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BOFH: Who's been naughty and who's been nice?
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the workplace, Not a creature was stirring, not even a cobbled-together robot, fashioned from the remaining pieces of several other cobbled-together robots. Dressed in an elf suit. Two stockings are hung by the Boss' door with care, In the hopes that a bonus cheque soon …
It could only end
in tears
Hadn't used the halon in a while, had he.
Merry christmas
to your elf
'kin brilliant!
Excellent festive theme, nice work!
Couldn't have said it better myself, so I'll just repeat..
Fucking Brilliant :D
It is..
Friday and BOFH is here....splendid.
Wow, just wow.
Excellent stuff.
Merry Christmas
BOFH is verse? Must be that time of year again.
Merry Chrimbo, to one and all.
Seasons Greetings
Happy BOFHmas
Gold *
Top notch!
I feel the Christmas spirit.
Bggr the beancounters...
There's nowt like a bit of larceny to bring a little festive cheer!
The murder is merely a nice little bonus.
Merry Christmas Y'all - don't do anything I wouldn't do. >;-)
Why the censorship?
Great made me chuckle, But why censor Sh*t and not Fuck-all?
censorship? what's that?
They show uncensored here, must be your merkin lawyers demanding sanitising scripts.
Shows up okay here too
So unless they've changed the actual story text, it's some outside influence tampering with El Reg as it gets sent to your computer (or as it's displayed)!
Fuck-All won't be censored for the same reason that Scunthorpe isn't censored; it's part of a word. Fuck would be, though (that was typed uncensored).
Not Censored At All.
I am in Las Vegas and it is uncensored here. You likely have a web filter editing for you.
BOFH Rules
I love the BOFH :)
Nice one Simon lol
Top marks, nicely done. Nothing says Christmas like a little halon.
Absolutely fantasic
Best christmas present yet. Have a great one yourself!
Crimbo will never be the same again!
Without a doubt the finest bit of poetry I've read in many years
Love it!
Merry Friday/Chrismas, Simon
such a lovely christmas tale for this time of year. And it rhymes, which is also nice.
I may read that to the kids later. Don't want them becoming an accountant do we, and they are never to young to learn.
Sir! I salute you....Fantastic !
Just utter utter Genius!
Lovely, lovely, lovely
Made my day - 7:22 AM in NYC and getting ready for Friday. I'll smile (menacingly) all day.
stuff indeed.
Almost makes me regret.....
being retired and missing the joys of the lusers - ALMOST!
How cruel, Simon!
I know the economy is tight, but axing your staff at Christmas is nothing short of sheer horror!
Can I borrow "Santa Elf"? There's a data center in Denver that could use a little of that Christmas cheer after us telecommuters found out we're being cut back to 18 hours a week because we overhired and don't want to lay off too many staff just in case our work production comes back.
Absolutely fantastic...
Beancounters + Droid = <fun> <excitement>
Ho ho ho
Merry Christmas
Bloody brilliant
title says it all.
well done!
After a rough week in the trenches there's nothing better than some holiday cheer, BOFH style, to brighten up a friday morning.
Fantastic - have a beer
Fantastic writing and here's a big cheer, BOFH is the best, on me here's a beer!
Love it
Best part of a Friday!
I love...
...the (faintly sweet) smell of Halon on the morning...!
Ah, halon
The gift that goes on giving.
Happy Christmas one and all.
Festive cheer
Twas the week before Xmas, and all through the cubes
Came the sound of employees looking for lubes
The bonus in theory was promised, but then
The call came "Bend over, here it comes again"
Ah, warm fuzzies
Excellent work, keep em coming!
That was awesome, simply brilliant!
Ode to Simon
Fearing a boring friday afternoon, I shivered,
Quickly checked El Reg, and by golly, Simon Delivered!
Boredom no more, I can happily lgo home to the wife
To celebrate weekend, and enjoy a pint or five.
Merry christmas to all.
Nice one
May everything you wish for be delivered to whoever you wish it on
Ho ho ho
Aah, Christmas Carols!
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
Glad tasers we bring
And grenades without pins
We wish you a Christmassacre
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
Now bring us all your bosses
Now bring us all your bosses
And bring them out here
For we hate the boss's guts
For we hate the boss's guts
For we hate the boss's guts
So bring them out here
And we won't go until we've got some
And we won't go until we've got some
And we won't go until we've got some
So bring them out here
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
With a chainsaw out here
Glad choppings we bring
And beancounter suff'ring
We wish you a Christmassaaaaacrrrrre....
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
(The beer icon, why else? ;)
Holy crap.
Your awesome.
Srsly! XD
That was a bit scary...
... but totally loved it.
Besides, this is the best use to 125cc two-stroke engines than pooting along in scooters. What's the name again? The one with bright orange motor case?
Once in...
Once in disloyal Simon's cube
Stood a lowly cattle prod
Used on Boss, and PFY and users
To achieve his dev'lish job
That cattle prod gave voltage high
"JESUS CHRIST!" was the shout before they fried
Can't wait for New Years...
When the transfer test will be complete. Maybe a vacation in the Cayman Islands to greet the banker in person.
Cheer to all as the year comes to an end.
Is it just me..
I thought that Halon systems could no longer be recharged under EU rules - so now it's discharged, that's the last we'll ever see of it? Not that it wasn't used for the best possible purpose though...
Not just you
... But surely the BOFH will find an "alternate" supplier of Halon from a supplier operating out of a warehouse in a former Soviet Bloc country that has a stash of Halon. Cost-cutting measures, you see.
Bonus if one tank is "accidentally" filled with nerve gas instead of Halon due to a mix up on the order paperwork.
Do you work in HR?
Ah, ok, stand over here, please.....
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subset: commoncrawl


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It's official! I've been commissioned to be the National Honorary Chairperson for SAMHSA 2012 National #Wellness Week 9/17-23. With this honor, the Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), commissioned me to write a poem for the…
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Catch of the Day Nodes
Catch of the Day
- Backcountry Rainbow
- Minnesota Musky
- Lifetime Steelhead
- Swedish Salmon
- Lake Erie Steelhead
- Sight Fished Striper
- Big Hole Brown
- Holter Lake Brown Trout
- Oregon Steel
- Oswego Brown Trout
- Big Brown Off Kola Peninsula
- North Platte Rainbow
- Nova Scotia Striper
- Ontario Chrome
- Skeena Steel
- Monster Kenai Rainbow
- First Chinook of the Year
- Tierra del Fuego Sea Run Brown
- Rojo Grande
- Welcome to the Two Foot Club
- Downtown Denver Mirror Carp
- Giant Marble Trout
- Mission Lake Rainbow
- Idaho Steelhead
- Salmon River Steelhead
- Patagonia Brown Trout
- Monster Striped Bass
- New York Steelhead
- Truckee River Brown Trout
- Big Hole Brown
Beautiful Patagonian Brown
Aldo Campusano of Santiago, Chile sends us this picture of a huge brown trout caught in the Cerro Castillo area, Chilean Patagonia. Aldo is head-to-toe in Simms, including G3 Guide Waders, Freestone® boots, WINDSTOPPER® Softshell Jacket, Rivertek Zip-Top and his lucky Simms hat. Good thing he had Simms gear on: "It was a rainy day, but no problem with my Simms gear."


text:
Online dating brings singles together who may never otherwise meet. It's a big world and the SeniorPeopleMeet.com community wants to help you connect with singles in your area. Whether you are seeking just a date, a pen pal, a casual or a serious relationship, you can meet singles in Hawaii today! Hawaii is known as the "Aloha State" and SeniorPeopleMeet.com is here to bring their Senior Singles together.Search Single Senior Men in Hawaii | Search Single Senior Women in Hawaii
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Emma Watson teams up with People Tree to launch clothing line
Rumours were flying around that Emma Watson was designing a clothing collection and we've finally found out that the stories are true, sort of. The young Harry Potter star is collaborating with ethical retailer People Tree on a range of clothing, which is a busier gap year than most people manage!
Set for release early next year the People Tree Love Emma collab will be aimed at teenagers and young adults. Influences include festival culture, the south of France and London it promises to be a fun and wearable collection. The clothes will all be Fair Trade and organic, and pieces will include poplin skirts, jersey dresses and shorts.


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Pipeline to Politics is a biennial event. This year's program will be held in partnership with The Journal Record's Woman of the Year Gala and Forum in October of 2011. The Women's Leadership Initiative will be featured as part of the Woman of the Year's daytime forum which will focus on empowering women for social and civic engagement. N.E.W. Leadership has been continually honored at the Woman of the Year Gala as a Program Making a Difference. Please visit http://www.journalrecord.com/events.cfm to purchase tickets or get more information.
Pipeline to Politics serves women who are beyond college and/or in the workforce and interested in stepping up their political and civic engagement…whether that means running for office, working on a campaign, or becoming more involved in community-based issues and organizations.
The Center will launch a partnership with the Girl Scouts Western Oklahoma, Inc. called Girl's Voices. This effort will be designed to encourage, educate, and empower girls to discover and use their voices to positively impact their lives, their schools, and their communities.
The Women's Leadership initiative has been chosen by a national partner to lead The Appointments Project (TAP). This project will work with Oklahoma's new governor to ensure more women are appointed to these high-level and powerful posts. TAP is a non-partisan effort to bring parity to decision-making bodies by identifying qualified women to serve, collecting applications and working closely with the new governor through the initial appointments process and throughout the governor's term in office.


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Club competitions
National team competitions
19-20, 5-24, 27-16, 23-17
Rares Mandache made five three-pointers from five attempts to help Romania beat Bulgaria 77-74 on the road in their EuroBasket 2015 1st Qualification Round clash on Saturday.
Romania remain bottom of Group A despite their first win in the competition, having lost both of their first two contests.
They now hold a 1-2 record while Iceland have won once and lost once ahead of their home tie against Bulgaria, now at 2-1, on Tuesday.
Romania looked no slouches in the early stages and after a first period that swung both ways, they surged into a 35-21 lead in the second quarter behind a 9-0 run sparked by a Brice Kabengele jump shot.
The lead reached 22 (46-24) in the first minute of the second half as Mandache connected on a two and three-point jump shot either side of the break to cap another 7-0 sequence.
But Bulgaria battled back. The hosts outscored their opponents 27-16 in the third quarter to bring them back into contention before five straight points from forward Kalojan Ivanov tied things up at 64 with four minutes to play.
However, as was a theme throughout, Mandache made another when it mattered, responding with a big three-pointer to re-establish the lead and puncture Bulgaria's spirit.
This triple took his personal tally to 23 and gave Romania the lift they needed to see out the final stages and hold on for their first win.
Bulgaria's Branko Mirkovich led all scorers with 26 while his teammate Ivanov added 10 points and 10 rebounds and Mihai Silvasan added 21 for Romania.
Bulgaria Player Ivan Lilov"We played very bad in the first half and lost the game there. Giving up 44 points for one half is too much, for which our defence is to blame. I hope in Iceland we will show the same spirit and level as we did in the second half. We are going there only for the win.
Romania Head Coach Marcel Tenter"We met a good team today, Bulgaria is very strong and we are very happy that we won. We played safe in the first two quarters, and made a lot of shots. We are very happy, but we need to stay focused. We will fight to the end of the qualifications, we need to get better with every game."
Branko Mirkovic
Mihai Silvasan


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Spike, Jake, Christine and Ben can't stop cheering for their team. Plus: Justin Timberlake & Jimmy Fallon, Scarlett Johansson, Justin Bieber and more
Credit: Kevin Mazur/WireImage
Published: Wednesday Apr 24, 2013 | 07:30 PM EDT
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Can we be in on the joke? Amy Poehler gets sandwiched between two of our favorite funnymen – Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake – while cracking up at the TIME 100 Gala in New York City Tuesday night.
Copyright © 2014 Time Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


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Google may be working on a digital newsstand for Android devices
Major publishers like Time Inc., Conde Nast, and Hearst Corporation have been approached, though the Journal notes that media executives who have spoken with Google say details are very vague at the moment -- as is an actual timetable. In order to entice publishers, Google has apparently offered to take a smaller cut than Apple's 30% and also to offer "certain personal data" about app buyers to publishers.
So far, Google has stated only that "we've consistently said we're talking with publishers about ways we can work together, including whether we can help them with technology for subscription services," and that there is "nothing specific to announce at this time."


text:
Delivery Schedule
1 Percent offers Free UPS Ground Shipping on Continental US orders $75. Include complete and accurate billing and shipping information (apt #'s too) to avoid any verification delays. Ground shipping transit times included on the map (does not include PO Boxes or International)
Certain smaller items (Papers, rolling machines, parts, bats, etc.) can also ship by USPS Priority Mail. USPS Priority Mail is insured with Delivery Confirmation (almost tracking) and usually arrives within 2-3 days for the lower 48 states and a few more days for Hawaii, Alaska and Puerto Rico. If this option is available it will be presented in your shopping cart. When choosing Priority Mail, please be sure that any shipping address entered is USPS friendly. Free USPS Priority Mail shipping is also available if the item(s) in your cart qualify and you have crossed the threshold of $75.


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Starshine Roshell Photo: Jackie Sallow Photography
Dear Starshine,
I began dating someone — we'll call him J — in May 2012. We were on and off all summer and fall trying to figure out what we wanted in a relationship, and finally ended up together. Then I saw a text from another girl (M) indicating he had slept with her. He didn't deny it, but because it happened during an "off" period, I let it go. A few months later, I discovered that he still had naked pictures of her on his phone — even after we had decided to be a couple. I felt stupid, disgusting, and used. We're no longer together for lots of reasons — but I found out that M has a long-term boyfriend (S) who doesn't know about any of this, which brings me to my question: Should I be a good person and tell S that his girlfriend cheated on him, or be a good person and keep my mouth shut — even though I'm innocent in this and was the one who ended up getting hurt? I don't personally know them, but have contact info for both. Do I tell him? Do I tell her that I know and that if she doesn't tell him, I will? Or do I stay out of it and let S continue wasting his time with a trashy skank?
Ooh, and you almost had me, too. So close! I thought you might be genuinely concerned about the emotional welfare of poor, cuckolded, blind-sided S. You were innocent. You were stupid, disgusting, and used. You were eager only to spare this guy the heartache that you suffered by arming him with the facts surrounding his faithless, er, photogenic sweetheart. The truth shall set him free, knowledge is power and all that.
But then "trashy skank" tumbled out of your still-fuming face at the last possible minute — and the jig was up. Darling, this ain't humanitarianism. This isn't about protecting your fellow forlorn fool-for-love. This is revenge, pure and unattractive. You want to make sure nude-photo lady can't have two guys when you can't have even one.
So, yeah. Go for it. Call up a stranger and try to sound like a reasonable, even charitable person while telling him that his girlfriend is a slut and that she slept with your man, whom you are no longer dating in part because he likes the way she looks naked. (Is anyone else hearing Ross on Friends tell Rachel, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"?)
Just promise me one thing: Once you make this gotcha call, you'll stop referring to yourself as "innocent." You lie down with dogs, you get up with trashy skanks.
Send me your dilemmas via email: firstname.lastname@example.com. And follow me on Twitter: @ToughLoveAdvice.
Starshine Roshell is an award-winning California journalist, travel writer, and overwhelmed mother of two. Named for a song in the rock musical Hair, she grew up in Los Angeles on soap opera sets and in Sunset Strip nightclubs. A former news reporter and rock music critic, Starshine is the author of Keep Your Skirt On and Wife on the Edge. Like you, she's been through some stuff. And she hasn't got it all figured out — but let's be honest: It's easier to solve other people's problems than your own. Send Starshine your dilemmas via email: firstname.lastname@example.com.
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Indigo Signworks is a complete full-service sign company that designs, sells, fabricates, installs and services signs.At Indigo Signworks, Inc. we build more than just a great sign, we build long-term customer relations. Our state-of-the-art manufacturing plant, dedicated team of craftsmen, and large install fleet, located geographically across North Dakota and Minnesota, enables us to provide a level of service others are not capable of. We have the largest staff of any sign company in the area, with headquarters in Fargo and offices in Bismarck, Grand Forks, and Minot, ND and Alexandria and St. Cloud, MN. Our products are fabricated in Fargo and Minot, ND and our installation and maintenance crews cover the upper Midwest states including North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota and Eastern Montana.
ST. CLOUD, MN – Indigo Signworks is proud to announce the purchase of 44 Sign Company in St. Cloud, MN. 44 Sign Company is a St. Cloud based, family owned, full-service sign and large format graphics company established in 2010. Indigo Signworks welcomes Kevin Johnson, owner of 44 Sign Company, his sign-world expertise and 27 plus years of customer service, to join the sales staff in St. Cloud. This merger will create an Express Graphics division at the St. Cloud office, utilizing the knowledge-base and equipment coming over to our St. Cloud office.
Indigo Signworks CEO, Bernie Dardis said, "The merger of 44 Sign Company and Indigo Signworks is a great opportunity to bring together two very talented, experienced sign professional teams into one organization. We are honored to have Kevin Johnson join our company. His dedication and passion for the sign industry and for the business community of St. Cloud and Sauk Rapids is an inspiration to our team."
Kevin Johnson said, "From the start of my career in the early 80's I have been focused on customer service and exceeding expectations. In 2010 when I started 44 Sign Company, one of my goals was to be the best known and respected sign and graphics company in central Minnesota. I am proud to say that this goal has been achieved by the merger of 44 Sign Company with Indigo Signworks. The name 44 Sign Company came from a motto of mine "Forward Always Forward," and this merger is a significant step forward."


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Holiday On Ice
Best Ice Skating In Charlotte
Winter brings thoughts of gliding along a cold surface with a cool wind blowing through your hair. Charlotte has several options for skating, including one outdoor rink during the month of December.
Best Holiday Celebrations In Charlotte
Christmas is a busy time for all, but take time away from the shopping rush to make memories with your family at these festive annual events.


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The authority for sports coverage in the Fredericksburg region.
College recruiters aim to get 'em while they're young
Clemson football coach Dabo Swinney has one rule when determining if a high school player is old enough to receive a scholarship offer from the Tigers.
"I think they should be driving first," the coach quipped at Atlantic Coast Conference's recent media day.
But talented underclassmen—including two rising juniors from Spotsylvania County—are testing Swinney's beliefs.
Chancellor offensive lineman Steven Moss has 13 Division I scholarship offers, including one from Clemson. Massaponax defensive end Vinny Mihota orally committed to Virginia Tech in April.
Moss and Mihota are part of a nationwide trend of players receiving scholarship offers much earlier than normal.
Last week, the University of Washington accepted a commitment from 14-year-old quarterback Tate Martell, and LSU reportedly offered a scholarship to Dylan Moses, a rising eighth-grader who stands 6 feet and weighs 205 pounds.
"It used to be in the '90s, I'd go out and evaluate the upcoming seniors, and you'd spend the season trying to decide which one you wanted to offer," Swinney said. "You'd offer them in December, bring them in in January and figure out which one you're going to get, and you never knew until signing day. Well, all that's changed. Now when you go out in May, you're looking for rising juniors."
Moss and Mihota are two players to watch in the Fredericksburg area this season as several schools begin practice today.
They met as teammates on a youth soccer team. Looking at them now, it may be difficult to tell they excelled in that sport.
Mihota now stands 6-foot-4 and weighs 250 pounds. But at one point he was a swift midfielder. Moss is 6-foot-5 and 275 pounds.
"He was the big ol' goalie who wouldn't let much by him," Mihota recalled. "We played on an undefeated team for three or four years straight."
Even while playing soccer, the pair's conversations often turned to football. They talked about playing for different Spotsylvania County middle schools, where both starred as running backs.
When they arrived at Chancellor and Massaponax, both were placed on the line of scrimmage. They faced off last September as Massaponax defeated Chancellor 40–18.
"I think it was even in my opinion, but he got me on the swim moves," Moss said of his battles with Mihota. "I actually didn't remember that he was on my soccer team, but I was like 'Man, he's kind of good.'"
Mihota thought he fared well against Moss.
So when the scholarship offers began to pour in for Moss, Mihota took notice. He had no offers at the time, so he decided to send film of his matchup with Moss to Virginia Tech defensive coordinator Bud Foster.
Mihota received a scholarship offer from Virginia Tech soon thereafter. Two days later, he committed to the Hokies. He can't sign an official letter of intent until February 2014.
"I saw Tech and the way they ran their program, and it looked great to me," said Mihota, whose brother, Anthony, was the starting center at Virginia for two seasons. "I saw no reason to wait around for more offers. I just decided to take a load off and relax with it."
Mihota and Moss will meet again on Aug. 31. Mihota said he hopes he's matched up with Moss the entire game.
"I'm left end. He's right tackle. It's perfect," Mihota said. "I wouldn't want it any other way."
Mihota was proactive in his recruitment by sending out film of his matchup with Moss.
Assistant coach Chris Lam serves as Chancellor's recruiting coordinator. He sends out mass emails of video clips of his players to as many college coaches as possible.
Mihota said perhaps the proactive approach helped him and Moss receive so much early attention.
"I hope it's because we're that good," Mihota said of why they were offered scholarships as sophomores. "But I know we sent out tapes and took control of it. We were putting ourselves out there instead of waiting on a call."
Lam said a tweak in his approach to marketing his players has made his job easier. He said the adjustments helped Moss gain notice among college coaches, and it also aided rising senior safety Chris Holmes, who orally committed to N.C. State earlier this month after receiving 11 scholarship offers.
Lam said instead of copying DVDs and mailing them individually to coaches, he now posts film of his players on YouTube and emails the links to coaches across the country.
"YouTube is a huge recruiting tool," Lam said. "You don't have to spend money and time burning discs and mailing them out. You can contact coaches with the push of a button."
Lam said in previous years he was selective about where to send DVDs and transcripts, but now "I'll even send one to Arizona just because I can."
Lam said advances in technology have also helped.
He uses Hudl coaching software that allows him to download player highlights into a database each week. And whenever a player records a memorable play, he places the clip in a separate file to make a highlight reel.
"It's much easier than sitting in front of the TV with a DVD player and all of a sudden Steven makes a play and you have to write down that it was at 11 minutes, 20 seconds," Lam said. "Now on the computer, I click and drag it into a separate folder and his highlights build up as the season goes along."
Offering scholarships to sophomores can be risky, coaches said.
Swinney said if coaches spend too much time recruiting young players, they may miss out on a late-blooming upperclassman.
Chancellor head coach Bob Oliver said that while sophomores like Moss are physically imposing, there's no guarantee they have what it takes to be college student–athletes.
"I'm thinking to myself, 'He's not even taking hard junior, senior classes academic-wise, and these people, you name the university, if they've got film on him, they've been through to see him,'" Oliver said. "It's exciting for the kids, but it puts a little bit of added pressure on them."
Oliver said there's also the chance a player won't remain dedicated to high school success, especially if he makes an early college choice. He said he doesn't believe that will be the case with Moss because "he's seen the possibilities of what exists for him past high school."
"When some guys commit early, they're not as hungry as they were before because they're content with the offer," Moss said. "But you've got to stay hungry. You've got to go out there and keep hitting people."
Moss, who is known by his coaches and teammates for having a mean streak on the field, said he plans to wait until next spring before he begins to narrow his list of schools.
He visited Clemson and South Carolina recently. At Clemson, he spent plenty of time with Swinney and his wife, Kathleen.
Moss said when Clemson offered him a scholarship in the spring he had just received his driver's license.
Swinney commented to him that he was as big as some of his current players and that's making it difficult not to jump on the youngsters early on.
"He said recruiting is getting weirder and weirder," Moss recalled. "He told me, 'I offered you and you're only a sophomore. The next thing you know we'll be offering ninth-graders.'"
Taft Coghill Jr.: 540/374-5526
Permalink: http://news.fredericksburg.com/sports/2012/07/29/college-recruiters-aim-to-get-em-while-theyre-young/


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Resident of the Month Awards, initiated by Program Director Dr. Rosemarie Conigliaro in July 2013, honor Internal Medicine Residency Program interns and residents who have displayed exemplary service to patients, colleagues, and the Einstein/Montefiore educational mission.
Award winners receive a certificate of recognition and a textbook of their choice.
House staff nominations for the award can be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.com.
Thanks to all our conscientious and hard-working residents who take excellent care of patients daily. Einstein/Montefiore has an outstanding program because of their dedication and commitment to learning and to excellent patient care.
October 2014
Abigail Chua, MD, PGY-3, Firm
Dr. Chua completed medical school at University of
Pittsburgh School of Medicine.
"...(for a) complicated patient...I was very impressed with
Abby's leadership skills and clinical judgment, and how
masterfully she directed the team and coordinated the work-
"Dr. Chua is a dedicated and well respected member of the
team, always pleasant and receptive to staff, peers, patients,
family members...she is very clear that all of the patients'
needs are met and relays that information to the team."
"She is very caring and always attends to the needs of
patients and very respectful to the staff."
"Abigail...is passionate, caring, knowledgeable, and
extremely approachable. She always has a smile on her face and
can light up a room with a warmth and care you can feel. Her
patients always speak highly of her and she always handles
difficult situations with such grace and professionalism,
which is difficult to do on such a challenging floor. She is
indeed a RockNResident."
September 2014
Rehaan Shaffie, PGY-2,
Firm 3
Dr. Shaffie completed medical school at University of
Kansas School of Medicine.
"Rehaan...is calm and collected. He likes to educate, and
is respectful to patients and staff."
"Dr. Shaffie...(is) very respectful to staff and has great
interaction with patients and families."
"Rehaan has done an exceptional job on a floor known for
its extremely high turnover and challenging patients. He has
always communicated the goals, objectives, and priorities very
clearly, which made our jobs much easier. He has always made
himself available for help and questions. He has always
maintained a calm presence on the floors and provided us with
valuable insight regardless of how hectic the situation
was...I felt comfortable discussing problems with him and was
not afraid to ask for help when I judged a situation to
require more attention."
August 2014
Linda Wang, MD, PGY-2,
Firm 3
Dr. Wang completed medical school at Mount Sinai School of
"Linda cares deeply about her patients and works tirelessly
to ensure that they are receiving the best possible care. She
inspires those around her to do the same."
"Linda managed an incredibly busy floor, supported and
advocated for her interns and routinely stayed late to help
ensure that sick patients were appropriately cared for during
transitions. Her clinical reasoning and maturity were far
beyond what one might expect from a resident in the beginning
of her 2nd year. She was absolutely outstanding!"
"Smart, hard-working, humble, excellent fund of knowledge,
always evidence based, she is truly wonderful in every
July 2014
Maudry Laurent-Rolle, MD, PGY-2, Firm 2
Dr. Laurent-Rolle completed medical school at Mount Sinai School of Medicine.
"Maudry thought deeply about complex cases. She formed a very nice relationship with patients and families...She even did extra research that was useful to augment the treatment plan for the patient."
There were many nominations this month, attesting to the great teamwork and patient care that residents provide to patients at both campuses. Special recognition goes to the following residents:
June 2014
Jessica Pacifico, MD, PGY-3, Firm 1
Dr. Pacifico completed medical school at SUNY Downstate Medical Center.
"Jessica's care of several new young patients in clinic who came to establish care in adult medicine for the first time was impressive. Jessica is a wonderfully dedicated and meticulous primary care doctor!"
Honorable mention this month goes to Drs. Dustin Pardo, Norman Roth, and Joseph Hong.
May 2014
Shlomo Kuperman, DO, PGY-1, Firm 2
Dr. Kuperman completed medical school in 2013 at SUNY Downstate, and his undergraduate degree in 2008 at Touro College. He is a member of the American Osteopathic Association (AOA).
"Shlomo has enormous talents which make him a superb clinician…a wealth of knowledge, impressive physical exam skills, advocates for his patients at every level, dedicates time to teaching students and co-interns. Shlomo's performance was superb this entire month."
"I feel honored to have had this opportunity to work with Shlomo. I nominate him for the following reasons--educator, excellent clinician, reliable, goes the extra mile for the team and for his patients, excellent human being."
April 2014
Daniel Morris, MD, PGY-3, Firm 3
Dr. Morris completed medical school in 2011 at University of Connecticut School of Medicine, and his undergraduate degree in 2007 at Brown University.
"Dan did an excellent job on the Blue team at Weiler by providing excellent supervision of the interns, displaying very good clinical knowledge and judgement and really patient-centered care.. Dan is smart and also eager to learn, with an easy-going manner and sense of humor."
Caroline Kwon, MD, PGY-3, Firm 2
Dr. Kwon completed medical school in 2011 at Eastern Virginia Medical School and her undergraduate degree in 2007 at Georgetown University.
"Caroline has been an outstanding resident. She has excellent clinical skills and medical knowledge. She shows maturity, efficiency and compassion towards her patients. She always volunteers to help other housestaff who are behind. She has consistency, humility and perseverance. She continues to learn and enjoys what she does."
March 2014
David Oh, MD, PGY-1, Firm 1
Dr. Oh received his medical degree from UMDNJ/New Jersey Medical School, and his undergraduate degree from Columbia University.
"(Dr. Oh) was amazingly good at very complex assessments...he managed to organize the chaotic record of (a complex patient) so clearly and so succinctly and so thoroughly and so intelligently...a real tour de force. This was not an isolated event. He showed the same qualities in all of his work."
Many residents were nominated this month, with numerous comments about their outstanding work. A special mention goes to Ricklie Julian, Minghao Liu, Bradley Klein, Lucy Torres, and Daniel Morris.
February 2014
Mary Gover, MD
Dr. Gover received her medical degree from Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, and her undergraduate degree from the University of Pennsylvania.
"...mature, eager to learn and a terrific job in supervising her team."
"Mary was insightful, supportive and a constant role model. She taught us often, using primary literature that was up to date and pertinent. She gave us the necessary independence to learn, while providing responsible oversight and guidance. When interacting with patients, she was able to show empathy and connect to patients, providing a goal to strive towards."
"Mary was such an asset to our team. She would approach us (the team) with questions about our patients in a nonthreatening way with many teaching points to give us and articles for reference...she is able to synthesize information so quickly and can use her knowledge to teach us...she is kind and supportive to all of the patients and always made them feel comfortable. She is the best resident I have ever seen!"
January 2014
Juan Manuel Schvartzman, MB/BChir, PhD
Dr. Schvartzman received a Ph.D. from the Weill Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences of Cornell University, and his undergraduate degree from the University of Cambridge, United Kingdom.
Juanma is a fantastic teacher and clinician. His medical knowledge is unparalleled. He is a charismatic leader and colleague and always goes the extra mile for his patients and his team."
"An intelligent and skilled clinician, Juanma is a prime example of what every physician-scientist aspires to be."
"Juanma Schvartzman was the BEST night resident ever!!! He always knows what to do right away and is always around to help us manage our patients. He is a great teacher of physical exam findings...."
Honorable Mention: January Blue Team (Weiler)
"An amazing group of people, truly devoted to the patients and their care. Each team member contributed their best and made patient care their highest priority."
December 2013
Corica Rodgers, MD, PGY-3, Firm 1
Dr. Rodgers received her medical degree from Howard University College of Medicine and her undergraduate degree from University of California, Irvine.
"She is an outstanding teacher, clinician, and role model."
"…incredibly hardworking and always goes the extra step to help the team out."
Honorable Mention: Nathan Favini, MD, PGY-2, Firm 3
Dr. Favini received his medical degree from Harvard Medical School and his undergraduate degree from Haverford College.
"Nate is very bright with an outstanding fund of knowledge and an intellectual curiosity not commonly seen in most residents.
He is very attentive to details re: patient care and provides close follow-up of his outpatients. He is mild-mannered and not ruffled by the many 'system
glitches' that occur in large institutions. He remains upbeat, which I believe his patients and colleagues sense from him; this makes all his interactions
positive ones...the quality that I most respect in Nate is his humility. He is an outstanding physician and colleague, yet he remains humble...he's a
superstar and a complete pleasure to work with."
November 2013
Jennifer Hirsch, MD, Intern, Firm 2
Dr. Hirsch received her medical degree from UMDNJ/New Jersey Medical School and her undergraduate degree from University of Pennsylvania.
"Outstanding teacher."
"[Dr. Hirsch] instilled...motivation to be a proactive medical student; her energy and intelligence inspired me every day. She was incredible."
Tania Kupferman, PGY-2, Firm 1
Dr. Kupferman received her medical degree from Tufts University School of Medicine and her undergraduate degree from Brandeis University.
"Tania took every opportunity to make a teaching point. Beautiful bedside manner. Greets every patient with a smile, demonstrates great patience. A great team player and brilliant clinician."
"Tania did an outstanding Job this month! She is very motivated and hard-working resident. She is a very conscientious resident. Showed an excellent fund of knowledge and a willingness to go beyond the usual role."
October 2013
Yan Yan (Sally) Xie, MD, PGY3, Firm 2
Dr. Xie received her medical degree from the Stony Brook University (SUNY) and her undergraduate degree from Cornell University.
"Sally was our night resident and I was so impressed by her calm, confident demeanor, her positive attitude, and her impressive handling of many complicated situations (including 2 consecutive codes). She seems totally unflappable, and fully deserves the confidence she projects. She was a total pleasure to work with."
"Compassionate, thorough, responsible knowledgeable [she answered my questions on pathophysiology better than anyone else on the team], she handled complex family and social relationships with a unique grace. She performed at the highest level that I can remember in my years here. The wife of a patient of mine was particularly complimentary of her for care and attention given when she changed to night coverage."
Honorable Mention
Yellow Team: Xia Chen, Vikram Sengupta, Andrew Lipsky, Jacob Esquenazi, Ainie Soetanto and Jeremy Wertman (Oral Surgery resident on rotation).
Recent feedback of the Internal Medicine Residency Program's Yellow Team described its members as "hardworking, smart, efficient, caring, compassionate...not one person that is better than the other. Although we had a very busy month, they are enthusiastic every morning and display patient-centered care every day. They volunteered to take a young man newly diagnosed with gastric cancer who has been here for more than 10 days out for a walk daily because the patient was getting depressed and needed fresh air. What also impresses me about this team is that the night and the day team work cohesively as a team and everyone takes ownership of the patients."
September 2013
Martha (Catherine) Trimbur, MD, PGY2, Firm 3
Dr. Trimbur received her medical degree from the University of Rochester School of Medicine & Dentistry in 2012, and her undergraduate degree from Brown University in 2003. Additionally, she completed postgraduate work at Harvard University (2005) and a MPH at Columbia University in 2007.
"Dr. Trimbur is an exemplary resident. She is always on top of patient care...She makes every patient feel right at home and content with the level of medical care."Dr
August 2013
Scott Schafler, MD, PGY2, Firm 3
Dr. Schafler received his medical degree from Rutgers/Robert Wood Johnson Medical School (formerly known as UMDNJ - Robert Wood Johnson Medical School) in 2012, and his undergraduate degree from Rutgers University in 2007.
"[Dr. Schafler is] unbelievable! His fund of knowledge and clinical judgment is nearly at attending level! His enthusiasm is that of a medical student who put on a stethoscope for the first time. His exam skills are second only to Jerry Paccione. He's kind and empathetic to his patients. Despite all this he is so humble, polite and eager to receive constructive criticism. I feel lucky that I got to work with him."
July 2013
Rebecca Braunstein, MD, PGY2, Firm 1
Dr. Braunstein received her medical degree from Albert Einstein College of Medicine in 2012, and her undergraduate degree from University of Pennsylvania in 2008.
"[Dr. Braunstein] has been absolutely the most patient person. We have a very busy service and she never loses her cool when the day gets busy...She is also a very good teacher to our med students...."
Thursday, December 04, 2014
Digital Disease Detection: Current Capabilities and Future Directions in the Use of the Non-Traditional Data Sources for Public Health Surveillance and Rapid Detection of Emerging Infectious Disease
John Samuel Brownstein, PhD
8:00 AM: 3rd Floor Lecture Hall
House Staff Conference Schedule
Einstein & Moses Campus Calendar
Rosemarie Conigliaro, M.D.(718) email@example.com
Education Administrator
Anna Manca718 firstname.lastname@example.com
Internal Medicine Residency ProgramAlbert Einstein College of MedicineMontefiore Medical Center111 East 210th StreetBronx, New York 10467
more info


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A newborn won't be able to actively participate in holiday festivities, but she will be captivated by the bright colors, sparkling lights, and music of the season.
She can see only things that are about 8 to 14 inches from her eyes, so hold her up to gaze at the blinking lights of a Christmas tree or the flickering flames of menorah candles, or lay a soft mat on the floor near the tree for a baby's-eye view of the decorations.
By 1 month, your baby will be transfixed by almost anything you pass in front of her eyes; try dangling a brightly colored, unbreakable ornament close to her face. Young babies also love to be touched, held, and cooed and smiled at; 'tis the season to share plenty of affection with her.
As your child's senses continue to develop, she will feast on the sounds and sights of the season as she absorbs the world around her.
Of course, she's still too young to understand what the holidays are all about. But it's never too early to start your own family traditions, whether that means driving around the neighborhood to look at the sparkling lights, lighting Hanukkah candles, reading aloud from a favorite Kwanzaa book, or listening to Christmas carols.
For all the joy, the holiday season can also present some special challenges for your baby. Keeping her developmental stage and temperament in mind can help you both avoid problems and handle them with aplomb when they occur. A few troubleshooting tips you might find helpful:


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Rosie Pope is a bit shocked to learn that sometimes her husband doesn't know what she's saying. Premieres May 15 @ 10/9c.
Rosie Pope presents a 'tiger mom' with two options to raise a child and has doubts on which one she prefers.
Rosie Pope needs to set a goal for her client to discipline her daughter.
Rosie Pope has a few tricks up her sleeve to sleep train a six-year-old.
Rosie Pope's clients simply cannot put their 3-year-old to bed.
Rosie Pope meets an expectant mom who is clearly the dominant one in the relationship.
Rosie Pope confronts her issues about her own mother as she prepares to have a daughter of her own.


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Before the Condo Pets EP, it had been a relatively quiet year for the otherwise prolific James Ferraro. Aside from an appearance on the seventh entry in the FRKWYS series (along with the likes of Laurel Halo and Daniel Lopatin) as well as reissues of his two big 2010 LPs (On Air and Night Dolls with Hairspray), Ferraro had only offered fans a vague press release announcing the forthcoming release of his Far Side Virtual full-length (in addition to, um, facial reconstruction surgery to look more like Princess Diana). Ferraro, like Sean McCann and the Emeralds dudes, is one of those guys that usually releases music at the frequency with which you or I might, say, go grocery shopping or update iTunes. As expected of an artist with such rapid-fire output, not every new work is a masterpiece; that said, Ferraro—whether recording under James or Jim—has been a reliable source of warped, lo-fi neo-retro-pop for some time now.
So imagine my surprise when I pressed play on Condo Pets and was greeted not with hazy static but rather a crystal-clear drum machine mimicking the popping sound one might expect from a song called "Text Bubbles." Before long, a pat melody is in place, aided by sitcom-holiday-special strings and a distinct lack of helium-enhanced vocals. Indeed, the entire EP—all 16 minutes of it—takes this pattern, merging simple rhythmic textures (think woodblocks and sleigh bells) with quirky orchestral accents like the synth-generated horns of "The Secret World of Condo Pets," the artificial choir (accompanying the sound of thrift-store party blowers) on "Eco-Tot," and the Peanuts-esque piano chords of "Life in a Day." More than a self-sufficient collection of fully realized songs, the Condo Pets EP seems like a collection of ideas that Ferraro plans to put to greater use soon; over the course of these seven songs, one gets the impression that he's still figuring out how to operate without the misty aid of lo-fi production. One of the songs here is called "Find Out What's On Carrie Bradshaw's iPod," and he's not kidding; much of the EP could serve as incidental music for some Sex and the City gadget-shopping-spree montage.
But if Condo Pets is the unexpected appetizer, then Far Side Virtual is the delicious entree, seemingly aiming at being the music that future bedroom pop stars will seek to recreate with hypnagogic wonder. It asserts the themes at which Condo Pets only hinted; its fascination with the most recognizable markers of contemporary consumerism manifests itself in its uncharacteristically clear transmission. We get snippets of imagined 90s computer program dialogue in which a digital waiter takes our sushi order, a robotic woman spelling out "D-I-S-N-E-Y," mentions of technologies like the "iTablet," and text-message-received bleeps and bloops familiar to anyone with iChat or a smartphone. And that's not to mention the track titles that reference everything from Pixar and Apple laptops to fro-yo, solar panels, Starbucks, and "Dr. Seussism."
There's no hidden pop gems here like there were on, say, Night Dolls, and this phase of Ferraro's career still seems very much like a work in progress. But I still give him a lot of credit for attempting to extend the "h-pop" hypothesis to current technology (as opposed to the analog remembrances of the 1980s that predate many of the genre's most eager participants. And Ferraro's index of instruments is a marvel to behold: gleefully artificial sitars like you might hear soundtracking a desert course in Mario Kart, infomercial orchestration that charms rather than overwhelms, smooth saxophones, resounding piano notes, and an optimistically uptempo panoply of beats and rhythms. Best of all, the LP is just as sleek as the Condo Pets EP. It's clear that Ferraro spent a lot of time—and, presumably, money—committing these songs to tape (hard drive?), and he explores his new aural capabilities like a kid at a toy store with a blank check in hand. Check out the ephemeral finger snaps that wind in and out of time signatures on "Bags" or the synth choirs/monster-truck-commercial guitar riffs on "Palm Trees, Wi-Fi and Dream Sushi." The latter song also reminds us: "Richard Branson's avatar sells hello." I suddenly have the urge to create a metropolis in SimCity before destroying it with an arm of UFOs and neon-colored tornadoes.
While James Ferraro is hardly the first artist to explore the future-recent-past-isms as reflected in pop and r&b music, he's the first to do so in this way. The clear production suggests an advancement in recording technology that runs parallel to the gizmos and tech companies with which he saturates these two releases. And without the aid of his voice, we're forced to focus on the sounds themselves; what they mean, what they connote, and what they remind us of. Condo Pets and especially Far Side Virtual sound unprecedentedly polished, and while that could have resulted in disaster for Mr. Smoky Teen Haze himself, it turns out that Ferraro has much more to say than just "remember how awesome VHS tapes were?" Now the focus is more likely to be on Blu-Ray discs than any kind of cassette, but that's okay; somebody has to be the stenographer of our wireless modern lives.
Last year's reissue of his Last American Hero opus depicted a Best Buy on the cover. Now it seems Ferraro has finally wandered inside, and we can only hope that he sticks around for a while. There's a whole new world ready to be excavated through these cultural signifiers, and if you call now, we'll throw in a complimentary no-stick utensil set—a twenty dollar value, yours free!
Condo Pets: 7/10, Far Side Virtual: 9/10


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Finance Buddy was created as a resource to help you with your financial planning. Designed using a multitude of financial calculators, you can run your budget through Finance Buddy's tools to get estimates on just about any financial situation you find yourself in.
Do you need help calculating your mortgage, finding an auto loan, saving for college or even saving for retirement? Finance Buddy has tools to assist you with every aspect of your financial planning and budgeting. Finance Buddy also offers expert advice on a variety of financial topics as well as links to other useful financial information and tools.
Finance Buddy is your one-stop-shop for calculating your financial future. No matter what financial undertaking you need assistance with, Finance Buddy has the tools you need to take your investments to the next level. Welcome to Finance Buddy!


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Senior Web Producer1
- Company: Nation Media Group
- Deadline: Friday 23rd September 2011
- Location: Nairobi
Job Description
The Nation Media Group, the largest independent media house in East and Central Africa with operations in print, broadcast and digital media. It attracts and serves unparalleled audiences in Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania and Rwanda. We are seeking to recruit an experienced and self- motivated individual to the position below within the Group.
SENIOR WEB PRODUCER -Nation.co.ke Job Number: HR-SWP-09-11 Job Type: Full Time
This position falls vacant within the Editorial Department. The candidate should have good understanding of new media, proven writing, editing, and web production abilities and sound knowledge of current affairs.He/she should also be innovative, analytical and adaptable to fast-changing news and technology realities and work under tight deadlines.
Key Responsibilities and Duties:
- Coordinate content generation and production operations for Nation.co.ke
- Drive Nation.co.ke publishing on the mobile
- Contribute to converged newsroom operations
- Lead Online Sub Editors to ensure frequent updates across all content channels
- Drive traffic through content decisions based on web metrics
- Lead multi-media production
Knowledge, Skills and Experience Required:
- Excellent headline writing and editing skills and good understanding of multi-media story-telling.
- Good understanding of current affairs, business, lifestyle and sports issues.
- Strong computer skills, including working knowledge of web technology such as Flash, HTML and Web Content Management Systems.
- Good knowledge of SEO
- A University Degree and a Diploma in Journalism;
- 3 to 4 years working experience preferably as a sub editor;
- Good level of knowledge of African current affairs
Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Dental Insurance, Disability Insurance, Paid Sick Leave, Paid Training, Flex Time
How to apply
Interested candidates who meet the above criteria may email their applications and detailed CVs online to: http://careers.nationmedia.com before 23rd September, 2011.
Note: We shall only contact the shortlisted applicants.
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