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At the end of my freshman year in college, I made one of the worst mistakes of my life when I moved out of my dorm room and into a house with my boyfriend.
When I think back on those years, I remember longing for intense romance that would sweep me off my feet. I thought that true love does not demand a commitment, it is freely given with no thought for tomorrow. I wanted someone to be at my side without putting my heart at risk. I couldn't have been more wrong.
In the early 1970s, when I moved in with my boyfriend, there were only 520,000 cohabiting couples in the U.S. Today there are almost 4.75 million. Today, more than half of all couples cohabit prior to marriage, making cohabitation the most common way couples in America begin life together.
People say they live together outside of marriage for a number of reasons. Some cite economic reasons–why pay for two apartments, they argue, when we can share one? Others view cohabitation as a form of marriage insurance–a way to test compatibility and screen out undesirable mates before they say "I do." Those who cite this argument are often the children of divorced parents who suffered untold agony when their parents divorced. Or divorced people still raw from the wounds of their own failed marriages.
Today more and more couples are choosing to live together outside of marriage, causing marriage rates to decline sharply. Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins, says the rapid change is remarkable: "It was scandalous a few generations ago. It was unacceptable a couple of decades ago. It is acceptable now."3
The dramatic increase in cohabitation means that women today face even more pressure to move in with their boyfriend than I did. Yet research shows that living together is does not help people prepare for marriage nor does it help them avoid divorce. Cohabitation has come under the intense scrutiny of social scientist in the last three decades because the shift from scandalous thirty years ago to widely accepted today occurred so rapidly. Few people know the results of these studies. In this book I talk about the latest research as well as my own experience and the experiences of others.
Reason Number One: Living together clouds your judgment. When I moved in with my boyfriend, I thought I knew him very well. I soon discovered that it is almost impossible to see a person objectively when you are living with them. There just isn't enough distance.
When choosing a life-long mate, you need to look at the person's good and bad points objectively. Objective thinking is impossible when you are sexually intimate.
No couple can avoid facing the hard question, "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person?" I thought I could avoid the question by moving in with my boyfriend, but ultimately, I couldn't escape. Once the "pseudo- honeymoon" was over, I wondered, did I want to live with this man for the rest of my life? Tragically, the answer was no. But trying to extricate myself from the relationship was not easy. Breaking up is always hard to do–how much more so when you are sharing your bodies and your home.
Reason Number Two: Living with your boyfriend may break your heart. Sex is a God-given gift intended to bond a man and his wife. Cohabiting couples bond with each other, too. I thought I could avoid a painful divorce by choosing noncommittal cohabitation instead. But I couldn't change my fundamental nature. When the relationship ended, it hurt every bit as much as a divorce.
"When we broke up, I could not eat or sleep or work," a woman told Mike McManus, author of Marriage Savers (Zondervan). "I did not want to get up in the morning." McManus calls this grieving "prenuptial divorce" because the pain is so similar to divorce.
I didn't realize how much I had bonded with my first live-in boyfriend until I left him to spend a year abroad in Norway. Once I was settled in Norway, I found it hard to function without the emotional intimacy of a live-in lover. I soon met and moved in with another man, this one Norwegian law student.
Reason Number Three: You may conceive with drastic consequences. I was meticulous about birth control, so I assumed I was covered. People who get pregnant aren't careful , I thought. After all, my method of choice worked 99 percent of the time according to the pamphlet my doctor gave me. Imagine my shock when I found myself pregnant and living in Norway–six thousand miles from my family!
Tragically, I aborted that child, adding more wounds to my already damaged soul. I was too scared to marry my Norwegian boyfriend. Too scared to consider spending the rest of my life in an unfamiliar country far from family and friends.
A study of abortion trends confirms that my situation is not unusual. Twice as many women who live with a man outside of wedlock opt to abort their babies as married woman.4
Reason Number Four: Your decision to cohabit may cause your children a great deal of pain. My promiscuous lifestyle caught up with me when I conceive again in my early twenties. I couldn't bear the thought of another abortion. This time I turned to God and asked him to help me live a pure life. God was faithful, but I still had to reap the agony of my past.
I still remember the day Mina, age two, asked me, "Where's my daddy?" It was a knife to my heart. At that moment I would have done anything to go back and undo the mistakes that had led me to unmarried motherhood.
Later, I married a wonderful, godly man and Mina got the daddy she longed for. But the adjustment from family-of-two to family-of-three was painful. Sam struggled to become an instant dad, I struggled to let him parent Mina without my interference, and Mina didn't like having to share her mommy with the new guy. Those first few years, there were times I wondered if our marriage would survive.
Even now I occasionally face painful reminders. I recently gave my testimony to our church youth group. When I practiced in front of my husband and two oldest children I could see the pain in their eyes. I almost backed out because they were so upset.
At first my oldest daughter refused to speak to me. Then she turned and cried, "Mom, I was a mistake!"
"No!" I insisted, taking her in my arms. "You were not a mistake. Not to God. Not to me. He knew what I needed to bring me back to Him. Having you motivated me to change my life. You were never a mistake."
Right then she was too upset to listen. She took off through the woods, leaving me standing in the church parking lot.
Later she came back and told me she wanted me to go ahead. Her nine- year-old brother concurred. "I want you to give the testimony," he said, "but it is hard, Mom, to hear about your past life."
It was hard to me, too, to see that my past still hurts my kids.
Reason Number Five: Living with your boyfriend may destroy your relationship. A number of recent studies show that couples who cohabit prior to marriage have lower quality marriages, experience greater marital conflict, and have poorer communication that those who do not. The chances of having a successful marriage plummet when you cohabit prior to marriage.
Michael McManus, calls cohabitation "marital cancer," because cohabiting couples have an 80 percent chance that their relationship will end. Forty percent break up before they marry, the other 40 percent divorce within 10 years of marrying. Even when the relationship endures, those who cohabited prior to marriage say they have lower quality marriages–they have poorer communication, poorer marital adjustment, and they abuse each other more often and more severely– than those who did not.5,6, 7
Why? I believe that living together sets up an unhealthy dynamic that is almost impossible to overcome, because the relationship between a cohabiting couple is based on power and performance. The partner who is unwilling to marry wields power over the more committed partner. I remember thinking, "I'd better hide my fears and insecurities and not be too clingy or he will leave me."
One man candidly described the first few months of his domestic partnership in an article that appeared in the December 1995 issue of Details: "Neither of us wanted to be overrun by the other and we both made sure that we weren't.."
According to researchers at Northern State University, a number of studies show that men typically cohabit because of "the convenience" of the relationship ("particularly the availability of sex"), whereas women cohabit with "the expectation that cohabitation will lead to marriage." This unbalanced situation give men a "position of power" over their female roommates.8
You get close enough to see the person's flaws, yet you are not committed to persevere in the relationship. We all long for unconditional love. The emphasis on performance is devastating.
Reason Number Six: living with your boyfriend will keep you from finding the husband God has for you. Several years ago, I took a business trip to Vancouver, British Columbia. After the meeting, I spent an evening with three male colleagues. One of them was a young professor I barely knew. When I asked about his family life, he told me he was living with a woman.
I had to challenge him on this issue. "Why don't you marry her?" I asked. He didn't marry her, he told me, because he didn't think she was the one he wanted to marry. "Do you think that is fair?" I asked. "If you've decided that you don't want to marry her why do you stay in the relationship?"
It was comfortable, he told me, and it met his needs for now. Besides, he told me, there is no one else on the horizon. Then looking down, he admitted, I'd be lonely without her.
Do you want to get married some day? I asked. Yes, he replied. How will you ever find your wife when you are living with someone else? We talked and walked around the rainy city until almost midnight. Later, Keith told me that no one had ever challenged him on his living arrangement. After the conference, he went home and moved out. Two years later, I heard through mutual friends that he was getting married.
Even while I was cohabiting, I dreamed of marrying a Christian man and having a godly family but it was only when I realized that I was walking down a road that led away from my dreams, that I found the strength to say no to easy intimacy and to live a pure life.
It hasn't been easy for me to bare my soul, admit my mistakes, and revisit painful memories. But for the sake of my children–Mina and her little brother and sister– I am determined to face my mistakes. At times I have felt so ashamed that I wrongly thought I had no right to ask them to remain pure, when I didn't. I have had to bring my shame to Jesus. He is the only one who covers our shame by his sacrifice on the cross and redeems our lives by his unfailing love. To be forgiven and healed, I had to acknowledge that my sexual experience had no redeeming value. I reaped only brokenness and pain.
My husband and I missed out on one of God's greatest gifts–the joy God intends when a man and woman are physically united for the first time within the covenant of marriage. I hope and dream that my children will treasure that gift, remain pure, and walk in the light of God's love.
Reason Number Seven: Cohabiting will tear at your relationship with God. Even though attended church in my teens, and knew the Bible, many of the rule seemed old fashioned and too strict. Now years later, I see that God our creator knows what we need better than we know ourselves. There is great wisdom in the Bible. Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (NIV).
Living together is sin. Habitual, unconfessed sin eats away at your relationship with God. Living with my boyfriend pulled my heart away from God. Gradually, I stopped attending church and reading the Bible because it reminded me of God's standards and made me feel guilty.
I am not alone. A study at the University of Michigan, the University of Chicago, and the University of Toledo found that cohabiting weakens any previous religious tie.3
I wish that when I was in my twenties, I had read an article like this. Maybe I would have moved in with my boyfriend anyway. I was so hungry for affection that the desire to trade sex for love was a tsunami that swamped my soul. But at least I would have been forewarned, and perhaps, just perhaps, I would have cried out to God to rescue me and show me another way to feel loved.
My prayer for you is that you will resist the enticement of easy intimacy and wait for the one God has for you. It is a decision I know you will not regret.
1D'Vera Cohn, Cohabiting Couples Are a Settled Bunch, Washington Post, March 20, 1994, "Never before in Western history has it been acceptable for unmarried couples to live together," says Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University in the Washington Post. "It was scandalous a few generations ago. It was unacceptable a couple of decades ago. It is acceptable now."
2 William G. Axinn and Arland Thornton, "Mothers, Children, and Cohabitation: the intergenerational effects of Attitudes and Behavior," American Sociological Review, 58, (1993), p. 233-246 as reported in "The Family In America, New Research, September, 1993.
3 Arland Thornton, William G. Axinn, and Daniel H. Hill, "Reciprocal Effects of Religiosity, Cohabitation , and Marriage," American Journal of Sociology, v. 98, (1992), p. 628-651; as reported in "The Family In America, New Research, April, 1993.
4 Finn Egil Skjeldestad and Jens-Kristian Borgan, "Trends in Induced Abortions During the 12 Years Since Legalization In Norway," Family Planning Perspectives, v. 26, (March/April 1994), p. 73-76.
5 Elizabeth Thomson and Ugo Colella, "Cohabitation and Marital Stability: Quality or Commitment" Journal of Marriage and the Family, v. 54 (1992), p. 259-267; as reported in "The Family In America, New Research, October, 1992.
6 Jan E. Stets, "The Link Between Past and Present Intimate Relationships," Journal of Family Issues, v. 14, (1993), p. 236-260.
7 Danny Wedding, Families, Relationships, and Health, in Behavior and Medicine, Mosby Year Book, p. 143.
8 Terry Huffman et al., "Gender differences and Factors Related to the Disposition Toward Cohabitation," Family Therapy, v. 21, (1994, p. 171-184. ,
David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know about Cohabitation before Marriage, A Comprehensive Review of Recent Research, published by the National Marriage Project. 1999, 2002.
Originally published as Redeeming a Broken Legacy, Virtue Magazine, Oct/Nov 1998. Stalcup, cohabitation.
A new book by Elizabeth covering this season of her life is now available at Amazon.
Crossroads Before Me


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The actual quote is "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win." We are paraphrasing a very famous quote from Mahatma Gandhi for dramatic effect. The same dramatic effect that a GAL we know said she was trying to achieve when she wrote a letter stating that a child she had yet to meet could become the next Jeffrey Dahmer or Unabomber if his mother had to go to prison as scheduled.
One of the many problems that need to be resolved is the GAL able to diagnose a child? Of course, in the case mentioned, two issues are in play. First, the guardian ad litem hadn't met the child to diagnose any perceived problem. The second issue is, even if she had met the child, is it within a GAL's ability and/or job description to make such a diagnosis?
Another problem as we see it, is that no matter how badly a case is handled, not in the results produced or custody determined but in procedures followed or lack thereof, the guardian ad litem has immunity. In several cases we have read about the court of appeals reviewed the cases and noted that immunity only applies if the guardian ad litem is acting within the scope of her duties. If a guardian ad litem is exceeding the scope of those duties then immunity does not protect the guardian ad litem. Those rulings are very rare but we do not understand why they should be.
The removal of a guardian ad litem, as in the case listed above, was attempted but the judge refused to do so even with another letter written on behalf of the mother. We believe that switching GAL's should work in the same way as obtaining a different attorney. If your guardian ad litem is deficient in his or her duties or if you have a complete disagreement in all aspects of what both of you see as an agreeable situation for custody or visitation, allow a change in the guardian ad litem.
Mandate detailed billing that is updated and available to you, the client, on a monthly basis. Having a bill loaded with vague phrasing as in 'sent an email' or 'wrote a letter' tells you nothing. We would never accept that from a doctor, a lawyer or a plumber, why should it be acceptable from a GAL?
Potential changes on oversight:
• Move the Office of the Guardian ad Litem to the executive branch,and place it in an existing department. Or
• Move the Office of the Guardian ad Litem to the executive branch and make it an independent executive branch agency that reports to an appointed oversight board Or
• Move the Office of the Guardian ad Litem to the executive branch and make it part of the Attorney General's Office. Or
• Leave the Office of the Guardian ad Litem in the judicial branch but have it report to a board appointed by the Judicial Council. Oversight by this new board could at least partially resolve the ethical conflict of having the Judicial Council supervise the GAL.
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subset: commoncrawl


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There was an element of unpredictability about the election in East Londonderry this year with DUP big beast Gregory Campbell (in Westminster), unionist stalwart David McClarty (sadly passed on) and John Dallat of the SDLP (retired) unfamiliarly absent from the ballot paper, this time of asking.
But whilst no-one put up a number anything like that of 2011 poll-topper Campbell's 6,319, the DUP vote consolidated fairly evenly around its three contenders this year.
Former Coleraine Mayor Maurice Bradley, who was announced as a DUP candidate when Campbell opted for Westminster over Stormont, topped the poll in terms of first preferences with 4,630. He was closely followed by Limavady-based DUP veteran George Robinson who received 4,567 on the first count.
Inevitably, this ensured the party retained their three MLAs in the constituency as Adrian McQuillan, on 3,477 was a guaranteed beneficiary of his running mates' surpluses upon their election after stage 4.
After crossing the line, DUP MLA George Robinson told the Newsletter: "We're absolutely ecstatic about the result that we had. I put it down to the people of East Londonderry who put their trust and faith back in me again after nine years and the great team that I had as well behind me.
"They walked their feet off through thick and thin for four weeks and I salute each and every one of them and as I say the electorate of East Londonderry put their trust and faith back in me again."
Mr Robinson said the party branch were well aware they wouldn't have as strong a front runner as Campbell this year but the DUP backroomers worked the numbers to perfection.
"We don't have the high profile that Gregory has but at the same time vote management was absolutely brilliant, to get the three of us elected."
He also said the party would once again have strong representatives in each corner of the constituency across the Limavady, Coleraine and Garvagh areas.
"The whole of East Londonderry is covered and we have tremendous representation from the DUP."
On the nationalist side of the house, there were, this year, as in 2011, two Sinn Féin candidates, outgoing MLA Cathal Ó hOisín and newcomer Caoimhe Archibald, and one SDLP candidate, newcomer Gerry Mullan, chasing John Dallat and Mr Ó hOisín's old seats. Ó hOisín's first preference vote was down considerably from the 4,681 he polled in 2011 to just 3,493 on Thursday.
Whether by vote management or otherwise Archibald was the top-polling Sinn Féiner with 4,002. This ultimately made it an interesting three way battle between David McClarty's protege and impressive outgoing independent Claire Sugden, who received 3,270 on the first count, bettering her late mentors last total. Ó hOisín ultimately lost out to running mate Archibald and Gerry Mullan (3,265 first preferences) in the race for the final seats.


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Bless you, Ali,I do hope your arm soon gets better and you can do all the every day things we need to do. I can relate to how you are struggling, Sept 2007, how the years fly, it only seems like a few months away, i fell and smashed my wrist, i was coming in the door and fell, to save myself i put my hand out on the radiator but the force of impact of my hand against steel, wow, i bounced from wall to door several times. to cut a long story short 8 days later i had an operation , i had 3 wires put in. Lots of morphine and the strongest pain killers for 4 months, the physiotherapy was horrendous, they thought i was going to be left with a useless arm but i kept doing the excercises even during the night, as i could not sleep.Even now i have problems.You are a fighter so i'm sure you'll get the better of it, no one would know what you have gone through and still coping with, you always are smiling and have a great sense of humor.I do watch you on screen, you are a pleasure to watch and you make me laugh.The weather here is very cold, snow and icy cold winds.Take care, keep warm.Love BabsQ xxxx
Happy middle of the week to you and thank you for all your comments on this last blog 🙂 It seems we're all quite alike when it comes to our children, and I thank you for sharing. That's one of the lovely things about this way of keeping in touch, realising that you're not alone in your thoughts, which to me is a comfort 🙂
Something though that is not a comfort is my bloomin' right arm at the moment, and it's a good job I'm long sighted as I am having to type with my arms out straight and the computer seems miles away! I had to have all the lymph nodes removed at the same time as the mastectomy because they were malignant, and unfortunately lymphoedema set up while I was still having chemo.
It's a very strange condition that causes the arm to swell up because the lymph fluid can't drain away – only 10% of patients get it – guess I was one of the lucky ones 🙂 To be fair it's a lot better than it was initially – the entire arm was huge – I reckon I could have taken on Nadal with my forehand!
In the last year the swellng seems to have been just around the elbow and lower arm, and I was seeing a Manual Lymphatic Drainage nurse about once a month, but didn't continue as the swelling was so random that none of the sleeves that were measured for me ever fitted, so I was naughty and gave up!
Anyways… long story short, it's not been getting any better and so I have found a new nurse locally, and she has begun a two week course of massaging and bandaging my arm. If you saw me on Monday then you will have seen this enormous appendage that used to be my right arm, but now looks like the leg of a small adult!
Cleaning my teeth is hilarious as I can only manage it with my left hand, and I can't hold my fork in my right hand either – I can still cut my food I just can't get it into my mouth!! Last night I turned over in the bed and nearly rendered Colin unconcious with a right hook, and apart from wearing a ring there's no chance of getting any other jewellery on..! Luckily I have the bandages changed every two days and so I can remove them, and shower and hair wash before seeing the nurse, which is a definite relief 🙂
It's not that easy finding dresses with sleeves – although I have a couple from Lesley Ebbets' 'With Sleeves' range on order, and will possibly resort to a Harry Worth type stance on Thursday at midnight when I'll be with Kim Mendelson who has a terrific new TSV! Of course the bandage is only temporary, and if it all works, which I have every faith it will, then I will finally have an almost matching pair of arms again 🙂
It does make me appreciate though how incredibly difficult it must for be anyone with their arm in plaster, or those who struggle with arthritis in the joints – I'm thinking of you 🙂 Infact when I was at junior school, my friend Joanna Banting fell out of an apple tree and broke BOTH her arms! Nightmare! I'm sure some of you could match that though, so do drop me a line and we can all empathise 🙂
I have to say I was glad to be unbandaged for last Saturday's 'Anything Goes' show with Craig. I don't know if you saw any of it, but he was awesome in the Zumba! I always knew he could dance having watched him gyrate around the dance floor at several Christmas parties, and he didn't disappoint in his version of the rumba!
I was rather sorry to have missed the gorgeous boxer David Haye (who made those jungle moments in 'I'm a Celebrity' a tad more special !) but he will be with Miceal this Saturday at 8pm.
Well, I think that's all I can do for today, and I'm afraid I'm rather short on photos apart from this gorgeous picture of the Orchid that my friend Jo bought for me in January 2007 when I moved into my little house. It has flowered constantly since then, but I think this house move was a bridge too far… these two blooms are the last, but it has brought me deep joy over the years 🙂
I hope wherever you are you're warm and healthy and if you get the time I'd love to hear your news. Oh, and I now tweet so you can keep in touch that way too! @alikqvc is my address if you fancy 🙂 Sending you my love, Ali xxxx
51 Comments
February 6, 2013 at 11:31 am -
February 6, 2013 at 12:00 pm -
Hi Ali,
Thank you for another lovely blog,I always look forward to them,it really is like reading a letter from a friend, sorry to hear that your arm has been troublesome, but I am sure you will soon overcome this as you have with everything else,lots of good luck and love to you and the lovely Amica, I hope things are going well for her.
Very best wishes.
February 6, 2013 at 1:19 pm -
Hi Ali
Just read your blog and I am saying a prayer that the odeama disperses so that you are not debilitated in that right arm… I remember having a really swollen arm after 14 hours surgery to remove quite a list of stuff from my abdomen 9 years ago now.. Because of the length of time and the fact my arms were outstetched so long it was affected.. Anyway. I couldnt feel it for ages or do much with it, but over time it has got much better.. I can knit again now (so determined was I to make little garments for my granchildren, born 5years 3 years and 3 months ago now… such a blessing are they!!!)also I can even click my fingers again…(I lost my ability to click!!!) I am just trying it again as I type this to make sure its not done a runner!! Yep.. its still there.. little things and all that.. I am sure then that your arm will improve to full service again, I praying very hard as I did for you every day last year XX
As I write Ali, I just looking into the garden, I have 3 small eucalytus I planted last year, Each look vey different today, theres a very sad bent over droopy one obviously not up to par, then there s the one that s getting battered about but when the wind blows a certain way, it seems to cling to my washing line pole, then there the last one, that s full of leaves standing strong not beeing affected by the strong wind or cold, in fact its kind of waving to me.. with outstretched arms.. That just reminds me of the stages we go through, bent over with trouble, then getting comfort and strength to hold us up from a reliable strong solid source when we still a bit wobbly and we reach out knowing they are there to keep us upright… then, stronger, enough to gather both our arms up in the air and say " Hey, Here I am again, Lets go…Been a bit bent over but NOT broken!!! Ooo, thanks to the trees for that little message for you and me and all our friends and family out there.. Love and hugs Ali, my arms outstreched!!! Great to see you back and all the best of blessings in abundance in your new home XX New beginnings… LOve to your beautiful mum and family..
February 6, 2013 at 6:31 pm -
Hi Ali
I hope the arm is better. I do know how you feel, God when I hurt my arm in January I could not do much. Eventhough it was my left arm, like you said eating was a problem, getting the food to my mouth was the worse part. Doctor order was not to use it at all for 3 weeks, it is better now but when I use it, it hurt as it is not used to the movements.
The local hair dresser was very happy to have me there every 4 days to wash and dry my hair, but I think I can do that myself this week.
The weather here is been a bit mad, we had a few very cold days around 20th January, for Mallorca 3 and 5 degrees are not the norm.
Then around the 28th it was back to 17 and 18 nice and warm, but now it is back to cold, rain and wind.
Still we should start to think that by March we can look forward to Spring.
I hope all the army ladies are ok, have not heard from a few of them for a while. Love to you all, and keep well and happy.
Keep the great blogs coming Ali, you are the best.
Much love.
February 6, 2013 at 6:52 pm -
Hello Ali, I nearly always start my replies by saying how much I love your latest photos and this one is no exception because black and white shots are so elegant and the two of you could be from an art house film AND you look wonderful wearing another gorgeous floaty dress. The West Midlands seem to be back in the middle of the Winter again, it has been iron cold this week and my hair has responded by generating enough electricity to light a room. I am deaf in my right ear and this could continue for a few weeks, the students think it is hilarious with some speaking slowly and miming their questions/answers. I am currently doing a mood board for a garden at school in memory of a student we lost last year, I have lots of ideas but it is such a sad task and I really want to get it right so that we can honour him. We now have the bedrooms decorated and I know just how the guest room will look, complete with Kelly Hoppen cover on the bed and a beautiful painting in exactly the same shade to complement it. Planning these rooms has lifted some of the "rattling around in an empty box" feeling I have had since Ellie left, the downside is that I have lots of ideas for other rooms so the smell of paint could linger for some time..! Your arm sounds a real misery and I hope this latest lady can help and limit the chances of Colin needing medical help! Blue skies and sunshine, love from Jo x
February 6, 2013 at 7:27 pm -
Hi Ali
Sorry to hear you're having problems with your arm again. Hope all else is well. For some strange reason everytime(nowhere else abroad) I go to Cyprus my joints swell. I went to the Dr who said I had Viral arthritis. I had to wear a support on my right wrist for months so I know how difficult it can be.Until it happened, it didn't dawn on me that by using your left hand all the time how awkward it is. Certain things you have to do in the opposite direction(if that makes sense!!)now I know how my brother feels-being left handed-isn't Lucy too?
I told you last time about my massage- I found out that due to the car accident my neck,body etc is out of line so should see a physiotherpist or chiropractor-it's done more damage than originally thought.Talking about my birthday I forgot to tell you my main present- Clogau Gold necklace- no surprise there then as you know I love the range and coming from Wales!!
Take care as always, speak soon
Julie x Lily xxxxx
February 6, 2013 at 8:08 pm -
Dear Ali,
I have not written for some time as there has been some much going on in my family, none of it good. Christmas was not to good my sister was in hospital for ten weeks and then in a hospice. She'sout now but is still poorly. Other members have been in hospital as well, but their are on the road to recovery thank goodness. All in all I have had two sisters and two nephews all in hospital one after another.
Hope that your arm gets better soon. I know how you must feel as I have cronic arthritis, I have had it for nearly 24 years. You will find ways around it. God Bless you and your family.
Luv lindalou
February 6, 2013 at 9:58 pm -
Hello Ali
how lovely to have your catch up again and so good to hear your arm is having some tender loving care. I have to admit that I had not noticed any swelling or bandage of any sort when you have been on and thought on Saturday night how brilliant you were looking. So refreshing and just fab. It may be like so many of us when something is not quite right that we think everyone notices the imperfections but actually what one does notice are the good things – like the smile, fab hair and bright eyes (all of which I noticed on Saturday with you) etc and not the things that we feel are not right with us. A friend had to have all her lymph nodes removed in one arm about a year ago and she said it is really not very nice. She had 13 removed first and then the rest in a second operation. My daughter has just had her fourth chemo and feeling quite "done in" at the moment but this should soon improve as the days go by. Good news in that after the chemo and radio she will not need the hormone tablets as first thought – that is a very long story which I won't bore you with but suffice to say the breast surgeon we have is really on the ball and a godsend.
Looking forward to your next update
Love Jillyxx
February 6, 2013 at 11:11 pm -
Hi Ali….I am sorry to hear about your arm I did see you on the fashion show last week and you mentioned your arm and it looked swollen…you cope so well..my colleague has the same problem and her hand is bad too…the Orchids look beautiful ….I have a broken bone story for you…I work for Asda and one of our charities is Tickled Pink for breast cancer so we do lots of fundraising each year and this particular one we all decided to have random sprays of pink put into our hair…me being blonde my streak was very distinctive…so picture the scene I finish work and rush to our town centre Saturday afternoon for an appointment very busy town centre lots of shoppers I get my toe caught in some block paving fall headlong spread eagled on the floor and I'd put my two hands out instinctively to break my fall…by this time a crowd had gathered I'd broken my right radial head clean across and my humerus I was almost passing out with the pain when the crowd started shouting "she's split her head open and there a lot of blood call for an ambulance". Of course it was my Tickled Pink hair …it was amazing how no one bothered about my real injuries …anyway I've laughed about it many times since but at the time I was in agony so I spent 6 weeks in a cushioned arm brace as they couldn't plaster may arm due to the radial head brake it was terrible not being able to do things that I'd taken for granted all these years…I must tell you that tonight I am burning Waikiki Melon one of the newYankee fragrances ..I got the last TSV on auto delivery but was one of the unlucky ones that missed out on the large jar auto delivery so I bought the single item ones…but the lovely Craig has been working behind the scenes for us all and he kept us informed on Facebook that they are being brought back on auto delivery hopefully soon so I can't wait as I am addicted….I am now off to prepare myself for my 5am alarm call (another day another dollar) have a great rest of the week Ali and take good care
Sending much love
Sue Jennings
February 7, 2013 at 1:14 am -
Hi Ali
I know exactly what you are going through with your swollen arm.
My mom suffered with this problem after having her mastectomy back in the early 60's, but unfortunately they did not have the medical knowledge then as they do now,she had to do exercises for her arm, by crawling the hand up the wall, so try and stretch it and perhaps get some kind of relief, it was quite funny to see, although not for her, and the whole family used to make funny comments to her, but she did see the funny side of most of them, especially if we said…. we always knew Dad drove you up the wall…. so she suffered with a very swollen arm until she passed away early 70's. You are an inspiration to all the ladies that have suffered and still are suffering with breast cancer as well as to the ones who havent. keep strong x
February 7, 2013 at 7:40 pm -
Poor you, Ali – I thought you'd damaged it by trying to Zumba in those skyscraper heels you were wearing!
February 7, 2013 at 8:06 pm -
Hi Alison, you poor thing you do have a time off it don't you, but I hope you will be feeling better soon and thanks to your nurse am sure you will have your arm back as good as new:)as you know my illness can make it hard to do things even things as easy as washing hair can be a no no and it gets to you, which I know is way different to what you are going through so I can only imagine how you are feeling, but I know you won't give up as you are a strong beautiful women, but I do hate to hear off your suffering and can only hope you will be feeling much better soon:) on another note your sam was right I did ask Rebecca and yes it is sore having a tattoo done on the bone but the tendons is worse so you might want to let sam know that reply from Rebecca and please let us know if he is going to go for another one? and I told Rebecca that you loved the sound off her tatoos, which ended in a huge smile over her face, she's off for number 7 on valentines day just a small one this time:) as for your orchid, don't give up give it some Richard Jacksons Root Booster, followed by his flower power every two weeks, I have had amazing results with plants that looked like there was no hope left, and Richard will back me up on that one as he is proud off my past results:) hope you have a lovely weekend, luv to colin and the family also, love Rhona xx
February 7, 2013 at 10:31 pm -
Dear Ali,
Hope your arm is behaving and you're not feeling too uncomfortable – it must be awful for you. I'm sure it will improve with time. Some years ago my friend broke both her ankles (oh I'm having a funny turn just thinking about it). She had her 9 month old niece in her arms at the time having just taken her out of the bath, her foot went right through a rotten floor board on the step leading out of the bathroom and in her struggle to save the baby from harm she twisted sideways – she actually heard the ankles crack aaaargh! She reminds me of you Ali as she was so brave and hardly complained about it. The worst fall I had was two summers ago – I remember telling you about it. I fell flat on my face having caught my foot in a pothole while on a short break to Cornwall with my friend resulting in a broken nose and three deep cuts on my face having to be glued back together. All has since healed, apart from a small scar above my top lip. I looked as if I'd done 10 rounds in a boxing ring.
Have just returned from a lovely holiday to Mexico. Had a great time and enjoyed every minute of it (apart from trying to manage my hair – I looked like the wild man of Borneo most of the time as the weather was so humid – glad I took my hairpiece LOL). I couldn't believe how pleasant and helpful the hotel staff and locals were. Will definitely visit again!
Despite the problems you're having with your arm Ali, you're looking great as always.
Bye for now,
Love from Sue Radford x
February 7, 2013 at 11:09 pm -
Hi Ali. Just saw you on the Bare Minerals show and was sorry to see you had the bandage sleeve back on again. I hope now you are seeing a nurse locally that you will soon be feeling better and your arm will be 'normal' again. I always enjoy reading your blogs and you amaze me that you stay so positive with all that happens in your life. Take care of yourself. Sending love xx
February 7, 2013 at 11:30 pm -
Hi Ali, I am typing this on my tablet so spelling may be compromised! Poor you and your arm it must be so uncomfortable. Your arm misdemeanors did, I am afraid, make me giggle but I am sure with massage etc it will be back to normal soon..Arms are funny things; sometimes they just hang either side of our bodies and in moments of awkwardness we just don't know what to do with them yet when one is not functioning it causes all sorts of problems. I broke the bone that goes from shoulder to elbow..sorry but for the life of me I can't remember the biological terminology.. but it basically snapped in half with a diagonal cut. Much to my horror they can't plaster thst part of the arm as its impossible to immobilize so instead it was trussed like a turkey with Velcro strapping and a sling so the diagonal break was pulled together in opposition. How painful and how vulnerable I felt. So how do you shampoo your hair leaning over the bath with the shower attachment or do up jeans or do the things you need to do at certain times of the month? Its impossible!
Anything goes was hilarious ( I recorded casualty and watched it Sunday morning!) And Craig's surely a contender for the next Strictly…he has snake hips and lots of rhythm. It looks like so much fun.
Only a week and a bit until half term. I have made the curtains for my daughter Chloe's room in between batch baking lasagne for the freezer on Saturday and managed to line them with some thermal blackout lining fabric which has made them woderfully thick and luxurious. Whilst sewing I realised that my electric Singer sewing machine was 26 years old and it still goes like a dream; I certainly have got my money out of that, it was truly built to last.. My daughter was very impressed with my sewing skills…a definite compliment from a newly crowned teenager. Photo s of her cake are on the way but my printer is having a tantrum and decided to only print half a picture so my sister is giving me her old one as she bought a new printer when it was the tsv a few weeks ago.
Mum had hospital at Kings this week and good news is that her brain tumour is finally shrinking. Relief all round although there is more scar tissue on the left hand side and there is damage to the right hand side confirming that she did have a stroke in the summer but the news of her tumour was the best ever.
Finally, I made a chocolate sauce sponge in my slow cooker..one where you make the sponge then make the chocolate sauce with cocoa and milk then pour over sponge. When its cooked the sauce is under the sponge. Its a Simon Brown recipe and is delicious. Give it a try. Have a great week. Mary xx
February 8, 2013 at 10:23 am -
Dear Ali,I hope your arm is improving. I have had a very emotional week It started with us going to see Donny and Marie Osmond for my birthday,he was my teen idol and I can't believe I finally got to see him, at 52.They are both fabulous singers and it was a wonderful show. Marie dedicated a song to her son who had died, it was so moving.
The following day we helped move my son and his girlfriend into their flat and my son asked could he have the tv from his bedroom at home, and I said what will you do when you come to stay, to which he replied I won't be staying as much now mum, and gave me a big hug. He will have his own little family now, and I realized that he has really left home now. When we got home I went to his bedroom and sobbed, I know you can relate to this Ali and I am so glad that things are back on track for you and Jack, Family is everything,and so very soon we will have another member of ours to love and cherish.
The to top it all of we went to see Les Mis on wed, more crying. So this weekend we will have to visit a science museum were no emotion is involved , I am drained!!
The 18th is fast approaching, no sign of baby yet, but can't wait.
Take good care Ali, speak soon love Janet xx
February 8, 2013 at 11:23 am -
forgot to say Ali, when I got home from a friends on my birthday, there was a beautiful bouquet of tulips (one of my favorite flowers)
in my porch. They were from my son, as you can imagine that set me off again!! What a wuss!! Can you imagine what I will be like when the baby is born. Note to self, must get in lots of boxes of man size tissues!!
Speak soon Ali love Janet xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:30 pm -
Babs you are my hero! That fall and the subsequent operation sounds HORRIBLE! Physiotherapy a necessary evil, but hell when you're going through it I know… I think you're a star to carry on with the exercises even tho they hurt, and I hope that although you still have some problems they will recify themselves. I remember the nerve pain I had in my arm after the mastectomy could make me weep, but the physio had to get me to stretch it until the 'cords' snapped….ouch! This is far less uncomfortable, but the itching under the bandage last night kept me awake 🙂 I'm glad I can make you laugh…a sense of humour is what gets most of us through most things! Take care and stay well, Love Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:32 pm -
Hello there Gwen and thanks for writing. Yes I only have another week of the bandaging to go, so hopefully all will be well and I'll have a sleeve that fits at the end of it 🙂 Lots of love and luck to you too, Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:37 pm -
Christine you write so beautifully, and your analogy of the eucalyptus trees was very moving…. and very true… It sounds to me as though you've been through it in your own way too, but I take my hat of to you for perservering and I thank you also for your prayers – so very much appreciated. I saw my mum just yesterday and passed your good wishes on to her too – thank you Christine, and I hope that you stay well and healthy and busy with your family and gorgeous grandchildren.Love Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:40 pm -
Dear Magda, I am sorry to hear that your arm has taken this long to heal… I hope that with continued use it will stop hurting. I am sure your local hairdresser was thrilled to see you there so often… I am lucky that I can take the bandages off every two days and so shower and wash my own hair! The weather in Mallorca sounds as weird as ours here, although I think we'd be hard pushed to get 18 degrees and warm at the moment 🙂 Take care and rest, sending you my love, Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:45 pm -
Dear Jo, always good to hear from you and loving the expression 'iron cold'…. have had a few days/nights like that here too! I admire you very much for taking on the task of creating a mood board in memory of a student from your school…. as you say so important that you get it right, but I am certain you will… Keeping busy so that you adjust to not having Ellie with you is a good idea – it's incredible how quickly the weeks pass, and I'm sure she'll be back to visit any time soon! Yes the arm is a nuisance and quite sore and heavy now, but only a week to go and then bandages off and sleeve on! You take care, and keep in touch.. always here, love Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:48 pm -
Julie what a bloomin' nuisance especially when you're meant to be away enjoying yourself! I agree completely about using your left hand – mascara was all over the shop! And yes Lucy is left handed as is Jack, and my brother Peter! Perhaps you should try Pilates to straighten up your alignment problem – it's excellent for central core stability 🙂 Very glad you got the Clogau Gold necklace and I wish you well to wear it. Love to you and Lily, Alixx
February 8, 2013 at 2:51 pm -
Sue, what a trooper!!! Your fall sounds horrendous, and worse still that your real injuries didn't come to light until the ambulance arrived! 6 weeks in a cushioned arm brace puts my fortnight in sponge and crepe bandage to shame! I am glad that you get such pleasure from the fabulous fragrance of Yankee Candles – I do think our Craig is as much of a fan as you are! We had fun together on Anything Goes last Saturday – he's one heck of a dancer as I said! Take care sue and enjoy your lie in tomorrow – well at least I hope you will have one. Love Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:54 pm -
Gosh Sue reading your comment took me back to the Physio's room and doing the very same exercises your mum did… climbing the wall with your hand… not as easy as it sounds, and I'm just sorry that all her perserverance never alleviated the swelling.. I'm equally sorry that she lost her battle – I am sure you miss her… Have to admit to struggling a little at the moment what with the arm and lack of sleep, but reading all these comments puts my situation in perspective – always 🙂 You take care and thanks again for writing, love Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 2:55 pm -
Chris I wish that had have been the case – didn't do too badly did I considering!!! 🙂 Have a good weekend, love Ali x
February 8, 2013 at 2:57 pm -
Hi there Rhona I am seeing Sam and jack tomorrow so will definitely ask him re the tattoo! I hope her new tattoo brings her joy 🙂 Thanks for your tips re the orchid, but sadly as all the leaves had died back I sent it to Orchid heaven in the cuttings bin, and only have the stem with flowers left… it was outstanding though and I believe only lasted that long BECAUSE of Richard jackson's flower Power 😀 Love you you and yours from me and mine xxx
February 8, 2013 at 3:00 pm -
Ooooh Sue, your tale of your friend who broke both her ankles at the same time has brought me out in a hot flush!! The sounds of bones cracking is just ghastly! Thank heavens though her neice was unharmed – she would never have forgiven herself I'm sure… I do remember you telling me about your fall as it was the summer I was having treatment and thought at the time that a broken nose and three huge cuts on your face was far worse than losing my hair! so glad it healed well and that you've had a lovely time in Mexico. You should try the OJON frizzy hair shampoo and conditioner – it really works! Percy and Read have a fab spray too so check it out online 🙂 You take care and relax this weekend, love Ali xx
February 8, 2013 at 3:01 pm -
Dear Del, thank you for your kind words. I am indeed seeing a nurse locally and she is fab – I'm certain that this fornight of targetted treatment will sort it and hopefully the arm will be 'normal' again – something it's not been for nearly two years now! I'm glad that you enjoy reading the blogs, and really appreciate you taking the time to reply. Love Ali x
February 8, 2013 at 10:17 pm -
Hi Alison, So sorry to hear about problems again with your arm. We had quite a busy weekend so I didn't catch seeing you on screen. My Mother in law had or should say has similiar problems but with her legs after a knee replacement op and she really has had a terrible time with it so I can very much understand how you must be feeling. Like someone else replied you would never know as you are always like a ray of sunshine on the screen.
I've had quite a busy week – my sons 25th Birthday,zumba classes,2nd time of seeing Les Mis,start of the new Rugby season,doctors and blood test appointments and a day out shopping in Leeds – phew! Then typically my diary for next week is empty – not even sure what Valentines Day holds yet! Its my evening for my Zumba class which I am addicted to so I told my hubby I'm still going! I said he can cook a meal for when I get in. Then tonight he saw an advert on TV that looks like his team has a game (football that is) the same day – oh well after 28 years I guess we don't need a special day ha ha. I hope Colin and yourself have a lovely Valentines.
Take care Alison,
Lots of love
February 9, 2013 at 12:38 am -
Hi Ali,wanted to say, although you must be in pain with your poor arm, you are such an inspiration to us all. You are always so cheerful,I am always pleased when I see that you are presenting.
Wishing you and your arm 🙂 a speedy recovery.
Would you please pass my thoughts onto Amica. x
Claire xx
February 9, 2013 at 5:16 pm -
Hi ali
So sorry to hear your arm is causing you problems. Hope they will be able to get it right for you. Elaine
February 10, 2013 at 11:01 am -
Hi Ali
I was in HOF this week buying another Armoury and reading this made me link the 2 they would be absolutely fab and I have included a link.http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/on/demandware.store/Sites-hof-Site/default/Search-Show?q=armoury
Reading your blog is so refreshing and puts life and all its random surprises into perspective.
Take care have a good week
Sarah X
February 10, 2013 at 1:01 pm -
hi ali you alright!? saw you on tele and you looked really well i hope your arm gets better soon i had 6 lymph nodes taken away 4 were good 2 bad i was lucky really though under my arm is numb and arm does ache sometimes if i do to much,so i dont! haha!! we went to see steves daughter and 3 girls last week for the first time youngest is 3 called jessica, she has cystic fibrosis oh ali its such a shame she is lovely and so lively and happy you wouldnt think there was anything wrong looking at her! the other 2 girls are 14 and 17 it was lovely to see them and will see them again soon. well my kitchen was delivered friday-yippeee! its in garage at the mo and will be started tomorrow (monday) its light oak and grey worktops cant wait for it all to be done! i have to go to doctors on tuesday i had blood test and sugar was up from last time so he wants to see me the meds im on for bc is anastrozole and it can affect liver function but that was ok thank goodness!!well take care ali love to you and your family and all of ali"s army! xx
February 10, 2013 at 2:05 pm -
Hi Ali, you are truly inspirational. I read all your blogs. I hope your arm will soon be better; you always seem to soldier on so bravely.
Let's hope this year will be a good one for us all,
Louise xxx
February 10, 2013 at 7:04 pm -
Hi Ali so sorry you are having problems with your arm and I hope between you and the nurse it gets back to normal quickly. I have just had my last chemo session and thought I was doing ok compared to some of the poor women in the cheno suite(there is always someome worse off than me)only to find that I have a clot in my arm that the chemo was put in and now the veisn are thickening and shortening which is very annoying as I cannot straighten the arm. I have blood thinning inj and hope will sort itself out along with the rest of me now the chemo is finished. You have been my inspiration throughout this treatment and I want to thank you for being so open and honest about what has happened to you. I think you look fabulous now and can only hope my hair returns so well, yours is fabulous. Please continue to improve and look fab xxxx
February 12, 2013 at 9:11 pm -
Hi Ali
Must say I was rather concerned to see you bandaged up the other day. I hoped you hadn't hurt yourself in the snow and ice and fallen over. I then read your blog and found out why. You poor thing you seem to be a magnet for things happening to you. As always you get on with life with such a brilliant attitude to facing the world and what it throws as you. Hope things soon get better for you and take care as always. I often think of you and how well you are doing. love Judithx
February 13, 2013 at 2:12 pm -
It's the first time i've seen your blog and i loved it. Keep up the good work x
February 13, 2013 at 2:18 pm -
Hi Ali
I watched you on Kim & Co 's show and I remaked to Harold that I thought you were having problems with your right arm again, I thought you managed really well to keep it out of sight, I bet your arm was aching by the time you had finished, I hope this new nurse will soon get you on the right path. A long time ago, I was in long leg plaster for 16 weeks, and I remember waking up with Harold panicking as my plastered left leg was lying across his throat, this was in the days when the cast was made of plaster of paris and not the lightweight bay cast that they now use. We thought it was like a scene out of a Carry On film. How funny but my orchid is now on it's last legs and we have had it flowering eighteen months, not as long as you Ali but it's sad when they go, although they seem expensive when you buy one they are worth every penny. We got to know this week that my grandaughter Harriet has got into her chosen university which is great, my daughter says they seem to have to do so much more work than what she did. Have you and Colin got any holidays planned yet, I know sometimes you like a break early in the year, I don't know whether we will go abroad this year but we will cetainly be taking soome breaks. Hope you get this Ali as the one I sent ten days ago didn't appear to have arrived. Always in my thoughts Much Love Norma x
February 13, 2013 at 5:22 pm -
Dear Lindalou, my failsafe method of answering these messages has failed!! 🙂 So sorry I missed you on my last round, and especially as you've been going through such a hard time of it…please give my very best to your sisters and nephews – let's pray that there will be some respite for all of you. I am sorry that on top of all this worry you have to struggle with arthritis… I have the beginnings of it in my hip and so completely commiserate. I hope very much that you're able to stay warm in this chilly weather and that things are improving for you all, with my love and best wishes, Ali xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:26 pm -
My dear Jilly, as with Lindalou, I seem to have missed your lovely comment this week, so please forgive my late reply! Your kind words are much appreciated as I am finding this bandaging a little tiresome now, and will be glad to get it off, but….. the arm looks smaller than it has done for at least a year, so I am well pleased! That is such good news for your daughter that she will not need the hormone tablets afterwards, this should mean she avoids the awful hot flushing and tiredness – I do hope so. I'm sorry that she's struggling tho at the moment after her fourth chemo… it does tend to have an accumulative effect. Please send her my best and remind her that it's four less treatments that she has to face – best way of looking at it I found, and that she is well on her way to getting better now 🙂 Love to you Jilly and thank you for keeping in touch with me, Ali xxx
February 13, 2013 at 5:31 pm -
Janet I think we must have been separated at birth! I too was such an avid Osmond fan – I had all their albums, singles, posters, magazine, you name it, I bought it! The first time I saw Donny performing live I burst into tears….! It was as though I was 13 again… I have never seen Marie though, and had no idea she had lost a son… how terribly sad. I am sure the song was beautiful. Your comment about your son and his words to you made me cry though… I do completely understand, and really feel for you, but trust me, he won't ever be far from you, and the baby will be even more reason to visit regularly – you will no doubt be the perfect Grandma 🙂 I don't think I could have coped with Les Mis as well – it seemed to collect a fair few BAFTAs as well as those Oscar nominations, so perhaps one day I will brave it. Roll on the 18th for you, and DO let me know when you get the news. Lots of love Janet, Ali xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:32 pm -
I just got your second comment Janet… not surprised you shed a few more tears.. he's a good lad, and never underestimate how much you mean to him… I think boys find it difficult to say sometimes… Take care, love me xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:37 pm -
Gosh Denise I felt quite exhausted reading about all that you've been up to! I hope your son enjoyed his 25th birthday – we have Sam's 24th in March! I hope that all your tests have come back OK and that you enjoyed the Rugby at the weekend. I too had a week of waiting – found a new lump and enlarged lymph nodes, but an ultrasound yesterday said it was OK and they won't need to take a tissue sample until I have my next lot of surgery…relief 🙂 Thank you for all you say about my work at QVC – to be honest it's lovely to have something I enjoy doing so much, plus time with my friends, and all of it gives me less time to even think about other things. I do hope your Valentines Day is fun whatever you end up doing…. if you get my drift!! 🙂 As you say after 28 years you don't need a special day to know you love each other. Take care and thanks again for writing, love Ali xxx
February 13, 2013 at 5:39 pm -
Claire thank you so much for saying so – I do enjoy my days at QVC, and it's always a pleasure to work with new and regular guests! Great too to hear from you and know that you're the other side of the camera. I will certainly pass on your wishes to Amica when I next see her – she is doing very well, and the treatment is working thank heavens. Love to you, Ali xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:40 pm -
Hi Elaine, yes the arm is a bloomin' nuisance, but having had it unwrapped and rebandaged today it really has reduced in size quite dramatically so hopefully with the correctly fitting sleeve I'll be able to keep on top of it 🙂 I hope all is good with you and you are keeping warm in this chilly weather, love Ali x
February 13, 2013 at 5:42 pm -
Sarah how very kind of you! I think my mum mentioned this to me once, but I forgot all about it! Once I have the right sized sleeve these would look beautiful over it – you are very kind 🙂 I hope you are having a good week, and thank you for writing, love Ali xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:47 pm -
Hi Angela Y'am awright 🙂 Arm well on its way to recovery, but delighted to hear that you haven't had to put up with this! I had 5 taken from under the left arm but that seems to be OK at present – the sleeve will no doubt help. Thank you for asking 🙂 Sorry that you're having to have more tests and hope the sugar levels as well as your kidneys are OK. I am sure though that your visit to see Steve's daughter and her three children was wonderful, although I am sorry to hear about little Jessica… such a difficult condition to have to live with, but she sounds a delightful soul 🙂 I am delighted that your kitchen has finally arrived, and I hope that work started as planned on Monday – let me know how it looks once it's done eh? Enjoy the rest of the week, and thanks for writing, love Ali xxx
February 13, 2013 at 5:51 pm -
Dear Louise, I so very much hope you're right, and that this year will be a good one for all. Not much longer to put up with the bandage, and then hopefully there will be an improvement. It has been a nuisance at work though, but has taken my mind off thinking about my breast clinic appointment yesterday. All was fine though, but it's silly really how worried you can get about it beforehand even though you know it should be OK. Thank you for writing to me Louise, and do keep in touch, love Ali xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:55 pm -
Hi there Margaret, and thank you so very much for writing to me when you sound as though you are really going through it at the moment! I am so sorry that a clot was found in your arm, but I very much hope that the blood thinners you are having will sort the problem pretty swiftly. All the other bits and bobs you're having to contend with will right themselves, and surprisingly quickly I found i.e. mouth ulcers, nose bleeds etc. My hair started growing back just weeks after my last chemo, and altho my nails took longer they are fine now. They do say most people's hair is thicker and curlier so I will pray yours grows as mine did – I love it! Well done you for getting through your treatment, and you too continue to get better – the hardest part is over now 🙂 Take care, love Ali xx
February 13, 2013 at 5:58 pm -
Dear Judith thank you so much for your concern and kind words. The arm is definitely improving, and I hope to have the bandaging off by the beginning of next week. The arm already looks a lot slimmer so it wil have been worth it 🙂 Lots going on here – we lost all heating and hot water last weekend – but all sorted now! I do hope all is good with you and that you enjoy the rest of the week. Love Ali xx


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haha! my blog is baby blue! woooo!
was taking down the blog for like 50 minutes today to fix a looping issue but ended up taking literally 4 hours; i know nobody notices these things but i dodododo. the blog was mismatching post data and post content and it was pissing me off. couldn't go from page to page properly. then after i fixed that, i found out that my archives and tag pages were screwed up (when did THAT happen?!?!) so i fixed that too. i basically spent my ENTIRE afternoon doing this.
in between running around the house with puppy being all nice and going all tarzany on my code, i weighed myself and twitched when i found out how fat i am now
i really took my body for granted. went to the bathroom sometime before lunch and saw myself in the mirror; i know i am having the most epic infinite period ever but holy shit i look like crap. my face was bloated, my arms have never looked bigger, i think i am getting massive cellulite, and i can't climb the stairs without huffing and puffing like a wolf trying to blow some pigs' houses down
i am really pissed with myself. on one hand, i want to take better care of myself, on the other, i am constantly battling the blues and my laziness is at an all-time high. i didn't really have the motivation to exercise before, but after today i really have no excuse.
so i guess its cardio skipping time every day now!
ah well.
EDIT: omg that was scary. got owned by 500 internal server error and almost lost the site. not going to use w3 total cache plugin ever again, you guys can have fun loading the site slowly!!!
Aw, you are hard on yourself — you are probably your worst critic. If that photo is of you, you look great =)


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Carol Murray
Founder and CEO of
Crafts Emporium
My name is Carol Murray. I love arts and crafts, and have experimented often with several of the craft kits from Wal-mart. I used to make those weaving loom potholders for my grandmother every Christmas, it was the only thing she wanted me to get her for Christmas. I loved making them because even though I didn't have money to buy her something very nice, I could still giver her something useful that would make her think of me often. My mother taught me how to crochet a Granny Square, and I found that I loved to Crochet, but ending up getting so caught up in college that I forgot how to do it.
When I married my husband, I had to move to the other side of North Carolina, away from not only my family and college but also my job. His step mother loved to go sell at a flea market, and made a decent profit from it. It got me to thinking about how I could make a decent profit also, because finding a job wasn't working. I decided to go back to Wal-mart and get a Spook Knitting kit, I knew from past experience that it wasn't hard and I could make nifty items from it. I did and started making cute little butterflies. That quickly brought back the love of working with yarn, and I bought one of those lapghan kits. I made a giant qranny square lapghan, and bought a small how-to book that had crochet, knitting, tatting, and other yarn crafts in it.
I quickly learned how to do other stitches, and have made several crocheted items. I love the free flyers that can be found at Wal-mart and Hobby Lobby that have crochet patterns on them, and I have even created my own version of a crochet square. Most of my crochet items involve a pattern, and I try to credit those sourses when possible. I do have several websites that I visit to obtain free patterns, I have listed them on the Links page.
My husband and I have been married since Dec. 14, 2002, and we are still madly in love. We still fuss and fight sometimes, but we always make up and life is good. We have a small petting zoo consisting of a dog named Hunter, three cats named Salem, Pine-sol (Piney), and Olivia Pecan. Olivia thinks that Hunter is her mother, and loves to do whatever Hunter does, except get petted. We also have Goldfish, 2 Betta fish, a turtle named Bob, and the newest addition as of 7/23/09, a baby Five Lined Skink the daycare kids named Isa, after the lizard on Dora the Explorer.
I am in the process of learning about sheep, I want to know why they figure so prominently in the Bible, and why Jesus used them in parables instead of some other animal, like a goat. Also, why is Jesus called 'The Lamb of God', and not 'The Kid of God'? But that is a personal study, meant to teach me important lessons. This website should benefit however, because in the course of studying the sheep I would like to shear sheep and learn how to process the wool into yarn. Guess what I'll do with the yarn? Yup, learn dyeing techniques and make an afghan! :-D I will post lessons learned when I learn them. Until then, Have fun and Keep Crafting!
Carol Murray
Thank you for visiting my page at Angelfire. Your support is what keeps us in business!!
Please come back and visit again! Carol H Murray
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I am developing an application in Asp.net MVC and suddenly found some problems while using LINQtoSQL class.
1) In It's class tables will be converted as an object.
It will keep the size of all attributes as your database structure.
So If you use it on model binding, then larger string will not be set to the Object.
So, you can not validate it on server side. yet you can show exception but you will never be
able to catch it!
2) If you give two foreign keys of the same primary table then you will get join names Like
customerMaster1, customerMaster2……. & It becomes hell to change it!!
I have just started blog witting…. So your comments will be appreciated….


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Information for this tour was contributed by Chuck McLaughlin.
The Grand Opera House was located in the Hyde Block in the upper Pierre Street area, in the same building that the Corner Drug is in, although it was down the hill towards the alley. The Opera House was opened and operated by the Hyde family for many years. In the 1940s, the State Theatre Company took it over and the name changed to the Grand Theatre. The Grand Theatre was later remolded into the Studio Theatre. The Grand was the only theatre in town from the time the old State burned down, and the New State was built. The name has again changed, reverting back to the Grand Opera House.
August 2003 photos from the Adam Martin collection.
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Recorded: Wednesday Jan 30, 2013
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Roshi Joan and Upaya Zen Center launched a new Google+ Community on Engaged Buddhism. Roshi will be doing a hangout on Mar 5th @11AM. Please visit the community and join Roshi on Mar 5th. Episode Description: In this dharma talk Tias takes us through many formations of clouds. Understanding them physically and also metaphorically we can […]


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Monday, May 23, 2011
Support Your Local Orchestra! Or, In Which the Mahlerjahre Catch Up With Me
Are you sensing a "but" coming, Gentle Readers? Let it begin this sentence: "But where were the sex and death?" Conductor Timothy Hutto seemed to have good rapport with the orchestra, which played, on the whole, quite competently. There were some technical issues with the horns, I think, which sounded muddy to me; and the warm, humid hall was certainly doing the strings no favors. I had forgotten how charming the poem for the soprano (here Danya Katok) in the last movement is; but it is also dark and bloody in the second stanza, and cheerfully sensual elsewhere, and anything but tame.
The first half of the concert featured the Wunderhorn selections: "Nicht wiedersehen!", "Ablösung im Sommer," "Des Antonius von Padua Fischpredigt," and "Wo die schönen Trompeten blasen." I liked Christopher DeVage's warm baritone, and he sang the first selection with moving melancholy. What I missed was the moment of shock brought on by the vicious twist in the narrative. The final duet was sung with tenderness; but it seemed remarkably chaste. I wanted more wildness. I wanted more sensuality. What about death, desire, and madness? This is Mahler: shouldn't he always be at least a little dangerous?
5 comments:
The best a rendition of Mahler without "death, desire, and madness" can be is a technically good performance - which doesn't seem to have been the case either. :-PReplyDelete
I like the Wunderhorn recording that Thomas Hampson put out a few years ago. He definitely captures its nuances and range of emotions.ReplyDelete
I'm currently brushing up on Mahler, as I'm going to the Lieder von der Erde next week (starring Kaufmann and Joswig; am freaking out a little on that front) and want to know what I'm getting into. Part of me wants to go in fully prepared, and the other wants to go in knowing nothing so that I have no quips with the music. You saw a performance of it, didn't you?
[Advice to Christie: IF you know Mahler's music (never jump out of nowhere into Mahler! :\ ), just read the lyrics and give them a thought. They are most interesting Chinese poems. If you feel too tempted, listen to the music as well; but do not forget that doing so, you won't have the pleasure to listen to it for the first time live. You will surely give more value to it though. Kaufmann's rendition must be thrilling!!]ReplyDelete
@Placido Zacarias *sigh* Yes, well... they weren't bad, but I don't think Mahler is their rep!ReplyDelete
@Christie I am a fan of Hampson's Mahler interpretations as a general rule; he's not afraid of understatement where appropriate, which I enjoy. Plus there's the line, and the text, and and and... :)
Vicarious freaking out is occurring!! Extrapolating from my own experience (first live Das Lied this Jan with Levine; there's a link in this post) there's no danger of you not being overwhelmed, in the best way possible of course. Who's conducting when you're hearing it? My own favorite recording is the one with Fritz Wunderlich and Christa Ludwig under Klemperer if you're looking for one to listen through.
@Lucy-The conductor is Stefan Malzew; the pianist is Robert Leonardy. According to the website, they're also singing some Mozart and Mussorsky, and "Night on Bald Mountain" seems to be taking a good chunk of time. It's going to be a fantastic evening. Thanks for the rec; I love Christa Ludwig and so will probably track down her version.ReplyDelete
I'm wrestling with my inner fangirl on whether or not to get the man's autograph after the concert, if he comes out. I have this horror of giggling at him like a teenage girl. Of course if I don't, I may just hate myself forever.
@Placido Zacerias-Thanks! I'm familiar with Mahler, though not as much as I should be. Definitely going to read the poems before I go.


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Thursday, June 29, 2006
Under the Umbrella of Love #3hehe…seems like lots of people are enjoying my UTUOL feature! Excellent! Me, too! =) I want to take this time to thank you guys for spending time reading and commenting. Love the feedbacks! Plus, it appears that my last 2 installments have jolted our memories a bit, as more "umbrella" scenes are brought up. lol...some I didn't know or some I just plain forgot! Thanks guys! This feature might extend longer than I expected. A good thing? A bad? We'll just have to wait and see. ;-)
On my last post, I brought back one of TVB's most memorable couples of all time: Bobby Au Yeung and Esther Kwan. How about bringing in another memorable couple in the 1990s...drum roll please…j/k!!
Series: Healing Hands (妙手仁心)
Cast: Lawrence Ng (吳啟華) & Ada Choi (蔡少芬)
Year: 1997-98
A little surprised that it's not an umbrella scene, huh? lol...it's okay. Scroll down and you'll see the screen capture. (hehe...I like this picture better) Although Paul and Jackie are under separate umbrellas, but hey! It's raining. There's not just 1 umbrella, but 2. And of course, another sweet moment. An endearing couple. =)
I dare say Ada and Lawrence's chemistry are undeniably unforgetable in many aspects. (Again, based on my opinions.) Their actings are great. The series they were in was good. (<3 Healing Hands! ; Fate Twisters was okay, too ) They won the "My Favorite Partnership" Award for both HH 1 & 2. What more can we say?!! Other couples haven't achieve what they did! Ada has always been one of my favorite artists, since for every role she portrayed, she does it so well! Lawrence for me...other than seeing him paired with Ada, I'm not too fond of him. He's good...but some things just...ehh..about him. (coughs...HH3!) =/ But nonetheless, they made it! Paul and Jackie: my #3 UTUOL couple.


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Lucha Libre AAA: Héroes del Ring is an action sports game based on Mexican sport of 'Lucha Libre' style wrestling. The first video game to cover Mexican wrestling, Lucha Libre AAA: Héroes del Ring features dozens of real wrestlers from Mexico's premiere wrestling federation. Each of these possesses the acrobatic, over-the-top action that Lucha Libre, and which inspired modern professional wrestling around the world. Additional game features include: a popularity based scoring system, the ability to create you own luchador, authentic Mexican wrestling venues and more.
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Fairfax Media has revealed on the evening of May 17 it received an indicative, preliminary and non-binding proposal on behalf of funds affiliated with Hellman & Friedman LLC (together with affiliates, Hellman & Friedman) to acquire 100% of the shares in Fairfax (on a fully diluted basis) at a price between $1.225 to $1.250 per share, with all consideration being in cash. The proposal assumes no dividends are paid by Fairfax from the date of the proposal to completion (H&F Indicative Proposal).
The second proposal follows the revised, indicative, preliminary and non-binding proposal from the TPG Consortium to acquire 100% of the shares in Fairfax (on a fully diluted basis) at a price of $1.20 per share.
The Fairfax Board has considered both proposals and determined they will invite both Hellman & Friedman and the TPG Consortium to conduct due diligence in order to establish whether an acceptable binding transaction can be agreed.
Commenting on the proposals, Fairfax's chairman Nick Falloon said: "The Fairfax Board appreciates the support shareholders have demonstrated for Fairfax's current strategy and the potential separation of the Domain Group. We have carefully considered the indicative proposals and believe it is in the best interests of shareholders to grant both parties due diligence to explore whether a potential whole of company proposal is available."
The proposals are subject to various conditions, including due diligence, Fairfax shareholder approval, and obtaining requisite regulatory approvals, including Australian Foreign Investment Review Board (FIRB) and New Zealand Overseas Investment Office (OIO) approval.
US equity firm Hellman & Friedman is chaired by former Fairfax Media chairman Brian Powers. He is also a former chairman and MD of Consolidated Press in Australia.


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Coast Swimmer Rescued From Rip
Dangerous surf on the way
A swimmer has been rescued from a rip off North Avoca Beach this morning, ahead of dangerous surf lashing at the Central Coast tomorrow.
Police were called to the scene about 8:30, quickly engaging an on-call lifesaver who managed to reach the man with a jetski.
Ambulance Media has confirmed the man refused to be transported to hospital, despite advice, after suffering non-life threatening injuries.
It's understood he is a regular at the beach and an experienced swimmer.
The incident's prompted police to warn beach-goers and rock fishers to be careful around our waterways, particularly with hazardous surf on the cards for the Coast tomorrow.


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arcadeprehacks is the site you would probalbly want
this guy will make you protect the volcano
you defend by clicking the dark green space and on the top is has a weapon you want.click the
one you want.
and the after that oh and the lava peices you have to click on it its money
it will get harder you can upgrade by clickin the one you want to upgrade click the one on the top of
the place and it will upgrade
attack ok? don't trust her
just go on the same
obey her
fight on and do he same stuff
after a while you fight the boss and he dies later so now you are done with the game
basicly you are done then you are dissmissed


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36 Voyage Dr,
Glenmont, NY 12077
Pro-Kick Soccer Camp enters its 28th year in 2019 as one of the Capital District's highest quality soccer camps.
Pro-Kick provides skill instructions and tactical training for youth players ages 5 to 18. Camp sessions will be directed by Jeff Guinn, Head Men's Soccer Coach Union College. Director of Coaching Bethlehem Soccer Club and USSF "A" Licensed coach
The emphasis of the camp is on technique in a safe, fun, energetic atmosphere. Various small sided games are the cornerstone of the program.
Prokick offers both full day and half day options for male and female players age 5-15. The camp curriculum is developed by director Jeff Guinn, who has worked extensively with young players. Each group will have a challenging lesson plan appropriate to the age and skill level of players.
5 and 6 year old campers have separate age appropriate curriculum within each day camp. The half day option is strongly recommended for all 5 and 6 year old players
Is a demanding evening camp designed for players age 12 to 18. This camp is for serious players preparing for the fall school season. Technique, fitness and tactical awareness are focal points of the program.
All sessions are directed by Jeff Guinn, who has twenty years experience working with players of all ages.


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Telephone interview with Rosella Asbelle, Navy nurse at Pearl Harbor on 7 December 1941, and later assigned to Naval Hospital Oakland's Occupational Therapy Department with amputee patients during the Korean War. Conducted by Jan K. Herman, Historian, Bureau of Medicine and Surgery, 13 June 2002.
Where are you originally from?
I was born in Oklahoma but we came out to California when I was about 7 years old--a little town called Dinuba near Fresno.
Where did you go to nursing school?
I went to St. Mary's Hospital School of Nursing, San Francisco, CA.
And you were a Navy nurse.
I was very definitely a Navy nurse. I was at Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941.
What do you remember about that?
Everything. I saw Japanese planes coming over. They were so low, they were right on top of the building.
Then you knew Ruth Erickson.
We were all together. Ruth is a very knowledgeable person. I have all the addresses of the 29 Navy nurses who were at Pearl. We try to keep in touch with each other. I think there are about eight of us still living.
I remember vividly the planes flying over the buildings right next to the nurse's quarters. The nurse in the room next to me and I were looking out the window and she gasped, "Ahh, Rosella, it's war." I'll never forget that. The planes were just above the buildings. You could see the heads of the pilots.
Ruth Erickson told me that they were so close that if you had known who they were, you could have recognized them.
That's right. One came over the building so low, maybe at the height of a flagpole. You could see their heads. This grinning Japanese guy probably was thinking, "Boy, we've got you where we want you." I'll never forget that guy with the goggles and the smile on his face.
Did you have duty that morning?
It was 8 o'clock in the morning and I don't remember if I had duty that morning. But it didn't take long before the chief nurse called everybody over to the wards and casualties started coming in. And they continued coming in throughout the day. The heads or toilets were right outside the wards and there was a walkway between the ward and the head. The bodies were laid out like stacks of wood on that passageway connecting the ward and the toilet.
Did you work in the surgical area?
I was in the surgical ward and when they needed surgery they went to the operating room. Later on, I was transferred to the burn ward because there were so many people who were burned from the fires.
I read that you sprayed tannic acid on the burns.
That's right.
You must have seen some pretty horrible things that day.
It was really tragic. These kids were so young and so burned. I remember a radio blaring the song, "I Don't Want to Set the World On Fire," when some kid at the end of the ward yelled out, "Lady, you're too late. It's done been set." At that time, the wards had anywhere from 20 to 30 patients per ward. And I was on the burn ward. These kids were all lined up with tannic acid applications all over.
The saddest thing, though, was having night duty. That's when these severely burned kids would die. And you'd know when that was going to happen. Many a time, I'd sit by the bed of a young man, boy, who was burned, as he died talking about his family. It was generally about 4:30 or 5:30 in the morning when most of them went. You'd hold their hands and talk to them about their families.
That must have been terribly sad for you.
Yes. These kids were so young.
I'm sure that even if you don't remember everything that happened subsequently at Oakland, you'll probably never forget that day as long as you live.
I don't think anyone would.
We've previously posted Nurse Arbelle's entire oral history.


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Home > About Us > News & Media > La Invasora Radiothon Raises $142,380 for Trinity Mother Frances Hospitals and Clinics
Published on October 27, 2014
Thanks to generous support from the Hispanic community, La Invasora Radiothon, 96.7 and 92.3, part of the East Texas Radio Group, raised $142,380 for Mother Frances Hospital, the local Children's Miracle Network Hospital. Donations will fund critical equipment, services, and programs to save and improve the lives of kids in the East Texas area.
The two-day event took place October 23-24 and was hosted by Juan, Hector, Maria and Hugo. This was the station's 2nd year hosting a Radiothon, which was up from last year's total of $105,000.
"We are proud to host our second annual Radiothon in support of Children's Miracle Network," said Corinna Ruiz, General Manager of Sales for East Texas Radio Group. We are so grateful to the La Invasora family for their amazing support of the Radiothon."
The Radiothon program has been an integral part of Children's Miracle Network Hospitals' fundraising efforts since 1998. Today more than 300 stations participate in Radiothons annually, raising about $50 million for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals each year. Children's Miracle Network Hospitals Radiothons have raised more than $500 million in support of 170 children's hospitals across North America.
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Jen | Before Midnight
A (hopefully) safe space for yet another GR refugee.
4:00 pm 25 March 2013
Actual rating: 2.5 stars
A copy of this book was generously provided to me by the publisher via netgalley. All opinions herein are mine and were not influenced by the author or publisher in any way.
This book was definitely not for me. Maybe it's because I'm not in it's target audience. Certainly, had I read this book 10 years ago (I'm in my late 20's now), I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more. After sitting through countless critical reading courses and a few psychology courses (necessary for my degree 'n all), I can safely say that what would be an enjoyable read for a teen turned into a nightmare for an adult.
First, however, let's talk about what I did like.
I absolutely love the adults. I felt horribly sorry for both Roxie and Lonnie Kraft. Roxie, because she got the short end of the stick, so to speak, after she got pregnant with Maggie. Her parents died, her former boyfriend (Lonnie) ended up in the pen for killing his mother, and she was stuck in a loveless marriage with someone 30+ years her senior, all so she could provide for a baby she wasn't ready to have. I felt immensely sorry for her and her situation, and in a weird, disconnected way, for Maggie, because she just doesn't know.
I actually really liked Dr. Scott, too. Maggie spends a lot of time crushing on him, but once you actually ignore her blather about marrying him and adding feminine touches to his house (like curtains), he's actually not that bad a guy. He even -gasp- calls her out on lying blatantly to him. It was at this point in the novel that I thought maybe I could take some of it seriously, but definitely not all of it.
Shimko's writing flows well, also. While there's a bit of a disconnect between Maggie, who is our (definitely) unreliable narrator, and the reader, Shimko writes Maggie's views well and doesn't hold back.
But that's about as far as the things I liked goes. So let's talk about the things I didn't like, because it's actually only a couple of things, but for me, they're major.
At one point in the novel, Maggie goes out on a date with this guy from school, Jacob, who proceeds to feel her up in the back of the movie theater, and has the nerve to get mad when she tells him 'no'. (Personal opinion time: I actually like sitting in the back of the theater for reasons unrelated to getting felt up, which includes no children as well as an ability to see the screen better.) Maggie complains to her friend, Abigail, who's been reading a bunch of those teen mags that actually have really terrible advice. Abigail proceeds to tell Maggie that she "asked for it" (in other words, of course, but that phrase stands). Actually, what she said can't be paraphrased. Here it is:
"Well, no wonder. You
sit in the
row unless you mean business. It gives a guy permission to do whatever he wants." ... "Whatever Jacob did isn't his fault. You gave him mixed signals." (p 128 from the digital ARC)
Um, no. No, Abigail, it doesn't. This is victim-blaming in the worst way. At best, Abigail has been lead to believe this by her teen mags (like Cosmo and Redbook, which give ok hair tips, but nothing else worth reading, especially articles related to anything relationship or sex); at worst, Abigail has been lead to believe this by her parents, friends, and anyone else that keeps telling her that. But what bugs me is that no one bothers to correct her. No one says, "It's really not your fault, Maggie." No one tells Abigail it's "not her fault", either, when she has her own boy-related issues later in the novel.
The victim-blaming doesn't fly with me, at all, and it's a subject that has to be touched carefully in books. I don't mind it when it's utilized well and ends up actually having a happy ending, but perpetuating the cycle is a sore spot for me, even as someone who's never been a victim.
Another thing I couldn't stand was Maggie's treatment of pretty much everyone around her, with the exception of her dog. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept of friendship, or family. She constantly thinks badly of everyone around her (including going so far as to call someone she doesn't even know a "slut", just to appease Abigail, only to deny friendship with Abigail). She calls Abigail "frog face" because she wears a retainer at the beginning of the novel. She constantly refers to Roxie as being "easy" (mostly because she doesn't know Roxie's story with Lonnie, and she is constantly fueled by rumors floating around her small town about Roxie, but she doesn't bother digging for the truth, and when it finally comes out, she still refers to Roxie as easy.)
Maggie as a character bothered me, truthfully. I don't really know where the author was going with her as a character, if she intended for her to be experiencing symptoms of schitzophrenia, or if it was something else entirely. Nothing much actually happens in the book except Maggie goes around killing people, and cleaning up after herself. So here's the thing: if this is supposed to be Maggie experiencing what would later be diagnosed as schitzophrenic symptoms (not necessarly the disorder itself, but she does display auditory hallucinations), I have a hard time believing it. If, on the other hand, it's intended as a commentary on the human condition (or just the teenage condition) and the nature of good and evil, it's a big bogged down in all the teenage melodrama.
But what bugged me the most? I felt like there was no plot. Oh, sure things happened. But to what end? I felt like it wasn't a complete story--I was left reading what was 5 of 6 total chapters, and the last one happened to be lost somewhere. Nothing happens to Maggie. At least two (possibly three) people know she's killed someone, and no one does anything about it. Yes, she's killed bad people. But the vigilante angle that Maggie tries to work doesn't do so well, and I find it hard to believe that cops aren't suspicious of (at least) three deaths in such a small period of time in a small town. Really, I wanted Maggie to be caught. I wanted the story to come full circle, and at least have closure, but I, as a reader, was denied.
So over-all, I'm actually fence-sitting almost exactly half-way between liking it and not liking it. As I said before, if I'd been 10 years younger, I'd probably have really enjoyed it. But as an adult? Not so much. Definitely recommending to teens who want a quick read that's different from normal faire.
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