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Pinkie Pie stirred, the morning sun in her eyes, and brushed up against something soft and light that sent tickles up her spine. She giggled, then quickly stifled it with a hoof as she remembered just what that soft something was: Rainbow Dash's wings. Taking care not to jostle the mattress, she rolled over to where she could gaze at her best friend in the whole wide world. Tears sprang to her eyes. Less than a month ago, they'd been nothing more than good pals, her with an unspoken longing deep within that not even she could understand. All it had taken was mutual understanding for things to move forward, and now they were sharing her bed for the first time.
"You're so beautiful, Rainbow Dash," she whispered, brushing her lips over the ear of the pegasus, who murmured and kicked a hind leg without waking. Pinkie bit her lower lip. The excitement was more than she could contain, but she also didn't want to interrupt their first morning together. There was only one solution: pancakes.
Rolling out of bed to her hooves, she tip-toed quietly around the bedframe, casting one more glance back at her fillyfriend and stifling another giggle.
You're so lucky, Pinkie Pie!
Being in love is like a secret you share with the whole world! It's the best thing that's ever happened to me!
"Which means pancakes will make it super-double best," she murmured to herself as she shuffled down to the kitchen.
At the bottom of the stairs, she stretched. Sleeping with another pony wasn't quite as comfy as she had imagined. Not only did Dash toss and turn all night, but the bed was also just a little bit too small for both of them. Not that she minded; it was an excuse to cuddle up close all through the night. Still, her back was groaning. She'd just need to get a bigger bed, that's all.
Putting on a smile and blowing an errant curl out of her line of sight, she trotted to the kitchen and began the ever-enjoyable process of mixing up frycake batter. As she worked, she hummed a tune to herself, and starting trying to think up words for it.
"What rhymes with pancake? Plantcake, blandcake, clamcake... Ugh, none of those sound yummy!"
The rhythm of measuring, mixing, frying and sweeping about the kitchen made time pass, and soon there were two plates atop the counter with heaping stacks of flapjacks, butter and syrup oozing down the sides. Steam rose off the golden cakes and Pinkie had to wipe away drool with a foreleg.
"Calm down, Pinkie ol' gal. First wake up Rainbow Dash. Then eat tasty pancakes!" She clapped her hooves together and squealed. "This is gonna be the best morning ever!"
As she hopped out of the kitchen, preparing to set up a table in the more private backroom for them to breakfast at, there was a knock at the door. Adjusting her trajectory midair, she moved towards it.
"I wonder who that could be... We don't open early on Sundays... I wonder if I should send them away... Hmm, or maybe I should welcome them in, because that's good for business! But what if they're loud and wake up Mr. and Mrs. Cake, or the foals? Or what if they have spiders? Oh that would be terrible! If I let them in, the spiders would run everywhere and get into all the cabinets and gobble up all the pancakes and then everypony would be mad at me! Oh well, here goes! Hi--"
The gears in Pinkie's brain locked up as she was faced with a number of conundrums. First: that the pony before her, a tall black pegasus with short blond mane and a monocle, was entirely unfamiliar, and that meant new pony party. Second: the question of whether or not to greet him warmly or send him away. Well, it wouldn't do to send him away and then invite him to a party, so maybe that wasn't such a problem after all. Finally: what was this strange pony doing here? She hadn't any time for implementing a plan to answer any of these questions, however, as he cleared his throat and began speaking.
"Might there be a pony here who goes by the online handle 'PartyPartyParty99'?" His voice was pinched, his pronunciation overly proper. She could hear the air quotes around her Canternet name. The gears kicked back on.
"Umm, I'm PartyPartyParty99." New conundrums blossomed. "Why... I mean how..."
"Ah, good," he said, a smile creeping into his clean features, "that saves me some trouble, then. Don't go anywhere, I'll be back in a tick!" Spreading his wings, he launched backwards and was gone from her field of vision before she could blink.
She squinted, frowning. "That was weird..." With a shrug, she shut the door and bounced back to what she was doing before, the entire scene already out of her mind. It was then that she nearly bumped into a groggy and frizzy Rainbow Dash.
"Mornin', Pinkie. Somethin' smells good."
"Oh my gosh, Rainbow Dash!" She threw her forelegs around the pegasus without missing a beat. "I made you breakfast, to celebrate our first night spent together! Why don't you go wait in the breakfast nook, and I'll bring out the pancakes!"
Rainbow gave her a lopsided smile. "That's great, Pinks. I was gonna go spend the day at Applejack's though, can I maybe get a doggie bag?"
Pinkie's face drooped. "But... don't you want to spend time together? It's early and we've got the whole store to ourselves!"
There was another knock at the door, along with a muffled, "I've returned!" Rainbow Dash cocked her head.
"Sounds like you've got company, Pinkie. I really would like to stay, you know I would, I've... just been thinking about some things lately, and I wanna go have some me-time. You understand, right?" She tousled Pinkie's mane and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Pinkie didn't understand at all. The knocking returned, more insistent.
"Might wanna get that!" Dash said, zipping into the kitchen and emerging a few seconds later with her mouth full. "Ah heave ou' ha bag," she said, unhelpfully.
Numbly, Pinkie shuffled back to the door and opened it. Now along with the black pegasus were a diminutive grey earth pony in a black cowpony hat and an elegant fuchsia unicorn mare, her purple mane done up in fancy curls held fast by a golden tiara. None of them seemed happy to see her, and she shrank back from the door, even as her Welcome New Ponies to Ponyville Reflex was actively kicking her in the flank to party right now, darnit.
"My name," said the pegasus, "is Black Snooty, and these are my associates, Hokey Smokes and Queen Meanie."
Those names meant something to her. Her mouth moved soundlessly.
"We're here t'settle a score with ya." Hokey Smokes's accent reminded her of Applejack's. Hadn't Rainbow Dash just said something about Applejack...?
Queen Meanie cleared her throat. "Simply put, we have discovered your 'fan fictions' on the Canternet, and your despicable use of our names therein!"
"Kindly take down all copies of your writing," Black Snooty continued, "or we shall be forced to sue for defamation of character!"
The three ponies seemed to grow in size as their glares washed over her until they were no more than dark silhouettes with bright, powerful eyes. She shrank back onto her rump. Her throat was dry; her mouth wouldn't work.
"Very well, I think our point has been made," Black Snooty said, turning about and flicking his tail haughtily. "We will be staying at the Ponyville Inn, Miss Party, and we will give you one day to deal with slanderous scripts before we take action, and we shall be checking in on you. Until then, adieu!"
They turned as one. Hokey Smokes stuck his tongue out at her and followed the other two away from the Sugarcube Corner.
Her mind whirled. A lawsuit over her fanfiction? This was not the best morning ever. What had gone wrong?
Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash would know what to do.
She spun about, not bothering to get up off the floor, but Rainbow Dash wasn't there.
Trouble Comes in Threes
Why Fanfiction Is Bad for You
by Present Perfect
"...And then they said they were gonna sue me, can you believe it? And when I turned around to find Rainbow Dash, because I was feeling poopy and I wanted some comfort, she was gone! Just, poof!" Pinkie had by this time climbed to the top of a bookcase and was making a circuit of the upper reaches of the main library room, including the parts that did not have bookcases to walk on.
"I'm worried about Dashie, Twilight. I mean, she didn't even want to stay and have breakfast with me! I can't understand why! I just wanted to celebrate our first night spent sleeping together..."
"Whoa, Pinkie, hold on." Twilight looked up from her computer, color draining from her face. "I don't need to know about what you two do in bed together, okay? That's not something you should really be sharing with other ponies, you know?"
Pinkie squinted at Twilight, raising her eyebrows. "What we did? You mean snuggling? Or kissing? I think we talked, too." She pointed an accusatory hoof at Twilight, which caused her to drop from midair and land daintily on her other hooves. "Stop distracting me, Twilight! The point is, I have a real hunky-dunky problem, maybe two problems even, because I dunno what Dashie's up to yet, which might be a problem in itself, which means I have three problems, which means..."
The pink pony stopped mid-sentence and perked up, grinning. "Yes, Twilight?"
The unicorn let out a heavy sigh. "I don't mean to pile problems onto your problems, but you might have one more."
Pinkie's ears drooped. "Oh no, now what? Did Derpy finally find the can of exploding springy snakes I accidentally dropped down her chimney during last Winter Wrap-Up?"
"No, Pinkie, I... What?" Twilight shook her head rapidly, sending her eyes spinning for a moment. "No! I'm talking about these stories!"
"My stories? Don't tell me you don't like them, Twilight!" Pinkie's eyes became impossibly huge, glistening with a multitude of stars. She gazed up at Twilight, despite having been higher than her a moment ago, her bottom lip jutting pleadingly forward. Twilight sighed again.
"It's not so much that I don't like them, Pinkie, but the way you've used my likeness, Rarity's... All our friends... Well, if any of them found out about these, they might get upset, especially Rarity. Fashionface is such an unlikeable character! I can't believe you'd think about Rarity in that way! And don't get me started on Midnight Twinkle and her 'goth clothes'..." Twilight glared and scrunched up her muzzle, but the gesture was lost on her irascible friend.
"Oh, Twilight, don't be such a silly! It's not that I think any of you are really like that! I wrote the first story to be funny, and to cheer up Rainbow Dash when she was feeling sad! The characters just kinda took on a life of their own after that. I can't change them now! Although now that you mention it, the Element of Whining is kind of totally not awesome. Hmm, maybe I should change it to Bitchiness..."
Twilight boggled. "I don't see how that's any better."
Pinkie sprang up on her hind legs. "It's totally better! She could be all, 'Uh-huh, oh no you di-in't! Snap snap, fillyfriend!'" Snapping sounds emanated from her waving hoof. The intensity of Twilight's boggling grew.
"Pinkie, you shouldn't be able to snap with hooves..."
"Yet I totally just did! It'll be great, Twilight!" Her manic grin changed to a frown of concern. "But I can't make any other changes, or I'll disappoint my fans!"
Twilight threw up her hooves. "You can't just change the Elements! Err, I mean... You have fans?"
"Yeah!" Pinkie nodded six or seven times in quick succession, her head making a rattling noise. "Lots of ponies enjoy my fics! And I aims to keep 'em satisfied with my further installmentseses!"
Twilight's hoof smacked into her forehead and slid down her face. "Getting back to those 'further installments', that's another issue I have with this story world. It just keeps getting crazier and crazier! I mean, what about this scene in 'The Further Adventures of Wondercloud and Sugar Rush' where Sugar gives her virginity to Wondercloud on the back of a dragon mid-flight?"
Pinkie bit her lower lip and squealed. "Wasn't that awesome? That's one of my favorite scenes! I'm so glad you're getting into my stories, Twilight, this is super! I'll have to write a special one about Midnight Twinkle, just for you!" She began bouncing in place.
Twilight began to massage a spot just left of her horn. "Really, Pinkie, you don't have to..."
The bouncing stopped suddenly and Pinkie took on an expression of thoughtfulness. "Gee, Twilight, d'you really think our friends would be upset if they read my stories? You know I wouldn't want to make them mad."
Twilight let out a long breath. "I know, Pinkie. And I'm not really mad at you for making my textual doppelganger a bossy, uptight know-it-all, even if it was kind of irritating the first time I read about her." She tapped the monitor screen. "But I do think you shouldn't show these to them at all if you can help it. I mean, just look at what happened with those three ponies this morning!"
"Oh, yeah." Pinkie crossed her hooves over her chest. "What a bunch of grumpy-pusses! They're not getting a Welcome to Ponyville Party from this pink pony! That'll show 'em!" Like lightning, a thought struck her and she dove to the foot of Twilight's chair, wrapping her hooves around the unicorn's leg.
"Oh Twilight, you gotta help me! I don't want to take my fanfiction down from the Canternet! Just think of the hundreds of readers I'll let down! And I don't wanna get sued either! I mean, I don't know what a lawsuit is, really, but I hate wearing suits, they're so restrictive and... gray. Suits would be much nicer if they were green with polka dots. Hey, I should talk to Rarity about that..."
"It's not that kind of suit, trust me," Twilight muttered, trying unsuccessfully to extricate her leg from Pinkie's grasp.
"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight!" Pinkie broke out the starry eyes routine once more. "Don't let them take my stories away! Don't let our friends find out! I don't want anypony to get mad at me! Help me, Twilight Sparkle, you're my only hope!"
The unicorn let out a breath and stared straight ahead. "Fine," she said at length, "but only on one condition."
"Oh, anything Twilight!" Pinkie cried, rolling onto her back. "I'll dust your dishes, wash your books, I'll even be your slave for a whole month!"
"Heh heh..." Twilight's face twitched, and she continued to stare straight ahead. "Tempting as that might be, my request is simpler: let me be your editor!"
Pinkie's head twisted ninety degrees on its forward axis. "Editor?"
"Yes!" Twilight's hoof shot skyward. "Pinkie, the worst part of your stories isn't that they inspire hatred in total strangers and potentially in our friends as well. It's your crimes against grammar and logic that are the real tragedy here! You have no idea how hard it's been not writing on my monitor with a red pen while I read these!"
Pinkie lay still, staring up at Twilight. After half a minute, Twilight began to wonder if something wasn't wrong with her, when the pink pony suddenly sprang up onto her hooves and wrapped Twilight in a tight hug.
"Oh Twilight, thank you, thank you, thank you! Do whatever you want to my stories, just please promise me you'll try to keep our friends from reading them!"
Twilight patted Pinkie on the back. "Don't worry, Pinkie Pie. Your stories are in good hooves and your secret's safe with me."
At that moment, in the main orchard of Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash had landed downhill from the barn and was pacing a rut in the dirt.
"C'mon, Dash, you just hafta talk to her, it'll be easy..." She glanced back at Ponyville. "Then why do I want to fly back to town so bad?" Putting on a brave face, she stuck out her chest. "No! You're gonna walk up to that barn and talk to that mare... She's your friend... your..."
Her pacing ceased and she bit down on her lip. She nearly bit through it as she heard somepony excitedly calling her name.
"Rainbow Dash, oh my gosh, hi!"
She looked up to see a familiar trio of fillies running towards her, lead by the pegasus of the group.
"Hey, squirt. What's up?"
"Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash, I'm totally stoked that you're here!" Scootaloo twirled excitedly in place. "We were just about to go try jet skiing, but I bet you can totally give us some pointers on getting our cutie marks!"
Rainbow pulled a face. "Well, squirt, I'd love to, it's just..." Wait a sec, this is the perfect excuse not to talk to her!
And she's the perfect excuse not to hang out with the Trouble Trio.
Is that all you can think about? Excuses? Why don't you try doing something for once?
"Uhh, Rainbow Dash?"
Focus, RD! "Sorry, kid, can't right now. Apple Bloom, I need to talk to your sister. Is she around?"
The yellow filly nodded. "She's in the house. Oughta be comin' out soon."
"Cool. Thanks."
"Hey, uh, Rainbow Dash?" The little unicorn looked up at her with big, inquisitive eyes.
She's Rarity's sister, right? What's her name... Sweetie somethin'? "Yeah, kid?"
"Is it true you and Pinkie Pie are fillyfriends now?"
She hadn't expected that question and took a step back as the filly grinned irrepressibly up at her. "Uh, yeah. Why d'you ask?"
Sweetie clasped her hooves together and sighed wistfully, little hearts bobbing in her eyes. "You two were really good friends and then you fell in love! I just think it's soooo romantic! Love should always be based on friendship! That's what my sister told me!"
That's a laugh, coming from Rarity. "Well, it's fun, I guess."
"Eww!" Scootaloo stuck out her tongue. "I don't want any of my friends falling in love with me!"
"Look out, Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said, slinking forward with a sly grin on her face, "or Sweetie Belle might fall in love with you! She might even kiss you!"
"No kissing! Eww, gross, get away!" The pegasus filly took to the air as best she could, gaining but a hair's breadth of clearance from the grass, and made a buzzing beeline for the river.
Sweetie laughed and began pursuing her friend, while Apple Bloom kept up her taunts.
"Scootalooooo, where're you gooooiiiiing?"
"Kiss 'er right on the lips, Sweetie!"
"Kiss me and I'll slug you!"
Rainbow Dash shook her head as the three vanished out of earshot. "Man, how can something so annoying be so darned cute?"
"They sure are a hoofful, ain't they?"
Rainbow Dash spun, heart racing, as Applejack loped down the hill behind her, chuckling.
"Sorry there, Rainbow, didn't mean t' scare ya. Ain't like you t'be up and about so early on a weekend. What's up?"
Rainbow forced a laugh. "Yeah, well, I, uhh... Umm..."
Applejack tilted her head, eyebrows lifting.
Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck. "D'you, uh, maybe have any work around the farm I could help you with?"
Applejack's eyes narrowed. Dash gave her an extremely large, extremely fake grin.
"Well, sure," Applejack said slowly. "I mean, there's always work t'be done around the farm, and applebuck season's just about to start. C'mon, you can help me with the apples."
Rainbow Dash followed quietly as Applejack directed her to grab some bushel baskets and a cart, then led her out towards the south orchards, the back of the farm. Apart from Applejack showing her exactly what needed to be done -- place baskets around the base of a tree, shake the upper limbs until all the apples had fallen, pick up the apples that missed, then move the baskets that weren't full to another tree -- they worked without talking.
Applejack broke the silence with: "All right, sugarcube, I done let ya think it over long enough. What's on yer mind?"
Great. Rainbow put that cheesy, over-wide grin back on. "Hey, did you know that, uh, Pinkie's writing a story with all of us in it? Kinda? It's lots of fun!"
Applejack frowned. "No. But that don't sound like the kind o' thing you'd come all the way out here to tell me about, not while you're actin' all nervous-like."
"Well, AJ, as a matter of fact, I, uh…" Dash rubbed at the back of her neck. Applejack glared at her.
"Spill it."
Dash sighed. "Applejack, the truth is I… I can't stop thinking about you. I've got Pinkie, and we've got a great relationship and all, don't get me wrong, but sometimes? Sometimes my mind just goes back to that one day…"
Applejack held up a hoof. "Hold it right there, Rainbow Dash. You just said everything you need to. Your relationship with Pinkie is great and there's nothing you'd wanna do to mess that up. End of story." She turned her back on the pegasus. "Don't even know why you'd wanna come tellin' me all of this anyway."
"Applejack, listen to me!" Rainbow took a hesitant step forward. "I… I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I mean, what if I made a mistake? What if I'm leading Pinkie on?"
Applejack whirled on her, lashing out with her hind legs and knocking an entire tree's worth of apples to the ground. "Would you knock it off with that kinda talk? What you're gonna do is get your rainbow-striped butt back to that mare and do right by her. You two got somethin' special goin' on and I'll be hornswoggled before I let you mess it up for…" Her eyes dropped to the ground. "I ain't the one for ya, Rainbow. Pinkie is, and that's that. Now knock it off with this kinda talk, d'you hear me?"
Rainbow Dash stared at her friend for a good long moment. Her lips moved. And then she turned tail and streaked off back towards Ponyville.
Applejack sighed, shook her head, and went back to applebucking.
"Why, Twilight dear, whatever are you doing?"
"Aaaagh!" Twilight spun in her chair, while simultaneously attempting to use all four of her hooves to block the view to her monitor. "Rarity? Fluttershy?" Panic put an edge to her voice. "What a... pleasant surprise! Whatever are the two of you doing here?"
"Well, we were going to invite you to come to the spa with us, but..." Rarity tilted her head, trying to look at the screen. "It would appear that you're busy."
Twilight put on her widest grin. "Oh! Yes! That's me, busy, busy, busy! Heh, heh! So much time and so little to do!"
Rarity nodded. "Forgive me for snooping, but I'll ask again: just what are you so busy with today?"
Twilight's eyes flicked to the right, then to the left, and back to the right again. "Busy, did I say busy? I meant, uh... I'd love to go, yes, that's right! Because I'm a good friend and I like spending time with my friends! Let me just close out of my file here..." She tried and failed to grab the mouse and click the X in the upper right corner while facing away from the screen. It fumbled out of her hoof and Rarity caught it with her magic.
"Oh Twilight, now you've got my curiosity piqued. I just simply have to know what it is you're trying to keep a secret!" Blithely, she trotted over to Twilight's computer and insinuated herself between Twilight and the screen, peeling the other unicorn away from it like a fake eyelash past its usefulness.
Twilight gasped, horrified. There was nothing to be done: this was the end. Images of eternal torment at the hooves of a red-skinned Rarity with demon's horns and a long, spiked whip flashed through her head.
How dare you treat me in so a vile manner! You shall burn in the fires of Poor Grammar Heck forever!
Except, wait a second. This isn't my story, it's Pinkie's. She's the one who's going to--
"Goodness, Twilight," normal, not-red Rarity said after a moment, "I would have really thought that somepony as well-read as yourself could produce writing far better than this!"
"Ehh-heh..." Twilight nibbled on her hooves. Should she tell? It was likely that the secret would come to light at this point. Past experience had proven Twilight a poor keeper of them, after all. Images of an enraged Pinkie Pie covered in flaming sponges, a pitchfork in her hoof, nipped at the corners of her mind.
"Actually, Rarity, I'm just editing it." She swallowed. "Pinkie wrote it."
Rarity spun her chair about. "Pinkie? Oh dear, that is almost worse!" She turned back to the screen, frowning at it. "It seems that Pinkie is writing a pastiche of the six of us, and the majority of it is most unflattering, if I do say so. Listen to this: '"You should cheer up, Wondercloud," said Fashionface. She was a pretty unicorn with purple mane, and she tended to whine about things a lot. Her cutie mark was FASHION.'
"I mean really, purple mane, a unicorn with a cutie mark of 'fashion'? Beyond that making no sense whatsoever, she seems to be painting me as a... a whiny loser!"
"Am I in it, Rarity?" Fluttershy pressed forward, pushing Twilight completely away from the computer as she pushed her face up to the screen, creating a noseprint.
"Yes you are, dear. Here, your double is named... 'Whisperlite'. My goodness, and it seems most unflattering to you as well!"
Twilight's teeth ground together. "Say! How about that spa trip? I know I could sure use one right about now!"
"Oh my." Fluttershy's head lowered slowly between her withers. "I mean... I suppose it could be worse, but... Does Pinkie really think about us like that?"
Twilight waved her hooves. "Spa? Together? Anypony?"
Rarity harrumphed. "Well I, for one, am certainly going to give her a piece of my mind when next we meet! This is simply dreadful!"
Fluttershy nodded slightly. "I never would have thought that Pinkie Pie would have such a poor opinion of her friends!"
Pegasus and unicorn lifted into the air, each surrounded by a magenta glow, before being placed gently back onto their hooves a generous distance from the computer desk. Twilight took a moment to compose herself.
"Listen, you can't tell Pinkie about this. I was supposed to keep this a secret!"
Rarity raised an impeccably plucked eyebrow. "Well, you haven't done a terribly good job of it, Twilight."
"I would have if somepony hadn't butted in," Twilight replied through clenched teeth. "But think about it this way: Pinkie isn't the kind of pony who would make fun of her friends behind their backs. This is just a parody; it's meant to be funny!"
Rarity sniffed. "Well, it certainly isn't very funny when you're the one being parodied!"
Fluttershy nodded, eyes closed. "It certainly isn't."
"The version of me in there isn't all that flattering either." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Look, I know you're both upset right now, but why don't we go to the spa? It'll be the perfect way to relax before talking to Pinkie, so that nothing regretful is said. Yes? Please?" Her face was beginning to hurt due to the size and duration of her smile.
Fluttershy looked at Rarity. "That does sound like a good idea, Rarity. I wouldn't want to be mad at Pinkie..."
"You're right, of course." Rarity sighed and her eyes fell to the side for a moment before refocusing on Twilight with solid determination. "But we're not backing out of talking to her, do you hear me?"
"Loud and clear!" Twilight saluted, which did not elicit the tension-breaking laughter she had been hoping for. Deflating, she called out, "Spike! I'm going out for a while! Just hold the place down, please! Hopefully nothing else horrible will happen while I'm gone."
The tension did ease as they passed out the library door, and pleasant chatter began as Rarity told them both about an idea for a swimsuit. Not two minutes later, however, the door opened again, this time to allow a pony entrance rather than egress.
"Twilight, ya here? Twilight?"
"Just missed her, AJ!" Spike called from the other room.
"Aw, shucks."
Applejack made to leave until the soft glow of a computer screen caught her attention. She looked left, then right, then, finding nopony around to stop her, tromped up to the computer.
"Huh. I wonder what this is..."
Pinkie puttered about the kitchen, feeling distinctly less bubbly than she tended to while cooking. It might have been related to her first batch of cupcakes coming out rather flat, but she couldn't tell if that had happened because of her mood, or if its having happened had made her feel bad. It certainly hadn't helped any either way.
She had just decided to switch to muffins to get her mind off of the bad cupcakes when there was a knock at the door.
Pinkie dusted flour off herself and trotted to the door. It simply was not a bouncing sort of day. As she opened the door to the face of Rainbow Dash, all those saddy-waddy thoughts faded into the back of her mind, melting like icicles.
"Hey Pinkie," she said, her voice kind of strained. "How are you doing?"
"Well, I've kind of been worried about you since you just up and vanished this morning," she said, leading Rainbow in and feeling a little bounce return to her step. "And right after you left, these three weird ponies showed up and they were all, 'Raaar, we are going to sue your butt if you don't stop writing fanfic!' and I got all sad and you weren't around and I was sad, Dashie, but now you're back and I don't have any reason to be sad again and that's good, and I'm gonna make a cake now!"
She zipped into the kitchen, but was arrested halfway as Rainbow cleared her throat.
"Pinkie, maybe this isn't the best time, but we need to talk."
Pinkie levitated slowly back to the floor. "T-talk? What about, Dashie?" She laughed nervously.
"I..." Rainbow Dash sighed, stepped forward, and hugged Pinkie tightly. "Okay. Pinkie, what I'm about to say next, I just want you to remember that I love you and nothing's changed."
Pinkie felt like a balloon, the tip of a pin straining against the latex.
"Way back when we first started dating, Pinkie, I kind of..." Rainbow took a deep breath, he eyes traveling to the ceiling. "I liked you, but I liked Applejack too, and I wasn't really sure who I wanted to go with. Now, I'm happy being with you, like I said, but... I still have feelings for AJ. And I kind of don't know what to do about them."
Pinkie could only stare. Rainbow Dash noticed a speck on the floor and began digging at it with her hoof. There was a long silence before Rainbow spoke again.
"I wanted to tell you, because, um... Geez, I'm not good with this stuff..." She cleared her throat. "I need to figure this out. It's not fair to you if I feel this way. I just want to know that I can come to you for support if I need it. Is... that okay?"
Pinkie's smile was too genuine to be genuine. "Of course it's okay, Dashie! Why wouldn't it be okay?"
"You mean you're not mad or anything?" Rainbow's face lit up.
"Of course not, Dashie," Pinkie said, the edge of a giggle in her voice. "Why would I be mad?"
Rainbow rushed over and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, Pinkie. You're the best friend a mare could ever want."
She kissed Pinkie on the cheek and zipped out the door, calling, "I'll let you know when I figure all of this out, Pinkie! That's a promise!"
The icicles refroze. Pinkie's face twitched. She cantered to the door and was about to close it when Twilight came trotting up to it, a frantic look on her face.
"Pinkie, I don't have much time!" she gasped. "Rarity and Fluttershy found out about your story!"
Pinkie's jaw hit the ground. "They what? Twilight, you promised!"
"I tried, but I couldn't stop them!" Twilight's eyes rimmed with tears. "We're going to the spa so they can calm down, but they want to talk with you later. I have to get back before I'm missed!" She bit her upper lip. "I'm so, so sorry, Pinkie!"
Without another word, the unicorn dashed off. Pinkie could see Rarity and Fluttershy in the distance, waiting for her, and zipped behind the door, placing her back to it. She began pushing it closed, but it stopped as a black hoof stuck forward into the jamb.
"Ahh, Miss Party," said a nasal voice. "So glad you're still home. We just wanted to stop by and see how our little agreement was faring. The stories are still up, you know."
Pinkie looked up at Black Snooty, Queen Meanie and Hokey Smokes, who gazed impassively back at her, and three things happened.
She screamed.
Her mane went flat.
She slammed the door, and the icicles dropped.
"I'm going to need another trip to the spa when this is all over," Twilight murmured to herself. As she led Fluttershy, Rarity and Rainbow Dash back to her house. The news that Rainbow couldn't find Applejack anywhere had been slightly unnerving. As Fluttershy had pointed out, it was unusual for her to be away from the farm for anything length of time with applebuck season just warming up. With no ideas, Twilight felt the need to return to home base, as it were, to center her thoughts.
As it turned out, that was the best course of action they could have taken. When Twilight opened the door, it was to discover Applejack and Spike, tears of laughter streaming down their faces, seated in front of her computer.
"Oh, Applejack, not you too!" Twilight groaned, and her friends filed in around her.
"Applejack!" cried Rarity. "Are you reading Pinkie's story? I cannot believe you are actually enjoying that... dreck."
Applejack blew out a laugh and wiped her eyes. "Aw, c'mon, Rarity, this mess is funnier'n a cat at a dog kennel! Like this part where Johnniepear's walkin' away from an explosion without lookin' at it!"
"It's classic!" Spike declared, then proceeded into another fit of giggles, rolling on his back.
Twilight elbowed her way to the front of the group, grinding her teeth together and generally not looking overly pleased with the situation.
"Well, this is just great!" she fumed. "Now everypony knows about this story that I was supposed to be keeping secret for Pinkie! What's next? Will the Mayor come here too? Maybe it'll get into the newspaper: 'Pinkie's Stinky Stories: Twilight Sparkle Involved?'"
"Ohh," Rainbow Dash said, drawing everyone's attention. She laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. "Those stories were supposed to be a secret?"
"What did you do, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight stomped over to the pegasus, who took to the air to avoid her fury.
"I didn't do anything! I mean, I might have mentioned it to Applejack and that's why she's here." Rainbow held up her hooves. "But I swear, I didn't even know you were involved, Twilight!"
Twilight's eyes narrowed. "You realize that Pinkie's been acting strange recently, right? She's been under a lot of stress."
"I..." Rainbow's face fell. "Oh geez, you're right. She keeps wanting to talk, but I... I've been ignoring her. She said something about ponies who were angry with her, and then I told her about me and Applejack, I... Oh no, what have I done?"
Applejack whirled around in the desk chair. "You told her what?"
Rainbow's head hung lower. "That I was still trying to figure out if I had feelings for you."
Rainbow zipped down, imposing herself in Twilight's face. "Twilight! You and Applejack have to help me talk to her! She's gotta be going crazy by now! This is all my fault, and I have to make it right!"
Rarity shook her head, trying to clear it. "All this drama is giving me a migraine!"
"Why don't you bring Pinkie back so we can all sit down and discuss this?" Fluttershy suggested. "We'll wait here since Rarity isn't feeling well."
"All right then." Twilight nodded firmly. "Rainbow Dash, Applejack, you're with me! The rest of you, wait here. We'll go find Pinkie and then sort everything out!"
The door to Sugarcube Corner squeaked open, echoing in the foreboding darkness. Twilight, her horn alight, suppressed an involuntary shiver.
"Pinkie? Pinkie, are you here?"
"Why's it so dark?" Rainbow asked, craning her head over Twilight's to try and see inside the building. "And cold?"
"Oh, dearie me," cried the voice of Mrs. Cake, "in all the confusion, I musta forgot to put out the Closed sign. We're havin' a power failure, don'tcha know!" She appeared from the kitchen. The flickering of a candle could be seen against the doorway, throwing the mare's shadow dancing upon the opposite wall like a wild demon.
"If you're here lookin' for Pinkie, she's up in her room." She smiled apologetically and whispered, "Could probably stand to have some company right now, poor dear."
She watched as Twilight, Rainbow and Applejack made their way upstairs, nodding thanks.
"Do ya think," Applejack said, hesitating, "it's like that one time? Her birthday party?"
"I hope not," Rainbow said, swallowing.
They started up the stairs, Twilight 's horn their only source of constant light. It seemed feeble against the encroaching darkness, and Rainbow and Applejack stuck close by her. Ascending the stairs, she stopped every time one creaked underhoof. It only made her companions edgier.
The curtains at the end of the upstairs hallway were drawn, filtering the outside light into a pink haze cast at unreal angles over walls through which they heard the muffled screech of Pinkie's voice. Twilight hesitated for a moment, looking back at her friends. Applejack seemed confused by the stutter in her walk; Rainbow looked anxious.
"Would ya hurry it up, Twilight?" she whispered.
"Let's go, girls," Twilight said, to herself as much as to them, her voice involuntarily echoing Rainbow's whisper.
Floorboards creaked beneath their hooves as Twilight led them tiptoeing down the hallway. The walls closed in, funnelling them inexorably towards the lone doorway standing at the far end of the hall. The window beyond it gaped like a mouth. A bead of sweat trickled down Twilight's horn and into her eye, causing her to blink and shake her head.
"It's only Pinkie," she mumbled to herself.
"What'd ya say, sugarcube?" Applejack's voice, at outdoor levels, startled Twilight, and with a shriek, she backed up into both Applejack and Rainbow Dash, ramming them against the wall. From within the room they had just hit, the sound of crying started up.
Twilight panicked and wheeled, crashing into the opposite wall and knocking a picture frame down onto her head. Her vision swam as Applejack and Rainbow Dash, the latter upside-down, fought to untangle themselves from one another.
"Oh dear," said Mrs. Cake from below, "I guess naptime's over. Hold on, sweeties, mama's coming!" She tromped up the steps and gave the three of them a worried look as she passed.
"Are you girls all right?"
Twilight shook her head to clear her vision and grinned lopsidedly. "Of course we're all right! Aren't we all right, girls?"
Applejack and Rainbow groaned and nodded.
"Why wouldn't we be all right?" Twilight's grin grew in size and insincerity.
"Well, er, all right then..." Mrs. Cake turned and pushed her way into the twins' room, closing the door behind her.
From the opposite door, a muffled voice came. "Sounds like somepony's hungry..."
Twilight's blood ran cold. That wasn't Pinkie, it was... The other Pinkie. She swallowed.
"Um, Rainbow Dash! Maybe you should knock on the door to her room, yes?"
Rainbow, finally having righted herself, frowned. "You're supposed to be breaking the ice here, Twilight."
Twilight giggled, an edge of strain in her voice, and her eyes flicked over. "Applejack?"
"Source of the troubles," she replied with a shrug.
"C'mon, Twilight, lighten up," Rainbow said, and planted the top of her head firmly in Twilight's rump, pushing. "Just go tell her I want to talk."
Hooves scraping along the wooden floor, Twilight suddenly found a hundred reasons why she would rather be anywhere else. She squeezed her eyes shut.
"Um, but, uh, my laundry's in the oven! I left the bookshelves on! I've got a doctor's appointment with the dentist! I'm allergic to death?"
Her eyes opened once Rainbow had stopped pushing, to the view of a sign reading "PINKiEZ ROOM!!" She swallowed against the lurching of her stomach, raised a hoof, and knocked.
She waited two seconds, then, her voice stuttered by nervous laughter, loudly said, "Well, nopony's in! Maybe she's asleep and we should just--"
"Coooome iii-iiin..."
The creepy voice was accompanied by a long, loud screech as the door swung ever so slowly open. Inside, Pinkie's room was much as they had seen it before, albeit unlit. The shadows cast strange edges to everything, making the familiar unfamiliar and intimidating. Pinkie herself was nowhere to be seen.
"P-Pinkie?" Twilight called, her voice nearly failing her. "You're in here... right?"
They crept into the room, pausing every time a loose floor board sounded under their weight. They cast their eyes left, right and up, yet were still taken by surprise when the lights suddenly flicked on and Pinkie jumped out.
Her mane was flat and she was dressed in a frilly outfit. Perhaps "ruffled" would have been the better word. It sported, among other things: a tricorner hat with a long plume, brass epaulettes, gold piping, a hook, a peg leg and an eyepatch. Pinkie pointed the hook at them menacingly, growling, "Where have you been?"
All the fear that had been building in Twilight suddenly deflated. She released a long breath and cast a glance back at her two friends, who were clinging to one another, shaking in fright.
"It's us, Pinkie. You remember who we are, right?" Trepidation colored her tone, as Twilight wondered whether Pinkie might not remember after all.
"Of course I know who you are!" Pinkie said with a large smile. "You're my best friends!"
They visibly relaxed. Pinkie pointed the hook at each of them in turn, saying,
"Lady Midnight Twinkle, my maiden in waiting...
"Sir Johnniepear the Stalwart, one of my best warriors...
"And Captain Wondercloud of the First Sugar Rush Battalion! Attention, soldier!" she cried authoritatively. "Where have you been all this time? Don't you know we have ninja problems?"
"Uh..." said Rainbow.
"She must think she's in her stories," Twilight murmured, "play along." Aloud, she said, "Soooo, Sugar Rush..."
"That's Pirate Queen Sugar Rush to you, Lady Twinkle!"
Twilight grimaced. "Pirate Queen Sugar Rush. We came to talk. 'Captain Wondercloud' here has something very important that she'd like to say to you."
Pinkie put her hooves on her hips. "Well, I should hope so! I need that report on ninja activity in my kingdom, pronto!"
Rainbow Dash sighed and floated forward. "Pinkie... Sugar, whatever you want to call yourself, the only thing I have to report is... I'm sorry."
Pinkie cocked her head. "Huh? That doesn't sound like a report."
"It's not!" Rainbow made an exasperated noise and rubbed her forehead. "Pinkie, I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but please, listen to me.
"I'm not good at this whole... emotions, love, relationship thing. I'm still trying to figure everything out, but I've been so selfishly focused on myself I didn't even notice you were having problems of your own." She closed her eyes and sighed. "And now I see just what that's done to you. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm not being a very good marefriend. I'm sorry."
Pinkie seemed to consider Rainbow's words. Twilight and Applejack crept closer, hopeful. The pink pony sniffed and wiped a hoof across her eyes, smearing tears over her cheek. She gave Rainbow a sad smile and moved forward, hugging her, the hook falling off her hoof and onto the floor with a little clunk.
"Sorry if I went a little nutty-nuts, Dashie," she said softly. "With everything crazy that's been going on lately, it was just more than I could take."
"Don't apologize," Rainbow Dash replied, kissing Pinkie on the forehead. "I'm the one at fault here."
Just then, the sound of the downstairs door opening was heard. After a moment, Mr. Cake called up to them, "Pinkie! There are three strange ponies here, saying they want to sue you!"
Pinkie's face turned desperate.
"Uh, except for that," Rainbow said quickly. "That I had nothing to do with, I swear."
Twilight nodded. "I think it's time we rounded everypony up for an explanation."
The six friends had assembled at Twilight's with Queen Meanie, Black Snooty and Hokey Smokes in attendance. The latter three were at the end of their collective rope, but had agreed to join in the intended discussion. Despite Pinkie's earlier distress, she had nevertheless cleaned herself up and somehow produced a large assortment of drinks and cookies for those present. She stood upon the coffee table in the center of the room and made her address, at Pinkie Pie speed.
"So, what happened was a couple days ago Twilight found my fanfics and said she was going to edit them, and I asked her to keep them a secret but she's not very good at keeping secrets, so you all found out about them, and at the same time these three came to sue me because their names just happened to show up in the stories even though I've never heard of any of them before and just made those names up off the top of my head, and Rainbow Dash took off right when I needed her because she still has feelings for Applejack, but she apologized and I forgave her, and now here we all are!"
The ponies looked at one another, nodding while Pinkie caught her breath.
"Pinkie," Rarity began, "Fluttershy and I wanted to tell you how hurt we felt after we saw how we were portrayed in your story."
"I understand, Rarity," Pinkie said, "and I'm sorry if you both got the wrong idea. I never wanted to make you feel bad, and if you want, I can change things so they're more favorable for you." She took a deep breath. "Some things are more important than catering to my fans, after all."
"It's all right," Fluttershy said, smiling. "We were pretty upset when we found out about it at first, but in hindsight, they're just silly stories you're writing to entertain ponies we'll never meet."
"Mostly never meet, you mean," Queen Meanie interrupted. She stood and pointed an accusing hoof at Pinkie. "You still have yet to answer our grievances, Miss Party, or Pie, or whatever your name is!"
The pink pony frowned. "You just don't understand, do you? My life is weird sometimes, and my head is kind of a weird place to be, so when things happen that don't make sense, I write these stories to help get myself through those weirdy-weirdo times. Bad things, good things, or just the silly happenstances that occur day to day here in Ponyville." She held out her hooves imploringly. "I need these stories! I could take your names out, sure, it's just six words. But the point is, I shouldn't have to, because it was all a silly coincidence and has no reflection on you three whatsoever!"
Pinkie snapped her hoof, and suddenly the lights dimmed. A red glow suffused the room, accompanied by a disco ball whirling slowly from the ceiling. Gentle, romantic music piped in from places unknown, along with the scent of roses.
"Which is why I have a much better idea than getting sued!" she cried, hopping off the table. "Orgy!"
A chorus of "What?" sounded in response.
"Sure!" Pinkie snapped again, and a pair of shades appeared on her nose. "It's easy! First, Rainbow Dash and Applejack obviously need to work out their unresolved sexual tensions, so they should do it already and get it out of their systems!"
A bed appeared beneath Rainbow and Applejack, knocking them onto their sides so they could cuddle easily, which they did.
"As for you three," Pinkie continued, pointing to the lawsuit ponies, "I think you'll appreciate us all a lot more once you get to know us better! So Queen Meanie, since you look like a pony into bondage, you should top Rarity!"
Rarity appeared, trussed up in restraints and a ball gag, ready to receive the lashings of her Mistress Meanie, who was dressed in leather and other dominatrix stuff.
"Black Snooty is, if I don't miss my guess, extremely uptight and full of pent-up sexual energy. So he'll work perfectly as Fluttershy's slave!"
Black Snooty was restrained spread-eagled to a table while Fluttershy stood over him, covered in fishnets and masks and other dominatrix things. Because dominatrices are sexy.
"Um," she said softly, "if that's okay with you." Black Snooty nodded vigorously.
"Wait," Twilight said, "I don't want to lose my virginity to a stranger! Or engage in bondage play!"
"That's why you're gonna be in a threesome with me and Hokey Smokes, Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, grinning. "I had a feeling you were a virgin, and so I figured, what better way to lose your cherry than with your old Auntie Pinkie showing you the ropes? Plus I'm sure Hokey Smokes wouldn't mind having two mares at once, isn't that right?"
Hokey Smokes grinned, shaking his head.
"Then it's settled! Whee!"
And they all bucked.
The end!
Every mouth in the room hung open. Pinkie stood, a satisfied smile on her face, papers in hoof.
"Well?" she asked, arms outstretched for praise that never came. "What do you think?"
It was quite a long silence before Rarity broke it with a modest, "Uhhh..."
"Ummm," Fluttershy agreed.
"Twilight helped edit it, so the writing is super-duper better than it was at first!" Pinkie exclaimed with a grin.
Every eye in the room turned toward Twilight, whose face turned a very deep shade of crimson.
"I-I-I swear, that last scene wasn't in there when I saw it!" she cried, covering her face. "Didn't you notice how bad the writing got toward the end? She added it in herself after I looked at it! I'm innocent!"
"We ain't havin' sex, Rainbow," Applejack said flatly.
Rainbow nodded in quick agreement. "I'd totally be willing to help you find a--"
"Nope." Applejack cut her off. "Just fine, thanks."
"I found it thoroughly disgusting," said the pony they knew as Black Snooty. "And you have finally knowingly used our persons in a demeaning and, if I may add, completely degrading manner."
"Don't worry, Black Snooty," Pinkie said, "this one's not going up on the 'net ever. It's just an explanation of what's been going on over the past few days. Like I said, I need these stories to work through weird stuff like that!"
Hokey Smokes shook his head. "Lady, if you're that set on writing your ridiculous stories, maybe we oughta just let you write 'em."
"I don't think they're doing any harm," admitted Queen Meanie. "It's obvious nopony besides you and your friends will ever read them." She swallowed, eyes turning towards the floor. "And, uh, well..." With a sigh, her horn lit up and her eminently-coiffed lavender hairdo lifted up, revealing a short, flat black mane beneath. "Queen Meanie's not really my name, it's Crown Jewel. That's just what they call me at the club."
Jaws dropped once more.
"You're a... an exotic dancer?" Rarity exclaimed.
Queen Meanie sneered. "Hey, lady, I ain't judgin' you!"
Black Snooty sighed. "I would continue to protest, but I likewise have been engaged in a deception. My name is actually Meerschaum. I am a tobacconist. Black Snooty is actually a degrading moniker I earned in boarding school." He closed his eyes, black cheeks reddening. "I have dishonored myself in the hope of winning ill-earned money. I am so very ashamed."
Hokey Smokes hmphed. "Well, my name really is Hokey Smokes, and the only deception I engage in is illusions, 'cause I'm a street magician up Canterlot way. And it's tough enough work for an earth pony when ya got blusterin' blue unicorns muckin' up every single..." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, it's obvious you wasn't tryin' to drag our names through the mud, and just a weird coincidence."
"Shall we drop the suit?" asked Meerschaum, head lowered in defeat. The other two nodded, and rose.
"Sorry for makin' you get all crazy," Crown Jewel said to Pinkie, having replaced her wig. "You won't be seeing us again, promise."
Meerschaum bowed. "Many apologies, Miss Pinkie."
Hokey Smokes nodded. "I'm sorry too. Consider it settled."
The three ponies nodded to each other, then to Pinkie and her friends, and left the library, parting ways once they were outside.
Once they had left, an uneasy silence settled over the six friends. One of them coughed, startling the rest, and they shared a nervous chuckle.
"The one thing I do not understand," Rarity began, "is why you decided to have us all..." She waved a hoof in the air. "Doing that at the end. And in such unseemly ways, too!"
Pinkie grinned. "What can I say, Rarity? Sex sells!"
For the three of you who were waiting for the next Elements of Awesomery story, I present this fic. This fic. Oh my lord, this fic took me a good year to write, plugging away word by word sometimes, when I could evn stand to look at it at all. And yet somehow, when I got to the end, I realized it wasn't as bad as I'd originally thought, and now here we are. Thank you for reading this far.
I wrote this story for three reasons. First, because I care about the EoA framing story, even if no one else does. Second, because it allowed me to utilize the "Pinkie's names for Nightmare Moon are real ponies" joke in a way that made sense. I actually shoehorned them into The Elements of Awesomery just so I could write this story. Thirdly, because that second scene teases a bunch of stuff to come and will give you all something to look forward to, should you be following the series.
And there is so much to look forward to. As I write this, the first actual EoA sequel, "The Adventures of Wondercloud and Sugar Rush" has been written and is just waiting for me to post this before going up. (I wanted to post them together for those who don't care as much about these side stories.) I have planned seven more sequels. There is a possibility for more.
So yes. There's lots to look forward to, these don't take me long to do, and I have plans to finish this series as soon as possible. The best laid plans, though. The best laid plans.
Thanks to kits pony for giving me feedback on this one. Hope that ending has enough oomph for ya!
-Present Perfect
Pinkie looked up at Black Snooty, Queen Meanie and Hokey Smokes, who gazed impassively back at her, and three things happened.
She screamed.
Her mane went flat.
She slammed the door, and the icicles dropped.
That's like, four things.
I remember reading the first of these two. I remember feeling so terminally sad for AJ, and I still do. Unrequited love is pretty much The Worst Thing for me, and while this certainly is more complex - deliciously so - it leaves me feeling so very, very uneasy.
That said, these're a fun read! I'm going to (finally) go read the second part of the main story now. I really do like the framework for this story, and I have ever since I read the first part of the main story; the way it's written, with no more than a scant few pages' worth of "real" story giving so much meaning to the main part? I love it. I just don't know if my heart can take much more of the sidestories' threads.
Now, far as general stuff goes, I must admit I felt the last bits of Trouble Comes in Threes felt a little too clear cut. I had to pause when things were coming to a head because the buildup to the climax was so damn well done, it was hard for me to even cope. Perhaps the fault is mine there, in that I paused for a few minutes there building artificial anticipation, but when it was all solved in such an efficient manner, it felt a little too simple.
Except, well, it isn't. The AppleDash angle really isn't solved. You could easily have called attention to that in a bigger fashion, but on some perverse level, I'm glad you didn't, because.. well. Heartache. :|
"Aaaagh!" Twilight spun in her chair, while simultaneously attempting to use all four of her hooves to block the view to her monitor.
This is why we have alt-tab.
Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I definitely care about the whole back story/framing device, and I'm looking forward to more!
Also, the situation with AJ got to exactly the point I was afraid it would; I really her to hook up with Rainbow, but Dash and Pinkie's relationship has gotten to the point where I'd hate to see it end... I don't suppose there's any chance of this ending on polyamory, is there?
I don't think I could write polyamory to save my life.
Also, I don't have any plans to continue this series at all. I've thought about it, but I really don't know where it would go. You'll have to suffice with the ending scenes from the main EoA stories, I'm afraid, not that those are terribly deep.
Yeah, I hadn't noticed it was marked as "Complete" back when I posted that. Oh well, it's not like I don't have enough fanfics to read.


text:
Rubbish in waterways is a big threat to Platypus and other wildlife. Last week, the Australian Wildlife Health Centre at Healesville Sanctuary treated a Platypus who had been brought in by wildlife carers after she had been found crossing a main road.
Donna the Platypus was found on Donna Buang Road, East Warburton and was picked up by a local family who called wildlife carer, Porscha Juwa from Tindara Wildlife Shelter. Finding a Platypus on a road was unusual, so Porscha brought her straight to the Sanctuary to be checked out by the expert veterinary team.
Veterinarian Dr Franciscus Scheelings, a vet nurse and former Platypus keeper Ian Elton together discovered Donna had a hair tie around her body and entangled fishing line wrapped around her neck. Despite these alarming finds, Donna was a very healthy Platypus, weighing in at 828g. She was untangled and microchipped for Melbourne Water to keep track of her before being released into the Yarra River late Thursday night.
"Although this story has a happy ending, pollution in our waterways can cause grave harm to our wildlife," Mr Glen Holland, Healesville Sanctuary's Director said. "When rubber bands, hair ties, loom bands and other plastics get washed into our waterways, thousands of animals suffer from entanglement and ingestment, with only a small proportion of injured animals ever found. Please remember to put your rubbish securely in the bin to help save our species."
Donna the Platypus is just one of the 1,500 animals brought to the Wildlife Centre each year. Many are victims of human activity, impacted by road trauma and habitat loss. Others are found dehydrated and exhausted from extreme weather conditions. Some, like Donna, are suffering the effects from being entangled or have ingested plastics and other rubbish.
Experts are concerned Platypus populations are declining through habitat destruction, and from litter and detergent phosphates making their way into rivers. You can help us fight extinction by donating to the Australian Wildlife Health Centre or by Adopting an Animal.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Gusts reaching up to 60 mph whipped through the Inland Empire on Tuesday, but weather forecasters say the winds may slow a bit today.
National Weather Service forecaster Robert Balfour said Tuesdayevening that he changed the high-wind warning the agency issued toa lower-grade wind advisory through 2 p.m. today.
That advisory is mainly geared at Beaumont and other mountain and pass areas in Riverside County more than for the Southwest County area, he said. But Hemet may still be in line for some of the higher winds.
"We still have high pressure to the east in Utah and Colorado, and that is driving the wind in the passes," Balfour said.
On Tuesday, the winds on the Santa Rosa Plateau were about 17 mph, with gusts as high as about 40 mph, Balfour said. A Camp Pendleton site near De Luz saw gusts of 37 mph, and El Cariso peak above Lake Elsinore had gusts of 35 mph.
Balfour said the high winds and low humidity led him to extend warnings of fire danger, called red flag warnings, in both Riverside and San Diego counties until 2 p.m. today.
"We started off dry and just get drier," he said.
As for those gusts in Southwest County this week, they're not unusual this time of year, said Murrieta resident Ted MacKechnie, a National Weather Service lead forecaster. It's all part of the Santa Ana wind conditions, which blow from the deserts to the ocean.
MacKechnie said the weather service typically issues high-wind advisories for the area about 10 or 15 times during the fall and winter months.
Contact staff writer Teri Figueroa at (909) 676-4315, Ext. 2623,or email@example.com.


text:
William Daniels, Screen Actors Guild national president, in this week's Back Stage exclusive interview, says that the unions will go back to the bargaining table in mid-September with "new proposals."
It's a good move. For the stalled contract talks to advance, negotiators must show flexibility; and the unions' willingness to take the lead in that area can only aid the bargaining process.
We're concerned, however, that such flexibility doesn't appear to exist on the industry side. The Association of National Advertisers, on its website last week, concluded its strike update with the following paragraph:
The way to end the strike is for the union to return to the table in September, join with the industry in modernizing the 1950s-based contract to reflect the realities of the television industry in the year 2000. There is no industry in the world that can survive in the year 2000 on a contract designed to reflect industry practices of the 1950s. We will continue to send this message to the unions.
The industry seems to be saying it will return to the talks, but stick to its guns. Such rigidity could quickly end the talks. We encourage the advertisers to take a close look at the unions' new proposals, and consider a more realistic and understanding approach of their own.


text:
Friday, September 21, 2007
Birthday post!
1. During the sixth and seventh grade, I would bake cakes/cupcakes (not chocolate) and would put tuna sandwich spread (canned tuna chunks, mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish, and chopped onions) on as "icing." I swear they tasted good! Ok, ok, I admit I was the only one who ever ate those things, but that's because I thought they tasted good! I would crave for them.
2. I'm sorry, but I don't like cats. I am a dog person. I love, love, love dogs!!!
3. I do not own a dog right now because I live in a place not big enough for the kind of dog I want: a golden retriever I want to name Sam (whether or not it is a boy or girl).
4. I looove coffee. I take my coffee strong (the stronger, the better), black, and with a little brown sugar. I do not drink instant coffee because I do not think instant coffee is real coffee. I admit to sometimes being a coffee snob: I sometimes roll my eyes at people who drink instant coffee. I sometimes think that people who put cream in their coffee "don't know how to drink coffee." But putting milk in coffee is ok. :P
5. I graduated cum laude from the University of the Philippines Diliman with a bachelor of arts degree in English studies (major: language).
6. I used to teach academic writing in De La Salle University - Taft.
7. I used to teach academic writing and literature in Ateneo de Manila University.
8. I once drank eight shots of espresso in a row. The baristas in Starbucks started worrying about me. They were asking if I was experiencing any heart palpitations from all the caffeine. I put all their concerns to rest when I promptly fell asleep at my table.
9. I used to teach English as a foreign language in the Ateneo Language Learning Center.
10. I don't like bananas. Bananas do not taste good. They are too soft for something so sweet, and too sweet for something so soft. Ew.
11. I do not like my nose. It is not a pretty nose. If I could change one thing about my body, it would be my nose. Some people are probably wondering at this point: Don't you want to lose weight? Yes. But I would like a prettier nose first!
12. But no, I will never have cosmetic surgery. I'm too scared of going under the knife, side effects, accidents, looking fake, etc. The nose thing is just if I could be granted a wish or something. :D
13. I am a very loving and caring person. But not very forgiving. :( I know, I know, that's bad for the offender AND offendee. :( I hold grudges. *sigh*
14. I am a very sweet and affectionate person. I love/am always hugging and kissing the people I care about.
15. As a little girl I played with fire with my younger brother JP. (Don't all kids do this?)
16. When I was younger I made at least two prank calls to 911.
17. I wear contact lenses during the day, and glasses at night. I wear my glasses during the day only if I stay at home the whole day.
18. I do not own a TV. The computer at home does not work properly and we do not have Internet access at home. These facts help explain how I have so much time for reading. :D
19. I have a crush on someone really nice, funny, sweet, tall, and cute. No, I will not give his name because he might read this. Anyway, the more I get to know him, the more I like him. :D
20. I love biology and environmental science. I hate chemistry and physics. I hate math, but I like geometry.
21. English and history have ALWAYS been my favorite school subjects.
22. I was the seventh grade representative to the student council in Becker Middle School. I wasn't elected though. Hahaha. No one ran for that post but they needed a seventh grade representative, so all the seventh grade teachers chose/appointed me.
23. I was the news editor for my high school newspaper (it was more like a news magazine).
24. I have a tender heart. I cry easily - tears of sadness, tears of joy, all kinds of tears.
25. My current favorite songs are Alicia Keys' "No One" and +NobodyKnows' "Heroes Come Back" (the opening song for Naruto Shippuden - my favorite anime series).
26. I have always been an honor student. I plan to get a PhD (maybe two) and even do formal post PhD studies. I love studying because I love learning. To not excel in academics is a horrible, horrible thought to me. :(
27. My stomach is a regular black hole.
28. If you think I turned 27 or 28 today because of the length of this list, you are wrong. :P
5 comments:
- Cyam said...
Woo-hoo... Happy Birthday to my bestfriend, the sister of my heart. =)
Hope you have a good one, Tarie. May God shower upon you and your family even more blessings, material and spiritual. =)
- Kerrie said...
Happy Birthday Tarie!
I laughed out loud at the espresso one - I looove the stuff, those shots are way too small for those of us who can hold our coffee. ;-)
- Natalie said...
I came to wish you a happy birthday! Now I am going to read your post... I am happy to see you posted about this very important day!
BTW we celebrate our birthdays for 1 week, just to be sure we maximize our fun quotient ;-)
((((Birthday Hugs))))) and love!
- Tin (ni Johann) said...
Happy Birthday, dearie!
I ate a bar of chocolate in your honor. ^_^
- Tarie said...
CY - *kisses and tight hugs* Thank you, sister of my heart. Hey, I have stuff to tell you!
Kerrie - Thank you so much for the birthday greeting! :D You love espresso, too? Weeeeee! :o)
Natalie - Thank you! *hug* My birthday celebration lasted two and a half days. *giggle*
Tin - Thank you! I wish I had eaten that bar of chocolate. :P I miss you!


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Therefor, why not make a couple of kit skins? For Bomb and Grenade Kits it could be just some good looking backpack, Toolkit could have some fancier looking wrench, Elixir Gun would obviously re-skin the gun as well and the same goes for Flamethrower. It also doesn't need to be a lot of skins, just something distinct, say 2-3 skins per kit, some could possibly work for multiple kits (such as Bomb and Grenade).
As for how to apply them, I don't think it would be so much of a problem to create an additional Equipment slot, POSSIBLY even make it a skin for the Back item (or an actual stand-alone back item) for engineers only.
I've always wanted to be able to equip a Flamethrower like this:


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Use the tools below to refine your search by only displaying reviews with a certain number of star ratings or to only show reviews from a certain time period. Eg click on '1 star' to just display the reviews we have which received a 1 star rating click or 'Within the last month' to display just reviews posted over the last month.
Written on: 01/01/2008 by jolyn (1 review written)
we have been to kenya 12 tines and have booked for 2008. we stayed at two other hotels before we went to bamburi, from the first time we have never had to complain. when we arrive and are taken to our room as the staff see us they all come up and say welcome home[and it is like comming home] so people complain about anything but for us our sun beds are there in the morning, yes the rooms are basic but you don't live in them you only sleep there but they are very clean we cant fault the… Read Full ReviewClick here to view holiday offers on Expedia
Written on: 12/01/2007 by fireball2 (2 reviews written)
Advertised by First Choice as a perfect, all inclusive 4 star beach holiday hotel.
The reality of it was a filthy stinking hole, with an unusable public beach, overrun with beach traders of every description; tourist junk, wannabe Safari guides etc. All standing on the beach in front of the hotel shouting for your attention all day long and harassing you to death the second you step onto the sand.
The pictures in the brochure were five years out of date by the staffs own admission.
No all… Read Full Review
" AMAZING!! " Read More
Written by rachelpk
" Red Elephant Lodge, Kenya " Read More
From A.Gomaz
Stayed only for one night last December, 2010.
This i... " Read More
" We stayed for two weeks during the middle of September at the Neptu... " Read More
Myself and my wife Daisy recently honeymooned in Mombasa, Kenya.We... " Read More
Written by davecox


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Hello there I want to know if there is a way to enable quickboot on cm 11 m7 thanks in advance.
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In m7 there isn't any option. I don't if there is in latest nightlies.
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IN the March chill, the lids on the wooden crates open to reveal shattered treasures.
In one crate are the remains of a sculpture of King Kanishka, the second-century ruler of the Kushan empire, which had its dynastic palace 145 miles north of Kabul.
Carved from limestone, the king wore typical central Asian clothing -- a long belted coat and gathered trousers, a robe decorated with pearls, massive riding boots. Today he lies, cushioned by cotton, in large pieces, evidence of how a life cycle begun by chisel was ended by hammer.
In the next crate are the fragments of what is thought to be a Kushan prince, clothed for eternity in a long, fur-trimmed coat. In another sits the body of a bodhisattva, an enlightened spirit in Buddhism, from the ancient monastery of Tepe Maranjan near this city. Its head and feet are in another crate; random bits sit in yet another.
The National Museum of Afghanistan once held a collection that spanned 50 millenniums and was, in the words of a 1974 guide to its contents, ''One of the greatest testimonies of antiquity that the world has inherited.'' It held prehistoric, classical, Buddhist, Hindu and Islamic objects, many unearthed over decades of painstaking archaeological work.
But more than two decades of war and theft have left its collection literally in pieces and its building in tatters. The Taliban, with their antipathy to the depiction of the human form and alien cultures and religions, delivered the final blows, smashing hundreds of statues.Continue reading the main story
Today, in an international collaboration, the reconstruction of the building and the collection is slowly under way.
Restoring the structure may be easier. The museum is a two-story former municipal building in the suburb of Darulaman, south of Kabul. Founded in 1919, it was moved to its present site in the 30's.
The museum survived most of the war. But as mujahedeen commanders fought one another for control of the city in the early 90's, it became one of many casualties. In 1993, a rocket landed on it, delivering the coup de grâce.
Blue sky is now all the second floor has on display. The roof is gone, and so are all of the contents. Only a layer of dried mud on the floor protects the works below.
It took nearly a year after the Taliban's departure for repair work to start, but it finally did this winter. Alarmed that restoration was beginning in frigid rooms with no water or electricity, Unesco helped out. It winterized the building, restoring windowpanes, providing access to a deepwater pump and installing a 30-kilowatt generator.
''Since no one had started, we started, and then everyone jumped in,'' said Jim Williams, a Unesco representative in Kabul. The estimated cost to restore the museum is $2.5 million, he said, although it will most likely entail more money.
Unesco's work paved the way for others. The British government, with the guidance of the British Museum and the labor of the British International Security and Assistance Force, paid for the construction of two rooms to be used as a restoration laboratory for the damaged works. The Greek government financed the renovation of six storage depots on the ground floor. The United States Embassy in Kabul has pledged $100,000 for reconstruction.
To some extent, however, the repair is a project marked by ambivalence. Some argued -- including, at one point, the museum's director, Omara Khan Masoudi -- that it would have been better to relocate the museum more centrally. The current location is isolated, which makes it hard for staff members to get to but easy for looters to plunder. It remains a possible front line in any renewed fighting.
In 1995 and 1996, much of what remained of the collection had been moved for safekeeping to the Ministry of Information and Culture in central Kabul, although the Taliban found the objects and destroyed many of them. But now the ministry urgently needs the space, and has asked the museum to take back its collection, or what is left of it. So, in March one wooden crate after another came through the museum doors.
There were far fewer than there used to be. Even before the Taliban arrived, an estimated 70 percent of the collection had been lost or stolen and put up for sale on the world market. With the Taliban's arrival, more sculptures and statues, particularly Buddhist and Gandharan, were destroyed.
''This is very sad for all of our people, for everybody,'' Mr. Masoudi said, looking at the fragments.
Still, the museum is committed to repairing what it can. Some objects, from stone or wood, may be 60 to 70 percent repairable. Others, made of mud or plaster, are impossible to rebuild.
With the help of two experts from the Italian Institute for the Middle and Far East, in Rome, museum staff members restored more than 100 items from Tepe Sardar monastery near Ghazni in just over a month last year, Mr. Masoudi said.
He showed off a meditation Buddha. The cracks are evident, but perhaps they, too, will become part of the history the museum is preserving.
A few objects remain intact, however, testifying to the riches that once filled the galleries here. In the lobby is a marble basin, dating to about the 15th century, with two Islamic inscriptions. There is also a ninth-century stone lingam, the symbol of the Hindu god Shiva.
But in the space where King Kanishka's statue stood there is only a photograph of it -- a place holder until the rightful one returns.Continue reading the main story


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Design a Logo
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Brazil's government is readying an export promotion program that includes tax exemptions and credits and the creation of a state-run trade bank, amid a dramatic decline in the nation's trade surplus, Valor Economico newspaper reported.
The plan will be unveiled by President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva's economic team, Valor said, without saying how it got the information. The creation of the lender, which will likely be named Eximbank, has been considered for more than two decades.
Under the program, exporters that are eligible to receive tax credits for some social security taxes will be refunded within 45 and 90 days, compared with the average five-year period previously, Valor noted.
Importers of machinery and other capital goods will also be eligible for some tax exemptions, under the assumption such imports favor the country's ability to compete and reduce supply bottlenecks, Valor reported.
Small and medium-sized enterprises will be allowed access to a tax registration system that is now only permitted for the biggest companies, and new tax rules will encourage the smaller firms to export, Valor added. (Reuters)


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In doing so, however, the publisher also did one thing that might incite a bit of rage among some fighting game nerds: Aksys is only releasing the game on PSN (for PS3) in North America. In Japan, the fighter was released on disc for PS3 and Xbox 360. While it might be a loss for Xbox players, we're going to assume PS3 owners will be able to pick up the digital release for a bit less than it would cost them to import the disc version -- which sells for ¥7,140 ($86!).
If you're unfamiliar with the series, Arcana Heart 3 is a hand-drawn 2D fighter featuring a cast of 23 female combatants, who can be paired with 23 different "Arcana" spirits to augment their abilities. Arcana Heart 3 includes three characters new to the series: Weiss, Eko and Scharlachrot, as well as a new, optional simplified control scheme for new players. It'll be available this spring; and a trailer is available right now, after the break.


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How to Share the News of Your Pregnancy Loss
Etiquette is probably one of the last things on your mind if youve experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Certainly, taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally is your highest priority right now. But there may come a time you decide to send out an announcement about your babys death to friends and family.
Here youll find some suggested wordings for loss announcements of many kinds.
Announcing a Miscarriage or Stillbirth- If youve already told people youre pregnant, it may be easier to send out an announcement, either by mail or e-mail to let everyone know at once that youve miscarried.
Below you'll find some suggestions for how to announce your loss. While each is tailored to a specific type of loss, each could be adapted for your personal needs.
Social Networks- If youre the type of person who has an extensive social life on Facebook, Twitter, or blogging, you may have announced your pregnancy to hundreds of people already. To avoid well-intensioned, but potentially hurtful questions about your pregnancy in the weeks and months to come, you may want to post an announcement about your loss on those same social networks.
Thank You Cards for Shower Gifts- In the case of late losses, especially near-term or term stillbirths, you may have already had a baby shower. You may have set up a nursery with the gifts you received. Maybe you didnt have a chance to send out thank you cards before tragedy struck. Should you send them now? People will certainly be understanding if you dont. However, it may be an opportunity to share the news about your baby and announce your intentions with your shower gifts.
Here are some sample thank you notes:
Other Suggestions-
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Mimi_The_Fox Aug 12, 2008
awwwww thats cute! i liek it its better than mine cuz i cant do bodyz! lol a 500 if i could rate it that!
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text: Geotechnical Engineering and Management Masters/MSc/Diploma/Certificate OverviewCourse detailsLearning and teachingEmployability Postgraduate degree programme Geotechnical Engineering and Management Masters/MSc/Diploma/Certificate: This programme is designed to support high-level training and enhance both the technical and managerial skills of graduates and experienced personnel who work in or aspire to a career in the construction or related industries. There is a wide range of opportunity in the Civil Engineering profession for geotechnical specialists, particularly those who combine geotechnical knowledge with essential managerial skills aspects associated with the Construction Industry. Modern structures, such as buildings, embankments and dams, must satisfy exacting stability and deformation criteria, and they may have to be sited on weak or compressible ground. It is the responsibility of the geotechnical engineer to plan and direct the necessary ground investigations and laboratory testing, interpret the results, and propose methods of design and construction to overcome difficulties caused by inadequate ground. The long-term performance of the structure must be predicted, and instruments may have to be installed to check the prediction. This needs a sound knowledge of engineering geology, soil and rock mechanics, current civil engineering design, and of construction management and practice. This MSc programme is designed to support high level training and enhance both the technical and managerial skills of recent graduates or experienced personnel who work in, or aspire to a career in, the construction or related industries. This programme is aimed at Civil Engineers and Geologists who wish to widen their professional scope or to specialise in geotechnical engineering with the addition of modern managerial skills. To summarise the detailed information above, the teaching concentrates on four essential aspects of the subject: Physical, chemical and mechanical properties of soils and rocks; ground investigation; field and laboratory testing Engineering geology and site investigation Analysis, design and construction of foundations, retaining walls, embankments and slopes including methods of ground reinforcement and improvement. Managerial skills for the construction industry, including groundworks and risk management, BIM in infrastructure and infrastructure planning process EU Referendum Answering your questions and concerns about the outcome of the EU referendum. Petros Isidorou MSc Geotechnical Engineering "The University of Birmingham is one of the best educational institutions in the UK. It has been providing a Masters course in Geotechnical Engineering since 1956, which has developed an excellent reputation. Job prospects after graduation are excellent!" Course details This course is offered in both full-time and part-time modes: Masters degree/MSc: 12 months full-time, 24-36 months part-time Postgraduate Diploma: 10 months full-time, 24-36 months part-time Postgraduate Certificate: 10 months full-time, 24-36 months part-time This programme is designed to support high-level training and enhance both the technical and managerial skills of graduates and experienced personnel who work in or aspire to a career in the construction or related industries. It is aimed at civil engineers and geologists who wish to widen their professional scope, or to specialise in geotechnical engineering with the addition of modern managerial skills. The programme consists of taught modules (lectures, seminars, laboratory classes and workshops), a site visit and a research project. External lectures are provided by experts and leaders from industry to supplement the key academic parts of the programme. With an excellent reputation across the industry, the course focuses on essential aspects of the subject, including: physical, chemical and mechanical properties of soils and rocks; ground investigation; field and laboratory testing; engineering geology and site investigation; analysis, design and construction of foundations, retaining walls, tunnels, embankments and slopes including methods of ground reinforcement and improvement. The Management programme also covers managerial skills for the construction industry, including groundworks and risk management, BIM in infrastructure and infrastructure planning process. The research project allows for detailed study into a particular area of geotechnical engineering and can focus upon laboratory testing,numerical modelling or management of geotechnical processes/applications. Related links Civil Engineering postgraduate degree courses Taught postgraduate degree courses - School of Civil Engineering Why study this course Why study this course at Birmingham?...in short we offer two masters courses in Geotechnical Engineering that provide flexibility, broad subject coverage, high quality delivery and excellent job prospects on graduation. One course allows a full development of all the important technical aspects associated with Geotechnical Engineering while the other course builds on a strong technical core and yet allows new developments in management practice to be covered. Our courses are ideally suited to recent graduates or those seeking to boost their career prospects. Birmingham has been providing a highly respected masters course in geotechnical engineering for more than 50 years now and has built up an excellent reputation for providing the graduates industry needs: "For the past years Atkins has recruited students from the MSc course at the University of Birmingham. I have found that the MSc course provided the students with a comprehensive and diverse understanding of Geotechnical Engineering, which has allowed the recruits to develop their careers. The course is successful in providing the essential technical aspects in the subject, but also allows a sound practical application of the skills learnt" Neil Fraser, Divisional Director, Atkins Ltd, Birmingham. Our courses are continually updated to meet the ever changing environment faced by geotechnical engineering, underpinned by excellence in research with strong links from industry. Graduates often secure employment long before they graduate or use it as a stepping stone in their career development. Rob Tranter, former full time student, "Coming from an assistant geologist position in a small consultancy the MSc course has allowed me to appreciate the technical theory behind geotechnics and how to apply that theory to actual geotechnical problems. I have found the course to be structured with defined learning outcomes supported by helpful lecturers. I feel that the course prepares engineers for entry into industry having a confident grasp of the subject that allows for contribution to any geotechnical project." The best in geotechnical engineering Maintaining high standards in teaching and research has enabled us to consistently produce outstanding graduates. Find out about some of our most recent award winning alumni. Modules This course consists of 180 credits. This comprises a 60-credit individual researchproject plus 120 credits in taught learning. TitleCredits Research Project 60 Soil Mechanics 20 Foundation Engineering 20 Slopes and Retaining Structures 20 Ground Investigation 20 Engineering Earthworks 20 Infrastructure Development Planning 20 Please note: The modules listed on the website for this programme are regularly reviewed to ensure they are up-to-date and informed by the latest research and teaching methods. Fees and funding Annual Tuition fees 2018/19 UK/EU students MSc full-time: £10,170 Postgraduate Diploma full-time: £7,830 Postgraduate Certificate full-time: £3,915 International students MSc full-time: £20,610For further information please view the fees for international students page. Further funding information Scholarships and studentships Scholarships may be available, further information is in our funding database. Learn more about fees and funding. For further information contact the department directly or email email@example.com Entry requirements A 2:1 Honours degree in a relevant subject (eg, Engineering, Science, Geology, Geography or Mathematics). Practical experience will also be taken into account. Learn more about entry requirements. International students We accept a range of qualifications from different countries – learn more about international entry requirements. Standard English language requirements apply. How to apply International students requiring visas Monday 2 July 2018 is the application deadline for international students who require a visa to study in the United Kingdom. We are not able to consider applications for 2018 made after this date; a new application should be made for September 2019. Applications will reopen for 2019 entry by 21 September 2018. Before you make your application You may wish to register your interest with us to receive regular news and updates on postgraduate life within this Department and the wider University. Making your application When clicking on the Apply Now button you will be directed to an application specifically designed for the programme you wish to apply for where you will create an account with the University application system and submit your application and supporting documents online. Further information regarding how to apply online can be found on the How to apply pagesApply now OverviewLearning and teaching Assessment Candidates must pass the written examinations, achieve a satisfactory project assessment, submit satisfactory coursework, satisfy practical training requirements and comply with University Regulations. Successful candidates are awarded the degree of Master of Science (Geotechnical Engineering and Management) at the Degree Congregation held in December following the end of the Programme. Candidates who score an overall average of 70% or more are awarded a degree of Master of Science with Distinction Staff details The course is taught by several University staff and by visiting lecturers who provide material that is enhanced by a depth of research and industrial experience. The University staff teaching on the programme include: Professor David Chapman Professor Ian Jefferson Dr Gurmel Ghataora Dr Dexter Hunt Dr Nicole Metje Dr Alexander Royal Visiting include: Professor Peter Braithwaite (Independent consultant) Professor Martin Culshaw (British Geology Survey) Professor Terry Ingold (Independent consultant) and many other leading industrialists in the geotechnical engineering Course detailsEmployability University Careers Network Preparation for your career should be one of the first things you think about as you start university. Whether you have a clear idea of where your future aspirations lie or want to consider the broad range of opportunities available once you have a Birmingham degree, our Careers Network can help you achieve your goal. Our unique careers guidance service is tailored to your academic subject area, offering a specialised team (in each of the five academic colleges) who can give you expert advice. Our team source exclusive work experience opportunities to help you stand out amongst the competition, with mentoring, global internships and placements available to you. Once you have a career in your sights, one-to-one support with CVs and job applications will help give you the edge. If you make the most of the wide range of services you will be able to develop your career from the moment you arrive. Professional accreditation The MSc version of this degree is accredited as meeting the requirements for Further Learning for a Chartered Engineer (CEng) for candidates who have already acquired an Accredited CEng (Partial) BEng(Hons) or an Accredited IEng (Full) BEng/BSc (Hons) undergraduate first degree. See www.jbm.org.uk for further information. Learning and teaching


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Never update your wii from a game disk.
Printable View
So can someone direct me to where I can find out how to make this game play without updating pls?
thanks alot
thank looy
sure, the game uses IOS53
1) Download this ]IOS53-55 v5149.rar
2) Paste it into your WAD folder on your SD card
3) Install the WAD using WAD Manager
4) Enjoy :)
Yup. I have the game. Been stuck on Level 2 for some reason >_> either i have to leave b4 i finish or the game freezes.
Ha! the game always freezes after I've conquered a difficult part. Right before it saves.