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My husband checks out other women
I often notice my husband checking out other women. When I confront him about it, he says that there's nothing wrong with looking, and he has no intention to do anything more. Am I right to be concerned, or am I overreacting?
Dave: Early in our marriage, it came as a real surprise to me to discover that I could still be attracted to another person, even though I was newly and happily married. I felt perplexed and besieged by guilt when I found myself noticing other women during that first year of marriage. I had a gorgeous wife and we had a great sex life together, so it was like, what's the problem here?
Donalyn: As wives, we need to remember that we don't think like our men on most things. A great first step is to have an honest conversation with your husband and attempt to discover how he thinks. How do you think, Dave?
Dave: I learned early on that, like most men, I tend to be visually stimulated and thus easily drawn to notice and be enticed by feminine shapes. I had no issues with pornography, but I needed to learn how to manage my eyes and focus on a woman's countenance, and not on her body. I had to treat her as a sister, and not store up sexual data that I could use mentally later.
Donalyn: This can be hard for a woman to hear, because it's so foreign to our own thinking. This fixation on looks can seem so shallow to us. But just because it's different doesn't mean this visual attraction is bad. It's how men are wired. In fact, it can be a very good thing – it's probably one of the things that attracted your husband to you in the first place. But you still have to share your concerns.
Dave: You need to let him see how this is affecting you. Rather than coming at him with guns blazing, which would push him away, open up your heart and tell him how it makes you feel when you see him looking at other women.
Donalyn: First you need to come to grips with your own feelings. It may help to write down the emotions you experience when you notice him doing this, so you can sort through it and decide what needs to be shared with your husband. And go beyond your surface feelings to see if there are deeper issues underneath. Ask yourself why this really bothers you. Are you insecure with how you look? Are you uncertain about your friendship with your husband? Do you question his faithfulness? If you have underlying insecurities, you will need to work through that even as your husband deals with his issues.
Dave: The way in which you confront your husband on this is critical. This is a difficult, private matter for most men, and if you approach it from the wrong direction, he will probably shut right down.
Donalyn: So because this will be difficult, start by trying to understand where he's coming from on this. Reassure him of your love and commitment to him, and then have the courage to ask clarifying questions. Ask him why he looks at other women. What does he notice most? Does he think about them later? Does he feel in control over what and who he looks at? Does he have a problem with second looks and having to scope out the whole package? While you need honest answers to these questions if you're going to work through this together, be patient and as supportive as you can be throughout the process.
Dave: Let me be clear that the fact that men are visually drawn to women does not make it okay to engage in lustful looks. It is not a wise practice for any man who wants to protect his marriage, and in many cases it can be an issue of sin. Jesus said that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:27-28). So while your husband is likely being honest when he says he has no intention of doing anything beyond looking, the act of looking can still be a problem, especially if he is replaying it in his mind later. Not only that, but in this situation he is not even trying to be discreet about it when you're around, and that is cause for concern. If he freely looks when you are with him, how bold is he when you are not present?
Donalyn: Ask your husband what needs are being met in him as he looks at other women. The truth is, this behaviour could be a sign of other issues: his dissatisfaction with you and the marriage, a problem with pornography, or fantasies about being with other women. Hopefully this is not the case with your husband, but it is better to address it now than to wish you had later.
Dave: There are also some steps you can take individually or as a couple to reduce the temptations for your husband going forward. Work together to ensure that you have a regular and mutually-fulfilling sex life. Meet one another's needs so that neither one of you is tempted to have them met elsewhere. I know that when Donalyn and I are not sexually intimate for a period of time, I find it easier to have my mind and eyes carelessly and inappropriately wander. It doesn't excuse it, of course, but the easier you can make it on your husband, the better it will be for both of you.
Donalyn: Take advantage of your husband's visual orientation by making yourself as appealing to him as you can. It's so easy to put the effort in to look good for other people, while failing to make it a priority for our spouse. They are the ones we should be trying to impress! And we all feel better about ourselves when we look our best.
Dave: It would also be helpful to get an outside perspective. With your husband's permission, ask some other men whom you both respect what they think about the issue. In fact, if your husband is open to it, encourage him to get into an accountability relationship with another man. When two men spur one another to love their wives and honour God, it's a powerful thing. Iron sharpens iron!
Donalyn: A great marriage is built on a foundation of transparency. These issues are not easy to discuss, but be patient. Be less threatened, and more focused on working with him to face the issue, without excusing it. As a husband and wife drop their guards and begin to really deal with sticky subjects like this one, it leads to an amazing level of intimacy. It may be difficult, but the result is well worth the risk.
Is Your Husband Watching Porn? Read "Hardcore Betrayal."
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239 Responses to "My husband checks out other women"
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I'm happy to hear that you are seeking therapy Laurel. I found it calmed me down and made me be more objective. Chris, I am mulling over your passionate feelings when it comes to men and their attraction to females. The female gender also has a strong attraction and sex drive towards males. That is the way it is supposed to be. I do believe, however that we are different in many ways. We are turned on by different things. A female can be turned on to a man with a good sense of humor or with a nice smile or eyes. We don't have to imagine them naked or fantasize about what we would like them to do to us, like men do. But that doesn't mean there isn't a strong sexual attraction. My husband once told me not to tell him to stop looking at other women because that would never happen. I don't know if he meant couldn't or wouldn't happen. A friend of mine cleaned out her eighty year old father's apartment and to her dismay found recent porn magazines. So I am beginning to think that men do have such strong physical urges that they have to work hard to control. They do seem to go crazy over good looking, sexy women. But look at teenage girls screaming over young male singers. Whether that is partly from the way we are both made or from what society gives us permission to think and do, I'm not sure. Girls are brought up entirely different than boys so that must have a strong influence on the way each behaves. The only thing I do know is If men and women would be mindful to respect and not be hurtful to their spouses then marriages would be so much better.
Thank you everyone. I saw a counselor yesterday and I told him some of our troubles. He, like you, recommended marital counseling – though, like you, he also anticipated that my husband might not be open to it. I have asked my husband before, and he said no, because he did not believe that we have problems. I tried to tell him that it can be open to any couple, regardless of problems or not, to help a couple learn healthy tools and have the healthiest marriage possible. The counselor yesterday also recommended I go alone if I have to, that it would still benefit me. I am reading a wonderful book right now called "Boundaries" by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. This book includes the Bible in it and teaches a Godly sense of boundaries. It is changing everything about how I view life. I cannot recommend this book enough. I wish all of you peace and healing, and thank you.
Laurel, after reading your story my heart breaks for you because no one deserves to be treated this way. You seem very strong to have endured so much. There is something very wrong with the things that your husband says and does. I don't think the Lord would expect you to be a martyr and just accept abuse. I would definitely seek counseling for myself if your husband won't participate, as others have suggested. If it were me, I would stop complementing him, lay down some rules and tell him to get his act together or it is over. The worst thing you can do is seem needy. There is no justification for what he is doing to you and you don't need to take it. Stay strong, you have God and us behind you.
Thank you Chris weir and Angela. I will do my best. I will accept that my husband chooses to walk his own path, but I will also encourage him to walk on a healthy one, and I will love him regardless.
well, I must say that what you are dealing with is horrible but is not uncommon in this age of Godless marriage. The only cure to repair this is for your husband to talk to Christ himself. He has to want to change. I know that if he asks God to take away his interest in Porn, in other women, in worldly things, that God will not deny him this. Talk to your husband; tell him that you are not his police officer and that if he so chooses the path away from heaven than that is between him and God. By doing this you will make him realize that his rebelling isn't against you anymore for the imagined slights he feels you gave him to justify his offenses that he commits against God and you. The more he thinks about not going to heaven when all his family will, the more things will hit home. All of us have sin (crimes committed against God's will), but the price of sin has been paid for with the acceptance of Christ's payment, a receipt carried in our hearts as proof to show the doorman when we leave this world. All who truly carry this receipt will no longer desire to continue to accrue new sin debt because the Christ in us makes us have too much conviction to continue deliberately living in sin; it will bother us too much. From time to time we may slip but repent and get back up again and follow Christ again. If your man has Christ in him than remind him that his stubborn battle is with God and that is a battle he cannot win in the end. Victory by surrender! As far as being a wife and your part? Support him in his efforts to recommit to Christ. Yes he is at fault in your marriage, but being "right" is not whats important here. You want your husband back and to do that he needs to turn around. He is ill and needs medicine. He already started a little bit after you took yourself out of his line of fire. You are one person and so he causes you pain when he struggles to be the man you need him to be. Because you become one person when you marry, you need to help each other cross the finish line together. Don't be angry with him for his failures as a husband to you. Be understanding, supportive but not enabling. Don't address his sin with scolding and punishment, that will only make things worst and him look at you as the problem as oppose to his heart not being for God. Sin is not what keeps you from heaven because we all have sin but not having Christ's atonement of your sins by accepting him as your savior is what keeps you out of heaven. Once you have Christ in your heart you will no longer desire to sin which is just the by product of being healthy in the Lord. Sin is only a symptom of being sick but rather address where his heart stands with God. If you fix the head, the rest body will follow. Feed him more Christ. We do not work to go to heaven we do not earn salvation. We need only maintain Christ in us and his spirit will do the work for us. Everyone slips and falls but does everyone get back up when they do? envy, anger ,lust ,greed, idolatry, adultery, vanity, is all sin and all sin is worthy of death but once we are freed from our slavery to sin our walks should be more like Christ and should you slip know that Christ covers the sin if you maintain him in your heart and if you maintain the heart the sin will not remain. I think you are doing right Laurel pray, take him to church, read the bible together, watch bible programs and ministry. All this will be feeding him Christ and will return him back to you.
I wonder… I know that envy is a sin. What I wonder is, I can imagine it is envy to look at another woman, as a woman, and wish to be more like her… But it is envy to watch my husband watch another woman and wish for him to look at me that way – or is it hurt? What is the difference between hurt and envy? I agree with you that it is not healthy to feel envious of others, and I should not take to heart what he does with other women (as I mentioned, he crossed boundaries beyond looking. He has taken other women out in place of me, masturbated to other women, denied me repeatedly in favor of porn). I had to let go of him in order to heal and not feel envious anymore. We are still married, but I look less and less to him to appreciate me. I would love to imagine that, as you said, he finds me beautiful and has told others. But unfortunately, I have heard what he has said to others when he didn't know I could hear him. A few times he hung up improperly with me, and I heard him cursing at me with his friends for calling him in the first place, for wanting to be close to him. A few of those times were during our pregnancy. What pregnant mother does not want to be close to her husband, to the mother of her child? He told me that he outright told our mutual friend when he first saw me, "She's OK". He has said harsh things to me, called me stupid, in front of his own friends, and they joined in. The worst was when a woman he was attracted to asked him if he were dating me; he did not answer her. They engaged in a month-long emotional affair. He admitted six months after our wedding that he still felt single with other women. There have been many other ways in which he put his mind and heart with other women, too many ways to name, and a laundry list isn't worth it, but each way feels like a thousand cuts. I know that this goes far beyond the subject of looking, which is our main subject here… But all history is relevant, I believe. It informs where our feelings come from and what we must overcome. He has emotionally abused me; Angela is correct. A strange thing happened after he told me he felt single; two months later, I let go. I accepted that he felt that way, and I told him this, and told him I would accept this about him as well. He changed. He started trying to act more married than before. We have a lot more to learn. I think you're right, Chris weir, that we do not need or should be elevated above others (and also that physical appearance is fleeting and NOT the base of true harmony and intimacy), and perhaps that was a foolish wish of mine. What I wonder then is, where is my place with my husband? Is it beside those other women? Beneath them? Is my only role to raise his son? I know my role in this world, and that's to be healthy and to care for the plants; God made me a gardener. What is my role to my husband? To accept him as he is? To love him as he is? To forgive him for cheating on me? But where is our intimacy? I cannot bring it back alone.
I knew I was the underdog before I posted lol but thanks for the consideration anyway. I normally enjoy this particular subject because I like to share the point of view rarely explained by men to their women because they are too busy making excuses as oppose to being honest. Everyone has a different relationship with God and all will be judged differently based off of their true understanding of God's will. I know it must be hard for a woman to feel as though they are not attractive. As I have said this is man's evil world. Adam and eve were not perfect; they were just not accountable because they did not know God will. Once they knew they actions made them accountable. The world we live in reflects the desires of men. If women ruled the world we would know the desires of women. Men place so much emphasis on appearance which ultimately is idol worship. You are worshipping the body. Often we ourselves want to be worshipped. Of course we are all beautiful since we are God's creations, but do we desire to be elevated above other's in praise? I hear a lot of love songs today saying " I need you" "you are my world" "you are my life" " you complete me" "your eyes are the stars, your fair in the moon" this is all praise given to a person. This was only meant to be given to God. A simple I love you should suffice. Envy is also a sin. There are so many sins, we can't simply pick and choose which ones are ok and which are not. If my wife looks at another man because he is beautiful, it doesn't bother me. Why? Because I know my wife is not with me because she is in love with my appearance. If she was, than I would be in trouble because one day you look a certain way and another day you look different. But I don't want to be a stumbling block for others so each of you must know your heart and not decieve yourselves. I can not say my wife is lusting because only she and God know that. Now if my wife coveted these men she looked at, than that would be a problem, because she is being controlled by her base animal body which is a natural thing but what is natural is sinful. God doesn't want nature, he wants spiritual obedience. It's natural to self-preserve but to do so at the expense of another is sinful. Now angela is right that walking a fine line you are closer to falling off than not. I remember staring at a man for such a long time because his face and body was so beautiful. I could not believe it. I feel like an ass for not being able to get over the fact but I was impressed. I am not gay, just more honest than most men. Women do more to create the illusion that they are beautiful. Guys look. It is not a sin to look, to stare but once you start to desire that person, becoming aroused, coveting sex with a person, which is translated as being "intent" than yes your heart is with that person and there is the adultery. As far as staring is concerned the more you do the more you will do, but than again the more you try to forbid the more alluring it becomes. My advice to guys is that because we have the natural desires which are sinful to suppress the looking because it can turn to lusting. And the wife who notices becomes hurt because she is naturally threatened and jealous which is sinful. A good marriage is one that walks with Christ and knows the dangers of natural biological inclinations. If I get punched in the face it is natural to punch back because it is biological chemical impulse. God does not want natural because he provides us with spirit to override since we have knowledge of good and evil. Now laurel your husband loves you and speaking as a guy he most likely has spoke about your beauty to other people but withholds it from you because he is passive aggressive or spiteful about something like what kids do. Find out what he's resentful about, even if he constantly denies it and resolve it. Men look at other women as objects not as people. Men look at their wives as family. Men don't compare family with objects. You are not your body. Your man is with you because he loves you and there is one you in the world and that will never change and he can never get that from anyone else and no one can ever compete against being you.
Laurel…My heart goes out to you…What you described here sounds far beyond male weakness and temptation…the way your husband shrugs you off on top of it all…sounds like emotional abuse, neglect and plain cruelty. I would strongly recommend spiritual counseling. And stay close to friends and family who can keep you grounded at those low times of self loathing…Your husbands job is to love and protect you…and he is failing. I am sorry.
Chris weir, I want to second Angela to say that I did not mean to jump on your case. I was arguing passionately, which is kind of fun for me, but I do not feel offended by you at all – your posts made me think. I appreciate that you took the time to make your arguments. I hope you don't feel ganged up on, and sorry if I made you feel that way.
Chris…I don't anyone and certainly not myself means to come off as jumping on your case…not that you said that but I do get the feeling that you may be feeling as such. Marriage love and the physical act of marriage love and all that it embraces has been violently attacked by satan. Of course. Why wouldn't he take the most sacred relationship (on earth) and try to destroy it. Sexuality has been grossly perverted and we now live in the very obvious day in age of the 'great falling away'. As you said, many men you speak with…well I would have to say it takes a strong Christian man indeed to see through the "beautiful temptress" aka another woman…and see the devil using her as a tool and weapon against your soul. It's powerful deception indeed. I will comment on your comment..looking or staring at a beautiful woman is not in itself cheating unless one is thinking sexual thoughts…my friend..if a person passes you by be it male or female and they are a strikingly beautiful individual…anyone would notice. However, if you are looking long enough to take a mental picture you are teetering on the edge of temptaion. If you notice her face…ok…but if you are looking at the body and admiring it..I am sorry but you are cheating. Is sexuality the only way to cheat on your spouse? No. ANYTHING which takes you from her/him mentally, spiritually,physically…is cheating. You must love your spouse as Christ loves the church…your marrige is a symbol of what is to come in the promise of Christ and I assure you…Christ keeps His eyes on us…He does not look away. You take your eyes off your wife to admire another…and you take your eyes off Christ. It is THAT important. If you're a Christian stand firm…be ready because Satan will launch a full scale attack on everything pure and holy…and marriage is the holiest of holy. Take care.
I can speak really quickly about the subject of men looking at women in a non-sexual way, simply appreciating their beauty. It might not have bothered me so much that my husband does this if he had bothered to look at me in the same way. I wish I had the reassurance that he found me as attractive as he finds other women. He talks about other women's bodies, what he's noticed about them. He used to make sexual comments, no longer does, but even hearing an innocent observation makes something clench inside. I've never heard him make those kinds of observations about me. Never talked about the color of my eyes or my hair or if I carry myself well. Never called me hot. He even told me that the first time he saw me (when a mutual friend pointed me out), he said, "Meh." He'll notice when my best friend visits and puts on her makeup; he never makes comments about my femininity. I don't think this is limited to women – every PERSON wants to feel cherished by the person they're with, both inside and out. Everyone wants to know that their beloved finds them special. I make it a point to tell my husband how attractive he is to me, how he turns me on. How he has the most amazing green eyes I have ever seen, how well he dresses, how handsome he looks each day. As a result, he feels very secure with me. Unfortunately, in our case, my husband crossed more boundaries than just staring. It's hard to see I'm beautiful to him now when he spent so much energy on other girls. The only way to stop hurting over it was to let go and accept that he would act how he chose with other women, and to relinquish my expectation of him to bolster my self-esteem. I am beautiful for myself now. Which is too bad. It's necessary to be strong enough to love and be beautiful for yourself, but it feels extra special when you're doing it for your beloved. I'm sure there are many people who notice beauty respectfully, without dwelling on it, without fantasizing, certainly without comparing it to who they already are with. The ones who simply notice it, perhaps smile a little, and move on. Unfortunately, that wasn't who I married. He diminished our intimacy by bringing in his preferences with other women. I'm sure he wouldn't have liked it if I had done the same with other men; he told me that even speaking politely to another man was leading him on. So I didn't speak to men at all for a long while, until he told me it was OK. But guess how many boundaries he had crossed before then? It is all about boundaries.
Laurel- You hit it on the head when you said
"But looking at our comments in here as representation of what ALL women are like – I'm sorry, but it's not true. Sorry – I've never been a fan of gender generalizations. It tends to silence the people who don't fit the mold."
You are right. Not all women think all men are pigs. The comments here do not hold the views of all women. Both men and women fail with self-discipline. Like I said, if my wife gave me the opportunity to have sex with another woman I would still refuse because its my heart mind and soul that rules my body.
Angela-Christ said to look at a woman as to have lust after her commits adultery already in his heart. He did not say to look at a beautiful woman or even stare at a beautiful woman. Lusting which is derived from the Ten Commandments "thou shall not covet they neighbors wife" that isn't anything new Christ just reminded everyone of the law they fail but don't regard. You are adding laurel. Men often look at women just because they are beautiful with no sexual attachment included. However I am sure that women would still have a problem with that. So no-go there.
you also said
"but please do not try to convince people (Sandy or anyone) that men cannot help it.it causes more damage than good"-angela
I did not say men cannot help it. as I recall I said and I quote
"Men need to be aware of this concept to better manage it. They need to tell themselves that it's just an innate impulse that can be overcome with practice. It will always be there, but if the impulse to look is not built up by feeding it all the time it will be more manageable."
I believe I said I only said there is more temptation in our world because the media targets men's desire. By this argument alone you must agree. when people say sex sells, its the male audience they entice. women's fashion is aimed at sexualizing themselves more than men's clothing does. so case and point men are asked to dodge more balls than women.
second I don't speak for all men but I am speaking from every man I have ever met who has had a conversation without having to censor it in the presence of a woman. Just like women have inside perspective among women.
Look everyone I'm sorry if I offened everyone with my statements. I know this is a sensitive topic and I get too lengthy. So I will just say this
1. Men CAN overcome lusting after other women by abstaining from feeding sexual impulses.
2. Lusting after women is adultery of the heart.
3. your husbands love you and only want you and if they have a problem looking remind them Christ can fix anything.
But that's just it, Chris weir. I don't think we're saying that only women have the self-control. Men have to cheat with someone, do they not? No, there are many women and men both who lack self-control. There are many women and men both who want to experience a wide range of sexual partners, who think of others sexually (a certain female family member of mine happens to fall there). We're not as different as you believe. At the same time, there are MANY, and I mean many, men and women both who have excellent self-control. I have met people of both genders who intentionally do not let their gazes linger. I can see it when they notice, but they have the presence of mind to discard it quickly. My dad happened to be one of those guys. He had eyes only for the woman he was with, and that's just how he was, regardless of the woman (my mother cheated, which broke them up, and a few years later he got engaged, though it didn't work out). Anyway – of course women have strong sexual desires, just like men. Wanna know the real difference? It's that men are *not* called sluts for having sexual desires, and women are. The reason why you're seeing our comments here that it hurts is because we're part of the group who doesn't want to hurt our guys by ogling other men and expect the same courtesy. There are many women out there who do not have the same boundary, and that's fine, it works for them. But looking at our comments in here as representation of what ALL women are like – I'm sorry, but it's not true. Sorry – I've never been a fan of gender generalizations. It tends to silence the people who don't fit the mold.
Sandy and Chris…I am sorry to insert myself into your conversation yet again…but I just want to tell Sandy…Chris isn't EVERY man. Sorry Chris but you speaking for every man is just a way of justifying your own feelings and trying to not feel alone. While I will say that especially this day in age you are correct to say the majority…I firmly believe that it's ONLY because of social conditioning and in my opinion you are only working to continue that trend by using this thought and theory of why men do as they do. God DOES NOT give us anything that is too hard to handle. If it's your own personal struggle then so be it, we all have our own cross to carry…maybe that's yours. But Chris I will tell you that you will need to get control over it if you plan to enter the kingdom…just as we all have to gain contol over whatever our burdons and weaknesses are. God says to look is adultry and no adulterers will be permitted into the kingdom and he doesn't mince words on it. Try beginning to see females as humans, sisters in Christ…family members…train your mind to do this and hopefully over time it will not be so hard…but please do not try to convince people (Sandy or anyone) that men cannot help it..it causes more damage than good…because there are alot of impulses people have …both male and female..at what point do we draw the line and gain control over ourselves? Do we all just throw caution to the wind? It seems that is the trend these days and so to our own destruction.
Sandy, I keep trying to explain that I'm not excusing men to act like animals. It is NOT the correct path. I am not justifying crude vulgar behavior; I am only trying to explain why men struggle more than women honestly without hiding anything. Women and men though sexually on opposite sides of the sexual spectrum, are all still human.
Men don't want to have sex with everyone, "their bodies do" Men don't want to feel this constant hinderance of sexual awareness of every woman who walks by they just do. They supress it and act by their higher reasoning. Its not love its just a natural impulse. I don't like sports, media can not make me desire sports or something I don't desire. media doesn't make me like sex, I always liked it because its built in me.
Men desire love, family and structure too but tend to be less successful at it than women because they are at war between the spiritual Godly way of life and their base biological impulse constantly incited by a sinful society.
If I made the statement that male mammal primates desire to mate with as many females as possible to ensure their genetic code, no one complains but when I remind people that men ARE male mammals/primates and so they too also have this same sexual design, women freak out like I'm trying to justify infidelity lol.
I'm not
I'm only saying that we are what we are as far as the physical building blocks are concerned but we have a failsafe override called the soul and reasoning. This elevates us beyond mere animals but it doesn't mean the primal sexual instinct is gone. It's still there, and will always be there so long as we used these bodies but we just have to fight it back more than women do because men have over sexualized everything in our world to cater to male desire.
Women fight back too but in a different way. Women fight back the urge to trade up their alpha male for a better alpha (whatever alpha represents in todays world maybe wealth? Power?fame? Charisma? Humor?) Men can have the greatest woman but still be drawn to lesser genetic mates because "Quality is not the main object in male attraction as it is in women, but rather quantity" that's why women are always confused when their guy cheats with less attractive woman.
Men need to be aware of this concept to better manage it. They need to tell themselves that it's just an inate impulse that can be overcome with practice. It will always be there, but if the impulse to look is not built up by feeding it all the time it will be more manageable.
Women don't understand why we are different than them in this regard. They just want to pass blame and lynch men for wanting to look at female shapes raising flags in our brains.
I argue that its not just socially conditioned because male/ primates act this way.
I remember as a child I was always dreaming about one day having my very own wife, treating her like a princess and to this day, my wife is the only woman I ever had sex with. I waited 30 years before having sex because Sex to me means something sacred. I would rather die than have sex with another woman, but I would be lying if I told you I didn't find myself attracted to the visual presentation of other women. Not because I want to have sex with them because I do not in the slightest
But rather I recognize This insane impulse to appraise any object with the female form, whether it be a cartoon silhouette billboard or a lifeless mannequin. I don't wish sex with mannequins or cardboard, its just this infernal radar that needs to be constantly suppressed in order to accommodate the one's we love.
women love to argue that men and women are the same sexually with the same temptation, the same drive and cravings but only women have the discipline to control themselves and men don't; this is simply not true. Males are different than females. when women start getting arrested for sneaking cameras in male bathrooms, tanning rooms and all the crazy places you hear about then maybe I'll rethink my position.
Chris, it is very discouraging to women when you say men want sex with as many females as possible. I know that men can separate having sex with anyone and making love to someone they care about. But what value do women have as a wife if men are always lusting after others. Are we married to you just to provide children and care for the family or do we have value as a partner, lover, nourisher and companion? . I know that after being married for awhile, things can become a little unexciting in the bedroom, that is true for women as well as men, but what is lacking may be made up by being with someone you love. Surely the pleasure of a loving relationship can make up for the excitement of someone new. Is it more about the thrill of the hunt and escaping the sameness of our lives or is the desire for other women so overpowering that it is hard to control?
Hmmm, too often this subject becomes a gender "blame- fault" thing rather than sharing mutual understanding of perspectives.
It seemed logical to believe since men and women are built different sexually that some of that aspect may play a part in sexuality with most animal males appearing more aggressive sexually. That's a good point because our Society plays no role in the behavior of animals. There are of course always exceptions but if we are an exception why so much trouble with this subject that we are debating in our species throughout time even Before media?
Multiple wives?
Is it society only? hmm
I guess I'm arguing that I must stand with God because Christ is right, love, truth and the way; So I feel it is wrong to desire other women beyond your spouse. But I don't believe women are entitled to bragging rights by any means.
although God desires us men to abide in his image as oppose to animal behavior, I think men's battle against sin is different than women's', because the nature of most male designs are to be attracted to multiples as oppose to investment in one. And that the media is not the cause of this but rather a reflection of this since it facilitates whatever is desired of it to be used for.
Media is not evil; men are evil and use media for this purpose. Men are evil because they would rather indulge their animal instincts as oppose to God's will.
Yes Men are killing people, more than women are. What I am talking about is the majority not the exceptions. Men cause wars, strip clubs, brothels etc.
other than God used as a deterrent, this is what men truly desire.
If women held the power, what would the world be like? If you say it would be different, than you must agree with me that we are in fact different, because we are made different. If women would have the same sexual media that is produced today but reversed than yes, we could say men and women are sexually the same in every respect but men fail while women magically are saints and devout.
I do believe media enhances in men what is already there to begin with. It takes the basic male impulse and puts it on steroids because men control the media and that is the truth behind what men truly desire.
Men are sowers and women are growers design wise. The object of the sower is to plant as much seed in as much field as possible. Growers desire the best stock.
Men perform sin differently, sex trafficking, masturbating several times a day, staring at more women problem. Is it a coincidence that mainly men do this? Or that society made us this way?
Society consists of you and me. If you don't wear makeup and form fitting or revealing attire you are doing your part and If I do not stare or lust after someone other than my wife or buy sexual stimuli than I am doing my part.
God's desire is that we love him with all our heart mind and soul despite our base animal impulse, because we possess more than the ability to succumb to our bodies biological chemical functions.
As I have stated before, "chicken or the egg?"
Who's to blame more the drug dealer (women) or the drug addict (men)?
Society promotes lust by using willing women to entice men. It's still a man's world so Men hold the power to use women as a resource for sin and do so because they succumb to their base desires.
Most Men's base secret fantasy desire tends to be lining up rows of naked women to mount one after another. Which seems to me to be an male animal concept vs female animal concept. If the roles of men and women were reversed and women had the power to use men as a resource…. maybe women would desire the same maybe not.
The point being is, that it doesn't matter if women are agreeing to indulge men's fantasy or that its a man's fantasy to desire multiple women. we both agree that it is not God's desire for more than one man to be with one woman for life.
Am I arguing most men's libidos are greater than a women's? no, just different?
We know most men desire many different women, which is not a question of how much sex one desires but rather with who. Husbands may not desire sex with their wife's all the time, but if every time sex was offered it was offered with a different woman, that "not to night honey" response might change to an enthusiastic "yes".
Is it just societies corruption of sex exploitation that creates this and not biological factors making men perverts? Guess we will never know. But what is important is to understand that God is the pursuit because in the end only they that stand with him will win.
Agree to disagree?
Agrees with Sandy…you what amazes me? The amount of women willing to participate in porn. You mention how many porn sites are on the internet…and then there is each videa…not to mention movies to rent etc…crazy. It's shocking how easy it is for people. Strippers? People say they strip to pay for college. BUt that reputation then follows you for life and there are many other jobs to pay your way through college. It's sad how we have truly enslaved ourselves to men as sex object to 'get ahead' …we are literally sex slaves of sorts to them…and we parade it around as sexual liberation. It's truly quite the opposite.
It is amazing to think how much our culture has changed since the sixties. The feminists claimed we could have it all; career, marriage,and children if we wanted to, and still be independent and sexually active. They said that it wasn't important how we looked or dressed as long as we were true to ourselves.. Gradually women decided that they wanted the freedom to hop in and out of bed with whomever they wanted to, without the benefit of marriage, just like men had. As time goes on we see that families are now in jeapody because of how liberal we have become when it comes to sex. There are more than 4 million porn sites on the Internet. Lawyers say that porn is named as one of the reasons for divorce in over fifty percent of cases. Women are being hurt because men think it is okay to look at porn or look at other women in a lustful way. Women are finding out that they don't want to jump in and out of bed and would rather have a loving, lasting relationship with their special guy. They would like a family and all the blessings that it brings. But what about men? Do they want the same things as women or would they prefer having lots of women. Can a man be true in his heart to his wife or will he always be looking for what he might be missing. As a good and decent society we must stop the sexualization of young girls, get adults and young boys to stop using porn, turn to.our religion for grace and clean up our act.
[Editor's note: This comment has been removed. In reading both this comment and the one that it was a response to this feels like an argument and not a conversation, and not one that either of you is likely to be able to resolve here. The time has come to agree to disagree.]
[Editor's note: I can appreciate the passion that went into this very lengthy comment but comments that are longer than the original article tend to stall the conversation rather than move it forward.]
pps…I apologize for all my spelling errors…I am typing fast an then posting before proof reading…I am sure everyone can at least understand what I am saying though. :-)
p.s. I'd like to see a man who gets his kids off the TV and video games…and I mean 90 of the time. Takes them out to turn a wrench, fish, hunt, go for a hike or toss a ball. Everyday, instead of coming home from work and putting his feet up…spend time with his family…not thinking of it as a chore but honestly lesrning to enjoy his time with them…fathers need to have the sex talk with their boys…but not the 'traditional' one. They need to teach their sons about respect and looking for girls of quality and decency and teach them about how masturbating to some image of a half naked girl is wrong because it cheapens the mind and our idea of women. They need to hug and kiss their wives infront of their kids and hold her hand and have them see their dad NOT oogling women in public or on TV. You want to claim that boys are just this way naturally? I dare you…train your boys up differently and you will see, it is indeed JUST SOCIAL CONDITIONING!!! It is NOT biological. I assure you that if MORE MEN did this that you would see a differece in the future in our society. Less girls acting like whores and less boys treating them like it. Moms…you are also just as responsible. You think hey for a mom of 3 my body is still looking good…I just lost some weight, toned up…I am going out to get that bikini so I can look hot on the beach. For who? Can you not feel beautiful in a one peice? Do you realize your daughters are watching you strut yourself for everyone on the beach …not just your husband. Are you caking on the makeup? Dressing up to walk out the door to go to the store? You have to gracery shop in heels eh? Who are you doing it for mom? Hubby is at work. Lets start looking at ourselves shall we…because guess what? Our kids are looking…
HaHa I love this conversation!!! I have basically said all I need to say but I will second Laura…SOCIAL CONDITIONING!!! It's NOTHING at all to do with biological needs or caveman mentality to carry on the species. That's all big pile of bologna. Sorry. There have indeed been 'some' studies by left firld 'scientists' who have come up with a 'theory' to support mens out of control oversexualization. It's just another weak attempt to justify the behavior that they don't want to control. Now don't get me wrong…we are not blind. Men or women. I myself notice all people beautiful or not. If there is something that catches a persons eye because it is special or different or extraordinarly ugly or beautiful of course anyone will notice it. I have noticed when a very handsome man walks past me. I have noticed when a georgeous woman walks past me. I have also noticed when a very obese person walks past or someone in a wheelchair. There is no judgement, it's just that the difference in those people compared to average people stands out. However, it crosses lines when you look at someone with lust. Noticing a person and staring at a person are quite different. If you are looking long enough to take a mental picture and store it for a fantasy later…you are cheating my friend. God does NOT give us impossible tasks. It's society that is ran by satan that corrupts the mind and teaches us that 'if it feels good, it can't be bad'. This society teaches more about self love than lover thy neighbor. We are being brought up in a 'me me me' society. Women walking aoround in tight pants, low cut shirts, bikinis, short shorts…strip bars, movies with ANY sex in it…it's everywhere and in our faces so much that it's no longer 'shocking'. I don't even notice the faces of females anymore, it's just a barrage of naked bodies. It's awful. It's cheated us…men think it's great but they themselves don't realize how it's actually cheating themselves too, not just the women. It takes the excitement of a true connection with a woman and seeing and feeling her body…it takes so much of it away. It cheapens it. It cheapens marriage. Men are no longer capable the way they used to be of the deepness they could have and used to have with a woman. You cannot deny it. How many marriages last these days? A woman these days does not feel that she can keep her man satisfied. I think it's why so many of us do cheapen ourselves, compete or accept mens behavior and say…boys will be boys. We see what's out there, women all over the place trying to catch our men. How can we fight that? Men don't see it for what it is. It's evil and it's destroying our society. It's effecting our children too. Read the news lately? How many young ladies lives have been destroyed because very young boys decided it was ok to rape them while they were passed out drunk? Does anyone here even pay attention to what the kids are seeing on TV day in and day out, even on their own channels such as nick and cartoon network? It's all about boys and girls dating, kissing etc…the girls in the show are dressed in heels and short skirts…every commerical on secular TV has some barely dressed girl, every TV show..every movie….then add the barrage of violence they see everywhere…and viola! You have kids that are being brainwashed daily to do exactly what they have been doing…having sex, raping and turning into monsters. And people scratch their heads and say, 'whats happening to our youth"…well crap…have you seen their VIDEO GAMES too?? My God people wake up! Men, you need to pull your heads out of your butts. Sorry, I don't mean to be so brash but you are failing as husbands and fathers horribly. Believe it or not guys, we NEED YOU! This world needs it's MEN back. It may be a hard habit to break. You may have a strong sexual desire…but you gotta start seeing things for what they are. This country especially is VERY comparible to Sodom and Gomorrah. God destroyed it. It was sexually out of control and violent. When you see that 'hot' girl walking past you dressed in her short skirt and tight shirt…hair extentions and batting her eyes at you…you gotta start realizing that Satan (believe it or not) is using her as a weapon against your soul. She is a prong…the TV is a weapon, the compuer is a weapon…it's satan…using everything he can to tap into mans weaknesses…money and sex…to cause you to sin…create a great distraction so you will not keep your eyes focused on God. Here are some key points on the bible before I go that I'd like to share with everyone. I am not claiming to be an expert however, I have read the entire bible honestly…at least 3 times. I have also studied it's antient meanings in hebrew in order to understand the original text and meaning…so from that I will share: As most of you know the bible says, looking at another woman (it speciifies woman so this is aimed at the men) with lust is adultry. What you think is what you do. Revelation states, no adulterer will be allowed in heaven. Why is this so important? Because Marriage is a picture of Gods relationship with His church. We are Gods bride. The bible states that a man should love his wife the same way that He loves His church. Perfectly. To cheat on your wife even mentally, cheapens the picture of God and His bride. Once you are married you become ONE FLESH. Anything you do to harm your wife or husband then harms yourself. Which is seen by the fact that when your wife is upset…it effects you too does it not? She grows angrier, less loving…not so sexual. You hurt yourself by hurting her. Now sure you can get a divorce and move on to the next but the same patterns will emerge and you will never find full satisfaction with one woman until you learn to love her like God loves His church. The love then comes back to you. Divorce also (except in matters of adultry) is a sin and is in itself commiting adultry. So, this means if you look at other women lustfully and God says it's adultry, your wife DOES have the rights to divorce you and she will be innocent. Like it or not. People don't want to believe this but it is biblical. If she divorced you however and you did nothing wrong…no adultry…then she would be committing adultry. Another truth that people HATE but it's true…as long as a woman is faithful and stays true to God she is saved automatically through childbirth. Men on the other hand have to work for their salvation. Oh, I know you hate that. I know it chaps your bum. But I speak the truth. Why might this be? Well first of all childbirth is a huge sacrafice from a woman. The toll it takes on us to bring forth life is beyond anything any man could ever try to understand. The pregnancy, the birth and thereafter…your body is literally a living sacrafice for life. Also men are weaker when it comes to temptation…this is obvious in this world because you can see how the majority of advertaizments are aimed at MEN. Finally I'd like to throw a spin on something in the book of David that I read. It describes a beast. It's evil in of itself and then suddenly another beast comes and it is from the first beast, it 'agrees' with the first beast and humans give it the power of life and it goes off into destruction and kills (souls). From the first moment I read that…I saw TV and internet in my head. There is no greater two forces on earth that work day in and day out to decieve Gods people. Is it a theory? Yes. But nevertheless, TV and internet are destroying us. They are destroying our youth also. They agree with each other and we gave them the power to come to 'life'. Sure they can be used for good. Like this site. But many if I dare say most people and especially men…use it for movies they ought not be watching and internet pornography and also to 'chat' with other women or yes..wives are chatting with other men too..it's made it all too easy to cheat. So there is some food for thought. Self control…Ill tell you what…for me there is nothing sexier in a man…then a mentally, emotionally and spiritually in control man. Forget the washboard abs and give me a man of accountablity!! Fathers and Husbands if you are reading this…if you haven't already…buy and read the book Courageous. Buy the movie also. Wives…buy it for your husband and lovingly express to him what you need and what your children need. Men when those temptatieous women walk past you and you notice, get yourselves in the habit of looking the other way. If they didn't get the attention they are seeking they might actually wake up and stop acting that way…and ladies…if you are guilty of being the temptress….look at yourself honestly…what you do to others will be done to you.
I totally agree with every word! My fiance used to look at other women all the time when we where out and i will be honest it hurt me and did effect my self esteem. And what I agree with the most is its not a question of needing its a question of respect and equality within a relationship xx And i believe men could feel the deep betrayal we do. They just choose not to. Because if we go against something our man says he feels then. But if we feel betrayed it doesn't exist to men.
With all due respect, Chris weir, I believe women's sexual desire is different than how you have said. There are many women with a very high sexual desire, and many women who want sex all the time instead of during a sole monthly time period. The difference is not that great in sexual desire between men and women; the huge difference is in how it is encouraged. Men are encouraged to be sexual. Women are encouraged to be demure. You are right that the ads target men's sexual desire; why not women? Because before the ads, the women have been socially conditioned and commanded to hide their desires in the name of chastity. Men have born no such restrictions socially. If men had sex with multiple women, the population would be huge because there would be multiple women pregnant by the same man. If a woman had sex with multiple men, the population would not be nearly as huge, though a woman might not know who the father is. And that is the root of the insecurity and the repression of women's sexuality. In earlier times, a family had to know who was the father of the child in order to determine inheritance since men were the landholders. So women were harshly punished for having sex in a way society would deem "improper". They were called a harsh word; there is no male equivalent for the word "slut" in the derision with which it is said when referring to a woman. But as a woman, I know that women have great sexual desire because if we did not, then why are so many of us capable of multiple orgasms? In my marriage, mine is greater than my husband's and has always been, including while I was pregnant. But he was content to reject me and play single with the other ladies. It hurt like you wouldn't believe. Do you say that women will never understand what it feels like to feel constant sexual desire? I disagree with you – but if you find that to be true, do you also find it true that men will never understand the deep betrayal women feel when they see their partners not-so-subtly check out, and eventually talk to, and in many cases cheat on them with other women?
The question is not the difference between women and men in "needing" to check out members of the gender that attracts us. The question is the matter of respect and equality within a relationship. Would you be willing to stop doing something that hurts your partner and her self-esteem? Or would it be an explicit agreement that if he can look, so can she? It's not fair to choose a partner knowing a behavior hurts her or him and then continuing it anyway. Look for someone who is OK with it – there are plenty of women out there who don't mind and who in fact do the same thing themselves.


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Originally Posted by ATS20T Gee, I'm just glad I didn't write about the Ultimate Girls Fail Complilation 2012 I saw after watching the Russian plane crash video. That would have really got people annoyed. Yeah, that was good too!
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Oil Pump Pickup screen collapsed SBC GEN1
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Originally Posted by
The original engine is meek at best.If its in a race car,then freshen it according to use required
That's what I was afraid of. After checking the block casting I'm pretty sure its the L48. Engines purchase was mainly to put something in the car to get me going. I have owned it for 2 years and its just been sitting. Cars pretty hard to push around the shop with a spool in the rear LOL.
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a 79 corvette engine is a pretty damn "mild" engine, I'd just replace the pickup, though since the pan is off check your bearings. Also pop the oil pump open and check for any wear of the housing or gears.
The engine has been rebuilt. There are scribe marks and numbers stamped in the rods. Pistons look brand new on the bottoms. Rod bolts are some no names (slightly worrisome) I am going to pull the pump off to remove the old pick up. Its tack welded in place. Once I get the pump on I will do a compression check. ( I have this feeling that it would be better to spin the engine over with oil in the pan, rather than dry I can also prime it.) What are the torque specs for the mains and rods? Thanks a bunch. Thanks for all the reply's. This is a BS motor for the time being. I do plan to rebuild or swap it out before I get serious racing it. I plan to let my younger brother get some track time in it before I drop in a powerful engine. FWIW, I have a plate system laying around. Whats a good shot of n2o on this engine? Thanks again!!
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McLaren says can challenge Ferrari
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McLaren signalled it could challenge Ferrari for Australian Formula One Grand Prix supremacy, with its cars grabbing three of the quickest five times in today's second practice session at Albert Park.
McLaren's third driver Pedro de la Rosa recorded the fastest time of the session - a 1 minute 25.376 second lap.
He just edged out teammate Kimi Raikkonen (1:25.676), with fellow McLaren driver Juan Pablo Montoya fifth fastest.
Williams driver Nick Heidfeld was third fastest, nearly one and a half seconds quicker than Australian teammate Mark Webber, who finished the session 15th after complaining of handling problems.
Seven-time world champion Michael Schumacher had the fourth fastest time of the session, with Ferrari teammate Rubens Barrichello ninth.
Minardi, owned by Australian Paul Stoddart, was prevented from taking part in both today's practice sessions because it could not gain unanimous support from rival teams to use last year's car.
Stoddart is now seeking a Victorian Supreme Court injunction to allow his team to compete in Melbourne.
Two more practice sessions will be held tomorrow ahead of the opening qualifying session.
A second qualifying session is scheduled for Sunday ahead of the 58-lap race - the opening Grand Prix of the season.
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After one hour, six minutes and 48 seconds heels start to hurt, a survey found.
But for a delicate 20 per cent, dancing shoes start to pinch after just ten minutes.
More than a third of respondents said their feet had been so sore on a night out that they danced shoeless and walked home bare foot.
The statistics come from the College of Podiatry, which surveyed 2000 British men and women and 60 podiatrists and chiropodists.
Women were found to be three times more likely to cram their feet into uncomfortable shoes.
As a result, nine in ten women have suffered problems from bunions and corns to sprains and strains.
And pain is not the only problem, with many so embarrassed about the state and shape of their feet that they cover them up whatever the weather.
The average woman surveyed said she had 17 pairs of shoes to choose from - twice as many as the typical male.
Despite this, women were three times as likely as men to squeeze their feet into ill-fitting shoes simply because they looked nice.
Blisters were the most common female foot problem, followed by cracked heels, verrucas, corns and in-grown toenails.
The College of Podiatry warned that prolonged high heel wearing can trigger more serious problems including arthritis, stress fractures and trapped nerves.
Mike O'Neill, a consultant podiatrist at the College, said: "There is absolutely no doubt that women who wear high heels are putting themselves at risk of permanent injury in the name of fashion."
Lorraine Jones, a podiatrist based in west London, said: "It is the people who wear high heels all day, every day who tend to have the problems."


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will find a discrepancy in the application. One reason for smart tests is software testing economics. The more effective the tests are at finding defects the bigger the return on investment.
This is much the same as the return on investment of smart bombs compared to those used in carpet bombing runs. The smart bombs cost more up front, but hit more targets while ordinary dumb bombs are cheaper, but many more are required to achieve the same end result. Designing intelligent tests cost more up front than just jumping in and creating automated test scripts, but the true cost of quality is seen after the system is released. The fewer the number of defects that survive in production software, the higher the quality and the lower the maintenance costs are.
The moral of this dissertation, if there is one, is that even in bad economic times QA managers must understand that there are no short cuts to test automation and that not acquiring the talent needed to do test planning and test design, is risking much higher costs after the software is released to the customers.
Consequently, I have started working with a friend who has a construction company as a stonemason until the current economic recession reverses itself. I find that doing something in the brick and mortar trade is refreshing and a lot less stressful than jumping into a doomed testing endeavor in an IT department where management obviously does not understand the testing process and does not have any intent to support an attempt to correctly and effectively implement an automated testing framework.
I will return to consulting when an appropriate opportunity reveals itself. Until then I will work at my new skill and when the situation again arises where I cannot tolerate the lack of management competence when it comes to understanding that a testing process must be in place, must be followed, and must be supported by talented and skilled individuals for test automation to be successful, I will fall back on my trade to carry be through.
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Welcome to the Quilting Board!
I love it. You did a great job. The faux piping is a fabulous touch.
Alcyone group: http://www.quiltingboard.com/members...bums18449.html
Electra group: http://www.quiltingboard.com/members...bums18446.html
My how gorgeous that looks.
God Bless you all.
Awesome job!
Wayne & Gabriele, the married quilters.
Beautiful quilt & nice colors. I love it!!!
This quilt reminds me of the vintage quilts. It's stunning. Fresh and crisp and vintage looking all at the same time. I'm swooning over your Swoon.
OMG What a beautiful quilt! I love it!!


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Led Zeppelin: In Through the Out Door Platinum Guitar TAB Songbook Released by Alfred Music Publishing
Los Angeles, CA — October 2011 - Alfred Music Publishing, in association with Led Zeppelin, is proud to release the Platinum Album Edition of Led Zeppelin: In Through the Out Door Platinum Guitar, with all-new transcriptions featuring unprecedented accuracy and insight into the guitar style of Jimmy Page.
Led Zeppelin: In Through the Out Door Platinum Guitar is an exceptional TAB resource for guitarists, and a unique collectible for Zeppelin and classic rock fans. The songbook includes complete TAB, accurate guitar chord grids, lyrics, and standard music notation to favorites such as "Fool in the Rain," "Hot Dog," "All My Love," and many more.
Special features include vintage Zeppelin photographs and a historical foreword by Guitar World magazine's Editor-in-Chief, Brad Tolinski. A helpful Guitar TAB Glossary is also included, along with a detailed guitar performance instruction section covering topics such as note bending, articulations, and tremolo bar to help recreate the various guitar characteristics of each song. The Led Zeppelin Platinum Guitar series is drawn from more than 30 years of documentation, interviews, and recorded footage.
Formed in 1968, Led Zeppelin is an English rock band known for their definitive sound—one of the first to blend the blues, folk, and rock genres. In Through the Out Door is the band's eighth studio album, which peaked at No.1 on The Billboard 200 in 1979. A testament to the band's enduring and highly influential role in music, Led Zeppelin was awarded the Grammy® Lifetime Achievement Award (2005).
As part of Alfred's ongoing commitment to improving the environment, this songbook is printed on recycled paper.
Led Zeppelin: In Through the Out Door Platinum Guitar songbook (00-37220) is now available for $21.99 at music retail stores and at alfred.com/ledzeppelin.
Titles: In the Evening * South Bound Saurez * Fool in the Rain * Hot Dog * Carouselambra * All My Love * I'm Gonna Crawl.
Alfred Music Publishing is the world's largest educational music publisher. Alfred produces educational, reference, pop, and performance materials for teachers, students, professionals, and hobbyists spanning every musical instrument, style, and difficulty level. Alfred's home office is located in Los Angeles, with domestic offices in Miami and New York as well as offices around the world including Australia, Germany, Singapore, and the United Kingdom.
Since 1922, Alfred Music Publishing has been dedicated to helping people learn, teach, and play music. Alfred currently has over 90,000 active titles. Alfred represents a wide range of well-known publications—from methods like Alfred's Basic Guitar, Alfred's Basic Piano Library, Premier Piano Course, Sound Innovations, and Suzuki, to artists like Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Van Halen, Green Day, Michael Jackson, Sheryl Crow, Eagles, Cole Porter, and George and Ira Gershwin, to brands like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Rolling Stone Magazine, and Billboard.
In addition to its own titles, Alfred distributes products from over 50 companies, including Belwin, Daisy Rock Girl Guitars, Dover Publications, DW Drums, Faber Music, Highland/Etling, Kalmus, National Guitar Workshop, Penguin, TASCAM, Ultimate Support, and WEA.


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Surface-enhanced raman scattering : physics and applications
- Responsibility
- Katrin Kneipp, Martin Moskovits, Harald Kneipp (eds.).
- Language
- English.
- Imprint
- Berlin ; New York : Springer, c2006.
- Physical description
- xvii, 464 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.
- Series
- Topics in applied physics v. 103.
Available online
- stanford.idm.oclc.org
- www.myilibrary.com MyiLibrary
- stanford.idm.oclc.org SpringerLink
- site.ebrary.com ebrary
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- Bibliography
- Includes bibliographic references and index.
- Contents
- The Basic Physics Behind SERS.- The Electromagnetic Theory of SERS.- SERS Active Nanostructures.- Coupled Plasmonic-Photonic Effects, the Electronic Mechanisms in SERS.- SERS from Transition Metals.- Modern Experimental Aspects of SERS: Single Molecule Raman Spectroscopy.- Statistics of Temporal Fluctuations in Single Molecule SERS.- Vibrational Pumping and Anti-Stokes SERS.- Surface Enhanced Hyper-Raman Sscattering.- Tip-Enhanced Raman Spectroscopy (TERS).- Surface Enhanced Resonance Raman Scattering (SERRS) and Fluorescence.- Applications of SERS: SERRS of Green Fluorescence Protein.- Surface-Enhanced Vibrational Spectroelectrochemistry.- SERS Nanosensor for a Chemical Probe in Living Cells.- Adaptive Plasmonic Nanostructures for Biomolecular Sensing.- SERS - Glucose Sensing.- SERRS for Quantitative Analysis.- SERS for Rapid Analysis in Microbiological Systems.- SERS for Biomedical Diagnostics.- Ultrasensitive Immunoassays Using SERS.- SERS for Detecting Chemical Agents.
- (source: Nielsen Book Data)9783540335665 20160528
- Publisher's Summary
- Almost 30 years after the first reports on surface-enhanced Raman signals, the phenomenon of surface-enhanced Raman scattering (SERS) is now well established. Yet, explaining the enhancement of a spectroscopic signal by fourteen orders of magnitude continues to attract the attention of physicists and chemists alike. And, at the same time and rapidly growing, SERS is becoming a very useful spectroscopic tool with exciting applications in many fields. SERS gained particular interest after single-molecule Raman spectroscopy had been demonstrated. This book summarizes and discusses present theoretical approaches that explain the phenomenon of SERS and reports on new and exciting experiments and applications of the fascinating spectroscopic effect.
(source: Nielsen Book Data)9783540335665 20160528
Bibliographic information
- Publication date
- 2006
- Series
- Topics in applied physics. v. 103
- Note
- Also available on the World Wide Web.
- 3540335668
- 9783540335665 (alk. paper)
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$ 2.50
Dip mix with Sweet and hot flavor
Mix with 1 1/4 C sour cream to make a delicious dip for chips or vegetables.
$ 27.99
Fika is a swedish word and stands for coffee that's usually accompanied with cookies and or other baked goods.
This sampler box has Löfbergs Lila, 3 different kinds of cookies: Ballerina, Singoalla Raspberry, Singoalla Lemon, or Anna's gingersnap cookies (depending on what we have in stock), 4 oz Marabou Chocolate Bar and a box Läkerol sugar free chews.
Box measures 9x9x4
$ 5.99
Almond paste consists of ground almonds and sugar. Our almond paste has 66% almonds and 34% sugar. Made from California grown almonds! Great for baking pastries and sweet coffee bread. No almond extract, just like the European formula, but higher almond content. Almond paste typically has 50% almonds and 50% sugar in Europe.
8.04oz (200g)
To make Semlor using almond paste visit our Pinterest Board
For a Swedish Almond and Cardamom Wreath click here.
$ 2.75
Anna's Ginger Thins
Anna's Gingerbread started by two sisters in Stockholm 1929.
Royal Warrent/Kunglig Hovleverantör
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Ground Cardamom
Use for baking or cooking. Great when added to the dough when making cinnamon rolls!
1.75 oz.


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Maxwell Dickson utilizes the highest standards when it comes to the printmaking process. All prints are designed, printed and manufactured in-house at their Downtown Los Angeles facility. All canvas is 100% archival museum quality, and will last more than 200 years withoutfading. All ink is 100% water-based and does not contain any gasses or chemical compounds that are harmful to the environment or to humans.
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Cessna 501 Citation
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WKP-Cessna 501 Citation
Cessna 501 Citation I/SP Barcelona (- El Prat) (BCN / LEBL) Spain, November 27, 2010 EC-INJ (cn 501-0086) (4 April 2012)
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Things to do:
- [DONE] Create boot image that boots into the Ubuntu Touch rootfs.
- [DONE] Create Android container started by Ubuntu.
- [WIP] Customize configurations and work on kernel and android system to make things work properly (e.g. audio).
- [TODO] Setup apparmor security.
- Testing, debugging and optimization...
The information and images below are very out-of-date.
The port of Ubuntu Touch to our beloved TF300T is more or less working now.
Please see section "Known Issues" below.
And please read the instructions carefully, including the linked threads, before doing anything to your tablet that might result in a very expensive paper-weight.
Known Issues
Just listing major issues that are specific to the TF300T port.
This is not the place to discuss general issues with Ubuntu Touch.
- Camera is broken.
- Dock not fully supported.
Please read the section "Installation" below carefully, if you are not sure what these files are.
That section also contains verbose information on the different bootloader versions.
The binaries are generated automatically by Jenkins.
Generally they are not tested and may be broken.
Please report any issues in this thread, so they can be fixed and broken binaries can be removed.
Bootloader 4.2
These are the latest binaries that should be up-to-date with respect to Canonical's binaries.
Well, sometimes allow a day or two...
- Android Base-System
The Android base-system is a stripped-down version of CyanogenMod 10.1 with some additional patches.
This is, where the major effort for porting Ubuntu Touch goes into.
- Ubuntu Touch Root FS
This is the Ubuntu Touch file system.
Flashing this ZIP will preserve network settings and the phablet home directory, if you had installed Ubuntu Touch before.
It should work for all devices, however a stripped-down version with some changes for our TF300T is provided.
Please see the list of changes below.
- Media Files
These media files are part of Canonical's root fs, but they rarely (never?) change.
Splitting the media files into a separate image significantly reduces the size of the rootfs that receives regular updates.
Unless you manually remove /data/ubuntu, these files will persist re-flashing the rootfs.
These are out-of-date and are no longer being maintained.
They will be kept, till dev-host deletes them (30 days after the last download):
Android Source Code
The patched repositories of the Android/CyanogenMod/Ubuntu source trees are available on GitHub.
For details, please see section "Building the Android Base-System from Source" below.
Ubuntu Touch Root FS Changes
The "official" Ubuntu Touch root fs does not quite work on our TF300T yet.
So a stripped-down version with the following changes is provided:
- Run amixer on boot to fix mixer levels.
- Disable save/restore of alsa settings.
- Split media files into a separate image.
- Remove several big and unnecessary files.
- Flashing with TWRP fails.
For details, see the bug report on launchpad.
- There is no sound, unless you adjust alsa mixer levels manually.
- Rebooting from Ubuntu goes into a boot-loop.
When Ubuntu is properly shut down, it saves the current alsa settings.
Restoring them on the next boot crashes the system and causes the boot-loop.
Note that rebooting from Android or using adb works fine.
If you happen to run into the boot-loop, use the TWRP file manager (in the Advanced menu) to remove /data/ubuntu/var/lib/alsa/asound.state.
Please read the following instructions carefully, and make sure you understand each step and what it will do to your tablet.
The steps are working for me, but you are ultimately responsible, for what you are doing with your own tablet.
I will not be responsible, if you brick your tablet, or if your wife gets angry at you for being too preoccupied with your tablet.
Step 1: Unlock Your Tablet
If you want to give Ubuntu Touch a try, your tablet needs to be unlocked.
There are lots of threads helping with this, please use search to locate this information.
Step 2a: Which Bootloader Do I Have?
Unfortunately, Asus has released several incompatible bootloaders.
To find out, if you can use this port of Ubuntu Touch, go to the bootloader screen by holding the power and vol-down keys.
Once you see the bootloader screen with three or four icons in the center, check the long version number at the top of the screen.
It looks something like: "WW_epad-10.6.1.15.3-20130416".
The first two letters are your SKU and should not matter.
The version number following "epad" is what will be referred to in the following.
- Version 10.6.1.15.3
This is the latest version from Asus, generally referred to as "bootloader 4.2" in the XDA forums.
The latest Ubuntu Touch binaries are developed and tested on this bootloader, so you should be fine.
- Version 10.6.1.8
This is an older version of the bootloader 4.2.
The latest Ubuntu Touch binaries might work for you, though upgrading your bootloader is recommended (see below).
This version is known to cause issues with the latest TWRP recovery, so be careful.
- Version 10.4.2.20
This is the old incompatible bootloader, generally referred to as "jb bootloader" or "bootloader 4.1" in the XDA forums.
The latest Ubuntu Touch binaries will not work for you, upgrading your bootloader is strongly recommended (see below).
Older binaries that work with this bootloader are still available for download though.
- Any older version not listed
Your bootloader is really out of date and you should upgrade as soon as possible (see below).
- Any newer version not listed
You are on uncharted territory. Proceed with care!
Let us know about your experience in this thread!
If you have not yet installed bootloader 10.6.1.15.3, it is recommended to upgrade.
Please check the following threads (and several others; search might be helpful):
[GUIDE][26/04]Update/Recovery/Root/Downgrade Android 4.2.1 on Unlocked/Locked Devices
[HOW-TO] Upgrade or Downgrade to any stock JB Firmware
Step 3: Install TWRP Recovery
You need a custom recovery installed for flashing the Ubuntu Touch binaries.
Please check the following thread for getting and installing TWRP recovery:
[RECOVERY][TF300T/TG] TWRP 184.108.40.206 Touch Recovery!
Step 4: Backup and Wipe Your Android System
Before flashing Ubuntu Touch, you need to wipe some parts.
It is strongly recommended to make a backup of your Android system too.
Check section "Restore Android" below on how to restore it.
- If you are running CyanogenMod 10.1:
- Use TWRP to backup "boot" and "system".
Backing up "data" is not strictly necessary, but recommended.
- Wipe "cache", "dalvic cache" and "system".
In TWRP 2.5 you should use "Wipe -> Advanced Wipe" and check the respective boxes.
Note that this will not wipe the contents of your "/sdcard" Android folder.
- Use TWRP to backup "boot" and "system".
- If you are not running CyanogenMod 10.1, but another ROM:
- Use TWRP to backup "boot", "system" and "data"
- Wipe "cache", "system" and "data".
In TWRP 2.5 you should use "Wipe -> Advanced Wipe" and check the respective boxes.
Note that this will not wipe the contents of your "/sdcard" Android folder.
If you want a clean start or you had installed Ubuntu Touch for bootloader 4.1, please remove /data/ubuntu manually before flashing.
You can use the TWRP file manager in the Advanced menu for that.
If you want to upgrade from a previous Ubuntu Touch for bootloader 4.2, please see section "Upgrade Ubuntu Touch" below.
Flash the following images (see above for downloads):
Step 6: Reboot Your Tablet
Note that there is no boot animation yet, so the screen will be black, till the shell is starting up.
This make take some time, please be patient!
Restore Android
- Boot into TWRP recovery.
- Wipe "cache" and "dalvic cache".
- Select the last backup done before installing Ubuntu Touch.
- If you were running CyanogenMod 10.1:
Restore "boot" and "system".
- If you were not running CyanogenMod 10.1, but another ROM:
Restore "boot", "system" and "data".
- Reboot your tablet.
Upgrade Ubuntu Touch
Generally, the system and the rootfs can be upgraded individually.
However, sometimes Canonical introduces breaking changes, that require them to be upgraded together.
Upgrade ubuntu-touch-system-XXXXXXXX-tf300t-bl4.2.zip
If you are running an older version of that ZIP, you can just flash the new one.
If you have returned to your Android system, please follow "Backup and Wipe Your Android System" under "Installation" above before flashing the new ZIP.
Upgrade ubuntu-touch-rootfs-raring-XXXXXXXX-tf300t-bl4.2.zip
You can flash this ZIP anytime.
Network settings and the phablet home directory will be preserved. This includes the media files from the separate ZIP:
If you want to start clean, remove /data/ubuntu manually and re-flash both rootfs and media.
Upgrade ubuntu-touch-media-XXXXXXXX.zip
You can flash this ZIP anytime.
It will just overwrite existing files and add new files; old files will not be deleted.
If you want to start clean, remove /data/ubuntu manually and re-flash both rootfs and media.
Building the Android Base-System from Source
Basically you can follow the guide for building CyanogenMod with one exception.
Initialize your CyanogenMod source repository with:
repo init -u git://github.com/f69m/android -b phablet-10.1-tf300t


text:
ED Magedson – Founder
Ripoff Report
Donna Goodman411 E.53rd Street, 9th Floor, NY, NY New York, New York United States of America
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This report was posted on Ripoff Report on 07/18/2012 06:45 PM and is a permanent record located here: http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/donna-goodman/new-york-new-york-11554/donna-goodman-con-artist-uses-threats-as-tactic-beware-takes-peoples-money-new-york-914117. The posting time indicated is Arizona local time. Arizona does not observe daylight savings so the post time may be Mountain or Pacific depending on the time of year.
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Executive Q&A with Sona Chawla, President e-Commerce, Walgreens
Posted by Andrew Stockwell on October 4, 2011
- 706 Recommendations
- 3 comments
I'm thrilled that Sona Chawla will be a keynote speaker at Forrester's Consumer Forum in just over three weeks! As the President of e-Commerce, Sona oversees operations and leads the team responsible for building the sales, service and customer experience of Walgreens.com and drugstore.com (acquired in June 2011). This includes driving store traffic through the Web, growing online profitability, and the development of new product and service offerings via emerging digital touchpoints such as mobile.
Earlier today, Sona provided me with a sneak peek of her upcoming presentation for our forum "110 Years Of Agility: Continuing Our Evolution To Meet Customer Demands" and all I can say is that it's not to be missed! I don't want to reveal too much and spoil it, but Sona will touch on the dynamic forces at play within healthcare and retail that are driving Walgreens' digital transformation, the framework they are utilizing to enable that transformation, and finally what Walgreens sees for the future. And of course throughout the discussion Sona will have key lessons learned and advice for firms across industries going through similar transformations.
I do however want to share with you Sona's responses to some questions we asked her in advance of the event. Her thoughts demonstrate the growing importance (and let's not forget the financial benefits) of serving customers across touchpoints with innovative, digital products and services.
We hope you can make it to Chicago later this month to hear even more from Sona and our other fantastic speakers . . .
Q: How would you describe Walgreen's digital transformation?
It's an evolution leading to a revolution. We've been leveraging digital since 1998, when we first launched walgreens.com. Over the years, we've been quick to pilot and scale digital technologies when we see that they can be relevant to our core businesses and our customers. We don't just launch a digital initiative because it's the cool thing du jour. Rather, we start with our core principles around the customer experience and then ask how digital can help enable that experience. When we see opportunities that make sense, we move swiftly and boldly – whether it's being first to market with innovative mobile features such as "refill by scan" or an acquisition such as drugstore.com that extends the boundaries of our physical store.
With this approach, digital has slowly infused itself into almost every part of our company. It's like watching points of light individually flickering to life and then collectively and gradually lighting up the entire organization.
Q: How is Walgreens adapting to harness the power of emerging touchpoints such as mobile devices and tablets?
These emerging touch points are very exciting to us because we know that they are driving a confluence of the physical and virtual channels. Over the last century, we defined "convenient retail" by having the best and most accessible corners in America -- nearly two-thirds of the U.S. population lives within three miles of a Walgreens store. Now, we are redefining "convenient retail" by connecting these emerging touch points. A great example is what we are doing with our mobile pharmacy. It gives people access to their prescription history in their pocket at all times; users can refill prescriptions on the fly and in the shortest time possible with refill by scan (under 30 seconds); there's no more waiting at the pharmacy counter with text alerts that notify patients when a prescription is ready, and we're also providing timely reminders to patients to refill prescriptions – with notifications sent via text message or email.
Another relevant example is our "health guide" – a concept we're piloting in select stores. This individual is a dedicated, in-store health concierge and a one-stop resource to answer health-related questions from customers. Guides are equipped with an iPad application to tap into pertinent web resources, tools and information.
Q: What new services are you offering to customers to meet their needs across touchpoints? What impact is this having on your key performance metrics?
I've mentioned our mobile pharmacy – pharmacy is a core pillar of our business and the foundation of our vision to become America's first choice in health and daily living. We've also launched a series of other innovations to meet our customers' needs across touch points – online pharmacy chat providing 24x7 access to our pharmacy staff, online order/in store pickup in as little as an hour for retail (Web Pickup) and photo creative goods. By adding more channels, we provide customers more options and drive greater loyalty and stickiness. A customer who leverages multiple touch points with us is three times more valuable than one who just uses a single channel.
Q: How are you and your team working across organizational silos to support the transformation and deliver for your customers?
We work very hard at it. We know that we can't be successful if we don't knit the organization together to deliver a key initiative. We also know that everything does not need to be integrated – so it's all about finding the right balance and prioritizing the projects with the greatest customer impact. To deliver an initiative like Web Pickup, we worked with more than 15 groups across the company. It was an amazing feat and we delivered in record time because everyone was excited to be part of such a groundbreaking project.
We also focus on internal education, socialization and goal alignment. Everyone on my team has to be an evangelist and a "dot connector." Very simply, we put the "Big W" ahead of any individual team's objective or goal – if it's right for the company and our customers, then we'll figure out a way to get it done.
Great post!
Comment from Jess Harrington on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 13:29
I'm really interested in learning more about how Walgreen's track their customers across mutliple touch points and gains insight about the quality of their experience across those channels. Are they evaluating Customer Lifetime Value differently for those who engage in more than one touch point than those who use one channel? It sounds like they're able to get to a very deep level of customer intelligence and segmentation. I'll be at the event so hopefully this is part of the presentation. Thanks for getting me thinking about the content!
I look forward to seeing you in Chicago
Comment from Andrew Stockwell on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 19:57
Thanks Jess for your reply. I hope you'll ask this question of Sona at the event. In the meantime, I can tell you that I've seen research and data points in the market that show that the value of a customer to a company increases based on the number of touchpoints employed by that customer. See you in Chicago!
Magento Developer
Comment from Magento Developer Magento Developer (not verified) on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 05:01
I found this article is really useful for me in my job. Thanks for sharing this useful information. http://www.2jdesign.co.uk/
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There aren't many plants that will light up a shady area of your garden like these! Grown not for flowers, but for their amazingly vibrant, beautifully patterned, heart-shaped leaves. Like dahlias, they're tender perennials, so should be lifted from borders (or pots moved) in autumn, stored in a frost-free place over winter and planted out again in spring. Height 50-60cm (20-24"). Tuber size 1. Candidum - Spectacular, vibrant white leaves with bright green veins.
Caladium originate from Brazil and are fantastic foliage plants. Commonly known as Angel Wings or Elephant Ears, they are a frost tender perennial and if planted outdoors need a rich, well-draining soil and partial shade.
Resistance to Disease:False
Aftercare - Easy:False
Aftercare - Moderate:True
Aftercare - High:False
Cut Flower:False
Edible Flower:False
Good For Dried Flowers:False
Drought Resistant:False
RHS Award of Garden Merit:False
Vegetables recommended by the NIAB:False
Award Winners in Fleuroselect Trials:False
Likes Acidic Soil:False
Hanging Baskets:False
Beds & Borders:True
Greenhouse, Glass House or Home:False
Prefers Full Sun:False
Grows in Sun or Partial Shade:False
Grows in Sun or Shade:False
Partial or Full Shade:True
F1 Variety:False
Hardy Annual:False
Half Hardy Annual:False
Greenhouse Annual:False
Hardy Biennial:False
Greenhouse Biennial:False
Hardy Perennial:False
Tender Perennial:True
Half Hardy Perennial:False
Greenhouse Perennial:False
INDOOR PLANTING - You will need a container at least 15cms deep and big enough for the bulb itself and to allow space for the roots to develop. Fill the container with well-drained multi-purpose compost and vermiculite. Dig a small hole in the compost (5 – 8cms deep) and place the bulb in the hole with the 'nose' facing upwards. If the nose is not clearly visible then lay the bulb on its side, cover with compost and pat down lightly. Place the container in an area that will get good light but not direct sunlight. Water regularly keeping the soil moist at all times but be careful not to overwater. Add liquid fertiliser once a month to keep the foliage colourful. Once the leaves have died back store the caladium in the container ready for the next season at temperatures of 13–16C.
OUTDOOR PLANTING - Once any danger of frost has passed and outdoor temperatures are warm the grown on bulbs can be planted into the soil or patio containers. For better results mix a rich compost with the soil. Choose a sheltered location with partial shade. Dig a hole 5 – 8cms deep and place the bulb in the hole and cover with soil. Water regularly to keep the soil moist but not waterlogged. Caladium grown in pots also should be fed with liquid fertiliser once a month to promote growth. Unless you live in a warm part of the country then dig up the bulbs once the growing season has ended and before the first frosts. Store at 13–16C ready to plant again next year.
Ideal for beds and borders, patio pots and containers. Prefers partial or complete shade.
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Best the Mets
Last year, our previews of Miami Marlins games were our own personal space to bitch and moan about the terrible job the Marlins' front office had done by assembling a roster full of losers that rivaled that of the movie Major League. Jose Fernandez has obviously filled the role of Rick Vaughn, and somewhere in the basement of Marlins Park, we're sure there's a life-size, bikini-clad, strippable David Samson poster to motivate the team to win (not effectively). This year, Samson's fire sale of two years ago looks pretty genius, even though it doesn't hurt to have Giancarlo "the Body" Stanton and ace pitcher/overall good guy Fernandez on the team stacking up stats and wins. This year, we're gonna be excited to write about this team, especially when division rivals like the New York Mets come to town this Tuesday. The Marlins and Mets share the same record, good enough for a slim third place in the division, but still at a .500 record. The season is still young, and it's the best time to see what we've got. The two face off at Marlins Park (501 Marlins Way, Miami) at 7:10 p.m. Tickets cost $25 to $225. Visit marlins.com or call 305-480-1300.
Tue., May 6, 7:10 p.m., 2014
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