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Carolyn Hax
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, November 13, 2009 12:00 PM
Carolyn was online Friday, November 13, taking your questions and comments about her current advice column and any other questions you might have about the strange train we call life. Her answers may appear online or in an upcoming column.
Past Carolyn Hax Live Discussions
Arlington, Va.: My girlfriend has told me that she's finally done "sowing her oats." She cheated on me two months into our relationship (she says we weren't exclusive at that point - I argued that we'd slept with each other and were). I just found out that after two years of dating, she slept with two other guys as well. She cried and told me how sorry she was, but I don't know if I can ever trust her. She says she has an extremely high sex drive, but I don't buy that excuse. How can I rebuild trust between us.
Carolyn Hax: To rebuild trust, the foundation has to be smooth, meaning the bad behavior that destroyed the trust is completely gone.
I don't see how you can regard the bad behavior as completely behind her. She's not "done" if she's still rationalizing (i.e, defending) the behavior, and "I have an extremely high sex drive" is about as juicy as rationalizations get.
For what it's worth, I don't necessarily agree with you that your having slept with her at the two-month point meant you were exclusive (if that's in fact what you were arguing); that's not safe to assume, since different people have different ideas about when a commitment starts.
But her still sleeping with people two years in means crying and saying she's sorry isn't enough to make a credible case for her wanting to change. She needs to own the behavior and the dark part of her that drove her to it, and deplore that side of herself, and articulate the way she wants to be. I don't see any sign of that here. Looks to me like she wants to get safely back in the relationship without doing any of the hard work on herself.
Carolyn Hax: And, hello.
Los Angeles: Carolyn, My husband's assistant, who is also a friend of both of ours, has been confiding to him about her marital, financial and other personal problems. I told him I was uncomfortable with this. Then on the weekend, while her husband was at work and he and I were at home relaxing, she asked him to meet up with her to "continue the discussion." I felt excluded and disrespected, so he canceled the meeting. He later told her how I felt. Instead of apologizing, she now ignores me completely. He wants to remain friends with her and her husband and thinks I should figure out a way to make things right. But I think she still owes me an apology. What course of action, if any, would you recommend?
Carolyn Hax: Does your husband think you did something wrong, or does he think you were right to be miffed but wants you to smooth it over anyway because he's conflict-averse, or does he think both of you are overreacting and he's asking you to be the one to reach out because you're the one he's married to, or ... ?
In other words, his rationale here is everything. Just from what you wrote here, he could be anything from a little misguided to way out of line, and it would help to know which before I go off on a rant. Thanks.
Washington, D.C.: Dear Carolyn, I am a 35 year-old single woman with lots of loving friends, 99 percent of whom are married. I have had a few long term relationships, one of which I might have wasted too much time on, and I am struggling now to meet someone special. Part of it is that I find online dating tedious and false, which rules out a giant avenue for meeting men, I realize. But I prefer connecting the old-fashioned way (I'm not on Facebook, either), and my experience has taught me you can't identify a potential match based on a two-dimensional photo and a self description that tells little about how two people might relate.
Another part may be that I am independent and rather self-contained, okay doing things on my own and in some ways enjoying the freedom that brings. It could be that I appear aloof when I'm by myself in public, but often when I become aware of men noticing me, they seem to be the guys who are interested in the way I look, not in ME.
My well-meaning friends offer little in the way of advice beyond suggesting every single guy in the vicinity or suggesting I wear tighter pants. But I'm tired of playing the hoochie mama and I don't want to go on a thousand first dates, I just want to meet someone who I can relate to, who GETS me. And the only man who has ever really gotten me is married (a whole other story).
I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice here or someone to just commiserate. Part of me really rebels against the societal stereotype of single women and the subtle validation a woman gets by "having a man".
Carolyn Hax: The parts of you need to have a long talk to figure out what you want, why, where your anger fits into it, and how you can dismantle that anger and heave it into a Dumpster.
Yes, you're right that online dating sets up a false dynamic, and that photos and profiles are no way to grasp the entirety and subtleties of someone, and that Facebook is shallow. But when you get into, "when I become aware of men noticing me, they seem to be the guys who are interested in the way I look, not in ME," then you betray yourself as having your defenses up so high they're blocking out all the light.
Of -course- someone who doesn't know you will initially find you interesting for the way you look. That's not as bad a thing as the don't-judge-a-book-by-its-cover people would like to think. There are people out there who will take a second look because someone looks interesting, unique, natural, confident, creative, gutsy, refreshingly un-made-up, or whatever other qualities pass the "real me" sniff test. It's not as if surfaces are meaningless; they're just incomplete.
So of someone finds your surface attractive, maybe instead of ruling them out for their interest in your appearance--which, I could argue is just as much a shallow, surface-based prejudice as the one you're condemning them for--instead give them the benefit of the doubt, and see whether they found attractive in your appearance the hint of something more lasting and substantial--like the aforesaid confidence or creativity or guts.
And if you're looking for someone who GETS you, then GET yourself into some things you like to do on your own but that also put you in regular proximity to other singles. That way, if you meet someone you like, then you're with someone you like, and if you don't, then you're being your single independent self and doing something for no one but you.
In other words, less energy on how everyone's letting you down, please--your ex, dating sites, social networking sites, men, your friends, the married guy--and more on doing what works for you, come what may.
re: Arlington's girlfriend: How should she address her behavior? Counseling? Does this fall under the sexual addiction category that would require a specialist, or is this just a general therapy issue?
Carolyn Hax: It doesn't have to be either, if it's just a choice to satisfy herself in a way that seems appealing at the moment. I really didn't detect any remorse in his description of her teary "I'm sorry"--it really came across as, "Just don't dump me." If it's just a choice, then all it takes is for her to 1. stop wanting to be this way, and then 2. stop being this way. Someone who passes it off as "wild oats," and then "a high sex drive," is already pre-justifying the next time she strays, suggesting a lack of will to look inward and figure out what's wrong.
If it is something she regrets and doesn't like about herself, but it's also a compulsion that has resisted her prior efforts to change, then I would suggest therapy with someone who at least has solid experience treating sexual addiction, if not necessarily specializing in it.
Washington, D.C.: Great boyfriend, but I am divorced and he's never been married. I love having a steady boyfriend and if I were to get married again it would be him it's just that I am in the let's take it slow what's the rush lane and he's driving the autobahn to the altar. I know it's probably not fair to hang on to him while I figure it out but I've had two years of freedom and I'm not too sure I'm ready to give that up but I also don't want to lose a great guy in the thought process. What to do to get off the fence?
Carolyn Hax: Nothing. Fences make for very uncomfortable long-term seating, and if you've been there a while, then, sure, it's worth asking why neither side looks better than the other.* But if you haven't been there long, then it makes sense just to accept that you're there for a reason, that your indecision is legitimate and justified, and wait to see if the answer comes to you on its own.
By the way, that he's on the autobahn to the altar is reason in itself to watch from the fence. Stores use limited-time offers to nudge people to buy whether they're ready or not; do you really want sales pressure to be the motivation behind your life partnership?
*If both freedom and a mate look like equally appealing choices, then -always- choose freedom--if only because that's the decision that's far easier to reverse in the event you make a mistake.
Halfway to Divor, CE: Five months ago a friend left her husband. They'd only been married about 18 months, but within six weeks of the wedding she was dropping by for long spells of crying that she'd made a horrible mistake. They've both got issues, and kids, and they probably moved too fast, but she decided to stick with it for at least a year. They saw a therapist together, she continued to see her own therapist. It seemed like such a relief when she finally left--she'd been so miserable and the whole relationship (post-wedding) really brought out her very worst insecurities.
And now I hear through the grapevine that they've been sighted in public together. I don't know if they've just decided to be friends, or are working on getting back together. I don't want her feeling like she needs to slink around or not tell me, but hearing this, I was honestly overwhelmed with dread. I'm not sure that I can fake being supportive. Am I just going to have to suck it up and start practicing my fake-supportive smile for when I see her next.
Carolyn Hax: She'd have less reason to slink around if your default response were to think, "Well, let's see what's up and whether they've fixed their problems before I put on the fakey face."
Since you didn't have the default, then it's likely one of two things is going on here: 1. You tend to be quick to see the negative, or 2. She has a history of waffling her way through these lousy relationships and your well of optimism about her choices ran dry years ago.
The former means some self-examination is called for, to see if you've gotten a bit too cynical for your own good; the latter means it's time to examine this friendship, to see if it has run its course.
Either one beats fake support.
Forest Hill, Md.: A couple we've had a long relationship with have suddenly started to treat my husband and me in a very casual and thoughtless manner. The latest blow was being stood up for dinner at a restaurant, where we waited for an hour and a half, with no phone call to let us know what was going on. Eventually we left. I found out later that they had been held up in traffic,and despite having a cell phone with them, never thought to call the restaurant to explain. This couple is my 83 year old dad and his long-term significant other, who is 82. They don't seem to be losing mental cognition, and are quite independent, healthy and mobile. My husband says it's "diminished capacity" and I should start getting used to it. How does one do that, exactly?
Carolyn Hax: Um. Did you call them?
I know a bunch of you are going to weigh in with answers, but I'm waiting on this bit. Thanks.
Tall and short of it: I have never understood the "a man has to be taller then the woman" thing. Can you please explain why it is so important to so many people? I just don't get it.
Carolyn Hax: I don't know. I always figured it was a caveman protector/provider thing--or its flip side, the cavewoman not wanting to feel large--but I can't say that I get it either.
Woodbridge, Va.: Single person here who would like to know what "freedoms" I enjoy now that I will have to sacrifice if I get married, aside from the obvious freedom to sleep with anyone I want. My married friends don't seem like prisoners to me, but maybe I'm just not fully aware of the terms of their imprisonment.
Carolyn Hax: I don't see it as imprisonment, but there are limits to what married people have a right to do or decide unilaterally. They can't spend big money on whatever they want; they can't just plan a vacation for themselves wherever and whenever they feel like it; they can't just up and change careers, or quit a job, or choose to relocate, or whatever else without considering/discussing the impact that change will have on their mate. They can't just paint a wall their favorite color without asking if the other likes it. Hell, you can find yourself in the middle of a faux pas just by accepting plans on the spot without making sure your mate didn't already schedule something for that date.
When it's a good partnership, these aren't burdens, they're privileges. But they are compromises in one's freedom all the same.
Stick, In the Mud: Dearest Carolyn,
My 3-year-old daughter has just been invited to a classmate's birthday party, to be held three weeks from now. The prickly part for me is that it is a heavily-themed princess party ("bring your princess dress-up clothes!"), to be held at one of those all-inclusive sixth circle of Hell places for kids.
Aside from my personal aversion to the play/party place, our family has tried not to expose our daughter to the princess-stuff. I have a very hard time with the fantasy part and the female expectations that subtly play upon girls from an increasingly early age thanks to media. From my position, I'd prefer not to expose my daughter to this party. My daughter would love it, no question. What do you think?
Carolyn Hax: Your daughter would love it, no question. Why does it have to be more complicated than that?
Please don't take away two hours of kiddie bliss just because it's not what you want for her during the other 22 hours of her day. Those other 22 hours X 365 X 18-21 years will have a much more lasting impression on her than a brief exposure to flashing lights and glitter.
Besides--I haven't yet heard anyone fret that a bowling party will turn girls butch or taint them with a lifelong yearning for used, color-block shoes, so I would advise applying the same lack of significance to this.
Anonymous: Can a couple survive a canceled wedding?
Carolyn Hax: Depends on the couple.
El Paso, Texas: Let's say someone (adopted long ago) found out that a half sibling wants to meet/get in touch/whatever. What is the incentive to meet this person? Is there an obligation when allowing a blood relative in your life? Is it hurtful to say to no? Are you missing something then?
Carolyn Hax: I'm going to have Jodi (hi, Jodi!) post this to the Hax-Philes, because I think you'd benefit from a range of responses, instead of the two or three I could post here.
Arlington, Va.: My husband has very erratic sleeping habits, which usually means he will stay up until 3 a.m. or later, and then crash until 10 a.m.--even on workdays--then work late to make up the hours (fortunately his job allows this). Prior to having a baby, this wasn't really a problem. But now it means that when the baby wakes up in the mornings, I take care of her 100 percent of the time until it is time for her nanny to arrive, and in the evenings, I feed and bathe her, and my husband might get home around the time I am putting her to bed. I explained that his sleeping habits are a problem for me, and he said that he would be willing to see a doctor if I really want him to, but he has done the sleep study thing before (about 10 years ago), and doesn't want to be drugged, and that basically this is how he is wired.
So if he has already predetermined that a visit to the doctor would be a waste of time, should I push it, or learn to accept that it is going to be my job to always take care of our baby in the hours before and after work (which is getting exhausting)?
Carolyn Hax: "You are missing out on our child, our child is missing out on her father, I am missing out on an equal partner--so, yes, I do really want you to make an effort to address your sleep problem in a way that doesn't shift everything onto me." His life is different now, treatments for sleep disorders may well be different now, and thus his excuses are weak now. Stand up for yourself and your family. You'd actually be doing him a favor in the end.
Atlanta, Ga.: Forest Hill sounds kinda ridiculous, like she's just waiting for her dad to mess up so she can accuse him... of being 83 years old. You can tell by the way the letter is structured: the fact that it's her dad doesn't even come in until the very end, which means she wants vindication first before introducing mitigating factors. It's like asking "I don't understand why my friend can't drive well. Oh, by the way, he's blind."
Carolyn Hax: That's how I read it, thanks. Still waiting to hear back.
Cleveland, Ohio: Dear Carolyn, I hope this doesn't seem petty compare to the serious nature of many of your posts, but I've been pulling my hair out over this. I just sent out birthday party invitations for my son's second birthday. My MIL responded that she was happy to receive an invitation considering she was not invited to his first birthday party. I did not send out formal invitations to his first birthday party (it was a brunch at our house with my family). I did not formally call her up to invite her because she said she would be out of town when I mentioned the brunch several weeks prior. She said she still should have been invited. Maybe this is better suited for Miss Manners. But the comments about this from my MIL are driving me to go take a swim in bacon pants.
Carolyn Hax: She should have been invited--maybe she would have liked the chance to change her plans to be there.
I certainly won't defend her strategy of mentioning it a year later--stop peck-peck-pecking and just SAY it, "You really hurt my feelings last year," and be done with it. But the way you phrased your question, it sure sounds like you heard she'd be away, said a private, "Phew," and went ahead with your preferred plan of having only your family. This is your notice: She feels left out, and your "body language" (the written version of it, at least) says you wish you could leave her out more. Be the bigger person--admit you screwed up, and mend the fence.
To the 35-year-old single lady: I wrote in with a sort similar question awhile ago and asked if I should consider talking to a therapist about it. Carolyn's advice was "why not?" So I went. A year and a half later, I'm in the best relationship of my life. Just a thought. But I do think that if you go talk to someone, you have to be ready to hear whatever it is that person says. It might seem ridiculous and totally off the mark sometimes (and sometimes it is) but you have to go away and really think about it before you decide. I was at a complete loss and had no idea why my romantic life wasn't playing out the way I wanted. I think it was just a few subtle things that shifted in me (definitely some defensiveness coming down) but it worked.
Carolyn Hax: Excellent take on the mind set necessary for therapy to do its job. (Therapist also has to do his/her job, obviously, but can't if the patient remains defensive.) Thanks.
Buttins, Ky.: Carolyn,
I'm concerned about my newly married sister. After 6 months of dating, she called to tell me they were engaged, and thinking of eloping... completely unlike her usual pragmatic self.
I mentioned a couple red flags to her at the time (i.e., that he read an old diary of hers and then called her at work to confront her about it, claiming he accidentally came across it while cleaning her apartment -- which was just one of several 'trust issues' in the short time they were dating.
Also, he had been In Recovery for less than a year, which after a lifetime of immersion in The Program, I understand is too short a time to begin a healthy relationship.) I also noticed when with them how possessive he was of her. She assured me they were working on the trust issues, and I haven't said a word since.
But now, a few weeks after the wedding, she seems miserable. She is far away, so I can't judge for myself. But she has mentioned that they barely see each other anymore (he took on a second job) and have been bickering. Also, when she had the flu last week and saw no reason to see a doctor, (just felt like riding it out), he became angry and called her "selfish" to expose him to it.
My question is, is this normal for newlyweds? And, if not, should I broach the topic of how unhappy she seems, or wait for her to come to me?
- Can't Stop Being the Big Sister
Carolyn Hax: 1. Stop seeing yourself as the "big" sister. You're her equal. Be her equal.
2. Keep communicating with her, but do not present her with any conclusions yet. You want her talking, and you want her to trust you. She won't trust you if she believes you've made up your mind, be it for her, against him, or anything else.
3. Do not discount the connections between your recovery and her marrying someone in recovery. Substance abuse, as well as the emotional patterns that lead into and stem from such abuse, run in families. If you and she grew up with an alcoholic parent or parents, your best approach might be to encourage her to see someone about that stuff, vs. focusing on her marriage, since it's never the marriage that's sick, it's always the foundation.
Halfway to Divor, CE, followup: 1) I am a little quick on the negative response and I'm the person who has _always_ chosen freedom instead of a bad relationship, so often I don't have a lot of empathy for "sticking it out".
2) She does have a history of waffling through bad relationships with passive-aggressive manipulative bullies. Except that this time they weren't together long enough before the wedding to sort out that he was the same as her previous long-term relationships. This time they looked blissfully happy (from the outside) until she started to breakdown. And from that moment the dread set in for me, but I worked really hard to be supportive while she tried to work things out for the past year. But I was deeply relieved when she finally moved out.
Thanks for the advice, it's likely I'll either see her this weekend or hear from her soon. I'll try to suspend judgment and just see how she is.
Carolyn Hax: So it's (3) Both of the above! Thanks. Funny how people of your persuasion and hers so often find each other as friends. I guess the generator of eye-roll-worthy relationships needs an eye-roller, and vice-versa.
Since you're honest with yourself about your own contribution to the whine-and-dine dynamic, your best bet might be--once you hear what really is going on--to be more good-naturedly accepting of your role as her designated eye-roller. For example, if does in fact appear she is repeating her usual mistake: "It's hard for me to see what you get out of this, since I hear your complaints and think, 'This is making her unhappy.' But if you are in fact happy this way, then I can accept that. Better that we aren't exactly alike anyway, right?"
I typed that more as an example of internal dialogue, but if you make it conversational, I guess it's a sentiment that bears saying out loud.
North Carolina: My dad's been diagnosed with a stage four chemo resistant cancer. The progression is leading to poorer and poorer neurological function, mostly in his communication/comprehension abilities. It's heartbreaking to watch, but I am committed to being around him and helping him and my mom as much as possible. I know you understand this heartbreak, do you have any advice on staying present for something that is tearing you apart to witness? I'm also struggling with guilt over having wished my dad would just die peacefully during a recent surgery. Everyone was gleeful/thankful when he came out alright. I was just disturbed at the road he's now going to have to travel. Also, how to stay present for my kids when this situation is all I can seem to focus on? I'm having trouble being the mom who kicks a soccer ball around. Sleep is elusive and I'm reading stuff on his type of cancer online over and over.
Carolyn Hax: I;m sorry.
First, I would suggest getting offline. It isn't helping, it won't help. The only thing it can do is eat time that you don't have to spare, deny you sleep and fray your nerves even more.
If you're open to medical intervention on this front, consider talking to your doctor about your sleep problems. You're no good to anyone if you aren't rested, and your doctor can help you with responsible ways to get the lights out when they need to be.
These two are the precursor steps to the real advice: Clear the decks of everything extraneous, and free yourself to be fully in the moment of the important things that remain. When you're with your kids, -be- with your kids. Let your hard lesson in life's impermanence provide the enthusiasm you haven't been feeling on the soccer field lately. There's also nothing wrong with watching them play, appreciating a little youth in action while you rest a bit, and there's nothing wrong with hugging your kids a trace too hard and a second too long while you get yourself through this.
Likewise, when you're with your dad, -be- with your dad. When it gets too hard to watch, put yourself to work at something that will make him happier/more comfortable/somehow better off. Play music for him, decorate his room with your kids' art, go through photo albums, whatever seems appropriate to his condition at the time.
And when you're struggling with guilt, just stop fighting your awful thoughts and know they're what everyone thinks in these situations. Yes, you wished your dad had died peacefully in surgery. It's not a bad thought, it's a loving one. His suffering haunts you, and you'd rather give him up then have him at such a painful and disorienting cost. That's a compassionate and unselfish thought.
Obviously you don't want to act on your awful but compassionate/compassionate but awful thoughts, but there's no shame in just having them. If you don't have someone you feel comfortable talking to about them, then don't be afraid to enlist a pro.
In general, this is going to be a time of big emotions, and those emotions are going to slop out of their container sometimes, often when you least want them to. The best thing I can suggest is that you just know this is going to happen, know it's going to pass, and feel it all without fighting it so hard.
Take care, and good luck.
Re: Forest Hill: I don't think she is looking to get mad at her dad, I think she is just having a hard time facing the idea that maybe he isn't quite as sharp as he used to be. She wants validation that the problem is rudeness so she doesn't have to face the prospect of "getting used to" his diminished capacity.
Carolyn Hax: Anger is a notorious defense against pain (and convenient--my distress is your fault!), so, yes, a possibility. Thanks.
Cleveland, Ohio again: Dear Carolyn, Thanks for your thoughts. Not sure if more details make a difference. My son's birthday fell on Thanksgiving last year, so my family decided to come to our house to celebrate the holiday and the birthday that long weekend (they live eight driving hours away). My in-laws live 15 minutes away, and decided to fly to CA to spend the holiday with my BIL. My husband mentioned that they would be missing our son's birthday when they planned their trip, but they went ahead anyway. She is mad because I (and not my husband) did not formally invite her anyway.
You read between the lines correctly. I do not like my MIL. And I could have moved the birthday celebration to another time, but then my family would not be there. Yes, I chose my family over my in-laws. Considering they see him more often than my in-laws and are more involved with his life, my conscience is clear about this decision.
But I will apologize to mend the fence (and then take that swim).
Carolyn Hax: How about this. The details of what happened (i.e., that they knowingly passed on the birthday to travel elsewhere) do change the answer somewhat. While I still think your MIL is over the line in her targeting your for her displeasure, and I (now) think her son needs to stick up for you here, the substance of your apology should be a little different from what I suggested before. It's not, "I should have invited you," but instead, "I should have realized how important this was to you, and held a separate celebration when you returned."
The good part about this is not only that it's specific to the situation and therefore credible, but it also gives you a chance to say--if you're up to it--"Please, though, in the future, tell me what you're upset about so I have a chance of making it right. A year later, there's just so much I can do."
It's both a bona fide attempt to mend the fence, and an unmistakable lobbing of the ball into her court.
Single freedom, Va.: Here's a perfect example for the person who wanted to know what freedoms they'd have to give up - once you're married with a kid, you have to give up going to bed at 3 a.m., because now there are people in your life who are affected (and most likely annoyed) by it.
Carolyn Hax: Picture this as flashing lights, confetti and noisemakers to mark an excellent merging of threads.
Three sisters: I had to laugh at the question in today's column about the two older sisters who didn't like to hang around with the little one. A perfect description of me and my sisters growing up! (I was the middle one.) I can't recall what my mom did, but I know we older ones were not terribly kind to little sis. But we're all adults now. Great friends. And that started already in our teens. So, Mom of three -- don't worry so much. Just be kind to them all and understand that this is probably very normal.
Carolyn Hax: Kind, yes, and -fair.- I can't emphasize that enough. Unequal treatment, whether real or perceived, is a killer. Thanks.
For North Carolina: For North Carolina,
Call your local Hospice Chapter ASAP. Your father might not be ready to be admitted to hospice care, but I was a hospice social worker and not only can they help you with your father's new diagnosis, they will have a bereavement support group to help you with day to day life and mourning. Furthermore, the staff will be a great help when and if you need additional services.
But if nothing more that to find others who are coping like you, please call.
Carolyn Hax: Excellent suggestion, thanks.
I know this is kind of silly to be worried about: But I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year(for the first time ever) and am worried that my mother will try to take over on the big day. I have everything well planned (you should see the lists), but can see her coming in and saying shouldn't a, b, or c be done this way or shouldn't we set this up this way. As a side note, I should add that she has been know to walk into my house and start moving furniture around because she things the layout of my house could be improved. A lot of times I just let things go if I think it will cause an argument, but don't really want to giving how much effort I will have put into everything. I want to be able to get her to back off without offending her and starting a fight.
Carolyn Hax: This is not silly to be worried about. You have a mother with boundary-blindness, and you have a significant need for your mother to respect your boundaries. If our sense of self and our relationship with our parents is silly, then what exactly qualifies as important?
The problem you have coming is that working up a big emotional investment in this day with very little (realistic) forethought in protecting that investment. If you've got the mom you describe, then you need to KNOW--as in, not just fear--that your mom is going to barge into your kitchen and make pronouncements, pass judgments and take over. That's who she is, that's what she does.
So now you, with the benefit of this knowledge and a couple of weeks to prepare, need to figure out what you're going to do WHEN this happens. You need to decide, among other things, when you'll say "Thanks, Mom," and keep doing things your way, and when you'll say "No, thanks."; when you will stand your ground or let things go; whether you'll continue to stand your ground if she tries to start a fight; whether you will fight back or walk away; whether you have any allies who can say, "Come on, Mom/Auntie Lou/Mrs. X, come into the living room and tell me all about your trip to Y." And don't be afraid to prepare what you'll say, such as: "Mom, you may well be right about everything, but I want a chance to try this my own way, even if it means I get everything wrong. When I want your expertise, I will ask, but right now I'm excited about doing this alone."
Another noodge-management tactic is to figure out a time-consuming bit of busy work you can assign her when she gets all up in your stuff. Have a few of them thought out in advance, even.
Rockville, Md.: Dear Carolyn, Is there a polite way to tell someone to stop asking so many questions? Whenver I see my MIL (about weekly), I am peppered with question after question. Often, I am the last one eating at dinner because I have to respond to so many questions. My husband and FIL talk amongst themselves. I think they are relieved to not be the target of the Spanish Inquisition. I have tried one-word responses, changing the focus onto something else, to no avail. Even pleas to my husband have not worked. I am going to have to take this bull by the horns, but want to do so in the most tactful way. Thanks for any suggestions.
Carolyn Hax: Do you ask her any questions? Not sure if that falls under "changing the focus."
It can actually be a nice flourish if you try this: She asks you a question and you, in lieu of answering, say, "Oh, I'm glad you brought that up ..." followed by a question to her. Gives her zero traction. If she persists, you can say, "We always talk about me, and I'm a bit tired of myself as a topic. What's up with X?" You might do better if X is someone not her, maybe your FIL, another child of hers, anything that might get her going.
And if it doesn't, then: "No, really, I'd like the topic to be anyone but me."
I realize Im not addressing the substance of her nosiness, but that's because it could be she's nosy, or that she wants to feel closer to you, or that she lacks receptors for social nuance, or ... etc. So, I;m dealing only with the symptom.
BTW, your husband is half of the bull you need to wrestle here. What's with the once a week visits and no backup, when you're clearly unhappy? A little help is in order, and a lot of help would be even better.
Stafford, Va.: My 15-year-old son crawled out of his bedroom window yesterday and left a note saying he was not happy with the plans we (his parents) had made for his life. He also said he did not want to have a relationship with us. My wife called him and he lied to her saying he was at home when he was at a friend's home. Later, when my wife got home from D.C., she discovered he had left by way of the window. When she called him at his friend's home, he refused to return home, said something about wanting to be on his own, but would not tell her that anything was wrong or what he might be upset about. My wife is heartbroken and cried half the night. I expect he will return home in the next day or two, how should we deal with him? This is the second time in the last month that he has pulled this stunt.
Carolyn Hax: It's not a "stunt." It's the behavior of someone who is at least weighing the idea of taking serious action to be heard.
Have you gotten family counseling yet? Let him know you want to listen to him and take his concerns seriously--thus introducing the therapist as the third party. You don't have to agree with him or indulge him, just hear him out. He's likely to think the counselor is there just to repeat/enforce the parental party line, so you probably have to knock that down upfront.
RE: Princess: "Your daughter would love it, no question. Why does it have to be more complicated than that?"
Thanks, Carolyn. And piling on: My daughter became enamored early on with an activity that not only bored me, but I actively dislike. My wife backed me off of discouragement, and I'm so glad she did.
Years later, I still don't like the activity. But that, I realize, is MY problem. My daughter absolutely blooms when she partakes, and her happiness is MY happy.
Carolyn Hax: Thanks, well put. A few people responded to the issue in a what's-the-big-deal kind of way, but it is a big deal.
We do need to be mindful of how a culture's messages will affect our children, but there's a fine line between that and rigid parental thinking. The latter is so stifling to kids, and really messes with the way they see themselves, which of course is their primary source of strength--and the very thing most parents have in mind when they feel the need to protect against bad cultural influences.
Which is, like, trippy, man.
North Carolina: Oh, and thanks in particular for the suggestions about how to handle when things get overwhelming being with Dad. I think I'll copy your entire answer and keep it around to help me think in those moments.
Also, thanks to the 'nut who wrote in about hospice. I had the idea that we wouldn't be contacting them until we were really almost "there". I'm glad to know there's more to the picture. I'll get in touch with them this next week.
Carolyn Hax: I'm guilty of under-recommending hospice. I know about it but always forget. It is, at the moment at least, the most widely accessible resource we have with the most rational and compassionate attitude toward death. This is no small thing given the awkward relationship Americans have with the subject.
Carolyn Hax: That's it for today. Thanks everyone, have a great weekend and I'll type to you next week.
re: Stafford, Va.: Maybe this is me being a little too suspicious, but why did the kid have to climb out the window if he was assumedly at home alone? (Mom called to check in.) Just seemed like a weird detail...
Carolyn Hax: Right, I missed that--unless it was about dodging neighbors? Stafford, if you're there, a clarification? tx.
In her daily column in The Washington Post Style section, Carolyn Hax offers readers advice based on the experiences of someone who's been there. Hax is an ex-repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes.
E-mail Carolyn at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Got more to say? Check out Carolyn's discussion group, Hax-Philes. Comments submitted to the chat may be used in the discussion group.
Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.


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Well, that didn't take long. Roughly 90 seconds after news broke of Monday's mass shooting in Washington D.C., the usual suspects fell in line and went to the Internet, radio and television to do what they do.
The conspiracy theorists told us that this was obviously a false flag operation designed by three men in the basement of a Norwegian castle. Don't get me wrong. History is filled with conspiracies. But history is also filled with evil. And sometimes evil people do evil things without conspiring with anyone. Well, anyone but the devil.
The progressive politicians were at it too. They used the opportunity, and I use that word intentionally, to promote gun control. The president used guarded words to say that he and his administration would do, "everything that we can to prevent" tragedies like this one.
Senator Dianne Feinstein was more direct. "Congress must stop shirking its responsibility and resume a thoughtful debate on gun violence in this country."
Of course, not too many politicians are asking how a man in a city with some of the strictest gun laws in the nation managed to walk into, get this, a highly secure military facility carrying a shotgun. Perhaps the federal government should spend more time investigating how to keep its own bases and employees safe instead of worrying about making it harder for average citizens to buy guns. But that would require politicians to stop finger-pointing and begin a bit of self-examination. Go ahead and carry on with your plans and I'll let you know when something like that happens.
Maybe the best response to all of this came from a doctor. Janis Orlowski is the chief medical officer at MedStar Washington Hospital Center. She was the doctor overseeing the treatment of Monday's victims and she has become an expert in tragedies like these.
"There's something evil in our society that we as Americans have to work to try and eradicate."
Tragedies like the one in D.C. on Monday tend to make us think that evil just kind of shows up every other month or so. But it's with us everyday. It's with us as our government funds the killing of babies and plans unprovoked attacks on other countries. It's with us as we allow hate to fester and injustice to go unchecked.
But the real source of evil in our society isn't a power-hungry politician with bad ideas. It's an blood-thirsty adversary, bent on death and destruction.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)
No amount of gun control laws or libertarian principles can eradicate this evil. The answer isn't found in wrapping ourselves in the American flag. We have to look deeper. Looking deeper takes work. It involves painful self-examination. It takes us to dark places and reminds us that we are in a daily battle where hanging in the balance are life and death, Heaven and Hell.
Wayne McDill once said, "the fundamental reality of every need is to trust God." That's a good word for us today. But it's a hard one to apply. We want to feel like we're doing something. We need more laws. Give us another speech. Show me something I can sign or like on Facebook. Something! Anything!
While there certainly is a time for action, that action tends to be counterproductive if it is not first rooted in trusting God (James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:9-10). That's because we are not primarily working against bad laws or security flaws. We are fighting against an evil that is not new to our society. It has been attacking us and killing us since the Garden of Eden.
Sometimes it shows up in horrific ways like we saw on Monday.
Sometimes it's federally funded.

subset: commoncrawl


text: Well, my USB Adapter will not be recognized in the computer anymore. I have another Micro SD Adapter, but it won't read SDHC micro sd cards. I tried downloading two hot fixes, installing it gives me "Setup has detected that the Service Pack version of the system is newer than the update you are applying. There is no need to install this update". The micro sd card is not fried (thank god). Any ideas? ~Sheimi


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United Interfaith Food Bank
In 2005, the SCC became a founding member of the United Interfaith Food Bank, a group of three churches (SCC, Christ Church and St. James the Less) and two synagogues (Scarsdale Synagogue and Shaarei Tikvah) that donates 210 bags of food per month to three nonprofit organizations in the Bronx: Thorpe Family Residence, St. Brendan's Roman Catholic Church and Bronx Jewish Community Council. As an SCC congregant, you can assist in several ways: donate regular-sized jars of peanut butter by bringing them to church or having them shipped directly to the church office to help us meet our monthly goal of collecting 105 jars; make a monetary donation earmarked for peanut butter; help to pack food every other Tuesday; or deliver the bags of food to one of the recipient organizations once every few months. For more information, click here.


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News - 2014
31 Jul 2014. Mountain Lions. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) and the Okongwe lions are still together in the Okongwe Mountains south of the Gomatum River. They are moving along the high mountain ridges at an altitude of 3,800 feet (1,150 m) – this translate to 2,400 feet (730 m) above ground level at the Gomatum River. Last night Xpl-68 moved 5.2 km with altitude fluctuations of >750 feet (230 m).
30 Jul 2014. Rosh's Vacuum. It can be expected amongst social mammals, like lions, that the sudden death or removal of a prominent breeding male will result in unusual movements & behaviour until a new male or coalition of males claim the vacancy. The curious movement patterns of the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) during the past month coincide with the shooting of Xpl-73 "Rosh" on 1 Jul 2014. During this period the "Terrace Male" explored some of the core areas utilised by "Rosh", which he had not ventured into previously. Last night the "Terrace Male" encountered the Okongwe females in the Gomatum River 22 km east of Purros. It was an interaction charged with social conflict and with a lot of roaring. The Okongwe lions and Xpl-68 then moved over the mountains towards Okongwe.
29 Jul 2014. West of Tomakas. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) moved westwards along the Gomatum River and settled for the day in a narrow valley on the south side of the mountain range (photo: top). The training course held at the new Hoanib Camp was completed (see 24 & 26/27 Jul 2014). Ten staff members completed the course and passed the final examination. The trainees were subjected to a basic-knowledge test at the start of the course where the average score was 55% (see graph: bottom left). At the end of the two days they were given a comprehensive and substantially more difficult test. In this exam the average result was 71% with all ten individuals scoring above 60%.
28 Jul 2014. "Terrace Male" in Danger. During the night Xpl-68 moved through the highest and most rugged of the Okongwe Mountains and was very close to the Tomakas Villages at 02h00 this morning. By 06h30 he had moved a few hundred metres towards the mountains. All available resources have been pooled and a major effort is underway to avoid or limit livestock losses and conflict with the Tomakas community. And to prevent the iconic "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) from being killed.
26/27 Jul 2014. Hoanib Training. During the past two days a training programme was held for the Guides and Management staff of the new Hoanib Desert Camp of Wilderness Safaris. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) was also monitored as he moved through the mountains between the Ganamub River and Okongwe.
25 Jul 2014. Xpl-68 in Obias River. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) moved northwards along the Obias River. His movements were monitored throughout the night in case he moved to the Tomakas village. Data were collected on the status and condition of the roads around the lower Hoanib River to facilitate in the training programme that starts tomorrow.
24 Jul 2014. Training. A detailed training programme is being prepared for all the new tour guides and managers of the Wilderness Safaris Hoanib Camp. The training will address the ecology and behaviour of lions and brown hyaenas, collecting systematic data during game drives, and the management of vehicle tracks. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) has moved along the Hoanib River towards Elephant Song and may get into contact with livestock and people if he continues.
23 Jul 2014. Salvadora Bush. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) dragged his Oryx carcass inside a thick Salvadora bush on the south bank of the Hoanib River. Several brown hyaenas were observed nearby at sunset (photos below). The Floodplain Pride is currently 14 km to the southwest. The movements of both Xpl-68 and the Floodplain lions are being monitored closely.
22 Jul 2014. "Joey". With the influx of wildlife to the lower Hoanib River the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) succeeded in catching an Oryx on the southern bank of the River just east of the Floodplain. Several brown hyaenas, including the radio-collared female "Joey" (Xhb-16), were observed at the kill (photo: top right).
21 Jul 2014. Hoanib Desert Camp. Monitoring of the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) continued and he is still in the lower section of the Hoanib River. Substantial numbers of prey animals, such as Oryx & springbok, have returned to the Hoanib River after they dispersed following the high rainfall earlier in the year. This is good for the lions as they are less likely to move towards human settlements and livestock in their search for food. Building of the new Wilderness Safaris Hoanib Camp is nearing completion. The Hoanib Camp is expected to open on 1 Aug 2014 (photos: bottom row).
20 Jul 2014. Vehicle Repairs. A large section of the internal infrastructure of the Land Cruiser was dismantled to isolate and repair the electrical problem of the solar power system. Notwithstanding, the sound system is still not working and will have to be repaired tomorrow. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) and the Floodplain Pride have moved closer to each other.
19 Jul 2014. Roaring. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) moved a short distance along the Hoanib River. He was observed roaring often and he will hopefully make contact with the Floodplain Pride.
17/18 Jul 2014. Floodplain Pride. The two Floodplain lionesses and the "Five Musketeers" were located 16 km south west of the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68). They were foraging on the gravel plains where there are concentrations of Oryx and springboks. Repairs to the Land Cruiser are still underway.
16 Jul 2014. Xpl-68. Since his translocation to the Hoanib River the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) has been kept under observation during the daylight hours. His behaviour is normal and thus far there is no obvious indication that he wants to return to the Purros area. Repairs to the research vehicle were delayed by the monitoring of Xpl-68, but needs to be completed before any serious work can continue.
15 Jul 2014. Repairs. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) recovered fully from the long sedation and translocation from the Gomatum River. Okahirongo Elephant Lodge is thanked for their support and assistance with the monitoring of Xpl-68 during the past week. The rough conditions and extensive use of the specialised equipment on the research vehicle, especially during the last week with Xpl-68 at Purros, resulted in a breakdown of the solar power system and equipment failure. It is essential to the success of the Project that the vehicle and all its equipment function properly, especially in crisis situations. For example, on 14 Jul 2014 when Xpl-68 was darted there was an electrical failure that prevented the use of important equipment, such as the sound system and lights. These problems will have to be repaired in the field during the next few days.
14 Jul 2014. Necessary Action. At sunset the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) came out of the narrow gorge where he spent the day and headed along the Gomatum River straight towards Tomakas village (photo: top right). An anthropomorphic, but all too realistic, view of a "suicide mission" seems appropriate to describe the behaviour and movement patterns of Xpl-68 during the past week. For reasons of human-lion conflict, public safety in the Purros area, and the survival of the "Terrace Male", it was decided to relocate him to the Hoanib Floodplain. After a seven-hour drive Xpl-68 was release near the Floodplain in a thick blanket of fog at 05h40 this morning (photo: bottom right). By 06h50 he had recovered sufficiently to start feeding on a springbok carcass (photo: bottom left). The "Terrace Male" was immobilised less than 200 metres from the place where Xpl-73 "Rosh" was shot.
13 Jul 2014. Gomatum River. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) started moving at dark and reached the Gomatum River at midnight (see top image). He then followed the Gomatum valley in an easterly direction. This was fortunate since the route took him away from a large cattle post south of Purros, but also concerning because he walked past the place where Xpl-73 "Rosh" was shot two weeks ago and towards Tomakas where there are large numbers of livestock.
12 Jul 2014. Xpl-68 in Mountains 2. The movements of the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) were monitored intensively from a high vantage point using a combination of VHF telemetry, satellite collar locations and the quad-copter. This was necessary because of the lion's close proximity to the village and cattle posts. Xpl-68 remained inactive until 01h00 when he started moving through the mountains towards the southwest (see bottom image). At 03h00 he changed direction to the east and may have captured a prey animal because he is still in the same position.
11 Jul 2014 11h00. Xpl-68 in Mountains. It would appear that the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) made a kill in the mountains 12 km northeast of Purros (map: bottom left). The kill was possibly made at around 04h00 on 10 Jul 2014. At sunrise he left the location (see red X, map: bottom right) and spent the day between the rocks of a high mountain peak. At sunset he returned to the same place and only vacated the area at dawn. This behaviour is somewhat unusual and it can be speculated that he may have been disturbed at the kill during the daylight hours. This area is inaccessible by vehicle, but small groups of Ovahimba pastoralists are known to utilise the area when surface water is available for their livestock. The Purros Conservancy are not aware of the current locations of these families because they are nomadic and live in temporary settlements.
11 Jul 2014. Xpl-10. Valuable photographs of a lioness feeding on a porcupine at the mouth of the Hoaruseb River on 1 May 2014 were received from Willem Dekker (see link). Heiko Denker is thanked for forwarding this information. The lioness was identified as Xpl-10 (photos: below). The record fills an important gap in the timeline of her whereabouts between 17 Apr 2014 and 12 May 2014.
10 Jul 2014 10h00. Xpl-68 Update. During the night the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) was observed hunting donkeys on the gravel plains to the west of the Hoaruseb River. It was possible to capture several photos in the moonlight using long exposure settings (see below). Judging by his condition it is unlikely that Xpl-68 killed any prey during the past 4 days near Purros. Nonetheless, his movement patterns into areas occupied by people and livestock (see map below) are worrying because of the inevitable conflict that will ultimately result in his death.
10 Jul 2014. Xpl-68 at Purros 3. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) moved closer to Purros during the night and rested inside dense vegetation during the day. Despite intensive monitoring of his movements and the presence of a vehicle close to his actual location (using radio telemetry) for the past three days, Xpl-68 has not yet been seen.
9 Jul 2014. Xpl-68 at Purros 2. Thus far there is no evidence that the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) has killed livestock in the upper Hoaruseb River. He wondered into the mountains to the east during the night and returned to the river shortly before daybreak (see map). The situation is tense because there are people and livestock occupying the area to the north of his current location.
8 Jul 2014. Xpl-68 at Purros. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) walked more than 60 km last night and ended up at the same location (12 km north of Purros, see photo: top), which he visited several times during the past few months. There are still many donkeys in the area and it is assumed that he killed one early this morning. The "Five Musketeers" were observed at sunrise this morning as they moved northwards along the Tsuxib River (photos: bottom row).
7 Jul 2014. Floodplain Pride. The "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) missed an encounter with the Floodplain lionesses by several hours – Xpl-68 moved northwards towards Okongwe at sunset and the lionesses arrived from the south at his earlier location near Amp's Poort sometime after midnight. The Floodplain pride, including the "Five Musketeers", was located with the aid of the quad-copter (photos: top & bottom left). By morning the "Terrace Male (Xpl-68) had reached Purros and he returned to his usual spot in the Hoaruseb River where he kills donkeys.
6 Jul 2014. Hoanib Dynamics. Although the "Terrace Male" (Xpl-68) is moving over a very large area he continuously returns to the Hoanib River. With the recent death of Xpl-73 "Rosh" there is a strong possibility that the "Terrace Male" will connect with the Floodplain lionesses and that he could become the new "Hoanib" male, following in the footsteps of Xpl-3 "Adolf" (photo: bottom left – Floodplain Aug 2009) and Xpl-73 "Rosh" (photo: bottom right – mating with Xpl-69 Aug 2011).
5 Jul 2014. Value of Technology. Integrating the latest technology with field-based wildlife research, such as the Desert Lion Project, can be problematic and one can easily become side-tracked in the process. However, when appropriate these technological additions can be of significant value. For example, satellite imagery linked to navigation software on an iPad (see 2 Jul 2014) made it possible to find the two Hunkap males on a zebra carcass in mountainous terrain at night (see map - blue line indicates the route driven as guided by the satellite image). Furthermore, it was also possible to observe the lions in total darkness using infrared video equipment (photos: below).
4 Jul 2014. Xpl-87. The two Hunkap males (Xpl-81 "Kebbel" & Xpl-87) were pursued in the mountains east of Orowau spring (see panorama animation below) with the aim of locating the lionesses that are currently utilising the area. The males killed a zebra during the early morning hours and with a stroke of luck it was possible to reach the location with the research vehicle in the dark. At sunrise Xpl-87 was photographed at the kill (photos: bottom row). Hopes are that the lionesses will visit the carcass tonight.
3 Jul 2014. "Rosh" is dead. Xpl-73 "Rosh" was shot in the Gomatum River 20 km southeast of Purros on 1 Jul 2014. It is yet unknown why he was killed, but the Lion Rangers of the Purros Conservancy will be making inquiries. "Rosh" was a legend and for the past four years he was the dominant male in the northern section of the Desert lion population. Born in the Uniab River, he died at the age of ten years. He was one of the most valuable lions for tourism and was observed regularly by visitors and tour groups. He was fitted with a satellite radio collar on 8 Sep 2010 and his movements and behaviour was studied intensively until he died. During this time he moved a total distance of 15,012 km (n = 22,873 data points) at an average of 11.8 km/day (range: 0 – 58.5 km) over an area of 11,595 sqr km (see map below). At a time when adult male lions were rare "Rosh" played a key role in the population. He was associated with five different prides and was recorded to mate with 16 different lionesses. Depending on DNA analysis, to confirm paternity, Xpl-73 is believed to have fathered a total of 32 cubs, including the "Five Musketeers".
2 Jul 2014 09h00. Xpl-73 "Rosh". It would appear that "Rosh" (Xpl-73) might have been shot yesterday afternoon. The locations of his satellite collar (see Xpl-73) indicate that he moved 20.4 km between 14h51 and 18h51 to the Purros settlement. The collar has not moved since.
2 Jul 2014. Orowau. Despite using satellite images, navigation software and a quad-copter to search for passages though the mountains (photos: top row), the terrain remains problematic and large sections are inaccessible. The two Hunkap males (Xpl-81 "Kebbel" & Xpl-87) were observed with night-vision equipment near Orowau spring. They were still attracted to and feeding on the remains of the leopard baits (photos: bottom row).
1 Jul 2014. Onjoka. Finding lions and negotiating the mountainous terrain between Orowau and the upper Aub/Barab Rivers is difficult. A system is being developed using high quality satellite imagery and navigation software on an iPad to find drivable routes through the mountains (photo: left). Xpl-81 "Kebbel" was spotted briefly at distance. Boas Hambo is thanked for providing photos of lions observed in the area.


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Manchester United: The Red Devils' First XI Under-21 SideSeptember 21, 2011
Manchester United: The Red Devils' First XI Under-21 Side
Manchester United have a history of bringing youngster's through to the first team, and creating legendary players in the process. From Busby's Babes to Fergie's Fledglings, United have had some phenomenal young players.
Recently, Fergie's youth players have been flying in both the Premier League and Carling Cup, so that got me thinking: What would United's First XI of Under-21 players look like.
The formation is the classic 4-4-2, and only incorporates players born after September 21st, 1989.
Goalkeeper: David De Gea (20)
The young Spanish goalkeeper cost Sir Alex approximately £18 million in the summer transfer window. After an initially rocky start, De Gea is starting to demonstrate why he is the first choice keeper for United, and looks to be for some time.
The U-21 Spanish International has loads of experience for the young age of 20, including winning the 2011 European U-21 Championships, competing in La Liga, and winning the 2010-11 Europa League with Atletico Madrid.
LB: Fabio (21)
The young Brazilian was brought into United along with his twin brother Rafael, who at the time was considered the more talented youth. However, Fabio has sprouted into a solid talent in his own right.
While finding first-team opportunities are limited due to the presence of Patrice Evra, Fabio can most certainly learn for one of the best left-backs in the world and incorporate those skills into his game.
Extremely impressive going forward, Fabio does have room for improvement in his defensive capabilities.
CB: Phil Jones (19)
It's hard to believe that Phil Jones is still only 19. Purchased from Blackburn for £16 million, Jones could still shape up to be the steal of the season.
Jones has more than impressed at both centre-back and full-back this season. He provides a physical presence, is not afraid to plunge forward, and has shown qualities of leadership on the field.
Hailed as a direct replacement for Rio Ferdinand, Jones looks set to be a stalwart for both United and England for some time.
CB: Chris Smalling (21)
Alongside Jones will be fellow rising star Chris Smalling.
Smalling has also been increasingly impressive this season in both the centre-back and full-back positions, and is a versatile, composed and calculated defender.
Against Chelsea, Smalling demonstrated that he is a threat going forward as well (although his goal was probably offsides).
For the United faithful, a transition from Vidic-Ferdinand to Jones-Smalling isn't quite so scary, and the England duo seem like a solid future pairing.
RB: Rafael (21)
Though currently out due to shoulder injury, Rafael has developed into a great talent and is expected to challenge for a starting full-ack spot upon his return.
Much like his twin brother, Rafael is phenomenal going forward, and can create many problems for defenses, but he too must improve defensively.
Are the Da Silva twins reminiscent of the Neville brothers to anyone else?
RM: Ravel Morrison (18)
Touted by many as the next reserve to make the jump to the first team, Ravel Morrison has impressed at all levels of the United youth side.
Skillful and creative, Morrison is a versatile player, but is most comfortable on the wings. If the youngster can fully control his attitude, Morrison could develop into a superb talent.
The Englishman has already made his senior debut, appearing in last year's Carling Cup match against Wolves, and is surely looking for more opportunities to impress.
CM: Danny Drinkwater (21)
Already capped at the Under-21 level for England, Danny Drinkwater is another impressive young talent in the central midfield.
Drinkwater doesn't shy away from tackles, and yet is still skillful going forward.
It seems as though Sir Alex is desperate for the youngster to gain first-team experience, as Drinkwater has spent the past few season on loan with a host of Championship clubs such as Cardiff, Watford, and now Barnsley.
Expect the midfielder to be loaned out for some premier league experience before returning for the Red Devils (a la Tom Cleverley).
CM: Paul Pogba (18)
Hailed by many as the next Patrick Vieira, Paul Pogba has impressed in the United youth side since his 2009 move from Le Harve in France.
At 6'1'', Pogba provides physicality as well as great vision, stamina and a powerful shot.
The Frenchman has represented his country at every youth level except U-21, but is surely expected to make that jump soon.
Pogba certainly has impressed at United, as Sir Alex felt it was time to hand the youngster his senior debut against Leeds United on Tuesday.
LM: Robert Brady (19)
Robert Brady is a powerful winger that, despite being injured for most of the 2009-10 reserve season, still managed to impress the United youth coaches thoroughly.
Well-balanced, paced and with an eye for goal, Brady has already established himself in the Ireland U-21 side.
Much like Drinkwater, Brady needs exposure to first team football, and thus is on loan at Hull City until January.
FW: Danny Welbeck (20)
After a successful loan spell at Sunderland, Welbeck has returned to Manchester determined to prove his worth.
After being offered the opportunity to start due to Hernandez's concussion, Welbeck certainly took his opportunity, scoring twice in his first three EPL starts for United (against Tottenham and Arsenal, I might add).
Due to his solid performances, Welbeck has seemingly leaped over both Dimitar Berbatov and Michael Owen to establish himself as the third-choice striker for the Red Devils.
FW: Federico Macheda (20)
After joining the United youth side from Lazio in 2007, Macheda has progressed well and has been part of the first team since 2009.
Macheda has consistently shown an eye for goal, and most certainly impressed during this year's pre-season.
Unfortunately, Macheda finds himself a victim of circumstance, as he lands behind Rooney, Hernandez, Welbeck, Berbatov, and Owen in the striker's queue.
Hopefully, with more first team opportunities, the Italian U-21 international will continue to develop into a stalwart forward.
Ben Amos, Goalkeeper (21)
Ezekiel Fryers, Defender (19)
Oliver Norwood, Midfielder (20)
Ryan Tunnicliffe, Midfielder (18)
Joshua King, Forward (19)
Reece Brown, Defender (19)
Larnell Cole, Midfield (18)


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The final registration day for 2nd annual THE Teen Writers Conference is just around the corner: Tuesday, May 25th. (That's a week from TOMORROW.)
If you know a teen who wants to write, this is the place for them!
The Teen Writers Conference includes lots of workshops with published writers, including Janette Rallison (whose sales are just under a million copies now), Dan Wells (international best-seller and Whitney Award winner for Best Novel by a New Author), and many others (including yours truly).
For an all-day conference, it's dirt cheap: $43 for the full day, and that includes lunch. (Attendees are welcome to bring along snacks as well. They can also bring their own lunch and pay just $35 for registration.)
Why is the conference so cheap? Because the committee behind it considers this a labor of love. The cost is to cover basic expenses. We truly believe in giving teens the tools and skills to become successful writers and to follow their passions.
THE CONTEST: The conference also has a one-page contest for attendees that you don't want to miss out on. Getting judge feedback can be a huge step in the learning process, even if you don't win one of the FANTASTIC prizes we have in store.
So bring your teen to Weber State University in Ogden on Saturday, June 5th (AFTER registering by May 25th, right?). The campus is not far for most Utahns (and last year, we had teen attendees from Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona, and Colorado!).
New this year: A class especially for last-year attendees who will be no longer teens for 2011 and therefore are "graduating" to the big-time adult conferences. That class will address issues like: Were to do I go now? How to pursue my writing career?
Notes for parents: The authors will have their books for sale at the conference, and most will be at a discount. (Just a heads-up, because after hearing the speakers, I'm guessing some of your teens will want to get a book or two or three.)
Parents are NOT allowed to hang around the conference (that sorta hinders the teen-thing goals), but parents are invited to the final panel and contest award announcement at the end of the day.
For full information on registration, the contest, the full schedule, and more, visit THE Teen Writers Conference website.


text:
The Renegade Trailer (1995)
05 July 1995 76 mins
The double-billing you've been waiting for! Falcon Superstars Ken Ryker and Hal Rockland on a wild motorcycle ride along the rugged California coast! Join Trent Reed, Chris Ramsey, Matt Bradshaw, Todd Stevens, Kevin Wolf, and Joe Kent on a climax-filled journey that will leave you wanting more!
Watch the official The Renegade 1995 trailer in HD below.


text:
Dina is a modern, clean and minimal restaurant WordPress theme. It's the best solution for cafes, restaurants, bars, pubs, bakeries, bistros, pizzas and any food, drink restaurant related businesses.
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Coupon Codes » Online Services » Buy Three Checks for £29.97
February 21, 2015
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"I got this recipe from The Fresh Market website. It was a hit in my house, and I'll definitely be making it again! I used chicken tenderloins instead of split chicken breasts, and about 1/8 cup dried parsley flakes."
Chicken for a Winter Night
0 recipe photos
READY IN:1hr 10mins
Ingredients Nutrition
- 5 slices bacon
- butter, as needed
- 3 chicken breast halves, cut into 2-inch chunks
- 1⁄2 cup flour
- 1⁄2 teaspoon salt
- 1⁄2 teaspoon pepper
- 4 medium red potatoes, cut into chunks
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 large onion, chopped
- 1⁄2 teaspoon dried thyme
- 2⁄3 cup chicken broth
- 1⁄2 cup fresh parsley, chopped (optional)
- 1⁄2 cup dry white wine
- Preheat oven to 350°.
- Cut bacon in 1/2 inch pieces and cook until crisp. Remove from skillet.
- Mix flour with salt and pepper.
- Coat chicken in flour mixture. Brown chicken in bacon fat. Do not crowd chicken in the pan. Add butter if you need more fat.
- As chicken browns, put in 3 quart casserole dish.
- Add potatoes, onions, and garlic to skillet and brown lightly.
- Add to chicken.
- Put thyme and broth in skillet. Heat and scrape crust from skillet. Pour evenly over chicken and scatter bacon pieces on top.
- Cover and bake 40 minutes.
- Add parsley and wine.
- Uncover chicken and increase heat to 425°.
- Bake 15 minutes longer or until potatoes are tender.
get the genius kitchen app.
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text:
Earlier this week, I opined that the first unfairness of weight-loss maintenance is that it is not a zippy lifestyle, but a third- to half-time unpaid job. Like any job, it need not be joyless, but one may need to force joy into it. Here's a typical day at "work."
4:30 am: I stand on the scale. It's like checking email and voice mail. What message has my body left me? If my weight is stable and below my current "panic weight" I still must work, but it's a little less stressful than if I have to reverse a one-pound (or more) regain, a process that may require weeks of "tweaking" my regimen.
4:30-5:30 am: I don my exercise clothes, take a thyroid pill, make a pot of coffee, prepare my mind.
5:30-6:30 am: I take my place in front of the TV, wearing a weighted vest and ankle weights, with hand weights at the ready. In order for an aerobics DVD to be "productive" (prevent a weight slide), I know I must carry 20 to 30 extra pounds throughout an average 55 minute routine, and often I add extra moves and double-time the instructor in interval bursts. I must soak my bra with sweat. Alternatively, I go to the gym and use the track and weights, or I walk outdoors, but I must go longer – two hours walking seven miles counts for a day's exercise, for example. Read the rest of this entry »


text:
Moving forward with Composr
ocPortal has been relaunched as Composr CMS. ocPortal 9 is superseded by Composr 10.
Head over to compo.sr for our new site, and to our migration roadmap. Existing ocPortal member accounts have been mirrored.
Login / Search
#71046 (In Topic #14988)
Fan in action
Very nice system and props to anyone who worked on the last upgrade/update.
After mastering the art of Joomla, Mombo, Droopla and of course, WordPress and a couple others, I have found a CMS that is a "right out of the box" packed with gooshing goodness. Thanks guys and gals. I love getting to know new things but after the last hand of years banging my head against the wall many times, ocPortal seems like a breath of fresh air.
What a struggle sometimes just to setup some of those cms's. Even after you know them inside and out. Boredom becomes more of a factor. Then bridging a forum I care for (Masters Degree in SMF and UbbThreads) just adds to the fun.
Power Tools List:
Adobe Master Collection CS5.5
Avid Studio (Pin v10-v14HD)
Office 10
Whole gaggle of other things picked up along the way
Fluent in Win7, S2008, iis7, Linux, Ubuntu desk/ser/cloud and of course many variations of DOS. Pretty with many fashions of code and script, sql, my this and that. Networking, VioP, tunnels, yada, yada, yada..
Admin for a leading outdoors related site with over 50,000 active members and 1,000,000 clickable views per month.
Home Media Servers on clocked Pen 4 3.0h or higher is my going hobby right now. Asus or Intel boards and adding art of sorts while placing in the oldest chassis I can find. Old school meets somewhat new.
Geek by Day:
Geek by Night:
Do not have much but the more bling and Cheap Da Betta:
That one is not finished with the make over just yet.
Also huge into console gaming (Xbox) and heading that direction ever so slowly.
Only Apple is iOS v3.0-v4.3~~
Thanks again guys and gals!
Last edit: by Captain Kirk
"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Mick Jagger, Rolling Stones: 1969~Let It Bleed Album
Community saint
"The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play."
"no violence, no hate, no pain, no enemies
just peace, unity, tolerance and love" - The Beloved
OCP V7 | Advocating monetary reform - FreeOurMoney
Need OCP friendly hosting? Look no further:
Web Hosting, Reseller Hosting, and Dedicated Servers w/cPanel - Elief! - Official hosting partner for ocPortal.
Community saint
Aye, welcome aboard Captain!
Take my advice. I'm not using it!
View my working ocPortal site (version 9.x.x) at Anglo-Indian Portal
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Ahead, warp speed…
Community saint
There are too many online users to list.
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text:
Traveling Luck for Camp O-At-Ka, Maine, United States
Where is Camp O-At-Ka?What's around Camp O-At-Ka?
Wikipedia near Camp O-At-Ka
Where to stay near Camp O-At-Ka
The timezone in Camp O-At-Ka is America/Iqaluit
Sunrise at 07:45 and Sunset at 17:11. It's Dark
Latitude. 43.8736°, Longitude. -70.6353°
Weather near Camp O-At-Ka; Report from Fryeburg, Eastern Slopes Regional Airport, ME 34.1km away
Weather :
Temperature: -3°C / 27°F
Wind: 3.5km/h West/Northwest
Cloud: Sky Clear
Weather :
Temperature: -3°C / 27°F
Wind: 3.5km/h West/Northwest
Cloud: Sky Clear
Satellite map around Camp O-At-Ka
Loading map of Camp O-At-Ka and it's surroudings
Geographic features & Photographs around Camp O-At-Ka, in Maine, United States
- cemetery;
- a burial place or ground.
- Lakeside Cemetery (2.4km)
- Fitch Cemetery (2.7km)
- Martin Cemetery (2.7km)
- York Cemetery (4.5km)
- Sanborn Cemetery (5.2km)
- Wiggins Cemetery (5.3km)
- Blake Cemetery (5.5km)
- Fitch Cemetery (5.5km)
- Ward Cemetery (5.8km)
- Sanborn Cemetery (6km)
- Poor Cemetery (6.7km)
- mountain;
- an elevation standing high above the surrounding area with small summit area, steep slopes and local relief of 300m or more.
- Dyke Mountain (2.2km)
- Philip Mountain (3.9km)
- Decker Mountain (4.4km)
- White Mountain (4.5km)
- Peaked Mountain (5.5km)
- Douglas Mountain (5.8km)
- Mariner Mountain (5.9km)
- Webb Rowe Mountain (6.1km)
- Larrabee Mountain (6.4km)
- Dykes Mountain (6.7km)
- populated place;
- a city, town, village, or other agglomeration of buildings where people live and work.
- North Sebago (1.9km)
- East Sebago (2.4km)
- Macs Corner (4.3km)
- Long Beach (4.4km)
- Wards Cove (6.1km)
- Douglas Hill (6.1km)
- North Baldwin (6.3km)
- Sebago Center (6.5km)
- stream;
- a body of running water moving to a lower level in a channel on land.
- Nason Brook (1.3km)
- Bachelder Brook (2.2km)
- Northwest River (2.2km)
- Mill Brook (4.9km)
- Heath Brook (6.5km)
- Heath Brook (6.5km)
- Whitney Brook (6.7km)
- lake;
- a large inland body of standing water.
- Perley Pond (4.7km)
- Rainbow Pond (5.6km)
- Mariner Pond (6.5km)
- Adams Pond (6.6km)
Accommodation around Camp O-At-Ka
- school;
- building(s) where instruction in one or more branches of knowledge takes place.
- Sebago Elementary School (1.9km)
- Larrabee School (5.6km)
- Potter Academy (6.3km)
- island;
- a tract of land, smaller than a continent, surrounded by water at high water.
- Spider Island (2.6km)
- Outer Island (5.5km)
- Inner Island (5.9km)
- cape;
- a land area, more prominent than a point, projecting into the sea and marking a notable change in coastal direction.
- Sanborns Point (1.1km)
- Cox Point (2.1km)
- Wards Point (3.3km)
- reservoir(s);
- an artificial pond or lake.
- Fitch Mill Pond (2.3km)
- Sebago Lake (6.3km)
- Chub Pond (6.9km)
- dam;
- a barrier constructed across a stream to impound water.
- Dam Number One (2.3km)
- Sebago Lake Dam (6.3km)
- Local Feature;
- A Nearby feature worthy of being marked on a map..
- Camp O-At-Ka (0km)
- Hemlock Hills Campground (2.1km)
- ridge(s);
- a long narrow elevation with steep sides, and a more or less continuous crest.
- Saddleback Hills (6.6km)
- administrative division;
- an administrative division of a country, undifferentiated as to administrative level.
- Sebago, Town of (4.2km)
- church;
- a building for public Christian worship.
- Sebago Center Community Church (6.1km)
- bay;
- a coastal indentation between two capes or headlands, larger than a cove but smaller than a gulf.
- Witch Cove (6.6km)
- spring(s);
- a place where ground water flows naturally out of the ground.
- Davis Spring (4.7km)
Wikipedia entries close to
Camp O-At-Ka
- WMTW-Sendemast landmark tower
- Long Lake (Maine) waterbody lake
- WGME-TV landmark landmark
- North Windham, Maine city city o
- Bridgton (CDP), Maine city city o
- Little Falls-South Windham, Maine city city o
- Lake Arrowhead, Maine city city o
- Gorham (CDP), Maine city city o
- Eastern Slopes Regional Airport airport airport
- Oxford (CDP), Maine city city o
- Westbrook, Maine city city o
- Fryeburg (CDP), Maine city city o
- Cumberland Center, Maine city city o
- Mechanic Falls (CDP), Maine city city o
- Samantha Smith
- Auburn/Lewiston Municipal Airport airport airport
Airports close to Camp O-At-Ka
Portland international jetport(PWM), Portland, Usa (42.9km)
Augusta state(AUG), Augusta, Usa (97.8km)
Edward f knapp state(MPV), Montpelier, Usa (186.1km)
Laurence g hanscom fld(BED), Bedford, Usa (194.4km)
General edward lawrence logan international(BOS), Boston, Usa (201.1km)


text:
Linesman pliers are a type of highly versatile combination plier that have serrated grooves in the jaw for gripping with cutting edges at the top of the jaw (or nose), just below the pivoting joint. While most models aren't rated to be shock-resistant, some models have hand grips that are especially insulated and rated to protect against a certain electrical voltage. Both the shock-resistant and non-shock-resistant varieties are popular with electricians, because of the usefulness of the specific combination of the strong grip and cutting edges in their trade. Because of their versatility, they're a popular tool for any trade that requires gripping or wire cutting; linesman pliers are also commonly found in the toolboxes of homeowners and do-it-yourselfers for the same reasons.
Best Linesman Pliers 2017
Table of Contents
Irwin Vice-Grip North American Lineman's Pliers
ProTouch handle
The best linesman pliers are going to have a comfortable handle so you don't get sore during long work hours. At the same time, the handle should have a shape and texture that keeps your hand from slipping during use, which is why the Irwin ProTouch handle is so awesome, because it's not only comfortable—it makes these pliers easier to use.
Induction hardened cutting edge
The Irwin linesman pliers feature an ultra-sharp cutting edge that's induction hardened, which the company touts will keep your edges sharper for a longer period of time.
Machined jaws
The jaws are machined to be stronger and more durable. The nose end features quality serrated grips, so you can bend and grip all day long; meanwhile, the cutting edge located just below the joint is tough and able to tackle any wire cutting task you can throw at it.
Chrome-nickel steel
The jaws are made with chrome-nickel steel, a powerful alloy that is resistant to corrosion and tough enough to handle hard jobs.
What I like
The handle is incredibly comfortable and the grips are great grabbing sheet metal and easily bend whatever you need them to. The cutting edge is amazingly powerful. I had no trouble cutting through steel wire.
What I Don't like
My only note is that these are 9.5 inches, which is great for tackling bigger projects, but it's not so easy to fit them into tight spaces. However, it's not a big deal for me personally, because I do have smaller linesman pliers to suit my needs.
Channellock 369 9-1/2-Inch High Leverage Linesman Plier
Crosshatch grip pattern
The jaw grip has a crosshatch pattern which lends itself to easy gripping even on super flat surfaces like sheet metal.
Knife-and-anvil cutting edges
Channellock designed their linesman pliers with their exclusive knife-and-anvil cutting edges, which they tout as superior to the typical cutting edges found on most linesman pliers. The cutting edges are also laser heat-treated to make them stronger and ensure greater longevity. It seems as though the special attention to the cutting edges has paid off: According to the manufacturer, the cutting edges on the Channellock Linesman Plier can easily cut through piano wire, which is no small feat.
Made with high-carbon steel
High-carbon steel is an especially strong, durable type of steel, so it's no wonder why it's Channellock's material of choice for their linesman pliers.
Xtreme Leverage Technology
Channellock's Xtreme Leverage Technology (XLT) is just what it sounds like: The pliers are specifically designed to yield superior leverage so it's easier to cut and grip heavy-duty materials. The way they achieve this is actually quite simple—they just put the cutting edge closer to the pivot. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best ones.
What I like
The biggest like about the Channellock linesman pliers is the knife-and-anvil cutting edge, as well as the XLT feature. Visibly, you can see the cutting edge is different from most linesman pliers in both basic design as well as the fact the cutting edge is longer, running all the way from the grip end to the rivet at the joint—which is what their Xtreme Leverage Technology is about. All-in-all, I think it does help cutting larger, thicker wires.
What I Don't like
While the cutters are great, the handle kind of makes my hand ache. Also, these handles aren't rated for being shock-resistant, so they don't really offer much for electricians and handymen.
BOSTITCH BTHT74918 Linesman Pliers, 9.5″
The jaws are made of forged carbon steel to provide superior strength and are finished with black-oxide to prevent rusting.
High-leverage pivot
The pivot on the Bostitch linesman pliers is pretty cool, because not only does it take less force to cut, the jaws actually open wider; since a lot of people complain about the jaws not opening wide enough, this is a point in the Bostitch's favor.
Dipped grip handles
The dipped grip handles are designed to be comfortable and prevent your hand from slipping while you're on the job.
9.5-inch linesman pliers
These larger sized pliers are good for tackling bigger projects. It's simple physics; by being larger, they're able to apply more cutting force—it's as easy as that. 9.5-inch linesman pliers are really the best linesman pliers for large jobs, period, because of that simple reason.
What I like
My favorite thing about the Bostitch linesman pliers is how wide the jaw opens. Nothing is more annoying than needing to cut a large wire and then finding your pliers that should be big enough just won't (literally) cut it. The high-leverage pivot, to me, makes these a good option.
What I Don't like
While the sort-of slim handles are easy to maneuver with, they can be a bit uncomfortable after long periods of usage; if you have arthritis, you can essentially multiply that complaint exponentially. But, of course, it is a tradeoff. And for short periods, it should be fine.
My Top Recommendation
For me, the ultimate winner is for top linesman pliers are the Irwin Vice-Grip Lineman's Pliers, 9-1/2″. It was an easy choice to make, because not only do they grip and cut flawlessly, they also have an extremely comfortable handle, which is a big point in their favor, because chances are, you're going to be using it a lot and comfort is always essential in that case.


text:
How to make Mexican Churros
These Mexican fritters are very common at fairs. In my border hometown, the line at this stand is always overwhelming. People wait hours in line just to get a taste of these churros. I have run across several recipes but this is the best one by far. —Delia
- 1 cup water
- 2 1/2 tablespoons white sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 quarts oil for frying
- 1/2 cup white sugar, or to taste
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- A small saucepan
- A tablespoon
- A deep-fryer or deep skillet
- A pastry bag
- Paper towels
- A big plate
- In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine water, 2 1/2 tablespoons sugar, salt and 2 table- spoons vegetable oil. Bring to a boil and remove from heat. Stir in flour until mixture forms a ball.
- Heat oil for frying in deep-fryer or deep skillet to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Pipe strips of dough into hot oil using a pastry bag. Fry until golden; drain on paper towels.
- Combine 1/2 cup sugar and cinnamon. Roll drained churros in cinnamon and sugar mixture.
Preparation time: 10 mins
Cook in: 10 mins
It'll be ready in: 20 mins
Original recipe makes 4 servings.
Editor's Note: We have determined the nutritional value of oil for frying based on a retention value of 10% after cooking. The exact amount may vary depending on cook time and temperature, ingredient density, and the specific type of oil used.
Retrieved from: All Recipes.com


text:
Pure Max 5Favorites [+]
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You can now enjoy this movie on your iPhone®, iPad®, or compatible Smart TV & Android devices.
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DRM-free downloads offer content that is not limited by standard Digital Rights Management (DRM) access technologies. These technologies allow hardware manufacturers, publishers, copyright holders and individuals to limit the usage of digital content.
When you purchase DRM-free downloadable content, that content is available for you to download on any computer and save to a disk whenever you like. You can also download to multiple computers. There is no timeframe associated with your purchase and the content will not expire.
Running Time: 73 minutes
Released: 08/2001
Studio Name: Max Hardcore
Series: Pure Max
Director: Max Hardcore
Description: Cyberdaemon Max Hardcore, the Dark Lord of Porn, plunging into a future full of subhuman fuck-sluts! Hairless twats programmed to perform just for you and the cold steel bot known as Machine Max!
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Results 1 to 3 of 3
Thread: Union Join & Counting
02-19-09, 11:34 #1Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2003
- Location
- england
- Posts
- 95
Unanswered: Union Join & Counting
Hello There!
I have a tricky question (well tricky for me that I would like some help on if possible). I would like to obtain two different quiries from the same table but I cannot seem to make this happen. I tried out using union which ideally looked great but I need to perform a count in the second statement. Is it possible to perform a count in the second statement when one does not exist in the first statement?
Any ideas would be great!
02-19-09, 11:46 #2Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Posts
- 62
If you're using Union (or any of the other set operators), then all the queries have to return the same set of columns.
Other than that, the queries can be anything you like - they're all executed independently, and then the Set operator operated on the result set that the queries return
02-24-09, 15:15 #3Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2003
- Location
- england
- Posts
- 95
Unon Join & Counting
excellent thanks for the reply


text:
Pants | Old Navy {Sold Out} but Solid Black Here & Cobalt Blue Here
There are day's during the warmer months where I just want to wear pants and be more comfortable. These pants as you can see, are very light and airy and loose fitting. They are extremely comfortable and great for keeping cool in. The great thing about these drapey pants is that you can dress them up or down and create any look with them. I chose to go casual but it still looks dressy at the same time.
This print is currently sold out but there is still a black pair available here and a cobalt blue colour here. Definitely give these drapey pants a try, you will love them!


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Most airlines opting to keep fuel surcharge
Despite drop in prices, carriers say fee is needed to offset losses
This reminds me of the federal government. Initially federal income taxes were supposed to be temporary, to help pay for the costs of World War II, but of course, that war ended 56 years ago and we're still paying.
I understand that most of the airlines are losing money, but they should just drop the fuel surcharges and raise the basic ticket price. To me, this is just another example of how airlines gouge passengers on cit pairs where they don't compete with Southwest.
To Delta's credit, at least they only charge $10.00 per one-way ticket as opposed to $20.00 that most of the other airlines charge.
The above article mentions that Southwest is the only major airline that doesn't have a fuel surcharge. What about some of the smaller airlines like jetBlue and Frontier?


text:
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Now is the time to schedule a WordPress Live Online Training class at Web Considerations. Become more comfortable and confident managing your WordPress website in no time and stop wasting time.
With WordPress Live Online Training, we will work you directly and privately in a shared screen environment covering the topics you want to learn. Whether you are a beginner wanting to know the basics or a more advanced user wanting to know more, our online training sessions can help. In some cases, with approved access, we can even log in directly to your site to make your learning even more comfortable.
WordPress Live Online Training
There is nothing for you to install on your computer for training purposes.
Unlike a pre-recorded WordPress video or other training programs, we will answer questions specific to your WordPress needs. By utilizing Join Me software, we will share our screen with you to go over the specific area of WordPress you want to know. As a bonus: during the session, we will be recording the screen as well as all audio. Therefore after the session is completed, you will be provided a copy of the video so that you can review it as many times as you would like.
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In all, FMA strives hard to be Your HOME of Medical Excellence.
We at FMA believe that every person deserves the highest quality health care and access to the latest in health care technology. We pride ourselves on our practice of comprehensive / preventive medicine and on all of its highly skilled, Board Certified physicians and ARNPs.
Our doctors spend extra time with each member/ patient. In fact, we have the lowest patient to doctor ratio in the area. Our doctors see about 20 patients a day, where others see over 35. This low ratio enables our doctors to take the time necessary to properly diagnose and treat their members/ patients.
Our doctors see you at affiliated hospitals, and we have other doctors who work closely with us in the hospital and make themselves available to you to assist during such difficult times. We often appoint a member from our team to be your one-point-contact to ensure quality of care, timeliness of care, quality of communication between the hospital and your doctor and to be a friendly ear if you need one.


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BB16: Caleb Reynolds Lies About Going to West Point
|BB16's Caleb Reynolds lies about his military past
There are groups online who specifically call out guys like this, and once Caleb Reynolds gets out of the Big Brother 16 house he has some explaining to do.
Derrick Levasseur, the police officer in the BB16 house, called Caleb out. He heard Caleb say he went to West Point, a prestigious 4-year military academy, and he started asking questions. Caleb tried saying he went there for 2-years, but it's a 4-year school. Derrick knew what he was talking about, while Caleb clearly did not.
Caught in a HUGE lie, Caleb then tried to play it off like he went to West Point for 2-years then dropped out. Derrick keeps grilling him and in the end Caleb simply laughs it off. Ewww. If you didn't like him before, now you have a damn good reason not to.


text: Boossara is a singer and recording artist from Los Angeles, CA. She began performing vocals on "Elaborate Deception" from The Royal Trap in 2013, and has since gone on to sing numerous theme songs and commercials with Leet Music. Her song "Seasons Of The Wolf" was named Best Song of 2014 by video game review website NVsnow. Outside of Leet Music, she is the front-person for two bands: Mankind Is Obsolete and Alice, and also an accomplished opera singer and actor.