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Hellooooooo, is anyone (deep) out there? For God's sakes, according to the trailers and the number one film at the box office "It", we are a country of violent dunces. Do me a favor, go see Stronger and redeem our collective reputation.
Funny thing is, before the violent 8 trailers, my companion and I realized we were both feeling trepidation about seeing the movie. Here I thought my dear friend Dave wanted to see it and I was worried it would be too schmaltzy for me. Meanwhile my friend thought I really wanted to see it and was also somewhat reluctant. Since it was my idea, a lump was in my throat at the film's start that I would be looking like the idiot and that had wasted our hard earned doe. Fortunately, we both loved it, he-man and tom boy alike.
Stronger is not just a man gets injured, man learns to walk again. It's literally a biopic of a real human being, with real failings (arrested development, toxic family, menial job). It's also not a jingoistic let's nail the terrorists film and in fact, actually looks at all angles of military service. If I was again a woman in my mid thirties, wishing my then husband would mature beyond lothario, this might be the movie that could cause such an epiphany (though realistically, probably not since Wonder Boys didn't do the trick).
But I digress…can we give Jake Gyllenhaal a definite nomination? I mean, the guy works his a@$ off. The last film I saw him in was South Paw, a mediocre film, but JG's six pack of steel deserved some kind of accolade. Before that, in a movie I loved, Nightcrawler, he became a shriveled violence-porn addict. In Stronger, he pulls off a skinny Mass-hole, complete with the accent and through some kind of acting and cosmetic magic, almost seems to possess a different face.
Equally strong is Tatiana Maslany who portrays Jake's girlfriend. Tatiana should also get an Oscar nom as you can't fake the mixture of emotion of someone conflicted over duty vs. love, and stay in hopes of someone maturing vs. leave and start over. Fantastic!
Likewise, Miranda Richardson, is tremendous as Jake's alcoholic, narcissistic mother. I mean God Bless her that can't be fun to play such an ignorant attention whore, but she owns that role. In fact, she's so good, I was moved to library request an Oscar nominated performance she did in Tom and Viv.
Negatives? I can't really think of any. I didn't even mind hiding my eyes several times due to my oversensitivity to violence and people on the precipice of injury.
Stronger is more than meets the eye. The fact that two people with vastly different tastes loved it speaks highly of the screenplay (John Pollono/Jeff Bauman), director (David Gordon Green of Pineapple Express-woo woo!) and actors.


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The holidays are usually filled with joy and happiness, but they can also be stressful and overwhelming. This is especially true for those living with chronic illness. The chaos of the holidays can be exhausting. Learn how you can better prepare for the challenges that the holidays can present.
Our guests are Rosalind Joffe, a coach of people with chronic illnesses on how to thrive in the workplace and David Spero, a nurse and the author of "The Art of Getting Well: Five Steps to Maximizing Health When You Have a Chronic Condition."
As always, our expert guests answer questions from the audience.
The opinions expressed on this webcast are solely the views of our guests. They are not necessarily the views of HealthTalk, our sponsors or any outside organization. And, as always, please consult your own physician for the medical advice most appropriate for you.
Judy Foreman:
Hello and welcome to HealthTalk Live [HealthTalk Live has been renamed Health Now with Judy Foreman]. I'm your host, Judy Foreman.
The holidays are usually filled with joy and happiness, but they can also be stressful and overwhelming. This is especially true for those living with chronic illness. The chaos of the holidays can be exhausting. Tonight you'll learn how you can better prepare for the challenges that the holidays can present. We will also share ideas on how you can enjoy the things that matter most this season.
I'm very pleased to welcome tonight Rosalind Joffe, founder and principal of cicoach.com, which stands for chronic illness. It's a Boston area firm, and Ms. Joffe coaches people with chronic illness on how to thrive in the workplace.
Rosalind Joffe, welcome to HealthTalk Live.
Ms. Rosalind Joffe:
Thank you, Judy. I'm delighted to be here.
We're delighted to have you.
We're also very pleased to have with us David Spero who is a nurse, the author of, "The Art of Getting Well: Five Steps to Maximizing Health When You Have a Chronic Condition." He's also a journalist, activist and health educator, and he lives in San Francisco.
David Spero, thank you for joining us.
Mr. David Spero:
Thanks for having me. It's a great topic, and I'm looking forward to this discussion.
Good. Me too.
Let's start with you, Rosalind Joffe. I believe you have multiple sclerosis, MS, in your own experience, do you find that chronic illnesses actually get worse over the holidays?
Ms. Joffe:
That's a really significant question because, as so many of us know, it's what we think about, those of us who live with a chronic illness. We approach issues such as holidays, birthdays, almost any kind of celebration almost with a sense of trepidation and fear, and some of that comes from our own experience.
The fact is that we do often feel a lot sicker and more tired because we feel we have to put ourselves out more. I know with my experience with multiple sclerosis over the last 30 years, yes, I certainly feel that the more I have to put myself out, the more I strain myself and stress myself, the harder an experience is.
So, specifically, what are the trepidations that you feel, fear of what?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, especially with an illness such as MS where there is this notion that we generally hold that the more we do, the more fatigued we're going to become, the worse we might feel.
Isn't that true?
Ms. Joffe:
Is it true? You know, with any of these chronic illnesses, what's true varies from person it person. What's true is what is true for you. And my suggestion to people that I work with and with my friends and family is, find out what works for you. I, in fact, have found that if I get physically run down, I do feel worse, but doesn't everybody?
Yeah, that's what I was wondering.
Ms. Joffe:
So, very few people can keep pushing themselves and just feel the same. The difference is when you have a chronic illness, these symptoms crop up. Many times they get worse. So if you have optic neuritis occasionally, or if you have numbness or fatigue, or if you live with a heart condition, in fact stress and physical stress in particular but emotional stress too can make your symptoms worse. The real question becomes, does it make the disease state worsen? That remains to be seen.
Well, we'll delve into that in a minute.
David Spero, I believe you have MS as well. Isn't that right? So do you find your disease gets worse with the holidays? Or what's your experience?
Mr. Spero:
You know, there was a time when it did, when I'd get really tired and stressed, and I would just feel bad for the next several weeks or a month, but it doesn't any more. When I kind of learned to set limits and speak up and let my family and other people know what I needed and what I wanted, and when I was able to set limits on myself so that I could do what I wanted to do and not try to do everything, it actually has become a time of healing for me, when I feel better because I'm around people who love me, and it's a time to strengthen our connection with them and reach a better level there. And also, you know, it's the holidays. It's the end of the year. It's a time to kind of reflect on where I am and where I'm going and where I've been. And all of that seems to help.
Can you get a little bit more specific about what are these limits? How do you do them? How do you enforce them? Specifically, what do you actually do that has worked?
Mr. Spero:
Well, we're going to talk a lot about that I think in this next hour because that's what it's all about. I mean, say that you're invited to a party and you know there's going to be 25 people there, and your aunt wants you to come at five o'clock and it's going to go until 11:00. Well, I can't do six hours of party.
Who can? That's a long time.
Mr. Spero:
So I'll come late. I'll come a little later and I'll leave a little earlier, and I'll explain politely that this is what I need to do. And after you do that a couple times, people come to expect it, and they don't give you a hard time about it. And so that's one limit. And of course people want you to eat more and more and more, and you have to learn to say no to that. Things like that.
It sounds like advice we could all use. Yeah, Rosalind.
Ms. Joffe:
I'm going to jump in here.
Ms. Joffe:
Because I'm sure you found this too, David. It's interesting that the longer you live with these illnesses, the easier this gets. For some of us, not everyone. And really, I believe that a lot of this comes down to you because there are many times I've found where no matter how I've tried to set a limit with someone else, and certainly I've heard this from clients, they'll balk. And we see this a lot in the workplace. So it's your own responsibility.
What do you mean they'll balk? Give me an example of a limit and then the other person says no or says, "I can't do that." Or what?
Ms. Joffe:
Or says, you know, "I really don't understand why you can't do that or why could you do this last week, but now you can't. Why could you attend this, go and do something last week and now you can't come to my party?" That's a classic kind of thing that comes up.
So what's your answer to that? What do you say?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, my answer - there are two pieces. What I say to that person and the other is my suggestion to the people listening. What I try to say to other people and to the world at large is, "That's what I live with. I live with something that's fairly unpredictable, and sometimes I'm okay and sometimes I'm not. And it's not really clear what's going to trigger that."
And what I try to tell the people that I work with is it's really up to you, as David was saying, to figure what your limits are and to feel comfortable with them. And that's going to help you whether it's the holidays or any time of the year.
But it sound like you're also saying that it's so unpredictable, maybe when you get all the party invitations you could say, "Look, I'm planning to come. I really want to come. I never know in advance how I'm going to feel or be or act or something."
Ms. Joffe:
You might. That might be one way, absolutely. Recognizing that not everyone understands this. As David said, close family and people you see a lot and care about you are more likely to at least be supportive and know that you're not putting this on. But a lot of other people in the world at large really have a harder time grasping the vague qualities of what this is that you live with.
Both of you, Rosalind and David, could you both just tell us very briefly where your MS stands so our listeners have a sense of where you're at with the disease at the moment. David, what's your situation?
Mr. Spero:
Well, MS is a major part of my life. I've been living with it for over 20 years, and I use assistance to walk. Sometimes it's a cane. Sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes I use a walker. Sometimes I even use a scooter, depending on how far I have to go and how good I feel on that particular day. Other than that things have been really, really good. I have some pain, but that doesn't really bother me very much. I have a lot of energy. I feel really good about my life.
I would say I'm probably happier than I've ever been, and it's not because of the MS, but the MS is actually helped in a way because it forces you to accept reality, accept your limits and focus on what's important and not be so hard on yourself.
Sounds like a good lesson for all of us. And, Rosalind, what's the status of your disease?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, I've had a very different disease course than David in the sense that when I first became sick, which was 30 years ago almost now, I was very ill. I've had everything from severe optic neuritis…
Do you want to explain to people what that is?
Ms. Joffe:
I was basically blind in one eye for several weeks. But I've had many, many different symptoms with this. I've had spasticity. I've had severe bladder dysfunction, numbness, unable to walk, cognitive dysfunction. And I've also had [a completely separate illness] ulcerative colitis, and I had it very severely. That made everything much worse. I was really disabled from that. Surgery cured the ulcerative colitis after five years, but that was the worst time in my life. I really could not function very well. I was running very high fevers, very, very sick, needed transfusions.
Now, after all of that, I then went on the newer MS drugs and was very fortunate because in the last ten years, I have been in remission for the first time. I didn't use assistive devices as David did, but I was really fatigued as well. And yet I've found I am now at 55 years old and healthier than I've been in the last 30 years because I spent the last ten years just being able to become healthier. My children are also grown, so that's made it easier. I have less physical demands, but I use a lot of other things that I do. I practice spirituality, practice meditation, but I also work out daily. I've broken many, many bones and no longer fall. My balance is better. But I attribute a lot of this to the medication. I had done many a thing before that to get better and nothing worked, and this is the first thing. So I feel very blessed.
Well, it sounds like you're both in a good place, which is great.
To get back to the holiday issue - again, this question is for both of you - what are the biggest pitfalls, like in terms of stress and other kind of disasters, of the holidays for people with chronic illness? David, what do you think are the biggest things to watch out for?
Mr. Spero:
I think it depends on you and your condition. I used to be an emergency room nurse for many years, and you're right that the holidays actually are the biggest time of year, the worst time of year for things like heart attacks and stroke and murder, you know. A lot of things happen in the holidays because of the combination of stress and of overeating and of overactivity and sometimes family arguments and quarrels, and it can all be very stressful.
Not to mention alcohol.
Mr. Spero:
And alcohol. So it is a very stressful time, especially, I think, around family get togethers. And the flip side of that is if you're lonely and isolated and you don't have that, then that can make you depressed, and it's a big time for suicide too. So if you've got people, they can overstress you, and if you don't…
That's stressful too.
Mr. Spero:
Yes, it is.
Yeah. Rosalind, what do you think are the biggest pitfalls for people with chronic illness around the holidays?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, I come at it from my perspective, which is as a mom, part of a very large extended family that we have, as well. So there are always a lot of events, a very big social life when the children were growing up, constant feeding people and taking care of people and guests, and also as someone who always worked. And I think that for anybody you describe, that for a healthy person you put that together and it's a recipe for feeling tired and angry and disgruntled if you overdo it, and especially if you have a chronic illness.
So my own experience is that women in particular tend to really take this on. They feel they have to do everything. I know I certainly did, and it took me a long time to figure out. I love to cook and I love to entertain, and it was very hard to say I couldn't do it and to realize, in fact, I didn't enjoy it. I found that by the time something would happen, I was so worn out, numb and miserable in my body that I didn't enjoy the event. And that was a very hard lesson to learn.
Yeah, as you say that's hard for everybody, whether they have a chronic illness or not. But, yeah, you probably have fewer resources if a lot of your energy is going toward dealing with the illness.
Mr. Spero:
Judy, that's a big challenge. What Rosalind was just talking about is the difference between being called to do something, doing something because you want to do it, and feeling driven to do it. "Do it because I always did it" or "they expect it of me" or "I have to or I'm a bad person if I don't." And it's those things that I think you're driven to do which are the things that really knock you out. And if you focus on the things that you really want to do, then you're going to be in a much better situation.
Then who feeds the family for Christmas dinner - who does it if you don't? You know, especially for women if you're feeling it's your job, it's really tough. I guess you maybe suggest that people in the family or people who are coming do it as a potluck or divide up the jobs, so it doesn't all fall on one person. Is that what you would suggest, Rosalind? Or David? Both of you?
Ms. Joffe:
I would just want to add there's another level that I think comes up, and that's why these are all opportunities, as David said before, to learn more about yourself.
What I find is it's not just about we feel we should do it. It's also maybe we like doing it, and sometimes it's hard to give up something we like doing. Maybe we like doing this but not in the way that we used to be able to do it. So that's another loss. And to face those losses are what we deal with when we're dealing with chronic illness. We're recognizing our limitation and then seeing it as an opportunity. We're developing confidence that we can use in other areas about where we say no and where we say yes to ourselves.
A lot of people have unreasonable expectations for the holidays, whether they're able bodied or not. We may imagine perfect family dinners, peaceful evenings by the fire, sipping hot cocoa, and the stockings "hung by the chimney with care," all that kind of stuff. But nobody gets all their expectations met, and a lot of people, healthy or not, end up feeling sad or anxious or lonely or depressed. And I'm sure that having a chronic illness can actually intensify these filings.
David, let's start with you. These are difficulties and pitfalls that everybody faces, but for someone with a chronic illness, how do you kind of avoid the unrealistic expectations?
Mr. Spero:
Well, I was going to say I think people with a chronic illness might have an advantage on this one. Because we live with this 365 days a year. The normal expectations that we thought we were going to have, that we see other people having or we think they're having, we can't always do them. So, you know, you have to survive. You have to become a little more realistic and accept that there are a lot of things that you can't do.
That makes a lot of sense, like your whole life is kind of juggling what you can and can't do, and you've gotten more realistic, and other people who think they can still do it all just get overwhelmed.
Mr. Spero:
Absolutely, and it can make them really miserable. So a person who's been through chronic illness for a while and has learned to cope with it like Rosalind was talking about, that's why we're frequently happier and in better shape than a lot of healthy people - because they haven't realized that they have limits yet.
That's very optimistic. It's wonderful to hear. Rosalind, do you have anything to add on the expectations side?
Ms. Joffe:
I think what you both said really is right on the mark because, in fact, I think that is the lesson, and the chronic illness has many lessons. And in fact the more we keep ourselves open to learning - and that's what I was talking about before, is seeing these opportunities and learning about ourselves - then the more fluid and the more we can stay in balance with ourselves.
And don't approach everything as something from which we can be disappointed, but see it as what can we get from this, what's the opportunity here. And chronic illness does teach you that, if you allow it.
Yeah, I love that you're both basically saying that people with chronic illness who have sort of gotten more realistic have a lot to teach the rest of us about the holidays. That's terrific.
You both mentioned spirituality, and I want to hit on that at a number of points during this hour, but is it important during the holidays to allow yourself emotional space to acknowledge your loneliness or your sadness or your grief or your frustrations? David, what do you think about that?
Mr. Spero:
It's always important to allow yourself that space because there is a lot of it. We're putting a happy face on chronic illness here, Rosalind and I, but there is a lot of pain, and there is a lot of loss, and if you don't grieve it and you don't acknowledge it, it weighs you down. It's like carrying this big weight around, this weight of pain. So, you know, I'm always encouraging clients to let themselves cry or even help themselves cry.
How do you do that?
Mr. Spero:
What I do is I have some songs and some CDs and some movies that I know make me cry, and when I feel like I haven't cried for a while I put one on. Plus, I sort of cry fairly easily anyways, but it's not always tears of grief, sometimes it's tears of joy. But, yeah, I actually recommend that and not just for people with chronic illness.
That sounds really like good advice. Chopping onions doesn't do it, I suppose.
Rosalind, what do you think? Especially during the holidays, how do you get that emotional space? Do you leave the dinner table and go to the bathroom for 15 minutes and kind of get in touch with what's going on with you? Or how do you actually juggle it in the midst of the chaos?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, I suppose part of it is I don't - I started to say I don't necessarily feel it just at the holidays. I could feel it at any point. But if I put myself into a moment and I think of something in which it's all boiling up - maybe you're around a lot of family and stuff is coming up - I don't find for me it's taking the space away, but I have taught myself techniques over many, many years in which I can pay attention to what's going on.
Well, share with us some of those techniques. How do you do it?
Ms. Joffe:
I use a lot of meditation, and recently, in fact, I've worked with my clients from a book called, "The Power of Focusing," and I find that very, very useful. This woman, Ann Weiser Cornell, has developed this book in which she teaches and takes you through the steps of focusing. I find it's very useful.
But in the middle of the family dinner?
Ms. Joffe:
When you become good at this, you can do it in the middle of running to the store, if you run, or driving, or at any moment in time. I have clients who've done it in the middle of work meetings when they're simply trying to get in touch with what's going on with them.
So is it a breathing thing? Is it a breathing exercise?
Ms. Joffe:
It's somewhat of a breathing thing, but it's more paying attention to what your body is experiencing.
So the mindfulness.
Ms. Joffe:
Yes. With chronic illness, there's a lot that's going on with our bodies, so the more we can be aware of how our bodies are responding and not fighting it - so much of this is not fighting it and just accepting it, rather than internalizing a lot of negative stuff. And that allows us to move through the moment more easily. It sounds like a lot of gobbledygook, but in fact it's very practical.
No, it sounds very wise to me. It sounds very wise and very helpful. This whole Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa time of year also coincides with the winter solstice. It's the darkest time of the year, literally, and a lot of people get S.A.D., S A D, the Seasonal Affective Disorder. It really gets worse for a lot of people, and it can be kind of a chronic illness in and of itself added onto whatever chronic illness you already have. What do you suggest, David, for people who do experience this seasonal depression or winter depression?
Mr. Spero:
Well, I think, as with any depression, it's important to get where things are well lit, to get where there's people around. They have these light boxes that do help some people.
I know. I've used them. I think they do help.
Mr. Spero:
Yeah, I think they do too. You can just get a full spectrum bulb, actually. My wife has bad Seasonal Affective Disorder, and she uses one of these bulbs, and it really helps her. But if you get out where there's people and where there's light, and especially if you move around - which is not always easy with chronic illness - but physical exercise is a terrific way of dealing with that.
Rosalind, do you have anything to add on that? The S.A.D.
Ms. Joffe:
I've never used a light box but I know my husband does, and he's found it useful. I agree with everything that you're saying, especially about getting around people. That's one of the reasons I found with my clients that work, and that's one of the reasons that I do what I do. I find that people who are around people, certainly in a work setting, you're interacting, and it takes you a little bit out of yourself.
The other thing that I find is on a bleak day, just getting outside and getting some sunlight, if you can, helps.
Yeah, depending on where you live.
Ms. Joffe:
Depending on where you are. And even if there's no sun, just getting natural light helps as well.
Well, we've been talking about the kind of the downer side of the holidays, especially in terms of the interpersonal stuff, and we'll definitely come back to that. But, David, you mentioned people living alone. How can they cope with the holidays?
Mr. Spero:
That's a really great question, because loneliness is a chronic condition in and of itself. If you look at the statistics it's probably the biggest risk factor for death, so learning how do deal with loneliness is really important.
I'd say if you're living alone and you're disabled or sick, to be a member of a support group is great. Have somebody you can call, maybe some people to come over, at least talk on the phone. There might be community centers that you can go to. There might also be community programs like, say, if there's a program that's going to be delivering holiday meals, sign up for it, not just to get the meal but to get the visits too. So those are some ways of dealing with it.
It still sounds kind of bleak to me. I mean, is there a way to make it less bleak?
Ms. Joffe:
I have a suggestion, and this is from my own experience. Once again, my bias is work of some kind really is satisfying and soul-filling if you can figure out how to make it so. Even if you're disabled to the point where you feel you can't work, volunteer. Do something that involves other people in which you feel like you're giving to other people.
And that's sort of this old notion, but in fact I've heard from several clients that it really works, especially around the holiday season when they're feeling isolated and alone. It can, in fact, help you feel you're not the only one who's suffering in the world, but it also gives you a sense of value. And I think what really isolates people is the sense that they have no value.
That's a really great point. I like that. Yeah, go ring a bell for the Salvation Army or something.
I wanted to move on a little bit to the whole business about gifts. Gift buying can be enjoyable, but obviously it's really physically taxing for even the most able bodied. There's the shopping mall, the parking lots, not even mentioning the stress of spending money. What do you suggest for minimizing the craziness about gifts for people with chronic illnesses? Rosalind?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, I think we're starting to sound like a broken record if we say it this way, but it's the same thing: know your limits. Be clear about what you can do. Certainly gifts are for people who love you and if you're doing it from the "shoulds," you've got to get over it because gifts should be something that's pleasurable. And when you live with something like a chronic illness and you have a disability because of that, you've got to take care of yourself and recognize what's possible. There are other ways of doing this and not going to malls. It's easy to do it online.
The other thing is that many people with chronic illness, at least in my experience, they're more financially deprived - maybe that's a nice way of saying it. Many of them live at a poverty level for all kinds of reasons, and they don't have that extra money. So you can feel even more destitute because you don't have the money to spend on gifts. Or you can see it as an opportunity to give gifts in other ways. It's another opportunity to be creative about what you do.
Okay. David, any thoughts on gifts before we go for a break?
Mr. Spero:
That's all good. I'm not a big shopping person, but I would stress that the things that you can do for yourself, the things that you can create, even if it's just making a drawing or on the computer, a card, something like that. You don't have to go out to the store and shop. And of course you can always shop online if you can afford that.
Yeah, thank God for the Internet.
We're going to take a short break now. Stay with us. This is HealthTalk Live.
You're listening to HealthTalk Live. I'm Judy Foreman.
Tonight we're talking about stress during the holiday season. Our guests are Rosalind Joffe, founder and principal of CIcoach.com, and David Spero who is an RN, author of, "The Art of Getting Well: Five Steps to Maximizing Your Health When You Have a Chronic Condition."
We have a couple of e mail questions that have come in that I'd like to read now. The first one is from David in Beaverton, Oregon. He writes, "Some of my family members are really supportive and understand what my limitations are due to my MS, but other family members just think I'm exaggerating or looking for sympathy. How can I either make them understand or shrug them off?"
David, do you want to take the first crack at that one?
Mr. Spero:
Yeah, I would. You can't actually make anybody understand anything if they don't want to understand. It might help to have them come to a support group, though, and see that it's not just you, that's it's a lot of other people.
Would they do that?
Mr. Spero:
I don't know. They might if you make it clear that it's important to you.
The other piece - the part about shrugging it off - is you've got to be solid. You've got to be assertive: "This is me, I'm saying the truth. If you don't like it that's really not my problem." And without being mean about it, of course, but you've got to be consistent. You can't make them make you doubt yourself.
Yeah, it sounds like that would be a challenge.
Rosalind, what do you think about the question about how do you get people to understand?
Ms. Joffe:
I want to say to David who wrote in that that's a question and an issue that almost all of my clients deal with, whether it's family and friends, whether it's at work, and I think it's a real problem. What David Spero said is absolutely true. It's all about you. You have to feel confident and that's not easy when you're living with symptoms that are invisible, for one thing, most of the time and that are relative. We talk about pain. You can tell someone, my back hurts today. Your back might hurt a certain way and another person's back might hurt another way. How do we measure response?
This is a really tough issue. The only thing that you have is your experience, and you have to work on feeling okay with your experience and know that in fact your responses to things are real for you. That's not easy.
It sure isn't. You're both sort of talking about the invisibility of certain symptoms. There must also be the flip side of things where people see the walker or the wheelchair or the cane, and do some people get overly solicitous and make you focus on that when you really want to sing Christmas carols?
Mr. Spero:
Yeah, I think they do. It is exactly the same situation, exactly the same problem. Like I'll go to dances with a walker because I need something to hold onto, but I'll get out on the floor with a walker and dance and people will, say, at first look at you a little strange, but after a while that turns to admiration, and like Rosalind said it's all about being confident in yourself and being you and realizing that that's okay.
That's hard enough for anybody but especially hard if you've been struggling with a chronic illness. On the other hand, I like what you're both saying about the confidence you can get from that struggle and sort of personal growth journey can really stand you in good stead.
We have another e mail question. This one is from Joanne from Des Moines. She writes, "What if you also have a child who is seriously disabled? I feel like even when I'm struggling with my MS that I owe it to him to make the holidays as happy and special as possible."
I think she's saying that she's not feeling great herself and yet she's got a kid who needs her help and how much should she extend herself or not?
Mr. Spero:
That's another wonderful question because it applies to so many areas of life and not just this situation. Other people always have needs and requests, and for the people that we love, we want to do for them as much as we can. And yet we do have these limitations, actually everybody does. It's not good to run yourself down trying to help somebody else. When you do that, you're not doing nearly as much good as you think you are because you'll be tired, because you'll be impaired, because eventually you'll become resentful.
And so as hard as it is, you've got to say, "You and me, we're in this situation. We're going to have the best holiday we can, but we're not going to make ourselves crazy about it."
I'm going to try to remember all this for myself.
We have another question from Jerome in Washington, D.C.and he writes, "I've been thinking about getting a pet of some kind for my mother for this Christmas. I think it would be good companionship, but she has rheumatoid arthritis. She can still walk and get around pretty well, but she does have this pain. What do you think about getting her this pet?"
Ms. Joffe:
Well, I can respond to that as someone who has had dogs now for the last 15 years. And in fact when I got my recent dog, I started to think I was really crazy because he pulled me over to the point where I fell and was unconscious.
Ms. Joffe:
Well, he was strong, and I wasn't as strong as him. But I got a dog particularly when my children were young because I wanted a normal life for us and thinking this would be good for us. I also found that it made me get out and have exercise.
So that's my point. I think that animals can be wonderful when you have illness because they encourage you to move around. You've got to get out and walk. But it's very important to find the right animal for a person's ability. So you can get dogs that are older, and I've had that as well. Dogs that are more couch potatoes - they're much better for someone who might not have the strength and the agility to be able to walk.
But dogs are wonderful companions. And especially, once again, with a lot of the kinds of ups and downs that one experiences with chronic illness, a dog doesn't notice.
Yeah, that's great. David?
Mr. Spero:
Yeah, I was going to say studies actually show that having a dog lengthens your life expectancy significantly and lowers your risk of heart attacks. However, not everybody is up for a dog for the reasons that Rosalind mentioned. I mean, you don't want to get a big dog that's too big for you or too strong for you. And you might not want a dog at all. There are many other animals.
Yeah, cats for instance. Cats are very easy.
Mr. Spero:
I would advise - I forgot the name who wrote in - not to surprise your relative with a dog. Ask first.
That's a good idea. Yeah, because if she says no, then you've got a new dog yourself.
Mr. Spero:
We have one other question here from Meredith in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She doesn't say what her chronic illness is, but she writes, "How do I make sure my children really enjoy the holidays and aren't so worried about mummy being sick and tired? A lot of the family traditions we used to have are just too exhausting for me to participate in now. How do you take care" - this is a little bit like the other question - "how do you take care of your kids and yourself without sort of putting a damper on your kid's joy?"
Mr. Spero:
Yeah, I think that's another one, and this is a really important lesson to learn for not just people with chronic illness. When you do what's right for you and when you take care of yourself, that makes things better for everybody around you. So if they're worried about you because they see you getting run down, they see you having more symptoms or getting upset. If you're taking care of yourself, then they'll be more relaxed.
As far as the family traditions that you can't participate in, I'm sure you can at least sit there and watch or sing or whatever. You might not be able to do all the physical stuff - you know chronic illness and disability doesn't mean not being able to do things. It means finding different ways to do things.
Okay. That sound like very good advice.
Ms. Joffe:
I'd like to chime in on that one too.
Ms. Joffe:
I raised two daughters with my husband, and I really know the sense of children who are disappointed - and they are, because you can say you're going to participate in a different way, but then you're different, and that's one thing that kids have a really hard time with. One is they don't want their mom or their dad to look different.
To be different, right. Or themselves.
Ms. Joffe:
To be different, and even then it's hard for them to accept this. And one of the things that I found I always held to was that I told my kids from early on that life is just - it's not always what it looks like. And although all the other moms look like they can participate in a certain way, we don't know what goes on beyond those doors, and this is what we live with.
And as they grew up, they started to realize that everyone has some things that aren't quite right, and I saw it as a real teaching opportunity for them to recognize that life's not perfect. You get handed stuff, and it's what you do with it. And I always empathize, but I think it's important to also let them know that not everything is going to go just the way you want it to, but we can accept it and have a good time.
It sounds like it would be a great idea to have support groups for kids whose parents have a chronic illness. It would be nice if the kids could say, "Yeah, my friend's mother is struggling with this too."
We have one e mail from California, an anonymous one, but she or he wanted you guys to both mention your websites. Can you both do that real quickly if people want to look you up?
Ms. Joffe:
Sure. It's "C I," as in chronic illness, CIcoach.com. And I have a newsletter and all kinds of free resources on my website and lots of information.
And David?
Mr. Spero:
Yes. Mine is davidsperorn.com. And it's also full of great stuff.
Good. Well, let's go back to some of the basic issues about holiday stress with chronic illness. I don't want to harp on this too much, but all of those social events with families, that's kind of what the holidays are about. Do you have any suggestions for how you can get your family - or the people that maybe they're not biological relatives but the people you call family - to not let the sometimes destructive dynamics of family relationships get you down during this time? How you can sort of head off the conflicts. Is there any kind of preparatory work you should do? David?
Mr. Spero:
Well, I'm not sure. If your two sisters are the ones that are always fighting, I'm not sure you can head that off. You can have a strong influence on it while you're there, though.
Mr. Spero:
Well, you can be honest, and you can be brave in saying what you're seeing and what you're feeling.
Like what? Can you give us an example?
Mr. Spero:
"When you two are calling each other names, it really upsets me. It hurts my feelings. Maybe you're not even aware of it, but when this happens…." Assertiveness, right? "I" statements. "When this happens it hurts me, it upsets me because I love you both, and I don't like to see you fighting." Something like that.
And what do they do with that?
Mr. Spero:
Well, that's their problem.
Or doesn't it matter?
Mr. Spero:
I mean, over time what we have found in our family, it's a pretty big extended family, is that things do get better. It was actually my two brothers that were having a feud, and we said, "Look, this is hurting all of us, and you need to resolve this, and we'll help you." And they did, and now they're great. And so, I think things can change like that.
That's why I was saying earlier that the holidays can be a time of growth and healing.
If I'm sounding skeptical, it's because I never had the nerve to try that in my family.
Rosalind, what's your take on how to manage or at least protect yourself from potentially destructive family dynamics around the holidays?
Ms. Joffe:
I don't experience it that much around the holidays, to tell you the truth. For me, what I would go to in this conversation is more what I experience with my clients. And what I see around me is that the holidays in general tend to have this overlay of expectations, of us all being happy and cheerful. And a lot of people I'm around say that they feel it particularly at work because, you know, starting at Halloween you walk into an office, and there's tons of food around, food that's bad for people, that's not healthy. People start dressing up, and they wear Halloween costumes to work these days. And then they go into Thanksgiving, and there's once again a ton of food. And you have your family and then you have at work things you have to go to, and then you go into that season between Thanksgiving and New Year's and it's all…
All food all the time.
Ms. Joffe:
And events that you have to show up for at the end of a workday when you're really tired. And what I see is that juggle between all of this - and a lot of this doesn't help you lead a healthy life. It cuts into your alone and personal time with your family when it's work related, and even the personal stuff cuts into your work time and any private time that you might have. So those are the things that I find people really get stressed out about.
Although your advice from both of you earlier in the show was say no to some of these things. Know your limits, say no.
Ms. Joffe:
And recognize that sometimes this is just hard. And I really think there is a way in which that is true. For me, it's not just whether it's a holiday event - I'm Jewish, so we have family celebrations all year around with Passover and Rosh Hashanah. And there's lots of food and lots of family around, and it's never not stressful.
It's always tough when there's a lot of people together who know each other well. But I think it's all part of the same piece of understanding that this is hard, it's hard for a lot of different people, and understanding what about it is hard for you and coming to terms with that and then being able to move forward.
Let's talk about the food piece. In a way that's the great part about the holidays. All those cookies and candies - and I kind of like all that overindulging - but then, come January, nobody likes what they see on the scale. David, how do you deal with the excess of food?
Mr. Spero:
I wanted to bring this one up if you didn't…
Sure. Go for it.
Mr. Spero:
…because I think that food is the single biggest way that the holidays damage people's health. Because not only is there all this unhealthy food around and too much of it, but there's also people pushing it at you. Like your uncle or your aunt cooked this cake, this big cheesecake, and it's just the kind you like and I'll be really hurt if you don't eat it. My new book about diabetes just came out, "Diabetes: Sugar Coated Crisis." It's called, "Who Gets It, Who Profits and How to Stop It." And for people with diabetes, Christmas parties and Thanksgiving, this is a big problem.
Well, can't you just say, I have diabetes. It looks wonderful, but I can't have any?
Mr. Spero:
You could say that. You could say that. Or I can only have very little. But when you've got this delicious food that has all these emotional benefits to it, you know, comfort foods, and everybody else is eating it, it's pretty hard to sit there and not eat it.
There are ways - there are tricks you can do. You can eat some healthy food before you go or you can drink a bunch of water before you sit down. Those things will cut your appetite. Or you can just limit the portions and say, "I'm going to take some of this home with me." There are things that you can do, but it's not easy.
And the other thing, again, is you need to be assertive. Again, the example I just gave you, "I made this cheesecake because I know it's the kind you love," and you say, "Well, thank you. I don't want any cheesecake right now. Can I have a hug instead?" Or something like that. But those skills take time to learn.
Yeah, it is hard. I suppose if you know there's going to be a cheesecake in your immediate future, you could tell your aunt that you love it, but you just can't eat it because it's bad for your diabetes. I think people do get it with diabetes. If you don't have diabetes as a reason, I think it gets harder. Rosalind, do you have any tips in the food department?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, I couldn't agree with you more that food is a real trigger point for a lot of us. It's a way to beat ourselves up, and it's a way to make ourselves feel better or worse. Once again, it's focusing, going to these events with intention, thinking in advance about how you at least want to try to approach it. Do the best you can. Don't beat yourself up afterwards. Say, "Well, there's always another shot at this. I can maybe do this a little bit better for myself the next time." Most importantly is not to use this as an opportunity to get mad at yourselves, but recognize that you're doing the best that you can.
And in terms social psychology, food is a big part of the social glue. You don't want people to be so phobic about food that they have a miserable time. In a way, what's wrong with a little indulgence?
Ms. Joffe:
Well, it really depends, though. If you have something like celiac sprue you can end up very, very ill if you eat the wrong things. [Note: celiac sprue is an intestinal disorder caused by an allergy to gluten, a protein found in wheat]
Yeah, obviously.
Ms. Joffe:
It really depends.
But without specific dietary restrictions.
Mr. Spero:
I agree. There's nothing wrong with having some pleasure. It's a question of quantity, basically. It's a question of balance.
Ms. Joffe:
Yes, the extent - whether it's harming you and how much.
Right. Well, what about alcohol? In your experience, Rosalind Joffe, does alcohol exacerbate the symptoms of some chronic illnesses?
Ms. Joffe:
You know what? I really haven't got a clue. I've never found that it does for myself.
David, do you know?
Ms. Joffe:
David, you might know this better.
Mr. Spero:
Well, yeah, sure. There are some. But basically most people can drink small amounts of alcohol. People with MS can drink alcohol. People with diabetes can drink alcohol, but in small amounts. And I can't think of any kind of condition off the top of my head where you can't drink any.
Well, alcoholism. But other than that.
Mr. Spero:
That's right.
Ms. Joffe:
Well, true, right.
The other - well, not the other - but one of the other big stressors of the holidays is travel, even just getting across town for a party or whatever. Some travel is inevitable, and it's challenging even for the most calm and able bodied. But airports, train stations, buses, highways are really full of hassles. What can somebody with a chronic illness do to make the traveling part of the holidays easier? David, do you want to take a crack at that?
Mr. Spero:
Well, that's a real challenge, and sometimes there isn't any easy answer. But you have to prepare so that you're carrying everything that you might need, whether that's snacks, whether that's medicines, whatever that is. And the other thing is about getting help. When you're in the airport take that wheelchair, ask for the wheelchair, you know, even if you don't really need it, to make it easier on yourself. And leave extra time to get places. Don't try to go too far because it's going to be crowded and then you're going to be stressed, and it is easy to forget those things when you're traveling.
Rosalind, what do you think?
Ms. Joffe:
It's critical to plan ahead, and that's something that took me several years to figure out - what the planning was. I find traveling exhausting.
I do too, actually.
Ms. Joffe:
Yeah, exactly. Everybody does. And I find that airplanes really wipe me out. I don't need a walker, but just standing there after a period of time makes me really tired being in an airplane. So I think it's planning, taking more time. For instance, I'm delivering a speech in a few weeks. Well, I'm leaving earlier in the day than I might like to, but on the other hand I could have gone overnight, and I think about what's going to be best for me, what's going to leave me the most well-rested, and what's the way I can get there? Whenever I can I try to fly direct flights, even if it's not as good a time because I know that walking in airports, really trying to get to one plane from another is more tiring.
You mean nonstop.
Ms. Joffe:
Things like that. Yeah, a nonstop. Thank you. A nonstop. Because it's simple things like that that just makes it easier. But it's taking the time to plan, and sometimes that in itself is a stress. We don't always have that time.
Is it easier for some people with chronic illness to be the host rather than the traveler? Is that a solution if you feel up to hosting people in your own house?
Mr. Spero:
It's a trade off.
Ms. Joffe:
It's an option. It's whatever you think. It's about figuring it out. That's the mantra in this - you have to be responsible to yourself, as David said before, for your family, for everyone around you by taking care of you. That, however it's said, you can show up in the best form that you possibly can. And sometimes we just don't know, and we can't predict.
Right, and as you said before, just acknowledging it can be a tough time of the year can help get you through it.
We actually have an e mail question about travel. I don't know if either of you know the answer, but Judith in Miami Beach writes, "What types of things qualify people for the preboarding passes on airplanes?" She says, "My husband and I will be flying to visit our grandchildren in December. My husband doesn't look sick or disabled, but it takes a long time to get settled or comfortable in those airlines seats."
Do either of you know how you qualify for this?
Mr. Spero:
Yeah, just ask. They'll do it. There's no qualification process. Obviously, if you come up with a walker or a wheelchair, then you'll go right up there, but if you notice, there are a lot of other people taking advantage of preboarding, too. You've just got to be assertive. They may not even ask, but if necessary, you can say, "Well, my husband has got this condition," or whatever it is. There's no formal process, I'm pretty a hundred percent certain of that. Unless Rosalind knows something different.
Ms. Joffe:
No, I don't. That's a very good question.
Mr. Spero:
So just go ahead and ask.
Ms. Joffe:
I think David's right. I think it never hurts to ask, and I'd be surprised if they said no also.
Yeah. I suppose you could always take a cane with you or something if you felt like it was legitimate.
Ms. Joffe:
Look disabled.
Yeah, well, getting around that invisibility problem that we were talking about.
Ms. Joffe:
That's a whole show in and of itself.
Ms. Joffe:
The concept of living with invisible disabilities.
Yes. We have actually had discussions about that.
The other thing - or not the other thing, but another thing about the holidays is that injuries increase a lot. I know, David, you said you used to work in an emergency room. You know, Christmas trees fall over. The lights can catch on fire. You can get burned cooking. The meals, if you are out of shape, which many people are, and they're trying to move heavy furniture around to make room for the tree or to open up the table to more people. People get hurt during the holidays. Rosalind, what do you think in terms of advice for injury prevention for people with chronic illness?
Ms. Joffe:
Slow down. Know your capacity. Take care of yourself. Once again, stay in balance.
Mr. Spero:
You've got to ask for help.
Ms. Joffe:
You can't afford to get too caught up in the moment. You need to really pay attention to yourself and what you can do.
Mr. Spero:
I always say, let the young people do the work. Let the able bodied people do the work.
Yeah, why not? Of course, how you define young can be a slippery slope.
Ms. Joffe:
Or able bodied, also, how do we define that as well?
That's right. That's right. For people with chronic illnesses, is there something or anything they can do to alert family members they may be visiting to help avoid injuries, like, I don't know, increasing the lights in dark hallways or removing loose carpeting that people could fall on, other kind of plain old practical things that could help? Rosalind?
Ms. Joffe:
I certainly think you can try. You can tell people what you need if you know what it is. I think that goes once again in any setting if you're visiting. One of the reasons I find it's sometimes difficult to travel is that I'm not sure what I'm going to encounter, what kinds of physical challenges I might encounter. Although I said I'm healthy, I still have lots of physical challenges. So you if you know you're going someplace where there could potentially be some challenges for you - I know there have been years that I needed a bathroom wherever I slept. I always made that very clear. It's incumbent on you to tell people what your needs are, and that's not always easy, but you have to do it or else…
…you pay the consequences.
Ms. Joffe:
You could find that you become pretty isolated because you don't want to go anywhere.
Yeah. So what do you do? You say to your host, "I don't want to be a pig and take the best bedroom, but I do need to be near the bathroom," or something?
Ms. Joffe:
Yeah. I certainly was very careful in those years not to go someplace where I had to share a bathroom with too many people, and I would make that clear and say, "I just can't do this. It's not a good idea for anyone here. So you do what you can."
I know my husband and I used to love going to inns, and we stopped going to inns because you often couldn't have your own bathroom in your room, and I couldn't share a bathroom with other people.
But whatever it comes down to, certainly if you're going to travel and be on the road and go places where you haven't been, you want to understand what the building is like.
What's the physical layout?
Ms. Joffe:
The physical layout, is it easy to navigate? Is there a lot of walking involved here? Is it too cold? Some diseases - scleroderma - people can't be where it's cold. Is it too hot? With MS, we can't be where it's too hot. You need to really check this out in advance and feel okay about doing that.
David, any comments on this question?
Mr. Spero:
The other thing I was going specifically mention is throw rugs because those trip a lot of people. And you can say that to a family member, and it doesn't necessarily mean they're going to pick up their throw rugs, but if you say how important it is to you, they probably will.
The gist of what you're both saying is that you've got to be confident and assertive about your needs, and then everybody is happier.
We are just about out of time. Rosalind Joffe, thank you so much. Do you have any final thoughts you'd like to leave us with tonight?
Ms. Joffe:
We've covered so much. I guess what I would say is living with a chronic illness, it doesn't mean that you can't have a very full, rich life, but it usually means that you have to change your expectations and the way that you do things. It requires that you're even more strategic in your thinking and you develop your resources to the best that you can.
And, David Spero, what about you, any final thoughts you'd like to leave us with?
Mr. Spero:
Well, specifically on the holidays, I would say not to dread them, and hopefully they'll be a really good time for you. They certainly can be.
You've both talked about kind of mindfulness and using chronic illness as a way of getting in touch with yourself and using it to grow in a way that everybody else could certainly learn from as well.
Anyway, I'd like to thank you both tonight. You've both been great. And I'd like to thank you, the listeners, for joining us. Until next week, I'm Judy Foreman. Good night.

subset: commoncrawl


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Sarkcess Music disc Jockey DJ Mensah recruits the face of the new school artists Medikal , strongman,lil shaker ,cabum and our very own female rap queen ENo to give us this brand new fire dubbed BakaJi. this is some real fire you surely gonna love and bang to. production credi goes to King of accra. enjoy
DJ Mensah – BakaJi ft Medikal x Strongman x ENo x Lil Shaker x Cabum (Prod By KoA) [DOWNLOAD]


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Aleksey Lovchev set a clean-and-jerk world record over the weekend.
The 309-pound Russian lifted 264 kilograms from the floor to above his head in Houston, Texas, at the International Weightlifting Federation's World Weightlifting Championships. That's 582 pounds for backward Americans shunning the genius that is the metric system. Alas, event organizers refused to go full French Revolution, recording the milestone as occurring on November 28 and not 9 Frimaire.
Aside from the bow to French scientific superiority, the record, at least according to the record holder, indicates Russian athletic supremacy. "This shows that Russia is the strongest nation," Lovchev contended.
The boast comes not without a buttress. Russian men finished first overall and the women placed second to the Chinese. The United States, by way of comparison, finished 28th (men) and 14th (women). Russia's Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev said last month, "Americans have demonstrated their weakness." Surely Lovchev's performance does nothing to dissuade Medvedev from such sentiments. In judo black belt/hockey hat-tricker/slalom skier Vladimir Putin's Russia, what's the difference between dominance in weightlifting and world affairs, anyhow?
Lovchev (shown in the picture attempting a girly-man lift of a mere 467 pounds) broke the official world record of Iranian Hossein Rezazadeh. But he fell short by two kilograms of eclipsing the strangely unofficial high mark of fellow countryman Leonid Taranenko, who cleaned-and-jerked 586 pounds 27 years ago. But the International Weightlifting Federation arbitrarily decreed that the former Soviet strongman's feat never really happened when it restructured weight classes and—in a move reminiscent of the redacted textbooks, St. Petersburg becoming Leningrad, and commissars vanishing from photographs in Taranenko's homeland—opted to erase previous records. Or maybe it more closely evoked that time that Planet Fitness suddenly disappeared the squat racks and flat benches from their premises as though some of the most popular equipment items did not belong in a gym. Whatever the proper precedent, the 26-year-old Russian's achievement comes not without controversy.
Lovchev deadlifted the weight with ease, completed the clean with more difficulty, and paused for five seconds before attempting the jerk. As he dipped down to begin the process of military pressing the weight, the barbell bowed significantly from the four 55-pound plates and one 34-pound plate on each end, providing a reverse visual manifestation of the meatheadism, "If the bar ain't bending, you're just pretending." Lovchev shifted his right leg forward and left leg back—amazingly lifting both feet off the ground for a split second—before pushing the poundage upward, where it stayed on display for several seconds before the conquering Lovchev dropped the defeated barbell.
"I was thinking, 'This is impossible,' as I had never tried that weight before," explained Lovchev, boasting a personal best of 567 pounds in the gym before lifting 15 pounds more on the grand stage. "I'm overwhelmed."
So was gravity.


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Brookline and Coolidge Corner History
Brookline's beginnings were rural; its land was originally parceled out to citizens of Boston as allotment farmlands in the 1630′s. As allotment holders found it convenient to live close to their crops and livestock, a settlement grew up around the "Muddy River Hamlet". By the end of the seventeenth century, its inhabitants had built a school house, laid out three major roads, obtained exemption from paying taxes to Boston, and were petitioning the Massachusetts General Court for independence.
After three attempts, a petition to be a separate town, signed by 32 freeholders, was granted on November 13, 1705. The Muddy River hamlet was formally incorporated as the Town of Brookline. Samuel Sewall, son of Judge Sewall of Salem Witch Trials fame, lent the community his services as the first Town Clerk and, it is thought, the name of his family's "Brooklin" lands, which lay between the Charles and Muddy Rivers. A Town Meeting and Selectmen governed the Town, then, and still do today.
The residents of Brookline in the early eighteenth century were almost all farmers, many cultivating lands inherited from their fathers or acquired through marriage. Some of their names, such as Heath, Winchester, Clark, Aspinwall, and Devotion, remain with us today as street and neighborhood identifications. Zabdiel Boylston of Brookline, a physician, and uncle of John Adams, earned initial notoriety and enduring fame by introducing inoculation against smallpox to the American colonies in 1721.
The development of the Coolidge Corner neighborhood plays an important part in the history of Brookline's growth from a sleepy farm borough to a thriving suburb and independent-minded town.
In 1857, among the summer estates and farmlands, David S. Coolidge and William J. Griggs established the "Coolidge and Brother" general store at the corner of Beacon and Harvard Streets, at that time a stop on the coach line to and from Boston.
In 1886, with the advent of the street car, local tycoon Henry M. Whitney hired Frederick Law Olmstead to widen Beacon Street into a boulevard. The following year, the first elevated street car ran up Beacon Street, and subsequently area property values skyrocketed. Land was subdivided for one and two-family homes, apartment buildings were constructed along the "model French boulevard," and new business structures, including the S.S. Pierce Building (1898), went up near "Coolidge's Corner".
*Coolidge Corner photo at top courtesy of Ddogas, Wikipedia.
"Clean, convenient, comfortable. It was an easy experience. What a treat to stay nestled in the heart of a great Brookline neighborhood. Walk to everything: food, shopping, transportation. We had a room with a private bath and we felt completely at home." – Portsmouth, New Hampshire
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Independent News reports, "The acting attorney general who was fired by Donald Trump after opposing his immigration ban has been nominated for the John F Kennedy Profile in Courage Award.
Sally Yates sparked controversy after she refused to back the President's travel ban which halted admission to refugees and as well as immigrants from seven Muslim-majority countries.
After a federal judge ordered a review of the policy, Ms Yates announced that her staff at the Justice Department would not seek to defend it in court as she objected on grounds of conscience, writing in a letter to her staff that she wasn't "convinced that the defense of the executive order is consistent with these responsibilities, nor am I convinced that the executive order is lawful."
Mr. Trump promptly terminated her employment.
Democrat politician Jackie Speier has announced she has nominated Ms Yates for the Profile in Courage Award, which is presented in memory of former President John F Kennedy. The prize is described as "the nation's most prestigious award for public servants."
The award's mission statement says: "The award recognizes a public official (or officials) at the federal, state or local level whose actions demonstrate the qualities of politically courageous leadership in the spirit of Profiles in Courage, President Kennedy's 1957 Pulitzer prize-winning book, which recounts the stories of eight U.S. Senators who risked their careers by embracing unpopular positions for the greater good."
Full Article: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/sally-yates-acting-attorney-general-fired-donald-trump-muslim-ban-nominated-john-f-kennedy-courage-a7558711.html


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Re: Which is the best architecture for core lvl 4
Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:39 pm
Thanks for advise.90skushkid wrote: faster you can get another code gate faster youll see a slow down on hacks. your not at the lvl to get hit by the kraken yet. but if I find you this base would get destroyed. kraken is a problem once you get it or you deal with someone with it. im lvl 15 and im destroying bases. I would get another code gate and upgrade them at least to lvl 3 each. its a real stall. and I separate my resources so its not as fast to collect for players. the node that keeps the cap of money and the node that keeps the cap of b coins are my last 2 nodes in my network protected by my code gate which these are the last bit of my network. idc about losing my core. but my hard earned resources lol naaa.
So should I focus on upgrading core first or the defence systems and the programs?.and at what level will I attacked by Karen's?


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Setting a Size Limit on Attachments
You can set a size limit on attachments to work items in Team Foundation Server. Depending on the needs of your organization and the storage limitations of your Team Foundation server, you might want to limit the allowed size of work item attachments. Alternately, you might want to increase the default attachment size.
Size Limits
By default, the work item file attachment size limit is 4,096 kilobytes. For information on how to change the attachment size limit, see How to: Set the Maximum Attachment Size for Work Items.
Consider the implications carefully before changing the default attachment size limit. Changing the attachment limit value will alter the attachment size limit for all Team Foundation Server users. The value cannot be changed for a single user or a group of users. Will the Team Foundation Server server have adequate storage? If you choose to restrict the attachment size limit, how will you be impacting the workflow of some or all of your users? For most organizations, the default size limit will probably be adequate.


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Many of us Christians are playing the dangerous game of compromising with sin. Some of us intentionally do it for the momentary pleasure it brings, while some of us unintentionally do it but end up enjoying it anyway. Don't be fooled: sin produces death, and that's something you don't want.
Compromising With Sin
Let's not play with words anymore. We all sin. Christians redeemed as we are, we're all vulnerable to sinning. No matter how strong a Christian's faith might be, he's not perfect still. But while we're all "only human" and susceptible to sinning, the truth is that by God's grace we're given the power to say "no" to sin.
The problem is many of us just don't.
Many of us enjoy the passing pleasures of sin. A little glance at that magazine cover here, a prolonged look at that website there, a little sinful thought then and now, and we're all hooked. Truth is, that's all that's needed for us to be sucked once more into the deadly pit of sin: just a little compromise. And boy does the devil know how to tempt you and me
Do you want to be strong in the fight against sin, and avoid compromising? Here are some things you should do.
1. Stop Convincing Yourself That 'It's Not Wrong'
Many of us have excuses for pretty much everything. When we cuss at someone, we rationalise that it's just a burst of anger. We look at a person's face and body to lust, and we call it simply "appreciating God's creations." We become lazy, and we say "I'm taking care of my body." All excuses.
I mean, we're all guilty of that, but until we stop excusing our sins we're not going to stop doing them! Lusting at a woman's body is lust, not "appreciation." Sleeping too much is laziness, not "rest." Cursing someone is cursing someone, not "expressing anger."
2. Don't Go 'But Everybody's Doing It Anyway'
Friend, what may be acceptable, even encouraged, in and by society need not be pleasing to God. Abortion is legal in many places but it still is murder in God's eyes. Premarital sex with a woman you love is still fornication in the sight of God. Not all accepted practices are godly and pleasing to the Lord.
3. Stop Thinking 'God Loves Me and Will Forgive Me Anyway'
Yes, God loves you, but the Bible also tells us that if we are in Christ, we should stop sinning. Thinking that "God will forgive me anyway" will not excuse our sin. If any, it just adds more weight to the already heavy merits of sin.
Friends, it's a fearful thing to fall into the hands of God.
"Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. And again, "The Lord will judge His people." It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (Hebrews 10:29-31)


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Upcoming DatesTuesday, January 29, 2019 - 8:00pm
Boston Conservatory at Berklee Professor of Piano Jonathan Bass has been praised by Gramophone magazine for his "elegant, commanding playing." A winner of many competitions and awards, he appears worldwide as a soloist and chamber musician, is a frequent guest of local orchestras, and plays with the Walden Chamber Players and the Boston Symphony Chamber Players. Read Bass's full bio.
In this concert, Bass performs Chopin's Preludes, op. 28, as well as works by Beethoven, Fauré, and Prokofiev.


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DHA Phase VIII Banglow for Sale
Staff Banglow in DHA Phase VIII on 7th Iqbal Lane 100 SQYD Karachi, Having 3 bedrooms 1+2 with Basement, Drawing Dinning, Stylish kitchen, Tiled Flooring. Easy access from Khyaban-e-Ittihad or Khyaban-e-Shaheen, For Visit and more information please feel free to Contact.
Raja M. Waqas 0333-0666818
Shaheen Builders and Marketing
Mention hellopk.com when calling to get a good deal


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Building a Windows 8.1 app – Step 1.5: Locate your toolbox
Sweet! We've got our idea. What's next?
We have to ask ourselves a few questions: Am I running windows 8 or 8.1? Do I have Visual Studio 2013 Preview? Do I have a back-end system already set up? Do I have design templates?
Most likely your answer to at least one of these questions in NO, which actually a good thing. Microsoft just released this awesome new tool: Windows 8 App Builder.
Windows 8 App Builder is simply "how to build Windows Store app in 30 days." It has all the tools we need for our first app. Downloads for Windows 8, Visual Studio, an Azure 90 day free trial. Super useful!
Each day has content and guidance for the next step of the app, though some take longer than a day, and some take less. It's great for guidance, and it's what I'll be using along the way.
The other awesome thing about Windows 8 App Builder is that there are ways to win prizes, and who doesn't like prizes? Prizes range from XBOX live subscriptions, to Windows Pro Upgrades, XBOX games and Surface Pros.
- Go HERE
- Download and Install Windows 8.1 or Windows 8
- Download and Install Visual Studio (2012 or 2013 Preview)
- Download and Install the Windows 8 SDK
- Sign up for the Windows Azure trial
- Download the design assets (templates, controls & components)
- Note: If you don't have Photoshop, that's fine! You can open the PSD files using Paint.NET and a PSD plugin.
P.S. The Belgians found a really cool Easter egg in the Tesla Model S. There's a photo of the firmware team standing around VIN #1 …. and I'm in the Picture!! (Look for the yellow) This means that I'm in EVERY Model S out there, SWEET!


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A Free Craft Pattern for Each Day of the Year
Home > Calendar > Stuffed Animal Pattern
Stuffed Animal Pattern - A Fleece Bunny
March 21
A Fleece Bunny
Here is a project where you make a cute bunny out of fleece and then stuff him with the left over fabric. The instructions are easy to follow and there are pictures to help you understand each step more clearly. Make a sweet and soft bunny for someone special or keep it for yourself.
Click here for the craft pattern.
More days with stuffed animal patterns you might like:
|My Felt Bunny
|Spring Chickens
|Stuffed Animals
|A Christmas Mouse
|A Fleece Bunny
|Pumpkin Pillows
|Precious Teddy Bear


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Get the Deluxe Holiday/Christmas Planner for 50% OFF for a limited time! CLICK HERE!
Sale price
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Want to learn the exact steps that you need to take in the first year as a blogger to set yourself up for success?
This is the book for you!
Instantly downloadable and usable forever (no shipping required and you get access to all updates!)


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Technology Published date: April 30, 2018
- Address: 575 7th Avenue, 5th Floor, PMB #5105,
- City: New York
- State: New York
If any user-facing data corruption problem so no need to worry about that here is a perfect solution for you. A user can try USB flash drive data recovery utility. The best thing about this tool supports all USB brands like SanDisk, Kingston, Lexar, HP, Sony etc. it is find required data from resultant recovered file Using find option.
Warning: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable in /homepages/36/d106477784/htdocs/HarrisonClassifieds/www/oc-content/plugins/voting/index.php on line 139
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A lot of the KB articles need updating and its not clear when kerz (the site admin) will be reachable. I'd like to copy some KB articles to some other MediaWiki based wiki and update them. I'm thinking of initially doing this just for a couple dozen Thunderbird articles, but might get more ambitious later on and update some Firefox KB articles too. I could create a post in the existing KB thread with a link to the new wiki.
I thought about trying to find some volunteers to help move and maintain the entire wiki but I don't think that is realistic. For several years I've been the only frequent KB contributor. Most of the other editors that were fairly active such as Alice Wyman seem to do that only for the SUMO Knowledge Base now. I want to maintain fairly technical KB articles such as mail and news settings and files and folders in the profile and opinion based articles such as Keep it working which would be unwelcome there. I want to stick with MediaWiki because I'd hoping that eventually I can move the updated KB articles back. I'm also hoping that when that occurs there might be renewed interest in maintaining the KB articles. Having a prominent "The End" thread doesn't exactly encourage people to help out
Suggestions on where/how to create this wiki? I'd prefer to use a existing MediaWiki service rather than install the software on a web host. If the entire wiki is not being migrated it doesn't seem to make sense to use a commercial service such as HostGator or MyWikis offer. I'm thinking of one of the following:
Miraheze (free, no ads, most servers in Netherlands but three in USA and one in Singapore)
ShoutWiki (free but has ads, servers in USA)
Does anybody have any experience with them?
http://gardener.shoutwiki.com/wiki/WikiGardener is an example of a wiki created at ShoutWiki. Notice the gardener prefix. I don't think I have the right to use MozillaZine as its name (even though I'm a MozillaZine KB admin creating a supplementary wiki for MozillaZine) so I'll have to use a slightly different name. Suggestions?
I re-read http://kb.mozillazine.org/Talk:Rules_an ... e_problems which talks about license issues. Both of those wikis state something like "Content is available under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported unless otherwise noted." which is compatible with both what we and SUMO use.


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I am: Woman
Seeking a: Man
Age: 40
City: Your Area
Body Type: Slim
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Status: Single
Occupation: Supervisor
In My Own Words:
Fuck me!!! I need sex so badly…. I am insatiable. You better be hot and have a good sized cock and you better know how to eat pussy. If you do a good job I'll let you spoil my both holesdo you think you can handle that big boy? Let me tell you now, for desert I like your hot jizz all over my naked tits.. or do you like to fill me up and make your seamen flow out of me? Hurry big boy cant wait for that xxx


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I bought tickets to the SDRE show the day they went on sale. How could I miss this reunion tour? And how could I miss a show at The Paramount in Seattle, SDRE's hometown? (Honestly, though, it passed me that they were a Seattle band for years and years.)
Anyway, I'll make this short. The concert was better than I hoped for. The opening band was really good, and I ended up in the front row. That last part surprised me– Kyle and I had to slog through Everett-Seattle traffic after I got done at work, and I was sure we were running late. Guess not, though; the GA floor was still really open when we arrived at 8 or so.
One other aspect that made me smile: There were two girls who were standing in front of me for most of the first band's set, and they were both 5'1″ or under. That never happens to me. Everyone who stands in front of me at concerts is at least tall enough to shove their mid-spine into my nose.
Regardless, the music was great, and the energy levels were high, both from the band and the audience. I'm still a bit in awe that I got to see this particular favorite band of mine play live. To put it in perspective, Diary, an amazingly wonderful album, was released in 1994; I was 9-years-old. The band went through line-up changes and broke up, ultimately, in 2001. I think it was around that time when I first discovered Diary.
Sorry, Britney and JT, I have a new favorite concert.


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Computer Algebra (Paperback)
Symbolic and Algebraic Computation (Computing Supplementa #4)
Springer, 9783211817766, 283pp.
Publication Date: October 6, 1983
List Price: 89.99*
* Individual store prices may vary.
this gap. In sixteen survey articles the most important theoretical results, algorithms and software methods of computer algebra are covered, together with systematic references to literature. In addition, some new results are presented. Thus the volume should be a valuable source for obtaining a first impression of computer algebra, as well as for preparing a computer algebra course or for complementary reading. The preparation of some papers contained in this volume has been supported by grants from the Austrian "Fonds zur Forderung der wissenschaftlichen For- schung" (Project No. 3877), the Austrian Ministry of Science and Research (Department 12, Dr. S. Hollinger), the United States National Science Foundation (Grant MCS-8009357) and the Deutsche Forschungsgemeinschaft (Lo-23 1-2). The work on the volume was greatly facilitated by the opportunity for the editors to stay as visitors at the Department of Computer and Information Sciences, University of Delaware, at the General Electric Company Research and Development Center, Schenectady, N. Y., and at the Mathematical Sciences Department, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, N. Y., respectively. Our thanks go to all these institutions. The patient and experienced guidance and collaboration of the Springer-Verlag Wien during all the stages of production are warmly appreciated. The editors of the Cooperative editor of Supplementum Computing B. Buchberger R. Albrecht G. Collins R. Loos Contents Loos, R.: Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Buchberger, B., Loos, R.: Algebraic Simplification . . . . . . . . . . 11 Neubiiser, J.: Computing with Groups and Their Character Tables. 45 Norman, A. C.: Integration in Finite Terms. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


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Qiu Ling sighed and put down Jing Yi. The Zhongs were outside. What would that Daoist do if nobody opened the door?
"Mister Zhong, Madam Zhong!" called Mister Pi outside. "Qiguan Cheng Da came to visit. He agreed to have a look at your son."
His voice was loud enough to alarm Mister and Madam Zhong on the other side of the house. The two of them hurried back and Mister Zhong's expression darkened as soon as he saw the crowd of people at his doorstep. "What is happening here?"
Mister Pi dutifully made his way through the crowd. "Mister Zhong, today is your lucky day! Qiguan Cheng Da came. He'll have a look at your son."
"He will what?" Mister Zhong didn't believe his ears. "Why would he take a look at my son?" In every other situation, Mister Zhong would have been ecstatic if a Daoist had come by and shown interest in his son. But it was Qiguan Cheng Da they were talking about here and with all those rumors flying around the last few weeks, he could very well imagine why that particular Daoist had come over.
"Mister Zhong, please, calm down! It's for your own good."
Qiguan Cheng Da followed Mister Pi and nodded toward the Zhongs. "Mister Zhong, Madam Zhong, I was told about the heretic —"
"What heretic practitioner!" Mister Zhong clenched his fists and turned to Miss Lian who stood not far away. "My wife had unbelievably good luck that a Daoist came by to save her and our child. How can you vilify such a good man? And that even in front of another Daoist! Haven't you done enough harm?"
"I haven't said anything! It was Madam Pan!" Miss Lian pushed the blame onto her neighbor, crossed her arms in front of her chest and lifted her chin. She certainly wouldn't let others say to her face that she was a gossip monger.
It couldn't be dismissed that all of this had only happened because she had described the Daoist with such fervency but still. That hadn't been her intention at all! She really would have liked that man to be a good person. Who could have known that such a beautiful man was a heretic practitioner instead? Well, maybe she should have guessed it. After all, it definitely wasn't normal that a man was so beautiful. That could only be because of some dark magic!
Qiu Ling looked at the child next to him. "I'm afraid this means that I am to blame for this nasty defamation. I was careless. But this might just be the perfect opportunity to make up for my fault." The corners of his mouth lifted and he put the child back down. With a last smile at his beloved's mortal reincarnation, he flew out of the hut of the Zhongs and to the path that led through the forest. He waved his hand and his clothes seemed to change into the robes of a Daoist again.
Even though he himself would never admit it, as the dragon king Qiu Ling was everything but young. Nevertheless, he only seemed to be in his twenties. But now, for the sake of his beloved Qiu Ling used his magic to alter his face. It aged visibly until maybe ten years separated him from Jing Yi's father who seemed to be in his mid-twenties.
Qiu Ling lifted his hand. Water danced around his fingers and covered his palm to form a mirror. Qiu Ling examined his face and sighed. Pretending to be mortal was anything but easy. Being older definitely wasn't enough to stop these humans from calling him a heretic practitioner.
He furrowed his brow. He couldn't change his face too much or the people wouldn't believe he was the same Daoist Miss Lian had seen that night. He narrowed his eyes and examined himself in the mirror again.
His eyebrows grew denser, his lips became a little thicker and with a heavy heart, even his nose become a little crooked. Well, just a little. Most people probably wouldn't be able to see the difference and Qiu Ling was in any way still far from looking like a normal mortal. He still hoped it might be enough to not let the villagers view him as a heretic practitioner anymore. He just couldn't bear to disfigure his handsome face any further.
Qiu Ling dropped his hand and the mirror disappeared. He made sure nobody was in the vicinity and stopped hiding his form from mortal eyes. Then, he proceeded down the path into the village.
On the village square, the conflict had gotten worse.
"If nothing is wrong with the child, then there is no reason to keep the real Daoist from having a look at it!" This was Madam Pan who tried to justify herself for telling the story about the heretic practitioner to Qiguan Cheng Da. Naturally, she didn't feel to be in the wrong. Everyone knew that something was up with the Zhongs' child. How could it be wrong? She had only tried to help but those people just didn't appreciate the trouble she had taken for them!
"A real Daoist?" Madam Zhong didn't hold back at that. "You aren't talking about Qiguan Cheng Da, are you? How long has he been gone? One year? Half a year? What could he have learned in such a short time?"
Qiguan Cheng Da gritted his teeth and forced himself to continue smiling. It would be below the honorable status of a Daoist to squabble with oafish villagers just because they were unable to recognize his abilities.
His mother, however, couldn't let this insult slide. Not only that her son was her pride and joy, Madam Zhong was also nearly ten years younger than her. How could she dare to behave like this in front of her?!
"What do you mean by that, Madam Zhong?"
"I mean that your son isn't a real Daoist! Even if something was wrong with our son, I certainly wouldn't ask him to have a look!"
"You —!" Before she had time to scream at Madam Zhong, Mister Pi held her back and tried to appease her. After all, this was what a cultured man would do.
"Please, please. We should all calm down and take a step back. Now that Cheng Da is here he can just have a look at the child. It won't hurt the boy."
Madam Zhong nearly erupted. What did he mean everyone should take a step back? This was clearly them picking on her family! She had enough of the loose talk regarding her son! She'd teach them a lesson today!
But before she could even utter a single word the villagers continued as if to cap it all off. "Aiya!" Madam Pan piped up again. "Somebody should just go and get the child! Isn't he in the house? Pan Chang! You're standing there already. Go, fetch the child!" She motioned at her husband.
Mister Pan who really stood only a few steps from the door of the Zhongs didn't wait for their approval and went in.
Madam Zhong stared unbelievingly at the opened door to their house. In there was her first child. Most probably the only child they'd ever have. If something happened to Jing Yi … She wanted to hurry over but Madam Pan thwarted her.
"Aiya, Madam Zhong! Calm down! My husband is only fetching the child for Qiguan Cheng Da to have a short look at him. Nobody's going to hurt the child."
"That is still my son!" She tried to force her way through but now even Miss Lian interfered.
"Madam Zhong, Madam Zhong!" She wanted to hold her down but Madam Zhong had tried to pass them with such vehemence that she recoiled when the two women intercepted her.
She screamed and her arms flailed, trying to hold on to something but she couldn't reach anything and tumbled toward the ground.
OMF V1C12 Let's All Take a Step Back
Qiu Ling sighed and put down Jing Yi. The Zhongs were outside. What would that Daoist do if nobody opened the door?


text:
How many syllables are in maybe? 2 syllables
Divide maybe into syllables: may-be
Definition of: Maybe (New window will open)
How to pronounce maybe:
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Are you a freelance writer, novelist, or short story writer? If so, join our writing community with cash prize contests, freelance opportunities, and free writing tools.
Maybe Poems: (See poems with this word. New window will open)
maybes (2 syllables),
peradventure (4 Syllables), perchance (2 Syllables), perhaps (2 Syllables), possibly (3 Syllables)
peradventure (4 syllables), perchance (2 syllables), perhaps (2 syllables), possibly (3 syllables),
baby, cabey, haby, mabey, maybe, nabi, rabey, raby, sabey, slaby, smaby, taibi
What do you think of our answer to how many syllables are in maybe? Are the syllable count, pronunciation, words that rhyme, and syllable divisions for maybe correct? There are numerous syllabic anomalies found within the U.S. English language. Can maybe be pronounced differently? Did we divide the syllables correctly? Do regional variations in the pronunciation of maybe effect the syllable count? Has language changed? Provide your comments or thoughts on the syllable count for maybe below.
A comprehensive resource for finding syllables in maybe, how many syllables are in maybe, words that rhyme with maybe, how to divide maybe into syllables, how to pronounce maybe, how to break maybe into syllables, and how to pronounce maybe.


text:
I get bored sometimes.
|AnimeGalleries [dot] Net
|AnimeWallpapers [dot] Com
|AnimeLyrics [dot] Com
|AnimePedia [dot] Com
|AnimeGlobe [dot] Com
I get bored sometimes.
been a while
happy sink o de mayo
making tuna sandwich are we?
Strengthen & Keep Strengthening
/i am reminded how all girls are insane
Strengthen & Keep Strengthening
/is hella awesome
I sent the picture to my mom and she kind of yelled at me for not doing dishes.
mothers are nagging machines :P
---------- Post added at 09:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 PM ----------
but I love the mother of athene
Strengthen & Keep Strengthening
Me in Junior high rocking the headphones.
He's just a dandy guy, in space.
looking deadbeat
Strengthen & Keep Strengthening
My buddy, my brother in law, and me. Not drunk or anything.
>>Enter My World<<
Thanks to Ms Lucy for this awesome, funny gif.
The person that you are now is not the person that I used to know. You're becoming a stranger that I've never met before. Not liking the change though.
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