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CommentsI would have loved to have heard the reaction when you confiscated the user's phone. I assume it'll be returned when it's been checked for govt data... or wiped and reformatted. (Sorry about the loss of the contact list and teh boobie pix.) -SalParadise Technically, it becomes gov't property after that, but I'm not all mean... Ok, I lied. He ended up trying to get his supervisor to talk to my supervisor who sided with me and thusly, chain of command got involved and now he's really not getting his phone back, and he's getting written up. -ravensentinel Really, after it got confiscated, you'd think that the sensible thing to do would be to look up the regulations that they'd just broken... and shut up and hope that nobody bothered to take it any further. When you're in a hole, STOP DIGGING! -MyCatVerbs How did you manage to pry the phone from his hands in the first place? -SpiderRider3
CommentsThat may not be a total misconception, depending on the job and the software involved. </da> -ralphp1024 Her job description... Word, Excel, answering phones... :) -skippytpodar Some people do not know how to use the keyboard for windows commands. -deedadee I would say it's safe to say that the majority of the people I've supported don't even know that most mouse functions can be done by the keyboard. -BayouTech Most people at least have papers to file, mail to drop off, or something. -Mer If she needs a mouse to answer the phone, there's more wrong here than a broken mouse, seriously. -RDMcMains RDMcMains, let me introduce you to Microsoft Lync, the *new* idea they've pushed at work... no desk phone, your computer has a USB headset and... wait for it... you need a mouse to click the spot to answer the phone. -VoiceOfSanity I'll add that part of "answering the phone" is forwarding calls and/or taking notes. No mouse == can't use the PC based PBX program. No mouse == can't run Notepad (or whatever program they're using). So no mouse == can't do the job. Sad, but true. Mousification has screwed up several jobs that could be handled quite well without a mouse, except for the "OMG it's got Whinderz!! Drool'n'click!!!" so-called programmers. -ralphp1024 These could all be done with only the keyboard and no mouse, except for (1) lack of training, and (2) dipshit programmers* who leave buttons out of the tab order. You can play Solitaire without a mouse, so you shouldn't need one to answer the phone. (* I am entitled to say this because I have been one.) -concept14 VoiceofSanity: I feel your pain... We have M$ Lync as well. While we DO have a handset base, there is absolutely NO way to program any speed dials. I now have a Rolodex because most of the numbers I have to call are not in my "list" and I'll be damned if I start trying to put all the numbers I have into that shit. -unrenowned
Commentsswiping ones bus pass will not gain entry into work either. or vice versa.. ( okay who's got the caffine drips? looks like at least 2 of us need 'em around now) -Harm Mine does - but only if I use the edge of the smartcard on my keyboard to type my username and password in. ;-) -Gromit It's a misconception so... it does work? I want a smart card. -SpiderRider3
CommentsMaybe he's trying to convince Manglement to pay for a faster connection to view pr0n... er... do his work? -VoiceOfSanity @VOS doubtful since I work for $Gov't_Entity $Came_2_Retire more likely Manglement approved their Work From Home so that they could do the same -PhishPhucker My $gov't_entity has eliminated work from home...except in dire need, like mine or a certain co-worker...we're the only ones that can do what we do in the org. -ravensentinel
CommentsSo.... What IS your price? -Stryker One booze? -Harm
CommentsAnd the saga continues. I replied to his e-mail, saying the laptop has been ready, and his response was that he came up and someone told him the laptop wasn't ready when in fact, the only guy left who could give it to him was swamped with three people coming by at the same time for their laptops as well... Not exactly the same thing. -skippytpodar
CommentsI've had people request CDs where the files are placed on it in a specific order and then I tell them it doesn't work that way. They'll argue but in the end have to admit that I'm right. -Starfury Ditto that here. -redevil34 For smaller projects I force the disk copy order by first copying the files to an external drive and then copying file by file to a new folder on the hdd that I use to create the burn disc from. -PolarCoyote
Comments"This is the report you wanted. It says so right at the top, here. See? Report on Sales by Something. That's what you asked for. Not what you wanted? Fine, submit a change request." -chazz Heehee, cross-tabulate daily sales against office-wide consumption of cream buns. That fits the description "something". -MyCatVerbs
CommentsSure! Helps hold down the call times. -Voz If it doesn't work the first time, press harder, like with a shoe or a hammer. As a last resort, C4 or Thermite will suffice. -ecoli
CommentsI happen to like Mike Oldfield and some of his albums are noticably older than me. *cranks up Ommadawn* -TaliPhoenix Ahhh, Tubular Bells! -ecoli Mike Oldfield...yep, got a bit of his music. -Grue I remember when that came out... -Holdfast You have excellent taste, old fruit - my Mike Oldfield collection (mostly on vinyl) is pretty much complete. -Gromit Ommadawn, Hergest Ridge - 2 of my favorites. "I'd rather be here than flying through space!" -Captain Trips To complete your collection you'll need Tubular Cowbells by The Magnificent Seven. Travesty or comedy, your call -Bloke
CommentsDAMNN!! -redevil34 Just throw all that shit in the trash. When whoever left it there comes in and freaks out deny all knowledge of the mess. The desk was clean when you got there. -Bioguy Suggestion: distribute the screws evenly amongst the coffee cups of all co-workers while they're not looking - preferably whilst they still contain coffee. BTW, welcome to TSC from someone in the next county! -Gromit And the mystery is solved. Seems my boss (really nice guy but takes on too much IMHO) decided to have a bit of a clearout, all the old stuff at the back of the storeroom etc. Started ok but then got called to a more important job. Handed over to co-worker who also got called away. And so on and so forth. So this stuff works its way around the office from desk to desk, day by day, slowly losing whatever little order it started with. One hasty conversation later and the lot is in the recycling pile and I'm drinking my morning coffee out of a brand new mug. Result! -Erraticus Well hell, it resolved itself without a lart? Must be nice... -spectreoflife I posted a story last year about a guy in the office we subletted a room from taking this to the farthest extremes. He saved files on our computer and put stuff in our filing cabinet (all without permission, of course), then complained we didn't give him a chance to retrieve the files when we moved out. http://www.techcomedy.com/single/new_stories.php?content_number=85532 -SpiderRider3
CommentsOf course they have every right to ask, and you have every right to tell them hell no. -Calydor I say tell them NO about forty times a day with either a stun gun, or the T-ball version of the aluminium bat. (Like the one I keep under my desk!) -jerrybear But i neee-eed it for wo-orrk! And what software is that? Well, iTunes, bit torrent clients, three or four anti-virus packages and around twenty IE toolbars -PoglaTheGrate
Comments*snort* it'd be nice to find out who her boss is and cold transfer her to them. -spectreoflife "Well, I listened to all the options, then forgot which one I wanted so I just hit the '1'." True story, I was the tech she reached. (And she wanted a department that wasn't open that weekend.) -Captain Trips Oh gawd you just reminded me of an incident when I was working in Insurance. There was a rather technical question that needed answering, so I called head office. After being bounced around four or five times, they decided to connect me to someone that should be able to help. She was sitting two desks over from me. -PoglaTheGrate The only thing better, Pogla, would be if she then leaned over and called out, "Hey, Pogla, I've got a question for you..." -Voz I always just keep dialing 0 until I get a human. -SpiderRider3
Comments"The internet is broken." <browse to some websites> "only on my computer." -Olorin Nice and vague. REminds me of a cartoon--two cats sitting in a restaurant. Female is licking herself. Other cat says to the waiter, "I'll have what she's having...." -vacuumtubes
CommentsWe're getting delivery of reply-alls timestamped an hour ago. Mars is amaaaaazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyXJfUPSQhM (SYTL) -LDFeral
Comments Need a name for this personality type-the ones that feel their powers grow as they make everyone wait on their whim. The rule of inverses (Inversii?) applies too. The more important the response and the simpler it is, the longer they make you wait. -jerrybear Might be recognized by the Latin name- Perversus Responsus. -Voz Although it does bring a thought- "To: *corp_distribution_list_Everyone* Subject: Attempt to Locate" "All employees, please be on the lookout for *username*. After submitting a help desk ticket, they have not responded to return e-mails and calls. At present time, their location is unknown, and their welfare is in question. If found, please verify their safety and advise them to contact Extension XXXX as soon as possible. Thank you." Should get a response as everyone they see "reminds" them. -Voz
CommentsBut, you HAVE to hire them, don't you know that having an iPhone makes you an important person?!?! -linkv I think that if I ever interviewed someone for e tech position and they had an iPhone, I would mention it and see why. I do not like them or many of the people who have them because they think it looks cool/creative or something. It doesn't. -Holdfast iPhone? Not the droid I'm looking for... -Captain Trips The issue is that they're iPhone and possibly Mac users. They love to show off/talk about their equipment. PC/Droid users tend to be the opposite...they just use the equipment and don't have to brag about it. -Starfury @ Starfury, et al: Actually, I am both an iPhone and Mac user. My problem wasn't with her choice of gadgetry, but with her demonstrated total incompetence. It was as bad as the TSC poster who had someone list Farmville on their resume. -Trillian
CommentsThat should not be allowed by a proper software engineer............so it was Windows wasnt it. -burrkiss Actually, no, it wasn't Windows. Mac OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard -Grembo On one hand... that is a VERY dumb thing to do regardless of OS. On the other hand it is a VERY good thing that the system allows that behaviour. A computer should do as it's told even if that means leaving itself as a brick. -fearmyroot Oh man kind of reminds me of my aunt. she's real smart when it comes to many things but when it comes to computers she's well lets just say has a lot of learning to do. -lauren54
CommentsThey watched too much Star Trek: Voyager (without understanding it) "Compensate!" -Divinar
CommentsAs a software designer who writes fax software, I would suggest that for some issues, this is necessary. In particular, there are some specific pathological cases where the data compression technique used in CCITT group 3 and group 4 faxes actually causes the image to expand to over 1KB for a single 1728-bit image line. This makes a large number of GammaFax systems toss their cookies -- many GammaFax modems have only 1KB of line buffer. I'd need to see the image, specifically to look for that pathological case, before I could say definitively where the error actually lies. -chazz Since I am allowed to view the faxes I can honestly say that the issue occurred on some faxes that did not have any graphics/images and it also occurred on some that had simple images. No photographs are being sent via fax either. -unrenowned I will add that "pathological" can be an artifact of the compression library as well, and not necessarily caused by the "worst case" alternating-pixels graphics. Our libraries don't have any problems that I'm aware of, but they did at one time... and at that time, having an image that would consistently crash the libraries proved invaluable in fixing the blasted things. However: Not knowing anything about your specific case, not even whether your fax vendor uses our toolkit, I cannot really judge the validity of this request. -chazz From a tech support viewpoint, it sounds reasonable to determine if there is something specific to the faxes received when the system crashes. Or compare to a fax that doesn't crash the system and then play "which of these things is not like the other." -Captain Trips
CommentsUnless she/he "forgot" to put paper in it too. -ravensentinel document, document, document. -HappyCrappy
CommentsRails? Are the making some Facebook games? -PoglaTheGrate Drill a couple of holes in some plastic knives. -AmazingKreskin home depot ( or lowes) and a few peices of metal... mcguovered topgtether on ones lunch hour at $200/h 3 h minimum.. plus incidental expenses... like lunch.. and strippers. -Harm I want to work for Harm's company! -Divinar RAILS we don't need no RAILS!!! -deedadee I'm guessing HDD rails for a chassis. As no two seem to be alike or compatible with each other rather than rack mounting rails? -fearmyroot
CommentsWe get the ones that email in for an issue, never pick up phone when we call so we close the ticket for no response. THEN they give a negative ticket response because the issue isn't fixed. I've got one of those now and I'm expecting this to happen. -Starfury lol ticketing systems, about 5 years ago when I worked for an ISP we had a ticketing system, course the lusers didn't have access to the system so we didn't have to worry about them being dicks with it. -drachen
CommentsOf course not. The problem exists solely in the vacuum chamber between the user's ears... -RDMcMains
Comments1. Why?, 2. No you didn't!, 3. You make me want to stab pencils in my ears. -ravensentinel The problem here is that we are looking at the wrong person. Sure we can be angry at the 'fish, but that the same as being angry at the sea or sun. The better quest is to track down the fool who gave the ability/opportunity to mess with the servers/backup. -DarkRookie Seconded, DR. My bet is that they're a 'manager,' who also has admin access on their own system. -LDFeral Blinky lights yay *flips switches* new colours yay... no work why? Leave. The. SAN. Alone. -fearmyroot This is common on some forums. Repeat after me, RAID is not backup, RAID is not backup, RAID is not backup. Although using a can of RAID on some users might be a good idea. -Wraith556
CommentsJust make changes in PROD, that's what it's for isn't it? -PoglaTheGrate you must work where i work. "we'll do it live" </anchorman> -boxcar "I didn't have a live file to test with. Just run it the first time we get one. If it fails, the on-call programmer can handle it." actual quote from one of my developers -thx1138 to add: we don't need to see if the changes will work on real equipment if it looks like it works with a made up mac address or serial number in the testing environment. -frprinterwiz
CommentsAlso, the repair was the tensioner pully (for the serpentine belt) and the coolant reservoir. -Spacegoat A one hour fix took that long? You need a new mechanic shop. -srteach Oh, I've got one, now that I'm back in the states. My own two hands. -Spacegoat You dropped your car off for repair, and then promptly left the country? -Stryker One You dropped your car off for repair, and then promptly left the country? -Stryker One It took 3 months for them to even look at it, since you told them you were going to leave the country right? They instantly didnt give a shit. -burrkiss
CommentsAdd all the menus! -ravensentinel Is this the same nurse who needed a printer added? -thx1138
CommentsThis seems to have something to do with the 'mile high club' but I'm not sure. -ravensentinel "That I'll provide an airborne copulation targeting a ventrally mobile toroid..." Excellent. Along these lines I saw a man in his fifties absolutely lose his shit with my pharmacist a few weeks back when something did not go his way. I did not hear what it was about, but I did hear (as did half the store) him scream "I don't care what the law says, I am the customer, and the customer is always right. This is terrible customer service, and I WILL have your job over this!" Yeah, somehow I think that the big grocery store chain that the pharmacist works for is going to value legal compliance over giving an entitled asshat customer whatever he demands. It was an epic rant, the only thing missing was a declaration that he'd never shop there again. -SalParadise ...airborne copulation targeting a ventrally mobile toroid...? -DarkRookie I'm with Darkrookie. Can we get a lawyer to decipher this? I apparenrly do not have your public key to decrypt it. -ravensentinel Translation: a flying f**k at a rolling doughnut. And an excellent choice of obfuscation in my books... -chazz Thank you. My brain is already fried from the buckets of stupid spilled today. -ravensentinel Holy, I TOTALLY forgot this! When I was first in the Navy, I'd signed up under what was called the SWSE program (Strategic Weapons System Electronics), ie one of three ratings for sub-launched nukes, which were ET (Electronics Tech), FT (Fire Control Tech) & MT (Missile Tech). Before I washed out of sub school, I'd thought I'd go the MT direction, b/c so many of those in the program went with either ET or FT. The insignia for the MT rating was often described as a missile fucking a doughnut. http://i.ebayimg.com/t/OBSOLETE-1980S-STYLE-USN-1ST-CL-MISSILE-TECH-WHITE-/14/!B9LmhI!B2k~$(KGrHqZ,!lkEy+jCzOeHBM5C3q479!~~_3.JPG http://www.navycs.com/navy-jobs/missile-technician.html (Remember that one, Bill?) -MadJack
Comments"Need a new computer built for your special needs?" Obviously, the website's creator knows ALL about those special needs. ¬_¬ -Omega Judy Patch, web developer. -AmazingKreskin It lacks a flashing yellow and brown background. THEN it would be the worst site I've ever seen. -Calydor I presume that was created for a bet... -Holdfast Needs more blink tags and Real Media files. -Vie My eyes, my eyes! -ProfessorFrink They make more money on the ads than on repairs or memberships. -srteach @srteach- That's what I was thinking. With that many ads, every one of us clicking to see what's on the page probably earns the guy another 31 dollars or so. -Voz Set your resolution to 640 x 480 to get the true 1995 experience. -concept14 Opened up View Source, and saw exactly what I expected to see under the HEAD tag: <meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage Express 2.0"> Ah, FrontPage: the web design software for people who think PowerPoint is a graphic design tool. -MeanDean @ Kreskin: Oh wow man, I'd completely forgotten about Judy Patch! What's really frightening is her Angelfire page is still up: http://www.angelfire.com/rings/judy_patch/ ... But now ALL the graphics links are broken. -MeanDean @ Kreskin: Oh wow man, I'd completely forgotten about Judy Patch! What's really frightening is her Angelfire page is still up: http://www.angelfire.com/rings/judy_patch/ ... But now ALL the graphics links are broken. -MeanDean oh GODDESS, Judy Patch... for me, it's the design is bad enough, but the BASIC KNOWLEDGE ERRORS!!! are the worst part. >_< -Omega the source is worse -DarkRookie This carbon unit sucks at life, period. -PTSTech That was painful to look at... -Phylok I designed a website for a charity in the early 00's. Full of factual content about the charity, easy to use bread crumb navigation. Junked because the girlfriend thought it was "Too Buddhist" and replaced with... well I think the same people designed it as that one. -fearmyroot
CommentsObviously you haven't tried suicide! -ecoli <In my best Miss Cleo Voice>Sorry Dearie but dis here ain't no Crystal Ball, It's me Clue-Bat! Would ya like a Demonstration? -ChildofCthulhu Obviously, you haven't tried everything yet..... It isn't fixed. -McSmiley
CommentsIt's OK to ask. After all, there may be times when someone inadvertently says something that people might think is stupid- it's important for us to have a fool-proof mechanism to know for sure. "Asking" is that mechanism! -Voz You have to remember that a read receipt only tells you they opened it, not that they read it. -Captain Trips Two words: "Reading Pane" -redevil34 Don't forget, Trips; even if they read it, doesn't mean they comprehend it! -Voz
When I ask you "Is it just your computer having a problem with an internal application or is it everyone in the department's computer having the issue you will say "just me." This will turn out to be a LIE when I call back after the issue is fixed and you have to check because everybody was having the problem when you called in.
CommentsTwo competing forces at work: 1. The user's inclination to inflate the severity of the issue, which will cause them to claim that others are having the same problem as they are, born of the misconception of the fact that the more people that are experiencing the problem == higher priority; and 2. The natural self-centeredness of the average user, which causes them to assume that every single problem with the network/PC/application/dildo/etc is a personal attack against them specifically. -AmazingKreskin
CommentsThis one is my personal favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UtRsGU6pVs -unrenowned My sister is a college professor and we've talked about the actions taken in the class. I have an old sprint phone that we'll be doing this with if her class ever ignores her warning about texting. So far, they all listen to her. -unrenowned Of course don't forget this classic: http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/06/booted-texters-angry-voicemail-message-becomes-dont-text-during-movies-psa -MisterCommon
When the signature block on my e-mail lists my hours (7am-4pm Mon-Fri) I will respond to any e-mail that is sent outside of that time frame. I will make an extra effort to reply to e-mails sent to me late in the evening and especially ones sent on the weekend. Getting upset when I don't respond to that Friday message you sent at 4:15pm will not change the fact that it's outside of my working hours.
We do have a 24/7 helpdesk and someone is there to work on issues.
CommentsWhy would you expect your (L)users to READ?? You are being very unsupportive! <runs to the LART shelter> -ecoli Try the ones sent at 2 a.m on a friday night when you're either sleeping or drunk, stoned, etc as you see fit. Then they get hacked off because you're not their personal tech b!tch. -AdmiralLaurie I have had this problem once, mine was a few hours before I had clocked in for the day. -JackMackle
CommentsAmen brother! Also, which building are you in, since we have 3. -Gunpe
CommentsI've had my share of calls like this. A few have gotten really mad when you tell them that they screwed up and lost their data. -Starfury "I really hate this computer/ I wish that they would sell it/ It never does just what I want/ But only what I tell it!" <saw posted in a campus computer lab> -ecoli
Commentscorellary: it's ok to insist that you want linux, when you have no clue what the hell it is, what it does, or why exactly you need it now now now! -AdmiralLaurie For the people that want some form of Linux and insist on remaining clueless- the live CD's-Dvd's are a lifesaver. If you can't do it from the booted disc, you can't do it. Don't call me anymore! -jerrybear when they demand linux tell them to get dsl (damn small linux). it fits on a floppy. -gashach "What's a floppy?" is the next question you get. -srteach and if they figure out how to trash the system by wiping the drive(s), there's no way in hell I'm bailing them out. You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out, is my standard response for family members. -AdmiralLaurie "I'll give you the family rate: $65/hr + use of my tools + anything new I have to buy to fix it." -ravensentinel
CommentsExtra points if the exhaust vent for the PC is on one of the sides where it's wedged in tighly....and for each "while you're here, I have a question" -ChildofCthulhu don't forget about all the post it notes or cheat sheets taped to the monitors' entire perimeter, and all the geegaws and knick-knacks on the monitors and surrounding them. Oh, and the 12 pack of soda cans sitting on top of the CPU. -figglywig Toss that crap out into the hallway. Their loss. I would. -srteach and magnetic calendars and such. -ecoli We still haven't done our OWN office yet, where the people can't remember their passwords from day to day but can tell you the exact position to the millimeter where each little statue and picture is and Gods help you if you move one even a little bit. Then we get angry emails about IT messing up their desk because one angel statue is a small bit out of place. -TechieSidhe When they complain about "moving their stuff" just reply that you "fixed" the placement, so that their Feng Shui would be more balanced. -docbrown01 I'm probably actually going to use that one. -TechieSidhe At the hospital I work at, any sticker MUST be removed. Bar code, inventory sticker, serial number, anything. Also, computers may be swapped out with any other computer, for any reason. Too loud? swap it. Like the blue power button better than the green one? Swap it! -goqqqqself
CommentsWow.... just wow -DarkRookie SFW??? -PhishPhucker
CommentsProblem fixed. Ticket Closed. -Stryker One oh, i don't know about that, whne they bring it back in pieces, or it says that every executeable is indected with a virus, and every user file is "missing" I think we can figure out what happened. -McSmiley We know what happened- the "user"! -Voz There is this ticket in our system. Problem: Called for a ticket number. Resolution: Gave her this ticket's number. -Captain Trips Your ticket number is 99^99. We are currently working on ticket number 12. Thank you for waiting. -ecoli You ticket is 3.6972963764972677265718790562881e+197 in queue. We are current working on ticket number 14. Please hold. Your patience is appreciated. -DarkRookie
Commentsthat's dumb on both ends -Icelator The stupidity... The mind is boggled -DarkRookie Ohhhh, gawwd, that is so great! -Voz You may not but there are plenty of EUs who will. We then pick up the pieces. -Holdfast There's a REASON physhing works... -Stryker One
When you buy a vehicle from a used car dealership with several locations in nine states, with the specific intention to drive it halfway across the country and back, that you won't get a deathtrap that could have caught fire or blown any of the 5! (including the spare) tires along the way.
My Dad and stepmother have been planning a trip to Utah for Christmas for about six months now. During the pre-trip inspection of her '95 Ford Explorer, the mechanic discovered issues with the transfer case that could leave them stranded. So she decided to trade it in for a '99 Dodge Durango at the Car-Mart in Decatur, AL, which had a better selection than the closer one in Cullman, AL. When she got to Utah, her son Tony took a look at it and, when he saw the condition of the vehicle, he was fighting mad. In my stepmother's words, here is what he found:
"Burnt plugs, wires so brittle they came off in pieces not bigger than 3", arcing in the #1 wire, corroded and burnt cap and rotor, bald and separating spare, all tires below wear bars, bad idler pully, bad ball joints with nearly 2" of play."
She went on to add: "All fixed now. $800 out of pocket for tune up and tires. All else paid under service contract but 2 1/2 days of dealing with these people and their 'I don't give a hoot' attitude toward their customers was appalling. They wanted us to allow them to tow the vehicle 1120 miles at (at the cheapest) $1 a mile, then have things fixed for $600-800, and leave us stranded in Utah, and our responsibility to get to the car. Refused to pay the shop of our choosing, etc. Several calls to the CEO's office is what it took to resolve. [The] dealer assured the safety of the vehicle when I specifically asked and said we were leaving on a long trip the next day. The way the man talked to me was unacceptable. Apparently all women are stupid and know NOTHING about cars or business or customer service, because the technician at the shop (my son Tony) was trying to scare me into paying money for unneeded repairs and there is NO WAY the vehicle was in that bad a shape."
As a side note, my stepmother grew up around cars, her Dad taught her a lot and made sure she knew a certain amount about fixing cars before he'd let her get a license. So for them to talk down to her is akin to a computer tech talking down to a power user as if they were a 12:00 flasher.
CommentsException to Rule 1... On rare occasion, the user is literate, versed, and will call bullshit as appropriate. Now, as techs that sometimes have to call tech support, be polite. Stabbing someone in the neck with a flash drive is only a temporary pleasure. /apol. to Heinlein. -AngrySup Why not just rent a car? -Stryker One I hate to be a dickish, but if your mother is carwise, why did she not notice 4 bald tires/massive play in the steering wheel? Plus ALWAYS get a car checked at a shop. Cant tell how much pad/rotor there is with the wheel on, cannot pry at the suspension components to check play,cannot see seepage/leakage from oil/tranny/coolant. It can save from buying a clunker..............I love you. -burrkiss What's the betting that the '95 Ford would have been a *better* choice for the trip? -Chromatix For that matter, in a simple inspection what would the technician have found wrong with the Tcase to leave them stranded? If the vehicle was driving fine, tcases don't have very many outward signs of failure. -LazyLemming Here's what I got: Burkiss's tranny is leaking. He'd better get her looked at.... -FuzzyElf The mechanic sensed something funny in the car and suspected the transfer case, so he did some more in-depth checking wherein he found the problem. With the cost of the repair plus the fact that the car was 89k miles past the average failure mileage of the transmission of a '95 Explorer, it was a wiser decision to replace it. And as far as the bald tires, they looked at one tire and that one was good. Don't ask me why they didn't look at 'em all. -DukeOfURL
CommentsI somehow doubt the validity of that. -ravensentinel ...and Google makes Sirius' website load slowly how? F*cking interwebs, how do they work? -SalParadise Magnets, of course! -docbrown01 So, I just type www.sirius.com into this bar marked google right? -LazyLemming Raven: he was trying to navigate to Sirius' website by typing "sirius satellite radio" into Google and pressing I'm Feeling Lucky, then said this when the page loaded slowly. -SpiderRider3
CommentsI believe this is usually referred to as, comic relief. -Stryker One I used to get calls about cable modems purchased on ebay, or the backs of trucks somewhere. Trying to explain to people that while, yes, we could activate the modem, it would require adding a separate instance of the online service on the bill (and thus, another $50/month) was like trying to drill a hole in your head. -AmazingKreskin
CommentsSo, are you against bribery, or are you just not that cheap? -Stryker One Best part, coworker who got this call said the customer was totally serious, offered multiple times, and had a very thick Asian accent. -linuxmatt 100000 Credits. Or no dice. -TaliPhoenix Maybe he was asian and was offering to "tea bag" you. You just heard "tea and rice". Your loss. -burrkiss TaliPhoenix: +100 Darkside Points. -30 Corso affection. -LazyLemming Now, were it chocolate and caffeine, well... -Captain Trips hookers and blow... then least its a start.. -Harm
CommentsReminds me of the time I was doing phone support for the Philip Morris sales force and had to ask the person on the other end of the phone why I was hearing water noises. He replied "Oh, I'm in the tub with the computer on my knees". I immediately requested that he move the laptop away from the tub lest something drastic happen, and to call back later. Shoulda told him to drop it... -Grayhawk Ren: Stimpy, sometimes your wealth of ignorance astounds me. Stimpy: Yeah, they don't call me stupid for nothing! -Biosynthetic
Comments1) My usual answer to such is that I don't have a latex glove that long with me. 2) I suggest GPS on ear tags like they use for cattle. 3) A punch in the gob might be the correct response for that one. -ChildofCthulhu Nah - for "gob" read "nuts". -Gromit So... he'd essentially sell their own product back to them? What a moran. -TaliPhoenix I cut a top-hat in half and glued it to the front of my office door with a sign "IT has granted global access to our magic hat. If you need something, please reach in and pull it out." Sadly HR got pissed and made me take it down. -LazyLemming LL: HR have no sense of humour, so they? (Unlss it happens to be at review time, then the joke is most definitely on us...) -lineswine
CommentsSet the luser on fire and have them trampled in the resulting evacuation. Sometimes, you just have to be cruel to be kind^Wamusing. -aeddan If they have a flat screen, put the computer behind their monitor. -Wraith556 Cable-tie their computer to the grid of the suspended ceiling. It's up out of the exit path, and all is right with the world. The sane part of the world, anyway... -Voz To Voz I add: right over her chair. (Think of it as evolution in action.) -Captain Trips
CommentsI get those alot too... -ravensentinel Or different ones... without pizza/beer. -LDFeral I used to have this problem until I made a comment to my wife that I should start charging for my time...the calls stopped then they got Macs which I don't support. -Starfury I better be smelling dinner -DarkRookie Easy solution - make 'em pay. I made it clear to all my family that I'd charge them a VERY favourable rate, but I WOULD charge them. S'funny how much more reliable their PCs have been since then... -Gromit my relatives are nice and polite when they ask at least. -Icelator Family are ten times harder to please than users. Family expect miracles from you and are not willing so spend any money to purchase software or upgrade anything, or except the fact that there are some things that you just can't resolve. I avoid fixing problems for family like the plaque. I get enough stress at work I don't need it multiplied with family. Don't get me wrong I love my family but they expect freebies from you in the form off whatever profession you follow. -jp jp - freebies are rare - I ALWAYS get paid, one way or the other. -lineswine
CommentsManga - Japanese word for comics. Filipino word for mango (no we don't have gender words in Filipino ) :D -Angelace
CommentsBut it still works! -Starfury FUnny, that's exactly what they said! -ThinkGuy When we recently did a monitor and then PC upgrade people wanted to buy/be given the old equipment. Told them 'no' and recycled the monitors and donated the desktops. If we did give them to the users we'd end up being their support. -Starfury But... But... You could, like, wire two of them together and have a Pentium SIX!! -MeanDean But think of all the games of Doom and Quake you could play on it. -Biosynthetic After request #7: "What do you mean it's outdated? You replaced it with something that looks exactly the same. They're both those Power-things from Dell. I'm not stupid you know! You just replaced it with the same thing to pocket the money!" I think he had an extra helping of crazy this morning. -ThinkGuy
CommentsNext time roomy threatens to move out, tell them "not a problem". -unrenowned Screw that. Kick 'em out now. -charred
CommentsSeriously not an ad, I'm just continually stoked to find this stuff after searching fruitlessly around the City for years. -LDFeral Speaking just for myself, coffee is a beverage that I cannot stand drinking. I never acquired a taste for coffee, or anything coffee related (java ice cream, for example.) My caffeine has to be provided with carbonation, like Dr. Pepper. -VoiceOfSanity I'm with VoS. I can't stand the smell of coffee, let alone the taste. Makes me nauseous. -Divinar Ah, Jamaican Blue Mountain. The coffee of Presidents. ;) -MadJack I am also w/VoS. I love the scent of coffee, I cannot stand the flavor, not even as an additive. :( Mt Dew is my caffeine of choice, but I am not real picky when it comes to cold carbonated caffeine...hell it doesn't even have to be cold -Madrigorne One day, you may just discover why CommanderData loves tea so much. (So do I, for that matter.) -lineswine
CommentsPAC...PAC...Plundering All Colleagues? Pulling A Con? -Gromit Political Action Committee, Gromit. A rather American form of extortion and corruption. -ralphp1024 The PA parts seems oxymoronic to me. -DarkRookie Stephen Colbert can has SuperPAC? -AmazingKreskin <-- Puts on "Pac Man Fever" and runs giggling ... -Necros
CommentsComplain about being promo/cold called; either they have it on file, in which case they should give you something for not going away/breaking agreement, or they don't, and they should give you something because they haven't documented it, and kept bothering you. That's how I rolled. <suggestive eyebrow waggling> -LDFeral I would suggest handling the bad speeds/ dropouts problem like this: Do a tech call, explain that you have an on-going issue that other techs have not been able to fix, and that you want an actual RR tech to work on it, not a contractor. Most companies providing this service use contractor techs who are not paid the same way as the company techs and therefore do not have the same work ethic. Personally, I'm wondering if you have the older, relatively thin RG-59 cable somewhere in your setup. Modern installations (and this includes U*Verse and satellite dishes) use RG-6Q (thicker, quad shield) cable at every point because it is strong enough to carry the larger, two way communication signals that modems and better set-top boxes require. -BayouTech I work for them and there is a little box called Privacy in the profile tab on CSG. Just let the rep know that you want that box ticked so you will not get any more marketing calls. If you live in Texas I could do it for you. Otherwise, any rep should be able to help. Regarding the tech problem, BayouTech is right. -buitre It is also highly recommended that the wiring be a two way splitter with 1 leg to your modem, the other is to your tv's so a threeway, fourway, eightway with/without a amp whatever is needed. (10 years fixing peoples cable shit) -burrkiss
CommentsKeep a latex glove handy when you go. When they start in, hand them the glove and inform them that there's something that you want them to look at and let you know if it's a funny color or inflamed or whatnot...If warranted, continue to drop trou and bend over. Either they leave or you have found a new friend. Win-Win! -ChildofCthulhu I've already run through six nsfw scenarios that I just couldn't find the heart to post. <note to self - stop surfing so much pron.> -AngrySup The heart is typically in the upper-left portion of the ribcage; I've found the best path to get there is an upward motion starting from the navel. :) -TheCyberwolfe the Trouble with Tribbles -Harm "Those pop-ups only come from hardcore gay websites. You should talk to your kid." -VIPERsssss <appears over the top of the stall wall with suggestive music playing in the background>Did someone say....'Pop-ups'? Cause I can help you with that...<flashes out a poster of Kathy Bates from 'About Schmidt' in eth hottub scene.> -ChildofCthulhu
CommentsNow that takes balls. -Stryker One "I'm fixing things... With my miiiinnndd!!" -MeanDean I do believe that the O in LOIC is for orbit. Might take awhile, but I will get the shot lined up again. -DarkRookie Update the ticket and say that you're express couriering the repair to him and expect it fixed and returned in under 48 hours :) -spectreoflife
CommentsI used to hate people who used anything below native resolution. Just as I was getting to accept that, widescreen monitors started being deployed, so now I get annoyed at people who choose any resolution that makes things 'squished' vertically.. how can anybody stand that?? -NightSteel On a side note, once you've used 2560x1440, it's really hard to go back to 1280x1024. -Stryker One I think you will hate me. Being visually impaired, there is quite an amount of screens I used at completely unsuitable resolutions for anyone but me (stupid windows no longer allows me to use 640x480 as resolution). -Fortytwo Ditto. In a lot of cases the native resolution is so high that unless the user has absolute 20/20 vision they have to reduce it. Anyone above the age of 40 is likely to be in that category. -Gromit Not me Gromit. I am 51 and use glasses to read. Sub-optimal resolution gives me a headache. I would like to set the only allowed resolutions to be "native" and 640*480. If they want blurred and out of focus, they can have it done properly! -Holdfast See, that is the reason why I think that flatscreens were a big mistake. They dosplay low resolutions very awkwardly. No CRT I had did. -Fortytwo This is one of my pet peeves. I give a user a brand new 22" widescreen LCD with a 1680x1050 res and they immediately ask me "Why are the words so small? I can't see them! Waahhh!" And I have to take this beautiful screen and make it display 1024x768 because that is what their last 17" LCD was set to.. I hate people... -JoeLugian If i watch movies on my laptop I have to drop the resolution as otherwise it causes bluescreens. -Olorin Win7 has taken a step in the right direction as far as divorcing the size of UI elements from the screen resolution, but it's still not perfect. On my living room TV, native res is 1920x1080, which is just enough to make text in browser & Explorer windows unreadable when I'm sitting back on my couch. I tried changing the text size in Display options, and that worked; the only problem with that is that it seriously interferes with ObjectDock's "Reserve top of Screen" option, which prevents windows from being maximized over (or behind) the dock. In the end I switched it all back and set the browser zoom up a few ticks. -AmazingKreskin I don't have any problem with people who genuinely need to reduce the resolution to see. (That'd be silly) But one tick down, from 1920x1200 to 1680x1050? That only makes it harder to read!! -Mer A few years ago, I remember rolling out new systems with bigger screens. Someone complained that stuff was too small. I got a ruler and measured the size of an object on her old PC and the new one. They were identical! It was just the additional space round making things seem smaller to some people. I was informed that my ruler was faulty! I left her with 800*600. -Holdfast On Windows7 systems, CTRL + (plus) will make your intarwebz larger. Just a thought. -lineswine The Control + cheat already worked in Netscape 3.x but still it is not really a solution since the rest is not made bigger via that (like the interface). Also, even the native resolution makes things unreadable with most OSes insistance on anti-aliasing often even including the subpixel 'optimisation' which causes colored seams around each word. -Fortytwo
CommentsCredit to our intern for this one. -redevil34 I don't always destroy hardware, but when I do, I do it with Otis. -Stryker One I don't turn my computer on, it turns me on.... oh, that's not from "The Most Interesting Man in the World?" -CyBear I don't always send email, but when I do , spam filteters cower in fear of my magnificense. -Harm I don't always send email, but when I do , spam filteters cower in fear of my magnificense. -Harm Might be even more fun to come up with lines the narrator would say: "He returns spam - - postage due." -Captain Trips I don't always interact with users - but when I do I crush them. -ecoli
Boss Misconception
When I am on Vacation I will respond to e-mails asking me to do things at work. Just because you gave me an iPhone to carry around doesn't mean that I'm going to respond to any messages you send. It's one of the reasons I'm an hourly employee and don't work when I'm not there.
CommentsYou actually took it WITH you on vacation? -Stryker One I'm at home on vacation...wife is in Mexico and I'm here with the kids. And since all I have is a flip phone, I use the work iPhone for personal use...and just happened to look at the pile of mail in my inbox. Now the phone is off and tossed in my work laptop bag. -Starfury Staycation! -AmazingKreskin nothing wrong with stay cations.. best relaxing times i've had have been by my onse in my own house. and a week to catch up on gamies/tv shows and pretty much all tat stuff 've been meaning to get done / finish for the last few years. -Harm
Comments"When the proper procedures are followed for requesting it, including filling out all the required forms." -AmazingKreskin "And not a second sooner." -AmazingKreskin "but maybe a few days later!" -ecoli
CommentsWYLFWT? -lineswine
CommentsJust like we are supposed to know "my computer is broken" means "I can't launch Solitaire." -Captain Trips
CommentsWe have a lady at work that is supposedly a professional singer. She wears earphones all day and sings to the music. She can be heard three rows away, and we can't figure out who would buy her albums. It's horrid. -TechieSidhe In defence of the off-key woman with the headphones, some people need the feedback of hearing their own voice. On the other hand there are those like me who couldn't carry a tune in a hermetically sealed bucket. -AussieFoot I can carry a tune, but only in conjunction with someone else - I'm a harmonizer. My strength is in timing. <_< -Omega I can carry a tune, but people usually just tell me to carry it away. Far, far, away. Quickly! -Voz I can carry a tune but it refuses to be carried by me T_T -Angelace
CommentsAnd I'm being generous with that comma... -Mer Thanks for your comma-nificence. We all know you're usually the Ebenezer Scrooge of commas, and we know with the holidays approaching, it must be particularly galling to give them out. Your generosity is an example to all of us. ;) (Sorry, I saw 'generous with that comma' and just laughed..) -NightSteel sounds like someone else was generous with comas -stiffarm four thousand five -DarkRookie
CommentsEspecially when you just described it as four numbers separated by dots in order to help the user find it. -NightSteel DA: If you're familiar with your site's network architecture, you can kinda get away with that. For us, all our sites start with the same two octets, and then a two digit octet, so we do tend to speed through them over the phone. -TechieSidhe Our last two octets can be either one or two numbers long. -Mer Our first two octets are standard. But when they tell me 1723549 I have no idea whether it's 188.8.131.52, 172.17.235.49, 172.17.23.549, etc. (Yes, some of our people think octets can be greater than 255. Or are surprised when I ask where the dots are.) (On that subject, has anyone noticed how many CSI type shows use IP addresses of 10.10.10.362?) -Captain Trips To quote the prophet Jerematic, one-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one... [later] ... zero-one-zero-one-one-zero-zero-one... two. Amen. -VIPERsssss Amen. -AmazingKreskin Trips- it may be the modern equivalent of how Hollywood has made every phone number in TV and movies start out from the "555" exchange, (or for those who are even more ancient, "KLondike-5"), so that the phone company would be happy that no one would be getting harassing phone calls just because the star of the show was getting a phone call. Make a network address internal, and they can't reach it from the Internetz, ya know... -Voz
It's perfectly OK to schedule training on a day we've got 1 person out sick and the call volume has been 2x normal. This leaves 3 people to handle calls.
Guess the callers will just have to wait.
CommentsThe calls will be there when you are out of training. They can wait. -DarkRookie Ugh our HR manager likes to do this. Shoot us an email Friday afternoon to go train some new employee Monday morning. And you damn well better be there, who cares about massive update projects, go lives, clinic starts or major outages! -LazyLemming I like the ones who have all the time in the world to chase their pet rabbits around, talk about them for hours at a time, until ten minutes before shutdown Friday then toss out an outline that needs to 'Hop on the Bullet Train' first thing Monday morning. And he has loaned out 90% of the assets you need to perform the op- -jerrybear "pet rabbits?" -Captain Trips we had a case like this. the ticket was close with notes "coached $manager on how to strategically staff meetings" -boxcar
CommentsOooo, the "You done ree-moated into mah mahceen" tinfoil hatters - I LURRVE them. When possible, I always set the connection to disable their kb/mouse for that extra special touch for the extra specially touched... -PTSTech This is the same person that "never has time" for you to troubleshoot. The more complex the issue, the less time they have. -TechieSidhe Even better, your help desk is outsourced to India. Lovely kids, barely speak english, but whatever, they're cheaper than the local talent. -AngrySup
CommentsAnd is that really so wrong? -Stryker One I don't see an issue. -ecoli And they get professional courtesy from sharks. Loan and otherwise. -TechnoVampire well - its A definition.. and probably the most correct one. -Harm They don't just live in swamps. -Starfury Obligatory: http://ovalkwiki.com/Partnership+Collective+Attorneys -Chromatix
Old Software
Today one of our users sent us some files to open. They're .ovd files. From what I can gather from my brief research the software was published in 1992 and isn't made any longer. Time to ask the client to convert to a current format and resend.
CommentsIt could be an ObjectiveVision file, or maybe an OverDisk file. But wait! Could it be an Outlook View Definition? I am continually amazed by how much there is to know. http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ee819848.aspx -nickdixon We have a client that is known for sending Windows Media Player skin files...we have yet to figure out why or what they want us to do with them. -redevil34
CommentsHi, everyone! Long time reader, first time poster. Heard this one from a co-worker and had to share it. -scripttracer Stupid Lusers..... It really makes me wonder how people wipe their own butts... -beatmewithstick Welcome to TSC! You already know not to turn your back on the Burrkiss... -chazz Hi. Don't mind me, I come in once a week to service the water coolers. -MeanDean
CommentsWell, of course not! An anti-virus program makes your computer 20% faster (because it's not running viruses), so with five of them, it's like a computer upgrade! Download RAM for everyone! -LDFeral LDFeral: here you are: http://downloadmoreram.com/ -DarkRookie
CommentsOh, and I did win that case. And I just emailed the judge a copy of the commercial. In 1080p. -metaice Doesn't have time to go to the bank, but does have time to film a commercial? I hope he has time to go to court - or he'll find himself DOING time. -Captain Trips
CommentsI had that happen to me at my previous work location. Mangler called, wanting computers placed into a new room that had no outlets, no phone jacks and no network jacks. Oh yeah, he was moving people that afternoon to start working in there. *SNERK* It was a week before the electrical contractor could show up just for the wall plugs. "But can't you sprinkle your magic IT pixie dust and make it happen?" -VoiceOfSanity How does the lack of facilities affect your job of putting the computers in the room? They didn't explicitly say they had to function, did they? -Jeckler Yeah, I think putting four computers on the floor, not plugged into anything, then closing the ticket is the way to go. -thx1138 We started getting work orders for PCs a few months ago for a project that IS did not even know was starting. Turns out our parent company is providing them for this project and the managers found out in a meeting three months ago. We just found out today. -TechieSidhe That's entirely typical here too, TS. Manglement will decide months in advance to move on something, and then only tell us two days before it's supposed to be completed, and the prep work alone for it takes at least a week. -skippytpodar Even better, the PCs were delivered to the parent company IT people that were supposed to prep them, and they didn't know either. -TechieSidhe I went round and round with a manager here that wanted me to install a computer in an office with no desk. Kept asking me every day if I installed it yet, and every day I'd check and there was still no desk. Finally he screamed at me that there was a desk and I needed to install in NOW! So I set it up on the floor and told him it was done. He came to my office later that afternoon and apologized, his people told him that they installed the desk when they didn't. He never checked for himself. -Gunpe Heh i can top that. I get a call to go on site and install a pc. electrician has not been there yet. So no outlets or jacks. Mangler asks so can't you just turn on the wi-fi doesn't it support POE. Apparently the techs had to explain how the cameras worked at one time or another, and he just thought the computer cords were just for show. -deedadee I got a request once for three workstations to be installed in a room with no power or network. Not a new room without them installed yet. One that has never had nor ever will have power or network drops. It was a storage room. -ThinkGuy
CommentsIf Microcrap can't make good working, infalliable software for Windows, they certainly aren't going to do well in any other OS environment. -ravensentinel good, working, infallible. Pick two. (In M$ case it is just one most times.) Hell I have troubles with getting one myself sometimes. -DarkRookie they should have called a day after gif animator. -stiffarm ...or, they should have called it a day after gif animator. -stiffarm
CommentsI have been yelled at by two managers because they don't want to wait for the report. One harangued me for 10 minutes asking for a "solution" over and over again, not letting me talk. The solution? Don't run the thing when everyone else is trying to do it. -TechieSidhe
Commentsif that laptop had any patient data, he should consider himself lucky that he didn't get himself canned for exposing the hospital to possible hipaa violations. -McSmiley Skippy, don't you guys have a firewall with an allowed sites list? Or at least a forbidden sites list? (We do, but we've found if people type in "https://" then the access list is ignored. But we have cheap firewalls. Fortunately, most of our people are afraid to even plug a monitor in to the power outlet!) -Captain Trips Trips, you have appearantly never seen a management held hostage by a doctor before. It is that way here, the only doctor I have seen fired killed one underage drunk girl and crippled another then ran from police before he was fired. -OldScratch
Work e-mail account
It's a good idea to use your work e-mail account for all of your online shopping. All the junk you've signed up for won't flood your inbox daily with non-work related mail and when you leave the company updating all those sites will automatically happen.
CommentsAs much as my place of work constantly reminds people that your work address is meant for work-related correspondences, people use it as a dump for daily news sites, catalog sales, even personal email with the family. Not much you can do about it, other than discreetly clicking "unsubscribe" while the starfish are amused by something shiny outside... -VoiceOfSanity take a suggestion form bill gates, deduct one penny for every none work related email they send/receive -Icelator I blocked yahoo mail hotmail and gmail. I figured that would put the kibosh on most personal email use. -virusjtg These are my users. Their email is 10 percent business, 99 percent catalogs, weekend planning, church bulletins, family drama, "Forward if you love Jesus" chain letters, and "inspirational" emails. I have talked to the manager 10 times, and the users a hundred more and they pretty much ignore us. Sadly, IT has very little enforcement ability. -TechieSidhe (Realizing the above percentages don't add up.) It's 1 percent business. -TechieSidhe That's OK TS. Obviously, the boss had told them he wanted "110 percent effort" from them. They only reached 109%, and that was by back-filling with a lot of other stuff! -Voz
CommentsI'm currently facing down that cost for my CCNA exam. Ouchie. But it's still cheaper than the 4 college courses I get to get out of by having it. Let's see? 300 dollars vs 1500 dollars? Yeah. -TechieSidhe
CommentsEver seen an S-shaped two-post patch rack? <giggle> -Gromit Or seen someone try to install heavy four post servers in a two post rack... -ThinkGuy Been there, done that - because there was no other choice. Had to use shelves like this: http://common1.csnimages.com/lf/1/hash/381/347092/1/Centerline+Shelf+%28Solid%29.jpg -Grue Yeah, I've done that as well. These people are a client I'm consulting for. It's a medical practice, they're just being cheap. This rack is just the cheapest they could find, they didn't bother reading the specs (not that they would have come to a different conclusion if they had I'm guessing). Part of the problem is this setup has to be able to transfer to a colo in the future if needs be. The colo won't accept something that's going to fall over as soon as they turn around. -ThinkGuy
Comments"Oh no, they blew up the Arc de Triomphe AND Washington Square Park?!" -AmazingKreskin Nice :) My dad confused the statues of Buddha in Afghanistan that the Taliban blew up some years back, and with the ancient canyon city of Petra in the Kingdom of Jordan, and he thought they blew them both up... -skippytpodar Skippy - does Dad also think John Wilkes Booth shot George Washington? -Captain Trips
CommentsIs your dad my dad? (On the other hand, he and Pam were completely THRILLED when I set their printer to be shared over the home network.) -Seamyst Corollary- unplugging a wired printer or other equipment will make it "wireless"... -Voz First of a series: http://notalwaysright.com/wireless-clueless-and-hopeless/1950 -AnneBWalsh
CommentsNo comment. (Doh!) -ravensentinel You can remove duplicates of this tale easily. -lineswine
CommentsReminds me of something I heard about a few years ago, some program that went through rigorous testing to make sure it would behave as intended when CORRECT values were entered. No one bothered to test what would happen if one entered complete gibberish or just a typo. -Calydor Gibberish instead of passwords, clue-by-four can handle. The user was doing *absolutely nothing wrong* which is why it was so damn irtitating. -Dhamp I am sensing deja vu -DarkRookie
CommentsThree? When a minor, trivial app fails here we hear it from no less than five - and those five are all department heads at that! -Captain Trips 12 total employees including me, you guess what happens. -Olorin
CommentsWhat? Send data that is relevant to their issue? Unthinkable! -lineswine
CommentsSo you were talking to a child right? -shadedworld
CommentsOkay, obviously your company is never going to get rid of Mr. 33-years and it is also obvious that he is trying to burn the place down. I invoke the Tech's Imperious Eradicus! Bring us the body, we'll take care of the rest.... -unrenowned ahem - we have no idea as to what unrenowned speaks of... none. at. all. nothing happend nothing will happen taht has not been pre ordained to happen by chaos theory. accidents happen all the time.. people snap and wander off into the swamps.. -Harm true, true... and in any case I saw skippytpodar, unrenowned and Harm nowhere near the incident... not that I knew there was an incident, that is... WAS there an incident? Oh, really? how.. um.. incidental.. that was... -Diptera i have this signed affidavid and several photos AND receipts (again dated) from our outting at the pub. -Harm Wait, Mr. 33 Years actually got sucked INTO the printer's fuser?!? However did that happen? (Oh, wait, that comment wasn't supposed to be posted until after it happens...) -Voz At my place of business we have an old joke, more of an inside joke. See our ticket system has 15 break/fix levels and we only use level 1 or 2. So we joke that level 13 will take care of all problem users:-) -shadedworld
CommentsWho will secrete the secretaries? (uh.) Who will assist the self-same assistants? (better) -LDFeral
CommentsBut it's a line printer, and everyone knows that a line is just one dimension. Without width or height, it can't weight anything, so therefore a line printer has no weight! </sf logic> -DukeOfURL A few years ago, I was 2 days out of foot surgery on crutches. A co-worker wanted me to walk up stairs carrying a large stack of printouts. *sigh* -MisterCommon That was brilliant sf logic. -metaball
CommentsReciprocal of this story- we worked on ECM pods, (Radar jammers) and the high power output RF amplifiers (TWT) were attached to the cold plate with a layer of Thermal Interface Material (Heat sink). You haven't lived until you take a failed pod apart where they used white RTV silicone rubber instead of the white cadmium TIM. -jerrybear
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Food was delicious, entire family out for a birthday celebration. Patio setting is beautiful, waitress was very attentive and friendly, the flavor of all dishes was excellent, even the produce was amazing.
-Liz E., El Dorado Hills, CA
My husband and I took advantage of the special iEAT menu. Great food, wonderful value(!!) and service. Our server, Julie, was warm, knowledgeable and talked us through the wine pairings that were served with the menu. We ate in the beautiful outdoor patio! Loved it. I don't know why PRG gets over-looked when "the BEST" lists are published. PRG has consistently provided Sacramentans with great food in beautiful surroundings for how many years now?!
-MaryAnn D., Sacramento, CA
There were just 2 of us, and we both had an excellent, delicious, and beautifully prepared meal. Out of this world. We ate out on the lovely patio on a very comfortable night. There was a time when we ate at Paragary's frequently (many years ago), but we hadn't been in quite a while. Glad to be back! Steve (a frequent server of ours when we've eaten there) treated us well.
-Elaine H., Sacramento, CA
My husband and I have been coming to Paragary's for years and we have never had a bad meal here! Recently, my husband had the sea bass special and I had the mushroom tortellini, which were both cooked to perfection. A must to have before the entrees are the fire roasted mussels and the mushroom salad. Yum! Paragary's is one of the few restaurants in the Sacramento area to carry our favorite Cab, Silver Oak from Alexander Valley at an excellent price. Two servers which we have had deserve recognition, too; Gary and Julie. Friendly, attentive and knowledgeable about the menu. We love Paragary's!
-Linda W., Rancho Cordova, CA
We ate on the patio, which is a wonderful experience, and enjoyed the 3 for $25 dinner. Great choices and just the right amount of food. You can always trust Paragary's to bring freshness and delicious food to your table. The service was excellent.
-Mary Z., Elk Grove, CA
We dined later in the evening and found the food and service to be the best. Julie was helpful in the menu choices and did a great job. Paragarys is our favorite local restaurant and we have dined here often but the food quality this particular evening was exceptional (it's always good). The tomato and burrata and salmon cakes were unbelievable from a taste and freshness standpoint; it really doesn't get any better. The pasta special and chicken was equally good.
-Brian W., West Sacramento, CA
The quality of the food is what always cranks up my rating for Paragary's. Everything else was great – we had two servers and the bartender or manager came to the table to see if we wanted additional drinks. Bread was excellent – very fresh. I ordered the Lettuce Gems salad because it was so enticingly described and we were not disappointed. Steak, salmon and plum crisp.
-Judith L, Sacramento, CA
I just wanted to let you know what a wonderful evening we had at Paragary's Bar & Oven. The restaurant never lets us down. The service was excellent. Our servers, Jessica and Toby, were both very professional, friendly and on top of everything. They helped make it a very memorable evening. After the wedding is over, we plan to have a nice dinner to relax and we know where we will be dining – Paragary's Bar & Oven.
-Sally D., Sacramento, CA
As we looked at the menu, we weren't quite sure about staying to dine. Julie, who ended up being our server, enrolled us to stay, however. She commented on how very good the food was there and suggested a few entrees to consider. She also felt she could get us seated at the patio and asked if we would like to see it. "Yes, of course," was our reply. The patio is jaw dropping gorgeous! We were totally in to stay. We made our dining choices and then the food arrived. Amazingly wonderful; so delicious. The Calamari appetizer was one of the best my husband ever enjoyed; tender and crisp. The chicken breast stuffed with fontina, the creamy polenta and grilled asparagus — all done to perfection. Compliments to the chef over and over again. You are one of our new fav restaurants in Sacramento….It was the best choice we could have made to celebrate my birthday that evening. What a delight. We'll be back and will be happy to make the drive in from Sutter Creek.
-Lorraine P., Sutter Creek, CA
Came here for happy hour on the recommendation of a famous chemistry professor, and he couldn't be more right. At first it looked really empty and dark, but we went into the courtyard out back, and it was private, eclectic (lots of high corrugated steel walls, and interesting waterfalls), and very pleasant. We sat at the bar, and were served by a veteran! Happy hour was fun, because we tried, and loved the pepperoni pizza (thin and smoky, with lots of character), meat balls in polenta, beet, pistachio, watercress and avocado salad (lovely yellow beets),and the best of all, a big heap of mussels (last two from the regular menu). All were as good as a neighborhood restaurant in SF. I counted over 25 mussels, and the broth was tasty. Bread was home done too. Manhattan and white wine went perfectly for the setting. Would stop in again
-C. P., Oakland, CA
There's something about sitting under the shade of an olive tree within ear shod of flowing water that provides the requisite calm after a day of non-stop task mastering. On a warm spring/summer evening, Paragary's outdoor patio is the place to dine. I know…some want to criticize the place over its age and decor, but quite frankly I prefer dining in an outdoor setting where I'm not within arms-reach of every pedestrian and derelict that stagers by. Oh, and the food….yes, the food at Paragary's is still reasonably competitive after all these years. Whether it's beef, poultry, seafood, pizza or pasta we seem to enjoy them all. But it all just seems better out on the courtyard.
-Pam P., Elk Grove, CA
Julie was attentive and provided great service. The food was excellent. We ordered the salmon and ravioli as entrees, the mushroom and Jarlsberg salad for an appetizer, and the chocolate cake for dessert. My husband and I shared everything and were delighted with our choices. We will be coming back.
-Lisa C., Sacramento, CA
We had dinner for our anniversary and were treated like family. Jessica was more than just bringing our food and drinks, but was truly providing a service. Our waters were always full (good job bus-boy). Also, the commemorative anniversary photo was a nice touch. The outside patio was lovely. Jessica's knowledge of the menu and food was excellent; the food was delicious; we truly enjoyed our visit and will be back again!
-Rod S., West Sacramento, CA
Completely terrific experience. Visited for Valentine's Day – we had scallops and tenderloin. The food was divine. I am not even worthy to judge beyond that because the taste was out of my league delicious. The leeks that came with the scallops were memorably tender. The cocktails were awesome as well – they must have been great because I don't remember what I had… I'm not big on dessert but it was ok…
-Wayne L., West Sacramento, CA
My husband took me to Paragarys for our Anniversary and the place was perfect, romantic and great service made our night special and the staff made us feel like it was our special night.
-Rosa W., Sacramento, CA
We love, love, love the patio and even though Paragary's is a bit of a splurge for us, we try to come several times in the summer/fall.
We almost always come for our anniversary in July. Also, the cocktails are excellent as is the bartender, Liz. Food is always great. Sometimes we do full dinner with dessert, other times just drinks, salads, and mussels.
-Paige L., Sacramento, CA
I have come to Paragarys for numerous business dinners. Two in the past week. The atmosphere is always conducive for discussion and the food is consistently good.
-Collin H., Rancho Cordova, CA
We went there with 3 couples to celebrate my birthday and it was fabulous…….We sat on the patio which is so beautiful and comfortable. Was a beautiful evening under the stars and lighting…We want to bring more of our friends so they too can enjoy it!
-Carolyn W., Orangevale, CA
Both the food and the service were fantastic! Both entrees were not only beautifully presented, but wonderfully seasoned as well. Both the salmon and the beef were cooked to perfection and both were hot when they arrived at the table. Adrianne–whom we'd not been served by before–was just the right mix of friendly and professional.
-Debby R., Sacramento, CA
There were six people in our party, each ordered something different and not one of us had anything but good comments about the food and our overall experience. Our server was very knowledgable about the food and its preparation. I followed his advice regarding the hanger steak and I could almost cut it with the fork. Didn't need the steak knife. I've already told two friends about our great experience.
-Robert R., Sacramento, CA
The ambiance is always the first presentation and perception of the consumer. I enjoy it immensely when effort is put into a location whether small or big. Second, is the menu selections, which you don't want to overwhelm with numerous choices, but rather with small organized selections of high quality. Third, is how helpful the staff was and how situationally aware they are, which of course varies person to person. And last, the cost to benefit. Did the meal and service out-weigh the cost of the meal. Paragary's thus far has done outstanding on all counts. This is my 2nd time eating there and you're 2 for 2 in my book!
-Robert H., Sacramento, CA
We had our wedding celebration dinner in the court yard. Everything was perfect and your friendly professional staff helped to make it a wonderful event.
-Amanda M., Citrus Heights, CA
We've dined here 3-4 times over the last 5 years and have always been completely satisfied with the experience. The food is simply outstanding and your wine list is a wonderful mix of affordable. Keep it up and we will keep coming back.
-Craig S., Davis, CA
The patio area is magical with the sounds of water and lights. Beautiful! I also love that you have Kir Royale to sip.
-Shirley C., Sacramento, CA
From the moment we arrived, we were pleasantly greeted with a warm smile. Our server, Adriane, was a total delight – friendly, knowledgeable, professional, and witty – a great combination. The food and wine selections were excellent and the ambiance was refreshing. This is one of our favorite restaurants in Sacramento that we have visited on many special occasions. Thank you for the consistency and excellence in your service and your food.
-Ken N., Sacramento, CA
Love the restaurant. Love the inner patio (one of my favorite places to bring out of town guests)! Love the food!
-Arthur M., Concord, CA
We had a wonderful evening at Paragarys, sitting out on the patio. Kathryn, our server, was fantastic. We really felt like we could take our time with each course and enjoy our meal. We never felt rushed. In addition to her great service, our food was delicious, as well. Looking forward to our next visit!
-Nikki A., Sacramento, CA
Went here for dinner, and it was amazing! Our waiter was fabulous, and so was the food. The atmosphere was very home-like, as well. They use an open kitchen, which allows you to watch the chef make the pizzas from scratch in a wood fire oven. The desserts were also very yummy.
-Jessica Z., Sacramento, CA
Always a favorite. I can always depend on great food, great service and a great experience.
-Margarita A., Sacramento, CA
Have you been to Paragarys Bar & Oven lately? If so, tell us about your experience.
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subset: commoncrawl


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I thought the design and overall environment of the hotel was very quaint and enjoyable. I wouldn't recommend this facilities for families, though. I found it very unpleasant when the A/C would go on and off, and at some point during the night I could distinctly smell someone smoking marihuana.While I appreciated the non-smoking policy, I expected it not to... More
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If anything this is Ono's way of saying "Just rush this bitch out and cash-in on the hype"
http://iplaywinner.com/news/2012/3/11/ono-namco-way-behind-schedule-on-tekken-x-street-fighter-and.htmlYou can tell Namco are excited about these crossovers.
Alright I missed something somewhere, when and where did Harada cosplay Lili?Not sure if I'm horrified or just saw the greatest thing ever. Eh, after a few beers I'd probably still Hadoken it.Chun-Ono wishes he was half as hot as Lilirada.
The game is almost 10 percent complete.Probable 2013 release maybe? The character poll from March is still going on, but I wonder who is #1 for each side now...