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The Life of Archbishop
Gregory (Borishkevitch), first ruling hierarch of the Chicago Diocese
Vladika Gregory was born to loann and Juliana Borishkevitch on 18 April 1889 in the small village of Mezhirinsk, located in the Rovno District where the Ukraine meets Byelorussia and Poland. Baptised with the name of the Holy Greatmartyr, Trophy-Bearer and Wonderworker George, the future Vladika Gregory graduated from the local church high school in 1904, and from the Diocesan Seminary of Volhynia in 1910.
He furthered his education at the Imperial Kazan Theological Academy, from which he graduated as a Candidate of Theology (Master's Degree) in July 1914. The ruling hierarch of the Diocese of Volhynia at the time was Archbishop Antony (Khrapovitsky), later Metropolitan and first Chief Hierarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia. Vladika Antony gave his blessing to the young George Borishkevitch to study for the priesthood. Saint Jonah, Bishop and Wonderworker of Hankow, attended the Kazan Theological Academy during the same years as the future Vladika Gregory.
After his graduation from the Kazan Theological Academy, the young George Borishkevitch was tonsured a reader by Vladika Antony's successor at the head of the Diocese of Volhynia, Archbishop Evlogy (Georgievsky, later Metropolitan and leader of the 'Paris jurisdiction," which broke from the Russian Church Abroad in 1926). The Reader George Borishkevitch served in Saint Paul's Church in Zhitomir. After his marriage to Angelina Vassilievna Zagorovskaia, he was ordained to the diaconate by Bishop Thaddeus (Uspensky) of Vladimir- Volhynia on 30 January 1916, and to the priesthood by Archbishop Evlogy (Georgievsky) on 2 February 1916. After his ordination, the future Vladika Gregory held numerous teaching and administrative posts in Diocesan schools, such as the Women's Diocesan High School, the High School in Kremenets, and the Diocesan Seminary. He taught the Law of God, Liturgics, Russian language, and Russian history.
Due to the tremendous upheavals caused by the Bolshevik revolt, the Russian Civil War, and concurrent battles between the Bolsheviks and the newly independent state of Poland, much of the Diocese of Volhynia found itself included within the borders of the new Polish State. Due to the changing borders caused by revolution and war, the young Father George Borishkevitch came to live and serve the Holy Church in Poland. His matushka, Angelina, reposed in 1920. That same year, he was assigned as parish priest at the Church of Saint John the Theologian in Borisovitch.
The Polish government was quite suspicious of the Orthodox inhabitants of Poland, and especially nervous about any supposed 'loyalties' to Moscow, or to the Russian Church Abroad. The government insisted that the Orthodox in Poland must belong to a Polish Church, and entered into talks with the Patriarchate of Constantinople. After lengthy negotiations, Patriarch Gregory VII of Constantinople issued a Tomos of Autocephaly to the Orthodox communities in Poland, creating the Polish Orthodox Church in November of 1924. There were vocal protests against the creation of this new Church by Patriarch Tikhon, as well as by the Synod of Bishops of the Russian Church Abroad, citing the granting of autocephaly to the Polish Orthodox Church by the Patriarchate of Constantinople as an uncanonical interference into the internal affairs of the Russian Orthodox Church. The head of the new Polish Orthodox Church was Metropolitan Dionisy (Waledinsky) of Warsaw and All Poland.
In 1924, Metropolitan Dionisy (Waledinsky) appointed Father George Borishkevitch as Dean over a number of parishes of the new Polish Orthodox Church. In 1927, he was appointed rector of the Vladimir-Volhynsky Cathedral, and in 1932 rector of the Kremenets Cathedral. On 1 January 1939, he was appointed rector of the Holy Protection Cathedral in Grodno. Throughout these years, the future Vladika Gregory continued his educational work both as a teacher and an administrator, and also served on the Diocesan Missionary Committee, the Diocesan Spiritual Consistory, and served as Diocesan Dean.
After the Germans invaded the Soviet Union, they allowed religious freedom to the inhabitants of the areas they controlled. However, they mistrusted a unified Orthodox Church, and would not allow the Moscow Patriarchate, the Polish Orthodox Church, nor the Russian Church Abroad to minister to the Orthodox inhabitants of Byelorussia, which the Germans had separated from Poland and the Soviet Union. Hoping to foment anti-bolshevik and anti-Russian sentiments in Byelorussia, the Germans supported Byelorussian nationalism, and the creation of a Byelorussian Autocephalous Orthodox Church. Because of the wisdom and high spiritual caliber of the Hierarchs in Byelorussia, an autocephalous Church was never established. The Church in Byelorussia during World War II was called the Byelorussian Autonomous Church, as it declared itself free from the dictates of the bolshevik controlled Moscow Patriarchate. Although discouraged by the German occupation authorities, this newly free part of the Russian Orthodox Church almost immediately established contacts with the Russian Church Abroad, and cooperated with the Church Abroad whenever possible. The head of the Byelorussian Autonomous Church was Metropolitan Panteleimon (Rozhnovsky) of Minsk and All Byelorussia.
In 1942, Archbishop Venedikt (Bobkovsky) of Grodno recommended the widowed Mitred Protopresbyter George Borishkevitch as a candidate for the episcopate of the Byelorussian Autonomous Church. Vladika Venedikt not only sent his recommendation to Metropolitan Panteleimon (Rozhnovsky), but also to Metropolitan Seraphim (Lade), head of the Church Abroad's Central European Metropolitan District. Soon after his recommendation as a candidate for the episcopate, the Mitred Protopresbyter George Borishkevitch was tonsured a monk with the name Gregory, after Saint Gregory of Nyssa. Soon after his tonsure, he was elevated to Archimandrite.
In October of 1943, the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia met in Vienna, Austria. Also represented at the Council were two newly free parts of the Russian Orthodox Church-the Byelorussian Autonomous Church, and the Ukrainian Autonomous Church. The principal business of the Council was to condemn the so-called "election" of Metropolitan Sergius (Stragorodsky) as Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia. The Council issued an epistle declaring the election as uncanonical and invalid.
On 11/24 October 1943, during the Divine Liturgy celebrated in the Saint Nicholas Cathedral in Vienna, Archimandrite Gregory (Borishkevitch) was consecrated to the episcopate as Bishop of Gomel and Mozirsk for the Byelorussian Autonomous Church. Presiding over the consecration was Metropolitan Anastassy (Gribanovsky, +1965), Chief Hierarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia, assisted by Metropolitan Seraphim (Lukianov) of Paris and Western Europe; Metropolitan Seraphim (Lade) of Berlin and Central Europe; Bishop Sergey (Korolev) of Prague; Bishop Venedikt of Grodno of the Byelorussian Autonomous Church; Bishop Vassily (Pavlovsky) of Vienna; and Bishop Philip (von Gardner) of Potsdam.
At the end of June 1944, the entire episcopate of the Byelorussian Autonomous Church, along with many members of their flock, fled West to escape the advance of the Red Army, and the Bolshevik yoke that would follow in its wake. In Germany, the hierarchs of the Byelorussian Autonomous Church ministered to their flock, and entered into cooperation with the RussianChurch Abroad. Early in 1946, the Byelorussian hierarchs decided in Council to seek admission into the Russian Church Abroad. Metropolitan Panteleimon (Rozhnovsky) insisted that joining the Church Abroad was the only possible course of action for the Byelorussian hierarchs; this resulted in a unanimous decision by the Byelorussian hierarchs to do so.
In April of 1946, a meeting of the Council of Bishops of the Russian Church Abroad was held in Munich, Germany. During this Council, the Byelorussian hierarchs (as well as several hierarchs of the Ukrainian Autonomous Church) were received into the Russian Church Abroad. The Byelorussian hierarchs received into the Church Abroad at that time were: Archbishop Filofei (Narko), later of Berlin and Germany; Archbishop Venedikt (Bobkovsky), later of Berlin and Germany; Bishop Afanassy (Martos), later Archbishop of Buenos Aires and Argentina; Bishop Stefan (Sevbo), later Archbishop of Vienna and Austria; and Bishop Gregory (Borishkevitch), later Archbishop of Chicago, Detroit, and Midwest America. Also during the Council of Bishops of 1946 in Munich, Vladika Gregory delivered an extensive report and plan for establishing a seminary of the Russian Church Abroad in Western Europe. Due to the exodus from Europe of so many of the faithful of the Russian Church Abroad in the years after World War II, the plans were never realized.
After his reception into the Russian Church Abroad, Vladika Gregory served as Bishop of Bamberg, Vicar of the Diocese of Berlin and Germany until 1947, when he was appointed as Bishop of Montreal and Eastern Canada. From 1950, Vladika Gregory was a member of the Hierarchical Synod, and in 1952, he was elevated to Archbishop.
In 1954, when the Synod of Bishops created the Diocese of Chicago and Cleveland, Vladika Gregory wasappointed to head the new Diocese. Vladika Gregory was active in his new Diocese, consecrating the Holy Trinity Church in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in 1954; the Saint Sergius Cathedral in Cleveland, Ohio in 1955; and Saint Panteleirnon's Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1956. Also, while Vladika Gregory headed the Diocese, the following parishes were established: Holy Trinity in Fort Wayne, Indiana; Joy of All Who Sorrow in Cleveland, Ohio; and Holy Protection in Goshen, Indiana.
In 1957, upon the repose of Archbishop leronim (Chernov) of Detroit and Flint, this small Diocese of four parishes was joined to the Diocese of Chicago and Cleveland, and Vladika Gregory was given the new title "of Chicago, Detroit, and Midwest America."
Vladika Gregory became ill with cancer in 1957, and reposed in the Lord on 13/26 October 1957, just two days after the 14th anniversary of his consecration to the episcopate. He was buried in the monastic cemetery behind the Holy Trinity Cathedral at Holy Trinity- Monastery in Jordanville, New York.
Only few people survive who remember Vladika Gregory; their memory of him as a humble hierarch who was truly concerned with the spiritual welfare of his flock is cherished by them. Memory Eternal!
Condensed from:
Woerl, Michael
- - 'Sovyeshchanie Arkhiereev v Vien' Pravoslavnaya Rus
- - 'Opredyelenie Sovyeshchanie Russkikh Episkopov v Vien' Tserkovnaya
- - Pamyatka 25-letiya Sushchestvovanie Pokrovskago Kafedralnogo
Sobora Russkoi Pravostavnoi Tserkvi Zagranitsei,
Alexeev, Wassilij and Theofanis J. Stavrou
(Borishkevitch), Archbishop Gregory
Kasiak, 1.
(Lemeshevsky), Metropolitan Manuil
Seide, Father Georg
Sollogub, Count A.A., editor


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The Healing Power of Forgiveness
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Before I ever forgave others or helped individuals learn to forgive, I always thought forgiveness granted all the benefits to the offender. In the process of struggling with forgiveness, I've found that it's my own soul that receives the greatest benefit from it. I've witnessed amazing changes in people through the healing power of forgiveness.
What Forgiveness Is Not
Forgiveness is not forgetting. I challenge you to find the verse that says, "Forgive and forget" in your Bible. Get a concordance and try to find it. It won't be there.
I'll always remember the most significant experiences of forgiveness in my life. These memories are of spiritual victories whereby God overcame the fear, rage and resistance created in my soul by another person's actions toward me. In true forgiveness, I release my hatred, self-protection and desire for vengeance, but I keep all of my short- and long-term memories. When we've experienced the healing power of forgiveness, we never forget the release we feel in our souls. Through forgiving, we're able to forget "what lies behind" and reach forward to "what lies ahead" (Philippians 3:13), which involves letting go of the pain and being freed from hatred, fear and bitterness. We remember those painful circumstances in a way that gives us hope for the future. True forgiveness gives us back our lives.
Forgiveness is not masking hurt. When we're sinned against, we hurt. Our instincts tell us to control the hurt. Many of us are pros at denying our hurt. We think that's forgiveness, but it's not.
When Jesus hung on the cross, He died for every sin you and I will ever commit. Second Corinthians 5:21 says that He became sin for us. Our Savior didn't smile and say, "Oh, they really aren't that bad." No, He was deeply and completely acquainted with our wretchedness. That was the only way He could forgive us for everything. We can't forgive a transgression if we won't let ourselves face how angry, hurt and betrayed we feel because of the offense.
Forgiveness is not an emotion. After we've been hurt, we want to feel better. Many of us try to use forgiveness as a feeling to make us happier. Forgiveness is not an action we take without agony of the soul. It's not easy to do. For me, forgiveness begins as a decision to trust God, rather than a desire or feeling of wanting to be close to the person who has offended me. My emotions toward the person may be completely antagonistic, but that doesn't affect my decision about forgiving that person.
Forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation. The great thing about forgiveness is that we're free to forgive each and every person who has ever sinned against us. Forgiveness doesn't depend on reconciliation.
It's freeing to know that our part of forgiveness doesn't depend on the response of the offender. However, reconciliation does depend on the offender. Reconciliation is possible only when the forgiver and the person being forgiven can come to terms about the offense.
Forgiveness is not revictimization. Many people are afraid of forgiveness because they think it means they'll become the victim of the person who has sinned against them. This is not what Jesus teaches.
True forgiveness cleanses a heart of the damage caused by an offense. In the process of forgiveness, we realize the need for boundaries — decisions we make about our relationship to the offender that prevent the relationship from being unhealthy, that prevent us from being revictimized. When God asks you to forgive others who have offended you, He is not asking you to be a victim. Being a victim and forgiving are two totally different things.
It's also easy to practice false forgiveness, but there's nothing less satisfying to the soul. We can waste a lot of time, effort and energy buying into false forgiveness.
What does it mean to truly forgive? Let's take a look at the positive side of forgiveness now.
What Forgiveness Is
Forgiveness is a process. Perhaps God is speaking to you about a person you need to forgive. You can begin the process of forgiveness today, but that doesn't mean you will instantly feel the freedom of complete forgiveness.
For deep offenses, it may take years to experience the full freedom of forgiveness. I compare forgiveness to peeling layers off an onion. You can dig deeply and take off many layers at once, but there are lots of thin layers as well, which makes forgiveness a process of patiently addressing the issues that come up.
Committing to the process means admitting that you're powerless to forgive on your own. You're telling God that you want Him to forgive through you. You're willing to begin, knowing it may take years before you feel the complete release of God's work of forgiveness in your heart.
Forgiveness is a decision. The most important contribution you make in the process of forgiveness is to trust God enough to make the decision to forgive. In human matters, forgiveness comes down to a decision. It's a decision to trust that God knows more than you do and that forgiving the person who hurt you will heal you.
No one can force us to forgive, and no one can keep us from forgiving. Forgiveness is a decision to trust not our own instincts but the voice of God. When I've decided to forgive, it wasn't because the offender asked me to do so or even acted in a way that created a desire in me to forgive. I forgave because I trusted that God loves me and that He would never tell me to do something that wasn't good for me.
Forgiveness is desiring reconciliation. You can use this act of forgiveness as a litmus test to determine how far along you are in the process of forgiveness. As God cleanses our souls from bitterness and hatred, He replaces them with love. As forgiveness does its work, you move from being an obsessed, embittered woman to a willing agent of God's love. The reconciliation that you desire is evidence of the changes going on in your heart through forgiveness. Perhaps the person we're forgiving and seeking reconciliation with doesn't see things the same way we do. But for reconciliation to take place, there must be an openness in the hearts of both parties to admit wrong and come to a mutual understanding.
Forgiveness is alchemy for the soul. True forgiveness brings about a seemingly magical transformation. Whereas we were once burdened, consumed and obsessed, now we're transformed, free and willing. When I was 16 years old, I read a quote that has had a great impact on the way I've lived my life: "I will never allow another person to ruin my life by making me hate him." God has used these words to keep my soul free from the burden of hate. Hate creates chemical reactions in our bodies. Unresolved hatred and anger have been linked to heart disease and burnout. A soul that's free of hate through forgiveness goes through a chemical transformation.
Steps to Forgiveness
There are no "six simple steps to forgiveness." But I've seen myself and others go through stages. Here are three stages of the forgiveness process that have helped guide people through the path of forgiveness.
1. Fully examine the wrong. A lot of us don't experience the full healing power of forgiveness because our spirituality won't allow us to feel the anger that's stored inside. Ephesians 4:26 says to be angry and sin not. Anger in itself is not sin. It's what we do with our anger that makes it sin. I find it helpful to express the anger in my soul in a letter that I don't send to the person who offended me. This helps me fully recognize the reality of who and what God is asking me to forgive.
2. Confess your own sins. How have you allowed the sin committed against you to influence you to sin? Have you been angry at God? Have you developed a life of hate and anger? Have you become afraid to live? Have you not loved well? Have you been afraid to love God? It's important for you to honestly admit your own sins and take responsibility for your own life in the process of forgiveness.
3. Commit to the process of forgiveness. Now it's time to let God do what only He can do. Forgiveness in the Spirit is a spiritual process. He can reach and cleanse places in your soul that you could never touch. It's time to trust God and let Him free you from the bondage of unforgiveness.
True forgiveness is one of the most important instructions Jesus gives us. The reality of a fallen world makes forgiveness the only true remedy for the damage done to our souls by hurtful relationships. I challenge you to consider the deep work of forgiveness and let God know that you're willing to practice true forgiveness in your relationship. As you practice true forgiveness, you're well on your way toward ending your cycle of damaging relationships.
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|Every Time You Bring Freedom to the Oppressed,Compassion to the Wounded;Every Time You Forgive,Heal,Love..You Do The Will of your Heavenly Father
|Forgiveness Heals All Wounds And Frees Our Souls
|Let us heal through self forgiveness
|Overcoming forgiveness, heal bitter roots, ground negative energy through Christ
|Rev. Manning Report: PATRIOTISM, REPENTANCE, FORGIVENESS, HEAL AMERICA.

subset: commoncrawl


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You have by the verb phrase, am doing, described a progressive action, an action going on in the present.
In the following poem, mark every noun and every verb and verb phrase.
When we ask the question what millions do, our question is answered by the verb phrase, do live.
So the word bought is a part of the verb phrase, are bought.
Has diminished is the verb phrase, which is the simple predicate of this sentence.
When we use a verb phrase, it expresses some other time than the past or present.
The simple predicate is the verb or verb phrase without its modifiers.
The negative not very often separates the words forming a verb phrase.
We denote future time by use of a verb phrase made by placing shall or will before the simple form of the verb.
In this sentence, work is the subject of the sentence and will be commenced is the verb phrase.


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CBA changes: The debt rules
While the changes to the collective bargaining agreement that affect the game on the field made a lot of the press, the new and updated debt rules weren't publicized as much. Thanks to a great column by Neil deMause at Field of Schemes, we get a nice breakdown of the changes and specifically how they affect the Oakland Athletics' pursuit of a new ballpark.
Before the rule change, there was a default EBITDA multiplier of ten, and this went up to 15 if the team had stadium-related debt. EBITDA is a financial acronym that stands for "earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization." These number went down under the new collective bargaining agreement, and now there is a debt multiplier of eight unless the team has stadium debt, and then it goes up to twelve.
The column goes on to talk about how the Athletics' EBITDA is around $22-23 million, which would support about $360 million in stadium debt. That means the new rules (probably put in place to remove the chance of another Los Angeles Dodgers situation) still leave the Athletics with the ability to finance a new ballpark yet gives the other teams in the league some added financial accountability.
Bud Selig—commissioner for life
It's been a while since Bud Selig announced that he would retire at the end of his current term here in 2012. Since that time, Selig has reiterated that he's done. Of course that didn't stop the owners from wanting to give Selig another two-year term at the upcoming round of owners' meetings.
This time it looks like it's only going to be a two-year extension rather than four years, so that will probably make it more palatable to Selig. The owners like him, so it's not a big surprise that they want him to stay on. It will be interesting how he justifies going back on his word (again) that he was going to retire, though.
Mets hire turnaround firm
The New York Mets hired CRG Partners to take a look at the Mets' financial reporting and budgeting process. CRG was the firm that worked with the Texas Rangers when they went through their bankruptcy, and the Mets were quick to advertise the fact that they were not filing for bankruptcy protection.
This is a weird move to have a big-name firm look at the team's budget, so I think there's more here. The team is mired in a ton of debt, and while they keep talking about selling shares of the team, nothing has happened. Throw in the fact that Sandy Alderson said the team lost $70 million last year, and it will be interesting to see how CRG can right this financially sinking ship.
Disney family considering bid for Dodgers
The family of Roy Disney is considering making a bid for the Los Angeles Dodgers as the pool of bidders continues to increase. Roy Disney is the nephew of Walt Disney, and they're affiliated with Walt Disney Co. ,which owned the then-Anaheim Angels from 1998 through 2003. The column lists eight other potential bidders who have been mentioned in the upcoming (but unscheduled) auction.
Rays stadium update
It must have been a slow news day because, while Tampa Bay Rays owner Stuart Sternberg meets with St. Petersburg mayor Bill Foster next week, we get a rundown of how the Rays are a good team but dead last in attendance. Sternberg mentions some quotes by Bud Selig and goes on to discuss how his actions aren't being questioned but how the league is locked in on how the Rays can survive under the current stadium situation.
Odds are, the meeting next week between Sternberg and Foster will yield little as far as results. Still, it gives us something to talk about and the writers a throwaway column.


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Steelers great Butler has yet to enter Hall of Fame
With Pittsburgh Steelers defensive guru Dick LeBeau now enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Jack Butler's supporters are redoubling efforts to get the cornerback into Canton.
Long considered one of the National Football League's greatest defensive backs, Butler, 82, also helmed the groundbreaking BLESTO scouting service. But sportswriters and the Hall of Fame's Seniors Committee continue to punt his selection.
"When he was a player, Jack played for a very bad team. Had he played for the Lions or the Browns, he would've already been in the Hall of Fame, no questions asked," said Steelers vice president and minority owner Art Rooney Jr.
"We had all the greats from later teams get in, so people said there were too many Steelers. But this has penalized L.C. Greenwood, Andy Russell and Jack Butler. They should be in the Hall of Fame, too, but Jack was one of the greatest players to ever play the game and that means something special."
A native of Pittsburgh's Oakland neighborhood, Butler was raised in Whitehall. Attending seminary prep school in Canada, he never played high school football. When he gave up on becoming a priest, he made the roster at New York's St. Bonaventure University.
He joined the Steelers' camp as an undrafted free agent in 1951, a scrawny kid on the single wing. The last guy to make the team, Butler became an undersized third-string defensive end. Early in his rookie season, however, injuries in the secondary made him a cornerback.
"I'd never really played defensive back before," Butler said. "But I gave it my all."
At the end of a stellar season, franchise founder Art Rooney Sr. paid him a $500 bonus. For the following eight years, Butler starred for a team that produced only two winning campaigns. And he toiled offseasons as an electrician's handyman, a Vandergrift mill worker and a ranchhand on The Chief's horse farm.
"I sure didn't get rich playing football," Butler said.
For the past two years, Greensburg's Jeffrey W. Weber, an MSA Sports Network executive, has forwarded a breakdown of Butler's career statistics to Hall voters: 52 interceptions and 10 fumble recoveries. According to Weber's analysis, Butler did it by averaging a pick every eight passes attempted against him.
Butler's 827 return yards off interceptions tops all other Steelers, including Mel Blount and Rod Woodson. He's the only defensive back of the NFL's 1950s All-Decade Team not in Canton.
"Teams didn't throw as often back then, but when they did, they faced no tougher challenge than Jack Butler," Weber said. "He was a clean player. He hit hard, but he was fair. He was the best player on what charitably might be called a 'mediocre' team. Had he not been injured in 1959, he would've set records that would've taken years to break."
Butler's career stats mirror Detroit's Jack Christiansen, who was inducted into the Hall in 1970. Drafted a year after Christiansen retired, LeBeau in 1959 took up his mantle as a lockdown Lion. He's a fan of Butler, too.
"He's one of the best in the Steelers franchise, and you're talking about some pretty great players there," said LeBeau.
When he rolls up his trousers, Butler's knee looks like a drumstick twisted into a white knot, the aftermath of a 1959 injury that ended his career. The following season found him hobbling on crutches — hired by the Buffalo Bills as a coach, but unable to withstand the pain of working out with players.
Needing to support wife Bernadette and a Munhall family that grew to eight children, Butler scouted Steelers competitors. In 1963, he caught on at LESTO — short for the Lions, Eagles, Steelers Talent Organization — a pooled scouting service that rated pro prospects nationwide. It later became BLESTO when the Chicago Bears joined, then BLESTO-V with the Minnesota Vikings.
Today, it's just BLESTO, and it represents the Steelers, Bills, Miami Dolphins, Jacksonville Jaguars, Lions, Vikings and New York Giants. It competes with The National, serving 18 franchises, and all the teams that do their own scouting.
Butler ran BLESTO for 44 years, retiring in 2007. Art Rooney Jr., former Steelers coach Chuck Noll and Butler's BLESTO sculpted the dominant gridiron dynasty of the 1970s, and it became a breeding ground for top NFL scouts, many of whom later rose to become personnel directors, such as the Steelers' Kevin Colbert.
Butler already has shipped scouting appraisals of tens of thousands of college prospects to Canton. They're just waiting for the man who signed off on them, often using increasingly sophisticated stats, software programs, stopwatches and strength tests to rate potential. BLESTO and other services also founded the Indianapolis pre-draft combine that has become a collegiate rite of passage.
"We were looking at the archetypal player," Butler said. "If you were looking at the best possible combination of speed, power, intelligence and other qualities at each position, what would it all look like• So we set it up like that, ranking prospects from the 'ideal' to less impressive. We wanted teams to see what the standards should be for a player to be successful in the NFL.
"But we also knew that you can't always judge a book by the cover. Sometimes, we would find a player who didn't look on paper like he would be a great player, but there was just something about him that came out when he played in a game. Then I would simply say, 'This guy can play football.' "
In BLESTO's early years, scouts confronted an NFL desegregating in fits and starts. Butler refused to consider race in player evaluations. Instead, he divided the nation geographically and demanded scouts rate a prospect solely by ability.
"I only cared if they could play," said Butler. "The rest of the stuff wasn't important to me."
Including getting into Canton.
"I don't like to talk about myself like that," he said. "I don't care if I get in or not. I'm just glad that I contributed. I'm very proud of playing in the league and giving back afterward, but I don't dwell on the other stuff."


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Los Angeles, California (PRWEB) April 01, 2014
PB Financial Group has recently released the news that its founder, Pouyan Broukhim, has joined the National Association of Mortgage Brokers. LAD Solutions has been selected to release this information in order to help the news to spread about the recent appointment. This announcement comes just weeks after Broukhim received a mention from NAMB recognizing his accomplishments in the industry.
The National Association of Mortgage Brokers, also known as NAMB, has been representing the interests of professionals in the mortgage broker industry since 1973. Pouyan Broukhim is joining this organization after his honorary inclusion in NAMB's MP America Hot 100 2014 which was compiled this year for the first time. The association strives to provide mortgage brokers with educational opportunities, certification programs and mandates that it members adhere only to the highest standards. NAMB is also the sole trade association to represent mortgage brokers on a national scale.
Pouyan Broukhim, who is the founder of PB Financial Group, will be participating in NAMB because of the fact that his business is one of the top lending firms in California. In 2013, PB Financial loaned out over $75 million to both commercial and residential real estate clients. The company works as a small brokerage and typically works in hard money transactions averaging up to about $2 million per transaction.
PB Financial Group has made a name for itself with regards to service by operating with a quick approval process. PB Financial is also listed in the Scotsman Guide. In approving loan applications, companies can get accepted in just a few minutes and companies can request a loan SCIO, before loan approval takes place.
Before founding PB Financial Group in 2006, Broukhim graduated from California State University- Northridge in 2003 with a degree in Accounting & Math. He then became licensed with both BRE and NMLS. Prior to this latest recognition as an official of NAMB, Broukhim has received recognition as a member of several professional organizations including AAPL and CMA.
About PB Financial Group:
PB Financial Group was founded in 2006 by Pouyan Broukhim. Pouyan Broukhim works in the company occupying the positions of President and CEO. The company has set its place in the industry as small brokerage and is currently one of the top private money lenders in California. PB Financial Group works with a variety of companies in providing lending such as sub prime money borrowers, investors, corporations, and probate estates who do not qualify for traditional underwriting guidelines. To learn more about about PB Financial Group, visit pbfinancialgrp.com.


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on 12/21/2010 8:25:00 PM
Age: 18 & Under
Skin: Combination, Olive, Cool
Hair: Brown, Other, Medium
Eyes: Brown
I dont know about you guys but man I LOVE THIS STUFF! Im not sure why others are having problems but this improved my skin over night. Not all because everyone knows it takes time but its cheap and the acne line is amazing!
on 10/6/2010 9:56:00 PM
Age: 30-35
Skin: Sensitive, Fair, Neutral
Hair: Brown, Straight, Fine
Eyes: Brown
I just got done with my trial bar of this soap, so I feel I can give it a fair assessment. The sample lasted me about three weeks (with once a day use), which is really good. My skin background: Normal to dry in the cooler months, and much oilier during the summer. Hormonal acne breakouts on a pretty regular basis. The first week of use, I had some trepidation, because I began to break out in little whiteheads across my chin area, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and continue using it. The problem subsided on its own the second week, so I attribute that to other factors and not solely this bar. I have no problems washing away foundation and moisturizer with this, and my skin is left extremely clean, but also smooth and moisturized. Usually I tend to get some sort of residue-afterfeel with bar soaps, but not with this one. Lovely. The scent is distinctly herbal, which I love, although I can't pin down exactly what the notes are. I would purchase a full size.
on 9/26/2010 11:16:00 AM
Age: 19-24
Skin: Combination, Medium, Not Sure
Hair: Black, Other, Other
Eyes: Brown
I thought the fact that this product is natural and made of so many dif. oils would not dry my skin out. Uhh..wrong. After just two uses my face was so freaking dry it took 3 days to recover. It did not make my face feel good at all. It made it worse.
on 8/16/2010 5:56:00 PM
Age: 19-24
Skin: Combination, Medium, Not Sure
Hair: Brunette, Other, Other
Eyes: Brown
I've been using this product for about three-fourths of a year, and I think it's a great product. I only use it in the morning, putting it in a soap dish. I rub the bar across my face, then lather some up in my hands and massage my face, then rinse it off. I bought this at a time when I had been having these reoccuring pimples in the same spots, I don't consider myself very acne-prone, just a few spots that drive me crazy every once in awhile (I'm a pimple picker). However, unlike most reviewers here, I have dry-combination skin. I used to suffer from dry patches and small patches of peeling skin on my nose, but this bar neither helped nor harmed this, so I think dry-combo skin people can use this as well. It did a really good job of clearing up those pimples and keeping them gone, and my bar had a rough bead-like texture in some spots, which at first is a little rough on the skin, but I think it helped exfoliate my skin ( don't press down hard though). This has become a staple item for me, it leaves my skin really clean and healthy, in conjunction with my Sun polisher (for face exfoliation), purity made simple cleanser (for nighttime) and this in the morning, my skin is on a nice routine of clear moisturized skin.
on 5/29/2010 12:24:00 AM
Age: 25-29
Skin: Oily, Fair, Not Sure
Hair: Brunette, Other, Other
Eyes: Blue
OK, I have never posted a review on this site even though I have been lurking for several months. I had never heard of Best Bath Store until watching a video on youtube by JuicyStar07. I'll make this quick-THIS STUFF IS AMAZING! YOU HAVE TO BUY IT! I cannot explain in words how this has changed my skin. It is unbelievable. Please please please buy it. I am not being paid by BBS, never received a single dime from them, never a free item etc. I just want everyone to try it just once. Or if you don't want to pay $4.95 for the full size bar, you can get 5 free samples for free + 6.95 shipping. I haven't even received my full-size bar yet-just have been using the sample for the past 3 days. OMG PLEASE TRY IT. You won't regret it. And, to make it all the better, they do not test on animals. THANK YOU BBS!
on 5/28/2010 1:21:00 PM
Age: 25-29
Skin: Combination, Fair-Medium, Warm
Hair: Brunette, Straight, Medium
Eyes: Blue
This stuff works! I have combination skin and I get mild acne on my t-zone so I wanted to find something natural but effective to use during my pregnancy. I recommend trying out the free sample first to see if it works for you...some people find it too drying, others just right. Like the other reviewers have mentioned, the smell is herbal and medicinal smelling which I don't mind at all- it's pleasant to my nose. I use this in conjuction with my cetaphil cleanser in the morning. I use a little bit of this soap on my t-zone and near my hairline where my oil production/mild acne breakouts occur and I cleanse the rest of my face with cetaphil and moisturize aftewards. It leaves my face squeeky clean afterwards without stripping or drying my face. This combination really seems to work at keeping my skin in balance. And the price is right.
I'm only giving this 4 lippies because of the package quality. It comes in a gauze bag which I throw away- it's completely impractical for storage. So I store the bar in one of my extra lush tins and that seems to work pretty well.
Edit: That squeeky clean feeling did lead to dryness and I don't use this product anymore. I docked the rating from a 4 to a 3 and I don't plan on repurchasing
on 12/20/2009 12:05:00 PM
Age: 18 & Under
Skin: Acne-prone, Medium, Neutral
Hair: Brunette, Wavy, Coarse
Eyes: Blue
I really wanted to like this product, and I'm going to continue testing it for another week to make sure that it's just not working for me. So when I first started using it the first thing I noticed was the smell, which I personally don't like. It just disgusts me. Next was the texture which seemed fine and felt smooth on my skin. After using it and waking up in the morning i noticed a ton of pimples on my face, which i wasnt sure if it was from partial stress or my monthly gift being around the corner, so i continued to use it for about two weeks, but my skin was still terrible looking. I'm not sure if it's just my skin purging all the dirt within my skin or if it's this product. I'll continue with this for a week and then come up with my final decision on whether this is helping or just making my skin worst.
Edit: Just didn't work for my skin. Hated this!
on 12/14/2009 12:35:00 AM
Age: 19-24
Skin: Combination, Tan, Not Sure
Hair: Black, Other, Other
Eyes: Brown
I love love love love this product. I starting using this in the Spring and I'm almost on my third bar. Like a lot of people I started breakout in jr. high. By high school my skin got much better and the breakouts nearly stopped. Unfortunately since starting university I started breaking out again. I'm sure it was a combination of stress, diet and generally just neglecting my skin. I decided to try this product when I heard about it from Allthatglitters21 on youtube and I'm so glad I did. My skin has been so great since starting the Acne line from the company. My skin always feels squeaky clean after using it and surprising I don't seem to get an overproduction of oil (this might be because I also starting using a dead sea salt mask and exfoliator from the same company and this might be combating any oiliness)
Unlike most people I actually like the scent of the bar! It seems very herbal and organic.
I would recommend this to anyone and will most definitely continue to repurchase.
on 12/7/2009 12:09:00 AM
Age: 19-24
Skin: Combination, Fair-Medium, Not Sure
Hair: Brown, Other, Other
Eyes: Brown
OMG this product I really don't like. I wanted to like it so much after hearing all the reviews, and after Blair from youtube juicystar07 uses it. I bought it and I tried it out, and sadly I wasn't thinking the bar was breaking me out, but as days went by I was crazy breaking out. It was horrible. This bar also makes me so oily. I don't know why!
The only good thing, that it does really clean your face squeaky clean. Other than that, its a product that you got to try. Because on some people it cleared up there acne, but some it just didn't work ! Im so sad it doesnt work, but the Acne gel work as a body wash for me. Cleared alot of my chest acne. Very minor though.
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Three brothers die after being shot in Menomonie
A shooting in western Wisconsin leaves three brothers dead and two other people critically injured.
Menomonie police report gunfire broke out at a mobile home park Saturday night. Siong, Toua and Seng Kong were all dead at the scene.
Police say their suspect was shot, too.
They think Geu Tou Vang of St. Paul, Minn., opened fire on the four victims, then shot himself. His survived and is in an area hospital.


text:
|From: Shriram Krishnamurthi (sk at cs.brown.edu)
Date: Mon Mar 16 16:36:39 EDT 2009
Guess. Three guesses. On Mar 16, 2009 4:30 PM, "Grant Rettke" <grettke at acm.org> wrote: On Mon, Mar 16, 2009 at 3:15 PM, Henk Boom <henk at henk.ca> wrote: > This sounds silly, but I see fell... What benefits do they find there versus other approaches? _________________________________________________ For list-related administrative tasks: http://... -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: <http://lists.racket-lang.org/users/archive/attachments/20090316/f199324f/attachment.html>
|Posted on the users mailing list.


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Australian Duo The Falls Sign with Verve Records
Universal Music Group's Verve Records announced the signing of Australian duo The Falls today. The group plans to release their debut EP Into the Fire on February 18, with the title track available to stream and download below. Verve Records' Chairman David Foster said in a statement, "Their perfect blend of harmonies and heartfelt songs represent the very best kind of contemporary folk-based music. I couldn't be happier to welcome them to the Verve Music Family."
Melinda Kirwin and Simon Rudston Brown (The Falls) have been making waves in their home country of Australia, notching tours with the likes of The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men and many more. Now, the one time couple will hit the road with Delta Rae following their performance at Sundance Film Festival for a string of dates that will cover the East Coast and will also include a date at the SXSW festival. Check out a full list of dates below and stay tuned for more.
Verve Records, who boasts a lineup that includes Andrea Bocelli and Smokey Robinson, among others, is excited to have The Falls joining the family. Verve GM Robert Smith said, "The Falls join our label's long standing tradition of artists who speak from the heart and standout from the crowd. It's individual, distinctive and worldly."
"Into the Fire"
The Falls 2014 Tour Dates:
February 15 Washington, DC--9:30 Club*
February 20 Charlottesville, VA--Jefferson Theater*
February 21 Philadelphia, PA--World Cafe Live*
February 25 New York, NY--Bowery Ballroom*
February 27 Ridgefield, CT--Ridgefield Playhouse*
February 28 Portland, ME--Port City Music Hall*
March 1 Boston, MA--Royale*
March 6 Carrboro, NC--Cat's Cradle*
March 7 Raleigh, NC--Lincoln Theater*
March 10 Austin, TX--Rocnation Party
March 21 Denver, CO--Bluebird Theater*
*w/Delta Rae


text:
How Does Introversion Affect Your Sexuality?
Do you need a deep emotional or mental connection in order to be sexually attracted to someone? If so, you may be a demisexual. New word for you? Me too, until I read, Are You a Demisexual? on Lonerwolf's website. I encourage you to check out Lonerwolf. The writing is evocative and validating for loners, introverts, introspectives and those with the courage to be on the outside. Anyway, back to demisexual. According to the post, a demisexual experiences no primary sexual attraction based on appearance, style or personality but may experience a secondary attraction based on a deep degree of connection.
According to a study done by Durex (a condom manufacturer), 96% of people say they need emotional connection for the best sex. Demisexuals need mental intimacy for any sex to occur.
I am not a demisexual because I can be sexually attracted to someone based on appearance or personality but… the part about needing a deep emotional or mental connection resonated with me. To be clear, when I say deep emotional connection I don't mean you spent an hour talking about mutual friends or the TV shows you love . I mean you could talk forever because you feel a soul companionship based on the way the other person looks at the world. You drink each other in sips because the emotional intimacy is so poignant, right and effortless that you want to savor it.
Do most introverts require such emotional intimacy for sexual satisfaction? We are averse to small talk. Are we averse to casual sex? Do we desire meaningful in all realms of connection?
Studies show that extroverts have more sex with more partners than introverts. Extroverts are bigger risk takers and generally hang out in bigger social circles so this information comes as no surprise.
Introverts spend a lot of time managing or conserving their energy. Meaningful conversations and spiritual intimacy are energy generating for introverts.
Do introspectives require a deep bond in order to counter-balance the expenditure of sexual energy?
How has your temperament affected your choice of partners?
Do you prefer a partner with a similar or different temperament to your own?
Are you quiet in bed or expressive?
Does having a rich inner world make sex more pleasurable? The brain is the largest sex organ. Do introverts have a fantasy advantage?
Is a lot of stimulation too much to handle for an introvert?
As you can see, this post consists of many questions. I am infinitely curious about the way temperament affects sexuality. I would love to hear honest responses from you. I understand sex is a sensitive and private subject for many so feel free to reply discreetly via the email@example.com email address or anonymously via the comment section below. I promise to share (retaining everyone's anonymity) what I learn about the introversion/sexuality crossover. Thank you in advance for your candid replies.
*I consider sex and sensuality beautiful and natural. In its highest form, sexuality can be enlightening. I believe physical touch and connection should be honored and honorable. Please keep your responses in the same vein.
Related articles
- How Does Introversion Affect Your Sexuality?:The Results from the Quickie Survey
- Are You a Demisexual? (Lonerwolf.com)
- Survey: 96 Percent Say Best Sex If Emotionally Connected (personalliberty.com)
- Introvert Relationships: Love Me or Leave Me but Please Don't Need Me (Too Much) (space2live)
- It's Never Too Late to Experience Mind Blowing Passion (space2live)
- 3 Elements of Exquisite Sex and Divine Writing (elephantjournal.com and space2live)
Leave a Reply
64 Comments
Ann NonymousMarch 25, 2016
What a wonderful website; I am so glad that I discovered it today, and this article, in particular. Thank you, Brenda, for opening up this discussion, and for all of the courageous posters who have shared their own experiences, which inspired me to share mine.
I'm a 53 y/o HSP INFJ female, and I've done a lot of personal growth work and therapy over the years. Your article mentioned demisexuality, which I was not familiar with, either, until I did further research, and while I do not feel I can apply this particular label to myself (as I can definitely feel sexual attraction to others without having any emotional connection to them, I just never even come close to acting on it), it brought up a different but related issue for me, in that I found myself unwilling to continue engaging in sexual relations when the emotional connection in my relationship ultimately proved insufficient for my needs.
I have been in a long-term committed relationship with my (ISTJ) husband for the past quarter of a century (married for 20 of those years now), and over 8 years ago, (following long months of some very good couples' counseling with a highly intuitive therapist) I finally arrived at the decision that I was still very dissatisfied with our sex life, despite my husband's coached efforts to connect with me emotionally, and so did not wish to continue being sexual with him. (My issues were mainly about feeling sexually 'used' by him when he happened to have a few spare minutes between projects coincide with an infrequent sexual urge, and my frustration that he was capable of spending 8 hours chatting with his buddies about what I consider shallow, materialistic things, but wouldn't spend 8 minutes listening to me talk about issues that are meaningful to me (or giving me anywhere near the kind of validation and support that I provide him when he shares his thoughts or, more rarely, his feelings).
Obviously, an utter lack of sex is (understandably) usually a deal-breaker in a relationship, particularly for a man, so I certainly expected him to want a divorce, but my husband (who has always had what I would consider a fairly low sex drive anyway) said that he loved me no matter what, and had no intention of ending our marriage (unless I were to want to have a relationship with someone else, which I did not (and still do not). When I said I would understand it if he wanted to get his sexual needs met by someone else, he looked at me as if that was utterly insane, and said he would never do that (which I think is actually true for him).
I understand that this is a highly unusual situation, and one that most people would understandably find intolerable. It would be relatively easy for others to judge me as a withholding ice queen, but the truth is that, while I do love my husband, I just wasn't able to continue going along with what for me was a very unhappy sexual status quo when my heart wasn't in it. I have had a very happy sex life for years now (with myself – Woody Allen was right about masturbation being "Sex with someone you love" :), and I no longer resent my husband for being unable to meet my emotional needs – I accept that we each have very different ways of perceiving and being in the world, and I appreciate the ways in which he is good for me (including understanding my massive needs for solitude, freedom and quiet, not to mention his continued love for me despite a nonexistent sexual connection).
Brenda KnowlesMarch 26, 2016
Wow Ann A. thanks for sharing so candidly. I have to say I can relate to your lack of interest in sex without connection. I actually think I am an INFJ as well, although I've spent years thinking I'm an INFP. I 'get' the feeling of being used. Sometimes I've cried after having sex when there was no emotional connection. It does not feel right or genuine to me, like I'm faking it and there is no real love sharing, just physical sensations. I also know what it is like to long for someone to listen to your ideas or discuss topics that light you up. It's like being continuously disappointed. I definitely do not judge you. It sounds like you and your husband have an acceptance with your relationship's dynamics. He is a guardian type. Very loyal and conventional. I hope you have a good circle of intuitive feeler friends. I loved the Woody Allen quote! I laughed out loud.:) Thank you again for your insightful comment.
Ann NonymousMarch 26, 2016
Thank you so much for your kind and highly validating response, Brenda; I very much appreciated your thoughtfulness in taking the time to share it.
And regarding your recent growing self-identification with INFJ, I would say that judging solely by the various posts of yours that I've read so far, and the strength with which I resonate with what you so eloquently communicate, your expression definitely feels more INFJ to me than INFP. It also occurs to me that the additional 'flavor' added by being an HSP (a trait with which I also identify) substantially heightens the subjective emotional tone, so I wonder if perhaps a highly sensitive INFJ might potentially be more prone to identify as an INFP. Just a thought.
Brenda KnowlesMarch 28, 2016
That's an interesting point about an HSP being likely to identify as an INFP vs. an INFJ. Could be. I really go back and forth trying to figure out which is a better fit. They both fit rather well.;)
Just know I hear and understand you. You're not alone in your thoughts and feelings.
AngelMarch 14, 2016
I am in a loving relationship with an incredible man. He is very much the classic introvert while I am one who sways from a medium extrovert to a mild introvert. He has a strong male persona, yet when by ourselves, is funny and silly and can be quite talkative. Emotional he is not. If I bring up a problem, he will openly discuss it, which is helpful, but he is not one to talk about feelings without my starting the conversation. And even then, he is painfully accommodating me. He is not lovey-dovey or too obviously sweet,and you will wait a long while to hear a compliment from him, but if you pay attention, he is a very sweet boyfriend. He does things like holding hands and he will wrap us up together in the blanket while we watch tv, he cooks for us, and he will stop you in the hallway and kiss you like you have always wanted to be kissed. He is a very passionate man. And, I learned early, that since he is not openly expressive with his feelings, that it's not only his communication with words that I have to pay attention to, but it is more what he is saying in the bedroom. This is where he communicates. This is where he is telling me how he feels. He may not talk much, but what he says with his passionate kisses and making love would fill volumes. Yes, I have to pay attention to him and "read" him and be cognizant of his need of alone time. But, honestly, it is nice to date a person who recognizes and verbalizes his needs upfront and, at the same time, values and respects my needs.
Brenda KnowlesMarch 17, 2016
Well said Angel. It's so mature of you to realize how your man communicates. Yes, physical affection can be a powerful mode of expression. Is he an INTP or an ISTP? Those types are generally not too emotional or verbally affectionate. Enjoy your healthy and beautiful relationship. Thanks for sharing your experience.
BellaJune 15, 2015
I have fallen in love with an introverted man. It is also long distance. In the beginning our connection was amazing, he sang to my heart, he warned me of his introvert tendencies. Now I see that he is silent after sex, does not communicate often and works a lot. However, when the conversation does happen, he explains that he loves me, he thinks about me all the time and that he has long terms goals for our relationship and that he really does want to open up. As an extrovert i believe it should be easy for him but Im aware that its not I just want to help him in hidden ways because he also has a big ego.
Brenda KnowlesJune 16, 2015
Are you content with the relationship as it is? He may learn to open up more but he may never be a free flowing fountain of verbal/emotional warmth. You have to trust your instincts as to the potential for connection with this man.
I would continue to let him know you are there for him but also make sure he sees that you can be OK on your own. You are not waiting around for his attention. Do you have passions or deep interests of your own? Let him know you are OK with time apart (if you truly are). If his ego needs stroking, make him aware of what you love about him. Make him feel like he is more than enough man for you. He is what you want. He will have to trust you implicitly if he is to open up. Hope this helps.:)
MandyMarch 7, 2015
Where do I even start to find out what his intimacy needs are or how to get to them?
I have lived in a relationship with no kisses or hugs. Just coldness and eggshells. I am not trapped, my INTP does take good care of me in the department of things and possessions.
I am an ESFJ and I usually feel like a failure when he has spent most of his intimate time in front of the mirror and he thinks I am asleep. It makes me furious.
Brenda KnowlesMarch 8, 2015
I would suggest starting with fortifying your own integrity. Know yourself and your own needs. Then as a whole, mature being approach him with a discussion about what you would like out of the relationship intimacy-wise. You both are in the relationship. INTPs are going to be less endearing and warm. It is how they are wired but they do have emotions. Please read a comment from reader, daemonzeiro, on my post titled, Introvert Relationships:Love Me or Leave Me but Please Don't Need Me (Too Much). She is female INTP but explains their nature very well. She says they just need practice in order to open up emotionally. ESFJs are are generally so warm and people oriented. You are not a failure. You are simply in a relationship with someone who is wired differently. Check out the book, Passionate Marriage. It has a lot of good counsel about intimacy in a relationship. Best of luck. Remember your nature should be honored as well.
a1an4January 12, 2015
This is exactly how I feel.
Disappointed when I've learned later in relationships (after the thrill and passion wears off perhaps, that I'm the only one. And sadly explaining what this is to someone who doesn't get it, need it or want it is futile. I've had a number of relationships end shortly after this.
I'm obviously missing something when it comes to selecting the ideal partner.
Brenda KnowlesJanuary 13, 2015
You are the only one? I am an INFP too. Could you tell me more about your experiences? Are you speaking about needing and wanting emotional intimacy in order to move forward sexually? I'm interested in your response and experiences.
DianeMarch 2, 2015
I am the extrovert and my boyfriend I am now finding out is an introvert.About 5 months ago he told me that he didn't feel close enough to me to have sex anymore.(we have been together 2 years). I have been heart broken ever since. Thinking that he just doesn't find me attractive anymore. I have zero self-esteem now and a good amount of my hair has fallen out from stress. Now that he sent me this link I am starting to understand But I still don't even know where to begin. Or if I want to be with someone that I have to walk on egg shells around just to make sure he feels secure at all times just to be able to make love with him that night. I'm very confused. Can you help?? Or send this message to someone who can help…PLEASE???
I'm 33 Yrs old, From, Pennsylvania. Thank You
Brenda KnowlesMarch 2, 2015
Your boyfriend may be demisexual. He may require deep intimacy in order to have sex. In which case, your level of attractiveness has little to do with your appearance and more to do with your level of connectedness with him. What changed in your relationship after five months? Do you feel emotionally intimate with him? What makes him feel close to you? Talking? Sharing meaningful experiences?
You mentioned making sure he feels secure. Is his ego threatened in some way? If you have to walk on eggshells that is not a healthy relationship. Ideally, we feel loved and secure with our loved ones.
Speaking from my own experience, if sex becomes completely recreational (all fun and orgasm focused) and there is not enough sensual, spiritual connection, then I lose interest. It almost becomes exercise or fitness (which is good for you and feels good, but isn't intimate).That is not to say that every sexual encounter has to be emotionally moving, sometimes down and dirty is exciting ;), but there should be a desire to be with your partner, not just get a physical release.
I suggest you take care of yourself. Do what you love outside of your relationship and see if his attraction or desire for you increases again. He may find you too needy or too distant. I can't tell from what you said in your comment. The important thing is you maintain your own integrity and don't let his words/actions define who you are. Self-direct. Perhaps you are not meant to be with him. If not, you will survive and move on to a healthier relationship, if you want. If you are meant to be with him, your vulnerability right now could allow him to feel closer to you. Please don't tie your happiness to his needs.You are responsible for your own happiness. I am sending you peace and strength. Hold your head up and focus on being the best you. If that does not work for him then you know your relationship is not sustainable. Thank you for sharing so candidly.
VernonSeptember 28, 2014
I love everything about a women and feel that I can make a deep connection with any women for that moment if they are open for connecting. For it to last beyond a moment there has to be complete surrender. I can't surrender without trust. I love the thought of being one where souls merge . The sad thing is when trust is betrayed the thing I love the most is broken, the oneness and I recede into me and can't come out . It is very difficult too explain that to someone that's not connected inwardly. It's so difficult to forgive if a person don't understand how important trust is and how precious oneness is. If it's not understood it's a waste of time to try to build that broken bridge. So its so easy to get into the moments of connections the smells ,smiles, the touch of skin which, for a moment is satisfying and yet empty so why even bother. So I guess when it's all said and done for me it's better to be with someone who understands this unless you're a glutton for pain. I can be alone by myself but to be alone with someone that's lonely is unbearable to feel the pain and to know you can't fix it. To love or not to love that is the question. I want want to merge ,immerse into , if incan't I have myself and my God, thank goodness for God. As I travel towards the final frontier for me it is the other side of inner space, the other side of me I think it's better to be alone. It is so unnatural. Too sum it up it's easy to have sex but it can be a waste of time and energy when it's casual. Believe it or not traveling in inner space takes time and energy. Thanks for letting me rant very seldom do I get a chance to rant about nothing and yet everything
Brenda KnowlesSeptember 28, 2014
Your words are so beautifully said. Thank you for sharing how you feel. I understand and feel everything you said. It is not worth it to me to have casual sex. It scratches the itch for brief time but then feels so empty later. The oneness is missing. The caring and trust is missing also. I think once you've experienced oneness, complete trust and surrender it is very difficult to be satisfied with sensation only sex. I am always looking for that safe space to love completely and surrender without worry. To be used for physical pleasure only is lonely to me. I'd rather be alone than be in a shallow relationship.
Thank you again for your beautiful words. It's a kind of relief to hear someone else echo your feelings. I hope you have someone heavenly in your life to share such lovely ideals.
Sensation Seeking Badass: The Sexy Side of Being a Sensitive Introvert | space2liveAugust 1, 2014
[…] How Does Introversion Affect Your Sexuality? […]
jimJuly 11, 2014
Fantastic article, I'm an introvert. My personality was tested when I got out of the army and I tested as an INTP. Which is ; introverted, intuitive, thinking, perceptive. Recently I have begun to question many things that happen in my brain, particularly in the realm of sexuality. I was starting to question whether I was sexual at all. I have never chased women, and walking on the street, I take only a passing interest in their looks. Upon thinking about having a conversation with them, I quickly lose interest. This occurs not only on the street but in very short relationships. Having sex usually leaves me feeling more empty than before, however, certain things, almost meaningless things, done with someone who is only my friend, have had such an emotional impact that I feel I couldn't live without this person. She is not physically the type of woman who has quickly caught my eye in the past, however, she is everything to me. At 37 years old I have had only 12 relationships. Which are made up of 1 one night stand, 1 frienefit, 2 relationships lasting 2 years, the rest are relationships lasting under 2 months in duration, only 2 of those were emotionally satisfying and of those 2, only 1 was a two year relationship. I find myself to be very picky when it comes to partners. I feel that kissing a woman is more important than sex, and rubbing a woman's feet while watching a movie on the couch is more gratifying. I think this only scratches the surface of the subject in question. It's a very rich subject.
Brenda KnowlesJuly 14, 2014
I read your comment two days ago, got distracted and then thought I responded. Sorry for my delayed response. Hmmmm. I had several readers send me private messages stating that they don't even kiss unless they feel deeply connected to someone. Kissing can be more intimate than sex in my opinion. I also had another reader say they felt so empty and bad after sleeping with someone they didn't care about that they had to sleep on the floor next to the bed that night. They couldn't stay in the bed with the sexual partner. Too intimate perhaps.
Interesting that activities not typically considered intimate give you a feeling of deep connection.
You have no interest in talking to women and making an emotional connection? How do you feel about emotional intimacy? Do you want a relationship?
It's good to be selective. According to my Myers Briggs books, INTPs approach all issues intellectually and are very private even within relationships. INTPs are not known to use a lot of terms of endearment either.
You provided some interesting information. You are very self-aware. I think your type is likely to feel connected to someone if that person likes and does the same activities that you do. Doing such activities together is bonding.
Best of luck in your search for self-knowledge and the elusive emotionally satisfying relationship.
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DavidMarch 3, 2014
Hey. Quite a stimulating article. I consider myself an introvert but i have some extrovert tendencies (on a scale I would say I place at 65% intro 35% extra… I've worked sales positions with great success, I can win over a crowd "comedian style" if you met me socially you would never know… it's all about how an individual balances and recharges. I'm with an extrovert right now and I'll be honest, it's difficult to bridge the gap sometimes. She has done the whole casual sex thing/online dating and is perfectly fine hooking up with someone with little emotional connection. (at least at the beginning she can believe it) Personally, I like having a partner who I can share myself completely but I am ALWAYS looking to experience a contrary philosophy and learn from it… my goal is to challenge my beliefs with the most polar opposite opinions, I believe that's the best way to grow. I am a guy and sometimes she gives me shit for being to soft and emotional, but at the same time we can see that no matter how extroverted the individual, eventually there is that base craving for emotional intimacy. I think it comes down to a person's defense mechanisms. correct me if I'm wrong, but most extroverts want to be understood on a personal, dyadic level, a depth which is unattainable by large group interaction, it's an intrinsic human desire. Where is there companionship if it is fueled by shared social gratification in a large group setting? EVERYONE wants to be understood… it's just a timing thing, an ability to open up in a genuine and honest matter. Obviously NO-ONE should work too hard to make a relationship "work" by taking a disproportionate load of emotional investment but there is much to be learned from appreciating personal differences and the unique way they complement each others' needs in a partnership. Honestly, I would get bored with another introvert.
Brenda KnowlesMarch 4, 2014
I love your refreshing perspective! I agree we all want to connect intimately (emotionally) at some point. The timing may be different but good communicators can work that out. I've been in serious relationships with both introverts and extroverts. They both were able to get to the deep emotional vulnerability. The difference I found regarding level of depth and ease of entering emotional availability had more to do with whether or not the person was a thinker or a feeler, task oriented or people oriented, objective or subjective, by nature. The feelers (people people) eased into emotional intimacy more quickly and with greater depth. Most introverts prefer depth to breadth when it comes to topics of interest. If they are interested in relationships/people they can go very deep quickly. I dated a very compassionate extrovert. Once I gave him a safe space to open up, he was all over every kind of intimacy. I was married to a task focused extrovert who didn't get vulnerable or emotionally available until we were going through a traumatic divorce together. But he did become more available.
My two cents. Thank you for your thoughtful response. Made me think. I guess I am always looking for new perspectives as well.:)
Sydney WomanMay 15, 2014
I'm confused. My husband is an introvert and has no depth to him or emotional intimacy (we drifted into a relationship when I was 16 years old a couple of decades ago).
I fell in love with this blog because of the constant chatter about emotional intimacy and deep conversations and yet I'm the worlds biggest extrovert and I feel like I'm starving to find people who want to connect deeply.
I'm surprised to learn introverts are such deep thinkers. I just thought they were quiet people (with very little going on upstairs). I wish I knew this earlier and I would have made friends with more introverts. I really thought they were dull simple uncreative people just happy to be entertained by TV and other people entertaining them. Are you telling me that introverts are deep thinkers and desire emotional intimacy or is that just how you are?
Also now that I know what I know, whats the best way to approach an introvert?
Brenda KnowlesMay 16, 2014
I would say that yes, most introverts are deep thinkers. We love dwelling in our inner-world. We get energy from going within. Too much stimulation on the outside will send us in search of solitude and reflective time. We very often love one on one meaningful conversations.
I am still researching myself whether emotional intimacy is imperative to most introverts. I know there are outliers who don't need deep connection at all. I think whether a person is a thinker or a feeler also has a lot to do with how much intimacy they need. Thinkers are more task oriented and focus on logic and problem solving. Feelers seek harmony and consider their own values as well as those of others in their circles.
I would approach an introvert with soft easy questions. Draw them out. Don't expect to get to know them in a big group setting. Pull them aside for meaningful communication. Small talk will bore them after a while.
It's true we are observers and do tend to like watching movies and reading books but we also enjoy talking about the movies and books with others. Thanks for the excellent questions. Hope I helped a little. 🙂
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KristinaJanuary 5, 2014
Thank you for this post! In a world of extroverts, it's comforting to read about others' experiences and feelings that mirror your own.
As an 18 year old female, I've been gradually coming to terms with the fact that I need that deep emotional or mental connection to feel comfortable in any sort of act of physical intimacy (including kissing.) It feels so… alien to me otherwise.
However, a significant problem arises when you discover yourself to also be an extremely sexual person (as I am and have always been).
The situation that follows is a kind of inner war zone; the need for sexual intimacy is truly overwhelming and tears at you constantly, but it is absolutely imperative that the person you are sexually intimate with is one who you are also emotionally and mentally connected to.
And until you find such a person (who comes along once every lifetime), you're left sexless. Sexless and frustrated. It's akin to what an elastic band feels when it's being pulled in opposite directions.
Brenda KnowlesJanuary 5, 2014
Kudos to you for being so self-aware at 18 years old. The fact that you are deeply open to emotional and mental connection will help it find you. Be choosy. Relationships will promote your growth and help you evolve into the best human you can be. Only the truly significant individuals (the ones that light you up and revel in your expansion) are worthy of your love. Only share your body with those who respect you. You are young. You will learn who is mature and who is not – the hard way.
I understand being a sexual being. I am too. I've learned a lot of me (my heart) goes into making love with someone. It needs to be a mature, loving relationship or I am left feeling horribly empty afterwards. Sexless feels better than empty, trust me. Only invest with your body if your heart feels safe. Just my 'old lady' advice.;)
Thank you for sharing your story.
Jenifer BeaumontOctober 24, 2014
I have discovered I am an introvert – only partly like the reader above: I both think deeply and need trustful connection to be satiated in every way including to have really have good sex. I share amazing tantric level, spiritual connections when I feel loved and sexually committed to until my lover panics at my withdrawal and leaves me feeling unaccepted and likely to be rejected. At these times I become distraught and focus on a project…….then I feel renewed and able to provide all my gifts once again in a manner them leaves them feeling enticed, desperate, enchanted, needy, fulfilled and out of control: I'm the cure and the cause.
Brenda KnowlesOctober 26, 2014
I love your description of your sexuality. I believe I am very similar. I am more mindful of my withdrawals and their effect on my significant others. It's all a dance and a learning experience. Thank you for sharing your beautiful description of the dance.:)
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HeatherOctober 26, 2013
re the kissing thing… do we think introverts feel kissing is so much a letting go of themselves and who they are, that insider, that they hold back on it and in fact often don't kiss much in the early part of a relationship?
Brenda KnowlesOctober 26, 2013
A few of my readers did mention difficulty with kissing -seeing it as extremely intimate therefore requiring a deep connection before it occurred. Personally, I'm a big fan of kissing. I have to like and be attracted to someone to kiss them but I don't have a guard up about it like I do with sex.
Good question.:) Thanks.
LisaOctober 24, 2013
Hi, Thank you for writing this article, I am an extrovert, and my boyfriend who lives with me is an introvert, and truthfully he is not affectionate with me at all most days,.. although he was in the very beginning. It is really hard for me to understand him, he is quiet and stays up hours after I go to bed. This makes me feel he doesn't like me, but tells me he loves me. I guess after reading this I come off as needy,.. but only because I think I never understood. Can any of you suggest some things I CAN DO, to please him,.. or NOT get on his nerves? I do love him,.. but I just don't know how to make him happy.
Brenda KnowlesOctober 24, 2013
Light up his mind. Is there a subject or favorite cause that you both care about deeply? Think back to the beginning. Were there nights when you stayed up late talking? What inspires him?
Let him know you understand why he needs time to himself.
Be independent and interesting yourself. Don't wait around for him to do everything with you. Go out, follow your bliss/energy. He'll miss you (or at least be recharged from solitude) and you'll have more engaging conversations when you re-connect.
Make him feel valued and respected. It's easy for introverts to feel inferior to extroverts because extrovert action and socializing is so prized in our culture.
Big credit to you for becoming more knowledgable about introversion and caring enough about him to ask for pointers.;) Communication is key, but keep it meaningful.
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lawliett79July 28, 2013
You have touched on a raw nerve here, lol. I have not let myself close to anyone, and have a few *possible* (yea, right) potential bgf relationships in the past..but I never let it go too far. At the best, we were good friends and constantly called or texted each other.
I MAY BE a demisexual..and erm yea, I don't quite know what 'sexually attracted' means…so I have no authority to comment on that. I admit, yes I've turned red in the face a few times a physically attractive man comes too close to me. :X Is that 'sexually attracted'? If possible, then I'm not demisexual but absolutely refuse to have anything physical going with someone I have no mental or emotional connection with (poor body image helps, too). xD
Thanks for your lovely posts.
brennageeJuly 30, 2013
You may be a demisexual. Emotional connection is key. In order to have that you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, take a risk.
You could be extremely shy too. I hope you find a shining star individual who may also be shy and/or demi-sexual. Not because you need someone to complete you but because you need someone to give you permission to be you. Perhaps even a celebrity could be a role model. Let yourself blossom.
throwawayAccountJuly 19, 2013
First off, I'm quite the introvert – I don't know how to shake hands, and I hate hugs and small-talk.
After sex with a person I have no emotional attachment to, I often feel the need to be alone. Just the other day I girl I had sex for the first time with asked for a cuddle afterwards (after a whole string of needy behavior I managed to ignore) – I felt this deep sense of disgust wash over me, and mind you it's not shame; the neediness in her voice was just so off-putting.
I can't help but feel like an awful person, even tho I know it's due to the nature of dopamine receptors introverts like I have – they are too sensitive, and the intense nature of sex can over-flood them, giving you a massive "down" afterwards.
That night I slept on the floor, anything else would have resulted in a massive anxiety attack.
I felt the need to share this, because sometimes, it really "isn't you – it's me."
Girls, if you are attracted to an introvert handle them with care, look at them as cats – you never go to a cat to pet it, you have to wait for it to come to you.
Once you cross that barrier it gets much better – before that, we're a bunch of needy little brats.
Sigh, I miss meaningful sex.
Sorry for sounding like a complete whinge but I HAD to vent somewhere.
brennageeJuly 20, 2013
Wow, so much to consider here… I am not a sexpert so I am just going to speak from my own experience and what I have heard from other readers. I have cried after sex when I felt no emotional attachment to my partner. It just felt so false and against my nature. It's hard for me to have sex without an emotional attachment first. It seems like you don't have a problem with that. It's the scene afterwards that troubles you. I also find neediness off-putting, and feel guilty for not wanting to help/fix/satisfy someone. I believe this resistance to other's needs is a strategy to preserve our own energy. We can't take on lots of other interactions because it will drain us. Frustrating that it affects our generosity.
I like your cat analogy. I wonder if that is more accurate for male introverts. I appreciate being approached but not overwhelmed. I don't want someone in my face or with a lot of needs or dependency but I like it when it's obvious they are interested.
I have found meaningful sex wipes out all of the above issues. No crying afterwards, no resistance. May you experience the good stuff soon.:)
Thank you for your forthrightness. You are not an awful person. You obviously have a conscience. Oh the introverted nature, so faceted.
HeatherOctober 26, 2013
wow, you sound just like my bf, well how he was in the early days and how he explained he felt. I think when you find the right partner and talk lots of these issues will be things of the past. The after sex cuddle was really hard for him to even understand though he liked the feeling of intimacy the sex had given him. now he can hold onto me though I know that my need for that cuddle is not as necessary as our depth of relationship, the spirituality and understanding between us means that physical closeness is no longer the only indicator of closeness. And it was him, in his own time, who offered the cuddle! very briefly at first…
Brenda KnowlesOctober 27, 2013
Awesome! I believe there is a right partner out there. I just need to be whole myself and open to possibilities. I know what you mean about depth of relationship. That is its own form of intimacy. It has been my experience that emotional intimacy brings miraculous physical intimacy. Glad you are getting some cuddling.;)
Thanks for sharing.
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Casey SheridanJuly 10, 2013
I just stumbled upon your blog and proceeded to follow it, as well as Twitter and Facebook. I'm definitely an introvert (and I live in a dusty house with cats and classic books 🙂 ) and was so happy to find a blog about us introverts.
Your blog is great. And I love this post.
I can't say whether or not I'm a demisexual, but more than likely I'm not.
I can be sexually attracted to someone based on personality and appearance, but that's as far as it will go. I don't act on it. I definitely can't do casual sex, or the "friends with benefits" thing. I know me. I know I have to have an emotional connection to the person.
brennageeJuly 10, 2013
Welcome to introvert land! Safe place to feel at home.
It makes sense that many introverts would need a strong emotional connection before getting involved sexually. We value our own inner worlds so highly. Physical intimacy without being able to share emotions/feelings/a connection seems like something is missing – namely a big part of ourselves. Like going to a party and only finding small talk. We need that deep meaningful conversation on the corner of the couch.;)
Thank you for connecting with me. I checked out some of your work. Fascinating. It's silly hard to be a suburban mom with a fascination of sensuality, but I do it anyway.;)
chehawJune 30, 2013
I feel like I'm in the same boat as Lobster. I can sexually attracted to someone, but if there's no connection emotionally, I'll turn away. The quality of the relationship means a lot. Sometimes, though, I wonder if we introverts have standards that might be a tad bit high for our potential partners to reach. Anyway, I just discovered this blog last week, and have thoroughly enjoyed reading about your journey. Can't wait to read more. Keep living and keep writing.
brennageeJune 30, 2013
As my introvert life coach once told me, "You have beautifully high standards." So yes, I do believe we introverts have high expectations. A few months ago I was beginning to rue my high standards regarding romantic relationships. No one seemed to work. There was always a fatal flaw. My step mother gave me the go ahead to be selective/picky but also reminded me that no one is perfect. The next person I began dating ticked all my boxes. So far no fatal flaws. At first I found myself looking for potential problems (as I always do) but then I decided to relax and let the relationship play out more before I threw in the towel. Once I relaxed my partner relaxed. It became easier to be emotionally vulnerable thus creating a stronger emotional connection.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment and kind words. So truly appreciated.:)
May SJune 29, 2013
I'm not sure whether I'm demi sexual or not, but to me, nothing works without that deeper connection. If there's no connection, sex gives me absolutely nothing, and it makes me feel empty and even more dissconnected from the person, and I get depressed too.
I always used to wonder what was wrong with me, and if I was wired in the wrong way, but this post really gave me some huge aha moments 🙂
I don't fall for a persons' looks, and that's usually never why I'm attracted to someone. I am far more likely to fall for a personality, or what's in someone's heart.
And yes, most of my friend think I'm nuts and weird.
Thank you so much for all your posts, I find so many aha moments, and peace of heart and mind when reading them 🙂
brennageeJune 30, 2013
I am completely aligned with you regarding the need for a deep connection before sex. Personality, temperament, communication skills and whether or not someone is genuinely kind are my hot buttons.;) I want to love their brain and spirit first, then a physical relationship is effortless.
Thank you so much for your candid response. You are not nuts or weird, just selective. The wonderful thing is if you find someone who lights up your mind and heart, the sex is out of this world.;) Truly making love.
MadmomNovember 1, 2013
I just stumbled across this blog. To the reader above: I am right there with you. I am exactly the same. And yes, my friends think I have lost my mind when they find out who I happen to be attracted to, but I am the one who thinks they are the strange ones. They by pass many people who could make their world beautiful.
kimberlyhardingJune 29, 2013
Although not the focus of this posting- I love your line about introverts spending a lot of time managing and conserving their energy. My gosh, this is so true! I am constantly doing this. Everyone thinks it's b/c I am a Type A person who likes to be organized. That is only part of the story- I am trying to conserve my energy around people. I have just spent 12 days!!! traveling with my stepkids, husband, and his extended family! I am wiped out!!!
brennageeJune 30, 2013
Do you feel if you are more organized you can be more relaxed and spend less energy? I'll do just about anything to conserve or create more energy so I'm open to suggestions.;)
Take care of yourself post traveling. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing but often I come home way more wired. I have had a handful of rejuvenating vacations so I know they can happen. They usually involved a slow pace, solitude and sensitive or introverted companions.
kimberlyhardingJuly 1, 2013
You are absolutely correct. I am compulsively organized in an attempt to get to a point that I can relax. Great idea to take care of myself after traveling. My immediate instinct is to push to get things done. Thanks for your great post.
LunaJune 29, 2013
Wow, thanks very much for sharing the article I wrote Brenna! You ask some very thought provoking questions and it's adding more and more to my curiosity about sexual energy and the way temperament affects sexuality. Last time I checked the poll on the Demisexual article it said that most of the readers were straight, though I can't help but wonder whether sexuality evolves with age, just as personality does. For instance, I used to believe I was straight until I discovered I was more on the bisexual spectrum. That's one of the reasons why I like keeping an open mind to life, it's always evolving, sometimes gradually, sometimes in a burst of spontaneity that takes your breathe away.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this fascinating topic!
brennageeJune 30, 2013
Thank you for such a thought provoking post. I didn't comment on your site but the word and definition of demisexual stuck with me. I knew it was something I wanted to sexplore further.;)
I have become more open minded regarding sexuality as I get older. I support all orientations. I see my sexuality evolving. I express my sexuality way more than I used to and I know better what it takes to have a beautiful sexual relationship. It is vital to me to have a strong emotional connection. I almost can't bear sex without it. Which is why the demisexual article intrigued me.
Always keep your lovely open mind. Keep observing life's evolution. I know there are many things that have changed my perspective, often leading to the exact opposite reaction I would have had a few years ago.
Thanks again for the inspiration.
Doug ToftJune 28, 2013
This is the post I've been waiting for. Way to go. All I can say is: please read David Deida's "Way of the Superior Man"—a book that weds sexuality to spiritual practice. He offers answers to many of your questions and has been a guide for me.
brennageeJune 29, 2013
Yes! Deida's book is on my 'must read' list. Now I must find a copy.;) I look forward to exploring its contents. Thanks Doug.
LobsterJune 28, 2013
Very interesting post – again! And timely as I have been pondering such things myself this month. I don't believe I am demisexual as l, like you, can be sexually attracted to someone based on appearance and personality however that is all it is. Attracted. I can't or won't act on that attraction unless there is a connection. Does that make me demisexual? Or is that my introversion? In my inner fantasy world of personal thoughts and ideas I have no problems acting on mutual attraction, but in the physical reality….
I usually need to have built up trust, friendship, understanding and have an actual interest in them and what they are saying before that desire can even translate to something as simple as a kiss.
Let's just say that I have passionately kissed far fewer people than some of my close friends have had sex with…
LobsterJune 28, 2013
Edit – having read Lonerwolf – definitely not demisexual.
brennageeJune 29, 2013
Oh thank you for sharing your sexuality truths! I have similar feelings. I have had a little over a year of sexploration since my divorce was final. It's been eye opening.;) I am a sexual being. I found sex without deep connection very empty and it made me feel almost depressed. In my new freedom I had to test the waters. I'm very selective now.
MeriliniJuly 19, 2013
Heh, me too – have kissed less people than some have had sex with. I consider kissing to be pretty intimate and thus not the be practiced with every hunk of meat you see.


text:
Updated Kiwis Media Schedule
Updated Kiwis Media Schedule
Cairns, Australia, October 7, 2012 – The 19-man Kiwis squad for Saturday's Test against the Kangaroos assembled in Cairns, Australia, today. Players flew in from Auckland, Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney, arriving around lunchtime.
The squad was given a tweaked traditional welcome into the city, with a local group delivering a performance outside the team Hotel that merged Maori, Cook Island, Tongan and Samoan dance elements. The challenge laid down in the performance was greatly appreciated by the players and also by a large gathering of tourists, who weren't quite sure what was happening but were relieved that Frank Pritchard and Sam Kasiano weren't agitated by proceedings.
The first afternoon in camp was a busy one with medicals, a pool session to help get over the flights, team meetings and dinner at the Hotel.
The team trains at Stan Williams Park in Cairns on Monday at the revised time of 9.45am. Players available for interview at the ground immediately post-training are Greg Eastwood, Krisnan Inu, Sam Perrett and NRL Grand Final winner Kevin Proctor.
An updated media schedule can be seen by clicking here:Kiwis Media Schedule


text:
Slow start to LORDA syrup production
LANSDOWNE – Jim Crawford holds out a cup filled with a clear liquid. It doesn't look like much – in fact it just looks like water.
PICTOU – A Westville man will serve 90 days in jail for sexually interfering with a 12-year-old girl.
Matthew John MacDonald, 19, will be allowed to serve his sentence intermittently and will be on probation for 12 months.
The charge stems from a night when MacDonald and two female friends were drinking heavily until early morning hours when they returned to one of the females' home and all three went up to her bedroom.
"Strange as it may seem to some of us, the two girls and Mr. MacDonald were in the same bed, and not for the first time. The term is cuddling," said defence attorney Hector MacIsaac.
He added MacDonald, who was highly intoxicated, got up to go to the bathroom and "wound up" in a different bedroom, in bed with a younger sister of one of the female friends. After repeated sexual touching, the frightened 12-year-old left her room and ran to her mother's.
The victim provided the court with a victim impact statement but declined to read it. Her mother told the court her younger daughter does not feel safe in her own home and her older daughter is no longer allowed to bring friends into the home. She added she knows her younger daughter will require counselling but is not yet willing.
MacDonald apologized to the court, the victim and her family, expressing his hope that the girl will recover completely.
Judge Del Atwood accepted a joint recommendation from MacIsaac and Crown prosecutor Jody McNeill for the 90-day sentence but said a substantially longer sentence could have been handed down. He acknowledged alcohol appeared to be a major factor in the offence but pointed out it is well known that alcohol impairs judgment so MacDonald knowingly took that risk. He added a positive pre-sentence report and the lack of a previous criminal record counted in MacDonald's favour.