text:
The Assault
Driven Out
20150227: The rest of the story–>.
"Shh. Someone might hear. Don't talk about that."
This has several purposes. One is so that people stop asking, "What happened that year, why was it so bad?" Another is because there is no reason to shush this—discussion is even discouraged at the personal level, as if this was some kind of blackmail people would have on me. To demand reporting but hush up conversation of it, to dismiss its effects? No, that's contradictory. Thus, this is public because things aren't personally acceptable until the idea that the topic is shameworthy—and therefore useful as blackmail—is removed.
The final purpose is that I want answers.
I should state that I'm obviously going to be discussing topics generally avoided in even personal conversations. How badly do you want to know? Enough to override the conventional social judgment that some things shouldn't be discussed? That people shouldn't be allowed to control their own personal information, to decide what to talk about when it's their own lives they're discussing? Nobody else is identified, so the assholes discussed herein are free to continue insisting upon whatever twisted version of events they have chosen. You can always stop reading, you know…but what if my problem is your problem, what if it's the same kind of problem someone you care about has? Wouldn't you want to talk about that, wouldn't you want to know, so they can get help? So that you could get help?
If you're in the category of people who asked for such personal information—you did ask, right, or do you not really care about the answer? And if you don't care, why ask such a personal question?
I have a dirty little secret. You probably have one just like it. Want to trade?
A lot of things happened in my 2011. Social convention says I'm not supposed to talk about it. Silence doesn't help, especially when people keep asking, and won't respect "privacy" and "no". I understand why they don't respect it; I don't approve, but I understand. If you still want to know, here it is—it's neither pretty nor simple.
Do remember that there's never a good time to state something potentially damaging. There's always a reason to "not do it", there's always "something I can't disrupt" or "something I can't risk". There's always a "better" time to wait for.
That "perfect" time doesn't exist. And there's no such thing as "bury it".
In this era, people want to know your personal life because that can be found out at any time, and that life supposedly "reflects" upon every other aspect of the person's interactions. Whether that reflection is a true measure of character or merely idiotic perception is irrelevant. People concern themselves with it, and thus it has undue power.
Disappointing, isn't it?
Are you thinking of your own dirty little secret, of how much it could ruin you?
Do you have multiples of them?
The way people think the world works is that you always know whom you can trust, who would never gossip, who would wholly accept you…but that's not how it works. Were that the case, you'd have to know before it happens that a person will gossip, that a person will talk. Not even the most secretive cults and organizations can claim that one. You'd have to know beforehand if someone would do that; but you'd not be friends with such a person if you knew that–so then, why did you tell them? Because you didn't know.
In short, you'd have to know about it before it happened—you'd have to be psychic. No, not psychic, that only allows knowing the current state of things; you'd have to be omniscient, to know how everything to come will play out, to know that—with all the uncertainty between now and years from now—the person with this knowledge won't ever change their mind or encounter a situation that challenges their decision to tell.
Their decision to treat you badly.
Isn't it scary you can't control other people, can't predict them to that extent, no matter what you do?
That kind of omniscience does not exist.
Or you simply don't ever talk about your "uncommon" activities. Simply don't talk about your problems.
Do you really want to live like that, never asking for needed help, bottling it all up, never having the advantage of knowing how other people fixed similar problems? Never knowing that things can be fixed, that they aren't supposed to be this horrible?
I don't.
Knowing full well the danger they're putting you in, people won't stop asking for your secrets. Because information is important. It's important because it changes our decisions, because it changes our judgments.
I find it incredibly interesting that being badly judged and having done wrong bear very little relationship to each other.
Perhaps this is why there's so much denial and blame going around these days; if it doesn't exist or can be foisted off on someone else, a "problem" or "embarrassing hobby" can't hurt you.
…but if everyone does that, nothing will change. There won't be "problems" because everything will be "fine", so those problems won't get fixed; and those "embarrassing hobbies" will still be sneeringly judged, so nobody will allowed to freely pursue them. That's not okay.
Have you ever been outed? Did you deny it?
This kind of climate results in people not talking about anything even slightly out of the norm or anything with even a slight shadow of risk to it. I don't think that's a healthy society. Breeds fear.
If you support that kind of thing, or think the following account is simply daily life to brush off like rainy weather, you're not company with whom I would willingly associate. It's sad that few people remember that friendship is two-way, that their wanting to be friends doesn't mean you want to be friends with them. It's sad that companies don't remember that an interview also means the applicant evaluates the company, not just that the company makes a singular decision on employment. Simply because one person is interested doesn't mean the other is. Too few remember that.
Did you rage quit yet? This is not accusatory. It simply states observations and asks for an explanation, for thoughts on the matter.
Creeped out yet? As in, unsettled, like there's some kind of amorphous threat brushing against your psyche as you read this? Nah, nothing will happen to you by reading this. You might lose your sense of security and trust in justice. But according to "common wisdom", you'll get over it. Right? That's just how the world works and we all need to get used to it. Shush, protesting makes a scene, and we can't have that.
Not at all.
The point of this is that I want to know what happened. Not with the people involved; that's finished. I know their interpretation of these events "differs" from mine; I know some events they've flat out lied about to protect themselves from the same disaster that befell me. I have the documentation that they've lied. Documentation is a lot of effort to go through, so I won't bother unless they're willing to publicly challenge me on it.
No, I don't want to talk to the people involved. I know what they think. I want to know what was going through the minds of the administrators at Carnegie Mellon to cause them to make the decisions they did. They got this same set of events. I have my own speculation on what the administration believes; I want to know what others think of the situation. You'll see why I want to know what the fuck they were thinking.
In the interest of putting my money where my mouth is, let's talk about what happened during spring of last year.
Late February, 2011. Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh campus. Campus dorms, a weekend night. A friend drops me off from another friend's place where we'd just finished a slew of movies and one of those dancing video games. It's winter; I'd usually walk back, but it's cold and snowing and slush is icky. As happens when lots of students and recent grads live near each other, I'm texting other friends who are out that night. Most of my friends know I'm up late in general, on weekends doubly so.
At this point, it's 2:30am, and because I know it'll be asked, no I was not intoxicated—three of us had a dinner party at 8pm that night, and perhaps 3 mixed drinks in those six hours, with the last done at the beginning of the final two-hour movie. (Thanks again for hosting that, it was all quite delicious. Partially because I didn't cook it myself.) Anyhow, my level of alcohol doesn't particularly matter; you're not supposed to play with people who are intoxicated, because such people do not have the capacity to think normally. Unless, of course, you get prior consent that playing with them while they are not fully aware of their activities is okay. And that's the rub, ain't it?
This friend whom I met at 2:30am at my dorm, after leaving my first group of friends, was quite intoxicated. Mobile, but not in a state you'd ethically let walk home themselves. Especially not with the wonderful winter weather we'd been enjoying that week.
We're talking, exploring various music artists online, nothing I'd do out of the ordinary. Because people will ask, what's my "out of the ordinary"? Everyone, including this friend, who knows me is well aware that I'm one of those physically affectionate people—if we're friends and you're okay with it, I'm going to hug you a lot and generally be touchy-feely. I'm also okay with people being the same with me, as it stood then. Everyone also knows none of this is flirtatious, it's definitely not sexual, and it's neither intended nor taken as such by either person: we're all quite frank about this point—because nonplatonic is a delicate area and not something I take lightly.
If I'm wanting more than a platonic relationship, I have said and will always explicitly say so. Because I don't like misinterpretations.
None of that should matter, though. It's permissions in the moment that matter, and if you aren't sure of your welcome, always ask. Simple. And if you can't ask, you really shouldn't be doing anything—can't ask, both in the sense of you can't say the words and in the sense of they can't give you a reliably conscious response. The kind of conscious consent that you'd be allowed to conduct scientific research upon them if they consented—which rules out intoxicated states and sleeping people, because neither can give fully conscious consent. And if you don't get an affirmative, if they later want you to stop or it appears something is wrong, I'd suggest stopping.
Back in the dorm, I decide I want to sleep. I tell my friend he can either stay the night with me—lots of friends have stayed overnight with me; it happens when people live offcampus or just don't want to walk home, and this particular friend has stayed with me before. It's around 4:30am. He decides to stay with me. Peachy.
Somewhere around 10 to 10:30am (I know because I catch a glimpse of the clock in the mayhem), I'm pulled partially awake. I'm incredibly difficult and unpleasant to wake up; anyone who's tried will attest to this fact. This is that state of not-awake-but-aware where you remember what's happening but can't control what you do, like watching a movie. Have you ever woken up and rearranged yourself in that half-aware state, operating on autopilot, to fall back asleep almost immediately? This is one of those states.
I'm curled up on the edge of the bed. I don't know what it was that pulled me awake, but I do know he's kneeled over me with hands on either side of me. I have the sense he's trying to move me, and I know I've just smacked something into the wall–his hand, his head, I don't know—but whatever it is, I later find my hand is bruised from the force of hitting the wall. I shout, "NO!" He says something with the gist of, "That wasn't the reaction I expected. At least let me put you back where you were so I don't feel as bad." That is said as I am rolling myself to the other edge, into the wall that flanks the bed on that side and curl up against it. All of this happens in less than five seconds. At this point, I am fully asleep again.
I don't know what it was that partially awoke me. I don't know what happened outside that five second interval and flash of him over top of me. I don't know why he said what he did, I don't know why he was trying to move me. No, this was not a dream; all similar experiences to this type of semi-conscious state have all been real, and you don't get multiple sensation in dreams—you don't get the feel of sheets on your fingers, you don't get your hand hitting the wall, you don't get the warmth of curling up around yourself while your skull is pressed against a wall. You don't get all that with the feeling of someone else's weight creating that bend in the mattress that tells you exactly where and how they're sitting. You know that feeling? Ever had that in a dream? Ever had that, with all the rest simultaneously, in a dream? No, I don't, because it's not that specific. That level of detail is only in physical life, not a dream reality my mind creates.
What the hell was that?
No time to think, there's more.
Let's move forward in time. When this next bit is over, it's 12:30pm. I know because I looked at the digital clock. Giant red numbers, can't miss them. I don't know when this event sequence started or how long it lasted. No, I can't give an estimate. I do know what started it, and I do know what happened. I do know it is real.
Sometime after the semi-awake scene, I snap awake. Dead asleep to hyper aware in an instant.
What did it?
It was a hand.
Up my shirt. Under my shirt.
His hand.
Groping my breast.
My brain: WHATTHEFUCKISGOINGONIDONTUNDERSTANDWHYISTHISHAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, primal fear. The kind that makes deer stare at oncoming headlights and bunny rabbits' eyes widen when they think your incoming hand is a hawk. The kind that makes people afraid of spiders and heights, afraid of so many things. It's called paralyzing fear for a reason.
The following runs through my mind in a few seconds after I snap awake—not as worded thoughts, more as taking stock of knowledge:
You see, two weeks prior, he and I had the conversation about friends and relationships and sex. It's not a problem that the conversation happened; it has to happen if anyone is to express interest in someone else. Being the frank person I am when it comes to these things, I flat said I did not want to be anything beyond platonic friends. I reiterated that I am physically affectionate, that such affection means absolutely nothing in terms of "more than friends" and should not be taken as such. I also said that if my keeping on with that wasn't okay, I'd stop. And that, unless I specifically said I wanted a romantic/sexual relationship, nothing I did was to be taken as romantic or sexual interest. Finally, I said that if my declining a romantic relationship/sex was a problem, I'd understand if he didn't want to be friends anymore—I'd had that issue with a few other people who couldn't let the idea go or weren't comfortable after being declined; it happens, it's okay. I told him to let me know if anything changed. I make sure the possibilities are covered, that there's no judgment so that no problems are hidden, and there are no misunderstandings.
Nothing needed to change as a result of this conversation. Minus adding romance or sex, the situation was left up to him. This is because, as long as people don't keep pushing at it, I'm generally still comfortable in the relationship after such questions come up—which isn't true for everyone, hence why I usually leave it up to the other person.
As far as I was aware, we'd been clear on being platonic and we'd been clear on boundaries, interpretations, and communications. Clear as in I straight up said the above, not in those exact words but on that level of frankness.
I've had two incidents happen, including this one, across all of my relationships. This is two out of hundreds of people. The first isn't a factor here.
I don't know what happened between that conversation and the hand up my shirt that led to him thinking this is okay. It isn't okay. It. Really. Isn't.
This isn't one of those accidents or experiments, where someone brushes against you in the subway or you're trying out new sex moves with your partner to see what you do and don't enjoy. This is obviously sexual in nature, and this is obviously far outside where I'd drawn my boundaries. There isn't just a lack of "no" for this—I was asleep at the time and woke up to it; I treated this person no differently than I do any of my other friends—there is a clear Do Not Want stamp on this groping that's being ignored.
I'd explicitly told him I didn't want anything sexual, remember?
It's that last part that's terrifying. It's bad enough when people don't bother to ensure your agreement before involving you in some activity—at least then there's a possibility of miscommunication although that's usually not the case. Here, I'd gone out of my way to say "Do Not Want", to say that I would explicitly state if I changed my mind—which I never did, never said.
I now know he's ignored me once when I've said "no"—I know this because he's got his hand up my shirt groping my breast in a highly sexual manner, after I've clearly said I didn't want that. There's absolutely no reason to think he'd stop now if I said no.
Because that didn't stop him now, when I'd said exactly that before, did it?
All of that flashes through my mind as I snap awake. As my body reacts to the fingers pinching my nipple and the hand squeezing my breast, my back arcs up, I twist as I fall and land half- curled in a fetal position—I'm pinned against the wall from the previous incident, otherwise I'd have fully balled up instead of only half. I'm in that shocked state of panic where you don't actually feel the fear, but you can taste the metallic adrenaline on your tongue as it floods your body.
My eyes are still closed. He doesn't know I'm awake, despite the reflex reaction to being groped. I don't even want to think about what could have been going on before I woke up.
I'm facing him now. I don't know why. Because the wall is on my left, and it was my left breast that was grabbed, and in an unconscious state the idea is to move away from the direction an attack come from? I don't know. Higher brain function doesn't exist in sleep, and it doesn't exist in crisis situations. The point of training for martial arts and ER people is to make action innate so they don't have to think, so it's another memory powerful enough to override the naive responses of the body. To override the fear so thought is possible.
I've frozen. I know he's not going to stop if I say no, I know that a physical fight will only do damage to me and gain me nothing but injury. What would a fight do, anyhow? Its purpose is to get away or incapacitate the attacker… Ha. The odds of me accomplishing that are laughable. And even if I had a fighting chance, would I have done it? Would I have fought someone who was supposed to be my friend?
Remember what my brain yelled when I woke up—the "WHATISHAPPENING!". I didn't believe what was going on, right on top of me. If a friend turned on you, would you immediately condemn them or would there be that moment of doubt, that moment long enough to say "what the hell is going on". Would your fight response kick in if the friend moved slowly enough to not startle you, or would it only kick in if it was a fast move?
How do you know, unless you've been in that situation? And how can you even compare one situation to another?
So we've got this guy's hand groping my breast. He keeps at that for a while, I don't know how many repetitions, then his hand meanders down my chest, across my abdomen…towards my vulva. Amplify the previous fears by I don't know what factor, and log that as a confirmation of my thought that things would get worse…that he wouldn't stop if I asked.
Because it's bound to be suggested, no, this isn't my hand. This isn't an episode of dissociation, where I'm either dreaming this or I don't recognize it's my own hand. How do I know? The fingers of the hand, the palm of the hand, sits on the top of my breast, with the thumb underneath it. That is anatomically impossible to do to yourself, but absolutely possible for someone facing you to do. I know because I actually had to do that experiment to prove to myself that this actually happened, that it was real. Sure, anatomic impossibility is possible in dreams, but again—not to the level of detail that was aware of. Try focusing on the dream details in that jacket you wear, the tiles in your dream floor, and it'll fall apart—it's not possible. Count your fingers, even. You can't do it.
Why did I doubt it, why do I even have to go through those state checks?
I didn't have these words at the time all this happened. The description for the feelings, for what was going through my head, didn't come until far later. The only thing I had then was the fact of what happened. And because I didn't understand what happened, only knew that this set of events happened, I doubted it. I doubted the reality I had lived; despite stating what had happened to friends and others, it didn't seem real. I couldn't accept that a friend would do that, would completely disregard not only getting consent—but completely disregard my explicit rejection.
Isn't it terrifying to realize that you can't control other people, can't predict them to that extent, no matter what you do? Isn't it terrifying that you actually can't know whom you can trust?
Traumatic experiences make a person realize just how fragile the world is, just how easy it is to manipulate the basic trust that society depends upon to function.
You wouldn't know it…but that was the start of doubting a lot of things. I trust very few people; I see liars and mind games everywhere. That I realize I do this doesn't stop me from thinking it; it merely forces a painful recalibration of whom to trust and whom I cannot. No, it's not as easy as "trust me, I'm your friend"…..he was too, remember.
His hand is moving toward my vulva. Stops at the top of my pajama pants, right above my pelvis—all my pants sit low cut due to a quirk of anatomical genetics, unless I feel like wearing them Spongebob Squarepants style tucked up right beneath my bra.
That stop is actually more like a pause, just a brief hesitation. Time seems to be slowed down; that kind of perceptual skew happens when your mind kicks into high gear.
Brief hesitation. Do I try to block him, do I continue playing dead? Not much time to decide….
I blend the two choices. Slowly bring my knees in closer to me, as if I'm rearranging myself while I'm asleep. This effectively blocks access below the belt, unless he wants to use physical force on top of emotional trauma and manipulation.
Was it his aim to force this encounter? I don't know. Does the arsonist always aim to set the building on fire, or is the fire sometimes an accident? Does it matter when they ought to know better, and damage is done either way? Does it matter when, in either case, the actor needs to learn not to do that? That it isn't acceptable? If it was force, that's being cognizant of what you're doing—I was in fact asleep, and I did in fact explicitly say no. If it wasn't force, if things seemed okay to him, why stop when it became slightly more difficult to reach my vulva? Why not continue? It wasn't an impossible task, he'd just have to reach a little farther around my leg.
Ya know, if he wasn't okay with being just friends or wasn't okay with the physical affection when I didn't want more than platonic friends, it was entirely acceptable for him to say so or to walk away—I'd stated those as options. I trusted him when he said he could handle keeping things the way they were, I trusted him when he said he understood that I didn't want romance and sex. I trusted him when he said he understood that I would explicitly say if that changed, and that nothing but explicitly saying "I want more" was to be taken as "signals". I said no. What the fuck happened?
He trails his hand back up to my chest. As if he were giving me a caress, no less. This starts the cycle of massaging my breasts and pinching my nipples, and circling back across my abdomen. This continues for I don't know how long. I lay there in the same state I've been in since the original fear, emotions, and thoughts were amplified by the hand trailing towards my vulva.
Finally it stops. There's a short pause. He leans in and kisses me on the forehead. He leaves.
I stay where I am for another I don't know how long. When I get up and look at the clock, it's 12:30pm. I don't feel anything yet; I've always been good at blocking things out. I have yet to recognize that it was fear and not just cold distance that was beating through me as all this happened.
I go about my week of classes. I don't say anything for a week. Not to say it's off my mind, I just don't say anything. It still doesn't feel real.
But I know it is, at least intellectually, even if I can't accept it on any other level.
Towards the end of the week, I ask this guy what happened. Twice. Both times I open with asking about whether I did indeed slam something against the wall. Both times he says no. Both times he says nothing happened, that all that happened was I was asleep and so he left. No mention of everything I know happened.
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
If everything seemed okay to him, why tell me nothing happened? Why tell me he did nothing but leave? I didn't say I was asleep the whole time; he'd have to have known that himself. Did he think it was okay and then figure out it wasn't; did he do this on purpose, knowing I didn't want it; did he do it on purpose and figure out I knew, and thus denied it?
It has to be one of the latter two because I specifically said no. There's no way to get around that. He's the one who said he wanted to keep things the way they were; I'm not responsible for how he interprets things, especially not when I've said not to read them like that.
Why do we shush these things when this isn't so easy to parse out? When education on these topics would actually prevent these things from happening?
Do I think it was malicious? No. I think he took something the wrong way, despite all of what I said, to think that this was actually okay. Why do we assume things, instead of checking up on those assumptions? Especially when this is the result of those assumptions?
Why don't we educate people about these ambiguities?
Nothing happened.
I'm already doubting this at every level but the intellectual. I know that doubt will only get worse. The day after last asking, I tell some friends what happened. It comes off highly cavalier because I can't allow myself to feel it yet.
He's online when I tell a few friends what happened. They want me to tell him off, but I can't do it. I don't know why, I just can't. I can't, so I hand them the keyboard and they do it for me, telling him they know what happened, that he's got people who don't like him on the campus, and to stay away from me.
My friends and I go out to dinner.
[I have since obtained CMU's documentation of these events, acquired more information, and had time to better process things. A more complete account of the next section is posted here: Their Names .]
By the end of that semester, much more had happened.
In late March, I reported what had happened. It took a few weeks to get a response out of CMU, and in that time I find out that one of the people I'd originally told of the assault had been laughing at me behind my back on the basis of my inability to cope.
I already lost a lot of my basic trust in people because of the original incident. Do you really think this extra bit of fun did no damage?
I found that out, and this person decided to shift from hiding it behind my back to overt toxicity and bullying. Deliberately setting off my PTSD despite being told to cut it out. Despite breaking and stealing my stuff—this person was my then-roommate, you see. Despite telling other people intimate details about my assault, which not only is harassment in general but also was specifically banned by the meeting with Student Life and is listed as harassment under Title IX. Under Title IX [PDF], that's harassment whose remedy calls for removal of that person from the victim's environment—meaning they have to leave, not me, because burden on the victim is supposed to be minimized. Meaning this is a violation of standards of conduct.
CMU didn't see it that way. Must not have read the letter they got that spring, long before any of this happened. I filed a formal complaint on the person; they not only didn't bother acting upon that, but also CMU flat out said it was not harassment. One of their Title IX coordinators told me that. Then suggested I have some "mediation" with this other student to solve this "problem". I was later informed the discussion the administration had with the other student consisted of chatting about ethnic cooking instead of my formal complaint.
That's not all they talked about.
My harasser said I was jealous, because she was dating one of my good friends at the time, that I was jealous of the time she got to spend with that friend. That I was jealous of her body, that I wanted to look like her. All of that stems from the fact that I wasn't on board with her dating that friend, because that friend had been in a closed relationship at the time….and her breaking up the relationship meant that she would be disregarding this person's partner, who was a mutual friend of ours. Classic love triangle; roommate likes a taken person, and we're all friends with each other. If they want to cheat, that's up to them—but I'm not going to stand by while the person who's cheated on is left out to dry. I wasn't on board with that happening; I said that should this move forward, I would have to tell my friend's partner that they were being cheated on.
This was called betrayal. This was warped into jealousy. Of course, the fact that I stood by my friend's partner was left out of the equation. What probably happened was that it was changed into a "they broke up, they were on a break and that's when we got together". Easier to rationalize that way, no cheating involved, no questionable values.
My charge of harassment was pinned on trying to get back at her because I was "jealous". Said I made it all up. CMU believed her.
Seems I'm quite the storyteller, making up something new everyday.
Still think I should try to bury this and not talk about it?That there's nothing of note going on, that there's nothing worth pursuing?
Roommate, I know you'll learn that this exists. You've enjoyed telling all kinds of people about what happened to me, without even the justification of "this is why we're not friends anymore." Are you going to let everyone know these details?
Most likely you won't. It doesn't jive with your perception of the world. Your perception of yourselves.
I heard what she did. Her new romance backed her up.
I laughed and walked away from them both.
What else can one do in the face of such blatant disregard?
Take a look at page 5 to see what kind of effect not bothering to protect harassed students has: it means that students who report their assaults—or accidentally reveal their names to those they seek help from, due to mandatory reporting—won't be protected from harassment. Who's going to seek help, to report, when they're not guaranteed protection?
When they already believe there's no one who's going to treat them well because of what already happened?
Oh, and it turns out that the evaluation of whether harassment has occurred is supposed to be impartial. It just so happened that the person harassing me was the significant other of the the evaluator's favorite student employee. Objective indeed.
I didn't know my Title IX rights until this fall. You'd expect a place as highly reputable as Carnegie Mellon University to get those correct, wouldn't you? Without prompting?
Apparently not. Know your rights, people. You're expendable when keeping things quiet is at stake.
So yet again I get to watch promises of safety crumble. Nice reinforcement for the "lesson" of my assault, yea?
It gets better, though.
I left our dorm in mid April, and later that night I had to prevent a friend from committing suicide. I have the texts as proof that this friend actually told me she had taken steps to go through with it. It so happened that my harasser was also involved in this situation, which made things a trifle complicated. The prevention was a success, but it ended up including the campus PD for reasons that aren't applicable to this account.
When I was called down to explain the suicide situation the next day, I found out that both my friend and my harasser denied that anything had happened, that there had not been any danger. Having previously dealt with the wonderful intelligences that administrate CMU, I understand why denial was chosen. I myself wouldn't have mentioned the incident to anyone else had circumstances not forced that call.
The problem with their denial is that the campus PD now has three situations with conflicting reports in which I am involved: the assault, the harassment, and this averted suicide.
Do you see how easy it is to take advantage of someone?
I didn't out my friend on the lie. It wouldn't have changed anything, not when the both of them were denying everything, not with my "track record" of "making things up". The text proof would have been called a "dramatization", that "all kids under stress claim to want to kill themselves because they want the attention". I would have been "overreacting". The PD had decided the situation before I'd said anything; the two denials had already been interviewed before me.
It shouldn't be hard to guess what the PD did.
They flat out asked if I fabricated the assault. I was told I was wasting their time by one of the head people. They also asked my friend and my harasser—former roommate, remember—if I'd made up our dorm robbery the month before. Yea, that happened too, and my roommate was even there for that one—there, and at a time before any nastiness happened. My roommate was the one who called it in. FUN!
Nothing is real, huh? It's not that hard to get people to believe fake memories are their own. It's not that hard to accomplish the flip, to make people question the reality of their own memories. Especially when said reality is being questioned by so many people. Everything else equal, it's quite easy to discredit someone; once the initial label is set, that's the end of it, that's the track that will always be taken.
Such a lovely environment. I can't rely on the campus PD for anything because they think I fabricate everything.
I told the CMU administration about that incident. To my knowledge, they did nothing about it.
I also found out that my harassing roommate claimed a counter charge: that I had threatened to kill her. This came about because—remember the friend I'd stopped from committing suicide?—I'd talked to that suicidal friend earlier about the harassment. This friend said that there wasn't much left to be done except, quote, "beat her ass". To which I replied that, not only would I not do that, but given the obvious sheer physical differences between us I could conceivably kill her with very little effort regardless of intent to do so. Statement of fact, it was; it's like saying that, when a chicken is harassing a fox, the fox could fight off the chicken—but if the fox did so, that chicken would probably be dead.
I have proof that my friend said this. Confronted with that, said friend tried to deny it, claiming that the statements the cops had on file—written in her own hand—"must have some mistake" in them. This person had told me previously that she'd stood up for me and denied I'd said such a thing when my harasser claimed it.
Great manipulator, except when people talk to each other.
In related news, I found out this fall that CMU either believed my assaulter that it wasn't assault, thought I made it all up, or that CMU didn't follow their Title IX obligations when investigating the actual assault. I was explicitly told I couldn't know what was carried out as discipline; Title IX explicitly says I have a right to know, and that if necessary I can sign an NDA.
Of course, that's in addition to the harassment by my roommate they didn't acknowledge. And it is entirely perplexing why I would not be informed about the outcome of the decision on this case, not only the discipline but also the determination on whether this was or was not assault. Never got the obligatory written decision on that.
It's also quite interesting that I was not informed of the academic possibilities at that time. The administration was supposed to tell my professors about all of this, so I wouldn't have to go through all of that several more times; they didn't do that either.
I went and did it myself; they helped me out. I tried to finish the work, but I just couldn't. It was too soon, and it was all tied up with everything that had happened. I didn't have the emotional control over those ties to get the work done. It's the nature of PTSD.
Had I known I could academically wipe everything from that semester, I'd have dropped most of the classes. I was told the following fall that I "would have a pretty strong case" to retroactively drop my classes from that spring.
Which isn't the same as the guarantee laid out in Title IX.
It's almost as if nobody wants to acknowledge that spring happened. Why would I believe I'd get those wiped from my record based on a "strong case", when that's what I thought I had with the administration with the harassment and assault in the first place?
I failed most of my classes that semester. The following fall, things were going well until the middle of the semester–in one week, I ran into all my idiots from previous semester, had a bunch of triggering topics in my classes, and generally had a shitty week. The hardest to deal with is when you think you've got a handle on it, when you're sort of okay….and then it all comes crashing back, as if some ant hill god needs to make sure the lesson to never try, because it'll all just be destroyed, is branded onto your neurons.
Most people wouldn't be able to tell what was going on. Nobody could, except those I'd told myself about what was still going on.
Why did it still bother me "so much later"? Think of it like this: a person who is "normal" can withstand a negative event if they have support, because they know this negativity isn't how the world actually is. A person who has a huge negative event and doesn't get that support for whatever reason settles in the idea that the world sucks, and that this fact is not changeable. The mind's job is to learn; this is what I learned. Read this again for why I learned that. As for why not many people knew what was going on in the beginning?
Shush. We don't talk about that.
Would you tell more people when the first set you'd told had turned on you? Would you believe they, even if they wanted to help, wouldn't eventually turn on you too?
I failed my classes that semester too. And because of the treatment from spring, and because I didn't know that spring's classes weren't supposed to count against me, I was slammed with a suspension.
Successfully fought that off. Why did I fight it? Because I was fine until outside forces, namely everyone who wished me ill from the previous semester, popped up again. One of those wouldn't leave me alone. I shouldn't suffer for the activities of idiots over whom I have no control. Whom I'd told I wanted no contact with, and who had clearly ignored that statement.
The administration asks that I go to them for help if things seem rocky, so that problems can be addressed. I'm okay with that.
Into spring 2012, a year after all this began, things are going okay again. But I'm in one class from that previous spring that I can't deal with. The project I finished for that class when I took it the previous year was a direct result of my assault. I can't focus on the lectures, I can't focus on the work. The physical is easier to heal than the mental, and even that isn't demanded to heal this fast. And we don't even know how to heal mental wounds.
I fail any of these classes this semester, I'm going to get suspended without option to appeal. Such an interesting consequence for having gotten assaulted and being disregarded.
So I talk to the department head to ask if there's anything I can do to get help with the class.
Says no. There's nothing that can be done. I tell her the problem is that the class is triggering. At this point I still don't know about the academic provisions of Title IX.
Still says no, there's nothing to do. Either I do it as is or I get suspended.
I go home. Stare at the walls for a while. Why bother doing any of the classes when I'm just going to get suspended anyhow? Why bother doing anything when, clearly, trying gets me nowhere and people keep smacking me down when I need help? Even when they've said they would help?
Why bother, when I can focus on taking care of myself and trying to convince myself that it really is worth it to try, that some people can be trusted?
Because knowing the mechanisms of warped thinking doesn't mean you will always recognise what your mind is telling you is wrong, doesn't mean you'll believe what it's telling you is wrong, doesn't mean you can stop acting upon what it's telling you. Because it's your own mind thinking it; why ever would that be wrong?
It's what I study. But knowing isn't the same as being immune to it.
Sounds like an extreme conclusion; it is. Remember, though, that what I lived through was pretty extreme—and the brain's purpose is to learn from its experiences. Especially bad ones, so that they can be "prevented" from happening again. The worse the experience, the farther seared into your mind the lesson is. The harder it is to recalibrate—and the catch is that you don't know what needs to be recalibrated, and what you should keep. Because it's your own mind thinking these things.
The lesson my mind settled upon is that nothing can be trusted. If nothing can be trusted, there is no reason to do anything, because nothing can be accomplished without outside help. Because anything you can accomplish will just be destroyed.
Doesn't that sound reasonable, given what happened over the last year?
My professors this spring tried to help. My friends whom I'd told later on tried to help. It just wasn't enough to counter the seared brand of "not worth the effort".
That's the account. I'm going to be suspended starting this summer. As of typing this, only a handful of people know that. Only a handful of people knew some of these events; only I knew them all.
Now everyone who cares to look it up does. This is no longer a threat.
Revenge? No. Revenge accomplishes nothing but to continue the cycle of violence and hate.
There are consequences for actions, though.
This should not happen to anybody. It should never be repeated. But shhhhh we don't talk about these things. Right?
I'm through being told to "let it go". I'm done being told to deal with it and cope. This isn't something to "cope" with. It's not about coping with being denied dessert. This is something that should never happen.
I'm going to talk about it, whether or not you think it's appropriate to talk about.
Because it's not going to be fixed until we do talk about it.
I ought to make clear that I did get support, that I do have friends and family supporting me. The issue at hand is this climate that says we don't talk about any of this, that when I asked for help from the people who were supposed to help me—who had promised to help me—they told me "tough luck" or betrayed me. Those people who could have helped me, who should have helped me, were the administrators at CMU. They're the ones who had the power to stop the people who harassed me, they're the ones who had the power to put these things to rights.
But they didn't. And now, the chain of reaction is that I'm not graduating, that I'm getting suspended for what was begun last year.
Because the administration decided that I made it all up, decided that Title IX should be selectively applied. I don't know exactly how many other students have had things like this happen to them; I do know other such events have occurred. I know because those who have suffered have told me so. But their stories are not mine to tell.
How many suicides does CMU not tell people about—and how many could have been prevented? How many of those are due to things like this being brushed under the carpet? How many of the dropouts, the transfers, the suspensions are due to things like this happening?
How many other problems are students hiding because they know what happens when they ask for help?
How long until those students break, how long until one of them decides to handle things a little differently than I have?
Carnegie Mellon administration, why do you do these things?
For those of you who know more than I've said here: I'd suggest recognizing what I've deliberately left out of this account, and why I would do so. And what more I could have included, could have made relevant, before anyone reading thinks I've deliberately skewed this to present these people in the worst light possible. And the things I went out of my way to leave out, because they are not relevant to this account. Think about that, and then decide whether this is a fair accounting.
**Update: People are dismissing this on the basis that it is one side of the "story". Silence goes both ways, people. Do you really think the other side—the people who treated me badly—are going to admit fault, much less come out and publicly say, "Yes, I assaulted her, bullied her, called her crazy when she reported my attempted suicide"?
Do you automatically call "liar" on everything you read, or only when you can't envision people actually being capable of the atrocities listed?
You know, you can always contact CMU and ask. I have no problem with that; you all know who I am.
14 September 2012: Final statement from CMU
Over the summer, I had several meetings with CMU's Title IX director/the Vice Provost of Education and the Dean of Student Life. Support for my future time at CMU is in place; and, to the extent possible, issues in the past have been corrected. Discussions based on what had gone procedurally wrong, such as that everyone I'd talked to during the last year assumed I was still in contact with Student Life despite that not being the case, are in process to fix those kinds of cracks so that similar events don't happen again.
Prior to these discussions, I had not known for certain whether the assault I'd reported was indeed viewed as an assault by the administration–I'd never gotten clear confirmation of that. Sure, I could interpret that this was implied–which was what I'd done in the email of May 2nd mentioned below–but that's a hazardous thing to do, hence wanting an actual statement on the matter. I now know that it is viewed as assault by the university. Legally, I'm not entitled to know what happened to the person who assaulted me as I had originally thought; that was a misinterpretation of the language in the "Dear Colleague" letter on my part.
The incident with CMUPD during my friend's suicidal episode, wherein I was accused of being a "waste of time" and "making it all up", is being internally handled.
I also know that what my roommate and other friend did is still not viewed as harassment by CMU. The rationale I was given for this is that they are not the people who assaulted me; had my assaulter done the same behaviors they did, that would be called harassment. This seems rather odd, given that it's the behavior that's the problem, that has the detrimental effect, not who does it. Certainly who engages in it makes it worse, but that's akin to saying that you'd be more devastated if a family member threatened you than if a random stranger did it–you're still shaken, there's just the extra degree of betrayal with the former as opposed to the latter.
As stated in my previous post, the fact that their behavior isn't viewed as harassment is a dangerous standard, both for general harassment cases and especially in the context of trying to get people to report sexual misconduct so that the victims can get the help they need. "Ignoring" such behavior doesn't stop it.
This is the email detailing the above, minus the suicide event as that was handled separately and minus the rationale behind the lack of recognition for the harassment which had been discussed in one of the meetings:
I posted the email above because it was the one of primary interest in resolving the problems from last year. It's the current status of my case; I've gotten support, and I've gotten details on the administration.
In the time between then and now, many more cases similar to my own–in that a sexual crime was shushed by a campus administration–have surfaced. There have been many before mine, as well. There will be more after this.
This isn't only about "fixing" what can still be fixed. This is about what goes on behind the curtain. This is about what's promised to you, the student and their family, when you mail in your acceptance letter to a college. In making that commitment, you promise to them that you'll appear in the fall to take your place in class, that you will pay whatever balance on tuition that is owed, that you'll be an asset to the school. In turn, they promise to you supportive services: some kind of campus PD, tutor services, housing help, protection from other students causing harm, etc.
You take their support for granted, that they will be there and will be helpful should they be needed.
It's a lie. And if you do wrestle support out of them, don't expect it to be what was originally promised.
Take CMU's final statement as an example. This is the message thread leading up to it. Again, I was always quite clear in saying I simply wanted what had been said to be written down. Apparently this was a difficult task. I don't know why; writing down what was said simply means that conversation can be cited, removing disputes about what was said. Should be a good thing.
Each of the points on the first page, in my first reply, are what was stated by CMU in those meetings I had with them during the summer:
- They repeatedly told me that they considered last year's events to be sexual assault.
- They repeatedly said that what the two harassers did was not considered harassment by CMU under any of its policies, nor under any federal policies. They were quite willing to state that this is purely because those people weren't the person who assaulted me, and that if my assaulter had done such things it would be considered harassment.
- I was informed that I hadn't done enough to inform the administration that I was in need of help. Therefore, I asked for details of what more I ought to have done in the previous three semesters because that is useful information both for me and for other students, to prevent this disastrous situation from happening again.
It took the exchange of another six emails over ten days to finally extract a written statement of their position on the above issues. Unfortunately, the fact that CMU wouldn't give that to me upon first asking for it is quite troublesome. Kind of makes you think that what they say and what they do are two different things, or that a lot of what the administration says behind closed doors isn't acceptable behavior.
But hey, nobody will call them out on it, right? Because the students in this kind of position usually have no options left, and will take whatever they can to either make the mess go away or to just get out. Because, if you're arguing with an administration, they can hold your enrollment over you. That's a powerful bargaining chip. And with the knowledge you've already nearly been kicked out because of other people, it's not paranoid to think there'd be another reason conjured up to revoke enrollment should you speak out again. You know, the whole "don't poke the bully, you're asking for it".
Let's dissect the word art in CMU's replies.
CMU repeatedly says they're committed to being helpful in the future. You know, like they claim they'll be helpful in the brochures. In their policies. I have zero reason to believe that, given that they won't even acknowledge what was said in all those meetings we had. Their final statement doesn't even acknowledge that an assault occurred; all it says is that I reported one, that it was investigated, and the investigation was closed. There's nothing there about the conclusion, and I've never gotten any written, explicit statement acknowledging that. I've gotten plenty of spoken statements to that effect, but not yet a written one.
I find that interesting.
In the first update on this post, I said that I know they consider this to be assault. They did say it. So what's the issue with explicitly writing it down? That little thing has been avoided since last year. It's been a year and a half. Is there a problem with acknowledging that an assault happened? Or is the problem that we've acknowledged there was no support where there should have been, and documenting the assault means CMU screwed up?
It's worth noting that CMU doesn't acknowledge their statement about harassment; it's reduced to being "disputes". As for why the "who" mattered so much in determining if it was harassment, CMU never could–or would–say. It was always along the lines of, "We understand your objections, but this is how the policy is." This, even after they full well knew that I was perfectly functional in fall 2011, until my harassers showed up again. Which was the end of being functional until this semester. *Edit: I probably ought to add in the following irony: research taught and done at CMU backs the exact opposite approach to bullying and supporting harassed students than what the administration has taken. Namely, that it is not a "simple dispute", especially given that this case is layered over an assault.*
To cap it all off, they pull a complete 180 with their statement on the previous semesters: from "it's your fault you didn't get help" to "greater coordinated support could have been provided." Nice to know. Are they actually doing anything to fix that for the students who will need that this year? Or is that phrase just more pretty word art? After all, they'd not have made that 180 had I not kept pushing for a written summary of our meetings. They'd pinned the lack of support on my supposed unsatisfactory indication that I needed assistance. Yet they didn't want to give me that summary…
I don't trust the administration. Remember, this has happened here before, has happened elsewhere, and will keep happening.
This isn't just about my story. You're part of this too. Friends in college? Family? You?
Do you trust your administration to be there when they said they would be, to keep their promises?
29-Oct-2012.2: Working list of desired administration changes
This is the working list of items I'd like to see in place in the administration:
- Just as freshmen are required to take an alcohol and drug education module, a sexual harrasment module should also be required. CMU has already created that module, and already offers it to students on a volunteer basis. The language is currently geared more towards faculty; to fix it would be touching up parts of the examples. If the module isn't suitable as an educational tool, it could be edited. Perhaps the whole school could take it when it is first implemented; after that only the freshmen would need to take it, as it is with the alcohol program.
- peer support system, a very rough idea based on the reddit.com forum.
- "rehab lessons" for perpetrators. Work in progress, ought to look up what's been used in research. Could have them take the harassment module again.
- If it's not already included, sensitivity training for PD on assault and suicide response. Refresher courses, as this is easy to forget and easy to bungle when it's not often used.
- Have more options than "immediately committed" for suicidal cases. I don't know if that's a law more than school policy; it's one reason why people are afraid to ask for help.
If anyone wants to contribute or modify ideas, comment here or email me.
2013/9/30: Because this is likely to happen to a lot of other people, and they're just as likely to have no idea what to do, take a look at Know Your IX to figure out what you need to do, your options, and how to file complaints for both Clery and Title IX violations. You shouldn't have to deal with people claiming that not knowing what to do means you don't care, or that it justifies their not caring.
2014/4/10: It seems that some of the dismissal is based on the idea that this has an angry tone to it, and therefore this is done out of some desire for revenge. That sentiment, plus the particularly blunt question of "what's the point?", both betray the same attitude: you can't be angry at an attempted rape, you can't be angry when you're kicked to the curb for reporting it, you can't be angry when the system that's supposed to correct the crime turns on you and protects the perpetrator. You're supposed to smile and swallow it. And if you do that, of course that's taken as evidence that there is no problem, because you'd be kicking up a storm if you were actually hurt by it, so therefore it must not have been a rape—you must be making shit up for revenge to ruin his career and so nobody would find out what a whore you are, you lying little bitch. And further, you can't be angry when people summarily dismiss you and do nothing, because that again means you're just a vicious self-centered bitch looking to raise an army to carry out your vengeance. All in all, the point here is that the pervasive belief on the CMU campus is that anyone who suffers a sexual assault is only getting their karmic comeuppance, because clearly they're a vicious bitch. My harassers' behavior was excused as being nothing more than that of spoiled brats; few actually called it harassment. It's no wonder: most of the campus would have done the same things they did, if only they had the opportunity. They aren't about to name themselves as the vile creatures they are. Mob mentality excuses the most horrific of acts. Atticus Finch and Scout could tell you all about that one.
Whether it's by your parents, an adult, or a child of the same age, abuse is still abuse. Parents and authority figures just have more ways to abuse a child than said child's friend does; it's far more obvious when parents and authority cause abuse than when a friend does it. Same way that a thief only needs one way into your house, even though they'd love to have more choices. Your shit's still stolen, a crime still happened, no matter how many ways it could have happened.
Did you notice the circular logic used to justify what a bitch the victim is? Did you notice it's the dismissal that everyone needs to justify, and it was decided she was a bitch *after* they decided to dismiss it? Yes? Maybe you won't use the same logic next time you hear about someone being raped, about a case being swept under the carpet. Maybe you'll accept that bad things happen to good people, that this isn't a just world, and maybe you'll even wonder whether a crime against a "bad" person still counts as a crime—and then wonder why "she deserved it" is such a common phrase in rape cases. Did you notice the circular logic?
2014/4/10, #2: Some people have urged me to take this down because, they argue, it will "hurt my chances with employers". It's good to know you'd like me to buy into the same system that created this situation in the first place. And that you too support that system. Did you not even read the title, let alone understand anything said here? I wonder whether that kind of false support and retaliation will show up elsewhere. It has previously, there's no reason to think it won't again.
2014/5/12: As predicted, false support has popped up again. There's some kind of mini campus "outrage" over the list of colleges with federal Title IX charges filed against them. These students knew how corrupt the administration was years ago; they knew exactly what was going on. Look at the date on this post for chrissakes. They even knew about the federal charges months ago—those were filed back in December by the ACLU over yet another abysmal case. So why are they only now taking notice? Why now and not months ago?
You know why. Bitches make things up, you can't possibly trust them. Your friends wouldn't rape someone, they wouldn't harass someone–this bitch must have asked for it, she must deserve it, she must be exaggerating. But wait–there's a federal investigation? The Department of Education isn't dismissing the charges? Oh Em Gee, the inhumanity! Did you hear about the corruption in the administration, how they're not supporting rape victims? Yeah, can you believe it? Hey, dude, check this out–did you hear what this bitch said about your boyfriend?
You know how the logic goes.
You can't be outraged at the administration without also believing the "bitches". You can't claim to support the rape victims without believing them, which means you believe your friends are capable of rape and harassment. That's what's required if you actually want to help, and not just add a line item to your CV. Cognitive dissonance is fascinating.
2015/1/21: This isn't over. It's merely been silenced.
2015/02/06: Family has said that rape is what happens when you invite boys into your bed, despite having stated your boundaries. Don't trust your friends, because all men are rapists. Don't ever assume you're safe because that's how men are. Every single man you ever meet is entitled to rape you. Yes, all men.
It's interesting that we claim all bitches lie about being raped, but at the same time we tell women that they should have expected it because all men rape. It's like we know we're not talking about consent. We know we're talking about justifying a crime. If this was any other crime, it would be called corruption.


text:
Missing Pages / Posting Permission
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2007-09-10 11:32 Post: #1
When not logged in, I can see all of the forum pages. When I log in, there are pages missing at the beginning and end of the threads. And when I try to post, I get something about permissions. What's up?
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2007-09-10 23:13 Post: #2
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text:
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HELIO-STROB tripLED – the high-performance stroboscope for industrial applications
ELMED Dr. Ing. Mense GmbH extends its successful HELIO-STROB series by another light intensive LED stroboscope, the HELIO-STROB tripLED. Designed for industrial applications and quality assurance, the device can be used both with mains and...[leggi]
UV stroboscope for the monitoring of security features
ELMED extends the range of possible applications to the UV-A spectrum by adding the HELIO-STROB UV365 to its successful HELIO-STROB series. Thanks to the UV LEDs the stroboscope can make fluorescent security features visible in the running...[leggi]
Turkey – Presentation of the ISOTEST on the BORU Istanbul 2015
From 26th March to the 28th March 2015, the 9th edition of the BORU ISTANBUL was held at the Istanbul Expo Center. The 3 day event is one of the most important fair covering Turkey and surrounding countries and represents a unique meeting platform...[leggi]
ISOTEST® holiday detectors on the Manufacturing/Machine Tool Indonesia 2014
The exhibition "Manufacturing Indonesia" and the "Machine Tool Indonesia" are the established, international meeting place for the region's industrialists to see and compare the latest manufacturing technology from around the world. This year's...[leggi]
IPLOCA Convention 2014
IPLOCA, the International Pipe Line and Offshore Contractors Association, provides a forum to all those engaged in, or affected by, operations and works in the pipeline industry, i.e. contractors, pipe manufacturer, service and machine suppliers...[leggi]
ELMED Stroboscopes presented on the FEBRATEX
FEBRATEX – the most important Brazilian exhibition for the textile industry. - is for more than 20 years of international significance, when it comes to the newest machines, materials and technologies for the textile industry. The 14th...[leggi]
Stroboscopes for Industrial Applications
The name stroboscope is composed of the Greek words strhόbos 'meaning "whirlpool" and skopein, meaning "to look at". Stroboscopes are precision measuring instruments used for contact-free measurements of rotational speeds or...[leggi]
ISOTEST act P2 - The new in-plant holiday detector for FBE as well as for 3-layer PE/PP coatings
Additionally to the well-established portable holiday detectors ELMED Messtechnik GmbH now also offers a stationary holiday detection system, the ISOTEST act P2, for the automated testing of coated pipes. Especially developed for the testing of...[leggi]
SlimLine Spring Electrodes – larger pipe diameters – more reliability – less weight
Product NewsThe new generation of test electrodes, especially for the pipeline construction, allows the economic testing of pipe coatings according to rules and standards, even under the rough conditions on-site. Before burying the pipe, the...[leggi]
Brief review of the 28th Oldenburger Rohrleitungsforum 2014
The 28th Oldenburger Rohrleitungsforum 2014 was again a big meeting point for the experts in the pipe construction sector. More than 3000 professional visitors have found their way to the "Mecca of pipeline construction". This year again, the...[leggi]
Servizi a Rete Tour
On 11th and 12th September 2013 the first edition of the "Servizi a Rete Tour" took place in Padova/Italy. For the Italian market the "Servizi a Rete Tour" is held in a new exhibition format: beside a conference area where technicians are invovolved...[leggi]
Cippe 2013 – ISOTEST holiday detector inspires at the 13th China International Petroleum & Petrochemical Technology and Equipment Exhibition
China International Petroleum & Petrochemical Technology and Equipment Exhibition (cippe), has attracted more than 1,500 exhibitors and 50,000 professional visitors from 62 countries and regions around the world. With a magnificent...[leggi]
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ELMED now expands its product portfolio by the latest product development of the HELIO-STROB industrial stroboscopes series: the new LED stroboscopes HELIO-STROB micro2 – coming in October 2012.The HELIO-STROB micro2 comes with the latest...[leggi]
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In order to provide the left-bank parts of the city with environmentally friendly district heating in the future, a double pipe connection between the power plant Lausward and the left-bank customers of the Stadtwerke Düsseldorf (public utility...[leggi]
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From 22nd May to 24th May 2012 the international trade fair Balttechnika 2012 was held at the Lithuanian Exhibition and Congress Centre LITEXPO. Main topics of the fair were industrial equipment, energy, electrical engineering, components, measuring...[leggi]
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From 23rd to 25th May 2012 the 11th International Exhibition of technologies for the treatment and distribution of drinking water and wastewater treatment, the Accadueo, was held in Ferrara Italy.Since water is now mankind's most precious...[leggi]


text:
The Not Just Ned exhibition developed by the National Museum of Australia features stories and objects which document more than two centuries of Irish transportation and immigration.
About half a million Irish men, women and children left their homes to begin the long sea passage to Australia between 1788 and 1921, when Ireland gained independence. About 12 per cent of these people made the journey in the hold of a convict ship.
Stories featured here include Irishman and First Fleet surgeon-general John White, colourful pickpocket and later police chief George Barrington, Young Ireland rebellion leaders Thomas Francis Meagher and William Smith O'Brien, the convict women who made the Rajah quilt, and pioneer chaplain Charles Beaumont Howard.
Image Gallery Page Navigation
Page 2 of 2
Stained-glass window, 1836
Stained-glass window from temporary church 1836. Holy Trinity Church, Adelaide.
Immigration: Pioneer chaplain
In colonial South Australia, Irishman Charles Beaumont Howard was known as the friend of anyone in trouble or distress. Howard was South Australia's 'colonial chaplain', an Anglican clergyman who battled to establish his church in the Adelaide bush.
Sent out with Howard on the Buffalo in 1836 was a temporary church. However, several weeks of attempting to conduct services in it after he arrived at Holdfast Bay, Glenelg, quickly proved it useless.
And so, in the extreme heat of late January 1837, Howard, assisted by the colonial treasurer, dragged a handcart and sail 12 kilometres through the bush to the site of the new city of Adelaide. There he erected the sail under a tree for shelter, surrounded the structure with tree branches and rushes from the coast and held Adelaide's first Anglican services.
Howard's greatest monument is Holy Trinity Church, which he opened in 1838. But in the Holy Trinity Church collection is an object that perhaps better symbolises Howard's pioneering efforts. It is a small stained-glass window, intended for the temporary church from the Buffalo, and decorated with the letters 'WIVR' (standing for the reigning monarch, William IV) and the date, '1836'.


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Mauviel M'Passion Copper Sugar Saucepans
Serve cheesecake desserts and ice cream sundaes topped with your own home-made caremel sauce made with the help of Mauviel's Copper Sugar Saucepan.
Its beautiful copper construction makes it ideal for carmelizing sugar by providing even heat distribution that prevents clumbing while your sugar melts. Its uniqe conical copper handle gives it extra character, while the built-in pouring spout makes drizzling your desserts with sweet, sugary goodness even easier.
Simply add water to dry sugar in your new copper saucepan and stir until it reaches a sandy consistency, add lemon juice or vinegar to prevent crystallization, and heat your mixture over medium heat until the caramel reaches the desired temperature and consistancy. With Mauviel's M'Passion Copper Sugar Saucepan, your homemade desserts and sauces are sure to take the cake.
- Copper sugar saucepan
- Ideal for caramelizing sugar
- Copper construction heats efficiently
- Even heat distribution melts sugar without clumping
- Conical copper handle
- Handle is secured with copper rivets
- Pouring spout
- Hand washing recommended
- Limited lifetime warranty
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Technology these days is moving fast – we've said arrivederci to those clunky, brick-like mobile phones and dial-up internet is a mere, frustrating thing of the past.
For many Australian teenagers, having your own laptop is viewed as a necessity and not the luxury it would have been viewed as during the long-gone era of family-shared computers.
And to add insult to injury, a new study has shown not all teenagers are willing to share their online activities, least of all with their parents. Mike Worsman joined Tim Brunero in the studio to discuss this and all of the other latest stories, coming from Our World Today.
Producer: Lisa Burns


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Three Legs Are Better Than TwoIt was almost two months ago that gunblogger Hsoi discussed purchasing a walking cane with an eye towards self defense. His concern was to acquire a sturdy cane that would be useful in combat, but which wouldn't break the bank. I thought this was a noble goal, and decided to conduct some tests to help those similarly inclined.Although a significant number of my students were elderly, and would use canes to get around during their day-to-day routine, I really can't endorse a cane as a self defense tool for those suffering from reduced physical capabilities. Hand-to-hand combat is always physically intense, requiring an enormous expenditure of energy for both attack and defense. Although it is possible to take your attacker unawares, and incapacitate someone who is physically larger, stronger and more fit with a single well-timed blow, I would never bet my life on it.Although, as the picture illustrates, I would certainly trust my students to prevail against smaller vermin if they are accosted by them in the street.So using a walking stick for self defense requires some muscle, and that would require the stick to be sturdy enough to stand up to some punishment. An entire cottage industry has sprung up where companies offering martial arts supplies and training weapons also sell canes and walking sticks specifically designed to weather the stresses of combat. The problem is that most of these canes carry a very hefty price tag. Considering that the vast majority of my students were dirt poor no matter what their age or physical condition, this would just not do.And so the criteria of this fact-finding mission was to test a variety of canes or walking sticks that could be had for little more than $30 USD. They would have to be tough enough to be used for self defense without breaking, as well as being easy to find and acquire. Off the shelf as opposed to hand made specialty items.Cheap, effective, and common. Is this even possible? It certainly is! Read on to find out more than you would ever want to about walking canes.The first thing I considered was one of retention. Criminals are just like anyone else in that they don't want to be on the receiving end of an ass-whuppin'. That means they will usually bide their time and only target people they are convinced can be easily overcome. It is extremely likely that someone will be forced to face a criminal who is larger and stronger than they are. And, if they do, what is to prevent the criminal from trying to snatch the walking stick from their hands?With this in mind, I rejected straight sticks out of hand as being too easy to be pulled from someone's grip.Although the cane pictured is stylish, sturdy, and even features a knob at one end to increase the force of a strike, I still cannot recommend it for the casual user. There just isn't enough to hold on to if there is a tug-of-war.Instead I suggest something with a bit more for the hand. There are two popular styles to choose from. The most common is known as the "tourist style", and it features a crook that will be familiar to just about everyone.The second is a cane that has a handle set at right angles to the shaft. These are named according to the shape of the handle itself, with the most common being the derby, fritz, or cosmopolitan styles. The picture below is of a cosmopolitan style cane, which is the simplest of all the right-angle grips.Okay, so I know what style of canes I wanted to try out. But where to find the canes? My first stop was the nearest Wal-Mart.I found a fairly large number of inexpensive canes, all ready for immediate sale. The majority were aluminum, adjustable with the push of a button, and equipped with extremely puffy grips to provide comfort while gripping. They came in a variety of styles and utility, with a smattering of wooden canes for those who preferred a traditional walking aid.The problem was that all of these canes did not suit our purposes. Oh, don't get me wrong! They were technological marvels for helping people with limited mobility and iffy balance get around. But they were all too light, too well padded, or too flimsy to be seriously considered as a self defense tool. It would appear that I had to look elsewhere.Where do you look if Wal-Mart lets you down? The Internet, of course! I decided to order a few canes from two websites, and see how they stacked up. The first place I turned was The Promed Warehouse, an online store where the inventory keeps changing. Near as I can figure, they are a clearing house for inventory overruns from other places, which means you have to strike fast if they have what you want because after what they have on hand is sold out, it is gone.And this is where I came across another problem. How did I know what I was buying? Just about all of the reasonably priced wooden canes were advertised as being made from "hardwood", but it was clear from the pictures that they were constructed from rattan. Although the wood from those particular palm trees can certainly be used for self defense, I was unsure that the cheapest canes would stand up to any significant force.Still, I would never know unless I tried one out. So I purchased a "Standard Hospital Cane" made from wood, and another cane made from clear lucite, both of which were in the tourist style. They arrived in less than a week. and the first I tested was the artificial cane, which I purchased on sale for $32 USD.The only real problem I had with the clear lucite cane was in my attempts to photograph the thing. It is amazingly invisible, and tends to fade into the background.I eventually hit on the idea to set the cane against a far background, and let refraction bring out the edges.It worked well enough, but I would caution anyone who chooses a clear cane to keep careful track of it. Lean it against a wall while shopping, for example, and you probably wouldn't be able to see it very well if you step even a few feet away.Canes of this sort are also offered in a variety of colors, from disco pink to jet black. It could be that something a bit more colorful would better serve.The lucite cane was heavier than the wooden version, weighing in at 1.78 pounds (0.8 kilograms). It had a very nice heft, and felt solid and substantial in my hands. While banging it against a tree in my back yard to test for durability, I could tell that it was flexing slightly to the blows. This had the effect of damping down vibration, making it a not uncomfortable self defense tool. Even though I increased the force of my blows against the tree until I was employing a two hand grip to swing with all my might, I never managed to even mark the cane. It seemed to be impervious to anything I could do to it.The balance was off a bit, which is understandable considering that the cane was designed to help people with mobility problems instead of those with mugger problems. The crook also takes some getting used to, running against the wrist during a strike until you either get the hang of holding the cane so the crook doesn't get in the way, or where you just get used to it and start to ignore the distraction.The smooth lucite also had an almost greasy feel to it, a sensation that increased the more I whacked the tree and the sweatier my palms became. This slippery surface means that the crook is vital in order to keep control of the cane, but it also means that the criminal will have an almost impossible time of pulling it out of your grasp. Just make sure that the rubber tip on the end of the cane is secured with brittle glue, so it will pop off if the bad guy tries anything.Chris, a good friend of mine, suggested using sandpaper to roughen the surface of the cane in order to provide a better grip. This would work, but it would also scratch up the lucite so it would appear milky and cloudy. Although I have never cared how pretty my self defense tools looked, I know that aesthetics are more important to other people.The second cane I tested was marketed as a common hospital cane, purchased for $11 USD, and it was supposedly made from hardwood. It was obvious that rattan was the sole wood to be found in its construction.This cane weighed in at 1.5 pounds (0.68 kilograms), which seems to be the industry standard. It felt slightly better balanced in my preliminary warm up kata, and it gripped better in the hand than the lucite cane. I was expecting good things as I wound up and gave a medium-hard blow to the vine-covered tree I had chosen to represent a violent criminal.One blow and apart it came, as Yoda would put it. Obviously, the cheapest canes you can buy are totally unsuitable for self defense.The second place I turned to for my cane needs was WalkingCanes.com. There was an unfortunate glitch in my purchase, where one of the products I ordered was out of stock and the shipment from the factory was not of the same type. But, even so, the good people at Walking Canes did not rest until I was fully satisfied. Great customer service, and I strongly urge you to buy from them because they are very responsive to any questions or concerns you might have.Another plus is that they will cut your cane to the required length, something which the medical supply website wouldn't do. I do have to give a caution, though. The glue WalkingCanes use to affix the rubber tips on their products is extremely durable, and it is almost impossible to pry the tip off. This is great if you are suffering from reduced mobility and don't want to chase down bouncing cane tips as they come loose from the end of your walking stick, but it could prove to be bad if a criminal tried to snatch your cane away from you during a violent attack. You want the tip to just pop off in his hand, so he is off balance and wondering what happened as you dance the funky chicken on his head.My suggestion is to simply request that the cane be sent to you with the rubber tip unattached, and then you can use common household glue to affix it in place. I'm sure they will comply.One of the two canes I purchased was an extra heavy scorched Chestnut cane.It weighs almost exactly the same as the lucite cane mentioned above, although this is variable since the cane will be cut to your specifications. I did find that the balance is better, and it is a very broad cane. If you have rather large hands, then this might just be what you need to get a decent grip.The Chestnut cane not only weighs about as much as the lucite cane, but it also performed in a very similar manner. I could feel it flexing as I slammed it again and again into the tree, sparing my hand from excessive vibration. But, although it held together without complaint even as I swung with all my might into the unyielding bark, the walking cane did not shrug the pounding off without any visible damage.See it? It is right there!Start at the bottom. Rubber tip. Then a knot. Then a few inches of smooth wood before you get to a second knot. A few inches above that second knot is a smudge, a light impact mark!So slamming the cane into the tree as hard as I could produced a smudge. Not bad, not bad at all. Just not as good as lucite.The other cane I purchased from WalkingCanes was a Cosmopolitan style nylon cane. They called it an Opera style, but it is the same thing.The word "nylon" just refers to the handle, as the shaft is constructed of some kind of wood. Don't ask me what type, as I don't know, but it weighs in at the industry standard of 1.5 pounds (0.68 kilograms). It performed as well as the Chestnut cane during the torture tests. The smudges don't show up against the black finish, but I can feel little divots in the wood where I slammed it into the tree.The nylon handle weighs almost nothing, so this cane has the best balance of them all as it feels almost exactly like a straight haft of wood. The Opera style handle doesn't get in the way as much as the Tourist style crook, but is also provides less to hold on to if the bad guy grabs the cane and tries to pull it out of your grasp. If you favor a martial art that focuses on speed instead of power, then I would suggest you try this sort of cane. It would be easy to whip it around, while the heavier canes with a crook would be best for very forceful blows.CONCLUSIONJust about any cane will do for self defense, except for the extremely light aluminum canes and the extremely cheap wooden versions. The most impressive to me was the lucite cane, but your mileage may vary. I would strongly suggest you choose an online seller of walking sticks who offers free sizing, and only use common household glue to attach the rubber tip. A Tourist style cane featuring a crook, or an Opera style cane with a handle set 90 degrees from the shaft, are best when the violent criminal tries to wrestle the cane from your grasp.
...while I don't agree with everything he did here, I think he's put more thought into it than most people do, and for that, "BRAVO SIR!"
HWhile I'm aware that cost may be an issue, a cane is a NOVELTY SD tool at worst and at best it's very much an incognito one. Other choices such as a firearm, taser or even pepper foam (I dislike the control of pepper spray) are better choices for primary SD.
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Biology 252: Environmental Animal Physiology
Class Description: This course explores the physiological adaptations animals employ to survive in a wide variety of environments. Animals maintain physiological functions in the face of environmental extremes in heat, cold, aridity, deep ocean pressure, salinity, and the lack of oxygen in water or at high altitude, to name a few. An organism's ability to cope with environmental extremes has a large impact on the geographic distribution of many species. Associated laboratory will emphasize experimentation and application of physiological concepts in living organisms.
Watch/Download Full Video (Flash Video 134.6MB Sep2 09): 35:23 min
Class Video
Course Goals (Flash Video 20.9MB Sep2 09) (5:31 min)
Matt describes how his course design helps students focus on the body's systems and how those systems interact, in the hope that students will begin to think like physiologists.
Illustrating Lectures (Flash Video 14.1MB Sep2 09) (3:45 min)
Matt explains how he uses different work spaces in his presentation of classroom material, including the benefits and disadvantages of different technologies.
Provoking Critical Questions (Flash Video 11.6MB Sep2 09) (3:03 min)
Difficult and thought-provoking questions emerge as vital part of Matt's pedagogy, as he expects students to engage his presentations with active and critical thinking.
Creating Emphasis (Flash Video 17MB Sep2 09) (4:30 min)
Matt discusses the strategies he uses to highlight especially important concepts in class and to create emphasis with engaging examples.
Snake in a Bag (Flash Video 11.4MB Sep2 09) (3:01 min)
Matt reveals the power of "show and tell" in creating memorable associations with course material in a classroom setting.
The Shape of Class (Flash Video 10MB Sep2 09) (2:38 min)
The overall "shape" of a typical class can enhance learning by providing students with useful contexts for both specific information and broader concepts.
Lab & Research Expectations (Flash Video 20.7MB Sep2 09) (5:27 min)
Matt explains that term-long research projects enable students to experience how scientific data is generated and how new research questions are generated.
Watching Yourself Teach (Flash Video 26.5MB Oct12 09) (6:58 min)
Matt reflects on his experience of watching his own teaching—the energy required and the difficulty of "reading" student responses in class—as well as his own growth as a teacher and the challenge of turning mistakes into a learning opportunity. The joy of discovering new things to share with students is at the heart of Matt's passion for teaching.


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My computer has a 200 GB hard drive. What's GB stand for? What's a MB? How much data can my computer hard drive hold?
If I asked you how many ounces are in a cup, you would be able to say that there are eight ounces in a cup and that would be it. And it should be that way for your hard drive question, right?
In a perfect world. We're talking about computers, remember?
Let's start with a list of prefixes:
kilo = meaning 1,000. (one thousand)
mega = meaning 1,000,000. (one million)
giga = meaning 1,000,000,000 (one billion)
tera = meaning 1,000,000,000,000 (one trillion)
So in answer to your question: GB is short for Gigabyte. MB is short for Megabyte. With a 200 Gigabyte (GB) hard drive, you have 200 billion bytes of data storage. If you had a 200 Megabyte hard drive, you have 200 million bytes of data storage.
Except that you don't. You actually have more. (Huh?) Here's how and why.
A byte (which stands for "BinarY digiT Eight.") is a way to measure data storage. The first computers could only send 8 bits of data at a time, so it was natural to start writing code in sets of 8. Eight bits of data then became known as a byte. (By the way, a bit is represented with a lowercase "b," whereas a byte is represented with an uppercase "b" (B). So Kb is kilobits, and KB is kilobytes.)
Computer data is measured using the Binary Code System (counted by factors of two: 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, etc), but the prefixes are based on the metric system! Hard drive manufacturers decided it would be easier to just go according to the way the metric system is supposed to work and – rather than give the exact amount of data storage – decided to round the numbers off, hence 1,024 bytes became 1,000 bytes.
Here's the low end of the data measuring scale:
1 bit = a 1 or 0 (b)
4 bits = 1 nybble (which is ½ of a byte, meaning that two nybbles equal one byte (well, it depends on what you're byting)
8 bits = 1 byte (B)
(Note that the very lowest measurement of data storage that a computer can recognize is a bit.)
And here's how the scale progresses:
And more:
A couple of FYI's:
All of the hard drives in the world combined do not add up to even one Zettabyte.
No computer in the world has yet to achieve a yottabyte of data storage.
So really – how much data can your 200GB hard drive hold?
You do the math.


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Spats cast pall over Japan imperial anniversary
By Isabel Reynolds
TOKYO (Reuters) - Emperor Akihito marks two decades on the Japanese throne on Wednesday, but the anniversary is set to pass quietly given the poor health of the royal family that some officials blame on internal squabbling.
The 20th anniversary of the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito, comes a few weeks after Akihito, 75, canceled his annual birthday news conference and other official duties due to high blood pressure and intestinal bleeding.
A senior official said Akihito was believed to be stressed over the future of Japan's monarchy and disputes with his eldest son, Crown Prince Naruhito, prompting recriminations between officials from the two households.
But some experts say the problems facing the imperial household go beyond the succession and reflect a gulf between the idealized image of the institution and its reality.
"Imperial Household Agency and East Palace (Naruhito's residence) at war" said one headline in the weekly tabloid Shukan Shincho after officials weighed in on both sides.
"Over the past few years, I have noticed that he constantly seems to be anxious about the various problems facing the imperial household, starting with the succession issue," the head of the Imperial Household Agency, Shingo Haketa, told domestic media last month when discussing Akihito's condition.
Haketa went on to list issues he said were causing friction, from concern over Naruhito's own health, after he was treated for a polyp, to doubt over who was overseeing treatment for his ailing wife, Crown Princess Masako, local media said.
Other officials pointed out that Masako had also been hurt by speculation over the cause of her condition, media reports say. Continued...


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BRIEF-Novagold Q2 loss per share $0.03
* Novagold reports 2017 second quarter results highlighting continued strong progress with permitting and advancement of optimization at donlin gold
TOKYO Japan's Nikkei share average edged lower on Wednesday as a pause in the yen's decline triggered profit-taking on exporters, while social gaming company Gree Inc (3632.T) tumbled after cutting its annual profit forecast.
The Nikkei .N225 was down 0.2 percent at 11,344.45 by the midday break, moving away from the 33-month high it hit a week earlier of 11,498.42.
"The yen's move against the dollar prompted profit-taking on exporters. The stock market is nervously eyeing the currency moves," said Naoki Fujiwara, chief fund manager at Shinkin Asset Management.
Big exporter Toyota Motor Corp (7203.T), the day's third most-traded stock, shed 0.8 percent while Sony Corp (6758.T), the fourth most-heavily traded, lost 5 percent.
On the foreign exchange market, the yen held firm on Wednesday, swinging sharply higher after an official from the Group of Seven said there were concerns about excessive movements in Japan's currency.
The yen had weakened initially after Japanese Finance Minister Taro Aso said that a G7 statement recognised that Japan's reflationary policies are not aimed at affecting foreign exchange markets.
But a G7 official later said the statement was meant to signal concerns about excessive moves in the yen, prompting a dramatic reversal in the currency.
Market analysts said the underlying mood remained positive after a U.S. Treasury official on Monday voiced support for Japan's aggressive policies to combat deflation and bolster growth.
But the market may be prone to short-term volatility until the weekend, when Group of 20 finance chiefs are scheduled to meet in Moscow.
"The Japanese market will likely stay sensitive to officials' comments until the G20 meeting this weekend. Any comments on foreign exchange could move the market," said Takuya Takahashi, an analyst at Daiwa Securities.
However, Shinkin's Fujiwara said any negative comments from the U.S., which has the significant influence in the G7, could be a serious blow to market sentiment.
While the Nikkei stayed in a narrow range, investors focused on individual stocks based on their earnings, such as Gree, which disappointed the market with poor earnings and a lower profit outlook.
Gree dropped 16.1 percent and was the eighth most-traded stock by turnover.
The broader Topix .TOPX dropped 0.2 percent to 966.52 in relatively active trade, with volume at 77 percent of its full daily average for the past 90 trading days.
"For those expecting a further weakening of the yen, it's time to take profits now," said Kyoya Okazawa, head of global equities at BNP Paribas.
The dollar last traded at 93.24 yen, down from a near 33-month high of 94.41 yen hit on Tuesday, while the euro shed more than one yen to as far as 125.00.
Investors will likely stay cautious ahead of the outcome of a Bank of Japan meeting that ends on Thursday, although many expect it hold off on any fresh easing measures until a new governor is appointed.
(Additional reporting by Ayai Tomisawa; Editing by Richard Borsuk)
* Novagold reports 2017 second quarter results highlighting continued strong progress with permitting and advancement of optimization at donlin gold
* Transcanada - established ATM program allowing co to issue common shares from treasury having an aggregate gross sales price of up to $1 billion to public Source text for Eikon: Further company coverage:


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Home → Active Query Builder - Metadata handling and filtration → Metadata handling and filtration in Java, VCL and ActiveX Editions → Working with the Metadata Container
2.3. Working with the Metadata Container
This article is valid for Java, ActiveX and VCL editions.
The appropriate article for Active Query Builder 2 .NET Editon can be found here:
Metadata Container (QueryBuilder.MetadataContainer) is collection of database objects displayed in the metadata tree. Each object contains collections of Fields and Relations (foreign keys). You can easily add or remove objects of this collection to add or remove database objects from the tree. Some database objects can be hidden, i.e. they are loaded in the metadata container, but not visible in the tree. System objects are hidden by default.
Metadata container is normally filled with RefreshMetadata or LoadMetadataByMask, LoadMetadataByFilter methods. These methods fill the list of database objects and their relations, but not their fields as it may take a long time to do that in case of large databases or slow connections. Fields are usually loaded when object is added to the query building area. To load fields during the RefreshMetadata method call you should set the WorkOffline (OfflineMode) property to True.
The WorkOffline (OfflineMode) property instructs the component to work in offline mode, i.e. it denies any hidden SQL query executions (mostly to load fields of some database objects). But in case of direct calls of metadata loading methods, it instructs the component to load metadata information in complete, i.e. with fields of each loaded database object.
If you already have the list of allowed objects, you don't need to call the RefreshMetadata method. Instead you can fill the Metadata Container programmatically:
For Each AllowedTableName As String In AllowedTables
QueryBuilder.MetadataContainer.AddTable("", AllowedTableName, False, "")
Fisrt parameter of the AddTable method is a schema name, fourth is a database name, third parameter is a flag for system objects.