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Mary Ellen Slayter
Washington Post columnist
Monday, May 22, 2006 2:00 PM
The Washington area is a magnet for smart, ambitious young workers. Post columnist Mary Ellen Slayter writes a regular column for these professionals who are establishing their careers locally, and offers advice online as well.
Read Mary Ellen's latest
Find more career-related news and advice in our
The transcript follows below.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Good afternoon!
Lots of questions and comments, most of them about my column on flip-flops at the office. You know my stance on the matter (it's a major pet peeve), but I'm happy to hear (and share) alternative thoughts as well.
Washington, D.C.: Mary Ellen,
Thanks for your "unpopular" take on flip-flops as commuting or work attire. I couldn't agree more that they are exactly the wrong choice for anywhere but home or the beach. I've yet to meet a fellow employer who has anything but negative things to say about how they look (and sound), not to mention the impression they convey of the wearer.
washingtonpost.com: Here's Mary Ellen's article: Avoid the Flip-Flop Flap and Join the Well-Heeled , (Post, May 21)
Mary Ellen Slayter: A kindred spirit! And a link to my original rant.
Arlington, Va.: While I agree with your Sunday article regarding the wearing of flip-flops in the office, I must tell you that my boss and her second in command wear flip-flops most of the year. My boss's boss wears flip-flops. And my boss has ridiculed those who think flip-flops are not right for the office. She's had four promotions in one year so they haven't slowed her down. I'm just saying.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Maybe we can send all the diehard flip-flop wearers to work for her then!
Gaithersburg, Md.: May I ask an ethical or even silly question? I cannot locate the disk I kept my resume on. Is it ok to ask HR for a copy of the resume they have on file for me so that I can make a copy?
Mary Ellen Slayter: Did you forget what you put on it? This is why it's very important not to make things up on your resume. It can be so hard to keep your stories straight.
Just kidding!
It will make you look a bit silly, but I guess the alternative is even less appealing to you: writing up a new resume. Next time, make more than one copy. I have one on my laptop, one on a flash stick, one on the Web, one that I've emailed myself to my gmail accounts, and so on. The whole world would have to send for me not to have a copy of my resume.
Baltimore, Md.: I'm finishing my BA this week and heading off to grad school in the fall (a master's in Classics, with PhD to follow). While I'm quite confident I want to go down the academic route, I have a tiny bit of anxiety about what seems like a career commitment. Is there a point at which I've spent so much time in grad school that I've locked myself out of non- academic careers?
Mary Ellen Slayter: Nope. Most people who head into academia at first don't wind up working there for the long haul. If it doesn't work out for you, you'll be in good company. Just try not to borrow your life's earnings over the next six years.
Washington, D.C.: Dear Mary Ellen:
I want to get a graduate certificate in PR. I want to become a Public Affairs Specialist in the Federal Government.
Currently, I am a secretary in the federal government, and I really want to switch to the public affairs field, because I'm more interested in this field.
However, I also found out that I could roll over my certificate credits to a master's degree in public policy, but I really don't know if I could do school for another year, when getting a grad certificate is faster and cheaper.
My question is: do you think that the grad certificate will carry the same weight? I found that most public affairs positions in the federal government want you to have at least a year's worth of grad courses if you are like me and don't really have two to five years of public affairs experience.
What to do?
P.S. I must admit though, I read your May 8, 2006, chat and agree that we all should relax. I'm 27 by the way, and I didn't realize the importance of relaxing until I suffered an anxiety attack on Mother's Day weekend.
washingtonpost.com: And here's that May 8 chat for reference...
Mary Ellen Slayter: Since you're already a federal worker, why don't you ask someone who would be doing the hiring for one of the positions you're interested in. They should be able to tell you what kind of education and experience would make you most competitive.
Austin, Texas: Hi Mary Ellen,
I just graduated from business school and I am looking for a job. I am using the typical job search resources, but wanted to get your opinion on using a head hunter. I don't know anything about where to start and how to choose the best one for me, so any info you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Well, first keep in mind that headhunters don't work for you. They work for the companies that need positions filled. So choosing the "best one" for you isn't really the issue. Instead, research recruiters who work in your desired field and get your resume in their hands. You don't pay them, and you're not limited to just one.
Maryland: I graduated a year ago and started working out of school almost immediately.
I'm considering looking for a new job. My questions is two-fold. First, what do I put on my resume? Do I keep all my internships from college on it considering I've only got a year of experience under my belt? Secondly, do I let my employer know I'm searching for a new job or do I keep that hush hush? The reason I ask is I don't feel entirely comfortable taking days off to go on interviews only to lie to my current employer about why I need off. I'm not sure what the appropriate etiquette is in this situation.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Yes, you include your internships
No, you don't tell your boss you're looking. Schedule the interviews early or late in the day, or at lunch. The best solution is to take a vacation day.
Alexandria, Va.: Every time I go to my boss office to get a question answered (and it's not too often when I go), I usually have to 15 minutes of sitting there while she answers her phone and cleans out her mailbox to get an answer. Should I be bothered? This happens every time.
Mary Ellen Slayter: If it's not that often, I would let it go.
If it's every day, I'd give her a call to let her know you're coming. If she still seems busy, ask if you should come back later. That should prompt her to give you her full attention.
Miami, Fla.: I graduated in 2005 and have been temping for one year at the same organization. I will start law school in the fall and my supervisor is aware of my departure. Am I required to write a letter of resignation?
Mary Ellen Slayter: As a temp? No, I don't think so. As long as the temp agency knows you're leaving, that should be sufficient.
FLIP FLOP FIX -- RE: Your article!: Mary Ellen,
Good article this weekend! I agree, perception is reality and flip-flops, for the sake of comfort, don't cut it in the workplace -- though I have tried, with regret. BUT, I have found a perfect solution. I was in Carbon this weekend and bought really cute, work appropriate COMFORTABLE shoes! Miz Mooz, they are low-key enough for the office, comfortable enough for the Metro and I broke them out for happy hour! Sharing the love -- www.CarbonDC.com.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Those shoes are very cute!
Washington, D.C.: What do you do when you are at an interview and realize you do not want the job? Do you continue to smile, nod, and assert your skills or when they ask "does this sound interesting to you" do you answer "no" and leave? It seems rude to just up and leave, but then it seems the only alternative is to lie. Thanks for your help!
Mary Ellen Slayter: Be polite, go through the motions. Consider it practice for future interviews. Decline any further interviews if they call you back.
Northwest D.C.: I am an experienced worker (41 years of work experience in gov't, private industry, and law firms) in only a support staff level. I am currently assigned to work for a senior partner who is extremely disorganized, absent-minded, and probably attention deficit as well. He's also very dependent on his assistant to keep him organized. He inserts comments into his instructions that have nothing to do with the subject at hand. (For instance, he asked me to set up a conference call with a client, commented London time so it would have to be at a certain time convenient for all parties. NOBODY ON THE CALL WAS IN LONDON!) I followed a disorganized person who sat at this desk before. First off, it's difficult taking on a new supervisor to begin with. But to follow another disorganized person is a double whammy. I feel like I'm stamping out forest fires all day. Now he's denying me vacation days which I must use or lose before the end of June. (I call them mental health days.) One previous supervisor at this office drove me to ulcers. Should I let this one drive me nuts as well?
Mary Ellen Slayter: No job is worth an ulcer. I'd look someplace new.
Arlington, Va.: I was thinking about getting my resume redone professionally but wonder if it is worth the cost and, if so, where would be a good place to do this? Is Monster's service worthwhile or is it better to work through a local service?
Mary Ellen Slayter: Hire someone locally. There are a lot of good people who do this work, and at good prices.
Flip-flops, NO: One million thank you's for your column on flip-flops yesterday. I don't think it will make a dent on some of the twenty-somethings in my office who just cannot understand what is wrong with wearing flip flops in the office and feel horribly mistreated at being told they can't, but at least I can give them something to read on the subject. Helps that you are a young 'un, too.
Other alternative footwear includes the infinite variety of ballet flats like the kind I am wearing now ...
Mary Ellen Slayter: I like those, too.
Dupont Circle: If flip-flops are unprofessional, what about wacky (purple, blue, etc.) hair colors?
Mary Ellen Slayter: It depends on the office. You can get away with it in more creative places. Law firm or the Hill? No way. Advertising shop? They'll be disappointed if you don't do something somewhat edgy.
I also have to say that I don't see dyed hair and flip flops as quite the same. The dress code "violations" that bug me personally tend to be related to too much skin exposure, not excessive edginess or even casualness. I.e., I'm forgiving of jeans, tattoos and nose rings, but not low-cut tank tops or shoes that don't even cover your feet. (This could just be my Gen X vs Gen Y bias here, of course.)
I used to dye my hair a lot (though the weirdest I went since college was pink.) I never did it at a job interview. Now that my job involves meeting with outside people more often, I don't do it at all. Though honestly, I just got tired of the upkeep/outgrew it. I think that's what happens with most people in terms of super-casual college-type clothes, as well.
Washington, D.C.: Mary Ellen,
I always admire your thoughtful and helpful column. I am a recent college graduate working in professional services. After being asked to resign from one position after a brief tenure on account of lack of attention to detail and a "bad attitude," I joined a competitor company. Here, after six months, I was issued a final warning for those same reasons. My friends and family tell me that I may act arrogantly towards my colleagues and superiors, and I try to address that. However, I feel like my current boss is dead set against me and has always been. A nice guy as a person, he seems intent on seeing my work (and relations with colleagues) in the worst possible light. Moreover, he is inconsistent and difficult to communicate with.
I would like to stay with the company I am with but, obviously, want to transfer to a different group. Is there any way I can convince HR or people in another group that my boss is unfair rather than that I am arrogant and inattentive? Seems like a tall order.
Thank you in advance!
Mary Ellen Slayter: Since this has happened twice in a row, I think you need to look at your own behavior more closely, and not get too worked up about making your boss out to be the bad guy. Listen to these two companies that have let you go. Listen to your friends and family.
I'd start looking for another job, but also get yourself to therapy or a career coach. Something's going on here, and you need to fix it sooner rather than later.
Flip-flops, Va.: Gee, I figured that all the flop-clad young ladies were wearing them as commuting shoes (I still don't like it). There are actually people who wear them as work shoes?
I don't think I'm an old fogey at 33, but another shoe faux pas I see is women wearing three-inch evening shoes to work. I don't see this often, fortunately, but come on, where's the sense of propriety?
Mary Ellen Slayter: Yes, people really wear them to work.
You think that's bad ...: If you think flip-flops are bad, you'd have been utterly appalled at something that happened to me last summer.
I bike to work frequently. I came in one morning to the boss in a panic, hair-on-fire, take-care-of-it-NOW emergency. It took a good hour or so to deal with this emergency, but there I was, bopping around the office in my bike jersey, spandex shorts, and cleats, until I had a chance to go to the ladies' room and get changed.
The boss never said a word -- other than to thank me for taking care of the emergency.
Mary Ellen Slayter: That was an emergency. Apples and oranges.
Washington, D.C.:
I have an upcoming interview with a very high ranking senator. It is a committee job. Any words of advice?
Mary Ellen Slayter: Don't wear flip-flops.
When you say no flip-flops : ... do you mean just the rubber ones you can wear in the shower, or ones made of leather, too? Is anything that "thwacks" considered a flip-flop? Incidentally, my boss -- a conservative woman in her late 50s -- is wearing green flip-flops with little rhinestones on them, so quit blaming us twenty-somethings!
Mary Ellen Slayter: I hate all the thwacking shoes! I don't care how fancy they are. If your boss is wearing them, though, you're probably safe to thwack away.
D.C.: The flip-flop rule is easy -- if you have a job where you can wear shorts to work, then you can wear flip-flops. If you wouldn't wear shorts, then you have no business wearing flip-flops. And yes, some jobs are really that casual.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Actually, that sounds completely reasonable to me!
D.C.: For the would-be public affairs specialist ... I am a senior one who does help my boss review the resumes. The grad degree is weighted and does help with the hiring (I don't think it necessarily prepares one for the job though). Proofreading is essential -- we are looking for good writers, editors and communicators and we get a lot of applications, so one too many typos and that will be that. Don't spell the job title wrong (or list the wrong one -- I remember one cover letter that listed some other agency's public affairs specialist opening). Right there you're showing you don't pay attention to detail, which is key.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Thanks for the inside scoop!
Ballston, Va.: Loved your flip-flop article. As you stated in the article, one should look to their superior for guidance for what and what not to wear. What if the supervisor has no clue on that? Today she came in with watermelon capris and her husbands polo (worn out) shirt. May I add, I work for a financial consulting team where most of the employees dress appropriately. I believe my sup. gets away with it because she handles the assistants (lowest on the ladder here).
Mary Ellen Slayter: Pay her no mind. Look to her boss, and your other colleagues for guidance.
RE: The arrogant firee: Your boss probably is just tired of the attitude and wants you gone. After the first warning, you really have to turn it around and be practically perfect. Given that this is likely your third warning, the boss isn't going to go out on a limb for you or try to see your interactions and work in a positive light -- I am guessing he tried that the first few months. Right now, the tide is really against you and you are going to have to work quadruple hard to just stay employed. I also doubt HR is going to assign you somewhere new given you have the crappy track record and not your boss.
And you sound a bit delusional when you think a group change is going to fix this problem. One thing you may want to do is ask for brutally honest 360 degree feedback from everyone you work with and ask for examples. You may find it illuminating and helpful in the next job.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Agreed
RE: Maryland: I am in a similar position as Maryland. My problem is that I work for a university and would be looking to stay within that university setting. My boss is the head of the department in which I work, and I'm worried he'll find out that I'm looking for a job. Plus, I've been a good worker here and would like to use my boss as a reference. What to do?
Mary Ellen Slayter: In that situation, I think you have to go to your boss and ask for his support. Word will most certainly filter back to him that you're applying for this job, and it's better that he hear it from you.
Arlington, Va.: I notice that there is a lot of flip flop attacking in general that is directed at younger workers, but, no one ever goes after the older workers who dress like they rolled out of bed in non-matching clothes that are wrinkled, hair not done, etc., etc. I may drive and walk in flip-flops and work in three inch stilettos, but I look nice everyday and make an effort. It's such a double standard sometimes. Sorry. Just needed to vent.
Mary Ellen Slayter: It's not my job to scold older workers, though! The Post would need a separate column for that.
And stilettos? Don't get that really. But as long as you can walk in them, that's your business. At least they don't make That Noise.
Anonymous: Nothing great to add to the discussion, but what a terrific column this weekend. If the writing hadn't been as good, it would have looked just petty or stupid, but you did a great job getting your message across in an entertaining way.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Glad you liked it!
Petty and Stupid were my nicknames for the first two drafts.
D.C.: Another question -- how is wearing sneakers/tennis shoes while commuting any different than wearing flip flops? (Assuming in both cases the wearer changes into work shoes upon arriving at the office).
Mary Ellen Slayter: Honestly, I don't care as much about the commuting in flip-flops.
Mainly, though, I don't get the shoe change thing, for sneakers or flip-flops. Every single pair of shoes I wear to work are professional AND comfortable. None have more than an inch and half heel. I've got high heels, but those are for dates, not the office.
This isn't that hard for me. I must be missing something.
RE: Flip-flops: Serious question time: I have two pairs of sandals that yes, make flip-flop sounds, but they aren't flip-flops, they're just regular sandals. Would you consider those inappropriate as well? (Mainly asking for curiosity, since they're allowed by our dress code, as I work in a very casual office).
Mary Ellen Slayter: They would bug me, in the same way stupid ring tones bug me when people leave their phones at their desk while they step away for an hour.
But if the sandals are allowed in your office, you're obviously fine.
A whole office of that noise. My nightmare.
Falls Church, Va.: For the classical studies PhD-er: pure academic study is a noble calling, but if he or she is borrowing even a cent to pay for it, reevaluate your situation. Borrowing for law, medical, or business school may pay off, but borrowing for the humanities will cause nothing but pain. Either get a full ride (which you should, if you are good enough), or pay your own way. Any while an MA may open doors in the non-academic world if and when you seek a job, a PhD may close them.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Yep to most of those. I don't think a PhD is going to make them unemployable though.
Mary Ellen Slayter: Thanks for the lively discussion. See y'all next month!
Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions. washingtonpost.com is not responsible for any content posted by third parties.
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Question: What professional standards require accounting firms to develop quality controls
What professional standards require accounting firms to develop quality controls for their audit practices? What key issues should such quality controls address? In commenting on Deloitte's quality controls, the PCAOB referred to the "culture" of that firm. What are the key factors or conditions that influence the "culture" within an accounting firm's audit practice?
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Answer to relevant QuestionsDo you believe that the PCAOB overstepped its regulatory role and responsibilities by beginning a dialogue regarding the possible need for mandatory audit firm rotation? Why or why not? Do you agree with U.S. Representative ...When auditor–client disputes arise during an audit engagement, another accounting firm is sometimes retained by the client and/or the existing auditor to provide an objective report on the issue at the center of the ...Describe the general nature and purpose of a "walk- through" audit procedure. Are such tests required by professional auditing standards? Analyze Take- Two's 1998-2000 financial data included in Exhibit 1. Compute the following financial ratios for each of those years: age of accounts receivable, age of inventory, gross profit percentage, profit margin ...Do you believe that Deloitte behaved properly by accepting GM's decision to apply a 6.75 percent discount rate to its pension liabilities? What, if any, other steps or measures should Deloitte have taken under the ...
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Let us know when your receive great advice so we can thank our lawyers and point others with similar questions in the right direction.Got it!
I had a store credit card with Target in 2005, which they converted to Target Visa around 2007. I was paying my bill on time, but in 2009 I lost my job and then had to file disability. By July 2010, when I got off disability, I found out my debt was transferred to CIR Law Services. My total was now over $4000, most of it due to fees. When I tried to contact CIR, they could not work out a reasonable payment plan, asking for $500 and $1000 payments I could not afford. By now, the debt is over $5000. Yesterday, I checked my bank balance and found out that my accounts have been levied. The money I use to pay my rent, my child support payments and money for bills are gone.Is there any recourse against it, and if not, can they do it more than once? What should I expect? Thank you in advance.One of the accounts levied is a joint one with my husband. When I tried to contact CIR again and Target National Bank, they kept sending me to each other; also, they said nothing could be changed/stopped because the sheriff has been involved - unless I pay the full amount of debt. I can't do that, obviously. Thank you again.
Your options to this default judgment are in my blog posting, below. The first step is either file a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, which would discharge the lawsuit and probably refund all levied funds, or file with the levying officer a Judicial Council form for claim of exemption and the financial statement form. The forms are linked below and you can prepare them for free at the link, then press print and sign and take enough copies to the levying officer that enforced the levy.
If the funds were directly deposited from an exempt source, such as government assistance, then the bank should not have allowed any money to have been levied, if all of it was from that exempt source. However, now you need to file the exemption forms to get the funds returned, and it will be subject to the judge's review of your financial situation, unless you file bankruptcy.
Robert Stempler (please see DISCLAIMER below)
Twitter: @RStempler
NOTICE: The above statements are provided for general information purposes only and are not intended as legal advice or advice of any sort for a specific case or legal matter. If you do not have a signed attorney-client fee agreement with the Consumer Law Office of Robert Stempler, APC ("the Firm"), then until such written fee agreement is provided and signed by both a prospective client and attorney for a particular case, neither Mr. Stempler nor the Firm will represent you nor will they be your attorney in any matter and you remain responsible for retaining your own attorney and for compliance with any and all deadlines and for any statutes of limitations that may pertain to potential claims. Comments made on a public forum, such as Avvo.com, to not have any confidentiality because others may read them. If you desire a private consultation with Mr. Stempler that is confidential, please go to www.StopCollectionLawsuits.com and submit a free eCase Review. The result portrayed for a client was dependent on the facts of that case. Results will differ if based on different facts. The Firm and Mr. Stempler are a debt relief agency. The Firm and Mr. Stempler help people file for bankruptcy relief under the Bankruptcy Code.Ask a similar question
Unfortunately your inability to pay your bills isn't a legal defense to a breach of contract claim. They don't have to accept a payment plan that you can actually abide by, and they don't have to be reasonable, they're entitled to enforce the contract you agreed to, including tacking on their late fees and interest. From their perspective, they didn't hold a gun to your head and force you to spend their money and not pay it back.
But they can't just levy your bank account, and accounts you jointly hold with your spouse. To garnish your bank account, your creditor had to sue you and win their lawsuit, get a judgment, and now they're executing on it. If you never got notice of a lawsuit, then they may not have served you properly. Your best bet is to hire a litigator to see if you can "set aside" this judgment and stop the garnishment.
Avvo doesn't pay us for these responses, and I'm not your lawyer just because I answer this question or respond to any follow-up comments. If you want to hire me, please contact me. Otherwise, please don't expect a further response. We need an actual written agreement to form an attorney-client relationship. I'm only licensed in CA and you shouldn't rely on this answer, since each state has different laws, each situation is fact specific, and it's impossible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and documents at issue.Ask a similar question
Thank you for your answer. I wanted to clarify - is the levy a one-time thing, or is the creditor allowed to come back for "seconds, thirds" etc....? Is my bank account open to that garnishment/levy from now until the balance is paid off? Or is a levy a one-time thing? Thank you again...
The Writ that the creditor is executing on is good for 180 days in that county. And then they can get a new one in the same county. And they can keep doing that til they're paid off.
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Jared Leto's guillotine
Jared Leto has a guillotine in his house "for people who misbehave".
The 'Suicide Squad' actor - who plays The Joker in the upcoming movie - owns a 100,000 square foot former secret Air Force base in Los Angeles which he describes as a "poor man's Playboy Mansion".
He said: "It's unconventional. But I think when I'm done with it, it's going to be pretty homey. Well, it's not going to be someone's grandmother's house, but it will be a fun place to live. It's like a giant playground.
"It's the poor man's Playboy Mansion."
Jared's home previously had 250 members of staff working inside when it was still an Air Force base and some were working with atomic tests.
The plush pad contains photographs of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Lee, a gym - where he worked out while in character as The Joker - and a control tower four stories high which boasts incredible views.
While Jared's guests will have to make sure they don't misbehave in his house for fear of his guillotine, the star admitted he wasn't the best behaved during his younger days and said running away from the police is one of the "greater" feelings he's experienced.
He explained: "I was always really fast. I guess there were some undercover cops at one store, and they came out running after us. My friend ran out of steam and kind of slowed down.
"They grabbed him and threw him to the ground, and I just kept running. There are few greater feelings in the world than running from the police and getting away."
As well as shoplifting, 44-year-old star used to do "lots" of drugs as a youngster but turned away from that life when he saw "too many examples of what not to do", despite enjoying taking them.
He added to Rolling Stone magazine: "I did them, lots of them. A lot of them were really fun. There are just those few that tend to kick you in the ass. I guess at some point, too, there's a decision: Is this going to be my life? I made a choice to pursue other dreams.
"I guess that's just the kind of f**ked thing about a lot of drugs: The opportunity cost is too high. Some drugs are incredible, but the risk versus reward is out of line. I just saw too many examples of what not to do."


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Figures reveal dangers of 'hook-up' apps such as Tinder and Grindr
The number of alleged crimes potentially involving people's use of dating apps Tinder and Grindr increased more than sevenfold in two years – including reports of rape, grooming and attempted murder.
Experts in the UK said the findings were "shocking" and urged the authorities to launch a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of meeting strangers on so-called hook-up sites.
In September 2014, gardaí said officers in Dublin had arrested a man on suspicion of raping a woman he met through Tinder.
Just 55 reports of crimes in England and Wales mentioned Grindr or Tinder in 2013, according to figures released to the Press Association under the Freedom of Information Act.
This jumped to 204 in 2014 and 412 in the year to October 2015, according to the 30 police forces who gave figures.
There were 277 crime reports in which Tinder was mentioned in 2015 - up from 21 in 2013. And 135 alleged crimes in which Grindr was mentioned were recorded in 2015, up from 34 reported in 2013.
Tinder is used predominately by heterosexual daters while Grindr is a gay dating app.
Reports of violent and sexual crimes were the most common, with 253 allegations of violence against the person and 152 reports of sex offences, including grooming, rapes and the sexual exploitation of children.
The figures come from police reports where the apps are mentioned in the crime report and does not automatically mean the app was used directly by the criminal.
But there have been documented cases in which they were.
The figures come from police reports where Tinder and Grindr has been used in the description of an allegation. This can refer to cases where they were allegedly used to commit a crime, where the victim and suspect met on the app, or where the app was mentioned but was not directly related to the crime - for example when a victim happened to be on Tinder when the crime was committed.
The UK forces which provided figures did not give a breakdown of the different situations.
Grindr and Tinder did not reply to requests for a comment.
- Press Association


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ericsp I'm a teacher and I work on Wikipedia a lot these days. I also do work on East Timor solidarity stuff. See http://www.aideasttimor.org for details.
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The Nagorny Karabakh autonomous oblast of the Azerbaijan SSR
In response to territorial claims of the Armenian SSR regarding Nagorny Karabakh, on 5 July 1921, the Caucasian Bureau of the Central Committee of the Russian Communist (bolshevik) Party decided that:
The decision of 5 July 1921 was the final and binding ruling which would be repeatedly affirmed by the Soviet leadership and recognized by Armenia over the years. Despite Nagorny Karabakh was retained within Azerbaijan, it was given the status of autonomy, though more than half-a-million strong Azerbaijani community compactly resided in Armenia at that time was refused the same privilege.
On 7 July 1923, the Central Executive Committee of the Azerbaijan SSR issued a Decree "On the Formation of the Nagorny Karabakh Autonomous Oblast". The town of Khankandi was defined as the administrative centre of the autonomy. In September 1923, the name of the town was changed to Stepanakert after Stepan Shaumian, dashnak and "bolshevik" leader.
The administrative borders of the Nagorny Karabakh Autonomous Oblast (hereinafter – NKAO) were defined in a way to ensure that the Armenian population constituted a majority. According to the population census of 12 January 1989, the population of the autonomous oblast was around 189,000 persons; of them: around 139,000 Armenians – 73,5 %, around 48,000 Azerbaijanis – 25,3 %, around 2000 representatives of other nationalities – 1,2 %.
The status of Nagorny Karabakh as an autonomous oblast within the Azerbaijan SSR was stipulated in the USSR Constitutions of 1936 and 1977. In accordance with the Constitutions of the USSR and the Azerbaijan SSR, the legal status of the NKAO was governed by the Law "On the Nagorny Karabakh Autonomous Oblast" adopted by the Supreme Soviet of the Azerbaijan SSR on 16 June 1981. Under the Constitution of the USSR, the NKAO was represented by five deputies in the Council of Nationalities of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR. It was represented by 12 deputies in the Supreme Soviet of the Azerbaijan SSR.
The Soviet of People's Deputies of the NKAO – the government authority in the oblast – had a wide range of powers. It decided all local issues based on the interests of citizens living in the oblast and with reference to its national and other specific features. Armenian was used in the work of all government, administrative and judicial bodies and the Prosecutor's Office, as well as in education, reflecting the language requirements of the Armenian population of the oblast. Local TV and radio broadcasts and the publication of newspapers and magazines in the Armenian language were all guaranteed in the NKAO.
As a national territorial unit, the NKAO enjoyed administrative autonomy, and, accordingly, had a number of rights, which, in practice, ensured that its population's specific needs were met. In fact, statistics illustrate that the NKAO was developing more rapidly than Azerbaijan as a whole. The existence and development of the NKAO within Azerbaijan confirms that the form of autonomy that had evolved fully reflected the specific economic, social, cultural and national characteristics of the population and the way of life in the autonomous oblast.
RESULTS of AGGRESSION by ARMENIA
to the United States of America


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According to a recent report, Android 4.1 and 4.2 versions of Jelly Bean operating system are present in 10% of active hardware globally. With the rise in Jelly Bean market share, Android 2.3 Gingerbread has dipped by 50%. Moreover, the report claims that Android OS is used on three out of every four handsets that were shipped in 2012.
Eventually, the low cost tech manufacturers have started adopting Android 4.1 Jelly Bean on to their budget smartphones and tablets. Recently, the Indian smartphone arena has attested several such launches from both global and native manufacturers.
Over the last week, the Indian smartphone market segment saw three such launches including Samsung Galaxy Grand, Micromax A116 Canvas HD and Karbonn Smart Titanium 1.
Talking about Karbonn handset, when it comes to specs, Smart Titanium 1 boasts a 4.5 inch qHD multi-touch capacitive touchscreen display with 960 x 540 pixel resolution, 1.2GHz quad core Qualcomm Snapdragon processor, 1GB RAM, 4GB internal storage, micro SD card slot, Android 4.1 Jelly Bean OS, 5MP rear camera, VGA front camera, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and a 1,600 mAh battery.
Karbonn Mobiles has announced the pre-order for its first Jelly Bean based smartphone - Smart Titanium 1 on its official website at a price of Rs 10,990.
It could be surprising to see a Jelly Bean and quad core based smartphone at Rs 10,990, however, Karbonn is not the only one to come up with high-end handsets at budget price points. Even other manufacturers are coming up with Jelly Bean and Windows Phone 8 offerings at attractive price points.
Consequently, Gizbot has come up with 5 best competitors of Karbonn Smart Titanium 1 in order to offer an in-depth knowledge of all the mid-range smartphones that come with advanced specs.
Take a tour over the slideshow below to get yourself updated on the rivals of the Karbonn's quad core handset.
Micromax A116 Canvas HD
Micromax A116 Canvas HD
Micromax has launched its first quad core Jelly Bean phablet - A116 Canvas HD housing a 5 inch HD IPS capacitive touchscreen display with a resolution of 1280 x 720 pixels, 1.2GHz quad core MediaTek MT6589 processor, 8MP rear camera, VGA front camera for video calling, 4GB internal storage, 1GB RAM, micro SD card slot supporting up to 32GB additional storage, 3G, WiFi 802.11 b/g/n, Bluetooth and a 2,100 mAh battery.
Estimated to be priced at Rs 14,999, the Micromax phablet with a better display and improved camera performance, could be a stiff competitor to Smart Titanium 1.
Samsung Galaxy Grand
Samsung Galaxy Grand
Samsung has also launched a dual SIM phablet priced at Rs 21,500 - Galaxy Grand packing a 5 inch multi-touch LCD capacitive touchscreen display with a very low resolution of 480 x 800 pixels, dual core 1.2GHz processor, Android 4.1 Jelly Bean OS, 8MP rear camera, 2MP front camera for video calling, 8GB internal storage capacity, 1GB RAM, micro SD card slot supporting up to 64GB additional storage, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, USB, HDMI, A-GPS, DLNA and a 2,100 mAh Li-ion battery.
With better front and rear cameras and increased internal storage capacity, the Samsung device could be a tough challenger to the Karbonn smartphone with a quad core processor.
Nokia Lumia 620
Nokia Lumia 620
Lumia 620 comes with a 3.8 inch WVGA capacitive touchscreen display, 1GHz dual core Qualcomm Snapdragon S4 processor, 512MB RAM, 8GB internal storage, 5MP rear camera, VGA front camera, NFC, Wi-Fi, NFC, Bluetooth and 1,300 mAh battery. Lumia 620 will come in Magenta, Yellow, Cyan, White and Black color variants.
At the launch event of Lumia 920 and Lumia 820, Nokia claimed that Lumia 620 will be released into the market in the first week of February. Further, media reports speculate that the handset will be released with an estimated price tag of Rs 16,000 approximately.
Spice Stellar Virtuoso Mi-495
Spice Stellar Virtuoso Mi-495
Stellar Virtuoso running on Android 4.0 ICS operating system is a dual SIM smartphone with a 4.5 inch qHD IPS capacitive touchscreen display, 1GHz dual core processor, 8MP rear camera, 1GB RAM, micro SD card slot supporting expandable storage support, VGA front camera for video calling, 3G, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and a 1,700 mAh battery.
Priced at Rs 10,499, the handset could be a potential rival to the similarly priced Karbonn Titanium smartphone as it comes with better camera, while the latter has Jelly Bean OS and quad core processor.
Lava Xolo A800
Lava Xolo A800
Xolo A800 features a 4.5 inch IPS capacitive touchscreen display with 960 x 540 pixel resolution, 1GHz dual-core MediaTek MT6577 processor, Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich OS, 8MP rear camera with autofocus and LED flash, VGA front facing camera for video chatting, 512MB RAM, 4GB internal storage and expandable memory option up to 32GB via microSD card.
Further, the handset comes packed with connectivity features including 3G HSPA 7.2Mbps, WiFi 802.11 b/g/n, Bluetooth v2.1, aGPS and micro USB 2.0 and is loaded with a 1,600 mAh battery and is priced at Rs 11,999.
With an expensive price tag and better camera performance, Xolo A800 can be a competitor to the Karbonn offering.


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I went to the Huckabee rally at the college in Henniker Friday, the results:
- 30-35% press out of about 400 people there.
- Lots of 30 somethings with kids in tow.
- Huckabee is a humble guy who shares the stage and is a natural campaigner.
- The college kiddies appear to still be on Christmas break.
- 40 year old white men should not wear dreadlocks even if it is in a Mowhawk or wrapped in a beach towel.
- Chuck Norris's wife is a hottie, Chuck is a sincere campaigner and was a big hit.
- The more I see of the media the less I like them.
- NH Senator Clegg has lost enough weight he will soon be able to borrow Mike Huckabee's clothes.
- Nice event, family oriented, upbeat, fun.
- The libs roaming around were having a tough time keeping the smug look on their faces and not looking like sore thumbs.
- There was not a lot of "evangelical oppression" going on as some would like voters to believe.
My only suggestions to Mike Huckabee:
- If only for a few seconds just put the guitar behind your head and play a few notes like Jimi Hendrix and you will seal the deal.
- Don't listen to professional campaign gurus. Be yourself its refreshing.


text: Politics 30 August 2010 Disney and Time Warner close to settlement over program fees The two media giants had clashed over Disney's plans to increase its fees for the cable company's di Sign up for our weekly email * The Walt Disney Company and Time Warner Cable (TWC) are close to striking a deal over a new distribution contract for Disney-owned television channels, say reports citing sources familiar with the talks. The two companies have been negotiating the matter for a long time. TWC is opposed to Disney's plans to increase its fees for the cable company's distributing ABC, Disney and ESPN networks. However, a joint statement released late Saturday read that the two companies have made significant progress in reaching an understanding over programming fees that TWC will pay Disney for delivering its channels to US homes. The announcement comes ahead of TWC's renewal of its contract with Disney, which is to expire this Thursday. According to the Wall Street Journal, both the companies have agreed to retract their marketing campaigns - using print, television and radio ads, and websites - which have aimed to persuade public opinion in their favour. Both the TWC's rolloverorgettough.com and Disney's ihavechoices.com websites have been updated to include the joint statement announcing "significant progress". Subscribe from just £1 per issue More


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The hits just keep coming on from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA).
Just look at two recent reports.
1. A quadruple amputee Marine shot himself after being told by the VA crisis hotline to 'call back when he was less irate'. Fortunately, he didn't succeed but he obviously didn't get the help he needed when he called. It shouldn't have mattered, but he was one of only five quadruple amputee soldiers to survive after serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And…
2. Despite 480,000 veterans continuing to remain waiting in excess 30 days to get an appointment with a V.A. doctor, "One of every two bonuses continued to flow to the same people who collected bonuses during the scandal."
Now we learn that that VA has been violating federal law!
In 2008, both the Office of Personnel Management and the Department of Defense directed all agencies "to exempt combat-related therapy from background screenings into a federal job candidate's mental health." But the VA has continually asked the question.
How you might ask? Because the "the VA avoids the change by using a 20-year-old form for its background checks." Regardless, this violates federal law!
The VA continually flaunts itself against the veterans with whom it was formed to serve. Wikipedia states, "The VA's primary function is to support veterans in their time after service by providing benefits and support."
Question: how does the VA meet this definition when they are intentionally violating federal law?
Answer: It doesn't.
Question: why does the VA do it?
Answer: because it can.
Last year, Jonah Goldberg penned an editorial entitled, "It's Time to Get Rid of the VA".
Now that's a great idea! Of course, Congress would have to get involved.
But wait a minute! What was anyone thinking: the Senate hasn't even passed S. 1082, the 2015 VA Accountability Act. It's still stuck in limbo.
Mr. Goldberg: your great idea at this point in time is just wishful thinking.
Maybe our next president will be someone who keeps mentioning his support of our veterans and who even donated $1 million of his own money to veteran charities.
Now that would change "wishful thinking" into absolute success!
As NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs would say, "Oorah!"


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Discussion in 'General Global Topics' started by Ringel05, Jul 29, 2011.
BBC News - Honduras finds 2.5 tonnes cocaine in submarine
Fishermen haul in cartel drugs floating in the Gulf of Mexico off Florida...
Destin fishermen find $2.5M in cartel drugs floating in Gulf
June 13, 2013 | Some fishermen in the Gulf of Mexico off Destin, Fla., reeled in a major haul Wednesday - 25 kilograms of cocaine with a street value of $2.5 million, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office.
Armed Coast Guard helicopter busts cocaine runners...
4 held in Caribbean coke bust carried out by armed Coast Guard helicopter
July 21, 2013 The U.S. Coast Guard unloaded 2,300 pounds of cocaine seized this week in the central Caribbean, displaying the bales of drugs valued at $35 million during a press conference in Miami Beach, Fla., on Saturday.
France busts record cocaine haul...
Record cocaine haul discovered on Air France plane
Mon, Sep 23, 2013 - French police have seized a record haul of 1.3 tonnes of pure cocaine found on board an Air France passenger plane, French Minister on the Interior Manuel Valls said on Saturday.
Another big ol' cocaine bust...
Almost 2 tons of cocaine seized off Puerto Rico coast
Wed Apr 2, 2014 - A 1.8 ton cocaine shipment worth an estimated $50 million that was thought to be destined for the U.S. market was seized off the coast of Puerto Rico, federal authorities said on Wednesday, in one of the largest drug busts there in recent years.
Brazil makes biggest ever drug seizure...
Biggest-ever drug seizure made
Tue, Dec 06, 2016 - WHITE CHRISTMAS: The haul, concealed inside lead containers made to look like car batteries, was enough to supply about 11 million people, according to officials
Separate names with a comma.


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So yesterday the same exact two people showed up my door as last week.
- 176 Replies
These two people have showed up a total of 6 times this summer. The same short gray haired lady and the same tall red haired man holding their bibles and trying to talk to me about going to their church. The first time I was very polite, and told them thank you but no thank you. We don't go to church. And I shook their hands and said, thank you for your concern, but no.
The second time I was more stern and said, no thank you, I said no. At the beginning of their little come to our church. The woman was like aw... Why not? You may really like it, and we have a great Sunday school for them. I said, NO THANK YOU WE DO NOT GO TO CHURCH. I RESPECT YOUR BELIEFS, PLEASE RESPECT MINE. And I said have a good day.
The third time, I was a bit more perturbed. I said, I have told you no two times. I have been fairly polite, and now I am beginning to become annoyed. I want you to leave. The lady said, Take these pamphlets, that is all we came for. It's about JESUS'S LOVE! I said no, and if you leave them on my porch, that is littering, so please go! They left, but later that day I found the pamphlets IN MY MAILBOX!
Very funny ma'am. I said NOT ON MY PORCH, so you stick your shit in my mailbox! Okay now I am really getting mad!
Time number four, I looked through the peephole knowing I wasn't expecting anyone, and there they were. So I ran to my tv stand, where I had left their precious pamphlets, opened the door and threw the papers at them. The man was like, "Why did you do that?!" I yelled, "BECAUSE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE THEM HERE!" The woman said, "You told us not to leave them on the porch, we didn't." I said, "Well I saved them for you, so give them to a new loving home!" She started in about how my kids not knowing God would affect them their entire lives, so I explained, that yes, my kids would never be losers walking around with pamphlets when they are old enough to have lives. They said there was no need to be rude. I said get the fuck off my property and don't come back! The lady said I have pent up anger, and I could meet with a priest at the church about it. I told her to go fuck the man with her, and slammed the door in their faces! I heard as I slammed that door, the man say God still loves you! I yelled back through the door, if he is so great you can have him!
Time number 5, before I could stop my youngest child he opened the door. The lady and man were there. The man said is your mommy home, we want to talk to her about saving your soul. I ran up, and moved my child aside. My child said, Who is that mommy? I said, these people are insane honey and belong in an insane asylum where they can get the help they deserve. My child giggled. The woman said it wasn't nice to tell my child lies. I said I didn't lie, you are nuts. Get the hell off my property. The man said at least you are beginning to believe. I said WHAT? He said, you are talking about hell so if there is a hell there must be a??? he asked me. I looked at him, turned and saw a rolled up newspaper on the little hall table. I grabbed it and began hitting him with it, like a bad dog who had pissed on the carpet. He backed off after the first couple of hits. He was like, that is assault! I said, you are on my property and are unwanted here and you keep coming back! You have frightened my child! My child was laughing and said no they are funny! I said SHUSH SWEETIE! I said come back and I will have a rabid pittbull in the yard waiting for you, get OUT! As I slammed the door I heard the lady say "I KNOW THAT IS THE DEVIL TALKING! GOD STILL LOVES YOU!"
So this last time when they showed at the door, I was ready. They always come around the same time, on the same days. I was STARK NAKED! I had drawn a pentagram on my porch. I was covered in blood from hamburger meat. I had my period, that was just luck, and the blood was running down my legs. I was holding a small knife. I opened the door. They gasped! The woman put her hand over the man's eyes. I smiled, and sad, "YOU GUYS HERE FOR THE GOAT SLAUGHTERING?!" They just backed slowly off of my porch. They didn't say a word. Once out of my gate, they began to run.
BYE BYE PSYCHOS! You won't be missed!
lol, after them being on my pourch the SECOND time i would have asked if them if they wanted to learn about my lord, satan, hahahahahahaha


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Laurie Cowled Scholarship
For a female Australian Indigenous student; valued at up to $20,000 to cover the cost of tuition and some living expenses. Awarded on the basis of financial need and academic merit.
Value and duration
The Recipient will receive a total Scholarship value of $20,000 over two years. The Scholarship payment will go towards tuition fees and a living allowance. For more information please refer to the Conditions of Award
Who is eligible?
To be eligible for the scholarship, an applicant must meet all the following criteria:
- Of Australian Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander descent (must complete a Confirmation of Aboriginality form or provide a statutory declaration); and
- Female; and
- Under 25 years of age at the commencement of the relevant academic year; and
- Commencing or continuing full-time enrolment in an undergraduate degree at UTS; and
- Experiencing financial hardship.
Course area(s)All courses.
Selection process
- Preference will be given to applicants that apply through the Universities Admission Centre (UAC) for an Equity Scholarship therin demonstrate finacial disadvantage.
- Alternatively applicants may provide evidence they are in receipt of a Centrelink benefit, and/or provide a personal statement outlining exceptional financial hardship
- Motivation to succeed in the chosen degree as demonstrated in the scholarship application
- Commitment to benefiting the Indigenous community as demonstrated in the scholarship application
- Academic record (based on ATAR results or previous year's academic results, or equivalent) may be taken into consideration.
Other information
Please read the Conditions of Award for the full conditions of the Scholarship.
Applications for this scholarship are currently closed.
Applications for this Scholarship open progressively from the 1st of November each year. Information on How to Apply will be available during the application period.
Application period
Opening date: 15 December 2016
Closing date: 20 March 2017
For further information contact
Scholarships Office
Phone: +61 2 9514 2527
Email: email@example.com
Jumbunna Indigenous House of Learning
Website: www.jumbunna.uts.edu.au/index


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You can connect to the CrateDB HTTP endpoint with any standard tool, such as curl or httpie, we will be using curl.
The endpoint expects a SQL statement sent as a value associated with the key
stmt, i.e.
curl -sSXPOST 'CLUSTER_IP:4200/_sql?pretty' -d '{"stmt":"select name from sys.cluster"}'
Will connect to a cluster and return basic information about the cluster.
Next Steps


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Woodworking Techniques and Advice
The versatility of veneer
Whether repairing antiques, building one-of-a-kind furniture or laminating curves on cabinets, most woodworkers eventually discover veneer. One's first instinct is to think of it as simply a way to get the most out of rare cuts or species. But veneer serves many functions beyond thrift. It makes life easier when dealing with curves, gives a woodworker access to some very dramatic grains and colors and can be applied to a stable substrate to create wide panels or complex patterns.
Sanding head variations have their roles
There are four basic types of sanding heads and one major hybrid variation that can be applicable to any sanding head type that incorporates a polishing platen.
Saw upkeep should be high on your list
Wednesday, 27 August 2008 15:28
Consistent care and maintenance is necessary to ensure your tool's peak performance for many years to come
Tolerance threshold vital for wide belt sanders
There are several factors that affect a wide belt sander's ability to hold a close thickness tolerance. When a sander is new, with proper operating procedures, any rigid orifice-type machine should reasonably hold plus or minus .005" tolerance. If a machine has been specifically designed and has the right characteristics to hold a close tolerance, thickness tolerances of plus or minus .0025" are achievable. However, within a short period of time (less than one year), certain wear factors require machine maintenance procedures along with proper operating procedures in order to continue to obtain tight thickness tolerances.
Adjustment of wide belt sander can be tricky
In previous issues, we have addressed the following questions:
Page 12 of 19


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- Authors:
- Abstract:
- The issue we wish to explore in this contribution is how relocation of production activities to countries such as India and China influences the organisation of innovation activities in a regional cluster. The study provides an account of the ongoing re-organisation of production activities in the telecommunication cluster in Northern Jutland. Despite that large-scale production activities are quickly disappearing from the area, companies are seem still able to exploit current competencies and explore new technological possibilities - focusing on their ability to develop new applications for their technological know-how and set this into production. The question we seek to explore here is: How do these companies focus innovation - while having no directly involvement in production - engage collaboration partners, orchestrate global production networks and lead product development activities? What managerial skills are called for? What are the strategic challenges development-oriented and often small companies faces from this position?
- Type:
- Conference paper
- Language:
- English
- Published in:
- Ikke Angivet, 2004
- Main Research Area:
- Social science
- Publication Status:
- Published
- Review type:
- Undetermined
- Conference:
- Publisher:
- Handelshøjskolens Forlag
- Submission year:
- 2004
- Scientific Level:
- Scientific
- 2185901786


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Home › Forums › Get Advice, Give Advice › Tablet Madness and Tantrums
This topic contains 53 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Skyblossom 7 months, 1 week ago.
- AuthorPosts
Well Four-Leaf-Clover, at least I prompted you to say something positive about one of his girls. You hadn't done that prior to the last post. So, that's at least some progress. And I hope you realize that there is a big difference between your not-quite divorce and your bf's not quite divorce — you don't have kids; he has kids. You and he are creating a bad environment for his kids.
I hadn't referred to your position that bf should take away the tablets, although now that you mention it, I'll add that 1) it's really none of your business and 2) it's possible that the excessive tablet use is concentrated during your visits and is a way to block out your presence as much as possible.
Whatever the circumstances surrounding your making mashed potatoes with sour cream, a young child not liking the mashed potatoes and voicing that dislike is neither a personal attack upon you or disrespect. In reading letters, when a writer says 'his children regularly disrespect me' and then give an example of disrespect, I assume they are presenting the instance which best makes their case. If the complaint about the mashed potatoes is the best you've got, then you haven't been disrespected at all.
You say that you and bf agree about his children having behavioral issues. But your erased initial post and the follow-ups were literally chock-a-block with your disagreements about how he was parenting.
How nice for you. Of course you see things your way. NEWSFLASH: the rest of the world probably doesn't. If a marriage is fucking over — so much so that you and banging somebody else and routinely fucking up his relationship with his kids… sign the fucking papers. Be a grown up. Something that seems wildly out of favor these days…
Wake up! You seem way less into taking the kids into consideration than you do about ordering them to do exactly what is most convenient for you. Trust me, you won't win any step-parenting awards for that.
Northern Star
You don't see a difference between being separated and being divorced? Here's the difference: You are screwing a man who is still married to the mother of his kids.
Gee, why in the world aren't those kids totally onboard, I wonder?
Also, if you don't like or respect his children, I see no reason why they should like or respect you.
Ron and bittergaymark, I have no words, your posts are really quite ludicrous and bitter.
Legally separated is not the same as being married. I do like and respect his children which is why I am trying to figure all of this out. Wow people!!
Of course you have no words.
It's hard to be confronted with the truth.
You need to take a step back and reassess your behavior here.
Something you seem utterly unwilling to do.
For starters, try cutting the kids a little slack. And stop making every little petty disagreement — MASHED POTATOES! — about you.
To be fair,the person who should be criticized the most is the boyfriend in all this. His kids,his responsibility…
If things don't improv — yeah. He definitely needs to reassess their relationship to be sure.
And his parenting skills
Honestly? I don't think his parenting skills are very well explored in this thread at all. (What do we know, really?) And given the LW constantly edits and or deletes each and every update of hers — she comes across as knowing that she is clearly in the wrong here.
Leah — I'm not convinced bf has awful parenting skills. As Kate commented earlier, at the least the LW can be said to be way on the strict side of the lenient-to-strict opinion scale of how to parent. That she disagrees with her bf's approach does not mean bf is wrong. That at least one of the girls has some very serious problems like holes in wall, does not mean the bf's parenting is bad. The holes were in the girl's mother's wall, not the bf's and the girls seem to be living in a very confusing wonderland since their parents decided to split.
LW — Yes, you are correct that you need to back off. If I were you, I wouldn't visit bf while his daughters are there. The conflict between your and your bf's preferred parenting style cannot help the situation, nor can your belief the kids disrespect you and are spoiled. Your feelings are just another unnecessary ingredient in an already difficult stew. At this point, your views on what these girls need and how they should be parented are utterly irrelevant.
It is up to your bf and his ex to make the breakup of the girls's family as non-traumatic as possible. That means they must work together to have a smooth transition from week to week as they exchange custody. Not simply a conflict-free exchange, but as much similarity as possible in rules and how they are treated as they move from home to home. This is a lot of negotiating for your bf and his ex, but if they both have their children's best interests at heart, they must and will do this. They need to agree upon and get counseling for the troubled girl. All of this is something your bf and his ex need to accomplish together. You have no role in this process. These are not your children and you have no formal or legal relationship to them. You are their father's current gf who sees them a day or two a week more than she ought to.
Divorce is very hard on children. Changing homes every week is exceptionally hard following a divorce. Having your parents' divorce drag on and on, as you hope for reconciliation, and as Dad introduces a new mommy who has severe expectations for your behavior, just seems inhumanly rough.
This isn't your problem and you are a major impediment to a solution. You need to back off. YOung kids should not have to adjust to two different homes, one of which contains a new gf for one or two of the days of your weekly visit. Dad's time should not be split between kids and gf, with gf very obviously feeling cheated and disrespected. That's just a recipe for disaster.
- AuthorPosts


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With season 6 on the horizon ( one month !!! ), maybe it's time to sum up season 5, by listing what we liked and disliked in it. All in all, I enjoyed it, but not as much as season 4. It had great moments, and also shortcomings. The time-travel and "two Lockes" thing was VERY hard to swallow. I like sci-fi a lot, I just didn't expect to see such things in Lost. It worked reasonbaly well, but it demanded more suspension of disbelief than usual for this show.
What didn't work ( for me ) : - Jacob's cabin revealed not to be Jacob's. For writers who claim to have planned everything, it sounds awfully like a big fat retcon. It left me worried for the last season. Don't get me wrong : I like the "new" Jacob, Pellegrino's a fine actor. Just a shame that it's not better tied to "Man behind the curtain". - The inconsticencies in the timeline some of you have noted between "Looking glass" and "Bentham". Again, it raises the question as to how much is planned. - The explanation for Ben turning "evil" : so, it's not the loss of his mother, it's not because of his father's attitude, it was a "mystical" conversion in the Temple ??? I know that lil'Ben has previously been established as troubled and manipulative ( flawing Volkswagen, anyone ? ), but linking his "transformation" to the Temple is pretty weak for a show that usually writes its characters so well. But I keep hoping they downplay the Temple's role in Ben's transformation in season 6. - The Rousseau storyline : so, what have we learned ? Almost nothing. What a waste of time.
And now, if you don't all hate me yet, what was great ( again, for me ) : - Hurley and Miles' duo. I never really liked Miles before, but he makes a great couple with Hurley. "Hoth" was one of my favourites this year. - Any scene with Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, or both ( you guessed, "Dead is dead" was ALSO one of my faves ) - Sawyer's "LaFleur" persona. Yes, as one of you noted, his transformation might be a little rushed for us ( remember that a three-year gap remains unaccounted for ) , but I think that "Because you left" and "The lie" foreshadowed it, Sawyer began to take charge before Locke came back. - Kate's goodbye to Aaron. Probably one of the most heartbreaking scenes of the show, I think. - Seeing, without warning, the full statue. - Finally seeing the "count to five" scene : great payoff. - "The incident", the launchpad to a season 6 that seems to be deeply rooted in ( mostly egyptian ) mythology !!!
So, what are your ups and downs ? Do some of you agree with mine ? --Lccf 13:16, December 30, 2009 (UTC)


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Outgoing error Timed out trying to reach server on port 25
I am trying to install the help desk email settings and keep getting the following error:
Outgoing error Timed out trying to reach server on port 25
I am using a Kerio email server and the account i am using is a dedicated account set in the Kerio. Currently there are two test emails in this account and on some instances it shows that there are two emails in this account and Spice works askes if i want to really use that account and i confirm then i get the error.
Any help would be appreciated.
This topic was created during version 4.5.
The latest version is 7.5.00101.
10 Replies
Feb 15, 2010 at 8:56 UTC
Can you telnet to port 25 from the SW machine?
Feb 15, 2010 at 9:00 UTC
If you can't telnet to port 25 on the server (as per Lee's comment), it may be that the SMTP service is not running on the server. Is the server SMTP or POP3?
Feb 15, 2010 at 9:28 UTC
the server is a POP3 server and we send / receive emails normally without any issue.
i might be thinking that this might be an issue as i am using windows 7
Feb 15, 2010 at 9:35 UTC
Make sure your settings are set for POP3 in SW not SMTP
Not a 7 issue (though you need something like putty to troubleshoot since they dumpded telnet starting with Vista).
Have you looked at this? It talks about Exchange, but could still be useful.
Feb 15, 2010 at 10:37 UTC
Usually an e-mail client would use POP3 to pull e-mail from the server, but use SMTP to send it. I guess the timeout is on the sending mail to server part of the test. Looking at the e-mail server you use, the documentation indicates 'self contain services - no dependencies on other services such as SMTP, POP, IMAP, LDAP, and HTTP'. I would check the detailed documentation to see if it has its own SMTP and POP3 services, then check to see if all is running correctly. We use Lotus Notes/Domino, which has the ability to setup its own SMTP, POP3 and IMAP services within the Domino Service - you have to make sure you configure the correct documents and load the appropriate tasks.
Feb 15, 2010 at 10:40 UTC
My server is configured to use smtp to send and pop3 to download messages. All my clients are working fine and have no problems to send/receive.
the smtp is set correctly and port 25 is open
i changed the tsl as specified in the notes but still nothing.
Feb 15, 2010 at 10:49 UTC
Which build of Kerio mail server are you using? It may be that you need to increase the SMTP timeout period.
Feb 15, 2010 at 10:59 UTC
Could the firewall on either the Spiceworks server or your Kerio server or your Win7 client be causing the problem? Forgive me if I'm trying to teach my grandmother to suck eggs...
Feb 15, 2010 at 3:54 UTC
Can you telnet to port 25 from the SW machine?
Were you able to do this?
You'll need putty to telnet from Win7. Get it here
Can you check your EMail Server Logs to see what is happening?
SMTP commands to test seen here
Create telent session in putty but use port 25
MAIL FROM:firstname.lastname@example.com
RCPT TO:email@example.com
DATA This is a test message please do not respond. (Make sure you remember the enter/period/enter otherwise no work (may not aply to your server))
Feb 25, 2010 at 11:07 UTC
1st Post
I am having the same issues, was there ever a resolution to your problem? I am also using Kerio and created an e-mail account for the Help Desk to use for creating tickets.
This discussion has been inactive for over a year.
You may get a better answer to your question by starting a new discussion.


text:
I have a customer that wants deserts for 130 people on Thursday night. cupcakes, cookies cheese cake, but what else? I don't have time to decorate cookies and my choc chip recipe isn't the best plus I heed a variety. Don't have many different recipes except Christmas cookies. Please help. Oh and what do I charge, do I charge extra for short notice she just called 25 minutes ago and I have to call her back in 5.
cupcakes ?? with chocolate butterceam on top and fondant fall leaves - at least $ 1.50
Good Idea, but what else, she wants more than cup cakes?
Mini pecan pie/tarts. Pie crust in mini muffin cups w/a spoonfull of filling - can even cheat by using canned Gr choco frosting as filling.
Cake balls/truffles; simply finely crumble cake; if necessary add a bit of buttercream or other liquid until the cake holds together when rolled into balls. Dip in chocolate. Can sprinkle w/jimmies OR roll in coconut or colored sugar or roll in cocoa when dry.
Potatoe chips OR dried fruit OR vanilla wafers OR Oreos OR most anything you can think of dipped in chocolate
Peanut butter fingers; mix pb w/some powdered sugar & butter until thick; pat into pan; pour melted choco on top. Chill well; Cut into finger size bars.
Thanks so much, now what do I charge? I'm so unsure, I'm still new to the orders kinda.
Pecan tarts, where's the pecans? Can I use ready made crust and put pudding in them?
Thanks for all of the great idea's I really appreciate it.
How about brownes ?
Yes, those are on my list, is out of a box tacky though? I don't have a home made recipe
yea I would say go with a few mini tarts. Like a key lime with some meringue on top, mini pumpkin or apple pies, mini cheesecakes, fall themed cupcakes or petit fours, some brownies and some drop cookies. You can do all the mini stuff in cupcakes pans, just use a round cutter to cut out the pie crust. I've found some shortcuts over the years... Ghiradelli (sp?) makes a fantastic boxed brownie. Replace the water with coffee though. they bake up so moist and tender, they're perfect and as far as chocolate chip cookies, I use the recipe on the back of the nestle toll house bag and love it. I underbake them by just a tiny bit, maybe just a minute, not even. once they start to brown around the edges, it's too late so pull them out just before that. good luck. Sounds like a great project!
ps... cake balls too. Great Idea kakeladi! oh and what about chocolate bark? I made some last christmas, I took dried cranberries, raisins & walnuts I think and spread them out on a cookie sheet and then melted some chocolate and poured it over. Once it hardened, I broke into bitsize pieces. It was really good. I got the recipe off the food network, i remember it called for orange peels or zest but I omited that, I'm not a fan of orange and chocolate.
Thanks everyone, she decided on Cheese cakes (Whole). Mini pies and cup cakes. I like the idea of the cookie cutter for the pie crust but do you still use the paper cups? If not do you place them in afterwords?
Since your in a time crunch, I'd recommend sheets of things to cut up. Just about anything in a sheet will give you quantity for a little bit less work.
Take any favorite brownie, blondie, lemon bar, even cheesecake recipe and bake in a 10x15 jelly roll pan. Cut each item in a different shape - square, triangle, little bars, circles so each looks very unique. Use a nice stabilized whipped cream or mild flavored buttercream, then top with an appropriate fruit or decoration (white choc chips on a white chocolate bar - and so on). I've even baked very thin banana cake, sandwiched with banana cream filling, cut into squares and top with whip cream and banana chip.
I also LOVE to make tartlets. Blind bake your favorite pastry and fill with lemon, lime fruit curds. Fill with caramel, banana cream or coconut cream. These are a bit more time consuming though always a big hit.
Have fun...wish I could help you - I love making miniatures.
Wow Patty, I wish you lived close!! I need some help with Petite fours. This same lady who ordered in short notice has asked me to do the deserts for the prom in May. I have asked for a class in Petite fours at the shop where I take classes but I don't know if they'll do it. Great idea on the cheese cake (Jelly roll pan)I don't know why I didn't think of it. I'm just getting started trying to drum up business.
If you wouldn't mind sharing I sure could use some help.I don't want to do a bunch of stuff that I've never done before.
Ask away! Just PM with anything specific. Your kids cupcakes are adorable, so you'll have no problem adapting to "grown up" items. You can get away with cupcakes if they appear really different. Chocolate with choc frosting to start, then for those who don't like chocolate (insanity!), a pumpkin or spice fits the season with a nice cream cheese frosting swirl gives you two items off the bat.
Again - sheets are volume, less work. Variety of flavors, colors, shapes give visual interest. Most of these ideas I got from the Flo Braker Sweet Miniature book. She also gives tips on steps/ methods/ quantities etc. from a caterers perspective. If you don't have time now, keep it in mind for the prom in May.
Good luck!
for the mini pies/tartlets. I don't use cupcake liners. I have scalloped edge round cutters. I use one that's a little bigger than they cupcake hole, cut out the circle and smush it into the pan and have the crust come up the sides a little. If you're afraid they might stick, you could probably do a really light spray of pam with flour or whatever "grease" you use for your cake pans but I've never needed it.
for the mini pies/tartlets. I don't use cupcake liners. I have scalloped edge round cutters. I use one that's a little bigger than they cupcake hole, cut out the circle and smush it into the pan and have the crust come up the sides a little. If you're afraid they might stick, you could probably do a really light spray of pam with flour or whatever "grease" you use for your cake pans but I've never needed it.
Exatly...100% how I do them too.
Dipping half of the choc chip cookie in dark or white choc makes it look special and is easy.
Patty --- You're advice is wonderful! And your pictures look so good! Thanks for sharing!
PattyT...why do you want to make me salivate at the computer like this?!! That presentation looks SO GOOD! Great advice. BTW...I love Flo Braker. She is one of the 1st bakers that I started watching when the Food Network just started on the show Baker's Dozen.
Thanks for all of the great idea's everyone. I was able to by the tartlet pie shells at GFS. Had to save as much time as possible, she ordered 60 more 190 in total. Ended up with Pumpkin, dutch apple and banana tarlets, cheesecake and cupcakes.
Thanks again everyone you've been a big help.
That sounds yummy! I've never seen tartlet pie shells? That would save a ton of time around the holidays. Where did you get them from? I'm not familiar with GFS?
Sorry Stephaniecakenj for the wait. GFS is Gordon Food Service, they are in Michigan not sure if they are anywhere else. They supply a lot of restaurants, they carry everything in bulk. I would check any restaurant supply place if you don't have GFS. The tartlets are pretty good and save a heck of a lot of time. I wished they carried the smaller ones too. They also carrie the pastry puffs, haven't tried them yet but will probably around the Holiday's.
Good Luck
thanks Kat, I'm going to look for them
This is a little off, but I was wondering, do you charge per piece or per person? If so, how many pieces per person do you estimate?
Sorry double post


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Chinchillas are Best!
Why Chinchillas are the best.
The reason why I like chinchillas is because I own one. My chinchilla's name is Wispy, and she is the softest animal that lives at my house. She bathes in dust and sand, and is completely cute when doing so. She is a very curious animal and very finicky. She loves to hide in the crook in my arm when I'm holding her.
My favorite thing about them is that they always look for ways to cause mischief. I love when they bathe in dust because instead of throwing the dust on them like you would guess they roll in the dust! I love how active a chinchilla is when they are happy because they become a little speeding rockets. I love when a chinchilla squeaks you can tell how they feel. I love being able to train my chinchilla to do tricks.


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Simon Cowell Makes Big 'x Factor' Changes
February 1, 2012 by staff
Simon Cowell Makes Big 'x Factor' Changes, On the one hand, Simon Cowell should be congratulated for moving swiftly and boldly to shake up The X Factor – putting blood on the floor Monday night with the firing of judges Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger and host Steve Jones. If you're keeping track at home, that's two people left standing from the original five.
L.A. Reid and Cowell were, without question, the reasons to watch. Both men are respected in the industry, they know how to judge talent and, more than anything, their opinions matter. If The X Factor was ever going to separate itself from American Idol the judging had to be the most significant factor – a statement that in essence says, "We're going to find true and lasting musical stars, not ogle or cuddle contestants." For The X Factor to be different, it needs to create music industry longevity in its winners, not the relatively meager lasting power of American Idol winners.
Of course, now comes the hard part.
Scherzinger and Abdul didn't really add much but comfort to The X Factor. They were mostly loving mother hens – cheering on their favorites with gushing support and truly feeling bad for thwarting the dreams of those acts looking to go forward. And Scherzinger was a beautiful diversion when things got boring. Jones may have just been a handsome diversion without the need to actually judge anyone.
Outside of Cowell's very real friendship with Abdul – reiterated by both after the parting of ways – all three were expendable from a purely qualitative standpoint. No doubt Cowell, who hinted at these moves quite early on, already has a list of possible replacements or, more accurately, has then ready to sign at this very moment. He didn't make this decision rashly. He wanted a better show and when he didn't get it, replaced the parts that weren't working.
At least that's the working theory at this moment. He needs to make the announcements rather soon, or media outlets will sponsor guessing-game stories that fans will fill up with impossible people, raising expectations that can't be met. "What do you mean you didn't get Lady Gaga and the ghost of Elvis Presley? You suck!"
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