text:
Carolyn Hax
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, February 14, 2008 12:00 PM
Special Valentine's Day Edition!
Carolyn takes your questions and comments about her current advice column and any other questions you might have about the strange train we call life. Her answers may appear online or in an upcoming column.
Appearing every day in The Washington Post Style section and in the Sunday Source, Carolyn Hax offers readers advice based on the experiences of someone who's been there. Hax is an ex-repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Oh, and the shoes. A lot of shoes.
Arlington, Va.: Since today is Valentine's Day and all, how about throwing out some advice for those socially awkward guys out there, who have a little trouble approaching women or holding up their end of the conversation or aren't sure how to act during dates. I know if you help them actually solve their problems, then you lose about 40 percent of your audience, but come on, where's the love?
Carolyn Hax: It's here, babeeee ... I know that knowing there are more socially awkward people than confident ones isn't of much comfort, since the problem remains that you actually have to go out and find them. However, when you do, please know that 1. people care less about your awkwardness than you think they do; 2. the more people you talk to the less you'll need any one person to respond well; and 3. the less you need someone to respond well the less awkward you'll probably feel. Go get em.
Arlington, Va.: Hi Carolyn,
Dumb logistical question, but here goes: I bought my girlfriend a gold necklace and I want to give it to her over dinner tonight. It's in a ring box, but I DON'T want her to think it's an engagement ring before she opens it. What do you suggest? We're at the stage where she could reasonably expect a V-day engagement, but she's not getting one, and I don't want to watch her excitement rise and then fall over something I put a lot of thought into, anyway.
Carolyn Hax: Change the box. Seriously. If you can't get to the store today, maybe a nearby jeweler will take pity on you (and you can reward that jeweler with your business when you buy this girlfriend earrings for her birthday, in a box the size of an Oldsmobile).
Ex-Awkwardville: Embrace the awkwardness! It's amazing how doing that can completely disarm people.
Carolyn Hax: This came up last week, too, and I agree--just know it's going to happen and ride it out, and if you're feeling particularly bold, admit that you're feeling awkward.
Washington, D.C.: Hi Carolyn- Wow. I just spent a few minutes on the matchmaking chat and it really depressed me. Not only is the coomentary in ALL CAPS annoying, but the idea that every couple has to have a discussion about marriage within the first six months is just stupid. Does this "professional" approach really work for people? I hate this day.
Carolyn Hax: No! Don't blame the whole day for a bad case of the CAPS KEY. Here, maybe this will be a redeemer. It's my mom's mac and cheese recipe:
2T butter
2T flour
1t salt
1t dried mustard
2.5 cups milk
2 cups (8 oz) grated cheese--sharp white cheddar is the only one I'll vouch for
2 cups dry elbow macaroni (cook for 6 min while preparing sauce)
Melt butter, stir in flour;
Add salt, mustard, milk;
Stir till it starts to thicken;
Add cheese, stir till it melts;
Pour over elbows in a casserole dish;
Sprinkle cracker crumbs over top.
Bake at 375 for 20 min.
Sometimes I mix in cooked peas before I bake it.
I know we aren't supposed to comfort ourselves with food, so I won't call this my favorite comfort food. Plus, you can use lowfat milk.
Not an engagement ring: I'd love it if I unwrapped a CD box and found a necklace inside.
Carolyn Hax: Cool idea.
For Awkward Arlington: It might also be helpful for the Awkward guy from Arlington to try not thinking of himself as part of a group of "awkward guys" who are trying to approach a separate, mysterious group called "women." If he can think of women as people who might also feel awkward, it might help him get over his problems in knowing how to talk to them.
Carolyn Hax: Well said, and I'll nudge it further along by taking a few words away--if he can just think of women as people. Female friends, male friends, old friends, young friends--diversity of people and purpose can really help in this case.
In fact, people who are cowed by dating would be best served by just mingling, and with no purpose in mind beyond talking to different people. Socializing will still be hard for those to whom it doesn't come naturally, but it's getting invested in an outcome that really cranks up the degree of difficulty.
Washington, D.C.: For the recipe -- is "t" short for "teaspoon" or "tablespoon"? Little "t" is teaspoon and big "T" is tablespoon, right?
Carolyn Hax: Right--T for Tablespoon, t for teaspoon
Stupid, Wherever: Hi Carolyn,
I'm recently married to a person I like, who wants us to grow old and have children together. Problem is I flinch every time I think of having kids with him. I'm pro children as such, and he's a good person, but I don't think I'm in love. He believably says that I'm the only person he's ever loved, and that he'd just have to die if I left. He, as I said, is a great person, but has a history of major depression and suicide attempts back before he got on (successful) medication. I'm torn. You're good at giving pointers for thought -- maybe you could help me look at this situations from the outside. Thank you.
Carolyn Hax: Oh my. Did you marry him because you were afraid to leave lest he hurt himself, and were afraid to decline his proposal lest he hurt himself, and were afraid to break the engagement lest he hurt himself?
There will be, there always is, a point when you have to say no if no is your genuine answer--and I think being on the brink of bringing children into this unhappy home is that point.
Meanwhile, I don't care how believably he said it, or--and I don't mean this to be callous--how unstable he may be. It is never okay to lay the responsibility for your whole life on someone else's shoulders. It's extremely manipulative. Just look how well it worked on you--you don't love him and married him anyway.
These observations all come down to one "pointer": Please get into counseling with someone who is sufficiently licensed and trained to help you extract yourself from this life in service of guilt. It has to be someone who's in a position to manage your care with an eye to your husband's illness; "Seeya" isn't an option with someone in fragile health. However, staying when you don't love him doesn't sound like much of an option, either. Get qualified help and get to work.
Now you tell me!: About the no-comforting-with-food thing -- after I bought two of these little heart-shaped flourless cakes for tonight (hey, one for tonight, one for tomorrow night). Oh, well.
Carolyn Hax: You're -celebrating- yourself. With cake. So you're fine.
Help! Urgently in need of Help!: I don't think I love my husband anymore. We've been married for six months, and I don't know what I was expecting from married life, but I wasn't expecting to be the maid, cook, AND have my regular full time job on top of everything else. Don't get me wrong, when we were first married, I loved doing laundry because it was for us, and everything was so nice (cue the singing Disney birds and try not to gag). I liked cooking meals that would be ready when he got home from work-- but after six months of little to no help around the house, I'm seriously thinking about getting a divorce.
Now it's not like my husband and I just randomly met and got married-- we were together for 4.5 years before the wedding (even were engaged once before, which didn't work due to issues with his parents-- we broke up, he grew a pair, we got back together and dated for another year before getting engaged and actually going through with things).
Before we got married, I was over the moon for him -- he was my best friend, my love, etc. (gag, gag), but now, after 6 months in a small apartment, very little personal time, and a husband who follows me around like a puppy when he gets home from work, I just want to scream and run away.
He's a great guy, he really is, and a good person. I feel that my lack of emotion, and lack of feelings, and lack of libido for him will be hurtful if he finds out -- right now I'm blaming my bad moods on problems at work.
I think the problem is with me, mostly, for not asking for help, and letting the resentment build up -- but I don't think I feel anything for him anymore. At what point do I bail out? At what point do I give him another chance? Please help!
Carolyn Hax: Tell him, tell him, tell him. You can cut out the more hurtful stuff, obviously, but the part about how you felt before and how the chore pileup has rendered you into a spokesmodel for "after" are things you have to get out there. You also need to say out loud your very accurate observation that you're to blame for letting this build up. Don't get too carried away there; six months is hardly a long buildup when you consider there are people torn up by this very issue 16 years into their marriages.
So get at this now. To answer your specific questions, I think 6 months is pretty early to bail, but my "when to give up" answer is when you don't have feelings for the person any more, which is what usually makes efforts futile.
Combine the two, and I think you have to give him a real chance here--because of the short time, because you haven't tried -anything- yet (whining about work doesn't count), because he has a history of being receptive to change, but mainly because you took vows. They have to mean something.
You may end up finding things can't be repaired. But it is on you to try everything you can to work with him to create a married life that rewards you both. Since you brought up the singing Disney birds--they often do take cover during the first year people live together. Not all couples adjust well, especially if they, ahem, have things to learn about communicating first, before they can even get to the I-didn't-marry-you-just-for-the-privilege-of-doing-your-dishes stuff.
Washington, D.C.: A while back, my now-husband bought me a non-engagement ring. He put the box in my lap and said, "Don't get the wrong idea."
Carolyn Hax: I feel warm all over.
Stupid, Somewhere Else: What if you married someone whom you do love, but still don't think you want to have kids with them? Not necessarily that you don't want to have kids, but that it wouldn't be the ideal situation that I want to raise kids in/around. Does this mean that, actually, I don't love him?
Carolyn Hax: Not much work is getting done in Stupid today. But maybe that's the norm.
No, not wanting kids with someone doesn't have to mean you don't love him. It means that, together, you create an environment that you don't believe will be good for kids. (Or good for you to bring kids into.) The marriage of a couple of posts ago--the one where the new wife is doing everything? Let's say the housework hasn't beaten the love out of her yet, which is actually pretty common. That would be a situation where I'd easily see her thinking that kids wouldn't be a good idea.
I do think, though, that this is only the first step in your reasoning. The next steps are whether you want to stay in the marriage and just not have kids, and, if so, whether you're sure enough for it to be time to let him in on your thinking.
Hahira, Ga.: When my husband was shopping for my engagement ring a few years back (just happened to be a few weeks before Valentine's Day), there was a guy in the jewelry store purchasing a pearl ring for his girlfriend. His thinking was that maybe the pearl would satiate her for a while. I would still love to hear what happened with them!
Carolyn Hax: This post will be delayed because I took time to rub my face.
Why aren't these couples just TALKING to each other?
I know, I know, there I go again.
Re: "Stupid, Wherever": Carolyn, you've made a bunch of assumptions about the writer's motivation for marrying her husband. You may be right that this is some kind of pity marriage entered into to avoid his hurting himself. But even given his history of mental illness, it's still more likly she married him for the same reason most people who shouldn't get married (and know they shouldn't) do so anyway: Because for some reason, they consider the alternative (being alone, even temporarily) worse than being trapped in an ill-conceieved marriage.
I don't know that this changes your advice to her; counseling is the right thing. But for her to get any good out of it, she's going to have to be honest with herself and her counselor about her reasons for getting married, and her personal contribution to this mess.
Carolyn Hax: I absolutely see your point, thank you. You're right that I assumed.
I would like to say why I assumed, though, because it's a quibble with what you say is the reason "most" people go through with these ill-conceived marriages. That may be why people work a little too hard to try to get a nonfunctional relationship to work, but I think a lot of marriage trains feel unstoppable to people because they can't face admitting to someone's face that they don't want to get married. It is a stunningly common theme in the letters I receive.
Anonymous: Happy VD, Carolyn.
Here's my deal: I consistently date guys that are 8-10 years younger than me, financially unstable, still in their mid-20s party stage, who have no thought of settling down -- all of which is generally fine with me; they're fun! But I had this sudden realization (possibly stupid-holiday related) that I'm about to turn 35 (ok, in 11 months) and had a major panic of OMG WTF am I doing with my life??!!
Perspective check, please? Is it ok to flit through life with the only objective being to have fun?
Carolyn Hax: Only if it's a real objective, and you have a real plan in place to provide you with the things you do need--financial security, social support, purpose, love. Obviously, nobody's "plan" of this sort can ever be foolproof, because life will do what it does, even to those who expect to get their love and security from their secure and loving marriages.
However, if you're as confident in and content with the substance of your life as anyone can reasonably expect to be--i.e., if you're taking good care of yourself, and you aren't delusionally expecting one of these boy toys to fall for, love and care for you a la "Sex and the City"--then why not see the romantic aspect of your life as pure frivolity? It's an interesting idea. It all really hinges on whether you're kidding yourself.
Houston: I'm a woman, and I'd like to propose to my guy. EVERYONE advises against this. "Men propose when they're ready."
Should I care? I'm ready, and I think he might be, and if he isn't, I want to know that now.
Carolyn Hax: Then propose to him. I don't advise against people who go into things with their eyes open. You have a reason for doing this, you know yourself and you know the guy. Presumably, at least--you may find out by proposing that you didn't know him as well as you thought. But, again, as long as that's an outcome you're prepared to deal with, then bombs away. Let me/us know? No pressure, just rooting for you.
Silver Spring, Md. : Hi Carolyn!
I'm 17 and in high school with my first girlfriend. What's something nice I can do for Valentine's Day on a small budget? I would appreciate your ideas.
Carolyn Hax: How cool is she? If she's offbeat and awesome and really really likes you, you can make her a construction paper card and she'll keep it for the rest of her life. If you're not sure how cool she is, I won't set you up like that--way too cornball. Instead, just take a look at what she wears, listens to, reads; whom she quotes; what pictures she posts/frames. People give off a million hints a day about what they like, and all you have to do is read them. Unless what she likes is someone who plans ahead. Then you're toast.
Odenton, Md.: Hi Carolyn,
What do you suggest for someone who would really like to be in a relationship, can't seem to find one, but on the other hand just wants to be happy with herself as a single woman. I just get tired of not having someone that I can really talk to and connect with. Most of my friends are married with kids so I feel like I really can't connect with them at the level that I would like.
Carolyn Hax: The easy answer is to widen your circle of friends, though I know how hard that gets with ever year removed we are from school days. So, I guess it's the hard answer.
Still, I can't see any real choices other than starting to reach out a bit more to new people. What people often do--even the married ones, who get plenty lonely, and also struggle to find friends--is immerse themselves in some-thing- outside the home that they find meaningful, on the theory that the some-bodies- may or may not come along in time, and till they do they'll at least have a greater sense of community and purpose.
For the teen lovebird: Bake your girlfriend cookies! Baking is cheap, does not require days of planning, and entirely adorable. If she's cool enough, ice some ironic pink skull and bones on those suckers. If she's not... sorry.
Carolyn Hax: Brilliant. Thanks.
Frederick, Md.: Im female in my 30s. Out with male in 30s I just met a few weeks ago. Have spent about 6 hours talking to him on phone and in person. We are both single. At end of third encounter, he turns to me as he walks down the stairs and says "See you around."
How would you take that comment?
Carolyn Hax: If it was yesterday, I wouldn't take it as anything. If it was 2.5 weeks ago, I would take it as goodbye.
Something more?: In your opinion are white lies an indication that there's something bigger going on? I'm in a situation where I know the answer, ask the question, and get told a "white lie." It's very possible it's simply evasiveness for no reason, but there could be a much more damaging reason for the lies. I'm not sure how to feel about it. My gut doesn't feel so good however.
Carolyn Hax: I wish I had specifics, but that's probably just morbid curiosity. "Evasiveness for no reason" isn't something to brush off. People are either straight with you 99.9 percent of the time, or you can't count on them, and if you can't count on them, then a close relationship is a bad idea. This is what your gut would be saying if it had access to a keyboard. (Then again, it might just bang its forehead on it. If it had access to a forehead.)
Washington, D.C.: DONT PROPOSE! Not because it's tradition for the guy to do so...but because...if he wanted to he would...and if he agrees now...he probably doesnt REALLY want to. So come on lady, the guy will propose if he wants, all you can do is talk about the subject, let him know you are ready. That's it.
Carolyn Hax: I disagree. If the only answer she wants to hear is "yes," then, okay, she shouldn't propose, based on the way we're socialized. But if she is open to other answers, and this is the way she wants to get to those answers, then I think she should heed that instead of simpering in a corner waiting for her Disney birds.
Nowhere: You know, you can talk about marriage without proposing. People like to have big fancy proposals, and while that's not my cup of tea, I also don't see any harm in it. But you can, and in fact, probably should, ask the person you're with what they're thinking about marriage, and then you can make the decision with that person.
And then one day you can go to a ballgame and get the official, romantic proposal you've always dreamed about via Jumbotron.
Carolyn Hax: Which we'll appreciate, because we like a good life-affirming gack-fest between innings/plays. Thanks.
Re Silver Spring, Md.: You could always get a table cloth and some candles and go to McDonalds. When I was in high school, some guys I know didn't have a whole lot of money for prom and did this. The girls loved it.
Carolyn Hax: Three words: "safety in numbers."
Silver Spring, Md.: I think I love my girlfriend. But I'm not sure. It's almost been a year and our first V-Day together. Should I make a big deal about the day especially since I'm not sure if I love her yet?
Carolyn Hax: No. Dinner, but no JumboTron. To thine own ambivalence be true.
Re: "Something More": Carolyn: I think you missed something in the response here. Why, if you know the answer to a question, would you even bother to ask? This sounds like it falls into "testing a partner's truthfullness" territory, which to me screams trust issues. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Carolyn Hax: Around here, that's not a fault, it's a career path.
It looks like you made a nice catch. White Lies person, are you out there? Are you putting someone to a bunch of little tests?
For the record, that would mean trust issues -and- that the other person is not to be counted on. It adds to the problem, doesn't replace it.
"Happy VD?": I need to go home - it took me a few minutes to figure out that this person was wishing you happy Valentine's Day and not a happy STD. Sigh.
Carolyn Hax: No, stay, that's just the kind of thinking we need around here.
Falls Church, Va.: Re: Wife who's doing everything around the house. The langaage of her letter seems revealing: "He grew a pair"; "He follows me around like a puppy." It sounds to me like the husband didn't outgrow his controlling parent, but instead just found himself a new parent, in the form of his wife. He's being infantile, and she's infantilizing him. Certainly, counseling to learn to deal with each other on an adult level sounds like a good idea.
Carolyn Hax: Ding ding ding. Thank you. I was trying to put the puppy and "grew a pair" thing together with the housework, and decided to save it for an adapted column. But, you beat me to it. It makes such sense.
Chicago, Ill.: Maybe it's my sense of Catholic guilt, but I often have trouble with deciphering my motivations for things. While I have good and altruistic reasons for doing something, I fear that there are other motives which are less than pure. For example, I have the chance to study abroad next year. It will be my last chance to do so as a student and I do want to travel and expose myself to different cultures. But there's also a girl there, who I like. So I'm having trouble separating good reasons for doing something and not so good reasons for doing something. Happy Valentine's Day!
Carolyn Hax: Thanks!
When you identify impure thoughts, you don't always have to -do- something about them. It's okay to go abroad, for example, aware of the possibility that you're only going for a girl--and then to make the most of the study opportunity while you're there, whether the girl thing pans out or not. One thing I wouldn't do, though, is bury the impure thought. Make sure it's always out where you can see it, like ... Idunno, an inspiring sculpture. Not so it can hound you at all times, just so you will know it's there and can balance your decisions accordingly.
Also, slightly unrelated, don't chase the girl if she has already blown you off. There are other abroads, I'm sure, where you can expose yourself.
Gut?: What's the diffence between going with your gut and making something out of nothing? Isn't there a possibility that if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it might NOT be a duck? I get confused and end up making the wrong choice half of the time.
Carolyn Hax: That's fine, as long as it's part of the process of calibrating your gut. We develop judgment somehow, right? And one way is to collect all our signals, act on them, find out we drew the wrong conclusion, and go back and have another look at the signals to see what we missed. No one will ever develop perfect judgment, but a realistic objective is to get to the point where we feel we can trust what we're seeing, thinking and feeling.
If you're not getting any better at it, not learning from your mistakes but instead just feeling out-of-sync and lost, then I think the issue is not being able to trust your gut, and the next step there is to figure out why.
Not to suggest that all roads lead to counseling, but when you aren't trusting yourself it can be hard to find a place to start, and a competent therapist can work wonders with this. For those who want to give it a shot on their own, the first step is to look for patterns--in your reactions, in the people you choose, in your family habits. Often the problem is that a pattern or habit supersedes what your own senses are telling you.
The Fraud of Valentine's Day: Full disclosure, I am happily married, and have been for over 10 years. I have never liked Valentine's Day. It seems hokey and manufactured, and reading today's letters, it is depressing for everyone. I feel bad for the people who think they need to be coupled off, or who have to have a specific type of marriage proposal delivered by the man, or who are afraid to give their SO a nice gift just because of the date. People, throw off the Valentine's Day shackles -- it's just another day on the calendar! My 6-year-old made 25 neon yellow (his favorite color) Valentines for his classmates, an effort I completely support. One last thing --- my mother's birthday is today, so whenever I think of Feb. 14, I think of mom.
Carolyn Hax: So why isn't that a sign that it isn't depressing for everyone? You're right that there are still some shackles out there, but you don't have to scrap the whole holiday. You said it yourself--it's just another day on the calendar. What worked yesterday (putting your own mark on whatever you've got) will work today, and what didn't work yesterday (letting Big Outside Forces tell you how you're supposed to feel, think and live) won't work today. You can either hate hokey and manufactured, or you can like a 6-year-old's paper valentines. You can see it as an excuse to bitch, or an excuse to have your discussion on Thursday because you never have Friday off.
Washington, D.C.: To therapy or not to therapy? After kind of a mini-tragic situation this week, I've noticed that I seem to fall for colossal jerks. Ones that make everything your fault and walk all over you for it. I think I know exactly why I do it, I've always been really good at pinpointing the sources of my feelings. I'm wondering if I need therapy, though. Because how weird the government can be with security clearances, I'm afraid to go to therapy for a long time for my man issues if all I need is a good self-help book.
Carolyn Hax: Since your epiphany is recent, you haven't had a chance to road test it yet, to see if it actually affects your behavior. I'd probably suggest that even if you weren't unsure about your clearance, because often just knowing why you do something is enough to get you doing something else.
If after a while you end up back in the same rut, or start to doubt yourself, or otherwise struggle, then I would suggest getting some names of reputable therapists.
By the way, there's no reason it has to be for "a long time"--the course of therapy you need could be one session, three, 10, whatever, depending on the complexity of the problem and on your grasp of it.
Relationship Recipe: You mentioned something in a recent column about someone only wanting (and thus setting themselves up to get) sex and companionship. Is there something more to a relationship than that (and love)? Am I missing something? I have the feeling I am...
Carolyn Hax: Not necessarily. They're pretty good things to have, if (and this is the "if" that pulls out the soapbox) they're based on a mutual respect, understanding and devotion. These are three items on the "something more" list that may be implied by "companionship," but that I don't think people can take for granted. I would also add to that list--and maybe it even stands alone as the third and final item--a sense of partnership, of a shared purpose in life.
It's one thing to talk to someone over dinner, and quite another to know, when you're not saying a damn thing, when you're not even in the same place, that this person is out serving the goals you set together. It's when spouses take the time to do each other's laundry or go to the grocery store or cook the other's favorite dinner. It's not sex, it's not companionship, but it's a really, really big deal.
Re: proposing: I don't know about this one. I have to agree that if she does propose and he says yes there's always going to be a chance that he's just along for the ride and doesn't care. It makes me feel more secure when the guy makes the first move. I used to do it in my younger days but I would always end up with guys who didn't really like me all that much in the end. My longest lasting relationships were always with men who pursued me first.
Carolyn Hax: Can I pull out "in my younger days" and string it in blinking heart lights and hang it over the mantel?
(Most) people grow up. If a guy says "yes" just to go along, he is not a grownup, and the pair was in for rough times regardless of who staged the love ambush. People who both want to be married will want to be married. The indispensable element here is an honest estimation of each other and of the relationship, not a male proposing to a female.
I hate VD (both kinds!): Carolyn,
My husband has been going around telling people he hates Valentine's Day because he doesn't want to be forced to be romantic and he is romantic whenever he is inclined. I try not to pull my hair out and yell "Well pick another day doofus, because forced romance is the only thing I'm getting."
Carolyn Hax: Leave your hair in, don't yell, and say, "We'll pick another day doofus, because forced romance is the only thing I'm getting."
Always call a forehead slapper for what it is.
And, thank you--the (both kinds!) is a thing of beauty. I shall wrap it in a CD case and give it to myself.
Not for Valentine's Day: Carolyn,
I am pregnant with my first baby. I have a co-worker who has multiple times made comments like "you might want to come back sooner" or "staying home might get old" and I've sort of laughed it off, but it's starting to annoy me. I think this is just her issue, that she can't imagine staying home with a baby, but I actually am looking forward to taking every bit of my three months off. Should I address this with her or just let it roll off my back?
Carolyn Hax: Try B, and if that fails resort to A--but in the, "Is there something you're trying to tell me?" way, not in the, "I actually am looking forward to taking every bit of my three months off" way. That's just shaking happy red pompoms at a bull.
You will find that a lot of what you think pre-baby will seem naive post-baby--and while that means a lot also won't have been naive, the people who like to think they know everything will jump knowingly upon the one or two things you did happen to get wrong. Because, I don't know, they're still bitter about feeling clueless when they went through it and when their officemates never let them forget how naive they were.
If this doesn't make sense now, it will after you have the baby (haw haw. Sorry).
I think I live in Stupid too: So often on my way home from work, I think of things I'd like to discuss with my husband. I talk it out and try to see both sides (of course, my perception of his side). But by the time I get home, the issue just doesn't seem important anymore -- I think I was probably just blowing it out of proportion. Except the same issues seem to keep crossing my mind. So, my question, how do I bring up to my husband during the day that I want to talk with him later -- without it sounding ominous -- and thus forcing myself not to talk "me" out of talking about it?
Carolyn Hax: I would love a postcard from there (you write on the front and the picture goes on the back?).
It seems as if you're leaving out a third option, talking about something as it comes up when you're with your husband.
Maybe you need time to process things and don't realize you're upset until well after the fact? But in that case, I would just put a note in your pocket to talk about something, so you have a reminder. Dropping a "We need to talk," while it would force your hand in a way that you seem to want, does potentially introduce a lot of stress in the other person's day.
Dark, Sunless Seattle: When is it time to go back into therapy? I'm unemployed, pregnant, and want to cry half of the time. Some of this is very situtational, I've been job hunting for eight months after my husband was transferred from D.C. and just have had no luck. I've had to start looking in a field I'm good at, but don't like. We've had a bunch of deaths in the family, including my MiL from a probable suicide. Oh, and there are the tons of hormones in my system and the never-ending morning sickness. I suffered from depression for a dozen years in my teens and twenties before finding an awesome therapist. Part of me thinks I'll get better as soon as I get a job, don't like the idea of having to start from scratch with a new person, and feels like a failure if this is a genuine relapse. On the other hand, if I feel like this before birth, what's going to happen after? Please advise.
Carolyn Hax: How is relapsing a failure? You've had depression before, so you know it's not all a matter of the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps cure. You also know your body is doing funky things while you're using it to grow another person--all kinds of chemicals you're not used to processing. And you know you have some emotionally draining things going on, which you can't necessarily dump all over your husband because he's got a serious emotional drain of his own in the aftermath of his mother's probable suicide. Okay, so you got on top of your depression before, but this is now an entirely new set of circumstances.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that all of your weepiness, not just some, is situational. What's wrong with finding a safe place to talk about it and sort it all out? Why not get a tune-up? Your husband needs you, your baby needs you, you need you, and that means you need to take care of yourself, and that means you scrape up your courage and ask for help. Thats' success, not failure. Your OB, by the way, is a good one to ask for a referral. Going through someone you know could make the "start from scratch" a little less of a burden.
Parenting Problems: Hi Carolyn,
My husband is a great guy, but he's been a really lousy dad to our 3 year old. His own father and step-father left a lot to be desired. He expects our toddler to act much older and more mature than he's capable of. My husband has never hit our son or put him down, but he does have a really short string when dealing with him. He yells a lot and gets frustrated if my son sings a song or wants a story over and over (as toddlers are prone to do).
It breaks my heart because my son is already working so hard for his dad's approval. It's also affecting my parenting because I'm turning into a big softee to counteract my husband's rigidness.
I'm at a loss. I think my husband has such great potential as a dad. But I don't want this current behavior to affect my son any more than it already is.
Carolyn Hax: Complex problem, simplistic answer, but--parenting class. Do your homework to find a good one (your pediatrician's office and your child-care center, if you have one, are good places to start). This way you'll have a neutral third party making the key points, instead of an emotionally charged you trying to balance love and support with criticism. You don't even have to say he's the reason you're signing up, just tell him it's important to you and do it. If he presses, just say you're noticing you and he have different styles, which you know can be tough on kids.
It may seem like I'm advising you to be evasive, and I guess technically I am, but I'd rather call it being humble. You don't want to cast yourself in the role of expert to his novice. You're just the one seeing that something is off, then you can use the class to help you figure out if you're right and what you can do about it.
Silver Spring, Md.: I knitted my boyfriend a pair of mittens. Is it OK to shove them into a Whole Foods grocery bag instead of wrapping them?
Carolyn Hax: When you knit mittens, you earn the right to shove vs wrapping.
That's it. Sorry for the end-of-session slowdown; got tired on that last answer or two. See youse next week, have a great weekend and thanks for making this VD extra special.
Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.
View all comments that have been posted about this article.


text:
Osakis running duo dominates Eagles
The New York Mills Eagles snapped a season-starting seven-quarter scoring drought on a Charlie Peeters quarterback sneak for a touchdown, but that was the only home score in a 32-7 defeat at the hands of the Osakis Silverstreaks.
"Osakis is a very physical football team and they really run hard and get off the line of scrimmage," Eagles Head Coach Matt Radniecki said.
Streaks running backs Brian Thorstad and Mitchell Herzog did most of the damage rushing for over 200 yards and four touchdowns combined.
Thorstad scored on runs of 50 yards and from three yards out.
Herzog scored from short and goal from the five and from the three for his two scores.
Down 26-0 in the fourth quarter, the Eagles started a drive from their own 38. Peeters hit Shane Novak on a screen pass for 25 yards. A pass interference call bumped the Eagles to the Osakis 18.
Another flag on Osakis for offsides put the Eagles at the 13-yard-line.
Six plays later on third and goal Peeters plowed through the middle of the line for six and the first points of the Eagles season.
Brandon Kupfer's extra point kick was good.
"I was happy how we played and I feel that we improved this week," Radniecki said. "Osakis is a very good football team and we got better."
Unlike the opening game of the season, the Eagles were in the red zone three times with chances to score.
Near the end of the first quarter, Peeters went 3-4 passing for 48 yards on a drive that started at the NY Mills 39.
The Eagles faced a second and goal from the eight when Thorstad sacked Peeters for a loss of 12 yards.
A screen pass to Nick LeTourneau for six yards set up a fourth down field goal attempt.
The Eagles attempted a fake but a pass to Noah Pesola fell incomplete near the end of the first quarter.
The first half ended in similar fashion with the Eagles at the Silverstreaks' seven-yard-line.
A punt snap sailed over the head of Osakis punter Jordan Frederick at the 20 setting up the Eagles in the red zone.
An eight-yard pass to Pesola and a first down run by Tyler Patron made for first and goal at the 10.
Two short runs by Novak and an incomplete pass just over the outstretched arms of Pesola brought out the field goal unit.
Kupfer's 25-yard attempt was blocked with 1:32 remaining in the first half.
"We were so close getting inside the red zone three times and only coming away with one touchdown."
Osakis converted on some big fourth down plays and that kept their drives going leading to eventual scores.
"They also made the big play something that we were close to doing but came up short. We had some chances. We are competing but we have to take the next step and make some big plays and win a few games."
NY Mills (0-2) travels to Royalton (1-1) next Friday night.
The Eagles junior varsity squad lost to Pillager 16-0 and followed that up with a 16-12 ninth-grade win over Osakis this week.
"The kids are learning and it was nice for them to get a win over Osakis on the freshmen/sophomore level."
Game notes: Captain Sam Slieter was not suited up Friday night after suffering a partial dislocated knee in practice last week. His return for the season is questionable.
Scoring by quarter:
Osakis 6 8 12 6 32
O- Brian Thorstad 50 run (Kick failed)
O- Mitchell Herzog 5 run (Herzog run)
O- Herzog 3 run (Conversion failed)
O- Kyle Swenstad 47 pass from Cody Rupert (Conversion failed)
NYM- Charlie Peeters 1 run (Brandon Kupfer kick)
O- Thorstad 3 yd run - 2 pt conversion failed
Game statistis:
1st Downs: NYM-7; O-13
Yds - Rushing NYM: 28-48, 1 TD; O:43-231, 4 TD
Yds - Passing NYM: 9-20-110; O: 4-8 78, 1 TD
Turnovers -- NYM: 1; O: 2
Penalities -- NYM: 3-15yds; O: 7-65
Total yards -- NYM: 158 yds; O: 307
Individual stats- Charlie Peeters 9-20 1 rushing TD, Shane Novak 3 rec. 69 yds, 3 rec 21 yds, Taylor Ericksrud 2 rec 17 yds, Tyler Patron 7-23 yds, Leading tackler: Noah Pesola with 7 and Novak with 7.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Travis Mollohan, a long-time aide to U.S. Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., has been selected as director of state, corporate and community relations for West Virginia University.
Mollohan, whose appointment was effective Aug. 5, has worked for Manchin in campaign, gubernatorial and senatorial roles since his 2005 graduation from WVU with a degree in political science. His most recent assignment was as director of constituent services in the Charleston office.
Mollohan, a Braxton County native, will be based in Morgantown.


text: Many exciting things are happening this week. We've got 3D printed hot rod models, heatproofing using 3D printing and car parts manufactured with 3D printing. 3D Printables of the Week Maybe your bike needs a rearview mirror? The Gripper Thumb is a radical improvement for desktop 3D printed prosthetics. A...Read more


text:
Mar 29, 2012 Jennifer Wing Uncategorized
After a total of 24 years on the Minoa Village Board, Ronald L. Cronk sat in the front of the boardroom for the last time Monday, March 19.
Though it was a bittersweet moment in his political career, Cronk lightened the mood with a jab at a fellow board member.
"Eight years ago, when you ran for the board," he told Trustee Eric Christensen, "you wrote a letter saying you weren't going to be a 'yes man' like the other trustees. Then, all you did was say yes … 773 times you voted in the affirmative."
He also presented a photo taken by his son of the last fighter jet fly-by over Minoa during the Memorial Day Parade in 2010. The photo will hang in village hall.
He cautioned the board to take a closer look at hydrofracking, which he fears will end up polluting the ground water.
"There are definitely more cons than pros [with hydrofracking,]" Cronk said. "Remember there is no substitute for clean water."
He also urged the board to look into establishing a code of ethics. "I still believe we need an ethics committee."
He said he enjoyed his tenure at the village, and the people he worked for, reminding the board to "keep every resident in mind."
He closed his farewell speech with the catchphrase, "Thanks for the memories."
Minoa Mayor Richard J. Donovan presented Cronk with his nameplate from the meeting and thanked him for his service, as did the other trustees at the meeting.
Sep 06, 2017 0
Jul 08, 2017 0
Mar 08, 2017 0
Jun 29, 2016 0
Nov 02, 2016
Jan 08, 2013
Feb 04, 2011
Jan 07, 2010
Jun 03, 2011
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017


text:
Naturally Yours
Everyone is invited to celebrate Earth Day by making a difference along the Poudre River, one of Fort Collins natural treasures. Volunteers are needed to plant trees and shrubs on Saturday, April 20 from 9 a.m. to noon. All supplies and training are supplied, no experience is necessary, and families are welcome. Snacks provided. Location and futher details will be provided with registration. Registration is required by calling 970-416-2815 or emailing firstname.lastname@example.com
After the tree planting, come visit the Natural Areas booth at Earth Day Fort Collins at the Gardens on Spring Creek!
A new trailhead at Reservoir Ridge Natural Area is expected to open soon! The parking lot is off of Overland Trail Road, just south of Michaud Lane at 1425 North Overland Trail Road. From the new parking lot, visitors can explore 1.4 miles of flat and easy trail that goes along hay fields, across a wetland slough via a boardwalk and over the Pleasant Valley and Lake Canal using a bridge. The trail connects to the 6.8 mile Foothills Trail. The new Reservoir Ridge Trail is open to hiking, biking, leashed dogs and horseback riding. When it opens, the trail will be open from dawn to dusk and it will be free to visit.
Trail conditions, including when the new trail is open, and closures due to wet and muddy conditions are posted at http://www.fcgov.com/naturalareas/status.php
Tracks & Trails: Your Guide to Free Natural Areas Activities will be back in May with a special 20th anniversary editon. Until then you can learn about events in this e-newsletter or at fcgov.com/naturalareas.
Spring Break Detectives—Finding Nature's Clues, Friday, April 5, arrive anytime between 9:30 and 11:30 a.m. Bobcat Ridge Natural Area. Develop your observation and nature detective skills at this family event! Enjoy several fun, interactive educational stations to explore the natural and cultural features of this site. Bring water to drink, snacks, jackets, and sunscreen. Please carpool if possible to help with parking. Note: dogs are not allowed at Bobcat Ridge. Free, no registration required. For more information, email email@example.com.
Spring Skies, Friday, Friday, April 12, 7:15-10 p.m.at Bobcat Ridge Natural Area, meet at the picnic shelter, 1/8 mile from the parking lot. Enjoy the cresent moon and a brief program about spring constellations followed by skygazing with volunteers from the Northern Colorado Astronomical Society who provide telescopes for public sky viewing. Dress warmly and bring something to sit on. Free, no registration required.
Spring Astronomy Day, Saturday, April 20, 8-10 p.m. at Fossil Creek Reservoir Regional Open Space. Learn about telexscopes and skygazing, see and discover fun facts about the moon, Jupiter and the spring sky. Free, no registration required.
Natural Areas Passport- Celebrate 20 years of natural areas with the Passport to the Natural Areas! It is a checklist of natural areas to visit and free activities. Complete your passport (pdf) or use the online version for a prize and to be entered into a drawing for a backpack full of outdoor supplies. Printed passports are also available at natural area trailheads, the Fort Collins Museum of Discovery and the Natural Areas Department office (1745 Hoffman Mill Road, Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m.-5 p.m.). The passport will be available now through November.
The City of Fort Collins Natural Areas Department, in coordination with The Nature Conservancy, is planning to implement prescribed burns at Bobcat Ridge, Soapstone Prairie, and Reservoir Ridge natural areas, as well as at Fossil Creek Reservoir Regional Open Space. As fuel and weather conditions allow, the prescribed burns will occur between April 8 and May 31. Though conditions may dictate scheduling changes, the first burn is slated for Bobcat Ridge Natural Area on Monday, April 8. The natural area will be closed the day of the burn. Updates will be posted on the Natural Areas trail conditions page, www.fcgov.com/naturalareas/status.php .
You can help shape the vision and planning for our region's outdoor conservation and recreation programs. Our Lands—Our Future is a project that will guide how future open space and natural area tax dollars are spent.
The results of a citizen survey have been released and now planners are asking for futher input through a second survey and an interactive mapping tool.
If your group would like a free presentation about the project, please contact Larimer County Project Manager, Zac Weibe via email: email@example.com
Learn more about Our Lands-Our Future here >>>
It has been two decades since the first citizen-initated sales tax that funds natural areas. Voters have approved sales tax funding four more times since then, thank you! Fort Collins has conserved over 40,000 acres with 39 natural areas to explore and over 100 miles of trail. Everyone is invited to help celebrate the 20th anniversary, join the fun!
April- Celebrate Earth Day by getting your hands dirty and giving back through a volunteer service project (see first story above). Families are invited to a special Spring Break event at Bobcat Ridge Natural Area on April 5 (details above).
May- November Tracks & Trails (Your Guide to Free Activities and Events on Natural Areas) will feature an outstanding season of outdoor fun, service and learning! A junior naturalist booklet and the Natural Areas Passport will be included too. Activities will also be announced here and at www.fcgov.com/naturalareas.
Natural Areas News is published on the first Tuesday of the month with occasional special editions. Newsletter comments are welcome. Please contact Zoe Whyman, City of Fort Collins Natural Areas Community Relations Manager, 970-221-6311 or firstname.lastname@example.com
Back to Natural Areas News Archive »


text:
Today on the MPR News Update we're covering detailed reports about the voting problems in Minneapolis, the pricing policies of companies who want your Christmas shopping business, a new scan for prostate cancer, high schools students who honor Gordon Parks everyday of the year, and more.
VOTING BOTTLENECKS: Long lines at Minneapolis polling sites this November were caused mainly by high turnout and same-day registrations, according to a new report. But ballot machine problems, even faulty ballpoint pens, also caused delays at some polling sites. The report makes more than 20 recommendations, many of which will require legislative action, to fix the problems.
(NOT) ALWAYS LOW PRICES: Apple, Sony, Bose and many other prestigious manufacturers try to keep their prices from falling in a highly competitive retail environment through the use of minimum advertised price policies. The strategy can sometimes put them at odds with retailers such as Best Buy and Target.
GORDON PARKS: This year marks the 100th anniversary of the birth of the late Gordon Parks, a groundbreaking African-American photographer, filmmaker, writer and musician who spent his teen years in St. Paul. Over the past few months, celebrations have been held in places like the Minnesota History Center and the U.S. embassy in Paris. But Gordon Parks High School honors the legacy of the man every day of every year.
PROSTATE SCAN: When treating cancer patients who suffer a second bout of the disease, doctors know catching the recurrence soon is crucial to the patient's chances of survival. It's especially been a challenge with prostate cancer. That's why a new Mayo Clinic scanning technique that helps doctors detect recurring prostate cancers months or even years earlier than before, is receiving considerable attention.
FLU SEASON: Suspected flu cases have jumped in five Southern states, and the primary strain circulating tends to make people sicker than other types. It is particularly hard on the elderly, according to the CDC. The good news is that the nation seems fairly well prepared.
EAR PAIN: Now that it's December, college students are wrapping up their work for the fall semester, turning in final papers and giving their final presentations. Gary Dop will be one of the professors listening to those presentations, and over the years he's sat through some memorably bad ones. So he's written a poem to help them head off their mistakes.
COLD SPRING SHOOTING: Cold Spring police Officer Tom Decker, who was killed last week in what authorities say was an ambush, once helped Lisa Stukey when she feared an intruder was inside her home. So she organized a candlelight vigil so she could thank the officer "one last time." Meantime, authorities still don't have enough evidence to charge his suspected killer.
ARMED AND SLEEPING: In October, a Richfield police officer responding to a call of a suspicious vehicle. It turns out the 26-year-man who was asleep in the driver's seat had been convicted of multiple felonies including assault with a dangerous weapon and possession of stolen property. Now, a search warrant made public shows that 19 shotguns and rifles, as well as boxes of ammunition, were in the van.
CARP SUIT TOSSED: A federal judge Monday threw out a lawsuit filed by five states, including Minnesota, that want barriers placed in Chicago-area waterways to prevent Asian carp from invading the Great Lakes, but said he would consider new arguments if the case were filed again.
MORE CLIFF NOTES: With the Jan. 1 "fiscal cliff" looming and the government eager to find ways to boost revenue collection, might popular tax deductions be in danger? John Friedman, an assistant professor of public policy at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government, will join The Daily Circuit today to talk about it. Also joining the program will be Eugene Steuerle, a fellow at the Urban Institute. Click here later today to hear audio from the show.
INTELLIGENCE SQUARED: Should we legalize drugs? Supporting the proposition in this debate are Paul Butler, a former federal prosecutor and professor of law at Georgetown, and Nick Gillespie, editor-in-chief of Reason.tv and Reason.com. Opposing are former DEA and administrator Asa Hutchinson, and Theodore Dalrymple, a retired prison doctor and Dietrich Weismann Fellow at the Manhattan Institute. Click here later to hear the debate.
FACEOFF: National Hockey League players and owners try something new today in an effort to end the NHL lockout: The two sides are meeting face-to-face, without mediators and without the usual group of union leaders and owner representatives who've so far failed to reach an agreement.
JOB CREATORS: The Shakopee City Council is considering a proposal tonight from Emerson Electronics to bring about 500 jobs to the city. The company would take over an existing facility that's been empty for 13 years under a proposal.


text:
Adidas ClimaWarm Wind fabric? What is it?
Anyone know what this material is or how well this jacket works? Pretty good price, I was thinking about picking one up. Thoughts? Experiences with it?
I'm not familiar with the material myself. A quick search on Adidas site lists it as the following:
"ClimaWarm® is lightweight, breathable insulation that keeps you dry and comfortable in cold weather conditions by using densely woven synthetic fibres to trap warm air close to the skin. While these fibres are dense enough to trap air, they are spaced far enough apart to easily allow heat-sapping sweat to escape through evaporation."
Which from the description sounds like a bicomponent weave softshell, similar to schoeller wb400. If it is, then it would be a great jacket for the price. Then again, it might be something totally different with nice marketing fluff. For the price even if its poor fabric, you'll most likely find enough uses over the course of a year to make it a decent buy.
I know this is an old thread but in case someone is looking for "Climawarm" again and comes across this thread I wanted to add my 2 cents. I bought this jacket on sale and cannot believe what a great find it was. It's lightweight and warm but what I didn't realize was that it was rainproof. I got caught in a cold, drenching rainstorm in winter while riding home. I was wearing a climawarm bike jacket from Addidas and stayed completely dry and warm in 30 minutes of riding. I was so impressed I'm googling to see where I can buy more stuff made of this fabric.
|All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:42 PM.


text:
referencia : BD490216
Our fastest-placing ice screws.BLACK DIAMOND
The easiest and fastest placing ice screws on the planet, the Black Diamond Express Ice Screw features a tapered tube where the teeth cut a hole just larger than the tube itself, for less friction during placements.
A large, color-coded crank knob makes for easy size identification and uninterrupted 360-degree motion.
Buy six or more screws, receive 10% off!
- Larger crank knobs with uninterrupted 360˚ motion
- Advanced tooth geometry for easier starting and faster placements
- Stainless steel hangers with two clip points
- Available in five lengths, color-coded for quick indexing
- CE certified, patented


text:
Top 10 Tech Legal Trends to Watch for 2015- Part 1
2014 is rapidly drawing to a close, and it's time to look to what the new year will likely hold in terms of trends in technology and entertainment law. Here's the first installment of issues that I think will be trending in these areas of law, or in some cases will continue to be trends in 2015:
1. Privacy.
From the data breaches at Target, Home Depot and other major retailers this year to the current Sony Pictures hacking scandal, data privacy will continue to be a big issue for companies and consumers in 2015. Look for lawmakers to try to find solutions in both federal and state law, and for consumers to continue to find better ways to protect their data.
2. gTLDs.
Speaking of hacking, it was revealed this week that the Internet Company for Assigned Names and Numbers itself had been a victim to the efforts of hackers. As you may have seen this year, a major issue for brand owners was the roll out of the new generic top level domain (gTLD) program. While recent years have involved a lot of crystal ball gazing to see what the future might hold as these new domains are introduced, this year actually saw many of them being introduced. In addition, the disputes over domains that were in contention by more than one party have largely been resolved through auctions, so there will be more new gTLDs than ever being introduced. Though it will be interesting to see how the .press and other domains are used by businesses and brand owners, I think I'm most anxious to see what results from the introduction of my favorite new gTLD, which is .sucks. .enjoy!
3. Projects using real life people
Among the many issues related to the ongoing international crisis that is the Sony Pictures hacking situation is that of the potential consequences of using the identities or personas of real people in fictional works. Right of publicity issues have taken on greater importance in recent years, and 2014 was certainly no exception, with the ramifications of former UCLA basketball player Ed O'Bannon's antitrust lawsuit against the NCAA for its use of not only his likeness in television broadcasts and video games, but those of potentially thousands of other NCAA athletes looming large on the future of the organization. While these works can be defended on the grounds of parody or fair use, it's important to keep in mind that if you are at a point where you are discussing these defenses, it likely means you are trying to ward off a lawsuit, or have already been threatened with one. While these situations are typically fact and personality specific as to the potential consequences, it is definitely advised that creators seek the advice of counsel before pursuing the use of the names, likenesses, voices or other identifying characteristics of real life people in commercial projects.
4. CalOPPA
Speaking of real life people, like many states, California regulators have been increasingly concerned about the privacy of its residents online. California implemented the law known as the California Online Privacy Protection Act, or CalOPPA in 2003, and has been making headlines in its efforts to enforce the law, which among other things requires app and website operators to conspicuously post privacy policies on apps and websites. While I understand that design is an important aspect of the work that app and web designers do, I would recommend that designers start finding ways to make the conspicuous of privacy policies and terms of service part of the design plan as a way to keep themselves and their clients in compliance with CalOPPPA and other regulations. In addition, the recent amendments to CalOPPA that are going into effect on January 1, 2015, call for website operators to implement a 'delete button' feature that will require them to implement mechanisms that would allow minors to request that their information be deleted from the site, as well as provide minors with notice of this ability to delete online content and instructions on how to do so. Yet another amendment prohibits operators from marketing certain categories of products or services to minors online. Amendments like these highlight the importance of treating a website's privacy policy and terms of service as living documents that must be tended to and updated as laws change.
5. Kids' privacy
And to round out the top 5, we're back to privacy. While it may seem like splitting hairs to some, to parents and regulators, the privacy of children in the internet is a whole separate area of concern. In addition to the changes coming as part of CalOPPA, it is likely that the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) will continue to monitor apps and websites for COPPA compliance, as well as amend the law to better protect children online. It is also likely that companies like Facebook will continue to lobby for the loosening of COPPA and similar regulations in favor of letting companies develop their own mechanisms for protecting children online. Recent FTC settlements with TinyCo and Yelp over COPPA violations illuminated areas of concern for the agency, which primarily focused on the collection and handling of data gathered by apps targeted at children. In the case of Yelp, the FTC noted that while the site had the proper COPPA mechanisms in place on its full website, it was the lack of such a mechanism on the site's mobile app that brought the attention of the agency.
What other issues do you think will be big in 2015? We'll be listing the rest of the top 10 tomorrow, and as always welcome your insights.


text:
Image copyright:
Please sign in to comment. Don't have a profile? Join now! Joining is absolutely free and no personal information is required.
Thank you Judy for your lovely comment. So happy you to enjoy the colors, the effects and the design.PJ
PJ, I absolutely agree with Jan, and also appreciate the luscious colors; they look like ribbons to me. I also like the 3D effect with the designs and what looks to be gems in the middle. Great effects and a popular puzzle. Congrats!
Oh Jan - thank you for your nice comment. Glad you enjoyed the rolling effect and the patterns - so do I.PJ
PJ - This was great fun. I especially love how the top and bottom edges appear to roll over because of the shiny effect. And the patterns are wonderful. Thank you so much!2:03


text:
VII. Conclusions
Power quality has become a major concern of both electricity providers and their customers. For customers, the economic impact of power disturbances can range from several hundred dollars to repair or replace home appliances to millions of dollars in product losses, production losses, and cleanup. For utilities, system disturbances can lead to customer dissatisfaction and load and revenue losses.
Software and hardware for efficient, accurate, and economic power quality monitoring are needed for both utilities and customers. Identification and classification of voltage and current disturbances in power systems is the key task for power quality monitoring and protection. Existing automatic recognition methods need much improvement in terms of their versatility, reliability, and accuracy.
This project develops state of the art signal classification algorithms for classifying different types of power quality disturbances, based on the recent advances in signal processing and pattern recognition techniques. The goals of this project are to enhance the real-time power system protection and accumulate statistics of real power quality data. The contents of the thesis include an introduction to power quality, development of two new power quality classification algorithms, simulation results, a demonstration software, discussions of several post-processing techniques, explanation of data resources of this project, and discussion of a new classier under exploration - hidden Markov models (HMM). The emphasis of this thesis is the development of two new classification algorithms. The first method, which extracts features from disturbance signals by class-dependent TFRs, is a new class of power quality classification approach. In the proposed algorithm, the concept of class-dependent time-frequency representations (TFR) is used for feature extraction and a feedforward neural network is chosen as the classifier. The basic idea is to design a TFR for our specific classification task. The TFR needs to be class-dependent, instead of signal-dependent. The design of this TFR starts from the signal's time-frequency ambiguity plane. A class-dependent kernel is designed by a large set of training examples based on the Fisher's Discriminant kernel. The desired TFR is obtained by array multiplying the designed class-dependent kernel with the time-frequency ambiguity plane. Extensive testing with simulated signals confirms the feasibility, high recognition rate, and computation efficiency of the proposed algorithm. A six-class classification simulation gives us the following recognition rates: 100% for harmonics, 100% for capacitor high frequency switching transients, 100% for voltage swell, 94% for capacitor low frequency switching transients, 92% for voltage sudden sag, and 93% for voltage sag decay. This approach is a new class method for discriminating PQ events. One of the major characteristics of this algorithm is the utilization the class-dependent time-frequency representations, which are designed solely for our classification task. Therefore, there is a high potential of adapting this methology for discriminating more sophisticated types of PQ events. An algorithm demonstration software is developed using Matlab GUI (Graphic User Interface) tools.
This new method and the algorithm demonstration software show promise for further development of a fully automated and highly efficient real-time power quality monitoring system with a high recognition rate. Currently, the creation of a power quality database is in progress, through our own signal recording and simulations and several developing industrial partnerships. Modification and explorations on the classification algorithms are being done to adapt these advanced techniques onto real power system data and the cause-effect identifications of power quality problems, which will bring up significant help to utility companies. At the same time, thrust towards hardware implementation of these new signal processing algorithms is being considered.


text: On Tue, Jul 01, 2003 at 02:46:58AM -0500, Stephan Sauerburger wrote: > So how can one have the for loop separate the elements of the list only by > newlines ("\n"), filling the contents of "file" with the whole line, > and not separate by spaces, tabs, or other white space? This has been asked and answered a few times in the past. There are several ways to do it. Here is one: #!/bin/sh IFS=$'\n' for FILE in `ls -1`; do echo $FILE done -- Jamin W. Collins


text:
- Browse Reviews:
- Brands
- DSLRs
- Cameras
- Lenses
- Accessories
- Film
- Software
Home | Reviews | Cameras | Digital Cameras | Above 10 Megapixel | Samsung
Samsung AQ100 Above 10 Megapixel
Product Description
AQ100's delivers the vivid colors with 12.2 megapixel CCD and its powerful 5x optical zoom lens supports you to take more details in a distance, so you can capture the world as a new way you've never met. AQ100 is an essential item for your vacation. With its anti-dust system AQ100 is useful in various conditions even in the desert. Sands in the beach or in the deserts, waters in the rain or in the snow, whatever you need to do is just capture the fun. AQ100 assures perfect shots in any situation. You can capture the fun in the water up to 3 meters.
User Reviews
Submitted by photofa a Casual
Date Reviewed: July 7, 2011
Strengths: It seemed like a nice durable camera. The photo quality seemed ok. I liked the design.
Weaknesses: No super macro
the camera froze up or "crashed" when I took several photos in a few minutes.
The body also got very warm when it froze
Bottom Line:
I ended up returning this camera. It froze up on me. None of the buttons would work including the power button. I had to pop the battery out to get it to turn off.
It has no super macro mode.
I did not get a chance to test it in the water.
Seemed like a nice camera until it froze
Expand full review >>
Duration Product Used: 11-20 years
Price Paid: $200.00
Purchased At: Wal-mart
Similar Products Used: Olympus sw720
Olympus 3000
Type of photography: Outdoor
Holiday Gift Guide 2013
Check out our holiday gift suggestions for these categories!
See All Holiday Gift Guide coverage - Click Here »
PhotographyReview Videos


text:
Forgot your password? Enter the email address you signed up with and we will send you a link to create a new password.
Your password reset has been submitted to the address provided.
Design plus words, letters, and/or numbers
Blank smart cards; Card readers for credit cards; Electronic and magnetic ID cards for use in connection with payment for services. Electronic dynamic barcode display
Business in Charleston, SC


text:
Rapid Evaluation of Pandemic H1N1 Influenza Vaccines in Young Children
This study has been completed.
University of British Columbia
ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier:
First Posted: October 23, 2009
Last Update Posted: April 15, 2015
Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR)
PHAC/CIHR Influenza Research Network
Information provided by (Responsible Party):
University of British Columbia
- Full Text View
- Tabular View
- No Study Results Posted
- Disclaimer
- How to Read a Study Record
No Study Results Posted on ClinicalTrials.gov for this Study
|Study Status:
|This study has been completed.
|Study Completion Date:
|February 2010
|Primary Completion Date:
|February 2010 (Final data collection date for primary outcome measure)
Scheifele DW, Ward BJ, Dionne M, Vanderkooi O, Langley JM, Dobson S, Li Y, Law B, Halperin SA; Public Health Agency of Canada/Canadian Institutes of Health Research Influenza Research Network (PCIRN) Rapid Trials Investigators. Evaluation of adjuvanted pandemic H1N1(2009) influenza vaccine after one and two doses in young children. Pediatr Infect Dis J. 2011 May;30(5):402-7. doi: 10.1097/INF.0b013e3182068f33.


text:
Mumbai: Disappointed with the closing down of Parle-G's iconic factory in Mumbai's Vile Parle area, the residents of the area recall the sweet aroma of freshly baked biscuits in the area and said they would miss the fragrance.
The 87-year-old factory, which had become synonymous with Vile Parle station, is being shut down due to lowering production output.
In fact, the company Parle is named after Vile Parle, as its first manufacturing unit opened here.
"I have been living here for the last 45 years. We have been living in the vicinity of this factory and eating Parle biscuits since childhood. We are very disappointed that factory is being closed. When coming on train we get this aroma of biscuits, and we come to know that station is here. We will miss it," said Suryakant Gogawale, one of the residents living near the factory.
"My father has been living here for the last 60-65 years. Now that the factory is being closed the area will become deserted. We used to get good aroma of biscuits and chocolates, that has stopped now," another resident, Bharat, told ANI.
The aroma of, Parle G, being baked in the factory very close to the station made a journey through Vile Parle a memorable experience.
The news of factory's closure has also left the Parle G fans across the nation sad, as they took to sharing their dismay on social media. (ANI)


text:
Credit Advice
Have a question? Have advice to share? The combined knowledge and experience of everyone in the Credit Karma community can help you. Enter your question or help others below to get started!
QuestionPosted in Bankruptcy
Question By
0 People Helped
All Responses
4499 People Helped
Filing bankruptcy does not immediately remove accounts from your credit report. Those accounts will show for approximately 7 years, then disappear. Collections also will show, then drop after 7 years. If you thought bankruptcy would improve your credit, you are sadly mistaken. Your credit is hurt for the next 10 years.
Reply to this Question
Write your response:
The Credit Advice pages of the Site may contain messages submitted by users over whom Credit Karma has no control. Credit Karma cannot guarantee the accuracy, integrity or quality of any such messages. Some users may post messages that are misleading, untrue or offensive. You must bear all risk associated with your use of the Credit Advice pages and should not rely on messages in making (or refraining from making) any specific financial or other decisions.


text:
We have updated our Privacy Policy and encourage you to read it by clicking here.
Why should a company's governance model matter to technical IT professionals working in the land of Cube or, at best, in the back rooms?
Because....an illogical governance model pretty much guarantees organizational dysfunction and a more or less toxic workplace culture. It leads directly and inevitably to a somewhat twisted management and operational structure and to some poor souls fighting it out among the cubes or boardrooms....or banging their heads on their desks over some idiotic management decision that, from their perspective, flies in the face of all reason.
This is not to say the company automatically crashes and burns - not so - just that it's a harder place to work in than it needs to be and the organization itself is significantly less likely to fly like the eagle it could be.
The saying goes that 'when there are more than two people together in a room you have politics". The reality of 'politics' is regularly dismissed, undervalued or misunderstood by those inclined toward technical specializations. They see it as a euphemism for 'they're ALL CRAZY'.
This interpretation is just plain wrong and it can lead to bad things for the IT person holding the view. They end up working with incomplete data/information, doing poor analyses and often creating and then having to deal with more communication problems than they can shake a stick at.
People get confused and frustrated. People quit or get fired. Serious stuff.
"Techies" (a term of respect) typically value logic and prefer to work with things that can be seen, touched and measured. They are 'doers' by nature and inclination and, as technology itself demands a specific kind of logic, it's a match made in heaven. They often make the assumption that managers and executives work on the same model. Some do. Some don't. Straight line logic is a nice-to-have but not always the top, 'go to' component of the management/executive decision-making toolkit.
Management is more about power than logic and both governance structure and key relationships determine how power is assigned, used, shared, lost, won and grown.
If the governance structure of your organization is flawed, no amount of negotiations or relationship/problem resolution meetings at the management level (below executive) can fix it. It needs to be fixed at the executive level – period. If there's no will to fix it at that level, there will be on-going strife as managers fight amongst themselves in an effort to fill an executive vacuum. They will inevitably provide poor or contradictory direction to their technical cadres: nothing personal. They're doing the best they can in a no-win scenario.
Naturally, the quality or competence of specific managers can also have an impact. If, however, a changing of the guard doesn't result in significant workplace cultural improvement - it could well be a governance problem. In some cases, the executive group will replace every last one of the management/middle-management tier - good and bad, more than once - before they'll admit it's a governance problem i.e. THEIR problem. C'est la vie.
Here are a few things to consider and a few coping strategies:
Have a lovely day.


text:
Published on November 21st, 2011 | by Jules Yap1
Child's primitive step stool
Materials: RAST bedside table
Description: Have had this RAST bedside table standing for a long time now, waiting to be hacked to a play kitchen inspired by the many seen in here…but I never had any time to do that.
Since my boy now is at that age where he's about to learn to wash his hands etc. by himself he of course lacks the height to reach the bathroom sink.
I have seen these lovely stools on Etsy that I wanted to make myself and found some free plans for something like it online.
Roughly how it's made:
I used one top and one side for this stool + all the screws (forgot to glue which was intended), so basically there can be made two stools out of one RAST bedside table if you purchase extra screws.
I used at table saw for all the cuts but a jigsaw or hand saw could do it. Two drills (5.5 mm and 7 mm) is needed if you plan to reuse the screws.
I also made it as tall as possible to fit under our bathroom cabinets (about 8.5″).
I plan to fill all holes and paint it so it looks old and very used – the pic's are taken before sanding and just after assembling.
~ Kathrine Petersen, Iceland
One Response to Child's primitive step stool
We use just like this in Algeria under our adult butts while dining on low table. Love them!


text:
Telecommunications vendor Polycom filed an interesting blog post Tuesday about the possibility for videoconferencing to reduce recidivism in prison inmates and save money for state and federal government.
The post cites reports from Minnesota and Florida that found regular visits by family members can reduce the likelihood of a released inmate returning to prison by 10 percent or more. That translated into reduced costs for those states' justice systems.
Visiting incarcerated family members can be difficult, though, because prisoners are often housed far away from their families and the security for in-person visits is costly for the state and burdensome for visitors.
The post suggests setting up video teleconferencing systems for prisoners to meet with family members more frequently and at less expense.
There's no clear evidence video meetings would be as effective at reducing recidivism as in-person visits. Neither the Florida study nor the Minnesota study addressed the question. The idea would appear to be an easy win, though, in government's quest to save money through smart technology.
Visits with friends and family members -- presumably the most beneficial -- could even be managed through a free service such as Skype, assuming prison officials could tack on reliable technology to monitor the calls, which is also commercially available.
[To be clear: This post is not meant to endorse any particular products, Polycom's or any other company's.]
recommended for you
Joseph Marks
Joseph Marks covers cybersecurity for Nextgov. He previously covered cybersecurity for Politico, intellectual property for Bloomberg BNA and federal litigation for Law360. He covered government technology for Nextgov during an earlier stint at the publication and began his career at Midwestern newspapers covering everything under the sun. He holds a bachelor's degree in English from the University of Wisconsin in Madison and a master's in international affairs from Georgetown University.


text:
Terry Anderson, Donald Leal
Wed, 01/14/2015
Packed with examples, rather than theory, Free Market Environmentalism for the Next Generation offers new chapters, new authors, and compelling new stories of environmental entrepreneurs at work.
Terry Anderson, Donald Leal
Fri, 05/22/2015
In part II of this article series, Anderson and Leal show how climate entrepreneurs aren't just talking about the weather; they are doing something about it.
Terry Anderson, Donald Leal
Fri, 05/22/2015
Anderson and Leal take on the issue of climate policy and explain why dynamic markets provide the best hope for human interaction with dynamic environments.
Terry Anderson, Donald Leal
Mon, 03/02/2015
On Monday, March 2nd, we celebrated Free Market Environmentalism for the Next Generation with a book launch at the Hoover Institution in Washington. Featured panelists were IJ's Chip Mellor, the Nature Conservancy's Kameran Onley, and the Wall Street Journal's Kim Strassel.
Reed Watson, Greg Sauer
Tue, 12/10/2013
What does "nickel pig iron" have to do with free market environmentalism? It provides an excellent example of how markets and, in particular, rising commodity prices spur innovation and resource conservation.
Reed Watson, Greg Sauer
Fri, 08/02/2013
Roman Polanski's 1974 classic Chinatown starring Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway demonized water transfers in Southern California as the scam de jure of corrupt politicians and greedy land speculators. Hollywood's connection to reality is often a tenuous one, and Chinatown is no exception.
Donald Leal
Thu, 11/15/2012
Captain Mark Lundsten explains how catch shares changed his life as a fisherman.
Donald Leal
Thu, 06/23/2011
Despite oil spills, hurricanes and a long history of misguided federal rules, Texas' commercial fishermen are doing better than ever thanks to new management based on free-market principles and local control.
Donald Leal
Tue, 05/17/2011
Donald Leal
Tue, 06/01/2010
Scarcely a week goes by in which we do not hear or read some distressing news about overfishing in ocean fisheries. Such news comes at a time when the world has witnessed a phenomenal productivity boom in agricultural use of land.


text:
Alberto Ascari crashed his Lancia into the harbour at Monaco on this day, just as he looked in with a chance of winning the grand prix. Early race leader Juan Manuel Fangio retired with a bent axle early on, leaving his Mercedes team-mate Stirling Moss to take the lead. But when Moss's engine blew on lap 81, Ascari, who was set to take the lead, was distracted and skidded at the chicane, bounced off a stone wall and plunged through sandbags into the Mediterranean. He emerged unharmed and swam to safety, leaving Maurice Trintignant's Ferrari to take the lead and the eventual win. Just four days later Ascari, who had emerged from the water with no more than a broken nose, died testing a Ferrari sports car on Monza's high speed banking. On the evening of the Monaco Grand Prix he wondered to Fangio if his star was setting.
An exciting Monaco Grand Prix proved that overtaking on the streets of the principality in modern F1 cars is not impossible. Kimi Raikkonen dominated from the start but behind him his title rival Fernando Alonso came under attack from the in-form Williams of Nick Heidfeld and Mark Webber. Both drivers managed to pass Alonso at the harbour chicane as the Renault driver's Michelin tyres went off. Michael Schumacher then pulled off a similar move on his team-mate Rubens Barrichello on the final lap, before going on to challenge his brother Ralf as he crossed the line.
The first race to take place on the revised and shortened Spa Francorchamps circuit was won by Alain Prost. Controversy reigned at the start after an aborted getaway saw the drivers complete just a single lap before coming back to the grid to be topped up with fuel (not allowed under the regulations). When the mess was finally sorted out, Andrea de Cesaris led off the line from Prost and Patrick Tambay. De Cesaris lost position during the mid-race pit stops and then an engine blow up ruled him out of contention entirely. Prost assumed the lead and led Tambay home, winning by over 20 seconds.
A rather dull Dutch Grand Prix was won by Wolfgang von Trips and Ferrari. The race went down in history as the only F1 race ever where all the cars that started managed to finish the race without making a pit stop. However, it was a close call as on the last lap Richie Ginther narrowly avoided an accident when the throttle on his Ferrari stuck wide open.
Jackie Stewart took the second grand prix victory of his career, winning by 40 seconds on the streets of Monaco. John Surtees had led the race early on but retired with differential failure on lap 15, handing the lead to Stewart. Jim Clark provided the afternoon's entertainment, coming from the back of the field to fifth after a bad start. However, it was all in vain, as on lap 60 he retired with suspension failure.
Jody Scheckter won the Monaco Grand Prix for Wolf ahead of the two Ferraris of Niki Lauda and Carlos Reutemann. From second on the grid Scheckter beat the Brabham of John Watson into the first corner and never looked likely to relinquish his lead. It was the Canadian team's second grand prix victory that season and Scheckter went on to win one more and take second place in the championship. The Wolf team never won again after 1977.
Michael Schumacher finally gave in to environmentalists and decided not to build a huge ranch complex, complete with helicopter pad, in Wolfhalden Switzerland. Schumacher had hoped to move to the quite village in eastern Switzerland but his plans were scuppered when he struggled to get planning permission. "The whole environment absolutely matched our ideal," he said. "But the legal process would have taken too long. For that reason, we have decided to halt the project and we will stay where we are [in west Switzerland]."


text:
So here is another banger from KnowLife this time in conjunction with Killah Trakz. The song is awesome but there is only one problem, its on fucking sound cloud…. Please feel free to blow up know life on twitter @KnowLifeMusic and tell him he needs to use bandcamp. Enjoy the track
Know Life x Killah Trakz – Half A Chance by Know Life


text:
The following pictures are quilts that I currently have. For a long time I didn't have a digital camera so many I have given away I don't have pics of. I will do a better job of the quilts I make in the future!
I don't have a good place to hang so I photo them on a bed.
A scrappy Irish chain, second picture is of the quilting done by my sis.
Thimbleberries log cabin flannel tied, done in a hurry for a dorm room


text:
Cambridge affected by Vomit Ray
Surely I can't be the only one to notice the two headlines on today's page? Cambridge students vomiting all over the place and the US testing a vomit ray? Given the presens of large US air bases nearby, then there must be a sinister plot to test the vomit ray on cambridge students. After all, Cambridge students are hard-working conscientious types who'd surely never get totally rat-arsed!
I write as another former student!


text:
My Nonprofit Reviews
Review for Veterans Leadership Program of Western Pennsylvania, Inc., Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Hi Karen,
Thanks for getting back to me. Seeing your email gave me a warm feeling in my heart. I am so grateful for all the help I got from VLP. I was on the brink of despair and disaster there for awhile, and just having the sense that I could get help if I really did fall off the edge made all the difference in the world. Now my interest is giving back :-) !
I would like to have a table, but I will put the voluteer flyer up and I feel certain some of my patients will want to volunteer. Hope all is going well with you.
All the best,
More Feedback
If I had to make changes to this organization, I would...
How would you describe the help you got from this organization?
How likely are you to recommend this organization to a friend?
How do you feel you were treated by this organization?
Very Well
When was your last experience with this nonprofit?


text:
Cooking with bell peppers at the height of their season is a chance to work with the flavors of late summer and early fall, flavors that are bigger and bolder than those of high summer but still lively and fresh.
Charring the peppers, then pickling them, gives them a complex, explosive flavor that works well with neutral tasting proteins such as poached eggs, chicken or scallops.
Pickled Pepper Relish
2 cups distilled vinegar
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water
2 teaspoons salt
4 red bell peppers
4 green Anaheim peppers*
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
In a small pot, bring vinegar, sugar, water and salt to a full boil. Transfer the liquid to a small metal bowl and chill.
Char all the peppers over an open flame. Submerge the peppers in the pickling liquid and refrigerate for at least two hours.
Remove the peppers from the pickling liquid. With a paring knife, scrape off most of the charred skin. Remove stems from the peppers. Open the peppers and scrape out the seeds. (Do not rinse the peppers — rinsing will wash out a lot of the flavor.)
Carefully cut the peppers in a small dice. Place the peppers in a small salad bowl. Place a strainer over the bowl, and strain 1/2 cup pickling liquid over the peppers. Stir in the olive oil and thyme. Makes 2 cups.
*Feel free to substitute Hatch chiles for the Anaheims.
Pickled Onions
1 lb. sweet onions, halved and cut into 1/4-inch thick slices
1 lb. cucumber cut into 1/4-inch thick slices
2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 fresh red chile pepper, halved, seeded, and thinly sliced
2 tablespoons kosher salt
2 cups apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon mustard seeds
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1. Toss together first five ingredients in a large bowl. Cover and let stand one hour. Transfer to a colander; drain 20 minutes. Pack into three (1-pt.) jars, filling to 1/2-inch from the top.
2. Bring vinegar and next three ingredients to a boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat; boil, stirring constantly, one minute or until sugar dissolves. Let stand five minutes.
3. Pour vinegar mixture over onion mixture in jars. filling to 1/2-inch from top. Cool completely (about 20 minutes). Cover with lids, and chill eight hours before serving. Store in refrigerator up to two weeks.
Susan Woody has been a food writer for more than 20 years and is a member of the Association of Food Journalists.


text:
From the perspective of the young adult he was then, Francisco Jiménez describes the challenges he faced in his efforts to continue his education. During his college years, the very family solidarity that allowed Francisco to survive as a child is tested. Not only must he leave his family behind when he goes to Santa Clara University, but while Francisco is there, his father abandons the family and returns to Mexico.
This is the story of how Francisco coped with poverty, with his guilt over leaving his family financially strapped, with his self-doubt about succeeding academically, and with separation. Once again his telling is honest, true, and inspiring.
©2008 Francisco Jimenez (P)2009 Audible, Inc.
"Excellent for English learners"
Audio is clear, with believable emotion in the narrator's voice. Pronunciations of Spanish words and names sound authentic, which helps the reader feel like Jimenez could be the one speaking. Although anyone could relate to the themes of perseverance and success through hard work, immigrants dreaming of college will find it particularly relevant. Enjoyable!
The autobiography of Francisco Jimenez has inspired me for a decade. I love to read and listen to his life because I can identify periods of my life with his life. This book can inspire and encourage mexican immigrant students.
Report Inappropriate Content
If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.


text:
Is simply looking at pictures on postcards becoming humdrum? Maybe it's time to investigate some more of the many categories included under the general heading of "novelty postcards."
One of the more unusual topics to collect is add-ons. This refers to postcards with material attached to the card itself. You may have seen some of the more common add-ons already. Silk was often affixed to postcards as part of the clothing of women, children and, more notably, silk-suited Santa Claus cards.
Velvet and other textured fabrics were often used to create a different look and a nice tactile experience for the person getting the card. A very popular souvenir chrome postcard from the 1950s through the 1970s was an actual boll of cotton in a small plastic bag, attached to postcards from "down south." Similarly, some souvenir cards from Salt Lake City came complete with a bag of salt from the Great Salt Lake.
The fun thing about collecting add-ons is that the sky's the limit. You can build quite a collection, with each card containing a different type of item attached to it. Here are some examples from my collection:
At first glance, I thought this postcard (above) was a handmade one-of-a-kind. But a look at the reverse side shows a commercial postcard back, though no publisher is identified. The caption refers to still having the money stash—a major feat during the early 1900s when traveling or relocating from place to place.
The words feel like a felt or velvety fabric, carefully attached to the card. The red leather purse, unfortunately, is missing its metal clasp. Its flap opens, and a small note, or even a coin, could be tucked inside. I'm not sure where the sender, Florence, went, but the message on the back notes that, "Donna are I are having a hot time." It was 1907, so I'm sure they were referring to the climate.
This is a very rare card, and I have yet to see one exactly like it in excellent condition. Even without the clasp and with the writing on the front, I would expect it to fetch $15 to $20 online or at a postcard show.
This metal dog is looking longingly at the game birds flying overhead. Due to their weight, metal add-ons are generally on heavier postcard stock. This pre-1908, undivided back, European-made postcard was mailed in the United States. While I don't see metal add-ons often, I have seen some with elks, sent between members of the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks. Most of these are pre-1920 postcards.
I would expect to find metal add-ons in the $15 range online and at shows.
"This little football that I send, please do not kick about, my friend. 'Tis not to exercise your shins, It's simply meant to save your pins." Imagine—a pincushion postcard! Sadly, mine is in only fair condition, with some of the red felt of the football worn away, possibly from the use for which it was intended. The fabric underneath is cotton, with the seam of the football sewn with green wool. The stitching outlining the football can be seen on the back.
Sent from a woman in Elkhart, Indiana, to her friend in Lake Mary, Florida, in 1908, this would have been a welcome surprise. While unusual, with some persistence you can find the occasional pincushion postcard online and at shows, usually in the $10 to $25 range, with condition being a major factor in the price.
Not politically correct to environmentalists today, you can still find some antique postcards with real bird feathers affixed. Often they adorn the bodies of the same type of bird or game fowl from which they came. Artist M. Kaufman created this image in Eastern Europe and adorned it with feathers. This pre-1908 undivided back postcard shows a publisher's mark of "BK WI 764-10" on the back.
Feather postcards average $8 to $10. I've seen comic cards sell for $5 online, and postcards with feathers on the sumptuous boas or fans of beautiful women sell for up to $60.
Other add-on postcards include pre-1920 cards with buttons, usually as the faces of comic characters. These are quite expensive, generally selling for about $40, with some unusual button-faces going as high as $100 in excellent condition. Other pricey add-ons include pre-1920 European postcards showing beautiful women or children, with real hair affixed. A good selection of these can be found online in the $30 to $50 range.
More modern postcards from the 1940s to the 1960s, many crafted in Spain, show the traditional costumes of men and women with elaborate embroidery and fabrics attached. These can generally be found in the $5 to $10 range. These can be excellent buys now and can be expected to appreciate in value in years to come.
Can't afford a Hawaiian vacation? Enjoy some actual sand from the Black Sands Beach in Puna, Hawaii, attached to this 1960s postcard. The plastic bag of sand is simply stapled to the card, which shows the beach from which it came. This is an A Nani Li'i (pronounced "Nonnie Le'e", meaning "little beauty") postcard, made by the H.S. Crocker Company. You should be able to find cards similar to this at shows in the $3 to $6 range.
Where were you when Mount St. Helens in the state of Washington erupted in 1980? After 123 years of dormancy, the disaster began with two months of steam venting and earthquakes. Finally, on May 18, 1980, the volcano exploded a hot mix of lava and pulverized rock. According to the description on the back of the postcard, the eruption had the force of a 50-megaton TNT blast—comparable to the largest nuclear weapon ever tested.
Not to let any opportunity pass by, postcard publisher Mike Roberts of California produced this card in 1980. It has a sample of genuine volcanic ash affixed to the front, covered with plastic for preservation. Not as common as you'd expect, you can sometimes find this card for sale in the $3 to $5 range.
And now for something completely different, we turn to postcards that have other uses. Though they're modern, they're difficult to find because people actually used them and then threw them away. These were all advertising postcards that were distributed free in public locations during the 1990s and early 2000s. You might find them as "sleepers" in dealer boxes of "rack cards" for under $1.
From Buena Vista Home Entertainment comes this paper-doll postcard. Advertising the VHS and DVD rental version of "Scary Movie," this postcard was distributed by Boomerang of Great Britain in 2000 and 2001. Perforated for easy punching out, this stand-up Carmen Electra, starring as Drew Decker, probably graced many a college dorm room.
Another perforated punch-out postcard, this one doubled as a stand-up 1997 Christmas snow globe. From Maxracks cards, which had free postcard racks in more than 1,500 locations, the postcard was distributed to provide holiday wishes to eager fans.
Need a handy bookmark? The right side of this postcard is perforated and made to be torn off and used as one. NBC aired "The Odyssey" as a miniseries in 1997. Starring Armand Assante and Greta Scacchi, it retold the tale of Homer's greatest epic, complete with state-of-the-art special effects. It was distributed by Go-Card throughout the U.S.
And I'll leave you with something sweet and delicious—a recipe for pumpkin-pecan pie. Perforated so that you could remove the recipe-card box-sized instructions, this advertising postcard was distributed by Preferred Properties in Center Harbor, New Hampshire. The backside is a printed ad, touting the skills of real-estate professionals Rosemary Uicker and Ellen Mulligan. It's a clever way to keep your name and contact information in someone's kitchen for a long, long time.
Bonnie Wilpon, the author of "Postcard History of Sarasota and Bradenton, FL," and "Postcard History of Hollywood, FL." (published by Arcadia Books), is a Worthologist who specializes in postcards.
WorthPoint—Discover Your Hidden Wealth