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urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe Ninjababe's Ramble This LJ is not recommended for internal use, implantation, or branding Ninjababe 2014-05-30T02:11:41Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:234771 ninjababe @ 2014-05-29T20:08:00 2014-05-30T02:08:29Z 2014-05-30T02:11:41Z

So much for a post a day...

And, I don't really feel like posting today, as I just found out that one of my first 'net friends has died...

Otterly Evil</lj>, aka eviltammy, (otterevil on LJ) aka Tammy Williams died on April 22nd, 2014. I just found out today.

http://m.legacy.com/obituaries/spartanburg/obituary.aspx?n=tamatha-renee-williams&pid=170818510&referrer=0&preview=True" This is all the information available at the moment.

 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:234655 It Begins... 2014-05-28T03:12:12Z 2014-05-28T03:12:12Z The winds do not cool, but only move hot air.

The tumbleweeds skitter across the roads.

The sun beats down mercilessly from a cloudless sky.

Heat radiates from everywhere, even the ground.

You can almost hear the theme music from a Clint Eastwood western sitting in the oppressive air.

Summer is coming...

:-D

It reached 100°F today.

Yes, it's summer in Southern Utah.

Air conditioning is my friend! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:234331 I'm counting it... 2014-05-27T06:42:10Z 2014-05-27T06:42:10Z

It may be after midnight here, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so I'm counting this as my daily post for May 26th 2014.

I didn't watch Sailor Moon today. I spent the day playing Millennium: A New Hope. It's a game in the style of an 90s RPG about a teenage girl's quest to help the countryside by winning the election of the capital city through 13 trials of unarmed combat. It's the first in a five part series. It's fun. It features a female protagonist joined by her whiny cousin who practices martial arts, a woman crocodile hunter, and a warrior monk.

Along the way, you meet interesting things. Most of which, you kill. :-D

There aren't many dungeons, really. But each one is huge and multi - tiered. Until certain events in the story line, you can't reach areas of the dungeons...

I liked it enough that I'll buy the rest of the series... Someday.
 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:234235 Sailor Moon episode 2 2014-05-26T01:49:28Z 2014-05-26T01:49:28Z Note: I'm not going to be talking about nothing but Sailor Moon here... I'm just catching up. There are currently four episodes up, with the fifth and sixth slated to drop tomorrow...

Season 1, Episode 2: Punish Them! The House of Fortune is the Monster Mansion

This episode wasn't available (legally) in the US before this month according to Viz Media, who has the current rights. Probably because of the scene where Umino flipped up Ms. Haruna's skirt...

I had actually forgotten about Umino's crush on Usagi. And, Usagi's never-ending crush on Motoki.

How could I have forgotten that?

Usagi using her shoe as a 'coin' to decide if she should go to the fortune teller was cute. And, Mamoru getting hit in the head with it. :-)

The fight music at the end sounds like the MacGyver theme song. Now I have the image of him in a fuku. Make it stop!

There were places in the episode that I giggled muchly, but was too involved in watching to write it down... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:233930 Sailor Moon! 2014-05-25T04:34:29Z 2014-05-25T04:34:29Z So, I learned recently that Viz Media has gained the rights to Sailor Moon. Why is this cool? A) I adore Sailor Moon. B) Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are no longer cousins, but lovers as in the original Japanese version. And, this time, they're using the original names. So I don't have to remember that Serena is Usagi, and Darien is Mamoru, etc. C) It's subbed, so I can hear the original voices. I prefer subtitles when possible (except for one YuYu Hakusho movie that the dubbed voice of Hiei... Le Rrowr!!!)

Anyway, I decided to write notes while I watch.

I've seen probably about ¾th of the series, on the American dubbed version. So, I know basically what's going on. But, it's been about two decades, so it's new and shiny!

Season 1 Episode 1: Crybaby Usagi's Magnificent Transformation

This is awesome!

I'd forgotten that the first episode was the jewelry store. For some reason, I thought it happened later...

And, this is why you always lose, Jedite. You get greedy and end up drawing the attention of the Sailor Scouts. Who ends up kicking your monster's ass and you lose it all. No wonder Queen Beryl keeps yelling at you!

I found it interesting that Luna used the -chan suffix when she first talked to Usagi. Granted, Usagi is 14 and Luna is older, but I found it a bit too familiar.

Crying as a superpower (this is how Sailor Moon knocked out the zombie-women in the jewelry store)... Only Usagi! And, if I remember correctly (Granted, it's been awhile), this is the only time her hair jewels transmit her crying to knock the bad guys out.

And, that's what I wrote for episode 1.

It was hard to write, because I was in my car, at lunch, my phone resting against the steering wheel as I watched. It didn't make taking notes easy...

(note to self - make a Sailor Moon icon) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:233679 Oops 2014-05-25T04:19:05Z 2014-05-25T04:19:05Z So... Um... Hi.

Yeah, I haven't posted here in awhile.

Let's change that.

I'm going to try and post something every day. Even if it's nothing but a sentence.

This doesn't count.

Let's get it started! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:233419 Thinky Thoughts about Once Upon a Time 10/27/13 2013-10-28T05:29:57Z 2013-10-28T05:29:57Z This has spoilers for the episode Good Form, which aired on 10/27/13 in the US.

It also has a spoiler for the title of next week's episode...

This is a bit disjointed as I just finished the episode, and... Feels!!

1 - Hook's back story... Damn, they know how to give emotional punches! Hook was a honest, decent man. Who's king brought his family to ruin. Can I hug him? Please?

2 - Peter Pan at the end of episode... I think he miscalculated. Yes, Hook wants a relationship with Emma. But, he sees Baelfire/Neal as a son. I think Peter won't like what happens... If the writers decide *not* to go for the obvious "I'm going to keep this secret to have a great lovelife (Bow Chicka Wow Wow) until he pops up and, um... oops!"

3 - Who the hell is in the other cage???

Oh wait! The next episode is titled Ariel... Is she in the cage?

I saw the title of the episode, and thought "Finally!!" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:233177 Thoughts on Iron Man 3 2013-05-14T03:08:55Z 2013-05-14T03:08:55Z So, now I've seen Iron Man 3 four times, I have some points to make...

I wrote notes during viewing three and four...

01) I like how Tony is using old suits to travel around in. 'Have to go to visit Rhodey at a bar? Just pull out an old suit.' And, it's happened before, because Rhodey didn't make any comment about him being in the suit.

02) Killian makes the comment, "You don't answer to Tony." during his pitch to Pepper. Umm... actually, yes she does. He may not be CEO, but I'm pretty sure he's still the major stockholder of the company...

03) I love the whole Date Night scene. Pepper walking downstairs, sees Tony, goes off... Not because he met her in the living room with a remote controlled suit, but because he ate without her. Pepper really knows Tony, and doesn't try to change him.

04) Tony's address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. Which, according to map quest, doesn't exist. I didn't think it did...

05) I found Pepper in the suit to be interesting. The fact that she could control the suit (faceplate, hand repulsor (sort of)) means to me she's been in one before. Which makes me think Tony cajoled her into it. "Just in case! Come on! Just a few times so you get the feel for it!"

06) JARVIS rescuing Tony from the sea... "Take a deep breath, sir." So awesome.

07) Tony looks like Bobby from Supernatural when in that small town in Tennessee...

08) For anyone who needs it... Some dates... The movie started in 1999. In his pitch to Pepper, Killian said he tried to get Tony to come on board with AIM 13 years ago. So, this movie took place at Christmas, 2012. Extremis started in 2009 per the time stamp on the videos Tony watched in the news van. Tony was 14 in 1983 from the tag. Which means, he's 43 in this movie.

09) I think blowing the suits was a good thing for Tony. He was getting in a rut with them... Everything was the suits... If the suit didn't work, he was 'dead in the water'. Until Harley went 'build something!'. Then, as ithildyn said, "Tony built this from a box of scraps in a motel room in Tennessee!"

10) BAMF!Tony is awesome!!! But, he never used the water bottles with the putty/grout injectors full of colored liquid. I wonder if that'll be in an extended scene?

11) So... are the extremis agents wearing special heat resistant clothes? Considering they heat up to massive amounts of heat, yet their clothes don't catch on fire? ithildyn says they must use the same tailor as the Hulk and his magic pants. I know... I know... It's comic book logic.

12) Just an FYI: Injecting 1200 cc's of pretty much anything will kill you. The max injection a human can take at once is 3 cc's (from what I've been told by pharmacists at work).

13) I've already mentioned the necklace.

There's probably more, but that'll will have to wait until the next viewing... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:232813 Iron Man 3... 2013-05-07T05:52:35Z 2013-05-07T05:52:35Z So... Hi! Long time, no see...

Anyway... I've seen Iron Man 3 three times now, and I want to go again.

One of the things that jumps out at me?

Well, look under the cut...

I want to talk about Pepper's ruby necklace at the end of the film.

After Tony gets rid of his arc reactor.

It took three viewings, but I noticed...

The necklace? It's made from the shrapnel from his heart!

He literally gave his heart to Pepper...

See? (Sorry for the grainy photo, best picture I could find)

The links? See? Shrapnel that's been buffed on the edges to not be sharp.

I think that's one of the most romantic things... ever! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:232509 My thoughts on Mass Effect 3 2013-02-21T17:25:24Z 2013-02-21T17:25:24Z As I said in my last post, I came into this trilogy pretty much unspoiled. So, when I went into the last Mass Effect game, I only knew about this world was what happened in the last two games of the trilogy.

Again, I kept being female, and an infiltrator. I decided to stay with what I knew. (I typed this line, then went to reread my thoughts on Mass Effect 2. I wrote almost the exact same line! Wow...)

I found some notes from Mass Effect 2 that I forgot to add... So, I'll just work them in here, since all but one is valid for 3 as well.

Hey, Mass Effect 3 has a play setting below casual, 'narrative'. Hmm... I ended up playing on narrative, and it worked for me. There were times when I thought 'Stop it already! Enough bad guys!'.

I just love the eyelashes in this game. Very nice... And, they made crying look realistic.

The kid in the prologue? Bastards (developers) made me cry! Then, playing the game... What? Was he a figment of my imagination? Was he 'beaming' his image to my subconscious through the game?

Joker & EDI... I squeed. It's so cute. I just hope it stays cute. I made sure it did end up that way. More on that later.

So, the argument between the Human customer and Turian merchant from the first game? It continued through all three games. I liked that! I finally got the merchant to just give him the credits... Only to find out that the guy was fighting for 3 plus years game time for 10 or 25 credits. Can't remember exact amount, but get a life!!

 I thought I had a bug for the Hanar ambassador quest, so was looking for information. Saw end of quest walkthrough. Events in previous games really do have concequences! If Kasumi had died, or I didn't get her loyalty, I would've had to choose between Spectre force or Hanar & Drell force. Because I did, I get both. Awesome. Turns out it was a good thing I did all the loyalty quests in ME2. Because, all of them are here, and willing to follow me! Yay!

Kaidan and I in the hospital: "Ok, dude. You left me. You wanted nothing to do with me. Granted, I was with a secret, terrorist organization. But, I saved people! Destroyed the collectors at the same time. And, kept my morals, thankyouverymuch! You left me! So, yes, I fell for someone else, even though I still love you. I grieved. Then, I sexed up Jacob O:-). But, thanks for forgiving me for that. I guess I'll forgive you for leaving me." Fine. Okay. All is well in McShep and Kaidan land. Mostly because I want her to be happy in the end.

It's a good thing I made up with Kaiden, since Jacob moved on. "Oh, you're in love with someone else? Why is this my life?? She's pregnant? Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm okay with it. You have my blessing."

Oh... McShep... Somehow, her name in my head developed into McShep. Mostly because everyone in the games calls her Shepard, I've been watching too much Grey's Anatomy, and I've been reading Bioware According to Mom. That's an awesome site, by the way. I would read until I got to the section I haven't played yet, then go back to my game.

Wrex! YES! Hi Wrex! I love the Krogan. I wanted to headbutt the Dalatrass when she wanted me to sabotage the cure. She was lucky she wasn't talking to me in person.

Okay, I love the female Krogan. Cool outfit, and I like how she's planning on making the females more than traded commodities after the war. Go girl!

Goodbye Mordin. I would've loved to see your findings about seashells. [sniff]

Ok... I know I've been playing these games at least half without sound, but why does Udina suddenly sound Irish?

No! Charr! No! -sniff- I ended up saving the Rachni queen... Again... This was a time I went to a walkthrough. I'm sorry Grunt. Saving the queen gives me a higher positive for my war. But, congrats! You survived! Welcome to the sole survivor club! :) (My background was space-raised, sole survivor)

Leviathan: Hackett wants me to help another scientist? The last one went so well! Oh, look. There's a reaper artifact. Damn it, Hackett!

LOL! Edi's reply about the Basilisk in Galaxy of Fantasy video game. I wasn't believing what I was reading.

Leviathan was interesting background on the reapers.

I free the Citadel from Cerberus. HAH! I knew Udina was a rat! I killed him btw. One of the few times I take the renegade option. After I free the Citadel, I suddenly have pages of missions! Planet scanning, here I come.

Why do I buy medi-gel increases? I'm playing at narrative level. I don't need them. I've yet to use a medi-gel on my team. But, it's a knee-jerk reaction. Got to have the upgrade! I went through the whole game, never once using medi-gel.

Just finished a major mission. Time to wander my ship and make sure the crew is well. And, see if any quests need to be done... I just noticed. I can't enter the men's bathroom! Hey! This is my ship!

It wasn't until the convo started over again, but the human and salarian talking in front of Purgatory? She sold her car (her baby) to get him better armour. Wow... Then, during the next go around, I find a bit I missed the first time. I figured it out without it, but I like how they played that.

So, I went back to the commons on the Citadel to make sure there wasn't other missions I needed to pick up. I decide to click on the Blasto 6 movie poster, because it was so funny. It didn't repeat the same thing! It gives pretty much the whole movie! I love it!!

Geth vs Quarian... Again, I did Legion's loyalty quest in ME2. Oh, oops... It turned all the Geth into Reaper followers. Oops.

So, let's go solve this.

I get through the whole thing, and without realizing it, ended up making the Geth stronger and killing the Quarians! NO! I can't let that happen!

So, I redid the end of that mission. The Geth and Quarians are at peace now. Booyah!

Sanctuary. Yeah, things called Hope, Sanctuary, Peace, etc, in games? Never are. Was scared to go. Yeah, I was right. Damn Cerberus. How many people did you slaughter? Assholes.

I don't like those names in games so much, that when I went scanning planets for war assets, I was scared of what I would find in the Utopia system. Ended up being nothing special. -whew-

I didn't mention it, but I do have the From Ashes DLC. I went to Eden Prime, got Jarvik, and left him in his room on the ship. I found him pretty annoying for the most part. Yes, we were apes, and frogs, etc. Yes, we learned how to write... Yes, I know your civilization is gone, I know you're the only living being of your race. Try not to be condescending to the people who got you out of your pod and let you be the epitome of vengeance.

I know from my standpoint, he has reasons upon reasons for his point of view and mannerisms. But, he really annoyed McShep. :)

I think the Grissom Academy was my favorite mission of this game. Just to see Jack as a role model. Oh, the kids? I made them support. I couldn't put them on the front line. I just couldn't...

Just blew up the Cerberus main base, and doing my usual run through the ship to talk to the crew before we head to Earth. Oops! Forgot about Garrus! And, hey, where's Tali? Then, I find them. Bwahahahahahahaha! Their excuses for why they were in a semi-compromising situation. Then, Tali's statement that she's just using Garrus for his body! LOL

I ended up going for the Synthesis option for an ending. The Catalyst tells me that all the endings ended up with Shepard dead (Boo! She deserves to be happy!), but I thought Synthesis was the best ending. If I couldn't be happy, I could at least make EDI and Joker happy. And, I didn't want to be responsible for the death of the Geth race!

Then, I went to a walkthrough. It was possible for me and Anderson to live? If my effective military strength was high enough? Okay... let's see...

So, I redid the game from my last save point (Right before the 'protect the missiles in London). Turns out that most battles, on narrative at least, you can just run through. They don't follow you to the next battle site! So, I ran forward to the missile location, mopped up, armed them, fired, mopped up again, fired the second set, and went for the Citadel.

And found out that if I wanted Anderson to live, I had to pick either paragon or renegade options when dealing with the Illusive Man through the whole game. Sigh. I think I gave that up half way through the game. I had decided he was a believer, and I couldn't get through to him. Sorry, Anderson.

And, then, my EMS wasn't high enough. So, I quit the game before the ending finished.

I'm declaring Synthesis as my ending of this game. At lease EDI is happy. [pout]

If events in this game effect the next Mass Effect game, I may go through is again with a walkthrough the whole way so I can get the ending I want for the next game. But, if not, that's my ending.

I'm sorry McShep. Save a drink in Heaven's bar for the love of your life (Kaiden), you're sisters (Liara, Tali, and EDI), your big brother (Garrus), and all your friends...

Total Time: 52 hours. Never reached level of saturation. Wow... That doesn't happen often! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:232220 And, here's my thoughts on Mass Effect 2 2013-02-19T17:42:08Z 2013-02-19T17:42:08Z The post on Mass Effect 3 won't be up until I finish playing that game.

As I said in my last post, I came into this trilogy pretty much unspoiled. So, when I went into Mass Effect 2, all I knew about this world was what happened in Mass Effect.

I am currently halfway (I hope) through mass Effect 3. So, watch spoilers for that. Why 'I hope'? Because, I'm at 40 hours! Nice, big game.

Again, I'm playing a female infiltrator. Decided to stick with what I know.

And, again, hardly ever used powers. There was a few times I used tactical cloak, but mostly it was my sniper rifle I used.

I used Jack and Kasumi almost through the whole game once I got them...

After a few hours of fiddling with the game, and reinstalling, I get to play. Turns out you can't use the config program for ME2 to install the save file from ME1 on Windows 7. The game just won't open. I tested it out on my 'weekend' computer (Windows XP), and the install worked fine for the thirty minutes of the prologue I played. So, after fiddling with things, a reinstall, and re-downloading of all my DLC, I get to get back into the game.

Who blew up my ship?! Joker! No, I can't lose Joker!!!!!

My ship blew up.

Oh, I died too... But, since I already spent the time to make sure the character imported correctly, I'm pretty sure I'll get out of dying. They blew up my ship!

I know I said I try not to like people in the prologue, but I like Jacob. A bit too much it turns out...

 I don't know if I like how space travel changed. I liked the 'point and click' method of ME1... I'll have to see if I like it in a few hours when I've worked with it more. I ended up getting used to it and it's now second nature... At least fuel prices didn't go up during the game.

Hacking... I love it yet hate it. I like the idea of it, but I keep missing the exact location of my cursor and ending up in a red zone.

Keymapping between this and Mass Effect. Wow did they get rid of a lot of keys! Thank you!

Last game, I blew up what looked to be a major Cerberus operation. Now, I'm working for them? Huh... Not good in my head.

I haven't watched West Wing in years, but every time I talked to the Illusive Man, I wanted to say, "Hi Mr President!". Oh and Illusive Man? I see what you did there... It's Cigarette Smoking Man from XFiles... just, in charge instead of being 'middle management'.

Horizon, and seeing Kaiden. In my head it went like this: Kaiden!!! Hi, honey! What? Yes, I'm alive and sorta with Cerberus. What? You don't know me anymore? Well, crap. I'm not going to cry. Give me something to kill.

My Shepard doesn't let people know she's in emotional pain. "Hey, how's Shepard feeling?" "Well, she just blew up a geth battalion by herself." "Well, crap. We better stay out of her way."

On Illium, LOL! a Hanar as Dirty Harry! "Enkindle This!" I giggled and giggled over this.

Charr's Poetry!! A Krogan poet! And, it's corny, but I like it! So, of course, I had to convince his Asari love to take him back. Then, when I met them on Tuchanka... Awwww!!!

Oh, yay. Conrad's back. I was my usual paragon self (I usually go for the 'good' choice. It makes my life easier in the long run if we all get along and sing songs wearing daisy chains. LOL! Image of a Krogan with a daisy chain headband!). So, by the end of that Conrad is off creating a charity. Good for him. Just get out of that fake armour!

Picked up a sniper rifle that has 4 shots a clip. I said, and I quote, "Oh, I love you baby!"

The shuttle? Looks like a backwards running Giddyup Buttercup from Mothership Zeta, the Fallout 3 DLC. So, yeah, it freaks me out.

On Tuchanka, I forgot that Krogan like renegade choices. Oops. Luckily, I remembered after first question.

LOL! Shepard headbutted Michael Dorn! Well, Dorn was the voice actor of the character. Hmm... Renegade is fun... May have to try it for a playthrough sometime.

Saturation level of ME2: 31 hours compared to ME, not bad... but, we'll have to see how long it takes ratio wise.

 I get 35 hours into a game, *then* a vehicle is introduced? Granted, I would've found it earlier if I had gone on that mission... Cool vehicle, but I miss the 'ability' to barrel roll the Mako tank :-)

Firewalker missions (DLC?): You want a piece of me? Well you can't have it! I'm shooting at you from far away outside of sensor range Thank goodness for unlimited ammo! Thank you game developers for the excellent vehicle coverage from enemy fire on this mission. I just jump the vehicle & shoot.

I enjoyed almost all of the loyalty missions. I thought Kasumi's was the most fun. I didn't have to shoot my way in and out. I got to take part in a heist.

Even though, every time I talked to Kasumi and she mentioned it was too bad Jacob and I didn't work out, I freaked a bit. I decided Shepard's heart was broken by Kaiden, so she went after Jacob. Either it was a glitch, or Kasumi was being evil.

Shadowbroker DLC: Okay pause on saving the universe. I'm off hunting an information broker. Maybe I'll get a new dress out of it... Something not sleeveless.

Why is a Spectre here where I'm searching for friend? Don't walk away! Fine. I'll probably have to kill you later

Wow kitchens haven't come a long way between now and 2185 even with alien influences And why does an Asari have a human kitchen?

Hah! I knew I'd end up killing her. Galactic secret agent became bad guy. Let me warm up my trusty sniper rifle...

What!? Now I have to drive a sky taxi? Vehicles in games and I don't mix! Let's see how many times I crash...

"What type of guns does this thing have?" "It's a taxi. It has a fare meter." LOL!

"Truck! Truck! There's a truck!" "Calm down, I see it." "You're enjoying this!" Yes, I was. Fun! Yes, I was driving. :-)

I picked up Legion. Wonder how much screaming I could induce by going to the Citadel? O:-) Ends up, not a thing happens. No screaming, no running... It was sad.

Why can't my character romance Joker? At least he stayed with me through 2 games, and will probably be with me in the third. Oh, Shepard isn't bitter, oh no...

I'm glad I did Jack's loyalty mission so I could give her a different outfit... It was distracting.

Overlord DLC: "This facility contains hostile AI. You assume all risk of personal injury or death." It made me grin, since I'll be doing the injury!

Huh... I learned in Portal to shoot cameras off the walls. I just discovered I'm automatically doing that in Overlord.

 Last night, was playing this with no sound. Today, have earphones. The music and sound effects of this base is creeping me out! It was all creepy going into the base Full of creaks and turned off geth. Oh look. Overriding the lockdown I need turns them on. Yay.

End of Overlord... My mouth dropped in horror over David.

Bioware: Jerking our heart strings in so many ways from yesterdays until tomorrow.

Arrival DLC: You want to blow up a star system, act suspicious when I demand proof why it's necessary, then tell me to sit back and relax? Um, no. And, oh look! I have a chance to stock up on ammo. Not suspicious at all.

Why are fights in DLC so much harder than the game itself? Bah.

I was able to get all the minions (Yes, they're my minions), I romanced Jacob (only half rebound, I think), and did all the loyalty missions. Even if that was the only time I used that character in the game.

I do have to admit that this game, I did peek at the wiki a few times. I looked up the worlds rich in eezo for mining. And, I did read a bit about the suicide mission because I wanted to all of them to live. They all did.

Mining! Oh... I'm fifty fifty on that... On one hand, I get the materials I need for upgrades. On the other, I have to buy probes. I want to keep my money, darn it!

Of course, there are more things in the game that I loved/hated/etc, but I didn't write them down... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:231948 It's been... umm... yeah... 2013-02-19T17:08:12Z 2013-02-19T17:08:12Z So, it's been awhile.

Hi.

[ignores crickets chirping]

I've been off playing Mass Effect Trilogy, which I got for my birthday a few months ago.

I came into this trilogy pretty much unspoiled.

I knew the main character was named Shepard, and it's a space odyssey type game.

Oh! And there's a vehicle that made people rage quit the first game.

And, since I was taking notes for something else, I thought I'd share them!

I am gamer, hear me roar! :)

So, there is spoilers under the cut for Mass Effect. I'm going to do Mass Effect 2 and 3 in a separate post.

I am currently halfway (I hope) through mass Effect 3. So, watch spoilers for that. Why 'I hope'? Because, I'm at 40 hours! Nice, big game.

I'm going to try and keep all thoughts in Mass Effect. I know what happens here effects Mass Effect 2, and even Mass Effect 3. But, trying to keep those games out of this post. They'll get their own post.

I'm playing a female infiltrator. I always play female if it's allowed, and infiltrator just seems to be my sort of player.

However, I've noticed that I just don't use powers. I use the ammo powers, but nothing else much. I got myself the sniper rifles talent as soon as possible. When it comes to modern or futuristic games, I love sniper rifles.

Bizarrely enough, in fantasy settings, I just can't make a bow and arrow work. I've tried. Oh, how I've tried. Maybe because I need the sniper scope to work it.

It may be anachronistic, but someone make me a sniper scope for my bows in Skyrim. Make it happen! :)

My way of fighting a battle is to stay in cover as far back, with a sniper rifle, and just use that while the other two members of my party run around and do their thing. It works pretty well. I carried that battle style, for the most part, through all three games. I adore the cover concept. And, how easy to use it is.

And, for Mass Effect, once I got them, I wandered around with Garrus and Wrex as much as possible. I like Garrus's style, and I developed a soft spot for the Krogan. Helps that Wrex is the epitome of a tank in RPGs...

Ok, into the game. Most of this is bullet points I jotted down while playing. So, I'll expand on them if I can... Also, I'll try to give place names for the locations I had the thoughts on... But, sometimes, I can't tell. I went to a lot of planets!

I love the dialogue wheel. I'm less likely to press a wrong button on a wheel then a list. Just the way my brain works.

Prologue

Don't turn away from Saren! Never turn your back on the 'friend' who shows up randomly! Bad! Bad!

See? Told you.

But, I've come to assume all the characters in the prologue will die. So, I try not to grow attached to someone unless they survive the prologue.

Citadel

 I find it strange that bodies vaporize so quickly. And, I just automatically get the stuff from the dead. Then again, no need to loot is awesome.

Oh, my! They put Battlestar Galactica (The Quarians) in the game! Awesome!

 I'm looking at shops, and I so need more money. They want 30000 for something! And me? I have 350... Upgrade are expensive! Hopefully, stuff I find in battle will be better. That's what I'm going to tell myself.

Quasar = Blackjack without cards. Ooo! I love Blackjack. And, I appreciate the fact that they put a sub-game to in this that doesn't require a long list of semi-confusing rules. (Yes, Final Fantasy games, I'm looking at you.) However, it just isn't a good money maker for me. I need 30000 just for one item. 200 a hand? Pfft... It'll never happen.

The generic yell of 'enemies are everywhere!' can stop now. Please.

I really like the Elcor race. I find them interesting to chat to.

The elevators have elevator music! LOL!

Huh... I didn't realize I had DLC in this game until I went looking for how to do something. Huh. It's Bring Down the Sky. Which, I'm tempted to just leave Terra Nova to it's fate. I hate vehicle battles. Which I have a feeling is going to happen quite a bit in this game. In vehicles, I swerve so much, I get fed up, 'lock' on a location, stop, and shoot. Yeah, doesn't work with this game. That's what I get for going off and playing some side quests before pushing on with the main mission.

Does this mean Terra Nova was in a time vacuum? Because, there's a 4 hour countdown on the asteroid. Which didn't start until I got there. Or, were the bad guys thinking 'Lets just wait until... Ah, there's an Alliance cruiser. Start the flares up for real!' Later: Yes, it is in a time vacuum. I gave up, left, came back about twenty hours later in gameplay time... it's still at the beginning of the 4 hour countdown. I've gotten better at driving. My mode of driving the Mako: Go forward enough that the enemies are in the sights, fire the cannon, back up and find cover when mako's life is low. I still hate Thresher Maws though.

Find Liara T'Soni mission: I'm on Therum, and my first thought? Oh, look... Lava! As if my driving isn't bad enough. Of course, it got better when I remembered the idea of cover. Oh, and the fact that I can get out of the Mako! Which took me so long to figure out since they don't list that in the manual or keymapping that I saw. Had to end up pressing every key on the keyboard until I figured it out.

Okay, I think I'm getting the hang of the whole driving thing. I love my cannon, yes, I do.

I just wrote this on my whiteboard: I <3 Sniper Rifles!!!! I use whiteboards when gaming so I don't waste paper with all my notes, and the keys I always forget.

I love how the dialogue choices aren't what Shepard really says. Made up example: You choose "It's Okay" off the dialogue wheel, Shepard says "Buck up, soldier!"

The Asari view of 'pure bloods'. Now, that's an interesting twist. And, yes, I'm thinking Harry Potter when it's mentioned.

An Elcor as Hamlet! Yes! I'd pay to see that!

I love the space travel and exploration of planets bit. It's very soothing, and I have to survey every planet I can... (In Mass Effect. More on planet exploration in the next two games)

I'm enjoying the ongoing fight between the Human customer and the Turian merchant in the upper market on the Citadel. Almost every time I run through there, I get a new section of their fight. I'm just waiting for one or the other to start a firefight...

If I had played this before Dragon Age: Origins, I wouldn't be so 'eh' about the relationships between Shepard and other members of my crew. But, since I have, it's letting me down. It does let me see the progression Bioware has for relationships though. And, look, I'm starting to believe you can be ninja-manced in any Bioware game...

At 20 hours, I met my 'saturation point'. When I play games, I play for hours at a time (Today, I played six hour so far). And, I can't stop. I play and play and play and play. Then comes the point where I've played so much, I'm all 'eh'. I still want to play, but I keep getting distracted by other things. I have to finish this game to go to Mass Effect 2, so onward!

20+ hours in

And, I just got a concequence to an action that I didn't like. I just helped the Doctor in the Citadel with her little blackmail problem, and followed the clues. So, Adimral Kahuku knows more about Banes? Well, let's go looking for him. Can't find him. Can't find him. Searched the Citadel, he isn't even hiding in Chora's Den. So, I search for him in a walkthrough. Oh, that's right. I found his corpse during a Cerubus mission. But, that's the reason for the missing marines mission. Did I miss something? I completed the Cerberus missions, but I don't remember Banes anywhere. Did I kill him without noticing? Or, was he a plot point that isn't resolved in this game? I figured it out (I'm sure I either killed him during the Cerberus missions, or he's holed up in a crevice on a little moon...) At the end of the Cerberus missions, I thought they were a mostly evil organization, and was glad I stopped their plans in the galaxy...

After driving the Mako around for awhile, I suddenly had this thought, which is now my head canon: "Commander Shepard: The craziest, most reckless Mako driver in the Fifth Fleet, maybe beyond. It's like being in a starship at full speed, helmed by a four year old. Actually... I'd feel safer with the four year old."

Just finished Vimire. And, I find that I'm a little sad that Ashley died, but, nothing like the usual "NO! THEY CAN'T DIE!" vibe I get from other games... Huh... Hopefully, I'll care more for Mass Effect 2 and 3...

And, personally, I'm sad to say that the reason I let Ashley die is because I'm romancing Kaiden... Yeah... I'm a bad person.

Every time I leave a planet bound building, I have a fear that my Mako had been stolen. For a second, I think it's gone. Then, I see it, and I sigh in relief. "Mako-jack. For your peace of mind!"

I've been thinking off and on about the dynamic of a human Spectre. On one hand, I'm a Spectre. Laws don't affect me. On the other, I'm human. I still have to follow human laws and protocol. So, according to the galaxy, I can do basically what I want, 'for the greater good'. Destroy a colony? Sure, as long as it ends up saving more lives than were killed. On the other hand, to humans. Destroy a colony? You better have a damn, damn good reason for it!

Oh, reminds me, I do have all the major DLC for the games... In case you were wondering.

Noveria Eh, another mission, another base... Then, I met Han Olar. His story? Made me tear up! The poor Volus!

I have this written, but since I've been talking and arguing with Udina through Mass Effect 2 and 3, I can't remember exactly what it was: Citadel after lockdown. Udina, you Rat Bastard!!

Oh, I remember now. He tried to take away my ship. You'll pay for that. Oh, yes, you will.

Ok... Bioware is known for reuse of sets. Which I can understand, it saves compiling time on the game. In the Dragon Age series, it started to wear. Dragon Age Origins, not a whole lot until the last fourth of the game. Dragon Age II, I got tired of the sets real quick.

However, in Mass Effect, it was realistic. I think it's the whole 'organic' vs 'non-organic'. In an organic setting, things grow bit by bit. A house here, a wall there, etc. However, in the Mass Effect world, ships and space stations are built to a set standard. So, the ships I boarded were all the same shape, because they were built the same. So, the reuse of sets never grated on me.

Total time: 35 hours

In the end, I let the Council die. Only a little bit because they kept pissing me off....

And, I made Anderson the human Councilor. That decision because I thought Udina was a worm, and he tried to take away my ship.

On to my Mass Effect 2 post... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:231719 Downton Abbey Christmas Special 2012 2013-01-21T05:25:55Z 2013-01-21T05:25:55Z So, I'm about to talk about the Downton Abbey Christmas Special for 2012...

What does that mean?

It means, if you're watching Downton Abbey, the US version, you haven't seen this episode. Since 3rd season started tonight in the US, the Christmas Episode is at the end of that season...

It's a happy, go lucky episode.

La la la...

We're happy, mostly...

Tra la la...

Ooo! The baby's coming...

Yay!

Baby!

Easy birth!

Baby and mother are fine!

Yay!

It's a boy!

Double yay!

Everyone is happy that there is a heir to the heir.

Then...

What is this?

No.... no... nononono...

Suddenly, Matthew is driving a car.

Huh?

No, I've seen too many soap operas for this.

Stop driving the damn car! Pull over! Pull over!

Yeah... Too late... It all ended badly. He's dead.

RAT BASTARDS!

I'm seriously contemplating not watching season four. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:231177 ninjababe @ 2012-10-31T22:53:00 2012-11-01T04:53:43Z 2012-11-01T04:53:43Z

This is a t-shirt I bought at Disneyland a few years ago. A friend saw me in this and asked me if it was a premonition of what was to come because Disney has bought Lucas Films. It made me giggle, so I had to share. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:230991 Fic: Press 3 for the Apocalypse 1/1 2012-10-17T03:56:59Z 2012-10-17T03:56:59Z The next story in my 'Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)' series.

Title and most of phone voicemail message courtesy of ithildyn

"If this is billing question, press 1. If this is a planetary emergency, press 2. If this is a supernatural apocalypse, press 3. Then, leave a message. If it's personal, or for reasons 2 or 3, I'll get back to you. If it's for reason 1, I'm sorry, you're screwed."

"Darcy, it's Alicia," one of the Slayers of New York City giggled. "I love your phone message. Planetary emergency? Really? Like you know the Avengers or something? Anyway… Liz and I are wondering if you're available tomorrow afternoon for coffee and gossip. You'll never guess what happened in Spain last week. And, considering how boring your job must be, you'll need a good laugh."

=====

"They're just so childish!" Darcy exclaimed as she paced Coulson' office.

"They're eighteen, and still in high school," Coulson calmly pointed out. "You were there not too long before, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Darcy waved the point away. "Anyway, I'm off to get the latest Council gossip while listening to two teens giggle and ponder how boring my life is."

Coulson smirked. "Remember, they get nightly excitement from patrolling, and think your life is nothing but nine to five scientist wrangling."

"Secret identities suck," Darcy grumbled as she left.

=====

"Darcy? Hey, it's Liz. I still think you're voicemail message is the best ever. If we ever run into the Avengers while patrolling, we'll get you their autographs. Guess what happened! Alicia and I got invited to the senior prom! You know it's a 'rite of passage' for all women. So, you can't say no to our request. We just need you to take our patrol route for two nights. The night before and night of the prom. No big deal. We'll work extra hard the week before the prom so it'll be a breeze to you. We'll email the details! Thanks!"

=====

"Anything else?" Coulson asked at the end of their weekly meeting.

Darcy sighed. "Yes. Next week's meeting needs moved forward two days."

Coulson arched an eyebrow. "Why?"

Darcy sighed again. "I'm patrolling for two nights so Alicia and Liz can go to their prom. So, I'm taking those days off since I'll be up most of the night." Waving a hand half-heartedly, she continued, "Yay. Go, backup. "

Coulson nodded. "Approved. I'll see if anyone at the Tower is available to help and to keep you company."

"Not Thor!" Darcy requested with wide eyes. "Please, not Thor! It'll end up with explosions and large pits and more explosions!"

"How do the kids say it these days?" Coulson asked with a smirk. "That would be epic."

=====

"So, this is what Slayers do?" Steve asked as he and Darcy wandered through a graveyard.

"Mostly," Darcy replied, twirling a stake in one hand. "There's a bit of research through the papers and news websites, looking for any bizarre death activities in alleys and clubs, plus looking through the obituaries for possible future vampire raisings. Also, random apocalypses do crop up."

"And, tonight?" Steve asked as the two exited the cemetery and walked towards to their car.

Darcy shrugged. "A few more areas to wander. Shouldn't be more than two hours."

Before they could reach the car, they were surrounded by three men. "Well, well, well. Look what we have here boys. A late night stroll, perhaps?"

Darcy rolled her eyes and turned to Steve. "Vampires."

Nodding, Steve pulled a stake from his pocket and lunged. One of the vampires turned to dust as he plunged a stake into his heart.

"Joe!" one of the two remaining vampires exclaimed.

"We're going to kill you," the other vampire growled.

"Uh huh," Darcy said, disbelievingly. A few seconds later, she was a blur, and a second vampire turned to dust. "Want to rephrase that?"

The third vampire turned and started to run away.

"I hate when they run," Darcy stated with a sigh. Before she could jog after the vampire, an arrow flew through the air and straight into the fleeing vampire's heart, turning him to dust.

"Get over here!" Darcy exclaimed into the night.

"Nope," Clint's voice called out from the trees. "I'm happy out here."

"I consider this stalking!" Darcy yelled before stomping to the driver's side of the car.

"Meet you at the next location!" Clint voice drifted over as Steve got into the passenger side of the car with a grin.

=====

"MOVE IT BEFORE I TASE YOUR ASS! I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE CUTE AND PRETTY! THEY TOUCH YOU, YOU PROBABLY DIE! OR AT LEAST FALL Unconscious! MOVE IT!" Darcy yelled towards the crowd of people she was herding away from the current Avengers crisis situation.

"Darcy?" Alicia asked while Liz stared at their fellow Slayer with wide eyes as people streamed around them, following Darcy's orders.

Darcy blinked. Pausing to regain her equilibrium, she replied, "Oh, hi, guys. You need to follow these people. This just became a secure zone." Turning to glare at the woman trying to sneak away, she yelled, "YOU! YES! YOU! MISS 'I'M A RAG REPORTER!' BACK OFF BEFORE I MAKE YOU BACK OFF!"

"You're wearing a badge," Liz stated, pointing at the SHIELD badge around Darcy's neck.

"Yes, I am. Now, you get out of the area," Darcy said, pointing away from the battle they could hear. However, the two teens didn't move. A few moments later, only Darcy and her fellow Slayers were left.

"Agent Lewis?" Natasha asked, appearing out of nowhere.

Darcy arched an eyebrow and calmly replied, "Yes, Widow?"

Natasha pointed at the two Slayers. "Iron Man states these are the last civilians in the battle area per his scans. We're going to Phase Two."

Darcy's eyes widened as she pushed the two younger girls. "Move it. We don't want to be here for Phase Two. Phase Two is always bad."

"Black Widow knows your name," Alicia pointed out.

"Uh huh. Keep moving." As the three reached the other side of the police barrier, Darcy sighed. "And, I really liked the shoe store on that block, too."

"Agent Lewis," A junior SHIELD agent asked as he jogged up. "Agent Coulson is asking for a sit rep."

"Right," Darcy replied with a sharp nod as she strode towards the black van off to one side, ignoring the two Slayers trailing behind her. As she approached the vehicle, the rear doors opened and Coulson stepped out. Seeing the teenagers following Darcy, he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, cover blown," Darcy said with a shrug. "Anyway, the site's cleared of civilians, and the Avengers are doing a Phase Two."

Sighing, Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hate Phase Two's."

"I'm going to regret this," Darcy replied. "But, I'll help with the paperwork."

Coulson glared. "You just want to disappear into the secure building they have no access to so you don't have to explain the whole situation to them."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Who won the pool, anyway?"

"Bruce," Coulson said as he handed over a clipboard of full of paper. "If you could have waited until tomorrow to reveal your secret identity, I would have won."

"I should have never put down it would have lasted a year," Darcy sighed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:230838 Fic: I Went to the Apocalypse and Didn't Even Get a T-Shirt 1/1 2012-10-16T02:56:00Z 2012-10-16T02:56:00Z Thanks, yet again, to ithildyn for the title.

This is part of the "Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)" universe. It happens at an undetermined time after 'Five Times Darcy Almost Saved The Day'.

Placing her duffel bag just inside the doorway, Darcy stepped into the common room of Avengers Tower where the household was watching the news.

Actually, Thor and Clint were the only ones watching the television. Bruce and Jane were reading books, Tony was working on a touchpad, Natasha was cleaning weapons, Steve was drawing, Pepper was fiddling with her phone, and Coulson was working on paperwork in a corner. "Okay, I'm ready," she said as she walked over to Coulson.

"Darcy? Why are you wearing your Asgardian outfit?" Jane asked, wide-eyed as she stared at the embossed leather pants and vest with a white t-shirt underneath.

Thor cocked his head. "Are you taking my mother out for another woman's night? If so, do you really need the weapons and to wear your armor?"

Coulson stood up and stared at Darcy. "Have you got everything?"

Yes." Darcy gave a sharp nod. "Hand axe, six stakes, extra sword, three tasers," she replied as she pointed to the duffel bag. "Short sword," she continued, pointing to the sword strapped to her back under her vest. "Plus my Asgardian daggers," she ended, pointing to the hilts sticking out of her boots.

"What is going on?" Pepper asked, putting her phone down.

"Darcy?" Natasha intently asked when Coulson and Darcy ignored the room.

Coulson nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "And, the rules?"

Darcy took a deep breath. "Rule one: don't die."

Bruce looked concerned. "Okay, what's happening here?"

Darcy gave a little grin as she continued. "Rule two: stay hydrated and eat regularly. Rule three: check in every four hours like clockwork, call when it starts, and as soon as everything is over."

"Why does it sound like she's getting a final briefing for a mission?" Clint asked. "Damn it, stop ignoring us!"

Darcy turned to look at the rest of the room. Giving a wave, she replied, "I'll see you guys within the week. I have to go meet up with the other local girls for our ride." Picking up her duffel bag, she stalked out of the room.

Coulson sat back down and slumped in his chair. Sighing, he pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose.

"Phil?" Pepper asked, concerned.

"It's springtime," Coulson replied.

Pepper thought for a moment, then went wide-eyed. "Oh! How bad is it?"

"They're calling in all Slayers on the Eastern Seaboard. The rest are on standby if the first 'wave' fall," Phil replied.

Tony threw his hands into the air. "Okay, will someone tell me what the hell is going on? Pepper?"

"Spring is apocalypse season in the supernatural world," Pepper said softly. "They're off stopping it."

Steve stood abruptly. "Then, we should go help!"

Phil shook his head. "We can't interfere. The Council rejected the help of SHIELD and the Avengers. Unless they request assistance, we are to stay out of it."

"So, you let a young woman go off to her death?" Natasha asked, her voice low and deadly.

Coulson glared around as he gathered up his papers. "Why do you think I've been training her? When you see her next, you convince her not to go." With that, he stalked out of the room.

=====

Over the next four days, someone from the tower would show up wherever Coulson was every four hours to make sure he had heard from Darcy. On the fifth day, Coulson received the 'it's started' call. Most of the residents of the tower ended up shadowing Coulson through SHIELD headquarters after word had gotten out.

After three hours of hosting the Avengers, to get some peace, Coulson took a SHIELD issued laptop and his paperwork to the tower and set up a temporary office there.

Two hours after that, Coulson's phone rang from where he had placed it on the table. Before it had rung twice, he had answered the call. "Hello? Yes? Good."

Hanging up the phone, he turned to the room. "She's only minorly injured and will be home within the next twelve hours."

"Tell me where she is, and she'll be home sooner," Tony pointed out, pulling his phone out to call his jet.

Coulson shook his head and sighed. "I can't tell you where the Council is based."

Tony shoved his phone back into his pocket. "I'm going to my workshop," he growled as he stalked from the room.

"Stark!" Coulson called out. "There is nothing in the SHIELD database giving specifics on the Council!"

=====

"Hello, my people! I return, relatively unscathed and victorious!" Darcy exclaimed as she entered the common room and put her duffel bag off to one side. She had a large bruise on her right cheekbone, and gauze wrapped around her left forearm. "The world is safe, until next time, and I think that deserves the good stuff! Tony, where's your Scotch stashed?"

The screen was paused as the room put down what they were doing, and turned to the doorway.

"You are never getting into my single malt," Tony replied with a pointed finger. "Especially since I've seen you guzzle whisky. Heathen." He smiled widely. "Glad to have you back."

"Injury report?" Coulson asked from his temporary office area in the corner.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Bruising to face and torso, two cracked ribs, twisted ankle, fifteen stitches to left forearm."

Coulson nodded. "Current status of injuries?"

"Ankle's healed, bruises and ribs will be one hundred percent by tomorrow morning, stitches can come out in two days."

"Should you be drinking while on pain meds and antibiotics?" Bruce asked from his seat.

"I didn't need antibiotics. And, what pain killers?" Darcy asked with a grin."I took some ibuprofen six hours ago. It's totally out of my system now. So... since Tony won't share the good stuff, shall we break out the vodka and tequila? I need to get my drink on!"

"Darcy, are you okay?" Jane asked, concerned.

"Yep!" Darcy said with a manic grin as she grabbed her duffel bag. "I'll be right back after I change into something comfortable. There better be drinking going on when I get back."

Coulson sighed as his Slayer left the room.

"What is this about?" Steve asked with a wave toward the doorway.

"She's in 'Yay! We survived!' mode," Jane replied. "She's going to drink, probably do some arm wrestling with Thor and Steve, drink some more, break a few things, drink a bit more, dance, finish the night drinking, then languish around with the hangover tomorrow. It'll calm her down."

Coulson nodded in agreement. "That's what the manual mentions. Just, don't sneak up on her until at least this time tomorrow. By then, she should be back to normal."

"Manual?" Natasha asked with raised eyebrows.

"And, if we did sneak up on her?" Tony asked at the same time with a broad grin.

"I gave my manual to Coulson when he took over for me," Jane said with a wave. "It's more of a pamphlet, but it gives the basics."

"And, Stark," Coulson spoke as he started to tidy up the side table. "I won't be responsible for the new hole you'll have if you do sneak up on her."

"Margaritas! Where are the margaritas?!" Darcy called from down the hall.

With a wide grin, Thor stood up and helped Jane stand. "I believe the phrase is 'Party on, dudes!" he stated as he lead his girlfriend from the room.

Pointed at the doorway, Tony exclaimed. "Who the hell showed him 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure'?"

Clint cackled as he jogged from the room.

=====

PSA moment: Don't mix types of alcohol. If you start with vodka, stick to vodka. If you start with tequila, stick to tequila and maybe mescal. From personal experience, mixing is bad! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:230475 Fic: Some Things Should Be in the Closet 1/1 2012-10-10T04:51:45Z 2012-10-17T03:58:48Z Thanks to ithildyn for the title.

For the most part, the 'Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)' is going to be short stories. I may have a multi-chaptered story here or there, but mostly it's going to be short looks into the universe.

Darcy glared at the SHIELD agent in front of her.

"Ms. Lewis, you need to move," the agent stated trying to get around her to the closet she was guarding. Both were ignoring the thumping and yelling coming from behind the keypad locked door.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Darcy replied, "We wait for Coulson."

"He's hours away," the agent pointed out as he reached for her to pull her out of the way.

Grabbing his hand, Darcy twisted his arm like Natasha had taught her last week, bringing the agent to his knees, a pained look on his face. "Then we wait for Director Fury. Until one or the other get here, I'm not moving, and he stays in that closet."

Jane crossed the lab from where she had been speaking into a wall mounted phone. "Director Fury is sending Agent Hill."

"Fury or Coulson," Darcy stated, shoving the agent away, causing him to sprawl on the floor.

The doors to the lab slid open showing Maria Hill and Bruce Banner. "Darcy?" Bruce asked.

"Did you tell his Directorship that this is Council related?" Darcy asked Jane as she leant against the closet door. Giving the door a thump, she called out, "Shut up in there."

Maria looked skeptical. "What does the Security Council have to do with this?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Wrong Council."

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked, wide-eyed.

"Positive," Darcy replied with a sharp nod.

Maria and the agent spent five minutes arguing with Darcy, to no avail. "Fury or Coulson," was all she would say.

The doors slid open again and Fury stomped through. "What the hell?"

"Leave," Darcy told the anonymous SHIELD agent and Maria.

"Sir?" Maria asked Fury.

"Go, I'll handle this," Fury said, nodding his head towards the doors. "And, this better be good."

After the two agents had left the lab, Darcy stood up and asked Fury, "So, why doesn't this building have some sort of detection method for vampires?"

"There's a vampire in the closet?" Jane squeaked as the pounding from the closet started up again.

Bruce looked warily at the closet. "I thought vampires have to be invited in."

"A private residence. This is a public building. Granted, a public building with very high security, but headquarters is still a public building," Darcy said with a shrug.

Fury rubbed between his eyebrows. "Why didn't you take care of it?"

Darcy glared. "An agent goes suddenly missing, last seen entering this lab? Not without informing Coulson or you so the investigation could be dealt with. It was hard enough to lead him here so I could throw him into the closet. It was icky how many times he almost made out with me."

"And, now that you've informed me?" Fury asked, ignoring her commentary.

"I'll take care of it," Darcy said, making shooing motions. "Clear the lab. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

As the others were leaving, Darcy muttered, "We really need a set of protocols for this situation in the future." Pausing at the closet's lock keypad, she shuddered. "Damn it, now I'm starting to talk like Coulson!" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:230284 Fic: Darcy Explains Life, the Universe, and Everything 1/1 2012-10-10T04:45:33Z 2012-10-10T04:45:33Z Darcy explains what it means to be a Slayer to Erik and why she's in New Mexico to Coulson...

This happens immediately after 'Normality is Overrated'.

Thanks to ithildyn for the title.

Agent Coulson calmly shut the glass doors of the defunct gas station that was Jane's current laboratory. "SHIELD has a perimeter around the town. Now, explain."

Darcy stood near the back of the room, leaning against a desk with her arms crossed across her chest. "And, what's to stop the rumors of me being a Slayer among the agents?"

Coulson gave a small smirk. "The agents who heard you know not to say a word. If they do, they'll have a lovely life at McMurdo Station."

Jane went wide eyed. "You can do that?"

Coulson nodded. "Of course." Turning to Darcy, raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Fine," Darcy sighed. "This does not leave this room. It is not to go into any databases or reports. The only person who can be told any of this is your Director Fury. My Council contact told me that you can tell him, whoever he is, everything, as long as you are one hundred percent positive it isn't overheard or recorded."

Nodding, Coulson replied. "He's the head of SHIELD. Considering what I know about the Council, I agree. I'm more interested in how you came to be here, with Jane as your Watcher."

"I want to know what is going on!" Erik exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air.

"Okay, quick version," Darcy replied, nodding and walking over to a large cabinet. Pulling out a length of rebar, she handed it to Erik. "Bend it."

"It's rebar," Erik pointed out.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Just bend it."

As Erik strained to bend the length of metal, Darcy started her explanation. "The world is full of supernatural things. Ghosts, demons, all that. Most are peaceful. Some aren't. In the mists of time, Slayers were created. Girls with supernatural gifts of speed, strength, etc. We fight the oogie-boogies and keep humanity safe. The Council is our support network."

Erik snorted. "You expect me to believe this crap?"

Darcy grinned and took back the rebar. "You couldn't bend it." Then, with no effort, she bent the straight length of metal into a circle.

"What? But? What?" Erik sputtered.

"We'll explain it in more depth later," Jane said, patting Erik on the shoulder as she passed him a beer.

"Now that the background is out of the way?" Coulson prodded.

Darcy nodded. "Right. I was at school, looking for an easy way to get my science credits, and saw Jane's internship. Astrophysicist trying to prove wormholes exist? Yeah, possible bad news. So, I contacted the Council. They looked into it and thought she had a good chance of succeeding. So, I was asked to apply for the internship. Luckily, I got it."

"Why would wormholes be bad?" Erik asked after taking a pull from his second beer.

"As Thor proved, there are many realms, worlds, dimensions, whatever you want to call them," Darcy pointed out. "Not all are nice places. In fact, there are locations on the Earth where the border is thin. And, on the other side? We consider them hell dimensions. The Council watches those areas closely.

"So, I'm here to make sure that Jane doesn't open a portal to a bad area of the universe. If she does, I'll either help close it, or try to hold off anything that comes out until back-up arrives."

Looking pensive, Coulson nodded. "That makes sense."

"Now what?" Jane asked.

"You and Doctor Selving come work for SHIELD, where you'll have a building full of agents in the background to help if something goes wrong." Coulson held out a folder.

Jane glared."And, Darcy?"

"I'm going to contact the Council about becoming her Watcher."

"Hey! What for?" Darcy exclaimed.

Coulson gave a mild glare. "Now that I know you're a Slayer, your behavioral pattern around town makes sense. Luckily, there can't be many demons in this town."

"You'd be surprised," Jane muttered with a sad look.

Darcy gave Jane a one armed hug. "It's okay, Jane. I made the kitten poker circuit leave town." Turning to Coulson, she glared. "First off, I'm fine here. And, if I don't want you?"

"Fine here won't cut it in New York. And, You don't get access to SHIELD headquarters," Coulson said with a smirk.

"That's blackmail," Darcy glared. "And, I'm not an active slayer."

"I'm not surprised SHIELD would resort to blackmail," Erik snorted.

Jane sighed. "I'm going to put him to bed and let you two argue," she said as she grabbed the folder from Coulson and led Erik from the room.

"You aren't going to back down, are you?" Darcy said with a groan.

Coulson didn't reply, just stared with a raised eyebrow.

Darcy threw her arms into the air. "Fine! Whatever! I still work with Jane, I don't patrol unless the Council needs it. I'm only available as back-up or in emergencies."

Coulson nodded. "That's doable. You keep in reasonable shape, just in case. You make weekly, face to face, reports to my office on Jane's progress. During that time, you'll also give me a personal weekly update. Also, you'll listen to my suggestions with an open mind."

Taking a deep breath, Darcy nodded. "I can work with that. You'll have to do the Watcher training before it's official though." The last was said with a devilish grin. "Don't worry, there's a condensed version that takes three days. Of course, it's sixteen hours each day. You'll love it. It'll be fun!"

=====

A few months later...

Parking his sedan in the spot designated for visitors, Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD got out of his vehicle and locked the door. Striding to the front of the mansion nearby, he used the knocker on the door.

The door opened a few moments later to reveal a teenage girl in pigtails, jeans, and a ratty t-shirt. After looking Coulson over, she said, "If that was tweed, you would be so old school. You must be here for the Watcher crash course."

Coulson nodded. "Phil Coulson."

"Right," the girl said with a shrug. Holding the door open, she motioned him inside. "First lesson," the girl continued as Coulson entered the building. "Never verbally invite anyone into your residence."

"Noted," Coulson replied.

"Oh, we're going to love you," the girl smirked as she closed the door.

=====

This is actually two ideas I had... 1) Darcy explains about Slayers and 2) Coulson goes to Watcher school... But, the Coulson in Watcher school petered out... So, I turned it into a coda to this story. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:229974 Fic: Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did 6/6 2012-09-28T02:26:58Z 2012-09-28T02:28:28Z This is currently not beta-read. I couldn't wait. :-) When I get it beta-read, this message will be changed.

Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did

"It's not fair," Darcy pouted at Jane.

Looking up from her computer screen, Jane sighed. After she glanced at the clock on the wall, she reached over and turned the monitor off. "What's wrong?"

"You're getting into scheduled girl talk without me forcing you!" Darcy wiped a fake tear from her eye. "My little girl is all grown up!"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Darcy, what's not fair?"

"You have all these great stories about living at Stark/Avengers Tower. Every day is full of wonder and excitement. Plus some great eye candy. And, then there is my life. I'm nothing but an assistant to a, granted awesome, scientist. My life, it is boring."

"Darcy, you spar with SHIELD agents, you're playing battleship via email with Tony Stark, you have hide and seek competitions with Clint and Natasha, super-spies, you're a..."

"Uh uh!" Darcy interrupted, wagging a finger at the other woman. "No mention of that word in this building. At all."

"Oh," Jane looked a little sheepish. "Sorry."

"The walls have ears," Darcy mock whispered as she looked around their new lab in the basement of SHIELD headquarters wide eyed.

"Yes they do," a male voice stated from the doorway of the lab. "And, I know all."

"Gah!" both women exclaimed as they turned towards the voice.

"Coulson!" Darcy yelled.

"You're late with this week's reports, Ms. Lewis," Coulson said.

"I am not," Darcy replied. "I have an hour more to go. If you want them now, you can take them. Otherwise, this time is scheduled to talk with Jane, so vamoose."

"I'll see you within an hour then," Coulson stated before turning around and leaving the lab.

"Why doesn't he just take the reports now?" Jane asked.

"Because, he'll want a report on me personally, and his office is the only room he can be one hundred percent sure isn't bugged. Even there, we don't use that word," Darcy replied with a shrug. "Now then, where were we? Oh yes, your oh so fabulous life and my dull doldrums of an existence."

"You just want to come to movie night," Jane said with a grin.

Darcy gave a grin back. "Darn tootin!"

"Fine," Jane waved a hand before turning back to her monitor. Turning it back on, she continued, "You can have my spare room that night."

"Yay!" Darcy jumped from her seat and clapped her hands a few times. Grabbing the pile of reports, she wandered off to give her weekly account to her Watcher.

=====

After changing into dark red sweatpants covered with fluffy white sheep, and a large smiley face with horns t-shirt, Darcy checked that her taser was properly placed in the holster between her breasts, and that the slim stake holstered in the small of her back wouldn't bother her. A nagging feeling told her they might be necessary. "I'm not having the dreams," she muttered to herself. "I'm not." Giving herself as shake, she sauntered out of Jane's guest room to wait for her friend.

A few minutes later, Darcy and Jane were chatting amicably as they walked to the media room Tony had set up for movie night.

"So, what are we watching?" Darcy asked with a bounce as she entered.

"Lord of the Rings," Bruce replied, waving a DVD case in the air.

"Uh... No," Darcy stated, reaching for the case.

"You have an objection to Lord of the Rings?" Tony asked with a smirk from his armchair.

"This isn't the extended version. It would be like starting a Star Wars virgin with episode one. Blasphemy!" Darcy exclaimed, the DVD case raised in the air.

"Umm... Okay..." Clint replied from his position on the couch. "Then, what shall we watch?"

Darcy grinned and pulled a box set out from where she had hidden it earlier. "Indiana Jones anyone?"

They were forty-five minutes through 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' when Darcy felt antsy, like something was about to happen. She furtively glanced around as she repositioned herself on the couch. Instead of sprawling, she was sitting at attention, anticipating something happening.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked, curious.

"Nothing," Darcy replied distractedly as she tried to look casual.

A plate glass window across the room shattered as a green demon holding a sword appeared. "You all die," the demon growled out.

Darcy blurred into action, hopping over the back of the couch with one arm as she removed the stake from it's holster with the other. Rushing forward, she dodged the demon's sword thrust and kicked him with all her might in the knee.

As he staggered towards the ground, she quickly rammed the stake into the red jewel in the center of the demon's forehead, her left forearm blocking his sword arm from swinging at her again.

As the demon fell over, dead instantly, Darcy took a deep breath then crowed, "Hah! I did too study the classification manuals! Go me!" Turning around with a grin, she saw Jane with her face in her hands and the rest of the room looking shocked. "Oh, shit."

Jane sighed deeply, then pulled out her cell phone. "Agent Coulson, you need to come to the Tower. We've had a Council related incident." Nodding at Coulson's reply, she put her phone away. "He'll be here in fifteen minutes," she told the room.

"Darcy?" Steve asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Darcy replied, trying to look innocent.

Clint looked at the dead body, wide-eyed. "What the hell!"

"I'm waiting for Coulson to show up," Darcy replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Until then, I plead the fifth."

"You can only plead the fifth in court," Tony pointed out before gulping his scotch.

Natasha looked pensive. "Very nice technique."

"You knew about whatever is going on, didn't you?" Bruce asked Jane, who shook her head.

"We wait for Coulson," Jane replied.

An awkward silence fell until Coulson entered the room. Staring at the dead demon, he sighed before looking at Darcy. "Tasing a god, and breaking the nose of another, wasn't enough for you? You had to add a Mohra to the list?"

Darcy gave a large, fake, grin. "I'm just awesome like that?"

"More like, you got lucky," Coulson pointed out.

Darcy shrug her shoulders. "True. He obviously wasn't expecting me. If I hadn't been able to stake him, I had hoped to push him out of the window and call for backup before he returned."

"You!" Thor exclaimed, pointing his finger at Darcy. "You broke Loki's nose! Is that why mother refused to let the healers heal it?"

"Served him right, trying to kidnap me," Darcy replied with a sniff.

Coulson turned back to the body. "How did he get up to the sixtieth floor? And, how do we dispose of Mohra demons?"

"Burn them, I think," Darcy stated. "As for his entry, who knows... Portal? Swung in using a rope?"

"Mohra?" Clint asked.

Coulson waved at the body. "Demon, almost invincible and heals from any wound. Only way to kill it is to destroy the jewel on it's forehead."

"Okay, enough." Tony stood up and gave Darcy and Coulson a sharp look. "Explain. Now."

Coulson turned to the Avengers. "Darcy is what's termed a Slayer. A woman with extra strength, stamina, and reflexes. She's a member of an organization that fights the supernatural. Demons, ghosts, things that go bump in the night."

"A semi-retired member," Darcy interjected.

Clint looked confused. "Semi-retired?"

Jane looked exasperated. "You aren't retired until you're dead." Turning to Darcy, she added. "Really? You call yourself semi-retired? You have an agent of SHIELD as a Watcher, and he actually makes you train."

"I'm on call for end of the world, and back-up," Darcy replied with a glare. "Unless it happens in front of me, like tonight, I'm not getting into it."

"But, you could do so much good," Steve pointed out. "You're perfect for the Avenger's Initiative."

"Oh, no you don't," Darcy put her hands on her hips. "I'm not bringing the oogie-boogies of the world into this."

"I don't understand," Natasha said, looking perplexed.

"The demons and vampires of the world find out that a Slayer is working as an Avenger, you won't just have to worry about aliens and robots trying to conquer or destroy the world," Darcy replied. "There may be more than one Slayer in the world now, but our deaths still have a high bounty. I'm happy with my life the way it is."

"But, you are wasting your gifts, denying your purpose," Thor pointed out.

"Look," Darcy growled as she stalked across the room and poked a finger into Thor's chest. "I was a normal, sixteen year old girl, when I accidentally pushed my mom into a wall for trying to wake me up for school. I've since then learned control, learned what to look for when it comes to demonic activity, memorized how to kill said demons, and was told to have as normal a life as I wanted. I want normal." Taking a deep breath, she backed up a few steps and addressed the room. "Granted, my normal is working for a physicist trying to create worm holes, and being friends with world renowned super heroes, but that's my normal."

"You forgot your workaholic agent of a Watcher." Jane grinned.

Darcy grinned. "I'm working on that."

"Your transfer is still denied," Coulson pointed out.

"I'm not looking for a transfer," Darcy said with a grin. "Leave the office at a decent hour, and you won't find your paperwork in a lovely bonfire. Remember, fire pretty..."

Shaking his head, Coulson returned to the dead demon. "I don't see the ring, so he's not Order of Taraka."

"Which is a good thing," Darcy pointed out. "I really don't want to tangle with those assassins. Besides, I don't think Mohras joined that order. Against their honor or something."

Shrugging, Coulson pulled out his cell phone. "You never know. I'll inform the Council about this, let them do some research. If we're lucky, it was just a rogue assassin looking to gain honor with his clan, and not an organized effort to kill the Avengers." Glancing at Darcy, he smirked. "You've just been detailed for supernatural baby sitting duties."

"Yay," Darcy said before sticking her tongue out at him.

"We don't need a baby sitter!" Clint protested.

Darcy quirked an eyebrow. "Do you know how to kill a Grimshaw or Vahrall? And, that's just two of the many diverse breeds of demons out there."

"Then, you can teach us," Bruce stated.

Sighing, Darcy rubbed her forehead. "A lot of what I personally do is instinctive. Yes, I could give you the classification manuals for you to memorize, but even that isn't enough. Can you wield a sword well enough to behead something fifteen feet tall? While it's attacking you with it's own weapons?"

Natasha nodded. "I probably could."

"I, as well," Thor added while Clint and Steve looked pensive.

"So, two out of six. Not that great a ratio."

Coulson shut his cell phone and interrupted the conversation. "The Council agreed. You're to stay here with the Avengers until we get this straightened out. They're sending some people over to ward the tower against demons."

"They can't ward the whole tower," Darcy pointed out.

Tony snorted. "Why not? It's my tower."

"Darcy's right." Coulson rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You do have demons and half-demons working for you."

"I have demons working for me?!" Tony looked shocked.

"Not all demons are evil. Some are quite awesome," Jane said with a grin. "I used to play poker with a few. Until it got too depressing..."

"Why would poker get depressing? Did you lose?" Natasha asked.

"We can discuss kitten poker later," Coulson interjected, trying to get the conversation back on track. "Until the Council gets here to ward the private levels of this tower, Darcy's word is law. If she says to do something, do it. We'll move her into the tower temporarily until this is resolved."

Jane smiled, "Well, that's one way to get into the tower."

Darcy grinned. "Power, I has it."

=====

The End!

Even though, I have ideas for other stories... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:229880 Fic: Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did 5/6 2012-09-28T02:22:37Z 2012-09-28T02:27:32Z This is currently not beta-read. I couldn't wait. :-) When I get it beta-read, this message will be changed.

Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did

by Ninjababe

Hearing 'Take This Job and Shove It' from her jeans pocket, Darcy sighed and pulled her cell phone out. "Hello, Coulson."

Listening for a few moments, she sighed again and nodded. "I'll be there soon."

Looking over to where Jane and Erik were conferring, she put her cell phone back into her pocket and stood up. Pulling her SHIELD badge out, she put it around her neck. "Hey, guys?" After a few moments of being ignored, she put her fingers to her mouth and whistled loudly.

When the two scientists looked at her, annoyed, she continued. "I've got to go out. Coulson's called me in to help."

Jane looked worried. "That's never good."

Darcy smiled. "It won't be so bad. I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Waving, she strode out of the lab and towards her car.

Ten minutes later, she parked her car on the street and quickly walked toward the SHIELD mobile unit. "What's the sitch?" she asked Coulson as she approached.

"Bomb threat in the middle of that," Coulson replied, gesturing to the mass of people clogging the street.

"Why haven't they been evacuated?" Darcy asked, her head cocked.

Coulson pinched his nose. "It's a protest. The higher ups don't want SHIELD to be seen as anti-freedom of rights by shutting it down."

Darcy nodded and stretched her arms. "What are we looking for?"

"Anything out of place," Coulson replied as he handed over an earpiece. "Unattended bags, overfull garbage cans, things like that."

Fitting the earpiece in, Darcy nodded and took a deep breath. "Right, I'm going in."

"The Avengers are all in the crowd, as well as other SHIELD agents," Coulson stated as Darcy started to move away.

"Here, bomby, bomby," Darcy muttered as she searched through the crowd.

"You are live, Agent Lewis," Steve stated over the communication line.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Darcy replied as she continued to search.

After ten minutes of searching, she sighed. "I need coffee."

"Me too," Tony replied.

"Stark! Lewis!" Coulson loudly said over the line.

Darcy jumped. "Sorry! Sorry! I forgot about the earpiece. Radio silence, right..."

That's when she saw the backpack against a light post. She looked it over. It had no identification tag. Looking at the people around, she called out, "Hey, does this belong to anyone? Or should I drop it off with the cops as lost?"

"Did you find something, Darcy Lewis?" Thor asked over the comm.

"I don't know yet," Darcy replied. After a few moments of no replies from the people around her, she approached the bag. "It's a backpack, unattended. I'm seeing if there are any outside wires or triggers."

"Don't touch it!" Natasha barked. "The bomb squad will reach you within ten minutes."

"I'm not touching it unless I have to," Darcy replied, rolling her eyes. "I don't see anything that could be a trigger."

"Wait for the bomb squad," Clint ground out.

"Uh huh..." Darcy replied, distractedly as she reached out. "I'm going to open the bag."

Multiple shouts of "NO!" caused her to flinch.

Shaking her head, she slowly pulled the zipper of the backpack, her head pulled back and her eyes half shut.

After a few moments, she had the bag opened and gave a sigh of relief. "Well, it hasn't gone off yet."

"Idiot child," Coulson ground out over the mutterings of multiple Avengers and agents. "We are going to have a serious talk when this is over."

"Ummm..." Darcy looked at the timer she could see with wide eyes. "How far is the bomb guys from me?"

"Four minutes out," an agent replied.

"I have a two minute timer," Darcy replied as she rezipped the backpack. "I'm going to run with it."

Picking the bag up, she turned toward a nearby building, only to be stopped by Bruce appearing out of the crowd.

"I'll take that," he said with a small smile before running into a side alley.

A minute and a half later, the ground shook, and the roof of a nearby building seemed to be on fire.

"The Hulk has contained the blast," an agent called out through the comm link. "I repeat, The Hulk has contained the blast."

Giving a sigh of relief, Darcy turned towards the SHIELD van and started back. After a few minutes, she reached Coulson and handed over the comm link. "I'm going home and soak for a few hours in my tub. Probably with a multiple bottles of something alcoholic. I'll listen to your lecture and do your paperwork tomorrow."

"How did you think you'd get the bomb out of the area?" he asked with a glare.

Darcy gave a wan grin. "I totally kick ass at parkour."

=====

Parkour, also known as 'urban running' is a discipline of getting from point A to point B as efficiently as possible, using walls, fire escapes, boxes, roofs, etc... to get there.

I've always thought that slayers would be awesome at parkour.

To Chapter 6 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:229545 Fic: Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did 4/6 2012-09-28T02:14:55Z 2012-09-28T02:23:49Z This is currently not beta-read. I couldn't wait. :-) When I get it beta-read, this message will be changed.

Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did

by Ninjababe

Carefully juggling her bottle of vodka, pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia, and a large spoon, Darcy settled into her couch. Sitting cross legged, she placed the vodka bottle on her side table, then pulled open the pint of ice cream. Stabbing the spoon into the ice cream, she picked up her TV remote.

"Now," Darcy exclaimed as she rearranged her oversized t-shirt. "It's time to veg and catch up on my show."

Clicking on the TV, she quickly went through the menus and found the folder for 'Britian's Best Baker' and was about to hit play when her field of vision of blocked by black leather.

"Huh," Darcy said distractedly as she looked up. "And, you are?"

The tall man glared at her from his golden helmet, which had two long horns curling from the front. Holding his golden staff towards her, he sneered. "I am Loki, you stupid, insignificant mortal."

"Ah," Darcy replied with a nod as she slowly placed her ice cream on the floor and slid her feet from under her legs. "And, you're here why?"

"You," Loki said with a grin before reaching out and forcefully grabbing her by the shoulder before she could dodge or attack.

A wrenching feeling later, and Darcy was falling through the air a few feet to land on a highly polished, golden floor. "Ow."

"Get up, little mortal," Loki said with a smirk.

Growling, Darcy quickly stood up and brushed off her shorts. "Rude, aren't you?"

"Why should I be courteous to you? ... Little Mortal." Loki sneered.

"I heard the capitalization of that," Darcy said, pointing a finger at the God of Mischief. "I don't like it."

"Why should I care?" Loki replied with a flick of his staff. Darcy was suddenly sitting in an uncomfortable chair, her arms tied behind her back. "I'll be back for you later."

"Yeah, hopefully before you starve me to death!" Darcy shouted as Loki strode from the room and the large golden doors of the room banged shut behind him.

"Stupid magic," she muttered to herself as she tried untying herself. "Stupid villains." She threw her head back and screamed, "STUPID ROPES!"

A few moments later, the doors of the chamber opened and a woman wearing a beautifully embroidered dress with her hair piled artfully on top of her head stepped through. "Hello?"

Darcy glared. "Come to gloat at the 'Little Mortal'?"

The blonde's eyes widened. "Oh, Loki, what did you do now?"

Striding forward, the woman pulled a dagger out from one of her wide sleeves. "Let me get you loose. I swear I raised that boy better."

"You're his mom?!" Darcy exclaimed as the woman cut her free.

"I'm Frigga, wife to Odin, mother of Thor and Loki," the woman replied as she held out a hand to help Darcy up, her dagger stowed back into her gown.

"Pleased to meet you, I think," Darcy replied as she took the help to stand. "Just wished it was in better circumstances."

"Indeed," Frigga replied, her mouth a moue of distaste. "I should have took a firmer hand to that boy more as a child."

Darcy grinned. "I think all mothers say that about their children."

Frigga laughed, her voice like a peal of bells. "You, young one, are most likely correct. Tell me, what is your name, and... occupation? I believe you Midgardians call it."

Darcy gave a small nod of her head. "I am Darcy Lewis, assistant to Dr Jane Foster and Dr Erik Selvig."

"You know Jane Foster?" Frigga's eyes lit up. "Come, you must tell me all about her while I get you some clothes to wear and something to eat." Gently grabbing one of Darcy's arms, she led the young woman from the room.

=====

Finding something to eat was much easier done than finding clothing that not only fit Darcy, but that she would wear.

"I do apologize, but it seems Asgardians are much taller that those from Midgard," Frigga said with a sigh. "The only thing so far that fits is..."

"I won't wear that monstrosity of a ballgown," Darcy interrupted. It hadn't taken long for her to relax around the Queen of Asgard. "I'd rather wander around in my t-shirt and get sneered at for being a 'Little Mortal'."

Frigga's reply was cut off by the doors banging open. "There you are!" Loki sneered as he strode into the room.

His rant was cut of before it started by Darcy punching him full force in the nose, causing Loki to stagger back quite a few steps.

"Loki Odinson!" Frigga exclaimed.

"Oooo," Darcy grinned. "Mom voice. Harsh."

Loki glared at Darcy through the hand trying to stop the flow of blood from his nose.

"I'm talking to you," Frigga continued as she strode forward. Pointing a finger and poking Loki in the chest she continued to berate him. "How dare you kidnap this sweet girl from Midgard. Go to your chambers, immediately. I'll deal with you when I'm calm enough."

Looking hangdog, Loki nodded and left the room. He gave Darcy a glare as he shut the doors. She waggled the fingers of her right hand in reply with a grin.

Smoothing down her dress, Frigga turned back to the young woman. "Now then. You weren't completely honest with me before, were you?"

"I'm sorry?" Darcy asked, wide eyed.

"No normal Midgardian could make my son stagger with one punch. Especially one that breaks his nose."

"Oh," Darcy replied, looking at her feet. "He deserved it?" she said hopefully.

Frigga grinned. "Yes, he did, I believe." Pausing, she looked over the pile of dresses laying over most of the surfaces in the room. "No wonder none of these would work for you. A warrior maiden such as yourself needs to be able to fight in all outfits."

"Warrior maiden?" Darcy looked confused.

"You are the current slayer of monsters, are you not? Tales have been told of you and your predecessors in many a song."

"Even the Asgardians know of Slayers?" Darcy asked. "Huh."

Frigga nodded. "Yes. Oh, Sif will be so pleased to meet you!" Pausing, she gave Darcy an assessing look. "Yet, why do you not take up your sacred duty? Why do you instead spend time in your assisting work?"

Darcy looked a little perplexed as she tried to mentally reword the sentence. Then, she had it figured out. "Oh! You probably don't know. There is more than one Slayer now."

"That must be a fine tale," Frigga stated as she led Darcy from the room. "You must speak of it while we find you suitable raiment for your station."

=====

"That is one sweet ride," Darcy proclaimed as she admired the knotwork surrounding herself on the roof of Stark/Avengers Tower.

Moments later, the Avengers themselves came running out of the roof's access door, ready for battle.

"Darcy?" Clint asked, looking confused at her, and her outfit.

"I know, sweet, right?" Darcy replied with a broad grin as she slowly turned in place, showing off her black embossed leather pants and vest, with a pale blue silk shirt underneath. The hilt of a dagger could be seen to be poking from the top of each of her knee high leather boots.

"You are wearing Asgardian clothing," Thor pointed out, Mjolnir slack in his hand.

"Thor, your mom rocks!" Darcy replied as she bounced forward.

"How would you know that?" Bruce Banner asked from the back of the group.

"Oh, Loki kidnapped me, Frigga sent him to his room without supper, then gave me this bitchin' outfit before sending me home. Well, here anyway. Heimdall said it would be better to keep the bifrost exit at the same area it'll be for the future."

"For the future?" Tony Stark asked over exclamations of "Loki!" from the other Avengers.

"I promised Frigga I'd show her what girls on Earth do for fun," Darcy said with a grin as she sauntered towards the access door. "Now, I need to check in with Coulson and fill out what is probably going to be my weight in paperwork before I can start planning that trip. See you guys later!"

To Chapter 5 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:229154 Fic: Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did 3/6 2012-09-28T01:36:11Z 2012-09-28T02:19:57Z This is currently not beta-read. I couldn't wait. :-) When I get it beta-read, this message will be changed.

Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did

by Ninjababe

Coulson held out a small, square box. "Before you go, here."

Putting the weekly pile of reports on the corner of his desk, Darcy gave a small squeal. "Ooo! I love pressies!" Quickly opening the box, she stared at the SHIELD badge on a heavy chain. "Umm... What?"

"Director Fury and I have been working to get certain individuals broader authority during crises. Of which, you are one. Plus, it will give you protection from the police if you are ever discovered on Council business."

Darcy rolled her eyes, "First, why do I need authority during a crisis? Second, the Council can get me out of any trouble I get into."

Calmly placing his pen on his desk, Coulson stared at the young woman in front of him. "If there is a situation, you would be using that badge to take command and lead civilians away from said situation. And, wouldn't it be better not to bring the Council 'to light' as it were, if it could be avoided?"

Darcy sighed as she closed the box. As she placed the box into her purse, she perked up and started to bounce a little. "Does that mean I get a title? Am I Agent Lewis? Can I arrest people? Can I shoot people? Can I squeeze them, and hug them, and call them George?"

Coulson picked up his pen and returned to his paperwork. "You're title is Special Agent Lewis. You could arrest people before. It's your right as an American to have the ability to make a citizens arrests. You already shoot too many people with your taser. And, what you do in your spare time, hopefully in your bedroom, is none of my business."

"Hey! We have a moratorium on my love life!" Darcy exclaimed.

Coulson glanced up at Darcy to give a quick glare before going back to his paperwork. "You brought it up."

Rolling her eyes, Darcy decided to take a different track. "Can I add that to my resume? Oh, and to my business cards?"

Coulson paused in writing and looked up. "You have business cards? And, why do you need a resume?"

"A girl's always have to have a resume handy, just in case an awesome job comes along. And, I gave you a business card when we first met," Darcy pointed out, the pulled a card out. "Remember?"

Coulson grabbed the card, which had been defaced. The original card had simply said 'NWC' for New Watchers Council and a toll free number. It now had scribbled on it in black ink 'Darcy Lewis' above the 'NWC' and 'kick ass assistant to portal creators' above the phone number. In the bottom corner, it read 'No affiliation to Aperture Science' in small block letters.

"See, I could make it say 'Special Agent Darcy Lewis, SHIELD'," Darcy said with a grin over Coulson's sigh.

Placing the card into one of his desk drawers. "Please tell me you aren't handing these out?"

"Nah," Darcy replied with a shake of her head. "I just wanted to see your face."

"I'll see you next week," Coulson said as he pointed towards his office door.

"Sure thing," Darcy said as she started to saunter out of the room. "Oh, the real cards will have my cell phone number on them."

Before he could retort, Darcy had left the room and shut the door behind her.

=====

It had taken barely two weeks before Darcy would have to use her new found 'power'. She was sitting in a crowded coffee shop, calmly drinking her quadruple espresso, when the screams started.

A man can running into the shop yelling, "It's some type of giant robots!"

With a sigh, Darcy pulled her SHIELD badge and taser out her purse. After placing the badge over her head, she turned on her taser and turned to the shop. "All right, people. Let's calmly move towards the back of the store and exit through the alley," she said loudly as she repositioned her purse across her body to hang at one hip.

"Who the hell says you can tell us what to do?" a large man asked with a glare.

Darcy gave a glare back as she held her badge aloft. "One, the killer robots are on the main streets. Two, I'm Special Agent Lewis of SHIELD. Now, move it!"

Watching the front window, Darcy determined what direction the robots seemed to be coming from. Jogging after the fleeing civilians, she pointed away from the carnage that could be heard. "Go that way, and keep going until you either meet the barricade, or you can't hear the battle anymore."

"But, what about you?" one woman asked.

"I have to make sure there are no more people caught up in this," Darcy replied with what she hoped was a comforting smile, but was probably more of a grimace. "Now, go!"

With that, she jogged back through the coffee shop, grabbed her espresso drink, and continued through the front door of the store. Quickly gulping her drink, she looked around for anyone else caught in the battlefield.

She rolled her eyes as she spotted a whole group of people in a fast food restaurant with their faces nearly pressed to the glass front as they watched the battle happening a block away. "Idiots. Robots are coming to kill them, and they just watch in awe."

Striding through the door, she called out. "I'm Special Agent Lewis of SHIELD. You are to calmly walk to the back of the building and into the alley. From there, head away from the battle until you meet the barricade or you can't hear the fighting."

After clearing them out, she cautiously made her way closer to the battle, trying to find any more civilians. Finding a group of people in suits huddling behind a car, she motioned to them and called out, "Come with me. I'm with SHIELD, I'll get you out of here."

The three men and one woman quickly got up and ran towards Darcy. A few moments before they had reached her, a fifteen foot tall robot landed behind them and aimed a gun at the group.

"Well, crap," Darcy exclaimed as the business people ran past her. Raising her taser, she prepared to rush the robot. Hopefully, the voltage would short it out. Or, at least it would be aimed at her, and not the fleeing people.

What was a nearly two story robot suddenly became a pile of sparking scrap metal as the Hulk landed on it with a roar.

"Dude!" Darcy exclaimed with a grin as she lowered her taser. "You rock."

Captain America jogged over. "Are you alright?"

"Just dandy," Darcy said with a grin. "Is there more civilians that need led out?"

Steve cocked his head as if listening to something. "Tony says that scans show clear. They're all out."

"Coolio. Then my job is done," Darcy said with a heartfelt sigh.

Growling, the Hulk pointed behind Darcy.

"Gotcha. I am out of here," she replied to his non-verbal command with a nod. "Have fun smashing!" she shouted behind her with a wave as she ran off.

Blocks later, she encountered the police barricade and slowed down. As she reached it, she walked passed the police officer frantically waving her through. "I was told by the Avengers that this should be all the civilians," she calmly told the officer.

"Yes, ma'am," the officer replied as he pointed towards a matte black van. "The SHIELD mobile unit is over there."

Darcy nodded in thanks as she wove through the crowd, ignoring the questions of the people behind her. When she reached the van, the agent standing beside the passenger door waved her towards the back. "They'll want a situation report."

Opening the back door and spying Coulson, she sighed. "Of course it's you."

Coulson tranquilly handed over a clipboard full of paper and a pen. "Good to see you in one piece. Thought that stray robot was going to get you."

"I'm good," Darcy replied as glanced at the monitors in the van. She winced when she saw Hawkeye dive off a building on one of the screens. However, he was quickly caught by Iron Man and flown to the ground. Giving herself a shake, she turned away from the monitors and took the stack of paper. "Yay. I love paperwork."

"Good," Coulson said with a barely seen smirk.

Looking suspicious, Darcy asked. "Why is that good?"

"After your done with that, you'll be filling out the paperwork to join SHIELD's continuing basic training courses. You were slightly out of breath."

Darcy glared. "I just jogged twelve blocks!"

"Exactly," Coulson stated. "You may be 'semi-retired', but that doesn't mean you get to be totally lazy."

"I am so requesting a transfer," Darcy growled out as she stomped off to a nearby bench.

"Denied!" Coulson called out, his smirk more pronounced.

=====

Darcy's 'business card':

btw: 7589 = SLAY on the phone :)

To Chapter 4 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:228913 Fic: Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did 2/6 2012-09-25T18:30:48Z 2012-09-28T02:16:01Z Again, thanks to ithildyn, my super beta reader...

Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did

by Ninjababe

"You're new, aren't you?" Darcy asked the agent searching her bag at the security checkpoint for SHIELD headquarters.

The other agent at the checkpoint grinned and nodded. "He's just learning the ropes, Ms. Lewis."

"I can tell," Darcy replied. She crossed her arms over her chest as the agent pulled her taser out of the her large purse. "What do you think you're doing, Baby Agent?"

"This is a weapon," the agent stated.

Darcy nodded and gave the agent an 'are you stupid' look. "Duh! That's why I carry it."

"Only agents can carry weapons in headquarters. And, then, only SHIELD approved weapons," the agent stated. Trying to look forceful, he continued, "I'll have to confiscate this, and there is the possibility of charges being filed."

"You have to be kidding me," Darcy said with a glare before turning towards the agent she knew. "He's kidding, right?"

Sighing, the agent replied, "I hadn't gotten around to giving him the exceptions for the manual."

After getting her taser back, Darcy put a 'visitor' badge around her neck, and walked through the lobby towards the elevator. She could hear bits and pieces of the lecture the young agent was getting.

After fifteen minutes of wandering seemingly endless hallways with doors every fifteen feet, she opened a nondescript door.

"Can I deliver these to the helicarrier sometime?" Darcy asked as she entered Agent Coulson's office.

"I seriously doubt it," Coulson said as he held a hand out.

"I think that's all the tree destruction you and your organization need from Jane and Erik this week." Darcy stared at Coulson over her glasses as she handed over a pile of bound reports.

"You don't need to wear glasses," Coulson replied, ignoring her comment.

Darcy sighed. "I may have gone from awful to twenty twenty vision overnight, but I've worn glasses as far back as I can remember. I like my glasses. Lay off the specs."

Coulson nodded. "Anything on you we need to discuss?"

"Really," Darcy asked with raised eyebrows. "You want the dish on my dating life?"

"I meant for the Council," Coulson pointed out.

"I still can't believe they made you my Watcher," Darcy grumbled. "I was fine with Jane."

"Jane let you hunt vampires. Without requiring you to tell her you went out. That's dangerous."

"Whatever." Rolling her eyes, she replied to the original question. "No, nothing's crossed my path since last week."

Coulson stared at her. "If it did?"

"I'd call the active team for New York if it wasn't a life threatening situation," Darcy replied, as if by rote. "If it is a life threatening situation, I'm to do what I can to get myself and civilians out of it, then call you."

"I'll see you next week, then." Dismissing the woman standing before his desk, he turned back to his paperwork.

Grumbling to herself, Darcy stomped out of the office and down the hall.

A few feet from Coulson's office, she was grabbed by behind and she felt the barrel of a gun at her temple.

"Really?" Darcy exclaimed.

"Miss, stay calm," a random SHIELD agent said, his hands spread out to show the gunman he was unarmed.

"Get back! All of you get back!" the gunman shouted towards the hallway full of agents in front of him before he started to pull Darcy backwards down a side corridor.

"I really don't need this today," Darcy grumbled under her breath.

"Well, girlie, it's just you and me," the man holding her hostage said, trying to sound threatening.

"Oh?" Darcy replied, staring at the agents using the doorways down the hall as cover. She was hoping to get to someplace where there weren't agents, even for a few moments, so she could kick this idiot's ass. Coulson could take care of security footage.

"When we get out of here, maybe I'll show you what a real man is like," the gunman said while continuing to pull her down the hall.

Darcy rolled her eyes as she started to place more weight on the arm across her middle. With the gunman having to pull more of her weight, he'd be more off center for when she attacked.

She heard a small noise and felt something whiz over her head. A few moments later, the arm around her fell, causing her to stumble around to regain her footing.

Turning quickly, she got her first look at the man who was holding her hostage. He was at least six feet tall, and very muscular. The tranquilizer arrow sticking out of his neck gave her the reason he was also out cold.

"Idiotic man!" Darcy growled as she kicked him in the ribs. Ignoring the cracks of breaking bone she heard, she turned towards the other end of the hall. Taking a deep breath and running a hand over her hair, she gave Clint a smile from his position down the hall. "Thanks for that."

"No problem," he replied as he stood up and started to fold up his bow. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm just awesome," she said with a brittle grin. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm sure Coulson has a ton of incident paperwork for me to fill out."

She stalked down the halls back towards Coulson's office. She just knew he'd have a two inch stack of paperwork in triplicate to fill out.

To Chapter 3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:228689 Fic: Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day... And Once When She Did 1/6 2012-09-24T05:04:59Z 2012-09-28T01:39:07Z This is a sequel to Normality is Overrated. I've named this series 'Darcy Lewis: Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)'

So, this is a Buffy/Avengers Crossover.

To tell you how much this series has taken over my brain, I wrote some of this longhand, during lunch at work. In a Captain America spiral notebook. I defaced a relic for you! -ahem-

This takes place at undetermined times after the Avengers movie.

Thanks to ithildyn for her awesome beta-reading skills...

"So," Darcy Lewis, full-time assistant to Doctor Jane Foster and Doctor Erik Selvig, asked as she spun her office chair in circles. "What are we giving Pepper for her birthday?"

"Hmm?" Doctor Jane Foster asked distractedly.

Darcy sighed and stopped her spinning. "Jane, pause on the science. We have an important decision to make."

Giving herself a shake, Jane turned away from her computer screen. "Sorry... What was the question?"

"Pepper's birthday gift?" Darcy repeated.

Jane looked deep in thought. "What does she need?"

"A boyfriend who isn't ulcer inducing?" Darcy asked with a smirk.

"Hey!"

The two women looked over to see Tony Stark seemingly appear out of thin air. Jane sighed while Darcy rolled her eyes.

"Mr. Stark, can we help you?" Darcy asked.

"Call me Tony," the billionaire replied. "And, did I hear correctly? Pepper's birthday is coming up?"

"Yes," Jane said distractedly as she turned back to her computer screen.

Darcy stood up forcefully, causing her chair to careen towards the wall. "Damn it!" she exclaimed. "I won't be able to get her out of Science Land for at least another hour now." She turned to Tony, pointing a finger at him. "This is your fault. How dare you interrupt our scheduled girl talk time!"

"You were talking about me," Tony pointed out. "You have to schedule 'girl talk'?"

Darcy picked up her appointment book and waved it around. "When it comes to Jane, it's better to schedule the breaks. She's more likely to listen if it's pre-scheduled."

Tony tried to grab the spiral bound book. "You're using paper? They do come digitally now. I'll get you one."

"I'd only use it for a door stop," Darcy glared. "I know your ways."

"Who, me?" Tony asked innocently, a hand covering the glow of his arc reactor through his t-shirt.

"Yes, you," Darcy said. "You'd change times, make fake appointments.... I'm on to you, mister."

"Jane, you don't think that of me, do you?" Tony asked, turning to the distracted scientist.

"Uh uh," Jane replied without moving her focus from her work.

"See? Jane knows I wouldn't do that," Tony said triumphantly.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Oh please. She's not listening. Jane, does these chips make the Chrysler Building look fat?"

"Uh uh," Jane replied.

Darcy nodded. "See? Science Land. She'll be there for hours. And, that means I can't shop for Pepper's gift until tomorrow, since I have no clue on what we should give her."

"I can fix that," Tony said with a grin.

=====

"Why did I agree to this again?" Darcy groaned as she was dragged into yet another couture store.

"Because you said you'd help me find Pepper a birthday gift. It was your idea."

Darcy shook her head. "No. I asked Jane what we should get Pepper. You were eavesdropping. Which is a character flaw. You should work on that."

"Whatever." Tony waved a hand as if to brush her comment away. "Now, why aren't we being rolled over b a perky shop assistant?"

Darcy pointed to the back of the store. "They're all huddled..." she trailed off when she saw the store clerks were actually sitting on the ground and behind an armed gunman.

"Don't move! Put your hands up!" the gunman shouted.

"Which is it?" Tony asked, his head slightly cocked.

"Tony," Darcy ground out. "Shut up and follow his directions." She slowly moved slightly to one side and forward, hoping to get close enough that she could use her Slayer speed and strength to wrench the gun out of the criminal's hand.

"Do I know you?" the gunman asked, staring at Tony.

Tony grinned.

"Shut up," Darcy hissed behind her. She was almost there.

"Holy shit," the gunman exclaimed. "You're Iron Man." Dropping his gun, he raised his hands. "I give up. I don't want to tangle with your lasers."

Darcy quickly strode forward and kicked the gun away while pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Iron Man, if he moves, fry him," she ordered as she dialed 911.

She could see Tony's eye roll in her mind as he replied. "Of course."

It didn't take long for the police to come and arrest the assailant.

"I don't use lasers, I use repulsors," Tony complained.

"Just be grateful he was stoned enough to think you could hurt him without your suit," Darcy pointed out. "Now, I'm wiped."

"If you don't tell Pepper about this, I'll pay for whatever you and Jane decide to get her," Tony wheedled.

Grinning, Darcy shook Tony's hand. "Done! And, shopping is done!"

=====

Pepper was very happy with the custom made Christain Louboutin shoes from Tony. Mostly because Tony actually found and bought her a gift.

And, she thought the spa weekend from Jane and Darcy was quite nice as well...

To Chapter 2 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ninjababe:228590 Fic: Normality is Overrated 1/1 2012-09-18T18:18:56Z 2012-09-25T18:48:29Z This popped into my head, full-formed this morning. I'm probably going to do more with this, I'm already getting ideas.

Not beta-read.

This takes place at the end of the Thor movie.

It's a crossover... with a surprise fandom...

Normality is Overrated

by Ninjababe

The very loud sound of the Scooby-Doo theme song broke the silence that had fallen after the bifrost has closed. Even the SHIELD agents gave a small start to stare at the owner of the phone.

"Crap," Darcy muttered.

Jane raised an eyebrow. "You really think they wouldn't notice?"

"I hoped," Darcy said with a pout.

"We took your cell phone," Agent Coulson pointed out.

Jane shook her head. "You better answer. You know what will happen if you don't."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Darcy replied as she slipped an older model cell phone out of her pocket.

Coulson whirled to point at one of his junior agents. "Did you not search her?"

Darcy rolled her eyes as she answered the phone. "This is Darcy."

"Sir, there was no cell phone on her person or among her effects, sir," the junior agent replied, a bit wide-eyed.

"It's magic," Darcy told the agents before turning back to her phone. "Yes, I'm listening. But... I didn't...." She kept trying to interrupt the ranting on the other end of the phone. "Look!" she finally exclaimed. "How was I to know that the drunk idiot I tasered was actually the Norse God of Thunder?"

One of the agents strode forward. "That's classified," he stated as he reached for her phone.

Without looking, Darcy grabbed the agent by the wrist and held him at arms length.

"Sir, I can't release her grip," the agent said as he tried to pry her fingers open with his free hand.

Darcy continued to rant into the phone, ignoring the agent she held captive. "And, how was I to know that said god, and yes, his name really is Thor, would end up fighting a giant, alien robot? I was fine. I didn't go near the robot. I helped evacuate the town."

Coulson quirked an eyebrow as Darcy quietly listened to whatever the person on the other end of the phone said.

"Do I have to?" Darcy whined. "But, I don't want to work with SHIELD. Yes, I do want to keep working with Jane. Okay, fine. I get it. Talk to you later."

Closing the cell phone and putting it back into her pocket, she turned to her captured agent. "It's rude to try to take a person's phone when they're on it." Letting the agent go, she turned to Jane. "They're not very happy with me."

"I bet," Jane said with a smile of encouragement. "So?"

"You're going to continue your bridge research, and there's no way SHIELD won't help you with that," Darcy said before turning to Coulson. "Is there?"

"SHIELD sees that Dr Foster's research is a valuable avenue to study," Coulson replied.

"Yeah.... Right," Darcy said before taking a deep breath. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a business card. "Thor wasn't the only one not being totally honest with you. I'm Darcy Lewis, semi-retired Slayer of the New Watchers Council," she said as she handed Agent Coulson the card. "You can call the Council at that number to get my credentials."

"Semi-retired?" Coulson asked as he pocketed the card.

"You're not retired until your dead," Darcy said with a shrug before sighing. "I really just wanted to be normal."

Jane patted her on the shoulder. "Honey, you taser vampires for fun."

Darcy gave a quick flash of a grin. "It's awesome when they burst into flames. Plus, it gives you time to mug them before staking."

"What's going on?" Erik asked, joining the conversation, looking very confused.

"We'll explain on the way back to town," Darcy replied. "I'm just hoping Norse Gods are the most exciting thing in my life from now on."

=====

I have no idea where this came from...

I'm basing this of the Buffy tv series only, as that is how for into cannon I got. So, I'm jumping off from there.

Comments craved.

This is now a series, called Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired).

Chapter 1 of Part two is herehttp://ninjababe.livejournal.com/228689.html.