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Did we cause our loved one to drink?
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The second of six "Introduction of Al-Anon Meeting" podcasts: Did we cause our loved one to drink? If we are not the ones with the drinking problem, why are we talking about our powerlessness over alcohol? Can we control our loved one's drinking? Can we cure our loved one's drinking problem?
This is a series of six Al-Anon Family Group podcasts, especially recorded to introduce you to Al-Anon meetings.
75 comments
75 comments on "Did we cause our loved one to drink?"
I have just found al- anon, as directed by a wonderful marriage counselor. I only wish it could have been many years ago. I had a maternal grandfather who was an alcoholic. Also, both of my dads brothers became alcoholics. Social drinking was considered socially acceptable by much of my family. Watching my mother worry about her single father…and riding many hours with her to go rescue my grandfather from crawling under an 18 wheeler to go to sleep…or staying awake all night before school, as she struggled with trying to keep him from leaving in the middle of the night, in his confused drunken state…and if he wasn't leaving, he may sing all night long, or shout obscenities to the invisible people of his past. It was an awful feeling to hold my breath when he came near to hug me…not sure if it was the liquor or urine that was more repulsive. There were memories of his sober years that I am thankful for. Strangely enough, I knew that I feared the thought of alcohol controlling me…and vowed to restrain myself. It was just the beginning though. I married first to a husband who would drink, b sober a few months, drink again and tell me I was no fun. I became convinced I was to blame for his extramarital, promiscuous behavior…but stayed in that relationship over 4 years. Forward to the next involvement with alcoholism, and the abusive behaviors so common to the illness. I was determined to raise our two boys in a healthy environment…by now trust was an even bigger issue. The rejection made me grateful that my future husband would consider an automatic family. My husband is a very gifted, but hurting,man. The son of a recovered alcoholic father, and an alcoholic mother who left when he was at the tender age of four…she was never to b seen again for over 30 years. Believing this man to b an occasional drinker, I still failed to face the truth. My own sweet mother had been first thru an abusive, then an alcoholic marriage. She later revealed to me that my father had been a drinker also (when she married him,)but diabetes kept him from joining his brothers… allowing my grandma one sober son. Two years into the dating relationship with my husband, I should have seen the writing on the wall, so to speak. The wonderful feeling of spending time with this gifted, attractive, man melted my heart of hearts. There were many painful times ahead—as his secrets, and self destructive habits spilled over into all of our lives. I learned that his walking to work wasn't just for health purposes, or thoughtful management. Ignorant young women can be lulled to sleep by the charms of a handsome man…who asks for a ride. He prided himself that his lies about alcohol would go un-noticed…as he had "just one" if asked. The distance between us grew as fast as the five children we raised. The drinking stopped for the most part with my husband…but addictive behaviors remained. We went to church all those years…but even after years of sober life, this disease calls us to face the truth. The unhealthy behavior patterns have given us three children who are challenged by either drug or alcohol addictions, or both. The bitter feelings, resentment, blame, power struggles, distrust and loneliness have been a challenge. I was sad that there is not an al-anon group for many counties away from our area. When I read the words…don't talk, don't trust, don't feel…I knew that was the message our children had received. I can not change or save anyone from themselves. I have no power over all of the anger, rages or choices. I am learning how to stop taking blame and draw boundaries for myself. It is lonely separated from the man I love…but not as lonely as it was inside the marriage, not facing the truth. I pray for all these tender hurting souls…and thank God for guiding me here.
What Lily wrote is what I would write, exactly. I have moved past the point of trying to control the situation and am now on the divorce fence. Should I do it or not. I have found through all this, I'm not as attracted to him as I once was and I don't respect him like I used to. I'm wondering if these feelings come back or are lost forever.
In reading this title, Did We Cause Our Loved Ones To Drink?, I realized that question never resonates with me. I always felt that I was not the cause of someone's drinking. Alcoholics and abusive people would like anyone to be the target and blame for drinking. I have been that target. When accused of causing the drinking, I will question the situation, review the circumstances leading to the accusation and I always arrive at the same conclusion: We had a disagreement, but that is not the reason to get fall-down drunk, or We were at a party, or We went to a sports bar to watch football… or however the initial statement begins, but that is not the reason for becoming drunk.
Many people experience life without alcohol addiction. So, it is the alcoholic's coping skills, life experiences, genetic predisposition, or some other issue that is at the root of the alcoholism, not me. It gives me great relief to hold the alcoholic accountable for his/her "choice" to consume alcohol and enter the stages of alcoholism.
My husband of 26 years has been a drinker since I met him. I have done the, "If ya can't beat him, join him." I have pleaded, argued, cried and left too many times to count. I have gotten to the point of just shutting down and not talking to him when he drinks. This is a very lonely life I have chosen to lead.
My kids have moved out and we live together in a 4 bedroom house. We barely talk. Most of the time he is mad at me for whatever he finds at the time. He says he drinks because I don't clean the house, make dinner, come home from work on time, talk about my hobby too much, or any other excuse he has for the day.
I find myself sick to my stomach at the smell of the house and him when he drinks. I know I can't fix him, change him or make him better. He has to do that for himself. I just want to fix me, change me & make me feel better. How does one do this and stay with the one person they love so much because when it's good it is so good. It's like waiting for the reward all the time.
I love the man I married many years ago, the man that could make me feel secure, loved , beautiful in more ways than I could imagine. How does one separate that, decide to let that go, stop looking for that, and move on and away from this man who has come in his place, a man who finds nothing good in me, a man who resents me, says I am fat and ugly, stupid and no good, selfish and on and on, while slurring his words, falling down, staggering around and finally, thankfully, passing out.
How do you move on? One moment, one day at a time. Looking at what you can do to help keep your head above the water and breathe. I try not to feel trapped in this lonely life I so willingly have accepted and made for myself. I want out. I want to change the rules. I want to find happiness. I am seeking the light and can't seem to see it yet, but I will I have faith in me and I will find it.
I am so happy I found this site, I can relate to almost all of these stories, especially Libby's. I just did what she does. I left the family room because my husband just woke up from a nap and grabbed for his glass to get another drink again!!
My husband drives me to work in the morning and picks me up after work. He is retired. He must start drinking about 1:00 pm because when he picks me up at 2:30 pm I can smell alcohol on him. He is not really drunk at this point, but on his way. When we get home he automatically pours himself a drink and doesn't stop until after we have supper. 4:30pm until he is really argumentative and passes out on the sofa, which is approximately 6:00 pm. He sleeps there every night because he gets up about 11:00 pm and watches TV all night (not drinking alcohol at his point). He falls a sleep about 3:00 am and then I get up at 4:30 to get ready for work and then he gets up at 5:00 am to drive me to work. Then the day starts all over again.
We have been married for 38 years. I am 57 and he is 60 years of age, no children, just a dog. I am trying to cope with the alcoholism as a disease, which I do know it is. I cannot attend an Al-Anon meeting because I work and I do not drive. I could take a bus but the service is not that great where I live, so this sight is really a help to me. Thanks so much!
My husband has a drinking problem. His mother had a drinking problem. His brother died from an overdose. His youngest brother has fetal alcohol syndrome. He does have one more brother, but I do not believe he deals with any addictions.
We have been married for 13 years and together for 17. We have two young children together. He has always been a drinker, but really became worse once we married. He is very successful in his career, stays in good shape and is very attractive. I do not know if many casual friends would ever guess him to have an issue with drinking. Living with him has been like one very long roller coaster ride. He has his good moments, but he really has his bad ones too.
I wanted to leave several years ago, but I did not want to break up my family. Back then, I really thought I could fix it. I felt strong. The more his issues bothered me, the more I worked on trying to take care of me and my two children. As of late, I feel really broken. I have finally let this disease take me.
My children are old enough to start asking questions. If they see their father drink, they do not want to drive with him. They tell me they do not like the way he acts and why is he so moody? I am done trying to protect him from his children. I have started giving them insight. They are probably still too youg to understand.
He has told me, I do not know how many times, he would get help. About two weeks ago, he told me he knew he needed help and he needed to take some time to try and like himself before he could talk to a doctor. Same old song and dance.
Yesterday I yelled at him for a while. I believe all of my anger from the past years of our marriage came crashing down. Now he is mad at me for telling him how bad he is and that he has affected the children. How selfish he is with his drinking, and I believe he loves us the best he is able. I told him if he had to choose between us or a bottle of wine that he would choose the wine. I know it and it hurts. I am damaged goods.
My children do not understand what is going on. My marriage is ending. It is so sad. I have lost the battle. It hurts to have your dreams crushed. He was supposed to be my forever. I cannot take it anymore. My children and I deserve better than this.
Just reading some of these comments makes me realise I'm not on my own, and the feelings I have are not unique to me and I'm not going mad!
My partner binge drinks and sometimes doesn't come home. On the occasions that he does come home, he is verbally abusive, pees on the floor etc. I've already had to call an ambulance as he fell off the top flight of steps to our door and cracked his head open, not to mention the broken collar bone he got after falling over after a drinking session 3 weeks earlier.
I feel angry, but mostly so sad as it is heart-breaking to watch someone you love drinking themselves into oblivion. I don't know what else I can do for him, but I know now especially after reading some of the above that I need to look after me and I hope to start by visiting a meeting x x
Thank you for sharing your experiences and giving me the courage to seek the help I need.
It is heartbreaking to accept that I cannot help my only daughter stop drinking; I have devoted my life to helping people solve their problems and always thought I was pretty good at it, and now it has become evident those skills are useless as this disease can only be conquered by my daughter's actions and resolve.
I grew up with an abusive and alcoholic father and having endured both physical and emotional abuse, I vowed that I would not become like him, nor would I become involved with anyone with a drinking problem. I never imagined that I would again battle the alcohol demons at home and yet, here I am trying to pull myself together as my daughter continues to self-destruct.
I must focus on learning things that will help me to cope with her disease, while at the same time find the peace that I desperately need.
PS, we don't live together anymore, so he's not hurting me physically, but he's still up to his old ways and has not gone to rehab.
I am choosing to leave him behind because there's nothing I can do for him anymore. It's tough, but I have to, and I have to remind myself every day.
He chooses to not get help. He may not choose to be an addict, but he chooses to not get help. He chooses to not get help and treat everyone that loves him, very badly.
Today. I made the committment to accept that it's his life to save and he's the only one who can.
He had every excuse to drink. If I griped at him because he got drunk and hit me a night or two before, that gave him an excuse. My birthday was two weeks after the birth of our first child, my parents had come down and the day they were leaving I went to Walmart. I got groceries and I put the groceries away and accidently put the 5 pound block of ground beef in the freezer because I was spending time with them {It was important to me because I was working on a healthy relationship with my family}.
That night after they left he'd been drinking already and wanted, I forget what to eat with the hamburger meat, even though there were other groceries. He threw a fit, called me stupid in every way he could, hit me with the 5 pound block of meat and proceeded to go get more beer because of my stupidity.
I was thinking about my husband's drinking all the time–when I was at work, home, when I was with him or not with him. My thoughts are still focused on "what's he doing" much of the time, but not all the time.
I was going crazy thinking about this all the time. I realize this is part of my sickness. I was obsessed. I imagined him "cheating" on me with another woman. Maybe because that would be easier to fight. I realized I couldn't fight alcoholism, but I could find this other "woman" and DO something. After checking phones, emails, texts, every website he had been to for months–nothing. I had to admit the other woman was in the can. Or the disease. I've known this for 10 years. I also realized I had a problem. I'm sick and need help.
In the last few weeks I have started to coach myself by saying, " What he does is on him." I can't control him; I can't control him; I can't control him. I've tried. I tried yelling, crying, threatening, sex, leaving, embarrassment, all the usual.
I am not focused on worrying about if he will: lose his liscense; kill someone driving drunk; lose his job; wreck and die driving drunk on his motorcycle. On and on and on–but not all the time.
I want to stop punishing myself, blaming myself, secluding myself. I want to stop verbally abusing him and others around me. I want to be a nice person and happy.
I am sick and need help. I've never said that before.
Wow. After reading the majority of these posts, I have seen so many instances of my own life, and I haven't even listened to the podcast yet.
My husband and I have been together for 6 years, and just last week celebrated our first anniversary. I woke up that morning to him continuing his binge from the night before. I've almost come to the stage where I just don't care anymore. I mean, I love him with all my heart, that's why I married him, but like so many of you, I didn't marry the disease.
At times I feel that my husband is in denial of his alcoholism because he holds a respectable job, has a comfortable relationship, nice house and car, loving wife, etc. I know you've heard it all before. He feels that his drinking doesn't impede on his life (it does), doesn't affect his work (it does) and is not the crux of our relationship dilemmas (it is). Yet, he admits that he has a problem! So why not get help?
I have tried everything too. Emptying bottles, collecting a stash of his empties to try and embarrass him with the truth, yelling, crying, threatening to leave. The list goes on.
Then I read about the three C's. This is something that I know I will carry with me while I change the energy I have been putting into convincing my husband to get help into energy to help myself (a good friend calls this "good selfish"). I'm going to be "good selfish" in getting the help I need to heal myself, and hope that my husband does the same.
Thank you, everyone, for sharing your stories and providing anecdotes that have and will continue to help others, including me. I wish you all the very best. xx
I am also married to someone who drinks. I was also abusing alcohol and now have stopped. It has been 6 months and every day I am struggling. The anxiety and depression I have now from the drinking is almost unbearable. Last night he drank and then drove home from his business. I have asked him before to not drive after even having just 1 glass of wine. I don't even know how much he drank because I think he lied to me about that too.
We are in marriage counseling, but I am even afraid to do be there with him. I am afraid of him and the anger he exhibits when he is drunk. Once he pushed me very hard on the ground and I hit my head and had bruises and a sprained wrist.
I will try to work on the 3 C's today and try to let go. But when do I say I need to leave him and move on? Why can't I explain to him that being around people who are drinking a lot right now is really hard on me and I am desperately trying to stay on the right track and not drink.
Thank you for letting me say me peace here – this is the first time I have found this group. I just wish I had a friend nearby that would support me, but I guess that is what a sponsor is for. I will try to find a meeting and move in that direction.
Tonight I'm hearing my husband snore loudly in the bedroom, as he passed out about 6:30 p.m. I've been married to him for just a few years and It's getting worse. As you all know, alcoholic lie extremely well regarding their drinking. I could tell within 5 seconds he had been drinking. Why do I ask him…it does absolutely no good…just riles me up.
I've found it in his briefcase, basement and all the other stuff. The water bottle filled with Vodka on our vacation…was the best. Al-anon is so right…we can do nothing to control it…so I might as well not even look for the bottles. When am I going to learn?
As above, I've been angry, I separated from him for six months, I've tried bargaining…that I will drink a glass of wine with him at a nice dinner, if he promises not to "sneak." Well, now he gets the glass of wine at a dinner, and then he is also sneaking. I've been attending Al-anon meetings for over a year, and he also goes to AA meetings…(sometimes sneaking drinks after the meetings.) He goes quite often…because he likes all the people there…but he will lie at the meetings.
He's a charmer, "everyone likes him" type of guy, and very social. He goes to the meetings and lies (that he's been sober..he even told me this.) He lies to his sponsor. I've asked him if he's told him that he has a glass of wine with me. He said, "No, i just can't." I called the sponsor tonight and told him about his social drinking, sneaking, and about how he had been lying to him for over five months about his sobriety. I then handed my husband the phone to tell him. Another probably "NO" that I shouldn't have done, but I did.
I'm really at the point, "Would my life be better without him? I'm even asking, do I want to put up with this disease? (Yes, that is making me feel terrible. I"ve been looking up divorce lawyers tonight also.) I do know that I need to calm down and not overreact, but I'm seeing a night alone without a man slurring his words, as so nice.
This is a good place to vent. Good luck to all of you. We all know each other's pain. Someday, I hope I'll recover myself. I just can't seem to let go of my own emotional feelings when I see him drunk.
I first attended an Al-Anon meeting in July of this year when my husband finished 28 days of residential treatment. I felt very skeptical, scared, and angry as to why I should be going to these meetings as there was nothing wrong with me, sure it was my husband who had the problem. Well, since then I am finding out just how sick I am and have been for so many years.
I have started to realize that I have very strong feelings–anger, resentment, loneliness, pain, but I now see it is ok to have all these emotions. It is how I deal with them that is important. Just today loneliness came up for me. I would have been annoyed with myself before for having such self-pity for myself, but today I felt it, cried, told myself that it was perfectly ok for me to feel this feeling, but then I wrote all the reasons why today I needn't feel this feeling.
My Al-Anon friends are there for me. I have taken up a new hobby (dancing). I have more friends there, and I was able to tell my husband how I felt and that it was ok for me to feel lonely but that now I had ways of dealing with it.
I thank my Higher Power for helping me with this situation today, and I hand over my alcoholic husband, my son & daughter to him every day, and myself. In doing so, I ask him to be with me so I will do his will, as I now know without him my life would be definitely unmanageable. I know without my weekly meeting I would not be as well as I am. My story seems so less important than others' in the room, but I must tell it as honestly as I see it, and in doing so I can move on. Thank you. "One day at a time" and the Serenity Prayer are my life lines, together with my meetings–just for today.
Hello. My name is StageLeft and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 13 1/2 years. I never went to treatment. I just couldn't do it anymore, because one of us had to be in control. God gave me the power and strength to resist the temptation and I have relied on Him solely, as I am powerless over this addiction.
My husband entered treatment two weeks ago this coming Monday.
He lives in a 3/4 house in our town, where he has to work and pay rent, attend counseling, classes about his addiction, and AA meetings.
We are at odds. Having been married for 21 1/2 years and parenting 5 children, mostly together until the past few years, I feel he should go fully in-patient and he wants out-patient. He agreed to in-patient at first, but after seeing that they take your freedoms (like a cell phone and telling you when and where to be and at what time), he says absolutely no to in-patient.
I am struggling to find balance. I want him to be in a program, and I feel him living at the 3/4 house and working isn't ideal since he has tried all these years to quit over and over again, while living in a home with family and working and hitting the same aluminum can over and over. I don't want him at home with us, either, because I feel that if he does slip again at this point that we will have to suffer through yet another episode of his wallowing.
There is so much he has done, and now that I can look back at it all, I'm angry and don't want him around. He feels the tension and says he should leave for good, then. I don't want him to leave for good, just to give me time. I asked him to go to marriage counseling with me at some point and he doesn't see the point. Yet, he wants me to make the decision to be there when he's done with his treatment, right now–or forget it. It's a power issue, in my mind. He's trying to manipulate the situation, yet again. It's also a result of faulty thinking from being under the influence of his addiction for so long. He has fallen into a terrible line of thinking that I won't buy into and it's hard for him to understand. He is very extreme in his thinking, which is very common from what I can tell. I told him he needs to work on his sobriety (2 weeks now!) and soon we can seek counseling as well, so we can try to mend what has happened and move forward.
A few years ago I learned the three C's in my first and only Al-Anon meeting. Since that day, I have had more control over how I think about his disease. I let him have power over what he did and no longer tried to make him change. I never went back, though, to another meeting because it caused a lot of contention between him and me. He accused me of having a boyfriend or conspiring to leave him and telling our business to others.
I feel like I am strong enough to withstand anything at this point. The things we have been through have been horrific over the years. Nobody in their right mind would have stayed. I stayed because when things were good, they were very good. He is a great man and God has great things in store for him, should he decide to lay down his life and rely upon the arm of God. I know his potential is awesome. I want him in my life, sober. I am willing to stay and see if things can work out, without the alcohol, and with him having learned and seeking to educate himself as to why he is powerless over this disease.
I am going to my second Al-Anon meeting this Tuesday. I heard it is small. That is okay with me. I met a lady who attends, when I went to an AA meeting with my husband the other night. Frankly, I felt very in sync with her. She is also an alcoholic. I feel like this is a new start.
Monday I went to seek counseling for myself again for my depression and asked if we could all come as a family. The therapist said that would be good. I am feeling like I am putting things in order. I have to. I want to live a good life from this day forward. 21 years has gone by so fast. It could have been so different.
Hi. Every one of your stories has touched me in a very personal way, except for one thing. My husband was an alcoholic and died because of this horrible disease. He was only 41 yrs old. We were together for 26 yrs. He was the best person ever. He was kind, sensitive, loving, caring, funny and loved me with all of his heart. I know that .
But he had a problem and knew it, but never had the courage to seek help. He did not get drunk – ever, but he drank a lot every day for the last 20 yrs. He knew that it was catching up with him but thought that he was young enough and had time to change his ways. It was too late. His body had enough.
I miss him so much. We had so many great times. But I do not miss seeing him hurt himself, nor do I miss seeing him tortured by this disease. I cannot help but feel tremendous guilt for not being able to help him overcome this demon. I would have done anything for him and he would do anything for me – except stop drinking. He couldn't. He was scared – of what I do not understand. I really need to accept the fact that it was not my fault, but it is hard. I feel like I failed my best friend.
I hit my rock bottom about 4 weeks ago. I was so scared I was going to have to bury my husband. We have two very precious little girls who mean the world to both of us. A friend of mine suggested I come to this website because I cannot attend the meetings but at least I can find some peace of mind listening to the podcasts. I am struggling with the 3 C's because even though I know I didn't cause and I cannot control and I cannot heal his disease, I cannot help but be very angered over this.
I am trying to be better and make better choices for myself and our children. I do not go off on him like I used to when I find empty water bottles that smell like beer in his lunch bag for work. Instead I take the debit card away from him that is solely in my name anyway. I figure that is something I can control. He gets mad at me when I do that. He says he feels like a child and maybe he is right. In my mind, though, that is something I can control because the bank account along with the debit card is only in my name and my name alone. I love my husband dearly and it's very hard to see him go to this place that I don't recognize.
I have been doing a lot of praying and reaching to God for the answers and for the strength to get through the day. Some family members think I should leave him, but they don't understand. I married him in sickness and in health, and that is what this is–a sickness. I mean, should a woman leave her husband if he had cancer or heart disease? I appreciate these podcasts so I can find some peace, and maybe slowly but surely and by the grace of God I will get me back again. I just hope one day my husband joins me.
I don't know why I chose to write. I have read most of the comments and see a little of myself in each. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have always prided myself at being able to figure things out and help others.
My partner is 48 years old. He is a wonderful man. He is the first man I have been with that I have truly felt loved me. I could go on; he is funny, sensitive. handsome, hardworking and caring. He is also an alcoholic. Last October, after a week long binge and many years of excessive drinking, he ended up in the hospital with liver problems. He has been diagnosed with mild chirrosis. Only recently has all of his blood work returned to normal.
For the past seven months, he did not totally quit but drank much less then before. However, when he got the blood work back two weeks ago, I think he saw this as a green light to drink again. I have threatened to leave because I can't watch him die. He says he will stop because he can't live without me, but every time he says he will, usually in the morning, by later in the day he is sneaking beer.
He won't do anything to help himself. Only went to one AA meeting. Won't see a counselor. In my head I know I don't cause him to drink. I guess I do feel like I can make/help him stop, although as I re-read this it is apparent I can't. The only time we fight is over his drinking. I know I need to talk to someone and learn more about all of this. I am just very scared.
My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years, and while he has always been a heavy drinker, it's only been in the last two years that it's gotten out of hand, and he's become a sloppy drunk. He driinks every day, sometimes starting at 8:00 AM. I've blamed myself because he says I've never given him what he needs, sexually. We went to a marriage counselor 16 years ago, and he told her that he ate and drank compulsively because of me. I try, but it seems like he's only happy when I'm doing something that I find really repugnant. I'm an educated woman with a career that supports us, and I don't know why I let him play me like this. I still love him, but I'm really unhappy. When he's sober, he's my best friend, but that part of him has almost disappeared. Now, when he's drunk, I just go to another room and get away from him. Am I doing the right thing?
I am grateful for the Al-Anon philosophy and all of the sharings I have read.
I have learned that if I want to avoid any worry that new friends (male and female) might be alcoholics, I simply choose to not make friends with people who drink, who talk about going to the bars, who keep considerable amounts of liquor at home, for whom the consumption of alcohol is part of the web of their daily life. I have not one friend who drinks particularly; I only attend social events where alcohol is not the raison d'etre for the party; if I meet people who are inebriated, I do not get into lengthy conversations, etc.
I know it sounds impossible, but it is what I do. I can safely say I would not dream of hanging out with any kind of crowd, no matter how small my social life is, if they are always interested more in drinking than in living a more well-rounded life.
I have been married to a man for 6.5 years now who is a problem drinker. While he doesn't get drunk "every" night he will go on a binge to the point where he is obnoxious. I have asked him to get help, he says he doesn't have a problem. On occasion his mother has offered him a drink while he has been over visiting her, this despite me telling her about the problem I am having with him drinking, not to mention drinking and driving. That has fallen on deaf ears.
People say go to Al-Anon. That is fine and not meaning to put this program down as I have heard wonderful things, on the other hand how does it stop his obnoxious behaviour, his drinking and driving? I can understand learning what this disease is all about, how I'm not responsible for the drinking and what to do or not do when he drinks but in the meantime he carries on with the obnoxious behaviour and nothing changes there. What kind of life is that? What about my son seeing this bad behaviour? I can't see attending meetings for the rest of my life while he continues to be in the house drunk half the time and acting obnoxious.
Last week my husband got a DUI. For the past three years I have hidden my husband's addiction. We have two small children and I am very scared. I am so angry because I tried stopping him from drinking. He now realizes that he has a problem and he has already started to go to AA meetings. It is going to be a long road ahead of court fees, working through our relationship as husband and wife, and loss of his driver's liscence. I want to help and I know that this is a disease and it is not my fault. I am tired of playing the blame game and protecting him. I love him but I did not cause this. Yes, this is going to be a very costly money mistake but I believe that it will draw our relationship to a higher level.
Over the past 5 or 6 years I believe my husband has developed a drinking problem. His father had many many addiction problems. You'd think that would make him realize the pain this is causing our family. He does not drink all the time but when alcohol is in view or he feels as if he needs to drink to have fun, he cannot stop. Many occasions I have had to pick him up when he's wasted, call security, or leave him behind due (he even got out of my moving car) to his drinking. He thinks that because he doesn't drink all the time that he doesn't have a problem.
When a drinker doesn't know when to stop, is he an alcoholic? I've threatened to leave many times but I have come to terms with this disease and I just want to help him. If he continues to drink I know it will ruin our marriage and effect our children.
What do I do? Where do I start in getting him to admit he has a drinking problem?
In reading and listening to the online Al-Anon meetings, it has really helped me understand what my husband is going through. My husband just lost his licence from drinking and driving, lost his job, let everyone down and is trying to quit drinking. He has over 30 days sober. I am very proud of him, but when I say anything to him he says he does not want me to be proud of him and he has nothing to be proud of. My husband's moods change hourly and right now he is not talking to me, he says that he is numb and angry and empty. He is even talking about splitting up as he said that he figured that once he quit drinking our lives would be wonderful. Our lives are almost worse now that he is trying to quit drinking. He tells me that he cannot feel anything towards me and that he needs time and space. I am very scared and feel very alone. I was feeling like it was something that I did to make him not want to be around me. I am starting to realize that there is nothing that I can do for him and I have to start looking after myself. I love him very much, but I think that this is something that he has to work through. I am going to try and find an Al-Anon meeting in my area and start attending. Thank you for listening.


text:
Mobile, Ala – Eric Rowe finished his career with the Utah Utes as a four-year starter. Three of them were at free safety. But when Keith McGill left for the NFL, following the 2013 season, Rowe was moved to cornerback.
Rowe officially weighed in last Tuesday in Mobile at 6-foot-0 ½ and 204 pounds. He has the size that NFL teams covet in the modern corner prototype, but just a year of experience at the position. Although he's been playing with the cornerbacks all week at the Senior Bowl, he might be better suited to safety at the pro level.
He was productive in his senior season with the Utes, finishing with 59 total tackles, 3 tackles for a loss and an interception (a pick six). As a corner, he has a propensity for using his size to jam receivers at the line of scrimmage and disrupt slants and shallow crossing routes.
Rowe also happens to be third all-time in Utes history with 34 career pass breakups. He's an instinctual player who is comfortable playing in a zone. But some scouts question whether he has the skills to line up and cover man-to-man.
Rowe's senior season at Utah was impressive enough to earn him an invitation to play in Reese's Senior Bowl. And he's relished the opportunity to showcase his skills on a deeper level with pro scouts and compete with some of the best players in the country.
"It's been a great experience," he told me, "meeting players from all over the country and great players, too, at that. And then getting coached by a pro staff, you know, to see the kind of tempo and energy at practice. It's been a great experience."
Rowe has had to line up against some special players, like Duke's Jamison Crowder and Ohio State's Devin Smith. Both of these players represent the type that some scouts believe Rowe struggles to handle one-on-one, but for either of them to win vs. Rowe, they first have to get off his jam at the line of scrimmage.
Rowe played corner his senior year and has been with the corner group at the Senior Bowl all week. He's showed well but hasn't jumped off the field. Again, I query that perhaps he's best suited at safety.
NFL teams are always looking for that centerfielding-type of safety who can cover a lot of ground and break on plays developing in front of him and laterally.
If asked to play safety at the pro level, I believe he'd be successful – arguably more so than as a corner. He played free safety for three years and believes he has what it takes. He's great at attacking the ball at the high-point and makes it difficult for the receiver to haul in the pass.
When I asked him what type of safety he sees himself as, he was happy to answer.
"The free-range type safety -- ball-hawk -- centerfield. I would say those are more my attributes but I've played in the box, of course, so I can go down there just as easy."
In the box, Rowe has displayed that he's not afraid to stick his nose into the action and get his hands dirty. In run support, he flies into the muss and his tackle numbers show that. As a prospect, his versatility sets him apart.
Although he might not fit what every NFL team is looking for, they have taken notice of Rowe. When I asked him which teams had been in contact with him, he made it known that very few hadn't.
"Almost all of them," he said, "with a few exceptions."
Knowing that I cover the Denver Broncos, he also offered me this extra nugget.
"And yeah, I've talked to the Broncos."
The Broncos are deep at corner, with Chris Harris, Jr., Aqib Talib, Bradley Roby, Omar Bolden and Kayvon Webster. But two of their safeties are unrestricted free agents – Rahim Moore and Quinton Carter. It wouldn't surprise me if some of the interest Rowe's garnered from NFL scouts has come as a safety prospect.
A great showing today in the game itself could really help bolster his draft stock. As is, many draftniks see him as a mid-round pick – fourth or fifth round. His official 40-time will be key in exactly where he falls in the draft. The Utes list him at 4.39 40-yard speed. It'll be interesting to see if that holds true at his pro day and at the combine.
Chad Jensen is the Publisher and Lead Analyst for MileHighHuddle. You can find him on Twitter @ChadNJensen and on Google+.
Follow MileHighHuddle on Twitter @MileHighHuddle and become a subscriber to receive access to premium content and discounted Broncos tickets.
See what Broncos fans are saying here

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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|2,100 sq. ft.
|Property type
|Minimum Stay
|3 - 7 nights
This vacation home sits just footsteps away from beautiful pictured rocks national park. Sitting high on a hillside, tree tops cottage has a spectacular panoramic view of lake superior and grand island!
Tree tops has 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and over 2000 spacious square feet to enjoy. It is perched on a hillside on a quiet dead end road close to town and beautiful sandy beaches.
This cottage is tastefully decorated with comfort in mind. Enjoy the large wrap around deck; perfect for visiting family and friends, grilling out, or taking in the stunning views and beautiful sunsets over munising harbor.
The four bedrooms are furnished with a night stand, reading lamp, clock, dresser, mirror and closet. Tree tops cottage sleeps 10 guests in 2 queen size beds, 1 double and a single on the main floor and 1 single and a set of bunk beds on the lower level. Bed linens and towels are provided as well as starter products of paper towels, tissues, toilet paper, hand soap, dish detergent and laundry soap.
Tree tops cottage has beautiful hardwood floors throughout the main floor with the exception of the tiled bathroom and carpeted living room.
The kitchen is complete with refrigerator, range, microwave, dishwasher, coffee maker, george foreman grill, toaster, slow cooker,blender, dishes, pots and pans and utensils. It also comes with basic spices, salt and pepper and coffee filters.
A dining table seats six inside or you can dine on the deck which is accessible from the dining area.
The carpeted living room has two love seats and matching ottomans and a reclining chair. It also has a large screen tv with dvd and vcr. Free wireless internet is provided.
The bathroom on the main floor consists of a double vanity, toilet, tub/shower and a linen closet.
In addition to the bedroom on the lower level, there is a walkout recreation room to enjoy the perfectly manicured lawn and view. The lower level also houses a laundry room with a washer/dryer, iron and ironing board and clothes pins. The bathroom has a single vanity, shower and toilet.
The large deck that wraps around 3 sides of the house is a great place to admire the flower gardens, watch the 4th of july fireworks, sunsets, boat activity on the bay, or watch the deer and fox that occasionally play in the meadow adjacent to the property. The decks features chaise lounges, lounge chairs, cocktail tables, and a patio table with umbrella and chairs. A charcoal is located outside on the lower patio. Please bring your own charcoal.
From the patio, a path meanders through a lily patch, down a steep hill and across woody run brook to munising falls.
Tree tops cottage is adjacent to pictured rocks national lakeshore. The park extends 40 miles along lake superior from munising to grand marais. There are numerous waterfalls, hiking trails, white birch forests, sandy swim beaches, lighthouses and more. Miners castle is a must see and the chapel loop hiking trail is highly recommended.
Tree tops is a great stopping off point to rest, relax, refresh. Hope to see you soon.
Fred is a retired National Park Ranger having worked at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore and Marcia is a retired teacher. Both enjoy active vacations and have traveled extensively throughout the United States, Caribbean, Europe and parts of Canada. Our interests include hiking, kayaking, canoeing, photography, and wildflowers. Fred is an organic gardner, makes twig furniture, and designs silver and turquoise jewelry. Marcia enjoys going to the gym and repurposing old furniture.
We are Yooper transplants coming from New Jersey and Minnesota. We met on Isle Royale National Park working there during our college summer vacations.
We currently live in Woody Run Cottage which is next door to Tree Tops Cottage.
September 26- October 2 the Richardson family
Wow fantastic place! Feel like we are visiting family! So much to do in the U.P. Always great to get back here to "home". Thank you so much Fred and Marcia!
I booked this home for a Girls Getaway Fall color tour trip. This gem of a home couldn't of worked out any better! The main floor living space is more open and spacious than the pictures imply. The bedrooms and 2 bathrooms accommodated the 5 of us with no problem. The proximity to the town of Munising and Pictured Rock National Park was ideal. We thoroughly enjoyed making a bonfire and enjoying the beautiful view of Lake Superior. Would definitely recommend this home and will be back!
Wonderful place-had everything we needed and more. The location is fantastic and the view is spectacular. Lot's of local knowledge and information about what you should see and do. We would defiantly want to stay here again if we are visiting the area.
This is a very lovely property in a very nice location. Close to the Munising Falls trailhead and other small waterfalls. Just on the outskirts of town on a hill overlooking the bay. The property is well maintained, with beautiful flowers all around, clean and up to date. The amenities are very nice. Everything is modern and well maintained.
The proprietor is very polite and helpful. He was a ranger at the National Lakeshore for years, so tap his knowledge of the area.
A bit pricey (especially with the 7-day minimum) but well worth it. The property was very nice and fully lived up to expectations. The pictures are 100% accurate.
This home is in a perfect location, with wonderful views of the lake and close to the town for quick trip to grocery or shopping or tours. The August evenings got a little warm, but the downstairs was always cool, if a little musty. Nice that there was a dehumidifier. We had nine adults and all slept comfortably, but had to space out the showers. The stove went out while we were there, and it was replaced the next day. We appreciated having the owners right next door, in addition to their knowledge of the area. One of the best rental homes we've done. Would go back.
We really enjoyed our week at this house. Beautiful view of Lake Superior and easy drive into town. The view of the stars at night was spectacular. House was very clean and comfy.
This was our inaugural family vacation so alot was "riding" on my selection of lodging! Gratefully, Tree Top Cottage did not disappoint! The house & property are just as described & we were welcomed with a gift of s'more fixings on the table. The room with the bunk beds is downstairs & served us well as the kids settled there & the adults were upstairs. Deck is wonderful & the yard spacious for outdoor games. Easy & close to run into town for ice. etc. We brought enough food to sustain us for a month so we did not eat out...except to order pizza. ( a second refrigerator in the laundry room might be considered....we kept beverages in coolers on the deck ) We never used the kitchen table to sit down & eat but moved it against the wall & used it as " snack central" all week! Just make the house your own...we were complimented by Parker that we left it in great condition & received our full refund that day! The only "criticism" my kids felt was that although Fred was genuinely welcoming, nice and helpful with area sites, he might be sensitive with his presence around the yard, walking over to talk as it felt like a shadow hovering . We certainly appreciated his wanting to assist to make our stay a good one, but the renter's privacy is also important. Finally, a mention that we inquired about extra guests over the 10 and were allowed....it worked out great & meant alot as they were my grandson's friends...so thank you again! Tree Top Cottage is a wonderful family vacation & great memories are guaranteed! :)
Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore is right at our doorstep. Tree Tops Cottage is adjacent to the national lakeshore. Munising Falls is a few minutes walk and Sand Point Beach, which was named one of five nationally rated beaches, is two miles down the road. Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore extends 40 miles along Lake
Superior from Munising to Grand Marais offering numerous waterfalls, hiking trails, beach combing, white birch forests, lighthouses, swim beaches and more. The Chapel loop hiking trail is one of the most spectacular in the area.....another must see is Miners Castle.
|Rate Period
|Weekend Night
Jul 2 2017 - Aug 31 2017
Changeover Day: Sunday
7 night minimum stay
|Notes: Rates are based on 8 guests; add $30 per night, per additional guest
Sep 1 2017 - Oct 31 2017
3 night minimum stay
|Notes: Rates are based on 8 guests; add $30 per night, per additional guest
My Standard Rate
3 night minimum stay
|Property Damage Protection
|Refundable damage deposit
|Tax Rate
Additional guests $25/ person per night applies to parties over 8 guests
Damage security deposit $250 deposit is refundable if there are no damages / excessive cleaning. You also have a renters insurance policy available provided by Homeaway. It's not mandatory its up to you the renter to decide wether to purchase or not.
Turnover day is Sunday with check out time of 10:30 and check in time of 3:00.
Payment methods are flexible.
Please contact us with further questions.


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text:
I'm looking for some software that will monitor the up/down status of our servers (ICMP ping will do) and send me an alert if one goes offline.
Free or Open Source would be great but I wouldn't mind paying for the right software.
What tools are other people using to do this?
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:00 UTC
We use a combination of Servers Alive and Opmanager v6. We bought Servers Alive because of the all the different types of checks you can test against and we needed more than 10. We use Opmanager v6 because the free version lets you monitor 20 nodes with unlimited checks. It provides some nice graphs for different information on your servers. v7 looks nicer, but is limited to 10 nodes (we have 14).
37 Replies
Jun 25, 2008 at 4:19 UTC
Try www.opennms.org/ it should do what you are looking for.
Jun 25, 2008 at 10:46 UTC
Depends on what all functionality you want. Some large corporations use SCOM 2007. At my place of work we use WhatsUp, but that was partially in place when I got here. Not a bad program for basic monitoring, along with lots of scripting posibilites.
As far as Open Source goes, I've heard great things about Nagios (http:/
Jun 25, 2008 at 10:51 UTC
1st Post
I would try Solarwinds Orion (www.solarwinds.com) if you are going to have a dedicated server for monitoring. It's very flexible and will monitor your network as well as your servers. and has add on products for application monitoring and netflow reporting. They also have a great support forum at www.thwack.com. As far a price, there are different levels of options depending on how many nodes you need to monitor. There is a full version available for a 30 day trial at their website.
Jun 25, 2008 at 11:57 UTC
We use Servers Alive ( http:/
Jun 25, 2008 at 12:13 UTC
Dartware's Intermapper is awesome software. It's not cheap, but it's the best. It will monitor your whole network in a grapical fashion, monitor, graph snmp data, alert etc. Fanstastic stuff, I've been using it for years.
Another system I use is kiwi software's Syslog using evtsys to send the server eventlogs to the software. Syslog will let you program event triggers to email you when your server is acting up, nice to get an alert *before* the sever shuts down (sometimes). At any rate it is a super way to wade through event logs of a bunch of servers, inexpensively.
If I could not afford Intermapper, I would go with Nagios. You can go to VMWARE and download a pre-configured linux Nagios virtual machine. This is a great way to get a monitoring system up and running in a hurry.
Jun 25, 2008 at 3:53 UTC
I use Huge Brother Local from here: http:/
It may be too simple for you but it helps me see when a server is down or where a network problem is between my PC and our ISP.
Jun 25, 2008 at 6:20 UTC
A little confused here but doesn't Spiceworks handle this type of monitoring as well. We use GFI Server Monitor but not 100% sold on it as yet. One product that has just hit the market which uses up-to-date technologies is PacketTrap. It shows promise. The latest version even includes a network mapping function.
Jun 26, 2008 at 7:09 UTC
1st Post
We have used IPSentry for YEARS. It "just works" for monitoring Windows Servers with plugins of all types. It can monitor Windows Services and restart them on failure (yes, Windows 2000+ can do this on their own... IPSentry has been around since NT). It also has loads of plugins available for everything from SMTP loop testing to environmental monitoring.
Check it out here: www.ipsentry.com
Jun 26, 2008 at 7:44 UTC
It's not a free product but you could check out PageR Enterprise from AVTECH
I tested this for a while, just ended up not going with the server room temp sensor. The software is pretty powerful and really configurable.
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:00 UTC
We use a combination of Servers Alive and Opmanager v6. We bought Servers Alive because of the all the different types of checks you can test against and we needed more than 10. We use Opmanager v6 because the free version lets you monitor 20 nodes with unlimited checks. It provides some nice graphs for different information on your servers. v7 looks nicer, but is limited to 10 nodes (we have 14).
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:12 UTC
1st Post
Hi Chris, I use PRTG Traffic Grapher (http:/
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:41 UTC
Take a look at monitis.com , they will monitor your server (internal and/or external) from multiple locations and they can send you email, im you, sms in different intervals.
We have it setup that if a server goes down or is unreachable, first an email gets send out to our support, if it's still down after 5 minutes, an sms gets send, it is still down after 15 minutes the group manager gets paged, down for 60 minutes, somebody else gets paged and all hell typically breaks loose...
It's working very nicely, interface needs a little bit to get used to, but it's very nice.
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:42 UTC
Thanks for all the replies, some really good tips. I'm currently trialling OpManager, which looks like it will do the trick nicely.
Thanks again!
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:54 UTC
I've also used HugeBrother and can recommend it as a simple free tool. Look@LAN also has a component called Look@Host which very similar (and free).
If you want full reporting and complex checks then I can also recommend Servers Alive.
Jun 26, 2008 at 2:18 UTC
I see that this has already been answered, but there are some open ends.
Spiceworks can monitor systems and report when they are down, but the frequency of this is limited to how often Spiceworks scans the network, which is in the hours range, versus the "LIVE" timeframe most people are after.
I will second Nagios. Sweet application.
If all you want is to ping the server with ICMP packets and base up/down status on that, a simple script can do the trick as well. This would be especially easy in Linux, but even in Windows a batch script or VBscript could handle this.
Jun 26, 2008 at 3:03 UTC
Hi all,
we use Tembria Server Monitor here and are very happy with it. Not very expensive and heavily configurable so I believe you can match many others in functionalities for a fraction of the cost.
Jul 25, 2008 at 11:16 UTC
I have tested almost all that is out there,
IPCHECK seems the best, and price is relatively low, you get setup sensors and thresholds for just about anything. Its great!!!
Now they discontinued it which really makes me angry because its so light weight they have a new product which seems to have too much bulk to it.
Sep 17, 2009 at 6:20 UTC
I like PA Server Monitor. Easy to set up and use. Free if you only need it to ping servers and alert you if they go down.
Sep 18, 2009 at 10:37 UTC
I found this one the other day www.r-u-on.com/
Not tried it myself, but have been looking for something free that will give me alerts if services and the like go down. Asked my boss about trialing it but he's not keen on 'outside' monitoring. I'll convince him to consider it eventually :)
Sep 18, 2009 at 12:03 UTC
To echo what fla5h2001 said, we have been using IP Check for about 3 years now. Works great because I can
- VPN in and check system that are up or have failed
- Provides audio alarms when something goes down
- Run reports for weekly uptime/downtime metrics
I usually get a call asking, "Is the [whatever] server down?" and I can look up at our screen on the wall and give a definitive yes/no answer.
Sep 29, 2009 at 12:33 UTC
We use What's Up Gold which is cool because not only does it have a visual layout of the servers that change colors when a server drops, but you can setup multiple email notifications within the program to let not only the admin know it's down, but also the application managers. It will also tell you if a vital service has stopped, if the disk and/or event viewer log is full, etc.
I've also installed OpenManage on all of our Windows servers, just can't get problems to send an alert email.
Sep 30, 2009 at 11:19 UTC
I use Zenoss for both Server and Network monitoring. It is very customizable and has a lot of features.
Sep 30, 2009 at 1:00 UTC
Cast my vote for Solarwinds. It's not that difficult to setup, it's free, and it let's you know when things have gone to heck. The only downside is it might be a little too sensative and once you have a feel for it, you may have to raise certain thresholds, and such. We have it running on a Windows 2003 VM, and it works fine.
Mar 29, 2010 at 2:01 UTC
1st Post
FAN - Fully Configured Nagios is my current choice, after testing OP5 (also Nagios) for a free month I decided to learn more. I only needed to watch a 2min youtube clip to get started adding hosts, and I think the rest of the configuration will come easy (using the included Centreon webconfig)
This discussion has been inactive for over a year.
You may get a better answer to your question by starting a new discussion.


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Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML
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By blumaster04 - / Tuesday 22 December 2009 22:53 / United States
Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML
By headache / Monday 23 February 2015 01:41 / United States
Today, I tried to overcome my shyness by warmly greeting the bus driver while entering it. I instead blurted out really loudly the words of the song my iPod was playing. FML
By OzzyWannabee / Friday 20 February 2015 08:12 / France - Issy-les-moulineaux
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
By SDCore - / Thursday 12 February 2015 00:40 / United States - Glenview
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
By Anonymous / Wednesday 14 January 2015 01:50 / United States - Wilmington


text:
Pizza Hut news
KFC operator Yum China beats earning expectations
The growth came as Yum added 575 new restaurants over the year -- with more than half coming in the final three months -- bringing its total in the country to more than 7,500.
Pizza Hut plans to double outlets to over 700 by 2022
Pizza Hut is also focussed on growing its online sales, which has seen a rise since demonetisation in November.
After two decades of operation, can KFC and Reebok reboot?
Even after two decades of operations in India, KFC and Reebok are fighting survival demons.Can the two global biggies rebound in 2017?
Some deals platforms gain, others lose in the churn
The merchants responded. This had an impact on sales, which rose by 25% over average sales before demonetization.
Demonetisation - an advertising boon?
Has demonetisation made 'queues' another advertising medium for brands to target a captive audience?
KFC India puts chicken back in the centre of the menu; posts 13% rise in sales: Rahul Shinde, MD
The focus has been to offer value to consumers through the week, not linked to coupons or free offers, so that the expectation is consistent.
Yum China aims to triple restaurants as challenges loom
Pant said Yum China will have 15 percent earnings expansion in the world's fastest-growing economy and that it will open restaurants in burgeoning mega cities, major transportation hubs and new shopping malls.
Yum Brands to return $13.5 billion to shareholders by 2019
Yum said it had bought back $5.2 billion of shares as a part of its previously announced capital return program of $6.2 billion, reducing its share count by 16 per cent.
As people go veg for Navaratra, food chains say sales and footfalls dip
Those places that are still serving non-vegetarian food see a major dip in sales.
KFC system sales up 13%; Pizza Hut system sales up 6% for July-Sep quarter
With consumers scaling back on discretionary spending and novelty of western style foods waning, QSR chains have been grappling with low single digit same store sales for at least seven quarters now.
Pizza Hut outsources delivery riders
The restaurant chain will no longer deliver pizzas through its own employees, starting with top 5 cities including Delhi NCR, since it is cheaper for a low volume player to outsource delivery.
Is it time up for Pizza in India?
Consumption of pizza in India is declining steadily, even as the number of health and fitness conscious consumers is growing.
Delhi digs fast food chains, Mumbai prefers restaurants
Per capita spend on food services by urban population in India is less than one-tenth of the US and less than one-seventh of China.
Five Star Chicken shuts 133 outlets in India in 5 months
The company is now looking at a new strategy to gain growth momentum as the Rs 6,000 crore quick service restaurant or QSR segment has been reporting single-digit or negative same-store sales growth for the past two years.
Why buy when the same can be cooked at home, new mantra of Indian consumers
This indicates that while consumes are cutting down on eating pizza and burgers at stores like Domino's, Pizza Hut or McDonald's, they are cooking similar western foods at home.
Yum says it will sell stake in China unit ahead of spinoff
Yum Brands says it will sell a stake in its China unit, which the parent company of KFC and Pizza Hut is spinning off later this year.
MobiKwik targets profits by April 2018; increases offline play
"We expect to become profitable by 2018 and continue to expand financial offerings to help meet this goal," MobiKwik co-founder Upasana Taku said.


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Guess where I'm eating an omelet obliterated by arugula?
Lori Midson
Look, I like arugula just as much as the next herb-obsessed mortal, but it's every-damn-where, including crouching on top of my omelet, which in and of itself, was lovely to look it but not remotely memorable in my mouth. And it's a sad day when a heave of arugula makes a more pronounced impression than the dish it flourishes. Kudos, though, to the saving graces of housemade ketchup and hot sauce.
Can you guess where I'm eating?
Special bonus: Anyone who gives the first correct answer to the week's Guess Where posts is entered into a pool -- and every Monday, we select one lucky winner who'll receive an EatDenver dining deck, worth up to $520 in discounts at independent restaurants. Read all about EatDenver dining decks here.
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Pastors for Sale, Pastors for Rent!Wednesday, January 20th, 2016
Obama don't represent you! pastors arguing about Trump, but you won't argue about a President who sold you out?
Posted by Johnathan Gentry on Friday, December 4, 2015
#Church #Pastor #Pastors #Corruption
Website Comment: Pastors for sale, Pastors for rent. This is the bottom of the barrel.
(7 Views)


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This is a fantastic, comprehensive look at all the different kinds of triggers which contribute to pulling men into sexual addiction. I thank Bill Herring (billherring.com) for the content which I read from in this episode. It's so crucially important to know the kinds of things which tug on your heart and mind and can lead you into making porn your medication. For the next several weeks on the podcast we're going to be talking about each set of triggers and how to identify them in your own recovery journey. So read up and educate yourself!
A person seeking to manage compulsive sexual behavior must learn how to recognize and effectively respond to to the fact that a variety of "triggers" can set the spiral of an addictive relapse into motion, including:
(1) Environmental triggers -- It's natural to want to look at someone we find appealing, but gazing at sexually attractive people is risky for a person with a sexual tendency toward obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. Even when not immediately arousing, this type of behavior is capable of fueling an unhealthy spiral of fantasy, intrigue and objectification. The danger is not limited to overt staring: even a series of subtle and seemingly innocent glances is sufficient to "drink in" another person's sexual allure. The cumulative effect of this type of behavior can be very challenging to long-term sexual sobriety. While some locations have obvious risks (a summer beach, for instance), the opportunity for a visual "hit" can occur at almost any place and time. Utilizing techniques such as the "3 second rule" can be very useful for rapidly recognizing and discontinuing engagement with potential masturbatory imagery.
(2) Psychological triggers -- Compulsive sexual behavior can be triggered by a wide spectrum of psychological stress factors. The act of engaging in sexually obsessive rituals is often an unconscious attempt to numb, divert or otherwise manage anger, anxiety, sadness and many other difficult emotional states. It is therefore important to develop adequate coping skills for effectively dealing with these emotions. Both professional counseling and 12-step group attendance can be very beneficial in these efforts.
(3) Opportunistic triggers -- Sexually addictive urges often intensify in the absence of accountability to others. Some sexual impulses are fueled simply by the opportunity to engage in them without being discovered. This is why internet filters can be so very valuable in reducing the opportunity for "getting away" with online pornography and chat. One of the many benefits of 12-step support groups is their ability to provide a much-needed source of accountability and reduce the risk of extended periods of isolation.
(4) Cognitive triggers -- Certain trains of thoughts are dangerous for a person susceptible to sexually compulsive behavior. Daydreaming about past escapades (known as "euphoric recall"), engaging in sexual fantasy, and minimizing the problems that accompany sexual misconduct are just some of the distorted thought patterns can lead to horrendous outcomes. The fact that these thoughts can be hard to recognize when they are happening makes them doubly dangerous. This is another important reason for not attempting to address sexual compulsion in isolation from other people. Counseling and 12-step support groups can help disrupt the many examples of "stinking thinking" which are common to all addictive thought processes.
(5) Biological triggers -- Basic physiological influences can trigger sexual impulses. Awakening with an erection or simply going for periods of time without sexual release can serve as seemingly compelling reasons to engage in sexual behavior. The ability to engage in healthy sexual partnering (which is an entire topic by itself) is of great value in channeling biologically driven sexual drives. Any effort to avoid masturbation or engage in a period of constructive celibacy is more likely to succeed when a person is engaging in healthy self-care. This is where the acronym "H.A.L.T" can be so useful. It stands for "hungry, angry, lonely, tired" and warns that basic human needs for sustenance, rest, companionship and emotional balance are crucial to keep from falling into unhealthy behaviors that can result in dire, unintended consequences.
Triggers are an inevitable part of both addiction and the recovery process, and the ability to deal with each of these types is essential to the goal of maintaining lifelong sexual integrity. A person who truly has this type of sexual disorder is rarely able to accomplish this alone, making the task of learning these skills a developmental process that must occur over time in collaboration with others. Untold thousands of people will attest that the goal is well worth the effort required to reach it.


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CodeCanyon Awesome Ratings Ultimate AJAX Rating WP Plugin 8952456
Ratings \ Custom \ Average \ Element \ Awesome \ Customize \ Allows \ Information
Plugin - Awesome Ratings Ultimate AJAX Rating WP Plugin 8952456 by DJMiMi @ CodeCanyon
Awesome Ratings
Awesome ratings is the premium wordpress plug & play plugin with which you are able to get the feedback from your visitors about any post type. Post types are pages, posts and any other custom post type registered by your plugins and themes.
Awesome ratings allows you to customize universal style of the ratings which will be applied to all ratings and also allows you to customize the ratings for the specific post as well.
Awesome ratings are using AJAX (no page reload) to rate the posts and IP logging to prevent multiple rates.
List Of Features
- Checkboxes to select on which post types to display the ratings.
- AJAX (no page reload) rating.
- Average column on the post listing in the admin panel (sortable).
- Rates count column on the post listing in the admin panel (sortable).
- Custom number of stars.
- Custom color of the empty star.
- Custom color of the rate stars
- Custom color of the hover star.
- Size of the stars.
- Margins of the ratings.
- Position of the ratings(before content/after content).
- Align of the ratings (center/left/right).
- Font size of the information about ratings (average and rates count).
- Font size of the information about ratings (average and rates count).
- Clearing all ratings or for the certain post only.
- TOP Rated widget element.
- TOP Rated PT Builder element
- TOP Rated Visual Composer element.
- Custom function for extra calling of the rates.
- Well documented.
- Plug & Play usage
Price Table Builder | Drag & Drop WP Plugin; Ultimate Place Locator And Submission WP Plugin; Woo Slider | Ultimate Woo Commerce Product Slider; Xtreme Gallery | Upgrade Wordpress Gallery; Flips | Create Flipbook From Post Types WP Plugin; Contractor | Create, Send, Sign Contracts Online; Popularity - Filtering And View Tracking WP Plugin.
Keywords: ajax, average, colors, plugin, post, pt builder, rates, ratings, star, stars, visual composer, widget, wordpress, wp.


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- Latest
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… appropriate for a spy agency with a checkered human-rights history to be it up on social media — but the CIA hasn't been responding. Instead, it has been sticking to fairly pedestrian tweets of excerpts from CIA director John Brennan's speech to an intelligence conference, happy 90th birthday wishes to former CIA director (and President) George H.W. Bush…
… America's spy agency, the Central Intelligence Agency, has joined Twitter — and proven it has a sense of humor right from the start. According to Google, "Molly Hale" had the account as of June 1, and it was protected: "Molly Hale" is the CIA's official public voice, so it seems likely the CIA has had the Twitter account for some time…


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The Makita KP0800 power planer (240v) is a heavy-duty machine that has been designed to be easy and comfortable to use.
This Makita 82mm planer has a maximum planning depth of 2mm.


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A man and a woman robbed and assaulted a taxi driver in eastern San Diego Friday morning after the driver asked for payment, police said.
The taxi driver picked up the couple at Winona Avenue and El Cajon Boulevard about 9 a.m. and drove them to Adelaide Avenue in El Cerrito, San Diego police Office Frank Cali said.
When the driver turned to the female passenger to collect payment, the male passenger punched him. The driver then jumped out of the taxi and ran down the street, Cali said.
The passengers caught him and the man picked up a rock and struck the driver on the back of his head. They punched the victim and grabbed his cellphone before running away, Cali said.
The man is described as black, in his 30s, about 6 feet tall, wearing a purple and gray shirt with jeans. The woman is described as black, in her 20s, wearing a black SDSU sweatshirt and blue jeans.


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Q: What is outbuilding training?
A: Kennel training, too particular as box training, keeps the dog homebound to a doghouse once you are not existing. This helps with housebreaking, near reaction differentiation anxiety, next to preventing annihilating doings (such as chewing furnishings), and next to compliance a whelp off the hook (where he can't bite on on wires or another dodgy social unit items).
Q: Isn't it average to lock up your dog?
A: Not necessarily. Dogs fluently like a den-like environment, and an indoor kennel can give this. It is primal to ne'er use the box for price and you privation your dog to admiration the dog house as his freedom. When you no longest condition the box for grooming purposes, you can transfer the door so the dog can come in and walk off as he wishes.
Q: What do I have need of to put into the kennel?
A: Bedding, such as as a towel or blanket, water, particularly if your whelp is to be kenneled for more than than two hours, and toys, such as as Kongs or Nylabones.
Q: How prolonged can the dog be in the kennel?
A: That depends on the age of your dog. No issue what the age, no pup or dog should be crated for more than five hours. The individual omission to this is long. During the day, the suggested present time are
9-10 Weeks - Approx. 30-60 minutes
11-14 Weeks - Approx. 1-3 hours
15-16 Weeks - Approx. 3-4 hours
17 Weeks - Approx. 4-5 hours
Q: Where should I resource the kennel?
A: A dog loves to be quantity of the home. Try to living the dog house in a important location, such as as your aware area. Then the dog will use the dog house happily spell you are burrow in need becoming lone.
Q: How should I get my dog to use a kennel?
A: Never propel your dog to come in the doghouse. Instead, decrease minuscule pieces of diet in the dog house or nutrient your dog in the dog house. When the dog enters the kennel, recognition her. Allow her to get in use to her outbuilding until that time restrictive her. When you do confine her, with the sole purpose donate her for a stout amount of case at prototypal so she can turn used to to it.


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Details & Care
Painterly dots stripe an airy tunic shirt crafted of sheer silk georgette with a stretchy tank liner. Slit cuffs and a high/low hemline enhance the flowy movement.
- Approx. length from shoulder: front 28 1/2"; back 34".
- Measurements taken from size Medium and may vary slightly by size.
- Front button closure.
- Rayon/spandex tank.
- Silk; hand wash.
- By Citron; imported.
- Studio 121.
- Item #645704


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Edit Something Brochure Content
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Aubrey – Bound By Desire
Released: July 2, 2015
X-Art and Colette.com exclusive teen hottie Aubrey has been bound by many things – rope, shackles, handcuffs, silk ties…and this time she's bound by desire. Desire for another lustful sex session with her newest crush Tyler. The chemistry is always hot with these two but this time a little kinkiness added to the passion makes for SUPER HOT sex. Cum see what I mean…


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Marc Matsumoto
Experience the Aroma and Flavor of Passion Fruit Syrup
This sweet tropical syrup takes center stage in cocktails, on pancakes or over yogurt. Continue
Potluck Winner: Sweet Miso Chicken Wings
Add brown sugar, miso and ginger to your chicken wings. This make-ahead dish is a real crowd pleaser. Continue
Make Dinner Meatless With Hearty Eggplant Involtini
Roll up creamy farro with garlic roasted eggplant to create a satisfying and healthy dish. The rolls braise in a sweet tomato sauce. Continue
Make Spring Onions and Gruyere Pizza from Scratch
Spring onions are in season from late spring and early summer! The Gruyere imparts a nutty flavor on the homemade dough for a simple meal. Continue
Embrace the Herb: Make Coriander Chicken
Chicken can become mundane, and coriander can be an acquired taste. Combine them with spicy cilantro for a flavorful dinner. Continue
Make Curried Chicken Salad for a Side Dish
The creamy mayonnaise and fragrant curry permeates the chicken, transforming a dry, bland breast into something moist and flavorful. Continue
Kangkung Goreng
Kangkung is an Asian semi-aquatic vegetable that's widely used in the cuisines of Southeast Asia. Continue
Lemongrass Ceviche
With crisp slices of red onion, thai chilies and a hint of palm sugar, this ceviche finds a pleasant balance with Thai flavor. Continue


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New Blu-rays and DVDs this week include Barbershop: The Next Cut (Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer), Criminal (Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman), The Boss (Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Bell), I Am Wrath (John Travolta), and Hardcore Henry (Sharlto Copley). Continue reading for a summary of the new Blu-rays and DVDs for this week.
Blu-rays and DVDs coming out the week of July 26, 2016
Barbershop: The Next Cut
It's been more than 10 years since our last appointment at Calvin's Barbershop. Calvin (Ice Cube) and his longtime crew, including Eddie (Cedric the Entertainer), are still there, but the shop has undergone some major changes. Most noticeably, our once male-dominated sanctuary is now co-ed. The ladies bring their own flavor, drama and gossip to the shop challenging the fellas at every turn. Despite the good times and camaraderie within the shop, the surrounding community has taken a turn for the worse, forcing Calvin and our crew to come together to not only save the shop, but their neighborhood.
The memories and skills of a CIA agent are implanted into the brain of a dangerous criminal in order to stop an international terrorist.
The Boss
Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids, The Heat) stars as Michelle Darnell, a titan of industry who is sent to prison for insider trading. After doing her time, Michelle emerges, ready to rebrand herself as America's latest sweetheart, but not everyone she steamrolled is so quick to forgive and forget. With nowhere to go and no one to scam, Michelle is forced to move in with former assistant Claire (Kristen Bell – Frozen, Showtime's House of Lies) and her young daughter, Rachel. Now at her lowest point, Michelle wastes no time in devising a winner-take-all plan to rebuild her empire. Can she reclaim her status as the No. 1 screwer, or will the love of one family screw her for good?
I Am Wrath
John Travolta is Stanley Hill, a former Black Ops agent who witnessed his wife's death at the hands of a street gang. When corrupt cops let the prime suspect walk, Stanley takes the law into his own hands. Joined by a former comrade-in-arms (Christopher Meloni), Stanley uncovers a conspiracy that leads to the upper ranks of government, as he heads toward a guns-blazing, take-no-prisoners showdown for justice.
You remember nothing. Mainly because you've just been brought back from the dead by your wife who tells you that your name is Henry. Five minutes later, you are being shot at, your wife has been kidnapped, and you should probably go get her back. You're also in an unfamiliar city of Moscow, and everyone wants you dead. If you can survive the insanity and solve the mystery, you might just discover your purpose and the truth behind your identity.


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IBM is continuing its foray into the retail solutions game. The company announced its Retail Consumer Experience Platform, which is designed to allow retailers to get more personal with customers.
IBM and Box are launching a global, cloud-based partnership that will integrate their existing products and services and develop new solutions targeted across industries including retail. The strategic alliance brings together Box's cloud content collaboration platform with IBM Analytics and social solutions, IBM security technologies and the global IBM cloud.
Oracle is going head-to-head with Amazon with a slew of more than 24 new additions to the Oracle Cloud Platform.
IBM is releasing new design and analytics features as part of IBM marketing cloud to enable brands to address the rising complexity marketers face engaging with customers as individuals.
IBM is releasing new hybrid cloud technology and services designed to extend clients' control, visibility, security and governance in a hybrid cloud environment similar to what they have in their private cloud and traditional IT systems.
▲ Cloud computing, the remote hosting of applications on virtual platforms for on-demand, Web-based delivery, is on the fast track. Analysts estimate that during the next six years, 90% of new spending on Internet and communications technologies will be on cloud-based technologies.
IBM on Tuesday strengthened its position in the fast-growing market for cloud-computing services with the news that it has entered into an agreement to acquire SoftLayer Technologies Inc.


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Hey there Hunger Games Community. My name is Matty and i used to be regualr contributor to blog posts and in the chat... although the chat basically no longer exists and i miss a whole lot of people...can somebody tell me what went down to cause the chat to die? Anyways, what I am writing for is this: I want to write a book. But not just any book. I want to write a book that puts a spin on the normal genre of The Hunger Games, as well as other genres. If any smart writer, thinker or collabirator out there has any ideas to help or contibute to my novel, please leave a comment on this blog post.
Thank you!


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Dairy Whipped Frosting
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When you purchase a digital subscription to Cake Central Magazine, you will get an instant and automatic download of the most recent issue.
Here's another alternative for non-sweet frosting. I got the recipe from a Tres Leches cake recipe a few years ago. It originally said to add sugar, but I didn't like the texture or taste so I experiment with gelatin and I haven't used any other frosting since.
This recipe will frost, fill and decorate one 9×13 cake.


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Banglore: India"s explosive opener Virendra Sehwag"s right shoulder is showing encouraging signs. Sehwag was at the National Cricket Academy on Wednesday for a regular review of his injury with the physio Paul Close.
Though Viru kept silent on the status of the injury, it was learnt that he is recovering well and his recovery is on the expected lines. He is scheduled to be back at the NCA in four weeks time for another review of the injury.
Sehwag undergoes surgery on shoulder
The opener had picked up the injury during the semi-final match of the IPL-2. The Grade-I injury had later worsened and had to be operated upon, as a result of which Sehwag had to miss the ICC World Twenty20 tournament.


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Indy Deb's Recipe
Decorating By MollyHammond Updated 23 Feb 2011 , 1:02am by indydebi
I am new to this forum and new to cake making and decorating. I am having a problem in finding Indy Deb's buttercream icing recipe. Can somebody point me in the right direction?
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The Musical Event of a Lifetime
This concert, recorded to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the landmark musical Les Miserables, gathers the casts of the show's 2010 original production at the Queen's Theatre, the 1985 original production by the London company, and the 2010 production at the Barbican together for one performance. Together with talents like Michael Ball, Hadley Fraser, and John Owen-Jones, the performers present the play's musical numbers in a semi-theatrical style, fully costumed and with all the emotion of the musical's heyday.
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English, PDF, 1,230kb
This project aims to improve the comparability of data on surgical procedures available across European and non-European OECD countries by testing some methodological improvements to promote greater consistency in data reporting. It also analyses the results of the data collection on surgical procedure rates in terms of variations across countries and trends over time.
Though the rate of public spending on healthcare in the Asia/Pacific region is still well below the OECD average, countries there are committing more resources to improving health care quality.
English, PDF, 274kb
Background paper for the OECD Expert workshop on improving health expenditure forecasting.
English, PDF, 717kb
Updated, refined and extended projections of public spending on health and long-term care for OECD countries and the BRIICS suggest a rapidly rising trend over the next 50 years.
English, PDF, 66kb
Detailed agenda for the meeting "Informing Policy Makers About Future Health Spending: OECD Expert Workshop on Improving Health Expenditure Forecasting Methods", which took place on 30 November 2012 in Paris.
Health spending fell across the European Union in 2010, as cash-strapped governments curbed outlays to help cut budgetary deficits, according to Health at a Glance: Europe 2012, a new joint report by the OECD and the European Commission.
This workshop will convene leading experts from health and finance backgrounds in government, academia, and international organisations to take stock of progress in health expenditure forecasting and to discuss future directions, in light of policy needs and recent advancements in techniques, detailed data and computing power.
New OECD data show that men are more likely to be admitted to hospital as a result of poor management of diabetes than women, even when there are no significant differences in the number of men and women living with diabetes.
At a time when ever more information is available about the quality of health care, the challenge for policy makers is to better understand the policies and approaches that sit behind the numbers. This book examines whether care in Israel is safe, effective and responsive to patients' needs. It examines what works and what does not work, both to benchmark the efforts of countries and to provide advice on reforms to improve quality of health care.