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Qwag has a variety of items to buy from the fairs we attend. If interested in buying, please email us.
The Quaggy River and its Catchment Area by Ken White
In his charmingly handwritten and illustrated book, historian and QWAG member, Ken White, says 'The name Quaggy as referring to the whole river seems to be modern usage, local names are given in the past, if indeed with a name at all.'
5 Notecards made from paintings by the artist, Stephen Chaplin
gloss finish with envelopes
Size of Notecards – 15cm x 10cm
Size of Envelope – 16cm x 11cm
Price of Notecards – £7.50p + postage (Pack of all five paintings)
-£1.70p + postage (Single Card)
Notecard 1
The River Quaggy by the bridge on Weardale Road, Lewisham
Site drawing: 14th January 2014
Medium: Acrylic finished in oil
Notecard 2
Chinbrook Meadows – The River Quaggy exiting from the culvert tunnel beneath the railway to Elmstead Woods
Site drawing: 30th November 2013
Medium: Acrylic finished in oil (detail)
Notecard 3
Sutcliffe Park, Eltham, Floods 2014
Site drawing: 4th February 2014
Medium: Acrylic and touches of oil finish
Notecard 4
The River Quaggy and River Ravensbourne Confluence by Lewisham Railway Station (this view has now been changed forever in the redevelopment of NEW Lewisham)
Site drawing: 30th November 2013
Medium: Acrylic
Notecard 5
Bridge to Brightfield Road from Manor House Gardens, Lee, London SE12
Site drawing: 1st March 2014
Medium: Acrylic
The Artist – Stephen Chaplin
Stephen was born in Greenwich in 1934. While he was young he lived in Bromley, Kent, and a tributary of the River Ravensbourne ran through his parents' garden.
He attended St. Dunstan's College in Catford, then studied at the Slade School of Art in London. He taught art history at Leeds University from 1966 to 1990. He then returned to London and worked as an Archivist at the Slade School of Art.
Stephen has worked widely on projects with hospitals and local authority art galleries. He presently has an exhibition of paintings at Lewisham Hospital where he has drawn scenes from the route of his father's walk to school from near Loampit Hill to Catford Bridge.
Stephen has kept a diary of his paintings since the 1970s and has been drawing since early childhood.
His paintings and sketches have been described by some people as "magic realism".
View more of his work here.


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Arsene Wenger says Champions League spot vital for Arsenal
- From the section Football
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger said reaching next season's Champions League was vital for his club's ability to attract top players.
Laurent Koscielny's solitary goal earned the Gunners a 1-0 victory over Newcastle to finish fourth in the Premier League.
Wenger said: "Qualification means it is easier to bring in players when we have a chance to be in the Champions League.
"In the last three months, we have been remarkably consistent."
Wenger will have increased money available this summer and he said the allure of Europe's top competition would give his side an added advantage to build on what he already calls an "exceptional" squad.
"We need stability and strength in our group, because there are many clubs out there with a lot of money," said the Frenchman. "The competition is very hard and there is not as much talent as there is money today in football."
Wenger praised his side's attitude after winning eight of their last 10 Premier League games. They had been seven points behind Spurs after losing to their arch-rivals on 3 March.
And the Gunners boss pin-pointed his side's Champions League victory over eventual finalists Bayern Munich 10 days later as a turning point in a sometimes "stormy" season.
The team were knocked out of the League Cup by League Two side Bradford, lost in the FA Cup to Blackburn and were outplayed in the home leg of the Champions League fixture against Bayern before they won in Germany.
Since the Bayern victory, though, Arsenal have won all five of their remaining away Premier League games, matching a run which was last set in 2004.
Wenger added: "I'm happy because the exceptional attitude and determination from the players has been rewarded.
"They continued to believe when we were seven points behind Tottenham in March. We had no room for error and you could never see any sign of the players giving in.
"We had some big lows with Bradford, with Blackburn, with Bayern at home, and never could you see the players dismantle or that the group was not united - and that's not easy in the modern game.
"Since the first of February we have taken more points than anybody else in the Premier League and I don't believe that's just a coincidence but the fact that the team has grown through the season.
"We lacked belief for a long period because we couldn't win a big game, but the Bayern game changed our season away from home."


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Best partner for bride in wedding
Wedding in addition to the bride and groom is leading role, should never be ignored the "supporting" bridesmaid and best man, the wedding bridesmaid and best man pick the dress is to pay attention to the principle of, can't let them dress is too bright, also can't "beyond" the bride and groom is dressed up, in conclusion, roughly is showily and not make public, happy and full of kindness, this is the dress bridesmaid and best man wore basic principles.
A-Line Princess V-Neck Tea-Length Ruffle Bridesmaid Dress
Style: low-key elegant
Showily and not make public, decent, happy with the design of kindness, overall bridesmaid dresses and the bride's wedding dress in style, harmony, this is the basic principle of bridesmaid dresses in. Charming is spruce strapless dress is exquisite and mellow, of the type that wipe a bosom a ribbon around his waist, or three layer under the ribbon drape skirt is popular this maid of honor dress up. If during the winter months in May wish to pick a long gown, solemn atmosphere; If in the spring and summer, still can choose low digging chest dress, skirt lined with pink satin, the outside on several thin layers of yarn. The foggy gauze also can be applied to sky blue long tail or short dress, have seemingly quite pure crystal, smooth add a few minutes lively and innocent at the same time.
Sheath Column Strapless Satin Bridesmaid Gown By Dressforau.com
Color: pink gold wind
Pure belong to the bride, the conventional color is pink for the maid of honor this partner. But this year we can abandon the common pink formal suit, powder blue, green, champagne gold colour is not only suitable for the identity of the maid of honor, can reflect young women and perfect skin. If there are multiple bridesmaids, can also wear the same color but different style dress, all the bridesmaid dresses don't have to be strict, this will make everyone look very beautiful and not constrained.
Off The Shoulder Chiffon Floor Length Bridesmaid Dress Australia
Fabric: light rose
In addition to the color, fabric and clipping detail is the key of the modelling, the elegant richly velvet cloth, elegant and gorgeous chiffon, romantic classic lace, or sending out luster, compose feels dye-in-the-wood satin material, elegant and fit clipping, can foil a bridesmaid and graceful lightsome, charismatic, confident. And silks and satins always is the first selection woolen fabric that makes the, the simple sense of smooth silk can sparkle below banquet lamplight shine, there is costly feeling quite on the vision. Besides silk beauty properly, full of bright lustre besides the ray and not make public, not upstage cover, as well as reveal the beauty of the image of the bridesmaid makeup is not suitable for heavy, and the collocation of jewelry don't show off, too bling.


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Owner: Caridad (La China) 268 visits
Booking Details Recommend Reviews Make a review
Apartments for rent in Varadero, #213 street 26 between 2nd and 3rd avenue. Located 125 metres from Varadero beach, close to stores, medical clinic, ice cream shop and bakery. Apartments have living area, small kitchen area, TVs, private bathroom and 1 or 2 beds. Private entrance to the apartments, small pool and a garage is also available if you have a car. Prices start at $35/night per room (please inquire for specific pricing as it varies depending on time of year and availability).Daily cleaning. Breakfast and dinner at an affordable price. Laundry and taxi service also available at extra cost.
Nearby places
125 metres from Varadero beach, stores, medical clinic, ice cream shop and bakery
Location: Varadero
Type of location: Beach - Sea |Turistic
Casa style: Modern / Independent entrance
Rooms: 2
Rate per room per night (LS) / (HS): 35 | 40 cuc
Features, services and local area facilities
Swimming Pool | Air conditioning | Hot & Cold water | TV | Freezer | Terrace | Garage/Parking
Electricity 110v & 220v | Breakfast is offered | Lunch is offered | Dinner is offered | Laundry service | Preparation of drinks | Bicycle rental | Kitchen available


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The Colt .38 was made in May 1929, just months after the gangster ordered the murder of seven of his rivals in the St Valentine's Day Massacre.
It is being sold by a private collector and comes with a letter signed by Capone's sister-in-law confirming its authenticity.
The New York-born mobster, who was known as Scarface, dominated the Chicago underworld during prohibition until his 1931 arrest for tax evasion. He died in 1947.
Also included in the June 22 sale is a gun belonging to American outlaw Thomas Coleman ''Cole'' Younger who was a member of the James gang with brothers Frank and Jesse James.
It is expected to sell for as much as £85,000.


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Fans waiting for the DC superhero team-up film tentatively titled Batman vs Superman will have to be patient, as Warner Bros has announced that the film has been pushed back by a full 10 months.
Instead of its original release date of 17 July 2015, the film is now slated for a 6 May 2016 release.
Although the studio says the delay is to give them "more time to realise the maker's vision", rumours indicate that there may be more to the story.
According to a report in Batman-news.com, actor Ben Affleck (who plays Batman in the film) sustained a leg injury during a skiing accident at Christmas. As a result, production was pushed back six weeks. Other rumours claim that Affleck injured his ribs, not his leg. It is unclear as to how serious the injury is but it is clearly enough to keep him away from the cameras.
The new release date is aorund the same weekend that competing film studio Marvel (Iron Man, The Avengers) has marked down on its calendar for an untitled film. This could lead to the two studios' superheroes doing real battle for the public's money.
"It's a bold move on Warner Bros. part and possibly an introduction to a game of chicken between the studios, but it's also possible that there are dealings going on behind the scenes that suggest Marvel is already looking at a different release date for their first 2016 film," states a Cinema Blend report.
Apart from Affleck, Batman vs Superman stars Henry Cavill (reprising his role as Superman) and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. The film is helmed by director Zack Snyder (Man of Steel, 300).


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Protests in Ukraine continue
Dec. 20 - Kiev protesters continue their demonstration against President Yanukovich. Rough Cut (no reporter narration).
Anti-government protesters in Ukraine remained defiant on Friday (December 20) continuing to camp on Kiev's Independence Square, almost four weeks after demonstrations against President Viktor Yanukovich first began. Hundreds of protesters spent a further night sleeping in tents through the cold winter night, and spending their morning keeping warm by fires and preparing food as light snow began to fall. Many of them took part in a religious service conducted from the stage and then stood to sing the country's national anthem, something which many have done on the hour, every hour, during the last few weeks. In recent days Christmas trees have been set up throughout the encampment as the festive holiday approaches. Protests began in November when people were angered by the decision of President Viktor Yanukovich to move away from a trade and association agreement with the European Union in favour of closer ties with Europe.


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GRAPE CREEK, TEXAS (Tom Green County). Grape Creek is on Grape Creek just north of U.S. Highway 87 and the Gulf, Colorado and Santa Fe Railway in north central Tom Green County. It was founded before 1900. In 1901 the community had a school for twenty-six pupils and one teacher, and by 1934 it had three elementary schools and a high school. State highway maps in 1936 showed the school, a church, a nearby cemetery, and scattered dwellings in the community. By the 1980s the Grape Creek-Pulliam School was in operation, and the area had become the site of a new subdivision known as Grape Creek Community. In 2000 the population was 3,138.
BIBLIOGRAPHY:Julia Grace Bitner, The History of Tom Green County, Texas (M.A. thesis, University of Texas, 1931). Clarence George Parsons, Proposed Plan for the Reorganization of the Schools in Tom Green County, Texas (M.A. thesis, University of Texas, 1939).
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The following, adapted from the Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition, is the preferred citation for this article.Handbook of Texas Online, Diana J. Kleiner, "GRAPE CREEK, TX (TOM GREEN COUNTY)," accessed May 21, 2019, http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/hrg45.
Uploaded on June 15, 2010. Published by the Texas State Historical Association.
For more information about towns and counties including physical features, statistics, weather, maps and much more, visit the Town Database on TexasAlmanac.com!
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The Athena Film Festival depends on the support of our community, attendees, and volunteers. From individual and in-kind donors, to corporate sponsors to volunteers, we appreciate everyone's commitment to the mission of our festival – celebrating women's leadership on and off the screen.
There are multiple ways to become involved:
- Become a Sponsor – To find out more about Sponsors, click here.
- Become an Organizational Partner – help us spread the word about the Festival and films of interest to a wide range of audiences.
Volunteer – sign up and join our Festival Team!


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We would urge you to be honest and frank with us regarding any medical matters relating to your child. The school does not have access to your child's medical records and so please inform your child's teacher or the school office of any medical condition or history which might in any way affect any aspect of their education.
Please do not send your child to school if he or she is unwell at the start of the day or not fully recovered from an illness. If it is necessary to exclude a child from P.E. because of some injury please inform the Headteacher in writing. A detailed policy on the administration of medicines.


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How Just Mortgage Brokers Can Help You
While being your own boss is undoubtedly one of the biggest perks of working as a contractor, there are also a number of disadvantages you have to consider before deciding to go it alone. One of the largest problems can often be the difficulty in gaining a contractor mortgage. Thankfully, for most these days, this is a thing of the past.
Self Employed Mortgage Calculator
Fill out the few details below to see how we could help you achieve a mortgage
What are contractor mortgages?
These mortgages are products designed to meet the specific needs of contractors. As pay is typically based on a daily or weekly rate, in many cases they do not have a yearly salary or the 3 years of accounts some mortgage providers ask to see. Instead, specialist mortgages for contractors allow you to borrow money based purely on your contract rate. If your credit rating is fine and you fall into the low-risk category, you should be able to borrow at the same rate of interest as a PAYE employee.
Do I need 3 years of accounts to get a contractor mortgage?
No. For the last couple of years, contractors have been able to get a mortgage without producing 3 years of accounts. Although every lender will have their own criteria which dictates who they lend to and what they need to see, most specialist lenders will be happy to arrange a mortgage based on the contract you have now, rather than past performance.
Will I need a big deposit?
The average deposit for contractor mortgages is between 10 and 25 percent, which is similar to that of a PAYE employee.
How competitive are the rates?
The interest you'll pay on mortgages for contractors should be very similar to a PAYE employee in the same circumstances. In many cases, the generous rates of pay for those working on contracts allow them to save larger deposits than employees. These substantial deposits then lower the interest rate and reduce the cost of the loan. There are also no limitations on the type of mortgage contractors can access, with fixed, variable and tracker rates all available.
How can we help?
Competitively priced mortgages for contractors have traditionally been difficult to find. At Just Mortgage Brokers, we specialise in niche financial services like mortgages for contractors and know exactly which lenders to approach to find the right deal. This intricate knowledge of the market means we can secure a competitively priced contractor mortgage where others have failed before.


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For press information, please contact:
Jose Monterrosa
East End Houston is a vibrant international business district rich in diversity and bursting with residential and commercial development. Strategically located between the Port of Houston, downtown Houston and Hobby Airport; we are blossoming with a dedicated professional and semi-skilled workforce, the community is a magnet for growth! With over 250 available acres of land to build, including the recently purchased KBR property along the Buffalo Bayou, East End Houston is at a tipping point for transition.


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Growing up in Oklahoma, both Disneyland and Disney World were too far away to visit for my family. We went on family vacations, but to less kid-centered destinations. I was always jealous of those who got to see the Magic Castle in person.
Once I moved to Southern California, I avoided the call of Disneyland, even though many insisted to me that it was a fun place to see, even without kids. I think I just didn't want to ruin what my childhood self had built up in my head. Once I became a parent, though, I knew that it was something I could experience with my daughter and see it with those same innocent eyes.
We didn't make any arrangements in advance. We bought the tickets on our way into the park. I asked a few friends what to expect, but ultimately we just decided to wing it on a Friday in October.
I admit that I cried. Twice. As we walked through the big gates and the pink castle came into sight, then immediately Mickey and his welcome band greeted us, my mouth was as agape as my daughter's. My husband, who had visited as a child, remarked how small everything seems when you're older. But to me, the kid-sized everything was part of what made it perfect.
It was an off-season day, so there were fairly short lines and the day was breezy. We rode the first two things we came upon: Dumbo and then the tea cups. Classics. I ignored the lump in my throat when, at 33-years-old, I finally climbed into the spinning tea cups.
We ate lunch outside and had ice cream next to the pirate ship. We lucked out and ended up first in line for It's a Small World, a floating hypnotic journey through tunnels of happiness. Okay, so maybe I cried three times.
In the late afternoon, just when we were beginning to wind down, we lined up for the big parade. There were drummers and dancers and all the best Disney characters. As the floats rolled by, and my daughter bounced up and down at each princess that looked her way, I knew exactly why Disneyland is called magical. 'Cause it is.
More about family
Throw Momma from the minivan!
How to handle tweens with attitude
5 Steps to being a great mom


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Footscray, Victoria
Footscray is an inner-western suburb (neighbourhood) of Melbourne, Australia, 5 km from Melbourne's Central Business District. Its local government area is the City of Maribyrnong. At the 2016 census, Footscray had a population of 16,345.[1]
Melbourne, Victoria
Paisley Street in central Footscray
|37°47′53″S 144°53′56″E / 37.798°S 144.899°ECoordinates: 37°47′53″S 144°53′56″E / 37.798°S 144.899°E
|16,345 (2016 census)[1]
|• Density
|3,300/km2 (8,500/sq mi)
|5 km2 (1.9 sq mi)
|5 km (3 mi) from Melbourne
|City of Maribyrnong
|State electorate(s)
|Federal Division(s)
Footscray is characterised by a very diverse, multicultural central shopping area, which reflects the successive waves of immigration experienced by Melbourne, and by Footscray in particular. Once a centre for Greek, Italian and former Yugoslavian migrants, it later became a hub for Vietnamese and East African immigrants in Melbourne. It has recently begun to undergo rapid development and gentrification.[2]
Footscray is named after Foots Cray, on the River Cray in London, England.[3]
Footscray is part of the City of Maribyrnong and was built largely on the traditional lands of the Kulin nation.[4]
For thousands of years, Footscray was the meeting place of the lands of the Yalukit-willan, the Marin-balluk and the Wurundjeri. Koories stalked game, collected food and fished along the river junction, estuaries, swamps and lagoons. Within Melbourne's western region, the Marin-balug and Kurung-jand-balug clans of the Woiwurrung cultural group, and the Yalukit willam clan of the Boonwurrung cultural group shared the luscious resources around the Maribyrnong Valley.[5]
The first European to visit the area was Charles Grimes in 1803. A park, where he landed, is named after him at Napier St.[6]
In 1839 a punt was built on the Maribyrnong River, it was the only connecting link between Melbourne and Geelong, Ballarat, Castlemaine and Bendigo. The Punt Hotel opened three years later and was the first building in the area. During the first decade drovers transporting cattle and sheep provided the only business at the hotel. After 1851, when gold was discovered out west, the pub did a roaring trade with diggers. Part of the old pub still stands and it has been renamed The Pioneer. (Ref: Charlie Lovett's Footscray)
The Post Office first opened on 12 October 1857.[7]
Footscray was declared a municipality in 1859 with a population of 300 and 70 buildings. Around the same year the first bridge was built across Saltwater (now Maribyrnong) River. (Ref: Charlie Lovett's Footscray)
Between 1881 and 1891 Footscray's population more than tripled from almost 6,000 to 19,000. (Ref: Charlie Lovett's Footscray)
Footscray developed into an industrial zone in the second half of the nineteenth century, with the manufacturing industry beginning to decline in the 1960s and 70s.[6]
Footscray was home to the Aboriginal Woimurrung and Boonwurrung tribes of the Kulin nation.[8]
In 2011, Footscray's 13,193 residents[9] came from 135 countries.[10]
In 2006 less than half the population (41.1%) was born in Australia,[11] the main countries of overseas origin are Vietnam, China, India, United Kingdom and Italy. In the 21st Century, Maribyrnong of which Footscray is a part, saw a major increase in residents from Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Myanmar, including a large proportion of refugees.[12]
Footscray has Victoria's fourth-highest proportion of residents born in South-East Asia (13.9%).[13]
The average person in Footscray is 33 years of age.[14]
Maribyrnong Council predicts a population boom will more than double Footscray resident numbers from 14,100 to 30,500 by 2031, requiring about 7000 new dwellings.[15]
Footscray falls within the federal electorate of Gellibrand (currently held by Tim Watts from the ALP) and the state electorate of Footscray (currently held by the ALP's Katie Hall), and the City of Maribyrnong at local level (currently controlled by four independents). The suburb's historical voting patterns have been fairly typical of a working-class suburb with a high migrant population. Footscray is a very safe state ALP seat, 65% of the vote went to Labor at the 2014 State election.[16]
Consistent with other inner-city electorates in Melbourne, and other state capitals, voter support for the Australian Greens has increased in recent years; the Greens received 17 per cent of the primary vote in Footscray at the 2014 State Election.[16] One third of voters at the Central Footscray booth voted for the Australian Greens in the 2010 Federal election, almost doubling the Greens vote in one election cycle.[17]
For the first time in over 100 years, Maribyrnong Council is no longer under Labor control. In 2012 voters elected four Independent Councillors and three Labor councillors. Catherine Cummings is the Mayor for 2012–13.[18]
At the Federal Election of 2010, the ALP won Gellibrand, which includes Footscray, with 59% of the vote. The Lib/Nat parties got 23%, whilst The Greens saw a swing of +6% with 15% of the vote.[19]
Janet Rice of The Greens was elected to Maribyrnong Council in 2003, re-elected in 2005 and then elected Mayor in 2006.[20] Whilst Mayor, Janet had a Mayoral bike instead of a car.[21]
The first Vietnamese woman Mayor was Mai Ho, from 1997 to 1998.[22] Mai Ho arrived in Australia in December 1982 with two small daughters and sixteen dollars. By 1997 she was Mayor of Maribyrnong. Twelve months later her daughter, Tan Le, was voted Young Australian of the Year.[23]
There are over 130 restaurants in Footscray, including; 30 Vietnamese, 20 Indian, 17 Chinese and several; African, Australian, Indonesian, Italian, Thai, Turkish and Japanese. Footscray also has one each of the following restaurants; Croatian, Korean, Malaysian and Portuguese.[24] Subway and Nandos are the only multi-national corporate food outlets in central Footscray.
Notable restaurants include the award-winning Station Hotel which was winner of radio 3AW's "Pub of the Year".[25]
The Footscray Market is a large indoor fresh produce and seafood market, with 33 food stalls and 50 general stalls,[26] catering particularly to the various ethnicities and local restaurants. It is located opposite Footscray railway station.
The Melbourne Wholesale Market on Footscray Road (often referred to as the Footscray Traders Market) moved to Epping in 2015.[27]
Another large market in Footscray was Little Saigon, which opened in 1992 to cater to the Asian population growth, but had customers from all backgrounds. Little Saigon was noisy and crowded, with a wide array of tropical fruits and Asian produce. However, this market was destroyed in a large fire on 13 December 2016, with more than $12 million worth of damage. However, there are plans to rebuild the market.[28]
Footscray has some fine 1930s Art Deco buildings, most in disrepair and hidden behind shop signs and awnings.[29]
The former Footscray Town Hall is the only American Romanesque civic building in Victoria. The outside is a mix of Art Deco, Moderne, Celtic, Spanish and Medieval.[30]
Footscray Park is one of the largest and most intact examples of an Edwardian park in Australia; characteristic features include rustic stonework, ornamental ponds and extensive use of palms. The 15-hectare park is classified as a heritage place on the Victorian Heritage Register.[31] The 'heavily indebted'[32] local Council approved a 1.8 million makeover for the park in March 2011.[33]
In popular cultureEdit
Footscray has been the setting of several Australian movies.
In 1992, the film Romper Stomper was set in and filmed in and around Footscray. It deals with a fictional gang of neo-Nazi skinheads and their battle against Vietnamese immigrants. Not all scenes were filmed locally: the "Footscray Railway Station" featured in the movie has a pedestrian underpass, while the real station has an overpass for foot traffic; the actual station used for filming was Richmond Station.
The 1994 film Metal Skin and the 2015 film Pawno are also set in and around Footscray.
The song Footscray Station by Melbourne band Camp Cope is about Footscray, where the lead singer and guitarist Georgia Maq is from.
Asylum Seeker Resource Centre, gives aid, welfare and medical care for thousands of asylum seekers. 218 Nicholson St Footscray.
The Australian Croatian Association headquarters is located in Footscray, serving the large Croatian Community in the area. Other Ethnic Community, Migrants and Refugees groups include African, Albanian, Burmese, Chinese, Croatian or Bosnian, Ethiopian, Filipino, Greek, Harari, Hungarian, Italian, Macedonian, Multicultural, Polish, Russian, Spanish and Latin American, Sudanese, Vietnamese.[34]
The Footscray Club is a social club that has been part of Footscray since 1894. This was the original Footscray Cycle Club, when cycling became quite popular in Australia in the 19th century. By 1909 the club had built a permanent site on Paisley Street where it still stands today. Early in the last century the club evolved into a purely local social club where members of the local community meet and socialize to this day.
The Footscray Historical Society works on a number of local fronts to record and preserve the history of the area. The Society has an active membership who take part in a range of activities to assist this endeavour. Records such as rare books, business records and correspondence are held at the Society's headquarters at Ercildoune, built in 1876 as a branch of the National Bank of Australasia. The Society owns this historic building and has had the interior and exterior restored. Tours, forums and discussions are held regularly.
Footscray is at the centre of the Kariwara Scout district of Scouts Australia. The word 'Kariwara' means 'West' in a local Aboriginal dialect.[35] Started in 1909, the 1st Footscray Scout hall is a historic building next to the Footscray Police Station in Hyde Street. 3rd Footscray is the hall seen from the railway line and no longer has youth programs but is home to adult training. The 2nd Footscray Scout hall has a modern brick hall after the first hall burnt down in 1982. The group has programs for children aged 7 to 26 and meets at Guadion Park in Barkly Street. The 10th Footscray Scout group is in Essex Street next to the YMCA and has programs for 7 to 15-year olds. The 5th Footscray group is opposite Seddon railway station and has programs for 6 to 15-year olds. All are part of Scouts Australia.
Maribyrnong Truck Action Group and Less Trucks For Moore work towards cleaning the air in Footscray and surrounding suburbs.
Other groups include; Footscray Traders Association, Footscray Asian Business Association, Save Railway Place, Footscray Sings Fair Go for Footscray Rail Residents and Footscray Rotary.
Albright Performers dance studio is on Hyde St and has been running for over 70 years, it teaches all ages and levels. Classes are held in Classical Ballet, Jazz Ballet, Hip Hop, Contemporary dance, Tap Dance, Musical Theatre and Acrobatics. CSTD examinations and competitions.
Company of Others Inc a not-for-profit group conducting body, breath and voice projects.
Ruffian Gallery operates at 361 Barkly Street.[36]
In 2013 the City of Maribyrnong ran a competition for a $170,000 public art installation,[37] the winner features massive rock boulders which form a circle across roads at the southern end of the Footscray Mall. The work was installed June 2013.[38]
The Dog Theatre opened in September 2008. It is one of the first site specific company/venues in Australia![39] and was the "Winner of Best Venue: Melbourne Fringe Festival Awards 2009". The venue has a funky cafe with well made coffee, snacks and cool seating under the shade of a huge willow tree. As of 2011, The Dog Theatre is no longer in residence at Albert Street, and now moves all over the western suburbs of Melbourne.[39]
Elite Crete Australia holds classes, seminars and workshops for concrete artistry, located adjacent to the Footscray Community Arts Centre, on a monthly bases.
Located on the bank of the Maribyrnong River, Footscray Community Arts Centre (FCAC) is a centre for contemporary arts, community engagement, cultural development and multicultural arts. Since its establishment in 1974, it is estimated that over 2 million community members have visited FCAC or directly participated in one or more of its many events, initiatives, projects, workshops and programs. Footscray Community Arts Centre's projects have toured nationally and internationally. FCAC aims to contribute to the transformation of contemporary Australian culture and the ongoing, dynamic debate about the place of 'art' in society.
Integrate Stretch – Workshops in movement and performance.
NICA Circus – Circus workshops for 7 – 16 yr olds including acrobatics, juggling, stilt walking, balancing and rope work, with artists from the National Institute of Circus Arts.
Phoenix Youth Theatre,[40] opened in 2014 at Phoenix Youth Centre, 72 Buckley St, Footscray.
The historic 'Footscray Drill Hall' is home to the avant garde Snuff Puppets. Their performances, often with taboo subject matter, combine larger than life puppetry with physical theatre. Snuff Puppets have toured the world, with shows and workshops throughout Australasia, Asia, Europe and South America. Snuff Puppets have been part of Footscray since 1992.
The Trocadero Art Space is located on Hopkins Street, in Footscray's heart. It comprises both interior and outdoor (street-exposed) exhibition spaces.
Ward Acting Studio – where actors abandon outdated and overly analytical acting techniques – 91 Moreland St
wit incorporated, Artist in Residence at Bluestone Church Arts Space 2016 and 2017, is currently the only professional theatre company based in and creating art exclusively in City of Maribyrnong. The company's mission is, "To create accessible, sustainable theatre." wit incorporated was founded in 2014 by local actors Jennifer Piper and Belinda Campbell.
With One Voice Footscray - You don't have to be a great singer to join. Singing every Thursday 6pm at the African Australian Community Centre, Red Brick Hall (behind the Bluestone Hall), 30a Pickett Street, Footscray
Women's Circus – A community arts and physical theatre company, using circuses as a tool for social change.
Fresh Student Media calls Footscray home with their radio studios being at VU at MetroWest which they broadcast since they started on 27 February 2017 at 9am. Fresh also does television production and online journalism media that serves all of Melbourne too. [41]
Footscray has a rich history of music and brass bands, currently being home to the Footscray-Yarraville City Band – FYCB, which rehearses weekly and performs throughout the year locally, nationally and internationally. The FYCB conduct an annual Carols by Candlelight event each December in the Yarraville Gardens. They were the 2010 VBL State Champions.[42]
The Hyde Street Youth Band.[43] was established in 1928. The Hyde Street Youth Band contributed to the history of the region as the band played the official theme song for the Footscray Football Club (now the Western Bulldogs) while they were playing at the Whitten Oval. The FYCB is one of five A-Grade Brass bands in Victoria and has been successful in the National Championships.
JABULA! – An African Community Choir, and is run by Sudanese singer Ajak Kwai and percussionist Tawanda Gadzikwa. The choir brings together people from broad skill levels and diverse African heritages. The choir meets fortnightly on Saturdays at the Footscray Community Arts Centre.
Emerge in the West May 17, 2015 in the City of Maribyrnong reveals emerging African arts, culture and small businesses that have been growing rapidly in Melbourne's West, marking the start of the week long Africa Day Celebrations in Melbourne.
Founded in 2011, this annual 'Emerge' event is an outcome of MAV's CCD program for emerging and refugee artists and communities, triggering the founding of the Australian-African Small Business Association in 2014 to represent the growing number of African restaurants and cafes in Melbourne's West.
The St Jerome's Laneway Festival is an annual block party held in partnership with the Footscray Community Arts Centre. 15,000 enjoyed the festival in 2015.[44]
The Western Bulldogs Community Festival and Family Day is held every summer on Whitten Oval.
Central Footscray Streets are closed for the all-day-long Chinese New Year celebrations organised by the Footscray Asian Business Association (FABA). The Quang Minh Tet Festival celebrations in neighbouring Braybrook were expanded.[45]
The Big West started in 1997 under the name MAP (Maribyrnong Arts Project), it continued for two decades. In 2011 it was attended by over 37,000 people.[citation needed] The last Big West Festival was in November 2015. In July 2016 the Big West board announced a plan to destroy Big West. The local arts community then set up the Save Big West group.
Town planningEdit
The 'Liveable Melbourne' 2011 survey listed Footscray as the 37th-most-liveable suburb in Melbourne.[46]
In 2008, the State Labor Government designated Footscray as one of six Central Activities Districts.[47] Melbourne's CADs were given planning rules aimed at creating lively mixed use CBD-like districts.[48] The area, according to the local Mayor 'would soon have the second-highest skyline outside the Melbourne CBD'.[49]
Local Footscray real estate agent Darren Dean of Sweeney Estate Agents said one pocket of Footscray – bounded by Geelong Road, Ballarat Road, Victoria Street, the railway line and Moore Street – had been intended for "a mini Manhattan".[50]
"There are cranes popping up in the skyline everywhere over here," he said.
Examples of the changing face of Footscray include:
- In 2014, the Liberal State Planning Minister approved a 28-story tower that will overshadow the Maribyrnong River in Footscray.[51]
- Nearly 9,000 additional dwellings where built in Footscray between 2006 and 2011.[52]
- Grocon opened the $350 million 'McNab Avenue Development' with residential apartments, Government and commercial offices in 2014.[53]
- The Banco Group turned the Footscray Plaza into a $45 million apartment block of ten stories, with the old retail space expanded. The property falls within the Priority Development Zone so there were no rights to community consultation.[54]
- As part of the Footscray City Edge master plan, Maribyrnong Council planned to turn the Paisley Street carpark into a park.[55]
- In 2012, a $500million high-density residential and commercial development was approved for over the railway tracks near Footscray Station.[56]
- In 2011, the iconic Little Saigon market was approved for a $70 million redevelopment with twin towers, holding 260 apartments and sky gardens.[57]
- The 15-hectare 'Joseph Road Precinct' was approved for higher-density residential development in 2009.[58] The tallest building approved for the area is a $90 million, 25-story apartment block with 222 apartments, construction is due to finish in 2013.[59]
- A new $6 billion suburb called E-Gate in West Melbourne has been proposed by the state government on a 20-hectare site along Footscray Road.[60]
- The long-abandoned Kinnears rope factory site on Ballarat Road could be turned into a mini-suburb for 2,500 people including high-rise apartments, increasing the number of homes in Footscray by more than a quarter.[61]
- In 2011, $2 million was spent to revamp Leeds Street with wider footpaths, more trees and less access for cars.[62]
- In 2010, as a part of the Victorian Government's $61.6 million Footscray renewal program,[63] a new $15 million rail footbridge opened at Footscray railway station; within months, the government announced that half of the bridge would need to be rebuilt to accommodate new platforms for the Regional Rail Link.[64] Ken Betts, local Liberal candidate says, "the railway station is a complete an utter mess",[65] The canopies on the footbridge have designer holes which allows the rain fall through,[66] leaving the steep steps and flat surface of the bridge covered in slippery water,[67] which ex-Mayor of Maribyrnong, Janet Rice, calls unsafe.
Transport issues in Footscray:
- Despite the revamping of Footscray, 1,000s of heavy trucks from nearby ports use the suburbs streets. Almost 3,000 trucks a day were recorded going down Buckley Street in central Footscray in 2010.[68] Greens Mayor Cr Janet Rice helped get heavy trucks banned from Hopkins, Barkley, Irving, and Nicholson Streets in 2007.[69] Truck bypass protesters from the MTAG have blockaded central Footscray roads during peak hour several times,[70] the last blockade was on Moore St, April 2014. Protestors called for night and weekend truck curfews.[71]
- The West Gate Distributor (Northern Section) will be part of a planned multimillion-dollar truck tollway between the port and the Westgate freeway, construction of the Northern section is expected to commence late in 2015 and take approximately 18 months to complete.[72]
- Between 2011–2012 a multimillion-dollar planning study was conducted into building a multibillion-dollar tunnel under Footscray.[73] The tunnel is part of a proposed East West Link toll road, in May 2013 the State Liberal Government pledged $300 million towards the eastern suburbs section of the $8 billion project.[74]
- Between 2009–12 the former State Labor Government conducted route investigations and consultation to help identify options for removing trucks from local streets under the name 'Truck Action Plan',[75] in August 2012 the ruling Liberal Government put this on hold [76] and in May 2013 the plan was finally scrapped as the government claims it has been superseded by east-west link plans.[77]
- The Maribyrnong Truck Action Group blockaded Shepherd Bridge in March 2013, demanding the state government fast-track work on linking the port with the West Gate Freeway.[78]
- In 2013, the State and Federal Government is spending $5 Million dollars investigating the possibility of a new interstate freight terminal in Truganina, which would reduce the daily number of trucks in the inner west from 20,000 to 18,000.[79]
- Footscray railway station is the busiest non-CBD railway station in Melbourne, with 14,000 boardings per day.[80]
- The $5 Billion Regional Rail Link,[81] took out 26 homes and 84 businesses in Central Footscray.[82] and will create slower travel times between Geelong and Melbourne, not faster.[83] The Regional Rail Link rebuilt the Nicholson Street bridge in central Footscray, all the shops and cafes on this bridge were destroyed, and foot-traffic is now exposed to the diesel trains below.[84]
- In 2008 the Melbourne City Council recommended extending the 86 tram route to Footscray via Docklands.[85]
Community initiativesEdit
Grasslands Organic Grocery is a non-profit community initiative, established in 1997. All the produce is certified organic/biodynamic; free of animal ingredients; minimally processed/packaged; healthy to use; affordable; locally made; produced by small enterprises that have good working conditions and who are not involved in other unethical or unsustainable practices. Concession card holds get a discount when buying in store, currently only open on Thursdays.
Aussie Rules Football
- Footscray is home of the Western Bulldogs Australian rules football club, which play in the Australian Football League. The team was formerly known as the Footscray Football Club until 1996, and played its home games at the Whitten Oval on Barkly Street, on the edge of Footscray. In 2014, competitive football returned to the Club's home base with the re-introduction of the Footscray Bulldogs into the Victorian Football League (VFL) competition, who won the 2016 premiership.[86] In addition, Footscray is also represented in the Western Region Football League by the West Footscray Roosters, the North Footscray Devils and the Parkside Magpies.
- Footscray Hawks Basketball Club – after a decade break this club, once the biggest in Victoria,[87] returned in 2011.[88]
- Footscray Canoe Club, located at 40 Farnsworth Ave (corner of Maribyrnong Boulevard). Sessions usually run on Saturday or Sunday from 7.30am.
- The Footscray Edgewater Cricket Club (formally Footscray Cricket Club) was founded in 1883 and for the first 113 years of its existence was also located at the Western Oval (now Whitten Oval) until 1996 when combined pressure exerted by the Footscray Football Club and state-government-appointed commissioners to the City of Maribyrnong saw the club relocated to the Mervyn G. Hughes Oval. Until the test cricket debut of the Melbourne Cricket Club's Brad Hodge in December 2005, the Footscray Cricket Club had produced the most Test players of any Melbourne based district cricket club. Footscray's Test representatives in order of debut are Ron Gaunt, Les Joslin, Ken Eastwood, Alan Hurst, Ray Bright, Merv Hughes, Tony Dodemaide and Colin Miller. The club won its only District First Eleven premiership under the captaincy of Lindsay James in 1979/80.
- The Footscray United Cricket Club was founded in 1934 and won the VTCA North A1 Grand Final for 2010–11.
- The Footscray Cycling Club promotes road racing and criterium racing, whilst cyclists are represented by the MazzaBUG, the Maribyrnong Bicycle User Group.
- Nearby bike paths include the Maribyrnong River Trail and the Hobsons Bay Coastal Trail.
Football (Soccer)
- The football club Melbourne Croatia was founded in Leeds Street, Footscray in 1953[citation needed], and now bears the name Melbourne Knights FC.
- Footscray JUST was a soccer club which played at Schintler Reserve.
Gridiron (American Football)
- Footscray is home of the Western Crusaders, an American football or Gridiron team which plays in the Gridiron Victoria league. The team was known as the Westside Vikings until 1997, and plays its home games at the Henry Turner Memorial Reserve on Farnsworth Avenue right next door to the iconic Flemington Racecourse, within the Footscray Park area, Maribyrnong River and Victoria University. The Western Crusaders proudly call Footscray its home.
- Apollo Gym: Hardcore gym in industrial warehouse at 37/91 Moreland St, Footscray – one of the nation's first gyms, opened in the 1930s[89]
- The Exercise Room: 24 Hour Gym with after-hours swipe card entry. 88 Buckley Street Footscray
- White Dog Studio: Pilates, Yoga, meditation and High intensity Fitness training. 34 Moreland Street, Footscray
- Footscray City Gymnastics Club: The 30-year-old club is home to almost 900 gymnasts and now offers programs to children with disabilities.
- Footscray Hockey Club (Junior): Run by 90 volunteers, the club is the second-largest hockey club in Melbourne, with playing members from five to 70 years old and a focus on equality for female players.[90]
Horse Racing
- Flemington Racecourse, the home of the Melbourne Cup, is across the Maribyrnong River to the northeast in the neighbouring suburb of Flemington, immediately opposite Footscray Park, the second largest botanical garden in Victoria.
- The Footscray Lacrosse Club is 50 years old and play at Angliss Reserve in Yarraville. In 2011 the club has around 190 members across 15 Men and Women teams.
Martial Arts
- A.I.M. Academy Headquarters, specialising in martial arts, self-defence and fitness programs for teens and adults, at 201 Barkly Street, Footscray. Opened in 2010.
- Resilience Training Centre runs judo, Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) and CrossFit training classes for people at all levels of experience, at 86 Buckley Street, Footscray.
- Footscray City Rowing Club – This club is over 100 years old and meets at the Footscray Boat Club, Maribyrnong Boulevard. The club is for 14-year olds and up, beginners, novices, seniors and school programs.[91]
- Footscray Rugby Union Club – formed in 1928 and one of the oldest rugby clubs south of the (NSW) border. Footscray RUC has produced 5 Wallabies (Australian national team players), 1 current Wallaroo (Australian national women's team player) and currently plays in the Premier Division of the Victorian Rugby Union. Their home ground is the Dodemaide Oval in Footscray Park, in front of the Vic Uni Ballarat Road campus. The club has men-, women- and junior teams and the players come from a very diverse background. Every year several international students join the club for the duration of their stay. Like many sports clubs in Footscray, the club colours are red, white and blue and the club emblem is a bulldog.
- A public swimming pool and gym could form part of a 2014 proposed $12 million redevelopment of Whitten Oval.[92]
Water Polo
- Footscray Swimming & Waterpolo Club – formed in 1909 and commenced activities in the Maribyrnong River, then the Footscray Swim Centre.
While many factories and warehouses are still to be found in and around the suburb of Footscray, many former industrial sites are being transformed into modern housing estates. Perhaps the largest of these is the former Footscray Ammunition Factory in a prime elevated position overlooking the banks of the Maribyrnong River with views across to Flemington Racecourse and the Melbourne city centre.[citation needed]
The eastern portion of Footscray, in the fork between the Yarra River and Maribyrnong River, contains railway yards, Appleton and Swanson Docks which were the site of the 1998 Australian waterfront dispute and the Melbourne Wholesale Fruit and Vegetable Market. The market houses 400 businesses, employs 3000 people and supplies 60 per cent of Victoria's fresh produce, it is due to move to Epping in 2013–14.[93] In 2005, the State Government announced the closure of the Melbourne Wholesale Fruit and Vegetable Market to make way for an extensive redevelopment of the Port of Melbourne and the construction of new freight rail links to the area.
The headquarters of Lonely Planet Publications were located in eastern Footscray on the banks of the Maribyrnong River, adjacent to the Hobsons Bay Coastal Trail. Lonely Planet has published over 100 million books[94] and in 2013 the BBC sold Lonely Planet to an American company for $75 Million.[95] The headquarters were moved to Carlton in 2016[96], with the space taken over by coworking space The Dream Factory.[97]
Notable residentsEdit
- Colleen Hartland, Victorian State Government Greens' MP
- Coral Browne (1913–1991), International award-winning film and theatre actor who was raised in Footscray.
- Doug Chappel, Comedian
- Ernie Sigley, former TV presenter and radio compare and TV Week Gold Logie Award winner.
- Les Twentyman, youth worker and social campaigner who has received the Order of Australia and was the 2006 Victorian of the Year.
- Merv Hughes, former Australian cricketer, played in 53 Test matches, now retired with Mervyn G. Hughes Oval named after him.
- Michael Leunig, cartoonist, poet and an Australian Living Treasure.
- Ray Borner, former basketballer) and Olympian.
- Russell Gilbert, TV and film comedian, twice Logie nominated during his nine years on the Hey Hey It's Saturday TV show.
- Ted Whitten (1933–1995), Hall of Fame footballer and TV personality. A life size statue of 'Mr Football' kicking a ball stands outside Whitten Oval on Barkly Street.
- William Cooper (1861–1941), Aboriginal rights leader, in 1938 organised the only protest in the world against Kristallnacht (Nazi Night of Broken Glass). Trees have been planted in Jerusalem in his honour and the footbridge at Footscray Station bears his name.[98]
- Sarah Watt (1958–2011), was an Australian filmmaker, best known for two feature films "Look Both Ways" (2005) and "My Year Without Sex" (2009). She was a long-time resident of Footscray.
- Bangs, Sudanese-Australian hip hop artist.
Educational institutionsEdit
- Angliss Children's Centre – Corner of Vipont Street & Seelaf Square.
- Brenbeal Children's Centre – 8 Rayner Street, Footscray.
- Hyde Street Kindergarten – 10a Hyde Street, Footscray.
- Kingsville Kindergarten – Hansen Reserve, Roberts Street, Footscray.
- Bulldogs Community Child Care Centre – 19 Hocking Street, Footscray.
- Footscray City Primary School. The State Government is closing the Steiner stream in 2012.[99]
- Footscray North Primary School, corner Rosamond Rd and Mephan Street, Footscray.
- Footscray Primary School, previously known as Geelong Road Primary, offers the International Baccalaureate, and Vietnamese Bilingual Programme.
- St. John's Catholic Primary School, 90% of the Students are from non-English-speaking backgrounds. The 'My School' website revealed that year 5 students at St John's outperformed their peers at Geelong Grammar School in four out of the five NAPLAN tests, which assess reading, writing, spelling, grammar and punctuation, and numeracy.[100]
- St Monica's Primary School, a Catholic school with around 170 children, big on English Literacy.
- Footscray City College. previously known as Footscray Technical College, Co-Ed, 1000 students, VCE, TAFE and more offered.
- Gilmore Girls College, previously known as Footscray Girls Secondary College, government run, academically focussed.
- Victoria University, Footscray Park, a seven-hectare site, swimming pool and gym open to the public.
- Victoria University, Footscray Nicholson, range of TAFE programs.
Institutes and more
- Austwide Institute of Training, Automotive Management Institute.
- Leonie Khoury School of Music, lessons for Flute, Clarinet, Saxophone, Piano and Violin.
- Footscray City Films, independent Tertiary Institution offering Certificate IV, Diplomas and Advanced Diplomas in Screen and Media. Over 120 Short Films are produced each year.
Neighbourhood Houses
- Angliss Neighbourhood House Registered training provider delivering adult, community and further education programs and vocational training
Public librariesEdit
The Footscray Public Library is operated by the Maribyrnong City Council. Services include 'story time' for pre-schoolers, orientation tours, reference and information services to assist with research needs, internet classes, and services for those unable to visit the library. Facilities include public internet, word processing, photocopiers, study carrels, local studies/family history room, conference and discussion rooms, a baby change room and community notice boards. The library is open 7 days (closed public holidays).[101]
The Footscray Mechanics' Institute Inc. was established in 1857, and has operated a library in Nicholson Street since 1913. The library is a low cost subscription library, which is open 5 days a week, closed Weekends, Public Holidays and for 3–4 weeks over the Christmas/New Year period.
The health needs of Footscray and surrounding residents are served by the Western General Hospital or WHF. The Western General is a large teaching and research hospital responsible for providing a comprehensive range of inpatient and outpatient acute health services. The hospital currently conducts research in gastroenterology, colorectal cancer, emergency care, oncology, respiratory medicine, sleep disorders, and vascular surgery.
Key services at the Western Hospital include acute medical and surgical services, intensive and coronary care, emergency services, renal services, specialist drug and alcohol services, aged care and palliative care.[citation needed] The hospital also serves as one of the teaching campuses for the University of Melbourne's medical program.
The Western Region Health Centre was established in 1964.[citation needed] Services include an African community worker, refugee health nurse, women's health nurse, dieticians, youth health nurse, diabetic educator, podiatrist, counsellors and physiotherapists. Visiting specialists include a general surgeon and paediatrician. Pathology services and dental services are co-located on site.
Places of worshipEdit
60% of Footscray residences admitted to belonging to a religion in 2011, down from 70% in 2006.[102] There are many religious organisations and places of worship in Footscray, including Anglican, Assemblies of God, Baptist, Buddhist, Catholic, Church of Christ, Evangelical Christian, Independent Christian, Lutheran, Muslim, Orthodox, Pentecostal, Presbyterian and Uniting Church.
The Heavenly Queen Temple, the largest temple of the Chinese sea-goddess Mazu in Australia, is being built on the banks of the river. Its grounds include a 16 m (52 ft) gold statue.[103][104]
Two free suburban weekly newspapers are delivered in Footscray on Wednesdays:
- The Maribyrnong Leader (formerly the Western Times) is published by Leader Community Newspapers and owned by News Corporation.
- The Maribyrnong & Hobsons Bay Star Weekly is published by Metro Media Publishing, which is owned by Fairfax and the Star News Group.
- The Independent was a weekly newspaper published from 1883 to 1933.[105]
- 1859 First newspaper printed (The Advertiser)
See alsoEdit
- City of Footscray, a former local government area (LGA) of the same name
- Electoral district of Footscray
- Romper Stomper, an Australian film set in Footscray.
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- ^ FOOTSCRAY RENEWAL http://www.maribyrnong.vic.gov.au/Files/FR_UpdateFlyer_20090303_TP.pdf
- ^ Footscray Footbridge named http://enews.transport.vic.gov.au/link/id/12240974bf4c45066172/page.html
- ^ The great disconnect http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/the-great-disconnect-20101101-17afe.html
- ^ Wannabe councillors fire on Maribyrnong http://maribyrnong-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/maribyrnong-council-under-fire/
- ^ Steps taken to name Footscray footbridge http://maribyrnong-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/steps-taken-to-name-footscray-footbridge/
- ^ Colander Bridge http://www.ffrr.footscray.org/documents/colander-bridge
- ^ Anger as Footscray trucks total soars http://maribyrnong-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/anger-as-moore-st-footscray-trucks-total-soar/
- ^ "Trucks banned from Footscray centres". MTAG blog. Maribyrnong Truck Action Group. 30 March 2007. Retrieved 11 October 2010.
- ^ "road blockade success". Less trucks for moore. Blogspot. 2010.
- ^ "MTAG – Truck protest bridge blockade – 19 March 2013 | Maribyrnong Truck Action Group". Mtag.org.au. 20 March 2013. Retrieved 29 April 2013.
- ^ VicRoads (9 January 2017). "West Gate Distributor - Stage 1". vicroads.vic.gov.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ West Link http://lma.vic.gov.au/pages/about-westlink.asp
- ^ "Vic can't expect East West cash yet: PM". The Age. Melbourne.
- ^ Truck Action Plan "Archived copy". Archived from the original on 16 February 2011. Retrieved 11 June 2010.CS1 maint: Archived copy as title (link)
- ^ New link connecting west to the city axed http://brimbank-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/new-link-connecting-west-to-the-city-axed/
- ^ "Toll road 'condemns west' to years of congestion". The Age. Melbourne.
- ^ 12 Feb 2013, 4:53 p.m. (12 February 2013). "Maribyrnong Truck Action Group to blockade Shepherd Bridge". Maribyrnong Weekly. Retrieved 29 April 2013.
- ^ Toscano, Nick (6 February 2013). "Truganina truck hub's just one step, residents say". Wyndham Weekly. Retrieved 29 April 2013.
- ^ Stopping all stations as minister backs down http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/stopping-all-stations-as-minister-backs-down-20100908-151c2.html
- ^ Rail link delay as bill nears $5bn http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/rail-link-delay-as-bill-nears-5bn-20110404-1cypw.html
- ^ Rail plan with at least one obstacle: Footscray http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/rail-plan-with-at-least-one-obstacle-footscray-20100506-ugz1.html
- ^ Regional Rail Link: Many better ways to spend $5bn http://www.ptua.org.au/2011/02/23/regional-rail-link-many-better-ways-to-spend-5bn/
- ^ Nicholson Street bridge http://www.transport.vic.gov.au/projects/pt/rrl/station-designs/nicholson-street-bridge
- ^ Vision for 'friendlier' Docklands http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/vision-for-friendlier-docklands/2008/01/01/1198949817058.html
- ^ "Victoria University Whitten Oval - westernbulldogs.com.au". westernbulldogs.com.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ http://www.recwest.ymca.org.au/index.asp?menuid=070
- ^ http://maribyrnong-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/footscray-set-to-bounce-again/
- ^ "Apollo Gym - HOME". apollogym.com.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ "Find a personal loan that's right for you". maribyrnongweekly.com.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ "500 Error". maribyrnong.vic.gov.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ "Whitten Oval plans accidentally public". heraldsun.com.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ http://www.weeklytimesnow.com.au/article/2013/03/19/563773_horticulture.html
- ^ "Find a personal loan that's right for you". maribyrnongweekly.com.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ "Lonely Planet sold, local future uncertain". The Age. Melbourne.
- ^ https://www.booksandpublishing.com.au/articles/2016/07/01/59256/lonely-planet-opens-new-headquarters/
- ^ https://www.smh.com.au/business/companies/not-so-lonely-in-footscray-hightech-shared-work-space-20160301-gn7gmn.html
- ^ http://www.jwire.com.au/news/william-coopers-great-grandson-walks-the-walk/13435
- ^ Handling of Steiner closure criticised http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/handling-of-steiner-closure-criticised-20111128-1o3c4.html
- ^ Topsfield, Jewel (5 March 2011). "Doing well in Footscray doesn't cost $14m". The Age. Melbourne: Fairfax.
- ^ "Library Branch Locations and Opening Hours". About Maribyrnong Library Service. Maribyrnong City Council. Retrieved 27 September 2010.
- ^ "Religion - Footscray - profile.id". id.com.au. Retrieved 23 January 2017.
- ^ Heavenly Queen Temple Archived February 8, 2011. Retrieved April 19, 2016.
- ^ "The Queen's Birthday", The Westsider, Melbourne, May 30, 2015. Retrieved April 19, 2016.
- ^ The independent, W.M. Clark, 1883, ISSN 1838-9201
External linksEdit
|Wikimedia Commons has media related to Footscray, Victoria.
|Wikivoyage has a travel guide for Footscray.
|Wikisource has the text of the 1911 Encyclopædia Britannica article Footscray.
- Australian Croatian Association Melbourne
- Footscray Club social club, on Paisley Street
- Footscray Community Arts Centre
- Footscray Cycling Club
- Footscray Historical Society on Vicnet
- Footscray-Yarraville City Band
- Maribyrnong City Council
- Melbourne Museum of Printing on Vicnet
- Snuff Puppets theatre group
- Western Crusaders Gridiron Club
- Quang Minh Buddhist Centre
- Footscray Suburb Map


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The fiscal cliff steals the financial headlines on a daily basis. Yet, in spite of increasing volatility and year-end uncertainty, the hot topic hasn't moved the broader market's needle.
Since the 11/6 election more than 6 weeks ago, the S&P 500 SPDR Trust (SPY) has effectively ended in the same place it began. Bears believe this is a sign that upcoming austerity will hamper market progress and that a failed budget negotiation may send stocks plummeting. Bulls believe that stocks are ready to explode to the upside, as long as the White House and Congress cement a deal.
Intriguingly, there are several stock ETFs that are marching to a different drumbeat than the one heard in the District of Columbia. Here's a quick summation:
1. iShares DJ Transportation (IYT). The Dow Jones Transportation Average has been a thorn in the U.S. stock bull… all year long. Unlike the Dow Jones Industrials Average that set new bull market highs in May, September and October, the Transports stubbornly drifted lower throughout the summertime and into the fall.
Then something happened in mid-November. Not only did the exchange-traded proxy (IYT) rocket more than 10% in as little as 5 weeks, but the price hit a new 52-week high on 12/20; on Friday, 12/21, IYT only fell -0.3%.
Granted, a "Dow Theorist" might still be skeptical of the recent turn of events. After all, IYT has not yet revisited its bull market pinnacle set in July 2011. Nevertheless, the demand for the transportation of goods and services should increase markedly with greater economic stabilization in China.
2. Guggenheim Global Water (CGW). The idea that one would see handsome profits by investing in companies that provide, purify and conserve the ultimate commodity for homes and businesses is hardly new. In fact, the theme gathered a head of steam in 2006 on the notion that developing countries would require the expertise in enhancing its infrastructure.
More recently, however, some are looking to global water companies as a sustainability play. Whereas one may choose dividend growth models as a solid indication that a company will be providing its product or services for many years to come, one can also look at the end product or service itself. Water is as essential to sustaining life and livelihood as oil; meanwhile, global water corporations rarely have to worry about demand.
On 12/21, CGW fell roughly 1/3 as much as broader domestic and global benchmarks. Equally worthy of note, the fund had hit fresh 52-week highs in the week.
Obviously, if the U.S. fails to reach an accord, it's unlikely that stock assets of any stripe would survive the stampede for the exits. That's why it's critical for ETF investors to maintain an unemotional discipline for reducing downside risk. That said, the recent rise in transportation stocks and water stocks is telling me that investors are growing increasingly confident in China's economic prospects.
You can listen to the ETF Expert Radio Show "LIVE", via podcast or on your iPod. You can follow me on Twitter @ETFexpert.
Disclosure Statement: ETF Expert is a web log ("blog") that makes the world of ETFs easier to understand. Gary Gordon, MS, CFP is the president of Pacific Park Financial, Inc., a Registered Investment Adviser with the SEC. Gary Gordon, Pacific Park Financial, Inc., and/or its clients may hold positions in the ETFs, mutual funds, and/or any investment asset mentioned above. The commentary does not constitute individualized investment advice. The opinions offered herein are not personalized recommendations to buy, sell or hold securities. At times, issuers of exchange-traded products compensate Pacific Park Financial, Inc. or its subsidiaries for advertising at the ETF Expert web site. ETF Expert content is created independently of any advertising relationships.


text: Austin, Texas favorites Shinyribs is the continuation of Kevin Russell's musical journey that began with Picket Line Coyotes and then festival darlings, The Gourds. After 18 years of gourdy good times and hard travelin', Russell has been riding high on the Shinyribs river of country-soul, swamp-funk and tickle. All styles of American music are likely to be touched on, squeezed on, kissed on by this world-class band featuring Winfield Cheek on Keyboards, Keith Langford on Drums, Jeff Brown on Bass, the Tijuana Trainwreck Horns, and The Shiny Soul Sisters. Whether on his 6 string Uke or his Electric guitar or singing a cappella, Russell will entertain you like no one else. Shinyribs' show will feature songs from their newest album I Got Your Medicine (Feb 2017).


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Summer Reading List 2013
Here are some books to keep your mind sharp and renew your faith while enjoying summer vacations with friends and family this summer:
Answering the Call: The Doctor Who Made Africa His Life by Ken Gire / Thomas Nelson
You don't have to travel abroad this summer to glimpse life in another region of the world. Just crack open this inspiring tale of Nobel Prize-winning humanitarian Albert Schweitzer. The late Schweitzer, a child of a Lutheran minister, had accomplished more in his first 30 years of life than most achieve in a lifetime: he served in the military, earned advanced degrees in theology and philosophy, became a skillful concert organist, gave lectures in at the University of Strasbourg and was ordained as a minister in St. Nicholas Church. For many, that would have been enough to earn a reasonable living and attain social status in life. Yet Schweitzer was moved by his Christian faith to earn a medical degree and move his family to what is now Gabon, Africa in order to build and run a hospital among the natives.
God had joined faith and reason together harmoniously. It is man who puts them asunder. The more I understand Jesus, the more I am impressed by the way He combined faith and common sense. In the end, it seemed the most rational thing to do with my life, perhaps the only rational thing," Schweitzer said of his controversial decision in Answering the Call.
Author Ken Gire takes great pains to describe everything: the mission that was Schweitzer's first home in the French colony of Lambaréné –deep in the dense rainforest, surrounded by a "cacophony of primal noises" –his first hospital in an old chicken coop and the doctor's first patients – men and women with "pain and sadness" on their faces.
While many of the exploits depicted in the book are based on Schweitzer's real life, Gire's book is more historical fiction than biography. Gire acknowledged this in the Author's Note, "A couple of the characters have been invented, although the majority of characters are factual. I have taken artistic license on wording and dialogue to illuminate certain facts and bring depth to the characters."
However Gire's telling of Schweitzer's bold quest is a vehicle through which readers can ponder Jesus' compassion for the lame and sick He frequently encountered during His ministry.
Now a leper came to Him, imploring Him, kneeling down to Him and saying to Him, 'If You are willing, You can make me clean.' Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, 'I am willing; be cleansed.' As soon as He had spoken, immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed." -Mark 1:40-42
Readers of Answering the Call will grapple for a better understanding of Jesus' compassion as Schweitzer did. As patients, some carried by relatives, lined up in front of his cabin desperate for help, Schweitzer asks the question every reader will be all thinking as he/she reads this book: "Is this what it means to be 'moved with compassion'?"
Life in the Fairway: What Golf Teaches Us About Integriy by Chad Bonham/ New Leaf Publishing Group
It is summer -- the weather is warm, the sun is shining. It's the perfect time to hit the golf course this summer and learn to swing the club like the pros. While you're out there, PGA Tour professionals would also like golfers to learn the integrity of the game – an integrity that for some golfers like Steward Clink, Jonathan Byrd, Webb Simpson and Ben Crane flows from their Christian faith. Chad Bonham's book uses their testimonies to teach primarily male golfers how important it is uphold Christ even when it seems no one is looking.
"God knows our thoughts," Byrd, a five-time PGA Tour winner, said in the book. "He knows everything that we do."
In the book Bonham shows how that belief led Byrd to withdraw from a tournament over a penalty officials had not caught. The decision cost him a chance at making the cut and earning thousands of dollars but Byrd said he would rather live without regrets.
Integrity is integral in golf were the onus is on individual golfers to record and report their own scores and mistakes. Integrity is also integral to the Christian walk.
Bonham's Life in the Fairway does a good job of showing readers how faith-inspired ethics travel from the course to the home.
In an interview with the author, Simpson shared his ambition to be the best husband to wife Dowd. "I'm so young at it and I'm so new to it but daily my goal is to see how I can keep from being a burden on my wife and how I can be a blessing instead. The only way I'm ever able to do a great job is when I'm humbling myself before the Lord and humbling myself before my wife," he explained.
He also works hard to fulfill the mandate of Proverbs 22:6 with his young son James: "Train a child in the way he should go and when is he old he will not turn from it."
There are many more testimonies about integrity, fidelity and devotion on and off the course in the book from all of the golfers named above. That coupled with the golf histories and player trivia and facts featured in between chapters makes this book an enjoyable summer read.
The Ear of the Heart: An Actress' Journey From Hollywood to Holy Vows by Mother Dolores Hart and Richard DeNeut/ Ignatius Press
Last year's Academy Awards was rocked by the appearance of an actual nun on the red carpet. Mother Dolores Hart, as it turns out, is no ordinary nun. As a college student Hart acted alongside Elvis Presley – not once, but twice. She eventually performed on Broadway and modeled for fashion layouts. And just as her star was growing brighter, she gave up everything for monastic life as a Benedictine nun.
Viewers briefly learned about Hart's story in the Oscar-nominated HBO documentary short "God is bigger than Elvis" – the same documentary for which she walked the 2012 Academy Awards red carpet. However Richard DeNeut's account of Mother Dolores' autobiography The Ear of the Heart explains her story in greater detail.
You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate how faith kept Hart from falling prey to the violence and alcohol addiction that plagued her home and led her to sacrifice future fame. You may also appreciate – as I did – the way Hart's ever-present faith inspired those around her on the movie set: Elvis, a Baptist, often read and quoted scripture with her during the making of King Creole and she also became a confidant of sorts to old Hollywood hunk Monty Clift on the set of LonelyHearts.
Not by Sight: A Fresh Look at Old Stories of Walking by Faith by Jon Bloom/ Crossway
You will come back from your vacation with a fresh perspective after reading this modern retelling of classic Bible stories. Not by Sight does not change the setting or context of stories like the disciples and a sleeping Jesus amid the stormy sea, Joseph and an expecting Mary or the adulteress spared a stoning.
Instead author Jon Bloom brilliantly adds thoughts and feelings to them, giving Bible figures such as James Zebedee a relatability that is refreshing. In the story of the adulteress, Bloom gives readers a glimpse of the terror she may have felt as men dragged her from her lover's bed and into the street to be stoned.
Oh God! Oh God, she begged silently"
Even more exciting is her reaction after being pardoned by the Son of God. Bloom describes the adulteress returning to her home with a new sense of cleanness.
Each narrative is followed with an explanation that helps the reader dig deeper into the scriptures and emerge with a personal nugget of truth.
As John Piper wrote in the forward of Not by Sight, the meditations of faith found in Bloom's book "are rooted in what the Bible says. The creative additions never go beyond what really could have happened."
Bloom's creativity provides a thought-provoking devotional that will pair well with your daily Bible study.
For Children
Boy and the Ocean by Max Lucado and T. Lively Fluharty/ Crossway
This is the perfect picture book to share with your young children on the plane or in the car while you are headed to your vacation destination. The vivid pictures of beachscapes, sea creatures and birds by illustrator T. Lively Fluharty are mesmerizing. The pictures do a lot to aid author Max Lucado's equally captivating story. Told in simple sentences, Lucado's powerful message of God's vast love will draw your Pre- K, Kindergraten children in.
The Great Outdoors Bible for Kids/ Zonderkidz
Sending your children to camp this summer? This is a perfect companion. This NIV Bible delivers the word of God with helpful tips such as how to tie a knot, identify animals and perform first aid. There are also seven devotions written with campers in mind.
This backpacking Bible is available in paperback, brown Italian duo-tone leather and green soft covers. Appropriate for children ages 9 and up.


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On 14 June 1970, Porsche claimed the first of what would become 16 overall victories in the world's most prestigious endurance race, the Le Mans 24 Hours. Celebrate this historic victory with this original art work red t-shirt that captures line art from the original 1970's Porsche 917 winner.
This product hasn't received any reviews yet. Be the first to review this product!


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Posts Taggedyahoo
In the world of web mail, Yahoo – with or without the superfluous exclamation point – has always been viewed as something of the black sheep of the family. Gmail is the cool older brother, while Hotmail/Live Mail was the sibling you were kind of forced into getting along with.
Having rather fallen by the wayside in recent years, Yahoo's email service has undergone a makeover and there's a brand new Windows 8 app to go along with it. And, believe it or not, it's looking pretty good.
The ability to communicate with each other is one of those areas that got revolutionized in the past few decades. Looking past email, instant messaging, or IMing, was definitely one of those things that was cool when I was growing up.
But are the IM clients from the last era any relevant now? Today, I'd like to take a look at Yahoo messenger.


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Dr. Jason Kunik is working on the most earth-shattering genetics project ever, DNA mapping of a new species, the quickened—dogs who can shift into human form. The problem is, no one knows the quickened exist and Jason can't betray them by publishing his studies. When he moves to Mad Creek to continue his research in a town full of quickened, all he wants is peace, quiet, and to be allowed to bury himself in his work. Perhaps if he figures how out the mutation is activated, he can silence his own inner dog forever.
Milo is a hospice comfort dog who has bonded with, and lost, many beloved patients in his life. He intuitively understands sickness and pain on a spiritual level most can't see. When he gains the ability to become a man, he thinks he finally has everything he ever wanted. But being a man isn't the same thing as being loved, and taking shelter in Mad Creek isn't the same thing as finding a home.
When a mysterious illness hits Mad Creek and threatens all the quickened in town, it's up to the scientist and the comfort dog to figure out what it is and how to stop it. Along the way they might discover that true love is possible—if you wish upon a star.
This is the third book in the "Howl at the Moon" series, but it can be read as a stand-alone.
Dani's rating:
Book 2 remains my favorite, because ROMAN. But Milo stole the show in this one!
A labradoodle, Milo is all heart. He's sweetness and JOY and boundless energy. A hospice dog, Milo wished upon a star, and his dream came true. Almost.
Jason is all mind. He's a scientist and keeps his dog (an Alaskan Malamute) in check. He's so reluctant to give in to his animal, he hasn't shifted for several years. He's wound tight and anxious all the time. Only Milo's touch can soothe him.
Jason tries to keep Milo at arm's length, but resistance is futile. Milo, with his empathy, hugs, and big smiles, is too damn charming. Milo likes everyone so much, Jason worries he's nothing special.
How to Wish Upon a Star is about Jason learning to feel and Milo finding a home.
If you counted only school, Milo was not a good mate for Jason. But Milo knew other things, things Jason didn't know. He knew about people's hearts and souls and about what you regret in the end.
He knew about bonds and how they survived age and trouble and pain and even death. He knew sickness. He knew sacrifice. He knew the magical power of touch.
He knew patience and stillness, and he knew how to give those to people even when you didn't feel like being patient or still at all. He knew love.
The main plot line revolves around a virus that appears to attack only the quicken, causing them to revert to their canine forms and lose their human side.
Jason is a geneticist (something I know a thing or two about), and he's the only one to whom the people of Mad Creek can turn to find a "cure" for the virus. I credit Easton with doing her research. The science isn't entirely accurate, but it's believable enough. Some of you may get bored with all the talk of antibodies and blood types, but I ate it up.
To save the quicken, including Lily and Lance (MC; book 1), who've been struck by the virus, Jason, Milo, Tim (Lance's mate; book 1), and Matt (Roman's mate; book 2) travel to a dog sanctuary in Arizona. There they meet a gruff man by the name of Rav (future MC alert!) and discover that something fishy is going on.
Milo comes to the rescue in more ways than one, even as Jason struggles to protect the man he loves (and it takes a lot for Jason to admit that, believe me). Jason's POV dominates the story, but Milo's voice shines through at the end.
I definitely wanted more steam here; two short scenes just weren't enough, especially considering Milo's incredibly enthusiastic approach to human sex.
While the ending is a sparkly HEA for Milo and Jason, some loose ends regarding the mystery of the virus are left unresolved. I anticipated the setup for book 4 from the beginning, but it in no way stopped me from enjoying the story.
This series is addicting, and Eli Easton's writing so effortless, I had a hard time putting this book down.
If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry.
~Emily Dickinson
An ARC of this book was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Download links are provided as a courtesy and do not constitute an endorsement of or affiliation with the book, author, publisher, or website listed.


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Assad visits tomb of unknown soldier in rare public appearance.
Oct. 6 - President Bashar al Assad makes a rare public appearance to lay a wreath at the tomb of the unknown soldier as civil war rages in Syria and cross border skirmishing with Turkish forces threatens to destabilize the region. Rough Cut (no reporter narration)
ROUGH CUT - NO REPORTER NARRATION Syrian President Bashar al Assad visited the tomb of the unknown soldier in Damascus on Saturday (October 6) to mark the anniversary of the start of the 1973 Middle East war. State television carried pictures of Assad laying the wreath at the monument at Mount Kassioun on the outskirts of the capital in the company of military and civilian dignitaries. Assad has seldom been seen in public since the uprising against his rule started in March 2011. At the start of the 1973 war Syria and Egypt brought Israel to the brink of defeat with coordinated surprise attacks on its borders during the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. But during the tree-week conflict that ensued they failed to retake the Golan Heights which Israel had seized during the 1967 Arab-Israeli war. Saturday was the fourth day of Turkish cross border strikes in retaliation for mortar bombs and shelling by Syrian forces that killed five Turkish civilians further east on Wednesday (October 3). The strikes and counter-strikes are the most serious cross-border violence in Syria's conflict, which began as a democracy uprising but has evolved into a civil war with sectarian overtones. They highlight how the crisis could destabilize the region. Turkish Prime Minister Tayip Erdogan said on Friday (October 5) his country did not want war but warned Syria not to make a "fatal mistake" by testing its resolve. Damascus has said its fire hit Turkey accidentally. NATO-member Turkey, once an ally of Assad but now a leading voice in calls for him to quit, has nearly 100,000 Syrian refugees in camps on its territory and has allowed rebel leaders sanctuary. Its armed forces are far larger than Syria's.


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Tuesday, January 3, 2012
SWIFT AND DETERMINED (inspired upon observing a local TV news person striding through the mall)
Hi, it's ME...the girl who does the local news on TV. Yes, and I'm BEAUTIFUL! Well, you can see that, you pitiful peon! No ugly girls on television, you know. I see you gawking when I pass by but...don't look at me! Well, I mean...just LOOK at me, dummy!
Life is grand when you're byootiful! I walk through the mall in a swift and determined way. As if to say GANGWAY PEASANTS--my heels pounding the tiles. And what does it feel like, you pathetic piece of poo that's stuck to the bottom of my shoe? Don't try to stop me! Well, yes---STOP ME, if it's copious praise you'll be heaping.
'Cause there's no ugly girls on TV. Okay, well, there's that UGLY BETTY show. Geez, what's up with that? Oh yeah, and there's Martha, my colleague. Not nearly as FABULOUS as me! She's a MINORITY--and you know how that works. Still, she PLOWS through the mall in a swift and determined way, thinking she's hot poop just because she's on TV! What a stupid thing to think. But not if you're BAYOOTIFULL! Now, kowtow to me, you scum!
When he hired me, my boss said there's no CASTING COUCH. But I did him anyway, just to cement our relationship. Cement...that stuff that starts out soft and then gets hard...tee hee! Never a dull moment.
Oh yeah, I had a STALKER once. Calling me at all hours of the night. Breathing real heavy into the phone and making these weird chicken noises. And peeking into my windows. Well, I can't really blame him for that. Like, who WOULDN'T if they got the chance? It puzzled me for a long time. Then I got this BRILLIANT idea to look at my caller ID display when the guy was on the phone. Sure enough, there was his number! Turns out it was my little brother's best friend. That knucklehead! I told him I might give him a good spanking if he didn't watch out, but he just looked at me with this weird grin on his face.
Now, I want to say something about the way we look on TV. Some people think just because I have this BLANK STARE on my face when I'm doing the news, that I'm stupid or something. But when we read these stories about homeless people getting squished in trash compactors and stuff, my boss doesn't want us to show any emotion. That's because EMOTION could be, like, expressing an OPINION with your face. And some people might get OFFENDED if we did that. Then, if they tune out, our ratings would go down.
I know in another ten years they'll be booting me out on my butt--replaced by someone who's younger and (don't want to say it) more BYOOOOTIFUL. But before they can do that, I'll get knocked up and go on maternity leave. Hey, last year the weekend anchor filled in for Jennifer for like, SIX MONTHS. And she wasn't even preggers! She brought these pictures of her SISTER'S baby into work and showed them around. Yeah, we ain't dumb, ya know. No, were...BAAAAYOOOOOTIFULLLLL...you pathetic excuse for a cockroach.
Hey, it's not all a bed of roses. There's hair and makeup right before the show. And having to learn those big words like Ahmadina...uh...Amajina...uh...oh FORGET IT, panther poop! I'm not paid to be SARAH PALIN (she's smart!) I'm paid to be FABULOUS. It's in the contract. Anyway, it's time to go parading through the malls again...
So BOW DOWN to me, you slugs!
ADORE ME, pig lickers!
WORSHIP ME, maggots!
Oh CRAP...look at that...I just broke another nail.
18 comments:
hehehe....are you sure its not the botox that keeps you expressionless? smiles...oy it is so hard being beautiful and it takes a bit more than that to get my cement hard...smiles.ReplyDelete
Have I ever mentioned I love the way your mind works? I used to have to 'assist' the local anchors at a retail place here--they were guys but with the same major attack of auto-erotic love, if you get my drift, and only the weatherman wasn't a total dick. Loved this one Timo.ReplyDelete
I was kind of with you till the stalker part, I don't think anyone, no matter how conceited, would take that as a compliment. The women and men I've known who are (by conventional standards) incredibly beautiful all have some painful anxieties about it that wouldn't be apparent from the outside.ReplyDelete
LOL the cement crack was genius, kind of an airhead indeed.ReplyDelete
This is great! I love your humor!ReplyDelete
Hilarious, Timoteo. I just had a thought - what would happen if you and Fireblossom collaborated on a poem-story? Hilarity at warp speed!ReplyDelete
Feel better? LOL. Seriously, this is another wonderful satyr's romp through the woods-- xxxjReplyDelete
And what does it feel like, you pathetic piece of poo that's stuck to the bottom of my shoe?
that's going right into my repertoire for the next jerk that comes jerking off ...the ramp. xxxj
ugh...i can see her..and i don't want to meet her...but would've loved to sit on a bench next to you in that mall and watch you while you watched her...haha...great write tim!!ReplyDelete
BRIAN: Botox--never thought of that!ReplyDelete
HEDGEWITCH: Having toiled in radio and TV broadcasting for eons, I can corroborate your observations.
KATHY: Point well taken. But this is PARODY--by its nature often exaggerated and stretched to ridiculous extremes.
PAT: A good thing we haven't had to cement our relationship!
TERESA: Thanks for shopping.
SHERRY: Sure...if you can sell her on the idea!
JENE: A satyr's romp? Well, it's true I've been called a horse's a** before!
hahahaha this was fucking hilarious! brilliantly done - you had me laughing throughout - the casting couch line - the strutting through the mall - and the thing is, like the others above I can SEE her! it rings all too true - how satirically brilliant! nice work!ReplyDelete
This is such a cool write. I can just imagine this in my mind....ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJanuary 5, 2012 at 9:04 AM
your brain is so random.ReplyDelete
and why not shit? why poop? lmao
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OSTENSIBLE: Thanks for that. When the prerequisite for getting hired for such a job depends primarily on physical attributes--what you see is what you get!ReplyDelete
FILLINGAHOLE: Because "panther poop" is more poetic...its got, like, ALLITERATION!
THINGY: Sure.
I loved reading this one. I am not so very good in humour, but I have tried it in my haiku.ReplyDelete
amazing one.ReplyDelete
Glad to see you share.
Awesome write. You nailed it!ReplyDelete
incredible piece of humor writing, Thanks for sharing.ReplyDelete