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Casey Kasem's daughter granted visitation
PORT ORCHARD, Wash. -- A Washington state judge has ordered that a daughter of ailing radio personality Casey Kasem be allowed to visit him.
The ruling Friday was the latest twist in an ongoing dispute between Kasem's wife, Jean, and her stepdaughter, Kerri Kasem over the care of her father.
Kerri Kasem has said in court filings that her father suffers from a form of dementia.
In Kitsap County Superior Court Friday, she said her father was suffering from bedsores along with lung and bladder infections.
Under the ruling, Kerri Kasem will be allowed daily visits for up to an hour and can have her father examined by a doctor.
The 82-year-old Casey Kasem has been staying with family friends west of Seattle.


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Transplant, also called graft or organ transplant, in medicine, a section of tissue or a complete organ that is removed from its original natural site and transferred to a new position in the same person or in a separate individual. The term, like the synonym graft, was borrowed from horticulture. Both words imply that success will result in a healthy and flourishing graft or transplant, which will gain its nourishment from its new environment.
Transplants and grafts
Transplants of animal tissue have figured prominently in mythology since the legend of the creation of Eve from one of Adam's ribs. Historical accounts of surgical tissue grafting as part of the cure of patients date back to the early Hindu surgeons who, about the beginning of the 6th century bce, developed techniques for reconstructing noses from skin flaps taken from the patient's arm. This method was introduced into Western medicine by Italian surgeon Gaspare Tagliacozzi in the 16th century. The flap was left attached to the arm for two to three weeks until new blood vessels had grown into it from the nose remnant. The flap was then severed and the arm freed from the reconstructed nose.
It was found that extremely thin pieces of skin could be cut free and would obtain enough nourishment from the serum in the graft bed to stay alive while new blood vessels were being formed. This free grafting of skin, together with the flap techniques already mentioned, constituted the main therapeutic devices of the plastic surgeon in the correction of various types of defects. Skilled manipulations of such grafts produced surprising improvements in the appearance of those born with malformed faces and in the disfigurements resulting from severe burns. Cornea, which structurally is a modified form of transparent skin, can also be free grafted, and corneal grafts have restored sight to countless blind eyes.
Blood transfusion can be regarded as a form of tissue graft. The blood-forming tissues—bone marrow cells—can also be transplanted. If these cells are injected into the bloodstream, they home to the marrow cavities and can become established as a vital lifesaving graft in patients suffering from defective marrow.
The chief distinguishing feature of organ and limb grafts is that the tissues of the organ or limb can survive only if blood vessels are rapidly joined (anastomosed) to blood vessels of the recipient. This provides the graft with a blood supply before it dies from lack of oxygen and nourishment and from the accumulation of poisonous waste products.
As can be seen from the examples cited, living-tissue grafts may be performed for a variety of reasons. Skin grafts can save life in severe burns, can improve function by correcting deformity, or can improve appearances in a cosmetic sense, with valuable psychological benefits. Organ grafts can supply a missing function and save life in cases of fatal disease of vital organs, such as the kidney.
A tissue removed from one part of the body and transplanted to another site in the same individual is called an autograft. Autografts cannot be rejected. Similarly, grafts between identical twins or highly inbred animals—isografts—are accepted by the recipients indefinitely. Grafts from a donor to a recipient of the same species—allografts or homografts—are usually rejected unless special efforts are made to prevent this. Grafts between individuals of different species—xenografts or heterografts—are usually destroyed very quickly by the recipient. (The methods used to prevent rejection are discussed in full below.)
Tissue or organ grafts may be transplanted to their normal situation in the recipient and are then known as orthotopic—for example, skin to the surface of the body. Alternatively, they may be transplanted to an abnormal situation and are then called heterotopic—for example, kidneys are usually grafted into the lower part of the abdomen instead of into the loin (the back between the ribs and the pelvis), as this is more convenient. If an extra organ is grafted, it is called auxiliary or accessory—for example, a heterotopic liver graft may be inserted without removal of the recipient's own liver.
Grafts are usually performed for long-term effects. Occasionally, the limited acceptance of a skin allograft may be lifesaving by preventing loss of fluid and protein from extensive burned surface in severely ill patients. The graft also provides a bacteria-proof covering so that infection cannot occur. When the allograft is removed or rejected, the patient may be sufficiently recovered to receive permanent autografts.
Certain tissues, including bone, cartilage, tendons, fascia, arteries, and heart valves, can be implanted even if their cells are dead at the time of implantation or will be rejected shortly thereafter. These are structural implants rather than true grafts or transplants. They are more akin to the stick to which a rose is attached for support—although their support is essential, their function does not depend on biological processes. In fact, xenografts or inert manufactured devices may often be equally suitable substitutes.
Tissue transplants
Most skin grafting is with autografts; the special indication for skin allografts in severely burned patients has been mentioned. Skin allografts seem to be rejected more aggressively than any other tissue, and there are many experimental situations in which skin grafts between two inbred strains of animal fail, although kidney grafts between the same strains survive indefinitely. With autografts, the donor skin is limited to what the patient has available. If allografts were not rejected, skin from cadavers could be used for coverage of burned areas without the need for subsequent autografting.
Flaps as used by Tagliacozzi are particularly valuable if adipose (fat) tissue as well as skin has been lost. This is because flaps are thicker than skin grafts; they consist of the full thickness of skin, with fascia and fat, or may also contain muscle. The procedure of raising a flap and keeping the donor site adjacent to the recipient bed can be complicated and uncomfortable for the patient. The cosmetic results are good, and the fat and other tissues under the skin contained in the flap can be used to cover exposed bone or to allow movement in a contracted joint or to fashion a new nose.
Full-thickness free-skin grafts
Full-thickness free-skin grafts, which include dermis and epidermis, are the maximum thickness that can survive without a blood supply; they are therefore in some danger of failure to survive. These grafts produce good cosmetic appearances and are especially useful on the face. The main defect of a full-thickness free-skin graft is that, unless it is very small, the donor site from which it comes becomes a defect that needs to be closed in its own right and may itself need skin grafting.
Split or partial-thickness skin grafts
Split, or partial-thickness, skin grafts are by far the most commonly used grafts in plastic surgery. Superficial slices of skin the thickness of tissue paper are cut with a hand or mechanical razor. The graft, which contains living cells, is so thin that it usually gains adequate nourishment directly from the raw surface to which it is applied, and the risk of failure to take (that is, to survive in the new location) is therefore much less than with full-thickness grafts. Another major advantage is that the donor site is not badly damaged. It is tender for only two or three weeks, and it resembles a superficial graze both in appearance and in the fact that healing takes place from the deep layer of the skin left behind. Split skin grafts can be taken quickly from large areas to cover big defects. They tend to have an abnormal shiny reddish appearance that is not as satisfactory cosmetically as the other types of skin graft.
Other tissue transplants
There are certain forms of blindness in which the eye is entirely normal apart from opacity of the front window, or cornea. The opacity may be the result of disease or injury, but, if the clouded cornea is removed and replaced by a corneal transplant, normal vision can result. Since cells of the cornea remain viable for some 12 hours after death, a cornea can be grafted if it is removed within that period. Cooling will slow the process of deterioration, although the sooner the section of cornea is transplanted the better. The graft bed to which a cornea is transplanted has no blood supply. Nourishment comes directly by diffusion from the tissues. Because most rejection factors are carried in the bloodstream, the lack of blood vessels permits most corneal allografts to survive indefinitely without rejection. Rejection can occur if, as sometimes happens, blood vessels grow into the graft.
Blood vessels
By far the most satisfactory blood-vessel transplant is an autograft, similar in principle to skin autografts. Blood-vessel grafts are frequently used to bypass arteries that have become blocked or dangerously narrowed by fatty deposits, a condition caused by degenerative atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries). Such atherosclerotic deposits in the coronary and carotid arteries are responsible, respectively, for most heart attacks and strokes. If atherosclerosis affects the main artery of the leg, the result is first pain in the calves and then gangrene of the foot, necessitating amputation of the leg. If dealt with early, the effects of the arterial blockage can often be overcome by removing a nonessential superficial vein from the leg, reversing it so that the valves will not obstruct blood flow, and then joining this graft to the affected artery above and below the block—thus bypassing the obstruction. Grafting for coronary artery bypass has become one of the most common surgical operations in developed countries.
Vein or arterial allografts are far less successful. In time the walls tend to degenerate, and the vessels either dilate, with the danger of bursting, or become obstructed.
Heart valves
Valvular diseases of the heart can be dangerous, since both a blocked valve and a valve that allows blood to leak backward create a strain on the heart that can lead to heart failure. If the valve is seriously damaged, it can be replaced with a xenograft valve or a manufactured mechanical valve. Neither is ideal. Xenograft valves have a normal central blood flow, but after a few years they may become rigid and cease to function. Plastic valves—usually of the ball-valve or trapdoor types—force blood to flow around the surface of the ball or trapdoor flap, and this tends to damage red blood cells and cause anemia. Synthetic heart valves require ongoing anticoagulation therapy.
When fractures fail to unite, autografts of bone can be extremely valuable in helping the bone to heal. Bone allografts can be used for similar purposes, but they are not as satisfactory, since the bone cells are either dead when grafted or are rejected. Thus, the graft is merely a structural scaffold that, although useful as such, cannot partake actively in healing.
Fascia, sheets of strong connective tissue that surround muscle bundles, may be used as autografts to repair hernias. The principle of use is like that for skin.
Nerves outside the brain and spinal cord can regenerate if damaged. If the delicate sheaths containing the nerves are cut, however, as must happen if a nerve is partially or completely severed, regeneration may not be possible. Even if regeneration occurs it is unlikely to be complete, since most nerves are mixed motor and sensory paths and there is no control ensuring that regenerating fibres take the correct path. Thus, there will always be some fibres that end in the wrong destination and are therefore unable to function. Defective nerve regeneration is the main reason why limb grafts usually are unsatisfactory. A mechanical artificial limb is likely to be of more value to the patient.
Blood transfusion has been one of the most important factors in the development of modern surgery. There are many lifesaving surgical procedures that are possible only because the blood loss inevitable in the operation can be made up by transfusion. Blood transfusion is of value in saving life following major injury, bleeding ulcers, childbirth, and many other conditions involving dangerous loss of blood. Purified blood components can be transfused to treat specific defects; for example, platelets are used to correct a low platelet count, and clotting factor VIII is given to counteract the clotting defect in classic hemophilia.
Bone marrow
Diseases in which the bone marrow is defective, such as aplastic anemia, may be treated by marrow grafting. Some forms of leukemia can be cured by destroying the patient's bone marrow—the site of the cancerous cells—with drugs and irradiation. Marrow grafting is then necessary to rescue the patient. There is a tendency for the patient to reject the allografted marrow, and there is an additional hazard because immune cells in a marrow graft can react against the patient's tissues, causing serious and sometimes fatal graft-versus-host disease. To avoid these complications, special immunosuppressive treatment is given. The use of monoclonal antibodies (see below Monoclonal antibodies) to selectively remove harmful lymphocytes from the donor marrow has produced encouraging results in preventing graft-versus-host disease.
Organ transplants
Organ transplants are, for a variety of reasons, more difficult to perform successfully than are most other grafts. Despite these difficulties, kidney transplant has become a routine operation in most developed countries. Heart and liver grafting have also become established, and promising results have been obtained with pancreas and combined heart–lung grafts.
The kidney
The surgery of kidney transplantation is straightforward, and the patient can be kept fit by dialysis with an artificial kidney before and after the operation. The kidney was the first organ to be transplanted successfully in humans, and experience is now considerable. Effective methods of preventing graft rejection have been available since the 1960s.
Fatal kidney disease is relatively common in young people. When there is deterioration of kidney function, eventually, despite all conventional treatment, the patient becomes extremely weak and anemic. Fluid collects in the tissues, producing swelling, known as edema, because the kidneys cannot remove excess water. Fluid in the lungs may cause difficulty in breathing and puts an excessive strain on the heart, which may already be suffering from the effects of high blood pressure as a result of kidney failure.
Waste products that cannot be removed from the body can cause inflammation of the coverings of the heart and the linings of the stomach and colon. As a result, there may be pain in the chest, inflammation of the stomach leading to distressing vomiting, and diarrhea from the colitis. The nerves running to the limbs may be damaged, resulting in paralysis. Treatment with the artificial kidney followed by kidney grafting can eliminate all these symptoms and has a good chance of permitting the dying person to return to a normal existence. Unfortunately, in most countries only a minority of patients receive this treatment because of a shortage of donor kidneys.
Artificial kidney treatment lasting about three to four hours, two to three times a week, removes all the features of kidney failure in one to two months. The patient then is able to leave the hospital and can be assessed as to suitability for a transplant. As has been mentioned, the kidney graft is heterotopic. The diseased kidneys are left in place, unless their continued presence is likely to impair the patient's health after a successful graft.
Transplantation and postoperative care
The patient may receive a kidney from a live donor or a dead one. Cadaver kidneys may not function immediately after transplantation, and further treatment with the artificial kidney may be required for two to three weeks while damage in the transplanted kidney is repaired. The patient is given drugs that depress immune responses and prevent the graft from being rejected. Immediately after the operation, for the first week or two, every effort is made to keep the patient from contact with bacteria that might cause infection. The patient is usually nursed in a separate room, and doctors and nurses entering the room take care to wear masks and wash their hands before touching the patient. The air of the room is purified by filtration. Close relatives are allowed to visit the patient, but they are required to take the same precautions. When stitches have been removed, the patient is encouraged to get up as much as possible and to be active, but, in the first four months after the operation, careful surveillance is necessary to make sure that the patient is not rejecting the graft or developing an infection. The patient may be discharged from the hospital within a few weeks of the operation, but frequent return visits are necessary for medical examination and biochemical estimations of the blood constituents, to determine the state of function of the graft, and to make sure that the drugs are not causing side effects. Each patient requires a carefully adjusted dose of the immunosuppressive drugs that prevent transplant rejection.
Once the dosage of immunosuppressive drugs is stabilized, patients are encouraged to go back to a normal existence and return to work. The only restrictions are that they must continue to take their drugs and make frequent visits to the outpatient department for surveillance. Patients can return even to heavy work, such as driving a bulldozer, but more often a relatively light job is preferable. Women can bear children after a transplant, and men can become fathers. The course of events is not always so happy, unfortunately. If the patient rejects the kidney or develops a serious infection, it may be necessary to remove the graft and stop administration of the immunosuppressive drugs. The patient must then return to regular maintenance treatment with an artificial kidney but may receive a second or even a third graft.
Data on kidney transplant results
In kidney grafts involving identical twins, in which case rejection is not a problem, recipients have survived more than 25 years. A number of patients who have received kidneys from unrelated cadaver donors have survived more than 20 years, demonstrating that in some patients rejection can be controlled with standard immunosuppressive drugs. There has been a gradual improvement in the overall results of kidney transplants. The patient mortality has declined to around 10 percent per year, death usually being due to infection associated with immunosuppressive treatment; to complications of dialysis in patients whose kidneys have failed; or to other facets of kidney disease, such as high blood pressure and coronary artery disease. Recipients also face an increased risk of developing malignant growths, particularly lymphomas (malignant diseases of the lymphatic system). One cause of this may be related to the effects of immunosuppressive treatment. Kidney graft survival has improved since the introduction of the immunosuppressive agent cyclosporine (also called cyclosporin A), and many centres have achieved a one-year survival rate of about 96 percent and a five-year rate of about 80 percent for patients with a functioning kidney graft from an unrelated cadaver donor. One-year survival rates of 90 to 95 percent have been attained for kidney grafts from well-matched living donors. Thus, the patient who develops permanent kidney failure has a reasonable chance of successful treatment from a combination of dialysis and kidney transplantation. Those fortunate enough to receive a well-functioning kidney can expect complete rehabilitation.
The heart
The heart is a pump with a built-in power supply; it has a delicate regulatory mechanism that permits it to perform efficiently under a wide range of demands. During moments of fear or intense exercise, the heart rate increases greatly, and the contractions become more forceful. Cessation of the heartbeat has been, throughout the ages, the cardinal sign of death. Thus, it is perhaps not so surprising that there was an intense public interest when the first attempts were made at transplanting a human heart. The objectives of heart transplantation, nevertheless, are the same as those of other organ grafts.
One of the most important advances in surgery after World War II was in direct operations on the heart. Heart valves are repaired or replaced with artificial valves, and techniques have been developed so that the heart can be stopped and its function taken over temporarily by an electrical pump. If, however, the muscle of the heart is destroyed, as occurs in certain diseases, the only operation that can cure the patient is to replace the heart with a graft or possibly an artificial heart. Blockage of the coronary arteries and certain other heart muscle diseases can kill the patient because the muscle of the heart cannot contract properly. A patient with one of these diseases who is close to dying is, therefore, a possible recipient for a heart transplant.
A group of American investigators perfected the technique of heart transplantation in the late 1950s. They showed that a transplanted dog's heart could provide the animal with a normal circulation until the heart was rejected. The features of rejection of the heart are similar to those of the kidney. The cells that produce immune reactions, the lymphocytes, migrate into the muscle cells of the heart, damage it, and also block the coronary arteries, depriving the heart of its own circulation. Some of the lymphocytes (i.e., B cells) also secrete antibodies that are toxic. In most experiments it was more difficult to prevent rejection of the heart than of the kidney. Despite this, rejection was prevented for long periods in animals. Based on this experimental work, the next step was to transplant a human heart into a patient dying of incurable heart disease. This step was taken in 1967 by a surgical team in Cape Town, South Africa.
In the years immediately following the first transplant, numerous heart allografts were performed at medical centres throughout the world. Unfortunately, many recipients succumbed to rejection of the transplanted organ. Furthermore, the heart is more sensitive to lack of blood than the kidneys are; it must be removed from the donor more quickly and can be preserved without damage for only a short period of time. Because of these difficulties—particularly the problem of rejection—the number of heart transplants performed worldwide dropped considerably after the initial excitement abated. Steady advances in detecting and treating rejection were made throughout the 1970s, however, and the introduction of the immunosuppressant cyclosporine in the 1980s brought even further improvements in the long-term survival rates for heart graft recipients. Interest in the procedure revived, and numerous heart transplants were performed. A number of patients have lived five or more years after the operation, and heart grafting has become an accepted therapy for otherwise incurable heart disease. Experimental artificial hearts have also been implanted, but these require an external power supply and long-term survival rates are not known.
The liver
The liver is a complicated organ that produces clotting factors and many other vital substances in the blood and that removes many wastes and toxic by-products from the circulation. It is, in effect, a chemical factory. The two categories of fatal liver disease that may be treated by liver grafting are nonmalignant destructive diseases of the liver cells—for example, cirrhosis—and primary liver cancer affecting either the main liver cells or the bile ducts. The liver is extremely sensitive to lack of blood supply and must be cooled within 15 minutes of the death of the donor. The operation can be difficult, since the liver is rather large and of complex structure. Both its removal from the cadaver and its grafting into the recipient are major surgical operations. The operation is more difficult in humans than in animals—particularly, the removal of the diseased liver from the recipient. This may be much enlarged and adherent to surrounding structures so that its removal may result in serious bleeding. Once transplanted, the liver must function immediately or the patient will die. There is no treatment available that is comparable to the use of the artificial kidney for kidney disease. If the liver functions well immediately after transplantation, the rest of the management is similar to that followed in kidney operations, and the same drugs are given. Many early liver transplantation operations failed, but an increasing number have successfully restored dying patients to normal existence. Children do especially well following liver transplantation. The commonest fatal liver disease in childhood is a congenital deficiency of bile ducts called biliary atresia. Several centres have obtained an 80 to 90 percent one-year survival in children after liver grafting, although up to 25 percent of these patients may require retransplantation because of failure of the first graft.
The lung
Chronic fatal disease of the lung is common, but the progress of the disease is usually slow, and the patient may be ill for a long time. When the lung eventually fails, the patient is likely to be unfit for a general anesthetic and an operation. The function of the lung is to allow exchange of gases between the blood and the air. The gas passes through an extremely fine membrane lining the air spaces. This exposure to air makes the lungs susceptible to infection, more so than any other organs that have been grafted. It is consequently not surprising that infection has caused failure of many lung transplants. Even a mild rejection reaction can severely damage the gas-exchange membrane, and the patient may die before the rejection is reversed. The actual ventilation of the lungs by rhythmic breathing is a complicated movement controlled by nerves connecting the brain to the lungs and to the muscles that produce the breathing. Cutting the nerves can interfere with the rhythmicity of breathing, and this may be an important cause of the difficulties of successfully transplanting both lungs. Nevertheless, these difficulties have been overcome. If only one lung is transplanted, however, the patient's own diseased lung may interfere with the function of the graft by robbing it of air and directing too much blood into the graft. Further progress may depend on a safer, more perfect control of rejection.
The heart and lungs
The technique of transplanting the heart and both lungs as a functioning unit was developed in animal experiments at Stanford Medical Center in California. Despite the technical feasibility of the operation, rejection could not be controlled by conventional immunosuppression. With the availability of cyclosporine, researchers were able to obtain long-term survivors with combined heart–lung transplants in primate species. Applications to human patients have been remarkably successful. Approximately two-thirds of the patients who initially received transplants at Stanford survived. Other centres subsequently adopted this form of treatment for patients with severe lung fibrosis and failure of the right side of the heart, which pumps blood into the lungs. Unfortunately, many organ donors have been maintained on ventilators, a process that frequently leads to lung infections; as a consequence, the availability of donor heart–lung units is quite limited. Furthermore, the lungs are vulnerable to damage from lack of blood, and so transplantation must be performed expeditiously.
The pancreas
The pancreas consists of two kinds of tissues: endocrine and exocrine. The latter produces pancreatic juice, a combination of digestive enzymes that empty via a duct into the small intestine. The endocrine tissue of the pancreas—the islets of Langerhans—secrete the hormones insulin and glucagon into the bloodstream. These hormones are vital to the regulation of carbohydrate metabolism and exert wide-ranging effects on the growth and maintenance of body tissues. Insufficient insulin production results in type 1 diabetes mellitus, a disease that is fatal without daily injections of insulin. Even with insulin therapy, many diabetics suffer kidney failure and blindness due to the disease's effects on the small blood vessels. A pancreas transplant can potentially prevent the progression of these complications.
Much effort has been devoted to removing the islets of Langerhans from the pancreas with a view to grafting the separated islets or even the isolated insulin-producing beta cells. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to obtain sufficient islets from the fibrotic human pancreas, and it appears that isolated islets are highly susceptible to rejection. A number of clinical attempts at islet grafting have been made.
Transplanting the vascularized pancreas has been more encouraging. It is customary to graft the body and tail of the pancreas; that is, half the pancreas is transplanted, using the splenic artery and vein for vascular anastomosis. One of the difficulties with this procedure has been dealing with the digestive juice produced by the transplanted pancreas. A further complicating factor has been the fact that corticosteroids—frequently used for immunosuppression in transplant patients—aggravate diabetes. The availability of cyclosporine permitted the avoidance of corticosteroids. Later, triple-drug immunosuppression, using cyclosporine, tacrolimus, and mycophenolate mofetil, was introduced.
Pancreas transplantation is particularly attractive when a patient with diabetic kidney failure can receive a kidney and pancreas graft from the same donor. A technique with encouraging early results has been to insert the pancreas graft very close to the patient's own pancreas in the so-called paratopic position. This allows drainage of insulin directly into the liver, while the pancreatic juice is diverted into the stomach, where the digestive enzymes are inhibited by stomach acid. It is certainly most gratifying to patients who have been undergoing regular dialysis and taking insulin to be free from both these onerous treatments and to be permitted to eat and drink without restriction. The five-year functional survival rate for pancreas transplant is about 90 percent. It is of interest that the vascularized pancreas probably is less susceptible to rejection than the kidney.
The uterus
Women with a diseased or malformed uterus or an absent uterus are unable to bear children. Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome (MRKH; also called Müllerian agenesis), characterized by underdevelopment or absence of the vagina and uterus, occurs in about 1 in 4,500 girls at birth. Women with MRKH cannot carry a pregnancy, though those who have functioning ovaries may choose in vitro fertilization (IVF) with use of a surrogate mother for gestation. However, researchers have explored techniques for uterus transplant as a means of enabling pregnancy in MRKH patients with functional ovaries. The first successful birth of an infant to a uterus transplant recipient, using a uterus from a living donor, occurred in 2014. Four years later the first live birth from a deceased donor uterus was reported.
In uterus transplantation with intended pregnancy, the recipient must first undergo IVF to produce embryos, which are then subjected to cryopreservation. The embryos are later transferred to the mother's uterus once successful transplantation has been established.


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Research article for publication. Subject : Chemistry
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text:
by Terry Winder
Part I
I will always be grateful that the phone call from our daughter-in-law came first, before the two Army officers came in their government car.
I can't imagine how it must feel to open one's door and just find them standing there: total strangers with such devastating news. I've wondered how it must be from their end, the assignment of carrying a death report to a soldier's family.
It didn't seem real, at first; surely it was a mistake. It was as though we were in a play and everyone else knew their lines, but I did not. I was a walk-on part, an impromptu actor.
I tried to respond appropriately, but I felt so unsure of myself. People were coming, all expressing themselves so perfectly. They seemed to understand what I could not yet believe. Perhaps it was just a dream; but I was unable to sleep, so how could that be?
When I did finally doze off I was awakened by the sound of sobbing. It was my husband, the man who never cries.
Part of my denial came from my attempt to understand why. There is a need for logic in our lives. Nathan had graduated as a medic just 16 months earlier. He was valuable not only to his fellow soldiers, but to the Iraqi people.
He was a dedicated soldier. Surely he was needed in this war against evil. Why hadn't he been protected from the sniper's bullet?
The questions kept nagging at me, and I directed them towards my Heavenly Father in thought, without really waiting for an answer.
Still, there were light threads being woven into the darkness of those days. Late the second night my daughter, Alex, turned to me. "Mom, every person who has come to visit has asked, 'What can we do for you?'. The next person who asks that, please tell them, 'Bring Alex cinnamon rolls'."
Early the next morning the doorbell rang, and there stood Holly Walker with a large pan of freshly baked cinnamon rolls. "You must have been in tune with the Spirit," I told her, as delighted children took the homemade rolls into the kitchen.
Shortly after, Alex and I went to my son's house to access the internet. I hadn't done my grocery shopping for the week; and hadn't eaten for two days.
As we passed the grocery store I commented, "Orange juice sounds good, and it's on sale this week. So is cantaloupe. On our way home, let's stop and get some, okay?"
I really didn't want to go into the store, though, not with my red, puffy eyes; and so when I got a telephone call saying we were needed at home, we passed the store again with just a twinge of regret.
We had not been home more than 30 minutes when a knock came and Helen Hurst was at our door. As we greeted each other with a hug, she held out a grocery sack. "I feel rather silly bringing this," she explained, "but it was what I had on hand."
As I opened the sack, I found it contained a cantaloupe and a can of frozen orange juice.
It was at that moment that I realized God was speaking to me through his servants. And I knew that if He cared so much about the small and simple things in our lives, then surely I could trust Him with the big things.
(Part I of II)


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Newcomers the Henningsens Make Huge Debut at Country Radio
Arista Nashville has a new artist on the block, and they've already been debuted on more than 70 radio stations -- and growing. The family band calls themselves the Henningsens, and their first single 'American Beautiful' received a combined 77 Country Aircheck and Billboard radio adds last week.
If that number doesn't mean anything to you, allow us to put it in perspective: That number gives 'American Beautiful' the most first-week adds of any debut single in Country Aircheck history. Also, the Henningsens scored the highest impact-week add total for any group since 1999.
'American Beautiful' is the title track from the Henningsens debut album. The fast-tempo song starts out by telling the story of an all-American girl who loves her boots and bandana -- and the Rolling Stones. It seems like it's going to be another country tune about the beautiful girl next door, but the second verse introduces another type of American in a guy with a mixed background who falls in love with the girl. As a pair, the two are a little bit unusual, but that's what makes them 'American Beautiful.'
The trio is comprised of Brian Henningsen on bass, guitar and vocals; his son Aaron on guitar and vocals; and his daughter Clara on lead vocals and guitar. On February 2, the family band will make their Grand Ole Opry debut.
With a record-breaking radio debut, fans should expect to hear a lot more about this family trio!


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PITTSBURGH -- Tom Brady cut out the Pittsburgh Steelers' heart once again.
And he got help from Duron Harmon.
Brady led the New England Patriots to the winning touchdown with 56 seconds left that gave his club a 27-24 win over the Steelers, ruining Pittsburgh's chance to clinch a first-round playoff bye and potentially homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.
The game was marred by a calf injury suffered in the first half by Steelers receiver Antonio Brown, who was taken to a hospital for further examination and treatment.
Brady led the Patriots to a touchdown scored by Dion Lewis on an eight-yard run that capped a 77-yard drive in 1:10 to complete a rally from a 24-16 deficit.
But the Steelers came right back on a 69-yard catch-and-run by rookie JuJu Smith-Schuster. He gave the Steelers the ball at the New England 10 with 34 seconds left.
Tight end Jesse James appeared to have scored the go-ahead touchdown, but his 10-yard reception was reviewed and James was ruled to have not completed the catch. The ball came loose when he impacted the ground.
Ben Roethlisberger scrambled to give the Steelers two more chances at winning the game, but his final pass was deflected by Eric Rowe and intercepted by Harmon in the end zone with five seconds left.
Vince Williams had made the Steelers' defensive play of the game that helped turn a one-point lead into an eight-point lead in the fourth quarter. The linebacker's interception of Brady's third-and-2 pass to Rob Gronkowski gave the Steelers the ball at the New England 22.
Le'Veon Bell gave the Steelers a 24-16 lead with a 3-yard touchdown run behind a pulling David DeCastro with 1:33 left in the third.
Stephen Gostkowski kicked a 46-yard field goal with 3:56 remaining to cut into the deficit and fate did the rest.
The Steelers hoped this was the game they could hurdle the Patriots, but New England extinguished the Steelers' hope for a quick start by scoring the game's first touchdown.
A pair of play-action fakes by Brady in the backfield allowed Brandin Cooks to get open for a 43-yard completion on the Patriots' first possession. Two plays later, Rex Burkhead ran through right guard for a 1-yard touchdown and early 7-0 lead.
The Steelers answered with a touchdown, thanks to a couple of third-down catch-and-runs by Brown and Smith-Schuster. The catches set up Roethlisberger's 18-yard touchdown pass to Eli Rogers to tie the game 7-7 with 3:28 left in the opening quarter.
The Steelers jumped to a 10-7 lead on a 51-yard Chris Boswell early in the second quarter, but at a high cost. Brown injured his left calf in the end zone two plays before the field goal and was helped off the field.
Gostkowski tied the score at 10-10 with a 32-yard field goal at 9:04 of the second. The kick was set up by a 31-yard Brady pass to Gronkowski while the Steelers had only 10 men on the field.
The Steelers put together a long 8:39 drive to finish the half with a 17-10 lead. Roethlisberger finished the drive with a 4-yard pass to Martavis Bryant, who ran under the spot pass and made a one-handed catch in the end zone.
Brady took the Patriots in for a touchdown to open the second half. His third-down pass to Cooks delivered a four-yard touchdown, but Gostkowski missed the extra point and the Steelers clung to a 17-16 led with 8:50 left in the third. The wild fourth quarter followed to put the Patriots in the driver's seat for the No. 1 seed in the AFC.
NOTES: Pittsburgh LB Ryan Shazier was at the game in a luxury suite. He was shown on the Jumbotron waving a Terrible Towel as the Patriots took the field for their first possession. ... Steelers rookie CB Cameron Sutton started for the first time in his career as Joe Haden was deactivated. ... DE Cameron Heyward's first-quarter sack was his 10th of the season, the first Steelers defensive lineman since Keith Willis in (12 in 1986) to record double-digit sacks in a season. ... With his first catch, WR Antonio Brown became the first player in NFL history with five consecutive 100-reception seasons. ... WR Kenny Britt made his first catch with the Patriots in the second quarter, a seven-yarder. New England recently signed Britt after he was released by the Cleveland Browns. ... Patriots RB Rex Burkhead was helped from the field after a knee injury on a carry near the goal line early in the third quarter. ... The Steelers lost a running back with a sprained knee when rookie James Conner was helped off the field with 9:41 left.


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So . . . Keep an eye out for a video blog I'll be posting later today, but in the mean time, someone asked me to repost a piece I had published in Good Men Project on Change From Within, so here 'tis:
Listening is the Root of Justice
Reflections on Listening, Privilege, and Twitter Conversations
Talking about identity, power, privilege, and oppression are hard enough when we have unlimited characters in which to conduct the discussion. In turn, why so many (including myself) decide to have these tough conversations over Twitter is beyond me, but it happens. Recently a highly-publicized conversation took place on Twitter between The Good Men Project founder Tom Matlack and some feminist and anti-racist women and men concerning the language and perspectives Tom had taken in some pieces here on GMP.
The majority of the conversation related to feminism, male privilege, and the concept of being a male ally, and the conversation inspired such controversy, that much publishing has been done in its wake (see here, here, here, and here as a place to start). However, a small strain of the conversation related to a comparison Tom made between black men being overrepresented in prisons and a piece Hugo Schwyzer published explaining why it's understandable for men to be "guilty until proven innocent" when it comes to rape.
Race scholar Sarah Jackson took issue with his comparison and tried to engage in a discussion with him about why the analogy is problematic.
If there's anything we White folks are good at, it's getting defensive when we think we're being called racist, and we're especially good at getting defensive when we're told that we may, in fact, be benefitting from White Privilege.
In reading through the Twitter conversation, I had to stop here for a minute because this hit a little too close to home. In my attempts to become an ally to Women, People of Color, LGBTQ folks, and other traditionally-marginalized identities, I've definitely messed up – A Lot. One of the hardest things for me in attempting to build ally relationships, then, has been to hear that I've messed up and not simply get defensive and retreat into my privilege.
A professor of Color in college once told me, "The best thing you can learn to do if you want to be an ally is realize that you're going to fuck up, and you're going to do it a lot, so you will need to learn to apologize with honesty and a true desire to change. Then don't get hung up . . . move forward and do better."
At this point in the Twitter conversation, that's what I was hoping to hear from a man I greatly respect, but instead, Tom dug in:
From there, the conversation about race in the Twitter feed mostly stops, but the conversation about feminism and male allies has continued for quite some time in many mediums and contexts.
What I haven't seen addressed widely, though, is the ways that Whiteness and privilege clouded what should have been an otherwise cut and dry issue. It could have ended like this:
Sarah: "That language is hurtful and spurious."
Tom: "Wow . . . I can see where you're coming from, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make such a problematic comparison. Consider it recanted."
Now, let me be clear. I am not writing this piece to further attack Tom Matlack. Instead, I see this conversation as an incredible growth point for talking about listening and privilege.
In A Language Older Than Words, Derrick Jensen discusses the dominant culture of destruction that allows genocide, starvation, rape, and so many more atrocities by saying, "Silencing is central to the workings of our culture. The staunch refusal to hear the voices of those we exploit is crucial to our domination of them."
I was raised into a culture where I benefit from a great many privileges. I am Cis-Male, White, Straight, and Able-Bodied, and I come from a family of wealth privilege. In the words of Louis CK, "How many advantages can one person have!?" With those advantages comes a little voice that tells me that I am always right, that I am above reproach, that I have power and deserve power.
As such, I've done a lot of silencing in my life, but most of it wasn't active. I haven't necessarily talked over someone or shouted someone down. Instead, I've resorted to one of my most powerful weapons as a person of privilege: my refusal to listen.
As White folks, we're taught that we shouldn't listen to voices of Color. After all, if we did, we wouldn't need study after study to prove that racism is real and that we don't live in a "post-racial" society. We would simply be able to hear it in the stories and voices of those of Color that must live in our very-racialized society every single day.
In his piece resigning from The Good Men Project, Hugo Schwyzer put it this way, "Power conceals itself from those who possess it. And the corollary is that privilege is revealed more clearly to those who don't have it." As a person of privilege, I know that I cannot see all of the ways that my identity silences other voices, and I cannot see the ways that my privilege works to empower me while disempowering others.
Thus, when criticized for my language, the space I am taking up, or for the ways in which my actions reveal my privilege, my first response needs to be to listen. No matter how defensive that statement makes me, I need to listen. No matter how much I would like to retort with a story about how I'm not as privileged as the other is assuming, I need to listen.
Listening is the root of justice.
It is notable in his conversation with Sarah that Tom was never called a racist. Sarah points out something very important (excuse my translation from character-saving-speak): "It is possible for people not to be racist and still be capable of saying less-than-accurate/sensitive things regarding race."
I don't know Tom's character, so I can't say whether or not he, in the core of his being, is a racist, but I don't think that matters in the conversation. To pull the "BUT I'M NOT A RACIST!!!!!" defense (as we White folks so often do) effectively diverts the conversation from the problematic nature of what was said to a conversation about whether the person who said it believes they are racist, a perhaps interesting but otherwise relatively pointless conversation that the White person should really just be having with themselves.
I love the way that Jay Smooth from Ill Doctrine puts it when he says we need to avoid the "what they are" conversation and, instead, focus on the "what they did" conversation. If what I said was hurtful and spurious (and I agree with Sarah that what Tom said was pretty darn spurious and problematic), "we don't need to see inside [my] soul to know that [I] should not have said all that."
Rather than finding it "demeaning" when folks of Color (or other White folks) try to tell me how my comments or actions made them feel or may have been problematic, I need to realize that this is an incredible opportunity to listen and self reflect.
In the end, though, we have to realize that listening is only the beginning. It is the beginning of a life-long process of critical self-reflection, reflection regarding our thoughts, actions, and words. We must be willing to hold ourselves to the highest standards and ask ourselves, "Do my actions align with my anti-racist values?" If not, we need to work to change. Perhaps my greatest privilege as a White person is my ability to walk through this life and never self reflect and never listen. But I must choose to listen and to follow those truths to their ends, even if those ends mean I must change the way I live.
After all, the worst thing that can happen is that I can learn that there is work to be done and, in the words of my professor, "apologize with honesty and a true desire to change, move forward, and do better."
Maybe one place I can start is to read up on the two pieces Sarah linked Tom to in their conversation:
"Why I Don't Want to Talk About Race" by Steve Locke
"Why I Want to Talk About Race, and Why You Should, Too" by Sarah J. Jackson


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Rejoice, America, for we finally have our soccer savior. He's 11. His name is Joshua.
Joshua Pynadath's moving from the Bay Area in California to Madrid, Spain at the end of the month to join Real Madrid's youth Alevín A team for the upcoming season. He's the first American ever accepted to Real Madrid's academy.
Pynadath first caught Real Madrid's attention when youth scouts saw his highlight video last year. They invited him on a trial during the week of Thanksgiving, and obviously he killed. He played so well that Real Madrid invited him to a second extended trial this spring, and FC Barcelona even offered him a tryout. In the end though, the prodigy decided to follow his idol, Cristiano Ronaldo, and sign with Los Blancos.
The United States of America are now a virtual lock to win the 2026 World Cup. If Pynadath gets some help up front, 2022 could also be a possibility, as well. Don't tread.
h/t to Russ


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For more information, visit www.GasBadge.com.
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Police say a pregnant woman died Tuesday afternoon after being stabbed in the chest. Officers confirm Celestia Duffin, 32, and her baby, Keagan Herring, died at a Fort Smith hospital. Duffin's husband, James Herring, 32, faces a first degree murder charge.
"She's not just someone or something and neither was that baby," said Kari Coffman, a friend, "She is Celestia and she will always be my sister and always be my friend."
Fort Smith police say Duffin was about six and half months pregnant. Doctors delivered the baby at the hospital. Officers confirm both did not make it. "She was very very excited to find out what the baby was and to get ready to have that baby," said Coffman.
Coffman saw Duffin last week. They have been friends for more than a decade. "She was fun to be around. She always made me laugh," said Coffman.
Officers arrested James Herring Tuesday afternoon. Investigators say he allegedly stabbed Duffin in the chest while she was behind the wheel. Investigators say the pregnant mother arrived at the Fort Smith Police Department and collapsed in the lobby after crashing their car.
Officers say the couple had only been married a week. Police say the husband told them he was not happy with their relationship. "I don't understand why he thought because the marriage was bad he had to do that. That's ridiculous," said Coffman.
Investigators say Duffin leaves behind a 6-year-old son. "Her son and my daughter played all the time," said Coffman, "That boy was the light of her life."
Police say the bodies of mom and baby will both be sent to the Arkansas State Crime Lab for autopsies.


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KPSU will soon become the only college FM radio station in the Portland metro area if students can raise enough money. Currently only accessible on campus or online, the student-run radio station wants to apply for an FM signal becoming available to non-profits.
"With roughly 30,000 students of diverse backgrounds and countless alumni in the Portland area, we believe we can make an important contribution to the public dialogue," said James Turk, station manager at KPSU. "This is the first time in 10 years that these signals have been available to organizations such as us and we don't want to miss this chance."
The Low Power FM (LPFM) is a 100 watt signal with a broadcast radius of up to five miles. The signals became available after President Obama signed the Local Community Radio Act into law in. The Act places an emphasis on the need for Local, Non Profit, and Educational community radio stations to exist in order to foster the diversity of voices and opinions necessary for a robust democracy.
KPSU is a commercial free, non-profit, free format student-run radio station that has been broadcasting since 1994 supports a full spectrum of opinions, ideas and musical tastes. Their goal is to share the unique voice and experiences of students at PSU with people of all ages living in the Portland metro area.
"Our student volunteers and the programming they create are continuously amazing, but without a traditional citywide signal it has been difficult to reach new listeners," said Turk.
KPSU is hosting a series of concerts and events from April 22nd to May 10th called "Radio Revival" in an effort to raise funds and awareness to acquire the signal and purchase equipment. The event calendar is available at: http://www.kpsu.org/radiorevival.


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Classic Stampington & Company, The da Vinci Collection, Cathedral, Approx. 4 x 3", Unmounted
Stampington & Company unveils magnificent old world designs from the works of Leonardo da Vinci. Reflecting the diversity of one of history's most prolific artists, the collection offers images of architecture, animals, the human form, nature studies, and six hauntingly beautiful women. The da Vinci Collection offers a rich layer of history and opulence to your art.
- Product Code: UR3140
- Availability: Out Of Stock


text: Print ion abundances and heating and cooling rates in an ascii fits file. For each ion with fractional abundance (relative to its parent element) greater than 10 the following information is printed: ion index, ion name, fractional abundance (relative to the relevant elemental abundance), abundance (relative to the total hydrogen abundance), and that ion's contributions to heating and cooling rates (in erg cm s). The elements are ordered by increasing nuclear charge, ions by increasing free charge. Also printed are the Compton and total heating rates, and bremsstrahlung, Compton, and total cooling rates (in erg cm s). This information is saved at every spatial zone and printed out when the model is complete. A second extension onto this file contains the column densities of the ions at the completion of the model.


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Andrew Stewart | Manager, Corporate Communications
Welcome back to Friday Feature, IMAX fans!
For this week's post, I chose to focus on an exciting new documentary project titled Asteroid Impact, from director W.D. Hogan and our very own Phil Groves (pictured above), who wrote and will produce the project for IMAX.
As many of you know, IMAX has a rich history with space documentaries—from Blue Planet (1990) and Space Station 3D (2002) to this year's inspirational film, A Beautiful Planet.
Asteroid Impact, which marks the first completely funded brand-new documentary film from the IMAX Original Film Fund, fits perfectly within that space legacy.
"Asteroid Impact has been a passion project of mine for many years, one that benefited from a culture of creativity and entrepreneurship fostered here at IMAX—a company I have called home for 13 years," Groves said. "The film will be a truly unique, thrilling experience mapping the story of asteroids and their place in our universe."
As part of the announcement, IMAX co-hosted with Chinese film and TV investment and production company, Huahuang Pictures, an international signing ceremony commemorating the two companies' 50/50 joint financing deal of Asteroid Impact.
Asteroid Impact, which will be captured with IMAX® cameras, will reveal the origins of asteroids and the effects of previous Earth impacts, delve into the threat these celestial masses pose to our planet today, and examine how we monitor their trajectory in order to stay out of their deadly path.
Through a tour of the Solar System and a close look at the "city-buster" asteroid—Apophis—this new IMAX documentary will tell you everything about the massive space rocks that shape our Solar System through amazing and devastating collisions.
Asteroid Impact is slated for release in IMAX® theatres Spring 2018.
Stay tuned for more exciting space news from IMAX!


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Steve Peckham
Ryan Rocha
Steve Egbert
Have you ever thought of running the Dusy Ershim Trail, but never had enough time to do it? We have the answer. The scenic Swamp Lake Trail offers the same beautiful scenery. If you think the Swamp Lake Trail is too difficult, we have the scenic beauty of the Bald Mountain Trail with spectacular views of Shaver Lake.
All runs stage at Bald Mountain base camp, which is reached by a paved road accessible by motorhomes and fifth wheels and offers plenty of camping. Saturday night will feature a raffle and dinner.
Saturday morning up to fifty rigs will head out for the Bald Mountain Extreme Run. The Swamp Lake Run will leave on Sunday morning. It's a challenging trail that climbs to over 9,000 feet and offers awe-inspiring views of the Sierras including Mount Whitney, Grouse Lake and old mining operations. Squeeze Rock, Rooster Rock, the rock garden and Blast Rock are just some of the problems that drivers and spotters must negotiate over the fifteen-mile loop trail. Full size rigs can negotiate the trail if the driver is skilled and can accept body damage. A locker, 33-inch tires, front and rear tow points, and other usual Cal4Wheel safety items are required. A winch is strongly recommended. The regular Bald Mountain run also leaves Sunday morning, and will be UTV friendly.
If you have a new rig, are a new driver, or you just want to try off-roading for the first time, Bald Mountain trail offers challenges and scenery that are still fun, but less stressful than the Swamp Lake trail. The Bald Mountain Lookout offers breathtaking views of Shaver Lake and the Central Valley. Hollywood Hill, Vee Rock, and Shale Hill are thrilling, but less likely to result in scratched body panels. There are other nearby trails that individuals can run on their own on Saturday or Sunday. Bald Mountain will be run on Saturday and Sunday as well if there is enough interest for a second run.
The Central District is pleased to sponsor this Cal4Wheel fund raiser and we hope that more wheelers will make this part of their Labor Day plans. We are experiencing growth in the number of participants and volunteers. Since the Swamp Lake Run is limited to fifty rigs, be sure to sign up early if you are interested in this run. We will have on-site registration, but our hosts, the High Sierra Ranger District of the Sierra National Forest, is very committed to protecting these trails for all to enjoy in the future.


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Welcome to the first edition of Guysourcing, where a panel of helpful gentlemen answer and your questions. This week, we're starting with sexuality — specifically, if a dude identifies with a specific orientation, when and how did that come about?
And now the good part: the guys answer.
Early bloomer
My mom actually knew I was a heterosexual much before I did. I had a bad habit of putting my hands in my pants when I was a toddler — front and back. But whenever I saw a stunningly beautiful lady, I would reach up and tug on my mother's arm with my free hand and point at the lady in question. My occupied hand was always in the front by the time she figured out what I was pointing at. She says the smile on my face was always ear-to-ear.
"The Anatomy of a Boyfriend"
I remember when I was 9 years old I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen, looking through a massive pile of Sassy Magazine's that my sister kept lying around the house. Many people would argue that just having two older sisters with, uh, forceful personalities was enough to "make" me gay. (My sisters included, who suspect that years of sharing a bathroom with them removed any hint of desirability from the their gender and shifted me to guys.) In fact, the moment I "knew" was when I happened to pick up an issue of Sassy and found an article called "The Anatomy of a Boyfriend." They had an anatomically correct sketch of a naked guy with arrows pointing to various parts of him, explaining what they are. I took a special interest in the "testicles" arrow (which is funny, because I'm not really a balls guy now) and from there it was history. I remember thinking "yup, guess I'm gay."
[My First Love] was born on the same day in the same hospital as me. Our families became friends and I remember knowing before I knew much of anything I liked her in a special way. She was a cute kid from what I can remember, blond hair and blue eyes — adorable in a [MFL] sort of way.
When I think about that first romantic moment, those first butterflies, the headache I got whenever anyone would say [MFL], in some sort of way I don't really feel like I had choice. I definitely don't remember "identifying" as anything, and maybe this is the hetero/homo/bi -sexual tragedy; never feeling like you've made a choice, that the choice was made for you in a way. With so many other parts of our lives, we have a choice, and in this we're completely powerless.
"I Just Don't Believe In Love"
I actually self-identified as asexual for a long time; like, until I was eighteen. I had tried making out with people— girls— & it just wasn't for me. So I figured, anyway. That being said, it was pretty clear that it was women I was making out with. I guess the trick ended up being that making out with someone you LIKE is the tipping point. & maybe I was a late bloomer, I don't know. My parents would occasionally take me aside & put on their "serious voice" to ask if I was gay, & I would tell them "no, I just don't believe in love." As for liking girls over boys, I don't know. I remember always swimming in a pretty hetero-normative soup; when I was a little kid I knew that my parents & their friends would joke about how I was supposed to grow up & marry their daughter, & in second grade I had a "recess girlfriend" so I never really questioned the "boys & girls" default. I happened to luck out on that, since I am heterosexual.
I remember very specifically a moment when I was about 13 or 14 and I was riding my bike delivering newspapers when I realized that the feelings I had toward a rather dreamy boy in school (who later grew up to have his throat slashed in a drug deal gone wrong) were more than your average feelings of friendship. At the time, I didn't realize that I was entirely gay and thought, you know, maybe I was bi. By the time I was 17, I was ready to come out as a full-fledged homosexual and never looked back. Well, except for when I experimented with heterosexuality in college. I'm glad I got to see how green the grass was on the other side, but after that, I knew for sure I was really, really gay.
Kisses and Boners
I've been primarily attracted to girls as long as I can remember. I have a vague but embarrassing memory of getting an erection as a boy (probably three or four years old) watching a sex scene on TV with a man and a woman, but remember pretty distinctly that seeing the woman was the exciting part. (I also remember showing my mom and sister and being all "look at this!" I don't remember my mom's reaction, but it must have been notable enough that I filed the experience away so that at a later point in life I could be properly mortified remembering it.)
Like most boys, though, I wasn't a stranger to homoeroticism. Aside from lots of relationship-like feelings of "best friend" ownership, actual wrestling, ball-punching, and other more aggressive forms of expressing what I think was probably sexual energy, I also have a very distinct memory of kissing another boy on the lips in first grade. That memory is actually pretty similar to the erection memory, in that I felt a little strange about it at the time, then felt much weirder about it when I remembered it later.
Got a question for Guysourcing? Email me!
Image via advent/Shutterstock.com


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ORLANDO — The summer leagues are full of stories.
There are well-known rookies such as, Aaron Gordon, Marcus Smart and Shabazz Napier trying to make the step up to the next level.
There are second-year pros Steven Adams and Kelly Olynyk looking to expand their skills and add polish.
There are guys like Maarty Leunen, drafted by the Rockets back in 2008, who has made a playing career for himself in Europen, but wants a crack at the big time.
Then there's Brian Cook.
At 33, he's not just the oldest player on the court at the Orlando Pro Summer League. He's the only one who's been away from the game for the past two years and is knocking on the door trying to get back in.
Cook's wife, Victoria, had cancer and he stepped away from his NBA career to help her through the battle with the disease.
"It was something that I had to do and it's the kind of thing that you don't even think twice about," Cook said. "There are bigger things than playing games."
But now, two years later, the 6-foot-9 forward with 3-point range is here with the Pistons in an attempt to resurrect his career.
"I've really missed being out there on the court competing every day," Cook said. "I know some people might think it's kind of strange to try to do this at this point or it's a long shot. But I kind of think that I still have something to contribute to the game and I'm looking to maybe get in a couple of years."
Cook, who was a first-round draft choice of the Lakers in 2003 and played for five different teams — also Magic, Rockets, Clippers, Wizards — in nine seasons, reached out to Stan Van Gundy as soon his former coach took over in Detroit and asked for an opportunity in the summer league. He is here with no guarantees, no promises.
"I called him right away," Cook said. "As a free agent, I can try to get on anywhere. But I'm comfortable with Stan's offense and I'm also comfortable with the way he respected me and treated me and really cared about me when I played for him here in Orlando. Those are the kind of things that you take for granted as young kid and then come to appreciate more once you mature and have been around the block a few times in different situations. You really come to appreciate it even more when you've been at home like I have for the past several years helping my wife and being with the family."
Cook has struggled to find his shooting stroke in his first two games, making just 5-of-18 shots and 3-of-12 from behind the arc. But he figures the shot will come with time and repetition and Cook is currently enjoying just being back in a locker room again, back wearing a jersey, back sharing the the highs and lows of game experiences, even if it is mostly with kids who are at least 10 years younger.
Van Gundy might not be able to provide the spot on his roster this season as he makes over the Pistons, but he is giving the veteran a chance to show other NBA teams that there is still something left after Cook gave the last two years to his family and wife, who is now cancer-free.
"I really believe that I've still got the ability to compete at this level and help a team," Cook said. "I'm just hoping for a real shot."


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Hunter and Waif is a theme I posted on a month or two back. I've been doing a lot of character design lately for clients, but not much for myself and so I thought I might come back to H and W because I kind of like them and think they might be interesting characters to work with if I can nail them down. When I'm working up my own ideas like this I usually start to get story ideas while I'm drawing. That was the case here. They went from being interesting shapes that I wanted to experiment with, to a couple of characters with back history and motivation.
I began to imagine a story in the far north like say the Yukon or Siberia. Waif has escaped from an orphanage or perhaps she was taken by a witch from the orphanage and later escapes. In any case she is wandering alone in a winter forest world when she is found/rescued by the hunter. Now they are together and he must try to save her but his range is limited and so he will have to hand her over to the next hunter and then the next and so on and so forth until the final hunter will be able to deliver her to safety. Maybe she would rather stay with Hunter, or perhaps she would like to become a hunter herself. These are merely the opening thoughts/ideas for a possible story but I'm curious about them and so I will continue to investigate.
I was pretty happy with the design for Hunter. He is a big simple shape and doesn't say too much but I found the Waif character a little harder to simplify properly. I couldn't quite decide how I wanted her to look. Is she happy and upbeat, not yet tainted by captivity or depressed and lonely ? Is she glad that Hunter has rescued her or does she still feel like a prisoner ? I need to have answers for these questions before I can finalize her design. Still working on her, and of course the story ideas keep coming.
Peace :)


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If your family is full of little thespians, Massachusetts is center stage. The Boston Children's Theater features live theater for children, by children, and rivals internet cat videos on the cuteness scale. The Amazing Things Art Center in Framingham has plays, shows and concerts aimed at a young audience. Take the family to the Arlington Children's Theater, and you might catch a glimpse of the next Daniel Day-Lewis or Meryl Streep making their career debut. If you're looking for something on a grander scale, Boston's big venues like the Wang Theater and the Emerson Colonial Theater regularly present family friendly fare. Any miniature Shakespeare would find a lot to love in Massachusetts.
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Lynn Memorial Auditorium
The Lynn Memorial Auditorium is a 2072 seat facility located within City Hall. The Auditorium was re-opened in October 2006 beginning with... more+ 0 saves
Lynn Memorial Auditorium
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New Waves of Imagination
(Santa Monica, Calif. - May 12, 2009) Big-top show producer Cirque du Soleil held a press conference on sunny Santa Monica Beach today to announce that the troupe will be returning to the spot this fall with its show KOOZA. Tickets go on sale to the public on June 16 for a limited engagement of performances beginning October 16 and continuing until November 15.
This fall marks major milestones for both Cirque and this world-destination beach town. It will be 25 years since Cirque du Soleil was formed from an itinerant troupe of stilt walkers in Montreal, and in September it will be exactly 100 years since the opening of the Santa Monica Pier. As mentioned by emcee Karen Gay, Global Citizenship Director for Cirque, the timing of these two anniversaries is a wonderful "harmonic convergence."
The city will be sponsoring a succession of public events starting May 16 with Sideshow at the Pier, with music, comedy, magic and all kinds of street performers. Performers from KOOZA will contribute to the festivities. On September 9 will be a grand Centennial Sky Show Spectacular, in celebration of the Pier Centennial, and in October, the opening of KOOZA will help cap it all off.
Offering a brief welcoming speech to Cirque at the press event, Santa Monica Mayor Ken Genser said that the return of the famous circus is "anticipated by so many people with joy and glee, rather like a visit from a creative, wacky relative. We're eagerly fixing up the guest room!"
Misti Kerns, President and CEO of the Santa Monica Convention and Visitors Bureau, expressed hope that Cirque will bring an increase in revenues in an off season during these economic times.
The stretch of beach by the pier where Cirque erects its familiar blue-and-yellow big-top tent was one of the first U.S. venues for the Quebec-based exhibition company. In the '80s and into the '90s, the reappearance of the striped tent on the beach became a tradition of the local back-to-school season. That tradition seemed to flag, however, as Cirque apparently concentrated on expanding its other operations worldwide.
Serge Roy, the Director of Creation of Cirque du Soleil and one of the original performers and creators 25 years ago, introduced the day's performance. He explained that KOOZA is a return to the origins of Cirque du Soleil that combines two circus traditions - acrobatic performance and the art of clowning. The show highlights the physical demands of human performance in all its splendor and fragility presented in a colorful mélange that emphasizes bold slapstick humor.
Along with several extraordinarily colorful clowns and troupe members, the audience was treated to the stylings of "Duo Unicycle" or "Pas de Deux" performed by Diana Aleshchenko and Yuri Shavro. Shavaro's sure-footed cycling while flinging and enabling the dazzling contortions of Aleshchenko was graceful and breath-taking. Their movements were jaw-dropping as Aleshchenko did such impossible feats as wrapping her body like a pretzel around Shavro, standing in perfect balance on his head, all in harmony with the changing musical accompaniments.
Throughout its history, Cirque has never used wildlife in its shows. This separates it from other circuses which dazzle audiences by seeing wild animals do unnatural things with their bodies for human entertainment. This causes much suffering behind the scenes from the moment the animals are torn from their natural environments to the horrifying training and living conditions. (See Georja's article on animals in circuses.)
Cirque du Soleil proves you do not need wildlife to be a success. Today, it has more than 4,000 employees from over 40 different countries, including 1,000 performing artists. Since Cirque du Soleil's founding, its shows have entertained almost 90 million spectators in over 200 cities on five continents. Just this year, Cirque will present 20 shows simultaneously throughout the world.
Georja Umano is an actress/comedienne and animal advocate.
Gerald Everett Jones is the author of the Rollo Hemphill series of comic novels.
Photos by John Sciulli ©Berliner Studio/BEImages except as noted.
Cirque du Soleil KOOZA in Santa Monica
American Express Cardmembers preferred seating www.cirquedusoleil.com/amex
Oct. 16 - Nov. 15, 2009
Tickets are available now through June 15 to Cirque Club members. Details on the Cirque website. Seats go on sale to the general public beginning June 16, via the 800 number or the website.
Ticket Prices
Adults $60 - 125
Children (2 - 12 years) $42 - 87.50
Students & Seniors $54 - 112.50
Adults $65 - 135
Children (2 - 12 years) $45.50 - 94.50
Santa Monica Performance Schedule
- Tuesdays thru Thursdays at 8:00 p.m.
- Fridays and Saturdays at 4:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.
- Sundays at 1:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.
- No performances on Mondays


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Barclays estimates that mortgages being refinanced from Federal Housing Administration-backing to private-insured loans currently account for about 20% of all FHA refinance activity, according to a recent report.
However, improving home prices and increased PMI availability could further open up a refinancing outlet for certain FHA borrowers over time.
"This would erode the call protection afforded by mortgage insurance premium protected collateral. It would also provide a boost to discount Ginnie Mae speeds in a rates sell-off scenario," said analysts Nicholas Strand, Wei-Ang Lee, Sandipan Deb and Rohan Joshi of Barclays.
Rising FHA premiums sharply improved Ginnie Mae convexity [sensitivity to interest rate changes], but MIP protection is likely to deteriorate over time driven by a competitive private mortgage insurance market and an improving home price appreciation environment, Barclays noted.
"The simple reason for this is: higher premiums increase the attractiveness of other mortgage options that have lower ancillary fees. Specifically, for FHA borrowers that qualify, we believe a conventional loan (with private MI if needed) will become an increasingly viable refinancing outlet over time," the analysts said.
A historic high in FHA mortgage premiums has significantly increased the MIP hurdle in a refinance transaction. As a result, this hurdle is one of the defining factors of the Ginnie Mae prepayment landscape over the past few years, according to Barclays.
However, similar to Making Homes Affordable, some of this call protection will erode over time. Given the high costs of an FHA loan relative to a conventional loans with private mortgage insurance, "FHA borrowers have considerable incentive to refinance conventionally," Barclays stated.
There is evidence that FHA to conventional refinances beginning to grow, Barclays said.
For instance, PMI originations are rapidly increasing market share relative to FHA. Additionally, the number of FHA loans that refinance is currently outpacing those endorsed, which is another sign of growing FHA-to-conventional refinances, according to the research firm.
Going forward, a return to a more 'normal' underwriting and HPA environment has critical implications for issues in the Ginnie Mae sector including the specter of increased FHA to "conventional refinancing makes GNMA MIP story look less stable."
Furthermore, Ginnie Mae collateral should be an even stronger discount story, according to Barclays.
"In a rate sell-off, these borrowers would still have significant incentives to refinance conventionally, which should benefit the GN/FN swap in a higher rate environment," the analysts said.


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Penne with Pancetta, Tuna, and White Wine
"This is a fresh-tasting pasta dish loaded with good stuff! Pancetta, peas, mushrooms, spinach, flaked tuna, and cherry tomatoes are cooked in a bright-tasting...
mushroom, pancetta, +spinach, +cherry tomato, +garlic, +peas, +lemon juice, +olive oil, +onions, +parmesan cheese, +penne, +red pepper flakes, +salt, +white wine
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Story highlights
- Data seized from David Miranda includes 58,000 highly classified UK intelligence documents, official says
- Data could allow UK intelligence personnel to be identified, a court hears
- Miranda, the partner of journalist Glenn Greenwald, was detained as he passed through London
- Miranda's lawyers say he was illegally detained under terrorism legislation
Data seized from the partner of journalist Glenn Greenwald, who has led The Guardian newspaper's reporting on secret U.S. surveillance programs, would cause harm to UK national security and could expose British spies to risk if it is disclosed, London's High Court heard Friday.
David Miranda filed a legal challenge against UK authorities last week after they detained him as he passed through London's Heathrow Airport on his way home to Brazil and confiscated items including a laptop, hard drive and USB memory sticks from him.
Miranda won a partial victory in his bid to prevent UK authorities examining, copying or sharing the material seized while he challenged the legality of his detention under terrorism legislation, but the judge left a loophole that allows the police to continue investigating the materials they seized from him for the purpose of protecting national security.
The government argues it had a duty to detain him and confiscate the material to ensure national security.
Miranda's partner, Greenwald, has been at the forefront of high-profile reports exposing hidden U.S. intelligence programs, based on leaks from former U.S. National Security Agency contractor Edward Snowden.
The information accessed so far includes "misappropriated classified material" made up of about 58,000 highly classified UK intelligence documents, Oliver Robbins, Britain's Deputy National Security Adviser for Intelligence, Security and Resilience, said Friday in a written statement to the court.
No information analyzed so far "has identified a journalist source or has contained any items prepared by a journalist with a view to publication," he said.
Robbins said the material seized was "highly likely to describe techniques which have been crucial in life-saving counter terrorist operations"and other intelligence activities," and that any disclosure of them would jeopardize national security and aid those hostile to Britain.
"A particular concern for HMG (the UK government) is the possibility that the identity of a UK intelligence officer might be revealed. It is known that contained in the seized material is personal information that would allow staff to be identified, including those deployed overseas," he said.
"Real damage" has already been done to UK national security by media revelations resulting from the leaked material, he said.
While much of the data was encrypted, one of the paper documents taken from Miranda explained how to decrypt some of it, Robbins said.
He said this was a sign of "very poor information security practice," and that possession of the information by those outside the intelligence services put it at risk of being accessed by hostile elements.
The volume of data found in Miranda's possession suggests that Snowden "scraped" data from classified networks in bulk and passed it on, Robbins said, rather than undertaking targeted and careful appropriation of documents.
A large proportion of the material is classified as "Secret" or "Top Secret," he said.
He argued that UK authorities may need to make more copies of the confiscated files in order to decode those that are still encrypted and to uncover London's Metropolitan Police have also launched a criminal investigation in the case.
Law firm Bindmans, which is representing Miranda, said the Home Office and police had made "sweeping assertions about national security threats" in their court filing but given no details to back up the claim.
Miranda "does not accept the assertions they have made and is disappointed that the UK Government is attempting to justify the use of terrorist powers by making what appear to be unfounded assertions," a statement from the law firm said.
The statement quotes Miranda as saying his rights have been violated and "that basic press freedoms are now threatened by the attempted criminalization of legitimate journalistic work."
Miranda was stopped at Heathrow in mid-August as he was returning to the couple's Rio de Janeiro home after staying in Berlin with filmmaker Laura Poitras, who has been working with Greenwald on NSA-related stories.
Miranda has said he doesn't know what material he was carrying. He doesn't work for The Guardian, but the newspaper paid for his flights because he was helping his partner.
He and Greenwald told CNN's Anderson Cooper of their distress and anger about his treatment at Heathrow Airport.
"To start detaining people who they think they are reporting on what they're doing under terrorism laws, that is as dangerous and oppressive as it gets," said Greenwald.


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Professor Angus Deaton, whose articles are available on Chicago Scholarship Online, has won the year's most coveted prize in economics
PRINTED FROM CHICAGO SCHOLARSHIP ONLINE (www.chicago.universitypressscholarship.com). (c) Copyright University of Chicago Press, 2019. All Rights Reserved. Under the terms of the licence agreement, an individual user may print out a PDF of a single chapter of a monograph in CHSO for personal use (for details see www.chicago.universitypressscholarship.com/page/privacy-policy).date: 25 June 2019
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Stockton, CA
Esther Bara Garduno
June 30, 1931 - September 13, 2013
Esther Bara Garduno passed away Friday, September 13, 2013 peacefully in her home surrounded
by her family at the age of 82.
Esther was born on June 30, 1931 in Texas on an Indian Reservation and came to California at the age of 14. She has been a resident of Stockton since, where she has raised her family.
Esther was a very independent strong woman. She had a strong sense of Family and she had an open door policy to all her family and many have stayed for an "extended visit" while they were growing up, she made another bed and set another plate-her heart was always open as well as her kitchen. She was loved dearly by the numerous nieces and nephews whom many took turns living with their Auntie.
She had a zest for life and enjoyed being on the go. She loved to be out and about enjoying the local farmers markets and flea markets and walking the malls. She was an avid Bingo player and Casino lover. She loved attending movies, shopping and going out for meals with her family by her side. She could never resist an outing with her many girlfriends. She loved the family BBQ's and parties and could never resist hosting the family holidays. She would never miss any activity that her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren had. She was the family's biggest cheerleader.
Esther is survived by her husband of 63 years Jesse Garduno Sr., and her daughter Linda Marquez and son-in-law Richard Marquez and grandson Buddy Marquez (her first born grandson known as her "BABAS") and great grandchildren, Junior Marquez, Niko Marquez and Ashley Marquez and her son Jesse Garduno Jr. and daughter-in-law Kathy Butcher Garduno and grandson Toby Garduno (her fourth grandson known as her "SUNSHINE") and her daughter Toni Sarris and son-in-law Richard Sarris and grandson's Jon Sarris (her second born grandson known as her "BUBBA") and Mark Sarris (her third born grandson known as her "SWEET PEA"). Her grandchildren were the light in her life. Preceded in death by her daughter Rose Garduno, her mother Francisca Bara, and all her brothers and sister, Torivio Nevarez, Raymundo Nevarez, and Lupe Avalos.
Services will be held on Friday September 27th at 2:00 pm at the Cathedral of the Annunciation, Rose & Van Buren Streets, Stockton, CA 95203. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Esther's name to Hospice of San Joaquin, 3888 Pacific Avenue, Stockton, CA 95204. Online guestbook at deyoungchapels.com


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Contact Us
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Overlooking a half mile of
sandy beach, Brennan Beach RV
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For Lake Ontario fishing
take a chartered boat out on the
waters for a deep-sea fishing adventure or try
your luck fishing on nearby Salmon River. With plenty of activities the whole family can enjoy, we invite you to create your memories with us!
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