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Saturday, January 29, 2011
A Tale of Due Pities
This fall, the catalytic converter went out on my van, costing me $1000 to repair. I hate spending money on car repairs, especially stupid ones like this. I mean, my car was working just fine with the old converter, but noooo, you can't renew your registration unless you can pass the emission test and you can't pass the emission test without a working catalytic converter.
Soon after this, I developed a horrible pain in my abdomen. I waited it out for several days, thinking it would eventually go away, but it just kept getting worse until I couldn't stand it any longer. I decided to break down and pay the stupid $800 a month for COBRA and I went to the emergency room where I was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I had to spend a couple weeks on a liquid diet with strong antibiotics that made me feel much worse than the diverticulitis ever did. It was horrendous.
As if the diverticulitis wasn't bad enough, they also found a mass on my ovary that I had to have surgically removed. While doing the surgery, my doctor discovered that I had a considerable amount of endometriosis as well. Fabulous.
On October, all six kids and I came down with the virus from hell. We were all puking and pooping for days. It was so disgusting! I don't know how we survived that.
Then, during the first really bitter cold weather of the season, my furnace went out. I don't even want to remember how much that cost to fix! We spent two days and nights freezing our butts off, waiting for it to be fixed which totally sucked.
Soon after the furnace went out, Austin came to me with the news that he was really depressed, had been self-injuring, and wanted help. After taking him to the ER, he spent a week in the hospital and then three more weeks in outpatient treatment.
Before Austin had even been released from outpatient treatment, Jackson was admitted to the hospital for his own depression issues.
While I was driving back and forth to the hospital every day, sometimes several times a day, I had to leave Savannah in charge of the little ones and I felt horrible and guilty for that. Too often, I threw some pasta or McDonald's on the table and called it dinner. Meanwhile, all my Christmas preparations were put on hold.
My medical bills were stacking up, but still, I couldn't get my ex to pay a penny of his portion of the medical bills (not to mention school registration fees and extracurricular activity fees).
Then my ex texted me to tell me he'd been fired. There went all medical insurance for the kids and all child support.
And then someone went and called DCFS on me because Jackson was depressed and in the hospital. You know, because I didn't have enough to deal with. It's a good thing I have such wonderful people looking out for my kids' well-being. Of course, the person who reported me had very specific things to say in the report. Things I'd never written about on my blog. Things that only a couple of my very best friends and my ex knew. Gee, I wonder who could possibly have called?
Jackson had to be admitted to the hospital not once, not twice, but three separate times before they finally changed his meds completely. After five or so weeks of inpatient treatment, he was discharged.
Then I decided to get my bathroom fixed to remove the little bit of mold that was on the baseboards. As the work got underway, we discovered the mold on the baseboards was only the tip of the iceberg. It was a much, much larger problem than was anticipated. There was a ton of mold!
Then I cracked a tooth. I have no insurance for myself.
Austin's hair has been falling out for a few weeks. It's gotten to the point where I'm really concerned. When I added the hair loss to the depression, total lethargy, constipation, and dry skin, I began to wonder if he has thyroid problems. I took him to the doctor where we had to wait for almost an hour while a little kids walked around the waiting room coughing all over the place. That was fun. The doctor sent us for bloodwork, but failed to mention that the lab was closed for the day. We drove to the hospital for the bloodwork, but were turned away and told to come back tomorrow.
Life sucks so bad. I don't understand why all these things keep happening to me. When will it stop? WILL it ever stop? I just want to crawl into bed and stay there forever. It's unfair!
The catalytic converter went out on my van this fall. It stunk having to pay for that repair, but I'm thankful it wasn't anything serious that could have caused a dangerous situation or an accident. I'm lucky that my friend, Doreen knew of a reputable mechanic, and both my friend, Eric and my dad were able to give me rides to and from the repair shop.
Soon after this, I developed a horrible pain in my abdomen. Thankfully, I was able to sign up for COBRA insurance so I went to the ER to get checked out. The doctors diagnosed me with diverticulitis. The good news is that it was managed with medicine and I only had to endure a couple weeks of pain and nausea.
The CT scan I received in the hospital also uncovered a mass on my ovary. How fortunate that they found this mass and were able to surgically remove it before it gave me any pain or problems. While performing the surgery, the doctor discovered that I had a fair amount of endometriosis. Thank God I have a high tolerance for pain and haven't needed any intervention for this yet.
In October, all six kids and I came down with a nasty intestinal virus. Thankfully, it was fairly short-lived for each of us and even more thankfully, my hero, Eric, came over and cleaned up and puke and took care of us. Plus, I got over the virus just in time to leave for my author retreat in California.
Then my furnace went out. Thankfully, I have a friend who works for a heating and cooling company and he was able to give me a fair deal while I was able to help him out with some side work. We only had to be without heat for two days and it wasn't all that bad since my friend lent us his space heaters during that time. Now I have a brand new, efficient furnace and will receive a sizeable tax credit because of it.
Austin told me he'd been feeling depressed. How awesome is it that he was able to recognize his feelings and share them with me, knowing I'd be able to help him. After only a few weeks of treatment, he's doing so much better. I am so thankful he came to me when he did and that help was available to us.
Jackson also approached me with his own feelings of depression and we were able to get him help too. As much as I didn't like driving back and forth to the hospital, at least the boys were in the same place and it was only half an hour away.
While I was driving back and forth, I knew I could count on Savannah to put the little ones to bed for me. My kids were thrilled that they got pasta and fast food so often during this time. I was able to make sure Savannah still got plenty of time to hang out with her friends and go to the movies and the mall during this time too. As far as Christmas preparations went, this year, we celebrated the little things and realized that baking cookies, sending out cards, and decorating weren't all that important.
My medical bills were stacking up, but I was able to keep up with them despite the fact that my ex wasn't being reliable or responsible.
DCFS called me to ask me a couple questions. I answered them and she scheduled a visit with me for the next day. The next day came and she called and said she wouldn't be able to get out this way for another week or so. Clearly, this was a routine thing that she had to follow up on, but she wasn't concerned about it. It's good we live in a country that has these measures in place to help protect children who are really abused or neglected.
On Jackson's third hospital admission, the doctor decided to radically change his medication. There have been some positive changes in his mood since the medication was revised.
Because my dear friend, Kelli, hijacked my blog and my awesome readers came forward with the most amazing outpouring of support, I was able to have some mold removed in my bathroom. It turned out to be a much bigger problem than I originally thought. Thank God I was able to have this taken care of now!
I cracked a tooth. Thankfully, it doesn't hurt so there's no hurry to get it fixed right now. Hopefully the state insurance will kick in soon. If not, my awesome readers gave me the idea of checking into dental schools to have the work done at a reasonable price.
Because Austin's hair has been falling out and he's experiencing some other troubling symptoms, I took him to the doctor. The doctor thinks it could very well be a problem with Austin's thyroid. All he needs is simple blood test to find out. If that's the case, it would explain a lot of symptoms. And with just a little medicine, he should feel a lot better!
Yeah, I've had a lot of crappy things happen in the past several months, but I still know that God is with me. He's got a plan. It must be a pretty big plan and He's preparing me in a major way. I'm not sure what the future will hold, but I'm excited about the possibilities. And I'm so thankful for my friends, both real-life and virtual, who have been a HUGE source of encouragement and support! Life is good!
We choose how we look at things. We can dwell on the negative and get pulled under and drown in a sea of despair, or we can look at the positive, find hope and happiness and go on, trusting in God.
74 comments:
- Michelle said...
You realize that reading this - the second story - made me cry, right? That is the attitude I strive for, and I know how often I fail. God bless you.
And yes, you're coming to lunch with me soon. Really soon. xoxo - January 29, 2011 at 11:40 PM
Getting the thyroid treated, if he does have a problem could also help with the depression. Tyroid problems can also be genetic so you should probably look at getting the other kids tested if there is a problem. I love the way you've described the same story twice here, yet they're so different.
- January 29, 2011 at 11:58 PM
- Jen@Scrapingirl said...
You have such an awesome outlook on your life. When I grow up, I hope to be like you. :) Did that make you smile? If so, I did my job. My kids and I pray for you everyday, in our morning prayers before school. While they may not know who you are, they care about you and your kids. God bless.
- January 29, 2011 at 11:58 PM
- Denise Scotti said...
Thanks for this. You really are an inspiration, thanks so much!! You inspire me to write, and to be a better person. Good luck to you, and keep up your positive work. You are a great writer, and a wonderful Mom. Your kids are lucky to have you as a role model!
bestparent.wordpress.com - January 30, 2011 at 12:04 AM
- Amy said...
Dawn -
All I can say is: YOU ROCK! God bless you - January 30, 2011 at 12:08 AM
- Kelli Standish said...
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. And so proud to know you. You make me want to stand up and CHEER. And work harder to find the good and beauty in my own life.
Kelli - January 30, 2011 at 12:14 AM
- Kat said...
You are absolutely right Dawn, it's a matter of keeping perspective. My family too has been going through difficulties piled upon difficulties over this past year but we continue to keep our eyes on the horizon and know we will eventually get through it all. I heard a metaphor yesterday that made me pause as we had just received another piece of bad news and the timing was perfect. Yes you're neck deep in "manure" right now while you are in this valley, but nothing grows on a mountain top. You need the fertilizer to grow.
- January 30, 2011 at 12:15 AM
- Unknown said...
I'm so amazed at your positivity. I would totally dwell on the negative, but you are shouldering so much and still smiling. You are an amazing woman!
- January 30, 2011 at 12:29 AM
- V1nce said...
I'm a brighter side kinda guy myself. I'd rather focus on the positive while ignoring the negative.
If you see a bus about to hit you, SMILE this way the last thing people know of you is that you went out happy! - January 30, 2011 at 12:34 AM
- Kimberly said...
What a beautiful and heartfelt story! I am a blog-stalker who has been following you for some time now, and I've been praying for you and your family since I first found your blog. This is the first time I've actually commented, though.
This is an inspiring and wonderfully honest depiction of how, when things are out of control, we have two choices-- either we can wallow in self-pity, or we can recognize that God has a bigger purpose for us, and if we trust in him, he will reveal his grace to us.
I loved reading this, because it reminded me that it is okay to be upset when life isn't fair (and let's face it, life is rarely fair), as long as we do not let that pain and anger overcome us. As someone who suffered with self-injury and an eating disorder for years, I can especially relate to what Austin is going through. But I can attest (after several inpatient stays of my own during high school and a very-nearly-successful suicide attempt) that it DOES GET BETTER!
God has blessed you with six beautiful children, Dawn, and you are a wonderful mother. I know that you will all be stronger for these experiences in the end, and I pray that these struggles bring your family closer together.
Thank you for sharing this. I'd been having a rough couple of days, and this made me want to focus on the positives in my life, instead of dwelling on those things that are out of my control.
Praying for you and your kiddos! - January 30, 2011 at 12:39 AM
- Unknown said...
That was a wonderful post, Dawn. You perfectly demonstrated the half full/half empty viewpoint. Thank you!
- January 30, 2011 at 12:39 AM
- Virginia King said...
Wow, Dawn! You are truly inspirational!! From one single mom to another, thanks for the reminder to trust in God's plan, even when we go through the low places. (((HUGS)))
- January 30, 2011 at 12:53 AM
- Caroline said...
Phheww! That has been quite a few months, last year really, you and your children have had. My guess is you went back and forth between the two ways to look at and experience things, as we all do. I am sure you have ended up in the second camp because that is who you seem to be as a person. I do think you are being prepared in a major way for all sorts of amazing and wonderful things, some of which have already started. You are in the clearing out the ugly, the useless and the negative stage. Once that is gone, there is room for lovely new positive stuff to take it's place. GO DAWN!!!
Much love, Caroline - January 30, 2011 at 1:06 AM
- debi9kids said...
Boy. I understand fully and I'm glad to see you aren't letting the garbage get you down.
Keep the faith Dawn. - January 30, 2011 at 1:16 AM
- Tiff said...
Dawn, you are such an amazing person! I'm so glad you continue to see the good in your life as Satan continues to throw crap your way. I deeply admire you, and I think you for sharing such a great perspective. Keep it up!
- January 30, 2011 at 2:29 AM
It's truly amazing the difference in perspective. Praying that we can all look at our lives as you did in the second version, and not the first!
We have such amazing eyewitness testimony of Jesus and just a fraction of what He did while He was visibly present here on earth. Look only to Him! Praying!
1 John 1:1-4 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life; (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;) That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ. And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.
Prayer Bears
My email address - January 30, 2011 at 2:39 AM
- tinsenpup said...
I love your positive, but practical take on things. It's genuinely inspiring. Congratulations in particular to you and your boys for taking such care with their mental health.
- January 30, 2011 at 2:56 AM
- Leah Dudley said...
Story 2 is definitely the way to go...life can be challenging but you should always look for the positive with gratitude and hope in your heart!
- January 30, 2011 at 3:30 AM
- lightening said...
Call me lazy but I wish blogs had "like" buttons like facebook does. Sometimes you just want to let someone know you've read what they've written and appreciate it but don't have a specific comment to make. :-)
www.lighteningonline.com - January 30, 2011 at 4:23 AM
- Aky said...
Go Dawn! And thankfully we have you in our lives to remind us to be thankful!! Have a great day xxx
- January 30, 2011 at 5:47 AM
- Melissa said...
AMEN!! I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and it might not be apparent straight away.....you just have to be patient and have faith!
- January 30, 2011 at 6:37 AM
- Jennifer said...
I heard this sermon a couple of years ago that really stuck with me. The minister said that God is in the circumstance. Sometimes when we think we are all alone and are wondering why He is letting all of these things happen to us that we need to remember that He is right down there in the bad with us. He's just waiting to use all of that bad for good and when you come out on the other side then it will be so much better than what you could have ever imagined. I think that is what is happening now, and when you get a blessing on the other side and share that blessing it is going to touch so many people. The reach you have is amazing and what happens on the other side of this is going to be amazing as well.
- January 30, 2011 at 8:20 AM
- Jen Reil said...
You are such a strong woman. I hope this new year will bring much happiness your way!
- January 30, 2011 at 8:53 AM
- Donna. W said...
I love this, Dawn. I think I'll share it on Facebook. By the way, after all you've been through I think the first way of describing things would probably be what I'd be saying. God bless you, lady.
- January 30, 2011 at 9:01 AM
- Chris said...
Dawn, obviously the second version is the one we "want" to hear, but frankly, the first one is how you feel sometimes, and it's important to know that you can vent safely here. Glad to hear that Jackson and Austin are getting better! That's the most important part of the story!!
- January 30, 2011 at 9:19 AM
- Laura~peach~ said...
well my dear you have written the most glaring example of how God works in our lives. WHEN we choose to look at things the way he wants us to... the second is of course the HARDER of the two ways to look at things but, absolutely the best way to handle them for your self and your babies.
I so admire your ability to write out what you see think and feel and am really proud to be able to call you a online friend.
We have no clue yet where all this is leading but believe me when I say that You and your life experiences that you choose to share with the world ARE Affect/Effecting I never quite know which fits ... someones life in a positive mannor and Honest I do not know how anyone can live in this world without God being in their lives. Because with out him the first story is all they have and it is full of hopelessness and sorrow.
Thank you for choosing to share your lives.
Hugs and prayers from Georgia :) - January 30, 2011 at 9:21 AM
- Sarah said...
Amen, Dawn! This is great. I love your perspective (both of them)...the reality and then way you can choose to look at things. I am still praying for your family and hope that the boys are doing better and things will turn around for you soon and you can enjoy being together as a family doing normal things like picking dried cereal plastered to the floor with the milk and cleaning up the messes the youngest two get into! :)
- January 30, 2011 at 9:34 AM
- Figaro said...
I have been reading your blog for a long time and have been sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts the whole time...especially lately. I have to say the second story made tears come to my eyes, not because it was sad but because it was you looking on the bright side. I do the same thing. I always try to look on the positive side of things cause if I didn't, I would be sad all the time and that would not be fair to the kids.
I will be continuing to send you the positive thoughts. I think you are doing a really good job with them and do not let the bad comments get you down, they are basing their comments on a small part of your life, they know not of what they speak. - January 30, 2011 at 9:43 AM
- Janet said...
Dawn you are a wonderful writer you did make me cry and also see that there is a plan for everything, you just have to have faith and hold onto your friends for encouragement
- January 30, 2011 at 9:45 AM
- MaBunny said...
Well, the first one made me sad. The second one was still sad but a bit more positive sounding. All I can offer are prayers and hope for the best, as I am dealing with a bunch of my own crap right now. Just gotta keep on keepin' on!
- January 30, 2011 at 9:49 AM
- tamrabsheldon said...
You are an amazingly strong woman. I am humbled by how strong you have stayed through all of your misfortunes and how your faith has buoyed you. Keep it up, chica... your kids see your determination and strength and are learning valuable lessons.
- January 30, 2011 at 9:54 AM
- Keren said...
I'm not sure you intended it this way, but I found myself tearing up at the second story. You are really an inspiration. I'm so glad you didn't give up on blogging!
- January 30, 2011 at 10:03 AM
- Vivian M said...
Right under "Leave your comment", it says: "This is where you tell me how awesome and funny I am."
I don't think I need to tell you what you already know, or your friends and readers will most likely post anyway.
But just in case, you are an awesome Mom, a very funny person, and a really good author and blogger.
Sending you hugs,
Vivian M - January 30, 2011 at 10:13 AM
- JennyF said...
You have certainly been put through the trials, and I'm sure it's difficult to keep the more positive outlook.
My new name for you is Job, and I think that, like Job, you will be blessed many times over on the other side of this experience. - January 30, 2011 at 10:15 AM
- shirley said...
i feel for you on the catalytic converter...my truck needs one, too. i don't have $2500 right now to repair it. i love your blog and read it daily. i wish i could fix some of your problems because you fix my mood with your humor. keep on being positive and take care of you...things always work out in the end.
- January 30, 2011 at 10:20 AM
- Unknown said...
I'm keeping this post handy, so on the days when life is getting the best of me, I can read it and remind myself that sometimes, it's all about the attitude.
Thanks for writing this! (Also, you are awesome and funny!) - January 30, 2011 at 11:36 AM
- Aloha Ya'll! said...
This is a FANTASTIC post! With everything that's happened to you lately, it would be easy to have a really rotten attitude. I hope you are able to stay in the frame of mind of the scond half but I know it isn't easy!
- January 30, 2011 at 12:24 PM
- Lisa said...
Still praying for you and the whole family.
- January 30, 2011 at 1:37 PM
- Unknown said...
Profound comparison! "Positively" (pun intended) profound! And positively powerful as well.
- January 30, 2011 at 1:51 PM
- DWOP said...
Dawn you truly inspire me. I am so thankful to have found your blog. Things HAVE to start looking up for you guys. You have such a great attitude, I wish I had half of your outlook. Hugs
- January 30, 2011 at 2:05 PM
- T.M. said...
Thank you for the reminder that attitude changes so much! I am striving to focus on the positive sides of things every day as I battle anxiety and worry. I know that focusing on the positives can help keep that blood pressure and heart rate down! You are doing some fantastic things for your family. You're right - Life IS good! You remain in my prayers.
- January 30, 2011 at 2:14 PM
- Ruth said...
Sometimes it's just a little bit of both (story 1 and 2) that get us through life....we vent and then we can look back and be thankful of how bad it really could have been..
hang in there..
Ruth - January 30, 2011 at 2:15 PM
- Valerie said...
Thanks for sharing both perspectives - it's such a good reminder. Several (Ok, like 15) years ago a mentor once told me that every morning she prays for the Lord to give her eyes like His so that she can have the proper perspective on all her circumstances. That attitude and prayer got me through a lot. I pray it does for you too. Praying for you and your family!!!!
- January 30, 2011 at 2:56 PM
- Amy said...
I have to admit - the first was more *me*. Sigh. The second reminded me of a Christmas letter!
Amy - January 30, 2011 at 3:04 PM
- Gretchen said...
You give me goosebumps. you know, the good kind. You are such an amazing woman of strong faith and inner strength that is such an inspiration to others. I am so blessed to virtually know you and be able to call you someone I look up to. I truly do. You are an awesome woman, Dawn, never forget that.
- January 30, 2011 at 4:16 PM
- Lesley said...
Dawn, how wonderful of you to post these 2 stories. I admit, I am a VERY negative person. And it has not only affected my life, but the lives of my husband and kids as well. I have been trying hard to change my thoughts and behaviors. Reading your stories has shed a new light on what I need to do to change my negative thought process. God is good, and you WILL get through this, and be stronger because of it.
- January 30, 2011 at 4:31 PM
- Donna Mc said...
God Bless you, Dawn!
Two things come to my mind when I read your post today...
1. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming'...Dorie, from Finding Nemo. Don't give up, girlfriend!
2. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Jeremiah 29:11 That's 'my' verse. It's keeps me sane, grounded, and ever hopeful. Lean on it, girlfriend. Lean on it! - January 30, 2011 at 4:36 PM
- Rachel said...
You are awesome! I love your attitude. It is all in God's hands.
- January 30, 2011 at 6:10 PM
- Unknown said...
Dawn, words cannot describe the way your blog changes my life, my attitude, my outlook, everything when i read it. You are an inspiration to me, and i strive to be the mother that you are. There are times when things seem insane in my own life, and i take a minute to read through some old and new blog posts to put things in perspective. thank you for helping me recognize the many blessings in my own life, and for being one of those blessings! keep your head held high, because YOU ROCK!!!! <3 love and prayers <3
- January 30, 2011 at 6:19 PM
- Kila said...
I loved this. It's all how you look at things. Let's go with story #2, in between falling apart over story #1.
I struggle with depression myself. So glad your boys spoke up and are getting help for it.
(BTW, I'm pretty sure your ex still has to pay child support at the same rate he did while employed! (I'm divorced and the paying party, and being unemployed made no difference in the support I had to pay!))
Hang in there and keep the faith! - January 30, 2011 at 6:53 PM
- Krys72599 said...
Thanks, Dawn, for the reminder that it's all in how you look at things... Hope you don't mind, but I posted a link to this post of yours on my blog - I think people need to remember that you can make your own reality just by how you look at things...
http://krysworld.blogspot.com/2011/01/it-really-isnt-that-bad.html - January 30, 2011 at 8:05 PM
- Karen said...
Wow, Dawn. You are amazing!
- January 30, 2011 at 9:21 PM
- Pams Party said...
Dawn.. I am so glad you are staying strong and keeping faith. When life starts to get overwhelming for our family, my best friend liks to remind me that we will get double for our trouble. With all the trouble you have been through, you will be receiving some amazing blessings. Keep your great positive attitude because the Lord always provides. Things might not always be easy, but you will always make it through.
- January 30, 2011 at 9:40 PM
- Linda said...
Just awesome, Dawn, one of your best posts I think. I hope things stabilize and get on an even keel soon.. however after reading the second post, it is clear you are very strong, have a wonderful attitude and outlook on life and will get through whatever life throws at you....keep up the wonderful work, you are a great role model to so many.
Linda - January 30, 2011 at 9:43 PM
- Sherry said...
Dawn, your continued positive attitude is amazing. I try to stay up beat, but it is easy to let things get us down. Thanks for sharing. Still praying 2011 will be a wonderful, blessed year for you!
- January 30, 2011 at 10:13 PM
- Denise said...
<3 My new favorite post <3
- January 30, 2011 at 10:41 PM
Dawn... You have an amazing outlook on life. I hope you'll continue to look at the 2nd story, to just keep one foot ahead of the other! I know..sometimes, life does drag us down..but you're right, God def. has a plan for everything we go through, even the bad times.
- January 30, 2011 at 11:24 PM
- Jennie said...
Your positivity through such adversity is admirable and inspirational. :) You should become a motivational speaker.
- January 31, 2011 at 12:54 AM
- Just me. said...
You are amazing. Please know that you are an inspiration to others....that even thru the worst of it all, you can find another side to it and be grateful. Thank you!!
- January 31, 2011 at 6:31 AM
- Kathy said...
Your closing remark was beautiful, Dawn. Too often I tend to look at the negative. I'll remember that next time my mind starts to wander there. Thanks for the reminder.
- January 31, 2011 at 8:27 AM
- Janice said...
The mold could be the answer to your sons issues. Seriously, google mold, depression, hair falling out. Mold is toxic and can do a serious number on you. If nothing comes back on the thyroid, I'd suspect the mold. Any headaches?
- January 31, 2011 at 10:02 AM
- Robin said...
I love that even in the midst of all the crap, you can still find the positive. One day you and the kids are going to look back at this time and laugh about it. Great things are coming your way! And when they do, this will just be a memory.
Love & hugs sent your way ~ - January 31, 2011 at 10:07 AM
You're so very blessed. God loves you so much to jump in and help you get each problem fixed. You must be one of His favorites. :o)
After my ex husband left, I had one catastrophe after another. For a long time. A little too long. lol But I also got what I consider one miracle after another. I am 110% positive that God jumped in to help with each problem. I spent years of worry and stress. Now I just shrug my shoulders and say "Oh well, no biggie, God will help me." And he always does. Total faith in God is cool. You'll get to that point. It sounds like you're on your way already.
Jean - January 31, 2011 at 10:13 AM
- Nicole said...
I agree with a person who commented at the beginning. If it is a thyriod problem, I would suggest getting the rest of your kids checked. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism when I was 13, (I'm 28 now) and within the last year both of my brothers (26 and 21) and my sister (29) were diagnosed with the same thing.
I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. You are alot braver than I am. Loves. - January 31, 2011 at 1:02 PM
Its a definite case of a glass being half full or half empty.
I can feel for you and especially as last year was disasterous for me too. Firstly, my business (retail) went under leaving me with horrendeous debts. So bad that I was getting constant phone calls and threatening letters, so much that I didnt know where to turn.
Then my mother who has been in a nursing home with Alzeheimers disease took a turn for the worst and died just before Christmas.
If that wasnt bad enough, the day of her funeral it snowed heavily and the journey to the town where the service was taking place took 6and half hours instead of 40 minutes. Yes, I missed the actual funeral - you can imagine how I felt. At least we managed to get to the cemetary (after the burial) where my Priest son did another small service around the graveside. Many of the people who wanted to attend also had to turn back due to the snow.
Meanwhile the debts were mounting and the bank just adding on charges all the time.
On the plus side - my mother was very ill, a Christian and I am sure she is now at peace with God. We didnt have a car accident in the snow and stayed overnight with my sister, so were not stranded outside either.
I have come into a modest inheritance and this has helped to sort out my debt problems. And the fact that I no longer 'go out to work' means I have more time to do what I want in life.
In all this my faith in God stood strong - ok I was cross with Him about the snow! And we have decided on a Memorial service for mum in the Spring and have it as a celebration of her life, and invite all her friends etc.
Luckily I have the support of a good husband and son, and many friends to help me. But yes, there have been days when I have felt like just staying in bed, or else have wasted hours just playing games on the PC.
Keep strong and thinking positive - you will come through all this. - January 31, 2011 at 3:28 PM
- Kris Roach said...
I love how you are able to put the positive slant on each of these things...that is such a blessing! They say life is 10% about what happens to you and 90% about how you respond...You, my dear, are making something positive out of all of this and that is no little task~!! Seriously, i agree with you, God is preparing you for something big...He does not send the problems, he sends the solutions. We know who sends the problems and I say, you must be about to do something really amazing and this is all going to prepare you for your new lot in life!!! God bless you and your wonderful children...
- January 31, 2011 at 5:10 PM
- Kris Roach said...
P.S. In the midst of all of that stuff...your blog won the contest!!!
- January 31, 2011 at 5:11 PM
- Kitchen-Dreams said...
I am speechless. Even with the positive spin on this chain of events it always amazes me when one family has to deal with so many hard things.
- January 31, 2011 at 8:35 PM
- sasha said...
Hi Dawn I wish I could afford to send you loads of money unfortuantely I have yet to win the lottery :) however I did just order both your books and I look forward to getting and reading them.. Every little bit helps right?? Anyways keep your head up...Sasha
- January 31, 2011 at 9:38 PM
- beth said...
Just wanted to let you know that I prayed for you this morning.
- February 1, 2011 at 1:44 AM
- Carla said...
I realize I'm the 71st comment on this post, but it was so inspiring I just had to say something--even if it's all been said 70 times already. Thank you for posting! This really is beautiful and such a great reminder to cultivate a healthy attitude. I'm praying for you and your family!
carla-jansen.blogspot.com - February 2, 2011 at 3:42 PM
- Kimberly said...
I just want to give you a really big hug. What a way to look at life. Finding the positive in all that you've been through this year really shows the kind of quality amazing person you must be.
So here's a high five and a hug! - February 3, 2011 at 2:34 PM
- Jennifer Foster said...
What a difference! I *heart* you, Dawn :-)
Your friend,
Funjenny - February 3, 2011 at 9:37 PM
- Michelle Morgan-Coole said...
And that, right there, I think, is why you deserve the title of Renaisance Man, I mean Mom.
- February 12, 2011 at 11:08 PM


text:
The U.S. Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) has expanded the amount of product being recalled by the Chilean Ministry of Health. After official notification from the government of Chile of the positive result for dioxin, FSIS instructed importers to hold chicken products, which were presented for re-inspection. FSIS has determined that 343,637 lbs of chicken may be affected and 155,595 lbs is currently being held. Through effectiveness checks, FSIS has determined that 188,042 lbs was distributed to federal establishments for further processing, a distributor and retail locations in Florida, Georgia, New York, Pennsylvania and Puerto Rico.
The Chilean Ministry of Health and Ministry of Agriculture oversees the recall activities and investigations in Chile. FSIS continues to verify through effectiveness checks that all receivers of affected product from the Chilean-initiated recall have been notified and have removed product from commerce. FSIS will take appropriate action if prohibited activity is found.
FSIS conducted an analysis of the Chilean test results and determined that the risk to consumers is negligible. FSIS continues to investigate distribution of the product and will take immediate action on new information.
FSIS has reason to believe, based on information provided by the Chilean Ministry of Agriculture, that recent shipments of poultry from Chile contain dioxin, and, because they have been recalled, they are unfit for consumption. Therefore, all products produced at San Vicente establishment [Chilean establishment 0608] on the affected dates [May 30, 2013 and June 12, 2013] are considered adulterated and should be destroyed.
FSIS has issued this public notification to make the public aware of the situation. FSIS is not announcing a recall at this time because the establishment most directly associated with producing the adulterated product has recalled product, and USDA works with its counterparts to conduct effectiveness checks in the United States. In this case, the Chilean Ministry of Health initiated a recall of this product.
Dioxins are a group of compounds that form naturally during forest fires, as well as from industrial emissions and burning trash. They are incorporated into plants and are potentially eaten by animals where they become concentrated in animal fat. People are exposed to low levels of dioxins through their diet with lesser exposure from air and soil. At very high doses for a prolonged period, dioxins can have adverse health effects. FSIS has determined that exposure to dioxin in the product is low and does not pose a health threat.
Source: FSIS

subset: commoncrawl


text:
There isn't a whole lot of supplies that you need for this.
- Drill and standard drill bit (if you are choosing to use a melamine bowl and plate like I did)
- Bowl and Plate (mine came from Target at less than $2 each)
- Large carriage bolt, I used 10"x 5/8"
- Three washers that will fit your bolt
- Three nuts that will fit your bolt
- Glue (I like to use CA glue)
- If you use a carriage bolt like myself, you will also need some nylon cord
Even with the block of wood, because the bowl and plate isn't perfectly flat, you might have a bit of chipping, but that shouldn't be a problem. You are just trying to avoid cracking the plate or having a large blow out.
See, even mine chipped. Not a big deal, it won't be seen. Once you drill the holes in the center of your bowl and plate, it's time to assemble your piece.
Place a washer on your bolt and then bring your bolt up through the bottom part of your bowl.
It will be very wobbly, so you will need to sandwich the washers around the bowl with glue. The order goes, washer, glue, bowl, glue, washer.
Then you will take a nut and thread it a few inches down. Your plate will sit directly on top of this nut.
Place your plate on the nut, then thread another nut so that the plate sits between the two. Hand tighten them so your plate doesn't move, but not so hard that you crack the plate.
Then place another washer and another nut on your bolt. This step is only necessary if you used a carriage bolt like I did. If you found a large eye bolt, your assembly will be in reverse.
I will show you the the reason for the stacking of the nuts and washers on the top. Did you ever do make lanyard keychains/bracelets out of the plastic cord as a kid? I hope so, because that is how you are going to make your loop. So, cut yourself two pieces of nylon cord about 2 feet long each.
First, tie a simple overhand knot (the first knot you make when tying a shoe) with each piece of cord. Make sure the knot is around the middle of the cord.
Then you start doing a lanyard knot (technically called a crown sinnet knot) over the top of the washer, but make sure your overhand knot stays tight while doing so. If you aren't comfortable with your overhand knot, glue it before proceeding to your crown sinnet knot.
I found a great animation on how to do the crown sinnet knot...so if you don't understand how to do it, please visit Animated Knots by Grog to check it out.
Once you have created a few inches of the crown sinnet knot, take two strands of cord and make some loops like so. You will then take your two remaining strands of cord and tie an overhand knot around the base of your loops.
Pull it very tight. You don't want it to come loose. Then, cut the excess cord off. Cut close to the base of your knot
You will need to burn the ends of your nylon cord. This will cause it to melt and expand a little. This will make sure your cord doesn't unravel and your knots won't come out. The above photo shows burned cord ends on the right, and unburned ones on the left.
All you have left to do is go fill your bowl with bird seed, hang it outside and wait to see what feathery friends come to visit. It took less than a day for my first feathery friend to discover the new bird feeder. Once that happened, I've had regular visitors ever since!
I hope you create your own bird feeder. I would love to see pics of any you make! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
Sharing this over at:
Momnivore's Dilemma - Creative Juice
Sew Many Ways - Sew Darn Crafty
Not Just a Housewife - Show Me What Ya Got


text:
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Chocolate Hazelnut Truffles
From the kitchen of One Perfect Bite...This confection is private stock, served only to BFF's or shared with my daughters as we sip pear brandy and talk late into the night. While not quite as good as the Ferrero Rocher chocolates after which they're patterned, I must say, with all due modesty and a drum roll or two, that these are PDG. They are also embarrassingly easy to assemble and for that reason I make them throughout the year. The truffles take about 30 minutes to prepare, but the chocolate mixture used to form them must be chilled before they can be shaped, so, despite ease of preparation, you'll have to build wait time into your game plan. I found the recipe on the Taste of Home website several years ago and I've made no changes to it, save for altering the time the chocolate must be refrigerated. I've found that the overnight chill suggested in the recipe produces an unworkable mass that must sit for an hour before the truffles can be shaped. A three hour chill is all that's really need. I am currently using milk chocolate candy bars to make these, but come the first of the year I want to make these using Nutella. I like the thought of triple hazelnut truffles. I hope you'll give these a try. They really are delicious. Here's the recipe.
Chocolate Hazelnut Truffles...from the kitchen of One Perfect Bite, courtesy of Debra Pedrazzi and Taste of Home magazine
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
2 tablespoons baking cocoa
4 milk chocolate candy bars (1.55-oz. each)
6 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
24 whole hazelnuts
1 cup very finely chopped hazelnuts, toasted
1) In a large bowl, sift together confectioners' sugar and cocoa; set aside. In a saucepan, melt candy bars and butter. Add the cream and reserved cocoa mixture. Cook and stir over medium-low heat until mixture is thickened and smooth. Pour into an 8-in. square dish. Cover and refrigerate for about 3 hours or overnight.
2) Using a melon baller or spoon, shape candy into 1-in. balls; press a hazelnut into each. Reshape balls and roll in ground hazelnuts. Store in an airtight container in refrigerator. Yield: 2 dozen.
You might also enjoy these recipes:
Easy and Festive Peppermint Bark Candy - Sugar and Spice
Candy Cane Fudge - What's Cookin Chicago?
Dark Chocolate-Covered Peanut Butter Cups - Verses from My Kitchen
Honey Cream Caramels - Eat Good 4 Life
Peanut Butter Fudge - Brown Eyed Baker
Chocolate Covered Toffee - Petit Foodie
Rocky Road Fudge Candy - Baking and Boys
Easy Chocolate Turtles - Culinary Cory
66 comments :
- Angie's Recipes said...
oh Mary, I love truffles! Chocolate, hazelnuts....the combination of these two earthy ingredients is like marriage made in heaven.
Angie - December 21, 2010 at 12:21 AM
- Jenn @ Peas and Crayons said...
Yum! These look straight out of the godiva store - good job! =)
Jenn @ Peas & Crayons - December 21, 2010 at 12:28 AM
- Mary Bergfeld said...
Jennifer, I often have problems finding props. I used a box that once contained salt cod for the picture. Geez! Does that make me green or just crazy? Blessings...Mary
- December 21, 2010 at 12:41 AM
- Katerina said...
I don't know why but I have connected the truffles with Christmas although this is so silly and narrow-minded. After Chrsitmas time I completely forget about them. Anyway, these truly look very professional and I understand why you enjoy them throughout the year.
- December 21, 2010 at 12:57 AM
- Alessandra said...
I think these are better than the Ferrero Rochers!
The box is good too, great recycling! - December 21, 2010 at 1:13 AM
- cocoa and coconut said...
What a wonderful sweet these would be on a Christmas table. I think I'll have to try them out!!
- December 21, 2010 at 1:32 AM
- Nina Timm said...
I made in excess of 200 on Saturday for a wedding and I am going to make soem again today for gifts. I think homemade is better than the bought ones!
- December 21, 2010 at 1:55 AM
- Bakericious said...
I love truffles, I wish I can have some right now!
- December 21, 2010 at 1:58 AM
- Kris Ngoei said...
Just look as delicious as Ferrero Rocher, nothing less! And the plus point is... this is home-made :-)
- December 21, 2010 at 2:38 AM
- Cherine said...
Truffles are a fabulous treat, and yours look fabulous!
- December 21, 2010 at 3:06 AM
- Banana Wonder said...
Thanks for sharing the recipe and I love how you are so Oregon style sipping your pear brandy with the hazelnut truffles! Also love the use of acronyms here.
- December 21, 2010 at 3:11 AM
- Sonia ~ Nasi Lemak Lover said...
Mary, i never make truffles before, I must try this one day. Thanks for sharing.
- December 21, 2010 at 3:24 AM
- Carolyn™ said...
Reads and looks wonderful I love chocolate and hazelnuts.
- December 21, 2010 at 3:41 AM
- Chele said...
Yum! I'm a bit of a dab hand at the old truffles (if I do say so myself!!!!) so will be giving this recipe a try for sure. Thanks for sharing with us ;0)
- December 21, 2010 at 4:07 AM
- penny aka jeroxie said...
those are just balls of yumminess.!
- December 21, 2010 at 4:11 AM
- Priya Suresh said...
Send me some, very tempting truffles..
- December 21, 2010 at 4:54 AM
Mary these look heavenly!
- December 21, 2010 at 5:37 AM
- Rachel said...
Your truffles look amazing. I love your presentation!
- December 21, 2010 at 6:44 AM
- From the Kitchen said...
I'm thinking Valentine's for these truffles. I'm glad that you used milk chocolate. I love it!
Bonnie - December 21, 2010 at 6:54 AM
- Blog is the New Black said...
I saw Ina Garten make something so similiar this weekend! Looks great!
- December 21, 2010 at 7:25 AM
- Linda Starr said...
UMMMM, hazelnuts aren't used enough, truffles, just devine.
- December 21, 2010 at 7:36 AM
- Linda Starr said...
should be divine, but I said it de - vine, so I spelled it that way some how, he he. must have been your lucious photo that had me mesmerized.
- December 21, 2010 at 7:37 AM
- Valerie Harrison (bellini) said...
Thanks for sharing this family favourite with us Mary. Have a joyous holiday whatever treasures it holds.
- December 21, 2010 at 7:38 AM
- Schnitzel and the Trout said...
Mary, you have found a treasure here. I had to chuckle...you are so clever. I recognized that wooden box immediately. I married a man with much Norwegian blood and salt cod is familiar around here.
- December 21, 2010 at 7:51 AM
- Julie said...
These truffles look amazingly good! Sharing them with your daughters and pear brandy, even better!! Cheers!
- December 21, 2010 at 7:55 AM
- Unknown said...
Gorgeous looking truffles...Perfect for this season!!yummy..:)
http://www.myeasytocookrecipes.blogspot.com/ - December 21, 2010 at 7:59 AM
- Unknown said...
Chocolate...Hazelnuts... Truffles.... What's not to love here? OMG these look amazing!
- December 21, 2010 at 8:13 AM
- The Food Hound said...
These would smoke Ferrero Roche in any competition :) They look amazing!
- December 21, 2010 at 8:14 AM
- T.W. Barritt at Culinary Types said...
Well, my goal is now to become your BFF! Best wishes for the holidays!
- December 21, 2010 at 8:22 AM
- lena said...
mary, looks great and seems easy to make these. yup, can have these all the time!
- December 21, 2010 at 8:32 AM
- Biren @ Roti n Rice said...
This is definitely the season for hazelnuts. I love them and have made some treats with them. These hazelnut truffles are calling out to me. They look wonderful! I would have them any time over Ferreros :)
- December 21, 2010 at 8:43 AM
- Diana's Cocina said...
I'm sure these beauties are delicious. I've added them to my list " to make soon".
- December 21, 2010 at 8:44 AM
- Ann said...
The recipients of these truffles must feel really lucky. I feel lucky just knowing this recipe, now. Thanks, Mary!
- December 21, 2010 at 8:46 AM
- Gloria Baker said...
This look amazing and delicious like always dear Mary, have a lovely and blessings to you! gloria
- December 21, 2010 at 8:52 AM
- Yoshi said...
Looks so yummy. I admire your skills to photograph foods, and your cooking, of course!
I will check shelves to see if there is any chocolate left!
Have a wonderful day. - December 21, 2010 at 9:07 AM
- Elin Chia said...
Mary...hugs and muakz for you...I love truffles and yours came just perfect for Xmas :) I am going to make this for Xmas...another 3 days left ! Great pictures :)
Have a blessed Xmas and happy holidays,
Elin - December 21, 2010 at 9:11 AM
- PeggyR said...
Those sound heavenly!
- December 21, 2010 at 9:15 AM
- Unknown said...
Beautiful! I would love to squeeze some truffle making in - in the next few days! Love their endless possibilities!
- December 21, 2010 at 9:46 AM
- Indrė said...
Perfect Idea for presents. I think i'm going to to these. Just hard job to blanch nuts is waiting (where are live you can rarely find blanched nuts :( )
- December 21, 2010 at 9:52 AM
- Mrs K said...
These look so perfectly round and melt in your mouth variety.I had also made some double chocolate truffles with almonds and almond extract :) Mary ,I tried the herb bread and have posted it on my blog,it turned out excellent.Thanks!!!
- December 21, 2010 at 9:59 AM
Beautiful truffles. Love the combination of chocolate and hazelnut!
- December 21, 2010 at 10:01 AM
- Yvonne @ StoneGable said...
Mary~ I'm putting this recpie away for Valentine's Day! It does sound easy and delicious.
I could eat one... or two truffles every day. And to sip it with pear brandy while savoring these truffles sounds divine!
You always amaze me!
Merry Christmas~ may your day be filled with joy!
Yvonne - December 21, 2010 at 10:16 AM
- teresa said...
oh how brilliant! such a wonderful treat for the holidays!
- December 21, 2010 at 10:22 AM
- Claudia said...
PDG indeed! They're luscious. I love that they are "private stock." (I have a few treats like that - family only).
- December 21, 2010 at 11:33 AM
- Kim said...
Mary - I love how you describe them as private stock. That tells me these truffles are a much loved and prized confection. I hope you enjoy many of these truffles with your girls this holiday season.
P.S. I love your idea of adding Nutella for a triple hazelnut punch.
Enjoy the season! - December 21, 2010 at 12:41 PM
- Emily Z said...
What beautiful truffles. I love the combination of chocolate and hazelnut, it is wonderful.
- December 21, 2010 at 12:48 PM
- scrambledhenfruit said...
I love those Ferrero Rocher truffles- I'm sure this version is just as delicious. You can't go wrong with chocolate and hazelnut. (And the Nutella "punch" sounds like a fabulous idea!) I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
- December 21, 2010 at 1:46 PM
- Unknown said...
Just gorgeous, what a lovely treat.
- December 21, 2010 at 3:19 PM
- Kim said...
I love these truffles! I prepared some of them too! My recipe is a bit like yours, and it's so true that it's a treat!
- December 21, 2010 at 5:00 PM
- Ginny Hartzler said...
Oh, these look so yummy! I would love to taste one, I bet they're decadent!
- December 21, 2010 at 5:31 PM
- bunny The Paris House said...
Mary I'm with Yvonne on this, I will make these for Christmas and definitely file this recipe in my Valentines folder. I always make truffles for Valentines day and your recipe sounds divine!
Happy Holidays
Bunny - December 21, 2010 at 5:59 PM
- Mags @ the Other Side of 50 said...
This was going to be my first year making truffles and I ran out of time to get them finished before the holidays. Yours look decadent and I can see why you save them for the special people in your life.
Have a Merry Christmas Mary! - December 21, 2010 at 5:59 PM
- Joanne said...
I was considering making a white chocolate hazelnut cake for Christmas and then realized that one of my cousins is allergic to hazelnuts! I need to get my fix somewhere, however, so perhaps I'll just make these and keep them all to myself!
- December 21, 2010 at 7:53 PM
- Jen_from_NJ said...
I will enjoy sharing these with my daughters as we talk late into the night. Thank you for the lovely idea Mary! Oh, and the Nutella sounds fantastic too.
- December 21, 2010 at 8:52 PM
- aipi said...
Those truffles are to die for!!
US Masala - December 21, 2010 at 11:12 PM
- Lucie said...
I can't get enough Ferrero Rocher when Christmas rolls around--it's the only time in the year I allow myself to have them! I've got to say, though, your version looks much better, Mary!
- December 22, 2010 at 2:53 AM
- Deb in Hawaii said...
These look delicious and I love how you have them in the wooden box--so pretty. ;-)
- December 22, 2010 at 3:34 AM
- Jamie said...
What perfect truffles! And yes, we love one or two little chocolate treats like this with our glass of wine after a good meal. Fabulous recipe and one I will be nabbing! Hoping you and your family have a Joyous Holiday Season!
- December 22, 2010 at 8:02 AM
- Don't Make Me Call My Flying Monkeys! said...
My mouth is watering and it's not even 9am yet! I am going to make these...a batch for me and then one for everyone else!!
- December 22, 2010 at 9:45 AM
- A Canadian Foodie said...
I love the box you have these in. Lucky recipient on the other end. That is some Christmas love!
Merry, Merry Christmas to you and your family!
I wish you warmth, love, and happiness!
BIG hug!
Valerie - December 22, 2010 at 12:04 PM
- Valérie said...
They look sublime! We recently made a huge batch of truffles around here, with different flavours (coffee, cassis, Espelette chili pepper, and violet), but these look so pretty! Let us know if you try the Nutella version.
- December 22, 2010 at 2:02 PM
- Leslie said...
Beautiful and delicious!
- December 22, 2010 at 11:32 PM
- Kim - Liv Life said...
Absolutely amazing!! I love truffles, and hazelnuts are a new favorite find. I think I will toss some of these together tomorrow for our holiday plates! Excellent idea!
- December 23, 2010 at 12:00 AM
- Kathy Walker said...
Your truffles look amazing! There isn't a better combo than chocolate and hazelnuts! Great photography!
- December 23, 2010 at 11:59 AM
- Zupan's Markets said...
Yummmmm! And a great gift for Christmas!
- December 23, 2010 at 1:06 PM
- CaSaundraLeigh said...
You're truffles look so gourmet--great job!
Have a wonderful Christmas! - December 24, 2010 at 9:31 AM


text:
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Jerry Saltz on Marlene Dumas at MoMA
"MoMA's dreary Marlene Dumas show establishes that she is a sensationalist with no original ideas about painting, color, or photography; she hasn't developed as an artist; is merely a later day Neo-Expresionist; is more connected to Andreas Serrano than to any painter." - Jerry Saltz on Marlene Dumas, on Facebook, 1/3/09.
WOW! That's it?? A facebook note after fifteen years of random sideswipes? Dude, she has a solo show on your home turf, at the freaking MoMA... this was really put-up or shut-up time.
Some great comments in response to the note -
"Well, Jerry, I have noticed that you've been complaining about her for years, is there a full review underway? If not it's time to let go of this thing with her..." - Joe Fyfe
"It appears you're simply writing "dreary" to avoid dealing with Dark." - Joy Garnett
"I find it fascinating how uniformly critics and New Yorkers (yeah, and me) have hated this show, even Peter Schjeldahl, who I'd have guesed would have found the personality to his liking" - John Haber
John Haber is wrong... Peter Schjeldahl reviewed the show positively. Roberta Smith did not hate the show either.
"I'm gratified that so many people I like to read are so uniform in dumping on this utter garbage and leave it at that" - John Haber... I mean John Hater!! haha.
Charlie Finch dumps, and even uses the word "retarded" to describe the show, apparently trying to glom some of the attention Chris Sharp got for his Joe Bradley review.
34 comments:
- kelli said...
For somebody who likes blogging I can't bring myself to do either facebook or myspace. Social networking sites just seem so....social.
It's strange that people who don't like her always pick on marginal stuff like her prices or color palette instead of the most obvious issue: the unreflective use of photography and photojournalism. I think you would need some faith in the idea that the painted version of an image adds something photography can't accomplish which I don't personally have. It does seem weird that the people who dislike her always seem to pick away bitterly at peripheral issues. I thought the Roberta Smith review was probably the closest to really looking at the shortcomings in a fair way.
Usually the nitpicking seems personal. It's weird. - 1/18/2009 1:06 AM
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
I think if the painter does nothing more with a photograph than try to copy it verbatim, and badly at that, then it would be true to say 'the painted version' does not add anything to the photograph. But I think one must also take into account, when considering the way a painter utilizes photographic source material, the way they employ: careful editing and cropping, alteration of scale and proportion, handling of the brush or whatever tool they are using, and inventive use of color. These are all formal elements of a painting. But what about other things like the fact that photographs and films generate memories and become part of our fabric of being as much as any 'real' thing; the people we have known, the places we have lived, the things we have done. My childhood memories are a complete mish mash of films and television clips, photographs, comic books, illustrations, and all of the things I lived through, both actual and imagined. All of this stuff is intertwined. Not only are they inseparable, they seamlessly blend and transform into something new during the act of remembering and while we dream. Of course there are certain painters who use photographs because they specifically want to dwell upon the nature of media and reproductive technology. But that is not the case with all painters who use photographs and illustrations for a source of inspiration. I get the feeling that critics who dismiss painters who use photographs asssume that their use of photographs for inspiration indicates a lack of imagination or creative bankruptcy.
- Anonymous said...
I don't think she's that bad a painter at all. The restraint with which she almost doesn't paint is not that easy. I fear that those who trash her technique as "lazy" have a too-limited concept of competent painting. And that includes me. I've never been SATISFIED by her technique, but she refuses to satisfy in a challenging way. In other words, she knows what she's doing. Her paint handling is much more expert and substantive than Dana Schutz, who is the first paint-slatherer who comes to mind.
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
Facebook is 'social' in the sense that it provides people with the opportunity to satisfy their morbid curiosity and look up people from their past and discover how they turned out. I have been on and off Facebook for about a year now and I am convinced that more often than not people 'Friend" other people just to make themselves feel better about themselves, and no tangible real friendships ever come from it. "They got fat!", "They're still not married?", "She married him?", "I knew they would never (fill in the blank)", etc.
You make some good points vc. I guess the real dividing line with Dumas' technique is whether or not you consider her washes, drips, brushiness, and shorthand to be a bag of tricks or a style that was long fought for, a perfect balancing of control and accident. - 1/18/2009 11:09 AM
- Nomi Lubin said...
Hey! What are you trying to say about my 350 closest facebook friends?
Facebook is a lot like most things on the internets -- good, bad, ugly, beautiful. - 1/18/2009 6:01 PM
- zipthwung said...
Facebook is weird.
I remember rotary phones and TRS-80 home computers and magazines for importing brides from Russia and Thailand.
"the unreflective use of photography and photojournalism"
is a sin.
Painting heads is easy as far as composition goes - and single close cropped figures is also facile (I love that put down).
SO if facile paint handling doesn't impress me either - anyone can learn to paint, it's not magic.
On the other hand, I like movies made from Steven King novels, but I don't like reading them, except maybe on tape, which is also,
a sin.
But what is the hullabaloo about Dumas? She's a competent watercolorist and she likes kinky stuff or whatever.
But without the money behind her we wouldn't rank her any higher than
Kelli here, who has yet to have a work purchased by a museum, let alone a mini retrospective.
I don't get it.
I don't see Dumas as "imaginative" in the sense of invented worlds, or originality of thought, which is something I value in art - as opposed to realism which values or privileges mood and tone (which are important but look out for Fashion and design) but often lacks the kind of content I value.
Being a keen observer might help, but Dumas is not a journalist or a forensic scientist. That would be a more interesting back story.
Dumas seems closer to comic book or graphic novel art than Serano, who is closer to fetish magazines.
Just add text. - 1/18/2009 9:14 PM
- zipthwung said...
Also more on full retard from Saltz:
Talking about the rollicking mockumentary Tropic Thunder, we were stupefied by the observation Robert Downey Jr., performing in blackface—already off the charts in terms of bad taste, but somehow perfect—made to the Ben Stiller character. When acting, he said, "never go full retard."
I could catalogue more references to the movie - but it's interesting art folks are on this meme. - 1/18/2009 9:24 PM
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
Just to be perfectly clear, my comments about photography and painting were not meant to be a defense of Dumas' art.
"I don't see Dumas as "imaginative" in the sense of invented worlds, or originality of thought, which is something I value in art."
So when will you post jpegs of your work online zip, so we can connect the words with the art?
The Battlestar Art World coming up soon. - 1/18/2009 9:35 PM
- Nomi Lubin said...
Painting heads is easy as far as composition goes
Not true. Close cropped, not close cropped -- not true. - 1/19/2009 12:41 AM
- Barnaby said...
I love facebook.
- zipthwung said...
My work is like grant wood meets Andrew Wyeth, but retarded.
I disagree Nomi, a head is an oval, and simple ovals fit easily inside rectangles, in my experience.
How can I give credit for something I do myself because it's eay (i.e. imensely satisfying?) No, criticality demands we lambaste those that take the easy way out, even if it is us.
Look at Picasso when he starts phoning it in with geometric shapes.
Start with a figure. Put both almond shaped eyes on the same side of the face with a triangular nose. DO it again and again.
I never did like Picasso. Not even once. But that bastard is having so much fun and laughing al the way to the bank. How dare he.
Too much controll, too much concern with getting it right" or "making it sophisticated" makes the painting look like an act.
Better to be a hack than a drone.
ANd Picasso didn't care, but he still put on the act. I go to my studio every day and make a painting.
What a laugh.
When I show it willbe three or four paintings cut from my diseased liver. Maybe you'll see it and know it. - 1/19/2009 3:56 AM
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
Send me some jpegs. I will delete them after I look at them.
Yeah your right Barnaby and Nomi. Facebook is cool. I think it would be fun to make a performance art 'piece' where you create two Facebook personas, one an ultra successful person who has everything other people might want, and the other, a person who lives in a cardboard box, lives under a bridge, and who suffers all the torments life can offer. But I also thing Facebook has a dar side. "Hey let me get in touch with someone I knew many years ago, find out what their life turned out like, and then ignore them again." - 1/19/2009 8:49 AM
- Nomi Lubin said...
Well, you gotta not accept "friends" like that. We all know who those people are already.
Gets tricky if you're talking about some sort of circle of people and you don't want to offend anyone . . . but really, if you can't decide who you let in on facebook . . . - 1/19/2009 1:16 PM
- Eva said...
I love Facebook - and Dumas. It is a little weird though that the critic chooses Facebook over a review - after all, he's a critic. Maybe he's not, in the end, comfortable with what he's been pushing all these years about her.
- Nomi Lubin said...
I don't know zipthwung. I'm no genius in following what you're saying, but it sounds like you're supporting my point.
If it's easy and formulaic, something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong that cannot be disguised.
I don't mean that painting can never come easily AND be good. Of course not.
But scale is a mysterious and elusive thing. - 1/19/2009 1:21 PM
- Anonymous said...
Barnett Newman said the only way to achieve content is through scale. Imagine if that were true. Maybe it is.
- zipthwung said...
i'll out myself one day soon - or someone will do it for me like they do for Steve Kaplan.
Price of being an ass is the wages of something.
Ask and ye shall receive just as soon as I get my other shit together so I can get back to the question and the answer.
No, Nomi, I agree, formula is bad, except when you have to pay the bills and feed the baby and quit worrying and love the bomb.
But I think the point with Dumas is that when you see the work all at the same time you realize what her formula is - and i don't think for an instant that people don't have formulas.
In fact if you look at famous "total improvisers" in Jazz, they follow pattersn - just like people who speak in toungues - there is a method to the madness, as Shakespeare would say (whoever he was).
Ten billion monkeys will have their say.
But I'm more concerned with Dumas as a painter of "dark" (Joy Garnett) and not "dreary" (Jerry Saltz) because if that's what it is, then I'll point you to a zillion graphic novels worthy of that appelation or label or whatever. But I am weary.
Like Raymond Pettibon (who would be a good part of the upcoming show I will curate entitled "The Darkness" (It's only a feeling)
Including that table in the shape of the Black Flag logo I saw (great design but pretty dumb as art)
Raymond likes dog fighting, supposedly. Like that adds anything to his "punk" ouvre. Are we to infer that not driving makes Dumas a sort of steampunk Victorian? I don't think so, it just means she doesn't drive. And being fom SOuth Africa - well look at William Kentridge - he's nothing special - but he gets tons of art press.
Well, we know why. But I;m just calling it like I see it, which is that there is a good deal of branding going on, regardless of the skill of the artist.
Mostly you will sea change when people get older and the market for younger artists matures - the focus on fresh young things is just one current. - 1/19/2009 3:39 PM
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
"but really, if you can't decide who you let in on facebook..."
Let me give one specific example and maybe that will clarify what I am trying to say. Someone you used to know in high school sends you an ADD AS FRIEND message. You agree to it because many years ago you were friends with them in high school. You have not seen them for a very long time. After you confirm them they say hi and ask you what you have been up to. You give them a brief description of what your life is like. Then you don't hear back from them again. There they are, still lined up in the friends list, but you feel like deleting them. You feel judged big time. Obviously I can just delete them, but still...If you need to promote yourself or your band Facebook is just swell. If you are like me, it is as good as useless.
Oh yeah back to Dumas. I have never seen a single work by Marlene Dumas. There. That is my review. You say potato and I say potato. One person might hate Dumas' this or that and another person might love her this and that. She is tremendously successful so people will focus on her and have opinions about her. The same goes for any successful artist. But I say bring on the sour grapes. I love them.
I enjoyed Kentridge's films when I saw them years ago and that is why I wrote a positive review of them. But I ain't his fucking muse and I certainly wasn't trying to bolster the Kentridge brand when I wrote the review. I was stoned when I saw the films and weird shit goes on in them.
I dare any artist to achieve success and then create a body of work that will not be attacked/lauded by a bunch of artists and critics. As soon as you have success you become disliked/liked by certain segments of the art world. It is gang warfare out there motherfucker.
As soon as zip becomes associated with a specific body of work, all of his writings will be judged differently. Oh he's saying that because he makes that kind of art.
No one wants to become an art world "New Coke". If you have a recognizable style and then you try to do something that disrupts the stylistic pattern you will either bellyflop or be heralded as a risk taker. Either way there will be ups and downs in a career, if there is a career that is, and many artists do not recover from the downs. Remember many of the artists who appeared in the glossies in previous decades have been completely forgotten. So lets not waste too much time on the successful artists. There is art to be made. - 1/19/2009 9:23 PM
- zipthwung said...
Facebook is like an extrovert's heaven or an introvert's window into extroversion.
Facebook isn't helping me - in fact I think it's making me seem like a Fakebooker - not really my style - all that surface, none of the depth -although the distancing is good, because I hate dealing with people without mediation, often.
The Dumas effect is mediated. How many fans does she have, really?
What I've seen of Dumas hasn't made me run to the museum to see what all the fuss is about. I'd go for a Cat Woman comic book first.
I feel duty bound to go see the show, but then again I've been shirking that duty, and it feels good.
Let her audience be the authority, I'll cede the power. Dumas? Oh you like her? Yeah, I was never that into her. No, I havent seen her show. Oh yeah, i should go. No, I'm pretty busy. I'll go if you go though, I'm into you. I don't know her.
No love.
When you look at the quality of the work on paintersnyc, for example, as compared to a survey of everything else, PNYC holds up pretty well.
Should I spend 20 bucks or a free day on a show I'm not into purely for reasons of authority? Money? Buzz? Age?
Cheap thrills. Go for the building.
My beef is more metaphysical - what's the point, what's it all about, if it's just a mood ring then leave art out of it.
Unless art is all about mood to you - then you are communicating mood I suppose - which is where I'm at with Dumas. Her tone, or tenor.
Because intellectually there isn't anything for me that I don't bring myself. And I don't think it's catalytic or pregnant or evocative or posessing of something I don't get more of (if hamfistedly) in a movie or photograph or a death metal song or a walk in the woods).
How else can I say it?
If it's self expression (as Dumas is) then what's your damage, and shouldn't you do something about it, or maybe you can't but try being self aware. Show some change, even if you are faking it.
Is Dumas self aware? Probably. But if you let your audience in on it, then you are destroying the illusion, and also, the cachet.
No money exchanges hands.
Which is to say marketing is important - and as an artist you have to be sensitive (like Obama) to the needs of the audience, which are pathological.
In the end I see Dumas as a wan attenuated shadow of a serial killer, an "American Psycho" for the conservative - a but heavier than Robert Longo, a but lighter than the corpse fuckers who never will be recognized as art by anyone. - 1/20/2009 4:47 PM
- Anonymous said...
I find the "creepiness"ofDumas' work very obvious,almost silly,adolescent.It aint terrible.But it's just too easy to get areaction from sensational stuff like this.
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
"a but heavier than Robert Longo, a but lighter than the corpse fuckers who never will be recognized as art by anyone."
Can you give a specific example of who you are referring to when you use the term 'corpse fuckers'? - 1/20/2009 7:03 PM
- Martin said...
David Cohen wrote a fairly positive review of the Dumas show also. What is John Haber talking about when he says the NY critics have uniformly hated this show?
- Anonymous said...
I'm very comfortable with Dumas' expression, having seen it for the first time at MoMA. I'm in her age range, and the "darkness" in her work is very familiar to me, born at the end of a repressive age for women, and is probably also informed by the atmosphere of racism and violence in South Africa when she was young (assuming she grew up in South Africa). The darkness is sweet to me because I recognize it, and it gives me a kind of low keyed, but feeling joy to see it. I admire the painting's succinctness and don't find it lacking. I wonder if part of the problem some have with her work is, an obvious one--the role reversal with power. The work has power, but given through the eyes of a "disempowered," psyche, or psychological model. That is, powerful, succinct work, that's dark, and shows the "other side." Also, having lost both my parents, I found the death figures very moving--as the dead live with us, even in death.
- zipthwung said...
"Shimmel covers his immense subject with a certain arbitrariness and a definite Expressionist bias that yields much in the way of naked bodies (mostly female), bodily fluids and several incidents of complete tastelessness (the most extreme of which is an undocumented performance said to involve sex with a cadaver)."
Roberta Smith
There's a book titled transgressive something or other I think that names names. I can't find it though.
People die. It's a fact. But people move away too - I don't see a difference between death and absence sometimes. A death in the family is hard to take but it happens to everyone.
In the same way, lots of people grow up without much TV in provincial backwaters and then move to the city - if anything Dumas is a kind of cultural cliche.
The human condition.
The legal issues are probably interesting with regards to Dumas - namely that depictions of necrophillia -(art) are now illegal in many countries.
Just a hunch.
Subject matter is weird - does Dumas translate?
Having lost a parent, I find movies resonant - any movie where the dead come to life, or haunt and possess you. "The Shining," for example.
Great shower scene.
Movies about plagues are cathartic - the 28 months later movie included a scene where the wife comes back - the ambiguity involved with guilt (abandonment) is probably art, even if the rest of the movie is dumb mindless violence (which is good too - especially the first scene, which is in the top 10 for atavistic thrills).
If it's not in the work I don't see it - I'm so objective, sometimes all I see are splatters of red on white tile. I know, it's tough, but someone has to be on point when other people are grazing at the trough, eyes down.
I'm not privileging this point of view - you go ahead and include biography in your analysis of the work. For me there is only the here and the now.
From my perspective, South Africa is a place that mints gold coins called Krugerands, and when the economy collapses, I hope you have some of those to buy paint with to commit the times to paint. Because they will be dark, but again, I will only see shapes and colors.
As far as the corpse fucking thing goes - is transgression good art?
What isn't art?
I'll find the names of the people that claimed necrophillia as their art if you want - but there are plenty of examples of "outsiders" who derived esthetic pleasure from playing with dead bodies - people who never read Bataille or Genet (like me). - 1/21/2009 5:02 AM
- Neanderthals Destroyed Atlantis said...
Thanks for clearing things up zip. FPSs rule!
- Anonymous said...
i mean jerry's right, did anyone see this show? i saw at MoCA in LA and it was pretty boring especially when the adjacent Kippenberger show went up, while nice to see a bunch at once there really is little original in the work. here's a question i've never read the author of this blog answer, what do you find original in her work?
- Anonymous said...
Hey, anonymous, I saw the show and said so in my post. Regards . . .
- Anonymous said...
I wonder if part of the problem some have with her work is, an obvious one--the role reversal with power.
Touche, Elizabeth. You said it. People are uncomfortable because she's very much at ease with her skills and power, almost careless with it. And plenty of men have that subtle bravado and are cheered for it.
And as to the question of "originality" - that is so tired. Stop expecting the woman artist to reinvent the wheel. If the men can lift from art history and contemporaries and be "informed" by this artist and that movement, so can she. - 1/25/2009 11:55 AM
- zipthwung said...
I'm intrigued by the idea that anyone who is critical od Dumas is somehow uncomfortable, threatened or otherwise discombobulated by the dumas affect.
"People are uncomfortable"
Could you elaborate on this?
I have a feeling that this is wishfull thinking sometimes - that somehow the critic is not objective because they have some kind of hang-up.
If you think about it, the critic of the critic might have a hang up - and so on.
Only disconnect?
How do you respond to my criticism that Dumas is no different (and no less valuable) than a good graphic novel - The Watchmen or The Sandman?
Wat does it say about or culture when something is valued merely because it is large and on a wall in a gallery?
The power of placement.
And secondly, but more interesting to me, the question of originality - a very pregnant question, to be sure.
I don;t think anyone can take it seriously at this late date.
By way of example, hyperbolic claims are made every day as to the influence of artists. I just read that Thomas Nozkowski and Mary Heilman are "some of the most influential painters today" - which if true, must mean I haven't been looking at all, and that the painters I know are not in the loop.
Could it be that the last month has brough about an explosion of derivative works, budded from the stalk of these giants?
Why do we need to market artists based on their "influence"?
How shallow is that?
Status seekers beware, I have a very shrp knife for your bubble. - 1/25/2009 2:59 PM
- zipthwung said...
I mean I level the same criticisms at male artists - so am I sexist or merely misanthropic?
WHat is acceptible criticism of Dumas that is not sexist, and objective?
WHat does she do that is available for criticsim, or is she above reproach?
If criticism is not necessary, then maybe museums are not necessary.
If museums are not necessary, then maybe e should go back to regionalism, supporting homegrown artists, and celebrating differences rather than pretending international translations of some soft of myth of cosmopolitanism.
Indeed, maybe we should stop judging and simply let people do what they want, without priviledging foreign exotics and novelty acts over the familiar and homegrown.
let a thousand provincials bloom! - 1/25/2009 3:10 PM
- Anonymous said...
I think Dumas is only the 6th woman to be given a retrospective at Moma...
I felt impressed with her skills, like someone said, washy restraint aint easy. I felt her strongest pieces were on paper and I was kind of blown away with the effects she achieves with watercolor. The faces of Jesus, the vertical nudes and those canvases of the girl in a towel were some of the best. The girl in a towel felt so vulnerable, a good match for how thinly it was painted.
I'm in awe of facebook... - 1/31/2009 2:35 PM
- Alida Snyman said...
I simply cannot believe you guys!!! Are you morbidly unhappy about the way your lives turned out? Why get all personal about somebody's art...Can anyone of you sneery "critics" really paint 2 decent strokes on cavass? I doubt it. Did you go to CRITICS UNIVERSITY where you obviously failed in Ethics? Or are you merely a bunch of wannabe painters to never made it and now HAS TO TAKE IT OUT ON THE SUCCESSFUL ONES.
Marlene was at Bloemhof Girl's High School with me in South Africa. What a talented, beautiful free sprit she was!!! Kind-hearted, sweet and adored by EVERY-ONE...Quite an achievement in an all-girl-environment where witches are breeded. Even our late headmistress "Laaiza" adored her. Together with her sister, Annatjie, the two of them always had a soft word for someone in need of comforting.
Can you guys not for once try to find something good to say about her? I see this as professional jealousy...Maybe the astronomic prices for her art reached at Christie's has something to do with it...Does it? Just remember, she does not bid on her own paintings.
In South Africa most people are brought up with good values, one of which was instilled by my parents: If you can not find ANYTHING good / nice to say about someone, rather say NOTHING AT ALL!
Alida Snyman (Louw) Bloemhof 1969 to 1973.
Personal note to Marlenetjie: "YOU GO GIRL!!! You REALLY make us proud!" - 2/22/2010 1:45 AM
- Anonymous said...
Marlene Dumas is giggling in her studio reading these inane posts while she continues making paintings. Dumas has taken the dirty corners of shadows in dutch paintings and the leftover colors on your palette to create images that would make Goya jealous. She is a master, I can't think of another living painter I think about on a daily basis.


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Death Valley Name synonymous with Clemson Memorial Stadium. The Stadium was dubbed this affectionate title by the late Lonnie McMillian, a former coach at Presbyterian. He used to take his teams to play at Clemson, and they rarely scored, never mind gained a victory. Once he told the writers he was going to play Clemson up at Death Valley because his teams always got killed. It stuck somewhat, but when Frank Howard start calling it that in the fifties, the term really caught on. It is now in its 54th year.
Many people think the name is derived from the fact that there rests a cemetary outside the fence on the press box site of the stadium. But, although it would make sense, the name was first coined by Lonnie McMillian.
First Friday ParadeThe Clemson football season kicks off each year with the annual First Friday Parade. The once a year event takes place on the Friday afternoon prior to the first home football game. Floats from various fraternities and sororities and other campus organizations are represented in the parade that rolls down main street in Clemson. The parade culminates at the Amphitheater in the middle of campus where the first Pep Rally of the year takes place.
The Grand Marshall of the Parade is featured at the Pep Rally. Recent Grand Marshall's have ranged from current PGA professional Dillard Pruitt, to College Football Hall of Fame legends Jess Neely and Frank Howard, to noted television announcers Brent Musburger and Ara Parseghian.
HomecomingClemson holds a classic homecoming every year. Displays by fraternities, sororities, and other student organizations that are months in the making, are built on Bowman Field the week prior to the Homecoming Weekend. It is an event that draws alumni and friends of Clemson from all over the country.
The Friday evening prior to the game , Tigerama is held in Death Valley, an event that attracts over 35,000 fans. The Homecoming Queen and her court are presented in addition to Homecoming skits, a pep rally and a large and loud fireworks display.
The first homecoming game played at Clemson took place on September 30, 1922 when Clemson met Centre. There is no record of a homecoming game in 1930 or 1938, but the event has been held in conjunction with a football game every year since 1939, even through the war years. Clemson has a 58-19-3 overall on homecoming games, a .743 winning percentage. Clemson has been especially successful on Homecoming in recent years, posting a 28-3-2 record since 1971.
Howard's RockWhen the Clemson team gathers to Run Down the Hill the players rub Howard's Rock because of the mystical powers it is supposed to give Clemson players.
The rock is mounted on a pedestal at the top of the hill and was given to Coach Frank Howard by a friend (S.C. Jones' 19) who picked it up in Death Valley, CA.
The Rock was first placed on the pedestal at the top of the hill on September 24, 1966, a game Clemson won 40-35 over Virginia.
The team started rubbing the rock for the first game of 1967, a 23-6 win over Wake Forest on September 23, 1967.
Running Down the HillWhat has been described as, "the most exciting 25 seconds in college football from a color and pageantry standpoint," actually started out as a matter-of-fact entrance, mainly because of necessity.
The first 20,000 seats in Clemson Memorial Stadium were built and ready for use before the 1942 season. The shortest entry into the stadium was a walk down Williamson Road from Fike Field House's dressing rooms to a gate at the top of the hill behind the east end zone. There were no dressing facilities in the west end zone-only a big clock where the hands turned, and a scoreboard, which was operated by hand.
The team would dress at Fike, walk down Williamson Road, come in the gate underneath where the big scoreboard now stands and jog down the hill for its warm-up exercises. There was no fanfare, no cannon shot fired, no tiger paw flag, no Tiger Rag played…just the team making its entrance and lining up to do the side straddle hop.
That's pretty much the way things went for the next 25 years. Either in 1964 or 1965, S.C. Jones, a member of the Clemson class of 1919, made a trip to California. He stopped at a spot in Death Valley, CA, and picked up this white flint rock. He presented it to Coach Frank Howard as being from Death Valley, CA, to Death Valley, South Carolina."
The rock laid on the floor in Howard's office in Fike for a year or more. One day Howard was cleaning up his office and he told Gene Willimon, who was the executive secretary of IPTAY, to, "take this rock and throw it over the fence, or out in the ditch…do something with it, but get it out of my office."
Willimon didn't think that was the way a rock should be treated. Afterall, it had been brought 3000 miles by a very sincere Tiger fan. By the mid-sixties, Memorial Stadium was pretty well living up to its moniker, Death Valley, because of the number of victories that had been recorded there. Actually, the name was first used by the late Lonnie McMillian, head coach at Presbyterian College in Clinton in the 1940s.
McMillian and the other Blue Hose coaches before him used to open the season each year by coming to Clemson. Seldom scoring (24 shutouts in 39 games) and with only three wins and four ties to show for it, his teams were getting killed by the Tigers regularly. In 1948 McMillian made the comment to the press that he was taking his team to play Clemson in Death Valley.
An occasional reference to Memorial stadium by that name could be heard for the next three or four years, but when Howard started calling it 'Death Valley' in the 1950's, the name took off like wildfire. The Tigers celebrated the 50th season in the 'valley' in 1991.
But getting back to Howard's rock. The rock was mounted on a pedestal at the top of the hill. It was unveiled September 24, 1966, on a day when Clemson played Virginia. The Tigers were down 18 points with 17 minutes to play and came back to win (40-35) on a 65-yard pass play from Jimmy Addison to Jacky Jackson in the fourth period. That was quite a spectacular debut for that rock.
The team members started rubbing the rock prior to running down the hill September 23, 1967, a day when Clemson defeated Wake Forest, 23-6. Prior to running down the hill that day, Howard told his players: "If you're going to give me 110 percent, you can rub that rock. If you're not, keep your filthy hands off it." Howard told of the incident the next day on his Sunday television show and and the story became legend.
When Hootie Ingram succeeded Howard as head coach prior to the 1970 season, Ingram decided that the team would make its final entrance on the field out of the dressing room in the west end zone. In all home games in 1970 and 1971 and the first four of 1972 when the Tigers did not run down the hill, their record was 6-9. The team decided it wanted to come down the hill once prior to the South Carolina game in 1972. The result, in a cold, freezing rain, was a 7-6 victory when Jimmy Williamson knocked down a two-point conversion attempt which preserved the win.
The Tigers have made the entrance for every home game since 1942, except for the seasons mentioned above – 320 times heading into the 2007 season.
After Clemson's final warm-up, the team goes back into its dressing room under the west end zone stands for final game instructions. About 10 minutes before kickoff the team boards two buses, rides around behind the north stands to the east end zone and debarks to the top of the hill behind Howard's Rock.
At the appointed time, the cannon booms and led by a high-flying tiger paw flag, the band forms two lines for the team to run between and strikes up 'Tiger Rag'…The frenzy starts in all sincerity…and usually lasts two and a half to three hours.
It is a tradition that has inspired Clemson players for many years.
February 19, 2024


text: UFA, Russia Jake McCabe and John Gaudreau scored two goals each Thursday to lead the United States to the final of the world junior hockey championships with a 5-1 win over Canada. McCabe put his team ahead with a pair of identical goals, scoring through goalmouth scrambles in the first period. It feels awesome, especially in such an emotional game against Canada, McCabe said. Im so proud of my team. This was the best game of the tournament for us. In the final, the Americans will face defending champion Sweden. The Swedes beat Russia 3-2 in a penalty shootout, with Sebastian Collberg scoring the winner. Gaudreau made it 3-0 for the Americans, beating Malcolm Subban with a low shot on a sharp counter attack at 22:58. Subban was substituted for Jordan Binnington after stopping 12 of 16 shots, and Jim Vesey extended the lead to four 10 minutes later. Ty Rattie scored one for Canada with a short-handed goal at 44:03, but Gaudreau scored on another sharp attack with 4:19 to play. United States goalie John Gibson made 33 saves for the victory. The defense played really well, which made my job a lot easier, said Gibson, who made three tough saves when his team was a man down after Ratties goal. If it wasnt for them, we probably wouldnt be here. The Americans finished third in their group at 2-2 in the preliminary round and routed the Czech Republic 7-0 in the quarterfinals on Wednesday. Canada didnt lose a game in the preliminary round and had a quarterfinal bye. Elias Lindholm and Filip Forsberg scored in the late game as Sweden dominated the first period, but Russia pulled one goal back midway through the second period and Mikhail Grigorenko tied it at 47:56. Neither team scored in overtime before Collberg turned out to be the lone scorer in the penalty shootout. Niklas Lundstrom made 27 saves for the victory. Andrei Vasilevski stopped 38 shots for Russia. Slovakia beat Latvia 5-3 in a relegation-round match.


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While it's often some kind of salted caramel bacon topped ridiculousness, It can be something as easy and approachable as this sexy strawberry goat cheese bruschetta. The way the tangy, slightly salty goat cheese works with the syrupy, balsamic-coated strawberries and crispy, charred bread is a thing of beauty.
By the way, I've got great news if you stink at picking out sweet strawberries. Because we are using a balsamic reduction, this dish actually works very nicely with less-than-perfect berries.
olive oil, as needed


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STAGE ONE: The Body Art Phase
This involves using anything (i.e. yogurt, marker, diaper cream) as your medium and your body as the canvas.
STAGE TWO: The Spaghetti Phase
This involves random scribbling and can take place on paper or walls or furniture.
The child draws people that basically look like potatoes with arms and legs coming out of the body. Eyes and a mouth are added at this time.
STAGE FOUR: The Stick Figure Phase
Now people have distinctly separate heads and bodies. Hair (sometimes really, really long hair), noses, fingers, and shoes are added. Girls may add, rainbows, stars, and hearts to their drawings at this time. Boys may add cartoon characters, blood and guts, or cars to their drawings at this time.
STAGE FIVE: The Macaroni Phase
This is where macaroni, sometimes colored, sometimes plain, is glued to various pieces of construction paper. If you're extra lucky, you'll get a necklace made of macaroni for Mother's Day. If you're not so lucky, yours will be the kid who likes to eat the glued macaroni off the page.
STAGE SIX: The Book Phase
At this stage, your child is excited that they're learning to read and write and they must make everything into a book. This is the second page in the famous book, The Friendly Ghost written by my son. This is where you have to really stretch your literacy skills and learn to read "kindergartenese". This says, " The ghost plays with his friends like the mummy."
STAGE SEVEN: The Picasso Stage
The pictures and color choices don't make a lot of sense, but they sure are fun to look at.
STAGE EIGHT: The Almost Realistic Portrait Phase
Here, the child starts getting some realistic elements into their drawings. This is a picture my daughter drew of me after I had collagen lip augmentation.
Here's something from the Pokemon Phase my son went through.
Here's something from the Star Wars Phase my son went through. Again, note the realism.
STAGE NINE: The Three Dimensional Phase
Here is a candle holder made for me by my daughter.
Here is vessel made by my son. It's perfect for holding cookies, pencils, or organs from mummified people.
There you have it. Art from one to twelve.