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CADster's lude - Phase II
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CADster's lude - Phase II
Engine - top half
- February 16, 2007 10:20 PM (GMT)
Phase II - Engine
B20a5 block (re-ringed)
B20a5 head - heavyly massaged
B20 intake cam
B21 exhaust cam
GUDE machined intake maifold
GUDE bullfrog TB
AEM adjustable cam gears
12lb flywheel (not installed)
Exeedy Stage I clutch (not installed)
Magnaflow muffler (not installed)
well phase II was going to be interior. this did not happen. still needing to get a pair of superclean front seats.
after buying several parts in my quest to go turbo, i decided to go N/A
with the red lude. so the red ludes engine build became Phase II.
if you never saw the phase I build go here -
not 100% complete. still need to install lightned flywheel and stage I clutch and get some kind of exhaust. i got the clutch and flywheel, just did not install yet. i hope LSD or megan or somebody gives us an aftermarket N/A exhaust solution soon.
anyhoo.. on to the photos...
engine before the refresh. while not running tops with a slight headgasket problem,
she cranked everyday and only used a quart of oil every 3k miles.
take the top off and check out the valvetrain. this golden brown look is fine for a 200k mile motor.
after this head was pulled and all the oil drained off, it had a light golden tint and looked great.
like i said.. she was not running tops. you can see here i had two lean cylinders and one 'wet'.
with the top half off, you can really see how old the car really is.
cylinder walls still had the hatch marks and looked great. once the engine was
this far down, i saw all kinds of lost hardware and crap in almost every corner
on to the goodies.... allude sold me this stuff a while back. this was for the turbo build,
but we all know what happened with that
port matched to the new head...
and this is the badboy. just about everything that can be done to a head was done to this. line bored,
valves countersunk, full port, 3 angle, .35 shaved ...
notice the differences between the block side of each head in the above pics ( 002 and 008 ) ..
think i shaved enough off ???
the cams shown are stock b20a5 intake and stock b21a1 exhaust
underdrive pully installed (old pic..... installed long ago)
head on...
per bobnova's instructions... put head on with stock cam gears and get everything lined up. lock cams and remove the gears, install adjustable cam gears. as always.. his info was helpful, and worked like a charm. cant give no rating points though
uhh.. houson.. we have a problem
ahhh.... thats better
bullfrog T/B and new hose routing.. looped both the T/B stuff back unto themselves. very hard cold starter now .... duh.
top view of installed GUDE intake... flipped my vacuum firm lines a while back. i think it looks much better.
two sundays/months later or whatever, and ta-daa !!! she cranks and runs like a top
not tuned, or anything special like that. adjusted cam gears set to -1/+1 (after shave correction).
in a nut shell, runs pretty much like stock untill you kit 5K..
then its like vtec or NAAAAWWWS or something.... its a different engine.
sadly, a mere 1500 rpms later, you got to shift.
maybe if i had put in high compression forged pistons and lighter/stronger rods
i would feel more, so a true bottom build could help some,
but i dont see the need when i looked at the walls.
and sorry for the links... my server dont seem to allow remote image linking anymore....
- February 17, 2007 12:40 AM (GMT)
Dyno time. :)
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He is one win away from perfection, one away from joining the legendary Richardsons and one win away from at least partly erasing some bad memories.
But Glenn Howard knows better than anyone that he's also one loss away from a long summer of answering questions.
Howard and his Ontario team of Richard Hart, Brent Laing and Craig Savill head to their fourth Tim Hortons Brier final in the last four years Sunday at the Metro Centre. For the skip, it's his ninth trip to the ultimate game. While he's won three of them (a fourth victory would tie him with the legendary Richardson family of Saskatchewan for second in overall Brier titles), he's also lost five and that's a number he'd rather not see increase.
"It's an incredible stat," stated Howard. "Nine out of 12 is unbelievable but my winning record is not the best. The percentage of wins is not good and that's upsetting because coming second is not fun. If we happen to lose [Sunday]night I won't be very happy."
A Howard loss would be his first not only at this year's championship but also through the entire playdown run. The rink that plays out of the Coldwater, Ont., Curling Club ran the table at the Ontario finals in February, taking 12 straight games.
That stretch was a bit of salve for a team that lost one of the biggest games of its career in December when it was defeated in the Olympic Trials final by eventual gold medalist Kevin Martin.
"Personally I won't be over that for a year but that being said, I really don't think that affects us here," said Howard. "Am I happy about it? No. Am I disappointed? Absolutely. But I don't think about the Trials at any point this week."
Hart knows all about those tough losses, too, having fallen in the gold medal game at the 1998 Olympics, while playing with Mike Harris. He knows there's nothing you can do about those but move on.
"It was just one of those disappointing games, I've got lots of them," he reflected. "I've got one from '98 and I've got four provincial final losses that are disappointing and never go away but you're always on to the next thing."
In fact, rather than wallow in self-pity, the team decided to use the tough Trials' loss as incentive for its Brier run. Second Brent Laing told his teammates that coming of the tough loss at the Trials, they should commit to a new goal of going undefeated at the Ontario playdowns. That worked and so Howard upped the ante by establishing a team goal of a perfect week at the Brier.
And that's what they've managed to do, positioning themselves one win away from having their names engraved on the Tankard yet again.
To get that victory, however, they'll need to get past a tough Alberta squad skipped by Kevin Koe. That's a squad, however, that Howard has played well in the past.
"We have a really good record against them," said Hart.
"That's good for us and bad for them. Hopefully they remember that we've beaten them a lot and they don't like that and haven't figured out how to beat us yet and hopefully they don't figure it out [in the final]"

subset: commoncrawl


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Written on: 28/06/2010
I tried this for a while and ended up with Iron deficiency. I am not sure the cereals have all the nutrients they claim on the packet. It is a convenient way to diet. But if you are young and planning to start a family this is not good. I have now gone back to eating normal diet in moderation ofcourse with excercise.


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Family involved in SUV-biker clash was in 'fear for our lives'Thu Oct 3, 2013
Princess Diana biographer identifies 'mystery man' in photoFri Jan 4, 2013
Hyperemesis gravidarum: 'You just feel like you're dying'Mon Dec 3, 2012
- Are you kidding me with the sips of sprite and crackers? Do you know what that creates? A big lump of paste coming out of your throat a few minutes later. I was hospitalized several times during my pregnancies (people told me it may not be as bad the second time...it was). I weighed less after givin …
Police: Man kills mother-in-law's husband, 19, and her ex, 70Wed Sep 5, 2012
S. Carolina neighbors wage battle over Confederate flagMon Sep 26, 2011
Carnival: Man jumped overboard on Mexico cruiseSun Sep 25, 2011
9/11 victim's name wrong on memorialTue Sep 13, 2011
Hurricane Irene slams into New Jersey, shuts down NYCSat Aug 27, 2011
Toddler reportedly locked in plane's overhead binSun Mar 6, 2011
- We don't have near enough information here. Was the child being unruly...were the child and his father in fact playing peek-a-boo...did the child cry from being put in the bin? I would imagine if the child cried it was from his mom having a hissie fit. No wonder the dad & mom are estranged. I also …
How do you think the show should proceed without Sheen?Thu Mar 3, 2011
- Adam, As Simon would say...brilliant! Except I'd change two things...I'd have Charlie go off to a deserted island with two "goddesses" and leave the house to Jake. And I'd have Rose to transfer her affections to whoever ends up replacing Charlie to prevent her from being written out of the show... …


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What are the pros? easy, delicious, stores well
What are the cons? can be hot
I planted these with other fall radishes to see how I liked them. I thinned them and we ate the thinnings in salads. They grew to quite large, some of them and rarely pithy. A big hit. all in all; we eat them raw or cooked, they stored in the root cellar all winter so we were still eating them in May, plus they are good in fermented vegetables.
Would you recommend this product to a friend?
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Artist description:
After finishing it, I realized how imperfect it is. The heads too crooked, the smile a bit wonky, but I think I like it even more because of it. ^^
Canvas Draw Created Dec 20, 2011 640 x 460px Unless noted Copyright 2011 bloodhill.
We encourage you to submit a comment and let the artist know what you think of this drawing. Please log in or join to post a comment.
Post a comment
This is EXCELLENT!!! 5/5
Thanks. ^^
WOW I love jace!! Very nice! =D
Jack is better than sliced bread. Really. Thank you. ^_^
great draw...


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Live Commentary
HOW TENSE WAS THAT?! Spain showed nerves of steel to win that shootout, after Portugal pushed them all the way in normal and extra-time. Credit to the Spanish penalty takers for keeping their cool after Alonso missed their first spot-kick, particularly Ramos for his outrageous Panenka-style effort. Thanks for joining me for what has been a breathtaking few hours of football. Be sure to catch the second semi-final right here tomorrow evening, as Germany take on Italy to decide who gets to face Spain in the final on Sunday. For now, goodnight everyone.
SPAIN ARE THROUGH TO THE FINAL!! Their dream of three major tournaments in a row lives on as Cesc Fabregas fires home the winning penalty, after Bruno Alves had hit the crossbar for Portugal in the shootout. Cristiano Ronaldo, strangely, was down to take the fifth spot-kick for Portugal, but as it turns out, he didn't even get to take one, after Alves and Moutinho missed their penalties.
SPAIN WIN THE SEMI-FINAL ON PENALTIES!!! PORTUGAL 0-0 SPAIN (aet, 2-4 on penalties)
120' + 9'Pen SO Goal Cesc Fàbregas
2-4. FABREGAS SCORES!! In off the left-hand post. A fantastic strike.
120' + 8'Pen SO Miss Bruno Alves
2-3. ALVES HITS THE BAR FOR PORTUGAL!! Advantage to Spain now...
120' + 7'Pen SO Goal Sergio Ramos
2-3. RAMOS SCORES WITH A PANENKA!! Pirlo eat your heart out. Ramos nonchalantly chips the ball into the back of the net.
120' + 6'Pen SO Goal Nani
2-2. NANI SCORES!! Casillas had no chance of saving that, it was smashed high into the roof of the net.
120' + 5'Pen SO Goal Piqué
1-2. PIQUE SCORES!! Coolly dispatched into the bottom left corner by the Spain defender.
120' + 4'Pen SO Goal Pepe
1-1. PEPE SCORES!! The centre-back slots it calmly into the bottom left-hand corner.
120' + 3'Pen SO Goal Iniesta
0-1. ANDRES INIESTA SCORES!! Straight down the middle, Patricio dives right.
120' + 2'Pen SO Miss Joao Moutinho
0-0. JOAO MOUTINHO MISSES TOO!! Another fine stop, Casillas diving to his right.
120' + 1'Pen SO Miss Xabi Alonso
0-0. XABI ALONSO MISSES. Fantastic save from Patricio low to his left.
120'Casillas wins the toss and chooses his side Spain to shoot first.
120'This one is going to penalties! 120 minutes could not separate these two sides!
119'Remarkable composure from Spain in their penalty area to play keep ball from Oliveira and Varela. That was training ground stuff, in the last few minutes of extra-time. Brilliant.
118'GREAT DEFENDING FROM PEPE!! The defender has put in a fine performance for Portugal tonight and he's not about to stop now, heading the ball away from Patricio's goal to safety after Jordi Alba had curled a cross in from the left.
117'THE OFFSIDE FLAG IS UP!! And that is a wrong decision from the linesman. Neither Iniesta or Fabregas was offside in that move, as they worked the ball on the edge of the Portugal box. Unsurprisingly, they are not happy with the referee's decision to pull play back.
115'Portugal have a free-kick and a chance to catch their breath as Fabregas climbs all over the back of Pereira as he looks to latch on to a Jesus Navas cross from the right.
114'CHANCE FOR PEDRO!! Fabregas nicks the ball from Pepe and flicks a pass into the run of Pedro, but he doesn't have the pace to get away from the Portugal defence, as Fabio Coentrao races across and clears the ball out for a throw-in.
113'SubstitutionRaúl Meireles Silvestre Varela
113'Yellow Card Xabi Alonso
113'Alonso catches Ronaldo with his studs on the halfway line as his Madrid team-mate looks to counter-attack. Cynical from Alonso, and deserving of the yellow card that the referee Cakir produces.
112'Portugal make their last change of the match, the pacy Silvestre Varela replacing Raul Meireles.
111'ANOTHER DECENT SAVE FROM PATRICIO!! Navas forces a fine save from the Portugal goalkeeper with a low right-foot effort after shimmying past the challenge of Alves. Patricio parries it, Pepe taps it, and then Patricio picks it up, yet despite the Spain team's protestations that it is a backpass the referee waves play on.
110'Iniesta nearly battles his way through on goal after riding a couple of challenges inside the Portugal half, but the last defender in his way is Pepe, and there is no way he's letting Iniesta past him on this occasion. The Portugal centre-back steps in front of his La Liga rival and slams the ball upfield and away from his own goal.
108'Down goes Ronaldo. That didn't look like a foul form Ramos. If anything Ronaldo fouls Ramos having seen the replay.
107'During the break Portugal finally managed to make that change, Custodio replacing Veloso in midfield.
106'SubstitutionMiguel Veloso Custodio
106'Portugal get the second half of extra-time underway...
105'It's half-time in extra-time here. Portugal will be relieved to have a chance to collect their thoughts, no matter how brief the break is. Spain have looked rampant in their last five minutes, and only a fantastic Patricio save stopped Iniesta from breaking the deadlock.
105'SERGIO RAMOS STRIKES IT!! What an effort from the centre-back! Ramos sends a swirling effort towards Patricio's goal that swings just wide of the goalkeeper's right-hand post. A matter of inches...
104'Pedro and Alba are starting to combine brilliantly down the left, and Portugal don't quite now how to handle the troublesome duo. Pedro's latest foray results in a free-kick for his side 30 yards from Patricio's goal, to the left of centre. Portugal are on the ropes.
103'WHAT A SAVE!!! Rui Patricio's fingertips keep the score level, as Iniesta thinks he has scored after volleying the ball goalwards following some great play down the left from Pedro.
102'Spain have looked impotent from set pieces tonight, and this corner is no different as it is played short and then given away to Portugal's energetic backline.
102'Fabregas plays it short to Navas, who then tries to sling the ball into the box but it is deflected behind by Nani for another corner.
101'Portugal look like they are about to make their second change, as Custodio limbers up on the sidelines. In the mean-time Spain have a corner, that Fabregas looks set to take.
100'PIQUE STAT: He has faced Cristiano Ronaldo 14 times, and has won nine and lost just two of those games.
98'WONDERFUL CHALLENGE FROM PIQUE!! The Spain centre-back comes flying across to tackle Ronaldo on the left-hand edge of the Spain box as the Madrid man senses a goalscoring opportunity.
96'The introduction of Pedro has certainly prompted a greater sense of urgency from Del Bosque's side, and he creates another chance, setting up Iniesta for a shot on the edge of the Portugal penalty area. His strike is well-hit but is blocked by the body of Pepe, and Portugal can again clear the ball away.
95'Alonso lines up a free-kick 40 yards from goal for Spain, but again it is another disappointing delivery that is nonchalantly headed away by Bruno Alves.
94'La Roja work the ball nicely through Iniesta and Pedro on the left but the Portugal right-back Pereira does well to steal the ball from Iniesta and he looks to break into the area.
93'Sergio Busquets didn't like that challenge from Oliveira! The Portugal substitute seemed to catch the Spain midfielder in the back as they both went for the ball there.
92'Spain immediately break through Navas on the right but his cross is hacked away by Pepe.
91'Spain get us underway in the first period of extra-time here in Donetsk...
90' + 3'Yellow Card Miguel Veloso
90' + 3'The referee blows the whistle to mark the end of normal time. We've got another half an hour ahead of us guys!
90' + 3'Miguel Veloso becomes the eighth player to receive a yellow card in this game after chopping Alba to the deck on the half-way line.
90' + 2'That's a strange set piece! Alonso plays it right to the back of the Portugal box to Iniesta, who then turns away from goal and plays the ball all the way back to his defence. Very odd.
90' + 1'Navas wins a late corner for Spain after hammering the ball behind off the legs of Fabio Coentrao.
90'The referee signals there will be three minutes of added time...
89'BIG CHANCE FOR RONALDO!! Portugal launch a lightning counter-attack following a poor free-kick from Xabi Alonso, with Meireles moving the ball to Ronaldo on the edge of the Spain box. He cannot quite get the ball under control though, and his hurried shot is high and wide of Casillas' goal.
88'Nani goes hurtling down the right wing but is stopped in his tracks by some fantastic defending from Jordi Alba. The Spain left-back sprints back to get between Nani and the ball, and manages to draw a foul from the Portuguese winger, and in doing so relieves the pressure on his side.
87'SubstitutionXavi Pedro
86'Yellow Card Bruno Alves
86'Spain make their final change of the game, and it's a surprising one. Xavi trudges off the pitch at the Donbass Arena to be replaced by his Barcelona team-mate Pedro.
85'AND NOW ALVES IS IN THE BOOK! After hacking Fabregas down minutes ago, he repeats the offence, and the referee deems it one foul too many and promptly shows the Portugal defender a yellow card.
84'The ball goes over once more, Ronaldo opting to strike it with the inside of his right boot on this occasion, rather than his laces. That one never looked like troubling Casillas.
84'Ronaldo, take three...
83'Yellow Card Arbeloa
83'Ronaldo strikes it straight into the wall, but the referee has spotted a handball from Arbeloa there, and Portugal have another free-kick closer to goal this time, while Arbeloa has picked up a booking for his troubles.
82'ANOTHER FREE-KICK FOR PORTUGAL (RONALDO)!! Xabi Alonso catches Ronaldo with a late challenge as the Portugal attacker tries to spray a pass out to Nani on the right. 30 yards from goal, Ronaldo to take...
81'SubstitutionHugo Almeida Nélson Oliveira
81'Portugal make their first change of the evening, Hugo Almeida being brought off for Nelson Oliveira. Almeida may not have had his shooting boots on tonight but he certainly put in a shift for his side.
80'What a waste of a set piece from Miguel Veloso. Portugal win a free-kick on the right, and it is set up perfectly for the instep of Veloso's left foot, but instead of curling a dangerous inswinging cross into the Spain area, he puts it straight into Casillas' gloves.
78'The problem when Spain play Fabregas as a 'false nine' is that he fails to stay high up the pitch, and constantly drops in to midfield to try and gain possession. It's leaving Spain with nothing upfront, and they are therefore struggling to create chances in this second half.
77'Bruno Alves goes in late and heavy on Fabregas as the Barca player juggles the ball in his own half. That was brutal from Bruno, and fairly unnecessary with the ball 60 odd yards from the Portugal goal.
75'Portugal have a chance to work the Spain defence, but Moutinho's final pass to Nani is slightly underhit and away from his team-mate. If that had been into Nani's stride he would have been in on goal there. Small margins...
74'Jesus Navas is hugging the right touchline for Spain, and his team-mates could really do with giving him the ball. Iniesta chooses to go it alone, and promptly loses the ball to the tireless Moutinho.
73'THAT IS NOT FAR AWAY!! Ronaldo applies his trademark swerve to the ball but instead of flying into the back of the net, it goes a yard over the crossbar.
72'Guess who is taking this?
71'Arbeloa steps across Ronaldo as the Portuguese attacker strides forward, and that is a blatant foul. The referee blows his whistle and Portugal now have a free-kick about 30 yards from goal, just left of centre.
69'Jesus Navas gets his first chance on the ball, and he very nearly creates a goalscoring opportunity for Spain, racing past Pereira before cutting a ball back into the area. There is no Spain player running onto the pass though, and Pepe is able to hoof the ball away for Portugal.
68'XAVI SHOOTS STRAIGHT AT PATRICIO!! The Spanish midfielder drives forward towards the Portugal goal before unleashing a shot from 25 yards that flies straight into the arms of the waiting Patricio.
67'CLASSIC ALONSO! Spain win a free-kick 15 yards inside their own half and Alonso spots Patricio off his line and decides to fire a long-range effort towards goal, but the ball drifts harmlessly wide, much to the goalkeeper's relief.
66'Iniesta is screaming for the ball in acres of space on the near side but his team-mates fail to supply him with a pass, and promptly lose it to a neat challenge from Veloso.
65'Xavi sends an enticing cross into the box but Hugo Almeida, of all people, is there to head the ball away.
64'Yellow Card João Pereira
64'Pereira catches Fabregas after the Barcelona man did well to break down the left, and Spain now have a free-kick a couple of yards outside the Portugal penalty area.
63'The Spanish fans responded to Pepe's foul with chants of "asesino, asesino" (assassin, assassin). Very good.
61'Yellow Card Pepe
61'OUCH!! No love lost between the two Madrid team-mates Pepe and Xabi Alonso, as the former catches the latter with a flying knee, and unsurprisingly is then shown a yellow card for his efforts. I struggle to comprehend what goes through Pepe's head sometimes. He is such a talented defender but he does love to lose his temper far too often.
60'SubstitutionDavid Silva Jesús Navas González
60'Yellow Card Busquets
60'SPAIN ARE MAKING ANOTHER CHANGE! David SIlva is coming off for Jesus Navas. The Sevilla trickster has looked dangerous whenever he has been used so far in this tournament, and scored the winning goal in the crucial match against Croatia in the group stages.
59'Almeida has another chance to test Casillas wide on the left this time, but his second shot is not as good as his first, and goes high and wide of the Spain goal.
57'ALMEIDA SHOOTS OVER!! Portugal's centre-forward finds a pocket of space 30 yards from goal, and thinks to himself, 'I may as well have a go'. He strikes it well with his left-foot but the ball flies just over Iker Casillas' crossbar.
56'Portugal win another corner after some great play from Meireles. Nani whips it in to the Spain box but it is comfortably sidefooted away by the substitute Cesc Fabregas.
55'I feel sorry for Negredo though, he had little to work with tonight, the supply to him was well below the usual Spain standard. Let's see if Fabregas can have more of an impact! Let me know what you think about that substitution by posting your thoughts in the comment box to the right of this LIVE commentary!
54'SubstitutionNegredo Cesc Fàbregas
54'Del Bosque makes his first change of the night, and it's no surprise to see Alvaro Negredo is the man coming off to be replaced by Cesc Fabregas, the scorer of two goals so far in this tournament.
53'Portugal have a corner of their own that Joao Moutinho fires into the near post, but Jordi Alba does well to play the ball off Nani and out for a Spain goal-kick.
52'Iniesta takes the corner short, but the set piece is wasted as Sergio Ramos strays into an offside position when the eventual cross is curled into the box, and Portugal are awarded a free-kick.
51'Xavi instigates some magic, switching the ball out to Arbeloa on the right who hangs a cross into the Portugal box that Pereira is forced to head behind to safety.
50'Portugal have picked up where they left off, pressing Spain high up the pitch, giving their defenders no time on the ball. Credit to the Spain defence though, they've kept the ball well in the last couple of minutes.
48'It will be interesting to see how long Vicente Del Bosque keeps these XI players on the pitch, he has got options on the bench. Fernando Llorente changed the game the last time these two sides met in a competitive fixture at the 2010 World Cup, with Spain eventually winning that match 1-0. I wonder if he might be introduced before too long...
47'A high foot from Nani as he looks to nick the ball from Alonso results in a free-kick for Spain, before Alba then goes flying into the back of Meireles. It's been a sloppy opening few minutes to the second half!
46'Portugal get this match back underway, immediately passing the ball back to their centre-backs.
The teams make their way back out onto the pitch at the Donbass Arena, with neither side making changes at half-time.
Meireles: Passes Completed- 22 Passing Accuracy: 90.9% Which would be impressive, if he wasn't being compared to Xavi... Spain may have been disappointing but Xavi is still having a stormer! Passes Completed- 41 Passing Accuracy- 97.6%.
I've checked our Portugal Expert, Stephen Gillett's claim that Meireles is out-passing Xavi, and here is the truth...
And now let's hear the thoughts of our Spain Expert, Ben Hayward: "You have to wonder if some fresh legs may help La Roja, however - remember they had two days less rest than Portugal. On the flip side, can the Portuguese maintain their first-half intensity for another 45 minutes or perhaps longer? For their part, Spain haven't played well but they must look to the positives: they have come close to scoring and are still very much in this despite a poor opening 45 minutes. If the first half was fascinating, the second period promises to be even more so."
Another interesting stat is that Portugal have crossed the ball nine times in the opening 45 minutes. They've attempted 116 crosses in the whole tournament now, with three of their six goal so far coming from crosses into the box. Why change a winning formula!
I said Portugal have forced Spain into making errors in this first half, and the statistics support that. Portugal have made more than twice as many interceptions as their opponents, stealing the ball 13 times compared to Spain's six.
Here is Portugal Expert, Stephen Gillett's take on that first half. "This is great stuff from Portugal. They look sharp, hungry and are increasingly dictating play. Moutinho's getting a foot in everywhere and Meireles looks like he's out-passing Xavi!" I'm not sure about that second claim Stephen, but your spot on with the first one, Moutinho has certainly put himself about this evening.
HALF-TIME: PORTUGAL 0-0 SPAIN. This game has not been what people will have expected! Portugal have hassled and harried Spain in this first half, and have forced them into both losing the ball and their cool on a number of occasions. The match remains goalless, with Iniesta coming close for Spain with a curling effort from 16 yards, and Ronaldo firing a shot just wide up the other end for Portugal.
45' + 1'After a minute of added time the referee Cuneyt Cakir blows his whistle to mark the end of the first half.
45'Yellow Card Fabio Coentrao
45'Alves has given away a couple of silly fouls so far, and that's the worst of the lot. He climbs all over the back of Negredo to gift Spain a free-kick. Xavi lofts it forward but Rui Patricio, who has had very little to do so far, comes off his line to grab the ball.
44'Pereira exchanges some angry words with Jordi Alba after the Spaniard runs into the back of him. Those two will soon be club team-mates next month at Valencia if Alba doesn't join Barcelona, so they may have to apologise to one another for that little spat!
43'Spain's fans are looking anxious in the stands as Arbeloa fails to latch on to a Negredo pass on the right. I'm sure they weren't expecting this match to pan out how it has, their side have struggled in possession.
42'Pepe sends a fine ball upfield from centre-back that Pique allows to bounce over his head, and it very nearly costs him and his side! Hugo Almeida is lurking just behind him and very nearly makes connection with the pass. Fortunately for Pique, and Spain, the ball just evades him and runs out for a goal-kick.
41'Spain break through Xavi, but Moutinho is hassling the Barcelona man, and eventually nicks the ball from him. He quickly passes the ball to Ronaldo, who is barged to the ground by Alvaro Arbeloa. Moutinho is having a brilliant game so far!
40'Yellow Card Sergio Ramos
40'Sergio Ramos is shown a yellow card by the referee after cynically blocking Cristiano Ronaldo on the halfway line as Portugal looked to counter attack.
39'Here's some input from our Portugal Expert, Stephen Gillett. He's got to be happy with how his side have played so far. "All credit to Paulo Bento so far - the shape of his team looks spot on. They are forcing Spain to play passes they don't want to play and La Roja are coughing up possession on a regular basis. "
38'The crowd do not like it when Spain play the ball around at the back!! As the ball was passed between Pique, Ramos and Alba, the move was met with a cacophony of jeers and whistles from the fans.
36'Bruno Alves concedes a free-kick after jumping into the back of Negredo on the half-way line. Spain have a chance to work the ball forward from the set piece.
35'Both centre-forwards haven't really been at the races in this match so far, the game appears to be passing them by. Almeida's movement looks dogged for Portugal, while Negredo doesn't seem to be quite on the same wavelength as Xavi and Iniesta at the moment.
34'Nani is down, holding what appears to be his face. I've just seen a replay of the incident that sent him to the deck, and Jordi Alba did definitely catch him with an arm there.
33'Iniesta looks far-and-away Spain's most dangerous player tonight, as he has done all tournament. He dribbles down the left well on this occasion, before chipping a cross towards Negredo inside the Portugal box. Pepe rises to head the ball away before Negredo can make contact though.
31'Ronaldo's shot didn't quite hit the woodwork there, but don't be surprised if he does strike bar or post this evening. Portugal have hit the woodwork six times during this tournament, with Ronaldo responsible for four of those efforts.
30'CHANCE FOR RONALDO!! Moutinho floats a delightful ball out to the overlapping Pereira on the right, only for Portugal to temporarily lose possession. But Moutinho immediately wins it back, poking the ball through to Ronaldo who hammers a shot a couple of yards wide of Casillas' left-hand post.
28'INIESTA SHOOTS INCHES OVER!! Negredo holds the ball up brilliantly inside the Portugal penalty area for Spain, before firing a pass to Alonso on the edge of the box. He cannot find the space to shoot so slips the ball to Iniesta on the left-hand side of the penalty area. Iniesta cuts on to his right before curling an effort just over the crossbar. That was VERY close to breaking the deadlock.
27'FANTASTIC PRESSURE FROM PORTUGAL! Spain can't clear the ball away! Almeida, Ronaldo, and the Meireles all block Spanish efforts to hoof the ball away on the edge of Casillas' penalty area, before Almeida then has a penalty shout turned down by the referee Cuneyt Cakir.
26'Coeantrao has room on the left to whip a cross towards Almeida and Ronaldo in the penalty area, but he overhits it, and it goes straight to Jordi Alba, the Spain left-back.
25'CASILLAS STAT: If Spain beat Portugal tonight, Iker Casillas - on his 136th appearance for La Roja - will become the first player ever to win 100 international matches. He is currently on 99 wins, with 23 draws and 13 defeats.
24'Iker Casillas hoofs a free-kick straight out of play. Spain really haven't looked like their usual composed selves so far in this match.
22'Our Spain Expert, Ben Hayward, has been in touch with his views on the opening 20 odd minutes of play, "Portugal do indeed look up for this, like they never did when the two teams met at the World Cup in 2010. It's been a slow and sluggish start for Spain, meanwhile, and Alvaro Negredo has seen little of the ball. La Roja look dangerous when they do get forward, though. It's quite a game so far and both sides seem capable of scoring. The first blow could be crucial."
21'Spain like to pass it don't they? They have made over twice as many passes as Portugal (1476) at Euro 2012, with 2979. In this match they lead in passes completed 140-82.
20'FOUL ON NANI!! But not according to the referee! Sergio Ramos steps across Nani as he bursts down the right wing, causing the Portugal man to go flying to the deck, but the referee is having none of it, and waves play on. Nani can certainly feel hard done by there!
18'SPAIN AREN'T USED TO THIS!! Portugal are really taking the game to their opponents here in Donetsk, and the possession statistics are nowhere near as one-sided as they usually look when Spain play. Portugal 40%-60% Spain.
17'He curls the ball towards the penalty spot but Sergio Ramos is there for Spain to head the ball out and away from goal.
16'Ronaldo blasts it straight into the wall, but Spain cannot clear it, and Portugal win a corner just moments later. Moutinho stands over it...
15'ANOTHER BRILLIANT PLAY FROM RONALDO! Almeida shifts the ball to Ronaldo on the left and he immediately drives towards goal, pushing the ball between Pique and Arbeloa and drawing a foul as he looks to retain it. Free-kick to Portugal...
14'That was Ronaldo's first real chance to have an impact in this match, and he didn't disappoint. Portugal will look to launch that counter-attack through either him or Nani at every opportunity this evening.
13'FABULOUS FROM RONALDO!! Portugal counter-attack brilliantly down the left, Ronaldo shifting through the gears to evade the attention of Pique, before lifting a fine cross towards Hugo Almeida inside the penalty area. BUT THERE IS CASILLAS! The Spain goalkeeper rushes from his line to pluck the ball off the head of Almeida. Brilliant goalkeeping.
11'That's risky behaviour from the Spanish fans, after Denmark's fans did that in the group stages, Ronaldo went on to score three in two games, and look like a man possessed whilst doing so.
10'Here's a quick update from Martin Langer, who is at the Donbass Arena this evening, and it's not happy reading for Mr. Ronaldo. "And here they go! The Spanish fans chant "Messi, Messi" to Cristiano Ronaldo."
9'SCRAP THAT!! Iniesta ghosts into the box on the left before sliding the ball to Negredo, he cannot quite turn and get a shot away but the ball runs through to the on-rushing Arbeloa on the edge of the box. The right-back, who has never scored for Spain, fails to change that, sidefooting the ball over the crossbar.
8'Spain haven't really settled yet, and this is made clear by first Iniesta and then Silva miscontrolling the ball on the left-hand side.
6'Andres Iniesta flicks the ball brilliantly into the path of Jordi Alba, who looks to cut inside but is met by yet another Pepe tackle, allowing Portugal to clear the ball away to safety.
5'PEPE STAT: Gianluca Zambrotta (26) and Lilian Thuram (24) are the only defenders to have received more fouls than Pepe at the Euros. The Portugal centre-back has received 23.
4'GOOD TACKLE FROM PEPE!! A neat flowing move between Xavi, Silva and Negredo is brought to an abrupt end by the Portugal centre-back, who nips across to dispossess Negredo as the striker attempts to drive into the Portugal penalty area.
3'PORTUGAL WILL BE HAPPY WITH THIS START! Spain have barely touched the ball so far. It is not often you can say that!
3'Veloso hangs the resulting corner to the back post and forces Iker Casillas into tipping the ball over for another corner for Portugal. This one is easily caught by Casillas though.
2'A shoddy clearance from Alvaro Arbeloa in the right-back position goes straight to Miguel Veloso 30 yards from goal. He immediately tries to fire an effort at goal, but it is deflected behind for a corner by Gerard Pique.
1'AND WE ARE OFF... Spain get the match underway, Xabi Alonso quickly spraying a long high ball towards Alvaro Negredo but Pepe gets in front of the Sevilla striker to head the ball upfield.
The two captains Iker Casillas and Cristiano Ronaldo are speaking to the crowd ahead of the game kicking off about the importance of UEFA's Respect Diversity campaign. Good work lads.
Spain (4-3-3): Casillas; Arbeloa, Ramos, Pique, Alba; Xavi, Busquets, Alonso; Iniesta, Negredo, Silva
Portugal (4-3-3): Patricio; Pereira, Pepe, Alves, Coentrao; Meireles, Moutinho, Veloso; Nani, Almeida, Ronaldo
A quick reminder of the two side's starting XIs this evening before the game kicks off:
The stadium is looking a bit too empty for my liking, let's hope those seats fill up in the next few minutes.
The players are making their way out onto the pitch at the Donbass Arena, Spain are wearing their traditional red kit this evening after Portugal opted to wear their white away kit. And now we have the anthems!
Spain's manager Vicente Del Bosque claimed his side must "try and deactivate" Ronaldo this evening, while also describing the match as "the most important game of our lives". The man charged with marking Ronaldo tonight, is one of his Madrid team-mates Alvaro Arbeloa, and though the Spanish press have clamoured for his removal from the starting XI, the right-back has actually had a pretty decent tournament so far. Yes, his passing isn't quite up to the standards of some of his team-mates, but he is disciplined in his positioning, and has made some vital interceptions and tackles during Spain's route to this semi-final.
The Portuguese Football Federation (FPF) expects around 1,500 Portuguese supporters to watch tonight's semi-final against Spain in Donetsk. Sadly, legendary striker Eusébio will not be one of them as the former Portuguese international, who was hospitalised earlier this week due to illness, has just returned home in order to rest.
RONALDO-WATCH: The Portugal star has attempted about seven free-kicks from distance in the warm-up out on the pitch at the Donbass Arena, and not one of them has come close to being on-target...
Having said that, our Portugal Expert, Stephen Gillett has suggested that maybe Nani will outshine Ronaldo tonight. "While all Portugal's players have been singing their captain's praises during this tournament, deep down Nani must be more motivated than ever to grab some of the limelight for himself. The Manchester United winger is a world-class player in his own right, but has yet to develop the knack Ronaldo has for grabbing a game by the scruff of the neck. Nani has a 1-in-5 scoring rate for his country and after firing four blanks so far in Euro 2012, I fancy him to make an impact tonight."
It's difficult to look past Ronaldo though. What a fantastic couple of games he has had since being taunted by Denmark's fans with chants of "Messi! Messi!" in thr group stages. Three goals in two games, and four efforts coming back off the woodwork have helped drag Portugal to this semi-final, and if they do progress from this match, Ronaldo will no doubt have a big part to play.
IS THIS MATCH THE IBERIAN CLASICO? Barcelona's Spanish stars: Sergio Busquets, Cesc Fabregas, Andres Iniesta, Pedro, Gerard Pique, Victor Valdes, Xavi line up against Madrid's Portuguese contingent of Ronaldo, Pepe and Fabio Coentrao. With those two fierce rivals dominating the two teams tonight, can a player from a different club prove the difference?? Negredo, perhaps?
PITCH UPDATE: Both sides agreed to water the pitch at the Donbass Arena before kick-off. The pitch will then be watered again at half-time. This eliminates the possibility of any post-match whining from either team, thank goodness.
STAT ATTACK: I mentioned earlier that Spain have won just two of the last 12 meetings between these two sides, well here's a good stat for you all, 14 of Spain's 16 wins against Portugal came before 1960. Wow.
The experts have had their say on each side's starting XI, now I want you all to have yours. Get in touch with me at any point in the game tonight, by posting your comments in the neat box to the right of this LIVE commentary. I hope you're all enjoying our shiny new Match Centre, I certainly am! So, to kick things off, who do you think will have the biggest impact on this game?
We even have another Portugal Expert getting involved! Stephen Gillett has offered his thoughts on Negredo's start from a Portuguese perspective. "Alvaro Negredo starting may throw Portugal's defensive preparations slightly awry, as they will have been preparing for this game in the belief that Del Bosque would go with either Plan A: Fabregas as a 'False 9' or Plan B: Fernando Torres. It will be a big call from Del Bosque should he play Negredo, but I see the merits in playing a young, talented, hungry striker. Torres at the moment is nowhere near the player he was and Spain look pretty playing with a 'False 9', but lack penetration. Negredo, still only 22, averages almost a goal a game with both Sevilla and Spain (6 in 11 appearances for La Roja) and will be a dangerous proposition for Portugal tonight should he start."
"And spare a thought for Raul. The former Real Madrid captain is 35 today and has supported La Roja with dignity and grace since being left out by Luis Aragones in late 2006. Still considered by many, including outgoing Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola, to be the country's best-ever player, the striker has not once criticised Aragones or Del Bosque for his continued exclusion and deserves to be remembered, despite not actually participating in the side's most successful era on the pitch over the last four years."
"But spare a thought for Fernando Llorente: The Basque striker had a wonderful season with Athletic Bilbao, changed the game when Spain beat Portugal in the World Cup when he came off the bench and has been the fans' choice to come in up front in this competition. He is still waiitng for his chance."
Our Spain Expert, Ben Hayward, has weighed in with what he thinks of Del Bosque's starting XI, particularly the surprise inclusion of Negredo upfront. "Negredo has won every game he has played for Spain and scored six in 11 appearances. That is an excellent record and the Sevilla man surely deserves his opportunity tonight."
You guys are spoilt tonight, as not only will I be providing you with insight from Goal.com's Portugal and Spain experts, Luis Mira and Ben Hayward, we ALSO have two of our men at the Donbass Arena in Donetsk, James Goldman and Martin Langer, and they will be sending through colourful updates and comments on the match as it progresses. You lucky, lucky people!
SPAIN TEAM NEWS: Hello Alvaro Negredo. Vicente Del Bosque, often accused of being too predictable, has named Negredo upfront ahead of Cesc Fabregas and Fernando Torres. The Sevilla striker has only played for a single minute in this tournament so far, coming on as a late substitute against Croatia during the group stage. Like Portugal, Spain make just the one change, and like Portugal, it is their central striker who is replaced.
PORTUGAL TEAM NEWS: Paulo Bento has named the same starting XI in each of Portugal's last six competitive games, but an injury to striker Helder Postiga in the quarter-final against Czech Republic means that that neat run comes to an end, with Hugo Almeida replacing the former Spurs man upfront. Elsewhere, Portugal are unchanged.
Spain (4-3-3): Casillas; Arbeloa, Ramos, Pique, Alba; Xavi, Busquets, Alonso; Iniesta, Negredo, Silva
Portugal (4-3-3): Patricio; Pereira, Pepe, Alves, Coentrao; Meireles, Moutinho, Veloso; Nani, Almeida, Ronaldo
The line-ups have been released by UEFA, and here they are, (SPOILER ALERT: Spain are playing a REAL NINE!):
The La Roja squad have got extra motivation to win their third major tournament in a row, after hearing the news earlier this week that their fellow countryman Miki Roque, a former team-mate of Sergio Busquets and Xabi Alonso, had died of pelvic cancer aged just 23. May I take a moment to pass on the whole Goal.com team's deepest sympathies to both Roque's family and friends at such a difficult time. RIP Miki Roque.
Not since West Germany in the 1970s has a European team achieved a hat-trick of successive final appearances but Spain are just one win away from matching that feat following their triumphs at EURO 2008 and the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Vicente del Bosque's men have a more significant piece of history in their sights, though, as they bid to become the first team to retain the Henri Delaunay Cup.
Spain and Portugal have met on a football field at senior level 34 times, with La Roja winning just two of their last 12 encounters. One of those was a 1-0 win over Cristiano Ronaldo and co. in the second round of the 2010 World Cup, but the Portuguese gained revenge months later with a crushing 4-0 victory in Lisbon. I don't know if you guys remember, but Ronaldo was robbed of what would have been one of the best goals I've ever seen in that 4-0 drubbing, after Nani poked his team-mate's goal-bound shot over the line from an offside position. If you haven't seen it, it is definitely worth looking up on a website that has loads of readily available videos to watch...
Good evening and may I wish you a warm welcome to Goal.com's LIVE coverage of this evening's European Championship semi-final between Portugal and Spain at the Donbass Arena in Donetsk. My name is Charlie Scott and I'll be doing my best to keep you all informed and entertained over the course of this game.


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Gov. Rick Perry today announced the reduction of crime by 30 percent in the El Paso area during a recent border security operation known as Operation Wrangler III. Operation Wrangler III was a high-intensity surge operation that lasted 30 days in the El Paso border region.
"The success of this border security surge operation demonstrates once again that more boots on the ground, working together as a team, increases our safety and border security," Perry said. "When criminal organizations are forced to shut down their smuggling activities, our communities are safer, and the quality of life improves for all Texans."
As in previous state-led surge operations, the objective of Operation Wrangler III was to shut down organized smuggling activity between the Ports of Entry to prevent the illegal crossing of drugs, contraband and people into Texas. Local sheriffs' offices and police departments worked side-by-side with their state and federal partners in three Texas counties (El Paso, Hudspeth and Culberson counties) and two New Mexico counties (Dona Ana and Luna counties) to deny Mexican criminal organizations and transnational gangs entry into the U.S.
A key benefit of securing the border is crime reduction. Operation Wrangler III resulted in the overall reduction of crime by 30 percent during the 30 day period of operation. The El Paso Sheriff's Office documented an 82 percent reduction in aggravated assaults and 43 percent reduction in robberies. The El Paso Police Department reported a 16 percent reduction in robberies and 26 percent reduction in sexual assaults during the period of this operation.
"We are sending a clear message that an increased law enforcement presence is the key to securing our border," Perry said. "Working with numerous state, federal and local agencies we can reduce drug trafficking, human smuggling and other crime in a significant way."
In addition to the successes of Operation Wrangler III, border-wide surge operations have had a sustained impact on crime along the entire Texas-Mexico border. With 13 of the 18 border counties reporting, January-April of this year saw a 20 percent decrease in overall crime along these border areas compared to the same period of time last year. The 13 counties include Brewster, Culberson, Dimmit, El Paso, Hidalgo, Hudspeth, Maverick, Pecos, Star, Terrell, Val Verde, Zapata and Zavala.
The statistics from local law enforcement agencies in these 13 counties comparing January-April, 2006, to January-April, 2007, revealed the following overall results:
* Criminal Mischief reduced 34 percent
* Theft reduced 30 percent
* Burglary reduced 13 percent
* Aggravated Assault reduced 16 percent
* Murder reduced 15 percent
Source: http://www.governor.state.tx.us/divisions/press/pressreleases/PressRelease.2007-04-24.0303


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Welcome to ceremonial and ritual tools with integrity.
Since 1995, I have been making incenses, anointing oils, bath salts and other ceremonial paraphernalia for Wiccan practice
from 100% natural materials. This is my passion. This is my craft.
Come, celebrate with me.
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to working Majick with you. Blessed Be!
The Circle is cast, the Fire is lit; let the ritual Begin!
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Financial crime
1. Financial Crime introduction
This chapter provides an introduction and overview of what you will learn during this course.
Welcome to this course
The purpose of the course is to provide sufficient knowledge on the background and to deal mainly with the regulations relating to money laundering for those working within the regulated financial services sector. It also touches on other legislation concernin...
Shortened demo course. See details at foot of page.... (FCA)
The Bribery Act 2010
The Joint Money Laundering Steering Group (JMLSG)
Record Keeping and Training
Money laundering and bribery case studies examples
How can you apply practically what you know about tackling financial crime?
End of Course Assessment
Viewing the text
Select the chapter you want to read fro...
Shortened demo course. See details at foot of page....s you answered incorrectly along with the correct answers.
This is a shortened version of our online course, built so that you can get a good idea of what is provided. The full version shows all the current text and is fully formatted. Use the top right drop down menu to view the chapters. If you have already purchased this course, please log in to access the full version
Our online courses page lists details of all our courses. For more details on the above course see;


text: I have had this "thing" for a 14.5 middy. I cant decide what I should do though, should I just buy the barrel and tube and convert my 6920 or should I trade/sell my upper and get a BCM? I dont like mixing and matching on good guns but I cant afford to build/buy a complete upper. I know the difference and the difference wont make a difference at the distances I shoot, but I will build a rifle length one of these days.


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Many women believe that cancer is more of a threat, but they're wrong. Nearly twice as many women in the United States die of heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases as from all forms of cancer, including breast cancer. Cardiovascular diseases affect more women than men and are responsible for more than 40% of all deaths in American women. But prevention can save lives.
Find tips to help you in preventing heart disease.
How will an enlarged right heart and stiffness affect my overall health and fitness? — response from Dr. Neil Strickman
Putting the puzzle together piece by piece . . . wear red ♥ women ♥
February is American Heart Month www.cdc.gov/Features/HeartMonth/


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Painted Toe Society
The Painted Toe Society grew out of the Art Education program at Foothills Art Center. Artists in Jackie McFarland's (one of the founders of FAC, and much loved artist and teacher) painting class decided to continue painting together, sharing ideas and techniques, and supporting individual approaches to art. This lively group is diverse in styles, media, and levels of experience.
Currently the Painted Toe Society is looking for new members who would like to paint with our group. Please join us on a Monday as our guest to get acquainted! We meet Mondays from about 9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. in the Petersen Classroom. Fee is $20.00 per person per month if you decide to join. Please contact Joyce Shelton at email@example.com, or Patricia Rucker at firstname.lastname@example.com to join!
Open Studio
Short on space at home? Feeling a lack of motivation? Sometimes all you need is the right environment to generate some creative energy. Come to Foothills Art Center any Friday between 10:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. to join our open studio. Enjoy a relaxed atmosphere with plenty of natural light and space to work. There is even equipment available for you to borrow, should the need arise.
Please visit the front desk to check in before heading upstairs. Drop-in visits are $12 each or you can purchase a 6-visit punchcard for $60 for Foothills members or $66 for non-members.


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Jackie Chan Already Approached for 'Expendables 4' & 'Rush Hour 4'
by Ethan Anderton
August 15, 2014
You might remember back in 2012 that Sylvester Stallone confirmed that international action superstar Jackie Chan would have a role in The Expendables 3. However, when you look at the crowded poster and trailers, you'll notice that Chan didn't end up in the film, and there's no surprise cameo either. So what happened? Well, Stallone recently explained at a press conference the scheduling didn't work out. Stallone explained, "He's so loved in China, there's so much demand, that he literally couldn't cut those 3 days loose. We'll get him next time though, he's a good friend." And that means The Expendables 4 is in the works.
In fact, Jackie Chan has confirmed this much in an interview with Den of Geek saying:
"This morning I did hear - the office called - Sly [Stallone] wants me for 'Expendables 4.' I said, 'Okay.' Because they already asked me to be in two and three, but I refused. Well, I didn't refuse, but I said, 'Sly, can't we just do you and me? Not just a bunch of people and me only coming out for five minutes.' Because then the audience is, 'Oh!' And then I'm gone."
So will The Expendables 4 have a smaller focus with a less crowded team? If that's the case, Stallone and Chan should just team up for their own action thriller. However, there have been rumblings that Stallone wants to round up everyone who hasn't been able to appear in the franchise so far for the fourth film. So maybe that touting of "one last ride" that we've seen in The Expendables 3 trailers is just about the current team of action stars? That would make sense if the plan is to introduce a whole new team in the fourth film. But that's probably still a long way out, so stay tuned to see what happens.
However, that's not the only sequel that Jackie Chan has been considering. Apparently there are still efforts to try and get Chan to team up with Chris Tucker for Rush Hour 4. This isn't the first time we've heard about the possibility of bringing back the mismatched team for another action comedy sequel from New Line Cinema as producer Arthur Sarkissian talked about the possibility of it happening over two years ago. However, Jackie Chan isn't quite so eager to get on board, and he'll only do it if the script interests him. In fact, his attitude about the film is smart and refreshing. Chan told IGN:
"Lately they want to make 'Rush Hour 4.' I said 'No, show me the script first. I don't need another 'Rush Hour 4.' You need 'Rush Hour 4'. Show me the script.' I don't want to do a rubbish script just because they want to make the movie."
Funnily enough, Chan is working on a film right now that he thought would work as a sequel for Rush Hour. SlashFilm points out that in the winter of 2012, Chan thought that his developing film Skip Trace could have been reworked into Rush Hour 4, and Chris Tucker was actually considering joining the film. At the time, Chan explained, "The script is currently viewed by Chris Tucker. Personally, I feel that if he were to pick it up, it would be better if we turned it into Rush Hour 4, but I do think that three movies for the franchise is a perfect ending. It would be better to start a new buddy movie with someone new."
And that's exactly what Chan ended up doing. Skip Trace is now supposed to be directed by Die Hard 2 helmer Renny Harlin and Seann William Scott will co-star in the film about an American gambler (Scott) who is forced to team up with a Hong Kong detective (Chan) to battle against a notorious Chinese criminal.. It seems fitting that this film almost became Rush Hour 4 since we lamented how the film with Chan and Scott in the leads felt like it was meant to be made in the late 90s when Rush Hour was much more relevant. Anyway, we'll just have to wait and see if Jackie Chan ends up making either of these sequels. Thoughts?
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wikiHow to Connect Motorola Bluetooth Headset to a Mac
Bluetooth is a feature that allows you to connect devices to one another wirelessly. This can facilitate fast and east file sharing, as well as the ability to listen to music wirelessly. If you have an extra Motorola Bluetooth headset lying around you can use it on devices other than phones. You can connect it to any mobile devices such as a Mac that is Bluetooth compatible.
1Press and hold the headset's Power button for 10–20 seconds. Make sure the LED light will stay on.
- For some Motorola Bluetooth headsets, you need to press the button this long; otherwise, your Mac won't detect it once it scans for nearby devices.
2Click on "System Preference" on your Mac. Select Bluetooth from the list.
3Search for nearby Bluetooth devices. Wait for the Mac to detect your headset.
- If your computer can't find it, try restarting the headset.
4Select your headset from the list of detected devices. Begin the pairing process.
- A passcode is usually required before you can pair two Bluetooth devices. Normally, the passcode is 0000 or 1234. If these two won't work, you may need to consult your headset manual.
- Once your Mac and your Motorola Bluetooth headset have been paired, you can now start streaming audio wirelessly.
Community Q&A
- If you haven't used your headset for a while, you may need to recharge it first.
- There are several models of Motorola Bluetooth headsets. You can check the website and see if yours require a special method to connect it.
Article Info
Categories: Bluetooth
In other languages:
Deutsch: Ein Motorola Bluetooth Headset mit einem Mac verbinden, Português: Conectar um Fone de Ouvido Bluetooth da Motorola à um Mac, Русский: подключить Bluetooth наушники Motorola к компьютеру Mac, Español: conectar audífonos Bluetooth de Motorola a una Mac, Italiano: Collegare un Auricolare Bluetooth Motorola a un Mac, Français: connecter un casque Bluetooth Motorola à un Mac, Bahasa Indonesia: Menghubungkan Headset Bluetooth Motorola ke Mac
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,967 times.


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April 24, 2013 BY Aaron Hope
Most of adidas' recent offroad releases have featured a casual lean, but here's one that's topped out on both style and performance. The new adidas Response Trail Rerun brings bold colorways together with an adiprene-cusioned, Torsion-stabilized trail runner that's hopefully just the start of more outdoor drops to come. Check out these two high-contrast colorways after the jump below, then get a grip on yours at Three Stripes stockists like West NYC.
Filed under: Adidas Just Released Running


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Srolang Phnom Penh Crown
Preap Sovath, who joined the film crew and a host of extras to play his part in supporting Phnom Penh Crown's bid to win the AFC President's Cup. The tournament will take place on 21, 23 and 25 May and it's the first time that Cambodia has joined the ranks of the big boys to host one of the qualifying groups. And Crown mean business. Getting Preap Sovath to join the promotion is a major coup and with the television commercial being shown on local tv channels throughout next week, they hope his words, "Srolang Kampuchea, Srolang Phnom Penh Crown," will be a rallying cry for the Cambodian public. For Preap Sovath, the country's most famous singer, to herald, "Love Cambodia, Love Phnom Penh Crown" will resonate with many. For the shoot, he joined the youngsters from the Crown football club's residential academy. Earlier in the day the boys as well as members of the Crown first-team were filmed at various locations around town, including the Royal Palace and Wat Phnom.
Labels: Phnom Penh Crown, Preap Sovath


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WILLARD, Box Elder County — A man was killed Tuesday when a vehicle rear-ended a semitrailer on I-15, police said.Comment on this story
Investigators said evidence suggests the driver made no effort to slow down before slamming into the back of a semi about 5:15 p.m. No other details about the man were known Tuesday night.
Utah Highway Patrol Cpl. Todd Johnson said traffic had slowed and come to a stop because of an accident that had occurred less than 15 minutes earlier about a mile to the north. The semi was stopped in the left lane when it was rear-ended.
UHP Sgt. Brian Nelson said a witness directly behind the accident indicated there were no signs of impaired driving.
I-15 was shut down following the accident. The freeway reopened about 8 p.m.
Twitter: @McKenzieRomero


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LONDON, Sept. 10 (UPI) -- A London man who was kept up all night by his neighbors' loud singing said he responded by posting a critique of the performance on a neighborhood notice board.
Oli Beale, 33, said the Saturday night balcony singing prevented him from sleeping so he wrote a song-by-song critique of the performance and put the review on the communal notice board for his block of apartments, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday.
The note is addressed "To the people that kept us up all night by singing/screaming on their balcony" and thanks them for the "epic performance."
"Your terrace faces 115 windows so you really did have the perfect stage," the note reads. "I'm sure you're keen to hear our verdict."
The critique begins with a rendition of The Who's "Pinball Wizard," which Beale rated a "terrible" three out of 10.
He was kinder toward a performance of Elton John's "Tiny Dancer," ranking it a seven out of 10.
"Actually very good," he wrote. "I've always said it: If you're going to be woken up after 2 hours' sleep, it might as well be to a herd of morons screaming 'Tiny Dancer'."
Beale said his critique was meant in good humor.
"The poor guys, they were probably just having a party. It's not like I'm striding around absolutely fuming," he said.


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Duke at Kansas
It will be hard for No. 22 Kansas to look better than it has already this season, but the Jayhawks can get another much-needed win on Saturday when it hosts Duke at Noon ET from Memorial Stadium.
The Jayhawks are 2-0 and have outscored their opponents 83-10 on the season. Last week, Kansas defeated UTEP 34-7 on the road. Kansas led 34-0 before allowing a late UTEP score. Todd Reesing continued to build his Heisman campaign, as he threw for 260 yards and a touchdown on 25-of-41 passing. Jake Sharp had a big game running the ball in the win as he rushed for 104 yards on 16 carries with two scores while also catching a touchdown pass. As a team, the Jayhawks rushed for 255 yards while holding UTEP to just four yards on the ground. Kansas' defense limited UTEP to 255 yards and forced two turnovers with six quarterback sacks. Kansas had just 13.5 sacks all last season.
Duke is coming off a 35-19 win over Army on the road last weekend for its second-straight 1-1 start to a season under coach David Cutcliffe. Duke won just four games from 2004-2007, but has already won five in 14 games under Cutfcliffe, who is trying to turn the program around. Last week, the Blue Devils scored 21 points in the fourth quarter to get the win. Backup quarterback Sean Renfree threw for 106 yards and two touchdowns on 7-of-8 passing to lead Duke to the win. Cutcliffe decided to play Renfree for a change of pace, and it worked. Duke had just 236 yards of offense, but forced four turnovers on defense to keep the Knights from scoring.
Oddsmakers from online sports book BetOnline have made Kansas 22.5-point home favorites over Duke on Saturday afternoon. The over/under total for this game has been established at 50.
College Football Week 3 Betting Trends
KANSAS is 19-6 ATS (+12.4 Units) in all games over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 16-6 ATS (+9.4 Units) when playing on a Saturday over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 14-4 ATS (+9.6 Units) when playing with 6 or less days rest over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 6-0 ATS (+6.0 Units) in September games over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 8-1 ATS (+6.9 Units) in non-conference games over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 12-1 ATS (+10.9 Units) after 2 or more consecutive straight up wins over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 19-6 ATS (+12.4 Units) in all lined games over the last 3 seasons.
KANSAS is 14-3 ATS (+10.7 Units) as a favorite over the last 3 seasons.
DUKE is 8-1 ATS (+6.9 Units) in September games over the last 3 seasons.
Duke is 4-1 ATS in its last 5 games on the road
Duke is 3-22 SU in its last 25 games on the road
Kansas is 4-1 SU in its last 5 games
Kansas is 16-3 SU in its last 19 games at home
Week 3 College Football Injury Report
No significant injuries.
No significant injuries.
Duke Blue Devils +22.5 Over 50
Kansas Jayhawks -22.5 Under 50
Posted: 9/19/09 8:18AM ET


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"Evangelizing is in fact the grace and vocation proper to the Church, her deepest identity. She exists in order to evangelize,...to preach and teach, to be the channel of the gift of grace, to reconcile sinners with God, and to perpetuate Christ's sacrifice in the Mass, which is the memorial of His death and glorious resurrection."
Paul VI, Evangelii Nuntiandi, 14
In our Ministry of Evangelization at Franciscan, we are committed to helping our University family embrace the call to conversion through fostering a personal relationship with Jesus Christ by first recognizing our call to be evangelized. We then aim to bring the message of the Gospel to others on campus and beyond.
Since the Church exists to evangelize, we strive to support our University family in living Gospel-centered lives in the heart of the Church and reaching out to all.
Please come and join us every month for our Festival of Praise! The night includes lively praise and worship music, exhortations, the sharing of Scriptures, and allowing the Holy Spirit to work among us. We strive as a community to be open to the gifts and charisms of the Holy Spirit throughout the night and into our daily lives. Student teams lead the worship and music, as well as teams of intercession, discernment, and prayer ministry. Prayer teams ministry follows every Festival of Praise in the Christ the King chapel on campus; this allows God to continue to bless and work in His children. We will at times have adoration of the Blessed Sacrament or prayer ministry during the Festival of Praise. These are on one Saturday a month from 7:00 to 9:00 pm in the Finnegan Fieldhouse. All are welcome - please bring youth and young adult groups!
"He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire" Matthew 3:11 This student retreat provides an opportunity for an encounter with the Holy Spirit as well as learning about the gifts and charisms of the Spirit and how to live a life of joy-filled discipleship. In allowing Jesus to reign over our lives, in opening ourselves the Father's healing, we become receptive to the Love of God that is the Holy Spirit and to His gifts and charisms that He offers us. The history of the Charismatic Renewal is taught, in the context of Catholic tradition and the sacramental life of the Church. During the weekend, we will have Mass, adoration, Liturgy of the Hours, Praise and worship, talks, testimonies, fellowship, and food! This retreat is for students only.
Heeding the Second Vatican Council's declaration that "whoever follows Christ the perfect man becomes himself more a man" FUS Men's Ministry strives to foster Christian discipleship among the men of Franciscan University of Steubenville by pursuing the following goals:
Looking to the example of the great male Saints of our Catholic tradition and recognizing the signs of the times, FUS Men's Ministry earnestly endeavors to deepen in men the awareness of their true masculine identity in Jesus Christ. Thus by "speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" (Eph 4:15).
Believing that the feminine genius is inherent in the soul of every woman, FUS Women's Ministry seeks to awaken and encourage women's gifts of receptivity, sensitivity, generosity and call to motherhood as taught by Pope John Paul II in Mulieris Dignitatem. To that end, Women's Ministry seeks to accompany women on the journey toward holiness and help them to fully embrace their feminine genius by fostering growth in the following areas:
As Pope Paul VI said at the closing of the Second Vatican Council:
It is our hope that through our ministry the Women of Franciscan University of Steubenville will truly become women "impregnated with the spirit of the Gospel" who bear the light of Christ to the world.
The BeLoved Event is a once-a-year event for women. Its goal is to provide the women at Franciscan University an opportunity to experience God's love by revealing a deeper understanding of true Christian femininity. BeLoved accomplishes this vision by hosting an evening that responds to the specific needs of Christian women through a series of dynamic presentations, powerful worship, and participation in the sacraments.
Capture My Heart is a once-a-semester, off-campus, student-led retreat designed to help women embrace the invitation to fall more in love with Jesus Christ. Throughout the course of the weekend women have the opportunity to learn more about the feminine genius, pray together, and receive the love of Christ through times of prayer, praise, and especially the sacraments.
Fr. Nathan Malavolti, T.O.R.Vice President of Pastoral Care and Evangelization740-283-6407 email@example.com
Robert SiemensDirector of the Office of Evangelization 740-283-6277 firstname.lastname@example.com
Sr. Sarah Rose Dent, T.O.R. Pastoral Associate of Evangelization Praise and Worship Ministries740-283-6502 firstname.lastname@example.com
Sr. Anna Rose Ciarrone, T.O.R.Pastoral Associate of Evangelization Women's Ministries740-283-6518 email@example.com
Lauren Seback Student Assistant for Evangelization 740-283-6849 firstname.lastname@example.com
The following Saturdays, 7:00 - 9:00 p.m., Finnegan Fieldhouse
Every Tuesday night from 9:00 to 10:00 Christ the King Chapel hosts student-led worship in music, praise, testimonies, and prayer team ministries. This weekly praise and worship of God fosters openness to the gifts and charisms of the Holy Spirit.
Every morning from Monday to Friday, there is Praise and Worship in the Eucharistic Chapel of Christ the King from 7:30 to 7:55 a.m. Start of your day right by coming to praise the Lord of all goodness!


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Originally published March 16, 2012 at 8:19 PM | Page modified March 16, 2012 at 10:35 PM
Upset Friday: Two No. 2 seeds fall in NCAA tournament
First, Norfolk State knocked off Missouri, 86-84. A few hours later, another 15-seed, Lehigh, beat Duke, 75-70.
Oh, those fabulous 15s.
Did they leave your bracket in shambles? Join the club.
And sit back and enjoy this year. Because years from now, they still might be talking about Friday the 16th — the day the 15s rose up and produced one of the greatest collection of upsets in NCAA men's basketball tournament history.
First, Norfolk State knocked off Missouri, 86-84. A few hours later, another 15-seed, Lehigh, beat Duke, 75-70.
And just for good measure 13th-seeded Ohio beat No. 4 Michigan, 65-60, making Friday the first time that three teams seeded 13th or higher all won on the same day in the Big Dance.
"We messed up some brackets! We messed up some brackets!" Kyle O'Quinn shouted as he led Norfolk State players to the locker room after scoring 26 points and grabbing 14 rebounds in the upset of Missouri. "We even messed up my bracket."
But for each memorable upset winner, there is a stunned victim.
"The game has taken me to incredible highs and the game will take you to incredible lows," Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said in a televised interview after the Blue Devils' loss to Lehigh. "Today is one of those incredible lows."
|Historic day
|No. 2 seeds have lost just six times to No. 15 seeds in the NCAA tournament, but twice on Friday.
|No. 2 seed (No. 15 seed, score)
|Syracuse (Richmond, 73-69)
|Arizona (Santa Clara, 66-61)
|South Carolina (Coppin State, 78-65)
|Iowa State (Hampton, 58-57)
|Missouri (Norfolk State, 86-84)
|Duke (Lehigh, 75-70)


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WASHINGTON, April 19 (UPI) -- Chatsworth, Calif. company Trident Diving Equipment is recalling high-pressure scuba air hoses due to potential leaks, regulators said.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission said 200 air hoses were involved in the recall.
The hoses are meant to connect regulators to the air tank pressure gauge. But the company has received one report of a leaking hose, which could pose a drowning threat to scuba divers, the agency said.
The phrase, "Scuba Diving High Pressure hose I.D. 3/16 (4.76 mm) W.P. 5000 PSI Exceeds SAE 100RT braid with Kevlar fiber from Dupont," is printed on the hose's outside cover in white lettering.
The hoses have metal fittings -- one female, one male -- at either end.
They were sold from November 2011 through June 2012 for about $35.
Consumers were advised to stop using the hoses and contact Trident Diving Equipment for a free replacement.
Consumers can call 800-234-3483 for information.


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I am sorry guys, but I'm not feeling it. Knicks fans were sold a bill of goods and I am not buying it. This 2010 KNICKS team is NOT a GOOD team and will struggle to win as many games as last years team. Enough of the hype ok. I don't want to hear about "ohhh we got STAT(where did that acronym come from anyway???). All we did is trade one HARDWORKING 20/10 guy for one questionable 20/10 guy. Amare has never had to experience in Phoenix what he is about to go through in New York: the constant losing, the media, the fans, the scrutiny. You say overpaying for Amare was a good move to try to lure LJ. Well it didn't work now we are stuck with a potential problem. Amare shined last year on a good team in a contract year. Let's see how Amare competes on a bad team with with a fat bankroll in his pocket.
We were promised LJ and and another MAX player, we got Amare and a bunch of castoffs. How can you be excited about players the Warriors threw away??? Ronny Turiaf is a donut which is why the Lakeshow dumped him and the others were throw-ins to make the money work. Thats it. Now we got Felton Spencer(WHO????) and some big clown from Russia and I'm supposed to be excited about the upcoming season???
Let's call a spade a spade guys. This is ANOTHER THROW AWAY SEASON BECAUSE WE MISSED ON LEBRON. It is what it is. What do you think Knicks brass is going to admit their entire plan crumbled when Lebron spurned them??? Hell naw, their job is to sell tickets. Did you hear what Lebron said?? No matter what you think about Lebron going to the HEAT, he told it in his statement: Pat Riley and the Heat give him a better chance to win than New York. Trading away every piece of the team for pipe dreams, the Starbury debacle, the horrible draft picks, and general team mismanagement have made New York a place to stay away from and the joke of the league.
Mark it down this team will struggle to win 30 games this year. The rest of the East got way better while we are overpaying backup point guards and Russian castoffs just to save face. Its pitiful really. We are sounding like Cub fans and its pitiful:" Just wait till next year...." Just pray the MELO wants to get the hell out of the mountains and will come home and play for the KNICKS next year and we can grab a real PG like Parker or Paul, not the backup that will be starting next year. If both those thing don't happen, we need to: FIRE WALSH, FIRE DANT, START OVER!!!!


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Chapter 1 : The Curse of Carkett Close
|Rating: Mature
|Chapter Reviews: 16
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Hi all, welcome to this - whatever this is. This is kind of a crackfest experiment for me where pretty much anything goes except perhaps realistic characters and a coherent plot and the basic rules of logic. I've been in a queer sort of writing mood these last few weeks, and as a result, the narrative of this story has become somewhat mental.
There. I've done my part and you have been warned.
One: The Curse of Carkett Close
Here are a couple of things I know about Carkett Close.
First, its a decrepit, dying cul-de-sac in the maggot-eaten heart of the city, cursed down to every cobble. Or so Nora described it once, when shed swung through a bout of poetics.
The Close begins somewhere in the shabbier end of Diagon Alley. Behind the scintillating white of Gringotts Wizarding Bank, the street forks into Knockturn Alley and a brick wall.
Its the wall that you want, should you be wishing to get into the Close, though honestly speaking, not many people wish such.
Youve got to tap the brick that used to be where the twenty-fourth row and the fifteenth column of bricks intersect imagine the wall to be a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet and start counting. Only problem is, its the actual brick thats crucial here, not its position. And by that, I mean the bastard of a wall shuffles its bricks every two minutes, so forget about the intersection of the twenty-fourth row and the fifteenth column. Visitors always end up tapping at random bricks and getting them wrong, resulting in the spiteful Wall spraying black, tarry sludge onto their faces.
But The Wall is also a cunning, obscene glutton for blood; drip a little of yours onto the bricks and itll open the Close right up.
Or you can just Apparate in and out of the Close. Its up to you.
The next thing I know about Carkett Close is that everyone born in the Close, and this includes me, is CURSED. Cursed cursed CURSED CURSED. Carks tend to cark it early; more precisely, they have an average lifespan of twenty-seven years. And no matter where they drift to, the CURSE follows them.
As a popular local saying goes, Once a Cark, always a Cark.
For the first twenty-seven years of life, us Carks have it okay, usually. Sunshine follows us wherever we go, as do rain and snow and hurricanes, generally; we tend to win small amounts at lotteries, and we tend to lose as well; we have it okay in life.
But as soon as a Cark hits twenty-seven, okay starts to run out.
Sometime during their twenty-seventh year of life, Carks start dying in all manner of ways. They get knocked off by falling grand pianos (classic). They get savaged by their own beloved poodles which turn rabid overnight. They get run over by illegally Engorgio-ed lawn mowers. They die of dragonpox even if theyve had dragonpox all their lives and it never used to kill them until it does.
It has been rumoured that Death Itself comes to collect the Cark whos carked it. The Ministry of Magic have sent a hundred Cursebreakers to rid the Close of all the dark spells imbued within its stonework and streets, infecting all its people, and every one of those Cursebreakers have returned empty-handed and baffled. The Ministry is now quite resigned to the reality that all Carks are going to die horrible deaths and theyve issued a new law, which decrees that nobody is allowed to birth children in the Carkett Close Clinic, or anywhere within the area of the Close.
So maybe its easy to understand why Im not at all thrilled when I wake up one morning and realise that the Thing that Id been trying to quash for the last six months, shove it right to the back of my mind, has arrived at last and Ive got nowhere to go.
Todays my twenty-seventh birthday.
Nora Patil-Brown is my partner in literal crime and also my neighbour; her room is just two steps across the dingy landing. We left school together and now were what we call Diverters and Redirectionists.
Despite living in the Close with me, shes not a Cark, so lucky her.
Nobody knows where she comes from, and shes still on that eternal quest, which people undertake to find out the answer to who am I. (Not Spiderman). Shes the adopted daughter of two heroes from the Second Wizarding War: Lavender Brown and Padma Patil. Theres quite a story behind how they got together, though Nora is never interested in recounting it.
Bottom line about Nora is, nobody really knows her true parentage.
Shes not really Nora, for starters. Psychics and Diviners and Tarot Readers and Palmists and Enteromancers and Fire Scryers and Crystal Ball Oglers all have the ability to See The Future.
Nora, on the other hand, has the rather unique ability to See The Past.
Her past life, that is. Snatches of it, flashing moments through a smoky veil, scenes that she remembers never having lived through. Before Nora became Nora, she was a drunk old man, wandering the streets, jumping on passers-by and demanding spare change, mangy cats nipping at his ankles.
It is indeed bizarre, Nora told me once. I was never him, but I do remember very clearly being him, at some point of my non-existence.
Sounds like a bucketload of non-sense to me, I told her.
I dont know his my name. But I do know that I had a scraggly grey beard. I wore a wool cap and I sashayed around singing Celestina Warbeck singing the Coventry Carol. I drank Firewhiskey from a broken bottle and I hated children. And then I died, penniless, on the streets.
That wasnt the end; apparently Nora was reincarnated after that. And in the process of reincarnation, her soul got spliced.
Half of that drunk old blokes soul was reborn as Nora. The other half of the drunk old blokes soul, however, was brought back as a princess of the faraway kingdom of Gotchump-Altruissia, which exists in Another Dimension inaccessible to everybody in this world, except Nora of course. So Nora sort of zones in and out, alternating between being herself and being her other self, i.e. a princess in the Other Dimension, running the kingdom of the Gotchump-Altruists.
Thats Nora: a spliced-soul Inter-Dimensionalist Politician and Multi-Tasker Extraordinaire. And a terrible cook.
On the morning of my twenty-seventh birthday, Nora marches into my flat, uninvited.
In her hands is a platter, and on the platter is a monstrosity. A melting hillock of brown and pink, crowned with drippy candles that smell of smouldering animal fat. I cant decide which smells worse: that, or the fog of my own morning breath.
Happy birthday, Joanna, she says, gravely, plopping the platter onto the foot of my bed. Are you ready to cut your cake and blow out your candles?
You mean that Anglo-Saxon burial mound?
Yes, that was my inspiration for the cake. Here. She thrusts a copy of todays Daily Prophet at me.
I dont read the paper.
Nora looks confused. Its meant to be a gesture of consolation, she explains.
Consolation for what?
Youre twenty-seven now. Youre going to die, Joanna. She thins her lips into a line and squints and gives me The Look, the very look that indicates that shes peering right into the depths of my soul to gauge my true emotions that Im supposedly always keeping under lock and key.
I hate The Look. Havent we talked about giving people The Look?
The cake is beginning to liquefy and ooze off the plate, staining chocolate onto my sheets. My eyelids are thick and cushiony from sleep and my hairs been mussed into a power cable nest. I reach for the Prophet. Might as well make one of us happy.
JAMES POTTER II TO DIVORCE SECOND WIFE, ELLIE ENDERBURY is the screaming headline at the top of the page.
A divorce is on the front page? I turn to Nora, whos now making my bed and straightening out the sheets, even with my arse still sitting on it. Shes strong, the girl.
The headlines are generally the most arresting part of the paper, she explains.
So the rest is drivel, then?
On the next page: IS THIS REALLY THE END OF JAMES AND ELLIE (JELLIE) POTTER? JAMES POTTER CONFIRMS HIS EARLIER CONFIRMATION OF DIVORCE.
Going meta, are we?
And the next page: DAY EIGHT OF THE ELEVEN-DAY INTERVIEW WITH JAMES POTTER II.
And the title of a smaller column near the bottom: ELDEST SON OF HARRY POTTER TO HIT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS ON AUGUST 31st.
Do you think it actually means hit, as in to pound or to whack? Because I dont really get why the paper would publish an article merely detailing this James Potters attendance at a pub.
Nora shakes my foot off my pillow and plumps it up and sets it neatly back down. When in doubt, always take the literal. Its an old saying that Councillor Tefombray of the High Council of Gotchump-Altruissia told me, once, when we were attending the feast of Saint Marchesta.
I cant deal with all that information, I tell her curtly. You know the rules with us, Nora; what happens in the other dimension stays in the other dimension.
She shrugs. If you so wish to remain ignorant.
Next page on the newspaper: LEGENDARY MYSTIC JAMES POTTER II DISCOVERS THE SECRET TO ONENESS WITH THE UNIVERSE.
Yep, the Prophet has clearly gone to seed.
Who on earth is this James Potter person? she wonders out loud.
Famous firstborn fuck-up of the family of Potters. I swing off my bed and reach for the crumpled pile of jeans. Fortune-teller sort of bloke. They say he can see the future and all. Real tosser.
I can see the past, Nora quips. My past, actually. And I was actually asking a rhetorical question. I know fully well who James Potter is; I remember him from school. He was the Divination genius.
Or fraud.
She gestures at the cake, which is becoming more and more misshapen with each passing moment. Make a wish.
Its your birthday, Jo.
Okay, well. I wish I wont have to die this year from the curse. I wish Im rich. I wish someone will reanimate the band One Dimension and they do one last epic gig so I can turn up and empty a vat of Wartcap powder on them when they sing We Want It Weird.
I blow all the twenty-plus candles out. By then, most of them have burnt to stubs, and the wax has formed hard pools on the surface of the shapeless cake that Nora had cooked up from whatever unholy oven she keeps. The smell of scorched lard festers in the air.
Happy twenty-seventh! Nora beams at me.
So its my birthday. I shove the plate of cake aside. Why am I up at this ungodly hour, then?
Surprise, surprise. We have a job to do, Joanna. She examines the wall mirror streaked with fingerprints. Your DNAs all over this thing.
I dont want to do a job. Its my birthday.
Old Butts will not appreciate your attitude.
Bernie Buttons is our BIG BOSS. And because hes such a BIG BOSS sort of bloke, we rarely have any direct dealings with him. But weve heard that hes there to make sure that the mercenary lot of us dont become too mercenary, and that basically, we never leave our jobs. Weve sold our souls to him, pretty much.
Besides, Nora continues, Lizzys already downstairs waiting for us.
No, he isnt.
Im afraid he is. I cant change this reality.
Theres little else for me to do except get dressed while Nora inspects my flat with her usual cool air of disapproval. I sneak her cake off my bed and into the bathroom, where I tip it down the toilet and flush, which results in the pipe getting blocked and the bowl filling up with water to the rim, brown and pink chunks of cake eddying round and round sluggishly. I reach for my toothpaste. The bathroom sink is completely carpeted by layers of green, orange and brown furry mould. Years of unhindered growth and a steady diet of toothpaste lather and gargled water and the other rinsings from my mouth has enabled the mould to flourish, evolve and become a sentient, telepathic being.
Good morning, Joanna, and happy birthday! The Mould ripples as I spit into the sink.
Shut up. I scowl at it.
Are you afraid of dying?
Go to hell.
No, you are going to hell.
Want me to bring in Nora and her Mould-Blaster spell arsenal?
The Mould goes silent. Score.
Later, Nora and I go downstairs and through the cramped backroom of a pub and then out into the pub itself. The pub is known as The Uxorious Horseshoe, and it sits right beneath our rooms. It didnt use to be a pub, the place below our rooms. It used to be the Carkett Close Apothecary, but then the owner turned twenty-seven and got run over by the Knight Bus. So with the apothecary done for, a crew of clowns crept in and made themselves right at home and opened up their own drinking establishment.
The Horseshoe is mostly empty at this hour, with the exception of me, Nora, a scruffy bloke sitting at the end of the counter, and Sleazy the Clown, who is on barkeep shift today. In total, there are seven of them who run the bar, including Sleazy clowns, I mean. Theres Sleazy, Squeezy, Sputnik, Sputum, Spitty, Spinoff, and Schizo.
Its Joannas birthday today, Nora announces to the mostly-bare pub.
Sleazy sniggers sleazily at me. Old lady.
Sleazy is wearing a orange and green synthetic jumpsuit with red polka dots. He has a neon red Ronald McDonald wig sitting on his head. His nose wears a clamp-on red clown nose. His face is coated with flaky white powder. His red painted mouth is smeared across his face in a sleazy grin.
Its Joannas twenty-seventh birthday, Nora presses.
The grubby bloke at the end of the carpet groans into his elbow and raises a hand at me. He looks like hes been sitting there a decade. Probably sprouted roots out of his arse and into the barstool.
I glare at Nora. You dont have to tell that to everyone.
Twenty-seven eh? Sleazy smirks sleazily. Drinks on the house then. Might as well fill yourself up while you still can, eh?
Thats a great
Not now, Sleazy. Joanna has a job to do. Nora beats me to it, her thin eyebrows shooting up so high theyre practically grazing her hairline.
Nora, I deadpan.
Jo. Shes unflinching.
Fine, fine. Tonight, then. Tonight Im opening the floodgates. If Im to die this year, then I must
Revel in the deepest cesspool of debauchery for as long as possible? Nora suggests. She shrugs. Tonight, the floodgates open, then. Now, we work.
Noras a despot with a soft spot somewhere deep among all her cardiac tissue. If she even has cardiac tissue, of course. I doubt shes fully human. I wonder how the Gotchump-Altruists are doing with her as their leader.
So, where the hell is Lizzy?
Right behind you, she answers.
Not falling for that.
And you just did, Mannering, comes a voice an inch away from my left ear. I draw my wand in a jiffy and spin round, the point jabbing hard into the chest of a very tall, skinny bloke in cheery sunflower yellow robes thats already giving me the start of a dazzling headache. The robe is pure happiness, which should have been outlawed long ago. In fact, this bloke is the very epitome of happiness. Hes smiling too widely and too innocently, and his teeth are nicely brushed and well-shaped, and theres a sickening earnestness in the clear blue of his eyes.
That is, until he opens his mouth and starts to speak. There are monsters in the crevices between his teeth, I swear. And hidden glands dripping venom onto his words.
Mannering! Lizzy exclaims in mock shock. "Is this a Fright Night morning after for you?"
I retract my wand and throw him a dirty look. Its as good as his fault that Im down here at this absurd hour of the morning, waiting to do some messed-up job on my very last birthday in this world.
Lysander Lizzy Scamander is the person who kind of deals with the logistics of our job: the planning, the equipment, the what-goes-where, the who-says-what, the how-the-crap-do-we-even-manage this. Nora and I are pretty much the field personnel, the dirty workers, the bottom feeders. I honestly dont care about climbing up the ambition ladder, and Nora is far too busy zapping between dimensions, so that leaves Lizzy, the Opportunist, whos one up above me and Nora.
Hes also our Vessel for Higher Instructions. Its Lizzy who gets the orders from Bernie Buttons, our BIG BOSS, who purportedly gets his orders from someone above him, who gets their orders from someone above them, and so on and so forth, ad infinitum.
So whos right on top, then? The BIGGEST of the BOSSES? The one who can flip a switch and potentially make us all either filthy rich or make us drop dead from Kneazle rabies?
There are rumours, whispers, which steal down the chain of command. Some say its God. Others believe that its a goblin of Gringotts.
Either makes sense. Neither makes a difference. So we just do what we do, anyway.
I heard its your birthday, Lizzy says casually as he slides into a seat at the counter.
So it is, I shrug.
And youre a Cark.
So I am.
So that means
So it does.
So brave, Jo. I could never be like you, Lizzy sighs and slumps over the counter. Youre such a Stoic, you know that.
Sleazy the Clown sidles over, dragging his creepy gloved hands along the counter. Firewhiskey, says Lizzy, but Nora glares at Sleazy, pretty much spitting. I think not.
Coffee, then, Lizzy sighs, and Sleazy looks outraged. Noras raised eyebrow silences any clownish protest he might raise.
What are we doing today, Lizzy? Nora asks.
Ill explain on the road. He takes a swig of the black oily coffee from the chipped mug and Nora and I exchange a grin and eyebrow flash. Lizzys cheeks bulge and contort and squeeze like dough, the mouthful of liquid swirling about within, unswallowable. The coffee at the Horseshoe tastes like piss. The clowns probably keep their machine in the loo. Lizzy gives up and spits the coffee back into the half-full mug and thrusts it across the counter back to a glaring Sleazy.
Put it on my tab. He turns to us. You sugar-loafers ready or what?
I am! cries a hoarse voice from the end of the counter. Its the unshaven, dirty bloke. He raises his hand bolt upright in the air, before falling off his stool and onto the floor, facedown, where he promptly begins snoring into the lino.
Not again, snarls Sleazy, picking up his broom and making his way round the counter before proceeding to sweep the sleeping bloke toward the door. Out, Creevey!
We leave Sleazy behind, muttering murder and cursing humankind to the end of eternity, and go out into Carkett Close.
First day of the end of my life.
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