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Griffin Over the Line13,252 words · 3,903 views · 282 · 6
Boast Busted: the Lost Tales3,601 words · 2,641 views · 156 · 3
A Final Crisis of Conscience1,381 words · 1,383 views · 130 · 3
Sergeant-at-Hooves3,789 words · 887 views · 60 · 2
Of Wands and Wizards8,200 words · 1,140 views · 100 · 8
Broken Tiara1,861 words · 1,245 views · 39 · 3
Blog Posts18
18w, 5dBlast From the Past8 comments · 116 views
So, over on the Lunaverse forms, a few of us were discussing alternate realties and such, during which one of the old conceits that we all use to joke about came up again. That being the notion that the entire Lunaverse is written as though it were the actual show on some parallel earth, with the show we known in our world being the fanfiction over there.
Anyway this reminded me of the first ever "contribution" I ever made to the Lunaverse, long before there really was a Lunaverse as we now know it. This was regretfully though a post made on the comments thread for Boat Busted over on EQD, and somewhere along the line (presumably during a site upgrade) they seem to have purged all the older comments. Fortunately I once reposted it to the Lunaverse forums, though unfortunately I had no idea where. Which is a problem as the Lunaverse has one of the largest and most active forums on all of FiM fic. With a little digging and a lot of luck, however, I finally found it and can now repost it in a more easily accessible place for posterity.
As a preface, in this review I pretended to be a brony living on an alternate earth where Boast Busted is an episode of the show, while Boast Busters is a fanfic. Also, please keep in mind that this was all written before LNLD, meaning it's no longer an accurate reflection of how the Lunaverse actually turned out.
Ooh, I remember reading this back when only the first chapter was up. It was loads of fun, but I forgot to ever check back on it, so I was quite pleased to see this pop up here giving me the opportunity to finish it.
It's kind of neat how the author manages to take background ponies like Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and even the one-shot 'villain' Twilight Sparkle then recasts them as the mane characters. It is kind of weird to only get minor references to our actual mane-6, though seeing Trixie cast in such an obnoxious role is even weirder. Sure she's always had issues with pride and ego, but this author dials them up to 11, though you can easily see how he still had to stretch to make her a convincing antagonist by resorting to using Snips and Snails to do the legwork with the ursa.
Now I hear he's going to go back and rewrite the first episode, awesome. I've seen plenty of takes on an evil Luna; Black Umbra, Eclipse, Midnight Shadow; so I can't wait to see what he does with this Nightmare Moon. Also it will be interesting to see how such an unhinged bookish snob like Twilight could ever make friends, until then I'm not sure I'm entirely buying the author's too modest to show off her magic interpretation. I wonder how much of that has to do with that baby dragon the author gave her? I know a lot of readers will probably try to call him out on being a poorly conceived OC self insert, but I personal found him amusing enough.
Then there are the author's choices for the elements of laughter and kindness. Pinkie Pie was an all too obvious choice, what with how her wacky background antics in the actual show are always a riot, probably why despite her being the mascot of our fandom he left her out of this story since it could have easily overshadowed any other plot. At least I hope that's why as I'd hate to think it had anything to do with the whole iTunes censorship fiasco. Fluttershy though will prove something of a wild card, as she's such an underused background pony who hardly anyone ever seems to write about.
Anyway, I left this post wholly unedited from it's original form. Though, looking back I really should have referred to something like Zune instead of iTunes, just to sell the idea of the world itself also being weirdly reversed.
41w, 4dReview-like Thingy: "Simple Ways" -- (SPOILERS, duh...)20 comments · 249 views
I don't normally do the whole episode reviews thing. Well not explicitly at least. I don't write blogs of my own, but some of my replies to other blogs or vlogs can be nearly as detailed. One such blogger I routinely engage in such comments with is my good friend InsertAuthorHere, arguably it's how we became friends in the first place. (…oh, and while someone of his famed renown hardly needs my meager endorsements, I'll implore anyone reading this blog that doesn't already follow his work to GO AND FOLOW HIS WORK! Seriously, he was one of the authors that helped inspire me to make my own feeble attempts at pony fanfiction)
Anyway, IAH was apparently of the opinion that because of my status as an unabashed worshiper of the one and only BEST PONY that is the fair lady Rarity, that I'd be driven to the war path by this episode (I guess for steeling my "waifu" or something like that, as if I'd ever be worthy of her affections). While I certainly had my reservations about it, after-all clichéd romance was supposedly one of those girly tropes that this show explicitly didn't cater too. Still, I was committed to keeping an open mind, but now that I've actually seen it with my own eyes, what's the verdict? Is the episode a worthy tribute to the goddess, or is it time for me to bust out a doomsday device or two and teach the world a lesson for daring to besmirch her flawless grace… let's find out.
Oh, and just as a final reminder, there will be SPOILERS!!!
So after a functional, but mostly expository open, the episode proper hooks me right away with Rarity's newest dress, a prefect reflection of the styles I associate with her character and something her last focus episode failed to deliver on. Rarity's tastes aren't fashionable just because they are edgy or unconventional, but because they are a true artistic expressions of the soul that reflect her personal inspirational muse -- most often expressed by gratuitous use gemstones.
Now then though, we come to the episode's controversial new character, Trenderhoof. When Rarity first drops his name my reaction was similar to the rest of her friends; it just seems so out of left field, not to mention why should a celebration of Ponyville town pride need to in any way impress this pony. Still, to the episode's credit Rarity quickly explains how his reviews have put other towns on the map, and so for a brief instance I get my hopes up that this episode is actually going to focus on Rarity trying to impress him not for her own sake, but for her desire to enhance the reputation of Ponyville... and then she starts fawning like a school-filly.
Now admittedly, this isn't really anything new for Rarity, but I'll be upfront about it; Trenderhoof's design out right sucks. He's awkwardly lanky, with a bland color palette, a too cool for rules soul patch, and don't even get me started on his wardrobe. He bears no resemblance to any of the previous ponies that Rarity has idolized, romantically or otherwise. Hoity Toity, Fancy Pants, and even Blueblood; these were all ponies that could be readily identified as individuals of sophistication and class at a glance. Trenderhoof though, no, just no.
He's really seems more of a hipster by design, which is seemingly reflected in his pension for liking things before they are cool. This is practically the antithesis of Rarity and the types of ponies she has previously admired who are all TRENDSETTERS. Admittedly there is a superficial overlap, but the key difference if that a trendsetter thrives on promoting their passion so that others can appreciate it too (or at least to enhance their own fame), as opposed to the hipster mentality that almost abhors the notion that the things they like could be corrupted by the masses.
Sigh… and then we get to the train station which is a scene that gives me very mixed feeling. Rarity is nervous, to the extreme, which might work if this was an episode just about town pride and/or her career. We've seen Rarity get nervous about living up to the expectations of her idols and likewise seen her embarrassed about the rusticness of her hometown. Unfortunately this scene frames it all "romantically", which is something Rarity has never really been shown to falter on. Compared to her forwardness with trying to woo the affections of Blueblood… well, technically she did still have to work up the nerve to first introduce herself, but in this episode that aspect is overplayed and it gets old fast.
Still, expectations can be a real nerve-racker, and once she does get over them her interactions with Trenderhoof are everything I've come to expect from Rarity, even if I still don't really get what she finds attractive about him, physically or intellectually. Of course then we get to the even bigger controversy of this episode, the love triangle… but you know what? I actually like this part. I mean I still don't get Rarity's half, but Trenderhoof's attraction to Applejack makes more senses. As I mentioned before, he seems to me like a hipster archetype and so for him the appeal of AJ would be in the "exotic". Now admittedly one might think he's met farmers before, but AJ isn't just a farmer; previous episodes have established that she is genuinely good looking and cleans up real well, so I can believe that the combination of such contrasting aspects would sucker Trenderhoof. I even adore his initially inane attempts to woo AJ with things she could care less about. I also like how AJ is clearly not oblivious to his advance, she's just not even remotely interested and has got better things to do.
Oh, and along the way we get some amusing lampshades in regards to Spike's one-sided crush on Rarity. They never really go anywhere, but they are still no less fun.
Now then, we have Rarity's first attempts to emulate AJ and prove that she can be just as rustic, in her best jewel incrusted work-duds… and I absolutely love every minute of it. I mean, yeah, it's painfully embarrassing and reeks of the most shallow superficial facades imaginable, but that's pretty much the entire point. Then failing that, she takes it all even further with an insultingly over the top hick style redress of not just herself but the entire theme for the upcoming festival… and that accent, my god that forced country accent. I. just. LOVE. It! Beyond that I think what I enjoy most about Rarity's bald-faced attempts to go "simple" is that she embraces it with ALL her normal flare for the elaborate, and in so doing completely misses the point.
Admittedly, I half expected Applejack to be rightfully infuriated that this is how her supposed "friend" sees her, but to AJ's credit the whole scenario is just too absurd to do anything other than laugh. Besides, why get angry when you can get even, which brings us to the elegant Miss Applejewel. Now the shoe is on the other hoof and I love it all just as much, and even if AJ is actually trying to help, I like to imagine her taking at least a little satisfaction in it as well. Admittedly AJ's choice of dress does clash with her own natural colors, but that's kind of the point; Rarity sucks at being rustic and AJ is equally bad at being fancy. Though one minor complaint, her vocal affections in this scene were disappointing; I really wish that they'd used her Manehattan accent from Cutie Mark Chronicles, but I guess AJ's just out of practice after all these years.
So after a bit mudslinging --literally-- the conflict is resolved and all is right in the world again, plus we all get to have one last laugh at Trenderhoof's expense… and may it truly be the last as if I never see him again it would be too soon. Seriously, I'll take more of Blueblood's pompously inflated self-important flank any day. Now I will say that I was a little disappointed with the closing montage of the actual festival. I don't much care for all the blatant recycling of Canterlot character models which seem too fancy for Ponyville even under the auspicious supervisions of Rarity. It all feels more like she just went and replaced everypony in town rather than gussying them up as best she could. Still, for just these short few scenes I guess we couldn't expect them to budget the expense of anything new.
So then, my final evaluation?
The episode has its flaws. It really should have kept the focus of Rarity's desire to impress Trenderhoof on her career rather than heart. The attempt at a love triangle is woefully forced and arbitrary to the point of contrivance. That said, the sheer absurdity still made me genuinely laugh in between attempts to palm my own face off to make the embarrassment stop. Even at their worst in this episode though, the characters remain relatable and likable. I cringe not because the episode is "bad", but because I pity the characters self-inflicted misfortunes. So in the end I like the episode, I really and truly do. It can't compete with any of my top three favorites of this season, but it easily beats out most everything else, including Rarity's other episode this season.
Granted, Rarity Takes Manehatten had a better premise (and earns bonus points for world building), but it stumbled on a forced and grossly superficial execution. By contrast, Simple Ways has a dreadful premise, but for the most part shines in execution. For all that I still don't see why Rarity would have a crush on Trenderhoof in the first place, for the rest of the episode she's in nigh perfect form, even as she compromises everything she believes in to impress a pony that in no way deserves the effort.
Anyway, Sorry if my lack of fury disappoints, but for good or ill the world shan't be ending today, at least not by my hand.
65w, 1dRe: What Applejack and Rainbow Dash's Elements of Harmony Should Have Been10 comments · 382 views
This blog post is something of a response to Digibrony's latest video. My apologies to my meager subscriber count for wasting time on this instead doing the thing you're all supposedly following me for in the first place and getting a new chapter out in one of my overdue fics. Anyway, to make sure anyone reading this knows what I'm talking about...
So, let's cut to the chase. I can't really agree with this at all. The idea that AJ and Dash are somehow the wrong way around is just a gross misconception of what their elements mean, both to themselves and in the greater context of being components upon which friendship is built. It might make for an amusing joke or parody, but shouldn't ever be indulged as having any serious merit.
Let's start with Applejack and the concept of Honesty — in the context of MLP this is about more than just telling the literal truth, but about being a truthful individual. When AJ says she's the most dependable pony it's because of that honesty, because once she makes a promise she always keeps it, because failing to do so would make her retroactively a liar. This was the main conflict in both Applebuck Season and Last Roundup. It's also likely why she doesn't charge more in SSCS6k. Given the length of the lines she could easily charge 3, 4, or even 5 bits per mug while still selling out every day, and a profit minded entrepreneur would do just that. AJ, however, isn't profit minded, but rather honest minded; 2 bits a mug is all her family needs to make enough profit to see them through the winter, so that's all she's going to charge. It's also why she refuses to "cheat" in the competition by lowering quality standards, because even if it let them make more cider it wouldn't be the genuine product.
The idea that she is somehow exceptionally more loyal than honest is just silly because her qualities of the former are built out of the latter. More so though, when the chips are down and shit hits the fan, she's really not very loyal at all. The most prominent example perhaps being Swarm of the Century, where when the parasprites start devouring all the food in town, AJ abandons her friends and the rest of Ponyville as well in order to safeguard her own farm first and foremost. Sure one could argue that she was just thinking about making sure everypony would still have food after the crisis, or just choosing loyalty to kin over friends, but that's not really how the scene plays out, and AJ doesn't even make a pretense of apologizing before leaving her friends high and dry on their own. Likewise, she shows a distinct lack of loyalty in Last Roundup, where she up an leaves behind everypony in Ponyville (including her family) just because she's too prideful to admit she wasn't able to deliver on a promise.
While yes, it could be said that AJ's episodes are more about loyalty than honesty, they are such always only in so far as AJ herself learning to be more loyal and/or less stuborn, whether it is to others or to herself. This is precisely why she couldn't be the Element of Loyalty, at least certainly not in the first episode. To wield the Elements of Harmony is to be an exemplar of that quality, and AJ still has a lot to learn about Loyalty. Contrast say Rarity, who despite being inarguably vein and occasionally even a little greedy, she is never lacking in generosity, in the willingness to give of herself for the sake of others. Yes, she occasionally misjudges what it is those around her actually need most, but she is still always giving and no episode has ever been about her learning to be more generous. Even in Sweet and Elite she is clearly torn between her old friends in Ponyville and her new contacts in Canterlot, with the linchpin that causes her to temporarily make the wrong choice being when those Canterlot ponies first beg her that they absolutely NEED her to attend their various events, that is to say, when they impose upon her generosity.
Now, I will admit that the way AJ demonstrated her element in the pilot was pretty poorly executed, but that seems mostly the fault having to cram six such trials into a mere 22 minute episode. Even at that, while it seems silly for AJ not to just tell Twilight outright why it's okay to let go (because Dash and Flutters are there to catch her), the idea still works in that the reason Twilight can trust AJ is because she's honest. Friendship is built on trust and that trust is built out of honesty. That said, AJ did much better job of proving this quality, not in the Everfree Forest, but in the Ponville Library when she was the one that told all the others they should both give Twilight the chance to explain and believe what she had to say. So perhaps AJ's element should have been more accurately called something like "Trust" or even "Faith", with her honesty just being the reason why others can always trust her.
Still, what AJ really is at the core of her character though, is an archetype for the supposed concept of "good old-fashioned country values", which rightly or not are often considered more honest than modern urban values.
Now for Rainbow Dash and the concept of Loyalty — she perhaps says it best in one of her earliest lines, "I would never leave Ponyville hanging," and yet despite this bold declaration it's sort of hard to take her at her word. Not only is Rainbow Dash kind of lazy, but also very self-centered. At first glance she seems very much like the sort who only cares about herself and would without hesitation abandon others to pursue her own ambitions, which is in fact how Nightmare Moon later tries to tempt her into betrayal. Actually, I think it could be quite telling that Dash's trial comes last (discounting Twilight of course who had to discover what the sixth element was in the first place) and is the only one where NMM is actively attempting to subvert the pony's future element; it suggests she'd become aware of what was happening and was now taking active measure to prevent the last piece from falling into place. Anyway though, were Dash the Element of Honesty, she'd likely have rejected the Shadowbolts on the grounds of not wanting a free handout, preferring to earn her victories for herself, but that not what she does and instead jumps at the opportunity completely buying into every bit of ego stroking she's fed; instead it is only when she is forced to choose between her ambition and her friends that she chooses the latter and proves herself the Element of Loyalty.
Even more so though, this notion that she's somehow the most "authentic" of the mane-six just doesn't bear out, because if anything she's the opposite. All of her ego, all of her grandstanding might make it seem like she's made out of confidence, but as seen in episodes like Sonic Rainboom, she is anything but confidant; it's all just a mask she wears to hide from her own insecurity and fear of failure. This compared to Fluttershy who knows she's something of a coward who'd rather runaway and hide than stand up for herself (even while being still quite capable of standing up for others), or Rarity who has no illusions about her own vanity and so makes no false pretenses at modesty and really does feel that she deserves to be treated like royalty, or Pinkie Pie who genuinely does just want to see everypony smile. There are no pretenses with the other mane-six and they all wear there souls bare and in plain sight; it's really only ever Rainbow Dash who hides from herself and is afraid to admit things because for fear of how others might judge her.
As in the preceding section it could be said that Dash has more episodes about honesty than loyalty, but again that's because she already is an exemplar of loyalty and so doesn't have much more to learn on that front. Conversely, in episodes like Read it and Weep she learns that it's okay to both like books and to admit that having a diverse range of interests doesn't have to detract from her core self-identity as an athlete. She still gets to have episodes about Loyalty though, which is the key conflict in Wonderbolts Academy. Dash initially goes along with Lighting Dust's recklessness because Spitfire seems to believe in her and Dash believes in Spitfire, or at least she wants to. The conflict is finally resolved not because of honesty but because of loyalty; Dash wants to be Wonderbolt, it's all she's ever dreamed of, but her loyalty comes first to her friends and perhaps more importantly to her own morality, and if those are values which don't matter to the Wonderbolts than that's not something she can be part of.
Some people like to use examples where Rainbow Dash speaks her mind as an example of honesty, such as when she said that Rarity kind of was a laughing stock in Suited for Success, or how she was the first of the mane-six to openly voice an opinion on the first set of dresses. Neither was a particularly good example of being honest though, but rather just being blunt, superficial and inconsiderately tactless. She's not saying these things because she thinks Rarity needs to hear the truth, but because she never stops to consider how hurtful that truth might be. Dash might always speak her mind, but it's not because of honesty, but because she just has a bad habit of speaking the first thing that comes to mind without ever stopping to consider the consequences; she's a speedster, not just in her actions but her words as well. This superficiality, and complete lack of authenticity, is also the driving conflict behind Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, where Dash gets completely sucked into her own hype and forgets that it is her deeds that make her a hero, not her popularity. Fame can be a fickle and fleeting thing, it's a poor way to define one's own self-worth, and Dash suffered for it when the next big thing came along and she mistakenly felt like she was no longer a hero without all the adoring fans to cheer her on.
Bring this all back together, I think it's also telling to look at the mane-six's cutie mark stories. Each of them not only involved discovering their talent, but their future element as well. Rainbow Dash didn't just prove her speed, but did so while in her own words 'defending Fluttershy's honor'. She wasn't racing for her own sake but as a way to stand up for someone else. Whereas AJ found her talent not just in going back to her farm and family, but in finally being able to admit to herself that it was where she truly belongs, the city having been just a false dream she was never really happy with and where she had to pretend to be something else just to fit in.
If the words LOYALTY and HONESTY seem ill-fitting or lacking when describing these two ponies, it's only because they are just singular words being used to define complex characters and concepts, but they don't have be the only words we use, and we get some good alternatives in Magical Mystery Cure, where Celestia describes them over a panning shot of the character as "charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course, the leadership". So really the important thing is to not get hung up on words, but to see past those words to the meaning underneath.
Because really, if we get hung up on words, would not generosity just be a subset of kindness? Are not the great lengths Pinkie Pie goes to brighten everyone's day while asking for nothing but a smile in return an expression of generosity? Was not Fluttershy's admission of her own insignificance and humility when Discord tried to first turn her against the others an expression of honesty, or what about Twilight who wouldn't just except the existence of Pinkie Sense and instead tried to find the truth behind it? Or just as much, how Twilight is unfalteringly dedicated and loyal to the princess. The fact is that all of the mane-six are good upstanding ponies and as such they all possess aspects of all six Elements of Harmony, just not in equal measure. Rather than mince details over the exact words used to describe them, we should instead take it as a given that they are the exemplars they already proved themselves to be when first defeating Nightmare Moon and then later Discord. Instead of trying to define the ponies by the elements, we should define the elements by the ponies.
Oh, and special thanks to Empty-bee for posting a link to this this on Reddit's MLP analysis community.
81w, 4dSometimes the Friendship Really is Magic7 comments · 188 views
So, I finally got the chance to sit down with my younger cousin, and watch the season three finale.
She went into it completely unspoiled, not knowing what would happen, and when it came to the moment of truth with Twilight and Celestia in the astral void, well... initially she seemed more focused on cracking some jokes about the poses not looking very natural for an equine body shape. However, the moment Twilight started rising into the air, glowing with inner light, my cousin's eyes lit up just as much and she was a flurry of, "Oh my gosh, what's happening!" and all I could do is smile as I watched her watch Twilight.
Then Twilight lands back in Ponyville to spread her wings for the first time and as she does my cousin was practically leaping for joy, which only doubled when Celestia showed up to proclaim that Twilight had not only become an alicorn, but a princess as well. This is something my cousin had asked about way back when we first started watching episodes together last summer. Even as early as the end of the second episode, my cousin thought Clestia must be training Twilight to become a new princess, so I knew she was going to enjoy this, but getting to see it all play out on her face was a real treat.
For all the drama this finale caused in the older peripherals that make up those of us that call ourselves bronies, it was good to see that at least for one young girl --just a few years over the show's target demographics-- this epic event went off flawlessly... well, almost.
She was very concerned that this meant the show was over, that there would be no more stories left to tell, so it was also nice to be able to assure her that a fourth season was already in the works.
97w, 2dBack On Track3 comments · 143 views
- ...
It was a moonless night in Fillydelphia. Outside the city's most prestigious college, all was still and quiet, all except for a lone figure that snuck through the shadows.
The figure slowly approached the campus library; a repository of knowledge second only to the royal archives in Canterlot, but far less guarded. Surely the solution would be located among the tome and scrolls held within its wall.
Keeping to the shadows, the figure crept along the building's perimeter. On finding a window low enough to see through, the shadowed sneak stood tall to peer inside. The room beyond appeared empty, not a guard or late night student in sight. The figure stepped back, took a deep breath, and then channeled a familiar spell. A unicorn's horn began to glow a soft magenta, and then — *POP* —in a flash of light the figure vanished.
With a second — *POP* —the intruder reappeared inside the building.
The figure glanced about attentively to ensure the room was devoid of any other presence. After assuring herself that she was alone the trespasser decided to take a chance. Now that she was safe from the prying eyes of any passing strangers in the night, she decided to conjure a light to guide her path and so illuminated her horn.
It glowed ever so dimly from beneath the hood of her burlap cloak, but it was enough to cast herself and the area about her in a soft magenta light. She released the orb of light, allowing it to float beside her as she passed by rows upon rows of shelves, each full of countless written materials of every conceivable variety.
This wasn't her first time sneaking into a library. Even so, Twilight Sparkle wasn't a bad pony, just a curious one. She'd never used her abilities to do anything that would actually hurt somepony, not intentionally. All she ever wanted was knowledge, and in that pursuit, what was the harm in breaking a few rules? Sure, many of the tomes she had secretly read were forbidden, full of highly illegal magic, but it wasn't like she had ever intended to use those spell to any malicious end.
However, it wasn't forbidden secrets that brought Twilight to these archives tonight. No, she came instead to seek a solution to a most dreadful misfortune that had befallen her. It had been a little over a week now, but the memories still haunted her; Ponyville, the ursa, and — her. Trixie Lulamoon: personal student to Princess Luna Equestris, savior of Equestria, the supposed living embodiment of magic itself… and the most obnoxious and deceitful pony Twilight Sparkle had ever had the displeasure of meeting.
Twilight could still remember how overjoyed she had been to go to Ponyville; to meet the legend made flesh. Oh, the things she had hoped to learn from somepony that must have been the most magical unicorn since Starswirl the Bearded. What she found instead had been… disappointing, to say the least.
At first she had thought Trixie a mere fraud, but then it became clear to her. Trixie had only been putting up a front to keep away less qualified apprentices, or so Twilight had thought. Thinking back on it, marching into town with an ursa minor in an attempt to prove her own worth hadn't been her most well thought out plan. Sure it was impressive, but even if nothing had gone wrong she'd have had an awful lot of explaining to do. She had, however, learned something very valuable from the incident.
Trixie Lulamoon really was a fraud.
After all, Twilight was the one who had to do all the real work in saving the town, even if she had sort of been responsible for causing the danger in the first place. After all, how many unicorns could have single hoofedly teleported a giant star beast? All that hack had done was perform a few cheap parlor tricks to distract it. Worse still though was when Twilight figure out the whole truth.
It had taken a few days, but once she'd puzzled it out the answer was beyond clear.
Miss Lulamoon was jealous, and not just that, but also afraid. She'd seen Twilight's potential, and it was obvious who the superior unicorn was. So that… that jezebel had set her up. Sabotaged Twilight's entire life, just so Luna would keep thinking her precious student was the best. Twilight Sparkle was the true, one and only best. And tonight, she would take her first steps in proving it.
Twilight gathered a dozen books in her magic, flipping pages and turning from one to the next and then to another as she referenced and cross referenced. It was a familiar routine, one that brought her more comfort than she had since the start of her forced exile. As she proceeded about her oldest of rituals she found an odd melody filling her head. Words came shortly thereafter.
That witch will learn her lesson; I won't play her number two
I'll gather the ingredients to make some harmony
The Princess will reward me; that is a certainty
Now is the time to prove my magic; somepone true for Honesty
There's no distress just need some Kindness; to claim my destiny
Yes, this plan would work; it was perfect, her very best ever. Twilight skipped over to a filing drawer, gathering up several census ledgers. She had a list to make.
Twilight glanced down at a nearby desk where she saw a pile of newspaper clippings, probably left by some careless student. Among them was a picture of Luna at the Grand Galloping Gala, greeting various officials and dignitaries, but it wasn't the princess or any of the guests that drew her gaze. No, her eyes focused squarely on the young azure unicorn standing next to the royal alicorn.
She was dressed in an outfit even more gaudy than when Twilight had last seen her. Most infuriating of all though was that lazy grin, as though the unicorn was bored. Anger flared as the mental tune continued.
You life's been just a cake walk; but I'll take your silver spoon
Find a joke; to get some Laughs and…
Work and toil, earn the Loyal; Generosity, reciprocity
Make enticing, fate revising; plans devising, rectifying
Meanwhile, far away in Canterlot, an armor clad unicorn stared up at the star filled sky. He was the captain of the royal guard, but more importantly he was a big brother.
Legend had it that if two ponies looked upon the exact same star they could hear each other, no matter how great the distance between them. As he picked out her favorite constellation, Shining Armor hoped beyond hope that his lost sister might be looking up at that same moment.
Please don't sink to madness; I can't bear that you're alone
Alas, even were such legends true, Twilight Sparkle was well beyond such simple reason.
I've hit the books, now time to look; I'm gonna meet them all
Now is the time to prove my magic; friendship's power I won't postpone
No more an outcast, found salvation; so I can finally go home
Twilight hesitated, realization slowly sinking into her soul as she repeated…
She stood in silence, still mouthing that last word as a single tear rolled down her cheek. As she stared out a window at the star filled sky, she wondered. Was it really so simple; was that truly all she really wanted?
For a brief moment she felt as though her B.B.B.F.F stood before, eyes pleading and full of forgiveness. She wanted so desperately to rush forward, to embrace the phantom, but…
Twilight shook her head. No. It didn't matter how much she wanted it, she couldn't, not yet. Not until she cleared her name. Not until she had proven her worth. Not until Lulamoon learned the meaning of REAL MAGIC.
I was wondering what had become of this song! It certainly looks like you've got the making of quite a tale, here.
So, um... yeah, this is a thing now; Don't ask me how or why.
Anyway, this might have only been a one time deal, although chapter 2 is already well underway, and I do have further ideas on how this might proceed after that. Oh, and just to cut off dead-end speculation, no, she is not going to recruit the other M6. That said, don't count on me getting back to this regularly or soon, but next part should be up before the weekend is over. Updates to this story will still likely be infrequent and/or inconsistent at best. Then again, I never thought even this much would go up, or that I'd write a good chunk of Ch2 before Ch1 even went live, so who knows?
Also big thanks go out to the folks at Friendship is Witchcraft for writing the music that inspired all of this.
Oh and sorry, Fizzy Orange. Looks like I lied about my next fic having no L!M6. I didn't mean for this to happen instead, honest.
Oh god......Is it sad that I actually sung the lyrics out loud as I was reading?
Ah yes. John Wayne. Patron Saint of Westerns and War movies alike.
...at least my father seems to think so, anyway. He has a bible and a cross by his bed, and a picture of John Wayne bigger than the fireplace over the mantle, and a replica of the man's rifle over THAT.
Speaking of which, where do you want this to take place, chronologically?
>>788187 I see problem with the colour tags too myself. Everything turned lavender until the end.
anyway this is something interesting. I wonder how it'll end up
I'd almost want to see a version of this...
This is going to be epic. Epically hilarious...
Still not seeing it on my end, and the tags all seem to check out. Fimfic or some specific browser/configuration would seem to be the one ing, not me.
Oh my, I have absolutely no clue. Wasn't even sure this would make the cut in a way that mattered. As of right now, since none of the action yet crosses over with the L6, I'd leave it's placement as ambiguous.
Well, that was a decidedly contributing factor responsible for inspiring the last two words of the chapter.
Poor Twilight. I like that you managed to evoke feelings of sympathy for her, despite her being so clearly in the wrong and having almost razed a village. I don't want her to succeed, but I don't want her to be totally humiliated and embarassed either. :-)
As per my comment up top, "MOAAAR", is already in the works. Things will be a bit different with each chapter though, as each of the next 5 will be told mostly from the perspective of whatever hapless pony Twilight is trying to recruit. So word of warning, there may be unexpected tonal shifts ahead, but I hop that everyone can enjoy the ride.
Mixed feelings you say? Then I have been successful.
oh, this is gonna be nuts. And maybe not a good way, either. Twilight... don't make me side against you. It's Trixie you're taking on, after all. She's my number one pony.
Given the poor foal's over-reliance on dictionary meanings and vital statistics, she's going to make a big mistake....especially since she totally ignores the one advantage Trixie has over her in both timelines: the ability to read other ponies. What she'll probably do is fill the elemental slots thusly:
1) Generosity: Locate some jerk who donates loads of bits to charities to get his/her name in the papers; said creep would be like L!Rarity who's only generous so she can help herself.
2) Kindness: The local analogue to a TV preacher. Said icon would be all benevolence in public and thus fool somepony as blind to nuances as L!Twilight but actually be a pious fraud.
3) Honesty: A stroke victim deprived of the ability to filter out what s/he says.
4) Loyalty: Some poor drone like Octavia who's the pawn of an ambitious noble and knows it.
5) Laughter: A crazy pony who makes L!Pinkie Pie look as timid as L!Fluttershy.
Since she wants very much to not get the point because doing so would mean that she should have taken the time to have a life, Twilight is opening herself up for not just another humiliation she'll learn the wrong thing from but becoming another Octavia: the cat's-paw of somepony like Blueblood.
Well, you got one of those mostly right, and another is pretty close depending on how broad a stroke you'd like to take.
And yeah, Twilight is relying on fairly text book like definitions, but given that she is such a giant nerd, it's a pretty advanced text book. So, while her interpretation will be very literal, she does possess a conceptual grasp that goes beyond the smallest most basic understanding. In some cases she might actually miss the mark by interpreting.
True. Still, though, this will not end well for her. I'd say by the time the crossover gets here, she'd be in a really bad way. I have no idea what RainbowDoubleDash has planned for her but I really, really, really do not like L!Twilight's chances of avoiding a lengthy stretch in the custody of the Shadowbolts when the dust settles. Getting a shut-up-Hannibal speech from M!Twilight might be what finally gets her to look in the mirror for the source of her woes.
Only problem there is that she might mistake M!Twilight for the mirror.
Mirrors don't shake you and tell you "Get a grip, lady!!" They also don't weep openly in sympathy for intellect gone rancid and potential squandered in the pursuit of vengeance. Even though the cross-over will be the first time she actually lays eyes on Corona, L!Twilight is marching down the same path to being somepony who could have been a hero but let negativity destroy her. As they say, there is no fire like passion, no shark like hatred, no snare like folly and no torrent like greed.
Mirrors don't shake you and tell you "Get a grip, lady!!" They also don't weep openly in sympathy for intellect gone rancid and potential squandered in the pursuit of vengeance.
Are you so sure about that? This is Twilight —off her rocker— Sparkle we are talking about here after all.
Point taken. She's THE example of RainbowDoubleDash's premise: her less desirable traits (obsessiveness, intellectual arrogance, refusal to admit that she might be wrong) have been amplified while her Harmonic traits (humility, the ability to find worth in others, her ability to laugh at herself) have been all but eliminated.
I'm not sure M!Twilight is all that humble. The only real example of that is Boast Busters and there it was more out of fear of driving away her new found friends, who seemed so put off by Trixie's bragging. I also wouldn't say she's all that good at laughing at herself, more so she's good at working her self into such a stressful frenzy that when it finally all cracks laughter is all she's left with.
The real core of her harmonic qualities, as I see it, is her ability to put faith and trust in others, and to make them do the same for her; the ability to some how inspire disparate individuals to cooperate and achieve a greater goal. She is the magic at the center of the M6s collective friendship; the glue that binds them all together, making each a better pony than they would be alone.
Here, she lacks that ability to put trust in others and be trusted. Sure, she tells herself that she's doing this for the greater good but she really just wants a pat on the head and a cookie for being smarter than the ciphers who only exist to tell her that she's special.
Yeup, though I do at least intend to try showing that while her harmonic quality is lessened in the the Lunaverse, it is still there, no matter how much her more unsavory traits seem to overshadow it.
Too bad that she didn't have a focus for it here. One of the things that happens in both worlds is that her very positive trait of being able to focus on details no one else sees has a revenge effect: it blinds her to the bigger picture. In the Celestiaverse, we see her being too wrapped up in herself to realize ponies do care and enchanting dolls. Here, without someone actively showing her the kindness she craves, she thinks that friendship is a waste of time (all the while blaming the ponies she shoved away for her own failure to act) and gets goaded into smashing up villages by abrasive show-offs.
I wonder down the line, if Draconequii(sp?) are canon and beings of lesser power, would Twilight try and seek one of them out, or does the no-rules aspect of that sort of magic useless to her, despite it's power? /plotbunny
I'm actually a little disappointed. I'd hoped Twilight would be the cause of the the Crisis crossover. It seems more interesting to me than just Corona, though of course she could take advantage
Don't take anything here as any indication how the crisis crossover will go down. RDD is writing that, not me. This is mostly just a work of passion that I wrote while in a bit of a weird mental place. I have no idea how, or even if, it relates to the wider Lunaverse canon yet. I'm trying to keep consistent, but that's about all I can say.
Right now my focus is purely on telling what I hope is something of an introspective set of character pieces, largely inspired by Twilight's inability to come to terms with her own faults. Though most of that will be indirect for the next few chapters, as I intend to introduce each of her selected alternate elements through their own perspective so that I can focus on the faults that make them poor choices.
Whether I succeed at any of that will be up to the audience to decide. Witch should all start soon when I post the next chapter in a hour or so.
Someone sing this version of Pinkie's Brew and post it to youtube, NAO.
Jezebel is a reference to story in our universe. I am not sure that it is a good idea to have references to our universe. It opens up a big can of worms.
Really like how this is starting out, will have to read the rest soon


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I was looking for a lesson pony, the pony I was first bidding on went for a higher price than I could have paid. I saw her same age, breed, height, color, just different gender and temperament. I bought her, now she is fun for me to ride even though I am too tall for her. We will be putting her for sale once she is over the flu. She became ill when we took her to a livestock auction. She is getting better and is acting spunky again..
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gq magazine
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GQ Cover Shoots - Channing Tatum Stars in Inquiries of Gentle Men
22 Jump Street star Channing Tatum demonstrates the finer qualities of a gentle man while taking a break from his GQ cover shoot style fitting and answering a few pressing questions read more
May 2014
Will Arnett Plays "Guess That Actor"
Actor Will Arnett plays a game of Guess That Actor on the set of his GQ photo shoot read more
May 2014
The 15 Funniest People Questionnaire: Nick Kroll
Nick Kroll on the importance of a good catchphrase read more
May 2014
The 15 Funniest People Questionnaire: Kate McKinnon
Kate McKinnon on sex, comedy, and how she feels about the German Chancellor read more
May 2014
Fighting Weight - MUAY THAI: Proper Hand Wrapping Technique
Muay Thai trainer Tyler Peterson demonstrates one effective technique for wrapping your hands to protect them before jumping into the fighting ring read more
May 2014
The 15 Funniest People Questionnaire: Key and Peele
Key and Peele on their favorite NFL draft names and early influences read more
May 2014
GQ Style Bible - Dev Hynes Most Regrettable Fashion Choice
The musical force behind Blood Orange, Dev Hynes, recalls the most regrettable fashion trend he ever followed read more
May 2014
The 15 Funniest People Questionnaire: Amy Schumer
The potty-mouthed star of Inside Amy Schumer on her favorite comedian, the best (read: dirtiest) joke she's ever heard, and more read more
May 2014
Fighting Weight - YOGA: Lower Back Stretch and Strengthen
For those who experience tightness or pain in the lower back, yoga instructor Amanda Murdock has a simple at-home sequence you can use to stretch and strengthen that area read more
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Sometimes it's best to just leave things as is. The young guys proved they can get the job done when Mtl had all the injuries, and they all are YOUNG!
There are a few who could be moved for the right player, maybe a strong puck moving d-man.
I have no idea why so many so called fans, and self proclaimed knowledgable fans keep throwing Subban into trades. He made the world junior "all star team" He is a top d-man in the OHL, and he has done everything MTL has asked of him in terms of his development. How many players have you heard speak that are sincere when thet say that they want to help bring the cup to MTL. he already bleeds Bleu, Blanc, Rouge!
I think all the trade talk has caused the current slide and hiccup with the team. It's time to stop the nonsense and let the guys play!]]>
With the other trades, you have removed the nucleus of the team and to build new chemistry would take them out of the picture for winning the cup.]]>
McDonough may turn out to be a premier 2 way d-man, but ,maybe he'd rather do it elsewhere! Remember Rod Langway? I hated to see him go, but he wanted to play in the US. They were forced to trade him. I personally wouldn't take a chance and trade away a skilled player like Subban(check out his stats this year), who already bleeds bleu, blanc, rouge! With players like Emelin, Valentenko, and possibly O'Byrne, Mtl needs strong puck moving d-men a la Coffey.]]>


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November 28, 2014
May 27, 2013
People across Virginia are already taking advantage of the hurricane preparedness sales tax holiday.
Hurricane season starts Saturday, so this week, customers can stock up on items for an emergency kit before storms arrive.
Items that are available for purchase without tax include batteries, flashlights, bottled water, duct tape and first-aid kits. Some larger items like generators less than $1,000 are also tax free.
Lowe's in Albemarle County has a special display for tax-exempt items. Managers say it's an important sale to take advantage of.
"Who wouldn't want to be prepared? If something happens and you don't have what you need to protect your family, protect your home," said Timothy McKee, an assistant manager at Lowe's. "Those are the two main things -- home and family."
The tax holiday, which began last Saturday, runs through Friday.
Click Here to access the online Public Inspection File
Viewers with disabilities can get assistance accessing this station's FCC Public Inspection File by contacting the station with the information listed below. Questions or concerns relating to the accessibility of the FCC's online public file system should be directed to the FCC at 888-225-5322, 888-835-5322 (TTY), or firstname.lastname@example.com.


text:
IT'S been a typically-hectic couple of weeks on the county cricket circuit, with plenty of ups and downs on a personal note.
Last week, Yorkshire had the big clash against Warwickshire at Headingley.
We know at home we are a menacing side and just needed to get the killer instinct into our game a little more.
Warwickshire included Ian Bell and Chris Woakes, while we had Joe Root, Gary Ballance and Tim Bresnan, all made available by England.
On paper both teams looked very strong and it was a fantastic game to be a part of – mainly because we came out on top and in the end won at a canter!
I finished with match figures of 7-76 and it's always nice to contribute to a win.
Another decent haul, including the prize scalp of Bell, restored my confidence and proved to myself again what I can be capable of when on song. I just need to keep the consistency.
It was another game which also confirmed to me that Liam Plunkett has to play for England again soon.
That's not just based on his incredible form with bat and ball, but he has to be the quickest bowler in the country right now, getting over 90mph regularly.
That game came hot on the heels of the trip north to play the defending champions Durham in front of the Sky cameras.
Everybody thought it would be the typical spicy seamer-friendly wicket you get at Durham.
But in fact it was the near opposite and after a spicy first couple of sessions, it just got flatter and slower as each day wore on.
It's very frustrating for a bowler, especially as we played all the cricket in the match to keep Durham on the back foot and they had to fight very hard to earn a draw.
The pleasing aspect from our point of view was that yet again we bossed a game for large amounts of time.
We were able to put the opposition under pressure by scoring a large first innings score and then trying to bowl them out twice.
We got close to doing just that, but ultimately had to settle for a draw and took away a decent points haul.
Iwasn't happy with my performance. It just didn't click for me and in trying to compensate for good form, I maybe tried too hard and felt I rushed my action too much.
It was similar to the second innings at Middlesex in the previous game, which is extremely frustrating.
It just confirms to me that consistency has to improve if I'm to kick on and play a higher level and be successful.
Having said that, when I did get it right I felt threatening and got Scott Borthwick with a decent short ball.
I then enticed a nick off Kumar Sangakkara, which the umpire didn't see or hear an edge.
Then I had another nick get dropped off a tough chance in the slips.
It's hard enough trying to get someone of Sangakkara's class out once let alone three times!
- WITHIN a couple of days of beating Warwickshire in the championship last week, we we got back into Natwest T20 Blast mode.
Our first game of the campaign was against my old side, and reigning champions, Northamptonshire.
But even with our England boys we couldn't contrive a win.
We didn't play anywhere near our best and fought back to post a decent total after a poor start.
It was very disappointing, especially as you like to start the campaign strongly, but we will have to bounce back strongly against Warwickshire tonight in front of the TV cameras.
Despite the result, the Northants game had two consecutive balls of madness involving me.
First, I took an incredibly steepling catch at fine leg which I did well to get anywhere near.
Our 12th man ran on with the drinks and shouted he'd just lost his mortgage on me taking the catch, which shows how much faith he had for me!
'Safe hands Brooks' I always say, though.
With the next ball, I threw the stumps down and ran out Kyle Coetzer, which sent me on a merry run, skip and dance about the pitch, which got Headingley's Western Terrace all excited.
- AWAY from cricket, I read that Oxford United have not re-signed James Constable.
As a fan of the club it disappoints me to see Beano leave.
I wish him all the best for his future at his next club, but I fear Oxford need to sign a goalscorer or two of his quality for next season.
Latest Sport news
Peter Leven says Oxford United have signed an 'unbelievable talent'
12:00pm Friday 28th November 2014
PETER Leven believes John Campbell will handle the step up from Northern League to Football League after seeing his talent first-hand.
MOTORSPORT: Susie Wolff becomes Williams test driver
9:45am Friday 28th November 2014
Susie Wolff will be stepping up to the position of official test driver for Williams Martini Racing for the the 2 015 F1 season
Appleton: Oxford United deals down to ambition, not cash
9:30am Friday 28th November 2014
OXFORD United's knack of signing coveted players is down to philosophy rather than finances, according to head coach Michael Appleton.
John Campbell desperate to seize second chance with Oxford United
9:10am Friday 28th November 2014
JOHN Campbell expects it will be a struggle to sleep tonight as he deals with excitement levels beyond anything he experienced playing in two Wembley finals.
Oxford United striker Tyrone Barnett hopes to take over from Roberts
8:40am Friday 28th November 2014
Tyrone Barnett is hoping he can return to the Oxford United starting line-up tomorrow in place of the injured James Roberts.
New Cheltenham boss Paul Buckle turns up for work early
8:30am Friday 28th November 2014
New Cheltenham Town boss Paul Buckle started work a day early this week to improve the chances of getting a result against Oxford United tomorrow.
RUGBY UNION: Chinnor commitment bodes well, says Williams
8:00am Friday 28th November 2014
MATT Williams says Chinnor have had the defining moment of their season in National 2 South.
Oxford United fans could face delays travelling to Cheltenham on Saturday
8:00am Friday 28th November 2014
Oxford United supporters travelling to tomorrow's game are being warned about roadworks in Whaddon Road.
Two in, two out at Oxford United on deadline day
7:00am Friday 28th November 2014
OXFORD United worked right the way up to yesterday's loan deadline as they completed four deals.
FOOTBALL: Barry - Shaw could be out for season
7:00am Friday 28th November 2014
Wantage Town manager Daniel Barry says he doesn't expect Bradley Shaw to play again this season as he struggles with a serious knee injury.


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It's probably no secret that we love washi tape here at ABM. We use it in projects all the time (like here and here), and we even have our own line of it now too! We're working with our longtime supporters Chronicle Books on this post, who sent us a copy of Fun with Washi! The book is filled with washi ideas we hadn't thought of, and it inspired us to make our own version of their pixelated washi heart, but we decided to do the heart as a wall decal on a much larger scale. Since the washi can be removed whenever you like, this is also a great decor idea for renters and dorm rooms.
-2" wide washi tape (this brand is the best washi for walls)
-1/4" washi tape
-X-Acto knife
-metal ruler
-cutting mat
First you'll want to use the 1/4" tape to make a horizontal grid of lines that are far enough apart to fit your wide washi tape between them.
Make as many lines as you need to achieve the height that you want (mine is about 40" tall). You'll notice that I made the lines shorter towards the bottom and top so I wouldn't waste any thin tape in places where I wouldn't be putting any squares.
Next I added some vertical lines to the grid to keep all the hearts in line vertically as well. I marked every other square so I only had to use half the tape, and each space fits two squares with a 1/4" space between them.
To cut a lot of squares at once, use a large cutting mat and lay several strips of tape back to back horizontally on the mat. Make sure you can see the measurement lines on the top and bottom edge of the mat. Use your X-Acto knife and ruler to cut vertical lines every 2". (I cut down every 2" because that's how wide my tape was, but if your tape is different, then cut your lines using whatever measurement that tape is). You should be able to peel off each square if you just lift a corner with the X-Acto knife.
All I had to do from that point on was fill in the heart starting with one square at the bottom middle position. Once the shape was as wide as I wanted it, I went straight up, made the little "humps", and back down in at the center. If you want to make this exact shape, you can always just count how many are in each row and go from there. Once your squares are attached to the wall, just pull off the thin tape and stand back to admire your results.
It's just too cute if you ask me! Make sure to choose a good brand of washi (like the one I linked in the supplies) so you don't have to worry about doing all that work just to have it fall right off the wall. Of course, if you ever move, get sick of it, or have a change of "heart", just peel it off, and you should be good to move on to your next idea! xo. Laura
Credits // Author: Laura Gummerman, Photography: Laura Gummerman and Sarah Rhodes. Photos edited with A Beautiful Mess Actions.
I made this bench the other day for IQ's (our daughter) room. It doubles as storage, which is great, because that kid has more stuff than I do. You could make this for pretty much any room in your house, or even an outdoor space (maybe when it warms up again).
-4' x 8' sheet of 3/4" hardwood ply (I used 3/4" particle board just because I never had before. I wanted to try it out, but if I were to do it again, I'd just use plywood.)
-4' x 8' sheet of 1/8" DPI board (optional, if you want the bench/storage to have sliding doors)
-wood glue
-table saw
-miter saw
-pocket hole jig
-measuring tape
Step One: The first thing I did was cut out all of the material. I wanted to challenge myself to make the bench from one sheet of material. See diagram above for the cut list.
Step Two: After I had all the pieces cut, it was time to do a bit of pocket hole drilling. All of the B pieces needed to have holes drilled on both top and bottom sides (refer to diagram above). The D pieces just needed holes for the bottom. I made the sides half pieces so that even with the doors closed, Imogen could take toys out of the sides or (fingers crossed) put them away. I'm sure that day is a couple months away.
Step Three: Once the holes were all drilled, it was time to assemble. I measured and marked out where each piece went. Each piece was about 9" apart from each other. From there, I just worked my way down, gluing and screwing. I wanted the storage to have sliding doors, so I cut a notch out of the upper piece corner, which was about 1/4" x 1/4". Once that was done, I attached it to the top of the bench
Step Four: After the top was attached, the back was cut and attached; I cut out the doors and placed them in the opening. Then I nailed on all of the surround strips, which kept the doors in place and gave the overall piece a bit more detail. I drilled out a couple of finger holes and was done! Or so I thought. I liked the brown color, dang it! But Sarah had other plans. I ended up painting it gloss white, which looks good too. ;) The particle board needed three coats to start looking halfway decent (another reason I'll never use particle board again, but at least I know now!).
I hauled the thing upstairs (I'm just looking to kill my back again), and it looks pretty dang good!
What do you think? Do you have a space this might work in? -Josh
Credits // Author: Joshua Rhodes. Photography: Sarah Rhodes. Photos edited with A Beautiful Mess actions.
Making furniture is one of my favorite things. There's very little more empowering than imagining a piece of furniture and actually making it a reality with a little hard work. Not only is furniture making a great way to potentially save money, but it's a really practical way to put your creativity to work!
Recently my mom asked my dad if he would be able to find time to make her a bench she could use at the dining table for family feasts and also in their entryway. I said, "Ma! Why don't I make you that bench?" Girls know how to use power tools too! So we worked together to come up with this simple slatwood bench design in a slightly distressed ebony finish.
-3 1x3" boards* ($3.82 each for pine)
-1 1x4" boards* ($4.58 for pine)
-8 1x2" boards* ($2.48 each for pine)
-4 angled leg plates (like these) ($1.14 each + $5.50 shipping= approximately $10)
-4 tapered legs in 12"-16" length, depending on your desired height—I used these ($17.95 each for pine), but these are less expensive ($5.38 each).
-8 1.5" Kreg screws
-32 1.5" flat wood screws
-16 finishing nails (at least 1.5")
-Gorilla Glue
-wood filler
-wood stain or paint and primer
-120 & 220 grit sandpaper
-extra fine steel wool
Total Cost (including lumber, legs, and leg mounting plates): $68
Cost assumes the less expensive table legs and does not include screws, paint, glue, etc., because those are items I already had on hand, and you may too. Also, cost of lumber will be lower if you buy longer boards and cut them down to size.
-miter saw
-power drill
-Kreg pocket hole kit (with jig, drill bit, and driver)
-standard drill bits & drivers
-2 short clamps & 2 long clamps (not pictured in supplies)
-belt clamp (not pictured)
-tape measure
-rag or sponge
-optional: power sander
*The length of the boards is up to you, but I used 4' long boards.
Step One: Use the miter saw to cut 45 degree angles on the ends of two 1x3 boards as shown above. Cut down the length of the 1x2s to match the inside length of the freshly cut 1x3s. It is very important that the 1x2s are perfectly cut to exactly match the inside length of the mitered 1x3s.
Step Two: Use an extra board to space out the planks as shown above, arranging the 1x2s in the middle, and the 1x3s on the ends. Use scrap wood to make sure the ends of the 1x2s are even.
Step Three: Measure the distance between the 1x3s and cut two pieces of the 1x4 to that length. These will be the support boards for the bench. Screw them to the previously spaced-out 1x2s, as shown above. I attached mine 6" from the ends of the 1x2s. Make sure to keep pressure on the board while drilling the pilot holes and screwing in the wood screws, or you might mess up the board spacing.
Step Four: Clamp the Kreg jig onto the ends of the attached board and drill 2 pocket holes which will be used to connect the 1x3s to the edge.
Tips for Making Pocket Holes: It's difficult to give specific instructions for what stop point to set your Kreg jig when drilling pilot holes, because there are variants involved, such as where the stop collar is placed on your drill bit, what length screws you are using, and the exact thickness of your wood. My suggestion is to practice with scrap pieces of wood to ensure you do not over-drill or under-drill for the pocket holes.
Step Five: Loosely clamp the 1x3s to the edge of the attached support boards. Use a scrap piece of wood to make sure the edge of the 1x2 boards perfectly line up with the inside of the mitered 1x3 edge. Once each end of the bench is perfectly even with the mitered 1x3s, tighten the clamps. If the ends do not match up evenly, you may need to trim the attached 1x2s with a table saw, or else shave a bit off the mitered 1x3 before attaching them.
Step Six: While the 1x3s are tightly clamped, screw the 1.5" Kreg screws into the support boards, attaching the 1x3s securely to the base of the bench.
Tips for clamping: When clamping soft wood like pine, use scrap pieces of wood as a buffer between the clamp and your finished piece, or the clamp will imprint the wood.
Step Seven: Measure the entire width of the bench base to find the length to cut the last of the 1x3s to create the mitered end caps. Cut more than you think you will need, then slowly, slowly trim a tiny bit more off the ends until you get the perfect dry fit.
Step Eight: Loosely fit a belt clamp around the entire bench top, preparing for fitting in the mitered end caps you cut in step seven. Soak the end grains of the wood with water and cover with some Gorilla Glue.
Step Nine: Fit the mitered end cap into place and completely tighten the belt clamp. The pressure from the clamp and the moisture in the wood will activate the Gorilla Glue, creating a strong bond. I added some finishing nails to be extra sure the wood won't pop out of place due to natural shrinking/growing that occurs with moisture changes in the environment.
Step Ten: Sand down the entire bench with 120 grit sandpaper to fix any unevenness in the seams. If you have extreme unevenness, you can fix it with 60 grit sandpaper and a power sander. Add wood filler to any small gaps in the seams and to cover the nails, which should be slightly recessed into the wood. (You can recess nails by tapping them with another nail.) When the wood filler has set up, sand down the entire bench again with 220 grit sandpaper.
Step Eleven: Stain or paint the bench to your desired finish. If you are painting, make sure to wet sand the primer with 400 grit sandpaper and water before painting. This will ensure a silky smooth finish. If you are staining, always sand down with 0000 grade steel wool after each coat of stain and also after the first coat of sealer, unless you are using wax as a sealer.
Step Twelve: Attach the leg mounting plates to the support boards of the bench. I attached mine about an inch from the support board's edge, making sure to work around the screws that were already in place. Make sure the placement of the angled leg plates will direct the legs' angle to the outside corner of the bench. Then screw the legs into place until they are perfectly tight.
This bench works great as a coffee table, extra seating, or a place to put your house plants. It's such a simple piece of furniture with lots of style!
I love how sleek the bench is, and while I like the way it looks in my modern home, it will fit right in with my mom's transitional-styled decor too! -Mandi
Credits // Author and Photography: Mandi Johnson. Photos edited with Stella and Valentine from the Signature Collection.
I have to admit that I am totally that girl who carries around a giant purse that is always stuffed to the brim with everything you could possibly imagine. As much as I like feeling like I'm prepared for whatever situation may come about, it's such a freeing feeling when we have a date night and I choose to take a small clutch out on the town instead. It feels so light and dainty in comparison to my heavy-duty everyday bag. I thought it would be fun to make an envelope-style clutch with a colorblock element that I could use for date nights and dress down for weekday use as well. It's a beginner project, so if you've never ventured into bag-making before, this project is a great one to start with!
-2 colors of real or faux leather of medium stiffness (one for the body of the clutch and one for the flap)
- Download ABM Clutch Template (right click to download)
-hole punch pliers
-X-Acto knife (or rotary cutter), metal ruler, and cutting mat
-waxed thread
-yarn needle
-small binder clamps
-twist-lock purse lock (I used this adorable pony one!)
Print, assemble, and cut out your paper clutch template. Trace the appropriate template (either the main body section or the top flap) onto the wrong side of each of your colors of leather.
Use your X-Acto knife and/or rotary cutter to cut out the main body section and top flap from the two templates. On the main body section of leather, mark a dot every 1/4" on both the top edge and along the left and right sides of the bottom flap. Use your hole punch pliers to punch a hole in each marked spot.
Fold the two side flaps inward and fold the bottom flap upwards on top of the side flaps. Use the binder clips to hold the flaps in place. Stick a pen or thin marker through each punched hole on your bottom flap so that it makes a corresponding mark on the side flap underneath it. Unfold the sections and use the hole punch to punch those marked holes as well. Repeat the process with the top flap that is cut from your other color of leather and the holes punched across the top of your main body section (the template shows where they should line up).
To sew your sections together, thread a medium-sized yarn needle with the waxed thread, make a knot at the tail of your thread, and begin to sew through the holes. To create a continuous sewn line without any gaps, just sew back through the opposite holes again once you reach the end. Knot the thread on the inside of the clutch and trim the excess. Repeat process on the opposite side of the main body and on the top to connect the top flap to the main body section.
If you want to add an extra finish to the inside of your clutch, cut out another top flap template that is 1" shorter on the bottom than the original top flap. Line the two flaps up with each other (wrong sides together), mark and punch 1/4" holes along the edge, and sew them together. This gives you an extra sturdy top flap, brings a pop of color to the inside, and adds a nice stitching detail. I didn't backtrack once I reached the end on this stitching detail because I liked the look of the gaps between each stitch. Of course you can add the stitching detail even if you don't add a second layer to the top flap, so keep that in mind.
Now that your clutch is assembled you can install your twist-lock purse lock on the top flap and on the front of the main body section underneath it. Each purse lock will install a little differently depending on the design, but you should only need an X-Acto knife to cut holes or notches in the correct spots and maybe a small screwdriver, depending on the type. There are lots of styles out there to choose from!
Isn't that little gold pony closure just the cutest? I think this clutch is perfect because it's not too dressy, so you could wear it during the day with jeans, but the gold detail adds enough glamour for an evening out as well. Of course, you could use metallic leather instead if you wanted it to go even dressier. What do you think? Are you up for giving bag-making a try? xo. Laura
Credits // Author: Laura Gummerman. Photography: Laura Gummerman and Sarah Rhodes. Photos edited with Stella and Lillian from A Beautiful Mess actions.
I love the easy charm of metal basket pendant lights. You know the kind—the ones that look like simple metal baskets but will set you back a hundred bucks or more at the store. I've seen DIY versions of basket pendants, but have never been a fan of the bare bulb look, and would rather not have to wire a light myself. So I crafted this funky globe version of a basket pendant that looks a little less country with a whole lot of mod. No wiring required, and even better—no bare bulb!
Check out how simple it is to make—just three easy steps!
-acrylic globe (I used this 10" one.)
-2 hanging planter baskets (I used this one.)
-pendant light kit (I used this one.)
-clear tape
-coordinating wire (I found mine in the jewelry section of the craft store.)
-optional: metal spring, long enough to reach across small basket opening
-power drill
-1 5/8" hole saw (self-feeding is best, like this one)
Step One: Cut a whole in the middle of the acrylic globe. Align the self-feeding center of the hole saw with the dimple in your globe to make sure you're exactly on center.
Optional Step: If your globe is significantly smaller than the basket you are using, you will need to utilize a spring as a tension device to dangle the globe at the precise height inside the basket. If your globe is large like mine, the globe will fill most of the basket and you don't need anything for cord tension.
A: Stretch a sturdy metal spring from one side of the small basket opening to the other. B: String the pendant light kit through the large factory hole and then the small hole you made in the globe and then through the spring on the basket. The spring will keep the wire centered and sturdy.
Step Two: Use clear tape to attach the bottom basket to the top basket. Make sure any designs on your basket line up. I had to tape mine again because I had forgotten about that.
Step Three: Wrap small pieces of coordinating wire around the two wire baskets to connect them. Then remove the tape from step two.
Use a ceiling hook to hang your pendant, or make a floor lamp by using a hanging plant stand or lantern hook like this one from World Market.
This project is so easy to customize depending on the size of globe or type of basket you use. So many possibilities! I think it would look really nice to make two of these lights to hang above nightstands on either side of a bed. It's a great temporary lighting solution for renters too! -Mandi
Credits // Author and Photography: Mandi Johnson. Photos edited with Stella and Valentine of the Signature Collection.
Are you looking into getting into working with leather? I have been wanting to for a long time now. This mason jar sleeve is a perfect way to dive in and learn a bit about the craft. We have a great leather store here in Springfield, and the supplies and possibilities are endless. If you don't have a sweet leather store in your area, there's always the Internet, which has everything. This project was super easy, didn't require many tools, and would make a great gift! I'm already looking forward to trying other leather projects. Sorry, family and friends, you're all getting leather stuff for Christmas. I'm not really sorry.
Let me show you what I made!
-heavy-duty leather (the kind I used is about 1/8" thick)
-snap fasteners
-waxed cord
-leather punch
-X-Acto knife
-metal ruler
-setter tool or snaptool
Step One: The first thing I did was do a bit of measurin' and figurin'. I knew I wanted to make a sleeve with a handle. So I cut out two rectangular pieces of leather, the first being the sleeve. To get the length, I just wrapped the leather around the mason jar I was using and marked the length with a Sharpie (you can also use the X-Acto to make marks, which I did for the design). I measured the height I needed on the mason jar, then marked out the rectangle. I then scratched in the design and handle holes and cut those out. The first design I cut out was cool, but I found that when it was wrapped around the jar, corners stuck out (dumb!). So I stuck with a diamond shape. Then I cut out a piece that I thought would work for the handle. I wasn't totally guessing; I made a mock-up with paper, which helped in figuring out right proportions and measurements. I'm sure all mason jars are not created equal, but here are the measurements for the Ball wide mouth jar I used:
Step Two: After I had the pieces and designs cut out, I punched holes on the ends of the sleeve piece for the twine. Then I punched a hole on either end of the handle piece and attached the snaps. (We later added a second snap for better aesthetics.) Adding the snaps was a snap. When buying them at your hobby store, you'll get four pieces per set (the bottom, socket, eyelet, and stud.) All you do is set the button in one side of the leather, then the socket on the other end (making sure that the button side is where you want it). Then you place the setter onto the socket and give it a good smack with a hammer. Repeat with eyelet and stud on the other end.
Step Three: Once I had the handle threaded through the sleeve and the snaps set up, it was just a matter of lacing up the two ends of the sleeve together. I cut a couple of feet of the waxed cord and went at it. The cord was stiff enough that I didn't need a needle; I just cut the tip into a sharp point. I started on the inside, knotted the end, and using an "x" pattern, worked my way across. The only thing that I had to worry about was keeping the laces snug. Once you've done that, you're done! Put it on the jar and you've got yourself a handsome sippin' mug. Enjoy!
Side note: This is something extra I did to make it a little bit more customized: I scratched some designs in with the X-Acto knife. Feel free to experiment with that as well!
Let me know if you have any questions! -Josh
Credits // Author: Joshua Rhodes. Photography: Joshua Rhodes And Laura Gummerman. Thanks to Todd Gummerman for modeling. :) Photos edited with A Beautiful Mess actions.
Remember our "Have a Sweater? Make a Pillow!" post? Well, now it's time to use the same principle to make an adorable pom-pom hat to go with the cooler weather that's rolling in. If you don't have expert sewing skills, don't worry! It's really easy and a great way to upcycle either an old sweater or make use of a thrift store sweater that doesn't fit but has a good pattern or color. Let's get started!
-fabric scissors
-straight pins
-standard sewing machine
-yarn & cardboard for pom-pom
First you'll want to grab a knit hat that has a shape you already like. Turn your sweater inside out, flatten, and place the hat at the bottom of the sweater band. Trace the outline around the edge of the hat with straight pins.
Use your sewing machine and follow the lines of the pins to sew the outline of the hat. Use a medium to small stitch and go slowly as you sew your line.
Use your fabric scissors to cut around your sewn hat, leaving a 1/4" seam allowance. Take your cardboard and yarn and follow this pom-pom tutorial to make a fun topper for your hat (just change the cardboard donut size to 4" wide with a 1" hole in the middle. If you want to make a mixed color pom-pom like the black and white one, just wrap two different colors at once. Use a needle and thread to secure the pom-pom to the top of the hat, and you're finished!
See, I told you it was easy! I bribed these two pretty ladies into being my hat models by telling them they could keep their favorite hat. Thankfully, we all liked a different hat the best so it worked out perfectly! Happy sewing! xo. Laura
Credits // Author: Laura Gummerman. Photography: Laura Gummerman and Sarah Rhodes. Photos edited with Piper from A Beautiful Mess actions.
The other day I was at the craft store getting something for some projects. I don't even remember what (sometimes it seems like I spend more time there and at Lowe's than here at the office; it all blends together). While wandering the aisles, I spotted some colorful sheets made out of foam. I didn't know what they were for, but I liked the colors, and an idea starting forming. I thought I could cut and layer the foam and make some kind of wall art, or at the very least, something interesting to look at. The sheets are super cheap and even cheaper if you buy them in bulk online. Along with the shadow box frames, each piece costs about $30 to make! I scooped up a bunch of colors and headed back. I love how easy it is to work with the sheets (I've since learned that they are often used to make stamps). I'm pretty stoked how the pieces came out. Check out the process I used; it's super-duper easy and fun.
-foam sheets (I used about 13 sheets per piece)
-shadow box frame (I got 12" x 15" ones, half off I might add. I was pretty proud of my thrify find.)
-X-Acto blade
-cutting board (optional)
Step One: First thing I had to do was cut the foam sheet down to fit the frame I was going to use. Then I carefully drew the shape on the first sheet, which I chose to be white. I made sure to allow a bit of space around the "x" to serve as a visual border. After I had the "x" penciled in, I cut it out using the straightedge and X-Acto. Remember you can choose any simple shape your little heart desires for this project!
Step Two: After I had the initial shape cut out, it was just a matter of repeating that shape just a bit smaller for the next layer. I cut the next sheet down to fit the frame using the first one as a template.
Step Three: To get a uniform progression between layers, I cut a scrap piece of foam down to 3/8" wide then used that to make the lines for the next layer of foam. Once I had the next layer down traced, I cut it out. It was just a matter of repeating this over and over till I couldn't go any further. The number of layers that you end up with depends on the shape you choose as well as the width of the piece used to make the offset lines (the "o" was 13 layers and the "x" was only 8).
Pretty straightforward right? One tip that I'd like to stress is to keep your lines neat, and when you're tracing for the next layer down, make sure your sheets are lined up. Since you are tracing from one layer to another, mistakes are carried through. On the other hand, the repetitive mistake might end up looking kind of cool, so don't stress about it too much; it's all for fun anyways!
After you have all the layers cut, put them in the frame and hang. Since the foam is super light, the pieces don't end up being heavy at all. The layered foam looks great behind glass but was impossible to photograph without getting dumb ol' reflections; we need to employ a vampire who knows how to take photos!
Credits // Author: Joshua Rhodes. Photography: Joshua Rhodes and Laura Gummerman. Photos edited with A Beautiful Mess actions.
Way before I had ever read about Jay and Daisy, I was a little girl fascinated by flapper culture. I knew about those 1920s rebel-rousers from Saturday morning movies on TV—the grainy ones where nobody talked and the speed of the film seemed unnaturally fast. Those dark-lipped, gum-chewing gals wore old-fashioned dresses and danced the Charleston at light speed, making their swinging arms and legs impossible for me to mimic. (But that's never stopped me from trying!) It wasn't until I was much older that I learned that the style of the flapper was actually very daring for the time, and their bubble gum chewing and flirting just wasn't done by proper ladies. By the time I read The Great Gatsby in high school, my fascination with the era was complete.
I've always thought it would be fun to dress up as a flapper, but alas, I've never been invited to a 1920s party, and for Halloween, I was too busy being Mary Poppins or film noir characters to try out a flapper costume. But this year I finally did it! I found my inner Clara Bow and freaked out my husband when he thought I had chopped off all my hair. Check out how I did it below!
FLAPPER HEADBAND When I think of flapper accessories, I think of pearl beads. The more the merrier! You could also use a headscarf or turban for your flapper costume, but I decided on a simple pearl headband. I spent a few dollars on these supplies and assembled this headband in less than an hour.
-pearl beads (in size of your choice)
-feather clip
-sparkly barrette or brooch
-elastic cord (the thinner the better)
Step One: I cut out two lengths of elastic cord—one about 1" smaller than the circumference of my head, and the other 1/2 the circumference of my head. I knotted off 2/3 of the longer cord and strung the pearl beads onto it. Then I tied the ends together.
Step Two: I strung the smaller cord with more pearl beads and then tied the ends of it to the longer cord from the previous step. You may want to try on the headband to see where you want the pearl strands to be joined. You don't want any slack in either of the strands, or you will have beads falling into your eyes.
Step Three: I clipped the feather to the end of the longer strand of beads and topped it off with a sparkly crescent barrette. You could also use a brooch, or forego the bling.
FLAPPER DRESS 1920s dresses had dropped waists and straight silhouettes. Most "good girls" wore their skirts below their knees—but not the flapper! An authentic flapper dress would reveal knees and maybe even a portion of the thigh. I wanted fringe on my dress because that's what I think of when I envision flappers. So I began searching for a simple black dress and bought some fringe to add some flapper flare to it.
Step One: Find a black dress suitable for stitching on fringe. I wanted something sleeveless with a scoop neck, because that's what I usually saw in pictures of 1920s fashion, though more important than the neckline is the shape of the dress. Look for something loose fitting (like a shift or drop-waist style) for a period-specific shape. Woven material is better for stitching on the fringe, though I ended up using a knit dress and it worked out just fine. I found my black drop-waist dress on clearance this week at Old Navy for $12.
Step Two: Tweak the dress. I cut off length from this dress so that it covered my tush, but would allow the fringe to move about below the dress hem. Starting at the bottom of the dress, I pinned the fringe around the circumference of the dress, leaving about 2-4" scrap at the end. Why did I leave scrap? Because I was working with a knit dress, I slightly stretched the material as I stitched, which meant I used more fringe than it looked like I would when pinning it.
Note: The dress took me about an hour from beginning to end, and I will warn you— fringe is rather expensive by the yard at Joann, and I used 7 yards! So you may want to buy it for less here on Amazon, use a store coupon, or else just do 2-3 rows of fringe at the bottom of the dress, instead of all over.
FLAPPER HAIR & MAKEUP Even if you couldn't find the perfect dress, and your only accessories are pearl beads, you can pull off a flapper style with makeup and a hairdo worthy of a silent movie starlet.
-brows: Keep them long, thin and straight. I didn't want to pluck my eyebrows thin, but I used a sharp pencil to draw a long line down the middle.
-eyes: Use very dark eyeshadow and smoky eyeliner above and below your eyes to give them the soft, romantic look of the day.
-cheeks: Skip the bronzer and go for a light, powdery finish on your face with a pinky blush right at the apples of your cheeks.
-lips: Cover your lips with foundation to disguise their natural shape. Use a dark lip pencil to redraw them in a heart shape, focusing on creating a dramatically sharp cupid's bow (the "v" in the middle of your top lip), and a plump bottom lip only in the middle, then thinning their shape at the edges. Fill in the lips with the pencil then cover with lipstick and set with powder.
When considering what flapper 'do to go for, just remember—there are more options than you might think! Louise Brooks, the quintessential flapper, had a sleek, straight bob with short blunt bangs, while other flappers had chin-length frizzy curls, or finger waves set close to the face, or even long hair pinned around the base of the neck to simulate a bob style. If you need easy tips for creating a period-accurate style, I'd say stick to chin length hair, deep parts, and for straight hair styles, a dramatic curl at each cheekbone.
My hair is fairly long, but I created a faux bob inspired by Clara Bow. Check out how I did it below.
Step One: Pull up the top half of your hair into a clip, and braid the bottom half.
Step Two: Wrap the braid in a circle at the base of your head, pinning it into place.
Step Three: Use thin curlers (or good ol' Hot Sticks) on the top of your hair to create frizzy curls à la Clara Bow.
Step Four: Curl your bangs (I made waves with a curling iron), put on your headband, and take the curlers out.
Step Five: Spray your hair generously with hair spray and fluff it up with a brush. Spray again.
Step Six: Pin the length of your hair in small sections into the braid bun at the base of your neck. Set with more hair spray.
Tips: To make the style last longer, use mousse or a setting cream before curling your hair. You may want to bring some bobby pins with you in case your style begins coming loose, as mine did in the wind.
I finished off my flapper look with black fishnet tights from Target, simple black pumps I already owned, and from the costume store, a long strand of pearl beads and white gloves.
Since Halloween is often pretty chilly here in the Midwest, I thought I'd wear this vintage faux fur coat I had bought a few years ago. I think it fits with the look, don't you? It couldn't be warmer!
If I had lived during prohibition, I'm quite certain I would have been a goody-two-shoes, and definitely not a flapper. But for one evening out of the year? It's a character I can really get into. Now where's my bottle of moonshine? -Mandi
Credits // Author and Photography: Mandi Johnson. Photos edited with Stella from the Signature Collection and Pearl from the Fresh Collection.