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Carolyn Hax
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, October 31, 2008 12:00 PM
In her daily column in The Washington Post Style section, Carolyn Hax offers readers advice based on the experiences of someone who's been there. Hax is an ex-repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes.
Carolyn was online Friday, October 31 taking your questions and comments about her current advice column and any other questions you might have about the strange train we call life. Her answers may appear online or in an upcoming column.
A transcript follows.
E-mail Carolyn at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Got more to say? Check out Carolyn's discussion group, Hax-Philes. Comments submitted to the chat may be used in the discussion group.
Carolyn Hax: Boo.
N.Y., N.Y.: I have been seeing a wonderful man for 4 months. He is fairly religious. (I'm not.) He does not believe in premarital sex. Is this relationship doomed?
Carolyn Hax: If you can reconcile his views with yours, then, no. If you can't, then, yes.
Washington, D.C.: Are you more caffeinated because of the earlier chat time?
Carolyn Hax: NO. DOES IT SEEM AS IF I'M MORE CAFFEINATED? BECAUSE I'M NOT MORE CAFFEINATED. I DON'T THINK.
San Francisco: Carolyn,
How can I politely decline requests - and there are numerous - to stay at my house? Yes, I have the room, but really don't want people staying more than 4 nights, and am really getting tired of relatives only staying one night, sort of a drive-by. Sometimes I don't even see them as they arrive late and leave early. I want to scream that I'm not a B&B and don't enjoy having to clean up after them because they're too cheap to stay at a motel. I guess I'm getting fed up because it's been going on for years. Maybe I'm getting cranky in my old age!
Carolyn Hax: "I'm sorry, this isn't a good time. I do hope, though, that we can arrange a visit for a time that works for us both." That would be for the drivers-by. For the over-stayers, you can just say the first part without the second, or you can say sure, but just start telling people outright that you have a three-day limit.
As with anything else, it's a decision you have to make: Do you want to be the person who never wants to risk offending anyone (at the cost of your personal space), or do you want to be the person who has privacy at home (at the cost of potentially appearing ungracious)? Believing in the appropriateness of your choice is your best defense against regrets.
Md.: My boyfriend of a few months invited me to attend a wedding in December in which he will be a part of the wedding party. I will know no one else there. Should I go?
Carolyn Hax: People keep asking me to make their decisions for them. Should I?
If it sounds like it might be interesting, go. If it sounds like something you'll dread from "yes" to "goodbye," then don't go.
Going will cost the hosts a decent amount of money, so I would suggest going only if you're ready to mingle and be a good sport about it.
How about Sugared?: In other words, have you been into the Halloween candy yet?
Carolyn Hax: No, believe it or not. Been too busy. But now that you mention it ...
Washington, D.C.: Hi Carolyn, I'm trying to figure out how to quit something that has become like a bad habit for me, partially by determining my motivations for this behavior. I've been married for 11 years and have 3 young sons. My marriage had many rough patches at first, but the last few years with my husband have been wonderful.
The problem - I've been having an affair for the last year and a half. No matter how many times I end it, I miss whatever it is that I'm getting from this other man and call him again. I rationalize this by saying to myself that it's okay to indulge in this one very selfish behavior because in every other way I am a wonderful wife and mother (I really am one of those "supermoms" who lives for her family). I'm not sure if I'm cheating because I'm insecure and need the validation, if I'm addicted to the adrenaline rush I get from sneaking around behind my husband's back, or what it is that I'm getting from this affair. FWIW, my husband and I have a wonderful sex life, so my life isn't lacking in that area.
Although I seem too be in denial regarding the consequences of this affair, intellectually I know that I could be on the path to destroying my family, which means more to me than anything else in my life.
Any insights?
Carolyn Hax: No, you are not one of those "'supermoms' who live for their families." You are creating the elaborate facade of one to feed one need of yours, while carrying on an affair to feed another need that undermines everything you're purporting to be.
If your husband is not a fellow believer in complex emotional dealmaking, then this is not something you can rationalize as "okay." An affair is not the sundae you can afford to eat after you've gone on a 10-mile run. It's bringing your excitement and rapt attention outside the marriage, when I imagine your husband would prefer to receive, and deserves to receive, those particular gifts himself.
I won't be naive about those complex deals I mentioned before; I do realize there are couples who believe they bring their best to each other by stirring things up occasionally on the side. But whether you believe this yourself or find it dubious at best, it still remains that the only way this stands up as acceptable even to believers is when both parties consent to it. Having a separate self to which your husband doesn't consent, and which may announce itself to him in the form of a sexually-transmitted singing telegram--or, unless you've had a tubal ligation, a child not his own for him to bust his butt to raise, in possible ignorance--makes denial not only immoral, but cruel.
Because you've got such a separation between your intellectual awareness and your emotional acts, and between your image and reality, I'm going to go beyond the you-need-to-end-this advice (duh) and urge you to get some competent, reputable counseling. You don't know your motives, by your own admission, and also by your own admission you are poised to sabotage something you value to point of calling it "wonderful." Emotional fabric with that big a tear in it belongs in the hands of a pro.
Battleground State wedding (update): You kindly gave me advice a few weeks ago about my friend who was baiting (?) me to discourage her to get married. I took it. I asked her if she wanted me to point out what bad reasons she was offering for getting married. She didn't get mad at me, which was a relief, but also said that she was just confused, but did think it was a good idea. Fast forward to the interesting update: I went to her wedding last weekend and -- it doesn't just happen in the movies, folks -- she decided not to walk down the aisle about 30 minutes prior to the wedding. My MOH duties became a good deal more involved than holding extra flowers, but we made it through the weekend and I tried to just get things done and make sure she didn't have to worry about more than was necessary. In the end, I really admire her bravery (this took real guts), even though it would have been tactically better to be brave a few months earlier. Just a reminder to anyone out there doubting themselves on decisions: It isn't over until it's over, but if you know in your true self that something is a bad idea, it may be good to listen to that inner voice before there are 80 guests for your family to explain it to. Still, better late than never.
Carolyn Hax: Thank you for the update. Obviously both are better for this in the long run, but in the immediate aftermath, hope both non-bride and non-groom are okay.
D.C.: "People keep asking me to make their decisions for them. Should I?" I suppose you should. You are in the advice giving business; yet you seem surprised when people ask you to advise them about decisions.
Carolyn Hax: Even a bad joke suffers when you explain it, but here goes.
I'm in the advice-giving business, which means I am happy to help people filter out the more important elements of a decision, so those decisions can be, if not always the right ones, then at least thoughtful ones.
The decisions always, always belong to the people making them, and are only as good as they are suitable for the individual(s) affected by them. I've spent 11.5 years carefully not making people's decisions for them, except when they fall within such narrow parameters as dating abusers or cheating on their beloved spouses with whom they are raising three small children. I'm not going to decide which sandwich you order.
Austin, Tex.: I am 6 months pregnant. My mother-in-law (a nice but somewhat controlling person) keeps bringing up natural childbirth, how she didn't use any painkillers, how it was a shame that other women (like MY mother) do, how much better natural childbirth is for the baby, etc. Then she asks what I'm going to do. I say that I don't know yet, we'll see how it goes. But she keeps bringing it up, and it makes me want to scream! Do you have any idea how I might tactfully shut down this topic of conversation permanently?
Carolyn Hax: Give her a book called "Birth," by Tina Cassidy. In the early chapters she can read for herself that the ability to give birth without medical intervention depends upon the shape of a woman's pelvis and the size of the fetus. Because of modern nutrition, babies are actually, on average, bigger than they used to be. So, while many women can still go commando, not every woman can, and it's not always up to her. (You can also skip the book and cite this yourself--it's fascinating but graphic and upsetting at times, especially, I imagine, for someone with one in the oven.)
After you state the fact, then say you hope you'll have her support in making the best decision for your baby's and your health.
I know, trying to deflect zealots with facts is like trying to paint out the sun, but it's worth a try just in case she isn't a zealot. And if her refusal to back down reveals that her controlling tendencies will be in full flower around this birth (and subsequent child-rearing, pretty much guaranteed), then at least you'll know what you're dealing with and can don the appropriate armor.
Brooklyn, N.Y.: Where can I get one of those pumpkin signs that say "no candy at this residence" that they are sending to sex offenders? I'm not a sex offender, but I can't think of a better way to keep people away tonight. Yeah, I'm the grinch, so what.
Carolyn Hax: paper, markers, tape?
Newlywed: Hi Carolyn. What are the kids going to be for Halloween?
I do also need advice. I'm 6 months into my first marriage, I'm adjusting to being a step-mom, I'm at an unhappy crossroads about what to do when I grow up (I'm early 30's but career clueless), and am pretty down. I have a history of depression, so I know the deal. My problem is that my solution to handling all of this is to really withdraw from my husband. I know I'm doing it, I know it's affecting us, and yet it's still what I'm doing. We really feel like 2 people who are co-existing rather than connecting and knowing it's my fault isn't helping my mood.
Any advice on how to push through this? Or figure out how to do better at talking to him? He definitely tries to "fix" things whenever anything is wrong and he's wonderfully supportive - to the point of being suffocating sometimes (like I can do anything! I can go to Mars if that's what I really want!) I'm very lucky to have him. I'm just struggling with...almost everything right now. Help? I've done years of therapy before but am not quite eager to do it again right now, partially because I need to find someone new on my new insurance.
Carolyn Hax: Just to dispense with the obvious, new insurance is an annoyance, not a legitimate obstacle to necessary health care.
But I know what you're saying, and while it's always important that depression be treated in a responsible way, that isn't the entirety of your problem. You also a need a constructive way to talk to your husband while you get through the various things you have to get through, both medical and non-.
From the perspective of the person on the outside, silence is the absolute worst. So you're right that your withdrawal has consequences that add to the problem. On top of that, though, silence also creates desperation, and desperation can turn someone who tries to "fix" things into a power-fixer, a 24-7 solution factory--exactly what you don't need.
So, talk to him. Not to supply your own answers (especially since the whole problem is that you don't have any), but instead to put a name to everything you are feeling. Points that I believe are important to hit:
-You are struggling with all these adjustments.
-This does not mean you aren't committed to them.
-It does mean you are falling back into an old habit of withdrawing.
-You know it's not good to withdraw. You are trying.
-Here are the things he can do to help you with this effort: (Not trying to solve everything, for example, and just listening; or asking questions; or asking what you need; or leaving you alone when your face has that stricken look; or talking about something else; or taking his children to dinner without you once a week; whatever.)
-Are there things he would like you to do to make this easier on him?
That's the kind of conversation that may not solve everything, but can give you both a working set of solutions for day-to-day situations, which you can always tweak as you go along. When you take some of the guessing away, you take a lot of each other's vulnerabilities away, which will help you communicate more fearlessly. That's the path to connecting.
Washington, D.C.: I moved into a new office a few months ago. I hit it off immediately with one of my new officemates, who has a very generic name. Recently, she showed me vacation pictures and I realized that her husband (who has a different name) was a guy I had, um, hooked up with numerous times. After I did the math, I realized that I had hooked up with him while he was dating and engaged to my officemate!! What makes it even worse is that we've exchanged emails in the past few months, but clearly nothing substantial enough that he figured it out.
Now, I feel horrendous. I didn't know the guy was dating someone. While it was a casual thing (and thus, we were both open to seeing other people), he was clearly very serious with her. I have no intention of telling her but it's clear that our friendship is heading in a direction where I will likely meet her husband and socialize with him.
I really don't know how to handle this one.
Carolyn Hax: If it's inevitable that you meet the husband, then I think you have to admit you dated him. You don't want to get in the position of having to maintain any fictions here. That doesn't mean you hand over the intricately detailed truth; it just means you decide right now that it's not your job to cover for anyone else. When asked, you give an honest but limited answer. E.g.: "When did you and he go out?" "A few years ago/a long time ago/in the '90s"--whatever broad answer happens to be true.
If you think of that as being an agent of marital destruction, think of it this way: You don't know which horse is the right horse to bet on here. In other words, is helping to protect this marriage absolutely the route to the best outcome? Sure, maybe--but maybe your well-meaning reflex to shield her from the truth will only strain things further between husband and wife. Maybe she already knows a good deal of this already and just doesn't know the ID of the mystery woman--and your dissembling would leave her marriage intact but ruin her opinion of you. It's just not possible to figure out where this is going to go, and so your only choice is to be outcome-neutral and, again, studiously avoid creating any fictions you would then be obliged to maintain.
The best way to get this new policy started, I think, is to make sure there are more e-mails with the husband, and to cop to having dated him next time you're faced with his image--be it in person or on another photo. "When I saw the pictures, I thought, no way--that's too much of a coincidence. But now I'm sure, he and I dated once."
Finally, in case it needs to be said: Any resulting mess is just the culmination of one he created, not a new one created by you.
Carolyn Hax: That answer seems to cry out for a "Good luck with that."
It also cries out for dissenting opinions, to help the thought process. Bring em on.
As if you ever need to be encouraged to.
Washington, D.C.: So my husband and I decided a while ago to host Turkey day at our house this year, mainly because we want to start some new traditions with our baby. In the past, we've spent this day with my in-laws (either their home, their friend's home or a restaurant) because my MIL would remind us that "This may be Grandpa's (her dad's) last T-day".
Well, I'm silently fuming because the in-laws decided to spend the holiday on vacation abroad instead. Should I say how upset I am by this or hold my tongue? On the upside, I won't be held to their schedule of how turkey day should be!
Carolyn Hax: Not sure I get why you're fuming. Now that you've made it clear you're not traveling, they've revealed their Grandpa rationale to have been a false pretense all these years?
Battle lines: You're slower than usual today. Short on questions? Here, I'll help. My husband and I are having some tense times. I'm a ironbreaker and he's my runepriest, so it's my job to charge into the back lines and beat on the zealots and goblin shamans while he keeps me healed. Usually this works out pretty well for us. However, he's starting to get really distracted by healing other people, so when I'm retreating because I'm taking too much damage, he misses my heals by a split second because he was busy resurrecting some random stranger and I die. Then he gets upset, and somehow I wind up feeling like it's my fault because I charged in too deep. Do we need professional help?
Carolyn Hax: No, just a few days without electricity.
Arlington, Va.: My sister got married last year and she and her husband were blessed with a baby this year. At Christmas he will be the center of attention, and delightfully so. She has already started hinting about what "the baby wants." Now, I think this is ridiculous, as my beautiful nephew is only 6 months old and all of "his" wants are yet to be formed. I plan on spoiling the kid rotten, but can't help feel a little resentful about being handed yet another registry list from my sister. I mean, seriously, after the engagement gift, wedding shower, bacholerette party, bridal party expenses, baby shower, etc... I thought we were finally going to be able to get our own gifts for my nephew. Am I wrong or resentful or both? I love the holidays, and my nephew, but seriously, when am I going to be off the hook with the registries?
Carolyn Hax: Would you please talk to your sister? All the hinting and cutesy speaking for a 6-month-old and the thinly veiled shakedowns are making -me- resentful of your sister, and my exposure is limited to a faceful of electrons which I hope I will purge from memory about 15 min from now.
Baby-centric demands like this create monsters everywhere: in the parents, who develop a sense of entitlement to the spotlight; in the children, who do likewise; and in the family members who resent but don't confront, and try to push their own agendas through subversive means such as buying the gifts they want to buy without regard for whether the family needs or wants it. It's enough to make everyone spend December overseas.
You used the words "blessed" and "delightfully"; I'm guessing you can remain in character while explaining that you take great joy in finding your own gifts, and so would like to find some other way to avoid duplication than a registry list. Say, you call with your ideas before you buy anything?
Ditto, Ditto: A humorous question asked in sincerity-- and I am looking for advice, not a decision! I recently started dating a man with the same name as mine. We both have one of those names that could go both ways, like Jesse/Jessi. People generally think it's funny, and there's also a presumption it will never work. I've also gotten WAY too many people who have told me about Paris Hilton's ex also named Paris (who follows that crap?). So my question is, we're starting to get more serious. Should I put up with this for the rest of my life? Should one of us adopt a new nickname? Will we have to name our first child the same name?! My real question is, since people are really starting to annoy me, how can I deflect what will obviously be a joke that will never die?
Carolyn Hax: As someone who just witnessed a tall person being asked if he ever played basketball, I think I can assure you with fresh confidence that your best chance is to accept this joke will never die as long as you stay with Jesse. So, just make sure Jesse is worth it, and have the following handy: "Funny, that never occurred to us before."
Carolyn Hax: Good luck with that!
Portland, OR: For the woman who dated her office mate's husband: She also needs to consider that the wife may already know. It might not be a coincidence that they "hit it off immediately." Which is another compelling reason for tactful honesty. Might also be another reason for giving the husband a heads up as well.
Carolyn Hax: Thanks. Another one:
NYC: re: the woman with a past with spouse of a colleague...
...if I were in her position, I'd like to know what her 'ex' has told his wife...
...if he's been open and honest, that makes life easiser; if he's self-conscious or ashamed - or, worse yet, dishonest, deceptive and dismissive - that's good to know, also...
given that this woman did have a relationship with the guy, I think she's entitled to communicate with him to clarify his perceptions and concerns, as well... not to do so dismisses him a little too cavalierly for my taste...
she should - discreetly - reach out to him and learn more.
Carolyn Hax: Thank you, too. More to come if I see them.
I think you mis-typed: Carolyn--to the woman who dated the officemate's husband (pre-marriage but post-engagement) you said:
"The best way to get this new policy started, I think, is to make sure there are more e-mails with the husband..." did you mean NO more emails?
By the way, sometimes I write and hope that you'll address my issue. But really, I got nothing like the people writing today. Interesting issues, with really good responses. What a nice lunchtime break.
Carolyn Hax: Thadnlksdn, and thjaankjs for catching the typing mistake. I did mean no more emails. Tho the argument for mentioning something to the husband has merit.
A little closer, UK: Dear Carolyn - My husband, young son, and I moved to the UK earlier this year for a temporary job (his). He is English and throughout our relationship, his parents bemoaned his living so far away. Of course it got worse after we had our kid, all sorts of guilt inducing comments, despite the fact that we spend every vacation with his family in England. He travels a lot and his parents always say how they wished we lived closer so they could help us out, babysit, do more with our son. Well, we've lived closer for almost a year now (45 minutes away) and they have visited us twice and never watched our son or planned anything special with him. We were up there visiting every other week but my husband is too busy with work to make the drive the last three months. We just went back to the US for a few weeks to see my family and his mom started again with 'He'll have grown so much while he was away' nonsense. How do I say 'Hey, either get in the car and visit him or shut it' in a way that does not start another international incident? Sometimes I think she likes the complaining more than the visiting...
Carolyn Hax: How about this: She does like the complaining more than the visiting.
Finding out that someone is all talk is not new, it just requires an adjustment of mind-set. Don't take her words at face value, and instead visit with a frequency that suits both your schedule, and your sense of what's good for your son.
It's obviously not an exact science, figuring out how much exposure to family makes for good emotional bonds. However, once you have information that allows you to form realistic expectations, then you can make more educated guesses as to the right amount of exposure. You can also get into the habit of asking every once in a while whether they'd like to come visit. It shows your interest in including them while putting the onus on them to live up to their words.
Talking to the Husband: I think a heads-up to the husband is fine, but why worry about getting the stories straight? Or finding out what he's told his wife? That way she would be injecting herself into the drama, and to what end?
All she needs to worry about is her story - not his. To try to find out more would only be to complicate matters and perhaps make her complicit in something she has nothing to do with -
Carolyn Hax: Thanks. Makes an important distinction between letting him know and getting sucked in.
For the Woman Living in a Small Office/World: Definitely tell now, before the socializing with the happy couple begins - when it will get more awkward, not less.
She's done nothing wrong - to say nothing now that she knows of the connection would be to act as though she has - and, really, who knows what was going on with the couple during that time period? Perhaps they were on a break, despite the seeming coincidence.
But tell now, before it's too late -
Carolyn Hax: Thanks. Feedback seems mostly to be along these lines.
Silently fuming here again: Thanks for responding. I guess I'm fuming because yes, they used Grandpa to guilt us into spending T-day with them, and not my side of the family. And there's no long-distance traveling involved - they live 30 minutes away so we see them and Grandpa all the time. I guess it's our fault for letting them guilt us into it.
Carolyn Hax: Yeah, that's one way to look at it. And no one can blame you for upping your skepticism with them from now on. But if you can do anything to deal with the fuming, that would help. It's quite possible that they really wanted to see you two on the holiday and weren't fully cognizant of their manipulation. How they approach future holidays might tell you quite a bit; there's a chance your decision this year liberated them to see holidays in a new way.
It does seem, too, that people get their egos all knotted up into the issue of which family their paired off children choose to visit, and how often. It's ridiculous and corrosive, for sure, but it's also quite human.
As I said, feel free to bring a new level of skepticism to their claims of where you HAVE TO be for holidays, by all means, but try not to let this turn into a full-blown resentment.
A new spin on declining holiday invites: So here's my dilemma. Years ago my beloved and I decided to split each holiday season in two and spend Thanksgiving with one set of parents/in-laws and Christmas with the other and then switch it back and forth each year. So this year it's Thanksgiving with my parents in NM and Christmas with his in LA. Here's the problem though. I'm in the middle of treatment for infertility and there's a very good chance that I will be faced with a decision of whether to go forward with a procedure that may get me pregnant Thanksgiving weekend or go home and spend time with my parents. If I skip the procedure in November then the next month I could do it is... you guessed it, Christmas. And for my own reasons I don't really want to take the holidays "off" -- I'm good at counting ahead so I figured this out months ago. My husband has not. And neither has my mom who knows about our infertility treatments. I hate to just drop the bomb that we probably can't or won't go anywhere this holiday season and yet I can't figure out how to tell them. Help.
Carolyn Hax: My goodness. You just say no, and you look ahead to a time when you can visit in the near future. Love your family, care about your family, stay close to your family, share your highs and lows with your family, but don't schedule your life to please your family. If they see their disappointment as your problem, then there's a bigger problem.
re: 1 year affair and office mate's cheating fiance: These stories scare me. Been happily married a year, I think. How do we know this stuff doesn't go on behind our backs? Are there always signs of cheating?
Carolyn Hax: There are only signs if you see them, and you certainly don't want to get into the business of looking. That's not only a highly unreliable way to find out if something's wrong, but also a sure way to kill anything that's going right.
Life is risk. The more you love, the more you risk; the more you have, the more you risk. As long as you're not willfully denying something you know to be true, there's nothing wrong with keeping your attention on the more, without any more than honest but passing regard for the risk.
RE: advice giver: I agree with a previous poster that you should tell people what to do if they ask. Psychologists help people figure out what to do, you should tell them your "full" opinion if asked.
Carolyn Hax: I do give my full opinion. It simply doesn't include a decision, because I honestly don't know what decision will be right for someone I don't know.
It is my understanding that therapists are less at liberty than I am to speak their minds. They are discouraged from advising, and instead are charged with guiding their patients toward finding their own answers.
Carolyn Hax: It is my full opinion that I now must go. Thanks for stopping by at this strange time, have a spooky Halloween, and I'll type to you next week at the usual noon.
for Ditto Ditto: My name is Mark. I married a woman whose name is Mindy (not Melinda, but Mindy). You are absolutely right, CH, we still get people making jokes about Mork & Mindy like they are the FIRST PERSON TO NOTICE. Seriously. "Wow, until you said Nanoo Nanoo, I hadn't even noticed it..."
We often introduce ourselves as Mindy & Mark just to try and avoid the HILARIOUS jokes (sorry, Emily Post).
In other words, get used to it. The supply of clueless, non-original jokesters is seemingly endless.
Mork signing off.
Carolyn Hax: Had to share this. Byeee.
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text:
The conference brought together attendees from over 20 countries, representing an array of sectors that was both diverse and distinct from what I've seen at CES. Their focus on institutions in government, parliament and government audit made for an interesting mix. High-level government presenters talked about how they are institutionalizing evaluation. This was not evaluators as outsiders looking in, but rather institutions conceptualizing evaluation as a core function. The discussion led me to reflect on questions of evaluation use and our conference theme. Ultimately, conversations about innovation, action and reflection in evaluation are motivated not only by our intrinsic desire to use evaluation to innovate and improve, but we are also called to serve societal needs, which was a theme underlying the discourse at the RFE conference.
There was a place at the RFE conference to strengthen the role of Voluntary Organizations for Professional Evaluation (VOPEs); this inspired us to issue an invitation to volunteer organizations in Canada, CES Chapter Councils and CES Board Members, to come together during CES 2017 to become familiar with the work that each of us is doing, build relationships, and find opportunities to collaborate.
There was also a focus at the RFE conference on supporting emerging evaluators. The network of francophone emerging evaluators (RF-Ee) was officially launched at the CES conference in Montreal, and continues to play a leadership role in supporting emerging evaluators. Our own CES BC and Yukon (CESBCY) Chapter's Michelle Naimi has played a leadership role for us locally in supporting student and emerging evaluators, and is now joined by Carolyn Camman, as a conference volunteer and new CESBCY Council Member. Under Michelle's leadership, CESBCY initiated a number of student activities, including student events, student presentations, student bursaries, and mentoring programs. We are bringing that spirit to the CES 2017 conference, in alignment with the international work being done by CES and other international groups, to recognize the important role of students and emerging evaluators in the future of our profession.
The RFE conference also supported dialogue about innovations in evaluation methodology, and key areas of international significance, including human rights and Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs). We know that presenters are bringing their own innovations, action and reflection as the basis for discussion in Vancouver, and we are building in novel networking events to support lively conversations.
Finally, I'm proud to report a great deal of interest internationally in the CE, as CES has played an important leadership role in the professionalization of evaluation. I am grateful for the inspiring discussions and ideas at the RFE conference. I look forward to building on that inspiration and contributing to the momentum in our field at CES 2017.
Read the proceedings (in French) here: http://www.portail-rfe.org/ressources-du-fife2

subset: commoncrawl


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On February 26, Bill No. 1024, titled "An Act Concerning the Security of Consumer Data," was introduced in the Insurance Committee of the Connecticut General Assembly. The bill requires health insurers, health care centers (a particular type of health insurer under Connecticut law that is akin to an HMO) and "other entities licensed to do health insurance business in Connecticut," pharmacy benefits managers, third-party administrators that administer health benefits, and utilization review companies to implement data security technology that encrypts the personal information of insureds and enrollees compiled or maintained by the entity. The phrase "other entities licensed to do health insurance business in Connecticut" is undefined in the legislation and has the potential to be construed broadly, thereby effectively expanding the universe of entities to which this legislation could be deemed to apply.
The bill defines "encrypt" as "the transformation of electronic data into a form in which meaning cannot be assigned without the use of a confidential process or key." The term "personal information" is defined to mean an individual's first name or initial and last name in combination with one or more of the following: Social Security number, driver's license number or other state identification number, address, or identifiable health information. The bill requires the Connecticut Commissioner of Insurance to promulgate regulations, in consultation with the state Commissioner of Consumer Protection, to establish minimum data security standards and to implement the requirements of the bill.
The data security technology requirements must be implemented no later than two years after the effective date of the bill, and entities subject to the law must update their technology as necessary to ensure compliance with the requirements.
Bill No. 1024, which is modeled in part on a similar New Jersey data encryption law passed in January, was introduced by Connecticut State Senate Democrats in the aftermath of the Anthem Health Insurance data breach in early February. According to a release by State Senate Democrats, Anthem Health Insurance is one of Connecticut's largest health insurers and the data breach impacted more than 1.1 million people in the state.
Like the New Jersey law, the Connecticut legislation mandates the use of encryption but is silent as to other measures that insurers can or should take to make it more difficult for attackers to access the systems containing the encrypted information. It remains to be seen how the legislation will evolve as it makes its way through the Connecticut legislative process.


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Xiaofeng from Stafford, Tx writes,
Is the Advion Roach Bait Gel still working when it dries up?
I noticed that the gel dries up after 2-3 days, and gets hard. Is it still going to work?
The gel will work even after it hardens though it does work best when it is soft. The gel will dry out quickly if you place it on a porous surface or if you place it in an area where it is exposed to air currents (heating or cooling vents). You can help avoid these situations by placing the Advion Roach Bait Gel in disposable bait plate stations. Bait Plate Stations are low-profile, economic and easy-to-use plastic stations that hold gel, liquid and granular baits for ants, roaches and other crawling insects.
Answer last updated on: 01/04/2012
107 of 117 people found this answer helpful. Was it helpful to you? Yes No


text:
Tour Scotland photographs and videos from my tours of Scotland. Photography and videography, both old and new, from beautiful Scotland, Scottish castles, seascapes, rivers, islands, landscapes, standing stones, lochs and glens.
Tour Scotland Video Bluebells Kinclaven Woods Perthshire
Tour Scotland video of Scottish bluebells in the woods located by the road between Kinclaven and Murthly on ancestry visit to rural Perthshire, Scotland. These are native Scottish bluebells a very beautiful sight growing wild throughout Scotland. Britain has 50% of the bluebells in the world. And, there is nothing in the world that looks, or smells like a Bluebell wood in Spring.
All photographs are copyright of Sandy Stevenson, Tour Scotland, and may not be used without permission.
View the most recent Tour Scotland photographs.
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What sort of going forth is correct?
The kind that aims straight for liberation!
Can't you stay at home just as well?
Sure, but it isn't nearly as convenient!
How is being a wanderer speedier?
Ones feet are lighter when not carrying a house!
Where is liberation found before time runs out?
In not clinging to anything to tie you up!
What is given up to not get all trussed up?
Give up hugging all the fruits one might find!
How do we give it up so as not to be strangled?
Simple let go of self and all self's stuff!
* * *
Whatever must be done, do it joyfully,
No need for even a hair's breath of suffering.
Why foolishly gnaw on life like an old bone,
Making human birth nothing but misery!
Incompetent at adjusting one's mind to the facts,
Making life torture and assassinating the joy
One ought to find every moment everywhere.
Roasting oneself to a crisp — what fun is that?
Come on folks, give this some intelligent thought:
This human birth, in what way is it any good?
It ought to be good at freedom from suffering —
Suffering itself will never amount to anything of value.
The world today is encyclopedically foolish,
because of texts heaped upon us to death's door,
all these books, papers, journals, and the rest
as we outdo each other in overflowing the libraries.
With scriptures flooding their heads till they waddle,
knowledge flooding their hearts most pitifully,
weary scholars washed out by their studies,
a world staggering without the light of Dhamma.
The more learning the more stupid, it's hard to believe,
but the simple matter is ridiculously thus,
learning only what pulls the mind into more karma,
fondling sensuality, raving mad about status & fame.
Lots of play, eating too much, excessive money,
babbling speech, indulgent veterans in obscenity,
whoever upsets is joyfully cursed all day long —
yet they think this gravely malignant ignorance is good.
A low pillow makes it easy and pleasant to sleep supine!
But with a thick pillow you're in danger of sudden death,
Your neck broken in a snap, all ready for the coffin —
It's so much more safe to sleep on one's side!
Dear Father rules over two or three fluffy pillows
Spooking himself just to excuse padding his body!
Don't even bother with them, they wear you out.
Whether on side or back, use an arm for support!
Sleep just enough. Don't linger after the pleasures
Of sleep, not wanting to get up. It's a brain disease
With selfish defilements puffing up the heart
Until we need far too many luxuries for our own good.
* * *
Mara* exists when we want things good or to get,
Even wanting to die Mara exists most peculiarly,
Because the grasping of "ME" is so excessive
Desire in all its guises never falls into disuse.
If there's no wanting to get or be anything
How could Mara exist? So why not oppose it!
Don't go wanting anything through not knowing,
Then no Mara will ever appear before you!
Think, speak, and do everything with wisdom
You don't really need to crave anything, now, do you?
Without desires it's so much more cool & peaceful,
What Mara could happen then? There's just no way!
Note: Mara*, The Killer, the Buddhist personification of evil
Please tell me, why do you love to curse them?
What? I don't like cursing anybody at all!
Then why do all your words pierce the heart?
How can they pierce if the heart is good?
They rumor that you scold magnificently & loudly.
Only dirty minded souls think such a thing!
Well, it hurts and penetrates their hearts.
Those who eat lime will always get heartburn!
If you don't like to, why stir up such resentment?
They're in hopeless trouble already, so I strike!
Can't you hold back just a bit, can't you wait?
When else do you beat iron but when it's still soft!
If we say, "the more progress, the more insane,"
It looks rather hard that we'll find any takers,
Because everyone likes progress that exceeds reality —
Progress like a spirit possession is even better!
The world progresses beyond its means and Nature breaks up
Many strange things changing the world sorrowfully,
Making humans into an extraordinary species
Caught up in killing both above and below the ground.
The more progress, the more it boils and bathes in blood;
The smarter, the more sinful, far worse than the stone age;
Creating tortuous problems proliferating endlessly,
The whole world clings to craziness as progress.
Buddhadasa shall live, there's no dying.
Even when the body dies, listening to no one,
Whether it is or goes doesn't matter at all,
that's only something passing through time.
Buddhadasa carries on, there's no dying.
Through ups and downs always one with the teaching.
As befits ones who's offered body and mind
In ceaseless service under Lord Buddha's command.
Buddhadasa lives on, there's no dying.
In service to all humanity without resting
through the Dhamma proclamations left behind —
O Friends, can't you see that nothing dies?
Even when I die and the body ceases forever
my voice still echoes in comrades' ears
clear and bright, as joyfully loud as ever.
Just as if I never died the Dhamma-body lives on.
Carry on with me as if I never died,
as though I am with you all as before.
Speak up whatever Dhamma is on your minds
as if I sit among you helping point out the facts.
Treat me as if I never died,
then many streams of benefits will accrue.
Don't forget the days set aside for Dhamma discussion,
Realize the End and stop dying!
Buddhadasa Bhikkhu (on the occasion of his eightieth birthday, 27 May 1987)
[Translated by Santikaro Bhikkhu, 28 April 1994]
Note: "Buddhadasa" in this poem doesn't primarily refer to him.
Dukkha always occurs through three causes:
1. doing abundant evil in the past,
2. not doing any good right now, which is common,
3. not lifting the mind above worldly things.
There's no dukkha when three causes occur:
1. much supporting good done in the past,
2. right now, always doing only what is good,
3. keeping the mind upright, undeluded, & sober.
If you know how to train the mind even higher,
not messing around with pleasure & pain,
letting go of everything, freed of all moods,
done with sweet and bitter, calm and cool in Nibbana.
Blind & silly when finding joy
Don't be fooled into suffering about it,
Though happy it's poisoned with impermanence,
See the dukkha-ness in each kind of joy.
While everything is poisoned by impermanence,
We go mad, like falling in love with a ghoul,
They delude & confuse most disgustingly:
This dukkha-ness means "revolting."
Both "sukha" and "dukkha" are despicable,
The thickest prisons entrapping the heart,
Tricked by them like a fish by tasty bait,
Despite having eyes, still caught on the hook.
Seeing only the joy, not the dukkha within,
Like a fish crazy about lasting stability,
So used to its tricks they seem real
Until mind lets go seeing dukkha in sukha.
The straighter you try to be, the more deeply crooked
Turns out a hidden, secret enemy surprisingly nasty.
Wanting to be straight, to show off and succeed —
How straight is it really? Come on, be honest.
One brags "straight" according to what they praise
Too straight one sinks into the strict mess created
Wanting to be straight so that somebody will accept us
So that this little kid will grow up for once.
A mind clear enough to let it all go,
Not seeing a problem between straight and bent.
Beyond crooked & straight not deceived by "me" or "it"
So purely at peace, freed of the world, unburdened.
If we compare ourselves with chickens we'll see,
They don't have headaches, insomnia, or ulcers.
They're free of nervous tension and mental disorders.
Chickens don't go crazy like we do every day.
The world's people take drugs by the ton,
While the chickens don't take even a speck.
They sleep tight, minds at ease one-hundred per cent.
Don't you feel a little embarrassed by the chickens?
Human birth gives us the right to be neurotic:
Should we count this as a blessing or a curse?
Please find some Dhamma before it's too late,
To live happily, no longer shamed by the chickens.
* * *
Displaying poems 25 - 36 of 62 in total


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DSM-6 Announces "DJDS" As The Next Great Syndrome Affecting Youth
The go-to mental health textbook, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the "DSM"), has released their standard-setting sixth edition – and it contains some serious implications for the cultural phenomenon known to many as "EDM." Cited within the chapter dedicated to youth disorders is a new syndrome referred to as DJDS. Reports from a multitude of notable psychologists and psychiatrists worldwide have been compiled in an attempt to explain this new disorder that has gripped millions of young people across the globe.
"DJDS is no laughing matter," explained psychiatrist Randle Johannes, PhD. "What we've witnessed over the past five years is startling, and frankly, as a father of three girls, very concerning."
According to The Manual, DJDS often onsets in an innocuous way. A young person begins attending dance music shows and festivals to hear their favorite music in a live setting. But somewhere along the way, be it by locking eyes with a particularly handsome DJ, or just identifying strongly with their music, a deeper, more troubling condition begins to take hold.
First comes the tweets. These young people will "mention" a particular DJ in their message, often exclaiming something along the lines of, "Heyy you killed it tonight #greatset #banger." This seems harmless, but according to experts, DJDS may have already taken hold. The young person in question has already been carried away by fantasies about said DJ, and perhaps even begins work on a sign proclaiming their true feelings.
Within two to four weeks, the tweets will increase in frequency. By the time a young music fan declares that they "love" a particular DJ, the syndrome DJDS has already reached its critical phase. Tweeting or Facebooking pictures of themselves in compromising positions or wearing little clothing is now a strong possibility. The desperation for the DJD now leaks from every social media post they make like petroleum leaked from the Gulf Oil Spill. Their friends and followers cringe in empathetic embarrassment at every statement, but the patient will appear oblivious to the humiliation they are bringing upon themselves.
DJDS begins to manifest into a final, more damaging and destructive phase soon after. The patient will show up at a particular DJ's shows and make numerous attempts to obtain backstage access, increasing in the amount of skin they display to bouncers in order to fulfill their corrupted dreams. God forbid the infected individual makes it all the way to the DJ of their dreams, the heartthrob will now be inundated with exaggerated platitudes and the inevitable picture request. With the patient seemingly unaware that said DJ takes thousands of these pictures a year, this opportunity will only serve to perpetuate both the unrequited feelings of love and the incessant social media posts. DJDS becomes a full-fledged social problem at this point, and it will take between six months to five years for the average DJDS sufferer to come to the startling realization that the man of their dreams does not in fact feel the same way about them.
The recovery period, if there is one, will be filled with sensations of loss and self-doubt. However, the problem is likely far from over – according to recent studies, the individual still has an 80 percent chance of relapsing with a new DJ in their crosshairs. The vicious cycle will continue until the patient matures to the point where they adopt a mindset grounded in reality, and discovers the ever-elusive personality trait of self-respect.
So if you recognize a friend or loved one has become afflicted, experts urge you to avoid encouraging the behavior – refrain from "likes," "retweets," and statements affirming the individual's choice to sacrifice all dignity in pursuit of the mystical DJD. If we can collectively raise awareness about this syndrome, perhaps we can all look forward to a brighter future devoid of obnoxious, self-deprecating attempts to catch the attention of these DJs, and the DJs themselves can move on to providing the world with music without the fear that somewhere out there lurks a delusional fan, ready to do absolutely anything to distract them from sharing their music with the sane individuals of the world.
If you'd like to help this cause and spread awareness, stay tuned for the next Electric Family charity bracelet to raise money for DJDS sufferers, which has been cosigned by Diplo, entitled "Twerking Has Gone Too Far."
The above content has been fabricated for satirical purposes and should in no way be construed as an actual record of events. Other than public figures, all names used are fictional and any resemblance to actual persons is unintentional and coincidental.


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Tamil Nadu Chief Minister M Karunanidhi, Rajinikanth and Kamal Haasan watched the period film 'Ponnar Shankar' which hit the screens last Friday, at Prasad Lab in Vadapalani, Chennai on April 12th.
The film which has Prashanth in double lead was produced and directed by his father Thiyagarajan.The movie is an adaptation of the 1978 novel scripted by Kalaignar Karunanidhi. The CM had in fact penned the story, screenplay and dialogues for Ponnar Shankar.
Bhagyaraj, Prabhu,Sathyaraj and many others watched the show.
[nggallery id=745]


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FEBS Letters toggle menu
FEBS Letters to launch Communication articles.
FEBS Letters has launched a new article type to foster scientific exchange on recently published papers. Communication articles are short, peer-reviewed articles that expand, contradict or comment on previously published papers.
Communication articles should contain new experimental data that provide a novel perspective to previously published results, possibly indicating caveats and discrepancies, or offering alternative interpretations. Prior discussion with the authors of the primary publication would be desirable.
The first Communication article appeared online on May 14 (Schuhmacher MK et al. Investigation of H2AX methylation by the SUV39H2 protein lysine methyltransferase).
For submissions of Communication articles either use the FEBS Letters manuscript submission site or contact the editorial office at email@example.com.
Current Issue
Volume 591 Issue 21
- Issue Publication:
- November 2017
Journal Features
- The 2016 FEBS Letters Crossword Challenge now solved!
Please click on the link above to access The FEBS Letters Crossword with clues based on the 2016 Editors' Choices, and scroll down for the solutions.
- We congratulate FEBS Letters author Prof. Yoshinori Ohsumi on winning the 2016 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine
- Read the celebratory FEBS Letters Virtual Issue "Autophagy: The 2016 Nobel Prize" collecting elegant studies on autophagy performed by Yoshinori Ohsumi and his coworkers


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I have opinions about things, sometimes I am wrong. I also find what other people think about things interesting, especially when i agree with them, but also when I don't. I tend towards run on sentences, I justify that by claiming I am just like Jack Kerouac. (I am not really). If you are interested in what I think or are looking for something to argue with me about. This is a good place to find those things. Also Blogging is now lame...
Friday, April 02, 2004
I was looking at Yesterland ,a website about Disneyland (I have never been myself my family was more into zoos and museums and free things) and it seems that Disney has lost its way in the 50s and 60s there were all sort of cool attractions about space, pirates, cowboys and all sort of other stuff. Now it seems it is all about here are some rides that relate to movies and lame videos we made and the merchandise you should buy to go along with it.
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Re: Leroy Heyer Fiske, b. abt 1888, Waldoboro, ME
In reply to:
Leroy Heyer Fiske, b. abt 1888, Waldoboro, ME
Leroy was born on 26 July 1887, according to his WWI draft card. From the census it appears that his parents were John S. Fisk, a sea Capt. and Lizzie Heyer.
Again, according to the census, John's parents appear to be Benjamin Fisk and a Mary unknown. There is a woman named Lydia Warren living with Benjamin and Mary but it can't be determined for certain if she is Mary's mother or not.
Here's where it gets interesting. There is only one Benjamin Fisk in the 1850 census in the town that John's father should be listed in... but it's a different Benjamin Fisk. Different wife, different kids, different birth year. Same name and location...
That's all I have sorry,
Bob Birt


text:
95 Spindle Point Road. April 4, Just reduced to $1,790,000. A Remarkable Value for A Stunning Meredith Home.
Copyright 2017 Northern New England Real Estate Network, Inc. All rights reserved. This information is deemed reliable but not guaranteed. The data relating to real estate for sale on this web site comes in part from the IDX Program of NEREN. Subject to errors, omissions, prior sale, change or withdrawal without notice. This web site is updated daily.
Neighborhood Information Powered by Onboard Informatics. Copyright © 2017 Onboard Informatics. School Performance Data by SchoolDigger.com, and School Review data provided by Niche.com. Information is deemed reliable but not guaranteed.


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SupportPlug-ins are not supported by Geosoft Technical Support. For help or technical assistance, join the Geonet User Forum. User Forums >
Related Resources
See additional resources related to this release:
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The Geosoft plug-in for ER Viewer enables users to view and use Geosoft grid (.grd) and map (.map) files in the ER Viewer application.


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Georgia O'Keeffe.
Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author.While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server.
If I could paint the flower exactly as I see it no one would see what I see because I would paint it small like the flower is small. So I said to myself - I'll paint what I see - what the flower is to me but I'll paint it big and they will be surprised into taking time to look at it - I will make even busy New Yorkers take time to see what I see of flowers.
Choosing your subject is very important. Look for the following qualities…
1. Good composition when cropped down through your viewfinder. Good composition includes a focal point.
2. Avoid overly detailed sections.
3. Transfer your image to the 12x18 paper. Use the grid method to help with accuracy.


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byrnema comments on Max Tegmark on our place in history: "We're Not Insignificant After All" - Less Wrong
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What strikes me about our current situation is not only are we at an extremely influential point in the history of the universe, but how few people realize this.
I am amazed at how few people are aware of the consequences of the next few decades. Yet, when I think about other influential points in history, I find that people were either just as ignorant, or actively resisting such change (Saboteurs & Luddites in the Textile industries in Holland and England for instance. Or, those who opposed industrialization in the USA at the end of the 19th century).
The last really major change, such as the one we are now in, was the end of the Industrial Revolution in the early 1900s. It was so very obvious that rural life was becoming a thing of the past, yet people fled into nostalgia and disbelief; talking about the benefits of the pastoral lifestyle (while ignoring the fact that it was backbreaking work that required dawn to dusk toil for little gain).
Those very few who were aware that it was indeed a time that would end the world as people knew it were able to improve their lot immensely. A new generation of wealth was created.
This same thing is happening now. And, you are correct:
It ought to give the few people in the know enormous power
Hopefully, this period will also result in the ability of the vast hoards of people living in or below the poverty line to rise above this. Ultimately, we could move into a post-scarcity economy, where all basic needs are fully (and comfortably) met, and thus free people to pursue more fulfilling work and leisure.
Of course, the book is still out on that one.
And I also puzzle over why I appear to be in such an atypical position.
That is something that I wonder as well. I've spent an inordinate amount of time at my school trying to educate people about the possibilities of the next 2 to 5 decades, yet it has mostly fallen on deaf ears (I would like to say even among the Computer Science/Engineering Professors and students, but it is more like especially among the Comp Sci/Engn Profs & Students). There have been a few who knew about the historical changes that are happening now, but I didn't need to educate them. They already knew. They are also the people whom I noticed that, like myself, were aiming at Berkeley, Stanford, CMU, MIT, etc.
So, maybe it is that those of us in the know should consider ourselves fortunate and make plans to help elevate others in the future who missed the boat (so to speak). I know that if I succeed at my goals, I plan to help out others whom I know have had hard times due to failure to plan well (or who made mistakes, such as I, earlier in their life and need a second chance)
I should point out that I am the stupid one among them, which is why I have to limit myself to UC (Berkeley or UCSD - as they have a HUGE Cog Sci and AI program at UCSD that rivals Berkeley's). If I was not disabled (and old enough to be most of the group's father) I would probably be heading to MIT or CMU as well... Although, Berkeley is not shabby. My GPA suffered horribly when I first went back to school due to not taking my disability fully into account and not knowing my rights as a disabled person yet. I have finally managed to have a couple of semesters at 3+ GPA, but my overall GPA is still slightly below 3. I've been told that I will stand a good chance to get into Berkeley if I maintain the 3.2 to 3.7 semesters I've been getting since the end of 2008 (I only do 3/4 time, as I discovered in that first semester that I can't manage full time very well).
Thank you for the compliment though. I hope that I continue to be worthy of it.
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My Boo Trailer (2013)
"some high school crushes never die" 17 September 2013 Horror 78 mins
After time away from high school, Fred moves across the hall from his high school crush. Unfortunately for him, little has changed since high school, and Fred's basic lust turns to obsession. But voyeurism alone will not be enough to quench his desire, and he is driven to extreme measures. He sets up hidden video cameras and audiotapes in Lisa's apartment, allowing him access to her most intimate
Watch the official My Boo 2013 trailer in HD below or find more My Boo videos on Vidimovie.


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Write some Software
Budjetti £20-250 GBP
Develop a simple Embedded C application on Nucleo F401RE Board using RIOT, DOCKER and Coap protocol.
The Application should run a mini server on the board and talk to a client like Copper in Firefox. The application should be able to read sensors (ldr, motion sensor, temperature sensor).
For more details, please contact.
9 freelanceria on tarjonnut keskimäärin 233 £ tähän työhön
Hi, I hope you are doing well. I have expertise in STM32 based embedded projects. I would like to discuss the project in more details. Looking Forward, Khawaja
Interested to do the job **********************************************************************************
Hi sir/ madam we reviewed your job description and have capability to do confidently your project as your [url removed, login to view] are got more than 5 years of experienced in web.\app dveloping wih major project. short Projec Lisää
Hello, We will support you for development if you need. Only 10$ per hour. We also guarantee long free support in the future. Please contact us. Thanks and Best Regards, Vinh
The project will be carried out by a small team of 3 members with experience in the embedded systems development industry. Firmware design will be done using good programming practices, model-oriented development, and Lisää


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The end of the school day on El Rancho Santa Fe is a flurry of activity. Younger students down at the school don their backpacks to make the walk back, while older kids finish cleaning their chosen vocational workshops, and share a joke or two with their teachers before heading back to their hogars. From the herd of returning students, a small group of kids walking the other direction branches out. This is NPH's "externos," or external students, who attend the school but live in one of the nearby towns. Rosalina* is one such of these students, and is both animated and excited whenever someone asks her about school at NPH
As a 13-year-old seventh grader from a nearby town, Rosalina travels to the school every day with her father, who is doing construction and renovations at the Ranch. Although she has only been at the Ranch's school for one year, she can already see the difference. "I love the school here. It is better than the one I used to attend. There are better teachers, more materials, and better classes here," she explains. "Sure, the teachers can be strict, and much more so than my old school," she says with a giggle, "but I think that is part of why I am learning so much."
The quality seventh-grade education she is receiving is riding on several changes this past year on how secondary classes are taught. Previously, the 7th through 9th graders attended classes that were separate from the primary school, and it was a short walk through an open field to where the vocational workshops are located. Now, in accordance with higher governmental educational standards, the school has opted to switch to a "Centro Basico" educational system. To fit the new standards, the 7th through 9th graders have been moved back down to the main primary school campus, and their days have seen a positive shift in classes, teachers, materials, curriculum, and scheduling.
"This year, I have thirteen classes. A few people teach the three big ones - social science, Spanish, and civics class - and then we have lots of teachers for the other ten," she explains. Because several more teachers are brought in for teaching specific classes, budgets had to be adjusted when overhauling the schools' education system. The changes seem to be paying off. Grades, including Rosalina's, were high in the first testing cycle since the changes were made, and the school staff eagerly awaits the next round of exams to see what measurable gains the students are now making. Apart from the obvious advantage of being able to find teachers or international volunteers with specializations in each area to teach the remaining ten classes, Rosalina likes the new system for simpler reasons. "I don't know how to explain it, but I think I just concentrate better when there are different teachers each time!"
Apart from normal class, Rosalina also participates in the school's tutoring program, which helps her stay on pace in certain subjects with her other classmates. Many of them have been at NPH's school their entire life. "I like my tutoring sessions! I get lessons in math, which can be really difficult for me. The two tutors are very smart and are fun to learn from!" This is we hope to see as a result in making changes in school systems. Students can receive a higher quality and more comprehensive education while having the support to stay on pace with the rest of their class when needed.
While more time is needed to see just how impactful this new system will be, its short term results are clear. "At the very least I'm a lot more confident with myself at this school. One day soon I'm going to be a nurse!"
*Name changed to protect privacy.
Alex Hanel Communication Officer
You may be only one person in the world, but you may be all the world to one child.
—Fr. William Wasson
You may be only one person in the world, but you may be all the world to one child.
—Fr. William Wasson
*Children names are changed to protect their privacy. | © 2017 NPH


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At Gemvara, we believe that the jewelry you wear should be as unique as you. Every beautiful Gemvara round heart jewelry design will be made just for you. It's jewelry for all life's occasions, from an engagement or birthday to your own personal milestones and celebrations. Gemvara uses only the highest quality materials to craft your round heart jewelry with meticulous attention to detail. Our precious metals are recycled or responsibly mined. The round brilliant cut is the most popular gemstone shape, with a classic look and timeless elegance. Our wide selection of round heart jewelry by Gemvara Essentials, Jeet Palavwala, Martha Gomez Gutierrez, and other talented designers means you can find rings, earrings, and necklaces that are exactly your style. You can also shop by style, choosing our Celtic, Mothers, or Customer Favorite Collections. Gemvara's sweetly expressive collection of timeless heart jewelry is perfect for hopeless romantics. When our work is done and you open that box, you'll see your design is even more beautiful when brought to life in the finest precious materials.
We can help right away. Chat with a jewelry expert now!


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Thank you for your interest in donating. Your help, no matter what form or capacity, will go far in changing the lives of young people in Zimbabwe.
Your tax-deductible online donation will help break the cycle of poverty in Zimbabwe by giving children access to education and by empowering young adults to start their own businesses.
For more information on donating or sponsorship contact us at firstname.lastname@example.com
Current Projects
Send A Child To School Program (keep children in school by providing school fees and uniforms)
T.E.A.C.H. Program (empower young adults to become entrepreneurs through training and mentoring)
98% of all contributions go directly to the two current projects we are launching.
Heart4kids is an all-volunteer organization.


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Bachelor of Software Engineering (Hons)
About The Programme
The Bachelor of Software Engineering (Hons), BSE aims to prepare highly skilled graduates with the necessary knowledge, principles, and skills in developing new and innovative solutions for many industries.
Graduates will be empowered with the knowledge and understanding of user requirements in analysing, modelling, designing, and developing large-scale software systems that are reliable and robust. Such Software Engineering (SE) specialists will be able to respond to the ever growing impact of large-scale software systems in a wide range of situations, as well as to the increased importance in safety-critical and mission-critical applications. Furthermore, their training will enable them to select the most appropriate and reliable techniques for producing quality software systems on time and within budget.
Internship, which has a duration between 3 and 6 months and capstone project are incorporated into the programme. Students will be equipped to meet these challenges with the technical content gained as well as the practical aspect of architecture design, software development, software processes, software project management, software testing and software maintenance issues.
This programme includes the Certified Tester Foundation Level (CTFL) professional certification which incorporates software testing components within the curriculum of this degree programme. The CTFL is a globally accredited software testing professional certification fully accredited by the Malaysian Software Testing Board (MSTB), the national body representing the industry interests in promoting Software Quality Assurance (SQA) and software testing as core competencies in the development of software-dependent quality products and services. This industry-linked certificate will be an added advantage for the students, making them highly employable graduates.
This degree is validated by Lancaster University and upon the successful completion of the programme, graduates are awarded two certificates; one from Sunway University and another from Lancaster University.
January, March & August
3 Years (full-time)
Career Prospects
- Software Engineer
- Software Tester
- Software Architect
- Game Developer
- Mobile App Developer
- System Designer
- IT Analyst
- Research Analyst
- Software Quality Assurance Officer
- Enterprise Distributed Application Developer


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A fiduciary is a person or company that is entrusted to manage your finances, including liquid cash in bank accounts, investment portfolios, estate assets and retirement funds.
Many individuals select a friend or family member to act as their fiduciary. While this may work for some individuals, there are many benefits to choosing a professional fiduciary over a friend or family member. By choosing a professional, independent fiduciary, your finances will be in good hands for generations to come.
1. Professional fiduciaries are heavily regulated and held to certain fiduciary standards in order to ensure that your finances are as secure and protected as possible. A professional fiduciary is required to adhere to policies that prevent your funds from being misappropriated or poorly managed. When you trust your finances to a professional fiduciary, your funds will not be mixed with the fiduciary's capital or the funds of other clients. Further, professional fiduciaries must maintain an insurance policy to prevent losses resulting from negligence. None of these policies and standards are required of friends or family members that act as fiduciaries.
2. Professional fiduciaries are focused on a single goal: correctly handling your finances in accordance with sensible policies and standards. Your friends and family members, on the other hand, probably have many other priorities and concerns in their lives. A professional fiduciary will never use your funds for their own purposes, nor will they loan themselves money against your finances.
3. Professional fiduciaries will represent your interests and serve their fiduciary duties regardless of any and all personal circumstances. Too often, individuals trust their finances to a family member or friend only to experience an unfortunate falling out in the future. By mixing your finances with your personal life, you run the risk of creating complications when you have a disagreement with your friend or family member that is entrusted with your funds.
4. Professional fiduciaries have both the knowledge and the means to work cooperatively with your accountant, attorney, and all other professionals you rely on for assistance with legal and financial matters. A professional fiduciary has trusted advisors that they routinely work with, but are willing to work with your trusted professionals if you'd prefer.
5. Professional fiduciaries have a full understanding of both federal and state laws governing their work and services as fiduciaries. While friends and family members can conceivably learn about these stipulations, they typically don't have the knowledge and experience required to make appropriate, timely decisions based on laws and regulations.
6. Professional fiduciaries will never make a decision regarding your finances from a place of self interest or greed. Although we like to think that the same is true of our family members and friends, the lack of regulations regarding non-professional fiduciaries can result in serious financial and personal problems.
7. Professional fiduciaries understand that you may eventually wish to entrust your finances to a different fiduciary, and they will not jeopardize your funds if you choose to do so. A friend or family member may take such a choice personally, resulting in hurt feelings at best and misappropriated funds at worst. Overall, the benefits of choosing a professional fiduciary over a friend or family member are the same as the benefits of choosing a professional attorney to represent you in court over a friend or family member.


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Hi everyone! I have a fun post for all you bloggers today. If you write a blog, especially with the hopes of turning it into a business, you know how important a good social media presence can be. Social media acts as an extension to your blog, and serves as a place to share and interact with your followers.
Since your social media profiles are a continuation of your blog, you should make sure you are putting as much effort into branding yourself and creating quality content for those channels as you are for your blog. Your social media profiles may be the first thing a potential new follower sees, and you want that profile to give off the best first impression of your blog and what you have to offer.
Instagram has become one of the most popular and influential social profile for bloggers, and has quickly become my personal favorite. With over 300 million monthly active users (source), Instagram is a vitally important social network to have an active presence on for content creators. And with its simple chronological feed, Instagram is one of the best ways to connect and interact with your followers.
However, if you are using the platform to promote your blog or business, you cannot just throw up a couple pictures of your cat and call it a day. To really harness the potential of Instagram, you have to post consistent, quality content. Today's post walks you through what I have found to be the 5 most important qualities of a great Instagram picture, and how to successfully implement those qualities in your pictures.
1. Lighting
The number one most important thing to consider when taking your Instagram (or any) picture is your light source. This is what I focus most of my time on when setting up for an Instagram picture. Your light source will determine how clear and crisp your image is, how vibrant your colors are, and how attractive your picture comes across. Well lit photos stand out, and immediately give your brand and profile a professional look.
The number one recommended light source for taking photos is always going to be natural light. You will want to find a place that gets nice light, but be sure to stay out of direct sunlight, which can cast harsh shadows or reflect off a shinier object in your picture, causing a glare. To get the best light, test out different areas in your home, at different times of day. I like to set up in front of my sliding glass door in my living room, and I usually get the best lighting around 4pm.
If you absolutely cannot get natural light, I've found that white light bulbs are a good alternative if needed. Try to avoid at all costs using yellow light bulbs, just trust me on that one. I always make sure any yellow lights are turned off before taking my pictures. White light bulbs, however, make a great substitute for natural light for the late night Instagram snap.
2. Composition
After making sure your subject it well list, it is important that your image is well composed. The refers to how objects are placed in your frame, and what is included in your picture. This will largely depend on the subject of your picture, and is heavily based on your brands style. However, there are a few general rules of thumb I like to go by.
First, make sure your picture isn't too cluttered. Having too much 'junk' in your shot is unattractive, and detracts from your main subject. Have a clear focus, and make it easy for your follower to see your subject. Don't be afraid to move things out of your frame if they are cluttering up your image.
However, that being said you don't want your picture to be too plain. Make sure to add in some interest to complement your subject. For example, if you're taking a picture of your planner, don't just take a straight on picture of your planner by itself. That's not very interesting. Try adding some washi tape, or pens, or a vase of flowers around to style and highlight your planner.
Also make sure you are considering your background when taking your picture. A good background will fall back, so the attention can be focused on your subject. For this reason, I almost exclusively use a white background with my pictures. To get my white background, I either use my white desktop, or a simple piece of foam-core poster board.
3. Editing
After taking your picture, don't be afraid to do a little editing. I was super reluctant to start editing my pictures in the beginning, as I was afraid that would make me fake, and like I was lying to my followers. However, over time I've learned that it is completely ok to edit your photos, and just plain necessary sometimes. Just be careful not to over-edit your pictures, since that can look just as bad as not editing them at all.
Since most of my Instagrams are taken directly on my iPhone 6, I also do all my editing for my Instgrams right on my phone. My favorite app for this is Pic Tap Go. I don't do anything crazy when editing my pictures, so this filter-based photo editing app is simple enough to do exactly what I need it to. My top filters I almost always use are Lights On, Crispity and Auto Color. My goal when editing pictures is to get them as close to true to life as possible, with a little extra 'oomph' to it.
4. Style
Stickers, washi and pens… oh my!! I'm over on the @pretty_well_organized blog again today, talking about planning on the go and what you need in your portable planning kit! You can follow the link in Wendy's profile or go to http://bit.ly/1zDsS0b #planners #planneraddicts #plannernerd #washitape #plannerstickers
Style is another super important component of your Instagram pictures, perhaps more so than lighting. Styling your photos creates a consistent branded image across your blog and social platforms, making your content uniquely and recognizably 'you'. If you don't get anything else out of this post, I want you to remember this. You know your brand and your style better than anyone else. Only you truly know how to style your pictures to reflect your brand.
If anything I've said here doesn't work for you or your brand, ignore it. Only you know what works for your brand, and what your followers will like. And if that means dark, cluttered, un-edited pictures, go for it. I'm simply sharing my experience and what has worked for me personally in this post, so if you don't agree with any of these tips, don't just do them because I (or anyone else) said you should.
That being said, it can be hard to nail down your brand's exact style. I have only really just started to discover mine after almost three years of blogging. After a lot of trial and error, I can now confidently say my brand is reflected in light and bright pictures, with lots of white space and pops of color, with feminine (but not too cutesy) details. Now just because I know what my ideal branded image looks like, does not mean I am perfect at achieving that image with every Instagram. But it is a lot easier to style my picture and judge if it is a good reflection of my brand when I have a clear guideline for my ideal brand style.
Start paying attention to what you like in your pictures, what you like in others' pictures, and what types of images you gravitate towards. Look for repeating elements in your favorite Instagram pictures, and the pictures you feel most represent your brand. Overtime your brand's style will slowly form itself. Don't try to rush yourself, and don't try to simply copy someone else's style or go with what is trending, because that won't be your authentic self, and your brand will suffer.
5. Hashtags
Have you guys been keeping up with release week on the @studio_l2e blog? The CT girls have been knocking it out of the park!! And this release is extra close to my heart because it is in collaboration with the @merritelizabethshop, so you'll also be able to see how my stickers work with the awesome @studio_l2e stamps 😄 Here's a peek at what I used some of the new sets for ✈ you'll be able to see the full post this Monday!! #studiol2e #plannerstamps #makingplanningfun #wanderlust #planner #planneraddicts #stampingaddicts #versamagic #l2esneaks
Finally, what good is a gorgeous Instagram picture if no one sees it? All the effort you took to take the perfect picture won't do you any good if it doesn't get in front of the eyes of potential new followers. Hashtags are the perfect way to make sure your ideal audience sees your picture. Tagging your picture with on topic tags will add it to that tag's feed, where it will be seen by viewers interested in that topic, who will potentially become new followers.
However, I cannot stress this enough, make sure you use releveant hashtags! This is definitely a pet peeve of mine, but nothing is worse than scrolling through a hashtag feed and seeing a picture that truly has absolutely nothing to do with that hashtag's topic. I'm talking motorcycle pictures under #puppies. I don't care how popular a hashtag is, if your picture is not related to that topic, just don't do it. Hashtag spamming will do you no favors in gaining followers, and will only irritate the people who do come across your picture through that hashtag.
When done correctly, hashtags can be an amazing marketing tool, and will even work to build relationships and community around a shared interest topic. The best hashtags are niche specific, so be sure to do research into your niche and find the best hashtags for connecting you with your ideal audience.
So to sum things up, when taking your next Instagram picture, make sure you remember to consider your lighting, composition, editing, style and hashtags. Consistently paying attention to these five key attributes will result in a beautiful and powerful branded Instagram profile. I hope these tips help you to create your best Instagram profile, feel free to tag me on Instagram if you use any of them so I can see!
What are your favorite tips for taking the best Instagram picture? Share them in the comments below so we can all use then to improve our pictures!


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Niki Lauda's character (played by Daniel Brühl) wears Carrera 80 Aviator Sunglasses in the film "Rush". They come with both regular and polarized lenses, and sport the distinctive Carrera Victory C logo on the double bridge.more
With an Equipboard account you can rate this item, add it to your collection, submit a review to discuss what you like and dislike about it, and associate Carrera 80 Aviator Sunglasses to artists that use it. Create an account!


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MOVIE SYNOPSIS [ General Audiences ] In the special vision of its director Drew Hall, Paul Brittain leads the cast of this movie of USA, with dialogues in English (available with subtitles), whose official premiere was scheduled for 2015. You can watch Nigel & Oscar vs. The Sasquatch online on TV cable or theaters with original audio in English at different dates. This film premiered in theaters in 2015.
Rating: 5 by 10 users./
Runtime: 100 minutes
Paul Brittain, Adam Herschman, Christine Bently, Neil Flynn, Tim Meadows, Dean J. West, Sherri Eakin, John McConnell, Chip Carriere, Tony Sanford, Boogie Dabney, Brody Rose, L.J. Ruth, Tony Bentley, Robert Larriviere and Kara Leigh Leonard.
100-minute film (full movie) directed by Drew Hall.
The original audio of Nigel & Oscar vs. The Sasquatch has dialogues in Dolby Digital, it was produced in USA.
It premiered in cinemas or television in 2015.
Screenplay written by James Weldon.
Jamie Urman.
Tony Niknejadi, Ned Adams, Justin Cherry, Denny Wilkins and Scott Robinson.
This film was produced and / or financed by Drama Free Zone and Frame 29 Films.
Without commercial breaks, the full movie Nigel & Oscar vs. The Sasquatch has a duration of 100 minutes; the official trailer can be watched in streaming on the Internet. You can watch this full movie free in EnglishDolby Digital in movie TV channels, renting the DVD or with VoD services (Video On Demand player, Hulu) and PPV (Pay Per View, Netflix).
See the page of this full movie, Nigel & Oscar vs. The Sasquatch in FULLTV Movies.


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GraphicRiver Auto Service Infographics 10906213
Category: Stock Vector | Comment: ( 0 )
GraphicRiver Auto Service Infographics 10906213
Stock Vector \ Conceptual \ Business
Replacement \ Service \ Repair \ Piston \ Parts \ Pipe \ Shift \ Shock \ Vehicle
Stock Vector - Auto Service Infographics 10906213 by macrovector @ GraphicRiver
Stock Vector \ Conceptual \ Business
Layered: No; Graphics Files Included: JPG Image, Vector EPS; Minimum Adobe CS Version: CS.
Auto service infographics set with car repair technical diagnostics symbols and charts vector illustration. Editable EPS and Render in JPG format
Keywords: air, auto, automobile, automotive, block, car, chain, cooling, diagnostics, engine, filter, industry, inspection, maintenance, motor, oil, parts, pipe, piston, repair, replacement, service, shift, shock, spark, station, technical, technology, vehicle, wheel.


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Immigrant Justice
Immigrant Justice
A belief in "the inherent worth and dignity of every person" is core to Unitarian Universalism: every person, no exceptions. As religious people, our Principles call us to acknowledge the immigrant experience and to affirm and promote the flourishing of the human family.
These words were part of the Unitarian Universalist Association's Statement of Conscience in 2013 and we in the Immigrant Justice group at UUSS work to put them into action in our community.
We are a new group and have room for many ideas, new input, and new connections.
Watch "Love Detained: An American Immigration Story"
Contact Us
More Info
Faithful Friends – Amigos Fieles
A Community Visitation Program for
U.S. Immigration Detainees at the
Sacramento County ICE Unit


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Power French Verbs I is a cutting-edge, fast and easy to learn five one-hour lesson program that teaches authentic French verbs in native context. A variety of teaching approaches are employed to encourage the learner to speak. A trained English speaking American instructor guides the listener through the program in English while a trained and educated native French speaker teaches beginning to high-intermediate French verbs the way they are really spoken in France today. Emphasis is given to original sentence creation, effective communication for the most common language situations, and integration of high-frequency vocabulary along with the verbs being taught.
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Got Me Speaking French Verbs in Context - Great Ed
Many thanks to Language Audiobooks and the Language Guy Mark Frobose and his native French speaking assistant Chloé for this wonderful French verb program that got me over the hump and into speaking French verbs in context.
Brilliant and remarkably easy approach. Mark explains, Chloé (wonderful native accent from
Picardie France) teaches you real French. (I actually discovered that Chloé is a degreed teacher of French to English speakers). A rare find. Bravo.
Anyway ...
Plenty of time is given to respond to cues and an extremely consistent, clear method that still allows for spontaneous creative sentence creation.
I don't know how they did it, but this team delivers great French verb instruction fast and easy.
- Harry
"Help over the hump'
There are explanations in English and opportunities to hear, repeat and hear again pronunciations by a native speaker. Also, good review of commonly used verbs in sentences which help you remember and get "over the hump" in learning to speak French.
He reminds listener of his/her progress and encourages you to continue listening.


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Our slogan "Engineering at its best" promises not only innovative and user-optimised products, but also a professional service throughout the lifetime of the plant and beyond.
world-wide service and spare part network enables us to offer you
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we're the people to talk to!
STADLER ® has been awarded several times Innovation Prizes for their smart solutions of separating
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I seriously need access to my e-mail.
I hope Catherine doesn't freak out when she gets home from work tonight. I did warn her I was going to start pulling up the carpets, but since I've been promising to re-do the floors for four years now, she probably didn't believe me. Either she didn't believe me, and she's going to have a heart attack when she sees the dining room tonight, or she's been worrying about it all day, and will end up being pleasantly surprised in the end. It could go either way. Since I can't e-mail her, I guess I'd better call her before I leave for practice to warn her.
Some parts of the job were tougher than I thought they would be, some parts were easier. I'm not sure if the hard parts were hard just because pulling up carpets is intrinsically difficult, or because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Probably a little of both. This was one of those days I wished my parents lived just down the street. I really needed a hive tool, but I don't even know where you could buy one in Bloomington. Overall, the floor is in pretty good condition. It just needs refinished, and I'm so tired and dirty right now, I think I may hire someone to do that job instead of doing it myself. Plus, I've been feeling pretty butch all day, and lately I've been wondering if that's necessarily a good thing, so maybe I should hire someone else.
My best advice to aspiring home-improvers: always wear your safety goggles. If I hadn't been wearing my glasses today, I would be minus one eye right now. As it is, I have something of a shiner. Next time I'll definitely bring the safety glasses in from the garage, too.
I really hate it when my e-mail is down. Don't these people realize I actually use my e-mail for things other than just screwing off?
Friday, October 11, 2002
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|Killing black dragons
|127,600 per hour
|Skill requirements
|Item requirements
Protection against dragonfire (Anti-dragon shield recommended)
|Quest requirements
Recipe for Disaster/Freeing Sir Amik Varze highly recommended
1 x Raw chicken (57)
|Other requirements
55 for Broad bolts recommended (optional)
20 x Black dragonhide (63,640)
|Experience gained
Evil Chicken's Lair recommended
Killing black dragons gives decent Combat experience as well as steady money in the form of their 100% drops, dragon bones and black dragonhide. It is recommended to use a high-level Ranged weapon to kill these creatures as they are weak to bolts.
One of the best places to kill black dragons is the Evil Chicken's Lair, accessed from Zanaris. This spot is rarely crowded. Players need to use a raw chicken on the shrine in front of it to enter (kill one of the chickens running around the area). It is easy to bank from there by walking to Zanaris bank.On the other hand, players, especially low levels, can feel free to kill them in Taverley Dungeon, but this is a popular spot. In that case, bring an Antipoison, some food, and Falador teleports. Also, a dusty key is needed, like blue dragons, unless you have level 70 Agility.
It is strongly recommended to check the live prices on the Grand Exchange before making large investments in any method.
All prices on this page are cached, meaning it is possible that they appear out of date.
To force a new cache of this page, click this link.
If a money making method is out of date, you can edit it or leave a message on the talk page.