text:
Buy music for commercial use
It all depends on what we define as "commercial use".
First things first:
I want to buy royalty-free music or jingles to use in commercial projects
If you want to use those songs to add music to an advertisement or other artistic creation or product, we then find two distinct cases according to what you need:
- It is essential that I use famous or commercial songs. Cannot be otherwise!
- I don't care that the songs are too well known, just want to find the ones that best fit my project.
In the first scenario, is necessary to have the explicit permission of the people who wrote the music (composers, lyricists, and publishers) and people who represented and recorded it (artists and record labels).
This means you may have to contact more than one organization just to get permission to use the music and you have to pay a certain amount of money, which is usually a high amount for famous songs.
In the second scenario, things are simpler, since there are many specialized Internet marketplaces where the licensing rights are sold or websites with free songs under creative commons licenses.
You will find different licensing prices depending on the scope of the project in which you're working because it will not be the same to buy a song and use it as background music for a Youtube video channel or to use it as the soundtrack of a movie.
It is important to remember that we cannot simply buy the songs on a CD or download from iTunes, Amazon or Google Play and then use them. We risk our project to be sued by some record label or blocked on sites like Youtube or Facebook.
We took the time to classify the best websites on the Internet to get royalty-free music, which will save us time and money without sacrificing quality:
- AudioJungle: Currently it is one of the favorite marketplaces for artists when it comes the time of creating and polishing many of his professional works. In our opinion, AudioJungle offers songs and sound effects with the highest quality of the entire Internet. Songs can be used by $19 for a standard license and most sound effects cost $1. You can take a look here at the different licenses. The main difference with other websites is the rigorous review process of the new songs that are added daily and the company who owns it (Envato Market) offers other sections such as video effects, Worpdress themes, code scripts, 3D models or stock photographs. In addition, this site has the best search engine through which we can find our songs by simply typing a keyword or mood that interests us.
- Pond5: Although known primarily as a video stock marketplace, Pond5 also offers thousands of high-quality music files. The price, like the previous one, is very reasonable although we found one drawback: it is a bit difficult to navigate between files when compared to the AudioJungle library. We recommend taking a look to see what you can find, there are real gems among so many songs.
- Jamendo: Jamendo was one of the first websites to offer royalty free music. Their search engine is very accurate and you also can add to the search parameters as song length, tempo, genre or instruments used. It also allows downloading free music if you're not going to use it in any commercial project.
- Premium Beat: The songs are carefully chosen and most are of very high quality. All songs are exclusive, so you cannot find them anywhere else. Definitely, a good place to find the appropriate music.
Music Licensing: the actual cost
The cost of the songs always depends on:
- The website through which we buy.
- The length in minutes of the song.
- The size of the audience to which we want to reach.
On the first point, having made a comparative prior analysis between the above, AudioJungle is the one that offers the most competitive prices and the most comprehensive licenses, varying their prices between $ 1 and $ 304 (the latter in case want to use the song in a movie for cinema).
- Standard License: $19
- Broadcasting license for 1 million people: $38
- Mass reproduction license: $76
- Broadcasting license for 10 million people: $152
- Film license: $304
I want to use background music to play at my place
If you want to use background music for your physical business without worrying about paying fees every month, we cannot play famous music but royalty free music and, the easiest way to access it, is to acquire a specific radio license on the platform Jamendo.


text:
Traveling Luck for Kap Savary, Østgrønland, Greenland
Where is Kap Savary?What's around Kap Savary?
Wikipedia near Kap Savary
Where to stay near Kap Savary
Also known as Cape Savary
The timezone in Kap Savary is America/Danmarkshavn
Sunrise at 11:51 and Sunset at 15:14. It's Dark
Latitude. 68.6000°, Longitude. -27.0667°
Satellite map around Kap Savary
Loading map of Kap Savary and it's surroudings
Geographic features & Photographs around Kap Savary, in Østgrønland, Greenland
- cape;
- a land area, more prominent than a point, projecting into the sea and marking a notable change in coastal direction.
- Kap Savary (0km)
- Kap Grivel (7.4km)
- Kap Daussy (10.7km)
- Kap Vedel (25.2km)
- Kap Tupinier (35.4km)
- bay;
- a coastal indentation between two capes or headlands, larger than a cove but smaller than a gulf.
- Savary Fjord (7km)
- Grivel Fjord (21.3km)
- Søkongen Bugt (23.6km)
- Grivel Bugt (26.3km)
- Johan Petersen Bugt (39.1km)
- glacier(s);
- a mass of ice, usually at high latitudes or high elevations, with sufficient thickness to flow away from the source area in lobes, tongues, or masses.
- Sortebræ (32.8km)
- Borggraven (46.5km)
- fjord;
- a long, narrow, steep-walled, deep-water arm of the sea at high latitudes, usually along mountainous coasts.
- Vedel Fjord (38.6km)
- coast;
- a zone of variable width straddling the shoreline.
- Blosseville Kyst (32.2km)
Wikipedia entries close to
Kap Savary
- Gunnbjørn Fjeld mountain k
- Dänemarkstraße waterbody strait

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Glorious songstress FKA Twigs gave literally zero fcks last night when she took to the red carpet at the Met Gala - AKA the most important fashion event of the year - wearing a dress with an embroidered flaccid penis stitched provocatively above the thigh. To be fair, it was Christopher Kane, and the rest of the dress was* covered in illustrations of other parts of the human body (hence all the arms and legs), but you've got to admit it was a ballsy (oh, grow up) move.
Twigs (real name Tahliah Barnett) burst onto the music scene last year with her debut album LP3, her ethereal take on R&B making her one of the buzziest artists of the last year. Her secondary source of fame comes in the form of late 2000's It-boy Robert Pattinson, who reportedly proposed to the 27-year-old after a year of dating this April (said ring can be seen alongside said penis, above).


text:
UPDATE: May 2, 2017
Congressman Pete King (R-NY) Interview – gives us an update (May 2, 2017 )
Still no evidence of collusion between Trump and Russia
Please excuse the crappy quality.
I can't stand it anymore. MSM has gone completely nuts and if you aren't watching the news 24/7 and entire un-edited testimonies, entire un-edited press conferences or entire un-edited interviews, you may not have gotten the memo yet. Brace yourself, because if you watch CNN this is going to come as a huge surprise to you….
Not only is there no evidence of collusion, but this investigation has been happening since at least July of 2016, and nothing has been found. If you don't believe me, then you are welcome to watch the collection of videos that I have included for your viewing pleasure.
(To my knowledge as of May 2, 2017 there is still no evidence that the Trump Team colluded with Russia.)
From the desk of Chris Wallace, Devin Nunes confirms NO COLLUSION BETWEEN "TRUMP WORLD" AND RUSSIANS
Nunes: No Evidence Of Trump-Russia Collusion, Clear Effort To Undermine President Through Leaks
Published on Mar 19, 2017
Nunes: No Evidence Of Trump-Russia Collusion, Clear Effort To Undermine President Through Leaks (March 19, 2017)
Fmr. DNI James Clapper: NO EVIDENCE OF TRUMP-RUSSIA COLLUSION TO MY KNOWLEDGE
Published on Mar 5, 2017
Former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper says that, to his knowledge, there is no evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians. This clip is from Clapper's interview with Chuck Todd on NBC's Meet the Press on March 5, 2017.
Spicer: no collusion between Trump's campaign and Russia
Published on Mar 20, 2017
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said Monday that FBI Director James Comey's appearance on Capitol Hill backed up assertions that there was no collusion between President Donald Trump's campaign and Russia. (March 20)
No Evidence of Trump/Russia collusion but there IS evidence of Obama wiretapping
Published on Mar 6, 2017
BREAKING NEWS ! CNN admit NO collusion with Russia !
Published on Mar 18, 2017
Mark Stein Joins Tucker To Let Every leftist Know… No Evidence Of Trump Russia Collusion
Published on Mar 21, 2017
Mark Stein Joins Tucker To Let Every leftist Know… No Evidence Of Trump Russia Collusion… 3 / 20 / 2017
Published on Mar 18, 2017
Rep. Peter King: I've Seen No Evidence Of Collusion From Trump Campaign | MSNBC
Published on Mar 20, 2017
During an interview with Kasie Hunt, Rep. Peter King said he's seen no evidence of collusion between Trump and Russia – and that "circumstantial evidence" is not enough.
There is no evidence of collusion with Russia The real issue is the unbelievable
Published on Mar 20, 2017
"There is no evidence of collusion with Russia. The real issue is the unbelievable amount of classified information that has been illegally leaked, putting our national security at risk – must get to the bottom of it!" President Donald J Trump
Roger Stone: 'I've had no contacts or collusion' with Russia
Published on Mar 26, 2017
26th March 2017 – Political strategist Roger Stone, longtime friend and adviser to President Trump, doubled down on his defense against allegations that he or others in the Trump campaign may have colluded with Russia in its interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election.
FULL James Comey, Mike Rogers Testify on Wiretapping Russian election interference.
March 20 2017
Streamed live on Mar 20, 2017
FBI Director James Comey speech. WATCH LIVE: House Hearing On Russian Attempts To Interfere. March 20 2017.
FBI Director James Comey expected to testify about Donald Trump's wiretap claims and Russia's election hacking. House Intel Cmte hearing on Russian election interference. House intelligence committee opens hearing on Russian interference. James Comey Testifies Before Congress on Donald Trump: Watch. FBI Director James Comey expected to testify about Donald Trump's wiretap claims and Russia's election hacking. FBI director James Comey expected to reject Donald Trump's wiretapping claims at Congress hearing. FBI Director James Comey speech at 2017. Trump's wiretapping accusation comes to a head at Comey hearing. Trump declares "Fake news" before FBI Director James Comey's. James Comey Testifies On President Trump Wiretapping Claims & Russian . House hearing on Russia's involvement in the 2016 election. Trump declares "Fake news" before FBI Director James Comey's. Comey confirms FBI investigating Russia, Trump ties. Watch Comey testimony at House Russia hearing. M. Rogers. James Comey, Mike Rogers testify before House Intelligence.Live video: James Comey to testify before House Intelligence. Gowdy. Comey: Have no info that supports Trump's wiretapping tweets. 'NO COLLUSION'
White House stands its ground after Russia probe confirmed by Comey. James Comey Russia Hearing: Live Stream Online. Comey: 'No Information' To Back Trump's Claim Obama Wiretapped Him. FBI Director James Comey Testifies to Congress: Here's What You Need To know. Highlights From the House Hearing on Russian Interference in the US Election. FBI Director Comey confirms probe of possible coordination between Kremlin and Trump campaign. The 4 bombshells of James Comey. It's Official: The FBI Is Investigating Trump's Links to Russia. Trump trolled on Twitter as Comey debunks Obama wiretap claim. James Comey, Trump and the Russians: Our view. James Comey's testimony: Live updates. James Comey, who alerted Congress about possible Clinton emails. FBI director James Comey says there is no evidence to support.
And now you have your lying Swamp Rat Schiff, Lies on National Television.DRAIN THE SWAMP!!!
Published on Mar 22, 2017
The top House Intelligence Committee Democrat, Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) dropped a bombshell on Donald Trump by saying there's more than circumstantial evidence against Trump for Russia collusion.
And yes he lied, because everywhere else I'm hearing no collusion with Russia. The new evidence that Devin Nunes found, he stated had nothing to do with Russia. At the time Mr. Schiff did the above interview he had not seen any new evidence to suggest a new conclusion. This was just grandstanding, and a blatant lie to further the Russian collusion narrative.
He has backpedeled since.
BREAKING!! Top Dem On House Intel Committee Just Made A Major Admission! It's All Unraveling Folks!!!
Rep. Adam Schiff: Too early to say Trump campaign colluded with RussiaApril 2, 2017
Democrat Adam Schiff Admits No Evidence of Trump-Russia Collusion April 2, 2017
Rep. Adam Schiff says it's premature to conclude that members of the Trump campaign colluded with the Russian government to interfere in the general election.
Asked by CNN's Jake Tapper whether he can "say definitively that there was collusion" between members of the campaign and Moscow to meddle in the presidential race, the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee said it's too early to tell.
"We can say, conclusively, this is something that needs to be thoroughly investigated," Mr. Schiff said Sunday on CNN's "State of the Union." "But it's way premature to be reaching conclusions."
"We are still at the very early stage of the investigation," he said. "The only thing I can say is that it would be irresponsible for us not to get to the bottom of this."
The California Democrat previously said he had seen "more than circumstantial evidence" to suggest members of the Trump campaign had colluded with Russia to interfere in the presidential race.
"I can tell you that the case is more than that," Mr. Schiff said last month on "State of the Union." "And I can't go into the particulars, but there is more than circumstantial evidence now."
At that time, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes, California Republican, said he wasn't aware of the evidence cited by Mr. Schiff.
Devin Nunes on Surveillance and Russia
Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee joins 'The O'Reilly Factor' to discuss surveillance claims surrounding President Trump – Evidence that had NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA
(But had everything to do with surveillance of the Trump Team. There is also no reason for Devin Nunes to recuse himself from the investigation because he's done nothing wrong.)
The chairman of the House intelligence committee told Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor" Monday that "there was no sneaking around" when he met with the secret source behind his claim that President Trump's associates were caught up in "incidental" surveillance.
"We go to the executive branch at least once or twice a week," Rep. Devin Nunes, R-Calif., told host Bill O'Reilly. "This is not unusual, because there are intelligence products that we don't have access to in the House of Representatives, although we do have the clearances to see them.
"So, we've known about this long before Trump actually sent his famous tweet out about the 'wiretapping' at Trump Tower," Nunes went on. "We've known that there was additional unmasking of Americans' names. We've had sources that have provided that information. And so, what I had to do was that I needed a place that I could actually go and find this information and review it."
The chairman said he did not go to the West Wing or speak to Trump on the day he met his source, and re-emphasized that the information he reviewed "had nothing to do with Russia. That's the key here."
Nunes' confirmation that he met with the source on the White House grounds prompted Democrats to call for him to recuse himself from the committee's ongoing investigation into possible ties between Russian officials and members of Trump's campaign.
Backed by House Speaker Paul Ryan, R-Wis., Nunes struck a defiant tone, telling O'Reilly, "I'm sure the Democrats do want me to quit, because they know that I'm quite effective at getting to the bottom of things."


text:
Hello everyone!I am thinking of joining a bazaar this Christmas and will mostly be selling crocheted accessories. I would appreciate if someone could help me prepare.This is the biggest question in my mind now: How many items should I have on stock?
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
terms of use privacy policy (0.38 sec)


text:
Willows Restaurant and Wedding Chapel is a great place to have your wedding and dinner reception in Honolulu.
Wedding Ministers, Photographers, Video, Makeup & Hair Stylists, Musicians and more!
Monday, July 27, 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015
North Shore Wedding Minister
Rev. Jofrey with John & Colleen on the North Shore.
Music by Jeremy
North Shore.
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)


text:
Use your antibodies-online credentials, if available.
No Products on your Comparison List.
Your basket is empty.
Worldwide Shipping!
Find out more
RSPH9 encodes a protein thought to be a component of the radial spoke head in motile cilia and flagella. Additionally we are shipping RSPH9 Proteins (4) and many more products for this protein.
Showing 10 out of 22 products:
Human Polyclonal RSPH9 Primary Antibody for ICC, IF - ABIN4351302
Narita, Kozuka-Hata, Nonami, Ao-Kondo, Suzuki, Nakamura, Yamakawa, Oyama, Inoue, Takeda: Proteomic analysis of multiple primary cilia reveals a novel mode of ciliary development in mammals. in Biology open 2012
Show all 2 Pubmed References
Mutations in RSPH9 leads to ultrastructural cilia defects and ciliary dyskinesia.
This gene encodes a protein thought to be a component of the radial spoke head in motile cilia and flagella. Mutations in this gene are associated with primary ciliary dyskinesia 12. Alternative splicing results in multiple transcript variants.
radial spoke head protein 9 homolog


text:
Businesses of all types and sizes throughout the United States, Mexico and beyond bring their disputes to Gardere's litigation team and receive practical, responsive, boutique-style attention in return. Our clients have access to the firepower and value of a well-known and highly-regarded Firm's capabilities and interdisciplinary strengths.
Gardere has a national and international energy practice formed around our Energy Industry Team, which is a multidisciplinary group of approximately 80 attorneys with diverse backgrounds, experience and skills specific to the energy industry. Our team includes attorneys who have served as in-house counsel for major energy companies, providing a depth of insight into our clients' needs, issues and concerns. We understand and regularly practice in virtually every sector of the energy, and we represent a wide variety of industry participants from multinational corporations to individuals.
From our offices in the United States and Mexico, our International Practice helps clients operate in today's global economy. We have more than 30 professionals operating as a boutique within an Am Law 200 law firm and are able to provide focused service with the resources of a large firm. We understand that clients who are engaged in the global marketplace need lawyers who can operate seamlessly across multiple jurisdictions. Our international experts are multi-lingual, are culturally fluent and intimately familiar with various legal systems across the world, especially those in Latin America. Whether you need help with commercial transactions, regulatory matters, customs and import regulations, immigration matters, M&A and joint ventures, international disputes, or international tax planning, Gardere's international team is here to assist you.
We represent domestic and foreign private funds in all aspects of fund formation, fund operations, platform and add-on acquisitions, and portfolio company operations. Our team has a reputation for being the go-to-lawyers for private equity funds, hedge funds, venture capital funds and family offices. We are known for our vast deal experience, the efficient way we staff and manage our work, and the way we maintain our relationships. We get deals done with sophisticated, strategic, and practical advice tailored to the needs of our clients.
*Not admitted to practice law.
The Amazon public cloud is the largest in the world and so the recent reports that Amazon hosts more malware than any other cloud provider is not a surprise given all the recent publicity about the rise of malware. The Washington Post reported that the IT security firm Solutionary stated that Amazon had more malware than any other cloud provider as part of its Security Engineering Research Team (SERT) Quarterly Threat Intelligence Report also stated that the "U.S. accounts for 44% of hosted malware" and:
Attackers are leveraging services like Amazon and GoDaddy by either buying services directly or by compromising legitimate domains.
The SERT Report also included these findings:
Given this malware news it should come as no surprise that in LinkedIn's recent lawsuit it alleges that the Amazon cloud is used by mystery hackers for spam and scraping LinkedIn content.
The publications contained in this site do not constitute legal advice. Legal advice can only be given with knowledge of the client's specific facts. By putting these publications on our website we do not intend to create a lawyer-client relationship with the user. Materials may not reflect the most current legal developments, verdicts or settlements. This information should in no way be taken as an indication of future results.
You may use the wildcard symbol (*) as a root expander. A search for "anti*" will find not only "anti", but also "anti-trust", "antique", etc.
Entering two terms together in a search field will behave as though an "OR" is being used. For example, entering "Antique Motorcars" as a Client Name search will find results with either word in the Client Name.
AND and OR may be used in a search. Note: they must be capitalized, e.g., "Project AND Finance."
The + and - sign operators may be used. The + sign indicates that the term immediately following is required, while the - sign indicates to omit results that contain that term. E.g., "+real -estate" says results must have "real" but not "estate".
To perform an exact phrase search, surround your search phrase with quotation marks. For example, "Project Finance".
Searches are not case sensitive.


text:
8 Healthy Vegetables for Juicing on the Juice Diet
- Here Is a List of Some of The Best Vegetables To Use For The Juice Diet
- #1 Peas
- #2 Parsley
- #3 Ginger
- #4 Cabbage
- #5, #6 Celery and Cucumber
- #7 Broccoli
- #8 Sweet Potatoes
- Conclusion
- 15 Signs That Your Body May Be Asking For A Detox
- Results
- Categories
- 1. Question
- Hint
- 2. Question
- Hint
- 3. Question
- 4. Question
- Hint
- 5. Question
- 6. Question
- Hint
- 7. Question
- Hint
- 8. Question
- 9. Question
- 10. Question
- 11. Question
- 12. Question
- Hint
- 13. Question
- 14. Question
- 15. Question
Featured Download
Our delicious 14 juicing recipes for energy boost & detox & fat-burning . Some of our readers used these recipes to lose up to 10lbs in 5 weeks while improving their energy levels
It's 100% Free
The juice diet is one of the best ways to cleanse your body of toxins and lose weight.
It's important, however, to make sure that you get a good variety of vegetables to provide your body with the diverse nutrition that it needs.
There are a few simple rules to making sure that you get a really healthy diet from juicing.
The first thing to remember is to buy organic.
If you are cleansing your body, you don't want to add a bunch of pesticides and herbicides to it.
Secondly, you should try to buy local produce whenever possible. The farther that fruits and vegetables travel the more likely they are to have lost some of their nutrition.
Here Is a List of Some of The Best Vegetables To Use For The Juice Diet
#1 Peas
Not normally on people's list of juice-able veggies, those little green powerhouses can up the nutrition factor of any juice.
They can have a positive effect on celiac disease and irritable bowel syndrome.
#2 Parsley
Not only does parsley add lots of flavors, but it also helps to make the blood more alkaline and can help keep allergies under control.
#3 Ginger
If you want great flavor, ginger is perfect.
It is also a powerhouse of anti-inflammatory compounds that help to reduce the effects of arthritis and other painful disorders.
#4 Cabbage
#5, #6 Celery and Cucumber
#7 Broccoli
#8 Sweet Potatoes
We are going to end this list by telling you all about one of the most nutritious vegetables in the world: the humble sweet potato.
This root vegetable has tons of beta-carotene and is an excellent source of vitamin C, manganese, copper, fiber, B6, potassium, and iron.
They have a strong anti-inflammatory effect, so they can treat lots of modern disorders.
Every juice blend should contain sweet potatoes.
They really are an amazing and easy to find a source of great nutrition.
The juice diet is a great way to cleanse the body, purify the blood, and lose weight.
The most important reason to juice, though, is to be sure to get many fresh, healthy vegetables in your diet.
A diet rich in fresh, organic veggies has been proven to help prevent cancers, reduce illness, and fend off the effects of aging.
It is one of the easiest ways to keep the doctor away and feel really great.
0 of 15 questions completed
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
15 Signs That Your Body May Be Asking For A Detox
Take this quick self-test and put your health in focus!
Start the quiz by hitting the button below!
You have already completed the quiz before. Hence you can not start it again.
Quiz is loading...
You must sign in or sign up to start the quiz.
You have to finish following quiz, to start this quiz:
Time has elapsed
You have reached 0 of 0 points, (0)
You Should Detox Your Body Right Now!!
Here's something that you should check out: Red Smoothie Detox Factor System (affiliate link)
Your Body May Be Asking For A Detox!
Here's something that you should check out: Red Smoothie Detox Factor System (affiliate link)
Great, your body is in perfect condition, keep it up!!
Here's something that we recommend just for you:
√ 3 Very Best Health Benefits of Juicing (and 3 Detox Juicing Recipes)
√ Amazing Juice Drinks for Detoxification, Cleanse and Weight Loss
√ Liver, Kidney and Cardiovascular Health (Detox and Cleanse Tips)
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- Answered
- Review
Question 1 of 15
1. Question
You can't lose weight.
√ Quick Weight Loss Diet Tips
Question 2 of 15
2. Question
You have white or yellow-coated tongue and/or bad breath/bitter taste in the mouth.
Question 3 of 15
3. Question
You have unexplained headaches over the eyes.
Question 4 of 15
4. Question
You catch colds easily.
Question 5 of 15
5. Question
You have acne, rosacea, itchy skin, allergic reactions.
Question 6 of 15
6. Question
You are exhausted, often feel tired, wake up in the morning feeling sluggish.
Question 7 of 15
7. Question
You are a current or former smoker.
Question 8 of 15
8. Question
You have unpleasant body odor/excess sweating.
Question 9 of 15
9. Question
You are experiencing problems in the bedroom.
Question 10 of 15
10. Question
You have brain fog or unable to focus.
Question 11 of 15
11. Question
You have trouble sleeping.
Question 12 of 15
12. Question
You are depressed and/or have some eating disorders.
Question 13 of 15
13. Question
You can't control your sugar and carb cravings.
Question 14 of 15
14. Question
You drink less than 3 glasses of water a day.
Question 15 of 15
15. Question
You have abdominal bloating after eating.


text:
If the Buccaneers have decided what it is they plan to do with running back Doug Martin they aren't saying. At least not publicly.
Neither general manager Jason Licht nor coach Dirk Koetter would hint at their plans during the NFL Scouting Combine last month and they didn't hint at them during the NFL Owners Meetings in Phoenix this week either.
Koetter did, however, reveal one concern he does have regarding Martin and it's tied more to what's left of his four-game suspension for violating the NFL's PED policy than it is his drug dependency issue.
Martin still must serve three games of that four-game suspension and while visiting with reporters at the NFC Coach's Breakfast at the owner's meetings on Wednesday, Koetter said that creates a scheduling problem.
"I'm a Doug Martin fan, but when you know you're not going to have him for three weeks, how do you do the reps?" Koetter asked rhetorically.
It's a good question but if that is really the greatest concern the Bucs have going forward with Martin then it would seem the two parties are back in a pretty good place.
We don't know that for sure, of course, but keep in mind that Martin won't be allowed to be a part of the team for those three weeks so the Bucs will do what all teams do in situations like these and treat it as if Martin is injured.
Now, the bigger question is, how do the Bucs handle the distribution of practice reps in training camp? There, too, this shouldn't be that much of a concern, particularly if the Bucs project Martin as their lead back.
If that's the case then they can give Martin his usual workload and give a few more reps to the second and third backs on the depth chart, with those on the back end suffering the loss.
That's how the reps usually go anyway, and something to keep in mind here is that the Bucs have never made much use of Martin during the preseason anyway, especially during games.
So yes, there is math problem to be worked out here, but it's hard to imagine the Bucs will let Martin go simply because they're a little unsure of how to dole out the reps in offseason workouts and training camp.
If that proves to be the case, then you can probably bet that a decision what to do with Martin was made weeks ago and that they never really had any intentions of bringing him back in the first place.


text:
Release Date: May 6, 2011 (limited)
On DVD/VOD: August 16, 2011
1h 49m | Drama
The Bang Bang Club was the name given to four young photographers, Greg Marinovich (Ryan Phillippe), Kevin Carter (Taylor Kitsch), Ken Oosterbroek (Frank Rautenbach) and Joao Silva (Neels Van Jaarsveld), whose photographs captured the final bloody days of white rule in South Africa and the final demise of apartheid. The film tells the remarkable and sometimes harrowing story of these young menand the extraordinary extremes they went to in order to capture their pictures.
Canadian Connection: A Canadian/South African co-production. Actor Taylor Kitsch was born and raised in British Columbia.
|Steven Silver
|Foundry Films
|Adam Friedlander, Daniel Iron, Lance Samuels
|Ryan Phillippe, Taylor Kitsch, Frank Rautenbach, Neels Van Jaarsveld, Malin Akerman
|Steven Silver
|The Bang Bang Club
|Official Site:


text:
Fresno State at Boise State - 10/17/14 CFB PIck, Odds, Prediction
Fresno State Bulldogs (3-4) at Boise State Broncos (4-2)
College Football: Friday
The Line: Boise State Broncos -17.5 -- Over/Under: 63 See the Latest Odds
The Fresno State Bulldogs and Boise State Broncos play Friday night at Bronco Stadium.
The Fresno State Bulldogs have won three of their last four games but three of their four losses have come on the road. Fresno State relies heavily on its offense that has produced 24 or more points in five of its last six games. Brian Burrell is completing 56.9 percent of his passes for 11 touchdowns and six interceptions, and he's coming off a three-touchdown performance. Burrell also has 238 rushing yards and two scores. Marteze Waller is the workhorse for Fresno State, as he leads the Bulldogs with 661 rushing yards and has scored in three of his last four games. Josh Harper has 47 of Fresno State's 161 receptions, and the Bulldogs are 11-3 SU in their last 14 games when he catches a touchdown pass. Defensively, the Fresno State Bulldogs allow 35.6 points, 469.9 yards, and they've forced nine turnovers and 15 sacks. Kyrie Wilson leads Fresno State with 56 tackles and Ejiro Ederaine has six tackles for loss.
USA TODAY Sports
The Boise State Broncos hope to remain undefeated at home and get one step closer towards a bowl appearance. Thanks to running back Jay Ajayi and quarterback Grant Hedrick, Boise State has found its offensive rhythm as the players have combined for more than 900 rushing yards and 10 touchdowns. The running ability has opened up the pass, as Hedrick is completing 72.1 percent of his passes for seven touchdowns and 10 interceptions. There is a cause for concern with five of those interceptions coming in Hedrick's last two games. Shane Williams-Rhodes has caught a touchdown in back-to-back games and is the go-to guy with Matt Miller out for the season. Defensively, the Boise State Broncos are allowing 27.2 points, 374.7 yards, and they've forced 16 turnovers and 17 sacks. Tanner Vallejo leads Boise State with 38 tackles and Beau Martin has nine tackles for loss.
The Bulldogs are 5-2 ATS in their last 7 conference games and 1-5 ATS in their last 6 road games. The Broncos are 5-2 ATS vs. a team with a losing record and 4-1 ATS in their last 5 games overall. The Bulldogs are 1-12 ATS in their last 13 meetings.
I know that Boise State has owned Fresno State over the years, but this line may be a slight overreaction. Boise State hasn't exactly been crushing teams this season and the Bulldogs have enough offensive firepower to at least hang around. I don't love this matchup but if forced, I'd take the points.


text:
business 'must take lead'January 2001
Four in five of the international businesses listed on the London Stock Exchange are doing 'little or nothing' to reduce global warming emissions, according to preliminary returns of Business in the Environment's (BiE) annual survey for the Index of Corporate Environmental Engagement.
More than eighty per cent of those responding to the survey had either set no reduction targets at all, or targets which were unspecified or 'very low', said researchers.
BiE has now appealed to businesses 'to take immediate action to reduce global warming emissions' rather than wait for governmental targets which – in the light of the failed talks at the recent Hague climate change convention – may take a long time to appear.
Despite what it calls the 'poor showing' by the majority of companies that have completed the survey, BiE says there are examples of businesses setting 'inspirational' targets – including one transport company committed to a 30 per cent improvement in fuel efficiency by 2010, compared with 1990.
Already a member? click here to login


text:
The Caring Ambassadors Program has established specific programs to help people struggling with life-threatening illnesses to obtain the support, help, and information they need.
Hepatitis C is the leading cause of liver cancer in the US.
Are you Viral?
Get Tested. Get Cured.
Empowers individuals diagnosed with a serious health condition to chart the course of their own health and survival.
Caring Ambassadors Program, Inc. | P.O. Box 1748 | Oregon City, OR 97045 | 503-632-9032
DISCLAIMER | Copyright 2016 © Caring Ambassadors Program, Inc. | Site design by Common Good Communications


text: Dear We married 12 years ago and till now we do not have kids. Both of us had gone full check up but there are no problems on both side. Doctor says that pray to GOD. But now we are willing to adopt a Muslim baby. We reside in Delhi and much capable to all parental duties. I need baby not older than 6 months. Any one who is ready to help, let us know on our email id [email]firstname.lastname@example.com[/email]


text:
Pop the Question Contest Entry
Title: The One and Only
Word Count: 4,118
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Rating: E for Every one (T)
Summary: Before the Internet, before Skype, could someone you loved and set free really still be yours?
Warnings: N/A
The One and Only
At a summer camp, deep in the North Woods...
The moon was providing the perfect illumination for the paths between the cabins and campsites. The pair stole a quiet moment and a kiss before their appropriated paths diverged that night, knowing that afterwards, they would find their way back to each other.
The girls in the Marseilles cabin were bouncing in their beds. It was an honor to be first cabin, and they squealed as they spoke. Le Pierre-toute propre would arrive and tell them their light-out tale. Several of the girls had heard the histoire in years before, and guaranteed it would be better than a small piece of candy, which was the other prize option.
Genevieve and Angelique, their Gides, reminded the girls that they could ask for the tale in English, and both crossed their fingers that they would. All that translating this late in the evening on the first day would spoil their own enjoyment. They, too, loved hearing the story.
It took only moments after his arrival to settle the girls onto the rug in the center of the cabin. Their eager faces shone in the lamplight. Jane, the smallest of the first time campers, was chosen to ask for the story.
"Monsieur Pierre-toute-Propre, Voulez vous racontez le histoire de la grande question?"
Pierre nodded and smiled as he spoke. "Bien fait, bien. Oui. Je veux." Spreading his arms to encompass the circle, he continued. "In English tonight."
Edward eyed the circle of bright eyes. A few had been here before, but he wasn't going to change a word.
For some reason, this story seems to very popular. It's the one and only that I am asked to tell again and again, and I am happy to bring it to you. To understand, you must come back with me, to a time and a place where there were no iPod's, or even cell phones.
This always brought little gasps, and one small voice piped up, how did you survive? He knew the next phrase would elicit a groan or two, but it would not stop him. It was all we knew then; it was almost a galaxy far, far away.
As he spoke, he lost himself in his own memories: his first sight of her on campus. He continued with the tale.
I was a sophomore student, far from my home, in college. I stood with friends in the line for lunch when she almost fell right into my arms. She was trying to read, hold a pile of books, and walk downstairs all at the same time. Her purse strap caught on the stair rail, and she righted herself. She'd blushed and scurried away. It was with great surprise one of my other friends had brought her over to our table in the cafeteria. She didn't say much that first day, "I'm Bella, from Chicago." just her name and where she was from.
He told the girls how he'd see her on campus, a freshman with a silly placard on her neck that first week, proclaiming her status and informing every one of her list of initiation tasks to be completed. Even that first week, watching her get initials on her card, especially from the upperclassmen, made him a little jealous. It had struck him as odd then, as he was supposed to be still thrilled with his summer romance in Paris, Tanya.
In the next weeks, I'd learned she was also a French major, and that she had a sort of sweetheart at home. So, we'll be friendly? I was friendly with a lot of guys and girls?...Right. I can do friendly.
A few nights later, we had our first meeting of the French Association for the year. We had to get a lot done that night, organized for the year, and our big fundraiser was coming up at the homecoming fair. Tradition stated that the seniors would take charge, but all they did was sit there, discussing how much they missed France.
It had been too much for Bella. She groaned after fifteen minutes, standing up and walking to the chalkboard. She cleared her throat declaring, "Hey, I don't know about anyone else here?" With that statement, she gave me a long, hard, 'but what?' look, and one to Emmett, who was seated at the other end of the couch. Our poses mirrored each other, and we were both wearing jeans and tee shirts, our new beards framing our chins. I'd not known it them, but she wasn't sure who was who.
"Look." Bella put her hands on her hips and continued. "I have to study, so I won't say what we should do or who should do it, but I'll organize the information up here."
There was a long look between her and Dr. McCauley, our faculty advisor, our French professor, and my personal advisor, and I watched Bella mouth the words 'Si Vous Plait, Roberts Rules of Order.' Dr. McCauley nodded back.
That little frosh with red in her hair whipped us into shape. In under an hour we were organized and had planned to hold a second party for Mardi-Gras. I wanted to take her to that party, and then my heart stopped a little. I was supposed to have a girl in Paris, and she was supposed to have a guy in Chicago...right?
Still, our paths kept crossing. We ended up in one class together, lunches and occasional dinners in the cafe. I remembered the night she plopped her tray down and gave me a huge smile.
"Edward. Y, your name is Edward." She beamed as she spoke. "I'm so sorry I couldn't figure out who was Edward and who was Emmett. You both dress similarly, I always seem to see you together and oh, today Emmett came out of Rosalie and Alice's room!" She happily exclaimed that I was so often with Emmett on campus that she'd never gotten it straight. That night at supper, the light had gone right out of her eyes as someone mentioned homecoming. I learned that her guy was supposed to be coming out for the dance. So?I was her friend. Still I avoided her that whole weekend. I didn't want to see them together. At the same time, I realized I'd been a jerk to a lot of ladies last year. I was getting fed my just deserts by Tanya as well. I'd realized I'd been just a summer fling to her.
The weeks went by and I'd found myself at the movies with Bella more than once. She'd linked arms with me and dragged me with another friend to a movie off campus, and then to the pre-Halloween special presentation of Love at First Bite.Bella mentioned how much she'd like to see me in a tux. I'd scoffed at that. I hadn't even worn one to my prom, still, maybe. No, no girl was worth that hassle. Little did I know then that someday I would eat that thought, and pick out all the formal wear for our entire party.
I continued to relay the tale, as the memories played like movies in my mind. It was a few days later when she asked me to accompany her to her floor's Halloween party. My dorm floor was 'brother' floor to hers. She'd opened the door to her room, in a little costume with a few of her dorm sisters. She wore high heels, a sparkly top, and a tiny skirt. She'd called it a Can Can dancer outfit. It was too much for me. She was too cute. It hurt too much to think she was someone else's girl. I walked her to the party off campus, but I left early, slipping out when she was off talking to some girls from another dorm. That night, I didn't know what she was hoping. I didn't know she was breaking up with Jacob. She'd ended up walking home, alone, crying. She didn't speak to me for a few days after that. Thanksgiving was a long weekend. I'd gone home, and the entire time all I could do was wonder what she was doing in Chicago. It dawned on me that trip that she had taken down his picture from her room. Just maybe, there was hope.
December on campus meant final exams for the term. There was one big event before we all hunkered down with our books. I hadn't even dared to ask her to the Christmas dance. I just hoped she'd be there. I anxiously walked over to the student union.
Just inside the doors to the hall, I saw her standing alone. She was sporting a brilliant blue Chinese jacket, those heels and skirt, and a snug, low cut top. I tapped on her shoulder and her eyes shone when she saw me. I stood beside her as we listened to the WORST off key rendition of a Beatles' song we'd ever heard. Usually the campus bands were great. This was actually a blessing. Her roommate was out of town. I took her hand as we strolled across campus. It was the first time I'd felt her bare skin. It felt so right at last. We could go back to her room and talk…
We dropped hands awkwardly, taking spots across the room from each other. That night as we spoke, each time we made each other smile or laugh, we moved closer and closer. It was almost inch-by-inch. I finally stood in the middle of the room and beckoned her with my finger. She closed the gap and I pulled her into my arms. I'd felt something when our hands finally touched again. Our lips met and I was gone. I was home. It was warm and sweet. Soft pecks of strawberry as I heard her moan my name softly as her lips parted. I bent her back just so slightly, deepening the kiss as…
Bells rang. They really rang, and then sirens blew and lights flashed. Bella shook in my arms, her eyes squeezed shut and as the noises continued on they flew open. The sound wasn't in our imagination. This was an older dorm, and fire alarms were sensitive and never to be ignored. We rushed to the exit without our coats so I'd stood outside her dorm, with my arms wrapped around her to ward of the December chill to the amazement of the rest of the campus. The dance had just ended and most of the rest of the student body was walking by her dormitory. No grand announcement would be necessary. The guys would quip that the little thing from Chicago had tamed bad boy Cullen. The girls would groan and only see the broken heart that was sure to come. He'd loved and left before. He'd do it again. He'd be gone for next year, his entire junior year.
The rest of the year was a happy blur for the most part. I got to bring Bella on her first plane trip. After meeting her family, we flew to mine for the rest of the break. She knew I was set for my junior year abroad. We didn't talk much even about just the summer break.
At the end of the term I had to leave before her parents came to pick her up. I was going to live at home in Seattle and work for the summer to save up for junior year. She was also going home after a week in Washington, D.C. Her high school French was too weak to complete her major, so she'd tried out a short pre-law seminar. Maybe she could study in Paris next year, but that was a big if.
She'd pressed a thick envelope into my hand before I left with my dad. She'd put it in my hands through the window of his truck and ran off before I could say anything,
It was her class ring. She wanted me to have it, no matter what happened.
It was a long, hard summer. I'd worked two jobs to cover my costs for the next year, and Bella was doing the same in Chicago. Back then long distance phone calls were really expensive. I'd written a few times in my spare moments and we'd call each other late at night, but not every week.
I'd finally saved up enough to chance taking a few days off. Bella drove out with a friend, Alice. I'd convinced my chum since 6th grade, Jasper, to be my wingman that weekend. It worked like a charm. It meant I had plenty of alone time with Bella when my parents or siblings weren't after her.
Too soon, they had to head back, I went back to my seventy hour a week grind, and then school started for the fall. I would fly out the last week in September, from Chicago. Bella would bring me to the airport. I'd meet her on campus, as classes for her had already begun.
I was stupid that first night. I went out drinking with all of my campus buddies, and at one point didn't even realize Bella, Rosalie and Alice had left the bar and gone to another. My head was swimming the next morning as Bella barged around her room, muttering under her breath. It really hit me that morning as my head spun and ached, but was nothing compared to the pain in my heart.
I'm flying out in two days. I won't be able to see or call Bella for months. I'm going to be alone.
Almost all the excitement for my junior year leaked out of the burst bubble of my mind. Somehow, I had to let her know how much she meant to me, that she was my one and only, the only one I wanted to come back to. I talked more of our future than of what was around the corner. I'd say things like, when we have our own place, or when we take our kids to….
That though had sobered me up like a cold douse on a hot football field. I'd waited for a shocked look on Bella's face, or a verbal reaction - something, anything? All I got was a sly smile and an apology for banging every door and drawer in her room as she readied for the drive to Chicago. Alice was coming; she needed to shop, and she whispered to me while Bella was filling the car with gas that she was sure Bella would need someone to drive her back to campus. Only years later I would learn how right her prediction was.
Everything came crashing down as her dad drove the four of us to O'Hare Airport. Back then; there was already a point for international departures that looked like an impenetrable wall. On it was written, in every language conceivable, in large, bright letters, the words for goodbye.
It was the end. After her dad had taken dozens of photographs, as was his habit, she'd pushed him and Alice toward the exit to the parking ramp, finally standing with me, alone, before the wall. After I'd walk around it, I would not know when I would see her, touch her, hold and kiss her again. We held on to each other like it was the last moment on earth. Whispering I love you to each other. She broke the kiss, first resting her head against my chest and then held me out from her, just inches from her face. She blinked and tried to put resolve in her voice and eyes as she spoke.
"A year is a long time, Edward. It's the year you've been dreaming of, the highlight of your major. France. I can't hold you to anything, Edward. I know. I've heard. You know where I'll be. Like they say, if you love something, set it free. Have a great, wonderful year. No matter what. Go!."
She'd kissed my cheek one last time and pushed me off as she ran. I darted around the barrier before my own courage failed me. She was letting me go. No, she was setting me free, but not herself. She'd heard all the stories, knew my sordid past, and loved me enough to accept what ever came next. She didn't know that she, my Bella, was the only next I was interested in.
France and junior year abroad were amazing, no doubt there. It was hard work, but at least once a day I found time to write a letter to my heart. Some days, I wrote two. Our letters crossed the Atlantic again and again. There was no email, no Skype for me to see her face, no cell phone for a quick text, and a real phone call was about $25 dollars, like what $75 would be today for five minutes on the phone.
Christmas was lonely on both sides of the Atlantic. My present to her arrived late and I waited and ate her cookies and my favorite, Doritos, on New Years. Finally in the spring, she got word of her acceptance into the semester abroad in Paris. She would be in France on May 1st.
I was in the south of France, eleven hours away. By hook or by crook, I was going to find a way to get to Paris.
In our letters, we'd talked of everyday things, of food and friends and yes, of love. No matter how many girls I met, none of them were her. I'd written of my hopes for when we'd marry, for where we'd travel, where we'd live. She'd written of the campus gossip, the movies and songs on the radio, even sending me a cassette tape of her voice on the college radio station. She told me she's missed me and took comfort in knowing we looked at the same stars each night. She put her heart on each page she wrote.
Knowing she was finally on the same side of the Atlantic was torture. It was several days after she's arrived when I finally found a ride to Paris that could fit into my student budget. It was a small car and a slightly frightening group, but every kilometer brought me closer to her door.
The class was staying at the same Pension that I'd stayed in as a freshman on the program. I'd made friends with the staff and they remembered me, so I was let inside and shown the stairway to her room. Seventh floor. Top of the building, with no elevator. The steps were nothing under my feet as I came to her door. The Pension mascot cat, Monsieur Mieux, wrapped around my ankles as I stood in front of the ancient port. I'd barely knocked when it flew open.
She stared as if seeing a ghost. Her eyes went so wide and she swallowed, glancing down at the cat and then giving me a once over. She grabbed my hands and pulled me into the room, dragging me over to her bed and giving me a slight shove to sit.
She looked down first, seeing the cat around my legs. "I've been hallucinating your arrival all afternoon. I am going to finish my last homework sentence and if you are still here when I look up, I'll know you are real, and not just Monsieur Mieux scratching at my door"
I was stunned silent by her pronouncement. Hallucinating about me all afternoon? As I finished the thought her pen hit the desktop and her book slammed shut.
She stood from her desk and I was at her side in a flash, taking her into my arms and kissing her as long and as hard as I could. Her lips were warm and sweet and much better than I'd remembered. It was as if we had never parted for even a day. We ended up sitting side by side on her bed, chatting over all the events from our travels and up to what we had covered in our letters. The room had grown warm in the afternoon sun, and I went to open the small window in the alcove that held her desk. I don't even recall the exact remark I made as I propped open the garret pane and noticed the Eiffel Tower, visible in the distance, if one knew how to look. Instead, I turned to look at Bella, her sudden silence filling the room like an autumn chill. What had I said? Something about when we are married? I just waited and looked at her, her eyes soft, sad and cast down toward the floor.
"Edward, a. Always the talk about marriage. But you, I mean… Perhaps the party of the first part should ask the party, the other party. I mean, they should ask them how they feel?" As she spoke, she shook, with a kind of fear, and then she took her hands up to cover her face and tilted her whole head toward her knees,, where her elbows came to rest, her shoulders shaking slightly. I heard her gasp in a breath and go still, silent as if listening, as if expecting a terrible sound.
It hit me just then. I had been talking of marriage for months, for letters on end, and I had never asked her. Of course I meant her. She was the one, she was my one and only. Perhaps I hadn't been clear, or she was still waiting for that other shoe to fall. I'd never told her she was the one. I would learn later of her fear, that she'd said too much of her fears out loud and that I'd been offended and just leave…. I understood.
I stepped right back over to her, slipping down onto one knee, in that time-honored pose. I had no ring, and no fat purse to get one just then, but I had my heart and my soul to offer her, and I could only pray that was enough. I took her hands gently down from her face and encouraged her to look at me. Her eyes slowly came up and met mine.
"Isabella, there is no one but you. Would you do me the great honor and become my wife? Marry me."
Thus, those words broke into sunshine on her face as her lips first whispered yes and covered my face with kisses and louder pronouncements of yes and oui fell from her mouth.
There was no way to tell our parents right then, and I promised myself that I would seek her father's blessing the next chance I had. She was mine, I was hers, and no time or distance or any circumstance at all would change that. Later, much later, after dinner and wine and a walk along the Seine, I held her in my arms and watched her sleep. It was going to crush me to leave to take my examinations, but I had a certainty, a goal.
I was going to marry Miss Swan at the first opportunity. The one and only, my heart, was secure at last.
The last part I had only thought in my head, I had not shared it with the circle and it was heavy with anticipation, when one tiny voice proffered the question.
"Well, did she say yes?"
"Yes, yes she did, and Madame Charlotte and I have been together ever since."
Gasps of joy and murmurs of it's true and I though so filtered around the cabin as the girls got up and scrambled into their cots. He bid the cabin a "Bonne Nuit" and strolled back under the moonlit trees toward the infirmary cabin.
A small lamp illuminated a circle between the two rockers on the porch, and he happily gave a kiss to Madame Charlotte as she stood up from the one on the right to greet him.
"What story did they get?"
"The one where I met my heart in Paris, of course!" He chucked and tucked a stray hair behind her ear as he whispered his question. "And what tale did you offer, my dear?"
"The one about a lonely girl who found her one and only; she set him free, and he came back and found her after all."
He smiled and offered his am. "My dear Bella, it's not the Seine, but I'd love a stroll down by the lake."
The moon again lit the lovers, together, dancing by the shore of the lake. Time, nor distance, nor circumstance had ever broken them again.


text:
|Home > Elouisa
♀ Elouisa
What does Elouisa mean?
Elouisa as a girls' name has its root in Old German, and the name Elouisa means "famous warrior". Elouisa is a variant form of Eloise (Old German).
VARIANT Eloisa
OTHER FORMS VIA ELOISE Elois, Elouise▼, EloyseCREATIVE FORMS
Elouisa Diana (E.D.), ..
How popular is Elouisa?
Elouisa is an unusual given name for females. Elouisa is also an uncommon surname for all people. (2000 U.S. CENSUS)
Which version is better?
Prominent alternative forms of Elouisa (NOT RANKED) are Elois, Eloisa, Eloise (#256 IN RECENT RANKINGS) and Elouise (#1786). Usage of these relations of Elouisa was more pronounced a century ago (ADOPTION OF 0.1%) and is almost as conventional today (ADOPTION 0.1%, DOWN 22%), but with the form Elouise becoming less stylish. Eloise is the most fashionable girl name among these. (TOP BABY NAMES, 2015)
Similar Names
Elouisa is alike in pronunciation to Alaisa, Alisa▼, Allisa, Aloisa, Eleisa, Elisa▲, Elisah, Elissa, Eliza▲, Ellissa, Elliza, Ellyssa, Elysa, Elyssa, Ilisa, Oleisa and Olisa. Other recommended sound-alike names are Alonsa, Clarisa▼, Clorissa, Corisa, Dorisa, Eionia, Eladia, Eldoria (see Eldora), Eldoris, Eleisha, Elenita, Elgiva, Elia, Elicia, Elida, Eligia, Elika, Elina, Elis, Elise▲, Elish, Elisha▼, Elisia, Elita, Ellia, Ellina, Ellis▲, Ellisha, Ellita, Ellsa, Ellura, Ellvira, Elmina, Elodea, Elodia, Elodie, Eloisia, Elona, Elonna, Elora▲, Eloysia, Elpida, Elrica, Elsa, Elssa, Elvia, Elvira▼, Elvis, Elysia, Elzina, Eroica, Heloisa, Jolisa, Jonisa, Klarisa, Lluisa, Louisa▼ and Luisa. These names tend to be more commonly used than Elouisa.See names in meaning and etymology.


text:
Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood – Excerpt
"Never having been one to face facts about aging, I was glad to learn from Suzanne Braun Levine that there are some swell facts–our brains actually increase in power after fifty, for example–and women especially are creating second adulthoods that are unique, creative and joyful. If you want to be inspired, just read this book full for personal, practical, surprising stories about what matters, what works–and best of all, what's next."
–Marlo Thomas, actor, editor The Right Words at the Right Time and Free to Be You and Me
Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood
By Suzanne Braun Levine
Part One
Getting to What Matters: Letting Go and Saying No
Chapter One
You're Not Who You Were, Only Older
The sense of danger must not disappear: The way is certainly both short and steep,
However gradual it looks from here; Look if you like, but you will have to leap.
. . .
Much can be said for savoir-faire,
But to rejoice when no one else is there Is even harder than it is to weep;
No one is watching, but you have to leap.
. . .
Our dream of safety has to disappear.
W. H. Auden, "Leap Before You Look"
My first step into Second Adulthood was backward off a ninety-foot cliff. On impulse, I had signed up for an Outward Bound program and found myself poised in full rappelling gear—harness, helmet, and guide rope—to walk down the face of what could just as well have been my twelve-story apartment building. The terror was pure. I was only mildly distracted by the reassuring words of our leader: "Fear is the appropriate response here.
After all, evolution doesn't take much interest in creatures that step backward off ninety-foot cliffs."
I made it down, of course. I had learned the lesson the exercise was surely designed to teach, that fear is not an unacceptable response, but it can be confronted. And I fulfilled a personal mission: to find out if I was still a Tomboy. (The very word, I realize as I use it, is a throwback to a bygone era, not just my own past.) My tomboy self, long lost in a marriage to a non-athletic, non–nature-lover and a busy urban life, played a big part in my personal mythology. Ever since I crossed the fiftieth birthday barrier a couple of years earlier I had wanted to reconnect with that rugged, adventurous outdoorswoman, if indeed she was still an authentic component of who I am. If my tomboy was still there, I wanted to share that part of me with my daughter, who was growing up in a time more accepting of the "big-boned" body type we share and as a young woman with an unequivocal appreciation of her body's strength. But first I had to make sure I wasn't perpetuating a myth about myself. Having grown up feeling I was often playing a part written by others, I wanted, as best I could, to get to the truth about my life.
As my feet hit the ground and I looked back up the craggy cliff toward the blue sky and my cheering companions, I was overcome with emotion—emotions really, more than I can identify even now—and I began to sob and laugh uncontrollably. But it was after I calmed down and had gone kind of limp that a totally unexpected breakthrough of really cosmic proportions hit. The descent down the cliff came on the fifth day of a seven-day program. I had done everything asked of me—jumping into icy water at dawn, sleeping on oars lined across an open boat, climbing a telephone pole, swinging on a rope into a spider-web net—so I was primed to obediently take on the next assignment. It was to keep our harnesses and ropes in place and climb back up the wall. Maybe it was because I was so totally wasted by the emotional and physical exertion, but I would like to think it was overcoming fear on the way down that gave me the courage to say no to going back up.
The only others in the group who declined to climb were two women in their fifties. We realized with some astonishment that, for us, saying no was as monumental an achievement as stepping backward off the cliff. Both challenges were more meaningful to the three of us because we were women of a certain age. Each of us had a different reason for coming to the wilderness, yet we shared an awakening drive to sort out our thinking about the next stage of our lives. In our dealings with that cliff we had encountered two essential themes of Second Adulthood: Letting Go and Saying No.
Letting Go and Saying No
In my lexicon, Second Adulthood is the unprecedented and productive time that our generation is encountering as we pass that dreaded landmark of a fiftieth birthday. If you think of your first adulthood as, roughly, the twenty-five years in which you built your life and set your style, the next twenty-five years can be a second chance—to do it better, to do it differently, to do it wiser. I say can be because a lot depends on luck—good health, good fortune, good friends. But a lot also depends on determination—taking risks, making change, weighing new options.
To seize that second chance requires recalibrating many of the primary forces in our lives and shifting gears. As anyone in our age group knows, to shift gears you first have to disengage the clutch and literally give up control for a moment. In the context of the Second Adulthood transition, letting go—of worn-out demands, of old news, of empty promises—is like stepping backward off a cliff. It is terrifying, especially for women who have spent a lifetime holding on, keeping things together, planning, coordinating, and prioritizing. It is hard to surrender to serendipity and to risk and change. It is distressing to find oneself having to renegotiate the most intimate relationships. But whether we see it as an adventure or not, we are at an age when circumstances force us to let go—of our children, of our looks, of some of our life goals—and feel ourselves fall apart, to ease off doing what we know how to do, to look into the abyss. For those who take the leap, letting go is also an opportunity to consolidate, to cherish, and to soar out over new terrain.
Saying no is the assertive form of letting go. If letting go focuses on acceptance and release, saying no focuses on actively shedding baggage that is getting in the way of moving on. Eliminating what doesn't work for us anymore, talking back to people who
have intimidated us in the past, renouncing behavior that doesn't feel authentic—all those no's are an important way of taking charge of our lives. They enable us to travel light toward clarity of purpose. Those first defiant no's are the prelude to many a triumphant yes! There's a catch, though—those triumphs can't be anticipated from the safety of solid ground. We have to take the plunge into Second Adulthood without knowing who we will be when we come up for air.
Reinventing Ourselves and Rewriting History
In many respects, we have been here before. Thirty years ago, at the beginning of our first adulthood, we were also on the verge of big changes; we were struggling to address what Betty Friedan had identified as The Problem That Has No Name—the dismissive and restrictive assumptions about women and their role in society. At that time, many women felt isolated and confused and guilty for not being satisfied with what they had been given, but fearful of talking about it.
Time and again, they found that the simple, yet risky, act of telling the truth about their doubts, failures, and fears to someone who appeared confident and accomplished resulted in a reassuring—and amazed—"me too!" response. In sharing frustration over household demands, impatience with children, anger at husbands, concerns about sexuality, and doubts about measuring up to media images, women found validation for their own perceptions, support, and the emotional high of not feeling like the only crazy woman on the block. One by one, those intimate revelations changed the conversation about women's roles as they changed each woman's own life.
The discovery that the personal is political—that our most private efforts have meaning in the community of women and impact beyond—led to the revolution that got us to this place. Today, motivated by that energy and those achievements, we are confronting a new unknown—The Problem That Has No Name has been replaced by The Question That Has Many Answers: What am I going to do with the rest of my life? Second Adulthood.
Second Adulthood is a journey each of us embarks on, but it is also a stage that our generation is in the process of defining as we live it. This book is about both. Sharing the stories of individual women's journeys gives reassurance to others; describing the parameters of the new life stage highlights the substantial upside of what can feel like a meltdown. There is great promise in Second Adulthood, but there is also an inescapable downside to getting older. A woman turning fifty this year has a 40 percent chance of living to one hundred, but she has the same chance of being erased from her world by Alzheimer's. Hormonal shifts can throw us off kilter into depression and anxiety, but they can also release a heady dose of defiance and energy, a second wind. Despite our professional breakthroughs, ageism is pervasive and insidious in our culture. Poverty among women increases with age. Some of this bad news we have to accept, but every day we encounter situations that can be turned around. As we zero in on what really matters in our lives now, we become better able to recognize—and make peace with— circumstances we cannot change and we become more experienced in taking charge of those we can and want to change.
My understanding of Second Adulthood is drawn from the insights of women with diverse life experiences—from the most traditional or ambitious to the most off-beat or spiritual, from celebrities to retirees—because I know that the baseline experience for each of us is more similar than different. In addition, it provides needed perspective to hear how others are coping with common problems in unfamiliar situations. I interviewed fifty women in depth and spoke with numerous others in that casual-yet-intimate kind of conversation women often strike up. I learned from every one. As Gloria Steinem has pointed out, "anyone who has experienced something is more expert in it than the experts."
I also sought out the professionals who are following our trajectory. They are finding patterns that illuminate our anecdotal accounts and set our experience in the larger context of social change. The broad message of my research is that both the personal and
the societal status quo are being challenged. As we make our individual ripples, we are collectively creating a major paradigm shift that has consequences well beyond our own lives. Just as women did during the years of discovery and rebellion that began in the seventies—whether or not an individual considered herself a part of the Women's Movement—we are now rewriting history as we are reinventing ourselves.
The New Stage of Life
Almost thirty-seven million American women in our late forties, fifties, and sixties are the beneficiaries of scientific and health breakthroughs that are prolonging our active lives. At an average life expectancy of eighty-plus years, we are likely to live as adults almost as long again as we already have. This is a new era for women. The choices we have made so far have set the stage for this new era. The choices we each make will define it. Our numbers will call attention to it.
Born in the 1940s and 1950s, we were raised in a culture that had a limited view of women's prospects; then we spent our first adulthood breaking free of those narrow expectations. During the seventies and eighties, we became acquainted with what women could do, even if we didn't personally achieve all we could have. And many of us have achieved more than our mothers ever could have dreamed. As a result, we bring to our Second Adulthood a double awareness: a first adulthood full of experience in reinventing ourselves; and the conviction that women belong in the public sphere—the marketplace, the civic arena, the sports stadium—not only in the home.
Now the last frontier is before us—the grandma assumption. In our mothers' generation the conventional wisdom was that once a woman reached the change of life, her life stopped changing. What she had not done by fifty, she would never do. What she did afterward wouldn't matter to anyone but the grandchildren she would spoil rotten. We are already turning those assumptions around.
It's not that we aren't reveling in the joys of participating in a new life. "I feel like I have taken a lover," a doting grandmother confessed to me. "My heart flutters when my granddaughter calls. I daydream about her at work. I shop for the silliest gifts for her." It's just that the momentum of our eventful, busy, productive first adulthoods is propelling us past an all-consuming granny role. "I'm a doctor, a teacher, a lover, a political activist, a friend—and a grandma," another woman protested. "But as much as I adore my grandchildren, they are not the defining part of my life."
We are mature achievers and late bloomers. We are taking on challenges and taking care of ourselves. Far from fading into the woodwork, we are full of surprises. Most of the women I talked to about the onset of Second Adulthood reported at least some of the surprises that I experienced on my Outward Bound adventure:
• an impulsive decision to do something out of character
• a willingness to take a calculated risk into the unknown
• a determination to make contact with one's authentic self and tap into the true passion there
• a desire to become a source of truth about women to the next generation
• the delicious freedom of looking the latest expectation—in a lifetime of expectations—in the eye and saying, "Not me. Not now!"
I don't think it is an accident that the triumphant tomboy I longed to reconnect with dates back to an earlier stage when I felt power and confidence and then lost it. Like just about every woman now over fifty, I experienced adolescence as a time of increasing self-doubt, of abandoned not-for-girls dreams and of limitations closing in. For girls today, and even for us, it is hard to conjure up the time when girls had to wear only skirts and play jump rope and learn to giggle and make every statement into a question—a time when they had to rein in the high spirits of grade school days and start concentrating on the serious business of learning to please other people.
When readers of More magazine, a publication for women over forty, were asked about their age, the majority said they felt their best years were ahead of them. What they liked about being older was "not worrying about what other people think" and "being more self-confident" and even "no more menstrual cycle." Their words sound like a celebration of the girlhood sense of power and independence that our generation had to renounce. Second Adulthood is, in part, about recapturing that earlier state of mind and—at last— growing with it. For women of our generation, this is a unique moment, a second chance at growing up strong.
When we gather for fiftieth and sixtieth birthdays, we ask each other if we are grown up yet. The answer is: Yes, we are grown up, but at the same time we are only halfway there. We are about to grow up again.
You Are Not Who You Were, Only Older
The most important discovery I've made about Second Adulthood is that a woman entering this new stage is not the same one who set up her first adulthood life. We are approaching the next frontier as women with new ideas and responses, whose priorities are changing. That's why answering the question what's next? is not as easy as it may appear. For example, despite all I had riding on that wilderness challenge, outdoor life is off my agenda. The tomboy trip has become irrelevant, as have many of the other long-standing items on my to-do (in life) list. It would be easy if what Gail Sheehy first identified (in New Passages) as Second Adulthood were really about the opportunity to do "everything you always wanted to do." But like me, many women find themselves staring blankly at their life lists and wondering why they are not enthusiastic about fulfilling those long-standing dreams. The truth is we have outgrown them. They are dreams of a past adulthood. "Everything you always wanted to do" has little bearing on what you are going to do next. Because you are simply not that you anymore. You are simply not who you once were, only older.
This can be terribly confusing. Allison, who considers herself a clear-thinking woman, found herself awash in mixed signals. After only a year at a job that should have felt like the crowning achievement of her career, she couldn't believe she was thinking about, of
all things, retiring. Where had all her ambition gone? Why was she not able, as she put it, "to enjoy success"? Why did she suddenly want to be home for the high school years of her youngest child, when she had always maintained that the stimulation of work she loved made her a better mother? She felt she was losing her convictions as well as her drive. "I just want to stay home and paint and take courses," she said flatly, as if talking about someone she barely knew.
Other women described their own experiences of getting off track with equal bewilderment. Some could not explain new tastes in foods—or new sexual interests. Others found themselves "behaving badly" but not inclined to apologize. Several described behavior that ultimately opened up new prospects, but looked and felt inexplicable or flaky at the time. Sylvia, for example, comfortable in a midlevel executive job, was in the midst of sending out an e-mail to her friends and colleagues about an opening at the top of another organization when instead of pushing send, she picked up the phone and proposed herself (and got the job). And Sara, who fought like crazy during her divorce proceedings to keep her rambling apartment with the dark velvet furniture and towering bookshelves she loved, but the next thing she knew, she was longing for sunshine and cozy spaces. She now lives in a small suburban high-rise where she can grow geraniums in every window. Patricia, a non-practicing Jew all her life, felt an inexplicable longing for "more mystery" in her religious life and, after much soul-searching and study, ultimately converted to Catholicism. Madeline retired in order to escape the city and spend more time making her garden grow, yet found herself drawn toward a different kind of gardening. She now teaches English as a Second Language in an inner city homeless shelter.
As the journey goes forward, this unfamiliar persona, this mischievous Tinkerbell at our ear, matures into the voice we count on most. It gets stronger, more authoritative, more philosophical, more courageous. "Old women are different from everyone else," wrote novelist Ursula LeGuin. "They tell the truth."
You Are Not Who You Were. Literally.
The reconstructed you is not a figment of your imagination. The dynamic that many women are reporting—new outlook, new confidence, new dreams—is supported by scientific research from many disciplines. What we are learning about our bodies tells us that nature has by no means abandoned us at this stage, and what is becoming understood about our style of behavior tells us we are not programmed to fade away. On the contrary, we might be as well or better suited to new challenges at this stage of life than before.
Some of the most spectacular news I will report comes from neurology labs where researchers are concluding that, contrary to conventional thinking, the aging brain is not just degenerating. In fact, it is generating in ways that are supportive of big achievements after midlife. Until very recently, it was thought that brain growth stops even before physical maturity and, in middle age, the brain begins a decline into a series of senior moments. While it is true that certain kinds of memory processes get rusty (I have a friend who claims that "these days, remembering a name is better than having an orgasm"), other capabilities begin gearing up at around age forty-five and continue for a decade or more. Specifically, in that part of the brain responsible for making judgments, finding new solutions to old problems, and managing emotions—not sweating the small stuff—there is a great leap forward.
I will also describe how medical science is only just beginning to address the ways that women's bodies get sick or stay well. Until now most of what we knew about heart attacks, for example, was based on the male model. It is now clear that heart attacks in women have been going undiagnosed because we present different symptoms. Our bodies age and adapt in ways we are just beginning to understand. Every day there is more to know about our physical ability to engage and manage the experiences of Second Adulthood.
Another research frontier particularly relevant to understanding the reinvention process of Second Adulthood is the relatively new academic discipline of gender studies. After thirty years of activism against stereotypical gender distinctions, the playing field has become level enough to begin looking at the real behavioral differences between men and women without imposing restrictions or value judgments on them. Sociologists, psychologists, political scientists, and feminists are exploring those traits, be they nurtured or natural, that take women and men down different roads to the same goal. A wide range of studies are analyzing the way men and women deal with moral questions, with power, and with the demands of daily life. Early analysis suggests that women's multifaceted thinking process and more improvisational approach to problem-solving are particularly suited to the challenges of Second Adulthood—not to mention the twenty¬first-century world.
My current favorite example is how women and men deal with stress (that is, the modern-day form of danger once represented by a menacing jungle predator). We have always been taught that the human animal is equipped with a fight-or-flight response in which adrenaline mobilizes the body for enhanced speed to escape or enhanced strength to strike out. It turns out that those conclusions were drawn from studies done on men. According to University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) psychologist Shelley E. Taylor, it is now clear that "every man for himself" is primarily a male response; women exhibit what scientists have labeled tend-and-befriend behavior. Our impulse in times of danger is to join with others in our group to make peace, to reach out to friend and foe, to defuse the situation. The genesis of the inquiry into women's behavior came, appropriately, in a casual girl talk between Taylor and her colleague Dr. Laura Cousino Klein. "There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded," recalls Dr. Klein. "When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own." Their study is the result of their determination to find out why.
The notion that women seek safety in a social network is confirmed in animal studies. Another UCLA study found that while crowding made male rats more stressed, it calmed the females. An important source of this different behavior is the pituitary hormone oxytocin—best known for its role in labor before birth and lactation afterward—which
has a calming effect and is produced in both men and women. The difference is that in men the effect of oxytocin—also known as the hormone of love or the cuddle chemical— is diminished by the release of testosterone, which promotes aggressive responses.
There is an interesting corollary to this discovery. Previous research shows that when adrenaline is rushing, as in the fight-or-flight response, cognitive functions are focused on the body's mobilization against danger. But those rational faculties are actually enhanced in a calmed-down state, which the tend-and-befriend mode is, and they can be called upon to think through a problem rather than attack or flee it.
These insights also offer a new perspective on women's friendships, which play an enhanced and crucial role in Second Adulthood. The network of friends we instinctively turn to is more than a support group; it is a significant survival technique. Not only because women are hard-wired to confront adversity better in groups, but because the combination of trust and respect we practice with each other is a model for the new intimacy that our changing circumstances call for in our other relationships.
The importance of this bond was confirmed by how often the women I have interviewed say that it was their friends that talked them through a crisis and, in general, kept them going. "I don't know what I would do without my friends" is a mantra we all chant. Few men have that kind of intimate support network; that may be one reason why they become less adventurous than women in Second Adulthood and why many seem to be going through a second childhood instead.
Women arrive at the frontier of this new stage with impressive credentials. Although we are flying under the radar, obscured by the wildly flawed expectation that we will become less and less who we were as we get older, we are poised to take off into the unknown. Futurist Ken Dychtwald, a consultant on what he calls the age wave, issued an early warning alert to a group of business executives about "the most amazing women our country has ever seen. They are living the most complex lives, managing households,
managing jobs, dealing with in-laws….We haven't come close to understanding the complexity of the mind, heart, and soul of these women" who, he added, "are going to become the power group in our country!"
The Journey
So, we are a new kind of generation. At the same time each of us is a new woman to herself. No wonder the journey begins in a torrent of confusion. Many women find themselves at the edge of the cliff before they even realize something is happening. And looking down, they can't imagine what ropes and pulleys will guide their descent.
They are propelled only by a funny feeling—like the first inkling of pregnancy. It is a mixture of dissatisfaction and fear—and a panicky sense that it is time to do something. Sooner or later each of us does do something. The something is different for every woman I talked to, as minor as throwing out that pillowcase full of mismatched socks once and for all, or as major as interviewing for a new job, getting divorced, or going back to school. But in each case, the ripples set off by those first almost random acts move out into unexpected corners of their lives. In the course of Second Adulthood every aspect of our being—our intimate relationships and our public selves, our professional commitments and our secret dreams, our drives and our fears—will be washed by those ripples; some may even be washed away. But the momentum that has been generated, disorienting as it might be, is driving us toward a wider horizon. As my friend Elizabeth reassures me when I feel atomized by the centrifugal force of events in my life, "a person who isn't expanding is a person who is contracting."
Since my week in the wilderness, I have switched careers, though not entirely by my own choosing. I have endured the tumultuous adolescence of my son while on the alarmingly parallel track of menopause. I lost twenty-five pounds (and, alas, gained a few back) and have begun to work out in a gym for the first time in my life. I have become a feisty big-mouth, in stark contrast to the conciliatory smoother-over of my first fifty years. I have undertaken the renegotiation of a thirty-five year marriage. I have made as many sardonic
jokes as anyone about sagging flesh and memory lapses. And I am still trying to figure out how I am going to cross the shifting tectonic plates that lie between who I have been in my assimilated roles of daughter, friend, employee, wife, mother—and who I am becoming as I tap into my inner resources.
To illuminate my own journey and to clarify the promise and pitfalls of this stage of life, I have asked practically every woman I encountered over the past two years to tell me about her life at this moment in time. Even the experts I was consulting about their research dropped their professional distance once I explained what I was writing about and shared their personal expertise as well. Each is in the midst of her journey. Their stories are as worn around the edges as yours and mine. They have no neat endings or surefire tricks to offer; in most, the plot line meanders and doubles back and even disappears for a time. There are highs and lows. When I talked to them, some were euphoric because I caught them on a day when they had glimpsed a light at the end of a tunnel or when some piece had finally fallen into place or when they were simply having a good day. Others were feeling lost, desperately searching for a pattern, for a game plan.
But everyone found our conversation a rare opportunity to share personal discoveries, connect with what other women were experiencing, and take strength from that. And I'm sure you know how that strength expressed itself. Not in choruses of "I am woman, hear me roar!" but in laughter, our secret weapon. I cannot imagine getting through the day, let alone Second Adulthood—or this book, for that matter—without an acerbic "are you ready for this?" from a friend or a hysterical dead-on observation about forgetfulness in an e-mail or a collective guffaw with my best once-a-month dinner friends over one of aging's absurdities. I would never leave home on any kind of journey without the friends I laugh with. They, along with the women I interviewed, and you the reader, are on this adventure with me. By sharing information and telling the truth, we will figure things out together.
So, with the understanding that this is a process and not a program, I can assure you of
two things: you are not alone, and the trip will definitely be worth it.
An Itinerary
However much of the statistically projected quarter of a century any of us actually does get, it will be spent wrestling with The Question (what am I going to do with the rest of my life?) in its serial form—what matters? what works? and what's next? If I am not who I was, we inquire with apprehension, who am I now? Who do I want to become? How do I get there? What will that person make of her days?
The answers are different for every woman and even for the same women at different points along the way. In many ways, Second Adulthood is a mystery cruise to an undisclosed destination in wildly unpredictable weather, calling on ports dangerous and idyllic. And while The Question may drive the ship, the answer for many of us will lie not in a particular harbor but in the journey itself.
If it was possible to chart the journey in a formulaic way, it would go something like this: The You're-Not-Who-You-Were, Only-Older phase is totally discombobulating. Not only do you not know what is happening to you, but you don't even know what words will come out of your mouth next. You may hear yourself accept an invitation you were sure you would decline; or, instead of abjectly apologizing for a misstep, you hear yourself simply acknowledge it and move on. My early encounter with the euphoria of saying no is characteristic of the surge of defiance many women experience at first.
The confusion that results from such inappropriate and out-of-character behavior—the sense of falling—eventually gives way to a floating sensation in a gravity-free zone I call the Fertile Void. That is where we begin the process of sorting things out—and shaking things up. We shed the voices of shoulda-woulda-coulda thinking and begin to sense the presence of an internal compass, our own voice. With its guidance, we can zero in on our personal truth—to distinguish between the fire of an authentic drive and the drone of automatic pilot. Little by little, we get in touch with that elusive essential—our passions.
Emboldened by these important discoveries about ourselves, we enter the recalibration phase. There we become engaged in the delicate business of revising our priorities and renegotiating our relationships. This is when we look at our work life and our love life and take stock of our circumstances. Initially, most of us think the decisions we need to make about the future are practical ones, along the lines of changing jobs or taking up woodworking, making to-do lists and cleaning out closets, but the Fertile Void soul searching reveals that we are really confronting multiple versions of The Question. Some versions are metaphysical, some practical, some emotional: How do I take care of my body for the rest of my life? How will I manage my finances? What activities will make me feel productive and successful? How do I cope with adversity? And, most painfully: How do I love? There is nothing harder than trying to convince a bewildered partner or child that you are discovering new ways of loving them. But we are.
As the pieces of self-knowledge and self-determination begin to fall into place, what at first appeared to be a chaotic and sometimes fool-hardy enterprise morphs into a more philosophical and authoritative frame of mind, a phase I call making peace and taking charge. This is when we implement some changes and begin to believe that we can handle whatever life throws at us. At this point it becomes inviting to look beyond the limits of our inner voices and our immediate concerns—to the world around us. Some women become galvanized by community activities or go back to school; others take a new look at the impact of their work or at the spiritual component in their lives. Many are drawn to the generations ahead or behind them and come to feel more grounded in the human family.
Ideally—which means rarely—these stages build upon each other so that a sense of mastery meets the riptides set off by the painful, and invigorating, and inevitable business of recalibrating every gauge in our lives. For most of us, though, it seems to be happening all at once. Still, with every risk we take, we become more confident that we can cope with and even embrace conflict and change. And as we meet the challenges described in the chapters that follow, the discoveries we make about our inner resources empower us to take on the next one.
Margo's Story
There's Just No Static on the Line
You will meet many complex and exciting women in the pages that follow, but I do want to introduce you now to Margo (whose name, like some of the others in this book, has been changed to protect her privacy). Her story struck me as a paradigm for the Second Adulthood process. Margo's husband died twelve years before we met and her two sons had only recently moved on into their own lives. For thirty years, Margo, now fifty-five, had worked as a high-powered corporate executive and had relished the excitement her career brought. But suddenly, she was feeling claustrophobic, a condition many women experience in widely differing forms. "I felt my world was small and getting smaller," she told me. Margo was bewildered. "I had always had a lot of ambition and aggression. And then I didn't. What happened?"
As she continued to push herself to meet the job demands that used to feel like a welcome challenge, she tested out alternatives. Since she'd always loved antiques, she thought she might try being a buyer for other dealers, but a few courses in antiques convinced her she "didn't want to go back to school," and several months scrounging flea markets convinced her that she couldn't earn a living as a "picker." She tried to push her imagination further; she even "thought it might be fun to be a character actor in commercials. But," Margo concludes, "one by one, I eliminated all those ideas."
Then serendipity struck. A young woman her son was dating was about to leave for the Peace Corps, and everything she described about that program sounded just right. Margo, the urban executive; Margo, whose lifelong hobby—around which she planned her busy schedule—was ballet classes; Margo, the driven, bossy, power broker; that very Margo found herself a year later in a tiny village in the Ivory Coast, speaking fluent French and designing latrine-building projects. What does Margo say about all this? "I have no idea
why I had so little trouble adjusting. There is just no static on the line!" What a glorious prospect: a stage of life that brings clarity, confidence, and purpose!
But her journey doesn't stop there. In a couple of years Margo plans to come home and become a consultant on economic development to international corporations. And lest anyone think she's thrown over her old self altogether, she expects to pick up ballet again (though a few classes when she came home for the birth of her first grandchild showed her that she "couldn't do a turned-out plié as gracefully as before"). And she intends to make the most of her new self. "I have a nest egg," she explains, "but I do need to earn money. I'm used to earning and dressing and being and going—being chic. You can't do that on a fixed income. Maintenance is expensive. Being a jazzy older woman costs money. And that includes plastic surgery—when I get back from the Peace Corps."
Margo and you and I are the first generation of women nurtured on a recognition of women's independence; that gives us the chutzpah to go for a Second Adulthood. We are the first generation to be recipients of new levels of health and longevity expectations; that gives us the time for a Second Adulthood. We are the largest segment of the largest population demographic in U.S. history, and that gives us consumer and political clout to shape a new social experience called Second Adulthood. And science is producing breakthrough research showing brain changes that suggest our outlook is literally being redesigned from the inside; that gives us affirmation for what we are finding out about Second Adulthood.
What we don't have yet are role models or road maps for the journey, and that can make freedom feel like chaos, and promise feel like wishful thinking. I offer the brain research news, sketchy as it is, as a metaphor for Second Adulthood. If a woman looks at what is happening to her as a learning curve of her new brain power, she will be more receptive to the impulse to reconsider her experience, revisit her decisions, and reorganize her emotions. Willing to step off the cliff and meet the not-yet-known. Like our first adulthood, Second Adulthood begins with a turbulent adolescence.
"I found so many resonances with my own experiences in Suzanne Braun Levine's book. And the information is astonishing. Inventing The Rest Of Our Lives will have a huge impact and will clarify so many things for so many women."
Carol Gilligan, psychologist, author In a Different Voice and The Birth of Pleasure