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With 'Afghanistan's Got Talent' Coming Soon, Islamic Parliamentarian Vows Jihad Against Talent, Reality Shows
An Islamic parliamentarian in Afghanistan warns that he will start a jihad against shows such as the planned "Afghanistan's Got Talent" and already existing shows of similar nature because of an unwanted Western influence upon the country.
Shows modeled after "The Voice" and "Pop Idol" have been popular for quite some time in a nation with a youthful demographics and where television has proliferated since the Taliban left power in Kabul in 2001.
Abdul Sattar Khawasi is leading the campaign against talent and reality shows, and has the promise of the Afghan minister to review the programming, according to The Telegraph.
"I have already made it clear in the lower house that I am going to start a jihad against these kind of shows and programs on our television channels," Khawasi said.
Despite the popularity of the shows, many in Afghanistan are wary as they continue to live under strict laws by conservative clerics. However, there's been a surge in broadcasting and media since the five-year reign of the Taliban, when television, films and videos were banned, according to The Telegraph.
It is estimated that Afghanistan is now home to 75 television stations and 175 radio stations, and some say that it is a sign of the country's expanding democracy and freedom. Apparently, the demand for talent and reality shows has also grown.
Afghanistan's version of American Idol, "Afghan Star," has been one of the most popular shows on TV during eight prime-time seasons since 2005, according to AFP.
"Afghanistan's Got Talent," a local franchise of the show created by producer Simon Cowell, is scheduled to begin airing in October.
The shows have come with much resistance in some cases, such as during the first season of "Afghan Star," one woman went into hiding when her headscarf slipped as she danced.
"Voice of Afghanistan," patterned after "The Voice," has had a rough time this year when one of the three singing coaches was criticized heavily on social media sites for not wearing a headscarf and wearing figure-hugging clothes.
According to The Telegraph, messages posted on the show's Facebook page also include complaints about Afghan women shown dancing.
Khawasi added: "Look at its name, 'The Voice of Afghanistan,' how sweet the name is and how great it looks, but unfortunately look at the contents of the show – it does not represent the culture and customs of our country."


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I've featured content from "LOWTECH" before. To be honest, I have no idea who these fellas are... I just like their style and the way they present the subject at hand. I can always count on great photograp...

To read the rest of this blog entry from The Jalopy Journal, click here.

subset: commoncrawl


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A Career College and Job-Search Advice Column
Dr. Randall Hansen a nationally recognized career expert is the Career Doctor. Discover more about Dr. Hansen read about the purpose of this column and find previous issues of this column at the home of The Career Doctor.
If you have any college career or job-related questions or comments that Dr. Hansen could provide valuable assistance with please feel free to email him at: email@example.com. Dr. Hansen writes this column on a biweekly basis.
In This Issue (06/06/03):
- Making a good first impression at a new job
- Helping a teen find a summer job
- Taking the time for career self-assessment
- Dealing with being terminated from last job
|Jessica writes: Hi I just graduated from college and am one of the lucky ones I guess because I have a job offer. I am supposed to start working in the marketing department next week and I have no clue what to expect – and more importantly what they expect of me. How can I make a good first impression? I really want to succeed in this company.
| The Career Doctor responds: Wanting to make a good first impression with your new employer is very smart thinking. As with any situation people often take short-cuts in making conclusions about people — and first impressions can make or break your future in any organization. Now don't panic. I'm not necessarily talking about work expertise first impressions as I am attitude first impressions. Most employers don't expect new employees to solve all the company's problems the first day; however the way you handle yourself around the workplace is of vital importance and does indeed start the first day.
So what are some ways to make a good first impression? I don't have room for all my suggestions so here are the most important:
Being the newest member of the organization — the rookie — is both a challenging and exciting time. Just relax and remember to make the best first impression you can.
You can read all 20 of our tips for making a good first impression by reading the latest article published on Quintessential Careers Your First Days Working at a New Job: 20 Tips to Help You Make a Great Impression.
And check out the new Workplace Resources section of Quintessential Careers.
|Ana writes: My name is Ana. I am about 14 and a half years old and I live in a big city. I am trying to find a summer job like waitressing but I am not finding any luck for a job that I am eligible for at my age. I feel that I would be a very good waitress because I am very good with people. Please help me find something and if you have any information at all please email me back. Thank you.
| The Career Doctor responds: In some ways you may be lucky not to be old enough to work as a waitress because so many summer jobs that in the past have been filled by teenagers are being filled by all the displaced workers from this so-far jobless economic recovery. Rarely have experts seen an economy that appears to be picking up steam while jobs remain steady — or even decrease.
So what can younger teens who want to earn some money over the summer do if they can't work because of state labor laws? Well you could fall back on something like babysitting but especially because you live in a city I suggest that perhaps you form a club or group with some of your friends from school and start your own business.
There are lots of business ideas for teens wanting to make money this summer. You can start a:
And for those teens outside the city a lawn-care or house-painting business are other options.
Remember to consult with an adult before you start any business — and be prepared for some people who will try and take advantage of your age.
Read lots more advice in my article published on Quintessential Careers Job Ideas for Teems 15 and Younger: Beyond Babysitting.
|Liz writes: My name is Liz and I'm twenty-four years old. I've been in between jobs for almost six years now and I feel I can't get a break. I don't know what I want to be. What can I do to find out what I'm supposed to do as a career?
| The Career Doctor responds: The most important thing you can do for yourself is to take the time to really get to know yourself to assess your likes and dislikes your strengths and weaknesses. From that point you can begin building a career plan to help move you in a forward direction.
How do you go about with self-assessment? Well you can take some tests; there are lots available in print and online. But before you do any of those tests — if you even bother to — first spend some time with yourself getting to know yourself better. Make a list of the activities you like to do — and not just from your previous jobs but from your hobbies and other interests. Then make a list of the things you never want to do again. Now sit down and think about your strengths and weaknesses.
Once you've done some self-assessment the next step is looking for careers that utilize your strengths and the activities you enjoy. There are any number of resources to learn about careers – from utilizing the resources of a career counselor to any number of print and Web resources. One of my favorites is the Occupational Outlook Handbook published by the U.S. Department of Labor. The Handbook describes what workers do on the job working conditions the training and education needed earnings and expected job prospects in a wide range of occupations.
Once you've identified a career path (or paths) the next step is identifying potential employers. There are any number of ways of doing this such as completing a job search on some of the major job boards to see what companies are hiring in your field. You can also go to your industry's niche job board(s) and search job listings there as well. Finally industry associations are also good sources of potential employers.
The final step is getting your job-search material in order for the career change. You'll need a new resume new cover letters and preparation for job interview questions.
Some resources to help you in this process:
|James writes: I was terminated from my last job. On several employment applications since then I haven't been able to get employed. I always tell my prospective employer about my last employer and that I was indeed terminated. Should I omit my past employer that fired me on my future employment applications? Can my past employer tell others that I was fired? What is my past employer allowed to communicate to others?
| The Career Doctor responds: I can't say this fact often enough: job-hunting is all about marketing and selling. Get the prospective employer hooked on your mix of skills abilities and accomplishments — and then let them see any warts or scratches in the polish. In other words never broadcast anything negative about yourself to prospective employers.
Please note. I am not saying you should lie or cover up any negative information. What I am saying is that you should never volunteer the information. Eventually you're going to get a question about why you left your last job — but hopefully after you've had plenty of time to sell yourself.
Remember also that in this economy lots of people — unfortunately — have been terminated downsized or rightsized so you are not alone.
Can your past employer slam you if a prospective employer calls them? Sure. How many actually will do so in this very litigious society? Very few. If contacted most will simply offer your dates of employment and some vague reason for termination — thus it's up to you to fill in the details in as positive a way as possible including demonstrating what you have learned from the experience.
It might also help to read my article Getting Fired: An Opportunity for Change and Growth published on Quintessential Careers.


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VAN ZANDT COUNTY (KYTX)- This was once the community center for this neighborhood of Rolling Oaks in Van Zandt county. This was actually the pool people played in and behind me a house where people played bingo but neighbors say this community has now turned into a place of crime and drugs.
Cindy Stowe has been living in this neighborhood filled with run-down houses, trash and unwelcome neighbors for 20 years.
"Biggest thing we've got around here is auto burglaries, theft, burglary and the drugs and we're trying to eradicate it all. Let these criminals know don't mess with Van Zandt county," Stowe said.
Stowe says robberies are common in Rolling Oaks. In fact, so common it caused this pizza place to close. Stowe says it is a vicious cycle of people stealing from neighbors to get money for drugs.
"They've broken into my house and robbed it, got quite a bit of stuff. They broke into my shed twice, burned it down the last time," Stowe said.
We drove around the neighborhood today with child advocate John Borgstedt. Borgstedt decided to try and help the people of Rolling Oaks when Borgstedt says Van Zandt Sheriff Lindsey Ray told him there was nothing he could do.
"I told him about the issues going on here and he said the thing is we don't have a lot of manpower and we don't have budget and Rolling Oaks is a lost cause," Borgstedt said.
Stowe says people had to start their own neighborhood watch program to keep themselves safe.
"We go out and patrol during the high crime times of the day which is daytime and let these criminals know we're going to turn them in," Stowe said.
Resident Johnny Mitchell says the neighborhood is heading in a better direction than it was but help is still needed.
"It would be nice if we could walk around the neighborhood without dealing with these crack heads but I don't know what you can do other than keep hounding the sheriff," Mitchell said.
Stowe says she wishes she didn't have to put herself in danger to patrol this area but will keep doing it as long as she's needed.
"At least we know we are doing something to help our community, to better it," Stowe said.
Neighbors say there is a lot to be done in this neighborhood like fixing these roads and some of these abandoned houses behind me but they hope by sharing the story people will come together to fix this struggling place.


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Hello everyone it's my first post on here and I'm looking for some information which im hoping someone can help me with.
Me and my girlfriend are going to be moving to Taiwan next year, she is hopefully going to teach English she already has a degree and a masters degree and works at a school in the uk. Am I right in thinking she can stay in Taiwan as long as she is teaching??
What would she need to sort out before she goes?
As for me I have GCSEs and a levels. I'm also skilled in the motor trade but have no qualifications. Can I work in Taiwan legally?
Would I need to get a visa?
How long can we both stay?
My girlfriends dad is English and he already lives in taiwan with his Taiwanese wife so we have alittle help there:)
Any help and advise would be grately appreciated.
Thanks Paul


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Work Flow Structure: An Analysis for Planning and Control
This paper has two purposes: (1) to propose a new way of conceptualizing job-shop-like manufacturing systems and (2) to suggest how this conceptualization might be applied in the development of planning and control procedures. The concept of "work flow structure" is developed and methods for determining this structure from a sample of job routings or a routing transition matrix are described. Two key notions used to define work flow structure are "paths" of work flow and the relative activity levels or throughput volumes of processing units in the system. Sample results are presented from the application of these methods to data from a large machine shop. The final section of the paper suggests a number of ways in which work flow structure information might be used in procedures for production planning and control. The application areas discussed include product mix planning, capacity planning, personnel assignment, work releasing and dispatching.
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Volume (Year): 16 (1970)
Issue (Month): 6 (February)
Pages: 324-336
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Unions plan 10,000-person march on Wall Street -- Linda Douglass leaving 1600 -- Why the John Edwards saga will unfold for years to come -- Salahis writing a book -- Scarborough b'day
BUSINESS WEEK cover shows President Obama, airborne on a hoop court, "THE HOT HAND: Obamanomics is working better than you think. Who says so? Wall Street."
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, in Prague, interviews President Obama on "GMA" ("Last I checked, Sarah Palin isn't much of an expert on nuclear, uh, issues" ... Leaving slavery out of Virginia governor's Confederate History Month proclamation was "an unacceptable omission"). Transcript
Story Continued Below
STEPHANOPOULOS: "So far, the Iranian officials are calling the sanctions a joke. And I'm sure you've seen that. And President Ahmadinejad took after you personally. He's basically calling you a cowboy. .... What do you make of that?"
OBAMA: "Well, let's see, George. So far, you've quoted Sarah Palin. (LAUGHS) And now President Ahmadinejad. You're trying to get a rise out of me?"
STEPHANOPOULOS: "And it's not going to work?"
OBAMA: "No, it's not. I mean, look. The guy's known for saying some pretty unconstructive stuff — how's that? And offensive stuff. So, I don't take that seriously. What I do take seriously is the fact that if we [are] consistent and steady and applying international pressure, that over time, Iran — which is not a stupid regime, which is very attentive in watching what's happening in the international community --- will start making a different set of cost benefit analyses about whether or not pursuing nuclear weapons makes sense for them."
AIR FORCE ONE has left Prague. The President is wheels-down Andrews at 1:05 p.m. AP's Jennifer Loven: "President Barack Obama on Friday briskly capped his latest mission abroad, squeezing in some diplomacy with his host, Czech President Vaclav Klaus, and heading home with his signature nuclear arms pact with Russia. Obama stayed the night in Prague for a diplomatic must-do: a one-on-one meeting with Klaus, the leader whose country served as the staging ground for the U.S.-Russia treaty ceremony on Thursday. But the session took on a perfunctory air, as Obama spent less than 40 minutes at Prague Castle before speeding off to Air Force One and starting his return flight to Washington."
SUNDAY SO FAR: Secretaries Gates and Clinton reprise their December talk-show duet, appearing on "Meet," "Face" and "Week."
— Secretary Clinton, invited by Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, will deliver remarks on nuclear nonproliferation at the University of Louisville today as part of the McConnell Center's Spring Lecture Series. Livestreams on at 3:30 p.m.
LINDA DOUGLASS, the ABC News alumnus and traveling senior adviser for the Obama campaign, is departing as communications director of the White House Office of Health Reform, to go into "Mom mode" ahead of her daughter's wedding this summer. "It has been a tremendous honor to serve the President, and leaving this great team is bittersweet," she says in an e-mail. "After nearly 2 years of work that has been exhilarating and grueling in equal measure, I am going to step off the treadmill for awhile and rediscover the experience of dining with my husband on a regular basis. It has been a privilege to be part of the health care team, and I will be cheering with pride from the sidelines as this historic law takes effect."
— Dan Pfeiffer: "Linda has been and will continue to be a valued adviser to this president and this White House. She was instrumental in the passage of historic health reform. We'll miss her hard work and the cheer she brought to the effort."
LATE NIGHT — Jon Stewart interviews a Muppet modeled after Michael Steele ... Rep. Barney Frank on Leno: PARTISAN ANGER TEA PARTIERS FRANK'S MESSAGE TO ROVE
SIREN — Gallup.com, "Democratic Party Image Drops to Record Low": "Americans' favorable rating of the Democratic Party dropped to 41 percent in a late March USA Today/Gallup poll, the lowest point in the 18-year history of this measure. Favorable impressions of the Republican Party are now at 42 percent, thus closing the gap between the two parties' images that has prevailed for the past four years."
SCOOP — Greg Sargent: "In a shot across the bow of Dems, the labor powerhouse SEIU is starting a new third party in North Carolina that hopes to field its own slate of candidates, part of an effort to make the Democratic Party more reliable on issues important to labor ... SEIU officials setting up the new party, called North Carolina First, are currently on the ground collecting signatures to qualify as a state party."
Good Friday morning from the Windy City. The President got a triple crown of a welcome-home present:
— Business Week, "Why the Obama Plan Is Working," by Bloomberg's Mike Dorning: "Little more than a year ago, financial markets were in turmoil, major auto companies were on the verge of collapse and economists such as Paul Krugman were worried about the U.S. slumbering through a Japan-like Lost Decade. While no one would claim that all the pain is past or the danger gone, the economy is growing again, jumping to a 5.6 percent annualized growth rate in the fourth quarter ... Consumer spending has been rising for five straight months. That may not last, but it suggests Obama is already on the right track with voters' wallets. If the Clinton Administration is a trustworthy precedent —and job growth continues — their hearts and minds could follow."
— N.Y. Times p. 1, Floyd Norris "High & Low Finance" column, "Why So Glum? Numbers Point To a Recovery": "The American economy appears to be in a cyclical recovery that is gaining strength. Firms have begun to hire and consumer spending seems to be accelerating. That is what usually happens after particularly sharp recessions, so it is surprising that many commentators, whether economists or politicians, seem to doubt that such a thing could possibly be happening. Usually you can depend on the White House to view the economy with the most rose-tinted glasses available. But it was not until last week, after a strong employment report, that President Obama started to sound a little optimistic."
— L.A. Times A1, "RETAILERS SEE BEST MONTH IN DECADE": Widespread gains offer new evidence of recovery ahead": "Of the 28 retailers whose results were tallied by Thomson Reuters, 92 percent beat sales expectations. The group's 9.1 percent sales gain was significantly better than the 6.3 percent increase analysts had been expecting and marked the best month on record since the company began tracking data in 2000."
**A message from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: The US Chamber's Campaign for Free Enterprise has designated April "Enterprise & Education Month" to engage and inspire young entrepreneurs through nationwide events and discussions on the role education plays in job creation. For details on the month's activities visit www.FreeEnterprise.com. **
BIRTHDAYS: Joe Scarborough, celebrating in Tuscaloosa by going to his alma mater, the University of Alabama, for a book-signing with Mika. Hosting the show today: Savannah Guthrie and Mike Barnicle (aka, Mary Tyler Moore and Lou Grant) ... David Mork … House Judiciary Committee's Republican Communications Director Kim Smith (hat tip: Kurt Bardella).
POOL REPORT — Hacks and flacks galore turned out last night for goodbye drinks for Lisa Lerer, Vicki McGrane and Michael Calderone. Bash at Momo's was organized by Marin Cogan and Kasie Hunt. Hill sources say it was Carrie Budoff Brown who set off the fire alarm.
POLITICO's Patrick Gavin scored an exclusive interview with Tareq and Michaele Salahi last night as they headlined an event at District bar in Adams Morgan. The couple revealed that they are currently working on a book but would not (or could not) reveal the information that everybody already knows — that they will appear on the upcoming season of "Real Housewives." Tareq was sporting White House cuff links and, when asked if they get approached on the street nowadays, they said that they are approached most by members of the armed services, offering words of support. As for "Saturday Night Live's" impersonation of them, Tareq said it made him realize that he needs to lose weight and Michaele said it made her realize that she needs to come off as not such floozy.
EXCLUSIVE — AFL-CIO President Richard L. Trumka, who was a third-generation coal miner before going into labor leadership, tells POLITICO that more than 10,000 union supporters will "march on Wall Street" on April 29 in support of a financial-transactions tax and higher taxes on private-equity and hedge funds. The march coincides with Senate action on financial regulatory reform, an Obama administration priority for the spring. Workers will flood subways and buses will clog downtown, with union "marshals" to prevent "counterproductive" antics, Trumka said in a video interview. "People will be talking, yelling, chanting, and letting America — and letting Wall Street, particularly — know that their brand of economics, where the financial economy overshadows the real economy, is no longer acceptable, that we want them to help pay for the jobs that they destroyed," Trumka said. "There'll be a lot of people and a lot of energy, and it will be a lot of fun. ... We'll be right on Wall Street."
Asked about the reaction he expects from the financial-services industry, Trumka said: "[T]hey'll try to ignore it. But as the voice gets louder from more and more Americans, from a broader swath of America, it's tougher and tougher for them ... to act like they can go back to business as usual. And I think that's what's angered the American public the most: They destroy all these jobs, they bring us to the brink of financial disaster, they get bailed out, they don't lend money to people that could create jobs, and yet they go back to business as usual."
A LABOR FLIER – "AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR UNION: Rally and March WITH AFL-CIO PRESIDENT RICHARD TRUMKA -- NEW YORK CITY—FINANCIAL DISTRICT -- THURSDAY, APRIL 29 -- 3–6 P.M. -- Wall Street tanked America's economy, killed jobs, took $700 billion in taxpayer dollars—then went right back to business as usual, choking off credit, handing out $145 billion in 2009 executive pay and bonuses and hiring an army of lobbyists to fight financial reform. We're 11 million jobs in the hole and it's time for Wall Street to pay up to create them. Join AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka and thousands of union and community activists from across the country in the heart of the financial district on April 29 to MAKE WALL STREET PAY."
BUSINESS REACTS — Kathryn S. Wylde, president and CEO of the Partnership for New York City, a network of 200 top CEOs founded by David Rockefeller, said in a telephone interview: "It's unfortunate, because this is a time when Americans should be pulling together. A big piece of what we need to be a world economic power is a strong financial center. Demonizing Wall Street diminishes us in the eyes of the world."
VIDEOS: Trumka on Wall Street Trumka on health care
MARCH ON SHAREHOLDERS' MEETINGS — The 2.2-million-member Service Employees International Union (which is headed by Andy Stern and calls itself "the fastest-growing union in North America") announced that a "broad coalition of workers, clergy, veterans, and community groups" will TRY TO DISRUPT bank shareholder meetings: "Wells Fargo Shareholder Meeting ... More than 1,000 clergy, workers, community allies to stage procession through downtown San Francisco to Wells Fargo shareholder meeting. The group will stage a rally outside the meeting and send a delegation inside ... April 27 ... Bank of America Shareholder Meeting ... Hundreds of veterans, clergy, working families to march on Bank of America shareholder meeting. The group will stage a rally outside the meeting and send a delegation inside. ... Bank of America headquarters ...Charlotte, N.C. ... April 28."
E-mails we get at 4:22 a.m.: "SIREN (for Playbook Irish Edition) ... Irish Music Association Announces Presentation of 'Best Irish Tenor' Award to Anthony Kearns on Eve of April 9 Irish Heritage Performance in London."
TOP TALKER — L.A. Times A1, "Love in the time of book deals: The characters in the John Edwards-Rielle Hunter saga are trying to rebuild their lives. But there's more to come," by Robin Abcarian in Chapel Hill: "A federal grand jury is investigating whether Edwards funneled campaign money to his mistress, Hunter, for her personal use, which could be a crime. Last summer, Hunter and Young testified for hours … * After Young revealed he discovered a tape of Edwards cavorting with a pregnant Hunter, Hunter sued the Youngs to get it back. The case could drag on for months … Hunter said the Youngs purloined the tape from a box she had left in a house they rented for her; the Youngs said she left it as trash. * Elizabeth kicked John out after he finally admitted to fathering Hunter's baby. Though she is terminally ill, they are heading for divorce. … * After John reached a child-support pact with Hunter, she posed sans pants in the April GQ, criticized Elizabeth and proclaimed her eternal love for 'Johnny.' She will soon bare her soul to Oprah Winfrey. National Enquirer, which broke the scandal and nominated itself for a Pulitzer Prize, remains vigilant: 'John Edwards' mistress uninvited visit to kiddie gym with lovechild in tow' was a recent headline. * And Young has penned 'The Politician,' a bestseller being shopped around by top Hollywood agent Ari Emanuel for the inevitable movie. The writer Aaron Sorkin and actor Tobey Maguire have both expressed interest."
NO-SHOW NETANYAHU — POLITICO's Laura Rozen and Josh Gerstein, with Ben Smith: "Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has abruptly canceled his plans to attend President Barack Obama's nuclear security summit next week, creating an embarrassing distraction on the eve of a high-profile meeting … 'In the last 24 hours, the Israeli government has learned of various reports from various sources on the intention of several states attending the conference not only to deal with the issue at hand, but to take the opportunity to make a point of grand-standing against Israel and the issue of the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty,' [an] Israeli official said. 'The prime minister was dismayed at this, and decided to stick to the Israeli policy that Israel is usually represented at these types of conferences at the professional-ministerial level.' Deputy Prime Minister Dan Meridor, will head the Israeli delegation attending the summit on securing nuclear materials. … Netanyahu's about-face came as the New York Times and Washington Post published accounts suggesting that Obama was considering presenting its own detailed peace proposal to Israel and the Palestinians if so-called proximity talks the U.S. is trying to conduct fail. … Republican activists at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans Thursday night applauded loudly when told, by Liz Cheney, of Netanayhu's decision. … Earlier Thursday, Israeli journalists received the Israeli prime minister's planned travel itinerary, which said Netanyahu and his delegation were due to arrive in Washington on Monday night."
ALSO DRIVING THE CONVO, by Tim Alberta:
— CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, "Nuclear posturing, Obama-style" — WP op-ed page: "Under President Obama's new policy, ... if the state that has just attacked us with biological or chemical weapons is 'in compliance with the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT),' explained [Secretary] Gates, then 'the U.S. pledges not to use or threaten to use nuclear weapons against it.' ... This is quite insane. ... This administration seems to believe that by restricting retaliatory threats and by downgrading our reliance on nuclear weapons, it is discouraging proliferation. But the opposite is true. Since World War II, smaller countries have forgone the acquisition of deterrent forces — nuclear, biological and chemical — precisely because they placed their trust in the firmness, power and reliability of the American deterrent. Seeing America retreat, they will rethink. And some will arm. There is no greater spur to hyperproliferation than the furling of the American nuclear umbrella."
— Detroit Free Press, " Stupak at peace with health vote," by Todd Spangler: "Regardless of whether he decides to fight to keep his current job, U.S. Rep. Bart Stupak is proud of his controversial vote that helped pass health care reform and is willing to defend it. Stupak, under fire from the right and left and the subject of national speculation that he may not seek re-election, told the Free Press Thursday night he would make an announcement today in Marquette. Stupak ...appeared during an interview with the Free Press on Wednesday to be gearing up for what would be his ninth reelection campaign. 'Are they mad at me about a vote? Yeah,' he said of some of his constituents. But he said he also had plenty of support in his district — even his priest at Holy Spirit in Menominee defended him in a Palm Sunday note to parishioners. And the fact is, Stupak considers the health care reform bill his 'greatest legislative accomplishment.'"
2012 — WSJ A4, " Romney Dogged by a Tale of Two Health Plans," by Peter Wallsten: "[A]s Mr. Romney tours to promote his new book, some people have been posing an uncomfortable question: If he opposes Mr. Obama's health-care policy, why did Mr. Romney shepherd a near-universal health-insurance system into law as governor of Massachusetts? ... On Thursday morning in Bedford, N.H., Mr. Romney heard from Charles Arlinghaus, who opposes the federal law's requirement that nearly all Americans buy health-insurance coverage. Mr. Arlinghaus, a Republican who leads a local think tank, told Mr. Romney at a breakfast that drew 150 people that many conservatives opposed the Obama plan because they viewed the Massachusetts precursor as a failure. The exchanges highlighted the unique political problem facing Mr. Romney as he tries to capitalize on conservative anger over the new health-care law. Like Mr. Obama, Mr. Romney's signature policy achievement was enacting a plan that covers nearly everyone and gives subsidies to some people to help them afford insurance. ... But Mr. Romney ... acknowledged parallels between the two laws. He said those include assurances that people who lose their jobs or have preexisting conditions will have access to insurance coverage. 'I like the things that are similar. I don't like the things that are different,' he said."
MEDIAWATCH — Oprah in the evening — Chicago Sun-Times: "Oprah Winfrey may be ending her talk show in Sept. 2011, but ... Winfrey announced Thursday that she will, after all, host an interview show on her new cable channel, OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. The show will have a new title, 'Oprah's Next Chapter,' … [in] prime time, two to three times a week. ... [T]he show probably won't air until late 2011, Winfrey also detailed plans for four more shows to join the 10 already announced … 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' has averaged 6.7 million viewers so far this season, according to Nielsen Co. In the early '90s, Winfrey could count on 10 million viewers."
BUSINESS BURST — FT p. 1, "Apple to battle with Google for mobile ads": "Apple launched a war with Google over mobile advertising revenues on Thursday as it announced its own iAd network for the iPhone. The move challenges its Silicon Valley rival's core business model and its plans to expand into mobile devices. Steve Jobs, Apple chief executive, said that Google's search-based advertisements were not the future for mobile devices because users tended to spend their time inside 'apps' rather than browsing the web. … Apple will launch its iAd network on the iPhone, iPod touch and iPad later this year. In February, the iPhone and iPod touch accounted for 40 per cent of the mobile ads served up by one of the biggest ad networks, AdMob — a sign of the dominance of Apple's software platform in the mobile ad market. ... Tension has been growing between Apple and Google since the latter has gained a foothold in the mobile phone market by developing its Android operating system for rival handset makers."
SPORTS BLINK — GOLF.com has a Masters blog, "Press Tent"
— AP: " AUGUSTA, Ga. — Tiger Woods, the person, is a work in progress. Tiger Woods, the golfer, is the same as ever. Coming back from a five-month layoff, his marriage and reputation shattered by revelations of serial infidelity, the world's greatest golfer stepped up to the first tee at Augusta National and picked up where he left off. Woods finished with a 4-under 68, the lowest opening score he's ever posted at the Masters." ... ESPN, " Tiger's perfect day at Augusta," by Rick Reilly ... SI.com, "Tiger's return highlights magical day at Augusta:"
DESSERT — "Palin dines out in New Orleans on eve of big speech," by CNN's Peter Hamby: "Sarah Palin has kept a busy itinerary in recent weeks, but before delivering what many consider her most important speech of the year at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference, she spared some time to savor the celebrated cuisine of the Big Easy. The former Alaska governor arrived in New Orleans on Thursday evening and enjoyed a private dinner at Restaurant August, the flagship establishment of acclaimed New Orleans chef John Besh ... who ... welcomed the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee and a guest into a private dining room at his signature restaurant. Palin shared a meal with Cathy Maples, a Huntsville, Alabama resident who bid $63,500 in an online auction last September to win a dinner with the governor. … Palin and Besh … chatted about Hurricane Katrina's impact on the city — a topic that went unmentioned during the opening night of the SRLC on Thursday."
**A message from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: The U.S. Chamber's Campaign for Free Enterprise has designated April "Enterprise & Education Month" to engage and inspire young entrepreneurs through nationwide events and discussions on the role education plays in job creation. The month kicked off on Tuesday, March 30, in Allendale, Michigan, followed with events in South Carolina, Ohio, California, Arkansas, and Texas. The month will culminate in Denver, Colorado, on Monday, April 26 at an event featuring U.S. Chamber President and CEO Tom Donohue and NCF Executive Vice President and former U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings. For details on the month's activities visit www.FreeEnterprise.com. **
****** A message from the Peter G. Peterson Foundation: Washington is debating tax reform. There's talk of substantial tax cuts that will give trillions of dollars back to American taxpayers. That sounds great. But if these tax cuts aren't paid for, future generations will be stuck with the bill. Congress is right to pursue tax reform - the code is outdated, complex and unfair. Tax reform done right should be permanent, because businesses and individuals need certainty to plan and invest. It should be based on realistic, independent projections and assumptions about the effect on our economy and our fiscal outlook. And it should enjoy bipartisan support, so that it's durable over time. Lawmakers should use the valuable opportunity presented by tax reform both to improve our fiscal outlook and strengthen the economy at the same time. Congress, tax reform should grow the economy. Not the debt. Learn more at www.pgpf.org/tax-reform. ******


text:
I was so excited about flying in Air Force One that Sam suggested that I wear and extra Tena pad in case I shit myself. In the event, it was a good idea, after getting the grand tour of this magnificent aircraft my bowels went loop-de-loop and I dropped a big one, must admit it stunk to high heaven. Luckily the luxury toilets on this plane have superb air conditioning....mind you I've blocked the bog trying to flush the pad...hope Willie gets the blame for that one...tee hee.
David Cameron - My Fake Diary
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
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text:
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 5 Pinkie Vs. Balance
Chapter 29 Dan Vs. Ice Skating
Authors notes: Because I'm a glutton for punishment and being forced to fix formatting, there are not one but two songs in this chapter.
Flogging Molly's Devil's Dance Floor
Queen's Don't Stop Me Now
Edit: Which have since been removed as per the rules.
I strongly advise following the link here. Large swaths of this chapter are practically worthless without the music.
"Oooooo! 'Pairs Figure Skating Competition tonight'! Dan! Dan! We should totally enter that! It sounds like fun!" Pinkie said, looking up at a large sign as Chris pulled the car into the lot of the skating arena.
Dan raised an eyebrow at his roommate who was sitting across from him in the backseat. "Fun like the obstacle course was supposed to be fun?"
Pinkie smiled and shook her head, "I know this will be fun. I was born to ice skate almost as much as I was born to party!" She said enthusiastically.
Chris pulled the car into an empty spot and the occupants exited. Dan, Chris, and Elise were back in their regular attire, with a few minor changes to account for the cool temperature of the skating rink. Dan simply donned his green jacket; Chris had swapped out his orange shirt for a puffy, orange vest and was wearing a white, long sleeved shirt under his blue one; and Elise had put on a leather jacket.
Pinkie, of course, opted to change her entire outfit. She was now wearing a long sleeved, pink shirt with her cutie mark featured prominently on the chest and white and pink striped arms, a pink skirt, and white and pink striped leggings that matched the stripes on her arm. Additionally, she was wearing a pink jacket. The outfit covered the vast majority of bruises and bandaged cuts and gashes that covered her body from a day of constant tripping and flinging herself into solid objects. Only a large, white bandage wrapped around her head was partially visible under her massive mop of pink, curly hair.
Dan looked at his roommate as they approached the skating rink. "Born to party?" He said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes! It was my…destinWHAAAAAAAAA." Pinkie said dramatically before tripping over her own feet. She was back up in an instant.
Dan paused. "Yeah, it's starting to look like having an ice skate removed from your abdomen is your destiny." Dan reached a hand up to his roommates shoulder.
Pinkie turned to face him.
"Look…I can tell this means a lot to you," Dan began, "but you're lucky you haven't broken anything at this point. I really think you should stop before you seriously injure yourself."
Pinkie paused. A smile slowly grew across her face. "Dan, are you actually worried about me?!"
Dan retracted his hand with a surprised look. "I…NO…it's just…if you get injured you won't be able to make lactose-free baked goods for me. Also, shut up."
Pinkie's smile widened and she leaned in closer to Dan, "I know full well that you've helped me enough times to know how to make all that stuff yourself."
Chris and Elise had paused to watch the scene unfold before him.
"Are we sure Dan hasn't been replaced by an imposter?" Elise whispered to her husband, her arms wrapped around one of his.
Chris shrugged, "I guess Pinkie just brings out the best in him." Chris commented.
"I didn't think Dan had a best."
"He can be good when he wants to." Chris said, motioning to Dan with his free hand. "…Which, admittedly, isn't very often."
"Hey!" Dan protested to Pinkie. "I only help you to keep you from setting yourself on fire with the oven." He insisted.
Pinkie's smile grew wider still and she closed the distance between their faces to an inch. "So, you do get worried about me."
"I…erm…what I meant to say was…"Dan stammered out, nervously looking to the side as if the words he wanted to say where somehow written a few feet away from him.
He stopped as he felt the warm embrace of his roommate envelop him.
Pinkie whispered a soft, earnest "Thank you." into Dan's ear, and then parted slightly, holding Dan at arm's length. "But this is something I have to do." She insisted with a determined look in her eyes. "But…" Pinkie trailed off. "You'll take care of me on the off chance I do seriously injure myself, right?" Pinkie asked, with big, blue, pleading eyes.
Dan raised an index finger. "Only on the condition that I get to write inappropriate things on your casts in permanent marker."
Pinkie removed her hands, spit into one, and held it out. "Deal!"
Dan spit into his own hand and gave Pinkie's a shake with a smile.
"Oh no..." Elise murmured as her eyes went wide.
"What?" Chris asked.
"I just realized how cute they are together." Elise stated.
"Yeah, so..?"
"I think…I think I ship Dan and Pinkie Pie." Elise said with a small, panicked tone.
"You're shipping your friends? Well, that's kinda odd, but nothing to get upset about."
"No Chris, you don't understand! Now I'm overcome with a desire to see them kiss!"
Elise raised her palms to her cheeks. "Oh gosh! This is like X-Files all over again…" she mumbled.
"What the heck are you two babbling on about over there?" Dan asked as Pinkie and he approached the couple. "What's this about a kiss?"
"I…uh…" Elise searched for something convincing to say. "I was just talking about…kissing my husband. Because I love him!" Elise smiled and looked up at Chris. "Come here… sweetiekins."
Chris chuckled, "Of course, honey-bunches-of-oats."
Elise leaned up to give her husband a passionate kiss.
"Ewww! Save that gross stuff for when you're behind locked doors and boarded up windows." Dan complained.
Pinkie giggled, clutching her hands under her chin, "Hehe…I ship them."
Dan cocked his head at Pinkie. "You ship your friends? You're sick."
"Well…they're married and canon. It's not as weird as them being from two completely different series that a network decided to pair up for some reason, or something." Pinkie said, looking out straight ahead into space.
Hey! You leave my readers alone.
"Oh, I wasn't looking at them." Pinkie said with a knowing grin.
"Who are you talking to?" Dan asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Pinkie smiled. "The fourth wall." She answered.
"…You are so bizarre." Dan said. He sighed. "Come on, let's get this painful experience over with."
The four continued walking towards the ice rink, leaving the handsome, AND NOT WEIRD AT ALL, author to continue his writing in peace.
…Ah, who am I kidding? I'm almost 30 and my wardrobe is 50 percent FiM, Transformers, Star Wars, and anime t-shirts…
Wait…where was I?
Ice skating rink, right…
Chris opened the door to the rink and held it open for his wife and two friends. Pinkie bounded up to the counter. "Four, please! Ooo! Where do we sign up for the pair figure skating?"
A bored looking, male cashier answered. "Here. It's twenty five dollars per couple and another fifty two for admission plus skate rental for four people."
Pinkie eagerly took out her wallet and handed the man a hundred dollar bill as he handed her a piece of paper on a clipboard to fill out.
"Ha! You're renting skates and entering the competition?" An effeminate voice called out. The four looked up to see a young woman with long, red hair with fiery yellow highlights wearing a light purple shirt that prominently featured a sun made out of the same two colors of her hair. Over that she wore a black, leather jacket with a studded collar. An orange skirt with a light purple and yellow stripe going down the side hung around her waist, and under that, leggings with a red and yellow fiery pattern went traveled down to her black boots with a flaming purple design on them. A pair of black and purple ice skates dangled from a hand she held at face level with the wrist bent upwards.
She regarded Pinkie with light green, mocking eyes. "This competition isn't for amateurs, you know."
"Actually, it's specifically for amateur skaters." A masculine voice called out. The voice belonged to a young man with spiky, blue hair wearing a white tee-shirt adorned by a simple crest that alternated for quadrants of light blue and blue with a large, yellow lightning bolt in front of it. He also wore a black jacket with a large white and smaller red horizontal stripe going across the chest and arms. Worn blue jeans went down his legs, rolled up at the end. White and black sneakers finished the ensemble. Simple black and white ice skates dangled loosely by their laces in his hand at his side. "And you really should be nicer to strangers, Sunset." He said, looking at the red head.
"Heh." Sunset swatted some of her long, red and yellow hair behind her shoulder. "It's an open competition. Not my fault they let any riff-raff compete against us competent skaters."
"I'm a competent skater!" Pinkie insisted. "I've been skating since I was a little filly!"
Everyone paused at the odd turn of phrase and stared at the pink hair girl.
Pinkie extended a hand out to Sunset. "My name's Pinkie Pie. Sunset, was it? That's a pretty cool name."
Sunset ignored the hand. "Certainly better than Pinkie Pie."
"HEY!" Dan cried out angrily, placing protective hands around Pinkie's arms. "Why don't you slink back to your fiery hole in the ground? She didn't come here to be harassed by a glory hungry succubus."
Sunsets eyes narrowed at Dan and her mouth changed to a grimace, quickly changing back to an unfriendly grin. "And who's going to make me, little man? You?" She said in a mocking tone, leaning in closer to Dan.
With one quick motion and a flick of a wrist, Sunset was suddenly staring at a lit, golden zippo lighter held inches from her face. "Drop the 'tude, Queeny, or I'll help your hair match the rest of your outfit." Dan said threateningly.
Chris quickly put himself in between Dan and Sunset. "Hey Dan, how about we not get ourselves kicked out or arrested before we get to skate?"
Sunset glanced at the sheet of paper Pinkie was filling out. Sunsets smile reappeared as she regarded the short man. "Dan, eh? Don't tell me you've been skating since you were a 'little filly', too?" She asked mockingly.
"That's none of your G.D. business." Dan shot back angrily.
"Heh. That's a 'no' then. You two should just quit now before you embarrass yourselves. Pink girl is probably better off with the big, dumb looking guy here."
"Heeeey!" Chris protested.
Elise's eyes narrowed.
"Alright, Sunset. That's enough." The blue haired man insisted forcefully.
"Oh, Flash. I'm just trying to save these two from public ridicule." Sunset said, her smile widening.
Flash snatched Sunset's arm and started to drag her away. "Come on, let's just go practice."
Sunset quickly moved her arm out of Flash's grasp. "Fine! Just make sure you clear out plenty of space for us. I'm tired of having little brats getting tripped up in our death spirals."
Flash sighed as the two walked off and looked back apologetically at the four.
Dan looked at Pinkie. "Are you, okay?" He asked.
"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Pinkie asked.
"Well, that demoness said some pretty disparaging things." Dan explained.
"Oh, I don't care about that. I'm just here to have fun!" Pinkie explained with a smile and dismissive wave of her hand.
"Okay, but how cool would it have been if I actually set her hair on fire?" Dan said, grinning.
Pinkie giggled, "Pretty cool. But I would like to try skating before we all start a round of rampant law breaking and assaulting people."
"FINE!" Dan said in a whiny, exasperated tone. "THEN can I set her hair on fire?"
"Dan, you can't just go around setting every person's hair on fire if you don't like them. Los Angeles would become the bald capital of the whole wide world if you did that!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Oh, but it's okay to shoot pancakes at them?" Dan countered with raised eyebrows.
Pinkie frowned. "That was different! She stepped in front of a loaded pancake thrower! People should really know better than to stand in front of siege weaponry."
"I hear that." Chris commented.
Dan sighed, "Alright, fine. Let's just make sure we beat her."
"Dan, it's not about winning! It's about enjoying ourselves!" Pinkie insisted.
Dan grumbled quietly to himself.
"I agree with Pinkie." Chris said.
"Well I don't." Said Elise. "Come on, Chris. Let's sign up."
Dan and Pinkie smiled. Dan grinned an evil toothy smile and Pinkie beamed a happy, excited smile.
"Huh?" Chris regarded his wife, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Are you sure?"
"I'm suddenly overcome with a desire to beat that red headed floozy…" Elise explained, "Um…at ice skating." She added hastily.
"Well, okay…" Chris said going up to the counter. "…but you hate ice skating."
"We have some time to practice before the competition." Elise argued. "I'm sure I'll get the hang of it by then…"
Chris looked over his wife with an unsure look, and turned to the sign-in counter.
Chris stepped out into the ice as he held both his wife's hands. "Alright, we'll take it nice and slow. Let's start with a few laps."
"Chris! Slow and steady isn't going to let us win, we're going to haWAAAAAAAAH!" Elise immediately lost her footing and slipped to the hard ice as her skates touched the slippery substance.
Chris bent down and helped his wife up to her feet. She stumbled a few times, then fell into him. Holding herself up by wrapping her arms around her large husband's torso. "Or…slow…slow is good."
Chris smiled as Elise slowly pushed herself away from him, and held his hand as they skated a few feet and she went crashing to the ground once more.
"Uhhh…you know, what, honey? Why don't you just do your own thing for a while, and I'll catch up." Elise said with a smile as she laid on her back on the ice.
Chris looked down at his wife. "Are you sure?"
"Sure, I'm sure!" Elise insisted.
"…Do you at least want me to help you up?"
"No no…I'll get it. You go have fun." Elise said with a wide, upside-down smile.
Chris smiled. "Alright, sweetie! See you on the rink!" Chris skated off, quickly accelerating into a blazing speed as he made his way around the rink.
Elise let out a loud sigh and continued laying on the cold ice.
"Now, now…let's just go slow. No need to rush this, you're doing fine." A wobbly Dan said, holding onto the hands of an equally wobbly Pinkie Pie.
"Dan! I'm fine!" She insisted. "I'm just getting a feel to the ice. That's all."
"That's all, nothing! Look at you! You can barely stay on your feeeaAAAAAAAH!" Dan lost his footing and fell to the ice, dragging Pinkie with him. The two landed on their stomachs and slid a bit in a heap until they were stopped by Elise who had elected to stay on the ice.
"Hehehe!" Pinkie giggled. "Hey, Elise! Having fun?"
"Oh…the time of my life." Elise said flatly, looking up towards the ceiling.
A voice rang out over the loudspeakers. "Well, I hope you're all having an ice time out there and enjoying the ice weather!"
Dan looked up, "Did…did that man just make the same horrible pun twice in one sentence?"
"Hehe, 'ice'." Pinkie said.
"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!" Dan commanded.
"Dan, I don't think he can hear her." Elise commented
Pinkie slowly climbed to her feat, putting her arms out for balance.
Suddenly, a blue and orange Chris blur approached, jumped, and spun his body twice before skates touched the ground and Chris continued at a rapid pace down the rink.
"Ooo! Ooo! I wanna try that!" Pinkie said, slowly skating after Chris.
She looked back at Dan and Elise. "Er…you two coming?" She asked.
"No." Dan replied. "I'm doing a great job of getting a feel for the ice from down here."
Pinkie smiled and shrugged. "Alright, see you two out there." Pinkie continued her wobbly journey down the ice.
Dan sighed. "Ten bucks says she breaks a leg."
Elise raised an index finger. "I'll bet ten on her arm." She responded.
The two looked up as Sunset rapidly approached, and just as rapidly stopped, spraying the two with ice. "You two do know that ice skating involves actually skating, right?" She asked, it becoming increasingly clear that 'mocking' was her default tone of voice.
Elise and Dan wiped ice off their faces and glared up at her.
"Hey!" Elise shouted out. "My husband and I are going to mop the floor with you out on the ice." Elise, rotating her body and attempting to lift herself up with her arms.
Sunset snickered and smiled a wide grin showing all her teeth, she lowered her body to get closer to Elise. "Don't tell me you entered, too. Now there's four people who are going to go home in tears." Sunset flicked Elise's chin with an index finger. Quickly standing up to get out of Elise's reach.
Elise made a frustrated growl. "Come on Dan. I know places we can send her where she'll never be found again!"
Dan smiled, "Works for me."
Dan and Elise unsteadily stood up on their skates, desperately clinging to each other for balance and quickly finding out the neither was very surefooted. The two quickly ended back in a heap on the ice.
Sunset lifted a hand in front of her mount and began laughing. "Hahahaha. I can't believe you two think you have a chance, let alone are even out on the ice. Your partners would have to be professionals for you two to even stand a chance."
Chris rapidly approached the group, a giant smile adorning his face. "Triple Salchow!" He called out. He jumped from the back inside edge of a skate, rotated three times, and landed on his opposite skate continuing his skating. "Nailed it!" He sung to himself.
Sunset paused. "Okay, so one of you is competent. Still, he's never going to win if he has to carry dead weight around the…"
A pink blur rapidly followed Chris, "Ooo! Ooo! Let me try!" Pinkie also said with an excited smile. She also pressed off with the back inside edge of a skate, rotated three times, and safely landed continuing her skating.
Dan's, Elise's, and Sunset's jaws dropped.
Dan turned to Elise. "Uh…so who wins the bet?"
"I think Pinkie just did…" Elise responded.
"Sunset!" Flash called out, skating up towards the group. "Leave those two alone. I thought we were practicing…"
Sunset turned to flash. "Never mind that. We need to talk about something." Sunset began skating towards the rink entrance.
Dan and Elise attempted standing again, this time avoiding the pitfall of relying on the other for balance.
Flash approached them, "Uh, sorry about Sunset she's kinda…"
Dan interrupted, "A horrible person with no redeeming qualities whose slowly taken over every aspect of your life to the point where you're wondering if your life is even your own or if you're simply the next in a long line of accessories that she uses and throws away when she no longer has a use for them?"
Flash's eyes went wide as he scratched the back of his head. "Uhhh…I was going to say 'competitive'…but…"
"FLASH! Stop fraternizing with the enemy and get over here!"
Flash sighed and skated over to Sunset.
"Dan?" Elise began.
"What?" Dan said in a complaining tone. "She's appallingly terrible. If we can't beat her on the ice, I figure I can at least screw with her love life." Dan explained.
"Good job." Elise said simply.
"Oh…thanks…" Dan sighed. "She's right though… There are kids out here that skate better than us. Pinkie and Chris would be better with a couple of them as partners."
"Dan! That's it!"
"...You want to kidnap a couple of children and force them to skate with Chris and Pinkie? I mean…it's not a perfect plan, but I'm in all the same."
"No! Not kids. They should partner with each other! Just look at them!"
Dan looked out into the rink as
"Throw me! Throw me!" Pinkie pleaded with Chris as he held her aloft.
Chris obeyed.
"Wheeeeeeeeee!" Pinkie rotated twice in the air, and landed on her skates, continuing keeping pace with Chris.
Dan paused. "You mean we would get out of skating AND Sunset would lose?! Elise! That's a perfect plan!"
Elise smiled. "Iknowright?!"
"Sunset! What's the big deal?!" Flash asked, throwing his hands to the sides.
"The big, deal!?" Sunset raised her forearms and hands up and motioned emphatically with them "THE BIG DEAL?! Two of those idiots aren't just good, they're ridiculously good!"
"Okay, so?"
"SO! They're going to switch partners so those two are skating together!" Sunset folded her arms together. "It's what I would do if I came across someone better." She explained.
"Geez, thanks." Flash responded, narrowing his eyes. "Anyways, who cares if they win? You have dozens of trophies already! So what?"
Sunset closed the distance between her and flash to a few inches and leveled an angry index finger at him. "I DON'T LOSE! EVER!"
Flash put his hands up defensively and took a few steps back.
Sunset took a calming breath. "Look! This is an easy fix. I just need you to go out there with a baton and club the pink girl in the knee."
"WHAT?!" Flash said as his expression gave way to complete shock. "Sunset! I'm not going to assault a girl with a baton!"
Sunset paused. "Fine…the big guy, then."
"NO! What is wrong with you?!"
Tears began to well up in Sunsets eyes, "Oh Flash! I'm sorry…I just want to win so much. Ever since I was a little girl…"
Flash began waving his arms horizontally back in forth in front of him. "No! Stop! Not the 'little girl' routine. It was not your dream to win a random non-qualifying skating competition when you were a little girl. And even if it was, you've already done it time and time again!" Flash paused. "Also, I'm pretty sure assaulting another team is grounds for disqualification."
Sunset looked to the ceiling, raising her hands into claws with a frustrated "Grrrrrrrrrr!" She lowered her hands slightly and looked at Flash. "FINE! We'll just beat them in the competition! But one screw up, one missed Axel, or Salchow and we're through!"
Flash sighed.
I need to find myself a nice, quiet girl. Maybe someone who's just really into books…
"Hey! Skate dispenser." Dan called out at the ice rink cashier. "We need to change a registration!"
The cashier sighed. "No changing registrations. If you want to start a new one, it's twenty five dollars."
"WHAT?!" Dan roared. "That's outrageous! They're already in the competition!" Dan turned to Elise. "You hold him, I'll start hitting!"
Elise put a hand on Dan's shoulder. "Don't worry. I got it." Elise pulled out her wallet and handed the cashier a $20 and a $5.
The cashier handed her a clipboard. "Are you two forfeiting? Because there's a thirty five dollar forfeiting fee."
"WHY WOULD WE NEED TO PAY TO QUIT?!" Dan demanded. "AND WHY IS QUITTING MORE EXPENSIVE THAN SIGNING UP?!"
The cashier shrugged, "You'll have to if you want to free up your partners."
Dan erupted into a volcano of incomprehensible growls.
Elise sat down the clipboard, and in a flash of agility, she jumped over the counter and put the cashiers arms in a lock. "Two minutes, and then we switch." She said to Dan.
"Wait, what?!" The cashier called out.
Dan's face of rage changed to a wide, evil smile as he pulled his fist back.
"Hey, Pinkie?" Chris called out as Pinkie skated alongside him.
"Yes, Chris?"
"Have you seen Dan or Elise anywhere?"
"Uhh…" Pinkie shook her head back and forth vigorously.
The two braked their skating and looked around.
"Huh. They're not even out here." Chris said.
"Oops…I guess I was having so much fun, I didn't even notice." Pinkie admitted.
"You're a really good skater by the way!" Chris said with a smile.
"Thanks! You, too. But maybe we should go find…"
The loudspeakers began booming once more. "Wow! I've never seen so many people packed like sardines for a non-qualifying pairs skating competition! Speaking of pairs, did you hear the one about the two strangers who skated out into the middle of a frozen pond? The met up and broke the ice! Hahahaha. Oh, I love that one…"
Suddenly, there was the sound of a door slamming open over the speaker system. "HELP! Two irate competitors just took turns holding me down and punching me! AND THEY STILL NEED TO PAY THEIR FORFEITING FEES!"
"Whoa there! It's nothing to get punchy over!"
"What's wrong? Can't take a little punishme…OH GOD!"
The announcer was cut off as the sounds of panicked yelping, screaming, violence, and maniacal laughter filled the arena.
"Oh!" Pinkie said, pointing up. "There they are!"
Chris's eyes went wide. "Should we…you know stop them?!"
Pinkie shrugged. "They didn't seem like they were enjoying skating anyhow. At least now they're having fun. And, Hey! They're getting along for a change! It's win-win for everybody!" Pinkie pointed out excitedly.
Chris raised an eyebrow, "Except their victims, of course."
Pinkie thought about this for a second tapping an index finger against her cheek. "Yeah…well the cashier and announcer didn't even get a physical descriptions or anything. I don't think anyone actually cares." She said with a shrug.
"Uh…fair enough…I guess."
Pinkie smiled. "So! I guess we're partners then!"
Chris matched her smile, "I guess we are."
"Ooo! Can you throw me a bunch of times during the competition? It's REALLY fun!"
Chris laughed, "Sure, Pinkie!"
"Ooo! Ooo! And do that thing where you hold my hand and I lie really, really, really close to the ground and you spin me super-fast! That one's the best!"
Chris maintained his smile. "You mean a 'death spiral'? Sure."
"THAT'S what it's called!? Geez…I didn't know pairs figure skating was so…metal."
Sunset skated up to the judges. A dark completed middle aged woman flanked by two middle aged men. All three wore white, powdered wigs, and black robes. "Are you three just going to let this happen?! This has got to be a violation of the rules! Disqualify them!"
The two male judges conferred with the one female judges in between them.
"The judges have decided." The female judge began.
Sunset smiled and nodded. "Good."
"We've decided that if these two aren't competing, then there hasn't been any violation of conduct."
"WHAT?! Oh, come on!"
The female judge held up a hand. "We've also decided we never liked the announcer or his horrible puns either. And furthermore, that there's no such thing as a 'forfeiting fee' and our cashier was likely scamming skaters. So he also got what he deserved."
"You can't be serious!" Sunset said in disbelief.
The female judge raised an index finger. "The judge tribunal has spoken! Now…be gone!" She said with a dismissive wave.
Sunset grumbled a number of unpleasant things under her breath and skated away.
Dan giggled. "Hehe. Not that I'm complaining, but I can't believe they haven't even sent anyone up here!"
Elise smiled. "They don't seem to have much in the way of security, do they?"
"Maybe the ice rink had a hiring freeze." Dan said with a smile.
Elise punched him in the arm.
"OW! What was that for?"
"No!" Elise leveled an index finger at Dan. "No more puns! That's why we beat up the announcer in the first place."
"Yeah…I guess you're right." Dan sighed out. "So…I guess this is the list of skaters…and songs?" Dan called out.
"Uh-oh…we never picked out a song for Chris and Pinkie…" Elise said.
Dan held up a hand. "I think I know them well enough to pick out something suitably awesome."
The hints of a grin appeared on Elise's face. "I'll leave it to you, then."
Dan sighed. "I guess we better get all these other competitors out of the way." Dan walked up to the microphone. "Alright, ladies and gents! There's a new sheriff in town. Punning is now an offense punishable by savage beating and we've got a skate competition to run. So, let's get started…"
*many, many, pair skaters later*
"And for our next performance!" Dan rang out, clearly having gotten in the spirit of his new, ill-gotten position. "Sunset Shimmer and Flash Sentry…Wait, seriously?! Elise, was there some sort of awesome name bus our age group missed out on?"
"They're PSEUDONYMS, you MORON!" Sunset called out at the announcing box.
"So I don't get MOBBED by stalkers! D'uh!"
"WHO WOULD EVEN WANT TO STALK YOU?! Except to maybe burn your house down after MEETING you…I…oh, okay, you have a point." Dan admitted.
After a brief pause, the sounds of string instruments and a drum beat was heard as Britney Spear's Toxic began to play and…
A window to the announcer's box shattered as a shoe was thrown through it.
"THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT SONG!" Sunset screamed. "GET IT RIGHT OR I'LL COME UP THERE AND SLIT YOUR THROAT WITH AN ICE SKATE!"
"Wow, Dan." Elise began. "I think you just found your soulmate."
Dan regarded the shoe, picked it up, and leveled a glare at Elise. "Did you just pun?"
"What…I didn't…" Elise looked at the shoe and sighed. "Okay…go ahead and thrOW!" Elise exclaimed as the shoe impacted the side of her head. Elise looked down at the black and white sneaker. "Whose shoe IS this?"
"Can I have my shoe back?" Flash called out from the ground.
Elise stood up and looked out into the rink. She picked up the shoe and lobbed it in Flash's direction.
"Thank you!" Flash called out.
Dan sighed and swapped a CD into a player. He pressed a few buttons and the rink was filled with the sounds of rhythmic clicks quickly joined by the sounds of a tin whistle.
Sunset's angry expression faded as her pupils dilated and an evil looking grin spread across her face. She and Flash skated out into the rink in rhythm to the music. A bass drum entered the fray of sound and gave way to rapid percussion followed by guitars as Flash and Sunset began spinning rapidly in unison from a standing position and lowering themselves while extending a leg until finishing in a sitting position as they continued to spin.
Wicked smile plastered on her face, Sunset stood up and held out her hands. Flash grabbed a hold as they skated, Sunset skating backwards.
Flash picked up Sunset and flung her into the air.
Sunset spun a couple times, and fell back into Flash's waiting grasp.
Flash set Sunset down as the two held hands and gained speed around the rink. Suddenly the lights in the rink changed to an assortment of red and yellows that turned orange when they intersected.
Sunset lowered to the ground diagonally away from flash as he bended his knees in a crouch. Sunset extended her body as far as she could. It circled Flash mere inches off the ground as the two rapidly spiraled with Flash at the epicenter and a Sunset extended outwards. Her hand holding Flash's and a single skate that touched the ice the only two things keeping her from falling.
Flash raised Sunset up as she pressed against him and the two continued skating.
The two parted and began skating side by side.
The two jumped into the air.
Spun three times.
And landed, continuing skating side by side.
Sunset reached out to grab Flashes hand, as a yellow light enveloped them
Sunset lifted a leg high into the air and placed it on Flash's shoulder. Flash held on to both her hands as they continued to skate.
Flash and Sunset let go of a hand briefly as Sunset lowered her leg and reached out for Flash's hand once more, facing him with the same smile she had worn since the beginning of the song.
Sunset and Flash freed a hand and extended their bodies away from each other, a red and yellow light intersected, turning the couple orange.
The two began another spiral. This time, Sunset turned so her back was towards the ice, supported herself on a leg, and extended the other leg out, leaning her head down as Flash continued to spin her around and around himself.
"Elise? What the heck are we watching?!" Dan exclaimed.
"Uhhh…pairs figure skating?" Elise offered meekly.
"I've SEEN pairs figure skating. It's like two bored dancers having a snooze fest over a field of ice with the occasional spin or jump. This is…intense." Dan offered.
"Well…she's very, very good. I'll give her that…What's with all the red and yellow lights?"
Dan frowned as he pushed an assortment of buttons in time with the music. "I'm being transfixed by her witchcraft and Celtic punk, Elise! You have to stop me!"
"Uhhh…I'm not sure I could if I wanted to. This is too good. I just hope Chris and Pinkie can match this." Elise stated motioning out into the rink.
Chris looked out as Flash and Sunset proceeded to a number more jumps, throws, and spins. "Wow! They're really good! Don't you think so Pinkie?..Pinkie?" Chris looked down at Pinkie.
Pinkie stood transfixed on the scene in front of her. Expressionless and motionless except for her eyes that frantically followed the skaters' every move. The world seemed very far away as the music played in her ears and the two skaters continued their mad, frenzied dance across the fiery icescape.
Flash and Sunset held hands as the two spun around, their hands at the epicenter.
The two bended their knees and lowered themselves closer to the ice, continuing to hold hands.
The two broke contact and spun away from each other, raising to their feet, and skating around the rink in unison again. They executed another jump, spinning in the air in unison, and touched ice again. They closed the distance and held hands again.
Flash pulled Sunset in close.
Lifted her.
And flung her into the air.
Sunset spun her body a few times.
And landed on her skates.
And turned to skate back towards Flash, grabbing his hands once more.
A red light passed over Sunset, casting dark shadows over her evil, grinning expression.
The two began a third spiral. Once again, Sunset extended her body out as far as it would go. Only supported by Flash and a single skate. This time, she laid back towards the ice. The back of her head, inches off the ground.
Flash lifted Sunset up again. And the two rapidly skated together holding a hand to gain speed.
Flash spiraled Sunset around him again. Sunset supported herself on a leg, and bent the other one towards her back, grabbing it with her free hand. Slowly, Flash lowered her to the ground and Sunset extended her leg. She craned her neck, bringing her face within inches of the ice.
Flash brought Sunset back up to her feet.
The two skated forward, Jumped,
Spun three times,
And hit the ice simultaneously.
The two flung their arms out as the song finished.
The crowd exploded into wild cheers.
The two skated back to the entrance to the rink, frantically trying to catch their breaths.
Sunset turned to Pinkie. "Huff…pufff…beat THAT!"
Pinkie shook her head and her eyes adjusted to the light as if she had just woken up from a deep sleep. She turned to Sunset. Pinkie's blank slate of a face gave way to a smile that started slowly and eventually spread across her entire face. "That was AMAZING! I loved it!"
"Uh…you did?" Sunset asked, surprised that Pinkie would complement what was certainly going to be the skating she lost to.
Pinkie nodded her head vigorously, "I learned so much just from watching you two! I can't wait to try some of that out when it's my turn!"
"WHAT?!" Sunset exclaimed.
It took me months to get those spins right, and I nearly killed myself…and Flash, I guess… doing them. Either she's a savant, or she's going to get herself killed.
Fingers crossed that it's the later…
"And FINALLY, our last contestants; Chris Pearson and Pinkamena Diane Pie!" Dan called out.
"Oops! Speak of the devil." Pinkie said with a giggle. "Come on, Chris! We have to do one of those spinny things where you hold my hand and I hold myself like this!" Pinkie continued skating on one leg, and bent her other behind her back, holding her skate with a hand as she extended the other one out. "It looked like so much fun!"
"Heh. Sure Pinkie." Chris said simply.
Sunset shimmer gawked after them.
She can't be human…she just can't be.
"Huh." Chris said. "I just realized we don't have a song."
"Oh, you're right! I wonder if Dan and Elise…"
Chris and Pinkie smiled at each other and extended their hands out towards each other.
The two slowly began skating around the rink.
The two let go of each other's hands.
In unison, the two jumped slightly and spun once.
They hit the ground, and bounded off again.
Their skates lightly touched the ice and they jumped and spun again.
And again.
The two smiled at each other again and picked up speed.
The two raced across the rink.
Chris picked up Pinkie and flung her into the air.
Pinkie spun three times before Chris caught her and set her down again.
The two zoomed around the rink at a breathtaking speed.
In unison, the two jumped off the ice again…
…and executed two perfectly synchronized triple spins.
The two reached out for each other's hands and continued their rapid skating.
The two turned, facing each other and grabbed the others free hand and began rapidly spinning, bending their knees and extending a leg out, lowering themselves to the ground.
Chris and Pinkie let go of a hand and extended their arms. Pinkie extended her body out with her back towards the ice, supporting herself on skate, and Chris lowered his body holding Pinkie's body inches off the ground.
Chris raised Pinkie back up.
The two continued their rapid race across the rink.
Chris lifted Pinkie again and threw her into the air.
Pinkie rotated several times.
Hit the ground.
And began rapidly spinning in place.
Chris reached out and, lifted her, and placed her on the ground as he held her hand…
…spinning at the same rapid pace as Pinkie extended her arm, and a leg, lifting her other leg towards her back and grabbing her skate.
Pinkie released Chris's hand and continued spinning on a single leg with her arm extended as she continued to hold a leg and arm behind her back.
Chris dashed over to Pinkie and picked her up, spinning with the same momentum the punk blur of curly hair was maintaining moments before
Chris threw Pinkie into the air again as she spun. She landed back safely in Chris hands.
"Did…did she let go on a death spiral?!" Flash asked in disbelief.
"AND SUPPORTED HERSELF WHILE SPINNING?!" He added.
Sunset said nothing and glared fiery daggers at the skating pair.
Elise and Dan stood in silence looking out into the rink.
"Nice song, pick by the way." Elise said breaking the silence.
"Thanks but…Did you know Chris was this good?!" Dan said motioning out into the rink with both hands.
"Of course not! I guess I should go skating with him more often." Elise mused, eyes still fixed to the couple. "What surprises me more is Pinkie!"
"And to think she was tripping over everything that stood more than an inch off the ground a few hours ago." Dan commented
Chris held Pinkie high in the air, supporting her by a leg and her stomach as she extended her arms to her side and a leg out behind her.
The two continued at breakneck speeds as Chris lowered Pinkie to the ground.
The two joined hands again, and once again began spinning and lowering themselves closer to the ground.
The two began another spiral. Chris lifted a leg and grabbed a skate with a hand as he extended Pinkie out. Pinkie leaned backwards, extending her head and leg out as Chris spun her.
Pinkie extended her arm out to Chris he helped her and the two began slowly skating around the rink to the roaring cheers of the crowd.
Pinkie skated up to Sunset Shimmer. "Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! That was so"
A vein became visible on Sunset's forehead as her eye twitched. "I'll DESTROY YOU!" Sunset leaped at Pinkie, but was quickly stopped as Flash wrapped her arms around her.
"That's enough, Sunset. Let's give them some space before you get us kicked out." Flash said, dragging the kicking and screaming woman away.
Pinkie merely looked after the two with a disappointed look on her face.
Chris skated up to Pinkie. "Pinkie, that was incredible! Where'd you learn how to do that?!" He asked.
Pinkie turned to Chris and smiled. "A few minutes ago when I was watching Sunset and Flash."
"WHAT?! That's impossible!"
"Silly Chris! It was mostly just things I saw Sunset doing…" Pinkie looked to the side and gave herself a little grin. "Mostly."
Chris sighed.
Right, I forgot I was supposed to stop asking questions…
"GOSH!" Elise exclaimed. "My husband is amazing!"
Dan just sighed sadly to himself.
"What's your problem?" Elise asked raising an eyebrow.
Dan looked up at her. "Do you think we're going to have to go skating more often?"
Elise smiled and shrugged. "I'm sure the two of us can always find something else to occupy ourselves with if that happens."
Loud banging sounded out from a closed door. "WHY HAVEN'T WE BEEN LET OUT, YET?!"
"Yeah, they're really keeping us in the dark here!" Another voice rang out.
"The JUDGES have reached a decision!" A female voice spoke out dramatically.
Dan and Elise turned to face the three judges that walked up and into the announcer's booth.
"Well! What is it?" Dan asked.
"We have decided that we can't decide between the final two contestants! TROPHIES FOR EVERYONE!" The judge announced dramatically.
"WHAT?!" Dan and Elise exclaimed in unison.
"That's ridiculous! Just make them have a skate off, or something." Dan suggested irritably.
"You dare defy the will of the non-qualifying competition judge tribunal!?"
"I do dare!" Dan said.
The female judge pointed out at Dan and Elise. "Judges! Exert your judicial powers upon them!"
The two male judges walked forward into a hailstorm of fists and kicks that quickly left them beaten and subdued.
The female judge paused. "Skate off, it is."
Dan grinned a toothy smile and grabbed the microphone. "The judges are deadlocked on the winner. The final two contestant will have skate off!"
The crowd roared in approval.
"A SKATE OFF?!" Sunset screamed at the booth. "WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IS THIS?!"
"Don't look at me!" Dan said into the microphone. "It was either that or you both win!"
"Ooo! Ooo! Let's do that instead!" Pinkie insisted.
Sunset turned and glared at Pinkie. "No way! I'm not sharing my victory with the likes of you. Come on Flash."
Flash sighed as Sunset reached for his hand. The two skated out into the center.
"We're going to do the mother of all death spirals!" Sunset announced.
"Fine. Fine." Flash muttered as the two picked up speed.
"Awww…I was really hoping we'd both win…" Pinkie exclaimed.
Sunset looked back at her. "I'm going to mop the ice with that stupid looking curly mess you call hair." She turned back towards the rink.
Chris smiled and held out his hand. "Come on…I bet we can skate circles around them!"
Pinkie took his hand and smiled. "Literally, or figuratively?"
Chris chuckled. "Hehe, 'figuratively'" He said to himself. "But let's maybe try literally first."
"Ooo! Ooo! Do you think you can pick me up and spin around really, really, really fast while doing it?!" Pinkie asked excitedly.
"That sounds ludicrously dangerous and probably physically impossible."
Pinkie frowned.
Chris smiled. "Let's do it."
Pinkie beamed. "Yay!"
Flash extended his arm out as Sunset held tight. She turned her back to the ice as the couple began lowering themselves. She extended her leg on the ice, far, far away and the two began rapidly spiraling as Sunset was held a mere inch of the ground.
Chris and Pinkie skated out towards the couple and began skating around them in a wide circle. Once the two had achieved a rapid speed, Chris Lifted Pinkie into the air, supporting her with both hands on her stomach.
"Wheeee!" Pinkie through her arms and legs out to the side as Chris began to spin in the same circular arc as before. The two spun into a blur until they resembled a top, spinning rapidly over the ice.
Without warning, the circle they were spinning on cracked, and the ice fractured. The circle of ice containing Flash and Sunset capsized into icy water that the two quickly found themselves submerged in.
Elise motioned out into the arena. "HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY WATER UNDER THE RINK!"
Dan paused. "Ummm…" He turned to the judges. "I think that's 'game' those two just broke the rink with their skating…not to mention many laws of physics and reality…"
The female judge nodded. "Thankfully the non-qualifying competition judge tribunal does not recognize the laws of physics or reality within these halls." She leaned down to the microphone. "Pinkie and Chris are the winners!"
Pinkie and Chris stopped spinning and Chris gently set Pinkie on the ground.
"Whoawhoawhoa…" Pinkie dizzily skated around and regained her balance. With a huge smile, she skated up to Chris and gave him a giant hug. "We did it!" She said excitedly.
Chris beamed proudly. "We sure did. Just…don't ask me how…"
Dan and Elise ran down the crowded arena steps towards the rink.
"Chris! Pinkie!" Elise cried out. "You two were absolutely spectacular!"
Dan and Elise touched ice with their feet simultaneously, and immediately flew backwards, hitting their heads' on the rink entrance floor.
"Ow." Elise said simply.
"Yes, Elise." Dan agreed. "Very, 'ow'."
Pinkie and Chris skated up to the downed pair and helped them back onto their feet.
Elise immediately leapt up to plant a passionate kiss on her husband's lips as Chris's arms encircled her.
"Uh. Hi, honey."
"Chris! That was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen! I'm so, so proud of you!"
Chris smiled and leaned in to give his wife another kiss.
"Gross!" Dan commented. "Get a room, you…" Dan stopped as he felt Pinkie's crushing embrace, her soft face rubbing energetically against his rough stubble.
Dan struggled in Pinkie's grip enough to look her in the face and smiled. "Yes Pinkie. You were absolutely incredible. Where'd you learn to skate like…"
Chris interrupted. "Don't ask, Dan. You'll be happier that way." He explained.
Dan looked back at Pinkie holding his smile and shrugged. "Fair enough."
The four paused as they heard splashing and frantic sputters from the rink as Flash and Sunset emerged from the water and struggled to climb onto the slippery ice.
"Oh! Chris! We better go help them." Pinkie skated off towards the pair, Chris in pursuit.
Chris bent down to help up Flash, who graciously accepted.
Pinkie bent down to help Sunset. "You were the most spectacularly great skater I ever SAW!" Pinkie said with a smile as she held out a hand to help Sunset.
Sunset elected to spit a large amount of water onto the face of Pinkie in lieu of accepting her help.
"HEY! Your hair will dry, and when it does I'm going to turn your head into a roman candle!" Dan called out from the rink entrance.
Pinkie frowned and wiped away the water.
"Get lost." Sunset said to Pinkie. "For your sake, I hope we never meet again."
Pinkie sighed, and began skating back to the entrance of the rink.
Chris frowned at Sunset and continued on after Pinkie.
Sunset reached out a hand. "Help me up, Flash."
"Yeah…so…I'm breaking up with you." Flash stated.
"WHAT?! WHY?!" Sunset demanded.
"I uhh…I think I hate you…like…with every fiber of my being. You are without a doubt the worst human being I have ever met. So..." Flash put on a happy smile and waved. "Bye!" He skated away towards the rink entrance.
"Wait! Flash! At least get me out of the water!" Sunset pleaded.
The lights in the stadium went dim with a loud 'THOMB'.
"Uhhh…anybody?! PLEASE?!"
The lights went out completely, leaving Sunset in the cold, dark water.
"…please? I think…I think hypothermia is starting to set in…"
Out in the dark parking lot, people filled out into the warm Southern California night. Lights from the parking lot shinning down on them and the cars.
Dan and Pinkie walked side by side.
Elise walked firmly attached to her husband's arm.
"I can't believe we went through all that just for…THAT!" Dan commented, motioning to the small trophy adorned by a golden pair of figure skaters in Pinkie's hand.
Pinkie shrugged. "Flash did say it was for amateurs. Besides…" Pinkie smiled wide. "I didn't care about winning. I'm just glad everyone had fun…in their own ways, of course." She added with a sly grin directed at Dan and Elise
Dan and Elise exchanged a glance and chuckled.
"So," Dan began. "You work out your balance?"
Pinkie turned to him. "Are you kidding?!" She said, excitedly handing him the trophy. "Watch THIS!"
Pinkie spread her legs, put her hands into the air, and leaned sideways onto her hand executing a perfect cartwheel directly into the side of a car.
Dan cringed at the impact.
Pinkie giggled at herself from the ground. "Hehehe. Whoops! I need to remember to look where I'm going when I do that."
Dan quickly walked over and helped Pinkie to her feet.
Chris piped up, "So? Dinner?" He said with a large grin.
Dan furrowed his brow at Chris as Pinkie wrapped her arms around one of Dan's. "Excuse you, Mr. Feedbags. But I was promised a game system and a new T.V. for my troubles."
Chris frowned, "Dan…everything's closed at this hour."
Dan's expression sank into gloom.
Pinkie grinned mischievously. "Didn't stop us last time." She sang out.
Chris looked surprise and looked down at Dan and Pinkie. "What? You and Dan…"
"She means her and me." Elise said with a smile looking up at Chris.
Chris looked down at Elise. "You?!"
Elise shrugged and smiled encouragingly at her husband. "Come on! A few cut wires, a few picked locks, some quiet sneaking. We'll be in and out before anyone know we were there."
Chris began to look pensive.
"Ooo! Ooo! Can we stop at Dan and my apartment first! I have night vision goggles now! They're so…night visiony!"
Elise nodded. "Of course!" She said enthusiastically.
"I hope you have another pair for me." Dan stressed.
Pinkie nodded vigorously, "Silly Danny! I got enough for everybody!"
"Even me?" Chris asked with a giddy smile.
Pinkie looked up at Chris and winked. "Especially you, skate partner."
Chris's attitude immediately did a 180. "Come on everyone! Let's go commit breaking and entering and pay for everything we take!"
Pinkie raised a triumphant arm. "Yay!" She let go of Dan's arm and turned to him "Race ya to the car!"
"Umm…I'm good…"
Pinkie dashed off to the nearest car, jumped on the hood, ran up to the roof of the car and began bounding from car top to car top towards the blue sedan.
Dan paused and sighed with a small smile. He felt a large hand on his shoulder and looked up to Chris.
"Guess you'll have to get use to not being better at her at everything." Chris said with a grin.
Dan's smile widened. "I'm about to have video games." He said with a shrug. "It'll be enough."
"Come ON slowpokes! You three are the slowest pokes I ever saw poke!" Pinkie called out from the car.
The trio of friends made their way to the car and a night full of burglary, food, and fun between good friends.


text:
BURNABY, B.C. — Pick a spot. Don't change your mind.
Those words of wisdom passed on by many a youth coach to his young protégés when it comes to the art of penalty taking will surely be ringing in the ears of members of the Vancouver Whitecaps ahead of Thursday's playoff showdown with the LA Galaxy at the Home Depot Center (10:30 pm ET; TSN/RDS2 in Canada, NBCSN in US, live chat on MLSsoccer.com).
If the match is tied after 90 minutes of play and 30 minutes of extra time, spot kicks will decide who advances to the Western Conference Semifinals.
"We do practice penalties and we do practice them throughout the season and it's something in the past that I've been able to come out on top in," head coach Martin Rennie told reporters during a conference call on Tuesday. "What I've tried to do throughout the year is try to find out who our best penalty-kick takers are ... so some of the best players may not be on the field at that point.
"Although we were only fortunate to get one penalty kick this whole season we feel confident we have guys that can take care of this if we get to that point."
READ: Will Mattocks, Miller pair up top against LA?
While many observers aren't giving the Whitecaps much of a chance against the defending MLS Cup champions, and many fans would likely take the theoretical coin flip of a shootout if that was offered, the players themselves insist taking care of business before it gets to that stage is the aim.
"However we get that goal, whether it's a free kick, a fluky goal, whatever it takes, we'll take," midfielder John Thorrington said, "and hopefully be able to capitalize on the chances that we have and get a goal — or two."
At the other end of the pitch, goalkeeper Brad Knighton, who stopped a penalty during league play, says he's done his homework and is ready to play hero should that be required.
"If we shut them down defensively, and if we do the things that we're going to do right and we catch them on the counter like we're looking to do and we take our half chances I think we'll be excited at the end of the game," Knighton said. "If it ends up 0-0 at the end of the game, we're going to PKs."
"So no team really has to score to go through — that's the way we're looking at it," he added. "We're going to turn some heads I think."
Martin MacMahon covers the Vancouver Whitecaps for MLSsoccer.com.


text:
Block Neon Drip Vase - Green
Make your home feel like the Tate Gallery by adding sophisticated yet subtle pieces like this Block Neon Drip Vase in Green! This beautiful vase is mostly cylindrical white and comes with two small dribbles of bright neon green paint.
The design is simple but the effect is rather striking! Place your favourite flowers inside the vase and use this on your living room space, kitchen or even bathroom.
If you like, you have grab a couple of these in different colours, place all of them on top of a striking console table and add flowers. You'll have your mini little gallery right at home in no time!
Block Neon Drip Vase - Green Details:
Materials Used: Bone China
Diameter: 4.5 cm
Height: 22.5 cm
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This item is sold and dispatched directly by Red Candy.
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|Mainland UK - standard delivery
|Mainland UK - next working day delivery (order before 12pm)
We offer a 14 day no-quibble money-back guarantee, so if you're not delighted with your purchase you can return it for a refund. Note that bespoke and made-to-order items are excluded.
About the seller
Red Candy is dedicated to the celebration of red home furnishings and modern interior accessories. More about Red Candy...
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text:
Recently, Amazon came out with plans to have drones deliver packages to the ever-increasing number of customers who are using this online resource for shopping rather than going into stores. Now, Amazon is looking to deliver these packages quicker than you can get a pizza from Dominos.
As much as I would love to get my supplies, gifts and impulse purchases 30 minutes after ordering, I'm not sure I would want a drone at my house or would want to be outside with the massive amount of unmanned vehicles going from house-to-house to drop off our packages.
The news of this drone prospect came from Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, who said they are looking to offer delivery via drone-like "octocopters." As Bezos explained in "60 Minutes", the new program will be known as "Amazon Prime Air".
Then Bezos played a Prime Air demo video for the "60 Minutes" team that showed how his octocopters will pick up packages in small yellow buckets at Amazon's fulfillment centers and whiz through the air to deliver items to individual customers 30 minutes after they hit the "buy" button online at Amazon.com.
Let the flying begin – or maybe not. While Amazon has set an eager four or five-year deadline to begin the unmanned deliveries, I can't see how it would be a safe idea. I also know I am not alone in my worries.
In a round table discussion, the Daily Beast's Peter Beinart offers this prediction: "The day we start seeing drones flying all around is the day we see people shooting down those drones."
Let's start there. If Amazon believes that people aren't going to take the opportunity to damage, capture or screw with these creepy little robots lurking around to deliver the packages we can't seem to live without overnight or for five to seven days – then they are delusional.
Then, there's the safety factors. How in the world could this be safe? How many will be flying around at a time? Would the Federal Aviation Administration even let this happen?
Of course, drones have become a lot more popular. From what I found online, they can be purchased online for about $1,000. Many of them are used to attach GoPro cameras.
It's interesting when the self checkout stands at the grocery stores first came into existence there was some resistance. Many, like myself, were more than a little upset about these machines taking jobs from people. However, I have found myself using them more often than not. I like the convenience.
But, is convenience worth having robots lurking around the sky?
We want to push for our privacy more often than not, but with today's technology stores and organizations are able to track us more than ever. How can anyone think these robotic drones aren't going to be another layer of being an information-gathering source for retailers to use to stalk you?
A recent news report warned shoppers to be weary about having cell phones on while shopping in stores. Why would it matter? Well, apparently your shopping habits are recorded through GPS signals.
What will drones being sent to your home do? First, there's the GPS coordinates for your home, which leads to demographics. Who lives in your area? Pay scale, gender, age and much more can quickly be recorded for retailers to use.
Then, we have cell phone issues for you when you are actually inside of stores. Recent reports state that more than a dozen national retailers are working to track how people shop, the way online shoppers are tracked through cookies.
We thought privacy was an issue before – that's nothing once drones start flying through the friendly skies.