text:
Help Me Make My Nut Tonight.
"He's making calls! He's tying one of the phones up! Unbelievable. Come on, Mike." -- Tom, denouncing the telephonic trickery of his Associate Producer
"'Cause that's what it is. It kind of supports the thing. It's like you keep it going, and then you're entertained by it, we do what we do because you're entertained by it, and then the pledge money ... something like that." -- Tom, explaining the Ouroborosness of the WFMU model
"Something tells me we're gonna have a hard time collecting on that pledge from 'Deuce'. Prove me wrong, Deuce! Make me eat my words, Deuce!" -- Tom, challenging the hard working Hyde Park, NY man to Do It
"Apparently we've run out of names on Twitter. Where now some dude actually has to choose the name 'Sheeplovr.' Fair enough. I guess that had to happen at some point." -- Tom, accepting the overpopulated Twitter terrain
"You can watch me leaning on this chair talking like I'm modeling slacks in the Sears® catalog." -- Tom, promoting the live video stream, shortly before declaring, "Chair Time Is Ova!" (the skewed posture actually altered his thought patterns)
"This better be worth it." -- Carl Newman, growing tired of the dramatic buildup to the White Whale prize reveal
"Should we talk about things you can relate to? Battlestar Galactica and ... what else? Bras? Well, you're a lady. Bras. Shoes. Sex and the City. Cupcakes." -- Tom, a 100% Carrie per Jen Kirkman, brainstorming Therese-friendly topics after she got lost in the McAdoo/Pippen funhouse
"We are not seven 50 years ago." -- Tom, issuing a cease and desist order on Therese's use of the old-timey "No backsies" slogan
"We say it Zum-pono down here. Yeah, that's how we roll down here." -- Tom, sticking it to Canadian songsmith Carl Newman
"Yeah, but they're great, though. They're trying really hard out there." -- Carl Newman, praising The Black Eyed Peas's high school talent show bounce-arounds
"What is it like to be able to actually sing and have it sound good? What is that like?" -- Tom, wondering how Carl Newman deals with his vocal talent
"Yes, and a good night to you, too, Ma'am ... and Sir." -- Gene Simmons, finishing up his fourth session of the day
"Because I do. I'm Gene Simmons of KISS, why?" -- Gene Simmons, justifying his decision to carry more than $42,000 in his wallet
"She seemed to like it. Yes, she was screaming." -- Gene Simmons, putting a positive spin on Aimme Mann's response to his groping
"You'll love it. All the doctors, nurses, and the condystripers, they dress up in KISS makeup." -- Gene, touting some of the pleasures of the KISS-isted living staff at KISS Acres
"Uh, more like Paul's Dynasty-era cape. It's pink." -- Gene Simmons, describing the attire of the mouse that scurried past him
"You'll also both have to have extensive chest hair implant surgery and facial reconstruction." -- Gene Simmons, informing Ted and Carl about the prerequisites to becoming the new Paul and Gene
"I don't know what it is. Look at you, you're like if Mr. Clean was a fat blob made of wet, fetid fudge." -- Gene Simmons, disqualifying Tom as his possible replacement
"Hey, I certainly am. Ask any of those 8,000 women I've boinked." -- Gene Simmons, offering Tom a bevy of witnesses in waiting to confirm that he's a handsome gem
"Oh ... fudge." -- Gene Simmons, realizing that something has gone horribly wrong with his Emerald Nightmare herbal tincture experiment
"Next person who calls can talk to Colleen about how much she hates Southern people. 800-989-9368. Talk about rubes from down South, right?" -- Tom, teasing the volunteer who recently abandoned Baton Rouge
"It keeps me off the streets, it keeps me out of therapy, it keeps me off of meds." -- Associate Producer Mike, observing and reporting on what The Best Show on WFMU means to him: a warm room on cold Tuesday nights
[TBSOWFMU - 3/1/11 / Full Podmirth / Best Show Gems / Myspace / Fotpedia [RIP?] / Newbridgctionary / Headquarters / S&W / Twitter-S / Twitter-W]
Stan Bush & Barrage - "Crank That Radio"
( Click here to buy Stan Bush & Barrage)
OFF! - "Panic Attack"
( Click here to buy First Four EPs)
Robert Pollard with Doug Gillard - "Frequent Weaver Who Burns"
( Click here to buy Speak Kindly of Your Volunteer Fire Department)
Lifeguards - "Keep It In Orbit"
( Click here to buy Waving at the Astronauts)
Beauty Constant - "Ed's Anthem"
( Click here to acquire the rest of Like The Enemy)
Three Hits - "Numbers"
( Click here to snag the A-side of the single)
Danielson - "This Day Is A Loaf"
( Click here to buy Best of Gloucester County)
Lemuria - "Pleaser"
( Click here to buy Pebble)
Now is the time for us to gather together and celebrate those things that we like and think are fun and pledge:
Alright. Alright, everybody. Tom Scharpling begins Week 1 of the 2011 The Best Show Marathon with his usual testimonial from Volcano Suns, but the rousing rallying cry gives way to the sickening silence of a dead Phone Room. Tom cannot believe this is happening to him. He laments that he's already winded at the 10-minute mark, further evidence that the show is slowly killing him week after week. Tom considers pulling the plug and playing Pangaea for the next three hours, but he can't Do That. He explains that everyone must stop thinking about it and just DO IT like Henry Rollins (Wrong Turn 2: Dead End). The illuminated DO IT sign starts to heat up the Phone Room by a few degrees of Mr. Fahrenheit.
The bottom line: After 50 weeks of fun connective tissue, it's time to pledge some bones and celebrate WFMU. Tom promises that he will deliver a Prize-a-Palooza for the next three hours instead of some PBS snooze-a-thon. He also invited rock musicians Ted Leo and Carl Newman to join him at this year's festivities. They will play music songs if the phones start ringing. Tom even recruited pretty ladies who will be forced to talk to creeps in order to document their payment information. Will host steady the submarine to victory lane or go down in a flaming ball of defeat and retreat back to his glamorous life of solo dining at the Hometown Buffet?
Tom welcomes Therese, a friend, a colleague, and his co-host for the evening. Therese reports some action on the phones and online. She concludes that everyone wants a piece of Tommy, The Best Show, and WFMU.
Cape-Wearing Phone Room Volunteers and Other Support Personnel
Boardmaster: Glenn Luttman
Resident Mathematician: Chad
- AP Mike/Harold (HOT CORNER; somehow eluded their parole officers to make it)
- Maggie
- Daniel
- Christy
- CoKane
- Evan "Funk" Davies
- Sherri
- Karen L
- Karen H
- Mark
- Dutch
- Samantha
- Pat
- Lorraine
- Joe
- Tony
- Arf
- Charlotte
- Hatch
- Puloma
- DJ Terre T
- Kirsten
- Spoony
- Jodi
- Miranda
- Brian Turner
- Jon Dalton
- Emily
- Jeff
Don't Stop Me Now 2011 Best Show Fontasy Pack premium ($75)
1. "Rated GG" 7-inch, featuring cleaned-up classics from the dearly departed scum rocker, Kevin Michael "GG" Allin! Family-friendly participants include the following:
- Ben Gibbard ("Friends in the City")
- Mountain Goats ("Drink, Fight, and Frolic")
- F'd Up ("Expose Yourself to Adults")
- Ty Segall ("Pettin' The Dog")
- Ted Leo ("Who Clogged My Fudge Dispenser?")
PLUS a digital download for computore listening with bonus tracks from Dump, Home Blitz, the comedy duo stylings of The Scharpling & The Wurster, Julie Klausner, and more! Tom is cracking this motherfucker WIDE OPEN.
2. A poster designed by the artist named Charles Burns (Black Hole, Big Baby, every issue of The Believer, the cover of Jim Osterberg's Brick by Brick). This is known throughout The Biz as a "get." [A $500 Pledge yields a special, higher-quality screened version of the poster.]
3. Tom & Jon & Mike & Spike & Roy & Sheila Larson T-shirt.
4. Button!
5. Billy Joel: Live at Shea Stadium CASSette (autographed by Wally Backman and Wally Wackiman)
NOTE: Tom takes the leftover premium Fontasy Packs and jams them down a random sewer in the middle of the day. So it goes.
After a brief flurry, Tom senses a lag in the pledge activity. He also spots AP Mike whooping it up on what appears to be a personal phone call. Tom obviously wants to know more about this outrageous breach of marathon protocol. Therese believes that the particulars of how he's figured out how to make outgoing calls on the station's phone system is better left as one of life's great mysteries. She suspects that AP Mike does not have long-distance capabilities on his home phone. Tom envisions a scenario where AP Mike makes a(n obscene) call, the unlucky recipient sees 800-989-9368 on their Caller ID, and they call back to investigate the intrusion. In a nutshell, AP Mike is potentially tying up two phone lines with his antics. Tom asks him if he's making outgoing calls, and AP Mike yells that he "doesn't have time!" in a voice that sounds like Kermit the Frog after four Four Lokos. Tom recalls that last week he almost threw up when he heard AP Mike acting like a weird lapdog while telling guest Chris Elliot that he was a Big Fan of his work. Hatch eventually confirms the bad news: Mike is indeed tying up one of the phone lines. Despite AP Mike's sabotage attempts, Tom will continue to try to keep the beautiful, freeform behemoth on the air for another year. He points out that WFMU only exists in the real world because of support from the listeners. Tom compares the give-and-take approach to the snake chasing the snake, although he has some difficulty articulating exactly how it all works. Therese thinks the snake that eats its own tail is called an Ouroboros. She boils it down to its essence: the listeners and the station have a symbiotic relationship. Tom doesn't know what "symbiotic" means. He admits to being basically stupid, but he is well-schooled in some crucial marathon details like 800-989-9368, wfmu.org, and $75 to secure his premium. Tom also knows that the phones must keep ringing and the computer box must keep popping out paper like the readout slips on Judge Davies's higher-end digital devices.
As Therese reads the first batch of pledge cards, Tom charts who is coming through for him. While he appreciates the financial support, he also wants to compile an extensive list of potential safe houses throughout North America and beyond so he can hide out -- The Fugitive-style -- while on the lam from a murder rap. For example, Tom might find himself in the basement of Lindsay in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He also cites the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill Triangle (e.g., bowels of the Dean Dome, back room of Time-Out Chicken, John Darnielle's dungeon) as an appealing location for avoiding capture.
White Whale Prize
The biggest pledgeroller over the two weeks of The Best Show will receive Steve Lambert's UNSTOPPABLE lightbox. This piece of art is 30 inches wide, 6.5 inches tall, and 5.5 inches deep. It is constructed from wood, laser-cut acrylic, and internal lighting components. You can hang it on the wall or put it on a tabletop. Hand-signed artist proof from an edition of 10. Also signed by Tom!
Ted Leo Set #1
Ted Leo - "The King of Time" (from Tej Leo(?), Rx/Pharmacists)
Ted Leo - "Colleen" (from Living with the Living)
TLRx's latest album, The Brutalist Bricks, is
unfortunately completely sold out and no longer available for purchase currently available in a variety of formats at traditional retails outlets and e-commerce hubs. Last August it was adapted into a Broadway punk musical. Following this performance, Ted goes for a soda as an homage to Kim Mitchell, Carl Newman's Canadian hero.
In one of the night's more disturbing revelations, some Twitter users report that AP Mike is calling them to borrow $75 so he can pledge at a premium level. Therese doesn't understand how he got their phone numbers. She's kind of impressed that he figured out how to call someone based solely on their Twitter handle. Tom notes that AP Mike doesn't even own a cell phone, but he can apparently perpetrate telephonic Twitter hacks. Therese reminds/warns everyone that AP Mike has a creepy shovel in the trunk of his car. Tom confirms that AP Mike is indeed a Trunk Tool Killer. After misbehaving through the early portion of the show, AP Mike calms down enough to actually log some pledges. Later in the show he resurfaces to wave some dumb dog toy (aka "Squeaky") at Tom while he was making a passionate king's speech about the glories of freeform programming. AP Mike argues that the presence of "Squeaky" (and "Horny") has become a tradition at The Best Show marathon shows. Tom counters that it is a tradition he's forced on everyone, much like racial segregation.
Carl Newman (The New Pornographers, Thee Crusaders, Zumpano, Superconductor, Anvil, and A.C. Newman solo efforts) brought his guitar into the studio because he fancies himself a wandering minstrel. Tom notes that Carl and Ted both had great achievements in the past year. Carl points out that the two most famous things they did -- the "Bottled in Cork" and "Moves" video clips -- were made by Tom. He considers the possibility that it was a bad year for all of them.
Carl Newman Set #1
Carl Newman - "Elemental" (from Get Guilty)
While the audio feed suggests otherwise, Carl claims that he is "not that good at singing." This may explain the surprising announcement that his next album will be a The Black Eyed Peas-style game-changer. Carl says that he intends to rap over the top of popular songs. Tom, a vocal supporter of the much-maligned BEP Super Bowl performance, is excited to hear this.
You wanted the best? Well, you got the best: Ted, Carl, Eric, and Tommy!
- Gene Simmons, the bassist for the rock group KISS, checks in because he understands that Tom is having a little pledge drive tonight. Tom confirms that the annual WFMU fundraising marathon is underway. Gene says it must be very exciting for Tom. He's referring, of course, to Tom getting a chance to talk to him. Tom says it's always exciting to chat with the God of Thunder. Gene thinks he's talked to Tom before, but he's talked to so many people over the years. He guesses that Tom has raised $31 so far. Tom informs Gene that the early returns are still being tabulated, but they are definitely better than $31. Gene senses that Tom thinks he's a Big Man on par with telethon king Jerry Lewis. Tom denies it. Gene expresses displeasure with the little bit of attitude he's getting from Tom. He asks Tom to hold on for a moment while he finishes up his fourth lovemaking session of the day. Gene bids goodnight to a woman and a man, which elicits a strong reaction from the studio. It was not clear if the session in question was a ménage a trois proper, or if the third person was merely a spectator. Gene requests that he not be judged for his behavior.
He proceeds to increase the stakes of tonight's festivities with a wager. Gene says that if Tom doesn't reach his pledge goal, he will take over The Best Show for a year. Tom wonders what a Gene Simmons radio show would be like. (Guess he's never seen Trick or Treat!) Gene reveals that the renamed "The Best Show on WKISS" will feature nonstop KISS music. Since he's a little upset with Paul Stanley right now, he will only play the songs that he wrote and sang, such as "Deuce," "Ladies in Waiting," "She's So European," "Dance All Over Your Face," "Love's a Slap in the Face," "Cadillac Dreams," and "The Street Giveth And The Street Taketh Away." Ted Leo asks Gene if "Gold Gin" is one his tunes. Carl Newman quickly identifies it as an Ace Frehley track. Gene claims that he saved Ace's poor craftsmanship by singing it. Tom informs Gene that Ted Leo and Carl Newman are with him in the studio. Gene asks the boys how they are doing. He will get to them later.
TBSOWKISS will also feature a solid hour of Gene just going on about life and love and reality and fontasy. Gene says that on some nights the entire show will consist of him going through his wallet and counting all the money and checks over the air. He asks Tom to guess how much money he has in his wallet right now. Tom guesses $5,000. Gene says he has $42,057. ("It's a big wallet, yes.") Tom asks Gene why he carries that much money with him. Gene says it's because he's Gene Simmons of KISS. Tom accepts that as a good enough reason for the bulge.
Gene continues describing the parameters of the wager and refers to Tom's pledge quota as his "nut," so to speak. He loves that term, which he learned from singer-songwriter Aimee Mann. Gene says that he is currently writing a song with Mann called "Help Me Make My Nut Tonight." Tom thinks the title is disgusting and horrifying. He asks Gene if Mann knows about this collaboration. Gene asks Tom to define the word "know." Tom asks Gene if he's met Mann. Gene asks Tom to define "met" because he has groped her. Tom disapproves of this encounter. Gene says that Mann seemed to like it because she was screaming. Tom points out that this reaction does not indicate that she enjoyed the contact. Gene says that it does in "his world." Blabbermouth.net is reporting that Gene will release the Grope Obsessed 12" EP on 4/16/11 as a 2011 Record Store Day exclusive. The record was co-produced by Kevin Rutan (Nile, Goatwhore, Mountain Goats) and That Metal Show host Edward Trunk.
Music for "The Elders": Enjoying some afternoon TV time at KISS Acres
If Tom does make his nut, Gene promises to guarantee him a very nice room at KISS Acres, the newest, most state-of-the-art assisted living facility in Newbridge. He says that the care for residents at this KISS-themed old-age home is actually called "KISS-isted living." Gene points out that all the doctors, nurses, and condystripers dress up in KISS makeup. Tom wonders if this is a jarring visual for people who have never served in the KISS Army. Gene says they love it and are big fons of living out their golden years amongst KISS enthusiasts. Tom finds it hard to believe that they love the idea of waking up to someone looking like Ace Frehley staring them in the face. Gene assumes that Tom would love this scenario, as well as one in which he was greeted by a Vinnie Vincent stand-in. Tom says he would not like any of it. Gene seems confused and concludes that Tom doesn't have any taste at all.
Gene asks Tom to remind him of the names of the two boys in the studio. Tom confirms that Ted and Carl are the certified rock 'n rollers in question. Gene wants them to listen up. He assumes they know that KISS has replaced Ace Frehley and Peter Criss with Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer. Gene claims that the fons love them even more than the original band members. Tom voices his doubts about the fan response. At this point Gene gets momentarily flustered by something he has never seen before. Tom correctly guesses that a mouse ran by him. He asks Gene if the mouse was wearing anything. Gene says it was a cape. Tom wonders if it was the kind of cape that Gene would wear on stage during a KISS concert. Gene says it was more like Paul's pink Dynasty-era cape. He declares the cape-clad mouse to be the funniest thing he's ever seen. Gene assumes that Tom can tell that he's cracking up over it. Tom jokingly suggests that Gene is known for being a fun guy who loves to laugh. Gene says he's a very fun guy and tells Tom to ask Shannon Tweed for confirmation. He changes his mind and requests that Tom not solicit his longtime companion's opinion on the matter of his joie de vivre.
Gene acknowledges that there will come a sad day when he and Paul will no longer be able to Do It. As a result, they need to start scouting people to take over for them and keep KISS going strong. Gene wants Carl to become Paul, and he wants Ted to become him. The initial reaction is somewhat positive. Ted is "kind of honored" by the offer. Carl says that he was always a big Ace fan with Gene as his solid #2. Ted tells Gene that he would prefer to be Paul. Gene says it's "no biggie" to switch it up. He sweetens the deal with a compensation package of $300 each per week. However, they will have to buy their own makeup and wardrobe from him. Carl asks Gene if he could be the guy with the "Onk" on his face. He thinks it was Eric Singer, but that's the Catman. Gene informs him that Vinnie Vincent was "The Ankh Warrior" character. He does give Carl points for doing his trademark a/o sound switcheroo with "Onk." Gene says that both boys will have to undergo extensive chest hair implant surgery and facial reconstruction. He mentions that some bloating is needed to convincingly portray him. Ted assumes that a tongue implant will also be required.
Gene asks Carl to give him a quickie take on KISS's "I Was Made For Lovin' You," the hit single from 1979. Carl isn't sure if he can pull it off at the moment. Ted takes a crack at it, and Gene thinks it's a classic rendition. Gene wants Carl to give him a hearty "Ohhhh, yeah!" Carl delivers the guttural goods. Gene loves it. Tom does one, and Gene is very impressed. In fact, he thinks Tom is as good as he is at this particular exclamation. Gene Googles Tom to see if he could emerge as a viable candidate to replace him. He doesn't like what he sees: half animal, part ape, part party machine. Gene describes Tom's look as Mr. Clean if the household cleaner mascot was a fat blob made out of wet, fetid fudge. Tom doesn't think this is a nice or accurate description. Gene says that you have to be handsome to replace him because he was voted one of the Top 5 most sexually electrifying rock 'n roll singers in rock 'n roll. Tom wonders who bestowed this honor on him. Gene says it was KISS Fever, a magazine he may or may not have been editor of at one point. Tom apologizes for not being attractive enough to be Gene. Gene says that not everybody has what it takes to be him. Tom says that Gene is no gem. Gene tells Tom to ask any of the 8,000 women he's "boinked" about that.
Gene asks Tom if the bet is on. Tom accepts the bet, but he can't remember what he will get if he wins. Gene says Tom will get a nice room at KISS Acres. He excuses himself from the conversation because he's testing an herbal tincture for possible inclusion in the Simmons brand family. Gene says that someone in Newbridge turned him onto an item called Emerald Nightmare, a volatile superdrug that has hit the streets in recent months. Tom warns Gene that he might want to watch out. An explosion is heard, Gene says "Oh, fudge," and the phone goes dead. Ted is interested in accepting Gene's offer for $300/week. He asks Tom if he has Gene's contact information. Tom plans to get it from Caller ID. Carl says that he will accept 300 Canadian ($305 US). Tom realizes that the music business is in rougher shape that he thought.
Week #1 Prize Wall ($15+)
1. Our Noise: The Story of Merge Records [Winner: Jim in Portland, OR]
This book features Scharpling wisdom such as passing on the chance to release a Neutral Milk Hotel record. However, his 18 Wheeler label did hit the jackpot with the Trixter "Route 17" b/w "The Ocelot Incident" 7-inch.
2. Bob's Burgers pilot script signed by the creatore and entire cast [Winner: Jarnell in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
3. Exit from the Gift Shop DVD [Winner: Michael in St. Paul]
4. Who's the Caboose? / Pilot Season Sam Seder DVD Two-Pack [Winner: Taylor in Savannah, GA]
5. Moonage Daydream: The Life & Times of Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie (text) and Mick Rock (photographs) [Winner: Michael and Christine in Brooklyn, NY]
6. John Hodgman's More Information Than You Require (signed) /PFT's Impersonal CD (signed) [Winner: Samir in Florida]
7. The Feelies - Crazy Rhythms CD [Winner: Kaylee in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada]
8. FreeDarko Presents: The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac and FreeDarko Presents: The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History books [Winner: Samuel in Meredith, NH]
9. Steven Blush's American Hardcore: A Tribal History (signed) [Winner: Mark in South Orange, NJ]
10. Chain & The Gang - Music's No For Everyone CD [Winner: Augustine]
11. Paul Myers's A Wizard, A True Star: Todd Rundgren in the Studio [Winner: Nick in Toronto, Ontario, Canada]
Ted & Carl Closing Set
Ted Leo & Carl Newman - "I Love My Label"/"I Love The Best Show" (Nick Lowe cover/reworking)
Grand Prize Pit
Grand Prize #1: The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD Box Set signed by Terry Gilliam [Winner: Thomas in Baltimore, MD]
Grand Prize #2: I Found This Funny [edited by Judd Apatow] / Comedy by the Numbers / Art Spiegleman's Be a Nose! McSweeney's Books Three-Pack [Winner: Patrick in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada]
Grand Prize #3: The Misfits coffin-shaped box set [Winner: Peter in Metuchen, NJ; staying in Jersey WHERE IT BELONGS]
Week #1 TOTAL: $81,500
Next on ... The Best Show on WFMU: The return of the new Gene & Paul. Philly Phanatic Kurt Vile. Authore John Hodgman. Pledge money flowin' like nem liquid gold fountains of the classical music days.
Until then please practice your circle headbanging while enjoying this 1997 rock concert by the Double-C:


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What would you like to do?
Who was the creator of Dorian Gray?
Where did Dorian Gray keep his picture?
He kept it in several places throughout the book. At first, it was greatly admired and he loved to look at the perfection of it, and he kept it in public. But as it bega…n to change, he hid it away so that no one could see it, covered up in a locked room.
What is the name of dorian grays grandfather?
Lord Kelso.
Does dorian gray die?
Yes, when he stabs the portrait.
Who wrote The Portrait of Dorian Gray?
Oscar Wilde
Who is the author The Picture of Dorian Gray?
Oscar Wilde.
Homosexuality in the picture of dorian gray?
Yes! Oscar Wilde, the author of The Picture of Dorian Gray, was suspected of being gay for Lord Alfred Douglas, and Dorian was used as evidence against him in court. The book …is often treated as a semi-autobiography for Oscar, because Oscar is very similar to Dorian Gray, and Douglas is very similar to Henry. Since homosexuality was very much frowned upon in the Victorian Era, Oscar Wilde's only option for expressing himself was through literature. Underlying homosexual tensions are found between Basil and Dorian, and Dorian and Lord Henry. Basil doesn't act out on his desired physically, but his worship through art makes it apparent. Lord Henry, on the other hand, is very decadent in thought, but because he is so old, he can't do much of what he advises Dorian to do. He wants Dorian to revel in the decadent lifestyle while he is still young. In the Lippincott edition of Dorian, there are several more explicit chapters that reveal homosexual behavior amongst the characters. I can't even name heterosexual male characters from that novel. Basil was gay, the rest were bisexual. Basil all but says "I love you, Dorian".
The Picture of Dorian Gray Allusions?
there is an allusion to Jack the Ripper, when Dorian murders Basil. There is also an allusion to the Garden of Eden near the beginning with the three men being in a garden. lo…rd henry is like the serpent and dorian is like adam.
How long is The Picture of Dorian Gray?
The Picture of Dorian Gray is approximately 229 pages long. (Barnes and Noble Edition)
The moral of The picture of Dorian gray?
In my general opinion this novel presents to as a list of morals. I would prefer one. Beauty is really a gemstone. It is listed among the beautiful things of the life. Yo…u might have it or not. In both cases, it is nearly the same. In the end, after some years of joy and life it becomes equal to both these people. Because, the beauty one day it is, the other it has gone. While what is left in every men's end are the crows and the years and if he is lucky the humanity and the goodness too.
What is the climax and resolution for Dorian Gray?
The climax is probably when Dorian kills Basil, and then the resolution is when Dorian stabs his portrait, consequently killing himself.
Who is dorian gray?
Dorian Gray is the main character in "The Picture of Dorian Gray" written by Oscar Wilde This Book is considered a classic
What are examples of symbolism for Dorian Gray?
The color white represent innocence. (Rose white boyhood). Dorian describes his earlier days as rose white because he was innocent back then. He was free of sin. Yellow book…- the influence Henry has on Dorian. It's poisonous and corrupts Dorian, but Dorian follows the book religiously. Can also be as symbol for the bad influence art can have on a person. Portrait- represents dorian's soul. with every sin he commits, his soul is injured and the portrait becomes uglier. LIke his inner body is corrupted, so is the portrait. Later serves as his conscience. FLowers represent female beauty. Sybil is descirbed as a rose. Hetty as a jasmine.
What is the meaning of the picture of Dorian gray?
You cannot escape the consequences of your actions. What ever you get without giving, somebody gives without getting the rules of civilization impact everyone, you cann…ot escape your social responsibility. No man is an island, no matter how much he would like to be A man or woman without a soul, is doomed. Dorian Gray was doomed when he looked at his youthful portrait and cried the words, "If only the picture would grow old and I would remain young; I would give anything, even my soul!" When you forfeit your soul, be prepared for consequences that will be hellish and eternal. Love appears true meaning toward someone else not yours. Its a meaning of compassion toward others and not always about their self but a little encouragement. In the picture of Dorian Gray its about life contradicting itself and a whole other world that has a different meaning of this century now.
What did Dorian Gray do?
He sold his soul to the devil.
In Movies
What is dorian gray about?
"The Picture of Dorian Gray" (1945). There have also been other versions. Its a story about a man who sacrificed his soul to remain young. It's his painting that ages.
What was Dorians gray relationship with his grandfather?
He has been abusing him.
Who is the Antagonist in The Picture of Dorian Gray?
Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, or age itself are all possibilities.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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this is literally the most disturbing movie i have ever seen. you only need to see it once...once is plenty. but its like driving by a really bad car accident that you just can't take your eyes off of.
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text:
Sep 30, 2012 - From staff reportsThe Fremont County Sheriff's Office has received a total of 10 calls this fall about motorists who are passing stopped school buses despite the fact that the buses have red lights flashing and are unloading children.
Sheriff's Capt. Ryan Lee said in a press release that the number of calls is "outrageous."
"Anytime you see a bright yellow bus driving down the roadway, use common sense," Lee said. "Slow down, think children, think safety. Be aware that there may be children standing along the roadway waiting, or crossing the road. Be aware that the bus will stop to load or unload children at any given moment."
Lee said reports have been generated in all parts of the county excluding the areas in and around Lander. The highest numbers of calls have been generated along Wyoming Highway 134 in the Missouri Valley area and along U.S. Highway 26 east and west of Dubois. Most of the calls are being investigated by the Wyoming Highway Patrol.
"The most recent incident was reported along Highway 134 and is being called a near miss, when a semi-truck and trailer combination passed a stopped school bus," Lee said.
Deputies have been shadowing rural school routes when possible, but Lee said it is difficult to cover every bus route given the high number of rural roadways and school buses countywide. He asked motorists to use caution when driving near school buses, and not only because fines can result from traffic violations.
"That is not the big picture," Lee said. "Driving without regard to the safety of other citizens and passing stopped school buses can injure and kill the most precious members of our community, our children. Slow down, be aware, think safety, think children."
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text: I'm 19.5 weeks along with twins. For the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling pressure near my bladder when I am standing. It's not like I have to go to the bathroom, but like someone is sitting on my bladder. However, I am not sure it's even my bladder. It's just extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes this occurs even after I have used the restroom, but sometimes it helps to pee. I've never been pregnant before, let alone with twins. I am feeling so many things in my belly that I just can't explain. Hope someone can clue me in.


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Evangelical Channel
Why This Conservative Evangelical Counter-Cult Expert Will Vote for Romney
Many conservatives (Christian or otherwise), me included, are disappointed that Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate for President. They lament that a more principled conservative (such as Michele Bachmann, or, to a lesser degree, Rick Santorum) was not selected. Perhaps they stand for the libertarian principles of Ron Paul. Whatever the case, many will be tempted to not vote at all or to cast a protest vote. This is a deep mistake, based on faulty ideas about politics and the meaning of a political vote. In this short essay, I will labor to convince fellow conservatives, whether Christians or not, to support and vote for Mitt Romney for President. I have waited to endorse Romney until all the other competitors have been eliminated. I do not expect to convert political liberals to this cause, which would require much more argumentation. (For starters, see Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn's Leftism and William F. Buckley's Up From Liberalism.)
First, many demur from voting for Romney because of his less-than-stellar conservative bona fides. I share their concern. RomneyCare influenced ObamaCare, however much Romney now opposes ObamaCare. He has not always been pro-life, but now seems to be. One could go on. But we should remember that politics is not the church. It is the art of the possible. Often we must choose the lesser of two evils, which is also the evil of two lessers. We reside in a fallen world. Get over it. We should be romantic and optimistic in the primaries (as I supported Michele Bachmann, read her book, Core of Conviction, and contributed to her campaign), and then get realistic when things narrow down. You are not appointing a pastor but voting for a president. A vote is neither a letter of reference, nor an unqualified endorsement, nor an act of worship. A vote is the exercise of the franchise, one part you play in our Republican form of government. It is a right, a responsibility, and a privilege that should not be squandered.
Second, protest votes are pointless. Many say, "If my candidate is not the one, I opt out. I am above all that." This is wrongheaded. Protest votes send no message, except that you have robbed the better of the two candidates of a vote. Like it or not, we are stuck with a two-party system for the long haul. (On this, see Michael Medved's chapter on the failure of third parties in The Ten Big Lies about America.) If you are a conservative, you vote for the more conservative candidate who can win, as William F. Buckley said. Writing in Michele Bachmann or Ron Paul does no good whatsoever—except to aid the Obama campaign.
Douglas Groothuis, Ph.D., is Professor of Philosophy at Denver Seminary and the author of Christian Apologetics: A Comprehensive Case for Biblical Faith. His views do not represent Denver Seminary.


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That's "One Mighty Fun Game," for those of you paying attention. Since I finally got around to purchasing an Xbox 360, I've been playing video games again. A lot. Like, way more than is healthy for one to do. And since I'm one of those opinionated bastards who has to talk about what I think of everything from the Presidential race to precisely what cosmetic products give my hair the most desirable texture, I figured I might start a series in which I will tell you all about what I think of the video games I'm playing. That way, on those occasions when you find yourself pondering, "I wonder what video games Danny's been playing, and I wonder what he thinks of them," you can just head on over to http://newsvine.com/omfg and find out. I'm sure you're all dying to know. Without further ado, here's what I think about Mass Effect.
Have you ever played an action RPG?
You know what, I'm just going to go ahead and stop you there. There are two correct answers to that question. "Yes, I have played Mass Effect," or, "No." If you have not played Mass Effect, you do not even know the proper definition of the term "action RPG," let alone have you ever experienced one.
Sure, you might have played BioWare's previous game which was billed as an "action RPG," Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. It was a fantastically deep, huge, long, epic and beautiful RPG. But the "action" element? You clicked on an enemy and watched the two figures politely take turns hitting each other while dice rolls and skill modifiers determined how much damage would be done to either character each turn. If that's action, then Dungeons & Dragons is a sporting event of olympic proportions.
Or maybe you've played one of those games with lots and lots of ball-busting action while—as a sort of afterthought—your character gained levels. If that's role-playing, then petting puppies is a good idea for a video game.
These types of games are action RPGs like...you know what? Enough with the analogies. They're just not.
Mass Effect, on the other hand, is an Action RPG. With a capital "A." (And, incidentally, a capital "R," "P," and "G," as well, but that's nothing out of the ordinary, as it's an acronym and acronyms are generally capitalized. But I digress.)
You become Commander Shepard. You are a distinguished member of the Alliance military. You are captain of the advanced spacecraft Normandy. You go wherever the hell you want in the Milky Way. You do whatever the hell you want. You can have unique personal and professional relationships with every important member of your crew. Or you can pretty much ignore them. You can be a hardass. You can be compassionate and selfless. You will make decisions which drastically alter the outcome, right up to the last few moments of the game. You can go on sidequests or you can stick to the primary campaign. You can be a soldier, a biotic (think "mage," but in a sci-fi setting), or a tech, or various combinations of the three. But these are things which you probably already know about if you've read any other reviews of Mass Effect. What you may not have heard a whole lot about is the combat.
Whenever you find it necessary, you can tap a button to pull your weapon, and the game seamlessly transforms itself into a really fun—and often intense—tactical third-person-shooter. You'll need to use cover and issue commands to your teammates (from general ones such as "Form up on me," "Go there," or "Hold here" to specific ones such as "Use attack x on enemy a") in order to stay alive. You have a number of weapons to choose from, such as pistols, assault rifles, shotguns and sniper rifles, all of which have damage and accuracy ratings which, along with how you've allotted your skill points, determine how effective they will be against your enemies. Adding even more depth is an elaborate equipment upgrades system in which you can use acquired items to, for example, improve the accuracy of your weapon or load up specialized rounds which are more effective against organic or synthetic targets. You also have a number of abilities which you can use, which vary depending on your class specialization. You can temporarily enhance your standard combat functions (like beefing up your shield system or allowing yourself to hold down the trigger on your assault rifle for a longer period of time before the weapon overheats), use telekinesis-like abilities to make your enemies levitate, hurl them across the environment, or stand frozen and unable to move, or you can use "tech" abilities to cause machines and robots to malfunction, harm themselves or turn on one another.
Most importantly, however, the combat engine is not wasted on boring or uninvolving firefights. In each leg of the main story campaign you'll have to use smart tactics married with raw skill to fight through scores of challenging enemies in well-designed environments. There are rarely clear distinctions between "grunts" and "bosses," but certain sequences will definitely be a lot more difficult than others, and you'll often find yourself having to load saved games and approach a combat situation from several different angles before you find the right strategy to prevail. These individual combat missions can sometimes rival the depth, intensity and length of the entire single-player campaigns of some other action games.
Throughout all of this, as with the more standard role-playing segments of the game, you'll be paging through dialogue screens and making decisions critical to the overall strategy and outcome of the missions. While it might seem that these occasional breaks in the action could get tedious, phenomenal character models, animations and voice acting keep you riveted and totally immersed in the experience. You'll hardly notice that you just went from shooting the shit out of some robots to having a discussion with a game character. In fact, even being the diehard action fan that I am, I actually found myself looking forward to these character interactions rather than just trying to get them over with to continue with the shooting. These segments keep you locked into the storyline and make the action gameplay relevant. You never feel like you're just killing stuff for the hell of it. Every action has a purpose, and this purpose, the goal toward which you are striving, is always in the back of your mind as you're mowing down foes.
Most of your time spent inbetween these missions takes place on the Normandy, where you'll discuss the outcome of the last mission and decide on a strategy for the forthcoming campaign with your crew. You can give regular status reports to your bosses, the Council, and seek their guidance, or you can tell them to go fuck off and continue to do things your way. You'll also occasionally receive comm transmissions imploring you and your crew to help in tasks which range from carrying out search and rescue operations on uncivilized planets to shutting down a rogue Virtual Intelligence system on the earth's moon. You can take these sidequests as you will, or you can ignore them and focus on the main storyline.
At this point—since it's as good as any other point, I suppose—I should probably tell you about how big the galaxy is. So I'll tell you. It's big. Really big. Your means of navigating on the Normandy is by walking up to the Galaxy Map—a holographic, 3-D representation of the Milky Way—choosing from a dozen or so sectors (sometimes a nebula, sometimes a star cluster), choosing from a handful of solar systems within that sector, and then choosing a planet within that system. If that sounds overwhelming, it's because it is. And the first time you bring up the Galaxy Map and find yourself staring at the Milky Way in all its glory, on a backdrop of thousands of other distant galaxies, complete with navigation points, you may find yourself drooling stupidly for just a little bit. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), it is made a little bit more manageable by the fact that there are only a dozen or so planets in the galaxy on which you can actually land, and even then, you can only usually land on them when there's a mission or sidequest active which actually calls for you to do so. Still, the illusion that you can go anywhere and do anything in your mighty ship is a powerful one, illusion though it may be.
The story which compels you through the galaxy on all these crazy, intense, action-packed, brain-wracking missions, is good. No, actually, it is not good. To say that the story is "good" is to say that the U.S. development of the atomic bomb was a "minor inconvenience" to the citizens of Hiroshima, Japan. The story is amazing. If this game was a sexual escapade, the dialogue and role-playing elements would be the foreplay, the action sequences would be the pelvic thrusting, and the story would be the orgasm. A really, really long, intense orgasm. The extent to which you can have a real, tangible effect on this storyline through your actions, inactions and decision-making is equally amazing. This along with the top-notch presentation makes Mass Effect a more immersive experience than any other work of fiction I've ever beheld; video game, film, book, or otherwise. I won't give away any of the actual plot points, but I will say that everything you've heard about it is right. There is drama. There are politics. There is romance. On occasion I found myself so emotionally invested in the story that I wound up inadvertently earning myself a handful of "renegade" points, despite my greatest efforts to stick to the straight and narrow, because some of these polygonal characters angered me to the point that I was sick of being mister Good Cop and just felt like kicking some cold, hard ass.
In short, this game is phenomenal. If I was forced to find something to nitpick about, I'd tell you that the vehicle controls can occasionally be a bit unwieldy, though this isn't as big a deal as some reviews have made it seem. In addition, you may find yourself so immersed in the gameplay that you find yourself forgetting to save your game, and this coupled with the relative lack of autosaves means that you may occasionally lose a decent chunk of progress when you die and need to reload. Fortunately this is never a huge issue, and more often it's merely a matter of time consumption, not having to struggle through a really difficult section all over again.
Mario be damned. Mario be damned and returned from the fiery pits of Sheol just so he can be damned all over again. Mass Effect is the game of the year, and it's a real shame that it had to be released in the same timeframe in which our familiar stereotypical Italian friend recovered from the disaster that was Sunshine, because I fear this means it will be largely overlooked by many gaming media outlets at the end of the year, and possibly by many gamers as well. If you haven't played this game, go buy it. If you don't have an Xbox 360, buy one of those, too. Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to miss out on this experience.
Score: 5 out of 5


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Published: March 14, 2013 at 10:44 AMHaunted Mansion. Een thought JTTCOTE looks great, Haunted Mansion is a staple of WDI.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 11:00 AMHave to go with what I know. Haunted Mansion.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 11:03 AMI would never have thought I'd vote for Journey over The Mansion, but, having just returned from Tokyo and finally experiencing the ride, I must say Journey to the Center of the Earth IS the better experience!
Published: March 14, 2013 at 11:58 AMHow are we saying "We want more Omnimovers!"? The Little Mermaid is pretty low in the Magic Kingdom rankings and they know we don't want more Omnimovers.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 12:15 PMI voted for HM. I tried to watch POV of JTTCOTE and I am sure I am missing a lot by not actually being on the ride but it seems like the ride is really really short. Ride time was like 3 mins or something like that. Even Forbidden Journey has a 5 min ride time. I think if the ride time would have been a few mins longer I would have voted for JTTCOTE without riding it, but as it is I had to go with HM.
As far as this "Disney will not build any new rides in WDW if people on TPI don't vote for the Disney Sea rides" is just plain wrong. I am not saying some people at Disney don't look at this site every once in a while but I can just about promise you that none of them are deciding what ride to build or not build at WDW based on a fun tournament on TPI.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 12:43 PMThe only reason I voted for Haunted Mansion in this round is that it feels like a more immersive attraction. From when you enter the stretch room until you leave the attraction, it feels like you are actually in an old haunted house and not just on a theme park ride. With Journey to the Center of the Earth, it seems like this feeling would be ruined when you blast out of the volcano and see all of Tokyo DisneySea spread out in front of you. Even if you know that an attraction is just a theme park ride, it is still better when you can suspend that for a few minutes and pretend you're actually somewhere else until an attendant asks you to exit the vehicle.
It also helps that Disneyland's Haunted Mansion holiday is my single favorite Disney attraction, even if the regular version only ranks somewhere in the middle of Disneyland's E-tickets for me.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 1:14 PMTwo Incredibly immersive rides...my choice? Journey. If the themed quality on the rides are comparable (even though Journey's is probably better), then the ride that adds thrills, a far more impressive exterior, and in fact an entire themed land around it wins. I don't really see why people are voting for Haunted Mansion....
Also, When you blast out of the volcano, it's my understanding (I could be wrong) that you see Mysterious Island, keeping the theme better than Any mansion on this earth (May may change that...).
Published: March 14, 2013 at 2:08 PMI am very surprised that Journey is losing. Partly because I thought it was better liked, but mostly because Robert couldn't be doing much more to rig the vote in favor of anything Tokyo.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 2:27 PMI voted Journey to the Center of the Earth. It's a thrilling ride built into a volcano that actually explodes with (apparently) Disney's most impressive animatronic. Combined with the fact that its built into its very own land, the special effects are top notch, and the queue looking absolutely stunning, it definitely seems like one of the world's best attractions.
Haunted Mansion is great, it really is, but I don't see how it's a better overall attraction than Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 3:36 PMI can only go from experience. So HM it is.
Published: March 14, 2013 at 3:56 PMI voted for Outlaw Run. A wooden coaster with inversions... beat that, Disney!


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Square Enix has released a new launch trailer for IO Interactive's upcoming Hitman HD: Trilogy. The 360, PS3 collection will include Hitman 2: Silent Assassin, Hitman: Contracts, and Hitman: Blood Money. The set will also include the standalone Sniper Challenge, a former pre-order bonus for the recently released Hitman: Absolution.
Hitman HD: Trilogy is set to hit store shelves on January 29.
Official Site: Hitman.com


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Rasta Fire! Hot, Hot, Hot Sauce Review
The Rasta Fire! Hot, Hot, Hot Sauce label features a stereotypical Jamaican man — complete with tie-dye shirt, flip flops and dreads — eyes bulging in shock as he leaps away from a campfire that has lit the seat of his cut-off shorts on fire. The front of the label warns us that the sauce is made with habanero peppers and includes the phrase, "Dis stuff really hot mon!" — presumably the words of our fiery friend. While it is quite colorful and eye-catching, I give the label a 2, largely because I did not find it to be a very accurate description of what one should expect from this sauce.
Aside from the habanero pepper, most of the ingredients of this exotic sauce are quite different from those of most hot sauces. The unusual ingredients listed include fruits such as pineapple, papaya, and orange juice and spices such as curry, turmeric, and cumin. I love unique sauces, and I give this list of tropical, spicy ingredients a 5. The peppery mustard smell of this sauce, which does also contain both black pepper and mustard, earns a solid 4. It smells delicious, and while heat can be detected in the aroma, it almost smells like a mustard barbecue sauce.
Rasta Fire! Hot, Hot, Hot Sauce has a thicker consistency than most hot sauces, largely due to the chunks of pineapple and papaya throughout the black-pepper-sprinkled sauce. The color is similar to mustard barbecue sauce, but darker. I give the consistency a 4, although those who like thinner hot sauces will likely not agree. Finally, all the fire and multiple uses of the word "Hot" on the label lead me to taste this sauce cautiously. I tried a few drops on some grilled chicken, and it was excellent! It had a sweet, mustardy taste with mild citrus undertones. I would describe this sauce as quite warm, but not really hot enough to require any recovery time — or to justify the fiery label. I give the flavor a 5.
I would rate the taste a 4, but if you like insanely hot hot sauce or do not like mustard, this would not be the sauce for you. If, however, this Caribbean-style hot sauce sounds right up your alley, I would recommend it for use with grilled seafood, grilled pork, pulled pork sandwiches, pork roast, slow-cooked baked beans, or grilled chicken. Personally, I look forward to trying it with some grilled fish!
Buy Rasta Fire! Hot, Hot, Hot Sauce
© 2009 – 2010, Hot Sauce Reviews and Spicy Food Blog. All rights reserved by InsaneChicken.com.


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This is a trailer store obviously lol. I'm closing...
Somebody Else / / Matty Healy
- by asking_emery
- Rating:
- Published: 15 Jul 2016
- Updated: 15 Jul 2016
- Status: In Progress
~Matty Healy~ When Matty and Olivia broke up, things weren't good. They hated each other. They tried to stay as far away from each other as they could. Which worked since Olivia lived in California and Matty in England. But George Daniel was always fond of Olivia. So a year after Matty's and Olivia's break up, he takes his chance and asks her out. Matty doesn't want her but he hates to picture her with somebody else. Especially one of his bands mates, let alone best friend.
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Mel Gibson Fires Back at Oksana Grigorieva with Extortion Claim
Representatives for Mel Gibson claim there is a 'long paper trail' that proves Oksana Grigorieva attempted to extort money from the oscar-winning filmmaker in exchange for not leaking the controversial audio tapes.
'Team Mel' plans to meet with the L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. for a presentation of evidence that will supposedly give the details of the alleged extortion in full.
An insider speaking on behalf of Oksana said, "She did not try to extort Mel Gibson nor did she ask him for money in return for the tapes."
As it turns out, paying off Oksana could not have saved Mel from the colossal embarrassment of having the world hear the disturbingly offensive audio tapes because she was not responsible for the leak.
Check out more scandalous celebrity news at BuzzStalker.


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I recently talked to GGW Team member Vasily Andreev who just finished his first novel earlier this year.
Writing a novel is something that is really appealing to me, but I can't imagine myself doing it. It seems to be an incredible amount of work, endless complexity, just overwhelming. I don't even know where to start. And I'm pretty sure that I won't like the final outcome and will go through considerable lengths to hide it from the public.
I think a lot of people feel like that. Writing a novel - even if it is just one, even it is bad - is something a lot of us have on our bucket lists.
Vasily and I talked about these things and he explained to me how he overcame these blocks.
A few days later he followed up with the following email.
Writing any form of novel seemed like an impossible task when I was younger. For some novels, it still is. I can't fathom how to create something as interwoven and brilliant as The Count of Monte Cristo. But I believe there's an easy approach towards understanding how to write a novel.
If you're really, really new to writing, never written a short-story in your spare time of any length, then I'd suggest looking up various creative writing exercises. A good list of these is found at the end of The Art of Fiction by John Gardner, which is a great book to introduce you to various elements of writing. I'll spare you the trip and give you a few examples.
Try and write ~500 words on each of these:Describe a building from the perspective of a recently married girl or boy without mentioning the marriage.Describe a building from the perspective of an elderly woman who just lost her husband. Don't mention the death.Describe an environment from the perspective of a bird, without saying you're a bird.
As you do these, I bet you'll start to develop some kind of story. A story, on really simple terms, can just be described as plot tension. A character wants something, but can't get it because of xyz. That's plot tension. Maybe the character is yourself, an aspiring writer who can't seem to understand how the words come to being on the page. Write about it, by all means. At this stage, it's most important to write. Nobody's expecting your short story to be a masterpiece. If you write the most horrid things in the English language, that's okay. Nobody has to see it and you've hopefully gotten better. It's a process.
Once you can easily do the above exercises (or others you found) take your favorite one and turn it into a story. No more than 1000 words. If you like your Elderly Woman story, add the part about her husband dying and her struggling to accept it. Hell, she doesn't even have to say anything. If you just say "The funeral had ended, and Joanne walked home alone. Her spirit waned as the pain in her thighs and calves grew, until it felt that each step came close to ripping a muscle. She sat down on a park bench and looked at..." Then your description. That's plot tension. You've told a story! Pat yourself on the back.
Now, do the same thing but make it 1500 words. You might struggle with this, that's okay. If you get stuck, have your character walk or drive somewhere. That'll give you a chance to describe their thoughts, surroundings, and hopefully, add to the tension. In high level writing, you don't quite want to make something happen that is a result of your lack of words. But, you're learning about plot tension, so that doesn't concern you yet.
Keep ramping up the word count. I promise you you'll reach a point where you begin to understand how stories are structured. An epiphany will strike you and you'll realize: "Wait, a novel is just a really long story. I can do that!"
And hopefully you will.
It changed my whole perception of writing fiction and I hope it will change yours.
Also, if you're into writing, go to the main page and check out Vasily's writing workshop.
The next deal will go up soon and will focus more on entrepreneurial skills again.


text: Trans-Pacific Aerospace Company, Inc. (OTCBB: TPAC.OB) announced today that spherical bearings from its China subsidiary continue to pass independent laboratory testing under SAE Aerospace Standard 81820. The company also announced that Bill McKay has been named General Manager of Godfrey Guangzhou Aerospace Bearings, the bearing manufacturer in China and Godfrey (China) Limited's wholly owned foreign entity ("WFOE"). Godfrey (China) Limited is Trans-Pacific Aerospace Company's 25%-owned subsidiary. The bearings have now successfully passed axial load tests, bond integrity and peel strength tests, radial and axial play tests, conformity tests, radial static limit load tests, ultimate load tests, no-load rotational torque breakaway tests, dimensional tests and the first of six oscillation tests when exposed to fluid contaminants. The company announced earlier this month that the bearings had passed 25,000 cycle testing at ambient temperature. "We are very happy with bearing performance under some very harsh testing conditions," said Bill McKay, Trans-Pacific Aerospace CEO. "The bearings are surpassing requirements by a healthy margin, and we are confident that they will not only pass the remaining fluid contaminant and temperature tests but that the U.S. Navy will have comparable results in their testing." Bearings made by Godfrey Guangzhou Aerospace Bearings, the wholly owned foreign entity of Godfrey (China) Limited will be submitted to the U.S. Navy for official qualification testing after the balance of independent testing. Should the bearings pass U.S. Navy qualification testing, the China facility will become the first approved manufacturer of SAE-AS81820 bearings in China. Bill McKay was also named General Manager of the WFOE. "We think that it's important that the WFOE be managed by someone with a strong background in and knowledge of this business and Bill is that person," said Peter Liu, Chairman of Godfrey China. "He and his team worked very hard to produce these bearings and we're confident that he'll work hard to insure the continuing success of the project."


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Who has the highest post count these days?
Who has been around the longest?
Do any of you remember your first avatar?
How did Damien Mayfair come up with his porn name?
Will Fano figure out the meaning of life this weekend?
What is fsdghcamel's default hair color?
Is Tuffy an ex-ballerina?


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Keloid scar
Keloid scar
Keloids are an overgrowth of scar tissue at the site of a healed skin injury. They often create a thick, puckered effect simulating a tumor. Keloids may be reduced in size by freezing (cryotherapy), external pressure, corticosteroid injections, laser treatments, radiation, or surgical removal.
A.D.A.M. content is best viewed in IE9 or above, Fire Fox and chrome browser.


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Demeter Picture
In Greek mythology Demeter was the goddess of the harvest, who presided over grains, the fertility of the earth, the seasons (personified by the Hours), and the harvest. Though Demeter is often described simply as the goddess of the harvest, she presided also over the sanctity of marriage, the sacred law, and the cycle of life and death. She and her daughter Persephone were the central figures of the Eleusinian Mysteries that also predated the Olympian pantheon.
(from Wikipedia)
(from Wikipedia)


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-Cold, snowy start to May
-Weekly Weather Potpourri
-MPR listener question
-Almanac for May 6th
-Past weather features
-pitchforks and hammer handles
Topic: Cold, snowy start to May for some
Several observers reported a very cold start to May. May 1st was the coldest in history for some. The National Weather Service put out a notice that Grand Forks tied their record for coldest daytime temperature on May 1st with a reading of only 34 degrees F. Similarly, Fosston, Thief River Falls, and Wadena reported record maximum values of just 30 degrees F, while McIntosh, MN reported a high of only 26 degrees F. St Cloud reported a record cold maximum temperature value on May 1st of 39 degrees F, while Eau Claire reported a record cold maximum temperature on May 2nd of just 39 degrees F as well. Embarrass reported overnight lows of just 18 degrees F on both May 3rd and May 4th. All of these readings rival those of the previous coldest start to May back in 1909.
Many observers also reported snowfall on the first two days of May, albeit just a trace. Nevertheless some communities received measurable amounts. Warren ( Marshall County) reported 1.3 inches, International Falls 0.4 inches, Twin Valley 0.6 inches, Moorhead 0.7 inches, Brainerd 0.2 inches, and Itasca State Park 0.2 inches. Perhaps these are the last snowfall reports of the spring.
Weekly Weather Potpourri:
NOAA has a comprehensive report out about the historic and tragic tornado outbreak of April 25-26 last week. Preliminary estimates suggest 305 tornadoes, and the National Weather Service issued warnings on over 90 percent of them with an average lead time of 24 minutes. For more statistics and discussion of this outbreak you can go to their web site at...
The U.S. Drought Monitor shows that drought across Texas is worsening. In some areas it is the worst drought in 44 years. Their state climatologist reports that on a statewide basis March and April precipitation in 2011 was the driest of record, and April alone was the 5th driest in history. You can read more about this and associated consequences at...
Elsewhere the Army Corps of Engineers was blasting levees this week to try to safe Cairo, Illinois and other areas from historic flooding on Ohio and Mississippi Rivers. As a result up to 200 square miles of Missouri farmland may be lost to production for the 2011 growing season. You can read more about this matter at...
The National Weather Service-Louisville, KY Office has put together a comprehensive climatology for the 137 years of the Kentucky Derby horse race. Did you know the Derby race was run in 94 degrees F heat back in 1959? Tomy Lee won that race and must have needed a big drink of water. You can read more at...
The Met Office in the United Kingdom announced this week that based on preliminary data April of 2011 was the warmest in history. It was also the 11th driest April in the U.K. climate history. Temperatures averaged 3 to 5 degrees C above average for the month. Tabular data and further narrative can be found at...
MPR listener question: We have heard many stories about farmers coping with a later than normal planting season. What are some other measures of spring showing?
Answer: Well, first of all our most recent memories from last year are of one of the earliest springs in Minnesota history. Earliest ever ice-out dates on many lakes, as well as earliest agricultural planting season in history were major features of the spring in 2010. This year is quite a contrast, but not terribly far off average. For example,
Leech Lake (Cass County) was ice-free on April 6, 2010, this year it finally was ice-free on May 1st (average date is April 27)
Lake Bemidji (Beltrami County) was ice free on April 6, 2010, this year it was ice-free on April 28th (average date is April 26)
You can find other lake ice-out information for the current year and historical dates by going to
Among other phenological observations: Rhubarb is about a week late this year, and many lilac bushes, as well as aspen and maple trees are budding and leafing out up to a week later in many areas. By this time last year many lawns had already been mowed once. Soil temperatures are only recently suitable for spring planting of corn (above 50 degrees F), running about 1 to 2 weeks behind on the calendar.
Almanac for May 6th:
The average MSP high temperature for this date is 65 degrees F (plus or minus 12 degrees standard deviation), while the average low is 44 degrees F (plus or minus 8 degrees standard deviation).
MSP Local Records for May 6th:
MSP weather records for this date include: highest daily maximum temperature of 89 degrees F in 1896 and 1934; lowest daily maximum temperature of 35 degrees F in 1931; lowest daily minimum temperature of 25 degrees F in 1989; highest daily minimum temperature of 67 degrees F in 1896; record precipitation of 1.51 inches in 1939; record snowfall of 0.2 inches in 1947.
Average dew point for May 6th is 37 degrees F, with a maximum of 66 degrees F in 1965 and a minimum of 14 degrees F in 1989.
All-time state records for May 6th:
Scanning the state climatic data base: the all-time high for this date is 98 degrees F at Grand Meadow (Mower County) in 1934; the all-time low is 12 degrees F at Alborn (St Louis County) in 1944. The all-time record precipitation amount for this date is 3.48 inches at Minneota (Lyon County) in 1983. The state record daily snowfall for this date is 10.0 inches at Roseau (Roseau County) in 1938.
Past Weather Features:
Heat, drought, and dust storms visiting the state in May of 1934. On May 6th at least 12 Minnesota cities reported a high of 90 degrees F or greater. At Fairmont it was the start of a 4-day heat wave, with each day reaching above 90 degrees F. The Fairmont observer recorded 14 days of 90 degrees F or warmer that may, topped by 108 degrees F on the 31st.
The first week of May in 1938 brought significant snowfalls to many Minnesota communities. Windom reported 12 inches, while far to the north Roseau reported 10 inches. Elsewhere Worthington and Winnebago received 6 inches, Fosston 9 inches, and Park Rapids 8 inches. It was the wettest May in state history as well, with a statewide average precipitation of nearly 6.25 inches. The observer at St Cloud reported 24 rainy days during the month.
On May 5, 1976 the observer in Milan, MN reported rainfall of 0.05 inches. Little did he know that was going to be the biggest rainfall of the month. Indeed, May of 1976 was one of the driest in state history. Many western Minnesota communities including Tyler, Milan, and Benson reported less than a quarter of an inch of rainfall for the month.
Word of the Week: pitchforks and hammer handles
Once upon a time in an older American culture these words were used to describe a very heavy rain, a dangerous rain where you would not want to be caught outside. "It's raining pitchforks and hammer handles" would certainly evoke a cautious attitude about going outside. Indeed few of us ever see it rain that hard but may be once or twice in a lifetime.
An unsettled period going into the weekend and early next week with frequent chances for precipitation and temperatures near seasonal normals, perhaps a bit warmer. A drier period is in store towards the end of next week by Thursday and Friday.
Further Information:
For older versions of the "Minnesota WeatherTalk" newsletter go to
For access to other information resources go to
NOTE: News releases were current as of the date of issue. If you have a question on older releases, use the news release search (upper left-hand column of the News main page) or the main Extension search (upper right of this page) to locate more recent information.


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Let us know when your receive great advice so we can thank our lawyers and point others with similar questions in the right direction.Got it!
Our son and daughter-in-law have lived appart in different states several years, but are not divorced. She is in Florida; he is in Colorado. She continues to dangle the possibility of reconciliation at him, but won't allow him to talk with or see his children. She says this is because her mother, who supports her and the children financially -- according to her beliefs -- won't allow it. No contact for him 'til he can support them in the same manner she does -- which is not possible, but I'm not sure he sees that part of "the deal" clearly.
Our relationship with our daughter-in-law and grandchildren, however, had been good, with lots of trips and visits (always paid for by us) and frequent communication. She and the children were also close with our other daughters and their families here in Colorado.
Then suddenly, last May, she stopped answering/returning phone calls and emails, nor have there been responses to gifts and letters sent. Checks sent as gifts have not been cashed. She took her myspace page "private" after we tried contacting her there. Attempts to contact her father, with whom she lives, have also been ignored -- or screened. Our son refuses to get involved because nothing is different as far as he is concerned -- and he believes her mother has just extended the "no contact" rule to us.
We believe this whole "my mom" thing is a sham, but the only clue we have to why she is doing this is a suggestion by our attorney here that Florida law may allow her to petition for divorce and termination of parental rights via public notice if she doesn't know where her husband and the children's father is. Which is absolutely not true, but perhaps a "logical" reason she has broken off all contact with our family.
Another strange possibility is that she has gone off the deep end, and God has told her to do this -- although I have no clue why She would. The last email from her in April told me she had "turned her life over to God." She has never shown particularly strong conservative convictions, but her mother is a fundamentalist. And our Grandson is enrolled in a Christian school -- very expensive, but also pretty fundamentalist, I believe. He told his cousin she was going to hell because she had not been baptized.
I have contacted an attorney in Florida who was referred by a frien, and another answer-your-question legal site. The attorney did not return my 2 emails or a phone calls. I was notified my question to the service "expired" before anyone answered it.
This doesn't seem to be a situation of interest -- possibly because there is no divorce, and our daughter-in-law does have the right to control our family's access to the children. I would appreciate knowing this for a fact, however -- or advice on how to tackle the situation in a manner that won't tolally alienate our daughter-in-law who truly is in charge; or our son who chooses to believe things will all be "ok" once she gets out from under her mother's control.
In some states grandparents have more rights than they do in Florida, where you only have visitation rights if DCF is involved. Because the children have been in Colorado, that is the state that will likely have jurisdiction of them. That means it will depend on Colorado grandparent laws.Ask a similar question
To add to previous answers, as the children appear to be in Florida, there are no "grandparents rights" (due to a change in law a few years back) unless (1) there is an ongoing dependency proceeding and (2) the children are NOT in the home with a parent. Given the facts as you lay them out, there does not appear to be a dependency proceeding ongoing at this time and the children are with a parent. While you may wish to directly consult with an attorney, it does not appear, under Florida law, that you have a legal basis to enforce visitation.Ask a similar question
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Skyrim 1.4 Update: Lag Fixes Work, But Bugs Remain – PS3 Gamers
Skyrim's worst problems are behind it on the PS3 according to gamers that have installed the long-awaited 1.4 patch – but the game still suffers from freezing and poor framerates according to posters on the Bethesda forums.
"After all the wait skyrim ps3 is still inferior. The fps is a bit better though but frames still drop in certain areas," writes one user.
"The game's framerate IS subpar. It's nice that the lag seems to be clearing up, but it dances around between 15 and 30 fps," comments another user, while other comments include: "FREEZING is not gone!"
Skyrim players were advised to create a new manual save to get the best out of the new update.
Bethesda also launched the Skyrim Creation Kit for PC last week.
Have you tried the Skyrim 1.4 patch on PS3? Are you still having problems? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!


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TMG-L ArchivesArchiver > TMG > 2004-04 > 1082701384
From: "John O'Neall" <>
Subject: Extra blank in godparents sentence
Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2004 08:23:12 +0200
Anyone else have the problem that the sentence for godparents sticks in
an extra blank (in a descendant journal report)?
"His godparents were..Pons Azam and Anthoinette Monete."
I've stuck in periods in place of the blanks after "were". I'm using
version 5.12 (for about an hour now)! Like the colors.
John O'Neall Genas, France
O'Neall Genealogy: http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~joneall/
Travels with Siv: http://joneall.nerim.net/
This thread:
|Extra blank in godparents sentence by "John O'Neall" <>


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The Church Usher
Chandel Smith
I wanted to create a puzzle that was made up of words that describe a church usher. These words consist of our role as ushers, things that indicate that we are ushers (uniform), and the attributes that ushers must have in order to be effective. Enjoy!
Some of the puzzles that people list for the public get indexed by the search engines (like Google). Some people find those puzzles and cannot figure out how to make a puzzle of their own. So this page now has the navigation sidebar.
There are now buttons on the puzzle so that you can get a clean page, in either HTML or PDF, that you can use your browser's print button to print. The PDF format allows the web site to know how large a printer page is, and the fonts are scaled to fill the page. The PDF takes awhile to generate. Don't panic!


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