text:
Epileptics shouldn't have to fear stigma
After experiencing short blackouts in her 20s, Emma Renwick kept her epilepsy private in fear of discrimination. Here, she "outs" herself in the hope that her daughter inherits a more accepting society.
It was just a simple Sunday morning trip to the local shops. I was doing what no doubt half my 20-something peers were doing: getting supplies to sooth the effects of a big Saturday night out.
As I turned my car around a corner, I lost a moment in time, a brief 'outage' that left me dangerously close to hitting oncoming traffic.
Once the confusion and fear settled I wondered what on earth had happened. I was tired but I knew it wasn't a micro-nap. I was 24 years old and bulletproof so I quickly dismissed the whole thing.
Just weeks later it happened again. This time, thankfully, I wasn't driving. Another time I blacked out in the shower and came to just before I hit the ground. That finally broke down my bravado. A close relative had a brain tumour removed two years earlier; it was time to get myself checked out.
I dragged myself to the doctor, mostly thinking I was an idiot and the 'episodes' were all just part of a hangover. The doctor had a very different take on things though. I was sent off for a CT scan and a fast-track appointment to the neurologist.
While I waited for the answers I did a very good job of burying my head in the sand. I did not want anything to change my happy little world.
The diagnosis: 'Absence epilepsy.' I was taken completely by surprise. I had no idea that the small blackouts I had could be in the same family as the so much more dramatic disorder I thought I knew about from film and television.
My seizures are so brief that many people would be unaware that I'd had one. I describe it as a very short power outage after which it takes me a few seconds to remember what I was doing or talking about.
Yet the truth is that epilepsy is not just one condition; it's a diverse group of complex brain disorders. Epilepsy is the most common chronic brain condition in Australia and affects more than 220,000 of us.
Although we know that epilepsy can be caused by head trauma, tumours, inherited conditions, and even infection of the central nervous system, most cases have no known cause.
A seizure happens when there is sudden excessive electrical activity in a group of brain cells and these seizures can range from violent convulsions to minor sensations that only the person having them is aware of.
Yet despite how common epilepsy is and how subtle the effects can be, a new study by the Epilepsy Foundation of Australia has found that almost 50 per cent of epileptics suffer discrimination of some sort as they go about their daily lives.
Like all discrimination, researchers say it's based on ignorance. The study found some people still believe epilepsy is contagious and many believe it is a psychiatric disorder. Some even believe the sufferer is possessed by evil spirits.
The variety of ways in which the condition presents itself no doubt only adds to the public confusion; so too, perhaps, does the negative way it's portrayed in popular culture.
The study's lead author, Dr Michelle Bellon, says 47 per cent of epileptics said they had experienced discrimination. Participants in the study also said they had been excluded (11 per cent) or even assaulted and bullied (5 per cent) at school or work because of their epilepsy.
This is why I too have been reluctant to come forward.
The study revealed a level of unfair treatment within the workplace that suggested Australia's anti-discrimination laws needed to be strengthened to address them, Dr Bellon said. She said the stigma surrounding epilepsy could be so bad that sufferers went on to develop chronic stress, which in turn was likely to exacerbate epilepsy symptoms.
Even when medicated, around 30 per cent of epileptics suffer memory problems and mood disorders including anxiety. These complaints are difficult for the general public to understand, says Professor Armin Mohamed, the director of Comprehensive Epilepsy Service at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital. "(People) understand if someone has lost an arm ... it's not as easy when someone is struggling to remember things because they've had a seizure."
The public needs to understand that epilepsy is a neurological condition with a range of causes, just like heart disease or stroke, says Professor Mark Cook from St Vincent's Hospital in Sydney.
The good news is that up to 70 per cent of seizures can be controlled with medication or surgery, and I am one of the lucky ones.
With the mildest form of the disorder, it takes only a small amount of medication to control my seizures, and I haven't had one for a very long time.
Even so, it's taken me many years to talk publicly about my epilepsy and admit it to my bosses.
Like many in this study, I worried that, despite working for a very inclusive employer, I might be discriminated against.
I feared that even though my condition is controlled by medicine, my managers would think twice before giving me work that was broadcast live - even though I'd done plenty of that kind of work without incident.
Yet still I decided to keep my career safe and not tell.
So why did I change my mind? Well, one day the person that was in the path of oncoming traffic was not me; it was my daughter. She was nine years old and riding back from the shops with one of her brothers. When she got to a corner she didn't turn; she just coasted out onto a busy Sydney road. I'll never know the person who screeched to a halt to avoid hitting her, but I silently thank them every time I think of that day.
While she escaped the accident, she didn't escape her inheritance. She was diagnosed with absence epilepsy too.
Like most parents, I love my children fiercely. From the night I gave birth to my first child, I realised I would throw myself in the way of any harm that faced them without a second thought. So that is why I changed my mind. I want to make the world a better place for my daughter. It sounds cliched but it couldn't be more true. Raising awareness is part of that.
But now I've begun to worry that one day I might be the one doing the discriminating.
My daughter has a much more severe degree of epilepsy than I do. If she misses her medication, she can have a 'tonic-clonic' seizure. That's the type of fitting that most people know about: a period when sufferers freeze and then start convulsing.
My 'baby' girl is now 15, bright, gorgeous and feisty. Just weeks ago, she had her fifth tonic-clonic seizure. This time she was alone and also vomited in the process. It was the first time I confronted the possibility of my beloved daughter dying by choking on her vomit during a seizure.
It was a dark day, to say the least. I'd like to try to explain how I felt that night, but the right words escape me. When I think about it, I get taken straight back to the panic and fear of the moment and my heart starts racing. I think I have to shut it out for a little while. Suffice to say, the cruellest fate would be to outlive your child.
That was also the first time I had encountered deeply altered behaviour post-seizure. As she regained consciousness, she lunged at me like a trapped animal, screaming, flailing, crying and yelling that she loved me. It scared the hell out of me and I screamed for my husband to call for an ambulance. I thought she must have also fallen and hit her head for her to behave so strangely.
Later the paramedics told me it was just one of the many ways people can behave after a big seizure. Later that night my daughter told me that as she came around she thought she was dying and was desperate to hold on to me and tell me how much she loved me.
I don't want my daughter to go swimming without a vigilant adult around, and I really don't want her to learn to drive. While she is still having seizures, the transport authorities, her neurologist and I are agreed on that. Yet if she is seizure-free for a year, those activities will be open to her.
The question is, when the time comes and she is seizure free, will I treat her fairly?
My instinct to keep her from any possible harm will fight hard with my desire, and her right, to grab hold of all the world has to offer her. It's the universal motherhood problem really, just a little bit more loaded in this case.
So why have I told you all this? Well, mostly ABC journalists are aware they are not the story but sometimes you can be so close to an issue that it requires full disclosure.
How could I write about the research and not feel like a charlatan if I didn't come clean? I could have tried to hand the story on to another journalist, but wouldn't that make me another part of the problem?
In all, I'm "outing" myself in the hope that my daughter and her peers will inherit a more accepting society. I also hope that some desperately needed funds are directed to research new treatments.
March 26 is Purple Day for epilepsy awareness.
Emma Renwick is a senior reporter in ABC TV's Sydney newsroom. View her full profile here.
Topics: epilepsy
Comments (60)
Comments for this story are closed.
26 Mar 2013 9:30:18am
The bloke sitting at the desk next to me has epilepsy , you wouldn't know it and I didn't until he told me . the problem people have with epilepsy is that it is bloody scary when someone has a major seizure in front of you and you were not expecting it . Knowing that this may happen and also knowing that in most cases you do nothing other than remove anything in the immediate area that may injure the person makes it a lot less scary for people. It is a very manageable condition and people would be surprised how many people have it.
26 Mar 2013 9:45:24am
This story made me cry, because I've lived it.
My son has epilepsy. It's triggered by stress and came on after two authority figure decided it was okay to yell at him until he trembled with fear. Just seeing one of those people triggered a seizure. It took a bit to get his seizures under control, but he was dropped from representative sport. No one would admit it was because of his seizures until after they stopped and they wanted him to play again. Pretty hard to cop, especially with the ambassador Wally Lewis has been for athletes with the condition.
His teenage friends are understanding and don't bully him over it. But it scares them because he goes from an extremely smart guy to a physically and mentally disabled person while he has his episode.
He's been seizure free for about 5 months now and hopefully it will continue.
26 Mar 2013 10:07:53am
Well said Emma.
I believe we are becoming a more accepting society due to education and increasing narrative via the media and internet.
Thank you for sharing your story today.
26 Mar 2013 10:16:54am
If there is a stigma around epilepsy, it's the first I've heard of it. I'm not disputing the figures quoted in the article, I just find it a bit weird that anyone would discriminate against someone because of it.
However, I will say that in my experience, most people have little experience in how to deal with someone having a seizure. Luckily I've had extensive first aid training, but in the incidents I've attended, it was obvious that bystanders were concerned and anxious to help, but completely bewildered about what to do. So definitely some awareness wouldn't go astray.
26 Mar 2013 1:26:42pm
There's a unmentioned, confounding factor here. Many (not all obviously) epileptics suffer from other developmental disorders - the discrimination and other negative behaviours directed at epileptics may be because of these other more 'obvious' traits.
I agree there's probably some discrimination, but I don't think it's quite as bad for most people as the article makes out. It's well known however that primitive cultures have very defined fear of epileptics.
26 Mar 2013 5:02:40pm
Pete are you an epileptic ,I am as far as i know i have no other developmental disorders. what disorders are you refering to. Every time i've disclosed my condition there has been repercussions. People have tried to use my comdition to sack me but as we all know that is discrimetory.
26 Mar 2013 10:27:01am
When one first witnesses a major epileptic attack and watches the father hug his son tightly as he thrashed about gently lowering him to the ground and then knowing exactly what to do you could not help but be filled with compassion at the love and care of the father.
Similarly with other major disorders with fathers/mothers loving to life in an amazing way a child completely unable to help themselves - compassion.
Unfortunately after scores of years I have come to the conclusion that generally compassion is missing in our society - we are not in the main a compassionate society. Its a puzzle as to why because when a major disaster strikes people seem to leap to help and assist - for a while.
And as for discrimination it abounds, and abounds luxuriating in prejudices, ignorance and bloody selfish self centerdness - just ask the seniors, the first citizens, the parolee, the refugee, the first time dark skinned neighbors coming to our shores. The young despise the elderly and would never employ them, the blue rinse set red necks the first citizens and don' they know it - at a glance they can pick up the vibes of the prejudiced, everyone of course has a 'go to hell attitude to the parolee', and as for refugees - well not in my back yard.
Obviously very few know let alone understand the real significance of the good Samaritan story let alone the final judgmental words contained in Mathew 25 v31-46 being the final words everyone will hear one way or the other. But of course these teachings are despised by the majority also?
Is it possible we could eventually develop a compassionate society without passing laws to force people to be so?
28 Mar 2013 12:00:46pm
How is it "compassionate" behaviour if forced ? There are already lots of forced moral rules and none seem effective when dealing with power. eg Banks, investment schemes, honesty in politics. Secondly, ill-defined rules breed exceptions and avoidance attitudes. To misquote a wandering carpenter tried by a legal system noted for its impartiality, "What is compassion?"
Finally, a set a sweeping assertions does not make an argument. From my own experience, having been discriminated on basis of race and age, for each failure there are more who are fair. Oz is far better than countries whose constitutions enforce racism and much more tolerant than nearly anywhere else.
If you want more compassion, one has to start generations before. Removing major economic uneveness, achieving economic and social opportunity; ie health, education. As this would mean abandoning market based materialism, this change is not likely unfortunately.
26 Mar 2013 10:31:09am
I had epilepsy too. I was also one of the lucky ones, having had surgery.
It would be really hard to forget something like a seizure. I've seen one tonic clonic seizure in real life and I haven't forgotten it.
I hope that nothing bad comes from people knowing about your epilepsy and that if you did have a seizure, you could go back to work in the next few days or whenever.
26 Mar 2013 10:42:38am
Hi Emma. My name is Lawrie, and I have Epilepsy too. Actually my variety is called 'Complex Epilepsy'. Worst case scenario for me is when the body freezes and yet the mental faculties are fully operating. I can think and talk but not move... but the first time it happened in the office...... let's just say it was interesting. Straight to the hospital to see what was wrong.
Other seizures include double vision, metallic taste in mouth, numbness around right hand side of mouth and 'red face'.
From that freeze in the office til I was diagnosed was 3 mths during which time I was under pressure from my employer to resign and I'd be re-hired as a part-timer. The day I found out I had Epilepsy I called the office to let them know I'd be in the next day, but late due to using Public Transport.
24th August 2006, no sooner am I in the office than I am called into boss's office and after ten minutes I do what has been desired for three months: I resign. (Loved slamming the paper onto his desk, the coffee mug into the sink. Trouble was, it was my OWN mug which I left behind *sigh*)
Reason put forward prior to that were that I'd affect his WC premiums. True to his word, I was re-hired, but at a lower level and there was always something gnawing away so even though on 800mg of Sodium Valproate a day I was still having my "minor" seizures.
Oh, did I mention that I was 54 years old when diagnosed?
But reading your column and seeing those mentions of the 'blackouts' reminded me that at 12-14 I'd been riding to the local pool and blacked out, falling off my bike. Fortunately no cars were about so my mate and I headed on to the pool, me nursing a few bits of gravel rash. In my 20's I had two other occurrences whilst driving. Both times I was uninjured.
But I had never connected the two series of events together. I mean, there were 30 years with no seizures.
Now I just avoid stress.... and don't give a tinker's cuss what others think cause it's my health versus their feelings.. and they don't count.
Yes you did the right thing in coming out. I always state I have Epilepsy when applying for work. Better safe than sorry. I hope that your daughter finds a way to manage her Epilepsy.
Despite what my brother emailed me when I emailed him, "Get well soon" don't quite cut it.
26 Mar 2013 10:51:10am
Thank you so much for this article Emma.
Your experience is very similar to that of my daughter - she too has Absence Epilepsy. Thankfully it is controlled by medication and she lives a healthy, full and active life.
26 Mar 2013 11:05:21am
I started having tonic-clonic seizures when I was 26. It happend for a year or so as the 'neurologist' who diagnosed me said I was an epileptic, put me on pills that made me sick, and didn't do anything. I probably had about 8 full blown fits in a year. Very scary.
Luckily my Mother took me to another Neurologist, who gave me an MRI, discovered a tumour, had it removed and I have been tonic clonic fit free for 20 years. I was on medication for 8 years. I did skip it at one stage and had started having secondary fits. (spaciness etc.)
I later found out that my original neurologist had been kicked out of the profession. - ALWAYS get a second opinion.
Not long after this. I secured a very good job at a processing plant, from which I was let go once they found out. I hold no regrets, but it taught me to be very careful as to what you tell people. I was still unsure whether I would fit again, so I could understand their reluctance to let me work alone.
After that, I was very careful to only tell employers only if I had to. Many times I lied. I still lie and very rarely talk about it.
As for "..The study found some people still believe epilepsy is contagious and many believe it is a psychiatric disorder. Some even believe the sufferer is possessed by evil spirits..." I did not find that at all.
I did not find discrimination, except with employment and insurance. But that was not due to a fear or misunderstanding of the condition, but more of the liability and responsibility attached.
Good luck to all, and never skip your medication. It sure scared the hell out of me.
Urien Rakarth:
26 Mar 2013 11:10:37am
Thank you for writing such a great article, Emma. I've been an epileptic since the age of 19. I suffer from absence seizures, and occasionally I will collapse or suffer limb spasms. I regularly go vacant, but thankfully this is the most I have experienced in public/work place. I've only fallen once in public, and it was quite embarassing.
My colleagues know I have epilepsy, and I have experienced no discrimination. They have been completely supportive, to the point of asking how best to manage my fits/absence attacks. There has been no barrier to my profession, either, as I have received a number of promotions. Although, I feel sorry for those epileptics having been discriminated against for their condition.
The only downside to having epilepsy is not being allowed to drive. Quite emasculating for someone in the 21st century! Having to rely on others or public transport is sometimes frustrating.
26 Mar 2013 11:19:19am
Thanks for the article. I too have kept it quiet for a long time, despite being seizure free for 20 years this year. But I know I can never be "cured" or guaranteed without medication, so I that's the way I've chosen to live.
I have had some strange comments over the years - enough to make me wary of who I tell. I know that tells me a lot about the commentator's lack of knowledge, but it's not something I feel I can just drop casually into a conversation.
I hope you and your daughter can live the lives you want - sometimes other things emerge that are even better.
I will quietly celebrate 20 years later this year.
26 Mar 2013 11:20:02am
I agree that it is scary for observers. I too have epilepsy but, with medication, it is now completely cocntrolled. I urge anyone who has this unfortunate condition to not be ashamed of the fact. It can happen to anyone. Often with no known cause. I think that these days the general public have a greater understanding of the condition and there is no longer the stigma that was once displayed. I urge anyone to "come out",( if that is the right expression) to their family, friends and workmates so that if you do have an episode of whatever degree, they will be in a better position to deal with it.
26 Mar 2013 11:20:42am
My second son has had epilepsy since age of 14. His first seizure was in front of all his school mates while at boarding school. It took about 18months for the medication to control his illness properly as we noticed his absence seizures frequently at the dinner table. The neurologist suggested he would most likely grow out of it. He is now 22 and has had 2 major seizures in the past year. On completing school he went interstate to study and is now in his final year. His first day of uni this year was his most recent seizure and all I wanted to do was hop on a plane and be there for him. Seeing a new neurologist in that city came the question of the cause. I had assumed it couldn't be known. My beautiful boy suffered meningitis when he was just 19 months old, a horrible time when we almost lost him. Now it appears his epilepsy has been one of the consequences. As his mother I worry about him all the time but he is a sensible young man who knows his limits on drinking, on getting enough rest,on driving. Of all my children to 'leave home' to study he was the one I didn't want to lose yet I have had to let go and allow him to become responsible with everything in his life, including this illness. I am just so very proud of him.
Urien Rakarth:
26 Mar 2013 12:14:09pm
Thank you for sharing this, Jo Anne. Your son couldn't have a better mother.
26 Mar 2013 11:29:02am
I've grown up with a cousin who has epilepsy.
This is the first I have ever heard of discrimination in the workplace against someone with epilepsy. I am quite surprised that it is so widespread that we need to change legislation.
Having said that, I'm more for educating and understanding than legislation and banning. If it is such a problem maybe we should have some educational campaigns?
26 Mar 2013 11:38:51am
I was diagnosed as an epileptic for over 45 years ago and the only thing it stopped me from doing was become a pilot. I have been a lifesaver, rowed surf boats, abseiled down cliffs, scuba, dived gone ocean racing in yachts and much more. I "got" epilepsy from my grandfather who worked in the timber industry early last century. Sure I have always told someone to watch out for me while I have done these things but you can still do them. My only regret is that my mother didnt call me Russell.
26 Mar 2013 12:08:17pm
You will find the majourity of the public are accepting. Except I am not accepting that someone with this condition keep driving because the consequences could be live threatening. I had an instance last year where I found this person head down in a flower box in the middle of the city of Perth. I was unsure about the person was he a drunk and Addict or what. Remember as the public that there are times when people have been attcked and some injured and even died from these episodes of goodwill. I decided to help and when I approached I knew something was wrong. So I tried to help him to his feet to do so I needed assistance a couple of workmen reluctently assisted but only after I assured them that the gentleman had some sort of fit. He was embarrassed and I told him he need not be, I was the one embarrassed for not knowing how I could assist, I should update my First aid course for one. I have suffered depression for a longtime, I have through other means no longer take medication, but I too at times have brief relapses. I would hope that if someone in my workplace had the condition, that they would tell me, and inform me on what I should do to assist if and when it happens. Then I would be more confident in assisting. Goodluck to you both.
M goes Viral:
26 Mar 2013 12:36:23pm
I am one of those workers, sitting quietly in my office, not mentioning, but taking my meds every twelve hours for very well controlled epilepsy. I have grand mal seizures, so pretty scary for the on-lookers.
I had to tell work last year because I had a change in medication with possible personality effects. And, unfortunately I am one of the 20% of users that has had some personality change. Not all bad, but certainly not all good either.
I am not sure how the partner took it, or if he even knew what to think, but thankfully I work in a very professional industry, and have not noticed any changes in attitude or behviour towards me.
Of course my family worry about me. However I am not sure if worry is the same as discrimination.
I personally think the main concern of Epileptics and there families is that many drugs (AED's) used to treat are old. Some side effects are terrible. I never really hear of new research or new alteratives although this is a common condition.
I like to think of my epilespy as a health concern, not a disability or condition. I accept it imposes some limitations, but skydriving never was for me and it saves me money at the pokies.
Well done Purple Day - and thank you for your support.
John of WA:
26 Mar 2013 12:41:03pm
I'm working in an area with literally hundreds of people but I don't know if anyone here has epilepsy. Perhaps it would be better if I did? Regardless of my wishes, it is not my decision. Perhaps people would be more understanding if the condition was not hidden just in case people weren't understanding... Someone has to take the first step, as you have. I'm sure you and your colleagues will be the better off for it.
26 Mar 2013 12:43:31pm
Discrimination is definately out there. All the jobs at my work state applicants must have a drivers license regardless of the type of work it is. I have a close relative with epilepsy and the greatest impediment they have had to their lives is constant fear that they will lose their license and everything that goes with it.
26 Mar 2013 12:54:44pm
Years ago I lived in a small country town in SA (250 people). We got a new doctor and eventually my wife and I became friends. We went around th their place for dinner one night and in the middle of dinner the doctor had a fit. His wife was mortified and they later told us they'd withheld the information on the application for fear of not getting the job and asked us not to say anything. I had never seen anyone have a fit before but they both explained the ins and outs and what to do if it ever happened again. I became his boat skipper for when we went fishing.
A few months later we were playing basketball in the local competition in front of the whole town. I looked up and saw my friend with a glazed expression and starting to walk around in circles (he did this just before he fitted). I ran over and lowered him to the ground as he fitted and the secret was out. There were varying reactions from the townspeople but overall it was very positive and he remained the town's doctor for a number of years. He kept his fits under control with medication for the most part.
Eventually they moved to Queensland where he started fitting more often and they discovered a brain tumour. Surgery was unsuccessful and he eventually died. He did everything he wanted except drive the car or the boat.....but I felt very sad that he had to hide it in order to get a job.....he was a great doctor and an asset to the community.
26 Mar 2013 12:57:46pm
This is touching on the broader impact of the stigma against all neurological conditions, not just epilepsy. It's sad, disheartening, and horrifying that so many people are terrified of being "outed" as having a condition because of the persecution they will encounter. Not even from those who are openly abusive, but casual persecution from people who still, in the 21st century, consider neurological conditions to be a failure of character rather than a issue of chemistry.
It's another thing we need more knowledge about, more education about, more needed to remove the fear and stigma that buzzes around us like flies.
Unfortunately, it's going to be a long process, and it'll fight us every step of the way.
26 Mar 2013 1:16:10pm
I've had epilepsy for quite some time but never really discussed it with my mates until quite recently. After a big night out after travelling across the country, I had a tonic-clonic seizure on a train to Gosford, resulting in me being taken off the train at Strathfield or Epping (I still to this day cannot recall which one it is). From that day on, I made the decision to give up alcohol to ensure that I sleep better and to get back on my medication properly. However, I still struggle with my mental well being and I am on medication for anxiety as well. People do not understand how much epilepsy can affect your everyday life, and the discrimination, whether real or imagined, does occur. I'm glad that the ABC is taking this issue seriously, and I wish your daughter the best in her future endeavours.
M goes Viral:
27 Mar 2013 12:13:19pm
Hi Chris
A lot AED's (meds commonly used for Epilsepsy) cause anxiety. There is some research that AED's deplete vitaman B12.
Deficiency in B12 can cause tiredness, mood changes, depression & anxiety.
You may consider discussing with your doctor if adding high B12 foods to your diet or a supplement could help.
I added a supplement to help manage changes of mood and have noticed a difference.
Ruperts Phone Service:
26 Mar 2013 2:05:40pm
Very fitting article Emma. I have suffered with severe depression half my life. If I ever tell anyone about it they say "Oh snap out of it" I wish.
All the best
Jungle Boy:
26 Mar 2013 2:20:06pm
"many believe it is a psychiatric disorder"
Sadly this myth is perpetuated by some of your media colleagues. Too often we see reports that criminals or victims have psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolarism "and epilepsy".
Even referring to epilepsy as a "neurological disorder" can create the wrong impression in people who aren't medical experts. Maybe the best way to refer to it is as a physiological misfunction of the brain's electrical balance: a short circuit.
In some cultures I understand that epilepsy is a sign of greatness. Many famous people have had epilepsy, such as Julius Caesar and the late Tony Greig. (Perhaps I need a few more grand-mal episodes before my own greatness sets in? :)
Thanks for your heartening strory Emma, and to all those from other posters.
Brenda :
26 Mar 2013 2:33:32pm
Thank you for your frank sharing. I agree witnessing an epileptic episode can be very confronting especially if it happens out of the blue, even if you have awareness of the issue. This was my experience when my husband had one during the night when we were in bed. What has been helpful for me has been understanding what is happening and knowing what to do. Fortunately for us, he no longer needs to take medication and hasn't had an episode in many years. However, he does have an annual appointment with his specialist to satisfy RTA. I congratulate you on putting epilepsy out there and being willing to risk all through the bearing of your heart in a very poignant story...any nitty gitty issue..like cancer, like epilepsy only loses its power to contort life when it is revealed for what it is, a challenge to overcome. Predjudice will always seek to raise its ugly head and there is no controlling some people even with the law. At the end of day disability is only a different way of viewing the world...as the Olympics proved it doesnt mean life is diminished. I do agree though with education as a vital part of building understanding and dealing with fear within the general public. When the time comes, I hope you do chose to be fair to your daughter...as others were to you...she deserves the opportunity to live to her potential. I hope you or you daughter sometime share the next part of your journeys.
26 Mar 2013 2:33:37pm
Consider a thought for those 30% that cannot take medication for their epilepsy, such as my wife. Unfortunately when in her 30's she developed epilepsy which manifests itself as tonic clonic where she uncontrollable falls to the ground unconscious whilst shaking violently. This occurs without any warning, and sometimes will happen several times in a day.
As a result of this the authorities took her driving license away, which is understandable, however she is now house ridden.
The shaking is very violent - she has broken peoples noses, bruised people, and in one instance smashed a CT machine in a hospital when having scans due to the noise from the machine triggering a fit. The episodes are also triggered by flashing lights, loud noises such as a child suddenly screaming, or someone dropping a plate, and often by nothing apparent. Due to this she is too embarrassed to go out in public - she will not go to restaurants, or shopping, and will not go out for entertainment.
When I have persuaded her to go out and a fit occurs people will often stare, with disdain at times, or walk away and treat her as if she was a leper. If she is not prevented from falling to the ground she often hits her heard and also becomes concussed. Since developing this complaint she suffers from severe depression, and often talks about 'ending it all'. Apart from heavy medication there seems to be nothing the medical profession can do to help.
We have lived with this for the last 20 years and the reaction of people has not changed in that time. Hopefully more public awareness of the debilitating nature of this disease to many suffers and the fact that it cannot be transmitted via contact will change peoples attitudes to be more caring and understanding.
struck dumb:
27 Mar 2013 12:27:00am
Ray, your wife's story and symptoms sound so similar to that of my grandmother in the UK. While my grandfather was alive, she was cared for and protected, but the psychotropic drugs she had to take had horrific side effects that eventually not only eroded her mind and memory but affected her physically. This was not helped by electric shock treatment. Once my grandfather passed away, my grandmother eventually had to move into a nursing home, and went through several because of her epileptic episodes; there was even talk of placing her in an asylum after she flung tea trays through windows and yelled at the nurses. The medical staff were convinced she was certifiable and it was sheer bad temper on her part. I have no idea if she was still on medication because she did not like being medicated and went to amazing lengths to avoid taking it.
I would like to think that things have progressed since the 60s and the 70s, including medical treatment, and general understanding and acceptance, and am saddened by the limitations on your wife's life. My grandmother lived a reasonably full life before my grandfather died; it was only after his death that her world shrunk to family and the few neighbours who knew and understood her condition. My grandmother never wanted pity, but the scorn born out of ignorance of those who should have known better was another matter.
Its a brave person who speaks up about having epilepsy, yet the experience of the people commenting here suggests its very much a case of "there but for the grace of God go I". It could happen to any one of us, at any time, and is totally beyond our control, yet we still brush it under the carpet as if its something to be embarrassed about. What we should be embarrassed about is still accepting those Victorian attitudes that blame the victim for their condition, instead of recognising it as a medical condition like so many others that require medication, often for life.
Sibling of epilepsy:
27 Mar 2013 8:15:53am
I read your wife's story with such a heavy heart. My younger brother has had his life taken by epilepsy. At five he was diagnosed in an instant with tonic clonic epilepsy and subsequent aquired brain injury from his first fall. His seizures are every day of his life - night and day. I've lost my brother, my dearest friend. His mental health is terrible, the meds don't control it but he could not live without them. The meds make him so terribly unwell. He has talked of taking his life and is very depressed. He lives in a facility for young people with aquired brain injury. There is huge discrimination toward epilepsy - I'm amazed at the lack of compassion out there - even from our own family. It's like a shadow rests over me every day knowing what has become of his life and that there is nothing I can do.
26 Mar 2013 2:40:05pm
Epilepsy stigma ?? First I've heard of it. Just another disease that affects some, including a relative who had a seizure recently. But still a good story and more info the better to the public.
26 Mar 2013 4:47:25pm
I am 66 years old and have just been diagnosed as a mild Epileptic with absence seizures. I had been having the seizures for about the previous 2 years and finally went to see my doctor. I have been lucky in that the initial medication given to me has worked. I have not felt better for a very long time and have no side effects from the medication. They feel that mine was caused by being knocked out during my football playing days. Because I feel so good I am happy to have been diagnosed and have the good results I am experiencing.
26 Mar 2013 4:49:53pm
My son had 2 seizures when he was 17. The first was at home very scary, called the ambulance,and he was told that it was probably a one off. The second was at work (apprentice mechanic) in front of his young work mates. He nearly hit his head on a metal bar. He bit his tongue badly and apparently turned blue. He came to in the ambulance, covered in his own blood. Absolutely terrifying for him and his workmates who thought he was dead. He left his job because he couldn't drive for some time. He is on medication, hasn't had another seizure (12 months) the neurologist said he probably never will if he keeps on his medication, doesn't drink too much (he doesn't) and get enough rest. He really wants to join the police force which was his original plan after finishing his now defunct apprenticeship. I'm not sure if he will be allowed. The website is cagey on the matter.
26 Mar 2013 5:16:44pm
Non-epileptics shouldn't have to fear the stigma either. In September 2005 I copped a good whack in the head from a 'head-on' collision with a car driving on the wrong side of the road overtaking a truck.
Then after a few weeks in hospital, when I got out, the quacks tried to stop me from driving a car because they were frightened that I might have an epileptic fit. I never did. In May 2006 I left the country so I could use the International permit and resume driving a car again.
The stigma is an invention of the medical finance industry. I still have never had a fit, but I can't forget what those sadistic quacks tried to do to me back when I was unwell.
chris g:
27 Mar 2013 10:57:37am
I don't quite get what your compaint is. Post-traumatic seizures are a common event so monitoring your condition after a serious closed-head injury before allowing you to drive would seem prudent. How would you have felt if the driver who struck your vehicle was having a seizure?
As to the 'stigma is an invention of the medical finance industry' comment; what on earth does this mean?
It is unfortunate that seizures can occur while driving and that such an event can be a life-threatening risk for both the person having the seizure and others around them. But no one, neither those suffering from a seizure disorder nor the unaffected broader community, would seriously argue that licencing restrictions are a form of discrimination.
And 'sadistic quacks'? Please explain.
27 Mar 2013 12:06:08pm
I would think in all cases if you had not had a seizure for x years since the accident then they would let you drive. A couple of weeks following a serious head injury would be too soon for all sorts of reasons. I have seen stroke patients who think they are almost back to normal who can barely walk or talk, let alone drive. BTW I also have a special handicapped license following an accident and need to get my doctor to sign off each year which is annoying. But I can see why it is necessary in case my condition deteriorates and I shouldn't be allowed to drive. It is irresponsible to circumvent this process. Perhaps you need to discuss your options confidentially with someone?
26 Mar 2013 6:11:34pm
We are lucky in Australia compared to the stigma faced by some in other countries. I have juvenile myoclonic epilepsy (diagnosed at age 18) and managed to get it under controlled and get through uni just fine. However I recently went to apply to do ESL work in Korea, only to be told by 1 recruitment agency that Korea has an unofficial policy against hiring people with epilepsy, so don't mention it on the visa application or during the medical. Called another agency and they danced on a pin trying to avoid saying flat out they wouldn't hire me based on that, but the woman dropped plenty of hints "It would be viewed unfavourably" "Candidates who do not have preexisting medical conditions are at an advantage" etc. Called a third organisation that deals with ESL work all over the world and she said that epilepsy has a huge stigma in Asia, but that she has a friend with epilepsy who works in Japan. So fingers crossed I get work in Japan.
26 Mar 2013 6:54:15pm
All I can say is thank you Emma for talking about this. I'm one of the people that has to live with several different kinds of seizures everyday and have been discriminated against. I wish that we as people with epilepsy didn't have to live with the stigma of it and I think that you writing this article is a really good step to us not having too. Again I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Steve in Perth WA:
26 Mar 2013 7:15:55pm
Having reached the grand age of forty-two and having had seizures since age fifteen - brought on by a head injury, I encourage the Government to provide First Aid training to ALL so that we can assist each other should the need arise. There are far too many situations where medics and hospitals are at their limit - education reduces fatalities. Respect yourself and do not make easy choices in life, set your goals and aspire to them.
26 Mar 2013 9:21:25pm
Well done Emma! As you state there are so many misconceptions about Epilepsy and especially about the different types of epilepsy even amongst the medical fraternity and, much to my surprise, even amongst neurologists!
I was an ID physician in a large teaching hospital but I never told my colleagues that I had TLE because I was afraid that I would be "ostracised" albeit in a benign way (an observer wouldn't know when I have a seizure). I had seen what happened with other colleagues diagnosed with significant medical conditions. I deluded myself that they believed that the conditions could affect ones ability to work. It was only much later that I admitted to myself that me and my colleagues were just as concerned about the perception by administrators, patients and students of one of their own physicians having an incurable condition! I continued to work for some time but for me the main trigger for seizures was the lack of sleep associated with my work and I eventually gave up practice without telling anyone except my personal neurologist why. As soon as I had a more relaxed work life and took my medication regularly I became seizure free: in effect my work was much more dangerous to my health than any seizure was to my patients!
I often wonder whether I should not have had the courage you have displayed and "outed" myself. Don't get me wrong I have no doubts as to how I would have been treated to increasingly benign invisibility as had those other colleagues unfortunate enough to succumb to chronic conditions regardless of whether it affected their ability to perform but on reflection it would have been a good thing to have done so for those who now face the same decision.
Big Al:
26 Mar 2013 10:00:16pm
Great article Em! We are rapidly getting to a place where we have to re-examine all of our pre-conceived notions on the idea of 'normal' health and well being. Your story parallels my personal experiences of mental illness (represented by depression) which, naturally, I found to be unspoken of but widely spread throughout my crazy family. Now I see my son with it and I'm determined to let him know how 'normal' it is in the hope that he asks for help, without shame, blame or discrimination, when he needs the help and not after it's too late to redeem his sanity and sense of self. Much love and blessings to you and all your family.
26 Mar 2013 10:37:49pm
I was 21 when I stopped having seizures. Though mine weren't too bad I do recall going for jobs and not telling them that I used to suffer from seizures. In one sense I was ashamed of it and I didn't want people not to give me a job. This was in the late 1990's early 2000's.
I think that the more we talk about it as a community the more understanding people become. Though the one thing you do learn from it all is who your true friends are in life.
27 Mar 2013 9:03:03am
I was fortunate enough to be diagnosed when I was well on my way in my final year of schooling, so that I couldn't have my subjects changed on me back in the late 50's. I found out later that one of my co-students, who was much brighter, suffered the same fate but had what she was allowed to do seriously downgraded. For her that meant a lifetime of under-achievement.
I went on to qualify in my chosen profession, despite my father initially thinking I would not be allowed to enter. I found great joy & satisfaction in being involved in this until my retirement in recent years.
The Police Department did not seem to think it was a good idea that I get my driving licence, despite being well-controlled & seizure-free. I have never held a driving licence & have lived my life without it & made other arrangements.
There is discrimination because you cannot 'see' the patient does not look different. People do not accept the fact that there are some very bright people out there living with this particular disability & there is the wide-spread idea that epileptics are usually of lesser mental ability. They come in all shapes & sizes. The release of phenytoin onto the market in the 40's allowed epileptics to live a normal life without being heavily sedated but the wider populace has not caught up with this. When you do tell someone, the response very often is,'You never would have thought it'. You do not get that response if you tell someone you have diabetes.
When I was a teenager I went away on a holiday with a girlfriend & my mother told her mother that I was an epilpetic 'just in case'. You guessed it. It did. I had a really bad absence seizure, which if she had not known,would have left her in a very bad position.
Over the years I have probably had less than 20,I have given up counting now, since my last one was in 1984.
There is still a long way to go before the community stops treating epileptics with ignorance & distaste. But we too must stand up & be counted.
27 Mar 2013 9:58:05am
My daughter has epilepsy, picked up in grade one after three seizures over a few days. It has been controlled through medication and so far has not had an effect on what she does although she mustn't get over tired. It runs through the extended family and is just accepted by the family and her friends as something that is there but largely ignored on a day to day basis.
It is good to see these issues raised and awareness increased in the general public, it is probably a lot more common than most people think and some are discriminated against which is unfortunate.
27 Mar 2013 10:46:35am
I don't often comment to articles I've read but that was an extremely good article which I hope people take very seriously. It is important to tell as many people you can especially your friends if you have epilepsy. I unfortunately found out the hard was when my best friend died suddenly from SUDEP. He was 22, fighting fit, much much healthier than me and one day he was here the next day he wasn't. I was left lost and broken and unanswered questions were soon answered after his death. I discovered he was aware of his epilepsy but was ashamed and considered it a weakness, he told very few of the seriousness of his illness and refused to take medications. I wish more than anything in the world he told me, I would not have judged nor treated him any differently. Although SUDEP is rare, it does happen and for me I have spent the last 12 months trying to broadcast that its nothing to be ashamed about. I don't have epilepsy admittedly but I did lose my best friend from something that could quite possibly have been avoided.
27 Mar 2013 11:56:39am
I worked with someone (now a good friend) who has "petit mal" seizures about once a month. He just stops moving and can't be communicated with for about an hour then he slowly comes around. He has had them when I have been with him down the pub, at an outdoor concert and in a New York bar. He had already told me about them before though the first was a bit scary as I wasn't really sure what to expect. But now when it happens I just get him to sit (hopefully) or stand still and wait with him for an hour till it is over, then he goes on his way. I'm sure there are some people out there who discriminate but I think most friends and colleagues would like to know in advance so they know what to do. To not tell them is disrespecting them and potentially harming yourself. And I say this as someone who had 3 absence siezures about 5 years apart in my 20's early 30s but none now for over 15 years. I always appreicated people acting calmly but without too much fuss.
27 Mar 2013 12:20:49pm
It would not surprise me if there was prejudice against people living with epilepsy or other medical conditions. Which is strange because it is easy to understand broadly what is happening neurologically when a person has a seizure. Maybe part of the problem is a rejection of science in our society - look at the ridiculous debate about climate with some people denying their is a change, and also immunisation against all the research on these issues. On the other hand I can understand the emotional effect seeing a person having a seizure can have on bystanders. I was a nurse on a neurological ward and the first time I saw a seizure it was shocking. However it surprised me how quickly my colleagues and I adjusted and were able to help people and prevent harm and I am sure with education the same change would happen for the everyone.
27 Mar 2013 2:10:49pm
Epilepsy is a disease. Why should the sufferers of that disease be identified as epileptics?? Sufferers of brain cancer aren't called brain cancers. Sufferers of hypertension aren't called hypertentics. Sufferers of epilepsy are individuals. Don't label them with the name of a disease!!
janet williams:
27 Mar 2013 2:17:16pm
Our son was 25 when he had his first provoked seizure. Stress, drinking alcohol and an acrimonious breakup with the addition of not eating or being hydrated were the triggers. He was airlifted from Vietnam, Bangkok and then home. Thankful for travel insurance. There are so few neurologists and as a previous writer noted no new drugs for many years. He has noticed that the trigger for him is flying in large aircraft, and not taking his medication at the exact 12 hour intervals. It is life changing for him, all his family and some work place jobs. There was a stage where he couldn't work in confined spaces or use a ladder. Hard for an electrician. I have read where coconut oil is helpful. He does not drink any alcohol and in demand as a sober Bob now he has his licence back. Yes reader go an research it.
27 Mar 2013 5:28:12pm
I don?t have epilepsy, and I?m lucky enough that none of my immediate has it either. But I would fully support anyone who did. I?d also very, very much like to be told if someone with whom I regularly spend time with has it. Should they have an episode and I wasn?t aware that they had epilepsy it would be frightening and, more importantly, I wouldn?t necessarily know how to help them.
Down with Stigma:
27 Mar 2013 5:39:00pm
Thank you for your courage in acting to break the taboos around epilepsy. I can relate to your story, my children have been diagnosed with ADHD, and subsequently so was I at age 40. It turns out the disorder is as hereditable as height. Realising at this age that one has had an unrecognised brain disorder all one's life is a profound experience, having formal diagnosis has helped me gain enormous life changing insights and understanding of myself, and it has helped me understand my children too. Although it was traumatic to come to grips with the facts around the risks that ADHD poses to health and life, it has empowered me to help my children learn about themselves and to hopefully avoid some of the adverse outcomes later on. Treatments in various forms have greatly reduced suffering and has helped keep my family flourishing. It is sad however that we as a family have repeatedly been subjected to ignorance, discrimination and stigmatising attitudes expressed in the media and in society, government, education, the medical profession and the education profession. It has been terrible to struggle with a brain disorder that affects every aspect of life and then on top of that be vilified and persecuted as a result of almost ubiquitous misinformation about ADHD and its treatments. I fear for my children as they grow up, they have overcome so many challenges, and yet society treats people like them (and me) like lepers. I fear that if an ADHD sufferer 'outed' themselves publicly that they comment boxes would include some pretty abusive opinions.
I hope that people with ADHD can find the strength to tackle the discrimination in the way you are tackling
it in the case of epilepsy. All the best to you.
Terry Larkin:
27 Mar 2013 7:02:02pm
I was first diagnosed with Myclonic Epilepsy in 1983....five years after my first seizure in June, 1978. It has been controlled really well with a regime of tablets and only twice...in 1996 and 2000 have I had small seizures and both were a direct result of cutting back on my medication...a move I would strongly warn against. I must say I haven't suffered discrimination but...of the three careers I've had...two in the government and one in mining...I kept quiet about it in the private sector in case I was discriminated against. Listen to your GP and your Neuro Surgeon...they know it best....great article by the way! Oh....and get out into the fresh air!
27 Mar 2013 7:18:20pm
thanks for this enlightening article - my husband of 10 years certainly has experienced discrimination because of his condition - tonic-clonic seizures at the rate of 2-3 a year. Most people are completely freaked out when witnessing a seizure and i would love to see more first aid knowledge among the general public - why not make it compulsory in our secondary schools???
people need to understand also that this is not something self-imposed and that often the sufferer has NO idea what has happened to them - except that everyone around them is panicking. i'm not sure what the reason is behind the taboo about epilepsy, but what can be done to remove it?? surely a condition with this many sufferers should be more understood in todays information obsessed society??
27 Mar 2013 7:24:36pm
"Yet the truth is that epilepsy is not just one condition; it's a diverse group of complex brain disorders."
True. One size doesn't fit all.
27 Mar 2013 9:52:34pm
I was 11 when I started having 'fits', very scary and I could feel them coming on, like a rapid build up and then I would lose control, spitting, dribbling, lose bladder control and talking incoherently. I had no idea what was happening during the episode and then would 'come down', my head would crash with pain and I had to sleep afterwards, sometimes for 2 days!. I had epilepsy from 11 to 19, went through my adolescence, high school, the most challenging for a teenager and would have up to 20 turns a day sometimes. Stress and lack of sleep would exacerbate the frequency of my fits (which I recognised as a young person and would take responsibility for and try to the best of my ability to minimise such things). I was never bullied, was never treated as 'different' and was one of the popular kids at school. The reason being my mum never treated me as having any sort of disability so I didn't consider myself different. I would tell everybody that I had this and would pre warn everyone when I met them that I had these episodes so they would be prepared. I let them know what to expect and what I needed them to do when an event occurred. The only 'disability' I have from my epilepsy is that I have a void of memories during that period but I am a totally successful business owner, mother, wife and grand mother now. My experience in 'losing control' made me strong as a teenager to not take risks with the illicit drugs my friends were trying because ''I knew what it felt like to lose it naturally". My advice is that you should tell anyone who doesn't know that you have epilepsy what to expect if an episode should occur, so they know what to do, this takes the fear of the unknown away and actually empowers them to support those with this condition.
natural family:
28 Mar 2013 10:15:35am
A friend who has epilepsy told me that after her seizures she has so little strength she could drown in the bottom of the shower from being unable to lift her head. Her husband saved from just that event.
I had another two friends with epilepsy, but didn't know they had it until after their deaths alone at home.
28 Mar 2013 10:26:14am
Thank you for writing the article. It brought tears to my eyes. I had a mild form of epilepsy as a child where I would faint. I was on medication and I did grow out of it by the time I left high school. I was teased from the first day I started high school having fainted on parade on the very first day.
Hopefully kids at school these days are made more aware of illnesses their fellow students have so this doesn't occur. I know I have raised it with my sons school (he has asthma) so that they know medication kids may take to school aren't toys but are their to save their life if required.
I hope they do the same with making them aware of what epilepsy is so they can help their friends if they have a seizure when adults aren't around.
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Random Moments part #1
"Get the fuck out," I screamed throwing the $1,500 dollar Ming vase we'd bought on our first anniversary within inches of his ego swollen head. "God damn Miles, you trying to kill me?" Gregory yelled ducking behind the large leather couch as the vase shattered on the hardwood floor. "If I wanted you dead I would have my Beretta in my hand, you Bastard," I yelled back continuing to throw his shit at his head. "He meant nothing to me Miles…. It was only sex. I love you, only you Baby," Greg tried to convince me.
I always hated being called Baby. "Shut the fuck up, no talking your way out of this one," I screamed as I stomped off to the bedroom. I tossed the unpacked boxes of his clothes out the opened window as I said firmly but not yelling any longer, "Get out now Gregory, this is my place now, not ours. Give me your key… I will send all your shit to your Mothers in the morning."
Three years I had wasted on this cheating asshole and I wasn't giving him another minute of my time. I pulled out my Beretta from the draw of the night stand and clicked off the safety. I slowly pointed it at him and said calmly, "Get out and don't come back or you will be shot." Greg pleaded, "Miles Baby please, it was only sex, I'm sorry. I love you, only you. Please forgive me." I squeezed the trigger and the 9mm bullet grazed his cheek. "Next time I won't miss. Go to hell Greg" I yelled as he threw the keys to me and ran away like the coward he always was.
I am so deaf.. dumb.. and blind. He had played me for a fool. How many times had he fucked another man? 2 - 4 - 6 times? Who knew? Goith Lange knew, Greg's best buddy in the world. Note to self… ask Goith about Greg's cheating ways. I had to know the truth and I would not get it from the cheater himself.
Things looked better in the bright sunlight of the early morning hours. We literally bumped into each as we hunted for our Sunday newspapers. Mine in the rose bushes, his in the birdbath. We laughed out loud together. "Hello my name is Grant Walker, you are?" he asked raising an eyebrow and flashing me a sexy smile. "Miles… Miles Morgan, nice to meet you." I laughed again at his dripping wet newspaper. "Guess we are new neighbors. Hope I didn't cause you any worry last night." I said blushing at the thought he had heard Greg and I fighting.
"Don't worry, Smiles. I unfortunately know all too well about man troubles," Grant said winking at me. He must be gay too I thought as he knew remembered man-troubles of his own. "Names Miles, M- i- l- e- s," I corrected him. "I know, I heard you the first time but I love your friendly smile and those sweet dimples. Mind if I nick – name you Smiles, just for me?" he asked blushing. How wonderfully cute he was with red cheeks, "Of course, I would be deeply honored Grant" I said bowing and gesturing as if to tip my hat to him.
Grant laughed hard and deep. It was a very hearty laugh that I wanted to hear again. "Grant, maybe you could join me. I have fresh brewed coffee and a dry newspaper we can share. You can even have the sports section first," I asked, hoping Mr. Grant Gorgeous would take me up on my offer. "I would love to Smiles, lead the way friend." Grant said in a low sexy voice.
I entered my townhouse with Grant close on my heels. As he walked past me and I closed the door, I noticed the difference in our bodies. He was six foot five or six, me just barely six feet. He was close to 250 pounds of muscle if not more, me 170 pounds soaking wet. "Please have a seat." I said pointing to the kitchen table. "Thanks Smiles," he said turning the chair backwards and straddling it like a horse. I snickered, a full-fledged macho gay man. "What?" he questioned me a big smile on his handsome face.
I noticed his eyes were a deep emerald green and they were set off by his black curly hair. "How do you take your coffee?" I asked already knowing the answer… black. "Black please and very hot" he answered smiling a killer smile at me. "I bet you, my Smiles take yours with cream… correct?" he asked sure of himself. "And not just any cream, flavored cream. I'm guessing vanilla… right?" he snickered.
I walked our cups to the table and handed Grant his as I sat down across from him. "You are correct Sir, vanilla it is. Tell me, what you do for a living Mr. Smarty Pants?" We laughed together which was refreshing for me after being with Greg. "Smart yes, I own the "Baron and the Beef" restaurant on Maple Drive," he told me, his chest puffing up with pride and rightfully so.
The Baron and the Beef was the only 5 star restaurant for 60 miles. It had been in business for 10 years and had a fantastic reputation, I had eaten there many times. It was always packed and the customers didn't mind standing in line for an hour or more to get in. "Wow Grant… I'm impressed. You are indeed a very smart man." I told him sincerely. "Please tell me all about you, other than you make a perfect cup of coffee," he asked seeming truly interested. "Well… I'm 35 years old and single as you know. I'm the President and C.E.O. of the Farmers and Merchants bank, the south-east region," I too fluffed up with pride. "Alright ! A money man !" Grant said happily. "I could learn to be a kept man, yes I could." He cheered and we both busted up laughing.
Our easy conversation continued and before we knew it lunch time rolled around. "Miles do me the honor of being my guest for lunch. I see most of your stuff is still packed up and I love to cook," he looked at me expectantly. "Let me return the favor for the coffee and newspaper, no need to dress or shave," I realized we were still in wearing what we had slept in, T-shirts and pajama bottoms. He looked at me, his green eyes full of hope. "How can I refuse, lead the way friend," I said as I took his offered hand. Grant seemed delighted, his face lite up and his smile said what no words could.
I was happy too, I was getting some good vibrations from him and we were at ease around each other. Comfortable, like we had known each other for years. Something I had never had with another man. Grant led me inside his townhouse next to mine and again I was impressed, this time by his sense of style in decorating. His place was done in shades of blue, tan and green and accent colors of red and yellow brought attention to key areas or items. "Did you do the decorating Grant?" I asked. "Who else ? I'm a regular Martha Stewart," he joked. "Miles help me please. Be my Sous-chef and help with our lunch?" he asked smoothly.
I walked into the kitchen and Grant's head was buried in the fridge. I couldn't stop myself from thinking how delicious he looked bent over, his firm ass on display for me to undress. A small moan escaped my lips and I swear I thought I saw him clench and unclench his sweet ass cheeks or was that wishful thinking on my part? "Help me choose Sous-chef, seared flounder in a lemon sauce or citrus chicken?" he asked. "Flounder for sure," I answered. He started throwing produce over his head for me to catch. "In coming!" he shouted, laughing. "Smiles make us a salad and butter the bread for baking, please."
"Of course Master chef, no problem!" I jabbed at him. Grant moaned loudly and stopped cutting lemons. He walked to me slowly, "I love the Master idea, my Miles. Is that a suggestion or a promise?" he asked in a deep gravelly voice. I froze watching this hunk of a man approaching me.
My heartrate increased and my breathing became labored. He stopped just shy of touching me, I could feel his body heat and feel his breath in my hair. My lips were only inches from his neck and I took all of my self-control not to lick him, taste him and suck those sweet spots.
"Miles," he said breathless "I have never been this comfortable with another man before. I don't want to mess-up what we have happening between us by moving too fast but God help me, I need to kiss you," he said in a sultry voice. All I could do was nod a yes. My heart pounding in my ears as he slowly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his quivering body. My bones seemed to liquefy and I grabbed him around his back before I melted to the floor from his touch.
God he was all muscle, hard and firm all over and I loved the feel of him. "I love your 5 o'clock shadow. You are so handsome," he whispered in my ear giving me chills. You could hear the crackling of the electricity between us and when he pressed his soft, wet lips to mine, I could feel the sparks all over my body. I pushed into his body and lips harder and that's all Grant needed.
He pressed his tongue urgently against my crease and I allowed him to enter my hungry mouth. We both moaned loudly and our hands were all over each other's backs, in each other's hair and holding each other's faces. Our sweet kiss continued with our tongues dancing in passion, lips were softly bitten and we moaned together in pleasure.
Grant pulled away from me and pressed his forehead to mine, "Miles if I don't stop now, I may go too far too soon. I adore your lips, I love your taste. I could kiss you all night," he said smiling. "I feel the same way Grant." I whispered. "I am so happy to hear that, so happy," he said giving me a quick peck and releasing me. He went back to the kitchen, "Let's get back to fixing lunch, okay? I'm starving," he laughed.
Salad made and table set, I opened the wine to breathe. "What more can I do to help Grant?" He was washing up a few dishes, looking up he said softly "I could use another kiss." I walked over to him as he licked his lips, God he was so sexy and my body had not forgotten our first touch. "Hurry," He whispered.
I let my body rest on his back and snaked my hands under his arms and let myself feel his hard abs. "Uuummm you feel so good," he moaned. I could not resist, I pressed my body hard into his knowing he could feel my long thick erection low on his ass. "You feel good too." I whispered in his ear. Grant groaned as he ground his hips into me, "Miles, yum…yum, you are packing some serious meat." We both knew there would be no stopping this time.
"You know it. God, I want inside of you so damn bad," I told him pressing harder. I had him forced against the sink with no hope of escape as I worked both our t-shirts over our heads. My bare hairy chest met his broad naked back, skin against skin. That feeling always drives me wild and I nibbled and kissed his neck. Grant moaned as I licked and kissed his shoulders. Our sexual chemistry was undeniable, we were both feeling it and trying not to cave into it in the kitchen.
I wanted this man like no other and I was willing to do anything…say anything to have my way with him. "Grant," I said between licks and kisses. "I want you. I want your cock in my mouth… my cock in your ass. I want you right here right now," I begged. "Yes… take me. All of me now," he purred. I turned him around and feel to my knees. I quickly lower his pajama bottoms exposing his 8 inch thick cock, large hairy balls and big black hairy bush. I looked up at him, "I love an all-natural hairy man." I buried my face in his wiry bush and breathed deep. His smell made me dizzy with desire, "Honey I love your smell so musky and manly. Aaahh… yes, so sweet." I confessed, my voice muffled as my face was still in his bush.
He pressed my head harder into his mound and said "I love a man who likes a hairy man. Yes… you have me so horny, taste me… lick me." He released my head and I went to work licking the pre-cum from his beautiful cock. He was indeed ready, I messaged his balls as I licked his cock all over. I took it into my mouth slowly running my tongue around the head.
Bang…. bang….bang. What the hell I thought. I stood and Grant pulled up his pants and grabbed his shirt. BAM… BAM…BAM… someone was hitting the front door hard. "Miles I know you're in there. Goith saw you go in, we are not done. Come out Baby so we can talk," Gregory yelled while still banging on the door. Grant looked at me, "Your ex… the one you shot at?" I nodded, "Sorry Grant, I thought he got the message." He smiled and gave me a kiss, "Don't you worry my Smiles, I'll take care of him"……….
Part #2 coming soon…………….thanks for reading and posting….A.


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Drop Cookies
Drop cookies are perhaps the most well known type of cookie. They are formed by portioning the dough with a spoon or disher. As they bake, they spread, so place them an adequate distance from each other on the baking sheet.
Examples of drop cookies: Chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, white chocolate macadamia nut
Rolled Cookies
Rolled cookies are made by flattening a dense dough with a rolling pin and cutting out shapes with a cookie cutter. It is important to refrigerate the dough prior to baking so the dough does not overspread and lose its shape.
Examples of rolled cookies: Sugar, gingerbread
Ice Box Cookies
Ice Box (or Refrigerator) cookies can be made from almost any dough that can be used for rolled cookies. The dough is formed into a log that is refrigerated and then sliced into pieces of the desired thickness. One technique, as shown in the picture, is to roll two different types of dough together, forming a pinwheel-like appearance. Using a dough with chunky items in it (chocolate chips, nuts, etc.) is not recommended, as it does not form smooth, even cuts.
Examples of Icebox Cookies: Pinwheel, sugar, any cookie with a thick dough
Molded Cookies
No, these cookies aren't covered with an unappetizing green fuzz. Molded cookies are shaped by hand. This could be rolling them into a ball prior to putting them on a baking sheet, making an indention for filling as in the image above, or folding them into the signature shape of a fortune cookie.
Examples of Molded Cookies: Fortune cookies, thumbprints, peanut butter blossoms, almond crescents
Bar Cookies
Bar cookies are, as the name implies, cookies that are cut into bars. That means that, despite their cake-like consistency, brownies are in fact cookies.
Examples of Bar Cookies: Brownies, biscotti, lemon bars
Pressed Cookies
Pressed cookies are formed by pushing the dough through some sort of form, whether a pastry bag like one might use for icing a cake or a spritzer, a tool with different attachments that create different shapes when the dough is pressed through
Examples of Pressed Cookies: Spritz cookies, shortbread
To achieve crispy cookies, use a higher proportion of white sugar to brown sugar, butter as the fat, replace most or all of the eggs with milk. This will increase spread and produce a crispier cookie.
For soft, cake-like cookies, use more brown sugar, shortening as the fat, baking powder, and all eggs (no milk).
For chewy cookies, use bread flour, baking soda, more brown than white sugar, replace some of the eggs with milk, and chill the dough prior to baking. Cold dough does not spread as much, which produces the chewy texture.
Sugar is best known for giving a cookie its beloved sweetness, but it is much more important than that. Sugar helps to tenderize the product, and, through the process of caramelizing, it gives cookies their golden brown color. There are several different types of sugar, from your standard white table sugar to dust-like powdered sugar to molasses-sweetened brown sugar. Each has its own place in baking. White sugar helps to form crisper cookies, brown sugar adds moisture to a cookie, giving it a softer, chewier texture, and powdered sugar is typically used to dust baked goods after they are baked for a final burst of sweetness. There are other sweeteners out there, including honey, corn syrup, and molasses. These give cookies their sweetness and add a lot of moisture to the dough. For most cookie recipes, only white and brown sugar will be used.
It's always important to keep safety and sanitation in mind while cooking. When making cookies that contain egg, crack the egg into a separate bowl rather than straight into the forming dough. This way, if any shell is left in the egg, it is easier to detect and remove. Also, as always, be sure to wash your hands after handling raw eggs. Yes, the risk of catching salmonella is fairly low, but why chance it?
When baking the cookies, be sure you don't confuse parchment paper with wax paper. Parchment paper is a wonderful, nonstick lining for baking sheets, but wax paper, though similar in appearance, is not good to use. Wax paper smokes and produces a foul odor in the oven.
Cookies should be moved from the pan to a cooling rack as soon as they have set, as the heat from the pan can continue to cook them. This is why cookies should be removed from the oven when they look slightly underdone. Cookies should be stored in an airtight container such as a ziplock bag or wrapped securely and put in the freezer. At room temperature, they can keep for a few days. In the freezer,mr hey can keep for over a month as long as they are wrapped so no air can get in.


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|Matsu Chizuki
|Matsu Kenji,
Matsu Michi
|Matsu Hachiken,
Matsu Rika
|Betrothed to Daidoji Reiji
|Matsu Daimyo
Matsu Chizuki was the Matsu Daimyo in the late 12th century, trained in the Matsu Beastmaster school.
Beastmaster Edit
Zaiko was her favored battlecat. [1]
Matsu Daimyo Edit
Chizuki became the Matsu Daimyo [2] as the oldest daughter of the late Matsu Kenji. Somebody dared to suggest in court that she was actually the result of a tryst between the venerable Matsu Kenji and Ikoma Otemi. Her younger son was Matsu Hachiken, [3] and her youngest sister was Matsu Rika. [4] Her father was Matsu Michi. [5]
War with the Scorpion Edit
After several skirmishes in the Scorpion border, the Otomo granted the Lion to wage war on the Scorpion. Chizuki, who was filled with hatred, sent a message to the Scorpion Clan Champion Bayushi Nitoshi. [6] She told Matsu Karoko that she had to spend the winter training her troops, to attack the Scorpion when the spring thaws came. [7]
Winter Court - 1199 Edit
At the end of the Winter Court of 1199, Chizuki became betrothed to Daidoji Reiji, a member of the Crane Clan delegation in Toshi Ranbo. [8]
Kakita insult to the Matsu Edit
In 1200 her betrothed Reiji met Kakita Daitsu at Shiro Matsu during a celebration. Doji Hoshihana and two Ikoma Bards weaved a tale of the defense of the Kitsu Tombs, attacked by the Scorpion Clan in 1199. Daitsu had defended the Tombs with a trio of Matsu for most of the battle, and after they were slaughtered, he stood before the shrine to Lady Matsu, fending off the enemy, one at a time. Chizuki had realized that doing so, the Kakita had offered an insult to the Matsu. [9]
Attacking the Scorpion Edit
Her Lady Akodo Dairuko ordered Chizuki to lead a contingent of Matsu troops to the Scorpion Clan, crossing the small Shamate Pass. Their enemies were waiting them, collapsed the pass behind the front group, cutting them off. Chizuki and her personal guard, Matsu Tayuko, rallied the Lion troops to victory. [10] They advanced into the Fukitsu province, nearby the Second Festering Pit. During an engagement with the Scorpion forces, the Rokugani were surprised by the attack of Oni, appearing from a breach in the Scorpion Wall. In the Battle at the Second Pit Chizuki regrouped and took the Crab troops under her command, suffering heavy losses. Chizuki and most of her command staff survived. [11] After their defeat in the Second Pit the Lion were routed from Shamate Pass. [12]
Scorpion Manipulation Edit
Recent research of Imperial maps clarified that the northern portion of the Kintani Valley fell within the purview of Seizuka Shiro. Matsu Iwoshi under the command of a Lion army forced the Crane to vacate Shiro Kyotei. Chizuki arrived to rebuke her retainer, who had followed orders forged by the Scorpion, who expected to create a second front for the Lion. During the incident Shiro no Yojin had been stormed by the Crane, which forced Chizuki to relinquish their claim in order to get back the Lion strognghold. The Ancestral Standard of the Lion, seized during the Kakita assault, remained in the hands of the Crane. [13]
Rise of Jigoku Edit
In 1200 Chizuki was appointed as the Lion representative in the Imperial Court, because her Lady was leading the defense of Rokugan against the rebellious Spider Clan. Daigotsu Kanpeki had stormed Toshi Ranbo, but he had failed to find and kill the Emperor, leaving the Imperial City shortly after. The Crab Clan Champion Hida Kisada blamed that the Spider forces had vanished before the assembled Rokugani armies would engage them. The Phoenix revealed the location of the Third Seal, which was eventually destroyed by an endless horde of Shadowlands creatures. The Mantis Islands fell and the Rise of Jigoku was unleashed. [14]
External Links Edit
- Matsu Chizuki (Twenty Festivals)
|Preceded by:
Matsu Kenji
|Matsu Daimyo
(c. 1198) - Present
|Succeeded by:
- ↑ Zaiko (Twenty Festivals Title and flavor)
- ↑ The New Order, Part 1, by Shawn Carman
- ↑ Scenes from the Empire, by Robert Denton & Shawn Carman
- ↑ Aftermath, Part 3, by Robert Denton and Seth Mason
- ↑ Scenes from the Empire, Part 20, by Robert Denton & Yoon Ha Lee
- ↑ A Line in the Sand, Part 2, by Shawn Carman
- ↑ The New Order, Part 1, by Shawn Carman
- ↑ The Daimyo Project, by C. Thomas Hand, Mari Murdock, and Maxime Lemaire
- ↑ Spring Kotei 2015 Fiction Act 1: Opening Moves, Day 4, by Chris Hand, Maxime Lemaire, Mari Murdock, Fred Wan, and Robert Denton
- ↑ Scenes From the Empire 43, by C Thomas Hand and Maxime Lemaire
- ↑ Thunderous Acclaim – Part 2, by Shawn Carman & Chris Hand
- ↑ Bayushi Chizuken (Thunderous Acclaim flavor)
- ↑ Spring 2015 Kotei Fiction – Act 2: Troubled Waters (Part 1), by Chris Hand, Maxime Lemaire, Mari Murdock, Fred Wan, and Robert Denton
- ↑ The Dawn of Onyx Edition
|This Lion Clan related article is a stub. That means that it has been started, but is incomplete. You can help by adding to the information here.


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23 octobre 2014 4 23 /10 /octobre /2014 11:30
HMS Kent left Portsmouth today for a six-month deployment focusing on maritime security operations in the Indian Ocean. HMS Kent will continue the Royal Navy's long-term presence East of Suez as she replaces HMS Northumberland currently on station. Having been through intense training the ship is ready for a challenging deployment as part of the Royal Navy's standing commitment in the Middle East.
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Published by RP Defense - dans Europe UK Royal Navy HMS Kent Portsmouth Gulf & Middle East Indian Ocean HMS Northumberland Navy Defence
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by Mike C
Father above, I come to you in sadness,frustration and loss of direction. I have put myself in a terrible position and is now causing undue strife in my marriage.I have left my job because of massive stress and the inability do my job well anymore.
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Daily Prayers.
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text:
Chi Reversal was a Mastery 5 Water spell which allowed the shugenja to control the flow of Chi through the body of a target, in order to alter the target's balance of energy. [1]
- ↑ Book of Water, p. 184
|This magic or religion related article is a stub. That means that it has been started, but is incomplete. You can help by expanding this article.


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The U.S. Board on Geographic Names (BGN) was created to address the problems caused by spelling and naming variations. The BGN will usually recognize an existing name or, when necessary, establish a new name for a geographic feature (such as a mountain, lake, river, stream, city, town, village, dam, bridge, etc).
The BGN names are kept in a database called the Geographic Names Information System (GNIS) and it is the official Federal repository. The GNIS is operated and maintained by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS).
A unique and permanent code has been assigned for each name in the GNIS database. These names and identifiers are definitive and it is intended that they are to be used by all departments of the Federal Government:
GNIS ID for West Jefferson: 2406862
GNIS ID for Jefferson County: 161562
GNIS ID for Alabama: 1779775
In a past effort, various federal agencies worked together to create a set of codes with a purpose similar to the GNIS codes. These codes are called the Federal Information Processing Standard (or the FIPS 55 codes). Although they are still used by some organizations, the FIPS codes are obsolete and will ultimately be replaced by the GNIS codes.
The following FIPS codes apply to West Jefferson:
Since the Place and County FIPS codes are not unique and can be repeated in other States, it's necessary to combine the State code with the Place and County FIPS codes to uniquely identify them - for example:
As already mentioned, the FIPS codes are to be replaced by the GNIS codes. The following reflect those changes:
An important aspect of the GNIS code is that it assigns a GPS location (the latitude/longitude) to the geographic feature. This location is simply a point on the map and does not represent the size or shape of the feature. In the case of West Jefferson, it is a point within West Jefferson that might be a post office, the city hall or simply an intersection - the point should really be considered arbitrary and only indicating a general location.
For West Jefferson, the GNIS GPS location is given as:
Lat: 33° 38' 54" (or 33.65°)
Lon: -87° 4' 9" (or -87.07°) [Map]
Determined by its statistical needs, the Census Bureau has defined a sampling area for West Jefferson - this area also contains a map point. As with the GNIS code, the location of the Census point should be considered as being arbitrary within the sampling area.
For West Jefferson, the Census 2010 GPS location is given as:
Lon: -87° 4' 4" (or -87.07°) [Map]
The map point defined by the Census Bureau lies 366.8 feet to the east<1> of the point given by the GNIS (see above).
You might note that the GPS location given for the 2010 Census is different than the location that was specified by the 2000 Census:
Lat: 33° 38' 59" (or 33.65°)
Lon: -87° 4' 16" (or -87.07°) [Map]
The GPS location given for the 2000 Census lies 1,077 feet to the northwest<2> of the point given by the 2010 Census.
For statistical purposes, the US Census Bureau has divided the country into four Regions. West Jefferson is located in Region #3 (the South Region).
In turn, the US Census Bureau has further divided each Region into Divisions. West Jefferson is located in Division #6 (the East South-Central Division).
The Office of Management and Budget (OMB) has created ten Federal Regions. West Jefferson is located in Region IV (Region 4).
GNIS ID #128785 (Name of Record: West Jefferson)
Class: populated place
A place or area having clustered or scattered buildings and a permanent population (such as a city, settlement, town or village). The boundaries may or may not coincide with the perceived population.
A 'populated place' record may have a corresponding 'census' or 'civil' record. The information contained in the 'populated place' record applies only to the class and should not be confused with either the 'census' and 'civil' classes.
County: Jefferson
Map Name: Dora
Lat: 33.6492731 Lon: -87.0686089 [Map]
Elev: 125 ft.
GNIS ID #2406862 (Name of Record: Town of West Jefferson)
Class: civil
A political division formed for administrative purposes (such as a borough, county, incorporated place, parish, town or township).
A 'civil' record may have a corresponding 'census' or 'populated place' record. The information contained in the 'civil' record applies only to the class and should not be confused with either the 'census' and 'populated place' classes.
Lat: 33.6484993 Lon: -87.069208 [Map]
Elev: 122 ft.
FIPS Code: 01/81336 (Place Name: West Jefferson)
County: Jefferson (FIPS State/County: 01/073)
Class: C1
Identifies an incorporated place (ie- West Jefferson) that does not serve as a primary county division - or in other words, it is included in and is part of a primary county division (ie- Jefferson County).
GSA Code: 3260
MRF Code: 1817
MSA Code: 1000
Find a Community within Alabama
About Jefferson County
About Alabama
The official website of the U.S. Board on Geographic Names (BGN)
The official website of the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS)
The official website of the U.S. Census Bureau
Unfortunately, we don't know of a website for West Jefferson. If you can help, please contact us through our Feedback Page.
The official website for Jefferson County: www.jeffcointouch.com/
The official website for State of Alabama: www.alabama.gov/
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For additional information, please visit our Glossary for West Jefferson.
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text:
Why Your Attic Is Key to Pre-Winter Roof Check-Ups
Which means what? All things considered, as any mindful mortgage holder most likely knows, this is one of the two times every year when should check the strength of your rooftop. (Among different reasons, since it's critical to a home's vitality effectiveness.) But who needs to climb a step 25 feet or so into the sky when the climate is turning strongly colder and nastier?
That is the place your storage room comes in.
As indicated by Jason Joplin, program supervisor of the Center for the Advancement of Roofing Excellence, that space you're most likely utilizing for the most part for capacity can substitute, as a fallback, for the eyeball rooftop check ordinarily prescribed to be done each pre-winter and spring.
"Rooftops really make a protected boundary that traps warm inside, and most storage room spaces are found directly beneath them," says Joplin. "That makes them ideal for spotting potential issue territories and harm without stressing over tumbling off a step."
This is what to search for while you're up there:
* Water spills. As beyond any doubt as tweeting at 3 AM is by and large a terrible thought, it will soon storm. What's more, when it shines, an electric lamp up in the upper room to check for trickling water and buildup, as well as for water recolors on the roof, dividers and floors. All flag that H2O is discovering its way underneath your rooftop's shingles or behind its flashings.
* Ventilation. "Think about the loft as the lungs of the house," prompts Joplin. "It must have the capacity to take so as to capacity legitimately." Which is to say, vents loaded down with flotsam and jetsam should be cleared.
* Animal harm. You know those "In the event that you see something, say something" country security promotions? All things considered, to maintain a strategic distance from the destruction asylum looking for flying creatures, bats, squirrels and raccoons can make, cautioning chimes ought to in like manner sound - trailed by a call to a nuisance control professional - on the off chance that you recognize any of these indications: homes, droppings and chewed wood, wires or protections.
* Structural issues. The minor clue of a hanging rooftop - gaze upward for this one - could demonstrate potential auxiliary shortcoming requiring proficient repair.
What's more, if delaying your rooftop's life is your objective, specialists say it pays to counsel an expert material temporary worker who's protected and uses quality materials, for example, the most recent triple-layer line of Glenwood Shingles - the thickest of its kind, with a valid wood-shake look - from GAF, North America's biggest material maker. A free administration that makes it simple to discover a processing plant confirmed contractual worker in your general vicinity can be found at gaf.com.
Why Your Attic Is Key to Pre-Winter Roof Check-Ups
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text:
Sweet Lemon Cups
Be the first to review
READY IN: 25mins
Recipe by Aimchick
I got this recipe from a Betty Crocker contest and I love these. I could a million of these. Very easy and so delicious
See Discussion:
Ingredients Nutrition
- 1 (17 1/2 ounce) packagebetty crocker sugar cookie mix (1 Lb, 1.5 Oz)
- 1⁄3 cup ground almonds
- 6 tablespoons melted butter
- 1 (3 ounce) package fat free cream cheese, softened
- 1 (12 ounce) jar lemon curd
- 1 1⁄2 cups Cool Whip
- 1 teaspoon lemon zest
Directions See How It's Made
- Heat oven to 375°F Spray 36 mini muffin cups with cooking spray.
- In large bowl, stir cookie mix, ground almonds, butter and cream cheese until soft dough forms.
- Shape dough into 36 (1 1/4-inch) balls. Press each ball in bottom and up side of muffin cup.
- Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely in pan, about 30 minutes.
- Remove cookie cups from pan. Fill each with about 1 1/2 teaspoons lemon curd.
- Top with a small amount of cool whip and lemon zest.
- Store in refrigerator until ready to serve.


text:
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Vinyl release of the ultimate early Psychobilly Garage Punk compilation album.Featuring The Phantom, The Trashmen, The Sonics, The Novas, Legendary Stardust Cowboy, Hasil Adkins, The Meteors, The Cramps, Tav Falco's Panther Burns, The Gun Club, The Geezers, The Sting-Rays and The Guana Batz.
Raucous Records is the longest establisted 1950s Rock 'n' Roll, Rockabilly and Psychobilly CD, DVD and vinyl specialist on the internet.A world of Rockabilly, Psychobilly, Surf, Swing and 1950s Rock 'n' Roll delivered to your door.
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text:
If I hear about something that will make things better, easier, "prettier" ;-> , or help us be well informed I will share it. Today I learned about a site to help bloggers get the word out about their giveaways, it's called Giveaway Scout.
Giveaway Scout is a giveaway search engine. Users subscribe to receive updates on the latest giveaways on the web. And your blog and your giveaways will be exposed to our large network or users. So, if you are in the Review/Giveaway catagory give GiveawayScout.com a try.