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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.
~This was an entry for the Twilight round of The Canon Tour~
The dates in the emails correspond to the Twilight Lexicon timeline.
10th (Thurs) – Edward's turn to ask questions. (TW11)
11th (Fri) – Edward leaves after lunch to hunt with Alice. (TW12)
12th (Sat) – Edward takes Bella to the Meadow. They spend the night together with Edward just holding Bella as she sleeps.(TW13-14)
13th (Sun) – Edward introduces Bella to his family – the baseball game – James targets Bella – Bella tells her father she is leaving Forks. (TW15-16-17-18-19)
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: I'm so sorry… PLEASEREAD
Date: March 10, 2005 4:15 PM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
I'm so sorry I took off the way I did. I swear I had no choice. I would call you, but I'm afraid the sound of your voice would absolutely kill me. You looked so beautiful today. Blue is definitely my favorite color on you, but I digress. I obviously need to explain myself, please forgive me, it's a little awkward.
I was really looking forward to spending the day with you at school. Alice called me (to warn me) but I left my phone in my car as to give you my undivided attention. As soon as you stepped out of your house this morning when I came to pick you up, I smelled it. I'm an idiot for not realizing this would happen; you're human. I can only guess that you are having your monthly cycle…for lack of a more polite phrase.
Bella, I need to tell you something about the vampire world. I've told you how some humans smell is more appealing than others... but I need to expound further. There is a phenomenon called "la tua cantante," or in English, a loose translation is "singer." Sometimes a vampire will come across a human whose scent is more appealing than anything they've ever experienced. No one in my family has ever heard of a vampire being able to resist the temptation to drink their "singer." Emmett came across his "singer" a while back, and it didn't end well. You, Bella, are my singer. Your blood calls to me. I cannot explain the excruciating thirst I feel for you, but Bella, I love you and I would rather die than ever hurt you. Under normal circumstances, on a scale of 1-10, the temptation is at a 9.5, but I am able to control the urge. Today, though, your intoxicating scent was just too overpowering, and I was afraid that I wouldn't have been able to contain my thirst. On that same scale, it would probably be somewhere off the chart—around 100. This is a risk I am unwilling to take with you.
I have left Forks and fled north to stay with my cousins in Denali. I will return as soon as it is safe, I promise you. I realize that this unfortunately will be a monthly occurrence, but I have faith that our love can withstand the occasional distance. I actually think this might be a good thing for us. In 1844, Thomas Haynes Bayly said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I believe this to be true. I would like to take the opportunity to use these times to strengthen our relationship. The art of the love letter has not been lost on me.
Again, Bella, I am so sorry for running away from you, but I didn't have a choice. I care about you too much to risk something happening to you.
Please understand.
I love you,
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: I'm so sorry… PLEASEREAD
Date: March 10, 2005 4:30 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
I'm so relieved to hear from you! I can't tell you how hurt I was today. It felt like all my fears about you leaving me had been realized. I'm just so glad to know what happened. I had a whole list of reasons you ran away from me tumbling through my mind, and to be honest, your explanation wasn't even one of them. I'm so sorry. I should have been more thoughtful and I shouldn't have put you in that situation. You've explained to me before how hard it is for you, and I should have realized when I started my period that this was going to be an issue. Please…you have nothing to apologize for. It's my fault; I should have known. I really thought you left me. Please never leave me. I'm so glad to know that you're okay, and that we're okay. I know this is really weird to talk about, but just to let you know, my periods usually only last a few days. I get it from my mom…but enough about that.
I like your idea of taking this time to let our love grow. Maybe we could also get to know each other better. There's still so much I want to learn about you and your family.
I love you too,
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Date: March 10, 2005 4:51 PM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
My Love,
Please do not blame this on yourself; you're being ridiculous. This is not your fault, and I refuse to let you think of it any other way. It's not really anyone's fault. We should have realized this would happen, but it's okay. I really think it will be good that we get to communicate in this manner. People don't write letters anymore. They call, text, and leave stupid messages on MySpace (Alice promises me that site will only be a short-lived trend). The art of letter writing has really been lost on your generation, but it won't be lost on us.
Love, I want you to know how lonely my existence was until I met you. Please understand that I'm not trying to complain about my life, but rather, I want you to see the difference that you've made on me. Living with three mated couples has been very hard for me. Even in a "family" that I love very much, and that loves me in return, I have felt very alone, and I have grown increasingly bitter. I have to listen to all their intimate thoughts, and unfortunately see their recounting of previous nights' activities. I have been so jealous, specifically of what Carlisle and Esme have. Their marriage is what I ultimately aspire to. They have this beautiful mutual admiration for each other that reminds me so much of my human parents. They were very much in love, and I just always assumed that I would have that too. Over the years, I had given up hope. Not for a lack of options, but because I wanted to have that deep and passionate love for my mate that Carlisle has for Esme. I never found it. I searched everywhere to no avail…until the day I met you. Bella, you turned my whole world upside down. I have never been happier or more "alive." I had completely given up hope that I would ever find you. Then one day at measly little Forks High School, I found what had eluded me for nearly a decade—my love. I didn't even understand the meaning of the word until I met you. My innate need to protect and take care of you kicked in without me even realizing what happened. One second, I was talking to Alice beside my car, and the next, I had you in my arms, on the wet parking lot asphalt to save you from what was sure to be your impending death. I couldn't bear the thought of not hearing your heart beat again, or never seeing your cheeks flush again. I knew at that moment that you were going to be the great love of my entire existence.
You, my love, are the best thing that has ever, and will ever, happen to me.
I love you more,
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: Love Letter #1
Date: March 10, 2005 9:49 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Should I just expect all of your emails to make me cry? I don't even know what to say. There is no way on Earth that I can respond to the beautiful words that you wrote. How could I ever let you know how much you mean to me? How can I ever express how much I love you back?
Like you, I've never been in love before. Love is something that—to be honest—I quit believing in years ago. Renée and Charlie divorced when I was only two years old. We left Forks and lived in Southern California for a few years before we finally settled in Phoenix. Renée made it clear that women only needed men for two things, and technology has made interaction with men pretty much obsolete for those things too. She would say, "Vibrators and sperm banks are just proof that a woman's needs are met more efficiently without a husband." From what you've told me, I'm sure Esme would find the way Renée talks to be a bit uncouth, but Renée is Renée. I love her and her brashness. Anyway, my point is that I grew up with a single mother who was a bit of a man-hater. It wasn't until Phil came along and completely swept her off her feet that she changed her mind on the subject. She used to have long talks with me about how she got married too young, and that she and Charlie had no idea what they were getting themselves into. I don't think she ever realized how insulting that was to me. Their marriage created me.
I was sure that I'd never have that "fairy tale" kind of love that you talk about Carlisle and Esme having. I didn't think it existed. I was pretty sure that I'd get married someday, but not until I was well into my thirties. It would have been more for tax purposes than anything else. It never occurred to me how depressing that life would be, mainly because I wasn't aware of what I would have been missing. Edward, now I know what I would have been missing. The love that I have for you far exceeds even my wildest fantasies about such a thing. I am completely confident that the love we share is so much greater than any love that Renée will ever know. That thought makes me really sad. Everyone should have this. If everyone could feel the way that I feel for you, the world would be a much better place.
I don't know what else to tell you other than how grateful I am that you have shown me what I was so ready to live without.
I will love you always,
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: Love Letter #2
Date: March 10, 2005 10:02 PM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
My Love,
I promise that you will never have the life you thought you'd have. I promise to love you more with each passing day and to always remind you of that fact. We are NOT Renée and Charlie. You are not your mother. Her mistakes are not, and will not be, yours.
I'm still haunted by your words to Jessica yesterday. I feel as though I need to remind you daily that you do not see yourself the way I see you. If I can promise you anything, anything at all, it is that I care more for you than you ever could for me. My love for you, Bella, has no human equivalent. Please understand that you are the most important thing in the world to me now. You are so perceptive, Bella. I hate that you sense my apprehension, and that, as you put it, I always seem to be saying goodbye. I would never leave you unless it was for your own protection. Even then, I wouldn't truly leave you. I'd love you for the rest of my days. It has occurred to me, though, that my involvement in your life might be dangerous for you. I worry more than you could know about this. As I have informed you, not all vampires are like my family. Most are horrible monsters. We are all innately bloodthirsty demons, and as much as my family has learned to suppress that instinct, it never fully leaves us. I could never live with myself if something happened to you.
Let's not focus on that, though. I'd much rather you focus on how beautiful I think you are. How much I love hearing your heart speed up when you see me. Those are the things I want you to remember tonight as you go to sleep. As you lie in bed, I want you to remember that I have waited nearly 100 years for you. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.
I love you. Go to sleep; you need your rest.
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: Love Letter #2
Date: March 10, 2005 10:05 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Never leave me. I don't care how dangerous it is. I love you. Goodnight.
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: My turn
Date: March 11, 2005 6:22 AM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
Good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept well. I'm so sorry that I can't be there this morning to pick you up for school. I hate that I have to be away from you. I don't plan on letting today be a total waste, though. Yesterday was supposed to be my day to ask questions, and I've got a whole list. I know some of these are very basic, but these are questions I've never had to ask before. I am having a surprisingly fun, human-like moment. I am realizing that there are so many things that I don't know about you. I can't decide whether I hate that I can't read your mind or if it's a gift. Anyway, here goes.
1. What is your favorite color?
2. What is in your CD player right now?
3. Do you play any instruments?
4. What is your favorite instrument to listen to?
5. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
6. What are your favorite movies and books?
7. Least-favorite movies and books?
8. Who is your favorite fictional character?
9. What book haven't you read, but really want to read?
10. Where have you traveled?
11. Where do you most want to travel to?
12. Would you prefer relaxing tropical or busy sightseeing vacations?
13. If you could be an Olympian in any sport, which would you choose?
14. What's your favorite animal?
15. Do you prefer silver or gold metals?
16. What is your favorite gemstone?
17. What kinds of flowers do you prefer?
I think that's enough to start. I look forward to your answers.
Missing you more than you could imagine,
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: My turn
Date: April 11, 2005 7:16 AM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Haha! I guess you're right. Yesterday was supposed to be your day. :) You sure have saved up a lot of them, haven't you! Some of these are pretty random, but I'll do my best to answer them.
1.What is your favorite color? It changes from day to day, but today? Probably brown. Brown is warm. Today, Forks is very cold. Things that should be brown, like tree trunks and even rocks, are covered up in green. I miss brown.
2.What is in your CD player right now? Linkin Park- Hybrid Theory. Phil gave it to me.
3.Do you play any instruments? Not really.
4.What is your favorite instrument to listen to? I love the piano.
5.When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A ballerina.
6.What are your favorite movies and books? I have to admit that "Interview with the Vampire" has always been one of my favorites. Kinda ironic now, but I always thought it was Brad Pitt's sexiest role. Renée bought me the DVD for Christmas a few years back, but I don't think it made the move to Forks with me. I should buy another copy; I've got some studying to do! Besides that, my guilty pleasure movie is the 1996 "Romeo+Juliet." I love that aquarium scene, but the whole movie is just beautiful. Baz Luhrmann is such an amazing director. I love how he used the same type of style in "Moulin Rouge." There are some directors that as soon as you have watched five minutes of the movie, you know exactly who directed it, just by the style and feel. Anyway, I'm rambling. As for books, definitely "Wuthering Heights." I've read it more times than I can count. Whenever I have a bad day, I always know that I can escape to an early 19th century English farm house. I also love Jane Austen. "Pride & Prejudice," "Sense & Sensibility" and "Mansfield Park" are so great. I love me some Mr.Darcy!:)
7.Least-favorite movies and books? Renée made me go with her to see "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights." Horrible. As for least favorite book, it's hard to say. I really hated reading "Lord of the Flies," though. Stupid book. Just shows how gross most adolescent boys are.
8.Who is your favorite fictional character? Catherine Earnshaw. I love how she suffers this horrible identity crisis, unable to choose between nature and culture. I know it's stupid, but for some reason I feel as though she and I are kindred spirits.
9.What book haven't you read, but really want to read? I've always wanted to read "On the Road." I haven't read much Beatnik literature, but that book defined an American generation. I'll get around to it someday, but Jack Kerouac doesn't seem like my kind of guy. I like to stick to the romantics.
10.Where have you traveled? Renée and I have taken road trips all over the U.S. We have this tradition to buy one of those touristy t-shirts at every road-side attraction we stop at. My favorite is the three-headed lobster t-shirt Renée bought for me in Maine.
11.Where do you most want to travel to? Rome, Italy. Or really anywhere in Italy. The history of that country is so amazing. I really got in to learning about the Roman Empire when I wrote a term paper on it last year at my old high school in Phoenix.
12.Would you prefer relaxing tropical or busy sightseeing vacations? Contradictory to my last answer, probably a relaxing tropical vacation. Sounds wonderful. I've never been anywhere actually tropical, but I love the beach. I just want to lie on the sand under an umbrella (I burn too easily to try to tan) and read. I'll only go in the water if it's warm. Renée and I went to the beach a few times when we lived in California, and that water was freezing.
13.If you could be an Olympian in any sport, which would you choose? This is such a weird question! I love watching gymnastics, though.
14.What's your favorite animal? Lion. Makes me think of you. :)
15.Do you prefer silver or gold metals? Silver. Gold looks funny on my pale skin.
16.What is your favorite gemstone? You have no idea how fitting this question is. It has recently changed. It used to be garnet, but now it's topaz—the color of your eyes. Ask me again in two weeks and I'll probably say onyx.
17.What kinds of flowers do you prefer? I know it's generic, but there's something about roses that Ireally like. Red or white. I like both.
So, do you feel more informed? I gotta get to school. I'll check my email as soon as I get home.
I miss you too.
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: My turn
Date: March 11, 2005 9:51 AM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
I love this. I know they're generic questions, but I think you can learn a lot about someone by their answers.
I agree—brown is warm. Brown reminds me of your endlessly beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. I miss looking into your eyes. It's barely been twenty four hours, and already I painfully long to see you.
I have more questions for you. They're a little bit more in-depth than the last round. Some were brought up by your answers to my last set of questions, and others… well, call me curious. I want to know more about your pre-Forks life.
1. What do you miss about Phoenix, besides the color brown? Don't give me a one-word answer such as: heat. I want details, Miss Swan.
2. Tell me more about Renée.
3. What kinds of things did the two of you enjoy doing together?
4. Are you close with any of your grandparents?
5. Do you have a particularly memorable birthday?
6. Have you ever had a pet?
7. What was school like for you there?
8. Is there anyone back in Phoenix that you dated?
9. How many "boyfriends" have you had?
You don't have to answer those last two if you feel that they are too imposing. I'm just intrigued.
I hope school wasn't too painful today. I had planned to leave after lunch today to hunt with Alice anyway. Hopefully I can come back to you soon. I knew being away from you would be very trying, but I honestly had no idea that I was going to go this crazy without you.
Forever Yours,
P.S. I hate to burst your bubble, but "Interview with the Vampire" has quite a few inaccuracies. We don't sleep in coffins—or anything at all. We just don't sleep. Also, if we cut our hair, it won't grow back. I actually have a lot of issues with that movie, but most take too long to explain in an email.
P.P.S. I love you.
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: My turn
Date: April 11, 2005 3:02 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
I drove home so quickly so that I could read your next email! I swear they are the only things keeping me sane during our time apart. Wow, more questions? These ones, you're right, are definitely more in-depth. Just to let you know, though, there is no question that you can't ask me. I want you to know everything, just as I want to know everything about you. Question about that, actually: you don't sleep? Ever? Do you not get tired? What do you do with all that extra time?
1.What do you miss about Phoenix, besides the color brown? Don't give me a one-word answer such as: heat. I want details, Miss Swan. It's hard to pinpoint actual things that I miss. It's just the place in general. It's home, or at least was. Now I think I'll consider home to be wherever you are. I guess I can try to describe what it's like in Phoenix. In mid-spring, the Creosote bushes start to bloom. They're everywhere. They have these tiny little yellow flowers, but that's not what people notice about them. It's their scent. It smells oddly bitter, and slightly resinous, but still pleasant. By the beginning of May, the scent completely occupies the air. In July, we get a completely different sensory experience. The high, keening sounds of the cicadas become white noise. From the minute you step outside, you can't get away from it. Visitors are driven nuts by it, but the locals learn to tune it out. The landscape in Phoenix could not be more different from Forks. The trees are much more sparse, and the sky is always blue. I actually can't remember the last time I saw a blue sky in Forks. The desert mountains are covered in a purple volcanic rock, exposing the actual shape of the mountain, whereas here, the mountains are completely covered by the forest. It is so hard to explain why it's such a beautiful place to me. I just love the way the craggy hills reflect the sun in the desert. It's absolutely breath-taking.
2.Tell me more about Renée. Renée is a child at heart. She flies by the seat of her pants, never making plans more than a few days in advance. She is probably the most free-spirited person you'd ever meet. She does what she wants, when she wants, which can make her a bit selfish at times. She's a terrible cook. As soon as I was old enough to use the stove and the sharp knives, I took over the cooking for us. She used to roast marshmallows on the gas stove and make me a s'mores when I had a bad day at school. She's a terrible procrastinator, but she'll start 10 projects at once and never finish any of them. She was supposed to make my ballet recital costume when I was in 4th grade; she never finished, so she bought me a costume. She never told me, and I think she's stilll under the impression that I believe she made it.
3.What kinds of things did the two of you enjoy doing together? We really loved taking road trips. Every time I had a break from school, we'd go somewhere, even if it was just for a three day weekend. We took countless art courses together during the summer months.
4.Are you close with any of your grandparents? My Grandma Marie is the only grandparent I've ever really known. She's my mom's mom. We weren't that close, and she and my mom never really got along, but she died a few years ago. We stayed with her for a brief time after we left Charlie. Renée couldn't stand her though, so that's why we moved to Riverside as soon as she finished her educational degree.
5.Do you have a particularly memorable birthday? I'm not big on birthdays. In general, I don't like a big fuss made about me. All the attention overwhelms me and makes me uncomfortable. Plus, my family has never had much money, so I never liked the idea of money spent on me for my birthdays. For my tenth birthday in fifth grade, my mom invited my whole class to our house for a party. The whole thing turned out to be a disaster. She planned all these games that no one wanted to play, and I'm pretty sure everyone just wanted to eat their slice of cake and leave. I've never been much of a social butterfly. I don't mix well with parties like that.
6.Have you ever had a pet? I've killed three fish. I'm pretty sure PETA has me on some sort of watch list.
7.What was school like for you there? I had a few friends, but none that I really care to keep in contact with. My two closest friends were Laura and Hilary. They had been best friends since pre-school, and they just sort of adopted me when I moved to Phoenix. They were nice enough, but I always felt a little bit on the outside with them. It was like the two of them were friends, and oh yeah, I was their friend too. I had an English teacher I really liked, though. Mrs. Johnson is the one responsible for getting me into Emily Brontë.
8.Is there anyone back in Phoenix that you dated? Simple answer: No.
9. How many "boyfriends" have you had? 0. I guess good things come to those who wait, right?
Okay, there can't possibly be anything else you want to know. I'm pretty sure you have my whole life story now. I love that you wanted to know all this stuff. No one has ever really taken an interest in my thoughts and feelings like you have. You have no idea how special that makes me feel. I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. No one should ever be this lucky. No one deserves this kind of luck. Well, except for you. I can't help but feel that you got the short end of the stick on this deal. I know you don't think so, but I can't help but feel that way.
I have a ton of homework to get done tonight; I should get started. Talk to you tomorrow?
Love Always,
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: Love Letter #3
Date: March 11, 2005 5:16 PM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
No, we never sleep. We don't need to. Most mated vampires use that "extra time," as you call it, to...mate, so to speak. I obviously don't, so at night I have a lot of time for myself. I usually use the nights to study. That's probably why, besides Carlisle, I speak the most languages and hold the most degrees of anyone in the family. Lately I've been composing a lot. I guess I should tell you about that. You said that your favorite instrument to listen to is the piano. Without sounding too arrogant, I play most instruments, but piano is my specialty. I have been playing and composing since I was a human. In my first years as a vampire, I began to take my playing seriously. It was a good way for me to focus my newborn energy in to something positive. I played roughly sixteen hours a day, and since then I have composed over a thousand piano pieces. I look forward to playing for you some time. Esme has really encouraged me to play more since January, when I met you. Music is the easiest way for me to express myself. As you know, I had a difficult time when I first came into contact with you. The piano has always been where I had sought solace, but in the past few months, it has become a vital outlet for me. When I compose, I am able to express my pain, my angst, and now that I have you, my joy. One piece in particular, I think you will really enjoy. It's actually named after you.
I am so grateful that you answered all my questions. The more I learn about you, the more I love you. The way you wrote about the landscape of Phoenix. I learned that we have a true shared passion for nature, and for the way the light can play off different surfaces on a mountain. I find your love of Emily Brontë absolutely breathtaking. I have grown so tired of this generation's fascination with celebrity tabloids and magazines like Cosmopolitan that encourage women to be promiscuous and dress like cheap hookers. It's as though you were actually made for me. We have such similar interests in most everything. I still can't wrap my head around the idea that you love Debussy as much as I do.
You are everything I told myself I should stop dreaming for. Bella, I know I sound like a broken record, but I gave up hope that you existed. I scoured the whole Earth looking for a mate and always came up empty handed. Most people think I'm overly picky, but I just couldn't settle for anything less than...well...you. I am in constant awe of how perfect you are and how my love grows for you by the second. Just when I think I couldn't possibly have any more room to love, somehow you prove me wrong, and I love you even more.
My soul can rest. I have finally found you. My Bella. I love you. The love we now share is the greatest gift I have ever been given. So much so that I have lost my words, so I shall quote the great Ludwig van Beethoven:
"What tearful longings for you—you—you—my life—my all—farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine
Ever mine
Ever ours."
I don't want to distract you tonight. Finish your homework. I'll email you in the morning.
Sweet dreams, my Bella.
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: Seattle
Date: March 12, 2005 9:15 AM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
I hate that our plans for today have been canceled. I was looking forward to spending the whole day, uninterrupted, with you. Now that your day is free, maybe you should go to the dance with Tyler. (That was a joke. Don't you dare.)
Are you still going to go to Seattle? I'm not sure if you'd be up for it, but Alice said that she would accompany you to Seattle for the day. She's been pretty persistent with me about you. She thinks the two of you are going to become best friends. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't want her being a bad influence on you. Just my luck you'll come home from a day with my sister with a new haircut, a full face of makeup, and a $5000 dress. I love you just the way you are. Please don't ever change. You're perfect. Alice is pretty great, though. If you can stand the constant chatter and the shopping, you should call her. She really wants to spend time with you. She promised me that she wouldn't corrupt you, but you can't trust vampires. Trust me. :)
I had a great day planned for us. I was going to take you to this beautiful meadow that I think you will really like. It's just above the cloud line, so there is almost always sun pouring onto the forest floor in that spot. The ground is covered in lush grass and wildflowers. I promise as soon as possible that I will take you there.
Spend the day with Alice. She just texted me that she's just going to just show up at your door and kidnap you for the day. If you really don't want to, I'd call her immediately. I'm pretty sure she's planning to leave any minute now.
Have fun, whatever you decide to do.
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: My turn
Date: April 12, 2005 9:20 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Alice just got here. We're going to Seattle for the day. I think she mentioned something about a spa inside Nordstrom? I'm not sure exactly, but I'll roll with it. She's really sweet. She's currently going through my closet to see if I have anything "acceptable" to wear. I probably don't. I like her, though. You can't help but smile around her.
Praying I come back in once piece,
P.S. That meadow sounds amazing. I can't wait. I love you.
P.P.S. Alice told me to tell you that she might have to break her promise. She said that I need new clothes, but that she'll try to keep your taste in mind…Here's to hoping…
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: Sunday
Date: March 12, 2005 9:15 AM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
Good news! I spoke to Alice this morning, and she said that she saw all of us together tomorrow playing baseball. She said that by then, you'll be close to "done," and I'll be able to contain myself around you. There's a storm coming on Sunday—I want you to see what the family does for fun. Would you please let me take you to formally meet my family, and then play baseball with us? I know it sounds weird, but it's always so much fun.
Did you have fun yesterday? She told me that she was "good." She said she bought you lots of new clothes. Mostly just "jeans and t-shirts that flatter her figure better" in her words. Is she telling the truth? Did she torture you with store after store? I sincerely hope she didn't scar you for life.
I'm really looking forward to introducing you to Carlisle and Esme. I know you've technically already met Carlisle, but he's a much different person at home than he is at the hospital. You'll love Esme. She's the kindest person I know. She'll love you.
Bella, you are my life now. I feel uncharacteristically like a giddy teenager. I really can't wait to bring you to the house to show you more of my family and myself. I have so much to share with you.
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: Love Letter #4
Date: April 10, 2005 1:06 PM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
I hate that I'm not strong enough to stay. I hoped that maybe I'd be able to handle not leaving this time, since I was able to control myself when I had to suck James's venom out of you. I conferred with Alice, and she saw that my staying would not end well. I promise to get stronger for you.
Love, I've realized that I can't exist in a world where you don't. I was so scared. I didn't know if I was going to get to the dance studio in time, and I was afraid of what I would find when I got there. I came so close to losing you. I don't think I would know how to function if something ever happened to you. On my way to the studio, I started brainstorming ways to end my existence if I didn't get to you in time. Maybe you shouldn't know that, but I just need you to comprehend the level of my commitment to you, Bella. Even if I wanted to, I don't have the strength to stay away from you. I need you just as much as you say that you need me. Now that I know what love feels like, I can't imagine ever letting it go…even if that does make me selfish.
I was just thinking this morning about our trip to the meadow last week. Bella, I can't tell you how relieved I was to have you there with me. I was so afraid that I would never be able to lie next to you on the grass again. I'm not sure I've ever told you how special those times are for me. I feel so free being able to lie in the sun next to you. It's as if time stops, and the only thing that matters is us. Our hands entwined, the breeze rustling our hair, and the sun dancing on our skin. There is no more perfect setting in the world than our meadow. It's the one place that I can relax and stop worrying. I can't hear any thoughts, and I can't be interrupted from studying your face. There have been very few times since my change when I have been able to revel in silence. I get so frustrated at times that I can't hear your thoughts, but I consider it a gift. It forces me to pay attention and ask more questions.
So, on that note…Will you go to prom with me? Don't say no.
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: Love Letter #4
Date: April 10, 2005 3:34 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Oh, you've got to be joking. I don't even dance when I have two normal feet. You expect me to go to the prom with you with a cast on my leg? Good luck. I love you, but no thank you.
I'm glad you've finally realized that we need to be together. Everything good has an element of danger. Driving a car, cooking dinner, or in my case—walking. Then you've got earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, the list goes on. Edward, everything is dangerous. Just because you're dangerous, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be together. Being apart would be even more dangerous. Like it or not, you're stuck with me. :)
I got a call today from Alice. She says you're still freezing her out. Edward, I needed to know. You weren't telling me anything, and somebody had to. Big deal, now I'm up to date on "Vampire Transformations 101." Are you more upset that she told me the logistics, or that she saw me like you one day? It's going to happen; I trust Alice. I'm too fragile as a human. At some point, you'll have to come to the realization that I will keep aging, and you will not. That I am going to die, and you will not. Haven't we already come to the conclusion that we can't be without each other? Stop being so mad at Alice for filling me in on some pretty important information. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. I asked! She's your sister. You can't stay mad at her forever. She says it's going to happen no matter what. She told me that it makes no difference what keeps happening to us, that vision doesn't change. I know you say that her visions are subjective, and I'm sure in some cases that they are. I'm still betting on Alice, though.
You're crazy, but I love you.
From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
Subject: Love Letter #5
Date: April 10, 2005 5:25 PM PDT
To: bella . wa(at)me. com
You are the most wonderfully stubborn person I know. At times, it can be so frustrating, but I also find it terribly endearing. I too can be stubborn. Watch me. Alice doesn't deserve my forgiveness yet. She is still too smug about it. When she finally realizes that it wasn't her place to tell you, and you aren't better off for knowing, I'll forgive her. At some point, I would have told you, Bella. Obviously, though, you're not ready for the information. Hence your irrational longing to be like us. You don't know better. You shouldn't be like us. You're perfect just the way you are, and I look forward to seeing you age. The aging process is a beautiful thing, and it saddens me to think that you would cut that short just for some extra strength and agility.
Maybe you need a reference guide to all the human things that I love about you. Things that would disappear if you became like me.
I love how your heart speeds up when I kiss you.
I love how your cheeks flush every time I make you nervous.
I love how you chew on your bottom lip when you're deep in thought.
I love that you take care of Charlie and enjoy cooking all his meals.
I love the color of your pale peach skin.
I love your perfect chocolate brown eyes.
I love how you talk when you dream.
I love how you hold on to me when you sleep.
I love watching tears stream down your face as you read Wuthering Heights.
I love the feel of your warm, soft skin.
Love, I could keep this list going for miles, but I think you get the point. I love Human Bella. Just the way you are. I don't want you to change. You're perfect.
I love you,
From: bella . wa(at)me. com
Subject: RE: Love Letter #5
Date: April 10, 2005 7:10 PM PDT
To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com
I'm sure you'd be able to find just a couple things to love about me if I became like your family. Would my novelty wear off for you if I joined you for eternity? Do you actually like the fact that I'm human and not like you? That really worries me.
Give Alice a break. She's right, and you know it. Sorry to cut this email so short, but I have a ton of homework to do. Come back soon, okay? I really miss you.
PS… If I was a vampire, we wouldn't have these monthly problems to worry about… Just saying.
Please review! I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you to the amazing betas at PROJECT TEAM BETA:
Babykay16 & JointGifts- Thank you so much for your hard work beta'ing my little one-shot!
Special Thank You to Jennrosee for all your support! You rock, lady! :)


text: ISSN 2217-5210 Научно удружење за развој српских студија, Нови Сад (Association for the Development of Serbian Studies, Novi Sad) SERBIAN STUDIES RESEARCH Год. 1 / Vol. 1 Бр. 1 / No. 1 2010 Нови Сад, 2010 [шт. 2011] 5 UDC 821.163-13:398 Dr Mirjana Detelić1 Balkanološki institut Srpska akademija nauka i umetnosti Srbija PARRY-LORD-FOLEY: AND WHAT CAN WE DO WITH THEM Abstract: Formulae of the South Slavic oral epic songs can be sorted in three categories: 1) the true formulas, which are the oldest syntactic patterns that connect epics with other oral literary genres as well as they connect the different layers within one and the same genre; 2) the rudimentary formulas which are in fact common places as white throat (even in an Arab), white dawn/day, green sword etc. similar to the homeric formulae; 3) formulae in the making, named by Foley as "generic formulas", meaning by that moveable and changeable strings of words that can easily fit to the asymetric epic decasylable verse (4+6). Within a given epic body all the three types of formulae can exist at the same time, so it is often possible to track the development of a formula from a string of words to its full, closed form. Key words: epic songs, epic formula, South Slavs, Christians, Muslims Due to the huge interest of Milman Parry and Albert Bates Lord for the use of formula in South Slavic oral epic tradition, what started in 1930-ies as a support to the studies of homerology, in the last seventy-odd years developed into an intensive research of all kinds of epics - oral, transitional, and written, classical, medieval and modern. Among the rest, it resulted in such peculiar concepts as the formula density check - for example, which served as a means of appointing the degree of orality in a given text (Lord 1986, 478-481). There were also some inspiring insights on performance and new implementation of performative theories (especially by Foley 1995), as well as on the relationship between the epic and history, and so on. These issues still make the mainstream in the international epic studies, but for the South Slavic oral epic research at 1 [email protected] 6 | Mirjana Detelić home they are not particularly useful, because they usually offer either irrelevant or out of point answers to some important questions. This may well be a case of linguistic barrier (the full understanding of a poetry should be based on the first hand knowledge of its language), but more than that it is caused by poor or one-dimensional knowledge of the Balkans itself, its history, culture mix, traditions etc. In one of his latest works, even Foley - for example - made an unnecessary mistake by suggesting that Muslim epic songs were sung in Ottoman courts before they degraded to the coffeehouse performances (Foley 2010, 350), unnecessary because of the simple fact that this poetry was sung in the local idiom of Serbo-Croatian (or Macedonian or Bulgarian) language which has (either of them) never been a court language of the Ottoman Empire. 2 On the contrary, Slavic epic poetry, in both long (10 to 16 syllable verses) and short (8 to 10) verse, was sung on the courts from Russia and Moravia to Serbia and Bulgaria all the way long, before the Ottoman arrival to the Balkans. During the multicentenial Turkish stay among the South Slavs, while the Slavic courts in the Balkans were no more, the asymmetric decasyllable epic songs became the popular chronicles of the times both old and new. That is where Foley made another big mistake within the same paper: while his definition of the Muslim attitude towards history was globally adequate (even though it could have been more detailed), identifying the historicity of Christian epic songs with the person of Prince Marko was a failure even a beginner should be careful to avoid. There is a huge bibliography on the mythical, legendary, symbolic and other interpretations of Prince Marko among all the South Slavs - Serbs, Croats, Bosniacs, Macedonians, Montenegrins, Bulgarians, and even non-Slavic Balkan peoples like Albanians. 3 In the huge repertory of the things connected with Prince Marko in the South Slavic epic poetry, only two biographical details can be presumed as true: his connection with the old Maceodnian town of Prilep (archeological evidence) and the names of his father (king Vukasin Mrnjavcevic) and his 2 The only way this poetry could have been played at courts was if the courts were of local character, for example in Bosnia or some other part within the empire. Many Bosnian agas and beys (local barons and dukes) really were wealthy enough to keep a court of local significance. But even they had to be of the originally Slavic family line, which was very often a case, especially in Bosnia and Lika. 3 Foley was probably mislead by the works of prof. Koljevic whose very popular book The Epic in the Making (Oxford 1980) is actually a collection of literary essays more than a solid scholarly research. For the significance and importance of Prince Marko in the Balkan context conf. Ivanova 1992, Suvajdzic 2007, Ljubinkovic 2010. Parry-Lord-Foley: And What Can We Do With Them | 7 own. Even his title is remembered wrongly: the Young King, his rightful title, is by no means the same as the lesser thing, Prince. Everything else in the songs about him has a mythological background, in Bulgarian songs even more than in Serbian and Macedonian. On the contrary, the songs about brigands (hajduks, uskoks) in the time of the Ottoman rule, the songs on two Serbian insurrections against the Turks (1804 and 1812), and on the Montenegrin battles for freedom after that are full of recent historical data, in many aspects even more accurate than often controversial and scarce historical evidence. But, those songs cannot be found only in one volume of Vuk Karadzic's collection (the book number two) which Foley consulted - it is really necessary to take them all into account.4 The last, but not the least - because it is also the most common - mistake which also occurs in the earlier mentioned paper of John Miles Foley (2010) is the analysis of Muslim and Christian epics in the reverse order. Probably because of the huge Harvard collection of Muslim epic songs at their disposal, the American scholars always start with what they have close at hand and then compare it with the Christian collections if they know of them and as far as they can read them. In a way, it is as if the Doric style in architecture would be reconstructed on the basis of "The historic Cincinnati Gas and Electric Co. building" in Cincinnati - Ohio, instead of on the authentic, still standing monuments of Greek antiquity, like Parthenon in Athens, for example. 5 So, when analyzing the generic formulas of Muslim epic songs (p. 353) nerodjena majka (lit. "non-birthing mother") and kukavica crna (lit. "black cuckoo"), Foley inevitably looses their original, pan-Slavic meaning brought to the present day through many centuries, from the times long before Islam was even born: nerodjena, kao i rodjena (not by birth, but as by birth) is what is missing in the first formula which is usually said not only for a mother, but for every sort of virtual (not by blood) kinship - brothers, sisters and fathers as well. As for the cuckoo bird, it is usually grey - sinja kukavica - where the adjective sinja/ 4 They are, actually, quite a few. The Leipzig edition counts them three (vols. II, III, IV), the state edition four (vols. VI, VII, VIII and IX), and the SANU edition from the manuscripts in Vuk Karadzic's legacy also three (vols. II, III, and IV). All in all - 10 volumes, and this is only the Karadzic collection numbered here because it really is the best. 5 The same goes for the length of Muslim songs which usually does not exceed 2000 or 3000 verses in the 19th century collections, probably because they were recorded by the local enthusiasts who did not pay to their guslari unless it was in certain quantities of rakija (strong alcoholic drink). Parry and Lord offered to pay by length and everybody was only too happy to oblige. It is a common knowledge that every good guslar can sing all the songs he knows one after another, without any breaks, as long as he sees a professional pride or some personal interest in it. 8 | Mirjana Detelić sinji is an archaism spoken in South Slavic area only in connection with this bird and the sea (sinje more). Turning grey into black in Muslim songs is an additional interpretation of an ill omen, which the cuckoo bird always brings in Slavic tradition. So, to avoid any further discussion and to make a starting point in the undoubtedly great work of Parry and Lord, we should focus on one of the great ideas which Lord, unfortunately, did not have time to work out to details, but anyway marked as the broadening of formula concept from "the metrical milieu, the line ... [to] the syntactic milieu, the sentence, which often went beyond the boundaries of a line" (Lord 1986, 481). This syntactic function of formula was developed as an answer to the lack of transparency of sacral "milieu" in the deepest layers of South Slavic epic poetry. To understand it better, let us very briefly - compare classical Homeric epics with medieval Slavic one, and let us do it from the standpoint of their "population". In Homer, gods, demons, heroes, supernatural beings, and ordinary people mingle and exist together - mortals living, fighting and dying, immortals participating in their own way - but all at the same time and in the same place. Within that context there is no reason a formula should perform anything but a figure of style, poetic ornament, an introductory element (like leitmotif in Wagner's music), or an idiosyncrasy of a distinguished personality (Hera with bovine eyes, Iris with rosy fingers etc). In South Slavic epic poems the only population are humans and a few supernatural beings (winged horse, three-headed man, dragon or snake, vila close to fairy, but not quite the same), with only a few candidates for status of true hero (Prince Marko, Relja with wings, Musa the Robber with three hearts, and a handful of knights of Draco order, falsely identified with dragons proper). It is so much so that even the generic name - junačke pesme - can hardly be translated as heroic poetry, "junak" being closer to a warrior or a knight than to a full meaning of hero.6 A kind of Christian interpretation of heroic features can be recognized in personalities like holy kings and princes of Nemanjić dynasty 7 , in one and only Serbian emperor (tzar Dushan), and during the Ottoman 6 For that reason, professional translators usually choose chivalric poetry for the name of this genre. 7 The Nemanj ic dynasty did not last long: it started in 12th century and ended with the Ottoman invasion in 15th. Its main representatives with a 'holy' as an attribute were: great zhupan Nemanja, later St. Simeon; prince Rastko, later St. Sava; duke and martyr Lazar Hrebeljanović etc. About the holy dynasties in medieval Serbia cf. Popovic 2006; Marjanovic-Dusanic 2007. Parry-Lord-Foley: And What Can We Do With Them | 9 domination in rebels 8 and leaders of two Serbian uprisings. Although the latter are all recent historical figures engaged in 19th century battles - but battles fought for national liberation, they fit the same model because their epic profiles are made strictly according to the ancient patterns. Gods and demons, together with the really supernatural beings (like semi gods, giants, monsters and similar), were successfully replaced by the Christian God, invisible, silent, immaterial, but omnipresent. In that context epic formula became a token of continuity, a vessel for ancient, pre-Christian motives and practice, which would otherwise have been long forgotten. It goes without saying that those "motives and practice" come from the sphere of sacral which in archaic times belonged to Pantheon gods and numina before them, or even older.9 As an example, the motive of "death in the forest" will do. On the surface level, it appears as a strange rule: whoever dies an unnatural death in a forest (either silent by a numen, or violent by men), is doomed to stay there forever. No matter how close a friend, how dear a relative or how passionately beloved bride or groom, they are all left in the forest, buried on the spot of their death. The reason is the sacral impurity of the place, which prevails over anything that concerns the dead and the dying. As such, the impure dead would not be allowed a proper Christian burial, they would even be denied a place in the cemetery, same as other of the kind (hanged, executed, suicides etc). So, to bring them back to a civilized, inhabited place would make no difference to their final fate. In South Slavic traditional culture a forest is a place of passage, a gate to the "other" world, natural habitat for nameless demons and charms, the only place the impure dead could hope for.10 In there, they are never ultimately dead, even if buried, they can talk to their beloved living, even send them messages asking for help etc. When such a motive occurs in an epic poem, the plot and fable do not leave that much place and time - as here is used - to explain why some decisions are made or not. Both the singer and his audience share that knowledge as a part of their mutual cultural "milieu" and the only thing a poem really needs is a signal, a shifter to redirect the audience's attention to the new turn of the story. Those shifters are in fact formulas, and for the motive of such importance there are quite a few of them, as shall be easily 8 Haiduks (Turkish for brigands): Baba Novak, Grujica Novaković, Mijat Tomić etc. 9 On this see especially good works about the epic formula of two ravens (polećela dva vranagavrana) by Schmaus 1937 and Loma 2003. For a more general case of the white city epic formula cf. Detelic&Ilic 2006. 10 On this, cf. Radenkovic 1986, Detelic 1992. 10 | Mirjana Detelić seen in case of the burial of the bride to be in The Wedding of Milic the Banner Stander, one of the most important (and most beautiful) epic poems in collections of Vuk Karadzic (Vuk III, 78)11: - passage through the forest (kad su bili gorom putujući / when they were passing through the forest), - way of dying (dole leže, gore ne ustade / she lied down, but rose no more), - digging a grave (nadžakom joj raku iskopaše / they dug the grave with swords12), - positioning the corpse (ka istoku \ otkuda se jarko sunce radja / facing East instead of West, as it should be in proper burial), - burial gifts (posuše je grošim i dukatim / they covered her with silver and gold coins), - setting a grave (tree or a rose by the corpse's head, running water, bench for a tired passersby), - conversation with the dead (da li ti je crna zemlja teška, crna mi je zemlja doteščala / is the black earth too heavy for you, the black earth is too heavy for me) etc. It is hard to believe that any archaic epos should need all that strategy to express the same thing. In the archaic world all numinous doings were transparent and dead people conveniently went directly to Hades, good as well as bad, pure and impure alike. Their further destiny was then decided upon by the god of the other world, Hades himself. The only reason for a dead to suffer, to get lost and stray between this and the other world was improper funeral, and that is something quite different. A direct consequence of the lack for this "transparency" is the hierarchy of oral epic formulas in South Slavic material 13 : the oldest are proper formu11 An elaborate analysis of all different layers in this poem in Detelic 1996, 95-103. 12 Digging a grave with swords could be a matter of convenience for shovels must be very scarce in the forests. It is also a part of ritual burial of a distinguished warrior/knight, together with sacrificing his armaments, horse, and enemies as burial gifts, usually left on the grave itself. As funerary customs, these are very old and belong to an ancient form of society known as "junačka družina" (warrior community). However, digging a grave with swords is a challenge to interpretation, for its appearance is sometimes full of ambiguity, like in the cited poem on Milic the barn stander. Later in the poem, when the groom comes home alone and dies there from despair, his grave is again dug with swords, although his funeral is not exceptional, he was not killed in battle, and the grave is regularly situated within the graveyard. 13 It is not necessarily the case with any medieval epics (conf. Kalevalla, Nubelungslied, Laxdaela saga etc. which show no lack of transparency in that respect). Parry-Lord-Foley: And What Can We Do With Them | 11 las, the most important and most valued poetic and analytic means for interlayer connection of epic poetry. Next, of a bit lesser poetic value but still very necessary, there are so called "partial, rudimental formulas", commonplace attributives like white throat (even in an Arab), black earth, green sword, white day/dawn and so on, very similar to Homeric formulas quoted earlier. Finally, there are "formulas in the making", changeable and moveable strings of words formed to fit either four or six syllable unit of the asymmetric decasyllabic oral epic verse (4 + 6). The latter is what Foley calls "generic formulas" and what Parry's and Lord's theory is mostly about, for they were presumably looking for mnemotechnic tools of lengthy oral performance. The Singer of Tales proves it in abundance, but it also points - very discretely and only in one short passage - at the importance and semantic depths of the formula proper, which Lord found in connection with the epic locus and formula of drunken tavern: The tradition feels a sense of meaning in the epithet, and thus a special meaning is imparted to the noun and to the formula. ... For it is certain that the singer means on the surface 'drunken tavern' to mean a tavern in which men drink and become drunk, but it could well be argued that the epithet is preserved in the tradition because it was used in stories where the tavern was the symbol for an entrance into the other world and the drinking involved is the drinking of the cup of forgetfulness, of the waters of Lethe, and that the drunkenness involved is not that of the ordinary carousel, but is itself a symbol for consciousness in another world, perhaps even death. This meaning comes to it from the special, peculiar purpose of oral epic song at its origin, which was magical and ritual before it became heroic (Lord 1981, 65-66). It really is pity Lord did not return and elaborate this optics on formula later. "Formula in the making" is a poetic device with significant amount of dynamism, in direct connection with the formulaity of epic language, due to the given meter of its verse. Its metric characteristics are caesura after the fourth syllable, and the quantitative closure, a device first mentioned by Roman Jakobson (1933), and defined as a rule of trochaic downfall intonation: there can be no stress on the last syllable, so the one before the last has to be either long or stressed. In that context it might be of importance to have a reserve of ready-made strings of words fitting to either of two asymmetric verse units, sometimes alternately as in zora bela (white dawn - 4 syllables) and zorica bijela (the same in diminutive and different accentuation - 6 syllables). The colloquial language works in pretty the same manner, as confirmed by works of Stolz & Shanon (1976), Chomsky (1986), MacKenzie (2000) and 12 | Mirjana Detelić others. Their point is that an ordinary sentence is always made of some kind of patterns - lines, strings, patches, even frames of words that make an operational part of our ability to speak our mother tongue with competence, idiomatically. Under the restrictive circumstances - and versification can be qualified as such - the manipulation of formulas becomes essential, for it performs the same operational role. It is obvious, therefore, why the study of South Slavic oral epic formula largely exceeds its original context of homerology. At their best, oral epic formulas in Slavic tradition are the vessels of coded information of great cultural value, the most important key to reconstruction of an ethnic history and its cultural, social, and poetic past. As Malycev said in 1989, the fundamental cultural values cannot be communicated directly; they need a code and the decoding devices. Such a significant role in matters of cultural and social memory oral epic poetry can satisfy mainly because the asymmetric decasyllable epic verse is very old, practically ancient. According to Gasparov (1989), it survived almost unchanged from Pra-Indoeuropean times as one of only a few types of verse that Slavs used in their ancient homeland, and continued to use wherever they went and settled anew. It became standard for South Slavic epic poetry in the Balkan area (Croatia, Bosnia and Hercegovina, Serbia, Monte Negro, Macedonia, Bulgaria). Because of its antiquity, it was an equal means of expression for both pre-Christian and Christian population. This did not change during the times of Ottoman domination, because Islamized local people were not forbidden their indigenous poetry and the way it was performed. In time, they even formed their own, Muslim style of epic singing, but most certainly not before 16th century when Islamization began to gain pace. The two styles shared many features: type of verse, geography, some heroes, most of the formulas, most of poetic elements and crafts. However, because the epic poetry by definition has a very strong ideological kernel, the differences in ideology - minor from the point of poetics - became crucial for either of them: the Muslim was poetry of the rulers, people whose empire was huge and prosperous; the Christian was rebellious, poetry of martyrs who lost their empire and of fighters against the infidels. They both formed a complete picture of knighthood, but for Muslims it was a picture of non-working, daring gentlemen robbers whose life in leisure was supported by constant and regular Parry-Lord-Foley: And What Can We Do With Them | 13 plunder of the Christian neighbors, 14 and the other one was a picture of daring, life risking, relentless and even fanatic fighters for national independence and liberation.15 Even from the standpoint of literary criticism, Muslim epic songs - although they are crafty and often very elaborate - are of lesser poetic value comparing to the Christian, because they lack pathos and catharsis, two great tragic categories to which the epos comes close only if it sings about an elevated subject, like the struggle for freedom. That is the "must" of this genre.16 Because they were after one - and only one - specific feature of oral epic performance, Parry and Lord did not pay attention to the quality of verses they collected. Lord, afterwards, revised his Slavonic corpus, but the most influential epic formula criticism and his magnum opus The Singer of Tales were all based on poetically feeble, second rated texts sung by a few Muslim singers.17 They actually were very good craftsmen, but by the time they came to the focus of world's interest in epic formula, the very tradition they participated was decadent and poor, both with Christians and Muslims alike. Lord himself was well aware of this notorious fact, but it seems he never realized the importance of making difference between Muslim and Christian epic singing. It is quite easy to imagine why it did not seem to matter to him very much, for even to 14 As an illustration, a Muslim song Konjević Muiaga opens the roads to Kotari (MH III, 14) may serve: after they were forced by Christian neighbours to live for nine years only on crops of their own farms, Muslim gentry and warriors are so impoverished (because they are not used to work), that they consider leaving their homeland for good: ovde s' vako ziviti ne more; / ako 'vako bude na Udbini, / nami valja Liku ostaviti, / iz nje, djeco, pa se raseliti (we cannot live here like this; / if that is what our life will be here, in the city of Udbina, / we should leave Lika for good, / and disperse, my children, all over the world - 274-277; translated by author). 15 In the famous song about the uprisal against Turks in 1804 The start of the revolt against the Dahiyas (Vuk IV, 24), when rebels with their leader Karadjordje Petrović come to the gates of major towns and ask dahiyas to surrender, they reject Turkish try to negotiate in following verses: te gradove raja nacinila, / gradila ih po devet godina, / kadra ih je za dana oboriti / i sa carem kavgu zametnuti; / a kada se s carem zavadimo, / da ustane svi sedam kraljeva / da nas mire, pomirit nas nece (Remember who it was that built your towns! / the common folk took nine years building them / the common folk can smashthem in a day, / and stand their ground in battle with the Turks. / For we are all prepared and fit for war / and if the seven kings all rise at once / to pacify us, they will find no peace - 580-586; translation Locke 1997). 16 In the Iliad, which in theory of literature is taken as a model of classical epos, the sympaties of both the singer and the audience are on Trojans and the greatest of all the heroes - Hector who is defending his country, city, and family. Greeks are represented as winning but frivolous: arguing about the concubines, sacrifying their own daughters, mutilating the corpse of a hero etc. 17 This was observed relatively early (cf. Smith 1977). Among the later texts see Ljubinkovic 1991. 14 | Mirjana Detelić the most scrutinous observation the basics of epic tradition appear the same. Divergences, though, start with the influences from without - from the Church, Bible and apocrypha with the Christian singers and from the Arabian Nights and Koran with Muslims. But the most important difference between the two is the antiquity and continuity of the Christian, and a certain "newcomer" rootlessness of the other. Choosing only the latter, and thus excluding the other side of the existing epic tradition, Parry and Lord made an exceedingly homogenous corpus of songs, which actually was not even the faintest picture of the real, long lasting and still living epic tradition on the spot. BIBLIOGRAPHY: Chomsky 1986 - Noam Chomsky, Knowledge of Language: its Nature, Origin and Use, New York : Praeger 1986. Detelic 1992 - Мирјана Детелић, Митски простор и епика, САНУ & АИЗ Досије, Београд 1992. Detelic 1996 - Мирјана Детелић, Урок и невеста. Поетика епске формуле, Балканолошки институт САНУ, Београд 1996. Detelic-Ilic 2006 - Mirjana Detelic & Marija Ilic, Beli grad. Poreklo epske formule i slovenskog toponima, SANU - Balkanološki institut SANU 93, Beograd 2006. Foley 1995 - John Miles Foley, The Singer of Tales in Performance, University Press 1995. Indiana Foley 2010 - John Miles Foley, Traditional History in South Slavic Oral Epic in: Epic and History, ed. By David Konstan and Kurt A. Raaflaub, Blackwell 2010, 347-361. Gasparov 1989 - М. Л.Гаспаров, Очерк истории европеискоГо Москва 1989. стиха, Ivanova 1992 - Радост Иванова, Епос, обред мит, БАНУ - Софил 1992. Jakobson 1933 - Roman Jakobson, Uber den Versbau der serbokroatischen Volksepen, Archives Neerlandaises de Phonetique Experimental, VIIIIX(1933) ["O strukturi stiha srpskohrvatskih narodnih epova", Lingvistika ipoetika, Beograd 1966, 146-156]. Also in: Selected Writings I-VI, (ed. by Stephen Rudy). IV: Slavic Epic Studies, The Hague, Paris 1966. Parry-Lord-Foley: And What Can We Do With Them | 15 Ljubinkovic 1991 - Ненад Љубинковић, Теорија формуле А. Б. Лорда у светлурурално-урбаних односа, Македонски фолклор XXIV/47 (1991), 115-122. Ljubinkovic 2010 - Ненад Љубинковић, Краљевић Марко - историја, мит, легенда in: Трагања и одговори. Студије из народне књижевности и фолклора (I), Институт за књижевност и уметност, Београд 2010, 246-25256. Locke 1997 - Geoffrey N.W. Locke, transl. The Sertbian Epic Ballads. An Anthology, Nolit : Belgrade 1997. Loma 2003 - Александар Лома, "Два врана гаврана". Corvus corax у словенској епици - компаративни поглед, Кодови словенских култура 8: Птице, Београд 2003, 109-132. Lord 1981 - Albert B. Lord, The Singer of Tales, Harvard University Press, Cambridge Massachussets - London England 1981. Lord 1986 - Albert B. Lord, Perspectives on Recent Work on the Oral Traditional Formula, Oral Tradition 1/3 (1986), 467-503. MacKenzie 2000 - Ian MacKenzie, Improvisation, Creativity, and Formulaic Language, The Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism, 58/2(2000), 173-179. Malycev 1989 - Г. И. МалБцев, Традиционние необр^довоп лирики, Ленинград 1989. формули русскоп народноп Marjanovic-Dusanic 2007 - Смиља Марјановић-Душанић, Свети Clio, Београд 2007. краљ, Popovic 2006 - Даница Поповић, Под окриљем светости. Култ светих владара и реликвија у средњовковној Србији, Балканолошки институт САНУ, Београд 2006. Radenkovic 1986 - Љубинко Раденковић, "Место истеривања нечисте силе у народним бајањима словенско-балканског ареала", Гласник Етнографског музеја у Београду, 50(1986), 201-222. Schmaus 1937 - Алојз Шмаус, Гавран гласоноша, Прилози проучавању народне поезије 4(1937), 251-256. Smith 1977 - John D. Smith, The Singer or the Song? A Reassessment of Lord's 'Oral Theory', Man, New Series, Vol. 12, No. 1 (1977), 141-153 Stolz-Shanon 1976 - Stolz, Benjamin A. & Shanon, Richard S., eds. Oral Literature and the Formula, Ann Arbor: Center for Coordination of Ancient and Modern Studies 1976. 16 | Mirjana Detelić Suvajdzic 2007 - Бошко Сувајџић, "Јуначке скаске" о Марку Краљевићу in: Иларион Руварац и народна књижевност, Институт за књижевност и уметност, Београд 2007, 125-150. ABREVIATIONS: Vuk III, IV - Вук Ст. Караџић, Сабрана дела Вука Караџића, Српске народне пјесме H-IV, издање о стогодишњици смрти Вука Стефановића Караџића 1864-1964 и двестогодишњици његова рођења 1787-1987, Просвета : Београд 1987. M H IV - Junačke pjesme muhamedovske, knjiga četvrta, uredio Dr Luka Marjanović, Matica hrvatska, Zagreb 1899. Mirjana Detelić PARRY-LORD-FOLEY: I ŠTA ĆEMO DALJE SA NJIMA Rezime: Proučavanje epske formule, koje je tridesetih godina prošlog veka počelo terenskim radom Milmana Perija i Alberta Lorda u Bosni, tokom poslednjih sedam decenija dalo je raznovrsne i značajne rezultate u oblasti ispitivanja epike svih vrsta - klasične, srednjovekovne, moderne, usmene, pisane ili kombinovane. Na međunarodnoj sceni, ova je oblast dobila svoje naučne zvezde, posebne teorije, sopstvenu terminologiju, razrađenu metodologiju. Pa ipak, kada se ukaže potreba da se ovi radovi usklade sa rezultatima domaćih, južnoslovenskih (srpskih, hrvatskih, makedonskih, bugarskih) istraživača, efekti su uglavnom slabi: radovi inostranih stručnjaka ne pogađaju suštinu problema i, čak i kad uspeju da postave pravo pitanje, na njega nude irelevantan ili pogrešan odgovor. Jedan od razloga može biti okolnost da se južnoslovenskom epikom bave uglavnom Amerikanci koncentrisani oko Harvarda i velike zbirke muslimanske epike koju je - kao svoju zaostavštinu - Milman Peri ostavio svom univerzitetu. Zavedeni velikim obimom lako dostupnog materijala, istraživači polaze od njega kao od superiornog izvora prema kome određuju vrednosti i osobine svega ostalog - što je ravno metodološkoj katastrofi, kao kad bi se o dorskom stilu u arhitekturi zaključivalo na osnovu zgrade električne kompanije Sinsinati u Ohaju, a ne na osnovu još uvek postojećih spomenika grčke antike, na primer Partenona na atinskom Akropolju. Upravo zbog toga čak ni iskusni istraživači, poput Džona Majlsa Parry-Lord-Foley: And What Can We Do With Them | 17 Folija, ne mogu izbeći početničke greške u tumačenju nekih elemenata epske poetike koji za domaće istraživače ne predstavljaju nikakav izazov. U ovom radu se pominje Folijev neuspeo pokušaj tumačenja generativnih formula nerođena majka i crna kukavica kao posledica zaključivanja na osnovu pogrešnih, odnosno prekodiranih premisa (nerođeni/nerođena, kao i rođeni/rođena i sinja kukavica su stare slovenske formule koje se ne mogu razumeti ako se konsultuje samo muslimanska epika). Uporedna analiza i muslimanskog i hrišćanskog epskog korpusa, uz poznavanje epskog jezika kao maternjeg, pomogla je domaćim istraživačima da prošire i koriguju osnovne postavke u teoriji epske formule. U slučaju južnoslovenske deseteračke epike, formule se mogu podeliti na tri glavna tipa: najstarije i potpune -prave - formule čija je važnost najveća jer deluju i linearno (povezujući epiku sa drugim usmenim žanrovima) i vertikalno (uspostavljajući vezu među slojevima različite dubine); delimično formirane - rudimentarne - formule (opšta mesta kao belo grlo Arapovo, bela zora/zorica, beli dan, crna zemlja, zelen mač itd.), vrlo slične homerskim; i formule u nastajanju, ono što Foli označava kao "generičke formule", a što su zapravo pokretni i promenljivi nizovi reči prilagođeni asimetričnoj podeli epskog deseterca (4+6). U jednom istom epskom korpusu sva tri tipa formula postoje istovremeno te je vrlo često moguće pratiti nastanak i razvoj prave formule od slogovnog niza do njen pune, zatvorene forme. Idući za potrebama unapređenja homerologije, Peri i Lord nisu imali razloga da traže dalje od generativnih formula koje su im pomogle da reše svoje osnovno pitanje: da li ep koji pređe 10 000 stihova može i dalje biti usmen. Muslimanske epske pesme, same po sebi duge i još - pri tom - motivski zgodne za konkatenaciju, dale su na to pitanje pozitivan odgovor. Ipak, svestan da je time tek načeo problem, Albert Lord je u svojoj čuvenoj knjizi Pevačpriča (prvi put objavljenoj 1960) postavio temelje i za dubinsko istraživanje formula, u malo zapaženom a neobično važnom kratkom pasusu o čudesnoj epskoj krčmi (Lord 1981, 65-66). Ključne reči: epske pesme, epska formula, Južni Sloveni, hrišćani, muslimani

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The Château Lynch Bages 2014 is a blend of 69% Cabernet Sauvignon, 26% Merlot, 3% Cabernet Franc and 2% Petit Verdot matured in 75% new oak. Yields were a respectable 40 hectoliters per hectare, although that figure is less than Jean-Charles Cazes predicted earlier in the season. The nose is well defined with veins of graphite infusing the black fruit: quite strict for Lynch Bages, a little reserved at this early stage. The palate is medium-bodied with chalky tannin, racy acidity although the pH is around 3.7, linear and a little austere on the finish. This is tightly coiled at the moment, gritty in the mouth but I like the Pauillac typicité here - not a million miles away from Grand Puy Lacoste in style. This deserves respect and I suspect it will age with the style of Jean-Charles's father, who turned 80 on the day of my visit. Drink 2018 - 2040.
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Established 2005
Welcome to the St. Louis Powerhitters Volleyball Club website. We trust that it will prove informative and useful. Materials are continuously updated. Established in 2005, the 2016-17 season will be our 12th as a Club, making us one of the oldest and most stable within the Gateway Region. We participate in The Gateway League, the Region's premier volleyball showcase, and routinely in the Girl's Festival, Regional Championships, the Bid Event, National Qualifiers, and USA Volleyball's National Championships.
News of a general Club nature may be found at the Club News & Events link. Team-specific information, such as rosters, and player photographs and profiles, may be found on that Team's home page. All major events and deadlines are placed on the Calendar link, and the website is updated daily.
We cordially invite you to return often for updated information....Kevin Nelson, Club Director
The website is updated as of 7:36 on May 29, 2017.
The 14's, 15's, and 16's will play from June 25 to July 4 at the Minneapolis Convention Center.
This marks the 4th straight year that the Club will have sent at least 3 teams to USAV's National Championships.
On-line registration links have been posted on the Tryouts link, and are now "active." Go to the Tryouts link to register on-line for tryouts.
Tryout dates, times, and locations are as follows:
October 28: 7-9 p.m. - Bernard Middle School = 14's
October 29: 8-10 a.m. - Bernard Middle School = 12's
October 29: 10 a.m.-Noon - Bernard Middle School = 13's
October 30: 8-9:30 a.m. - Washington Middle School - 12's, 13's & 14's make-up tryout
October 30: 7-9 p.m. - Bernard Middle School - Commitment Night for 12's-14's
November 19: 8-10 a.m. - Bernard Middle School = 15's & 16's
November 19: 10 a.m.-12 p.m. - Bernard Middle School = 17's & 18's
November 20: 8-9:30 a.m. -Washington Middle School - 15's, 16's, 17's & 18's make-up tryout
November 21: 7-9 p.m. Bernard Middle School - Commitment Night for 15's-18's
The 13's, 15's, and 17's teams played at the USA Volleyball National Championships in Indianapolis This was the third straight year that the Club will have sent at least 3 to play at Nationals, having done so in New Orleans (2015) and Minneapolis (2014). We look forward to sending several teams to Minneapolis in 2017.
Pictured above are club members who attended the final day of Scott's camp held May 12-14, 2016 at The Pavilion at Lemay. This was an extraordinary opportunity and assisted our teams preparing for the USAV National Championships in Indianapolis.
Scott will return to host a 3 day Powerhitters players-only camp June 20-22, 2017.


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There is a drawback to writing a book with 700 pages worth of comprehensive discussion:
It may not be very comprehensible!
It still might not be very comprehensible even if we're only talking about 125 of those pages--which is about how far I've gotten in Section Two of Sword to the Heart so far.
So before I continue posting up chapters from that Section (and onward through the book), from now until Thanksgiving I thought I would try presenting the precepts I've been talking about once again, in a somewhat briefer and more colorful way--and maybe (hopefully!) in a way our readers will find more meaningful. Or at least easier to read.
These auxiliary chapters are taken from just such a shorter book I wrote years ago, after finishing SttH. Which is why I called it "The Kodachi": a shorter quicker sword. (A hundred pages quicker in this case!)
Where should I begin, in summarizing a massive argument? Not only in summarizing, but in making it more accessible to people less concerned with technical details.
I will begin with something important to me... something more important to me than anything else.
I will begin with true love.
I might (or might not) be able to start on any topic, and eventually reach my conclusions; but this is my testimony, so I will start with my heart.
There is a sword in my heart. I sheathed it there long ago.
Yes, it hurts sometimes.
...sometimes it scours with fire eonian...
If it hurts so much--then why do I keep it there!?
Because I believe this is where that sword belongs.
To explain the sword, I will begin by observing its sheathe.
I am a person. I take my existence seriously. I have rights. I think for myself. I want you to pay attention to me, and treat me as a person. Look!--I am writing a book to present arguments for what I believe to be true! I want the credit for getting anything right. I did this. Me.
But wait--didn't I say I would begin with true love? And yet, here I am blathering on about my person and my importance. Am I in love with myself!?
... ... ... Well, actually--yes sometimes I am.
And no, that isn't good.
And the fact that most of us agree it isn't good (in principle, or to various degrees) for me to be devoted to myself, is very significant. But I will discuss that later.
For the moment, I will simply say that I am not in fact devoted utterly to myself (thank God).
I am utterly devoted to someone else. Someone who is another person; as I am a person. Someone whom I treasure for the person she is.
Someone I choose to sacrifice my own importance for; whatever it costs.
Even if that means I have to leave a hole forever unfilled, in my heart.
And you had better forget suggesting any philosophy to me, that denies her as a person. Ever.
The end. Period.
And yet, I myself am a person, too. It is important to affirm myself as a person.
So you had better forget suggesting any philosophy to me, that denies me as a person, ever.
To be a little more precise: you had better forget suggesting any philosophy to me, that denies her and me, as persons.
And yet (again!); most people in most times and places, would agree that I can think too highly of myself, and that I should not do so.
As long as I love 'her', I can easily see one such limit to my own self-value:
I should never value my own self in any way that de-values her.
So you had better (ever!) forget suggesting any philosophy to me, that inflates me at her expense.
These constraints can be summed up in one more constraint:
If the philosophy you propose, does not have true love at the center of it, I will not ever accept it.
I hope, instead, I would die to deny it.
I hope, instead, I would die to affirm and protect what affirms and protects her--and us.
Even if she does not believe what I believe.
Perhaps you, my reader, now are thinking I am naive; am I not putting rather more value on this 'true love' than really is there?
Not if I take my existence, and especially her existence, seriously.
And 'true love' isn't necessarily romantic love (although all romantic love should be true love, I think.) I could be talking about a mother; a teacher; a sister; a daughter; a cousin; a friend; a mentor. I could even be talking about a man: a father; a brother; a son.
I could be talking about God. (Or Goddess?)
I am thinking of a specific human woman (which is why I said 'her'. Little 'h'.) But I didn't have to be. Ideally, I should be applying these notions to everyone in the world.
I should be applying them to you, my reader.
Certainly, I had better be taking your thoughts and your person-ness seriously, if I am going to bother writing a book for you to read--and arguments for you to judge!
And to be honest: I (probably) don't know you. So I (probably) have very little feeling about you.
But I am willing to act in regard to you. And I am willing to believe, and insist, that you are capable of responsible actions, too... for better, or for worse.
Do I love you as much as I love her?
No. I don't.
But in many ways, I should.
And in some ways--I do.
But--this is hardly a serious approach to philosophy, do you say? Not a respectable approach? Not a scholarly approach?
On the contrary: the core of my belief in true love, involves real actions by real persons in a real common unity.
And every scholar wants to be taken seriously, and to be respected, as a real person, contributing real actions, in common accepted union with other real people. That is why a person presents an argument for judgment.
Every scholar implicitly affirms my core belief.
Even when they do their best to deny my core belief.
And that is what I will talk about next.
[Next up: Reductions and Absurdities]
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There is a drawback to writing a book with 700 pages worth of comprehensive discussion:
6 comments:
- Jason Pratt said...
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- Ron said...
Interesting thoughts. I am reminded of C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed, where he says that if materialism was true and he had mistaken a collection of atoms for his wife, a person, he'd rather reject materialism out of hand. It's not that this is an argument against the truth of materialism (normally philosophical arguments are directed towards truth) but against the existential ability of a person to really affirm it. One is almost obligated to hold out for the other option.
So, I think your argument might be good if geared towards existential realities of actual life. As an argument about the truth of materialism though it does not make any sense to say that materialism is false just because I don't like its conclusions about myself and those I love.
- Jason Pratt said...
{{As an argument about the truth of materialism though it does not make any sense to say that materialism is false just because I don't like its conclusions about myself and those I love.}}
True; but it does illustrate just how far the issues are at stake.
Notice however that at the end I am already shifting over to an issue of "existential reality of actual life" that has far more relevance for conclusions about truth. As I said at the beginning of this entry, this 5-part series is summarizing the precepts of the formal argument I've been chewing over for the past 125 pages, and that argument was about the quality we end up necessarily presuming about ourselves in making any argument.
Our formal presumption of that quality, a presumption of qualitative worth in our own favor, is related to the presumption of personal worth we assign in loving other people, though. So the topics do overlap. The difference is that my love for 'her' does not involve a formal presumption I have to make for purposes of engaging in any argument.
Whereas I do have to make a formal presumption of qualitative worth in your favor in order to engage in any argument with you. {g}
- Metacrock said...
Janson, you may not like to hear it but you are an existentialist and a romantic (in the sense of Johann Gottlieb Fichte
romantic influences on Fichte see Schelling and literature.
I knew there was a lot about you I like.
Incidentally, for our readers: Ron is talking about "eliminative materialism", which is the only sort of materialism that would involve mistaking a collection of atoms for a wife.
Reductive materialism would agree that the wife is real as a person, not only as a cloud of atoms, but that her reality would still be entirely accountable in terms of the behaviors of that cloud of atoms.
Non-reductive materialism, against both reductive and eliminative materialism, would agree that the wife is a real person, but would hold that her reality as a person is not ultimately reducible to (and so not entirely accountable by) her also being a cloud of atoms. Nevertheless the non-reduct-mat would still profess that the wife is in fact only and nothing more than a cloud of atoms, her properties as a person notwithstanding.
While most proponents of any of these materialisms are both atheists and philosophical naturalists, strictly speaking someone could profess a number of other metaphysics than naturalistic atheism and still be one of these materialists. However, in regard to human mentality, an atheist (naturalistic or supernaturalistic) would have to be one of these three I think.
Also, it ought to be obvious that in rejecting philosophies that deny or traduce the personal reality of the beloved, I would be rejecting a lot more than any atheism variants which did so. But for reasons I'll be getting to in the next post (and which I've discussed several times at length already in the main SttH text), my first big decision between metaphysics would be between atheism and not-atheism (or theism) broadly speaking.
And yes, that's one good description for me, Meta. {g}
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