text:
During all this time - I was working hard to improve our marriage after she had expressed concern and discontent. I was feeling her drift further and further away and couldn't understand it. So I kept questioning her about things and why she was just not there anymore and finally she told me about the other guy.
After it came to light I demanded that she cut off all contact with him or else I would be done with our marriage. She agreed and supposedly told him that they no longer could interact at all at work outside of necessary business matters. She refuses to tell me his name. I want to know.
She tells me that it just isn't her secret to share and that he has to okay her disclosing this to me. But it is driving me mad - I live in a small town and hate that I will probably bump into this guy from time to time and won't even know it. Why should he know who I am but I am left in the dark. My wife and I are trying to reconcile now but this is such a point of contention. Anyone have any input? Is it healthy for me to want to know?
[This message edited by tomsmtih304 at 12:00 PM, September 6th (Friday)]
Yes, you need to know who he is. And now.
Your wife is deep into what we call "the fog" which is basically a nice way to say she has her head up her ass.
She is protecting her affair partner over her SPOUSE. It is very much her secret to share. No spouses should have secrets from one another. Period.
There is much more to know and learn about this process, but to begin, in order for you to consider remaining married to her, she must offer this information.
"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
first off I am very sorry you have been betrayed like this. You are not alone, there are lots of guys who have gone through very similar situations here on SI. You are a guy doing your best for your marriage and your wife has taken complete advantage of that.
If your W isn't wanting to give the other man's (OM) name, she is protecting him. Which unfortunately usually means she is still contacting him. Why else would she not want you to know. Because then her little fantasy world would no longer be "her" little fantasy. There can't be 3 people in a marriage. She wants 3 and obviously that won't work. It's bs and you deserve better.
She agreed and supposedly told him...
If you truly want to make this work with your wife then you need to MAKE SURE there really is no contact (aka NC) going on. Your wife (W) needs to prove that to you. Some people have done NC emails, letters, and phone calls. Do what works for you.
Being that your W works with the POS, is it possible for her to switch jobs to make you feel better about NC? If she refuses then you may need to start looking out for yourself. There is a yellow box to the left, click on The Healing Library and study up on the 180.
I'm thinking this OM is married and doesn't want his wife finding out...
Make complete honesty and transparency an absolute requirement for you to even consider staying in this marriage.
Sorry you are here, but you will find a lot of support here. Check out the Healing Library in the yellow box on the left of the screen. You will find several very helpful articles there. Might I also suggest you get the book NOT JUST FRIENDS to help you make sense of this nonsense.
Right now, she's not in ANY position to call the shots. However, if she IS then you're not standing up for yourself.
Don't apologize, don't beg for the information, don't cajole her for it and don't bargain for it. Tell her she's got EXACTLY 12 hours to give you the information and if it isn't given to you by then, she's going to find all her stuff in garbage bags out on the front lawn.
It's time to take charge, Tom.
If I had known from the start, my conditions to attempt to save our marriage would have been different. I would have told her that she needed to quit immediately instead of continuing to work there while looking for a new job.
You need to know the truth to be able to make good decisions about your future and because keeping secrets is not fucking acceptable.
Tell your wife that she can have her secret but she must immediately tender her resignation from her workplace, thus ensuring the affair would be difficult to pursue. If she refuses to tell you his name or leave her place of work, then divorce is an option to consider.
You must win this battle or the EA will soon be become a PA; if it hasn't already. WS's do tend to be a little free and easy with the truth.
She has also said that knowing a name does nothing for me. Amazingly, she has tried to say that I need to trust her because I have no way of knowing if she has really broken it off. They don't text, email or anything - it has all been at work conversations. Sure I can be part of a NC - but outside of sitting next to her at work for the rest of our lives, I can't really know if she is following the NC or not.
And changing jobs is not an option right now - we just moved her about a year ago for her job - not many great jobs in a small town. I have considered asking her to move with our 2 little ones to another town - but one of the reasons we are having marriage issues is that we have moved cross country twice in the last 3 years. Another move could be too much for us to survive.
I don't know - I am confused how handle this - I see all this 180 talk and knowing my wife. If I play it that way - it will just push her out the door. She is very headstrong and quick to make decisions. If I try to play it cool and not fight for our marriage in some ways, I think it will be over.
Thanks so far for the information. I also am happy to hear from some of the WS out there who can relate to why she doesn't want to tell.
She has also said that knowing a name does nothing for me.
Not to be blunt here but are you going to let her tell you what you need at this point? She abdicated all sense of power and control over anything moral in regards to you when she CHOSE to go outside your marriage.
The marriage issues are just that...marriage issues. They aren't reason's or excuses for having an affair. Trust me, I got and still get blamed for the A my STBXWW had. You didn't choose this, your W CHOSE to do what she did. She could have had boundaries in place and said NO at anytime. Instead she CHOSE to continue the betrayel. You are getting blameshifted here and you don't deserve any of that.
If I play it that way - it will just push her out the door. She is very headstrong and quick to make decisions. If I try to play it cool and not fight for our marriage in some ways, I think it will be over.
I have been in this exact same frame of mind and dealing with the same type of WW. That tells me you are dealing with a nonremorseful entitled person. She is not going to take responsibility for what she has done until the consequences are right in her face. And even then she might not.
The 180 is for you. It is a way for you to gain back some independence and sense of self that you gave up at some point in the marriage. It is to get your strength back and focuses on you. Start doing some of things you enjoy. Take up a hobby or sport. Take some time for yourself. Make yourself a priority and get yourself grounded again.
I realize all of this is a shock and all the aspects of your personal life that come into play when trying to deal with all this seem overwhelming. Take same time here. You don't have to make any decision right this very second. Let the initial shock where off. Keep your eyes and ears oper. Let her prove to you that she wants to be in this marriage. If she isn't, then you have some choices to make for YOU.
She's also trying to move the focus off of OM (other man) and onto why she "needed his support" in the first place so she can get you to behave like the perfect dutiful docile H she wants while she is still frolicking at work with the OM. Listen, right after DDay is NOT the time to start working on marital problems, for the first year or so it's going to be all hands on deck to just deal with the infidelity. After that is dealt with, THEN you two can start working on the marital issues. If you try to do them out of order, or at the same time, you'll both go mad with stress and likely fail.
I would take a look at the phone records, Tom.
I bet you will find a number texted more than any other. If not there, then email. The pattern seems to be, once it progresses, they really can't seem to NOT stay in contact.
If you can get a number or an email address, you can perhaps get his name.
Realize, her not giving you his name is showing who her loyalty is to....
It is out of balance because the loyalty should be to you.
My guess is that he is either married or in a position that could be troublesome for the both of them, or both.
Keep digging. And do not take her reasoning. Tell her if she wants him, she can go to him. Call her bluff.
Hugs. Keep posting.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."
Yes! You have every right to not only know WHO he is but for her to be open and honest for the rest of your marriage.
This is no longer a secret. She betrayed you and your trust...
Fuck that noise.
I would demand answers and if she didn't comply with my wishes, I would serve her with D papers.
She is protecting him when she should be focused on YOU and what she can do to make you feel safe.
Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.
Don't buy her bullshit.
I agree that doing the 180 will help YOU. Please re-read it, understand it, apply it. She won't go anywhere.
One more thing and please understand that although you're hurting you really need to hear this ... whatever she told you was the tip of the iceberg. There is more. The A was probably physical and was likely with a married man ... it usually turns out that way.
Be firm with her. If you want the AP's name, and you sure should know it, then demand it. Do not compromise on this.
She's choosing him over choosing you.
Whatever "selfless" rationale she gives you is window dressing.
It's crap.
MrH wouldn't tell me anything more about xOw2 than what I saw in the emails...her name and that they worked together. I walked around absolutely traumatized, not knowing if any woman I saw was her or even looked like her. After going through that, I believe that the WS is either in the M and an open book to the BS or they should GTFO and leave the BS in peace to rebuild without the cancer of a selfish WS eating away at their heart and safety.
I'm sorry that you find yourself here. Please take the advice that has been given to you.
T/J - DEMANDING the OM's name at the get go is one of the many things I would do over if I had to. I didn't, I was scared could only think of losing my then 4 year old daughter. My wife told me it didn't matter, you don't know him.
I finally got a name and how she new him. That he wasn't married, that he didn't have kids. It was of course all a lie.
A few weeks later I had the phone number blocked from our phones. I asked the operator who it was. It was of course the person I initially thought it was. He was married with kids and of course she knew it. Told her that I knew. There was promised no contact, etc., blah, blah, blah.
7 month's later of false R I found the receipt for the secret "Affair Phone" bought the day after I blocked the number.
Do yourself a BIG favor. Grab a box of Hefty Bags and start loading her clothes into them. Clean our her closet. Tell her you are taking them to (insert friend or family member that cannot keep a secret)and tell her dirty secret is not yours to keep any more! Tell her if the kids ask you will tell them she is helping the sick friend.
She is welcome back in the house when she can start being honest and begin the work on fixing what she destroyed. She can start by giving you the OM name.
Just threat of this plan of action drove home to my wife that I was DONE playing games. I have never in my life caused drama or made a scene. She knew I was deadly serious. Didn't even have to pull out a garbage bag.
This crap with his name ends when YOU say it ends. Read that again - When YOU say it ends. End it today. She is in the FOG. I'd bet my paycheck that he is married with kids.
I don't post much, but this one hit home. Please try to make it over the Betrayed Men thread in the I Can Relate forum. There is a lot of healing in there. One month out is a scary place to be, please take care of your health and read up on the 180.
[This message edited by Crumbled324 at 7:27 PM, September 6th (Friday)]
that he has to okay her disclosing this to me
^^^What a load of shit.
I would tell her to reveal the name or pack her bags and get out. If she values the M more than the OM she will tell you.
If she reveals his name, find out if he is M and tell his wife but don't let your W know that you are going to do this. You don't want her giving a heads up to OM so he can formulate the "This guy is crazy" story.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Her rationale is along these lines.....I shouldn't be focusing on the affair partner. My focus should be on the issues in our marriage that even allowed her to be in the place to need support from another man.
Whoa! Dude! No way! She's blaming YOU for her affair! SHE made the choice to do this, YOU didn't get a choice, did you? This was HER CHOICE of action. This had nothing to do with you - Don't let her shift the blame to your shoulders.
She also says that she told him that she wouldn't tell me his name and doesn't feel she can go back on that without getting consent from him.
Eeeengh! Wrong answer. The thing to do is to draw your line. What do you want and need? Do you need to know who it is? Of course you do! She doesn't tell, then go see a lawyer - tomorrow! If nothing else it might slap her enough to pull her head out of her ass and give you what you need to feel safe in the relationship again. If not, find out your options from the lawyer.
There's a good thread in the "I Can Relate" forum for betrayed Men. We can help.
D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married
Read this tactical primer by SerJr:
Take care of yourself.
She either tells you or you pack up
Her shit and put her out. Let her support you and the kids if needed.
Head strong or not she has her head up her ass and you need to pull it out!
If sh didnt told you his name even after one month means a lot. Its shows where her loyalty is, she is loyal to OM not you. She is protecting OM and she dont give a shit about your pain or hurt. WHY YOU ARE PUTTING UP WITH THIS? Why you didnt told her to fuck off and come home when she is ready to tell his name and call his wife/ GF and inform what happened at work.
Why you didnt asked her to quit the job and find some other job? You are afraid to move again, you are moving again not because of what you did, its because of what she did.
I dont believe her story that they talked behind the closed doors. Two adults who are in love dont talk behind the closed doors, they are there to do something; we call it sex. She is trickle truthing you and trying to minimise and protect the OM.
Many A thrives and flourish under the nose of BSs only because BSs are scared to face the truth and stand their ground firmly. Every days you allowing her to have contact with her OM even after your knowledge of A is enabling the A. Stop playing nice, its time for tough love.
What is important to you and her your marriage or job? If you want to save your marriage first get ready to lose it.
[This message edited by kannan at 3:09 AM, September 7th (Saturday)]
I did two things on discovery day 2,
type questions on a word document with specific questions and told him he had half an hour to answer them all honestly or his guitar would be run over by a car.
He was 80% honest (about as much as you can expect from a liar)
2. I said he had half an hour to help me get his whore down to the park so I could confront her or all of his stuff would be packed in the car. I had already arranged for him to stay with a friend for a month.
BAM, all conditions fulfilled.
That is how I got confirmation on all my suspicions AND A NAME!
She DOES NOT get to tell you what she will not tell you SHE DOES NOT get to treat you like a chump.
Time to stand up and realise you won't take her shit anymore. Because you're worth it
First off, sorry that you are here. This shit hurts more than anything that we will normally ever experience.
You are getting a lot of "get angry and take control" responses here for (2) main reasons---First, it is the correct thing to do, and second, nothing irks betrayed spouses and partners on this site like an unremorseful partner....which is EXACTLY what your wife currently is.
I understand that you may not be ready to put her stuff on the front lawn....I really do. But just because I understand it doesn't mean that it is correct to be passive. You are living your own personal nightmare, and if you were anything like me, you are almost paralyzed with fear of losing everything---your wife, kids, home, and all that is important to you.
But you are going to have to come to the realization that this path can't continue. The easiest question to ask yourself, right at this moment, and with total honesty, is if you can continue the rest of your life exactly like it is right now. I mean that---will you be able to live without knowing his name, knowing that she is choosing to protect him over you, and have no way of ensuring that she doesn't communicate with him ever again?
If the answer to the above is yes, then disregard the following. But if you can't stay like this, now is exactly the time to take steps in reclaiming your life.
You fear that she will leave if you take a hard line. As much as this may not compute with you right now, it is better that she leaves now than tomorrow, 1 year, or 10 years from here, because you will be that much further along in your own personal healing. Don't waste a moment's time with an unremorseful spouse. Make it painfully clear to her that every bit of resistance that you perceive as damaging to the marriage(or what is left of it) is moving you in the opposite direction of potential reconciliation. That you will NOT accept anything less than what is expected in a loving, committed marriage.
The sooner she gets your message loud and clear, the sooner that you will see if you have a partner who is committed to making things work, or who will not do the work on themselves to make them a safe partner for the future.
Remember, you can not control what she does, but you do control your future. Your old marriage is dead....or at least on life support. It has no chance of survival in the current conditions. But it can either be revived or rebuilt with TWO committed partners. Unfortunately, she is not of that material right now.
You have to get past your fears of the unknown. They hold way too many of us back at precisely the time when we should be as proactive as we could ever imagine. No matter what, you are going to look back after time, and second guess many of your decisions/actions. Don't let fear be one of those regrets.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D
Your wife has been emotionally cheating on you for months.
Everyone is right. It ends when you say it ends.
Put a stop to it today. Get access to her cell without her knowing it. If she is cheating at work put a pen var in the bottom of her bag or a var in her car.
Because your wife is not too be trusted as you should already see.
As for checking phone bills, emails, etc. She has a iPhone thru her employer - so I have no access to her texting records. I do have physical access to her iPhone so I can see her texts and phone calls. I even know her password to the phone. I don't see any unusual things as of now. And I have access to her personal email account and there has never been anything on there either.
The only thing I don't have access to is her work based email account. But based on the type of work she does - I doubt she would be using that as a method of interacting with the OM. I actually do believe that all there interactions have been limited to face to face contact and there is no paper trail to follow.
I have talked more with her about needing to know his name and she has agreed that when we start see a MC soon, that we can discuss it with the therapist. So I have agreed to table it for now.
A lot of people on here are stating outright that she is definitely lying. And while my wife never told me some important things that were happening - they were lies of omission not bold faced lies when I started questioning her more. She revealed the EA with the OM willingly when I was still pretty much in the dark. There hasn't been any trickle truth - it all came out in one night on D day except for the name. And she swears that that don't work closely together and after she cut off contact she only sees him once or twice a week in the halls of the office.
I think she knows enough about me that if I find out she is still lying that we are done for good. I have told her that very clearly and I am not one that makes idle threats. But in reality - there is no way to actually know what happened without trusting her somewhat. So at some point - if I want to reconcile I have to take what she says at face value and believe it if there is no additional evidence to the contrary. I am not trying to put my head in the sand here - but I can't spend my life fighting windmills either. I plan on continuing to gather intel and doing the 180. That is what I can control right now.
You can take as much, or as little advice here, and apply it to your situation. There is a saying around here to take what you need, and leave the rest.
One thing I should say is that while you are still feeling your way through the discovery of infidelity, you should not quickly discard the things that seem the strangest to you. As a matter of fact, you should think about them a little harder, because people aren't just suggesting things that are "out of bounds" to you for shock value---but because these are approaches that have had positive(and negative) effects in specific situations.
Another thing that you will start to see clearer is her current manipulation:
I have talked more with her about needing to know his name and she has agreed that when we start see a MC soon, that we can discuss it with the therapist. So I have agreed to table it for now.
See this for what it is--control. She is not seeking the therapist's advice if it is or is not the right thing to do, she is withholding this information because she does not want to reveal her partner. She is protecting him over your needs, period. This is why I am stating that she is unremorseful---because with remorse comes empathy---and she sure as hell isn't feeling your pain. Lies of omission are still lies, and even if she isn't outright lying to you, she is not looking out for your needs.
You can't reconcile with that.
You state that eventually you will have to start to trust her. That is true. But you do not need to trust her at face value without hard evidence. Just because you don't currently trust her doesn't mean that you believe that she is lying...it just means that she is not to be trusted by her current actions.
Words are just that---words. That doesn't do squat to build trust. It is the consistent, continuing actions that are the building blocks to regaining trust. And the pillars to those actions are honesty, transparency, and remorse. You just don't have these at this point. Ask yourself--what is she DOING on her own to rebuild your trust? What is she doing to show that she is putting your needs in front of hers?
Now, I think one more thing is needed; BS who is not ready to swallow any Bull shit from WS and who is not scared of loosing the WS.
Sadly, in your case you dont have any of these with you for true R.
[This message edited by kannan at 7:50 AM, September 9th (Monday)]
You've already had a lot of great advice. I'll just throw my experience in as well. I got the "we don't need to ruin their marriage", "they have nothing to do with us", all that shit. I told her that either she give me his contact info, or we are done. She decided not to. I handed her a piece of paper that I had been working on with what I was going to go for in our divorce. No fucking way was I going to not only be cheated on, but have my wife place her affair partner above me in our marriage. She'd already done that long enough. If she wants to protect him over you, time to walk.
She also says that she told him that she wouldn't tell me his name and doesn't feel she can go back on that without getting consent from him.
Huh really? Seems she went back on her wedding vows without bothering to get consent from you.
What makes him so special that he gets a concrete promise but you did not?
You feel she did omission and did not trickle-truth you? In your original post you stated how you could feel her drifting away but she would not tell you what was wrong. You knew something was off and kept trying harder in the M and she was having her EA.
I know how hard it is in these early stages. I have been there. You want so badly to believe them and to fix it...but you can't do it alone. She has to be able to meet your requirements for a R to work and she is clearly stating she will not.
So sorry.
I agree with a lot of things being said here. I plan on putting the 180 into effect in many ways. But the piece of advice that is crazy is to start using voice activated recording devices. That is a felony without consent from at least one party of the conversation. That is not a road that seems wise to head down.
I don't think anyone has ever successfully pushed those felony charges against a spouse because it isn't employed with criminal or malicious intent, not when it's on your own property to determine whether or not the environment you are in is a safe one.
Even in the event that it would be true, using a VAR in your own home or a marital vehicle for personal purposes does not mean it is going to be used as court admitted evidence.
In any case, you have no reason to trust her right now. I hope she is telling you the truth but the reality is that she has deceived you already and has placed her loyalty to this man above her loyalty to you. Many WS use secret email accounts - she could easily access gmail or yahoo from another computer you do not have access to that never touches her work email, and many WS also use secret cell phones. The vast majority of WS minimize their involvement with the OP.
It is entirely possible that your wife is telling you the whole truth as it stands and this one thing is in the way, but the unfortunate reality is that if there is a story like that out of all those here on SI, I do not remember it. They're always deeper, tips of the iceberg.
Yes, if you are going to R then you need to trust her at some point - but that trust comes when she earns it.
I linked you to the tactical primer earlier - this is also an excellent post to read, called Before You Say Reconcile:
Good luck.
This is blame shifting at its finest.
You have every right to define your deal breakers.
One of mine was to know the OW's name and how and where they met. At first he didn't want to tell me and I said "fine we are done".
I am curious to why your wife can't provide you with this information. It is absolutely her information to share.
She cares more for protecting this OM than your feelings or need to know in order to move on. RED FLAG.
I think she knows enough about me that if I find out she is still lying that we are done for good.
Gently, no she doesn't believe this because she is still calling all of the shots. She is making this about you, your marriage vs. the fact that she chose to cheat on you. She chose to go outside the marriage. She isn't ready to reveal her AP or be honest with herself or with you.
You need to set some boundaries and one would be to know this man's name NOW. If she can be honest about that then nothing she says should be believed.
She regrets she was caught but she is not remorseful. She is not putting you first and there is no way R is possible until that happens.
Sorry you are here but as many have stated, you have to not only do the 180 but start demanding some honesty as part of your ability to stay with her.
Stand your ground. Good luck. Hugs and prayers.
good luck and i pray she gives you the answers you deserve.
you wont be able to move on not knowing, thats the worst part. you will go crazy and look at every man and wonder if thats him..
My focus should be on the issues in our marriage that even allowed her to be in the place to need support from another man.
I know this has already been addressed in this thread but I must reiterate -
This is a bunch of bullshit. This is textbook WS talk. It's so textbook that it is quoted on the cover of the WS handbook.
My suggestion is: increase your surveillance: key loggers, VAR. Give an ultimatum and ask for all info.
I will bet my next paycheck on the following;
1- Your wife is screwig the guy. If she says EA its a PA. Waywards always lie and minimize. ALWAYS. Your wife is not special. Start reading, almost all of these stories are the same.
2- The OM is married- she is protecting him. Over you!
Wy do you think it is just an EA? She told you that?? LOL. DUDE, she is a liar!!! Get that in your head. Believe nothing she says, only what you see ad can verify.
All of your instincts here are wrong. You are basing your decisions on lies and deciet. The only chance you have to save your marriage is to blow this wide open. Go online, google "retrieve deleted texts iphone", it is easy to do off of the backup file. Most likely you will get what you need as far as proof.
If not, put a VAR under her seat with velcro tape. The VAR in the car took 1 day to catch my WW. You must demand NC and that she change jobs. She has no respect for you. As long as you are her bitch this will continue. Stand up to her. Get yourself an STD test and demand she do the same.
DO NOT DISCLOSE your source of info (VAR/ deleted texts). I made this mistake. I figured I had all I needed. WRONG. You will have to monitor your wife for weeks to VERIFY NC. If you give up your sources, she can take it underground more easily.
And most importantly, you must expose the affair to the OM's wife. This will end the affair. Affairs are like vampires, they thrive in the dark. The light kills them. Do NOT tell your wife you are going to expose, she will give her OM a heads up. But you need proof. Get it.
I am sorry man, trust me , I know how you feel. Eat right if you can and try to sleep. Good luck.
[This message edited by slater13 at 12:47 AM, September 10th (Tuesday)]


text:
I love how metastuck is kinda almost sorta canon now. It fills me with a wondrous sense of misplaced pride.
- mysterydruids likes this
- paperartichokes said: is it definitely?? or are we reading into it? i think i missed something last night..?
- rocketmantis posted this
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subset: commoncrawl


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Bizarre History of Cape May > African Americans made important contributions to Cape May
Written by Jacob Schaad Jr. Thursday, September 27, 2012 11:00 am
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Although the world did not treat them kindly or fairly, some African Americans in Cape May managed to survive the indignities with history-making contributions to the world around them.
Among the most famous who brought their cause here, either directly or indirectly before and after the city was to be renamed Cape May, were Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass and Booker Washington.
Bur while the actions of the trio and others were to make an impact nationally as well as locally on the future of race relations and, unbelievably then, on the eventual election of an African American president, there were two men on the local scene who were to make history in Cape May City.
Their names were Edgar Draper, who was to become the first African American doctor in Cape May County, and Adrian Capehart, who was to be the first and to this day only African American councilman in Cape May's long history.
Draper was born in Philadelphia in 1886. In 1912 he was to receive his medical degree at the University of Pennsylvania, finishing second in his class.
Lured by the seashore he moved to Cape May where he started a practice in 1914, but when the United States entered World War I in 1916 so did Draper as a lieutenant. He moved up the ranks to colonel while serving in France before he was discharged in 1919.
Safely returned from the wars to Cape May, Draper resumed his medical practice and became active in the community. So well received was he that he was invited to be the toastmaster at a dinner for Dr. William Edward Burghardt DuBois, co-founder of the NAACP and one of the most influential African Americans before the Civil War.
DuBois, who was to live into his 90s, was honored in 1915 at Cape May's Hotel Dale, located at the corner of Lafayette and Jefferson streets. It was considered an important hotel then, especially for the African American community, at a time when segregation still prevailed.
A newspaper identified as the Washington Bee described the DuBois event as an "occasion that will long be remembered." Then it gave a plug for the place where it was held.
"Hotel Dale is one of the best resorts on the Atlantic and when guests come here they are royally treated."
Draper was to live until November 1956 when he succumbed at the age of 70 at Burdette Tomlin Memorial Hospital in Cape May Court House. Fifteen years later on Aug. 12, 1971 he was honored posthumously when an extension of the Washington Street walking mall was dedicated in his name at a ceremony presided over by the then Cape May Councilman Arthur "Mickey" Blomkvest. A plaque commemorating his service to the community still stands there.
Two other war heroes, Henry Washington Sawyer of the Civil War and Congressional Medal of Honor winner Edwin J. Hill of World War II, also were honored at ceremonies on that day. Mayor Frank A. Gauvry, a prime mover in the development of the mall, presided at the Sawyer ceremony and Deputy Mayor Bernard A. Berk at the Hill event.
While Draper was the first African American doctor of Cape May County, he was far from the first in the United States. That honor went 85 years earlier to Dr. James McCune Smith who had to go to Europe for his medical degree when no college in the United States would accept him. He received his degree at the University of Scotland in Glasgow.
Generally acknowledged as the first African American woman to become a doctor in the USA was Rebecca J. Cole, who attended the New England Female Medical College and graduated in 1864 after completing her thesis on "The Eye and Its Appendages." She received her second medical degree in 1867 when she was graduated from the Woman's College of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, 40 years after Smith made his mark in the medical world. It was the same college that the Wildwoods' famous Margaret Mace earned her medical degree in 1905.
Adrian Capehart was not a doctor, but in his time on the council in the 1970s and 1980s there were many who claimed he administered to the health of the community without the need for stethoscopes or thermometers. He was also a sports enthusiast, once a baseball player and when his legs gave out and his throwing arm didn't throw as well he kept in the sport by umpiring Little League baseball games.
At the age of 74 he was celebrating his 25th year as an umpire, more than 700 games since he started calling balls and strikes.
"Every year I say I am finished, but as soon as I hear the sound of bat against ball I bring out my mask and uniform and go right back at it," said Capehart.
Capehart, who was to die in 1989 at the age of 81, ejected from the game only three coaches during his long years behind the plate.
"They came out of the dugout and did a lot of hooting and hollering and tried to start a rhubarb," recalled Capehart. "I told them to get back to the dugout, and when they didn't I sent them to the showers early."
Being an avid baseball fan, Capehart also talked often of the days that he visited games at the old major league stadiums, especially the World Series of 1929 when the Philadelphia Athletics beat the Chicago Cubs in five games. His eyes sparkled when he talked of such bygone stars as Jimmy Foxx, Mickey Cochrane, George Earnshaw, Jimmy Dykes, Charles Root and Al Simons.
But while Capehart enjoyed baseball as well as the Penn Relays, which he attended every year with fellow councilman Fred Coldren, his main playing field was Cape May City Hall where he called the plays in city government for several years. His biggest victory, although some may not call it that, was joining Coldren and Blomkvest, then mayor, in voting for beach tag fees.
Cape May was just the second municipality in the state to charge fees for use of the beach, following Ocean City. Today, most seashore resorts assess fees and some, like Wildwood, that don't are reassessing whether they should.
Like Draper, Sawyer and Hill, Capehart had a street named after him. When the announcement appeared on the city's meeting agenda, Capehart broke into laughter.
"I thought you guys were kidding all the time," he said.
- Lower Township Council asks for investigation into LTMUA
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It's two weeks before the bar, so you know what that means; total freaking panic. Ah yeah: dogs and cats living together, pants on the ground, don't feed the one-man wolfpack after midnight kind of hysteria.
For people who will eventually fail the bar, this is the time that they start choking hard enough to merit a tryout with the U.S. Women's Soccer team. You know the people out there studying with one hand around their throat. They're the ones who are still making boneheaded mistakes on evidence questions, but are going to waste an entire day over the next two weeks on commercial paper.
Of course, if you are a first time Bar taker, it might be hard to know if the pressure is getting to you. So here's a hint, and I'm going to break out the Jeff Foxworthy voice to get it across: if you are threatening to dismember people with plastic cutlery, you might be about to fail the bar…
Continue reading "You Have No Scars On Your Face, And You Cannot Handle Pressure"


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"He had a certain frankness and generosity, qualities indeed which turn to a man's ruin, unless tempered with discretion.
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What does that mean for Houston?
James Coney Island is one of the oldest restaurants in Houston, founded in 1923 by Greek immigrant brothers James and Tom Papadakis (this explains the Greek-influenced chili that remains on the menu to this day). But although the chain is celebrating its 90th anniversary this year, the food is anyth ... More >>
The top 10 restaurants in Little India.
Most of the time, I'm the type of person who thinks that -- like barbecue -- chili is best made and enjoyed at home. It's simple stuff that dates back nearly 500 years to the first chili recipe, when Bernal Diaz del Castillo, one of Hernan Cortez's captains, described the Cholulan Indian stew in 151 ... More >>
Kyle Nielsen is a genius, and I don't use that word lightly. Nielsen, a frequent commenter here at Eating Our Words and a man known for his preternatural knowledge of the Houston restaurant scene, sat down on the day that Robb Walsh released the final dish from his list of his 100 favorite H ... More >>
A slip-and-fall case bites James Coney Island in the butt


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Los Angeles Employment and Labor Law Attorneys
Kesluk, Silverstein & Jacob Law Offices
At the Los Angeles labor law firm of Kesluk, Silverstein & Jacob, our employment attorneys and staff are dedicated to utilizing all available and necessary resources including nearly four decades of combined legal experience to achieve fair, just, and desirable resolutions to disputes that occur in some of the most critical areas of employment law. We are highly qualified Los Angeles labor lawyers who understand the importance of feeling comfortable in the workplace; especially when feeling comfortable means being free from fear caused by working for an abusive supervisor, being fired for an injury suffered on the job, or for some other illegitimate cause.
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If you have a problem in the workplace and you need a Los Angeles employment attorney, contact our law firm today to set up a consultation.
- Sandwich Maker Jimmy John's Accused of Wage Theft
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Alex: We're the only family we need, right? We'll be together forever, right? You and me. And if we have kids, we'll be great. I'll be a great dad and you'll be great and it'll just be us. We won't need anybody else, okay?
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StreamPad Music Player is old but it has many playlist options and customization comparing to other music player. This is the best audio player for Tumblr blog.
Read more...
Billy Player is the best small music player. However, if you want customized skins then you can add WikPlayer on your Tumblr blog.
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(Source: htmlthemecodes)
WikPlayer is quite new but it has much more customizable skins than any other music player. You can use YouTube as playlist on WikPlayer.
SCM Player, WikPlayer, Hypster.com and Billy Player are the best for create Tumblr Playlist. In which WikPlayer has more customizable skins and playlist options.
You don't need to configure any hard settings or upload any music on your host. Just choose Billy Player and put it on your Tumblr blog.
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50+: Live Better, Longer
Caregivers Feel Helpless, Need Help
Suzanne Mintz, president and cofounder of the National Family Caregivers Association, has suffered four bouts of depression during the three decades she has taken care of her husband, who has multiple sclerosis. Although he is in a wheelchair, he works every day. But he needs help with the basics of daily life -- personal hygiene, etc., she tells WebMD.
"You have to be aware of what's going on with yourself," she advises. "If you're sad, blue, not sleeping, not eating right, you are probably depressed. One thing depression does is rob you of initiative and the ability to make good decisions. Once you start spiraling into it, you don't know you can pull yourself out without help. That's why it's so important to recognize signs of depression."
Depression can compromise your ability to be an effective caregiver, she says. "That's the message caregivers will listen to." Also, family members and friends should be aware of depressive symptoms in a caregiver.
"Getting help helps," Mintz says. "Being a caregiver is more than a one-person job. Get beyond the pride and the feeling that you're supposed to do this all yourself. That just isn't the case. If you're caring for someone bigger than you are, who needs multiple procedures, someone with dementia, you need help. You may be caring for kids, have a job -- multiple responsibilities, being tugged in so many other directions. It isn't realistic to think you can do it all alone."
Her suggestion: If you're caring for a senior, contact your area agency on aging. Contact other local volunteer chapters, like the American Cancer Society, Multiple Sclerosis Society, and Alzheimer's Association. Contact your county office of disability and aging. Contact your church.
"This is research someone else can do for you," Mintz says. "Let them make the phone calls, then report back to you. That's a huge benefit to know your options."
Also, if your patient has been hospitalized recently, talk to the hospital social worker or discharge planner. "They should know about these things," she says.
Other studies have shown that depression is very, very high among family caregivers -- some 60% experience depression, Mintz tells WebMD. "Exercise helps to prevent depression. But people need to realize depression is an illness, it's an issue of brain chemistry. Getting depressed, getting help for depression -- neither is a sign of weakness."


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Windows 7 to come in 'Steve Ballmer' edition
Summary: For Steve Ballmer fans, Microsoft plans to release a special edition of Windows 7 Ultimate that comes in a package with the chief executive's signature on the front.The software maker did the same thing with Vista, Ina Fried of CNET News.
The software maker did the same thing with Vista, Ina Fried of CNET News.com points out, but that time it was Bill Gates whose autograph adorned the packaging.
It looks like that for now, only people who have signed up to host a Windows 7 launch party are going to get their hands on it. For more on the Ballmer version of Windows 7, take a look at the CNET News.com story.
Kick off your day with ZDNet's daily email newsletter. It's the freshest tech news and opinion, served hot. Get it.


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Toronto Maple Leafs. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is simple: Win your remaining five games.
Okay, maybe it's not so simple, but that is what they have do if they want to ensure they make the playoffs. They will still need help but the Leafs will have to do their part.
The Leafs eight-game losing streak saw the Leafs playoff chances dwindle. Yet, here we are, with the Leafs only one point back of the Columbus Blue Jackets for the second and final wild card spot in the Eastern Conference.
It won't be easy, especially with the team they face tonight to start it off their last five games. Tonight, the Boston Bruins visit the Air Canada Centre. Of course, we all know the Bruins were the team that eliminated the Leafs from the playoffs last spring. Another win by the Bruins would effectively do the same again this season.
If the Leafs can somehow find a way to beat the Bruins, either in regulation or overtime/shootout, then they only have slightly less-challenging opposition. After the Bruins, the Leafs face-off against the Winnipeg Jets at home and then close out the season with a three-game road trip with games against the Tampa Bay Lightning, Florida Panthers and Ottawa Senators.
Of course, teams like the Blue Jackets and Washington Capitals will have to lose a lot of their games to give the Leafs any hope. These last few games should be quite interesting.
Tags: Toronto Maple Leafs


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Litigation In State & Federal Courts
Real Estate
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Mechanics Liens & Construction Defects
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Richard W. Hanes
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Thomas J. Hurley
Eric Pavri
Litigation In State & Federal Courts
Real Estate
Intellectual Property
Contracts & Transactions
Business Law
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Mechanics Liens & Construction Defects
HOAs & Covenant Disputes
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Landlord and Tenant
The attorneys at Hanes & Bartels have represented clients in literally hundreds of commercial and residential landlord-tenant disputes. We consistently appear on behalf of both landlords and tenants in Colorados County and District Courts, as well as Federal District and Bankruptcy Courts.
Whether it is an eviction (FED), security deposit dispute, allegations of violations of The Fair Housing Act or The Americans with Disabilities Act, or simply drafting or reviewing a lease, our attorneys have the experience and practical approach to help you enforce your rights under your lease and under the law.
Our landlord-tenant services include the following:
Evictions (Forcible entry and detainer/unlawful detainer)
When a tenant fails to pay rent, or violates other terms of the rental agreement, the law provides a system which a landlord must follow to seek the courts intervention and grant an eviction. Failure to precisely follow the procedures contained in the law, however, can provide grounds for the court to dismiss the eviction case, resulting in extra expense and lost time for the landlord.
On the other hand, tenants in eviction proceedings are facing the possibility of losing their home or business in a very short amount of time. It is critical that tenants not only know their rights, but how to enforce them.
The attorneys at Hanes & Bartels have extensive courtroom experience representing landlords and tenants, and have conducted many eviction trials. We have represented clients in landlord-tenant disputes ranging from single-family homeowners to large property management companies managing over $500 million in assets.
Security Disputes
Second only to evictions, disputes over security deposits are the most frequently-filed cases involving landlords and tenants. Like the eviction process, the law is very specific in describing how a landlord must treat a tenants security deposit, and the steps a landlord must take before keeping any portion of the deposit. Failure to follow those steps can provide grounds for the tenant to sue the landlord not only for the amount of the deposit, but in some circumstances three times that amount.
Likewise, the law contains specific steps a tenant must follow before enforcing his or her right to recover the deposit, and to be eligible for the treble award referenced above.
For more information on Colorados security deposit law, see our blog regarding
Colorados Law On The Return Of A Tenants Security Deposit
Defence against claims brought under the Fair Housing Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)
Despite the best efforts of landlords, it is not uncommon to be accused by a tenant of discrimination under The Fair Housing Act or The Americans with Disabilities Act. Defending against these claims can be tricky and intimidating, especially when you have become the target of an investigation by the Attorney Generals office.
Fair Housing laws prohibit most landlords and property managers from discriminating against tenants on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, disability and familial status (known as the seven "protected classes"). If a tenant is successful in accusing a landlord of Fair Housing violations, or if the landlord fails to properly defend such claims, the landlord can face significant penalties, including monetary compensation for actual damages, humiliation, and pain and suffering; an assessment of fines to be paid to the Federal Government ranging from as much as $16,000 for a first violation to $65,000 for the third within a seven-year period; payment of reasonable attorneys fees and costs; or other forms of relief.
The attorneys at Hanes & Bartels have significant experience litigating both Fair Housing and ADA claims. We have defended such cases not only in the early phases of a response to an inquiry from the Attorney Generals office, but also in full-blown litigation in federal court. Because this is a somewhat sensitive area, we approach such cases carefully and thoughtfully, but with the ability to become aggressive when necessary.
Our attorneys have also taught classes and seminars on Fair Housing and ADA compliance to numerous property management companies and real estate professionals. If you are interested in having one of our attorneys present classes or training sessions, please contact us at
(719) 260-7900
For more information on Fair Housing law, see our blog regarding
Fair Housing Discrimination Claims
Representation in Federal Bankruptcy Court to enforce landlord rights
When a tenant files bankruptcy, it is critical that you are aware of the steps you can and cannot take in trying to enforce your rights as a landlord and creditor. Upon the filing of bankruptcy, federal law automatically imposes an immediate protection, called the "automatic stay", that essentially prohibits all creditors from any type of collection activities, including evictions or requesting unpaid money. A landlords or other creditors failure to follow these federal laws can result in significant consequences and monetary penalties.
The attorneys at Hanes & Bartels have represented numerous landlord creditors in federal bankruptcy court to overcome the restrictions of the automatic stay, so that they can proceed to evict a non-paying tenant, or enforce other applicable rights.
For more information on how a landlord can overcome a tenants bankruptcy, and how to properly proceed, see our blog regarding
What Does A Landlord Do When A Tenant Files Bankruptcy?
Lease Drafting and Review
You have heard it said that "an ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure". This old adage is particularly as it relates to the need to have a sound and comprehensive lease agreement. Yet many landlords fail to invest the relatively small amount of time or money needed to find the right contract. Time and time again we, as attorneys, find ourselves in the unfortunate position of having to inform a landlord that his or her lease does not comply with the law, or does not permit them to exercise a particular right or remedy that the law provides. In almost every one of those circumstances, the landlord could have protected his or her rights with a proper lease.
The attorneys at Hanes & Bartels have written articles and taught seminars to other attorneys and real estate professionals on how to draft and utilize effective leases. We have developed standard leases that we can tailor to your particular needs. We are also available to review your current lease agreements and provide advice on how they can be improved.
Abandonment of Rental Premises
What should a landlord do when the tenant disappears, but leaves a mountain of personal items behind in the property? Can the landlord retake possession of the premises once it appears the tenant has vacated? Does the tenant automatically forego any rights to the security deposit by leaving? How does the landlord properly dispose of the tenants personal items? Do the same rules apply if the former tenant leaves behind a car? Firearms? Pets?
These are all critical questions that arise when a tenant abandons the rental premises. Like other areas of landlord-tenant law, the law contains specific steps that must be taken by a landlord to declare the property as abandoned, and then what the landlord must do afterwards to properly dispose of the personal items left behind.
Our attorneys can guide you through the abandonment process to assure compliance with applicable laws. If you do find yourself in a dispute related to a tenants abandonment, or if you are a renter and believe your former landlord violated your rights upon move-out, call us at
(719) 260-7900
to arrange a time to come in and meet one of our attorneys.
This website is not intended to constitute legal advice and may not reflect the most current legal developments. The information contained in this website is provided only as general information. By posting and/or maintaining this website and its contents, Hanes & Bartels LLC does not intend to solicit legal business from clients located in states or jurisdictions where Hanes Hrbacek & Bartels LLC or its individual attorneys are not licensed or authorized to practice law. Responding to this website does not create an attorney/client relationship.


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Jump Start
While Louisiana Superintendent of Education John White has been barnstorming the state to drum up support for Jump Start—which, if approved by the Legislature this spring, will revamp the way the state provides career and technical training to high school students who may not be interested in or ready for college—the Baton Rouge business community has quietly been doing its part to help get the program enacted and make sure it's a success.
In late January, a group of business leaders led by executives at Turner Industries and SSA Consultants formed the Louisiana Workforce Education Initiative: a nonprofit whose purpose is to raise money for marketing efforts to educate the state about the potential of Jump Start and its significance.
"This is a game changer," says Stephen Toups, Turner's vice president of business development, who co-founded the nonprofit and is helping raise money for it. "Imagine Louisiana turning out thousands of high school graduates who have jobs or solid career paths in front of them."
Jump Start is potentially one of the state's most important educational programs in a long time. That's because it overhauls the existing lackluster career diploma program, which is not reaching as many kids as it could and is therefore missing an opportunity to develop the skilled workforce Louisiana needs now and will, even more so, in the years to come.
Jump Start targets kids early in their high school careers, enabling them to take classes during the school day that will prepare them for technical careers once they graduate. Perhaps more importantly, it removes the disincentives currently built into the system that penalize schools that don't graduate a certain percentage of college- bound students.
Instead, it rewards schools for putting in place a career-training program that serves a variety of students and provides them with the kind of education that will help both them and the businesses around the state.
The Louisiana Workforce Education Initiative aims to support the program—first, by assuring that both the Board of Elementary and Secondary Education and the Legislature approve Jump Start when it comes before them later this spring. After that, the group will help fund a media campaign designed not only to increase public awareness about the program but also to change attitudes about job-training programs and postsecondary education.
"There is still a stigma in Louisiana attached to programs and students who do not choose a path to a four-year college degree," says Christel Slaughter of SSA Consultants, which will be executing the campaign. "This will require a comprehensive communications effort involving grassroots outreach, mass media, social media and other nontraditional strategies."
In early February, Turner Industries Vice Chairman and President Thomas Turner signed his name to a solicitation letter that went out statewide to executives of large companies. The initial goal was to raise $75,000—money that will be used to do statewide polling later this month to assess attitudes. Eventually, Slaughter says the group hopes to raise more than $1 million to fund a mass marketing campaign that could begin rolling out in late summer.
The support of the private sector is critical to the success of the program, insists White, who is the architect of Jump Start. For their part, business leaders say the program is critical to the long-term future of the state. Says Toups: "This will open up careers and change futures for people growing up in Louisiana."
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The shitty, shitty winter North America got this year? One reason might be Chinese smog. Thanks, China.
The Great Lakes are still over half frozen, much of the northeast got snow today, in the middle of April, and the last few months of winter were particularly bad this year, especially through the upper midwest and northeast US. All this in the middle of being told that the planet is getting warmer and warmer. Apparently, a good deal of our awful winter can be blamed on the insane amounts of pollution in east and south Asia. Thanks, guys.


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This is me all the way….
You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
— C.S Lewis
Rock and Short →
Cut off shorts are definitely in this season….you can dress them up or down.
No What if's
This year is going to be the year of No What if's! Just do what makes you happy and take risks. Life will always be dull if you sit back and think "What if I did that" or "What if I would have done this!" Don't live that way. Life is full of surprises and you never know what excitemet might come your way when you take chances.
Mistakes are inevitable and they are bound to happen so just do it! I have made my promise that this year I will do everything that makes me happy. I will travel more, relax more and make new friends! I don't know what's instore for me later but I know that it will be good!
I'm excited about the year 2012. New dreams and new memories!
In periods of rapid personal change, we pass through life as though we are spell-cast. We speak in sentences that end before finishing. We sleep heavily because we need to ask so many questions as we dream alone. We bump into others and feel bashful at recognizing souls so similar to ourselves.
— Douglas Coupland


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More Hospital Patients Unable To PaySeptember 22, 2010 4:32 am | Comments
Hannah Wolfson, AP More patients at UAB Hospital haven't been able to pay their bills over the last two years because of the tough economy, and hospital administrators are predicting the trend will continue in 2011. "High unemployment and fewer insured patients are affecting both the hospital and the faculty," John Faulstich, the UAB Health System's chief financial officer, told the University of Alabama System board of trustees.
New Blood Clot Prevention StrategiesSeptember 22, 2010 4:23 am | Comments
Treating hospital patients with thigh-length surgical stockings, rather than knee-high socks, can reduce life threatening blood clots, a new study suggests. Researchers found that knee-high stockings, which are similar to flight socks, do little in stroke patients to prevent deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a life threatening form of blood clot that can travel up into the heart and lungs.
Less Invasive Surgery Approved For Breast Cancer TreatmentSeptember 21, 2010 6:41 am | Comments
September 21, 2010 Maria Cheng, AP (AP) Some breast cancer patients may do just as well with a less invasive surgery to remove selected lymph nodes rather than the aggressive operation normally used to remove them all, a new study says. In the biggest trial yet to compare the two procedures, North American researchers found early breast cancer patients don't need the more interventionist surgery to live longer.
Post-Op High Blood Sugar Associated With Surgical InfectionsSeptember 21, 2010 6:33 am | Comments
High blood glucose levels after surgery may be an important risk factor for infection at the surgical site in patients having general surgery, according to a report in the September issue of Archives of Surgery . Surgical site infection accounts for 14 to 17 percent of hospital-acquired infections, making it the third most common type of infection acquired at health-care facilities and the most common among patients having surgery, according to background information in the article.
Worm Shot Out Of Man's Eye With LasersSeptember 21, 2010 6:22 am | Comments
Doctors rushed a Cedar Rapids, Iowa man into a treatment room after they found a worm had taken up residence in his eye. John Matthews said he sought medical help after he noticed two spots obscuring his vision in his left eye. Several specialists tested him and he was sent to the ophthalmology department at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
Appendectomy Delays Not Associated With Adverse OutcomesSeptember 21, 2010 6:18 am | Comments
Delays of 12 hours or more before surgery do not appear to adversely affect 30-day outcomes among patients undergoing appendectomies for acute appendicitis, according to a report in the September issue of Archives of Surgery . "Appendectomy is the most common emergent surgical procedure performed worldwide, with appendicitis accounting for approximately 1 million hospital days annually," the authors write.
Robotically Assisted PCI System Safe, FeasibleSeptember 21, 2010 5:56 am | Comments
The first in-human study of a robotically assisted percutaneous coronary intervention system demonstrated that the technique was safe and feasible. The results of the study were presented at the 22nd annual Transcatheter Cardiovascular Therapeutics (TCT) scientific symposium, sponsored by the Cardiovascular Research Foundation.
Kids In Pakistan Without Food, Facing DeathSeptember 20, 2010 7:12 am | Comments
More than 100,000 children left homeless by Pakistan's floods are in danger of dying because they simply do not have enough to eat. The aid group Doctors Without Borders has already converted one ward into an inpatient feeding center. By Margie Mason, AP Medical Writer September 20, 2010 SUKKUR, Pakistan (AP) — Suhani Bunglani fans flies away from her two baby girls as one sleeps motionless while the other stares without blinking at the roof of their tent, her empty belly bulging beneath a green flowered shirt.
Video Games Lead to Faster Decisions That Are No Less AccurateSeptember 20, 2010 7:12 am | Comments
Cognitive scientists from the University of Rochester have discovered that playing action video games trains people to make the right decisions faster. The researchers found that video game players develop a heightened sensitivity to what is going on around them, and this benefit doesn't just make them better at playing video games, but improves a wide variety of general skills that can help with everyday activities like multitasking, driving, reading small print, keeping track of friends in a crowd, and navigating around town.
Follow Up: 911 Calls Detail Johns Hopkins Shooting AfermathSeptember 20, 2010 7:11 am | Comments
BALTIMORE (AP) — A frightened patient at Johns Hopkins Hospital told 911 operators that her parents were trying to keep the door to her room shut after they heard gunfire. Recordings of 911 released Friday to The Associated Press detail the tense moments after a man opened fire on a surgeon who was updating him on his mother's condition.
Exploring The Power Of Virtual Surgical PlanningSeptember 20, 2010 7:11 am | Comments
Materialise announced that it would lend its expertise in virtual surgical planning to researcher Dr. J. B. Jupiter, Chief Hand and Upper Extremity Service at Massachusetts General Hospital. Through an AO funded, IRB approved study, Dr. Jupiter will use SurgiCase® Orthopaedics to explore the advantages of computer-assisted surgery, virtual 3D planning and intra-operative use of patient-specific surgical guides in osteotomies to correct compound wrist fractures-the first research project of its kind.
The "Surgeon's Dread"September 20, 2010 7:10 am | by Susan Spencer-Wendel | Comments
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — It has been called the "surgeon's dread." The most common mistake made in surgery, according to medical journals, is leaving a sponge or instrument inside a patient. County Judge Nelson Bailey knows precisely what happens when something is left behind.
Diaries Can Help ICU Patients From Developing PTSDSeptember 17, 2010 5:44 am | Comments
Some intensive care patients develop post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD) after the trauma of a difficult hospital stay, and this is thought to be exacerbated by delusional or fragmentary memories of their time in the intensive care unit. Now researchers writing in BioMed Central's open access journal Critical Care have found that if staff and close relatives make a diary for patients, featuring information about their stay and accompanied by photographs, PTSD rates can be significantly reduced.
Reducing Blood Clot Risks Before Hip Replacement SurgerySeptember 17, 2010 5:26 am | Comments
Risk factors for venous thromboembolism after total hip replacement (THR) surgery were identified in a new study published in the September 2010 issue of The Journal of Bone and Joint Surgery (JBJS) . While the rate of thromboembolism has been significantly reduced through medication, understanding the risk factors could further reduce the likelihood of patients developing this potentially fatal complication.
South African Hospital Charged With Organ TraffickingSeptember 17, 2010 5:08 am | Comments
Donna Bryson, AP (AP) A major South African hospital chain and its chief executive have been charged after years of investigation into a human organ trafficking case that stretched from Israel to South Africa to Brazil. Police spokesman Vish Naidoo said 11 suspects were ordered to appear in court in November.


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Summer Prelaw Institute for High School Students
IIT Chicago-Kent's Summer Prelaw Institute offers a unique and unforgettable opportunity for motivated high school students who are interested in getting a "taste" of the law school experience. The rigorous and intensive two-week program will provide rising high school juniors and seniors with an in-depth and hands-on law school experience.
Students will read actual cases, participate in lively class discussions, and will be taught by law professors in law school classrooms at IIT Chicago-Kent. When not studying case law, students will learn oral advocacy and the fundamentals of the adversarial system from Chicago-Kent's nationally renowned trial advocacy faculty—including essential courtroom trial techniques. Students will demonstrate their knowledge by drafting a legal memorandum and acting as an attorney in a challenging mock trial.
2014 Program Dates
Session 1: Monday, June 16, to Monday, June 30
Session 2: Tuesday, July 15, to Tuesday, July 29
Application Deadline: May 15, 2014
>> Learn more about applying for admission to the Summer Prelaw Institute.
>> Find out about tuition and applying for partial-tuition scholarships.
The goals of the Summer Prelaw Institute are threefold:
- to introduce the participants to law school and the legal profession;
- to provide the participants with a taste of classical doctrinal studies and essential professional skills; and
- to educate and prepare participants for the law school application and admissions process.
>> View the Summer Prelaw Institute curriculum.
What to Expect
- You will learn how the American legal system works by reading and investigating landmark cases.
- You will delve into the controversies courts struggle with as they attempt to apply the protections of the Fourth Amendment to rapidly evolving technologies, such as GPS tracking.
- You will not sit idly by and listen to lectures—you will be an active participant in a law school classroom, taught by law school professors.
- You will be introduced to underlying principles of law.
- You will be provided with a tour of the Cook County Criminal Courthouse or Cook County Jail.
- You will draft a legal memorandum, based on actual cases, that will be critiqued by Chicago-Kent faculty.
- You will be trained by Chicago-Kent trial advocacy faculty in the fundamentals of trying a case.
- You will practice essential legal skills such as opening and closing arguments, preparing cases, and readying witnesses for cross-examinations.
- You may build your legal career portfolio by having your oral arguments, memoranda, and mock trial taped. Participants may have their work captured electronically in an e-portfolio that they can take as a keepsake for both academic/professional and personal use.


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OP is probably right. I add "follow the money".
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The snobbish Tulsa powers that be chased off WalMart from building a unique urban style supercenter. They were terribly sniffy and condescending about ´eeewww - WalMart, how gouche!´ This was at least 15 years ago and there remains at least a half a square mile of vacant lots, but they did manage to build an unnecessary new ballpark by assessing all downtown businesses per their square footage to pay for the "benefit" they received from the ballpark.(?)Downtown Tulsa remains dead today, the only activity being a bunch of trendy bar/restaurants that last a year or two for each reincarnation.The biggest complaint about downtown right now is there isn´t a grocery store. Wait -- wasn´t WalMart going to have groceries? Oh well, never mind.
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Right. There´s only football in Green Bay.
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Great idea!That baseball stadium will provide a tremendous economic boost to the community during the 8 month Siberian winters in Green Bay!
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Green Bay, Wisconsin. Hub of the western cultural world.You go mayor. Build that stadium with other peoples money. Watch those same people who expect to come in to watch a game for a couple of bucks and are shocked to find the admission climbing past $40 on into the stratosphere head on out of town----permanently....
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trading a Walmsrt for a stadium helps nobody but the politicians whose palms are getting greased by the owners and developers...the local towns people get zip.Read "Free Lunch" by David Cay Johnston and see how much we´re getting F*d by all those people who talk about how much money the city will make off of increased tax revenues and how many more jobs there´ll be...all smoke and mirrors.
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In "Shigging," we ask pitmasters to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they're allowed to lie once. This week, we're asking Todd David, pitmaster at Cattleack Barbecue, how he smokes his brisket. What is the name o ... More >>
Their camcorders and phones recording, about 10 cop-watchers stand on an embankment between six busy lanes and four gas pumps at an Arlington gas station, wondering why cops keep coming for what looks like a simple traffic stop. Don't all these cops have something better to do, they think, like figh ... More >>
Want to buy a variety of brand-name wine, beer, and liquor practically at cost? Or shop an almost unprecedented number of Texas-made whiskeys, craft beers, and wines? Or choose from thousands and thousands of alcoholic beverages, a selection that dwarfs almost every other retailer in the area? Then ... More >>
A study published earlier this month in the Journal of Transport and Health features some data that you might find disturbing if you enjoy many of the trappings of suburbia. According to two engineers from the University of Connecticut and Colorado University, obesity -- and related conditions lik ... More >>
In "Shigging," we ask pitmasters to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they're allowed to lie once. This week, we're asking Justin Fourton, pitmaster at Pecan Lodge in Deep Ellum (maybe you've heard of it), how he s ... More >>
In a new series we're calling Shigging, we'll be asking pitmasters to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. If you're unfamiliar with the term "shigging," here's our definition: An attempt to steal secrets from a barbecue badass in order to make your own barbecue better. Some peo ... More >>
Cheer up, Dallas. Yes, your hometown newspaper just completely snubbed you with its Best Neighborhoods list, and, yes, the chances that The Dallas Morning News will ever include any place south of Plano are close to nil, but there is hope, a development on the horizon that just might thrust Dallas b ... More >>
Design District stalwart Meddlesome Moth celebrates its fourth birthday this week. The last fourth birthday party I attended featured a face painter, a quarter sheet cake from Costco, and a trove of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot merchandise. The proprietors of the Dallas Observer's favorite be ... More >>
Looking back, I think I had been scared to try smoking a brisket. Having never seen chunks of meat that size back home, it's a scary commitment for two reasons. One, you can't eat a brisket by yourself. That means you have to invite people round for brisket. This has to be done in advance, and that ... More >>
Summer is almost out, which in many locales means the end is nigh for both camp and barbecue. But this is Texas, when meat-torching season never ends and camping is year-round, presuming there's meat and fire available. So it's not surprise that even in January, you can go to meat camp. And not jus ... More >>
Behind the scenes of the death match between Big Ag and undercover animal-rights activists.
The biotechnology firm AquaBounty has spent years working on a genetically enhanced salmon that grows faster and bigger. USA Today reported the company has spent more than $67 million since 1991 trying to get this Chinook salmon spliced with DNA from a fast growing eel-like fish to market. Eating ... More >>
This Saturday and Sunday is the Jewish holiday of Purim. What's Purim? The short answer, "Jewish Halloween" is also the wrong answer. But there are costumes involved as well as a lot of drinking, so it's easy to see where folks could get confused. So real quick: Purim is the biblical story of Queen ... More >>
Dallas-based Brinker International has joined a growing list of restaurants that have pledged to improve conditions for pigs in their supply chain. The group owns Chili's, which is responsible for 1,500 casual restaurants known for their baby back ribs. The new policy also applies to Maggiano's and ... More >>
Speaking of pork, the nonprofit, one might say PETA-like, organization Mercy For Animals, is none to happy with where Walmart gets theirs. Which at least partially explains why the group plans to have a caged, bloody pig at the Walmart Neighborhood Market at Central and Hall Street this morning at 1 ... More >>
Tim Love, you cheeky monkey: Costco wasn't enough was it? After announcing a line or sauces and rubs to be featured at the discount store, and endorsing Hellmann's mayonnaise in a mock culinary competition, the Fort Worth chef known for his burger shack, Woodshed and the more polished Lonesome Dove, ... More >>
K. Flay Last Night: Grieves, Budo, K. Flay House of Blues December 14, 2011 Better than: Hip-hop in a suburban church. This suburban triple-header brought out a crowd of 150 or so to the Cambridge Room at House of Blues, and the almost exclusively white 20-something crowd was treated to a ... More >>
It didn't take a study of Vermont farmers markets to tell us what we knew for a long time: Supermarkets aren't cheaper. That being said and this being spring, it's a good time to riff on farmers' markets, plus give you a few shopping tips on how to navigate them. 1. Find Your Market I always ass ... More >>
Flickr user: lopolisRight about now Progress Dallas's peoples are at Dallas City Hall dropping off the petitions it says will most definitely trigger a local option election allowing Dallas residents the opportunity to vote for drenching the dry parts of town in beer and wine. Progress Dallas say ... More >>
Till not so long ago, on Webb Chapel Road just north of Northwest Highway -- and directly across the street from Bachman Lake -- there sat a decaying apartment complex that looked as though a small gust of wind would reduce it to splinters. Eventually, it was surrounded by chain-link fence, which ... More >>
Ron NatinskySo, then, back to Memorial Auditorium for a moment. But only because council member Ron Natinsky shares with Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway the hope that sooner than later, the city can and will give the venerable arena a makeover and begin marketing it as an alternative to the Nokia Th ... More >>
Patrick MichelsEach week, Pairing Off attempts to find just the right bottle of wine to go with ordinary food.As a cereal, Rice Krispies were never a favorite. Yeah, they had that snap, crackle, pop gimmick, but you still needed five or six tablespoons of sugar to make them palatable.Then someone ... More >>
Of course, nobody really wins on City of Ate. But if we ever do try prize giveaways again, there's a mess of stuff to pick from. Let's see here...a miniature bottle of Tuaca, a big ol' container of Chef Paul Prudhomme's Magic Seasoning Blend, a packet of seeds and oats that may be cereal sent by the ... More >>
Alex FloresWhen people say 'it tastes like cardboard,' what do they really mean? Well, after taking a bite from a box left over from my last Costco excursions--a corrugated job with a slick, four-color facing--I can report with some authority it has more character than the batch of McDonald's fri ... More >>
Tom PettersFirst there was Bernie Madoff; then, Alan Stanford. Then came Minnesota's Tom Petters, who, as The Wall Street Journal documented in April, was popped by federal authorities who claimed he operated a $3-billion Ponzi scheme built upon his taking investors' hard-earned scratch to buy flat- ... More >>
Irish Rover8250 Gaylord Parkway, Frisco214-618-6222No need to venture here for the food. You can also ignore the decor, a den of predictable Irish-themed odds and ends surrounded by dark wood and glass--what anyone gets when they call up and order an authentic look-alike.Go for the beer and the folk ... More >>
Reikyu Sushi5321 E. Mockingbird Lane214-823-3772Has there ever been a craze as pervasive as sushi? America's passion for raw fish began to build sometime in the very early 80s, which means it's closing in on 40 years. That tops disco fever by 34 years. Our bitterness toward Japan for that faux pas a ... More >>
Style and fusion overwhelm simpler Italian pleasures
Frankly, the "today's member" part of the sign had us laughing for, like, two minutes. A Friend of Unfair Park sends this from the Costco in Lewisville, where gas is well below the local average, which is $2.93 for a gallon of plain ol' regular, says AAA. But the most interesting thing to note from ... More >>
Local, state and federal law enforcement officials are offering a reward of up to $90,000 for "information leading to the arrest and conviction of The Scarecrow Bandit[s]," suspected of being responsible for at least 21 violent bank robberies in North Texas since last July. They might get to save th ... More >>
The Modern plays host to a King
Is the mayor-elect's appearance of human decency just a fluke?
Finally I get why nothing City Hall says to me makes sense
Because nothing says "clean tushie" like aqua chenille... Yes, your baby is very cute. You have dressed him/her in a very adorable/fun onesie/twosie with matching hat/shoes. You splurged/saved by buying this adorable/fun outfit at Baby Chanel/Costco, and I think that's stupid/cool. I'm so glad you a ... More >>
Kunkle must teach them to spell d-e-m-o-c-r-a-c-y
Critics of a private prison firm that ran two juvenile boot camps in Dallas wonder where the love is at these "tough love academies"


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NVDAILY.COM | Reader Recipes
Posted December 5, 2013 | Leave a comment
Orange Creamsicle Salad
1 pkg. (3.25 oz.) tapioca pudding mix
In large sauce pan, combine pudding mixes, Jell-O, water and juice; stirring well. Cook to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and cool to room temperature. Stir in Cool Whip and oranges. Transfer to serving dish and chill well.
Debbie Culp
Copyright © The Northern Virginia Daily | nvdaily.com | 152 N. Holliday St., Strasburg, Va. 22657 | (800) 296-5137


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Royal blue, black and white " and they lived happily ever after" wedding cake
atie and Matt chose a 3 tiered wedding cake with the words " And they lived happily ever after"on. Their wedding colours are Black, Royal blue and white. The cake design was kept simple to focus on the words and the glittered Royal blue hearts. They provided the engraved acrylic heart topper. Their cake flavours are 12" bottom tier : Vanilla sponge filled with strawberry buttercream and covered with white chocolate ganache, Middle tiere 10" vanilla sponge filled with Lemon buttercream and covered with white chocolate ganache , Top tier 8" chocolate sponge filled with chocolate buttercream and covered with dark chocolate ganache
Cakes o'Licious ~ Portsmouth www.facebook.com/Cakesolicious


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Feeling bad at work can be a good thing
Researchers have discovered that paradoxically it can be good to feel bad at work. It is generally assumed that people who have negative feelings at work are a detriment to their companies, but this does not appear to always be true.
It can be good to feel bad and bad to feel good


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Water vapour detected around a 'hot Jupiter'
In a quest for life beyond earth, scientists at the US Naval Research Laboratory (NRL) have detected water vapour in the atmosphere of a 'hot Jupiter' outside our solar system.
The team applied a sophisticated Doppler technique to the infra-red to directly detect the planet and demonstrate the presence of water in its atmosphere.
The planet, named tau Boo b, orbits the nearby star tau Bootis and belongs to a class of exotic planets called 'hot Jupiters' that are not found in our solar system.
"The detection of water vapour in tau Boo b is an exciting and important step in understanding the composition of these exotic planets," said an ecstatic John Carr, a researcher in NRL's remote sensing division.
The result also demonstrates the power of this technique for measuring water and other molecules in the atmospheres of planets- giving scientists a new tool to study the nature and evolution of extrasolar planets.
A 'hot Jupiter' is a massive extrasolar planet that orbits very close to its parent star.
Unlike our Jupiter, which is fairly cold and has an orbital period of about 12 years, tau Boo b orbits its star every 3.3 days and is heated to extreme temperatures by its proximity to the star.
The research team studied data collected at the WM Keck Observatory in Hawaii, using the Near Infrared Echelle Spectrograph instrument.
By comparing the molecular signature of water to the combined light spectrum of the planet and star, the scientists were able to measure the motion of the planet as it orbits the star and establish the presence of water vapour in the planet's atmosphere.
The team also determined that the planet is six times more massive than Jupiter, said the study reported by the Astrophysical Journal Letters.
Prior to this, scientists have reported detections of water for just a few other extrasolar planets.
The research team included scientists from California Institute of Technology, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, Pennsylvania State University and University of Arizona.
(Posted on 20-03-2014)
Information on States of India:
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Andhra Pradesh Travel Map | Bihar Travel Map | Goa Travel Map | Gujarat Travel Map | Haryana Travel Map | Himachal Pradesh Map | Karnataka Travel Map | Kerala Travel Map | Maharashtra Travel Map | Punjab Travel Map | Rajasthan Travel Map | Sikkim Travel Map | Tamil Nadu Travel Map | Uttar Pradesh Travel Map | West Bengal Travel Map |
Alappuzha | Ernakulam | Idukki | Kannur | Kasaragod | Kollam | Kottayam | Kozhikode | Malappuram | Palakkad | Pathanamthitta | Thiruvananthapuram | Thrissur | Wayanad |
Airports of India | Districts of India | India Pilgrim Centers | Tourism Map of India | National Highways in India | India Railway Routes |
Ahmadabad | Bangalore | Chennai | Coimbatore | Delhi | Hyderabad/Secunderabad | Kochi | Kolkata | Mumbai | Pondicherry | Pune | Surat |


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Music News
Sarah Buxton Gives Birth to Baby Boy
December 19, 2012 / 17:40
It's a boy for Sarah Buxton! The 'Outside My Window' singer recently took to her official Twitter account to announce the birth of her first bundle of joy, baby Marshall. "Tom and I are in love with our sweet baby boy, Marshall!" tweets the ecstatic new mother. "He came December 4th. My little Sagittarius." Buxton [...]


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Samsung Galaxy S 4G vs. Motorola Atrix 4G Dogfight Pt. 2Aaron Baker - Member
It's another Android smartphone dogfight! Aaron pits the Samsung Galaxy S 4G against the Motorola Atrix 4G in fantastic head to head battle. On one hand, the Galaxy S 4G has a 1 GHz Hummingbird processor, 4-inch Super AMOLED display, 5-megapixel camera, front-facing camera for uploading Facebook photos, and Android 2.2 with Samsung's TouchWiz UI. The Motorola Atrix 4G has a 1 GHz NVIDIA Tegra 2 dual-core processor, 4-inch qHD display, 5-megapixel camera, front-facing camera, and Android 2.2 with MOTOBLUR.
They're both high-end smartphones with awesome feature sets, but only one can win the battle. Which one will take home the gold? Which carrier will be the champion? Part 2 of 2.


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Alfred State College - Alumni News
During Homecoming 2011, five Alfred State College athletic alumni were inducted into the athletic department hall of fame. Swimmer John Meade, track & field athlete Damian Rodriguez, lacrosse player Matthew Covert, baseball player Joe Greany, and swimmer Ashley Vogl will join the 56 inducted athletes.
Alfred State College will once again welcome alumni and families of current students for Homecoming/Family Weekend 2011, Thursday, Sept. 22-Sunday, Sept. 25, on the ASC campus.
Hundreds of visitors are expected to converge on campus to reconnect with old friends or visit with their students, perhaps for the first time since dropping them off for the fall semester in August.
Jeffrey Stevens, assistant professor, and Sean Kelley, adjunct instructor, Electrical Trades Department, Alfred State College, recently earned the industry's leading recognition of expertise as a certified installer of solar electric systems (aka "photovoltaic" or "PV" systems) from the North American Board of Certified Energy Practitioners (NABCEP).
Hornell City Court Judge and associate professor in the Business Department at Alfred State College Joseph E. Damrath will serve as keynote speaker at the College's annual New Student Convocation in August.
Several Alfred State College athletes have earned honors from the NJCAA, Region III, and the Western New York Athletic Conference for outstanding academic achievements. Three Pioneers were recipients of the NJCAA Award for Superior Academic Achievement, three more were honored with the NJCAA Award for Exemplary Academic Achievement, 11 were named Academic All-Region, and 15 were named Academic All-Conference.
This award is given to outstanding students in the masonry curriculum. This year's winners, Jermaine Helire, Auburn, and Brian Johnson, Black Creek, each received $500 checks.
President Dr. John M. Anderson welcomed dignitaries to campus recently as he, and they, broke ground for the college's new Student Leadership Center. The Center, destined to be unique to higher educ
Alfred State College will name its auditorium for longtime employee Anthony Cappadonia following the successful completion of a campaign to raise funds for renovations of the facility, President Dr. John M. Anderson announced recently.
Senior students enrolled in ASC's automotive service technician curriculum took a well-deserved lap in the winner's circle recently when they and the car they modified—a 2003 Honda Insight—for the Watkins Glen Green Grand Prix won a fuel economy challenge in their class in the seventh annual contest which promotes awareness of environmentally friendl
The Computerized Design and Manufacturing Department at Alfred State College's School of Applied Technology, Wellsville, was the recipient recently of a $10,000 donation from Praxair, Inc., Tonawanda, to be used for student scholarship


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The majority of the crushed red pepper shakers have glass bodies. This will create a more elegant table setting. However, despite the fact that the glass is thick and can withstand a beating, chances are you will break a few, so you will want to have spares. Pizzerias that experience high traffic and expect the shakers to be overly abused should consider the plastic models, which are more durable than glass.
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