text:
i can be that guy
Reads: 517 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 0
Short Story by: s.malroy
Chapter 1
I walked into the small cafe, hoping that they might accept my resume. It was the fifteenth time I had walked into a shop today and attempted to apply for a job; but one look at my stomach had them turning their heads away. How I was going to manage to feed myself, let alone my baby when it was time, was beyond me, but I knew I couldn't give up. Smiling confidently I walked to cashier and asked if I could hand in my resume. She was a young looking girl, she seemed to be the same age as me. She was covered in tattoos down both arms, she wore only black, with green lipstick; she resembled what I think you would call a goth, but I wasn't sure, and I couldn't judge. As I expected she looked me up and down, shrugged her shoulders and took it from my hands without a word. I assumed she wasn't the owner or a manager, but nonetheless I was glad she accept my resume.
I turned to leave, and just as I did, my belly got in the way as it bumped right into someone, and within seconds I was wearing chocolate milkshake. I should have guessed that my luck wasn't going to last for long, and dam it was my last clean outfit. I needed to find a laundry mat fast.
"I'm really sorry." A tall sun kissed hair, green eyed man was standing in front of me holding the glass with the remaining chocolate milkshake. I was lost for words purely because my mind was running a hundred miles per hour thinking about all the things I needed to do today before it got dark and was no longer able to do anything productive.
"Miss, I'm really sorry. I didn't see you…" I lost track of what he was saying, all I could think about was how I was going to wash my clothes, and all I could watch was his mouth and the way it opened and closed so smoothly, so seductively. My brain managed to string a sentence together.
"It's okay, clearly it was my fault." I said pointing down at my stomach. This wasn't the first time my stomach had gotten in the way. Since I had just reached eight months, my stomach was beginning to develop at a faster rate, trying to make room for the little human being created inside me. Of course I didn't mind, I would do anything for the tiny human inside me, but this tiny human seemed to get me into a lot of sticky situations.
"No, not at all. This is isn't you or your babies fault, I should have watched where I was going, I turned for a split second to look the other way."
"That's all right. I have to get going, I'm going to miss the bus and it is the last one for this afternoon."
"No, let us get you cleaned up first. You can miss the bus and I'll call someone you know to come and get you."
"Thanks, but there is no one. I have to go."
Just like that I grabbed a handful of serviettes and walked out of the cafe. I wanted to run and hide, but I wouldn't be able to move fast enough, or find a space big enough to cover me. I was on my own, and in the open, with no place to go and no one to call. I reached for my phone and realised it was already five o'clock, I really needed to find a place to eat, wash and sleep, it had been a long day. I walked towards the bus stop, which happened to be right in front of a restaurant, I could smell the divine food that was being served. Actually if you really looked at the food, it wasn't divine at all, it was just hamburgers and pizza, but I hadn't had a proper meal since yesterday morning, it looked divine. I was tempted to walk in and order the cheapest thing on the menu, but I needed to save the money for the motel room I was going to stay in.
When I got off the bus this morning and arrived in Boston, Massachusetts, the kind bus man had explained to me where I could find the cheapest motel that was close to a laundry mate and a gas station. Not that I needed to get gas, because I didn't have a car, but knowing that it might have cheaper food, which it probably didn't, sounded good.
It was getting colder, and the sun was setting faster, and I prayed the bus would arrive, but I still had 20 minutes till it came. I thought about finding some place warmer to wait, but then I didn't want to risk the chance of missing the bus if it decided to come early, so I just sat on the park bench and waited. My clothes were beginning to smell, and even though I had tried to get as much of the chocolate milkshake off, I couldn't shake the stickiness was on my clothes that was beginning to cling to body.
A nice hot shower, was just what I needed when I got to the motel, and it was the first thing I did when I arrived. After checking myself in and walking to my room, lucky enough it was on the bottom floor so I didn't have multiple flights of stairs to climb, I threw my clothes off and jumped into the shower. I was eternally grateful for the complementary shampoo, conditioner and soap that was given and practically used it all, so I made a mental note that I would have to buy some more when I went downstairs to clean my clothes. Lucky for me the laundry mat was just next door to the motel, so I didn't have to walk far, it also happened to be joined up with a small supermarket.
As I walked through the isles, I tried looking for as many discounted things I could find. Since I knew that this would most likely eventually become my residential home for the next few months I decided to buy bigger portions than what I normally did, in hope that I could be saving some money.
After I had brought all that I needed, even some food, I made my way to the laundry mat, and started my load. I knew I would need to do two different loads one for whites and ones for darks, which probably meant that I could need to do two drying cycles as well, which wouldn't leave me much money left. I thought about just letting them air dry, but I wouldn't know where to hang them. I sat down on one of the old creaky chairs that was practically falling apart, I prayed that my baby weight wouldn't make the legs cave in and I would end up on the fall not being able to move. I perched my book on my belly, which I had read for the tenth time, and held it with one hand, while the other hand reached down for the day old sandwich I had just brought. I was starved. I felt terrible knowing that I wasn't giving my baby the proper care it needed, but I had been until I needed to leave home a week ago. Now all I kept thinking about was that I didn't want my baby to hate me, thinking I no longer wanted it, or wanted to take care of it. This baby was all I had left, and I knew I would do everything I could to make sure that by the time it was born it had a stable and healthy life to come into.
When I looked up from book, which I hadn't even begun reading because my over possessive mind kept talking, I heard a few people walk into the laundry mat, they didn't seem to know each other well, but they said hello and then went about their business. I was jealous I must admit, that even though they weren't friends, they still had someone to talk to if they wanted to; and here I was and had no one, even though back where I lived I had no one either.
Suddenly a couple walked in, they seemed to be around the age of 23, same age as me. They seemed so in love with one another, as if they were one unit, moving as one. I envied that too, it had been so long since I felt connected and loved by another. They whispered secretly to one another, and occasionally the girl would give out a giggle that made me look over, and she would smile. They seemed nice enough, even though I didn't know them. I returned back to my reading, hoping it would distract me from my thoughts, knowing that my washing cycle was far from over.
Chapter 2
I was tired after having a long day studying and then working. I didn't know how I was going to keep this up and look after another baby now that Momma was pregnant again. I already had my younger three siblings to look out for, and even though two of them were old enough to look after themselves, I know they still secretly relied on me to straighten things out. I was tired and got into bed, and just as I was about ready to close my eyes, I heard a tiny knock on my door. I knew who it was, she always knocked so quietly and carefully, almost as if she was terrified of who was behind the door.
"You can come in Elouise, I'm not going to bite." Her tiny head popped through the door, followed by her tiny footsteps she took slowly towards me.
"I promise." I said calmly to reassure her I wasn't upset, studying or in a grumpy mood. As soon as she heard the safeness in my voice she ran towards me and into my bed.
"Momma said I shouldn't come and bother you tonight, that you have had a big day." Elouise always listened to what momma said unless it regarded me, then she did whatever she thought was right.
"When momma tells you to do something, I hope you listen. We can't be getting momma upset now remember, it might hurt the baby and we don't want that."
"I know, but you seemed so sad and I wanted to help my big brother."
Elouise was five, the youngest of all of us, she had been what you might call the "mistake baby," but apparently she would have to give away her title in three months. She was very cheeky because she was the youngest and knew that she could get away with blue murder if she wanted to.
"I'm just fine Elouise, it has just been a long day, and an even longer one tomorrow. We need to get some rest."
"Can I sleep with you tonight, pretty please, just this once."
She had been saying just this once, twice a week since she learnt to walk. I could never refuse her, but often it meant that she'd steal the blanket and I would be left freezing my ass off.
"Just this once, but only if tomorrow you promise to be good."
"I'm always good Greyson, goodnight."
"Goodnight Elouise."
I laid awake for a while, but Elouise drifted right off to sleep. I laid awake because I was running a never ending tape of the endless amount of jobs that were waiting for me to do around the house tomorrow. Since dad was away again doing some job that required him to leave for a month, it was up to me, yet again. It's not that I minded helping out, but I sometimes missed having my own place, my own freedom to move around, come and go as I pleased, but nothing bet Mommas cooking, so coming back did have its pros. Thinking about it all put me into a drifted sleep and soon after I was dead asleep.
Chapter 3
I woke up in a cold sweat, and I had soaked the white bedsheets; great another thing I would have to wash, which meant using the remaining money I had. I really needed to get a job, and I prayed that from the fifteen resumes I handed out yesterday I would have some luck and it would be enough since I only had three left. I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom, a routine I had followed since I no longer wore a nappy. Nappies, something I would need to buy soon enough, which only made me think back the fact I needed to get a job. I saw a baby store on the main road yesterday, maybe I could apply there and hopefully get a discount, unlikely, but I added it to my to do list. Having a shower twice a day was not a luxury I could afford to have everyday, so instead I left it for the night. I washed my face and looked up at the mirror. I needed to present myself well today, so I took whatever make up I had managed to pack the night I left and laid it out on the bench. I looked down at it, and it wasn't much, but it was enough to make myself look presentable and taken seriously, even though I was 23 and eight months pregnant. I put on some mascara to try and give some length to my seriously short lashes and made an attempt at applying light foundation and some blush. That would have to do until I made enough money to buy some new products. Seemingly satisfied with my face, I made two braids on either side on my head and sprayed down any fly aways. This is going to have to do Alianna, it is the best you've got for now.
I walked back into the small bedroom that I would soon have to learn to call home, and made my way over to my freshly washed clothes. I missed this, I missed having my clothes washed and pressed for me, and neatly hung in my wardrobe by Henrietta, who was our house helper as mom liked to name it. But, thanks to Henrietta, who was a lovely little old women, she had taught me how to wash, dry and even fold clothes, just in case I ever needed to do it myself one day.
After last night, I had neatly folded and laid out my clothes into piles and placed them onto the small round table in my room. There was no wardrobe only one small draw with three draws. I hadn't gotten around to it last night, but it was something I would need to add to my list today. As my stomach grew I found it increasingly more difficult to find clothes to wear, and since I only had one pair of maternity black jeans, they were my only choice. In order to make the outfit seem more appropriate and professional I added a silk like light blush pink bell sleeved top, and black knee-high boots with a slight heel to give me some extra height that I desperately needed. Feeling somewhat confident I left the room and walked towards the bus stop.
Once I had finally arrived in town, it was already buzzing with people going in different directions quickly, it was almost as though I was in New York, except the people hear looked happier and engaged in conversation with another. I decided that I would go straight for the baby shop I had seen yesterday, praying they would accept my resume. I saw it by the corner of eye, it was bright with pale yellow and green colours, and had a large sign on top of the shop saying, "Bun in the over". This was my chance, and I was going to give it all I had, I opened the door, a little bell rang to let the owners know someone had entered; and just as I entered I was hit with the wonderful smell of a caramel and vanilla candle lit on the front desk.
"Good morning dear, you are up bring and early." A middle aged women, who was beautifully dressed in pastel colours, and long blonde hair walked towards me.
"Good morning, yes, I guess I am." I thought I would just straight in and ask. "I was wondering if you were hiring, maybe I could possibly drop my resume with you?"
She looked at me strangely as if I was crazy, and then let out a low chuckle. I couldn't understand why she looked at me funny, nor why she gave a low chuckle.
"Darlin, tell me, why do you want to work when you are almost due?
She wasn't making fun of me, or laughing at the idea of me working, she was concerned. The tone in her voice was worried and calming at the same time, and she seemed genuinely interested and concerned for me.
"I need the money."
I looked down in my hands, hopefully she wouldn't ask any more questions as I wasn't ready to start answering them. I just hoped she would accept my resume and let me be on my way. Instead to my surprise she didn't ask anymore questions, instead she said, "You are eight months pregnant, I don't need to ask, because I just know. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a job for a few weeks that is all. I can't give you more than a few weeks because it isn't good for you or the baby. You can come in every morning at 10, that way you can have some extra sleep for you and the baby, then you will work until 12, and have an hour for lunch, and a proper lunch, you must eat appropriately. Then you will come back and work till three o'clock. You will only do light work, no lifting or carrying. You will be paid $18 an hour. You can start today, how does all that sound?"
I had to hold back the tears in my eyes, this lady was incredible, truly my hero at this moment. She didn't know who I was and yet here she was giving me a job with all of these wonderful benefits, shorter working hours, and a great pay. I was completely shocked and grateful.
"I won't let you down. I will work hard at whatever job you give me."
"I know you will love, since you don't start until ten, and it is only nine-thirty; why don't you walk around the shop and familiarise yourself with what we have and get to know the store. If anyone walks in, just introduce yourself, and see if you can help, if not send them my way." She was perfect, she took my hands and helped me up.
"There is one last condition, if at any time, during the day or at night, you don't feel well or something goes wrong you call this number. It is my number, and I will come and help you. You are not alone, there are people who will help you."
She looked at me without pity, but with encouragement. It was as if she already knew my story and I hadn't even told her. She gave me a hug and walked away getting back to her jobs so I took the same lead and started to familiarise myself with the store.
Chapter 4
First thing on my list this morning was to go to the baby store in the main street; momma needed me to go and pick up some things she had pre-ordered. Considering Elouise was older and momma thought she was going to be the last baby, she had thrown everything out; but now that there was another on the way, she had to re-purchase a lot of things. Jumping in my truck, I started reversing, before I heard a thump on the side of the car. Damn that kid.
"Big bro, can I come into down with you, there are a few things I need to do."
"Dixon, the day you dint my car, is the day you can no longer walk."
Dixon was two years younger than me, and at 22, he thought he was the best thing he could offer the town. He shot me a smirk as he jumped into the truck.
"No worries big bro, no worries."
"Stop calling me that. What do you have to do in town?"
He was never up this early, nor was he ever dressed this nicely either, something was up.
"Never you mind big bro, you just head on straight into town."
I rolled my eyes and kept driving. More than likely whatever he was here for was going to get him into trouble either by momma or by the law, and neither ever ended smoothly.
"Well, as long as your in town, you can come to the store and help me carry the things momma bought into the truck." A low sign came from Dixon, but he knew he didn't have a choice, and wasn't getting out of it.
Once I pulled up by the store I got out and laid large white sheets in the back of the truck, just in case, you never knew what momma would buy, but if it was to come home dirty or scratched, you'd better start running. Dixon and I made our way into the store and the scent of caramel and vanilla candle burning filled my nose, just as the doors bell charmed.
"Mrs. Mac, Greyson and I are here, to pick up mommas order."
I shook my head at Dixon, he was obviously in a rush because he yelled out for Mrs. Mac instead of just waiting for her to come out. He had zero patience when the task wasn't for his benefit.
Instead of Mrs. Mac coming out, a younger, very pregnant, more beautiful women came out. She obviously was lucky enough to have the baby glow, or whatever it is that I hear momma talking about. She was beautiful, like an individual unique creation of God, that was made purely to be looked out, not touch; like a porcelain doll. She moved smoothy towards us, almost as if she wasn't carrying a heavy human inside her.
"Milkshake girl?"
Milkshake girl, why would my brother call her that? God he was an idiot, how girls fell for him was a mystery to me, he had no idea how to talk to them, and when he did, it always seemed to be rude.
This girl obviously had no idea what he was talking about because of her blank expression on her face; and before I could go in and save her from Dixon, he opened his mouth again.
"From yesterday, at the cafe, I spilt my milkshake all over you."
He was grinning, as if this was something to smile or laugh about. He was cursing for a bruising, how could he have spilt anything, let a lone a milkshake on the beautiful girl standing in front of me. No doubt she would have worn the milkshake well, if anyone could, I'm sure she could. I decided it was time for me to step in, she hadn't said anything and more than a minute and things were starting to get awkward. But her facial expression changed, and it seemed like now she had an understanding of who Dixon was.
"Sorry Miss, this is my brother Dixon, and I'm Greyson."
"It's nice to met you. I apologise for my brothers behaviour yesterday, he has no idea how to treat or respect women", I glared at Dixon. "I also apologise for anything that might happen from here on out."
"Come on big bro, I'm not that bad. It was just an honest mistake, tell him Ali."
Ali, since when did he think it was okay to give her a nickname, we had been here less than 10 minutes, he didn't know her, he didn't know her well enough to give her a nickname. I was getting angry and I had no idea why, I didn't even know the girl, so why was it bothering me so much.
"You said you were here to pick something up?"
Her sweet clear voice was music to my ears. She was obviously trying to hurry the process up, which I didn't like, I wanted to stay here longer and get to know her. I could see her twitching her fingers as she started to go red, were we making me nervous; I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. I decided this was my chance to get in a little more conversation before we had to leave, and hopefully before Dixon opened his mouth again.
"Yes, my momma ordered some things. They may be big pieces, so I can get Dixon to take the truck around to the back so that we wont have to drag the furniture or boxes through the store."
She looked at me and then at Dixon, who was no leaning against a tall set of draws with a smirk on his face. Was he really trying with her, she was pregnant, this boy had no chance.
"The car Dixon, take it around the back." I threw him the keys, and he threw me a glare, I needed him to get out of here, I wanted to be alone with her.
Chapter 5
"Let me look up your order." I walked over towards the counter as fast as I could without it making it look obvious, I needed to get away from him. He smiled as his watched over me, I didn't know what was happening, but I knew that I needed to get some distance and remember that I had a job to uphold. I got to the desk and looked for the order book, which to my surprise I found first go.
"What name shall I look under?" I tried to say it as calmly as I could, trying not to give away how nervous I was talking to an incredible gorgeous man. He moved over behind me, and leaned over the book. He placed one hand on the table, I assumed to hold his body, and with the other he confidently placed a finger on the edge of the book running his fingers down the alphabetised letters. He stopped when he came to the letter P.
"First lets try the letter P."
"P for?" I was trying to hide how nervous and excited I was to know more about his family, for what reason I wasn't sure, but something inside by bodying was stirring excitement to find out.
"Penelope, my momma."
He then ran his fingers through the list of orders that were written for the name P. He was moving about as though he had done this a million times and knew what he was looking for. He obviously picked up on my surprised and interest in the fact he was doing it so confidently.
"Mrs. Mac lets me look through her order book when she is too busy with a customer. I know how the book works, so I usually look up my mommas name, see what she ordered and collect it."
So he was a regular customer, he did this sought of thing for his momma all the time. His confidence was a breath of fresh air, I would never or have I ever been that confident in my life. I had always wished in my life be that confident, but I never was. He really was quite attractive, and the fact that he was doing things for his momma and did them often, made him only even more attractive.
"Ow" I whispered. The little human inside me kicked me, I grabbed onto the desk because it was quite a forceful kick. The little human was reminding me that they existed, and that my behaviour was most likely inappropriate.
"Are you all right?" Greyson looked in my direction, and I almost melted from the grey and green dreamy eyes looking straight into my own. As I placed my hand on my stomach, he also followed my hands with his eyes.
"You need to tell me if you are all right?" This time his voice was stern and serious.
"Yes, sorry. I am fine, it was the baby, it was a big kick."
His frown turned into a large smile, he even had perfectly perl white teeth.
"Got yourself a little quarterback." He grinned.
"I'm not sure of the gender, my…the…" I stoped, what was I meant to say, this baby no longer had a father, and I no longer had a partner. I was now flushed with embarrassment and memories of the exact moment my baby lost his father.
"Yo, love birds. Do we have an order to collect of what? Remember I have things to do today." Thank god for the interruption from Dixon, because I wasn't sure how I was going to make up a cover story and I didn't really want to lie; and I didn't want to put Greyson in any more discomfort.
"Right, the order. It is all the boxes to the left of the container. I will come and help." I turned around quickly avoiding eye contact with Greyson, and moved towards the container we held out back that store all of our deliveries.
"You can tell us which are ours, but you are not allowed to pick anything up. Do you understand?"
I nodded. He was being careful and cautious of my state, which I appreciated purely because I probably wouldn't have been able to lift the boxes anyway.
"Well, miss, thank you for the order. We hope to see you around soon." Dixon nodded and hopped into the truck.
"Tell Mrs. Mac sorry we missed her, but I enjoyed her replacement more. I hope I will see you around."
Just like that Greyson nodded and hopped into the truck, while I stood there grinning like a little girl who was getting an ice-cream.
Chapter 6
"What do you have to do today, that you're in a rush to get to?"
"I've just got places to be, people to see.'' Dixon was jumping out of the truck, when I pulled him back by his shirt.
"Listen momma can't afford for you to go and get yourself into trouble, it isn't good for her or the baby."
"Don't you worry big bro, this might be just the thing to stop me from getting into trouble."
He sounded serious, like he might no actually be getting himself into trouble this time, so I let go of his shirt and watched him walk away. I still couldn't take the chance, momma didn't need this right now, and I wasn't going to be around long enough to clean up the mess. I decided to ring up a few friends I knew who were like the secret eyes of the town, I let them know where Dixon was and to report anything they found out. I knew it seemed like a breach of his privacy
I drove around town for the next few hours finishing off the jobs that momma has sent me off to do; and by the time I had finished, it was passed noon, and my stomach could no longer hold out for food. I headed for Jack's.
Walking into Jack's was like walking into a zoo, there were always people there, at all hours of the day. It was like a gathering hall. It was a quiet and reserved place during the day, when mostly families would come in, and quiet often those who were on their lunch break. Then at night, the place livened up a bit, the younger crowds would fill the place, and rack up pool games. I walked towards the counter, already knowing what I was going to order, I didn't need a menu, I just new. I saved to a few people I knew, and nodded to a few others, there wasn't any way you could enter Jack's without being caught out by somebody else. This definitely wasn't the place you would come to be alone with someone. As I turned back around to face the counter, from the corner of my eye I saw her. She was sitting alone, looking around and watching her surroundings, admiring the way they interacted with one another, and the look in her eye, almost made it seem as though she wished to be apart of it.
"Where you sitting today Greyson?"
I pointed over to where she was sitting, I didn't care if everyone saw, or if everyone talked about it. I had to know her.
"Son, you sure about it? Don't you think it is a little soon?" I glared at Mr. Mason. I knew what he was referring to, but I didn't care. All I cared about was sitting on her table.
"Order for Greyson, table 23."
I made my over to table 23. Alianna looked around nervously when she had finally noticed I was making my way towards. "Is this seat taken?" She smirked at me. Like she knew I was up to something. It was as if she already new what I was planning on doing before I even knew. But she willingly extended her hand in the direction of the chair in front of her. I could do this.
"I didn't know you were going to be here." I truly didn't, but I was glad she was. She smirked again, and took a sit of her water.
"Neither did I, but we couldn't resist." She pointed down at the baby, I guessed she was indicating that this was a craving she was having.
"What else have you been craving?" I asked her. She looked shocked. I knew about babies. I had watched my momma raise all of us, I knew what happened, and each time I learnt something knew and different. But she seemed uncomfortable with the question, so I eased the tension.
"Momma normally has a craving for dried bananas, completely out of the blue. Occasionally she has called one of us in the middle of the night to get her some from the kitchen." She seemed to relax her shoulders, almost as though she was loosening up. "It was Dixon's turn last night." She finally looked up from her plate, and looked up and me slowly before giving an award winning grin.
"I used to crave only salted caramel popcorn, then I went through the phase of pickles, and now it is fast food." She didn't hold back as she ate, and I liked that. She ate her burger like she was eating BBQ ribs, and she allowed the sauce to run down her finger right before she would extend her tongue and slowly lick it back up. That turned me on. She double-dipped her chips confidently into the tomato sauce piled on her plate.
She caught me watching her and looked away in embarrassment. I didn't want her to think it mattered to me, because it didn't. I liked a girl that could eat more than a salad, and eat it confidently, or without having to throw it back up half an hour later.
"There is no need to look away." I said placed my hand under her chin and moved her face to face mine. "I like watching you eat."
I heard a cough behind me, which I recognised to be Mr. Masons. "Order for Mr. Greyson." I automatically removed my hand from under Alianna chin, not because I was embarrassed, but because I didn't want her to be. She was new, and I didn't want anyone assuming things about her that weren't true.
Chapter 7
My body was still getting over his touch five minutes later. It was almost as though it couldn't control itself. I had to blame it on the pregnancy, there couldn't be any other explanation. Why had I allowed him to share the table with me, I knew I couldn't have been able to control myself. As for my eating, I might as well have gotten down on four knees and ate like a pig. It hadn't even registered to me that he would be watching me eat, I was just too hungry and the baby was begging me to finish it as fast as I could.
"So your momma is pregnant?"
"Yep, for the fifth time." Five children! She had gone through pregnancy and labour four times, and she was willing to do it again. I was impressed by her pure strength that not only her body had, but her mind. I was struggling to come to terms with my own baby, and how I would raise one child.
"There is me, Dixon, who you unfortunately had to meet, his two years younger than me. Then there is Maryann who is nineteen. Then momma accidentally fell pregnant with Elouise who is five."
"Your house must always be buzzing with excitement." I couldn't think of anything else to say. It was as if all the words in the world had disappeared, and only a few remained.
"It is definitely something. Especially at dinner time. When everyone gets back from their long days out, they all want to share at the same time, so it is constant talking and yelling. But its better when you sit back and watch it unfold, makes you laugh, I miss that the most when I leave."
He spoke with confidence and ease, like the words had been rehearsed multiple times, so that when they had to come out, they were fluent and perfectly strung together.
"When you leave?" I asked with curiosity.
"Yeah, I work a few hours away. I live there, and come down in the summer, and every second weekend. But right now my dads job took him all the way to New York for a month maybe more, and because it's getting colder, and momma needs the help, I came down."
"Do they rely on you a lot?"
"I think they do."
"Does it bother you?"
"I wouldn't say it bothers me. I love my family, and I would do anything for them. But, I do love the privacy I get when I go back, knowing it is just me myself and I. Knowing I can walk around naked when and if I wanted too."
I crossed my legs together as tight as I could. The idea of him naked didn't escape my mind. In fact my mind played on the idea for quite a while as her kept talking; and the more I pictured it, the tighter I crossed my legs.
"Are you okay?" Crap, he could tell. I obviously wasn't doing a good job at hiding what he was doing to me.
"Mhmm." I could only manage to mumble. My breathing was growing heavier and faster. I had to pin this down to the sexual pregnancy urges that I was starting to learn about all over again. I had experienced this months ago constantly when I was with my baby's daddy, and they had always been addressed; but I hadn't experienced them again until this moment.
"Do you need a hand." Yes, yours please I thought to myself, and my mind started to flourish with the ideas and miracles I knew his hands would be able to do.
"No, no. I'm fine. Must have been a hot flush passing through." I tried to stay calm, cool and collected; but I could tell I was not acting it out very well.
"Was it me talking about myself naked? I know it does it for a lot of girls. Am I having an effect on you already. Imagine when I am actually touching you." He winked. I had to get out of this restaurant, my body couldn't take it anymore. I was going to explode. I could feel the blood pulsating through my veins, my heart was racing fast and I could no longer breath. I stood up as fast as I could.
"I have to go." I ran, well it probably looked more like I was wobbling quickly out of the restaurant. Either way I was out of there.
Chapter 8:
Two weeks later I was still think about Alianna, and I knew she had to be thinking about me. After how she had reacted to me touching her at the restaurant, watching her squirm and look comfortably uncomfortably, I had to be right.
"Grey!" Dixon threw the ball at me. He had been begging to play a game since I had gotten back, but time slipped out of my hand faster than it came.
"Are you still thinking about her?" On more than one occasion I had asked momma about Alianna. I knew that momma was constantly going into the baby shop to buy things, or to attend
"mom and bubs" class, so I knew she would be seeing her. Which meant that on those occasions, Dixon would catch onto the fact that I was asking.
"No! Just throw me the ball." The smirk on his face meant he knew I was lying.
"Momma invited her over." I froze, ball in my hand about to be thrown.
"She did what?" I lowered my hand. I knew Dixon was lying, momma wouldn't have asked anyone over; she didn't like people over when she was pregnant and couldn't act like a proper host.
"Yes, she did, go in and ask."
I, what may have actually looked like storming, walked inside as calmly as I could. I yelled from momma, but I couldn't hear her call back, I assumed this meant she was upstairs. I took stairs two at a time calling out mommas name until I finally heard her yell back. I followed her voice, until I made it to the nursery she was sitting in.
"Looks good doesn't it?" Momma prided herself of changing the nursery each time a new baby was born. She liked the idea of us all sharing the same nursery, but it changing every time their was a new baby.
"You've done well momma!"
"What is it you are yelling the house down for?" I walked around looking at the different pieces, that Dixon and I had carried in last week. I didn't want her to see my face when I asked about Alianna, although she would pick up the tone in my voice.
"Dixon said you invited Alianna over?" She tried to hold back a laugh, but I could hear her chuckle.
"I did, tonight."
"Tonight!" I said a little to shocked and excited. I knew it wouldn't go unnoticed. This didn't leave me much time to prepare. Prepare for what I wasn't sure, but I felt like I needed to prepare, make it all look presentable for momma, yes, I would say I was doing this for momma.
"Yes, and I want you to be on your best behaviour." I chuckled and turned to momma.
"I am always on my best behaviour."
"I'm not as clueless as you think I am Greyson, your mommas got eyes." She tapped me on the shoulder and walked out of the room.
Chapter 9
I love my baby, I loved every inch of my belly, and I loved that I was creating a human inside of me. But at this very moment, as I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, my baby belly was making me go crazy. I had been standing looking at my clothes laid once in nice piles, but now into a mess on my bed, for a long time. I couldn't find a single thing to wear. My belly was growing bigger and bigger considering I only had a few weeks left till I was due. It was cold outside, but I was always getting hot. The bigger the baby grew, the heavier it got, which meant the more work I had to put in and the hotter I became. I was driving myself crazy.
Eventually, twenty minutes later I had decided on an outfit. I wore my summer blue dress on top of black leggings, and short black ankle boots. I grabbed my coat on the way out and started walking towards the bus stop. This was the last bus that I would be able to catch for the night, and it stopped not to far from my destination. I had to think of how I was going to get home. Now that I was getting bigger, walking for long distances was something I could no longer do without breaking out into a sweat, and my legs aching.
Arriving at Greyson's house was exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. I had met Penelope several times, and we had even begun taking the same baby classes at the store; which conveniently were scheduled to after I finished my shifts. Unfortunately this week was my last week at work. Julienne was an incredible flexibly boss, but she was strict at me not working once I began heavily pregnant. Luckily I had gathered some money, and I still had some left over from when I moved. She agreed that I needed to rest for the first weeks after the baby was born, but I had a job and I could bring the baby in. She was also generous enough to allow me to take the stock that was not sold, and either let me have it for free or at a very cheap price.
As I approached the front steps of the house, I could already hear the cheerful conversations that were occurring, I almost wanted to turn around and walk away, afraid that I might ruin it. Penelope was very generous in inviting me over tonight for dinner. She had suggested it after we had finished one of our many classes.
Nervously, I rang the door bell. Tiny footsteps rushed towards the door, and when it opened a little girl, who I could only guess to be Elouise was standing there with a wide smile on her face.
"Momma told me to welcome you into out home." She grabbed my hand softly and lead me inside and into the lounge room, where everyone was sitting.
"Alianna, welcome to our home." Penelope walked towards me. "Please, come sit." I made my way across the living room to the couch sitting next to Elouise. "We are very glad you could make it tonight. We didn't want you having dinner on your own while you're so close to being due. How long left"
"Thank you, I appreciate it. Well, officially less than two weeks, but it could be any day now."
"Have you got everything sorted and ready?" I felt uncomfortable when people asked me this question. People on the street who I would pass by every morning on the way to work, started to ask me this question. It's not that I didn't want to talk about my pregnancy, but because I had moved so quickly, with only some money; I didn't have enough to buy everything I needed.
"Julienne has been kind enough to let me take the stock not sold. And I have stocked up on nappies, buying them when they are on sale."
"And the crib, pram, bouncer?"
"Unfortunately, I don't have any of those things. I am still saving up."
"But, where will the baby sleep?" Elouise asked.
"With me, for now, until I can afford to buy a cot."
"Nonsense, you will have the my old one. I made the boys go into town the other week to pick up the new one I had purchased. You will take the old one. Please let me do this for you sweetheart."
I felt terrible for thinking about saying yes, I couldn't do that, it wasn't right.
"No, no, please it is all right. I will have the money soon enough, and I will be able to purchase one." Although I knew this wasn't true, I didn't want to give them any reason to believe otherwise more than I already had.
"Dinner is ready." I heard another female voice call out, one I assumed to be Maryann.
"Greyson, help Alianna up." She saw that I was trying to do it on my own. "Don't be shy dear, they all know what it is like to have a pregnant momma. They know it can be difficult to move around sometimes. Please let my family help in any way they can."
Greyson was walking towards me. Up until this point of the night, our interaction hadn't existed. But I felt him watching me the entire time I was talking to his momma. It took all that I had not to turn and face him, but I knew everyone would have been watching. Knowing that he was going to help me up, firstly did ease my worries because it was becoming increasingly difficult to move about and left myself up. But knowing he was going to touch me, even just my hands, sent my body spiralling. I couldn't control it, I was getting shivers, and going red with hot flushes all at once.
"Alianna?" Greyson said in a deep voice as he extended his hand out to me.
I tried only grabbing onto his hand slightly and move my body on my own; but it was no use, I couldn't do it; I needed more stability than his hand. I reached higher and grabbed hold on his biceps, and the gleeful moan that came from his chest was unmissable.
"I apologise, normally I can do this on my own."
"Please, there is no need to apologise." He said leading me into the room and directing me to my chair. As I sat down, Greyson leaned down to sit beside me, but not before he whispered, "I know you enjoy when I touched you."
Chapter 10
Sitting next to Alianna was planned, I had asked Elouise to swap places with me, and in return I could have to attend one of her tea parties. A trade I was willing to make. I needed to be near her, smell her, feel her.
"Thank you Maryann, you have prepared a lovely meal. We are very grateful."
"You are welcome momma."
"So Alianna, what will you be still working at Mrs. Mac shop?" Dixon asked her. I was mad that he was asking her such personal questions, but I couldn't lie was I was curious myself.
"I will be. Today we had a discussion about what will happen once the baby is born. And we have come to the agreement that I will take a few weeks off and settle in, and then I can start back at work, and bring the baby in with me. She has been very kind."
"She has a heart of gold dear. She will always take care of you, she has been like that since we were kids." Penelope said to her with a grin.
"How long are you here for?" Maryann asked curiously.
"Right now, it seems as though I will be here for a while. There is nothing left for me back at home."
My feelings of happiness, was suppressed by my feelings of sadness for her. Knowing she had no one waiting for her at home, made me angry. Why did she not have anyone she could turn to? Where was the father of this baby? How could anyone leave a heavily pregnant women on her own.
"Well, you are more than welcome here." Elouise told her. I was glad there was at least one of them with their head screwed on.
Making her walk home wasn't an option, I knew that, and as soon as momma found out that she would be walking, she wouldn't let it be an option either.
"How will you be getting home?" I asked her in front of momma, knowing she would have to say she was walking. No buses ran this late at night.
"I'll just call a taxi."
"That is just nonsense. You will be waiting far to long, and they will overcharge you. Greyson, start the truck, you are taking her home."
"Yes momma."
I walked towards her apartment, carrying some of the wooden pieces to make the cot momma had given her. Alianna was reluctant at first to accept it, but momma had convinced her that she needed to take it.
She opened the door, and I was stunned by the condition of the room. Aside from the fact that I was upset she was living here, this place wasn't clean, and defiantly not fit for a pregnant women or her baby. Her clothes were everywhere. I had seen this more than once before in Maryanne's room.
"Is there no wardrobe for your clothes?" She blushed as she looked at me, and she let her head drop down, like she had done something wrong.
"This is embarrassing." She said as I walked towards her, and I tiled her head forward with her chin.
"Do not be embarrassed when you are with me. What happened?"
"I am too fat for my clothes." She plumped herself on her bed, on top of her clothes, and laid back. Her belly had grown immensely since the last time I had seen her. It was starting to drop, but it was very perky. I was not new to these types of feelings, I had heard momma crying and yelling countless times because she never had anything to wear when she was in her third trimester. I would always run up and see if she was okay, thinking something bad had happened; but I would always find her room in the same condition Alianna's. Clothes everywhere.
"You looked beautiful tonight." I knew better than to tell her that she didn't look fat. Of course she didn't. Everything about her was perfect, she wore pregnancy well. But more than once I had tried to tell momma she wasn't fat, and that never ending well.
"You are just saying that, because you know it's not true." She sat up. She was grumpy. Her hormones were definitely in full speed. I smiled at her with a little chuckle, and moved to sit down beside her. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was looking for affection and validation, which I understood. Generally, the fathers baby would be here, reminding her how beautiful she was, I had seen my dad do it countless times for my momma. I wanted to do that for her. I wanted to so badly. I wanted to hold her in my arms, and show and tell her how beautiful she looked.
I caressed her face, knowing too well where this would lead me, and knowing that I couldn't do that to her. She reacted to my touch instantly. She didn't pull away, she gently pushed her face closer to me, almost as if she thought I couldn't notice. But I noticed everything she did, she just didn't know it yet.
"I think you should have a bath, it will calm the baby." I was careful not to say that it will calm her down, because I knew it would, it always helped momma, but I had learnt to say the baby needed it.
"Will you still be here when I get out?" She was making it impossible for me to just sit her watching her. The way her lips moved when she talking, was so smooth and irresistible.
"Only if you want me to be." I prayed that she would ask me to stay, but I couldn't ask that of her, she had to come to that decision on her own. Of course, I would respect either decision she made.
She nodded. I knew, the moment she nodded, that I had won her trust. She lifted her hand slowly and drew it towards my the top of my arms. She then began running her fingers up and down my arm, I was going to loose it. I couldn't sit here anymore, I needed to distance myself. I wouldn't be able to stop if I started.
"Alianna." She nodded without looking at me, but kept her eyes fixed on my arm as she bit her lip.
"You need to stop. I wont be able to stop myself if you keep going." She didn't stop. She kept going. She trailed her fingers all the way down my arm, and then crossed over to the bottom on my stomach and up my chest."
"It's not fair if you are touching me, and I don't get to touch you." She stopped moving her finger and looked up at me. The excitement never left her eyes, but she became worried. I smiled at her, just to ensuring that I was playfully joking.
I knew what was happening. This wasn't her. This was those damn hormones. More than once I had heard momma and dad at it, and it was always because during her final trimester she would become very needed. I knew the same thing was happening now. Pushing those uncomfortable thoughts aside, I lifted her chin till our eyes met.
"I can release the pressure babe, but only if you want me to."
I had no problem letting her use me. I knew her body was going through multiple changes, and I knew she needed reassurance that she was still beautiful. Of course, I wouldn't mind either, she was beautiful, and I wanted in for so many reasons.
She nodded again. She moved her body slowly, I could tell it was difficult; but she moved until her back was against the head board.
Chapter 11
I had clearly lost my mind. I had no idea what I was doing. My raging hormones had taken over, and were so powerful I couldn't control it. My body was moving and doing things my mind couldn't keep up with. I had no idea how to control myself. Then it hit me. It hit me hard enough that it shocked my body and it stopped asking for trouble. I wasn't ready. Not that I wasn't ready mentally, because I knew what my body wanted and I was ready for that. More than ready. But I wasn't physically ready. Not only was I not attractive with my massive baby bump, that would surely without a doubt get in the way. I wasn't shaved, I wasn't fresh, I hadn't cleaned myself up. I didn't know this was going to happen. I wanted it to happen so many times of course, and I had been thinking about it constantly since I met him, but I didn't think it would happen. I jerked my legs as close as I could to my body and I knew it wouldn't go unnoticed.
"What's wrong?" He stopped still like a statue at the end of my bed standing up.
"I…, uh." What was I meant to say, I haven't shaved any part of my body, my body is full of stretch marks and looked completely different?
"We don't have to do this Alianna." How could I say no? Of course I want to, but you don't know how bad my body looks, was all I wanted to scream to him. I was getting really frustrated and angry that this was happening, that I was allowing myself to feel so insecure.
"Maybe I should leave." He turned around and started walking towards the door. This was my chance to do something.
"NO, STOP." I screamed before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth. Slowly Greyson turned back around, almost as if he was too scared of what might happen next.
"Okay, I'll stay." He lifted his hands in the air, and then pointed them towards the chair as he moved to sit down across he room. Obviously I had put him off, and now any chances that I had were gone.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay, I understand."
I hopped off the bed and began pacing back and forth, I don't even know why, but I was. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour, faster that I knew how to control. I couldn't even register my thoughts into a single sentence.
"Why don't you sit down on the bed?" He was being sincere and kind, I was at a loss of what to do.
"I normally don't act this way in front of anyone. Normally I can control myself. Well, normally this doesn't happen, but throughout the pregnancy, I get all these emotions and I don't know how to control them." I was rambling, I could hear myself rambling, I wasn't making any sense.
"You haven't done anything wrong." He stood up from the chair and started walking across the room towards me, smiling.
"You are a beautiful mom, who is experiencing a range of emotions that are perfectly normal."
He placed his hands on my hips. My body immediately reacted to his touch and he noticed it because a smile crooked his face. My brain didn't have time to control itself, or control my body. He moved his hands up my stomach and then up my arm, caressing it as he moved slowly. I moved to every touch, wanting more. My body craved his touch. He knew exactly what he was doing, and in that split second it concerned me, and I became confused. I wasn't stupid, I knew where this was going, I just couldn't understand why he would want to do this with someone who was pregnant. There were so many beautiful girls around town, I had seen them; I didn't understand what kick he was going to get from a pregnant women. It didn't stop me though, it didn't make me push him away.
"I don't want to hurt the baby." The baby, why was he concerned about the baby?
"The baby?"
"Yeah the baby; you know the human you are beautifully growing inside you."
He was worried about my baby? Surely not, even if he was, he wasn't going to hurt it, the doctor had explained to me that having sex isn't an issue.
"Its fine, the doctors all say it's okay to…" I didn't want to say it, just in case that wasn't what he was implying, this didn't need to become awkward.
"To have sex, trust me I know." Why did he know these things, but more importantly why wasn't in bothering me right now? I knew tomorrow I would be frustrated at the comments he had been making, and I knew that I would have only a million and one questions; but right now my mouth wasn't verbalising them. My body wasn't even jerking itself away.
"My parents, I have heard them, on countless occasions. That's how I knew." He must have read my facial expressions, otherwise he wouldn't have known to justify himself. My damm facial expressions were always the one thing I couldn't hide.
Chapter 12
She was so beautiful, I couldn't control my eyes looking at her all over. She was absolutely beautiful! I was jealous of the man who had gotten her pregnant. I was jealous that he got to love her, and create what will be a beautiful baby.
"You are so incredible beautiful." I cupped her face with my hands. She wasn't rejecting me and I was glad, I loved being near her, and close enough to touch her.
I moved my hands away from her face and moved them to the back of her hips and pulled her closer, always being mindful of the baby. I watched her facial expressions carefully. She wasn't verbalising what she was thinking, but she didn't need to, her face did all the talking for her. I began lowering me head towards her, and almost instantaneously she moved her neck back, she knew what she was doing, but more importantly, she knew what she wanted; and that made her undoubtably sexy.
"You will tell me when it gets to much, when you want me to stop." I whispered into her ear. A little murmur came from her, which I took as yes. I moved my head down until my lips were close to her neck. I wanted to playfully tease her.
"Please!" She was begging, she was starting to make this difficult. I had never spent much time or attention to the little details, usually I got straight to the point, and majority of the times the girls I had been with followed in suit. But hearing her beg was an entirely different story, I wanted to give her pleasure, I wanted her to enjoy every moment, I wanted her to want me as much as I wanted her. I gently touched her neck with my lips, and the moan that was realised from her was intoxicating. I trailed kisses down her neck and to her collarbone, whilst at the same time I traced my fingers in circles around her body; and with the other hand, held it firm on her back keeping her steady and standing.
"Why are you taking forever?" She whispered in my ear, while she trailed her fingers up my arm and then around my neck pulling me closer. I decided there and then that she wasn't a precious china doll I needed to be careful with, she knew what she was doing.
Chapter 13
I appreciated what he was trying to do by taking his time, making me feel comfortable and special; but this wasn't my first time, clearly, and my hormones were bursting. I was happy for him to do all those wonderful things the second time around, if there was one, but right now my body wanted something quick and fast to release its excitement.
"I want this to be special for you." After he had said that I decided that I needed to take matters into my own hands. I couldn't wait any longer, my body wouldn't wait any longer. The pressure building up inside me needed its release.
"It will be, the next time." I whispered into his ear softly.
"The next time?" He stopped and looked down at me with a cheeky grin. God he was sexy, my entire body was aching, I needed him touching me, not teasing me. I pouted and put my hands on my hips, I knew it would work a charm.
"You are so darn beautiful." He, what I could only describe as being rough yet swift and sweetly, pick me up, as though I was as light as a feather and placed me on my bed. I giggled I couldn't help myself, I was enjoying the moment, praying it would last forever. Greyson moved his hands up on the outside of my legs until he reached the elastic waistband of my pants. He paused, and I knew he was teasing me on purpose. I grabbed his hands, and squeezed them, giving him full permission that he was allowed to take them off. And he did gracefully and respectfully. He pulled them down over my knees and down to my ankles before gently taking each foot out.
Greyson moved towards me until he was leaning over me, gently opening my legs at my knees so that he could fall between them. He moved his hands up my legs slowly, knowing he was doing the exact opposite of what I wanted, but knew I would enjoy it anyway.
Then it started, he trailed light kisses from my ankles all the way up to my knees, he stopped, knowing to well that I didn't want him to; but I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to make sure that I was still okay with what was happening. My body went spiralling the moment he spread my legs wider and trailed kisses slowly in-between my thighs. "You smell like heaven." I could feel him nuzzling his way right up towards my heat. I couldn't fight the urge anymore, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold on for, I was without a doubt, going to explode.
"Greyson please!" I grabbed onto his shoulders with my nails, feeling confident that it was going to leave a mark. "I love when you call out to me." I threw my hands over my eyes, I couldn't do it. Just as I was prepared to move into the bathroom and finish the job myself, I felt his warm fingers inside me. I yelled out in both excitement and pleasure, I had longed for this kind of pleasure and release, it had been so long.
Chapter 14
I watched her sleeping next to me. She was so beautiful and graceful. She was tired, I could tell just by hearing her heavy breathing, she was exhausted, this baby had tired her out. I didn't want to get up and move, she was laying so peacefully in my arms, I wanted to stay here for the rest of my life. She wriggled in my arms, a sure sign she would soon wake up. I needed to go, the guys were waiting for me at the court, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I could see my phone vibrating across the room on the table, it would be Brady calling, no doubt, telling me to get my arse to the court, they hated waiting to start the game. I moved my arm out from under her slowly, but my body jolted when I heard long banging on the door. Surely the guys didn't know where I was. I walked slowly, and surely enough it was Brady calling, I answered.
"Where are you man, we have been waiting for half an hour! I swear to God if your with a girl you're in trouble you know the rules about game day." He was talking so loudly through the phone I was afraid it would wake Alianna up. "Brady that rule is old as!" He was a hypochondriac, who had to overdramatise everything. "Get your arse down here now Greyson!" There was no shaking him off, "I'll be there in 15."
I quickly got my things together, and wrote Alianna a note for when she would wake up.
Something came up, call you later. G
I didn't like leaving a note, but waking her up wasn't a wise move, it was probably the best sleep she had had since getting pregnant. I slowly opened the door, praying the rays of sun beaming through the door wouldn't wake her up.
I made it down to the court in less than 15 minutes, hopefully that would shut the guys up a little more, knowing all too well I would get the third degree.
"All those seen fraternising with the enemy on game day, automatically sits out on the first 20 minutes of the game. Captains rules. Isn't that right captain?"
"They aren't the enemy Brady, West Side are."
"Women are our enemies on game day." I had only made the stupid rules to stop the guys on the team from getting arguments. I was sick of having to pull their faces off the ground after they got into arguments because they had shared a girl.
"Just pass me the ball, we have practice."
"Not until you give us the details."
"Not you too Coden"
"If caught fraternising with the enemy on game day, the player is to automatically provide appropriate details for all other team players. Captains rules. You are the captain are you not Greyson?"
They were playing me. They loved to grill me when I stepped out of line because it rarely happened; I always tried to set a good example for the boys.
"I was at home."
"Lies, I was just at home." Damn Dixon, why did my brother have to share friends with me.
"He was with Alianna."
"Alianna, hey, and who is this new girl we are hearing of?"
"Let's shoot for teams." Anything to distract this lot from knowing anything about her.
"She's new in town." My brother wasn't going to last another night. "She just moved here, she's pregnant." All eyes turned to me, I kept shooting, pretending not to hear the conversation happening, but if they said one bad word, I would be forced to intervene.
"Are you playing house?" All the boys erupted into laughter.
"Enough, shoot for hops." They all heard the stern voice I had put on, and they understood to drop the subject, and they did so quickly. I didn't mind that they knew, but I was worried about the comments they would make, and the assumptions that would follow.
Chapter 15
I had never felt this kind of pain before. It was excruciating. I felt like every limb in my body was being pulled from me. No one had warned me this would happen, they had tried to, but I didn't listen. I told them I could handle it, that I could be careful and prepared for when this moment would come. But nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen. I didn't know who to call, I had no one here, the best I could do is call for a taxi, which is what I did. It took him 45 minutes to get to my apartment building, and they were the longest 45 minutes known to man. I was waiting at the front go the building when he arrived, and he was no less than flabbergasted when he saw me.
"Miss, young lady. You need an ambulance." No shit Sherlock, I thought to myself. But I couldn't afford to have an ambulance, and I knew I would have time before the baby was born, surely.
"No, no, I don't. I just need you to drive me to the hospital."
"No, miss…, I cannot do that."
"No, it is okay, you can. The baby is a long way away, these are just pre contractions. Now help me in please." I was going to have to squeeze my legs as tight as I could.
"The ambulance is on its way driver, you can wait if you want, but I will be here."
I had no idea who this guy was standing behind me taking charge, calling an ambulance I had no money to pay for.
"No really, it is okay. I can't afford an ambulance, and the baby isn't even on it's w…"
I was cut off by the splashing noise, the wetness I could feel down my legs. Surely this was not happening, there is no ways this could be happening to me, right now. My water had just broken. I felt two arms wrap around me and move me closer to their body, practically taking on all my body weight, which at this current point was like carrying an elephant.
"We need to get you inside, where is your room?"
"Shit, that's too far, you are going to have to go to mine. Mr. Taxi Driver, please go to the reception and alert them of this situation, and that we need clear towels and hot water."
"You know what to do." I asked the strange guy, who I still didn't know the name of, and who was practically carrying me to what I assume his apartment.
"Nope, no clue."
"But you…"
"I've heard it on so many movies and tv-shows before, I have no idea what towels and hot water is used for, but I'd assume it must be important if they have mentioned it every time. So I guess, I'll figure out what to do with it when the time comes."
I must admit, in the midst of my pain, that did make me laugh.
"Alright, here we go, take a seat on the bed." I did as he said, mostly because there wasn't anything else I could do, then continue screaming like I had been. I watched him pace back and forth, and it was clear he really did have no idea about what to do.
"Do you feel like the baby is coming?"
"Like out, is it coming out, or soon to?"
"I've never had a baby before, how am I meant to know?" I screamed again, even louder this time, I was starting to get worried for his neighbours.
"Okay that's it lie down." He moved quickly around the bed, pilling pillows behind my head and back. And then he began lying towels at the bottom of my legs. He then preceded to pull out a suitcase, in which he began lining with towels.
"Are you packing to go somewhere?"
"It's for the baby?"
I was out of breathe, and words couldn't come to me.
"My baby?"
"Yes, your baby. Now I know we are strangers, and Grey would kill me if he knew I was doing this…but I need to take a look…"
"Take a look at what?" He knelt down at the foot of the bed, surely he was not thinking of doing what I thought he was.
"You don't know even know what towels and hot water is for, and you want to deliver my baby?"
"Well, in my defence, I did find a good reason for the towels, I assume the hot water might be to clean something as we go or after."
"This has to be a joke, this cant be happening." I couldn't hold back the screams anymore, I could feel this baby coming, it was begging to come out I could feel it. I had to trust this stranger in front of me, I couldn't do it, I didn't know him, I would just have to keep holding off until the ambulance came.
"Okay, my mum is a midwife, now let me just call her to see what I can do." I nodded to his response, praying this would work. He rummaged his pockets for his phone until he found it, and within two rings someone answered the phone.
"Okay mum, you are on loudspeaker, what do I do."
"Do about what Jason?"
"Mom, Alianna, I think she is going to give birth, I'm the only one here."
"Alianna, you are going to be perfectly fine, do you hear me. We are going to go through this step by step"
"I hear you."
"Now, you are going to have to let Jason take a look at you, it is the only way I will know how close you are to giving birth."
"I guess I don't really have a choice do I?"
"Not in this matter hunny, when you are ready, let Jason know and I'll take him step by step through the process."
I couldn't believe what I was about to do. All I had wanted to do was go to the hospital, but I knew I wouldn't have made it back in time, I would have had to make the poor taxi man pull over. I didn't know this guy from a bar of soap, but he seemed to be trustworthy enough. Slowly, I lifted my legs up, until my knees were at my knees, but I kept my eyes closed and my knees tight.
"I can't do this, I'm sorry I just cant."
I could hear Jason's mum over the phone. "Alianna my dear, I need you to do something, I need you to think of the baby, our next few decisions are crucial for the baby. You need to be strong and brave. Can you do that for your precious baby?"
I had no choice, this was it. I slid my hand up the bottom of my dress until my hands were at my hips. It was just me and Jason in the room. I slowly slid my panties down to my knees, but I couldn't make it any further. I felt a hand touch mine, and then I locked eyes with Jason.
"I promise to do everything I can, please know I am taking this extremely seriously, it is all about the baby now."
He took my panties and pulled them all the way down to my ankles before folding them and placing them to the side. I appreciated in that moment, that he had wanted to make me feel safe and comfortable.
"I'm ready." I said as I opened my legs wide enough for what I knew was coming.
"Now Jason, listen very carefully, what can you see. Because if you can see the baby's head, I need to know, because that'll mean it is crowning. Jason what do you see?"
"I see a head that is very much coming through."
"How much through Jason?"
"At least a thumb."
"Alianna, are you ready?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay, you are about to beginning pushing. I will count to ten, that is how long your push for and then you pause, and start again. Jason, when the baby comes out, it is extremely important you clear its nose, eyes and mouth. That is the first thing you do Jason, you have to. Is this all clear."
"Yes." We both said at once, terrified for what was about to happen.
Chapter 16
She wasn't answering, and I couldn't understand why, she always had her phone on her. I thought about leaving the game with the boys, but I knew that would just be a scene for me overreacting, and I wasn't that guy, I didn't say how high when people asked me to jump. I decided to let it slide for the moment, I had no reason to believe anything was wrong, another hour and I would do done with the guys and I could go and find Alianna.
"Hey, where's Jason at? He cannot possible still be with the girl from the other night?"
"What girl?" I must admit, I had been pretty distance with the guys since Alianna arrived, and with Mom herself ready to have the baby at any moment.
"Oh man, you're missing out. It was a show, let me tell you. Actually no, let Jimmy tell you, his version beats all ours."
Jimmy began telling the story, but my mind zoned in and out of the conversation, my gut had this unwelcoming feeling that something was wrong, and that I was meant to be somewhere else.
Chapter 17
(Two months later)
I never imagined my life growing up to be different from what my own interpretation of a normal family was. I always imagined that I'd live in a happy home with a mom and a dad, my two older brothers, younger brother and baby sister; that was the life I had always believed in. I stood by that life, I understood that life and I appreciated every moment I got to spent with my family. I had grown up with friends who had separated parents, and I constantly heard stories of them forgetting their favourite T-shirt, or lipstick at their other parents house. I never wanted that, I never wanted to have to be torn between two family households, and luckily enough my parents loved each other so dearly that only death would tear them apart. My idealism of my favourite family life all changed the day momma got sick, life changed as I knew it. I never understood just how much I depended on her than the day she got sick. Hearing the doctors tell us that she didn't have long to live, while to me she looked perfectly happy and healthy, was an incomprehensible moment. I only saw a healthy and supportive mom at fifteen, and hearing the doctors say she was sick and going to die, made no sense, so I decided not to believe it, not to give into the sickness. While my older brothers made changes in their lives to support momma, I did nothing, I refused to let the sickness take over my relationship with my mom. Jeffery was 3 years younger than me, and he had himself struggled with understanding the pain mom was in. Meredith was barley a year old, and soon enough she would loose her momma without even getting to know her. It wasn't that I didn't understand that she was going to die, it was that I didn't want to live my life as if I was going to loose my mom. I knew she was going to die, and I knew that when she did my life would be destroyed, but I didn't want that feeling to invade my heart until it was time. My brothers hated me for it, they couldn't understand my motives, why I still treated my momma the way I did, while instead they would look at her like a porcelain doll.
Looking down at my baby girl, barley 2 months old, I wondered, and prayed she would never have to endure the pain I did. I pray that she never has to worry about the things I worried about during mommas few breathes, the last few moments when I let the darkness into my heart. She was my precious baby, the gift I had been given. Although I couldn't give her a perfect family, or what my childhood ideas of an ideal family, I could give her me; and I could give her all of me, and all of my heart, because that's all I had.
© Copyright 2020 s.malroy. All rights reserved.
Add Your Comments:
More Romance Short Stories
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
by besma agingShort Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Romance
Short Story / Horror
Book / Other
Short Story / Romance
Book / Horror
Book / Young Adult
Short Story / Humor
Article / Sports
Booksie Popular Content
Other Content by s.malroy
Book / Romance
Short Story / Romance


text:
Hasan Minhaj
Hasan Minhaj is a comedian and actor in Los Angeles. He is the host of MTV's Thursday night talk show 'Failosophy' and stars in the latest season of 'Arrested Development' on Netflix. His viral web series 'The Truth with Hasan Minhaj' has been featured in countless publications including the Huffington Post, LA Times, Gawker, Best Week Ever, Perez Hilton, and US Weekly. He was a series regular on MTV's improv comedy show 'Disaster Date', played the role of 'Seth' on ABC Family's 'State of Georgia', and has been a panelist on E!'s 'Chelsea Lately'. He still feels uncomfortable writing biographies about himself in the third person.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Related Posts
Bajrang Punia won a gold for India in the men's 65 kg freestyle category at the Ali Aliyev tournament in Russia. He defeated Viktor Rassadin in the final to win the title in the recently concluded Ali Aliyev tournament in Kraspiisk, Russia.
This is Bajrang Punia's second title in two weeks. He is currently the top rank holder in Mens' wrestling.
His last metal was a yellow metal at the Asian championships in Xi'an, China.


text:
We often offer larger advances, and loans, at better terms then our competitors and will pay off your existing advance if it is in your business's best interest. Contact us and find out how much you are qualified to receive – please have your current balance from your current provider available when you call.
← FAQs


text:
15 September 2010
The Actuarial Profession has announced funding support for two research projects: by Milliman and the universities of Bath and Bristol systems centre, and the University of Kent. Earlier this year, the Profession issued a call for research proposals focussing on measurement of risk "appetite", identification of hard to define risks, and how firms should report and communicate tail dependencies and correlations to stakeholders.
The Milliman and the universities of Bath and Bristol system centre project will examine risk appetite and hard to define risks. This project will be led by Neil Cantle.
Mr Cantle said: "Risk appetite is fundamental to the communication of how much uncertainty a board is prepared to accept in the pursuit of their strategy. This aspect of the research will deliver a robust and practical framework which enables firms to look at risk appetite holistically but also to connect it to the underlying risk limits attaching to the drivers of the risk profile. This will permit actuaries to help their organisations build more coherent risk management systems allowing for the underlying interconnectivity of risk factors.
"Some risks appear 'hard' to understand because they are complex, so this part of the research will develop methods based upon complexity science which are designed to reveal the underlying dynamics of these hard risks and their drivers. By uncovering the hidden behaviours, actuaries will be well placed to communicate the risks more effectively and integrate such risks into risk models. The understanding of such complex risks is particularly relevant to the operation of an effective and robust emerging risk process."
The University of Kent project will consider the third aspect of examining the ways in which tail dependency can be measured and communicated to stakeholders. This project will be led by Professor Paul Sweeting.
Professor Sweeting said: "Tail dependencies are an important aspect of risk modelling, since it is the accumulation of risks that can be most dangerous to financial institutions. However, there are no agreed measures of association for extreme co-movements that allow the comparison of assumptions between firms. Nor are there widely recognised ways of communicating these relationships. This research therefore has two areas. The first is to consider measures of co-movement in relation to extreme observations, whilst the second is to look at both the numerical and the visual reporting of tail dependencies. The results will enable firms not only to understand the implicit relationships that they are assuming, but also to convey this information clearly and effectively."
The Profession recognises enterprise risk management as an area where actuaries can play a pivotal role in the development of this discipline.
Ruth Loseby, the Profession's research manager, said it was pleasing that the two projects covered all three of these research areas identified.
Notes to Editors:
- Actuaries provide commercial, financial and prudential advice on the management of a business's assets and liabilities, especially where long term management and planning are critical to the success of any business venture. They also advise individuals, and advise on social and public interest issues.
- The Profession is governed by the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries. A rigorous examination system is supported by a programme of continuing professional development and a professional code of conduct supports high standards reflecting the significant role of the Profession in society.
- Members of the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries have a statutory role in the supervision of pension funds and life insurance companies. They also have a statutory role to provide actuarial opinions for managing agents at Lloyd's.
- The Profession is available to provide expert comment to the media on a range of actuarial- related issues, including enterprise risk management, finance and investment, general insurance, health and care, life assurance, mortality, and pensions.
Further information on the work of the Profession can be found at http://www.actuaries.org.uk/
Follow us on Twitter @actuarynews


text:
[Originally distributed by Sheldon Emry's AMERICA'S PROMISE, with IMPORTANT CORRECTIONS]:
There are two main racial branches of modern Jewry: the Sephardic Jews of Western Europe and the Ashkenazi Jews of Eastern Europe.
THE SEPHARDIM: After Israel and Judah went into captivity in Assyria and Babylon, less than 50,000 of the tribes of Judah, Benjamin, and Levi returned to Jerusalem 5 centuries before Christ. This was made possible by the edict of Cyrus, and later an epistle from king Xerxes to Ezra. Josephus tells us of this later epistle:
"So he (Ezra) read the epistle at Babylon to those Judeans that were there; but he kept the epistle itself, and sent a copy of it to all those of his own nation that were in Media; and when these Judeans had understood what piety the king had towards God, and what kindness he had for Ezra, they were all greatly pleased; nay, many of them took their effects with them, and came to Babylon, as very desirous of going down to Jerusalem; but then the entire body of the people of Israel remained in that country; wherefore there are but 2 tribes in Asia and Europe subject to the Romans, while the 10 tribes are beyond Euphrates till now, and are an immense multitude, and not to be estimated by numbers" (Josephus' Antiq., 11.5.2).
Ezra and Nehemiah both had a hard time keeping the Judeans from intermarrying with the heathen. Often they had to institute reforms, showing that this was a problem right from the beginning (Ezra 2:62; 9:1; 2; Nehemiah 7:64; 12:23-30).
A few centuries later this problem of intermarriage became greatly aggravated when John Hyrcanus conquered the heathen cities in Palestine and forced the Canaanites to become Jews. After conquering a number of other cities ...
"Hyrcanus took also Dora and Marissa, cities of Idumea (Greek form of Edom), and subdued all the Idumeans; and permitted them to stay in that country, if they would (be circumcised), and make use of the laws of the Judeans; and they were so desirous of living in the country of their [Edomite] forefathers, that they submitted to the use of circumcision, and the rest of the Judean ways of living; at which time therefore this befell them, that THEY WERE HEREAFTER NO OTHER THAN JEWS" (Jos., Antiq., 13.9.1). [Emry erred "8.9.1"]
A footnote in Josephus quotes Ammonius, a grammarian, who says: "The Judeans are such by nature, and from the beginning, whilst the Idumeans were not Judeans from the beginning, but [alleged*] Phoenicians and [alleged*] Syrians; but being afterwards subdued by the Judeans and compelled to be circumcised, and to unite into one nation, and be subject to the same laws, they were called 'Judeans' (.i.e., 'Jews'.)" [*alleged, as the Phoenicians were originally Israelites, and the Syrians Shemites. The Canaanite/Edomite-jews usurped these two identities later.C.A.E.]
This same footnote also quotes Dio, the historian: "That country is also called Judea, and the people Judeans; and this name is given also to as many as embrace their religion, though of other nations."
Josephus continues his history and tells of Aristobulus, the son of Hyrcanus: "He was called a lover of the Grecians; and had conferred many benefits on his own country, and made war against Iturea, and added a great part of it to Judea, and compelled its inhabitants, if they would continue in that country, to be circumcised, and to live according to the Judean laws" (Antiq., 13.11.3). [Emry erred "8.11.3"]
"Now at this time the Jews were in possession of the following cities that had belonged to the Syrians, and Idumeans, and Phoenicians: (Here he lists 23 cities); which last (city) they utterly destroyed, because its inhabitants would not bear to change their religious rites for those peculiar to the Judeans. The Judeans also possessed others of the principle cities of Syria, which had been destroyed" (Jose., Antiq., 13.15.4). [Emry erred "8.15.4". With all of these goof-ups, surely many rejected Emry, believing him incompetent!]
Josephus later speaks of "Herod, who was no more than a private man, and an Idumean, i.e., a half-Jew ..." (Antiq., 14.15.2). [Actually Herod was Edomite from both his father and mother.C.A.E.]
A footnote here says: "Accordingly, Josephus always esteems him an Idumean, though he says his father Antipater was of the same people with the Judeans, and a Judean by birth, as indeed all such proselytes of justice as the Idumeans, were in time esteemed the very same people with the Jews."
The Jewish Encyclopedia, 1925 edition, Vol. 5, p. 41, says: "EDOM IS IN MODERN JEWRY." Perhaps this racial mixture could explain why the Apostles were so careful to record the pure genealogy of Jesus and to make it clear that he was not tainted by Edomite blood.
In 70 A.D., and again in 135 A.D., the Romans expelled the [impostor] "Judeans" from Palestine. We find what happened to them in The American People's Encyclopedia for 1954, p. 15-492, under "The Jews":
"Following their dispersal many spread across North Africa to Spain and during this movement converted many of the Berber tribes to Judaism. This had little effect on physical type, since most of the Berbers were likewise of Mediterranean race. That portion which moved into Spain and later northward achieved considerable wealth and prestige and became known as Sephardim Jews."
Thus, we conclude that the Sephardic branch of modern Jewry is a mixture of Judean, Edomite, [alleged] Syrian, Canaanite, [alleged] Phoenician, and Berber strains.
THE ASHKENAZIM: "In the year 740 the Khazars were officially converted to Judaism. A century later they were crushed by the incoming Slavic-speaking people and were scattered over central Europe where they were known as Jews. It is from this grouping that most German and Polish Jews are descended, and they likewise make up a considerable part of that population now found in America. The term Ashkenazim is applied to this round-headed, darkcomplexioned division" (The American People's Encyclopedia, 1954, p. 15-492).
"In the 1960's, the number of Sephardim was estimated at 500,000. The Ashkenazim, at the same period, numbered about eleven million. Thus, in common parlance, Jew is practically synonymous with Ashkenazi Jew" (Arthur Koestler, The Thirteenth Tribe, p. 181).
"That the Khazars are the lineal ancestors of Eastern European Jewry, is an historical fact. Jewish historians and religious textbooks acknowledge the fact, though the propagandists of Jewish nationalism belittle it as pro-Arab propaganda" (Alfred Lilienthal, What Price Israel, p. 222).
"CHAZARS: A people of Turkish origin whose life and history are interwoven with the very beginnings of the history of the Jews of Russia" (Jewish Encyclopedia, 3rd edition, 1925). "The Khazars were not "Semites." They were an Asiatic Mongoloid nation. They are classified by modern anthropologists as Turco-Finns racially" (Dr. Benjamin Freedman, Facts are Facts, p. 41). [Chazars & Khazars same people.]
"KHAZARS: A Mongolian people who embraced Judaism and flourished from the 8th through the 10th centuries on the territory extending between the Don and the Volga rivers, and the shores of the Black, Caspian, and Azov Seas. The story of the existence of such converts to Judaism reached the Jewish statesman Hasdai ibn Shaprut of Cordova in the 10th century. As a result, Shaprut wrote a letter which was ultimately received by Joseph, king of the Khazars ... In his reply King Joseph gave a detailed account of the history of the kingdom of the Khazars ..." (The New Jewish Encyclopedia, 1962).
"'Joseph then proceeds to provide a genealogy of his people. Though a fierce Jewish nationalist, proud of wielding the 'Sceptre of Judah', he cannot, and does not claim for them Semitic descent; he traces their ancestry not to Shem, but to Noah's third son, Japheth; or more precisely to Japheth's grandson, Togarmah, the ancestor of all Turkish tribes. 'We have found in the family registers of our fathers,' Joseph asserts boldly, 'that Togarma had ten sons, and the names of their offspring are as follows: Uigur, Dursu, Avars, Huns, Basilli, Tarniakh, Khazars, Zagora, Bulgars, Sabir. We are the sons of Khazar, the seventh'" (Arthur Koestler, The Thirteenth Tribe, p. 72).
"Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth; and unto them were sons born after the flood. The sons of Japheth: Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras. And the sons of Gomer: Ashkenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah" (Gen. 10:1-3).
"For the sake of piquantry it should be mentioned that the Ashkenaz of the Bible refers to a people living somewhere in the vicinity of Mount Ararat and Armenia. The name occurs in Genesis 10:3 and 1 Chronicles 1:6 as one of the sons of Gomer, who was a son of Japheth. Ashkenaz is also a brother of Togarmah (and a nephew of Magog) whom the Khazars, according to King Joseph, claimed as their ancestor" (Arthur Koestler, The Thirteenth Tribe, p. 181).
"At some date earlier than 864, the Westphalian monk, Christian Druthmar of Aquitania, wrote a Latin treatise Expositio in Evangelium Mattei, in which he reports that 'there exist people under the sky in regions where no Christians can be found, whose name is Gog and Magog, and who are Huns; among them is one, called the Gazari, who are circumcised and observe Judaism in its entirety'. This remark occurs a propos of Matthew 24:14 which has no apparent bearing on it, and no more is heard of the subject" (Ibid., p. 81).
Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who visited Khazaria in 922 A.D., concluded his account of his travels with: "The Khazars and their King are all Jews. The Bulgars and all their neighbors are subject to him. They treat him with worshipful obedience. Some are of the opinion that Gog and Magog are the Khazars" (Ibid., p. 46).
There is also evidence of an Edomite connection between the Sephardim and the Khazars. The Jewish Encyclopedia, in commenting on the letter which Hasdai ibn Shaprut wrote to King Joseph, says: "In this letter Hasdai speaks of the tradition according to which the Chazars once dwelt near the Seir (Serir) Mountains." The Bible says, "Thus dwelt Esau in Mount Seir; Esau is Edom" (Gen. 36:8).
"Edom" means red, and it is certainly no coincidence that the "Red Jews," the Bolshevik Khazars, have taken this color as the symbol of Judeo-communism.
"The legends which circulated among Western Jews in the Middle Ages provide a curious parallel to the Russian bylinda. To quote Poliak again: 'The popular Jewish legend does not remember a Khazar kingdom but a kingdom of the red Jews'" (Ibid., p. 135).
When the Khazar empire was finally destroyed by the Russians from the north, the Khazar-Jews began to disperse into what is now called Poland and Germany, as well as into other Eastern European lands. However, they continued to multiply and remained the most populous branch of Jewry.
The destruction of the Khazar empire brought many Khazars into contact with their fellow Jews of the Sephardim. Together, they continued their anti-Christian activity, mainly through their practice of usury, until finally the Christian nations of Europe began to banish them. As they left, their usurious monetary practices left with them, and the European Renaissance began. Koestler quotes Cecil Roth, a Jewish historian, as writing: "In a sense, the Jewish dark ages may be said to begin with the Renaissance" (Ibid., p. 178).
However, the tide changed when these KhazarJews finally succeeded in overthrowing Russia once again in 1917, under the guise of "communism." This final world power is prophesied in the Bible under various names, such as "Mystery Babylon," but its racial origin is given in Ezekiel 38:2, 3, 6 as being Gog, Magog, Meshech, Tubal, Gomer, and Togarmah – which is the ancestry of the Khazars.
With the Jews in total control of the Soviet government, it comes as no surprise that Koestler states: "It is sad to report in this context that more than a thousand years after the events under discussion, the Soviet regime has done its best to expunge the memory of the Khazars' historic role and cultural achievements" (Ibid., p. 93).
The Soviet Khazar-Jews, called in the Bible Gog, Magog, and Togarmah, have already invaded Palestine and stolen it from the Arabs, as prophesied in Ezekiel. The Soviet government is secretly supporting Zionism, and knows that it must hide the Khazar ancestry of the Ashkenazim in order to maintain the Christian support of Zionism.
"In this last chapter I have tried to show that the evidence from anthropology concurs with history in refuting the popular belief in a Jewish race descended from the Biblical tribe" (Ibid., p. 199).
Alfred Lilienthal calls it a "most ingenious paradox" that: "many Christians may have much more Hebrew Israelite blood in their veins than most of their Jewish neighbors" (What Price Israel, p. 223).
Many Christians today have been told that the Jews are the purest race in the world and are descended from the ancient Israelites. Since most American Jews are slightly darkskinned with dark, kinky hair and hooked noses, Christians assume that the ancient Israelites were of this racial type as well.
History teaches no such thing. Archeologists and historians have discovered and unearthed many statues, basreliefs, and portraits of the ancient peoples. We shall concentrate here on the portraits of the ancient Israelites in contrast to those of the Hittites. The Bible tells us:
"And it came to pass in the fifth year of king Rehoboam, that Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem; And he took away the treasures of the house of the Lord, and the treasures of the king's house; he even took away all the shields of gold which Solomon had made" (1 Ki. 14:25, 26).
Shishak's account of this conquest of Israel and Judah, along with portraits of over 100 captive Israelites, is recorded on the south wall of the temple at Karnak. Also pictured are the vessels of the temple of Solomon, which Shishak took as booty.
"An inscription of Shishak, from the southern wall of the temple of Amon at Karnak ... records the Pharaoh's conquests in Palestine (c. 926 B.C.). In the center of the relief stands Amon holding a rope to which captives are bound in rows. Each one of the captives is the ruler of a conquered city, the name of which is engraved on his body within an oval ring ... Shishak's forces overran the Negev of Judah and the Kingdom of Israel, taking and sacking many settlements as they went" (The Holman Bible Atlas, p. 44).
The reason you probably have never heard of these portraits of the ancient Israelites is because most historians call them "Amorites," (not to be confused with the Biblical Amorites). To the historians, "Amorite" describes a general racial type, which today we know as Nordic or Caucasian, as opposed to the Hittite, or Mongolian, which characterizes most modern Jews.
[Clifton Emahiser's note: Thirty years have passed since I first read this paper that Emry had circulated, and I recognized that my own research agrees on the topic of the "Amorites". To understand the chronological order of events, one must fathom that: Firstly, Sihon, king of the Amorites, had conquered and occupied the kingdom of Moab. Secondly, that after Sihon had absorbed the Moabites, Israel destroyed both the Amorites as well as the Moabites whom Sihon had conquered and brought under his rule. Upon driving the Amorites (+ absorbed Moabites) out of the promised land, it is recorded at Joshua 18:7 that half of the tribe of Manasseh, along with the tribes of Gad and Reuben, moved into the former land of Moab east of the Jordan. It is evident, then, that these three tribes of Israel became known as "Amorites", after the land they occupied. Two cities within the territory of the Amorites were Heshbon and Bashan, both on the east side of the Jordan river.] Back to Emry:
"The Hittites were a people with yellow skins and 'Mongoloid' features, whose receding foreheads, oblique eyes, and protruding upper jaws are represented as faithfully on their own monuments as they are on those of Egypt, so that we cannot accuse the Egyptian artist of caricaturing their enemies. If the Egyptians have made the Hittites ugly, it was because they were so in reality. The [Israelite] Amorites, on the contrary, were a tall and handsome people. They are depicted with white skins, blue eyes, and reddish hair, all the characteristics, in fact, of the white race ... Their clear-white freckled skins, their blue eyes, their golden-red hair and tall stature, remind him of the fair Kelts of an Irish village ... We know that the [Israelite] Amorite type continued to exist in Judah long after the Israelitish conquest of Canaan. Captives taken from the southern cities of Judah by Shishak in the time of Rehoboam, and depicted by him upon the walls of the great temple of Karnak are people of [Israel] Amorite origin" (A.H. Sayce, The Hittites, pp. 16-19).
"The prisoners brought back to Egypt served as models, and the Egyptian artists drew their outlines with almost photographic fidelity. Now it is remarkable that the heads which surmount the names of Shishak's conquests in Palestine are the heads of [Israelite] Amorites, and not of Jews. They reproduce the features of that fair-skinned, light-haired, blue-eyed, and long-headed [Israelite] Amorite race with which the earlier monuments of Egypt make us familiar. Nothing can be more unlike the Jewish type ..." (A.H. Sayce, The Higher Criticism and the Monuments, pp. 353, 354).
"Casts have been made of the heads by Mr. Flinders Petrie, and the racial type represented by them turns out to be [Israelite] Amorite and not Jewish ... The Jewish type was so scantily represented that the Egyptian artists passed it over when depicting the prisoners who had been brought from Judah" (A.H. Sayce, Races of the Old Testament, p. 75).
ANCIENT HITTITES AND MODERN JEWS: About the time that Joshua conquered Canaan, the king of Mitanni was conquering Eastern Anatolia (Armenia) to the north. Many of these Eastern Anatolians, also called "Hittites", fled south, where they mixed with the Canaanites during Israel's stay there. Archeologists have unearthed many statues and pictures of these Hittites ... Well-known historians describe these Eastern Anatolian Hittites this way:
"Colossal figures and sculptures show us the Hittites with their big noses ..." (Werner Keller, The Bible as History, xvi).
"The sculptures ... give us a good idea of the appearance of the Hittites, a people with high Armenoid foreheads and hooked noses ..." (Robinson, Ancient History, p. 85).
"The forehead retreated, the cheek bones were high, the nostrils were large, the upper lip protrusive. They had, in fact, according to craniologists, the characteristics of a mongoloid race. Like the mongols, moreover, their skins were yellow and their eyes black" (Petrie, The Hittites, p. 130).
"The Armenians and the people of Anatolia are rather proud possessors of what is called a 'Jewish nose.' Julian Huxley notes that the Armenoid, with his heavy nose and pronounced nostrils, resembles the ancient Hittites" (Alfred Lilienthal, What Price Israel, p. 225).
"The so-called 'Jewish' nose is really Armenoid" (Prof. Huxley, Haddon, and Car-Saunders, We Europeans, p. 103).
[Note: I cannot vouch for all of the documentation presented in this paper, but I have other data that substantiates most of it.]
Scanned And Reformatted For the Internet By:
Clifton A. Emahiser's Teaching Ministries
1012 N. Vine Street, Fostoria, Ohio 44830
Website: emahiser.christogenea.org
Also Recommend William Finck's: christogenea.org


text: On the Service Management blog, you'll often read about how a great service portal ensures users can help themselves. You'll find out how to design a more user-friendly Self-Service Portal and the steps you should take before starting to make sure you build a great Self-Service Portal. Since this blog is about tips and tricks, I thought I would share 5 more practical things you can think about when designing and customizing your Self-Service Portal.