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It's not you, it's me.
—George Costanza, Seinfeld
The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.
That statement might not make complete sense right now. It might, in fact, seem downright offensive. What? Turn the focus away from my children and onto myself? Isn't that against all the rules?
No, it isn't. I'm not proposing that you put your children last on the list. Far from it. What I am saying is that by focusing on yourself, you will have a healthier, happier relationship with your whole family.
You see, most of us have been operating with a faulty model of how to live in our relationships. That's not to say our relationships are all faulty, but the model sure is. We've been operating with a model that says in order to have healthy relationships, we need to focus on meeting other people's needs, trying to serve them and make them happy.
To even question such a model draws controversy, I know, but stay with me. By focusing on yourself, you will have a healthier, happier relationship with your whole family.
This book is going to talk about why this model is so faulty, particularly in our parent-child relationships. For now, there are a few simple things we should consider. First, it's a given that there are things in this world we can control and things we cannot control. Now ask yourself this question: How smart is it to focus your energy on something you can't do anything about, something you cannot control?
Answer: Not very.
Follow-up question: Which category do your kids fall into? In other words, are your children something you can control or something you cannot control? Here's an even tougher question: Even if you could control your kids, should you? Is that what parenting is all about? And what if it's not the kids who are out of control?
A fundamental assertion of this book is that God wants us to parent our children the way he parents us. Think about how he relates to you. Does he constantly hover around you trying to make you completely comfortable? Is God some kind of control freak, pulling your strings and manipulating your every choice? Of course not! God is concerned about you, but he does not allow you to set his agenda. He always acts out of his own integrity. What would your relationships look like if you started to do the same?
Who's Really Out of Control Here?
My kids, Hannah and Brandon, were four and two, and it was one of those Saturday mornings. My wife, Jenny, and I had stayed up way too late on Friday night, which guaranteed that our kids would get up way too early the next day. And so the weekend began with a lot of whining and crying and complaining—and the kids were upset as well.
So I decided, in my parenting expert wisdom, to get us all out of the house. Let's go to Waffle House for breakfast.
Now the first Waffle House we walked into was just too full, but, thankfully, there is no shortage of Waffle Houses in suburban Atlanta. So, we piled back into the car, strapped our children into their car seats, quieted disappointed whines with promises of lots of maple syrup, and drove the hundred yards or so to a second Waffle House. And the line at the second one was just as long as the first.
There was no way we were getting the kids back into the car for another trip, however, so we decided to wait it out. Thankfully, the staff at this Waffle House were thinking—they had crayons and blank paper for the kids. My wife and I could even get in a little adult conversation. A win-win situation.
As if that weren't enough, a sign caught my eye. If my children drew a picture, they were entitled to a paper Waffle House hat—just like the grill man wears—and a free waffle.
Sometimes life is good. The kids colored. My wife and I talked. The time flew and before we knew it, we were seated—my wife and daughter on one side of the booth, my son and I on the other. They brought the kids their paper hats, and I even tried one on.
If you've never been to a Waffle House, you would be amazed at the consistency of their architecture. All the tables surround the kitchen, and wall-length windows surround the tables. It's very open, and it's easy to notice the goings-on of others.
Now, while I was feeling pretty good by this time, my kids hadn't eaten anything all morning. Hungry kids who've done nothing but wait around can be…restless. Hannah, our four-year-old, handled it all right, just garden-variety complaints. But Brandon, our two-year-old, sure was feeling two years old, if you know what I mean. Two-year-olds generally have no regard for things like "practicing an inside voice" or "using words like a big boy" when they've been forced in and out of a car with nothing to eat but promises. Cooperating with me was not high on his list of priorities at the time. Enjoying a nice family breakfast didn't seem like such a good idea now.
But I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I'm a relationship coach. I know how to control myself and keep from losing my temper. I know better than to react and resort to yelling and violent acts of coercion. I can stay calm in the face of increasing levels of anxiety.
But then my son threw his fork on the floor. My resolve began to fade.
The fork made a loud noise, causing all the people around us to look at me. Some of them even pointed and whispered (at least that's what it felt like they were doing). I looked over at my perfect wife sitting there with my perfect daughter. There is an unwritten rule among parents with multiple kids: Whoever is sitting on your side is on your watch. So while the women in my life are enjoying this angelic scene of cooperation and intimacy, my son and I are on the verge of World War III.
Nothing is making him happy, nothing is stopping him from the beginning stages of an all-out tantrum. Finally, his waffle arrives and I think the battle will be over soon. So, I start to cut the waffle up, but he doesn't want the waffle cut up. Maybe he wants to eat the whole thing with his hands in one bite, I don't know. I do know I'm feeling closer and closer to my own emotional edge.
But I'm the expert on human relationships, right? I'm the one planning to write a book someday called ScreamFree Parenting. Was I going to allow a two-year-old to push my buttons?
You bet I was. See, the fork got such a great response, my son began to wonder what might happen if he threw his waffle—plate and all—on the floor.
Here's what might happen: Daddy might lose his cool! And that's precisely what did happen.
I hastily apologized to the people with syrup splatter on their feet and then snatched Brandon out of his booster seat. Then I apologized to the man sitting in the booth behind us after Brandon's foot hit him in the back of the head.
And then we stormed out of the restaurant. All eyes were fixed on us as my son kept screaming. And kicking. And hitting.
I was seething as I pushed the door open with such force that it rattled the glass walls. The reverberating structure got everyone's attention. The entire restaurant saw me outside on the sidewalk, yelling at my son, using big words, asking rhetorical questions, puffing out my chest, pointing my finger, and intimidating a boy who couldn't have stood more than thirty-six inches tall. What a big man I was!
Finally, somehow, the ugly scene ended. Brandon and I returned to our seats to complete our nice family breakfast. And there sat Jenny, my loving and faithful wife. I think she wanted to say something supportive and reassuring, but she just couldn't contain the smirk. I was a volcano looking for an excuse to erupt.
"What?" I barked.
"Nice hat."
It was then that I realized the paper Waffle House hat still sat squarely on top of my head. The entire scene had taken place with a silly hat on top of a silly man who wanted nothing more than to be taken seriously.
Our Biggest Enemy as Parents
Truth be told, I didn't need the hat to make me look foolish. I had done that myself with my knee-jerk reactivity. In fact, that kind of emotional reaction is our worst enemy when it comes to having great relationships. Let me say that again: Emotional reactivity is our worst enemy when it comes to having great relationships.
If you don't get anything else from this book, get this: Our biggest struggle as parents is not with the television; it's not with bad influences; it's not even with drugs or alcohol. Our biggest struggle as parents is with our own emotional reactivity. That's why the greatest thing we can do for our kids is learn to focus on us, not them. Instead of anxiously trying to control our kids, let's concentrate on what we can control—calming our own emotional, knee-jerk reactions.
What's so damaging about being too reactive? Keep reading. The next couple of chapters will make it clear. For now, consider this: How can we have any influence on our children's decision-making if we don't have an influence on our own? When we get reactive, we get regressive. That is, we shrink back to an immature level of functioning.
Think of me at Waffle House. In an effort to get my two-year-old to stop acting so immaturely, I became just as immature. How effective can that be? I've come to realize that if I get loud and scary and intimidating, I may get compliance eventually, but at what price? I may have screamed my son into submission at Waffle House, but what type of relationship will I have with him if I continue to parent by reactive intimidation? If we want to be influential, then we have to first bring ourselves under control. Only then can we choose our response.
Only then can we choose how we want to behave, regardless of how our children choose to behave. Think about Jesus. He was constantly being misunderstood. His authority was frequently called into question. He had plenty of people trying to derail him from his mission and goal. But he refused to let them push his buttons. He knew who he was, where he had come from, and what he was going to do. If people wanted to follow him, he encouraged them. If people wanted to walk away, no matter how sad it may have made him, he let them walk away. Because he refused to manipulate or coerce, he maintained the moral authority needed to be the greatest influence the world has ever known.
So if emotional reactivity is our biggest enemy, where does it come from? More important, what can we do about it? Most of us cannot think of a more terrifying emotion than feeling overwhelmed. We can feel scared, exhausted, worried, or angry, but nothing shuts us down, stops us in our tracks, and causes us to throw up our hands in futility like feeling overwhelmed. When we feel incapable of coping with, handling, or accomplishing all we have to do, we are overwhelmed. When it seems as if even if we weren't so tired and so frustrated we still couldn't keep all the plates spinning, that's about as scary as it gets. When we feel stretched beyond our limits, that's when we just want to quit.
And I can think of no more accurate description of how most of us parents feel far too much of the time. Far too often, we feel overwhelmed. We feel overstretched, overcommitted, underprepared, and underappreciated. That's a recipe for feeling overwhelmed. As a result, most of us feel a gnawing sense of inadequacy. We don't just feel like bad parents, we feel like failures.
And unfortunately, our role as parents is the one area of life where we cannot afford to fail. If there is one area where we feel the pressure of absolute success, it is with our parenting.
After all, we are bombarded with messages about the importance of time with our kids, involvement in our kids' lives, and putting our family first among our priorities.
Magazines are crammed with articles dispensing the newest parenting techniques and advice.
Studies consistently show the ill effects of bad parenting. Churches preach the need to put families first. With all of this pressure comes just more fear and feelings of inadequacy.
And then there's the most intense pressure of all: How we do as parents will reverberate throughout history. We are raising the next generation, and they will either continue the success and progress of past generations or they will erase it all. Anyone feeling overwhelmed?
Parenting is serious business. The stakes are unbelievably high. The cost of failure is unimaginable. I know you feel the intense weight of performing as a parent. You may wonder if you're the only one who sometimes feels inadequate, even inept. You may wonder: Is it supposed to be this hard? The answer is yes. And no. Yes, parenting is hard, and it's supposed to be. We'll get to that in the next few chapters.
But no, we don't have to feel this much pressure. We don't have to feel overwhelmed.
The Most Damaging Lie About Parenting
The reason we feel so overwhelmed is because most of us are attempting to follow an impossible model. And it is fueled by a dangerous lie. Here is the most damaging lie about parenting: We are responsible for our children.
I know that to even question such a statement sounds ridiculous. "Of course I'm responsible for my kids…who else would be?" I can only ask you to bear with me and keep reading.
You see, most people would define parenting like this: "It is our job as parents to get our children to think, feel, and, especially, behave the right way. It is our job to get our children to be good." Of course that's right, right? Wrong.
Now, let me be clear. In my experience working with families, I've seen the devastating effects of terrible parenting on now-grown adults. Certainly we have a profound amount of influence on how our kids turn out. This book will illustrate the power we have to shape our children. In fact, I don't think we can overestimate this influence we have on future generations.
But what that really means is that we have a far greater responsibility to our children than we have for our children. Let me say that again, so it will sink in. We are much less responsible for our children than we've ever been told.
However, we have a far greater responsibility to our children than we've ever realized. Most of us feel like we're responsible for our children. Sure, they're totally dependent on us right from the beginning. But let's think about that for a moment. If we are responsible for our children, then we have a really big problem. How long did it take you to realize that your child had a mind of her own? Early on, our children start to make their own choices. This is part of growing up. In truth, this is growing up. Even in infancy our kids start to embrace their God-given ability to make decisions about what they will and will not do. They begin to choose how they feel, how they think, and how they behave.
I know this concept is simplistic, but it carries all the seeds of our frustration in raising kids. They simply make different choices than we want them to make! They choose to yell and scream in the grocery store. They choose not to do their homework. They choose to break curfew and disrespect our rules. They choose to throw their waffles on the floor in front of a restaurant full of people!
If you are responsible for your children, then you have to figure out how to program them to make the "right" choices. And you need to do it quickly. You have to learn the right techniques to get them to think, feel, and behave according to your definition of "good."
All of this sounds alarmingly like obedience training. It comes as no surprise, then, to find parenting books at your local bookseller written by animal trainers. "What works for Fido can work for your child!"
If you're totally responsible for coercing your children into being good, then it makes perfect sense to enlist some program or system like that. I, for one, cannot imagine our Creator wants us to treat children like animals. Such an approach may make parents feel big and in charge, but it leaves children feeling small and incompetent. This is certainly not the way our heavenly Father deals with us.
The fact that our children have been given the power of choice, as self-directed human beings, can thwart even the best obedience-training program. Children will soon realize they are in a no-win situation. Either they kill their own decision-making spirit in an attempt to reduce their parents' anxiety, or they rebel against their parents' authority. That's the catch-22 of the "responsible for" model of parenting.
Parents either program their children correctly or they have failed. Children either conform to the system, surrender their individuality, and become "the child we don't have to worry about," or they rebel against the system, failing to "get with the program."
Do you see the two categories we have neatly set up? On one hand, we have "What Will Make Mom and Dad Less Anxious," and on the other hand, we have "Wrong Choices That Will Make Mom and Dad More Anxious." For most families, there simply is no third option.
In this system, the possibility of children learning to act for themselves and think critically about their choices does not exist. Doing so would equal rebellion. If your child ends up "doing the right thing," then you've raised a robot. He did exactly as he was programmed to do. But if your child ends up thinking and acting for himself, then you've raised a rebel.
There Is a Better Way
But there has to be another way—a way to say yes to our profound influence on our children's lives without taking total responsibility for those lives. There must be a way to dramatically influence the life of a child without resorting to programming and coercion. I call this third option Scream-Free Parenting, because it emphasizes a radical focus on and approach to calming our own anxiety.
Again, not all of us scream at our children, but all of us struggle with reactive behaviors. We may scream, we may manipulate, we may even use violence. Or we may neglect, we may avoid, we may even withhold love. These are all different examples of emotional reactivity.
As I said before, they are all just different ways of screaming, and none of them reflect the character and nature of God. ScreamFree Parenting takes all of this reactivity incredibly seriously and says the only way to retain a position of influence with our children is to regain a position of control over ourselves.
Initially, this might feel or sound self-centered. It may even sound like self-indulgent navel-gazing. I promise you, it is not. Self-control is, after all, a mark of a Spirit-led life (Galatians 5:22–25). I promise that if you stick with me through the first part of this book, you will see that it is all designed to make you far less selfish, far more mature, and far more capable as a parent. Capable of the type of influence your kids really need from you. For now, the bottom line is this: You need to be in control of the things you can control, and that starts (and may end) with you.
You're responsible to your children, your spouse, your friends, and family members. You're accountable to them for how you think, feel, and behave toward them. The only way to retain a position of influence with our children is to regain a position of control over ourselves.
I want you to actually say this out loud: "I am responsible to my child for how I behave, regardless of how he or she behaves."
Again, the focus is on you because ultimately you are the only one you can control. If you make sure you behave—even when your kids misbehave—then you have a greater chance of positively influencing the situation, any situation. That is ScreamFree Parenting.
In this book you'll read several stories of parents facing the very situations you face. They range from the ordinary, such as the bedtime struggles with a toddler, to the dramatic, such as the Mom-I-just-got-into-a-wreck scenario we all dread. All these situations create anxiety, sometimes the intense, I-don't know-if-I-can-handle-this type of anxiety. And that's okay.
This book will help you face similar situations, whether your kids are tots or teenagers, with a renewed confidence in your own integrity. Becoming a ScreamFree Parent involves a growing self-awareness, a greater sense of self-direction, and an increased willingness to take personal responsibility for your actions, regardless of the actions of those around you.
Come to think of it, isn't that what we want for our kids? We want them to be self-aware, self-directed, and able to take personal responsibility for their actions. But they will never get there if we don't model it all for them. You see, this parenting stuff is more about us than it is about them. The first idea in this book is: The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself. Getting rid of the weight of the responsible-for model is the first step. In the rest of the book, we turn our focus toward all that's involved in your responsibility to your children.
This will not be an easy journey. Once you turn the focus inward, you always learn more about yourself than you want to know. Like how easily you allow access to your emotional buttons, hoping others "just don't go there." Or how much you've been trying to teach your children lessons you have yet to learn yourself. Turning your attention to yourself is not a self-indulgent journey. On the contrary, it is all about discovering where you still need to grow. And that's what becoming ScreamFree is all about—opening your eyes to your own continued maturity so you can lead your kids toward theirs.
I would tell you to hold on to your hat, because it's going to be a bumpy ride. But then again, the last thing we need to do is keep wearing our silly hats.
From ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT. Copyright © 2007 by ScreamFree Omnimedia LLC. Used by permission of WaterBrook Press, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Hal Runkel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, seminar speaker and organizational consultant. As founding principal of ScreamFree Living Inc., Hal presents ScreamFree programs to audiences nationwide and appears frequently in the media. He has earned a master's degree in theological sutdies, as well as a master's degree in marriage and family therapy from Abilene Christian University. Hal and his wife, Jenny, live with their two children in the Atlanta area.


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N.C. furniture company sticks with Paula Deen
- Universal Furniture International will continue to market the Paula Deen Home Collection
- Asked under oath if she%27d ever used the N-word%2C Deen said%3A %22Yes%2C of course.%22
- Food Network%2C Wal-Mart%2C Target and Ballantine have cut ties
HIGH POINT, N.C. (AP) — The High Point, N.C.-based home furnishings company that markets Paula Deen's furniture line is sticking with the embattled celebrity chef.
Universal Furniture International will continue to market the Paula Deen Home Collection, The High Point Enterprise reported.
Deen has been under fire since the revelation earlier this year of a legal deposition in which Deen admitted under oath to having used a racial slur.
Many companies have dropped Deen since the deposition became public.
Deen attended the spring High Point Market in April, before the reports about her use of derogatory racial remarks in the past, came to light.
"We feel terrible for Paula. The Paula we know - and the one I believe you have gotten to know - is not the same person as the one being portrayed in the media," Jeff Scheffer, the top executive at Universal, wrote in a letter to its retailers released Wednesday afternoon.
"We have observed her as being kind and one who treats those around her with respect. Yes, she has acknowledged saying some hurtful things but she has also apologized, and we accept that," he wrote.
Scheffer said he understands those who disagree.
"We also feel equally dismayed for those hurt by Paula's remarks, which for certain do not represent our own diverse culture and beliefs at Universal," he said in the letter.
Scheffer said part of the reason for the decision was feedback from the retail businesses that market its furnishings.

subset: commoncrawl


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My Dad used to take all five of us children shopping for Christmas gifts for my Mother. And, yes, he did it at the same time. We each had $1 to spend. Now, there is a 9 year age span, so we older children could help a little with the younger ones. But we were all in the store together. We went to J.C. Penney and Hinshaw's in Arcadia, California. Both of these stores were on Baldwin Avenue.
Each of us children also bought gifts for each of our siblings. That meant that Mother or Dad had to take us shopping so that we could each find four gifts. Again, I believe we had a $1 limit for the gift. Of course that meant that each of us children had 6 gifts to wrap: one for each parent and one for each of our four siblings. There were a lot of presents under the tree. In many ways I think I was more excited about watching family members open the gifts that I bought than as in opening the gifts they bought me. Christmas morning was exciting.


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August 10, 2010
Dear CODEPINKer, On Sunday Medea Benjamin and over 100 activists rallied in Quantico, VA, in support of whistleblower Bradley Manning, the 22-year-old intelligence analyst who stands accused of leaking to WikiLeaks classified documents that expose the brutal reality of the Iraq and Afghanistan occupations. You can see videos of this powerful action and read news coverage. Thanks to all who sent in letters of support for Bradley. Now you can follow Medea's lead and organize an action to expose the cost of war, the reality in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the need for accountability for those that led us into the illegal occupation of Iraq. On August 31 the partial withdrawal of US troops from Iraq will commence. And while this is a step in the right direction, spurred by relentless actions from the peace movement, we know that the US presence in Iraq is still overbearing and Iraqis are still suffering immensely. CODEPINK partnered with Iraq Veterans Against the War, Military Families Speak Out, and many peace groups to create a joint statement about the withdrawal. Now we're calling on you to put this statement into action. Will you coordinate an action in your community between August 26-31?
We've created a toolkit with action ideas - from hosting a film screening to holding a vigil or parade - and all the resources you'll need to make your action meaningful and successful.
See action ideas. Read and follow our simple recipe for a Peace Houseparty. Purchase a copy of Iraq for Sale or War Made Easy from our CODEPINK store for only $5! See actions listed on our national calendar and post your own! DC CODEPINK is organizing a teach-in. Detroit activists can join the Jobs, Justice and Peace march on August 28. Los Angeles Veterans for Peace and CODEPINK are creating a parade highlighting the cost of war. What will your community do? You can also write a letter to the editor of your local paper using our easy tool. Get inspired to write by reading this great letter to the editor from Lisa Savage in the Maine Morning Sentinel. Additionally, you're invited to join a conference call conversation about the troop withdrawal and local organizing this evening, Tuesday, August 10, 5:30PM PST/ 8:30PM EST. Email firstname.lastname@example.com ASAP if you want to join this call and you will receive the phone number and password.
How we account for the past is how we prepare for the future. Blowing the whistle on war crimes should not put Bradley Manning behind bars for decades. The real criminals - the former Bush Administration - are on the loose, and are getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to speak, while the debacle in Iraq continues. Will you give voice to the reality of war?
It's time to rejuvenate our movement, take a stand for justice, and bring all our troops and our war dollars home!
Onward for justice and peace, Rae, Valerie, Janet, Dana, and the CODEPINK Team
August 26-31:
Organize an Iraq Debacle Action Use our Action Toolkit Register your action on our national calendar Send a letter to the editor of your local paper in a few easy steps! Read our Iraq Debacle Statement
If your local PINK group or ally organization would like to endorse,
email firstname.lastname@example.com Donate to support the Iraq Debacle Week of Actions
CODEPINK is a women-initiated grassroots peace and social justice movement working to end U.S. funded wars and occupations, to challenge militarism globally, and to redirect our resources into health care, education, green jobs and other life-affirming activities. The name CODEPINK satirized the Bush Administration's color-coded, fear-mongering "security" alert system that has since been phased out. CODEPINK is a lively call for the people of the world to "wage peace." More...


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Kiran is a hands-on mother, says Aamir
Actor Aamir Khan says his wife Kiran is a hands-on mother and is enjoying motherhood. On December 1 last year, the couple became proud parents of Azad Rao Khan
The baby was born through IVF to a surrogate mother. Aamir, whose film 'Talaash' released last Friday, says due to his work commitments he does not get to spend enough time with his son. "I am not a hands-on dad on a daily basis.
My responsibilities towards work don't allow me to do that. But I really like to spend time with him. He is a real joy. He is a very happy child and good natured," Aamir said. "Kiran is a hands-on mother.
She is enjoying motherhood and that's what she wants to do. Once in a while I do try and give her a break but she brushes it aside," he said. For Azad's first birthday bash, Aamir said, "On his birthday we plan to be at home with him alongwith close family members."
Meanwhile, Aamir says when it comes to films he does not consult wife Kiran, who is also a director. "No, I don't consult her. When I am not sure I like to ask her. I like to keep it as a surprise.
This she and I both consciously do. So when she watches the first cut, she is a fresh audience, she doesn't know about the script, she doesn't know what to expect. Sometimes I ask her to sit in for a narration," he said.
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Rakel and the Oracle | 2020/2021
trained at the Ballet Academy of Gothenburg, specialising in musicals. At the Göteborg Opera, Hanna Brehmer has played a number of roles: Skorpan (Karl) in The Brothers Lionheart, Neleus in Mary Poppins and The Choirboy in Romeo & Juliet as well as numerous family performances such as Tjolahopp, tjolahej, Now it begins and most recently the young people's musical Mobbad?. Performances on other stages where she has contributed include The Wedding Singer at the Wermland Opera, Jekyll & Hyde at the China Theatre in Stockholm, Rosalia in West Side Story at NorrlandsOperan and Jemima in Cats at Cirkus in Stockholm.


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North Hero, Vermont
|This article is a stub. Help us to expand it by contributing your knowledge. For county and town page guidelines, visit U.S. County Page Content Suggestions.
North Hero is a town in Grand Isle county, Vermont. It was formed in 1779 in Vt. from the following county/ies: Franklin. It has used the following other name(s): Two Heros. The probate and court district for North Hero is Grand Isle. For more information, contact the town at P.O. Box 38, North Hero 05474. On the attached map, North Hero is shown as 3 in Grand Isle county.
For information about the state of Vermont see Vermont Family History Research.


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Facing a looming federal deadline for moving dirt, managers of California's bullet train project are trying to clear away legal and political impediments that threaten to delay the project.
They resolved two of the lawsuits that challenged the project on environmental grounds, but two legal requirements — one in federal law, another in the bullet train bond issue — remain as potential hurdles for building the initial line in the San Joaquin Valley.
The federal issue was raised last week in a letter to the California High-Speed Rail Authority from Rep. Jeff Denham, a San Joaquin Valley Republican who chairs the House subcommittee on railroads.
Denham questioned why California had not sought approval of the project from the federal Surface Transportation Board, a successor to the old Interstate Commerce Commission, as apparently required by federal law.
With the high-speed rail authority hoping to break ground within a few months, the failure to clear the project through the federal board, or get an exemption from it, could become a new weapon in the arsenal of groups that oppose the bullet train.
The sticky point, apparently, is the authority's plan to connect the 131-mile-long San Joaquin Valley segment to Amtrak service in the region. The Surface Transportation Board exempted Florida's bullet train project from its process because it was a stand-alone system, but connecting to Amtrak could invoke its authority.
"We're not sure yet," Dan Richard, the authority's chairman, said earlier this week. But Tuesday, after meeting with Denham, the authority agreed to seek the approval.
As that situation sorts itself out, bullet train critics are hammering on a provision of the voter-approved bond issue requiring the system, when complete, to carry passengers between San Francisco and Los Angeles in two hours and 40 minutes.
When the authority switched the project from a stand-alone system to one "blended" with regional train service, critics demanded technical proof that it could meet the standard. Last month, the authority generated a memorandum purporting to prove that it could do so "with appropriate assumptions," based on computer modeling.
However, the model assumes that the train could "operate safely at 220 mph on sustained steep grades" in the Tehachapi Mountains between Bakersfield and Los Angeles — a contention that critics are attacking as unrealistic and potentially unsafe.
That could become the basis for another legal challenge.
And, of course, there are still political impediments. Last week, speaking in Sacramento, Rep. Kevin McCarthy of Bakersfield, the third-ranking House leader, cautioned California against the "false belief" that more federal funds would be forthcoming.
"I would hate to see them start a process they cannot finish," McCarthy said.
Dan Walters is a Sacramento Bee columnist.


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Posts Tagged 'mutator'
Cassandra: Up and running quickly in Java using Pelops
In Greek mythology Cassandra is captured by the triumphant king Agamemnon after the fall of Troy, with whom she has two sons, Pelops and Teledamus. This Java client library is Pelop's namesake nicknamed "Cassandra's beautiful son" because it offers a beautiful way to code against the Cassandra database. This is a quick introduction to the library.
You can find the open source code here http://pelops.googlecode.com/
Pelops was born to improve the quality of Cassandra code across a complex commercial project that makes extensive use of the database. The main objectives the library are:
- To faithfully expose Cassandra's API in a manner that is immediately understandable to anyone:
simple, but beautiful
- To completely separate low-level concerns such as connection pooling from data processing code
- To eliminate "dressing code", so that the semantics of data processing stand clear and obvious
- To accelerate development through intellisense, function overloading and powerful high-level methods
- To implement strategies like load balancing based upon the per node running operation count
- To include robust error handling and recovery that does not mask application-level logic problems
- To track the latest Cassandra releases and features without causing breaking changes
- To define a long-lasting paradigm for those writing client code
Up and running in 5 minutes
To start working with Pelops and Cassandra, you need to know three things:
- How to create a connection pool, typically once at startup
- How to write data using the
- How to read data using the
It's that easy!
Creating a connection pool
To work with a Cassandra cluster, you need to start off by defining a connection pool. This is typically done once in the startup code of your application. Sometimes you will define more than one connection pool. For example, in our project, we use two Cassandra database clusters, one which uses random partitioning for data storage, and one which uses order preserving partitioning for indexes. You can create as many connection pools as you need.
To create a pool, you need to specify a name, a list of known contact nodes (the library can automatically detect further nodes in the cluster, but see notes at the end), the network port that the nodes are listening on, and a policy which controls things like the number of connections in your pool.
Here a pool is created with default policies:
Pelops.addPool( "Main", new String[] { "cass1.database.com", "cass2.database.com", "cass3.database.com"}, 9160, new Policy());
Using a Mutator
Mutator class is used to make mutations to a keyspace (which in SQL speak translates as making changes to a database). You ask
Pelops for a new mutator, and then specify the mutations you wish to make. These are sent to Cassandra in a single batch when you call its
execute method.
To create a mutator, you must specify the name of the connection pool you will use and the name of the keyspace you wish to mutate. Note that the pool determines what database cluster you are talking to.
Mutator mutator = Pelops.createMutator("Main", "SupportTickets");
Once you have the mutator, you start specifying changes.
/** * Write multiple sub-column values to a super column... * @param rowKey The key of the row to modify * @param colFamily The name of the super column family to operate on * @param colName The name of the super column * @param subColumns A list of the sub-columns to write */ mutator. writeSubColumns( userId, "L1Tickets", UuidHelper.newTimeUuidBytes(), // using a UUID value that sorts by time mutator.newColumnList( mutator.newColumn("category", "videoPhone"), mutator.newColumn("reportType", "POOR_PICTURE"), mutator.newColumn("createdDate", NumberHelper.toBytes(System.currentTimeMillis())), mutator.newColumn("capture", jpegBytes), mutator.newColumn("comment") )); /** * Delete a list of columns or super columns... * @param rowKey The key of the row to modify * @param colFamily The name of the column family to operate on * @param colNames The column and/or super column names to delete */ mutator.deleteColumns( userId, "L1Tickets", resolvedList);
After specifying the changes, you send them to Cassandra in a single batch by calling
execute. This takes the Cassandra consistency level as a parameter.
Note that if you need to know a particular mutation operation has completed successfully before initiating some subsequent operation, then you should not batch your mutations together. Since you cannot re-use a mutator after it has been executed, you should create two or more mutators, and execute them with at least a QUORUM consistency level.
Browse the
Mutator class to see the methods and overloads that are available
Using a Selector
Selector class is used to read data from a keyspace. You ask
Pelops for a new selector, and then read data by calling its methods.
Selector selector = Pelops.createSelector("Main", "SupportTickets");
Once you have a
selector instance, you can start reading data using its many overloads.
/** * Retrieve a super column from a row... * @param rowKey The key of the row * @param columnFamily The name of the column family containing the super column * @param superColName The name of the super column to retrieve * @param cLevel The Cassandra consistency level with which to perform the operation * @return The requested
SuperColumn*/ SuperColumn ticket = selector.getSuperColumnFromRow( userId, "L1Tickets", ticketId, ConsistencyLevel.ONE); assert ticketId.equals(ticket.name) // enumerate sub-columns for (Column data : ticket.columns) { String name = data.name; byte[] value = data.value; } /** * Retrieve super columns from a row * @param rowKey The key of the row * @param columnFamily The name of the column family containing the super columns * @param colPredicate The super column selector predicate * @param cLevel The Cassandra consistency level with which to perform the operation * @return A list of matching columns */ List<SuperColumn> allTickets = selector.getSuperColumnsFromRow( userId, "L1Tickets", Selector.newColumnsPredicateAll(true, 10000), ConsistencyLevel.ONE); /** * Retrieve super columns from a set of rows. * @param rowKeys The keys of the rows * @param columnFamily The name of the column family containing the super columns * @param colPredicate The super column selector predicate * @param cLevel The Cassandra consistency level with which to perform the operation * @return A map from row keys to the matching lists of super columns */ Map<String, List<SuperColumn>> allTicketsForFriends = selector.getSuperColumnsFromRows( Arrays.asList(new String[] { "matt", "james", "dom" }, // the friends "L1Tickets", Selector.newColumnsPredicateAll(true, 10000), ConsistencyLevel.ONE); /** * Retrieve a page of super columns composed from a segment of the sequence of super columns in a row. * @param rowKey The key of the row * @param columnFamily The name of the column family containing the super columns * @param startBeyondName The sequence of super columns must begin with the smallest super column name greater than this value. Pass
nullto start at the beginning of the sequence. * @param orderType The scheme used to determine how the column names are ordered * @param reversed Whether the scan should proceed in descending super column name order * @param count The maximum number of super columns that can be retrieved by the scan * @param cLevel The Cassandra consistency level with which to perform the operation * @return A page of super columns */ List<SuperColumn> pageTickets = getPageOfSuperColumnsFromRow( userId, "L1Tickets", lastIdOfPrevPage, // null for first page Selector.OrderType.TimeUUIDType, // ordering defined in this super column family true, // blog order 10, // count shown per page ConsistencyLevel.ONE);
There are a huge number of selector methods and overloads which expose the full power of Cassandra, and others like the paginator methods that make otherwise complex tasks simple. Browse the
Selector class to see what is available here
Other stuff
All the main things you need to start using Pelops have been covered, and with your current knowledge you can easily feel your way around Pelops inside your IDE using intellisense. Some final points it will be useful to keep in mind if you want to work with Pelops:
- If you need to perform deletions at the row key level, use an instance of the
KeyDeletorclass (call
- If you need metrics from a Cassandra cluster, use an instance of the
Metricsclass (call
- To work with Time UUIDs, which are globally unique identifiers that can be sorted by time – which you will find to be very useful throughout your Cassandra code – use the
- To work with numbers stored as binary values, use the
- To work with strings stored as binary values, use the
- Methods in the Pelops library that cause interaction with Cassandra throw the standard
Cassandra exceptions defined here.
The Pelops design secret
One of the key design decisions that at the time of writing distinguishes Pelops, is that the data processing code written by developers does not involve connection pooling or management. Instead, classes like
Mutator and
Selector borrow connections to Cassandra from a Pelops pool for just the periods that they need to read and write to the underlying Thrift API. This has two advantages.
Firstly, obviously, code becomes cleaner and developers are freed from connection management concerns. But also more subtly this enables the Pelops library to completely manage connection pooling itself, and for example keep track of how many outstanding operations are currently running against each cluster node.
This for example, enables Pelops to perform more effective client load balancing by ensuring that new operations are performed against the node to which it currently has the least outstanding operations running. Because of this architectural choice, it will even be possible to offer strategies in the future where for example nodes are actually queried to determine their load.
To see how the library abstracts connection pooling away from the semantics of data processing, take a look at the execute method of
Mutator and the
tryOperation method of
Operand. This is the foundation upon which Pelops greatly improves over existing libraries that have modelled connection management on pre-existing SQL database client libraries.
That's all. I hope you get the same benefits from Pelops that we did.


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A live-action film based on Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego is in the works, which would be fine if Sandra Bullock was still slated to star. However, now it seems Jennifer Lopez may take the role. So far she's only signed on to produce, but the rumored plan is to drop the incognito geography lessons and turn the film into a vehicle for J.Lo. Deadline reports:
The hope is to turn the property into National Treasure meets The Thomas Crown Affair. The logline: When the ACME agency's greatest detective Carmen Sandiego becomes the world's greatest thief, it's up to her former partner to follow her clues and track her down. Their cat-and-mouse game leads the partner to confront a greater mystery: Is Carmen really a thief or a hero?
They probably won't even let Rockapella sing the theme song. This makes us angry enough to steal the Mason-Dixon Line.


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Link Roundup: New Jersey Pizza; 'New York' on Dean's; Two Boots Walkin' West
- To lead off this pizza link roundup, here's a great one that I didn't get to last week. Jason Perlow of Off the Broiler was invited along on a New Jersey pizza odyssey in the Newark Star-Ledger Munchmobile. Perlow and other Jersey food bloggers visited The Brothers (Red Bank), Sciortino's (South Amboy), Pizzatown USA (Elmwood Park), Cafe Capri (East Rutherford), and Santillo's (Elizabeth). Also blogging the Munchmobile ride: Baristanet, GoOutJersey, Hoboken411, and redbankgreen.
Grub Street visits Dean's Pizzeria on the Upper West Side but doesn't really say much about how the pizza was. The quote that got our attention, though, was from Dean's adviser Nick Angelis (of Nick's fame): "The recipes are basically the same [between my places and Dean's]. It varies according to who's making it, what the dough is like that day, how the wind is blowing … each place has its own slightly different spin."
Our man Ed Levine visited Dean's a couple weeks ago and called it "semiserious pizza"—pies that are very good but that lack the careful attention of a serious pizzaiolo who really loves his craft. Dean's Pizzeria: 215 West 85th Street 10024 (near Broadway; map); 212-875-1100
- These Boots were made for walkin'. New York Citybased minichain Two Boots, whose footwear represents its culinary influences—Italian and Cajun (Louisiana kinda looks like a boot, too)—is branching out to the Echo Park neighborhood. Two Boots L.A.: Sunset Boulevard between Lemoyne Street and Glendale Boulevard [map]
- A throwaway four-paragraph story in the Detroit Free Press reports that you can now order Domino's online. Mehold news. What caught my attention was this comment on the paper's website: "Is it delivered by e-mail? I suspect if I print it out on decent paper it will taste about the same."
All products linked here have been independently selected by our editors. We may earn a commission on purchases, as described in our affiliate policy.


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Biography Oude Luxor Theater
Albums | Singles | Compilations | Other | Guestperformance
In the discography you will find all recordings that have been released listed chronologically. We restrict ourselves to the title, the type of audio, year of publication or recording, label, list of guest musicians, plus any comments on the issue.
Audio/Video Oude Luxor Theater
No audio- or video material is yet available.
Add audio or video


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Resources: PlaydoughRead Now
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(CMT Offstage keeps a 24/7 watch on everything that's happening with country music artists behind the scenes and out of the spotlight.)
It's become like a preshow ritual for Brad Paisley. He told Parade magazine this weekend that he always sends flower to Carrie Underwood on the day of the CMA Awards , which air live on Thursday (Nov. 1) night.
"Every year, I send flowers to Carrie with a card that says, 'Good luck — Don't mess this up!' It's part of the ritual," Paisley said. He also admitted how frightened he and Underwood were the first time, five years ago, they hosted the biggest awards show in country music.
"We were scared to death the first year, but we really have a good thing going now. Carrie's got this graceful, beautiful, funny persona, and I'm sort of everything else," he said. Both Underwood and Paisley are each up for one CMA Award this year. And if she wins hers in the female vocalist category, I'm guessing Paisley will send her flowers again the day after the awards.


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'Boston Strong' T-shirt sales booming for Milwaukee company
A Milwaukee business is helping raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Boston bombing victims.
The company is working around the clock to keep up with the demand for "Boston Strong" T-shirts. The original sales goal was 110.
"We're literally taking orders every second," Ink to the People owner Todd Richheimer said.
More than 29,000 orders have been placed, according to Richheimer.
The shirt was designed by two Boston-area college students after the Boston Marathon bombings.
"The proceeds are going to the One Fund, which is sanctioned by the mayor of Boston," Richheimer said. "They brought shirts to the Red Sox families, all the players' families and the kids."
The employees have been working nearly nonstop. To make the T-shirts, they came in on Sunday, a day the facility is normally closed.
Sales are supposed to end Monday night, but because of the demand they'll keep printing the shirt. It's bittersweet for the company watching a business boom that stems from tragedy.
"We're definitely going to be doing some things beyond this," Richheimer said.
For now, more than $425,000 has been raised through T-shirt sales for the families most affected by the bombings in Boston.
The T-shirts cost $20, $14 of which goes to the charity.