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TV and press ad revenues predicted to fall by more than £350m
Traditional media face revenue fall.
By Joe Derry-Malone Published 03 July 2012Group M, the media network run by Sir Martin Sorrell, has estimated a fall of £350m in revenue acquired from TV and press advertising in the UK during 2012. This general fall will come despite the profits expected from the London Olympics and Euro 2012.
The group has reviewed growth of TV ad revenues previously predicted at 3 per cent to 0.1 per cent, a drop that reduces revenues by £70m. The estimations for the newspaper ad market has seen similar revisions, now with an estimated fall in revenue of 6.3 per cent compared to 2011.
However, falls in revenue gained through traditional media are more than balanced by a boom in digital advertising, which will contribute to an increase to the overall growth forecast for the UK ad market. Overall figures given by Group M in fact demonstrate an increase on earlier predictions from 3 per cent to 3.4 per cent - £12.7bn to £13.2bn.
Internet spend has been predicted to rise by 14.2 per cent on 2011, reaching £5.35bn this year.
Group M has stressed that the UK's regional newspaper market will suffer most, revising the prediction of a 7.8 per cent fall to 11 per cent.
Adam Smith, the group's director, has explained the drops by explaining that the Olympics "have not necessarily boosted spending on commercials" as might have been expected. He did add however, that in comparison with other European markets, UK growth was "robust".
2 comments
Whilst there may be a predicted decline in "press ad revenues" it is not all doom and gloom for what you describe as "the newspaper ad market". The fact is, today's national newspaper brands are multi-platform media businesses: their content is published and read not just in print, but also online and on smartphones and tablets. In fact, the rate at which people are accessing newsbrands on digital platforms is increasing faster than print readership is contracting – with the net result that the overall daily UK audience for "newsbrands" is up, from 22.6m in 2007 to 24.4m in 2012. There may be a decline in print ad revenues, but the rise in digital advertising revenues benefits newsbrands too.
Before anyone's tempted to call for bailouts for the MSM, ask a question. Why are more people turning to the Net for their entertainment and news? Maybe it's because the quality of MSM content continues to go down?
Do we really need reality shows on practically every subject imaginable?


text:
Stock Quotes
Petaluma 5/03/2012 08:54 PM GMT (TransWorldNews)
GOP Representatives Introduce Achieve Act to Counter DREAM Act, Which One Will Immigrants Favor?
House GOP Introduces Immigration Bill, But Will it Offer Solutions to The Majority of Immigrants?
Jeb Bush to Pen Book about Immigration, Release Date in 2013
Three ICE agents were shot early Thursday morning when trying to serve a warrant, where the suspect was considered to be "high risk."
ICE agents in SWAT gear, attempting to serve a warrant for a criminal investigation, asked residents in the area to leave prior to the shooting. Agents surrounded and entered a two story house by blowing a hole in the garage door. Shortly after they entered the building, people nearby heard numerous shots coming from inside.
Three agents were wounded, but their injuries are not life-threatening. One agent had to be flown to a local hospital.
One suspect has been taken into custody.
Another ICE agent was also shot in an unrelated incident in Los Angeles County. The agent's son, 14, has been charged with his shooting, but authorities are unclear about the motive.
ICE agents are tasked with serving warrants on illegal immigrants who are known to be in the U.S. illegally or people who have outstayed their HB-1 and work visas. This sometimes means they encounter dangerous individuals who will to extremes to stay in the U.S.
All alien residents face deportation to their native countries unless they enlist the help of a California immigration attorney to get them the necessary legal documents.
An immigration lawyer is capable of helping an immigrant with a number of issues including work visas, green cards, asylum and naturalization. An immigration attorney increases the chances that the hopeful citizen can obtain the legal status they need to remain in the United States.
email@example.com immigrationlawyersnow.org/
Receive alerts for http://immigrationlawyernow.org to your inbox. Sign up for News Alerts

subset: commoncrawl


text:
SmartWay Trends, Indicators, and Partner Statistics (TIPS)
SmartWay Average Payload by Class
Posted October 15, 2012
Based on 2011 Carrier Partner data, this chart shows the average payload for all truck classes reported in the SmartWay Truck tools. The data, excluding the vehicle weight and empty backhaul, represent average payload when loaded. The data include all SmartWay application types across the truck classes (2B through 8B).
More Resources
Explore SmartWay Performance Data
View publicly available SmartWay data on carrier emissions performance.
Discover Program Resources
SmartWay offers a range of resources that provide more information about SmartWay and its activities.
What's New in TIPS
Key Resources
- Highlights Document (PDF) (1p, 61 K, EPA420-F-1-2057, August 2012)
- You will need Adobe Reader to view some of the files on this page. See EPA's PDF page to learn more.


text:
2 Meetup Groups match "Socrates Cafe" near Peninsula, OH
Socrates thought that understanding the perspectives of others made him a more excellent human being. In this spirit, the purpose of the Socrates Café is not to persuade others to our point of view, but to deepen our understanding of the views of everyone who participates. Please join us at 7:30 p.m. on the second Tuesday of each month for the next Socrates Café and another ninety minutes of philosophical exploration.
There are no upcoming Meetups.
Come join other local amateur philosophers the first Wednesday of each month from 7-9pm as we explore the answers to life's most profound questions at The Thinkers' Club. Modeled on the Socrates Café concept, the Thinkers' Club is a reading and discussion group intended to provide a fun, non-judgmental forum to discuss and debate philosophical topics with other critical thinkers. The group will read primary and secondary sources in the history of philosophy as well as in fiction, history, poli …
Get an alert email when new Meetup Groups like this start near you.
You'll get advice, help finding members, and tools to make running a Meetup Group easier.


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text:
on 16-03-2012 08:08 PM
Hi everyone,
So, back story! I've always been pretty unfortunate with my PS3's; I've either had to sell them on at some point or they had mechanical failures (outside of warranty).
Now it was always my presumption that when a unit gets formatted it automatically deactivates the profile attached to it, made sense to me. Anyhow, my most recent PS3 has lasted me considerably longer than my previous units and I've bought quite a lot of content to fill up the 250gb harddrive. Unfortunately, the HDMI port malfunctioned so I've been relegated to playing in SD (worse things have happened I know).
Anyway, this has led me to purchase (yet another) 320gb in order to restore high definition goodness to my life with the intention of simply activating this console, after deactivating my broken one so that I can simply re-download all my recent content (CoD Elite, BF3 DLC, ME3 & various PS+ content) and enjoy life in 720p.
As you can probably guess, this is where my plan falls down. After finding out I couldnt simply do it through my units, I logged into my SEN account where I discovered that my previous consoles were -still- activated somehow (hence why I couldnt activate on the new one). Further on from this, I wasn't able to deactivate any of the consoles through the browser to allow me to activate my new one.
Obviously you can see my conundrum here, I no longer have the PS3's in my possession to manually deactivate them or the means to find them in order to do so.
I've heard a rumour that if I was to contact Sony directly, that I would be able to confirm my details and deactivate all the consoles through customer service/technical support, however I cannot find out how to do so with the support pages on the website. Is this possible, and if so, what is the number to call?
Failing that, does anyone have a solution that would allow me to activate my profile on the new PS3, and deactivating the old ones so that at least all the recent content I've bought can be used as it should (in HD).
Any help, advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Solved! Go to Solution.
on 16-03-2012 08:14 PM
on 16-03-2012 08:45 PM
Thank you Babaoriley3! With your help, and with the help of customer services I was able to find option to deactivate all systems. (Must admit it was tricky to find though! heh).
Thank you again
on 18-03-2012 12:56 PM
on 30-08-2012 07:30 PM
When I click deactivate a window pops up which tells me I need the original console and cannot deactivate over a PC.
on 15-09-2012 03:15 AM
yo above me..
Click : Account----> Deactivate all
then it wont say that it will just work trust me. just did it
on 16-10-2012 07:35 PM
I did the same as the above but it only diactivates my broken ps3 for games. It won't let me diatctivate the system for movies and music, saying that it can only be done through the system. Something that obviously can't be done as it won't turn on.
Can anyone help?
on 16-10-2012 08:41 PM
Just ring Customer service.
Sony owns the licenses for Games.
Music is not even locked to a single console it just shows that its been used before.
The TV & movie studios own the license for movies and TV content.
They prefer vioce communictions as its going to void all past content, on all past consoles with NO redownload for those systems.
So if they are still active they won't be after they flick the switch.
Users have requested the console changes Even with the console still active in a different location.
The other reason they need you to contact them is so that you can deside if you want to use UP the 1 extra redownload you get, for the current content, you have brought on the store, they will then allow your 1 free redownload on that new console. You are only give 1 extra download of past content issued by the Movies and TV studios...
you only get 2 downloads of each TV or Film file and the second is only for technical faults..
Have fun...
>G-Drive hosted PS3 app videos...<
on 20-10-2012 10:02 PM
WHOA! nice... and i kept reading it was not possible. Thanks a lot for this guys...
on 03-03-2013 05:08 PM
What? None of the above has worked. I cannot seem to find the "deactivate all" option and when I click the button to deactivate a console, it say I need the console. The only thing I have from the ps3 I want to deactivate is the harddrive as the console had it's day. Now I am stuck. The console I have now is the solid state memory version. So I have two previous ps3's that I cannot deactivate. We should have an option to deactivate them via the account management on the link provided above. It's as good as sony withholding what it our personal data. That someone else could gain access to if they had my hard-drive. When i switched from the first ps3 to the second i swapped the hard-drive's and took the old console to my local game store for proper disposal. Something i reccomend all to do if they think they could be at risk to loosing personal data. Still I NEED TO DEACTIVATE MY OTHER PS3'S!!!
Welcome to the PlayStation 3 Technical Help Forum!
Here you can post questions regarding any technical problem you may be having with your PlaySation 3.
Before you post you can search for your query as it may have already been answered. You can also try our FAQ's when looking for help.
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Posted: Feb 3, 2013 6:04 PM
AUSTIN, Texas - A freshman backup quarterback at the University of Texas has been arrested in Austin for public intoxication and carrying a fake driver's license.
Travis County Sheriff's Department spokesman Roger Wade says 19-year-old Connor Brewer was arrested by school police early Saturday. Wade says court documents indicate Brewer was booked into the county jail, appeared before a justice of the peace court and released about 11 hours later.
School spokeswoman Rhonda Weldon says the charges are misdemeanors. Conviction carries a fine of up to $500 per charge.
Brewer, from Scottsdale, Arizona, has been expected to contend for playing time next season. He did not play in 2012.
In his player profile at the team's website, Brewer says he hopes to become a lawyer after his playing days.
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text: Definition of high court in English high court Syllabification: (high court)Translate high court | into French noun a supreme court of justice. the US Supreme Court. (in the US) the supreme court in a state. (in some US states) a superior court. (in full High Court of Justice) (in England and Wales) the court of unlimited civil jurisdiction comprising three divisions: Queen's Bench, Chancery, and the Family Division. high court in other Oxford dictionaries Definition of high court in the British & World English dictionary


text:
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text:
Impaired Driving
- Drunk driving is often a symptom of a larger problem: alcohol misuse and abuse.
- Alcohol-impaired motor vehicle crashes cost more than an estimated $37 billion annually.
- In 2010, more than 10,000 people died in alcohol-impaired driving crashes - one every 51 minutes.
A Call To Action
Click HERE for Drunk DrivingPrevention Campaign materials.
Latest Reports
Intensive DWI Supervision in Urban Areas - Feasibility Study
Drivers with prior convictions for driving while impaired (DWI) carry a higher risk of future DWI arrests and crash involvement. In response, communities have developed various strategies to address the drinking-driving problems of DWI offenders by assisting them in making positive behavioral changes to reduce their likelihood of recidivism. -
Ignition Interlock Institutes: Promoting the Use of Interlocks and Improvements to
Interlock Programs
The institutes were designed to bring teams of people from different States representing various organizations and agencies who are involved with some component of their States' ignition interlock program system. The purpose of the institutes was to promote increased use of ignition interlocks in each participating State and to identify improvements to strengthen its interlock programs. -
Digest of Impaired Driving and Selected Beverage Control Laws (27th Edition, 2012)
This digest reports the status of State laws that are concerned with impaired driving offenses and alcoholic beverage control. It is extensively footnoted and contains comprehen-sive information on critical impaired-driving laws for all 50 States, the District of Columbia, and Puerto Rico. -
Guidelines for Creating State Judicial Outreach Liaisons
The purpose of this document is to provide guidance for the creation of positions and the typical duties performed by the State Judicial Outreach Liaison (SJOL). In addition, NHTSA Judicial Fellows and Regional Judicial Outreach Liaisons are referenced throughout the document to provide an understanding of their roles and how they interact with SJOLs. -
Challenges and Defenses II
Claims and responses to common challenges and defenses in driving while impaired cases -
Increasing Impaired-Driving Enforcement Visibility: Six Case Studies
Each case study includes discussion of the HVE program's history, enforcement strategies, visibility elements, operation, resources, use of media, educational components, funding, support from political leaders and the community, barriers encountered, and strengths of the program.
Youth and Young Adults
- A Social Norms Strategy to Reduce Impaired Driving Among 21-34-Year-Olds
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- Source Investigations: A Tool to Combat Impaired Driving


text:
Long before the advent of Christianity, plants and trees that remained green all year had a special meaning for people in the winter. Discover the history of the Christmas tree, from the earliest winter solstice celebrations, to Queen Victoria and all the way to the annual lighting of the Rockefeller Center tree.
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Related Topics
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Santa Claus
The man we know as Santa Claus has a history all his own.
Christmas is both a sacred religious holiday and a worldwide cultural and commercial phenomenon.
Christmas Traditions Worldwide
One of the most celebrated holidays in the world, Christmas is a product of hundreds of years of traditions from around the globe.
History of the Holidays
Holidays bring people together, commemorate historic events and usher in the seasons. Discover the history behind the holidays.
Did You Know?
Christmas trees are grown in all 50 states including Hawaii and Alaska.
How It All Got Started
Long before the advent of Christianity, plants and trees that remained green all year had a special meaning for people in the winter. Just as people today decorate their homes during the festive season with pine, spruce, and fir trees, ancient peoples hung evergreen boughs over their doors and windows. In many countries it was believed that evergreens would keep away witches, ghosts, evil spirits, and illness.
In the Northern hemisphere, the shortest day and longest night of the year falls on December 21 or December 22 and is called the winter solstice. Many ancient people believed that the sun was a god and that winter came every year because the sun god had become sick and weak. They celebrated the solstice because it meant that at last the sun god would begin to get well. Evergreen boughs reminded them of all the green plants that would grow again when the sun god was strong and summer would return.
The ancient Egyptians worshipped a god called Ra, who had the head of a hawk and wore the sun as a blazing disk in his crown. At the solstice, when Ra began to recover from the illness, the Egyptians filled their homes with green palm rushes which symbolized for them the triumph of life over death.
Early Romans marked the solstice with a feast called the Saturnalia in honor of Saturn, the god of agriculture. The Romans knew that the solstice meant that soon farms and orchards would be green and fruitful. To mark the occasion, they decorated their homes and temples with evergreen boughs. In Northern Europe the mysterious Druids, the priests of the ancient Celts, also decorated their temples with evergreen boughs as a symbol of everlasting life. The fierce Vikings in Scandinavia thought that evergreens were the special plant of the sun god, Balder.
Germany is credited with starting the Christmas tree tradition as we now know it in the 16th century when devout Christians brought decorated trees into their homes. Some built Christmas pyramids of wood and decorated them with evergreens and candles if wood was scarce. It is a widely held belief that Martin Luther, the 16th-century Protestant reformer, first added lighted candles to a tree. Walking toward his home one winter evening, composing a sermon, he was awed by the brilliance of stars twinkling amidst evergreens. To recapture the scene for his family, he erected a tree in the main room and wired its branches with lighted candles.
Most 19th-century Americans found Christmas trees an oddity. The first record of one being on display was in the 1830s by the German settlers of Pennsylvania, although trees had been a tradition in many German homes much earlier. The Pennsylvania German settlements had community trees as early as 1747. But, as late as the 1840s Christmas trees were seen as pagan symbols and not accepted by most Americans.
It is not surprising that, like many other festive Christmas customs, the tree was adopted so late in America. To the New England Puritans, Christmas was sacred. The pilgrims's second governor, William Bradford, wrote that he tried hard to stamp out "pagan mockery" of the observance, penalizing any frivolity. The influential Oliver Cromwell preached against "the heathen traditions" of Christmas carols, decorated trees, and any joyful expression that desecrated "that sacred event." In 1659, the General Court of Massachusetts enacted a law making any observance of December 25 (other than a church service) a penal offense; people were fined for hanging decorations. That stern solemnity continued until the 19th century, when the influx of German and Irish immigrants undermined the Puritan legacy.
In 1846, the popular royals, Queen Victoria and her German Prince, Albert, were sketched in the Illustrated London News standing with their children around a Christmas tree. Unlike the previous royal family, Victoria was very popular with her subjects, and what was done at court immediately became fashionable—not only in Britain, but with fashion-conscious East Coast American Society. The Christmas tree had arrived.
By the 1890s Christmas ornaments were arriving from Germany and Christmas tree popularity was on the rise around the U.S. It was noted that Europeans used small trees about four feet in height, while Americans liked their Christmas trees to reach from floor to ceiling.
The early 20th century saw Americans decorating their trees mainly with homemade ornaments, while the German-American sect continued to use apples, nuts, and marzipan cookies. Popcorn joined in after being dyed bright colors and interlaced with berries and nuts. Electricity brought about Christmas lights, making it possible for Christmas trees to glow for days on end. With this, Christmas trees began to appear in town squares across the country and having a Christmas tree in the home became an American tradition.
Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree
The Rockefeller Center tree is located at Rockefeller Center, west of Fifth Avenue from 47th through 51st Streets in New York City.
The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree dates back to the Depression Era days. The tallest tree displayed at Rockefeller Center came in 1948 and was a Norway Spruce that measured in at 100 feet tall and hailed from Killingworth, Connecticut.
The first tree at Rockefeller Center was placed in 1931. It was a small unadorned tree placed by construction workers at the center of the construction site. Two years later, another tree was placed there, this time with lights. These days, the giant Rockefeller Center tree is laden with over 25,000 Christmas lights.
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Capacity building
One of medica mondiale's core tasks is the dissemination of knowledge on how to deal with survivors of traumatic violence with sensitivity and expertise. In order to overcome experiences of violence, it is crucial that victims receive trauma-sensitive support after the events. Unfortunately, retraumatisation often occurs in the context of medical treatment or in dealing with government agencies and institutions because the staff in the hospitals, police stations or courts are not aware of the special situation faced by survivors of sexualised or domestic violence and cannot deal with their needs appropriately.
For this reason, one of the most urgent tasks for medica mondiale is to enhance the competence of specialists and occupational groups who have to deal with traumatised women and girls in their work – for example midwives, doctors, policemen and lawyers, especially those working in medica mondiale's own projects.


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We stayed at the Hotel Acadia early November 2013. It's the cutest little hotel and was clean and comfortable. It was a central location and we did not have trouble getting around old Quebec. The staff was extremely nice and friendly (and knew English). I didn't have an issue with the fact that there was no elevator but other people... More
- Also Known As:
- Acadia Hotel Quebec City
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The type who talks to you every day and is dying to impress you with how cool they can be, yet manages to only get smug over matters that show how ignorant they really are. Examples:
"PPhhh... I'd never get an iPhone, because with my Droid, I get my apps for free! You suckers pay for all yours!"
"Why are you using Linux? Can't afford the upgrade to Windows 7?"
"You don't need to encrypt your wireless if you don't do financial stuff online. It's just a scam to make you pay more for wifi."
Comments"You don't need to encrypt your wireless...." pay no attention to that van that is always lurking across the street... -Trillian i have many of my own valid reasons for shunning iphones.. no encrption or security on wireless... sooo what his address? i have some movies and MP3's to download -Harm The sad thing? He/She probably has far more qualifications than you and is thus considered a better employee to keep by HR. -fearmyroot Encryption costs money? -adarklite
CommentsThat sounds like one of my predecessors, who can't hold a job more than a few months. I'll have to remember this the next time he's the topic of conversation. -MadJack That describes my life - but I try not to bring everyone down by talking about it. -Divinar Life! don't talk to me about Life - brain the size of a planet and here i am doing menial task " Marvin can you pick up this peice of Paper" " Marvin can you run down to the air lock and escore our geusts to the bridge" and here im with this terible pain in all the diods down my left side. -Harm I'll just sit over in this corner, and rust. -FuzzyElf
CommentsYeah, I've done that once or twice. In my defense we were having email issues and it was needed for a (digital) paper trail. -unrenowned That, I can understand. But this person....every....single....email. Mainly because I put her in queue with the rest of the emails I recieve and she doesn't like waiting. -ravensentinel If someone is that antsy about an e-mail message, they should send it either delivery receipt or read receipt -Park7 tell them "go back to your desk and email me all the things you just did" every time they come over. ad infenitum... -gashach I've done that a few times - normally because I've sent the e-mail, then thought 'hmmm.. actually I need to know the answer to that before I can do anything else' - and I know most of my co-irkers won't reply until later in the day, so a visit is needed... -Shaede With me and most of my co-irkers receiving upwards of 150 emails a day, we regularly call out something that REALLY needs to be looked at. -AngrySup
CommentsYeesh, I have a hard enough time trying to keep users from putting butter knives into electrical outlets... -Biosynthetic Bio - why bother? -Captain Trips So that's his name... I've just been not telling them anything, on the grounds that they'd just repeat it sometime inopportune. -LDFeral
CommentsShe says that because love isn't always on time. -Calydor Calydor wins the internet. -thx1138 I suppose you could always find the nearest cell tower, and start rooting around; maybe you could find it! -LDFeral And why must HP and the social security administration have the same hold music? -AdmiralLaurie Because she doesn't want those damned Minbari to wipe out all life on the planet, of course (Please understand that, given my username, I really had to.) -Mollari
Commentsaka The Dark Side of Document, Document, Document. -Stryker One Sounds Like ISO 9000! -beatmewithstick That sounds exactly like my dad. He can't even do the simplest things on the PC, and even minor common sense leaps in logic invariably require multiple written steps. -skippytpodar I find they usually have no sense of humor either! -jerrybear As I have on my resume (cv), I'm ISO and Six Sigma 'friendly'. -AngrySup Reminds me of two I've dealt with in the past. One who needs pages and pages and pages of notes for using a remote to turn a device on and off. And one for whom everything (including a trip to Wal-Mart for groceries or just a simple question about his computer) is a huge hysterical event in which everyone involved has a nervous breakdown and is sent flowers. -clockkingfl Ugh. When I take pages and pages of notes, it's for something that needs it, usually a procedure in which many things can go bang just from one little mistake. -AdmiralLaurie People like that are the reason for my current job. All I do is document Help Desk procedures (and maintain the website where they reside). As a joke I wrote up the procedure on how to cut a cake at an office party. My boss told me to put it up on the site. -AmazingKreskin We have a tier 3 admin here that needs ALL the steps to recreate issues....down to the smallest detail. Including the basic ones like "Start Outlook." We wonder how he keeps his job. -Starfury
Barbie is a rather charming, attractive female co-worker with an office down the hall. She's good at her job, and is very much a "people person". However, I've noticed that in her interactions with me, she deliberately plays on my ego. Okay, maybe not me specifically, but pretty much any male employee. She's very, very good at getting her way by sprinkling a little bimbo dust.
This isn't meant to condemn her. As I said, I think very highly of her as both a person and a co-worker. Buuuuutttt... I didn't like the game that she had to play the helpless princess, and I the gallant knight, every time she needed me to show her what box to check in Excel. One day, she came up to me, and said "Ummm... if you wouldn't mind... Could you please come take a look at my problem, if you have time?" She did the pouty-lip thing, and her tone implied she'd asked me to give her a kidney, rather than just do my job.
She wasn't in true luser mode, so a full LART wouldn't be called for. Instead, we needed a LART-Lite. Something just to clear the air. In my most cheerful voice, I looked her dead in the eye, and said "You practice those faces in the mirror, don't you?"
Stunned. Absolutely stunned. While I didn't outright hurt her, you could tell I'd really surprised her. She nervously said "Yeah..." And off we went to solve whatever issue was perplexing her. Since then, she's come to me several more times, but never used the Bimbo Dust on me. She learned well that such will not earn my favor.
Instead, however, she has taken to forwarding boxes of Chick-Fil-A to my desk. THAT, on the other hand... *BFEG*
CommentsA trainable luser! Keep her! She's a prize! And if Mrs. LinkV disappears, and she's available, court her! -ralphp1024 If she feeds you chicken, she wants your beef. -burrkiss A new girl recently started work at my place of employment who's something like this.. not blonde or buxom, and doesn't really play helpless, but pretty, and always very pleasant. I just told her that there isn't anybody else who goes to such lengths to be nice to IT, and I appreciate it. I don't mind being buttered up by her, hehe. -NightSteel I try to be always nice. Though there was this one guy a couple of times accused me of furthering a political agenda by practicing good manners. o_O -Angelace Well played, sir! :) -Diptera i don't mind an occational ego stroking... but i can think of other "strokings" that would be even more welcome ;) -Harm Well played. Just the right amount of nuance. -PTSTech Nothing annoys me like the airhead act coming from a woman I know is smart. On the other hand, I understand that they do it because it works. -thx1138
CommentsTake the pen out of her hand when she touches the screen and use it to stab the guy when he starts fondling your lunch. -redevil34 You gotta speak up. Cant fix something ya dont know about. -burrkiss Minor problem, I believe it is common sense that you dont mess with someone's lunch while they are trying to eat it, and you dont write on an lcd screen. -OldScratch Maybe you're eating too many sandwiches. Get a lunch that requires knife and fork. Eat rapidly. It's not your fault if he puts his fingers in the way. -concept14
CommentsYou're not the only one. I hate having to hit Cancel an additional time before using the microwave because someone else thought to themselves "45 seconds?! But I want it now!", but it's even worse when I'm just walking past the microwave and notice it, BECAUSE I MUST PRESS THE BUTTON, even if I'm not using it. -AmazingKreskin I think it's more CDO, but I have that also. CDO is just like OCD, but it's in alphabetical order, JUST LIKE $DEITY MEANT FOR IT TO BE!!! -ralphp1024 ...and along those lines, people who put something in the micro and then walk away for "just a minute" meaning just after your lunch break is over. I usually warn those people that I will eat whatever is in there. -Biosynthetic It is. Both punishable by death and\or torture. -DarkRookie CDO: Compulsive Disorder of Obsessiveness? -DarkRookie My brother compulsively sets digital clocks if he sees them unset... and apparently I do the same while sleepwalking. Note for the microwave: "Food left standing in the microwave for longer than 1 minute after heating is complete will be deemed abandoned and may be discarded or eaten at will." -chazz 2 seconds in the microwave is a very pretty way to destroy data CDs! -Holdfast From the other side, I will always open the microwave a second or two before it's "done", mainly because I hate beeping things (too many years on phones). However, I will reset the damned thing after claiming my food. -Lusus I don't use the microwave at work, but at home, I will often stop it just before it finishes because the beep is annoying -Shaede I don't mind the beep, but now the damn thing is telling me "Enjoy your food" (on display, not voice). WTF? (Whirlpool, if anyone wants to avoid it) -madonnac
Dweezil is not a starfish in the strictest sense. He actually has a fair amount of computer knowledge. He knows at least enough to be dangerous, and has shown a propensity for locking down company computers for "security"... to the point where they're almost unusable. The problem with this is, he's not part of the IT department, and we really don't appreciate his going rogue on these matters. For various reasons, direct confrontation with Dweezil has been avoided, though we unofficially think there's a future LART with his name on it.
Flash forward to now, when Dweezil decided he wanted to go from "mild annoyance" to "just plain stupid." He works in a very small building that is only staffed by two people. As supervision is at a minimum, the company had concerns that staff could be goofing off, even sleeping on the job. Last week, I added a security camera to Dweezil's office area, to watch for just that. His brilliant solution? Tack a post-it note on the camera lens.
Not content to endanger his job merely by screwing with company equipment, Dweezil made it worse. His co-worker, sharing the shift, took down the post-it note and went out for a bit. when she returned, a damp paper towel had been placed over the lens.
... so let's get this straight. Sabatoging the camera alone is enough to get himself fired, but then he moves from a method that merely blocks the lens, to one that (theoretically) could moisten and damage it (however unlikely that is). Next, ask yourself, how dumb to you have to be to screw with a security camera, which is recording everything you do to it? Beyond that, getting caught doing it by being THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE BUILDING, and eliminating any possibility of reasonable doubt. Now, the kicker... Dweezil is in trouble for messing with a camera THAT WASN'T EVEN TURNED ON! I had to make a return trip to connect the power because the existing hookups didn't allow it. He'd put all that fuss into a dead camera, and he KNEW it was dead, because the monitor in the next room showed it!
On second thought, I don't think I'll LART him. At this rate, he'll LART himself.
CommentsBeen there - done that. My solution - fit a dummy camera in a very obvious place, then fit a pinhole fibre-optic fed camera in the opposite corner, where both the dummy and the aforesaid arsehole are both in full view. Works every time. <evil leer> -Gromit Is he still working there? -Park7 @Park7- He is... for now. -linkv *seconds Gromit's idea* -Grue Third the idea and post the video on youtube.... -Olorin Gotta give it to Gromit's idea - flawless victory in a LART of termination -Harm
Commentswhy look for a issue on the affected connection - lets see what happens when we fuck with the working stuff! -Harm More like 'Okay guys, we got nothing we can think of, except for this minor cleanup that Timmy, here, noticed. So, let's give it a go, and call it a day' -LDFeral
Commentshmm.. doing SFA and its YOUR fault? ya.. she is an insult to the ittelegence of turnips. Lemmings running off a cliff seems mensa material in comparison to her. so who'd she give a Happy ending to get this job? -Harm Let me guess -- is this another Miss Tigbits? (Seriously, the only reason the one female on our team is still with us is because she's the best damned tech we've got! THIS is a reason for employee retention. And no, she isn't a supermodel either.) Big tits do have their place, at the receptionist desk maybe, but NOT in tech support if that is her only employment qualification. -Captain Trips Why, yes, Captain, she is of the "Ms. Tigbits" caste. However did you guess. And she ain't much good on the desk either, since she's constantly on her damn cellphone, and acts like it's a huge inconvenience when asked to do silly things like...her job. -Grayhawk SFA? Unless it's #3, I don't get it. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=SFA -Stryker One @Stryker - Actually, it's #1, which is just a long-winded way of saying 'nothing'. -RDMcMains And tomorrow we'll be looking at reports of increased sugar consumption by the Football Association, and asking, does this mean sweet FA? </Two Ronnies> -chazz
I've referred to him in previous posts, but today, let's REALLY talk about Bossman. Bossman was a typical low-level manager for RetailComputerStore... barely half a rung above the front-line employees, but swallowing the company line like it had been given to him on two stone tablets. He was convinced if he did his masters's bidding, he'd be rewarded with a seven-figure-salaried corporate job Tuesday after next. Bossman's favorite management tactic was to put you in a no-win situation, remove all options at your disposal, and then make an example of you when you ended up failing. He liked to push you and encourage you to do something highly unethical, without actually coming out and telling you to do it. His weakness was that he honestly wasn't that bright about how he did it, and he could be caught pretty easily.
Take, for example, the day we put one of our waste-of-plastic laptops on a megasale for $269. We had 10 of them in stock, and each one was being sold at a $120 loss, which we were supposed to mitigate with the sale of accessories. This last point was a key complaint I had toward RCS and their business practices, but allow me to gloss over that, as the digression would detract from the story.
Long story short, we had a job to do: sell those 10 laptops at a minimal level of loss (profit was pretty much out of the question). First thing in the morning, in walk two asian guys. They see the laptop, and each one decides to buy one. It's a limit one per household, so this is legit as long as they're on two separate tickets. They don't want any extras, so I ring them up and they're on their way.
Bossman pulls me aside, ripping me a new one for letting them "take" me. "Those guys aren't buying that for themselves, they're going to try and resell it!"
"Yeah, probably, but there's not much I can do about that."
"Okay, fine. Well, EVERYBODY HUDDLE UP!! *everyone in the department gathers around, waiting for Bossman to impart his wisdom* Look, we just saw what happened. Now, we couldn't help that, but there is NO WAY we can afford to lose $120 on each one of these things, so LISTEN UP! In a case like this, where someone's probably going to buy to resell it, you gotta protect your business. Now, if those two guys come back, you tell them it's a limit of one per household."
I nodded. After all, up until this point, he was correct.
"...And I'll warn you, 'cuz I've seen this happen, they're probably in the car right now, on their cell phones, calling all their family members to come get one too. If they come in, you tell them it's out of stock, got it?"
Everybody but me nods.
"Uh, wait a second, Bossman. Now, I don't know these two guys, and I sure don't know anything about their family members. We don't have any way of knowing who they're related to and who they aren't. So exactly how am I supposed to make this judgment call, unless you're just plain telling us not to sell to anyone who's Asian?"
Bossman's smile said "Oh, my you're a wise lad", while his eyes said "Fuck you, you little ingrate." He started backpedaling faster than his little legs could carry him.
"Oh, well, I'm SO GLAD you brought that up. OF COURSE we could never discriminate like that! It's just... uh... you know... you gotta make sure you tell every customer it's one per houshold, that's all.."
CommentsYe gods. "Why don't you just come out and say it, boss? No more selling laptops to those goddamned gooks." WTF. -NightSteel I'm betting his thought process (and I use that term loosely) was "It's ok, we just wont sell any to anyone who looks like them... AWW CRAP!" -PoglaTheGrate You have witnesses. Report this to corporate HR. Be sure to emphasize he only backed down when someone pointed out what he was saying. Word it well, they can't afford to have someone who will discriminate like that. -Captain Trips Had a bossman like that at $retailStore who bore a startling resemblance to Elmer Fudd when I worked there in 2001. Every morning, he would give out the ass of the day award. It was literally a small el-cheapo trophy of the rear half of a donkey, given to whoever sold the fewest service plans the previous day. This was motivational, the same way Kim Kardashian has talent. We could only give it back to him when we had proof we sold our first service plan. Needless to say, it didn't take long before someone (anonymously of course) called corporate on it, and bossman's "award" was quickly ended. He did tons of other shady things too, including giving someone the monthly Sales award when they weren't even in Sales to begin with. -skippytpodar Just remember, 'boss' backwards is Double S.O.B. -MisterCommon
CommentsDo you work at a place that could be called "Indigo Start Point"? -Stryker One Stryker One - No, but I know of the company you're speaking of. We're the ones who right now keep the ISS working and are busy competing with folks like SpaceX on who is going to get up first to the ISS with a crew. They've got a "Capture the Flag" competition going now, first commercial crew to the ISS wins the flag. -VoiceOfSanity
Comments...And Don't get me started on PPPoA. -Seamus My apologies, PPPoW(wireless) is currently behind schedule. =D -desseb c:\>Punch * 255.255.255.255 -ravensentinel
Comments...and they say breaking a mirror (raid) is bad luck.... -Captain Trips Look on the bright side. Your boss will be impressed that you closed 6 tickets in five minutes! -thx1138
CommentsSherlock...you need to meet "NoShit". -lineswine At least the error was admitted... Remember always to use sweet words for you might have to eat them later. -Fortytwo Urwin's third law: the degree of stupidity implied by your mistake is directly proportional to your number and seniority of people to which you have previously stated that the blame definitely lay elsewhere, and also to the stridency and belligerence of that statement. -rurwin
CommentsSounds like a close relative of 'Mr. 33 Years Of Experience." I run them off-usually with something incredibly easy, but with a zillion repetive steps. "Do nothing else until you finish this." -jerrybear We have a guy like that in our office. We call him the Bear. He's hairy. -K Don't forget the famous...."but I shouldn't have to do that"....I shouldn't have to deal with you, so I guess we're sol. -mtuck
CommentsYou have encountered a BOFH. The only solution is to befriend him, give him beer, and make him like you. Else you will eventually.... Well, he is a BOFH after all. -virusjtg or the main switchboard, handing off cold-calling salespeople to the IT SERVICE DESK. No, I am not giving you a name and number of who you wish to talk to. No, I am not allowed to. No, neither is my supervisor, No, I don't have that information. No, no, no... ad nausaeum. Go Away, and GTFOMP. -figglywig Your mention of A-M reminded me of this. http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-11-11/ is your issue access/employment related? :P -0gr3 @Ogr3- Sort of. None of us is able to access the 'resolver' aspect of our work log database. We can 'dispatch' to ourselves but we can't close & resolve. Which means if not fixed before we leave, it'll look like we did nothing today. -Aelin236 Oh. I haven't felt the pain of Lotus Notes in so long. I had forgotten about it. I'll probably have nightmares tonight. -MrsCheezil Sounds like one I had from the manager of the electronics department, he sent someone down to my department for something that only they would have a hope of carrying in the store because it's for a cell phone product (that they are the only ones in the store that carry them). I was left speechless when I found out that the customer had already been there. -spectreoflife Now, see, I always liked Lotus Notes. I wish my current company used it. It was so much easier to do all my network and systems documentation (and to find it all)... /sigh. -TechMama
Comments*shrug* I have done the same ass well. Sometimes poeple have webmail or mobile phones and in one case, with a particularly sweet but clueless user, I even helped her copy a file she received via mail to a USB pendrive and then onto the device in question. -Fortytwo Ooops, again typoed a bad word... (see tech rule) must be virtual tourettes. -Fortytwo
Comments<starfish_mode>"But, but, but... how do I get the red arrows on my screen? I don't see any red arrows on my screen!" </starfish_mode> -Voz "But the window isn't the same size as the one in the picture!" -AmazingKreskin 'What is a click?' -DarkRookie http://lmgtfy.com/?q=define%3A+click -ravensentinel OMG...you must have spoken to the same customer that we had here two months ago! -TheLabAdmin 1, Aquire a slow net connection for a few moments. 2, Open up an IE window, and point it to some delicious Goatze. 3, BEFORE page loads, take a screenshot. 4, Use this screenshot in your future guides, anybody who copies the url in the picture rather than the one in the text will LART themselves. -Vie
CommentsI would like to pimp-slap those kind of folks. That's not a word that anyone should use, regardless of where or how. Yeah, some folks are unable to function at the "average level" (whatever that is.) for one reason or another, but those people usually try really hard and deserve respect. Not so, such scummy folks who'd use that word to avoid having to pull up their big boy, or girl, shorts and deal with learning how to do something new. </rant> -ChildofCthulhu "I'm sorry, I'm held-back." - Is that better? -Seamus Wasn't that an episode of Family Guy? "Sorry. Retarded." -NightSteel Yea, the episode was called "petarded". Wikipedia listing here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petarded. -RoadDemon It seems that a lot of bad things happen by mistake. What we need to do is get rid of mistake. I say we ship it off to Iran. -atomicbill I tend to say: Sorry, I have not had the time to finish my 1st coffee. -Fortytwo
CommentsAnd the helldesk manager doesn't have the balls to fire his lazy ass? -Captain Trips More that he doesn't have the authority to do so, since he's officially not a supervisory (just a temporary until the permanent selection is made), and the HellDesk is considered a seperate section of the department. -skippytpodar lol Reminds me of my co-worker who has been in the buisness for over 20+ years..... Proceeded to burn an .iso file to the disk. yes,he copied it to CD and wondered why it wouldn't boot. -LilFarkette If this Cow-orker is a government employee, that could also explain his longevity. -BayouTech To be honest, I've made the .iso->CD mistake myself, but only because of the bass-awkwards software that the client was DEAD SET on using because it was what came with their obscure off-off-off brand CDR. THAT said, this cow needs to be put out to pasture. With a rusty sledgehammer. And then burned. -Lusus
CommentsOf course, they won't read the emails, but it does provide a lovely paper trail for blamestorming later on. -Geminii
CommentsI should meet her :) -virusjtg Whenever I meet someone like this, I'm tempted to just walk up and lick their face to see their brain explode out their ears. -TheCyberwolfe The only way way I could <da> this for Skippy would be if the co-worker is currently in a food service or "hands-on" medical area with his agency, rather than in an office area. At our hotel, if I see any co-worker in food service ignoring hand-washing procedures required for the position, you can bet I'll be addressing it, or reporting it. An outbreak of disease in a food establishment could be enough to kill the company; an outbreak of MRSA in a medical facility could kill real people. Having said that, I meet a lot of people that take it to extremes, and would want to sterilize the carpet, if they could! -Voz LOL@thecyberwolfe -THETECHFROMHELL This lady is probably the same kind of person who eats her own boogers. -linuxmatt You should work in healthcare. I may be IT, but I have very clean hands... -Holdfast <da> if she has a genuine mental condition and se gets fired for being all fastidious about other washing their hands she may have a case for unfair dismissal. She MAY not just be a total hose-beast and a lack extreme cleanliness MAY actually cause her mental anguish. </da> I personally am voting for the hose-beast option -PoglaTheGrate I do a lot of hand washing and dousing in either alcohol or sanitiser, whichever is closer. That being said, I don't hold my aid to the same standards. She always pull her hair back and washes her hands when making food or drink. I'm happy with that. -AdmiralLaurie Wash what now? Hands? Huh? Why? You can't eliminate all the buggy-wuggies, nor SHOULD you, and besides, the moment you touch anything else, er, NEW COLONIES!!! I hate handwashing freaks. No offense to those of you with legitimate mental problems. -Lusus There was someone like this at my last job. I loved it when she took her lunch break. I would come by to chat with her manager (who sat across from her) and would mess with every setting on her chair, move things a half inch on her desk and move her keyboard. When she asked me for help I would intentionally rub my nose with the back of my hand before taking over her keyboard and before she can protest. She'd spend the rest of the day cleaning and her boss thought it was pretty funny, too. -CelticSkyhawk <da @PoglaTheGrate> I've got too many problems on my own to have to cater to everyone else's personal dysfunctions. I don't have any right to hold anyone to my dfs either. -daeglo
Commentsomg if I had a nickel for everytime I heard ok click control panel "I dont have control panel" ok read what's on your start menu. "Games, computer, control panel, shut do-" ok click that. "My computer just turned itself off." XD -Godbody7
CommentsPop up, not pup up. -concept14 The 2015 version of Super professional Outlook- sends a puppy to pee on his/her/its ankles!!! -jerrybear If you enable here office assistant as a puppy it could pup up. -PolarCoyote
CommentsI'd just smile and ask him to submit his request in an email so as to provide all the relevant info including what you want done with it and it will be processed in due course with the other requests. Once this is received work will proceed based on the info provided, if you don't provide all the info we will have to request updated info at that time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure the servers don't die over the weekend. -spectreoflife
Comments*commiserates* Yep, got one of those here too. -Grue I know someone who I can be having a normal conversation with and suddenly, a soft buzz and before I can react, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ASSHOLE CANT YOU FUCKING TELL I HAVE TO ANSWER MY PHONE?" Then after the call is over, the person won't say a damn word to me for hours. This person also frequently texts while driving, but the second she sees somebody in another car with a phone up to their ear, she will go into an hour-long tirade about how stupid people are who use their phones while driving. -linuxmatt We had a co-irker at my last place, who I once saw entertaining a female sales-rep while wearing a tee-shirt that read "take off the lace and sit on my face." More to the point, he came out of a personal review session complaining loudly "he said I've got an attitude problem; what the fuck does he mean by that?" -rurwin
CommentsHave sex with him. That outta make him cry. -burrkiss Call him at home and ask to speak to his mother, because you think you left something there. -Bioguy if you have a nice configurable firewall, route his system through a specific port. Then set the port to run a script that automatically flips the incoming text on webpages. See how long it takes him to fix that one. :) -SwedishChef SC, I would, except I'm not IT where I work, and he doesn't use a computer at work -HappyCrappy Phew, for a second there Happy I thought you were talking about me :P -0gr3 Take him to the dankest, darkest, deepest basement dive bar with the oldest and most cantankerious old men you can find, chain him to the bar and allow the rambling to work its magic. -SpitefulTech too bad about the lack of computer use or you could probable get him with the desktop screenshot technique. -Icelator take him to a cougar bar - lift his walet and any forms of cash / ID. Have him drink about 2 fingers of scotch (|..| 2 fingers the right way) and leves him to the cats. OH and take his phone as well - he probably hasn't locked it so send variouse horrible messages from his email account and facebook. -Harm I have three words for you...."Blue Oyster Club" </Police Academy> -lineswine I do know it all and my shit doesnt stink -DarkRookie Hey, DR, I think you need to have your olfactory senses checked. -ecoli @burrkiss- chances are the kid would like that too much. I say handcuff him to a water pipe at the local elk lodge or whatever you have. Maybe VFW office/center too? -Aelin236 Send him to my mother in law for the day. By the end of it, he will either want to off himself, or commit himself to the psych ward. -TechieSidhe Ship him to me. I have access to a soundproofed room and several ingenious devices. -Obsi Get a mate to come in/call up for help with a Sinclare ZX81 webserver (Apparently its possible, not sure how exactly). Let's see him cope with a 30 year old membrane keyboard and a 3mhz processor. -Vie
CommentsI think that's misnamed. I'd call this co-irker type 'Dead Man Walking.' -Aelin236 "Hey Bob, I was told you'd have those specs to me three days ago. Is there anything I can help you with?" -AngrySup Also known as "About to be severely disappointed." -Geminii
CommentsAs you're female, if the oblivious side of the collision is male there's a reasonable chance it's intentional...FYI. -Grue There's a chance it's intentional even if the "oblivious" party is female, I believe... -chazz That spaced out expression is due to their trying to type a text message one-handed while driving then suddenly realizing that someone else might actually be on the road. "Stop texting and drive!" < Yeah, I got rear-ended a couple of weeks ago, and not in a good way!.....waiting for Burkiss comment.> -TubPorsche
CommentsSounds like my former cow-irker, "The Legend In His Own Mind." The sort who thinks he knows everything but doesn't have a clue to the simplest stuff. -VoiceOfSanity
CommentsSounds suspiciously like Radio Shack... -beatmewithstick I could never work in retail; my mind just will not translate POS correctly. Although in the current context, it's probably right. -rurwin Whew, rurwin, I thought I'd never get counted as a grown-up, because I kept giggling every time someone used POS that way. -LDFeral And, by giggling, I mean guffaw-ing in a manly way. -LDFeral LD: Just for you http://bash.org/?2680 SFW -DarkRookie
CommentsThis is a family member type as well. But if you think of it as two melodies in counterpoint, occasionally they do surprise you by ending up on the same note. -concept14 As long as you have pairs of these, they become a blessing. They tend to keep each other busy so we don't have to listen to and/or avoid them. -Aelin236 I used to have an Aunt and Uncle who would both talk to you simultaneously, on the same topic, but not listen to each other, so you were holding two different conversations about the same thing, and desperately trying to keep track of what you'd said to each of them. -Diptera Sadly, this is my boyfriends way of communication. Thinks everyone want to listen to only him. Never mind what the other person in the room is saying........ -LilFarkette
CommentsName and shame dude, name and shame. -flapjackboy I don't understand this. What benefit does the company get from doing this? -linuxmatt Your employer pays for your unemployment. Some employer's refuse to do so. -adarklite Not sure about the rules where you live, but Where i am from, The general advice is to fight it. The employer is hoping that you don't fight so they don't have to pay. Usually when you do fight, they tend to lose.(usually by not showing up at hearings) -RoadDemon Here's how it hurts companies here in Califironia: Companies are required to pay into unemployment insurance but this is never audited until someone files a claim - at which time the company is supposed to pay up the back-due premiums. If they can nullify the unemployment claim, they aren't forced to pay what they legally are required to pay. But all of this is supposed to be finalized prior to the first payment. To pay you for three months, then insist on the money back? That's just chicken-shit. -Captain Trips Typical. The Nowhere Man? Lost his job a few weeks back (He's a "chef") @ a french restaurant in La Jolla. The owner & his two top managers, all born French citizens, hired illegals, & have gotten in trouble before. Word is they decamped for Paris on a Sunday, and Tuesday the Feds swooped in & shut the business D-O-W-N, took posession of everything but the employee's personal gear. They got their last paychecks under the eyes of armed marshals; and then when the owners returned to the US all lawyered up? They refused to pay any unemployment claims. -MadJack
CommentsFind a broken one. Place it prominently. When they notice it, go, oh, sorry, I forgot that one, and helpfully retrieve it.. before *OOPS* dropping it. Sorry, guess I don't have one after all.. -NightSteel The one today wanted a tape recorder to Cover butt on a phonecall. If I'd had one of the old reel to reel jobs, the 30 pounders, I'd have let her have it just to watch her go "I don't know how to use this?!?!" -ChildofCthulhu "... that's if I order the part today, which I won't." "really?" "yes!" ... "What if I were to shake your hand in, this wise" -AdmiralLaurie
CommentsNot necessarily "idiot", but definitely lazy. It's easier to code for "sales==ship" than it is for "stock required-stock on hand+sales==ship", after all. -Grue Isn't Stock on Hand =< trigger level ==Ship easier to code? -PolarCoyote No, because you then have to code a column trigger level into your table. You likely need 20 Monster Cable 6' HDMI on the shelf, but Ghu forbid you keep 20 Alienware gaming monster machines... so every line item needs a trigger amount. -chazz Shouldn't it be more of the application/website designer's fault for this? I'm a DB admin and the website (or other application) does all the calculations and the database just holds the data. There are a few jobs that run that do minor things like set flags here and there or run maintenance tasks, but all the calculation comes from outside the DB (sometimes based on those flags mentioned). -ravensentinel Mind you, you can have the system set the trigger levels as max(1,weekly_average_sales+25%) on a per item basis. -McSmiley Is this the African or European swallow? -lineswine
We have 2 of the tier 2 people that are generally useless. When you send a ticket one will give a boilerplate "refreshed policies/have user reboot" response and the other will come back with "I don't understand/I need the steps to reproduce."
All of us here are a bit tired of this...and I'm doing the back and forth with the 2nd one since he can't actually tell me WHAT needs to be done to fix the user's issue.
I really want a new job.
CommentsI hear ya!! Most of our tech people are that way. Got a user who's email name won't correct itself. I went from tier 1, me, to tier 2 then 3 with no fix but somehow, the problem was "resolved". So I tried going straight to tier 4 support, and low and behold, they send it back to tier 2 after telling tier 4 that tier 2 and 3 didn't fix it the first time. I gave up. -ravensentinel i know that way too well. ours is an engineer. technically accurate yet useless answeres. always lost. unless given exacting instructions - freezes up. -Harm Tier 2 techs are supposed to be the competent folks. They're the ones you'll have in a company that are actually on the floor, or in a group such as remote access support who have all the clues. Tier 1 folks are just the script readers, and the Tier 3/4 gurus are trotted out only when it's a very serious (read company-wide) issue, or the problem is so esoteric. To be useless as a Tier 2 usually means someone screwed up seriously, as you're supposed to weed out the clueless. -VoiceOfSanity I get those 2. I get send backs like please put more detail in your notes. WTF..your Tier 2 so should i do screenshots for you too? -Angelace If they need steps to reproduce, perhaps they shouldn't be reproducing. >_> -Omega
CommentsSo, you'll let us know when you respond "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to..."...right? -ChildofCthulhu I've seen that print somewhere on the 'net. Alexei was a pretty good artist, if I recall. (Valentina's only real qualification as a cosmonaut was that she was a paratrooper - those first Soviet capsules couldn't land softly enough to survive, so the early cosmonauts would jump at a safe altitude, the rescue crew would bring them to the capsule, close them in, and then start the cameras.) -Captain Trips Captain Trips - The print's entitled "Seagull", and I managed to snag mine (without a fight) on eBay without paying an arm and a leg for it. Certificate of authenticity and everything. It may not be computer related, but we're all geeks around here, and how much geekier is it to have some real space stuff? (I've also snagged through work a pin that was made from metal flown in space.) -VoiceOfSanity The only space I deal with is the space between a Lusers' ears. -lineswine @Lineswine: That too is infinite... -Quark Lineswine, Quark: ...and completely devoid of matter of any sort, even rarefied gas. -chazz Lineswine, Quark, Chazz: ...and Tech Support's "quantum question" is, "how can infinite density exist in a total vacuum?" -Voz Voz: isnt that how the big bang got its start? kinda makes ya wonder what will happen when the perfect startfish explodes -SimianMilitant
CommentsIndeed. Welcome back! -Grue <devil's advocate> If everyone knows he is incompetent, why do they sign off on anything he does without actually reading said work AND disagreeing with points as required? He deserves the blame too, but I wouldn't lay it at his feet alone if someone else agreed to go forward without stopping it first. </devil's advocate> -CelticSkyhawk
CommentsMost assuredly, 'tis one of the legion of Murphy's Minions! Quick! Send for an Old Shaman, a Young Gypsy, 2 goats, some cottage cheese with pineapple chunks in and a copy of Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits Volume 3! -ChildofCthulhu Dammit CoC, that's for the love potions, not an exorcism. -LazyLemming CoC got it right. The love potion is two *sheep* and Barry *White's* greatest hists, instead of the goats and Barry Manilow. -Jeckler This is the kind of thing which makes network-wide monitoring of unlisted software a priority. And the SLA for such software should be to refer all requests for support to the programmer's direct boss. -Geminii
CommentsDSFB - "Dog 'Stuff' Fer Brains" -TieDyedDinosaur A fun (l)user is always good to have. There are so many games you can play together! For those that have heard 'A child's garden of grass'... -AngrySup Stick Quiz <ow!> -AngrySup Find your foot. -AngrySup "I'm trapped in the refrigerator" -AngrySup
CommentsNot all salespeople are greedy lying scum. I worked in an insurance agency and they had some really upstanding individuals doing sales. But, ya, this guy sounds like a crook. -Aelin236 In my experience, guilty until proven less guilty. -LDFeral If I were in this situation, I would start quietly contacting my stolen customers and asking them if they appreciate the service I've given them. If they did, then I would tell them what was happening, then suggest that they call in and demand that I be put back on their account. Depending on how close I was to those people, of course. -NightSteel If going over his head doesn't work, try a lateral - go to HR. If not that, then go to your local labor board - he is taking unfair advantage of his position. -Captain Trips With around ten years of different types of sales experience under my belt... I totally agree with your comments. Almost everyone I saw that was high up on the sales corporate ladder was a lying, dodgy POS -PoglaTheGrate
Commentsthat's cool... small world! -JoeLugian Thank you sir! When our powers combine, captain BOFH! -virusjtg PTSTech, you have my deepest sympathies. <evil grin> -Gromit Make sure all your shots are up to date, grats on the new job virus -Olorin small small world eh? -Harm It's not that it's a small world, actually, it's that it's folded over so many times... -chazz Shouldn't we all have something in common? At the very least how much we hate out customers? :) -ravensentinel
CommentsHer milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? -AussieFoot POIDH -0gr3 HairTech does that from time to time, if the outfit she wears to work has no pockets for her phone. -Grue Grue, does she pull her phone out in front of people, exposing far more cleavage than needed to qualify as street walker, let alone business casual? -CelticSkyhawk Mrs.'shan does this A LOT. Not that she doesn'thave pockets,she just FEELS LIKE IT. -udoshan Pictures or it didn't happen! <evil lecherous leer> -Gromit I would have her on speed dial. :) -Crispy06 Double trap: Deep cleveage, and a smart media phone buried in there playing a porn clip. -CyBear Yeah but it's the last place a pickpocketer will look o.o So uhm that's where I uh..stuff valuable stuff to >.> <.< -Angelace Yeahbut... AngelAce, if you need something out of there, do you go after it in such a way that you flash just anyone, or only the fiancé? I think part of Skyhawk's complaint is that he is made uncomfortable by having that much revealed to him... -chazz Once, back in the heyday of Nokia, I got a new, slim, motorola flip phone. I put it down on the table in the conference room as I, took my seat among the 7 male coworkers, and one looks at me and says, "Oh, you got a new phone? It's really small. I bet you could just put that in your....never mind." -MrsCheezil Seriously, though... that really is bad for you, carrying your phone right next to your skin. -TechMama ...but with some people, it's worse for the phone! -Voz No I don't fish it out in public. And I only do that if I know I am in a public place that I know is going to have a lot of pickpockets or when I commute at night. It's usually off though. -Angelace Could be worse. In a previous job I had customers who would pull sweaty money out of their bras (or waistbands) to pay me with. -thx1138 i too am a stuffer... *holds head in shame* -crazyblkndn @thx1138 I know what you mean. I rang up a sucktomer that pulled sweaty stinking bills out of her bra. When I refused to take it, she accused me of racism (me white, her black). Called another salesperson from the back (black also) explained the situation. He took one look at her and then the money just said "EWWW" and went back to the back. Sucktomer left in a huff and was never heard from again. -Reepyr
CommentsIn this case, he installed only about half the programs, didn't check ANY of them, didn't even run the post-install configuration on the most important one, didn't install *any* printers, and finally when asked to fix one or more of the above he only did about half the necessary work, meaning I *still* can't print to 11x17 from standard software - my computer doesn't recognize that the printer can handle it, and I don't know how to fix that (Win7) and don't have time to actually fix it. -Transkaren I had a coworker like this once. He couldn't get Outlook Express to save the customer's password. He 'looked around' for ten to fifteen minutes and 'couldn't find' the solution. Took me less than five to find the solution, print it out, and make the changes to the registry. Of course, it also took 45 minutes to drive out there... -Cyan Sounds like a goodly portion of our desktop support staff....sigh. -TubPorsche
CommentsSo just change their password in AD and tell them of the change, by email! -Wraith556 One customer emailed me tonight that he had left his door open and I never stopped by. Ah, that would be why I left you voice mail yesterday morning asking when YOU would be IN your office. I don't know your password to set up your email client. -crazymactech That's why I assign and keep track of all my Luser's passwords...including the Bosses (owners). Granted we're a very small company, but it does come in handy allot! -ChildofCthulhu
TechSupportComedy (c) 2003-2013 all rights reserved. Any and all trademarks acknowledged.


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Definitions Peplum Pencil Dress
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- Was £35.00
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- Now £29.00
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- Next day delivery available
1 reviewDefinitions Pencil Dress with Peplum Style Detailing
Elegant and traditional with a fun, youthful twist
Introducing our latest exclusive brand ready for AW13, Definitions features structured cuts, tailoring and sharp styles for style driven women who want a high-end fashion finish. Focusing on smart, sophisticated investment pieces for your office, evening, casual and occasion wardrobes, Definitions is all about strong statements.
Adding panache to your office wardrobe, this pencil dress by Definitions deserves to become one of your 9-5 favourites.
Black and white channels the monochrome look of the season and effortlessly adds a Parisian quality. In hot pink, the hue is bold, striking and feminine and will become the focus of your look. Creating a peplum feel, the fabric to the side of the hips flatters this often wider area for a shape-enhancing fit.
Reinforcing your demure look wear this piece with bare legs and pointed toe court shoes. For a more winter-inspired style try it with opaque tights and suede shoe boots.
Whatever you do, do it in style
Useful info:
- Dress by Definitions
- Pencil fit
- Fabric panels to side
- Zip fastening to the back
- Length: 38 inches
Pleat detail on body and sleeves. Side zip fastening. Button detail at back of neck. Approx length 36 inch.
Colour: Multi. Viscose. Machine washable. -
AX Paris Crochet Neck Midi Dress
- Price
- £30.00
- In Stock
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- Next day delivery available
5 reviewsAX Paris Bodycon Midi Dress with Crochet Neck
Make your friends green with envy in this gorgeous midi dress by AX Paris - it's perfect for working show-stopping style this season.
In a beautiful bodycon fit, this piece contours your shape to show off your stunning hourglass figure, whilst the midi length keeps your look ultra sophisticated. Bold, textured and luxe, the contrast crochet detail to the neck adds lashings of statement style impact as well as a vintage-inspired appeal.
Wear with killer platform shoes, a statement chunky bangle and a cute clutch bag for a glam, yet elegant finish to your evening look.
Useful info:
- Bodycon dress by AX Paris
- Sophisticated midi cut
- Contrast crochet neck
- Length: 41 inches
South Peter Pan Collar Cut Out Dress
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2 reviewsPeter Pan collar dress. Button front.
Colours: Cream, Navy. Viscose. Machine washable.Beaded Bow Neck Dress
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- Low stock, selling fast
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2 reviewsDefinitions Contrast Colour Dress with Embellished Bow
Work a hint of feminine charm into your 9-5 sophisticated wardrobe
Focusing on smart, sophisticated investment pieces for your office, evening, casual and occasion wardrobes, Definitions is all about strong statements.
Office-friendly and ideal for after work dinner dates, this beautiful dress by Definitions is the perfect addition to your smart, sophisticated wardrobe.
Featuring beaded embellishment in the shape of a bow to the chest, this piece gives the classic pencil dress a cute, contemporary update. The embellishment sparkles as the light catches it and lends textured luxe to this frock. The fusing of colours, although contrasting, works beautifully for a chic and elegant finish.
The panelled waistband cinches your waist to define your womanly figure, whilst the pencil skirt contours to your shape for a stunning style. Button fastenings to the back complement the elegance of this piece as well as perfecting the fit.
Wear with black court shoes and a chic black, fitted blazer for a fashion-savvy 9-5 look. Add a pair of peep toe platforms with ankle cuffs and a cute clutch bag for after work glam.
Whatever you do, do it in style
To maintain the shape and colours of this dress, please dry clean only.
Useful info:
- Dress by Definitions
- Beaded bow design
- Capped sleeves
- Button up back
- Panelled waistband
- Pencil skirt style
- Length: 36 inches
AX Paris Aztec Skater Dress with Lace Waistband
- Price
- £30.00
- Low stock, selling fast
- Delivery
7 reviewsAX Paris Aztec Print Skater Dress with Lace Waistband
This flared pleat skater dress by AX Paris is a wardrobe essential, it's the perfect going out dress and will make a statement at the next party.
In a skater style, this piece flares out in the right places for a gorgeous flattering shape, whilst the vintage-inspired lace waistband cinches you in revealing your feminine curves. The stunning Aztec print exudes attitude and style for a fierce look, whilst the pleated skirt and capped sleeves adds a flirty touch. A subtle back zip fastening secures the fit for a stunning finish.
Wear with killer heels and clutch bag for a glam party outfit or keep it casual with sandals.
Useful info:
- Skater dress by AX Paris
- All-over Aztec print
- Chunky lace waistband
- Short capped sleeves
- Back zip fastening
- Length: 53 inches
Vero Moda Kelly Cap Sleeve Midi Dress
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4 reviewsPrinted jersey tube midi dress. Cap sleeves. Length: 42 inch (approx).
Prints may vary.
Colour: Multi. Polyester. Machine washable.Holly Willoughby Tartan Frill Hem Dress
In soft brushed check fabric with tuck detail to the skirt. Length: 38 inch.
Colour: Magenta. 93% polyester, 5% viscose, 2% elastane. Machine washable.


text: The Honda CBR1100XX Blackbird was the world's fastest production motorcycle when launched in the summer of 1996, ripping the title away from the legendary Kawasaki ZX-11. Two years later the title had passed to the Suzuki Hayabusa. Nonetheless the Blackbird has earned a solid reputation as a powerful, fast, smooth and very reliable sport-touring motorcycle. As an example of its reliability, Dale Wilson rode over 1500 miles a day on a Blackbird for seven consecutive days in late spring of 2007, setting a motorcycle endurance record. The Blackbird name is an obvious nod to the Lockheed SR-71 aircraft. CBR1100XX Blackbird Fairings


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Please stay tuned for 2013 press release
For Immediate Release
Writers of all levels will have an opportunity to learn from some of the best in their field at the annual Summer in Words Writing Conference, June 15-17, 2012 in Cannon Beach, OR—April 23, 2012
Best-selling author Chelsea Cain will headline the roster for the 5th annual Summer In Words Writers Conference at the Hallmark Inn & Resort in Cannon Beach, Oregon. A full weekend of workshops, lectures, panels and individual consults will inspire writers at all levels. The theme for this year's conference is Refinement, Resonance & Renewal. SIW provides aspiring and established writers the opportunity to hone their writing skills, hear inspiring advice, and network with fellow writers. Cost for all three days is $265.00; single day pricing is also available.
This year's conference kicks off Friday morning, June 15th with workshops taught by Jessica Morrell, Bruce Holland Rogers and Naseem Rakha. Friday's workshops will be followed by a reception and book signing with books from Cloud & Leaf Bookstore and a talk by Sage Cohen. Saturday features workshops by Jessica Glenn, Sage Cohen, and Cathy Lamb and a luncheon and keynote by Chelsea Cain. Saturday night is Out Loud, a chance for participants to read from a work in process. Sunday morning includes a workshop by Jessica Morrell, Cathy Lamb describing her road to best sellerdom, and a panel on Risk It To Get Published.
Conference founder Jessica Morrell said, "We are excited to celebrate the fifth year of Summer in Words with such a stellar line up of speakers and workshops. I'm especially looking forward to Chelsea's talk on how to murder for money. Of course, she's talking about writing her thriller series. This year's workshops and talks will give writers a big advantage in today's ever-changing publishing landscape."
Both beginning and established writers are invited to attend the conference. SIW will also feature a raffle with proceeds going to Write Around Portland, an organization that helps people transform their lives through writing and the Hoffman Center for Arts in Manzanita.
Cannon Beach, Oregon is vibrant community on Oregon's coast known for its love of the arts and books. The Hallmark Inn & Resort is located in midtown and overlooks Haystack Rock. Discounted room rates are available for conference participants. Cloud & Leaf Bookstore will be selling books at the event.
Visit any of the instructors' websites or blogs:
Chelsea Cain http://chelseacain.com/
Sage Cohen http://pathofpossibility.com/
Jessica Glenn http://mindbuckmedia.com/contact.shtml
Cathy Lamb http://www.cathylamb.net/
Jessica Morrell: www.jessicamorrell.com
Naseem Rakha http://www.naseemrakha.com/
Bruce Holland Rogers http://www.shortshortshort.com/
The registration fee of $265 covers tuition for the three-day conference, Friday night's reception, Saturday lunch and keynote, and light breakfasts each morning. Friday night's Writer's Reception and the Saturday lunch and keynote are $25.
Contact Jessica Morrell to arrange an interview with any of the presenters.
About Summer in Words: Founded in 2008 by Jessica Morrell Summer in Words was created to provide writers with an intimate conference experience in an uplifting setting so that attendees are energized, enlightened, and inspired. Jessica Morrell is the author of Thanks, But This isn't for Us, Bullies, Bastards & Bitches, How to Write the Bad Guys in Fiction, The Writer's I Ching, Wisdom for the Writing Life, Voices From the Street, Between the Lines, Master the Subtle Elements of Fiction Writing, and Writing Out the Storm.
Press release key words: Cannon Beach, writing conference, refinement, resonance, renewal, workshops, bestselling authors, Cloud & Leaf book store, Hallmark Inn & Resort, Out Loud, Chelsea Cain, Sage Cohen, Jessica Glenn, Cathy Lamb, Jessica Morrell, Naseem Rakha, Bruce Holland Rogers
For the complete schedule or any information or to register, contact conference coordinator Jessica Morrell at 503 287-2150 or jessicapage(at)spiritone(dot)com or conference assistant Mary Drew at mary.drw (at)gmail(dot)com
Registrations can be mailed to Summer in Words, P.O. Box 820141, Portland, OR 97282-1141. Payment can also be sent through PayPal.
Website is http://summerinwords.wordpress.com


text:
Hasbro.com/avengers is the official site of Avengers Toys and Avengers Action Figures from Hasbro. Play Avengers online games and watch Avengers videos.
Feel just like your favorite armored hero with this brilliant Iron Patriot mask! When you pull on the mask you'll feel like the coolest armored Avenger in the neighborhood! Adjust the straps for a comfortable fit and get ready for sweet Iron Patriot adventures. When your mission takes you to the ......More
Multibillionaire industrialist Tony Stark has lived a double life as the hero Iron Man for decades. He is an engineering genius; the best weapons designer on the planet. He personally builds every iteration of the Iron Man armor, trusting no one but himself with the powerful technology he harnesses. ......More
Brought together by the trickery of the evil god LOKI and bonded by their mutual heroism, these mighty adventurers form the core of what will become the world's greatest team of Super Heroes. Separately, each is incredibly powerful, with advanced technology, ancient magic, and endless strength on ......More


text:
December 12, 2013
A shooting at a hospital in Alabama early (Saturday) morning leaves one person dead and three injured.
It happened at Saint Vincent's Hospital in Birmingham.
Police say a man shot two employees and a police officer on the fifth floor around 4 a-m.
A second officer shot and killed the gunman.
The three victims suffered non-life-threatening injuries.
There's no word on why the suspect opened fire.
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text:
Overview |
Institution Type: | Public |
Campus Setting: | Mid-size city |
Highest Degree Offered: | Master's |
Level of Institution: | Four or more years |
Calendar: | Semester |
It's okay, but I don't like the fact I didn't get any scholarships and they didn't tell my why. I also didn't like the fact I had to find out…
I love APSU. It may be my hometown college but it keeps me focused. I'm not trying to explore a new city or find out where the night-life is. …
Austin Peay State University is a clean, friendly and affordable. The teachers I have worked with are understanding and knowledgeable of their chosen professions. The course availability and class curriculum's…
Austin Peay is a school where you have every resource to learn and grow more, A lot of programs are there to help you out in all ways. I feel…
The classes are small enough to where you can know your teacher and they know you. Everyone is friendly and willing to help. The campus isn't too big or too…
I am enjoying the people that I am meeting that come from all different walks of life. APSU has a lot to offer incoming freshmen especially during your freshmen orientation. There is always something happening on campus from concerts, to games to family weekends (which my little sister truly enjoyed attending).
Read MoreLOVE THIS SCHOOL. great education, great people, and so much fun!
Read MoreI love Austin Peay. It feels good to walk around campus and people knows your name. Campus life is a very wonderful experience and I am currently enjoying every minute.
Read MoreThere is so many peole and sctiviyies. I recently found the rock climbing wall in the FOY and now i am lving there.
Read MoreAustin Peay has a great campus and a wonderful variety of Student Organizations to be involoved in!
Read More


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