text:
Posterior Cingulate Function in Persons With Risk Factors for Alzheimer's Disease (PC)
This study has been completed.
University of Wisconsin, Madison
VA Office of Research and Development
Information provided by (Responsible Party):
University of Wisconsin, Madison
ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier:
First received: May 22, 2007
Last updated: October 1, 2015
Last verified: April 2011
- Full Text View
- Tabular View
- No Study Results Posted
- Disclaimer
- How to Read a Study Record
No Study Results Posted on ClinicalTrials.gov for this Study
|Study Status:
|This study has been completed.
|Study Completion Date:
|October 2007
|Primary Completion Date:
|No date given


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Starbucks has launched its Starbucks Discoveries series of products with partner Pepsi to bring three flavored coffee drinks in ready to drink form to you grocer's chilled section. We thought we'd Review them and give you a snapshot of another cool summer coffee drink.
The 1.5 liter (1.49 actually) packs look different, and come with a screw cap that unleashes the Vanilla Latte, Carmel Macchiato (you need to supply your own "Macchiato"), and Caffe Mocha. The carton is notable because it's some masterpiece of packaging shape; who knew a machine could fold something like this. It's not a regular gable top carton; it's some
My world needs more coffee, and Starbucks Discoveries are a pretty good fit. The flavors are not stand-out, but the drink is a bit indulgent, and sweet, with a hint of the signature flavor at the end. Mocha has a bit of a lingering chocolate flavor, while the caramel has a bit of a salty sweet caramel flavor. Not bad, but it doesn't scream coffee…… at all. Maybe it whispers coffee at best. It doesn't hit you over the head with sweetness either, so maybe a decent balance.
Extra Shot?
I added a shot of dark roasted espresso (about 1 ounce) to the Caffe Mocha to try to jazz up the coffee flavor, but while I successfully increased the coffee I also muted the sweetness and overall mocha flavor. Taken over ice though, this was a great indulgence, that I have enjoyed a couple of times since.
These are better than the bottled variety that are shelf stable and go through a harsh packaging procedure. They are perishable, and you need to use them within 7 days of opening.
Convenience is the name of the game here, and at $1 a serving, this can add up to a pretty costly habit, since I rarely had just one glass at a time. I like them as an indulgence, but maybe not as an every morning ritual. For that I have plenty of other costly capsule-based habits that cost at least a buck a drink.
Who is this for: People who love iced coffee drinks with a splash of coffee culture
Who is this NOT for: People who need strong coffee flavor in their coffee drinks; it isn't there my friends; don't bother.
Vanilla Latte, Caffe Mocha and Caramel Macchiato
Size: 1.49 liters, or 50.7 Fl Oz
Calories per Serving: 120
Serving Size: 8 ounces
Servings per container: About 6
Cost: $5.99 at Stop & Shop, or about $1 a glass
Read More in: Espresso Coffee Reviews | Starbucks
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Check this blog to see what's new and/or updated on the webiste at Shoreline Yacht Club. Recent changes include the addition of specific pages on the Bar and Galley Menu for dinner menus for Friday and Saturday nights as well as Sunday breakfast.
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Indiana's 840 RFID Tag Program
For several years, through grant monies, BOAH has been able to provide free radio frequency identification (RFID) tags to cattle producers at no charge. The supply of free tags is depleted, and BOAH can no longer offer tags at no charge.
The tags are yellow button-style, full-duplex, RFID tags, featuring a 15-digit identification number. Each begins with the U.S. designation code of "840".
Why 840 Tags?
840 RFID tags offer the latest technology in conventional identification. In addition to visual labeling of an animal, RFIDs allow for wireless scanning of tags that can be downloaded to a computer or a hand-held device.
BOAH is launching this pilot program and encouraging the adoption of 840s because these tags:
meet Michigan importation requirements;
are Country-of-Origin-Labeling (COOL)-compliant;
assist producers with accurate, electronic record keeping;
can easily integrate with current commercially available production software; and
are free, while pilot program supplies last.
Obtaining Tags
Cattle producers may still obtain 840 RFID tags, at their own expense, through one of the official providers recognized by USDA-APHIS.
A premises ID number issued by BOAH. The premises ID is necessary to link the tags to a specific location-usually the animals' point-of-origin. Once assigned to a specific premise, the tags CANNOT be transferred to another farm or operation. Those who have cattle on multiple locations should request different tags for each premise.
Under federal law, 840 tags can only be used in American-born livestock. Removal of tags is unlawful once they have been placed in an animal, because they are official U.S. government identification.
Tag options
The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) has approved several styles of RFID tags from various manufacturers for use as official 840 devices. (NOTE: Not every RFID tag is necessarily considered "official" ID for interstate movements, disease control programs or vaccination designations; nor do all carry the "840" designation.) As a USDA-approved provider, Allflex is supplying the 840 button tags for Indiana's pilot program under a contracted agreement.
Other styles, such as traditional bangle tags, or colors (including matching hang tags to accompany the pilot program buttons), may be purchased at the producer's own expense. These other tags are NOT part of the pilot program contract, and are not available through this initiative. A list of the other tag providers is available through USDA-APHIS.
Several components are needed to capture the full functionality of the 840 tag system. They include; the RFID tag, a reader, data collecting software and a computer. All of these items are available separately, at the herd owners' expense. A specific tagger (not included with the Pilot Program tags) will be needed for applying the EID tag.
An explanation and diagram explaining how and where the tags are applied can be viewed here.
While these components are needed to operate the EID tags fully, purchasing them is not required. 840s can still be used like a conventional ear tag, because each tag still shows a readable number.
Tag Placement
Official identification for cattle can come in several different forms. Indiana allows the use of RFID tags and metal ear tags. Additionally, some producers choose to add identification for their own farm's record-keeping system.


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When Ricky Wong Wai-kay, the chairman of the Hong Kong Broadband Network (HKBN), invited reporters to his home on The Peak a year ago to preview his internet telephony services, he sparked a fierce debate that rages to this day.
The issue: whether telecoms operators have the right to offer services over the broadband networks of others.
PCCW, which has a legacy fixed-line business to protect, complained furiously about HKBN using the company's Netvigator network for voice services, saying this 'free ride' would diminish investment incentives.
The dominant operator may soon find itself once again frustrated as rivals line up to offer pay-TV services that could be accessed via Netvigator, competing with its own NOW Broadband television offering.
One such service is Akimbo, which offers users a US$200 set-top box and a collection of channels such as Adult Swim, National Geographic and Cartoon Network.
But PCCW could face competition closer to home from the likes of HKBN.
When Mr Wong demonstrated internet telephony a year ago, he also showed reporters how he was able to watch his own pay-TV services using Netvigator. He was using PCCW because HKBN's broadband network did not reach The Peak.
HKBN has not yet decided whether to offer pay-television services to Netvigator customers, but last week Mr Wong said he might consider doing so if PCCW could offer download speeds of at least 10 megabits per second.
Mr Wong's interview for Ben Kwok's 14 Minutes with Lai See programme will be available on www.scmp.com [1] later today.
PCCW plans to ramp up its Netvigator service to 8Mbps later this year and 25Mbps eventually as it prepares to further enhance its NOW offering with high-definition and interactive content. NOW has so far attracted more than 400,000 subscribers.
The upgrades could attract 'free riders', and a repeat of the internet telephony debate might be in the offing.
On one side will be companies like PCCW and Hutchison Global Communications, which is carrying the recently launched SuperSun pay-TV services from TVB's Galaxy Satellite Broadcasting; on the other will be firms like Akimbo, which is based in the United States, and HKBN, should it decide to take pay-TV to a wider audience. While Akimbo is unlikely to get PCCW's goat, Mr Wong's entry probably would.
How this plays out is yet to be seen, but consumers should hope it follows the path of the internet telephony debate.
The telecoms regulator ruled that consumers have already paid for their Netvigator connection.
As such, they do not have to pay again when subscribing to HKBN's voice services over PCCW's network.


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Orange is a hard word to rhyme, almost as hard to rhyme as "anti-inflammatory". Combine those two properties and you have turmeric, one of the best orange things on the planet with the potential to do all kinds of things like reduce inflammation and speed healing. And then, there's THIS turmeric, this highly potent organic powder of bright umber-orange from Pure Indian Foods — the best turmeric out there, bar none. You'll use it for tea, you'll use it for curry and eggs and soups and golden milk and smoothies and pretty much everything else. Get your curcumin and color all at once.
Did you just have the thought that maybe the word CURry has some kind of connection to the word CURcurmin? I just did and that blew my mind. What better way to illustrate that many foods and nutrients are meant to go together, or have the same origins story. In truth, the words might only have a coincidental connection, as the word curry was supposed to have come from some British misproununciation of an Indian stew. Or so the story goes. But curry powder, the spice blend that is made in dozens or hundreds of different combinations, often uses the orange turmeric powder as one of its key components. It mellows out the sweet cinnamon and coriander and adds bitterness against the smoky cumin and pepper.
But what about THIS turmeric? Open the jar and you'll know. A smell will give you the potent aroma of the herb. There's almost a smokiness, but earthy is a good way to describe it, too. The plant is a rhizome, related to ginger and horseradish, with mild spice when fresh. You may have seen it at the store - it looks like slightly smaller and weirdly colored ginger root. When powdered, it's a whole different animal, with the benefits of curcumin to boot.
Pure Indian Food's organic turmeric is something special, and that's the reason you'll see it here alongside our other favorite Pure Indian Foods product — their fantastic ghee. Sandeep Agarwal, Founder of Pure Indian Foods, worked hard to find a grower in the mountains of India with the BEST turmeric on earth. It's higher in curcumin, more potent in flavor, and even has a deeper orange color than other turmerics. It is really something amazing.
About that ghee? The ghee and turmeric go spendidly together. For your first taste of this turmeric powder, warm up some ghee in a pan, and add a sprinkle of turmeric, letting it gently cook and release an aroma that's potent and lovely. Then, crack a bunch of eggs into the pan, add more spices and salt and scramble away. It's one of my favorite ways to enjoy this spice, but there are many more ways to get creative (see the ideas below).
Here's Sandeep Agarwal, harvesting fresh turmeric root. What a sweet video!
Pure Indian Foods Organic Turmeric Powder is 100% ground turmeric root. No GMOs, no added salt, no preservatives, no trans fats, no colors or dyes, no MSG, no flavor enhancers. The one and only ingredient is the best-quality turmeric root they could find, with absolutely nothing else added to it.
Turmeric (Curcuma longa), the bright yellow of the spice rainbow, is a powerful medicine that has long been used in the Chinese and Indian systems of medicine as an anti-inflammatory agent to treat a wide variety of conditions, including flatulence, jaundice, menstrual difficulties, bloody urine, hemorrhage, toothache, bruises, chest pain, and colic.
The volatile oil fraction of turmeric has demonstrated significant anti-inflammatory activity in a variety of experimental models. Even more potent than its volatile oil is the yellow or orange pigment of turmeric, which is called curcumin. Curcumin is thought to be the primary pharmacological agent in turmeric. In numerous studies, curcumin's anti-inflammatory effects have been shown to be comparable to the potent drugs hydrocortisone and phenylbutazone as well as over-the-counter anti-inflammatory agents such as Motrin. Unlike the drugs, which are associated with significant toxic effects (ulcer formation, decreased white blood cell count, intestinal bleeding), curcumin produces no toxicity.
In 1889, Lala Khoobram Agarwal, our great-great-grandfather, launched a pure ghee business in northern India. After 5 generations and over 124 years, we are still learning!
Pure Indian Foods was founded in 2008 and we are the top maker of Grassfed Organic Ghee products in the United States. We have been featured in The New York Times and many other international publications. It's our dedication to excellent customer service and our selection of the highest quality organic Indian grocery that keeps our customers cooking with our products again and again.
Our Approach to Customer Service
"A customer is the most important visitor on our premises. He is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. He is not an interruption in our work - he is the purpose of it. We are not doing him a favor by serving him. He is doing us a favor by giving us the opportunity to serve him."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Non-GMO, No Additives, No Preservatives, No Fillers.
Turmeric Curcumin Combination - premium quality turmeric that's naturally rich in curcumin (minimum 4-5%).
Turmeric is one of the key components of curry powder, lending a deep hue as well as a bit of bite and nutty flavor. But without the curry powder, how should "plain" turmeric be used? There are lots of ways, some unconventional and some straighforward.
Check it out:
Categories: Herbs & Spices Primal Kitchen Essentials Smoothie Essentials Superfoods Whole 30 Whole30


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Morning Briefing
Today is International Women's Day [1]
Editorial: Celebrate South Korea on International Women's Day [2] As the first nation to reverse a strong preference for sons over daughters – and the sex-selective abortions that come with it – South Korea deserves praise. Other countries, such as China and India, now have hope of ending this violence against girls.
Vatican could learn a thing or two about renewal from women religious [3]
Commentary: Africa's answer to militant feminism [4]by Catherine Marshall
Obama Signs Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act [5]
Study: Women's wages are falling even further behind men's [6]
Women Finding Their Way in German Politics [7]
Excommunicated female priest detained over Vatican protest [8]
Brazilian Cardinal Odilo Scherer: Seen as a Political Centrist Candidate for Pope [9]
Vietnam cardinal arrives, last 1 in for conclave [10] Discussions were "reaching a conclusion," U.S. Cardinal Roger Mahony tweeted "Setting of date for conclave nearing. Mood of excitement prevails among Cardinals," he wrote.
[11]Looking for an a little inspiration to begin your day? NCR's sister publication, Celebration, gives you two options, both based on the Scripture readings of the day:
Pencil Preaching [11] is blog that Celebration editor Pat Marrin combines scripture and sketching to reflect on the word.
Daily Bread [12] is a series short reflections, written by four authors who meet regularly to share the readings. Daily Bread is intended to help daily preachers and others who pray from the assigned scriptures each day to orient themselves to the Living Word addressed to the church in the world. It's a great way to begin the day.


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I already hear concerns that the reformist church of 76-year-old Pope Francis might not survive his pontificate. I hear talk that the anti-reformists who took back the Second Vatican Council will likely do it again once Francis is gone from the scene.
We ask: Will a church groomed by compassion and mercy, as Francis would have it, be the church of our future? Will our church be guided, as if with a compass, by the lives and needs of marginalized people? Can a pastoral Catholicism, embedded in the Beatitudes, be the Catholicism we offer the world?
Viewed solely as a moment in church history, the Francis moment might not last. Post-Vatican II history teaches us that entrenched forces have ways of enduring. In this view, Francis could be a passing fancy. However, from the long view of history, the Francis pontificate could well be the exclamation point on Vatican II -- change and reform is the default mode of operation, not a one-time activity.
Like Pope John XXIII, who brought us the council, Francis believes the Spirit is alive in the world. Like John, he believes the Spirit is not the sole possession of the Catholic episcopacy. In this belief, Francis affirms the theology of the council and unites to it in an inseparable way, effectively giving his pontificate greater reach, both backward and forward.
Francis has a close spiritual connection to his predecessor John. Both assessed the church and found it hurting, failing to meet the needs of the times. John called a council; we have yet to see Francis' full response. But he has told us there will be surprises. When Francis talks about "surprises," these are not secrets he's holding back from us. These are deeper, more profound surprises of the Spirit still to be discerned.
The pastoral church Francis is offering us comes out of a commitment to tradition, a grounding that actually liberates him to be all the more adventurous. After all, the church is much more than revealed dogma; it is about the fullness of life and how we respond to the world in which we live. This is where the surprises will be found, though this is difficult for some to understand.
As Francis' pontificate unfolds and we encounter its surprises, it will increasingly be seen as the embodiment of Vatican II, the flesh to the bones of the council. As this connection unfolds, it will only further compel the council's and Francis' vision forward.
Perhaps the core theological question faced by the council was "How does the Spirit operate in the world?" Is the life of the Spirit revealed fundamentally, even arguably exclusively, through the Catholic church hierarchy? Or is the Spirit found throughout creation, discerned by people of goodwill everywhere?
The council fathers affirmed the latter view. So clearly does Francis. This is what he said to his Jesuit interviewer in August, as reported in America magazine: "The complaints of today about how 'barbaric' the world is -- these complaints sometimes end up giving birth within the church to desires to establish order in the sense of pure conservation, as a defense. No: God is to be encountered in the world of today. God manifests himself in historical revelation, in history. ... We must not focus on occupying the spaces where power is exercised, but rather on starting long-run historical processes."
For Francis, change is not only possible, it is required if the church is to be relevant. Yet he cautions patience. In his interview, he says, "Many think that changes and reforms can take place in a short time. I believe that we always need time to lay the foundations for real, effective change."
In the end, the Vatican II document Lumen Gentium affirmed "the people of God" as the primary definition of church; the hierarchy came in second. Francis affirms this as well, saying: "All the faithful, considered as a whole, are infallible in matters of belief ... When the dialogue among the people and the bishops and the pope goes down this road and is genuine, then it is assisted by the Holy Spirit. ... We should not even think, therefore, that 'thinking with the church' means only thinking with the hierarchy of the church."
So, again, is our church on an irreversible, ever-reforming path? Or will Francis fade like the council, a meteorite in the night sky? Francis is the first pontiff educated during the council. He is a product of the council. In this sense, he is the first post-conciliar pontiff. Further, he embraces the theology and spirit of the council with seemingly unbridled affection. The Francis era is really a new phase in an unfolding church reform story, one, as Francis reminds us, that will be full of surprises.
[Thomas C. Fox is NCR publisher. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.com.]
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March 15, 2013
LAS VEGAS, Nev. -
For the second straight year, the Wyoming basketball team will play in the semifinals of the Reese's Mountain West Basketball Championships. They will take on the second seeded Fresno State Bulldogs, on Friday, March 15, at 3:30 p.m. MT. Live stats can be followed or audio can be found on www.gowyo.com.
The Cowgirls are currently 24-6 overall and 12-4 in MW play after pulling out an exciting 60-58 win in the first round. Four of five starters are averaging double-figures led by Chaundra Sewell. She is averaging 14.8 points and a league leading 9.8 rebounds. Kayla Woodward follows closely with 14.2 points and 6.3 rebounds while Kaitlyn Mileto is adding 12.4 points. Senior Ashley Sickles is chipping in 11.2 points and 5.4 boards as well.
Wyoming is first in the league in scoring offense (70.7 ppg), rebounding margin (+8.1) and assists (16.0 aspg). They are also shooting 765-1709 (.448) from the field and 194-514 (.377) from beyond the arc. Both rank first in the league. In Mountain West games, they were first in scoring offense, assists and field goal percentage, second in free throw percentage and rebounding margin.
The Bulldogs enter the contest with a 22-8 overall record and 13-3 in the MW. They come in as the two seed and defeated Boise State 72-55 in the quarterfinals. They are led by Ki-Ki Moore who is averaging a team high 16.8 points and 6.2 rebounds. Rosie Moult follows with 12.9 points and 4.9 boards. They return four starters and seven letterwinners to a team that went 28-6 overall, 13-1 in the WAC and made it to the first round of the NCAA Tournament.
This will be the 19th meeting between the two schools. The series is tied 9-9. The two teams split the season series as FSU defeated the Cowgirls 61-47 on Feb. 16, 2013 in Fresno, while Wyoming defeated Fresno State, 78-71, in Laramie. The Bulldogs are coached by Raegen Pebley who is in her first season with the program.


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November 28, 2007
Quote Of The Day
From stand-up comedian Keith Alberstadt:
Fantasy Football is like Dungeons and Dragons for the guys who used to make fun of people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
I take part in neither. As I've said to the many people who suggested I join either: "I'm a geek. But I'm not that kind of geek."
August 7, 2007
Guinness Gets Bee
r Muscles
Guinness is an interesting dog… He managed to swallow a bee yesterday, ended up with my hysteric pregnant wife taking him to the vet, as he's throwing up and apparently having trouble breathing. The vet gave him a couple injections in case he was having a reaction to the bee, and eventually he came home.
But I think one of two things occurred. Either there was a mixup, and my little Guinness is juicin' like Barry Bonds, or the bee was radioactive and has turned him into a superdog. Because I don't know how else he would have picked up this massive bone!
July 11, 2007
Terrorist Metalheads Coming To An Airport Near You!
James Hetfield, lead singer of Metallica, looks suspiciously like a terrorist to the Brits.
I'd describe the full story, but Justin of autoDogmatic has done a much better job. He explains that government is quite capable of dishing out its nonsensical harassment and justice for all:
James Hetfield, lead-singer of Metallica, learned this week that the UK's Luton airport was not on his list of places he can roam freely. Sad but true, Hetfield was detained due to his "Taliban-like beard" making officials nervous. One wonders if the rock star felt like an outlaw torn or just another victim of the master of puppets, big brother government. But for his devil's dance, quickly explaining to the officials that he was a rock star, and not a terrorist, Hetfield may have felt a bit … I don't know … minus human? Though Hetfield escaped relatively unscathed, nay more a hero of the day, I have no doubt that the memory of his detiainment will remain though nothing else matters.
Let this be a lesson: in the land of wolf and man, the bell tolls for us all … until the-thing-that-should-not-be sleeps, that is.
I'd warn those governments about Hetfield, though… He's been known to fight fire with fire, and may leave you blackened.
May 7, 2007
Bachelor Chow, Part 2
I was showing off pictures a few weeks ago of things like red meat and vegetables, elaborate fajitas, and the like. I chose not to show any pictures of tonight, because it's little more than a broken man.
With the move coming up, I've been packing like a madman. I stopped cooking a few days ago, because I packed up the cookware. I've thrown away the various additives that don't transport well and are cheap (vinegar, flour, etc). And tonight for dinner I polished off the leftover roast beef sub I bought for lunch.
Hungry in the evening, I started looking around in the freezer… "Hmm", I thought, "there's some mint chocolate chip ice cream in here! That'll hit the spot!"
So I pulled it out of the freezer and opened the cupboard. "Ahh hell, I packed up the bowls…" Then I opened the drawers. "Ahh shit, I packed the silverware too!"
So it was off to improvise. I looked around and I saw a slightly non-conventional spoon. It was marked with a stamp that said "1 tablespoon" and was on a keyring with other, similar, spoons. And I didn't have a bowl, but I still had the tub the ice cream was sitting in.
So I sat down with a 1 tbsp measuring spoon and a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream to end the evening… Gluttony, thy name is Brad.
April 10, 2007
Italians & Their Mothers
I saw this…
Mammas pick their sons' brides on Italy reality TV
Often seen as mommy's boys, Italian men are now letting their mothers choose their future wives live on television.
Italy's state TV aired the first episode of a new reality show this week in which the mothers of five single men have to pick out prospective brides from a selection of candidates.
Must.Avoid.The.Joke…. Ah, screw it.
Why do Italian men grow moustaches? (answer below the fold)
It reminds them of their mothers.
April 3, 2007
Grocery Inflation
I blame the money supply.
Ever since my wife went out of town, my grocery bills seem to have doubled. She would come home every Saturday talking about what she'd bought for the week… "I've only spent $39, and I've got us food for a week!"
Well, now that she is out of town, I can't seem to spend less than $75 for the week. And I'm only feeding myself! And I didn't even factor in the cost of beer!
Now, I could suggest that maybe it's due to the fact that I'm buying little more than large quantities of meat and fresh vegetables. And that since I haven't figured out portion control, I'm pretty much eating enough food for three (oddly, I'm not gaining weight?)… After all, one night last week I had a little over a pound of salmon ($15) and a little over a pound of asparagus ($3). Tonight I had over a pound of sausage/peppers/redonion, which came in a ready-cut package, and two ears of corn on the cob. Maybe quantity and choice of food have something to do with it? Nah…
It can't be my eating habits, my lack of shopping acumen, or anything of my own fault. I prefer to blame inflation. Damn you, Ben Bernanke! Damn you to hell!
The Unrepentant Individual linked with No Lambic! Cheezborger Saison!
April 2, 2007
This Is Sick And Wrong. You Shouldn't Watch It.
Seriously. Don't click play.
March 27, 2007
The Search For The Beast
(I don't normally venture into the world of fiction, but I've been mulling this one over for a while. Let me know what you think.)
Lieutenant Hernandez— known more readily as Mr. Hernandez these days— squatted behind an azalea bush outside a rather nice home. Something didn't seem right. The house was oddly quiet, as if nobody was home, but he could see a flicker of a television screen inside. Relaxing before he made an entrance in the fading light of dusk, he sensed he'd reached his destination. He also sensed something else…
Luis Hernandez was on the edge in his youth. He was one of those 'tweeners, a kid who was bright enough to do whatever he chose in life, but had a heart for adventure that always seemed to get him into trouble. He never seemed to do well in school, a fact that befuddled his teachers, who saw him accomplish great things when he put his mind to it, but never seemed to apply himself. Only one of his teachers really got him motivated, his history teacher, Mr. Thompson.
Everyone hated Thompson. He was a gruff, demanding man, who was quick to tell you when you were wrong, and wasn't quick to congratulate you when you were right. He was a fair teacher, willing to improve your grade if you could coherently argue your wrong answer, but if he argued back and you faltered, you were out of luck. Thompson was known for kids transferring out of his class early in a semester. He had a knack for making the weak-willed students cry. Only a few people could possibly excel in a class like his; it took an iron will, a relentless work ethic, and an ability to think on your feet that few possessed. Most of Luis' other teachers thought he would get skewered by Thompson, instead Luis was his favorite student.
It was Thompson who convinced Luis to join the service. In the barrio where Luis grew up, Thompson knew he'd end up turning to gangs, and probably sell drugs. Of course, it wasn't Luis' safety that Thompson was worried about, as he knew Luis had a knack for leadership and guile that would keep him safe. But he knew that Luis wanted more, and made sure that he joined the Marines right out of school, in 1979.
It was a culture shock, of course. Luis had been able to scrape by doing what he wanted when he wanted, and those first few days of boot camp saw him doing push-ups until he thought his arms would give out. Luis made the mistake early of talking back to his drill sergeant, and that meant that Luis was made an example of. Quickly he got to know the bad side of his superiors, but his brash behavior made him some quick friends among his unit. It only took two weeks, though. Once he realized he didn't have a choice, he sunk back under the radar and moved his way through the rest of basic without much incident.
He thought he was under the radar, of course. Ever since the early days, his sergeant had pegged him as a leader. He would take some molding, of course, but he had a way with his fellow soldiers that the sergeant had seen before. He was going to go places.
Luis was always at the head of the line for promotions. After he had learned the discipline of the Marines, and accepted that he wasn't getting out of it, he started to excel. He quickly saw that if he could get enough time to get himself a college degree, he'd be a shoo-in for OCS. When his superiors saw him in action in Grenada, they decided to support his ambitions. They thought he was likely to stick around the Corps for a while, so he was selected for MECEP, the program which would allow him to complete a degree and become an officer. He— greatly surprising himself— took extra classes to complete his Bachelors Degree in Political Science in only three years, finishing in May 1987.
He had barely gotten the ink dry on his commission when he saw action in Panama, but he proved himself worthy. The ability to speak Spanish from his childhood came in handy, and he was a major asset on the ground. After Grenada, he saw some more action in the First Gulf War, where he was promoted from 2nd Lieutenant to 1st Lieutenant. But then the military changed. He wanted to stay in, but the military started cutting their headcount, and in early 2004, Luis Hernandez found himself out of a job.
He tried the corporate world for a while, and it seemed like he was back in high school. He didn't have any high aspirations, didn't really care about what he was doing, and although he did enough to get by, never really excelled. Of course, going from combat to corporate will take the wind out of anyone's sails. He spent three years working in an office, before he decided he needed out.
He went into business for himself. Did some security consulting, some personal protection jobs, but eventually started getting into corporate espionage. He soon realized that he was doing something he loved, he was great at it, and he was making more money than he'd ever imagined. If only that old man Thompson could see him now!
He got a reputation as a man who would deliver the goods when asked. Nobody really questioned his methods, only that he could deliver. It's not that his methods were unethical, per se, but a man in Luis' position quickly learns that traditional ethics don't apply, and had constructed his own moral code. It got him into trouble a few times, and he had to turn down or cancel a few jobs mid-stream that he found objectionable, but he was more than solid enough otherwise to ensure repeat business.
His resume grew. Intel, Microsoft, Goldman Sachs, Pfizer. Occasionally some off-the-books government work. He managed to find what he needed to find. When rumors surfaced of production problems at overseas facilities, he was there. When the financial guys wanted to make sure the companies they gave "Buy†recommendations to weren't cooking the books, he was there. When the drug companies wanted evidence to file patent infringement lawsuits, they sent Luis.
This was why he found it very odd when he received a call in 2003 from Hanes. After all, there's not a lot of corporate espionage in the underwear world. It was even more bizarre when they scheduled to meet him at corporate HQ. Why would they want someone who so often acted in anonymity to pull into their parking lot and sign in with a receptionist?
He was intrigued, but decided to check things out. When he walked into a boardroom full of bigwigs, complete with a projector set up and "Welcome, Luis!†as the first slide of a Powerpoint presentation, he started to worry someone had set him up. At the very least, it was clear that these people had no understanding of operational security. IF they wanted him to engage in corporate espionage, it would have been insane to meet him under these circumstances. Nothing, of course, could have been further from the truth. The rest of the meeting set into action a chain of events that he never could have expected.
"Luis,†they asked him, "have you ever lost a sock?†Of course he had, Luis responded.
"Did you ever joke that maybe those socks were stolen?†Again, Luis responded in the affirmative, as he had often joked with his family that some monster came in late at night to steal the missing socks.
The bigwigs from Hanes continued to tell a tale that Luis thought could only be a joke. Stories abounded of young children seeing an "animal†scurrying off in the night in a blur with their socks. Babies with bite marks all over their feet when the beast would grow bold enough to remove their socks while they were wearing them. Only a few stories came from adults, as the beast was known for avoiding adults, but those few were from sources credible enough to be trusted. Stories existed from every continent of sightings, but nothing conclusive enough to locate the beast.
It wasn't a joke after all, and they were going to pay him enough money to buy the island of Grenada to capture that beast! Even if he couldn't manage to lure it out and trap it, they'd pay dearly for pictures to prove it exists.
Luis left the meeting in a daze, with a check in his pocket and a couple of leads to get him started. Could this beast really exist? What sort of creature would hoard socks? Luis still didn't quite believe it, but he had negotiated a contract lucrative enough that even if he never found this mythical creature, he would still be well-paid for the search. Given that he was starting to tire of the monotony of corporate espionage, something new might be a welcome change.
His first leads took him down to South America, where his heritage and command of the language already made him feel at home. While most of the legends of the Chupacabra involved the destruction of livestock, a few also included the disappearance of socks. These stories emerged from all over South America, in little towns where there seemed no chance that the legends could have spread between these towns by chance.
Mexico, Nicaragua, all the way down to Argentina and Peru. He kept hearing stories, but they all seemed to be dead ends. It became increasingly apparent that the beast he was after wasn't the Chupacabra. Sightings of both had occurred, and he pieced together the accounts to determine that the beast who stole socks was not the same who destroyed livestock.
Seeing that his search would be fruitless in South America, he moved on. He next flew to the Himalayas, as the stories of the mythical Yeti were also accompanied, like the Chupacabra, with lost socks. Again he found that sightings of the Yeti and the beast who steals socks were certainly not the same.
He was beginning to see a pattern. While often there were reports of a beast who steals socks in the same location as the stories of other mythical creatures, it was clear that the two were not the same. Further research uncovered a startling fact: while the stories of a Yeti or Chupacabra were found only in certain regions, the stories of the sock-stealing monster were global!
Luis realized that he was on the track of something truly groundbreaking. He knew that the capture of this beast would result not only in him being paid unreal sums of money, but that it would include tremendous fame as well.
Luis tracked the stories of the creature for three more years. It seemed that everywhere he went, he would encounter stories of the beast. Occasionally he would also encounter some who had seen the beast. It was a small, dark creature, four-legged. It moved quickly but with stealth. But the most universal report was the creature's eyes. They glowed red like nothing people had ever seen. It was consistent with nearly every sighting. The eyes were always remembered, always brought up, even when the other details didn't entirely match. Luis started to understand that he wasn't trailing a mythical beast, but something that must be real.
In late 2006, Luis decided to try a different approach. He knew he was getting close to the nature of the myth, but locating the beast was another matter entirely. He decided to scour the worldwide news articles for mentions of socks. It sounded like a long shot, but he was getting desperate, and Hanes was getting mighty tired of paying down his expense account.
What he found was intriguing. Judging from news stories, it was clear that there were reports worldwide of piles of socks being found all over the world, but with no explanation. Luis surmised that this must mean only one thing: when the beast is frightened, it tends to save itself rather than the socks. Nobody had ever delved into these reports, though. Occasionally it was nothing more than a local quirk that some hiker had found. On some occasions there were searches to see if they were socks from people who might have met an ill fate. But nobody had ever asked why these socks had shown up when the trails ran cold. Furthermore, nobody had ever analyzed these stories to see where they were most common.
It was here that Luis made his breakthrough. The stories of found socks were worldwide, but they weren't equally distributed. The stories were most prevalent in America, and in the American Southeast. Luis knew where to focus his search!
It was that chain of events that placed Luis behind an azalea bush in the Atlanta suburbs. With the sun going down, he picked the lock and entered the house.
Greeted by a little barking dog, he realized he must be in the wrong place. After all, this beast wouldn't allow a little yapping creature like this to live here, would it? He must be in the wrong house.
He followed the dog around a corner— and stopped short. The sight before him, of a mound of socks up to the ceiling, left him breathless. He WAS in the right place! But where was the beast? Nothing was here but a small dog, and that dog most certainly didn't have glowing red eyes.
The dog, as if it were supposed to be there guarding socks, sat down on a few. Luis decided to get a photo. He'd figure out this beast yet, but it must be gone finding more socks at the moment, so he was sure he had a few minutes to spare.
As he crouched next to the floor to get a photo, he heard the dog start to growl. Such a guttural growl from such a small dog, he had never heard before.
He aimed his camera, and as he was about to press the button, he realized his mistake. The dog's eyes were glowing red like candles!
When the authorities arrived two days later, they didn't find a dog, nor did they find any socks. They found Luis' body in a pool of blood, his jugular severed by a bite from an unknown creature. His shoes were in tatters, and his feet— bare.
But they did find one other thing at the scene: his camera.
The Unrepentant Individual linked with Book Review — Mean Martin Manning, by Scott Stein
March 24, 2007
An interesting piece of satire by the Scott Stein, about the pill that makes you taller. Well, not really, the pill that makes you THINK you're taller.
The pill didn't take immediate effect. For about 10 minutes you felt nothing. Then you were taller. That is, you believed you were. The drug convinced its user, whatever his height, that he was three inches taller. It was a new technology, and its power was limited, if perfect in its simplicity and specificity. Three inches was all it added. Gargantuanx could not alter the physical world–boxes of pasta on supermarket shelves which were out of reach before taking the pill did not get any closer after a dose. But under its influence, one was certain that the shelf of pasta was three inches higher than it had been, so the illusion that one was three inches taller was intact.
Heading down the proverbial rabbit hole [which seems an apt analogy when "one pill makes you larger"], the questions comes up: should Gargantuanx be prohibited? Thus, the name of the piece, Garghibition.
Check it out. If you have the same sort of bizarre sense of humor as I do– and you probably wouldn't be here if you didn't– you'll like it.
January 30, 2007
What's Wrong With This Picture?
Just something I noticed today…
What's wrong with this commercial?
Answer below the fold:
Who the hell buys salmon filets on eBay?!
January 11, 2007
New Blue Law in Georgia
In a surprising turn, new legislation in Georgia has made it illegal to sell meat on Fridays during Lent. While it has been seen as an unchangeable practice for years to ban Sunday sales of alcohol, Georgia has now become the first state to expand the practice to non-alcohol goods.
The move is a surprise to most people, both in Georgia and around the country. No other states have suggested plans to follow suit, but analysts expect a ripple throughout the South as other evangelical-dominated states consider similar legislation.
The justification for the law, by the legislators, seems unclear. Most have taken a silent approach when asked, but it is largely thought that a small minority of Christians convinced Georgia's legislators that it was their role to enforce dietary rules of religious observance. Pastor Bobby Smith, of the New Life Church of Atlanta, did suggest that the rules were not intended to bind people to religious observance, but purely as a restriction of commerce:
"I'm not saying that people can't eat meat on Fridays during Lent," Smith said, "I just think that we as a society should not be encouraging it. If they want to buy their meat on Thursday, and eat it on Friday, that's just fine. This isn't an infringement on anyone's rights. After all, we're not making it illegal every day during Lent, just on Fridays. But America was founded on Christian ideals, and I think we should respect the Lord's wishes on our observance of his laws."
The new law has drawn ire from many sides. The ACLU issued a joint statement with the American Atheists, threatening lawsuits based on the separation of church and state. Most alcohol-related blue laws have survived such challenges based on the 21st Amendment, but it's unclear whether the measure will have other legal cover. One Georgia legislator, though, speaking on condition of anonymity, suggested that the court may be the only option to fight this law:
"We've learned from the unpopularity of blue laws that very few people are in favor of the law. However, it's not enough of an imposition that they take the energy to fight the law. The supporters, however, are rabid, and will withhold their vote, as a group, from any politician who endorses the end of blue laws."
Legal fights are expected to take years. In the meantime, however, Georgia shoppers should hope they remember to buy their meat on Thursday.
Yes, in case you're wondering, I've made all this up.
Sadly, this appears to be the entire justification for the continuation of blue laws. Many politicians fear the end of these laws simply because they're afraid to upset a core group of rabid constituents. It doesn't matter that the laws are hypocritical (as in legalizing the sale of "immoral" alcohol but restricting it only one day of the week, unless you're in a restaurant, in which case it's okay). Nor does it matter that it's an infringement upon the rights of people to engage in commerce. It doesn't even matter that most people don't support the laws. Nobody in the legislature has the courage to stand up and strike them down.
December 7, 2006
Love is a Fallacy
I was talking with a buddy of mine from Chicago last night, nicknamed Sober John (only half of the name is accurate), and he pointed me to a little online story.
It's a quick read, but if you actually enjoy reading what I write, you'll probably enjoy this too.
November 30, 2006
Why I Can't Stand Christmas Music
Immediately following Thanksgiving, you see about three or four radio stations in every major market switch over to an all-Christmas, all-the-time format. And I'm damn sick of it. But only this year have I really asked why. First, I thought it might be the standard depression of the season, as the college football regular season has ended and we've got a good 4 weeks before any meaningful bowl games start. But there's more than that.
I can sum it up in one word. Encomium. Obviously, that requires a little explanation. Encomium is a CD that came out a few years ago, a tribute to Led Zeppelin. It contained covers of Led Zeppelin tunes by a number of hit bands. And some of them were pretty good, such as Stone Temple Pilots' cover of Dancing Days. They kept much of the spirit and feel of the song, while putting a little of their own twist on it. But others weren't so great. There are just as many hits as misses when you try to put your own spin on a great.
And that right there is what Christmas music is. Every crooner, from the greats, to the has-beens, and the never-were's have made a Christmas album. I heard a cover of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" on the radio today by Sixpence None the Richer. For every smooth, well-produced tune with a voice like Harry Connick Jr powering the lyrics, there are multiple failures. It's the same tune sung by the Chipmunks. It might be some nobody who has put a mediocre vocal on top of some bad 80's synthesizer melody and beats. Or it's a "diva", who is turning what should be a single note into a trembling, wavering journey through six different octaves. Heck, Weird Al Yankovic can make one hell of a polka, but I really never thought "O Tannenbaum" needed an accordion solo!
There's a lot of great music, and a lot of crappy music in the world. Over time, most of the crappy music finds the dust bin of history. You don't hear many radio stations playing a Rollins Band cover of Zeppelin these days. But bad Christmas music is eternal. I guess when you have to fill 24 hours a day, seven days a week, on multiple radio stations, you don't want to only play the good stuff. But the bad stuff is enough to ruin it for me. You can keep your Chipmunks and your divas, I'll tune in to the channels playing normal music.
UPDATE: I was talking to a customer at work today, and he put me on hold. I was treated to hold music consisting of Christmas music performed by barking dogs. I CAN'T ESCAPE IT!!!
Below The Beltway linked with What He Said
June 13, 2006
Beer Jokes
All taken from this thread at beeradvocate.com:
An oil tycoon from Texas is vacationing in Ireland. He stops by the local and puts a wager up to the crowd. He tells them he'll pay $10,000 to anyone who can drink 10 pints in two minutes. One man is so offended he leaves the bar.
After a few minutes the Texan asks if no one is man enough to take the take and that he'd heard Irish men could drink. A minute later, the man who left walks back into the bar gets the barkeep to line up ten pints and takes them in about a minute and a half. The Texan owes up to the bet and congratulates the Irishman. He says to the man "That was quite impressive but I have to ask; Where'd you go when you left?"
The Irishman replied "I went to the pub down the road. I had to make sure I could do it first."
A man walks into a bar and orders a draft and sits down. After a couple sips a monkey runs up and quickly dips his balls in the man's beer. The man is furious and can't believe what just happened. "Bartender!", the man said "That monkey just dipped his balls in my beer, I can't drink this, give me another one."
The bartender serves him another, but after a moment the monkey appears again and before the man could stop him he dips his balls in the beer again. "That damn monkey just did it again, I can't drink this!", he said. "Bartender, give me another beer please."
The bartender poured the man a third pint and this time the man was determined not to let that monkey dip his balls in it. He watched the beer closely, and the monkey was not in sight, so he started chatting with a woman across the bar. As soon as he stopped paying attention the monkey snuck up like lightning, and quickly dipped his balls in the beer again.
"I've had enough of this!", the man yelled, "All my beers have been ruined." "Is that your monkey bartender?" "No", he replied, "That monkey belongs to the piano player over there"
The man gets up from his barstool and approaches the piano player and taps him on the back. "Excuse me sir, do you know your monkey is dipping his balls in my beer?" "No I sure don't." replied the piano player. "But, if you hum a few notes I can try to fake it."
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking beer years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."
A young Irishman walked into the local pub, took a seat at the bar and orders 3 beers. After an hour or so, the bartender asked the man, "Excuse Sir, I noticed that you've been here for a while and ordered 3 beers when you sat down. Wouldn't it have made sense to order your beer one at a time so that they don't go flat?"
He said, "Well Sir you see, my 2 brothers are living in other countries and we don't get the chance to see each other very much. So, we designated this date and time each year to go to the nearest pub, order 1 beer for each brother and drink them in rememberance of each other."
After several years of this ritual, the man then showed up to the pub and only ordered 2 beers. The bartender got a sinking feeling in his heart thinking that something must have happened to one of the brothers.
Before the Irishman finished his last beer, the bartender said, "I'm sorry for your loss sir…"
The Irishman said,"Pardon me?"
The bartender said, "Well, I noticed that you only ordered 2 beers this year and assumed that one of your brothers had passed away."
The Irishman said, "Oh no Sir, this is the year that I've decided to quit drinking"
A guy is drinking at the bar when he decides it's time to go home. He tries to stand up from his stool and falls flat on his face. He tries to get up and falls again. He thinks "Damn, I'm drunk…I just need some air." So he crawls outside and tries to get up, but falls again. He knows he needs to get home so his wife won't know he's been out drinking late, so he crawls himself all the way home, drags himself up the stairs into bed next to his wife, and passes out.
His wife wakes up the next morning, looks at him and says "You've been drinking."
He tries to act innocent. "No I haven't. What makes you think that?"
"You left your wheelchair at the bar again!"
A guy walks into a bar with his dog, orders an Abita beer, and asks if the Saints game is on.
"Wait a minute, buddy," the bartender says. "There's no dogs allowed in here."
"But you don't understand," the man says. "My dog and I are total Saints fans! We've been watching them play for 20 years now! I'm afraid this might be old Spot's last game with me, and the danged TV at the house just died!"
The bartender takes pity on the man and allows him to keep the dog so long as there's no funny business.
A few minutes into the game, the Saints score a first down. The dog starts going wild, doing backflips, buying random patrons beers, and just going nuts.
"Wow," the bardtender comments. "You're not kidding, that dog is a crazy Saints fan. What does he do when the Saints win a game?"
"I dunno," the guy says. "Like I said, I only had him for 20 years now."
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."
Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."
So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!"
The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"
Jessica replied, "only when he's drunk."
After a night of heavy beer drinking, a man wakes up at home with a terrible hangover. He thinks to himself, "Ahh crap, my wife is going to kill me."
Instead, as he clears his eyes, he sees a glass of ice water and two aspirin on his bedstand, with a note saying "Had to run some errands. Hope you get well soon. Your loving wife, Laura." The man is clearly confused by this, and expects some sort of trap.
He goes downstairs, vaguely remembering coming home drunk and vomiting everywhere. He steps into the kitchen, where he sees his favourite breakfast already prepared for him. Eggs benedict, sausage, bacon, coffee and orange juice. Beside his breakfast is the morning newspaper, already turned to the sports section. He's thinking to himself, what is going on? Why is my wife treating me so nice? He sits down on the chair, and slowly starts eating his breakfast, wondering if she poisoned the coffee or put too much salt on the eggs.
Eventually, his son comes down. Confused, he asks his son what happened. "Well," said the son, "You came home piss drunk, with vomit all over your clothes. It took you 30 minutes to try and get in the door. Once in, you fell down, pissed yourself and vomited all over mom's shoes. You tried to get upstairs, but kept falling and puking everywhere. Mom woke up, was furious, and dragged you upstairs. She threw you in the bathtub and showered you off. Afterwards, you got up and passed out on the bed.
Seeing that you puked all over your jacket and clothes, she tried to take off your clothes so she can clean them. As she was taking off your pants, you woke up and yelled out "GET OFF ME, YOU SLUT! I'M MARRIED!"
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him? The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a beer. The bartender comes over and, still politely – but more firmly, refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a beer. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries "MAAAN! How many bars do you work at?
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walkinto the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again–but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds– and when he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus ?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath–and says to the Preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that
you're from Ireland"
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
The first guy says, "So am I! And where about in Ireland might you be from?"
The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"
The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part
of town."
The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?"
The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, in what year did you graduate?"
The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary' s in 1964 my own self."
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."
Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"
"The Murphy twins are drunk again."
June 6, 2006
De-Lurker Captioning
Alright, I can tell from my referrer logs that there are lot more people reading this blog than commenting. So who's got a good caption for this? If you've never commented, say hello and give it a try!
My selection: "I told you to stay away from my wife, you furry bastard!"
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text:
Can somebody please advise me??? My son was diagnosed at 2 1/2 on the spectrum. In some ways I'm lucky, he is very high functioning (as autistic as Bill Gates I was told). He does play with other children and will initiate. But communication really holds him back. He is now 4 but prefers to play with 2-3 year olds becuse they don't ask questions and don't speak so good either. He has a rather large vocabulary considering he had none at 2 1/2 but he cannot put more than 3 words together. His dad and I try to get him to say sentences before we give him what he wants ("I want milk please") instead of saying "milk please" but his brain just can't seem to do it. When asked a question he has to make a choice he always says he wants the last thing said. He is a parrot a lot too with repeating many things said to him and other times he will say the same thing over and over and over when it has no relationship to what is happening around him.
Will real communication ever develop???? We get so discouraged and our "experts" sure don't seem to be able to encourage mom and dad too well. I would love to hear from a parent who has "seen the light" at the end of the tunnel and has a child that does speak and communicate.
Also, as weird as this sounds, can somebody give pointers how to potty train an autistic child??? He just can't get it together even with rewards.
Thank you!
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text:
What is the VitaLife Cup?
The VitaLife Cup is a magnetic cup made of 100% organic clay with an innovative built in magnetic system at its base that enhances and improves the properties of natural and sparkling water.
In addition, when used as instructed the VLC produces vortexed and magnetized water (VorMAG water) an Edgar Cayce recommendation.
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The VLC carries 3 Patents and is Trademarked.
Each VLC is hand crafted, packaged and shipped from the European Union (EU).
Weight of VLC is 17.4 ounces / 495 grams
Please allow 10-14 days for delivery.


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Type of Document Master's Thesis Author Walker, William Paul Author's Email Address email@example.com URN etd-08182009-141222 Title Unsteady Aerodynamics of Deformable Thin Airfoils Degree Master of Science Department Aerospace and Ocean Engineering Advisory Committee
Advisor Name Title Patil, Mayuresh J. Committee Chair Canfield, Robert A. Committee Member Devenport, William J. Committee Member Keywords
- Unsteady Aerodynamics
- Deformable Airfoils
Date of Defense 2009-08-05 Availability unrestricted AbstractUnsteady aerodynamic theories are essential in the analysis of bird and insect flight. The study of these types of locomotion is vital in the development of flapping wing aircraft. This paper uses potential flow aerodynamics to extend the unsteady aerodynamic theory of Theodorsen and Garrick (which is restricted to rigid airfoil motion) to deformable thin airfoils. Frequency-domain lift, pitching moment and thrust expressions are derived for an airfoil undergoing harmonic oscillations and deformation in the form of Chebychev polynomials. The results are validated against the time-domain unsteady aerodynamic theory of Peters. A case study is presented which analyzes several combinations of airfoil motion at different phases and identifies various possibilities for thrust generation using a deformable airfoil. Files
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Cast: Kamal Hassan, Sridevi, Silk Smita, Gulshan Grover, Leela Mishra, Asha Lata, Birbal, Padma Chavan, Arvind Deshpande and others
Director: Balu Mahendra
Produced by: N C Sippy, Romu Sippy, Raj Sippy
Genre: Romance
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A young woman receives a head injury in an automobile accident and becomes like a six-year-old. She leaves the hospital unattended and ends up in a brothel. She is rescued by a young man who takes her to his home in the mountains. Meanwhile, her parents and the police are looking for her, and just as she is cured, they come to take her back to Bombay.
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Stoney, (George) Johnstone (1826–1911)
Beginning in 1870, Stoney presented a series of papers to the Royal Dublin Society in which he (1) accounted for the Moon's lack of atmosphere in terms of the low lunar gravity, (2) explained the absence of hydrogen from the Earth's atmosphere in terms of the high average velocity of hydrogen molecules, and (3) concluded that probably no water exists on Mars (see Mars, water). It was not until 1898 that these results were published, together with other conclusions about the remaining objects in the Solar System, including that Jupiter can retain all known gases (see gas giant), whereas most moons and all asteroids are devoid of an atmosphere.
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When I was a kid I spent a lot of time in swimming pools. By the time my parents moved the family from Massachusetts to California when I was in fifth grade I was all about competitive swimming. We went from horrendous hot and humid summers and bone-chilling wet Eastern winters to the relative benign comfortable climate of Northern California. We had a house in Silicon Valley with a pool and a diving board.
I got into it. I raced the breast stroke, learned how to dive and spent days on end in the back yard. Then, disaster. My parents moved us just outside of Chicago and the party was over. The whole family seized up and after only eight short months we gave up Chicago and moved back into the same neighborhood that we were in before in Saratoga, Calif.
In those days, Saratoga was mostly apricot orchards. I worked with the migrants at the farm near our house, cutting the fruits in half, removing the pits and setting the apricot halves onto large metal trays to dry in the sun.
Unlike the ladies I was working with, I collected my cash and headed home to the pool. The pool in our new house was constructed so that the second story roof was right over the deep end. My brothers and I capitalized on this design flaw and we learned to leap from great heights without fear. When my parents came home unexpectedly one day and discovered their sons flinging themselves off the roof above their second story balcony, they went ballistic.
I had a diving coach in high school who was fearless. He'd do a front flip landing back on the board and then do a one-and-a-half with a twist without making a splash. We tried stuff. I feel lucky now that no one ever got hurt flying off the roof into the pool.
After college I moved to the valley and my days of Speedos and shenanigans were behind me. I got to relive a little of my glory days when I would play with my young daughter, Riley, in the awesome pool at Aspen Village. She'd get on my shoulders and I would crouch down and spring her off as I jumped up. "Again," she would insist.
With the exception of a few visits to the hot springs pool over the years, I have left the gainers, back flips and butterflies safely behind. Until yesterday.
My friend Jim Calaway has been raving about his new exercise routine at the River Valley Ranch pool. When Jim falls in love with something he makes you want to fall in love with it, too. So at 9 a.m. Monday I found myself entering the lap pool at River Valley Ranch with more than 20 other water-exercise enthusiasts. We selected a "noodle" and a couple of buoyant dumbbells and assumed our positions in the lanes.
My mom had told me about water aerobics and I always thought that it would be a great thing for her to do. It's social and works just about every muscle you have. Perfect for mom, but me? I'm young and strong. I should be doing Crossfit or Zumba, not doing underwater kicks with a noodle. But Monday I was ready for something new and I dove into water aerobics with both feet.
Our instructor, Barbara, hit the music machine and got us stretching. Modern dance versions of dozens of familiar show tunes bubbled from the speakers … Oliver … The Man of La Mancha … Phantom of the Opera … Grease … all of them melding one into the other. We kicked and curled, pedaled and pumped to the music. Many of my fellow swimmers got lost in the tune and sang along, only knowing some of the words, just like me. Luckily, the lady next to me knew all the moves (and most of the words) and helped me choreograph the more complex exercises.
I was the youngest person in the pool but not one of the swimmers held my youth and inexperience against me. Some even asked if I would be back. If they'll have me I will be back.
After the hour-long session I asked the instructor what part of Massachusetts she was from. I recognized her accent. It turns out she went to the same high school as my mom and her husband worked at the hospital where I was born. It's a small world. That's what I found out in the pool at River Valley Ranch.
Steve Skinner has come a long way from the swim meet to the foam dumbbells. Reach him on Mondays in the pool at RVR.


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CSULB FEA Department Office: UTC 104 Phone: 562-985-5404 Fax: 562-985-5405
Surfside is an independent production company within our Department. Students receive course credit for finding clients and producing programming for them that airs on Charter Cable. For more information, contact email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.com.
Formed by two enterprising FEA production students, the film club is an officially sanctioned campus organization that is dedicated to making movies outside of our formal curriculum. Association members find that participation is a great way to get hands-on experience while becoming acquainted with students who share many of the same career goals.
College Beat Television (CBTV) is a student-run television station, producing various creative content. College Beat provides technical and professional development as well as networking opportunities. Production opportunities range from the writers room to directing to camerawork to editing. It produces shows ranging from event coverage segments to a late night talk show to a narrative episodic TV series. CBTV content is shown through online outlets, campus flatscreens, and charter cable. Interested students should contact the Chief Executive Producer via firstname.lastname@example.com.
K-Beach Radio is a fully student run, global radio station broadcasting online at www.kbeach.org from CSULB's Student Union. Coming up on their 10 year anniversary, K-Beach offers many volunteer opportunities for students interested in entering the field, ranging from on-air hosting to working behind the scenes and learning how to run a radio station.
K-Beach also has a digital live room where acts can come in and play to an audience in the Student Union and hosts a weekly concert series at the Nugget Pub and Grill on campus. Interested students should contact K-Beach's general manager via email at email@example.com.
KJZZ-FM (88.1 FM) is a legendary jazz and blues station that serves the Southern California market. New studio opportunities in programming and production are being planned with the new station management. For more information, go to jazzandblues.org.


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AT&T Extends Mobility at Abington Memorial Hospital
3G Devices Provide Remote Voice and Data Capabilities for Clinical Managers
Abington, Pennsylvania, Dallas, Texas, June 7, 2007
AT&T Inc. (NYSE: T) has announced that Abington Memorial Hospital (AMH), a 570-bed regional teaching hospital in southeastern Pennsylvania, is using a 3G-powered AT&T wireless solution that enhances the connectivity of the clinical management team and administrators beyond the hospital campus.
AT&T is providing approximately 130 Samsung BlackJack™ smart devices that operate on the AT&T BroadbandConnect network to AMH physicians, department heads and clinical managers. The hand-held devices provide remote information access to key personnel. Clinical managers can use the BlackJack to contact physicians with critical patient updates, and physicians can use the same device to call the hospital or patient to discuss the case.
"The new solutions provide efficient, portable access to voice and data over one hand-held device, enhancing remote communications capabilities," said Alison Ferren, vice president, Information Technology, AMH. "By extending the reach of the entire management team, the hospital is better equipped to deliver excellent patient care."
"Abington Memorial Hospital is known as a technology innovator," said Tom Erdman, vice president, Corporate Markets Group, AT&T's wireless unit. "Its deployment of wireless data is consistent with its use of cutting-edge medical solutions, such as voice-activated equipment, robotic surgical tools and digital implant devices, all of which are important parts of the hospital's treatment programs. We look forward to continuing to work with Abington Memorial as it defines even more ways in which to use wireless for the benefit of its staff and patients."
In addition to receiving hospital data via e-mail, the BlackJack allows physicians and administrators to sync with calendar functions and to access online research, such as pharmaceutical and medical journal sites, using the 3G BroadbandConnect wireless data network.
The integrated voice and data device uses a QWERTY keyboard, which makes typing e-mail messages and text messages faster. It uses the Microsoft Windows Mobile® 5.0 operating system to deliver mobile versions of familiar Microsoft desktop applications, such as Windows Media® Player 10 Mobile, Internet Explorer® Mobile and Outlook® Mobile. The smart device will be upgradeable to Windows Mobile 6 later this year. The BlackJack also includes an MP3 player and 1.3 megapixel digital camera for additional multimedia needs.
The Messaging and Security Feature Pack for Windows Mobile 5.0, included with the BlackJack, provides support for Microsoft Direct Push technology to keep e-mail, calendar, tasks and contacts up to date, as well as such security features as remote device wipe and rich-security encryption features.
AT&T customers who use the BlackJack can take the 3G BroadbandConnect experience with them in more than 166 major metropolitan areas in the U.S. and seamlessly access AT&T's nationwide,* high speed EDGE wireless data network when outside of 3G coverage areas. The BlackJack also can be used in more than 190 countries worldwide to make and receive voice calls, and it can be used in 125 countries to access data.
*Not available in all areas.
|Related News:
|Web Site Links:
This AT&T news release and other announcements are available as part of an RSS feed at www.att.com/rss.
About Abington Memorial Hospital
Abington Memorial Hospital is a fully accredited, not-for-profit, 570-bed, regional teaching hospital. Located at 1200 Old York Road (Route 611) in Abington, PA, AMH has been providing comprehensive, high-quality services for people in Montgomery, Bucks and Philadelphia counties for more than 90 years. AMH is a major regional referral center for cancer care, cardiac care, and surgery (including orthopedic surgery and neurosurgery) and has the only trauma center in Montgomery County. AMH has a long tradition of high-quality maternity care and is a leader in senior health services.
About AT&T
AT&T Inc. (NYSE: T) is a premier communications holding company. Its subsidiaries and affiliates, AT&T operating companies, are the providers of AT&T services in the United States and around the world. Among their offerings are the world's most advanced IP-based business communications services and the nation's leading wireless, high speed Internet access and voice services. In domestic markets, AT&T is known for the directory publishing and advertising sales leadership of its Yellow Pages and YELLOWPAGES.COM organizations, and the AT&T brand is licensed to innovators in such fields as communications equipment. As part of its three-screen integration strategy, AT&T is expanding its TV entertainment offerings. Additional information about AT&T Inc. and the products and services provided by AT&T subsidiaries and affiliates is available at www.att.com.
©2007 AT&T Knowledge Ventures. All rights reserved. AT&T, AT&T logo, Cingular and Cingular logos are trademarks of AT&T Knowledge Ventures and/or AT&T affiliated companies. Subsidiaries and affiliates of AT&T Inc. provide products and services under the AT&T brand.


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But it was not all good news for British actors. The predicted posthumous award to Oliver Reed for his role as the fighting master in Gladiator was not to be, compounding the disappointment at his failure to win an Oscar nomination.
However, the huge Hollywood contingent, which also included Robert De Niro, Annette Bening and Robert Altman, did not seem too upset having spent the weekend schmoozing at Tina Brown's star-studded Talk magazine party, as well as three celebrity brunches.
Gladiator won best film, best cinematography and best production design but its British director, Ridley Scott, was beaten to best director by Ang Lee for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The Chinese film also won a Bafta for best costume design.
Julia Roberts as expected, walked away with best actress for Erin Brockovich, another good pointer towards the Oscars, while Steven Soderbergh's Traffic won two awards including best supporting actor for Benicio Del Toro. He beat Albert Finney to that award but Finney was consoled by picking up the academy fellowship, essentially a lifetime achievement award.
The biggest turn-up for the books, however, was in the Carl Foreman award for most promising British newcomer where Pawel Pawlakowski, the director of the sublime asylum seeker love story Lost Weekend, came out on top of probably the toughest shortlist in 10 years. Not only was he up against Daldry and Lee Hall, the writer of Billy Elliot, but he also had to contend with Simon Cellan-Jones, whose film Some Voices has been a massive sleeper hit in America.
Last year the only American star of any wattage to attend the Baftas was Kevin Spacey for American Beauty - and he was only there because he was shooting a film in London at the time. Last night, by contrast, there were limo jams in the West End as the biggest names in Hollywood queued to be ushered up the red carpet into the slightly less than salubrious environs of the Odeon Leicester Square for the ceremony. Unlike the cinema's paying patrons, the stars were not allowed to bring popcorn inside. Chilled bottles of champagne did, however, await them at their seats.
Bafta's chairman, Simon Relph, said the presence of A-list names like Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Juliette Binoche and Christina Ricci showed that the decision to move the ceremony to before the Oscars had paid off. With Altman, Bening, Swank, Goldie Hawn and Hugh Grant also making the transatlantic trip, it is clear that for the first time the studios are taking the awards seriously, although they have yet to spend even a fraction of a percentage of the money that is lavished on the members of the American Academy to secure their Oscar votes.
However, Mr Relph said the Baftas were not trading in decades of tradition in order to be a mere barometer for the Oscars. "Our awards - which are the only other truly international awards apart from the Oscars - continue to be a celebration of excellence by the British Academy which reflects British film-makers' and cinema-goers' ongoing passion for the movies." A Bafta award was no longer a consolation prize for not picking up an Oscar, Mr Relph said, but was now setting the agenda for others to follow.
Even so, for years the Baftas barely registered on Hollywood's radar, coming as they did in April, a month after the real business of the Oscars had been decided. Their main purpose was as a balm to the little band of British film-makers who returned battered and beaten from the Oscars each year, having learned to their cost that the Americans use the Academy Awards to celebrate their own - and often bland, middle-of-the-road American studio films at that.
Not all of the crowds thronging Leicester Square last night had been drawn by the big American stars who had flown in from California. There was a huge cheer in the run-up to the awards when Albert Finney's car was spotted - he is also in the running for an Oscar as best supporting actor for Erin Brockovich - and the residents of nearby Chinatown were out in force to greet Michelle Yeoh, the star of Ang Lee's martial arts blockbuster Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which was nominated for no fewer than 14 awards.
While London played host to Hollywood, the French lived up to their reputation for perversity, particularly when it comes to all things Anglo-Saxon, by snubbing Tinseltown and all its works in their César awards at the weekend.
Despite dominating the foreign language category with Billy Elliot and American Beauty, the British fared little better, although the actor Charlotte Rampling did pick up a prize for her contribution to cinema.
The biggest winner was Le Gout des Autres (The Taste of Others), a beautifully written tale of mismatched couples, which won four awards, including best film just ahead of the thriller Harry, He's Here To Help, for which Sergi Lopez won best actor. The best non-French film was In the Mood for Love, Hong Kong director Wong Kar-wai's take on David Lean's classic story of thwarted love, Brief Encounter.


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Federal Highway Administrator Mendez Helps Launch Smarter Highways on I–5 in Seattle
SEATTLE - Federal Highway Administrator Victor Mendez joined state and local officials today for the launch of Smarter Highways on I-5, a high-tech traffic management system that provides drivers real-time traffic information on lane conditions.
Washington is one of the first states in the nation to implement this active traffic management system. It is expected to improve safety, reduce collisions and help relieve congestion by automatically alerting drivers to changing road conditions. It will also give drivers advance notice of incidents on the road ahead. In addition, the state patrol will enforce speed limits posted on the electronic signs.
"Improving people's lives by getting them out of congestion and to their jobs and homes safely is one of our most important goals," said U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood.
Smarter Highways is part of the Washington State Department of Transportation's congestion relief program, "Moving Washington," which will make highways more effective and prepare I-5 for increasing traffic demands once the Alaskan Way Viaduct project is under construction.
"This technology will improve the quality of life for those in the Seattle area," Administrator Mendez said. "Real-time information on road conditions can help drivers with decisions that will ultimately make their commutes more manageable."The project cost is $23.8 million, $17.5 million of which is federal funding.
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Class discussions and activities emphasize active use of the language in different situational contexts including professional discussions, interviews, cultural exchanges, debates on current topics, etc. The course has two distinct goals: (1) to expand the vocabulary related to environmental issues, as well as the ability to read, analyze and discuss articles on said topic; and (2) to present an overview of environmental issues and questions in the Hispanic countries today. Students will engage in vocabulary-expanding exercises, review of advanced grammar rules as needed, individual and group presentations, writing and speaking assignments related to the most current environmental issues today.
- Subject:
- Spanish
- Department:
- Language & Intercultural Study
- Division:
- Transltn, Interpret & Lang Edu
- Requirements Fulfilled:


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Set of 4 Delft Scroll Studio Clips
Blue and white, crisp, clean. Perfect for hanging prints or postcards, bundling bills, or as a little gift!
Etsy has everything, from modern to vintage in art, jewelry, clothing etc. I can spend hours browsing the links and shops of individual designers and entrepreneurs. I receive inspiration each time I visit.
pretty colors, contemporary patterns...and your own combination! have fun picking your own set...for a gift, or for yourself. these are the perfect treat. handmade. set of 5
Back in stock. Treat yourself to a really unique and artistic calendar this year...it's never too late to add a bold, fresh accent to your home or office!
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I like recording my life, and there's nothing better than an original notebook!Tags: books, art, office, modern, DIY, decor, Contemporary, handmade, stationeryAdded 10 Years Ago from Etsy


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Note: Selecting "No" will opt you out of receiving leads for Kids' Birthday Parties. You can always update your settings for this and other event types in the Profile tab by editing Event Type Selections.
Wedding photographers are essential for every ceremony & reception. Choosing a wedding photographer, however, can be a time-consuming process. Here you'll save an enormous amount of time by searching our vast database. A few clicks and you'll find great wedding photography now!


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Journalists arriving early for the European Commission's daily midday briefing Monday caught a once-familiar figure in the press room: Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, the former German defence minister who resigned in disgrace earlier this year after it was revealed he plagiarised his doctoral thesis.
The aristocratic zu Guttenberg , once widely tipped as a future German chancellor, was in Brussels at the invitation of Neelie Kroes, telecoms commissioner, to work on an anti-censorship initiative targeted at dictatorships blocking parts of the internet.
"This is not a political comeback," zu Guttenberg insisted, on what looked a lot like the first step of his political comeback. Read more


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WILBERFORCE, William
'On the Horrors of the Slave Trade'
- http:/
/ www.bartleby.com/ 268/ 4/ 8.html#txt1
...An abridged version of Wilberforce's speech before parliament on May 12th, 1789, in support of the abolition of the slave trade.
- http:/
/ justus.anglican.org/ resources/ bio/ 214.html
- http:/
/ www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/ REwilberforce.htm
- http:/
/ www.brycchancarey.com/ abolition/ wilberforce.htm
- http:/
/ www.christianitytoday.com/ ch/ 53h/ 53h012.html
...Includes a discussion of what Wilberforce called the "two great objects" in his life: "the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners" (i.e. of the nation's morality).


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One of our members posted this promo (he shot and edited) for a performance at the Queens Theatre in the Park and it looks A-MAZING. The original score, cast, and set design look destined for Broadway and while tickets are still available, once word gets out about this, they may be hard to come by.
From their website:
In the tradition of Rent and Spring Awakening comes an exciting Broadway-bound musical by Indie rock sensation--and Queens native--Lourds Lane that tells the story of one young woman's journey to find strength from within. With a cast that includes two "So You Think You Can Dance" finalists, an award-winning creative team (Beowulf Borritt, David Gallo, Chris March of "Project Runway") and a dazzling original score, the touching story, multimedia wizardry and electrifying music will captivate the eye, the ear, and the heart.
Click here to purchase tickets
Performance Schedule: Tuesday-Saturday eves at 8pm; Wednesday & Saturday mats at 2pm, Sunday at 3pm
Views: 131


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I haven't been this surprised since that gal turned out to be a guy in "The Crying Game."
MSNBC resident schoolsmarm Rachel Maddow is full of surprises, isn't she? Just the other night, she said something that surely had Americans across the nation spitting out burgers, beverages and baby food (video clip after page break)
Maddow was describing President Obama's proposal to consolidate the Commerce Department and five other bureaucracies to eliminate -- ready for this? -- 1,000 jobs over the next decade through attrition. That's a whopping total of one hundred jobs a year, folks -- out of a federal workforce of 2.1 million employees.
After telling her audience how she has "a crush on NOAA" -- I kid you not -- along with the postal service, NYC subway system and -- again, no kidding -- Amtrak (Maddow and Michael Dukakis comprising the sole members of its fan club), Maddow said this about Obama's apparently not-so-obvious election year ploy --
Now, I don't know how the people at NOAA feel about potentially moving. I don't know about how all those various offices and their public servants feel about being reorganized like this. But from the outside looking in, this sort of reorganization does seem rational. At least the idea is, right? Shrinking and streamlining government to make it make more sense to the people who need to use it to get stuff done.
Yikes, what a mouthful. Wouldn't it be easier to say shrinking government makes sense? Especially now when it takes fully a quarter of our GDP to feed it, nearly that much in percentage terms above its pre-crash norm of 20-21 percent going back three decades.
OK, so it isn't quite Maddow parroting Reagan from his '81 inaugural -- "In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem." Even so, it's a start. As the old Jedi saying goes, every journey of a thousand light years begins with a baby step.
Predictably, Maddow could not accurately describe how GOP leaders responded to Obama's bold plan to whittle government --
Republicans, naturally, have no idea what to do with this development. Republicans have been so busy screaming that President Obama must shrink government, so busy alleging that he's maniacally devoted to growing government whenever he can, that now that he is trying to shrink government, they've reacted by being sort of suspicious and not happy but they're not sure why they're not happy.
House Speaker John Boehner's spokesman released a statement today saying, "Given the president's record of growing government (Maddow adds here, "Not sure what he means there, they just use this as an epithet"), we're interested to learn whether this proposal represents actual relief for American businesses or just the appearance of it."
Sorry, Rach -- that wasn't an "epithet," this is indisputable fact. Uh, weren't you just saying that streamlining government makes sense? Maddow then cited Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's reaction through a spokesman -- " ... after presiding over one of the largest expansions of government in history, and a year after raising the issue in his last State of the Union, it's interesting to see the president finally acknowledge that Washington is out of control."
Here's Maddow on McConnell's response --
Mitch McConnell's spokesman put out a statement calling this development "interesting" but still accusing President Obama of growing government -- while he's proposing shrinking it!
Once again, Maddow confuses accusation with actual fact. All in dutiful service of a president who considers Maddow a soulmate, schmoozing with her more often than any other left-winger in media, The Daily Caller reports.


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Looking for admissions, majors or financial aid? Visit our Admissions Site.
No. 2 Grand View (12-0) will host No. 5 Morningside College (11-1) for an intrastate rivalry this Saturday, Dec. 7, at Williams Stadium in Des Moines. Kick-off is set for 1 p.m.
*Grand View University students, staff & faculty are FREE with identification! Come out and fill the stands as Morningside will bring a big following of their own!
The winner of Saturday's game advances to the NAIA Championship game held December 21 in Rome, Georgia.
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Do You Know What You're Up Against?
Introducing ROBO Advisors
ROBO Advisors are websites that generate automated financial advice online. These "Do-It-Yourself" sites are popping up all over the web. ROBO Advisors threaten to disrupt the way financial planning and advice are provided to your clients.
This new video makes a vivid case that qualified financial advisors know their clients' needs and goals far better than any computer program. Professional financial advisors use technology to enhance their expertise, not to replace it. The result is personalized financial advice that puts the advisor – client relationship at the center of the equation.


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The design of upright piano mechanisms plays a crucial role in the quality of their performance. Kawai have created a range of mechanisms, utilising composite parts including carbon fibre, which give their pianos a superior touch. Combined with high quality materials and manufacturing standards, Kawai upright pianos reproduce the standards of tone and touch established by their renowned grand pianos.
Prices range from R55 000 for the K-15 upright piano to R155 000 for the K-800 upright piano.