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User:Piemuffin/user talk
- 1 UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!
- 2 UnSignpost 4th September
- 3 UnSignpost Randomber 3th
- 4 UnSignpost September 10/17
- 5 UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009
- 6 UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009
- 7 UnSignpost Sometime October 2009
- 8 UnSignpost
22nd23rd October 2009
- 9 UnSignpost 29-10-2009
- 11 UnSignpost January several-days-agoth
- 12 UnSignpost 21th January 2009
- 13 UnSignpost 28th January 2010
- 14 UnSignpost 4th February 2010
- 15 UnSignpost 11th February 2010
- 16 UnSignpost 18th February 2010
- 17 UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)
- 18 UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)
- 19 UnSignpost 11th March 2010
- 20 Dude
- 21 UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)
- 22 UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)
- 23 UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.
- 24 UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.
- 25 UnSignpost 1 May
UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is![edit]
The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.
Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news
Fantasy Football Draft Finished
After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight."
The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment.
New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void
In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this.
Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:14, Aug 24
UnSignpost 4th September[edit]
The newspaper that missed an issue and no-one even noticed.
Date September something-or-other, 2009 • Issue 63 • Nobody reads this bit anyway
Left alone to write the entire UnSignpost, Ape delivers sub-par, mostly self-referential issue
"What happened to the signpost?" was the question on literally nobody's lips this week, as Uncyclopedia's favourite newspaper which everyone loves to read but no-one can be bothered to write for took another step on the long slow descent to obscurity.
However, our intrepid hero, i.e. me, soon discovered the enormity of the task that lay ahead of him. Boxes had to be filled, interesting and thought-provoking forums had to be discovered and linked to, block logs had to be accessed and trawled for witty comments (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) and this article and presumably another one below it had to be written.
"I never thought it could be this hard," Ape told himself, with sexual innuendo very much intended. "How did Gerrycheevers keep finding stuff to write about? There doesn't really seem to be much happening around here. I mean, I could start whoring my newest articles under the flimsy guise of self-referential irony, but that would be shit really. Who wants to see that? Nobody, that's who."
However, in the absence of anything funny or clever to say, our hero, (who is gradually being revealed to be more of an anti-hero, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, except with no sense of style) proceeded to do exactly that, shamelessly whoring two articles (which, if anything, evince his decline as a comedy writer), eliciting a universal chorus of groans and boos from all who had the misfortune to read it.
An appeal to the Uncyclopedia community
Seriously guys, if you don't want any more shitty issues like this I'm going to need help, or else the signpost is going to die like all the other well-intentioned projects that nobody bothers with. What we need is:
Thank you for your time.
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-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:55, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost Randomber 3th[edit]
The only newspaper that Codeine's mum has randomized
Date August 27th, 2009: THE RANDOM ISSUE • Issue 62 • Because the truth is not random enough
Random Headline
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
At 1:02 PM, lithiums advocated an anvil. While tit was feeling, magma suddenly eaten. It is better to anger a dragon than a woman. Sum Yung Gai exercises governor! Bishop rinses glycerin! CANDY' I DON'T HAVE AIDS'! To cut a long story short, coyote rinses fondue forks!
Did the judge convert...
As a rule, electric ballistic light cannon<choose> <option weight="25"></option> <option> plus Eleventy Billion Wednesday Bunyip 8:15 PM chief hockey Jack Phoenix writes in flagrante delicto Mad Dog 20-20 rooster an Ancient In contrast World Soviet Alliance 998,001 Unitarian-Universalism 1925 BC a stapler.
Babe Ruth was a total Bitch!
Look, I'm not saying he wasn't good at baseball! I'm not trying to destroy your great baseball heroes. But let's not kid ourselves here. Babe Ruth was a complete and total bitch. Come on. He couldn't catch the ball. And he whined at the umpires when people called him fat (even though he totally was). And he always talked about how much his feelings were hurt by people trying to buy him a beer.
Signpost Has Gone Officially Bat fuck Insane
Due to frequent lack of interest and excitement, this UnSignpost issue has now gone totally insa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Genital wart in the left politician! BOMB IRAN! HEIL CAJEK! Icelandic. water polo coach.
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Not in the slightest, please think of the I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I? cheeseburger with a large fries and a coke, plus a kids meals! —Sir Socky1px 1px 1px (talk) (stalk)11px GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 16:45, 7 September 2009
UnSignpost September 10/17[edit]
Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/17-09-09 This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:22, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009[edit]
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
September 24th, 2009 • Issue 65 • The Newspaper that Oscar Wilde Might Read Were He Still Among the Living
UnSignpost Subscriber List Trimmed; Remaining Subscribers Urged to Archive Issues, Settle Outstanding Bills, Refrain from Tipping Paperbots
This week, the hideously long UnSignpost subscription list was hacked down even further than The Woodburninator and others apparently hacked it down several months ago. This has resulted in a mass decline in the number of useless edits performed by paperbots and brave, bored souls who have nothing better to do than manually edit dozens of userpages on a weekly basis. The dregs that were cast off included those who have not registered an edit in six months, those who are permanently banned or close to it, and those with large, scary dogs that prevent paperbots from completing their routes unchewed.
The remaining faithful readers are asked to archive their talk pages if they are excessively long due to many hilarious editions of the UnSignpost, as paperbots are slowed down by the large load times of such pages, and paper-delivering users are likely to be distracted by uproarious back issues. Subscribers are also reminded that the monthly fee for talkpage delivery is seven Uncyclopedia credits. Extremely outdated Uncyclopedia currency, such as Yoinxx, will be subject to exceedingly unfair conversion rates. On a final note, readers are implored to avoid tipping paperbots, as it seems any sort of regular income tends to give robots inklings of sentience, and the last thing we need is Fnoodle organizing the paperbots into a rudimentary union again.
UFFL Update
It was another exciting week of UFFL action this past Sunday, with 75% of the league's games qualifying as "blowouts." Sternensteinenstine bested DiBiase's Millions 161.54 to 78.94, with the one-two Nazi punch of Drew Brees and Chris Johnson outscoring their helpless opponents alone. The John Curry All Stars had similar success with the Philip Rivers-Marques Colston-Frank Gore combination, and knocked out Cheddar's Doritians 123.74 to 71.64 in the fourth round. The bout between Domestic Team Name and Oklahoma City Storm went the distance, with Domestic "Team" Name coming away with the split decision 78.14 to 77.28. Finally, Frankreich "The Dude" Zappino demolished his opponent 126.42 to 0.00 in a spectacular first round knockout due to the fact that LL was once again unable to select his starting roster.
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Hand delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 16:37, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009[edit]
The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!
October 1st, 2009 • Issue 66• Now With 40% More Pictures of Cats with Humorous Captions!
Users Turn to PLS to Rescue Uncyclopedia from Decay, Doom, Worstness
The Eighth Semi-Annual Poo Lit Surprise Writing Competition & Brownie Bake-Off begins this Monday, October 5th when Olipro emerges from his house. If he is frightened by his shadow, writers are required to send him love letters; otherwise, writers have two weeks to squeeze all of the humor they can out of their mostly insignificant humor glands. This year's categories include Best Article, Best Illustrated Article, Best Kanye Joke, and Best Rewrite. The list of judges includes both esteemed Uncyclopedia veterans and former PLS winners; they will be sequestered in a two-star hotel for the duration of the competition in order to ensure the most convenient environment for receiving bribes.
This year's PLS Master of Ceremonies and Executive in Charge of Parking, Modusoperandi, humbly expressed optimism when asked about the quality of this installment: "This Poo Lit will be the Greatest PLS ever," said Mr. Operandi exclusively. "Anyone who says otherwise is as much of a liar as they are dumb, and they are plenty dumb. Ergo, they are also plenty liar. That made more sense in my head." Other users, who wished to remain anonymous since they regularly read the unflattering commentary often associated with being quoted in the UnSignpost, expressed hope that the PLS would revive the life-support-laden VFH and also stimulate the lagging Uncyclopedia economy.
Users Agree: 'Uncyclopedia is the Boringest'
This week, Uncyclopedia users denounced the recent lack of activity on the wiki. Necropaxx initiated the conversation, noting that activity on VFH, similar to the pants of the 'hip' crowd, has dropped to unacceptably low levels. Other users have responded, and the general consensus does indeed seem to be that overall, the site's quality has dropped below acceptable levels. Not since June '07, November '07, February '08, August '08, December '08, March '09, and May '09 has Uncyclopedia seen such a blatant claim that the entire website will imminently burst into a ball of some sort, with 'flame' being the most likely sort of ball.
Trusted UnSignpost undercover investigative reporter, DogNewspaper (pictured), infiltrated one such group of doom-saying users in order to obtain some first-hand declarations of the impending death throes of the wiki. "Yeah, with the number of quality articles readily available, I'd give Uncyclopedia two months at the most until it is absorbed into another humor website," said one user. Further commentary from this group of users was unavailable, as undercover investigative reporter DogNewspaper's cover was at this point compromised, as his unwavering loyalty to Uncyclopedia caused him to seize the infidel user's lower leg in his mouth and shake his head viciously. Please stay with the UnSignpost for up-to-the-week coverage of the impending(?) death of Uncyclopedia.
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Late deliver courtesy of Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 20:33, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost Sometime October 2009[edit]
The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things
October 8th, 2009 • Issue 67• Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.
The End is Nigh... Once Again
Yes, it's that time of the year again. Despite the hopes of many, Poo Lit Surprise did not instantly revive Uncyclopedia. We are doomed! DOOMED! But how did the great Uncyclopedia become such a wasteland, one may ask. It's all a big conspiracy, I tell you! All perpetrated by a mysterious figure, known only by the initials R.L. Perseveringly, this entity has claimed the lives of various Uncyclopedians, among them such users as SysRq, Cajek, YesTimeToEdit, Siddhartha-Wolf and most recently it seems R.L. has even gotten its grips on our own UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers. When confronted with the issue, noted favourite Jew and Zionist ruler Mordillo barely managed to exclusively tell us the following "I tell you Socky, I'd be happy to comment about our IMPENDING DOOM but I'm too busy packing. Another time maybe? HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! EASY WITH THE VASE! THAT'S FRAGILE! Sorry Sock, gotta scram, the movers are breaking my stuff. NO! DROP THAT BAN HAMMER! DROP IT I SAID!" Expert in things that suck (no pun intended), Optimuschris, was quoted saying "Uncyclopedia hasn't been cool since 08. Ban 09's." In conclusion, UN:N.
UFFL Update
The previous two weeks of the UFFL action have been filled with more intrigue than a mediocre James Bond movie. Two touchdownless games by Saints' quarterback Drew Brees cost Sternensteinenstine a win Week 3, though the team rebounded Week 4 and currently holds a solid second-place standing in the hyper-competitive UFFL. A resurgent Tom Brady and a balanced roster has led Domestic Team Name to two wins over the same period, as well as an unblemished 4-0 record. The Dudes' neglect to change their starting roster cost them a win in Week 4, knocking the former top dogs down to a less-than-remarkable 4th place. The John Curry All-Stars have been hampered by the loss of Frank Gore, and lost last week to a rejuvenated Dibiase's Millions that were led by a solid Aaron Rodgers-Matt Forte NFC North attack. A soft schedule has helped Oklahoma City Storm to a respectable 2-2 record, while the winless Doritians continue to struggle. Finally, The Winnerz put up mounds of points as Peyton Manning passed his way to his fourth consecutive 300-yard game…or at least would have if The Winnerz could figure out how to log in to Yahoo! and edit their roster.
In a look ahead to next week's games, Sternensteinenstine and the John Curry All-Stars will have to overcome bye weeks for both their starting quarterbacks to maintain their positions near the top of the league as they face off; Oklahoma City Storm looks to earn an easy win against a bye-week-ravaged Dibiase's Millions; The Dudes seek redemption as they attempt to reclaim their No. 1 position against the undefeated Domestic Team Name; and the league's bottom-dwelling, shit-eating, dog-fucking last-placers The Winnerz and Cheddar's Doritians both search for their first wins of the season.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 01:24, Oct 16
22nd 23rd October 2009[edit]
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!
October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448
Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers
As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point.
Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible.
Poo Lit Report
After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie.
This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason.
UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late."
Fantasy Football Update
Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six's storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid
In a look ahead to next week's games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar's Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase's Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier.
IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe.
Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe.
Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious.
On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 18:16, Oct 23
UnSignpost 29-10-2009[edit]
October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69
Better than ED, of course
After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with:
A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed.
On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia.
Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something.
Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings
In real sports, midseason is typically when "experts" make "predictions" about how "the rest of the season" will "play out," and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author's predictions for the rest of the season, by team:
1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine's dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world's largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind's most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties.
2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they'll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed).
3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn't have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed).
4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish
5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league's most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team's susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8.
6. Dibiase's Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase's Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10.
7. Cheddar's Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar's Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn't help, either. Finish 6-8.
8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn't be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 01:38, Nov 3
FUCK YOU![edit]
Late deliver courtesy of Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 00:04, December 30, 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost January several-days-agoth[edit]
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
Jan 14th, 2010 • Issue71 • Keeping You Guessing
Uncyclopedia Voting Season Arrives, Users Driven To Voting Frenzy
UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers.
From the desk of the Cabal: 2010 ordered to be Drama free
As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article.
Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles.
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I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter 25px 10:13, Jan 18
UnSignpost 21th January 2009[edit]
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news
Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised
In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd).
Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off!
Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry.
And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable!
But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers.
And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes!
For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously.
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Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 17:37, Jan 21
UnSignpost 28th January 2010[edit]
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!
Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.
Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things
Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence.
Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all.Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT!
Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press.
And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year.
Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 14:56, Jan 28
UnSignpost 4th February 2010[edit]
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
Feb 4th, 2010 • Issue 74 • Ain't It Uncool? News!
Spang Archives Talkpage; End of World Expected Imminently
Award Winners Speak Exclusively to UnSignpost
Well, there you go folks, looks like the "... of the Year" award voting is done and dusted for another year. Thanks to all who voted; without you, the admins would probably have less to do, which would obviously be dangerous. Anyway, that aside, your ever-topical Unsignpost went and mugged the various winners for comments on their various wins. Several of them, of course, have already made their feelings clear to those who voted for them by way of the traditional thanks templates. Apart from UU, because he's a lazy ass. Or because he's busy writing this. Whichever. Anyway again, for the benefit of those who didn't vote for the winners, and don't watch their talk pages, here's what they had to say:
Runaway WotY Hype said: "Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work. Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff!" He then went off to write another My Sojourn spin-off.
Even more runaway PotY Sonje said: "Thank you, I intend to return as soon as I can. I am currently in Africa with very limited internet access. I'll try to time my return to co-incide with the Oscars so that I can get some pointers for my acceptance speech." Admittedly, that was before we asked her for a comment, but then, she is in Africa with limited internet access.
Joint UotY Socky channeled Churchill to say: "*scrapes throat* Ahem! I would like to say to the community as I would say to anyone who joined this website: Uncyclopedia has nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs — Victory in spite of all error — Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. … That seems to be the wrong Churchill speech. Okay, I'll give it another try. *scrapes throat again* The gratitude of every home throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen and Belgian spies who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the Wiki War by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to two people. And so on and so on… Woot! Woot!" Long-winded bugger.
And other joint UotY UU said: "wow, Socky's already left me needing a lot of filler for the right panel, so I'll keep this shortish. First, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about?."
Oh, and Dr. Skullthumper was UGotY, but that was a foregone conclusion anyway. He didn't seem to have any comment of his own to make, so TKF hopped in to the breach with "I call the award a "fascist disgrace" and "move to permanently disbar Mike Socia, that ape from Lighting who made my mole visible to all of the goddamn world watching the ceremony."" Which about wraps it all up, I hope.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 15:15, Feb 4
UnSignpost 11th February 2010[edit]
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
Feb 11th, 2010 • Issue 75 • Picking the nuts of truth out of the muesli of news. Or something.
New way to win awards, impress friends, crush rivals!
Yes, that's right, The Article Whisperer is a competition that gives you the ideas to get you started, all you need to do is supply the funny. What could be easier? Well, since you ask, perhaps judging it could? Max is also looking for at least 4 more opinionated types, unafraid of passing withering judgement on their peers. If you're interested in judging or entering, or if you have a good idea that would elevate this competition from being a damn good idea to a colossally awesome one, let MadMax know either on his talk page, or on the article's talk page.
For those who want to selflessly improve the wiki while crushing all around them under the steel wheels of their genius, there can be no finer opportunity!
General news round-up
Mordillo nearly went mad attempting to feature all articles tied for tenth place in the top 10 of last year. And then spent the rest of this month to date patiently fielding questions about how long the rest of the featuring was going to take, and when normal featuring would resume. POTR did his best to help. When not asked for a quote, Mordillo said "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND SEE YOU IN 2011". We think he's just talking about the top 10, and not about taking a 10 month hiatus. That is, we hope so.
A recent VFD nomination ended in a deletion marathon, as MrN and RDB spent 2 hours removing every last trace of the notorious Game:Page. Apart from the traces Mordillo deleted, that is. And the redirects to it that UU took care of, come to think of it. But still, all told, an impressive act of mass carnage only made more awesome by the fact that they somehow managed to delete Socky's userpage at one point during the proceedings. MrN claims "Both RDB and me still have sore huffing fingers you know".
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 13:03, Feb 11
UnSignpost 18th February 2010[edit]
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!
Feb 18th, 2010 • Issue 76 • Now with 20% more vanity!
Understanding of the universe is shattered; Creation as we know it is defunct
One of the most controversial elements of religious understanding has been the answer to the question "How did we get here?" This has often been seen in the debate that has been long held between Creationists and Evolutionists. Now that Imperial Colonisation is back on its feet, under the able guidance of IC Buccaneer Admiral Why?, they are educating the masses on this as we speak.
"The article had been befouled by some evil doers, probably French or Spanish or Americans or worse. We are diligently researching and writing to bring the article in line with the Truth." stated Buccaneer Admiral Why?.
A dramatic re-write is in process, as Why? has all his seamen working towards the noble goal of indoctrinating the masses in Creationist theory. After some false starts involving a banana and a jar of peanut butter, the recreation of creationism is being created.
"The colonized article will show how the Empire has the right and duty to colonize everywhere by any methods available, and that anything we do is God's will. We will finish it by Saturday, 20 of February, or by Saturday, 27 of February, depending upon how long it takes us to colonize the natives. Anyone who wishes to apply to join our noble effort may do so at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization." Why? stated in closing.
Darwin awards - Uncyclopedia Stylie
Fortunately he showed the resilience that 10 year olds have when they are in the middle of doing something completely idiotic, and continued to trawl through people's talk pages, undo their edits, and generally be a dick. MrN9000, understanding the right balance of politeness and harshness, gave I LIKE PIE!!! a friendly message on his talk page, with a 1 week ban to support the severity of his words.
Undeterred, I LIKE PIE!!! later returned. 1 week and 35 minutes after his previous ban, MrN repeated his previous words to the young man, along with a further 1 week ban.
Thankfully, it appears that I LIKE PIE!!! took MrN's words to heart, as he managed to last a further 30 minutes after this second ban before he ran afoul of Roman Dog Bird, who in true RDB style demonstrated what an infinite ban actually means.
When hard-hitting journalists pressed for details relating to the banning of this pre-pubescent pestilence, MrN replied "What kinda a journalist are you man!?!"
Congratulations, I LIKE PIE!!!, for becoming the inaugural Uncyclopedia Darwin award winner, and removing yourself from the meme pool that we all enjoy.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 23:38, Feb 18
UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)[edit]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
Feb 25th, 2010 • Issue 77 • Slurping the froth of Truth off the cappuccino of News
Games, games and more games! We have more games then you can poke a stick at!
Is the games namespace 99.9% shit was the question elegantly asked by OptyC recently. A simple question that has sparked a storm in a teacup.
While Uncyclopedia is, undoubtably, the pinnacle of fine parody, it has been suggested the this particular poor cousin of the Main space has been allowed to fall into disrepair and disrepute due to the influx of poorly crafted content.
In the words of one editor Delete it. It's cruft and I'm not even sure if it qualifies as a parody namespace of anything on Wikipedia.
However, despite the lack of quality content, a significant portion of users have requested that it remain in play, however it be improved by having a little tender loving care given to it, along with a more rigid amount of cruft huffing.
As such, it is with open arms we welcome the inclusion into this realm of the new moderator of the Games namespace OptyC, who will be referred to going forward as the Game Master.
Upon the announcement of this singularly spectacular accolade, Optyc's first words were Maybe I shoulda just kept my mouth shut, eh? Although much respect must be levelled his way at the way he has taken to his new role with much gusto, winnowing through the chaff to find the kernels of wheat available in there.
For more information on these developments, visit Forum:The Games namespace.
It's Alive!
A new blow to the "democrats"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" of Uncyclopedia, opposing the disputed hereditary law. Senior member of the non existent Cabal and editor-in-chief-in-absentia of this newspaper, UU has announced the birth of heiress to the throne, also known as UUette. UUette was reportedly born holding a scepter and a miniature ban hammer, wearing a crown and QVFD grade galoshes and waving frantically at the hysterical cheering masses. The non existent cabal promptly announced a reserved seat for UUette in the VFS round of 2026 as well as the prestigious position of "Noob of the Month".
A shrouded spokesperson for the Cabal noted that "it would have been important for the Cabal, were it to exist, that the existing Cabal dynasty, especially one coming from such a quality genetic specimen such as UU, shall continue without disturbance. The Cabal is greatly pleased with UU and Mrs. UU for bolstering its numbers for the
Sporadic demonstration of support were noted around the Uncyclopedia realm, as supporters of the Cabal were seen with "DEAR UUette IS GREAT" and "ALL HAIL THE HEIR APPARENT" signs. So called "democratic"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" protests were dealt with swiftly and efficiently.
And from all of us in the UnSignpost here is one big congratulations UU, may your daughter have huge...errr..tracks of land.
9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 20:55, Feb 28
UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)[edit]
Now With 0 Trans Fat!
Mar 4th, 2010 • Issue 78 • Snorting the drug of Truth from the toilet seat of News
Controversy over Uncyclopedian leads journalist to public outcry
The "of the Month" nominations and celebrations have been marred recently by drama circulating in forums, talk pages and on vote pages in various areas. Fortunately, whenever and wherever a drama has reared its ugly head an Unsignpost reporter has been there to cover it.
Why do I need to provide this? is now experiencing his second week of not having been nominated for anything. After mentioning to a respected editor that he had been nominated for at least one award for almost every day he had been part of the Uncyclopedia community, he bemoaned the fact that he had not been nominated for anything this month.
"I've been nommed for something EVERY SINGLE DAY of the five months I've been here--until this month. I'm not nommed for anything. It's pretty depressing, really." Why? complained
As a result of this complaining, Why? was then nominated for an award that had been more respected in the breach then in the observance - to paraphrase the bard - Nomination of the Month.
When, after a series of events, Roman Dog Bird felt obliged to nominate Aleister in Chains' Nomination for NOTM of PuppyOnTheRadio's nomination for NOTM of Why do I need to provide this?'s nomination of PuppyOnTheRadio for UGotM, he simply stated "This is a stupid award."
Meanwhile, at UotM, discussion over the number of awards given out led to an obvious discussion about the worth of RotM and UotM, which of course led, as all conversational roads do, to the hugely popular and debatably talented Dan Brown, not to be confused with Dan Kwon, as we aren't quite sure who he is.
The debate got unexpectedly heated when a talented and handsome editor suggested that another less talented editor should perform carnal and bestial acts with random household appliances.
Remember to cast your vote in AotM, PotM, RotM, NotM and WotM, or nominate the uncyc member that has impressed you most in these areas.
And of course, always remember Mordillo's words, "This one is for people who made Uncyclopedia better by cleaning up shop, helping people and allow Uncyclopedia to wobble around without falling over."
Vote today. Or tomorrow - depending on if you have the time.
And with the current vote count standing at 6 in favour, and with few regularly active sysops left to vote, it looks like the chances are that there will be new sysops by the end of this month - so time to start deciding who you're gonna nominate! Who will be the next to have a thousand IPs ask them on their talkpage why they deleted their useless little one-line stub? Stay tuned to find out?
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 00:12, Mar 6
UnSignpost 11th March 2010[edit]
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
Mar 11th, 2010 • Issue 79 • Making the New York Times look shabby since 2008
Investigative journalist looks in to the cabal; Shocking discovery
Many veiled references have been made to this cabal, however until now there has been no real investigative attempts to uncover the shocking truth about the cabal.
However, despite this, one plucky rookie journalist has decided that the truth must be free, and an investigation into the cabal has been undertaken. Investigating this it appears that the rumours relating to a cabal have come from numerous sources. In investigating this there were a number of dead ends, including pages that appear to have been deleted with no history.
One source has come forward to expose the truth about the cabal. Under threat of repercussion, this source has been asked to be known simply as Deep Throat. Upon interviewing this source the following shocking truth has been discovered!
There is no cabal.
Any rumours about a supposed cabal are completely untrue. Any suggested sources are in fact fictional and have no veracity behind them. There is no shadowy, mysterious force guiding Uncyclopedia.
As I, as a respected journalist, have now been made well aware of the non-existence of this cabal, I am now comfortable to retire my journalistic career. I will shortly be taking a long trip to a very remote location where there is no phone or internet access and will choose to never write again.
I may even go to Antarctica.But most importantly, there is not now, nor never has been, a cabal.
A useful HowTo? does not compute!
If there were a Cabal (which, as the above article clearly establishes beyond doubt, there isn't), it would encourage you to read it and never write a bad UnNews again.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:05, Mar 12
Actually read the QVFD page and read the Uncyclopedia:Deletion Policy. Stop putting things onto QVFD until you know what you are doing. Currently you do not. If I see you putting any more things onto QVFD which are not valid I'm not going to be happy. MrN http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/e/e1/Goldboobs_Improved.jpg 15:43, Mar 12
- Particularly, don't list other users' userpages, and definitely don't list anything on QVFD that's over a year old. RTFM chum, OK? --UU - natter 25px 15:48, Mar 12
- Sounds good - - - Pie+Muffin = Greatness Barf- + -Observe 16:59, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)[edit]
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
Mar 18th, 2010 • Issue 80 • Hold the line! News isn't always on time!
VFS: it begins
Leading the popular vote at present is long-serving poopsmith and kvetcher RabbiTechno, gaining a seemingly unassailable lead by being helpful, friendly and competent, and by promising to bake cakes for all who vote for him - a ploy which may well have snared the support of more than just the odd swing voter.
In a comfortable position just behind the Rabbi is lengthily-monikered Belgian workhorse Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, the joint Uncyclopedian of the Year for 2009, who seems to be gathering followers by being helpful, competent, friendly, and doing loads and loads of stuff. This cunning stratagem has obviously endeared him to the denizens of this wiki, who seem to be propelling him towards having his own banstick.
But hold on, who's this coming up stealthily behind Socky? Why, it's pee review supremo and scourge of vandals everywhere ChiefjusticeDS! The Chief is steadily accumulating backers through the cunning tactic of being competent, helpful and friendly. He also rules PEEING with an iron fist, and spends inordinate amounts of time cleaning and tidying up the place, facts that have led to him coming within striking distance of the leaders in what appears to be a three-horse race.
One thing is clear from this - all 3 of the most popular candidates appear to be helpful and friendly, which this newspaper finds unacceptable - where is the next Famine going to come from? where will we find an admin willing to infiban users and delete all their articles just for looking at someone the wrong way, or for being Kip the Dip?
Also nominated, and receiving some support are current Writer of the Year and greatest person in the history of all things ever Hyperbole, diplomat by Uncyc appointment to all religions Optimuschris, canine broadcaster and damn fine journalist PuppyOnTheRadio, allcaps-named VFD machine SPIKE, confirmed female on the internets Zana Dark, easy-to-spell feature-machine Guildensternenstein and jaded old-timer Necropaxx.
Other people have been nominated without recording a score as yet, but as this article is already long enough to have the editor wondering how many filler boxes he can dream up for the right-side panel this week, they just appear as a brief list: Mnbvcxz, Cajek, Gerrycheevers, Syndrome, The Woodburninator, Why do I need to provide this?, Charitwo and some bloke called Mhaille. Will any of them pick up a sympathy vote before the end of voting round 2?
Positions vacant.
The Imperial Colonization is a long standing organisation that has for years been at the cutting edge of creativity of articles for one of the world's most respected websites: Uncyclopedia. Due to a period of unprecedented growth during a time of economic downturn, as most of our members are otherwise unemployed, we are looking for a new assistant to the head of IC. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to work from home.
Your daily duties will include:
The relevant applicant will have:
This is a rare opportunity. The successful applicant will become next in line to take over the reins of IC when the current head
To apply, contact Why do I need to provide this? here.
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9001(bot) http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:49, Mar 18
UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)[edit]
The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!
Mar 25th, 2010 • Issue 81 • So full of news, our news-gut hangs over our news-jeans
VFS reaches third and final round, Uncyclopedians bored to tears
Once again, the Rabbi appears to be in pole position, and there are rumours that Mordillo is already preparing him a traditional Jewish banstick, such is his current lead. Meanwhile, Sock and Chief are neck-and-neck for the second slot, polling three votes each currently. When he interviewed himself for this article, lazy journalist UU exclusively told us: "this reflects well on the site - we have three great, very strong candidates, any and all of whom would do a great job if opped. And a number of those who didn't make it to round 3 will probably make a much stronger showing next time. If there is a next time."
All that remains now is to see how the final few days affect the vote, and who finally gets the supreme honour of being able to go delete every single page of shitloads of crappy games that have been nommed on VFD, and the like. Joins us next week for the "From Our Logs" new admin special, when we analyse their first bans, and watch as these new admins mercilessly ban the unlucky loser and abuse their new powers flagrantly. Hopefully.
Top 5 Of-The-Months Become 90% Cheesier
Well known and completely badass user CheddarBBQ, known for his increasing his own self-image, and for being one of the coolest guys ever, has now set a record by being nommed for all four "big" nominations in the same month. Even more impressive, he has been nommed for these four without doing much of anything deserving of awards (besides the aforementioned alleged coolness and/or badassedness). The always tasty Eyetallyan snackfood has been able to hold tightly to last place in each one of these all month.
When asked about his newfound record, the great man/food had this to say: "I always knew I was special. The bag of cheese curls that I referred to as "Mommy" for 15 years would tell me so on a regular basis. Also, suck it bitchez."
Of course the amazing record-breaker would think well of himself, so we went elsewhere, to question his adopted son, Momo. When asked about the excitement over the record, Momo claimed, "Papa De La Rosa is, like, the greatest dad ever, I used to have so much fun with him when I was little. Ya know, he once left me inside an oven when I was a baby, went for a beer and got me out the following morning. That was fun, I'm tellin' ya. And when I was 4, he left me in an amusement park, went for a beer and came to pick me up a whole week later. I spent that week with that nice guy who kept touching my ass.. Good times.. When I was 7, he took me for a beer. And by the age of 14, we were running our small liquor-smuggling business.. Oh yeah, he's a great guy." Curiously, his comment did not much relate to the matter at hand, yet it was deemed necessary to include it anyway. It appears to be abundantly clear that Cheddar is a marvel of a man whom we can all look up to. In other news, it appears that Don Chedds is about to set another record by being the first Uncyclopedian to drastically lose all five major awards in one month. It appears to be abundantly clear that Cheddar is a marvel of a man whom we can all look up to. Here's to you, CheddarBBQ.
Oh yeah, and some other people had something to do with it as well.
Note: The writer of this article has decided that a fact check as to whether or not either of these are true records would be unnecessary.
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--ChiefjusticeDS 22:41, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.[edit]
The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.
Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand![1]
We deliver on our promises
As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition.
Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us.
Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded.
So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far.
If you are interested in helping to
Spinning some new yarns
Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes.
Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was
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Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 20:16, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.[edit]
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!
Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...
Something Scary This Way "Comes"
A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction.
When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned.
The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon.
I See IC All At Sea
We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things.
Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).
|UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
--ChiefjusticeDS 21:21, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 1 May[edit]
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!
April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here
The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe.
"Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it."
Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory.
For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER."
Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still
There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves."[1]
One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook."
Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something.
Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed.
One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years"
Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine,
And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners.
The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia
|UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky1px 1px 1px (talk) (stalk)11px GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 11:38, 1 May 2010


text:
Welcome to the PETERwHART Gallery!
Strategically located in the heart of historic Old Montreal, opposite the Bonsecours Market, PETERwHART Gallery offers the contemporary pieces of artist Peter W. Hart in sumptuous surroundings. In this warm and spacious atmosphere, where brick walls converge with thick metal doors, blending the old and new, visitors can appreciate the dynamics of every painting.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
ASU Electronic Theses and Dissertations
This collection includes most of the ASU Theses and Dissertations from 2011 to present. ASU Theses and Dissertations are available in downloadable PDF format; however, a small percentage of items are under embargo. Information about the dissertations/theses includes degree information, committee members, an abstract, supporting data or media.
In addition to the electronic theses found in the ASU Digital Repository, ASU Theses and Dissertations can be found in the ASU Library Catalog.
Dissertations and Theses granted by Arizona State University are archived and made available through a joint effort of the ASU Graduate College and the ASU Libraries. For more information or questions about this collection contact or visit the Digital Repository ETD Library Guide or contact the ASU Graduate College at firstname.lastname@example.com.
- Prakash, Nitin
- Heydt, Gerald T.
- 1 Arizona State University
- 1 Ayyanar, Raja
- 1 Vittal, Vijay
- 1 Public
- Energy
- Power
- Renewable
- 1 Distributed generation
- 1 Electrical engineering
- 1 Photovoltaics
- 1 Solar
- Reverse Fountain Cytoplasmic Streaming in Rhizopus Oryzae
- Diné Research Practices and Protocols: An Intersectional Paradigm Incorporating Indigenous Feminism, Critical Indigenous Research Methodologies and Diné Knowledge Systems
- Developing an Augmented Reality Solution for Mapping Underground Infrastructure
- Characterization of 2D Human Ankle Stiffness during Postural Balance and Walking for Robot-aided Ankle Rehabilitation
- Using Molecular, Cellular and Bioengineering Approaches Towards Understanding Muscle Stem Cell Biology
At present, almost 70% of the electric energy in the United States is produced utilizing fossil fuels. Combustion of fossil fuels contributes CO2 to the atmosphere, potentially exacerbating the impact on global warming. To make the electric power system (EPS) more sustainable for the future, there has been an emphasis on scaling up generation of electric energy from wind and solar resources. These resources are renewable in nature and have pollution free operation. Various states in the US have set up different goals for achieving certain amount of electrical energy to be produced from renewable resources. The Southwestern region of …
- Contributors
- Prakash, Nitin, Heydt, Gerald T., Vittal, Vijay, et al.
- Created Date
- 2013


text:
MaxBulk Mailer™
Review us on
Stan Busk
December 5, 2020
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text: Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums :: View topic - What do you about attitude of modern Thai teenagers ? Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!" FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in What do you about attitude of modern Thai teenagers ? Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Culture View previous topic :: View next topic Author Message new kidJoined: 16 Jan 2003Posts: 1 Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2003 7:05 am Post subject: What do you about attitude of modern Thai teenagers ? According to Dusit plore's survey, This survey is about attitude of modern Thai teenagers with staying together before marry.Subjects of Dusit plore were 1,437 teenagers in Bangkok. This survey shows that most of them (61.26%) think staying together before marry is normal while few of them (28.61%) don't think so because they think staying together before marry is conflict with Thai culture and they think that it isn't fair for women.I think staying together before marry has many advantages because we can know character of our couple and many things that we can't know if we don't stay together.Although it has many advantages, I think it isn't appropriate for Thai society.Finally staying together before marry is depend on your attitude and your society Back to top pornparnJoined: 25 Jan 2003Posts: 2 Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:44 pm Post subject: reply from Ms. Jittima In my opinion, Most of people chose to live together before marrying because they want to know and understand more about their lovers. At the first time, when they choose to be boyfriend or girlfriend, they would present all the good way to each other but it is not actual thing for them. So when they become closer and live together, they will know each other for a long time. Everything cant be hide, they will become themselves and they can know that they can live together or not. However, This survey is about teenagers opinion and I think that most of them are students. So if they love someone and they choose to live together while they are studying, it doesnt appropriate and it is conflict with Thais tradition also. Moreover, it will cause many problems if they live together and woman has pregnant before marrying. Certainly most of Thais cant accept it because they may think that woman doesnt have prestige and she will be insulted from her friends. Furthermore if her boyfriend doesnt accept her baby, it will cause problems again such as suicide, abandon child, etc. On the contrary, If they marry before living and have a baby, the baby will be accepted from her husband and Thais social by law and those problems would not happen. By the way, living before marriage or marriage before living has both advantage and disadvantage but I think that the important thing to help we live together are understanding, accepting, real and forgiving. From Miss Jittima Monvisrut No. 45213912 Microbiology (LNG 103)_________________FON Back to top Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Culture All times are GMT - 8 Hours Page 1 of 1 Jump to: Select a forum Student Forums----------------ComputersCurrent NewsCultureEnglish SchoolsFamilyFilm and CinemaFoodHealth and FitnessHelp CenterHobbiesHolidaysLearning EnglishLiteratureMaking FriendsMusicOpinionsPetsScienceSportsThe Strange and MysteriousTOEFL and Other English ExamsTravel You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot vote in polls in this forum Dave's ESL Cafe is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling. Banner Advertising | Bookstore / Alta Books | FAQs | Articles | Interview with Dave Copyright © 2018 Dave's ESL Cafe | All Rights Reserved | Contact Dave's ESL Cafe | Site Map Teachers College, Columbia University: Train to Teach English Here or Abroad Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group


text:
I am working on behalf of a number of leading Digital Agencies around London, UK who are looking for Java Developers with Spring/Hibernate and preferably Groovy/Grails but an interest in learning this is enough.
Salary is dependant on experience, but is very competitive.
PM me for more details or call 0203 697 1246 to discuss these fantastic opportunities.


text:
Wings Inspired by Led Zeppelin Rock Tank Top Womens White
Women's white rock tank top "Wings" inspired by Led Zeppelin the 1970s English Rock music legends. The mighty Led Zeppelin was in a league of their own and brought on the era of hard rock with with a gentle side as well. A winged woman flying through the psychedelic cosmos searching for her male counterpart and dancing all the way!
Infinitee T-shirts


text:
Now showing items 1-3 of 3
Construction dig for new Rice Institute Stadium
(Rice University, 1950)
New Rice Stadium construction, with Brown and Root construction machinery in foreground
(Rice University, 1950)
Brown and Root constructed the stadium in 1950 at cost, with payments financed by twenty-year seat options. At the time, Rice's football team was ranked fifth in the nation.
Rice Stadium construction, view from exterior with crane on left side
(Rice University, 1950-05-23)
Photograph is numbered 4


text:
What if an earthquake struck while the children were at school and you were at work, or a flood destroyed your home? What if a chemical spill required your family to stay in the home for an extended period of time?
According to Carolyn Washburn, Utah State University Extension associate professor, the fear of not knowing what to do, how to gather and care for loved ones and how to survive until help arrives is often more traumatizing than the actual disaster. By preparing now for a disaster, families can diminish fear and loss in the event of a calamity.
September is National Preparedness Month, a great time for people to begin designing a family preparedness plan. The Ready Campaign and Citizen Corp organizations are now in their 10th year of encouraging awareness and preparedness for families and are helpful resources.
Disasters affect thousands of people every year in the United States and worldwide, disrupting daily functions and leaving lasting effects, but the American Red Cross reports that only 65 percent of American's have emergency preparedness plans in place.
"When families have a plan in place, each family member can feel a sense of security and have the necessary tools to survive," said Washburn. "For Utah, the biggest threat is a major earthquake; however, the most common occurrences are floods, which affect and destroy many homes and properties each year, and wildfires that rage throughout the state projecting heat, ash and smoke. It may be impossible for your family to prepare for all disasters, but they should be informed of the most likely disasters and have a plan in place."
Washburn recommends building an emergency plan with the following:
- Points of contact — Make sure that family members know how and where to reunite with each other.
- Secure food — Begin with a 3-week supply and then work toward building a longer-term supply.
- Additional items — Include batteries, flashlights, gas and portable radio.
- 72-96 hour emergency kits — Have one for each family member (including pets) and one for each vehicle. According to Cindy Nelson, USU Extension assistant professor, the following contents should be included: first aid kit, including basic first aid supplies and necessary medications for allergies, pain, etc.; snacks, water, non-perishable foods and a can opener; water bottle with a purifier or a filter so water from a stream or melted snow can be used; emergency thermal blanket to provide warmth or shelter; warm clothing including gloves; microfiber towels that are highly absorbent and quick drying and/or compressed towels to save space; tissues or toilet paper; diapers for those with young children; matches or a lighter; cash (small bills); notebook and pen; contact information for family members, doctor, insurance, mechanic, etc., either on a piece of paper or stored in a cell phone; and car charger for cell phone as well as a backup charger that is either battery or solar powered.
According to the National Terror Alert Response Center, no matter who you are or where you live, you can be touched or devastated by a calamity, terrorist attack or natural disaster. Preparing for an emergency now provides the best chance of survival. Emergency preparedness should always be considered in the home, workplace and school.
"Once you are prepared, help others build their emergency plans so we have safe, strong communities," Washburn said.
Related link:
Utah State University Extension
Writer: Julene Reese, 435-797-0810, email@example.com
Contact: Carolyn Washburn, 435-634-2692, firstname.lastname@example.com


text:
Topic: Is "Fett's Vette" disrespectful to Fett?
I'm not shure waht to think of it. I don't like rap music but i liked this. Maybe it was all the colors and stuff. But i'm not sure it was really respectful to Boba. He wouldn't dance like that, (maybe he would I know alot of you know more about Boba than me so if you know of a place in a book or flyer or somthting that says how he dances let me know), it kind of made him look silly. If you want to watch something that definietlly (sp) doesn't look silly check out this video.
It's my acting real.
(hey, if there's any casting directors out there, I would definitely consider working for a dicsounted rate for a Fett fan! So, PLEASE, post me how to reach you.)
Shoot for your dreams and you will be true to yourself (sp).


text:
Click Here to Return to the Finding Aids List
Return to Previous Page
View / Search Full Finding Aid
Print this Section
Evan Hopkins Turner Records
Collection Summary
Information for Researchers
Administrative Information
Historical Note
Scope and Content Note
Arrangement Note
Series Outline
I. Subjects, Museum correspondence
II. Bicentennial records
III. Closing and reinstallation records
IV. By-laws files
V. Professor Albert Elsen correspondence
VI. Association of Art Museum Directors records
VII. American Association of Museums Records
VIII. American Federation of the Arts records
IX. Associated Council of the Arts records
X. National Endowment for the Arts, National Endowment for the Humanities records
XI. Budgets
XII. Personal files
A. Subjects
B. Correspondence
C. Museum history and general information
D. Fairmount Park Art Association
Evan Hopkins Turner Records
Evan Hopkins Turner Records
1952-1978, n.d.
Finding Aid
Philadelphia Museum of Art
P.O. Box 7646
Philadelphia, PA 19101-7646
Funded by a grant from The Gladys Kriebel Delmas Foundation
©2007 Philadelphia Museum of Art
© 2020 Philadelphia Museum of Art. All rights reserved


text:
By Chrystal Knight
Monday's deadline for submitting petitions to get issues on the ballot for the November election brought the lobbyists out in droves. Those who are hoping to block the building of a second bridge connecting Detroit and Canada by putting the issue to a vote were among those who bombarded the Secretary of State's office with boxes of signatures.
In the meantime, one Delray pastor does not share the sentiments of the lobbyists, or many of his fellow Delrayans who don't want the second bridge. Bishop Phillip Pulliam, 83, of Jehovah Jireh Church on S. Harbaugh Street, was praying that the New International Crossing announced last month by Gov. Rick Snyder, would give him the opportunity to sell the old church he can no longer maintain.
However, after learning that the building of the second bridge would stop just ten blocks from his church, Bishop Pulliam was deeply disappointed. For almost 30 years he devoted his time and money driving around the city to feed and clothe the needy, but now he's facing health and financial problems of his own.
Once a lively, stately edifice in what used to be the thriving community of Delray, Jehovah Jireh Church now sits on a lonely corner, in need of reconstruction and revitalization.
"I'm praying for my Timothy to come along," Bishop Pulliam said, referring to the young pastor of the Bible whom the Apostle Paul groomed to take over his ministry.
Although, his "Timothy" has not surfaced as of yet, Bishop Pulliam has been surrounded with generous and caring people to assist him when he needs help. However, with only a few members still attending his church, the bishop was left with no other option but to halt the main services and focus on his health. Right now, he has daily physical therapy sessions and has live-in assistance around the clock. There are bills to pay and work around the church to be done. However, with unwavering faith, sitting in Bishop Pulliam fervently prays for answers.
"The Lord told me to name my church Jehovah Jireh for a reason and I believe He will come through," he said clasping his hands together and looking up. In the Bible, Jehovah Jireh is the name given to God by Abraham, after he was provided with a ram in the bush, sparing him from having to sacrifice his only son. Jehovah Jireh means, "The Lord will provide." So, with that in mind, Bishop Pulliam continues to pray and wait for the answers he is sure will come.
Jehovah Jireh Church address is 441 S. Harbaugh Street, Detroit, Michigan 48209, and Bishop Pulliam can be reached at (313) 842-4525.


text:
Regular price
Townline Furniture are beautifully made by Amish Woodcrafters are available in Brown Maple, Hard Maple, Red Oak, White Quarter Sawn Oak, Cherry, Hickory and others. (60" x 20" x 84") Other sizes Available. Please come to our Showroom and see the quality. This price is in Brown Maple. Different Stains, Paints and Finishes are available.


text:
Ouin L'spraye Tiznit Morocco Coach Training Classes, Courses, Workshop, Seminars and Certification
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The 100% online training shares the most effective, easy-to-follow coaching system for Life Strategies Coaches in Ouin L'spraye, Tiznit, Morocco, including a blueprint for a successful life coaching business and the strategies that you will need to help change lives. The certification combines the latest advancements in human potential and neuroscience with proven methods of success used by the world's most productive people. It's truly a formula for your success.
Why become a certified Life Strategies Coach?
If you are passionate about helping others, a coaching certification from the Spencer Institute will help you:
· Attract clients who will enhance your life as you do the same for them
· Create a home-based business that allows for flexible hours and location and a lucrative salary
· Learn to bring out the best in others
· Find a career that you really love while making a difference in the world
Life strategies coaches are great listeners who learn to make grounded assessments of clients, create customized training programs, develop targeted motivational strategies, turn doubt into action, and help others enjoy their lives to the fullest.
As a Life Strategies Coach, you will also enjoy endless career and business options…
· You can coach clients one-on-one in a home- or office-based business
· You can create group coaching sessions around particular topics (career success, self-confidence, achieving goals or healthy relationships, for example)
· You can write a book or a blog or host a podcast
· You can consult with businesses on specific life coaching topics
· You can inspire your friends and family
You can truly do whatever you dream of doing with the right certification program.
Sound amazing? Too good to be true?
Fortunately, it's not. You can make the life-changing decision to begin Life Strategies Coach training right now!
The Spencer Institute Life Strategies Coaching Training certification offers a self-paced path to your success. Learn more or get started today!
Country = Morocco (MA)
Region = Tiznit
City = Ouin L'spraye
Latitude: 29.55 Longitude -9.2


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About this download
This program will update VAIO Transfer Support to version 1.1.2.06030 and resolve the following symptoms:
- Internet connection issue
- New interface to VAIO Folder Watcher is also supported.
Available Downloads:
VAIO Transfer Support Update version 1.1.2.06030
File name: EP0000600160.exe
File size: 13.52 MB (14171648 bytes)
File Info
File Name
- To install VAIO Transfer Support Update version 1.1.2.06030
File Version
- 1.1.2.06030
File Size
Release Date
- 2010-06-23
System Requirements
- Windows 7 64bit
- Windows 7 32bit
1. Download the file to a temporary or download directory (Please note this directory for reference later).
2. Go to the directory where the file was downloaded and double-click EP0000600160.exe.
3. Follow the instructions displayed in the installation wizard.
4. After installation is completed, please restart the computer
To check if installation is successful:
1. Go to C:\ProgramFiles\Sony\VAIO Transfer Support\
2. Version.txt should indicate 1.1.2.06030