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A naughty girl who is with a guy would like to spend the night with some swingers on Thomas
First name: Roselande, Age: 38 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
Hello everyone, We are a swingers couple, my name is Roselande and I am 38 years old and my husband 42 years. We live in Thomas. We love a lot of things about libertinism. We're fans of group sex and particularly voyeurism. We indeed enjoy having sex in a car parked in a public place. You can meet me in a public place. We can free ourselves in the evening for this libertine rendezvous on Thomas. We just want a hot guy for some candaulism. Age is not a requirement, however a good feeling is always essential to enjoy ourselves together. Please let us know if you would like this trio. We hope to hear from you. Thank you.
Looking for sex in Thomas for a beautiful woman in a relationship
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Olympie, Age: 32 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
I am a woman in a relationship, my name is Olympie and I'm 32 years old and my partner is 30. We are free spirits. We are oriented towards sadomasochism. The best for me is when I am handcuffed so that my man can ogle me while you fuck me and I will have a blast. We are available in the late afternoon. We don't mind travelling, or if you prefer we can meet at our place. We want a man of the same age for this sex meeting. As a horny girl, I need a good fuck to get orgasms together. Now, we hope to see your most libertine proposals. I hope to read your comments. Kisses! See you later.
My very open-minded girlfriend is looking for a casual hookup on Thomas
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Muriele, Age: 30 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
We enjoy spending evenings in libertine clubs on Thomas in order to meet new couples. It's mostly for me because I'm greedy with the gentlemen and I have no taboos. We're looking for a respectful guy or couple for this fuck session because we want to fuck as much as possible!!! Mr. should preferably be athletic, sorry but that's my little fantasy at the moment. We can have a date at our apartment but if you want we can move to Thomas and its surroundings. We're available for this threesome mostly during the week. Please contact us if you would like to have this threesome sex. We want to read your comments. Thank you.
Cougar woman on Thomas available for a sex meet-up with a young guy without any taboos
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Cypriane, Age: 49 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
I love getting naughty with a little rascal and guiding him so that I can orgasm. I'm a libertine to make you hard. I'm also quite the expert on lollipops. But I want a macho guy for this sex date. I am attracted to gentlemen who are rather charming. I also want a man with a big penis because otherwise I don't feel anything. I just want to enjoy myself like never before. I would like to meet you at your place as I need to be discreet. I'm also free on Saturday for this adulterous appointment. I will read your messages carefully. I can't wait for our first meeting, it's always so aphrodisiacal to me... Kisses.
Looking for a threesome in Thomas for my slutty girlfriend
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Yvelyne, Age: 36 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
We are free in the evening to see you. You can have fun at your place. We want a guy or couple who is good in bed for this fuck because we just want to fuck without any hassle!!! Mr. will preferably be tall, sorry but it's my little whim lately. We are amateurs of candaulism. I am a very naughty woman, I like to have sex with several pigs including my husband. If you like our naughty ad, please contact us. We are very excited to be on this libertine dating site. Great job!
My darling in need of fuck for cuddling on Thomas
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Izzy, Age: 39 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
Since we work a lot, we would like to meet you on Saturday and if possible at our place or in a libertine club nearby Thomas. We are a pretty hot couple who loves trying out new things. We mainly love exhibitionism and voyeurism in a swingers club with other kinky people. For this rendezvous, we would prefer a kinky guy or couple without any taboos because we want to fuck without any hassle!!! Mr. will have to be a little bit muscular, sorry but that's my whim these days. So, we're waiting for your proposals for this evening of sex. I hope to see you on Thomas! Big kisses! See you later.
Looking for a libertine Thomas for a married and slutty woman
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Gervine, Age: 19 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
Hi everyone, We are a naughty couple, my name is Gervine and I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend is 19 years old. We are in Thomas. I'm looking for a friendly and open-minded man who will make me come with my boyfriend because I am a dirty woman who loves having 2 cocks for herself. We are available on Friday to meet with you. You can fuck in the open air. I am an amateur of candaulism because I like to sleep with another naughty person but only under the gaze of my husband. I'm extremely naughty when I get down and dirty, and I especially love it when someone licks me all over. To contact us, you need to send a message. We only want sex between kinky people.
Looking for a hot time in the Thomas parking lot? Let me know!
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Giselle, Age: 32 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
Welcome everyone, my name is Giselle and I'm just 32 years old. I'm very naughty, and in reality it seems, according to my former boyfriends, that I would be a real nympho! Haha I am new to libertinage, so I need a good fuck who knows how to do it. In this libertine plan, I want to let myself be directed and be your thing so that you have fun with me and have a maximum of pleasure. I really enjoy displaying myself in the forest and having my picture taken. However, what really turns me on are the unexpected spanks in public places (garages, toilets, etc.), it's up to you to be creative in the streets of Thomas. For this sex plan, I am available on weekends. I would like to suggest a first date in a public place so we can get to know each other. If you would like to get to know me better, please contact me. I hope I was clear and that you can charm me. See you soon.
Looking for a woman in Thomas who is married and enjoys being spoilt
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Lorence, Age: 18 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
I'm a really hot girl when I'm with the guys. What I love is being with 2 naughty men because it turns me on to have two cocks for myself and my husband gets off watching me cum. We prefer to have a meeting at our place but if you want we can move around Thomas and its surroundings. We are free for this future trio, especially on Saturdays. Age is not important, but a good feeling is crucial to enjoy our company. We only want a liberated guy for côte-à-coteism. We'll be playing together soon. See you soon.
A woman with a guy on Thomas for a night of fucking
Heather Thomas Topless
First name: Metisse, Age: 46 yo, City: Thomas (OK)
I am a woman who is in a civil partnership, my name Metisse and I am 46 years old and my husband is 45 years old. We are without taboos. We are a very passionate couple who loves to try new things. We especially love exhibitionism and watching couples fuck in public with other people around. I'm looking for a nice, liberated guy who will make me feel good with my man because I am a naughty girl who loves having 2 cocks for herself. We are available at the end of the day to invite you. You can meet up at a swingers club. Now that you know what I want, you can leave me a comment. I'm sure I'll have a good time in your company. I'm leaving. Big kisses.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Lage Raho Munnabhai – a film review
If you seen and liked the old Munnabhai MBBS, then you'll like Vidhu Vinod Chopra's new version. I say version because it's not really a continuation of the first, not a sequel nor a prequel. Although the two main characters Munna (Sanjay Dutt) and Circuit (Arshad Warsi) remain the bhai's they were, the rest of the characters are brand new. Boman Irani, who is repeated in this movie, plays Lucky the Sardarji, an entirely different character. And there is no mention of Munna's adventures in the first movie…
Bole to, Lage Rao is funny, simple to understand and meant for the masses and for people like me! The humour has nothing high brow about it, but I have to confess that it made me smile, grin, giggle and laugh out loud. The humour is situational, in the dialogues, and ofcourse – in the dialogue delivery.
Like Munnabhai number 1, Munnabhai number 2 has an undertone of seriousness, a kind of preachy tone. It goes down one's throat only because it comes wrapped up in comedy. If the first movie was about love and compassion, this one is about non-violence. A comedy with lessons on non-violence? Gandhian principles? Patriotism? Yeah. You might even find your skin prickle when you hear the Vande Mataram song. And you might find yourself wondering why the ideals of Mahatma Gandhi have been forgotton in today's modern times.
The story is slightly corny, but never mind. That's exactly why it's funny, the comedy lying in the ridiculousness of the situations that Munna finds himself in.
Our Munna comes on the screen as an ardent lover of a girl called Jahnavi (Vidya Balan) a radio veejay (hints of Salaam Namaste). He has fallen in love with her voice and to impress her he has to pretend to be Murli the Professor. Therein start a series of hilarious adventures, one which reminds you faintly of a college scene in Munnabhai Number One.
There are dark undercurrents. Lucky the rich and bad builder (Boman Irani), has hired Munna and his goondas to get a house vacated…and as the fates would have it, this is the very house where Munna's Jahnavi lives. And hear this – she lives in it with her old father who has turned it into a mini old age home! Some heart-wrenching scenes here, but no time to cry as the movie tears on ahead at a decent clip, thanks to the decent editing.
Munna now has a very sticky situation on his hands, and there is also a lurking fear that Jahnavi will find out that he's just a common goonda. Guess who comes to his aid? Hold your breath – it's Gandhiji! Hints of the supernatural here.
The music – pal, pal, pal– is a haunting tune, and it sort of reminds me of an old English song I heard long ago. Ofcourse I could be wrong, because I cannot remember which song exactly… the Hai re Hai Munnabhai song is not bad either.
All in all a well edited film, a very good first half, and good acting from all the four main characters – Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi , Boman Irani and Vidya Balan. Vidya Balan doesn't have much of a chance to demonstrate her talent, like she had in Parineeta. It's Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi and Boman Irani who dominate the movie. And it's Arshad Warsi who takes the cake! His expressions, antics and dialogue delivery are liable to give you a stitch in the stomach.
So if you want some time-pass, then Lage Rao is the movie to go to. At the worst, you might ridicule it or wonder at yourself for enjoying it, but one thing you won't do, and that's go home with a head-ache.
November 5, 2006 1:32 am
> The music pal, pal, pal is a haunting tune, and it sort of reminds me of an old English song I heard long ago.
You mean this one?
November 5, 2006 4:02 pm
Hmm… I just looked at your profile, and realised you're someone I knew quite well six years ago. 🙂
November 5, 2006 11:39 pm
Tsk, tsk – and I remember you *so* well. I sat right beside you at ET for a while in 2000-2001!


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Search engines use the meta title tags to determine the topic of your webpage content. These title tags are the text that the search engine users see as the title of your webpages.
Meta title tags are usually the first thing that search engine users see in the search engine results. The users often decide in a fraction of a second whether to click on your link or not. Therefore, it is of utmost importance that a good meta title tag captures the essence of your webpage content. A good title tag, with the right keywords, can increase the relevance of your content to different search queries and hence, improve your page ranking.
However, the title tags should not be misleading in nature. Otherwise, it will seriously bring down your click-through rates, which negatively affects your page ranking.
High Priority
Pool Builders Auckland NZ | Custom Concrete Swimming Pools Designs & Installation
Meta Descriptions provide a concise summary of your webpage content to the search engine users. Meta descriptions appear right below the clickable links in the search engine results, which are meta title tags, by the way.
Search engines have stopped directly using meta descriptions in their rankings. But, most of the search engine users glance at the meta description content before they click on the links. Therefore, they continue to be relevant and useful. A good description is not too long, because search engines only display meta descriptions up to a certain word limit on the results page. Also, the text in them should be designed for the readers and not for the search engines.
If your readers find relevant content in meta descriptions, more of them will click on your link in the results page, which improves your relevance for the respective search keywords. Also, if your meta descriptions are on point, then your click-through rate will also improve. Therefore, meta descriptions continue to be relevant indirectly for your search engine rankings.
High Priority
Precision Pools is a licenced swimming pool designer and builders firm based in Auckland NZ. We expertise in custom concrete inground pools designs and installations.
Headings are meta tags that give structure to your webpage. The headings range from H1 to H6. H1 is the main heading of your webpage, which is usually the title. Then, H2 is the subheading, H3 is sub-subheading, and so it goes.
Headings help the search engines easily understand the main topics of your post, which is essential when you have posts longer than 1000 words. In the age of HTML5, the headings have relatively lost their earlier dominance, but they still continue to be important for page rankings. Optimal use of relevant keywords in the headings is known to improve search engine rankings significantly.
High Priority
Heading type <H1> is considered the most important part of the web page.
Luxury Swimming Pool Builders Auckland NZ
Heading type <H2> is second most significant part in SEO header tags. You can use it to add visual weight to sub-headings.
About us
Custom Concrete Pools Designs & Installation Auckland
Designer Ingrounds Pools and Infinity Edge Pools Builders in New Zealand
Get in touch
Heading type <H3> is a good choice for "Quick Links", "Useful Links" or other relevant resources of text.Not found, need to improve!
Heading type <H4> is the fourth pillar in Heading Hierarchy and can be used for detailing and making bullet points.
On site consultation
Free quotes
Pool planning
Custom designs
Concrete pool
New pools and pool renovations
Lap pools
Infinity pools
Rock pools
Spa pools
Heading type <H5> can also be used to mark bullet points, lists or checklists.Not found, need to improve!
Heading type <H6> is the tiny of all heading tags. It is used for text that is granule in appearance. Like a little note or p.s at the end of content.Not found, need to improve!
Precision Pools is a licenced swimming pool designer and builders firm based in Auckland NZ. We expertise in custom concrete inground pools designs and installations.
This section helps you discover what your visitors are looking for when they found your website. It lists the keywords used by your visitors on search engines when they found your website. The significance of this is that Google thinks that these are the keywords that are most relevant to the content on your website.
Google's algorithms are smart enough to eventually improve the relevance of different keywords for your website. But, it is a slow process. To save precious time, you can get rid of or minimize the usage of such irrelevant keywords on your webpages. Also, use more relevant keywords, which your visitors can use to find you. As your keyword relevance increases, so does your page ranking.
High Priority
Your website may contain a few pages, a few hundred pages, or thousands of them. It is important that all the customer-facing pages are indexed by the major search engines. Search engine users will be able to find your webpages only if they are indexed. After going through all the efforts of creating webpages, and performing on-page optimizations, if the search engine users cannot find your webpages, what's the point of it?
The Indexed Pages section gives you a legend of the total number of webpages indexed by the major search engines. To ensure that you reach maximum audience, make sure that the search engines have indexed all the webpages that you want your audience to see. This has other benefits as well. Search engines think that as the wealth of content on any subject increases on your website, you are a good authority on the respective topic. With more pages indexed, you are perceived to be a stronger authority on the topic by search engines. Your website's subject authority is one of the most important metrics used by search engines to decide your page rankings.
High Priority
Sitemap, as the name indicates, is a map of your website. You create a single XML file, which captures the complete structure of your website – lists URLs to all of your website's pages, displays the links between them, and even shares meta data of your webpages with the search engines. This makes it extremely easy for the search engines to crawl your website entirely.
Sitemap is one of the most useful and powerful tools for your website. Its benefits are many. For instance, search engines may not be able to find some of your webpages, because they are not linked to other pages on your website. A sitemap helps the search engines index such pages too. Sitemap shares meta data such as the type of content located at some links (video, audio, etc.), the age appropriateness of such content, and a lot more. Also, if you make any changes to your website like add new pages, delete some pages, and so on, search engines can easily discover this using sitemaps, which makes the indexing process faster.
The importance of sitemaps is utmost for large websites with many webpages, new websites that have few backlinks, websites that feature lots of rich content like media, and websites that are not structured properly. In all of these cases, properly designed sitemaps make sure that search engines can index your pages as easily as possible. After all, your webpages will appear in the search results and be ranked by the search engines only if they are indexed.
High Priority
The Robots section is for the exact opposite purpose of the Sitemap section. Your Robots.txt file is a text file that tells the search engines which webpages should not be indexed. It should be noted that this file does not force the search engines from indexing your webpages, but merely inform them. Search engines can simply dismiss the instructions from Robots.txt. In other words, although most search engines listen to the instructions from Robots.txt, they are not bound by it.
Robots.txt is one way of ensuring that your website's sensitive content does not appear in the search engine results. However, the only effective way of ensuring complete security of your sensitive content is to avoid putting it on the website.
That being said, there are times when you may need to use Robots.txt. One such instance is when you have created new pages for an upcoming event or a product launch and those webpages need to go live only after a specific date. You can use Robots.txt in such cases to prevent search engines from indexing your pages until that date arrives. Another instance is when your server bandwidth is low, and you do not wish to choke it with crawling. In such cases, you can use Robots.txt to prevent the search engines from indexing heavy images, videos, and other huge files for the time being.
High Priority
In the Blocking Factor section, you can see different factors that are adding overhead on your website loading. In other words, you can check what is affecting the loading speed of your website in the Blocking Factor section. Typically, the use of flash, frames or some plugins is the cause of overhead on your website.
Loading speed is a powerful factor that affects the user experience of your visitors. Loading speed is the amount of time it takes for your website to load on the user's device. That could be your home page, sales page, landing page, or any other page. The longer it takes for your webpage to load, the more restless the users get. Mind you, most of them simply don't bother to wait, when the entire internet is waiting for them. They'll simply quit your website and go to another site. So, you lose precious visitors. More visitors leaving your website after clicking on your link means lower click-through rate, which directly affects your search engine ranking.
You can improve the loading speed by making your web page heavy. Apart from getting rid of flash, frames, and heavy plugins, you can also remove high-resolution images, or at least compress them to decrease their size.
High Priority
The Blog section lists direct links to all the blog articles you have created on your website. In today's digital era, blogs form an important component of audience-outreach system viz. the social media. Blogs offer value to your audience and give them a strong reason to visit your website regularly.
For consumer-oriented businesses, it is crucial that they have a strong social media presence. It is not enough to just create a social media page and spend thousands of dollars on social media ads. In order to engage your audience with your business or website, you need to offer them value. Whatever you offer should be valuable enough to check your social media pages, follow them, and even visit your website. Blog articles are a powerful tool to achieve all of this without spending anything. These blog articles can be shared on social media to expand their reach. The more your audience reads your blog articles, engages with your brand, and visits your website, the more trust you develop in the market.
The Blog section helps you track and manage all your blog posts to ensure that you are reaching the maximum audience with your social media strategy.
High Priority
Page Speed is another impressive tool to help you improve your visitor's user experience on your website. It will display the time taken for your webpages to load, and also the size of the web pages.
If the Page Load Time (as displayed under the Page Speed section) of the web pages is high, then it means that the users are being made to wait for longer durations until their pages load. The other metric, 'Page Size,' denotes the size of the page. The lower the Page Size, the faster will increase your web page load. Together, the two metrics give you a good idea of how slow or fast your webpage is loading.
The metrics are also accompanied by average page load time and average page size. These averages offer a lot more information than what is immediately obvious. If your page load time is well below the world average, and your page size is also well below the global average, then the problem could be the server where your website is hosted. Perhaps, your website is receiving more traffic that what its server is capable of handling efficiently. Thus, this section is crucial for analyzing and improving the user experience of your website visitors.
High Priority
In this section, you can check all the links that are leading out of your web page. There are two types of links on your web page – internal links and external links. Internal links are necessary to help your website visitors navigate through your site easily. External links take your visitors away from your site. They could be leading to your social media pages, sister sites, reference content, or to other websites. In the In-page Links section, you can monitor all of them.
An excessive number of links on your web page can drive down its credibility in the eyes of the search engines, irrespective of whether they are external or internal links.
Further, if you have enabled comments on your website or blog, the regular analysis could be necessary to ensure that your commentators are not posting spam links to spam websites. Such links can drastically bring down your website's credibility from the search engines' perspective.
Similarly, if your web pages have internal links leading to pages that are broken, removed, or whose URLs have not been updated, then it affects the overall SEO score of your website. Addressing them on an urgent basis is necessary. Those links can be easily found in the In-page Links section.
High Priority
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|External Links
|Show more
|Internal Links
In this section, you can check the percentage of file requests received by various types of files. If your web page has some files listed on it, then every time you load that web page, the browser sends a separate request for those individual files to load. The more files of a specific type are listed on the web page, the more is the number of requests received by the file type. As the number of files to be loaded on a web page increases, the size of the web page increases, which in turn increases your page load time, and leads to a bad user experience.
High Priority
Missing Alts provides a list of all the images on your web pages, along with the information about whether or not they have ALT texts associated with them. ALT text is the text description for each of your images, which makes it possible for the search engine crawlers to identify the content in the images.
Search engine crawlers are amazing at recognizing, understanding, and indexing text content from your website. But, they are not capable of recognizing your images. While they can index them, they sure will not know what those images are. In the event that search engine users are looking for images related to your website topic, then the search engine will not know to give them your image, no matter how perfectly your image matches their search query.
ALT texts prevent all of this from happening. Your ALT text for each image should accurately describe what is in the image in as few words as possible. ALT text is not to be confused with a caption. The caption is what you use to recognize internally on your WordPress platform or your servers. Better ALT text means better crawling by search engines, which means better page rankings. So, if you see any links to images in the Missing ALTs section, then add ALT text to them immediately.
Medium Priority
|Value missing
|Value missing
|Value missing
|Pool Builders Auckland
|Swimming Pool Designs
|Swimming Pool Designs
|Swimming Pool Designs
|Swimming Pool Designs
|Swimming Pool Designs
|Swimming Pool Designs
Here, you can check a variety of information regarding the web server where your website is hosted. It provides you with general server information like Nameserver, server status, the server's IP address, and even the geographical location of the server, down to the city.
You can regularly check whether your server is up and running smoothly or not. If your customers or visitors are having a problem accessing your website, then this is the first place you check for more information. If the Server Status is showing as Up/Running, and your website users are still finding it hard to access it, then it could be because of many factors such as slow internet speed of the user, low bandwidth of the server and high website traffic, and so on.
Your server's location and its speed are also crucial for the search engines. For any reason, if your website users are having a bad experience on your site, then Google is smart enough to recognize that and lower your search engine rankings. Therefore, your web server should always be up and running, have good bandwidth, and hosted on a trustworthy server.
High Priority
This section offers you all the basic information you need about your domain name. Domain name is the human-readable address of your website, which the users can use to visit your website. It has very little effect on your website's Google rankings, but try to purchase a second-hand domain as it drives more traffic than a fresh domain.
Once the domain is registered, you check the registrar name, which is basically the agency with which your domain name is currently parked. You can also check out the contact details you have shared with the registrar, including your or your company's name, address, and phone number. You will even find the information on when your particular domain was first created under the Domain Created heading. If you purchased your domain from a previous owner, then the Domain Created head will display the time when the domain was created for the first time. Further, a Domain Expiry head will provide you information on when the domain will expire.
Domain Privacy is another important feature in the Domain Registration section. It displays whether your domain privacy has been enabled or disabled. If you wish to keep the contact details that you shared with the domain registrar private, then you should enable domain privacy.
Medium Priority
Backlinks are the links that bring visitors from other websites to your websites. So, logically having more backlinks translates to more customers, right? Not really! Backlinks work exactly like letters of recommendation. In the case of recommendation letters, it is not only the content of the letters that matters, but also the person who is making the recommendation. This is true for backlinks as well.
If backlinks to your website are being featured on another site, then your website's search engine ranking will improve or fall, depend on that website's ranking. If you happen to have backlinks on websites that search engines recognize as SEO offenders who use black hat SEO tricks, or on websites that are irrelevant to your website's content altogether, then search engines will punish the site by dropping the rankings.
Backlinks are among the most important SEO tools, as they have a direct effect on your search engine ranking. Once you have set up backlinks on the internet, you can analyze the number of visitors you are getting from different sources (websites hosting your backlinks) using the Backlinks tool.
High Priority
Alexa is a website popularity tracking service that was acquired by Amazon. It offers a variety of metrics and statistics to understand the popularity of a website. Its most popular metric being "Alexa Rank", which ranks the sites according to the number of visitors they attract. It might not be possible for most users to plow through a multitude of these metrics and numbers. Therefore, the Alexa section here simplifies everything and presents to the user in an easily understandable format.
The Alexa section simply displays the popularity of your website as low, medium or high. This saves you precious time that you would instead have spent on understanding a multitude of Alexa metrics. The Alexa ranking is useful because it helps you track the SEO performance of your website on a global scale.
Medium Priority
Good SEO practices require a variety of tools and technologies to implement. Whether you have a custom-built website from the ground up or have built one on WordPress or similar platforms, you make use of multiple technologies, whether you know it or not. The Technology section gives you a comprehensive list of the various tools and technologies that you have integrated with your website. Sometimes, they even go beyond SEO.
One of the tools that you could be using is Google Analytics. To integrate the tool, you would be required to enter the unique code from your Google Analytics account into your website code. Another technology that websites, especially those involved in eCommerce, make use of is an SSL certification. An SSL certificate encrypts all the sensitive information shared by your website users so that their data is not accessible to hackers or middlemen (like payment gateways for instance) on the internet.
The Technology section gives you an insight into what other tools and technologies your website could be using.
Low Priority
Usability refers to the ease of use of your website by your visitors.
SEO is a powerful tool which, when used correctly, can generate massive amounts of traffic to your website. However, converting visitors into paying customers, subscribers, contributors, and other such active users is a different ballgame altogether. Your conversion rate (the ratio of visitors converted to total visitors) will be largely dependent on other factors such as usability of your website, usefulness of your website, relevance, and so on.
Usability of your website can be improved by following simple guidelines released by many experts in the field. For instance, it is far easier for your visitors to remember links to your website if the URLs are shorter. If they are coming to your website directly by typing your domain address in the address bar of a browser, then your job is to make their work easier. The shorter the URL, the easier it is for them. Then there is the Favicon. Many internet users have the habit of opening dozens of tabs in their browsers. The easiest way to recognize where the tab for your website is located among all those tabs is through Favicons.
There are many things like these that have a very small impact individually, but they are a powerful force when combined. Together, they improve the usability of your website significantly.
Low Priority
The URLs are an important factor used by search engines to rank your website. A descriptive URL that concisely gives an idea of what is in its web page is likely to be ranked higher by search engines. Google's webmaster guidelines also specify the harm that parameters in URLs can do to your website. Parameters in URLs generate an endless number of clone web pages, which make it difficult for search engine crawlers to index them. They may even completely prevent your web pages from indexing. In the URL section, you can check whether the effectiveness of your URLs is being compromised by any such factor.
Medium Priority
Search engines consider http://seojuicer.com and http://www.seojuicer.com as two different domains. This can potentially lead to many problems, especially with your search engine rankings. If you are using both formats to create backlinks to your website from other websites, then the recommendation benefit you are getting from those websites gets split between these two versions of the websites. This costs your website immensely, in terms of search engine rankings. To avoid such confusion, you need to redirect all the links of one domain format, say non-www, to the other domain format. WWW format domains are preferred for many reasons, and therefore it is standard practice to redirect all non-www links to their www format links.
This section informs you whether the links from your non-preferred domain have been redirected or not.
Medium Priority
Mobile internet users are in the majority now. Roughly 60% of all internet searches now originate from mobile devices. So, if you only optimize your website for laptops and desktops, you will be ignoring approximately 60% of your potential visitors. You can ensure that your website is user-friendly to mobile phone users by following some standard guidelines.
The Mobile Preview section gives you an idea of how your website looks when accessed on a smartphone or a tablet. Things that you take for granted with desktop users do not apply to mobile users. For instance, pop-ups can become exceptionally frustrating to close on mobile devices. The user's device may not have a flash plugin to run your flash content. What if your buttons are so close together that the user's finger is clicking on multiple buttons simultaneously? You can avoid this issue by designing your website for fat fingers. Make use of the industry's best practices to ensure that your website is mobile friendly.
Once you have implemented all the mobile friendly design elements, use the Mobile Preview option to check whether your website looks and works well on mobile devices.
High Priority
Social Media is an indispensable element of SEO. Social media platforms offer both organic and inorganic options for driving up your website traffic. But, that is only just a small part of what they do. They offer a platform where brands and companies have open conversations with their audience regarding what are their needs and wants. They give businesses an opportunity to engage their audience, learn from them and then streamline their business strategy – everything from marketing and sales to product development – based on the insights gathered from their audience on social media.
Engagement with the audience on social media drives traffic to your website and with that, your website's search engine ranking. In addition, good SEO practices will lead your website users to your social pages, where you can interact with them more honestly. Together, this creates a virtuous cycle that leads to more sales, subscriptions, signups, and so on.
You can get a glimpse of the status and performance of all your social media pages in the Social Media section with one quick look.
High Priority


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DVD and the 2013 update DVD at this link. DVD #1 is $20 and contains over 1,100 patterns. The 2013 update DVD is $7.50 and has another 178 patterns.


text:
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text:
Hello everyone – how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade.Can any speech be good for such wide range of ages? 2540 words should take at least 15 minutes to deliver. Who gives a 15 minute speech to kindergartners?
I'm glad you all could join us today.Students tuning in? Glad you could join us? It's not voluntary.
I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning."This is no picnic for me either, buster" is a long-time laugh line for Obama, but it's not exactly comprehensible to kids. Do kindergartners and first graders understand what a foreign country is? Do elementary school students recognize the word "Indonesia"? Will students understand why going to school with people other than Americans is so bad? (Isn't it prejudiced to think that? a bright child might wonder.)
I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning.
Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."
And what sort of mother wakes a kid up before dawn to teach him lessons? (Some parents say "I'll teach you a lesson" as a prelude to punishment.) Frankly, I don't even understand why the mother picked pre-dawn for lesson time. It seems a bit abusive. And I don't see what so funny when the abusers says "This hurts me too." Is a mother calling her child "buster" funny to little kids, or does it seem sad or scary?
So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you...It's not a discussion. He's on television.
Okay, I've got to stop. I'm not going to reprint the whole thing. It's way too long. I'll summarize. As it goes on, he develops the theme of students taking responsibility for their own education, including and especially when they don't have responsible adults in their life watching over them.
Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.Now, that's very nice free market capitalism — not that Obama's policies reflect this spirit.
That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America....
I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things.So can you "write your own destiny" and "make your own future" or not? It's confusing.
But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.But I thought we weren't supposed to think we could make it at basketball! That's downright perplexing. And why is rapping an inappropriate goal but being a fiction writer is admirable? Isn't rap a more easily reachable occupation?
That's OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. JK Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
... [Y]ou've got to do your part... So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down – don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it."I expect"... I have no idea if expressions of expectation motivate children. Personally, I don't react well to a political leader telling me he expects something from me, but I'm not a kid.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.He ends with a double "God." I guess it's okay when Obama invokes the deity in school, but some kids might wonder why God's blessing comes at the end. After all, they were just told to take personal responsibility for themselves. And as for "God bless America," why is it even relevant? This wasn't a patriotic speech. The message to kids in other countries — including Indonesia — would be the same. Maybe some older kids will get it that it's just the conventional ending for a presidential speech, but if you're not familiar with the convention, and you're just trying to understand this speech, it's comes from nowhere.


text:
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Tell-Tale Heart
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
But now it will haunt us both day and night.
This cake makes a mockery of my horror, Chris L. It's also really icky. Tell me, do all University of Texas cakes look like week-old medical specimens?
147 comments | Post a Comment
- Queen Julian XIII said...
Are you sure that's not a uterus? I always thought the University of Texas' mascot was a uterus...
- December 23, 2008 at 9:38 AM
- dmontag said...
To the "decorator"'s credit, my first guess when I looked at it was "Texas Longhorn". But, I'm a big football fan, so I had a good idea of what it should look like.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:39 AM
- Enjay said...
This would be the prize winning entry in the "Poop a Texas Longhorn for Thanksgiving" contest. Oy Vey.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:43 AM
- Suzanne Dargie said...
I'm SO glad you mentioned University of Texas or I would have been baffled all day wondering what could have inspired such a monstrosity!
...meaning that's supposed to be a Texas Longhorn, NOT a gouged out heart on a necklace.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:43 AM
That's just...wrong. In other news, congrats on being the Site of the Day on ew.com!
- December 23, 2008 at 9:43 AM
- The Dutchess of Kickball said...
Or is it a Texas Long-Horn?
- December 23, 2008 at 9:44 AM
- Wicked said...
Ewww. That cake looks... just scary.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:45 AM
Blech! If you hadn't identified what it's allegedly supposed to be, I never would have guessed. It does, indeed, look like the remnants of an autopsy dropped on a cake.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:45 AM
- Jessica said...
That is pretty hidious. I figured out that it was a longhorn right away but it does look a bit decayed.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:45 AM
Wow it looks like a pile of oddly colored poo.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:46 AM
University of Texas? Hmmm, I think that maybe it's meant to be a longhorn steer skull rather than a rotting heart dangling from two severed arteries. Sadly, it's better at conveying the latter rather than the former.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:48 AM
- Unknown said...
That looks more like something that came out the other end of Bevo!
- December 23, 2008 at 9:48 AM
- Angie McCullagh said...
Poop with horns! Wow. Cut me a slice!
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
- December 23, 2008 at 9:49 AM
- Andrea said...
and the bleeding dye in the frosting in the.... um, "horns" ... just adds to the appeal, YUM! ewwwwwwwwwww!
- December 23, 2008 at 9:50 AM
- C. Beth said...
Oh, dear, no. I know a whole lot of UT fans who just might pass out looking at that.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:50 AM
- Etiquette Bitch said...
omg, on first glance, i thought that *was* dog doo. uck. then i thought, "maybe it's supposed to be the UT logo."
i pity the recipient of this wreck.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:51 AM
Yay for first comment (in both respects!)
- December 23, 2008 at 9:51 AM
- RichS said...
My first thought was that it looked like something my dog would leave in the back yard. Delicious.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:51 AM
Perhaps you are to slice it with a scalpel...
WV- pantop... opposite of pan bottom.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:51 AM
OMG, that is just a disaster. I thought the same things: anatomical specimen, of what sort I could imagine at least three; taxidermy gone horribly wrong; and turned 90°, a snake or komodo dragon head in profile.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:52 AM
The one right above the "heart" that's cut off in the photo looks disturbing too. Almost like the blue and brown "winter" cake.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:52 AM
Hmm...looks like we have some left atrial enlargement. I suspect it's from too much buttercream.
(I just have to say that working at a med school, AND having grown up in Texas, this one amuses me to no ends).
- December 23, 2008 at 9:52 AM
oh, so appropriate for a longhorn cake. I'm an aggie, of course!
- December 23, 2008 at 9:54 AM
It looks like a poop that grew horns.
- December 23, 2008 at 9:55 AM
- Laura ~Peach~ said...
i sure thought that was a uterus~ ack!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:03 AM
- kerry said...
is that what that's supposed to be? because i thought it was an anatomically correct heart made out of poop.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:04 AM
- Glory von Hathor said...
They missed off the ovaries.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:04 AM
- Megan said...
Oh. My. God. That is disgusting!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM
- Unknown said...
I go to UT, so I immediately knew what it was, but I really didn't want it to be... Maybe an Aggie did it?
- December 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM
Where are the ovaries?
- December 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM
- Caitie Miller said...
Haha this is so horribly wrong in every way. I love it.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:06 AM
It looks like the Texas longhorn steer massacre.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:06 AM
I'm so glad I read the comments. I'm not the only person who thinks their mascot looks like a uterus. The Fighting Uteri.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:07 AM
- Boozy Tooth said...
Autopsy specimen cake! Yay! I'll have me a big ol' slice of ventricle please and we'll save the aorta for after dinner.
Priceless. Jen, you've outdone yourself as usual. Need an assistant?
- December 23, 2008 at 10:08 AM
- ipa said...
Please stop it. I've run out of incontinence things and now I have to do another load of laundry!
A uterus! OMG - the funiest thing I've ever seen!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:09 AM
- queenb said...
hmmm...who knew there were so many, many ways to make icing/frosting look like poo? Only here at cake wrecks are we free to explore the variety of colors and textures that give cakes that poo-esque feel. I agree with Andrea...the fact that the dye has bled into the frosting gives this particular poo attempt an added and unnecessary element of realism. Go U of Poo!
~Bonnie B~
- December 23, 2008 at 10:14 AM
- megryphon said...
This is marginally better than the year a co-worker brought our supervisor a frosting decorated cow-pie for Christmas.
Just, ... WHY?
o<\\\\\;^) Jan the Gryphon
wv: hiessest - and boo and thumbs down
- December 23, 2008 at 10:17 AM
- M said...
As a Texas Tech fan, I'm glad it looks like something a Longhorn with digestive problems produced.
Beautiful Wreck!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:28 AM
- Meg said...
Being a non-sportsfan, I first thought it was a poorly executed reindeer. Well that was my third thought, the first two were obviously heart and uterus.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:31 AM
- Justine said...
I can hear the decorator talking to her buddies now, "Well since I trimmed them off and put them on this necklace, Steve stays home at night. No more divorce talk either!" Yikes!!!!!!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:31 AM
- E.A.D. said...
I couldn't decide if this was depicting a rather macabre necklace Angelina Jolie would have worn in her younger years, or if someone was paying homage to blossoming ob/gyns in med school.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:31 AM
- Grandma Cebe said...
I wasn't sure what this was suppose to be. I thought it was a very bad attempt at a reindeer
What I want to know about all these cake wrecks, does anyone buy them? Ever?
- December 23, 2008 at 10:39 AM
Here is the EW site of the day link, in case you haven't seen it!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:42 AM
- FreedomFirst said...
Eeeuuuwww! I can't tell if that's a vital organ, or some post-Halloween/Thanksgiving orange frosting poo!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:43 AM
- Stephanie said...
wow I thought it was a uterus and fallopian tubes.
I was way off.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:44 AM
- The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...
OKAY! He's under the floorbooooooards! You caught me red handed, you baking bastard!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:48 AM
- Meg Natraj said...
UT shall now be called "Poo T." Or is this a UT-erus?
Oh, the puns!!!
- December 23, 2008 at 10:48 AM
- Jennie said...
Looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting... except, you know, horrifying.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:48 AM
I guessed it was a Texas longhorn but that's proably because i live in Texas
word- muness this cake in pure muness
- December 23, 2008 at 10:55 AM
- Peckish said...
Gees, guys, it's just the mascot, UTerus.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:56 AM
- Unknown said...
Most definitely a uterus or a heart. Maybe both. What would that be? A hearterus? A uterart?
- December 23, 2008 at 10:56 AM
- Katie said...
Honestly, this cake looks like it should have been on the buffet table at an OB/GYN convention. My first thought of what it was, like others, was a uterus and falopian tubes. Seriously. Since I knew that couldn't possibly be what it really was, I was actually stumped. I never would have guessed UT mascot, but I can kind of sort of maybe almost see it.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:00 AM
Hookem' Horns....maybe?
- December 23, 2008 at 11:05 AM
- Heide said...
What is it?
- December 23, 2008 at 11:08 AM
- Sihaya said...
An Aggie probably decorated it that way on purpose.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:10 AM
- Shellee said...
Are you sure this wasn't supposed to be one of the weird "Baby Shower Cakes"? It really does look like a uterus.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:10 AM
- Courtney said...
I love it!
Another Aggie
- December 23, 2008 at 11:16 AM
Yeah, if it weren't for the comments, I'd have no idea what this was supposed to be. Well, I'm making an assumption that someone made an unidentifiable wreck, rather than deliberately decorating a cake with the leavings of a dog inflicted with severe bowel problems.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:16 AM
Why does the longhorn have no face? Also, I found a CakeWrecks mention on PopWatch this morning on www.ew.com. Didn't know if you knew or not. Love this blog!
- December 23, 2008 at 11:17 AM
- Dani said...
Is that what it's supposed to be?
- December 23, 2008 at 11:20 AM
Thank goodness you said University of Texas. I had absolutely no idea what in the world that was supposed to be. I had convinced myself that it was indeed a "heart". Sad.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:32 AM
- Jongudmund said...
That actually gave me an all body dry heave.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:32 AM
- Dodi said...
Perhaps it's suppose to be a graduation cake for a Pre-med student from UT? Who might be going to be a Gastoenterologist someday?
- December 23, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Yeah. I would have NEVER guessed that was a University of Texas Longhorn. And I, too, know what it's supposed to look like.
If you hadn't pointed it out, I would have spent the rest of my day wondering why someone would design a moldy-looking heart on a cake :).
- December 23, 2008 at 11:43 AM
Uterus made out of poop! I love it ... I'm so ordering that for my "Happy Menopause Party".
- December 23, 2008 at 11:47 AM
Being from Texas (and having lived north of Austin), I knew it was supposed to be a longhorn...But, it was rather scary-looking (and did look like something from the wrong end of a longhorn).
Are we sure the cake wasn't done by an Aggie fan? I know quite a few rabid Aggies who would probably enjoy that cake :o)
- December 23, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Saw varsity's horns off...
I bet an Aggie did this cake.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:59 AM
- Mella said...
What is THAT , because to me it looks like a dog left it there
- December 23, 2008 at 12:00 PM
That's what happens when you get your degree from the TAMU School of Cake Decorating.
- December 23, 2008 at 12:18 PM
- Hi Kooky said...
I vote "Uterus & Fallopian Tubes with Poo Overtones."
- December 23, 2008 at 12:35 PM
- Charly said...
The "decorator" must be a Texas A&M fan...haha!
- December 23, 2008 at 12:47 PM
- Scritzy said...
"No, no, no! It was supposed to be a WHITE cattle skull on a BROWN background, you color-blind moron! Now get back there and start over. You don't have time to use brown frosting, just airbrush it."
Such a mooooooooving conversation.
Word verification: cadess. A female cad.
- December 23, 2008 at 12:47 PM
- Das Mutter said...
It actually looks like an attempt at a Texas Longhorns cake. And since I believe they play Wisconsin this weekend in the bowl games (my hubby is a Badger Alum), perhaps a lovely Bucky the Badger cake is next to it?
- December 23, 2008 at 12:57 PM
- Debbi said...
Nope. Uterus/fallopian tubes or bleeding heart. I do NOT see a Texas longhorn AT ALL. Even after it was mentioned. I do love the brown scalloped border ... adds so much to the "design" ...
- December 23, 2008 at 1:02 PM
- Lulubelle B said...
UT Longhorn or pile of poo? Jen reports, you decide! So gross!!
- December 23, 2008 at 1:09 PM
Being an OU fan....i think this cake is appropriate. ha ha
- December 23, 2008 at 1:10 PM
- One Thing Better said...
I guess I was the only one that thought it looked like a damaged brown jockstrap. I guess I know where my mind goes.
- December 23, 2008 at 1:33 PM
It looks like cow poo! (turns green in utter disgust) :(:(:(
- December 23, 2008 at 1:37 PM
It needs to be on Weird True And Freaky.
- December 23, 2008 at 1:39 PM
- CaliGirl9 said...
I thought this was a sick medical school cake celebrating the completion of gross anatomy.
I need some therapy. That was just traumatic!
- December 23, 2008 at 1:58 PM
- Illifornian said...
I saw this exact same thing on my lawn courtesy of my dog....
- December 23, 2008 at 2:03 PM
as a sooner girl I think it's exactly what a long-horn looks like...something that should be in the toilet! haha! This is probably my favorite wreck yet! Boomer sooner!
- December 23, 2008 at 2:14 PM
LOL... I LOVE it! Perfect!
- December 23, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Maybe it is roasted chicken...in frosting...one giant lump of frosting. Honestly these wreckerators need to learn that it will look just fine if the frosting is smoothed out into the shape or whatever the picture is supposed to be. ahhh!
- December 23, 2008 at 2:20 PM
- Manders said...
Oh Poo!
- December 23, 2008 at 2:24 PM
Funny, when I first saw this, I thought, "Geez, that's an odd take on the Texas Longhorns logo." You know you've created a wreck when viewers think it looks like what it should but aren't really sure.
Word verification: tives, what will break out on Texas Longhorn fans who eat this cake.
- December 23, 2008 at 2:41 PM
- Becky said...
I sure am glad you told us what it was, because I would have never guess that in a million years. Heart on a necklace is what I see...
- December 23, 2008 at 2:49 PM
Definitely made in College Station.
- December 23, 2008 at 2:57 PM
If this cake were only upside down, it would be perfect... I'm an OU fan, so any Longhorn cake would be a wreck. :)
- December 23, 2008 at 3:14 PM
That is maybe the grossest cake I have ever seen on this site. Eeew!
- December 23, 2008 at 3:34 PM
- Feisty Irish Wench said...
Exactly how long has this wreck been out of the (piping) bag? It's a good indication that something has been unsold for long enough when the icing colors start bleeding. It's as bad as flies in the 5 year old window cakes.
- December 23, 2008 at 3:53 PM
This would be perfect for the serial killer in your life celebrating a birthday! "Look honey! A human heart necklace cake!" "And it's still beating!"
- December 23, 2008 at 3:57 PM
I thought it was a 3D tongue sticking out of a line mouth.
- December 23, 2008 at 4:13 PM
- Brandy said...
More like the Tell Tale Turd....
- December 23, 2008 at 4:33 PM
I'm pretty sure I've seen that design before...in an infant's diaper. I'm surprised Longhorn fans weren't storming the bakery.
- December 23, 2008 at 4:44 PM
- Chef E said...
OMG...I agree with dmontag, I am from Texas and at first glance thought of Tech, but yuck! Somebody needs to train that pastry chef, or boot the person that made her mad that day!
- December 23, 2008 at 4:58 PM
- Katie K said...
*gasp* Oh. My. Horror.
No way would I have ever guessed that was a Longhorn. I was just relieved it didn't say "Wishing you a speedy recovery"
- December 23, 2008 at 5:00 PM
Silly us, we thought the U in UT was for University.
- December 23, 2008 at 5:07 PM
- Quinn said...
I think the first one is the "Deep (really deep) in the Heart of Texas" cake.
The snowman/chicken cake...
- December 23, 2008 at 5:22 PM
So it's not supposed to be a poop necklace? Really?
- December 23, 2008 at 5:54 PM
Texas Longhorn huh? Would it be the sweetbreads of said longhorn perhaps?
Laura H.
- December 23, 2008 at 5:58 PM
- Unknown said...
This reminds me of the time I saw two banana slugs nestled together in a garden...they looked remarkably like this, only slimier. Neither the slugs nor this wreck make me want any cake!
- December 23, 2008 at 6:11 PM
I assume and Aggie did this.....
- December 23, 2008 at 6:19 PM
- writtenwyrdd said...
That looks like poo on a string to me. Gross. Is it really a TX Longhorns logo?
- December 23, 2008 at 6:32 PM
Um...I must not be up on my college mascots. Even though you identified it as a longhorn, I still couldn't tell what it was. That is one bad cake!!!
- December 23, 2008 at 6:48 PM
- Brooke said...
Wow. What a horror show. And what a great idea for a blog! I'm hooked!
- December 23, 2008 at 7:04 PM
- Mari said...
Are you sure that's not a tongue?
- December 23, 2008 at 7:32 PM
- Susan said...
It's a Match Day congratulatory cake that does double duty for budding ob/gyns and coroners!
- December 23, 2008 at 8:09 PM
Happy Transplant!
Good Luck in the Cath Lab!
or, might be good for a final break up...
- December 23, 2008 at 8:13 PM
- Donna M. said...
Well, when I first saw the picture, and hadn't read the commentary....I thought it was an old dried up version of a va-jay-jay.
Second glance, a rotten uterus with fallopian tubes.
"Congrats on your hysterectomy"?
- December 23, 2008 at 8:25 PM
- Amanda M. said...
It's not even an anatomically correct heart.
unless that's the pulmonary circuit. but who would want that? that's boring. the systemic circuit is way more interesting.
- December 23, 2008 at 8:31 PM
It looks more like a botched hysterectomy to me...
- December 23, 2008 at 8:32 PM
- Crystal Copeland said...
Holy cow! Not in a million years would I have guessed a texas longhorn! Never, ever, ever!
- December 23, 2008 at 9:02 PM
- Unknown said...
Oh, come on! This is a perfect "t.u." cake, right Aggies?!
Saw 'em off!
- December 23, 2008 at 9:42 PM
OMG, I thought it was a giant's poo, but yes I can see how it looks like a uterus. Still made me exclaim out loud when the page first opened.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:14 PM
- cadylee said...
OMG, is that really supposed to be a longhorn? I actually thought maybe it was a horrible rendition of a heart. Like, "Congratulations on surviving your open-heart surgery; here's a pound of frosting to speed your recovery." I mean, shouldn't there be eyes or something if it's a steer?
- December 23, 2008 at 10:15 PM
I saw the longhorn right away (and I'm not a sports person), but that doesn't mean I *wasn't* disturbed by its close resemblance to a uterus.
I'm also of the opinion that it shouldn't look as though as though they placed a decapitated steer's head there, letting it slowly decay. It's an interestingly literal way of doing the cake, but perhaps not best for sales.
- December 23, 2008 at 10:32 PM
The first thing I thought was "pouch front g-string", you know, the kind male strippers wear.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:02 PM
My boyfriend looked at it and was like um....cooch on a string? Here I was wondering why anyone would interpret a dog who's had too much peanut butter in icing. If they wanted it be a UT cake..couldn't they have like air brushed it burned orange? It'd be slightly more recognizable.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:10 PM
Ew, ew and triple ew!!! :( Totally gross, whatever it's supposed to be.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:11 PM
My first thought was University of Texas (my sister-in-laws will be proud) but I thought BeeVo (sp?) was alive not dead and rotting.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:15 PM
- Hyena Overlord said...
It's a uterus...or a heart..or poo with arms...now I need therapy
wvotd nanish.."when I'm spouting off wisdom from my grandmother, I'm being "nanish".
- December 23, 2008 at 11:16 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
Well, they saw fit to put the thing in a plastic container; that says a lot. About WHAT, I don't know.
I noticed that this particular cake hasn't a price sticker on it...(!)
I noticed as well that it almost seems to be settled into some sort of dark-colored bin.
One might hazard a guess that the receptacle *could* be one of those used for, say, refuse, and what-have-you...that sort of thing.
I could be wrong.
- December 23, 2008 at 11:20 PM
Yea! As a native Austinite (except for my four..ok 5 yrs in CS) and an Aggie, i think this is Bevo with his horns sawed off!! And his face mutilated. But really, we keep things weird here...our bakers are usually stoned, so I wouldn't put it past them to make an organ looking bevo!
- December 23, 2008 at 11:32 PM
- Alberta Art Classes said...
- December 24, 2008 at 12:25 AM
- Zoltar Panaflex said...
Why would anyone need a strangulated vulva cake with horns?
- December 24, 2008 at 12:44 AM
I'm surprised so many people saw horns on this thing. My first thought was it was a double pile of poop with churros coming out the sides! Very unappealing to view, and almost stomach-turning to think of actually consuming such a disgusting looking pile of icing. *ick*
- December 24, 2008 at 2:58 AM
- Scrapsies said...
Wow, whatever it is, it looks wrong. They should cut it up real quick before anyone sees!
- December 24, 2008 at 3:01 AM
- Debbie said...
Yep, it's a uterus.
- December 24, 2008 at 3:05 AM
- Unknown said...
I sort of guessed what it was supposed to be, though I didn't associate it with a mascot (I don't watch football). I thought it was maybe a skull...
...a deformed, bashed-in skull.
Obviously, that's what killed it. A severe head/face injury.
- December 24, 2008 at 8:30 AM
- Unknown said...
Um...I saw something else in the design, but won't say.
Come on! Even an Aggie could do better, right? LOL
~Amy B
- December 24, 2008 at 8:55 AM
I have to give the decorator credit for trying...... But there is no way that I would have let that cake leave my sight for anything in the world. I would have promptly redone it!!
- December 24, 2008 at 10:02 AM
It looks like a huge set of *you know whats* underneath a thong to me! Yuck!
- December 24, 2008 at 10:10 AM
- Mandi said...
Blarch. I think i threw up in my mouth a little bit.
- December 24, 2008 at 11:30 AM
- Leigh said...
Nah. Not the teasip's mascot Bevo. He's oh-so-easy to draw, and he's always 2-D.
This is clearly a seasonal cake. It illustrates the Grinch's heart AFTER it grew three sizes.
Y'all must not have that Christmas spirit yet!
- December 24, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Am I the only one who thought 'Oompa Loompa Dance Belt'? I guess so...
- December 24, 2008 at 1:50 PM
My 7 yr old walked behind me, did a double take and then whispered in my ear "Mom? Why did someone make a cake with balls on it? That's just gross!"
- December 24, 2008 at 7:11 PM
- Kristina said...
Wow, that's terrible! Tell me that didn't come from a bakery in Austin and if so, which one do I need to avoid?
- December 24, 2008 at 8:32 PM
So this is what happens when you put sooners and aggies in the same cake decorating room.
- December 25, 2008 at 5:11 PM
I don't even get it! What IS that???? It's so so sooo . . random! Ahh cake wrecks, you never fail to entertain me.
- December 26, 2008 at 12:44 AM
- Unknown said...
is it for a gynaecologist's graduation party?
- December 26, 2008 at 7:09 PM
Just saw this abomination on SpursCorral.com
Somebody was nice enough to share the horror. Hilarity ensued!
- December 27, 2008 at 8:32 AM
- Ronnica said...
That's the best looking longhorn I've seen. Let's face it, they're all very ugly in burnt orange.
Boomer Sooner!
- January 5, 2009 at 12:56 PM
- Margi said...
ummm... that's definitely a wandering uterus.. 'hysterical' in every way
- January 19, 2009 at 8:51 PM
- Sara R. said...
I'm pretty sure that this is a celebration cake for someone who has just had a hysterectomy.
- January 29, 2009 at 10:07 PM
Heart? As a med student I'm more convinced it looks like a uterus from the typical body donator - soaked in formalin for at least 3 months.
Thinking of it, that brown stuff around that thing do look a little like small intestine...
- July 12, 2009 at 12:29 PM
- PB&Chutney said...
I like that it looks disgusting because I hate the Texas Longhorns. I'm an Aggie :) Can you do an Aggie cake??
- July 1, 2010 at 12:13 PM
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Ripple effects to Stewart, NASCAR, sponsors may be huge
The essence of Tony Stewart is that he touches nearly every part of auto racing. The three-time NASCAR champion owns short tracks, races grassroots series in his spare time and has ownership stakes in a multitiered racing empire with interests in NASCAR and sprint cars (and a partner, Gene Haas, who will enter Formula One).
After his car struck and killed Kevin Ward Jr. in a Saturday night race at Canandaigua Motorsports Park, the ripple effects could be enormous across myriad racing series, sponsors and teams.
But aside from replacing Stewart with Regan Smith in the No. 14 Chevrolet for the Cheez-It 355 at Watkins Glen International, Stewart-Haas Racing would not address those ramifications and its future plans beyond Sunday's Cup race.
Experts in handling PR crisis management said it is the right approach while the Ontario County Sheriff's Department continues its investigation. In a statement, NASCAR said it would "continue to respect the process and timeline of the local authorities and will continue to monitor this situation."
"The facts here are critically important," said Ramsey Poston, president of strategic communication firm Tuckahoe Strategies and a former NASCAR executive. "Tony Stewart and SHR should limit what they say publicly to the facts and only the facts as they continue to cooperate with law enforcement.
Speculation on behalf of fans, media and others as to what might have happened and why can quickly take over the public dialogue and incorrectly frame the matter, which is why SHR needs to continue to steer any further comments to the established facts that are known. Law enforcement is driving the process for the time being. What is determined in that process will obviously set the course for any further action. At some point, the Ward family will possibly weigh in from a legal perspective making the facts and Tony's statements even more important."
As the investigation continues, here are the major issues that have been raised by Ward's death:
Safety in sprint cars already was at the forefront after a brutal 2013 season that left three drivers dead (including former NASCAR winner Jason Leffler) and Stewart with a broken right leg in a sprint car crash that sidelined him for the final 15 races of the Sprint Cup Series. His injury helped spearhead advancements in sprint car safety technology, but the focus now will turn to procedures that allowed Ward to exit his car and approach Stewart to express frustration after being spun by Stewart.
The review of such policies could transcend sprint car racing, too. In Saturday's Nationwide Series race at Watkins Glen, J.J. Yeley walked to the edge of oncoming traffic under a yellow flag so he could gesture at Trevor Bayne.
"Without suggesting any blame here, I think most people agree the days when drivers stand on a racetrack during a live race have to go," said Zak Brown, founder of Just Marketing, which has represented sponsors in NASCAR, IndyCar and Formula One. "It's happened for years in every form of motorsport globally and that practice has to stop."
During ESPN's prerace broadcast Sunday, analyst and former crew chief Andy Petree said Ward's death would be "a watershed moment for racing in general. Even if there's rule changes or procedure changes going forward, it's going to be something every race car driver will think about it. The impact of this tragic event is going to be felt from here forward. I think you'll see a lot of changes."
It was not clear how much input — if any — sponsors had in Stewart's decision to sit out the race, but it is certain SHR consulted them.
In NASCAR, drivers are corporate spokesmen expected to deliver a company's message with a clean image. Though Stewart is a pitchman extraordinaire whose blue-collage persona offers appeal, Ward's death is the latest of several on- and off-track incidents that have raised questions about why he always seems caught in a maelstrom of controversy.
During the 2010-11 offseason, Stewart said he was "very embarrassed and ashamed" after being questioned by Australian police (he was not charged) for hitting a track promoter with a helmet over a dispute over track safety while on a five-week racing tour of the country.
In 2002, Stewart nearly lost his ride at Joe Gibbs Racing for shoving a photographer at Indianapolis Motor Speedway after a 12th-place finish in the Brickyard 400. He sought anger management counseling and was placed on probation for the incident, as he also was for striking Brian Vickers after a 2004 Cup race at Sonoma Raceway.
There have been many other instances in which Stewart's temper has flared without drawing punishment. Two years ago at Bristol Motor Speedway, he was not disciplined for hurling his helmet at Matt Kenseth's car after a crash while racing for the lead.
For those unfamiliar with racing, it might have seemed odd that Stewart, a 43-year-old multimillionaire and racing icon, was racing against Ward, a relatively unknown 20-year-old, for a spot in the top 10 when they initially collided. Such moonlighting is not unusual, though, for Stewart, who was on pace to race in more than 100 events between stock cars and sprint cars before his injury last year.
It was the second consecutive year Stewart had raced at Canandaigua Motorsports Park, where he triggered a 15-car crash in which Alysha Ruggles, 19, suffered a compression fracture in her back last July. That wreck happened a week before the accident at Southern Iowa Speedway left Stewart with a compound fracture of his right leg. It prompted debate over whether it was worth racing in lower series and risk his multimillion-dollar commitments to SHR, which also fields the Chevrolets of Kevin Harvick, Danica Patrick and Kurt Busch.
Though Stewart races dirt tracks partly because he wants to shore up a discipline he loves, his Sprint Cup organization provides the bankroll that allows him to field championship-caliber teams in the USAC and World of Outlaws Series (Tony Stewart Racing driver Donny Schatz won the prestigious Knoxville Nationals a few hours after Ward's fatal crash Saturday).
When he raced for Joe Gibbs Racing from 1998-2008, Stewart was restricted from driving in series outside Cup, and the freedom offered by being his own boss factored into his decision to become a NASCAR team owner.
Analyst Ricky Craven, who had two wins in 278 Cup starts, said on ESPN's SportsCenter that Stewart races open-wheeled cars on dirt "because he loves it. Tony doesn't have a wife, doesn't have kids, but he does have family. His family is NASCAR, and his family are the people that make up his team at Stewart-Haas Racing. His extended family is the group he travels with to the open-wheel races. He's a marquee name. He brings a lot of attention. There's a long list of drivers who have done this and continue to do it. It's just he has had some really bad circumstances in the last 12 months.
"From a commercial standpoint, you can argue until the cows come home that he shouldn't be doing that. From a commercial standpoint, if you're spending $20 million with his Sprint Cup team, you make a strong case for protecting your investment and saying, 'We're not going to allow you to do this.' But if you understand him and you realize that if we suffocate him, he's not going to be effective on Sundays. So to be great, he needs to be Tony Stewart. To be Tony Stewart, he races as many times a year as he can."
Fatal crashes are not uncommon on any level of racing, and the loss of star drivers has been weathered by NASCAR, which raced the week after Dale Earnhardt's death on the last lap of the 2001 Daytona 500, and IndyCar, which canceled its 2011 season finale at Las Vegas Motor Speedway after the death of Dan Wheldon but regrouped to run in 2012 as scheduled.
But the circumstances surrounding Ward's death are highly unusual as drivers rarely are killed on the track while outside the cockpit. There are not many situations analogous to what Stewart will be dealing with emotionally. Among the only vaguely comparable situations might have been Richard Petty's drag racing crash in 1965 in which a part flew into the crowd, striking and killing an 8-year-old boy.
Craven said there was "no way Tony Stewart would have been 100 percent" for the race at the Glen and likely will need time to recover.
"He's more than just a race car driver," Craven said. "He owns the team. He is the leader of the group. Many of his peers look up to him. He's going to have to stand tall through this. He'll have to find the courage and strength to rebound and get everything back in order.
"Having said all that, there's no playbook for this. I'm not sure this is a short-term situation. I think it's going to require a lot of help from a lot of people. This is going to be very emotional. Long before Tony can get back in a race car, he's going to have to deal with or understand and come to grips with the circumstances of (Saturday) night."


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I've mentioned before that we grow a variety of kohlrabi that get very large without getting woody. The seeds are from Slovakia, Rick's grandfather brings them to us. Because we've never found this variety of kohlrabi in a seed catalog or garden center, and because Rick's grandparents don't go back to Slovakia regularly anymore, I decided that I better figure out how to save kohlrabi seeds.
Kohlrabi is a biennial, meaning it won't go to seed until its second year of life. Which meant in order for us to gather seeds, we'd need to keep it alive during the winter. Last fall I left five large, healthy, likely looking candidates in the ground. I imagined that I'd heavily mulch them with straw or leaves or something, but I never got around to it before the snow came. So we took our chances.
Spring came and the kohlrabi looked a little sad. The leaves were very droopy. Some of the smaller ones didn't make it at all. But by April, the three largest looked like this:
As they continued to grow, they cannibalized their bulbs and sent up great big stalks.
By May they had grown flowers. Yellow ones.
At the end of June they were setting seeds.
In July the pods started to dry and the birds started pecking away. I was pretty nervous about losing everything that I'd been keeping alive for two years.
But I held out a little longer and when most of the pods were brown, I cut the stalks off and took them to the garage to dry completely.
And I am happy to report success in saving our first seeds ever.
I'm still working on separating them from the chaff. I'm sure there's a better way than what we're doing… there has to be. But I am very pleased that we will still have these special seeds.
Have you saved seed before? Do you have a trick for separating the seeds from the chaff?


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Terrorists 2, Obama 0
So, now we know the suspected killer is an American citizen.
The AP reports that the feds intend to torture him without reading his Miranda warnings. The ACLU was quick to point out that the exemption to Miranda only kicks in when there is an imminent threat of immediate and confirmed harm. The feds can't claim on one hand that the threat is over while, on the other, drooling over the opportunity to deny the suspect due process of law.
We saw a similar phenomenon from the Mass State Police who, in announcing that the suspect was taken into custody, declared that "justice" had prevailed. Actually, "justice" hasn't even kicked in yet. One would think, as Law and Order is in its 23 season, that Americans could differentiate between "arrest" and "the court system." the latter represents justice.
Meanwhile, Americans are having a hard time distinguishing between Chechnya and the Czechs, leading the Czech Republic to have to issue a press release directing Americans to a map.
At some point, we're going to need to have a discussion about the overkill on Friday. Anyone who has familiarized themselves on the psychology of terrorism, included in such great books as Corey Robin's Fear; the History of a Political Idea, will recognize that Boston was utterly and totally terrorized beyond rationale by all of this, which just sets up for more acts of terror.
There's is also a growing discussion about the federal occupation of Boston this week. This turns out, it seems, to be not only domestic, but local. There is no federal issue at play. This is about murder, which is a violation of state law. Massachusetts has a state police operation that would be the envy of most countries in the world. This was within our state purview. The invasion of our state by the fed for what is seemingly a violation adequately addressed by Massachusetts law raises serious 10th Amendment questions about the USA PATRIOT Act and its constitutionality.
I suppose that if it turns out that kids died in Waco at the fertilizer plant that obama will head down there in his weird self-declared role of comforter in chief, perhaps to call for fertilizer control. Or does he not visit Red States because there is no political payback to be made? In the meantime, his untimely and ridiculous visit to Boston is just another example of how we are made less safe, not more, by the fool in the White House.


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I try never to miss Meghan Cox Gurdon's fortnightly reviews of children's books in the Weekend Edition of the Wall Street Journal, and not just because they show consistently good taste and news judgment: Gurdon is a morally fearless critic who has the number of publishers who try to pass off patronizing twaddle as art. Here is the beginning her review of six storybooks about presidential politics in the Aug. 23–24 Journal:
"Parents keen to make presidential politics 'relevant' to their young children will find abundant help in 2008's extra-large batch of campaign-themed storybooks. But will the tykes care? Children like a bit of fun in their picture books, yet the adult temptation to moralize seems, in most cases, to overwhelm any possibility of an engaging tale.
"Consider, for instance, the story of how a virtuous underdog rises to leadership in Rosemary Wells's Otto Runs for President (Scholastic). Interestingly, the book is dedicated to Elizabeth Edwards, wife of a onetime Democratic underdog whose virtue now seems … somewhat dog-eared.
"The setting here is a school, all the candidates for president are canines, and the didacticism is as thick as the paint in the illustrations …."
I admire Rosemary Wells greatly, but Gurdon defines her terms so clearly and writes so persuasively that her review left me in no rush to read about Otto. Gurdon was also underwhelmed by Kelly DiPuccio's Grace for President and Jarrett J. Krosoczka's Max for President. (Lane Smith's Madam President not quite as "morally earnest." ) So which books about electoral politics might children enjoy more? Next Saturday I'll review one of them, Kate Feiffer and Diane Goode's President Pennybaker, also included in Gurdon's roundup online.wsj.com/public/article/SB121944276577664749.html?mod=2_1167_1.
© 2008 Janice Harayda. All rights reserved.


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Ariel Castro pleads guilty to 937 counts in Ohio kidnap case
The man who imprisoned three women in his home, subjecting them to a decade of rapes and beatings, pleaded guilty Friday to 937 counts in a deal to avoid the death penalty.
Ariel Castro told the judge he was addicted pornography, had a "sexual problem" and had been a sexual abuse victim himself long ago.
In exchange for his plea, prosecutors recommended Castro be sentenced to life without parole plus 1,000 years.
Castro, 53, said he understood that he would never get out of prison, saying he expected he was "going to get the book thrown at me." He later added, "I knew that when I first spoke to the FBI agent when I first got arrested."
Castro, wearing glasses for the first time in court, was far more interactive than in previous court appearances when he mostly kept his head down and eyes closed. He answered the judge's questions in a clear, intelligible voice, saying he understood the proceedings and that he would never be released from prison.
Castro, who was born in Puerto Rico, said he could read and understand English well but had trouble with comprehension.
"My addiction to pornography and my sexual problem has really taken a toll on my mind." He later said he had been a sexual abuse victim as a child, but the judge cut him off.
Near the end of the 2 1/2-hour hearing, the judge accepted the pleas and declared Castro guilty. Sentencing was set for Thursday.
The deal comes more than a month after a statement issued on behalf of the women said they were "hopeful for a just and prompt resolution" and had "great faith in the prosecutor's office and the court."
Castro had been scheduled for trial Aug. 5 on a 977-count indictment, but 40 counts were dropped as part of the plea deal. The indictment included two counts of aggravated murder related to accusations that he punched and starved one woman until she miscarried. The former school bus driver also was charged with hundreds of counts of kidnapping and rape, plus assault and other counts.
He was accused of repeatedly restraining the women, sometimes chaining them to a pole in a basement, to a bedroom heater or inside a van. The charges alleged Castro assaulted one woman with a vacuum cord around her neck when she tried to escape.
The sticking point on a plea deal had been whether the prosecutor would rule out the death penalty.
Assistant Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Blaise Thomas said he wants to make sure Castro will never see the girl he fathered with one of his victims.
Chief Prosecutor Tim McGinty also says the county will use over $20,000 seized from Castro to tear down his house within a month. McGinty said the plan is to also tear down two abandoned houses next door and acquire a vacant lot for a park.
McGinty rejected attempts by Castro to portray himself a victim of a sex addiction.
"He's a coward and he's nowhere near the truth," McGinty said. "He's in his own world and it's not a world of regret and remorse. He feels sorry for one person and one person only — himself."
The three women disappeared separately between 2002 and 2004, when they were 14, 16 and 20 years old. Each said they had accepted a ride from Castro, who remained friends with the family of one of the women and even attended vigils over the years marking her disappearance.
The women escaped Castro's house May 6 when one of them kicked out part of a door and called to neighbors for help. Castro was arrested within hours and has remained behind bars.
News that Amanda Berry, Gina Dejesus and Michelle Knight had been found alive electrified the Cleveland area, where two of them were household names after years of searches, publicity and vigils. But elation soon turned to shock as allegations about their treatment began to emerge.
Castro fathered a 6-year-old daughter with Berry, authorities said. They allege that on the day the child was born, Christmas 2006, Castro raped one of the other women, who had helped deliver the baby.
Berry told authorities that she, her child and the other women never saw a doctor during their captivity.
Knight said her five pregnancies ended after Castro starved and repeatedly punched her.
The Associated Press does not usually identify people who may be victims of sexual assault, but the names of the three women were widely circulated after they disappeared, and they appeared in an online video thanking the public for its support.
The judge read their names in court Friday as the hearing was carried live on national cable news.
Since their rescue, the women have sought to stay out of sight and have appealed for privacy.