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Usual disclaimers apply, along with all mistakes been down to my own stupidity. Real life has been a stinker so my apologies in not getting this up sooner. I know its been a long wait and this is a long chapter too I'm afraid… but it is the final one! Despite my tardiness feedback always appreciated. Rozzy
Growing Pains – Chapter 19: Superglue and a brother's love.
Watching his brother make familiar moves on the pretty waitress Sam smiled despite himself. Dean's devilish grin spoke volumes, that he truly was back fighting fit, all set to literally charm the panties of the red headed girl buckling under his verbal persuasion. The fact that he had been kept him under virtual house arrest since his discharge from hospital was making this even sweeter he guessed for his brother, the warnings of abstaining from doing anything remotely naughty well and truly put on the back burner for the rest of the night he figured.
For his own part his initial reservation at breaking their dad's curfew had evaporated the moment the music was cranked up way too loud in the impala and his brother's snarky mouth went into overdrive. For Sam the journey into town had been a happy reminder of just how much he had missed his brother and all the mental and physical jostling that went with it.
Feeling a little silly at the grin he knew he had on his face Sam looked away and started to mentally chew over a myriad of thoughts stuck in his head as he waited for his brother's return. With Dean well again he could dare to think the timing right to put an end to the lies that had built an uncomfortable wall between them. No matter how painful it might be Sam knew he had to find a way to tell all to all the mistakes he had made. It wasn't going t be easy he figured, guessing that Dean was going to be as mad as hell with him but he hoped deep down inside that he would be forgiven. Its what brothers did he reasoned.
Mind made up Sam looked over to his brother once more only to catch the final moment when Dean cinched his win over the girl as a paper napkin was folded suggestively into his hand. That same instance the truth sunk in that his brother was well on his way to scoring a home run which meant he was going to go home empty handed and he murmured his disquiet, "Oh shit!"
To return to the cabin without his wayward brother seemed almost suicidal. Dad for sure was going to skin him alive. He swallowed back another groan because as much as he wanted things back to normal he really wasn't prepared to have that part of the Winchester family dynamics restored so soon with him and his dad.
Dean returned back to the booth waiving the napkin with a phone number scribbled on it under his brother's nose, "Little brother Charlene is a go!"
"Poor thing need glasses much?" shrugged back Sam, still wondering how he was going survive his dad's anger. The imagery of the man spitting out verbal bullets, with him being the primary target, caused a small judder to run through him.
Sensitive still to his overly cropped hair Dean missed his brother's shiver and instead snapped back, "Hey even on a bad hair day I still got it Sammy. Now whose jealous much?"
Sam merely rolled his eyes keen to avoid getting into a nitpicking argument over something as stupid as his brother's libido. Shrugging his indifference he returned his attention back to his milkshake, letting the wonderful flow of overly thick chocolate milk still a sarcastic response.
As he sat back down Dean's grin intensified as he caught sight of a large burger stacked high on the plate. It glistened with the promise of enough grease to slide down his throat with satisfying ease. Small town pokey or not Baudette it seemed served up the best looking burgers in the western hemisphere along with some pretty hot girls too.
Rubbing his hands in anticipation he was all set for taking his first bite when he caught a glint in his brother's eyes that sent the warning bells clanging loud in his head and he spat out sourly, "You'd better have not touched this when my back was turned you little brat or so help you…"
"What?" responded Sam, almond eyes wide pools of innocence before ducking his head low so that his long bangs covered his face, intent on finishing off his milkshake rather than deal with his brother's accusatory stare.
Still on high alert Dean lifted up the bun for any visual surprises to find none but doubt still lingered and he threw his brother a warning, "If you've messed with my food when my back was turned you'll be tasting the inside of a lavatory bowl for the next month."
Dimples flashed despite his determination to keep a straight face and Sam was forced to shake his head in denial, "You know paranoia isn't an attractive look big brother."
"Seriously you better have not touched my food you little douche bag!" warned Dean again.
Shrugging Sam denied any wrongdoing, "Look the half dead cow on your plate is exactly as it was when dumped on the table. Either eat it or throw it in the trash. Makes no difference to me."
"Now why would I waste a good burger like that?" growled back Dean before ignoring his suspicions to tear out a hefty chunk with one bite. His hard expression melted as his taste buds exploded and through a mouthful of chargrilled meat and toasted bun he moaned out his delight, "Man, this is freaking orgasmic."
Sam groaned at the overt display his brother was making, "Gross, go get a room why don't you. Oh wait you've already booked that with Charlie." When he got only a raised eyebrow he added, "Dad is so going to kill us, me in particular, you know that, right?"
Snorting back his amusement Dean took another huge bite whilst giving him the finger to express his feelings. Words would have been a waste of time and deflected his attention from eating the culinary marvel in his hands he reasoned.
Disgust wrote across Sam's face as he pushed away his plate of a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and growled out bitterly, "I'm going to the head to throw up whatever was left of my appetite. Don't wanna puke over dad's feet when he slowly chokes the life out of me later."
Sam agilely side-stepped the heavy hand aimed at his butt by his brother with a knowing chuckle, because despite everything it was so good to have him back to his normal self again. Still chuckling his amusement his journey to the rest room came to a halt when a decidedly feminine voice called out his name. Turning he was met with a gleaming smile, almost propriety in nature, as the ever-bubbly Trudy Seldon beckoned to him to her.
Stopping was his undoing, as having just escaped his brother's long reach only seconds earlier he wasn't quick enough to evade Trudy's determined grab of him as she snagged his wrist halting any chance of an escape.
Breathlessly she cooed her excitement, "Sam! Oh my god, I was just telling the girls how you did the whole Officer and Gentleman thingy and picked me up when I slid on the ice the other day. Gotta be fate you turning up like this so I can say my thanks properly."
Sam threw Trudy a watery smile and shook his head, "It was no big deal. Anyone else would have done the same I'm sure."
Trudy took his flat denial as a sign of encouragement and patted the empty seat besides here. "Well my poor ankle didn't think so. Come on sit down so I can feed you something sweet to say my thanks."
The other two girls looked on with knowing smiles, eyes darting between the two of them well aware that a hunt was in play and were now left just waiting for the kill.
"No really that's okay…" winced back Sam, still firmly under wrist arrest from the very persistent and surprisingly strong girl.
"If not some dessert now how else can I say my thanks?" asked Trudy, licking her perfectly made up lips suggestively, hoping this might be her much awaited opportunity to get her hooks into Sam. She had managed to wangle a seat next to him in fourth period History but so far, pitiful as it was to admit to, had got absolutely nowhere with him.
A giggle escaped from one of the girls sitting opposite and Trudy threw them both a hard look, "Never mind Verna and Gail, I'm sure they were planning to leave anytime soon Sam."
Using her distraction with her friends as his chance to disentangle himself from her grip Sam said his apologies, "No, really, thanks for the invite but I'm here with my big brother and he isn't fit for company at the best of times." Adding silently, 'Because he's a frigging pig!.'
Trudy's expression fell slightly at the rejection but then she forced another bright smile across her face, persistence ninety-nine percent of her genetic makeup when she wanted something as badly as she wanted the boy in front of her. Leaning forwards, so that her cleavage in her tight top was fully on display she suggested, "Oh well maybe another time then Sam. Next time just you and me, no big brother's or anyone else if you like?"
A blush crept up Sam's long neck and his voice sound lame to his own ears as he tried to extract himself from the sticky situation he found himself in, "Well, umm, I'm kinda busy most nights but thanks anyway. I'll catch up with you in History. Bye."
At break neck speed he took off, feeling the burn of three pairs of predatory female eyes on his back. As he dove into the washroom his thoughts were swirling. Trudy's reputation as a man-eater went before her and the last thing he needed was to have her trying to sit in his lap in History or anywhere else for that matter.
Then a thought hit him and he drew to an abrupt halt letting the door follow through to hit him hard on the backside. Jumping at the contact he shook his head in despair, certain that his big brother would have heard all that had played out with Trudy and her mini harem.
It was ammunition too good not to be used by his brother he reasoned and he groaned out loud. "Shit and double shit."
John hadn't realised he'd been pacing till the phone rang and he had to turn in mid stride to retrieve it from the sofa. Gruffly he barked out, "Dean you reckless sonofagun you'd better have your brother in tow and be on your way back."
"You mislaid them of boys of yours again?" queried Jim Murphy down the line.
Flopping down onto the tatty sofa John admitted, "The slippery little buggers snuck out on me when I was fixing the plumbing in the bathroom a while back."
Stifling another small chuckle Jim teased his friend, "And you still don't know where they are? Must be that your tracking skills are getting rusty with lack of use old man."
Sighing heavily John confessed, "Dean's teaching his brother more bad tricks if you ask me. Damn idiots disabled my truck, took out the spark plugs and I don't have any spares."
There was a high pitched whine as Jim sucked back the need to laugh, nearly strangling his vocal chords in the process. "Murphy it's not funny. Dean is still on medication and going off to chase some local skirt whilst downing a bottle of tequila isn't the smartest of moves."
Wiping the tears from his eyes Jim could understand John's fatherly concern but could guess at the reasons for Dean's need for some freedom. The cabin was too tiny a place for all three Winchesters to be cooped up in at the best of times. "Sounds to me like Dean is making it known that he's fighting fit again, lets just hope he remembers to line his stomach first before he goes into battle with the local female population. "
"Ha freaking funny old man but your forgetting that whatever Dean is planning on doing he'll be dragging Sammy with him? You really think that boy ready to park his naïve butt in some seedy watering hole whilst some bar whore comes on to him?"
Appalled at the idea Jim voiced his disquiet, "I know he's tall for his age but Lord knows the boy doesn't look old enough to drink beer nether mind tequila. You really think Dean will take him into such a place?"
John snorted out his disbelief, "Dean and his downstairs brain are a law unto themselves. Wouldn't put anything past the little punk. You know I could strangle him with my own hands for being such a smart ass and taking off with his brother like this."
"So this is all about you protecting young Samuel and not the fact that your newly recovered oldest son disabled your truck then?"
Sucking in a slow breath John admitted, "You hit low preacher, anyone ever tell you that? A man's wheels should be sacrosanct. Maybe strangling is to quick a punishment after all."
"Yep that's the Daddy Winchester I know and love so well." Murphy paused then found himself asking, "You know with your boys taking off like this could be a good thing as being on neutral ground might loosen things up for them. Help clear the air."
"If you say so," muttered back John a little uncomfortable at the direction the conversation was going and pointedly asked instead, "So you hear from Josh recently?"
"Deflection much man!" laughed Jim softly at his friend's attempt to turn the conversation, "From all accounts Joshua and Birdie are having a great vacation, but you know I didn't ring you to talk about those two reprobates."
"Its too hot," whined Hal, dappling at the sweat beading his forehead whilst hopping from foot to foot. "The stupid sand is giving me second degree burns."
"Told you to put something on your feet," huffed back Joshua. He tipped the bottle of beer back and took a long swig, the cold liquid refreshing in the stifling heat of midday. His sandaled feet offered enough protection against the fiery golden sand to leave him comfortable and he grinned at his friend's discomfort.
"I need another drink," muttered Hal heading back to the wooden shack that offered the promise of some much needed shade.
Joshua bellowed out loudly, "Hey Harry, heads up, Birdie needs another banana daiquiri."
The trio of bikini clad girls draped by the hotel pool all turned to his voice and Hal cringed at the fresh attention, his pink skin darkening as he muttered darkly, "Bitch."
Harry the bartender merely nodded his agreement and muttered softly, "Guess you want the usual?"
"Well of course I do," growled back Bird, bristling under the man's knowing smirk. "A daiquiri would be naked without the umbrella and cherries."
Harry smiled wide at Hal, his gold front tooth glinting brightly in the sunlight before pouring out the golden liquid into a cocktail glass and adding the flourish of a neon pink paper umbrella and fruits, "I like you man, you know what you want and don't let no one stop you from having it."
Hal received his drink with a smile of thanks and slurped noisly, the cold drink refreshing in the hot midday sun. As he munched on the fruit he leant back to the bartender and offered up his empty glass for a refill, "Don't stint on the cherries this time dude. I've earned every single one of them in that jar you hold in your hands."
The bartender chuckled softly at the pinked skinned American and his growing appetite, "Seems like I best be making these by the jug load for you from now on."
"That my friend is a wise decision to be making as I intend to spend the whole week gloriously drunk," advised Hal, already feeling the fuzzy affects of the alcohol pulsing through his veins.
A shadow loomed over at him and Joshua nudged his shoulder and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "Dude who would have thought it but it seems the daiquiri did the trick as that hotter than hot babe Sally and her girlfriends have asked us to join them for a few drinks."
Hal whipped his head round to see the voluptuous brunette that had ensnared his attention the moment he walked out on to the beach smiling over at him. Eyes going large he took in the sight before tuning back to Harry with a wide grin, "Were gonna need a bigger jug."
"Oh yeah man, better make them daiquiris by the bucket load as them girls look mighty thirsty," agreed Joshua still firmly sticking to his beer. His decidedly heterosexual looking bottle of beer.
Hal grinned, ignoring the sting of his burnt cheeks, and raised his cocktail glass high, "To them Winchester boys and all your pals that come after them. Long may they keep me accustomed to the finer things of life!"
"Jeez your such a fucking pansy," muttered Joshua sourly in return wondering just how deep this little trip and future trips was going to bite into rapidly depleting trust fund.
John sighed, knowing exactly what Jim Murphy had been hinting at and the reason why he had actually called, "Nothings changed since last we spoke Jim. You still waiting to hear that Sam's spilled his guts to Dean about how I fucked up with that bastard Burnett."
"Not exactly how I would have worded it but yes I am wondering why the delay. We really just can't carry on pretending to Dean and the World that nothing happened with his little brother?" When he got only silence Murphy added, "I worry about what this will do to the boys in the long run, especially young Samuel."
Hissing out his own frustration John admitted, "Sam's stronger than you give him credit for so stop heaping the neurosis on him. I'm guessing he'll do things as he sees fit or not at all."
Jim's sucked in a harsh breath as the truth hit home, "You're his dad, you should be encouraging him to get this out in the open and not have it brushed under the carpet like this."
Now that his intentions were laid out John felt decidedly uncomfortable at the damnation coming down the line, "Don't make me to be the villain here, you know this is Sam's choice, you forgetting that?"
"No John, it was a choice the boy made out of fear for his brother's health. Now Dean is better he needs the chance to let them both deal with what happened and not bottle it up like this."
"Deal with it? You forgetting how badly Dean dealt with it first time round; how it nearly tore what was left of my family apart? You must excuse me if I don't wanna push the issue here and risk things disintegrating into open warfare like last time."
"You still worried that Dean will take another pop at you?" Jim snapped back, his blood heating on hearing John's take on things and added scathingly, "Are you that scared of losing his respect that its easier to let his brother's silence act as a protective buffer for you both."
The truth hit hard and John defended himself once again, "Think what you like, but dredging up what happened with Burnett is only going to cause fresh grief again. The man's dead, nothing more than a pile of grey ash, and as I see it is well and truly out of my boys lives forever."
There was a pregnant pause before Jim advised, "You know I wish it was that simple but Sheriff McCall and his team are investigating all the stuff Joshua left with him."
Slowly John asked, "And?"
"Think on it man. Soon enough all of Baudette is going to know what that madman did. How do you think Sam is going to feel then? Especially when he won't have his brother to turn to for support."
"He's got me to sound off against," responded John choosing to ignore the derisive snort that came down the line and added, "Look you know I have a new job lined up in New England and now that Dean seems fit to drive we can up sticks and get the hell out of Wisconsin. In a day or two we'll far enough away to avoid any of the potential Burnett fallout crap you're so worried about and maybe be then life can get back to normal."
"Normal for you John leaves me frankly very worried," hissed back Murphy, his frustration growing at the man's blinkered thinking. "You can run as fast as you like from Wisconsin but the truth is going to follow you regardless. It's going to niggle away like a cancer between you and Sam. Just think of the potential for damage this might do."
"Jim believe me all I can see is the damage already done," admitted John with a resigned sigh. "Burnett literally sat on my doorstep waiting for his chance with Sam. The things that he tried to do, the things he said to my boy… it just makes me sick to my stomach thinking on it."
"He was expert at playing people John. You have to believe that no matter what he might have insinuated to your boy that Sam didn't swallow any of his lies."
Confession spilled out of John, "God Jim, don't you see that some of what Burnett said to Sammy was true, that out of sight was out of mind in my case. He knew that Sam wasn't my number one priority and took great delight in cramming that fact down my boy's throat. Sam knows I dumped and run, how do we ever get past that?"
Remembering how he had colluded with Dean to keep his brother out of the hunt Jim responded, "You forgetting that I was the one insisting you leave Samuel behind. That I should have checked in with Joshua to make sure he was okay."
Bitterly John broke in, "We both know that was my job. I'm his dad for christsake but I let my bad temper stop me from acting like that one time too many. Fucking stupid pride kept up the barricades between us the moment I left him alone, and every single night after that."
Gently Jim responded, "Pride brings down even the strongest of us, just don't let it stop you from telling your son know just how much you love him. You both need that comfort right now."
John found himself sucking back a tremulous breath, the compassion of Murphy's words picking away at his emotional walls, "I came too damn close to losing everything Jim. You can't possibly know how terrifying a feeling that is."
"I think I know something of what your going through as I wake up every night in a cold sweat thinking on what might have happened to the lad…"
A judder ran through John at the unwanted imagery his friend's words evoked and he softly confessed, "I'm scared for him Jim. Sometimes I watch him sleep and I wonder how he is still so much like his mother, how can he still possess such a gentle soul after all that he has been exposed to?"
"Sam's gentle soul has always trusted that with you or his brother around that his world is safe."
"No, not any more. I wasn't there for him Jim and he knows it," whispered John sadly.
"Its still part of his makeup to want to believe in you John. Burnett words can only continue to hold power over you both if you let them. Sam's still just a kid that needs his family, and his cantankerous old man, no matter what."
"You think so? Some days I look at him and wonder how I can keep him Jim. It feels like I'm standing at the edge of a vortex watching my boy being sucked out of my grip and I can't put on the breaks to stop it."
Guessing at the man's fears, the inner demons that drove John to recklessness with his boys, Jim advised, "Talk to him John, don't let the silence build again between the two of you again."
"And say what exactly? That the reason I'm a hard hearted sonofabitch is because its the only way I know to rein him in and keep him safe?"
"Would it really hurt so much just to loosen up just a little with him and tell him some of this? You should have figured it out by now, that he responds better to the positive rather than the negative," whispered back Jim softly, surprised at such a frank confession from the normally tight lipped hunter.
"You know with Dean I have this easy understanding, this connection and things just run so smoothly between us, but with Sammy I just find myself struggling."
"Talk to him John."
"I don't know how," admitted John with a weary sigh. "So yeah call me a coward but its easier to run away from Wisconsin and try and make things right as best I can somewhere else. Gotta believe that in time he'll love me again."
"You fool, he already does, always will."
Dean listened in with a cocked ear, even forgoing another bite of his slowly congealing mess of a burger to avoid missing any of the conversation on the other side of the booth. His interest spiked even more after Sam's hasty departure and the three girls started to voice their opinions on his little brother.
A condemning voice followed soon as Gail voiced her annoyance, "Trudy, you've been holding out on us again. Just when did you start to mix it up with Dimples in History?"
Dimples? Is that how the girls saw his brother? Gonna have to remember that one later he told himself with a smirk.
Trudy answered with a throaty laugh, "Oops - didn't I tell you that I've been sitting with him in History since he got back from being sick?"
Gail shook her head, clearly confused, "But History? You freaking hate history."
"Used too, but now that I get to sit next to Sam for two hours it ain't so bad. Besides you know he gets straight A's just by breathing. I never thought I'd say it but a guy with brains is quite a turn on."
The other girls sitting with Gail knew her friend opposite too well and chirped in, "Come on its not his brain's you want to get your grubby hands on. We've all clocked that tight butt of his…especially now he's put the weight back on. He's looking decidedly edible all over again."
"Its not just his butt Verna," recalled the Gail with a dirty chuckle, "I mean have you seen the size of his hands? Makes you want to do something naughty with them if you know what I mean."
Dean snuffled back a loud snort at the implication behind the girl's words but managed to keep himself seated so that he could continue to listen in. The teen-bitches really did see a side of Sam he just hadn't noticed before and he was literally rooted to the spot wanting to hear more.
"God your such a slut Gail," sniffed back Trudy, "Sam doesn't give the time of day to slutty girls never mind look at them."
A wall of laughter erupted as Verna and Gail blurted out together, "Well that leaves you screwed Trudy."
Indignant Trudy hit back, "You'll be laughing on the other side of your stupid faces when I reel him in."
Gail warned, "Don't think your Ex is gonna like that one little bit. I heard the rumours about what Dimple's did to him and his two gorillas."
Verna nudged Gail, "God yeah he sure as hell sported some pretty impressive shiners for while. Never did swallow the line that it was because of some dodgy football tackle. Did California really rain on his ass?"
Conspiratorially Trudy leant in and answered in a loud whisper, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone as Stuart made me swear to keep it zipped, but if you promise not tell anyone then…."
Gail and Verna both nodded quickly, eager to hear fresh gossip albeit second hand and Trudy's voice deepened. "Remember when Sam first started he seemed real stuck up and some of us wanted to let him know it wasn't appreciated." She waited for agreeing nods before continuing, "Stu went just a little too far one day and, well, Sam wasn't too happy about it."
Dean tensed up at the confession, wondering just what the hell had gone on at the school with his baby brother when by all accounts he had been sunning himself down in Florida.
Trudy continued, "It was stupid really, they were messing around with that dumpy chick Nancy and things just went on from there."
"Nancy?" queried Verna, struggling to put a face to the name.
Gail piped in, "Oh you know, that fat girl two years behind us whose uncle snuffed it not so long ago. Her aunt upped sticks a few weeks back and took them back to Chicago."
Verna nodded, "Yeah she clung to Sam like a limpet till he got sick," Then slipping in the verbal equivalent of a knife between the rib cage she deftly added, "Still now she's out of the picture its gotta make you wonder why you've still got absolutely nowhere with him Trudy."
"Yeah," sneered Gail, "Especially when you're known to hand it out on a plate."
Trudy's lips thinned, "I'm not the one whose phone number is etched into the bleachers saying call if you want a good time. Your not known for being a Friday night easy date for nothing, right?"
"God your such a bitch when you're not getting any," snapped back Gail rankled at the fresh insults coming her way.
Verna stepped in, "Come on girls stop the catfight as I wanna know all about Stu's shiners. What exactly did Sam do?"
A moment of quiet descended over the booth and Dean strained to listen desperate to hear all about his brother's run in with what sounded like the archetypal school bully.
Huffing out a loud resigned sigh Trudy finally confessed, "Like I said they tried using Nancy to give out a warning to Sam, but it backfired when he found her blubbering like a baby. Said something like it wasn't done to make a 'nice girl cry' then beat the crap out of them."
Verna sucked in an amazed breath, "Wow, Stuey isn't exactly a light weight, neither are his buddies. Dimples sure must be fit to take them out like that."
"Yeah apparently he said Sam did some ninja moves right out the movies on the three of them. It was that bad that even after he got sick with pneumonia and came back looking like a ghost Stuey was still to scared to breathe wrong in Sam's direction."
Dean stiffened at hearing this fresh news about his brother, and his jaw set hard. Pneumonia and getting into fights at school left him wondering what else he was going to learn about his brother tonight.
A voice he had come to recognise as Gail's finally insinuated something that sent Dean's blood turn cold, "Well maybe that ex of yours was scared for another thing entirely. Maybe the reason you've gotten nowhere with Dimples is that he and Coach Enders are pretty close. Makes you wonder why Sam never got his ass suspended for beating the crap out them boys like that, don't it?"
A gasp went up of disbelief from Trudy, "No way is that boy is not in any way shape or form gay. Not that mighty fine man flesh. It can't be…."
"Like I said you put it out on plate girlfriend, like sweet peach pie and ice cream, and he hasn't taken a bite. Just gets you thinking, that maybe all the times he got after school detention with the Coach it wasn't just because he didn't have his gym kit is all I'm saying."
"Where the hell have you been?" demanded John Winchester as his oldest traipsed in with a bow headed little brother in his wake. He had expected some sort of apology from Dean but got only an accusoratory glare.
Dean pushed past his glowering dad and snarled out his anger, "Oh you know how it goes, guy goes for a burger, picks up a girl then has his whole night ruined by finding out what his little baby brother has been up to in Wisconsin whilst his brain took a sabbatical."
John's eyebrows knitted together wondering just what truths had been spilled in his absence, "What the hell do you mean, your not making any sense here Dean."
Dean shook his head, eyeing his dad with an assessing look wondering how he could be so oblivious to things when it came to his baby brother, "So you haven't you heard the the rumour going round about Sammy's sexual orientation, about just how close a relationship he has with some fucking sports Coach called Enders?"
John's mouth dropped open all thoughts of chastising Dean forgotten as he shot a look of disbelief at his youngest, "Sam what the hell is your brother going on about here?"
Face blushing furiously Sam shook his head angry in denial, "Don't listen to him dad. None of its true about Coach Enders, all he has done is to help me get fit again. He thinks I've got potential and…"
"Potential my ass!" interrupted Dean harshly, still feeling nauseated at the images the girls back in the diner had left him with. Grabbing his brother's shirt in tight fist he hissed angrily at Sam, "You really that naïve little brother not to know what he meant, what he really wants? You that fucking stupid to have let some creep get his hand down your pants when I was out of commission or down in Florida?"
Sam wanted to voice a denial but all he could see, all he could remember was another man's unwanted hands on him and he froze.
John watched the colour drain from his youngest face and forcibly parted his sons, knowing just how deeply Dean's word had scored a wound on his youngest boy. Holding him back at arms length he warned, "You hold up here Dean and bite your tongue. If your brother said nothing is going on with Enders then I believe him. Like you should."
Dean still incensed spat back, "Sammy's the one who keep digging himself in a hole here. Why is he so fucking tight lipped if he's got nothing to hide? Why all those detentions with the coach after school? Just the two of them, alone, together…I'm gonna go fucking cut his balls off and stuff them down his throat if he touched my brother…."
Remembering the phone messages from the school that he only retrieved later John admitted, "Stop it Dean, your blowing things up way out of proportion here over some stupid gym kit I forgot to buy. Sam got the detentions because of that."
"A missing kit doesn't explain why Sam got away with beating the crap out of three jocks on Enders football squad does it? Jesus since when did my brother go from uber-geek to fucking Bruce Lee?"
"Fighting? Sam, just what the hell don't I know here?" demanded John from his youngest wondering how he had let yet another thing slip under his radar with the boy.
"Yeah Sammy spill it cos I've got to say that in my day that would have earned a pretty tidy spell in the principals office and a suspension. Not time alone with the coach who thinks you've got 'potential' does it?"
Swallowing on a dry mouth Sam answered best he could, fighting back the sting of tears as he looked at his brother who looked scary angry right about now, "I'm not stupid, I knew how to sort them out without getting caught. No one could prove a thing not unless those idiots wanted to rat themselves out for picking on some girl and making her so scared that she cried."
Watching his brother's shake is head in disbelief Sam shot a him a rebellious look, "I don't know why your having such a hissy fit, not as if you didn't split your knuckles on some goons face back in the day."
"There were three of them you idiot. You should have had some back up," Dean paused and sneered out his contempt, "Or perhaps you figured that your special buddy Enders would cover your backside."
Jutting out his chin in defiance Sam hissed back, "The coach is a good honest man and if you think I swing that way them you must be really screwed in the head."
John gasped out surprised at the belligerent tone his youngest had taken with is brother, "Sam, don't."
Sam saw the hurt flash in his brother's eyes and tried to limit the damage, "I'm sorry I didn't mean it to come out like that."
Tapping the side of his head Dean growled back, "I know I have a few potholes inside here still, but the last thing I need is to have them filled in by the likes of Wanna-be-Barbie and her pals."
Sam countered, "You said it Dean, they're just airheads and nothing that comes out their mouths is worth listening to. This whole gay rumour is just those bitches trying to deflect the truth, that I wouldn't touch their skanky asses with a barge pole."
Sighing his relief at his youngest explanation John put a hand on Dean's shoulder, "Come on son calm down. You blowing a gasket over nothing more than some spiteful girls voicing off is going to do no one any good."
Stepping out of father's hand Dean shook his head, confusion still clear on his face, "No dad, those teenage witches managed to fill me in on quite a bit that you didn't tell me about. Like my baby brother having pneumonia and not a little dose of the flu." Locking eyes with his dad he wagged a finger in warning at him, "Don't try pretending that you didn't know about that too old man. You knew how serious this was and didn't say a damn word to me."
In ready defence Sam stepped in, "Hey this isn't dad's fault, I fudged the whole being sick thing as you were real bad for a time and I just wanted you well again. Don't you see that after all that's gone on that this doesn't even measure point one on the Richter scale of things."
John voiced his own agreement, "You weren't up to the knowing Dean when your brother fell ill. Truth be told we were both worried how this would have impacted on your recovery. You near died on us son, we did just what we thought best."
Dean scrunched up his face, still filtering his dad's words and finding no anchor there, "I just don't get why you've kept me in the dark ever since. You think me that fucking fragile?"
John cocked his head and threw his well built son a slight smile, "Look shit happened Dean and we just learnt to deal with it, like we always do. Like we will now. Okay?"
"A bucket load of shit happened by the sounds of things. Anymore surprises coming my way old man?" asked Dean.
Sam shot a quick look at his dad fearing that he was going to add more fuel to the fire by telling him the truth about what happened one rainy night. Dean had gone near berserk on thinking something had gone on with him and the coach, what would happen when he found out what had really happened with Burnett.
He hadn't realised he was holding his breath until he saw John slowly shake his head and gave a deflecting answer, "Look scream as much as you like at me, but at least give Sam a break here. He did what he thought best for you and put the needs of the family first here Dean."
Pulling away Dean shook his head the anger fizzing still away inside of him, eyes travelling back and forth between his grim looking dad and his clearly hurting brother. "You don't get it do you? I've been ragging on Sam's butt about letting a stupid cold keep him down when he's been battling freaking pneumonia. How bad do you think that makes me feel?"
"I'm sorry Dean," offered Sam in apology. "I would have told you, I promise."
Dean sucked in a long breath, wondering not for the first time what his absence this past month had cost his brother. "Look you idiot it's always been my job to look out for you and keeping me in the dark like this was just wrong."
Nodding his head John was forced to agree, "Your right son, looking out for Sam has always been your job but in the same breath you have to learn to let go of them apron strings. You're not going to be able to keep tabs on him all the time from now on. We have jobs to go on and he still wants to finish school so there are going to be days when he has to use his own judgement and look out for himself."
Dean threw a look at his brother, trying to take onboard what his father had said but still only saw his gauche little brother, all skinny arms and legs and no commonsense at all it seemed. His anger evaporated and he reached out to cuff a hand round the back of his neck so that their foreheads touched, "You get that you scared the hell out of me here Sammy, though I guess deep down I know you'd never let some perv touch you, you're a Winchester despite the girly hair after all. So sorry I said all that crap about your coach…."
He wasn't expecting the way his brother tensed up and quickly pulled away from him, eyes glistening suddenly bright with unshed tears. Whacking him gently on the shoulder Dean added, "Come on Sammy, I said I', sorry I got the wrong end of the stick with this Enders's guy." Before adding on a more serious note, "Seriously though next time you try to feed me a line of bull I will seriously kick your ass till its black and blue. You understand me here little brother. ?"
"Yeah Dean. I get it, and I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you," whispered back Sam in return, relief flooding through him that whatever had played out only minutes ago he had his brother's faith restored in him again.
Feeling reassured that things were falling back into their correct order in the Winchester world of doing things Dean huffed back, "So anymore little secrets you need to spill Sam, cos' believe me any amnesty time is fast running out here brother."
Sam mutely shook, his ability to speak stilled as he caught the closed off look in his dad's eyes. After Dean's reaction to what he thought had gone on with the Coach the last thing he wanted to tell him about was Burnett and his filthy hands and vicious mouth.
Dean took his brother's silence as a yes and added, "Well that's good because I sure as hell don't want to find six months down the line of some underage fugly girl with a bun in the oven wanting you to play the baby's daddy?"
"Dean!" whined back Sam a furious blush spreading across his cheeks.
John's scowl broke into a wide grin and he couldn't stop a laugh from escaping, "I think son that's more in your department. I think we have a few good years before we have to start worrying about your brother here."
Remembering the hot girl his brother had hooked up in Santa Barbara Dean muttered back, "Oh you wish old man. You wish."
Watching as Sam silently ate breakfast, more a bowl of sugary milk than cereal, John knew it was too early in the day to be nagging the boy about his eating habits. As long he kept putting the weight back on he was just happy to let things coast for a while longer.
Watching him finish up he asked, "You have everything packed up, as I'm not hanging for you sort out all the crap in your room after school today."
Sam shrugged slightly his gaze locked on the view outside the window. All the hours he had been forced into chopping wood now seemed redundant and he eyed the stack outside the kitchen door with bitter amusement. At least the rats were going to have somewhere warm to ride out the end of the Wisconsin winter he figured.
"You listening to me or is your head full of cotton wool again?" demanded John impatiently, wondering just what the boy was daydreaming on now.
"Yes sir," answered Sam suddenly keen to be on his way. It was going to be his last day at Lincoln High and apart from a smattering of good teachers he wasn't that sorry to be saying his goodbyes. Tugging on his jacket he muttered, "I'll be a little later than usual. Got something to finish up first."
"Make it snappy as I don't intend to hang around all night while you kiss some skinny assed school girl your goodbye."
Throwing his dad an unreadable look Sam shook his head and headed for the door, "No sir."
John winced as he watched his son swing his backpack on his shoulder and left without any need of a goodbye, a chill settling into his stomach as he heard only the familiar title of 'sir' on his youngest son's tongue once again. It seems the rare moment of calling him with any affection had been lost after Dean's temper fit two nights back.
"Sam?" he called after him softly but he got no reaction, his boy already halfway out of the door and not stopping for anything. The firm click as the door shut made John flinch once more and he wondered whether he should have had the courage to say something more substantial to his son than moan about him being packed and readying to leave. Maybe he should have offered to drive him into school, this being their last chance to clear the air before they left Baudette and all leave all bad memories behind them.
Draining the last of his coffee he went to follow but was waylaid by a half awake Dean who blearily asked, "Geek boy gone already?"
"You just missed him son," answered John, his eyes locked on the closed door over Dean's shoulder.
"He eat breakfast at least?" demanded Dean as he poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting down at the table, nursing the hot brew in his hands as a warming comforter in the still frigid early morning air.
"Yeah, the kid's been fed and watered," murmured back John distractedly, chewing on his bottom lip in thought.
"Good, he's still all skin and bones."
Sighing John let his chance to follow after Sam dissipate and instead allowed Dean to take his attention away from his shortcomings with his youngest. If he wangled it right he would have time to talk to Sam later, maybe get him to travel in the truck with him part way to New England and help break up the icy barrier building up between the two of them once more.
"So Bobby got this job all sussed out then?" queried Dean before a loud yawn escaped and he fisted the sleep from his eyes.
"Seems like it, sooner we get going the better."
Eyeing his dad he could guess where his thoughts were at and Dean asked, "Guess you were just as surprised as I was when the kid didn't throw a hissy fit last night when you told him we were moving on again."
Shrugging his shoulders John admitted, "Sam is just growing up I figure. Bout time…"
Dean nodded slowly, supping carefully at the scolding liquid, "Something you're keen on isn't it old man? I remember you know why you took Sam to this hellhole in the first place. You wanted to knock them soft edges off him and make him into that man you keep harping on about."
Swallowing back an acid tongued retort John shook his head, all too aware of where the last attempts to straighten up the boy had led them all. "I just want him prepared like you were at his age."
"You know it comes at a cost dad. This growing up too fast," responded Dean unable to hide his own bitterness at the enforced loss of his own childhood.
Knowing what his son was hinting at John locked hard eyes with him, "You think that pretending that Sam doesn't need to toughen up will keep him safe? That sort of thinking will end up either killing him or one of us. You know things are out there that will hurt him if they can."
"I know dad, its just…. well its just Sam's always been different from us. He'd sooner jump into a spike filled ditch than step on an ant for christsake."
John threw him a steely look, his lips thinning on thinking on the dangers still out there for his youngest, "Ants can bite Dean. The sooner he learns to squish them the better."
Dean threw him a rueful smile, "You really think if you keep chipping away at him that he's gonna change that much? He still one hundred percent geeky little Sammy under all that growth spurt dad."
"Yeah, but maybe with all those growing pains he's going through it will help straighten his thinking out."
"No matter how much it hurts him?"
John slowly refilled his mug and kept his voice level as his guts twisted inside at his son's poignant observance, "If it keeps him alive Dean, I don't care how much it hurts him."
Knocking on the door Sam realised he wasn't fully prepared for the task ahead when it swung open and he was faced by the well lined face of a homely middle age woman. Fair in colouring and short of stature she eyed Sam with a curious air, not able to place him as any friend of her two youngest children. "Can I help you son?"
Swallowing what little moisture he had in his suddenly dry mouth Sam nodded slightly, "Yes ma'am. If your Mrs Merton I need to pass on a message to you."
The woman frowned, studied the tall teenager in front of her with sudden suspicion. "You're not one of them bible trashing weirdos from the county over next, because I'm telling you now I'm a good god fearing woman who don't need to hear any of that new age crap on my doorstep."
Sam quickly shook his and a smile deepened his dimples for a brief second, "No ma'am, I'm just here to keep a promise to friend who helped me a while back."
Mrs Merton studied him again, saw only soft eyes that she couldn't turn away from. "Okay son, best start spilling as I have a cake in the oven that I don't mean to let burn. You look half frozen so come in and warm up in the kitchen."
Sam hesitated, eyes darting past the woman to see into the comfortable setting inside and his tummy did a small flip-flop. Matt had this life, a mom, a dad, a real complete family that the bastard Burnett had taken from him. Now matter how crazy he might sound in the next five minutes he had at least let his mom know just how much he had treasured it. How much he really had loved them all.
Sam took a long breath efore stepping inside to follow knowing that this one last thing he could do for Matt Merton no matter how painful it might prove to be.
John tapped the glass of his wristwatch impatiently. When Sam had said he'd be a little late after school he had taken it to mean only a few minutes not a full two hours later with still no sign of him.
After the first hour Dean's impatience and growing concern had won out and he had taken off in the impala to go find him. Still another hour later he was missing both sons and they were fast losing daylight.
Mind made up he shrugged on his jacket taking a guess as to where his boy might be and not liking it one little bit, "Damn it Sammy, don't you start up on me here son. We need to keep it together."
After a familiar trek John found his boy by the lake looking utterly lost and his annoyance vanished as his fatherly concerns kicked in. This was the last place his boy should have returned to, "What are you doing here son?"
Startled Sam jerked his head up and spun round sporting a look similar to grief that John never wanted to see on his face. Struggling to keep his own emotional equilibrium John added, "We were supposed to leave for New England remember? Got a long road trip ahead of us and you dawdling like this is putting us behind schedule."
Shaking his head, as if to clear away the cobwebs lingering there, Sam answered, "Sorry sir, I guess I let the time get away from me."
Suspicions arising that maybe his boy's assertion that he had gotten rid of the spirit might be a lie John asked harshly, "What's going on here? Who did you go and see?"
"No one you know. I just kept to a promise is all."
Tensing at the vague answer John snapped back, "Don't get smart with me here boy, give me a name."
For a long moment Sam stared at his father before letting out a shaky breath, "Martha Merton. I made a promise to Matt, a sort of a condition to him passing on. Just making sure I kept it is all."
"Merton, the kid who…." John couldn't finish, aware that he had never taken the time to really ask his boy what had happened that night he had came back here to banish the spirit.
Watching how Sam turned his head away under his glare John's heart lurched and he twisted his fingers into his boy's jacket, "Look…son… I guess a lot happened here that I should have asked you about. I just got so wrapped up in getting you boys well again that I didn't take it in that might want to go over things."
"I don't Sir," responded Sam, pulling away, gently without any sting of anger. He looked wistfully at the lake, grey waters calm in the late afternoon fading light. "Like you said to Dean, shit just happens and we deal with it."
"Yeah, I guess we do." agreed John, "But if you need to talk, well…."
Snorting softly Sam shook his head, "Sounds like as much fun as having teeth pulled. Nothing else to say is there?"
Walking stiffly away Sam threw over his shoulder, "So New England? Sounds as good a place as anywhere to head for after the sunny delights of Wisconsin."
"Son?" pleaded John, not knowing how to break through the armour his boy was freshly sporting. "We good here?"
"Yes Sir. As good as ever," agreed Sam softly with no real fire behind his words. He continued on walking back to the cabin locking mentally and physically away the smarting pain the memories the place gave him. He was dealing with them just like his dad wanted. Just like a Winchester was supposed to do. No all he had to do was deal with facing his brother, smile brightly like expected and keep the pretence on going.
It had taken almost a decade later before Joshua met with a grown up and doped out Sammy Winchester and faced the pent up anger that he had lived with him since Wisconsin. Now days later his jaw ached still from the heavy punch sent his way, the bruising fading but the surrounding tissue still tender. Sipping tiredly on a flat near empty bottle of beer in some seedy bar he sensed killer eyes boring into his back before a fresh bottle landed on the table in front of him. Glancing up he could see the cold expression on Dean's face and swallowed down a gulp of unease.
Softly, too softly, Dean asked, "So big man, something I think you need to fess up to I'm figuring. Something you know about my little brother that no one seems to want to fill me in about."
"It was an age back Dean, and I promised to keep my trap shut. I broke my word once to the boy, I don't intend to do it again. Just let it go. Please."
A dark smile ghosted across Dean's face, his voice a warning as he demanded, "Nah, don't think so. Not this time. Not when it comes to Sammy."
Sam watched in the shadows, sitting at a small unlit table, studying his brother's expression change from disbelief to anger to then utter devastation as he heard the story spill out from the older hunter. After all the years of suppression he didn't know whether he felt any relief as the truth came out, about an episode in his life he had smothered to almost non-existence in trying salvage a relationship with his brother and father that had been so badly fractured. Silently he stood up and left the noise of the bar to drink in the cold night air wondering why life just kept screwing him and his brother over, time and time again.
As he sat on the hood of the impala he knew sooner rather than later he'd have to face the disappointment spill out of his brother but right now all he wanted to do was keep some distance from having to feel such intense emotions, even if it did seem the cowards way out.
For once he just didn't want to feel anything. It didn't work and a few seconds later his heart thumped loud in chest in panic, wondering when to expect his brother's irate appearance.
'Dean will forgive me', he told himself in silent prayer. 'Please god, he has to.'
A sad smile ghosted over his face, tears suddenly too big for his eyes on thinking on his brother and the love and faith that went it. Dean despite everything would always be his own personal superglue; his ability to stick him back together again each time he broke apart sometimes a miracle in itself.
'Yeah.' he told himself again, "Dean will forgive me, might want to knock some sense into my stupid head first but he won't stay angry with me forever.'
Dean was his big brother after all, would always be one step ahead on the road ahead of them, a buffer to the encroaching darkness they both could feel coming their way.
Standing up abruptly Sam found his courage once again, his belief in his brother unshakeable, and he headed back to the bar to have that long awaited talk with his brother. Chick flick moment in the making he guessed, with a wry smile. Go figure.
Well a bit of a long journey to reach the end here folks, and I just hope you had the staying power to stick with it. The final segment of this chapter is a reference to my previous story ' Becoming too visible' and so seemed the perfect way to wrap the storyline arc up. Again huge thanks for having the patience to stick with this and to all the support you have given me. Rozzy


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Paul Moiser's Aviation Photography
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Ho Chi Minh City December 2012
December 2-5, 2012
Paul Moiser's Aviation Photography
Ho Chi Minh City December 2012
My first time to Vietnam and what a place. I flew from Bangkok with Qatar Airways on B77W A7-BAP flight QR616. Flying time from BKK was 1hr 5 minutes. Photos in this section were taken from room 1120 at the Starcity Saigon hotel located just over a mile from the airport, and from the Moonlight Coffee Lounge area located on the 11th floor of the CT Plaza shopping centre facing the airport. My full report can be found by clicking the following link http://www.plane-spotting-hotels.com/plane_spotting_vietnam.htm
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Studies are inconclusive. But they do show that domestic violence in the U.S. is pervasive, destructive, and often ignored.
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Bears nickelback Bryce Callahan will start against Chargers
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Julep Nail Polish: Wear Test Results!Sunday, December 19, 2010
A few days ago I posted about Julep Nail Polishes, and started a contest (there are still a few hours to enter- go check it out!) I promised a fifth color swatch and the results of a wear test.
As usual, it's very difficult to get the exact shade of red, though the pictures here are a pretty accurate representation of how it looks in slightly different lights. Marilyn is a deep red, jelly finish (this is 3 coats to opacity) with amazing glitter. It just shines like crazy- I honestly lost count of how many compliments this color received when I was wearing it.
One note: This shade (as well as Cyndi, which I featured the other day) do come out a little bit bumpy which cuts down on the shine and shimmer of the glitter. You'll need a thick top coat like Seche Vite to take advantage of the color.
Read on to see how it wore.
As you can see from this picture, the polish did really well. This is my right hand (yes, I'm right handed) after 5 days of working and purposefully using my nails as tools. I was trying hard to get this polish to chip, and finally on the 5th morning I managed 2 small chips. I was peeling stickers off of something for the baby's new room, and I swear the stickers were super glued on.
I did use Julep's base coat for this mani, and I tried to use their top coat as well. With 2 coats the overall effect was still a bit bumpy so I did use a coat of Seche Vite over that. The SV really evened things out and brought out the shine like crazy. Overall I was really impressed with the polish! 5 days of wear is something that I can get with only a few brands. Add on how pretty the colors are and the huge number of compliments... Definitely a brand I'll be recommending in the future.
Julep Nail Parlor & Polish
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We are now less than a month away from knowing the 23-man roster for the U.S. World Cup team and there are still a bunch of unanswered questions and extremely tough decisions for Bob Bradley to make.
Does he bring Edson Buddle or Herculez Gomez? Does he ignore DaMarcus Beasley's lack of playing time and bring him anyway? Will Charlie Davies be able to make it all the way back? Does he find a place for Brian Ching?
A lot of the questions that still remain will be answered in the coming weeks as the U.S. team's pre-World Cup training camp kicks off, and friendlies against the Czech Republic and Turkey help paint a clearer picture of who should be on the roster.
Here is our final edition of SBI 23 for 2010, with the 23-man roster we see Bradley taking to South Africa (as well as the starting lineup we see facing England on June 12):
SBI 23 for 2010 (May 2010 edition)
GOALKEEPERS– Tim Howard, Marcus Hahnemann, Brad Guzan
DEFENDERS– Carlos Bocanegra, Oguchi Onyewu, Jonathan Spector, Steve Cherundolo, Jonathan Bornstein, Jay DeMerit, Clarence Goodson
MIDFIELDERS– Landon Donovan, Michael Bradley, Ricardo Clark, Stuart Holden, DaMarcus Beasley, Benny Feilhaber, Jose Francisco Torres, Maurice Edu, Alejandro Bedoya
FORWARDS- Clint Dempsey, Jozy Altidore, Charlie Davies, Edson Buddle
Left off last team– Conor Casey
New additions– Edson Buddle
Thoughts on this month's selections:
Choosing between Buddle, Gomez and Brian Ching wasn't easy at all, but Ching's injury status makes him a risky pick and while expect Bob Bradley to take either Ching or Conor Casey, it seems so tough to leave either Buddle or Gomez behind.
I would have a hard time leaving Gomez behind given his recent form, but Bradley's comments about Buddle and Gomez would seem to suggest that he prefers Buddle, and it's unlikely both forwards would make the team. If Davies can't go, that could pave the way for Gomez to make the squad, though Bradley might be more inclined to include Ching.
Beasley almost didn't make this squad but I really can't imagine Bradley leaving Beasley off even give his lack of playing time. Beasley showed in the friendly vs. the Netherlands that he can still bring some good qualities to the table and he's the most experienced winger in the pool.
Once again, our squad has one less defender and one more midfielder than most teams take. This seems like an even more likely scenario after hearing Bradley talk about the versatility of his defenders and how that will impact the positional breakdown of the roster.
So what will the USA starting lineup look like against England? Here is our projected starting lineup for the June 12th World Cup opener:
USA vs. ENGLAND
What do you think of the squad? who isn't on the team that you feel should be? What do you think of the projected starting lineup vs. England?
Share your thoughts below.
Lil' Zeke
You're the one who's lost your edge. Imagine, sitting around all day reading tweets
Lil' Zeke
Nice assist from Buddle last Sat. I can't remember if it was a pass though
The roster seems about right, but in my opinion I would take out 2 or 3 from that roster.
I take Adu over Bedoya for many reasons. The 2010 highlights so far have been better with Adu than Bedoya. Pure fact.
I hope DMB gets on that plane. So far every game he has been in this year he has performed well.
Drop clown Buddle, I don't care if this kid is the Messi of MLS, he has shown he can't hang in a USMNT jersey. Bring Gomez in, he plays in a much superior league.
Bornstein? I can't believe this guy plays like crap in important games for us, yet he still get's called in to the roster without anyone questioning it. I just don't get it. We have a few players in the pool that can play his position, so why waste a W.C roster spot… o well
Finally A Thinker Like Me. Sometimes I think People Are Lost in Translation About Adu Forget What You Heard The kid Has Ball Skill Every Coach He Has Played For Cn Co-Sign That Now Its Up To BB To Bring The best Out OF Him,Other Coaches Did It on the youth level, plus i cant stress this enough but if donovan goes down hurt honestly adu is the only one with as much one on one, player to player confidence as him to take his place help the kid he's 20 don't bring him now … were killing our own team like that.
Against England i'd go with:
Spector. Demerit Gooch Boca
Bradley. Edu
Dempsey. Holden. Landon
Jozy 60 min sub for Gomez
Bedoya 70 min sub for Dempsey
too bad Demerit will miss the England game, then.
Micah King
Also, Benny seems invisible when he on the left side wing.
No Davies
I don't see how anyone can even think to bring Davies to the tournament. He's been out of the game for over nine months, and though a great "feel good" story, how much can he actually bring to the table. His pace was his best asset and will most likely be an issue coming off his injury. Bring someone, anyone else that could play and contribute other than starring in a ESPN puff piece by Erin Andrews.
Bedoya goes the full 90 again and gets an assist, again.
Why would you sub Dempsey out in the 70th? He's one of our best impact players and scores a lot of (important) goals towards the end of matches.
Starting Gomez against England? That is beyond the realm of possibility.
Apparently Low has bigger go..s than those here who promote Hejduk, Ching, and Beasley,
"Low opted to go with youth as he called up the likes of Bayern Munich duo Thomas Muller and Holger Badstuber and also found room for Bayer Leverkusen's Toni Kroos and the coach has no regrets over his choices"
"We deliberately chose younger players," Low said. "They may be short on experience but they have a lot of qualities."
Who would be the equivalent English picks?
For Ching they could choose Hesky
For Hejduk there is G. Neville
For Beasley why not Bullard?
Most English WC opponents would applaud these nostalgia picks.
Go to any top side and choose 3 players from the past for a great laugh. I applaud Low, sport is the ultimate, 'but what are you doing now' profession.
Staten Island United
"But I would argue having a player that stays home would apply less pressure on our opponents defense……. Edu is a Box to Box mid who can get forward as well as stay home. He is the type player that comes in late and gets a tap in off of a scramble in the box…………. We wouldnt need a d-mid if boca played left back because he will stay home and wont get caught upfield……. D-mids usually are used when a teams full backs push up to much and get caught out of position"
I like your philosophy on how to play but you know who plays the way you describe? Brazil.
They do that because they have the guys who can play that way. We just don't, at least not for as long as they can or at the same level.
I love Edu, probably because I want to see as many Terps ( Edu, Gonzalez, Goodson, Seitz) on the USMNT as possible, but he's still a little tactically naive and I think Rico is just a bit more bloody minded. The USMNT will need someone with that Roy Keane mentality and Rico is closer to that than is Mo. In fact, I wanted to play Boca in front of the center backs with Spector,Pearce,JB or Edu at left back. Edu not a LB you say? He's a good,smart, athletic player and I think he would surprise people there.
I wouldn't have a big problem with Edu starting but I prefer Rico for the World Cup.
"IF Davies AND Ching are 100% fit, I'm okay bringing both and leaving Buddle and Gomez behind."
Well EA, that's one way to hedge your bets. It's almost impossible that these two will be 100%.
I'm assuming you mean 100% by the time camp rolls around but, even that miraculously happens, the real issue is how would these two hold up for the tournament. I don't believe either one will be healthy enough to play three full games in the World Cup. This isn't some summer exhibition tournament you know? It's about as intense as it gets.
So why would you, if you are the manager, want to handicap the team by bringing players who are probably not going to be able to go the whole distance? If they were Pele,Cruyff, Maradona or Messi at their peak that would be one thing but these guys are not that kind of player. Both are replaceable.
I'm more concerned with our starters getting a few days at the beginning of camp !!!!
That's a concern we should all have. It's been a long season for a lot of these guys and they can use a few days off.
Did you hear that Mr. Bradley ??????
The Unthinkable – neither Davies nor Onyewu make it due to incomplete recoveries and fitness. Versatility of Edu allows BB to bring only 7 defenders with Edu being an emergency CB replacement if needed. DMB is Mr. Outside Looking In @ #24 and could slide in replacing Ching or Torres / Feilhaber, which would move Dempsey back up into the forward pool.
Final 23 becomes:
GOALKEEPERS (3)- Tim Howard, Marcus Hahnemann, Brad Guzan
DEFENDERS (7)- Carlos Bocanegra, Jonathan Spector, Steve Cherundolo, Jonathan Bornstein, Jay DeMerit, Clarence Goodson, Heath Pearce
MIDFIELDERS (9)- Landon Donovan, Michael Bradley, Ricardo Clark, Stuart Holden, Benny Feilhaber, Jose Francisco Torres, Maurice Edu, Alejandro Bedoya, Clint Dempsey
FORWARDS (4)- Herc Gomez, Jozy Altidore, Brian Ching, Edson Buddle
Benny is best suited for 30 hard minutes off the bench; unless his fitness has improved dramatically, which I doubt since he was out for so long, then he conserves too much when he's the starter for the USMNT…not what is needed from that position for this team
Stuart conserves nothing, so let him go on the right with Benny the energizer sub (probably centrally tho) and/or Alejandro, or whoever, once Stuart drains the tank. Landon is on the left.
Benny is best suited for 30 hard minutes off the bench; unless his fitness has improved dramatically, which I doubt since he was out for so long, then he conserves too much when he's the starter for the USMNT…not what is needed from that position for this team
Stuart conserves nothing, so let him go on the right with Benny the energizer sub maybe (but probably centrally tho) and/or Alejandro, or whoever, once Stuart drains the tank. Landon is on the left.
I like it a lot Ives. I think you nail it, especially in choosing between Buddle and Gomez.
Bradley likes Buddle because he does "all the little things off the ball" that makes him a team player. Buddle also has been playing entire games, and he has chemistry with Donovan. Though Gomez scores in a tougher league, Bradley hasn't said the same things about his work ethic, and he hasn't been Donovan's favorite target lately.
Buddle only goes if Ching is injured, which currently he isn't, OR if Davies does not make it, which at this point we just don't know.
BUT, if one of them are injured then Buddle will have to duke it out with Casey for that final spot.
Other than that, you got it, and those are iffy anyways. I like Pearce, but I like that you left him off and added Beasley, I think that should happen. Maybe Pearce beats out Bornstein in camp, but that will be an uphill battle. Maybe he takes Pierce over Torres. I like Torres, but he hasn't looked comfortable starting in center yet. He needs time, and I'm not sure he has got it (yes, all those games wasted on Kljestan and Torres hasn't built up a comfort level…)
What is the American equivalent to Rooney, Thomas Muller, and Holger Badstuber????
Our best forwards besides Dempsey, Davies, Donovan, and Altidore ARE Ching, Buddle, Gomez, and Casey. Scoff all you want, but where are America's Rooneys in MLS tearing it up at 18 and ready to actually play in a World Cup! I'll take the guys who are our best right now, not hopeful inexperience.
I will allow, however, Bedoya over Beasley. But if Beasley is just a reserve anyway, I sure would rather have him on the bench than Rogers' youth ANY DAY.
this hurts my brain
I get so tired of rehashing and rehashing the Bornstein is the problem left back dilemna.
Its over. He has shown better leadership as a back up left back than Pearce or Castillo. Yes, he pretty much sucks, but damnit, that is the state of American effin soccer.
support the team you have in South Africa, not the team you imagine we have
Fire BB
ching is nothing more than a concacaf bench warmer, let's not forget that. does he have experience? if by experience you mean someone who traveled to the last cup and contributed nothing, yes. just because he traveled to the last cup does that mean he deserves to be picked over someone who's relatively young and untested at the highest of levels? umm, no. remember how dmb and landycakes played in their first cup when they were relatively inexperienced? rather than suffer from their lack of experience they used their naivety to their advantage. they didn't play scared, they attacked people and, it's pretty easy to argue, they both had their best cup to date. sometimes the young kids playing with swagger are what an otherwise veteran team needs to spice things up a bit.
Fire BB
ching is nothing more than a concacaf bench warmer, let's not forget that. does he have experience? if by experience you mean someone who traveled to the last cup and contributed nothing, yes. just because he traveled to the last cup does that mean he deserves to be picked over someone who's relatively young and untested at the highest of levels? umm, no. remember how dmb and landycakes played in their first cup when they were relatively inexperienced? rather than suffer from their lack of experience they used their naivety to their advantage. they didn't play scared, they attacked people and, it's pretty easy to argue, they both had their best cup to date. sometimes the young kids playing with swagger are what an otherwise veteran team needs to spice things up a bit.
Good point,that. Still, guys like Holden, Klestjan, Davies, Altidore, and Adu all show some hunger and interest in their tweets (and no, I don't read them all day). I hope I'm wrong about Beasley …
Chemistry set
Well, you saw how badly it affected Donovan at Everton because he had never played with any of those Everton outfield players before.
Maybe if Buddle had gone to Everton with him, he would have done better. It's a shame really.
"Buddle like Findley, is built far far too small to compete against a bruising team and none of our group are anything but bruising teams"
Too bad we don't have a bruising forward like Messi to play for us. You need to have that kind of size and power to get anyhwere in a World Cup.
I would MUCH rather have Heath Pearce on the squad than Bornstein. I thought Pearce was among the strongest players in the Netherlands match — I'll admit that I haven't watched as much as I'd like. But Bornstein's been horrible lately, and prior to this spell, he was never that good. I'd like to see Cherundolo or Pearce on the outside, unless we get more creative by using a defensive mid there.
I agree that Bocanegra's better in the middle than on the outside. But DeMerit has looked so solid that it's hard not to have him in the game. I even like Goodson in the middle. Seems we have a glut up the middle and okay/poor options outside. I know this is sacrelige, but I don't think that Guch is automatic. Right now, I might go with Boca and DeMerit.
But what really holds the U.S. back from being top flight, is the lack of a class distributor and ball handler in the middle. I love Bradley and Edu, but to me, they are defensive central midfielders. I've really wanted Torres to be that offensive mid/distributor (to me, he is the best w/ ball at his feet) but I've never seen him put it all together for a full match with USMNT. He's not ready. In a perfect world, Torres (or someone else) would be that attacking central midfielder with Bradley supporting and Edu at marking back (or vice versa). Too late for that now probably, but a man can dream about having the best 11 on the field.
"ching is nothing more than a concacaf bench warmer"
I had to stop there.
Ching scores many goals in Concacaf on the nats, as well as in Houston. He has been a solid performer for the nats, chalking up many assists of assists and penalties. Rarely does he make a poor pass or lose possession in the final third, which leads to goals. That is also a breath of fresh air from the likes of EJ who started last world Cup!!!
You are nothing more than a blind soccer fan.
Our defense may be our weakest point. Gooch will prob not be fit. There is little speed. You need a calendar to measure Boca's speed. He is best at center back. Dolo has experience, and is still the man to beat at right back. Beasley may be an interesting option on the left. Having a back 3 'stay at home' may be the best way to go, with 2 defensive midfielders in front of them. Everyone deserves a look but regular experience with players in the team pool is important (ie the recent form of Buddle and Gomez may be a fluke). Altidore has a lot to prove with his classic screw up. He may be MLS bound if he does not prove himself. We may be better off with a midfield of withdrawn forwards (Donovan and Dempsey) and the above mentioned defensive midfielders. I still think we are in major trouble.
Sure, Walcott is not the sharpest blade in the drawer.
Whatareyoutalking about?
"I get mad everytime I see great offensive US talent not being used properly and effectively. "
You know El, I have yet to see great offensive US talent in the current cycle.
Here's hoping Gomez and Buddle work out.


text:
"What in the name of StarClan happened to you?!" Skystreak looked as if she was about to leap at the injured cats at any moment.
"I told you not to look for trouble, Specklestone. And what did you do?" She didn't wait for an answer. She lashed her stubby tail angrily.
"Now look at you! You have lead your Clanmates into danger, and one will have a scar that she will never forget! You are a disgrace to this Clan!" The white she-cat scraped the ground with unsheathed claws.
"Now Skystreak, I'm sure that these worn out cats have an explanation to their little mishap? Pebblestar looked at Specklestone expectantly. The rest of StormClan had gathered around to hear her tale as well.
Reluctantly, at first, the gray speckled she-cat told the story of the intruding rogues. She made sure that she picked up every detail, and didn't exaggerate. Though it tore her to pieces, Specklestone even told about Risingstorm "inviting" the tabby tom over the border. When she was all finished, the all of the Clan cats' fur was ruffled as if they were ready to fight. Occasional yowls of protest rose from them.
Pebblestar raised his tail for silence. He spoke, "Risingstorm, Goldenpaw. Is this story that Specklestone told true, to the very last word?"
Goldenpaw nodded, while Risingstorm mewed, "Yes, Pebblestar."
The light blue leader nodded with approval. "Then Skystreak, you owe these cats an apology. Never scorn a cat if you don't know their story."
Skystreak's tail went down. "Sorry, I should have known better." She apologized to the patrol. They all blinked in acknowledgement.
Pebblestar turned to Risingstorm. "As for you, you have been a warrior for quite some time now. You should know better than to antagonize an intruder like that. As for you punishment, you will be cleaning ticks off the elders for half a moon. Next time, I won't be so easy on you."
Now it was Risingstorm's turn to be embarrassed. "It won't happen again, Pebblestar." He mumbled.
"I'll see that it won't." He meowed, gesturing with his tail that the cats were dismissed.
The surrounding cats began to break up now, seeing that the excitement was over. Specklestone leaned towards Risingstorm to whisper in his ear, "I'm sorry. I should have..."
But the blue tabby tom cut her off, "No, no. It was my fault. I can't just antagonize cats like that. You did the right thing by telling the truth."
Speckstone felt their pelts brushing for a moment, and wished that that moment could have lasted forever.


text: Udemy - Build Cross-Platform HTML5 Games with Construct 2 - Part Two WEBRip | MP4/AVC, ~369 kb/s | 1280 x 720 | English: AAC, 63.2 kb/s (2 ch), 44.1 KHz | 873 MB Genre: Development / Game Development | Language: English | +Project Files "Beginning game developers can build two mobile games from scratch in with Construct 2 to sell in app stores. w/ assets " Build two games that can be used on iOS, Android, Windows Phone and more with no prior programming or development experience. Links to all assets and project files are included so you can follow along. This is the second part of a two-part course. The courses can be watched in any order, and you can watch this part without needing to watch the first. ---GAME ONE: TROLL SMASH In this section, you will learn how to create Troll Smash: a game based on dodging and attacking with a single melee attack. I have been developing video games for more than 9 years and I have mostly worked on Flash, mobile and HTML5 games. I am an experienced programmer and designer and I am highly proficient in Actionscript 3.0, C# and Unity, Construct 2, Object Oriented Programming, math and testing. I started working as a programmer intern in a local game development company and I now work as a freelancer and under the name GGames. What you'll learn in this section: Importing and managing sprites and animations Creating game mechanics A progressive wave system Health bars Procedural object generation Object behaviors Menus Sounds and music ---- GAME TWO: ASTRO NOVA In this section, you will learn how to create a in the top-down shooter genre (the style of popular games like Raiden or Strike 1942). What you'll learn in this section: Importing and managing sprites and animations Creating game mechanics A progressive wave system Health bars Procedural object generation Object behaviors Menus Sounds and music Throughout the lectures of this course, you will learn many important things for professional Construct 2 game development. Practice your newly acquired skills and make great games! What are the requirements? Students will need to have Construct 2 installed on their computer(A personal or business license is required to fully develop the game) Although not necessarily required, previous game development experience is preferable What am I going to get from this course? Over 25 lectures and 4.5 hours of content! Create a fully functional quality HTML5 game compatible with desktop and mobile devices Use Construct 2 to create commerical quality games Learn how to create a top-down shooter game What is the target audience? Anyone who wants to learn Construct 2 should take this course Anyone who wants to create HTML5 games should take this course Advanced Construct 2 developers should not take this course Buy Premium From My Links To Get Resumable Support,Max Speed & Support Me Code: [b]Download (Secureupload)[/b] https://xxxxxxxx/n4ryv6s0r3mr/zwp3v...Build.CrossPlatform.HTML5.Games.with.Construct.2..Part.Two.part1.rar https://xxxxxxxx/cbp4lw9pvig6/zwp3v...Build.CrossPlatform.HTML5.Games.with.Construct.2..Part.Two.part2.rar Download ( NitroFlare ) http://www.nitroflare.com/view/818EC3E17EF9379/zwp3v...Build.CrossPlatform.HTML5.Games.with.Construct.2..Part.Two.part1.rar http://www.nitroflare.com/view/F7C99900B1D7E80/zwp3v...Build.CrossPlatform.HTML5.Games.with.Construct.2..Part.Two.part2.rar


text:
So no more pregnancy posts as our beautiful baby boy has finally arrived. It feels unbelievably strange to actually have him here beside me instead of inside me but also fantastic. The last week has been an absolutely roller coaster of emotions and hormones, I can scarcely believe he's now just over a week old. How has it been that long since he made his way, yowling very loudly, into the world?
Waiting For The End
O.k so my last post wasn't strictly the last one about pregnancy, I'm still flipping pregnant and just waiting for the end now. After having been pregnant for 9 months and having the fertility treatment before that it's been a long time since I felt my body was my own. Below are some of the things I'm desperate to do again.
The Pregnancy Diaries – Week 36
Ok so I'm pretty much done with pregnancy now. Between chronic heartburn and horrendously swollen ankles I'm getting pretty desperate to see the end even though that's means going through labour. My pregnancy hormones are at full capacity and the poor Husband is coping amazingly well with my raging mood swings. I think both of us will be glad when this is over and it's not just because we'll get to meet our baby!
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Natulux Hotel is located in Furano. Natural and relaxed - we have pursued these themes. One can rid themselves of the fatigue of their journey in a refined space. Every room contains a unity of chic color and wooden furniture. In some of the rooms, there are walls and ceilings of bare concrete and ...
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Traxxas High Speed Needle Valve & Seat Assembly
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This is a replacement Traxxas High Speed Needle Valve and Seat Assembly, with nut.
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- Audio
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- Alto Mix Pack Express 2x150 (rms) 7-Channel, DSP, Graphic EQ Portable PA
Alto Mix Pack Express 2x150 (rms) 7-Channel, DSP, Graphic EQ Portable PA
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Buy this from the A.C. Audio Online Store. Request more information or contact us now for purchasing information.
Ultra-Portable Clean Power With Effects and EQ
The 350 Watt MIXPACK Express is one of three PA systems in the MIXPACK line, along with the 600 Watt MIXPACK and 1000 Watt MIXPACK Pro. Being the lightest and most portable of all MIXPACK PAs has its advantages. There simply isn't an easier, more affordable way to get this much clean power, mixing and Alesis DSP effects in one place. It takes only a few minutes from the time you bring MIXPACK Express into the venue, to the time the gig powers on, and power on it will.
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Mixer Section
- Microphone/Line Input: Electronically balanced, discrele input configuration
- Frequency Response: 10 Hz to 55 kHz, +/-3 dBu
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Really late White Campion I found on a walk in Roseburg, Oregon USA. This was taken with a Panasonic Lumix DMC-LS70.
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Ingolstadt/Silverstone - Perfect qualifying result in England: Despite the difficult weather conditions Audi secured the fastest time in qualifying for the fourth time this season in the FIA World Endurance Championship WEC. Audi remains unbeaten in qualifying in the first half of the season after Benoît Tréluyer took pole position in the Audi R18 e-tron quattro at Silverstone. Both Audi R18 sports cars start from the front row on Sunday.
The spectators were treated to a thrilling 20 minute long qualifying session as the tire choice was not easy on the damp track at the start. Audi started qualifying with both R18 sports cars on intermediate tires.
Initially Allan McNish held sway in the conventionally powered Audi R18 ultra with start number '2'. Afterwards, on the drying track the lap times improved by seconds.
When both Audi drivers swapped from intermediate tires to slicks at the halfway stage, Toyota took first place.
Three minutes before the end of the session Allan McNish moved to the front. Benoît Tréluyer, who is driving for the first time at Silverstone, countered with a lap time of 1m 43.663s.
The Le Mans winner in the Audi R18 e-tron quattro with start number '1' bettered the time of his team mate by two tenths of a second. Allan McNish then went on to improve again. The Scotsman was beaten in qualifying for his home race by the incredibly small margin of one hundredths of a second.
Following the exciting battle between the concepts the Audi hybrid car defended its unbeaten run: at the second race of the season at Spa as well as at the 24 Hours of Le Mans the Audi R18 e-tron quattro remained unbeaten in all three qualifying sessions. It was the first fastest time of the season for Benoît Tréluyer.
Qualifying at Silverstone rounded off a perfect qualifying Saturday for Audi. Roughly two hours before, the brand clinched the first five grid positions at the DTM race at Zandvoort.
Source: Audi Motorsport


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Kankuro Hoshino
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This article is a stub, an article too short to provide more than rudimentary information about a subject. You can help Pro Wrestling Wiki by expanding it.
Kankuro Hoshino is a Japanese male professional wrestler.
In wrestling
- Finishers and signature moves
- Kankuro Cutter
- Spear
- Lariat
- Senton
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|Reviews for Lessons on Losing and Holding on
| Maya1109 chapter 3 . 9/30/2014
This was seriously good, and I get why you left out the the more intimate stuff at the end of chapter 2, I thought it was smart/classy, this fic is more than passionate enough without it. Awesome fic really...
| RayenOfDeadStarsAndPlanets chapter 3 . 5/27/2012
This was amazing! I love it!
| Listen To The Dots chapter 1 . 9/5/2011
...That was so deep... Kyouya.. First favourite 3 ... I think it's because I'm more like him ;D But.. Then again. I don't think I would have minded if I had Kaoru's arms around me **Dreamy sigh** 3
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/23/2011
that was just beautiful,
i love the way you write, it flows so smoothly.
one of the best i ve read, honestly.
it was heartwarming, loving and sexy at the same time.
thank you :) for unloading this
| DellaNee-Chan chapter 3 . 9/10/2010
Kyoya: Great review.
SHUT UP! So poetic, so in character! Ugh, it was perfect! It was a little confusing at some parts but... idk it was amazing!
| cyberangle chapter 1 . 9/4/2010
aawwwww you stoped too soon TT
| Clashing Harmony chapter 3 . 6/28/2009
Soo cute! A sequel, perhaps? Loved it to bits. Kyouya's reaction at the end was simply FABULOUS! Warm without being OOC. Keep it up!
| Clashing Harmony chapter 2 . 6/28/2009
You are right, I'm glad u didn't make it into a lemon. Well done!
| Clashing Harmony chapter 1 . 6/28/2009
Loved it. Great characterizations and plot.
| Niwaki chapter 3 . 5/9/2009
it's really cute please continue to write in the future
| chobnbeese chapter 3 . 2/11/2009
me likey very much! XD
| Une Reine Guadeloupeenne chapter 3 . 7/7/2008
Aw! _ That was so sweet! I really liked it. You did a great job explaning everything that they were feeling. I even felt bad for the two of them! Amazing job.
| syntic chapter 3 . 5/26/2008
That's it? No more? I want it to keep going, but, but... three solid chapters of beautifully written words can never be enough to satisfy me, yet the way it ended was just so lovely. Makes me want to cry. ;_;
I really, really enjoyed this. You tried to depict Kaoru as being strong, but its well enough that Kyouya stepped in and gave him a helping hand anyways. No pit of dispair... yet. XD Please keep up the excellent work! : D
| gem2niki chapter 1 . 9/10/2007
Ah...so good. The way you write it was so descriptive and well written that it makes it even hotter XD
I like how you broke the parts by "They made sure it only happened during school time. " sentence. Clever.
*off to read the next chapter*
| Minkira chapter 3 . 8/28/2007
aw~ i'm so happy listening to my girly music and reading my girly fics~ this is true bliss!