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Workers' compensation is a type of insurance coverage that the majority of employers are required to purchase for their employees. There are exceptions, but in typical jobs, employees will be covered in the case that they're hurt on the job.
Homeless vets often struggle with undiagnosed PTSD
If you have a family member who served in the armed forces in Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan or other military operations, you can probably recall the long months of deployment waiting for word of your loved one's safety. When your family member returned home, you likely welcomed him with some kind of celebration. It was not long, however, before you understood that the experience had changed your loved one.
Florida among states with highest Social Security payouts
If you live in Florida, then you're used to seeing many retired people. Florida is a well-known state for retirement, and people love the sandy beaches, warm weather and tropical vibes.
Drivers in Florida may be uninsured: Here's more
Florida is full of interesting places for tourists to visit, and that could be part of the reason why there are so many traffic accidents there. People unfamiliar with the roads and traffic laws combine with heavy traffic and make for the perfect conditions for a crash.
Workers' compensation: A right for most employees
Workers' compensation coverage is essential to employees who have been hurt on the job. It provides many important benefits such as medical coverage, compensation for lost wages, vocational rehabilitation and more.
Crash on vacation? What should you do?
You've been dreaming of coming to Kissimmee for some time because you're a huge fan of Disney and everything the local area has to offer. Unfortunately, along the drive from the airport to your rental home, you were involved in a significant car accident.


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New York based Lot 47 Films has picked up all North American rights to Scotland PA, a new comedy from writer-director Billy Morrissette.
The company describes Scotland PA as: 'a modern-day update of Macbeth crossed with an episode of Columbo'. It stars James LeGros and Maura Tierney and Christopher Walken.
The film got its world-premiere at this year's Sundance festival, where Lot 47's also grabbed L.I.E.
Due for release in January 2002, the film extends lot 47's acquisitions recent spree. The company's 2001 release slate also includes the John Cusack produced Never Get Outta the Boat.
Lot 47's co-presidents Jeff and Mark Lipsky negotiated the deal along with vice president of acquisitions Danae M Kokenos and Rena Ronson of WMA Independents.
Karen Lauder, who executive produced the film along with Marcus Ticotin for Abandon, said; 'we are so excited to continue our extraordinary partnership with Lot 47 distributing this uniquely funny and intelligent film.'

subset: commoncrawl


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Channel Sponsor - Coding/Billing/Collections
Sponsored by National Medical Billing Services | email@example.com | (636) 273-6711
11 Esophagoscopy Code Updates to Know
Rigid esophagoscopy
• 43191: Rigid transoral esophagoscopy, diagnostic, brushing and washing.
• CPT codes 43192 through 43196 have been created for submucosal injections, biopsy, foreign body removal, balloon dilation, guide wire insertion and dilation over guide wire.
Flexible esophagoscopy
• 43197: Flexible transnasal esophagoscopy, diagnostic, brushing and washing
• 43198: Flexible transnasal esophagoscopy with biopsy
• 43200: Now defined as flexible, rather than rigid or flexible
• 43200 through 43232: Now termed as flexible
Flexible transoral esophagoscopy
• 43211: Flexible transoral esophagoscopy, mucosal resection. Previously reported with 43449 (unlisted procedure, esophagus)
• 43212: Flexible transoral esophagoscopy, stent placement, dilation and guide wire passage
• 43213: New code, flexible transoral esophagoscopy with retrograde dilation
• 43214: Flexible transoral esophagoscopy, balloon dilation, including image. Prior to 2014, imaging was coded separately
• 43229: Flexible transoral esophagoscopy, with ablation, dilation and guide wire passage. This code now includes balloon dilation (43220), insertion of guide wire (43226) and ablation (43228)
CPT Copyright 2013 American Medical Association. All rights reserved. CPT is a registered trademark of the American Medical Association.
More Articles on Coding and Billing:
The Fast Approaching ICD-10 Deadline: How Can ASC Leaders Prepare?
Can the ASC Industry Still Effectively Wield Out-of-Network Strategy?
How Does Medical Coder Salary Vary Across the U.S.? 8 Statistics
© Copyright ASC COMMUNICATIONS 2020. Interested in LINKING to or REPRINTING this content? View our policies by clicking here.


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Top 12 Best Vacuums For Laminate Floors Reviews In 2020
Keeping that clean floor free from debris, fur, dirt, dust, and hair is possible. Unfortunately, many people have cleaning devices that do not give out the desired performance. They will not remove every speck of dust, dirt, or debris, maybe a little bulky to operate, or are too noisy.
For this reason and more, we decided to hunt down and research the best vacuum cleaners that have numerous advantages. Some of the benefits you expect from these units include fast and easy cleanup even in hard to reach places, time-saving, easy maneuverability, affordability, and also straightforward dirt cup emptying. After thoughtfully researching the market, we can now claim that the following are one of the best vacuums for laminate floors.
List of The Best Vacuums For Laminate Floors In 2020
Last update on 2020-05-17 at 20:33 / Affiliate link / Image from Amazon Product Advertising API
#12 Dirt Devil Power Air Corded Bagless Stick Vacuum for Hard Floors SD20505
By: Dirt Devil
The Dirt Devil vacuum uses cyclonic filtration system with 10 Amp motor and powerful suction to help you maneuver through debris and dust easily. It has a low profile nozzle that gives easy access, and fast debris picks up. Furthermore, it has an easy to use empty dirt cup that empties with a touch of a button to avoid messy dumping and a 20-foot power cable with an 11-inch cleaning path to give you a hassle-free vacuuming without the need of using an extension cable.
The lightweight unit weighs 6.67 pounds for you to use efficiently, clean, carry, and store and also includes a 2-year limited warranty for more convenience and increases user experience. It has a beautiful design that is not only aesthetically appealing but also provides excellent performance.
#11 Shark Rocket TruePet Ultra-Light Upright Corded Vacuum, Bordeaux (HV322)
By: SharkNinja
The SharkNinja cleaning device weighs 8.6 pounds which makes it a lightweight unit for you to easily carry around and use. It has powerful suction collects litter, stuck debris, dry dirt to offer smooth and smooth operation, and uses a versatile technology that simplifies handheld vacuuming of floor-to-ceiling cleaning.
Moreover, it has an extra-large capacity dirt/dust tank that accommodates a generous amount of debris, thus provides an uninterrupted action. The unit is inclusive of a swivel steering which offers a smooth twist for easy vacuuming. It features a pet multi-tool that captures hair with ease and prides on having LED lights located on the handheld vacuum and nozzle to give you more visual on dark places like corners and under furniture.
#10 Bissell Hard Floor Expert Deluxe Canister Vacuum Cleaner Machine, 1161
By: Bissell
This cleaning accessory has sturdy wheels made of felt and rubber to ensure no marks on your floor. Its compact design allows natural lift even up and down the stairs while the powerful suction gives you a fast, hair-free, dirt-free, and thorough cleaning. It is inclusive of a dirt tank that easily opens, providing a non-messy clearance whereas the soft-bristled brush gently brushes floors, unlike a regular vacuum brush.
Additionally, it boasts of a digital fingertip dial for you to adjust the level of suction easily. It has a simple design which gives you a straightforward assembly, and thanks to the extension wand, cleaning high places like curtains and ceilings is also possible.
#9 HOOVER FloorMate Deluxe Hard Floor Cleaner, FH40160PC
By: HOOVER
The Hoover FloorMate cleaner is lightweight, just 13.8 pounds, which makes it is easy to maneuver, carry, and store. It features spin scrub brushes gently scrub on laminate floors to ensure a smooth experience and comes with a soft wheel that rolls smoothly without causing damage to the ground.
Additionally, the clean boost fingertip dial allows the application of extra washing soap/detergent to tough stains whereas the dual-tank mechanism to separate clean and dirty water to ensure the dirty water doesn't clean your floor. It includes manual instructions to give you straightforward assembly and a wash/dry mode for a quicker suctioning and drying process.
#8 Bissell PowerEdge pet Hardwood Floor Bagless Stick Vacuum Cleaner, 81L2A
By: Bissell
Coning with a functional V-shaped base for collects even the tiniest particles effortlessly, the Bissell PowerEdge is perfect for your laminate floors. It features built-in wipers made from a hair-attracting rubber material to boost hair collection, thus offers a cleaner surface. On top of that, it has a swivel head which enables a thorough vacuuming around furniture legs and difficult places like edges.
The 20-feet power cable gives you a broader area to work on quickly while the cyclonic technology keeps the clean filter while in use for straightforward cleaning. And considering it weighs 7.5 pounds, you won't struggle to carry or store it.
The stylish unit has a durable suction power ensures no area is left untouched hence a sparkling clean floor whereas the dirt cup stores a considerate amount of debris and is easy to empty. And to give you peace-of-mind, the vacuum cleaner has a 1-year warranty to add user convenience.
#7 Dyson V6 Cord Free Vacuum
By: Dyson
The Dyson V6 Cord-Free Vacuum has a motorized cleaner head which is efficient for all floor types, especially laminated ones. I comprise a mini-motorized device works best for pet hair and dirt removal and works non-stop for up to 20 minutes giving endless and enjoyable vacuuming. The well-designed accessory comes with a crevice tool to help clean those hard to reach areas while the soft-bristle brush offers gentle cleaning.
It features a HEPA filtration system to ensure the elimination of bacteria and germs whereas the Cordless design gives you a tangle-free process. It includes an additional cleaner head to act as a replacement in case of breaking or wear down while the sturdy detachable handheld wand enables more natural and comfortable use.
#6 HOOVER Vacuum Cleaner Air Steerable WindTunnel Bagless Lightweight Corded Upright UH72400
By: HOOVER
Hoover never disappoints with their products like the above vacuum cleaner that has a steerable mechanism to ensure smooth maneuvering around edges and corners. It has an ergonomic handle that twists easily in your preferred direction for smooth operation while the 2-in-1 crevice tool lets you clean cracks, vents plus more with zero effort.
Additionally, the wind tunnel 3 construction includes 3 suction modes that allow you to set the level of suction power while its lightweight design enhances easy to lift, movement, and storage. The multi-floor brush roll features an on/off button that allows an easy switch from carpet to hardwood while the HEPA media filter captures 99.9% of debris, pollen, and dust to 0.3 microns to promote a cleaner environment.
#5 BLACK+DECKER CHV1410L 16V Cordless Lithium Hand Vacuum
By: BLACK+DECKER
Black and Decker CHV1410L vacuum cleaner boasts of a cyclonic action that helps keep the filter clean, thus offers an easier clean-up. It is inclusive of a translucent, bagless dirt bowl for easy visibility of the debris level and backed with a 2-year limited warranty and a direction manual for cleaning filters and canisters, charging and installation, and also for added user-experience and convenience.
The cleaner comes with a removable, washable bowl and filters to guarantee a safe and thorough clean-up and uses 16V lithium-ion that offers long battery life, 50% less energy consumption, and superior service. It weighs 2.6 pounds for secure storage and cleaning and promotes a comfortable operation with no assembly required while the rotating slim nozzle gives a soft-surface vacuuming not to scratch your floor.
#4 Kenmore Elite 21814 Pet & Allergy Friendly CrossOver Canister Vacuum In Silver/Gray
By: Kenmore
This vacuum cleaner has a floor-brush switch mode. It gives you an easy switch from linoleum to hardwood floors to carpeting for your preferred surface. The 6-way cleaning mode offers more convenience and broader cleaning choice while the built-in dirt sensor with an electronic performance indicator that alerts you on the dirt picking process and when dirt/dust cup is full.
The 2-motor system includes a powerful inducer motor ensures no loss of suction or left debris. Moreover, this best vacuum for laminate floor is certified and approved by the Asthma and allergy foundation which guarantees health safety. The tool has a multi-surface cleaning mode with a width of 14 inches with 4 cleaning tools including a pet PowerMate to give extra convenience and smooth operation.
And courtesy of the telescoping wand, you will have a comfortable operation even in tight spaces. It has an automatic cord rewind that uses a push-button to give secure storage.
#3 Dyson V8 Absolute Cordless HEPA Vacuum Cleaner
By: Dyson
With the Dyson V8, you get a dual-operation that allows you to either use it in an upright or handheld position for added convenience. The above unit requires lithium batteries to power. It can run up to 40 minutes providing a reliable fade-free suction. It is bagless for more comfortable operation. Lastly, it features a crevice tool to ensure a smooth cleaning in corners, edges, and around furniture.
In addition, it is inclusive of a soft roller that guarantees gentle brushing. This leaves your floor clean and scratches free versatile to help you clean carpets, area rugs, and also the hard floor. The direct-drive cleaner head gives you more access to dirt and debris. It also offers a quick vacuuming while the HEPA filtration system traps 99.9% of germs and bacteria to leave you not only a cleaner but also a bacteria-free surface. It weighs 5.75 lbs. This means that it can give you comfortable portability even on a staircase. Lastly, it comes with a 24-month warranty for added user-experience.
#2 Bissell Hard Floor Expert Multi-Cyclonic Bagless Canister Vacuum, 1547 – Corded
By: Bissell
The above canister vacuum boasts of a multi-surface turbine foot that quickly picks up dirt, debris, and pet hairs. It features a telescopic wand made from metal that cleans hard to reach areas providing comfortable maneuverability. Moreover, the multi-cyclonic functionality offers a great suction, thus a quicker and cleaner surface.
This best vacuum for laminate floor comes with additional cleaning tools to add convenience during vacuuming. Also, the push button lets you rewind the built-in 18-feet power cable automatically. The cleaning gadget weighs 8.3 pounds making it lightweight to give easy handling and portability even up and down a staircase.
It includes a multi-level filtration that helps to reduce the number of suspended solids, as well as a 2-year warranty, adds to user-experience. The vacuum uses 9.2 amps which effectively uses power to save on high electricity bills. Moreover, the 67.6 fluid ounce dirt cup capacity accommodates a considerable amount of debris to give you a continuous, uninterrupted vacuuming.
#1 ILIFE V5s Pro Robot Vacuum Mop Cleaner with Water Tank
By: ILIFE
The above vacuum cleaner has a multi-purpose functionality to help clean, sweep, and mop laminate bare floors. It includes a water tank with a modern i-dropping technology for more efficient and more comfortable mopping and wide rover wheels. With a self-rescue construction, it can comfortably clean an uneven floor.
The stylish piece comes with a built-in motor with a max mode and pet hair mechanism. This gives a quick capture of debris, dirt, furs, and dust for an efficient vacuuming. It features 4 cleaning modes including, edge clean, auto clean, scheduling clean and spot clean, for added convenience. On top of that, the long-lasting battery which offers a run-time that lasts up to 140 minutes. The ILIFE V5s Pro boasts of automatic features that ensure an automatic dock, adjustment to floor surfaces. Last but not least, the easy recharging system can give you a more natural operation.
Additionally, the smart sensors show you where the dirt is hidden. On top of that, the 4.9-pound weight provides easier maneuvering. And thanks to the compact and slim light structure, you will have an easier time handling it. It is inclusive of a 1-year warranty to provide peace of mind in case of malfunctions.
Final Thoughts
Vacuuming can be a seamless operation or precisely the opposite. An undeniable fact is that people prefer to take the least amount of time to clean the floor. Others hire cleaning agencies to come and fulfill this task. However, there's no reason for that anymore.
Getting you a vacuum cleaner that works on all floor types is recommended. It will work on tile, carpet, laminated floor, and more surfaces. And to ensure a perfect fit, we picked out the best vacuums for laminate floors. They guarantee you a quicker, more natural, enjoyable, and straightforward cleaning.


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Frequently Asked Questions
- What are the keyboard shortcuts to type special characters?
- Use this cheat sheet.
- How long does it take a student to finish a lesson?
- Approximately 45 minutes.
Edgenuity partners with Powerspeak® to offer our language courses. Therefore, there are some differences between the functionality in a regular Edgenuity course and world language courses provided by Powerspeak.
What's the Same?
- Enrolling a student into a Powerspeak course is the same as the enrollment process for any other Edgenuity course.
- The Course Structure can be viewed in the same place within the Edgenuity system. When logged into your educator account view the Course Structure page, then click on the in the Powerspeak console that shows the entire course structure by week and lesson.
- Teachers must grade assignments in Powerspeak similar to other Edgenuity courses. Most assignments are objective and automatically graded by the system, but the speaking and writing activities must be graded by a teacher who speaks the target language. Edgenuity is able to provide grading services for these assignments, so please contact your local representative to inquire about this service.
What's Different?
- A headset is needed in language courses as students need to listen and record audio using a microphone and speakers.
- The system requirements for Powerspeak are different than Edgenuity, so be sure to test plugins, cookies, bandwith, and font (for special characters).
- Powerspeak courses have their own management console (Learning Management System or LMS). This LMS for a course can be launched from a student's Gradebook by clicking Manage Powerspeak link.
- Powerspeak has its own Gradebook. The traditional Edgenuity Gradebook treats the entire course as a single activity. Every session will appear in the Other Attempts section of the Edgenuity Gradebook for the Powerspeak course.
- Edgenuity's progress report will accurately display the student's completion progress and current grade for the course, but not the scores earned on specific activities. To view the scores for specific activities, use the Powerspeak Gradebook.
- Customization has to be done via the Powerspeak console and not the Customize link in the Course Actions menu.
- The course options are restricted for Powerspeak courses. Altering the options that appear in the Edit Options page will not have an impact on how the course functions.
- Pretesting cannot be used with world languages courses.
- Secure station will not work with language courses because the Edgenuity platform cannot distinguish Powerspeak assessments from other activities. As such, students are not prevented from accessing assessments from non-authorized computers.
- The Edgenuity Toolbar does not work on Powerspeak courses because it has the ability to perform basic translation functions. Therefore it would not be appropriate to provide this resource in a world language course.
- The Session Log will track active and idle time for courses in Powerspeak, but will not count the completed number of activities.
Powerspeak's full course is 180 lessons while the semester has 90 lessons. Students are expected to do to one lesson per day.


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Floor Fountain - Grandeur River (Centered In Base) - Clear Glass - Rustic Copper - grc1050
$ 5,800.00 CAD $ 7,454.40 CADgrc1050
Each customized waterfall project begins with a consultation. We will guide you through the process and offer multiple suggestions along the way. We enjoy tackling challenging projects.
Quotes and inquiries: email@example.com
Toll-Free Canada: 1-(888)-832-2242 (1)
For estimates, design, fabrication, installations, in Canada contact:
Moses Yoon (778)-788-8603 (text/whatsapp)
We emphasize quality and stand by our work so that our clients can enjoy their water features for many years to come. Our service and commitment to our clients will continue to grow in time as will our product offerings. A big thanks to all of our clients over the years (big and small) for trusting us with your projects. One thing we can guarantee is that we will always try our best.
Follow us on social:
Warehouse/fabrication not open to public. Orders completed online.
2-a 7389 River Rd, Delta, BC V4G 1B2, Canada (blue roll up doors on other side of building) (by appointment only)
#11-8116 130 Street Surrey, BC, Canada V3W 8J9 (by appointment only)
Grandeur River Adagio Indoor Floor Water Fountain
Toll-Free: 1-888-832-2242 Extension 1 - email@example.com
Floor Water Fountain, Centered in the Base
* 60" Wide x 96" Tall x 14" Deep
* Simple set-up
* Includes remote that controls the lights and water from anywhere
in the room
* The welded plastic liner is double tested and prevents
against leakage.
* A uniquely designed water distribution unit system won't
clog, thus giving you even water flow.
* Only one cord plugs into the wall and can come out of either the right
or left bottom corner of the tray
* Durable powder coat finish on all of our painted metal trim.
* Fully contained.
* Polished River Pebbles
* Printed instructions and a URL for an installation video
* Electric pump
Installed Weight - 450 lbs, Shipping Weight - 500 lbs
Glass Options:
Blue Glass
Clear Glass
Green Glass
Trim Options:
Antique Bronze
Blackened Copper
Rustic Copper
Stainless Steel
Upgrade Options
Large Custom Logo (+$695.00) # Colors: 1
(+$100.00 for each over 1)
Lit Hood (+$400.00)
Polished Black Pebbles (+$199.90)
Water Distiller (+$199.00)
Talk to an agent: Toll-Free: 1-888-832-2242 Extension 1 - firstname.lastname@example.com


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- Zip line over the canopy of La Fortuna's jungle
- Explore the Arenal Volcano during a guided hike
- Relax for two nights in Tortuguero National Park
- Sunset Catamaran Cruise
- 8 breakfasts, 2 lunches, 5 dinners
- 1 night – Balmoral Hotel, San Jose
- 2 nights – Arenal Volcano Inn, Arenal
- 2 nights – Evergreen Lodge, Tortuguero
- 2 nights – Hotel Autentico, Manuel Antonio National Park
- 1 night – Balmoral Hotel, San Jose
Alternate hotels may be used.
Nature's kaleidoscopic display envelops you through red macaws, blue morpho butterflies, pink and green houses, purple-hued orchids, verdant rainforests and blazing sunsets. This beautiful land known for wellness, wildlife and waterfalls harbors nearly 6% of the world's biodiversity, with 12 different ecosystems referred to as life zones.
Day 1: San José
Bienvenidos a Costa Rica! An included transfer brings you to our hotel. Meet your Local Leader and fellow travelers before enjoying a local meal together. (d) o Our hotel in San Jose: Hotel Autentico
Day 2: San José > Tortuguero National Park
The northern Caribbean coast awaits. Board a small boat and navigate the waterways into Tortuguero National Park, filled with freshwater creeks and lagoons. Our home for the next two nights is a riverbank lodge embedded in the rainforest. (b, l, d) o Our lodge in La Tortuguero: Laguna Lodge
Day 3: Tortuguero National Park
This morning, view the park's variety of animals, plants and birds during a boat trip through the Tortuguero Canals. An unscripted evening allows you to write your own adventure — and if you visit July through October, that could include a sighting of the nesting of the green turtle! (b, l, d) o Our lodge in La Tortuguero: Laguna Lodge
Day 4: Tortuguero National Park > La Fortuna
Venturing into the Costa Rican jungle region of La Fortuna, we zip line through the jungle canopy. Then, enjoy dinner and an evening at the mineral-rich thermal hot springs, heated by the majestic Arenal Volcano. (b, d) o Our hotel in La Fortuna: Hotel Magic Moutain
Day 5: La Fortuna
Our Insider Expert accompanies us on a hike through the rainforest, which is bursting with multiple varieties of flora and fauna. From the Arenal Volcano's observation point we can appreciate its sheer size and magnificence. This evening, you may wish to return to the hot springs for another dip. (b) o Our hotel in La Fortuna: Hotel Magic Moutain
Day 6: La Fortuna > Manuel Antonio National Park
Our journey takes us along a coastline of fine sand beaches, separated by the occasional area of mangrove and endless plantations of African palm. Relax upon arrival at the national park, with a free evening of leisure. (b) o Our hotel in Manuel Antonio: Manuel Antonio Park Hotel
Day 7: Manuel Antonio National Park
The morning is yours to explore the beach as you please. Later, enjoy an afternoon catamaran cruise — where you can swim, snorkel and relax before enjoying a Costa Rican sunset out on the water. (b, d) o Our hotel in Manuel Antonio: Manuel Antonio Park Hotel
Day 8: Manuel Antonio National Park > San José
Return to San José this afternoon. Perhaps go and explore Escazu — where you can overlook the city at night. (b) o Our hotel in San Jose: Hotel Autentico
Day 9: San José
Our adventure ends today. (b)


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May 1, 2019
If you want off market deals, the best way is via a database and direct out reach. But for purchase databases can be outdated and/or expensive. The Database Legend himself, Charles DeHart, joins us on this episode to discuss how he built his and how he overcame the odds to become a successful entrepreneur.


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White Onyx Ferro Table PRE ORDER
Order now to receive items first week of October.
White Onyx is a spirited natural choice for contemporary tastes associated with energy as well as ancient cleansing rituals. Hues of creamy white and ivory host fingerprint waves of butterscotch and honey tones creating an organic purity and elevated aesthetic.
Being semi precious, Onyx is a luxurious, light permitting stone that often takes much longer than other marbles to form in cold spring waters and quarried in limited quantities, making it an extremely special natural material. Highly regarded as an exclusive stone due to its strong variation in each quarried slab, with this in consideration please note that each Ferro table is unique with its own fingerprint of patterns and colouring.
This pared back design is double layered for strong stability and an opaque aesthetic. Making it a high quality and timeless piece.
We are very excited to be offering this limited edition collection. Presale is imperative to ensure you don't miss out on the limited quantities.
To celebrate we are offering $100 OFF USE CODE 'ONYX' at checkout.
Available for pre-order, expected delivery mid-late June (please note this estimated is subject to manufacturing and customs delays)


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SurveyMonkey to Present at Upcoming Investor Conferences
Location: The Phoenician,
Wells Fargo TMT Summit
Location: The Cosmopolitan,
Location: New York Hilton Midtown,
A webcast of the presentations will be available on the investor relations section of the SurveyMonkey website, https://investor.surveymonkey.com. An archived replay of the webcast will be available following the live presentation.
About SurveyMonkey
SurveyMonkey is a leading global survey software company on a mission to power the curious. The company's People Powered Data platform empowers over 17 million active users to measure and understand feedback from employees, customers, website and app users, and the market. SurveyMonkey's products, enterprise solutions and integrations enable 335,000+ organizations to solve daily challenges, from delivering better customer experiences to increasing employee retention. With SurveyMonkey, organizations around the world can transform feedback into business intelligence that drives growth and innovation.
Investor Relations Contact:
Media contact:
Source: SurveyMonkey Inc.


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Obtaining myself ranking alone at poolside, I determined to clean the pool. I must say i just had two duties round the house. Keep my room clear and keep the share clean in involving the weekly trips from the pool guy. Very little time passed before Mom returned to poolside. To my surprise, along with her book and pipe of sun screen, Mom was also holding a glass of wine. She really was not a lot of a enthusiast, an a reaction to my father's overindulgence, I suppose. And, our wine glasses were huge. Father sized, I guess. From particular experience, I knew you might serve plenty of wine in to one glass. Enough to make me tipsy anyway. Accepting Mother might be upset with me, I used myself to washing the pool really energetically. Of course, I stole looks at my mother laying on the chaise whenever I could. I also transferred round the share to find a very good opinions of Mom's breasts. However, being dedicated to Mom's
boobs, I tripped over the hose of the pool vacuum. Obviously, I dropped to the water.
She was looking forward to me in the kitchen. She was not smiling. Hec, you can not let these women accomplish that, she said. But, Mother, they were only dancing. They certainly were not only dance, Hector. They certainly were also flashing you boys. I don't need that happening within my house. But, Mom. My mother interrupted me. Number, but parents, she claimed in a tone suggesting she was near being angry. I won't have it, son! Conceding beat, I replied, Sure, Mom. I do believe you ought to send your friends home now. Mom made and stepped out, making me with no probable result except to stare at her wriggling ass. As mentioned, I'm a tits and ass man.
That's one warm momma! he explained going her out. That person becomes MILF, said another. Holy fuck, men, that is my mom! Everybody else looked at one another in varying levels of distress before Ree Sex Cam scuttling away. Strolling as though she were on a model's runway, Mum came as much as me. My eyes exposed by the people, I had to agree using their characterization of her as a MILF. From that afternoon onward, I wanted out possibilities to see my MILF. It didn't matter if she were in bathing matches or skirts and gowns, I looked over her as a female and not a mother in probably the most surreptitious way I could. Whenever she was out and I was house alone, I'd also discover my nose in her lingerie drawer. Literally. The fragrance she used followed her clean laundry. Her organic fragrance, or musk, adhered to her used underwear in the garments hamper. My last summer house before college looked to find me in a perpetual state of blue balls. It absolutely was the latest summer in recorded history of our region meaning much time was spent in the pool. A coincidence, without doubt, but with my close friends and their friends visiting just Free Indian Sex Cams about every day, girls appear to locate themselves in a consistent competition to see who had the skimpiest swimsuit, the sexiest human anatomy in that bikini, and probably the most excessive behaviour in their bikinis. Mum came out to see what the commotion was exactly about on among our earliest days, to find girls doing hot dances and sporting people from their point on the fishing board.
My mother had both and my ecent revelation of Mom as an attractive girl designed I usually admired her in a bikini. Just like she was going to keep the area, she made instantly, getting me dmiring her ass. Deliver them house now, Hector, she demanded. Training my eyes to generally meet her gaze, I saw a twinkle in her vision and a laugh, very nearly, on her behalf face. Yes, Mother, proper now. My buddies were demonstrably unhappy to learn that our day enjoyment have been called to a close. They were all mumbling unkind points because they gathered up their points and Free Sex Chat For Teens departed. I was furious with my mom that she had embarrassed me by giving my friends away. I was also embarrassed that she had found us within our moderate sexual flirting. And, I was more uncomfortable that she had found me looking at her firm and tight ass.
Her gaze was lower than my eyes. Was she examining me out? Thinking if that has been also probable seeme n to breathe living into my dick because it began to develop some more. Mom wanted to apologise on her behaviour early in the day and her chasing my friends away. I apologised to her for disrespecting her by enabling my buddies to do something that way. My mom stepped aside of my sleep and explained she wanted a hug. I lay up at the medial side of the sleep and before I possibly could operate, Mom shut the distance between people, dragging me small against her for the reason that hug. My arms went about her as well. Mom was however wearing her Free Live Sex Online swimsuit from earlier that day. And, as a result of height huge difference between us, my mind was against Mom's 36C's. She'd her hands about me pulling me as tightly as you are able to against them. My arms were around her waist, hugging her as tightly. I don't know where I acquired the nerve to accomplish it but I turned my head so that my lips were against one of her breasts. She jumped a little in a reaction to the surprise, I suppose, and instantly her ass was in my hands. Normally enough, I squeezed her butt cheeks. I suppose the best way to start this account is always to add myself. My name is Hector and I am a nineteen year previous first year student at a university of a two time push from home.
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In KwaZulu-Natal each year, the KAP sani2c three-day mountain bike stage race sees up to 4500 mountain bikers traverse 286 kilometres of stunning trails between Underberg in the Southern Drakensberg and Scottburgh on the KZN South Coast. Riders and their supporters come from all over South Africa, with the largest group being from Gauteng (just over 50%).
Although most of the riders are accommodated in tents in race villages over the five days that the three versions of the three-day race take place, it is clear that both the Himeville/Underberg area and the South Coast town of Scottburgh, locations for the start and finish of the race, receive a big boost in tourist numbers especially on the nights before and after the event.
A recent rider survey found that 60% of respondents spent a night in the Underberg area before the start of the race, and 25% spent a night in Scottburgh after the race finish. Further, 25% say they stayed in the Scottburgh area for two nights or more.
Glencairn Farm in Himeville, near the base of the Sani Pass, is the start venue for the KAP sani2c in May, and the farm has become host to a number of other successful events over the past few years. The Joberg2c is a nine-day mountain bike stage race and the last three days of this event follow the same route as KAP sani2c, also bringing huge numbers of people to the area. The Glencairn Trail Run was held for the third time in October, and the newer Glencairn Retreat happened for the first time recently. The trail run event hosted 800 runners and their families and friends for a weekend, with groups opting to either use the tented accomodation provided on the farm or B&Bs, self-catering establishments and the like.
The Glencairn Retreat was a weekend of yoga and pilates sessions, set in the tranquil farm environment ideal for meditation and contemplation. Again, some guests chose tents, others chose to stay at the surrounding accommodation offerings. Year-round this picturesque farm with its own self-catering cottages is an ideal getaway location and wedding venue, where visitors can relax and breathe in farm air, or get out and be active.
Glencairn Farm hosted a New Year's bash in December, and in March 2019 hosted the first Glencairn Swimrun, where participants take part in two days of swimrun, a sport with no transitions. Athletes run in their wetsuits (if they opt to wear one) and swim in their running shoes.
Glen Haw, founder of the KAP sani2c, says they purchased Glencairn Farm in order to develop the infrastructure needed for the large scale of the event that sani2c has become. A local dairy farmer himself, "Farmer" Glen is a man passionate about farming and mountain biking, but is equally determined to uplift the communities around them. The family runs Glencairn Farm as both a sheep farm, its original form, and a wedding venue when it is not hosting events.
"We are proud to be part of developing tourism in the area. The Southern Drakensberg is one of the most beautiful parts of South Africa, and we have had many a mountain biker tell us they had no idea the Drakensberg was so breathtaking and that they will definitely be bringing their families back for a holiday.
"For us, the real value of sani2c, other than providing an awesome three days of riding for visitors, is the sustainable development of our communities. The support we see of local B&Bs, guest houses and hotels by our riders, is a fantastic endorsement of the hospitality available along the 286 km route down to the sea at Scottburgh."
The KAP sani2c is run on a community model with all the services needed for the event provided by volunteers in the community – from schools, churches and NGOs – and the organisations are then paid for the services. Over R 10 million was paid to communities along the route from the 2018 KAP sani2c. Community members have also been trained in construction through the development of the permanent infrastructure at Glencairn Farm.
"We have built 29 permanent showers at Glencairn for sani2c, and 64 at Jolivet Farm where the permanent race village for Day 2 is located. We are in the process of building more cottages that will serve as self-catering accommodation at Glencairn. With the assistance of our sponsors from the KAP sani2c, Tile Africa and Hansgrohe, we have been able to upskill a number of people from our local community to be builders and tilers. We did not expect sani2c to grow into such a big event, but the way it grew has enabled us to do so much to assist our communities and grow tourism along the route," says Haw.
Gregg McDonagh from KarMichael Farm Self-catering and B&B, less than five kilometres from Glencairn Farm, explains the impact of sani2c and other events on their business:"Riders and sponsors have returned year after year to KarMichael Farm for the sani2c and we love hosting them. The loyalty we receive from these guests really gives us such a sense of satisfaction, as we can really see they appreciate the efforts we go to to make their stay relaxing and comfortable.
"We are booked out a year in advance. Not only do we benefit from sani2c, but also from Joberg2c and Glencairn Trail Run. Our proximity to the start and ease of access makes us a really base. sani2c has really put KarMichael Farm on the map in terms of accommodation choices in the Underberg."
Himeville itself is a small town, and offers a pub lunch at the famous historic Old English Pub, located at the Premier Hotel Group's Himeville Arms hotel. The Himeville Fort and Museum is worth a visit; it is considered one of the best rural museums in South Africa. The many buildings house furnishings from the early 1900s, extensive collections of pioneering records and photographs, farming and dairy implements, and a display of Boer War and World War two relics.
From Sani
The only access road between KwaZulu-Natal and the Lesotho Highlands, the Sani Pass, starts once you have cleared the South African border post into Lesotho. Visitors can stop at the Sani Mountain Lodge where they can enjoy a beer at the Highest Pub in Africa at 2874m above sea level. At the base of the pass you will find the Premier Resport Sani Pass.
General Manager of the Premier Resort Sani Pass, Sefton Cramer, says that most guests at the hotel, which is less than 10km from Glencairn Farm on the Sani Pass road, join a 4x4 day tour up the pass. He says the majority of their guests are South African (approximately 75%), thr rest being international tour groups and individuals.
Premier Resort Sani Pass is nearly fully booked already for the KAP sani2c in May 2019. "We benefit hugely from sani2c, Sani Stagger, Ultra-Trail Drakensberg and many more events like it, and our wedding and conference offering is now beginning to attract big groups," says Cramer.
After Premier Hotels & Resorts purchased the old Sani Pass Hotel, it closed its doors for a full year and renovated, opening again in April 2018.
The result is modern and stylish and yet sympathetic to the setting: an amphitheatre of mountains. Block-mounted photographic canvases of local birds and flowers echo the natural world on your doorstep, and liberal use of sandstone brick tiles creates an earthy look that works well in the environment.
The resort provides access to horse trails up the mountain to Lesotho as well as shorter horse and pony rides around the property. The Resort has a Kids Club with a team of professional ambassadors to assist and oversee a wide range of activities and entertainment. Other on-site activities include swimming, chess, snooker, bowls, volleyball, putt-putt, waterfall picnics, fishing, rides and hikes. The resort boasts a nine-hole golf course suitable for avid golfing individuals and a Spa overlooking the pool with mountain views.
Phindile Makwakwa, Acting CEO of Tourism KZN, said "The KAP sani2c is fast becoming a major sporting event in the KZN calendar and its contribution to the sector continues to grow in leaps and bounds, attracting participants from all over the country."
To the sea
Ambercrest Bed & Breakfast is situated less than a kilometre from Scottburgh Primary School, the location of the finish of the KAP sani2c events. Owners Leon Bakker and Neels De Bruin say they are always fully booked during sani2c week, and other events in the area assist greatly to fill beds during the low season.
""The sani2c and Joburg2c are two big events for Scottburgh. We have been here for 11 years and every year our B&B is fully booked. It also impacts other businesses like restaurants and even the schools, who benefit as they are involved in moving the riders' vehicles from Underberg to Scottburgh. It really does put Scottburgh on the map. Next year for example we are already fully booked for the Joburg2c. A group from Germany booked the whole house and will be staying for 3 days after the race."
CEO of Ugu South Coast Tourism, Phelisa Mangcu, sees the mission of the KAP sani2c aligning closely with the goals of her organisation:
"The sani2c route touches on rural communities which is very much in line with our focus, as our focus is on diversifying our coastal offering, and we encourage tourists to get exposed to and experience the way of living and our cultures in rural communities. The race through these communities brings opportunities for small businesses to provide services to bikers; it can be someone selling water or souvenir items along the route. The sani2c bike route therefore has good benefits for our communities, not only in terms of creating exposure to the bikers but also in terms of poverty alleviation."
Maryann Shaw


text:
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Rustic Pasta with Chunky Vegetables
We like to call this dish "rustic pasta". Why do we call it that? I have no clue. We even served it here in a white square bowl, which is probably the opposite of rustic. Nonetheless, something about this meal brimming with big chunky vegetables and whole wheat pasta says rustic to us. We coated the vegetable chunks and penne pasta in a tomato sauce brightened up with hints of saffron, ginger, and garlic and then gave it a creamy twist with mascarpone cheese.
1 medium zucchini, cut into chunks
2 carrots, peeled and cut into chunks
1 small red onion, cut into 1/8th
8 ounces cremini mushrooms, halved
12 ounces asparagus spears, ends trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon fresh minced thyme
1 tablespoon fresh minced rosemary
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 shallots, minced
3 tablespoons minced ginger
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 28-ounce cans crushed tomatoes
¼ teaspoon saffron threads
3 tablespoons mascarpone cheese
12 ounce box whole wheat penne
Heat oven to 400. Place vegetables pieces in large bowl. In a small bowl, whisk olive oil, herbs, salt, pepper, vinegar, and lemon juice. Pour the liquid mixture over the vegetables and coat using tongs. Place on baking sheet and set in the oven for about 30-40 minutes, until the vegetables have cooked through. Set aside
Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add shallots and ginger and sauté until the shallots are soft (about 3 minutes). Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to boil and cook pasta according to package directions. Add garlic and sauté until fragrant, about 1 minute. Stir in the tomatoes and saffron threads. Simmer for 20 minutes, until the flavors come together. Stir in mascarpone cheese. Add all the vegetables, herbs, and liquid left on the baking sheet to the sauce and heat. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Toss the cooked pasta with the sauce.
33 comments:
This looks delicious.ReplyDelete
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Sometimes I'll put the word rustic in a recipe title because the food in question makes me think of something I'd enjoy somewhere on a balcony in the Mediterranean or the French countryside. Saffron-infused pasta with chunks of vegetables definitely fall into the former.ReplyDelete
I'm starving for a bowl of this pasta!:D
Wow, this looks awesome. I love all of the ingredients you put in this dish.ReplyDelete
This should go under the definition of comfort food, something you want to eat curled up on the sofa and I love the addition of saffron just makes it somehow fancy :)ReplyDelete
So much more than rustic! I love the layers of flavor you have going on there.ReplyDelete
Chunky vegetable pasta is an all time favorite at my house...regardless of what you call it :)ReplyDelete
This recipe looks amazing. I absolutely love the twist with the saffron - very inspired! I think, despite the bowl, that it is very rustic. Fabulous.ReplyDelete
Rustic or not, this sounds super tasty to me! I love the way you spruced up the tomato sauce!ReplyDelete
You have so many wonderful flavors going on in here! I love rustic food - especially when pasta is involved!ReplyDelete
I would so enjoy having this! Goodness all around. In my latest post, I've given you some awards!! Check them out - http://lovelypantry.com/2012/04/food-blogger-fun-and-awards/ReplyDeleteReplies
thank you soooo much Lyn, we are truly honored!Delete
Mmm I love pasta like this that is chock full of yummy veggies. Looks awesome.ReplyDelete
Lovely and packed with so much flavor and deliciousness!I love the addition of all these veggies and herbs, and the use of ginger is something I'm going to try since I've never used ginger in my pasta!Cannot wait to try :)ReplyDelete
I like this because it is heavy on the veggies and light on the pasta, which makes it quite healthy! The sauce with the touch of marscapone must taste amazing. Great dish-yum!ReplyDelete
This dish is more than a rustic pasta. With the addition of saffron, this pasta dish is an exquisite one too!ReplyDelete
I love pasta with chunky veggies but I'm the only one in the family who does. I always make some and add them to my plate. I'm going to try this. The mascarpone is a treat.ReplyDelete
What a delicious Pasta! Love the combo of saffron, ginger, and garlic.ReplyDelete
This looks amazing! I'll definitely be trying this...such a good combo of spices. Sausage or meatballs would be amazing in here as well. Mmm! Can't wait to try this out.ReplyDelete
I think it doesn't matter how it is called. What it really matters is how amazingly tasty it looks! The colors are blasting!ReplyDelete
I wish I had this for lunch right now!ReplyDelete
Love the chunky veggies!! I could eat pasta all day every day and never get sick of it :) Your sauce sounds absolutely delicious!ReplyDelete
Just the colors themselves make this dish look so pretty. And healthy, too.ReplyDelete
hmmmm....this is just awesome..;PReplyDelete
Tasty Appetite
Yummy recipe! Really good!ReplyDelete
yum! this definitely looks like my kind of pasta dish!ReplyDelete
this looks wonderful and great pictureReplyDelete
Oh, my! This looks delicious. I'd love this. I hope you have a great day. Blessings...MaryReplyDelete
It totally looks rustic to me, I get what you guys are saying lol. I wonder if I could trick myself into eating veggies this way...hmmmm :PReplyDelete
I am a true pasta fan and I can tell you that this looks really delicious. Vegetables, lots of spices and pasta, perfect!ReplyDelete
What a wonderful pasta dish - so colorful!ReplyDelete
looks good :)ReplyDelete
This is such a nice addition thanks!!!ReplyDelete
غلا الروح
شات صوتي
شات الغلا
صوتية الغلا
غلا الصوتيه
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شات صوتي غلا
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شات تمنيتك
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دلع ون
حبي كول
شات أميره الصوتي
وه الغربيه
نايس كام
شوق كام
سحر الكون
بنت ابوي
بوابة العرب
عرب كول
شات صوتي
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عذاب كول
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أرشفة مواقع وتصميم ، أرشفني


text:
Some Jerk With A Camera: Star Tours (1987-2010) w/ Spazz Master and The Wire
Original Air Date
May 28, 2011
Channel Awesome Air Date
November 7, 2014
[At Star Tours: The Adventures Continue, he is spanning the park using his phone]
Jerk: The speed ratings are off-the-chart! Oh, Hi. I'm Some Jerk with a Camera and welcome to my third episode, a three-way co-review of the original Star Tours, which ran at Disneyland from 1987 to 2010 before being replaced by Star Tours: The Adventures Continue. But, we'll get to that in a future episode. This episode was my very first time working with two very talented friends and collaborators who went on to basically become this show's supporting cast: SpazzMaster, whose various shows can be found at this URL [www.youtube.com/RBGProds] and, of course,The Wire [Jerk grabs her onscreen], whose show An Idiot's Lantern can be found at this URL [www.youtube.com/AnIdiotsLantern]
The Wire: Stop touching me.
Jerk: Okay. The Wire, what do you remember about shooting this episode on location at Disneyland?
Wire: I...remember... "Channel Awesome," keep this in mind, both Spazz and I are California-raised and we kind of grew up around Disneyland. So I remember, I really thought I knew what we were in for when we arrived to shoot that first video.
Jerk: So young and naive we all were.
The Wire: Yeah. Yeah.
Jerk: We were exhausted.
Wire: We were, that is still the most exhausted I have ever been at one of these parks.
Jerk: And...and that's saying something considering what I've put you guys through since then.
The Wire: Yeah, this guy [points at Jerk] does Disneyland like hardened criminals do prison. Consider that for a second.
Jerk: Not sure how I want to feel about that, but thank you, I guess. Uh, one thing I do want to say, we happened to shoot this review, by complete coincidence, on "Star Wars Day," May the 4th, on May 4, 2011. We released it on May 28, 2011, the week before this thing [Points at "Star Tours: The Adventures Continue"] opened and that was about a year and a half or so before Disney bought Lucasfilm, which is why there's no jokes or references to Disney buying Lucasfilm. And on that point-
Wire: [Interrupts] That's timing.
Jerk: Yeah, on that point, I'd like to say the following: to J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson, and whoever is directing "Episode IX," I know all three of you are watching, you have the opportunity to make the original ride cannon. All you have to do is you have to invent some reason for there to be a 3rd Death Star, blow it up, which you are gonna anyway, admit it, and put a StarSpeeder 3000 in the background. If you do that, you will earn my eternal respect.
Wire: It's that easy, or we get a Rex cameo. I want a Rex cameo instead.
Jerk: One thing at a time.
Wire: Better.
Jerk: (to camera) Enjoy!
[He and The Wire wave at us]
The Wire: It's your website, he's your problem now.
Jerk: That's right, come at me Greedo. I will shoot first! [Camera zooms in on Jerk's face]
[The scene then fades to black and then to the original episode. We start with the a version of the "Long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." text, but here it says: "A short time ago in a theme park across the street from an IHOP..." Then the opening crawl starts with the "Star Wars Theme")
Opening Crawl:
Some Jerk With A Camera
Episode III
Star Tours
Tours! Turmoil and unrest have engulfed the east side of the original magic kingdom. It is a dark time for the Land of Tomorrow, which continues crumbling under attacks by time itself.
Hoping to resolve the matter with a series of inexpensive amusements, the evil Galactic Executives create a strange hodgepodge of monorails, mountains of space, dysfunctional rocket rods, three-dimentional pop stars you turn into shrink machines and then back again when dead, and something called "Innovations" which is beloved by nobody.
As the Imagineers prepare to give up on the "future" theme entirely with a Finding Nemo ride, the lone constant in the galaxy remains a simulated flight to the mood of Endor. Upon learning of this alarming consistency, the Executives prepare to close it down for "enhancements"
[ By the time the 2nd paragraph of the Crawl ends, we hear Jerk's voice]
Jerk [Offscreen]: Hey, who left the light off?
[The blackness of space is the replaced with a room in Jerk's house, the stars and the crawl remain. Jerk is about to cross the room but notices the crawl from his perspective]
Jerk: Why are these words all backwards? [Shrugs] Damn kids.
[He exits frame and turns off the light, the blackness of space returned. But Jerk is now watching the crawl from offscreen]
Jerk [Offscreen]: Lets get some real music in here! [Wham!'s "Wake Me Before You Go-Go"plays ] That's the stuff! Ha-cha-cha!
[After the crawl, black outer space turns into the blue morning sky, a rooster crows, the camera then pans down on "Star Tours: The Adventure Continues" and in front of it, Jerk. He appears to be asleep while standing up. After the song abruptly ends at "Wake me up!" Jerk wakes up.]
Jerk: Ketchup! What? Oh, Hi! How long have I been out? [caption appears: "three months"] Wow. I better get started. What am I doing again? [The beginning of the opening crawl appears again, showing Jerk what he's reviewing] Right, right. Sad but true, folks. Star Tours, Disneyland's original groundbreaking motion simulator ride and the first Disney ride ever based on a non-Disney movie, closed its automatic doors in July of 2010.
Jerk [v/o]: After 23 and a half years and literally millions of flights to Endor in which the exact same things always went horribly wrong, on June 3rd, it will reopen with an entirely different ride without a storyline, utilizing elements from...
[Cut to Jerk standing beside the Star Wars: The Adventures Continue poster]
Jerk: [disappointed] *sigh* ... the prequels. [facepalm] I'm sorry, it's... This is going to be hard for me. I don't know if I can do this.
[Caption: "Meanwhile..."]
[We see The Wire and Spazzmaster reading books at a table next to a gift shop. Wire is reading a Game of Thrones book and Spazz is reading Screenwriting for Dummies.]
Wire: I sense a great disturbance in The Force... almost as if somewhere, somehow... Some Jerk with a Camera needs us. Spazzmaster, [slams her book on the table] I'm going to Disneyland. [Wire storms off to her left. Spazz gives an evil smirk and places his book down.]
Spazz: Finally. [He gets up from his chair and exits]
[Wire runs into a passersby, played by Byson Nysen, with a phone and grabs him by his shirt collar.]
Wire: Where is Disneyland?
Passersby: It's over that way. [Points to behind him. Wire pushes him aside and runs toward the park]
Jerk: But I know the original Star Tours must be reviewed before it's erased from all human memory just like the prequels were removed from C-3PO's memory, lucky bastard. And since I'm the only one who can possibly review it...
[Cut to Yoda from Empire Strikes Back]
Yoda: No, there is another.
[Cut back to Jerk, who faces The Wire at his right]
Jerk: The Wire of AnIdiotsLantern? You're my sister?
Wire: [confused] Nope, not as far as I know.
Jerk: Whew, thank god. Well, anyway, since The Wire and I are the only ones who can possibly review it...
Yoda: No, there is another.
[Cut back to Jerk, who faces SpazzMaster at his left]
Jerk: SpazzMaster? You're my sister?
Spazz: [sarcastically] Yes, I'm your sister.
Jerk: Whew, thank god...
Spazz: How dare you!!
Jerk: What?
Spazz: You stole my idea of shooting stuff at Disneyland!
Jerk: Oh yeah, I did.
Spazz: Yeah, my Top 20 video?
Jerk: Right, I've completely ripped you off.
Spazz: I'll bet you've never even heard of Disneyland until I posted that video.
Jerk: That is very true, but I think the more pressing issue right now is how The Wire is here. I thought you were trapped in a TV.
Wire: They have TV's at Disneyland, you know.
Jerk: Oh.
Wire: Nah, actually, I'm just dreaming.
Jerk: Oh, really. This is a dream sequence?
Wire: Yeah, for me. I'm making you up right now.
Jerk: How dare you. Wait, I thought this was my dream.
Wire: No, if it was your dream, there'd be way more Inception jokes.
Jerk: Oh, of course.
Spazz: Wait, whose dream is this?
Wire: It's a dream-within-a-dream.
Jerk: Look, Inception jokes are so last year. Enough of these dreamy sci-fi gobbledygooks. It's time to review the Star Wars ride!
All: EXCELSIOR!! [They pound their fists up in the air. They keep their poses for several seconds.]
Spazz: I'm still mad at you.
Jerk: I know.
[Cut to footage of the Opening of Star Tours]
Jerk [v/o]: Star Tours opened in Tomorrowland on Janurary 9, 1987, during an era when Michael Eisner miraculously knew what he was doing.
[Cut to the 3 reviewers in front of the "Sword in the Stone"]
Spazz: [Fairy tale Knight like accent] Did such an era actually exist?
Wire: [Also fairy tale knight voice] Are the fantastical legends true?
Jerk: [Also in fairy tale knight voice] Yes, my children, that era was very real! [Points at the sword] So sayeth the scripture upon this sword! [He then tries to pull it out, but can't. He makes several comical grunts each time he attempts a pull.]
Wire: [to Spazz] Do you want to say it or should I?
Spazz: Yeah I should. [To Jerk] So uh, Jerk?
Jerk: [In frustration from his failure to pull out the sword] What?
Spazz: Have trouble getting your sword out? [He covers his mouth to hide his snickering]
Jerk: [Still in his fairy tale knight voice] I swear this never happens to me! Just give me a minute to concentrate!
Spazz: Well, don't take more than 4 hours!
[He leaves the frame to continue laughing. We then cut black with the caption "One minute to concentrate later..." Jerk is still struggling to get the sword out]
Spazz: [To The Wire] So, you're in Disneyland's TV's?
Wire: Security cameras.
Spazz: Ah. So, you've seen...?
Wire: Oh, yeah. If I had a childhood, it would be violated by now.
Jerk: Could someone consult my physician!?!
[Cut back to footage of the ride]
Spazz [v/o]: Star Tours was the first thrill ride to ever use military flight simulators as vehicles. The original deal called for multiple destinations, but then...
[Cut to a clip from "Empire Strikes Back"]
Darth Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
Wire [v/o]: So, to save money, the ride was the same each time; a mercifully interrupted flight to Endor and for decades, "Star Tours" was the very last corner of the "Star Wars" universe untouched by George Lucas' [muted footage of an interview of him is shown with the caption "Worse than Satan"] rampant, psychotic destruction of his own legacy.
Jerk [v/o]: But as always, if it's not good enough for George, it's not good enough for you, no matter much you already love it, you morons.
[Cut to Spazz playing a Kid in a Disneyland gift shop]
George Lucas [v/o and arm and voiced by Tony Goldmark]: [Hands Spazz a plush toy of Bolt] Here kid, have a cute little puppy dog.
Kid: [Very happy] Wow, thanks George Lucas! [Hugs the toy] Oh, I love my new little puppy dog! I'm gonna love him forever.
George Lucas [v/o and arm]: [Grabs the toy from the kid] I'll take that!
Kid: [Disappointed] Hey!
George Lucas [v/o and arm]: Nah, this puppy isn't cute enough [throws it away], I'm gonna take it to ILM and make it a CGI groundhog that says "Whazzup?!?!" You're welcome [Gives him a thumbs up]
Kid: [Crosses his arms together] This is the worst Life Day ever!
Jerk [v/o]: I guess a "Star Tours" revamp was inevitable. I mean, Walt did create Disneyland as a place where things could change, because he too was frustrated that he couldn't change his movies after releasing them. And I have to wonder, if he had George's chutzpah, would he have even bothered with Disneyland or would he have just released a bunch of Special Editions where Bambi's mother shoots first or something? My point is: was "Star Tours" really still good enough for the 21st century or have twenty years of imagineering left it in the dust?
Wire: I don't know if I can be objective about this, guys. See, when my creator Morgan was some five years old, she hadn't seen Star Wars yet. So, she thought that those flight announcements and tourism videos that you watch in the line were real. And she kept asking her mother if they were absolutely sure she remembered the tickets.
Jerk: And?
Spazz: Did she remember the tickets?
Wire: No. No, she didn't because she was...
Spazz: Ohh!
Jerk: Right, because you had them.
Wire: No, N-n-no, there were no tickets.
Jerk: Ohhh!
Spazz: Right, because they were on will call.
Wire: Are you guys even listening to me?
Spazz: Ohhh!
Jerk: Right, because amphibians have one ventricle.
Wire: I'm going over there. [Wire exits, annoyed]
Jerk: Ohhh!
Spazz: Right, because Michael Bay is the antichrist!
Jerk: We're geniuses.
Spazz: High five!! [Spazz and Jerk attempt one, but they miss each other's hands. Spazz looks up, disappointed] Being in a dream sucks.
Wire [v/o]: So, as you get further ahead in line, you start noticing this project's most ingenious aspect: animatronic droids, including [A count down to 10 with the caption "Worst joke in (countdown clock)] long necked Wall-E[?]
Spazz: Actually, the long-necked Wall-E is a stripped down goose from the old "America Sings" attraction.
Wire: [The countdown is over here's the bad joke:] Now, usually when I want to strip down a robot goose, I have to buy it dinner first.
[Cut to Jerk doing the comedy rim shot at a drum set]
Jerk: [To the camera] I did that under protest.
Spazz [v/o]: Finally, you arrive at the front of the line and watch the pre-show safety video.
Safety Instructor [on video screen]: When the automatic doors are open, please be seated directly across the ramp.
[An example of people being seated shows Chewbacca and Admiral Akbar as passengers.]
Jerk: Okay, bullshit!! I rode that ride dozens of times and I never once got to ride with Chewbacca or the "It's-A-Trap" guy. Disney lied to me again!!
Wire: You're right, it really is a trap. Ugh, I bet that "when you wish upon a star" thing is bullshit, too.
Jerk: Yeah.
Spazz: No, it actually works. [Jerk and Wire look at Spazz in bewilderment and confusion] Yeah. That's how I won that new car. [Cut to Spazz sitting on the seat of the Mr. Toad car acting 'gangsta'. Cut back.] And how I won that pet goat. [Cut to Spazz at a petting zoo behind a goat acting 'gangsta'; cut back] And how I got trapped in that toy box. [Cut to Spazz in the Toy Story 3 toy box, once again, acting 'gangsta'; cut back] All through the power of star-wishin'! [Caption appears: "Star Wishin' TM"]
[Spazz gives a thumbs-up and smiles. He keeps that face throughout the entire scene, as if he's freeze-framed. The Wire snaps her fingers at Spazz's face, trying to get his attention.]
Announcer [v/o]: [sped-up] Star-wishin' is not for everyone. Side effects of Star Wishin' may include: [with caption] "headaches, backaches, nausea, glaucoma, insomnia, paranoia, pericarditis, diabetes, effervescence, random leaky discharge, wooden gallbladder, cancer of the soul, pancreatic liver, allergy to shellfish, tooth insurrection, silly voices, bacon lung, sudden total bone loss, bloody hangnails, bastardly earlobes, cancer of the pie, spontaneous combustion, random jellyfish, testicular strawberries, longshoreman's purple disease, existentialism, not enough pens, too many pens, almost just the right amount of pens, sugary bowel extractions, disgusting bloody death syndrome, rogue elephants, oral radiation, gonorrhea, random stabs in the heart with a knife, six-second pregnancy, the Wrath of God, and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver." Always consult your cricket before doing anything whatsoever.
Wire: Spazz, come back to us, man!!
Wire [v/o]: Then, after you enter the cabin, take your seats and fasten your safety belts, we are introduced to our ship's droid pilot Captain Rex, voiced by the Spleen [His character in 1999s "Mystery Men"] himself, Paul Reubens.
- George Lucas would later re-use the name, Captain Rex, for a clone trooper who appeared in "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" and "Star Wars: Rebels"
Jerk: Well, we've seen what he's capable of in a normal theater, what's be gonna do when the theater jerks around?
- In '91, Reubens was arrested for public masterbation is an adult movie theater.
[Realizing this, all three scream as we cut to footage of "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" where Pee-Wee Herman and his anthropomorphic furniture yell at the the word of the day. Cut back to footage of the ride.]
Captain Rex: I know this is probably your first flight and it's mine too [chuckles].
Wire: Here's a fun fact: You could ride that ride hundreds of times and it would always be Rex's first flight!
All: Must be Disney Magic!
Spazz [v/o]: So, then the actual ride would start up and of course; SOMETHING WOULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG!
[The ship starts flying out if control through out the space dock, until it finally heads into space.]
Captain Rex [v/o]: I meant to do that, a little short cut [Nervously chuckles].
[cut to a clip from "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure"]
Pee-Wee: [shouts] I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
[We see the ship starting to go into light speed.]
Capt. Rex [v/o]: Light Speed to Endor! [The ship goes into light speed and soon exits] R2, we passed the Endor moon!
Wire: Aww, but i wanted to see the Country Ewok Jamboree! [pan down to see she has her hand on an TNT plunger. She strokes the top] Soon, my pretty, very soon!
Jerk [v/o]: So, after an awesome sequence in which our Star Cruiser encounters a comet shower and enters a fuckin' comet! Woo!! We in a comet, yo!
Capt. Rex [v/o]: Well, we can relax now! Everything's under control and we'll be on our way to the Endor moon without any further delay. [Sees a trio of Star Destroyers in view.] Oh no, we're caught in a tractor beam!
Wire [v/o] Told you public transportation in California sucked!
[Cut to Spazz, Wire and Jerk on the Disneyland Monorail, they're all looking at their cell phones]
Announcer: [Speaks in a calm monotone voice throughout] Welcome aboard the Disneyland Monorail; the smoothest, safest, most energy efficient vehicle ever built. [Screams of other passengers are hear and the camera shakes as if the Monorail is also shaking, none of this perturbs Jerk, Wire, or Spazz from their phones] If you look to your right, you'll see we're being attacked by a hoard of robotic space monkey terrorists with killer bees. My god, that is sound of our monorail crashing into another monorail. Sweet, merciful heaven and humanity. [Machine gun fire is heard in the distance, they're still on their phones.] If the guests have already reverted to cannibalism and wish to jump into the fiery wreckage, you will need a handstand to re-enter the park. Tonight's showings "World of Color" are at 9pm and 10:15pm. Thank you and God help us all.
Spazz [v/o]: So, our Star Cruiser gets embroiled in an, honest-to-god, star war, even though this ride is supposed to take place after the movies.
- Before "Force Awakens" had an Empire that still survived, "The First Order." The Expanded universe books also showed a the remains of the Empire still fighting.
Wire [v/o]: Yeah, maybe these guys are like Civil War re-enactors.
[Cut to Jerk in the lobby of "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln," holding a Stormtrooper helmet, playing a star wars re-enactor.]
Re-eneactor: [W/ a southern accent] We of the "Star Wars Re-enactors Guild #52577" recognize all those weird freaky aliens who gave their lives to fight for and against the state's rights to blow up planets real good. It is for those crazy-weird looking aliens, those...those ugly, un-meetable, disfigured, freaks of nature before us, but-
[Cut to the people he's talking to, two guys, two girls, two of which are Wire and Spazz, the others are played by Byson Nysen and Kristine Slipson]
Guy [Spazz]: [Interrupts, yet still raises his hand] Uh, excuse me, but not cool! I'm part alien, [gestures to the other three] we all are!
Re-enactor: Really? But, you all look so humanoid.
Guy: Yeah, we all look humanoid, but that's because we've got a hundred years to crossbreed because our planets haven't been blowing up!
Girl [Wire]: And wait a minute, "State rights to blow up planets?" Are you pro planet explosion?
Re-enactor: I happened to think it looks cool. Now, are we gonna fight all day or are we gonna pretend to fight all day?
Girl: [Throws her arms in the air] Screw this! [Walks off frame]
Re-enactor: Fine, [Puts on Stormtrooper helmet] I'll re-enact the "Star Wars" myself! [He uses his hands as ships flying, lightsabers dueling, and more with the sound effects he makes. The others start to walk away, leaving him to his playing. He says in a falsetto voice] Oh no, it's the trap guy, ahh!
[Cut to the commercial break and afterward back to the ride where the Star Cruiser get hit by a laser from a Tie Fighter.]
Capt. Rex: Ah! We've been hit! [Ship starts to head towards the Death Star] R2, get the stabilizer fixed!
Jerk: [Looking angry] Why the hell is there a third Death Star?
Capt. Rex: And hurry, we're losing altitude fast! [R2-D2 responds back with his usual beeps and whistles]
Wire: Why the hell is there a third Death Star?
[Cut back to the ride as the view screen shows X-wing fighters and tie fighters in a dog fight.
Spazz: [Angry] No seriously, why the hell is there a third Death Star?
Capt. Rex: [Getting ready to do a trench run] I've always wanted to do this! We're going in!
Jerk [v/o]: I mean, don't get us wrong, yes, this is a fucking awesome sequence. Yes, it is so cool to be able to feel like you're doing this for real. But...
All three reviewers and a Fourth person: WHY THE HELL IS THERE A THIRD DEATH STAR?!?!
Fourth person [played Byron Nysen]: This is an outrage! I demand my time and money back!
Jerk: Who are you?
Fourth Person: I don't know. [He leaves]
[Cut to back to Star Tours footage. The StarSpeeder is flying around the landscapes of the Death Star.]
Speaker: Red 24, I'm going in. Cover me.
[Cut to what looks like a arcade flight simulator where Wire is in gear. She wears a pair of light-up sunglasses]
Wire: Red 24, are you going in?
[Cut to clip from Captain EO]
Captain EO: We're going in.
Wire: I was afraid of that.
[Back to Star Tours footage]
Speaker: I'm at target range! [The X-Wing Fighter in front of the StarSpeeder shoots at the Death Star causing it to explode] It's a hit!!
Spazz: That's right kids. Not only did they build a third Death Star, but they built the third Death Star with the same exact weakness as the first one. [Jerk emerges from the right as the camera follows him]
Jerk: What kind of idiot mad man would spend hundreds of millions of dollars on three massively destructive projects that are all equally weak- [stops and realizes] Ohhh.
[Cut to all the posters to the prequel trilogy, cut back to footage of the ride]
Wire [v/o]: So, Rex brings the cruiser home and, like any good robot, apologizes for all the fun we humans were foolish enough to have.
Capt. Rex: Hey, sorry folks. I'm sure I'll do better next time. Hey! Hey!
C-3PO: We do hope you enjoyed your tour at Endor and will come back soon.
[Cut to "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"]
Large Marge: Be sure and tell them Large Marge sent ya! [cackles]
Spazz [v/o]: So, we disembark and, for the first time in Disneyland history, we exit directly into a gift shop. Michael Eisner, you magnificent bastard.
[Cut to Jerk in said gift shop]
Jerk: And now, only this gift shop remains, until June 3rd, when the new ride opens. For better or worse, it'll never be quite the same. Despite all our prayers, the deal has been altered further. [Cut to the 3 outside Space Mountain, Spazz is drinking water] And I've gotta tell ya, I am cautiously optimistic.
Spazz and Wire: [Spazz almost does a spit take] What?!?!
Jerk: I know, i'm surprised too, but I am cautiously optimistic.
Spazz: Jerk, what is wrong with you?!?!
Wire: [Points at Jerk] He's a bitch!
[Spazz looking ready to throw his water bottle at him.]
Jerk: I'm sorry, but even after...
[Footage of the Prequels is shown with Weird Al's "The Saga Begins"]
Jerk [v/o]: ...Jar Jar and Watto and Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen and Jar Jar and Boss Nass and the rat tail [Referring to the braid Jedi Apprentices, mostly Obi-wan and Anakin, wear] and the midichlorians and Jar Jar and all the CGI and Jar Jar and Jar Jar and Jar Jar and Jar Jar and Jar Jar and the interminable C-span footage and that stupid fucking monologue about sand and all that [Cut to footage of a Patton Oswalt comedy special, Jerk repeats as he says:] "You get to see him [Darth Vader] as a little kid!" bullshit...
Jerk: ...and even after...
[Cut to a clip from "Revenge of the Sith"]
Darth Vader: Nooooo!
Jerk: [Throws his arms in the air] I still remain cautiously optimistic, sorry.
Wire: [places her hand on his shoulder] Jerk, you're among friends here, [Pulls out an Ewok plush toy] why don't you show us on the Ewok where "Star Wars" touched you?
Jerk: [Upset] I already told you, I must've been asking for it! [Throws the Ewok toy on the ground, talk in a normal voice] Look, the 2 things the Prequels kind of got right were [Cut to footage of...] the scenery and the chase scene. That's pretty much "Star Tours" to a 'T.'
[We cut to see the Wire talking the other 2, who are off screen, in front of the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" Ride]
Wire: You know, this whole thing just reminds me of how I felt about "Pirates" [Of The Caribbean Ride] being redone a few years ago.
[Cut to footage of the updated "Pirates Of The Caribbean" Ride with characters from the films to the "Pirates Life" song.]
Wire [v/o]: I know, the "Pirates" changes weren't actually that bad. But, I can remember a time when you were one lucky bastard if the line was ever less than an hour long.
Wire: And now, even on a busy day, you probably won't wait an longer than 15 minutes.
Wire [v/o]: I can understand why they wanted to update the ride. But, I can't help but think they lost some of the magic when they did so. Check out how they promoted "Star Tours" back in the 80s.
[Cut to an 80s commercial for "Star Tours." Footage looking like the Star Cruiser is actually flying out of the park and into space then to footage the Death Star from the ride.]
Announcer: Prepare yourselves for the ultimate Disneyland thrill attraction from the imagination of Disney and George Lucas! Because now, the adventure is real! "Star Tours" at Disneyland!
Wire [v/o]: Fucking epic! And look how they're promoting the new ride.
[Cut to the commercial for "Star Tours: The Adventure Continues." A guy is riding the ride nervous, he looks to his left to see...]
Admiral Ackbar: [Chewbacca is sitting behind him, reading a news paper] Bumpy flight and who know where we'll land.
[He looks to his right at his son and wife, Darth Vader is sitting behind him with his lightsaber lit]
Son: [To dad] What, are you scared?
Dad: [Nervously laughs] No.
Ackbar: Really? You look scared.
Wire [v/o]: Lower your expectations folks, they're playing the "See, this kid isn't scared! Ha ha! Why are are you such a pussy" card. Sitting there and judging me while I'm trying to get into the experience. He's supposed to be scared, you morons! Because scared is exciting!
Jerk [v/o}: Also, look how dead he [the son] looks whenever he's not talking. What, did they freeze Jake Lloyd in carbonite again?
[Cut back to the commercial where a Tusken Raider is staring at the mother.]
Ackbar: Ooh, somebodies got eyes for you.
[Cut to Jerk back at the drum set, shaking his head in refusal to do a rimshot. Then cut to a picture of the Peoplemover ride with the caption "Empty peoplemover track" and then the same for "The Escalator To Nowhere."]
Wire [v/o]: I'd rather see them spend money fixing stuff that's broken then possibly breaking stuff that's working. But, I don't make the decisions and hey, maybe someone had some sort of kick-ass idea that would make "Star Tours" so much more exciting and daring and kick-ass and funny and they simply just had to do it! Maybe, but I doubt it.
Spazz: Well, aside from what've already said in my video. I just have one question: WHY IS THE NEW RIDE IN 3D?
Spazz [v/o]: I know 3D usually makes motion simulators better. [His example is the Universal ride "The Amazing Adventures of Spider-man"] But guess what? "STAR TOURS TAKES PLACE ON A SPACESHIP!"
Spazz: If you're on a space ship and stuff from outside is coming at you, guess what, you're dead! You, your family, dead! Deader than that fucking plant in Wall-E would've been if kindergarten science hadn't mid-jacked like in the movies! [Cut to Spazz nearby a Star Tours promotional poster. Jerk is behind the camera.] These two don't belong in the same universe.
Jerk: How do you mean?
Spazz: Tie fighter, droid control ship. Original trilogy, prequel trilogy. AWESOME! SH-I-I-ITT.
Jerk: You know it takes place between the two, right?
Spazz: Oh, shut up! [Cut to the 3 in a more greener part of park.] And further more, why did they get rid of the waterfalls at the Disneyland Hotel? Walt would've LOVED those if he had lived long enough to see them. Bad show, Disney! Bad show! Bad show, bad show, bad show-bad-show-bad-show! [Spazz jumps up and down in circles while building up rage. He continues to yell "bad show" faster and faster. The Wire grabs him before he explodes.]
Jerk: Oh god. I've seen this before. He's going into full-on fanboy foamer mode.
Spazz: [Deep voice] There is no Spazz only Zuul!!
Jerk: There's only one thing that can possibly restore him.
Wire: You can't possibly mean!
Jerk: Yes! Dress up as slave Leia!
[cut to a picture of slave Princess Leia with Jerk's face photo-imposed on her face]
Jerk: Feeling better buddy?
[Cut to Star Tours gift shop]
Spazz: [pleased] I feel much better. Say, The Wire, one thing that still puzzles me. If this is your dream, how come there hasn't been any weird freaky dream stuff?
Wire: [holding a pink/yellow triceratops toy] Gee, I don't know.
Jerk: [talking with his hand] What are you guys talking about?
Spazz: We were just talking about ketchup-ketchup-ketchup-ketchup... [The footage of Spazz saying "ketchup" repeats intermixed with The Wire and Jerk saying "ketchup" with nightmarish voices at various pitches, and numerous crazy filters. This is also intercut with The Wire, Spazz Master and Jerk screaming, Jerk snatching the dinosaur toy from the Wire, clips from Willy Wonka in the nightmarish boat scene, Return of the Jedi, and The Three Stooges, The Wire flailing her fingers, Jerk in his car pouring opened ketchup packets on his face and Jerk making out with a Captain EO poster.]
[Cut to The Wire waking up from her 'dream'.]
Wire: Ugh... Oh... Ugh, what a horrible nightmare. Does real color burn like that? I can't remember. Oh! Make sure to join in next time when I talk about the ground-breaking 23rd season of that animated masterpiece, Ewoks. Isn't that right, Ketchup? [Holds a bottle of ketchup as the sounds from the last dream sequence fades in.]
[Cut to Jerk waking up from his dream]
Jerk: Oh god, what a horrible nightmare. Wait a minute. [pinching his wrist to see if he's still asleep] Cool. Well anyway, ketchup, ketchup, ketchup, ketchup, ketchup, ketchup, ketchup, [walks closer to the camera and shakes it around] KETCHUP! KETCHUP!!!!
Spazz: [wakes up] Oh! What a wonderful nightmare. I guess that assuming that Jerk JERK was just in my head the whole time, I'll be reviewing theme parks from now on, starting with whichever ride is in front of... Oh, come on!
[Spazz sees that he's in front of Captain EO. Cut to Rocko's Modern Life where Heffer Wolfe wakes up from his dream and breathes heavily. He gets up and walks toward his window.]
Heffer: What a nightmare! Maybe I should lay off the exercise for a while.
[Heffer's house turns into a cackling udder with a face with milk squirting out of it. The two other houses turn into laughing udder faces. Cut to clip from The Simpsons, Lisa is on the floor waking up from her dream.]
Lisa: Oh, it was just a dream.
Largo: That was a close one, Lisa, but you made it. And believe me, this is not a dream.
[Lisa screams. Cut to a clip from North, where the title character wakes up. He looks around to see the top from "Inception" spin, which fades to Jerk sleeping at the same place Spazz was sleeping. Jerk is wearing 3D glasses on his face]
Jerk: [Muttering in his sleep.] No, no, no it can't be happening. No, "Inception" jokes are so last year, it can't be happening if its so last year. Why the hell did I reference "North?" [He wakes up, he shivers. He takes off his 3D glasses and then pinches his wrist. We then see he's looking at the "Inception" top] Ok, mystical spinning top, do not lie to me, is this a dream? [We see the top is beginning to waver] I'll take that as a no. [Turns to the camera] Well folks, be sure to join me next time when I review whatever attraction is really right in front of me, because...
[He screams, it's Captain EO. Then cut to a clip from "Back To The Future," Marty [Mcfly] wakes up to see he's in a bed and the room is dark.]
Marty [Voiced by Jerk]: Mom, is that you?
Lorraine [Voiced by Wire]: There, there now, just relax. You've been asleep for almost a thousand years now.
Marty: I had a horrible nightmare, dreamt I went back in time to the 80s when Captain EO was still open and I was fat and I had glasses and Tommy Wiseau hair, it was terrible.
Lorraine: Well, you're safe and sound now back in Michael Jackson's mind.
Marty: [Realizes] Michael Jackson's mind?!?!
[Loraine puts the Light on, Marty gets up to see Captain EO shooting some rainbow laser from his hands as we cut to the "Back To The Future" 'To Be Continued->' logo shows to "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," which Jerk makes scatting noises over as we cut to the end credits. This is done in order to avoid the copyright bots he encountered when he first posted the video, to whom he ends his scat by singing, "Fuck you, bots!" In the middle of it we cut to The Wire.]
Wire: Oh, those cute, furry, little Ewoks, [She pulls out a toy blaster] their day is coming! [She does a Robocop like spin with is as we cut back to credits. Afterward, we cut to the 3 of them on the Califonia Screamin']
All 3: Until next time, we're some jerks with cameras! [And then the ride starts]
[The End]


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Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Nighttime Garden Fox
Nighttime Garden Fox is my newest "designed" piece. I'm really inspired by the fox family that took up residence in our yard. Looking forward to color planning this one, but am making myself wait until I finish "Raven Highlight" (further on down the blog) and bind off "She Luvs Fall." I may make a companion piece called, of course, Daytime Garden Fox!
3 comments:
- Tammy Burks said...
I can't wait to see you make this one come to life!!
You inspire me and make me want to hook your patterns too!!
- May 16, 2007 at 7:53 PM
- Billie in California said...
Great design! Thank goodness for a rug hooking blog........
Keep it up and take care.
- May 18, 2007 at 7:48 AM
- Ragamuffin Gal said...
The more I look at your design, the more I love it! It is so YOU! I can't wait to see what you do with it! Thanks for getting me started in rug hooking. You inspire me!!!
- May 19, 2007 at 11:05 AM
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Plaice is our seafood of the month for June! It's a fish that is easily identified by its orange spots, which also give an indication of the freshness (the brighter the spots, the fresher the plaice).
- A plaice's flavour is as pronounced as sole but it takes sauces and other flavours really well so makes a super tasty meal.
- Plaice falls into our top ten for omega 3? It has 750g of this healthy oil contained in it if you have it baked and breaded!
- Plaice is low in fat, making it a healthier, low-fat alternative to red or processed meat, which tends to be higher in fat, especially saturated fat.
- Plaice can be eaten as many times as you like during pregnancy and there are no restrictions regarding the number of portions.
If you are looking to fill yourself up on protein, this fish has 29.4g of protein per 140 grams (according to the Food Nutrition Table website). Just what is needed after a particularly hard work out to get those muscles recovering quickly.
Now we know the favourite of part of our seafood of the month blogs are the recipes, so let's get to it.
Kicking us off is our hot salsa filled plaice dish, which is just perfect for those summer evenings. Full of colour and you can even make your own salsa from scratch if you're feeling particularly adventurous.
Our crunchy plaice fingers recipe is ideal when having friends round to watch the World Cup. It takes around 30 minutes to create and makes a much tastier snack!
Feeling adventurous? The try this fruity plaice curry, its combination of tantalising flavours will have your mouth watering and asking for seconds. Plus it's also much healthier than a takeaway, great for those who are on budget.
Are you looking to impress a loved one to make up for the World Cup taking over your June and July? Then try this beautiful plaice with sundried tomato dish, it can be ready in less than 25 minutes and looks so impressive but is so easy to make.
Show of your creative plaice dishes by tweeting us at @FishistheDish.
Dawn x


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Goldmax Immigration Consulting Co., Ltd. (formerly known as Goldmax International Consultancy Company) is a company under the Goldmax Group of Companies. The Company is based in Hong Kong. There are different partners in Canada, the United States, Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, Europe, Singapore, the Philippines, Malaysia, China and Taiwan.
The Goldmax Group is a professional immigration consulting company composed of a number of legal advisors, professional accountants and senior immigration consultants. It has been providing immigration services for clients since 1992.


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17 octobre 2013
Le Vecteur - rue de Marcinelle 30 - Charleroi
On Air at Festival Livresse #16
5 pm - free entrance
The 16th edition of the festival focuse on journalistic writing through discussions, screenings, workshops, performance ...
In this context we selected for the audience the film :
On Air by Christophe Joly (53 ' - 2006 - USA)
Today, fewer than ten companies dominate the American media landscape. Those conglomerates control a large part of what Americans watch, listen to and read.
This narrowing of the culture has brought about the birth of alternative media. On air examines how this counter-current manifests itself throughout the United States, from the west coast to the east coast, and reveals the movement's existence, its engagement and its claims.
On air is a documentary on the resistance offered by the alternative media to the alarming situation related to news and information in most mainstream US media. Meet those who embody the vision of this new movement, journalists such as : Amy Goodman from Democracy Now ! David Fanning – Frontline, Roger Cohn – Mother Jones ; media analysts such as Danny Schechter – Mediachannel, Peter Hart – Fair ; Media producers and directors such as Robert Greenwald and Ian Inaba and authors such as Naomi Klein, Howard Zinn, as well as many other voices of this counter-current.
Le Vecteur - rue de Marcinelle 30 - Charleroi
17 octobre 2013 de 17h00 à 18h30


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Featuring Gareth Bale, James Rodrigues, Luis Suarez and Karim Benzema, Adidas launched their new line of soccer shoes in a cool commercial.
This ad interests me for several of reasons: It's different. It keeps my eyes peeled to the ad. The message and attitude are positive.
The storytelling process is unique, with a bit of humor. The quick-changing scenes and images with bright colors grab attention. Along with strong narration, the whole ad is engaging from start to finish.
The message: No matter how hard you try, chances are, there will be haters for you being you. So, ignore the haters and do the best you can.
This should be the way storytelling is done in commercials, in my opinion.
A cool message from a cool ad, don't you agree?