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The National Cancer Institute Act, 1937-2007: Celebrating 70 Years of Excellence in Cancer Research
Celebrating 70 Years of Excellence in Cancer Research
August 5, 2007 marks the 70th anniversary of the National Cancer Institute Act. This landmark legislation led to the creation of what has become the world's pre-eminent cancer research organization. The act authorized the National Cancer Institute (NCI) to engage in certain fundamental activities: conducting and fostering cancer research; reviewing and approving grant-in-aid applications to support promising research projects on the causes, prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of cancer; collecting, analyzing, and disseminating the results of cancer research conducted in the United States and elsewhere; and training and instruction in the diagnosis and treatment of cancer.
NCI's record of achievement in conducting, fostering, and funding cancer research is evident in the major advances that have been generated through its intramural and extramural research programs. These advances have helped define our understanding of human physiology, genetics, and cell biology; how normal cellular and physiologic activities can be subverted during the malignant process; and our ever improving ability to use this knowledge to prevent, diagnose, and treat cancer. It is particularly notable that NCI has supported the research efforts of at least 20 Nobel Prize winners. For approximately half of these individuals, NCI supported the awarded research. For many of the remaining Nobel laureates, NCI supported important ongoing research. Some of the advances arising from these efforts include the discovery of the segmental nature of eukaryotic genes, RNA splicing, oncogenes, and reverse transcriptase, as well as clinical applications such as magnetic resonance imaging, allogeneic bone marrow transplantation, and hormonal treatments for cancer.
Our struggle to fully understand and ultimately defeat malignant disease requires the constant and timely sharing of information among cancer researchers, health professionals, patients and their families, and the general public, as well as the continuous training of new cadres of investigators. Through the years, NCI has been a leader in exploiting new communications technologies to share cancer information. For example, the Institute's Physician Data Query (PDQ®) database became the first publicly available, disease-specific, electronic information resource when it went online in 1982. NCI is now pioneering another frontier in information sharing through its cancer Biomedical Informatics Grid (caBIG™) project. Furthermore, the training and career development programs supported by NCI have played -- and will continue to play -- a vital role in U.S. and international progress against cancer. These programs allow students and professionals from the United States and other countries to develop the skills necessary to conduct basic, clinical, and cancer control research, as well as research in the behavioral and population sciences.
Much has been accomplished since the National Cancer Institute Act was passed, but much remains to be done. Through the intervening decades, those associated with NCI have had one unwavering goal: To reduce the worldwide burden of cancer through innovative research and the development of ever better interventions to prevent and treat cancer.
To learn more about the Institute's accomplishments, the research it currently supports, and its plans and priorities for the future, I invite you explore the NCI Web site in depth. The information available via the links below provides an excellent starting point.
Director, National Cancer Institute
NCI-Related Legislation
NCI and the National Cancer Program
- NCI Mission Statement
- NCI Strategic Plan for Leading the Nation to Eliminate the Suffering and Death Due to Cancer
- The Nation's Investment in Cancer Research for Fiscal Year 2013
- Accelerating Successes Against Cancer - Recommendations from the NCI-Designated Cancer Center Directors
- NCI Cancer Bulletin Historical Feature: "If Memory Serves..."


text: FAIRBANKS- It should come as no surprise that Alaskans seeking health insurance under the Affordable Care Act may pay higher premiums than other people in the country. The U.S. Health and Human Services Department says, the average individual premium for a benchmark policy known as the "second–lowest–cost silver" plan will cost $474 per month. Of the 48 states analyzed, only Wyoming is higher in that category, at $516. Under the ACA, commonly known as "Obamacare" nearly everyone is required to have health insurance or face a tax penalty. Most with an insurance plan meet the federal requirements, however a spokesperson for the United Way of Anchorage says about 127,000 people in Alaska are uninsured. She says, starting October 1st, navigators can help explain many insurance options that could help save money. Some consumers may qualify for medicaid, medicare, or tax credits which will lower the cost of monthly premiums.

subset: commoncrawl


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This recent and well-conducted meta-review concludes that the impact on mortality and suicide of mental disorders is substantial, and probably poorly appreciated as a public health problem. Raphael Underwood's blog summarises the data for all-cause and suicide mortality in mental disorders.[read the full story...]
Latest evidence from NICE on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a condition that has recently been given a significant amount of TV airplay and media coverage, perhaps most notably in the Channel 4 documentary Jon Richardson: A little bit OCD, which received mostly good reviews from mental health groups. Despite this reasonable public profile, our knowledge about the best way [read the full story...]
Patients with anxiety disorders are more likely to have suicidal thoughts and actions, says recent review
Suicidal thoughts and actions are typically discussed in relation to depression, but a number of studies have suggested suicide may also be linked to anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders often co-occur with depression, and this may be masking a risk of suicide specifically related to anxiety. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day so it seemed relevant [read the full story...]
Factors stopping the nation from getting back on its feet: a survey of the non-fatal burden of disease due to mental disorder
In times of economic adversity, the health and well-being of a nation needs consideration in order to maximise the workforce and productivity. The number of people and the amount of time spent in an adverse health-state is a prominent driver of population ill health. Most mental illnesses begin early and persist over a lifetime. Approximately [read the full story...]
New evidence update from NICE on common mental disorders
The NICE guideline on common mental disorders (PDF) was published back in May 2011, which means that it only included evidence published up until the end of 2010. This is a fast moving field, so NICE have now put out an evidence update, which focuses on new evidence published from Sept 2010 to Oct 2012. This [read the full story...]
NICE clinical case scenarios aim to help GPs improve diagnosis and management of common mental health disorders
NICE has developed a series of case studies for GPs to help apply the recommendations from the Common mental health disorders guideline to practice. The case studies which are informed by clinical experience, include contributions from GPs, clinical psychologists and psychiatrists to help GPs when considering the range of treatments and approaches that are recommended [read the full story...]
Self-help interventions are effective treatments for social phobia and panic disorder, says new meta-analysis
The demand for psychological therapies far outstrips the supply and in this ongoing period of austerity we surely need to produce some cost-effective alternatives. One method that patients can attempt pretty much on their own is self-help provided through books, CDs, DVDs and websites. This new systematic review claims to be the first to bring [read the full story...]
Adding CBT to drug therapy helps children with OCD who don't respond to antidepressants alone
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a condition that is usually associated with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour. It's one of the most common mental health problems in young people, with an estimated 5% of children and teenagers suffering from the chronic condition. Studies have shown that SSRI antidepressants and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) are both [read the full story...]
Adding cognitive behaviour therapy to drug treatment helps children with obsessive compulsive disorder
Children with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are often prescribed antidepressant drugs (serotonin reuptake inhibitors – SRI), but many only partially respond to this treatment. This randomised controlled trial conducted by researchers from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, examined the effects of augmenting the antidepressant medication with cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). The trial was quite [read the full story...]
Augmenting drug therapy with CBT helps young people with OCD: results from new randomised controlled trial
Research shows that using antidepressants (serotonin reuptake inhibitors, SRIs) to treat obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) in young people is sometimes problematic. Patients often do not respond to the drugs and so other therapies are necessary to augment the treatment. One such therapy is CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). This 12-week randomised controlled trial took 124 paediatric [read the full story...]


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Now playing in theaters everywhere!
(2012, Sam Mendes)
(via sosreelthoughts)
Now playing in theaters everywhere!
(2012, Sam Mendes)
(via sosreelthoughts)
French actress Bérénice Marlohe in a new Bond Girls video blog featurette for Sam Mendes' Skyfall. Watch here: http://onfs.net/Pt6RfK
Daniel Craig returns as Agent 007 in Skyfall, the latest Bond movie, directed by Sam Mendes. From the full trailer!
Daniel Craig returns as 007 again in Sam Mendes' Skyfall, the new James Bond movie. New shot from the first teaser trailer!
Awesome shot from the first official teaser trailer for Sam Mendes' Skyfall, the new James Bond movie starring Daniel Craig as 007 again. Watch here: http://onfs.net/Jr1UVB
Sorry for the delay… I was in Istanbul!! Visiting the set of the new James Bond film, Skyfall, watching Daniel Craig in a shootout and motorcycle chase. Check out my write-up here: http://onfs.net/IvINqw. Finally getting back into posting for a bit. Lots of awesome trailers! (Photo is Ola Rapace, henchman, in Istanbul.)


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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - View original article
Here is a list of assets owned by The Walt Disney Company. The following are wholly owned and operated by Disney, unless otherwise indicated.[1]
Walt Disney Parks and Resorts is a DBA of Destination Disney, Inc. owns and operates two resorts in the United States and another three internationally through various joint ventures and licensing agreements.
Walt Disney World Company,[2] Lake Buena Vista, Florida, United States
Opened on 12 April 1992 as the Euro Disney Resort. Located in Marne-la-Vallée, France (Disney 51%, public shareholders 49%) Euro Disney Investments, Inc.
Euro Disneyland Participations S.A.S. - 100% Disney owned and owns 17% of
Disney 48%, Hong Kong Government 52%
Disney Vacation Development, Inc.
Disney Vacation Club Management Corp.
ABC, Inc. DBA Disney–ABC Television Group[10]
joint venture with Hearst Corporation; 50% equity holding
(Disney 80%) [12]
Disney International
Steamboat Ventures - ownership positions not revealed
The following companies are subsidiaries of Disney that either are no longer active or have been absorbed into another part of the company.


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Eye Health Center
Juvenile Macular Degeneration: Stargardt's and Best Disease
Juvenile macular degeneration is the term for several inherited eye diseases -- including Stargardt's disease, Best disease, and juvenile retinoschisis -- that affect children and young adults. These rare diseases cause central vision loss that may begin in childhood or young adulthood.
Unfortunately, there is no treatment available for these diseases, which are caused by gene mutations passed down in families. Visual aids, adaptive training, and other types of assistance can help young people with vision loss remain active. Researchers continue to look for ways to prevent and treat juvenile macular degeneration (JMD).
Recommended Related to Eye Health
Zinc is an essential trace mineral that's important for the immune system and the brain, as well as other parts of the body. In infants, zinc deficiency can delay normal development. At any age, serious zinc deficiency can lead to risk of infections. Eye-related benefits. Zinc is believed to be important for vision because high levels of the mineral are found in the macula, part of the retina. Zinc enables vitamin A to create a pigment called melanin, which protects the eye. Some studies show...
Read the Zinc for Vision article > >
Genetic counseling can help families understand these eye disorders and sort out the risks of passing them on to their children. Counseling also helps families understand how their loved one's vision is affected.
These diseases damage the macula, which is the tissue in the center of the retina at the back of the eye. The macula provides our sharp, central vision so we can do things like read and drive. It also allows us to see color and helps us recognize faces. (Age-related macular degeneration is a leading cause of vision loss in older adults.)
Below is an overview of some of these hereditary eye diseases that lead to juvenile macular degeneration.
Stargardt Disease
Stargardt disease is the most common form of juvenile macular degeneration. It's named after German ophthalmologist Karl Stargardt, who discovered it in 1901. Stargardt disease affects about one in 10,000 children in the U.S. Although the disease starts before age 20, a person may not notice vision loss until age 30 to 40.
Signs of Stargardt disease. The condition can be diagnosed by yellow-white spots that appear in and around the macula. If the spots appear throughout the back of the eye, then it is called fundus flavimaulatus. These deposits are an abnormal buildup of a fatty substance produced during normal cell activity.
Stargardt disease symptoms. Symptoms include difficulty reading and gray or black spots in the central vision. Loss of vision occurs gradually at first and affects both eyes. Once vision reaches 20/40, the disease progresses more rapidly, eventually reaching 20/200, which is legal blindness. Some people lose vision to 10/200 very quickly over a few months. Most people will have vision loss ranging from 20/100 to 20/400 by age 30 to 40.
Stargardt disease does not cause a loss of peripheral, or side, vision. Most people don't lose night vision, but may have trouble adjusting between dark and light environments. Color vision is also affected in later stages of the disease.
Genetics ofStargardt disease. Researchers have identified a specific gene that they believe causes Stargardt disease. If both parents carry one mutated gene and one normal gene, their children have a 25% chance of developing the disease. People who inherit only one mutated gene don't develop the disease. However, they can pass on the disease without knowing it.
WebMD Medical Reference


text: Check out the training going on at Alpine last week. Nate Holland, 4 times X Games champion, was there. A world class snowboarder vs. a world class skier…it's a good thing they are friends and have a mutual respect for friendly, head-to-head competition. Errol Kerr is an Alpine Meadows sponsored athlete, representing Jamaica at the 2010 Olympic Games.


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InterArts & CBPA Newsfeed
Monthly Archives: August 2011
Performance by Faculty Member Jenny Magnus at the MCA Chicago!
In completion of a year-long residency at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago, Faculty Member Jenny Magnus will be performing on September 15-17 at the MCA Stage!
MCA Stage Presents: Curious Theatre Branch
Still in Play
a performance of getting ready
by Jenny Magnus
Directed by Stefan Brun
Sept 15 – 17, 2011 at 7:30pm
Post-show Crooked Mouth CD Release concert, Friday Sept. 16 at 9:30pm
Museum of Contemporary Art, 220 East Chicago Ave.
$15 Discount Tickets through September 6th
For more information visit:
See Interarts Faculty Work at The Other Dance Festival!
The Other Dance Festival, held from September 6 through the 30th features 4 weeks of performances, classes, workshops, and get-togethers! During the festival Interarts Faculty members will be showing work and performing.
On Thursday 9/8 & Friday 9/9 at 7:30PM at the Hamlin Park Field Hous (3035 N. Hoyne), 'Ashen Wing', Choreopgraphed by Associate Professor Nana Shineflug features a text by Wallace Stevens that will be performed by Associate Professor Jeff Abell. Please join us in supporting this fantastic work.
For more information about the numerous performances and events during the festival, visit: www.chicagomovingcompany.org
Congratulations to James Kinser (MA'05)
Please join us in congratulating James Kinser, an alumni of the MA in Interdisciplinary Arts Program, who for the past seven years has served as assistant director of online communications at Columbia College Chicago, in his recent appointment for a fantastic opportunity to work for the MacArthur Foundation as online communications specialist/webmaster.
Fall Programs announced!
Find out more about exhibitions, community programs and workshops at the Center for Book and Paper Arts this Fall.
We are pleased to offer a definitive look at new trends in experimental woodtype with our exhibition Wood Type, Evolved: Experimental Letterpress & Relief Printing in the 21st Century, opening September 8 as part of Columbia College Chicago's Art Walk, and also a Chicago Artists' Month gallery and studio event on October 6.


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without your permission.
We will send you an email with an invite soon.
RT @journalistSadie: #journorequest have any ladies out there baked EVERY recipe in one of Paul Hollywood's @Hollywoodbaker cook books? For fab feature. Pls RT
We've a little pic in this month's Homes & Antiques Magazine!...
We've a few available ad spots on our blog - have a look at our affordable rates!
If I owned one of these 2 books maybe I wouldn't keep setting the smoke alarm off!
Is there anything better than #realbread?
Just brought this lovely compact & bijou 50s G-Plan to sell in our @pictureantiques pitch! @…
From our archive: A package from Sweden
We're back in the ransom wood in Townley Park
Kevin McCloud's favourite green innovations - in pictures via @guardian
RT @Pinterest: We're introducing more useful pins! Now, pins have more information—like pricing, ingredients, movie ratings & more.
See what's Trending Now for @hisforhome
Follow @hisforhome on Twitter


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=== Sports Transactions from The Sports Network ===
=== Wednesday, November 27, 2013 ===
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Agreed to terms with pitcher Joe Smith on a
three-year contract; designated pitcher Juan Gutierrez for assignment.
San Francisco Giants - Claimed pitcher Jose DePaula off waivers from the San
Diego Padres; signed pitcher Erik Cordier to a one-year contract; designated
catcher Johnny Monell and outfielder Francisco Peguero for assignment.
Texas Rangers - Claimed outfielder Rafael Ortega off waivers from the Colorado
Sacramento Kings - Recalled guard Ray McCallum from Reno (NBADL).
British Columbia Lions (CFL) - Announced the club and offensive co-ordinator
Jacques Chapdelaine have mutually agreed to part ways.
Denver Broncos - Placed defensive tackle Kevin Vickerson on injured reserve;
signed defensive tackle Sione Fua; signed defensive end Brandon Moore to the
practict squad; released wide receiver Chad Bumphis.
Detroit Lions - Signed offensive guard Rodney Austin from the practice squad;
waived defensive end Austen Lane.
Edmonton Eskimos (CFL) - Named Chris Jones head coach.
Green Bay Packers - Placed running back Johnathan Franklin on injured reserve;
signed linebacker Victor Aiyewa from the practice squad.
Miami Dolphins - Signed safety Jordan Kovacs from the practice squad.
New England Patriots - Signed defensive tackle Sealver Siliga to the 53-man
roster from the practice squad; signed tight end D.J. Williams to the 53-man
roster; signed tackle Patrick Ford to the practice squad.
Oakland Raiders - Activated offensive tackle Jared Veldheer from injured
reserve-designated to return; waived quarterback Tyler Wilson.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Placed tight end Tom Crabtree on injured reserve;
signed tight end Kyle Adams.
Tennessee Titans - Signed safety Shann Schillinger; signed offensive lineman
Tyler Horn to the practice squad; released offensive lineman Oscar Johnson
from the practice squad.
Seattle Seahwks - Waived cornerback Perrish Cox; signed cornerback DeShawn
Shead from the practice squad to the active roster.
Anaheim Ducks - Assigned forwards Emerson Etem and Devante Smith-Pelly to
Norfolk (AHL).
Buffalo Sabres - Claimed forward Matt D'Agostini off of waivers from the
Pittsburgh Penguins.
Calgary Flames - Recalled center Max Reinhart from Abbotsford (AHL); placed
forward T.J. Galiardi on injured reserve.
Detroit Red Wings - Signed defenseman Jonathan Ericsson to a six-year contract
Edmonton Oilers - Recalled defenseman Denis Grebeshkov from Oklahoma City
Phoenix Coyotes - Recalled forward Chris Brown and defenseman Connor Murphy
from Portland (AHL).
Tampa Bay Lightning - Recalled forward Dana Tyrell from Syracuse (AHL).
Toronto Maple Leafs - Signed forward Frederik Gauthier to a three-year entry
level contract.
Washington Capitals - Recalled defenseman Tyson Strachan from Hershey (AHL).
Maryland - Announced the resignation of assistant men's basketball coach
Dalonte Hill; promoted Dustin Clark to assistant coach; named Juan Dixon
special assistant to the head coach.
Montana - Agreed to a one-year contract extension with head football coach
Mick Delaney.
Oregon - Signed men's basketball coach Dana Altman to a three-year contract
extension through the 2019-20 season.
UNLV - Agreed to a new three-year contract with head football coach Bobby


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You're leaving Wedding Paper Divas to see the Deal of the Day at our parent site, Tiny Prints.
You won't be able to dismiss this by usual means (escape or click button), but you can close it programatically based on user choices or actions.
"This one really could have worked for us. It was classy and we are having our wedding at a vineyard. However, we decided to go with a more traditional, vintage looking invitation."
"I had the fonts changed, and added the reception venue in the bottom. I also had the paper changed to the shimmery type. and ordered gold envelopes to match. Very classy. I love them. They were supposed to arrive Friday, they weren't available until Tuesday. Got stuck at Customs. Well, Customs is not open on weekends so the delay. I also customized the insert card for our RSVP card, ordered the matching Thank You cards and the stickers for our Favours."
"We loved this card, we asked for a proof and decided this was the one. the paper is lovely and printed beautifully. (though I have to say all the proofs were lovely and the little pack to help you decide on font and colours extremely helpful) We wanted traditional wording and managed to find a way round the unchangeable font by putting my fiance's name first and then mine. This allowed us to use 'the daughter of' (one of the many compromises on this little journey) Not perfect invitation etiquette but close enough for us! The invitations arrived early, (which I did not expect for international shipping to England) not being an overly patient person, I was very pleased! Thank you !"
"Love the design of this card! I ordered the pearl finish and it came out great! I also loved the back of the card, you don't see many, if any, wedding invitations that have something on the back."
"We are thrilled with our wedding invitations using the Enchanted Ending design. Our photo laid out beautifully in this design and the extra thick paper was the perfect touch. The design team was fantastic with my edits. Thank you for making our invitations such a wonderful keepsake for our big day."


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The NBA trade deadline is approaching and teams around the league are starting to decide if they're going to be buyers or if they're going to be sellers when it arrives. Players are also deciding if they're going to tough it out where they are or if they're going to cause a fuss and request a trade.
New York Knicks guard Beno Udrih has chosen the latter, as ESPN New York's Ian Begley reports that a trade has been requested by Udrih to get him out of New York and away from the Knicks.
New York Knicks point guard Beno Udrih has requested a trade, sources told ESPNNewYork.com. League sources say the 31-year-old veteran communicated his wishes to the Knicks in recent days and the team will try to honor the request.
The request for a trade from Udrih shouldn't come as that big of a surprise, as it's common knowledge around the league that he's had issues with head coach Mike Woodson. Udrih also hasn't been all that keen on the minutes he's seeing at the moment either. To their credit though, Begley reports that the Knicks will try to trade Udrih, but it's very likely that they use this as an opportunity to try and pin J.R. Smith to him and kill two birds with one trade.
New York has been trying to dump Smith and he's been the most likely candidate to be traded before the deadline. Either way though, Smith trade or not, it appears Udrih is on his way out in New York.
Tags: Beno Udrih New York Knicks


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Facebook giveaway click here Classes begin the week of September 29th
We are a literacy and math development center designed for your early Einstein.
We love small classes
Our unique literacy program utilizes small class sizes to make it easier for the curriculum to sink in, helping to ensure the kids are prepared for their next step. And each class is individually tailored to the needs of the students to help further their understanding of the curriculum and give them a head start to a brilliant future.
Hands on is good
When it comes to your child's education, a head start can make a big difference. Whether you're the proud parent of a preschooler or a Kindergartner, Early Einsteins can give your child a solid reading foundation through hands-on active curriculum.
Classes just for them
In-depth research was performed in the development of the curriculum for each class with advice and input from current preschool, Kindergarten and first grade teachers. The goal of Early Einsteins is to successfully prepare children for the next academic level while reinforcing the skills taught at their current academic level.


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When hockey's newest Hall of Famers are declared at the 2011 HOCKEY HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE ANNOUNCEMENT, Canada's Sports Leader will be front and centre – for the first-time ever – capturing all the action. Live coverage begins Tuesday, June 28 at 3 p.m. ET live on TSN2 and TSN RADIO 1050, with live streaming available on TSN.ca.
The announcement will also be carried live on the NHL Network for U.S. audiences.
Possible inductees include Joe Nieuwendyk, Eric Lindros, Doug Gilmour, Theoren Fleury, Pavel Bure, Ed Belfour, and the late Pat Burns.
Nieuwendyk, who was passed over last year, may own the most impressive credentials of this year's group. Nieuwendyk won three Stanley Cups, picking up two Conn Smythe Trophies along the way, and finished his career with 564 goals and 1,126 points in 1,257 games.
Lindros battled injuries throughout his career and finished with only 760 games played. But in that time he averaged more than a point per game (865) and won three major trophies: an Art Ross, a Hart, and a Lester B. Pearson.
Only one Hall of Fame-eligible player (Adam Oates) has scored more than Gilmour's 1,414 career points. The former Calgary Flame and Toronto Maple Leaf also won a Stanley Cup and Selke Trophy in his career.
Although Fleury never won a major award in his career, he also averaged over a point per game in his 15 seasons in the NHL. The former Flame, who won a Gold Medal with Canada in the 2002 Olympics, recorded 1,088 points in 1,084 games.
Known in his playing days as the Russian Rocket, Bure too averaged over a point per game throughout his career. Of the 10 players to have scored 50 goals or more in five years, Bure is the only one not inducted into the Hall of Fame. The three time Rocket Richard Trophy winner finished with 779 points in 702 games.
Belfour, the most decorated goalie eligible for induction this year, is third in career regular season wins and 10th in shutouts with 76. The two-time Vezina Award Winner also has a Stanley Cup and a Calder Trophy to show for his 18 years in the league.
Burns, who passed away late last year, won the Jack Adams Award with three different teams. He has 501 career wins and a Stanley Cup victory in his 14 years in the league.
Other names eligible for induction include former Montreal Canadien Guy Carbonneau, American defenceman Phil Housley, Gordie Howe's son Mark, five-time All-Star John LeClair, and six-time Stanley Cup champion Kevin Lowe, among others.
On the AM dial, TSN RADIO 1050 host Bryan Hayes will provide analysis following the announcement.
The 2011 HOCKEY HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE ANNOUNCEMENT will be made by former Toronto Maple Leafs GM Jim Gregory and past Leafs and Vancouver Canucks head coach Pat Quinn, current co-chairs of the Hockey Hall of Fame Selection Committee.
The 2011 HOCKEY HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE ANNOUNCEMENT is part of TSN's comprehensive coverage of the biggest events in hockey, including the 2011 NHL ENTRY DRAFT and the FREE AGENT FRENZY airing Friday, July 1 at 12 noon ET on TSN2.


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$23 $23
You won't hear any objections from us! The Bamboo Object 02 Black D'Orsay Pointed Flats are perfection! A pointed vamp in velvety soft vegan suede pairs with a black vegan leather heel cup and velvety, wraparound ankle strap that fastens with a golden buckle (and hidden elastic), with an alluring d'Orsay cutout in-between. 1/4" rubber heel. Cushioned insole. Non-skid felted rubber sole. Available in whole and half sizes. Fit runs HALF SIZE LARGE. Measurements are for a size 6. All vegan friendly, man made materials. Imported.
How it fit:
"This shoe fits true to size however it is cutting into the back of heel at the ankle. The backing of the shoe has a short curve into the heel that is really uncomfy. I might have a blister by the end of the day :( The toe box is nice and wide tho; totally comfy, and the velvety material is nice. Still, I do recommend to others since it may just be me it cuts into."
How it fit:
"I am in love with these simple chic flats. So happy I took the chance in ordering them in a 1/2 size larger. They fit perfectly! They'll be perfect for the first day of school paired with my adorable striped flowy skirt! 5 stars lulu"s!"
How it fit:
"These are my first d'orsay style flat purchase, and I couldn't be happier. They are simple and just a bit different, and would go with a lot of different outfits. The price kind of helped me to take the chance on these, and for a $20- something pair of shoes, they are great! I ordered a half size smaller like the description suggests and they fit perfect. I love that they have some traction on the bottom, I walked a lot in them and never came close to slipping. Theres not much in the way of padding or support, but they are not uncomfortable- more like walking in a flat sandal. kind of rubbed the back of my left ankle, but thats nothing I haven't dealt with in the name of new shoes."
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Fit Kit Beige and Black Leather Belt Set
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Tricks of the Trade Black Maxi Dress
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New User
Is it depression and am I making it worse?
November 17, 2009
Every night that he comes home and winds up browsing the internet for hours, I feel like I'm going to scream. Am I a nagging worrywort, is my boyfriend mildly depressed, or both? And what's the best way to work on it?
My boyfriend (Charles) and I have lived together for about two and half years, since he moved to this state. We were thick as thieves to begin with, but as our relationship nicely mellowed we became more okay with not spending all of our time together. However, way back in January we had a discussion about how he needs to reach out and find his own community of some sort. He then had some dramatic medication-related mental health issues that pushed that goal to a back burner while we tangled with the craziness, but around middle of summer stuff felt like it was back to normal, and the lack of friends and interests became an issue.
I feel like Charles doesn't have any friends, really. There's one guy (Joe) who he chats with sometimes who shares a similar background (computer stuff, history, online gaming), but that guy has a freelance sort of web business and I get the impression that they could be closer buddies if Joe wasn't so busy.
I think part of the not-having-friends thing is rooted deeper in a lack of interests. Recently, it seems like unless I make something happen (plan dinner, arrange events), he won't do anything except be on the computer. I'm pretty sure he doesn't play WOW or anything anymore, and it's just random browsing and searches that he uses as a path of least resistance to his evenings.
The last couple of things we did with other people didn't seem to go that well. We went to a large dinner last weekend, and although I know he's not as chatty as I am, even when we were in a circle of three people whose conversation showed them to be funny, nerdy, and non-judgemental, Charles' answers to their questions were flat and monosyllabic, almost. A couple of friends we've hung out with several times were over at our house, and as one of them fixed our guitar (which Charles has talked about learning), Charles sat on the couch in the room, browsing the internet. Later, when our friend offered to teach him a chord, Charles said he was tired and wanted to go to bed.
It seems like it's rooted in a mild depression. He had a really bad experience with a psychiatrist and depression meds, so maybe that's why he doesn't want to admit it?
I just feel like he's not trying anymore. I brought it up a couple weeks ago when we were out (the only people tucked in the side room of a bar), and as I kept asking questions about what he wants to do and what he feels, he wound up getting totally upset and standing up and having a kind of aggressive freakout because I wouldn't let it drop. He was apologetic later and said he'd work on things, but hasn't shown too many signs of following up on the conversation. I've sent several e-mails where I've tried to outline things and not be too accusatory, so I'm not in his face as much and so it gives him time to think about it, but he hasn't responded to those.
When we wake up together in the mornings, he's usually sweet and loving, but by the time he gets home in the evening, or when I come home in the evening, he's usually withdrawn. I asked him about the difference between the two times, and he says he really only looks forward to going to bed, and why do I bother him so much? He only wants to do easy things, other stuff is too hard.
So that kind of sounds like depression, right? But I'm sure it can't help if I just nag about it and make him feel bad. But I'm sick and tired of going through ups and downs, especially when he denies that it's an issue.
The other night, I basically gave him three options.
1.) Move out in January and do his own lazy thing (we wouldn't need to be broken up, neccessarily, he just would need his own space to be in because he's driving me nuts).
2.) Agree there's a problem and set accountable behaviors for us to work on (me giving him space, him getting out of the house), and going though the Feel Good Handbook together.
3.) Agreeing there's a problem but that neither of us have the right tools to solve it, and calling in either a professional or someone we both respect to figure out how to solve things.
He hasn't responded yet.
I'm 26, he's 23. I'm relatively happy where I am (decent job, fledgling creative endeavors that seem to be going good places, pleasant enough rented home), he mostly seems lackluster and like he doesn't care about anything...except sometimes, on the days where he does care about things. Unfortunately it seems like caring about things needs follow through, so when you only care 2 days out of the week, it makes plans difficult.
So am I handling this right? What else should be happening, here? Is it fair to be this annoyed at someone who's probably depressed, because their constant web browsing and withdrawnness is bringing me down when I'm trying to work on my own creative projects and live a normal life? If he agrees to work on things, what should our parameters be?
posted by
Human Relations
(39 answers total)
11 users marked this as a favorite
Why is he necessarily depressed? I mean, it sounds like he is, don't get me wrong, but maybe he's just not a very interesting person. Not everyone is, you know. And between you bugging him about it (you do sound a bit naggish) and whatever psychiatric issues he may have had, he might just be extremely self-conscious about being social, which might explain his reluctance to talk at your party.
All you can really do is encourage him to get therapy, and if he doesn't want to, you can't force him.
posted by
downing street memo
on November 17, 2009
Has his personality undergone a drastic change, or is it that you'd now
for his personality to drastically change? (That's not a dig - I honestly can't tell from your question which is the case - and it very much matters).
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
2 favorites
Does he like his job?
posted by
on November 17, 2009
It doesn't matter if we tell you "yes, you're totally justified in being annoyed," because you'll still be annoyed and he'd still (?) be depressed. Your question reminded me of
this recent one
. Is he happy with himself and his life? If the answer is yes, there's not much you can do. You're free to set your own standards - if you want to be with someone who makes plans and is enthusiastic about life, it might not be this guy.
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
3 favorites
You are micromanaging your boyfriend. He is not your ward or employee; you shouldn't be giving him a series of 3 ultimatums, act pissy when he doesn't react well, and then ask random internet strangers what else you should be doing.
It almost seems like you don't really view him as an adult. The truth is that adults are allowed to mope around in the evenings, do things they don't want to to make their girlfriends happy and not because they enjoy, spend all their time online, or have depression. If these things really offend and bother you so much (it seems like they do), you need to sit down as adults and evaluate what you both think need to be done, together--rather than giving him a set of options and rule books (Feel Good handbook? What?) that he can comply with or get out.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
When we got together, and for at least a year and a half after that, his personality was a very good fit to mine. He was a quirky guy who was interested in the world, in writing, in exploring things. We would usually have a big trip together planned, and I've seen more of the country with him than I did in my entire life. He would put together slightly wacky science experiments with super magnets, try and construct a giant light focusing thing, find recipes and make fancy meals....he had a lot of little interests, some of them kind of nutty, but I appreciated his enthusiasm. It's like his interest-generating mechanism has rusted over the past months.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
You may find some similarities between your situation and
I see a lot of myself in what you've described. I gave ultimatums, went to counseling both on my own and with him, tried new things, everything... and it still took another few years before we broke up.
Don't be like me, okay?
posted by
on November 17, 2009
Some people are just melancholy and introverted by nature and they're happy that way. If he is depressed, then unless he is actively self-destructive (suicidal, drug abuse, etc), he will get treatment when he is ready and it's really better that way, even though it's frustrating for you.
Frankly, you sound a bit codependent to me. You're focusing on his flaws and making him into a fix-up project, and he is right to be angry with you for that. You need to focus on the good that he brings into your life, and let his problems be just that:
his problems.
Why should your happiness and fulfillment be dependent on his moods?
posted by
on November 17, 2009
Because my artwork involves long periods of time on the computer, he's taken to criticizing it when I ask him about why he spends night after night online, and says it's hypocritical of me to mention his internet habits.
He won't make plans independent of me, but he will be dismissive or not in the mood to try things I suggest for us. I can operate independently, so if I don't feel like pushing the issue, then I just sit down and work on one of my design jobs.
Most of the time it feels like if I plan something and then just resolve to do it whether he's interested or not, he'll go with me 70% of the time. But he won't invest any effort in it, and it leaves him free to criticize it later or lose interest.
I've actually used that "cruise director" term before, Madamina, and I think I picked it up from reading your post before.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
He absolutely sounds depressed. On the other hand, never date anyone you think you can fix.
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
2 favorites
I am a very introverted person. I like a few minutes to myself when I get home to change into something comfortable and grab some tea. If anyone bothers me during this decompressing process, I get a little testy. Then, I plop on a loveseat away from the TV and read a magazine or book. I surf the net and read articles that interest me.
I don't want to go out for drinks or dinner, I don;t want to talk on the phone - I want to do THAT. It's gotten more pronounced over the last few years. At 20, I liked to party and drink with friends. At 24, I like this. I enjoy the peace. It helps me think. As I got older, I've gotten less good at pointless chatter and other people's bullshit.
People change. I'm not saying he ISN'T depressed... but people change, especially in their early 20's. He may be persuing some interests online. DO you know what kind of thing he looks at? Or is he just looking up the Wikipedia page on Aluminum and reading Perez Hilton?
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
8 favorites
I was in a relationship where he designated me "social secretary" and then accused me of having to have my way all the time, specifically in regard to our social arrangements. It was a lose-lose situation for me and I'm really glad that one ended.
FWIW, whatever next steps you do take, I think sticking to your guns and following through on your actions is really important.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
or internet addiction? Apparently we are not wired for INFORMATION all the time (like food all the time- we're wired for scarcity) so our brains go on binges sometimes, or it can be hard to stop. Obesity of the brain, maybe. It's not good knowledge, it's flabby random trivia.
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
2 favorites
Recently, it seems like unless I make something happen (plan dinner, arrange events), he won't do anything except be on the computer.
It's a small part of your complex question, but on this point alone...
I'm like that. I'm only "on the computer" when working (even now, I am working in a half-assed way in another window) but if left to my own devices, I would probably stay home all the time, too.
Understand: I can be as social as anyone, I travel a lot, and I'll happily spend six or seven nights out some weeks, doing things with people and having fun... as long as someone else arranges it, or asks me along, or grabs my ear and pulls me out the door (it happens).
But I'm a horrible 'event planner', and if it were left up to me, any group would probably just end up on the couch watching a movie and ordering takeout every night. There's less thinking and deciding and coordinating required, which makes it feel less like "work" to me.
So this in itself might not be related to the other problems you mention. It might just be a harmless personality type.
(I'm harmless, right?)
posted by
on November 17, 2009
It seems to me like you're overly invested in the idea of him as a project (perfectly ok raw material that isn't working the way you'd like it to) than as a boyfriend. Honestly, your plan to tell him that he can either be more fun and interesting and passionate and sociable OR you'll expect him to move out and then, having been kicked out, work through some workbook with you.... That's just a whole set of weird expectations and ideas about how relationships are supposed to work. If he's on the computer in the evenings I don't see why what he's doing (whether reading the internet or writing a novel) should affect your own creative projects. I
see how what he does with his time might make you more or less attracted to or interested in him - but that's on you. You get to choose whether you want to be with this guy, but writing up memoranda about all of the aspects of himself that he should change is just.... off.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
Most everyone I went to college with seemed to have this quirky-random-interest phase that went into our mid-twenties (and was helped by like-minded people still living in the same metro area). Then people started getting tougher jobs, going back to school, getting married, all that stuff, and the random doesn't happen any more. It's kind of a bummer but it's not that everyone got depressed at once. Another part is that as people got older, they often would decide to pursue only one or two things and develop some skills, instead of being sort of a dilettante. (But it takes time to figure out what those things are!) And if you have to be at work all day, and work isn't fun for a lot of people, it's work, and then you go home and you're still being accountable and doing work, taking x, y, and z steps to change yourself in order to make somebody else happy.. sounds like kind of a drag.
It can kind of poison the inspiration and fun of developing a new interest when another person is pushing you & making it part of their project to change you. And if he is a bit depressed.. well, when I was depressed for a while, I remember friends/family (who meant well, I know) trying to make plans for me or push me to do things, and going along was no fun at all, it just felt like more work I was doing to please other people so *they* didn't feel bad. Objectively, modern life can be overwhelming and depressing, it's just how it is, and it takes a while to figure out what the heck you like and care about and what means something to you and all that, and some people just need time and space and patience. Sometimes I've wished people would give me a break and say, all right, if you're feeling bad & want to talk I'll listen, if not, that's cool. And if I didn't feel like talking or turned down invites to parties or resisted attempts to make me take up this or that hobby/sport/etc, just say "OK, no problem! Maybe next time."
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi...
Why don't you do your thing, and ask him for help/advice/feedback on your creative endeavors and interests, or take a crack at new recipes and ask him how he thinks they turned out? And meanwhile let him enjoy the interwebs and video games in the evenings if he wants, and have several days a week when he only wants to veg out in front of the computer. If this goes on and you're not happy then ok, maybe you guys shouldn't be together?
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
2 favorites
I seldom make a plan to go out and do something and then do it. I spend a lot of evenings reading and yes, surfing the Internet. But when I am out, I like to veer off from the plan on a whim and do something that seems interesting at the moment.
So when we were first married, my wife spent a lot of time frustrated that I didn't want to go out shopping with her, or doing whatever - she didn't even know what. Even if I said ok to "lets go do something" the next stumper was "Do what?"
On the other hand, I spent a lot of time frustrated that, as we were passing by the beach I might say, "Hey, want to go have a walk and a drink at the barefoot bar?" all I'd get is a "meh, no."
So we both kind of felt simultaneously that the other "never wanted to do anything fun," when the opposite was true. We both did, in different ways. Something to think about.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
its time to admit this guy isn't capable of being a partner to you right now. time to give him the space he needs and you a shot at finding someone who is at a good place and can be a partner to you.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
When you give someone options, and one of them is moving out, it's over. Do him and yourself a favor and get it over with.
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
5 favorites
You sound like you are doing everything right. You've been tolerant and understanding. I'm kind of surprised that you didn't mention the option of dumping him. You've put up with a lot and you clearly are not in the kind of relationship you want to be in. I would say you have performed your ethical duty to him and the relationship, and you should be thinking about the unthinkable. Dumping him may well be the kind of situation that he needs to shock him back to life.
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
1 favorite
Reactions will be mixed to your dilemma because of the sharp divide on askme between internet junkies and socializing gogetters, but I think the answer is probably -neither-.
He's moping around angst-ridden and you are badgering him, both for the same reason. You're bored, and the spark of love that made you two shack up togther is gone, so you're spending all of your energy making eachother miserable. Forget this specific issue and work on that with therapy and honesty and embarassing sexual experimentation, or, more practically, DTMFA. He's fine, you're fine, you're terrible together right now.
posted by
Potomac Avenue
on November 17, 2009 [
1 favorite
Does this man have a job? Any plans to get one?
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
1 favorite
I'm confused as to how he feels about the situation. Is he perfectly happy with his habits, and you're the one pushing him to be different? Or is he unhappy with the way things are? If he's happy, he's not going to change. If he's unhappy, it doesn't sound like he's ready to deal with it. If he is, indeed, depressed, then you can encourage him to go to therapy, but there isn't much else you can do. He's got to decide if he's unhappy, and he's got to decide what he wants to do about it.
That doesn't mean that you've got to stick around if you're not okay with that situation, though. As someone who has struggled with depression for a long time, I would find it really upsetting to have my boyfriend bug me all the time about being more social or set ultimatums about getting out of the house instead of being understanding and supportive of my limitations.
After re-reading, it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't think there is a problem with the current situation. If that's the case, there really isn't much you can do beyond breaking up or learning not to be annoyed by his habits.
posted by
on November 17, 2009
Please re-read your post and note the stark lack of empathy you show for your boyfriend. You call him lazy, lackluster. He doesn't interact properly with your fabulous friends, he lacks "deeper" interests, lacks follow-through, doesn't have enough friends, only wants to do easy things, he takes the path of least resistance, he's not trying, yadda yadda yadda. You spend so much time enumerating his many faults and shortcoming that you come across as controlling, critical, and righteous.
As a reader, I'm trying to get a sense of what you're feeling and am coming up nearly empty. Your frustration and anger are palpable. But beyond anger, what? Sorry, but "I just feel like he's not trying" is not a feeling. It's an accusation. So, what are you feeling? Are you lonely? Are you sad that you lost something beautiful in your relationship? Are you scared that you picked the wrong guy and may have to chuck the last two and half years of your life? Are you afraid that this relationship is teasing out a frightening version of yourself? You ask what you're missing. Start here. I think some attention to your own internal landscape will temper your harshness.
As for him. If the path of least resistance is his computer and the path of most resistance is you, he will choose the computer every time. All the emails, outlines, bullet points, action plans, accountability agreements, and dumb workbooks of your choosing will not change the nature of those two paths. They will only amplify the fact that if he wants some peace, he'll have to go where you aren't. Is he depressed? For the sake of argument, let's say he is. All of this racket is a flawless way to make a depressive retreat. If he admits that he's depressed, then what? It's easy to see how he might then worry that you'll criticize how he's managing his depression.
Try to think deeply about what it means to be depressed. Try to imagine what it's like to feel empty, bereft of things you used to love, drained by people and the requirements of socialization, hopeless, unmotivated, exhausted, angry, and lonely even in the presence of loved ones. That's the other part you're missing. Have some empathy for these experiences instead of criticizing him. Labeling him as being depressed and then berating him for acting depressed is deeply unfair.
So, let's say the 'he's depressed' theory is the right one. While your deciding to stay in the relationship or not, grab some books on depression. Read them because you want to deepen your sensitivity to the condition, because you want to add shape and texture to your understanding. Read them as if they're your operating manuals. Not his. While you're doing all this reading, you're also giving him space. You're not waiting for him to do anything. You're not going to have talks. You're not expecting him to do anything with that space. He's just going to be. Allow him his space, don't make him negotiate for it.
You don't have to stay and you don't have to hang your needs in the broom-closet indefinitely. If leaving is the kindest thing you can do for yourself, then you should leave. Your needs are not defined by his limits, but having a clear and compassionate view of both will help you decide what to do.
posted by
on November 17, 2009 [
11 favorites
I'm with space_cookie on this one.
Even if you call his behaviour 'depressed', and say, we all agree with you, how might you change the way you are dealing with him? Moving out/ending the relationship may be an idea to explore down the track, but if you love the guy and want more of his time and energy why not try to examine things from his point of view?
The episode where 'I kept asking questions about what he wants to do and what he feels, he wound up getting totally upset and standing up and having a kind of aggressive freakout because I wouldn't let it drop' would have been an alarm bell for me to examine myself and my motives. I've been you in this situation, and I regret it. I figure that a part of me wanted to see if my man could muster up care/feelings/energy for anything even if it was actually backing him into a corner and forcing him. It doesn't work. Give him some space to work through stuff from his very recent 'craziness' [your word] - a few months isn't that long when you're dealing with depression.
And if he's into internet surfing to chill out/occupy himself - why not start trying to connect through that? It's great to find stuff you both might enjoy, show an interest in what he's reading about or looking at, maybe read about some of those things yourself. It worked for me and my IT oriented man as it reduced judgmental dismissals of our different interests. Plus I found out about Keyboard Cat, got short term addicted to music mash-ups and learned about all these folk into 9/11 debunking/faked moon landings... You get the idea. It chilled out the whole 'you're always on the computer!' factor by taking away its somewhat isolating tendency in a relationship.
posted by
on November 18, 2009 [
1 favorite
Is it fair to be this annoyed at someone who's probably depressed, because their constant web browsing and withdrawnness is bringing me down when I'm trying to work on my own creative projects and live a normal life?
I think the answer is 'not fair at all', but I'm not sure this is a useful question. I like all the folks up above who are saying that you have expectations and preferences about what kind of partner you are compatible with. Sometimes people mesh and are on the same path, and other times folks just start going in different directions about how they want to be in the world and how they want to spend your time. I note your core question - is this the new normal of how he wants to be in the world (because things have shifted for him), or is this a manifestation of depression (and somewhere underneath all that is the him you knew). I agree with everyone who is saying that if he isn't inclined to consider or address these points, it probably doesn't matter.
And then the question becomes when you think of the qualities of this man, and the qualities you want in a partner, if this is someone you can be with. How wide is the gulf between those two points, and at what point does it become a dealbreaker? One of the things that might be interesting for you to consider - or even ask - is what he wants in a partner, and if you're even what that looks like for him now. Maybe what he wants is a partner who hits the town with all of her friends and then comes home to him, maybe it's someone else who just hangs out and is surfing the web next to him. Whatever it is, it probably isn't someone who keeps pressing him to do something that he isn't inclined to do.
It sounds like you do care for him, and what you are doing is in an effort to help. There are times when partners do recognize the signs of depression. But even if you were together 40 years and you sensed depression, you'd be in the same situation - is this something that you want to live with, based on how the partner is now, not how they used to be or how they might be in the future. It sounds like the answer for you would be: if this is how he's going to be, the answer might be no. And what's difficult about that, is that your partner is unlikely to articulate some phrasing like: I'm sorry. My values seem to have changed. What I want from life has changed. But for you it's still the same......So the person witnessing the change (you) doesn't really get any sort of closure, if the closure they seek is some definitive move from their partner.
If you're not okay with how he is now - which is totally okay - appreciate the qualities he currently has, regret the qualities he seems to have lost that you valued, and decide if this person is partner material for you as they are now. Depression might be there new normal.
In short, if you decide to leave, you're the one who is going to have to work up the energy to leave. Sadly, you'll be the planner/arranger for that part as well.
posted by
on November 18, 2009
So you've given him 3 options and he hasn't answered you yet:
1.) Move out in January and do his own lazy thing - Why are you giving him the control here? He obviously likes the path of least resistance which means he won't be looking for a new place to live. This option should be changed to YOU will move out by Jan so he can do his own lazy thing.
2.) Agree there's a problem and set accountable behaviors for us to work on - Again, if he's not motivated to even plan dinner, this isn't gonna happen.
3.) Agreeing there's a problem - He's not admitting it. You can't force him to admit it.
If he doesn't get back to you with a response, well there's your answer.
posted by
on November 18, 2009 [
1 favorite
He does have a job. He goes in and out of phases of not liking it. Recently his response to "how his day has been" is one of quiet resignation.
We first corresponded on the internet, and throughout our relationship have spent countless hours watching youtube videos and the Onion and sending ridiculous links to each other. We played an online RPG last winter but stopped when it got sunny out again.
Space_cookie sees the lack of empathy in my post, and that's because I'm running on the fumes of my frustration right now, and those fumes feel like the only thing that's keeping me from just collapsing in a sad little ball and wallowing all over the place because the funny and excitable person I knew and traveled with and loved has submerged under the stone-faced dude who doesn't care about shit, and has said as much to me repeatedly over the last couple days and at times throughout the last months.
The option of moving out was included because I knew it would be difficult, and if he is taking the path of least resistance, I hoped he would realize that it's less effort to try and work things out. It's been pointed out that giving people ultimatums is basically trying to control them and people tend to resent that.
I would not say he's happy with his situation. I would say that he doesn't want to do anything else.
posted by
on November 18, 2009
With dearness to your feelings, could it be that the relationship has run its course?
posted by
on November 18, 2009 [
1 favorite
When I read this, nearly all my sympathy was for your boyfriend and not for you. :-/ He's holding down a job and he's nice in the mornings, more withdrawn when he comes home. Instead of just being able to unwind and do whatever he feels like, you nag him and insist there is something wrong with him and that he must change. It's no wonder he's withdrawn or seems depressed.
I have some sympathy for you in that he didn't act that way before, and surely that must make you sad. Your approach seems to be lacking in empathy, though, and makes me feel anxiety on behalf of your boyfriend just reading it. Let me be clear that by "lacking in empathy" I'm not saying you don't care about your boyfriend's feelings; obviously you care about him and that's why you want him to be as happy as he was before. "Lacking in empathy" just means you don't seem to have any understanding of how he feels, and as a result the way you approach the situation is ineffective. Either he's depressed or just going through a burnt-out phase or he's possibly introverted, but everything you're doing is the sort of thing that would make it worse.
I'm trying to untangle this, so let's start here:
However, way back in January we had a discussion about how he needs to reach out and find his own community of some sort.
Can you elaborate? Why did you have this discussion? Did you feel he was smothering you and needed to spend time with other people? (I ask because of the sentence that preceded it.) If so, it's not surprising if he became more withdrawn after that, though it wasn't wrong of you to bring it up. People get mopey when someone they want to spend time with doesn't want to spend as much time with them. It's a blow. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with either of you, but it's one of those things that the person on the receiving end has to work through.
Or was it because
felt he needed to have more friends because you just thought it wasn't normal to have as few friends as he does? Apologies if you would never think something like that, it's just the tone of some of the stuff later is really unfair to your boyfriend and comes across as overly-controlling, so I feel I have to ask. It's hard to know if you're really that nitpicky and constantly looking for things to fix, or just the nature of asking the question entails that you include all this stuff. Needless to say, there is no "right" amount of friends to have, and if he didn't see it as an issue, it would make him feel like you thought he was defective or something when he isn't. If my SO told me I needed more friends when I felt fine, I would get depressed and resentful -- if I didn't leave them for being so presumptuous and controlling.
say he felt like he didn't have enough friends, and that it made him unhappy, and so you just encouraged him to get more friends then? In other words, would you be okay with it if he never had more friends than he does now if he didn't think it was an issue? You never once say that
your boyfriend
feels like he doesn't have enough friends, and that's what concerns me. You say things like "we had a discussion" or the lack of friends "became an issue" and "I feel like Charles doesn't have any friends, really." It comes across that this is
issue and not his.
that's the case, then it seems to me like you created a problem where there was none and you're largely to blame for the way he's behaving now; few people remain vibrant when their SOs criticize them for seemingly no good reason, and they're sure as hell not going to want to spend much time with their SO, much less their SO's friends.
If that's the case, he was going along, doing his thing and being cool with it, when all of the sudden that was unacceptable to you. That would be jarring and upsetting to anyone, no less because he wasn't actually doing anything wrong and the only way he can get you to lay off is by doing stuff that makes him unhappy. People don't want to be their SO's project, they want an SO who will love them
as they are
. They want someone they can feel okay around. You are not being someone your boyfriend can feel okay around.
For what it's worth, the whole spending tons of time with you in particular and not having many other friends, then wanting to spend time doing quiet stuff... your boyfriend just sounds introverted. And it sounds like he was perfectly happy as an introvert earlier in your relationship. It comes across like you think there's something objectively wrong with that and there's some minimum number of friends he should be expected to have. If that's the case, please be aware that plenty of people live their entire lives with only one or two close friends, and you would be one of his.
If you're not okay with his spending tons of time with you,
that's fine
. But don't make him feel bad when he tries to spend time
by himself
on the internet, and don't nag him to get other friends instead of spending time alone. Spending time alone is completely valid, whether you think it's odd or not. If this is on-target, then it will probably help you read about introversion.
Worth noting: if he's an introvert, being tired while he's out with your friends, and being tired after work and just wanting to be left alone is completely normal. Nagging him to not do those things will drive him crazy. As an introvert, I can't emphasize how upsetting being forced into interactions is when I want time to myself. My husband's family was in town for nearly a week this summer, and I love his family. My limit on heavy social interaction is two days before I start to become unhinged. I went out with them every single day because I didn't want to be rude, but after about the fourth day, I would come home afterward and literally cry from feeling so claustrophobic; it's a horrible feeling, all on top of being exhausted out of my mind. My husband is very understanding of this and always gives me my space when I need it. If he tried to make me feel like something is objectively wrong with me, and followed me into the bedroom and told me to quit crying, why am I so depressed I need to Do Something About It, and sent me e-mails about it after I blew up at him, christ, I can't even imagine how unhappy I'd be. I would have nowhere to go for peace. If he criticized me for being on the internet after I come home from work, I would be crazy with unhappiness. I would never get anything done and I would make us both miserable.
Instead, he doesn't push me at all, he's sympathetic when I'm upset about things, and he doesn't insist I change anything. We are very, very happy. That's the kind of environment people need to better themselves, not constant criticism and pushing to change. If you want any hope of his being the person he was before, you have to stop nagging. You have to let him feel that it's okay if he wants to relax and do easy stuff in the evenings and not go out all that much, and if that makes him happy you'll still love him. It may work and it may not, but you know that what you're doing now doesn't work at all. And if you actually won't love him unless he'll do other things in the evening and go out with you a lot, then you need to stop this and break up with him. Just because he's no longer the guy for you doesn't mean he should feel badly about being himself, because he's still the right guy for someone else. I'm sure tons of people reading this would have no problem with a SO that held down a job and browsed the internet in the evening and didn't want to go out much -- if they aren't already dating someone just like that.
He then had some dramatic medication-related mental health issues that pushed that goal to a back burner while we tangled with the craziness
I'm assuming this wasn't depression, or you'd have mentioned it and you wouldn't have to ask us if he's depressed. Did he have some sort of psychotic episode? Is he bipolar or something? If so, dear god, please have some patience -- it was hardly months before you expected him to get over it and out there making new friends. I've had a number of family members have psychotic episodes and when it happens -- especially the first couple times -- it is life-shattering for them when they come out of it. If he's depressed over something like that,
he is completely normal.
It is a terrifying thing to have to go through, and no one likes to think that they were crazy or could go crazy again. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have your very self unravel. It takes years to be at peace with something like that, at least as far as I can tell, and I would bet that deep down, it takes even longer. All the worksheets in the world aren't going to force him to get over it any faster. It would be akin to someone's parents dying and expecting them to be themselves months later -- and not only themselves, but proactive, go-getter versions of themselves. It's unreasonable and lacking in empathy.
What you mean by "craziness" and what kind of medication caused it could make all the difference in the world for the advice you get. It strikes me as a bit odd that you skimp on big details like these but you give tiny details for relatively insignificant-seeming things, and I'm hard-pressed to discern why. All I can think is you want to respect your boyfriend's privacy, but then the other details are pretty unfavorably-cast and probably just as much things he wouldn't want people knowing. Or maybe it was just an overwhelming question to ask and you were trying to make it shorter. I can't know why you presented the information you did, so I'll just say that it comes across that you're putting your attention on entirely the wrong things -- the "craziness" seems not to be that important an event in your mind, but his spending time on the internet is -- and it makes one wonder if the lack of understanding there isn't making your boyfriend feel worse, and for longer, than he might have otherwise. That impression is going to color the advice you receive. Either it's a valid point, or you should try and clarify to get more helpful advice -- only you can really know.
Without more information, it just sounds to me like your boyfriend is being normal and needs some space (for whatever reason of the many possible ones), and you're being controlling and making the problem worse. If he's not the person you want him to be then break up with him, but criticizing someone's behavior and giving them ultimatums to change just because you wish they were another way is really not cool, and rather cruel. I want to say that I hope you just came across the wrong way, but I think the problem would actually be solved more easily if you didn't; if you're just being too controlling then you can actually do something about it and make peace with a situation you should have been okay with before, AND you would learn something important and vital to any relationship you ever have -- whereas if your boyfriend is depressed and sincerely wants more friends and all that, things are out of your hands.
But either way, even if none of it is your fault,
lay off.
Quit sending him e-mails, even; I know you think you're being less in his face that way, but all it means is that he can't go
to escape you. Doing the sort of things you're doing will just drive him away and make him feel more isolated and like no one accepts him. If you're going to break up with him then do it, but the nagging has GOT to stop.
posted by
on November 18, 2009 [
1 favorite
He sounds like a perfectly ordinary person who just happens to be happy with his own company. People can be perfectly happy at home browsing the internet by themselves. That's what I'm doing right now, and it's nice and relaxing.
It sounds like you won't be happy with this unless he gets out of the house more and hangs out with people, so maybe he can find some new friends who are into hanging out while browsing on their netbooks or reading quietly.
Because my artwork involves long periods of time on the computer, he's taken to criticizing it when I ask him about why he spends night after night online, and says it's hypocritical of me to mention his internet habits.
So his being on the computer brings you down because you nag him about it and he gets annoyed about your nagging, is that right? Think on that one.
I brought it up a couple weeks ago when we were out (the only people tucked in the side room of a bar), and as I kept asking questions about what he wants to do and what he feels, he wound up getting totally upset and standing up and having a kind of aggressive freakout because I wouldn't let it drop.
Sounds like you got him to go out with you, and you gave him a big dose of negative reinforcement for doing so. If you want him to go out, don't make it an occasion to criticize and needle him over not going out more often.
posted by
on November 18, 2009
I really want to thank all of you for helping out with this, and the widespread gamut of answers in and of itself is somehow reassuring, because it makes me feel like the situation is as complicated as it seems to me.
Somehow leaving him alone always felt like giving up, but I was probably confusing what I would want with what he said he wanted. I sent him one last e-mail last night saying that I would leave him alone to do his own thing, and apologizing for being a badger. I told him that I would still like us to go to a therapist (apart or together), and that a therapist isn't there for pills but to help people communicate better. He had sent me an email earlier that evening, and it was kind of spiteful and had some self-loathing elements in it, so I tried to mention how, kind of like Potomac Avenue said, our individual personality traits just aren't working well together right now, and I mentioned some times in the past where he really helped me when I was overthinky and worried, and when our different personalities worked together.
Are there really people here that feel like having a partner and one casual acquaintance is healthy? No snark intended, I'm seriously wondering if it's a thing that's worked, having one friend outside of your relationship, who you hang out with every six months and instant message maybe once every couple weeks? Because it seems like it would especially affect an introvert who was living with an annoyingly positive chatty cathy sort. Wouldn't it be better to have a laid back dude friend that you can just hang out with and not be with your girlfriend, and wouldn't that give you an outlet for things your girlfriend might not be into? No one person can fill the void and be your 100 percent support group, right?
Nattie, thanks for touching on so many details. The Charles I remember did enjoy hanging out with folks when we went out, and I remember him sometimes telling me that so-and-so was cool, and that he'd like to do something with them. Brewing beer together, that sort of thing. However, we are both ADD types who have issues following through with things like that, and my impression is that a lot of those opportunities slipped by. I do know more people and through casual friendships tend to have more casual hang-out opportunities fall in my lap, so I think I just developed a habit of mentioning those possibilities when I saw their appearance in his life. Probably I brought it up as a specific idea in January, because I'm more likely to talk about lifestyle habits and he's more likely to put forth ideas of things he likes or doesn't like. So he might mention it as a casual aside, and I would draw it out and try to describe it as something that could happen, and how it might happen.
As far as the depression/bipolar thing goes, maybe I should have linked to
my previous question
, but I didn't think of that and felt that including the information in this post would have been way too much text. Last fall he did talk to that doctor about being depressed, but the whole pill fiasco happened, and after finally getting off the pills properly, life seemed to even out, and he had some interests again, although he still had moody days. Now that there's this period where the interests have tapered off.
If the relationship continues, and I learn how to better give him space for the slumps, I think I might have to have a go-to friend that I talk to, who knows that I might need them as a person to just hang out with. I've ended up assuming that he'll fill a certain percentage of my intimacy needs, and when he drops out of that, I feel the loss on my end, too.
posted by
on November 19, 2009
Are there really people here that feel like having a partner and one casual acquaintance is healthy? No snark intended, I'm seriously wondering if it's a thing that's worked, having one friend outside of your relationship, who you hang out with every six months and instant message maybe once every couple weeks? Because it seems like it would especially affect an introvert who was living with an annoyingly positive chatty cathy sort. Wouldn't it be better to have a laid back dude friend that you can just hang out with and not be with your girlfriend, and wouldn't that give you an outlet for things your girlfriend might not be into?
It depends on the partners.
I'm going to speak for myself here, as a hardcore introvert. While my social life never was down to my significant other + one (every 6 weeks or so) acquaintance, I can certainly say that if I was living with "an annoyingly positive chatty cathy sort" the LAST thing I would want is to hang out with someone else. Anyone else. It wouldn't matter who. If my girlfriend or boyfriend was that person to recharge I would want to be alone, not to hang out with a friend, no matter how "chill" they are.
My outlet, as an introvert, is not always venting to, or hanging out my friends, it's being alone for a while. Being with people is not an "outlet" for an introvert.
What you need to understand is that introverts LIKE being alone. Not always, but it does recharge us. And if my partner was constantly extroverted, chatty, whathaveyou, the last thing I'd want to do is go out and be with another person to be chatty about how that annoys me. I'd want to be left the hell alone for an hour or two each night to browse the net.
I sympathize, I do. It's such a difference in personality that it's very hard to grasp.
posted by
on November 20, 2009 [
1 favorite
As a 6 months later update for anyone checking up on things...
Charles' behavior became more and more worrying, and he became more and more introverted; to the point where even just going to the grocery store was obviously distressing him. He spent a hours and hours talking to an internet chatbot, asking it questions about God and life and consciousness. It was ultimately good for me to distance myself from obsessing over every bit of his strange behavior, because there was really only so much I could do.
A little over a month after I asked this question, Charles had an incident at one of our favorite restaurants that made it as clear as possible how different his emotional state had become (this was a place we'd gone to many many times before): he was incredibly aggressive towards the waitress and got kicked out, and on his way out the door he spat another insult at her that resulted in her 86'ing him. That night he was like a cold weird creature that I didn't know, but the next morning he could see straight enough to agree to make an appointment at the psychiatrist again.
At the psychiatrists' office, he became progressively agitated at the doctor's questions until he entered a weird catatonic state, like a malfunctioning robot. The psychiatrist's office was only about 5 blocks from a hospital, so although they offered to call 911, I felt that since Charles wasn't violent in any way I would okay with walking him to the ER. Once there, he could barely answer the nurse's questions and just glazed out into space while talking to himself, but after a little while he agreed to take some pills, and he wasn't upset at being checked in for the night. I went home and cried a lot, but it was a relief to know he was actually safe.
The next day I went to see him, and things were still a bit weird, but he was released from the hospital with a prescription that started doing a lot of good. He slept 18 hours a day for a couple days, but over time things mellowed out, and I could have periods of interacting with the Charles I remembered. It was obvious that he was feeling better, although the path to getting a good prescription regimen can be difficult (at one point I woke up in the middle of the night to find him packing, and I convinced him not to move to New Mexico in order to build a boat and sail to Atlantis). He's still really dealing with developing a life for himself and working through those crazy months, but we're in a much better place now.
It turns out that a lot of bipolar/schizophrenia things can start manifesting themselves in the early twenties. Looking back, some of his moodiness (how we could go on a day trip and be having a fine time, and then he would sour and snap in the middle, for no apparent reason) seems like it could have been an early indicator, but I never knew him any other way. It's interesting to be able to go places with him now; to be able to spend an entire weekend without him becoming upset at some perceived slight from a waiter or something like that.
Again, we're still working through this. Sometimes I think everything's magically better now, but that's not how it really works. You can't spend half a year with off and on schizophrenic style beliefs without having it do things to your perception to the world. I have to remember to give him space to feel under-the-weather, while still keeping an eye on behaviors in case things start to slip. It's a weird balance, and sometimes I'm afraid of fucking it up because I get naggy, so I spend a lot of time reminding myself not to be naggy.
Like space_cookie says, empathy is a big part of it. When I'm talking about it with other people (like in my question above), I try to let my selfish bits shine through, because no matter how much I care about Charles, there's still a part of me that feels tired and overwhelmed and wishes that I didn't have to deal with this sort of thing, ever, and I need to express that, too. But sometimes shit happens, and this shit happened to us, not just to me. And I love him, and so I want to help him get through it and be able to live confidently again.
Man, until I'd hung out with a paranoid person and tuned into that frequency, it's like I had no idea how much random coincidental shit the world churns out. Being around him for a little while in public on a bad day made me really hypersensitive to how much noise a head absorbs when going through episodes.
: Boyfriend was going crazy, I wasn't helping matters much. We're still together, and medication is a very useful thing to have.
posted by
on June 1, 2010 [
1 favorite
I also went and added the tags "bipolar" and "schizophrenia", just now. Although he didn't have that sort of diagnosis until later, I think this thread could be useful for someone in a similar situation.
posted by
on June 1, 2010
Oh, man! What a tough time for you and your partner. So glad to hear that things are looking up!
I'm reeeeeally, really happy to hear that he's gotten help. Every day is different, and you're right to realize that it's not just a matter of finding the right thing and being better forever.
I hope you take time to take care of yourself. If you have support groups in your area for people whose partners have mental heath issues, or even just counseling, I'd strongly suggest that you take advantage of it (if you're not doing so already). You can't be the best partner you can be unless you have your own issues in check, and you deserve to be able to vent/work things out about your life with him in a safe space away what's going on in your relationship.
That sounds all doom and gloom now that I've typed it, but you sound like a great partner with good times ahead of you.
Have a hug!
posted by
on June 1, 2010
Some years ago, I took an excellent course for family members and friends of people with schizophrenia and/or bipolar. It was put on by
and I highly recommend it if it is still available.
posted by
on June 1, 2010
Ah, here's the course.
posted by
on June 1, 2010
It was touching to read your followup Brisquette. YOu've been an amazing girlfriend and your man is, in terms of having a loving and supportive significant other, very lucky.
posted by
on June 3, 2010 [
1 favorite
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[Image Description: Manarchist Riker macro: A picture of Commander Riker from Star Trek: The Next Generation, wearing a uniform and smiling at the camera. Caption: I've read a lot of theory / None of it by black women, queers or trans people]
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LIMA, Peru--Peru's farming, cement and electricity production all rose strongly in January, pointing to overall growth in gross domestic product in the first month of the year.
Government statistics agency INEI said Friday that farming-sector activity gained 5.91% in January, compared with the same month a year earlier.
Electricity output increased 5.89% in January.
Cement production, a key indicator in construction-sector activity, increased 18.64% in the month.
The INEI releases the figures for growth in various sectors before later releasing the overall GDP number.
The Finance Ministry's index of leading indicators points to an increase of about 6.9% in January's GDP.
In 2012, Peru's GDP expanded by 6.3%.
Write to Robert Kozak at email@example.com.


text:
Do This! Anchor Your Skewers
The phrase "anchor your skewers" sounds like some dirty code sailors might use, but it's one of the greatest tips we've picked up in our years of grilling (other than using a charcoal chimney). It sounds so simple, but quickly becomes an important detail before you find yourself fishing flaming tomatoes out of your coals! We anchor ours with...
Red Onion and it does the trick every time! Because of their natural curvy shape they hold fast and keep all the other tasty things on our skewers in place. Not a huge "hunk of onion" fan? Add them to the ends and roast them anyway! Store them in your freezer for your next need for some already roasted off.
Many other vegetables lose the majority of their water content during the grilling process and although they are still soft and moist, they don't do so well holding the weight of the other pieces of food during the flipping and rotating that goes on.
What do you anchor your skewers with? Let us know in the comments below!
• Vegetarian Skewers Five Ways
• Times Top 5: Rosemary Skewers for Grilling
• Grilling Tip: Do You Need to Soak Kabob Skewers?
(Image: Sarah Rae Trover)
5 Comments
Mmm, that would've helped last weekend! We got some kabobs at the market, and they put tomatoes on the end--very silly of them!
I usually anchor with a nice big mushroom cap or a hunk of green pepper. I find onion chunks can get a bit too floppy to really hold everything on there.
Good to know, if I ever get a grill! (Condo assn. won't let us have them!)
Big hunk of carrot. Which gets tossed when they're done.
My mom has always anchored with olives.


text:
I did a presentation on this topic at the Massachusetts Library Association conference in Falmouth this morning, and posted the PowerPoint on Slideshare:
Category Archives: Libraries
Library of Congress on Flickr (More)
The Library of Congress collections on Flickr have gotten a lot of attention and activity since its launch on January 16. Flickr reported on their blog that in the first twenty-four hours after the launch, users added about 19,000 tags and just over 500 comments. The Library of Congress reported on their blog that all 3,100 + photographs had been viewed, with over 650,000 photo views in total as of the evening of January 17.
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Library of Congress on Flickr
The Library of Congress and Flickr have a new pilot project called The Commons. Photographs from two of the American Memory collections, 1930s-40s in Color and News in the 1910s, a total of over 3,000 images.
The first set consists of photographs taken for the Farm Security Administration (FSA) and later the Office of War Information (OWI) between 1939 and 1944 and focus on rural areas and farm labor, and World War II mobilization, including factories, railroads, aviation training, and women working, and these records have some descriptive and subject information that's been carried over to Flickr. The other collection, New in the 1910s, are news photographs from the Bain News Service, taken in about 1910-1912, and there's minimal information for these.
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Library Flickr Favorites
There are thousands of library photographs on Flickr, some taken by librarians to show off their buildings and services or highlight their collections, some taken by members of the public. There are beautiful architectural shots, pictures of kids listening to stories, playing with puppets, or doing crafts. There are pictures of shelves of DVDs and displays of books, pictures taken outside the library looking in, and inside the library looking out, pictures of librarians and pictures of library cats, pictures of people studying and people sleeping. There are pictures of all types of libraries, all over the world.
In order to collect a variety of library photographs to use as examples in working with librarians using Flickr, I decided to start saving my favorites on del.icio.us, using the tag libraryflickrfaves. Feel free to look at my selection here : Library Flickr Faves
Chelmsford Public Library's Gingerbread Library
The staff of the Chelmsford Public Library participated in the The Gingerbread Express: A Train Runs Through It… a Gingerbread Village Display to Support Greater Lowell Habitat for Humanity. They created two buildings, the great, edible version of the original Adams Library shown here, and also the McKay Branch. The Gingerbread Village will be on display at All Saints' Episcopal Church in Chelmsford on December 1 and 2.
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Arizona Library Branch Organized Like a Bookstore
The hottest story in the library world right now may be Maricopa County Arizona's new Perry Branch, which is arranged according to BISAC Subject Headings, the same system used by bookstores (including Amazon, etc.). This has gotten a lot of attention in both the library world (lists, blogs, etc.) and beyond, including a piece on NPR called Arizona Library Shuns Dewey System. The discussion has been very interesting, with a mix of strong opinions, pro and con.
Whether our collections are organized according to Dewey, LC, or some other system, I do think most libraries need to work on ways to make it easier for users to walk in our doors and find what they're looking for as quickly and easily as possible. I think some of the frustrations with library catalogs (ours and everyone else's) are exacerbated by the fact that people need to use these systems way too often, far more often than they need to use the computers in the more browseable bookstores.
If someone walks into your library looking for the dog books or books about the Civil War or a book of Robert Frost's poetry or books on wallpapering or Linux or resumes or Renoir or Chinese, how do they do it? How long does this take, and how does their experience compare with doing these same tasks in the local Borders or Barnes and Noble?


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That's right MW2 devotees. The first map pack for Modern Warfare 2 will be coming to the Xbox 360 first thing on March 30th. Not much information was given in regards to specifics and details but rumors are citing 5 maps of the new and old variety. Old maps? Like from MW1? That doesn't sound cool. Given the price point ($10) on MW1′s 3 map package from 07′, I guess it seems fair.
While no price point has been set, the aforementioned surmise could be totally defeated once one does arrive, so we'll just have to wait and see. How about some new weapons and perks?
Activision laid mention to the the fact that the map pack will also make it to the PS3 and PC but failed to arrive on a date. Consider your package stimulated?


text:
RICHMOND, Va. (AP)- Former Republican Gov. Bob McDonnell says he is grateful for the ongoing support of his friends following his indictment on corruption charges.
McDonnell made his first public appearance Tuesday, and offered his most extensive remarks to the news media since the indictment in January. His wife, Maureen, was also indicted.
The former Republican governor visited a cook-off organized by former Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling and headlined by former GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney in a Richmond suburb. The event focused on promoting the campaign of U.S. Senate nominee Ed Gillespie.
McDonnell was warmly greeted by past supporters, many of whom waited in line to speak with the former governor or have pictures taken with him.
The McDonnells' trial is set for July.
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Watch this great behind-the-scenes video from the Super League Sport Relief photoshoot involving, among others, Paul Wellens, Michael Shenton, Ryan Hall, Rangi Chase, Josh Charnley and Eorl Crabtree.
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Jim Fair
Quick Lane Tire and Service Center at 13645 E. Wade Hampton Blvd. had its grand opening and ribbon cutting today.Share on Facebook | Share on Twitter | Share on LinkedIn
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