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New England Patriots
New England Patriots Tickets
New England Patriots tickets
for the 2014 NFL season right here at your one-stop shop for NFL tickets — Razorgator! Quarterback Tom Brady, wide receiver Danny Amendola, and wide receiver Julian Edelman have the Patriots poised to win another AFC East title. With the additions of Darrelle Revis and Eric Decker, the Pats are on their way to Super Bowl XLIX. Not sure where to sit in Foxborough? View our Gillette Stadium seating chart before purchasing your prime New England Patriots tickets. Razorgator is your hassle free, dependable resource for Patriots tickets throughout the season.
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New England Patriots 2014 News and Updates
10/23/14 - It's Week 8 in the NFL, and the New England Patriots find themselves in a familiar spot: first place in the AFC East. After a tough loss in Kansas City, the Pats have roared back with three wins: over Cincinnati, followed by victories against division rivals Buffalo and the Jets.
… more
10/10/14 - The Patriots are back, and they're looking better than ever. If Tom Brady and the New England Patriots proved anything with Sunday night's game against the Cincinnati Bengals, it's that all this hoopla about dissension in the ranks is nothing but noise. Quarterback Tom Brady is looking like the same guy who led them to Super Bowl victories three times, and his confidence and characteristic charisma remained intact from the first kickoff until the final completion.
Expect a Gronk spike or two when they head to upstate New York next week to take on the Buffalo Bills, and for the theatrics to continue when they return to play the New York Jets in front of home crowd only days later, under bright Thursday night lights.
9/16/14 - The New England Patriots are back to their familiar winning ways! Tom Brady and Co. cruised right past the controversy stricken Minnesota Vikings (30-7), effectively bouncing back from their season opening loss to Miami. The Pats will look to extend this winning momentum into Week 3, when they host rookie Derek Carr and the Oakland Raiders at Gillette Stadium. Score New England Patriots tickets for this AFC battle starting at $116.
9/8/14 - Tom Brady and Co. may have lost their season opener, but the hordes of Boston faithful refuse to let one game rain on their parade. Rob Gronkowski made a strong debut back from injury (1 TD) and Tom Brady performed extremely well under relentless pressure from Miami's revamped O-line. The Pats travel to Minnesota to face the Vikings, who blew out the St. Louis Rams on their road opener. Get New England Patriots tickets for this Sunday's (9/14) thriller in Minneapolis at a minimum of $75. Be there to see if Belichick's crew can achieve their first regular season victory!
8/29/14 - Even though they lost 16-13, the New England Patriots have to feel confident with the way they closed out the preseason against the New York Giants on Thursday evening in MetLife Stadium. New Englands 2nd round pick Jimmy Garoppolo played the entire game for the Pats and performed great in only his fourth preseason appearance. New England will now gear up for their Week 1 game at the Miami Dolphins where, according to RazorGator, Patriots tickets are going for $222 on average.
8/27/14 - The New York Giants averted O-line calamity when they got word that left guard Jeff Schwartz will only miss a handful of games after dislocating his toe. The Giants will likely start second-round pick Weston Richburg, with an open opportunity to impress in place of Schwartz. See how the O-line manages without one of its starters, with New York Giants tickets to tomorrow's fifth and final exhibition game at MetLife Stadium Thursday night. Take advantage of the fact that NY had extra gametime this summer, because you won't see extreme bargain prices like $14 to get-in tomorrow when the regular season starts!
8/27/14 - The New England Patriots have made a splash on the trading block, by acquiring tight end Tim Wright (plus a draft pick) from Tampa Bay, in exchange for six-time Pro Bowl offensive lineman Logan Mankins. Although Mankins was signed through 2016, this is a time of much movement in the NFL as teams begin to finalize their 53-man rosters. The Pats may test out their new player in their fourth and final preseason game on the year: tomorrow at MetLife Stadium, against the New York Giants. Expect to see excited and impressive rookie quarterback Jimmy Garappolo starting in the finale; he's completed 24 of 37, for 334 yards, 4 TDs with no interceptions.
8/25/14 - This Thursday the Patriots will once again close out their preseason with a game against the New York Football Giants for the tenth year in a row. New England will send out second round pick Jimmy Garoppolo to quarterback the team amid speculation that backup quarterback Ryan Mallett will be traded soon. According to RazorGator Patriots tickets for this game are the cheapest they have been since 2009 at an average price of just $87 for tickets.
8/19/14 - The Patriots went 12-4 last season, clinching the AFC East for the tenth time in the past eleven seasons. New England proceeded to fall in the AFC Championship game to the eventual Super Bowl runner-up Denver Broncos. In the preseason opener, the Patriots fell to the Redskins despite a promising performance by rookie quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo. The second preseason game saw Tom Brady falter, but with the imminent return of tight-end Rob Gronkowski and the acquisition of shutdown cornerback Darrelle Revis, fans should to be flocking to buy Patriots tickets.
8/18/14 - Tom Brady got action in the Patriots second preseason game, and didn't get off to the best start. He threw an interception to Eagles cornerback Cary Williams, who returned it 77 yards for a touchdown. But that was one of just two incompletions for Brady who finished the game 8-for-10 for 81 yards and a touchdown in addition to the interception. In the high-scoring preseason game, the Patriots prevailed 42-35.The next chance to get Patriots tickets is when they face the Carolina Panthers on Friday.
8/11/14 - Ryan Mallett got the start for the New England Patriots in their first preseason game. He failed to live up to the praise the team had given him going just 5-for-12 for 55 yards, and getting sacked once against the Washington Redskins. Tickets averaged $81 for the game, and the Patriots will once again be playing an NFC East opponent, traveling to Philadelphia to play the Eagles on Friday.
8/8/14 - The New England Patriots were one of twelve teams in action on Thursday night when they traveled to the nations capital to scrimmage the Washington Redskins. As expected the Pats franchise quarterback Tom Brady didn't suit up for the game, which they ended up losing by a score of 23-6, but rather Ryan Mallett and rookie Jimmy Garoppolo who played surprisingly well going 9 of 13 for 157 yards and 1 touchdown as Patriots tickets averaged $81 for the road contest according to RazorGator.
8/5/14 – Training camp has been open for some time now, but instead of hitting each other, the New England Patriots tried their strength against another team with the opening of joint practice. The Pats played the first of what's become a traditional training session with the Washington Redskins on Monday, and the results were precisely what Bill Belichick wanted to see. Teammates are learning more about themselves and how they respond full-speed against fresh opponents. Rob Gronkowski sat out of the joint-practice, but a slimmed-down Vince Wilfork was back in action, fully recovered from his torn Achilles. Score New England Patriots tickets and watch these two squads duke it out in the first exhibition game of the year. Sit in the stands at FedEx Field this Thursday (8/7) for as little as $13 and get your first dose of football in 2014!
7/29/14 – Leave it to New England Patriots mastermind Bill Belichick to make a winning move during the frenzy of opening training camp. On Monday, the Pats cleverly claimed rookie running back Tyler Gaffney off waivers, much to the dismay of the Carolina Panthers, who attempted "to sneak their sixth round pick through waivers and onto injured reserve," as reported by Adam Schefter. The youngster did suffer a knee injury that will require surgery and keep him sidelined all year, but he'll come back to play the Patriots Way. Don't miss any of these smart moves by the front office and their players with New England Patriots tickets in 2014.
7/22/14 – If you plan to attend the open-to-the-public New England Patriots training camp days this week, don't fret if you fail to see Rob Gronkowski on the practice field. The tight end is on track to start during Week 1 of the regular season, but he will be most likely be placed on the physically unable to perform list for camp, alongside nose tackle Vince Wilfork who is also eyeing a Sept. 7 return. See this bone-crushing duo back at full strength with New England Patriots tickets at the start of the 2014 season. The Pats will travel down to Miami for their Week 1 game against the Dolphins; tickets are in high demand for this match, but you can secure Patriots tickets on Razorgator for as low as $65.
7/16/14 – New England Patriots tickets rank in the top five priciest NFL teams. The average ticket at Gillette Stadium for the Patriots' 2014 season currently stands at $363.83—a 31.1% increase in price since last year. The Pats do know how to entertain, and the fact that the team has posted seasons above .500 in the last 14 years, have won three Super Bowls (and appeared in two more championships) since 2001 shows the proof in the pudding. The most expensive home game of the year is, predictably, the Brady Vs. Manning bout, which averages at $517.21 and offers a get-in value of $169. The cheapest New England Patriots tickets at home are found in their Week 17 matchup against the Buffalo Bills, averaging $278.45 a seat.
7/9/14 – USA Today recently ranked the New England Patriots as the smartest franchise in the league, having a regular season record of 61-19 from 2009-13 with payrolls that were consistently in the bottom half of the NFL. This comes thanks in large part to the one-two punch of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Not to mention, their highly productive draft picks through the years, their enigmatic strategies and terse media relations—all components of "The Patriots Way" that makes this team so predominant. See this sharp team in exactly one month for the first game of preseason with New England Patriots tickets. Pay an incredibly low $8 for their Aug 8 visit to the Washington Redskins at FedEx Field.
7/2/14 –Bill Belichick and his New England "Patriots Way" may be near flawless, but this is football and nothing ever goes as planned. The Patriots built one of the most promising secondaries in recent years coming into the 2014 season; unfortunately they'll be missing their No. 2 cornerback for the first four games. Brandon Browner will be out of the Pats lineup to start the year, following his violation of the NFL's policy on PEDs while on the Seahawks last season. Luckily, the sidelining comes at a relatively calm part of New England' schedule, as the Pats are pitted against Miami, Minnesota, Oakland and Kansas City—none of whom exclusively run a deep passing game. If you're a Browner fan, score New England Patriots tickets when they host the Cincinnati Bengals on Oct 5. Get into Gillette Stadium for a $120 minimum.
6/24/14 – It may be summer break, but New England Patriots workhorse Tom Brady won't be taking any days off. The quarterback is one of many signal callers in the NFL currently seeking guidance from former MLB pitcher Tom House (founder of the National Pitching Association) to fine tune skills and improve play. The legendary arm guru even likened Brady to Hall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan, as the 36 year-old intends to play "beyond 40." Pats fan or not, it's exciting to imagine that Brady can get
even better
than his recent level of play. If you want to see Brady's improvement in action then score New England Patriots tickets now!
6/17/14 – The New England Patriots have kicked off their three-day minicamp today, though don't expect anything radically different than what the team has been doing all month. Unlike other squads, Bill Belichick and the Patriots have had outstanding attendance through the offseason, mandatory or not. Things to look out for are the assimilation of veteran Darrelle Revis on the Pats' secondary, the return of Vince Wilfork post Achilles surgery, and how newly acquired free agent rookie Seali'i Epenesa fares at defensive tackle. Get your New England Patriots tickets and see how these components iron out before start of season!
6/10/14- Tom Brady passionately addressed the New England Patriots, stating, "I think winning games is the most important thing, certainly for this organization," throwing in some mental training along with physical practice. Patriots fans are undoubtedly overjoyed to hear this from their franchise QB, who will enter the season as he always does: chock full of determination towards another Super Bowl victory. What's more, other New England teammates are bursting with the same energy as their lieutenant; defensive huddle leader Jerod Mayo is back on the field, after tearing his pectoral muscle last October. The Pats can hardly contain their fortitude heading into preseason, see them unleash in 2014 with New England Patriots tickets!
6/3/14 - Still looking to beat the Denver Broncos in the offseason "arms race," the New England Patriots top the rumor headlines this week, following a visit from a very valuable player. Needing to add depth at tight end, the Patriots are reportedly in talks to sign Jermichael Finley (Green Bay), who missed most of last season because of an acute neck injury. With Rob Gronkowski's health always a factor and the Aaron Hernandez debacle, rookie Asa Watson is the only other option at the position. Will New England be toting a flashy new tight end in 2014? Score New England Patriots tickets to find out!
5/28/14 - The 2014 NFL Draft and free agency may have come and gone, but the New England Patriots aren't done picking up acquisitions. Belichick and company have signed two rookie free agent wide receivers: Wilson Van Hooser (Troy State) and Reese Wiggins (East Carolina). The roster has now reached the maximum of 90 players—but not all will make the team this summer. Get your New England Patriots tickets now and see which men are left standing in 2014!
5/19/14 - With rookie minicamp coming to a close, the New England Patriots filled out their roster even further, signing a handful of players in the last week. The Pats recently inked deals with rookie free agents Malcolm Butler, Taylor McCuller and Derrick Johnson, which brings New England's squad up to 87 players—three away from the 90-man limit during voluntary OTAs. It is palpable that the Pats are interested in adding depth at linebacker, holding tryouts for veterans like James Anderson, Stevenson Sylvester and Marvin Mitchell last week. Stay tuned because the organization will likely wait until June 1 to secure veterans, as they do not count as compensatory pick. Get your New England Patriots tickets now to see the finished product take shape after summer!
5/13/14- The New England Patriots' 2014 NFL Draft class has left many scratching their heads—though we all know Bill Belichick is precisely calculated in every move he makes. New England drafted a player with injury concerns (DT Dominique Easley, two knee surgeries), picked a QB as early as Round 2 (Jimmy Garappolo), traded down in Round 3, selected a special teams standout (Jemea Taylor), and an undersized receiver (Jeremy Gallon). With each subsequent pick, it became clear that the Pats were concerned with building the franchise for the future, as opposed to selecting to fill immediate holes (TE, RB, S) this year. The nine rookies will add even more depth to their roster; see what Belichick plans to do with the additions in 2014 with New England Patriots tickets!
4/17/14 - The New England Patriots are gunning to win the AFC arms race with these big offseason moves: in addition to re-signing Julian Edelman, they picked up Darrelle Revis, Brandon Browner and Brandon LaFell. See how the new-look squad fares with New England Patriots tickets for preseason 2014! The Pats will open their four exhibition games at the Washington Redskins during Week 1—where New England's re-built secondary will try their hand against a fresh RG3. The Patriots will then travel back to Gillette for back-to-back games: Week 2 brings the Eagles into town and Week 3 brings the Panthers. New England will conclude preseason with a visit to the younger Manning, at the New York Giants on Aug 28. The Pats tend to set up joint practices with visiting teams, so expect to see Chip Kelly on the sidelines with Belichick this summer.
2/12/14 – Will either of the Patriots top two free agents - Aqib Talib or Julian Edelman – resign with New England? Talib was injured in the last two Championship games but the corner's contributions on defense make him a candidate for a big contract. For two consecutive years, New England has begun the offseason with their leading receiver a free agent; Edelman has lined himself up, to pocket some big money! "Minitron" quickly became one of Tom Brady's favorite wide receivers, with over 100 catches and 1,000 plus yards on the season. But, will the Pats put their money elsewhere; perhaps for a TE or bigger WR? While we wait to find out, let's take a look at the Patriots 2014 opponents at Gillette Stadium: Broncos, Bills, Dolphins, Bengals, Bears, Lions, and Raiders.
1/13/14 - The stage is set for yet another Tom Brady-Peyton Manning showdown in round three of
. The Patriots handled Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis Colts on Saturday, with a strong 43-22 victory, to set up the AFC postseason dream game. Plagued by injuries and a dwindling roster, New England has arguably been the most exciting team to watch this season, with Brady carrying the novice team all the way to the AFC Conference Championship, but can Bill Belichick take this team to
Super Bowl XLVIII
? Will Brady prove he is Manning's kryptonite this Sunday at Mile High? You've got to be there to see the postseason game we've all been waiting for. New England Patriots tickets are $797 on average and $336 at the cheapest.
1/6/14 - Tom Brady and company will come out of their first round bye week to take on the Indianapolis Colts this Saturday at Gillette Stadium. Andrew Luck looked like Tom Brady in the Wild Card round when he rallied past Kansas City to advance to the AFC divisional round, but Bill Belichick won't let that happen this
weekend. Score New England Patriots tickets for just $254—the cheapest average price this round.
2013 Season
12/30/13 - On a rain-soaked Sunday, the New England Patriots defeated the Buffalo Bills, 34-20, with the help of show-stopping RB LaGarrette Blount. With the win, the Patriots are kings of the AFC East and scored a first-round bye, despite missing the No. 1 seed to Denver. New England will return on January 11 for the AFC Divisional game to host the highest remaining seeded winner of the Wild Card round: the Bengals are favored to square off against the undefeated-at-home Patriots after Wild Card weekend. Get ready to watch Tom Brady's offensive prowess size up against one of the toughest defenses in the league. New England Patriots tickets are a steal, with the lowest average among second round playoff games, at just $381 on average and $142 to get-in!
12/23/13 - The New England Patriots bowled over the Baltimore Ravens with a breezy 41-7 victory on the road. The Patriots frustrated the Super Bowl defenders who knocked them out of playoffs last year, and put the heat on Joe Flacco, who threw two interceptions and could not escape the pressure from an uncompromising front seven. With the Miami Dolphins' loss to the Buffalo Bills later in the day, the Pats secured their 5th straight AFC East title (and 10th in 11 seasons), while Bill Belichick scored his 11th division crown. New England is set to host Buffalo in their last regular season game this Sunday, tickets are moderately price at $223 on average, but $130 minimum.
12/16/13- The New England Patriots failed to clinch both a division title and the No.1 seed in the AFC when they fell to the resurgent Miami Dolphins, 20-24, in Florida on Sunday. Tom Brady could not rally the team for another come-from-behind performance, his last-ditch fourth-down pass intercepted in the end zone with two seconds left. Next week is critical for both playoff gunners. New England will meet Baltimore on Sunday afternoon, with an opportunity to snap the Ravens' playoff chances. New England Patriots tickets average at $217 and $94 minimum to see the boys bounce back on the road.
12/10/13 - The New England Patriots snuck away with another come-from-behind victory, this time, against the Cleveland Browns (26-27). Weighted more heavily than the W, is the loss of Rob Gronkowski, who suffered a season-ending MCL and ACL tear from taking a helmet-to-knee hit. Tom Brady will have to make do (again) without his No.1 tight end and with his rookies, starting in Miami against the Dolphins this weekend. If the Pats continue to find ways to triumph adversity, they could clinch the AFC East crown Sunday and be one game away from stealing the No.1 seed in the conference from Denver. New England Patriots tickets in sunny Florida are some of the highest of the week, at $222 on average, but just $24 to get in.
12/3/13 - The New England Patriots nearly fell to the Houston Texans on Sunday, but ultimately escaped with a 34-31 win. A shorthanded defense, plagued by injury, caused the Pats to fall behind early (again!) and forced another comeback victory. The change in pace provoked Texans' DE Antonio Smith to comments alleging "spying on or scouting on" Houston during practice (Spygate 2?). Rather than getting caught up in fallacious accusations, the Pats are focused on the Cleveland Browns, and finding a way to jam elite receiver Josh Gordon next Sunday. New England Patriots tickets are the third highest of the week, at $262 on average.
11/26/13 - The Comeback Kid has done it again—but this time it feels better than ever. The New England Patriots are now the team to beat in the AFC, defeating Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos 34-31. Falling behind a whopping 24 points by halftime, things were looking dismal for the Pats, but then again, with Tom Brady at the helm, no deficit and no team is too much to handle; New England brought it to 31-all, before getting into field goal position for the game-winning kick in overtime. Bill Belichick and company are just one game away from clinching a home game spot in the postseason rush, and they look to their next victims, the Houston Texans, this week to get that much closer. New England Patriots tickets start at just $18 this Sunday; probably the cheapest you'll find for the Pats this season as playoffs are approaching!
11/19/13- The New England Patriots lost to the Carolina Panthers, 24-20, in a wild Monday Night Football game that came down to the final play and a controversial picked up penalty. Tom Brady marched his squad down the field for a last-chance 4th quarter play, heaving a TD pass to Rob Gronkowski, who was "bear-hugged" in the end zone and received a flag. Officials subsequently reversed the penalty, deeming Gronk "uncatchable" to the dismay of NE fans who felt cheated out of a pass interference call, and ultimately the victory. Next week the Patriots will hope to turn things around, and are pitted against the Denver Broncos for one of the most eagerly awaited matchups of the year! The
Brady-Manning showdown
boasts the highest priced tickets of the week, at $479 on average, and a lofty $138 at the lowest. Be there when the two supermen square off in a game everyone will be talking about!
11/12/13 - The New England Patriots will be coming off their bye week to face the scorching Carolina Panthers, whose defense is primed to pounce on the injury laden Patriots that are nearing recovery. In their last game, New England marshaled over 600 points on offense, as Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski went to work to crush the Steelers 31-55. For one of the most anticipated MNF games this season, New England Patriots tickets are $218 on average.
11/4/13 - Spirits are high as the New England Patriots had a banner Sunday, thrashing the Pittsburgh Steelers 55-31. Tom Brady had a stunning game, throwing 23 of 33, completing TD passes to Amendola, Gronkowski (seven catches) and two to Aaron Dobson, while running back Stevan Ridley rushed for 115 yards and two TDs. In the end, the three Pats receivers wound up with a 100-plus-yards game and Brady finished with a season-high 432 yards. Tom Brady and company are heading into a much needed bye week, after a rough Sunday game saw receiver Austin Collie, safety Steve Gregory, defensive end Rob Ninkovich and Alfonzo Dennard all leave the game early with injuries, adding to the plethora the team is already dealing with. The Pats will return Week 11 to face the Carolina Panthers.
10/28/13 - The New England Patriots surmounted a dismal start for a come-from-behind win over the Miami Dolphins, 27-17. Tom Brady has led the team to a 6-2 record, despite gaping holes in the roster, and last Sunday he rallied the squad to overcome a horrendous first half 14-point deficit, starting with 2 touchdowns in 7 plays, after intermission. Right tackle Sebastian Vollmer sustained a leg injury at Miami, joining the long list of the Pats' walking wounded. New England just has to get through their Week 9 game before entering a much needed bye week, for time to heal integral players (and Brady's atrociously swollen knuckles). Ben Roethlisberger and Brady will face off when the Pats host the Pittsburgh Steelers, who are trudging out of Oakland with a loss and a 2-5 record. New England Patriots tickets for Sunday afternoon are (again) the highest priced of the week: $135 to get in and a steep $468 on average.
10/22/13 - The New England Patriots were cut down on Sunday, in a bizarre overtime loss to the New York Jets. A controversial penalty involving a "pushing" call, a new NFL rule which made its game-deciding debut on Sunday, resulted in a 15-yard penalty and determined the field goal position for the Jets, who were able to sink it for the 30-27 win. Bill Belichick takes the blame for the technically good call, despite talk of the Patriots being "robbed" on the ruling. Still, the Patriots let their guard down, allowing the Jets to squeak by them after building a 21-10 lead in the first half of the game, delineating from Tom Brady's pick-six in the third quarter to New York's Anthony Allen, who returned it 23 yards for a touchdown. On the bright side, tight end Rob Gronkowski returned to the Patriots, alleviating some pressure on the offense, with a game-high eight catches for 114 yards. The Patriots will return home and hope to brush off their recent defeat, to take on the Miami Dolphins in Week 8. New England Patriots tickets boast the priciest average seats at $437—the most anticipated game of Week 8.
10/16/13 - Tom Brady and the New England Patriots have done it again. After Pats receivers had a seemingly contagious number of drops through the course of the game, Tom Terrific led a stunning one minute 70-yard touchdown drive down the gridiron, with no timeouts, surmounting in a huge TD pass to rookie Kenbrell Thompkins at 5 seconds left in the game. Sunday's matchup is already considered one of the greatest comebacks in Brady's regular season career. New England moves to 5-1 on the season and, in doing so, end the Drew Brees' and the Saints winning streak. The Pats suffered a couple of jarring injuries in the Saints' matchup: Aqib Talib, tremendously successful at shutting down major threat Jimmy Graham, left the game with a hip injury, Danny Amendola endured a rough hit, may have suffered a concussion, and was helped off the field, and linebacker Jerod Mayo tore his pectoral muscle and will be out for the remainder of the season. Bill Belichick and company will meet Rex Ryan and the New York Jets next Sunday at MetLife Stadium. New England Patriots vs. New York Jets tickets are the third hottest of the bunch, averaging at $211 a seat.
10/8/13 - The high flying New England Patriots have been brought back down to earth after a humbling 6-13 defeat at the hands of the Cincinnati Bengals and their unyielding defense. A disappointed Tom Brady fell just two games short of breaking Drew Brees' all time NFL record of throwing at least one touchdown through 54 games. Amidst a deluge of rain that withered the QB's last-chance drive to tie up the game, New England was denied their winning streak, falling to 4-1. The Patriots performed their worst offensive showing in the Brady period, with just 6 points on the board. While Danny Amendola came back to play in Sunday's game, key tight end Rob Gronkowski may make his season debut in Week 6, after a battery of back injuries and 4 forearm surgeries plagued the star in the off season. The New England Patriots will try and shrug off Sunday's lowly defeat as they head home to host Drew Brees and the undefeated New Orleans Saints in a clash of titans. New England Patriots tickets are expectedly the most expensive game of the week, averaging at $423 and $166 being the lowest price; Patriots vs. Saints tickets are also the most expensive New Orleans road game.
9/24/13 - Bill Belichick and company have maximized their efforts despite a lack of wide receivers for quarterback
Tom Brady
, including Danny Amendola and Shane Vereen- not to mention the anxiously awaited return of Rob Gronkowski. Coinciding with rookie receivers Aaron Dobson and
Kenbrell Thompkins
' determination to assist Brady, it is the Patriots resolute defense who have tied for the fewest touchdowns allowed through the first three games, that has protected their undefeated record thus far. The 3-0 Patriots' will face a demanding schedule, playing the Falcons this Sunday, with the Bengals and Saints following after. The tough matchup in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome is averaging $174 a ticket.
New England Patriots 2014 Season
Based on
average ticket prices in the NFL
, the New England Patriots are the most in-demand team of the year. While Patriots tickets are 21 percent cheaper than last year at this time, Patriots tickets are the most expensive in the league, averaging $434 over eight games at Gillette Stadium. A Brady vs. Manning matchup always brings hype and this year is no different; the November 2 meeting is the third most expensive game on the NFL schedule this year (avg. $554). Last year's AFC finalists are again this year's favorites and consistently makes for a great game between future Hall of Famers. Last year's Broncos at Patriots games averaged $722 immediately following the release of the NFL schedule; surprising considering every year that passes, brings up the question if this will be the last time we see these two quarterbacks face off. Another highlight on the Patriots schedule is Week 7 when former Jet standout Darrelle Revis hosts New York (avg. $375). The 2014 campaign will mark the third straight year that the Pats have matched up against the Jets on Thursday Night Football. In all, New England will play each of the AFC East rivals twice and will face each of the AFC West and NFC North teams once.
… more
2013 Season
The New England Patriots are once again poised for a successful season after falling one win short of the Super Bowl last year. The Patriots are expected to win their fifth consecutive AFC East title and are among the
2014 Super Bowl
favorites. Ticket prices reflect these lofty expectations, as the Patriots have the most expensive home tickets in the NFL. The average regular season price of $468 in Foxborough is 2.5x more than league average and 14% higher than the
Chicago Bears
, who have the second-highest prices. Those looking to find cheap Patriots tickets should attend the 12/29 game against the
Buffalo Bills
. This Week 17 matchup to end the regular season is the least expensive home game on the Patriots schedule in 2013, with Bills vs. Patriots tickets averaging $335.
The most significant offseason move by the Patriots was their decision to part ways with longtime receiver Wes Welker and their subsequent signing of former
St. Louis Rams
wide receiver Danny Ammendola. Welker returns to face the Patriots in Week 12 on 11/24 in the most expensive game this NFL season, with
Denver Broncos
vs. New England Patriots tickets at an average price of $657. The Patriot's offseason took a surprising turn with their signing of Tim Tebow and added another element to their rivalry with the
New York Jets
. Average price for the Jets vs. Patriots game at
Gillette Stadium
in New England in Week 2 is $501 and currently the fifth most expensive game on the secondary market. Their game in Week 7 in New York is more affordable, averaging $302.
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An open staircase to the third level is the architectural centerpiece of the living room, sweeping gracefully along a curved wall lined with tall transomed windows. To exaggerate the windows, putty-colored draperies fall from the ceiling to the floor, where hems are allowed to gently crumple. "I like draperies to break on the floor a bit, so these are a couple of inches longer than floor length," Brown says. "It makes the room a little more casual—not too stuffy, not too serious."
A round table nestles into the curve of the staircase, offering a place for keys and mail, and a side chair is covered in a tone-on-tone woven fabric depicting cherry blossom branches.
Round table (Laura Kirar collection #722, finish: Dark Walnut): McGuire Furniture.
Chair ("Bel Air'' #337, finish: Willow): Ironies through Ainsworth-Noah.
Fabric on "Bel Air'' chair ("Kairdo" #F1390-06): Osborne & Little.
Leather piping on "Bel Air'' chair (#973-34243-2172/Pale Tundra): Samuel & Sons.
Throw pillow ("Simpliciano-02''): Sheila Coombes through Zoffany.
Three vases: Roy Hampton through Jerry Pair.
Calligraphy book on table: Mimi Williams.
Art behind table (Methods Deployed Against That Which Remains Invisible, by Suk ja Kang-Engles); art on stairs (White Fields, by Udo Noger): Bill Lowe Gallery.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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January 30, 2012
Published: Jan. 30, 2012
PEOPLE Watch
I've attended a lot of fundraisers, but I've never seen what happened at the CHOC Cherishes Children Gala on January 21st at the Island Hotel in Newport Beach. The auctioneer Steve Hamann opened the live auction by introducing LaDonna Whipple, a valet attendant at the hotel. The item offered the highest bidder the opportunity of having his or her car ready and waiting when departing, thanks to Whipple. The bidding was fierce and actually ended at $15,000, with David Pyle of Newport Beach the winner. "I did it for two reasons," Pyle said, "for LaDonna, because I've watched her park cars here for 20 years, and because it's a great cause."
A gold '60s retro bar serving classic cocktails, such as Tom Collins, vodka gimlets and whiskey sours, greeted the nearly 300 guests in the reception area of the ballroom, and the stunning ballroom décor reflected the colors used for CHOC's soon-to-be opened patient care tower. Looking quite pleased with their accomplishments were gala co-chairs Marsha and Dave Willis, underwriting chair Christine Bren, décor chair Heather Madden and committee members Kristina Dodge, Kathryn Glassmyer Cenci and Monica Furman. Speaking for her and her husband, Marsha Willis said of their 30-year involvement, "We have seen daily miracles with patients at CHOC, and we love the passion CHOC invokes in people, so it's a privilege and honor to raise money for this endeavor."
CHOC Children's Foundation Board of Directors Chairman Sam Auriemma welcomed everyone and introduced the CHOC physicians and executive management present, the gala chairs and committee, as well as CHOC President and CEO Kimberly Cripe, who proudly stated that CHOC Children's was named one of the best children's hospitals by U.S. News & World Report (2011-2012). "This year's gala theme, 'Building Bigger Dreams,' reflects the tremendous strides we are making in the realization of our vision to become nationally recognized as a premier children's hospital," Cripe said. She said the money raised through the "Change CHOC, Change the World" $125 million fundraising campaign to build a state-of-the-art patient care tower, due to open Spring, 2013, will feature the most advanced design and safety principles of any children's hospital in the nation. "Building upon our academic affiliation with UC Irvine and our increased research capabilities, the new tower will also enhance our ability to attract and retain top pediatric experts from throughout the world," Cripe concluded.
Joining Cripe in presenting Hyundai Motor American CHOC's Children's Champion Award were Dr. Leonard Sender, Medical Director of CHOC's Hyundai Cancer Institute, and 13-year-old Sammy Heim, a CHOC cancer survivor and former Hyundai Hope on Wheels National Youth Ambassador. "We are very lucky to have Hyundai Motor America headquartered here and to have partnered with them to try and change the outcome for kids with cancer throughout the country," Sender said. Having donated $43 million to pediatric cancer in the U.S., Sender said the car company has donated $500,000 to CHOC's Cancer Institute through the Hope on Wheels campaign before making a $10 million donation last year, "the largest corporate gift to CHOC in our history," he said. "Our Hyundai Cancer Institute at CHOC will be doing groundbreaking work on pediatric cancer tumors right here in Orange County."
Zafar Brooks, Hyundai Director of General Affairs, Government Relations and Diversity Outreach, accepted the award, saying, "We've been pleased to have partnered with CHOC since 2002 and have found CHOC to be on the vanguard of pediatric cancer research. Our mission at Hope on Wheels is very clear. We help kids fight cancer and we look forward to the day that no child has to hear the words, 'You have cancer.' That will truly be the day to celebrate."
Dr. Jason Knight, Co-Director of CHOC's Emergency Transport Services Team and a critical care specialist, introduced 13-year-old Miranda Padilla, and told her story. "On August 25, 2009, we transported Miranda," Knight said, "who awakened with the worst headache of her life and, after being transported to a community hospital, arrived at CHOC, where she underwent emergency brain surgery due to a malformation resulting from a brain bleed." Miranda's father John Padilla commended CHOC, saying, "My family is intact today because of wonderful doctors like Dr. Knight and Dr. (Michael) Muhonen and their teams. It's just amazing what Children's Hospital does. We are so blest."
The live auction saw some active bidding, with the week's vacation at a Martha's Vineyard ocean-front estate going for $17,000 - twice – to Rex McMackin and to Margarita and Tom Solazzo. Heather and Jim Madden won the sports extravaganza package with the Angels, Ducks, Dodgers, and Lakers for $15,000, while Adrienne and Rick Matros had the top bid at $26,000 for the his and hers Corum Diamond Chronograph Bubble Watches. Christine Bren won the New York Fashion Week package for $6,000, and Glenn Cripe snagged four front row seats at Angels Baseball's opening day for $3,200.
The Derek Bordeaux Band brought guests to the dance floor for the gala's finale, and guests departed with an elegant Donna Karan/Lenox porcelain bowl, as well as a mascot CHOCO Bear, which was waiting in the front seat of each guest's car.
The effort netted $450,000 for the cause.
Contact the writer: email@example.com


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This algorithm is concerned with the emulation of the vibratory behaviour of a plucked string. The work of Kevin Karplus and Alex Strong in string modelling during the late 1970s, further by David Jaffe and Julius Smith at Stanford University, has resulted in a synthesis tool of considerable versatility. The basic acoustic model is simulated in the form of a variable length digital delay line, energised by noise and incorporating a feedback path via an attenuator, coupled to an adjustable low-pass filter which induces resonances akin to those of a vibrating string. Suitable adjustments of these parameters can alter the decay of the string sound from a plucked characteristic to a sustained one, with the possibility of changing pitch not only in discrete steps, but also by means of glissandi, thus introducing powerful facilities for gestural control. Further adjustments allow the percussive characteristics of plucked string sounds to be transformed into a number of drum-like timbres. (Source - Peter Manning (1993). Electronic and Computer Music, Second Edition. Oxford University Press.)
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Product Description
Full Set of TMI 2003-2004 Cobra Seat Upholstery in Dark Charcoal Vinyl with Dark Red Unisuede Inserts and Cobra Logo for 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004 Convertible Ford Mustangs.Restore or re-style your Mustang's seats with a set of TMI's 2003-2004 Cobra seat upholstery. Whether you need to replace just your front buckets, or your car needs a full upholstery overhaul, TMI has a Cobra upholstery set to fit your budget and car style.
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text: Not sure how long ago this video was made, but the TV station was still on the summit and they had a summit cat named Pushka (actually two of them, Pushka was apparently the TV station cat). The cars in the footage of North Conway give some clue. While the video is titled Mt Washington Valley it's more about the history of the summit and has a lot of good footage of the OBS. If anyone knows when this was made or who the summit folks in the video are that would be interesting.


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Museums in Scandinavia take you back in time to the Viking age via archaeological finds and propel you into the future with some of the most break-through contemporary exhibitions going. Folklore museums give fascinating insight into the will to survive and prosper in an exacting climate.
There are 711 museums in Denmark. How are you going to pick one? The Louisiana Museum of Modern Art is situated in a spacious, old park with a fine view across the sound of Sweden. It houses an exquisite collection of modern works by a stellar array of international artists. The Experimentarium is Denmark's Science Center, focusing on science and technology, environment and health and has a special Children's Pavilion for the 3-6 year-olds. Den Gamle By (The Old Town) is a living and breathing experience of what it was like to live and work in a Danish market town in the old days.
The Viking Ship Museum presents great Viking ship discoveries from all over Norway, including finds from Viking tombs around the Oslo Fjord. The world's two best-preserved wooden Viking ships built in the 9th century. Small boats, sledges, carts with exceptional ornamentation, tools, harness, textiles and household utensils are all on display. The Kon-Tiki Museum houses a range of boats and artifacts from Thor Heyerdahl's expeditions. Here you can see the original Kon-Tiki raft with a 30 foot whale shark underneath, statues and a secret family cave from Easter Island, the papyrus boat Ra II, and an exciting collection of archaeological finds from Easter Island, East Polynesia, Galapagos and Peru.
There's nothing stuffy about museums in Sweden. There are a head-spinning 400-plus museums and, as you might imagine, they exhibit antiquities, natural history, fine and industrial arts, design and others. Objects you see in Swedish museums cover everything from the diamond and gold encrusted 'Tre Kronor' crown jewels to surströmming (soured herring) – the pungent delicacy from this part of the world and an institution in itself. The Tanum World Heritage site includes the Vitlycke Museum, where rock carvings that are the highlight of the show depict life in Bronze Age Sweden. Artists of 3,000 years ago tell their story through 350 highly varied and richly colored groups of rock art vividly depicting people, animals, ships and sleighs, as well as hunting scenes and domestic life.
crown jewels to surströmming (soured herring)
Considering that Iceland has only 300,000 people, the number of museums and art galleries in the country is astounding. Even in the small towns and out-of-the-way fishing villages, you'll encounter a public place dedicated to preserving the national heritage or displaying the local artists. It may be a structure in the center of town that the community has banded together to support, or it may be the house of a famous artist. The largest museums and galleries are, of course, in Reykjavik. Among the most visited are the Culture House, Einar Jonsson Museum, and the National Gallery. Though these are the major culture venues, you can find a museum or gallery to quench almost any interest, whether it's Icelandic coins, traditional clothing, or metal working.
Deep down in the Tytyri Mine Museum in Finland, on the 110 level, you can see objects from times gone by as well as descriptions of the everyday life of the miners. The Craft Museum and National Costume Center of Finland is a specialized museum for Finnish handicrafts and industrial arts where materials and tools are available for getting to know handicraft techniques. The private collection of Gun and Military museum includes significant items from Finnish war history, especially from the Second World War. The large collection includes significant items from Finnish war history, especially from the Second World War. Old and new guns, war time items, literature and miniature models are displayed. The oldest weapons are from the 18th century.
The Mediterranean Region defies description; so rich is it in dramatic history and bewitching scenery.
Warm Mediterranean hospitality will linger in your memories.
Tourism is flourishing in the Baltic States of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.


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We started technomono.com way back in 2006. It was the very first website we set up and our first foray into web development and game development. We wrote many tutorials, covering the GIMP and Flash game programming.
In 2008 we published two Flash games: RingShot and Twinkle Snow - one of which we licensed to Miniclip.com and can be played here: www.miniclip.com/games/ringshot/
We have since moved on to this site. Our focus now is game development.
Tiny Brute Studio


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So, you're in a relationship. It's a pretty exciting time of life, huh?
Perhaps you recently met someone who caught your interest, and you're hoping that with time you'll be able to discern if the relationship should move toward marriage.
Or maybe you've been dating for quite some time now. You've identified the other person's strengths, but have also discovered some traits that leave you scratching your head.
In either case, you have probably found that many forces push you forward in your relationship.
Time can seem more like an enemy than an ally. You may fear that you're not getting any younger. Well-meaning friends and relatives might be inquiring about your love life, wondering when you plan on taking "the plunge." Your own sense of loneliness and that God-given desire for connection can nudge you further in a relationship until the steps toward the altar just seem to get easier and easier. Let's say you're already in love. Talk about an influence that changes behavior! Few factors have more horse power than romance. Even books on the subject of dating and marriage can convey a subtle expectation to keep moving forward: "Trust God," "differences are good," and "hey, nobody's perfect."
All of that's true. The forces that compel you to move forward are not out to destroy you. But with so many of them urging you toward marriage, it's wise to pause and ask yourself some questions that might prevent heartache down the road. You need to decide what to do with this relationship; no other person can make that decision for you. As a counselor, I've spoken with people who didn't take the time to think through their relationship. They acted solely on their feelings and tied the knot. Once married, they wanted to be faithful to that covenant, but they experienced difficulties that could have been avoided.
I'm grateful for their commitment to marriage and the desire to be faithful "till death us do part." Once a couple has committed at the altar – short of a few biblical exceptions – that is indeed the true path of faithfulness. But how would their lives have turned out had they taken the time to explore the red flags that were at least partially visible? Facing pain can certainly refine us, but we don't get extra credit for walking into it, especially when it can be avoided.
Marriage is great; it's a fantastic gift from God. My hope is that many of you do move forward and make that promise for life. But I've heard it said: "I'd rather be single and wish I were married, than married and wish I were single." It's one thing to be lonely alone, it's an even more distressing experience to be with someone and still be lonely. Now is the time to look carefully at who you will marry – not after rings are exchanged! Even if you're in a great relationship, asking yourself the tough questions now will only create a greater level of confidence and appreciation if you do decide to marry.
Every potential mate has a deficiency. It's called sin. Romans 3:10 says, "There is no one righteous, not even one." Every single romantic relationship has been impacted by the foolishness of two rebellious hearts! If you're looking for the perfect mate, stop. You won't find him. She doesn't exist.
Some will say, "Since no one's perfect, it really doesn't matter who I chose to marry. We're all flawed." Some will even take it a step further and say, "It's about being the right person, not finding the right person." Yes, there's some truth there, but the Bible makes distinctions between the foolish and the wise. Though we all are a mixture of both, there are some qualitative differences between people. It does matter who you marry!
When we're excited about a relationship, it's easy to overlook the red flags that at least need to be explored. We want to be married; this special person makes us feel wonderful (at least most of the time). We know some things about this person, but we sometimes fill in the gaps with what we want him or her to be like. Yet we often don't fill them in accurately. As you continue to read, please do so with an open mind. You just might find that some of the red flags actually relate to you, not your significant other.
An important dynamic in any relationship is one's general level of contentment in life.
As a single, you are somewhere on the range of contentment. You might be extremely content or very discontented, or anywhere in between.
When people marry, their range of contentment can shift in either direction, or it can stay relatively the same as it was when both parties were single.1 If it's higher post-marriage, then you've found the goldmine. If it's lower, you've unfortunately found the landmine! Before marriage, most anticipate that exchanging rings will lead to the goldmine.
Many factors play into which mine you are likely to strike after marriage. If you experienced a low level of contentment as a single, expecting marriage to propel you to marital bliss probably won't happen. On the other hand, if you are already highly content as a single, you very well may find marriage to be the goldmine. Wherever you're at right now, if you're not content, don't count on marriage to make everything better!
Often there are spiritual and emotional issues that we need to address. If you've encountered pain in your life that hasn't been faced, please take the time to work through it now before marriage. I'm not saying a person who's struggled in life can't be a good spouse, but it often takes more work to get there. Wishing away the hurt isn't going to resolve it. God can help you face the circumstances that were not the way you would have written life's script. God's power, your openness, and often the support of a counselor and community, are key in your move toward wholeness. Jesus said in Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Burying our pain only delays the inevitable.
It's OK to expect your friend to deal with his/her pain before getting married! Imagine two construction workers standing next to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. How silly would it be for one to say to the other, "So when do we start the addition?" The structure needs to be shored up before you can add to it and expect it to survive and thrive over time. Wounds in life happen, often without our vote, but each one of us has a choice about what we do with those pains. If you or your friend needs to work through past pains, do it now before moving forward in your relationship. Needs that either of you have now may look very different after you've addressed those emotional wounds.
If your friend was married before, it's vital to consider what happened in that former relationship and what factors were involved that caused the commitment to be broken. Society views remarriage as a given, but the Bible speaks to this important issue. Focus on the Family believes that Scripture addresses three specific situations in which a person does have freedom to remarry:
No matter what circumstances are given as the reason for the divorce, however, it's crucial to get wise counsel before moving forward with a relationship. Pastoral care, professional counseling, and advice from mature Christians can be extremely valuable and help a person avoid unnecessary heartache.
And an additional word of caution: Typically, an individual will learn the details of a previous marriage from the person of interest. The problems that led to the demise of the relationship may be accurately portrayed, or they might be one-sided. It's a temptation for a person to present themselves in a favorable light (Proverbs 18:17). It would be beneficial to speak to family and friends of the person you're seeing in order to get a fuller, more objective picture of what took place and the dynamics that may have been involved. Becoming aware of potential unhealthy patterns can enable you to put steps in place to avoid their duplication, and the best time to tackle such issues is before the romance takes off.
For the person who has come to faith in Jesus Christ, finding a mate who shares a similar commitment and spiritual walk is vitally important! Since II Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers," some have concluded that if a person is a Christian, he/she should only marry another Christian. It does mean that, but I think it runs deeper. If Paul simply wanted to convey that two people were heaven bound, he could have used a different word-picture. He could have used a corral or field of oxen- creatures in proximity with each other. Instead, he uses an agricultural picture of a yoke, one that would have been placed upon the necks of two oxen as they pulled a plow or agricultural tool. The yoke would require two things of the oxen. 1- That they walk in the same direction. 2- That they walk at a similar pace. What happens when two yoked oxen walk at different speeds? It's not pretty!
"He believes in a higher power." "Oh, she'll come to faith after we marry." "He says he'll come to church with me." Those things may happen, but they are not guaranteed. Marrying someone who doesn't share your faith in Christ is saying, "God, I think I can handle this one on my own, thanks." But even if your friend knows Christ, is there a hunger to grow spiritually?
You first need to understand your own spiritual walk to see if being yoked together is going to work. Is God my delight? Am I growing in my understanding of His infinite love for me? Have I committed to follow Him daily? Do I believe and trust in His Word? Notice, I didn't ask if you are perfect, all of us fall short. But yearning for a deeper walk with God will enhance a marriage, not hinder it.
Has your friend received God's free gift of forgiveness through faith in Christ? If so, what impact does it have upon his/her daily life? Does he believe what the Bible says, or is there a more culturally correct worldview that's held? Does she have a tendency to compromise when it's convenient? Is he like the seed that fell among the rocks in Matthew 13: 20, 21- quick growth, but no deep root system?
Time and again, I've spoken with people, who thought they were marrying a Christian, but once wedding rings were exchanged, spiritual interests fell like a rock. That's why it's so difficult to start a relationship with someone who subsequently receives Christ. You don't know if the interest expressed thereafter is really about the Lord, or about one's interest in you. You may need to see what your friend's relationship with God would look like if you were not in the picture. Would the person attend church without your presence or prompting? Would the person walk with the Lord, or walk from the Lord if you were no longer involved?
I'm not talking about one's ability to experience the feeling of anger; all of us should be able to identify that God-given emotion in our lives. I'm talking primarily about frozen anger- resentment. When we hold on to anger and don't address it, bad things often happen. There may be issues about unforgiveness in the person's life. Often, underlying anger is fear, hurt, or both. Metaphorically, the clenched fist feels a whole lot safer than the more vulnerable open palm.
It can also relate to the frequency and intensity of how anger is expressed. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered." Is it really stretching this verse to say, don't marry a hot-tempered person? I don't think so. "But he's got a good reason to be angry!" "You don't know what she's been through!" There are a lot of legitimate reasons people may struggle with anger, but marrying into it is like walking into a hornet's nest.
Men tend to have a tougher challenge facing their anger. They may either ignore it, denying its there, or they may explode. Ladies, seeing how he resolves his anger will be the difference between a red flag and a green light in your relationship.
There is no place for physical control or violence in a relationship! It is a major red flag that needs swift action like ending the relationship! Could someone get help for their violent ways? Yes, but you would need strong evidence that it has been thoroughly dealt with spiritually, emotionally, and with a significant time of violence-free living. Your friend getting help while remaining in the relationship runs the risk of pseudo recovery.
If a person is merely the pursuer of one's latest desire or emotional experience, life will be interesting, to say the least. Does your friend follow through on commitments and plans? Does he lack the initiative to find and hold a job? Has she gotten into debt because of impulse spending? Have you looked at each other's credit histories? Does he lack control of his passions?
When a person's emotional state rides like a rollercoaster, there may be bio-chemical issues involved which may need to be evaluated by a doctor or psychiatrist. If that's the case, what changes will proper medication produce? How likely is the person to stay on the medication over time? There may be a legitimate explanation for one's actions, but those actions still need to be lived with if two marry. And if the behavior persists you have to decide if you can deal with that for a lifetime.
How much of your friend's life revolves around himself? Does she have a very narrow flexibility quotient- is there only a thin range of your behaviors that are acceptable in her thinking? Does she need to get what she wants even when it inconveniences others? When the pursuit of a relationship is in full gear, it's easy to think we could live blissfully seeking our friend's interests into the sunset. If that doesn't wear off before marriage, you can count on it doing so after the vows have been exchanged.
You might think that you are acting selfishly when you want your friend to meet your needs. Look for balance. Philippians 2:4 says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others." It's a good thing to want your friend to show interest in your needs as well as those of others. We often get an accurate sense of a person's ability to sacrifice not by their response to a romantic relationship, but by one's reaction to others in need. Are you willing to be the tag along to your friend's self indulgence? I hope not.
What amount of energy does your friend give to appearance? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with working out or dying your hair. Some need to give more attention to their appearance. But is it in balance? Does it keep a person from serving others? Does it communicate a narcissistic tendency? Sometimes it's difficult to see because we're attracted to the results. Yet over time, the downside of self absorption will become more negatively evident and destructive to the relationship. Does your friend have a humble heart?
When a person struggles with distrust, one is only a step away from playing the role of the victim. We can call it by different names- hyper-sensitivity, self pity, critical, or martyrdom. The thread that connects these is a person's difficulty resolving pain and moving forward. Life is a series of whirlwinds that just don't seem to end. Other people or circumstances are perceived as the cause of undesirable events, and one is likely to blame just about every problem on just about everyone else. A person will take little responsibility for life's struggles. When married, it becomes very easy for a spouse to be blamed for one's lack of contentment.
Is there any truth to the person's perspective? Yes, probably a little. But when someone may not want to get past the pain, there's a good chance that they won't. And who ends up with the bull's eye on their chest? You do. In extreme cases, there may be a personality disorder that is involved that is pretty resistant to change. Does your friend own his shortcomings? Does she have a narrow band of acceptable behaviors for you? You may be able to put up with that for a while when the romantic feelings are sky high, but what happens when they're not?
It's easy to think that we can rescue the victim. That if we're able to express true love, godly love, that things will change. It's tempting, but it's a trap.
Your friend can manipulate in many ways: guilt-inducement, threats of abandoning you, threats of self-harm, yelling, physical aggression, isolating you, pouting, interrogating you, etc. It may be obvious; it may be much more subtle. You might be told that it's really love, but deep down you know that's not the truth. If you see glimpses of controlling actions now, it's fair to say they will likely increase after marriage.
Christian men can hide their control behind headship. Yes, the Bible does speak to the place of headship in a husband (Eph. 5:23), but it's not about domination or manipulation. Jesus is given as the model for headship, the one who came not to be served, but to give his life for you and me. Headship has more to do with servanthood than with being "in charge." It's more about his responsibility before God to encourage the relationship positively than about him demanding his own way. The mutual submission that is stated in Ephesians 5:21 provide a safeguard against marital headship from being used as a club.
Is she able to submit to a husband, or does life simply need to go her way? When a woman has experienced over-control, abuse, or harshness in her years growing up, submission may not come easily. Even when headship is carried out in a loving balanced fashion, she may fear that it will turn into domination. There may still be some wounds that need to be addressed.
"I'm sure she was just stretching the facts a little bit." "He lied to me so that I wouldn't be hurt." It's easy to minimize or overlook instances of dishonesty in a relationship. But lying is often a pattern that pulls the rug out from under a marriage. If you can't trust a person's words, what can you trust about them? Lies that we're aware of are often the tip of the iceberg. We want to trust our friend. But when we find an instance of dishonesty, it causes us to wonder what else has been stretched or distorted
"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment." Proverbs 12:19. What greater picture of the outcome of honesty can we find? Like most sin, lying has momentary purpose, but it leads to destruction. Does your friend have a reputation that his/her words can be trusted? Is truth compromised for gain, impact, or convenience?
"She doesn't drink like that too often." "Oh, he told me he's not going to look at pornography anymore." When we want a relationship to work, it's easy for us to rationalize away the red flags. Chemical dependency, sexual addictions, food addictions, etc. will gnaw at the very fabric of a marriage. If you're seeing the problem now, don't simply accept good intentions; the addiction will likely intensify. Your friend likely needs help physically, emotionally, and spiritually to experience sobriety in whatever arena of struggle. People can often "white knuckle" an addiction for a period of time, but when stress, frustration, hurts, and fatigue set in, it's easy to return to old patterns. In most instances, the addiction is not primarily about the "substance," whatever that may be, but about the pain underneath that needs to be addressed.
There's no guarantee that a person will not return to a former addiction, but if there is at least a year of consistent sobriety, chances diminish significantly. Again, the difficult question remains; if I were not saying that something needs to be done about this addiction, would my friend be pursuing help?
We all mess up, no one is exempt. How does your friend admit when wrong? Or should I ask, does your friend acknowledge his/her mistakes? We don't want to be wrong, but dealing with it when we are goes a long way towards establishing a healthy marriage.
People may tend to struggle more with admitting mistakes when they've grown up around critical people. For some, Paul's words in II Corinthians 12: 10, "For when I am weak then I am strong," is experienced as, "For when I am weak then I am worthless."
Writing out an apology may be easier than saying it. Practicing with a small matter may make it easier when the offense has a greater emotional impact. But saying "I'm sorry" needs to happen for a relationship to thrive.
If your friend is not willing to go to counseling if you marry and can't resolve an issue together, don't marry him/her. I know it may sound self serving since I'm a marriage and family therapist, but it's true. It's not merely about one's willingness to meet with a counselor or pastor; it's about one's willingness to grow, to be open, and to learn. A person might agree to it now, but conveniently has a change of mind after the "I do's."
There are often two reasons why people will avoid counseling. One, they know at a deeper level that the way they are approaching life and the relationship is not healthy. If it stays an issue just between the couple, one may succeed at convincing the other that there really are no problems, or if there is, the problem is the partner's. On the other hand, if they meet with an objective counselor, it's going to be a lot tougher to keep an unhealthy perspective alive. Secondly, a person may know that there's pain that needs to be faced, but it may scare the person half to death to do so. "If I meet with a counselor, I'll probably have to face some pains I've successfully avoided until now." Of course the price of not facing the pain is a lot more costly than facing it.
What current evidence would lead you to believe that your friend would be willing to get help when married? Is he open to learn from others, or does he know it all? Does she have a humble attitude, or is there arrogance in her tone and words?
This is not the problem for most couples. Often there's a need to restrain the passions that run so strong at this point in a relationship. Setting the flames of romance aside for a moment, is your friend comfortable with giving and receiving affection? Does he/she show appropriate affection to friends, parents, siblings, etc? If two people are less inclined toward affection, maybe neither will miss it. But affection is a part of the way our Creator wired us. Will your friend be able to show affection to your children? Is it uncomfortable for your friend because affection was never received growing up? The affectionate-resistant person would be wise to explore the reasons that touch is so uncomfortable.
Some people just don't want to deal with conflict of any size, shape, or variety. When tension is present, withdrawal or denial serve to gloss over the problem allowing it to be avoided for another day. Obviously, the problem gets bigger with every effort to sweep things under the rug. How does your friend deal with conflict? Does the problem get avoided or minimized?
Conflict is inevitable because we're human. Whether you realize it or not, there's conflict in your relationship even this side of marriage. You might ask your friend the question, "If I have a concern, how can I bring it up in a way that you'll be able to hear me?" Your friend might say, "I don't want to hear it." That should be a pretty obvious red flag for you. Right now your conflicts might be fairly small, but marriage will change that, there's more at stake. If you don't develop a healthy pattern now, it won't get any better in marriage.
We might presume that if the person we would like to commit to isn't quite as interested, it must be a fear of commitment. That's not always the case. Since marriage is such an important decision, getting to know a person well makes a lot of sense. And there's no substitute for time.
Yet there are times when a person sends mixed messages, or struggles to commit due to a fear of intimacy. "When you find out who I really am, will you still accept me?" It seems like she's interested, then it doesn't. He appears to want to move forward in the relationship, but then he pulls back. This hot and cold pattern can go on for years. And even if one makes it to the altar, if the issue isn't resolved, it can still cause chaos and insecurity in a marriage. Do you see a pattern of consistency in your friend's commitments in general? Without the ability to commit, marriage is like the sands of an hourglass just waiting to run out.
Does your friend interact with family and friends? How healthy are those relationships? Though we have no control over our family members, family interactions tell us a lot about a person. That doesn't mean our friend will always end up like Mom or Dad, but it doesn't mean one will necessarily end up differently either. If we don't have the ability to pick our family, we do when it comes to our friendships.
Has your friend kept you away from her family? Does he avoid introducing you to his friends? If so, what's the reason? Are there some issues that are being kept from you? Sometimes those boundaries may be necessary, but interacting with a partner's family and friends will provide valuable information for your decisions about the relationship.
Has your friend been able to leave home emotionally? I'm not saying she shouldn't love her parents, or that he shouldn't respect his folks. Honoring one's parents is a lifetime responsibility. But honoring them is not about obeying them now that you are an adult.
Genesis 2:24 states, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." When a man or woman doesn't leave home emotionally, heartache invariably results. I've talked with countless couples who've experienced this betrayal from a spouse. People may still be seeking parental approval that they didn't receive as a child. A man may still be controlled by his mother, but anything that even hints of control by his wife will be viewed as such. Can your friend set boundaries and say "no" to his parents when needed? Can your friend tell her parents when she disagrees with them?
No matter what someone does, including yourself, does your friend always second-guess the motivation? If you give your friend a gift, does the question reverberate, "What does he/she want?" Granted, our motivations aren't as pure as the driven snow, but with time one's constant questioning will drive a wedge into any relationship.
Distrust often develops as a self protective measure when people were not trustworthy in one's life. "I can be fooled once, but I won't be fooled anymore," may be the mindset. Again, hurt and pain likely exist behind the wall; and without help, the distrust will likely creep into every crevasse of the relationship. Can people be too trusting? Yes, absolutely, and that's a problem of a different kind. But without trust, marriage becomes a daily witness stand. Over time, the distrust will likely increase.
It may be hard to imagine, but some people get married so that they can have someone else tell them what to do. They may fear making mistakes, lack self confidence, or want a "parent" to direct or blame their lives upon. It can look a lot like submission, but it's not.
You may see it in the amount of time a friend wants to spend with you. Who could argue against a couple sharing quality time? Every counselor knows the importance of that! But when your friend wants to spend every waking moment together, you'll likely feel suffocated before very long. It can feel flattering at first, but be careful of anything that tends to get out of balance!
At this point you might be wondering, like the disciples did in Matthew 19:10, "If this is the case, maybe it's better not to marry."
That is an important decision. Depending on the severity of the red flag, a friend may be able to address them while remaining in the relationship. And not every red flag mentioned here is of equal importance. For example, a friend's alcoholism or another friend's tendency to avoid conflict don't necessarily hold the same weight. It's not about looking for the perfect mate; if it were, we would be disqualified ourselves.
Raising a concern in the relationship needs to occur with honesty, humility, and kindness. You might voice qualities about your friend that you do appreciate before sharing your red flag. For example, "I find your kindness and compassion to be great qualities in your life, and I greatly appreciate them. Recently I've been struggling with the amount of time we spend together. I know it's important that we have the opportunity to share time, but I'm feeling suffocated in some ways." The focus is your experience and the behavior itself, not the trait. "You're too dependent," may or may not be accurate, but it's going to be difficult to receive.
It may help to ask your friend to think or pray about it; maybe we're the first person who has ever had the courage to voice the concern and it may take some time for it to register. Your friend may disagree with you, but one's willingness to consider the concern will shed considerable light upon your subsequent decisions.
Remember that you're not there to fix your friend. Several years ago, a psychiatrist named Dr. Negri tried to do that and failed miserably. He "fixed" his younger patient of thirty years and subsequently married her. Their marriage ended in divorce. When asked why it didn't work out, he said that he had forgotten to do therapy on himself.
In some cases, you may be wise to take a step back in the relationship, at least waiting until a situation is addressed before moving forward. Keep in mind that a person can white knuckle a problem at least for a period of time; using sheer determination to change behaviors. That type of change is not likely to last, and may lead you back into deeper problems some time down the road. If a relationship needs to slow down or not move forward, you may need to identify the reason, discuss what steps each may take to address the concern, and agree upon the needed boundaries. Communicate clearly: Is the relationship exclusive at this point or not? Is there freedom to see other people? It will be important for you to know what changes will need to happen in order to move forward.
Even if we've confronted a concern in the best possible way, if we stay in the relationship, it's hard to tell if change has occurred and for what reason. It's like trying to repair a car while driving down the highway. You don't owe it to your friend to stay in the relationship. Either of you, short of the altar, may decide against the relationship. It's better to end the relationship now than to keep going and suffer for it!
If you end a relationship, do so with kindness and respect. Let your friend know that you have concerns, that you've given it thought, and that you believe it's the right decision for you. Share the concerns if your friend would like to know, but address them as behaviors, not traits.
Be prepared for a number of different reactions. You might get promises, begging, or anger from your friend. If you end the relationship now, it doesn't necessarily mean that reconciliation may not happen down the road. Be careful of setting up the other person or yourself with that expectation. The inevitable question arrives, "Can we still be friends?" This question is often an attempt by one to stay in the relationship. Many people slide back into their relationship because they were trying to be friendly; like trying to drill a new screw hole 1/8th of an inch from the original. Many times, the end of a relationship will need to be firm and decisive. You are not a terrible Christian if you decide to end the relationship with your friend!
If you do break off the relationship, give yourself the opportunity to grieve. You very well may be in love with that person, and even though ending the relationship may be the smartest thing you've ever done, it still hurts! Journal, identify your losses, and don't try to meet someone else too quickly.
Some of you might be on the doorstep of marriage- a month, a week, or even a day away from that lifetime promise. It would be easy to let potential disappointment from a fiancée, a parent, or the loss of a reception hall down payment keep you from doing what you know you need to do. My goal is not to break couples apart, but for couples to have a greater confidence in their decision to marry. If that confidence is not there, it might be the wisest choice you ever make to delay the wedding date or end the relationship.
Pray for God's wisdom and direction in your relationship. I hesitate to mention it, not because I don't believe in it, but because it's so easy to distort. Time after time, I've seen people continue past clear and obvious relational red flags because "God was leading them." God does lead and guide, but praying about it doesn't become a trump card that no one can question. Ask the Lord for His leading, but see if there are important red flags. Many times God's leading will be affirmed by the people around us who are also seeking His heart, but maybe with a tad more objectivity since they are not in the relationship.
Sometimes when it comes to addressing red flags, it can be equally as important to know what you are looking for; to identify the green lights. Government officials responsible for uncovering counterfeit money spend a lot more time looking at the real stuff than the fake.
Several behaviors will be important in a healthy marriage. A person needs to be balanced. It's often easy to get imbalanced in one direction or the other; to be too carefree or too serious, too flexible or too structured, too strict or too lenient. It will be important to find someone who is forgiving, responsible, encouraging, honest, admits mistakes, sets boundaries, and can confront you constructively.
These behaviors will likely reflect hearts that feel loved and safe. They will come from people who understand their imperfections, have experienced true forgiveness, and are committed to growth in their own lives. From people who have a deep sense of connection, who understand why God placed them here on planet earth, and want to carry that out. Remember, no one's perfect, but looking for character and godliness may end up being more important allies to you than the goose bumps from romance felt right now.
Think of marital love as a house. Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain." Homes are made up of different parts in much the same way that marriage is made up of different loves. The Greeks used different words to describe love.
All four loves are needed in marriage. Eliminate any and the relationship will suffer. But without the foundation (agape love), the rest of the house will crumble. If you have a leak in the roof (eros love), its not pleasant, but you don't need to junk the house. Make sure that you have the foundation, frame, and roof complete before marriage, so that you can move the furniture in after the closing.
Give that last question some thought.
"Earlier, you mentioned 18 red flags; my friend only has two of them, so most don't apply to us." That may be true, but even one red flag could make the difference between a wise choice and a disaster when it comes to marriage. With no disrespect to premarital surveys (I believe in their value), it would be nice if you could simply take a test, identify red flags and green lights, give them a number value, and calculate if you should move forward or not. It's not that simple.
Many people get married because of a fear of loneliness, of not having anymore chances in life to find love. The thought that my friend is the last "fish in the sea" will tend to create desperation. It's tough to keep in mind, but if you do end the relationship, over time you will likely find more opportunities. And even if you don't, your worth isn't based upon finding someone who will marry you. Other than Christ, no one on earth determines your worth. Like the moon reflecting the sun's rays, spouses can reflect the truth about their mates, but they don't make them valuable!
Is it possible that there might not be any red flags in your relationship now, yet issues arise later in your spouse? Yes, absolutely. There are no guarantees that a spouse might not walk away from you, God, or emotional health. What I've talked about here relates to red flags, some clear, some more obscure, which can be detected now. Don't rationalize, excuse, or ignore them. Find the goldmine, not the landmine.
If you're still concerned about your relationship, talk to someone. Feel free to give us a call here at the Focus on the Family Counseling department. Call us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (800-232-6459). Our licensed counselors or chaplains would love to speak with you and, if you would like, can direct you toward local Christian counselors.


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Quotes of the week
"I would rather have some type of ability to have prayer than to have nothing." — Vice Chair Craig Pierce, on a prayer policy Rowan commissioners approved in case a judge halts their Christian prayers
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