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Nothing makes for limerick fodder like a mayor charged with corruption. Alas, that news broke too late Wednesday, so our poets have one week to figure out words that rhyme with Cannon.
There were plenty of other topics in the news, though, and this week's entrants seemed to be especially taken with Franklin Graham, toe-suckers and Starbucks selling alcoholic drinks. We hate to name the same winner in back-to-back weeks, but there was no denying John Long of Stanley this week's top honors.
His take on the man arrested after sucking a woman's toes at a Lincolnton Wal-Mart:
Long also weighed in on the Hobby Lobby case being argued before the Supreme Court.
And he worries about drinking alcohol at Starbucks:
Long's son, Wes Long of Cramerton, has been watching a lot of cable TV coverage of the jetliner missing in the Indian Ocean:
Ken Burrows of Charlotte heard Jimmy Carter's take on NSA spying, and wonders if even the Observer's Limericks contest is under surveillance:
Bill McGloughlin of Charlotte isn't buying the idea that Charlotte could land the NBA All-Star game if we spruce up Time Warner Cable Arena.
Finally, Phil Clutts of Harrisburg thinks Army General Jeffrey Sinclair maybe got off easy in his sexual misconduct trial.
As usual, we received dozens more outstanding entries than we could fit here. Go to www.charlotteobserver.com/limericks to read more. And then get cracking on Cannon.
(Send all entries to tbatten@
Toe sucker at large! What a shock!
That guy needs a head-shrinking doc.
Though the law's on his track,
Walmart wants him back,
'Cause the gals are lined up 'round the block.
Regarding the requested improvements to TWC arena…
Hobby Lobby might see the world differently…
We're losing the battle in our sanctions fight with Russia.
Job Creators, take note: Amelie's
Hires people with suspect CV's,
While betting their cash on
Misfits with passion
To purvey their muffins and teas.
It's like the news cycle's on hold,
The same stories, and they're getting old.
Airplane, ash, and Crimea.
Sure would be nice to see a
Lake Flasher, but it's too darn cold.
His discomfort with gays, that I get,And he's free to express it, and yet,
To announce that he's rootin'
For Vladimir Putin?
Someone tell Franklin just to say, "Nyet!"
The Queen City has earned adulation
As a much to be envied location
But the drive into work
Is hardly a perk
The commute has become a staycation
Franklin Graham, I think it's ok,
Telling "sinners" that they've lost their way.
Yet the words that you use,
echo unChristian views.
We're all children of God, straight or gay.
I can help with those shoes, said he.
I'm a student of Podiatry.
Though he sucked on her toes,
could be worse I suppose,
If he studied Gynecology.
While Russia returns to Ivan the Great
Ukraine fears the enemy at the gate
The Allies they will scold
And leave Putin in the cold
To which he replies, I could have had a G-8!
The Army was forever in great despair
in regards to the illicit military affair
But it wasn't Crimea
Or pesky old North Korea
It was his privates that did in General Sinclair.
When the Fed Bank chose GM to bail,
They announced it was too big to fail,
GM hid conditions
Of faulty ignitions.
Is their management to big to jail?
Fellow soccer moms, what do we do?
At Starbucks, chardonnay and fondue!
Where we once went for joe,
They now let the wine flow.
Call a cab. It's a quarter to two.
General Jeffrey, you need to atone.
Poor command of your privates you've shown.
The judge all but dismissed
With a slap on the wrist.
But your shot at five stars has been blown.


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This Solar Lid Light features a handle and fits any standard Mason jar. (does not fit wide-mouth jars.) 3" diameter. Includes a 46" string of 12 Angel Tear LED Lights in a star shape. Use these lights outside or inside. Packaged with an attractive header card. Measures 3" diameter. Jar is not included.
Set of 4
Available 3/22/2017
Free Shipping
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subset: commoncrawl


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Home office? Check. Pink planner? Check. Mary Kay Starter Kit? Check. And you're ready to start your own Mary Kay business! Click to get started.
Essential Oil Body Wrap- "I prefer the essential oil body wraps because they are less messy. You just apply the oil mixture to the area, then wrap in plastic wrap. Be sure to use therapeutic grade essential oils if you want results." For a great source of therapeutic essential oils visit www.kthompson.vibrantscents.com Be sure to drink plenty of water after.
How to find the right colors to match your #skin: (#INFOGRAPHIC) - See more information about your skin and health here: http://www.healthcentral.com/skin-care/c/906496/170483/finding-match-infographic/?ap=2012
Low Carb Gluten-Free Fruit Pizza
Oven Omelet. This recipe is sooooo good and the eggs come out really fluffy.
Getting Rid of Your Double Chin - 4 Steps in 7 Days
How to Market Your Business With Pinterest. For a quick overview of Pinterest this 6 min video is a great first start. Simple and easy to follow. One thing I have learned over this past year is that Sarah Robbins sure does love to teach. Well worth a quick look.
Generate up to 100 leads a day in your Mary Kay business!!!
mary kay inventory for taxes | Tax Deductable Expenses of Operating a Mary Kay Business lip color
Bronze is beautiful. Ebony is elegant. For richer skin tones, stick with earth tones for eyes like Mary Kay® Eye Color in Amber Blaze or Emerald for a more natural look. Bring out your cheeks with reddish browns and berries like Mary Kay® Cheek Color in Golden Copper or Bold Berry!


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In the last 90 days, 0 listings have come on the market, which means leases are probably leasing quickly. You'll want to be prepared to tour spaces as quick as possible. About NaN% of the available leases in the College Park are subleases, so you will probably have to consider a longer term lease. There aren't many listings below 2,000 square feet on the market, so finding a space for a small business might be tough.
Even though the median size is 11,180 sqft, there are still 0 new listings below 2,000 sqft. Most buildings in this area are around 1 stories. Most buildings in this area were built in 1970 and are Class B.
Trends and status of the commercial real estate market in College Park.
Market Report
Real time and historical data on commercial real estate listings in College Park.


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"I may not know much, but I know
Here are some "thought stimulating" quotes from Lyndon Baines Johnson, 36th President of the United States:
"You aren't learning anything when you're talking."
"What convinces is conviction. Believe in the argument you're advancing. If you don't you're as good as dead. The other person will sense that something isn't there, and no chain of reasoning, no matter how logical or elegant or brilliant, will win your case for you."
"Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose."
"There are plenty of recommendations on how to get out of trouble cheaply and fast. Most of them come down to this: Deny your responsibility."
"Books and ideas are the most effective weapons against intolerance and ignorance."
"There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves."
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: 'President Can't Swim.'"
"We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it."
"While you're saving your face, you're losing your ass."
"A President's hardest task is not to do what is right, but to know what is right."
"If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
"The noblest search is the search for excellence."
Lyndon Baines Johnson (August 27, 1908 – January 22, 1973), succeeded to the presidency following the assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963, completed Kennedy's term and was elected President in 1964. As President, he was responsible for designing the "Great Society" legislation that included laws that upheld civil rights, public broadcasting, Medicare, Medicaid, environmental protection, aid to education, and his "War on Poverty." Johnson escalated American involvement in the Vietnam War, from 16,000 American advisors/soldiers in 1963 to 550,000 combat troops in early 1968, stimulating a large antiwar movement.


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Each session includes 6 classes, 1 hour each. Basic Obedience will teach you basic commands and offer solutions to issues you might be having at home. Sign Up To sign up or for more information: Click or call 732-440-1542CONTINUE READING
Come drop off your new or gently used linens and receive a $25 Pier Village Gift Card! Donations will be accepted outside of Indulge Lounge & Food Bar. An awesome way to give and get! MCSPCA Linen Drive at Pier Village FlyerCONTINUE READING
Please join us for a buffet brunch to benefit the animals in our care. Honoring MCSPCA Board of Trustees Secretary and Auxiliary President Josephine Joel. Purchase Tickets Online The event will take place on Sunday, February 10, 2013 at 11:00am at McLoone's Pier House at Pier Village in Long Branch. Cost is $75 per person […]CONTINUE READING
The New Jersey Convention Center has decided to close Friday evening, so the show WILL NOT open Friday night. WELCOME TO THE PET LOVERS DREAM WEEKEND! FUN—Exciting Edutainment for Pet Lovers SHOP—Shop 150+ Local & National Exhibitors ADOPT – Meet Adoptable Pets LEARN—Learn About Different Pets and Pet Related Products PLAY—Leashed Pets Welcome – Retractable Leashes […]CONTINUE READING
Have your pet's photo taken with Santa! $5 from each photo purchase is donated to the MCSPCA. PetSmart West Long Branch December 8 & 9 • 11AM – 4PM PetSmart Ocean December 15 & 16 • 11AM – 4 PMCONTINUE READING
Each session includes 6 classes, 1 hour each. Training is important for all puppies under 6 moths of age. Kindergarten will help give you and your pup a good foundation to work with. Besides socializing your puppy, you will learn basic commands and ways to address jumping, mouthing and housebreaking. Sign Up To sign up […]CONTINUE READING


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NEW: Klarus XT20 v.2
The new upgraded Klarus XT20 v.2 with XM-L2 (U2) LED and 1550 lumens has just landed at Taclight HQ!
Boasting an impressive 1550 ANSI lumens (350 more than version 1) and greater output, beam throw and light intensity on all modes without sacrificing runtime. The XM-L2(U2) LED is the latest module in the Cree XM-L range, which is proving to be an exceptionally good upgrade to the previous XM-L U2 LED.
You now have even more power and performance at your fingertips with two of the latest, highly efficient LEDs mounted in the dual head of the Klarus XT20. This slimline, in-line design of the dual head makes it a perfect close body carry torch for professional applications; i.e. Police, Security, Search & Rescue, etc.
Order the latest XT20 from the TacLight store...
0% finance is available on all orders over £275 from our finance partner Pay4Later. You can choose from 6, 10 or 12 months 0% interest, with as little as 10% deposit and up to a maximum of 50%. Simply select "Finance" at the checkout and click on the link to Pay4Later.
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call us on 01535 610066 and we can guide you through the whole process.


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SGPC seeks Centre's intervention in ensuring Pak Sikhs' safetyYudhvir Rana | TNN | Jan 11, 2013, 07.03 AM IST
AMRITSAR: The Akal Takht and Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee (SGPC) have demanded Centre's intervention in ensuring safety of their community members in Pakistan. The demand has come in the wake of beheading of a 40-year-old Sikh man in Pakistan's tribal region on Wednesday.
Akal Takht Jathedar Giani Gurbachan Singh on Thursday said the beheading was one of the most heinous crimes committed against minorities in Pakistan and that India should raise this issue. "The Union government should immediately take up the issue with Pakistan to ensure safety of Sikhs of Pakistan," said the jathedar.
Terming the incident as most barbaric and gruesome, SGPC president Avtar Singh Makkar said the government should take up the issue of safety of Sikhs with Pakistan government on a priority basis. Mohinder Singh, who was abducted over a month ago in the Khyber region by a militant group for allegedly spying for another rival group, was beheaded and his mutilated body was dumped in a market in Khyber.
Meanwhile, United Sikhs, a UK-based NGO, has sought compensation for the victim's family besides safety of minority communities and have also cautioned Sikhs travelling in Pakistan.
Manvinder Singh, advocate, United Sikhs, told TOI on Thursday that Mohinder Singh was kidnapped from his shop in Tabbai village of Khyber Agency by unidentified armed men on November 20, 2012.
"Mohinder is survived by nine children. Pakistan government should adequately compensate his family," Manvinder added.
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God's love and compassion for all people
The unique worth of all human beings made in God's image
The sensitive application of God's Word to people's lives
Pastoral care is integral to the life of the church - it's what we do for each other as we form relationships and learn to love one another. It is the attitude of being attentive to each other's joys and sorrows, difficulties and successes; where we both give and receive help, support and encouragement from one another.
Pastoral care may take place in many different situations; either on a one to one basis or within existing small groups.
One to one pastoral care is based on building relationships, recognising that there are many within our church community who are dealing with issues such as loss, grief, poor health, broken or damaged relationships, past hurts and future fears and feelings such as poor self worth, guilt and shame. A one to one relationship provides a safe place where people are free to express these things without being judged or condemned. We will encourage and support people in developing their relationship with God as they work through these issues.
The various small groups in the church e.g. home groups, Kids and Co, Meeting Point etc provide a supportive and encouraging environment for pastoral care not only on a spiritual level through prayer and learning from scripture but also in very practical ways e.g. cooking meals, babysitting, hospital visiting etc.
As we learn to care for one another we increasingly become a place where people from outside the church community feel welcomed and find a safe place to be, in their own times of difficulty and need. Our Christ-like love and concern for those within our church community will extend naturally to those in our wider town community and beyond.
The senior pastor takes the leading role in the church's pastoral care, working with the community outreach pastor, the elders, the deacon for pastoral care and the pastoral care team to ensure that people in the fellowship and community are supported to grow in their love for Christ and one another.
The pastoral care team within St John's strives to support the senior pastor and to encourage and initiate pastoral care within the church through a variety of ways:
Provide pastoral care to those within our church community.
Model a confidential, non-judgmental, compassionate and prayerful approach to caring for one another.
Support people who are carrying out pastoral care, particularly if they are involved in a stressful situation.
Commit to pray, both as a team and individually.
Organise and facilitate appropriate training for those involved in pastoral care.
Look out for people requiring support - either to provide that support or to ensure that the need is being met by others within the church
As a team we welcome being approached for a chat, requests for prayer, visits or practical help.
If there is a need for pastoral care the team can be contacted through the church office.
Pastoral care team members will respect confidentiality. There may occasionally be times however, when information needs to be shared with an appropriate person and this will take place after discussion with the person seeking support.
Keith Short (Senior Pastor)
Anne Wilkinson (Deacon for Pastoral Care)
David Todd (Community Outreach Pastor)
Douglas Briton
Hazel Briton
Alice Buckley
David Mumford
Jackie Price
Ally Scholes
Adrian Stiles
Pauline Stiles
As a team we welcome your feedback and thoughts on pastoral care.
St John's is committed to:
• The care, nurture of, and respectful pastoral ministry with all adults.
• The safeguarding and protection of all adults when they are vulnerable.
• The establishing of safe, caring communities which provide a loving environment where there is a culture of 'informed vigilance' as to the dangers of abuse.
For information on our guidelines please click here
If you are not a member of St John's please email firstname.lastname@example.com if you would like to view the guidelines.


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63ft Narrowboat for Sale , Built 2006
Add To
My Pontoon
Description & Specification
Patience is a semi-trad Jonathan Wilson boat completed in 2006.
Entering the boat from the rear is a large electric cupboard and wet locker. Inside is the 240v inverter along with the Generator control panel and below a shelf is the Bubble pressure jet boiler.
Forward of this is a closet for the second macerator toilet.
This leads on to the large double cross-bed with extending tail board along with further cupboards, shelves and drawers.
A corridor leads to the shower room which has a good sized glass quadrant shower with marble lining.
There is a contemporary style hand basin and electric macerator toilet.
A wall cabinet and shelving provide for storage.
This leads to a Pullman type saloon which can be converted to a double bed.
A side opening hatch is opposite the dining table.
Next is the galley with two good sized marble effect worktops. There are drawers and storage cupboards below as well as a 12v fridge, oven and grill.
Inset into the worktop is a double sink and 4 burner gas hob.
There are overhead cupboards providing additional storage and the galley also features an opening side hatch.
The forward saloon has a corner cupboard at the forward end and opposite this is the Bubble solid fuel corner stove.
Bookshelves feature alongside one wall as well a flat screen TV.
Attractive full height glazed doors lead to the front deck which is fitted out in mahogany with seating.
The boat is finished in oak veneer and solid oak trim.
Solid wood floor is fitted throughout.
A mahogany frame and cratch cover is fitted as well as a collapsible cover over the rear deck.


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Doctors Need to Uphold Standards of Care
Voters in California, this week rejected a proposal, which would have raised medical malpractice damage caps and required drug testing for doctors. The proposal was opposed by a well-funded campaign led by malpractice insurance companies and the California Medical Association. Opponents claimed that the proposed law... Read More


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Basingstoke spring
A walk in the park with friends, March 2017.
A walk in the park with friends, March 2017.
Photos February 2017 from an exploration with the friend who sort of started this blog.
The Queen's House, Maritime Museum and Chapel of the Royal Naval College.
Learning this with my quartet.
A fun trip with the friend whose birthday started this blog. Thanks Alex! Great start to the new year, all photos on Bank Holiday Monday, January 2017.
A wonderful painting by Max Beckmann of his wife Quappi and daughter in law enjoying oysters in wartime Amsterdam. Currently on show at The Met in New York, photo taken on my visit this autumn.
Looking forward to playing this with my orchestra this weekend. Sadly Mr Jurowski will not be doing the honours this time.
As with last year, I'd like to take today to honour my friends, and also like last year I'm not mentioning family because they're just too privately dear:
Your friend who sets up home with blankets, knitting and a pumpkin and brings you rose chocolates for dark nights.
Your friend who brings you a hygge book to be comfortable with.
Your friend who makes you laugh even over breakfast, who is going to absolutely rip the piss out of you this week, and whose secret, secret bodyguard you are.
Your friend who wrote a PhD – a bloody PhD – and still stayed sane and nice and full of the best showbiz gossip. Also, cocktails.
Your friend who makes you smile every time you get their texts and was your first proper uni friend.
Your friends who are also fighting in the trenches of working life, and share with you theatre, wine and kick-ass Victorian heroines in your time off.
Your friend who took you to Helsinki and the best tea place in Tallinn, even though you completely fucked up the accommodation booking and there was only one real bed.
Your friend who is a poet and a rebel, mystic soul.
Your friend who let you drag her to Rosslyn Castle on a bumpy, shuddery bus in the rain.
Your friend who is your neighbour soon, and your friend who already is.
Your friends you get to go to New York to see and who lend you boots and give you malaria pills advice on a muddy walk.
Your friend who knows exactly what period dramas you like and still has time to text about Mr Darcy even with a newborn.
Your friends who come back for a party they think they've missed and still send you lawnmower jokes.
All the new, new friends you've met this year: thank you for being so welcoming, honest and warm.
Photo from Orlando and the Fountain (Luke Edward Hall), in this very calming post. Writing this makes me realise how north European I am if pictures of rainy, damp air and muted light make me happy, (see exhibit B) and also reminds me of Robert Elwall, whose photos of country life were so evocative it was said he always managed to capture the feel of 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon in April. I might have to feature some of them here as the autumn draws in.
Anyway, I chose this shot not just for the comforting light in it but also because I'm looking forward to birthday tea with friends today. The cake is ready.
Carney looked around with satisfaction. Everything possible had been done to give the house party an auspicious start.
The house was immaculate and Carney's bedroom was as fresh as the sweet peas in the dressing table. Isobel's rack in the bathroom was a snowy drift of towels. Olga had polished the silver. She had roasted a ham and baked a pot of beans; she had made a moulded salad, two kinds of cookies and a cake….
The perfect start to a summer party, in Carney's House Party by Maud Hart Lovelace.
Part of the reason Lovelace's writing is so evocative of hot summer days and home comforts is that her books are based on her own childhood and adolescence:
The boys were scrubbed so their cheeks shone. Mrs Sibley had put on a fresh silk waist. Carney was proud, too, of her father, not only because he was so well groomed and handsome but because he talked so well. He had read the new novel, Queed, which Isobel had been reading on the train…