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App Information Flappy 2048
- App NameFlappy 2048
- Package Namecom.game.Flappy2048
- UpdatedMarch 29, 2015
- File Size20M
- Requires AndroidAndroid 2.3 and up
- Version1.2.5
- DevelopereLabs
- Installs50,000 - 100,000
- PriceFree
- CategoryAction
- DeveloperEmail email@example.com 99, 1095 AZ, Amsterdam The Netherlands
- Google Play Link
eLabs Show More...
Flappy 2048 1.2.5 APK
Flappy 2048 is the new frenzy on the block!How about the two most addicting games ever combined intoone?Can you flap your way past 2048? Good luck!...We're Listening To You...We got a lot of good and bad reviews, and we honestly appreciateallof them. We took them seriously and our developers did notsleep formore than a week to make the game perform better, looknicer, bemore entertaining and challenging, and also give you thepossibilityto compete with and compare your flapping skills toother 2048flappers. More nice features will follow :)We take feedback seriously:Therefore, if you happen to stumble upon a bug or if you haveanysuggestions for additional features to be added to the Flappy2048game, we will be happy to consider and improve upon them. Justdropus a line at: email@example.com giving the game a low rating, give us a chancetoimprove.Flappy 2048 comprises now two modes:1) Classic mode - good ole version you all have fallen madly inlovewith or contrarily totally hate it; it works well on deviceswithAndroid 4.2 and above, devices with lower versions of OSmayexperience lags during game play.2) Extreme mode - includes a lot of new and cool features thatwillspice up the game and you will certainly enjoy them; thelevelshould work well on all devices running on Android 2.3andabove.
1000! Puzzle 1.0.3 APK
1000! Puzzle is a challenging game, where youhave to place different-sized pieces on a 10x10 board of squares.The goal is to complete horizontal rows or vertical columns inorder to remove the pieces from the board, and make space for thenext 3 blocks. If you run out of space to place a shape, it's gameover.Score higher, never give up and become the master of 1000 Puzzlegame!
Princess Dress 1.0.1 APK
Do you like Princesses and beautifuldresses?Then this game is exactly for you! You'll not only be abletochoose from a wide variety of different dresses, gloves,shoes,head & hair decorations, but you'll also have fullcontrol overyour character's appearance, as you'll be offered thepossibilityto fully customize her hair, lips, eyes, skin color andmore!★ Features ★✔ Charming Princess✔ Gorgeous dresses✔ Over 15,000+ possible dress up combinations✔ Beautiful background decorations✔ Lovely music✔ Stunning graphics✔ Snapshot picture of your beautiful Princess and share it withyourfriendsLet your imagination fly!If you stumble upon a bug or if you have any suggestionsforadditional features to be added to the Princess Dress game, wewillbe happy to consider and improve upon them. Just drop us a lineat:email@example.com
Circle The Monster 1.0 APK
Are you in for a challenge?Then try to capture this fearsome yellow monster!Beware, don't be fooled! The monster is cute and he will smileatyou, but he is cunning and will easily escape if you getdistracted.Make sure the monster does not escape.Circle The Monster is a brain-picking puzzle game withsomerandom elements of luck.
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**Devices WITHOUT root permissions and withAndroid >= 5.0 (Lollipop), can connect with this app but theyCANNOT view the WEP-WPA-WPA2****Devices WITHOUT root permissions and with Android < 5.0(Lollipop), CANNOT connect with this app and they CANNOT view theWEP-WPA-WPA2**Do you want to know if your Access Point is vulnerable at the WPSprotocol?Wifi Wps Wpa Tester is the app that you need!With this app, you can test the connection to AP with WPSPIN.PINs are calculated with many algorithms:-Zhao-TrendNet-Dlink-Dlink+1-Belkin(root)-FTE-xxx-TrendNet-Asus-AiroconRealtek-EasyBox Arcadyan-ArrisAnd others default PIN of MANY Access Point.Then NOT ALL AP ARE COMPATIBLE WITH THIS APP.App needs root permissions for devices with Android version <5.0 ( LOLLIPOP ).For devices with Android >= 5.0 you can test the PINs with thisapp and you can connect, BUT YOU CANNOT SEE WPA ( OR WEP ) PASSWORDWITHOUT ROOT PERMISSIONS.Use this app only with your own AP for do not go against thelaw.Privacy Policy :https://www.iubenda.com/privacy-policy/8000344
WordPress APK
WordPress for Android puts the power ofpublishing in your hands, making it easy to create and consumecontent. Write, edit, and publish posts to your site, check stats,and get inspired with great posts in the Reader. What's more? It'sopen source.WordPress for Android supports WordPress.com and self-hostedWordPress.org sites running WordPress 3.5 or higher.Visit the forums to get help with the app:http://android.forums.wordpress.org
Blog 0.0.1 APK
Our blog posts include experiment resultsofonline marketing, how to articles, tools and tips for runningyourbusiness, business ideas, online selling, entrepreneurship,startups, success stories, interviews and reviews of relevantbooks.You can visit the web version of ourapp:http://technotip.orgFeatures1. Has a list of 8 recent articles on the homepage and usercannavigate to older blog posts.2. Clear reading experience with bigger fonts on articlepage.3. Facility to bookmark the article and read later frombookmarkssection.4. Cache the recently viewed article for offline reading.5. List of pages.6. Search facility.7. List posts based on Category.8. List posts by author/contributor.9. Invite others to our app via Social Sharing Apps.Option to rate the app.10. Facility to directly share the posts and pages with othersfrominside the app via popular social sharing applications.
WPS Connect 1.3.6 APK
With this app you'll can connect to WiFinetworks which have WPS protocol enabled. This feature was onlyavailable in version 4.1.2 of Android.App developed with educational purposes. I am not responsible forany misuse.Released under license CC BY-NC-ND 4.0:https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/WPS: http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wi-Fi_Protected_SetupWPS Connect is focused on verifying if your router is vulnerable toa default PIN. Many routers that companies install ownvulnerabilities in this aspect. With this application you can checkif your router is vulnerable or not and act accordingly.Includes default PINs, as well as algorithms such Zhao Chesung(ComputePIN) or Stefan Viehböck (easyboxPIN).Tested on:- LG G2- Nexus 5- Samsung Galaxy S3IMPORTANT!!Prior to an assessment, understand that it serves theapplication.
XPOSED IMEI Changer 1.6 APK
ROOT REQUIREDXPOSED FRAMEWORK REQUIREDIF You dont know What is XPOSED Framework then do not try thisapplication (it wont work)Hi Guys,I read about the Xposed framework in xda and other websites.somewebsites have really good tutorials about it.So what I understandis that we can modify a function and its return values using theXposed Framework.I have created and Xposed Module For Changing (MASKING) the IMEINo of the PhoneChange Means How Other Application gets the IMEI No of the deviceusing below codeAs you all know,The Value is not permanent as it is an XposedModule :)XDA-Developers Threadhttp://forum.xda-developers.com/xposed/modules/xposed-imei-changer-t2847187Pro version :https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.vivek.imeichangerproStepsInstall appEnable module in xposed frameworkCome back to app and enter new valuePress ApplyGo to xposed moduleOpen framework pageDo a soft rebootOpen the appAnd you can see new valuecheck the value by dialing *#06#, you can see the new value
Administrator 1.3 APK
Smule Sing! 4.4.3 APK
We all have a voice. Find yours. Sing yourfavorite songs, use audio effects and video filters! Soloprivately, karaoke with friends, connect with singers around theworld, or duet with celebrity artists like Nick Jonas and EdSheeran. Choose from millions of songs, create music videos andshare them with our 50M+ musically minded, supportive community.It's just like karaoke, only better. Sing free today!Featured on Entertainment Tonight, Forbes, and Google Play's BestApps.-----------FEATURES• Sing along to new and classic songs with music and lyrics• Sound like a pro! Add studio polish with our amazing audioeffects• Use pitch correction and reverb to get real-time feedback on yoursinging• Apply video filters to make your recording look moreprofessional! Choose from Selfie, Vintage, Black & White,Sepia, and Fight Club• Share what you make on our global platform to get discovered.Love, comment and share other videos• Upload your song to the Smule Sing! Songbook for other singers toperform• Connect with Facebook to find and karaoke with friends on SmuleSing! Chat with other singers• Duet with the Artist - Shawn Mendes, James Arthur, Jessie J,Jason Derulo, Kylie Minogue, Linkin Park, X Ambassadors, OMI, CarlyRae Jepsen, Charlie Puth, Silento and many more-----------------------------------------------------New songs added every day! Choose from a massive catalog of Pop,R&B, Rock, Rap, Hip Hop, Country, Soundtracks, Latin, K-Pop andmore! Popular on Smule Sing!:POP HITS & BALLADS:* Shape of You - Ed Sheeran* Play That Song - Train* Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes* Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur* Closer - The Chainsmokers, ft. Halsey* 7 Years - Lukas Graham* Rockabye - Clean Bandit, ft. Anne-Marie* Love me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding* All of Me - John Legend* Stay - Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko* Love Yourself - Justin BieberNEW CLASSICS & KARAOKE ESSENTIALS:* Killing Me Softly - The Fugees* I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor* Un-break My Heart- Toni Braxton* Happy - Pharrell Williams* Eye of the Tiger - Survivor* Bohemian Rhapsody - QueenMUSICALS & SOUNDTRACKS:* Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast (Disney)* Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid (Disney)* Let It Go - Idina Menzel (from Frozen by Disney)* Cups (When I'm Gone) - Anna KendrickDon't see your must-sing karaoke jam? Upload to the Smule Sing!Songbook:https://www.smule.com/support/upload#songbookCONNECTING THE WORLD THROUGH MUSIC™We believe that music is much more than just listening— it's aboutcreating, sharing, discovering, participating, and connecting withpeople. It is the original social network with the power to breakdown barriers, touch souls and bring people together from all overthe world.Lots of talents get discovered through our Smule Sing! platform.Love, comment, and share performances to show your support and meetincredible singers from all over the world. Skip the karaoke bar -karaoke free, sing anywhere, show off your talent, and getfans!LOOK GREAT, SOUND LIKE A PRONo matter what kind of singer you are, you can sound amazing everytime with Smule Sing!'s voice enhancement technology. Like being ina recording studio, use special voice effects and video filters tochange the pitch, add reverb, autotune, and smooth overimperfections with our Selfie filter. Love singing along to songson the radio? If you are musically inclined, have imagined singinga solo on stage, performing a duet with a pop star, or joining anacapella group, download Smule Sing! for free today! Smule is asupportive, joyful community where music-making at all levels isencouraged and appreciated.FOLLOW US and keep up with new major artists and featured singerson Sing!http://www.smule.comhttp://www.facebook.com/smulehttp://www.youtube.com/smulehttp://www.twitter.com/smulehttp://plus.google.com/+smuleHave questions on a particular permission?http://www.smule.com/support/sing#android
WiFi Master Key - by wifi.com 4.1.103 APK
With a hundreds of millions of free Wi-Fihotspots shared by our users globally, you can connect to freeWi-Fi with WiFi Master Key (by en.wifi.com - LinkSureSingapore)!Search & connect to shared WiFi hotspots indicated by a BlueKey. Easy and safe.THE WIFI MASTER KEY EXPERIENCE- Cost Savings: Save data costs by connecting to free shared WiFihotspots.- Easy and Fast: just search for the blue key and tap to connectWiFi!- Safe and Secured: All shared password are not revealed. It isencrypted to protect sharer's privacy and security.- Easy to understand in your own language: Available in 19languages across 223 countries and regions.English,Thai, Bahasa Indonesia, Malay, Vietnamese, SimplifiedChinese, Traditional Chinese TW,Traditional Chinese HK, Japanese,Korean, Portuguese, Spanish, Russian, Arabic,Turkish, Hindi,French, Italian, German...more languages coming soon.Disclaimer: WiFi Master Key is not a hacking tool. It does notassist in unlocking passwords of Wi-Fi hotspots that are not sharedby the users. Hacking is illegal.With our growing community of over 900 MILLION users (Chinese andGlobal version combined), we aim to build a trusted platform foreverybody to enjoy the Internet. So, come join the world's largestWiFi sharing community today! If you don't find shared hotspot yet,don't worry, give the community some time to grow. We are handlingover 4 BILLION connections daily and the number is growing rapidly.There will be more and more shared WiFi to help you get connectedonline and surf the Internet free!Rate us to show us your love! It means a lot to keep usgoing!Have a question? Wanna leave a feedback or suggestion? Sure, we'dlove to hear them— tell us here or on our Facebook page!https://www.facebook.com/wifimasterkey.Spread the word, and keep sharing WiFi!
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Flappy 2048 HD 1.0.4 APK
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Roll up on a dangerously fun, wildlyexpansive, and overwhelmingly rich trip to the City of Sin!Enjoy everything Vegas has to offer, from shooting up rival gangsand stealing cars to race down the strip, to pushing your luck atthe casino and customizing your threads. You can even take off intothe sky as you explore every inch of this criminal paradise.WELCOME TO OUTRAGEOUS LAS VEGAS√ Play as a mixed martial arts (MMA) fighting star whose dreams ofbecoming a Battle Royale grand champ clash with a world of theft,gang wars, zombies and more in a BLOCKBUSTER STORY MODE.√ Fight your way through 80 MISSIONS filled with action, autoraces, shooting and more. Use your skills and your brain to counterevery challenge they throw at you.√ Build up clans of criminals to strike from the shadows againstyour many enemies.ENDLESS SANDBOX FUN√ Explore a BIGGER CITY, 9x the size of the previous Gangstar game,for a ridiculously fleshed-out mobile world where you'll alwaysfind something new to do and thefts to commit.√ Perform grand-stand stunts with ragdoll effects that are as funto see succeed as they are to watch fail horribly, thanks toamazing use of the HAVOK PHYSICS engine.√ Watch your name climb the Leaderboards as you overcome grandCHALLENGES including air, water and street auto races, MMA fights,FPS showdowns & more!√ Become Vegas's finest sniper by shooting it up in Carnage &Heist modes.√ Break the bank as you kill it in addictive CASINO GAMES. Theftisn't the only way to make the big bucks!RIDE ON THE WILD SIDE√ Access INSANE WEAPONS like Molotov cocktails, long-range sniperrifles, flamethrowers & an electric guitar! Choose the rightone to counter any threat.√ Stay mobile as you drive CRAZY VEHICLES including monster trucks,muscle cars, tanks & fighter jets. So strap in -- there's noauto-pilot for these dogs of war!√ UPGRADE YOUR SKILLS for more deft theft, sharper sniper strikes,and better race-car control.√ CUSTOMISE YOUR GEAR and look like anything you wish: a mechanizedrobot, boxing champ, shambling zombie, etc.BEYOND THE MORTAL COIL√ Kill zombies, try boxing with robots, and even strike out againstthe shadow clans of HELL itself as your grand story takes you tounbelievable locations.THE STORY:In this third-person shooting game, you play as a rising MMA grandchampion. Framed by the mafia, you are supposed to throw your boutat the fighting event of the year. But when your opponent beats youto the punch and goes down first, famous gang lord Frank Veliano'sperfect plan goes down too. You have just become the most wantedman in the city. In a dog-eat-dog world where crime is everywhere,you will have to hold your gun tight to combat the wildest gangever!Welcome to Las Vegas, where fortunes are made and lives are lostwith a roll of the dice!For fans of FPS action, auto racing, driving (autos or tanks),robots, zombie clans, games with car theft, and free mobilegames._________________________________________Visit our official site at http://gmlft.co/website_ENCheck out the new blog at http://gmlft.co/centralDon't forget to follow us on social media:Facebook: http://gmlft.co/SNS_FB_ENTwitter: http://gmlft.co/SNS_TW_ENInstagram: http://gmlft.co/GL_SNS_IGYouTube: http://gmlft.co/GL_SNS_YTThis app allows you to purchase virtual items within the app andmay contain third party advertisements that may redirect you to athird party site.Terms of Use: http://www.gameloft.com/en/conditions-of-usePrivacy Policy: http://www.gameloft.com/en/privacy-noticeEnd-User License Agreement: http://www.gameloft.com/en/eula
Injustice: Gods Among Us 2.15 APK
Build an epic roster of DC super heroes andvillains and get ready for battle! INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US is afree-to-play collectible card game where you build a roster ofcharacters, moves, powers, and gear and enter the arena intouch-based 3-on-3 action combat.FIGHTUse the touch screen mechanics of your mobile device to battle yourenemies in 3-on-3 action combat. Swipe and tap to perform combosand build your power to pull off special attacks and super movestaken straight from the console version of the game.LEVEL UPBuild your move set, increase your powers, upgrade your charactersand gear, and beat your competition. Constantly evolve your cardcollection to fit your style of play and put your best team forwardas you take on a series of DC super hero and villiancombatants.zONLINE MULTIPLAYERTake on real opponents in Online Multiplayer Battles. Competeagainst players worldwide on the leaderboards, and in tournamentsfilled with awesome rewards. Watch replays of your previousoffensive and defensive battles to hone your skills and your teamlineup. Lead your team to victory!MASSIVE ROSTERCollect and play as your favorite DC Comics icons: Superman,Batman, Wonder Woman, The Joker, Green Arrow, Flash, Bane, GreenLantern, Doomsday, and many others. With each alternate version ofthese iconic characters you get a new set of powers and moves, anda whole new fight!AMAZING GRAPHICSDelivers best-in-class graphics on your phone or tablet, withcustom animations for every single super hero and villain. Take thebattle to Arkham Asylum, the Batcave, The Watchtower, and othericonic locales from DC Comics, fully rendered in 3D.Please Note: INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US is free to play, but itcontains items that can be purchased for real money.
WWE Immortals 2.4 APK
Take your favorite WWE Superstars out of thering and into the supernatural world of WWE IMMORTALS. WieldDEVASTATING POWERS to demolish opponents with innovativetouch-based combat from the makers of Injustice and Mortal Kombat.SUPERCHARGE YOUR ROSTER with spectacular signature moves, gear andsupport cards. Bring the pain during live BONE-CRUNCHING BATTLEStied to WWE events.FIGHTUse the touch screen mechanics of your mobile device to do epicbattle with your enemies in 3-on-3 combat. Swipe and tap to performcombos and build your power to pull off special attacks and useeach Superstars's customized superpower.MASSIVE ROSTERCollect and play as fantastical versions of your favorite WWESuperstars: Triple H, John Cena, The Undertaker, The Bella Twins,The Rock, Stone Cold, and many more. Each iconic Superstar comeswith unique variations, featuring special powers and moves.LEVEL UPBuild your move set, increase your powers, upgrade your characters,and conquer your competition. Constantly evolve your roster to fityour style of play and put your best Immortals forward as you takeon a series of combatants.ONLINE MULTIPLAYERTake on real opponents in Online Battles and compete againstplayers around the world in live, in-game events tied to the WWEand earn awesome rewards.AMAZING GRAPHICSDelivers best-in-class graphics on your phone or tablet, withcustom animations for every single WWE Superstar. Engage in battleacross multiple worlds, all tailored for each Superstar'salter-ego, fully rendered in 3D.
GUNSHIP BATTLE: Helicopter 3D 2.5.41 APK
The world's most powerful combat helicoptersare at your fingertips.★★★ 70 million downloads!!! ★★★Become a helicopter pilot and engage in combat missions across theworld.Select from a variety of rotary and fixed-wing VTOL aircraft tocomplete your missions.『GUNSHIP BATTLE』 is a helicopter action game that combines stunning3D graphics with flight control simulation and engaging militaryscenarios to pull you into an immersive combat experience themoment you start the game.【 Features 】★ Enjoy controls optimized for 3D flight.★ Select from a wide range of helicopters, each with uniquecharacteristics.★ Arm your chopper with a variety of weapons and equipment.★ Complete missions in Episode mode inspired by real-lifeconflicts.★ Challenge yourself with the next mission or replay a custommission.★ Also optimized for tablet devices.If you enjoy FPS, shooting, or racing games, this is the perfectgame for you.You'll find yourself whirling through the skies across intensecrossfire."Fun and engrossing" - Pocketmeta"Perfectly suited for any action players out there" - Appzoom"Fans of the genre should try this game" - AppgamerThis game is free to play, but you can choose to pay real money forsome in-game items. Please note that some paid items may not berefundable depending on the type of item.----Find news on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/gunshipbattle.en
WARSHIP BATTLE:3D World War II 2.3.2 APK
Thrilling news for the over 70 million fans ofGunship Battle!Take the battle to the seas in WARSHIP BATTLE, a 3D warship actiongame, with missions inspired by the historic naval clashes of WorldWar II.From the USS Arizona to the HMS Bulldog, take control of authenticWorld War II era vessels and steer them through epic naval battlesto glorious victory!Game Features- High quality 3D graphics despite compact app size- Fast paced naval battles with authentic warships from the WorldWar II era- Customize your warships with different weapons and parts to winthe battle- Episodes and hidden missions based on real WWII navalbattles.- No network connection is required after downloading thegameThis game is free to play, but you can choose to pay real money forspecial in-game items.[Access Authorizations in JOYCITY Games]1. Access to Contacts(When logging into the game) It is essential to be able to identifythe Google account registered in the device for Google Login.[Access to Contacts] includes information to read the Googleaccount. You will be unable to login to the game if you deny theaccess request.2. Access to Photos, Media, and Files(When registering/editing profile) Access to [Photos, Media, andFiles] saved in the device is required when you register/editaccount profile image. Login and gameplay will not be affected evenif you deny the access.* Phrases used in [ ] may differ based on the device and OSversion.


text:
Next Episode of Wynonna Earp is
Season 2 / Episode 1 and airs on 10 June 2017 02:00
Based on the IDW Comic, Wynonna Earp follows Wyatt Earp's great granddaughter as she battles demons and other creatures. With her unique abilities, and a posse of dysfunctional allies, she's the only thing that can bring the paranormal to justice.After years away, Wynonna Earp has traveled back to her home town of Purgatory to reluctantly take on the role destined for Wyatt Earp's heir: Demon protector. Her enemy: Revenants, the resurrected (and twisted) souls of the criminals Wyatt Earp once took down. Using only her wits and her wit, Wynonna, along with sister Waverely, associate Agent Dolls and Wyatt's cursed-with-immortality-best-friend Doc Holliday, must try to stop the Revenants from taking over the town - and escaping into the world.
Wynonna and Xavier learn that there's a revenant with a weapon that Bobo fears, and goes looking for him. Meanwhile, Doc considers leaving Purgatory, and Wynonna learns what Xavier has been hiding.
Cryderman unleashes his own plan to dispose of Xavier and the Earps, while Wynonna and Waverly deal with the return of their sister. Meanwhile, Doc tries to leave Purgatory and receives a warning from an enigmatic stranger.
Bobo makes his move to acquire the Lead and escape the Ghost River Triangle. Meanwhile, Willa remembers her past and who freed her from Bobo.
Bobo and his double-agent make their attempt to escape the Triangle, and Wynonna discovers that the curse does more than just keep the revenants in Purgatory. Meanwhile, Lucado takes measures against Xavier, and Neadley chooses a side.
Shamier Anderson(Deputy Marshal Xavier Dolls)
Tim Rozon(Doc Holliday)
Melanie Scrofano(Wynonna Earp)
Dominique Provost-Chalkley(Waverly Earp)
Looks like something went completely wrong!
But don't worry - it can happen to the best of us,
- and it just happened to you.
Please try again later or contact us.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Obviously, you bought your Medallion because you understood you would be getting a variety of special features and American style both rolled up into one car, truck, or SUV. Eagle automobile enthusiasts have come to expect a certain level of reliability when driving their Medallion around town. You purchased your Medallion because its reliability and economical pricing appealed to your senses; so why would you be okay with anything but the best when it comes to superior quality auto parts? Auto enthusiasts know that value is built into each Eagle, and know that only top quality replacement Medallion parts will suffice when maintenance needs to be done.
The ability to slow down and make quick evasive maneuvers is absolutely vital to protecting your car. But it wasn't until a few decades after the first cars were produced that drum brake shoes were invented. Drum brake shoes were used ubiquitously before brake pads, and your Eagle Medallion uses them inside the drums. Much like all brake systems, hydraulic pressure is the agent responsible for making the Eagle Medallion drum brake shoes create friction. The brake shoes make contact with the inside of the drums; creating friction which causes your car or truck to slow down.
When your Eagle needs a top quality replacement Drum Brake Shoes, there's no need to waste time looking anywhere other than the authority, Car Parts Discount. Trust in the value of the parts you get from carpartsdiscount.com and save time and money on all your upcoming repairs. Don't let a broken Drum Brake Shoes spell the end of your car, truck, or SUV, and don't gamble with its condition by installing anything but the highest quality repair parts. Just choose your year from the list below to find the right Eagle Medallion Drum Brake Shoes for your 1989, 1988 model.


text:
do it the Syrian way ,by proxy with Foreign mercenaries /terrorist combined with traitors/criminals inside Russia and will do it after they manage to default Russia economy or
get them isolated in the world from Europe.
So Russia needs much more tanks than all the numbers told here.
Russia already have near 1,000 T-90 tanks.. it will be good that they upgrade them to T-AM.
Russia have near 5,000 T-72 old ones.. it will be good that Russia upgrade them to T-72b3.
When it comes to Armata , Russia needs to secure many fronts , from very dangerous enemies local and external. That said..
~About 12,000 T-14/T-15/Boomerang.Armata tanks Russia needs.
1)3,000 armata for the far east
2) 500 for Caucasus
3) 1,000 through all border with Ukraine ,
4) 1,000 with border with baltics and stpeterburg.
5) 1,000 near Russia artic near Norway.
6) 500 of Kaliningrad.
7) Another 3,000 in reserve for central Russia to be supplied to any place need.
8)and another 1,000 tanks in the Area of Armenia in case needs to defend against Turkey.
9)and about 700 for Crimea in case need to invade Ukraine from there
the T-72 and t-90 tanks should be used against low level insurgency and Armata against
well armed terrorist with NATO weapons. or NATO powers.


text:
Subj: Cow and Sheep Jokes
(Includes 57 jokes and articles, 01 1054n,8,cif,wYT2a3,4)
Click "Here" for Cow_Sheep-Supp
Angry Bull from
Animated Cliparts
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Falling
ASCII ART II - 'ASCII Cow Art'
AUSTRALIAN - 'Cattle Trains In Australia' - Article/Video
......................- 'Lost Australian Sheep'
BALLS file - 'Cojones'
BLONDE file - 'Two Sisters Buy A Bull'
Bugs-Etc - 'Man Afraid Of Bees Is Tied To Tree'
CLINTONSCNTL1- 'Milk...'
COLLEGE-GRAD - 'Vet School Students Learn Lesson'
COWBOY2 file - 'Rodeo Teeter-Totter' - Video
......................- 'Bull Riding - Cartoon'
DOCTOR3 file - 'Doctor Sleeps With Patient'
ELDERLY4-SUPP- 'A Cow, An Ant And An Old Fart'
......................- 'A Group Of Elderly Tour Holland'
FACTS4 file - 'Golf Match Ends'
FAIRY TALES - 'Mary Had A Little Lamb - Poem'
FARMER1 file - 'World's Biggest Dairy Farm'
......................- 'The Farmer And The Gub'ment Official'
......................- 'Farmer Sues Railroad Over Missing Cow'
......................- 'Courting On The Porch And Watching The Cows'
FARMER2 file - 'Charges For Servicing A Cow'
......................- 'Farmer Explains Mad Cow Disease'
......................- 'Carnation Milk Contest'
......................- 'Farmer Serves On A Jury'
......................- 'Farmer Gets Help For Impotent Bull'
FART file - 'Ole Buys Cow In Nordakota'
GOLF1 file - 'Golfer Hurt On Course'
IRISH1 file - 'Paul McCartney Tells A Dirty Joke' - Video
JOBS2 file - 'Lesson number two: The Turkey and the Bull'
MARRIAGE6 - 'Marriage Vs Free Milk'
NATIVE AMERCN- 'Politician Visits Reservation'
.........NUDIST file - 'A Herd Of Sheep'
NUNS2 file - 'Dying Mother Superior'
POLACK file - 'Town's Cow Stops Giving Milk'
POLIT-CLINTON- 'Clinton's Driver Runs Over A Pig'
POETRY file - 'Walking A Crooked Path'
......................- 'My First Time'
REDNECK-SUPP - 'Sheep Lovers - Cartoon'
.........SHIT file - 'Two Airplane Passengers Talk
......................- 'Fly Eats Cow Manure'
TEST-FACES6 - 'Cow With Hidden Picture'
THOUGHTS-TIME- 'Reaction Time Test' - Game
TRAIN file - 'Cow On The Tracks'
TREES file - 'Pheasant Wants To Climb A Tree'
WORD JOKES1 - 'The Meaning Of Service'
Subj: Boundin (S971d)
Written and Directed by Bud Luckey
From: Gary Wing Wing on Facebook
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/_x3_YvFD_Bs
Source2: https://www.facebook.com/jared.wagner.75/videos/10203042598944590/
.......Click 'HERE' to see this musical story about a
.......sheep who loses his confidence after being sheared.
Subj: Primary School Visits Farm (S175, S599b)
From: Newsgroup: rec.humor.funny
(See 'Pepito Learns To Add' in SCHOOL1)
My wife is a primary school teacher,
and related this tale
after another class returned from a trip to a working farm.
My wife asked little David if he had enjoyed the trip.
David: "Yes it was great - we
saw sheep, horses, goats, and
Wife: "er, fine, fine. I know what the sheep and the rest are,
but what is a fucker?"
David: "Oh, they're the animals that give us milk"
Wife: "but who said they were called, er, fuckers?"
David: "that was our teacher. Well actually she called them
"effers", but we all knew what she meant."
Man Plays Trombone In Field (S925d)
Published by Farmer Derek Klingenberg
From: Ernestine Gustin on Facebook
Guy playing trombone in an open
field.. watch what happens!
Click 'HERE' to see this very pleasant, four minute video.
Subj: Stud Bulls At The State Fair (S299, S595c)
From: RFSlick on 10/23/2002
A man takes his wife to the State
Fair and one of the
exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They come up to the
first pen and there is a sign that says: "This Bull mated
50 times last year." The wife pokes her husband in the
ribs and says "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little further
and see another pen with a
sign that says: "This Bull mated 120 times last year."
The wife hits her husband and says "That's more than twice
a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walk further and a third
pen has a Bull with a sign
saying "This Bull mated 365 times last year." The wife
gets really excited and says "That's once a day. You could
REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looks at her and
says......"Go up and ask him
if it was with the same cow." After many surgeries and
years of therapy, he is now able to walk and talk again.
Subj: Shepherd Makes A Bet (S196, S593b)
From: WSelwa on 10/30/2000
(Also see 'The Programmer's Vacation' in PROGRAMMER)
A Shepherd knows his sheep.....
A shepherd was herding his flock
in a remote pasture when
suddenly a brand-new BMW X5 advanced out of a dust cloud
towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci
shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window
and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many
sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man,
obviously a yuppie, then
looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers:
"Sure. Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his
Dell notebook computer. He connects it to his AT?T cell
phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls
up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on
his location. He feeds it to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
Then the young man opens the
digital photo in Adobe Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm
Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He
uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color,
150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and turns to the
shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
That's right. Well, I guess
you can take one of my sheep,"
says the hepherd. He watches the young man select one of
the animals and looks on amused as the young man begins to
stuff it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the
young man: "Hey, if I can tell
you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my
sheep?" The young man thinks for a second and then says,
"Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant," says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the
yuppie, "but how did you
guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered
the shepherd. "You showed
up here even though nobody called you; you want to get
paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never
asked; and you know nothing about my business. Now give
me back my dog."
Subj: Cow With Faces (S991)
From: George Takei on Facebook on 1/10/2015
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BAH54IRhvOZ/
Subj: Reporter In A Small Town (S146, S592b)
From: scott_pryor on 99-02-12
Passing through a small rural
town one day, a reporter from
a big city newspaper decided to write a human-interest story
on the little community. Seeking input from the locals, the
reporter drove along until he spotted an old man sitting on
his porch stoop. The reporter parked his car, approached the
old man and explained his desire to write a story about the
town. The friendly old man agreed to an interview.
Hoping to write a light-hearted
article, the reporter asked
the old man to describe one of the best times he ever exper-
ienced while living in the town. The old man thought for a
minute and said, "You know, once a nearby farmer lost one of
his sheep. All the men in town got together and went looking
for it. When we found the sheep, we all got drunk on moon-
shine and fucked it. Yep, that was probably the best time I
ever had around these parts."
Obviously unable to print this
response in the newspaper, the
reporter asked the old man if he could please relay another
enjoyable event. The old man thought for a bit and said,
"There was the time when one of my neighbors lost his wife
and all of us men in town got together and went looking for
his wife. When we found her, we all got drunk on moonshine
and fucked her. Now that was a good time too, almost as good
as the sheep."
By this time the reporter was
shaking his head because he
couldn't use anything the old man had said so far. Rather
than give up, the reporter decided to try a different approach
and asked the old man to recall one of the worst times he had
experienced in the town. The old man replied, "Well...there
was that time when I got lost."
Subj: Cow-ism (Cows and Politics) (S124, DU)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-11-30
You have 2 cows, your neighbor on your left takes one cow,
and the one on the right takes the other; while your backyard
neighbor takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price
or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you
not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks
the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires
you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull, which you use
to breed, to the other cow. Then you create a great website
and start offering to export sperm from the bull to anyone
and everyone, especially emerging markets, over the Internet.
After a few weeks, your company
completes its IPO on NASDAQ,
and a few brokerage firms start coverage with a strong buy
rating for this wonderful new Internet stock. Your stock
zooms from the $0.10 per share initial offering price to
$110, when you sell. The stock plummets back to $0.10 a few
months later when the dopes who bought it realize that your
business has no earnings and never will, despite the
Internet connection.
Several law firms and the SEC
bring various civil and
criminal actions against the company, all of the officers
and directors and (of course) you under various fraud
theories. You quickly settle the civil cases so the lawyers
get paid, but you still have plenty stashed away. You plead
nolo in the SEC case, and you are sentenced to 10 years in
prison, of which you actually serve 7 weeks. When you come
out, you can't resist the temptation to buy 2 chickens. Then...
You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly-listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-
law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you can get all 4 cows back,
with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of
6 cows are then transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to
a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority share-
holder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows milk back to the
listed company and proceeds from the sales are deferred. The
annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an
option on 1 more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because of
the bad feng shui.
You have 2 cows, you sell one and buy a bull; you then sell
all the excess milk to the government who in turn ships it
to fascist and communist governments.
You have 2 cows, you give them to the government;
and the government gives you some milk.
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.
You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk.
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk.
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
You have 2 cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
You have 2 cows. Your neighbors vote for someone to tell
you who gets the milk.
The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for
it. After the election, the president is impeached for
speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair
You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go
mad. The government does nothing.
You have 2 cows. The government fines you for illegally
keeping 2 unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
NEW DEALISM (FDR Version)
You have 2 cows, you shoot one, milk the other one; then
pour the milk down the drain.
You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take care of them and sells you the milk.
You have 2 cows. They get married and adopt a calf.
You have 2 cows, the government shoots you and keeps the cows.
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a
symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongerish, intolerant
past) 2 differently-aged (but no less valuable to society)
bovines of non-specified gender.
You have 2 cows, you give one to your neighbor.
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them
in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take
care of all the cows. The government gives you as much
milk as you need.
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them
in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens
the government took from the chicken farmers. The government
gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you
should need.
You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
You have 2 cows. The government takes them and denies they
ever existed. Milk is banned.
You have 2 cows, Mother Nature zaps the cows, turning their
udders into eternal milk-shake dispensers.
You have two cows. You keep them both, force them to produce
the milk of four cows, then act surprised when they drop dead.
Subj: You Have Two Cows Vers. II (S352, DU)
From: niner282003 on 10/31/2003
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Instead of giving your neighbor one of your cows, you write
to your congressman, demanding that he pass legislation for
more government programs to help your neighbor get a cow.
You hold a concert to raise awareness for the cow-lessness.
Barbara Streisand sings for the cow-less, who couldn't attend
because ticket prices are so expensive that only people with
3 or 4 cows can afford to attend. You wear a ribbon that
signifies that you care about cowless people, even though
you really haven't done anything to help them at all.
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on
the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You
spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down
sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn
to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the
top of their class at cow school.
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
You have two cows but you don't
know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have four cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have eight cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
really have.
You have all the cows in Afghanistan,
which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim
a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting
to milk them.
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef.
PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help
"working cows".
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of
your farm "for the children".
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you
groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is
Bush's fault.
Subj: Our Future Transportation System (S410b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/25/2004
Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
Subj: Bull Auction (S125b, S594)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #274 on 98-11-22
This couple goes to an agricultural
show way out in the
countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the
auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls
announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine
specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in
the ribs, and comments,
"See! That was more than 5 times a month!" The second
bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder
reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband,
"Hey, that's some 10
times a month. What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband
is getting really annoyed with this comparison. The
third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary
specimen reproduced 365 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on
the arm and yells, "That's
once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"
The husband was pretty irritated
by now, and yells back,
"Sure, once a day!... But ask the auctioneer if they
were all with the same cow!!!"
Subj: Farmer Delivers A Baby Calf (S62, DU)
From: RFSlick on 98-04-08
A man was helping one of his
cows give birth, when he
noticed his 4-year son standing wide-eyed at the fence,
soaking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Great...he's
4 and I'm gonna have to
start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump
the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
After everything was over, the
man walked over to his
son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one." gasped the still wide-eyed lad.
"How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
Subj: A New Bull At The Farm (S182, S590)
From: darrellvip on 5/9/2008
A farmer down the road had a
fairly large herd of cows and
three bulls. Each bull keeping a strict eye on his portion
of the cows. A rumour comes around that the farmer is going
to get another bull and the three bulls are standing in the
field discussing this.
The first bull says, "Well, there's
no way he's going to get
any of my cows."
The second bull agrees, "Yeah,
I'm not giving up any. He can
wait till next year and get some of the new ones."
The third bull who was a bit
smaller says, "I don't have as
many as you guys so I'm not giving any up."
Finally, the new bull arrives.
The first three gather at the
edge of the field to watch him being unloaded from the trailor.
To their consternation, the biggest, meanest Brahma bull they
have ever seen comes strolling down the ramp and glares at them.
He's at least three times bigger than any of them.
The first bull looks around nervously
and says, "Well now, I
suppose it would be a neighbourly thing to give this guy some
cows. I think I'll give him twenty of mine."
The second bull says, "Yeah,
I guess so, I'll give him thirty of
They look over at the small bull.
He's busy pawing the grass,
snorting, and shaking his head. The first bull says "Son, let
me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your
cows and live to tell about it."
The third Bull says "Shoot, he
can have ALL my cows. I'm just
making sure he knows I'm a bull!"
Subj: Farmer's Family And Cow Die (S167, S603b)
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
On a farm out in the country
lived a man and a woman and
their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke,
and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture,
she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the
field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could
she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a
depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the farmer awoke to find
his wife dead, as well as
the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the
situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to
discover his parents dead
(and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river
and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered
a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all
and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have
sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents
and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four
times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the
mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke
up. After discovering what
had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.
The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten
times in a row, I will make everything right." And while
the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to
satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son woke up and
saw his parents dead, the dead
cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that
life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river
to throw himself in. And there he also metthe mermaid.
"I have seen all that has happened,
and I can make every-
thing right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times
in a row." The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not
twenty times in a row?"
The mermaid was somewhat taken
aback by this request. Then
he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And
even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said,
"Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough!!
Okay, if you will have sex with
me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back
to perfect health."
Then the young son asked, "Wait!
How do I know that thirty
times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"
Subj: Farmer Buys A Milking Machine (S29, S604c)
From: TheBartend on 97-08-13
(Also see 'Farmer
Serves On A Jury'
and 'Farmer Buys A Milking Machine II' in FARMER2)
A farmer goes to his local farm
equipment store and tells
the salesman he wants to buy a milking machine. "Certainly,
sir. Right this way," says the salesman. "How many cows
will you be milking?"
"Just one," says the farmer.
"Oh," says the salesman.
"Well, sir, I really wouldn't
recommend a milking machine for only one cow. You could
milk three cows by hand in the time it would take you to
set up the machine and clean it afterwards."
"I said I want a milking machine.
Now, are you going to
sell me one, or not?" the farmer replies indignantly.
"Well, sure, I'll sell you one
if that's what you want.
Just making sure, that's all," says the salesman.
The salesman shows the farmer
the milking machines and the
farmer picks one out, after reiterating to the salesman
that, yes, he really does want the machine even though he
only has one cow. After he's rung up the sale, the
salesman's curiosity gets the best of him. "Sir, if you
don't mind my asking, why are you so insistent on buying
this milking machine even after all I've said?"
"Well," says the farmer, "I got
a new cow a couple of
weeks ago. The first time I tried to milk her, I tried
from the left side and she put her left foot in the bucket.
The next day, I tried milking her from the right side
and she put her right foot in the bucket. The third day,
I tried milking her from behind and she put her tail in
the bucket. The fourth day, being fed up, I tied her left
leg to the left side of the barn, her right leg to the
right side of the barn, and her tail to the rafter. Now
if you can convince my wife that all I wanted to do was
milk that cow, I won't need this milking machine."
Subj; Inseminating A Cow (DU)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #205 on 97-10-26
A farmer is giving his wife last-minute
before heading to town to do some business.
"That fellow from Sematol will
be along this afternoon to
inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the right
stall so's you know which one I want him to impregnate."
Satisfied that even his mentally
challenged wife could
understand the instructions, the farmer left for town.
That afternoon, the "Inseminator"
arrives, and the wife
dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the
stall with the nail.
"There's the nail so this is
the cow right here." she
tells him.
"What's the nail for?" the guy asks.
Replies the wife, "I guess its to hang up your pants."
Subj: Short Cow and Sheep Jokes
Subj: Service (S288b, S601c)
From: mombear1 on 8/6/2002
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the
meaning of the word "service." The act of doing things
for other people.
Then I heard the terms Internal
Revenue Service, Postal
Service, Civil Service, Service Stations... And I became
confused about the word "service." This is not what I
thought "service" meant.
Then one day, I overheard two
farmers talking and one of
them mentioned that he was having a bull service a few
of his cows.
SHAZAM!! It all came into
perspective. Now I understand
what all those "service" agencies are doing to us...
Reaction Time Test (S476b in Thoughts-Time)
From: darrell94590 on 2/28/2006
Subj: A Guy Walks In With A Sheep (S472, S646)
From: Dickschu on 1/29/2006
Voted Best Joke of the Year 2006 in Australia:
A guy walks into the bedroom
carrying a sheep in his
arms and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to
when you have a headache." The wife, laying in the
bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't
such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous
bitch, you'd realize I was wasn't talking to you."
The Running Of The Bulls (S470b in Othr-Nats)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/18/2006
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
Subj: Cows vs Aliens (S378b, DU)
From: drgolfmd on 4/28/2004
Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing that
our government can track a cow born in Canada almost
three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps
in the state of Washington. Also they track her
calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate
11 million illegal
aliens wandering around our country.
The obvious solution is to give
every illegal alien
a cow.
It Is Milking Time (S456b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/20/2005
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
Subj: Cow Poke (S325, S602c)
From: jerry on 4/22/03
Before complaining about your job, think about Ernie
Munck who "arms cows" for a living. In veterinarian
speak, "arming cows" has to do with sticking you hand
way inside a cow's butt to dislodge an intestinal blockage.
But always the optimist, Muck,
er Munck, says that the
good part of the job is that on cold days one hand will
be warm. This was the best thing he could think of.
WPVI (Philadelphia) 14-Apr-03
World Class Holstein (S419)
From: Buffalo's Jokes on 02/02/05
Source: (Removed from buffalosjokes.com)
Subj: Milk Baths (S205, S600c)
From: rlr29 on 10/28/2000
(Also see 'Blonde Wants Milk Bath' in MAILMAN-ETC
and 'Mutts Comic Strip' in OTHER2-DRAWINGS)
Two young girls were talking and one couldn't help but
notice how pretty and beautiful the other's skin was. So
she asked her outright what made her skin so soft and
"Well, once a week I fill a bathtub
up with milk and just
soak in it."
So the one girl went to a farm
and spoke to the farmer.
"I'd like to buy a lot of milk."
"How much?" asked the farmer.
"Well, quite a lot because I'm going to soak in it."
He asked, "Pasteurized?"
"No, just up to my neck."
Subj: Two English Cows (DU)
From: Playboy January 1997
A couple of English cows were lying in a meadow. "What do
you think about this mad cow disease? one said.
"I don't bloddy care," the other replied, I'm a helicopter."
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
Whatdaya call a cow you pick
up and toss?
-- Chuck roast!
Whatdaya call a cow with two legs?
-- Lean Beef.
What does a cow with short legs have?
-- Dragon Milk
What do you call a cow up on its two hind legs?
-- rare beef.
Whatdaya call a cow with no legs?
-- Ground Beef.
Whatdaya call a dog with no legs?
-- Doesn't matter, he ain't gonna come anyway...
-- John Braden (S124, S597)
Why do they put bells on cows?
Because their horns don't work! -- Jim Luettgen
In 1984, a Canadian farmer began renting ad space on his cows.
A farmer is milking his cow.
As he is milking, a fly comes
along and flies into the cows ear. A little bit later, the
farmer notices the fly in the milk. The farmer looks up
and says, "Hmph. In one ear, out the utter." -- Mr. Ed
Most Middle Eastern countries
recognize the following
Islamic law: After having sexual relations with a lamb, it
is a mortal sin to eat its flesh." (umm ok, I'm sure the
lamb appreciates that one)
From: Daemonic Funnies Page on 12/1/97
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain
For more Twain quotes see 'Twain on Government' in POLITICAL2.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
From: grs on 98-04-05
If a cow laughed. would milk come out her nose?
From: humorlist-digest V2 #115 on 98-05-10
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
From: RFSlick on 98-04-08
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
From: humorlist-digest V2 #190 on 98-08-15
Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs!
From: auntieg on 98-11-14 (S182)
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough
leather for a year's supply of footballs.
From: smiles on 6/10/99
Knock Knock
Who's There
Cows Go
Cows Go WHo?
Nooo, cows go MOOOO!
From: CHRISDADDYG on 3/15/2001 (S216)
Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins
into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot
'round the world.
From: mjsl on 12/3/2002 (S305b)
"Sometimes you've just got to grab the cow by the tail
and face the music." -- An Induhvidual
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/28/2004
Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
Daisy says to Dolly,"I was artificially inseminate
this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
Q: What happens when I short-legged
cow tries
to jump a fence?
A: It's an udder disaster.
Q: What do you call a cow with
no front legs?
A: Lean Beef
Q: What do you call a cow with
no legs?
A: Ground beef
From: humorlist-digest V2 #4 on 98-01-04
Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they're all pigs.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #115 on 98-05-10
Q: Why do they put bells on cows?
A: Because their horns don't work!
Q: What do you call a sleeping
A: A bulldozer.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #195 on 98-08-23
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What kind of milk makes you
A: Past eur ized -- Shannarra
From: coreymac on 6/26/2001 (S231b)
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep
under each arm?
A: A pimp.
From: www.huumor.com on 8/6/01 (S237)
Q: What's the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease?
A: The number of tits!
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/16/2005 (S421b)
Q: What do you call a cow that had an abortion?
A: Decaffeinated.
-(o o)-
............................Mad cow from Smiley_Central.


text:
The Stevenson Elementary School K-Kids have been actively working to help the residents of Creekwood Nursing Home to have a Merry Christmas!
As Carol Kees, FRSC at Stevenson Elementary meets with this dedicated group of students, they creatively designed their own version of Christmas cards that were delivered on Friday Dec. 18, the last day of school for the year.
This kind act may be the only Christmas card some of the residents may receive. The students' goal is to place a smile on each resident's face and bless them with Christmas wishes. Once again, we are blessed to have Carol Kees at Stevenson, as she and our students bless others!
The SES K-Kids delivered home made Christmas cards to the residents of Creekwood Nursing Home.
Photos submitted The Stevenson K-Kids include (left side from front) Reese Croslin, Meredith Chapman, Madison Penrod, Jordin Morris, Lily Buffa, (right side, from front) Caiden Embry, Anna Ragland, Graciann Beard, Clifton Faughn and Camden Phillips.


text:
Red Hat Bugzilla – Bug 754419
Configuration objects required to specifically contain required properties even though those are required to have default values
Last modified: 2011-12-15 10:35:02 EST
Description of problem:
Throughout our codebase, we have this basic assumption - if a configuration property is required, we assume it exists in the supplied configuration object.
Now from a usability point of view, there should be no need to supply those unless their values differ from the default value specified in the configuration definition.
This is of course not a problem when accessing RHQ through GUI, because GUI takes care of that, but there is a number of remote API methods that either directly or indirectly use a Configuration class in their parameters. A remote user shouldn't have to be required to slavishly repeat the default values on required properties.
The "impact surface" of this bug is quite large - basically the whole remote API needs to be checked if the arguments of all methods don't specify Configuration (or objects having configuration as one of their fields, recursively).
Version-Release number of selected component (if applicable):
How reproducible:
Steps to Reproduce:
See bug https://bugzilla.redhat.com/show_bug.cgi?id=734866
Actual results:
NPEs and other unexpected effects
Expected results:
our impls should be clever enough to replace the missing properties with their default values
Additional info:
Just a note that this is sort of an umbrella bug for the individual issues yet to be discovered in the individual remote APIs. The bug 734866 mentioned in the repro steps is merely the first BZ raised that falls under this umbrella.


text:
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Call us for a free quote at 717-248-0983 or Contact Us
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21 colleagues work in our Lewistown office and live in the communities they serve. We make sure that all of them are prepared with the latest methods of pest detection and pest removal. We can help with mice and rats, cockroaches, ants, termites and other pests.
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To start the process contact our local Lewistown pest control office or use our online form to set up an appointment.
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Don't lose another night's sleep because of a bed bug infestation. Get rid of them in the most effective way possible and contact Ehrlich today to set up an appointment with a trained bed bug specialist.
Stink bugs are an invasive species that actually entered the United States through the state of Pennsylvania. Since they were not native to the continent, they had no natural predators like in other countries and quickly began to spread. They breed very fast, sometimes numbering in the thousands, during their breeding time in the fall.
Stink bugs are very good travelers, which has allowed them to quickly spread around the entire country. Although stink bugs are not dangerous to people, they can damage crops and gardens. Their name comes from the fact they can spray a nasty scent if threatened or crushed.
You often find stink bugs on the sides of houses, on trees, and all over gardens and crops. They like to be out in the sun, and will cover the sunny side of a home. Trying to take care of them on your own can lead to a very smelly mess, so the best for stink bug control in Lewistown is to contact the experts at Ehrlich. Although stink bugs are a relatively new pest in Lewistown, or specialists are trained to deal with them in an effective way that will get rid of the stink bugs you have, and prevent them from returning.
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text:
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text:
I have deep family roots in Berkeley. I am retired but work part-time running a small non-profit with one of my brothers (I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters). I have 3 boys, 2 live with me part-time, a Big friendly dog, more than one bike, like to ski, and a yard I'm transforming into a garden. I am very fit and active. I also enjoy some down time. Musically I lean towards Rock, Blues, Reggae.
I take trips and have adventures locally and beyond. I like warm water beaches, next month I'm going to Bali, then Hawaii in December. 2016 was my 16th year at Burning Man, which is more about community than anything else. Unbelievably, a friend gifted me his large Art Car this year! My parents were part of the Temple.
[u]We might be a good match if you[/u]: are healthy and have a youthful appearance and outlook; you like to get out and do things. You are dog friendly, have a bike; like hearing live music, urban exploring, road trips, beaches, camping, skiing, swimming, tennis ...
[u]We are probably not a good match if you[/u]: are a hard-core Republican, seriously overweight, I'm only 155lbs.-but wear it well.
Life is Good, Enjoy it
Friendships are important (& require watering)
An open mind is a good thing
The book is often better than the movie
The first album is usually the best
Mean people Suck
Margarita's are best served on the rocks with salt
Learning is a life-long process
Living Well is the best revenge
Live Long & Prosper
and a Swiss Army Knife


text:
Green Ridge senior Levon Crapse is certain of many things in her young life. One of the most important is that no matter what task one may be faced with they need to see it through and not give up no matter how daunting the task may be.
"I think the best advice I could give anyone is to just keep going," Crapse said. "Things can be really difficult at times and people will question if they will be able to see it through.
"I want them to know that they will get there," she added. "It may be hard but it's all worth it."
That advice is something that Crapse plans to continue to give others in the future after her graduation from the University of Central Missouri in Warrensburg.
Crapse will begin her degree program this fall in the field of psychology.
"I've always been interested in the way a person's mind works and how people act," Crapse said. "I can't really tell you how or why I became interested in this but I think it's a way I can help others."
Although Green Ridge did not offer any specific classes in psychology, Crapse was quick to point out that all of her teachers and classes at the school were really good and had made a positive impact on her life.
"All of the teachers and staff at Green Ridge were very helpful and nice," Crapse said. "I benefited from all of the clubs and organizations I was a part of too."
Crapse was a member of NHS, FCCLA, FBLA, the cheerleading squad and show choir.
"I have always loved singing and dancing but as a freshman I was hesitant to join show choir," she said. "I'm so glad I did because I think it really helped me to overcome a lot of my shyness and some of my fears.
"It got me out of my shell more and helped me to realize that I could do it. I wish I would have been more active in some of the other organizations I belonged to like I was in show choir," she added. "I hope I can use that to help draw those feelings out of other people in my work in the future."
Although Crapse is uncertain as to the type of work setting she will have in the future, she plans to help others.
"I think one of the biggest memories I have of Green Ridge is the people I have met," Crapse said. "Some of them may have had a bigger impact on my life than others but I will remember them, especially those who have helped me the most along the way."
Hope Lecchi can be reached at 660-826-1000 ext. 1484


text:
ED Magedson – Founder
Ripoff Report
Wendy's Fast Food97 Asheville HWY Brevard, North Carolina U.S.A.
Does your business have a bad reputation?
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This report was posted on Ripoff Report on 06/24/2008 04:09 PM and is a permanent record located here: http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/wendys-fast-food/brevard-north-carolina-28712/wendys-fast-food-neglected-parking-lot-re-bar-protruding-from-cement-caused-major-damage-343799. The posting time indicated is Arizona local time. Arizona does not observe daylight savings so the post time may be Mountain or Pacific depending on the time of year.
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SUBMITTED: Wednesday, June 25, 2008POSTED: Wednesday, June 25, 2008
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The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (Hindi) or Sanyasi Jisne Ani Samati Bech Di is a source of spiritual reawakening, that will teach readers how to examine life from a different viewpoint.
Summary Of The Book
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (Hindi) teaches readers how to develop wisdom that enables them to live life in balance, abundance, joy, and courage. Julian Mantle is the protagonist of Sharma's masterpiece. Presented through a fable, Julian faces a spiritual crisis which develops due to an unbalanced lifestyle. As a result, he embarks on a spiritual journey to a primal culture where he learns about wise and practical life lessons.
Through Julian Mantle's inspiring tale, Sharma presents a step-by-step tool which will help readers learn how to lead a meaningful life. This tool contains what the author dubs as 7 Virtues of learning. These are mastering the mind, following one's purpose, practising kaizen, living with discipline, respecting time, embracing the present, and selflessly helping others. According to Sharma, by developing these 7 core virtues, people will learn to follow their life's purpose, develop pleasant thoughts, nourish relationships, cultivate discipline, and value time.
After reading The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (Hindi), readers will learn to delve deeper into themselves and retrain their minds. More importantly, the book helps one understand how daily habits can help one accomplish his or her dreams. By mastering Sharma's 7 core virtues, readers will learn to follow their desires and fulfill their destinies.
Since the book's initial publication in 1997, it has sold more than three million copies worldwide. The book has been translated into 42 languages, and has been a Number 1 bestseller.
About Robin Sharma
Robin Sharma is an author, lawyer, motivational speaker, and leadership expert.
He has authored numerous self help bestsellers. Some of these are Who Will Cry When You Die?, The Saint, the Surfer, and the CEO: A Remarkable Story About Living Your Heart's Desires, MegaLiving: 30 Days To A Perfect Life, and The Gandhi Factor.
Sharma is a lawyer by trade. He is also the founder of Sharma Leadership International Inc., which is located in Toronto, Canada. Sharma received the Golden Gavel award in 2011 from Toastmasters International. He has also appeared on many radio programs and television shows.
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London, Oct 05 (ANI): An exceptionally rare pink diamond ring is all set to go under hammer and is expected to fetch 24 million pounds.
The enormous 24.78-carat gem is cut into a rectangular shape with rounded corners, and mounted on a ring in between two clear stones.
The gem, classified by the Gemological Institute of America as "fancy intense pink" has been assessed as type IIa - meaning it is in the top two per cent of the world's diamonds.
It was sold by celebrity jeweller Harry Winston some 60 years ago and has been in a private collection ever since.
It is now on show in Hong Kong and will tour the world before being sold by Sotheby's auction house in Geneva, reports the Telegraph.
It is estimated to fetch between 17 million pounds and 24 million pounds - almost one million pounds per carat.
Experts describe the coloured diamonds as the most sought-after jewels around the world, with blues, pinks and greens proving most popular.
Once sold, the stone is expected to rocket into the list of the top ten most expensive diamonds in the world. (ANI)


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The Potters' Studio
Two Intro to Pottery Classes in The Artist District
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For more than 40 years, The Potters' Studio has provided Bay Area creatives with a place to learn and practice pottery in a supportive environment. Discover the fun, relaxation, and cool community around the potter's wheel:
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In these fun classes, supportive and qualified instructors work with each student at their own pace. On your first day, you'll enjoy a basic introduction to pottery, a studio tour, and learn to use the potter's wheel. During the second session, you'll return to your project, trimming extra clay, choosing glazes that the staff will apply, and, if there's time, make more pots.
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