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Relationship built on lies - reveal or keep going?(58 Posts)
To cut to the chase, I cheated on my partner on and off for the first six months of our relationship. It started accidentally. I meet my boyfriend, I happened to meet someone else at nearly the same time, I agreed to go out for a drink with both and it snowballed... I kept pushing the other guy back and my boyfriend became my boyfriend, but the other guy never entirely left the scene and we slept together a few times.
My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of times over this period so it's not like he ever thought our relationship was all rainbows. On some levels I think he knows about the other bloke but he's never asked me out right. I don't really have an excuse for it, except it just kind of happened, the other guy was very persistent and I was bit of a mess. I met them both about six months out of a six year relationship and I'd decided that I absolutely wasn't looking for a relationship at that point. The problem is of course that now I've realised how wonderful my boyfriend is, or rather I'm in a better place to appreciate that.
It is now definitely, 100% over with the other guy and I'm looking forward to pursuing the relationship with my BF without complications. The problem is I'm not sure if I should come clean or take this as a fresh start and just be a better person. Friends know but I'm pretty sure they'd be discreet. I'm just very aware that accidents happen - I remember a thread here a few months ago where a woman overheard a chance remark about her fiancee's early infidelity at their engagement party and called the wedding off. If we are going to build a future part of me would rather do so knowing there aren't any surprises that could derail it. But the selfish part of me would rather just keep quiet. I know it's not fair to give him the wrong impression of who I am, but as I say above, our relationship has been rocky so it feels less dishonest than it could do IYSWIM.
We broke up because I wasn't sure I wanted to be in a relationship and I wasn't sure he was someone I'd want a future with. A lot of this stemmed from me being very recently out a very painful breakup. I do feel that if I'd met him now then there wouldn't have been the mess.
Taratamara I think you may be on to something. I get very jealous in relationships and in an odd way, if I'm really honest, I felt a little insulated from that during those six months. I knew that I was definitely the loose canon.
Bestsonever that seems very unfair to ask you outright and then tell you you shouldn't have told!
Maybe you're all right and he's not "the one" but I want to give it a shot, and a shot, so my question is really about what gives it the best shot?
Best shot? Be honest.
Honesty gives it the best shot. Otherwise what sort of relationship is it?
I think I want to give us a few more months of just being happy before I consider raising it. At the moment it's too soon for me to demonstrate that I can be better.
How will you be happy though? I mean, happiness to me is being totally unencumbered by doubt and guilt.
Happiness as in we just enjoy the honeymoon period, commit to each other and respect each other from here on in.
Sounds like you want all the control and to give your partner none because he's in the dark here. Your gamble. The truth will out one way or another.
Nah. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. Honest. The lie will magnify, not recede, especially with the world and his dog knowing.
OP, you're living in Lala land. You can probably get away with a few more months 'of just being happy' without it coming to light, but what's the point? It's completely fake. It's purely a selfish form of happiness because it's based on tricking your partner into something that he may not have chosen if he knew the truth.
Your partner has the right to make his own choice. The longer this goes on, the more culpable you become, the more horrified he's going to be. You have to accept that by very poor judgement you may have nuked this relationship. Take responsibility for that and learn that this is not how to do relationships, it's immature and unrealistic.
You say you really like your boyfriend, yet you're not giving him to choice on whether to be with you whilst knowing all the facts.
If I were him, I'd ditch you immediately, especially if your other break ups have centred on you not being ready.
It sounds like now you're ready, but I think you've ballsed this one up OP.
Can you plausibly spin it as "I slept with a guy for a few times while we were not together (during the 'off' part of the on/off relationship) but now I know you are the one" etc?
See, I never understand anyone who thinks people should keep quiet about cheating or affairs. Yes, of course the person cheated on will probably be devastated or hurt. But every decent person deserves to be in a relationship with someone that respects them and treats them well. Cheating on them shows a lack of respect. Lying about it ditto. They have right to know their partner's morals.
I think I want to give us a few more months of just being happy before I consider raising it.
Either keep shtum and never say anything, or tell him now.
Want him to "fall in love" so you can really mess with his head some months down the track?
Sounds like you want to make yourself feel better.
You won't.
You certainly won't make him feel better.
If other people know then it will come out.
If OP thinks it will come out, she should tell him now.
You're being exceptionally dishonest and emotionally immature I think.
You've not got a relationship with your bf because you are only prepared to do that taking and no giving. You even sound like you are blaming him for talking about exclusivity too soon - too right it was too soon because your were seeing someone else!
Basic human decency should have seen you say to him that's what you were doing and how you felt when he raised that chat.
You blame the OM for pressuring you and you want to trick your bf into having stronger feelings before you expose yourself as a liar/before you can trust you'll be able to manipulate him into staying.
Astonishing levels of selfishness and deceit there.
I think you need to confess now and if he does want to split up I don't think you should date until you've sorted yourself out a bit, you just can't treat people like this.
I wanted to let you know that I am in a similar situation. Only some of the details are different which I think makes a huge difference although I recognise that some people here won't see that.
About 3 years ago I was young free and single and doing some online dating but getting a bit hacked off with it.
Just as I was about to give up I went on a date with a lovely guy - let's call him A. We arranged a second date but TBH I had been there many many times and wasn't overly hopeful. In between our first and second date I met a man in a bar (let's call him B) and there was instant chemistry.
So for about 6 weeks I saw them (and slept with them) both. I liked them both but didn't tell either of them about the other. I felt like I didn't owe either of them an explanation at the time, it was such early days. But quite quickly I realised that although I fancied the pants off B that A was a keeper and had potential for a long-term relationship.
So I finished it with B. He was really surprisingly upset and it took quite a few phone calls until he finally accepted it. But finish it I did and have gone on to have a lovely, happy relationship with A (3 years so far!)
Except I've never told him about B. I justify it in my mind that we hadn't had the exclusive talk or mentioned the L word and that I ended it quickly with B (6 weeks for me is a different matter than 6 months!). But I still feel guilty about it and sometimes consider confessing to A. But I never have because I know he would be very upset and it seems a bit pointless. There is no chance of A and B meeting as they live in different countries.
Where I think your situation differs OP is that you didn't end it when your BF became your BF and he believed you to be exclusive. Having said that, I don'tthink there's much point in telling your BF. Not sure what it would achieve tbh. Apart from assuaging your guilt.
Just wanted to know that I can understand your dilema
Have you decided OP?
Well, I'm sure I'll get flamed, but I've decided to keep quiet. For various reasons I think we are strong enough to survive it if it came out. (I haven't gone into the rocky patches, but he really doesn't think I'm an angel). However, it would hurt him hugely, create unease where unease isn't necessary and always sour something that doesn't need souring and I'm not sure the price for honesty for it's own sake is worth that. If I thought he'd instantly want to end it then I might feel it was morally different.
But if he ever gives any indication that he knows and is looking for confirmation I will come clean. As I said, I'm pretty sure he strongly suspects but has never probed.
Regarding the "it will come out", this isn't actually an uncommon scenario in my social circle (and it's not even the worst story!) and those have all remained hidden.
If he strongly suspects, he will probe eventually, and then it will be over. You will have wasted x amount of time and have to start again.
You cannot build a solid relationship on such dodgy ground. But, you'll have to find this out the hard way...
Why am I not surprised? Not sure why you asked. What a lovely social circle you must have, where people cheat and think so little of their partners.
Yes, learning the hard way it is then for someone you claim to love too...
Honesty for honesty's sake i.e. To be an honest person and a respectful partner is always better than lying for the sake of keeping a relationship btw.
I feel for the partner here. When/if it's found out, it will be the lack of respect that will hurt way more than the cheating.
I couldn't do it. Each to their own!
Well as long as you realise that you're keeping this secret for your own benefit only and not because this is a great love or anything.
You don't respect this man and you don't seem to particularly care for him either. Sorry to sound harsh but don't you think he deserves better than you?
You have taken away his choice - you have decided for him and you have done this for selfish reasons.
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This Week's Moonscopes Forecast
For the week of March 7 to March 13
Sunday, Monday(*v/c-am): the Moon is in Sagittarius
Keep the expansive, playful energy of Saturday (see last week's forecast) going into the beginning of this week. Jupiter and Mercury are in a strong aspect (connection) to the Moon (square - in Pisces) and will add to the active mental atmosphere already in place. Trust deep hunches and flashes of intuition.
Monday pm, Tuesday, Wednesday(v/c-evening): the Moon is in Capricorn
The sign Capricorn likes to get down to business and to get things done. Saturn, the planet that rules (is closely associated with) Capricorn, is currently traveling through the sign Libra which likes to be imaginative and artistic. This Libra placement puts Saturn in a square aspect to the Moon. Venus, the planet that rules Libra, is currently traveling through the sign Aries. This puts it in a square aspect to both Saturn and the Moon. Creativity and practicality are simultaneously invigorated and moving along side by side.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday am(v/c): the Moon is in Aquarius
Mars is still running around in Leo and as such is in a sign opposite to the sign the Moon is in right now. Aquarius likes to be as inventive and ingenious as possible and this Martian energy will enliven that even more by kicking things into high gear.
Saturday pm: the Moon is in Pisces
Ok, time to wind down and treat yourself to some quiet time, some escape-from-the-world time. Let your mind wander into fantasyland and then just lay back and enjoy the view.
Check your astrology chart to find which house (section of your chart) has the current Moon sign on the cusp (the beginning edge) & apply Forecast information to that area of your life as well.
For example, the Moon is in Leo and one of the suggestions is to entertain - however Leo is located in the 12th house of your chart, which is an inward energy place...then have a small, quiet gathering. By contrast, if Leo is located in the 1st house of your chart, an outward energy place...have a party! Don't have an astrology chart? Click here .
It is interesting to note when the current Moon is in the same sign as your birth Moon and to see how the flavor of that day carries through the next 30 days.
Current Planet Positions:
Sun - Pisces, until Mar. 21
Mercury - Pisces, until Mar. 18
Venus - Aries, until Apr. 1
Mars - Leo, until June 7
Jupiter - Pisces, until Jan. 23, 2011
Saturn - Libra, until Oct. 6, 2012
(Virgo, Apr. 8, 2010 - Jul. 22, 2010)
Uranus - Pisces, until Mar. 12, 2011
Neptune - Aquarius, until Feb. 4, 2012
Pluto - Capricorn, until Nov. 20, 2024
Current Asteroid Positions:
Ceres - Sagittarius, until Oct. 9
(Capricorn, Mar. 20 - June 8)
Pallas - Scorpio, until Oct. 8
Juno - Taurus, until April 18
Vesta - Virgo, Nov. 20 - Aug. 10
(Leo, Feb. 17 - May 27)
Chiron - Aquarius, until Feb. 18, 2011
Current Asteroid Transits:
Ceres - Envelope and support an expanded world view.
Pallas - The focus is detachment & when, how, or where to use it.
Juno - Solid, steady relationships are priceless and worth every effort.
Vesta - Service to others with no complaints or regrets.
Chiron - Regeneration comes in unusual forms.
Note: Timeframes for Moon signs, void-of-course periods, and current planet & asteroid positions are noted for Eastern time zone (USA). Please adjust according to your own location. Times are not given if the void-of-course Moon occurs for a very short period or if it occurs during the night (based on Eastern time zone).
* v/c = Void-of-Course - When the Moon is void-of-course, spend time working on projects already in progress, creative endeavors, or self-improvement. Void-of-course simply means that no planets are aspecting the Moon. It's best not to start new projects, sign important agreements, or go shopping when the Moon is void-of-course because the result will probably be unsatisfactory in some way.
** Mercury Retrograde - the speed of the planet slows down considerably. Communications, paperwork, electronics, and traffic can become very mixed-up or delayed during this time. A situation will be in the process of changing, so wait until Mercury is direct to finalize anything. In general, maintain a slower, more cautious pace in daily affairs. Always allow at least two days before (to slow down) and after (to resume regular activities) a Mercury retrograde period. [
link to www.moonscopes.com
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Your Church Staff Team Needs a Little Bit of This Unpleasant Experience
Yet most church leaders try to eliminate it. read more
Be grateful for these faithful women of God. read more
We've all been there. But here's the good news. read more
One of the most common struggles I see in pastors is the fear of being confident. read more
Some of us are trying to help other people buy into our agendas. read more
It could make for some great opportunities. read more
Like those involved in any other ministry, greeters can get in a rut. read more
There are several ways this can be done. read more
During pastor appreciation month, you should reflect on why you're grateful to lead your flock. read more
When the process breaks down, ask yourself these important questions. read more


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5 October 2011
another summer {part 3}
21 comments:
Oh, this looks amazing - I can't wait for our spring/summer to actually start! It seems you're stealing all our good weather over there in the north! Enjoy it while it lasts : )ReplyDelete
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- 1 of 2 Photos | View More Photos
ATHENS -- As a grandmother to four OU students, Donna Gander knows how to celebrate Moms Weekend from 10 years of experience.
Donna has strutted down the bricks for 10 consecutive Moms Weekends, often walking her familiar path from Red Brick Tavern to Burrito Buggy, which often sits on the corner of Court and Union streets.
This year, she came to Athens for her grandson, David Evancho, an Ohio University junior studying management information systems and marketing. Last Saturday, "Grandma D" sat on the porch swing of the Palmer Street house, drinking Old Milwaukee alongside her four grandsons. The family played beer pong and cornhole under a sign reading "Grandma Donna's 10th OU Moms Weekend" while waiting for the grandsons to finish grilling burgers and hot dogs.
For a brief two years -- from 1958-1960 -- Donna actually lived in Athens with her husband and a young Debbie Mosser, one of her daughters who now accompanies Donna for Moms Weekends.
The Moms Weekend tradition in the family began in 2005 when Donna, 76, visited for Moms Weekend along with her daughters, Doree Evancho and Debbie -- neither of whom attended OU. Debbie's son, Jess Mosser, a previous Post contributor, was studying journalism at the time.
Since then, Doree's son, Stephen Evancho, and Debbie's second son, Trent Mosser, have graduated from OU in 2009 and 2011, respectively.
The only tradition-breaker was Doree's second son, Michael Evancho, a 2011 Ohio State University graduate.
Donna has traveled about 90 minutes each time from Cambridge, and this past Saturday was no exception.
Donna, her two daughters, four grandsons and several family friends gathered at 19A Palmer St. to celebrate and plan for what might possibly be Donna's last OU Moms Weekend next year, when David will be a senior.
"I have fond memories of (OU)," Donna said. "I really love it."
But Donna's Moms Weekend streak was almost cut short when David originally accepted Baldwin Wallace University's offer to play football. When the football season ended, David realized he wanted to attend OU.
"It's always been OU, I guess," David said.
David transferred to OU after his first term at Baldwin Wallace, but his family wasn't surprised.
"Behind (his) back, we always said he has to come here for school," Doree said.
After 10 years, specific traditions haven't formed, other than heading Uptown for a few drinks and to the Burrito Buggy for a late-night snack no matter how intoxicated they are, Donna said.
"I've gone home after a weekend down here, and when I unpack my clothes they're covered with burrito," Donna said.
The family went to Skipper's -- now Jackie O's Pub & Brewery -- during its first Moms Weekend in 2005. Now, Red Brick is "our bar," Donna said. She even once sneaked some gin into the bar and served her grandsons from the bottle in her purse.
Donna, Debbie and Doree knew a Red Brick owner from Cambridge, but as the years went on, bartenders and patrons began also recognizing them.
"When we would go back to the Red Brick all the time, people knew my mom," Debbie said. "They remembered us from Moms Weekends before."
After Doree made it on the front page of the Athens News dancing on a table at Red Brick for their first Moms Weekend, the family commissioned a News photographer, who was a classmate of Jess', to take photos of them Uptown.
Dancing on tables was not the only way the family got noticed Uptown. In 2007, Gander ran for Cambridge City Council, so she and her daughters made 35 red shirts for their sons and friends that read "Vote for Grandma Donna."
Donna's shirt read "I'm Grandma Donna," and even though she wasn't in her own voting district, she became the most popular candidate.
"I would have people (in Athens) say 'I'll vote for you, I'll vote for Grandma Donna,' so that was fun," Donna said.
She won the election and served four years on Cambridge City Council after having been city auditor for 20 years, she said.
The family's dads visit for Dads Weekend, and the entire bunch was last together for Jess' bachelor party during Palmer Fest 2012.
The grandsons didn't just come together for family weekends, either. Trent and Steve lived two doors apart on Palmer Street, and David strived to inherit Palmer 19A after Steve graduated.
Once David graduates, Donna isn't sure she'll be back to OU to party.
Donna also has memories of Athens from those years she lived here in the late '50s, but what really makes the place is her grandsons.
"I just love when my boys are here together and have a good time," Donna said.
"I wouldn't trade them for anything -- except for the one who went to Ohio State."
This article appeared in The Post under the headline "Grand(Moms) Weekend."


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The company hired by the city of Killeen in 2007 to install and run red-light traffic cameras at several intersections is at the center of a scandal alleging the company used bribes to gain municipal contracts.
A Jan. 23 story headlined "Watchdog: Red light bribe scandal could be widespread" in the Chicago Tribune quotes a fired Redflex Traffic Camera Systems senior salesman alleging the company bribed officials with gifts "in dozens of municipalities" to get contracts.
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The city's contract with Redflex, dated Aug. 29, 2007, states the agreement is in effect for five years, with the city having the option to extend its contract for up to two consecutive two-year terms. According to city documents, City Manager Glenn Morrison sent a letter to Redflex on Jan. 31, 2013, requesting the contract, which expired April 30 be extended through April 30, 2017.
Shine said Redflex approached the city to offer its services, but the city "experienced no improprieties during this approach nor since."
Red-light cameras are at Stan Schlueter Loop and Central Texas Expressway; Fort Hood Street and Central Texas Expressway; Trimmier Road and Central Texas Expressway; W.S. Young Drive and Central Texas Expressway; and Lowe's Boulevard and Trimmier Road.
The city accelerated getting the project off the ground in August 2007 when a bill passed by the Texas Legislature put restrictions on maximum fines and the use of funds collected. The city's quick action grandfathered it in so that it wouldn't be affected by the increase in restrictions.
Killeen collects about $14 for each $75 citation. The city splits fines with the state and Redflex.
Redflex is paid by the city on a tiered system. According to the contract, for the first 90 citations issued in a month, Redflex collects $48, $38 for 91 to 180 citations and $28 for more than 180 citations.
Funds the city receives through violations are designated for traffic and safety purposes through the Killeen Police Department.


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I do not understand why this hotel has received such raving reviews. The breakfast was very good and they had a nice happy hour in the evening but...the rooms were incredibly small and uncomfortable. The design was hip but who cares about style when u can barely move with two people in the room. There was no place to store luggage so it had to sit in the middle of the room and the bathroom was extremely cramped. If u are tall forget about this hotel as the beds are short. The staff claimed they were two meters but absolutely not. We pulled the bed from the wall and we still felt crammed and feet practically hanging off. We are 188 cm and 190 so we know we are tall but have not had this problem before like this.
The staff was not extemely friendly and the breakfast staff and staff for the happy hour looked like they hated their jobs.
The hotel was in a nice location and was clean and modern but they were missing some important elements to make a stay worth coming back.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Harmony Hotel Jerusalem is located in the heart of Jerusalem at Nahalat Sheva, which is one of the first neighborhoods that was built out of the old city's walls at the end of the 19th century. This Jerusalem Hotel is Atlas' latest boutique hotel. Twenty five years ago Nahalat Sheva was the subject to a complete restoration by the city's municipality and today it is full of shops, restaurants, bars and cafes. ... more less
- Reservation Options:
- TripAdvisor is proud to partner with Booking.com, Expedia, Orbitz, Agoda, Hotels.com, Travelocity, Hotwire, Cancelon, Cheap Tickets, TripOnline SA, getaroom.com, HotelQuickly and Evoline ltd so you can book your Harmony Hotel Jerusalem - an Atlas Boutique Hotel reservations with confidence. We help millions of travelers each month to find the perfect hotel for both vacation and business trips, always with the best discounts and special offers.
- Also Known As:
- Harmony Hotel Jerusalem


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The Mumbai Cricket Association officials turned up but they should be asking themselves why they did not think of doing such a thing themselves. But of course when the mind is concentrated on trying to get someone else down, then such noble ideas do not always come through in a brain which is used to politicking and maneuvering and trying to stay in power.
The evening itself was a chance to catch up with old cricketing colleagues and seniors and also to see the new lot that is playing for Mumbai. It would have been better if the invitations had been restricted, for it would have then been possible to meet with every player, but with far too many people who had little to do with cricket being around, it was difficult to move around and meet everybody.
The organisers had to deal with some gate-crashers and some who strategically phoned up and asked questions in a way which meant the organisers had to invite them. Talking to a cross-section of the players, past and present, the feeling was that it would have been a better evening if only the players had been invited.
Certainly the current players seemed to be a bit tight-lipped with the media around, while the former players were happy to offer their pearls of wisdom to the media. So what could have been a truly great and memorable evening fizzled out to be just another cricketing evening. A great opportunity to have an interaction with the past and present of Mumbai's cricket and to exchange views that would have helped Mumbai cricket was lost and who knows when such an occasion may come again.
After last year's debacle when they did not even qualify for the Ranji super league, this season the Mumbai team's progress has been champion-like and it proves that a coach does take some time to get his views and methods across to the players.
After last year's performances, there were plenty of people who questioned the wisdom of appointing Ashok Mankad as Mumbai's coach, but this year, under the same coach, Mumbai has played top cricket not only in the four-day matches, but also in the one-day format.
Unfortunately, in India, we expect instant results from our captains, coaches and selectors, not realising that everything in India does take time. Patience has not been a strength with Indian cricket, especially since the exposure to one-day cricket; and that tells in the way we play Test cricket.
At the national level, fingers are being pointed at two of our greatest cricketers, accusing them of indulging in a personal vendetta against certain players, but has anyone heard of the saying once bitten, twice shy?' Maybe both have had experiences which they do not wish to be repeated.
And which captain and coach would be foolish enough to put their own jobs on the line for setting personal scores, for quite simply, if inferior players are selected, then the team's performance is going to suffer and when that happens, their own tenure will be limited.
India's dismal performance in Australia has led to this accusation, but what has India's performance been overseas under any captain or coach in the last decade? Why were such accusations not made after those tours? If the coach and the captain want to look ahead, then we must be patient with them and have faith in them instead of accusing them the way they have been accused. And after the accusations, do we expect other former cricketers to come forward and do the coaching or the selectors' jobs?
Tell me, why would anybody in his right senses want to do a job which is guaranteed to get him brickbats and nothing else. There is absolutely no middle road in Indian cricket. It is either love or hate and there is no sound reasoning for this.
Look at G R Viswanath. During his playing days, there was not one player in his own team or in the opposition who had a harsh word to say about him. He was and is universally loved in the world of cricket, but when he was the Chairman of the Selection Committee and thus had to brief the media, he found that a motivated mediaperson with his own agenda would cast aspersions on his character and cricketing knowledge and get away with it.
Again, unfortunately, every single person who accuses another of being parochial is himself so, for otherwise why would such a thought even enter his/her mind? But again it is always the other person who is the wrong-doer while the person making the allegations is pure as snow.
By all means, I suggest that Tendulkar will be better off to Indian cricket without the burden of captaincy, but do not accuse the little champion or for that matter Kapil Dev of settling personal scores, for that very accusation can be easily turned around to show that those being portrayed as the aggrieved party were themselves no saints not so long ago. And the tactic could be the use of innuendoes -- as is being done to two of India's greatest cricketers.
The South African series is not going to be easy and it would be fair to let Sachin and Kapil carry on without adding the pressure of accusing them of something without a shred of evidence.
Sri Lanka have shown the way by going ahead without two superb cricketers, Ranatunga and De Silva, and they are making good progress and looking solid for the future with a number of talented youngsters coming on and taking the responsibility under a new skipper.
Quite clearly, the way to go is forward, but in India we are experts in going round and round and round! Pity!
Professional Management Group


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wikiHow to Protect Your iPhone 4
Two Methods:Protecting your iPhone from being stolenDirectionsCommunity Q&A
Want to keep your iPhone in mint condition? Read on! You will also learn how to keep it safe if it gets lost.
Protecting your iPhone from being stolen
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- Do not try to get your phone back by yourself. Call the police and have them do it for you/come with you.
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Four Firms Hoping To Tap Into Facebook's 500M Users
On the heels of the announcement this morning by Facebook that it has officially hit 500 million users, socalTECH has mined its database of high tech companies, and identified a few of the firms here in Southern California hoping to ride Facebook's coat-tails to success and fortune.
RealGifts, San Diego - a facebook application which allows users to send both real and virtual gifts to their friends. Backed by Facebook's fbFund. [Profile]
Friendgiftr, Hollywood - looking to allow Facebook users to send actual gift cards to their friends. Founded by Rob Carpenter. [Profile].
Favrav, Westlake Village - FavRav has developed an online tool to help small businesses to promote and gain referrals from facebook users. Founded by Taher Scherzay and Bill Manos [Profile]
Sometrics, Los Angeles - Sometrics, originally founded as a provider of analytics for Facebook apps, is now also powering virtual goods and currency tools for social games on Facebook and other platforms. Backed by Steamboat Ventures, Greycroft Partners, AT&T, and The Mail Room Fund. Headed by Ian Swanson. [Profile]
Have we missed a firm here poised to take advantage of Facebook's popularity and growth? Let us know!


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I am doing well. My morning sicknesses have gotten better. I'm grateful!!!!
I can't believe that I am almost 5 mos pregnant and today is the special day because we find out the gender of the baby.
We are having a baby girl!!!! We are very thrilled and our son is going to be a big brother to little sister. :-)
Now we are going to work on the baby girl room soon! Its very exciting to do!!!
Hope you guys are doing well and have a wonderful year!!!
Thank you!!!!
Congrats on the baby girl :-)
a baby girl! congratulations!
thank you guys!!!!! :-) we always wanted to have one boy and one girl then we got our wish!!!!
Congratulations, hahaaha there are lots of baby girls being born this year.....
Really? In 2013, I know many baby boys were being born that included my son and few friends of mine .
and thanks!!!
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Birth: February 09
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I am a stay home mom and have a 2 year old son and 0 mos old daughter. I am enjoying taking care of my son. When I have free time and I enjoy reading books, sewing things, and cooking delicious food! I am a food recipe collector which I love to try new things whenever I can!


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Enter your work address to calculate commute times to and from 9451 Rosanky Rd.
Approx 3.5-3.9 acres and the historic dance hall are for sale. The owner will retain 1-1.5 acres near the oil lease equipment and no mineral rights conveying to buyer. Own a piece of history with this iconic dance hall!! The floors are wood with some vinyl over them, siding needs replacement, electric was stolen recently. AS-IS condition only, no repairs or allowance.
|3473179 - Commercial Sale
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Property Listed by: Kana Real Estate, LLC
The information being provided is for consumers' personal, non-commercial use and may not be used for any purpose other than to identify prospective properties consumers may be interested in purchasing.
Based on information from the Austin Board of REALTORS® (alternatively, from ACTRIS) from July 28th, 2017 at 1:47pm CDT. Neither the Board nor ACTRIS guarantees or is in any way responsible for its accuracy. The Austin Board of REALTORS®, ACTRIS and their affiliates provide the MLS and all content therein "AS IS" and without any warranty, express or implied. Data maintained by the Board or ACTRIS may not reflect all real estate activity in the market.
All information provided is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed and should be independently verified.


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Not So Fast, Pro
By Torleif Sorenson on 10/17/13
This is what happens when the power-brokers move the proverbial goal-posts.
Associated Press golf writer Doug Ferguson has the strange tale of Kevin Tway, who earned his PGA Tour card last month and whose dad is Bob Tway, the 1986 PGA Championship winner. At the end of the Web.com Tour season, Tway had won the Albertsons Boise Open, had three other top-ten finishes, and made 14 out of 18 cuts on the AAA-minor league circuit in 2013. Perhaps more importantly, he finished 5th on the money list. That should have left Tway in perfectly good shape for 2014, given that the top 25 Web.com Tour players are assured of a PGA Tour card.
But then came the four-event "Web.com Tour Finals" — and that fifth-place money list position evaporated. Tway went MC in two of the four tournaments and his best finish was 52nd at the next-to-last tournament. He went from No. 9 on the list to No. 46.
As a result, Tway was barely able to get into the Frys.com Open last week — and was shut out of this week's PGA Tour event in Las Vegas. That makes it even harder for him to stay in the top 50 after the first six tournaments of the 2013-14 PGA Tour season. Making things even worse, the Tour will re-seed again following the first six events.
"Obviously, I want them to do it a different way. It seems unfair. But other people like it. I'm not a smart enough person to come up with a plan. Hopefully, when I get my starts I'll play well. And if you play well, they can't keep you off the Tour."As Ferguson correctly points out, the Tour underestimated the number of players who would enter the October Tour events. So it would appear that the multiple-reseeding that has muddied the waters of the FedEx Cup Playoffs is also making a convoluted mess for Web.com Tour graduates.
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We are the sum of our experiences
On the second day of June 1988, I became the second child born to Sandra and Michael Gorichanaz, though I have two older siblings. Yes, we are one of those families. That is to say we are about as normal as can be expected of any modern American family.
My parents are both lifelong employees of Northwestern Mutual, a Milwaukee based insurance company. Dad worked some manual labor jobs after high school before ending up in Northwestern Mutual's computer operations center in a time when computers were room sized and operating one meant something entirely different than it does today. He is now retired. Mom interned with the company at the end of high school and went on to complete her master's degree in business administration and finance.
Family shakeup and renewal
Within a few years of my birth, Tim and Ben arrived. The three of us and my older sister Kim attended St. Hubert Catholic School through eighth grade. My youth was probably a typical middle income suburban one, but when I was eight and my parents disclosed they were getting a divorce, I felt like the world was collapsing. It sounds silly to think about now, but I remember crying and feeling angry. We all got through it, of course, and I am grateful for how life found a way.
Mom got remarried, and then came Maggie, Selena, Ricky, Christina and Tristan. Meanwhile, my brother Bob had two kids and then my sister Kim had one. In what now seems like no time at all, my family doubled, giving me the lifelong privilege of having to explain that I have nine siblings and why I am not certain of all their birthdays.
Lessons in business and life
When I was 10, Mom franchised a dollar store in West Bend, Wisconsin, where we would eventually be moving pending a delayed house construction. That business was a defining period in my life. I was involved from the beginning, first helping with stocking, but soon doing much more. Customers were surprised and delighted to see such a young boy cashiering, but for me the benefits went far beyond that.
In the years following, we doubled the first location's size and opened another in a nearby city. Even before I could drive, I was traveling internationally – just to Canada, but still – to order $50 to $100,000 in merchandise at various trade shows. Once I turned 16, I took on more of the management. I drove 80 miles a day to travel between both locations, high school and home. By 18, I was handling almost all of the inventory and finances – finances that were becoming increasingly difficult in the struggling economy.
With my potential college career on the horizon, we opted to liquidate the stores. By the end, I had learned so much I often wished I could go back and do things differently. Those eight years taught me responsibility and all the time alone made me an independent thinker. Especially in the last years, I learned to be resourceful, spend money wisely and operate efficiently. These foundations helped me use my time in college to become more well rounded, both in and outside the classroom.
University of everything
I started at the University of Wisconsin-Madison in fall 2006 with a vague desire to pursue pharmacy, or perhaps become a doctor. As with most undergraduates, my plan varied considerably year to year. Upon entering the university, I was selected to be one of 15 students to join the Wisconsin International Scholars program. This encouraged me to study Spanish and Russian and develop an interest in world affairs that guides my journey through this world.
After a week of classes, I got a job in the web department at one of campus's two student newspapers. At The Badger Herald, an independent newspaper that published 16,000 issues daily, I had the opportunity to develop many aspects of my professional and personal interests. After just one year, I became the web director. My mission was to lead the newspaper into a new digital era. It was an exciting time, and a scary time. Industry wide, advertising revenue declines made tough cuts and drastic measures the norm. Working with an organization of ever busier students juggling coursework and extra curriculars did not help with resourcing. During my five years with the paper, I dabbled in everything from feature writing and copy editing to photography and advertising design. By the end, I was simultaneously heading the multimedia and web departments – all while maintaining several other positions on campus.
At the end of my sophomore year, I was accepted into a research group in world renowned researcher Hector DeLuca's laboratory. We studied the therapeutic effects of a Vitamin D analogue in mice that were predisposed to Type 1 diabetes. I played an integral role in data management and analysis and helped with study design. I also spent a year in a technical support position where I assisted academic staff and faculty from most of the university's foreign language departments. It was also a great opportunity to interact with people from all over the world right at home.
The five year job
By December 2010, I was ready to graduate with a bachelor's degree of biochemistry. I maintained a connection with the newspaper doing remote consulting after moving back to Milwaukee for a while.
I decided on a whim to postpone my career and go to Buenos Aires for a month to visit someone I met on Facebook. It would be my fourth country and second continent, so I was excited! Days before my departure, I learned I could no longer stay with him, but that did not stop me. I made many friends and stayed in several cities during those weeks. My Spanish was not great, but I continued learning and got by just fine.
Once home, I took an employment offer to web development for a Denver enterprise publishing support company, 601am. I got the chance to make a living while staying close to family for another year before my big move to San Francisco. I also bought a six week old puppy, Vera, to keep me company.
A year later, I got rid of most of my things and planned to take what I could in my small Saab to California. A month before my lease was up and after some research, I opted to sell the car and drive a rental instead. The day came and I embarked on the 36 hour drive, making just one stop overnight in Denver to visit my coworkers. Vera and I arrived in glorious San Francisco the first day of May 2012. She couldn't have been happier!
Once settled, I began training for the San Francisco Marathon, which was in two months. My mom and brother Tim flew out to compete as well, and that was the beginning of a long string of marathons and ultras for all of us. This and my job's flexibility in general are the reasons I didn't immediately get a new job in the Bay Area, but I have no regrets.
Over the next year, I made friends, went camping and enjoyed the city. I also spent a month in Australia to visit a Twitter friend, and I went to Spain and France with my mom to visit Tim, who was studying in Madrid. Traveling was starting to become a passion, causing further conflict every time I contemplated a new job that would likely tie my down.
In summer 2013, I went on an entirely different kind of journey. I made my first trip to Burning Man with some close friends. It was an eye opening voyage across space and in to the soul, and absolutely the best experience of my life up till that point. Despite the breakthroughs, I knew there was much more I needed to do and learn. I promised myself I would go the next year, and probably for many years to come.
Life in San Francisco was great, and I loved my friends, but after another year, I felt a calling to see more and step up my career. I decided to move to Tokyo to work for Six Apart as a product manager for Movable Type, the blogging software I used at the Herald and then at 601am. I also snuck in a trip to Thailand before leaving. The first six months in Japan passed incredibly quickly, but I did manage to make some friends, go out a few times and even add a few countries to my travels: China, South Korea and Vietnam.
Though it was originally planned I would cease doing client work after a transition period, things got complicated when Six Apart bought 601am mid 2014. During most of the year in Tokyo, I had little idea how long I would remain, but due to the decline of the Yen and other factors, it was agreed I would transfer back to the United States in early 2016. I suddenly wished I started studying Japanese earlier and realized there was so much I still wanted to do.
My relationships with Tokyo and with my Japanese roommate culminated chaotically and in pieces, but I was mostly out of there by February. I planned to keep working for Six Apart's American unit, but the parent company changed course and shuttered all our U.S. operations. 601am escaped, and I agreed to rejoin in a new product engineering role while advising on some client projects.
I also booked a six month trip circumnavigating the world, during which I visited about 20 countries while working full time. I'm glad I at least traveled, for my work did not transition as planned.
Not surprisingly, I was slammed with client work while management looked for help. As the year wore on and only one hire was made, I knew I would not get to focus on products any time soon. Come December, my major projects had wrapped up, but new client work loomed. The promise of developing products – the reason I stuck with the company – again receded beyond the horizon.
After a particularly bad 85 hour work week, I flew to Milwaukee for the holidays and initiated discussions to reduce my client load. That was unfruitful, so I finally parted ways. After a few weeks with family, I went back to San Francisco and began planning some new routines to progress on my many personal goals before getting another job – hopefully one I truly love.
The rest is yet to be determined!


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Pilot course endangered by cuts
Pupils taking a Skills for Work course should drop a Standard grade to make room for it, according to new research.
An evaluation of the Skills for Work pilot, published today, finds the first two years of the scheme were broadly successful in raising the status of vocational learning and improving school-college partnerships. Courses also improved students' attitudes and employability prospects.
But, just as the programme is winning praise for motivating young people to prepare for the world of work, secondary heads have expressed fears that school budget cuts could jeopardise its future.
Bill MacGregor, general secretary of the Headteachers' Association of Scotland, warned that many successful Skills for Work courses might not be continued next year, because some schools cannot afford to pay for buses to transport S3-4 pupils to college.
Jeremy Purvis, Scottish Liberal Democrat MSP for Tweeddale, Ettrick and Lauderdale, has raised similar concerns, particularly for schools in rural areas. He told The TESS of one school which planned to raid its Determined to Succeed budget - one of the few areas of funding which has remained ring-fenced under the new concordat between local and central government - in order to pay for buses to take pupils to college. "This is an indication of how heads are having to use different funds to pay for these courses," he said.
The courses, which range from Access to Intermediate 2 level, but do not include an external assessment, cover construction, sport and recreation, early education and childcare, financial services, hairdressing and rural skills. New courses will appear next year, including practical skills about the emergency services and armed forces.
The main strengths of delivering the courses in colleges or at a training provider's premises were the motivating and maturing effect on students. But, the researchers found, this can sometimes lead to a more detached experience for them if their teachers are not aware of the content of courses.
Running courses in schools could get round some of these problems, the report added, but it would mean students missing out on the benefits of attending college. It would also depend on funding being available for purpose-built facilities in schools.
Joint delivery appears to be the best option, as it allows the courses to be more integrated into school timetables and increases teachers' awareness of the content.
Timetabling was one of the biggest problems. Although the report recommends replacing a Standard grade with a Skills for Work course, it warns that this may deter some higher-ability students from doing a vocational course.
"However, the alternative approach of expecting students to complete a Skills for Work course on top of their eight Standard grades further strengthened the perception that they are not equivalent in value to a Standard grade and are just of additional, rather than equal, value," said the report.
"Even though there was virtually no evidence that schools were using Skills for Work courses just for disengaged or problem students, especially in the second year of the pilot, some colleges felt that higher-ability students were often dissuaded from participating in courses," it added.


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Healthy Side Dish Recipes
Potato Latkes (Vegan)
This potato latkes recipe is a classic staple for Chanukkah made vegan! I replaced the eggs altogether with a mixture of ... Read More »
Red Potato Provençal
So simple to throw together and absolutely delightful! The red potatoes just simmer with the fresh tomatoes, onions and ... Read More »
Orange Grilled Cauliflower Steak
If mixing extra virgin olive oil with fresh orange juice and grilling over a hot BBQ qualifies as a recipe then....this ... Read More »
Homemade Barbecue Sauce
My homemade tasty BBQ sauce has a wonderful kick (you can omit the chipotle for younger kids' simpler taste). Of course, ... Read More »
Simply Brussels Sprouts
All this entails is slicing these little sprouts thinly with a food processor (check my little video showing you how ... Read More »
Simply Grilled Pear
You can choose any variety of pears you like for this little recipe, just as long as they are ripe and juicy. Grilling ... Read More »
Simply Grilled Corn
Nothing like sweet fresh corn on the cob for a summer barbecue! This simply grilled corn brings it to another level! It ... Read More »
Béchamel Sauce
Béchamel sauce is a simple white sauce made from a "roux" typically made with butter,white flour and whole milk. Here, I ... Read More »
Simply Spinach Dip
PERFECT for a festive holiday buffet...without the guilt! As I have blogged about before countless times, any excuse ... Read More »


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restrictive injunctionnoun [ C ]uk us
› LAW a formal statement by a court of law saying that someone must not do something:
The company is fighting to have the restrictive injunction lifted.
(Definition of "restrictive injunction" from the Cambridge Business English Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)
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friendly and pleasant to be with


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Alfred Hitchcock and The Three Investigators in the Mystery Of The Green Ghost", text by Robert Arthur with illustrations by Harry Kane, published by Random House, copyright 1965. This is the fourth in the Alfred Hitchcock juvenile detective book series.
"I do not want to alarm anyone, but I feel it is my duty to warn you that in the pages ahead you will meet, as the title of this book suggests, a green ghost".
Good condition with no rips, tears, or writing. The cover has light wear to the edge, corners and spine. This is a hard cover book with 182 pages. Size 8-1/2" long by 5-3/4" wide.
Unique Finds
Welcome to our shop filled with a variety of collectibles and vintage treasures! See "Terms of Sale" for our layaway plan.


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Local Missouri Sportscaster Takes Rapid Refill To An 'Elite' Level
Local Missouri Sportscaster Takes Rapid Refill To An 'Elite' Level
2015-07-02 at 11:58:38 am #42896
Local Missouri Sportscaster Takes Rapid Refill To An 'Elite' Level
By CHRIS ROUSH.
Anyone who has ever listened to a Northwest Missouri State Bearcat basketball or football game on the radio has heard Matt Gaarder. When Gaarder graduated from Northwest, he thought that sports broadcasting was his dream job. He received his first job at KUTT in Fairbury, Nebraska doing play-by-play for high school sports and Doane College.
"I had done radio in high school and my dad had a little bit of a radio background," Gaarder said. "I enjoyed sports and that's probably why I did that in college. It probably wasn't until after college that I thought it would be fun to own a business."
Matt Gaarder.
After spending two years in Fairbury, Gaarder returned to Maryville in 1999 and worked at Nodaway Broadcasting as the News and Sports Director. During this time, Gaarder's itch to become an entrepreneur shifted into high gear.
"I was looking online for refill equipment to refill my own ink cartridges," Gaarder said. "I stumbled upon Rapid Refill and kind of looked into them. They were a franchise and I had always wanted to own a business. I just never knew what it was going to be."
The possibility of owning a Rapid Refill intrigued Gaarder and he took a trip to the corporate headquarters in Minnesota. After visiting with corporate executives and learning the business model of Rapid Refill, Gaarder realized this was it.
"Rapid Refill is something that Maryville didn't have," Gaarder said. "I thought it would work well and we were the smallest market of any of the Rapid Refills."
Gaarder's dream of owning a business came true in 2010 when he, along with his wife, Sherry, opened his Rapid Refill branch in Maryville. The Gaarders owned the business for three years while he still worked at Nodaway Broadcasting until the business was up and running. However, just like any other small business owner, Gaarder ran into a few obstacles early on.
"I think the biggest obstacle in the remanufactured ink business is that there's a lot of bad quality refills out there," Gaarder said. "People had run into that and the difference with us is that our suppliers are thoroughly tested on a constant basis to make sure their product is good quality. That was the biggest hurdle, people didn't trust refilled ink cartridges and I understood that."
With just around 12,000 people living in Maryville, the idea of a refill ink cartridge business can sound a bit odd. But Gaarder said when he started the business the opportunities presented themselves
"When you think of the time in 2010, the economy was tough, really tough, it's not a ton better now, but it was at a low point then," Gaarder said. "Most of the time you would think that starting a business during a bad economy would be a bad idea. However, when you talk about saving businesses 40 or 50 percent on something they spend money on, it's a viable business opportunity."
It has been five years since the first Rapid Refill store opened down by Hy-Vee in June 2010 and a lot has changed. Gaarder moved the business uptown next to The Pub and Benelli's Pizzeria where it has been since 2013. Also in 2013, Gaarder parted ways with Nodaway Broadcasting and put a lot more of his focus on Rapid Refill.
"There was a study done for the city probably a year or two before we moved," Gaarder said. "One of the things it did was study downtown and one thing the study showed was an office supply store would fit well in not only any downtown, but especially Maryville's downtown. I took that information for what it was worth and I thought well we're an office supply store, let's give it a shot."
Gaarder had accomplished his goal of running his own business, he owned the building Rapid Refill is in and was still able to do sports broadcasting, but another opportunity then presented itself.
"Last year, Rapid Refill, the overall franchise, discussed wanting the locations to get into printing services," Gaarder said. "Some of the locations had been doing that and had success with it. With me being downtown and knowing that Rod Couts was over at Accent Printing and Advertising, I didn't really want to compete with him. He's been around for years. It would've been hard for me to compete and it's already here."
After a while, Gaarder found out that Couts was close to retirement and was hoping that Couts would think of him when he got to that point.
Gaarder's luck continued because six months ago Gaarder received the opportunity to buy out of the Rapid Refill franchise. With the business now being completely independent, Gaarder's ability to expand was in reach.
"Rod approached me and asked me what I thought about taking on the printing, copying and the shipping side of his operation," Gaarder said. "I said 'That's exactly what I was hoping to hear someday.' We started working on it and hammered out all of the details."
As of Monday, Gaarder's Rapid Refill has expanded into the multifaceted business, Rapid Elite. The newly-named business acquired Xpress Solutions, the packing and shipping division of Accent. The shipping services will include UPS and FedEx and the sale of boxes, tape and packaging materials.
Rapid Elite will now offer ink supplies, printing, copying and shipping opportunities to its customers. Accent Printing & Advertising will now become Accent Advertising & Signs.
Gaarder's dream of owning his own business came true five years ago, but the dream is far from over. He owns his own business and has had the opportunity to expand the business and help downtown Maryville grow.
"Everyday, you're always nervously excited about the day," Gaarder said. "You're nervously excited about the day, it's adventure. It's a blast and I get to work with a lot more people, networking with business owners and customers that come into the store. A two-minute transaction turns into a 20 minute (conversation) about the Bearcats. So the interaction with the customers is huge and I feel that sense of freedom (every) entrepreneur wants. It's not easy, but it's enjoyable."
Gaarder continues to work for the Bearcat Radio Network, KXCV-KRNW, and Northwest Athletics for play-by-play and color commentary for football and basketball games, but he has realized that sports broadcasting was always more of a hobby for him.
"I don't think when we have to do games or the coaches show that this is work, it's something fun," Gaarder said. "What do people do on the weekends when they are working, they go to Bearcat games. I've always joked with people that I want to make sure I keep doing the Bearcat games because then Sherry can't tell me I can't go to the game for some reason. I don't think she ever would, but it's always been the running joke."
When Gaarder started his business, he had doubt, just like any other small business owner has. However, he was given some helpful advice. He was told that if you can make it past your first three years, your chances of success increase by 50 percent. If he made it to five years, his chances of success would increase again and he's hit that five-year milestone.
Gaarder always goes back to his original idea when he opened the store back in 2010, and the same idea rings true today even with the new shipping and copying sections of Rapid Elite.
"I've always told my sales people just get a cartridge in the printer," Gaarder said. "Let people see our cartridges are the same, they act the same. Once we were able to build that trust and people saw our product was different than what you order off the Internet. We gained people's trust."


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Not much more to say about this image than the title. This is from a small collection of photos of WW1 soldiers - always poignant. I thought there was something rather attractive about these two. [click the image to enlarge]
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Two Handsome Soldiers
1 comment:
- Vintagemaison said...
I have one of two rather debonair French soldiers doing lunch, pouring wine into tin mugs. I wonder if they survived the War.
- 6:57 am
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The UK government has just put the taxpayer on risk for £3tn of banking assets, some of them of very dubious quality, by buying controlling shareholdings in RBS and Lloyds. This is on top of the £700bn of public debt built up, on top of the large unfunded pensions liabilities (maybe another £1tn and growing rapidly), and on top of the PFI/PPP/Network Rail/Northern Rock/Bradford & Bingley obligations. This is far too much risk for the government to run comfortably. Several times our annual national income of £1.4tn, and many times our annual tax revenue is now at taxpayer risk. If we lose less than 4% on the two big banks assets, we have lost the entire health service budget for a whole year.
Now the chancellor is talking about a joint EU rescue of the eastern European countries that have borrowed too much, often in foreign currencies, and have large balance of payments deficits. Is there no limit, in his view, to the credit-worthiness of the UK state? Is there no limit, which he should observe, for how much the UK taxpayer must stand behind? His initial talk is of new loans to the eastern countries, but this could easily slide into guarantees, subsidies, favourable terms and all the rest – just as it has done for the major banks that are now state pensioners.
The big pressures within the Euro zone are unfortunate. Italy, Greece, Spain, Ireland and Portugal are all finding it difficult to stay comfortably in the zone, as, for them, the currency is too high. Some are having to pay a lot more for their state borrowings than Germany or France, borrowing in the same currency. It shows the folly of rushing to Euro membership before all these economies had converged. It also shows the great wisdom of keeping the UK out of the Euro, for we would by now have done damage to our national interest, given the way the UK economy and banking system has developed.
I want my neighbours to be prosperous, and I wish them well with their single currency. It is in our interests that the continental Euro is a success. That means we must hope Germany and France do go to the rescue of the weaker members of the zone, and that the zone as a whole assists the eastern countries that have an important economic relationship with Germany.
The UK does not have the financial strength to do so, and, outside the Euro, has different problems and issues to tackle. Euroland is going to find out that you do need more centralised government and a system for making transfer payments within a single currency zone, to help those parts of the zone that cannot trade successfully at the common exchange rate. The bigger the zone, and the more diverse the countries in it, the dearer such a policy becomes and the more likely is a break-up.
So, thank heavens we are not in it, causing such pressures, and thank heavens we do not need to pay for the subsidies for the weaker members.