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Skip to comments.Emancipation: January 1, 1863
Posted on 01/01/2013 6:56:33 AM PST by Kaslin
Editor's Note: This column was coauthored by Bob Morrison.
President Abraham Lincoln had been warned by Gen. George B. McClellan not to interfere with the institution of slavery. McClellan was a War Democrat, willing to fight to preserve the Union, but unwilling to do anything about the root cause of the rebellion that threatened the life of the nation.
Ironically, it was McClellans victory at the Battle of Antietam on September 17, 1862, that had given Lincoln the opportunity he needed to issue his Preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. In that document, the President warned rebellious states in the South that they would have their slaves freed if they did not cease their insurrection against the federal government and once again obey the laws of the Union.
That hundred-day period had been a difficult one for President Lincoln. There would be political reverses in the mid-term congressional elections that fall. Democrats campaigned on the slogan The Union as it was and the Constitution as it is. That meant slavery would be secure in all the states where it then existed. They picked up congressional seats and won key state governorships.
And then, there was the disastrous Union defeat at Fredericksburg, Virginia. Thousands of Union soldiers died in thirteen fruitless charges against Maryes Heights. An extraordinary appearance of the Northern Lights on the night of that battle led people to say the very heavens were draped in mourning.
Now, on January 1, 1863, Lincoln proved true to his word on Emancipation. But, as he sat down to sign the engrossed copy of the historic document, he noted an error in the text. Lincoln knew that the U.S. Supreme Court was hostile to Emancipation. If there was a single error, Lincoln knew the pro-slavery Chief Justice Roger B. Taney would strike down the Emancipation Proclamation. So he ordered it re-copied for signature later that same day.
Meanwhile, President Lincoln had to stand for hours shaking thousands of hands in the traditional New Years Day reception at the White House. When he came back to sign the Emancipation Proclamation, his hand was shaking. As his puzzled colleagues looked on,he exercised his weary arm.
He explained: If I am remembered for anything, it will be for this act and my whole soul is in it. He did not want future generations to see a feeble signature and say he hesitated. So he signed it Abraham Lincoln. He wrote out his full name, not signing it as he usually did, A. Lincoln.
January 1, 2013, the National Archives places the Emancipation Proclamation on rare public display, the text is hardly legible, the victim of age and light. But Abraham Lincoln stands out clearly.
Some cynics today say Lincoln freed no slaves where he had power and all the slaves where he did not. Then, too, the London newspapers adopted a snarky tone: The high principle of Mr. Lincolns proclamation is that a man may not own a man unless he is loyal to Mr. Lincolns government.
That criticism was as ignorant as it was unfair. Lincoln was no despot. He knew that he could not constitutionally deprive loyal citizens of their slaves so long as they obeyed the laws. He pleaded and cajoled the congressmen from the loyal slave states of Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland, and Delaware. They stubbornly refused his offers of compensated emancipation.
Lincoln was an able lawyer who new his brief. He had been a reader of Richmond newspapers for years. When secessionist editors boasted that the South could outlast the North because they could send all their young men into the army, while slaves would work the farms and factories, Lincoln took note.
Because the rebels themselves claimed slavery was a military asset, Lincoln knew he was on solid ground in freeing those slaves. His Emancipation Proclamation was a constitutional exercise of his powers as commander-in-chief of the army and navy. He justified it as an act of military necessity.
Abraham Lincoln is remembered as the Great Emancipator. He knew that the advance of the Union armies would bring freedom to millions.
Lincolns bold black signature had done this. And he would do more. As the movie, Lincoln, so clearly shows, the president was the prime mover behind the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution. That measure ended slavery in every state. Its a shame that the able writers and directors of this new movie did not show Lincoln signing that amendment, too. A presidents signature is not necessary for a constitutional amendment, but Lincoln once again had his whole heart and soul in it.
This is the day, January 1, 1863, one hundred fifty years ago, that changed America forever. From that date onward, Father Abrahams armies, the armies of the United States, became armies of liberation. Those soldiers, black and white, carried freedom in their haversacks.
The writer demonstrates his lack of a real education. The cause of the Civil War was not slavery; it was economics. The industrial North wanted to keep the South agricultural and poor - and they succeeded. Lincoln's freeing of the slaves was simply a tactic of war. While he was personally against slavery, he repeatedly indicated that he accepted the Southerners right to own slaves:
Do the people of the South really entertain fears that a Republican administration would, directly, or indirectly, interfere with their slaves, or with them, about their slaves? If they do, I wish to assure you, as once a friend, and still, I hope, not an enemy, that there is no cause for such fears." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume IV, "Letter to Alexander H. Stephens" (December 22, 1860), p. 160.
Even more telling is this quote:
"If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union." (Letter to Horace Greeley, August 22, 1862)
Go to the head of the class. The economic tug of war began early on. I can't remember exactly, but somehow I recall things labelled the "intolerable tariffs" in the 1820's that were designed to "bring those 'suthrnrs' to their bended knees." or some such.
But now I've probably started a firestorm.
I think it is you who show your lack of education.
re: "The cause of the Civil War was not slavery; it was economics."
Before I say anything, first let me say that I love the South and the bravery and fortitude of the Southern soldier is second to none. Their endurance and courage is part of our proud history that is shared by all Americans.
Having said that, I must partly disagree with your statement above.
I am not a professor of history, nor am I a licensed history teacher, but I am a long time Civil War buff and an avid reader of it's battles, it's leadership, and its causes, not only through individual historians viewpoints, but from the speeches, letters, diaries, and other writings from those who lived during that time period.
My disagreement lies in a couple of places. First, to say that slavery had nothing to do with the cause of the war is plainly not true. It is not the only cause, but it certainly was a major issue in aggravating an already strained relationship. And second, though it has been pointed out Lincoln did not advocate eradicating slavery where it already existed nor did he fight the war initially with the purpose of eradicating slavery, he certainly DID oppose its expansion into the new states being formed from the territories.
In the Lincoln-Douglas debates, he clearly makes it plain that while he believed slavery to be a moral wrong, that where it was already in place, it could not be constitutionally interfered with on the executive level. I cannot remember what he said in regard to congressional action, but I believe he would have said that the states in which slavery exists are the only ones who could alter it in any way - not any outside political entity.
However, as is also clear in the Lincoln-Douglas debates, because he believed slavery to be a moral wrong, it should not be allowed outside of those states where it already existed - it should not even be permitted to be voted on by the territories becoming new states. This was the whole point of the Lincoln/Douglas debates - should the new states/territories be allowed to decide whether or not slavery should be legally permitted within their borders?
The Southern leadership knew that if future states formed from the territories were all "free" states, sooner or later their congressional representation would be critically outnumbered by the free states in Congress. This, they feared, would lead to the eventual interference by Congress and the presidency to destroy their economy based on slave labor. They rightly understood that that would greatly disrupt their whole economic foundation - especially of those who were plantation owners - who were the movers and shakers in Southern society and politics.
This is why the Southern leadership firmly and uniformly opposed Lincoln's election as president, because he stood against the expansion of slavery into the new states to be formed from the territories. Therefore, slavery WAS an important element in the issues that separated North from South. It was not the only issue, but it was certainly and important element of the growing hostility between the two.
Lincoln also was strongly opposed to secession as utilized by the Southern states. He felt that if a state could simply vote itself out of the United States anytime it so desired, that that was a direct threat to the existence of the nation. He feared that this would lead to an eventual "Europeanizing" of the United States in which, as under the Articles of Confederation, each state acted as an independent country.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying secession isn't sometimes necessary, but I can see Lincoln's point. On the other hand, if I felt, as many in the South felt, and as many of us do here on FR, that the Federal government is intruding more and more and leading the nation away from its founding principles, then I can certainly see the necessity of secession - but only for the right reasons.
The question is, did the South secede for the right reasons and was there enough provocation to merit secession? I don't think so, but that is why we all still argue over the Civil War (or the Second American Revolution as my Southern brothers like to put it).
The purpose of this response is not to pick a fight, but I did feel it necessary to give an alternate view. I love discussing our history and only wish to point out my observations from the research I've done pouring over books on the subject, but also from the reading/studying of the writings of the leaders on both sides, North and South.
By the time of the "Civil" War, 75% of the Federal budget was derived from tariffs on exports (tobacco and cotton) from southern ports. There was no income tax at that time. The South had complained for decades they were not getting fair distributions of those funds to allow the South to participate in the Industrial Revolution. It is surprising that Secession did not occur sooner.
As usual,just follow the money. MR. lincoln got his war and freed NO slaves except those in the South.
As for those attending the fairy tale movie,"Lincoln", no amount of discussion will alter their convictions. "I know it's real, I saw it in the movies".
Then why did the Confederates all say that secession was about slavery?
(rolls eyes) Tariffs are on imports, not exports.
Bring on the draft riots.....
"My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume V, "Letter to Horace Greeley" (August 22, 1862), p. 388.
"My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume V, "Letter to Horace Greeley" (August 22, 1862), p. 388.
"Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery..."
Yep! The day the federal government decided it could blatantly ignore the Constitution and its Law.
From the US Supreme Court's Court of Appeals establishing the legal precedent that the US government was Constitutionally obligated to follow-
I regard this as but the entering wedge to other doctrines which are designed to extirpate slavery; and we may find when it is too late, that the patience of the south, however well founded upon principle, from repeated aggression will become exhausted. These considerations would have no influence with me if I could satisfy myself of the unconstitutionality of the law of congress; but I can never contribute in any manner, either directly or indirectly, to the abolition of slavery, however great an evil it may be, in violation of the constitution and laws of the country, and in violation of the solemn compact which was made by our forefathers at the adoption of the constitution, and which their posterity are bound to preserve inviolate. I am sustained in this view of the case by the whole current of authority, in all the states where the question has been decided.
Jack v. Martin , 1835
"I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in anyway the social and political equality of the white and black races - that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race. I say upon this occasion I do not perceive that because the white man is to have the superior position the negro should be denied everything." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume III, "Fourth Debate with Stephen A. Douglas at Charleston, Illinois" (September 18, 1858), pp. 145-146.
AN ORDINANCE to dissolve the union between the State of Mississippi and other States united with her under the compact entitled "The Constitution of the United States of America."
The people of the State of Mississippi, in convention assembled, do ordain and declare, and it is hereby ordained and declared, as follows, to wit:
Section 1. That all the laws and ordinances by which the said State of Mississippi became a member of the Federal Union of the United States of America be, and the same are hereby, repealed, and that all obligations on the part of the said State or the people thereof to observe the same be withdrawn, and that the said State doth hereby resume all the rights, functions, and powers which by any of said laws or ordinances were conveyed to the Government of the said United States, and is absolved from all the obligations, restraints, and duties incurred to the said Federal Union, and shall from henceforth be a free, sovereign, and independent State.
Section 2. That so much of the first section of the seventh article of the constitution of this State as requires members of the Legislature and all officers, executive and judicial, to take an oath or affirmation to support the Constitution of the United States be, and the same is hereby, abrogated and annulled.
Section 3. That all rights acquired and vested under the Constitution of the United States, or under any act of Congress passed, or treaty made, in pursuance thereof, or under any law of this State, and not incompatible with this ordinance, shall remain in force and have the same effect as if this ordinance had not been passed.
Section 4. That the people of the State of Mississippi hereby consent to form a federal union with such of the States as may have seceded or may secede from the Union of the United States of America, upon the basis of the present Constitution of the said United States, except such parts thereof as embrace other portions than such seceding States.
Thus ordained and declared in convention the 9th day of January, in the year of our Lord 1861.
Lincoln didn't free anybody.
Fourteenth Amendment explained / Eric Williams
"The cause of the Civil War was not slavery; it was economics."
Maybe there were multiple causes depending on your region, politics, religion, etc.? Maybe things were more complex than neat little declarative statements make it seem? Maybe there were deep, social tensions in our society that had been with us since the start of the republic including abolition, state's rights, economics, taxes, etc.?
The war was started by the slave power. Its proponents had over 4 billion dollars (then year) invested in slaves. The notion that slavery was evil would eventually bring the moral people of the US to forbid slavery in the territories, as had already been done in the Northwest Territory.
The southern slave power desired to profit off their investment. They attempted to invade the territories, and attempted to invade northern states that they did not claim.
They had no case to bring to the supreme court. They sought a decision on the battlefield. They lost.
The south made war to promote and propagate slavery. The US responded to the insurrection, and ending slavery was part of denying the ends of the war to the insurrectionists.
Nope. Actually 0% of the federal budget was derived from tariffs on exports, since the US government has never had a tariff on any export.
Tariffs are paid on imported goods, not exported goods. An Iowa farmer paid exactly the same tax (indirectly) on a tariffed product as an Alabama cotton planter.
Can we please put away this ignorant claim for good?
1. The North was not "industrial" in 1860 except as contrasted with the backward South. A considerable majority of northerners were farmers or involved with services to farmers. Only a minority had anything to do with industry.
2. The South insisted, vociferously, that it was determined to remain agricultural. There was no plot to "force" it to do so.
3. In 1860 white southerners were on average considerably better off than white northerners. If I remember correctly, the per capita income was about 2x than of the North.
After the war the South did indeed remain agricultural and poor for decades, but that was a result of the war itself, not the cause of the war.
By the time of the Civil War, 75% of the Federal budget was derived from tariffs on exports (tobacco and cotton) from southern ports.
By the time of the Civil War, 75% of the Federal budget was derived from tariffs on IMPORTS on goods from Europeans whose shippers were then BUYERS of (tobacco and cotton) from southern ports.
Let us assume your claim is accurate.
Tobacco and cotton dominated exports.
So? How did this constitute oppression of the South?
First of all, claiming "economics" caused secession is like calling slavery a "peculiar institution".
Regardless of what you call it -- "economics" or "peculiar institution" it's still the same thing: slavery.
Sherman Logan post #22: "In 1860 white southerners were on average considerably better off than white northerners.
If I remember correctly, the per capita income was about 2x than of the North."
"spaced", "Phosgood" and others here are suffering long term effects from generations of Neo-Confederate historical revisionist propaganda.
So in their minds they reverse the actual pre-war economic and political situation.
Second, in actual fact, the South had dominated economically and politically since the founding of the Republic.
So in 1860 it was Southern dominance at stake, not some phantasm of alleged Northern "oppression".
For generations, Southern gentlemen had dominated their slaves, and dominated the American Republic, and they well understood that such dominance is maintained only through forceful actions.
Most of my data here comes from James Huston's 2002 book: "Calculating the Value of Union".
In 1860, Northern white per-capita income averaged around $140, in the South around $150.
In the South and North Great Lakes, farmers averaged around 50% of white males, but only 30% in New England and Middle Atlantic states.
Here similarities end.
In a nation with white per-capita annual income of $150, South Carolina's per-capita wealth was nearly $1,900 -- compared to about $500 in New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio.
Mississippi and Louisiana were comparable to South Carolina, while Georgia, Alabama and Florida averaged around $1,000 per-capita.
Even the poorer Southern states like Arkansas, Tennessee and North Carolina, were all as wealthy per-capita as, say, New Jersey, Massachusetts and Illinois.
Yes, it's true, no Southern state was the industrial powerhouse of Northern states like Pennsylvania, Massachusetts and New York, but Southern states like Virginia, Georgia, Maryland and Kentucky all had as many factory workers in 1860 as northern states like Illinois, Indiana and Michigan.
The South's wealth came foremost from slaves, then valued at $3 billion, equal to the value of Southern land itself, and more than double the value of Northern manufacturing and railroads combined.
Considered "economically", slaves were more profitable than any other investment you could think of, especially since they could be hired out to work in factories, on railroads, etc.
And that is precisely the reason Northern "free labor" hated slavery.
Three billion dollars in 1860 was about 20% of all US wealth, equivalent in today's economy to around $10 trillion.
So, for the slave-holders who dominated the South, "economics" meant "our peculiar institution", which meant: slavery.
Point is: one reason Southerners didn't develop as much manufacturing, is because agriculture was the tried and proved method for becoming wealthy.
Finally, it's often pointed out, the South had fewer than half the railroad miles of the North, and these were neither standardized nor interconnected for interstate commerce or strategic military purposes.
True enough, but Southern railroads were intended to move goods and people to their market-places and so more Southerners had access to nearby rail service than their supposedly more advanced Northern cousins.
So my point again is: before 1860, the South dominated the nation economically and politically.
It was this domination (not some sort of "oppression") which was first seriously threatened by Lincoln's election in November 1860, leading South Carolina slave-holders to begin the process of declaring secession, forming a Confederacy then starting and formally declaring war on the United States, May 6, 1861.
re: "So, for the slave-holders who dominated the South, "economics" meant "our peculiar institution", which meant: slavery."
Excellent point and insight.
Sorry, my mistake.
Here is a comparison of Northern versus Southern populations' railroad access:
So the correct point to make is not that Southerners in 1860 typically had more access to railroads than Northerners, but rather that, despite relatively fewer rail miles, in some states, nearly as many Southerners as Northerners could reach a railroad within a few hours.
It should also be noted that the South had a much more extensive network of navigable rivers and therefore less need for railroads to move its goods to market. Of course, as it turned out, in time of war those rivers were a great vulnerability.
I agree with you about the myth of "northern industry." In fact, up through 1850 there was no "north against south" sectional standoff. There was a three-way split, "industrial" (north)East against the agricultural (north)West and South.
The South was normally able to gang up with the West to win its political battles against the East.
Starting in 1850 the South overplayed its hand, insisting that the settled (by the Missouri Compromise) issue of the expansion of slavery be reopened. This turned slavery from a backburner issue into the most important issue of the day, in the process driving away the South's natural agricultural allies in the West.
The eventual result was secession and war.
Excellent point. It should be noted, however, that southerners believed that the only way they could protect their way of life and the "peculiar institution" on which it was based was to maintain that dominance.
They believed it was rule or ruin for them. And they were quite correct in this belief.
The irony, of course, is that their more and more desperate attempts to protect and spread slavery just drove away their natural allies in the West and as a result created the northern coalition that eventually destroyed them.
The Tredegar Iron Works was a historic iron works in Richmond, Virginia, United States of America.[3] Opened in 1837, by 1860 it was the third-largest iron manufacturer in the United States.[4] During the American Civil War, the works served as the primary iron and artillery production facility of the Confederate States of America. The iron works avoided destruction during the Evacuation Fire of 1865, and continued production through the middle of the 20th century.
Tennessee also developed heavy industry.
Tredegar Iron Works, Richmond, VA:
Tennnessee's Cumberland Iron Works:
During the fiscal year ending 1 June 1860, the country possessed some 128,300 industrial establishments. Of these, 110,274 were located in states that remained in the Union. The most heavily industrialized states, New York and Pennsylvania, each had more industry than all the seceding states combined. In 1860, too, America had a total of $1,050,000,000 invested in real and personal property devoted to business, with $949,335,000 concentrated in the North; Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts each had a larger investment than the South as a whole. Finally, the North contributed 92.5% of the $1.9 billion that comprised the total value of annual product in the country in 1860.
It freaked me out when I went the post office today. I couldn't tell if it was a real stamp or some elaborate forgery.
And notice the pun, too. The "forever stamp" picks up on the word "forever" in the Proclamation (though you have to juggle "henceforward" and "thenceforward" to get there).
Part of the problem was that slaves had to be kept ignorant to be slaves.
To be ignorant, was to have low productivity. Agriculture had to be dumbed down so that ignorant slaves could accomplish simple tasks.
Any slave that acquired a knowledge of simple geography could decide to no longer be a slave. Many did. By obtaining papers from Canada, they secured protection from the professional kidnappers that were the hirelings of the slave power.
Meanwhile, the South had somewhere around $3,000,000,000 invested in human capital.
My U.S. Flag 'Forever' stamps say 'Forever.'
Why it is a pun to put 'Forever' on an Emancipation Proclamation 'Forever' stamp?
I understand it was closer to 4 billion$, but don't have the source just now.
That shows how heavily the slave power was invested in slavery. And they pretend that the war started for what?
I understand it was closer to 4 billion$, but don't have the source just now.
That shows how heavily the slave power was invested in slavery. And they pretend that the war started for what?
And recognize that the elimination of chattel slavery didn't kill the slaves. The productive power that existed before the war was still there. Probably the industrious former slaves could increase their education and productivity.
For the investors in slave property, it must have been very painful to no longer be able to profit from that species of misery.
You know: Economics.
economics plural of ec·o·nom·ics (Noun)
1. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and transfer of wealth.
2. The condition of a region or group as regards material prosperity.
3. Slavery.
Yes, the economics of slavery and its imposition on an increasingly unwilling population.
The famous phrase freeing the slaves in rebel territories is "then, thenceforward, and forever free."
So here we have the "forever" of the now-familiar "forever stamps" completing the idea "free forever."
Maybe you had to be there ... or have taken a lot of useless lit classes.
Anyway, here is the last commemorative stamp:
Have 50 years really gone by since?
You could mail a first class letter with one of these.
Check out the price.
When people say the war started over economics, I assume they're using the word economics as an euphemism for slavery.
I doubt the 'forever' on my Lady Liberty Forever Stamps meant that I could use it forever, but the 'forever' on the Emancipation Forever Stamps was cleverly drawn from "then, thenceforward, and forever free."
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
I've seen the $4B number tossed about, but I doubt its accuracy.
There were about 4M slaves, and $4B would require an average price of $1000. My understanding is that is more than a little high, so I use $750 instead.
Here's a really interesting article about slave prices. It points out that comparing prices from one period to another is intrinsically challenging, but using three possible ways of doing so, the $500 average price of a slave in 1850 equates to somewhere between $11,000 and $162,000 today.
I don't think people realize what happened in the South when the slaves were freed. The South had been investing its capital into slaves for many decades, and all of that capital - as capital - suddenly disappeared. Couldn't be used as collateral for a loan or any other purpose.
So while the productive capacity of the region, deducting of course for the immense physical damage caused by the war, was perhaps theoretically higher, decades of capital accumulation had disappeared.
Think of the financial pain caused by the slight decline in wealth caused by our recent housing bubble burst. I have seen figures of perhaps 5% loss in national wealth, much higher of course for many individuals.
When the slaves were freed, the South lost perhaps 1/3 or more of its prewar capital.
The first "forever stamps" were those "First Class Forever" Liberty Bell stamps -- not much ambiguity there.
(That presumes that all the slaves were in states that left the union, and that all the business property invested in union states had nothing to do with slavery, but the disparity is so stark, the argument survives the inaccuracy of the statistics.)
Those were issued in 2011 - in the middle of the First Term of Destruction. May I be 'depressingly literal-minded' and posit that they were to celebrate the centenary of Reagan's birth?
I don't buy stamps much anymore, (goodbye USPS) but if I do, I'll get some of them. Who knows with the way things are going. That 45 cent 'forever' stamp may be worth $100 before long. ;~))
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So, is this an improvisation of BTB's "Deep Dish..." formula, or is it his actual "Thin Crust with Semolina" formula
Really nice pie Garvey! I noticed that every corner piece has a "nub" of sausage on it. Coincidence ?? I think not!
looks like you have a picky eater who refuses to eat meat or party-cut-pie. I know exactly how you feel.
Would I make this again? Meh...probably not. That's not to say it was bad in any way: there are just so many pizzas and such little time.
How much kneading does that formulation call for?
And how about the autolyse--you still doing that?
But baking equipment, techniques, temperature, oven tactics, etc. somehow have to fit into the total equation, which is not easy to describe.
It's funny while I've always loved their pizzas, I've never thought that their crust was particularly spectacular. Good, but not great. It was the other aspects of their pizzas that I always thought were great...It's "lighter and fluffier" as well as a little crisp . . . if that makes any sense. I would be hard pressed to figure out a clone.
I made this again, but this time I used the Pizza Factory sauce, and it really improved. Malnati Factory! Maybe I will try this again after all...


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As is usually the case with major application releases, there is both addition and subtraction. Some features of SharePoint 2010 (pictured) have been removed in 2013, or will be in a future release. These include things such as certain site templates, Web services, and other under-the-hood elements. Microsoft notes that many of the retired features are related to the significant changes to search functionality. The company has published a full list, along with notes, at the Technet site. We recommend you read it prior to kicking off an upgrade.
Microsoft SharePoint, Yammer Get Closer: The Social Story
10 Great Social Features For Microsoft SharePoint 2013
Why One SMB Sticks With Windows XP: Truckload Of Toner
7 SMB Technology Predictions For 2013
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5 Social Business Predictions For 2013
9 Bargain IT Tools For SMBs
Windows 8: 8 Big Benefits For SMBs


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All Request Freakout & Sludge Classic Top 40 Dedications (1/8)
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All Request Freakout & Sludge Classic Top 40 Dedications (1/8)
February 09, 2007 10:46AM
Registered: 10 years ago
Posts: 351
A.R. and Machines- "Truth and Probability" Die Grüne Reise 1970 (9/14/1970- #39-(4 wks.)
Guru Guru featuring "Little" Peggy March- "Der LSD Marsh" Radio Bremen: 21 Sept 1971 (2/25/1971- #4 C&W 6 wks.)
Stooges- "Freak" (1970) Complete Funhouse Sessions Disc 6 (Long Distance Dedication by Carsick James for high school sweetheart Brigitte Fontaine, peaks at #1 on 12/21/2012)
Brainticket- "pt. 2 (Conlcusion)" Cottonwood Hill 1970 (1/2/70- #7 (12.wks Polka Chart)
Godz- "ABC" The Third Testament 1968 (2/30/68- #17 R&B 199 wks./Breakthough single replaced Cromagnon as ESP-Disk's main marketing focus, and,capitalizing upon the youth-oriented appeal of the Godz, ESP-Disk licensed dozens of Godz-related juvenile products, including stickers, sewable patches, posters, and coloring books. A new teen magazine aimed at the free jazz youth, Skronk On!, began publication in 1971, and focused heavily on Godz; at least one God adorned the cover of every issue published between January 1972 and April 1974)
Yoko Ono- "Don't Worry Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking for Her Hand in the Snow)" Fly 1971 (maintains #1 chart position for a remarkable 230 weeks on the WIXY-1260 survey scan (10/19/71)
Fifty Foot Hose- "Bad Trip" A single 1966 (Long Distance Request & Dedication from Ethel of the Abbotswood Stonehenge Pagan Senior Assisted Living and Retirement Center in Sturgis, South Dakota)
Nihilist Spasm Band- "Destroy The Nations" No Record 1968 (It broke
right around Christmas of '68, and slowly climbed to number one by mid-March. The song spent six months on the charts, and sold more than three million copies. In 1994, thanks to the film Forrest Gump, the song reentered the Top 100, becoming the longest-running single in the chart's history, with over 50 weeks total.)
Pink Fairies- "The Snake" (1970) Mandies and Mescaline (The live version of "The Snake" starts the Pink Fairies unequalled string of eleven consecutive number 1s, which will falter only when Englebert Humperdink keeps The Pigs Of Uranus stuck in number 2 four years later.
Amon Duul II- "Luzifers Ghilom" Phallus Dei 1969 (Spent 14 weeks at number one on the U.S., Kraut & Limey Billboard Hot 100 singles chart, one of the longest runs atop the Hot 100 chart in history. During its heyday, the song was played frequently at professional athletic games, rallies, funnerals, conventions, and Bar Mitzvahs. Luzifers Ghilom remained popular through 1970, but by the end of 1971, its popularity had diminished greatly. Amon Duul II broke records once again in 1971 with the release of the "Dehypnotized Toothpaste/A Short Stop At The Transylvania Brain Surgery" single which remained in the Hot 100 chart for 609 weeks.
Carsick James
Re: All Request Freakout & Sludge Classic Top 40 Dedications (1/8)
February 09, 2007 04:24PM
Registered: 10 years ago
Posts: 357
Hey, I think my cousin had a Godz Trapper Keeper!
Some guy at school used to deal WIXY blotter!
It looked kind of like this:
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What would have gone through your mind if you had witnessed Christ's crucifixion?
Among the people there were a Roman centurion and his soldiers, some loyal women who had ministered with Christ, and mocking bystanders. How did they respond to Christ's crucifixion, and why? How come the disciples weren't at the cross?
In this study, John MacArthur gives a vivid presentation of all that happened at our Lord's trials and crucifixion—an account that will actually make you feel like you are there with Jesus. This stirring description of all Christ went through on our behalf has even moved some to tears of gratitude.
Christ's work on the cross—next to His resurrection—is the greatest event that took place in history. Let it come to life for you in Condemned and Crucified.
February 24, 1985 Matthew 27:11-18 2393
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I agree, as Scott123 repeats again and again, thickness factor is key to a great NY pie, which should be light and a bit puffy. For my 16 inch pie, I use a 14 ounce dough ball. The thickness factor is just .07. This has taken some time for me to master. Pythonic, your NY pies look great. Your data is surprising - could you double check for me? 12.5 for a 16 inch pie would be perhaps tf of .06! Wow. I do think some of the best NY places approach this, but it is living dangerously for the home baker! Thanks Mark
Looking good, Nate. What brand of cheese are you using?
Tonight I went to 12.5 oz dough balls for my 14 oz pies. I had two small tears that made a small bit of a mess. However, where I did not have tears, I had my best pies yet. This reinforces what Scott has said all along, TF matters!Thin to win, but gotta handle them carefully fo sho.


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Try out this vibrant Plastic texture set to completely change the look of your worlds: you'll be amazed! (Just be aware that in order to save with this new look you'll have to buy the full version of this pack).
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There are lots of different methods to find out what the shapes are worth - how many can you find?
Think of two whole numbers under 10, and follow the steps. I can work out both your numbers very quickly. How?
Polygons drawn on square dotty paper have dots on their perimeter
(p) and often internal (i) ones as well. Find a relationship
between p, i and the area of the polygons.
Water freezes at 0°Celsius (32°Fahrenheit) and boils at 100°C (212°Fahrenheit). Is there a temperature at which Celsius and Fahrenheit readings are the same?
Think of a number and follow my instructions. Tell me your answer, and I'll tell you what you started with! Can you explain how I know?
A collection of short Stage 3 problems on equations and formulae.


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Tagged: Hayden Simpson Stats
Daytona Cubs Update (as of 5/21/12)
The D-Cubs sloshed their way through a water-logged week of baseball by going 3-3 with a rain out. The D-Cubs have been stuck in neutral for a little while now as they have gone 5-5 in their last 10 games and currently sit in last place in the FSL North Division. One bright spot has been the play of Matt Szczur over the last 10 games. Szczur struggled mightily out of the gates but has turned it around, hitting .316 in his last 10 games with three doubles, a triple, a home run, and three stolen bases.
– George
Daytona Cubs Stats and Standings (as of 5/14/12)
Another team playing well, their place in the standings and overall record might not reflect that but the Daytona Cubs are 6-4 in their last 10 games. The change in fortune for Daytona might start with Matt Szczur who has been on a steady climb after getting out of the gates slowly this year. Over his last ten games Szczur has three multi-hit games and he is hitting .286 over that span.
Full stats:
Thanks for reading,
– George
Daytona Cubs Stats and Standings (as of 5/7/12)
Daytona Cubs Stats and Standings (as of 4/30/12)
Daytona is struggling, and it is showing up in the standings as they sit in last place, 11 games out of first. No better time to turn it around then today, full standings and stats after the jump.


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Versions available for this page: CUBRID 8.3.0 | CUBRID 8.3.1 | CUBRID 8.4.0 | CUBRID 8.4.1 | CUBRID 8.4.3 | CUBRID 9.0.0 |
You can specify the REUSE_OID option when creating a table, so that OIDs that have been deleted due to the deletion of records (DELETE) can be reused when a new record is inserted (INSERT). Such a table is called an OID reusable or a non-referable table.
OID (Object Identifier) is an object identifier represented by physical location information such as the volume number, page number and slot number. By using such OIDs, CUBRID manages the reference relationships of objects and searches, stores or deletes them. When an OID is used, accessibility is improved because the object in the heap file can be directly accessed without referring to the table. However, the problem of decreased reusability of the storage occurs when there are many DELETE/ INSERT operations because the object's OID is kept to maintain the reference relationship with the object even if it is deleted.
If you specify the REUSE_OID option when creating a table, the OID is also deleted when data in the table is deleted, so that another INSERTed data can use it. OID reusable tables cannot be referred to by other tables, and OID values of the objects in the OID reusable tables cannot be viewed.
--creating table with REUSE_OID option specified
CREATE TABLE reuse_tbl (a INT PRIMARY KEY) REUSE_OID;
INSERT INTO reuse_tbl VALUES (1);
INSERT INTO reuse_tbl VALUES (2);
INSERT INTO reuse_tbl VALUES (3);
--an error occurs when column type is a OID reusable table itself
CREATE TABLE tbl_1 ( a reuse_tbl);
ERROR: The class 'reuse_tbl' is marked as REUSE_OID and is non-referable. Non-referable classes can't be the domain of an attribute and their instances' OIDs cannot be returned.
--an error occurs when a table references a OID reusable table
CREATE TABLE tbl_2
(b int, FOREIGN KEY(b) REFERENCES reuse_tbl(a) ON CACHE OBJECT oid_value);
INSERT INTO tbl_2(b) VALUES(1);
SELECT oid_value.a FROM tbl_2;
ERROR: The class 'reuse_tbl' is marked as REUSE_OID and is non-referable. Non-referable classes can't be the domain of an attribute and their instances' OIDs cannot be returned.


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Interested in working for KCTCS? Explore job openings across all our colleges at anytime!
The Kentucky Community and Technical College System is an equal educational and employment opportunity institution and does not discriminate on the basis of; race, religion, color, sex, national origin, age, disability, family medical history, or genetic information. Further, we vigilantly prevent discrimination based on sexual orientation, parental status, marital status, political affiliation, military service, or any other non-merit based factor.


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Update: Fourth Suspect Charged In Sunday Assault; Botched Drug Deal Cited
A fourth suspect has been charged in the Sunday assault and robbery at the Charlestown Apartments in the city.
Jamestown police believe a drug deal gone bad resulted in the attack.
William D. Sloppy, 28, of Jamestown was charged Tuesday with fourth-degree conspiracy. Sloppy was being held in Jamestown City Jail awaiting arraignment.
Jamestown police on Tuesday also charged Stacey L. Simmers, 31, of Warren, Pa., for her role in the incident. Police at 1 a.m. took Simmers into custody without incident. She was charged with first-degree robbery and fourth-degree conspiracy after being located at an East Second Street residence.
Police said a male on Sunday was planning to meet a group of people at the Charles Street apartment complex. According to Capt. Robert Samuelson of the Jamestown Police Department, it is believed the gathering was for a drug deal. The victim, who has not been identified, was assaulted and robbed.
Police on Monday charged Malek A. Morley, 18, and Kyle R. Senear, 18, with first-degree robbery, second-degree assault and fourth-degree conspiracy in the attack.
See Wednesday's edition of The Post-Journal for complete coverage.


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Comprehensive DescriptionRead full entry
Comprehensive Description
The Flamingo Tongue Snail (Cyphoma gibbosum) is a common and easily recognized gastropod mollusk found in shallow waters of the tropical western Atlantic. It has a bright orange, white, and black pattern on the mantle folds that cover the shell in life. It feeds as an ectoparasite on a broad range of octocorals, with at least 21 alcyonacean octocoral host species known (Rosenberg 1989; Reijnen et al. 2010). However, some octocorals appear to be avoided entirely and Flamingo Tongue Snails are unevenly distributed among the corals on which they are found. Lasker et al. (1988) suggested that in addition to actual feeding preferences, a number of other factors (such as intraspecific social interactions and predator avoidance) likely influence the host associations of these snails. Nowlis (1993) found, for example, that both mate searching and oviposition behavior can influence host associations.
At least parts of a Flamingo Tongue Snail are distasteful to at least some predators and it seems likely that the striking coloration of these snails is aposematic (i.e., functions as a warning signal to potential predators) (Rosenberg 1989; Guilford and Cuthill 1991; Rosenberg 1991). However, some predators apparently do consume these snails. Burkepile and Hay (2007) found that when large predatory fishes and invertebrates were excluded from portions of a coral reef in the Florida Keys (U.S.A.), Flamingo Tongue Snail population densities increased 19-fold and grazing damage to gorgonian corals was far more frequent and extensive. Thus, predators of these snails appear to be indirectly protecting the corals, with the implication that overfishing of these predators could be very detrimental to gorgonian corals as well.
The Flamingo Tongue Snail lays its eggs singly in clear, domed capsules and the young emerge as free-swimming larvae (Rehder 1981).


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Home > Information Center > Press Releases > Apr-19-06 Hughes Announces County Funding to Mercer County College to Reduce Tuition Increase
Apr-19-06 Hughes Announces County Funding to Mercer County College to Reduce Tuition Increase
TRENTON, N.J.—Mercer County Executive Brian M. Hughes and the Board of Chosen Freeholders announced today that the County would divert an additional $550,000 of County surplus funds to Mercer County Community College (MCCC) in order to lessen an expected tuition increase to be announced at tomorrow's Board of School Estimate meeting in which tuition rates must be set.
"Given the announced cut in state funding of 11% towards MCCC, we are including this additional funding to the budget of Mercer County Community College so that we can keep the opportunity of higher education within reach for all County residents", began Hughes. "While we still hope that the cut funding is restored by the State Legislature during the budget process, we felt that we needed to take action now to keep our best and brightest here in Mercer County and to prevent an education at MCCC from becoming cost-prohibitive".
The $550,000 in funding from Mercer County will be in addition to the more than $12 million dollars in County funding that is already allotted to MCCC in the 2006 budget. The additional funding will come out of the County surplus fund. Prior to the additional funding, tuition rates were expected to increase $12 per tuition hour. With the additional funding, tuition rates will only increase by $7 per tuition hour.
"This Freeholder Board continues to take an active interest in the education of students in Mercer County", added Freeholder Chairman Keith Hamilton. "In order to keep education affordable, we're making every effort to move money out of surplus to reduce the tuition increase at Mercer County Community College from 12 dollars per credit hour to 7 dollars per credit hour".


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Clinics Introduce Judo To Vets In Chicago and San Diego
Military veterans were joined by Paralympic athletes at a USA Judo clinic held at Menomonee Judo in Chicago Saturday, the latest in a series of these training camps designed to introduce judo to wounded warriors and visually impaired athletes.
Among those working with the veterans and other athletes in Chicago were U.S. Paralympic Bronze medalist Dartanyon Crockett and Eddie Liddie, USA Judo's Director of High Performance.
"I had so much fun trying Judo for the first time," said Army Veteran Octavia Mitchell. "I want to thank the organizations that made this opportunity possible. I'll definitely be doing Judo again soon."
" It was a great day at the dojo. Anytime you can get such a diverse group of participants working and learning together, that's what it's all about," said Brett Wolf, head instructor of the Menomonee Judo Club - Paralympic National Training Site.
"Dartanyon and Sensei Ed did a wonderful job of running the workshop. I learned a lot of things that I'm going to work on and implement the next time that I compete," said Howard Wilson, Marine and member of the 2013 ParaPan American Team member.
The program in Chicago followed a week of clinics at the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista, CA, where more than 150 U.S. military veterans from across the country stepped on the mats for classes led by Paralympic Silver Medalist Myles Porter and local coaches from San Diego. The judo clinics were part of the 6th annual National Veterans Summer Sports Clinic held at the OTC.
"Working with this military group is a great and humbling honor," said Porter. Some of the veterans he trained had combat spinal injuries. Others had post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and visual impairments. "Not only do I get to meet the men and women who sacrificed for this amazing country, I also get to help spread the sport and make it better."
The multi-sport clinic includes sailing, surfing, track and field, cycling in addition to judo, all of it geared toward introducing injured veterans to the possibilities available in these sports.


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The 2012 NBA offseason has come to a close as the preseason activities have finally begun. Training camp battles have ensued, exhibition games are soon to transpire and the molding and shaping of rosters is underway.
Not all are excited for this news, however, as a surplus of veterans remain without a team. Some of whom have names that you would never expect to have been left homeless on the NBA's landscape.
For some, stardom is a distant memory and the struggle to stand out is now an equally difficult fight for a spot on a roster. For others, the money and opportunity that they have been offered simply isn't up to par with their personal standards.
Regardless of what the reason is, the following 10 slides will offer insight into the Top 10 NBA free agents that remain on the market.


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Margaret Masci, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Wellspring Counseling of the Finger Lakes 8732 Main St. , Honeoye, New York 14471
Many couples lose their way. As we get so busy with jobs, the home, children or other demands, it is easy to lose touch, lose sight, feel lonely. Frequent arguing where nothing seems to get resolved or problems with finances, lack of intimacy, or substance abuse, can all take their toll. Or perhaps you are "empty nesters" who have lost the connection you once had. Don't give up on each other or on the relationship. It is never too late to reconnect, to try again. Learn through proven strategies/techniques, how to grow closer, perhaps closer than you have been for long time. THERE ARE SOLUTIONS! Find yours. Call to see how I can help.


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Bulldog Security 802 Micro Alarm
by Bulldog | Item #: 160050 | Model #: 802 |
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About this itemProtect you and your vehicle with Bulldog Security's 802 Micro Alarm.
Protect yourself and your vehicle with Bulldog Security's 802 Micro Alarm. The package includes one remote transmitter and a built-in 127db siren. System features include full-time panic button, remote car finder, onboard adjustable current & shock sensors and antenna range up to 400 feet. The compact design fits all vehicles and installs with just two wires - no tools or experience required.
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May 22, 2013
In the summer of 2012, Samsung Mobile was launching the Galaxy S III smartphone four short months before Apple's eagerly anticipated iPhone 5 launch. Samsung Mobile was tasked with gaining overall marketshare for its new flagship device and stealing Apple's thunder.
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Hobby People takes pride in bringing you the best in transmitter technology. We offer the full line of Airtronics 2.4GHz radio control systems, as well as radio control systems from Hitec, Futaba and others. Shop here for your transmitter and transmitter accessories, including 2.4GHz receivers, digital servos, trainer cords, neck straps and much more!
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Condition: 9/10
Color: Blue
Upgrades: CCM Deluxe Pump Kit, Hyper 2 Regulator, CP On/Off
Known Problems: Needs to be resprung/chrono'd
Asking Price: 175 OBO
Shipping Options: Open to discuss
Trades of interest: CASH ONLY
Location of item: Chicago, IL
What is Included: Autococker, possibly barrel
SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY. I'm getting extremely tired of offers and then backing out after 5 minutes.
Edited by PbMilker, 30 September 2012 - 10:51 PM.


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Artist Collection: (20 of 545)< Previous | Next >
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work 55by philip gresham
- Medium
- Traditional
- Artist Notes
- Acrylics On 300lb Hot Press Hannemuhle Acid free Velour Paper. 30X40in.
- Contact Artist Send Artist an Email
More about philip gresham
- Location
- new york, united states
- Artist Biography
- Philip Gresham, United States I create images that concentrate on form and symmetry, rich in color to evoke conscious intellectual projections. Art that unfolds and swirls into their own copious forms vividly bring abstract and formal concepts to life. Enveloping timeless beauty. Innovative w ...


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#1 – Crab Soccer
Anyone who's ever participated in or watched a children's soccer game knows that they're absolute debacles. Weak passing. Disinterested goalkeeping. Fifteen kids following the ball in a tightly bunched knot, while the remaining players sit on the field and pick dandelions. Soccer may be the beautiful game, but it's never been so ugly.
Yet for some reason, crab soccer is awesome. What could be better than seeing a bunch of kids crabwalk around on all fours, trying to kick a ball? The fundamentals are no worse than in actual youth soccer, and the kids get the fun benefit of occasionally stomping on each other's fingers or kicking someone in the face. In fact, we're pretty sure we could talk ourselves into getting excited for the Crab World Cup every four years.
#2 – Getting Hit in the Face with a Dodgeball
Sure, it looks like it will hurt. Does it really, though? Only a little*, and once your nose stops bleeding, you barely even feel it anymore. The few seconds of stinging are more than worth it because they allow you to take part in the best gym class activity of them all: getting out of gym class.
What sort of monstrous coach would make you keep playing after you took a dodgeball to the mouth? That would be downright cruel. No, better to hit the showers, then sit out for the rest of the day. Relax, unwind, have a snack, read a magazine, and laugh at all those poor bastards who didn't have the good fortune to be hit in the face with a rubber ball.
*Unless you wore glasses, in which case your face was covered in lacerations.
#3 – Red Rover
Past generations of kids didn't have to wear seatbelts, were constantly around second-hand smoke, and munched on tasty lead paint chips whenever their appetites demanded it. Sure, parents now know better, but none of those activities is anywhere close to as dangerous as playing a single game of Red Rover. Could anyone other than an orthopedic surgeon have invented this game?
"Alright, Janey and Bill, here's what you do: rigidly hold your weak little still-growing arms out rigidly at your sides. We're going to have another kid run into your arm at full speed. If he can't break through, you'll feel the sweet reward of victory. Also, a shattered humeris."
The game is so much fun that it's a shame that for the sake of efficiency, future generations of children won't even play Red Rover. The gym teacher will simply select one child at random, break both his arms, and then have the rest of the kids do something useful, like practice sending each other dirty text messages.
#4 – Parachute
Quick, everybody grab a handle of this giant colorful nylon sheet! Now we'll rhythmically raise and lower it. Got it? That's the whole game. Maybe Coach will toss some tennis balls onto the parachute and call it "popcorn," maybe not. Either way, simply raising and lowering this sail will be the most fun you have all day.
Maybe it's the hypnotic waving of the colors. Maybe it's the old-fashioned fun of repeatedly raising your arms. No one can really say. Like a mother's love, the gym class parachute isn't something you should deconstruct or analyze too closely. Just raise it, lower it, and appreciate that at the end of the day, kids are really, really easily entertained. Plus, it's great job training for the 0.0000001% of students who will someday become paratroopers! And even better training for those who will be Don't Ask, Don't Tell-style paratroopers!
#5 – Avoiding Taking a Shower
Sure, Coach says, "Hit the showers," at the end of every class, but that's got to just be a figure of speech, right? He doesn't really expect you to shower with all these other guys, does he? Some of them have already hit puberty! And they'll hit you with a towel or something. We saw it in a movie!
Best to avoid that briar patch altogether. Just pull off your gym uniform, slap on a little new deodorant, and head back to your normal classes. After those quick passes with the Degree no one will even notice that your body is covered with dried sweat. If anyone asks what that smell is, just laugh and say, "Must be the cafeteria." Quick thinking there, stinky!
#6 – Steal the Bacon
Poor fat kid. He's already the object of everyone's scorn and contempt, and then comes the crowning injustice: this game doesn't involve bacon at all. The "bacon" is just some damn flag that two lines of kids are trying to run out and grab. You can't eat that! You can't eat a flag! At least not without mayo!
To be sure, the absence of real bacon is a shortcoming of this game. What redeems it, then? The absolute certainty of two kids running headlong into each other while trying to grab the "bacon" from the ground. Think the NFL's infamous helmet-to-helmet hits are brutal? Well, they're infinitely more entertaining when you remove those pesky helmets and let cranium strike cranium.
Little Billy went from being a promising student to a drooling vegetable after taking a shot to the noggin during that round of Steal the Bacon, but was it worth it? Of course! What's the higher brain functioning of one measly kid matter when the other 28 have learned a valuable lesson about how to swipe pork products? These are the skills we'll really need in a post-apocalyptic world.
#7 – Not Being Picked Last
Sure, the actual games in gym class might not be much to watch, but the pageantry and heated competition of this event more than makes up for it. Watch as the nerdy kids and the uncoordinated kids jockey for position as the more popular, athletic kids pick sides. Watch them puff out their scrawny chests to appear stronger and stand up straight to look taller!
They'll do anything to avoid a fate worse than death: being picked last for dodgeball. That's the sort of thing that will turn a 9 year-old into the school's biggest social pariah. At least until someone breaks wind during a spelling test. Then Mr. Picked Last will be off the hook.
#8 – Volleyball
When played by competent volleyballers, this game can be exciting to play and fun to watch. When played by your average gym class, it's even better in its own way. There will be three good players — max — in any 30-person class, yet Coach will insist that you spend a week playing volleyball. It sounds terrible at first, until you realize that "playing volleyball" is really just a code for "standing around" when everyone's awful at it.
Sure, you'll have to occasionally take your turn serving the ball out of bounds or into the net, but after that, you're just one rotation away from 15 sweet minutes of inactivity as the ball thuds harmlessly to the floor over and over again. You won't even break a sweat! It's the next best thing to forgetting your gym clothes and being "punished" by having to sit out for the day.
#9 – Tennis Baseball
It's exactly the same as baseball, except instead of a baseball and a bat you use a tennis ball and a racket. This is the sort of innovation that makes gym teachers excited to wake up in the morning. It's all the fun of baseball with none of the strikeouts, injuries, or excruciating cycles of steroids and growth hormones!
Plus, it enables the school to get some return on all those tennis rackets they bought when the principal had a hunch that the Agassi-Sampras rivalry was going to make tennis relevant again for the kids. It didn't, but tennis baseball saves the rackets from their only other potential use: rousing games of Let's Hit Each Other With These Tennis Rackets.
#10 – Being the Early Onset Puberty Kid
Hands down, this is the best possible activity in gym class. He may only be 9 years-old, a mere speck of humanity, but when it comes to gym class, the world is Early Onset Puberty Kid's oyster. His towering 5'5″ height makes him borderline unstoppable in any game he plays, and the wispy mustache that's sprouting in spotty patches on his lip gives him an intimidation factor the other kids can't match. For a year or two, this kid is Wilt Chamberlain, Albert Pujols, and Peyton Manning rolled into one.
Inevitably, the other kids will catch up to him, and by the time he's 17 he'll be a short 5'5″ man who's already losing his hair thanks to the surplus of testosterone that helped him grow so quickly, but man, he'll never forget his fifth grade gym class heroics. He'll tell his kids about them some day. Or he would if anyone wanted to procreate with a short, balding man whose life peaked at age 11.
#11 – Climbing the Rope
Lots of gym class activities don't really translate very well into students' adult lives; while crab soccer may be fun, it's never really going to help anyone out of a jam. Climbing up a rope, though? It teaches all sorts of valuable skills: how to recover from a rope burn, how best to pad one's fall from a high distance, the easiest way to look up a classmate's shorts … these are lessons students will employ literally every single day in their adult lives. When it's time to climb out of a fiery pit of lava on little more than a long hanging rope — and mark our words, it will eventually be that time — you'll thank your gym teacher.
Of course, when it's your turn to climb up the rope, it's no fun. The rest of the period is a comedy goldmine, though, as one student after another makes it halfway up, loses their grip, and comes crashing down with a resounding thud of failure. (Imagine the sound of a cantaloupe dropping onto a sidewalk.) Plus, the rope climb often gives way to an even more fun activity: Guess What That Kid Broke in His Fall.
#12 – Making Fun of the Fat Kid
Make no mistake: it's a hard life being the fat kid. He's perpetually short of breath, and with a physique like that he'll be lucky to make it to his 25th birthday without having a massive heart attack. Childhood obesity is a grave, tragic problem that affects far too many children in this country.
That being said, man, is it ever funny to have one of these tubs of goo in your gym class! It's really kind of the whole point of gym. There's always something to mock! No matter how far he kicks the ball in kickball, he can never quite waddle to first base in time. In any other sport he'll be consigned to playing catcher or goalie, not so much because he's particularly good at catching, but because his swollen body has the most surface area. Just wait until he tries to be the anchor of his tug-of-war team. The moment he falls down will be funnier than history's 20 best YouTube videos combined.
The exercising fat kid hits his absolute apex if your gym class ever has to use a swimming pool, though. Not wanting to be mocked for his extreme girth, chubso will invariably wear a t-shirt into the pool. Smart thinking, fatty! A sopping wet white t-shirt will totally conceal your heaving boy boobs; that's why wet t-shirt contests are so unpopular. With your brains and body, you're sure to go far!
#13 – Running Laps
Nothing says, "Coach drank too much last night and spent the night sleeping outside his ex-wife's house" quite as clearly as the announcement that today's gym class will involve running laps. Nevermind that your average gym student can run about three laps before running out of breath and wheezing to a halt; coach doesn't want to hear any lip today. Just run those laps.
Of course, "running laps" gradually turns into "walking around the gym or the track in a vaguely circular pattern," which gives way to "standing around" before making a natural transition back to everyone's favorite game: Making Fun of the Fat Kid. Sorry, dude. Barring some sort of dramatic Jerry O'Connell turnaround, the rest of your life is going to be like this, so you might as well get used to it now. At least coach is grateful that you're letting him burn off his hangover in peace. He might not call you "Chunk" anymore. Don't count on it, though.
#14 – President's Physical Fitness Test
Remember this gem? One gym day out of every year, you'd have to prove your mettle to the President himself — be advised: you personally disappointed President Clinton several times — by performing a series of exercises. Do them well enough and you got a little certificate saying you won the Presidential Physical Fitness Award.
If you couldn't do them? No big deal. You were probably good at other things, like eating brownies, crying, and being terrible at life.
Now, though? Everyone gets an award. Everyone! Even the kids who are awful at everything. They win the "Participant Physical Fitness Award." There's an honor to put on your resume! Here's the program's actual delightfully condescending text for the award: "Woo hoo! There's room for improvement, but these students showed great heart. Students earn this award if they participate in all five activities, and one or more of their scores fall below the 50th percentile." In other words, "Congratulations on not dying during this easy exam. You are America's hope for the future!" Now that's fun!
#15 – Staying in the Locker Room to Hide an Erection
Girls get to sit out of gym when they're having their periods, but the school board stubbornly refuses to recognize "having a boner" as a medical condition. Between boxer shorts, gym shorts, and being 13, you've got no chance of hiding your hard-on, so your only chance is hiding in the locker room until it goes away on its own. Try thinking about something unsexy, like the humiliation that definitely awaits you once the dodgeball game gets started. Maybe even ask a good friend to pelt you with the dodgeball directly on the penis. Otherwise, you could just try hiding somewhere that nobody would think to look. The smart money's on the locker room shower.


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- Ample 3" shapeable brim
- Weathered cotton offers a rugged outdoor style
- Chin cord with adjustable toggle
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- Circumference: M-22 3/8"; L-23 1/8"; XL-24"
- Spot clean
- Imported
- Rated UPF 50+
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Here's how RW members rated this race in the past (16 votes).
In short: Interesting first half, dull second halfIn full: This is the second time I have entered this event. It is very well organised, marshalled and provisioned. The supply of water and gels is among the most generous you will find in any event. The downside to the event is the course. The first half is undulating, but goes through some interesting places. The second half, while being flat, unfortunately is a bit dull and this makes it difficult mentally, as not only are you trying to fight fatigue, you are also fighting boredom. Not much the organisers can do about that, after all, that's the geography of the area, but it does make a difference to the overall enjoyment of the event. Date of review: September 3, 2012
In short: Perfect choice for my first full marathonIn full: Many thanks to all who helped make this such an excellent race. Well marshalled, and plenty of water and gel stations. The weather was perfect, and made for a really scenic run.Date of review: September 3, 2012
In short: Excellently organised, very supportive and numerous marshalls - a very well run race. Would highly recommend. Course pretty challenging but worth the effort.Date of review: September 3, 2012
In short: Great Race, good atmosphere and an interesting courseIn full: Not to split hairs but my garmin made the full 42.65 km long and no chip timing? I'm just bitter cos I missed 3:30 by 4 seconds :)Date of review: September 3, 2012
In short: 4th time and I'll look forward to being backIn full: I love running by the sea and this is a really nice route. You can see that this race is organised by a friendly club, experienced in both running in events and organising their own.Date of review: September 3, 2012
In short: I do like to be beside the seasideIn full: Lovely race. Mostly on well tarmaced footpaths and promenades, back and forth along the coast. There was plenty of water and gels, plenty of marshals, t-shirt, medal, goody bag. A couple of short sharp inclines, but nothing bad enough to spoil the fun. Date of review: September 2, 2012
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Search Results for: teens-and-allergies
Tween-Age Asthma
Sometimes at school, you don't want other kids to see you with your inhaler. But you need your medication. What to do? We asked certified asthma educators Ingrid Baerg and Angela Alexander for some tips. First tip: The great thing about asthma is that if you learn to control it, asthma won't control you. Some […]
A Teen Reporter's View of FAAN Teen Summit
Intrepid teen reporter Morgan Smith goes inside the FAAN Teen Summit for the low-down on peer pressure, dating and getting up the nerve to take part in an allergy clinical trial.
Kissing and Allergic Teens
From the Allergic Living archives. First published in the magazine in 2005. Teenagers with allergies learn to ask questions before they move in for a kiss. After all, there's nothing like a sudden reaction to spoil the mood. These are prime dating years for 16-year-old Lisa Gordon, an outgoing Grade 11 student from a northern […]


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>Runner's World - My Event Ratings>
In short: Fantastic! Lovely weather added to an excellent runIn full: First time for me doing a half maathon, having built on a recent Great South Run. I know Gosport, so I know what the scenery is like, but its nice to see the views over the Solent from a different point of view. All round the course, the marshalls were friendly and helpful, pointing us all in the right direction. Water in cups - I need to practise that one, but again - superbly organised; with many thanks to the friendly guys with the wine gums at Mile 9+.This was a PB for me being a first time, but I reckon I could easily shave a few minutes of this next time round, due to the excellent layout of the course. Is that a challenge.. YES IT IS! Hope to see you all again next year.Of course, never has a capri sun and fruit cake tasted SO GOOD!Date of review: November 19, 2012
In short: A fun, enjoyable race, through the spooky side of PortsmouthIn full: In short, many thanks to Rob Piggot for organising this one. Many people turned out in fancy dress, which added to the atmosphere. Rob led the way in his mad jesters outfit and dissapeared into the dark on his bike. Loads of people dressed up in costume doing their best to scare the runners. I felt sorry for whoever was at the front, as I could hear plenty of screaming! A head torch is a must, especially in the darkest parts of the forest, but it also helps if you run with a friend, or keep close ot the person in front. The medal, as promised, was second to none, and combined with the sweet toffee apple, made for a memorable race. Get yourself in for this next year. Dont aim for a PB. Its not what this race is about. Its about having fun and dressing up. Many thanks once again to Rob for organising this.Date of review: November 7, 2012
In short: Excelltne race with friendly, welcoming supportIn full: I entered this back in January, not knowing what to expect as a first time race. It was clear where to go, and where to wait for the start - but then I am perhaps biased as a Portsmouth based runner. There were complaints about baggage stowage and the time this took for people to get through. This prevented me from meeting people who had travelled as they were stuck in baggage. I've also heard criticism about wave control. Simple solution for me. If you want to run, get there early and try to get near the front of your wave. This worked for me, and I achieved a great first time race without having to squeeze past too many walkers. All in all, I would recommend this. Only criticism for me... The cost! Problems is, as long as people are prepared to pay this every year, the race will always sell out. Its a win win sitiation for the Great Run team.Date of review: November 7, 2012
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Knight Capital Group: Buyout Fight Winner
NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- Knight Capital Group (KCG) was the Wall Street winner on Wednesday, with shares rising 15% to close at $3.41.
Knight Capital Group, which is headquartered in New Jersey, received a takeout bid of $3.50 a share in cash and stock from competitor Getco Securities, which was 18% above Knight's closing price of $2.97 on Tuesday.
Knight Capital Group was rescued by a group of investors including Getco, Stifel Financial (SF) , TD Ameritrade (AMTD) and Blackstone (BX) , which collectively provided $400 million in capital after Knight in August announced a $440 million loss after a trading glitch caused the company to make what CEO Thomas Joyce called "a ton of orders, all erroneous," which the company had to unwind.
The Wall Street Journal reported Virtu Financial LLC has also made a bid for Knight Capital Group, so investors might be treated to a bidding war for the firm.
Following KBW analyst Niamh Alexander upgraded Knight Capital to a "Market Perform" rating from "Underperform," while raising her price target for the shares to $2.60 from $2.25, saying that "If Virtu and Getco are considering buying the market-maker unit, we think that this would fit strategically with what these privately owned trading firms are doing."
Alexander said that other potential bidders for Knight Capital Group's market making business include Citigroup (C) and UBS (UBS) . The analyst's "sum of the parts analysis" of Knight indicates "a potential price ranging from $2.60 to $3.74," and that the "estimated valuation range or sale price range for the market making and institutional sales units could range from $1.71 to $2.49," while the "the electronic execution services units could fetch between $0.89 and $1.25 per share."
The analyst added that "our gut would be to focus more on the low end of these ranges, given not all of the corporate expenses may be eliminated."
The broad indexes strengthened late in the session to end with 1% gains on Wednesday, after President Obama spoke about the Fiscal Cliff at a White House event, saying he believed "that both parties can agree on a framework that does that in the coming weeks. In fact, my hope is to get this done before Christmas."
The KBW Bank Index (I:BKX) rose slightly to close at 48.50, with all but five index components seeing gains.
-- Written by Philip van Doorn in Jupiter, Fla.
>Contact by Email.


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Cease wrote:I'm ashamed to mention they fired Chloe today. She's an intern and mistakenly threw down that she wanted A) Gas Money to get to show (weeeeeak move) and/or B) a bigger piece of airtime. Hammer wasn't havin' it, called her bluff. She gone. Mildly amusing.
Awesome. Hopefully the next overrated hillbilly Rizzo brings in will at least have some reading talent.


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"Are we prepared to promote conditions in which the living contact with God can be reestablished? For our lives today have become godless to the point of complete vacuity. God is no longer with us in the conscious sense of the word. He is denied, ignored, excluded from every claim to have a part in our daily life." - Alfred Delp, S.J.
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Economic Justice Project
NNEDV's Economic Justice Project works to strengthen victim advocates' financial capabilities to better assist survivors of domestic violence move from short-term safety to long-term security, and to an economically sustainable independent life. NNEDV's Economic Justice Project employs its signature "train-the-trainer" approach to deliver financial literacy lessons to victim advocates across the U.S. NNEDV's Economic Justice Project also uses its exclusive listservs and newsletter to inform victim advocates about personal finance tools, resources, and the most recent research available in the field of financial literacy and capability.
Economic Justice Technical Assistance & Online Resource Platform:
NNEDV's Economic Justice Project delivers financial literacy and economic justice resources and information to its members and the general public via NNEDV's website, exclusive listservs, webinars, presentations and one-one-one technical assistance. The Economic Justice Project also compiles and organizes relevant research on a wide-range of financial literacy topics; and engages in a variety of outreach activities to help give survivors a voice with financial education stakeholders at the national level. This project is greatly enhanced through the ongoing commitment of dedicated partners that support projects to end domestic violence, and to empower survivors with the financial education and economic tools and resources they need to achieve financial independence.
NNEDV's Economic Justice Partnership with The Allstate Foundation:
In partnership with The Allstate Foundation and the U.S. state and territorial coalitions against domestic violence, NNEDV's Economic Justice Project delivers financial literacy information with tools like the Moving Ahead Through Financial Management curriculum, webinars, and grants that support economic justice and empowerment programs for survivors of abuse.
Since 2005 NNEDV's Economic Justice Project has coordinated and provided technical assistance for the following Allstate Foundation grant programs:
- The Moving Ahead Through Financial Management Curriculum Grant Program provides curriculum materials and funding support to state coalitions that work with local programs to train advocates in their state. To date, more than 600 domestic violence victim advocates have been trained to teach survivors financial skills, and thousands of survivors are using this resource nationwide.
- The Moving Ahead Economic Empowerment Grant Program has awarded over $2.3 million to state-wide coalitions against domestic violence to help survivors become economically independent from their abusers and to research domestic violence and economic abuse to support new services. Grant focus areas include matched savings programs, financial education, micro-enterprise and job readiness programs.
Read more about the exciting partnership with NNEDV and the Allstate Foundation Economic Empowerment for Domestic Violence Survivors Program.


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Rhino Upright Manlift
Condition: FAIR
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