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He wont propose because I dont view health as importance as he
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luvedmypbear posted 4/2/2013 06:55 AM
Please use me as a cautionary tale....
I wasted well over a decade with a man like yours and no good can come of it.
I'm also 36, BTW and believe me, you have many options in the relationship world if you are open to them.
My ex controlled everything: food, clothes, exercise (he thought I worked out too much)....
I was too fat (while pregnant)
I was too skinny
my boobs were too small (really? they were the same size they had been for 12 years but today it was an issue??)
madenning stuff
mine is mentally ill....combat ptsd with a sprinkling of borderline personality disorder....combined with a controlling mother and an absent father and he was a flipping nightmare.
Literally slept with everyone female who was nice to him.
lied about everything
never helped with our kids (not even a diaper change)
said he loved me a million times per day but did not show that he did ever
and you know what? I feel sorry for the guy because he could get help and get better but he is having too much fun lying to everyone and screwing everyone!
I wish I had followed my gut in 1999, seriously.
I suspected a lie back then and it was confirmed a few years later and it really should have been it.
My only regret is meeting the wrong guy and giving him the wrong finger......
I love my kids, the only joy he ever gave me, even though he didn't intend to and didn't want them.
but if they had a father who loved them and acted like it, their lives would be so much better.
Don't be me in 10 years.
You can do much better....there is no happiness at this fork in the road.
[This message edited by luvedmypbear at 6:57 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
still-living posted 4/2/2013 07:43 AM
He has possible abandonment issues? Strings others along as alternate Plan B's, maintains emotional distance, and is so extreme he wants you in tip top physical condition so you don't die first?
suspicious247 posted 4/2/2013 07:56 AM
Thank you all so much for the outpouring of health (I wrote health but meant help freudian slip again lol). I have read this thread 20-30 times because it makes me feel better. I woke up this morning feeling like a cold heartless bitch because i wouldn't answer his calls last night. There's a part of me that wants to help him. I feel sorry for him. But reading these posts kind of slaps me back into reality.
I am so sad and not looking forward to the months of pain I have to endure to get over this. I just wanted to thank you all for the wonderful insight, time spent writing, and the support. And please keep them coming....I check often.
I'm not sure what to do with myself. I fear that I have something to do with this and I picked a person like this for a reason. Maybe because I didn't have the best relationship with my Father. They actually remind me of each other.
Just as I'm typing this I get a text from him -
"You made me out to be a fool, unreasonable, selfish, shallow, superficial for trying/wanting to explain why something is important to me. You misintrepreted and twisted my opinion to try and validate your anger towards me. My text wasn't an infomercial and I wasn't trying to sell you. While I can see where you would think that's what I was doing towards the end, I was simply asking you to understand me and why I am the way I am. Just because I find refuge and comfort and want to spend time doing the things I enjoy, doesn't make me love you any less because I spend time doing those things and less time together with you. If you dont agree I cant make you. It's your perogative. It has nothing to do with loving the person you are. My point is to understand and fix the problems you have to understand the persons point of view. Whether or not youagree is another thing. But youre intent on putting me in a corner and simplifying things.
Should I respond? Leave it alone? If I respond what the hell do I say?
[This message edited by suspicious247 at 7:59 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
notmeanymore posted 4/2/2013 08:01 AM
Do NOTHING.
You're looking for some kind of resolution that's just not going to happen.
Stop communicating. It doesn't matter if he understands you or you understand him. He's not healthy for you. End of story.
Disengage. Block him. Delete texts *DONT READ THEM*.
EmperorsClothes posted 4/2/2013 08:01 AM
No contact!
He's mad at you because you're upset at his ridiculous and hurtful "proposal"? Spare me.
He's already shown himself to be a manipulator. Don't engage. His words are meaningless.
windowsnotwalls posted 4/2/2013 08:06 AM
Jesus, there's that moment you realize, they weren't so special or unique afterall..... any line from any NPD could've been written by anyone of them, and we've all heard that same shit over and over.....
He is NOT special. He is NOT unique. He is NOT some misunderstood diamond in the rough with grand intelligence and all the promise if just the right person will stop hurting HIM.
Is he broken? Yes. Is he sick? Absofuckinglutely. However, if he had down syndrome, would you be sitting here trying to fix him or would you just accept, he is this way, nothing you can do?
This isn't cancer. There's no holding his hand through chemo. This is narcissistic selfish self-absorbed me me me man. Never never land peter pan syndrome so to say.
Don't respond. ANYTHING you respond will be twisted around, manipulated. No matter what you say or do, it WILL be your fault ... IN HIS MIND. Don't buy his brand of reality shifting.
Change your number, change your email, disconnect from his crazy, and move on, don't look back. There's nothing happy waiting back there. You will never get the answers.... he'll only pretend to understand you or care about you periodically as it suits him. Just don't. This is nothing you did. He's been like this a long time. Get into IC, read, and keep posting/reading here.
JanaGreen posted 4/2/2013 08:07 AM
OMG he is freaking nuts. Can you block his number?
Holly-Isis posted 4/2/2013 08:25 AM
There's a part of me that wants to help him.
He can't workout for you, can't eat healthy for you. You can't work on his mental/emotional issues as long as he doesn't acknowledge them and begin the work on his own. I've been with my H 21 yrs and I still have to fight that belief- that I can push him to face himself. It just can't happen, they have to get there on their own.
"You made me out to be a fool,
Really? You did this? Did you copy and paste his own words or did you add to them? If it was a C&P- then he made himself into the fool. He just can't believe any right thinking person wouldn't agree with him.
My text wasn't an infomercial and I wasn't trying to sell you. While I can see where you would think that's what I was doing towards the end, I was simply asking you to understand me and why I am the way I am.
Really? But he has made this a condition of getting engaged. And, as someone pointed out, there were no concrete expectations. That means they would change as time went by and he realized he still wasn't happy, still didn't have the perfect life. He'd place the blame on you instead of himself. M isn't about having to tailor yourself to make someone else happy. It's a two way street and if you're both working towards being loving to the other person there's no need for ultimatums and requirements.
Has he bothered to understand why you are the way you are? Has he asked how he can change, make you feel safer and more loved? Or has he been more like what we've seen here- showing you the ways he considers you unlovable?
What he is saying now does not mesh with what he texted you earlier. This recent text is manipulation because you did not respond how he expected. He's been able to have his way in much of the relationship, he expected it to continue. That you would be desperate enough to swallow the "Gospel according to BF". He doesn't like that you are getting support and being your own woman in this.
I'd suggest you do some reading on the abuse cycle and types of abuse. See if you recognize any of your relationship in the information you find. Here's a link to start:
suspicious247 posted 4/2/2013 08:54 AM
Does abuse come on gradually?
Because in the beginning (while he wasn't exactly true to me) he was never abusive. Never. Always the perfect gentleman, opening doors, complimentary, sweet, generous.
This behavior didn't start until we reconciled in 2010. I wonder if I did or said something to bring this on? Did he consider me abusive as well and was just mirroring me? Or am I not telling the story correctly and painting him to be some awful person?
He's done more for me than even my own father has done. Loved me more than anyone else. Is it possible I'm telling this story wrong and giving everyone the wrong impression?
I really can't even think clearly anymore
windowsnotwalls posted 4/2/2013 08:59 AM
Because in the beginning (while he wasn't exactly true to me) he was never abusive. Never. Always the perfect gentleman, opening doors, complimentary, sweet, generous.
True in almost every abuse case I've ever heard of. Do you think people just seek out abusive people? Or do you think more likely it's the abuser throws out a massive amount of charm and smoke and mirrors because they KNOW how broken they are, suck the person in, then start laying it on once they have them (at least) mentally trapped?
It's not uncommon, that's for certain.
He's done more for me than even my own father has done. Loved me more than anyone else. Is it possible I'm telling this story wrong and giving everyone the wrong impression?
So what he treated you better than your father did? So what he loved you more than anyone else had? If that's love, I don't want it. If it's more than you've had before, doesn't mean it was enough, or true, or healthy. Just means you've had a shit deal for a long time from a lot of people. Just means you've accepted less than enough for all your life. Start looking into why. DON'T however settle for less anymore. The absence of love is better than painful love. Painful love absolutely CAN be a death sentence. You can actually die from a broken heart, from a destroyed self-esteem. People commit suicide everyday over it. Absolutely your perception can be skewed right now. It's natural. They're master manipulators. You weren't the first to buy his crazy, and you won't be the last. You CAN heal from this though.
You're only a victim until you choose to be a survivor.
Oh, and wanted to add, it is also GUARANTEED if you continue to read his texts/emails, listen to him whatsoever, he WILL convince you that everything ALL these people here have said is just wrong, that YOU have told the story wrong, you've just chosen to be miserable, chosen to believe the worst in him, chosen to be a victim, blah blah. Would you like me to write out all the things he's about to tell you? I can. They're not special, not unique. It's just part of the head games. Reality shifting. It WILL make you crazy. I'm serious when I say, your life may depend on you maintaining full NC.
[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 9:10 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
gonnabe2016 posted 4/2/2013 09:12 AM
Shit. You are ass-deep in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man and you are going to have to fight like hell to get yourself out of it. The hardest part is that you are going to be going through your *own* stuff--the disappointment and pain of a break-up.....while also having to fight off his manipulations. And he is going to get much worse before this is all said and done.
He is freaking out right now because you have moving outside of his sphere of control. You aren't responding as you are *supposed* to. Expect him to ramp it up because it's coming. He'll vacillate between being sugar-sweet, pleading, and downright cruel and if you allow yourself to get sucked into it, it is going to be one big, old mind-fuck....which is why *blocking* him and not reading that shit was mentioned.
Just because I find refuge and comfort and want to spend time doing the things I enjoy, doesn't make me love you any less because I spend time doing those things and less time together with you
And where did ^^this^^ come from? I know that you haven't posted all of your responses to him, but I never saw you mention anything about how him doing what he enjoys means that you feel as if he doesn't love you or want to spend time with you. This part of his response is an indication of how he is not *listening* to you.
An abuser will talk *at* you. There is no type of give-and-take.
Whether or not you agree is another thing. But you're intent on putting me in a corner and simplifying things.
He took ^^^this^^^ right out of the Abuser's Handbook. He is clearly not hearing one word that you've said. He only hears that YOU don't agree with HIM......so, obviously, there must be something wrong with YOU, right? Ugh.
NC is the ONLY way to go with this guy, suspi.
gonnabe2016 posted 4/2/2013 09:23 AM
Does abuse come on gradually?
Because in the beginning (while he wasn't exactly true to me) he was never abusive. Never. Always the perfect gentleman, opening doors, complimentary, sweet, generous
When you say that he wasn't *true* to you, and you are gently saying that he was cheating on you in some form or another.....then, yes, suspi. He was abusing you. Cheating is the #1 form of emotional abuse.
Read about the cycle of abuse. There are 3 stages....and one of them is the *honeymoon* stage. They can't be obviously controlling jerks all the time or else they wouldn't be able to keep their victims sucked in.
I suspect that this ramped up after you R'd because (1)you weren't as *trusting* and so you were a bit more aware of behaviors that you hadn't really noticed before; and (2)you took him back after he cheated on you so he *knew*, in his fucked-up mind, that you *loved* him.
Do you know the *boiled frog* story? If you drop a frog into a pot of already boiling water, he will jump out immediately. However, if you place the frog gently into a pot of cold water...he'll think that he's getting a treat and will swim around contentedly, never noticing that the water is getting hotter and hotter....because he is *adapting* to the slight temperature changes as they occur. UNTIL the water begins to boil and he dies.
That's what happens in an abusive relationship. You get placed into what you believe to be a safe haven, and then the fucker that put you there turns the heat onto high and laughs while you get boiled alive.
Undefinabl3 posted 4/2/2013 09:40 AM
You need to BLOCK HIS NUMBER!!
you need to BLOCK HIS EMAIL ADDRESS
you need to BLOCK HIS FACEBOOK and every other social media
You need to completely block him from your life right now so that you can't get any correspodance with him.
My point is to understand and fix the problems you have to understand the persons point of view.
He actually used the word "fix"....Are you broken? HELL NO...
This guy is batshit crazy riding the fucking crazy bus with a "i am the president of the crazy club" button on.
He's trying to mold you into something he wants you to be....rather than accept you how you are.
THAT is not love, that is control, that is him feeling all powerful that he got to get a girl to 'change' for him.
Block him block him block him!
suspicious247 posted 4/2/2013 10:21 AM
Windows - I would love to hear everything he is going to say to me. I think it would help prepare me to be stronger...so if you have the time I'd be forever greatful
EvenKeel posted 4/2/2013 10:34 AM
I wonder if I did or said something to bring this on?
I know it is hard when you are in midst of it all...but someday you will be able to see how textbook this is and shake you head at it all.
Look at your sentence above. How many times have we seen/heard victims say that?
OPs are right, your key is to stop engaging, responding or even reading his texts. Reading them just lets him twist stuff all around more.
DixieD posted 4/2/2013 10:52 AM
4 words come to mind: Emotionally Unavailable Control Freak.
Suspicious, this guy is not husband or father material no matter how much you want him to be. The most selfish thing you could do would be to have a child with this guy.
He is unavailable to you in every way. No external players are needed -- it's all him.
He's not going to change because he doesn't want to change. He doesn't see anything wrong about himself and what's worse is he's telling you and convincing you that you are the only problem here. Oh he's goooood...... a well seasoned master manipulator this one.
Maybe your father didn't treat you well or put you first but you need to treat yourself better than what you've been willing to settle for so far. I know it's scary but you need to look deeply at that and see how you got here and why you will repeat it again if you don't.
Find the confidence to place the change you need for a better life in your own hands and run with it.
suspicious247 posted 4/2/2013 10:56 AM
I know this is stupid and some of you may rightfully smack me in the head for doing this but without actually looking for it, I found an email exchange from january. I wanted to post this so its all in one place so I can come back here and read every time I feel weak. Obviously no one has to read it but just reading it myself makes things much clearer.
I had had it because he was SOOOOOO angry with me for blocking the doorway when I moved apartments. He specifically asked me to keep it clear so they could get in and out easily. I closed it because I needed something beind it and forgot to open it again. He gave me the silent treatment for days until he finally blew up and told me why he was so upset. Becasue I didn't listen to him and it was a sign of disrespect. I was livid. After weeks of not talking he sends me this email
"With all thats been said to each other, coupled with the fact we are not talking, are we to assume that we arent together anymore?"
To which I responded -
"Are you serious ? Do you read the emails I send? Please see attached ( in particular the last 3 paragraphs)
It seems you have no desire to work on things or take responsibility. And I cant do this alone! You say you love me but I have to seriously question that. I know I love you and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I would have given my life for you, I would have gone to the ends of the earth to make things work. So we could be together.
I dont want a one-sided relationship. A true friend wouldnt go weeks and weeks without so much as a text to see if Im ok. But Dont worry, surprisingly I am.
I just wanted someone to put in as much effort as I was(even if it was just fixing relationship issues) and who treated me with dignity and respect.
Based on my last few emails I thought it was pretty clear I was looking for some feedback. To me this email below just seems like a half-@ssed way to end things because you dont want to come out and say it. If you need to be free, by all means, do it. We can take down all the pics on Facebook, remove the relationship status, and move on with our lives. Just wish each other well, and end this chapter of our lives. At this point, this is your call.
Why? Because Im still on the fence about it. I have more thinking to do and havent sorted out my feelings completely. I cant say with absolute certainty what I want. I am leaning one way, but I still waver. Im ok with taking a few months break to think. So much history and love and time invested, its hard for me to walk away forever. And I know once we end it, it will be for good. I think we both know that.
If you want an answer now, then I have to say my answer is yes. Only because I cant give you a straight answer. I will not put up a fight, call you drunk in the middle of the night, try to sabotage any of your new relationships, or keep hope for a future together. I will pray for you and your family and wish you a bright and happy future.
So , as much as I know you dont want to hear it. If you need an answer to your question now, it is going to have to be you who ultimately makes the call.
Then he responds with
Yes, I am serious. It is a legitimate question. I read emails, except when it is anger and ranting which is what your last emails were mostly. It is a question I was asking to see if you had any clarity on your end.
Youre frequently playing the you dont take responsibility card when I have never claimed it is all your fault. I have never said this is all you, and never said I was the one in the right and youre the one in the wrong. You wanting to pin me into that corner is inaccurate and an excuse. Saying that you question whether I love you is another excuse. If you question that, then we dont need to be together. We have both given our lives to each other, given time and love and history, and have been going through many times of trying to make things work so we could be together. You said some pretty harsh things, as did I. It hasnt been getting better. You said maybe we shouldnt speak for a while, to think about things. But now Im at fault for not being a true friend because I didnt reach out to you to see if youre ok. It goes both ways. Im happy to hear that youre doing well. Thats good. I have never been more confused about anything before in my life.
It seems things still arent any different from when we last talked. A lot of your email below is a dig. Do you read emails, you have no desire to work on things or take responsibility, you say you love me but I question that, a true-friend wouldnt go weeks without a text, you dont treat me with dignity and respect, making a vague reference to my ex, etc.
For what part of your emails were you looking for some feedback? It seemed to me you were more intent on being condescending because you felt I was being the same in my emails. Thats not the way to have a discussion or correspondence. My question is not a half-@ss way to end things. I dont need to be free, I need peace and happiness. We both need and want that.
Im not willing to make the call, because I havent sorted out my feelings either. Thats part of the problem. With all that we have been through, and knowing that we are on limited time, I would like to have a more clear cut idea of where we are to go. And since I am on the fence about it like you, its very hard to walk away forever. And yes, I do know that it would be for good. Even though I may always hold out hope for a happy future together simply because I believe us to be once in a lifetime.
I dont need an answer now. I was only looking for your thoughts on it since you asked me that same question over text a week ago. Im not wanting, needing, or wishing to make the call.
then I said
Sorry ill send a full response but I don't get the "ex" part? What did u think I was trying to reference? Bc u could t be further from the truth. Your ex has not crossed my mind when typing any recent emails
he says
Saying you wont call drunk in the middle of the night, or try to sabotage new relationships, or hold out hope for a future
so my response -
Well I guess I didnt even realize I was doing that (referencing your ex). Its not really about your ex, its about what girls usually do in these instances. I can see now why you thought that. Im just saying Im not that girl, never have been. I wasnt trying to dig on her, shes the last thing on my mind. Its almost strange its on yours have you two talked? I would not be upset if you had, it might help bring some clarity
Oh .And you guys were holding out hope for the future???? Thats news to me!!? - I didnt know that was part of the equation and if I did, I think you know what Id do. I thought you told me the relationship was over years before it actually ended. This is a real shock to hear. I feel you kept me in the dark about this. I understand that its hard to say that sort of thing to someone - but saying the complete opposite is a lie. Not cool at all .the more I think about it the more im disappointed.
Maybe talking to her would help, (if you havent already). I am serious.
Oh and speaking of holding out hope, you dont have to do that with us either, all you have to do is take in what Im telling you and try not to see it as a dig or a criticism, try to take it as constructive criticism because Im on your side, not against you. I want whats best for you because that in turn is whats best for me. Then you dont have to have hope we can do more than hope for a happy future together we could actually have one
The first thing that comes to mind is 3.5 years . This next part is sorta contradictory to a lot of what Im saying and I guess thats why Im so on the fence. Thats a long long time to get to know someone. Yes we have some bumps but We have so much uncertainty. Doesnt that mean the writing is on the wall? Are we stupid for not seeing it? . It iseems crazy to me to not be sure after almost 4 yrs. But then again its not crazy because Im right there with you and I get it. Maybe we dont want to see the truth. Maybe arent meant to be together. It seems like you cant put your finger on what it is Im doing incorrectly, and Ive asked many times. Youve even told me in a recent email that I dont need to change anything, or do anything to make you feel a certain way. So where does that leave me? If I cant act on it, then I have no recourse but to do nothing. And doing nothing gets me nowhere.
I wasnt trying to dig , but I get frustrated when I feel Im not being heard ( just like you, I guess). Im not typing out these emails over the last few years because its therapeutic for me. I do it to communicate with you and help me, help you, make me happy (and in turn making yourself happy). This is something I wish you would have done for me as well. I have read over emails and texts we sent thought about things a lot. and I see a pattern. say the same thing over and over again. Countless times.---for example. We dont communicate well, I feel youre condescending, talk down to me, sometimes you have little to no patience with me, you get angry about things that dont make logical sense t i.e. they are not things to get in screaming matches about. And when you dont respond with OMG I am SO sorry I need to work on that. Anything to make you happy, etc etc blah blah, I get very frustrated and upset that Im not being heard and you dont care about my feelings. I wish sometimes you would go through old emails and texts and realize Ive been saying the same thing, in one way or another, for a long time. And even more important than the apology itself, is the lack of action on your part. Theres never any change or an attempt at changing. Never looking inward. Im not just saying these things for my health, I am saying them to HELP you, (and help myself). There are things I think you need to know, and if the shoe were on the other foot Id appreciate knowing. I may be unhappy about it at first, but at least Im aware of the problem and can work on it, either for you or for my next relationship. I see it as Helping you either in your future relationships, or with ours hopefully.
If you could tell me something that could potentially affect a future relationship, or my relationship with you, then I would want to know. Good bad or ugly. So in that spirit and this is not easy to say ,nor is it easy for you to hear, Im sure and I hope you take this in constructive way, do you see Im even scared to type it? (and I dont know why because I have said it before) at times you can act abusive. I say act because I know you are not an abusive person. But There are times when I think to myself, if one of my friends were to come to me and say oh my boyfriend and I got in a huge screaming match because I spilled water on the stove, or didnt fold the laundry right, or whatever Id tell that girl to run dont walk. When I think of things like this I wonder if Im doing the right thing?. Am I in an abusive relationship? Just asking these questions makes me sick as I never thought Id be here. And I know we both have love for one another , so how could it be so? But why am I having these feelings? Why Do I feel like Im constantly walking on egg shells and worrying about the way I eat, whether Im smacking, what Im saying, how im acting, etc. I dont know .sometimes its like Im scared of you. And that scares me.
And yes, You never said I was in the wrong and you were in the right about things. But by NOT saying it, youre implying you are. Know what I mean? When you arent apologizing or anything, its like this whole thing is my fault and Im the one who needs to change. But I ask what can I do to change and you cant give me a direct answer. Its crazy making.
I didnt mean to give mixed signals about not talking/vs checking up on me. I know I said we needed to stop talking for a while, but my whole life has changed. Arent you even a little curious how things are going with me? I can see how you thought it was a dig and maybe when I wrote it I had those intentions, I can see your point. I cant ask for silence then get mad when you give it to me. I didnt expect you to call every 5 minutes, but maybe a text to let me know you miss me, thinking about me, curious how the new living sitch is going, or even that youre having the time of your life and are happy without with me. Something to give me an idea of where we/you stand. Im in this gray area where I dont know whether to pick up the pieces and move on, hold out hope for us, or what. I just wanted to know where you stood I guess .even if its just a hi hope youre well (not that that tells me where you stand, but shows you still care at least a little). I know youre a good friend and would be there for me if I needed it. I just felt abandoned and when I feel that way, I lash out. I am old fashioned in a way and do feel the man should work harder, take charge, go after what he wants, etc. When I dont see that I think you dont love me. Guess thats what I meant. And also I feel you love is conditional like I said before. If I am healthy, if I stop smacking food, if I am organized, if I dont complain, etc..
I feel good about myself. I like myself, I think Im an unbelievable catch (something I havent thought in years), I think I am special, and irreplaceable. Why am I feeling those things now? I dont want to think its because we arent together but is it?
My friends and people I see semi-regularly have been asking me why Im always flying solo and where you have been. Obviously part of that is because when were doing our own thing Im going to be with them, without you. But my point is that Id bet my life savings that your friends arent saying those things. Wanting us to work out, etc. And I know guys are different than girls. But do you see that my friends WANT us to be in a relationship together? Do yours? Or are they thrilled that Im out of your life? Telling you how much fun it is to be single and happy they have a wing man? How can we have a good relationship if you or your friends arent friends of this relationship? Does that make any sense? If your friends are telling you , get out now, run, its better being single you seem unhappy and then you are forced to come over and hang out, you are not going to give me your best, youll resent me, etc. And then I will feed off of that and then we will have a bad time. Its like a self-fulfilling prophecy and a would be a never ending cycle.
We would have to stop any cycle as we keep doing the same thing over and over again. It gets better for a little bit then goes bad again. It is so unhealthy for us both.
I dont know if youll even hear what Im saying here (because in all honesty Ive said it in an email before and I know how you dont like to hear things more than once)-----------But-------- I need for you to have an aha moment. An epiphany. Realize that you will never find another girl like me. And dont want to. That you are about to lose me. That you are at fault for many of the fights. That you will work on it, your temper, your patience and that you are sorry for treating me in any manner that is anything but respectful and dignified. That you SEE what I am even talking about. (that alone scares me more than anything that you dont see it) That you care deeply about the health of this relationship and are willing to WORK. Not just go out to fancy dinners and go shopping, but stick around when things are crappy, work through things when were disagreeing, have patience and understanding with me and not choose to yell or put me down when something happens that you dont like, make me feel treasured and safe and an equally respected partner, make QT time for each other, be happy instead of being right, thankful that Ive given you a second chance, think that you hit the jackpot. Because it doesnt get better than me. It just doesnt. I dont mean to sound cocky. You may not fully realize now, and sometimes I dont either, but I have faith in myself more than ever and and what I have to offer. People like me arent on every street corner. Ive lost my self-worth in the last few years but am now finding it again and realizing that I am pretty damn special. And I have offered it to you. Myself. And its like Im just sitting here waiting for you to accept it. At some point a person has to ask themselves why am I offering up this gift when this person doesnt want it. The more the gift is offered and it just sits, the more the gift loses value and depreciates.
All of the above is what I wanted feedback on. That you take responsibility. That you can LIST OUT the things youve done wrong. That you can TELL ME, what Ive done wrong. That you can tell me what youre going to do to try to fix it. Or even tell me to F off and you are done. SOMETHING. You could have just filled out that silly little sentence. You could have told me that you do love me and take me as I am currently (if its true). You have never said that. That you get too angry too quickly over silly things and you REGRET that. That you mistreat me over anyone else in your life and that you realize its not the right thing to do. That you resent me and will work on knowing why, and helping me help you lose that resentment. Or that you are not happy and you want to part ways. Make a decision.
See .Im trying .Im trying to fix things. Asking you questions, where did I fail you? Looking at myself and wondering what I did wrong. Thinking, researching, talking, praying, everything and anything I can do to fix what I feel is about to be irreparably broken. Time apart is my last resort. Im scared youre doing that in this break. You may not have given it any thought at all and you are entitled to that too, whatever you have to do to help yourself. Be it blocking it out completely, and going on about your life or taking a good look inside and try to fix whats broken. But sometimes its like you dont even realize that Im the only one doing any work here. Taking any blame. Trying to sort things out, both with you - and within my own head. You have to ask yourself and find the answers yourself to what your happiness is, what you are looking for and what things you can live with and cant live without.
I feel that we should not communicate until either one of us has not a doubt in their head .stay together, get married or say goodbye. When you know, please let me know . I will do the same
he replies with this
So I need to set a couple of things straight before I leave for the day in case I dont get to finish the rest of this email. I didnt think you were that type of girl, and you wouldnt be at fault if you did that. I cant say for certain that I wouldnt do those things if we were to breakup given our history. And no, we have not talked. Its not strange, I thought you were referencing that because thats what she did. And I was never holding out hope for a future together with her. She maybe was, which may explain why she was contacting me. I was done and I would not hold out hope. Havent heard from her or anything since the accidental butt dialing incident which you know about.
Our relationship is different. Its much deeper. There is nothing to be shocked about. You misunderstood what I wrote in my email. I didnt keep you in the dark. I was never interested in a future or holding out hope for a future with her. We really cant communicate sometimes, it drives me crazy
and this is what I get in return
It is frustrating that we have these misunderstandings like we did yesterday. I did read the entire email you sent. Like I said, I just wanted to respond to the first part because I didnt want you to think those things you wrote for a minute longer because they werent true. The rest of your email deserved a thoughtful and heartfelt response, which is why I wanted to take some time to formulate my thoughts exactly. Im sorry you thought I was referring to work when I said I need to set a couple of things straight. It had nothing to do with that.
As I have said before, I have never had a connection like we have before in my life. Never cared so much, loved so much, wondered how a future would be together with anyone else. I cant say that I wont hold out hope for us, because we are one in a million. I know how special you are. How special we are. So if we do decide to part ways, I know I will always wonder what could have been. But youre absolutely right, we could do more than hope for a happy future together, we could actually have one.
3.5 years IS a long time to get to know someone. So many memories, so much love. Im not really mindful of or choose to focus on the bumps. I see the happy times more in the forefront of my thoughts. Sure there is uncertainty, but NO ONE ever gets married knowing everything. I think the uncertainty is normal to a point. I dont think that means the writing is on the wall and we are stupid not to see it. I think it means we are mindful enough to know that marriage is a very difficult thing to master. Different personalities, different trains of thought, different people. There needs to be a balance, and that balance can only come from good communication. This is where we fail. We constantly assume or read into what each other says, rather than questioning the things that we may assume and letting the other person give their point of view and explain it better. We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt more frequently. That needs to be more often than not, and right now it is just the opposite.
Youre saying that youve asked many times what youre doing wrong and I cant give you an answer. Or I say, youre not doing anything wrong. Sometimes there may be something that bothers me, but I dont know how to say it. Afraid that youll respond in a way that causes a fight. Get offended and tell me Im a jerk. Resent me for saying something. And I dont want to rock the boat. Sometimes it isnt anything in particular that may bother me or is something youre doing wrong, rather just a different way to do it than my way. And that doesnt make you or me wrong because we do things differently! So when you ask that question, it seems to be a very macro question, and maybe thats why I say nothing because I dont believe you can sum it up and say OK, this is what it is and if we fix this we are gonna be fine! I see where youre coming from about not being able to act on it to fix things. I get that. And its a valid feeling. But I think its more of a case by case situation and how we deal with each thing that pops up on our day-to-day journey together.
We do say the same things over and over because it is the things we both agree we need to work on! I.e. our communication. And I am SORRY, for you feeling that I talk condescendingly toward you. I dont intentionally think Im going to talk that way. No one has ever said I do that, so it is hard for me to figure out why I am making you feel that. Is it possible that you are taking it the wrong way? It could be, given that our communication sometimes isnt the greatest. Is it my word choice? Do you feel that way because I may say things similar to the way you dad says things or my dad says things? I mean, they are both foreign and sometimes my dad says things that I think are condescending but I chalk it up to the way he is translating what he would say in Turkish to English. A lot of times things that are said in Turkish can come across very much that way. Its just the culture and the way people talk. Its no nonsense. Almost military like, and everyone does it female and male. So I dont know? Im not saying youre wrong for feeling that way. Im just trying to give you a possibility as to why you may interpret it that way. When you feel that way about something I say, maybe its best to say it immediately so we can talk it over. Of course I want you to be happy and care about your feelings. You being sad is not good for you, and it isnt for me either. I know you are saying these things to help, but I cant say Im sorry for speaking to you condescendingly when I dont know what it is we are talking about. In my opinion, it is more a disconnect between what I am trying to say and the manner in which I am trying to say it, AND what you are hearing and the manner in which you think Im saying it. Im not perfect, but Im certainly not out to get you or make you feel anything less than what you are. I may expect a lot, but so do you. And that doesnt make either one of us a bad person.
Im sorry but the part of your email where you say I act abusive is not constructive at all. If you feel that way, then maybe you should get away from me. Run and dont walk like you would tell a friend. Saying that oh my boyfriend and I got in a huge screaming match because I spilled water on my stove is a total misrepresentation of the truth and you know it. I said you should have listened to me, very similar to I told you so and this wouldnt have happened. You took offense to that, saying that I was belittling you for it when all I did was speak the truth. You got offended because you took it to mean me saying youre not a good cook, or wont be a good mother, or youre messy and sloppy, or whatever else. I simply wanted recognition and acknowledgement that when I said the water was boiling over and you shouldnt let that happen or should find a way to clean it or whatever, it was the right thing to do because look at what it led to. The entire apt smelling like garbage for days. Instead of getting worked up about it and reading into what I was saying, a simple you were right would have sufficed. And I know youre saying well you never tell me that Im right, and youre correct in feeling and saying that and I will work on making sure to point out the times when youre right more frequently. And this isnt about whos right or wrong!!! It is simply a point to say that entire situation could have been avoided without any arguing. A simple Im sorry, you were right. And its not about you doing a nice thing for me by cooking my favorite meal and me not being appreciative of that. Im always appreciative of when you do that. After all, I was the one cleaning up the mess because you couldnt stand to have the smell.
If you think I act abusive, or that youre scared of me then please, please, please lets go our separate ways. I know youve felt those things in your family structure in the past and I dont want to add anymore to that. There is nothing scary or abusive about me. Never has, never will be. If someone I didnt know and care for were to say something like that to me I would be very offended. Im not as offended now with you saying it, only because we are trying to work through some things and I want to give you the benefit of doubt because I am not perfect. Im sure I said some things in anger that I would take back. So have you. So neither one of us is innocent. That word abuse is thrown around quite a lot this day in age and in this pathetic reality tv show of a life we live in America. People dont have any idea what abuse is. So if you think Im abusive, I would love to meet the person you think isnt. Maybe its a saint. Telling me that you feel like youre walking on egg shells around me, thinking about the things you say, smacking food etc. is you saying that you want to not feel that way so I should not want those things. I do those things EVERY DAY. I try to make sure I do think about things before I say them, how I act, how I eat, etc. Its out of respect for you, and the people around us if we are in public. If I had a habit of picking my nose, or scratching myself, or whatever, dont you think you would want to tell me that?? Dont you think I would want to know? And you make it seem like it happens all the time. It doesnt. But when it does and I point it out, it turns into an argument because you get offended. If you think youre in an abusive relationship, please leave. That way I wont ever have to abuse or act abusive to you anymore. Nothing could make me feel happier than to know youre in a safe environment and dont feel the need to walk on eggshells or whatever. Im sorry, but I cant be in a relationship where I know the person I am with feels that I act abusive toward them. I would never hurt a woman physically, never have, and that word abuse is more associated with physical than psychological. Psychological is up for interpretation, and physical is obvious. Im shocked I feel the need to defend myself on this topic. SMH.
Youre life has changed, I agree. And Im sorry you felt that our silence or my lack of checking up on you was in any way unloving or uncaring. The timing of all of it probably made it worse. But we needed time to think. I needed time to think. I am curious with how things are progressing for you. But Im also quite sure that you are doing great because you have a good environment and great friends. You should feel very lucky to have those friends. I have grown to like all of them very much. They all have your best interest at heart. I have missed you, I have thought about you, about us. About my life and my happiness. And at the same time I have just taken a break from the normal routine. Worked on getting my life organized, preparing for 2013, doctors appointments, etc. It wasnt my intention to leave you in a gray area, or abandon you. Im sorry for making you feel that way. I needed some time away I guess. To get away from the constant bickering and resentment. To forget about the bickering and resentment and remember the GOOD TIMES. Its all so very hard. I will always be here for you as a friend. ALWAYS. Its hard to think about our relationship, see the pictures in happier times, and not get sad. I dont want us to be a tragic failure. At the same time though, something has to happen for us to feel both of our needs are being met. I DO love you unconditionally. That doesnt change. The other things of being healthy, etc. are things that I value in my life and hope that I can be with someone who values them equally. That isnt conditional love. They are things that make me happy and are important to me. It may be considered selfish to have those needs and wants, but it is not conditional love.
Im happy to hear youre in a good mood more, and are motivated and fulfilled with having someone in your life more. I could tell for a very long time that you were in a rut, because of being deprived of human interaction. I guess that can drive anyone crazy and make them sad. Good to hear you guys are getting to be even closer than before. Like I said, I would do anything for you so youre more than welcome for helping out with the move and storing the stuff. Also good to hear you reinstated gym membership. Thats kinda ironic because at the beginning of January LA Fitness could not charge my credit card so they have been calling me incessantly trying to get me to give them a legit credit card. In all seriousness, they have called 17 times. Left 14 messages until my vm box was full. I am so peeved at them for doing that I may just cancel. Its so rude to call that many times for what, 29.99? Plus I started the insanity workout, and I absolutely love it. Missed only 1 day in the past 2 weeks and I definitely see some crazy results. I have so much more energy and so much more strength in my lower body. Been eating better too. Got a list together of foods that are good for you and I like and have been rotating between them. So things are good for me. Just different without you, and I get sad that I cant share it with you. I think the reason things are going so well for you is the combination of everything you said. You got out of your living situation, have someone around you more often, can share your thoughts and feelings with someone you can trust and gives good advice. Youre getting out and going to gym to get your heart rate up, and are organized so both your body and mind are stimulated and satisfied. And maybe its because we arent around each other at the moment. It gives you more time to focus on yourself and your own well being. You should feel good about yourself. Youre an unbelievable catch thats for sure. I have always said that. I know you dont want to think its because we arent together, but like I said its more than likely a combination of everything. Us not being together included.
My friends have been asking why Im around more and how things are with you also. Actually, J is the only one that I have spoken about us to. Your ex neighbor B asked why Ive seen him twice in 2 weeks. I guess he hangs with S and when S calls to see whats up and we make plans B somehow ends up in the mix. Those guys dont know anything. Just that its football season and the playoffs so Im around more. t is getting a divorce. Shocker. And J isnt as close with him as he used to be. t is a pretty big mess. We ran into him and he and I almost got into a fight. He pissed me off and after I heard some things that had happened I told him he was a a$$___. So I would expect not to see him anymore, given that the last time we saw each other was over a year ago anwyays. So I guess you lost your life savings on that bet because guys are just like girls in some respect. The friends that I have WANT me to be happy. They want us to work out. J wants so bad to have a girlfriend, he just doesnt have confidence in himself or the people he meets. So when he asks how everything is progressing between us, I think he wishes we would work through our differences so he can have confidence in relationships. Youve never thought my friends cared about our relationship or were friends of our relationship. That is why you are saying these things. You couldnt be further from the truth though. They want whats best for me and us. And usually the response they give to any discussion we have is, you guys will work it out, you always do.
I hear you in saying you want me to have an aha moment. I do know I will never find another girl like you. I do know that I am about to lose you. And the same goes for you. I think Im a catch and youre about to lose me. Thats why this is a tragic predicament. You think Im at fault for many of the fights, I need to work on my temper, I need to work on my patience, I need to be more respectful, I need to be more dignified, I need to stick around when things are crappy, I need to be thankful youve given me a second chance, I need to think I hit the jackpot, I need to stop acting abusive, I need to stop yelling, etc. etc. That doesnt really sound like a partner that is willing to work on things. That sounds like someone who feels they are jilted and taken for granted. Well, I feel the same way. So how does this work now? You can say all you want about how great you are, and how special you are, and what does that mean? What does it prove? That Im not? I think the more you think in this manner, the more we are doomed to succeed. Without coming out and saying it, youre the one thats putting yourself on a pedestal. I do know these things, and if I didnt think these things it would be a very easy decision to move on. So you dont have to flaunt or throw it in my face or insinuate Im an idiot that I cant SEE these things. Its getting us nowhere, and its only aggravating the situation and pushing me away.
I dont really see how youre trying to fix things and that Im not. Ive taken plenty of blame and it upsets me when you say I havent taken any. Im SHARING the blame rather than cast it either way. You are STILL wanting to do that. I dont understand why. Just when I think youre being reasonable, you flip a switch. Its really unfair. I will always love you, no matter what happens. But when you feel like you can have fair communication and not cast stones and point blame, only then can we truly move toward a happy future together. Until then, I dont see how this is going to work. Im so sad again
[This message edited by suspicious247 at 11:17 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
StillGoing posted 4/2/2013 11:06 AM
Growing up in nj, we lived in a small town. Like 8,000 people at the time. Big farm land, but not very densely populated. I didn't have many friends nearby my house and I didn't have a way to get to my friends houses unless a parent would take me and pick me up.
Even the Amish around here would laugh at that one.
Oh I didn't see the update:
Youre saying that youve asked many times what youre doing wrong and I cant give you an answer. Or I say, youre not doing anything wrong. Sometimes there may be something that bothers me, but I dont know how to say it. Afraid that youll respond in a way that causes a fight. Get offended and tell me Im a jerk. Resent me for saying something. And I dont want to rock the boat. Sometimes it isnt anything in particular that may bother me or is something youre doing wrong, rather just a different way to do it than my way. And that doesnt make you or me wrong because we do things differently! So when you ask that question, it seems to be a very macro question, and maybe thats why I say nothing because I dont believe you can sum it up and say OK, this is what it is and if we fix this we are gonna be fine! I see where youre coming from about not being able to act on it to fix things. I get that. And its a valid feeling. But I think its more of a case by case situation and how we deal with each thing that pops up on our day-to-day journey together.
"I can't control your response in a way that I feel is optimal for me so I refuse to tell you anything. This way not only are you still wrong, it's not my fault for being unhappy about it. Also, it's all your fault even if I did tell you because then you wouldn't understand and everything would still be fucked up."
I hear you in saying you want me to have an aha moment. I do know I will never find another girl like you. I do know that I am about to lose you. And the same goes for you. I think Im a catch and youre about to lose me. Thats why this is a tragic predicament.
"I am AWESOME and you're okay. You're okay enough for me to maybe want to be with if you do what I tell you, and it's a tragic predicament that you just won't see what a catch I am."
Sorry, some of that wouldn't translate.
You think Im at fault for many of the fights, I need to work on my temper, I need to work on my patience, I need to be more respectful, I need to be more dignified, I need to stick around when things are crappy, I need to be thankful youve given me a second chance, I need to think I hit the jackpot, I need to stop acting abusive, I need to stop yelling, etc. etc. That doesnt really sound like a partner that is willing to work on things. That sounds like someone who feels they are jilted and taken for granted. Well, I feel the same way. So how does this work now? You can say all you want about how great you are, and how special you are, and what does that mean? What does it prove? That Im not? I think the more you think in this manner, the more we are doomed to succeed. Without coming out and saying it, youre the one thats putting yourself on a pedestal. I do know these things, and if I didnt think these things it would be a very easy decision to move on. So you dont have to flaunt or throw it in my face or insinuate Im an idiot that I cant SEE these things. Its getting us nowhere, and its only aggravating the situation and pushing me away.
"I put abuse in quotations to show how stupid it is for you to even use that word. You gave me a detailed map to follow but fuck that, you need to do all that stuff too. In fact, you should do that and just fuck off about expecting me to, because asking me to do this stuff is just a way to push me away. I'm too awesome for any kind of responsibility. In fact, I will turn the entire thing around to make it MY problem with YOU that YOU have to fix and never actually once admit to any of this as an issue I need to work on."
Everything he says is laced with emotional abuse behaviors.
[This message edited by StillGoing at 11:17 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
gonnabe2016 posted 4/2/2013 11:32 AM
So in this January exchange, I noticed something interesting. He used the words "pin me in a corner." And I think I remember seeing those EXACT same words in one of his communications from today/last night. He doesn't want to *communicate* with you and if you push the issue, then you are "pinning him into a corner." Think of the symbolism of those words. You being a *separate* person and thinking *differently* than him is THREATENING to him.
Ick. Just ick. This guy gives me the creepy-crawlies....
suspicious247 posted 4/2/2013 11:36 AM
If you guys only knew him! He's wealthy attractive extremely likable. I was the envy of many many girls and even some guys. Everyone thinks he hung the moon and I'm the one who needs help
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text:
Arsenal have been dealt a hefty injury blow ahead of the north London derby with the news that Bacary Sagna will not be available for the clash.
Arsene Wenger's side travel to White Hart Lane for a crucial showdown with Tottenham Hotspur in the Premier League on Sunday and will be significantly weakened by the absence of the France full-back.
Added to the long-term absence of Kieran Gibbs, Sagna's injury means the Arsenal boss is without his two first-choice full-backs.
Carl Jenkinson is likely to come in for Sagna at right-back but he has looked uncertain when deputising recently and is likely to be given a stern test by Gareth Bale.
The Spurs winger has been in sensational form of late, scoring eight goals in his last six games, and will be looking forward to facing an Arsenal defence that has been accommodating to opposition attackers of late.
Both Wenger and his Tottenham counterpart Andre Villas-Boas know a win is vital in the clash.
For the Gunners a win means pulling themselves to within a point of their rivals and reigniting their Champions League qualification hopes.
Meanwhile, Tottenham know a win will be as hug boost to their quest to finish in the top four and above the club at the other end of Seven Sisters Road for the first time in Arsene Wenger's reign.
Midfielder Abou Diaby could also be out for Arsenal with a small calf problem, though there are no other doubts for Wenger.
Tottenham will be desperate to get some revenge over the Gunners for the 5-2 defeats they were handed in both of the last two meetings between the clubs.
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subset: commoncrawl


text:
I had the good fortune this week to meet the inventor of the world wide web Sir Tim Berners Lee. He is currently touring Australia and after he gave a public lecture at Melbourne University, I was lucky enough to attend a private session thanks to the AUDA and meet him personally.
Firstly, I'd like to say he was a total gentleman, who is very humble for all that he has given us. Over drinks I asked him what seemed like the first non techie question he'd been asked all night, and his answer I found totally inspiring. The dialogue is below:
Me: "Tell me how it feels to have created something everyone loves and uses every day…. How do you cope with all the attention and adulation?"
Tim: "Well, I'm just Tim, a normal guy around campus. But, it is interesting you asked that, because I made a conscious decision to avoid the public sphere for the first 10 years after I created it. I didn't do any interviews or make any public appearances. Mainly so it wouldn't interfere with my family. About 10 years into the web I received a letter telling me that I was to receive the Millenium Prize in Finland. It turned out that the ceremony happened to be on my son's birthday. So I wrote back to them saying that I couldn't make it on that day as it was my son's birthday. That I could come if they changed the date. They then wrote back to me saying something like… 'You don't understand Tim, this is like a really big thing, and the dates can't be changed….' And then I wrote back saying, 'No, you don't understand, nothing gets in the way of my family, I'm very honoured, but you'll have to give it to someone else.' Well – in the end they were determined that I come and suggested they fly our entire family over so that we could still celebrate his birthday as a family, and so that I could still get the prize, and that they would pay respect to my sons birthday at all the ceremony. So I asked my son Ben and he was ok with it. In fact, he really enjoyed his birthday as entire auditoriums sang him happy birthday and he had something like 5 birthday cakes while we were there."
I thought this was cool and grounded. In fact, it's a terrific thing when someone you respect greatly, gives you more reasons to respect them after you've actually met.
(A photo with Tim – He said 'Send me a copy of the photo!' – but I'm sure he says that to every fan boy who asks for a picture.)


text:
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text:
Washington DC, 30 January 2013 – Jesuit Refugee Service in Syria continues to help thousands of families displaced by the fighting; their work continues despite the added stress of the fact that the JRS staff and their network of volunteers are nearly all victims of displacement themselves. Throughout the country, conditions are deteriorating, and a brutal winter adds to the misery.
In Syria today, more than four million people are in urgent need of assistance. More than 660,000 people have fled violence to seek shelter in nearby countries, where many find themselves living in harsh conditions in refugee camps.
Throughout Syria, more than 50 percent of hospitals have been destroyed or damaged, heating oil is unable to be found and power outages last most of the day. The harsh winter — temperatures below freezing, snow and freezing rain — is compounding already deplorable conditions.
In the suburbs of Damascus, whole neighbourhoods have been emptied and destroyed; there is shelling and bombing continuously. The industrial suburbs have been devastated. Schools are over crowded and without heat, and children are routinely dismissed several hours early each day.
In Damascus, there are traffic jams caused by blocked streets and checkpoints. "The streets are overcrowded in the morning," a JRS staff member tells us, "but then empty after 4 or 5 pm."
"People are looking for shelter in Damascus, but there is none available. There are 20 families living in one apartment; another has 15 people living in one room", he added.
In December, JRS distributed clothes and shoes to 1,000 children in Damascus, and opened a kitchen in a school sheltering 400 people. (Schools are used as shelters throughout the country.)
In one school in the city, teachers noticed children who did not eat in the morning and had no lunches. The school principal contacted JRS for assistance, and JRS began providing light meals.
In Aleppo, JRS operates field kitchens providing 15,000 meals each day to the distressed population. Additionally, JRS manages four shelters for the displaced and provides educational and recreational activities to children in an attempt to relieve them of the trauma of war.
"Daily life is very difficult, all people are very stressed and nervous. There are power outages that last for days, there is no heating, there is no phone coverage for unpredictable periods", said a JRS staff member in Aleppo.
In Homs, JRS accompanies and serves 1,650 families in the city itself, and another 500 or so families in the area.
Abandoned buildings have become makeshift shelters in Homs, but snipers prey on people from others.
In the last two months of 2012, JRS Syria spent more than 600,000 US dollars for emergency relief alone, in addition to the education and psychosocial activities for children and families. The needs are huge and the development of the JRS teams and structures allows JRS to reach more people, but we need your help.
To help support this JRS emergency project, please click here and donate today.
How can you help?
Below is a list of items that people in Syria urgently need in order to survive the winter. With your financial help, we can alleviate the suffering of Syrians.
- 30 euro enables a child to attend one of our centres for a month. With 25 euro more, you can ensure a daily meal too.
- 40 euro pays for a mattress, two blankets and basic bedding.
- 50 euro pays for a monthly food distribution package for a family of five.
- 70 euro pays for 100 litres of heating oil to keep a family warm in winter.
- 100 euro pays for a winter kit of clothes, jacket and shoes for one person.
- 160 euro covers one month's rent of an apartment for a displaced family.
- 1,000 euro provides hot meals for 2,500 people for one day.
Christian Fuchs, JRS USA Communications Director


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U.S. News
Scientists Receive Grant to Develop Hand-Held Self-Monitoring Test for HIV Viral Loads
May 7, 2009
Scientists in the United Kingdom have received a grant worth two million euros, or about $2.67 million, to develop a self-monitoring system for HIV-positive people that measures viral loads through a finger-prick of blood, BBC News reports. The device's sensors, called microcantilever arrays, are coated with substances that stick to HIV and other proteins, which are markers associated with disease progression. Researchers hope that the hand-held device can alert users about heightened viral loads and display an alert if there is a need to see a doctor.
Reprinted with permission from kaisernetwork.org. You can view the entire Kaiser Daily HIV/AIDS Report, search the archives, or sign up for email delivery at www.kaisernetwork.org/dailyreports/hiv. The Kaiser Daily HIV/AIDS Report is published for kaisernetwork.org, a free service of the Kaiser Family Foundation, by The Advisory Board Company. © 2009 by The Advisory Board Company and Kaiser Family Foundation. All rights reserved.
This article was provided by Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. It is a part of the publication Kaiser Daily HIV/AIDS Report. Visit the Kaiser Family Foundation's website to find out more about their activities, publications and services.


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From time to time on this blog I like to post old email conversations between my pal M and I. We're the funniest people we know. We are often hungover and spend a lot of time talking about cheese. Here goes.
J: What is wrong with me? I was home from the bar by 1 a.m. but am so so tired. It's like I danced to Beyonce until 6 a.m. instead of actually just eating a bunch of brie in my underpants. In bed.
M: Oh man I'm sooooo tired again today! I also go home at a reasonable time but my roommate is away for a few days so I left my door open for the cat. But she spent most of the night walking on my face or meowing and then walking on my face. Wow, I am SO impressed that you stuck to one beer! At Ronnie's no less – that is actually some sort of miracle. Like making out with a unicorn and then it calling you the next day.
J: I need coffee. There's a beautiful boy who works at my Starbucks (I say 'my' only because I've fallen asleep while waiting for a latte so I feel some sort of ownership with both the location and the random banker who kindly let me rest my head in his lap while he took photos of me with his iPhone), and he was all about my cappuccino until I went in with my 21-year-old summer student and suddenly it was 'goodbye chubby pale chick and hello stunning 6 foot tall supermodel fetus girl'. Typical. Your cat sounds like my ex-boyfriend. Boom. I once woke up to a friend's cat trying to stick its entire face down my throat. Umm…hello FORWARD MUCH? At least buy me a drink first. Unicorns rarely call the next day, but they do send chocolate. I'm having a rough day at work. HR is thisclose to sending me a refresher etiquette email.
M: Picture G and I outside of the Starbucks on College and Dovercourt. I am currently wearing ripped faded jeans for painting a house and am on breakfast sandwich number two. I say: "Ohhhh, I'll date him- I don't even care if he's 17!" Yeah, I don't care, you just stand there in your little shirt and tie and get dated. And I'm still waiting for my chocolate. Damn classless unicorn. My day has gone from normal to uuuuuuhhhhhhggggggggggg *pulls hair*. Cut to me drinking gin in the shower. Good grief it looks like I'm wearing red eyeliner today.
J: I look like the human equivalent of botulism.
M: Remember when we were carefree?
J: I'm the cow. You're the gay shark.
M: I actually laughed out loud. Earlier I debated going to have a quick cry in the bathroom but I was listening to Jay Sean and I was like "No, that's too pathetic". Ummmmmmm, and then I google-imaged "stress" and I saw this picture:
And the first thing I noticed was "oh, she's married?" I'm going to go for a long cry. I guess? I'm the gay shark. I'm going to teach my young that life has no set path but that which you choose. And then we will eat the purple fish.


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IBM gives blades 4Gbit/s zip
Plug and chug
IBM has recruited a pair of networking chums to help slot a 4Gbit/s switch into its blade server chassis.
To bring the blade/switch combo to life, IBM will use a 4Gbit/s HBA from QLogic. That HBA will connect BladeCenter servers with 4Gbit/s switches from either McData or QLogic. The switches then link to IBM's TotalStorage DS4800 storage area network (SAN) system.
"Each switch module is available in 10 and 20 port models and upgrades are accomplished easily via software keys," IBM said.
With the new gear, IBM has made good on its efforts to bulk up blade servers and turn them into serious business software workhorses, according to Pund-IT analyst Charles King.
"Two of the more remarkable IT success stories over the past couple of years have been the x86 architecture's notable high performance computing (HPC) capabilities, and its ability to support increasingly complex IT environments," King wrote in a recent research report. "IBM's BladeCenter solutions leverage both of those trends by delivering 'datacenter-in-a-box' that can be populated with various flavors of x86 blades (both Intel and AMD) as well as the company's own Power-based JS20 solutions.
"The new switches kick BladeCenter up a notch by delivering 4Gb performance to uplinks (as do switches from other vendors including HP) as well as to each individual blade (which other switches do not). This capability particularly complements high-end applications such as the new analytics solution announced by IBM and SAP last week, which should be particularly valuable for enterprises in retail, insurance, oil and gas exploration, and other areas that utilize business or database analytics."
To its credit, IBM has been aggressive about lining up networking aid for its blade server line with embedded Fibre Channel switches also made by QLogic and McData.
The 4GB switches from QLogic start at $8,999, while the 4Gb switches from McData start at $10,999.®


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Delight little stars with the Preschool Dress Up Island scaled to their size. Comes with a full-length acrylic mirror and eight double coat hooks.
Playing dress up has never been more fun! This dress up island holds up to eight fun costumes for children to adore and a full length toddler sized mirror so she can admire her new look. Great for bedrooms, playrooms and classrooms so multiple children can get in on the fun. Made solid for long lasting function.
Size: 36"W x 15"D x 29"H
KYDZ Strong: Construction employs the dowel pin technique. This leaves the thickness of the material intact where most of the stress occurs. Increases the already noteworthy strength of the piece by 30% or more.
KYDZ Safe edges: All edges, front, back and base are fully rounded to create KYDZSafe edges. The recessed backs enhance the strength and appearance
KYDZ TUFF finish: Finish is as tough as the coating used on gym floors. Resists stains, won't yellow and is easy to clean.
Lifetime warranty
Manufactured in the U.S.A by Made by Jonti Craft
Item 09102JC
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text: Korean Job Discussion Forums :: View topic - moving sale Speak Korean Now! Korean Job Discussion Forums"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!" FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in moving sale Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Buy/Sell/Trade Forum View previous topic :: View next topic Author Message kissa1852Joined: 10 Jan 2006 Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:02 pm Post subject: moving sale *VHS Videos, $4 a tape -Domestic Disturbance, Signs, From Hell, Sweet Home Alabama, Save the Last Dance, Serendipity, City of Angels, Lucky Numbers, Happy Gilmore, Crazy/Beautiful, In the Army Now, Ever After, You've Got Mail, 8Mile, Return to Me, The Abyss, Startrek 1 (recorded), Stitch the movie, Dogma, Cadence, 9Months, Picture Perfect, Hot Shots, Honeymoon in Vegas, Ernest Goes to Camp, The Generals Daughter, The American President, Bring it On, My Best Friends Wedding, Video Head Cleaner *Plastic nightstand w/3 drawers, $15 *Wooden TV stand with 2 drawers and shelf for VCR or DVD player, $30 *Comfy folding leather chair, $40 *Floral print 3 person couch, $40 *Lamp $5 *Kitchen ware, pot, pan, spatula, $15 *hangers, 5 for $1 (I have tons) *small drying rack, $10 *4 bamboo 'curtains', $5 each *Cabinet, 3 drawers 1 door, about 2 feet high, $20 *Mirror, free standing, larger than a novel but smaller than a freshman text book, $5 *22 piece silverware set with hanging rack, $10 *area rug, off-white, $10 *blue bathroom door mat, $5 *computer speakers, $10 *small fan, $10 *Swiffer Sweaper, $10 *Trash cans, small pink, small grey with swinging lid, medium grey with swinging lid, $5 each *Corner Bathroom Shelf, 3 shelves, $10 I can e-mail pics of any item, just ask. All items must be picked up in Yeokgok (Line 1, in Bucheon) Call or e-mail Jennifer for arrangements or more information, 016-9562-0509 or [email protected]Last edited by kissa1852 on Wed Mar 01, 2006 7:53 am; edited 3 times in total Back to top csuppleJoined: 12 Feb 2006 Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:04 pm Post subject: tv stand and couch i know this is quite a long shot as you posted your message in january, but i was wondering if you still had your tv stand and couch. i'd like to see pics of them if you're still looking to get rid of them. Back to top MasterjazzJoined: 04 Jan 2006 Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:52 pm Post subject: Pics of the computer speakers if you have them?? Back to top J.B. ClamenceJoined: 15 Jan 2003 Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 12:18 am Post subject: You're selling your used towels? Back to top Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Buy/Sell/Trade Forum All times are GMT - 8 Hours Page 1 of 1 Jump to: Select a forum Forums:----------------FAQJob-related Discussion ForumGeneral Discussion ForumOff-Topic ForumTravel ForumCurrent Events ForumTechnology ForumBuy/Sell/Trade Forum You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot vote in polls in this forum This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling. Contact Dave's ESL Cafe Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved. Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe


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Accused shoplifter arrested again after returning to Merrimack outlet store just days later
January 23. 2013 11:48AM
MERRIMACK – A local woman, accused of shoplifting some items from Saks Fifth Avenue Off Fifth at the Premium Outlets, was arrested for criminal trespass when she returned to the store four days later, police said.
Angela Merrill, 36, of 11 Laurel St., on Wednesday turned herself into police who obtained a warrant for her arrest on charges of theft by unauthorized taking and criminal trespass.
The warrant stemmed from a Jan. 18 incident in which Merrill allegedly entered the store and tried to steal assorted footwear and clothing. Police said she was confronted by store security and held until police arrived.
She was not arrested at that time, but on Tuesday while police were preparing an arrest warrant, Merrill, who was warned to stay off store property, returned to the store, according to a news release.
She was asked to leave and store personnel called police.
What's next: Merrill is free on $1,000 personal recognizance bail with a Feb. 5 arraignment set in 9th Circuit Court, Merrimack District Division.


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NEW YORK (AP) — Adam Frye got the news as he was headed toward the Javits Center on Friday to pick up his packet of material for the New York City Marathon.
The race was canceled. Blame it on Sandy.
"I just flew out today," said Frye, who lives in St. Paul, Minn. "I think I'm a little bit shocked. I never really thought they would cancel it. I kind of feel like they waited to cancel it until people like me had already come so we could spend our money."
He was out $255 for the race fee and $300 for the flight.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg bowed to pressure and called off Sunday's race after promising repeatedly all week that it would be held.
"This race is a very special one for me and millions of people around the world, but I understand why it cannot be held under the current circumstances," said Meb Keflezighi, the 2009 men's champion. "Any inconveniences the cancellation causes me or the thousands of runners who trained and traveled for this race pales in comparison to the challenges faced by people in NYC and its vicinity in the aftermath of Sandy. New York is my favorite place to race, so I will be back to participate in other events soon."
As for the amateur runners, Nikki Davies of London arrived Friday looking forward to the race.
"I can understand not wanting to run through devastated parts of the city," she said. "I thought if they cancel it, they'd cancel it earlier."
But she plans to stay in New York for 10 days. On her agenda?
"A lot of sightseeing," she said.
On Staten Island, one of the hardest-hit areas and where the race was to start, people were waiting for gasoline on Friday night.
"I think we have other priorities to deal with at this point, and it's just not necessary to have at this time," John Sarracco said. "It's something we can maybe look forward to next year."
The marathon usually is a civic celebration. Not just for elite runners, the race attracts crowds that gather in the five boroughs to cheer family and friends, hold up encouraging posters, distribute water cups and drape silver wraps around the shoulders of the finishers.
In buildings along the route, there are untold numbers of parties, ranging from catered feasts to grilled burgers.
Thousands lined Central Park as Geoffrey Mutai of Kenya set a course record last year in 2 hours, 5 minutes, 6 seconds. By the time last-place finisher Mouldi Fehri of France was nearing the end in 9:31:43, traffic had reopened on Central Park South and people hardly took notice.
Sue Ann Ng Martinez of Old Bridge, N.J., finished 46,535th and next to last, the final woman across the line in 2011. This year, she was focused on victims trying to copy with their losses.
"I'm more concerned about the people in Staten Island," Martinez said.
People from all over the globe come to New York for the race. Retired Manchester United goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar had a 4:19 time last year in his first marathon and trained four months this time hoping to improve Sunday. His wife and two children traveled with him from Amsterdam on Thursday and his family planned to run in a 5K on Saturday.
"When you see the relief effort at the moment and people without water and electricity and certain basic needs, it's probably for the better to get the resources to the people who really need it," he said after attending the New York Knicks' opener against the defending NBA champion Miami Heat.
Some complained about the timing.
"I agree that canceling it was the right move, but it the decision should have been made immediately," said Joel Schrock, who was hosting Frye for the weekend. "It's frustrating that they waited so long."
Some runners at the New Yorker Hotel in midtown — just above the blackout zone caused by the superstorm — were in the lobby crying when they learned the race was off. One person was curled up on a couch, sobbing.
"We spend a year on this," said Gisela Clausen of Munich. "We don't eat what we want. We don't drink what we want. And we're on the streets for hours. We live for this marathon, but we understand."
Roberto Dell'Olmo, from Vercelli in northern Italy, said he "would like that the money I give from the marathon goes to victims."
Linda Corbitt of San Francisco was walking to the Javits Center with her daughter when she heard the race was scrapped. Corbitt has leukemia and her daughter planned to run to raise money for a cure.
"I'm sad for the people who trained so hard for many, many months but we understand why the decision was made," Corbitt said. "A lot of people are in pain."
Associated Press writers Cara Anna, Rachel Cohen, Verena Dobnik, Melissa Murphy, Jennifer Peltz, Christina Rexrode and Michael Rubinkam, AP video journalist Ted Shaffrey and researcher Lynn Dombek contributed to this report.


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By Jazmine Woodberry
TUCSON, Arizona (Reuters) - A Republican challenger maintained a slight lead on Wednesday over U.S. Representative Ron Barber, a former aide to Democrat Gabrielle Giffords who was wounded alongside the congresswoman in a deadly shooting last year.
With thousands of ballots still to be counted, Martha McSally, a retired Air Force colonel and former combat pilot, was ahead of Barber by a slender 1,312 votes, the Arizona Secretary of State's office reported.
About 40,000 early ballots and another 40,000 provisional ballots have yet to be counted, the Pima County Recorder's Office said. There were 220,812 votes cast.
Barber, 66, had been considered the front-runner in the contest for the newly created 2nd District. He won a special election in June to serve out the term of Giffords, who suffered a head wound when a gunman opened fire with a semiautomatic pistol at an event at which she was speaking in Tucson. Six people were killed and 13 were wounded.
"The race remains too close to call. Thousands of ballots have yet to be counted, the exact number of which are to be determined," Barber aide Jessica Floyd said in a statement.
Floyd said there were reports of "numerous problems" with voting in Pima County, although she did not specify what they were.
"We will continue to monitor this process and hope to ensure that every person who voted in Southern Arizona has their voice heard," she said.
McSally, 46, was the first U.S. woman pilot to fly in combat, completing two tours in the Middle East. She said she had no indication from election officials when the final tally might be released, but felt optimistic.
"This is not a traditional ending to our general election, but I guess there's nothing traditional about my life so far, so why start now?" she told reporters at a news conference.
"We're not surprised that we're in this position ...We've been telling people all along this is going to be a very close race," she added.
McSally campaigned on a platform of cutting federal regulations and reducing debt and taxes. She also pledged to tighten security on the porous U.S.-Mexico border.
Barber was boosted by an endorsement from Giffords, whose popularity and political stature soared as she battled through a difficult recovery.
Giffords, who moved back to her native Arizona earlier this year after undergoing rehabilitation in Houston, turned out with Barber to vote early at a Tucson polling station on Monday.
(Writing by Tim Gaynor; Additional reporting by David Schwartz; Editing by Cynthia Johnston)


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Skip to comments.The evolution-creation controversy
Posted on 05/11/2007 6:17:56 AM PDT by Chuckmorse
The email entering my box has been abusive in response to my column Why is Evolution a political question (5/8). I wrote the column in response to the Republican Presidential debate in which moderator Chris Matthews asked the candidates How many of you dont believe in evolution? Apparently, for some, questioning the theory of evolution is a cardinal sin. Ive written hundreds of columns over the years and no issue causes more gnashing of teeth than questioning the validity of the theory of evolution. Why is that?
Two basic factors are at play. Firstly, an examination of the theory of evolution, or of the theory of creationism for that matter, causes one to contemplate existential questions such as where did we come from and how did we get here. Any discussion of this type is likely to be emotional and contentious.
Secondly, the theory of evolution has become the creationist story of the secular establishment. The unproven theory of evolution, when cloaked in the sophistries of scientific jargon, allows its adherent to proceed with a smug sense of rightness. The theory of evolution is the very bedrock upon which the secular faith is built.
I support the study of the theory of evolution but more for its philosophical implications than for its science. Evolution is predicated upon the idea that man is nothing more than an evolved animal, soulless, amoral, and tied to natural selection. If animals are evolving, which is to say if the superior survive and mate with each other in order to create a more superior or evolved species, than man would naturally feel compelled to use his ability to further evolve the human species to a higher level.
This was the belief of the Nazis who, as believers in evolution, felt they were acting morally, in the interest of creating a more evolved human species, when they attempted to create a super race by eliminating those who they considered to be members of inferior or less evolved races. This was also the belief of the Communists who employed state power to create their version of a new type of man, one that would be devoid of such regressive traits as self-interest, pride, love, and loyalty to family.
These tendencies stood in the way of the Communist vision of an evolved collective utopia. Both the Nazis and the Communists murdered over 100 million human beings and caused the untold suffering and poverty of hundreds of millions more. They felt entitled to murder those who they believed were blocking the road to evolutionary progress.
Many of the emails I received in response to the aforementioned article were anti-religious and mocked belief in God. There is no question that governments and individuals have committed terrible atrocities in the name of God. We see this happening today with the terrorism of the radical Islamists who seek to scare us into submitting to their will. No one should be forced to believe in God and no government should ever use the secular power of the state to force belief in God. This was why the founding fathers, in their wisdom, ratified an amendment to the Constitution that insured that there would be no establishment of any particular religious denomination in America.
Yet a voluntary belief in a non-denominational higher authority, what Aristotle referred to as the Primus Mobile, implies a belief that there is a greater purpose to life than simply existing and evolving. Belief in God causes an awareness of the existence of an objective and immutable moral code that is beyond the realm of human tampering. If God created man, than every human life is sacred and is to be treated with respect as part of Gods creation. The believer in God answers to a greater authority than the man-made state.
This is why a non-denominational and voluntary teaching of intelligent design, along with the theory of evolution, offers a better understanding of a moral society than the amoral and atheistic theory of evolution. This would be especially useful at a time when our school children are faced with the consequences of moral relativism and violence.
I disagree with J.R. and I suppose most of the FR moderators on the evolution/creation issue, so I don't bring it up in this forum anymore.
There is too many conservative issues at stake to let my scientic beliefs on one issue, interfere with the need to make America a conservative bastion.
It would do us all well to leave the Crevo thing alone and concentrate on National Security, Abortion, Immigration, 2nd Amendment rights....etc.
And, of course, these threads are then little more than preaching to the choir, with all the usual spurious charges. Round up the usual suspects, believers in evolution are amoral commies or Nazis.
My biggest issue with this is that Chuck has broken absolutely no new ground with his comments, they are superficial rewrites of "the best of Dover" threads, seen first right here at FR.
That's very wise of you. I disagree with your scientific beliefs (as I gather them to be from your post), but admire you for being willing to put them aside on the forum for more pressing issues.
Questions for the Democrat debate:
1) How many of you believe people should have the first right to their earnings before the government?
2) How many of you believe delivering 2/3rds of a baby and then sucking out its brains is a moral activity?
3) How many of you believe only the government should have guns?
4) How many of you believe Rush's show should be illegal?
Who picked Chrissy anyhow? Numbskull.
Evolution happens..
I'm with you guys. I think this argument can be set aside for more pressing matters, like how to control runaway spending.
The only way to do this is to get the GOP back to its roots of real conservatism — namely smaller gov't.
I made the mistake once of responding on a Ev. vs. ID once on a thread here. Never have I seen such a level of attack and ridicule directed at me (and others) by the evolutionists. There is no middle ground acceptable to a larget segment of them and their tactics smack of similarities with the extremists of the left.
I now usually just read these threads w/o comment.
I will probably even be attacked for making this comment.
Agreed. That's generally why I avoid most of these Evo/Creationist threads.
I will make one comment on the article that really incenses me. The author comments on the "smug sense of rightness" from the evolutionists, then proceeds to lump them all in with the Liberal, the godless, Communists and Nazis. He won't make many converts that way.
Both points are fundamentally wrong. Nazis were a Christian/pagan hybrid who believed their Eugenics was perfecting Creation and the Communists outlawed evolution in favor of other biological theories that caused disasterous harvests. If you were an outspoken proponent of evolution, you were sent to a gulag. Evolution implies that a free market system is more efficeint at growth than a centrally planned one.
It's nonsense like Chuck Morse is propagating that upsets people that actually know what they are talking about.
I actually disagree with the question. Nobody should "believe" in evolution.
The problem with this is statement that there is no scientific evidence supporting intelligent design. It is a religious belief, not a scientific theory.
By teaching ID, you have to get science out of the way. Not just evolution, but physics, chemistry, etc. After all, ID needs intellectual affermative action, a socialist forced introduction, because it has no scientific merits to promote it. Perfect way to get back to the Dark Ages.
I am with you...
Though just one comment of my own: All the evolutionists are free to call on evolution the day they die to come and save them from the power of the grave.
Actually it's your completely BS twist that says anything about the "superior" surviving. Evolution is about adaptation to environmental changes.
>>This is why a non-denominational and voluntary teaching of intelligent design, along with the theory of evolution, offers a better understanding of a moral society than the amoral and atheistic theory of evolution. This would be especially useful at a time when our school children are faced with the consequences of moral relativism and violence.<<
What class would you teach that in?
Right arm!
Evolution is merely an engine in God's perfect machine, allowing the system to change and improve over time without Him having to constantly meddle with things.
Chuck I can't help but notice that since 2003, all you have done here is post a series of post and runs. You start thread after thread. Every thread links back to your sites. You never acknowledge or respond to any replies.
Plus you post them all in news.
That's not a cool way to treat the site.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.


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Jimmy Kimmel Sparked a New Late-Night Feud With Will Ferrell and Ryan Gosling
Kimmel cuts into their QVC knife show at 11:30 p.m.
The incessant promotion of Jimmy Kimmel's new time slot keeps getting better and better. On the heels of Jennifer Aniston's sledgehammer action Tuesday night, Will Ferrell made a surprise appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, made all the sweeter with the eye candy offered by scheduled guest Ryan Gosling. Apparently, Kimmel is now cutting into their three-month-old QVC knife show scheduled for 11:30 p.m. "You might want to check the sign-in sheet," Ferrell scolded Kimmel. "I didn't even know there was a sign-in sheet," confessed Kimmel, innocently enough. "Well, there is, and my name is on it." Gosling didn't appreciate the toe-stepping, either. "What the hell are you doing here, Jimmy? ... We sell knives at eleven-thirty. Everyone knows that." And so, the predecessor continued, but this new late-night feud wasn't bloodless. Watch how the Knife Guys' resentment went down in the video, straight ahead.


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Wildlife Decorative Fire Rings, Wall Sconces, Cooking Grill and Fire Poker
Kim and Diane Pruchnofski began P & D as a small fabrication and repair shop in 1998. As P & D began to seek other opportunities they recognized the chance to create and sell ornamental metal items for yards and gardens which included decorative fire rings. To handle the demand for these products P & D purchased a 2400 square foot shop to fabricate their items. Through working with numerous contractors and customers P & D earned a reputation for high quality workmanship and excellent service. P & D continues to offer unique quality crafted metal products, which includes, fire rings, wall sconces, campfire grill, and fire poker.