Russian jokes () are short fictional stories or dialogs with a punch line, which commonly appear in Russian humor. Russian joke culture includes a series of categories with fixed settings and characters. Russian jokes treat topics found everywhere in the world, including sex, politics, spousal relations, or mothers-in-law. This article discusses Russian joke subjects that are particular to Russian or Soviet culture.

A major subcategory is Russian political jokes,  discussed in a separate article.

Every category has numerous untranslatable jokes that rely on linguistic puns, wordplay, and the Russian language vocabulary of foul language. Below, (L) marks jokes whose humor value critically depends on intrinsic features of the Russian language.

Archetypes

Named characters

Stierlitz
Stierlitz is a fictional Soviet intelligence officer, portrayed by Vyacheslav Tikhonov in the Soviet TV series Seventeen Moments of Spring. In the jokes, Stierlitz interacts with various characters, most prominently his nemesis Müller portrayed by Leonid Bronevoy. Usually two-liners spoofing the solemn style of the original TV voice-overs, the plot is resolved in grotesque plays on words or in parodies of the trains of thought and narrow escapes of the "original" Stierlitz.

 Stierlitz opens a door, and the lights go on. Stierlitz closes the door, and the lights go out. Stierlitz opens the door again; the light goes back on. Stierlitz closes the door; the light goes out again. Stierlitz deduces, "It's a refrigerator".
 Stierlitz approaches Berlin, which is veiled in smoke from widespread fires: "Must have forgotten to turn off my iron," Stierlitz thought with slight irritation.
 Stierlitz wakes up in a prison cell. "Which identity should I use?" he wonders. "Let's see. If a person in black uniform walks in, I must be in Germany so I'll say I'm Standartenführer Stierlitz. If they wear green uniform, I'm in the USSR so I'll admit I'm Colonel Isayev". The door opens and a person in a grey uniform comes in saying, "You really should ease up on vodka, Comrade Tikhonov!" (grey uniform was the typical police officer's uniform in Soviet Union since early 1970s.)

Poruchik Rzhevsky
Poruchik (First Lieutenant) Dmitry Rzhevsky (Sometimes spelled Rzhevskiy) of the jokes is a cavalry (Hussar) officer, a straightforward, unsophisticated, and innocently rude military type whose rank and standing nevertheless gain him entrance into high society. In the jokes, he is often seen interacting with the character Natasha Rostova from the novel War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, who would act as his opposite, showing the comedic contrast between Rzhevsky and Rostova's behavior. The name is borrowed from a character in a 1960s comedy, Hussar Ballad, bearing little in common with the folklore hero. The 1967 film rendering of War and Peace contributed to the proliferation of the Rzhevsky jokes. Some researchers point out that many jokes of this kind are versions of 19th-century Russian army jokes, retold as a new series of jokes about Rzhevsky.

Rzhevsky is often depicted as having a casual, nonchalant attitude to love and sex:
Poruchik Rzhevsky is putting his riding boots on and is about to take leave of a charming demoiselle he had met the previous evening: "Mon cher Poruchik", she intones teasingly, "aren't you forgetting about the money?"  Rzhevsky turns to her and says proudly: "Hussars never take money!" (The latter expression Gusary deneg ne berut! has become a Russian catchphrase.)

Rzhevsky is also seen giving advice to other Russian gentlemen:
 Knyaz Andrei Bolkonski asks Poruchik Rzhevsky: "Tell me, Poruchik, how did you come to be so good with the ladies? What is your secret?" / "It's quite simplement, mon Prince, quite simplement. I just come over and say: 'Madame, would you like to fuck?'" / "But Poruchik, you'll get slapped in the face for that!" / "Oui, most of them slap, but some of them fuck."

A series of jokes is based on a paradox of vulgarity within a high society setting:
Natasha Rostova attends her first formal ball and dances with Pierre Bezukhov: "Pierre, isn't that grease on your collar?" / "Oh my, how could I miss such a terrible flaw in my costume, I'm totally destroyed!" [he retreats in shame] / Then, she dances with Kniaz Bolkonsky: "Andrew, isn't there a spot of sauce on your tunic?" [he faints] / Finally, she's dancing with Rzhevsky: "Poruchik, your boots are all covered in mud!" / "It's not mud, it's shit. Don't worry, mademoiselle, it'll fall off once it dries up."
 Poruchik Rzhevsky is dancing at a ball with a lady. He asks to be excused "to go out to check on the horse". When he returns his pants are all wet. "Poruchik, is it rainy outside?" Asks the lady. "No, m'd'mselle", Rzhevsky responds, "it's windy outside."

While successful narration of quite a few Russian jokes heavily depends on using sexual vulgarities ("Russian mat"), Rzhevsky, with all his vulgarity, does not use heavy mat in traditional versions of his tales. One of his favorite words is "arse" (which is considered rather mild among Russian vulgarities), and there is a series of jokes where Rzhevsky answers "arse" to some innocent question (it is typical of Rzhevsky to blurt unromantic comments in the most romantic situations):
Poruchik Rzhevsky and Natasha Rostova are riding horses together on the countryside. "Poruchik, what a beautiful meadow! Guess what I see there?" / "Arse, mademoiselle?" /  "Ouch, Poruchik! I see chamomiles!" (Chamomiles are Russian cliché folk flowers) / "How romantic, mademoiselle! An arse amid chamomiles!..."

The essence of Rzhevsky's peculiarity is captured in the following meta-joke:
Rzhevsky narrates his latest adventure to his Hussar comrades. "...So I am riding through this dark wood and suddenly see a wide, white..." / Hussars, all together: "...arse!" / "Of course not! A glade full of chamomiles! And right in the middle there is a beautiful white..." / Hussars, encore: "...arse!" / "How vulgar of you! A mansion! So I open the door and guess what I see?" / Hussars, encore: "An arse!" / Poruchik, genuinely surprised: "How did you guess? Did I tell this story before?"

This theme culminates in the following joke, sometimes called "the ultimate Hussar joke":
Countess Maria Bolkonskaya celebrates her 50th anniversary, the whole local Hussar regiment is invited, and the Countess boasts about the gifts she has received: "Cornet Obolensky presented me a lovely set of 50 Chinese fragrant candles. I loved them so much that I immediately stuck them into the seven 7-branch candlesticks you see on the table. Such auspicious numbers! Unfortunately there is a single candle left, and I don't know where to stick it..." / The whole Hussar regiment takes a deep breath... but the Hussar colonel barks out: "Hussars!!! Silence!!!" (Гусары, молчать! has become a catchphrase too.)

Rabinovich

Rabinovich is an archetypal Russian Jew. He is a crafty, cynical, sometimes bitter type, skeptical about the Soviet government, and often too smart for his own good. He is sometimes portrayed as an otkaznik ("refusenik"): someone who is refused permission to emigrate to Israel.

 Rabinovich fills out a job application form. The official is skeptical: "You stated that you don't have any relatives abroad, but you do have a brother in Israel." / "Yes, but he isn't abroad, I am abroad!"
 Seeing a pompous and lavish burial of a member of the Politburo, Rabinovich sadly shakes his head: "What a waste! With this kind of money, I could have buried the entire Politburo!"
 Rabinovich calls Pamyat headquarters, speaking with a characteristic accent: "Tell me, is it true that Jews sold out Russia?" / "Yes, of course it's true, Kike-schnabel!" / "Oh good! Could you please tell me where I should go to get my share?"

The following example explains Vladimir Putin's remark about "Comrade Wolf", describing the policies of the United States, that many non-Russians found cryptic. In a reference to the US-led invasion of Iraq Putin said: "As they say, 'comrade wolf knows whom to eat.' He eats without listening and he is clearly not going to listen to anyone."
 Rabinovich is walking through the forest with a sheep, when both of them stumble into a pit. A few minutes later, a wolf also falls into the pit. The sheep gets nervous and starts bleating. "What's with all the baaahh, baaahh?" Rabinovich answers "Comrade Wolf knows whom to eat."

Vovochka
Vovochka is the Russian equivalent of "Little Johnny". He interacts with his school teacher, Maria Ivanovna (shortened to "Marivanna", a stereotypical female teacher's name). "Vovochka" is a diminutive form of "Vova", which in turn is a shortened version of "Vladimir", creating the "little boy" effect. His fellow students bear similarly diminutive names. This "little boy" name is used in contrast with Vovochka's wisecracking, adult, often obscene statements.

In biology class, the teacher draws a cucumber on the blackboard: "Children, could someone tell me what is this?" / Vovochka raises his hand: "It's a dick, Marivanna!" The teacher bursts into tears and runs out. / Shortly, the principal rushes in: "All right, what did you do now? Which one of you brought Maria Ivanovna to tears? And who the hell drew that dick on the blackboard?"
The teacher asks the class to produce a word that starts with the letter "A": Vovochka happily raises his hand and says "Arse!" ("Жопа" in the original) / The teacher, shocked, responds "For shame! There's no such word!" / "That's strange," says Vovochka thoughtfully, "the arse exists, but the word doesn't!" (Actually, the phrase is attributed to Ivan Baudouin de Courtenay, linguist and lexicographer.)

Vasily Ivanovich

Vasily Ivanovich Chapayev, a Red Army hero of the Russian Civil War, in the rank of Division Commander, was featured in a 1934 biopic. The most common topics are the war with the monarchist White Army, Chapayev's futile attempts to enroll into the Frunze Military Academy, and the circumstances of Chapayev's death (officially, he was gunned down by the Whites and drowned while attempting to flee across the Ural River after a lost battle).

Chapayev is usually accompanied by his aide-de-camp Petka (Петька, "Pete"), as well as Anka the Machine-Gunner (Анка-пулемётчица), and political commissar Furmanov, all based on real people. (Being well known in Russian popular culture, Chapayev, Petka, and Anka were featured in a series of Russian adventure games released in the late 1990s and 2000s.)

 "I flunked my history exam, Petka. They asked me who Caesar was, and I said he's a stallion from our 7th cavalry squadron." / "It's all my fault, Vasily Ivanovich! While you were away, I reassigned him to the 6th!"
 Chapayev, Petka, and Anka, in hiding from the Whites, are crawling plastoon-style across a field: Anka first, then Petka, and Chapayev is last. / Petka says to Anka, "Anka, you lied about your proletarian descent! Your mother must have been a ballerina – your legs are so fine!" / Chapayev responds, "And your father, Petka, must have been a plowman – the furrow you're leaving behind you is so deep!"
 Petka shout to Chapayev "Vasily Ivanovich, our Anka is crawling to the Whites!" / Chapayev replies, "Don't shoot, Petka! She is our bacteriological weapon!"
 On the occasion of an anniversary of the October Revolution, Furmanov gives a political lecture to the rank and file soldiers: "...And now we are on our glorious way to the shining horizons of Communism!" / "How did it go?", Chapayev asks Petka afterwards. "Exciting!... but unclear. What the hell is a horizon?" / "See Petka, it is a line you may see far away in the steppe when the weather is good. And it's a tricky oneno matter how long you ride towards it, you'll never reach it. You'll only wear down your horse."

 See also under Fantômas below.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson
A number of jokes involve characters from the short stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle about the private detective Sherlock Holmes and his friend Doctor Watson. The jokes appeared and became popular soon after The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson film series was broadcast on Soviet TV in the late 1970s to mid-1980s, starring Vasily Livanov as Sherlock Holmes and Vitaly Solomin as Watson. Lines from these films are usually included in the jokes («Элементарно, Ватсон!» – "Elementary, my dear Watson!"). The narrator of the joke usually tries to mimic Livanov's husky voice. The standard plot of these jokes is a short dialog where Watson naïvely wonders about something, and Holmes finds a "logical" explanation to the phenomenon in question. Occasionally the jokes also include other characters – Mrs Hudson, the landlady of Holmes's residence on Baker Street; or Sir Henry and his butler Barrymore from The Hound of the Baskervilles; or the detective's nemesis Professor Moriarty.

 Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up and says: "Watson, look up, and tell me what you see." / "I see millions and millions of stars." / "And what do you deduce from that?" / "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." / "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!"

Fantômas
Some older jokes involve Fantômas, a fictional criminal and master of disguise from the French detective series, a character once widely popular in the USSR. His arch-enemy is Inspector Juve, charged with catching him. Fantômas' talent for disguise is usually the focus of the joke, allowing for jokes featuring all sorts of other characters:
 From the days when Prime Minister Golda Meir led Israel: Fantômas sneaks into Mao Zedong's private chamber as the latter is on his deathbed, and respectfully removes his mask. / Mao muses: "Well, Comrade Petka, fate sure does have a way of scattering friends all over the world, doesn't it?" / "Ah, if you only knew, Vasily Ivanovich, what our Anka has been up to in Israel!"

Bogatyrs

Bogatyrs are heroes of Russian folk tales: impossibly strong and brave warriors, but often portrayed in jokes as arrogant, cunning and cruel. The three bogatyrs are usually Ilya Muromets, Alyosha Popovich, Dobrynya Nikitich or a combination thereof; the jokes often include other folk characters (such as Baba Yaga, Koschei or Gorynych) and enemies of Rus (most often the Golden Horde), usually defeated by the end of the joke. As with most other jokes, most of these are not meant for children despite folk characters associated with kids' fairy tales.
 Three bogatyrs clash with the Three Musketeers over a petty dispute; of course, d'Artagnan challenges Ilya to a duel. Aramis, as d'Artagnan's second, marks Ilya's heart with a chalk: "It is here that my friend chevalier d'Artagnan will have the honour to pierce you with his épée!". Ilya looks at his mace, then at d'Artagnan, then says to Alyosha Popovich: "Alyosha, be kind, dust this chevalier with chalk from head to toe."
 The steppe army approaches the border of Rus' and sees the outpost hut. The military leader shouts: "Russians, come out!" A sleepy Dobrynya Nikitich comes out of the hut: "What do you need?" — "We have come to conquer you!" — "And how many are you?" — "We are thousands of thousands!" Dobrynya, bewildered: "Good grief, who is going to bury such a crowd?!"

Animals
Jokes set in the animal kingdom also feature characters, which draw their roots in the old Slavic fairy tales, where animals are portrayed as sapient beings with a stereotypical behavior, such as the violent Wolf; the sneaky Fox; the cocky, cowardly Hare; the strong, simple-minded Bear; the multi-dimensional Hedgehog; and the Lion, king of the animal kingdom. In the Russian language all objects, animate and inanimate, have a (grammatical) gender – masculine, feminine, or neuter. The reader should assume that the Wolf, the Bear, the Hare, the Lion, and the Hedgehog are males, whereas the Fox (Vixen) is a female:

 The Bear, the Wolf and the Vixen are playing cards. The Wolf warns, shuffling: "No cheating! If anyone is cheating, her smug red-furred face is going to hurt!"

Animals in Russian jokes are and were very well aware of politics in the realm of humans:

A bunch of animals including the Cock are in prison bragging about why they were sent there.  The Cock doesn't take part in this. Someone asks: "And what are you in for?" / "I am not talking to you, criminals. I am a political prisoner!" / "How come?" / "I pecked a Young Pioneer in the arse!"

Animal jokes are often fables, i.e. their punchline is (or eventually becomes) a kind of a maxim.

The Hare runs like crazy through a forest and meets the Wolf. The Wolf asks: "What's the matter? Why such haste?" / "The camels there are caught and shod!" The Wolf says: "But you're not a camel!" / "Hey, after you are caught and shod, just you try to prove to them that you are not a camel!"
This joke is suggested to be an origin of the popular Russian saying "try to prove you are not a camel" in the sense "try to prove something to someone who doesn't want to listen", used in relation to violations of the presumption of innocence by Russian law enforcement agencies, or when someone has to fight the bureaucracy to get official papers proving that one has lost a leg or is even alive. The Hare and the joke itself were used to illustrate the hassles of a Soviet lishenets in a 1929 issue of a satirical magazine Chudak. Mikhail Melnichenko, in an article about Soviet political jokes cites a 1926 private collection, which renders the joke in a more gruesome form, where  the Hare is scared of the rumor that all camels are taken hostages by Cheka and shot (a reference to the Red Terror). Later Melnichenko in his book Coветский анекдот. Указатель сюжетов reports an earlier version, a record of a censored sketch of the comic duo  Bim Bom. A similar parable was told by a 13th-century Persian poet and Sufi Jalal ad-Din Rumi, in which a person was scared to be taken for a donkey and skinned. Ben Lewis in his "Hammer & Tickle" cites yet another version: a flock of sheep seek refuge in Finland because Beria ordered an arrest of all elephants (an allusion to the sweeping national operations of the NKVD) and they have no chance to explain the difference to Beria. Lewis traces it to "a Persian poet in 12th-century Arabia, where it involves a fox running away from a royal ordinance that in theory applies only to donkeys."

Golden Fish
Aside from mammals, a rather common non-human is the "Golden Fish", who asks the catcher to release her in exchange for three wishes. The first Russian instance of this appeared in Alexander Pushkin's The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish. In jokes, the Fisherman may be replaced by a representative of a nationality or ethnicity, and the third wish usually makes the punch line of the joke.
An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are alone on an uninhabited island. They catch fish for food and suddenly catch a Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:The American: "A million dollars and to go back home!"The Frenchman: "Three  beautiful women and to go back home!"The Russian: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of vodka and the two fellas back!"
Side Note: This joke is a play on the fact that in Russia it is believed that three is the optimal number of people for drinking. This in turn goes back to when in the Soviet Union a bottle of vodka cost 2.87 roubles, 3 roubles being a convenient price for three men to buy a bottle and have 13 kopecks left for a snack. The classic for the latter was a rectangular pack of soft processed cheese "Druzhba" (Friendship), with that exact price. Therefore, a natural company is 3, each contributing 1 rouble. This procedure was dubbed "to have arranged for three (persons)" (; soobrazit' na troikh, literal translation: "to have figured out for three"). Much of Soviet folklore is based on this interpretation of the "magic of the number 3".

A similar type of joke involves a wish-granting Genie, the main difference being that in the case of the Golden Fish the Fisherman suffers from his own stupidity or greed, while the Genie is known for ingeniously twisting an interpretation of the wish to frustrate the grantee.

A man finds an old bottle, picks it up and opens it. The Genie comes out of the bottle and says: "Thanks so much for letting me out! I feel I should do something for you, too. Would you like to become a Hero of the Soviet Union?" (Hero of the Soviet Union was the highest Soviet award). The guy says: "Yes, sure!" Next thing he knows, he finds himself on a battlefield  with four grenades, alone against six German panzers.

Drunkards
 A drunkard takes a leak by a lamp pole in the street. A policeman tries to reason with him: "Can't you see the latrine is just 25 feet away?" The drunkard replies: "Do you think I've got a fire hose in my trousers?"
 Drunk #1 is slowly walking, bracing himself against a fence and stumbling. He comes across Drunk #2, who is lying in mud across the street.  "What a disgrace!  Lying around like a pig!  I'm ashamed for you." / "You just keep on walking, demagogue!  We'll see what you're gonna do when you run out of your fence too!"
During the anti-alcohol campaign two drunkards agreed on a special code: "book" means "vodka", "newspaper" means "beer", etc. So, this is how their chat goes: "Shit, newspapers are out of stock since early morning, the library opens only at 11am..." The second one cuts in: "To hell with the books, come over quickly: uncle Ivan brought some manuscripts from the village!"

Policemen
These often revolve around the supposition that the vast majority of Russian and Soviet militsioners (policemen, now called politzia) accept bribes. Also, they are not considered to be very bright.

Three prizes were awarded for the successes in a Socialist competition of the Traffic Inspection Department #18. The third prize is the Complete Works of Vladimir Lenin. The second prize is 100 roubles and a ticket to Sochi... The first prize is a portable stop sign. (There are several versions with this punch line about the stop sign, which is a Soviet peculiarity. A portable stop sign allowed the militsioner to put it in an unexpected or hard-to-see place on a road, to fine everyone passing it, and to appropriate most of the fines for himself. One such joke: The policeman asked his supervisor for a raise and got the reply, "I cannot give you a raise, but I can give you a stop sign.")
A person on a bus tells a joke: "Do you know why policemen always go in pairs?" / "No, why?" / "It's specialization: one knows how to read, the other knows how to write." / A hand promptly grabs him by the shoulder – a policeman is standing right behind him! / "Your papers!" he barks. The hapless person surrenders his official papers. / The policeman opens them, reads, and nods to his partner: "Write him a citation for slandering the Soviet Militsiya, Vasya". (A version of this joke involves a third policeman whose sole job is in turn to watch over these two dangerously literate intellectuals.)

Ethnic stereotypes
Imperial Russia had been multi-ethnic for many centuries, and this situation continued throughout the Soviet period, and continues still. Throughout history, several ethnic stereotypes have developed, often in common with those views by other ethnicities (usually except for the ethnicity in question, but not always).

Chukchi

Chukchi (singular Chukcha), the native people of Chukotka, the most remote northeast corner of Russia, are a common minority targeted for generic ethnic jokes in Russia. They are depicted as primitive, uncivilized, and simple-minded, but clever in their own way. A propensity for saying odnako (Russian for "however", depending on context) is a staple of Chukcha jokes. The straight man part of Chukcha jokes is often a Russian geologist.

"Chukcha, why did you buy a fridge, if it's so cold on the tundra?" "Why, is −50° Celsius outside yaranga, is −10° inside, is −5° in fridge – warm place, odnako!"
A Chukcha comes into a shop and asks: "Do you have color TVs?" "Yes, we do." "Give me a green one."
A Chukcha applies for membership in the Union of Soviet Writers. He is asked what literature he is familiar with. "Have you read Pushkin?" "No." "Have you read Dostoevsky?" "No." / "Can you read at all?" The Chukcha, offended, replies, "Chukcha not reader, Chukcha writer!" (The last phrase has become a cliché in Russian culture, hinting at happy or militant ignorance.)

Chukchi do not miss their chance to offer a retort.

A Chukcha and a Russian geologist go hunting polar bears. They eventually track one down. Seeing the bear, the Chukcha shouts, "Run!" and flees. The Russian shrugs, calmly raises his gun, and shoots the bear. "Russian hunter, bad hunter!", the Chukcha exclaims. "Ten kilometres to the yaranga, you haul this bear yourself!"

Chukchi, due to their innocence, often see the inner truth of situations.

A Chukcha returning home from Moscow is met with great excitement and interest from his friends. "What is socialism like?" "Oh," begins the Chukcha in awe, "There, everything is for the betterment of man... I even saw that man himself!" (This references the Communist slogan Всё для блага человека!, "Everything for the betterment of man." The "man himself" is usually interpreted as either Lenin in the Mausoleum or whoever was the general secretary at the time, depending on when and where the joke was told.).

Ukrainians

Ukrainians are depicted as rustic, stingy, and inordinately fond of salted salo (pork back fat); their accent, which is imitated, is perceived as funny.
 A Ukrainian tourist is questioned at international customs: "Are you carrying any weapons or drugs?" "What are drugs?" "They make you get high." "Yes, salo." "But salo is not a drug." "When I eat salo, I get high!"
 A Ukrainian is asked, "Can you eat a kilo of apples?" "Yes, I can." "Can you eat two kilos of apples?" "I can." "And five kilos?" "I can." "Can you eat 100 kilos?!" "What I cannot eat, I will nibble!"

Ukrainians are perceived as having a grudge against Russians (derided as Moskali by Ukrainians).
 The Soviet Union has launched the first man into space. A Hutsul shepherd, standing on top of a hill, shouts over to another shepherd on another hill to tell him the news. "Mykola!" "Yes!" "The moskali have flown to space!" "All of them?" "No, just one." "So why are you bothering me, then?" (An oral version may end at the "all of them" sentence, said in a hopeful tone).

Georgians

Georgians are usually depicted as stupid, greedy, hot-blooded, or addicted to sex and sometimes all four. A very loud and theatrical Georgian accent, including grammatical errors considered typical of Georgians, and occasional Georgian words are considered funny to imitate in Russian and often becomes a joke in itself.

In some jokes, Georgians are portrayed as rich, because in Soviet times they were also perceived as profiting from black market businesses. There is a humorous expression deriving from the custom in police reports of referring to them as "persons of Caucasian ethnicity" (). Since the Russian word for "person" in the formal sense, (), is the same as the word for "face", this allows a play on words about "faces of Caucasian ethnicity". In Russia itself, most people see "persons of Caucasian ethnicity" mostly at marketplaces selling fruits and flowers. Later on, many old jokes about rich Georgians were being recast in terms of "New Russians".

 A plane takes off from the Tbilisi airport. A passenger storms the pilot's cabin, waving an AK-47 rifle and demanding that the flight be diverted to Israel. The pilot shrugs in agreement, but suddenly the hijacker's head falls off his shoulders, and a Georgian pops from behind with a blood-drenched dagger, and a huge suitcase: "Lisss'n here genatsvale: No any Israel-Misrael. Fly Moscow nonstop – my roses are wilting!"
 In a zoo, two girls are discussing a gorilla with a huge penis."That's what a real man must have!" A Georgian passer-by remarks, sardonically, "You are badly mistaken, it's not a man, it is a male. This is what a real man must have!" He produces a thick wallet.

Estonians and Finns
Estonians and Finns are depicted as humorless, stubborn, taciturn, and slow. The Estonian accent, especially its sing-song tune and the lack of genders in grammar, forms part of the humor. The Estonian common usage of long vowels and consonants both in speech and orthography (e.g. words such as Tallinn, Saaremaa) also led to the stereotype of being slow in speech, thinking, and action. In the everyday life, a person may be derisively called a "hot-headed Estonian fellow" (or in similar spirit, a "hot-tempered Finnish bloke", a phrase popularized by the 1995 Russian comedy Peculiarities of the National Hunt) to emphasize tardiness or lack of temperament.  Indeed, Estonians play a similar role in Soviet humor to that of Finns in Scandinavian jokes.

Finnish political scientist Ilmari Susiluoto, also an author of three books on Russian humor, writes that Finns and Russians understand each other's humor. "Being included in a Russian anecdote is a privilege that Danes or Dutchmen have not attained. These nations are too boring and unvaried to rise into the consciousness of a large country.  But the funny and slightly silly, stubborn Finns, the  Chukhnas do."

 An Estonian stands by a railway track. Another Estonian passes by on a handcar, pushing the pump up and down. The first one asks, "Iis iitt a llonngg wwayy ttoo Ttallinn?" "Nnoot ttoo llonngg." He gets on the car and joins pushing the pump up and down. After two hours of silent pumping the first Estonian asks again: "Iis iitt a llonngg wwayy ttoo Ttallinn?""Nnnoooowww iiitt iiiis llonngg wwayy."
 "I told some Estonian blokes that they're slow." "What did they reply?" "Nothing, but they beat me up the following day."
 A Finnish family – the parents and two brothers – take car into countryside. An animal crosses the road in front of the car and runs away into the forest. An hour later one brother says, "It is a fox!" Two hours later, the second brother says: "No, it is a wolf!" Three hours later, the father replies: "Well, why don't you have a fight, you hot-headed Finnish guys!"
 Two Finns are sitting near a road. Suddenly, a car passes in a blur. Half an hour later, one Finn asks: "Whaaat waaaaas thaaaat?" Half an hour after that, the other replies: "Thaaaat waaaas Miiiiiiiikaaaa Häaaaaakkiiiiiiineeeeeen, the shaaaame of the Fiiiiinniiish naaaaation"

Finns share with Chukchi their ability to withstand cold.

At −10 °C, the heat is switched on in British homes, while Finns change into a long-sleeved shirt. At −20°, Austrians fly to Málaga, while Finns celebrate midsummer. At −200°, hell freezes over and Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest. (This joke predates the event, previously deemed impossible, of Finland winning the contest, which happened in 2006.)  At −273°, absolute zero temperature is reached, and all atomic movement ceases. The Finns shrug and say: "Perkele, a bit chilly today, isn't it?".

Jews
Jewish humor is a highly developed subset of Russian humor, largely based on the self-image of Russian Jews. The Jewish self-deprecating anecdotes are not the same as anti-Semitic jokes.
Instead, whether told by Jews or non-Jewish Russians, these jokes show cynicism, self-irony, and wit that is characteristic of Jewish humor both in Russia and elsewhere in the world (see Jewish humor). The jokes are usually told with a characteristic Jewish accent (stretching out syllables, parodying the uvular trill of "R", etc.) and some peculiarities of sentence structure calqued into Russian from Yiddish. Many of these jokes are set in Odesa, and to some extent the phrase "Odesa humor" is synonymous with "Jewish jokes," even if the characters don't have Jewish names and even their religion/ethnicity is never mentioned.

 Abram cannot sleep, tossing and turning from side to side... Finally his wife Sarah inquires: "Abram, what's bothering you?" "I owe Moishe 20 roubles, but I have no money. What shall I do?" Sarah bangs on the flimsy wall and shouts to the neighbors: "Moishe! My Abram still owes you 20 roubles? Well he isn't giving them back!" Turning to her husband, she says reassuringly: "Now go to sleep and let Moishe stay awake!"
 An Odesa Jew meets another one. "Have you heard, Einstein has won the Nobel Prize?" "Oy, what for?" "He developed this relativity theory." "Yeah, what's that?" "Well, you know, five hairs on your head is relatively few. Five hairs in your soup is relatively many." "And for that he gets the Nobel Prize?!"
 A Red Guardsman pounds on Abram's door. / He answers through the door: "Yes?" / "Abram, we've come for everything precious." Abram thinks for a moment, and calls out, "Rosa, my precious, someone's here for you!"

During the 1967 Arab–Israeli War sympathies of the ordinary Soviet people were on the side of Israel despite Egypt under Nasser being officially a Soviet ally, "on the Socialist path of development".

A quiet time at the Egypt-Israel frontline. A Jew shouts, "Hey, Abdullah!" A head pops up. "What do you want?" — and catches a bullet. Now an Egyptian shouts, "Hey, Abraham!" — "Who asked Abraham?" A head pops up. "It's me, Abdullah!" — and catches a bullet.
The above joke is in part based on the common  stereotype about Jews that they answer a question with a question.

Chinese

Common jokes center on the enormous size of the Chinese population, the Chinese language and the perceptions of the Chinese as cunning, industrious, and hard-working. Other jokes revolve around the belief that the Chinese are capable of amazing feats by primitive means, such as the Great Leap Forward.

"During the Damansky Island incident the Chinese military developed three main strategies: The Great Offensive, The Small Retreat, and Infiltration by Small Groups of One to Two Million Across the Border".
 In another joke of that time, China developed a strategy to capture all the Soviet Union (or United States, or Japan, etc.): 1. Declare a war. 2. Order soldiers to surrender, ALL of them at once.
 When a child is born in a wealthy Chinese family, there is an ancient tradition: a silver spoon is dropped onto the jade floor. The sound the spoon makes will be the name of the newborn. (see Chinese names)
 The initial report on the first Chinese human spaceflight: "All systems operational, boiler-men on duty!"

A good many of the jokes are puns based on the fact that a widespread Chinese syllable (written as hui in pinyin) looks very similar to the obscene Russian word for penis. For this reason, since about 1956 the Russian-Chinese dictionaries render the Russian transcription of this syllable as "хуэй" (huey) (which actually is closer to the correct Standard Chinese pronunciation).  The most embarrassing case for the Chinese-Soviet friendship probably is the word "socialism" (社会主义; pinyin: shè huì zhǔ yì), rendered previously as шэ-хуй-чжу-и. The following humorous possibilities for the misunderstanding of the Chinese syllable hui are derived from Aarons's (2012) text:
A new Chinese ambassador is to meet Gromyko. When the latter enters, the Chinese presents himself: "Zhui Hui!" Gromyko, unperturbed, retorts "Zhui sam!" The surprised Chinese asks: "And where is Gromyko?" (The pun is that zhui hui (a mock Chinese name) means "chew a dick" in Russian and zhui sam means "chew [it] yourself").
 Сунь Хуй в Чай Вынь Пей Сам, Sun' Huy v Chay Vyn' Pey Sam, (literally meaning "Dip [your] penis into tea, withdraw [and] drink [it], yourself") is a made-up "Chinese name" that is analogous to the English "Who Flung Dung". A suitable English interpretation sounds like "Dip Dick Tea, Back, You Drink". There is another variation of this joke about two Chinese persons: Сунь Хуй в Чай (Sun' Huy v Chay) and Вынь Су Хим (Vyn' Su Him), which can be translated as "Dip [your] penis into tea", and "Take [it] out dry", where a word "сухим" (suhim, meaning "dry") is divided into two syllables "су" (su) and "хим" (him).
 A subset of name-based jokes use the reverse, implying direct Soviet participation in Korean war. Usually "Chinese" pilot Lee See Tsyn is mentioned, being an easily recognizable Russian family name Лисицын (Lisitsyn, from Лисица - "vixen" in Russian). Some versions also include pilots Ku Ree Tsyn, See Nee Tsyn, and Tu Pee Tsyn. These are respectively Курицин, from курица ("hen"), Синицын (синица, "titmouse"), and Тупицын (тупица, "dumb one").

Russians
Russians are a stereotype in Russian jokes themselves when set next to other stereotyped ethnicities. Thus, the Russian appearing in a triple joke with two Westerners, German, French, American or Englishman, will provide for a self-ironic punchline depicting himself as simple-minded and negligently careless but physically robust, which often ensures that he retains the upper hand over his less naive Western counterparts. Another common plot is a Russian holding a contest with technologically-superior opponents (usually, an American and a Japanese) and winning with sheer brute force or a clever trick.

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are captured by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request." The German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets it, and then the cannibals eat him. The Frenchman asks for three girls. He has crazy sex with them, and then suffers the fate of the German. The Russian demands: "Hit me hard, right on my nose!" The chief is surprised, but hits him. The Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov and shoots all the cannibals. The mortally-wounded chief asks him: "Why didn't you do this before we ate the German?" The Russian proudly replies: "Russians are not aggressors!" (This joke has also been used as a Jewish joke; more specifically, as an Israeli joke, alluding to Israel's being constantly afraid of being seen as the "aggressor".)

A Chukcha sits on the shore of the Bering Strait. An American submarine surfaces. The American captain opens the hatch and asks: "Which way is Alaska?" The Chukcha points his finger: "That way!" / "Thanks!" says the American, shouts "South-South-East, bearing 159.5 degrees!" down the hatch and the submarine submerges. Ten minutes later, a Soviet submarine emerges. The Russian captain opens the hatch and asks the Chukcha: "Where did the American submarine go?" The Chukcha replies: "South-South-East bearing 159.5 degrees!" "Don't be a smart-ass", says the captain, "just point your finger!"
 A Frenchman, a Japanese, and a Russian are captured by an alien. He locks them in cells and demands that they amaze him using two steel balls – the winner will be released, the others will be executed. A week later, the Frenchman demonstrates a juggling trick with the balls. The Japanese has created a rock garden. However the Russian is declared winner: he broke one ball, and lost another one.

Jokes from "vicious nineties"
"Vicious 90s" (:ru:Лихие девяностые) refers to the period of transition from communism to "jungle capitalism" in the history of Russia, characrerized by the rise of Russian oligarchs accompanied with the growing poverty of common people and banditism.
Will your bank give a loan for my word of honor?"
"No problem..."
"And what if I don't return it?"
"Then you will be ashamed when you appear before the Allmighty."
"But that's far in the future, right?"
"If you don't return it on the fifth, on the sixth you will meet Him."
In the cloakroom of a theatre: "Would you like binoculars?" - "No, thanks, I have a laser sight.

New Russians

New Russians (Russian: новые русские, Novye Russkie, the nouveau-riche), a rich class of businessmen and gangsters in post-perestroika, were a very common category of characters in Russian jokes of the 1990s. A common theme is the interaction of a New Russian in his archetypal shiny black Mercedes S600, arguing with a regular Russian in his modest Soviet-era Zaporozhets after their vehicles collide. The New Russian is often a violent criminal or at least speaks criminal argot, with a number of neologisms (or common words with skewed meaning) typical among New Russians. In a way, these anecdotes are a continuation of the Soviet-era series about Georgians, who were then depicted as extremely wealthy. The physical stereotype of the New Russians is often that of overweight men with short haircuts, dressed in thick gold chains and crimson jackets, with their fingers in the horns gesture, cruising around in the "600 Merc" and showing off their wealth. Jokes about expensive foreign sports cars can be compared to German Manta jokes.

A New Russian's son complains to his father: "Daddy, all my schoolmates are riding the bus, and I look like a black sheep in this 600 Merc." / "No worries, son. I'll buy you a bus, and you'll ride like everyone else!"
A New Russian buys a new car. His fellow asks: "Why do you need it, you've bought brand new car a month ago!" / "Its ashtray is already full".
A New Russian's son complains to his father: "Daddy, I've met a beautiful girl, but she agrees to walk with me only if I have Mercedes and 3-floor house" - "Okay, son, I'm ready to buy you Mercedes if she doesn't like your Ferrari, but not to demolish two floors of our house for this foolish girl!"
A New Russian brags to his colleague: "Look at my new tie. I bought it for 500 dollars in the store over there." / "You were conned. You could have paid twice as much for the same one just across the street!"

Linguistic quirks
Like elsewhere in the world, a good many of jokes in Russia are based on puns. Other jokes depend on grammatical and linguistic oddities and irregularities in the Russian language:

 (L) The genitive plural of a noun (used with a numeral to indicate five or more of something, as opposed to the dual, used for two, three, or four, see  Russian nouns) is a rather unpredictable form of the Russian noun, and there are a handful of words which even native speakers have trouble producing this form of (either due to rarity or an actual lexical gap). A common example of this is kocherga (fireplace poker). The joke is set in a Soviet factory. Five pokers are to be requisitioned. The correct forms are acquired, but as they are being filled out, a debate arises: what is the genitive plural of kocherga? Is it Kocherg? Kocherieg? Kochergov?... One thing is clear: a form with the wrong genitive plural of kocherga will bring disaster from the typically pedantic bureaucrats. Finally, an old janitor overhears the commotion, and tells them to send in two separate requisitions: one for two kochergi and another for three kochergi. In some versions, they send in a request for 4 kochergi and one extra, to find out the correct word, only to receive back "here are your 4 kochergi and one extra."
 (The correct answer is кочерёг (kocheryog), see its Russian Wiktionary entry.)
A basically identical plot by Mikhail Zoshchenko involves yet another answer: after great care and multiple drafts to get the genitive case correct, including the substitution of "five штук (pieces)" for "five pokers", the response comes back: the warehouse has no kocherezhek (fully regular genitive plural of kocherezhka, "little poker").

Eggs

The Russian word for "testicle" is a diminutive of "egg", so the slang word is the non-diminutive form (yaitso, cf. Spanish huevo). A large variety of jokes capitalize on this:
A man jumps onto a bus and falls over another man, who is holding a large sack and cries out: "Watch the eggs!" / "Are you stupid? Who would carry eggs in a sack?" / "Watch your eggs. This sack is full of nails!"
There is an exhibit of a precious jeweled Fabergé egg at the Hermitage Museum. The label reads: "Fabergé / Self-portrait (fragment)"
A train compartment holds a family: a small daughter, her mother, and grandma. A fourth passenger is a Georgian (See jokes about Georgians). The mother starts feeding a soft-boiled egg to the daughter with a silver spoon. / Grandma: "Don't you know that eggs can spoil silver?" / "Who would have known!", thinks the Georgian, and he hastily moves his silver cigarette case from his front pants pocket to the back one.
Vladimir Putin, in one of his 2002 putinisms noticed by media, exploited this pun; when asked of his opinion about portraits of presidents painted on Easter eggs, he answered: "I don't know what they paint on their eggs; I haven't seen." This is reminiscent of the following joke: A Russian invites his new American friend, a student of Russian culture, to meet his family during the Easter period:  "Please meet my mother!" / "Oh, your mother! My respects!" / "That's my sister!" / "Oh, your sister! Charmed!" / "And my brother is in the kitchen, painting the eggs." / "Oh, a hippie! We have them too!"

Religion

Some religious jokes make fun of the clergy. They tend to be told in quasi-Church Slavonic, with its archaisms and the stereotypical okanye (a clear pronunciation of the unstressed /o/ as [o]; Modern Russian or "Muscovite" speech reduces unstressed /o/ to [ɐ]). Clergymen in these jokes always bear obsolete names of distinctively Greek origin, and speak in a deep voice.

 (L) At the lesson of the Holy Word: "Disciple Dormidontiy, pray tell me, is the soul separable from the body or not." / "Separable, Father." / "Verily speakest thou. Substantiate thy reckoning." / "Yesterday morning, Father, I was passing by your cell and overheard your voice chanting: [imitates basso voicing] '... And now, my soul, arise and get thee dressed.' " / "Substantiatum est... But in vulgar!" (The Russian phrase that translates literally as "my soul" is a term of endearment, often toward romantic partners, comparable to English "my darling")
 A young woman in a miniskirt jumps onto a bus. The bus starts abruptly, and she falls onto the lap of a seated priest. Surprised, she looks down and exclaims, "Wow!" / "It's not a 'wow!', my daughter", says the priest, "it is the key to the Cathedral of Christ the Saviour!".

Afterlife
Other jokes touching on religion involve Heaven or Hell. They usually focus on the attempts to settle in Afterlife in a non-trivial way, or how different nationalities/professions/occupations are treated. Jokes about specific people going to Hell and receiving fitting punishment are common as well. Rarer variants include jokes about historic figures coming back from beyond to observe or settle issues of modern Russia.
 A Communist died, and since he was an honest man albeit atheist, he was sentenced to alternate spending one year in Hell and one year in Heaven. One year passed and Satan said to God: "Take this man as fast as possible. Because he turned all my young demons into Young Pioneers, I have to restore some order." Another year passed, Satan meets God again and tells him: "Lord God, it's my turn now." God replied: "First of all, don't call me Lord God, but instead Comrade God; second, there is no God; and one more thing – don't distract me or I'll be late to the Party meeting."
A Russian and an American are sentenced to Hell. The Devil summons them and says: "Guys, you have 2 options: an American or Russian Hell. In the American one you can do what you want, but you'll have to eat a bucket of shit every morning. The Russian one is the same, but it's 2 buckets." The Yankee quickly makes up his mind and goes to American Hell, while the Russian eventually chooses the Russian one. In a week or so they meet. The Russian asks: "So, what's it like out there?"/ "Exactly what the devil said, the Hell itself is OK, but eating a bucket of shit is killing me. And you?" / "Ah, it feels just like home – either the shit doesn't get delivered or there aren't enough buckets for everyone!"
An American, a Hindu, and a Russian land in Purgatory. A grey-winged angel with a huge whip hanging from his belt meets them and says: "Alright, here's the rules. Anyone who takes three strikes from my whip without screaming, can go straight to Heaven. You can shield yourselves with whatever you like. We've got everything here. Who's first?" The American steps forward. "Alright, you've got three hours to prepare yourself." The American puts on a full-body Kevlar outfit, gets into a tank, drives it into a concrete bunker, the bunker is covered with 15 feet of dirt and inch-thick titanium plates. The angel unravels his whip. SNAP! The titanium and the dirt are gone. SNAP! The bunker and tank are gone. SNAP! The American howls in pain, the ground opens up under his feet and he drops straight to Hell. "Next!", says the angel. The Hindu steps forward. "You've got three hours to prepare yourself." / "I need only five minutes. I have studied Yoga all my life and can make myself immune to all pain." The Hindu gets into a lotus position, hums mantras for a few minutes, and rises a couple of inches off the ground. The angel unravels his whip. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! The Hindu is completely unfazed. "Hmm, impressive. Alright, you're free to go." / "Thank you, but only after I see how this last one makes it out of this", says the Hindu, looking at the Russian. / "Your call." / The angel turns to the Russian: "What are you going to shield yourself with?" / "With the Hindu, of course."

Russian military
In Russian military jokes, a  praporschik (warrant officer) is an archetypal bully, possessed of limited wit.

A. Dmitriev illustrates his sociological essay "Army Humor" with a large number of military jokes, mostly of Russian origin.

There is an enormous number of one-liners, supposedly quoting a praporschik:
"Private Ivanov, dig a trench from me to the next scarecrow!"
"Private Ivanov, dig a trench from the fence to lunchtime!"
"Don't make clever faces at me — you're future officers, now act accordingly!"
The punchline "from the fence to lunchtime" has become a well-known Russian cliché for an assignment with no defined ending (or for doing something forever).

Some of them are philosophical and apply not just to warrant officers:
Scene One: A tree. An apple. An ape comes and starts to shake the tree. A voice from above: "Think, think!" The ape thinks, grabs a stick, and knocks the apple off.
Scene Two: A tree. An apple. A praporschik comes and starts to shake the tree. A voice from above: "Think, think!" / "There is nothing to think about, gotta shake!"

A persistent theme in Russian military, police and law-enforcement-related jokes is the ongoing conflict between the representatives of the armed forces/law enforcement, and the "intelligentsia", i.e. well-educated members of society. Therefore, this theme is a satire of the image of military/law-enforcement officers and superiors as dumb and distrustful of "those educated smart-alecks":
A commander announces: – "The platoon has been assigned to unload 'luminum, the lightest iron in the world". A trooper responds, "Permission to speak... It's 'aluminium', not 'luminum', and it's one of the lightest metals in the world, not the lightest 'iron' in the world." The commander retorts: "The platoon is going to unload 'luminum... and the intelligentsia are going to unload 'castum ironum'!" (The Russian words are lyuminiy and chuguniy).

Until shortly before perestroika, all fit male students of higher education had obligatory military ROTC courses from which they graduated as junior officers in the military reserve. A good many of military jokes originated there:
 "Soviet nuclear bombs are 25% more efficient than the Atomic Bombs of the probable adversary. American bombs have 4 zones of effect: A, B, C, D, while ours have five: А, Б, В, Г, Д!" (the first five letters of the Russian alphabet, they are transliterated into Latin as A, B, V, G, D).
 "A nuclear bomb always hits ground zero."
 "Suppose we have a unit of M tanks... no, M is not enough. Suppose we have a unit of N tanks!"
 Angry threat to an idle student: "I ought to drag you out into the open field, shove you face-first against a wall, and shoot you between the eyes with a shotgun, so that you'd remember it for the rest of your life!"
 Cadets, write down: "the temperature of boiling water is 90°." / One of the privates replies, "Comrade praporshchik, you're mistakenit's 100°!" / The officer consults his handbook, and then announces, "Right, 100°. It is the right angle that boils at 90°."
 Cadets, now write down: "This device works at a temperature between −400 and 400 degrees Celsius." / "Comrade praporshchik, there is no such temperature as −400 degrees!" / "What would you know, it's a brand new, secret device!" (Note that Russia uses the Celsius scale.)

Sometimes, these silly statements can cross over, intentionally or unintentionally, into the realm of actual wit:
 "Cadet, explain why you have come to class wearing the uniform of our probable military adversary!" (most probably, the instructor means jeans made in the United States) The  reply is: "Because they are a probable war trophy!"

There are jokes about Russian nuclear missile forces and worldwide disasters because of lack of basic army discipline:

 A missile silo officer falls asleep during his watch, with his face on the control board, and accidentally hits the "big red button". / An angry colonel bursts in, the junior officer snaps awake and proudly announces: "Nothing to report during my watch, Comrade Colonel" / "Nothing to report, you say?! Nothing to report?!! So where the hell is Belgium?!!!"
 Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, two submarines, Soviet and American, come to the surface. The Soviet one is old and rusty; the American one is new and sleek matte black. On the Soviet one, the crew lounges about lazily, and a drunken captain yells at them: "Who threw a valenok (traditional Russian winter footwear made of felt) on the control board? I'm asking you, who threw a valenok on the control board?!" / From the American submarine, a clean-shaven, sober, and smartly-dressed captain yells scornfully: "You know, folks, in America..." / The Russian captain dismissively interrupts him: "America??! Ain't no fucking America no more!!" [He turns back to his crew] "Who threw a valenok on the control board?!"

There is also eternal mutual disdain between servicemen and civilians:
Civilian: "You servicemen are dumb. We civilians are smart!" / Serviceman: "If you are so smart, then why don't you march in single file?"

Jokes along this tendency are also re-worded to exploit interservice rivalries.  For instance:

Army man: "You Navy folks are dumb. We soldiers are smart!" / Sailor: "If you are so smart, then why don't you wear telnyashkas?"

The response, from Army men, is the civilian joke above.

Black humor

Gulag
A new prisoner is asked, "So how long are you in for?". He replies, "Twenty years."
The veteran prisoner is surprised: "Twenty?? What on earth could you have done?" The new man replies indignantly, "I did nothing, comrade! Honest!" The veteran says, "But the sentence for doing nothing is only ten years."

Chernobyl
 An old woman stands in the market with a "Chernobyl mushrooms for sale" sign.  A man goes up to her and asks: "Hey, what are you doing?  Who's going to buy Chernobyl mushrooms?" / "Well, lots of people. Some for their boss, others for their mother-in-law..."
 A grandson asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?" / "Yes, there was", answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head. / "Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?" / "Yes, absolutely", answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.
 A Soviet newspaper reports: "Last night the Chernobyl Nuclear Power station fulfilled the Five Year Plan of heat energy generation... in 4 microseconds." (A poke on common Soviet reports about speedy execution of five-year plans.)
 "Is it true, that you may eat meat from Chernobyl?" / "Yes, you may. But your feces will need to be buried in concrete 30 feet deep underground."
 "It's very difficult to gather mushrooms in Chernobyl; they scramble in all directions when you approach."

Medical
Medical jokes are widespread. Often, they consist of a short dialogue of doctor or nurse with a patient:
 An autopsy of a dead patient revealed that cause of death was... an autopsy.
 "Nurse, where are we going?" / "To the morgue."/ "But I haven't died yet!"/ "Well, we haven't arrived yet."
 "Nurse, where are we going?" / "To the morgue."/ "But I haven't died yet!"/ "The doc said 'to the morgue' — to the morgue it is!" / "But what is wrong with me?!" / "The autopsy will show!"

The phrase "The doc said 'to the morgue' — to the morgue it is!" (Доктор сказал «в морг» — значит, в морг!) became a well-known Russian cliché, meaning that something must be done whenever it makes sense or not.

University students
The life of most Russian university students is characterized by many people coming from small towns and crowded into grim dormitories. State universities (the only type of universities in existence during Soviet times) are notable for not caring about the students' comfort or the quality of their food. Most jokes make fun of these "interesting" conditions, inventive evasion by students of their academic duties or lecture attendance, constant shortage of money, and sometimes the alcoholic tendencies of engineering students.

Nutrition
 A sign in a student dining hall: "Students, do not drop your food on the floor, two cats have already been poisoned!"
 A crocodile's stomach can digest concrete.  A student's stomach can digest that of a crocodile.
 A student in the canteen: "Can I have 2 wieners... [he hears whispers all around: "Look at the rich guy!"] ...and 17 forks, please?"

Drinking
 A very rumpled student peers into an exam room and slurs at the examiner: "Pp-proffessosssor, wou'd you al-low a drunk student tt-o tt-ake the exam?..." / The professor sighs and says, "Sure, why not?" / The rumpled student turns around and slurs into the hallway: "G-guys, c-carry 'im in."

Study
Also, there are a number of funny student obsessions such as zachyotka (a book of grade transcripts, carried by every student), khalyava (a chance of getting something (in this context, good or acceptable grades) without any effort), and getting a stipend for good grades. Jokes about student life (filled with relationships, alcohol, and a permanent lack of any money) are common.

A large number of jokes are about an exam: these are usually a dialogue between the professor and the student, based on a set of questions written on a bilet (a small sheet of paper, literally "ticket"), which the student draws at random in the exam room, and is given some time to prepare answers. Many jokes refer to students trying to pass an exam with little or no knowledge at all (khalyava as mentioned above).
 Students are asked how quickly they can learn the Japanese language. American student: "I need 6 months and I will pass any exam!". German student: "I think I can do it in three months!". Russian student is asked while he's smoking outside: "Hmmm... Do you have a textbook? / Yes? / Then let me finish the cigarette and we're good to go to that exam."
 A professor enters the lectorium on the exam day. "Alright slackers, a question for A grade, what's my name? (angry yelling in the back rows) Alright, a B grade question, what's the color of the handbook cover? (angry yelling) Fine, a C grade question: what's the discipline the exam is on? / We are all gonna fail if he keeps this up!"

Other jokes use the fact that many (or even most) students really study only when the exam is in the imminent future (in one or two days), otherwise spending time with more interesting activities such as parties.
 God sends his angel to find out what students do. Angel returns: "Three months before exams. English students study, American students have parties, Russians also have parties". Next time angel reports: "One month before exams. English and Americans study, Russians have parties". Next report: "One night before exams. English and American students learn their subjects, Russians pray for khalyava". God: "Well, if they pray, we'll help them!"

Cowboys

Cowboy jokes are a series about a Wild West full of trigger-happy simple-minded cowboys, and the perception that everything is big in Texas. It is often difficult to guess whether these are imported or genuinely Russian inventions:
In a saloon: "The guy over there really pisses me off!" / "There are four of them; which one?" / [the sound of three shots is heard] / "The one still standing!"
Variant: "The guy over there saved my life yesterday, I am really grateful to him." / [a gunshot] / "The one that has fallen!"
Two cowboys, a newcomer and an old-timer, are drinking beer in front of a saloon. Suddenly, there is a clatter of hooves, a great cloud of dust, and something moving extremely fast from one end of town to the other. The newcomer looks at the old-timer, but seeing no reaction, decides to let the matter drop. However, several minutes later, the same cloud of dust, accompanied by the clatter of hooves, rapidly proceeds in the other direction. Not being able to see what's behind the dust, and unable to contain his curiosity any longer, the newcomer asks: "OK, what the hell was that, Bill?" / "Oh, that's Uncatchable Joe. Nobody has ever managed to catch him, Harry." / "Why? Is he so fast, Bill?" / "Nope, it's just because nobody needs him, Harry." ('Variant: "Nobody cares about him")
The "Uncatchable Joe" () has become an ironic nickname in Russia for various difficult-to-find persons (not necessarily unimportant ones). It is suggested that the nickname and the joke originated from a 1923 satirical novel An Uncatchable Enemy: American Novel by Mikhail Kozyrev (:ru:Козырев, Михаил Яковлевич) which contained a funny song about a Joe who was uncatchable because no one needed him.

A joke making fun of American films and their pirated English-to-Russian dubbing:
Two cowboys are standing at crossroads in a prairie. / "Fuck, Bob!" (Voice-over: Where does this road lead to, Bob?) / "Shit, John!" (Voice-over: It leads to Texas, John) / "Fuck, Bob!" (Voice-over: Hell, we don't need to go to Texas, Bob!) / "Shit, John!" (Voice-over: Don't swear, John)

Disabilities
There is a series of jokes set in mental hospitals, some of which have a political subtext:
A lecturer visits the mental hospital and gives a lecture about how great communism is. Everybody claps loudly except for one person who keeps quiet. The lecturer asks: "Why aren't you clapping?" and the person replies "I'm not a psycho, I just work here."
A reporter interviews a lead doctor in the asylum: "How do you understand that a patient is sane enough to be released? / Well, we have a simple test: we give the patient a spoon and a tea cup and tell him to empty a full bathtub of water! / (laughing) Well, doctor, I assume a sane person will use the cup, not a spoon? / No, a sane person will pull the plug."

A large number of jokes are about distrofiks, people with severe marasmus (termed "alimentary dystrophy" in Russian). The main themes are the extreme weakness, slowness, gauntness, and emaciation of a dystrophic patient. Some of the jibes originated in jokes about Gulag camps. Alexander Solzhenitsyn, in his Gulag Archipelago, wrote that dystrophy was a typical phase in the life of a Gulag inmate, and quotes the following joke:
In order to refute international rumors, Stalin allowed a foreign delegation to inspect some Gulag camps. As a result, a foreign reporter wrote "a zek is lazy, gluttonous, and deceiving". Unfortunately, the same reporter soon landed in a Gulag as an inmate himself. When later released, he instead wrote "a zek is lean, ringing, and transparent" (Russian: tonkiy, zvonkiy, and prozrachny).
Muscular dystrophy patients are playing hide and seek in the hospital: "Vovka, where are you?" / "I'm here, behind this broomstick!" / "Hey, didn't we have an agreement not to hide behind thick objects?"
A jovial doctor comes into a dystrophy ward: "Greetings, eagles!" (a Russian cliché in addressing brave soldiers) / "We're not eagles. We're only flying because the nurse turned the fan on!"
A dystrophy patient is lying in bed and shouting: "Nurse! Nurse!" / "What is it now?" / "Kill the fly! It's trampling on my chest!"

Taboo vocabulary
The very use of obscene Russian vocabulary, called mat, can enhance the humorous effect of a joke by its emotional impact. Due to the somewhat different cultural attitude to obscene slang, such an effect is difficult to render in English. The taboo status often makes mat itself the subject of a joke. One typical plot goes as follows.

A construction site expects an inspection from the higher-ups, so a foreman warns the boys to watch their tongues. During the inspection, a hammer is accidentally dropped from the fourth floor right on a worker's head... The punch line is an exceedingly polite, classy rebuke from the mouth of the injured, rather than a typically expected "#@&%$!". For example the injured worker might say: "Dear co-workers, could you please watch your tools a little more carefully, so as to prevent such cases and avoid work-place injuries?" In another variant of the joke the punch line is "Vasya, please desist in pouring molten tin over my head".

Another series of jokes exploits the richness of the mat vocabulary, which can give a substitute to a great many words of everyday conversation. Other languages often use profanity in a similar way (like the English fuck, for example), but the highly synthetic grammar of Russian provides for the unambiguity and the outstandingly great number of various derivations from a single mat root. Emil Draitser points out that linguists explain that the linguistic properties of the Russian language rich in affixes allows for expression of a wide variety of feelings and notions using only a few core mat words:
An agenda item on working conditions at a trade union meeting of a Soviet plant. Locksmith Ivanov takes the floor: "Mother fuckers!... Go fuck yourself!... Fuck you and you too again!..." A voice from the audience: "Right to the point, Vasya! we won't work without work robes!"

References

In English
Emil Draitser Forbidden Laughter (Los Angeles: Almanac Press, 1980.)
 Seth Graham (2003) A Cultural Analysis of the Russo-Soviet Anekdot. Doctoral Dissertation, University of Pittsburgh.
Jonathan Waterlow, It's Only a Joke, Comrade! Humour, Trust and Everyday Life under Stalin (2018)
Emil Draitser Taking Penguins to the Movies: Ethnic Humor in Russia (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 1999.)
Bruce Adams, Tiny Revolution Russia: Twentieth Century Soviet and Russian History in Anecdotes and Jokes
Reflective Laughter: Aspects of Humour in Russian Culture (Anthem Slavic and Russian Studies)
Ethnic Humor Around the World: A Comparative Analysis
Consuming Russia: Popular Culture, Sex, and Society since Gorbachev, contains an essay about Russian jokes
Christie Davies, Jokes and Their Relation to Society (1998) ,  Chapter 5: "Stupidity and rationality: Jokes from the iron cage" (about jokes from beyond the Iron Curtain)
Contemporary Russian Satire: A Genre Study
Laughter through tears: Underground wit, humor, and satire in the Soviet Russian Empire
Is That You Laughing Comrade? the World's Best Russian (Underground Jokes)
Rodger Swearingen, What's so funny, comrade? (1961) ASIN B0007DX2Z0
The Cambridge Companion to Modern Russian Culture; section "Popular Culture" discusses Russian narrative jokes (anekdot) and chastushkas: ... further "wise fool" figures, such as brave Red Army commander Chapayev, hippies, Cheburashka and Cornet Rzhevsky have replaced Ivan the Fool
"Eros and Pornography in Russian Culture." Edited by Marcus C. Levitt and Andrei L. Toporkov. In the Series "Russkaia potaennaia literatura." Ladomir Publishers, Moscow, 1999. 700 p (review) Section "Pornography in Russia today" contains a chapter on contemporary Russian humor
Draitser, Emil, "The Rise and Fall of the New Russians," in Uncensored? Reinventing Humor and Satire in Post-Soviet Russia by Seth Graham and Olga Mezropova, eds. Slavica Publishers, 2008, 79–98.

In Russian
"Eto prosto smeshno, ili, Zerkalo krivogo korolevstva: Anekdoty : sistemnyi analiz, sintez i klassifikatsiia"
"U Mikrofona Armianskoe Radio" (1995)
Sotsiologiia iumora: Ocherki (1996)  Russian Academy of Science,
Sovetskii Soiuz v zerkale politicheskogo anekdota

Other
Ilmari Susiluoto
Työ tyhmästä pitää, venäläisen huumorin aakkoset ("Only a Fool Likes to Work: The ABCs of Russian humour"), Ajatuskustannus, 2000
 Takaisin Neuvostoliittoon (2006) ("Back to the USSR") — A review, Helsingin Sanomat, 9/5/2006 : "Soviet nostalgia lives on in Russian anecdotes: Finnish political scientist examines post-Soviet humour in new book" (review in English)
Radio Yerevan jokes

Russian language
Jokes
Russian humour
Military humor

Russian jokes


Sexy is an adjective to describe a sexually appealing person (or thing), primarily referring to physical attractiveness. It may also refer to:
 Sexual arousal, the arousal of sexual desire, during or in anticipation of sexual activity
 Sexual attraction, meaning anything which has the ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of a person

Arts and media

Music
 Sexy (Klymaxx song), a song by Klymaxx
 "Sexy (Is the Word)", a song by Melissa Tkautz
 "Sexy", a song by Bad Gyal
 "Sexy", a song by The Black Eyed Peas, from the album Elephunk
 "Sexy", a song by Faraón Love Shady
 "Sexy", a song by French Affair
 "Sexy", a song by Australian Idol season 3 contestant Roxane LeBrasse
 "Sexy", a song by Les Jumo feat. Mohombi
 S.E.X.Y., an EP by TQ
 "S-E-X-X-Y", a song by They Might Be Giants
 Sexy Sadie, a song by The Beatles

Other media
 Sexy (novel), a 2005 novel by Joyce Carol Oates
 "Sexy" (Glee), a 2011 episode from the series' second season
 S3XY, standing for the Telsa EV models S, 3, X and Y respectively, intentionally selected to spell "sexy" on the Tesla web site; see List of Easter eggs in Tesla products#S3XY

Other uses
 Sexy, Peru, a populated place in Peru
 Sexy prime, a pair of prime numbers that differ by six

See also

Sex (disambiguation)

Sexy


Don Edward Fagenson (born September 13, 1952), known professionally as Don Was (), is an American musician, record producer, music director, film composer, documentary filmmaker and radio host. Since 2011, he has also served as president of the American jazz label Blue Note Records.

For his work as a record producer, he has won six Grammy Awards, including Album of the Year in 1989 for Bonnie Raitt's Nick of Time and Producer of the Year in 1994. In 1995 he produced and directed a documentary about the life of Brian Wilson, I Just Wasn't Made for These Times, that won the San Francisco Film Festival's Golden Gate Award. As a film composer, he won the 1994 British Academy Award (BAFTA) for Best Original Score in recognition of his work on the film Backbeat. He won the 2014 Emmy Award for Outstanding Music Direction for his work on the CBS TV special The Beatles: The Night That Changed America.

Records that he has produced have sold close to 100 million albums for a wide range of artists including The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson,  John Mayer, Wayne Shorter, Kris Kristofferson, Iggy Pop, The B-52s, Brian Wilson, Elton John, Garth Brooks and Ryan Adams.

Primarily known as a bassist, he has toured as a member of Bob Weir and The Wolf Bros since 2018.

Life and career
Born in Detroit, Michigan, United States, Was graduated from Oak Park High School in the Detroit suburb of Oak Park, then attended the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor but dropped out after the first year. A journeyman musician, he grew up listening to the Detroit blues sound and the jazz music of John Coltrane and Miles Davis, amongst many others. As a teenager, Was took further influence from 1960s counterculture, most notably John Sinclair.

In high school, Was became the lead singer and guitar player in a Detroit rock band called the Saturns.

Using the stage name "Don Was", he formed the group Was (Not Was) with school friend David Weiss (David Was). The group found commercial success in the 1980s – releasing four albums and logging several hit records. Their biggest hit was "Walk the Dinosaur", from their album What up, Dog? A jazz/R&B album of Hank Williams covers, "Forever's A Long, Long Time" was released in 1997, under the name Orquestra Was. In 2008, Was (Not Was) reunited for a new album titled Boo! and tour.

Was has received six Grammy Awards including the 1994 Grammy Award for Producer of the Year. He produced several albums for Bonnie Raitt including her Nick of Time album that won the 1989 Grammy Award for Album of the Year. Don also collaborated with co-producer Ziggy Marley, on Family Time, winner of 2009's Best Musical Album For Children. He produced the Rolling Stones' 2016 album Blue and Lonesome, which won the Grammy for Best Traditional Blues album.

He served as music director and/or consultant for several motion pictures such as Thelma and Louise, The Rainmaker,  Hope Floats, Phenomenon, Tin Cup, Honeymoon in Vegas, 8 Seconds, Switch, The Freshman, Days of Thunder, Michael, Prêt-à-Porter, Boys on the Side, Toy Story and The Paper.

In 1995, he directed and produced a documentary, I Just Wasn't Made for These Times, about former Beach Boy Brian Wilson. The film debuted at the Sundance Film Festival and won the San Francisco Film Festival's Golden Gate Award. He also received the British Academy Award (BAFTA) for Best Original Score in recognition of his compositions for the film Backbeat.

Was, who is a fan of the Rolling Stones and saw them in concert when he was age 12 in 1964, has produced for the band since 1994, working on their albums Voodoo Lounge, Stripped, Bridges to Babylon, Forty Licks, Live Licks, A Bigger Bang and Blue & Lonesome. He also worked on the Rolling Stones' reissues Exile on Main Street, released in May 2010 and Some Girls released in October 2011. Was scoured old master recordings of the albums for lost gems, remastering some songs while producing entirely new vocals and tracks on others.

Was also produced the B-52's 1989 album Cosmic Thing, which included their smash hit "Love Shack".

Since 2008, Was has hosted the proceedings (and led the house band) at the Detroit All-Star Revue, an annual showcase of local acts from the Detroit music scene.

From 2009 to 2012, Don hosted a weekly radio show on Sirius XM satellite radio's Outlaw Country channel called The Motor City Hayride. During the 2011 season of American Idol, Was appeared in several episodes producing contestants Haley Reinhart, Scotty McCreery, Paul McDonald, Lauren Alaina and Casey Abrams.

In January 2012, he was appointed president of the jazz record label, Blue Note Records in succession to Bruce Lundvall.

He won the 2014 Emmy Award for Outstanding Music Direction for his work on the CBS TV special "The Beatles: The Night That Changed America."

On November 18, 2015, at DAR Constitution Hall in Washington DC, he led the house band that performed at a concert celebrating Willie Nelson, recipient of the 2015 Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.

In 2018, Was joined former Grateful Dead guitarist Bob Weir and drummer Jay Lane to form Wolf Bros, a trio which undertook a North American tour in the Fall of 2018, and continued with a second tour of twenty more shows in the Spring of 2019.

On April 16, 2021, Was debuted a new radio show, the Don Was Motor City Playlist on WDET-FM, Detroit's NPR station, with co-host Ann Delisi.

Was played bass on the mid-2021 Bob Dylan recordings of "Blowin' in the Wind," "Masters of War," "The Times They Are A-Changin' (song)," "Simple Twist of Fate," "Gotta Serve Somebody," and "Not Dark Yet" produced by T-Bone Burnett and recorded and mixed by Michael Piersante for a one-time sale as Ionic Originals.

In 2023, it was announced that Was would join former Dead & Co. members Weir, Lane, Jeff Chimenti, Oteil Burbridge, & Mickey Hart as part of Dead Ahead, a four-day festival in Cancun, Mexico in early 2024.

Personal life
Don is the son of World War II veteran and Bronze Star Medal awardee Bill Fagenson, who served with the 96th Infantry, 381st Regiment. Don's sister is Nancy Potok, former Chief Statistician of the United States.

Don is married to former Virgin Records A&R executive and video director Gemma Corfield, and they have three sons who are also musicians—Tony, who played in Eve 6, Henry who plays in Thumpasaurus and Justin Jay's Fantastic Voyage, and Solomon who has played in Leven Kali and Felly.

Selected discography
 1981:  Was (Not Was) – Was (Not Was) (bass, synthesizer, vocals, producer)
 1982: The Beat Goes On – Orbit featuring Carol Hall (co-producer)
 1983: Born to Laugh at Tornadoes – Was (Not Was) (producer, bass, keyboards, engineer)
 1984: Breathless – Figures on a Beach (producer)
 1984: Into the Hot – Floy Joy (producer)
 1985: Spoiled Girl – Carly Simon (producer)
 1986  Weak in the Presence of Beauty – Floy Joy (producer)
 1986  Madness of It All – The Ward Brothers (producer)
 1986  "Cross That Bridge" – The Ward Brothers (producer)
 1988: What Up, Dog? – Was (Not Was) (producer, engineer, bass, guitar, keyboards)
 1989: Nick of Time – Bonnie Raitt (keyboards, producer)
 1989: Cosmic Thing – The B-52s (producer)
 1990: Take It to Heart – Michael McDonald (programming, producer, synthesizer, sequencing, synthesizer programming)
 1990: Brick by Brick – Iggy Pop (producer)
 1990: Under the Red Sky – Bob Dylan (bass, producer)
 1990: To Be Continued – Elton John (producer)
 1991: Khaled – Khaled (producer, bass, keyboards)
 1991: Are You Okay? – Was (Not Was) (producer, bass, engineer, guitar, vocals)
 1991: Luck of the Draw – Bonnie Raitt (producer)
 1991: The Fire Inside – Bob Seger (bass, producer)
 1992: Kirya – Ofra Haza (producer)
 1992: Arkansas Traveler – Michelle Shocked (producer)
 1992: Time Takes Time – Ringo Starr (producer)
 1992: Good Stuff – The B-52s (producer)
 1992: Read My Lips – A Thousand Points of Night (one-off side project alias)
 1992: Strange Weather – Glenn Frey (producer)
 1992: King of Hearts – Roy Orbison (producer, organ, background vocals)
 1992: Never Been Rocked Enough – Delbert McClinton (producer)
 1993: Across the Borderline – Willie Nelson (producer)
 1993: Thousand Roads – David Crosby (producer)
 1993: I'm Alive – Jackson Browne (producer)
 1994: Longing in Their Hearts – Bonnie Raitt (double bass on track 5, producer)
 1994: Voodoo Lounge – The Rolling Stones (producer)
 1994: Waymore's Blues (Part II) – Waylon Jennings (producer and bass)
 1995: The Road Goes on Forever – The Highwaymen (producer)
 1995: MTV Unplugged – Bob Dylan (mixing)
 1995: I Just Wasn't Made for These Times – Brian Wilson (producer)
 1995: Road Tested – Bonnie Raitt (producer)
 1995: Stripped – The Rolling Stones (producer, organ)
 1996: The Restless Kind – Travis Tritt (producer)
 1996: Organic – Joe Cocker (producer)
 1996: El Equilibrio de los Jaguares – Jaguares (producer)
 1997: Bridges to Babylon – The Rolling Stones (bass, keyboards, executive producer, producer, piano)
 1997: The Mommyheads – The Mommyheads (co-producer)
 1998: Undiscovered Soul – Richie Sambora (producer)
 1999: Suicaine Gratifaction – Paul Westerberg (producer)
 1999: Spirit of Music – Ziggy Marley (producer)
 1999: Avenue B – Iggy Pop (producer)
 1999: Garth Brooks in...the Life of Chris Gaines – Garth Brooks (producer)
 2000: Maroon – Barenaked Ladies (producer)
 2001: Lions – The Black Crowes (bass, producer, mixing)
 2002: The Wide World Over – The Chieftains (producer, bass)
 2003: Hootie & the Blowfish – Hootie & the Blowfish (producer)
 2004: Live Licks – The Rolling Stones (producer)
 2005: Countryman – Willie Nelson (producer)
 2005: Make Do with What You Got – Solomon Burke (producer)
 2005: A Bigger Bang – The Rolling Stones (producer, piano)
 2006: This Old Road – Kris Kristofferson (producer, piano, acoustic and upright bass)
 2006: Out of the Ashes – Jessi Colter (producer, bass)
 2006: Fly – Zucchero (producer)
 2008: Last Days at the Lodge – Amos Lee (producer)
 2008: Tennessee Pusher – Old Crow Medicine Show (producer)
 2008: Boo! – Was (Not Was) (producer, engineer, bass, keyboards, drums, vocals)
 2009: The Excitement Plan – Todd Snider (producer)
 2009: Shimmer (EP) – Pieta Brown (producer, bass)
 2009: Acquired Taste – Delbert McClinton (producer)
 2009: Closer to the Bone – Kris Kristofferson (producer)
 2009: California Years – Jill Sobule (producer, bass)
 2010: Y Not – Ringo Starr (bass)
 2010: Stone Temple Pilots – Stone Temple Pilots (producer)
 2010: Welder – Elizabeth Cook (producer)
 2010: The Union – Elton John & Leon Russell (bass)
 2010: Chocabeck – Zucchero (producer)
 2011: Wild and Free – Ziggy Marley (producer)
 2011: The Gate – Kurt Elling (producer)
 2011: Blessed – Lucinda Williams (producer)
 2012: Born and Raised – John Mayer (producer)
 2012: Born to Sing: No Plan B – Van Morrison (producer)
 2012: La sesion cubana – Zucchero (producer)
 2013: My True Story – Aaron Neville (co-producer with Keith Richards)
 2013: Paradise Valley – John Mayer (producer)
 2013: Una rosa blanca – Zucchero (producer)
 2014: You Should Be So Lucky – Benmont Tench (bass)
 2014: Melody Road – Neil Diamond (producer)
 2014: "All My Friends" concert, January 14, 2014 – a tribute to Gregg Allman (bass)
 2014: Rester Vivant – Johnny Hallyday (producer)
 2014: Everlasting – Martina McBride (producer)
 2014: Enjoy the View – Bobby Hutcherson, David Sanborn, Joey DeFrancesco (producer)
 2014: Heigh Ho – Blake Mills (bass)
 2014: All Rise: A Joyful Elegy for Fats Waller – Jason Moran (producer)
 2015: Yesterday I Had the Blues – Jose James (producer)
 2015: Duets: Re-working the Catalogue – Van Morrison (producer)
 2015: No Pier Pressure – Brian Wilson (bass)
 2015: 1 Hopeful Rd. – Vintage Trouble (producer)
 2016: Black Cat – Zucchero (producer)
 2016: Blue & Lonesome – The Rolling Stones (producer)
 2017: Southern Blood – Gregg Allman (producer)
 2020: Wednesdays – Ryan Adams (bass, double bass, producer)
 2021: Big Colors – Ryan Adams (producer)
 2021: Sob Rock – John Mayer (producer)
 2021: "Blowin' in the Wind," "Masters of War," "The Times They Are A-Changin' (song)," "Simple Twist of Fate," "Gotta Serve Somebody," and "Not Dark Yet" (bass)
 2022: Live in Colorado – Bobby Weir & Wolf Bros (double bass)
 2022: Live in Colorado Vol. 2 – Bobby Weir & Wolf Bros (double bass)
 2023: Hackney Diamonds – The Rolling Stones (additional producer on "Live by the Sword"

References

External Links

1952 births
Living people
20th-century American Jews
American male singers
Record producers from Michigan
Best Original Music BAFTA Award winners
Grammy Award winners
University of Michigan alumni
People from Oak Park, Michigan
Was (Not Was) members
American rock bass guitarists
American music industry executives
Singers from Detroit
Guitarists from Detroit
American male bass guitarists
20th-century American bass guitarists
20th-century American male musicians
21st-century American Jews

Don Was


The Monts Dore () are the remnant peaks of a volcanic massif situated near the center of the Massif Central, in the Auvergne region of France. They form a picturesque mountainous region, dotted with lakes, thermal springs and romanesque churches. The massif is an integral part of the Parc des Volcans d'Auvergne, and is known for its alpine ski areas and hiking trails.

Geology
The massif is much older than the nearby chaîne des Puys, dating to the end of the Tertiary era. It is a deeply eroded stratovolcano, similar to the Cantal massif to the south, but more reduced in area and volume. Its history began about 3 million years ago with a Plinian eruption that created a large caldera, the contours of which are no longer clearly defined. This eruption resulted in the emission of ignimbrite rhyolitic pumice that covered over  of land. Afterwards, phonolite domes were created on the exterior of the caldera. A period of calm lasting between 1 and 1.5 million years ensued, succeeded by a second major eruptive period that formed the modern Puy de Sancy, the highest peak in the Massif Central, followed by the establishment of smaller domes, dikes, and maars.

The region is dotted with lakes of volcanic origin. Some are maars that have been filled with water, while others are the result of streams whose courses have been blocked by volcanic activity.

Volcanic plateaus
Geology of France
Landforms of Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes
Volcanoes of Metropolitan France
Maars of France

Monts Dore


Jambuda (Gujarati: જાંબુડા, Hindi: जांबुडा) is a small village in the Jamnagar district of the Indian state of Gujarat. The village has communities of Gadhavi, Rajgor Brahmin, Patels, shepherd, Charaniya and Kori.

Jambuda is about  away from Jamnagar city, and on the way to Sainik School Balachadi. Historical book Yaduvanshprakash says that Jambuda village is older than 400 years. It is considered that the village was named as Jambuda due to the large number of Java plum tree, and the heavy production of Java plum fruits. karsan pala paliya was notable personality in village.

Places
 Chapal mata Temple
 Khodiyar mata Temple
 Kamai mata Temple
 Lakshminarayana Temple
 Yogeshwar Temple
 Kalindri River, etc.

Villages in Gujarat

Jambuda


Perumal Mupnar is a former Fijian politician of Indian Tamil descent, who held the Yasawa Nawaka Open Constituency in the House of Representatives for the Fiji Labour Party in the parliamentary election of 2001.  In the parliamentary election held on 6–13 May 2006, he transferred to the Nadi Rural Indian Communal Constituency and held it for the FLP.

He was appointed a Senator following the 1999 election.

In 2003 he was one of the 14 FLP parliamentarians offered a cabinet position in the multi - party cabinet by Laisenia Qarase. He was offered the portfolio of Ministry for Transport but the FLP members did not take up the offer as they regarded the portfolios to be trivial.

After the 2006 general election, he became the Fiji Labour Party Whip in the House of Representatives.

He fell out with FLP leader, Mahendra Chaudhry, after speaking out against Chaudhry's choice of Senators following the 2006 election.

References

Year of birth missing (living people)
Living people
Fijian Tamil politicians
Fiji Labour Party politicians
Indian members of the House of Representatives (Fiji)
Indian members of the Senate (Fiji)
Fijian Hindus
Politicians from Nadi
Fijian politicians of Indian descent

Perumal Mupnar


Hans Ernst (sometimes Ernest) Krøyer (31 January 1798 – 24 March 1879) was a Danish composer.

Krøyer was born in Copenhagen and the son of Bernt Anker Krøyer and Johanne Margrethe (née Schrøder), as well as the brother of Henrik Nikolai Krøyer.

He is best remembered as the composer of today's Danish national anthem, "Der er et yndigt land" ("There is a Lovely Country"), in 1835, after lyrics by Adam Oehlenschläger.

He became cantor at the Royal Singers of the Chapel of Christiansborg castle in Copenhagen in 1844.

Krøyer died in Copenhagen.

References

1798 births
1879 deaths
Composers from Copenhagen
Danish composers
Male composers
National anthem writers
19th-century male musicians

Hans Ernst Krøyer


Earl Rivers was an English title, which has been created three times in the Peerage of England. It was held in succession by the families of Woodville (or Wydeville), Darcy and Savage.

History
The first creation was made for Richard Woodville, 1st Baron Rivers, in 1466 and remained in this family until 1491. As borne by the Woodvilles the title was not derived from the name of a place, but from an ancient family name, Redvers, or Reviers, members of this family, whose arms are quartered on the Rivers shield, having been sometime Earls of Devon.

The second creation was made in 1626 for Thomas Darcy, 1st Viscount Colchester, who had succeeded as 3rd Baron Darcy of Chiche (created in 1551). In 1613, a reversion of the barony was granted to Sir Thomas Savage, Bt (created Viscount Savage in 1626 and son-in-law of Darcy); this creation and the earldom both had a remainder to Darcy's heirs male of his body, with remainder to Savage and the heirs male of his body. Savage's son John succeeded to the Savage baronetcy and viscountcy in 1635. In 1640 on the death of the 1st Earl, John succeeded to the 1613 reversion of the Darcy of Chiche barony, the Colchester viscountcy and the Rivers earldom; the 1551 creation of the Darcy of Chiche barony became extinct. The earldom and the subsidiary titles became extinct when John Savage, 5th Earl Rivers, died in 1737.

Elizabeth, Viscountess Savage, wife of Thomas, 1st Viscount Savage, daughter of the 1st Earl Rivers and mother of the 2nd Earl, was created Countess Rivers in her own right in 1641. This title was for life only and became extinct at her death in 1650.

A new Rivers barony, held by the family of Pitt and its later representative, that of Pitt-Rivers, was in existence from 1776 to 1880.

List of titleholders

Earls Rivers, first creation (1466)
also Baron Rivers (England, 1448)
Richard Woodville, 1st Earl Rivers (1405–1469)
Anthony Woodville, 2nd Earl Rivers (–1483)
Richard Woodville, 3rd Earl Rivers (- 1491)

Earls Rivers, second creation (1626)
Thomas Darcy, 1st Earl Rivers (1565–1640); m. Mary Kitson
also Viscount Colchester (England, 1621); Baron Darcy of Chiche (England, 1551); Baron Darcy of Chiche (England, 1613)
John Savage, 2nd Earl Rivers (–1654)
also Viscount Colchester (England, 1621); Viscount Savage (England, 1626); Baron Darcy of Chiche (England, 1613); Baronets, of Rocksavage (England, 1611)
Thomas Savage, 3rd Earl Rivers (–1694)
Richard Savage, 4th Earl Rivers (–1712)
John Savage, 5th Earl Rivers (1665–1737)

Earl Rivers, third creation (1641)
Elizabeth Savage, Countess Rivers (1581–1650)
also Viscountess Colchester (England, 1641); both titles for life.

References

Extinct earldoms in the Peerage of England
Noble titles created in 1466
Noble titles created in 1626
Noble titles created in 1641
Peerages created with special remainders

Earl Rivers


Francine D'Amour (born November 6, 1946) is a Quebec educator and writer.

The daughter of Jean D'Amour and Marthe Pinard, she was born in Beauharnois and studied modern literature at the Université de Nice and French literature at the University of Ottawa. D'Amour has taught at a number of CEGEPs in Quebec, including the Collège Montmorency in Laval.

She published her first novel Les Dimanches sont mortels in 1987; it received the Grand Prix littéraire Guérin and the Prix de l'Académie des lettres du Québec. Her second novel Les Jardins de l'enfer was a finalist for the prize awarded by the readers of Elle (France). D'Amour has contributed to several literary journals such as Arcade, Les écrits, Le Sabord and Moebius.

D'Amour has been invited to various literary festivals, book fairs and literary conferences in Canada, the United States, France and Morocco.

Selected works
 Écrire comme un chat, stories (1994)
 Presque rien, novel (1996), received the Prix Québec-Paris
 Le retour d'Afrique, novel (2004), finalist for the , the  and the Prix du roman d'amour du Prince-Maurice; translated into English by Wayne Grady as Return from Africa (2005)

References

1946 births
Living people
Canadian novelists in French
Canadian short story writers in French
Canadian women novelists
Canadian women short story writers
20th-century Canadian novelists
20th-century Canadian women writers
21st-century Canadian novelists
21st-century Canadian women writers
People from Greater Montreal
Writers from Quebec
Côte d'Azur University alumni
University of Ottawa alumni
20th-century Canadian short story writers
People from Beauharnois, Quebec
21st-century Canadian short story writers
French Quebecers

Francine D'Amour


Jacques Toubon (born 21 June 1941) is a right-wing French politician who held several major national and Parisian offices. He has been serving as Defender of Rights (Ombudsman) between 2014 and 2020.

Political career

Governmental functions

Minister of Culture : 1993–1995.

Keeper of the Seals, Minister of Justice : 1995–1997.

Electoral mandates

European Parliament

Member of European Parliament : 2004–2009. Elected in 2004.

National Assembly of France

Member of the National Assembly for Paris : 1981–1993 (Became minister in 1993). Elected in 1981, reelected in 1986, 1988, 1993.

Municipal Council

Deputy-mayor of Paris : 1983–2001. Reelected in 1989, 1995.

Councillor of Paris : 1983–2008. Reelected in 1989, 1995, 2001.

Mayor of the 13th arrondissement of Paris : 1983–2001. Reelected in 1989, 1995.

Councillor of the 13th arrondissement of Paris : 1983–2001. Reelected in 1989, 1995.

Controversial actions
Jacques Toubon is known for the controversial so-called Toubon Law, enforcing the use of the French language in official French government publications, and advertisements published in France. Since the law can largely be described as being hostile to English, Jacques Toubon is sometimes referred to, jokingly, as "Mr Allgood" ("All Good" being a translation of "Tout bon").

Jacques Toubon is also remembered for the "helicopter affair". In 1996, an initial criminal enquiry had been opened by Laurent Davenas, then head prosecutor of Évry for alleged misuse of government funds, in which Xavière Tiberi, wife of then mayor of Paris Jean Tiberi (from Toubon's party) was involved. (See corruption scandals in the Paris region). However, this was not a full criminal investigation and no investigative magistrate had been named. Davenas then went on vacation in the Himalaya. His deputy then announced his decision to open a full investigation. The Rally for the Republic leaders were frightened by the possible implications of such an investigation, and Jacques Toubon, then minister of justice, famously hired a helicopter to fetch the mountaineering prosecutor and convince him to rein in his deputy (Davenas refused).

Jacques Toubon has been the topic of much lampooning. In addition to "Mr Allgood", Les Guignols de l'info have referred to him as "M. Bouffon" ("Mr Buffoon").

Personal life
He was married to art expert Lise Toubon.

References

External links
 Former official page as Minister of Justice

1941 births
Living people
Politicians from Nice
Politicians from Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur
MEPs for Île-de-France 2004–2009
French Ministers of Justice
French Ministers of Culture
Ombudsmen in France
École nationale d'administration alumni
Rally for the Republic politicians
Union for a Popular Movement MEPs
Commandeurs of the Ordre des Arts et des Lettres
Officers of the Ordre national du Mérite
Officers of the Legion of Honour
Mayors of arrondissements of Paris

Jacques Toubon


The Lorax is a children's book. It was written by Dr. Seuss. It was first published in 1971. The Lorax is a small orange creature. He speaks for the trees against the greedy Once-ler. The book is a fable about industrialized society and the danger it poses to nature. It has been made into a 1972 television show and a 2012 movie. Some people criticized the book. They thought it was gloomy. They thought it was not a good book for children. Some people thought it was unfair to the logging industry.

Story
A young boy living in a polluted world visits a strange creature called the "Once-Ler". The boy asks about the poor state of the world. The Once-ler explains that the world was once beautiful. He made an invention that required him to chop down Trufulla trees. He says that everyone needed his invention. He made a profit from cutting down Trufulla trees. A small orange creature called the Lorax urged him to stop cutting down so many trees. He said that this was harming the environment. The Once-Ler ignored him. Eventually the supply of trees ran out. The land was left polluted. The animals left the forest. The Once-Ler finishes his story. He gives the boy "the last [Truffula seed] of all." He tells him to plant the seed and it will grow into a forest.

1971 books
Books by Dr. Seuss
English-language picture books

The Lorax


Lehman Hot Springs is a hot springs resort in Oregon.  The hot springs were first used by Native Americans before being discovered by pioneer settlers. Lehman Hot Springs was founded as a resort in 1871. The springs are located along Oregon 244 east of Ukiah in the Blue Mountains at an elevation of .

The family that owned Lehman for most of the 1900s repurchased the property in 2012, along with many facilities problems. After extensive renovations Lehman Hot Springs is operating as a limited use facility for private organizations.  It is not open to the public for daily swims.  Lehman Hot Springs is the largest collection of natural hot spring pools in the Northwest.

Pendleton, Oregon photographer Walter S. Bowman captured images of bathers at the hot springs during the early 20th century including partygoers at a masquerade party.

History
First used by Indians and pioneer settlers, the springs produce water at . The resort's swimming pools run  in the main pool and  in the small pools.

The springs closed in 1975. In 1982 a renovation and redevelopment plan was launched.

TSL Foundation, LLC purchased Lehman Hot Springs on July 19, 2012 and The Department of Environmental Quality removed the prior restrictions resulting from actions related to Patrick Lucas.

In 2013 Umatilla County Health Department licensed Lehman Hot Springs as a Limited Use pool and facility.

References

External links
Lehman Hot Springs Official Web Site

Hot springs of Oregon
Bodies of water of Umatilla County, Oregon

Lehman Hot Springs