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- Please select a date to see the proper prices!
Description of the accommodation:
Rooms, services Have you never been to France, or are you just looking to repeat a remarkable experience? ibis Orly Chevilly Tram 7 Chevilly-Larue would be pleased to host both you and your family for a stay. The hotel is welcoming all guests in Chevilly-Larue with 101 comfortable rooms to stay in. You may taste delicious, fresh meals in the restaurant of the hotel every day. The bar can be an ideal place for a pleasant evening talk or a meeting. At the hotel you may go online via wireless Internet connection (WiFi). The exact scope of services offered by ibis Orly Chevilly Tram 7 Chevilly-Larue (including those for an extra fee) is available on the information sheet below.
Payment Advance payment by credit card or providing credit card guarantee may be necessary for finalizing the reservation, depending on the chosen date, room and price.
Arrival, opening hours The earliest time to arrive is 12:00, the latest time to leave the rooms is 12:00. You will be able to speak with the personnel in French and English languages.
ibis Orly Chevilly Tram 7 Chevilly-Larue rooms Rooms
- Please select a date to see the proper prices!
Accommodation services
Free WiFi in shared places
Pet friendly, Bar, Elevator
Own restaurant


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Iggy Azalea Hints At An August Release For 'Digital Distortion'
Earlier this year, Iggy Azalea attempted to put the focus back on her music with a series of new tracks off of her sophomore album 'Digital Distortion'.
After a lukewarm reception to 'Team', Iggy went back into the studio to refine her album with the help of Zedd and booked a gig on The X Factor Australia as one of the show's new judges. Then, a serious blow happened in her personal life. It's no surprise that Iggy needed time to sit back and regroup.
It seems like things are back on for the 'Fancy' singer/rapper. When speaking with the Las Vegas Sun about a few gigs she has lined up at Jewel Nightclub this summer, Iggy finally confirmed when we'd get to hear more new music from here.
[I] am playing at Jewel again in [August] and my album will be out then. So I'm sure the second show will include an expanded and newer setlist.
With less than a month away, can we expect a new single anytime soon? Iggy did promise one after her gig on The X-Factor, but then her break up happened. Odds are she has something up her sleeve and it's only a matter of time until we get another dose of Iggy Iggz.
Are you ready for Iggy to jumpstart her 'Digital Distortion'?

subset: commoncrawl


text: Another visit to Valley of Fire State Park We recently traveled to Nevada to visit with my family in Las Vegas. When we pay a visit, we usually stay in Boulder City at Boulder Beach Campground. It's much cheaper to stay out there than in Las Vegas. April 18, 2017PlacesBy Patricia


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Wrought Iron Scroll Wall Decor – Wrought iron wall decor has been used for thousands of years and it will continue via generations ahead mainly for its beauty and longevity. This metal is a renewable and sustainable resource. It may possibly be repeatedly recycled and has advantages from reworking. Scrap from wrought iron can be gathered, reheated and forged again into a solid mass. This produces an iron of a greater top quality. Wrought signifies any metal which is hammered, twisted or bent into a shape.
Decorating with wrought iron decor has turn into a trend . It adds the touch of getting able to bring nature to ones surroundings. The beauty of putting wrought iron pieces is that it can fit nicely in any space of the house. It is accessible in different sizes modest or big and comes in numerous shapes such as round, rectangular, square, oval and abstract designs that have intricate scrolls, swirls and leaves.
Wrought iron also blends nicely with most decors mainly simply because of its neutral color. The colors are usually shades of brown or black. However you can alter wrought iron to compliment your room's decor by adding a coat of paint. You might also discover pieces that are in distressed white and verdigris finishes which are unique and add a diverse dimension to your decor.
Wrought iron wall goods reflect a fine blend of classic designs and contemporary types. It has brought a revolution to our residences in the kind of house decor merchandise. The list of wrought iron products is in no way ending. You just believe of a item and you will uncover it created of wrought iron.
The rates of the wrought iron merchandise are within reach of each and every pocket. The price tag is decided on 3 major elements. The complexity of the design, the variety of welding carried out and the good quality of the wrought iron employed. The high quality of the wrought iron depends on the quantity of slag fibers present in the metal.
Walls can speak and they say a lot. Wall decor should be hung so that the center of the piece is at eye level for the typical size particular person. Relate your wall decor size to the wall size. Select smaller sized pieces for narrow walls and larger functions for large wall spaces. A single huge piece tends to make a statement. It brings concentrate and helps keep away from a cluttered look.
Tall wall plaques or groupings ought to be hung in a vertical line. This will add to the feeling of height in the area. Hanging lengthy pieces in a horizontal line tends to give a calming impact and the illusion of width to a narrow area. You should look for pieces that inspire you and use their themes and colors as the foundation for other space components.
Wrought iron wall hangings can take on a entirely new appear depending on exactly where they are hung. They go nicely with a lot of decorating themes and designs. Very best of all they will never go out of style and they can turn into family members heirlooms and be passed down from generation to generation.
Here are a handful of tips on where some wrought iron pieces would appear wonderful in your residence.
Metal art perform is the most well-liked and a great thought for massive bare walls given that numerous pieces are on the bigger scale and they make a excellent accessory for contemporary or casual designs. For inspirational pieces in bedrooms or little wall regions try wrought iron plaques and indicators. The hallmark of wrought iron plaques is that they show an inspiring word or phrase in an artistic style.
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For expansive walls with higher ceilings or to fill spaces above and about wall tapestries and mirrors use wall candle holders or sconces. These will highlight the places very best and give your space the feel of sophistication and beauty.
For one thing genuinely unique and unexpected mount a grouping of pressed wrought iron squares more than the fire spot and watch the reaction from other individuals. The resolution is to make your home uniquely yours with a fantastic assortment of wrought iron wall decor.
In my master bath I have a wrought iron towel basket that I have mounted to the wall. It is hand crafted with a black powder coated finish. Every single time I step out of the shower and grab a towel it offers me the feel of getting in a luxurious hotel.
For my guest bathroom I acquire a wrought iron wall shelf that I have placed important things amongst the knick knacks. It brings the necessities out in the open for my guests with an sophisticated look and feel to the room.
In my bedroom and guest rooms I have placed wall candle holders on practically every single wall. It compliments the rooms with a dramatic touch and feel of romance. It embellishes the room's comfort while generating a warm ambience of grace and style.
Scattered around my complete house are wrought iron decorative wall hooks. These provide a fast house accessory that adds function with style. I use these hooks to hang kitchen towels, pot holders, keys, bath robes, tiny kitchen and gardening tools and other small hangable objects.
Curtain, drapery and tapestry decorative wrought iron rods are the best finishing touch for your window treatments and art function. They normally demand straightforward assembly but make a striking statement to what they adorn. Make particular you spot wall lighting effectively to enhance these functions.
We are all in search of that perfect piece or whole room that screams out with our character. With the vast selection of wrought iron wall decor offered right now it can't get significantly simpler to accomplish. You also will have that regal, distinguished and sophisticated look you extended for. All you need to do now is begin purchasing.


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A MAN has been arrested over a street assault today.
Police said a 36-year-old man was attacked by two men on Biddick Lane, Washington, at about 11.06am, where he was punched in the face
A 20-year-old was arrested nearby on suspicion of assault. The second man is still being hunted by police.


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Final Jeopardy: 1-5-15 to 1-9-15
Here are the Final Jeopardy questions and answers for the week of January 5, 2015 with links to the full recaps.
Mon, Jan 5 – Correct answers: 1
This European city hosted the northernmost summer games, also the first where Soviet athletes participated. show
Tue, Jan 6: Correct answers: 2 (out of 2 left in FJ)
Meaning "waterless place" this 500,000 sq.-mile area lies in what's called a "rain shadow" of the Himalayas. show
Wed, Jan 7 – Correct answers: 2
In the Red Star in 1976, Capt. Yuri Gavrilov coined this nickname for a U.K. politician who had made a speech against the USSR. show
Thurs, Jan 8 – Correct answers: 2
He said a 2009 exhibit was the 1st time taxpayers' money was used "to hang my pictures up rather than scrape them off." show
Fri, Jan 9 – Correct answers: 2
In 1982, 72 years after his death, he became the first person inducted into the Hall of Famous Missourians. show
This week, there was only one day that everyone got FJ right but only two players were left in it so we can't even call it a triple solve. Once, again we had but two champions the whole week, and one of them was the returning champ from last week, Elliot Yates, who continued to entertain us in the chat segments until Thursday.
Then John Schultz took over Thursday and also won on Friday, so he will be the returning champ next Monday. John is already darned close to what Elliot made in 4 games.
Do you think the Final Jeopardy clues are getting better or worse? Keith Williams has the statistics on that over at The Final Wager.


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Make the Most of Your Stay
Experience the ultimate beach vacation—without leaving the hotel
Supersize the fun (and convenience) with resort-like amenities, including a semi-private beach with volleyball and morning yoga classes, outdoor and indoor pools, hot tub, outdoor movies, and 24/7 fitness and business centers. When you're ready to go out, take advantage of our free shuttle to the Boardwalk, bike rentals, and free onsite parking. Our concierge can assist you with dining reservations, discount tickets for area attractions, tee times, and more.


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Blind Fury Audiobook
Format: Audiobook Author: Lynda La Plante
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A motorway service station on the M1: dimly lit, run down, poorly supervised, flickering lights, dark corners; a favourite stopover for long-distance lorry drivers on their way up north from London. Behind it, a body is found in a ditch, that of a girl barely out of her teens. She appears to have no family, no friends, no connections anywhere. Other girls have gone missing in the vicinity and no o
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Rewards Points PLUS Great Prices - YES! We're proud to give even more back to you and reward all Together Rewards Card members with 5 points for every £1 spent, along with exclusive offers, bonus points promotions, member exclusive gifts and more! Interested? Order a card with your purchase and once you've registered and linked your Card, you'll receive 50 FREE points (worth 50p) and you'll receive Reward Vouchers every 3 months to spend on anything you like in-store and online! Click here to find out how to get your Together Card.


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Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Athena has arrived
I got Athena last night at my LNS. She is kitted up and I'm ready to stitch. I started her last night got her on my scroll bars and started at the center. I'm so excited about this piece, she is so beautiful. I will get progress picture in the near future.
1 comment:
- Jenny said...
Hi Kaye - hope you'll post some progress pics - I really like this pattern and want to see somebodies real progress.
- October 15, 2008 at 4:22 PM
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Huleeya is an Argonian Assassin with information on the Nerevarine cult.
Huleeya resides in the Black Shalk Cornerclub within the Foreign Quarter of Vivec City. He is a member of the Morag Tong and is the rank of Thrall. He is pleased to be treated with much respect in the faction in spite of his low rank. He wishes to one day travel to the Ashlands.[1]
- Huleeya is a Trainer of three skills; Acrobatics, Athletics, and Sneak.
- He also buys and sells tools used for thieving, such as lockpicks and probes.
Vivec InformantsEdit
Huleeya is knowledgable about the Nerevarine cult. During this main quest, he is willing to tell the Nerevarine what he knows after they escort him out of the Black Shalk Cornerclub, where Camonna Tong members are threatening to attack him, and accompany him to Jobasha's Rare Books.
Filthy LizardEdit
The Nerevarine's first meeting with him, in the Black Shalk Cornerclub, will find on the verge of being accosted by three Dunmer (Urven Davor, Favel Gobar, and Ethys Savil. The Nerevarine can attempt to boost these NPCs' dispositions before asking Huleeya to leave with the PC, which will prevent bloodshed. Minor boosts to disposition will suffice, but check the dialog changes regarding the Filthy Lizard option to make sure before asking Huleeya to travel together. Otherwise, the more violent option of fighting them will be automatically triggered, with Huleeya helping the Nerevarine. Killing these three Dunmer, as long as they started the assault, will not result in any disposition drop for Huleeya. Barring any accidental injuries to the club's merchant, Raril Giral or to the two NPCs downstairs, Felvos Droryn and the trainer Hylf the Harrier -- these three will not join in the fight or have disposition drops.
"I am only a low-ranking member. But pauper and commoner do not suffer from war here as they do in the West, thanks to the honored traditions of House War and the Morag Tong. I am an Argonian, yet they treat me with respect. If you are curious, find a copy of "The Black Glove." But please... do not mistake us for the Dark Brotherhood! The Dark Brotherhood is a perversion of ancient Dunmer traditions. They have sold their honor for profit, and are no more than a league of murderers-for-hire."
"Jobasha is a friend of mine, a Khajiit. He owns Jobasha's Rare Books, which has a wide selection of rare and obscure books. He has very passionate moral and political views, which he shares freely. As a result, he and his bookshop arouse strong feelings in some quarters."
"Perhaps some day, yes. For example, I would greatly wish to see the Ashlands and their peoples with my own eyes. But at present, my duties to the Morag Tong do not permit me to travel."
- ↑ Dialogue with Huleeya


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Contact Info / Websites
- Girlspoopdotcom
2005 Submissions
2004 Submissions
2003 Submissions
Popcorn Rally Rated Stars Use your mouse to guide your car into the popcorn. The faster you go the higher your score Sex with Simon Rated Stars Take Simon from the 70's and combine it with sex, and this is what you get. Pill Pong Rated Stars Play a druggy's dream game parody of the classic atari pong.


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Sparrow's Tongue
An outstanding Korean hand-picked sejak tea grown in Hwagae valley made using the tender spring leaves of old semi-wild tea tree stock from Chirisan mountain. It is grown and processed by Dong Cheon for a co-operative of 88 farmers dedicated to traditional methods and natural farming who use no pesticides or artificial fertilisers.
This is Dong Cheon's sejak grade of tea, the second highest grade of tea of the year in the Korean 'jakseol' ('sparrow's tongue') system, which this tea is named after. This year's version is excellent, even by Dong Cheon's high standards, combining some of the best qualities of both Chinese and Japanese green teas. The dry leaf aroma is fresh and vegetal, while the brewed tea is soft and floral with a long-lasting sweetness often found in Long Jing. When brewed at a low temperature the tea also has a meaty, umami flavour and thick, viscous texture similar to that of some shaded Japanese teas.
We strongly recommend brewing this at a low temperature, around 60°C, with a high ratio of leaf/water to bring out the umami and sweetness in the tea.
Note: When these leaves are processed as a black tea they make our Korean Black, and the later summer tea is our Nokcha.
88 Small Farmers, Dong Cheon, Hwagae Valley, Korea
0.5 acres (average)
Camellia Sinensis Sinensis, semi-wild Hadong cultivars. Pan-fired. Sejak grade – Harvested last week of April 2016.
60°C, 4-5g per 100ml. 4 infusions.
We have known and worked with many of our tea farmers for over a decade. It was 13 or 14 years ago that we first met Mr Il-Nam Ha and visited his small farm in Bosong. Since then he has moved the heart of ancient Korea tea culture in Hwagae and Jirishan where he started a factory that processes tea from over 80 small farmers with on average just half an acre each. Like at his previous farm, all the farmers he works with farm without chemicals but unlike his old farm many of the trees are several hundred years old and descended from the first tea trees grown in Korea.
The tea fields are the uniform tea fields usually found in east Asia. They are much more rocky and natural, like some of the planting you find in the Wuyi mountains.
Tea Fields near Chirisan Mountain


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Angel Long & Eva – Filthy Lesbian Taxi Cab Fun
Released: October 13, 2016
Amateurs, Big Ass, Blonde, Brunette, Clips, Euro, FakeHub, HD, Lesbians, PaySites, Reality
You know me, I just can't help myself when a blonde teen like Eva jumps in my cab. we got to talking about her exhibitionist tendencies, and Eva told me she loves sunbathing naked, and didn't mind who saw her when she was doing her thing. Since Eva seemed like such fun, I offered to rub suntan oil all over every inch of her supple body, and help make sure she didn't miss a spot. Before we pulled over in a quiet spot, Eva lifted her top and proved to me she didn't have a single white spot or tan line on her natural breasts…
Do you like this video?


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The MacDuffie Library actively supports the educational goals of The MacDuffie School as it participates in the academic and cultural development of each student. We provide curriculum-linked information and educational resources while promoting students' learning, achievement, and enrichment. The library encourages collaboration within the school community by sharing with teachers best practices for incorporating library study and research skills.
Memberships and Subscriptions
The MacDuffie Library, a member of the Massachusetts Library System, is a comfortable environment for all, encouraging intellectual study, personal discovery, and creative exploration. The library subscribes to the American Library Association's Code of Ethics, the Library Bill of Rights, and the Statement of Freedom to Read, and will conform to the Americans with Disabilities Act.
The library collaborates with the school to establish print and digital collections that meet the needs of the curriculum while offering materials for enrichment. We also offer an appropriate collection of digital resources such as eBooks, research databases, and journals.
Library Usage
We believe in information literacy . Our goal is to assist everyone in gaining the ability to find, generate, evaluate, and apply information as well as to provide instruction on the use of library materials and electronic resources and tools. We insist on copyright guidelines and ethical conduct related to print and electronic intellectual property.
All visitors are encouraged to help maintain the peace of our space, to be considerate of others, and to take care of our facility and resources.
Library Hours
Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, 8am-4:30pm.
Wednesday, 8-1:30pm.
Friday, 8-3:15pm.
Open on selective weekends.


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I am a forensic scientist who specializes in cases involving printing, Is there a source where I can look for precursors to digital type fonts, i.e. designed for Microsoft or Apple? Specifically, I am looking for typeset that was similar to the digital versions of Sylfaen, Old Bookman and Constantia, but that was available to offset lithography typesetters in the early 1990's. Can you help?
An image is attached. It is the main lettering in the company names that I am interested in.
Thank you very much.
Bookman is older than offset
Bookman is older than offset litho, so it probably doesn't matter that -although it's somewhat distinctive- there are some fonts that come close. The other two however are: newer than 1992; and very distinctive, at least given decent repro fidelity.


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Jr. Academy Training - Fall 2016
May 22 - Aug 11
Ages 7-7
Meeting Dates
From May 23, 2016 to Aug 12, 2016
About This Activity
DASC Jr. Academy Training is an instructional soccer program for the player born in 2009 with the same training as the Jr. Academy Team concept except this is a training only program. There will be no games include with this program. This allows the players to sign up for the recreational league and play with their neighborhood teams. These players will have already played in the league and have demonstrated an ability to play at a more advanced level. This is not a program for the 1st time soccer player.
The Jr. Academy Training season will consist of approximately 6 training sessions starting in September.
Deadline for guaranteed placement is June 27, 2016.
Organizer Info
Dakota Alliance Soccer Club


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Early in the 21st century, Russia has heroically gathered its dwindling resources to build Valentina Tereshkova, a space station a mile in diameter. The orbiting space city is outwardly a peaceful Utopian experiment, but intelligence reports raise the ominous possibility that the space colony is actually a weapon built by the last heirs of the Soviet dictators.
When scientist Paula Bryce and agent Lew McCain travel to the station to investigate, they become prisoners in the station's high-tech prison facilities. Escape seems impossible - but if they can't escape, Armageddon is inevitable....
©1987 James P. Hogan (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34590967994716930972017-11-16T10:43:32.907-05:00Sometimes, The Wheel Is On FireNate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-372944751508371292017-10-25T07:07:00.000-04:002017-10-25T07:07:01.615-04:00The Exposition Excavation Expedition
It finally happened: I have completed the first draft of my novel.

Yes, the one with the invisible monkeys. And no, don't try to remember how long it took me.1 The important thing is I finished it; I'd never completed a story over 2,500 words before. So yeah, this is kind of a big deal.
Which means, of course, that it's time for me to sit back, grab a drink, and celebrate! re-write the entire thing.

You heard me.

Okay, maybe it won't be a complete rewrite, but an extreme makeover is certainly in order. There are adverbs and adjectives to excise. Exposition to expunge. A whole stable of overused words (even still, only just that) to extract. So much tell (characters feeling and seeing) to exchange for show.

Not to mention all that's changed since I started this thing. My writing style, for one. My understanding of what makes for good writing, for another. Technology.2 Politics. Hell, one of my characters switched genders 3/4 of the way through the book. Another never reappeared after chapter 7.3

As I wrote, I kept notes in a second document when new ideas surfaced, rather than make the edits right away. Today, that document is nearly 1/4 the length of the book. Sixty-five pages, single spaced. And that's not the worst of it.

Many of the notes are no longer valid. Dozens contradict each other. And I guarantee some will have me wondering what the hell I was talking about. Add in all the research I also have ahead of me—into the Secret Service, police procedure, weaponry—and this rewrite becomes quite the daunting prospect.

But then I think about you. Yes, you.4 Some of you have been waiting years to read about these monkeys. Others are itching for me to finish this damned thing so I'll get back to my next novel, with Captain Interrobang and the other not-so-super superheroes. I can't just sit idly by.

No, I need to sit actively by, and get to work.

It's time to start digging.

1 Certainly don't remember that when I started, there was no such thing as an iPhone.
2 See Footnote 1. I'll need to go Blackberry picking, and remove all such references.
3 No, I don't mean she remained invisible the rest of the way. Though I can see why you might think so.
4 Hi there.
Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-30714006834265312562017-09-15T07:01:00.000-04:002017-09-15T07:01:00.526-04:00Exit, Stage LeftI've been doing too much improv.

It began five and a half years ago, with a single class. Soon I was hitting the improv scene 2-3 times a week, occasionally for 10 hours straight. The only hobby I did more in that span is reading.1 And not to toot my own horn,2 but I'd gotten pretty good.3

Nevertheless, thanks to a mass tryout in May, I learned I'm not good enough to be in any of the local improv groups. (My words, not theirs.)

Which got me thinking. Well, first it got me fretting and stewing and plotting revenge. But then it got me thinking.

Without an outlet to perform for my friends and family, it would be selfish to continue to do so much improv. Not to mention, I've enjoyed it less since the rejection. Thus, I'm stepping away.

But fear not, dear readers! I'm not giving up! Okay, I kind of am, but not really. What you're witnessing here is a shift in priorities. You know all those hours I used to devote to improv? I'll be writing instead. Let me break it down for you:

Less improv = more writing
More writing = more blog posts and finished stories
More blog posts and finished stories = happier readers
Now, I'm no mathologist, but I believe that means less improv equals happier readers. And I'm all for that.

And instead of selfishly entertaining myself (via improv), I'll be selflessly entertaining my friends and family.4 That's a win in my book.5

Besides, it's not like I'm abandoning improv completely. I'll drop in to visit once in a while. And who knows, maybe someday I'll be welcomed into another group. But for now, alas, the love affair is over. I'm running back into the arms of my old mistress, the written word.

It's not you, improv. It's me.
No hard feelings. I wish you all the best.
And hey, I'll see you around.

1 Procrastination doesn't count. It's not a hobby; it's a life choice.
2 Because I don't own one.
3 At improv, that is. Also, at reading.
4 In that order.
5 Which I'm still in the process of writing. Give me a moment to breathe, people; I only switched priorities a couple paragraphs ago.
Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-41356756187825335612017-05-15T07:20:00.000-04:002017-05-15T07:20:00.472-04:00Wild West Haiku Contest: Winners!
I apologize for taking a week to announce the winners of this year's contest, but I was delayed by unexpected circumstances *cough cough laziness cough cough* and I'd better get to it quick since it sounds like I'm coming down with a cold.

First of all, let me say you guys outdid yourselves this year. Picking the winners was tough. A couple brief observations before I get to the winners:

I didn't realize titles on haiku were a thing. As long as the title wasn't required to understand the poem (and thus, a way of sneaking in extra syllables), I allowed it.

I knew movie references would be a thing. But I didn't expect they'd end up completely shut out of the prizes. A couple came close, but in the end, no pop culture references (be they movie or video game) made the cut.

As always, remember my judging is very subjective, but my word is law. Still, make sure to check out all the action-packed entries.

Anyway, let's get to it.

Mention (Not Honorable, Not Dishonorable... Just Mention)

After five stray shots (TomBstone my favorite among them), Scott's sixth rang true:

Apparently all
I know about the wild west
Is from the movies

Honorable Mentions

For me, this one was the most shocking. Not only did my dad (Charles Wilson) provide a serious entry, but it was actually good. He's come a long way from his early entries purposely insulting haiku. And gift cards. (2010, 2011, 2012)

Spaghetti Westerns
were my childhood food and drink
and still nourish me

From Bob Chase, I'm not sure if this one qualifies as humor or horror:

Sleeping on the ground
The fire goes out way too soon
Horse lips touch my lips

I don't know if Billy the Kid ever actually faced off in this style of showdown, but I love the imagery here from Keith A. Simmonds:

Showdown at high noon...
Billy the Kid walks slowly
set to flash his colts

Sam Cook provided this fine one-two combo of great visuals and subtle humor:

The doors swing open
Silence covers the saloon
Piano gets tuned

And Gillian Skow, I think, did the best job of capturing the voice of the wild west, so to speak:

Howdy gunslinger
We don't want no trouble here
Glassware is costly

First Place - Humorous

Sam takes home the Humorous prize for the second straight year with this one. It still makes me chuckle every time I read it. Killer stuff, Sam:

Stop calling me Kid
It's a little demeaning
I'm William the Man

First Place - Traditional

With Betsy Rose's entry, I'm having trouble putting into words why it speaks to me, but luckily I don't need to explain myself. All I need to do is say it wins. And it has.

The land of big sky
Now tamed by small minded men
The West: wild no more.

First Place - Creative

There were too many great haiku not to reward a third this year, and Larysa gave me the best twist on the Wild West theme. Or maybe I just like puns. Either way, she nets a prize.

Big film producer
Directing film called "The Sun."
It's set in the west.

And that brings this year's contest to close. Sam, Betsy, and Larysa, I think I have your email addresses, but just to be sure, please send me a note at email@example.com and I'll get you your winnings.

Thanks again to everyone who entered, shared, tweeted, ridiculed, or hacked my contest. Until next time...

As I do each year,
I will end with a haiku.
This is that haiku.Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-17103591299660507562017-04-25T07:00:00.000-04:002017-05-15T09:16:48.204-04:00Wild West Haiku Contest!
*** The contest has ended. View the winners here. ***

Welcome to my 8th annual haiku contest!

We've previously explored ninja, pirates, robots, space, the ocean, heroes & villains, and science. But now it's time to go a different direction with Wild West haiku!
It's pretty simple:
Write seventeen syllables
And shoot 'em my way.

Simply follow standard haiku structure (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) and have it involve the wild west. However you interpret the theme is entirely up to you.

To enter, write your haiku in the comments section below. Two or three lucky winners will receive the entire Gadsden Purchase $25 Amazon gift cards.

I will be selecting the best haiku in each of two categories:

Humorous/Creative

Traditional (i.e. eloquent, evocative, etc.)

In addition, I may also reward a third entry if I see fit. So, go west, young men and women!

The deadline to submit a haiku is this Sunday, May 7 at 5:00pm (Eastern Time). Official "rules" are below.

Official "Rules":

To enter, post Wild-West-themed haiku in the comments section below. Multiple submissions are allowed, up to a maximum of six (6) entries. If you haven't hit your mark by then, you're out of luck. You won't be given the chance to reload.

Standard haiku rules apply. To qualify, each entry must be a three-line poem, the first line containing exactly 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line 5 syllables. If you miscount, you're nothin' but a goldurn cheat, and you won't see a dime.

The contest is open until Sunday, May 7, 2017 at 5:00pm, Eastern Time. If your entry arrives after the allotted time, you won't have a chance at a prize. That train will have left the station.

Entries must be in English. (i.e. Using Japanese kanji will not help you win for best traditional haiku.) If I can't grasp your meaning, it means you ain't from around here. And we don't take kindly to strangers in these parts. You won't win.

Anonymous entries will not win. If I don't know who you are, you're a stranger. See Rule 4.

Prizes will be awarded in each of two (2) categories: Humorous/Creative and Traditional. A third prize may be awarded if I'm feeling generous. Or if I'm hallucinating from exposure.

First place winners will each receive a $25 Amazon gift card.

An indeterminate number of Honorable Mentions will receive both mention and honor. Not necessarily in that order.

I will act as sole judge, and select the winning haiku based on the aforementioned criteria, as well as other criteria I make up as I go along. All decisions are final, and will not be changed under any circumstances. Unless circumstances change.

NEW RULE (as of May 1): "Wild" can sound like 1 or 2 syllables, depending on how you say it. Sure, the internet says it's 1, but the internet is full of lies. For this contest, "wild" is wild: depending on what you need for your haiku, it can be either 1 or 2 syllables.

Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-64658992366387157552017-03-20T07:01:00.000-04:002017-03-20T07:01:00.209-04:00SPOON!
To start the year off right, I procrastinated for over two months before writing my first blog post. (Yes, I consider this to be a good thing. After all, I have a black belt in procrastination.)1
In the interim, however, I did write a 100-word story containing the words

pry - jet - blue - desert - gnaw

"He sprayed you?"

"With one of those new Jango Fett--sorry, new-fangled jet power washers. Called me impure."

"You should've reported him."

"I did. That's why he chopped down spry moose. My spruce. From my daughter's memorial garden. He said it defiled his yard."

"Wow."

"Prejudice brings out people's shoe trades. Er, true shades."

"Yet, if it's his house..."

"I know. And he had me wino saver. Sign a waiver. When I rented the place from the affluent buck. Dammit. Abluent f--"

"I get it. So, you're here to lodge another complaint?"

"What? No. Biz hottie's in try monk."

This brings my total wins on literary agent Janet Reid's blog to five. I do have an advantage, though: She happens to enjoy clever wordplay, which I've employed in four of my five victories.2

But enough about me. Go check out the other winning entry and all the other finalists, all of which are bucking frilliant.

1 It's not an actual level you can attain, like in martial arts. All it means is sometimes I wear a black belt while procrastinating. Usually because I've chosen to wear black shoes that day. I may rock the socks-and-sandals look, but I'm not entirely devoid of fashion sense.
2 Or three of them, if you don't consider the puns in my first win clever.
Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-19606798169473459252016-12-28T09:24:00.000-05:002016-12-28T09:24:01.728-05:00May the Answers Be With You

I got nine questions this year, which is fitting, since that's exactly how many commandments Moses had on his tablets, more or less.
A couple questions were more about me than Judaism, which isn't entirely kosher — their creation wasn't overseen by a rabbi — but I'll start with those:

Carolyn asks:
What's your favorite part of being Jewish?

For me, the most fulfilling part is being able to act as a sort of unofficial Jewish ambassador, answering all these questions for you fine folk each year.

But if that answer feels like a cop out... I suppose the best traditional part of being Jewish would probably be all the money.
Alex J. Cavanaugh asks:
Do you ever feel left out at Christmastime?

No, I don't. Of course, that may be because I married a Catholic.

So, did I feel left out before I met my wife? No, I didn't. Of course, that may be because I started celebrating the traditional Jewish Christmas (movies and Chinese food) at age 13.

So, did I feel left out before the advent of our Jewish Christmas? No, I didn't. Of course, that may be because my entire childhood was magical and nothing bad ever happened and fa la la la la I can't hear you.

And now we'll get to the seven questions about Judaism, which is a fitting total since it's the exact number of nights in Hanukkah, give or take:

Sam Cook asks:
How do I know if my children are Jewish? I wouldn't want to be presumptuous and assume they aren't just because their parents aren't.

First, look for the horns.

No, but seriously. Look for them. Every Jew has horns. From an early age, we've learned to hide them, disguise them, but they're there.

If you don't see any horns, look for a tail.
Carolyn asks:
Is there a traditional Hannukah meal?

Yes. Yes there is.

The traditional Hannukah meal is made of finely minced potato. It's not as popular as other traditional meals (e.g. corn, oat, happy), which is why it's typically only available this time of year.
Gillian says:
[My daughter's band director said] they couldn't play any traditional Jewish songs, because traditional Jewish music is played in keys that 7th grade band students haven't learned to play yet. Please explain, in terms that the non-Jewish and non-musical among us can comprehend.

Like your car or house keys, keys in music are also used to unlock things. The difference is in what they unlock: emotions. Moods.

In our history, Jews have become extremely familiar with suffering, heartache, and fear, often intertwined with seeds of hope. These feelings are ingrained in our genes (i.e. our JDNA), and thus woven into our music as well. Since most 7th graders have yet to experience such raw emotions, they cannot fully grasp the nuances of traditional Jewish music. Only later in life, once they've unlocked these emotions, will they be able to play with the proper mix of somberness and joy. While standing on a roof.
Denise's Aunt Sharon asks:
So, which day of Hanukkah IS the most important???

The middle one.
Scott asks:
Why do we learn that the Menorah is lit at Hannukkah, when, traditionally, a Hannukiah is used for the holiday? In other words, what are you hiding!!??

We learn this because that's what happens. We light the menorah at Hannukkah.

Think of it this way: Traditionally, the three Magi are pictured riding dromedaries. But we call them camels, because they're a type of camel. It's the same thing with hanukkiahs and menorahs (except the Magi don't ride them).

So, to answer your question about what it is I'm hiding... it's a horrible book, somewhere in your new house.
My sister Naomi asks:
How do Jews celebrate Christmas when it falls on the first day of Chanukah? Is the traditional movie and Chinese food sufficient? Or does the movie need to be Chanukah themed? Are there Sweet and Sour Latkes?

When Christmas falls on the first day of Chanukah, the traditional Jewish manner of celebration does indeed need to be tweaked:

You must wear the socks and/or underwear you received the first night of Chanukah.

To determine who gets the Chinese appetizers, play a game of dreidel.

The movie(s) you see must already have been in the theater for 8 nights.

Oh, but I don't get your last question. Latkes are always sweet and sour. That's why they're always served with apple sausage and sauerkraut.
And finally, John asks:
Why are there two spellings of 'Hannukah/Chanukkah?' Silly question, I know, but I've always wondered about it.

It's not a silly question at all. I may have explained the correct spelling of Hanukkah in my primer years ago, and then later revised my answer, and re-revised it, but now all of those are woefully outdated. You're right to seek a more timely answer.

The reason it can be spelled both 'Hannukah/Chanukkah' and 'Hanukkah/Chanukah' is because Jews have always been way ahead of the game on lax spelling. Long before verbage, supposably, and whatevs were added to the dictionary, we knew this was the route humanity was heading. So we made the spelling of our most well-known holiday flexible. That way goyim such as yourself can never get it wrong.

You're welcome. Obvs.

Thank you all for your questions! I'm glad I could help keep so many of you so well informed! And as always, we'll do this again next Hanukkah... which for all we know may be starting any minute now.Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-66607678077087696412016-12-16T11:33:00.000-05:002016-12-16T11:33:00.178-05:00Keeping Han in Hanukkah

Remember that part in The Empire Strikes Back where Leia tells Han she loves him and he says, "I know"? That's what I want for you. I want — when someone brings up something interesting or profound about Hanukkah or Judaism — that you'll already know it.
With that in mind, it's time for my 7th Annual Jew & A! In other words...

I will answer any question you have about Judaism.

Post any questions you might have about Jews or Judaism in the comments section before Hanukkah begins (i.e. sundown on 12/24), and I will answer them for you.

Perhaps you've always wanted to know what the Jews were really doing in that desert for 40 years. Or how to tell the difference between a regular Jewish American girl and a Princess. Whatever your query, send it my way. Even if it's been asked before, don't let that stop you — much like the Jewish calendar, the answers to such questions are in constant flux.

So, what do you want to know?

The Original Primer and Past Jew & A's:

Uncle Nate's Wholly Unsubstantiated Hanukkah Primer

One Crazy Guy Explains Eight Crazy Nights

Your Chosen Questions About the Chosen People

Judaism's Deepest Secrets Revealed

Jew & A IV: I've Run Out of Clever Titles

What Jew Talkin' About

You've Got a Latke to Learn

Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-33763171726687888612016-11-24T07:13:00.000-05:002016-11-24T07:13:01.422-05:00I'm Full of It
Wherein it = thank. I am full of thank.

Yes, the next four years are going to be scary. When a man who believes in gay conversion therapy is considered the sane one in the bunch, we've got problems. But as worried as I am about the coming Trumpocalypse, more than anything else I am thankful.
For what am I thankful? I'm glad I'm pretending you asked.

Everyone who voted for those turkeys, because without them we wouldn't yet know just how broken our country is, and now we can work to fix it.

My son, because to him I'm the funniest person in the world.

Improv, because sometimes a guy just needs to pretend he's plankton for a while, or to sing of the many benefits of a lost toe.1

Friends and family, because alliteration? Awesome.

Those times when you think you're out of cheese but it turns out you still have some cheese left, because mmm cheese.

Cats and kittens, because they make absolutely fantastic hand warmers during the cold winter months.

Cold winter months, because of what I already said about cats and kittens. Do I have to draw you a diagram?

Epiphany moments, because, I mean, c'mon.

And of course, my lovely wife Denise, because even after all this time, her taste in husbands has not improved one bit.

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

1 You save money on nail polish, for instance. And pedicures. Toe stubbings drop 10%. Plus, now your foot will fit into that dashing prince's glass slipper.Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-1732133010052368782016-11-02T06:54:00.000-04:002017-03-16T21:36:12.778-04:00I Went and Did It Again
Longtime readers hate know that I crave the opportunity to like to show off share my brilliant creations humble stories whenever one knocks the judge's sox off ekes out a contest win. Unsurprisingly Unexpectedly, a few weeks ago I won another much-deserved victory again.
Normally, I'd hype the unfettered creativity of explain the thought process behind my genius winning entry, but today I'll just let you revel in its glory leave you to it.

(Instead needing to work five specific words into the story like in my past wins, the sole requirement this time was to start with the phrase "No questions asked.")

No. Questions Asked: 5
No. Clear Answers Received: 0

Q1- 911. What is the nature of your emergency?
Q2- Understood. What's your location, ma'am?
Q3- I assume you cannot speak freely?
Q4- Are you in immediate danger?
Q5- Last question. Does he have a gun?

A1- No, I don't really have time for a survey.
A2- I thought our landline was on the no-call list, but if there's a prize...
A3- Beats me. Maybe... once a week?
A4- Come now, don't be rude.
A5- That's no defense. She and I always--I've had enough. *click*

No. Vehicles Sent: 3

My prize? Burning Bright by Nicholas Petrie, whose writing rivals my own makes my prose feel small in comparison. It has perhaps the best opening to a novel not written by me I've ever read. If I were you, I'd steal my copy the first moment I look away buy it when it comes out in January.

And of course, you should visit Janet Reid's blog to laugh at all the lesser entries become awed by all the other amazing tales, including one sharing the top honor. Go, right after you reread every single post on my blog now.Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-50359479825973399712016-09-12T07:14:00.000-04:002016-09-12T07:14:24.793-04:00Pictures Or It Didn't HappenThat used to be a thing. Someone would share something they did or witnessed, and then someone else would say, "Pictures or it didn't happen." Basically, calling the story-teller out as a liar. It was a dick move.

Since I don't have photos to illustrate any of this, here's a bunch of stuff that didn't happen over the past couple months. You know, if you're a dick.

I ordered a small dish of ice cream for myself for the first time ever.1

My son learned how to play checkers, chess, Stratego, Sorry!, Catan Junior, and Battleship. He's 5, so he doesn't yet understand the strategy for the first three games, but if you're playing him in any of the others, watch out.2

The imaginary superhero my son named after himself and told stories about for over a year was killed off by his new imaginary superhero.

My brother-in-law wore a dress on stage. Again. (He's not an actor, a cross-dresser, or transgender. He's just a guy who is far too willing to follow scripts I write.)

A squirrel drowned in our pool. It's a small inflatable pool, and the squirrel should have easily stood on its hind paws and clawed its way out. Since it didn't, this was obviously a hit by the Squirrel Mafia.

My son and nephew gained new amazing abilities. They could see a road from the top of a mountain using their far-away vision, the backside of a building from the front using their see-everything vision, and who was behind a door using their x-ray vision. Denise had to keep telling them to stop using that last one in the restrooms.

On my birthday, I took the day off from work for the first time in ten years. I didn't replace a toilet ring like last year's birthday, but I thought about it.

I replaced a toilet ring.3

Over the span of one month, we found 3-4 dozen dead bees in our sunroom (and a few in our kitchen). They each succumbed in a different spot, showed no signs of cat attack, and only twice did we see one alive. These were obviously hits by the Squirrel Mafia.4

Oh yeah, and I took a bunch of pictures.

1 In my defense, the shop's "small" is larger than most places' larges. Their "large" can feed a family of 4 for a week. (Yeah, I still regret not going with the large.)
2 Especially in Battleship. He cheats.
3 Also its innards. Or, if you'd prefer, the toilet's reproductive organs. (Because, you know, those parts are how it reproduces the same flush every time.)
4 Don't even try to say it was the Bee Mafia. Everyone knows there's no such thing. Here in New England, the WASPs have the power.
Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-36730421035560683522016-09-05T23:59:00.000-04:002016-09-06T11:55:22.621-04:00The Best of the Best
In 1st grade, my best friend was a kid named Dave. Halfway through the year, his family moved to another town. I visited once, and never saw him again.
In 3rd grade, my best friend was a kid named Matt. Halfway through the year, his family moved to another town. I visited once, and never saw him again.

After that, I gave up on having a best friend.

Eventually I ventured into adulthood, where best friends weren't as big a deal, probably because of Facebook. I had close friends, good friends, high school & college friends, and volleyball friends, but I stuck to the decision I made when I was 8. No besties.1

And then I met Denise. I've never called her my best friend. Honestly, I've never really considered her to be my best friend, because my brain had wiped the very concept from my perception decades earlier, but yeah, that's what she is.

There are plenty of people who love to tell the world "I married my best friend," but I've never cared much for that sentiment. It's too sappy for my taste. Maybe I'm still jaded from my youth, or maybe I simply don't like sap.2

Nevertheless, today being what it is, I'm going to go ahead and say it. Six years ago today, I married my—no, no, I can't do it. Too damned sappy. Need to boil it down.

Six years ago today, I married the love of my life.

And they lived happily ever after.

There, much better. Sap free, and with a fairy tale ending.

But wait: There's more! For the low, low price of reading the last two footnotes, you can also learn more about my former best friends Matt3 and Dave.4

1 Also, no Super Friends. Marketing teams in the 70s sure made some odd name choices.
2 Not till it's been boiled down into sweet, sweet syrup. Before that, it's just a bitter, sticky residue I can't wash off easily and makes me feel unclean.
3 I never saw Matt again, but 20 years later my dad saw him semi-regularly. Same Masonic lodge.
4 I never saw Dave again, but 20 years later Denise saw him semi-regularly. She dated his older brother.Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-79408938635545700222016-06-27T07:01:00.000-04:002016-06-27T07:01:02.722-04:00A Real-Life Locked Room Mystery
A couple weeks ago, I decide to take the day off to bring my son and his cousin to the aquarium. But as I try to transition the boys from pajamas to clothes after their breakfast, my son steps into the hallway and closes the door on us.
His bedroom door has a lock on it, facing the hallway. We have no idea why. The previous owners had no children, so as best we can figure they enjoyed locking their house guests in at night.

Anyway, it turns out my son hasn't actually locked the door. But as I usher him back into his room, I stupidly tell him not to play with the lock.

I say stupidly, because—well, if you've known any 5-year-old boys, you can guess what happens next. That's right: My son immediately stops playing with the lock and comes into his room to get dressed.

Then my nephew steps into the hallway, turns the lock, and comes back into the room, closing the door behind him.

So yeah, that happened.

Denise had left for work 10 minutes earlier, so there's no one in the house to let us out. My phone is downstairs. The lock's "safety" mechanism — as I'd already discovered weeks earlier with the bathroom door — cannot be popped with a paper clip or wire hanger; it needs to be turned with a tiny screwdriver. A tiny screwdriver I don't have in my son's bedroom. Nor is there anything I can use to remove the hinges.

But. But! It isn't all bad. It's beautiful out, and my son's room faces the front of the house. Joggers pass by every day. Dog walkers, too. At least two families had walked or biked their kids to school the previous morning. And best of all, our neighbors across the street have a small dog, who they let out into the front yard several times a day. Despite our large front yard, certainly I'd be able to get someone's attention, and we'd be rescued in no time.

A half hour in, my nephew hits my son in the nose with a plastic toy. The crying distracts me long enough for the morning's lone jogger to pass the house before I see him.

No kids walk to school that day. No dog walkers. Plenty of vehicles drive by, but all have the windows rolled up or the music too loud to hear me.

After an hour, the boys are deliberately doing things to annoy each other. My back and shoulders ache from leaning out the second-story window waiting to flag someone down. I start to contemplate tying bed sheets together. Problem is, all I have to work with is the single set on the bed, plus a bunch of little kid clothes. Perhaps the material can hold my weight, but my knot-tying ability is highly suspect. No, our situation is not yet dire enough. Maybe when one of them needs to use the potty.

The neighbor on the corner walks to the end of his driveway to get the paper. I yell to him, but we've never met, so I don't know his name. He looks toward our yard, but for some reason doesn't think to look up, through the branches, to where I'm waving frantically from the second floor window. After a second (at most), he shrugs and heads back inside, ignoring my screams beseeching him not to go.

At ninety minutes it feels like it's been four hours. Being stuck in a room with warring boys will do that to you (even if, technically, half of you is outside the window). My son is bored and only wants to go to the aquarium. My nephew, on the other hand, is loving every minute of it. He feels we're having a grand adventure.

A man in a small white sedan drives by, driver-side window open. I call out, "Hi! Hello! Can you help us?!" and barely manage to catch his eye. He slows to a stop in front of the next house down, then puts his car in reverse. He listens to my story with a healthy amount of skepticism, but the kids' faces at the window are enough to convince him I'm not just some nut hanging out of a second-story window.

Okay, maybe he's not fully convinced, but he does agree to enter a stranger's house by the back door (which I'd luckily left unlocked after letting the dog out earlier), get trailed all the way through the house and up the stairs by a dog barking menacingly ("she's loud but friendly," I tell him), and release us back into the wild.

The man (henceforth to be known as "Mike, the Reluctant Savior") then wisely makes his own escape as fast as he can. (Pro tip: Don't stick around after saving a guy trapped in a room in his own house.) Yet before he's even reached the door, my son is sitting by the first-floor closet, getting his shoes on. So we can go to the aquarium right away.

Which is pretty much what we do.

... right after I remember to run back upstairs and close the window. We were moments away from losing a cat.

Epilogue
The lock is now on the inside of the room, where it belongs. Actually, it doesn't belong on the door at all in my opinion, but we haven't yet had the chance to do it in with a sledgehammer buy a new knob.

The kids loved the aquarium. My son would still be there feeding the rays, if he had his way.

Also, he now plays with locks far too often.

Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-69511202522142507412016-06-13T07:11:00.000-04:002016-06-13T09:03:09.516-04:00The Four-Donut Day
Ladies and gentlemen, I am an addict.

From my post's title, you may infer the object of my obsession is donuts.1 Or perhaps you think it's sweets in general.2

But in fact, my craving isn't for a specific category of food. Or rather, it is, but not in the way you think.3
What I'm addicted to is free food. At work.

The free food thing started in college. If an event promised pizza, for instance, I'd hover near the entrance like a vulture, watching for its delivery with an eagle eye, and pounce the moment my prey arrived.4

Note: These were $5 Domino's cheese pizzas. Hardly gourmet fare. What mattered was it was free.

After I entered the workforce, I continued to be among the first comers whenever free food was offered. Eventually I lost that urgency, but somewhere along the way it got replaced by something else. Something worse.

Repeat visits.

Co-workers would bring in a dozen donuts or other pastries for the team, and leave them near (or sometimes on) my desk. They figured putting them within my view made it less likely there'd be any left to bring home at the end of the day.5

Sane people, normal people, might eat one pastry in the morning. Weaker-willed folk might return that afternoon for a second. Me? I'd eat two in the morning, one in the afternoon, plus another for lunch. So yeah, I have no willpower. Yet, I have never consumed more than four donuts in one day.

Thus, the name.

It may have started with donuts, but now this behavior extends to any spread laid out in the common areas. It could be bagels or pizza, cake or fruit salad, pita and/or hummus. Maybe leftover sandwiches from a lunchtime meeting. Or every sample at that Asian culture fair thing a couple weeks back.6

I don't only do this at work — they have those samples at grocery stores and artisan shops, and I usually eat more than my fill at friends' parties7 — but work's where I have the most opportunity. If there's food for the taking, I grab some on the way by. Then again. And again. Until I've had four, I can't stop myself.

Okay, that's a lie. I could stop myself if I wanted to. But why would I want to?

After all, it's free.

1 You'd be wrong.
2 Wrong again.
3 Wow, you're bad at this.
4 This might surprise you, but I'm bad at metaphor. And simile. Also, lacrosse.
5 They figured right. They're better at this than you.
6 At least I think they were promoting Asian culture. I was too busy scarfing all the available deliciousness to pay full attention. But I kind of remember there being maps.
7 I'm also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs.
Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-2984627989821589402016-05-16T07:12:00.000-04:002016-05-16T11:10:41.331-04:00Winners of the Science Haiku Contest!
 It took a week, but I have now judged all the entries to my haiku contest scientifically. By which I mean I studied them under a microscope, heated them to a boil, compared them against a control group of other haiku, and then threw out the results due to bias.
Thanks to everyone who entered! All your haiku (except the one my dad wrote) were such monumental creations that it was tough to pick the winners. So, in the end I let a nicotine-addicted monkey do that for me.

I shall now unveil my findings, soon to be sent off to a scientific journal. Probably the one I keep in the bookcase in my office. (But hey, if you haven't done so already, make sure to check out all the electrifying entries.)

Not Entirely Honorable Mention

My brother-in-law, Tom, may know a thing or two about nuclear energy, but I believe we may disagree on how many syllables it has.

Ernesto P. Santiago had a lovely haiku... that had nothing to do with science. Alas, including a living creature does not make it biology.

And as for Emilia's? She was clearly pandering.

Honorable Mention

I'd accuse Marian Allen of pandering as well, but I'm not sure she knows I have a cat named Schrödinger.

My tuna is gone
And yet it is not eaten.
Damn Schrodinger's cat!

My 5-year-old nephew, Solomon, outdid his mom's 5 entries. (Note: There's not one shred of scientific proof that I have a completely legitimate bias against her poetry.)

Mars: a hot planet
Because of all its red sand
So says Solomon.

Rena's entry recalls one of my fondest memories of high school chemistry (although ours was done with cesium).

Sodium metal
Is serene in glycerin.
Explodes with water

And Sam Cook nearly took a prize with this one, mostly because of all the big words.

The phenomenon
of quantum entanglement
questions everything

First Place - Humorous

Instead, Sam won with this one. Getting popular culture, "science," and one team's 107 years of futility all into 17 syllables? Well done, sir.

Back to the Future
was wrong about time travel.
The Cubs never win.

First Place - Traditional

Keith A. Simmonds not only got some great prose into this entry, but it was also one of the few in which each line could be read as a separate phrase (as traditional haiku do), rather than breaking up a longer phrase to fit the 5-7-5 scheme. That combo netted him the win.

The ozone layer…
a furnace of desires
sears the heart of man

And that will bring my 7th annual haiku contest to a close. Sam and Keith, if you'll please write me at firstname.lastname@example.com, I can send the Amazon gift cards your way.

Thanks again to everyone who entered, shared, and/or re-tweeted this contest! Let's do it all again next year!

One piece of advice
For future haiku contests:
Wear safety goggles.Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-19178057715759088142016-05-02T06:54:00.000-04:002017-04-22T10:19:14.403-04:00Haiku Contest: Science!*** The contest has ended. View the winners. ***

 Congratulations! You've unearthed my 7th annual haiku contest!

We've previously performed experiments on ninja, pirates, robots, space, the ocean, and heroes & villains. But now it's time to document the natural world properly: in the form of science haiku!
Here's how you do it:
Write seventeen syllables.
Eureka! You're done.

Simply follow standard haiku structure (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) and make it have something to do with science. However you interpret the theme is entirely up to you.

To enter, write your haiku in the comments section below. Two or three lucky winners will receive $25 million in gold bullion $25 Amazon gift cards.

I will be selecting the best haiku in each of two categories:

Humorous/Creative

Traditional (i.e. eloquent, evocative, etc.)

In addition, I may also reward a third entry. I won't know for sure until I've completed my findings.

The deadline to submit a haiku is this Saturday, May 7 at 5:00pm (Eastern Time). Official "rules" are below.

Official "Rules":

To enter, post science-themed haiku in the comments section below. Multiple submissions are allowed, but if you submit more than five (5) entries, you'll have introduced too many elements and they will become unstable. Thus, excess entries will be disposed of safely and efficiently.

Standard haiku rules apply. To qualify, each entry must be a three-line poem, the first line containing exactly 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line 5 syllables. If you miscount, your results will not be repeatable. And since I won't be able to repeat it, your entry will not win.

The contest is open until Saturday, May 7, 2016 at 5:00pm, Eastern Time. If your entry arrives after the deadline, I will assume you've failed in your attempt to bend time. Failed experiments are not yet ready for public consumption and will be rendered invalid.

Entries must be in English. (i.e. Using Japanese kanji will not help you win for best traditional haiku.) If, after careful examination, I cannot understand your entry, I will deem it purely theoretical and remove it from consideration.

Anonymous entries will not win. In the sciences, attaching your name gives something credibility. If you can't grasp the gravity of this, your entries will be unceremoniously dropped.

Prizes will be awarded in each of two (2) categories: Humorous/Creative and Traditional. A third prize may be awarded depending on how I react to certain variables.

First place winners will each receive a $25 Amazon gift card.

An indeterminate number of Honorable Mentions will receive both mention and honor. Not necessarily in that order.

I will act as sole judge, and select the winning haiku based on the aforementioned criteria, as well as other criteria I make up as I go along. All decisions are final, and will not be changed under any circumstances. Though they may evolve.

Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-85092605640693432532016-04-27T06:54:00.000-04:002016-04-27T06:54:02.034-04:00The Streaking Writer
Last week, I worked on my novel seven straight days. This may not seem overly impressive — especially considering I wrote a blog post every day in January — but believe me, it is.
The reason is quite simple: I'd never done it before.

Yep, even when I first started writing it years ago during NaNoWriMo,1 and worked on it almost every day for that first month, I never managed seven straight.

Four days? Sure. Five? Piece of cake.2 But the full week has always eluded me.

One factor has been my refusal to begin writing if I have less than an hour to spare. I used to think I couldn't get into a real rhythm otherwise, so anything less would be a waste.

Then last week happened. I only did a full hour two of the days, and on two others I barely wrote for fifteen minutes. Yet each day I made progress in the story, and that sense of accomplishment kept me feeling great throughout the week.

I admit I didn't make much progress, however. Those seven days netted me a scant half a chapter. Then again, it is the final chapter, so perhaps I can cut myself some slack. It takes time to figure out how to tie everything up and complete all the character arcs without it feeling forced.

Besides, you know what they say about slow and steady.3

So I'll keep plugging away. I don't know if I'll go another seven straight anytime soon, but since I'm no longer waiting for that hour-long block of time, I will be writing more often.

And from that, only good things can happen.4

1 If I told you exactly how long ago I started the novel, with you knowing it's not yet finished, you'd be embarrassed for me. And I don't want that. See, I'm doing this for you.
2 That's right, my reward for writing five straight days is a slice of cake. A huge slice of cake. The ensuing sugar hangover renders me pretty much useless on day six.
3 You get last picked at dodge ball.
4 Unless you're one of my characters. Mwahahahaha!
Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-89184834738546367052016-04-18T07:01:00.000-04:002016-04-18T07:01:01.034-04:00Me and My Doppelgänger
This is a little random, but I felt like sharing.

Back in elementary school, around 3rd or 4th grade, my friend Mark started calling me "Mahoney." He said I looked like Officer Mahoney from the Police Academy movies, played by Steve Guttenberg.
Guttenberg was seemingly everywhere in the mid-to-late 80s, starring in two Cocoons, 3 Men and a Baby, four Police Academies, and a stint with Johnny 5. I never thought I looked like him myself. And apparently no one else thought too much of the comparison (or no one else thought too much of the Police Academy movies), since the nickname never caught on. Soon enough, it was forgotten.

Fast forward to my mid-20s. I'm out at a bar with two friends, sitting at a table on the patio. A guy at the next table knocks into my arm, and when he turns to apologize I recognize him. Nick. We'd been classmates from about 5th grade on--friends for a year or two, then acquaintances the rest of the way.

Also, he's plastered.

He tells his friends I'm the smartest guy he's ever known, then starts rambling on about how he's really good at Jeopardy. How he can get many of the answers--only in the first round, though, not in Double Jeopardy, those are way too hard--when he stops mid-sentence, points at me, and yells.

"Steve Guttenberg! You're Steve Guttenberg!"

Yes, he was drunk. But two people picking the same doppelgänger for me fifteen years apart can't just be a coincidence, can it? Nick wasn't there for the nickname conversations. And I looked a bit different at 24 than I did at 9. For one thing, I had a goatee. At that point, to my knowledge, Guttenberg had never sported one.

Fast forward to today. A quick Google image search turns up just such a photograph. And yeah, now I see the resemblance. Hot damn, I am Steve Guttenberg.

There but for a full head of hair go I.

Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-29542300656197936412016-03-31T07:23:00.000-04:002016-03-31T07:23:00.166-04:00Going Once, Going Twice...
What do you know, the old house sold. For real this time and everything. We have a few minor repairs to do, but come the end of April we will have finally attained the American dream.

You know: a single mortgage.
Not only is this great news for our bank accounts, but it's also a boon for my novel. Because without the distraction of the second house, I can now focus more on
spending time with my son
reading the books on my nightstand
creating breathtaking photographs
eating ice cream
painting rooms in the new house
coming up with an April Fools prank
making a dent in my Netflix list
sleeping in
exercising more
avoiding doing the dishes
constructing raised-bed gardens
improving my fantasy baseball team
getting the band back together
watching cat videos
honing my improvisation skills
eating even more ice cream
redesigning my blog
spoiling my wife rotten
trying out more local restaurants
inventing new methods of procrastination
playing board and card games
unpacking boxes remaining from our move
listing a bunch of things and crossing them out
writing.
Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-7899796540574059282016-03-13T10:07:00.000-04:002016-03-13T10:07:57.963-04:00It Was the Best of Times, Etc. Etc.Last Saturday, I did five straight hours of improv. Although, by "straight," I mean "there were short breaks in between." (That's right, I did five there were short breaks in between hours of improv. I'm a very good writer.) It was the most improv I'd done in one stint, but afterward I didn't feel mentally or physically drained. What I felt was confused.

I had fun overall, and some of the sets went really well. But so many of my scenes were slow, dull, and awkward. I did scenes with other improvisers I normally have a strong rapport with, and they dragged. Painfully so.

Most of my ideas went nowhere, and repeatedly improvisers had to jump in from the back line to save things. There were also multiple scenes where I stood there adding absolutely nothing as the action went on around me. For much of the afternoon, I was the most utterly out-of-place and useless I had ever been on an improv stage.

...until the very next night.

On Sunday night my troupe had a performance. And I added not one iota of value. Okay, that's an exaggeration; I added exactly one iota: my very last line got some laughs. But the rest of the time I was on a different wavelength from the other members of my team, and I contributed nothing. Everything I said fell flat. I spent much of our final set hugging the back line, uncompelled to join the fray. I may be a seasoned improviser, but my work that night was bland and unpalatable.

Luckily, the rest of my troupe was too busy putting on a stellar show, so they didn't notice my absence. Or at least, they were kind enough not to say anything about it.

~~~~~

But improv wasn't the only thing going on last weekend. On Saturday, we had six showings at our old house, some no more than 15 minutes apart. Six. Even though it's been on the market since June.

Oh yeah, and we got an offer. (Huzzah!)

We're not in full-on celebration mode yet, of course (Huzzah?!), since we know how the last two went. But we feel pretty good about this one. For one thing, the buyer doesn't have an FHA loan. Perhaps third time will indeed be the charm.

Fingers crossed. And just to be safe, I'm crossing the streams, too.

~~~~~

But improv and realty weren't the only things going on last weekend. I was also, apparently, in the beginning stages of the flu. (Huzzah!) (Which, in retrospect, helps to explain my inept improv performances.)

I've never had a flu shot as an adult, in part because I'd never before gotten the flu, at least as far as I can remember. Well, that streak's toast.

But let me tell you, when it's 80 degrees out in early March in New England, and the sun is beating down on you, and you're wrapping your winter coat more tightly around you and shivering non-stop...

Yeah. Good times.
Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-91915658291564779532016-02-22T07:07:00.000-05:002016-02-22T07:07:02.898-05:00That's the Way the Snow Blows
The snowblower. If you recall, the first time I ever tried using it, it wouldn't start. At the time, I chose not to name the manufacturer or where I purchased it, so as not to disparage a company without cause.
Well, now I know the whole story.

The 7 to 10 days to repair took 13. Of course, they didn't notify me of the delay; I had to call them. And because of the delay, it was another week before I could pick it up. (My neighbor with the pickup truck was out of town.)

The problem, according to the repair center? The unit was overfilled with oil.

I should have guessed. After all, I didn't put a single drop in it.

The snowblower came with oil when I bought it, added by the store's staff. They also loaded it into our SUV on its side, leaking oil into our vehicle. I'm not sure which mistake truly caused the issue, or if it was a tag-team effort. Either way, it's now clear which of the players was the culprit:

Troy-Bilt makes quality snowblowers.

Lowe's staff ruins them.1

1 Yes, I realize our experience may well have been a single, isolated instance. But the above holds true for 100% of the snowblowers I have purchased there, so I stand by my statement.
Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-52699120603841182262016-02-19T07:07:00.000-05:002016-02-19T07:07:01.787-05:00Halfway Down the StairsIn my last post, I recommended two books. Or rather, I said I enjoyed them, which is essentially the same thing. The thing is, I may have overstated my enjoyment, at least for one of them. Oh, and my write-up contained other inaccuracies as well. Let me 'splain.

I hyped both books as the type that would normally cause me to temporarily abandon my secondary book (as I always have two going at a time). But, in retrospect, that was a lie. A more accurate assessment: The Martian begged to be my sole focus. Blackbirds, on the other hand, was just entertaining enough I couldn't bring myself to put it aside.

Mind you, that's not a black mark on Blackbirds. A lesser tale would have been cast aside faster than you can say "post haste." I'm merely saying that, under different circumstances, it still wouldn't have been a one-at-a-time book.1

On to The Martian. I stand by my statement that it's one of the best books I've read, but I should mention it's not one of the best-written books I've read. I mean, it's written well enough, but there is unevenness to the narration (particularly the third-person omniscient sections I referred to last post). And though you suffer with astronaut Mark Watney throughout, you don't get a real sense of his character. The story, like Mark, is focused almost entirely on his survival. Unlike most great books, at its core this one is not about people or relationships. It's about crazy scenarios and clever solutions. And I loved it.

Although, I would've liked an epilogue.

One last thing. I've never been good at keeping track of what I read, but I did want to share a short list of the other books I've loveloveloved this past year. A few others came close, but these are the three that grabbed hold and didn't let go:

What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, Randall Munroe

Red Rising and Golden Son, Pierce Brown2

1 I also spoke of Blackbirds' plot twists. I'm not sure why; thinking back I can't recall any real twists. (Luckily, it didn't need them. Its concept and characters were compelling enough for this humble reader.)
2 Now these two are rife with plot twists. And backstabbing. And backstabbingly good plot twists. (Sure, you may not trust my judgment after my misstatement last time, but don't worry. There's absolutely no chance I'll be recanting these statements in a future post.)3
3 Note: I reserve the right to recant other statements.Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-436604435988043332016-02-15T07:17:00.000-05:002016-02-15T07:17:05.752-05:00Upstairs DownstairsI tend to read two books at once. An upstairs book and a downstairs book. I typically try for different genres, or at least different enough plots the two don't blend together.

Sometimes, one will be so engaging I push the other aside. I'll read the greater book both upstairs and downstairs while the lesser one sits, waiting, till I finish devouring its better. This probably happens a few times a year.

I can't remember the last time I wanted to promote both books to solo status at the same time. But that's what happened this past week. It was like a Mexican standoff. Only, you know, with neither book written in Spanish.

The upstairs book, Blackbirds by Chuck Wendig, was a well-written and entertaining affair. Basic plot: Miriam Black can tell, with one touch, how and when someone will die. But when she meets a person she actually cares about for the first time in ages, she learns she'll be present for his murder in a few weeks' time. From there, things get a little crazy.

Wendig's propensity for profanity and graphically descriptive metaphors may turn some people off, but his intriguing characters and plot twists kept me rapt. I'll be seeking out the next in the series in short order.

The downstairs book, on the other hand, was one of the best I've ever read. When a novel hits all the bestseller lists and gets uber-popular, I always assume it won't live up to the hype. Usually, that's the case. Not so with Andy Weir's The Martian.

Hot damn it's a good book.

Basic plot: An astronaut gets stranded on Mars, and the only way he can survive is by MacGyvering his way out of life-or-death situations left and right. Each peril is entirely plausible, the science employed is legit, and the narrative is punctuated by a stellar sense of humor. The couple third-person omniscient scenes feel a bit heavy-handed, but overall The Martian is a gripping, fantastic story. It's one of only a couple books I read this past year which I utterly loveloveloved. You should read this book.

Of course, now that I've dispensed with each of the above, I need to find a new upstairs book and a new downstairs book. Any suggestions?
Nate Wilsonhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-36355413481121492932016-01-31T22:13:00.000-05:002016-01-31T22:13:39.492-05:00Time to Take Off the Training Wheels
Thirty days ago, I gave myself an ultimatum: Write more. With this in mind, I gave myself the goal of blogging, Facing, and Twitting every day of January. How did I do?

For me, Twitter is like that person whom you get along with well enough, but every conversation is laden with semi-awkward silences because you have nothing in common. Yeah, I made it one week. I also missed three other days later in the month. Not a stellar effort by any means (especially if you take a look at what I had to say), but far better than I thought I'd do. Twitter, I'll see ya when I see ya.

I technically missed one day on Facebook, but that was because I didn't manage a post till midnight. It was before I went to sleep, however, so I'm counting it.

As for here on The Wheel? 31 days, 31 posts. Sure, two were photo collections, and a few others were thrown together just to keep the streak going, but I made it. For much of the month, I didn't feel my posts quite reached my blog's standard level of quality,1 but I began to hit my stride this past week. The stories themselves were merely okay, but the spark had returned. I began to feel good about my posts consistently. And that's exactly what I was hoping to get from this whole endeavor.

So, starting tomorrow, I head back into the word mines.2 That's right, other than the occasional blog post, I'm back to writing about attempted political assassinations and invisible monkeys. I'm closing in on the end of my first draft, after which I get to undertake a major rewrite. It's going to be a lot of work, but to tell you the truth, I'm kind of looking forward to it.3

Wish me luck.

1 As measured by creativity and/or number of footnotes.
2 They're a real thing. Authors head underground for a spell, and resurface with brand new words (if their genre is sci-fi) or brand new combinations of words, hewn from the earth itself.
3 Well, except the part where I have to sort through 70+ pages of (sometimes contradictory) notes I wrote myself. Stupid brain, couldn't you have come up with all these ideas the first time through? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean you're actually stupid. It's an expression. No, really, I didn't mean it. Where are you going? No! No no no! Come back! Please come back! Damn it.Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-37269906953366550702016-01-30T21:14:00.000-05:002016-01-30T21:14:48.833-05:00Three Sides to Every Story

A
man
had no
love for his
neighbor Stan,
but loved Stan's
wife. Then one day,
he learned Stan loved
him. Whereas Stan's wife
only loved Stan; she had no
love for the other man. It was a
conundrum; each of the three loved
one of the others, but for each of them
it was unrequited. They decided the best
strategy was to go on a trip together to see if
the matter might work itself out. And thus, Stan
booked all three onto a cruise in the North Atlantic.
But, just as Stan's wife started to show some affection
for the other man, the entire ship disappeared off the coast
of Bermuda, and was never seen or heard from again. The end.

Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3459096799471693097.post-56769415690520613742016-01-29T22:32:00.000-05:002016-01-30T13:06:49.536-05:00Full Circle

Round about
ten o'clock, the moon joined
the sun in the sky. The parade was in
full swing: jugglers arced balls through the
air, clowns stayed balanced on one wheel each,
and the band circumnavigated the town green as
if it was in orbit around the marble statue of Atlas
at its center. Sol walked the perimeter, holding one
Oreo in each hand, and listened to the church bells
ring. It was as if the whole of the planet had come
out to celebrate today. A Frisbee hung high in the
air, forming a halo with the sun for a moment,
before curving back down to the earth. Sol
thought of his own childhood, parades
in this very same spot. His life
had come full circle.

Nate Wilsonhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com


text:
GraphicRiver Desert Safari Adventures 5286398
Category: Logo Template | Comment: ( 0 )
GraphicRiver Desert Safari Adventures 5286398
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text:
Enough has now been said to show that the habit of flesh-eating, involving as it does the sacrifice of vast tracts of land to the grazing of cattle, and the consequent starving of agriculture, is far too costly to be justified, in the face of an extending civilisation, unless by a much clearer proof of its necessity than any which its advocates have essayed; in fact it only remains possible, on its present large scale, through the temporary use of huge pasture-grounds in remote semi-civilised regions which will not always be available. For pastoralism belongs rightly to another and earlier phase of the world's economics, and as civilisation spreads it becomes more and more an anachronism, as surely as flesh-eating, by a corresponding change, becomes an anachronism in morals. It seems, generally speaking, that the foods which are the costliest in suffering are also the costliest in price, whereas the wholesome and harmless diet to which Nature points us is at once the cheapest and most humane.
(Henry S. Salt, The Logic of Vegetarianism: Essays and Dialogues [London: The Ideal Publishing Union, 1899], 87 [footnote omitted])
24 May 2009
Henry S. Salt (1851-1939) on the Wastefulness of Meat-Eating
Posted by Keith Burgess-Jackson at 6:05 PM


text:
Robinsdale, Minnesota (PressExposure) April 23, 2009 -- Utilizing a specially advanced 'Virtual Lighting' process, Imagic Photo transforms your ordinary, dull, flat looking photos into detailed, rich, glowing, beautiful images.
New Release - Version 7.0 Now you can fine tune your images with Imagic's updated toolbar. Perfect for color correction, fixing under or over exposure, correcting skin tone, reviving faded images, removing unwanted color casts, or adding an artistic flair.
And with the tools set right at your fingertips, it allows you to touch up your pictures on the fly, without having to search through and navigate confusing menus.
Within a matter of seconds, you can make minor color or lighting corrections, or take your photographs to a whole new level.
Key Features of Imagic Photo's toolbar: Lighting: The real magic of Imagic Photo. A specially designed processing algorithm adds studio quality "Virtual Lighting" to your image. Intensity: Allows you to adjust the amount of lighting, whether you want just a hint to an all out light explosion! Exposure: Great for adjusting images that are too dark or too bright, without altering the overall brightness of your image. Brightness: Adjusts the lightness of your image without blowing out the original color detail and levels. Saturation: Adds or removes the color level, while at the same time leaving a slight hint of the original color. Tonal balance: Use for reducing yellow/blue color casts, or creative effects


text:
What is Habitat RestorationRestoration is broadly defined as the act, process, or result of returning a degraded or former habitat to a healthy, self-sustaining condition that resembles as closely as possible its pre-disturbed state.
Key Programs and Projects Restoring HabitatsRecognizing the importance of restoration in the overall toolbox of environmental stewardship, Energy and Environmental Affairs (EEA) developed agency programs and projects or coordinates and partners with other groups on efforts that focus on restoring critical natural habitats. To access more specific information about each, click on links below.
Massachusetts Division of Ecological Restoration
The Division of Ecological Restoration (DER), within the Department of Fish and Game coordinates over 70 ecological restoration projects across the Commonwealth. DER was created in 2009 with the merger of the Riverways and Wetlands Restoration Programs. The mission of the DER is to restore and protect the Commonwealth's rivers, wetlands and watersheds for the benefit of people and the environment.
Anadromous Fish RestorationThis program within the Division of Marine Fisheries has a three-year Anadromous Fish Action Plan that will enhance anadromous fish resources in the embayments and associated watersheds adjacent to the Hubline construction activities.
Aquatic Habitat Restoration Task ForceIn 2007, EEA Secretary Bowles formed the Aquatic Habitat Restoration Task Force which provided recommendations to guide restoration efforts of EEA and its partners.
Bottom Sediment Enhancement ProgramThe goal of this Division of Marine Fisheries project is to enhance key bottom sediments within Massachusetts Bay by building a rocky reef in order to provide habitat that is critical to several life stages of commercially important species.
Eelgrass Restoration ProgramThe eelgrass restoration program, in the Division of Marine Fisheries, is underway in Boston Harbor to provide important shallow water eelgrass habitat to juvenile crustaceans, shellfish, and finfish which commonly inhabit sea grass meadows.
Gulf of Maine Council on the Marine EnvironmentThe Gulf of Maine Council on the Marine Environment was established in 1989 by the Governments of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts to foster cooperative actions within the Gulf watershed.
Lakes and Ponds ProgramThe Lakes and Ponds Program, in the Department of Conservation and Recreation, works with local groups and municipalities to protect, manage, and restore these valuable aquatic resources.
Mass Corporate Wetlands Restoration PartnershipBased on a model of public-private partnerships that is strongly encouraged by EEA, the Massachusetts Corporate Wetlands Restoration Partnership is a non-profit organization that works to generate donations of funds and technical services from private companies that help advance aquatic habitat restoration projects. Donations often serve as critical non-federal match for federal agency restoration grants.
Natural Heritage & Endangered Species ProgramNatural Heritage & Endangered Species Program (NHESP), in the Division of Fisheries and Wildlife, is responsible for the conservation and protection of Massachusetts' biodiversity including the species officially listed as Endangered, Threatened, or of Special Concern under the Massachusetts Endangered Species Act. NHESP operates the Ecological Restoration Program that supports restoration efforts in a variety of habitat types.
Natural Resource Damages Assessment and Restoration (NRD)The Secretary of Energy and Environmental Affairs (EEA) has been designated by the Governor as Trustee for natural resources of the Commonwealth. NRD authority applies to injuries to natural resources managed by or held in trust by the Commonwealth for the public, and generally includes fish, wildlife, threatened and endangered species and their habitats, groundwater, drinking water supplies, lakes, ponds, wetlands, coastal and marine resources, anadromous fisheries, shellfish, and other sensitive resources.


text:
As much as the yearbook staff enjoys a well-developed theme and beautiful page design, people buy the yearbook to look at the pictures.
Most students today have a cell phone with a camera and can take snapshots of the things that they think are important. Instant messaging and social networks make photo sharing simple. Because of this, yearbook photos have to not only be good, they have to be great. They have to be better than what the average person shoots with their digital camera or cell phone.
View this video featuring the elements of photo composition. This is a simple conversation starter to help reinforce the importance of quality images and remind the yearbook staff why people buy the yearbook.


text:
- Name: Lewis Theo
- MMA Record: 0-0-0 (Win-Loss-Draw)
- Nickname:
- Current Streak: N/A
- Age & Date of Birth: N/A
- Last Fight: N/A
- Weight Class: | Last Weigh-In: N/A
- Affiliation: Daves Gym
- Height: N/A | Reach: N/A
- Career Disclosed Earnings: $0 USD
- Born: England
- Fighter Pages:
- Fighting out of: N/A
- Personal Pages:
Tapology Regional Rankings Rankings FAQ
This fighter will become regionally ranked following the completion of their first MMA bout.
Lewis Theo MMA Fight Record
|Amateur Results
|Cancelled Bout
|Jonathan Richardson
|Samurai Fight Night 5
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text: The GUISurfer tool: towards a language independent approach to reverse engineering GUI codeJoão Carlos Silva, Carlos E. Silva, Rui D. Gonçalo, João Saraiva, José Francisco Creissac Freitas de CamposEICS2010Graphical user interfaces (GUIs) are critical components of today's software. Developers are dedicating a larger portion of code to implementing them. Given their increased importance, correctness of GUIs code is becoming essential. This paper describes the latest results in the development of GUISurfer, a tool to reverse engineer the GUI layer of… (More)


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Get certified - Transform your world of work today
See all CSM courses near DublinSee all CSM courses within IE.
Kiran Thakkar, MBA,CST
Date: 25-26 November, 2011
Location: Dublin, Ireland, Ireland
Regular Price: Euro1100 per person
Our two-day Certified ScrumMaster training course (Certification is provided by ScrumAlliance) provides a comprehensive and in-depth training in Scrum theory and practice, taught by a Scrum Alliance Certified Scrum Trainer who is a expertise. This "learning by doing" style of instruction demands your open mind and active participation.
Attendees who are Project Management Institute PMP's are eligible for 14 Professional Development Units.
Short, five-minute exercises and case studies will be scattered throughout the two-day session. Ample material is available for this session, and while all essential information will be covered, time spent on each topic will vary depending on the composition of the class and the interest in particular areas. A more detailed course outline is available at our website.
In order for us to understand the benefits of Scrum and the nuances behind its framework, we begin with the history of agile methods and how relatively new thoughts in software development have brought us to Scrum. "The Art of the Possible" is an opportunity to understand how small changes in behavior can have a large impact on productivity. This also turns our thinking towards new ideas and a willingness to change for the better.
All CSM courses are taught by Trainers approved by the Scrum Alliance. Taking a CSM course, passing the CSM test, and accepting the license agreement designates you as a Certified ScrumMaster, which indicates that you have been introduced to and understand the basic concepts you need to perform as a ScrumMaster or team member on a Scrum team. This course also satisfies two elements of the CSD track: Scrum Introduction and Elective.
Venue:Central Hotel DublinExchequer StreetDublin, Ireland Irelandhttp://www.thakkaragile.comGet Directions
Participants should come prepared with basic knowledge of the Scrum framework. We recommend that, prior to attending this course, participants read the Scrum Guide http://www.scrumalliance.org/resources/598 , "Agile Manifesto and Principles" (www.agilemanifesto.org and www.agilemanifesto.org/principles.html), as well as one of the following books:
• Agile Software Development with Scrum, by Ken Schwaber and Mike Beedle • Agile Project Management with Scrum, by Ken Schwaber
Trainer expect attendees to participate for the full two days of the course.
PMP certified students will earn 14 PDUs for 2-day CSM class.
Call +1 610-564-7659 for possible group discount. You could also get more detail about this course at: www.knowledgehut.com/events/34/CSM/Ireland/workshop_Nov
Contact Trainer at: +1 610-564-7659 (Cell) or email@example.com
This hands-on certification course is appropriate for all software team members, including project managers, team leads, development managers, product managers, architects, developers, testers, as well as executives like CIOs and CTOs.