text: %%%%%% Do NOT link directly to strips containing sex and/or nudity. %% Do NOT put SFW after links. All links on this page should be safe for work.%% Putting that abbreviation implies we allow NSFW links.%%%%[[quoteright:180:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Oglaf_4596.PNG]][[caption-width-right:180:This [[http://www.oglaf.com/goodship/ will not end well.]]]]->''"This comic started as an attempt to make pornography. It degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately. Even so, there are some things depicted that are best kept away from children and work. Please click on the button below to certify you're over 18. Of course, if you ''are'' under 18, you can't legally certify anything. So if you're a minor, please get a parent to click the button which says you aren't. Thank you. ([[AltText Taking moral advice from cartoon characters is probably a bad idea.]])"''-->-- Opening disclaimer''[[http://www.oglaf.com/ Oglaf]]'' is an often seriously {{NSFW}} webcomic by Trudy Cooper and Doug Bayne. Most of the episodes (called "stories") are single non-sequential pages, though some stretch out longer; the very first one was eight pages long. The comic started out as a gag-a-week work, but slowly started including longer {{Story Arc}}s, most of the time focusing on Ivan and his never-ending torment at the hands of Mistress and Sandoval, the Ambassador of Xoan. In addition to this there were the misadventures of Navaan, a sex-starved vampire who became a BackAlleyDoctor, and Grier, a no-nonsense lesbian mercenary. These arcs appeared to be (very) slowly coming together into a single overarching plot until [[AbortedArc they didn't]] and the series went back to its gag-a-week format.Just a note: Click "Next page" to see [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin the next page of a story. "Next story" to see the next story.]] The last page of each story has a small diagonal cutout at the bottom right-hand corner. Also, some stories have an epilogue that is behind a separate link.Most strips are very, ''very'' NSFW; the strips that ''are'' work-safe are the ones slapped with a warning label. However, the comic also features many gags that are quite innocuous or just "immature".'''Definitely''' not to be confused with [[{{Disney/Frozen}} Olaf]], or [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Olaf One-Eye]].[[folder:Recurring characters]]These include (but aren't limited to):* '''Mistress''': A cruel dictator, with some very serious magical powers, usually busy either ruling her nation (which mostly consists of appeasing allies and receiving tributes from neighbors) or finding new ways to torture her slaves. When she's not doing either, she torments Ivan for giggles.* '''Ivan''': Mistress' sorcery apprentice and the ostensible protagonist. Not allowed to have sex (or even wank) under castle regulations. To make sure he doesn't get distracted from that rule, Mistress cursed him with walking, talking semen. [[spoiler:As of 5/22/11, [[PutOnABus in a magical]] [[ConvenientComa sleep]].]] * '''Sandoval''': The Ambassador of Xoan. Staying with Mistress as a political guest (and apparently one she wants to please), he sexually harasses Ivan whenever he's bored. He also seems to be sexually attracted to food, especially desserts.* '''Cumsprites''': Ivan's walking, talking (or more accurately, running and yelling) semen, which runs to Mistress and tattles whenever released, regardless of how it happened. * '''[[AllThereInTheManual Greir]]''': An [[ComicallySerious ultra-serious]] female adventurer who serves as something of an OnlySaneMan to the rest of the cast. Having not been named in-comic, she's also known as the Lesbian Mercenary. She's considered "impervious to fun," although she does enjoy victory.* '''Navaan''': A female vampire. She captures Ivan in Vanorva with the intent to kill him, but soon finds him useful for... [[DatingCatwoman other things]]. [[spoiler:Later escaped Vanorva and set herself up as a "doctor," despite having no idea what that is.]]* '''Oglaf''': A farm boy. TheChosenOne, although chosen for ''what'', we're not sure. * '''Ponce de Leon & assistant''': Two adventurers in search of the Fountain of Youth. [[spoiler:They haven't been seen since the Fountain of Girl incident.]]* '''The Snow Queen''': The personification of Winter. Satisfying her is necessary for Winter to end and for Spring to start. Greir gladly takes up the challenge.* '''Kronar''', [[ManlyGay Son of Man]]: A mighty barbarian warrior with rigid, unfailing honor. His tribe is made up of [[HomosexualReproduction men who breed with one another]].* '''Vanka''': A female thief. She's exceptionally clever, light-fingered and voluptuous, and has no qualms about using her sexuality to get her way.* '''The Dwarves''': Three little men with bad teeth, limited fukken epic vocabularies, and lunatic enthusiasm for creating bizarre and fukken awesome magical items.* '''Morag the Immortal''': A female religious warrior who, true to her name, is immortal. She will fight for any religion, and [[spoiler:loses her entire body save for the head]] doing so.* '''Thessaly and Tristram''': A pair of princes who are the sons of a [[TheCaligula mad king]] and lament having to satisfy his absurd whims. Their world runs on fairy tale logic, so WideEyedIdealist Tristam tends to come out ahead, much to the disgust of his sane-but-sardonic brother.* '''The talking fox''': A tricky and sometimes helpful fox with a wall-eyed stare and perpetual grin.* '''Mistertique''': A masked super-hero like character who represents the masculine mystique. Enjoys setting women up to want to have sex with him, then leaving before doing the deed. * '''Blonde girl with the hat''': A yet-unnamed character who enjoys teasing others. She appears to be part of Vanka's crew, as she was incarcerated with her and they enjoyed a spirited rapport.* '''Wish Dolly''': A talking doll with the ability to grant wishes. JackassGenie extraordinaire.* '''The King from Skulls!''': A warrior king, prone to shouting and abusing his men to satisfy capricious whims. A recurring CourtMage has appeared with him* '''The King from A Very Deep Chasm''': Longtime member of the HeirClubForMen. He has appeared with a recurring courtier who is obsessed with labyrinths, and offers to build one at the slightest provocation.* '''The Curse Spectre''': A skeletal apparition who uses his "curses" to make people's lives miserable. First seen in a crypt on the watch for adventurers who'd attempt to defile it, he has since gone on to a number of other ventures that allow him to reach (and annoy) more people such as running a curse emporium, installing himself as town mayor, or distributing fake spells via chain mail.* '''King Blowjob''': '{{Cursed|WithAwesome}}' to be the best at blowjobs (or literally {{Blessed With|Suck}} [[JustForPun Suck]]?), he now rules over a 'peaceful fellatiocracy'.* '''Followers of Sithrak''' : Disciples of Sithrak who go around preaching his word, though they usually succeed in making asses of themselves.* '''Sithrak''' : An [[spoiler:allegedly]] wrathful god that, [[spoiler:at least according to his disciples,]] will torture everyone when they die, regardless of moral standing. [[spoiler:Turns out that he was very angry when he wrote that part, and no longer feels compelled to do such.]]* '''God''' : A parody of {{God}} (playing with stories in the Genesis and the Old Testament, and he might actually be the [[http://oglaf.com/bitterfruit/ God of Reverse Psychology]] even though for a different color scheme). Actually gets blackmailed once in granting victory to a warring side when they threaten him with gay sex, and [[ItMakesSenseInContext starting a slug stud farm]], and caused the Genesis' [[http://oglaf.com/parenting/ flood]] by leaving on vacation with the water on, trying to pass it as a SecretTestOfCharacter.* '''Dominatrix''' : A large and muscular dominatrix with a knack for using SophisticatedAsHell vocabulary, failing to get her point across when looking for a partner, and getting aroused to climax by refusal. Also an adept of InsaneTrollLogic[=/=]NeverMyFault, when losing a coin toss after betting "heads", she ends up beating her fist down repeatedly, and soon into a pulp until "it becomes tails", proudly stating that "never being wrong is the secret of being right".[[/folder]]Because the site has a SFW "Do you really want to see this content?" page, we allow links to the site, but '''do not link directly to NSFW comics'''.----!!''Oglaf'' provides examples of the following tropes:[[foldercontrol]][[folder: A-B]]* AbortedArc: Oglaf, Ivan, the Mistress, and their associated characters and plots pretty much disappeared less than halfway through the comic's run. Oglaf has returned recently, though there still doesn't seem to be any sort of indication that he'll actually get around to ''doing'' anything of note.* AbsoluteCleavage: ** Mistress' outfits frequently go this route, and that's at their tamest. ** Vanka likewise. As seen in several strips, it's mainly for ease of access.* AcquiredPoisonImmunity: Of course, [[http://oglaf.com/naturalcauses/ when your job is as a poison-screening taste tester,]] such a quality may be good for your life but not your career.* ActionGirl: ** The adventurer Greir of [[http://www.oglaf.com/meltwater/ Meltwater]], Reward, Solstice and [[http://www.oglaf.com/ravine/ Ravine]].** Kronar's "son" is able to tear apart wolves with her bare hands...a few minutes after being born.* ActionSurvivor: Ivan, out of necessity... [[spoiler:until he's put in the magical coma. May still qualify, since the spell was apparently intended to kill him.]]* AesopAmnesia: [[http://oglaf.com/swordmaster/1/ Despite being told to do things piece by piece]], the Sword Master's apprentice doesn't learn his lesson even after winning a fight with it. '''[[DopeSlap SLAP!]]'''* AllAreEqualInDeath: The god [[http://oglaf.com/sithrak/ Sithrak]] will supposedly treat everyone equally, by torturing them forever. [[spoiler:He was very angry when he wrote that.]]* AllThatGlitters: In "Delivery" this was used to {{subvert|edTrope}} SaveThePrincess. The hero still gets to [[StandardHeroReward marry the prince]] in the end.-->Don't you see? The princess was you all along!* AllMenArePerverts[=/=]AllWomenAreLustful: Considering the page quote, it should be no surprise that it's that kind of world, but there are a few exceptions. Notably, Greir seems to be more focused on other matters and Morag the Immortal only succumbs to this when mesmerized by the [[spoiler:Funsnake]].* ALoveToDismember: [[http://oglaf.com/salome/1/ Salome]] is still at it apparently.** She did that ''[[NeverLiveItDown once]]''! It was ''years'' ago!*** [[spoiler: [[http://oglaf.com/salome/epilogue/ Oh really]]...?]]* AltText: Please note that each strip has not only an ALT text but also a TITLE text, both different. Which one you see when mousing over it is dependent on your browser -- Google Chrome, for example, shows the Alt. Text. Only for the first few comics (which possibly didn't have Alt. Text) does the Title Text show up.* AmazonBrigade:** The Mistress' female guards in their revealing outfits.** The women in [[http://oglaf.com/glamazon-way/ The Glamazon Way]].* AmazingTechnicolourPopulation: The Land of Indulgence has one.** This also happens with the couple who attempt to have sex "garishly".* AndIMustScream:** A wizard who transforms himself into a leather catsuit, and starts being eaten by a goat.** The 'statues' in "Pork Chisel", who are apparently [[RapeAsComedy being rented out]] by the guy who [[TakenForGranite turned them to stone]] in the first place.* AnimalNemesis: [[http://oglaf.com/ahoy/ This]] strip has an entire ship of obsessive hunters who are hunting the great white whale which took their legs.* AnthropomorphicPersonification: Of winter, obviously, but also of many more abstract concepts...most of which involve having sex with them. (It's that kind of world).** One character eventually seeks winter out to [[http://oglaf.com/retribution/ kill her for causing his parents to freeze to death.]] After failing to take her out ([[TooKinkyToTorture and her misunderstanding his intentions]]), he winds up having meeting with (and having sex with most of) the personifications of justice, enlightenment, hope, nostalgia, regret, inevitability, allegory itself, easy answers, and the [[OverlyLongGag birthday]] gibbon. Unsurprisingly, he's sick of the whole thing by the end of it.* AnythingThatMoves: And quite a few things that don't (or can't).* ArtEvolution: Compare the character art in [[http://www.oglaf.com/cumsprite/3/ one of the earliest strips]] to [[http://oglaf.com/rapunzel/3/ one not that much later]]. Notice the difference in both outlining and shading, as well as character proportions. * ArmorIsUseless: Which is why the orc army is adopting new {{Stripperiffic}} [[http://oglaf.com/newmodelarmy/ uniform standards.]] * ArtifactOfAttraction: Mistress' magic box that makes you desperately desire whatever's kept in it. She uses it to trick the Apprentice into utterly debasing himself with the Xoan Ambassador in exchange for a pinecone, only for [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone the effect to wear off]] the moment he takes it out of the box.* {{Asexuality}}: The [[StarfishAliens very-alien]] [[DeadlyDoctor 'doctors']], though it doesn't stop them using some very [[OrificeInvasion invasive]] treatments.** On the other hand, they consider sexual inexperience to be a life-threatening medical condition ([[{{Foreshadowing}} and maybe have a point]]). [[BlueAndOrangeMorality Blue And Orange Sexuality]], perhaps?* AssInAmbassador: Sandoval, who is no worse than Mistress but at least she is no ambassador. * AssShove: With a fire wand, no less.* AwesomeMomentOfCrowning: [[spoiler:[[CursedWithAwesome Remember that guy from]] [[http://oglaf.com/gifted/ Gifted]]? [[http://oglaf.com/gifted2/ He's that good]]]]* BadassBoast: Vanka makes two (both about sex, and one with the accomplishment to match) in fingers.* BaldWomen: The succubi. Also {{Horny Devil}}s.* BarbarianHero: Kronar is a ManlyGay version.* TheBaroness: The Mistress is definitely a Sexpot, but depending on who you are (i.e. a [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday very straight]] guy), her intentions might be nasty, placing her under the Rosa Klebb variety.* BearsAreBadNews: Especially if they're [[http://www.oglaf.com/ulric/ Devil Bears]] or [[http://www.oglaf.com/northerner/ Flatbears!]] (Though normal bears are [[http://www.oglaf.com/frog-3/ already]] [[http://www.oglaf.com/queenspring/ bad]] [[http://www.oglaf.com/brackenwife/ enough.]])** [[http://oglaf.com/roughtrade/ Magical talking bear prostitutes]] ([[spoiler:they don't actually know what "prostitute" means]])* BeastInTheMaze: In the comic "The Labyrinth", a royal advisor is obsessed with building the king a labyrinth, which the King just gets annoyed by. Then someone walks in to inform the king that his wife has birthed a monster, to which the advisor begins smiling.* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor:** In "Vorpal Blade", it turns out that having a cock enchanted so that it makes a woman orgasm instantly is not all it's cracked up to be, since it means that sex is also over instantly. [[CantHaveSexEver The guy cannot even get any satisfaction otherwise]], since ''any'' touching of his cock causes orgasm (and then sleep) in any body part that touches it, [[CursedWithAwesome including his own]]. Even walls and buildings fall apart when he tries to hump them for relief.** A plain young woman wished on the Wish Dolly for beauty, and is now [[SoBeautifulItsACurse so beautiful]] that guys are too intimidated to bed her.* BedTrick:** Planned in "Cornwalling", but then rejected in favor of a [[GenderBender more practical]] alternative. ** Also attempted in "Homecoming", but there was a change in plans.* TheBerserker: Suffers cruel discrimination in "The Pink Haze."* BestialityIsDepraved:** "[[http://oglaf.com/husbandry/1/ Husbandry]]" treats this rather matter-of-factly.** "Hot Dots" has a man giving an explanation for why he fucked an ocelot. A guard gives him a [[{{Beat}} look]] before telling him he still has to go to jail.** "[[http://oglaf.com/notches/ So I will seduce... the crocodile!]]"* BewareTheSillyOnes: Just when you begin to think Mistress rules through nothing more than sexual deviance, odd devices, and a lot of willing retainers, [[http://www.oglaf.com/undercroft/1/ this happens]].* {{BFS}}: Possibly the only ''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin literal]]'' example.* BiggerIsBetterInBed: Averted in "Heterogeneous". The fair maiden in question seems relieved rather than disappointed when a centaur turns out to be endowed like a human instead of hung like a... well, you know.* BigNo: Believers in [[GodIsEvil Sithrak]] have good reason to [[http://oglaf.com/outreach/ take deaths especially hard]]. [[spoiler:Only not really.]]* BizarreNonhumanBiology: {{Inverted|Trope}} and PlayedForLaughs with the shapeshifters. Most of their jokes stem from the fact that while they can mimic human appearance expertly, they have no idea how human biology actually ''works''. * BizarreSexualDimorphism: {{Inverted|Trope}} in ''Dimorphism'', where all females of all sentient species look the same while the males are all different... except for humans, whose males look disturbingly similar to the females. [[InsaneTrollLogic It must be some bizarre perversion]], so KillAllHumans!* BlackComedyRape: Of all genders and species, by all genders and species. (Again; it's that kind of world.)* TheBlank: The most beautiful fairy of all.* BlessedWithSuck:** Oglaf, the chosen one, has the power to... ejaculate in the form of words. Too bad he can't read. Later, we learn that he causes volcanic eruptions whenever he ejaculates while having sex, though they appear to be (somehow) nonlethal and relatively harmless.** Perhaps ''the'' most literal example [[http://oglaf.com/gifted/ we'll ever find]]--a man "cursed" to be the best at blowjobs, despite never having done one before. He eventually makes use of it to [[ItMakesSenseInContext defeat an invading army to become King]].** Later on we meet a man who thanks to [[JackassGenie Wish Dolly]] has the ability to make anyone he penetrates orgasm instantly...and fall asleep. As you might imagine, he's quite sexually frustrated.*** The latter two eventually meet. HilarityEnsues. * BlindingBangs: The goat-herder girl and Ivan's [[spoiler:temporary replacement]].* BodyguardBabes: The Mistress's soldiers. * BooksThatBite: The Book of Love. At least, it tries to eat parts of Ivan...* BraidsOfAction: Greir has the paired variety, hanging down from either side of her head. Interestingly, only her bangs are braided this way, the rest of her hair hangs freely. * BreadEggsMilkSquick: With a dash of ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne.-->'''Sexbakery Vendor:''' Have you tried our [[BestialityIsDepraved horse bukkake]] carob muffins?\\'''Customer:''' Eww... carob.* BrickJoke:** The wizard that transformed in "Cornwalling" reappears in a similar position in a more recent comic.** When Ivan refuses to go for the offered antidote and instead threatens to tell everyone that Sandoval poisoned him in "Premature Requiem", Sandoval sees this as romantic and offers him a locket as evidence instead. In "Infffirmary", we see two other patients showing similar symptoms to Ivan's, clutching lockets. Busy night, ambassador?** Ivan's tattletale jizz turned into one on at least two occasions. On a third occasion, [[spoiler:Navaan is disappointed when someone else's fails to do so.]]* BunglingInventor: The dwarves, at least in the opinion of everyone else. The dwarves seem to be satisfied with the outcomes.* TheBusCameBack: Oglaf, the seldom seen title character, made a new appearance in the comic after over half a decade's absence.* {{Buttmonkey}}: '''Ivan'''. His life is a never-ending series of humiliations by Mistress, the Xoan ambassador, and...well, pretty much everyone in the castle. [[/folder]][[folder: C-E]]* CallBack: The portrait of the Mistress being painted later shows up in the room of tributes, flying skulls, severed cocks and all.* CannotKeepASecret: [[http://oglaf.com/undercroft/ Used]] as a SpoofAesop.* CantHaveSexEver: Ivan [[http://www.oglaf.com/cumsprite/5/ isn't even allowed to masturbate]], lest he gets in trouble. He did find a way around it, though.* CassandraTruth: ''Lapidary'' has the owner of the fortress claim his jism is priceless in an obvious attempt to hook up with the lady thief. Turns out said jism actually ''is'' priceless, as its made up of rubies.* CatFight: When Vanka meets Greir in "The Rogue's Arsenal". Humorously, they both agree to skip the boring part at the beginning and go [[GirlOnGirlIsHot straight to the sex]].* CaughtWithYourPantsDown: Not that Sticklebark actually wears pants.* ChainmailBikini: It shows up, naturally, from time to time, usually to be gleefully mocked.** Parodied in ''[[http://oglaf.com/breastplate/ Breastplate]]''. Note the chest armor of the scowling woman beside him averts this trope.** Played straight in ''[[http://oglaf.com/glamazon-way/ The Glamazon Way]]''.** Justified in the NSFW strip ''Appeal to Heaven'', where warriors (male and female) wear slutty armor to gain the favor of a goddess of war and sex.-->"Mighty goddess of sex and war, grant me victory in battle! For I am wearing armour, but it is very slutty armour indeed!"** Treated as the logical conclusion of ArmorIsUseless in ''[[http://oglaf.com/newmodelarmy/ New Model Army]]''...[[FanDisservice by a tribe of orcs]]. * CharacterizationMarchesOn: Greir's thing now appears to be that she hates fun, and doesn't seem to understand the concept. However, in her earlier appearances, particularly "[[LesYay Meltwater]]," she clearly had at least some idea what it was.* ChekhovsGun: The [[spoiler:Fake Death]] in the Fun God arc.* TheChosenOne: Oglaf, the shepherd boy. It's just too bad he can't read.* ChristmasEpisode: Saturnalia, actually.* CleavageWindow: In ''Oriel'', one is revealed to be an EldritchAbomination. Stare at your peril.-->''[[Creator/FriedrichNietzsche Know that when you stare into the boob window the boob window stares also back]]''* CliffHanger: Rapunzel (resolved in the next week's episode).* ClosetKey: What Greir of the Meltwater arc has become for the Snow Queen evidently. * CloudCuckooLander:** Many characters in the comic suffer from minor cases of crazy (with poor Ivan as the OnlySaneMan).** The Xoan ambassador seems to be a very definite case.** Navaan seems to have taken the spotlight for this. Fruit Viking, anyone?* ClusterFBomb: [[http://www.oglaf.com/stalker/2/ Fucking fuckers.]] (Safe aside from the bombs.) This and building ridiculous sex toys is pretty much all the dwarves in the strip do.* ComicallyIneptHealing: Navaan claims to be a doctor, but her healing methods include such questionable practices as putting an acorn in the stump of an amputated limb and stuffing it with dirt, which she thinks will grow a new limb.* ComicallyMissingThePoint: One of the disciples of Sithrak dies and goes to meet his god -- who tells him that the eternity of torture isn't going to happen and returns him to life so he can tell everyone to stop freaking out about it. The disciple tells his impressed friend that Sithrak is more evil than they realized -- he plays mind games on humanity too.* TheComicallySerious: Greir. She has a story arc where she tries to overcome her inadequate grasp of the concept of "fun."* ComicSutra: The list of "the slut's" grotesque and amazing talents includes "combat ejaculation", "self-saucing ([[UpToEleven 7 flavors!]])", and "flang." This culminated in a literal comic sutra, "Ivan and Navaan's 'Doesn't Count' Kama Sutra," which illustrated sexual positions that allowed the participants to remain {{Technical Virgin}}s. Published as a bonus to the graphic novel.** "Slodging", on the other hand, is shown on-panel. [[spoiler: It's the sex act of getting stuck in things.]]* TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong: Played for laughs in "[[http://oglaf.com/goldensongbird/2/ The Golden Songbird]]"; the gullible brother Tristam runs off with the Talking Fox to find the Golden Songbird, while his OnlySaneMan brother Thessaly sulks at the ridiculousness of it all. Naturally, Tristam comes back with the bird, is greeted as a hero and wins his father's favour. Thessaly, annoyed at the smug fox, goes out and buys a pack of hounds.* ContinuityNod: ** In "Infffirmary", you can see two men with masks and lockets.** Ever since "Hilting", Kronar has been depicted [[{{Fingore}} with no fingers]] on one hand.** In "The Golden Songbird", Thessaly states that they need to find a hot princess with a mouth like a sea anemone. Think the [[HumanoidAbomination young lady]] from "Romance" qualifies?* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: ** Inflicted by Mistress on her underlings for various infractions.--->Punitive pearl necklace. Tits out, Captain.** Just before Kronar throws his infant "son" to the wolves, he makes her wear the "Bow of Shame." [[spoiler:The bow survives. The wolves don't.]]** In [[http://oglaf.com/exhale/ "Exhale"]] a man is tied to a torture rack... that contorts a person into yoga positions.--->[[EvilLaugh Ha haa ha haaaaaa!]] Fetch him some [[PaintedOnPants very tight pants]]!* CosmicPlaything: All of the soldiers of the Mistress's guard and the Mistress herself love torturing Ivan. One of the guards then starts to talk about how she finds him cute and decisded to have sex with him. [[http://oglaf.com/shaft/epilogue/ She is killed by the Arrow of Regret shortly after she proclaims that.]]* CrapsackWorld: Sexy, but crapsack.* CrazyPrepared: ** [[http://www.oglaf.com/chasm/ This guy]], although he probably shouldn't have revealed it.** Vanka, who even booby-traps [[spoiler:her own vagina]] in "The Rogue's Arsenal".* CryingWolf: [[http://www.oglaf.com/wolf/ The wolf got him]]. * CunningLikeAFox: The {{Trickster}} {{Talking|Animal}} Fox with a disarmingly stupid-looking perpetual grin.* CursedWithAwesome:** [[http://www.oglaf.com/gifted/1/ Literally cursed to give the best fellatio in the world.]] If he starts giving fellatio, he risks [[NeverLiveItDown being known as that one guy who is really good at fellatio]]; if he does not start, [[MortonsFork then he will live knowing he has an awesome talent that goes to waste]]. [[spoiler:[[BrickJoke Once he uses his talent]], [[AwesomeMomentOfCrowning he becomes king]].]]** Another fellow goes to the same curse-giving wraith (who [[VillainsOutShopping actually owns his own]] [[BazaarOfTheBizarre Curse Shop]]) in an attempt to {{invoke|dTrope}} and {{exploit|edTrope}} this trope. Guess the creature's rep for accidentally-beneficial curses got around...* CuteLittleFangs: [[http://www.oglaf.com/nightfall/ Navaan]]. Her friends also have them, though "cute" may be stretching it a bit when paired with {{Slasher Smile}}s...* TheCutie: The Snow Queen. Especially [[http://www.oglaf.com/justice/1/ here]].* CutenessProximity: Servants of the Mistress who fail to do what they're told tend to either die or wish they had. Her response to seeing her infant horror ''try'' to rampage, however, is, "Hahaha! Look at it go!"* DangerouslyShortSkirt: Grier.* ADateWithRosiePalms: Ivan the Apprentice, constantly, even though for the longest time he was forbidden even this. He managed to find a way to beat the system though. ''Oglaf'' may be the only thing that's not ''Film/AmericanPie'' that managed to turn it into an important recurring plot point.* DeadBabyComedy: [[http://oglaf.com/chirpnmutter/ What happens when a necromancer poses as a priest...]]* DeadlyDisc[=/=]RingsOfDeath: [[http://oglaf.com/glamazon-way/ The Throwing Anus]] (worksafe, as it's just [[Series/XenaWarriorPrincess Xena's]] chakram).* DeadpanSnarker: ** Sandoval's valet/assistant in "Lament."** Greir does this quite a bit.* DeconstructiveParody:** Of CryingWolf, [[http://oglaf.com/wolf/1/ as seen]] on the trope page. ** Of the AndroclesLion (specifically, the Kindly Hunter variation), [[http://www.oglaf.com/kindlyhunter/1/ here]]. * DeconstructorFleet: The one-off strips especially tend to mock fantasy cliches, porn cliches, or both, but can even get into mocking abstract concepts like gendered language (or abstract concepts in general).* DepravedHomosexual: Ambassador Sandoval of Xoan, so very much.* DistractedByTheSexy: ** A very fortunate example in "Snakeskin". Though apparently it makes something else turn to stone.** Another example is "Lassie"; this one not so lucky.* DistractedByMyOwnSexy: Navaan's hideout is filled with her own grinning Fake Death corpses, stripped naked and [[ScrewYourself posed with each other]].--->'''Navaan:''' Ehehe... this must look pretty vain, doesn't it?* DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm: The shapeshifter trying to pay off Greir, although, from what we've seen, it's likely it's not ''just'' him.* DopeSlap: [[http://oglaf.com/swordmaster/1/ The Sword Master]]. [[AltText "He's also a bit of a slapmaster."]] He returns in the "Punching above Your Weight" story... and he, [[RunningGag of course]], {{Dope Slap}}s his apprentice again in it.* DungeonBypass: [[http://oglaf.com/failsafe/1/ Nobody expects the labyrinth's guardian to escape.]] * EarWorm: In-universe example: [[http://www.oglaf.com/lute/ Lute]].* EldritchAbomination: [[http://oglaf.com/blanket/1/ It's only a nameless horror until you name it]].* EndlessWinter: Winter lasts until the Snow Queen is... satiated. She's not villainous, but is seen as an obstacle.* EnfantTerrible: That is one badass [[http://oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/2/ baby]]. * EnsembleCast: While the majority of the strips star random (and generally attractive) people who never appear again, none of the recurring characters hold any particular prominence over the others. Oglaf is ostensibly the main character, but has only made a handful of appearances since the comic's beginning, and while Ivan the Apprentice received a substantial amount of focus early on, he, his mistress and every character associated with them have been entirely absent for over five years.* EverybodyHasLotsOfSex: In a world where (with a few notable exceptions) AllMenArePerverts and AllWomenAreLustful, this is the obvious result.* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: The Mistress is known only by her title; WordOfGod has it that [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep her name is, in fact, "Mistress."]]. Ivan is generally referred to as "apprentice," and Sandoval is usually just called "the Xoan Ambassador". * EveryoneIsBi: Not quite ''everyone'', but even the ones who aren't tend to be fairly open-minded about it.** ''Memory'' [NSFW] had a character who insists on the terminology "hetero girl-on-girl". Her partner isn't thrilled.* EverythingsBetterWithPrincesses: Subverted like crazy.** Well, it would be, [[http://www.oglaf.com/princess/ but...]]. ** Being an actual princess is bullshit...** Unless you're male; then it's wonderful.* EvilCannotComprehendGood: [[http://oglaf.com/shark/1/ No, my powers work on good people too]].* EvilDetectingDog: [[http://oglaf.com/heel/ Parodied in "Heel".]] [[FaceHeelTurn Unfortunately, he started using his powers for evil]].* ExactWords: [[http://www.oglaf.com/rapunzel/3/ The Mistress doesn't specify what she's saying no to]].* ExpositionFairy: Literally so in the [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin appropriately named]] [[ExpositionFairy "Exposition Fairy".]]* ExtremeOmniGoat: [[http://oglaf.com/catsuit/ They'll even eat catsuits.]] * ExtremeOmnisexual: ** Zeus, even ''more'' so than in the myths. Here, he turns into a golden shower to seduce Danae, but then ''decides he's more attracted to the water in a bucket she's washing herself with''.** The Xoan ambassador has a fling with a tray of... well, not dessert ''now''. He really can't see anyone wanting to eat it anymore.---> Ahh, creme brulee. I have crossed oceans of beef to be with you.* EyesAlwaysShut:** Kronar the barbarian, except when showing rage or shock.** The Mistress occasionally opens her eyes, but seems to have them closed more often than not.* EyeBeams: [[http://www.oglaf.com/badfalcon/ The Mistress's falcon]].* EyepatchOfPower: Vanka's scarf.[[/folder]][[folder: F-I]]* FallingInLoveMontage: Anyone under the influence of the "Potion of Girlfriend" has one of these with a fetching redhead named Felicia.* TheFairFolk: Tall, pale, long flowing hair, pointy ears, beautiful features, capricious nature, lusty, enjoys tormenting mortals... Sandoval is some sort of elven noble, and not the "nice" kind.* AFateWorseThanDeath: Mistress is fond of coming up with these - at least when her laser-falcon doesn't ruin them.* FauxYay: Mistress' guard corps, according to the Lizard of Guilt. Not that it seems to make a difference...* FishEyes: The dwarves are sometimes drawn with these ("Brass Knobs", "tool", "Ring of Bliss", "Cavalcade of Wonders"). Also the talking fox.* FisherKing: The Snow Queen, as satisfying her seems to bring about the start of spring.* FlatEarthAtheist: The Monks of the Temple of Luck believe that the universe was created by random chance, so they worship luck. This is revealed when Morag announces her presence and her affiliation to Sithrak, a god. There have also been sightings of many other gods, all of whom exist somehow.* FlockOfWolves: Shapeshifters assassinate the king... [[RightHandVersusLeftHand who had been replaced by a shapeshifter]] of the same race, which one guy awkwardly recognizes.* FoeRomanceSubtext: In "Burning Jewels of Death", where [[ManlyGay Kronar]] is tied down by another character and his {{mooks}}, demanding Kronar's "submission". Kronar makes his escape through strength and brutality alone, and is [[InLoveWithYourCarnage regarded as magnificent]] for doing so.* FountainOfYouth:** Played with in the strips dedicated to Ponce de Leon's search for said fountain with his dowdy assistant. They eventually do find a magical fountain, only to realize too late it's actually [[spoiler:[[http://www.oglaf.com/fountain-of-girl/1/ the Fountain of Girl]]. Well, at least they were young that way too..]].** There might also be a [[http://www.oglaf.com/fountain-of-doubt/ Fountain of Doubt]], though they're not sure.** Then there's the [[http://www.oglaf.com/fountain-of-death/ Fountain Of Death]]... er, I mean, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Fountain Of Water So Delicious, Even Dead People Want It]].* FridgeBrilliance: An in-universe example from [[http://www.oglaf.com/deincarnation/5/ Greir in this strip]]. [[spoiler: "It Takes a Fake Death to kill a fake god. And you figured it out." ]] This moment is subverted soon afterward, however.** Further brilliance: The monks worship ''luck'', and their faith was rewarded.* GagPenis:** Parodied in "Good Behavior".** Also in "The Yoke", where a rebellion happens after a 'cock tax' is instituted. It doesn't go quite as planned.--->Turns out that being well-endowed is no guarantee you're good at tactics.* GenderBender: The wizard in "Cornwalling", and also the effect of the [[http://www.oglaf.com/fountain-of-girl/1/ Fountain of Girl]].* GenericCuteness: Suprisingly averted. A variety of looks and body types are on sexy display, compared to most erotic comics where every woman would look like [[BuxomIsBetter Vanka]].* GeniusDitz: Navaan. She is perceptive enough to notice things such as [[http://www.oglaf.com/grill/2/ disguised statues]] and is even able to understand specifically how to deal with a severed immortal's head without lungs despite believing that the function of a doctor is to "solve mysteries."* GeniusLoci: Parodied in "Sanctuary." -->What's a region need to do to get recognized in this town?* GenreSavvy:** Monks from "Lapis Lazuli" weren't until they were taught a very painful (and sexy) lesson.** The travelers in "Naiads." * GetOut: [[http://www.oglaf.com/potion/ The potion seller]].* GladiatorGames: Played with in "Sport" when the emperor decides to TakeAThirdOption.* {{Glamour}}: Deconstructed [[http://oglaf.com/unattainable/1/ here]]. * GodGuise: [[spoiler:The malevolent god worshiped by the fools' cult]] is an ''inversion''; a real god disguised as a fake god according to one of its followers. It ''looks'' like a bunch of people in a lousy costume when it's actually a very real and very dangerous deity. [[spoiler:An immortal warrior found this out the hard way and lost her sword and everything below her neck for her troubles.]]* GodIsEvil: Several cases appear, although Sithrak for one [[spoiler:[[SubvertedTrope turns out to be merely careless]], despite the certainty of his believers]].* GoneHorriblyRight: Only for [[http://oglaf.com/chronotherapy/ the wizard]]--he went back in time to cure a plague, but because he'd done so, the reward he'd been offered was never in place to begin with.* TheGoodKing: King Blowjob. He rules over a "peaceful fellatiocracy," throws himself without hesitation on a sexually-frustrated man in the middle of a "cock rampage," and spares no effort to free the man from his condition when he realizes a curse is behind it.* GroinAttack:** The Giant Cockbats, though not in the traditional fashion.** If a man attempts traditional sexual intercourse with the Snow Queen, he...''[[LiterallyShatteredLives suffers]]''.* HatesEveryoneEqually: According to his followers, [[http://oglaf.com/sithrak/ Sithrak]], the god who tortures ''everyone'' forever after they die, regardless if they're good or evil. [[spoiler:He wrote that when he was very angry, and is surprised to learn that anyone still reads it.]]* HeManWomanHater:** The armourer in "Breastplate". He makes [[http://www.oglaf.com/breastplate/ really good armor]], though. ** Kronar and all of his fellows utterly reject anything remotely feminine.* HeWhoFightsMonsters: in ''[[http://oglaf.com/abyss/1/ The Abyss]]''.* [[HoistByHisOwnPetard Hoist By Her Own Petard]]: The Mistress discovers the drawback of the cumsprite curse she put on Ivan when he gets captured and uses it to pester her incessantly until she pays his ransom.* HomosexualReproduction: Kronar's bloodline has been free from woman's taint for a hundred generations, with shades of MisterSeahorse and NoManOfWomanBorn, as well.* HornyDevils: Mistress's pair of captive succubi. It's not (yet) known what they would do if she ever unchained them. One of Ivan's [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment duties]] is to oil their naked bodies twice a day.* HumanoidAbomination: For a given value of humanoid. Complete with tentacles.* IceCreamKoan: The incarnation of Enlightenment in "Justice":-->'''Enlightenment:''' Questions are sand in a bowl of rice. Poverty is the daughter of the silk merchant.\\'''Man:''' I'm not stupid, you know! Just because I don't understand you doesn't mean I'm stupid!* AnIcePerson: The Snow Queen. Though she really is very nice.* IKnowYourTrueName: Because I've just changed it. That's the power of appellomancers, name wizards: they change someone's name and consequently [[http://www.oglaf.com/branding/ their nature]].* TheImmodestOrgasm: Taken to its logical extreme [[SerialEscalation and further]] in "Fresh Horses."* ImmortalityHurts: [[ThePaladin The Immortals]] aren't immune to injury at all, though they do at least seem to have a very high pain tolerance. At one point Morag is beheaded, and only able to describe how it happened when somebody blows air up through her severed windpipe. WordOfGod says [[LosingYourHead she's still just a head.]]* ImpossibleThief: Vanka, most notably in "Fingers."* IncompatibleOrientation:** The Ambassador has made several advances towards the Apprentice, who definitely prefers women. This seems not to bother the Ambassador at all.** The bounty huntress Greir seems to be ladies-only, but has been hit on at least twice by men (one a shapeshifter who quickly and [[EpicFail awkwardly]] attempts to rectify the situation).* TheInformant: Ivan's curse is that his semen comes to life and runs to tell the Mistress what he's been doing.* InnocentBystander: The unfortunate female guard in "Shaft", who gets the Arrow of Regret in the throat.* InsaneTrollLogic:** Eating the world's most beautiful women does not [[http://www.oglaf.com/notches/1/ make a crocodile]] the world's most beautiful woman. ** Two adventurers get trapped by an owlbear, and the male adventurer who had studied herbivores decides to deal with it in the only rational way - [[MateOrDie out-breed it]], because at least some of their offspring would live. [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike The female adventurer thinks it's a]] ''great'' idea, only for the owlbear to successfully turn the man off [[CrazyEnoughToWork by saying un-sexy words]], foiling their plan.--->'''Woman:''' No wonder it's the apex predator.** When a devil bear steals your wife, the proper recourse is to steal the ''devil bear'''s wife. Obviously.** In "This Could Happen," the disciples of Sithrak go proselytizing: "God hates us unreservedly!" "So why shouldn't a woman in a blonde wig fuck a door-to-door evangelist in front of his dorky friend?" (The comic's world being what it is, they actually get some takers!)* InsultToRocks[=/=]InsultFriendlyFire: After slaying the fun god, Greir addresses its cultists...-->'''Greir:''' If they ask about fun, tell them fun is a filthy parasite.\\'''Navaan:''' As a parasite, I take offense to that.* ItAmusedMe: The philosophy behind most of Mistress's actions. For example, see hires apprentices with the promise that she will teach them magic. Instead she torments them sexually and subjects them to many humiliations and kills them off regularly. [[spoiler:Ivan's predecessor is killed for going behind the Mistress' back by trying to actually teach himself magic. He gets a [[AssShove fire wand activated inside of him.]]]]* ItsAllMyFault: [[spoiler:The Lizard of Guilt, appropriately enough.]]* ItsAlwaysSpring: In "Tool", due to the dwarves inventing a cold-proof vibrator and giving it to the Snow Queen.* ItWasWithYouAllAlong: "Don't you see? The princess was you all along!"* IWasQuiteALooker: Subverted in "[[http://www.oglaf.com/fountain-of-girl/1/ Fountain of Girl]]."[[/folder]][[folder: J-O]]* JackBauerInterrogationTechnique: Greir is fond of the direct approach -- like tying people up and punching them until they tell her what she needs to know. * JerkassGenie: He'll grant any wish, but will cut off your legs if you don't make the one he ''wants'' you to make.** And now, his colleague, Wishing Dolly.* JerkassGods: [[http://oglaf.com/sithrak/ If the sacred texts of the cult of Sithrak the Gibberer are to be believed,]] Sithrak is downright [[GodIsEvil Evil]]. Then one of them dies, and it turns out that [[spoiler:[[http://oglaf.com/outreach/2/ Sithrak was just going through a phase when he wrote that stuff.]] However, the fact that he left his sadistic adolescent {{wangst}} lying around with the status of holy writ does make him a bit of a jerkass, though in his defense, he didn't think anyone was still reading it. He even revives one of his followers, asking him to clear up the misunderstanding.]]* JustLikeRobinHood: Parodied [[http://www.oglaf.com/relief/ here]]. He steals from the rich, all right, and he ''kinda'' gives it to the poor, but his methods of distribution are a bit... self-serving.* JustSoStory: [[http://oglaf.com/justso/ This wide-eyed youth seems fond of telling them.]] Referenced by both the comic title, "Just So," and the TitleText which gives his name as Rudyard.* LawfulStupid: Ulric the Just. If a devil-bear steals your wife, Ulric will dispense justice... by stealing the bear's wife for you.* LeaveNoSurvivors: Kronar [[PlayingWithATrope plays with]] this [[http://www.oglaf.com/survivor/1/ here.]] Unfortunately, he cannot quite seem to get the terror of it right.* LimitedSpecialCollectorsUltimateEdition: There are two editions of "Book One": the regular edition, and a [[http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=OG-BOOK01&Category_Code=OG signed edition]] with a hand-drawn bookplate inside the front cover featuring the character of your choice. The signed edition costs $10 extra and actually is so popular that extra character options have been added over time and often end up sold out.* LiteralMinded: A shapeshifter, trying to palm Greir off with sex in lieu of a reward, asks her what her type is. When she replies "I'm after a hot woman -- voluptuous -- head is a ''big bag of freaken' gold!''", it obliges. Its attempts to talk dirty suggest it thinks she has a MoneyFetish.* LittleMissBadass: Kronar's [[http://www.oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/2/ "son"]].* LogicBomb: A simple one, but then the dwarves aren't the most sophisticated creatures around.* LoonyLaws:** The strip [[http://oglaf.com/assorted-fruits/ "Assorted Fruits of Wrath"]] has a crusading army get blown away by its own god for violating a scriptural law about not opening the wrong end of a banana (no mention of which end that is).** In the strip [[http://oglaf.com/dont/ "Don't"]], the town magistrate has to explain to the townsfolk that all the new signs forbidding things like "sex during thunderstorms" and "trimming your beard" aren't loony ''laws'', but loony ''curses''. The community spectre they're stuck with is a spiteful sort.* LovePotion: ** The LoveAtFirstSight variety [[http://www.oglaf.com/potion/ at its most literal]].** There is also the "Potion of Girlfriend" which is also a LotusEaterMachine. * LoveTriangle: The balcony scene starts as [[TriangRelations type 5, but this being Oglaf, it turns into 10 and then 7]] in the epilogue.* LukeIAmYourFather: [[http://oglaf.com/descent/ Weaponized,]] sort of.* MaleFrontalNudity: The comic's not shy about showing it. * ManipulativeBastard: Vanka, sometimes to impossible degrees.* ManlyGay: Kronar.* ManlyTears: Kronar, [[http://www.oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/2/ after seeing his "son" tear apart the wolves in the pit she was thrown into.]]* MarsNeedsWomen: Subverted, in "Human Women." [[spoiler:They appear to not know what a human woman really is.]]* {{Matriarchy}}: Of the Sexy variety.* MeaningfulName: What you'll get stuck with if you insult an [[{{Whatevermancy}} Apellomancer]]. It won't be flattering, either.* MermaidProblem: Averted, lampshaded, and discussed along with NonMammalianMammaries in the Isle of Tits storyline.--->Fish-folk breed by spawning. Why would they need tits?* MindControl: Probably more examples in the archives, but in "Frog 2," a woman is "cursed to be a slut" by a witch. A very forward thinking witch, it seems -- when the traditional kiss-to-cure trick is tried by [[LesYay a local maiden]], it turns out its a case of ViralTransformation, too.** [[spoiler: As of the 8/26/12 update ("Slut Virus"), it seems that things have progressed around the kingdom's populace to the extent of ZombieApocalypse levels... a very ''sexy'' zombie apocalypse...]]* MisterSeahorse: In Kronar's all-male line, this would be the case. [[BrainBleach We actually see one of them giving birth]].* MomentKiller: ''Everyone'', in the strip appropriately titled "Moment".* MoralityPet: Subverted by the Lizard of Guilt.* MortonsFork:** The Ambassador tricks the Apprentice into eating a poisoned cake then offers him to [[SadisticChoice suck the antidote off his penis]]. Turns out [[spoiler:the antidote was poison too.]] Refusing doesn't save the Apprentice any suffering in the [[OrificeInvasion end]].** In "Rite of Passage", kids are given a rite of passage to adulthood. If you do what you are told, you will be bitten by a venomous bog beast and die in [[GroinAttack a terribly painful manner]]. If you refuse, you pass. If you pass, you are offered another "rite of passage" (yes, with another bog beast, and in an equally painful manner as the last). If you pass again, you are given a treasure chest. If you open it, you die because it has a bog beast in it, but at least it'll go for your face first. If you refuse... well, we don't know what happens ''then'', but judging by the pattern, it'll include a bog beast. In summary, "Aah, kids. Fuck 'em."* MundaneMadeAwesome: Most of the dwarves' inventions. * MyEyesAreUpHere: Parodied in "Snakeskin": The gorgon's ''face'' turns people to stone.* NatureAbhorsAVirgin: Not explicit, but in this world virginity seems to be both rare and something you're better off without.* NeverLiveItDown: In-universe for [[http://oglaf.com/salome/1/ Salome]] and the decapitated head. She is distinctly unhappy about this.* NippleAndDimed: Mistress's skimpy costumes usually cover at least two important areas... though sometimes they don't even manage that. In early strips, her tops were usually very sheer.* NobleDemon: Strangely, Sandoval. He could just rape Ivan or have someone else take his virginity, but he respects that Ivan's a virgin and comments that it's a "rare gem in an age of poverty". He also never uses force to get anyone into bed, preferring seduction or occasionally magic to make them willing.* NoManOfWomanBorn: The leader of the Fun Cult says that the cult will prosper as long as their temple still stands. [[spoiler:[[http://oglaf.com/deincarnation/5/ Greir burns it down.]]]]-->[[AltText for a moment there it was a fire temple, now it's mostly a charcoal temple]]* NonMammalMammaries: "Heh. Snake tits."* [[NotSafeForWork NSFW]]: More often than not. Comics that actually ''are'' work-safe are the ones with labels (beware of comics with labels like 'safe-ish', 'semi-safe' or 'safesque', however -- they tend to be ones that are modest by ''Oglaf'' standards but questionable by work standards).* NotTheFallThatKillsYou: Ivan throwing the [[spoiler:[[http://oglaf.com/shaft/3/ Lizard of Guilt out of the tower.]] [[http://oglaf.com/shaft/4/ Ivan blames gravity for the murder.]]]]* ObsessiveLoveLetter: The Apprentice [[http://oglaf.com/secret-admirer/1/ started receiving odd love letters]] from anonymous sources, who in some cases weren't even sure of his gender. The notes quickly got [[http://oglaf.com/secret-admirer/2/ rather more ridiculous]].* ObviouslyEvil: Sithrak is towering figure in a burning hellscape, his head a giant black, flaming skull with nails jammed in through the sockets. His religion preaches that he hates everyone equally and will torture everyone equally upon death. [[spoiler:And then one of his followers dies, and the god is genuinely shocked by his expectations of eternal torment, and wasn't expecting anyone to be paying attention to his teen poetry. He sends said follower back to spread the word that he's not going to torment anyone, only for him to [[ComicallyMissingThePoint think Sithrak is trolling all his believers in a tremendous act of sadism.]]]]* OnlyTheChosenMayWield: Parodied in "Noblesse Oblige."* OperationJealousy: Spoofed in "Envy." A woman wants to sleep with a guy to make her friends jealous. The guy thinks this isn't a very nice thing to do, and after listening to her InsaneTrollLogic justifications, sleeps with "a much nicer woman, disguised as you" in order to make both the woman ''and'' her friends jealous.* OrificeEvacuation: ** Ivan's semen turns into a Cumsprite whenever he ejaculates. After being so cursed, he manages to get fellatio. The predictable happens, but the woman (a virgin vampire) declares it to be adorable. ** Later, the phrase "bring out the goddess in me" takes on a whole new meaning. [[spoiler:The tapeworm goddess comes out of a woman's mouth this way after she engages in sex with a man; upon offering them each a wish, the couple asks her for BrainBleach.]]* OrificeInvasion: ** The alien doctors' cleansssing polyp. (It only goes in the mouth, but it's clearly still unpleasant).** We don't know exactly where the lubeworm goes but it's presumably this trope as well.* OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame: Averted; Oglaf's dwarves are more like gnomes.* OurElvesAreBetter: Not all of them are good archers.* OutDamnedSpot* OutWithABang: ** One of the more unusual plays on this you're likely to find - Ivan's spooges end their "lives" by splashing on (so far) a woman's face or breasts.** When you are a male praying mantis, odds are good this happens.** By "Trouser Snake," Navaan's career as a "doctor" has progressed to the point where she cajoles sex out of the dying, because in the worst case scenario, isn't that how you'd want to go?** Subverted when it appears that [[spoiler:Oglaf himself]] apparently died in a massive explosion after [[ItMakesSenseInContext participating in actual, legitimate, sex]], but was revealed to be alive in the next strip. [[spoiler:Said next strip has he and his partner causing a volcanic eruption with their sex, so...]][[/folder]][[folder: P-S]]* ParentalIncest: DoubleSubverted in "Branding". Princess Fatherfucker was cursed with that name by an "evil [[{{Whatevermancy}} appellomancer]]". -->'''Suitor:''' So... you ''don't'' fuck your father?\\'''Princess:''' Err... yes... but it only started happening because of the name.* PerpSweating: With a [[CueTheSun sunbeam]]. Of course, when the "perp" has [[KryptoniteFactor dire reason to avoid]] sunlight, [[http://www.oglaf.com/grill/1/ this is more threatening than usual]].* PerverseSexualLust: [[{{In-universe}} He's using]] that potion [[http://www.oglaf.com/potion/ wrong.]]* PetitePride: The Mistress is rather small and Greir is also modestly endowed, but they never complain about it, and commenting wouldn't be wise in either case.* PlagueDoctor: [[http://oglaf.com/jarlampham/1/ Navaan.]]* PlayingCyrano: With a twist in "Balcony."* PlotDetour: Navaan falls victim to one. Given the nature of the "fun" in question, this could potentially double as DistractedByTheSexy. -->'''Navaan''': Why did nobody tell me this was on?* PoisonedChaliceSwitcheroo: The Xoan Ambassador tries to pull a poison ''penis'' switcheroo on Ivan.* PokeThePoodle: Occasionally we see "evil" characters commit acts of laughably petty evil just for fun.* ThePollyanna: An adventurer named [[IronicName Umbra Wynterdarque]] becomes one thanks to a Ring of Optimism. Highlights include him thinking a ring that killed another adventurer instantly was just a "ring of faking your own death."* PornWithPlot** WordOfGod is that the comic started out as an attempt to make pornography, until it "degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately."** Discussed [[http://oglaf.com/fully-fleshed/ here]].* ThePowerOfFriendship: Deconstructed in "Hefty Grogol". Apparently, it's better to be friends than to be enemies because it's much easier to stab your friend in the face than your enemy.* PowerPerversionPotential: Invincible Shield Maiden, though she doesn't seem too happy with it.* PrecisionFStrike: Although the comic is loaded with swearing, one particularly precise example appears in the punchline of "[[http://oglaf.com/alsoelves/ Also, Elves]]."-->'''"Dead" Elvish Prince:''' For ''fuck's'' sake.* PunBasedTitle: One comic featuring Vanka is about a sucker in prison and the power of believing that nothing can go wrong. The title of the comic is "Conviction".* PutOnABus: [[spoiler:Ivan. He's in a magical sleep.]]* RageAgainstTheHeavens: It [[http://oglaf.com/throne-heaven/ works pretty well]] if [[spoiler:you arrange to be buried with terra cotta soldiers]].* RageQuit: [[http://oglaf.com/automaton/ The Automaton]], a chess-playing golem.* RealityBreakingParadox: Happens in "[[http://oglaf.com/evensong/ Evensong]]," where a monk prays to God to answer this prayer by not answering this prayer.* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Ivan gives a pretty good one to the ghost of the Lizard of Guilt. Unfortunately for him, no one else can seem to hear it (or they just ignore it) so it sounds like he is giving the speech to the Mistress [[spoiler:moments before she decides to execute him.]] Doubles as a crowning moment of awesome as that's the first time that Ivan has really stood up for himself.-->'''Ivan:''' [[PrecisionFStrike Shut the fuck up!]] You had a one-note life and dumping your inane shit on me won't change that, you [[ClusterFBomb worthless fuck!]]* RevolvingDoorCasting: Anyone who appears to be a major recurring character is reduced to making far and in between appearances or just disappears from the comic completely.* RebelliousPrincess [[KingIncognito Incognito]]: "Princess activities suck!"* RedOniBlueOni:** Vanka and Greir, [[http://www.oglaf.com/roguearsenal/ respectively.]] ** Thessaly and Tristram. It's even reflected in their outfits.** Later, Navaan and Greir [[OddFriendship team up for a storyline]], to similar effect.* TheReveal: The Funpire is none other than [[spoiler:Navaan, an actual vampire.]]* RightForTheWrongReasons: [[http://oglaf.com/hoopla/3/ Greir assumes some jesters are part of a cult.]] [[spoiler:It turns out that they are, but it isn't revealed until later. [[http://oglaf.com/deincarnation/5/ It's even described as one at the end of the story.]]]]* RippleEffectProofMemory: The "[[http://oglaf.com/chronotherapy/ Chronotherapist]]" goes back in time to cure a plague before it starts, and then tries to claim the StandardHeroReward. The queen, naturally, doesn't know what plague he's talking about. [[PitySex Out of pity]] he's offered a downgrade to "a handjob and a hot meal".* RuleOfFunny: Although most episodes are [=NSFW=], the gratuitous nudity and sex play second fiddle to this.* ScheherezadeGambit: Deconstructed [[http://www.oglaf.com/scheherazade/1/ here]]. Apparently if you leave the Sultan in suspense, he might do the same to you.* SchmuckBait:** Subverted in "[[http://www.oglaf.com/bluedoor/ Blue Door]]" and in "Book of Love". Played straight and lampshaded in "Glove". It should be noted that the schmuck in all three examples is the same guy, although he only falls for it the third time. And even then, he was pretty sure it was a trap from the start.** In "[[http://oglaf.com/trapmaster/ Lair of the Trapmaster"]], the explorers find themselves in [[EmptyRoomPsych an empty room]] with nothing but the word "Overthinking" painted on the wall. They stay there the rest of the strip wondering what it means. (Subverted? Played straight? Who knows.)* ScienceIsBad: [[http://www.oglaf.com/tool/1/ Parodied]] by a now-overheating passerby due to dwarves inventing a cold-proof vibrator for the Snow Queen. "Yeah, spring used to mean something before technology ruined the world."** BrickJoke: Said passerby appears to be Ari, who had previously tried and failed to satisfy the Snow Queen in "Snowbound". Given that he [[spoiler:lost his cock to frostbite]] in the attempt, it's little wonder he'd be bitter about how easy it's become.* ScrewDestiny: Apparently, you can't fight destiny... unless it's your destiny to fight destiny. When you try to fight fighting destiny by ''not'' fighting destiny... [[http://oglaf.com/sooth/1/ you get a knife in the throat from a pissed-off seer]]. -->No ''way'' am I letting that little shit become king.* ScrewYourself: The sorcerer's duplicate phantasms do this in "[[http://oglaf.com/mirrorimage/ Mirror Image]]". According to the phantasms, the sorcerer usually jerks off while they do this.* SeductiveMummy: Parodied in [[http://oglaf.com/yummymummies/ this]] strip, featuring a group of decaying, decrepit mummies posing provocatively and spouting bad pick-up lines.-->'''Mummy:''' I'm naked under this bandage.* SerialEscalation: InUniverse in [[http://www.oglaf.com/beot/1/ this comic]]. Two warriors in a bar make {{Badass Boast}}s on how they will defeat a monster while handicapping themselves, each one more outrageous than the last. [[spoiler:It gets to the point that the monster arrives to terrorize the bar and finds everyone inside dead from cutting themselves and everyone there apart to fulfill their bravado.]]* SexComedy: In webcomic form.* SexGod: There's a subversion with a guy who manages to score a lot because he's renowned for his sexual prowess among the girls in town. In fact, he asked for a spell that makes the women he's been with incapable of ''saying'' anything other than praise of his performance; he's actually pretty lousy in bed.* ShaggyDogStory: Several, particularly the whole arc that starts with "Shaft" and seems to end in "Wake" on the words "stupid f'ing town". Justice/Atonement is another example.* ShapeshifterBaggage: Examined in [[http://oglaf.com/weepingwoods/ "Weeping Woods"]].* ShapeShifting: They aren't too well versed in human behaviour, unfortunately.* ShapeshiftingSeducer ** A hilariously unsuccessful attempt on Greir.** A forest nymph seems particularly inclined toward seducing and assuming the shape of wayward princes, which backfires when it turns out one of the victims wasn't entirely honest on an important point. ** Another shapeshifter happens to be successful, despite his BrutalHonesty.** Yet another Shapeshifting Seducer works as a SuperHero -- [[ScrewYourself Dopplebanger]].* ShootTheBuilder: Played for laughs in "The Virgin Cobbler", where a client decides to make sure that a cobbler who claims her legendary skill at boot-making is linked to her virginity will never create a finer pair of boots than the ones she made for her.* ShoutOut: ** The [[http://www.wowhead.com/spell=90833 Skull Drinking Cup]] from ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' with "So thirsty..." in its description is a reference to ''Oglaf'''s "[[http://oglaf.com/skulls/ Skulls]]" strip.** [[http://www.oglaf.com/riteofpassage/1/ "Rite of Passage"]] is a big one to the HandInTheHole[[note]]except switch "hand" with "penis" here[[/note]] scene from the 1980 ''Film/{{Flash Gordon|1980}}'' film.** [[http://www.oglaf.com/ornithology/1/ "Ornithology"]] is one to Creator/PeterJackson's adaptation of ''Film/TheHobbit''.** The AltText to the strip where a woman tells a man he's safe from arrest if he's inside her "[[UnusualEuphemism embassy]]" says "I had that Cult song stuck in my head the whole time." That song presumably being "She Sells Sanctuary".** Grier manages one to ''Franchise/WonderWoman'''s golden lasso in [[http://oglaf.com/grill/3/ "Grill 3"]], saying to an interrogation subject that he will tell the truth if she ties him up with it. When he points out it's [[SubvertedTrope not golden]], she says [[JackBauerInterrogationTechnique it isn't magic either]].** "[[http://oglaf.com/synod/ Synod]]" parodies the RealLife [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadaver_Synod Cadaver Synod]]. ** The store sells "Oglaf tracts" that are obvious parody of ComicBook/ChickTracts. The first character in [[http://oglaf.com/throne-heaven/ this strip ]] should also look familiar to anyone who has read a Chick Tract.** In "Dimorphism", the female version of the [[MushroomMan death-cap]] is, of course, the ComicBook/LadyDeath-cap.* ShutUpHannibal: Ivan to the Lizard of Guilt.* SingleTear: [[http://oglaf.com/goodbehavior/2/ A guard]], enduring Vanka and another woman (who is now a recurring character) in a cell crudely mocking him.-->This is an enormous slur on my professional conduct.* SirSwearsalot: All of the [[ClusterFBomb fukken dwarves]] have fukken limited vocabularies.* SituationalSexuality: Most of Mistress' all-female guard corps are not lesbians, but it doesn't seem to bother them.* SkullCups: {{Parodied}} in [[http://oglaf.com/skulls/ "Skulls!"]], which provides the page picture. A barbarian king demands wine in the skull of an enemy. The wine runs out the eye holes so he commands his men to find him an enemy with no eyes. [[spoiler:They find some kind of giant worm ... which turns out not to have a skull.]]-->[[spoiler:'''King:''' So thirsty...]]* SlapstickKnowsNoGender: When Ivan is kidnapped, Mistress [[http://oglaf.com/emancipation/ learns the hard way]] to pay his ransom.** Greir is on the receiving end in "The Rogue's Arsenal".* SnakeTalk: The inhuman staff of the infirmary at the Mistress' castle [[http://www.oglaf.com/infffirmary/ speak]] [[http://www.oglaf.com/infffirmary/epilogue/ like]] [[http://www.oglaf.com/stalker/2/ this]].* SoBeautifulItsACurse: A GaussianGirl finds [[{{Glamour}} her newfound beauty]] is [[BlessedWithSuck not all it's cracked up]] to be when [[http://www.oglaf.com/unattainable/1/ no suitor considers himself worthy of her beauty]].* SpareAMessenger: Played with in [[http://www.oglaf.com/survivor/1/ this]] strip. First, Kronar murders everyone in a village except one guy and tells him to spread the word about his power. The guy proceeds to boast that Kronar has gone soft since he let him live. When they laugh, Kronar bursts in menacingly. All of them hurriedly claim that they would make the best messenger, because they'd write the greatest songs or so forth. Kronar decides that they will display their talents and he will choose the best. One of the guys snickers at the idea that Kronar is holding a talent contest. Kronar finally snaps. Cut to two men looking at the smoking and destroyed pub from outside:-->'''Man 1''': What could have done this?\\'''Man 2''': We'll never know for sure. No survivors. Even some of the trees have been stabbed.* SpeedSex: Thanks to the [[JackassGenie Wish Dolly]], one man was capable of making anyone and everything cum instantly (read: people, walls, puppets, ''his own arm'') in "Vorpal Blade" and "Habeas Corpus".* StandardFantasySetting: Albeit a highly eroticized version.* StartMyOwn: After Robin Hood refuses to rebrand the Merry Men as "the Pussy Gang", the pussy-obsessed woman he's attempting to rob declares she's going to start her own Pussy Gang and show him up. [[http://oglaf.com/merrymen/ She succeeds.]]* StealthHiBye: Vanka escapes from her cell after flirting with the guard outside her door. She stole the keys from him in a similarly sneaky manner.* StealthPun: Kronar's line about his bloodline being free from woman's taint for a hundred generations.[[note]]the joke being that "taint" means "stain" (as a misogynistic insult) and is also crude slang for a bit of female anatomy[[/note]]* StoryArc: Even though this is a gag-a-week webcomic with vague storylines, we now have several arcs, sometimes broken up by other gag strips.* StrangeMindsThinkAlike: "Owlbear". Upon being cornered by the eponymous predator, a man decides to out-breed it so their offspring will survive. His female companion thinks this is a brilliant idea. [[spoiler: The owlbear anticipates this exact plan and starts saying moodkillers so they can't procreate.]]* StrangerInAFamiliarLand: Averted in "Felicity". Apparently turnips are just that awesome.* {{Stripperiffic}}:** The Mistress and her servants dress very provocatively.** Justified in the case of the Invincible Shield Maiden. She exposes her vulnerable areas because any wound on her appears on whoever inflicted it, instead.** In "Appeal to Heaven", devotees of the [[OddJobGods Goddess]] of [[LoveGoddess Sex]] and [[WarGod War]] appeal to her for victory in battle by wearing extremely revealing armor and acting as slutty as possible. [[/folder]][[folder: T-Z]]* TakeThat: "Naiads" includes a rather hilarious jibe at Mountain Dew in the alt text.* TakenForGranite:** "Snakeshin" shows one way to [[SubvertedTrope avoid it]].** Terrifyingly played straight in "Pork Chisel" with the still-conscious statues.** Might also apply to the guy in "Noblesse Oblige" - he's magically stuck for a ''long'' time, and from the fact that his pose doesn't change between panels he may be magically paralyzed as well.* TarAndFeathers: "Prince Rodgar".* TarotTroubles: Parodied in "[[http://oglaf.com/cartomancy/ Cartomancy]]", in which the reader has removed every card except 'Death' and 'The Lovers' in an effort to make her readings more dramatic. "In a portentous moment you don't want to draw 'Three of Cups' or something."* TeachHimAnger: The titular Sword Master of "The Sword Master" strip returns with his apprentice again. This time he seeks to teach the apprentice anger for a tournament after they watch attractive women bathe, reasoning that being out of their league is highly frustrating... [[ConverseError by telling him to masturbate to a picture of his opponent Lucius Bonecrusher until he finds him attractive]]? It seems Lucius practiced this as well, [[GoneHorriblyRight as at the tournament they both just blushed and started kissing each other instead of fighting]]. The Sword Master, outraged by his apprentice not fighting, enacts his training for himself upon the apprentice.--> '''Sword Master''': Hey! What do you think you're doing? '''I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP, BOY!'''\\(''BeatPanel as he pulls out a picture of his apprentice'')\\'''Sword Master''': Just give me a month.* TechnicalVirgin: The in-universe definition of "virgin" tends to be pretty strict:** An entire city of them!** Ivan himself is identified as a virgin, but he by his own admittance is constantly having sexual things done to him, just nothing that breaks the technical status of his virginity. The castle doctors express concern his lack of sexual experience might end up killing him.* TemporalParadox: In "Chronotherapy", a healer goes back in time to heal a plague before it ravages a kingdom, then returns to the present to claim his reward from the rulers. Exceeeeept, since there was no plague in the first place, the queen has no idea what she's supposed to be rewarding him for.* TertiarySexualCharacteristics: If a man in Kronar's tribe [[MisterSeahorse gives birth to]] a daughter, they affix the "bow of shame" to its head and leave it to the wolves.* TestosteronePoisoning: Kronar and his fellow warriors are very masculine, so... they [[MisterSeahorse reproduce by themselves]], [[HeManWomanHater shun women]] and [[ManlyGay are gay]].* TheSouthpaw: A few lefties are spread throughout the stories. Greir is the most notable.* TheTease: ** The blonde with the hat (who as of yet still remains unnamed) takes this UpToEleven. Her first appearance involved her mocking a prison guard through a (clothed) sexual display with Vanka. Subsequent appearances have her teasing male lovers with outrageous demands and unorthodox fetishes, such as requiring them [[{{Troll}} to state a ''preamble'' before engaging in coitus]]. ** [[http://oglaf.com/mistertique/2/ Mistertique]] is a GenderFlip.*** Mistertique and Blonde-With-Hat hooked up for "Consummate". [[spoiler: BWH insisted that Mistertique describe in graphic detail all the ways their lovemaking could go wrong, ruining the mood for him.]]* ThereWasADoor: Mistress' guards [[http://oglaf.com/stealth-kill/ leave the gate open]] just to screw with assassins who are overly fond of LeParkour.* [[ThisLooksLikeAJobForAquaman This Looks Like A Job For A Dentist]]: Overbite, though the dentist was just as surprised as everyone else it worked.* ThreatBackfire* TitleDrop: In "Suddenly", Oglaf, where we learn that the full title is (possibly) The Magical Adventures of Oglaf the Shepherd Boy.* TongueOnTheFlagpole: ** In the Boudoir of the Snow Queen; though it's not a flagpole...** In a later strip, [[GroinAttack it's not a tongue either]]. ''[[IceBreaker Ouch.]]''* TooDumbToLive: ** [[http://oglaf.com/skein/1/ The guy that slew the minotaur]] had some... odd ideas about how the ball of yarn would help him escape the labyrinth.** After Kronar leaves a man alive to tell the story, the man later calls Kronar a wuss for doing so. When Kronar hears and decides to kill him and his friends, leaving only one alive, they still can't resist teasing him about it. So he kills them all...and torches the tavern they're in...and stabs a few nearby trees.* TooKinkyToTorture: Ivan -- at least, Navaan seems to think so. You have to wonder how her other victims reacted to the threat of sexual intercourse with a hot woman...** Considering that the entire city is populated with virgins who are terrified at even the ''possibility'' that someone sexually promiscuous might be running about, Navaan probably expected such threats to elicit a somewhat more fearful reaction. * TooSoon: An in-universe example provides the punchline of 'Spectrophilia' (a strip about a guy having sex with a ghost):-->'''Guy:''' I fucked a dead woman!\\'''Friend:''' What, [[YourMom your mum]]?\\'''Guy:''' TooSoon, man.\\'''Friend:''' Sorry.* TortureTechnician: [[http://www.oglaf.com/transgression/1/ A pair of them]], each [[InLoveWithYourCarnage In Love With Each Other's Transgression]].* TotemPoleTrench: A tournament is won by a bunch of babies in a suit of armour in "[[http://oglaf.com/bascinet/ Bascinet]]".* TrickingTheShapeshifter: [[http://www.oglaf.com/kingshaped/ Whoops.]] * TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: [[invoked]]Mistertique and the Cougar Queen have an argument along these lines regarding "[[http://oglaf.com/trammels/ the secret of [his] man-pants!]]"-->'''Mistertique:''' See? You cannot plumb the depths for sheer enigma!\\'''Cougar Queen:''' It's not an enigma if there's nothing behind it. [[SurrealHumor This is just wilful abstruseness.]]\\'''Mistertique:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' There's no shame in admitting you don't get it. Seriously.* TurnUndead: Though not the kind of "turning" you were thinking.* {{Twincest}}: The first sign that [[spoiler:the "Felicia" hallucination is beginning to break down]] is when Ivan sees that his hot wife has given birth to two fully-grown twins who are making out with each other. * {{Underboobs}}: The Snow Queen's outfit, presumably for easy access since almost all of her appearances have her welcoming someone into her boudoir, and considering what has to happen for spring to [[JustForPun come around]].* UnflinchingWalk: Greir, Navaan, and [[ThoseTwoGuys the monks]] pull [[http://www.oglaf.com/deincarnation/5/ one of these]] off [[spoiler:after torching the temple of fun]].* UnfortunateName: Apellomancers can give these to people. Just ask Princess Fatherfucker and Captain Cockstink.* UnlimitedWardrobe: Mistress, though all of her outfits are skimpy.* UnluckyEverydude: Ivan the Apprentice. So very unlucky.* UnsettlingGenderReveal:** In "Puzzlecunt", Misterique ''would'' be having this, [[SubvertedTrope if he could figure out the solution to the "puzzle" literally in front of his face]].** "Tibia" has two skeletons in a graveyard watching a couple have sex, only for the skeleton being offered some [[ILoveTheDead post-death sex by his fellow skeleton]] to turn out to be a guy.--->Shit, really? You got wide hips for a guy.* UnstoppableForceMeetsImmovableObject: A man [[BlessedWithSuck blessed with the greatest cock in the world]] is unable to ejaculate due to causing everything his cock touches to orgasm instantly. He eventually crosses paths with the man [[CursedWithAwesome cursed to give the greatest blowjobs in the world]], who manages to hold out long enough to make the other man come closer than he ever had before to achieving climax before having a [[ItMakesSenseInContext lipgasm]] and falling asleep.* TheUnsmile: Anyone affected by the Funsnake's aura gets a wide-eyed, demented grin.* UnsoundEffect: [[http://oglaf.com/swordmaster/1/ The Sword Master's]] DopeSlap is appropriately sound effected with '''SLAP!''' * UnusualEuphemism: The Immaculate City's inhabitants have curious notions of what sexual terms exist, and what the real ones actually mean. * UpperClassTwit: The Ambassador seems to have a case of this.* UrbanLegendLoveLife: Every woman who's had sex with the protagonist of "Prowess" says he's [[SexGod great in bed]]. [[spoiler:He's not actually great; he just has a magic amulet that forces women to say that.]]* VaginaDentata: "Rogue Arsenal 3" is more like "vagina-that-squirts-ink-in-the-face-of-anyone-performing-cunnilingus-on-the-wearer", but it still works.* VaporWear: Vanka's outfit is cut low enough in front and high enough on the sides to demonstrate this ("Cryophilia", for example).* ViewersAreGeniuses:** What do you ''mean'' you don't get the joke in "[[http://oglaf.com/salome/1/ Salome]]?" How did you not know that the biblical Salome's dance convinced Herod to behead John the Baptist, and that in Creator/OscarWilde's [[{{Theatre/Salome}} adaptation of the story]] she kisses his decapitated head?** Not to mention [[Literature/ArabianNights Scherazade]]'s occasional appearance.** And of course there's the 'Golden Hind' Bordello.* VirginSacrifice: Navaan has been sending virgins "out" of Vanorva to be eaten by her fellow vampires. It's not clear whether the victims have to be virgins or if virgins are just the easiest prey.* VirginPower: ''Oglaf'' inevitably plays with this trope occasionally: ** Only virgins can see the Enchanted City of Vanorva. Because of this, the entire population is celibate, to avoid accidentally depopulating the place. If a supposed slut somehow enters the city (even if the sex activities were not consensual, [[ButtMonkey as most of Ivan's were not]]), there is a widespread panic. Except, blowjobs don't count...nor does [[ComicSutra flang]]. The jury's still out on anal. Ivan tried to convince Navaan it was okay, but she had second thoughts [[spoiler:after seeing the soldiers looking for them]].** Also a BrickJoke from [[http://www.oglaf.com/infffirmary/ earlier in the arc]]. ** See also the religious order in "Lapis Lazuli." When Vanka comes to plunder their idol, she's clever enough to [[FlawExploitation deflower her attackers]] before making off with her prize. ** In the two-strip story "The Virgin Cobbler", the highly skilled title character tells her aristocratic clients that her skills are empowered by her virginity. [[spoiler:One comely female client sets out to ensure that none of her rivals will ever acquire more stylish footwear than her own by deflowering the cobbler. (Lesbian is assumed to count here.) The cobbler seems quite happy with that, and then goes off to buy a potion of virginity restoration. The punchline is that the cobbler knows that the potion is just sugar water, just like cobbling skill comes from talent and practice. She and the potion vendor share an opinion of rich people.]]* VisualPun[=/=]MultipleReferencePun:** Sandoval's funeral outfit includes a bundle of sticks on his head; i.e. a faggot. Sandoval is gay. (It's also mourning wood.)** Another Visual Pun: Vanka has an Film/{{octopussy}}.* WeaknessTurnsHerOn: According to Vanka in "Lapidiary," "sometimes you can be so sad you go all the way around to being hot." When her victim proves utterly pathetic, she bones him.* WeaksauceWeakness: In "Lapis Lazuli" and next two comics. The monks learn their lesson, though.* WeNeedADistraction: Fortunately, [[ItMakesSenseInContext a rodeo-bull in a giant penis suit]] escaping its pen should do nicely.* WhamEpisode: [[spoiler:Kill the apprentice? Pfft, LikeYouWouldReallyDoIt. Oh... ''oh no!'']]* WhatHaveIBecome: Used word-for-word as the punchline of "[[http://oglaf.com/abyss/1/ The Abyss]]."* WhipItGood: The last panel of one strip implies that Mistress is about to put this to good use on Ivan.* WhyDontYaJustShootHim: Averted hilariously and spectacularly on two occasions:** Mistress is about to torture a man in a way so horrible once you understand that it's a good thing when her pet falcon incinerates him with its laser eyes. This prompts her to sell the bird.** The second time [[http://oglaf.com/blanket/1/ Mistress deliberately invokes it.]]* WinterRoyalLady: The Snow Queen. Quite literally.* TheWisePrince: Tristram. (His brother Thessaly is stuck being the Cynical Prince in a story that runs on Idealism.)* WombLevel: Literally with the "[[PunnyName Labi-rinth]]", a labyrinth styled like the interior of a vagina in "Hart's Line". It is defended by a [[SnakesAreSinister giant snake]], and the keepers read it [[RomanceNovel literature about passionate romantic architecture]] to keep it lubricated. * YaoiFangirl:** The paladin from "Rigor Mortis".** Mistress with Sandoval and the Apprentice as well.** Scheherazade in "Arabian Nights" too.--->'''Sultan''': Sorry, did you say "moustache"?\\'''Scheherazade''': [[VerbalBackspace Eyelashes]]. I said eyelashes.** Trudy Cooper herself it seems.* YaoiGuys: ** Kronar and his mate.** The two guys from "Balcony" (who might bear some resemblance to [[WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado Miguel and Tulio]] if you squint a bit).** The "Princess" and "her" prince.** The guys from "Arabian Nights".** The gladiators in "Sport" apparently take requests.* YinYangClash: A man with the power to make anyone orgasm as soon as his cock is inside them meets the man who is the world's best at blowjobs. [[spoiler:The cock wins.]]* YouCantFightFate: [[http://oglaf.com/sooth/1/ Or can you?]] * YouGottaHaveBlueHair: Human characters have normal hair colors except for Greir, whose hair is bluish-green.* YouShallNotPass: Inverted in "[[http://oglaf.com/ravine/ Ravine]]". Greir is not amused.* YouWontFeelAThing: A [[http://oglaf.com/stalker/2/ favorite]] "[[BlatantLies promise]]" of the Nurses. * ZettaiRyouiki: Shows up here and there, but Greir's default outfit features Grade A.[[/folder]]----


text:
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subset: commoncrawl


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On Friday, short positions against the euro on US exchanges rose to US$7.6-billion, according to the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission. This is the largest ever recorded net short position against the euro.
News last week continued to play out around the crisis in the eurozone countries, and in particular, Greece. Many pointed to Greece's negligible contribution to the eurozone GDP (see chart below), but it's not the extent of Greece's problems that's worrying investors - it's the uncertainty concluded from having no prior precedent. Investors are wary of the first big test for the euro. These are defining moments for its durability and longevity. Uncertainty surrounding Greece's budget has magnified the sentiment of euro shorts.
You may have seen many charts about the size of the European countries' deficits before, but I find this one the most intriguing. Here you can see that Greece has a budget deficit of 12.7% of GDP BUT it constitutes only 2% of the entire eurozone's GDP. Much more worrying for the euro is the size of deficits for both Spain and France when you take into account their percentage of eurozone GDP, which add up to over 30% of the total.
This needs to be taken into consideration with the looming public debts each country holds. Portugal, for example, has a debt to GDP ratio that is set to hit 85 percent this year. Greece's is almost 113 percent.
The Absurdity of Greece
The more we hear about the fiasco with Greece, the more we see how absurd things have become. The Mail Online reported Goldman Sachs' involvement in 'helping' Greece to attain euro membership...
Goldman Sachs struck a secret deal with Greece to help it mask its vast debts...
The Wall Street giant is claimed to have reaped as much as £192million in fees by entering a complex currency transaction in 2001 that helped Athens borrow cash without putting it on the books as a loan.
The so-called 'swap' deal, while permitted under EU rules, helped Greece meet eurozone limits on government borrowing.
Furthermore we were surprised to hear that the Greek government has only just made it mandatory for shops to keep receipts, and only 150k Greek citizens have declared income of over 100k euros, with 90 percent declaring less than 30k. As many economists have pointed out, this is hard to believe with a population of over 11 million. In other words, tax evasion has been rife.
The Weak Euro Effect
Weaknesses in the European countries have inevitably played out in the markets.
The chart below plots the Euro Index over a 1 year period. What's noticeable is not that it has declined recently, but that it has much further to fall.
In response, the gold price recorded its highest ever gold fix in euros yesterday - 808.072.
In the very least the euro has been dealt a heavy blow. Confidence in its durability has been questioned. The real effect should be played out in countries that were looking to diversify away from huge dollar reserves. In their eyes, the uncertainty in the euro will add to the appeal of gold. These are bullish signs for gold. Could a new bull rally be coming soon? It looks likely, but we have to keep an eye on the euro, the US economy and other factors.
To find out the next move, stay tuned.
Disclosure: no positions


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Dr. Fadde in the News
"Bieser brings fresh ideas to Mizzou baseball" by Dave Matter (St. Louis Post Dispatch, July 8, 2016)
"Former Southeast Missouri State coach Steve Bieser eager to navigate Missouri baseball program in rugged SEC waters" by Erin Unerstall (Southeast Missourian, July 1, 2016)
See Too
Virtual Reality for Serious Sports Training? (with Dr. Amy Kruse, Mr. Rudy Chapa, Esq., and Mr. Robert Griffin, III). Panel at South By Southwest (SXSW) Interactive. Austin, March 16, 2016.
Game Changer or Digital Doorstop? Virtual Reality for Sports Training. Competitive Advantage Talk at MIT-Sloan Sports Analytics Conference. Boston, March 12, 2016.
Video: Game Changer or Digital Doorstep?
Testing Pitch Recognition to Improve Talent Identification and Player Development Research Poster at MIT-Sloan Sports Analytics Conference. Boston, March 11 2016.
Doing Damage at the Plate by Training Pitch Recognition (with Mr.Dillon Lawson, then Hitting Coach, Southeast Missouri State University; now hitting coach, Houston Astros Minor League System). Clinic at American Baseball Coaches Association - Orlando, January 2015.
Video: Doing Damage at the Plate by Training Pitch Recognition [35:00]
Perception & Action Podcast: Dr. Rob Gray interviews Dr. Fadde about Perception-Action Coupling, Part vs. Whole Training, and VR use in sports.
Current Work
The 6th Tool: Training Baseball Pitch Recognition [E-Book available at Amazon.com] Download free Kindle Reader app from Amazon to read eBook on laptop, tablet, or smart phone.
Video: Occlusion Training Program -- College [5:00]
Collegiate Pitch Recognition Training Programs: Southeast Missouri State U (2013-present) and Southern Illinois U (2014-present)
Collegiate Baseball articles : March 12, 2014 & September 5, 2014
Youth PR: Winner of 2015 Web Ball Challenge on the Hardest Thing to Teach Young Hitters


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September 14, 2001
Americans across the nation are deeply saddened by the tragedies of this week. Many feel helpless and want to lend a hand but are unsure how, or may be wary of e-mail and phone scams soliciting money. American Liberty Partnership is an excellent Web site providing legitimate links to the American Red Cross, September 11th Fund, International Association of Fire Fighters, Fraternal Order of Police and more. You can make a contribution online, find out how to donate blood and reconnect with loved ones. Every dollar counts, so visit American Liberty Partnership and be assured that 100% of your donation will go directly to relief organizations.


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Robert Kubica seems to have more bad luck than most top-tier race car drivers, but maybe that's because his high-profile crashes since 2011 have garnered more media attention than his achievements. When we left off with him last month, he was within spitting distance of winning WRC2, and he indeed won the championship in late October. Now here's the bad news: he crashed out of his first full WRC event on Friday, ESPN F1 reports. Fortunately, Neither Kubica nor his co-driver were injured.
Robert Kubica
6Ferrari on Kubica: 'I don't think he will be back' in F1
- Brandon Turkus
- Oct 24, 2013
- 6
According to Scuderia Ferrari boss Stefano Domenicali, Robert Kubica's days of Formula One are over. You'll recall that Kubica, the former BMW Sauber and Lotus Renault ace was injured on a stage of the Ronde di Andora rally in a Skoda Fabia S2000, when he lost control and the car was impaled by a guard rail.
6Kubica stepping up to the big leagues with WRC2 title in sight
- Noah Joseph
- Oct 16, 2013
- 6
Robert Kubica may never race in Formula One again. But that's alright, because he's apparently finding a new way for himself in the World Rally Championship.
17Robert Kubica would give it all back to be in F1 again
- Zach Bowman
- Mar 19, 2013
- 17
5Kubica back behind the wheel after horrendous crash
- Jonathon Ramsey
- Sep 7, 2012
- 5
It has been the trend for drivers departing F1 to enter some other road-racing series, with endurance racing, DTM, IndyCar and NASCAR the popular destinations. Kimi Räikkönen went the other direction, leaving Ferrari for a stint with the development class of the Citroën rally team, and former F1 driver Robert Kubica might be doing something similar. Kubica, remember, suffered career-halting injuries in a crash during the Ronde di Andora rally in early 2011 and hasn't been back in
AddRobert Kubica's road back to F1 blocked by another broken leg
- Zach Bowman
- Jan 13, 2012
- Add
Robert Kubica has hit an impressive stretch of bad luck. The former Formula One driver with both BMW and Renault saw his chances of returning to the sport dashed in early 2011 when he was seriously injured in the Ronde di Andora rally. After the driver's forearm was partially severed in an accident, Kubica missed the entire 2011 F1 season. He also suffered a fractured right leg. In November, the racer made it clear he wouldn't be ready for the start of the 2012 season, either. Now Kubica has fra
8Robert Kubica won't be coming back next season
- Noah Joseph
- Nov 25, 2011
- 8
You haven't forgotten about Robert Kubica already, now have you? Of course not. Who could, after all, forget the first Formula One driver ever to come out of Poland, and one of the most promising talents in the sport.
6Robert Kubica's disastrous rally crash recreated with real Skoda
- Aaron Richardson
- Jun 27, 2011
- 6
8Robert Kubica not expected to return to F1 before season's end
- Noah Joseph
- May 24, 2011
- 8
If you've been counting down the days until Robert Kubica returns to the Formula One grid, you may want to stop counting for now. The latest reports suggest that the Polish driver is not likely to return before the end of the season, if at all.
8F1 driver Kubica released from hospital
- Aaron Richardson
- Apr 25, 2011
- 8
Robert Kubica has finally been released from hospital following his terrifying February rally crash. In case you forgot, Kubica hit an Armco barrier, which punctured the cockpit of his Skoda Fabia S2000, nearly severing off his hand and casting doubt on the future of his driving career.
9Officially Official: Heidfeld to fill Kubica's seat at Lotus Renault GP
- Noah Joseph
- Feb 16, 2011
- 9
Filling the proverbial shoes of Robert Kubica is no easy task. The grand prix winner – one of only 102 in history – is the first Polish driver to make it in Formula One, and he is rated as one of the best in the business. Fill his space, though, is exactly what Renault has had to do after Kubica's unfortunate crash in an Italian rally left him severely – if not critically – injured. But if anyone's up to the task, it's Nick Heidfeld.
2Lotus Renault GP to evaluate Nick Heidfeld in Jerez for Kubica's seat
- Noah Joseph
- Feb 10, 2011
- 2
13Followup: Kubica recovering as Renault weighs potential replacements
- Noah Joseph
- Feb 8, 2011
- 13
28Videos: Robert Kubica's crash at the Andora Rally
- Noah Joseph
- Feb 8, 2011
- 28
The motor racing community and the public at large are watching and waiting to see what becomes of Robert Kubica. The Renault Formula One driver crashed his Skoda Fabia S2000 at the Ronde di Andora rally in Italy over the weekend and was medevac'd to a local hospital where he is currently recovering. For those who haven't been following the story, Kubica (pronounced, incidentally, "koo-bee-tza") sustained severe damage to his right leg, arm and hand, and surgeons operated in shifts arou
15Followup: Injuries could force Kubica out of F1 season - if not entire career [w/video]
- Noah Joseph
- Feb 7, 2011
- 15
21Robert Kubica medevac'd from crash at Ronde di Andora Rally [Updated]
- Noah Joseph
- Feb 6, 2011
- 21
Formula One teams take a huge risk when they let one of their star drivers contest other forms of motorsport during the offseason. Never mind questions of focus: crashes happen all the time in every motorsport discipline, and one false step can have disastrous consequences for both driver and team.
10Renault F1 looks to sign big names for next season
- Noah Joseph
- Jul 1, 2010
- 10
With Robert Kubica's contract up for renewal at the end of this season, speculation has been rampant around the F1 paddock as to where he'll end up next. The highly rated Polish driver debuted with BMW-Sauber in 2006 after winning the Formula Renault 3.5 title the year before, and went on to land as high as fourth place in the drivers' standings two years later. This season the Pole switched to Renault and is sitting in sixth place so far after a couple of notable podium finishes. Reports now in
10Universal Soldiers: F1 aces Raikkonen, Vettel and Kubica lured by rallying
- Noah Joseph
- Nov 22, 2009
- 10
It used to be that a racing driver would pick his form of motorsport at the beginning of his career and stick with it for the duration. Sure, there have been a few notable exceptions – especially among the Finns – but these days, it seems as if the exceptions are gaining on the norm. F1 drivers like Juan Pablo Montoya are moving to NASCAR, WRC aces like Sebastien Loeb and MotoGP champs like Valentio Rossi are trying their hand at F1, while F1 champs like Michael Schumacher are checki
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Back in May 28 2012, I wrote the article "Revisiting The Coal Sector With An Alternate Altman Z-Score Model". In it, I used an alternate Altman Z-score model to gauge the risk of several coal equities, namely Patriot Coal, Arch Coal (ACI), Alpha Natural Resources (ANR) and Peabody Energy (BTU). This alternate analysis allowed me to establish that the near-term risk for Arch Coal, Alpha Natural Resources and Peabody Energy was bearable, whilst the risk for Patriot Coal wasn't. It was thus worthy to have undertaken the analysis.
Today, I will the same analysis on the three equities which are still solvent: Arch Coal, Alpha Natural Resources and Peabody Energy.
The methodology
I will be using the alternate Altman z-score, whose changes from the original consist of:
The alternate model does not include T5;
In the alternate model, T4 = Book Value of Equity / Total Liabilities;
The weights are different, with Z = 6.56T1 + 3.26T2 + 6.72T3 + 1.05T4 ;
The interpretation of the results is done according to a different set of values (Z > 2.6 is safe; 1.1 < Z < 2.6 is the grey zone; Z < 1.1 is the distress zone).
This z-score is more adequate for non-manufacturing companies, namely those that are capital intensive like the mining companies.
The following data was sourced from the latest 10-Ks for the three companies:
With this data we obtained the following results:
For the purpose of interpreting the results, I'll also reproduce below the table from the previous exercise.
There are several conclusions we can draw:
Arch Coal improved its risk profile slightly (from Z = 1.31 to Z = 1.37), even in the face of an unfavorable coal market. This allows it to stay in the grey zone (1.1 < Z < 2.6) and thus makes it the kind of equity one can speculate long on when trying to catch an improved coal cycle;
Peabody Energy continued showing the lowest risk but still saw some deterioration (from Z = 2.50 to Z = 1.95);
More worryingly, Alpha Natural Resources fell into the danger zone (Z = 0.53 < 1.1). It's perhaps thus not a surprise that it trades at a significantly lower valuation than, say, Arch Coal. Alpha Natural Resource's ill-timed acquisition of Massey Energy back in early 2011 is certainly to blame for this poor showing under duress.
Although no near-term risk seems to exist for Alpha Natural Resources, its poor showing should probably exclude it from future long speculations in this sector. It won't be unreasonable if it gets hit with insolvency speculation, which makes it too risky at this point.
Arch Coal and Peabody Energy remain decent candidates for coal-recovery trades if and when those present themselves. It's also commendable that Arch Coal managed to keep its risk profile intact for a whole year under very trying conditions.
Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, but may initiate a long position in ACI over the next 72 hours. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from Seeking Alpha). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.


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Aaron Scott Collins
Who is Aaron Scott Collins? Was Aaron Scott Collins arrested? When was Aaron Scott Collins arrested? What was Aaron Scott Collins arrested for? Is this a mugshot of Aaron Scott Collins? Are there more Mugshots of Aaron Scott Collins? Are Mugshot laws constitutional? Who decides which Mugshots are Indexed? Why must Mugshots remain public mugshots and public record? Is this the Aaron Scott Collins you know?
Aaron Scott Collins was booked in Burleigh County, ND on 6/12/2013 at 21:31.
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The following Official Record of Aaron Scott Collins is being redistributed by Mugshots.com and is protected by constitutional, publishing, and other legal rights. This Official Record was collected from a Law Enforcement agency on 6/13/2013.
Mugshots.com ID: 61159515
Arrest Number: 6130
Jacket Number: 3402
Inmate Classification: Pre-Trial
Booking Date: 6/12/2013 at 21:31
Arrest Date: 6/12/2013
Age: 32
Alias: N/A
Sex: M
Eye Color: GREEN
Hair Color: BLACK
Arresting Agency: Bismarck Police Department
Release Date: N/A
Scheduled Release Date: N/A
Holds: N/A
Address: TIOGA
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