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Comic for Tuesday, Jul 10, 2018
Tedd Forgot To Do Something
Grace the Goddess
Magic Comic Shop
Blank Check for Weirdness
Not a Date at the Mall
Non-Gratuitous Nudity
Dan in the MUD
EGS-Con 2006
Oblivious Hand-Waving
Revenge of the Jokes
TF Busters #1
Christmas Intermission
TF Busters #1 (Cont.)
Standalone Jan 2010
Playing With Dolls
Assorted 2015 01
Zombie Plans
Question Mark
Question Mark Pt 2
Question Mark Pt 3
Assorted 2015 02
Gaming Webcomic
Assorted 2015 03
Rad Squirrel
Detective Block
Assorted 2016 Alpha
Video Gaaaaaames
Escape From The Mall
EFTM - Part 2
EFTM - Part 3
Rad Block
Fun At Work
Ellen Demo
Goonmanji 2
Goonmanji 2 - Part 2
Goonmanji 2 - Part 3
Goonmanji 2 - Part 4
Goonmanji 2 - Part 5
Goonmanji 2 - Bonus That is Not Part 6
Assorted 2018
Nanase Craft ATCoZ
Fantasy Wasteland
Super Hero Science
Posted July 10, 2018 at 12:23 am
In the
games, each monster gets a description.
These descriptions are nonsense. The most obvious example is Cubone, a monster that supposedly wears the skull of it's dead mother (which is all sorts of messed up already).
EXCEPT you can breed Cubones, and the mothers keep their skulls. Even if you make up some sort of artificial replacement skull nonsense (what?), they can have multiple offspring, and there's no way those Cubone siblings are all wearing the same skull.
ALSO, that backstory references a specific Cubone and their circumstances in the first games, and it being the general entry for all of them makes no sense.
Frankly, though, this is all a good thing, because the entries can be absurd and even horrifying, and I'm much happier being able to dismiss it as some manner of nonsense that one or more in-game characters have made up.
I also like the idea that the protagonist is actually just making it all up, because lately, they've had a tendency to eerily smile under all circumstances, and it amuses me to think that's the sort of thing that goes through their minds.
Monster Blockery
This comic got posted Crazy Taxi--I mean, crazy late, and it's in large part because I wasn't satisfied with the ideas I had that would fit here. I did not think that was going to be an issue with this storyline, BUT HERE WE ARE, I GUESS.
Granted, this *is* intended to be a short storyline in which some fun is poked and cuteness is had, so I can end it whenever I want. I'd like to go a BIT longer, however, as we need to at least see some evolu--er, metamorphosed Graces!
All comics, artwork, characters copyright � 2002-2020 by Dan Shive.
El Goonish Shive is a comic about a group of teenagers who face both real life and bizarre, supernatural situations.
It is a comedy mixed with drama and is recommended for audiences thirteen and older.
Contact Dan Shive


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Lot 316: Croce, Benedetto
Lot 316: Croce Benedetto: (1866-1952) Italian Philosopher & Historian. A.L.S., B. Croce, One Page, 8Vo, N.P. (Rome), 20Th November 1922, To Arturo Colasanti, On The Printed Stationery Of The Senato Del Regno, In Italian. Croce Asks His Correspondent To Send A Letter To The Widow Of Bernabei As He Does Not Know Her Address, Further Remarking 'Sorry For The Trouble And Send Me A Visiting Card As A Sign You Received This Letter'. With Blank Integral Leaf. Annotated In Bold Blue Crayon In An Unidentified Hand At The Head Of The Page. Together With A Second A.L.S., B. Croce, On One Side Of A Postcard Bearing The Printed Address Of La Critica To The Verso, N.P. (Naples), 23Rd December 1922, Also To Arturo Colasanti, In Italian. Croce Thanks His Correspondent For Some Booklets And Sends His Best Wishes For The New Year. Hand Addressed By Croce To The Verso And With Two Blue And Red Crayon Annotations In An Unidentified Hand. Vg, 2] International Autograph Auctions' Autograph Auction September 2015 Saturday, 26th September 2015 Estimate: £100-150
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subset: commoncrawl


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Kissed by an Angel, Where Violins are the Angels' Voices, and the Cello Sings Harmony
Spec Henry J Mayfield, Jr, 23, of Evergreen Park, IL
was killed on Jan 5, 2020, in Manda Bay, Kenya by al-Shabaab, an Al Quaeda affiliate
He was of 1st Bn, 58th Aviation Rgmnt, 164th Theatre Ops Group, Ft Rucker, AL
Rest in peace, Specialist
Job well done.
A mourning nation thanks you.
I'm asking You God, to give me what You have left.
Give me those things which others never ask of You.
I don't ask You for rest, or tranquility.
Not that of the spirit, the body, or the mind.
I don't ask You for wealth, or success, or even health.
All those things are asked of You so much Lord,
that you can't have any left to give.
Give me instead Lord what You have left.
Give me what others don't want.
I want uncertainty and doubt.
I want torment and battle.
And I ask that You give them to me now and forever Lord,
so I can be sure to always have them,
because I won't always have the strength to ask again.
But give me also the courage, the energy,
and the spirit to face them.
I ask You these things Lord,
because I can't ask them of myself


text:
Aristo is the new play by Martin Sherman that has its world premiere at the Chichester Festival Theatre from 11 September - 11 October prior to a West End transfer. It will star Robert Lindsay and Diana Quick.Based on the last years of the life of the wealthy shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis who after a notorious affair with Maria Calas married Jacqueline Kennedy, widow of US President John F. Kennedy, in 1968. The play explores his complex interwoven relationships with Calla, Kennedy and his son by Callas, Alexandros, who died in a plane crash in 1973.Based in part on Peter Evans' book Nemesis, Aristo is an explosive account of how those in positions of enormous power and wealth often live lives detached from the realities and moral codes of everyday existence.
Weiterlesen weniger lesen


text: Research found that 56% of Americans are at risk of having an unsecured retirement if their average debt burden is $31,000, the 2013 average of recent university students. "Our latest study finds that student debt can have a big impact on retirement preparedness by reducing a young worker's 401(k) savings and delaying a home purchase," said Alicia Munnell, director of the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College (CRR). Munnell and colleagues analyzed data from Federal Reserve's Survey of Consumer Finances to create their National Retirement Risk Index. –Bloomberg


text:
MOEX trading platform up and running on Kazakhstan Stock Exchange
In December 2019, Kazakhstan Stock Exchange (KASE) has successfully gone live with its stock market on MOEX's ASTS+, the trading and clearing platform with central counterparty.
This migration of KASE to MOEX's technology is part of a strategic partnership between the exchanges, launched in 2018. The relationship aims to enhance the reliability of exchange infrastructure, mitigate market risk, deliver mutual access to markets for participants in Kazakhstan and Russia and eventually facilitate the creation of the single financial market for the Eurasian Economic Union (EAEU).
Alina Aldambergen, CEO of Kazakhstan Stock Exchange, said:
"The strategic partnership with MOEX has brought MOEX's robust ASTS+ technology to Kazakhstan Stock Exchange, supporting multiple trading regimes and techniques and delivering the benefits of a central counterparty. This aligns KASE's settlement and clearing system with IOSCO's Principles for Financial Market Infrastructures (PFMI). Involving the CCP will enable trading members to reduce their trading costs; it will give more confidence to the stock market and make trading more secure thanks to settlement guarantees from a highly reliable financial institution. We expect that this will boost liquidity due to new trading members joining the market and the growth of the client base, including non-residents, and help build awareness of the Kazakh stock market worldwide."
Igor Marich, Managing Director of MOEX's Money and Derivatives Market, said:
"Today's stock market participants expect exchanges to offer high-performance, safe and scalable technology for trading and clearing. We believe that technology offered by MOEX meets these challenges. We are proud that KASE chose us as its partner to migrate to the new technology for trading and clearing. These solutions provide right framework to realise the unified financial market within the EAEU."
Moscow Exchange Group operates Russia's main trading platform for equities, bonds, derivative instruments, currencies, money market instruments, precious metals and agricultural products. The Group includes Russia's central securities depository (National Settlement Depository), and National Clearing Centre, performing the functions of central counterparty on the markets, which allows Moscow Exchange to offer its clients the full spectrum of trading and post-trading services.
Moscow Exchange ranks among the world's top 25 exchanges by total volume of equities traded, and among the five largest exchanges for bond and derivative trading. Securities of 664 Russian companies, including the country's largest companies by market capitalization, were traded on MOEX as of 1 April 2018.
Kazakhstan Stock Exchange (KASE) is a leading trading venue in the Asia-Pacific Region. It is ranked second by volume of securities traded among exchanges in the CIS and sixth by equity market capitalization among the FEAS exchanges.
It is a multi-asset marketplace with a product offering including corporate and government securities, international bonds, foreign currencies, money instruments such as repo and swaps and derivatives. KASE is a member of the World Federation of Exchanges (WFE), the Federation of European and Asian Stock Exchanges (FEAS) and other international and domestic professional associations, as well as a partner of the United Nations Sustainable Stock Exchanges (SSE) initiative.
+7 (495) 363-3232
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text:
When: Sunday, February 17th 2019 @ 2pm
Where: Waukesha Civic Theatre
204 West Main Street
Cost: $15-$2720190217 2:00pm 20190217 2:00pm America/Chicago The Underpants https://www.downtownwaukesha.com/events/the-underpants-2019-02-16/ Waukesha Civic Theatre 204 West Main Street
Theo Maske opens with a complaint: his wife, Louise, has allowed her underpants to fall to the ground while attending a parade for the king. This rollicking sociopolitical farce, adapted by Steve Martin, is set in Germany, 1910. As events unfold, Theo worries about scandal and repercussions at his job as a government clerk. Louise allows herself to revel in newfound fame, reveling in the possibilities this unintentional faux pas materialize. With their tenants and nosy upstairs neighbor, Theo and Louise explore relationships and conventional gender roles through intricate wordplay and absurd humor.
A few upcoming events...
Sheepshead Night at the Nice Ash
Join us every Thursday night at Nice Ash Cigar Bar for some Sheepshead and live music! More...
Live Irish Session hosted by Hearthfire
Join us ever Sunday from 4:00pm-7:00pm for Live Irish Session with Hearthfire! More Info
Session and Culture Club at House of Guinness
Grab an instrument, bring your dancing shoes, or just come to listen! The Session and Culture Club every...


text: First Time Cuckolded; Wife Fucking Neighbor'sI sat on the couch, my pulse racing as she walked into the room wearing her workout clothes; a pair of short grey shorts, a pink tank top with an orange sports bra underneath and a pair of pink trainers. "You are sure about this?" She sat down next to me, placing her hand on my knee as rubbing my leg underneath my shorts. "I know we talked about it and all…but we can not do this?""He's coming over though, right?" I ask, looking over at her. She looks concerned for me, but also a little excited. I can see the look in her eyes and notice how flush her complexion is."Yeah," she pauses, smiling up at me and moving her hand up to my shoulder, rubbing it gently. "But I can always tell him that we changed our mind, you know.""I thought this is what you wanted," I say, knowing that I was the one that brought it up initially, with it hanging in the air for quite a while, even causing arguments for a few weeks before the idea of her fucking someone else became an idea she was comfortable with. Not only comfortable with, but she seems genuinely excited about it now.This had been a fantasy of mine for such a long time, and as much as I love Jill, want to be with her for the rest of my life and have a family with her, this has been in the back of my head for longer than I've known her, just like the idea of being forced to take another man had been a fantasy for so long. It just never worked out before. I had done the usual; called phone sex hotlines, watched the nastiest porn that I could get my hands on, let cam girls humiliate me and even put ads on craigslist endlessly with everyone backing out at the last minute. Being forced into submission is just something that I crave, and I explained to her that I'd rather do it with her than behind her back, which I also tried to do but could never go through with. "I do want it," she nods, smiling. "As long as you do, Neil.""I really do," she notices that I'm shaking now, it feels like my heart might jump out of my chest as I hear a soft, steady knock on the wooden front door."That's him," she exclaims, trying to hold back her excitement and concern. She plants a kiss on my forehead and gets up, practically bounding to the door to let him him. She opens the door and she motions for him to come inside. "Hi Jon, come in."He kisses her on the cheek and steps into the living room, wearing a pair of Nike Air Jordans, a pair of black basketball shorts and a shirt with the sleeves cut off. His head is tightly shaven and his dark complexion feels like it's shining, reflecting the sunlight. "Hi," he reaches over the round coffee table, offering his hand. I pull myself up and take his hand, doing my best to offer a firm handshake while hiding that I am trembling. He has a tight grip and I can feel how strong he is, it sends a chill up my spine."Hey man, how you doing?" I ask, attempting to remain calm, or at least make it seem like I am calm."Good, good," he sits down in the chair next to the couch and looks over at Jill, his eyes studying her up and down as she plops back down next to me, knees resting on my leg but her torso turned towards him. He licks his lips and laughs. "A lot better now.""I hear that," Jill laughs, looking at me as I force myself to laugh along. This is what I want, right? I find my mind racing, as I try to reconcile that we are going to go through with this."So this is cool with everyone?" He asks, his voice is deep, with me subconsciously making my voice deeper as I think and reply to him."Oh yeah, man," I nod my head and raise my eyebrows."Well then," he reaches over and caresses Jill's leg, I can see the goosebumps immediately burst on her skin and can feel my heart sink a bit before it begins racing again. "I know that I'm ready."She unfolds her legs and lets him continue to caress her leg as his hand moves to the inside of her thigh. I can hear her breath getting heavier as she starts rubbing her hands on the inside of his thigh and gets down on her knees in front of him. He pulls her head in close and kisses her deeply on the lips, thrusting his tongue inside of her mouth as I shift a little bit on the couch, trying to stay relaxed. Jill is rubbing both of his thighs with her hands now as she leans back and runs her hands down his chest until she reaches his cock. Her hands glide effortlessly over the bulge in his pants and her eyes widen."Oooh," she giggles. "Someone is already getting hard over here, and he's big, too," she exclaims. She continues to slide her hands over his cock through his shorts as he lets out a moan."Oh fuck yeah," he leans back in the chair, rubbing his hands across her back."Baby," she looks back at me with her fingers gripping onto the elastic band on his shorts. "Baby?" She asks again."Yeah?" I look over at her as she starts to tug on his shorts, but is stopping herself."You are sure about this?" She looks up at me with her big blue eyes and I can feel my whole body tremble."Yeah, babe," I swallow hard.She smiles and turns back to Jon, looking up into his eyes before sliding his shorts down a bit. He picks his hips up and helps her pull them down to his ankles, unveiling a huge, veiny cock that is just about rock hard and has to be already standing at over ten inches long. Her eyes widen again and she licks her lips."Oh my god," she exclaims without shame, looking up at him as he wears a devious smirk. "That cock is huge, have you been hiding that thing the whole time you've been next door?" She takes it into her right hand and grips it tightly, her hands looking dwarfed by the size of it."You know it," he laughs, groaning as Jill repositions herself in front of him and begins tugging on his throbbing cock with her hands. I can feel my heart skip a beat as she leans in and takes his cock in her mouth. Her tiny little mouth can barely fit it in. "Oh fuck!" he exclaims as she begins bobbing her head up and down on his cock, coming up for a breath, only to quickly take it right back into her mouth, this time pushing down and taking in as much as she can. He takes a handful of her hair and holds her head down until she begins to gag, letting go as she comes back up for air, gasping."Mmmm," she says, jerking it back and forth in her hand before spitting on it. "So fucking good," she says, looking back at me as he quickly takes his shirt off and tosses it onto the couch before wrapping his hands around the base of her shirt and quickly pulling it over her head, making sure to take the sports bra with it in one fell swoop. She tosses it behind her onto the coffee table as I snatch it up and pull it in close to me. Jill continues to jack his cock, working away at it with her hand as he kicks his shoes off, slipping his socks off in the process and kicking his shorts over into a pile with his shoes. Jon reaches down and pulls her off of his cock only to stand up, leaving her on her knees, eye level with his huge, throbbing cock. She moans, audibly, as she takes it in her hand and begins stroking it again. He takes his cock into his hand and begins slapping her face with it before jamming it into her mouth, holding the back of bayraklı escort her head with his hands and begins thrusting his hips, fucking her mouth."Yeah, you like that?" He grunts under his breath. "You fucking like that while your husband watches you get your face fucked, him just sitting there unable to fucking move, huh?""Mmmm, yes," she lets it fall out of her mouth as she gasps for air again. "Oh fuck yes, I want you, please, take me," she is begging him to fuck her now, on her knees as I can feel my cock growing rock hard watching my wife begging our hung neighbor to fuck her. "That I can do," he laughs as he grabs her beneath her armpits and helps her up to her feet, practically picking her up on his own in a feat of raw strength. She kicks her shoes off and slips her socks off then starts working her shorts down before he intervenes and pulls them down and then works her panties down, her stepping out of them and him throwing them into my face. "Here, hold onto these while I fuck your wife," he snarls. He turns her around so that she is facing me and bends her over, almost pushing her over onto the couch with her falling into my arms, but pushing back off as she rests her knee on the couch next to me and bends over, offering up her pretty pink pussy to him."Aw yeah," he licks his thumb and reaches down, sliding it over her pussy before plunging it into her lips. "Well she is nice and wet for me, man," he looks down at me. "She get this wet for you this quickly?""No," she giggles as I feel my heart drop again."Oh c'mon, I mean…" I start."Oh shut up," she says, still giggling, trying to catch her breath before turning her head back to him. "You going to show him how to fuck me?""What the woman wants," he says, jacking his cock in his hand, putting his other hand on her hip as he positions his cock in front of her pussy. "The woman gets, I feel like I'm teaching you a lesson here." He guides it into her as she braces herself against the couch, I can feel her hand grip tightly onto my arm and see her pushing her ass back to greet his monster cock."Oh my god!" She exclaims, almost taken aback at the feeling of his cock sliding into her. "Holy shit that feels fucking good!" Her grip on my arm tightens as my cock is throbbing inside of my pants, begging to come out, but I don't dare move as I can feel her hand gripping tighter and tighter on my arm, I can feel the power of his first few thrusts into her.He wraps his hands around her hips as he leans back and thrusts his cock into her. I look over and see that a good portion of his monster cock is engulfed in her wet pussy, it being incredibly deep inside of her. Jon closes his eyes for a second as he works away at my wife's pussy, cocking his head back as he tightens his grip and pulls her closer to him, her moaning louder. He looks back down at her and takes his left hand up, bringing it down hard onto the soft flesh of her ass, making a loud slapping sound."Yes! Yes!" She exclaims, her nails now digging into me as he begins to violently thrust into her harder and harder, faster and faster. "This is how I've always wanted you to fuck me," she says looking at me as she groans, having to force the words out in between grunts as his cock pushes deeper inside of her. "This is what I wanted!"I turn to look away but I feel her hands reach out to my face and grasp on tightly to either side, turning my face towards hers."No, you have to watch," she groans as he continues to fuck her. "Fuck that," she says. "Get those clothes off and stop sitting there being useless." My cock is throbbing and my heart is racing as I watch him continue to fuck her. I began to unbuckle my shorts, then undoing the button and the fly, relieving some of the tension in my pants as my hard cock can be seen pushing almost through my briefs. I pull my shirt up over my head and toss it aside before standing up and pulling down my shorts and my briefs, feeling my cock flip out of them and feel the cool air on it."Pfft," Jon lets out a laugh. "That's all you got? No wonder I'm fucking your wife right now."I look down at my own cock and feel inadequate, something that I've never felt before in my life. Sure, I wasn't huge, but I was definitely above average and had never had any complaints in the past before, especially from Jill. I brush it off, doing my best to ignore him as I put my hand on my cock and start stroking it, moving in front of Jill with my cock in front of her face. "No," she swats it away, reaching back and stroking Jon's stomach, making him stop. "I'm not going to suck your cock, honey," she laughs. "This is about me, remember?" She looks at me and straightens out, sweat glistening on her body. "Remember?" I silently nod as she takes Jon's hand and places it on her breast. "Good, now I want you to lick my pussy while he fucks me, do you understand?"I nod silently again as she giggles and turns to Jon, running her tongue from his neck down his chest down to his cock as she sits down on the couch, once again eye level with his cock and takes it back into her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth before taking it out with a quick smack. Just enough to make it wet as she takes him by the hand again and stands up, facing him. She runs her fingers along his chest, outlining his pecs and pulls him forward, away from the coffee table before pushing him down onto the couch right where there was enough space in front.He smirks as he sits back, jacking his cock in his hand before holding his hands up to help guide her as she leans back onto his stomach, resting her ass on it and pulls her feet up to rest on his knees. Her pussy is right in front of me, staring at me, with his big cock just resting against it. She reaches forward with her hand and rubs her clit before grabbing his cock in her hand, rubbing it back and forth over her pussy before pushing the head into her pussy and letting out a moan."Get over here," she barks at me, as I move towards them. "On your knees, c'mon," she laughs, moaning as he tightens his grip on her hips and begins moving his hips up and down, his cock moving in and out of her pussy like a piston. "Mmm, just like that," she whisper back to him. "C'mon, on your knees, are you deaf?" I shake my head and get down on my knees, staring right at his big cock just inches away while it expands and shrinks before my eyes, disappearing into her tight pussy lips."Here?""Yes," she smiles, reaching out and running her fingers through my hair before taking a bunch in her hand and pulling my head forward. "Now I want you to lick my pussy while you watch a real man fuck me.""Okay, but…" I look down at his cock, noting that it would be impossible to lick her pussy without having to lick his cock as well. "I mean…""Are you all of a sudden too shy to lick my pussy? You do it all of the time, honey," she pulls my head in closer as I try to resist."No, but…""No buts, this is what you wanted, right?" She forces my head up and down as if I were nodding by my hair. "See? This is what you wanted, so you knew it might get a little messy, now I want you to lick that pussy."I continue to resist, the thought escort bayraklı of licking his cock dancing through my mind, the fantasies that played out in my mind before about sucking on another man's cock quickly about to become a reality, but me realizing that it never happened before because I was never sure about it, and especially wasn't sure about it now that I had one right in front of my face. Especially it being the cock of my neighbor as he was slamming it into the pussy of my wife. I look up the length of her body, over her stomach and her tight, bouncing tits to see her eyes closed and head tilted back as she moans. She looks beautiful, I think to myself, before her hand pulls on my hair again, my mouth coming into contact with her warm, wet pussy lips.I keep my eyes closed as I reach my tongue out and lick her pussy. A little at first, then more, as I can feel the pressure from his cock moving underneath her skin. Her fingers are still gripping to my hair as she lets out a loud scream, my tongue flicking at her pussy while his cock slides in and out of her. My tongue keeps working until it slides down a little bit, licking a bit of his cock as well. I can feel the texture difference as her pussy is warm and soft, while his cock is rough and has a large vein right in front of me. My tongue slides up and down in a smooth motion, tasting her juices on both of them."Mmm, yeah baby," Jill moans, rubbing the back of my head, holding it closer before pulling it back, forcing me to look into her eyes. "You like that? You like being up close while he fucks me?""Yes," I moan out, still feeling her firm grasp on the back of my head. "I know you do," she says through her teeth, still bouncing up and down on his big cock. "Lick his balls," she orders, as I continue to look up at her and slowly shake my head from side to side."C'mon you fag," Jon says from behind her. "You know that you want to.""Do it," she orders again, this time clenching her teeth. "Put his fucking balls into your mouth, or do you not want to ever cum again?""I do," I swallow hard and can feel her grip on my hair loosen, her fingers repositioning themselves on my chin."Then do it," she shouts, laughing along with Jon as he moans out. I'm trembling again as I lower my face down, just a breath away from his cock and her pussy as I reach my tongue out slowly and lick at her pussy, then move my tongue down slowly. It isn't to be enticing, but it is out of fear that I slowly lick down the length of his shaft, tracing a vein along the way until I feel the loose skin around his balls against my tongue. I trace my tongue around the outside before reaching the bottom, opening my mouth wider and affixing my lips to the left ball, sucking on it as I can feel his cock pulsating inside of Jill's body. I suck on it as I move my tongue around it, moving it up and down as he moans out.This continues on for what feels like forever before I feel Jill's hand grasp onto my hair again, pulling me back out. Then she pushes back onto his lap, letting his cock slide out of her. I'm on my knees in front of them, staring down his huge cock, glistening with her juices while she looks down at me, taking her left foot off of his knee and pushing me on my shoulder, kicking me back. As I catch myself, she looks down at me and laughs again."This must be driving you crazy, baby," she says, with a wild smirk on her face. "Look at how hard your cock is."I blush as I look down, not wanting to make eye contact with her, but I feel her hand reach out and grab a hold of my chin again, her fingernails digging into my cheeks. She leans down and gets right into my face, planting a kiss on my lips before pulling back and laughing again."He's been fucking my pussy so well," she says, licking her lips. "That I think it needs a break. You know how sensitive it is," she stands up, rubbing her pussy with her fingers before getting down on her knees next to me. "I think you need to help me out.""What?" I ask, not understanding what she is asking me to do. "What do you want me to do now, I've already…""Shhh," she places her finger on my lips. "He's done such a good job fucking me, he deserves to cum, doesn't he? Doesn't he?" I nod in agreement with her as he laughs, his cock in his hand stroking up and down on it, right in front of me. "So you should suck on his cock while I relax."My heart skips a beat again, then begins to race, my hands trembling at the thought. Jon laughs and inches forward on the couch, picking himself up and standing in front of me, leaving me eye level with his huge cock, just a few hairs away from my lips, dangling there. I begin to move my hand up towards it, but it is shaking and I quickly drop it back down, turning to her and shaking my head."I can't, I mean…""Yes, you can," she says. "You wanted this, and now you are going to do what I want, and I want your lips on his cock.""No, I mean," I turn back to it. "I don't think that…" Just then I feel her hand on the back of my head, pushing me, the head of his cock touching my lips and then, in an instant, his hard cock is inside of my mouth. I mumble, trying to talk but her hand is firmly on the back of my head, not letting me pull away. I feel like I'm going to explode before I relax a little and realize how long I had been waiting for this. I can feel his slick shaft on my lips and feel it sliding over my tongue. I open up my mouth wider to make up for his girth and to keep my teeth away while trying to clasp my lips tighter together.I bring my hand up and clasp my fingers around his balls, moving my head back and forth, guided by Jill's hand before I bring my hand up and take a hold of his huge cock, now starting to try to get it deeper into my mouth. He puts his hand on the back of my head and starts thrusting with his hips, fucking my face."God you are pathetic," she groans, pulling my head back by the hair again, his cock slipping out from my grasp. "You can't even suck cock for me right, can he?" She turns to Jon who laughs."Nah," he shakes his head. "That was some pretty sad shit, I gotta say.""So, once again," she takes his cock into her hand and starts jacking it, back and forth. "Once again, I have to do everything for myself.""Show him how its done, bitch," he smiles and nods as her lips wrap around his hard cock again, her hand tightly gripping on it at the base and her head bobbing back and forth. His hands are on his hips and he's beginning to squirm a little, moaning. "Oh fuck yeah," he lets out. "Keep going and you are going to make me cum.""Mmm yes," Jill moans, jacking his cock back and forth with both hands quickly. "I want you to cum all over me while my husband watches," she looks over at me and laughs. "You want to see me take his big load, huh?""Well," I start, stroking my cock as I watch my wife working so hard to get him off, seeing a side of her that I had never even imagined before. "Yeah, I guess.""Pathetic!" She giggles before turning back to Jon and his huge cock, taking it back into her mouth while still working it with both of her hands, moving her head from side to side while her hands move in the bayraklı escort bayan other direction. "Yeah," she pulls it out of her mouth and begins jacking his cock faster and faster, pointed right at her mouth. "C'mon baby, cum all over me.""Ohhhhh yeah," he moans, now gripping onto the sides of her head and cocking his head back. "Oh fuck, yes, yes," he shouts. "Keep going, almost there…""Oh fuck!" In an instant his cock is convulsing in her hands and a huge stream of hot, white cum streams out from his swollen black cock and is coating her face. Her tongue is out, catching some of it, but not all of it as it was like a floodgate was unlocked all over her. "Mmmm," she says, taking a finger to her cheek and rubbing some of the cum onto her tongue. "So fucking good," she looks up into his eyes and slowly gives his cock a few more tugs."Now this bitch," he laughs, slapping his cock across her face again before stroking her hair, her still on her knees. "She knows how to take care of a cock." She laughs deviously before turning back to me."Don't think that I forgot about you," she smirks. "You did everything I asked you to, so you can cum, too," she leans over, planting a big, wet kiss on my lips. I can taste his salty cum on her lips and feel it on her chest pushing up against me. "But first… you have to clean off his cock.""What?" I shake my head, "but I did everything you wanted me to.""Just clean it off, bitch," she giggles, taking his cock in her hand and guiding it towards my mouth again. I can feel his still swollen cock inside of my mouth. "You can do better than that!"I pull it out with my hand and stick my tongue out, running it over the head of his cock, tasting his cum on it, still a little bit dripping out onto my tongue. I work my tongue down his shaft a few times before he lets out a laugh and takes his cock out of my hands and slaps me across the face a few times with his monstrous snake of a cock. My face turns red and I feel humiliated."Good boy," she laughs, putting her hands on my shoulders and pushing me back onto the floor. "Just lay back now and let me get you off." I lay back and close my eyes as I feel her tight grip around my cock, her moving slowly, then quickly speeding up. I can feel my balls begin to twitch a bit and my cock growing harder and harder. I can already feel the cum working its way up the shaft of my cock, but do my best to hold it in, especially after he lasted so long."Jon, come here and help me," she says over her shoulder as my eyes shoot open."Wait what?" I say, trying to sit up, only to feel her hand on my shoulder pushing me back down."Oh relax, I told you that you were going to cum, didn't I?""Yes, but, what do you need him for?""Just to hold your legs while you cum," she laughs as he comes over and takes a hold of my ankles. "Good, now lift him him," I feel his hands tighten around my ankles and pulling them up, my legs almost going straight up while I'm still laying back, staring down the barrel of my cock. From this angle I can notice how much smaller it is than his was and feel a bit ashamed. "Great, now hold him there.""What are you doing?" I ask, confused as she continues to work away on my cock. I have to admit it feels great and I could care less what she is doing."Well, you failed at helping me take his load," she shakes her head, still jacking away at my cock. "That doesn't mean that you get out of taking a load on your face."She lets out a laugh as I watch her hand glide back and forth over my cock. I can feel Jon's strong hands on my ankles holding my legs up and can even feel his cock graze over my ass a bit. My muscles clench up as I get closer and closer to orgasming. Jill looks into my eyes and smiles a nice warm smile while she is jacking away at my cock, like she had planned this all along. I let out a loud moan as I feel my balls contract and the cum explode out of my cock, shooting down my chest and my face. I had flinched, but not in time as there is a thick stream of cum on my face, from my chin up to my eyebrows and Jill scoops her finger in, pulling a bunch into my mouth."There," she laughs. "I told you that you'd get to cum today, hun."He lets my legs go and I slump over on the floor, covered in my own cum as Jill wipes her hands on me and picks herself up, her body gleaming in sweat. She walks over to Jon as he pulls his shorts and shirt back on and grabs at his bulge one last time before giving him a kiss. He pulls her in close and takes a big handful of her ass. She looks back over at me and shakes her head before looking back to him, still in his arms."This was fun," she said, blushing a bit. "Do it again soon?""Yeah," he nods. "I'm definitely down with that.""Maybe bring some friends along with you next time?" She looks up at him, as I lay on the floor still, looking over at her, not sure where this is coming from."Oh, I have some friends who would be down for this shit, believe me," he opens the door, with his shoes in hand and heads out, with Jill closing the door behind him and locking it before letting out a sigh."Where did that come from?" I ask, sitting on the floor with my back up against the couch now."What?" She asks, picking up her shirt off of the table and pulling it over her head before fishing around for her shorts to pull them back on."Everything," I say, shaking my head. "I'm sitting here in a puddle of my own cum and, and," my heart begins to race. "You made me suck another man's cock! Then you asked to do it again without talking about it with me, and you asked him to bring friends, I just, I thought we'd talk about this before doing it again and…""I enjoyed myself," she says, short on, sitting back onto the chair and kicking her bare feet onto the table. "This is what you wanted, this is what we had talked about, what you had asked for," she shrugs. "Plus, I know you wouldn't do this on your own.""What are you talking about?" I ask, trying to act clueless and like the victim. "I don't know what…""After you brought this up," she interrupts. "I thought it was strange and came from nowhere, then I looked at your credit card bills," I can feel my heart begin to pound in my chest, and a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Oh?" I say, turning red."Phone sex, cam sex, the works," she exclaims. "So, I did some digging and I talked with one of your, erm, phone mistresses that you talk to. She told me some stuff that wow, it made me feel awful for a little bit, but she told me that you would never act on it, that you loved me that much.""I do, I never would, I mean…""It's okay," she laughs. "I'm still here, aren't I? I have fantasies of my own, obviously. She told me you fantasized about sucking cocks, about watching me fuck other men and for me to force you to do all of these nasty, dirty things. This was going to be revenge, but — I liked it! A lot. So," she walks over, petting my head. "It looks like you have a new mistress now, hun.""But I'm not sure that I want this," I say, looking up at her. "Please, let's talk about this some more, I'm not sure I like other men…""Don't you want to keep me happy?""Yes, of course, but…""Don't you want to keep me happy?" She grabs a hold of my face by my jaw, looking deep into my eyes. "Yes," I mutter."Then I guess you don't have a choice, then, do you?" She walks off towards the bathroom and shuts the door behind her, while the room spins around me.


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Nothing gets a player more excited then when you mention the word "comp". Everyone wants one and the casinos are more than glad to give them (over one billion dollars worth last year). Yet, comps is one of the most misunderstood aspects of a player's casino experience, fraught with misconceptions so that many casual players don't even bother – which is unfortunate. So to unravel the science and art of getting a comp, I assembled a team of experts comprised of savvy experienced players, well known gaming authors, advantage players, casino managers, and a casino host. I asked the experts for tips they would give an average casino player who asked, "How do I go about getting a comp?"
Before I turn it over to the experts, let's briefly review the basics of casino comps.
What is a Comp?
A "comp" is an abbreviation for complimentary. They are the free goods and services provided by the casino to its players. Comps can range on the low end to free drinks and free valet parking all the way up to free room, food, beverage and transportation.
What are the Requirements to Get a Comp?
The only requirement is that you gamble. Most casinos require that you bet at a certain level and play for a specific period of time in order to qualify for a comp. The more you bet and the longer you play the higher the level of comp you can expect.
I Thought Comps Were Only For High-Rollers?
That's one of the misconceptions about comps. You don't need to be a high roller to get a comp. Yes, we all know the stories about high rollers that get shuttled to and from Las Vegas on a private jet, picked up in a chauffeured stretched limo, given a luxury suite twice the size of your home, and dine in ultra-swank gourmet restaurants "on the house". But casinos also offer valuable comps to low rollers that include free meals, free or discounted rooms, and free show tickets.
Why do Casinos Give Player's Comps?
Casinos need steady customers and they know there is a lot of competition for players. Therefore they offer comps to loyal players as a reward for their business. Comps also have a way of making players rationalize their losses so they return again to the same property. Comps also stimulate players into betting at higher levels and longer because most players mistakenly believe that when they get a comp they are getting something for nothing.
Do I Have To Lose To Get a Comp?
This is another misconception. Comps are not based on how much you lose (or win) but on the total amount of money you've wagered (known as the amount of "action" you give the casino). All the casinos want is a shot at your money at their tables and machines.
How Do I Get a Comp if I Play the Machines?
You need to sign up for a Player's Card and keep it inserted into the machine's card reader while you play. The casino's computer will keep track of how much money you play through the machine. Always make sure your card is registering properly so you get credit for your play. Also check at the Player's Club if you are entitled to any freebies just for joining (casinos often have promotions to entice players to sign up).
How Do I Know How Long to Play the Slots to Get a Comp?
Casinos use to be secretive about how they rewarded comps. But nowadays the majority of casinos have brochures that tell their players how many dollars they must play to earn a point and how many points are required to get a specific comp. Nowadays, you can also find this information on most casino web sites (you can also sign up for a player's card and keep track of your points on some casino web sites).
Why Should I Bother With a Casino Host When I Can Get My Comps Through the Player's Club?
Hosts have much more discretion issuing player comps than the employees who staff the Player's Club do. They also open a lot of "comp-doors" that most player's don't know about such as an invitation to a special event or getting you a room on a busy, sold-out weekend. Hosts add a personal touch to the comp experience and you should try to establish a long-term relationship with them.
How Can I Reward My Host for a Job Well Done?
Hosts are not allowed to accept cash or expense gifts from players. But they can accept nominal gifts (max. $25 is a good benchmark) such as a gift certificate to a restaurant, a bottle of wine, or bouquet of flowers. A thank you card also goes a long way to cementing a relationship with a host. Another way to show your appreciation is to send the host's boss or the casino manager a note stating what a good job your host does for you. Sending a host new customers is also another way to show your appreciation.
Can I Carry Over My Earned Comps from One Trip to the Next?
Most casinos allow players to accumulate their comp dollars and then spend them on one big meal or event. But others do not (you must spend your earned comp dollars during your current trip). It's best to get the specific casino requirements on earned comps from the Player's Club literature or from a casino host.
How Do I Get a Comp if I Play the Tables?
You must ask to be 'rated' when you play in the pits in order to be eligible for a comp. Getting rated means the pit boss or floor supervisor will keep track of the hours you play and your average bet size. In some casinos you can use your Player's Card to get rated while others issue a different rating card for table players. If unsure just inquire at the Players Club or ask a casino host. When you sit down to play just slide the card to the dealer with your buy-in and the dealer will hand it to the floor supervisor, who will begin the rating process (in some casinos the dealer has a device on the table that she uses to swipe your card to initiate the rating process).
If I'm a Table Player, How Much Do I Need to Bet and For How Long to Get a Comp?
Each casino has a different policy when it comes to giving comps for table players. Some casinos that cater to high end players require a minimum of $25 bets to even be considered for comps while other casinos will gladly rate nickel players. My advice is to first call the casino's marketing department and speak to a casino host about table game playing requirements for rating and comps. This way you'll know the casino's requirements and there won't be any surprises.
Does the Amount of my Buy-In and Whether or Not I Win or Lose Have Any Bearing on My Comps?
Even though floor supervisors on table games will record that information on a player's rating card, they do not enter into the equation for comps (see Comp Equations). However, more than one casino supervisor has added this caveat. If a steady customer has a disastrous session where the losses far exceed the casinos theo (or theoretical loss - see equations), the player is often given an additional comp above what the comp equation would compute for his play. Also, casino managers look more favorably on players who buy in for say $500 rather than $100 simply because they perceive that they have a shot at a larger amount of the player's money.
Should My Souse and I Get a Joint Account or or Separate Accounts?
If you're a low roller it's best to get two cards on the same account. This way your play and that of your spouse will accumulate points faster toward a comp. If both partners do a lot of playing, then it's best to get a slot card in both names (both will earn separate comps).
Besides Comps What Else Should I Expect From the Casino for My Play?
It depends on the casino but besides comps you might get mailings offering you free show tickets or even an entry into a tournament or other special event. Many casinos also reward their slot and video poker players with cashback (or bounce back). Cashback is cash that you can get immediately after your play and it is based on a percentage of your action (see comp equations). Bounce back is a coupon you'll receive that will allow you to receive cash on a subsequent visit. In lieu of giving a player directly cash some casinos will give a player credit on a slot or video poker machine (via a PIN) which the player must play through.
What Can I do if I don't have Enough Points for a Comp?
If you don't have enough play for a free room, you should ask for a discounted rate (known as the casino rate, which is usually 50% of the published rack rate for a room). Likewise if you don't have enough play for a buffet comp, ask for a line comp. This will allow you to go ahead of the line of folks waiting to get into the buffet, café, or show theater. This is also a good time to speak with your casino host to see what other options you might have.
Can I use the Points Acculmulated at one Casino Property at another Property Owned by the Same Company?
In most cases, yes. Harrah's, Mandalay Resorts, Park Place Entertainment, and Stations Casinos to name a few have Megaclubs. As more casinos become owned by the same company, this trend will continue.
Are Their Any Tricks of the Trade to Getting More Comps Faster?
Yes, and your about to read a bunch from our experts.
Are Their Any Downsides to Comps?
Most players are envious of other players who get "comped". These players play right into the casino's hands because by betting more and longer then they intended in the pursuit of a comp, most players with end up losing more then the comp was worth. Never play longer or bet more for the sake of a comp. Just learn how to use the system to get your fair share of comps for your normal play.
* All names with an asterisk are also casino gambling columnists
Mr. Pit Boss
Casino employee with a decade of experience in the casino industry. Contributor to the Blackjack Insider newsletter (www.bjinsider.com)
Steve Bourie *
Author 2003 American Casino Guide (www.americancasinoguide.com)
John Brokopp *
Author Insider's Guide to Internet Gambling
Bill Burton *
Author Get The Edge at Low Texas Hold'em. Gambling guide for About.com
Jeffrey Compton *
Author Guide to Slot Clubs. Featured in several slot/slot club videos
Anthony Curtis *
Publisher of Las Vegas Advisor, author of Bargain City (www.lasvegasadvisor.com)
Bob Dancer *
Author of Million Dollar Video Poker. Featured in several video poker instructional videos & WinPoker software (www.bobdancer.com)
Winnie Grand *
Advantage video poker player.
John Grochowski *
Author of several books including The Slot Answer Book, The Video Poker Answer Book, and The Craps Answer Book.
Skip Hughes *
Host www.vphomepage.com.
Bart Pestrichello
V.P. Operation, Sunset Station Casino, Las Vegas
Mickey Petkus
Casino host, Palms Casino, Las Vegas
LV Pro
Advantage blackjack player and contributor to Blackjack Insider Newsletter(www.bjinsider.com)
Max Rubin *
Author Comp City
Frank Scoblete *
Author of many books including Forever Craps: The Five Step Advantage Play, Guerilla Gambling: How to Beat The Casinos at Their Game, and Break The One Arm Bandits (www.frankscoblete.com)
Jean Scott *
Author of Frugal Gambler (and soon to be released More Frugal Gambler) and featured in Frugal Video Poker software program (www.frugalgambler.biz)
Barney Vinson *
Author of several books including Ask Barney, An Insiders Guide to Las Vegas, Casino Secrets, and Chip-Wrecked in Las Vegas.
Join. To know you
is to comp you. If you want the casino to know who you are, join the club.
After you're in with the in-crowd, you'll get more offers in the mail than you
can believe (and want, sometimes). They want your bankroll and no matter how
small you think it may be, you'll be amazed at the stuff that comes your way
once they know who you are.
2. Play. Casinos aren't interested in folks who don't gamble. You don't have to bet a lot (but probably like to anyway-or you wouldn't be reading this magazine) to get nice offers, but you'll have to show a little speed up front for them to invite you back.
3. Ask. If you don't ask for a comp while you're playing, they probably won't offer. Don't be afraid. They get asked 100's of times each week and all they can say is "No." If they deny you (no matter how outrageous the request), ask them how much more you have to play to earn the comp you want. Buffets are easy, but it normally takes some serious machine and table time to qualify for rooms and gourmet meals.
4. Tip. When you hit a jackpot, make sure to give the cashiers and floor people a little something when they fork over the cash. If you're on table games, an occasional small bet for the dealers usually does the trick. Virtually all of the comp decision makers (pit bosses and slot hosts) depended on tips for their livelihood at one point in their careers and if you're a stiff, they'll never give you an even break.
5. Be Nice. Friendly people get easy room upgrades, bountiful buffets and lots of personalized attention while the Jerks rarely get what they've got coming-unless you believe in Karma.
Jean Scott (author/columnist)
1. The number one way to get comps is to join the slot club before you play any casino game. Then put your card in any machine you play and starting earning points that will get you comps. If you play the tables, give your slot club card to the dealer before you make your first bet. He will give it to the pit boss, which will track your play and be able to tell you what comps you have earned. A casino can not give you anything if they don't know you are playing; a slot card gives them this information so they can reward your play by giving you comps.
2. If you want free rooms and other substantial comps, concentrate your play at one casino to reach a higher comp level. If you spread your play around too thinly, you may not reach a basic comp level at any casino.
3. All slot clubs are not alike. So you have to "dig" in order to get the details that will help you maximize your use of the comp system in any casino. Read all the literature at the slot club desk. If that isn't available or doesn't give you enough information, ask the slot club employees to explain the system and give you specific details on how to earn comps.
4. Joining a slot club can be a good idea even if you don't plan to play at that casino. Card holders can often get nice discounts all over the property: in the gift shop, the restaurants, and even on the room rates. And when business is really slow, some casinos have been known to send out good offers and coupons to everyone in their database, no matter how little they have played.
Bart Pestrichello (casino manager)
1. Table game players -- always present your players card to the dealer or floor supervisor as soon as you arrive at the table
2. When buying in at a table game, if you have a bankroll of $300, buy in for all $300 instead of $100 at a time.
3. If you want something comped, ask for it. The only thing we can tell you is YES or NO. Don't be shy!
4. If you are playing for comps at a Table Game, it does not hurt to ask the floor supervisor what was you average bet during that play session. Understand what is needed to get a comp.
5. Since most comps at a table game are discretionary, it pays to be genuine, honest and courteous. You are more likely to get what you want.
Mickey Petkus (casino host)
1. Make sure that you are getting tracked for your play. Regardless of whether you are a table or a machine player you must make sure you are getting credit for your casino action. Too many times I have customers who come to me asking for a comp and I have no record of play in the casino's computer. They say that they have played for hours, lost hundreds of dollars, and the casino has no record of any of it. When that is the case, there is not much the casino can do, and the host is left to tell the customer "sorry". So make sure you get a player 's card so you can take advantage of the casino's comp system.
2. Once a customer has play recorded in the casino's player tracking system they just need to go to the casino's player club booth, or page their casino host if they are on property to ask for the desired comp. Either the club or the host will look up their play and tell the customer what they are qualified for. If you don't have a host, ask for the "host on duty" and introduce yourself to one.
3. It is a good idea to establish a relationship with a host so that he or she can know your gaming history.
4. Many times I have gotten crazy and outlandish requests...but as Jean Scott would say..."It doesn't hurt to ask."
5. There are always exceptions to the rules.
Steve Bourie (author/columnist)
1. CALL AHEAD - Every casino has a marketing department,
which will give you information on what kind of play is needed in order to earn
a comp. Before leaving on your trip call ahead and ask for the marketing
department and speak to a casino host who can tell you what is required. (You
can get list of the toll-free numbers for all U.S. casinos in the 2003 American
Casino Guide or visit the website at www.americancasinoguide.com to see the
phone numbers for free). Call several casinos that you're interested in and ask
specific questions of the host: How much do I need to bet to get a comp room?
How long do I have to play each day?, etc. Once you've decided on which casino
you want to visit be sure to call back and speak to the same host. Tell them
you're going to be playing at their casino and you want to confirm the details
of what kind of play is required to earn the comps that you want. When you
finally arrive at the casino be sure to go meet your casino host and thank them
for their time and effort in explaining their comp system to you. Then you'll
be on your way to earning comps and you'll know exactly what's required.
2. ASK - Many players mistakenly think that the casino staff will automatically offer them comps whenever they play but that isn't true. You really need to speak to a floorperson and tell them you want to be rated to see if you're eligible for any comps. They will then keep track of your average bet as well as how long you play and they will offer you comps based on your level of play.
John Brokopp (author/comulumnist)
1. Don't be afraid to ask. Casino guest services representatives are in business to please and accommodate people, not alienate them. In most gaming markets, they are aware that people can take their business elsewhere. They are out to make friends, not enemies. Besides, food comps actually cost the casino a fraction of their face value. Comps are the best marketing tools a casino has. They don't want to say "no" to your request for a comp if they can at all help it. But they're not mind readers, either. As the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so does the outgoing casino player. If you've been warming the seat at a blackjack table for a while or playing at a slot carousel for a period of time, find a representative and inquire about a comp. Just make your request in a polite demeanor and maybe even make some small talk. Don't be a pest or act demanding as if you've got it coming to you. Be nice and friendly and you may be in for a surprise.
2. Develop a personal relationship with a casino host, shift manager, or pit supervisor. Name and face recognition can go a lot further than just being a number in a database. If you're visiting a casino for the first time, call in advance and ask to speak to someone in player development. Tell them you'll be coming in and that you're looking forward to the visit. Get the person's name and when you check in, stop by the office with a small gift or token of appreciation, such as a souvenir from your hometown or a specialty item from your locality. When you're out on the casino floor, don't be shy about introducing yourself to the shift manager or slot or pit supervisor. Just a friendly "hi" along with some chat about the property and in all likelihood the person will offer you his or her card and you've made a new friend.
3. Always use your player tracking card. Separate and aside from the personal contacts you make in a casino is being a member of the player's club. All casinos have them now. Cold, statistical dollars and cents decisions regarding comps are based upon the player profile that pops up when the host or other casino representative brings up your information on the computer screen. It's kind of like a casino player's "box score". By using a card you develop equity in the property and are eligible for cash back or comps as the case may be. Player's clubs encourage brand loyalty. The more often you attend, the longer you play, and the more money you "churn" through the machines or tables, the more valuable you are to the casino.
4.Take advantage of "first time visitor" privileges. If you're a veteran player making a first-time visit to a property in your own jurisdiction or out of state, always make a personal contact before you play. Explain to a host that you've been playing elsewhere but that you've heard a lot of nice things about this particular casino and you'd like to give them a try. Alluding to your games of choice or your level of play won't hurt, either, such as mentioning the playing tier you are at another property. Casinos are always trying to win over new customers, influence people, and attract new and potential premium players. The casino industry is very competitive in this respect. Manipulate the system, if you will, and see what kind of "welcome wagon" comps you may be offered.
5.Go for "true comps" first before using your point equity. Every casino uses basically the same formula for determining a player's worth. The "theo" on a player (theoretical loss) is computed using the amount wagered, the length of playing time, and the win/loss ledger. The result is the value of comps the player is entitled to in dollars and cents. On the other hand, every casino uses a different formula for comps based on points accumulated using a player's card. A player may redeem his or her points for comps and have them deducted from their account. "True comps", however, may be a buffet or dinner offered to a player without the loss of points. It's based on individual session play and even property loyalty. Always go for true comps first before you tap into the equity that you've already earned and you're already entitled to receive. It's kind of like going for a bonus.
Bill Burton (author/columnist)
1. Always use your card and get rated.
2. Ask! Comps aren't given out automatically.
3. If you are looking for a food comp it is best to do this while you are playing.
4. Play during the slower period of the day. It's easier to get a comp when the casino is not crowded.
5. Be friendly and personable at the table.
6. For a room comp you will want to speak to a casino host before you check out.
Tips for getting a higher rating when you play table games.
1. Buy in for more than you plan to play. This makes the casino think you are willing to risk more.
2. Make your first bet higher if the pit is looking on.
3. Play at a crowded table. The game is slower.
4. Don't make your bet until they Pit Boss has taken your card and logged you in.
5. Tip the dealers.
6. For blackjack, take your bathroom breaks during the shoe not while the dealer is shuffling.
7. For craps, buy in and tell the dealers to put you up across the board but don't have the bets working right away. Wait a couple rolls and then take them down.
8. For slots, after you have played for while, tell a slot attendant that you would like to speak to a casino host. Continue playing until the host gets there and then introduce your self. Ask if you have enough play for whatever comp you are seeking.
John Grochowski (author/columnist)
1. Don't just count on the players club booth to issue comps. Introduce yourself to a casino host. Hosts have the power of the pen--they can write meal comps or comp your room without deducting points from your players club account. If you ask for a meal comp at a slot club booth, they'll almost always deduct points in exchange. If you've played enough and a host sees you as someone the casino would like to encourage returning, he or she can write the comp without deducting points. Be sure to be polite--you want the host to WANT to help you. You won't get the comp every time, but it's worth pursuing.
2. Players who have hosts might try charging all their meals or anything else they purchase at their casino hotel to their room accounts instead of asking for comps upfront. Often, a meal that you'd have to pay for early in the trip before you've played much can be comped after the fact if you've charged it to your room.
3. Take advantage of direct mail offers. The goal of casino comps is to encourage you to return. Some of the most generous casino offers come through the mail--bonus cash, bonus slot club points, free meals, free tournaments, free or discounted rooms and more. The offers often have restricted dates and expiration dates. If you can manage, plan your trip for days that you can use the direct mail offers.
4. Try to combine offers. Sometimes you'll get multiple mailings from the same casino, and sometimes the offers will overlap. I once received one offer from a casino where I'd played a bit, but never stayed, for a free room and an entry into a video poker tournament, and the next day received another mailing from the same casino, offering triple slot club points and a $50 food credit. Given that I was planning a trip anyway, that was too much to pass up.
Frank Scoblete (author/columnist)
1. Always tip on top of your bet so that you control the tip. Your tip will now be thought of as a part of your average bet and you'll get more comp points for it.
2. Always ask for a comp 10 minutes before you have decided to leave so that the rater thinks he's kept you at the table an extra 10 minutes waiting for the comp. It's rare that you'll play that 10 minutes and not get a comp.
3. Don't ask for comps that you know you can't get, such as the gourmet room if you're a $10 bettor. Raters like to say yes. However, always ask for a comp that is a little higher than you actually want so that when the rater says, "Sorry, sir, you can't have the cafe," you can say, "Then can I have the buffet -- for two?" You'll get the buffet because that is what you really wanted all along.
4. Always comp as you go. Some casinos want you to wait until the end of your stay before they decide which comps they will give you. This leaves them in the driver's seat and you begging at the end of your stay, which is not a pleasant feeling. If you comp as you go, you've got the comps you want. If they say no, you can always wait until the end of your trip and ask again.
5. Never play for comps. No sandwich, no gourmet meal, no anything, is worth the expected loss you must have for the casino to give it to you. Just play your game and take the comps as they come.
Winnie Grand (advantage player/columnist)
1. Don't ask for comps
until you have played a substantial amount. The complimentaries you receive are
based on tracked play and the amount of play required will vary from casino to
casino. If you have just arrived at the casino and ask for a comp with no play
history, you will surely get a "no" answer to your request.
2. Talk to a host about the required play for various "goodies" at their casino. This can be done either before or after playing as you are only asking for information. You might tell the host that you usually play x amount of dollars on your visits and ask them what you might expect from that play. Often you will get a wealth of information from this conversation and can then decide if your level of play will get what you want at that particular casino.
3. Don't abuse the comp system. Many people take advantage of the casino by running up large bills at the gourmet restaurants. Their attitude is "anything goes" because they don't have to pay. The casinos are not happy with the customers who do this and will remember you in a negative light if this occurs. Enjoy the comps you are given but only use what you really want.
4. Complimentaries are just that- not a sure thing but a gift from the casino. Be grateful and show your appreciation to your host when you receive these gifts. A personal note after a visit is always a good idea and will help you build a good relationship with the casino.
Jeff Compton (author/columnist)
1) Do not get overwhelmed by the concept that it is free - it is not free, you are paying with it with your play - and frequently it will cost you more than it would it you paid cash.
2) It is better to play at as few casinos as possible to get the most out of a system. Many of the best benefits do not kick in until you play at a certain level, so if possible, find your favorite casino and stay there.
3) No casino comp system can be completely understood and mastered quickly - it takes a continue effort of using your eyes and ears.
Anthony Curtis (author/publisher/columnist)
1. Ask.
2. Understand your favorite slot clubs and work through their systems.
3. Sign up for things when at the casino. This enhances chances of getting low-level comps through the mail.
4. Get rated when you play table games.
5. Read the advice of the real experts in Comp City, Frugal Gambler, and the upcoming More Frugal Gambling.
Bob Dancer (author/columnist)
1. Be ready to use whatever circumstances are appropriate at the moment. For example, if you hit a big jackpot, ask for a comp. Casinos want to keep winners in the casino so they can give the money back. On the other hand, if you have a bigger-than-average loss, ask for a comp. Casinos want to "soothe the pain" of big losers so they'll come back. And since you don't know which of these events will occur on your next trip (conceivably both), you have to be ready to ask either way.
2. Generally speaking, you get more asking a host than you do asking at the slot club booth. At many casinos, booth workers are $7 an hour brand-new employees who are given little discretion in comping. Hosts are more experienced and are given more leeway.
3. Before you ask for a comp, ask other players who the best host is to ask. At many casinos there is at least one host who acts like Santa Claus and will give you the moon, and another one that acts like Ebenezer Scrooge and treats every comp issued as making his children starve. When you are asking for favors, you want the first type of host.
Skip Hughes (video poker web site host/columnist)
When the overall return is about equal (due to
differences in cash back, for instance) try to play games that are "low
variance" such as Jacks or Better or Pick'em, rather than a game with
variance, such as NSU Deuces or Double Bonus. This gives you a better chance of "staying in the game", and accumulating more playing time and "coin-in".
2. Play where they have a high "comp rate". This is not always easy to determine and it does change, but there are sources on the Internet that can help.
3. Always try to develop a relationship with a host. This is not hard. It's what they do. Hosts are not just for high rollers. Turn on your change light and when a floor person arrives, ask for a host. When the host arrives, introduce yourself, explain how much you usually play and ask how much play it takes for a buffet, room comp etc. Most hosts will be forthcoming. Be sure to get his or her card and keep it. You can "try out" different hosts at a casino, but once you have found one you like, try to stick with that one. Write
down the host's working hours on the back of the card so you'll know when to call.
4. If you are
starting out, play at a number of different places to see if you can generate a
mailed offer. Such offers can often come from very little play and they also
may be better than the comps you can get from a host. Mailed offers come from
the Casino Marketing department, while the hosts usually work for a department
called Player Development. It's good to have both sources to work with. Even if
you receive a mailed offer, you can contact your host to book it. This helps
you to develop a relationship with you host.
Many casinos as much better at sending mailed offers than others. Again, this kind information changes and comparisons can be found on the Internet.
5. Always be nice, polite and appreciative of what is offered to you.
LV Pro (advantage player)
1. Make sure that you're using a player's card. If playing
slots or video poker, make sure to insert the card into the machine at the
start of play. If a table game, present the card to the dealer who will pass it
to the floorperson. The suit will start a rating card on you, noting amount of
buy-in, average bet and time played.
2. Ask. Ask. Ask. Even if you don't think you qualify. You'll be surprised at the comps you can get by asking. Recently I played blackjack at the Tropicana LV. I played for an hour, betting $10, $15, $20, $25, up to a few $100 bets. Just on a whim I asked for a comp to Follies Bergere, their big evening show which costs $55 or so per ticket. They checked their computer and asked how many tickets I wanted. I was absolutely shocked that I was actually going to get the tickets. No way did I think I had enough play for 2 tickets valued at $110. Once again, and I can't stress this enough: Ask. The worst they can do is say "no".
3. Here's how to expand a meal comp. If at first they can offer you either two for the buffet or one for the coffee shop [which you would prefer], take the comp for 2 for the buffet. Find out what time the buffet closes. Show up with your meal-mate after the buffet has closed and tell a pit boss you came all this way, suffered traffic and parking only to find out the buffet is closed. Ask if there's any other restaurant open now. Of course you'll already know the 24-hour coffee shop is the only open venue. The pit boss will usually change the comp from buffet to coffee shop with no problem.
4. Read Max Rubin's "Comp City".
Mr. Pit Boss (casino supervisor)
1. Make sure you obtain a player's card and always use it every time you sit down on a game.
2. A sure-fire way to make sure you're being rated is to put $500 to $1,000 on deposit at the cage and draw on it in the form of a marker when you sit down at a game. That way there will be a paper trail of your play.
3. The casino is looking for time played, so take advantage of time away from the game. Leave some of your smaller denomination chips at the table and leave the game for 10 to 15 minutes an hour. They will continue to rate you while your gone.
4. If you catch a run and you're wagering more than you usually would, feel free to point this out to the floor supervisor who is rating you. You want to make sure that they see and rate your higher play.
5. If you're usually a $100 average player and you're having a streak of bad luck and decide to play $25, you might not want to be rated since this will lower your average bet and thus reduce your comps.
6. Be pleasant! The better rapport you build with the dealer and the floor supervisor,
the better chance you have in stretching your rating to the limit. Tipping the dealer once in a while will get noticed by the floor supervisor (who was at one time working for tips). That is the defining factor of a nice player, which will probably boost your rating.
7. Most importantly, when you finished playing don't be afraid to ask the floor supervisor what your average bet was and how much time he has you in for. If you disagree, this would be the time to let the supervisor know. If you work on him a little (in a nice way) he may pump up your rating. If he doesn't just be polite and shake his hand because the next time you sit down in his section, he may be more generous with his rating.
8. The bottom line with comps is the longer you play and the higher your average bet, the more you get. Just make sure you always get rated for your play.
Barney Vinson (author)
1. In order to get a casino comp, you usually have to be
rated. Simply give your name to the supervisor when you come to the table.
You'll be rated just like the high rollers are, and entitled to the same
special treatment. (In addition, the casino will know who to bill when you
throw your chair through the plate glass window after losing your life
2. Join the casino's slot club. You'll get credit every time you play the
machines, and you'll be eligible for discounted room rates, free meals, and other casino goodies—plus you can use the card to scrape the ice off your car's windshield. Many slot clubs set aside blocks of rooms for their players during busy times of the year, and if you're a slot club member you may be able to get a room when nobody else can. Even if you don't plan to play the machines, join the slot club anyway. Sometimes you get a free gift just for signing up. At the very least, you're now on the casino's mailing list, which means you'll start getting coin vouchers, meal discounts, and room deals throughout the year.
3. Concentrate your play in the casino where you're staying.
4. Introduce yourself to a host, and ask him what it takes to get a free room,
RFB (room, food, beverages), or free air fare. He'll tell you how much you have to bet, and how many hours a day you have to play to get any of these.
If he tells you that you have to bet $50 a hand for four hours to get a free room, don't let that scare you off. You could bet $25 a hand for eight hours, and be entitled to the same thing.
5. Set up a credit line at the casino cage. Most people who make frequent
gambling trips do this. For one thing, your money is a lot safer in the cashier's cage than it is in your wallet, and you can withdraw it any time you want. An ideal line of credit would be $5,000. You'll need either cash or a pre-authorized check from your bank. Now you're in the casino computer!
"Yes, I would like to get breakfast in the coffee shop, please." Then add nonchalantly, " I'm in the computer."
The supervisor checks, and sure enough you're good for five thousand. He knows he's dealing with someone who has money and will probably gamble with it. He certainly doesn't want to offend this person by denying a simple request for a free meal.
6. When all else fails, just ask for a comp. Getting something for
nothing is what put Vegas on the map in the first place. The easiest comp to get is one to the buffet. It's usually the cheapest—for you and the casino. A breakfast buffet may cost you $3.95, but it costs the casino about 60¢. It's also easier to get a comp in a large casino, because smaller casinos work on a lower profit margin.
Here's how one fellow did it. "Can I get a comp?" he asked the pit boss.
"A comp to what?"
This bit of sound advice comes from Gambling for Dummies by Richard Harroch, Lou Krieger, and Arthur Reber. It's the key to getting the rewards you deserve when you play.
"Don't be afraid to ask for a comp. As long as you are polite and courteous, you can't ask too often. When in doubt, ask. Always ask. Ask your pit boss. Ask the VIP desk. Ask your host. Ask now. Ask later. Ask again. Ask, ask, and ask".
Formula #1
average bet x # decisions per hour x hours played = player's trip/session handle
Formula #2
trip/session handle x casino's advantage (theoretical hold percentage) = player's expected loss (or theoretical)
Formula #3
Player's expected loss x casino's percentage return * = comp dollars
* The expected return percentage percentage is different from one casino to the next. For example local's casino in Las Vegas tend to offer a 10-20% return on a player's theoretical whereas strip casinos average 20-40%. Note that the amount a player actually wins or loses per session may be much more or much less then his theoretical but over many sessions his actual results will approach the calculated theoretical loss.


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Links to Teams meetings for Library @ 8am
Composting and recycling not only help us meet Nashville's ambitious waste reduction goals, but they are also economical! Help us demonstrate this by going to the MNPS Waste Warriors Facebook Page. Like and share it with others you know!
The Society of St. Andrew is handling our composting and food re-direction and H.G. Hill Middle School's composting and food re-direction, too. They have been our partners in this since the beginning (our food audit last year). We need to generate money for the Society to cover the costs associated with composting. You can send a donation directly to them at:
Society of St. Andrew
Jeanie Hunter, SoSA Tennessee
c/o City Road Chapel UMC
701 Gallatin Pike S.
Nashville, TN 37115
Specify that the donation is for Composting or you can donate directly by using the button above to take you to their site.
We learned about plastic waste!
Teachers and Classes
Our faculty is a healthy balance of experience and youthful enthusiasm. You'll find experienced professionals who have dedicated their lives to the education of children.
Join our PTA
Our PTA supports many things at Westmeade. They purchased Interactive White Boards for all the classrooms as well as classroom carpets and other classroom needs. They are a friendly group that likes to be involved. Come Join them! You can contact the PTA through email.


text:
Belyn Key
Keystone Short Sleeve Polo
Item No. 2000000001987
Additional Information
Our Short Sleeve Keystone Polo is our 'not-so-basic' basic. Designed to look like a blouse, it is fully seamed up the front, for an easy pull over style, with no buttons or snaps. The collar is bonded for a 'starched' appearance, but it is super soft to the touch, and easy care. Performance never looked so sophisticated on course.


text:
Baby & Kids Clothing & Accessories Toddler Clothing & Accessories Toddler Accessories Toddler Mittens & Gloves Kombi The Crazy Cariboo Childrens Mitt Black
Kombi The Crazy Cariboo Childrens Mitt Black
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Designed for young children with, above all, their parents in mind, these mitts have long bell cuffs with full-length zippers to easily slide your toddler's hands in. Inside, the thumb is red to help guide little fingers. Outside, there are mitt clips to make sure your child never loses this pair!
- Shell: Water-resistant and breathable polyester with strong yarn construction
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Ages 2-6 Years
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text:
It was a spooky coincidence -- probably.
The El Paso County Commissioners Court on Monday was debating whether to allow a group to conduct a nighttime search for ghosts in the Courthouse when suddenly the lights went out.
Eyes turned to the back of the room where some wag might have hit the switch, but everybody was still in their seats. Besides, the lights outside the meeting room in the lobby were out as well. About 30 yards away, they still burned in the commissioners' offices.
By the spectral glow of cell phone and flashlight, Commissioner Dan Haggerty elicited a nervous laugh when he said the commissioners had better approve the search for the paranormal. Shortly after he did, the lights came back on.
So now Ghost-EP will investigate whether ghosts, goblins or some other ghoulish phenomena rattle around the glass Courthouse at night.
The current building has only been there since 1991, so its history might seem too short to cultivate a rich crop of phantasma. But two other courthouses going back to 1885 have been on the same parcel. Maybe revenants stalk the new Courthouse after sitting on the bench or sweeping the floors in one of the old ones.
There are several tales of the apparently paranormal in the new Courthouse. Commissioner Anna Perez said she saw a ghost called James on the 5th floor.
"There also has been unusual elevator activity," she said -- one of several stories of the lifts doing unaccountable things.
Late one recent Saturday night, a county worker was on the 1st floor near the District Clerk's office. Nobody else was around, but he heard an eerie, fading laugh anyway.
"There's stories of judges who preside in different courtrooms," said Chris Medina of Ghost-EP, a group of about 20 who conduct investigations into the paranormal as a pastime.
Ghost-EP is working with county officials to schedule a search.
Medina said he and his colleagues use video and voice recorders and still cameras to try to record weird phenomena and then they look for a logical explanation.
Most unexplained incidents involve sounds picked up by audio recorder that nobody present could hear, he said. But Medina also claims his group has seen actual ghosts, although it hasn't gotten any on tape.
"We've seen shadow people," Medina said. "We've seen things move. We've seen things move on command at Asarco."
Alas, Monday's blackout at the Courthouse appears to have a more prosaic explanation.
Facilities Manager Monique Aguliar said the outage likely was caused by construction work on the Courthouse's lower level.
"You couldn't have timed it better," she said.
Marty Schladen may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.com; 546-6127.
Adriana Chávez contributed to this story.


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London - Hyde Park 10k 2019
London - Hyde Park 10k
Sunday 28 Jul 2019
£14.99 Adults | £14.99 Young Adults | £10.00 Children
10k is a great step up from our 5k events, that's still achievable for everyone. Join a Race for Life 10k event and help raise valuable funds for cancer-beating research.
Key Information
Date: Sunday 28 Jul 2019
Time: 09:00
Adults: £14.99
Young Adults: £14.99
Children: £10.00
Under 6 entry (Girls and boys): free and no registration needed
Venue: Hyde Park, Off South Carriage Drive, London, SW7 1SE View map
Distance: 10k
The Hyde Park route takes place in and around Hyde Park, on roads and pathways. There are a couple of gentle inclines and downhill stretches too.
Hyde Park Corner is the closest tube station, with Knightsbridge, South Kensington, and Marble Arch all within walking distance. There are also several buses to Hyde Park. Please do travel by public transport as there is no parking available at Hyde Park.
This course is wheelchair accesible with assistance
Don't forget to bring your friends and family along to support you. Spectators and participants are welcome to stay at the park throughout the day and continue to enjoy what Hyde Park has to offer. There will also be some extra activities and items to buy so please remember to bring some spare change.
Share this page


text:
Take a look at the description of a typical Future Health Partnership partner, and ask yourself now, does any of this apply to me? If it does, you could be a perfect partner in the Future Health Partnership.
- You like to manage your business by group consensus.
- You are motivated by working together for the community.
- You make decisions so that the people in your business do their jobs smoothly.
- Consensus is important to you.
- You prefer not to cause arguments between yourself and your team.
- You are looking for stability.
- You trust your team.
- You dislike dictatorial authority such that you might get from a typical large corporate.
- You are ready to go along with what your team think might be best.
- You are open, non-directive and participative.
- Honesty is important to you.
- You find what is happening to the industry of healthcare frustrating.
- Doing the right thing for the patient is more important than making a profit.
- The problems that the profit driven corporates are causing is obvious to you.
- You are aware of the crisis that we face within healthcare at this time.
- You feel powerless to change the way things are.
- Dentistry, Medicine and Healthcare can be lonely sometimes, and you are aware of this.
Did you find that many of the above descriptions applied to you? This type of business owner is perfect for the Future Health Partnership as it shows your commitment to working with an empowered team, helping your patients and working to change the way healthcare is structured in the UK.
If you are you looking for a new approach, one that helps recapture the values that inspired you to join our profession in the first place, then have a conversation with us today on 0800 078 9402 or email us on firstname.lastname@example.com.


text:
I was hoping I could really put in work but I liked the simply vibes the video game so i kept it. It needs some editing but it is titled "rambling thoughts" which is why I kind of let the song take its own form towards the end. I had fun performing even though I was really sick and nasty sounding. Anyways, enjoy!
Author Archives: cflores02
Ableton final
Ableton draft 2
This has bad vocals and just words, I need to fix them better into the mix! I am working on the drums but honestly I might just had a loop and work within that
Live Draft 1
this was hard hard only because I didn't understand the program, its really long so i think its gonna be shorter for the final performance. it is suppose to be a softer piece with weird vocals coming in and out.
Logic Final
Here was what I had with vocals included, I think this has potential to be an okay song but It has to be worked on more. Again will probably take this off once class is over!
Logic draft 2
In this draft, I fixed/ add some automation and tried to include some build ups. was still writing the lycrics
Logic draft 1
Here it is, not vocals just draft, will probably remove after Mark is done grading
Galaxies of Misadventure- Lily Flores. Final Loop project
This is the final project. Every time I do one of these I always see that I have a long way before becoming decent at mixing, however the lessons did help out with the more obvious issues that could have happened. Paying attention to detail was probably the tricky part for me, but I really wanted to capture an outer space type of vibe. I took the comments I got into consideration and I hope it comes through in this mix. I had too much fun towards the end, I may have gone a bit overboard, but I had fun doing it. It runs very long, but I didn't keep to the tradition structure of todays music and I really wanted to play with silence and it giving music the room it needed to kinda just be. Anyways, enough rumbling, hope you like it!
Going nowhere, finding no spaces for us, for us.
Galaxies laced, love's a deranged game for us, for us
Pre Chorus
Are you okay? Are you okay if I explore your mind, invade
Is it the same? Is it the same? My thoughts invade, take you away
Galaxies of misadventures, floating now I feel the pressure
Galaxies of misadventures, floating now I feel the pressure
(musical pause)
Can I rewind? Cosmic explosions tore us, tore us
Nowhere to hide, I am the blame that tore us, tore us
Pre Chorus
Are you okay? Are you okay if I explore your mind, invade
Is it the same? Is it the same? My thoughts invade, take you away
Galaxies of misadventures, floating now I feel the pressure
Galaxies of misadventures, floating now I feel the pressure
An incident, a mishap, the universe never gave us a chance
In the sky, I am alone
I ask of you to open your heart up, dark abyss, your shadows
The only light were from dead stars and dreams
I lost you, debris came.
All that remained was my uncertainty
Where would I go?
The Darkness was never-ending, and the misadventures enclosing on me.
Midi Loop song draft Lily
Hey guys! Sorry for the late submission but I was having a hard time putting it together in a way that I was happy. Either way, here is a very rough draft of where I want my song to go. I was inspired by very experimental sounds and an out of this world kind of environment. I love softer, more smoother music so I gave it a short. The update on logic was tricky because a lot of the key commends ended up changing but it was all manageable. This is the first time I ever made a song with loops and I'm really excited on how this is gonna come. I think after I edit and finalize it, I will post lyrics, but for the moment, enjoy!