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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38190963542362181982013-12-11T00:21:11.542-06:00Stuff White Christians LikeA Christian Humor Blog devoted to stuff that white Christians email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-50986458600881460542011-12-02T19:24:00.002-06:002011-12-02T19:27:29.861-06:00Bethlehemian Rhapsody<object height="255" width="400" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/godtube/resource/mediaplayer/5.6/player.swf"><param name="movie" value="http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/godtube/resource/mediaplayer/5.6/player.swf"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="opaque"><param name="flashvars" value="file=http://www.godtube.com/resource/mediaplayer/KG7GGLNX.file&image=http://www.godtube.com/resource/mediaplayer/KG7GGLNX.jpg&screencolor=000000&type=video&autostart=false&playonce=true&skin=http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/godtube/resource/mediaplayer/skin/default/videoskin.swf&logo.file=undefinedtheme/default/media/embed-logo.png&logo.link=http://www.godtube.com/watch/%3Fv%3DKG7GGLNX&logo.position=top-left&logo.hide=false&controlbar.position=over"></object>

Combo of nativity scenes and puppet ministry. Couldn't resist this sacreliciousness.
firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-39177430940838195562011-05-27T06:06:00.002-05:002011-05-27T07:08:11.949-05:00#108 Communion Plate Passing Anxiety When the communion plate is passed, white Christians know that they're supposed to be focused on the serving of the Lord's Supper, but they just can't help but feel nervous. Communion plate passing anxiety dominates the mental capacity of the white Christian during this sacrament.

When that tray full of the elements is being passed, there's a lot at stake- including the mother of all white Christian faux paus... dropping a loud, metal tray full of the biggest stain creaters on the face of the earth- making a racket during the most contemplative, introspective moment in white Christendom, and on top of this, staining everyone within the 4 foot spash-zone radius.

With the silver tray packed to the gills with potential energy, white Christians get nervous. "Which side of my row will it come down?" asks the swivel-headed white Christian as they do the odd/even plate-passing technique mental math to determine if the plate of great stain potential is coming from their right or left.

The prequel to this logistical nightmare is the passing of the bread. This is like the plate-passing training camp. If you drop this tray... all that's at risk is a lot of noise. The grape juice, however, brings the situation to threat-level purple. There's a reason that stain-removal commercials use wine or grape juice to demonstrate "the toughest stains."

In white Christian mega-churches with theater seating, there is no "pew slide," so some white Christians are required to literally stand up and side-shuffle10-15 seats to the next person. This carefully tip-toed path is a veritable time-bomb of embarrassment. The white Christian is forced to ponder, "Will he come over to me? Should I walk it over to him? What if we both get up?" The one benefit of the Mega church is the built in excuse. White Christians are passing the tray to a complete stranger. This allows them tomentally pre-emptively blame the other guy for any mishaps.

This anxiety is not limited to the pew-sitter. It extends to the plate passer as well. "What if my passing partner (or "communi-buddy") accidentally get two plates going on the same row toward each other?" ponders the petrified volunteer. "What if I wind up with all 4 plates? I can't balance that!"email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-80401048847297053992010-12-20T07:03:00.001-06:002010-12-20T07:03:00.602-06:00Stuff White Christians LINK: Sesame Street Christmas Pageant<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tYq5xkhscQs&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tYq5xkhscQs&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-60909898685673207002010-12-11T23:59:00.003-06:002010-12-19T08:34:59.386-06:00#107 The Annual Public Nativity Scene Legality DebateGod promises that "where two or three Christians are gathered, there He will be." Unfortunately for American white Christians, local government has decided that "wherever two or three Christians are gathered for a nativity scene, there no one will be ever."

Every year, when Christmas approaches on the calendar, white Christians enjoy several traditions to get themselves into the spirit of the season: reading Luke 2 (any other Biblical accounts of the Christmas story pales in comparison to this particular version), candlelight ceremonies, advent candles, and even pretending there's a Santa Claus. But nothing quite captures the white Christian "reason for the season" like the annual public nativity scene legality debate.

Here's how it breaks down every year: Somewhere in Anytown, USA, a sleepy little village has recently outlawed a nativity scene. 99.9% of white Christians worldwide have never heard of this town, but 100% of white Christians are outraged by this turn of events. After all, local news reports indicate that they've had a nativity scene in the Anytown, USA fire department parking lot for the past 33 years, but now the Washington fat cats are taking this beloved spontaneous zoo fantasy camp away from the once simple (now angry) townspeople.

This group anger pools into action and culminates in two additional white Christian Christmas classics: protests and boycotts. Protest signs with "Jesus is the Reason for the Season," are now on par with Christmas lights. Nothing says "God With Us," quite like a good ol' fashion picket line.
firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-85095504386446230742010-12-11T23:58:00.000-06:002010-12-11T23:58:00.742-06:00Tournament of LikeFalse alarm, the new Tournament of Like will debut next week. Enjoy a new post instead.Abraham Calvinhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-86661211637660688912010-12-04T23:59:00.001-06:002010-12-04T23:59:00.184-06:00New Tournament of Like!Next week we will premier the 2nd Tournament of Like - a fight to the death between all the SWCL posts since the last Tournament of Like. You, dear reader will vote, matchup by matchup on your favorite posts. Last time around, Youth Pastors vanquished Casual Church Attire for the championship. In lieu of our usual post, please enjoy one of the top ten raps about the Heidelberg Catechism I've heard recently.

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WikOUtCAwaU?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WikOUtCAwaU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Abraham Calvinhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-45050063533141064522010-11-27T23:59:00.002-06:002010-11-27T23:59:00.734-06:00#106 Black Double-Breasted Pea Coats
In cool-climate white Christian churches during winter months, you can expect the coat racks to be jam packed with black double-breasted pea coats. There may be a few reds, greens, yellows, or even single breasted coats, but these coat wearers are frankly ridiculous.

Navy blue or silver coats are acceptable- but barely. The simple fact is that the vast majority of White Christians like their exterior winter garments like they like their gospel singers: black and double breasted.

Unfortunately for the coats, every white Christian church has a dysfunctional coat storage system. Back in 1972, the church maintenance guy was charged with purchasing coat racks and/or hangers for the temporary coat-storing needs of the congregation. Being a visionary leader, this man planned on having a maximum of 20 people come to church on any given Sunday. Now, with a church population in the hundreds (or thousands), a coat-soiling game of russian roulette takes place. Miraculously, the 20 coat rack is maximized, and the first hundred congregants are able to store their black double-breasted pea coats in a "just jam it in there" haphazard manner.

With a nod to the Netherlands' public bicycle program, there is no need to fear that their coat will be stolen... because there is no motivation to steal. Since the white Christian coat market has been saturated and everyone already has their own black double-breasted pea coat, any temptation to steal has been suppressed.

The black double-breasted pea coat is the white Christian's best guess as to the earthly version of a heavenly choir robe. They're unisex, simple, stylish, and timeless. An 80 year old woman and a 13 year old girl could wear the same coat to church, and not think anything of it. What other article of clothing can make such a bold claim?
email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-59010321057964301052010-11-20T23:59:00.000-06:002010-11-21T00:12:22.924-06:00#105 Health and Wealth
The Bible is filled with people who followed God's will, only to be put in fiery furnaces, beheaded, stoned, or crucified. Naturally, many white Christians interpret this to mean that if they put their faith in God, they will be rewarded with health and wealth all of their days.

And not just health and a comfortable living, mind you, but anything your heart desires! Ferrari? Beach house? Season six of the Office on DVD? Just "name it and claim it" and God has to give it to you - it's in the Bible... somewhere. Limited numbers of Word-Faith type church members have had sports cars magically appear in their driveways, but it's an entirely different story for the pastors of these churches.

Prosperity theology is quite the deal for charismatic pastors like Joel Osteen and Jim Baker. As long as the congregation believes that a winning lottery ticket is only a bigger tithe away, at least the pastor will be living his best life now.

Abraham Calvinhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-37502198098861715592010-11-13T23:59:00.007-06:002010-11-14T08:21:18.762-06:00#104 Telling People That They're Going to Hell
Hell. Eternal damnation. Separation from God for all of eternity. The lake of fire. With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing. And the heat. It's pretty much the worst possible place that you could be. As terrible as this place is, many white Christians love telling people that Hell is precisely where they're going.

Judgemental? Sure. In-your-face? You bet. But you know what else is judgemental and in-your-face? The firey fires of Hell. Boom - suck on that nugget of truth for a few moments! Not as creamy and delicious as you thought was it? Check and mate!

Once a white Christians has told their first person that they're going to "H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks," it's really a slippery slope of judgmental joy. Pretty soon, they're telling anyone who disagrees with them, looks different from them, or even minorly inconveniences them that they're going to Hell. It's only a matter of time before the judgmental white Christian claims that all Democrats are going to Hell, all Republicans are going to Hell and that guy that cut you off in traffic is going to Hell. They especially like telling Bloggers that they are going to Hell (anonymously).

Upon instructing the lost that they are, in fact, on a highway to Hell, the white Christian is then able to elevate their standing by informing the lost sheep that they are praying for their soul. It's through welcoming techniques like this that the white Christian seeks to save the lost.
email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-29564939386534108462010-11-06T23:59:00.002-05:002010-11-06T23:59:00.393-05:00#103 Fill-in-the-Blank Sermon Notes

Since every contemporary white Christian sermon is generally taught at a 2nd grade level (often as simple as "Jesus Loves You and So Do We") white Christian pastors figure that they should allow a note-taking style that is becoming to that of a 2nd grader. That's where fill-in-the-blank sermon notes come in handy.

When the mind starts to wander, pastors know that those blessed little blanks will bring 'em back. Expert level white Christians will have entered the church building prepared. Having previously received the scripture text in the church's weekly e-mail newsletter (and having subsequently read and/or memorized said text), this expert level white Christian will enter into their own little game of "predict the blank before the pastor says it aloud."

 The golf pencil graphite will etch below the blank, and any correct predictions will result in a nudge in the ribs or a knowing glance to the white Christian family member sitting next to them. Conversely, malcontents in middle school might use the blanks as their own little personal game of "mad-libbs."

As if blanks weren't enough to keep the attention the blanks are digitally filled in on the screen so that white Christians can keep up.

Well-intentioned white Christians tell themselves that they will take the completed notes (or "answer key") home and place it inside their Bible or post it on their refrigerator. More than likely, however, these notes will be jettisoned during post-worship refreshments. There's only so much that a white Christian can hold onto. With a cup of coffee in one hand and a cookie/napkin combo in the other, the long-term storage of sermon notes for future contemplation is a necessary sacrifice.

email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-82687454584672867432010-10-30T23:59:00.002-05:002010-10-31T00:25:47.560-05:00#102 Vague Bible Quotes

During conversation among white Christians, throwing out a quote from the Bible is welcome at any time. Regardless of the topic of discussion, a little bit of memorized scripture is always appropriate. While expert-level white Christians will execute their Bible quotation flawlessly, most white Christians are too far removed from Sunday School to be able to cite chapter and verse, or even remember the exact phrasing.

Instead, they will start with "Like the Bible says..." and then offer up something that sounds vaguely familiar and Bible-ish to the other church-going people in the vicinity. These Bible-quoters knows they are mangling the verse, but as long as they can muster at least fifty percent accuracy, the others will nod approvingly.

The Bible is the ultimate authority, so citing scripture is the perfect response to any problem or question raised in conversation with others. A half correct Bible verse has at least some words that are in the Bible, surely this is better than saying something that isn't in the Bible at all.
Abraham Calvinhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-69390842032765087052010-10-23T23:59:00.005-05:002010-10-25T17:10:53.178-05:00#101 Gender Neutrality
Many within white Christendom have discovered that there are way too many male figures in their Bibles. In an effort to correct this rare Biblical "error" from this infallible Book, inclusion, diversity, and political correctness are valued over hermeneutical accuracy. Just about any general reference to gender is neutered. While this movement is well intentioned, it definitely ruins the recitation of previously memorized Bible verses.

Take John 15:5 for instance. If you've ever memorized this verse previously, try to navigate through this verbal mine-field: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man person remain in me and I in him him/her, he he/she will bear much fruit."

This rote-memory-vs.-newer-version-conundrum mirrors the familiar public Lord's Prayer indecision. When attending a non-native church and the Lord's Prayer is liturgically spoken, the white Christian is always forced to wonder, is it "Forgive us our..."

"Debts as we forgive our debtors?"

"Trespasses as those who trespass against us?"

"Sins as we forgive those who sin against us?"

No matter what the white Christian TRIES to say with their co-congregants, rote memorization from years of doing it "the right way" will take over, and the wrong phrase will be invariably uttered- much to the embarrassment of all within earshot.

More than just making Biblical laymenpeople into gender neutral eunuchs, these white Christians have the castrated cajones to turn God into a woman. Using that one reference in Isaiah, this father/mother God is little more than a back-door approach toward women serving in church office- "Hey... if God is father/MOTHER, then maybe it's not such a bad thing for Barb to serve as an Elder."

On the other end of the white Christian spectrum, you have the literalists who not only use the Father symbolism, they literally picture God the Father as a dude: Beard. Flowing robe. Sandals. He's viewed as a really old man floating on a cloud and taking care of things on earth below. These people might even blasphemously refer to their Creator as "The Big Man Upstairs."

email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-62697383626150430092010-10-16T23:59:00.002-05:002010-10-17T16:20:42.041-05:00#100 Reformation Day

As much as the white Christian loves candy, he isn't about to celebrate the occult in order to satisfy his sweet tooth on October 31st. Besides, there is another holiday falling on the same day as Halloween that is every bit as much fun: Reformation Day.

Children in the public schools celebrate Halloween by making jack-o'-lanterns, eating candy corn, and worshipping ghosts and goblins, presumably (white Christians aren't quite sure what goes on in these public schools, but it's not good). Christian school kids, on the other hand, spend the day coloring pictures of Martin Luther and John Calvin and nailing scotch-taping the 95 Theses to the classroom door.

Some white Christians seek to redeem Halloween by wrapping tracts around the candy they pass out to trick-or-treaters, but the preferred method of claiming Halloween for the kingdom is dressing your kids up as Bible characters. Unfortunately, all Bible character costumes tend to come out the same - just a beard, a robe and a staff. "Hey, nice Abraham costume." "I'm Elijah, you moron."

Abraham Calvinhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-58914126108902204082010-10-09T23:59:00.004-05:002010-10-09T23:59:00.222-05:00#99 Knowing the Motions to Praise Songs, but Not Doing Them
White Christian music has a strong tradition of visual imagery and many praise songs have motions. When the hands-free PowerPointed lyrics replaced the cumbersome hymnals white Christians were now able to do something with their hands. Some white Christians settled on a designated worship stance, while others took to synchronizing motions with praise songs.

From Sunday School's "Father Abraham" to Audio Adrenaline's "Big House," motions during praise songs remind white Christians to move various appendages while singing, and to pantomime the throwing of a ball in "A big, big yard where we can play football."

And yet... praise song motions seem relegated to Sunday School or summer-time Bible camp. Occasionally, a worship leader will awkwardly attempt to force-feed motions to a full congregation, but this is ill-received and oft-ignored.

If a white Christian doesn't know the motions to a song-there's no worry as the vast majority of praise songs are so repetitive that they'll be well aware of the intended motions by the fifth time the chorus rolls around. Once they know the expected motions, the white Christian is free to ignore them like the rest of the white Christians sitting next to them. For instance, there are very distinct motions to the popular praise song "Days of Elijah," (motions here) that white Christians have learned along the way. However, just because they know the motions to "Behold he comes, riding on a cloud, shining like the sun, at the trumpet call, lift your voice," doesn't mean that they will actually act them out.

For white Christians desperate to learn the latest praise song motions, they can always learn motions from online video tutorials like this:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KTVf2kUc640&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KTVf2kUc640&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-29591002580219462612010-10-02T23:59:00.001-05:002010-10-02T23:59:00.728-05:00#98 Post-Legalism

In the New Testament, Jesus is often found arguing with the religious leaders of that day. These Pharisees were always making up all sorts of new rules for daily living, which made Jesus as angry as a hornet... or a bear, or maybe a bull - whichever animal is angriest. This has not stopped white Christians everywhere from making up their own extra-biblical rules about alcohol, dancing or rock music. This tendency, coupled with how popular culture portrays Christians as judgmental hypocrites, is vexing to white Christians.

Adulterers, drug users and the like used to be the most looked down upon evil-doers, but no more. Now the legalists, with their lists of do's and don'ts, are enemy number one. Clearly, if something is wrong, the exact opposite is right, so white Christians have replaced performance based Christianity with anything goes Christianity.
After switching from legalism to license, not only do you get to do anything you want without judgment from your fellow believers, you also get to feel a sense of superiority over legalistic Christians. These white Christians quickly transition from being thankful that they aren't like those sinners who watch Jersey Shore and go to the mall on Sundays to thanking God that they're not like those smug pharisees.

Abraham Calvinhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-63054495421943605842010-09-25T23:59:00.009-05:002010-09-26T08:31:37.601-05:00#97 Designated Worship Stances
Once a church transitions to contemporary worship, every white Christian faces the solemn responsibility of adopting his or her own designated worship stance.

Worship stances are peculiar things. As much as the white Christian wants to get completely spiritually wrapped up in the worship moment, they can't help but to allow their social inhibitions to get in the way. Whenever white Christians face a dilemma like this, structure is the name of the game. This has lead to the adoption of 6 acceptable designated worship stances. SWCL takes an in-depth look at these 6 favorites:

Stance: The Nothing-But-The-Truth

Technique: One Hand Raised

Details: Simple, elegant, demonstrative- the gold standard of worship stances. The Nothing-But-The-Truth screams, "Yeah, I know that this makes you uncomfortable, but that's your problem... not mine." Interestingly, the NBTT can be a "gateway stance." Once white Christians take the plunge into raising one hand, soon they will be experimenting with harder stances. The NBTT is the go-to stance for white Christians.

Stance: The Touchdown Jesus

Technique: Both Hands Raised

Details: If one raised hand is good, it stands to reason that two raised hands is better. Frankly, if human beings could evolve a third arm, white Christians would experiment with raising this arm as well. Only expert level white Christians should attempt this bold proclamation that combines spiritual emotionalism with "look at me" attention grabbing gestures. Touchdown Jesus stance is only for the sure.

Stance: The Self-Hug

Technique: Self-explanatory

Details: Warm, emotionally intimate, and humble. Perhaps best of all for the social-conscious, this stance goes on virtually undetected by those in close proximity. For single-and-ready-to-mingle white Christians, anything that draws other's eyes to an embrace of your body can't possibly be a bad thing.

Stance: The Gratitude

Technique: Palms Upheld

Details: Where other hand-centric stances rise above eye level, The Gratitude allows the white Christian to do something with their hands without actually distracting anyone outside of their row. Any song that involves the word "thank" is perfect for this stance. Many Touchdown Jesus stances repetitiously downgrade to this stance during the less-peppy verses, only to jump back into Touchdown Jesus for the louder (and therefore far-more-spiritual) chorus. The Gratitude is a great middle-ground stance which features a perfect combination of self-confidence and humility that all white Christians crave.

Stance: The Nonchalant

Technique: Hands in Pockets or held together behind back

Details: Power is the name of the game here. Clenching a fist behind the back shows those other sissy stances who's boss. Rocking a hand or two in pockets keeps this "silent assassin" representing the old school. As a fringe benefit, having your hand on your wallet is always a good reminder about the upcoming offering.

Stance: The Literalist

Technique: Body and words are one- a veritable worshiping mime

Details: This stance is either for the career white Christian, or the recent, on-fire convert. Not for the meek, all eyes within a 50 foot radius will be upon the literalist. This stance takes a much more literal attitude to worship lyrics and physically does whatever the lyrics call for. For instance, "We fall down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus" is accompanied by literally laying down (and removing any crowns where applicable). "We stand and lift up our hands," is accompanied by literally standing and lifting up hands.

**Don't forget to take our poll listing YOUR designated worship stance**

firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-27868082268642101922010-09-18T23:59:00.003-05:002010-09-19T00:14:59.577-05:00#96 Social Justice

White Christians are deeply bothered by sin in society. However, those in secular society don't much like it when white Christians discuss abortion, sex before marriage, or homosexuality - it's not politically correct. Speaking out about against poverty, on the other hand, is like denouncing those couples who sit on the same side of a booth when no one is on the other side: it's something everyone can agree on.

"Caring for the poor" isn't terribly nuanced or sophisticated though, nor is it very specific, so many white Christian churches seized upon the term "social justice" as a substitute. This was all going along swimmingly until the political commentator Glenn Beck urged his viewers to abandon these churches, arguing that social justice was just disguised left-wing politics (and as such, equal to Nazism and communism).

Left-wing churches became very angry that their schemes were being revealed, while non-political churches were angry to find out that the trendy phrase they were using to mean "caring for the poor" actually could mean left-wing ideology. Other churches were angry to find out that "caring for the poor" by voting for greater income redistribution is considered a political stance. And the white Christians who select their churches based on the advice of Mormon political commentators were angry that the social justice types were angry. In short, everyone was angry.

Thus the common purpose that white Christians sought with secular society and each other was all for naught. This lack of agreement could easily spread to other issues. In the future, it's possible that not only will couples be able to share the same side of a half empty booth without derision, but these same couples, when talking to their pets, will be allowed to refer to themselves as "mommy and daddy."

Abraham Calvinhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-34764950560869513782010-09-11T23:59:00.003-05:002010-09-11T23:59:00.456-05:00#95 God ThingsIf you are approached by a white Christian with a twinkle in his eye, brace yourself - you are about to hear of an experience that can only be described as a "God Thing." God Things will not be held a secret for long. No matter how arcane the back story, God Things demand to be shared with the nearest white Christian within ear shot.

What is the difference between "God Things" and "Good Things"? One "O." That is it.

God Things have many variations. They can apply to anything from finding spare change on the ground to miraculous conversion experiences. Interestingly enough, despite God's obvious omnipotence, God Things are not typically linked to bad things or natural disasters - that is so Old Testament. For instance, not one white Christian ever exclaimed, "Wow, that Hurricane Andrew was a total God Thing," or "Remember when Becky pooped her pants in second grade? God Thing." On the other hand, any silver lining to these clouds WILL be deemed "God Things." As in, "Remember when that family was displaced by Hurricane Andrew and a Christian family took them in? That was a God Thing." Just to recap - hurricane: not a God Thing. Good stuff that resulted from the negativity of the hurricane: God Thing.

In addition to the many variations of God Things, there are also varying degrees of God Things. Depending on the level of divine intervention involved, a white Christian may soon be telling everyone they know about a standard God Thing or a "Total God Thing."

email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-23627069586212639902010-09-04T23:59:00.002-05:002010-09-04T23:59:00.514-05:00#94 Hipster Christianity
White Christians will not rest until every man, woman, and child attends church on Sunday morning. The young have to go - their parents make them. People with families will be there - where else will they meet other people with kids? But the people in between, those aged 18-29, are no where to be found. After years of hand wringing, white Christians have finally found a solution: hipster churches.

These white Christians have little interest in anything that isn't relevant. Hipster churches provide a relevant alternative to boring old normal church by holding services in bars or old theaters. These services are lead by a young, independent thinking pastor with messy hair, thick rimmed glasses and skinny jeans.

All the normal hipster stuff is well documented: the cultivated coolness of wearing clothes from thrift shops and American Apparel, only listening to the right Radiohead albums and going through each day with a world weary expression on your face. However, in addition to the ability to properly critique mainstream society, white Christian hipsters must also master the appropriate hipster reaction to Christianity and Christian culture.

Being adequately rebellious against mainstream Christianity is easy. Read a little Donald Miller, N.T. Wright, or if you're really cool, G.K. Chesterton. But what about all the CCM you've come to know and love during your mainstream Christian upbringing? Not a problem: listening to your old DC Talk cassettes ironically actually enhances your white Christian hipster bonafides.
Abraham Calvinhttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-10173959378851437782010-08-28T23:59:00.000-05:002010-08-28T23:59:00.068-05:00#93 Worn Bible EnvySince the advent of theater seating, Bibles have been progressively been removed from the sanctuary. The pew slot no longer exists for congregations to pick up the Bible on the fly.

While the removal of the Word of the Lord from the hands of believers might seem like a negative to the outside observer, there is a silver-lining to this bizzaro-Gutenberg cloud- it encourages white Christians to bring their personal Bible from home. This home Bible has proven to be the ultimate status symbol of white Christendom.

While some white Christians merely lean on the PowerPointed scripture, expert level white Christians proudly flash their personal, devotional Bibles that have been ravaged by time, the elements, and in what can only be described as "extreme devotional use." The once smooth leather cover is cracked, tarnished, and perhaps even contains some sort of make-shift adhesive to hold things together.

This weathered Bible has been on countless retreats with varying levels of paper-warping moisture and general grit. The phrase "paper-thin" really doesn't do justice to the page width of your average Bible. Tissue- level width is really a more accurate description... and tissue is not the most durable of material. Ripped pages, frayed edges, or even broken binding is par for the course.

Pieces of bulletin notes from a thousand sermons are crammed in between pages, placing undue stress on the Good Book's delicate binding. Flipping open to any passage will reveal scribbled notes within the margins and highlighted text.

Some white Christian churches even have liturgy that designates time in worship for white Christians to showcase their person Bibles:

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Envious white Christians have been known to attempt to accelerate the time-wearing process by treating their personal Bible with reckless abandon. As long as no other white Christian witnesses this abuse, that Bible'll be looking appropriately worn in no time.
firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-28885775625623926762010-08-21T23:59:00.002-05:002010-08-21T23:59:00.185-05:00#92 Sharing a Knowing Glance
For white Christians that are weak enough to be married, the intimacy of marriage allows them to know virtually every miniscule detail about their mate. While this level of knowledge brings the couple close, it also allows each mate to use this data for their own gain.

When the pastor makes a point, this is prime-time for sharing a knowing glance. A wife turns, raises a single eyebrow, and smirks at husband as if to say, "See??" or "I told you so," or "Remember when you did that exact thing?"

This can go back and forth over any topic, including inside jokes, taking scripture out of context for humorous purposes, or legitimately trying to prove a point to your mate.

Depending on the severity of the connection, the knowing glance may sometimes be accompanied by an "I told you so" smirk or even a gentle elbow nudge to the ribs. If a husband's arm is around his wife, a specific pastor comment might induce a friendly shoulder-rub to communicate that extra level of non-verbal "I'm right."

The ultimate back-and-forth marital knowing glance sermon is when Ephesians 5 roles around. This is a veritable ping-pong match of knowing glances. Undoubtedly, wives will face a knowing glance upon hearing "Wives submit to your husbands." This is the key piece of Biblical evidence that every white Christian husband needs to support his claim that "it's not a big deal" that his dirty socks are piling up on the bedroom floor.

However sweet it is, the husband's victory is short-lived as his temporary gloat-glance is interrupted by the continuation of the passage, "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church." When this line is uttered, his world crumbles. His wife's knowing glance is radiant. Long before WWJD bracelets, this century's old glance indicated to husbands that, "I'll tell you exactly what Jesus would be doing-picking up his socks off of the bedroom floor!"
email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-12448744541005466902010-08-17T23:59:00.001-05:002010-08-17T23:59:00.317-05:00Stuff White Christians LINK: 2nd Amendment BibleKudos to the Onion for yet another funny article (here).firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-27647041858532934342010-08-14T23:59:00.003-05:002010-08-14T23:59:00.244-05:00#91 The End Times

For some white Christians, the Gospels and Letters of the New Testament are a little tame. Miracles, people rising from the dead, casting out demons? These white Christians shrug their shoulders and yawn. They prefer their devotionals to be filled with the terrifying dragons, beasts, and horsemen of Revelation.

There are plenty of theological disagreements among white Christians concerning the other "boring" books of the New Testament that are relatively straight forward, so a book as puzzling as Revelation allows for many possible interpretations. Revelation has inspired countless white Christians of the more crazed variety to come up with fantastical exegeses and post them on the internet. The symbolism and cryptic nature this prophetic book guarantee that they can never be proven wrong.

To save you, dear reader, the time of researching the internet's consensus on the meaning of the prophesies of Revelation, here's a summary: the Free Masons are using vaccines and the Large Hadron Collider to control our minds, ensuring that the Antichrist (Jim Tressel) is installed as ruler of the one world government within the next few weeks. If that doesn't happen, don't worry, any combination of earthquakes or floods and the latest news from Israel will signal a cascade of events leading to a different Antichrist taking power and tattooing a bar code onto our foreheads.
Abraham Calvinhttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-48006379109575184702010-08-07T23:59:00.005-05:002010-08-07T23:59:00.244-05:00#90 Facebook Status Evangelism

When they aren't tweeting their way through their trip to Walgreens or posting their bra colors in their status updates, white Christians are crazy about facebook status evangelism. After all, "witness" and "whiteness" are only a couple letters away.

Since the white Christian is exclusively facebook friends with other white Christians, facebook status evangelism really straddles the line between witnessing and bragging. When facebook friends see "You are King of creation and King of my life / Lord of all Lords you will be!," next to a friend's profile picture, they know that this friend has achieved the illusive expert-level of white Christendom. These types of status update are on par with raising both hands during praise songs or direct-depositing your tithes.

White Christians that encounter a friend that has achieved this level are very quick to adapt. When the status update, "Boy is it hot outside," receives zero comments and no "likes," but "Yeshua You reign on high!" gets near unanimous cyber-approval, there's no question which type of update is more likely to be repeated in the near future.

Feeling guilty about being exclusively sharing these status update nuggets of wisdom with other white Christians, white Christians have decided to evangelize the fallen facebook realms by creating fan pages. These groups typically have names like "18 Billion Strong for Christ," (despite the notable issue of a global population of just under 7 Billion and a Christian population of around 2 Billion) or "Jesus is the Lover of 5,000,000 FB souls" (128 people like this).

Interestingly, facebook is one of few social media where white Christians have not segregated sacred from secular (See Youtube/Godtube). It is frankly stunning that no white Christian has started "GoodBook," as an exclusively Christian alternative to Facebook.

While we're on the topic, if you haven't joined the SWCL fan page, please do so. If you're already a fan, share the good news with your friends. We're currently at 541 fans which is roughly 0.000001% of our goal of 13 Billion fans.

firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819096354236218198.post-65861403583181405012010-07-31T23:59:00.004-05:002010-08-01T08:50:42.481-05:00#89 Washing Each Others Feet

White Christians are very fond of the passage in the book of John where Jesus washes his disciples' feet. This act of service has inspired youth pastors everywhere to repeat this ritual with their youth group members. These impressionable youths get the message loud and clear: serving others is gross.

Horny high school boys may disagree, as they jockey for position to wash the feet, ankles and lower calves of the one hot girl in the youth group. However, no one wants to touch 99% of the rest of those sweaty, stinky feet. While the washing of feet was a valued service in Jesus' day, what with walking in sandals all day down dusty trails, today we have shoes and socks. Feet are wonderful anatomic structures for enabling locomotion, however, while in public it is best to honor God for these gifts by keeping your feet in your shoes - out of sight and smell.

White Christians have also taken to performing this routine during their weddings. Inevitably, the ordeal runs long, the music ends, and the bride and groom scramble to get their shoes back on in silence. While waiting, everyone beyond youth group age gives thanks that they will never be required to wash someone else's feet again.

Abraham Calvinhttp://email@example.com


text:
Lisa, thanks for the tips! I will need them. I don't think it actually gets super cold during the day (I've been watching the temps and they are usually high 20s to low 30s at the top of the mountain), but I will be prepared no matter what gets thrown my way.
Tessa, if enter enter doesn't work, try shift-enter. Although enter enter seems to be working for me.
Ginny, your winter tip makes the most sense! But dangit, I want to finish this race and get the jacket. It's Mount Mitchell! Which I admit I didn't even know existed a couple years ago, but still...
No wonder I'm hungry - it's almost 1:00. Off to lunch, then more work on my newsletter and the web site. And not killing my boss, who is driving me crazy.
Since everyone else is blogging: http://karenrunsfar.blogspot.com/Upcoming Races: 2016: BCS Marathon. 2017: Houston Marathon, The Woodlands Marathon, Oklahoma City Marathon and Missoula Marathon (50th one on my 50th birthday). After that, who knows?
Karen-that's even more reason for the smartwool socks and the balaclava. You can fold the bottom up to make it a hat, or into a headband. Or fold down if you need it.
Thanks for the link to the FB page-very nice page. Thanks again to those coordinating...Lisa, Susan, Karen...
Karen, don't worry yet. I even had snow in N GA over the weekend and the "mountains" north of us in NC and TN had even more. Ours is gone already and I'd bet theirs is going/gone, too.
Carol, I haven't decided what I'm doing other than the Tar Heel 10 miler and Tobacco rd half. I'm just trying an adapted beginner marathon plan from Hanson's to increase my miles and help me train. If it goes OK, I'll do Humpy's in Aug in Anchorage by continuing it. I've done the half there several times and enjoy it. I'd like to do one sooner, but can't get excited about any I can still get in and don't want to burn out again. Making cookies with Ali sounds like such fun!
Julie, nice news about your RB moving back. When I think of the Villages, I think of a magazine I was sent a few years ago called Geezer Jock ( I lie not-that was the name!  . It often had the active life style at the Villages featured. After they'd sent it a few times, they wanted me to start paying for it. I didn't was mid 50's then and didn't really consider myself a geezer! Did not subscribe! : )
My uncle died this morning. He had a great life-was 92 and was still driving, cooking, etc until a heart attack last week. He was drafted into the Navy during WW 2 and say Japan's surrender thru a telescope. He liked the Navy and retired. He also was in the WPA during the Depression and get this...planted kudzu around the South.
I'm having trouble concentrating...thus here I am again.. I have a new idea for us to learn something about each other as we remember Karnel. Do you keep a life/bucket list? What is the number 1 (or 2 or 3) item on it? Let's think about it a few days and post them on Thursday or Friday.
Knit Queen
Hi ladies,
Received bad news today. Remember how I complained that I would probably need a root canal? Well, I had my consult with the endodontist today and it is worse that that. I have to have 2 side-by-side teeth extracted because of an infection that caused a lot of bone loss. Hopefully, I can have dental implants put in but I am unsure of that right now. My teeth are such a mess. I definitely inherited my fathers teeth.
I did run yesterday, 3.1 miles. I am going to try a routine of running MWF and then doing XX bike at the gym on TTH. I ought to get in shape with that routine.
Niners lost, boo hoo. They blew the last 5 yards by relying on passing instead of just driving through into the end zone. hopefully Colin Kapernick can come back next year and do more magic. he will have more experience then and won't be such a rookie.
LisaKQ - Ugh on the dental issues.
Tessa - I had the same reaction as LisaMMR to your early positing.....I was picturing you talking very fast and furiously LOL.
LisaMMR - good hints on the winter running....Saturday during my last 5 miles there wasn't much water left in my bottle and sure 'nuff, it froze....gotta love it!
KarenAG - Resort sounds wonderful...enjoy!
Camille - Love the idea about the bucket list posting! Too funny about The Villages! Sometimes people act like "old geezers" in their 40's. The other day at the office an 84 y/o lady told me "I will look much better tomorrow after I get my hair colored and cut" ....loved it!
I am a slacker in the running world....no run for 2 days. Tomorrow I am swimming with one of my RB's (actually - Tri buddy).
Ginnny - Hope your winter slump goes away soon.....
Bad Ass
Hi, girls. Sorry for being so late but I had court all morning, then at the office our internet connection went to shit! The nerve!
I did 10 miles tonight. Coincidentally, thinking of Karnel, my friend that is going through some tough cancer treatments, and the other forumite that passed away this weekend. Like Lisa said, so many friends are gone. But they will be remembered.
Have a nice night, all!
"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire."

subset: commoncrawl


text:
The Fragrance of the Knowledge of Him - A few days ago, I sat across the table from a homeless man who was telling me, with intense feeling and inebriated words, yet still reasoning, that this is an evil world. He was telling me what life was like for him. He was trying with a great deal of passion to describe to me what it's like to live life with one goal in mind . . . (Read the full article.)
The Sabbath's Rest: A Spiritual Discipline - The Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time and season for everything under the sun. Yet there is one couplet I think the author should have included on his list: "there is a time to work and a time to rest." In our overstretched society and with the coming of the personal computer, PDA, blackberry, cell phone and more, work has invaded even the sanctity of the home. As a result, there has been much talk about rest,... (Read the full article.)
Thoughts on Mentoring . . . With Perspective of Age - At this stage of my life, I find myself with about 6 women who consider me a 'mentor' Some of them were assigned by the District Licensing/Ordaining/Consecrating Council because they are in the process of studying for consecration. Some know I am officially retired, so they have asked me to do this ministry, figuring I have more 'free time'. Still others tell me they feel they can relate to me and want my years of wisdom and experience to impact their lives . . . and who can turn that down? (Read the full article.)
2011-2012 Monthly Discipleship Themes - "Simply Fragrant"
2010-2011 Monthly Discipleship Themes - "On the Move"


text:
The paper was written while the first author was based at the Social Epidemiology and Evaluation Research Group, School of Population Health and Sansom Institute for Health Research, University of South Australia, Adelaide, SA 5001.
This article is an open access article distributed under the terms and conditions of the Creative Commons Attribution license (
This study examines the relationships between area-level socioeconomic position (SEP) and the prevalence and trajectories of metabolic syndrome (MetS) and the count of its constituents (
Cardiometabolic disease (
Ample evidence links lower individual-level SEP with a higher prevalence and incidence of elevated cardiometabolic risk factors including MetS [
Few longitudinal studies have examined the trajectories of change in cardiometablic risk factors as they vary according to area-level SEP. Results of available studies are inconsistent. Three US-based longitudinal studies have reported cross-sectional associations between area-level SEP and body mass index (BMI) at baseline [
Individuals can move "in" and "out" of MetS in a given time period, depending on changes in levels of its clinical components. Similarly, the count of individual risk factors that constitute MetS can change over time. Therefore, in assessing how area-level SEP impacts metabolic abnormalities, it is important to evaluate trajectories of change in both MetS and the count of its constituents. This longitudinal study aimed to advance knowledge on the influences of socioeconomic environments on cardiometabolic risk by examining the prevalence and trajectories of MetS and the count of its constituents as clusters of risks and stronger risk markers of cardiometabolic disease and their associations with area-level SEP factors. Our primary hypothesis was that living in areas with a higher level of socioeconomic disadvantage would be associated with a greater increase in the risk of MetS as well as a greater increase in the count of its components over time (hypothesis 1—longitudinal associations). Additionally, given that socioeconomic gradient in the risk of MetS and its components could have been present at the onset of the study, we also tested whether living in areas with a higher level of socioeconomic disadvantage would be associated with a higher prevalence of MetS and a greater count of its components at baseline (hypothesis 2—cross-sectional associations).
This study was conducted as part of the Place and Metabolic Syndrome (PAMS) project, a research initiative that aims to evaluate the relationships between local-area social and built environmental factors and cardiometabolic health. The project draws on the North West Adelaide Health Study (NWAHS), a population-based prospective cohort study designed to provide longitudinal self-reported and clinically measured data on a number of chronic health conditions and disease risk factors [
MetS was defined, using the International Diabetes Foundation criteria [
The spatial unit used to define area-level SEP was the 2001 State Suburb, an Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Census Geographic Unit [
The study region consisted of 154 State Suburbs at baseline. A geographic information system (GIS) was utilised to assign each participant to a State Suburb, based on their Wave 1 georeference. Within each spatial unit, three area-level SEP measures were extracted for analysis from the 2001 Census of Population and Housing [
Individual-level SEP was measured at baseline in terms of self-reported educational attainment (having a post-high school education or not; counterpart to area-level education), annual household income classified as low (<20,000 AUD), middle (20,000–60,000 AUD), or high (>60,000 AUD) (counterpart to area-level income), and employment status (counterpart to the area-level unemployment rate). Employment status was categorized as either "currently in the workforce" (
Physical activity was expressed as Metabolic Equivalence Tasks (METs) in hours per week [
We fitted three-level random intercepts logistic and Poisson regression models to estimate the relationships between each measure of area-level SEP (treated as time-invariant variable) and the trajectories of MetS and its component counts. The multi-level statistical approach allows for the inclusion of participants with one missing clinical visit and the evaluation of both cross-sectional (at baseline) and longitudinal relationships. In these models, measurement occasion (level 1) was nested within participants (level 2) who were nested within State Suburb (level 3). The intercept was treated as random for levels 1 and 2 (representing baseline MetS, its component count, and between-subject variation); slope was specified as random for level 1 only (representing the linear change in each outcome by year and participant's departure from the overall slope). All other parameters were defined as fixed.
All analyses were performed with Stata version 12.0 [
Each area-level SEP measure was tested in four sequential statistical models. First model included time since the first clinical visit (expressed in years), an area-level SEP measure, and their two-way interaction term to estimate the following parameters: (i) odds ratio (OR) and risk ratio (RR) representing changes in outcomes for every year elapsed; (ii) standardised prevalence OR (SOR) and standardised prevalence RR (SRR) respectively, representing the associations between area-level SEP and MetS and its component count at baseline (cross-sectional relationships); and (iii) ratio of SORs/SRRs representing change in outcomes over time in relation to area-level SEP (longitudinal relationships). This model also included age (expressed in years) at baseline and gender, a two-way interaction term between each area-level SEP measure and gender, and a three way interaction term between each area-level SEP measure, gender, and time (Model 1). To test whether area-level SEP had independent associations with MetS and its component count, above and beyond associations with individual-level SEP and health behaviours, subsequent nested models included the counterpart individual-level SEP plus a two-way interaction term between area- and individual-level SEP, and a three-way interaction term between area- and individual-level SEP, and time (Model 2), and behavioural variables (
Participants who moved to another State Suburb prior to the second assessment (n = 599 (17%)) were excluded from analysis. This exclusion ensures that all participants from the same residential area at baseline had been exposed to the same environment for an extended period of time prior to the ascertainment of outcomes. This approach has been recommended to yield a more accurate assessment of exposure to area-level characteristics than would analyses that included participants who moved [
Retention rates of the cohort at Wave 2 and Wave 3 were 79% and 62%, respectively. To explore the possible impact of loss to follow up on our estimates, we examined the distribution of age, gender, and individual-level education, income, and employment status, and area-level SEP characteristics in relation to the number of completed clinical visits.
The sample available for the current analysis contained 2,619 participants (82.5% of 3,175 Wave 1—Wave 2 non-movers) who attended at least two clinical examinations. The median number of participants included per State Suburb was 13, ranging from 1 to 80. The median follow-up time was 3.9 years, varying from 1.8 to 6.2 years between Wave 1 and Wave 2 (n = 2,508), and 8.2 years, varying from 5.5 to 10.3 between Wave 1 and Wave 3 (n = 1,984). Descriptive information on study participants is presented in
MetS prevalence rose slightly from 36.2% at Wave 1 to 37.8% at Wave 2 and to 39.7% at Wave 3. Sixteen percent or more of participants who were free of MetS at Wave 1 or Wave 2 developed MetS at a subsequent wave (MetS incidence). Twenty two percent or more of participants who had MetS at Wave 1 or Wave 2 reversed this status at a subsequent wave (MetS reversal). The average number of MetS components increased from 2.06 at Wave 1 to 2.11 at Wave 2 and to 2.16 at Wave 3 (
Baseline characteristics of participants included in analyses (n = 2,619).
|Low (<20,000 AUD)
|Post-secondary education
|Currently in the workforce
|Not at risk
|Area-level high school education (%)
|Wave 1 (n = 3,175)
|Between Wave 1–Wave 2
|Between Wave 1–Wave 2
|Wave 1
As shown in
Distribution of baseline variables by the number of clinical visits for which MetS status was ascertained.
|One visit
|Two visits
|Three visits
|50.3 (17.7)
|Low (<20,000 AUD)
|Middle (20,000–60,000 AUD)
|High (>60,000 AUD)
|Currently in the workforce
|Not currently in the workforce
|Median % of high school graduates (25th, 75th)
|70.6 (66.0, 77.4)
|70.6 (65.4, 77.4)
|72.3 (67.1, 77.6)
In examining the interaction of area-level SEP with gender or individual-level SEP, only two-way interaction term between area- and individual-level education was statistically significant (
Consistent with hypothesis 2, at baseline, participants living in areas with higher median weekly household income or lower unemployment rate, independent of their own household income or employment status, had a statistically lower odds of having MetS and a lower MetS component count. Specifically, the odds of having MetS was lowered by 24% with the average component count reduced by 4% for each sd increase in median household weekly income, and the odds of having MetS grew by 48% with the average component count increased by 7% for each sd increase in the unemployment rate (Model 2). The associations persisted in the subsequent analysis accounting for health behaviours (Model 3), except for the association between area-unemployment and baseline prevalent MetS where a slight reduction in OR was observed (from 1.53 to 1.48).
The results indicated that the odds of having MetS and its component count tended to increase over time, independent of individual- and area-level SEP factors and health behaviours (for every year elapsed, OR or RR > 1.0). However, the analysis indicated no statistically significant interaction between any measure of area-level SEP and time since the first clinic visit (
Analyses stratified according to individual-level education indicated that, at baseline, the association between area-level education and MetS or its component count was statistically significant only amongst participants with less than a post-high school education. A one sd increase in the proportion of high school graduates corresponded to a 42 % reduction in the odds of having MetS, and a 9 % decrease in the average count of MetS components in this group, even after accounting for health behaviours (Model 3). After controlling for all other individual- and area-level SEP variables (Model 4), however, the association of area-level income and education with each outcome did not remain statistically significant (
Associations between area-level SEP and baseline prevalence and trajectory of MetS.
|Model 1
|Model 2
|Model 3
|Model 4
|Are-level unemployment rate (for 1 sd increase)
|1.66 (1.42–1.96) b
|1.53 (1.30–1.80) b
|1.48 (1.26–1.74) b
|1.46 (1.15–1.87) b
|Proportion of high school graduates (for 1 sd increase)
|0.55 (0.43–0.70) b
|0.58 (0.45–0.73) b
|0.88 (0.57–1.34)
|Proportion of high school graduates (for 1 sd increase)
|0.84 (0.67–1.06)
|0.88 (0.70–1.10)
|1.00 (0.69–1.45)
Notes: Model 1: Testing each SEP variable separately, adjusted for age, gender, time period; Model 2: Testing each SEP variable separately, adjusted for age, gender, time period, and the individual-level counterpart SEP variable; Model 3: Testing each SEP variable separately, adjusted for all variables in model 2 plus physical activity, smoking habit, and alcohol consumption; Model 4: Including all SEP variables and covariates. a
Associations between area-level SEP and baseline prevalence and trajectory of MetS component count.
|Model 1
|Model 2
|Model 3
|Model 4
|Median household weekly income (for 1 sd increase)
|0.92 (0.89–0.96) b
|0.96 (0.93–0.99) a
|0.96 (0.93–0.99) b
|1.04 (0.98–1.11)
|Area-level unemployment rate
|1.09 (1.06–1.12) b
|1.07 (1.05–1.10) b
|1.06 (1.04–1.09)
|% High school graduates (for 1sd increase)
|0.92 (0.89–0.95) b
|0.91 (0.88–0.94) b
|0.99 (0.93–1.05)
|% High school graduates (for 1 sd increase)
|0.97 (0.93–1.01)
|0.96 (0.92–1.00)
|0.99 (0.92–1.05)
Notes: Model 1: Testing each SEP variable separately, adjusted for age, gender, time period; Model 2: Testing each SEP variable separately, adjusted for age, gender, time period, and the individual-level counterpart variable; Model 3: Testing each SEP variable separately, adjusted for all variables in model 2 plus physical activity, smoking habit, and alcohol consumption; Model 4: Including all SEP variables and covariates. a
It is noted that in all statistical models, there were statistically significant associations between individual SEP, smoking, and physical activity with MetS prevalence and its component count at baseline. Specifically, participants without a post high school education, earning a lower income, and not being in the workforce, being a former smoker, and having a lower level of physical activity were more likely than others to have MetS and higher number of its components (data not shown). Alcohol consumption was not consistently associated with these two outcomes.
This study is the first to examine the capacity of area-level SEP factors to predict actual trajectories of change in cardiometabolic risk expressed as MetS and the count of its components. Our results indicate that area-level SEP does not predict differences in trajectories of MetS or its component count over time. The absence of a longitudinal relationship in these analyses is consistent with earlier longitudinal studies that have documented cross-sectional (at baseline) but not longitudinal relationships between a composite index of area-level SEP and trajectories of BMI and systolic blood pressure [
In contrast to the absence of a longitudinal relationship, at baseline, participants living in more socioeconomically advantaged areas (high median household weekly income or low unemployment rate) exhibited, independent of their own income, employment status, or health behaviour, a lesser odds of having MetS and a lesser count of its components compared to participants residing in lower SEP areas. An inverse cross-sectional association between area-level education and all outcomes, however, was only observed for participants without at least a high school education. The lack of differences in trajectories of MetS and its component count according to area-level SEP indicates that the socioeconomic gradient in cardiometabolic risk established at baseline would have persisted over the study period.
It has been proposed that area-level socioeconomic conditions both reflect and shape the social and built environments of one's residential area and thus subsequently affect cardiometabolic risk [
The presence of an interaction between individual- and area-level education at baseline suggests that the adverse effects of lower area-level education, a marker of a less healthful living environment (e.g., with lesser neighbourhood walkability [
The study has important strengths. First, it is the first study using a longitudinal design to evaluate the trajectories of MetS and the count of its clinical components in relation to area-level SEP characteristics. In focusing on several related cardiometabolic risks, the study findings would be more robust compared to previous studies that considered only a single risk marker. Second, the study overcomes shortcomings associated with the use of composite measures of area-level SEP, unraveling relationships to assess the specific, independent effects of key characteristics (
Study limitations should be acknowledged. First, as our analysis indicated, loss to follow-up was more likely for participants having a lower SEP or living in lower SEP areas. This differential loss to follow-up could have diminished the variations in trajectory of cardiometabolic risks in relation to area-level SEP. To evaluate the effects of differential loss follow-up, we conducted a sensitivity analysis, replacing missing data based on the following assumptions: participants who were lost to follow-up at Wave 3 all developed five MetS components if they were from low-SEP areas that had the median household weekly income or the percentage of high school graduates belong to either: (i) the lowest quartile, (ii) two lowest quartiles, or (iii) three lowest quartiles, or the unemployment rate are within either: (i) the highest quartile, (ii) two highest quartiles, or (iii) three highest quartiles, while the remaining participants (from higher SEP areas) who were lost to follow-up at Wave 3 did not develop any MetS components. In all scenarios, our analysis did not find a fundamental change in the point estimate and 95%CI for SORs/SRRs and ratios of SORs/SRRs to either direction from unity. Such consistent findings give confidence that the absence of trajectory differences according to baseline area-level SEP was reliable despite differential loss follow-up.
Second, it is possible that gentrification or changes in the composition of local residents due to movements and flows of the population occurred during follow-up in some areas. These changes can make baseline SEP indicators non-representative of the area environment to which participants were exposed during the follow-up period. Third, as State Suburbs were used as proxies for residential areas, the findings are potentially susceptible to the modifiable area unit problem [
This study extends and confirms prior work that examined the link between area-level SEP factors and trajectories of change in cardiometabolic risk by modelling changes in the risk for MetS and its component count. Together with past studies, the findings raise important questions regarding the relationship between area-level SEP factors and trajectories of change in cardiometabolic risk in adult populations. From adulthood, area-level SEP appears not to be a causal determinant of the evolution of cardiometabolic risk over time. However, our observation of an inverse relationship at baseline that would have persisted over the study period signifies the need for population level interventions for communities defined by area-level socioeconomic disadvantage to reduce prevalence of cardiometabolic risks, such interventions being particularly important for less individually educated residents.
Our study limitations would suggest that in future studies, regular updates of area-level SEP indicators be used to account for possible changes in area-level SEP during the follow-up period. Future studies should also track person-level trajectories of MetS and its clinical components from earlier life stages, prior to the emergence of socioeconomic gradients. Furthermore, future analysis should take into account the length of residence in a particular area and assess the role of area-level SEP factors in conjunction with other environmental factors relevant to cardiometabolic health, such as neighbourhood walkability, safety, social cohesion, and health and social service availability in the trajectories of cardiometabolic risk.
Australian Bureau of Statistics
Australian Dollar
Body Mass Index
Computer-Assisted Interview
Confidence Interval
High-Density Lipoprotein
Metabolic Syndrome
North West Adelaide Health Study
Standardised Odds Ratio
Place and Metabolic Syndrome
Standardised Prevalence Risk Ratio
South Australia
Socioeconomic Position
Standard Deviation
The Social Epidemiology and Evaluation Research Group at the University of South Australia in collaboration with the South Australian Department of Health and Ageing conducted this research under National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) grants #631917 and #570150 (Chief Investigators: Mark Daniel, Graeme Hugo, Catherine Paquet, Robert Adams, Anne Taylor, and Margaret Cargo ). Catherine Paquet was funded by a NHMRC Post-doctoral Training Research Fellowship (#570139). This manuscript has been reviewed for scientific content and consistency of data interpretation by Chief Investigators of the North West Adelaide Health Study (NWAHS). We are grateful for the interest and commitment of cohort participants. We appreciate the contributions of research support staff involved in recruitment and clinical follow-up.
Authors declare that they have no conflict of interests.


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Bainbridge Fall Festival of Leaves Queen Pageant
Girls age 15-18 from several area high schools will compete for title Miss Bainbridge Fall Festival of Leaves Thursday, October 17th. Those schools are Paint Valley, McClain, Hillsboro, Adena, Unioto, Chillicothe, Huntington and Zane Trace.
Pageant Organizer Vicky Mettler says $1,000 worth of scholarships are given out in memory of a former teacher, Loraine Granger.
The pageant at Paint Valley High School is at 8pm and has the theme "Music, Music, Music".
Tickets are available at Lloyd Company in Bainbridge, Paint Valley HS and She Said Yes Bridal in Chillicothe.
WBEX' Dan Ramey is again the emcee of this year's pageant.


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- Europe »
- Netherlands »
- North Holland »
- Amsterdam »
- Crime Radio
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Click here to visit the Station's website:
Crime Radio is a web based internet radio station from Amsterdam that plays Variety genre of music.
Amsterdam - North Holland, Netherlands - Dutch
Songs playing in Crime Radio
In other languages
See this page in French: Ecouter Crime Radio en ligne
See this page in German: Hören Crime Radio online
See this page in Portuguese: Reproduzir Crime Radio ao vivo
See this page in Spanish: Escuchar Crime Radio en vivo


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Feb. 20, 2013, Fairfax, VA—Americans for Limited Government President Bill Wilson today issued the following statement urging the U.S. Senate to reject likely Obama nominee for EPAadministrator, Gina McCarthy, should she be nominated:
"Gina McCarthy's record of mismanagement working for both the Connecticut and Massachusetts environmental protection agencies, coupled with her desire to tell people and companies how they must conduct their business, does not advise her confirmation. The problem with the EPA is not that it lacks staffing, but that it is out of control.
"The EPA is regulating carbon emissions and stormwater without any guidance in the law. It is engaged in a sue-and-settle racket with radical environmentalist groups to expand its powers via judicial assent. And its regulations threaten America's future ability to develop and utilize natural resources, to grow the economy, and to create jobs. This agency is simply too powerful, and operates outside the law.
"Given Obama's State of the Union threat to continue to pursue unilateral executive actions in lieu of climate change legislation, no nominee to the EPA should be confirmed. Rather, bureaucrats there should have to answer for the destruction they are wreaking on the U.S. economy. Unless and until these harmful regulations are rescinded and the sue and settle racket is torn apart, the agency should be defunded, the bureaucrats that work there furloughed, and the offices they work in sold to pay down the deficit."
To view online: http://getliberty.org/alg-urges-senate-to-reject-mccarthy-for-epa-administrator/
ALG Nominee Alert, Gina McCarthy, November 2011 at http://getliberty.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Gina-McCarthy-NomineeAlert.pdf (Note: dated for after she was appointed to Assistant Administrator for the Office of Air and Radiation at the EPA)
"Obama and his rogue EPA," By ALG President Bill Wilson, Feb. 14, 2013 at http://netrightdaily.com/2013/02/obama-and-his-rogue-epa/
Americans for Limited Government is a non-partisan, nationwide network committed to advancing free market reforms, private property rights and core American liberties. For more information on ALG please call us at 703-383-0880 or visit our website at www.GetLiberty.org.


text: The "meta" in "metatronics" refers to metamaterials, the relatively new field of research where nanoscale patterns and structures embedded in materials allow them to manipulate waves in ways that were previously impossible. Here, the cross-sections of the nanorods and the gaps between them form a pattern that replicates the function of resistors, inductors and capacitors, three of the most basic circuit elements, but in optical wavelengths. "If we have the optical version of those lumped elements in our repertoire, we can actually make designs similar to what we do in electronics but now for operation with light," Engheta said. "We can build a circuit with light." http://v2.decipherinc.com/survey/skype/sky11004b?co=us&source=w9iF4yJFJD


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The Nachusa grasslands are located in north central Illinois, and are owned and managed by the Nature Conservancy. This is the finest prairie I have found in the state, and it is only an hour from my home!! Rolling hills, copses of trees and a host of different ecosystems invite the hiker - no bikes or pets (including dogs, unfortunatly). In the summer it is difficult walking through the tall Big Blue Stem, and many areas are very wet!
The United States is one of the most diverse countries on earth, jam packed full of amazing sights from St. Patrick's cathedral in New York to Mount Hollywood California.The Northeast region is where it all started. Thirteen British colonies fought the American Revolution from here and won their independence in the first successful colonial rebellion in history. Take a look at these rolling hills carpeted with foliage along the Hudson river here, north of New York City.The American south is known for its polite people and slow pace of life. Probably they move slowly because it's so hot. Southerners tend not to trust people from "up north" because they talk too fast. Here's a cemetery in Georgia where you can find graves of soldiers from the Civil War.The West Coast is sort of like another country that exists to make the east coast jealous. California is full of nothing but grizzly old miners digging for gold, a few gangster rappers, and then actors. That is to say, the West Coast functions as the imagination of the US, like a weird little brother who teases everybody then gets famous for making freaky art.The central part of the country is flat farmland all the way over to the Rocky Mountains. Up in the northwest corner you can find creative people in places like Portland and Seattle, along with awesome snowboarding and good beer. Text by Steve Smith.


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Went to the dealership for an oil change...
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The Boss of Nobody
Location: Cherry Hill, NJ
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,650
Mein Auto: 2005 ZHP, Wife's Prius
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Originally Posted by
Yea, I just saw this post in the pics thread:
That dealership only charges $412.80 for the Oil Filter Housing gasket replacement. WTF is up with MY price difference? I guess they feel they can get away with it. There WERE, afte rall, people lining up to give them their money...
I had a chat with the Tech after I declined the services and he was very honest with me. I told him that I had an inspection kit in the mail which includes the spark plugs. The OFHG was leaking so little it wasn't even building up on the splash guard, and the I neglected to clean up around the thermostat after the cooling system refresh. I was surprised they didn't find more, guess I'm doing pretty good with my PM work on the car. As soon as you show a bit of knowledge about your vehicle the tech's seem to be plenty talkative.
I would never use the Stealership for any work that I'd have to pay for save a PPI. Find a good independent and you'll find that their labor rate is probably half of the Stealers.
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GMP Wants Speedy Review Of Lowell Wind Project
07/08/10 7:34AM By John Dillon
| Download MP3
(Host) Green Mountain Power wants to get a wind project built in the Northeast Kingdom by the end of 2012 - before federal tax credits expire.
The Vermont Public Service Board formally opened consideration of the project this week. And GMP has proposed an aggressive schedule for the regulatory review.
VPR's John Dillon reports:
(Dillon) Green Mountain Power and Vermont Electric Co-op want to build 21 turbines on the Lowell Mountain ridgeline to produce a maximum 63 megawatts.
GMP wants a decision from the Public Service Board by late April next year. It hopes to begin construction next summer and have the project producing power by the end of 2012.
Company spokesman Robert Dostis says the tight timeline is driven by the possible expiration of federal tax credits. He said the credits are an essential part of the project business plan.
(Dostis) "The production tax credit really makes the project affordable. In the end, it's the customers who pay for this. Our job is to bring the most cost-effective electricity to our customers. Building generation as a utility helps us accomplish that. But what makes the economics work is the availability of that production tax credit."
(Dillon) The federal tax credits are now set to expire at the end of 2012. In the past, Congress has routinely renewed them. But Dostis says GMP cannot just assume that the credits will be extended.
(Dostis) "So we will not buy turbines unless we know either the production tax credit is going to be extended - which by the time we're in the market for the turbines we probably will not know - which means then that we have to be assured that we can have those turbines up and running by the end of 2012, so we can take advantage of those incentives."
(Dillon) Project opponents have asked the PSB for more time to conduct studies and gather information. Jared Margolis represents the Lowell Mountain Group. He pointed out that GMP has already filed 1,300 pages of documents with the board.
(Margolis) "The petitioners' proposed schedule has us pre-filing testimony at the end of September. That is not very long from now, and is just absolutely not enough time for us to do what we need to do to be ready for that."
(Dillon) Lowell resident Don Nelson was also at the PSB hearing. His family farm is at the foot of Lowell Mountain, and Nelson worries about the project's environmental and aesthetic impact.
(Nelson) "To me the worst thing we can do in the state of Vermont is throw away our mountains. They want to blast the tops of the mountains, put up these things. And he admitted right there the only reason he's doing it is for tax credits and stuff like that. We're planning our energy future on subsidies that are going to come to an end."
(Dillon) GMP says the project can be built with minimal impact on the environment or the views in the Northeast Kingdom.
The Public Service Board said it will set a schedule soon in the Lowell Mountain case.
For VPR News, I'm John Dillon in Montpelier.


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If you've heard any of Nozinja's productions on the Shangaan Electro record that we posted about here, (just released on Honest Jons), you'll know he has not only crazy production skills but a great ear for a hook. The album is an absolute stormer end to end and was compiled by Outside Music/Afropop Worldwide's Wills Glasspiegel who also signed Janka Nabay & The Very Best. Check out Will's interview with Nozinja below. Nozinja has also turned his hand to vocals on one of the tracks which is definitely one of the highlights for me, his melodic vocals soaring over high speed shangaan instrumentation. Anyways I can't recommend this record enough. Also buyable digitally on itunes etc.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Richard 'Nozinja' Mthetwa
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Rock, Paper, Shotgun
Genki Video Games
Call of Duty 2 is better was my reccurring thought during my time with Call of Duty 3. Infinity Ward, having moved on to other Call of Duty business, left the developers of confusing last-but-somewhat-current-generation-not-real-sequel-sequel Call of Duty 2: Big Red One, Treyarch, in charge of bringing the franchise into this new generation of consoles. I miss Infinity Ward.
Immediately noticeable upon booting up is that Call of Duty 3 is a pretty game. In fact, its not just a pretty game: its a very pretty game. Its one of those games that actually looks better in action than the typically too-good-looking-to-be-authentic screenshots and TV spots. Its almost too glossy, with a war-torn Europe looking like someone went through and polished up the rubble. Still, its damn pretty and will give HDTV owners yet another title to show off.
Shortly after admiring the glossy shine, youll also note that the game starts off just right: with a bang. Immediately after learning the basics, youre tossed in a transport truck and right into the thick of things. At this point, I thought that I was in for possibly just possibly an even better experience than its fantastic predecessor had offered. It didnt take long for me to realize that it wasnt meant to be.
At first, though, things go great. Youre rushing around with your fellow Allied soldiers, cooking and tossing back grenades, smacking Axis troops with the butt of your gun, and generally just trying to find your way around the loud explosions, muzzle flashes, dirt and concrete and bodies flying around you; just the sort of mayhem that you would expect. You even get to experience one of the new cinematic activities new to the series: a German soldier jumps out at you as you walk through a doorway, grabbing your gun, initiating a quick time event-esque activity you have to tap the corresponding on-screen buttons for your gun, and your life. These events arent hard, and after a few clicks of the shoulder buttons and a face button or two, you introduce the soldier to the less formal end of your rifle even checking out the damage his face did on the gun. Yeah, things are going really well at this point.
Its a few minutes after that when you start to realize that something isnt quite right. The battlefield has become significantly smaller, forcing you and your comrades into tight situations that have been prepped and primed by the enemy. The game quickly no longer becomes a challenge so much as an exercise in frustration. Instead of being able to maneuver, the wiggle room of part two is absent, making a majority of the game feel as if youre one of those moving wooden ducks in a shooting gallery. This is prevalent throughout the game, with very few instances where you can take a little bit of initiative with the freedom of movement to actually get something done other than die a lot. There is a very strong push feeling throughout, as though the developers have these set-pieces they created and liked so much that they want to force you to play through regardless of how congestive or aggravating it feels.
The lack of maneuverability is a problem as-is, but it becomes a fairly big problem once you realize that Nazi Germany has found a way to clone troops in houses (the great clown car effect) and also make their men impervious to bullets. Granted, I played through the game on a harder difficulty, but a hard difficulty is no excuse to have your bullets completely miss an enemy that is two feet away; oddly enough, you can be devastatingly accurate by shooting from the hip, knocking enemies off rooftops and towers, and completely miss them when zoomed up and carefully aiming. There were times when I unloaded full clips into enemy troops, only to have them turn around and dispense death upon me with a few rounds. Then there are the moments when you get to watch dozens of troops run out of a single house, or some just magically appear in a blocked-off room. The AI took a noticeable dip as well, with enemies not taking the kind of cover they should and sometimes being fairly lackadaisical with their returning fire. Instead of being smart, the enemies were just given more men, fantastic aim, and the benefit of the doubt.
This is also the first entry into the main series where the game isnt broken up into significant portions. Instead of playing as, say, America, Britain, and then Russia, you jump from American troops, to Canadian Highlanders, to Polish Tankers, to British commandos (always commandos). There is a loose story here that ties all of the units together through assisting each other or through being in the same areas, but it jumps around so much that its disjointed, making it more jarring than anything else. I am glad to see Poland and Canada getting into the action though a nice change of pace.
Some elements from previous titles have also been tweaked. There are still portions that involve manning a stationary turret, and while there are no bombers this time, now get to drive the jeep instead of just manning the gun on it. The driving portions can be somewhat confusing, since the layouts of the towns are maze-like and the objectives on the map have a hard time compensating for that, but its a nice addition to help break up the series. The driving portions arent too exciting, but they arent used so much that they wear out their welcome, either. There are other cinematic portions as well, to further the theatrical feel and style of its predecessors, which include more quick time events for planting bombs and working equipment. These often provide brief moments of reprieve since the damage inflicted during this time doesnt kill. Trying to increase the theatrics wasnt necessarily a bad call, but after a while it felt more like a chore than anything else.
One annoyance I had was with the unskippable cutscenes. Having to sit through the same story sequence once or twice might not be a problem, but considering how often I died (and you will die often), sitting through the same one for the eleventh or twelfth time significantly changes things. The cutscenes are often set a little back from the checkpoint, so you get to sit through an unexciting story sequence and then hoof it back to where you were. Needless to say, there were a lot of Cmooooooooooooooon! moments.
The single-player campaign isnt terrible - its still better than what you would find in the Medal of Honor series. The problem is that its just such a step down from Call of Duty 2 that disappointment with the series progression is inevitable. There are a handful of levels that are done well, providing the kind of excitement that its predecessor offered throughout, but to say its on par with Call of Duty 2, an absolutely solid foundation to build upon, would be a mistake.
The multiplayer portion has been revamped and provides a significantly different experience. Now a class-based system, troops have kits, providing special abilities and equipment. There are riflemen, light and heavy assault troops, medics, support, anti-tank, and scouts. For example, the rifleman no longer has the standard grenades, but ones that launches from their guns as well. There are also landmines, the ability to drop ammo, and two significant additions: the ability to run (absent and missed in single-player) and copious amounts of vehicles (tanks, transport trucks, motorcycles, etc.) to drive. The objectives are standard deathmatches and flags, flags and deathmatches but the action is fast and the connections smooth. I did have a problem connecting to Player Ranked games via a quick connection, with the result being me lonely and going to custom game and searching from there. This is definitely an area thats a step above its 360 predecessor.
Overall: 7/10
In many respects, Call of Duty 3 is a good game, possibly even a pretty good game. However, as an entry into the Call of Duty franchise, specifically as a sequel to the phenomenal second release, it is a marked downturn. When Infinity Ward and Activision stepped on the scene and took the rug out from EAs Medal of Honor, they really took the ball and ran with it. Some of the ports werent great, but the core series has been more of an experience than just a game. A few of the complaints I have against three are problems present in two, but a sequel is supposed to fix, refine, and uplift the series, not leave problems and confine a war to a very narrow on-screen path.


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Join Laura Bergells for an in-depth discussion in this video Final inspiration, part of Public Speaking Foundations.
Throughout this course we've covered a number of techniques that can help you…become a more effective speaker.…I often emphasize the importance of developing confidence.…Your confidence will grow as you gain more experience.…Remember, you don't have to be perfect when you present.…In fact, perfection is highly overrated.…A few mistakes here and there make you human.…So if you've made a presentation misstep, go easy on yourself.…A flub or two in delivery probably won't make or break your career.…
Instead, learn from your mistakes and move on.…Learning and growing from your experience is exactly how you develop the…confidence you need to become an effective public speaker.…
Lynda.com is a PMI Registered Education Provider. This course qualifies for professional development units (PDUs). To view the activity and PDU details for this course, click here.
The PMI Registered Education Provider logo is a registered mark of the Project Management Institute, Inc.
- Identifying your audience
- Developing credibility
- Introducing an agenda
- Exploring five strong opening techniques
- Developing great body language
- Understanding room dynamics
- Handling questions and answers
- Getting feedback

- The PMI Registered Education Provider logo is a registered mark of the Project Management Institute, Inc.
Skill Level Beginner
Q: Where can I learn more about communication skills?
A: Discover more on this topic by visiting communication skills on lynda.com.


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You may have heard that under current law a variety of federal taxes are scheduled to increase effective Jan. 1, 2013. Two of those taxes are the federal estate and gift taxes. Under current law, each U.S. citizen or resident enjoys a $5.12 million exemption from estate and gift tax; the value of an estate or a gift in excess of the exemption is subject to tax at a rate of 35 percent. Effective Jan. 1, 2013, the exemption decreases to $1 million, and the rate increases to 55 percent. As stark as those figures may be, for most of us they beg more fundamental questions. This article addresses a few of the most common questions.
Q: What is the federal estate tax?
A: The federal estate tax is a tax on your right to transfer assets at your death. The "death tax." In general, all assets that you own or control are includable in your estate for estate tax purposes and subject to estate tax at your death.
Q: What is the federal gift tax?
A: The federal gift tax is a tax on your right to gratuitously transfer assets during your life to or for the benefit of another individual. To the extent you transfer an asset during your life and do not receive the fair market value of that asset in exchange, you have made a gift subject to gift tax.
Q: Does an individual enjoy two $5.12 exemptions — one against the estate tax and another against the gift tax?
A: No. The exemptions are unified under current law. To the extent you use the exemption to shield gifts from tax during life, the exemption available at death to shield the estate from estate taxes is reduced. For example, if an individual made $3 million of gifts last year and then died this year, the individual's estate would have $2.12 million in exemption ($5.12 total exemption minus $3 million exemption used last year). Of course, a married couple enjoys a $10.24 million collective exemption under current law. This becomes $2 million on Jan. 1, 2013.
Q: What about my ability to make gifts of $13,000 per year?
A: This is referred to as the "annual exclusion," which used to equal $10,000 and has increased to $13,000. In general, a donor-individual can transfer up to $13,000 each year to each of as many individuals as the donor pleases without having to report the gifts (assuming no gifts other than annual exclusion gifts were made in the year in question). The annual exclusion does not count against the exemption — it is separate and distinct from the exemption.
Q: What are the income tax characteristics of a gift?
A: A gift is not included in the gross income of the donee. In general, the donee takes a "carry-over" (income tax) basis in the asset received by gift, typically meaning that donor's cost of the asset is the donee's income tax basis in the asset. In other words, any unrealized gain in the asset is preserved in the hands of the donee — the IRS is still going collect the capital gain tax when the asset is ultimately sold.
Q: What assets are included in my estate for estate tax purposes?
A: In general, everything you own yourself or through a Revocable Trust (addressed below) including IRAs and insurance policies. Many individuals are surprised to learn that the death benefit on a life insurance policy is includable in the insured's estate if the insured owned the policy during his or her life. For example, if you have a $1 million term life insurance policy on your life, the $1 million that is payable upon your death is included in your estate and subject to estate tax at your death despite the fact that from your perspective the policy was likely a liability during your life.
Q: What are the income tax characteristics of an inheritance (i.e., assets received from someone's estate)?
A: An inheritance is not included in the gross income of the heir. In general, the heir takes a carry-over basis in the inherited asset (although, in general, the basis is increased to the extent of estate tax paid, if any, with respect to the asset).
I don't make gifts other than annual exclusion gifts, and I don't expect that my estate will be subject to estate tax upon my death. Do I need a Will?
Yes, you need a Will in addition to other basic documents. In Arizona, there are four generally recommended estate planning documents: a pour over Will, Revocable Trust, Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Power of Attorney / Living Will.
A Will is a written document that directs the distribution of an individual's assets upon his or her death. A Will also nominates guardians for minor or incapacitated children. If an individual dies without a Will, any assets in the name of the individual that do not otherwise transfer by operation of law (e.g., by beneficiary designation or joint ownership) will be distributed to various family members according to the laws of intestacy. A Will is subject to probate. The individual making the Will may be amend or revoke it at any time for any or no reason.
A Revocable Trust is a legal arrangement where a Trustee (i.e., the person that administers the Revocable Trust) takes titled to assets previously titled in the name of the settlor (i.e., the person creating the Revocable Trust). The settlor and the Trustee is typically the same person. The terms of the trust agreement — the document that creates the Trust — govern who will serve as Trustee, and who gets what property when.
A Revocable Trust is a Will substitute; when one creates a Revocable Trust, typically one also creates a so-called "pour over" Will that directs than any assets not in the Revocable Trust at death be transferred to the Revocable Trust. The pour over Will also designates guardians for minor or incapacitated children.
A Durable Power of Attorney allows you to appoint one or more agents to act on your behalf with respect to your assets and other personal matters.
Health Care Power of Attorney / Living Will allows you to designate one or more agents to act on your behalf with respect to your health care. The document also allows you to make your wishes known with respect to end-of-life decisions including organ donation, autopsy and life support.
Q: What is probate?
A: Probate is the process by which a court supervises the distribution of a deceased individual's assets. The court will appoint a Personal Representative (referred to in some jurisdictions as an "executor") to administer the estate. Probate is public, and it can be time-consuming and expensive.
Q: How do I avoid probate?
A: There are several ways. The most common means is to create a Revocable Trust (i.e., a "living trust") during your life.
There are many benefits to a Revocable Trust, including the ability to provide for the management of your assets in the event you are incapacitated or disabled, and to prevent beneficiaries from receiving assets at a young age or when they are troubled. A Revocable Trust can be amended or revoked for any or no reason at any time by the settlor. A Revocable Trust is a private arrangement; the trust agreement is not filed with any agency.
Q: Can I prepare my own Will, Revocable Trust, Durable Power of Attorney and a Health Care Power of Attorney / Living Will?
A: You should consult a qualified attorney on any estate planning matter including the preparation of such legal documents.
• Brian Foster is a 20-year Ahwatukee resident and senior partner at Snell & Wilmer L.L.P. in Phoenix. Reach him at (602) 382-6242 or firstname.lastname@example.com. Prescott Pohl, also a partner at Snell & Wilmer L.L.P, can be reached at (602) 382-6515.