text:
Disappear. Destroy.
Sometimes I want to run away. In the middle of the night. Under the cloak of darkness. Because sometimes it hurts too much. It hurts too much and I want so desperately to reach out and tell someone but I think only of how much of a burden I have been in my life and how little I want to continue being a burden. Most often I don't even see what's going on until it's too late and I…I hurt myself…in one form or fashion, in the end. My mind moves at the speed of light and my anxiety and depression shoulder devils, whisper sweet nothings into my ears that befuddle my already confusing thoughts.
The worst part is that I should know how to do this by now. I should know how to calm myself down at 3:45 a.m. when I wake up crying with a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me curl up into a ball for fear my insides will tear open from the pain that may or may not even exist inside me. I should be able to dispel these thoughts and feelings and the raw, nagging insistence that I will never amount to anything because I have nothing to show for my life thus far and probably never will. I should. Should, should, should. There are a lot of things I should do and people will tell me to "just do them." People will tell me that my thoughts are silly and I should just get over them. And I will. I promise. I always do. But now, right now, I don't feel that way. I KNOW I will get past this, but I don't FEEL like I will. Even that is exhausting – battling with yourself over what you know versus what you feel. Especially when what you think you know isn't always right.
My thoughts are filled with lies but I'm not always sure what is a lie and what is a truth. I tell myself lies all the time: you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not witty enough, you're not funny enough, you're not enough. A freight train rumbles through my brain, clattering around, billowing out steam, ripping through sanity and rationality, leaving behind chaos and destruction, getting louder and louder as the thoughts become worse and worse until……silence. Nothing. No more noise, no more anything. A void so vast and incomprehensible suddenly appears blanketed with dark, glistening, beautiful lies. So beautiful and enticing that the darkness almost becomes comforting. I enshroud myself in words that are not true. Hiding behind the lies that comfort me. But they don't really feel like lies. They feel like truths. And maybe, deep down, on a good day, I KNOW they are lies; I just have trouble sifting through those to get through to what is true.
I'm old enough now, I should have this figured out. I shouldn't have to talk about it anymore. I should be better. Until then, I'll be just fine. F.I.N.E.
Also, I'm going to go stand outside. Where I will be outstanding. Because that joke is stupid and makes me laugh and feel a twinge better.
May your day start with stupid jokes, be filled with unexpected surprises, and end with tacos. All the tacos. Happy Tuesday, ya'll.
On Mother Nature, Tacos, and being a great "angry New Yorker"
If you aren't female, you probably shouldn't read this.
Turn back now.
This is a bad idea.
Just stop.
But if you ARE female and have had those special talks with Mother Nature that delve into your finest and most well kept insults, slurs, and vituperations full of vibrant language only a sailor could be proud of, then please do continue and unite in a universal detestation of that loathsome bitch we love to hate.
If you are like a good portion of the population out there you have both met and gotten very friendly and comfortable with birth control. That lovely little pill that makes it okay to hate condoms! And when I say tiny, I am NOT exaggerating. I mean, really! We get it, birth control is frowned upon and we don't want the world knowing we are sexually active – modesty, and all that jazz – but why do you have to make it so easy to lose? What is the thinking behind that?…Oh, so you wanna GO AGAINST THE WISHES OF THE ALL POWERFUL BEING?? Fine. But don't expect it to be easy. You whore!
So you take this teeny, tiny, super pill that gives you the ability to alter your body into a state of confusion so great that it thinks it is with child and treats you extra special because, well, there are myriad reasons why a person might treat you special!…don't make me spell them all out for you. But eventually the reason we all end up continuing to take it is because we know it will save us from anything untoward happening. However, untowardness aside, an attention whore is still a whore, girls. You don't need that extra special treatment from your BC to know you are loved! I want all of you to get up right now, stand in front of a mirror, and hug yourself. Go, my little minions.
…did you do it? No?!? Yeah, me neither. But it's the thought that counts. *air high five* You go girl! You THOUGHT about it! Anyway, back to BC – For many years you are accustomed to keeping a close eye on the time lest you have to excuse yourself to swallow the microscopic super power, and you don't ever go anywhere without it because you and your BC must be one. Without it, well…you, boy, and baby could make three, and what an impressive quantitative equation for only one night. One plus one equals…what? THREE??? What madness is this?? Oh, that's right. It is the law according to THE ALL POWERFUL BEING. Remember kids, you can only control so much and nothing is 100%. But you keep taking it and relying on it and…not having any real clue what it is doing to your body. Until that fateful day when you forget to take it for three days in a row, which brings me to my situation. Suddenly, and rather unexpectedly, my breast began to throb with pain, swell, and form a lovely lump resulting in my paying 600 dollars in doctors bills to find out that it is "hormones." Fuck. That. Threw those left over bitches in the trashcan and have been BC-less for almost two months now. You know what? It doesn't suck as bad as I thought it might. Yes, my back does hurt significantly more (the easing of the back pain is why I originally began taking it in High School when I was so sexually inactive that I would have made a great abstinence billboard) but that seems to be the only downside. Except for the raging bitch epidemic. But I'll get to that later.
This all brings me to my Jesus talk with Mother Nature and it went a little something like this:
MN: Okay, I know I make life a living hell for you for a week, and I'd like to make it up to you.
Me: Fuck you. I don't trust you.
MN: I understand. I haven't been kind to you in your life. And I feel genuinely bad about that.
Me: Damnit! I left my wellies at home. Would you mind cutting back on the bullshit?
MN: I know you have lost your appetite and your sex drive – two things you have always been proud of – and I would like to help you get them back.
Me: Make your point, you bitch.
MN: That's my point. I'm going to give them back to you once every month.
Me: Oh. My. God.
MN: Now instead of having something to dread all week, you will have something to look forward to!
Me: Please tell me that you're fucking with me.
MN: Is that your way of saying "thank you?"
Me: YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ME A SEX DRIVE FOR THE ONE WEEK DURING THE MONTH THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE ONE?!?
Me: AND!! …And! You are going to let me eat during the one week that I feel the most disgusting and don't want to want to eat?
Me: This is you being nice?
It never ends well when we get together but we have yet to completely cut ties. I suppose that means I actually love her….whatever. This conversation took place not long before my birthday rolled around and people started asking me what I wanted to for birthday dinner. Food? At a time like this? Who did they think I was?? Oh, I know!! ME! That's who they thought I was!! The person who can eat an entire pizza by herself and follow it up with ice cream and salt infested potatoes. Exactly how was I to explain to everyone that I could no longer be at the top of the eating contest list? That I physically could not eat? The answer is, I couldn't. Nobody wanted to believe me because, well, watching a "skinny" girl eat is apparently always a treat. People. Keep. Feeding. Me. It may seem as though I am complaining, but how can a monetarily challenged person refuse free food? You can't. You just can't. So, here my friends think I still have my normal appetite and I begin to accidentally horde food at work. Sometimes I go to work with a practically empty lunchbox and come home with some food. It's awesome.
On one particular day a coworker brought me three tacos which I promptly put in my lunchbox, fantasizing about the lovely taco dinner I would be having when I got home. Unfortunately, when I got home, my stomach was not as excited about the tacos as I was and I was only able to enjoy a few bites before my stomach protested. But I wanted that damn taco so I made him shut up until I was finished. My stomach can be so dramatic! So, into the fridge the two leftover tacos, conveniently packaged to cover my next two meals…damn you stomach. Later that night, while dead asleep, I was awoken by a rustle. A paper rustle. A paper rustle that sounded suspiciously like a taco wrapper. I yelled out at roommate, "are you eating my taco?!?" The look on that mans face when he came in eating my taco…priceless. It was three in the morning, I woke from a dead sleep, and proceeded to yell at poor roomie. It was like watching a puppy back into a corner – this was only the beginning of the raging bitch I mentioned earlier. With little to no provocation, I was making men quiver. Thanks Mother Nature, you know how to make a girl feel super awesome *thumbs up!* Soon I was capable of making every living creature I encountered fully grasp why I was so vehement about my ability to emulate the stereotypical "angry New Yorker" when I witnessed an injustice being done to someone I felt protective over. No longer did I need any kind of provocation to yell out a string of perfectly placed obscenities mixed in with some semblance of a sentence mostly hidden by the insult baring its ugly teeth. All I needed was a little oxygen. Apparently.
If you made it through all that, I applaud you. It felt very meander-y. Because I wander. Anywho…
May your days be filled with tacos that aren't eaten, cathartic conversations with imaginary beings, and lots of serotonin to fill the gaps.
Step #3 – Love is so close you can almost feel it!
Two fail dates and several conversations with POF "matches" later we come to fail date number three which is sadly not as interesting but probably the fail-y-est of fails. He, as a person, I'm sure, is a very fine specimen of male…just not the specimen for me.
Fail Date Guy #3
To begin with I knew he wasn't my type based on his pictures but, as I said in Step #1, I was trying to be more open minded and had not yet learned from my mistake in Step #1 so I wasn't listening to the little voice in my head that kept erupting into paroxysms of laughter over my complete lack of dating competence. Want to know the only reason I even answered his message on POF? Because he was tall. I swear. That was the only reason. Clearly this was doomed from the beginning. I didn't find him attractive, didn't particularly like the conversations we had, and it took him a good three weeks to finally ask if I wanted to meet up. Usually I get so fed up with carrying on in long conversations that I suggest meeting up after only a few exchanged messages; but for some reason, with him, I let it slide. Okay, really! Barely a paragraph into this and I already realize this was all my fault. Poor guy…never stood a chance. As Mr. Perfect pointed out to me in a recent discussion I am the bitch, the men are all fine. I couldn't deny that one, I knew it was the truth, but these still make for interesting reads. And, honestly, who does that? And by "that" I mean the things I pick out to share with you lucky readers! Please, comment with corrections if I'm wrong, but what these guys do isn't kosher, is it? (If you haven't read Step #1 and Step #2 yet, please do and let me know because I am genuinely curious. Am I just asking too much? Is this in fact normal male behavior?)
So, three weeks and an uncomfortable amount of superficial conversation later, we have a date set up that we both agree will be very short. He didn't explain why he wouldn't stay long but I knew I didn't want it to go on for very long because of fail dates #1 and #2 – subtlety is not my strong suit and the longer I am around someone that I dislike the more difficult it becomes to hold on to the few tiny shreds of restraint I have remaining. I become blunt with unfiltered speech which translates into being a royal, haughty bitch. It's actually quite impressive if you are used to my usual bubbly, affable self. I can switch bitch mode on and off quickly, it's a gift!
As soon as I got off work I headed to the meeting place that I had to come up with since, apparently, POF men are incapable of making decisions. There I sat, alone at the bar, hoping that the hour I had to wait for him to get off work would pass swiftly and painlessly. The bar began to fill up and soon I was not sitting alone and happy, I was instead flanked by one foul smelling gentleman and one obnoxious frat-tastic bachelor suffering a mid-life crisis. Where before I had been content texting my soulmate and joking about how odd it must look for someone to be sitting alone and talking/laughing to themselves, I was now dealing with attempting to not overhear the crude comments coming from Mr. Mid-Life Crisis and practicing breathing through my mouth so I would be able to finish my beer without gagging off the stench emanating from the foul smelling gentleman.
Not soon enough my date informed me that he was finally off work and headed my way but asked how the bar was…how was the bar? Well…how to put it? I believe I responded with something like, "it was good when I got here but it is getting crowded. I am no longer sitting alone!" Being the gentleman that he was he suggested switching venues and asked if I had any suggestions. Sure. Why not? Let me make another decision for you, dear sir.
I hadn't planned on taking him to my bar knowing all that would occur was judgment from my friends but I was already fed up with him so I gave my suggestion. He agreed quickly enough but confessed he didn't know where it was (even though he had already mentioned that he worked down the street from it…meaning he passed it every day) so he would still meet me where I was and then he would follow me to the final destination. (<– get it?!? okay, okay, I know. I'm a dork.)
As I continue to sit at the bar I shift my gaze between the bartender whose attention I am desperately attempting to capture and the door whose opening and closing could potentially mean time for a great escape from my none too pleasant neighbors. Twenty minutes later my tab is paid, my glass is empty, and I no longer care who is walking through the door because all I want to know is how it is taking him so long if he was actually where he said he was. And then my phone buzzes. It's him. He is sitting in the parking lot waiting for me to come out.
What. The. Fuck?
The minute I open the door I see him in his champagne compact, idling across the way, staring at his phone. Feeling a tad creepy I walk up to his window and cough to get his attention. After pointing out my car and once again establishing that he would follow me, we make our exit. Unfortunately it was prime traffic time and what should have take five minutes took twenty and I had lost all patience by the time parking was completed.
Upon finally picking out a booth and ordering our drinks I was able to fully observe (and, if I am being COMPLETELY honest, judge) my newest suitor. There was unfortunately nothing I found attractive about him. Generally beards give me a little happy feeling in my nether regions but this one was attached to a face that I couldn't even invent any good will towards. He reminded of my moms best friend's husband growing up. This is not good. Not good at all. You don't want someone that reminds you of the father of your first ever crush (I was young and he was older and basically the only male I knew since I was home schooled and spend 90% of my time in the gym practicing gymnastics…it's awkward, I know) in almost every way including the way his lips slowly moved across his disturbingly large teeth as he smiled. Or smirked. I honestly couldn't distinguish.
I can't say that the conversation was in any way lacking but what was lacking was his ability to show emotion. He had one face and he kept it on practically the whole time. The only effect alcohol had on him was to make his mouth open just a tad bit wider when he spoke as if the more he opened his mouth the funnier he would be because he seemed amused by himself when this would happen. Somehow we made it so far in conversation that my Elf showed up to work and we ended up moving from the booth to the patio bar where she was working. At this point his charm really began to work its magic. You know that line that every bartender has heard more than once on a daily basis. The one that makes everyone around the offending person it groan? The one that goes a little something like, "you don't need a tip! You get to look at me!" The look Elf and I shared could have turned him to stone had we made better use of it.
And then, after his knee slapper he throws his head back and lets out a high pitched cackle which I think was supposed to be a laugh but it was so disturbing that I immediately attempted to eliminate all memory of it. Clearly it didn't work. I will never forget the sound that man made. I fear for my personal and physical safety. THIS is my dating life…
When I just couldn't take any more, and we each had three shots and shared chips and queso, I decided to end the date. And then this happened: I was given the honor of paying for everything that we had consumed both liquid and solid at the patio bar. I am one lucky girl. Can I tell you how much I enjoy paying for things that other people ordered for me? It tickles my fancy! Also, I wanted to kill him. Once again though, as with Fail dates #1 and #2, he did not get the hint. He texted me on the way home and said he had a great time and would love to do it again. I responded with, "I don't really think so. Sorry." And that was the night I decided I was done with dating. Period! Over it!
Until the next guy that came up to me at the bar *coughcough* I keep my word so well…
So, where does this leave us?
Step 3: When you feel absolutely no connection to the person and you can't for the life of you pick out one redeeming quality about the person after an hour, go home. Don't waste either one of your time. Quit while you're ahead and admit defeat. It is much better than spending $60 dollars at the end of the night on a person who makes a pretty good doppelganger for every corporate America clone in existence. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you don't like a person.
Now that I have proved that dating is not my cup of tea I think cutting my losses would be a good idea. That is until I meet this next guy that will bring me to fail date #4. He is the best one yet. Mr. Perfect LOVED this guy!! It was a mutual attraction.
May your week be filled with blasphemous actions, sanguine expectations, and lost inhibitions.
On officially being closer to 30 than I am to 20 and other fun things brought to you from Saraville
On the day of that marked the 26 anniversary of my birth, I sat in my leopard hoodie footie and spent the day listening to the rain, reading, making pizza, eating cupcakes, and feeling no closer to being an adult that I did on the day I turned 18. Earlier in the week my friends asked how I would be celebrating I would simply laugh, and smile. Nothing. I would be doing nothing for my birthday. "But why?!?" They chorused loudly, unable to understand my protestations of small fetes or intimate dinners. The truth is, that for the first time, I just didn't feel like admitting that I was another year older. So what did I end up doing? Shopping with my sister and pizza making with my family. And you know what? It has been a pretty darn great birthday. I got three new pairs of shoes, several comic books, a book on etymology, two linguistic books (my latest and greatest interest), a very large novel, and a visit to Build-A-Bear that enabled me to add one more My Little Pony to my collection. I may now be 26 but my taste still lies with that of an 8 year old – that now makes three My Little Ponies (in stuffed animal form, at least) and god knows how many comic books.
Admitting my age is not fun anymore but I must admit that the year leading up to this birthday has been filled with purpose and drive. No longer do I sit around wondering what I will do with my life, instead I have been taking steps towards fulfilling my life goals and actually crossing items off that nice long task list I have. It only took me eight long years to come up with my life goals and, honestly, they have changed one or two thousand times but I finally think I have landed on some solid goals that actually go along with everything that I stand for and want to accomplish. My first major step towards achieving these goals was deciding on a major and enrolling in school again. Check and check. I will officially be starting school again on the 25th with a major in Green Interior and Architectural Design and will be talking to a different school about enrolling in a program that will allow me to study business with an emphasis in innovation and entrepreneurial studies. Focusing on just one thing is just not my style…I thought about only one major but that lasted about as long as it took for me to register for classes.
In my productive state of school applying and class registering I decided I should add even more fun learning activities to my life because surely I had time to, say, learn a new language! But where would I find this time? I asked myself after a few days of NOT doing anything nearly as productive as I had so made myself believe I was capable of. Where did the time go? What did I spend my days doing? How do people get so much done?!? I decided it was time to take account of what I did during my days and document exactly what consumed my oh-so-precious time. Facebook. That's what. Do you ever make not of how many times a day you check your Facebook? Or how many times you want to just look it at it for a few minutes because your phone has alerted you to some form of activity on your page and 20 minutes later you realize that it's, well, 20 minutes later and you are now far too informed on your friends lives inner workings. What's a girl to do? My initial idea was to deactivate my Facebook altogether because who needs it?!? Not me! Or so I thought. Apparently my friends and, more importantly, my sister, disagree. What's the next best thing? Removing the app from my phone. Have I done this yet? No. Instead I have switched from checking Facebook when I'm bored to checking my email and actually reading the information contained in the numerous newsletters I convinced myself contained information I would be interested in but never actually took the time to peruse. Guess what? I am interested in the information I have been ignoring for all these years. For a person so thirsty for knowledge I sure have been allowing myself to claim ignorance far longer than I anyone should. FOCUS, Sara, focus!! This has become my new mantra, especially while at work. Why?
It's simple, really. To continue my quest for productivity (kind of) I give you…My Current Obsessions!!! They are as follows:
1) Erin Condren – I had been wanting a planner for awhile feeling that if I was able to write down everything that came to mind as it came to mind that I would be much more productive (I'm sorry, this post has a key term). I have had my Erin Condren Life Planner for a week and I have already seen a difference. I know what you're probably thinking, "don't you have a phone?" Yes, yes I do have a phone. And I have often written down random ideas and made many a list. But guess what…there it stays. In my note app. Sitting in wait. Instead I bought THIS beauty and now get to be inspired each and every day by bright, happy colors and inspirational quotes. And what girl doesn't love that?!?
2) Radio Lingua – After thinking I could use the all knowing Google to find a language program based solely in audio lessons I gave up and decided I would take a different approach. Enter – PODCASTS!!!! I have never listened to a podcast in my life so I wasn't really sure if this would be my pot of gold or not. Turns out it was. The first language program I came across was Coffee Break French. Had coffee not been in the name I probably wouldn't have been interested. The best part? You can buy the lessons and get pdf files and videos that correspond with each podcast. All for much, much, cheaper than that certain uber popular yellow boxed language program. They also have OneMinute [insert your desired language here] and it only cost…like…practically nothing!! OMG, I want. My two favorite language options? Flemish and Luxembourgish!!!! That is in addition to my top two desired languages to learn – Arabic and Russian. You can buy all 21 language courses as a bundle. HAPPENING!!
3) Pee and Poo – If you know me really too incredibly well then you know how oddly fascinated I am with…how do I put this delicately? The inner workings of the human body including the all important BM's. I am oddly connected with my body and always know what I need to put in it to cure whatever ails me at the moment. Except ennui. Nothing seems to help ennui. Except chocolate. But only until it's gone. Anyway. I found Pee and Poo and have wanted them ever since!! How cute are they?!? I mean, I'm already potty trained so I don't need them for their intended purpose, but I do still enjoy a good stuffed animal and to be completely honest I would love to be able to randomly yell, "I need my poo!!" in a moment of anxiety induced panic that results in an immediate desire to be embracing something plush and comforting.
4) The perfect chocolate chip cookie – I have been on the search for the perfect recipe and therefore cookie for years now. Recently I tried the recipe from the Cooks Country baking cookbook and they sucked (just an fyi here, the link doesn't really work since you have to sign up to use their website, but if you happen to be a Cooks Country member then you will be privy to the recipe). They were not ooey gooey like they were supposed to be and they tasted of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. My parents thought they were just fine, but my sister and I are harsher critics. I am thinking of trying the New York Times recipe next. If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to bombard me with recipe links.
5) Naked Truth Beauty Blog – I have always enjoyed making things on my own. I hate the idea of spending money on something I could do or make myself and it just so happens that someone I went to college with started this wonderful blog. Now, instead of scouring the internet looking for the best home made beauty products, I can just reference what she has written!! It is so much nicer when you (kind of) know the person writing the blog. It's so much easier to trust them!!
Tune in next time to find out what else has been occupying my time and, probably, learn how my first week back in class has been! You're hooked already, aren't you?
Project Me Days 1 and 2 – Baby Steps
1200 calories and 90 grams of protein. That is my goal each day. When I was told this I laughed…1200 calories? Good luck! I obstinately decided it was impossible and avoided using the food tracking app, MyFitnessPal, that we were all told to use so we could tell us just how well we were or were not doing. That was for the first day at least. This morning I decided I might as well try it. What could it hurt? Right? Turns out I don't even have to change how I eat and I am still under 1200 calories. Clearly it is the alcohol and pizza that has been my downfall. Guess who gets to be designated driver from now on!! This girl! Guess whose bank account will be appreciative! Silver lining and all that.
But that is the boring part. At least it is to me because I have been a pretty clean eater for some years now and actually like fruits and veggies and lean meat. (SPINACH IS MY LIFE!!) The super fun part of all of this so far has been keeping my morale up. Super. Fun. You see, we are supposed to start a fitness regime to go alone with our clean and healthy eating and yesterday was not easy. Around seven o'clock I had a complete breakdown and found myself in the fetal position on my bed, crying because I felt like I couldn't do it. I have been able to motivate myself before but in that moment I just felt completely defeated by…well…myself.
"No matter how hard you work it won't make any difference. You will fail." I said.
The little voice in my head replied with, "If you don't try you definitely will fail."
"So why even try?"
"Because you can do it. It will make a difference. You've done it before."
And slowly, after over an hour of fighting with the voice in my head, I decided that I might as well get my ass off the bed, put on my old running clothes and try this whole fitness thing again. After all, I thought, exercise releases endorphins and that couldn't be a bad thing when I was feeling particularly low and depressed. So, on went my running shoes, in went my ear buds, and to the park I ran.
Even several years ago when I was running (mostly walking) every day it took me months to build up the stamina to run more than a minute. I think I got up to 12 minutes (not on a treadmill – I got up to an hour on that bitch but being indoors is not my thing so I tended to stick with the sidewalk; it is much cheaper than a gym membership, after all!) at one point but it only took a few months of not running to completely lose all my stamina and start from square one. Talk about defeating!
Given that, I knew I wouldn't be able to run for very long at all and instead decided on a brisk walk to warm up and then running until I couldn't breath, walking until I could again, and then running again. I figured it was better than nothing, right? But no sooner had I reached the park then I realized that my left hip, the hip that I believe has a labral tear in it but I am too stubborn to see a doctor about, was beginning to protest. "Sara…you ass," it intoned over and over. I knew this would happen, though. Walking causes pain on a good day so running would be no better. But, me being me, I retorted with, "If I can survive a broken foot without even knowing about it, then I can survive this." We had a good laugh and continued on our journey with the help of Mickey Avalon in our ears. Because listening to a white guy rap about sex, drugs, and alcohol is surprisingly motivating. Don't knock it till you've tried it!
Once I headed into the park and crossed the creeks bridge I thought I was possibly pushing myself too hard because I started to see lights. Lots of them. And every time I would try to look at them they would disappear. I stopped running and took some deep breaths before realizing how much of an idiot I was. Lightning bugs. They were lightning bugs, folks. It took a lot of strength not to go chasing after them – I'm the person who considers chasing after a squirrel…while driving. Why? BECAUSE THEY'RE SO CUTE!! This one time I almost hopped a curb accidentally trying to follow two that were chasing each other. You should hear what happens when I see a butterfly! Moving on…
As I exited the park and headed home I decided to stare at my feet and therefore accidentally ran straight through a swarm of gnats and swallowed a mouthful (can I add those to my protein count?) as a sign that distractions were not a good thing while running. Head high, Sara. Head high. And so I continued, for forty minutes I switched between jogging and walking through my neighborhood and it felt good. I even scared a guy into crossing the street when he saw me. Me with my neon orange running shoes, electric blue jacket, and black cap. I'm hood like that. Holla!
The best part about running my first day? I only tripped once! About a block from home. I call that winning!! And since day one was such a success I decided to up the ante and actually start my training for the 5k I am supposed to be doing in September. Oh the wonder of apps these days!! Turns out the first day of training involves intervals of 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds of walking. I totally knew that. That's why I did it the first day. Yep. Like a boss!
Stay tuned for more wonderful tales of the adventures of focusing on yourself for a change! Also, in case you were wondering, the voice in my head and I are currently not speaking. I hate being wrong. I hate it even more when I also happen to be right at the same time. As if life isn't confusing enough…


text:
Daniel Myers Ltd
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36 months warranty, Four wheel-drive, Metallic MYTHOS BLACK, NEW UK SUPPLIED THE STUNNING S8 PLUS 605ps COMPLETE WITH BLACK PERFORATED VALCONA LEATHER, PARKING SYSTEM PLUS with PARK ASISST, FRONT VENTILATED MASSAGE SEATS, PRIVACY GLASS, HEATED FRONT and REAR OUTER SEATS, TWIN PANE UV HEATED INSULATED WINDSCREEN, Standard Equipment Includes, Overboost Function, Sports Exhaust in Black High Gloss, High Gloss Black Styling Package, Power Door Closure, Black Alcantara Package, Extended Leather Package, Matrix LED Headlight with LED Rear Lights, HDD Satellite Navigation System, 2x SD Card Readers, 60GB Hard Drive, Advanced Speech Recognition, Audi Parking System Advanced with Top View, Automatic Start - Stop Function, Climate Control with Sun Sensor, DAB Radio, Heated Front Seats, 21in 5 - Double Spoke Black Alloy Wheels, 6 CD/DVD Changer Located in Glovebox, BOSE Surround Sound System, AM/FM Tuner, MP3 Compatible Front-Loading CD/DVD Player, MMI Touch, Drivers Information System (DIS) with 7in Display, Electric Front Seats with Memory (22 - Way Adjustable), Electric Windows - Front and Rear, Mobile Telephone Preparation-High w. Audi Connect, Perforated Valcona Leather w. Comfort Sports Seats, Privacy Glass, Rain Sensor, Thatcham Category 1 Alarm, Tyre Pressure Loss Indicator, COMPLETE WITH 3 YEARS MANUFACTURERS WARRANTY, ALL FUNDING OPTIONS AVAILABLE, PART EXCHANGE AVAILABLE, PLEASE CONTACT US FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, Contact 07711 747699 or 0113 2668314, Email email@example.com, Web www.danielmyersltd.co.uk, £89,975 inc VAT
- 201702272740865
- 2017
- 17
- £89,975
- 8998
- 10
- Cars
- hDHJRHinCEY=
Vehicle summary
|Body style
|Engine size
|3993 cc
|Fuel type
|Number of doors
|Number of seats
|Gearbox type
|CO2 emissions
|231 g/km
|Insurance group
|Standard manufacturer's warranty (miles)
|60000 miles
|Standard manufacturer's warranty (years)
|3 years
|Standard paintwork guarantee
|3 years
Performance & economy
|Fuel consumption (urban)
|20.6 mpg
|Fuel consumption (extra urban)
|35.8 mpg
|Fuel consumption (combined)
|28.2 mpg
|0 - 60 mph
|3.8 seconds
|Top speed
|155 mph
|Engine power
|597 bhp
|Engine torque
|553.20 lbs/ft
|1458 mm
|Height inclusive of roof rails
|No details available
|5147 mm
|2994 mm
|2111 mm
|Width including mirrors
|No details available
|Fuel tank capacity
|82 litres
|Minimum kerb weight
|1990 kg
|Interior features
|Exterior features
|Colour Drivers Information System (DIS) with 7in Display
|Automatic Start - Stop Function
|12V Power Socket Rear
|Rear Boot Lid Spoiler in Body Colour
|Lower Inlays - Brushed Aluminium, Silver
|Space Saver Spare Wheel
|Auto - Dimming Rear View Mirror
|Headlight Washers
|Perforated Valcona Leather w. Comfort Sports Seats
|Windscreen Washer Jets, Heated
|8in Colour TFT Display
|21in x 9J 5 - Double Spoke Black Alloy Wheels with 275/35 ZR21 Tyres and Locking Wheel Bolts
|Advanced Speech Recognition
|Door Mirrors - Electrically Adjustable, Folding, Heated and Auto-Dimming with Memory
|Satellite Navigation System - HDD - Based, 2x SD Card Readers, 60GB Hard Drive
|Power Operated Boot Lid
|3-Sp. Lth. Multi-Fun. Steer. Wheel/Gear Shift Pad.
|Mobile Telephone Preparation-High w. Audi Connect
|Climate Control with Sun Sensor
|Dynamic Steering
|Rain Sensor
|Electric Front Seats with Memory (22 - Way Adjustable)
|Heated Rear Screen
|Front and Rear Floor Mats
|Privacy Glass from B-Pillar
|Heated Front Seats
|Audi Music Interface - USB Connection
|Analogue Clock in Lower Inlay
|Pneumatic Lumbar Support
|Electric Windows - Front and Rear
|Advanced Key w. Audi Handsfree Boot Opening System
|Electrically Adjustable Steering Column with Memory and Adjustment for Height and Reach with Auto Easy - Entry - and - Exit Function
|Audi Sound System, AM/FM Tuner, MP3 Compatible Front-Loading CD/DVD Player, MMI Touch
|DAB Digital Radio Reception
|Electric Sunblinds - Rear Window/Rear Door Windows
|Front Sun Visors with Illuminated Vanity Mirrors
|2 Drink Holders in Rear Centre Armrest
|Adaptive Cruise Control/Stop&Go/Pre-Sense Front
|6 CD/DVD Changer Located in Glovebox
|Sun Band for Windscreen
|Comfort Front Centre Armrest and Rear Armrest
|Drivers Airbag
|ISOFIX Child Seat Mounting - for Front Passenger and Outer Rear Seats
|Third Brake Light
|Front Passengers Airbag with Deactivation
|Quattro with Sports Differential
|Electromechanical Power Steering
|Electronic Stability Programme (ESP)
|Audi Parking System Advanced with Top View
|Electromechanical Parking Brake
|Anti Lock Brake System (ABS)
|Audi Matrix LED Headlights
|Centre Rear Seat Belt
|Power Door Closure
|Sideguard Head Airbag System
|High Beam Assist
|Head Restraints - Front and Rear
|Tyre Pressure Loss Indicator
|Electronic Differential Lock (EDL)
|Light Sensor
|Thatcham Category 1 Alarm
Please note
This includes MPG figures which are calculated under European Standards, in test conditions, and will vary under normal driving conditions. The information displayed above describes the typical specification of the most recent model of this vehicle. It is not the exact specification for the actual vehicle being offered for sale which may vary. Specifications for older models may also vary. Please contact us prior to purchase to confirm the exact specification of this vehicle.
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subset: commoncrawl


text:
Note : Your Quotation Request will be directed to Anatech Electronics.
The AM1600B1060 from Anatech Electronics is a Band Pass Filter with Frequency 1.58 to 1.62 GHz, Bandwidth 44 MHz, Center Frequency 1600 MHz, Insertion Loss 4.5 dB, Upper Rejection 40 dB 1645 MHz. Tags: Ceramic Filter. More details for AM1600B1060 can be seen below.
You can now find similar products from multiple companies on everything RF.


text:
The Gazette August 4, 1897 The two year old child of Mr. T. G. Williams, living near Choudrant, while drinking hot coffee, scalded its mouth so badly that it died from the effects of the burn.
Mrs. Mary Jane Wininger
The Gazette August 19, 1896 On Saturday, August 1st, 1896, Mrs. Mary Jane Wininger, departed this life to be forever with the Lord. Mrs. Wininger, whose maiden name was Mary Jane Tubb, was born January 5th, 1827. Age 69 years, 7 months and 27 days. At the time of her death her home was near … Continue reading Mrs. Mary Jane Wininger
Last Rites for George W. Ward
Wednesday, December 7, 1938 Funeral services for George W. Ward, 51, who died at his home here Tuesday morning at 4:40 o'clock, will be held this afternoon at 2:00 o'clock at the local Baptist church, conducted by Rev C. W. Holmes, pastor of the Baptist church of Overton, Texas, where Mr. Ward resided part of … Continue reading Last Rites for George W. Ward
Wanda Lou Wales
Funeral services for Wanda Lou Wales, 75, of Farmerville will be held at 12:00 pm on Wednesday, January 11, 2017 at Arkansas State Veteran's Cemetery in North Little Rock, Ar. with Bro. Buel Lewallen officiating. Burial will be in the Arkansas State Veteran's Cemetery in North Little Rock, Arkansas under the direction of Farrar Funeral … Continue reading Wanda Lou Wales
Stephanie Ann Weikal
Stephanie Ann Weikal entered into eternal rest on January 8, 2017 in Bernice, Louisiana. She was born in Sharon, PA on November 6, 1951. Stephanie was the daughter of Paul Botos and Frances Franek Botos of Hermitage. Stephanie married Marvin Weikal on June 8, 1974. She graduated from Kennedy Christian High School in 1969; from … Continue reading Stephanie Ann Weikal
Alexis "Lexi" Lenea Weakley
Funeral services for Alexis "Lexi" Lenea Weakley, 17, of Farmerville will be held at 2:00 pm Friday, Dec. 9, 2016 at Farmerville Assembly of God with Bro. Robbie Lawson officiating. Burial will be in Shady Grove Cemetery near Farmerville under the direction of Farrar Funeral Home. Lexi passed from this earth to her heavenly home … Continue reading Alexis "Lexi" Lenea Weakley
Willie "Pap" Wilson
Funeral Services for Willie Henry "Pap" Wilson will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday November 12, 2016, at the Lane Chapel Baptist Church in Downsville, with the Rev. Gary Williams and the Rev. Julius Hill officiating. Interment will follow in the church cemetery. Visitation will be held from 2-6 p.m. on Friday November 11, 2016, in the chapel … Continue reading Willie "Pap" Wilson
Lorine Williams
Funeral services for Lorine Williams (89) will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday October 22, 2016, at Lane Chapel Baptist Church in Downsville with the Rev. Gary Williams and the Rev. Julius Hill officiating. Burial will follow at the Lane Chapel Baptist Church Cemetery. Visitation will be held from 3-7 p.m. on Friday October 21, 2016, in the … Continue reading Lorine Williams
James Franklin Williams
Funeral services for James Franklin Williams, 57, will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday August 20, 2016, at First Baptist Church in Farmerville with the Rev. Gary Williams officiating. Interment will Immediately follow at the Lane Chapel Cemetery in Downsville. Visitation is scheduled from 2-6 p.m. on Friday, August 19, 2016 in the chapel at Memorial Funeral Home in … Continue reading James Franklin Williams
Deacon Jumelle Warren
Funeral Services for Deacon Jumelle Warren, 85, will be held at 11 a.m. on August 12, 2016, at Blooming Grove Missionary Baptist Church in Farmerville, with the Rev. Lester Sims officiating. Interment will follow at the City Cemetery in Farmerville. Visitation will be held from 2- 5p.m. on August 11, 2016, in the chapel of Memorial Funeral Home of … Continue reading Deacon Jumelle Warren
Erly Westbrook
Funeral services for Erly Westbrook, 34, of Bernice (formerly of the Philippines) will be held at 11:00 am Friday, May 20, 2016 at Farrar Funeral Home in Farmerville with Bro. Harvey Hoffman officiating. Burial will be at 2:00 pm in Chatham Cemetery in Chatham under the direction of Farrar Funeral Home in Farmerville. There will … Continue reading Erly Westbrook
Leona Leonard Washam
Leona Leonard Washam of Monroe, known as Leah her entire life, was born December 22, 1957, to Evelyn and A.C. Washam and left this life to be with her Lord on April 2, 2016. She is survived by her mother, Evelyn Brantley Washam, of Farmerville, Louisiana; children Lily Claire Washam-Coggins and fiancé Jason Wedding, of … Continue reading Leona Leonard Washam
Kathleen Parks Ward
Funeral services for Kathleen Parks Ward, 92, of Sterlington, will be held at 11:00 am, Wednesday, March 2, 2016 at Farrar Funeral Home Chapel with Bro. Kurt Auger and Bro. Ronnie Parks officiating. There will be no procession to the cemetery following the service. A private burial will be under the direction of Farrar Funeral … Continue reading Kathleen Parks Ward
Brenda Warren
Funeral services for Brenda Warren, 57, will be held at 12 p.m. on Thursday December 31, 2015, at the Willie Davis Jr. Recreation Center in Farmerville, under the direction of Memorial Funeral Home. Interment will be in Spring Hill Cemetery. Visitation will be held from 10 a.m. until time of the service at the Recreation Center.
Melba Williams
Funeral Service for Melba Williams, 91, were held at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, December 12, 2015, at Mt. Union Missionary Baptist Church in Marion, Reverend Willie D. Simmons, Pastor. Interment followed at the Mt. Union Cemetery. Visitation was from 2-6 p.m. on Friday December 11, 2015, at the Memorial Funeral Home Chapel in Farmerville.


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Use caution to prevent thefts
Tunica Police Chief Richard Veazey is cautioning local residents not to leave valuables in their vehicles, in the wake of two recent incidents.
Veazey said car windows had been broken out and contents stolen twice in the past two weeks, both while cars were parked near the town's walking park.
The Great Outdoors
Construction is proceeding rapidly on the Tunica Museum's outdoor classroom.
Taskforce, Road Department going to work on employment issues
Creating more jobs and keeping employees happy with the ones they have were two of the highlights of the July 2 meeting of the Board of Supervisors.
Chamber of Commerce and Economic Development Foundation President and CEO Lyn Arnold said a taskforce of several local entities has been created to focus on employment in Tunica County. Its mission is to create the best workforce to compete in the global job market.
Lovelady uses hardships as motivation
The biography of former Ole Miss football standout and current Baltimore Raven Michael Oher inspired the world through the book and movie titled The Blind Side.
Now, a former Rosa Fort star with a similar story is hoping to emulate Oher's success and pursue his own dreams of one day making it to the NFL.
"My life was very similar to that (of Oher's). That's my life there, too," explained Derrell Lovelady, who graduated from Rosa Fort High School in 2012. "I've used his story as motivation and I figure if he could do that, I could do that, too."
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The brain is the master overseer of our bodies, governing most of its functions. To remain alive and well, the brain cells need oxygen and nutrients. When they fail to receive enough oxygen and nutrients, these cells begin to die and we lose function in the part of the body governed by the area of the brain that dies.
Our blood carries oxygen to our brains. Two ways account for why the oxygen fails to reach the brain. These are:
- Not enough blood goes to the brain
- The blood is not carrying enough oxygen
Why Does Blood Fail to Reach the Brain
- Heart attack
- Heart rhythm abnormalities
- Drowning
- Drug overdose
- Injuries to the newborn in the perinatal period (the time just before, during, and after birth)
- Stroke
- Extremely low blood pressure
Reasons for Blood Not Carrying Enough Oxygen
- Inhaling smoke such as during a fire
- Carbon monoxide poisoning
- Choking
- Strangulation
- Diseases that interfere with the movement of the muscles that help us breathe
- High altitudes
- Pressure on the trachea or windpipe
Our brain cells are exceptionally sensitive to lack of oxygen. They begin to die in as little as five minutes from the time they are deprived of it.
Lack of oxygen in the brain is a life-threatening situation requiring emergency attention to prevent permanent brain damage, damage to the rest of the body, and death.
The fact that the brain controls most every function in our body makes damage to this vital organ so devastating. Brain damage from lack of oxygen can harm us through all stages of life, from birth to old age.
Lack of Oxygen During Birth
When the newborn brain doesn't receive enough oxygen during the birth process, disastrous results such as cerebral palsy can occur. Five to 10 percent of the cases of cerebral palsy are thought to result from oxygen deprivation. The disorder can also result from injury to the fetal brain.
The effects of cerebral palsy can range from mild to severe. Cerebral palsy is actually a group of disorders that may affect the functions of the brain and nervous system including:
- Movement
- Learning
- Hearing
- Seeing
- Thinking
If your baby was born with cerebral palsy, you may have a legal claim. For more information, contact a cerebral palsy lawyer today.


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text: 04 April 2016 Achieving success at the Engineering Professions Forum Melissa Clark-Reynolds, entrepeneur and company director. 1 2 3 4 Sir Gordon Tietjens, New Zealand's most successful rugby sevens coach. 1 2 3 4 Guests at the Saturday Forum session. 1 2 3 4 Amanda Siqueira GIPENZ discusses what success means in an engineering context. 1 2 3 4 Achieving Success was the theme when IPENZ Members gathered at our annual Engineering Professions Forum last month. The two-day event held at Wellington's Amora Hotel was our opportunity to hear from Members and talk about our plans for the next year. Keynote speakers inspired us with tales of their achievements and career highlights. Melissa Clark-Reynolds, a Director at ACCURO, Radio New Zealand and Software Education talked about her experience and views of the engineering profession and how she's found success as an entrepreneur. She said "every time you take a job, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want. Having had some time to look back over my career, I'm deeply grateful for the jobs I didn't take. You have to stop and think 'is this the best use of my talent at this moment in time?'" Chief Executive of the New Zealand Racing Board John Allen reminded us every instance of failure has the opportunity for learning and progress. He helped us paint a virtual picture of a positive future for New Zealand, with engineers at the heart of it. John said: "For our nation to succeed in this rapidly changing world, engineers will need to be the heroes." He urged us, as engineers, to be involved, know what we stand for and to let the community hear our voice. These are the things, he says, that will help us achieve success. Sir Gordon Tietjens, New Zealand's most successful rugby sevens coach, shared his powerful insights into leadership and team culture and gave the audience a set of tools to use in their own leadership roles. He explained the importance of courageous conversations to his leadership style and how a 360 degree accountability framework helped him achieve success. He encouraged a "keep, stop, start" strategic approach: keeping what's working, stopping what's not, and seeking out new, useful ideas to start to put into practice. The Forum also gave our groups the opportunity to get together. Our Collaborating Technical Societies and Technical Interest Group representatives discussed how to improve communication to their respective groups and talked about ways to work more closely together. The key focus was working more collaboratively through making the best use of tools like social media. Representatives from our regional Branches were joined by our Chief Executive and guest speakers. Roy Sharp DistFIPENZ from the Engineering Heritage Wellington Chapter spoke about how Branches and Engineering Heritage could work more closely together. IPENZ Foundation Trustee Tiina Hall-Turner FIPENZ gave an update on the successes of the Foundation scholarship pilot programme, which is due for review in May. A combined session of the Engenerate Emerging Professionals Council, Student Engineers New Zealand (SENZ) Council and Branch representatives provided a great opportunity to discuss key opportunities, including CPD, marketing and communications, and our Code of Ethics. The SENZ and Engenerate groups also spent time discussing planning, process and policies for the year ahead, as well as taking the chance to meet with engineers working in industry. Our new President Elena Trout FIPENZ set the tone for the year during her Incoming President's address, saying "as President, it's my responsibility to provide strong leadership – not just to the engineering profession but to the whole community." See photos from the Friday and Saturday Forum sessions.


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3:00 am
cheers. i'm jim cramer, and welcome to my world. you need to get in the game. firms are going to go out of business and he's nuts! they're nuts! they know nothing! i always like to say there's a bull market somewhere. "mad money," you can't afford to miss it. hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money," welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends. i have time to teach and coach you. so call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. weren't we supposed to be finished going higher for the year? wasn't the most recent selloff with any end to the hoax? a strong fourth quarter begins monday? was today where the averages roared, dow gaining 72 points.
3:01 am
nasdaq climbing 1.39% the real deal, and the last few days were an aberration. you know how important this question is? every money manager and his brother in this country is trying to figure out which trajectory is phony and which is real. you know how we work on "mad money," we, meaning me. we have a distinctly joanie mitchell approach to the market. we look at stocks from both sides. what i want to do is trace the view from both sides now and then reach a conclusion about the ultimate direction that awaits us. first let me give you the bear case because that is most salient right now, because until this morning, the bear case had suddenly come to fore. there was so much to be negative about. the terrible durable goods
3:02 am
numbers, further reduction in gross domestic product. they all point to further reductions in earnings estimates. as well as what we now regard as a pathetic apple iphone launch. you can see why people would be petrified about the earnings parade. you would like to think this is all an anomaly if you're bullish. and the economy has a little rough patch before it accelerates again. what happens if this is the rough patch that causes companies to slam on the brakes, ahead of what is no longer a fiscal cliff but a fiscal retaining wall. when you consider that the republicans are run by the tea party and democrats don't have to change, we have gone from thinking we can jump the fiscal cliff to thinking how can we slow business spending so that
3:03 am
the collision won't destroy us? it's not just the u.s. that's a drag. china, there's a big hate on china right now. china is big hat. no. big mao cap no cattle. the worst downturn in two months is more representative of what's happening because there is no unity between the rich and poor nations. don't they show that there's no real hope for fiscal reform in that wounded country? today's action, i heard all day it's phony. me and many portfolio managers
3:04 am
buy stocks and move them higher to the end of the quarter to get a little gain there. the conclusion, if this were monday coming up, a new month, a new quarter, you would see this entire markup window dressing period, the deal, and we were right back into that downturn that just began and has much further to go. these are some real heavy negatives that could turn even the most optimistic of the bulls into bears. let's take a look at the bullish side. just when we were starting to be afraid of what's going on in europe despite the rise, offering exactly what the richer countries like germany want to do to hold up their end of the deal. second the chinese market, it rallied hard last night and that could be a sign that we're about
3:05 am
to get more stimulus in everyone's favorite communist country. suffice it to say that today general electric joined the contingent of companies including the former parent company of this network, it's particularly heartening about china, and they raise questions about maybe we are being too gloomy about the country's fortunes. third our fiscal retaining wall still beckons. stocks that are most vulnerable, they rallied hard today, these moves could be a sign that all is not lost. plus we got some high profile number boosts from brokerage
3:06 am
houses this week, from banks and home builders. you know what? you don't get earnings estimate bumps. as far as those managers that want to lock in performance, i think there's far more managers that want to gain performance by buying the weakness. there are money managers that want to lock in gains. we know that the -- do you think that they would be willing to lock in a prospective defeat against the benchmark, when we're not even in the fourth quarter yet? there simply aren't enough winning managers that can afford to lock in a game. this is how apple was able to break its fall. perhaps if you get so many money managers still done on it. and the companies are not accepting any orders for the iphone and are going to have a wait list. i don't know how poorly the launch is actually going. we do know that apple is a stinker. but if it's so bad, why do so many people want the phone? where do i come out?
3:07 am
my take, i think this rally is not predicated on anything in the u.s. in order for this move to continue, we actually need an end game in europe and a stimulus in china. and we need them now. so my bottom line, if we don't get real positives in europe and china, we're not done going down. but if we do get those from those huge trading partners, that will offset the fiscal retaining wall that we may end up hitting. lorraine in my home state of new jersey. >> caller: yes. >> hey, lorraine, what's up? >> i'm calling about econo. is now the time to get in? >> a lot of people are on the fence as to whether natural gas is actually done going down, and i am not concerned about the -- i think the fracking stories are overdone.
3:08 am
a very good statement today talking about it. i think the issue is that you've got to have natural gas go higher. i need to go to justin in indiana. justin. >> caller: boo-yah jim, it's justin. i want to get your thought about these home builders going higher? >> every time a home builder has a dramatic decline they have been buyable. i want to own it. paul in tennessee. paul? >> caller: hey, jim i was just wanting to call and ask you about metro pcs, especially with the most recent rumors about industry consolidation. i was wondering what your thoughts were. >> it has to be sprint to buy them, or t-mobile. i don't think either is going to buy them. you should be trimming positions
3:09 am
on a speculative story that i don't like on the fundamentals and that's how i recommend stocks, is the fundamentals, not rumors. the ball is definitely in china's court, if they come out with positive news, they could go higher, remember, you always have to look at stocks from both sides now. coming up, rapid results? orasure technology a leader in diagnostic tech products. cramer is getting instant answers on this new opportunity in biotech when he talks to the company's ceo next. and rising in the east, the headlines hit, the market rallies, but which u.s. stocks are actually worth owning in china? plus answering the call. telco cloud play 8 by 8 gave us
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a ring and cramer is all ears when the company's ceo gets in the hot seat, all coming up on "mad money." >> don't miss a second of "mad money." follow @jimcramer on twitter. have a question, tweet cramer, hash tag mad tweets. send jim an e-mail at "mad money" @cnbc.com. or give us a call at 1-800-743-cnbc. miss something? head to madmoney.cnbc.com.
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we are always looking for new opportunities here on "mad money." that's why i wanted to introduce you to one of the most intriguing, speculative stories around. it's called orasure technologies. it's a tiny health care outfit that's described by market capital. company makes products for collecting saliva samples and tes tests for diseases like hepatitis c, and hiv as opposed to more invasive blood or urine based tests that people are less likely to take. last year orasure came out with the first hepatitis c test on the market. then we got the real game changer. the beginning of july, the fda approved the over the counter hiv test. it's an hiv test that you can actually buy over the counter. the only one of its kind and
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this one could go a long way towards helping to diagnose the hundreds of thousands of americans who don't know they have the disease. that's why the stock spiked up to $13.36. since then it's pulled back, $10.71. a week after the fda gave the go-ahead, a big secondary offering sold $75 million worth of stock at $12.30. the stock is admittedly quite expensive especially when you consider that orasure isn't expected to turn a profit until 2014. let's check in with doug michaels, he's the president and ceo of orasure technologies. welcome to "mad money." >> thank you, jim. >> so i go to walgreens, i go to cvs next week, what are you going to see?
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>> hopefully you're going to see that product on the shelf. we began shipping to retailers last friday and saturday, obviously the product is in transit between our distribution center and the retailers and they have to get it out into the stores. it's going to be in 30,000 stores as well as available online. >> you've got every detail in there. you talk about how the stores themselves are going to get behind this. i presume therefore i'm going to maybe see a display, we don't know which ones, this will be readily visible, it's not going to be on some aisle where it's going to be tucked away. >> the response from retailers has been extraordinarily positive. the retailers are actually cutting the product in off cycle. normally they reset their stores twice a year and it's going in right now. we're giving retailers a couple weeks to get the product on shelf and then we're going to go out with our communications
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folks and build awareness about the product's availability and promote trial and repeat purchases. >> is that advertising certain web sites? tv? how far are you going to go with this? >> all of the above. we're going to work with the retailers to give on site promotions. we're going to be in new york city, we're going to use celebrity to get on a lot of the different talk shows. >> celebrity people who have hiv? >> we haven't disclosed what celebrities we're going to use, but suffice it to say that they're well known. the first fda approved test that you can take in the comfort and privacy of your home, there's really no excuse why people shouldn't know their hiv status. >> there's a lot of reasons why people might not go to the doctor and request an hiv test. certainly there's still a lot of stigma associated with hiv.
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there's about 1.2 million people infected with hiv here in the united states, jim, and about 20% to 25% of those individuals are unaware that they're infected. and what's most concerning is it's those individuals who are infected but unaware. they're responsible for 50% to 70% of the forward transmission. so our objective is to put as many tools out there as we can to make it easier for people to know their hiv status. >> do you envision a world where someone has unprotected sex, they would go to the drugstore and get this within 72 hours? >> we have spent a lot of time making sure consumers can understand the appropriate use of this product. it's not designed to detect infection immediately after someone is infected. but it's exactly the same technology that's used in doctors offices, hospitals and the public health market. this is the rapid leading hiv test in the united states and now we're making it available to consumers.
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>> our show has been focused on hepatitis c as the biggest opportunity in medicine. you've got a test for it, but you just don't think -- you talk about it as a billion dollar opportunity, but it's not as big for your company as this one. >> we haven't said that. >> all right, good. >> the hepatitis c opportunity is every bit as exciting as this product's availability over the counter. hepatitis c is about five times more prevalent than hiv here in the united states. there's about four to five million people infected with hepatitis c and up to two thirds of those individuals are unaware of their infection. there's a huge reservoir of undetected infection in our age group. >> when i go to my doctor, should i be asking for a hep c test? >> the cdc just recommended that all baby boomers, everybody born between 1945 and 1965 be tested for hepatitis c. there's about 80 million of us.
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>> and that's your product that we'll be using. >> absolutely. it's a 20-minute test, it's highly accurate, it's laboratory accurate and it's out there in the market right now. >> ancestry.com, we had the ceo on, a big tv show. you have got a genetic problem that is an -- >> we acquired a company in canada, and they are the market leader in oral collection systems for molecular diagnostics, ancestry.com makes their products and makes it available to their members so they can get better information about their genealogy. there's another company that provides a consumer service for people who want to know what their genetic profile is and any potential risks. >> i don't want to embarrass you, but you are a total heavy
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hitter. this is not -- it's been around for a while. but mr. michaels spent 19 years at j. and j., you ran ortho clinical diagnostics. so this is a business -- why did you leave? >> those are the two best diagnostics companies in the country. >> i thoroughly enjoyed my experience with abbott and johnson & johnson, two of the finest companies in the world, and i had a great career with those companies. i was approached by the board of directors at orasure technologies and they talked to me about the promise of these technologies, about the opportunities to really make a big impact on public health and i said let's do it. >> i want to thank you, that's doug michaels, president and ceo of orasure technologies. they have got the absolute best
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up to date information from mr. michaels. i want you to do the home work before you take a shot or make a big investment in this company. coming up, rising in the east? the headlines hit, the market rallies, but which u.s. stocks are actually worth owning if china steps on the gas? and later, answering the call. >> if they want to come on the show and tell us why i'm too bearish, i welcome them. >> cramer is all ears when the company's ceo gets in the hot seat, all coming up on "mad money." you know, i was once used for small jobs.
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we keep seeing the same darn headlines. stocks advance because of the hope for chinese stimulus. this headline is recurring and used for any rally. so perhaps it's worth parsing where we are with the chinese stimulus.
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first we always get excited about potential stimulus from china, when we see the chinese stock market roar at the end of the day, like it did last night, with a gain for the most closely followed index of the people's republic. that makes sense when you consider the european stock agency will rebound when the rich countries agree to help the poor ones, stocks can foretell events and often do. however, there have been so many false tells or indications about that totally unreliable and fixed stock market over there. and we shouldn't get too excited about a chinese rally. the land of mao remains in a hideous bear market. it has fallen back to where it was three years ago. rather than get our hopes up, i think we should temper our expectations about when and how large the stimulus will be, while at the same time slicing
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our applications about how bad things really are. the idea that china could still expand at a 5%, 6% clip would be outstanding. expectations remain too high over there. that said, we often have too many stocks over here that go up on even a whiff of a chinese stimulus program. it's important to separate what should rally versus what does rally. when you speak of infrastructure, that's what people say is going to be stimulated. china has a lot of -- they've got tons of aluminum, even if it's a high cost and dirty producer. that means stop taking coal off. we also take steel. again, that makes no sense, unless the chinese economy can absorb all the steel they dump worldwide. i find that highly unlikely. but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be buying the ingredients of steel which the chinese don't have. think iron, i like vale, think
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vle. secondarily they need copper. that's fcx. how about machinery? although it is a second derivative, meaning it won't happen immediately, they will need engines and trucks and earth movers. cat said negative things but those are the only two worth going with and those companies won't see a bump in time to save their quarters which is actually what matters. you can include general electric in machinery, and today the ceo said china is going to be a huge driver for earnings, that led us to increase our position for ge. people want to buy joy global, i don't know. finally there will be a step up in oil demand, and that scenario i think is very investable. the chinese will need to import and when they do that, you will want to own not any of the major oils or independents. you need international drillers and service companies.
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they make the actual rigs in deep water drilling. now let's be fair, everything does go up on a real stimulus story. and if you get actual stimulus, holy cow. but here's the bottom line, i just want you to realize that what you can own, which is just the above and what needs to be sold as a trade, which is pretty much everything else, and there's no real stimulus, then these favored nation stocks will most likely get clocked harder than any other stocks out there. let's go to eric in wisconsin. eric? >> caller: hello, jim, a big brew city boo-yah. >> done your way. what's up? >> caller: elgin natural resources they just reaffirmed their 2012 guidance, what do you think? >> this is a gamblers stock, and i don't want to gamble. i want to invest. let's go to steve in florida.
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>> caller: boo-yah, jim. >> boo-yah, steve. >> caller: i just wanted to say thank you for everything you do for us people. >> i'm doing my best, thank you for that, it's great that you said it. >> caller: i have made enough money, jim, i moved from pennsylvania to florida this month. >> good for you, sunshine. i was talking about doing that just the other day, saying you know what? when this gig is over, which may not be for another 40 years, i would move to florida. >> caller: it's beautiful, but my big question is here is wynn resorts. we all know wynn is at least a $125 stock, but with wynn slipping here again, even though they were up a little bit today, with the china stimulus, that's going to help the stock come back up, isn't it? >> i agree with you, i got to tell you wynn surprises me that it's down this much. vegas hasn't been that hot. i'm bullish on wynn.
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that doesn't mean it can't go down ten, but i think it does go up 25%. >> bill in illinois. >> caller: my question is this, gm is already doing well in china, with the proposed stimulus package they're talking about, how do you think gm is going to fare. >> be careful. europe is just absolutely terrible for them. two, while china may come back, i don't know how much money they can make on cars, but most importantly, the u.s. government is still a big shareholder and that stock's going up, boom, you get slapped upside the head with a big gob of gm stock if it goes too high. bulls in the china shop, it's still important to temper your expectations. too many stocks go up on a whiff of stimulus. many stocks will go down if there's none. coming up, answering the call. >> they have want to come on the show to tell me why i'm too bearish, they're welcome.
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>> eight by eight gave us a ring. cramer is all ears when the company's ceo gets in the hot seat just ahead.
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it is time for the lightning round. are you ready skee-daddy?
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time for the lightning round. brian in maryland. brian? >> caller: jim, good evening, we love jim cramer and staff in tacoma park, maryland. >> i'm loving that and my staff loves it too because they're the best there is. what's up? >> caller: please talk to us sir about pan american corporation. >> i prefer the slv, there are a lot of people @jimcramer saying i don't like silver. i don't dislike silver, i just like gold more. >> arlene in california. >> caller: jim, my stock is adonis pharmaceuticals. >> yesterday when that was down, that's one of the first times i have seen it down. this is really terrific. i want to own that. barbara in oregon. >> caller: hi, jim, i benefitted from your advice in the past for which i thank you, but i would like your opinion on excelon,
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exc. >> i happen to think this stock at this level is good. i would love excelon's management to come on the show and say what i think which is that i think the stock is inexpensive. go to david in california. >> caller: the stock is universal display, and the ticker is mel. >> not a fave. this is, i got to tell you, flat panel display infrastructure is so competitive. look, i am very -- i am wary of it. i'm wary of the stock, let's put it that way. i need to go to jerry in hawaii. jerry? >> caller: yes, jim, a big island aloha boo-yah from hawaii. i'm a novice here. i have been listening since january and i'm up 10% on my money, thank you so much.
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i want to congratulate you on listening to your children's dietary wisdom and i like hain's products. so i was happy to hear you recommend it. but it's come down over $15. >> sometimes a decline is a viable decline. the stock is up today but it's come down way too much, and therefore i think you got to pull the trigger. the fundamentals are great, i can't believe you've been given a big decline to be able to get into it. i need to go to ed right now in new york. >> caller: big buffalo boo-yah, jim cramer. >> c.j. spiller is down. jackson is down. a boo-yah back to you. it's your third choice. tashard choice. go ahead. >> caller: thanks for all you do for us home gamers, jim. i really appreciate it. >> my pleasure. >> caller: my stock is sand ridge energy. >> i would put sand ridge in the same category as i have put heck and magnum hunter and key. these are all -- let's just call it speculative plays.
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i need to go to jay in georgia. jay? go ahead, jay. >> caller: this is jay out of atlanta, georgia. i'm asking about river bend technologies, i see here they did a little something today and i wonder if it's still -- >> it's an up stock and everybody wants to be in it and i'm not going to touch telco equipment because i have lost too much money recommending telco stocks on this show. let's go to marilyn in pennsylvania. >> caller: hi, boo-yah, jim cramer. >> boo-yah. >> caller: i'm 80 years old living on my investments. however most of my certificates of deposit paying 5% or more are now maturing. >> right.
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>> caller: and i wanted to know what you thought of altria. >> although politically it's not correct, that is a good, good situation because of the 5% yield. no stock is as safe as a cd. i'm not saying that. i am saying that this is a good yield play if you want some income and i think the earnings story is very solid. and that ladies and gentlemen is the conclusion of the lightning round. >> the lightning round is sponsored by td ameritrade.
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as an investor, you simply cannot afford to be wedded to your own opinions. you've got to challenge yourself. finding smart places to put your money is all about being flexible. when i say something negative about a stock, i am always willing to at least listen to the other side of the story. especially when the ceo comes on the show. consider eight by eight. it's always very speculative. it's given us a tremendous amount of speculation over the years, i suggest that it might
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be better to go with a dominant cloud name. 8 by 8 has gone through a huge transformation over the last decade. maybe i'm alluding too much to the well far away past. eight years ago it was a semiconductor company. businesses that use 8 by 8 services do not need to purchase expensive phone equipment. it's all bundled as a service. that saves businesses big money. i still think the stock is highly speculative. so it can always be risky if you chase it. but with these caveats in mind, let's give brian martin, the
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chairman and ceo of 8 by 8, a chance to tell us more about his company and why it might be a worthwhile investment. when i say something that's tough, management comes on, they want a shot, here's what i do. i'm giving the floor to you, because i already took the floor, you've got it. >> we are a technology company, and as you said, we have been in the communication space many, many decades. we were forced to become a service provider. we started in the home phone market and now we moved into the business market which has been extremely profitable and extremely fast growing for us. >> who is right now servicing these customers that you are taking business from? >> my average new customer bought 14 lines from it. that's a tiny end of the small business market. most of these customers have att or verizon as their long distance provider.
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>> it's winstream competitor. >> winstream is one of those companies we're probably taking a little bit of business away from. we're not just the long distance provider, but we're bringing in a turnkey solution, the phone, the service, we become your monthly long distance provider and we give you capabilities and features to attach yourself to an iphone or a google tablet. >> we know cisco as being a company that has provided a lot of equipment into this sector. you seem like a partner of cisco, but someone who cisco might not want to partner with. >> cisco is a vendor. >> a lot of people get excited these days. whether it be vernetix or interdigital, value of patents, we know that with motorola. it was bought by google because
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of the patents. how much should be be putting stock in your patents? >> we were issued our 83rd patent today. the communication space especially in voice is a patent minefield. there's a lot of ip out there, goes back to lucent and att and all of those big portfolios. the fact that we have been an i.t. company, we certainly don't have the thousands of patents that some of those entities have. it's enabled us to sell patents to some of the players out there. we do cross license exchanges. it's a vital part of our business, even though it may not show up on the top line every quarter.
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>> two nights ago we had mr. mewsi, he's the ceo of paychex, he's talking about how small business, how the formation is not good. how much is the -- does the pie heart? i know you're taking share in the pie. but the small business market is not growing in the company that we know of. >> fcc actually twice a year publishes access line data. the past two periods, access lines are going down for the last two years. they've stabilized. it's not like we're going up tremendously. even while the market is declining, the penetration of our type of technology is already at 8.2%. the home phone line market, which had the early voice over. you don't really reach the small business market through direct advertising. we employ a nationwide sales team in a call center in san jose, california.
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we also in the last 18 months started selling to larger companies. our latest is actually 1,500 extensions. those are being sold through channel partners. and that's the path into those customers. >> i think it's a compelling story. i always like to admit when i may have moved too quick to be able to say be careful. it's still speculative because of its size, but this is a different play from salesforce.com. it is a cloud play in its own right, definitely. that's brian martin, chairman and ceo of 8 by 8. lots of stuff on the web, if you want to learn more about the story, pretty compelling, certainly more compelling than i
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we have lots to anticipate as we start the fourth quarter on monday. as i said earlier, depending on what comes out of europe and china in the next few weeks, there's real potential for this market to hold here, go higher or sink lower. my job is to help you make money no matter what happens, no
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matter which way the seesaw turns. that's why we play am i diversified. this is where you call me, you tell me your top five holdings, i tell you if your portfolio is diversified. what matters is that we learn. so let's start am i diversified. sgi suntrust. let's get to work. lulu lemon is very exciting. let's call it apparel. ebay is really a bank, as well as an exchange. suntrust, that's a bank that we charitable trust.
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apple is tech obviously and corner stone is tech. corner stone recommended dramatically lower and i want to take profits in corner stone right now. and yes, it is time for this portfolio low own bristol myers. they have a bank and they would have tech and then i would feel that -- by the way, i'm not signaling ebay and apple the same, the reason is because ebay is paypal. and paypal is more like visa and mastercard. let's go to patrick in connecticut. >> boo-yah, jim, thanks for taking my call. my top five holdings are intel, google, chipotle, gt advanced technologies, gtat, and gilead sciences. >> i'm going to say point blank, i'm going to give you why this is not a diversified portfolio.
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it's got too much high risk in terms of stocks. chipotle's is wild. only intel with a 4% yield is not spec. and gilead is a highly up and down crazy stock, that said, okay, you have an internet company, you've got a tech company, you've got a tech company that's very, very similar. keep intel. you have a biotech company and you have a food company. i need to see some diversified industrials. something like a ge in there would really help. and then i think we'll be in good shape. but please, cut the risk profile because a down 100 day, that portfolio is going to be down 5%. let's go to jimbo in michigan. >> thanks for taking my call. my five stocks are apple, aapl, intuitive surgical, isrg, pepsico, pep, johnson and
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johnson, jnj, disney, dis. am i diversified, jim? >> let's go to work here. for jimbo, which is what my sister nan always calls me. j and j, pharmaceutical, pepsi, disney, entertainment, intuitive surgical and apple is technology, you got technology, you got pharma, you've got beverage, you've got entertainment and medical. intuitive is different enough from j and j that i'm not going to say it's not diversified. i'm going to bless that. purists would say jim you should make him sell intuitive surgical. let's go to nathan in maryland. >> caller: boo-yah, cramer, nathan in maryland, my stocks are abbott laboratories, adp, jp morgan, jpm. att, and target.
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>> sorry, i buzzed you because i don't want to run out of time. this is a really important portfolio. why? because stephanie, action alerts portfolio, also on "fast money" today. we were both thinking this is the stock that we should be buying, philip morris international. target is a discount chain. abbott, pharma, good yields in all these, good growth, tobacco, retailer, pharma, bank, telco. that is, nathan's portfolio is the winner tonight. stay with cramer. greetings from the windy city of chicago.
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>> everybody's exciting about research in motion because they didn't report such a horrible number. there's always a bull market somewhere and i promise to try to find it somewhere for you.
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Boys Republic (GNIS FID: 1660368) is a populated place LOCATED WITHIN the City of Chino Hills. In turn, the City of Chino Hills is located within San Bernardino County.
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Therapeutically Enhanced Education
Therapeutically Enhanced Education
Aspire Christian Academy (ACA) is the only school in AR solely committed to educating students who have a within normal limits and above IQ with diagnosis of dyslexia, language delays, ADHD, apraxia, sensory processing disorder, and/or specific learning disability. We offer a 1:6 teacher student ratio in small classrooms that deliver explicit, systematic personalized instruction so students have the skills and confidence to learn and succeed.
ACA serves students age 4 to 13. Our programs are created and designed to holistically address the students six domains of health and wellness: intellect, social, spiritual, emotional, environment, and physical. Our model strives to give the student the right tools to be successful in thier home, school and community. ACA provides a school where a student can develop their unique giftedness, self-confidence and the skills necessary to realize their full achievement in all areas of their life.
ACA utilizes academic curriculum created by the staff and founder, which adapts traditional teaching methods to specific tailored proven curriculum, used to reach gifted and bright students who learn differently. ACA uses evidence-based multisensory progrms such as Orton Gillingham, Sequential English Education®, The DuBard Associaiton Method®, Multisensory Math, Lindamood Bell®, Montessori activities, and biblically based life skills training.
ACA offers parent trainings and conferences to educate, equip and support them as a integral part of our team. Students who learn differently find traditional school frustrating and overwhelming which impacts the entire family. Equally important to ACA is our ability to provide a place of belonging and acceptance for the student.
ACA's multi-disciplinary team consisting of the families, educators, speech language pathologists, occupational and physical therapists utilizes a comprehensive holistic approach we call a"Therapeutically Enhanced Education® that addresses the student's therapeutic and academic needs. The curriculum, learning environment, organizational methods, sensory support, and Biblical Principles are of the utmost importance to our model. Our focus for each student is to address their weaknesses while building on their strengths. Our students discover that they were fearfully and wonderfully made by God, so they are able to accept their journey in life as well as learn coping strategies to persevere over trials with Godly character.
(Due to limited class sizes, please always check with our admissions office for openings and possible placement)