text:
For a period, Jägermeister was your one true love and you wouldn't settle for anything else at a party. Then one day, your true love turned on you. Since then, the mere thought of it evokes nothing but nausea.
Before the Jägermeister phase, you had an equally awful Vodka-Bull phase (sleeping is overrated anyway) and before that a horrible Bacardi Breezer phase. You quit all of them and settled down for wine and beer. They're more reliable and don't make you puke so easily.
If you don't look each other straight in the eyes, it's a fact that both of you will be punished with bad sex for 7 years. Though nobody knows if that means bad sex with each other or bad sex with your actual partner…
This tradition can become quite stressful if you're drinking with a big group. You'll probably miss looking in the eyes of at least one person, and it always takes ages till you finally get to take a swig of your beer.
Not doing this won't result in bad sex for seven years, but in bad luck. Probably forever. These superstitions might be the reason why we Germans always come to parties so early. Otherwise we'd never be done with clinking before the end of the party.
Spoon, knife, park bench, teeth, buttocks…Once you've mastered the technique with one tool, the whole world is your playground! There's just this one strangely-shaped, kind of triangular thing that gives you kind of a hard time…What was the name of it again? Oh yes, bottle opener!
Thank God most of your friends drink the same sort beer. It's probably a kind of evolutionary prevention mechanism so that you don't lose too many males in useless fights about whether pale beer, wheat beer, or dark beer is better.
In an emergency however, you'll drink whatever is offered to you…as long as it contains hops and malt.
That's the one thing you typically all agree on. From a young age you've learned this from your father, who learned it from his grandfather, who didn't even know that there was something called "beer" outside of Germany. You might not have much national pride, but you are proud of your beer and you're proud of being part of the nation that created beer in its present form. And you'll fight anybody who disagrees.
The cheapest one on the lowest shelf in Aldi will suffice.
The legal drinking age for beer and wine in Germany is 16, but you can't get your car driving licence until you're 18, which is also the legal drinking age for spirits. Actually that's pretty great, because it means nothing stands in the way of a real party to celebrate your successfully-passed driving test.
You forgot to put your makeup on and that's the result. But to be honest, they've known you for years and probably just want to make you feel good about yourself by asking for ID. But still, it feels damn good to be considered for so much younger than you really are.
A Radler (half beer / half lemonade) is said to be one of the most refreshing drinks there is. Also, you can easily get back on your bike after one liter (cyclist is Radler in German) without being too drunk to pedal in a straight line. Beer is food anyway, right? And beer with lemonade is just lunch with an alcohol-free drink.
While you're usually known for your sophisticated music tastes, as soon as you're slightly drunk, good old German Schlager music seem to be the best party music ever. That's right, Schlager music — the cheesy, old-fashioned stuff that usually only your grandparents listen to.
If things get really bad, you even start dancing to Mallorca Schlager, where D–list celebrities try to extend their 15 minutes of fame to 20 minutes with the help of computer technology and high quality lyrics like, "And the red horse just turned around and fended the fly off with his ponytail. But the fly was not stupid and made summ, summ, summ and flew around the horse with a lot of buzzing. Schalala."
Oh Germany, you country of poets and thinkers!
But not just the drinking part! There's an old German movie from the early 1940s with the same name, Die Feuerzangenbowle. It starts with a couple of older gentleman drinking the punch and reminiscing about the good old days at school and all the pranks they played on their teachers. One of the men never had this privilege, as he was homeschooled. So in their intoxication, they decide to send him back to school. Shortly after he arrives, he becomes the nightmare of his teachers…
Especially at German universities, it's customary to watch the movie at Christmas time, while — of course — drinking some Feuerzangenbowle.
Drinking in bars and clubs in Germany is generally pretty expensive, so meeting at a friend's place and pre-partying is common. Often you also just get stuck there and have a better time than you could ever have in an overcrowded, sticky-floored club.
In case you made it out of your friend's house, you face the next challenge: most clubs don't exactly appreciate it when their guests arrive drunk. Luckily, you're amazing at pretending to be sober for the one minute you have to look in the doorman's eyes. This is also a very useful skill to have when sneaking back into your room at home. You parents still think you are young and innocent and don't drink.
American fast food, Turkish döner, Arabic falafel, Italian pizza, German currywurst. God bless German culinary multiculturalism — it's cured SO many hangovers. You also know exactly where you can get each food at which times. You might forget the way home, but you'll never forget where to get food!
Though, thanks to the unpredictable weather, they more often turn into game nights in someone's living room. Luckily, many German flats have a roofed terrace or balcony. As soon as you move out of your parent's house, you know you'll want the same for your own apartment.
More often it's only a side effect of social gatherings. You just want to enjoy a bottle of beer or a glass of wine with your friends, often together with a good meal. If it turns out to be one of those epic party nights, so be it. If not, you'll be just as happy.
If, sometimes, it would be better for their dignity to just to stay in the corner and keep watching the party crowd from afar, is a point worthy of discussion some other time.
There are just too darn many of them in Germany. And at least one of them lies on the way between your office / university and home.
Love the article 😀
Radler = Beer with Lemonade?!!?!?!? Not how I know it! Since when are sprite, 7-up and schweppes lemon-lime called lemonade?
I'm a waitress from NRW… If you order Radler, you usually get beer with fanta or a cheaper substitude. Beer with sprite is either Gespritztes or Alsterwasser (Thats far more common), though most people usually just say Beer with Sprite. I've never had anyone order beer with schweppes though.
Radler in NRW is beer mixed with Fanta?
i agree with u. Here in bavaria u use beer with sprite when u wanna have a "radler". When u wanna have beer with fanta than u have to order a "Russen" !!
a Russen is a Weizen with Sprite
A Russen is weizen mit sprite
The "Alster" is a river or rather a lake here in Hamburg. I don`t know why, but we call a radler "Alsterwasser" and yes just Sprite with beer. I´ve never heard of a Fanta-beer mix but ist sounds awefull. A beer-cola mix is called "Drecksack" up here.
beer with cola is diesel in saxony
I'm a Barkeeper in NRW and a Radler is a Beer with Sprite (or something alike here). If you want to have an Beer with Fanta it's usually called an "Alster" – so it's exactly the opposite here. You can also buy radler in the Supermarket (e.g. Bitburger Radler) which is exactly the Same (Beer with citrus Limonade)
"Alsterwasser" is actually the northern German term for a "Radler" and both is made of beer and Sprite. Mixing beer with Fanta is just wrong 😀
Exactly. Fuck you all for saying Radler is beer with Fanta.
Up north (Bremen for example) Alster is beer with lemon soda (sprite or similar). When I moved further south (Mannheim area) they looked at me and told me it's called Radler. And then I learned that there is sweet Radler (with Sprite) and sour Radler (with bubbled water). Then we have "Altbierbowle" up north which is dark beer (Altbier) with canned strawberries and the juice. Great during the summer! Beer with coke is "Krefelder" up north.
"Krefelder" is alt beer or dark beer mixed with Coke
Not where I come from. That's why I wrote up north more than once.
Yup same where I live.
The hell is wrong with our country oO. Mixing beer with fanta!? That's just cruel and inhuman.
You are officially allowed to use citrus lemonade, coke (and this with cherryliquore and/ or Asbach).
Everything else will result in endless purgatory 😉
Ooooh, those were the days! Dark beer with coke and cherry liquor (Eckes Edelkirsch!!!) I forgot the name for that mixture, though. Gois? Geiss?
its called goaß/goaßnmass in bavaria
In Augsburg where I was they had a similar drink half dark beer, half coke with a double shot of brandy. They called it Geiss. I think it was Augsburg specific because when I tried ordering it in Munich I was brought ice cream. LOL
Naja, mostly I just wanted to point out that "Limonade" doesn't translate to "lemonade," but soda, pop, and words like that.
I just wanted to point out that you are wrong, sprite and schweppes and 7-up are called lemonade, because they are out of lemon, which is "Zitrone". Fanta is not a lemonade.
Source: me, living in England for 5 years.
like, in English?
So you basically you just described why Noah is all right!
in the sense that Germans use the term leomande for basically all kinds of sweet drinks – unlike the English – where that refers only to drinks containing lemon juice.
lemonade = normally fizzy lemon flavoured drink
orangeade = normally fizzy orange flavoured drink
cherryade = normally fizzy cherry flavoured drink
In the US, lemonade definitely ISN'T fizzy. The lemonade is freshly squeezed lemons with water and sugar. No bubbles about it.
Hence the word normally because in Europe, soft drinks are normally carbonated.
I am afraid of that the question if Radler is made with sprite or fante, will lead into a third world war…
Radler with Fanta, WTF? I'm from Bavaria, to be exact from Upper Franconia, which has the highest brewery concentration in the world. And I can definitely tell you that Radler is made of beer and lemonade (e.g. Sprite). Btw most breweries also produce their own lemonade, coke etc.
btw never order a Ralder in Austria, it tastes like shit!
Bamberg/ Nürnberg hier: Gelbe Limonade ist auch Limonade.
Since ever
Yeah but sometimes I would ask for lemonade and get fanta in Germany. Maybe they're the same thing to some Germans lol.
American lemonade (mostly made from lemon juice, sugar and water) is not known in german food service industry. We have the (sometimes old-fashioned) word "Limonade" which is basically meant for a non-alcoholic beverage made from fruit and carbonated water, mostly used for Fanta or Sprite as they are the most common "Limonaden". So if you ask for a Limonade and get a Fanta, it's pretty usual. Don't blame it on the Germans if you are not so familiar with regional drinks 😉
Just a bad translation. The author is referring to the German Limonade which is a carbonated lemon beverage (or in some locations any soft drink) and he/she assumed that the correct translation is lemonade no knowing that lemonade is a non-carbonated beverage.
I totally disagree with number 7.
You've never been to Palatinate region (with largest wine festival on earth) where we drink our Schorle (half Riesling, half sparkling water) in .5 Liter glasses as others drink beer!
You may now think we just use cheapest Riesling but that's wrong. If one of us ever would drink wine from Aldi he'd go to hell!
It is so fun to see Americans at wine festivals get drunken so fast by Schorle.
But from good wine you would never make schorle…
As one from that region, I have to say: A Schorle deserves a good wine as well. I won't drink a Schorle made from wine I wouldn't drink pure.
Actually ist not half wine, half water. More like Wine with a little bit of water. 😀
It depends who orders the Schorle, if you are a local and speak the local german, you will easily get a 80 / 20 mix, while tourists might end up with a 50 / 50.
And one thing they should immediately stop selling: a Schorle mixed with SevenUp or similar….
I wanna come to Germany ASAP!!!!!!
Yes! Just what I was thinking! Growing up in Bad Dürkheim meant growing up drinking wine. And while sometimes drininkg cheap-ish wine was ok, it never got to a point where drinking Aldi wine was acceptable. Aldi wine's for cooking and that's it.
Yeah the part about beer and wine is more about bavaria than your region.
Geht nichts über ein zünftiges Schorlegewitter! Für die richtigen Mischverhältnisse immer gleich eine "Sängerschorle" bestellen. Beste Grüße aus Südbaden!
Fuck off
such as bullshit. german people have no idea about getting wasted haahah
you. know. nothing.
Bavarian people do
Are you Jon Snow? 😀
Well, acutally you can get your drivers license earlier. People learn drinking and driving at around the same age here. Also, beer and jägermeister aren't the only alcoholic beverages Germany is known for. There are many choices of fine wine that many of us enjoy. Also 9 is quite sexist. And many others are essentially bullshit, still a nice read though 😀
Ich wohne in Deutschland und stimme allen Punkten 100% zu! 😀 I fucking love german beer 😀
von wegen… 😉
most accurate article ever.
As a German, I agree with all of these except no. 6 – south east Europe (Czechia, Hungary, Slovenia) has a number of amazing beers compared to which Beck's, Krombacher and the like taste like piss. But there are some decent german beers if you know where to look 🙂
Good old Viez (wine made of Apples) live IT with Coke! 🙂
I'd disagree on number 6. – and if you dont: check up on your beer history knowledge!
I mean Yes, we do appreciate our variety of quality beer and often say it's like 'THE best' – and for some variants it might even be true (like for Weizenbeer I guess) –
But a true 'Pils' drinker knows that it's best from where it came from!
and that is the Czech Republik!
* A pils is a soort of beer – not a brand. It is the most common kind used for draft beer.
Also, 5 people or more at the table: all clink together in the middel so there's no trouble of crossing arms – if all look in the middel thats fine – otherwise go around with your eyes it'll basically happen by itself that you meet all eyes then
Absolutely correct. You've never been to Prague and never had a local Pils? Your life has no reason. I fucking love Budweiser and drive miles to get a good one from a barrel!
how to order cola-beer in Hesse: ich hätt gern son dreckisches
it implies the dirtness
White beer with coke is called neger in bavaria
Still racism.
It's simple. Radler/Alster Wasser is beer mixed with sprite.
Some ppl drink it with Fanta but I never heard a specific word for it.
Cola beer… I think we all know what that is. (Some ppl still call it Neger but with all the racism problems I wouldn't recommend saying it only if u are surrounded by friends.
Then there is a Russen what is Weissbier mixed with sprite. Or colaweizen, Weissbier mixed with coke.
Of course u can drink bier mixed with club soda what is a sauer gspritzes beer.
There's Prolly so much more to explain. But i think it's a start.
Cola beer is called 'Diesel'.
"Schweinebier" is also pretty common for cola beer. Got its name for a reason.
Or "Drecksack".
beurk, what the fuck?! it's not sprite, it's lemonade. Real, good lemonade..
everyone in the whole of bavaria would slice you into pieces for mixing beer with sprite 😀
?! Sorry, in Germany there is nothing like "good old lemonade" – when you say Limonade, you get Fanta or Sprite. And Radler ist mostly made with Sprite. American lemonade simply doesn't exist here – so how could anyone mix it with something?!
Bavaria is in germany 😛
u forgot the "goaß" or "goaßmaß" which means goat and exists probably only in bavaria
it's mixed ether with weizen or dark beer together with coke and 1 or 2 shots of cherry liquer ( better less then more for my taste, otherwise it gets to sweet)
I'm missing this one on the list: 7 beers are a meal. (7 Bier sind eine Mahlzeit.)
we say 4 beer is a schnitzel
so when i got 4 beers i just ate something but didnt drink anything
Good to see that our neighbours harbor somewhat similar drinking traditions as here in the Netherlands xD But if I'd get a choice, I'd drink some glasses of Hefeweizen, somewhere in a small village in the Eifel in the Biergarten in the sun.
Being a German I can confirm that everything on this list is absolutely true. But of course I am completely different. 😉
Bananenweizen. Beer with banana juice. Pretty popular in hot summer days! 😀
Warum auf englisch? Alle die kommentieren sind deutsch genauso wie sicherlich der Verfasser des Artikels. Hauptsache englisch schreiben – auch typisch deutsch…
Loved reading the comments- we Germans really do seem to be terrible know-it-alls 😀
I don't drink beer (or Jagermeister…eeugh), but I do every kind of wine and schnaps. oh ja. This includes Apfelwein, mulled wine (Glühwein), red, white, whatever, and whatever flavor schnaps of the day. I would still say 3 or 4 of these are true with me (American), and a couple more might be so regarding the parties and what not once I move there.
hahaha- pretty much true
Actually I only have one thing to complain about: write alsterwasser or alster instead of fucking Radler. Radler is Bavarian, nobody needs those. Their beer is lame and the Oktoberfest is just disgusting. Also, point 6 is nonsense. In the south, chzech beer is liked by many as well, pils is from there or budweisar, can't complain about that. And up here, in the north, we drink much faxe and much Heineken, so beer from Denmark and Netherlands.
1.) I disagree! When I "learned" drinking around 16, Jägermeister was an awful old-and-ugly-men-drink, it got it's new image when I was already 19/20, and I have tasted Jägermeister a very few times but still find it as disgusting just as most of my friends do.
2.) Yeah, true
3.) Also true!
4.) Sure! I thought everybody does?
5.) Of course!!! Between regions there are mockings about the beer taste: Cologne people who like Kölsch would NEVER EVER drink a Düsseldorfer Altbier!
6.) FOR SURE! Only in Germany, you have the Reinheitsgebot, a rule which basically means it is not allowed to put anything else in beer except hop, malt, yeast and water. No "E's", no flavours, no other nasty ingredients, just pure beer of a high quality.
7.) DISAGREE!!! Germany has many very good wine regions, especially for white wine. The author should definitely join some of the wine festivals in autumn in Mittelrhein or Mosel Region (or even in big cities): The wineries show their wine, you may buy it by glass and taste (and waste!) yourself through a wonderful variety.
And: Also ALDI sells a few very good german wines!
8.) True and pretty clever: you learn how to deal with alcohol before you are allowed to drive a car. Makes perfect sense to me.
9.) Even if THESE times are already gone for me: It is of course very flattering 🙂
10.) Yes and no – Radler is mostly made with Limonade, which is not the equivalent to american lemonade, it is usually made with Sprite, in some regions also Fanta (YUK!!!). And you may also drink it during daytime as a refresher, but hardly ever before 12am.
11.) What shall I say? The more you drink, the more beautiful your date gets, the funnier the Schlagermusik is. Coincidence?
12. ) GRRRRREAT movie, still, although it is over SEVENTY years old!
13.) No. This is way more common in Scandinavia. Or if you are unter 20.
14.) I think this is nothing we learn. We were simply born with this gift.
15.) WORD. When you're wasted, you usually get hungry (even at 3am) and make the weirdest food experiences – and ENJOY them. If you are already at home: cold Pizza or Pasta will do the job, too – and taste WAY better than if you were sober.
17.) Pretty true.
18.) Yes – and this range is very small 😉
19.) NO!!!! Well, the Glühwein comsuption IS very high – but on the other hand, you skip a few meals for it 😀
Dormunder export or Warsteiner for beer and before Jaegermeister it was Unterberg, they've missed the flavoured schnapz and I don't think the author even knows where Germany is, let alone drunk there.
There is always that one person nobody ever should have showed them how to make comments…
8.) also you can only kill yourself with too much alcohol, with a car you can kill countless innocent people, so you have more responsibility and thus need to be a bit more older/experienced
this is hilarious! thank you!
jägermeister isn't a phase!
öhhm, sich in nem artikel von 2015 auf nen film von 1940 berufen? chapeau! du hast die bild-mentalität auf sehr überzeugende art und weise aufgegriffen..selten so nen schwachsinn gelesen..und dabei hatte ich ca n halbes jahr die vice geliked
Oh Darmstadter Pils, I miss you so.
Soo true for the most. Ended up my Jägermeister phase 7 years ago. But I would disagree with number 13. It is mostly not because of the price. It is more to be already in a good mood before entering a club. Prices of drinks are compared to the states rather cheap.
An hilarious article, is this I know the majority below are speaking in German
I've found a few other German sites too.
In no particular order –
( 15) German culinary multiculturalism improves with drink- try as many as possible
when blotto, realise you've over done it in the morning and cant get rid of the house
guests– A problem- Angela Merkel- stay sober;-D
(2 & 3 ) German superstitions about drink and sowing wild oats, crossing
arms and looking friends in the eyes when clinking glasses- so funny.
I am quite small so looking straight ahead is usually some one's chest and they
just go right over the head.
( 6) Disagree about German beer, its that thick black English beer that resembles
treacle that's served in Yorkshire pubs with sawdust on the floor, that's the best
not that I've drank it myself but chaps can drink bucket loads of the stuff.
( 19) I've heard German Christmas beer festivals are legendary, in fact Christmas
is a time for pickled debauchery generally.
I'll get back to the rest.
My other post disappeared, hey sorry to mock German eccentricities and in English too .. I know other sites
now in Bavaria . Someone from there who loves blue cheese is teaching me some German words- Merkel will approve of them too.
Brilliant article and I've found other German sites too – one of them based in Bavaria- get to that later.
A few an in no particular order.
( 15) German culinary multiculturalism improves with drink- drink as many a variety as possible when blotto, realise
you've over dome it in the morning and cant get rid of the unwelcome house guests who are now squatting-
Hear that Angela Merkel.
( 2 & 3) German superstition about crossing arms, clinking glasses and s8x- so funny I split my sides with laughing,
BTW what about small people, I rarely make eye contact with anyone- looking ahead I meet a lot of chests.
( 6) No ! English beer is the best. That thick black treacle stuff drank in Yorkshire pubs with sawdust on the floor
with old chaps falling a sleep, and sheep dogs on the floor.
( 19) I've heard that German Christmas beer festivals are legendary and that the food festivals are pretty good too,
but this is about beer.. but I'll assume some food is available.
(15) No comment!
(2 & 3) The saying is: "Nur Schweine trinken alleine!" = only pigs drink alone. Which is what you would say if someone drinks without clinking glasses first. The eye contact thing is taken really seriously by some people! I thought the bad sex was caused by being horribly, horribly drunk? Are you not looking up their noses? I need to watch people's lips too; because my hearing is so lousy in noisy environments. True about the Dutch…
(6) When are you coming over to try German beer out? 😉 3:-) You can try some Spitfire, Theakston's Old Peculier, Bishop's Tipple and so on to compare notes… It's Biergarten time at the moment. No sawdust, but I have been known to partake in a rowdy song about goats to tune of the British National Anthem…
(19) Christmas Markets are legendary and food is available but optional. German beer is food; and they reckon you only need a few additional vitamins to have had a complete well-rounded meal. You get different beers for different times of the year as well: Christmas beer, Mai Bock (May goat which is like being butted by one) and Oktoberfest beer (additional sugar) to name a couple.
( 15) your no comment, I was speaking only of immigration, not
as some multicultural Mata Hari character with a plethora * cough* unknown breakfast guests. Reminds me of a old 50s film
a chap wakes up in the morning next to a strange woman only to find they got married whilst drunk.
( 2&3) Never trust anyone who cant look you straight in the eyes.
I watch peoples lips for the same reason, the left ear is fine but
the other one is a pain. Accents can be a problem.
I'd thought being horribly horribly drunk would cause issues with
men's private bits so therefore they'd not remember it in the morning that it didn't happen.
Keep both separate, drink in the evenings and s e x first thing in the morning, when a chap is vulnerable, pre- showered
pre- shaved, pre- shampooed and soberly adaptable.
The Dutch are not only the tallest people in the world but the nicest too although more blunt then the Germans.
( 19) I'd go to these markets for the food, but drinks for different
times of the year, I've read below that Bavaria has the highest
percentage of breweries in Germany.. a lot of yodelling with
those goats in the alps. You sing to them as well ???
( 7) Never go with the cheapest bottle of wine, buy a good one
and drink less of it, as with everything in life its the quality and
not the quantity ;-D
"(15) your no comment, I was speaking only of immigration" I knew that, hence the 'no comment'. I can't think of the 50's film where someone 'wakes up in the morning next to a strange woman only to find they got married whilst drunk'; but it occurs in 'The Hangover'.
( 2&3) "Never trust anyone who cant look you straight in the eyes." What if they need to have their ear turned toward you in order to hear what you say (because it's important to them)?
Luckily, I don't have a distinguishable accent, so you should have no problem there. Apart from pronouncing words like Dorset like a Dorset yokel (having lived there briefly).
"I'd thought being horribly horribly drunk would cause issues with
men's private bits so therefore they'd not remember it in the morning that it didn't happen." Never been affected adversely under the 'affluence of incohol'; except not being able to remember how great I was. 😉
"Keep both separate, drink in the evenings and s e x first thing in the morning, when a chap is vulnerable, pre- showered pre- shaved, pre- shampooed and soberly adaptable." So, what are you saying here? That you like to take control (nothing wrong with that)? I'm not sure about 'vulnerable'? If it was me, I'd give you fair warning the night before, that I'd be waking you up with s e x. That is hardly vulnerable.
"More blunt then the Germans." Is that possible?
( 19) "Bavaria has the highest percentage of breweries in Germany." Certainly the biggest producer Oettinger. I think yodelling is confined to the Allgäu (along the border with Austria) and certainly not in Schwaben.
( 7) "Never go with the cheapest bottle of wine, buy a good one and drink less of it, as with everything in life its the quality and not the quantity ;-D" We'll have to disagree on that. Buy a good one €6.99 and a cheap one €2.99. Drink the good one first, get hammered for less than €10! The article is about drinking in Germany after all! 😀
( 15) just checking 😉 Also that film was made in the 50s not the one you mentioned
I think either Cary Grant or Gregory Peck was in it if I recall.
I rather like films of different calibre's from the 30s to the 60s.
( 2&3) in that situation you smile apologetically and subtly point to your ear.I meant foreign accents
There is a doctor at my GP surgery and no one understands a word she says
and she struggles with English too.
What's ' incohol' or shouldn't I ask 😉 I am sure you're not bragging now are you ?
' I'd give you fair warning the night before that'll I'd be waking you up with s e x' warning ?
That's sounds demanding, expected and hardly an aphrodisiac and may not end in seduction That's a quick thing in 5 minutes to serve some masculine and sometimes female need ( but mainly masculine) the difference between s e x and making love.
Yes its ok to take the lead, sometimes, and first thing in the morning, when the chap is
somewhat sleepy and not expecting a feeling of a tongue running over his chest as he awakes so therefore vulnerable for a bit ;-D
PS there is also a rug, a open fire and a glass of wine on a Sunday afternoon..
not beer.. but a bit old for all that now ;-D
Yes the Dutch are more blunt then the Germans, they seem friendlier generally but
can appear rude with their directness, they'll tell you exactly what they think of you
good or bad whereas Germans would be more diplomatic with their wordings.
( 19) oh come on you'd do a spot of yodelling if asked, wouldn't you? sounds as if you've
a good voice for it but please no mention of goat herding. or slapping thighs.
( 17) oh I see your point, this is Germany and its relationship with Wine, chuck it down the gullet without it touching the sides ;-D
'Affluence of incohol': try saying influence of alcohol when really drunk, and you should get the picture. 😉
(15) I can't remember that film. My favourite from that era is 'Some Like it Hot'. I quite like the Will Hay, Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy and Abbott and Costello films.
(2 & 3) I lean in and cup my ear.
I wouldn't brag. I am good in bed, though…
I usually fall asleep within a couple of minutes and am absolutely no trouble at all! Boom tish! Thank you! Thank you! I'm here all day! 😀
Seduction? That's for other times of the day. This is about animal desire being pure caveman and cavewoman! There's a time and place for both, ofor course. Glass of wine? Does that mean I have to drink the rest of the bottle? 😀
The Dutch I've met have always been friendly. I didn't notice a particular difference about bluntness compared with the Germans.
(19) No yodelling! You see whip cracking and thigh slapping at our local Oktoberfest (I can't remember it in Munich and there's a reason for that!). 😀
(17) Not really, however much it appears that way.
BTW this site gets lots of visitors because it goes viral on Facebook every few months. I would suggest an edit is in order. 😉
( 15) Some Like it Hot. I adore both Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe-
Jack Lemmon was rather cute and funny.
But also Bette Davis and Laurence Olivier. Casablanca, All Alfred Hitchcock films
Most Audrey Hepburn films. Not really into romantic films but like Brief Encounter.
Oh and The Black Sheep of Whitehall,39 Steps .
No I don't doubt you'd brag and falling asleep after a few minutes.. clearly exhausted..
now the lady must have been rather good too. And you'll be starving once awake ;-D
' Animal Desiree' Oh that ! ( Your right, a lot of editing needed here) That aching to have someone there and then or you'll burst.. yeah but you cant give 7 hours notice of that ;-D
The glass of wine, is purely part of a cunning ploy to entice you too the rug, the things
women do ;-D
The Dutch are always warm and friendly, I am just saying they are straight talking too.
( 19) whip cracking ? No I'm not enquiring, odd those Bavarians, and as for the goats
no comment.
Yes an awful lot of editing needed here, you must be familiar with this site, I see ?
(15) 'Manche mögen's heiß' as it's called in German. A literal translation for once! There are only a few of those films I've seen.
I would need more than 7 hours notice. That wouldn't even see me at Calais. Plus the crossing and a few hours in the UK would be more like 12 in total. The warning the night before would be 7 hours or so and you could enjoy the anticipation… http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wlwnbcxBuzI 😉
I doubt I would need enticing! No shame at all in you doing the enticing, though.
(19) The whip cracking display is like this: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4I6rVhg5UEY
To the tune of 'God save the Queen' the song about goats (with subtitles): http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RxzFpttgcF0
Oi you, Casanova, hold your horses put ice cubes on your face and elsewhere.
Watch that chemistry thing it can sizzle a bit much.. all these posts need to be edited
or deleted by the end of the day, baby cakes.
Good links, by the way and now the film as in life.. The Lady Vanishes… Off out to catch a
ferry.The woman prefers to fly for Gods sake but never mind ;-D
I wonder how you my little spaetzle ( dumpling, I think) will do with this link below ;-D
You answer first and I'll be my usual responsive self, although would hate to appear a managing English wench, disparaging those Bavarian goat hurling eccentricities of yours.
I wonder what other habits you've picked up, eh ??? besides those questions, oh
do reveal ;-D
There is a lot of dark wood in these German buildings I've noticed as above and as seen
with other pictures you've sent me.
Used to live in a 500 year old stone cottage, with garlic cloves and heather above the
front door, they'd been there for centuries, cottage with beams and leaded windows
Was meant to be haunted but I never saw any ghost, maybe I wasn't to its liking ;-(
Spaetzle (Spätzle) are egg noodles (that float when they are cooked) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sp%C3%A4tzle Very common round here instead of potatoes or chips. Dumplings are Knödel https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kn%C3%B6del Knuddeln, on the other hand is cuddling/canoodling but is derived from Ķnödel (note the similarity to knead).
I don't have account for that site, so will answer on here.
I always say that there's no Q (queue) in the German language. It's pronounced differently and they don't do queueing generally and when they do it's called 'Schlange stehen' anyway (literally standing snake).
Bad habits I've picked up? Blunt and direct talking.
Oh please do answer the questions here when you have a moment 😉
Germans really like their dumplings from those links you've sent,
I suppose its cold, especially where you are near the mountains.
Semmel Knoedel.. Don't know how to do the German letters
You shall be my Pflaumenknodel, apparently one of the best German
desserts.. and you are to be a dumpling;-)
Germans don't queue, that's certainly a very English thing, I avoid queues like the plague. Of course we have our own eccentricities.
Apparently Germans are particular about house slippers, so are the Dutch. Even putting them out for Nikolaus at Christmas as do the Dutch.
And shaking hands, they apparently always do that. I must admit I prefer that to the kissing on cheeks, especially with strangers.
But then of course there is the single or double handshake.
You also like the German habit of swimming in lakes, that's not English in the slightest, nothing wrong with direct talking 😉
Glad you like old houses with character, I thought you would, love our
old historical towns with cobbled streets. A lot around Ludlow too
there are a lot of landlines that cross over the Welsh/ English border.
Chester is lovely . Maybe the ghost was just shy, poor thing ;-D
Not sure if I'm supposed to be offended by being called a dumpling? I'll run with it though.
On my tablet I press and hold the main letter and slide to select the one I require. Holding the 'a' gives me a choice of: å, æ, ā, ă, ą, à, á, â, ã and ä. Or you can anglicise by putting an e after the letter: ä = ae ö = oe and ü = ue. That means that Düsseldorf is the same Duesseldorf. On my PC I copy and paste the letters from elsewhere.
Semmel is the Bavarian dialect for Brötchen (bread roll). A noun with 'chen' on the end indicates a small, cute or cuddly thing e.g. Mädchen (girl), Kaninchen (rabbit) and is neuter i.e. a 'das' word. A 'Brot' (loaf) becomes a 'Brötchen' (little loaf).Some other words might be amended to indicate that cuteness: 'die Laden' (a feminine noun) could become 'das Lädchen' if it's of Ye Olde Worlde type. Nouns ending in 'le' are similar but tend to be dialect (Bavarian) so that little shop would be a 'Lädle'.
The basic rule is shake hands with people you don't know or know well and a hug for those you do. Oddly, I generally don't feel comfortable hugging women in the UK and I have no idea why.
I've been swimming in rivers and lakes in the UK, but they are unprepared areas.
What's your connection with Ludlow? Not somewhere I have been gliding at Long Mynd, which is not too far away from there.
Maybe the ghost was scared of you? 😀
You like swimming in unprepared rivers, lakes, do you like this type of thing too
There are blue lagoons and sea caves throughout the UK. From Lulworth Cove in Dorset,
Abereiddi, Pembrokeshire. But admittedly more in the Mediterranean.
Stunning aqua waters, especially in secret caves, not pretentious, crowded holiday resorts,
quite magical. I like caves a lot, stunning ones in Northern Spain, near the mountains.
Not one for lakes and rivers generally, for swimming, too cold. and if I were sitting by undiscovered river reading and
watching for otters and you appeared noisily interrupting my peace,
soaking me and frightening otters, I'd be disgruntled 😉
I'll answer the rest of this tomorrow if I may, there is section I'd like to go in depth with you
about, must dash, little pflaumenknodel.. glad you'll run with it 😉
You can swim in the river Aare in Bern and it's absolutely beautiful. Water temperature 20°C, flowing at a moderate pace. Dive in off the bridge and float downstream, climbing out by the open-air pool. My brother used to live in Bern, which is why I know about it. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_3XmSVgT2sg
Been swimming in Lulworth too. But my paternal grandparents lived on the coast at St Bees (where Rowan Atkinson was educated), so we would swim in the sea there. http://www.visitcumbria.com/wc/st-bees/
Why would I be frightening otters? Soaking you is a completely different matter though… that would be compulsory! 3:-D
Now that River looks very exhilarating, did you have races with your brother in the water
and do you go canoeing.
St Bees looks beautiful, the rugged landscapes of the North, suit me rather a lot, saying that
I like Dorset and Devon too, but Devon is a bit chocolate boxlike in its prettiness.
Have you climbed Scarfell Pike
I haven't , but my brother did at 14 years old a couple of years before he went. I might
one day though, with my cheese and pickle sandwich and Kendal mint cake 😉
I also spent a lot of time when young visiting my favourite aunt and remember Usk very
well and the riverhttps://www.google.co.uk/search?q=the+river+usk&rlz=1T4DGUK_enGB307GB307&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CCwQsARqFQoTCKKNv46h7sYCFUGQFAodVK8Ieg&biw=1280&bih=585#imgrc=7BBvxJ3skiCNGM%3A
You'd upset those cute little otters on purpose, a great big thing like you interrupting
their swimming. And you think you can soak me and get away with it, er ?
I'll hide your clothes and leave you stranded in the river, you'd not dare climb out,
that would be hugely amusing ;-D
It was good fun but no racing. It's a laid back activity.
I'm more familiar with Dorset than Devon; which I have only driven through on the way to Cornwall. I'm sure I've been up Scafell Pike along Striding Edge, but I don't remember when. Definitely been up Helvellyn.
I can't click on the second link because there is no space after river. I can't even copy it to sort it out. 🙁
I wouldn't disturb the otters on purpose. Not in my nature. I'd probably try and swim with them.
"I'll hide your clothes and leave you stranded in the river, you'd not dare climb out,
that would be hugely amusing". Haha, do you really think that would stop me? I'm used to going to the sauna naked. Sounds more like a challenge than a threat!
Oh sorry, I need to send the links separate the link of Usk is below, a place close to me and my brother as children . the second link is of Minchinhampton
Gloucestershire where the old cottage was, very rural and steep, 1 gear up the hill, people
not very friendly and quite obscure. One old lady thought I was Mary Poppins ??
Another didn't like driving into the sun without her chauffeur and was looking for directions
both things did happen.. a very odd place is Minchinhampton– Prince Charles is even close
by..they were all a we bit lofty to say the least.
And as your familiar with Dorset, I guess you know Gold Hill, they're trying to modernise
it now and Weymouth have a nudist beach which would appeal to you.
You go into a sauna naked ? totally? what is it with Germans and Swedish people and this
naked thing. You wouldn't do that in the lake near me? btw otters have sharp teeth, ha ha .
No you wouldn't dare a sauna isn't a lake with a lady quite innocently reading wearing a
straw hat near by.. as if you'd approach me naked, I'd eat my hat.. you wouldn't dare.
It's sounds a bit like the caricature of some backwards village that you see in 'League of Gentlemen': "a local shop, for local people". I know Gold Hill
Mary Poppins? Were you swearing like a trooper then? Julie Andrews apparently does.
It's compulsory to be naked in the sauna. It's quite refreshing lying outside naked a -2°C steaming away straight after coming out of the sauna or rubbing yourself down with snow. This link is where I go often during the winter. They pour scented water onto the heater in a couple of saunas and that really gets the sweat flowing. Is it only British who have a hangup about nudity? http://www.altmuehltherme.de/Saunenlandschaft
If there is one thing I should warn you about: don't dare me not to do something as it's nearly guaranteed that I'll do it! Especially if there is little risk to life or limb. You would need to get yourself an edible hat… 😀
' Is it only the British who have a hangup about nudity? see my response in the link below 😉
The scented water sounds nice, but rubbing yourself down with snow Brrrr… Freezing !
Oh I dare you… all talk and no action me thinks, there is no way you'd leave that lake
naked whilst I'm sitting on the grass reading and eating a sandwich, er ??
What would you do? come and sit next to me and inquire where the Burdock bush was
because you needed a leaf.. just happens Burdock bushes are always near nettles
now that would be very painful now wouldn't it.
my hat is firmly on my head .
I wouldn't need a burdock leaf: much too big! You should just say: "It's the same as a penis, only smaller; and get it over and done with". 😀 However, sitting next to you naked is a done deal. The only question is whether or not you can handle it? I'm betting you couldn't,
You don't notice the temperature of the snow, just the texture. It's like an exfoliant.
Oi, "sitting next to you naked is a done deal" what ? Right to start with you'd be the only one
unashamedly flaunting your bits as I'd be fully clothed in my
favourite peruvian very long dress, whilst sitting on my rug.
I'll also Ignore mentioning your organ as attention would just
encourage it. And you were also bragging when speaking
of burdock leaves sounds like the German thread i found above
on saunas with the "suitably sized towel remarks " what ?
This might be a good time to mention Titus the West Highland Terrier who is also sitting on my rug, as with all Terriers they like
jumping up and biting..hope you felt that 🙂
Forget the Burdock leaf, you'll need to find an Aloe Vera plant
split open the leaf and rub some soothing gel into your poor little
somewhat bruised bit..Want help with the gel:)
You can only boast when you have something to boast about. 😀
Titus would be like putty in my hands; I'm very much a dog person. I was making a fuss of a wire-haired Dachshund once and her owner said: "I don't believe it; she doesn't like men!" I also looked after a West Highland Terrier for a week, so I know what they are like. He too, was apparently, very picky about people; I had to go round beforehand to make sure we got on OK.
I'd always appreciate help with the gel. Thanks for the offer! 😉
" I had to go around beforehand to make sure we got on OK'
Ah, you mean to try bribery – give Titus marrow bones, and cakes, extra walkies, let him jump into muddy puddles and chase cats.
And then when that doesn't work, it will be skulduggery and espionage from you. You'll leave puddles around the cottage- blaming him ! bury shoes in the garden, terrorise the postman and tear up newspapers. I know your game 😉
Advice about the gel, you need to apply thoroughly massaging it in well and allow it to dry before getting dressed ..that'll bit will be ok.. an excuse not to do that ;-D
Once it was established that he was OK with me it was fine. He was bribed with walks and food. The funniest bit was the QM's Great Dane trying to make himself lower and less threatening than a West Highland Terrier; but was getting seen off anyway!
Titus would be so overcome by my personality that I won't have to resort to doggy tricks.
The gel will probably take a lot of rubbing in. At least two lots of gel, just to be sure! 😉 😉
Here are some pictures of where I was for the last few days! http://www.augsburger-allgemeine.de/donauwoerth/Partystimmung-beim-Reichsstrassenfest-id34894872.html
Ah I see, never got this or those above, those computer issues 😉
Last I spoke with you here, you were dealing with Titus ( well trying to, unsuccessfully )
and you had two damsels in distress, one on train lines and another about to be popped in
boiling oil ( still not rescued and probably a kebab by now).
We were also discussing James Bond heroic figures.. tomorrow I'll introduce you to
another heroic action figure, who beats James Bond, from the golden age of aviation, my
type of ' fictional' hero.
Thank you for the pictures, looked like a superb time, we don't have such fun events here.
Hope you thoroughly enjoyed your self 😉
I wondered why I hadn't heard from you? One of the other threads (nutty professor) has closed after a day!
"Maybe I should go elsewhere if not appreciated ;-D" Wherever did you get that impression? Not from me! I even said that I missed you on one thread, because I hadn't heard from you. 🙁
Yclept is a word I'd never heard before. But rather awkward to use in everyday conversation, I'd guess. I sometimes check to make sure the word I wish to use is the correct one for the meaning I desire.
Thank goodness you're not a margarine eater! One step removed from plastic. I make my own muesli which is a bit chunkier I use two different grades of oats, hazelnuts, almonds, sultanas, dried banana chips and milk powder to sweeten and make it more milky.
"Never met up with people from school before, not too sure I'd want to, to be quite honest", Nor me, what on earth for? Mind you, I have loads to choose from. I was more than happy to leave those days behind.
What is going on with your PC? A virus or something? That said, mine is having a spate of rebooting itself again.
Titus? He's been tamed already! I'd have no problems at all with him, I assure you.
Biggles? You've mentioned him already.
They do like a good Fest in Germany. Looking forward to the Oktoberfest next! Woohoo! 😀
What are you doing hanging around this grubby, drunken thread,eh?
What inveiglements does it lure you with..emm. Yclept, Its used
in poetry, can't show you with the tablet and the PC is not right atm.
Margarine..no I'm not too keen on eating melted plastic 😀
Your muesli sounds nice, especially more creamy
(I know someone who pours apple juice over it, yuk!)
Do you ever use dried apricots too.During the winter
I like porridge (made fine in a blender) with a banana and brown sugar
or fruit compot. In summer varied cereals or yoghurt and toast.
Yclept, is a very old word, but still used in poetry, quite beautiful
cant show you an example yet, sorry.
You'd better not have befuddled Titus 🙂
I need to correct you. I've never mentiohed Biggles, only
that Flashman character.
As said before, I'm not one for James Bond, do very much prefer
Major James Bigglesworth, to use the characters full name.
A dashing hero and adventurous chap,defeated the Germans in
two wars,foiled Russians and scuppered a Japanese plot to
poison allied pilots with chewing gum and chocolate.
He saw off humans, octopuses and giant snakes.
Travelled as far afield as Siberia and the Sahara and said if you
can fly a Sopworth Camel you can fly anything.. a camel 😀
Yes they do seem to like their fests in Germany, maybe its all that
beer that needs consuming:D people get the impression of Germans
being somewhat dour but that is clearly not true.
What tablet do you have? I have a Samsung Galaxy Tab S and I can copy and post links.
Have you tried the Microsoft fixit tool on your PC to see if you have any problems? I'm assuming you have a PC and not a Mac. https://support2.microsoft.com/fixit/ A scan with an anti-virus software as well Run Disk cleanup and defragmenter from the Accessories on the Start menu too. What kind of noise? Hard drive, fan, beeping, clicking, humming etc. Once you have that the problem should be easy to locate. I had a hard drive that died: sounded like a grating noise because the bearings were shot.
Part of the reason I'm so sceptical about climate science is because I'm sceptical about what scientists say generally. Look at the whole debate about margarine and butter that has swayed backward and forward over the last 30 years or so. Same with GM foods.
I have porridge with honey or golden syrup in the winter. Nuked (microwave) porridge is really easy to make.
I saw Yclept in use when I looked it up. I wonder what it's origins are? I can't think of a German word that's similar even though the dictionary says it's Germanic in origin. The word that fits best is 'namens'; but it sounds nothing like it. Could be a Platt word (North German coast dialect) which would be brought across by the Angles and Saxons? There's no way I could top that for a random word.
Steve's dog has a different bark when I come to the door, apparently. I take her for walks every so often and she's always happy to see me. I'm warning you:Titus will be coming over to the Dark Side! 😀
I just had a look to see if I had any Biggles books, but I don't; which is a shame. I do remember reading them aged about 11 or so. Cracking books for an aviation mad youngster. I used to be a big fan of Tom Sharpe, for his acerbic wit in my late teens and early 20's.
The German humour is slightly different but they are a serious people. One of my friends tells cracking jokes some of which would be easily translatable to English.
I like to write to you in the evening, when I can dedicate the time it deserves to it. 😉
This explains Yclept, better and if you read there what I said, I've a link to a old word book
that I found in a shop but its online, now clearly, some fine old words.
My other comment there is still pending, for some obscure reason.
One of my favourite words in that book is " Ultracrepidarian" it means someone who is talking of something they know nothing about. I have used it once on a Leftie, they
thought I was paying them a compliment, which was hilarious.
I'll reply to the rest later, although much earlier then you'll arrive around midnight 😉
That's a word I need to remember: ultracrepidarian . Plenty of those on t'internet!
You sound like me: eat what you want, but don't be a glutton. I proudly give these 'experts' the two fingered salute.
Whinge? You are stating an opinion on something.
Oh so here is the unresponded post, Ignoring you? As said by you
on the dog article :^* I responded by the way, there and here now
you see .
I eat what I like 🙂 Was just thinking I've not had a midnight visit
from you for ages (even If I'll be asleep).I'll be dwelling on the
farthest of the concentric spheres if you did. And will forgive
your many sins whilst somewhat alabandical ( the fellow in
the sky wearing a white sheet said i can do the sin forgiving thing).
Hope you've had a nice week and those rather dashing cyclist
thighs are not too stiff after climbing..hope that was enjoyable
too. I was climbing with a bunch of exhausting, overly
exitable children yesterday as a ' responsible adult' me ? 😀
Good for you eat what you like and sod the do-gooders.
Que? Which concentric spheres are you referring to? Astrological or medical?
Surely you can't sin if you're not religious? I'd love to know sins I'm alleged to have committed anyway? Is imbibing copious quantities of alcohol a sin? Happy, but not drunk! 🙂
It was lovely in the mountains. I met up with Steve's cousins and took their kids up into the mountains. I was teaching the eldest how to map read and taking it in turns to shoulder carry the two youngest (plus my little rucksack). It wasn't far but the climb took it out of them.
I may be up for a while yet; it's still quite warm after the 40 degrees C today. Got the windows wide open to get some breeze through the flat.
Sounds like you are having fun with your computer if we are ending up in the junk email box. You need to instruct it that we come in peace… 🙂
Meet me at this new thread at midnight ( I'll be asleep but will..)
I have commented there too.
Concentric Spheres as in celestial, Astrological if you prefer :^》
I've no idea what your sins are, but you've behaved scandelously
you've said..so reveal 😀 to ere is to be human as they say..
Belief in God…even if one doesnt believe in God (as i think i do)
does that remove the feeling of wrongdoing.And I assume most
believe in something..the eternal soul ?
I am sure this thread encourages the worship of the Gods of the
vine and hop..which is why I've sent a link to elsewhere.
Is drinking copious amount of alcohol a sin..depends what else
one is doing at that time:-D probably good to drink less..sometimes:)
Sounds like you had a good time climbing and you clearly know
Steves family well as you are God father too…ah a God father
that doesnt believe in God..got you, ha, ha !
Impressed that a man can read a map, they are usually quite bad and get lost..its that reading and walking thing..:)
Do you have a mountaineering licence?
Hope you dont get too hot tonight.. its quite muggy, oh do visit
the other link i've sent you earlier this evening 🙂
Ah, so the sun it is then?
If I told you when I had behaved scandalously you may think badly of me… 😀
My religion status, as with most things about me, is somewhat complicated. I am not christened due to conflicts with grandparents about what religion we'd be (mother catholic and father protestant). So, while I am not christened I was brought up as a Christian. The Christian way of living is basically sound i.e. treat others decently. But I can't be doing with religious zealots (freaks, extremists, nuts etc.), regardless of which religion. You see them posting on Breitbart and it drives my mad!
Of course I can read a map; I wasn't an officer! 😀 I don't have any mountaineering qualifications. I just like to know where I am. Although I can use a GPS, I like to navigate 'old school' to keep my hand in.
I am looking after Saba (Sheba), Steve and Angie's dog for the next couple of days. Had her down at one of the lakes to cool off earlier. She's sparked out next to me now.
Why wouldn't I visit that other link?
So you've behaved that badly have you..best I dont know then, stay as
I think of you already..not that I am telling you 😀
I've been baptised and confirmed (anglo-catholic) but lost so many relatives
so much also happens in the world you just wonder sometimes.And some
of the nastiest people I've ever come across say they're Christians.
Ah yes you can read a map can you..Can't officers read maps ? I'm glad you
can, would hate for you to get lost in those mountains with no food, water,
or sleeping bag..I really would..honest 🙂
Well you give the cute Saba a cuddle from me..do remember to feed her
wont you..and bowls of water..could you be trusted with Titus..and would
he and Saba..well you know what..get on 🙂
I hope you will visit me on the new thread latter tonight..you might
think I'm leading you astray on some desolate exo planet ..so not turn up
mind you I'll be asleep myself..but still know if your there ..hovering around
I heard a great theory about Earth being hell with all it's war, pain, pestilence, famine etc. and death (being released from all that) heaven. Makes sense really.
The joke is that you should never give the officer a map. I've seen it so many times. Don't worry I had plenty of food and water with me when I went walking. If I was to do it seriously then I'd have a survival kit with me as well.
Saba can be a bit funny about other dogs; she prefers humans. She indulged in one of her favourite hobbies yesterday: eating a dead rodent. She is a rescue dog from Croatia and was living on the streets there. You wouldn't believe that she is well fed. She tried her luck for a third meal when Steve and Angie arrived home! Yes I could be trusted with Titus; The question is more whether he would have divided loyalties? 😉
I've heard that theory too. I sometimes wonder why God doesn't intervene
with all those 'hellish 'things. btw I was chucked out of the Brownies for
refusing to go to church.. just as much as a rebel as you :).
You've mentioned the officer thing, they'd say why would they need a map
when someone else can do the running about 😀
Glad you were safe and well fed whilst climbing,and you were ok.
Also glad you had the survival kit with you, If you need any advice or
guidance about difficult mountainous terrains, you only need to ask 🙂
Saba sounds very cute, probably eats a lot because of the struggle to
find food on the streets, she probably remembers..or she's a hobbit 🙂
OI you leave Titus alone you rapscallion, you, he's devoted little thing,
and so can Saba, he's too old for hanky panky, that told you :-D.
Check you out, you rebel!
Ever tried to steal a bus stop sign? Don't do it on midsummer's eve only a few miles from Stonehenge; there are police everywhere! I got a right telling off! 😀 This one… https://www.google.de/maps/place/Winterbourne+Turn+(NE-bound)/@51.1682184,-1.7579163,13z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x4873ef3a40a40697:0x6a6f8c1373988289
No, they try and take over. How about I tell you about the AAC OC Squadron (a pilot) who got stopped in the first Gulf War by a Challenger tank? When asked where he was going pointed to a place on the map. The tankie's response: "You can't be going there: we're the front line!" He'd got the coordinates wrong…
Saba is lovely very much prefers people to other dogs. Oh it's definitely the case of her not getting over the food problem.
I'm just saying that Titus might prefer me… 😉
Oi, no I've not stolen a bus sign you ne'er-do -well and blackguard 🙂
Lucky the druids didnt get you.I've swang from the English flagpole In the
Eu centre of the universe of Brussels and got told off.
And I've been fruitpicking after climbing under an electric fence on
MoD land whilst they were rifle practicing..got my myself into trouble
when discovered. I had to show them how I got In and then they led this
rather pink cheeked girl in flowing turquoise dress and straw hat away
(as you would have done I am sure).
I've also removed police and roadworks cones to drive where I want to
Now why on earth would Titus prefer you to me,Eh ? Just because your
charms have worked on Saba it doesn't mean whatever inveiglements
you'll use on Titus will make him prefer you. It just isnt going to work
and besides he's beyond that bribing with walks, food and toys stage
so there, that told you 🙂
Bye for now and be good and If you can't be good, be careful as me
Granny used to say 🙂
I think blackguard is a bit harsh! 😉
Shocking behaviour madam! What on earth possessed you to go picking fruit on what I can only assume to be a range?
Titus might be drawn to my magnetic personality. The number of people I've heard say about their dogs being really friendly with me (out of character). I don't have to rely on gimmicks to win a dog over. The only dog I've had difficulty with recently is a neighbour's dog. I was talking to the owner tonight and he's only just got over barking at daughter, son-in-law and grandchild!
Oh diddums, rapscallion then.Ok it was a range and the flag was up but
but I was only at the very back.The chap was unreasonable, what would
you have done with me eh?
Dont know why I couldnt have climbed back under the electric fence,
I got in safely so could've got out.Got some nice ripe fruit 🙂
These dogs are just friendly with you so you'll leave them alone and they'll
get some peace. That neighbours dog was talking to them and barking at
you.Titus will still know your game, he's very stubborn, so I'd give up
if i were you, there's a good boy 😀
Cheeky monkey!
So he was wrong for having your safety as his top priority? I'd have been equally stern with you, no doubt. Shocking that you have so little regard for your own welfare!
My neighbour's dog has always barked at me. He's getting better though, slowly. Titus will not know my game at all, because there is no game. He'll be all 'what a really nice person' and 'Isabella who?' Just warning you… 😀
He was a busy body, what was he doing wandering around anyway?
I'd hope you'd have realised I was fine and no where near the gunfire,
besides what do they actually do on these ranges anyway.
The fruit was lovely and i'd given you a raspberry 🙂
And in your dreams as far as Titus is concerned..no way 😀
It's not the gunfire that kills you, ricochets do though. That's why there is always an area to the rear of the range to allow for that. No fear for your own safety?
Titus would be like putty in my hands… 😉
Well I've found reasons why Titus wouldn't approve of Europeans. Honestly, he's got a
coat so wouldn't be accepted. Its not just saunas then. Finnish people are worse it seems
Good grief ;-D
PS I was fine on the range and am quite shocked that you'd not realise I'd be careful 😉
He'd been fine.
Nowt wrong wi' bein' nekkid lass! 🙂
Ee up.. by gum laddie, go to the bottom of your stairs (a bit wallace and gromit is that, flat cap and whippets 🙂
Indeed now I shower 'nekkid everyday..Just about to jump under the water
this very second..once i put the lablet down. And its not communal
either you bowldacious hussy 🙂 Oii yn kompoester, where is my
Like the Cornish dialect, I cannot understand a word they say.
The Cornish folklore is interesting as is that in Cambridgeshire.
I must shower now..you'd hate me to freeze?
Eos opened the gates of heaven so that Helios can ride his chariot
around the rosy dawn of creation..or in other words good morning.
PS I meant to say in the post last night that I'd never think badly of
you dispite the very scandalous life. But was begotten that my
feminine charms couldn't drag you to the other thread, I'd sent.
I might need to find a replacement for you..there are a few i have
in mind as I mark their atributes out of 10.
I'm off for a walk just at this moment before it gets too hot..
I suppose you'll do the same with the other cute little thing
Edited bit..If you want to rub my belly and let me sit on your lap
anytime you like, you gorgeous little baggage .Have a nice day.
My scandalous life? Steve and Angie still get a kick out of telling people about my activities one evening (Angie's first time at a military function). I wouldn't mind, but it was nearly 30 years ago. A weekend in the military nick for me. That's the one I had to write a nice apology letter for so that I could get the good conduct part of my Long Service and Good Conduct (LS & GC) medal. Then there was the Summer Ball 6 weeks later where I was sent home after and hour and a half… The RSM invited me to his office to discuss whether I had a drink problem on the Monday morning parade. Or drinking ourselves silly whilst on exercise: a crate of beer, bottle of cherry brandy, a bottle of something else and then a bottle of blue Curaçao between 3 in the back of a Landrover. 😀
Looks like the moderation has kicked in on that other thread. I think definitely "maybe my imagination but something has changed between you and I?" Still the same guy who is not likely to change.
"I might need to find a replacement for you, If you're not upto it, there are one or two I have In mind :-D" I see trying the old jealousy tactic?
No nothing is occurring, but things have just been busy lately.
I took the dog out for a walk early on today before it got too hot. We were at the lake for a swim this afternoon. She gets all excitable and won't settle for ages after a swim.
That wasn't quite what i meant by ' your scandelous life' i was referring to
where you go very late at night because they close late for drinks..
your trips to brothels darling..what do Steve and Ange think of that..
and talking to whor es unless you were pulling my little legs 😀
and saying what does a guy have to do for..oh never mind but it seems
condidering the amount we talk that its become less..over the past week
or two. Clearly my imagination 😀
There is no moderation at the other site what so ever, i checked that
beforehand and my comment is still there?
The replacement comment and jealousy tactics ? what are you going on
about..I'm not one for other darker motives..or playing games,eh ?
So you've been busy as late, good for you, so have i , but still find time to
speak to you, glad you had a nice day at the lake..dogs are exitable
arnt they ?
Found out that Budgie Smugglers are real and other things from down under.
The matador food blogs are stereotypical, love the travel blogs, climbing and flying, there is an awful
lot about s e x in Europe. Sending you a few of these just in case I spread my wings a bit.
I might even be missed but I doubt it. I just pressed on the matador sign and found hundreds of these.
I get the message of what you said above loud and clear and I was never playing ' jealousy tactics'
or any other game. I am just me, people take that or leave it, bye babes
Suppose you've done most of these, I know, ive found a lot of these today, take care and bye.
I do hope you'll answer the post below, sent this morning and the
link i've sent you.We've not been speaking much recently ?
Oh and this morning you upvoted some random pleasantry i sent
to WG or someone and you never said a word.
They're hardly you , now are they, just other posters there and they
pale into insignificance when you' re around.
I've blogging chums..but then there is you.
It'll be nice if you atleast wandered into the new thread i've sent
and the one this morning unless you cant be bothered anymore.
I posted on there last night. I'll have a look and see if there's a problem. How very odd, I definitely posted on there. I can vaguely remember some witticism on the sea of tranquillity. That's a real shame, because I was sure that you'd laugh at it. I'll have another go. Really disappointed, because it makes you think I can't be bothered; which is about as far from the truth as you can get! OK reply sent again.
I upvoted you because I liked what you wrote and to let you know I was lurking, but didn't have anything of value to add. Sometimes I'm happy just to listen and watch and I don't necessarily feel the need to say anything.
What's not to like? 😉
There is no moderation at the other site so do try again, you have before
quite enthustically if i recall, I 'd like to know what you said.
After all we've exchanged nearly 400 posts ( or there abouts ..so like
talking,i assume,darling.
indeed whats not to like , a less then warm response considering its from
youbut never mind.Sometimes you just
I just said i genuinely liked you and you somewhat cooly responded by
saying what's not to like..indeed. Youve said a lot about that havent you
sweet lips, to me with our many many posts .Good night and active dreams xxxx
I did this quiz, apparently the traveller I'm more like is Darwin, I did it
twice, too.
PS matador ( this website has hundreds of different topics, if you
click on to the site.. Drink, Travelling, and everything under the sun.
Im finding rather a lot 😀
Did another matador quiz, it says my nationality is subconsciously
French ? ( so the other one I sent you I am more like Darwin
and now French ) btw, I found a matador thread on where you were
in Canada, looked lovely. You could explore yourself and i'll capture you
and you'll be at my mercy 😀
I always turn up first, before my midnight vistor..I'm usually
fast a sleep by then:-D
The whole whole food science thing Is a way to manipulate,
tell us for years that butter, cream and eggs are bad and the
chemicals used to preserve food are good? I hate all the low fat
labels which are high in sugar..the problem is people just dont
exercise enough so they think the alternative is healthier.
Yclept, its from the German clept, which is obsolete now.
In a sentence..
'And there came against the place they stood, a young leaning
kinght yclept Dixon'.
There are many English words that are not that old but are
obsolete now, to make way for Americanism of our Language.
I like 'Opscheplooper (uninvited guest) using that at a dinner party
would be amusing and afterwards have a spot of 'Womblecroft'
( indigestion) both were real words, see how characterful they were.
Its nice of Steve's dog to exercise you, hope you are appreciative
Titus is on to the trickery of humans..always avoids the dark side
especially in woods:-D
I quite liked Tom Sharpe books too, him and Wodehouse, such wit
and that English humour, I remember reading a few years back
from the library..Blot on the Landscape.we should
re-read and compare notes,Do you like Wodehouse, his eccentric
characters and wit comes to life.I liked Bright Young Things,
a group of people enjoying themselves just before the outbreak
of WWI and their lives change forever.
And If your friends jokes are not rude, transtate one for me 🙂
Goodnight little Knödel, sweet dreams to you, I'm up by 6am
during the week and need my 8 hrs, you need less sleep clearly,
I'm worse during the winter, a dormouse..unlike you 🙂
my midnight person :^)
PS as said in a earlier post, I'll be quiet for a few days, I must get
those plethora of emails sorted and paperwork dealt with but
I will look forward to replying to you in a few days 🙂
Come on then ' burdock leaves are too small " answer the questions I've asked at this link,
especially are you a towel or flannel guy.
PS hope you had a good evening, and superb day today, you lovely thing 😉
Answered on the other thread.
Thanks! Saw loads of people I know last night and my music teacher's band are really good. There was a thunderstorm starting as I walked down, which might have reduced numbers. But, it's on until Saturday, so there's time yet.
The burdock leaf is too big. 90% of it would be wasted.
Eh?? The burdock leaves were to be glued together as a type of 'Tarzan'
covering for front and back.A figleaf would suffice for your
manhood unless it was hidiously..oh good God.. ouch .
No it wasn't a backwards village, mainly landowners etc or business people. The Mary
Poppins lady was an aristocrat and one of the nicest and most genuine, if not somewhat
bonkers. I wore a big apricot hat which confused her.
I must admit that I never really took to Gloucestershire, preferring always, Herefordshire and the Welsh Borders and other areas
Please don't risk life and limb, life isn't a Indiana Jones film, bet you'd not rescue me from a
pit of snakes, you'd throw me in. Seriously, I hope you've never put yourself in danger
when you've not needed to ie when you've not been working, obviously 😉
You're not familiar with the fictitious village of Royston Vasey then? Royston Vasey is the real name of blue comedian Roy 'Chubby' Brown; if you didn't know.
Here's a picture of Mary Poppins with a hat http://ocmomblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/mary-poppins-el-capitan-theatre.jpg?30ce8b
Maybe it's your facial features, rather than the hat that reminded her of Mary Poppins?
"Please don't risk life and limb, life isn't a Indiana Jones film, bet you'd not rescue me from a pit of snakes, you'd throw me in." What? I wouldn't throw you in. I wouldn't get close enough to do that. I don't like snakes at all. I have done some dumb things in my time, and got away with them; but that's life. 🙂
Is that a hat or some unfortunate creature on the head. No she came out with a lot of things.
I am one for hats though, furry, straw, Russian, and walking hats sometimes I am stopped
at airports because of hats 😉
I don't like snakes either some keep them as pets, I've no idea why but as for you .
What? you'd just leave me there, where have all the heroic and gallant chaps gone
what about the situation in the link er ?
I'm not really a hat person despite; despite having loads of them. You're stopped at airports because of hats? What a troublemaker! That said, I got stopped flying to Canada on holiday. The small rucksack I had as hand baggage set off the air sampling explosive detector… I quickly explained that it was the one I had been taking on the ranges in Afghanistan and I was only recently returned from there. Fortunately, they believed me. Phew!
If I didn't throw you into the snake pit, how did you get in there? Would I want to rescue someone so obviously a danger to themselves and others? That is Darwin Award winner material http://www.darwinawards.com/ 😉 Now, if you were being attacked by the evil baddies in the clip, then I would have to step in. Now, where did I leave my bolt croppers? 🙂
Ah never mind the bolt croppers, what about this clip, I wager you wouldn't, eh ?
probably ask for fried Fritters or Mars Bars as Pudding. Now James Bond is quite heroic
I suppose. But obviously in the 50s those old Sean Connery films, even the villain's from
the USSR were superior those today.
They didn't like my exceedingly large apricot straw hat. it couldn't be packed and too big to fit in the luggage area, so needed to stay on my head 😉
' a Rucksack' now that really is a dodgy area, lucky you got away with that, I once put
talc in a plastic container, fortunately got away with that.( hope you enjoyed Canada )
That snake pit, well clearly I was on a trip to the outback, wearing my hat with the corks
attached to it, as with all Aussie hats.. but no one told me you weren't meant to drink
all the bottles of wine first.. so * hic* I was blotto and slipped- ;-D
Those Darwin awards were really funny, they made me giggle 😉
PS hope you are having a nice weekend, we are having torrential storms and its really
cold, so I'll be wearing the Russian hats and Arran Jumpers soon 😉
Fritters sounds like a good idea; with custard, obviously! Sorry, the rescue will have to wait until I have eaten. 😀 I'll get round to it, promise.
James Bond would be far more efficient if he concentrated a bit less on his libido!
The villains were clearly villains in those days. Nowadays, they are disguised as politicians, police, clergy and others we were told to trust growing up.
The best thing about the rucksack incident was that they missed my Leatherman knife that I had inadvertently left in there. Talc? Is there a restriction on that in hand baggage? Not something I would take with me. I usually have iPod, noise cancelling headphones (plane adapter), water, an inflatable neck cushion, my jacket and a magazine or book.
I was in Canada to do more seaplane flying from Vancouver Island. I loved it, including landing on Green Lake at Whistler. I love British Columbia, it's such a beautiful part of the world. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MhqwYDkZG0w
I see, so you were drunk from the wine? Yet you still would like to be rescued? You wouldn't catch me being as irresponsible *ahem* 😀
The Darwin Awards have been verified as true. In the early days there were quite a few urban myths, which have been weeded out. Amazing some of the stupid things people do!
I was out last night as well which was great, apart from the midnight thunderstorm. I was having a good catch up with people; some of whom I was introduced to last time (it's a biennial event). It gets absolutely packed and is hard to make progress from one end to the other. 3 bands playing on 3 stages simultaneously (different styles), food, beer and cocktail stands. One of the bands was the town youth orchestra led by a friend of mine (the guy in the black shirt from the choir video). Last night tonight!
I have worn hats professionally for too long, it's put me off.
Missed you yesterday. No posts 🙁
Oh this email was found in my junk email box, sorry, I didn't put it there 😉 stunningly beautiful link of Green Lake, Whistler, I have heard of Whistler relatives of a late aunt ( by marriage) had relatives near there, I remember the name of the lake.Canada does look delightful and so does the seaplane.
Excuse me, some woman ( who could be me) is in great
peril over hot oil and not only have you not yet rescued her
but you are talking of custard ( did you know custard is
American, LP told me it was so.)
I expect a Major James Bigglesworth type rescue, full of intrigue and danger ( for you) you can use an aircraft, he'd
expect it, being a fine gentleman and hero like him assuming you're up to it ;-D
The villains were quite amusing characters in those days
you cannot beat those from the USSR.
As far as the police and vicars are concerned, there probably were dodgy ones when we were children its just that everything is out in the open now.
But generally the past was a more gentle time and people
were more kind and respectful I think.
Well I suppose if you've worn hats professionally for sooooo very long I might let you off ;-D
In your 'junk email box'? From me? How cheeky!
'Beautiful BC' is what you written see all the time. I love British Columbia and the locals are very proud to be sharing the beauty with you. This is where I did my seaplane rating http://oceanair.ca/ I had a brilliant time flying around visiting little lakes, bays, inlets, fishing lodges etc. etc. As my instructor said: with a floatplane you are flying in the scenery, not above it.
That woman is probably burnt to a crisp by now; with all that boiling oil being poured on her. Despite valiant attempts by the heroic silent_pilot she succumbed dur to lack of answering of posts. 🙁 So he had fritters and custard to console himself. Custard is American? Everything I've ever read or heard says French.
James Bigglesworth rescue, you're hoping aren't you? I'd be there making like a tree; no dashing character, me… 😀
There's a lot to be said for living in the past https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsCyC1dZiN8
The internet age is certainly bringing lots of things out into the open. Not necessarily all for the best.
I'll get over your lack of activity somehow… 🙁
Just a quick one darling, your Biggles type rescue of
'burned to a crisp lady' would have left the children who read
those books in tears. You are heroic and modest, but some magic
please, remember logic will just take you from A to B but your
Imagination will take you to all sorts of places but no giant snakes
darling x
PS I sent you another post or two before going to sleep last night
hope you got them, computer wasnt too helpful, speak to you In
a while.. I suppose your still sleeping maybe.
A quick one since you're in 'Stealth mode' https://matadornetwork.com/notebook/19-amazing-english-words-weve-totally-forgotten/
The above a link of Usk, was having huge problems with it and the second is Minchinhampton
Ah, this is the elusive second link, of minchinhampton.. computer playing up ;-(
Friends of mine got married not far from there last year at the Hare and Hounds nr Tetbury. I was Best Man and on my best behaviour.
What was that ? " I was Best Man and on my best behaviour"
Oh look is that a pig flying by ? the price of bacons gone up
and that was a massive porkie you've just told, a whopper 😉
I really was on my best behaviour, practically sober too! Running round trying to find the bride for 'yet another' picture. I think I only had about 3 beers, total and some wine with the meal.
Good morning, hope your not suffering from a hangover and respond to the post above
that I sent yesterday, it'll be refreshing dear one 😉
I generally shake hands, its the English thing to do, maternal grandfather was half- Italian
they generally hug a lot but in England its hand shakes, a reserved country. you don't feel comfortable hugging in the UK, maybe its the difference between a damp, cold climate
and warm Mediterranean climate, hey maybe the weather has a influence on characters.
I kiss the cheeks of elderly relatives but generally squeeze arms of those I know.
I've had relatives in the Ludlow and Much Wenlock area, spent an awful lot of time there,
love Shropshire and the Welsh border towns. Further down I am also familiar with
Herefordshire and spent a lot of time in Usk ( South Wales where my favourite aunt had
a pub and we used stay in the summer nr Coed y Paen, btw know Long Mynd very well.
Maybe the ghost was scared of me.. I scared the life out of it, maybe 😉
Our tourist industry relies heavily on our ' historic haunted legacies' the Americans and
Japanese come especially for that. You know haunted, houses, pubs, castles and
stately homes, we've even got a haunted road or two.
We are generally level headed about that sort of stuff but Americans are a bit strange,
they apparently believe we have ' spiritual guides' that follow us around in life, now
I find that weird.
Hope you have a nice day babes.
The choir had a meal together before the summer break. No hangover to report, but the next couple of nights might be hectic with the fest in town. My music teacher is playing tonight, so I'll be there to watch. Meeting up with fr
The Welsh borders and Herefordshire are beautiful parts of the country that I had to travel through a few times for work. Been to Betws y Coed a few times for adventure training including climbing Snowdon and Tryfan.
The temperament of the peoples of the Mediterranean countries is certainly different to those North of the Alps. But, then again, each country seems to have their own characteristics.
I found many Americans to be really friendly when I lived there; but there was the odd loudmouth pouring forth about Northern Ireland and clearly knew nothing about it. The thing is that the British have a long history compared to the Americans so all that Olde Worlde stuff goes down a treat. Have you ever seen this guy? A friend who knows him said that he got told off, but he is hilarious. I think it was an American that filmed it. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DeiW_bWZ2Is
I don't know why the Japanese love Europe so much? They have lots of history, beautiful architecture and I think their gardens are something to behold.
Hope your day is as good as it possibly can be.
Do you like the surrounding smaller islands that make up the United Kingdom.
Such as Shetland, the Isle of White, the Isle of Man, the Isle of Rum etc
Know Betws y Coed very well. I might have bumped into you without knowing it was you 😉
Indeed we are all individual regardless of what European country we come from.
they say Norwegians are the happiest apparently, The Spanish most relaxed.
and those from Iceland are most depressed. I am used to the Netherlands and Italy more then any other European country.
Japan looks amazing in photos, like another world, yet as you say they love Europe.
Americans do a general tour of the UK which usually involves: Bath, London, Chester, Stratford and Edinburgh. The thing that always amazes me about the US is that just a few
hundred years ago they were just a pioneering and yet are now one of the most powerful
countries in the world. We stopped being so at the end of the discovering, colonial period.
And no I've never heard of that man in the video before, how amusing .
Totally disagree with 10. a radler is a raped beer
There is only one thing worse than a radler. It's called alcohole free radler, which is a double raped "beer"
With the exception of Ork-regions that belongs to Mordor, Radler is really called Alster.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Written on: 10/09/2013 by DaveyT12 (0 reviews written)
My family and I rented a villa in La Manga Club Resort for a week in July. It is expensive but if you want fine dining and constant luxury then this is definitely the place to go.
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As rated by our community of reviewers
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text:
Live updates
Police video to help motorcyclists prevent thefts
West Midlands Police have released a short video giving motorcyclists helpful tips on how to prevent their motorbikes from being stolen over the winter period.
The police say that many motorbikes are targeted over the winter months as owners put them away for the season due to the adverse weather conditions.
The video, made by Dudley Police, gives members of the public an insight into how easy it is to steal a motorbike, and how easy it is to prevent a theft by following a few simple crime prevention tips.
Derby man charged with sexual offences
A Derby man has been charged in connection with sexual offences that took place near a school earlier this year.
Robi Sturges, 23, was charged with two counts of sexual assault and one offence of sexual exposure against three girls aged between 11 and 16-years-old.
The offences took place near to Murray Park Community School, Mickleover, between April and June this year.
He allegedly touched two girls over their clothing and exposed himself to another. Mr Sturges will now appear at Southern Derbyshire Magistrates' Court on Friday, November 8.
Woman wasted 177 hours of police time, at a £4k cost
A woman from Sileby in Leicestershire has pleaded guilty to wasting 177 hours of police time with a cost of at least £4,000 to Leicestershire Police.
Maureen Stork, 55, was arrested in September for causing a public nuisance after she was reported to be walking in the road outside of her house and obstructing vehicles.
Police had also been called to the property on several separate occasions after reports that Stork had cut off her hand and that she had fallen down the stairs, breaking her neck. Both reports turned out to be untrue.
She pleaded guilty to five counts of wasting police time and one count of obstructing a highway at Loughborough Magistrates Court on Monday and received a 36 month conditional discharge.
Would-be burglar caught on CCTV
West Midlands Police are appealing for help after a suspected would-be burglar was scared off by a neighbour in Wolverhampton this week.
The man was captured on a neighbour's security camera as he walked along Mount Road in the Penn area of the city at around 4:40pm on Monday afternoon.
Detective Sergeant Nicki Addison, from Wolverhampton CID, said: "Thankfully a burglary was not committed because the thief ran away after being shouted at by the occupier from an upstairs window."
"But we clearly need to find the person responsible as they are still out there and could be attempting to commit other offences."
"If anyone recognises the man in the images I would urge them to get in touch as soon as possible."
Anyone who can assist the investigation should contact DS Addison and her team at Wolverhampton CID on 101 or the independent charity Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
Sandwell Police see burglary crackdown success
Sandwell Police say they have arrested 45 people for burglary and vehicle crime since the start of a new operation to crackdown on offenders in the West Midlands area.
Operation Olympia, which began in October and will now continue throughout the winter, is focusing on handlers of stolen goods and looks to arrest those responsible for burglary and vehicle crime.
Neighbourhood officers are offering forensic property marking kits to local residents and encouraging everyone in the borough to register mobile phones and gadgets on a national database called 'Immobilise'.
This operation has proven to have a significant impact amongst people who commit crime in Sandwell. We want offenders and their associates to remember that it will not be tolerated and we will do everything that we can to bring them to justice.
Three men wanted over attack on wedding party
Nine members of a wedding party were injured when they were attacked outside a Birmingham city centre bar.
Detectives have now released CCTV pictures of three men wanted in connection with the fracas, which happened outside Mechu bar in Summer Row.
One man suffered a cracked rib while several other guests were bruised when they were set upon by a group of around 15 people.
Det Cons Pete Gee, from Force CID, said officers had been ploughing through CCTV from September 22 to try to discover what exactly happened that night - and urged anyone who recognises the three men in the images to come forward.
It's amazing nobody was more seriously injured during this disturbance which involved a large number of people.
We've been closely scrutinising CCTV footage for several weeks in an attempt to establish exactly what happened that night and we have identified three individuals we want to trace.
One of the men was Asian, around 5ft 11ins tall with short black hair, and was around 21 or 22. The second man was white, aged between 22 and 24 and was the same height; while the third man was shorter, aged between 25 and 30 and was wearing a dark grey blazer.
Police hunt attacker after stabbing in Nottinghamshire
A manhunt has been launched by Nottinghamshire Police after a 21-year-old was stabbed in the early hours of today.
The victim was attacked at around 1.15am in Long Lane, Carlton-in-Lindrick. He was taken to Doncaster Royal Infirmary.
Police this afternoon said he remains in a "serious but stable" condition.
Long Lane has been closed while investigations continue.
Teenage boy threatened and robbed on Birmingham bus
A man believed to have threatened a teenage boy and stolen his phone on a Birmingham bus is being hunted by police.
Officers from West Midlands Police have today released CCTV footage of the suspect, after the 19-year-old was targeted on the X64 bus in Bristol Street.
The thief, described as black and in his 20s, then got off the bus and ran off with the boy's Samsung phone.
Det Cons Kelly Hill, from Birmingham CID, appealed for anyone who recognises the man to come forward.
The teenager wasn't hurt but was threatened by the man and left shaken by what happened.
We hope that by releasing the image someone may recognise the man and provide us with some information about him.
The robbery happened shortly after 9pm on September 27.
Thieves target 17 cars in nighttime crime spree
Seventeen cars have been damaged and broken into in a crime spree overnight in Nottingham.
Sat navs, CDs, wallets and personal documents were stolen from the cars, which were all parked in and around the Aspley and Bells Lane areas.
The thieves targeted cars in Welstead Avenue, Arklow Close, Dulverton Vale, Surbiton Square and Munford Circus.
Insp Gordon Fenwick called the crimes "unacceptable" and appealed for witnesses or anyone with information to come forward.
"To wake up on a Sunday morning only to find that a window to your vehicle has been smashed and things stolen from inside is a shock," he said.
"The aftermath of having to pay out to get things repaired can drag on for days or weeks – something that the people who did this just don't care about. It is unacceptable."
Wanted man implicated in attack may be in Midlands
A man being hunted by police for attacking two people in Milton Keynes may be in the Midlands.
Darren Levy, aged 31, is wanted for attacking a man and a woman outside a Tesco Express store in the Walnut Tree area of the city, using a dog chain to attack the woman and fracturing her jaw.
He is also wanted on recall to prison.
Police believe he could be in the Northamptonshire or West Midlands areas.
They have warned anyone who thinks they have seen him not to approach him but to let them know immediately.


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Student Media
Health Services text reminders
Monday, July 2, 2012
Students can elect to receive Student Health Services appointment reminders via text message.
Reminder messages, which debuted in July, are a free, opt-in service. Sign up at myhealthservices.stcloudstate.edu or call 320-308-3193. Students must provide a cell phone number and cell phone carrier.
A reminder is sent two hours before the appointment time. Included in the reminder is a prompt to arrive 15 minutes prior to the appointment time.
As always, students who cannot keep an appointment, or need to reschedule, should call the appointment desk at 320-308-3193.
Also effective in July, Student Health Services is charging a $15 missed appointment fee to patients who miss more than two appointments. Health insurance companies do not cover missed appointment fees.
University Communications
St. Cloud State University


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Checking Accounts
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The monthly maintenance will be waived for Students until June 15th of the year following their 18th birthday, or while pursuing studies at a post-secondary school. The monthly maintenance fee will be waived for active-duty Military members. Please contact us after age 18 with your Student ID / Military Service Papers, and annually thereafter.
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