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Performance Art at the Fall 2013 Expressive Arts Opening
One of my favorite parts of the Expressive Arts Opening of the Psychology and Counseling Program is the student artists' presentation of their own work as "Performance Art".
One of my favorite parts of the Expressive Arts Opening of the Psychology and Counseling Program is the student artists' presentation of their own work as "Performance Art".
Commencement July 14, 2013
Welcome graduates and families and friends, welcome students, welcome everybody to the Goddard MFA in Creative Writing graduation ceremony here at Port Townsend. And congratulations, graduates, for successfully completing a rigorous and life-changing two years of study and writing. You have been honing your creative writing skills in the protected environment that is our program and you're now preparing for the next step— taking those skills out and testing them in the world.
Students and Alumni:
Carolyn Bardos (MFAW '10) is producing a short play of Gary Garrison's as part of an evening of short plays. The dates are: Sat., Oct. 26, 7 p.m., Sun. Oct. 27, 3 p.m., Sat., Nov. 2, 7 p.m., and Sun., Nov. 3, 3 p.m. The place is: The Arts Center of the Capital Region, 265 River St., Troy, NY. $10, $8 for seniors and students. Cash at the door.
I have returned to Goddard for fall residency and am immediately inspired. Students have shared their work at our Psychology and Counseling Expressive Arts Opening and the principles of Expressive Arts Therapy are embodied by the works created as well as by the creators.
John Borstel, "Painting My Face: A Daily Practice"
Several readers of this blog were excited by the idea of installing the good and said they were going to try it. Their responses then excited me and their remarks pushed me to think further about outcomes and purposes.
As part of the MFA in Interdisciplinary Arts (MFAIA) Vermont Fall 2013 curricular offerings, I am facilitating a gr
A few blocks from where I now live, on a late summer afternoon, I stopped in my tracks and stared at the sidewalk for some time. I was an undergraduate art student, probably 19 years old, and particularly vexed by the opaque and impenetrable rationale of the art school curriculum I was enduring. Somehow, in my furious walk from campus toward my apartment, for the first time I articulated a question that would become a central concern of my career: how do we learn anything?
Energy Efficiency and Reduced Carbon Emissions
Students and Alumni
Charlie Bondhus's (MFAW '05) second poetry book, All the Heat We Could Carry, winner of the 2013 Main Street Rag Poetry Book Award, is now available for preorder.
Tony Mena (MFAW) had an essay posted online by The New York Times.


text: Video of the Chinese Aquatic Center – The Watercube November 20, 2008 / Jim / Architectural Lighting, Environmentally Friendly Design, Video From the post earlier about the big award the Watercube just won, here's some video of the Watercube. This is the kind of work that makes you wish you had a hand in it. Also, check out this architect's concept video of the Watercube: Share some JimOnLight: Related Chinese Aquatic Center, Video, Watercube, youtube

subset: commoncrawl


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It Was 42 Months Ago Today (More or Less)
Do you know if James Kochalka has ever given any thought to a Superf*ckers series or feature? (I'd think Adult Swim would've been all over the series.) I'd love to hear if he and Top Shelf are interested.
That was in an email from me to Chris Staros at Top Shelf Productions way back on May 21, 2009. I'm gratified all of us - Frederator, Top Shelf, and James - remained so persistent in getting a SuperF*ckers cartoon made, especially after having been turned down by every network and his sister.
It's taken 3 1/2 years to get to today's premiere, but it was well worth it.
— Eric
P.S. Thanks to Eric Robles for turning us onto SuperF*ckers in the first place.


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Housing Reservations
Reservations can be made through Experient beginning on April 15, 2014. After July 14, 2014, all reservations must be made directly with the hotels. To reserve a room for the 2014 APA Annual Convention, choose one of the following methods:
Use the interactive website to make your hotel reservation online; or
Call Experient, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Central Time, at 1-800-974-3084 (toll free) or 847-996-5876 (international). Two reservations per call.
Download and print an APA Hotel Reservation Form (PDF, 51.5KB) and:
- Fax: Send a completed Hotel Reservation Form, using one form per reservation request, to 888-772-1888 (toll free) or 301-694-5124 (international); or
- Mail: Send a completed Hotel Reservation Form, using one form per reservation request, to Experient, P.O. Box 4088, Frederick, MD 21705
Experient will send you a confirmation. Review it carefully for accuracy. Room confirmation will be sent only to the primary person requesting the reservation. If you do not receive a confirmation by email, fax, or mail within 14 days of sending your request, please contact Experient or call them at 800-974-3084 or 847-996-5876.
All hotels require a guarantee with each reservation request. Requests received without a credit card for the required guarantee will not be processed. Please fill out the credit card information in its entirety. Credit cards must be valid through August 2014 to be processed and considered a proper guarantee. Guarantees can be made by providing an American Express, VISA or MasterCard credit card number on your hotel reservation form.
Persons sharing a room are requested to send in only one Hotel Reservation Form with the names of all of the occupants of the room. By law, there is a limit of four persons to a room, and some hotels will not accept reservations for four persons in a room. Room confirmation will be sent only to the person requesting the reservation.
Changes and Cancellations
Changes or cancellations made on or before July 14, 2014, should be made directly with Experient. After July 16, 2014, you must contact your confirmed hotel directly. Deposits are fully refundable for cancellations received prior to 72 hours of arrival. Deposits will be forfeited for cancellations made within 72 hours of scheduled arrival.


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Product Information
Customer Reviews
Improve player safety during batting practice with the PRIMED™ Instant L-Screen. The PRIMED™ L-shaped protective screen is ultra-lightweight and fully adjustable for both right-handed and left-handed pitchers. Designed for both baseball and Fastpitch softball play, the Instant L-Screen is constructed from high-grade composite and metal materials for long-lasting performance and durability. Easy and fast to assemble.
- L-shaped baseball protective screen protects pitcher's from line drives
- Lightweight design allows for easy portablitly and storge
- Adjustable for both left and right-handed baseball and Fastpitch players
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Rated 3.2 out of 5�by 15 reviewers.
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Rated 1 out of 5�by GolfPro Poor Design Set up was not very easy. Once assembled the tension caused the screen to bow and be unstable. May 22, 2014
Rated 1 out of 5�by icequeen broke it during orignal set-up :( Bought this screen because it would be easily portable. When setting it up for the 1st time in the front yard (so it would be ready to go for practice the next day) we SNAPPED a weld while following set up directions. VERY disappointed. However, we had no problems at the store when returning it. May 8, 2014
Rated 5 out of 5�by Dave from Detroit Lightweight, easy to use and effective We have used the product several times and found it to be effective to stop hard hit baseballs (16+ year olds) protecting the coach/pitcher as advertised. This product is much lighter in weight than some other products we haved used in the past and is no more difficult to assemble than others. Very happy with purchase April 17, 2014
Rated 4 out of 5�by Mcobb20 Easy to use. Product is as described. Easy to use, quick setup after first time. Light weight and easy transport. Working well for our 10 year old baseball team. Good price. April 16, 2014
Rated 1 out of 5�by kgbme Good concept but low quality net Really liked the screen until the net broke in a couple of places after 3 uses about 40ft away. The screen was garage kept and my son is 14. So, unless he is the next Babe Ruth, I would say the net is poor quality. April 9, 2014
Rated 4 out of 5�by Pbttt Not bad I bought this for a very good price so it's definitely worth the cost however it is a bit more cumbersome to put together versus the instant screen March 18, 2014
Rated 3 out of 5�by Nelly You get what you pay for This lasted about 2 days before a ball ripped right thru it. If you want something that is quick and easy to set up, then this is what you need. We put a tarp on the bottom half so the line drives don't go thru. It does the trick, but we will have to get something sturdier soon. March 18, 2014


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First up: Damn. According to Space City Rock (via Pegstar), the upcoming Guided by Voices show next Monday (Sept. 24) at Warehouse Live has been canceled. That would have been cool. Anyhow, if you're a fan of shimmery guitars and sad songs, get thee to Cactus Music this evening at 5 p.m. sharp, for ... More >>
America: Fri., June 25. Stafford Centre. American Sharks, Scorpion Child, Betaplayer: Thu., April 22. Boondocks. Cyndi Lauper: Thu., Aug. 12. House of Blues. Colbie Caillat: Fri., Aug. 27. Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. Delta Spirit, David Vandervelde, The Romany Rye: Wed., July 16. Mango's. "D ... More >>
A few local discs to sizzle with
October 4-6
Houston Press Music Awards Showcase 2002
Created by the folks who provide "entertainment" to military bases, VQ Live hopes to keep the non-GI Joes happy
Clandestine -- Dave Nevling and the Blues Kats -- Tommy Dardar and the Sheetrockers


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See what cute and creepy treats our Pinterest followers are loving for a ghostly Halloween!
Attend a show for a fun and unique night out where you can learn new skills and make memories that'll last a lifetime!
Perfect dinners in a pinch with 316 quick-and-easy recipes!
Peggy Woodward, RD
DEAR PEGGY: Why do recipes specify unsalted butter and then call for salt? Why can't you just use salted butter? —M.C., Lacey, Washington
PEGGY:Good question! Butter manufacturers use different amounts of salt in their salted butter. Therefore, the amount of salt in your finished recipe can differ depending on the brand of butter you use. As a result, recipes sometimes call for unsalted butter and then add salt in order to standardize the amount in a recipe. Also, salt acts as a preservative in butter, so unsalted butter is sometimes fresher, which may give you a more desirable taste. In most cases, you can substitute salted for unsalted butter (omitting the added salt in the recipe) if you prefer it and are not concerned about the small discrepancy in taste.
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18591 East 64th Avenue has a Walk Score of 8 out of 100. This location is a Car-Dependent neighborhood so almost all errands require a car.
This location is in the DIA neighborhood in Denver.
Nearby restaurants include Moonlight Diner, DiCicco's Italian Restaurant and Ruby Tuesday.
18591 East 64th Avenue is near Art Institute of Colorado, Qwest Communications Headquarters and DaVita Headquarters.
There are minimal bike lanes and the terrain is flat as a pancake. 18591 East 64th Avenue is somewhat bikeable, there is minimal bike infrastructure.


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A Unique Gallery of Unexpectables...just plain cool..ever-changing one of a kind merchandise. more
Home Page more
Bottalico Gallery - Paintings, Murals, Hand Painted Furniture & Accessories(often Trompel'oeil,fool the e... more
Wedding photography tampa, Family Portraits, Children Portraits, Wedding Photography florida, portrait ph... more
fine art,jewelry and photography gallery which showcases oil, pastel, graphite, and collage media,. more
art, pottery, sculptors, paintings, ceramics, oils, acrylics, abstracts, landscapes, whimsical, tropical ... more
Local Premium Listings
If you are looking for a car DO NOT go to The Car Store. Nephew bought one and it broke down on the way ... more
© 2014 Local Corporation - US Patent 7,231,405
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Get the latest news and information on Safariland products, events and
programs, or view our press release archive.
January 01, 2006
Ontario, CA
New for Safariland's 2006 line-up are two new concealment belt slide holsters – Models 6351/6361 - that incorporate their innovative Automatic Locking System (ALS™) as the means of weapon retention. With the Safariland ALS™ system, once the weapon is holstered, it "locks" into place providing additional security from typical open top holsters. The device is completely operable with the thumb, making it very instinctive to use. Plus, once the retention device is released, the weapon can be drawn straight out of the holster with no twisting or other motion required. Also available are Models 6358/6368 in a paddle version.
The Model 6351 is a low profile ALS™ version featuring the ALS internal locking mechanism that locks into the ejection port as the means to retain the weapon. The Model 6361 features Safariland's time-tested Self Locking System (SLS) system as the primary security system, combined with the ALS® for further retention capabilities. Both models are worn on the belt in a semi-hi-ride position with a slightly forward weapon cant. They ride close to the body aiding in concealment and comfort. Additionally, they feature suede lining to help protect the gun's sights and finish, and the SAFARI-LAMINATE™ structure with wraparound design provides the strongest design combination available.
The Model 6351 is offered in a Plain Black SAFARI-LAMINATE™ finish or STX Tactical™ finish with an MSRP of $100.00 and $85.00 respectively. The Model 6361 with SLS is offered in the same finishes with an MSRP of $140.00 and $125.00 respectively. Both are offered in four belt loop sizes: 1.5", 1.75", 2.0" and 2.25". Available now for the most popular semiauto fits.
About Safariland®
With an industry reputation for INNOVATION, NOT IMITATION®, Safariland® has earned worldwide renown for its holsters and accessories. Safariland® Duty Gear manufactures holsters, belts, magazine and handcuff cases for law enforcement, military and sporting good markets worldwide. For more information go to www.safariland.com.
About Armor Holdings
Armor Holdings, Inc. (NYSE: AH) is a diversified manufacturer of branded products for the military, law enforcement and personnel safety markets. Additional information about the Company can be found at www.armorholdings.com.
Safariland AHPG Contact:
Hope Bianchi Sjursen
Project Manager, AHPG
Tel: +1
Armor Holdings Products Group Contact:
Lucy Reep
Director, Marketing Communications
Tel: +1 904 741 1750
Contact Us


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Sitting on the Gulf of St Tropez, Port Grimaud is a unique town, purpose built so that Port Grimaud villa owners could park their yacht right outside their front door! The complex network of canals and two thousand houses (of which no two are remotely the same), were built from the 1960's onwards, and have created a truly remarkable holiday destination on one of the finest stretches of coastline in southern France.
Port Grimaud was designed to age as a traditional fishing village would, and the brightly painted villas in Port-Grimaud have done exactly that. With no roads, Port-Grimaud is a wonderful place to walk, with beautiful little bridges linking the many islands upon which the village stands. Water taxis are also available, so if you end up buying more than you can carry from one of the town's two large squares, help is at hand! There are a surprisingly good range of shops and restaurants around Port-Grimaud's squares, and there is even a weekly market from which to pluck the finest of local produce. The waterfront bars, restaurants and cafes are particularly atmospheric, especially in the summer.
Of course, those renting self catering Port-Grimaud accommodation will be want to know about the local beaches, which, being on the Gulf of St Tropez, are of the highest quality. There are two glorious beaches at the head of the complex, both easily accessible on foot from any of Port-Grimaud's villas. Water sports are in rich supply, and you can always join a game of volleyball on Port-Grimaud beach. Water skiing, wakeboarding, jet skiing, snorkelling, kayaking, windsurfing, body boarding and, of course, sailing all thrives from Port-Grimaud, and if there is any water sport that you would like to try, but cannot find in Port-Grimaud, St Tropez is just across the water.
Your choice of activity is not limited to water sports from a holiday rental in Port-Grimaud though. On the landward side of the complex are golf courses, riding stables and a huge range of walking and mountain biking trails. The golf courses of Beauvallon, Sainte Maxime and Gassin are all within easy reach of a Port-Grimaud property.
Port-Grimaud is excellently connected to St Tropez and Saint Raphael by ferry, which is especially useful as travelling local roads during the summer can be very slow and testing. St Tropez and St Raphael are beach resorts of the highest quality, offering plentiful water sports, excellent nightlife and some of the region's best restaurants. St Tropez is one of the most famous beach resorts in Europe, known as a playground for the rich and famous.
Port-Grimaud is only at full capacity for about 4 months of the year, as the blissfully hot summer months, from June until the end of September, bring residents home to bask in daily temperatures which often threaten to break the 40?C mark. Eating outside in the evening is fantastic, as the evenings remain balmy throughout the summer months.
The closest airport to a Port-Grimaud property is Toulon-Hyeres (TLN), which is located within 50km, and receives Ryanair flights direct from London Stansted (STN). Alternatively, Nice International Airport (NCE) is around 90km away, but receives a great range of flights from airports throughout the UK. A hire car is not necessary, and you will not be able to park it within the complex anyway.


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Men's Wenger® Swiss Military Sports VII Watch
Item # WX2-145907
- Google+
This item cannot ship via any of our Next Day or Second Day Express delivery methods.
This item is shipped directly from the factory. To see the expected shipping date, please add to your Shopping Cart. Sorry, no express shipping available. We are unable to ship factory direct items to Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico or APO or FPO addresses.
- Details & Specs
Men's Wenger® Swiss Military Sports VII Watch... perfect precision, tough masculine style!
Crafted by the famous maker of the Genuine Swiss Army Knife! One look at this watch, and you know it's going to mark your minutes accurately for many years to come, and look great on your wrist.Watch works:
- Accurate Swiss quartz movement
- Black dial and Stainless bracelet
- Water-resistant to 330 ft. (100 m)
- Luminous hands, numerals and markers that recharge in seconds
- Date display
- Mineral crystal.
Up to the minute accuracy... order yours ONLINE now!
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Don't Forget
3-Watch Storage and Display CaseBuyer's Club $9.99 Non-Members $9.99
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Collector's Cabinet Display Case, Ash FinishBuyer's Club $71.99 Non-Members $79.99
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Women's Luminox® Colormark WatchBuyer's Club $329.99 Non-Members $329.99


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FRIDAY, May 20 (HealthDay News) -- Edurant (rilpivirine), in
combination with other antiretroviral drugs, has been approved by
the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to treat HIV-1 infection in
adults who haven't taken any prior HIV therapy
HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. Edurant, a so-called
non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitor (NNRTI), blocks the
virus's ability to reproduce itself. The pill is taken once daily
with food, the FDA said in a news release.
Edurant was evaluated in a pair of 48-week studies involving
1,368 adults infected with HIV. Compared to another NNRTI,
efavirenz, Edurant was as effective in lowering amounts of the
virus in a person's blood, the agency said.
The most common adverse reactions reported were depression,
insomnia, headache and rash.
Since Edurant does not reverse HIV infection, people must
continue taking the drug, in combination with other anti-HIV
medications, to prevent HIV-related illness, the FDA said.
Edurant is produced by Tibotec Therapeutics, based in Raritan,
More information
aids.gov to learn more
about HIV/AIDS.
Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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Lynchburg - The 39th Virginia 10 Miler is this Saturday morning, 8 o'clock start at E.C. Glass High School.
The race continues to grow. Race Director Jeff Fedorko says more than three thousand total runners and walkers will take off from the start line at 8. In addition, four of the last five champions are back this year. Fedorko calls it the most talented field the race has had in many years. Runners from six different countries will compete, Poland, Russia, Ethiopia, Kenya, the U-K and the United States.
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A new coupon is available for $2/1 PF Chang's Frozen Meals. I haven't tried these yet, actually I haven't even seen them, but I'm sure they will become more popular.
(Thanks, Free Snatcher!)
Don't forget to check out the Coupon Database for all available coupons. This site uses affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.


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Social equality and state welfare effort: More income-equality, no more equality in quality of life
AbstractCross-national studies on happiness have focused on differences in level of happiness. The focus of this paper is on spread in happiness in the nation, also called 'inequality in happiness'. Inequality in happiness in nations can be measured by the size of the standard deviation of responses to survey questions about the 'overall appreciation of one's life-as-a-whole'. This paper considers spread in happiness in 28 countries around 1980. Contrary to notions of a 'divided' society none of these countries shows a bi-modal distribution of happiness. All distribution are uni-modal, but the distributions are not equally flat. There are considerable differences in size of the standard deviations. These differences are not a statistical artifact of variation in level of happiness and appear quite constant through time. Inequality in happiness appears to be greater in the socio-economically most unequal countries and smaller in politically democratic and economically developed nations. Contrary to expectation, inequality in happiness appears to be more closely linked to social equality among rich nations than among not-so-rich ones
Download InfoIf you experience problems downloading a file, check if you have the proper application to view it first. In case of further problems read the IDEAS help page. Note that these files are not on the IDEAS site. Please be patient as the files may be large.
Bibliographic InfoPaper provided by University Library of Munich, Germany in its series MPRA Paper with number 11277.
Date of creation: 1992
Date of revision:
Handle: RePEc:pra:mprapa:11277
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Fax: +49-(0)89-2180-3900
Web page: http://mpra.ub.uni-muenchen.de
More information through EDIRC
Related researchKeywords: happiness; welfare state; cross-national;
Find related papers by JEL classification:
- H42 - Public Economics - - Publicly Provided Goods - - - Publicly Provided Private Goods
- D31 - Microeconomics - - Distribution - - - Personal Income and Wealth Distribution
- H55 - Public Economics - - National Government Expenditures and Related Policies - - - Social Security and Public Pensions
- I31 - Health, Education, and Welfare - - Welfare, Well-Being, and Poverty - - - General Welfare, Well-Being
- O57 - Economic Development, Technological Change, and Growth - - Economywide Country Studies - - - Comparative Studies of Countries
- I38 - Health, Education, and Welfare - - Welfare, Well-Being, and Poverty - - - Government Programs; Provision and Effects of Welfare Programs
- H53 - Public Economics - - National Government Expenditures and Related Policies - - - Government Expenditures and Welfare Programs
- D60 - Microeconomics - - Welfare Economics - - - General
- N40 - Economic History - - Government, War, Law, International Relations, and Regulation - - - General, International, or Comparative
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Exploring Your Birth Philosophy
Sara, the mother of a three-year-old girl and a five-month-old boy, knew from the very beginning what she wanted for the labor and delivery of both of her children. "I really wanted to avoid a C-section and an episiotomy, if it all possible," Sara confides, "and I wanted to do all I could to ensure that breastfeeding would get off to a good start." So when Sara first found out that she was pregnant with a little girl, she looked for a practitioner who shared her views on childbirth.
There are as many childbirth philosophies as there are practitioners. The trick, as an expectant couple, is to locate someone who matches your personal birth philosophy. Some women plan on demanding an epidural as soon as contractions start, while others feel more comfortable with a holistic approach and various pain-management techniques. Some pregnant women hope for a room filled with their family's smiling faces, while others want to labor alone in peace and quiet.
Sara found her perfect fit with a freestanding birth center; it was staffed by midwives with an OB available for transfer to a nearby hospital in case medical intervention was needed. On Sara's first prenatal visit to the birth center, she and her husband were both impressed. "We were totally sold—everything we wanted was standard with them, and they had the same philosophies as we had about pregnancy and birth (and a lovely birth center suite!)," says Sara.
When they conceived their son, Sara and her husband, Sam, decided to deliver at their Southern Maryland home. An inquisitive researcher at heart, Sara took the time to read books and articles, peruse websites, and talk with friends to establish her list of homebirth requirements. She came to certain conclusions about her birth philosophy and then sought out a practitioner and facility that could help her have a great birthing experience.
Understand Your Options
While Sara chose the natural childbirth route, it's not for everyone. No matter what your labor and delivery style, it's important to think about your options. Major questions arise when it comes to deciding how labor and delivery will be handled. Perhaps, like Sara, you've already investigated your options and have a clear picture of the kind of labor and delivery you want. Or maybe you haven't considered your options at all.
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"Startups hope to address Phoenix's problems"
Justin Rohner, owner of Agriscaping Technologies, helps customer Nicole Miller pick from excess fruits and vegetables on Wednesday, May 28, 2014, at the Farmers Market at Power Ranch Barn in Gilbert. Agriscaping Technologies is a business aiming to improve local food access and quality by transforming landscapes into edible food gardens.(Photo: David Kadlubowski/The Republic)
See video and Full article Here: http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2014/06/03/seed-spot-startups-phoenix-societal-problems/9879805/


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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Jonisjalopy said...
Just FYI, they do still make the Taurus.
Still a piece of crap, but they make it :D
I can honestly say that I have not seen very many on the roads in the past couple years; ever since they introduced the Focus.
Regardless, I feel for you Fox; my first car (that wasn't a "hand-me-down" from my beat-a-car-to-death brothers) was a Taurus. Hideous thing that got horrible gas mileage, had constant electrical problems (at one time I had no power windows, power locks, windshield wipers, or power steering, due to electrical issues) as well as the paint was flaking off when it was barely 5 years old. It really was a PoS, but I had fun in that car...oh, to be back in High School.
Robin Torres said...
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
(love your avatar)
Oh, on topic. Ummmm Yay Shadowpriests!
not an insult here, but im guessing you arent car people lol
you probably see more of the taurus than you think, but they are completely redesigned for 2010, and were renamed the ford 500 for the last 4 or 5 years or so. why ford decided to axe the most well known car name for a random number? who knows. poor marketing decision i guess, or needed to ditch the crappy car stigma, but they realized it and fixed it. and at the same time made the taurus totally badass. http://www.fordvehicles.com/cars/taurus/
i would actually really like to have one, and that would be switching from an 06 mustang gt so i think that says something about the car. especially the taurus SHO, those are pretty awesome. though priced a bit high, and a good new v8 would do about the same mpg and power, so the turbo 6 deal really isnt as sensible as it first seems. just my opinion.
but crappy cars? definitely not anymore. its not the 80's anymore, time to dump the ignorant "american cars suck, foreign cars are king!" stereotype, domestics are back at the top and are great cars again. and if you think a camry or accord could even pump the gas for a taurus, or new chevy malibu for that matter, youre a fool!
just sayin, theyre out there, you probably just dont realize what they are when you see them because they are much different now than they were.
also, the picture for the article was pretty funny stuff. some wicked good paint skills there.


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Floyd Mayweather Jr. is the biggest star in the sport of boxing, but you better enjoy his next few fights because Mayweather said that they will be the final fights of his career. Mayweather will be 38 years old for his next fight and he doesn't want to fight much longer.
If he has his wish, Mayweather will hang up the gloves in September of 2015.
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— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) January 18, 2014
As for his upcoming fight in May, it seems all but certain that the bout on May 3 will be a big fight against Amir Khan.
Argentinian WBA welterweight champion Marcos Maidana was also viewed as a possibility, but after Adrien Broner triggered the rematch clause in his contract the road is clear for Mayweather vs. Khan to go down.
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Really? "Sometime's?"
Sometimes looking through tumblr posts absolutely disgusts me. I've built up a certain amount of resilience with regard to grammatical and syntactical ineptitude, but some of the mistakes I see are absolutely mind-boggling. The absurd uses of apostrophes, the over/under-use of punctuation, the flagrant misspellings of words; sometimes it's just more than I can stand. You can call me a nerd, but I'd rather be a nerd than an idiot.
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How to stop worrying and love myself
November 27, 2011
Lately I have been binging on self-help books, surfing the internet for articles on family issues -- I just want an answer, to know what went wrong and how to fix it. But everything seems hollow. I feel horribly stuck and I desperately want to move forward and I don't know how. Lots and lots of details inside.
My family of origin was a bit of a mess. Loving in many ways, I hasten to say. We were very religious - I spent a great deal of my childhood worrying about going to hell. My mother was temperamental and controlling. I really struggle to explain our relationship. In many ways it was a power game in which I comforted myself that she was "losing" every time she yelled at me or slapped me and I remained calm and said nothing. I was not allowed to express anger towards my mother (though she was often and easily angry at me). I remember being jealous of other people's kids because she would be so much more patient with their behavior than with mine. Because of our insular religion and my shyness I had few friends. I was bullied at school and simply never told anyone because I was so ashamed of it and because I rarely confided anything to my parents.
I live far away from my mom now which really helps our relationship. She has apologized for a lot of the things that happened when I was a kid but she also makes excuses for her behavior. These conversations go with her piling on self-recrimination while I comfort her and secretly resent that it's still ALL ABOUT HER.
I have suspicions than my mother may have been abused as a child by a family member with a possible undiagnosed personality disorder.
1. I am now well into my 30s and have been unable to ever establish a long-term relationship. I practically break out in hives when a guy makes it clear he really likes me. I date men who I am immensely attracted to and who are emotionally distant, I try to be casual, and then they move on and I feel like my heart's been ripped out. Right now I'm sleeping with someone I'm actually uncomfortable with and dislike a little just because I know I won't fall for him. When I think of being married I think of that horrible claustrophobic feeling of my childhood and just panic. But at the same time I desperately want to be loved.
2. I think my mom would try to do things that would make our relationship better if I asked for them, I just don't know what would help.
3. I struggle a lot at work and fall easily into unhealthy dynamics where an angry and controlling manager can be someone I am both deeply resentful of and very anxious to please.
4. I'm stupid about a lot of basic things. For example, I hide problems - particularly at work. A friend pointed out to me once that X would be much better if I simply told the manager in question that X was becoming a problem and that I had done my best with it and now needed help. It was a revolutionary idea but I still struggle with it - my instinct is to try to solve problems secretly before they can be noticed. I have the feeling I am stupid about other things as well.
5. I will go to great lengths to avoid criticism, confrontation and anger. I'm probably a bit passive aggressive and manipulative. I recognize myself in some of the descriptions but what I do feels more like self-preservation than malice.
6. I keep establishing friendships with women who are critical of me and being hurt and angry at their criticism.
7. I have no long-term goals. I just don't. I really don't know what I want from life.
8. I have practically zero self-discipline. I will go to great lengths for other people but struggle with the simplest issues of willpower where I am the only beneficiary. I've been told repeatedly by a variety of people that I need more self-esteem. OK, how do I get it?
I'm sorry this is so long and rambly. I guess my question is - what do I do next? How can I be happier? How can I move forward? How can I figure out what I really want? How can I learn to be ok with intimacy?
Already in therapy, already on drugs.
posted by
Human Relations
(18 answers total)
34 users marked this as a favorite
I was also raised in a very religious atmosphere, and was also always in fear of going to hell. So we have that in common. I have also made many friends like the women you describe, and I've been divorced twice. (I'm a decade or two older than you.) I've been in therapy on and off several times in my adult life, and am in therapy now.
One thing that has really helped me is meditation and studying Buddhism. Because of my background I prefer not to adopt it as a religion (because I tend to reject all religion, and is Buddhism a religion? that's been debated), but the philosophy of Buddhism, combined with meditation, either Buddhist or non-Buddhist, has really helped me. Guided meditation focused on the breath helps. Picturing all of us as one giant life force, all connected, helps. Accepting my upbringing and my parents for who they are helps, although I am still struggling with both of those things.
The other thing that has helped me is a really blunt therapist. For about a year I went to a more new-age, Buddhist therapist, and I still go to the meditation group she leads, but I stopped therapy for a while and then started going to a male who tells it like it is. Some of what he says is jarring, but it's what I need to hear. My mom is quite passive-aggressive, so I think that's why I love someone just being blunt and telling me not what I want to hear or being manipulative but just being straight with how it is.
Those things may or may not help you, but that's what helped me. It's good that you're exploring this, and I hope you find your way. For a while I had severe anxiety attacks when dealing with the issues that I've buried over the years, but it's getting better, and life looks much more joyous to me. I hope it will for you, too.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
2 favorites
I'm glad that you're in therapy and that you're on medication. You should be proud of yourself for taking those steps to take care of yourself!
Are you exercising at all? I know it's a pain and it feels like one more damn thing you have to do, but try and find something that forces you to stop thinking for a little while because you're focusing on what your body is doing instead. If it's something that you're able to get gradually better at, it'll become a source of self-confidence and self-esteem.
Running is a good one for a lot of people, but I've had immense success with yoga. I actually mostly just download yoga podcasts these days, but you might want to start out with a class for beginners; the local YMCA will usually run them, and it's not very expensive. Yoga was good for me because, at least in most of the beginner classes, there is a huge emphasis placed on self-acceptance, not pushing yourself or judging yourself, and being aware of your body and yourself.
You might also get a lot out of group therapy or a moderated support group, because it sounds like you haven't had much experience at all with nurturing and supportive friends with whom you can be open and honest--and be safe.
Very much of what you say, I strongly strongly empathize with. Your list--especially #4--is full of things I do and have done myself. It will take time, and extreme bravery on your part in many cases, to start undoing some of these habits. You should throw yourself a little internal party every time you do something brave like asking for help with a problem.
I guess, in response to your real question: "What do I next?" The best answer is, you keep working on this and it'll keep getting better.
Also, quit coddling your mom. She fucked up. Be angry.
posted by
Made of Star Stuff
on November 27, 2011 [
5 favorites
Also, give yourself CREDIT for what you've done.
You give yourself a hard time for lack of self-discipline, lack of goal-setting, and hiding problems....sweet pea, those were survival strategies! Imagine if you'd had a indpendent goal-driven mindset and asked for help regularly as a child. Yikes.
You did what worked then to survive -- yay, you! Give yourself a pat on the back for that, then you can tell yourself (again and again, gently) that it's time to let some of that go.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
5 favorites
When you are brought up in a severely dysfunctional family it's common to have problems with intimacy and relationships in adulthood. It seems that we cannot behave "normally" in relationships.
Since life is short and I've grown tired of behaving in ways that limit the love and joy in my life I have tried to be more openhearted. Brene Brown talks about being openhearted. Her blog.
I am married, most of the time happily, but I would and could be even happier if I practiced honesty and openheartedness more. I have a difficult time being vulnerable. I can be grouchy and moody instead of loving and cheerful. It's a defense mechanism.
Your mom has apologized, albeit making it all about her, but at least she admits her faults. Some abusive parents go to their graves believing they never did anything wrong, or will never apologize. Some families never speak of it and the hole in the heart is never repaired. Your mom obviously had issues and it's good that you have some understanding and empathy. It's good you can talk about it. Realize how lucky you are that you can talk about it with her!
You didn't have a good childhood. It's over and there is nothing you can do about it but mourn a bit. We have to live the life we have now, not the life we think we should have been given. Understand that you are not alone. You are not a victim and you get to live the life you want now. Nobody can do it for you and you can't get caught up in a blame game and I'm flawed because of my childhood and because I am flawed I cannot do xyz like the rest of the people. That's all bullshit and it took me so long to figure out. You would not believe the things I thought I couldn't do because of my past. I am capable of so much and I will not let a childhood that happened twenty years ago keep me down anymore. I'm not saying you should forget and I'm not saying it's going to be easy but you must be strong for yourself. There is not one thing your mom can say or do to magically erase the pain or make you whole. You have to do that. Don't look to your mother to cure you. It's not going to happen.
Though you are still angry with your mom and it was a painful childhood, it's good that you still maintain some contact. The more you empathize and understand the better. If you keep a "I hate you" story in your head it will only make things worse. It will cause more anger, anxiety, and helplessness. It's okay to be angry and mourn but don't get caught up in it because then you are still a victim.
My advice would be to be alone for awhile. Do not sleep with people you do not like. This is only going to worsen your self-esteem.
Exercise vigorously. If you're not an exerciser start off with half-hour walks and increase your time and speed. Take good care of your physical self. You deserve it.
Hang out with positive people who don't criticize you. Be careful on how tough you are on friends though. Sometimes us dysfunctional people have a difficult time maintaining friendships and can let friendships fizzle over perceived slights. I've been too hard on some people. Not to their face but I tend to get offended over a lot of my friends' behavior. I tend to judge harshly. If you are a harsh judge you will never have friends.
Don't allow your childhood (over and done with!) zap the joy out of your adult life. Keep going to therapy if you feel like it is helping. Don't get caught up in a woe is me story every week though. Know that you are worthy.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
13 favorites
Not to the same extent, but having just read Child Called It with my students, your mother reminds me of a lesser version of his mother. If it's still all about her, even when she's "apologising" then it's not really an apology. That's a pretty fucked up way to grow up and the fact that you're alive and employed and working through your issues is pretty awesome.
I actually really relate to you in a lot of these things - dealing with things internally and almost secretively because you don't want other people to know what's going on and you don't want them to think you can't take care of it on your own...yeah, I'm there with you. I'm still trying to figure out how to get over that one, honestly. It makes marriage a lot harder and I admire you for trying to work it out first.
Oh, and please break up with the guy you're seeing. That's hurting you and potentially him and it's just not worth it. Consider staying single for a while; talk to your therapist about how to form relationships with men that are healthier. If you're not getting what you need from this therapist, find another one.
Memail me if you want - I could have written large parts of your post.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
2 favorites
Forgot the links:
Brene Brown TED talk
Brene Brown blog
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
2 favorites
I identify with a lot of what you wrote. Some thoughts:
1. Me too. When someone likes me I think "What's the matter with this guy?". It's almost like my body starts producing white blood cells to get rid of him, haha!
I also have had mostly sex-based relationships. I don't think this is necessarily bad; sex is awesome. However, the problem can come, like you pointed out, from getting overly attached to one of these guys and it can fuck you up for a while. I'm currently in that place and it has finally made me swear off "dating" for a while until I trust myself to interact with men with more self-respect. (Again, I don't mean that having casual sex is an act of low self-respect. The problem is when you have deeper feelings going on and you don't listen to them and it ends up hurting you.) It's easy to advise that you stop these casual relationships, but for now they are serving a purpose. When you are ready for something deeper, you will stop seeking them.
2. Mom stuff. *sigh* I wish I knew why mom can't treat me better, I've spent years crying trying to figure out why. It just is. I would definitely speak the truth of your experience to her, let her know how her behaviour has affected you all these years...in my experience, this was the only way my mom softened up a bit on me. But, don't expect any significant change in behaviour. It's easier and more accurate to see it like
was born with some deficiency in this area, not
4. I'm totally learning a lessen around this at work right now. Things that I would automatically hide and think that I should be able figure out on my own, i.e. feel
about...well, from watching colleagues that bring things up like it ain't no thang and the higher-ups being grateful and understanding rather than wrathful is showing me that I don't have to swallow up my feelings when something difficult comes along. Try it, you might be surprised by the results! (Hmm, though if you have an angry manager this is unlikely to work so well. If possible, change your work environment or you are likely just reinforcing this problem).
6. Hmm, it's been a while since I've been able to tolerate people like this so I wonder why you put up with it. My guess is that you're lonely and are settling. Eventually you will get to a place where this is intolerable. Where are you meeting your friends? Try meeting new ones through a similar interest. E.g. For a long time I thought I was never going to have friends because people suck and I'm boring, etc but then I met a few awesome friends through a creative writing class, and another through group therapy. Try things that would increase the chance of meeting sensitive people who are likely to make good friends!
7. Me too...but i'm starting to think it comes from having such a low opinion of myself. As I grow out of that and "love" myself more (God, I was such a self-hater for so long that I can't say I love myself without using quotations yet) I want to show that, er, love by coming up with and following through with goals for myself that I know are important to me. You'll get there.
8. Kinda relates to #7.
The rest: I think you will see an improvement as an outgrowth of meds and therapy. It won't happen fast: I've been in therapy 6 years and am still struggling, yet I've gotten to places I never imagined. These behaviours took years to take root in you, it will take years to tear them out, fibre by fibre. Any miniscule change is a victory. Don't beat yourself up, and all that good stuff.
Sorry this is so long but I wanted to share. MeMail me if any of this rung true and you would like to hear more.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
6 favorites
"I'm stupid about a lot of basic things." No, you're not. You're insulting yourself for being a flawed human being -- I'm a flawed human being, too, so when you insult yourself, you insult me. I take offense. How dare you say that about us?
Apparently your parents neglected to teach you that it's not OK to call people "stupid," not even yourself. Especially yourself. One thing that would be helpful for you would be to cultivate the belief that you are NOT stupid, and that it is NOT OK to call yourself stupid, ever, for any reason. You can, and should, admit imperfections, and mistakes, and difficulties, and blind spots, and bad habits, but that does not add up to "stupid." It adds up to "human." And being human -- it's hard, and heartbreaking, and preposterous, and every single minute it's a symphony of miracles.
A good beginners' yoga class is one effective way to train yourself to internalize these things. Believe me, you're not the first person to try to deal with with this crap -- you're about maybe the 100 billionth. Good luck -- we all need it.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
3 favorites
I'm stupid about a lot of basic things.
Hey Listen. I know you're busy but I just wanted to tell you that you're not an idiot OK?
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
4 favorites
I think it might help if you put some emotional distance between you and your Mom. As in, "Yeah, she's my Mom, but she no longer has some magic power over me that can make me feel like crap." I did that with my Mom a few years ago, and we get along much better now.
posted by
on November 27, 2011
Fairchild beat me to it.
I am seconding the suggestion of Brene Brown. I watched her TED talk one night and almost burst into tears because it's so true and so relevant to many of my own issues.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
1 favorite
I posted this ask after a sleepless night. I'm not sure why I'm in such a crisis about this stuff at the moment - I thought I had taken care of it years ago - but it's cropped up again.
Anyway, it meant a lot to see all of your responses and memails and I'm so grateful to all of you. That's like the understatement of the century but I've tried typing that sentence several times already so please just know I REALLY REALLY MEAN IT.
Also, Brene Brown rocks. I saw her TED talk a few months ago when I was sort of at the beginning of this - whatever this is - and I had forgotten about it but am excited to see it again.
And the bear is amazing :)
I'm still open to any further thoughts and still sorting through the advice in this thread and taking it all in.
Thanks again.
posted by
on November 27, 2011 [
1 favorite
Just curious why you comfort her when she gets into a pity party?
Don't go there when she starts up. Change the subject, and if she continues to cycle around, perhaps you could say something along the lines of 'We both had to live the past, but I refuse to live IN it. I don't want to talk about it anymore, thank you.'
Then don't. Hang up if you must. Make that a requirement for your contact, that the conversation be in the here and now, and be pleasant and uplifting for both of you.
posted by
on November 27, 2011
Reading your post really startled me. I have so many similar issues, and I imagine that there are millions of others like us. A few things stuck out for me.
First, your Mom is either a narcissist or has narcissistic tendencies. Start reading self-help books intended for children of narcissists. Using that as a keyword will help you mine another vein of knowledge about your situation. In a nutshell: Your mother is not mentally healthy. She has a personality disorder (or those tendencies) that make it difficult for her to function in relationships. This is not your fault, but it's good to know about.
Now, onto your problems (which I am so so very familiar with - I pasted this list into my diary because you did such a great job of listing them so clearly!):
1. Relationships:
I haven't solved this one either. You may need someone who gives you a lot of space. A few things have helped me most so far:
A. Having a lot of casual sexual relationships with people that I could take or leave. Those rip-your-heart-out emotional desperation relationships were just me repeating the relationship with my mother and trying to get her to love me. Realizing that I could take or leave men and nothing bad would happen to me has been very healing. I guess this doesn't work for everyone (see lots of advice above), but it has been very, very good for me. So I think your instinct in seeing someone you don't get too attached to is good. You are experiencing what it's like to be close with someone without being engulfed. That's been good for me. I haven't explored it much, but the poly and other sex-based communities might be good for you too. You'll see that it's just sex and some intimacy, not this Huge Thing that has to be the center of your life that brings up all of your issues with your mom.
Also, being simply, purely, rawly desired by many men will make you feel better (or it did with me). I am beautiful and desired by many. I have a lot of sex. It's nice, and it keeps me from getting stuck on the traditional why-aren't-you-married, a-man-validates-your-existence treadmill. I don't have the emotional intimacy that I want yet, but I feel safe, and the safety makes me feel okay to tell people when I have concerns, and get better at sharing my life over time.
If you are going to try this, sleep with generally nice people, whom you like (but about whom you don't have huge illusions about the future), who treat you well, and whom you don't build your life around. This has helped me see men as real people, and have more empathy for them, and not take them so seriously.
I'm still figuring this out myself, but it's working for me so far.
B. I realized that a large part of my attraction to the men I was desperate for was for personal validation as a creative, successful, high achiever. If this is an issue for you, seek the achievement itself. Not super high-achieving and high status men. They will come to you if you are a high achiever too. On your terms, not theirs.
C. Feminism. I now see what I'm dealing with as not only an issue of psychology but of sociology. Socially, female worth is structured around other people's validation. Regardless of the quality of their parenting, women suffer generally as part of a society that does not value us as people, but as consumption items for men. The perspective that this is a historical and cultural artifact makes it seem less personal and less about me and my childhood.
2. About your mom:
I'm really not sure that your mom will, in fact, do things to make your relationship better. You can try, but don't blame
if it doesn't work. I think you tend to minimize how self-centered she is. From your description, it sounds like this is not your burden to bear.
A. Read all of the askme questions about boundaries, saying no, dealing with crazy family, etc. They will help. Post if you have a specific question about dealing with her and you will get good advice.
B. As above, read about narcissism and being the child of narcissistic parents. This book, for example, is good: http://www.amazon.com/If-You-Had-Controlling-Parents/dp/0060929324
C. Your mom is not the center of your life. She is peripheral. The most important thing is to figure out how to make your life awesome. Spend less time caring about it, and focus on the rest of your life.
3. Angry, controlling manager
This shit is POISON to you. Seriously. If you are in this situation, get out as fast as possible. Given your personality style, you HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION. These people are bad for everyone. It's not that you are weak or can't handle it or whatever. Avoiding people like this is like adding years to your life and solving a huge mess of issues in therapy at the same time. An undeniable win.
4. Not knowing basic things
This is tough because you often don't know what you don't know. I have been there and I understand.
These are life skills you have to learn and practice. There are books on specific life skills - work dynamics, how to send emails, etc. You can learn from friends, from movie characters, from experience. As you realize you have a specific problem, learn about how to fix it and practice.
Everyone has to learn these skills, regardless of their childhood. No one is born knowing them.
You already know that you need to speak up more. Just practice this and overcompensate on the other side (sharing more difficulties than perhaps you should) until you find your balance. For this you also need to be in a supportive environment. Make sure that the people in your life are kind and caring and love you. If people don't love you, they can fuck themselves. You don't need it. Then, you can practice these skills safely and learn quickly how to use them.
5. Avoiding criticism, confrontation and anger.
This is actually a good trait.
While you work on being more assertive, you can view this as a strength. You are not pushy, demanding, or aggressive. This makes you more fun to be around. You can celebrate this awesomeness while learning a few more assertiveness skills to make your point clear when you need to.
6. Friendships with critical women.
Read the askme questions about friend-dumping and experiment with it. Here's a goal: Dump at least one person before the end of the year. Clean house. You don't need people like this in your life. Really, you don't.
If your therapist is like this, dump her too. If she's helpful (and this is a pretty good test of it), ask for her help with this. It seems like a good intermediate goal for you, very low risk and high reward.
7. Long-term goals
I have no long-term goals. I just don't. I really don't know what I want from life.
This is the most crucial thing. You need to really work on this, separate from getting over your childhood. This is incredibly, incredibly important. It will give you stability in hard times and keep you from getting sucked into other people's issues, which is
primary issue. (I know, I have it too.)
Post an askme question about what to do with your life. Read about career planning. Experiment. There's too much to say here (because this is a huge issue for lots of people, regardless of childhood background), but really work on this one. It will have effects way beyond your career path.
8. Self-discipline
I have this too. A few ideas:
A. Look into ADD as a possibility -- the meds are wonderful for helping you to focus.
B. Involve other people in your plans. Get a workout partner. Do projects with other people. Make yourself accountable. Use this trait to get what you want out of life.
I've written a book here, but a few last insights:
- Lots of people have these problems. There is nothing wrong with you. Just keep learning the concrete skills you need to make your life better.
- Get out of your head and just effing do stuff. Just doing stuff will take you out of your narrative and help you grow.
- You can be how you are. Seriously, you can structure your life around what you need, whatever that is. The world is full of freaks and weirdos and if you need something that your mother doesn't approve of or sounds crazy to everyone you know, you can go after it if it makes you happy during your brief time here on earth. See Kate Bornstein and other activists and artists. For example (http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Cruel-World-Alternatives-Suicide/dp/1583227202)
- Travel. Seeing more of the world can help you put things in perspective and ignite your passion.
I hope this helps, and I look forward to reading other people's answers and to asking more questions of my own to help with this issue.
posted by
on November 28, 2011 [
7 favorites
Wow, that is amazing.
A couple of things that I didn't really think about until I started reading and re-reading the responses, that probably belonged in my original post.
- I have tried a lot of different things to set life goals for myself and figure out what I want. I've set a lot of goals thinking "well, this is a good thing to want, so I should go for it." But I forget, or even do a 180 on it in a couple of weeks. As for digging deep for my innate drive/goal/purpose - it's like there's a wall there. I know that it's important to get through it, believe me. I hate just floating through life while my peers are passionately engaged by their careers and families. Any thoughts on getting through the wall? I've thought about just following my most lizard-brained reactions (i.e., if I'm horribly jealous of people who go to art school ... maybe I should go to art school. But this points me down some very risky paths...)
- I can see what you all mean about spending time with positive people. The thing is that a lot of time the positivity doesn't feel real. Criticism hurts like hell and I hate it and avoid it - but it seems more honest and authentic than most praise. When praise does seem thoughtful and based on actual attention it's almost scary. I feel most safe with people who are not reactive and who don't easily praise OR criticize but who seem authentic and present.
3491, what you said about getting away from my manager was amazing. It feels like a get out of jail free card.
posted by
on November 28, 2011
Oh, right. I'm not actually angry with my mother. I mean, I think there's some anger buried in there somewhere, but I don't really feel it. I feel uncomfortable and distant and closed off.
My mom isn't a *bad* person. I know she loves me and did her best. But it still just hurts like hell that the person who should have loved me most, seen me the most clearly, judged me the most compassionately, and had my back the most ... didn't.
posted by
on November 28, 2011
Wow, you could be me when I was in my 30s.
My mom isn't a *bad* person. I know she loves me and did her best. But it still just hurts like hell that the person who should have loved me most, seen me the most clearly, judged me the most compassionately, and had my back the most ... didn't.
That's so true - it wasn't her fault. I agree with bunderful that your mother had a personality disorder, and a serious one for the development of her children. NPD is one of the most damaging things for kids to be around. It was a disorder and she couldn't help it. But it was STILL shitty that you ended up getting the brunt of that, as her innocent child. I think you should stay in touch with your rage, not rationalize your mother's behavior.
I used to hate my parents so much that I thought I was going to go nuts, and later on (when I realized that they couldn't help how they were), I started imagining their sickness as if it were a physical disability. Somehow it helped to do this. They're both gone now, but when I think of them I still picture them in hospital beds, all bandaged up and getting IV drips, or still bleeding from a wound maybe, leaking blood everywhere, flat on their backs and utterly helpless. People in that kind of shape can't raise children. Also, they can barely manage themselves. When I think of my parents' narcissistic behavior, I realize they were bleeding from wounds that wouldn't heal, and that's why they had no time and no love to spare for me.
Somehow it helps :)
Your post is amazing btw, and congrats on your self-insight and the progress you've made so far.
posted by
on November 28, 2011 [
1 favorite
Not bunderful - that's you - I meant 3491again!
posted by
on November 28, 2011
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NOTICE: - While reasonable efforts have been made to assure the accuracy of the data herein, this is NOT the official version of Senate Journal. It is published to provide information in a timely manner, but has not been proofread against the events of the session for this day. All information obtained from this source should be checked against a proofed copy of the Senate Journal.
Tuesday, November 13, 2001.
Met at three minutes past eleven o'clock A.M.
Petitions were presented and referred, as follows:
By Mr. Brewer, a petition (subject to Joint Rule 12) of Stephen M. Brewer, Michael J. Rodrigues, George N. Peterson, Jr. and other members of the General Court for legislation to further define loaded shotgun and loaded rifle;
By Ms. Murray, a petition (subject to Joint Rule 12) of Therese Murray and Robert E. Travaglini for legislation to increase access to affordable health insurance coverage;
By the same Senator (by request), a petition (subject to Joint Rule 12) of John X. Kauffman for legislation to require pilots for certain vessels; and
By Mr. Nuciforo, a petition (subject to Joint Rule 12) of Andrea F. Nuciforo,
Jr. and Peter J. Larkin for legislation to provide for liens for molders;
Severally, under Senate Rule 20, to the committees on Rules of the two branches, acting concurrently.
Report of a Committee.
By Ms. Wilkerson, for the committee on State Administration, on petition,
a Bill authorizing the Department of Highways to acquire lands in the city of
Quincy and the town of Milton for the purpose of flood control and prevention
(Senate, No. 2145);
Read and, under Senate Rule 27, referred to the committee on Ways and Means.
Petitions were referred, in concurrence, as follows:
Petition (accompanied by bill, House, No. 4720) of Douglas W. Petersen, Edward J. Clancy, Jr., and Thomas M. McGee (by vote of the town) relative to amending the charter of the town of Swampscott; and
Petition (accompanied by bill, House, No. 4733) of Bradley H. Jones, Jr.,
and Bruce E. Tarr (by vote of the town) relative to authorizing the town of
North Reading to convey a certain parcel of land located in said town;
Severally to the committee on Local Affairs.
Relative to gift certificates (House, No. 216,— on House, No. 209, in part);
Relative to the management of state chartered banks (House, No. 1723, amended,— on petition);
Relative to the promotion of charitable giving in the Commonwealth (House, No. 2984,— on petition); and
Returning tax title properties to productive use (House, No. 4726,— on House,
Nos. 2085 and 2272);
Were severally read and, under Senate Rule 26, referred to the committee on Steering and Policy.
Relative to the zoning by-laws of the town of Needham (House, No. 4290,— on petition) [Local approval received]; and
Authorizing the town of Braintree to establish a department of public works
(House, No. 4326,— on House, No. 4619, in part) [Local approval received on
House, No. 4326];
Were severally read and, under Senate Rule 26, placed in the Orders of the Day for the next session.
Of the committee on Natural Resources and Agriculture, ought NOT to pass, on the message from His Excellency the Governor recommending legislation relative to the reorganization of certain functions within the Executive Office of Environmental Affairs (accompanied by bill, House, No. 3029) (Representative Hill of Ipswich dissenting); and
Of the committee on Taxation, ought NOT to pass, on the message from Her Honor
the Lieutenant-Governor, Acting Governor, recommending legislation relative
to promoting fiscal responsibility in the Commonwealth (accompanied by bill,
House, No. 4106);
Were severally referred, under Senate Rule 36, to the committee on Steering and Policy.
The following resolutions (having been filed with the Clerk) were severally considered forthwith and adopted, as follows:—
Resolutions (filed by Ms. Creem) "commemorating the celebration of Hanukkah";
Resolutions (filed by Ms. Melconian) "honoring Rosemary Sandlin";
Resolutions (filed by Mr. Pacheco) "honoring Robert William Shine upon his elevation to the rank of Eagle Scout"; and
Resolutions (filed by Mrs. Sprague) "in recognition of the Honorable Francis Thomas Crimmins, Jr."
The Clerk read the following communication:
November 9, 2001.
Patrick F. Scanlan, Clerk
Massachusetts Senate
State House, Room 335
Boston, Massachusetts 02133
Dear Mr. Clerk:
On November 1, 2001, I was away from the State House on a person matter and I was therefore unable to be present for the roll call votes taken on the following items:
1. House Bill 4531, An Act Relative to Unemployment Insurance Rates.
2. House Bill 4300, An Act Authorizing the Town of Mashpee to Lease or Grant an Easement in Certain Land.
Had I been present, I would have voted in the affirmative on both these matters.
I would respectfully request your assistance with the printing of this communication in the Senate journal. Thank you in advance for your help on this matter.
State Senator.
On motion of Mr. Rosenberg, the above statement was ordered printed in the Journal of the Senate.
The Senate Bill relative to the practice of public accountancy (Senate, No. 402),— came from the House passed to be engrossed, in concurrence, with an amendment, striking out all after the enacting clause and inserting in place thereof the text of House document numbered 4718.
The rules were suspended, on motion of Mr. Moore, and the House amendment was considered forthwith.
The same Senator moved that the Senate concur in the House amendment with a further amendment, striking out all after the enacting clause and inserting in place thereof the text of Senate document numbered 2174.
The further amendment was adopted.
The House amendment was then adopted, as amended.
Sent to the House for concurrence in the further amendment.
Matters Taken Out of the Orders of the Day.
There being no objection, the following matters were taken out of the Orders of the Day and considered, as follows:
The House Bill authorizing the town of Reading to establish an affordable housing trust fund (House, No. 4235),— was read a third time and passed to be engrossed, in concurrence.
The House Bill designating the conference room in the Everett Allied Rink as the Michael V. Fonzi Memorial Room (House, No. 4269),— was read a second time, ordered to a third reading, read a third time and passed to be engrossed, in concurrence, its title having been changed by the committee on Bills in the Third Reading to read as follows: "An Act designating the conference room in the Allied Veterans Memorial Rink in Everett as the Michael V. Fonzi Memorial Room."
Order Adopted.
On motion of Ms. Melconian,—
Ordered, That when the Senate adjourns today, it adjourn to meet again tomorrow at eleven o'clock A.M., and that the Clerk be directed to dispense with the printing of a calendar.
On motion of Mr. Knapik, at eight minutes past eleven o'clock A.M., the Senate adjourned to meet on the following day at eleven o'clock A.M.


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Synopsis: Former second-string movie star and current demi-celebrity for hire Troy McClure (voice of Phil Hartman) is making his way home one night when he's pulled over for driving without his glasses. McClure needs to retake his vision test before his license will be restored, but since he's too vain to wear his specs in public, the results are not especially good. However, Selma Bouvier (voice of Julie Kavner) is charmed by McClure and agrees to give him a passing grade in exchange for a date. After dinner, ... Full Synopsis


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One does not necessarily have to create PuG raids. In fact I personally hate that idea, and think that it's just a nightmare. What I am suggesting isn't necessarily forming a PuG raid.
Actually start your own full fledged raid. Ask around on your server forums, speak with friendly guilds... break out of the guild box or LFD nightmare and I guarantee you'll find 9 other individuals complaining about not having a regular raid on your server within a week tops.
The real question is... why are players just standing around complaining instead of actually taking ownership of their own game play. Today's Breakfast Topic just fuels the laziness I'm observing from others. There are options available for players, you just might not be able to sit back and get carried through the content. If you're not raiding right now it is your own choice.


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