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Vodka Cocktails: The Bloody Mary
Whip up this classic Bloody Mary recipe for brunch, a game-day tailgate or just a cozy Saturday in! Watch this video to master this classic recipe.
-You can't do brunch without Bloody Marys. I'm going to show you how to make a classic version and also how to tweak it to your own taste. All you need is vodka, Worcestershire sauce, tomato juice, lemon, cayenne pepper, and some salt and pepper. You're going to start with a highball glass filled with ice and add about 2 ounces of vodka and about 4 ounces of tomato juice, a little more, and stir. Next, you're going to add a squeeze of lemon. Add a dash of cayenne pepper and some Worcestershire sauce to taste. Stir that up. Now, for your garnish, you can add the classic celery stick or I also like to add dill, pickles, or pickled okra. The garnish is just a little something extra to munch on when your drink is done and you're ready to make another. Cheers!


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Anyone ever use any iPhone apps in their production???? For example moog makes some filters you can use, and there are tons of synths out their, just curious to hear your thoughts on this and any examples I can hear on anything! Thnx!!!!! 88!
iPhone apps
Started by ceethechef , Mar 06 2012 05:05 AM
5 replies to this topic
Posted 06 March 2012 - 05:05 AM
Posted 06 March 2012 - 08:55 PM
One of my buddies makes beats on his iphone. Until he actually tells me, 'I did this on an app', I usually can't tell any difference. To each his own!
Posted 07 March 2012 - 04:50 AM
I wouldn't actually use it in place of my mpc, but I'll use it to run audio thru, I'll just test it out fuck it, it's 10$ for the mood filters lol
Posted 07 March 2012 - 04:56 AM
Posted 10 March 2012 - 10:51 AM
I've tried a few apps on iPhone and there are some great ones out there, but I never use them for production. I just can't get away from Ableton Live on a big ass screen.
Posted 17 March 2012 - 09:20 PM
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subset: commoncrawl


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Welcome to the virtual home of Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal Church, the National Cathedral of African Methodism. We are physically located near the White House, Congress and Supreme Court—seats of executive, legislative, and judicial authority in the United States. Our ancestors thoughtfully bequeathed this ministry and location to us at the intersection of the history and future of African Americans with the power corridors of the nation. The church must be about ministries of justice that change the social and political reality.
We have been bearing witness to the sovereign God through praiseful worship, spreading the power of the gospel message to liberate the oppressed, and serving humanity since 1838. Ours is a Sankofa ministry with a theology of location. We are looking to our ancestral past while joyfully embracing the possibilities and challenges of the future. We invite you to become a part of our story.
Please worship with us in person or via live stream on Sundays at 7:45 am and 11:00 am and on Wednesdays at 12:00 noon. Church School convenes on Sundays at 9:30 am and Bible Study is held on Wednesdays at 7:00 pm.
In July and August, there is one Worship Service at 10:30 am, Church School at 9:00 am, and no Bible Study. For more information, please call 202-331-1426.


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Transportation Worker Identification Credential (TWIC)
An individual who holds a Transportation Worker Identification Credential (TWIC) may be eligible to pay a reduced fee when applying for a Hazardous Materials Endorsement (HAZMAT) on their Virginia commercial driver's license. This is because he or she may forgo the portion of the security threat assessments (fingerprinting and background check) already completed during the application process for the TWIC.
If an individual uses his/her TWIC as comparability when applying for an HME, then the HME expiration date will be tied to the expiration date of the TWIC - the HME will expire no later than the current expiration date of the TWIC.
Comparability - Eligibility
Effective February 26, 2013, Virginia HME applicants are eligible to use their TWIC as a comparable security threat assessment during the application process as long as the TWIC has at least one year and five days remaining before it expires. DMV will confirm the eligibility of applicants online with Transportation Security Administration (TSA) as part of its HME security threat assessment application process.
Comparability - Application Reduced Fee
Individuals eligible to use TWIC comparability will be charged $41 for the HME instead of the full HME fee of $83. Any applicant with a TWIC may choose to either utilize the reduced fee TWIC comparability option or pay for the full HME which includes a background check and fingerprinting. Applicants should consider the expiration date of their current TWIC security threat assessments to determine if it is more cost effective to apply for a full five-year fee HME.
Additional Information
For more information, please see TWIC Frequently Asked Questions.


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Lucky Dog Chain Link Kennel - 5'L x 5'W x 4'H
About this item
Lucky Dog Kennels provide your pet/companion with enough room to make them feel safe, warm and secure. Kennels help aid in housebreaking, while the entire line of kennels help prevent mischievous and destructive behavior and unwanted accidents. Whether Indoor, Outdoor or Travel are designed to compliment your home decor and/or backyard and do not stand out like an unattractive cage, crate or plastic kennel.
Assembled Country
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5'W x 5'L x 4'H
Component Country
Member reviews & questions
Ask & Answer
Policies & plans
Shipping Information
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Standard - 2 to 6 business days
Warranty Information
One (1) year from date of original purchase unless defect(s) is a result from abuse or misuse or from weather related damage. Submit in writing your name, address and/or phone number along with detail explanation of warranty claim and proof of original purchase to Jewett- Cameron, PO Box 1010, North Plains, OR 97133. Customer Service 1-800-955-2879.


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Three hearty seniors, whose sense of humor hasn't diminished with time, recently attended the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) Festival at Promised Land State Park (PLSP) in Greentown. The former "CCC boys" wasted no time in being useful once again as they grabbed shovels and got to work planting a commemorative serviceberry tree near the Masker Museum, which houses an interesting display of CCC artifacts and historical information.
With 13 million people out of work due to the Great Depression, the CCC was created in 1933 partly for "the relief of unemployment through the performance of useful public work." Young men between the ages of 17 and 25 were recruited to join the "peacetime army." Nearly 3,000,000 young men participated. Each received a cash allowance of $30, of which $25 was allotted to the family and five given to the CCC boy.
PLSP environmental education specialist Carissa Longo introduced CCC boys Frank Kutash, Dr. William Dewar and John Stopka to the crowd. "Not many people know what the CCC did for us as a nation," she said. "In Pike County alone, they planted more than a million trees. They were very influential."
Stopka spoke first. "I had just graduated from high school and we were in the midst of the Depression," he said. "There were very few jobs, so I volunteered to go into the CCC. Most of my education that prepared me for life I learned in the CCC. It was a wonderful experience and also prepared me for my military service in the Air Force."
Kutash served in the CCC in 1937. "Things were tough," he said. "It wasn't much money. But you could get a pint of whiskey for 85 cents." Despite being thrown from a tractor, Kutash wasn't injured and called his time in the CCC "a great experience."
"We learned an awful lot," added Dewar, who credits his CCC experience with enabling him to find a job and attend medical school. During his service, Dewar was unexpectedly assigned to the kitchen. "My real thrill was layer cakes," he said. "The mixing bowl was 30 inches across and as deep as my forearm, filled with 10 pounds of flour and two pounds of shortening.
You'd stir, and the sweat would drip in, so you didn't have to add salt," he joked. "We'd make 64 layer cakes, and some of the edges got burned. So, we just cut that off and put icing over it."
Promised Land State Park was established in 1905 and hosted three CCC camps between 1933 and 1941. The CCC is credited with substantially improving the layout and safety of the park, planting thousands of trees and developing many of the recreational facilities present today. Here, at what was known as Camp Pocono #S-139, the men built roads, the Promised Land Lake dam, the Bear Wallow cabins, the CCC Pavilion and more.
The first public CCC Festival featured talks, movies, educational booths, music, children's activities, museum tours and the introduction of the new CCC GPS (Global Positioning System) Walking Tour. The tour allows users to follow coordinates for a behind-the-scenes tour of the CCC history at PLSP. It begins at the museum, which the CCC constructed in 1934 as officer's quarters.
Other stops include the locations for buildings such as the boys' barracks, medical buildings, the barbershop, the mess hall and the spud house (where thousands of potatoes were stored). The CCC Walking Tour is an official geocache site at www.Geocaching.com [2]. A brochure with coordinates also can be obtained at the Park Office on Route 390. For more information, contact Longo at email@example.com [3], or at 570/676-0567.


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|PPSS Evaluation Reports
|Reports from the Policy and Program Studies Service evaluating a wide range of Department programs.
|Early Implementation of Public Single-Sex Schools: Perceptions and Characteristics
|Presents data from a preliminary exploratory observational study of some public single-sex schools, including information about the schools' demographic characteristics, the professional characteristics of the staff, and staff perceptions of school characteristics.
Other Programs


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Hi! My baby girl is 6 months old, usually exclusively breast fed every 2 1/2 to 3 hrs during the day and maybe 2x at night (usually 11 pm and 4 am). She's 16#11oz, good wet diapers, good BM every other day. I am a mostly SAHM but work a few days a month as a nurse in the ER. I am also finishing my bachelor's degree online and will be done this May. (hurray!) Everything has been going GREAT with BF, she loves it, I love it, my fam is very supportive!
My frustration lately has been that when I have needed to be away from her, say if I am taking a study break for 3-4 hrs at a coffee shop or whatever and have a sitter, I am having to pump in the car to keep up enough milk for the freezer stash.
So my ? is - has anyone dealt with this - and how? Pumping at work is so easy, I can usually pump at least 2x during an 8 hr shift, and everyone is very understanding and supportive. Pumping in the CAR out in public is a totally different story. It is very awkward, very frustrating, I have a hard time relaxing... I have not been going to big public places like the mall (because I am trying to get studying done!) where I could pump in a dressing room or something and have more privacy/spread out. Last time I threw a hissy fit in the backseat of my car. I have a great Medela double pump that works like a charm...the problem is definitely USER error, not pump deficiency!
Any suggestions/hints/tips?


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Hugo Chavez
The former Venezuelan president died on March 5, 2013. He was 58. (Photo by Juan Barreto/AFP/Getty Images)
Barney Bush
The former first dog passed away February 1, 2013. He was 12-years-old. (Photo by Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty Images)
Bonnie Franklin
Best known for her role in "One Day at a Time," the actress died March 1, 2013. She was 69. (Photo by Getty Images)
Ed Koch
The former mayor of New York died February 1, 2013. He was 88-years- old. (Photo by Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty Images)
Mindy McCready
The country music singer took her own life February 17, 2013. She was 37-years-old. (Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images)
Tony Lip
Best known for his portrayal of crime boss Carmine Lupertazzi in the HBO series "The Sopranos," the actor died January 4, 2013. He was 82. (Photo by Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images)
Essie Mae Washington-Williams
The oldest child of the late Strom Thurmond, the former Governor of South Carolina and longtime United States Senator, died on February 4, 2013. She was 87-years-old. (Photo by Getty Images)
Earl Weaver
The fiery Orioles Hall of Fame manager died on January 19, 2013. He was 82. (Photo by Ted Mathias/AFP/Getty Images)
Andre Cassagnes
The creator of the Etch A Sketch died on January 16, 2013. He was 86-years-old. (Photo by Karen Bleier/AFP/Getty Images)
Ned Wertimer
Best known for his role as Ralph Hart, the doorman on "The Jefferson's," the actor died on January 2, 2013. He was 89. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Stan "The Man" Musial
Considered to one of the greatest baseball players of all time, the St. Louis Cardinals Hall of Famer died on January 19, 2013. He was 89-years-old. (Photo by Luke Frazza/AFP/Getty Images)
Patti Page
The "Tennessee Waltz" singer died on January 1, 2013. She was 85-years-old. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Bobby Rogers
One of the original members of the Motown staple "The Miracles," the singer died on March 3, 2013. He was 73-years-old. (Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images)
Conrad Bain
The "Diff'rent Strokes" actor died on January 14, 2013. He was 89-years-old. (Photo by Robert Mora/Getty Images)
C. Everett Koop
The former U.S. Surgeon General died on February 25, 2013. He lived to be 96-years-old. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)
Jerry Buss
The longtime owner of the Los Angeles Lakers died on February 18, 2013. He was 80-years-old. (Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE/Getty Images)
Van Cliburn
The legendary pianist died on February 27, 2013. He was 78-years-old. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)
Huell Howser
Best known for his travel show in Los Angeles, the TV personality died on January 7, 2013. He was 67. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Robert C. Richardson
The Nobel Prize winning physicist died on February 19, 2013. He was 75-years-old. (Photo by Stringer/AFP/Getty Images)
Harry Reems
The star of the cult classic "Deep Throat" died on March 19, 2013. He was 65. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Debi Austin
Appearing in an infamous anti-smoking ad in the 1990s, Austin died on February 22, 2013. She was 62. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
Categories: Entertainment Photo Galleries


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|DM Drider
Shin'Rakorath Captain:"Thank you for meeting with at such short notice. I have called the five of you here for a special purpose. Now that each one of you has earned your position as a recruit of the Shin'Rakorath, I have decided to send you on your first mission. What I expect from you are results. This is your first, and most important chance to prove yourselves to our brotherhood. I do not have much time to brief you now, so you will have to forgive me. You are to travel southeast to Riddleport and meet up with an Elf by the name of Kwava at The Gold Goblin Gambling Hall. When you approach the Succubi, speak the words of our brotherhood, and they will take you to Kwava. He will be expecting you, and will fill you in as to what your duties are. Take this, it should be enough to secure safe passage for each of you."
With that, he reaches out his hand with a small velvet pouch and a map.
He raises his right hand, and said "To be the light against the coming darkness"
The party finds its self right now in Mierani Forest, and must make it's way down to Riddleport. Use this as an opportunity to get to know each other, and to display some of your talents.
Relevant Map
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
And what is in the small velvet pouch?
Den stands at the front of the group, arrow knocked in his composite bow, surveying their surrounding.
perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (10) + 9 = 19 +2 if elves, half elves, or drow
Track: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (17) + 9 = 26 +2 if elves, half elves, or drow
|DM Drider
Dendarial reaches forward and accepts the velvet pouch.
The captain sits back at his desk and begins to write on a tiny piece of parchment. He glances back up and nods toward the door, as if telling you to leave. On your way out of the room, you notice three bird cages. Two of them currently contain crows.
As you and the others look inside of the pouch, you find ten stones: 5x Yellow/Orange, 5x opaque red.
In the outer edges of the woods (the red dot), you see nothing more than rodents and small birds.
You have done extensive research on the region, and are intimately aware of a local tribe called the The horse lords of the Velashu Uplands, who are known for breeding the finest horses in Varisia. You are able to mark it on the map if you so choose.
rugged barbarians and rangers who travel through the
Velashu Uplands in nomadic groups, following the region's
vast herds of wild horses and incidentally guarding Varisia
from incursions of the more violent tribes of barbarians
from the Nolands. The Horse Lords are primarily composed
of Ulfen explorers and travelers who abandoned the Lands
of the Linnorm Kings for a less violent life here on the
outskirts of Varisia. Over the generations, their blood has
mixed with both Varisians and the odd Shoanti—although
the Horse Lords aren't officially part of the Shoanti tribes,
some scholars still refer to them as the "Eighth Quah."
Never in front of a full-blood Shoanti, though.
Ziyad always felt the burden of time in these situations, no problem at hand meant no escape from his thoughts. In the desert at least the heat was a constant distraction, here in the ancestral forest everything was a mirror to him.
"Let's find some horses..." he murmers numbly, a strong voice with a southern accent. "...or did they have something else in mind?" He peers at the stones.
1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15
|Vhalas Rhun
Vhalas glances around as he exits the tent, and squints. Well, the Shin'Rakorath could learn a thing or two about security, that's apparent. There's not enough cover here and the area is far too open. Never could understand most Elf's obsession with forests. Give me a nice street or alley any day.
*in a quiet voice speaks to the rest of the group*
I don't particularly like going into a meeting blind. I wish we knew what this Kwava looked like. Call me paranoid, but more than once I have seen people go into an alley to meet a contact who will be expecting you and come to regret it later. We should use caution. I'll take point
|DM Drider
|Talia Grace
Walking from the tent(?) Talia looks up at the sky, judging the time of day.
We should seek the Horse Lords and see what may be bartered with to gain mounts. I believe they were here she points to a spot on the map marking it from her knowledge check At least they were last time I heard.
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
Vhalas glances around as he exits the tent, and squints. Well, the Shin'Rakorath could learn a thing or two about security, that's apparent. There's not enough cover here and the area is far too open. Never could understand most Elf's obsession with forests. Give me a nice street or alley any day.
*in a quiet voice speaks to the rest of the group*
I don't particularly like going into a meeting blind. I wish we knew what this Kwava looked like. Call me paranoid, but more than once I have seen people go into an alley to meet a contact who will be expecting you and come to regret it later. We should use caution. I'll take point
Den responds We are days away from Riddleport Vhalas. Maybe weeks. When we get there you can have point. We are in the woods now though. My woods. I don't want you walking all over the tracks I need to read, so for now I'll take point. But please, walk beside me where the trail allows. Your eyes are sharp and you may see what I miss.
Walking from the tent(?) Talia looks up at the sky, judging the time of day.
We should seek the Horse Lords and see what may be bartered with to gain mounts. I believe they were here she points to a spot on the map marking it from her knowledge check At least they were last time I heard.
To Talia he answers Horses would be welcome indeed. How far do you believe Riddleport is from here?
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
And what is in the small velvet pouch?
Den stands at the front of the group, arrow knocked in his composite bow, surveying their surrounding.
[dice=perception]1d20+9 +2 if elves, half elves, or drow
[dice=Track]1d20+9 +2 if elves, half elves, or drow
DM Drider, Any information from these rolls?
|Talia Grace
|DM Drider
|DM Drider
DM Drider, Any information from these rolls?
Mostly the rodents and birds, but I'll tell you this:Once you get out into the uplands, you see tracks and random prints of horses in every direction, but you do catch on to a very light trail in the direction of the mark on the map. Your track roll identifies them all to clearly be of Horses... big horses.
|The Killer Wasp
Eledlara has been quiet since leaving the meeting with the Captain. She saunters after the others casually, glancing over Ziyad's shoulder as he opens the pouch.
Detect Magic on the stones.
Her gaze then flicks to Vhalas as he makes his crack about dark alleys and shady contacts.
I've been on both sides of that equation before. She regards the rogue's back and smiles to herself. Mental note: This one's sharp.
And she does like sharp things.
"We should seek the Horse Lords and see what may be bartered with to gain mounts. I believe they were here. At least they were last time I heard."
"Horses would be welcome indeed. How far do you believe Riddleport is from here?"
The Wasp stretches her arms and back as they walk, smiling broadly. "Far enough that horses would make the trip much more comfortable."
She quickens her pace to join Dendarial and Vhalas up front and smiles at the pair. "Either of you boys been to Riddleport before?"
|Talia Grace
A ship you say? I cannot recall ever having sailed before. Hm. Talia quietly ponders the idea.
Mayhap a combined idea? Head to the camp and see what we can and then maybe head to the river.
Knowledge Local / Geo to learn if there is a place to buy/rent/get a riverboat to the south and west of us.
1d20 + 7 ⇒ (13) + 7 = 20
|DM Drider
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
To Killer: Its no place to envy, that is for sure. Thieves and money grubbers everywhere. Organized crime. Everything is for sale and those without coin are mistreated if they are treated at all.[b] He looks lost for a moment, and continues. [b]So much chaos... yet so much freedom to choose your own destiny there.
Seeming to find himself again he adds I have hunted there. My... quarry .... sometimes believe they can hide in that city.
And I mean no disrespect good lady, but if we are traveling together in this city it might be better to have another name to address you by. "Killer" will get a lot of notice.
|The Killer Wasp
Its no place to envy, that is for sure. Thieves and money grubbers everywhere. Organized crime. Everything is for sale and those without coin are mistreated if they are treated at all. So much chaos... yet so much freedom to choose your own destiny there.
Seeming to find himself again he adds I have hunted there. My... quarry .... sometimes believe they can hide in that city.
Eledlara laughs pleasantly. "I've also had quarry try to hide in Riddleport. I grew up there - and I've never heard a more apt description of the place. Filthy, dangerous and free."
And I mean no disrespect good lady, but if we are traveling together in this city it might be better to have another name to address you by. "Killer" will get a lot of notice.
"In my experience, the name 'Killer Wasp' attracts the right kind of notice amongst more disreputable types." She winks. "You may call me 'Wasp' if you prefer."
"Though some people are as afraid of wasps as they are killers." She flashes him another smile, then tuns back to the others.
"A boat sounds like a wonderful idea, if we can find - or afford - one."
|Talia Grace
|DM Drider
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
"In my experience, the name 'Killer Wasp' attracts the right kind of notice amongst more disreputable types." She winks. "You may call me 'Wasp' if you prefer."
As you would have it. Wasp it will be until you choose to share more of yourself with us. Den chides, smiling back.
As to how to proceed. We walk for now. I have found a game trail that seems to have been used by mounted men recently. We follow this until we find either them or their camp. Depending on how that goes, we either walk or ride from there.
Thinking about the gems Den interjects I have no skill at appraising gems, but I would think that these stones would each be worth much more than even a fine horse and tack. Let us not overpay if we can avoid it. I recommend we do not show all the stones at once. Can anyone appraise the gems individually?
|Vhalas Rhun
Well this is just getting better by the moment, a bounty hunter would have been bad enough, but the Wasp?
*shakes his head in thought*
What was is that "Sly" Redding said before he disappeared? Think dammit! We were drinking at the Silken Veil in Riddleport and the dumb berk said he was leaving town that night. He kept going on about some crazy vigilante named the Wasp… something about a woman that didn't care a whit about finding the truth as long as it looked good to a magistrate. That by the time she was done, you would rat on your own mother. He was drunk, sure as sure, and it all sounded like some local street myth, but maybe there was something to his ramblings.
Yea, I won't be letting her out of my sight.
We walk for now. I have found a game trail that seems to have been used by mounted men recently. We follow this until we find either them or their camp. Depending on how that goes, we either walk or ride from there.
"Sure Dendarial, take the lead, and don't worry, i'll be right behind you."
*turns briefly and smiles at Eledlara*
"Riddleport? Been there a time or two, can't say it's a place I would care to vacation at, too many thieves, too much organized crime."
And too much competition.
|Talia Grace
|DM Drider
40 miles of tracks, 9 hours (including an hour of rest), and five empty waterskins later, you begin to approach small range of large hills.
Talia Grace 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
Vhalas Rhun1d20 + 9 ⇒ (20) + 9 = 29
Dendarial 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (17) + 9 = 26
Ziyad 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (3) + 14 = 17
Eledlara 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26
You all see horses grazing around the base of the hills. You all also notice that these horses seem heartier and stronger than any horse you've likely ever seen. They seem completely wild.
Everyone but Ziyad also sees what seems to be a man with long brown hair riding out from between two of the hills directly toward the party. He's got two riders behind him, and he's riding fast. He has no shirt, and doesn't seem to be using reins.
He's probably about 1/2 a mile away.
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
|The Killer Wasp
"Looks like someone's coming."
The Wasp pulls her crossbow off her back and starts loading it. When she notices a few glances, she shrugs.
"What? I'd rather be prepared." So armed, she squints into the distance where the men are growing closer. "Anyone have dealings with these horsemen before?"
|Talia Grace
|Vhalas Rhun
"Sure Talia, whatever"
Vhalas nods at Eledlara.
"But there's nothing wrong with a little caution"
Vhalas, shifts his grey cloak over his shoulder freeing his sword arm and deftly slides his short sword out of its scabbard and begins examines the edge. The blade has a dull darkened look to it as if it had been rubbed down with charcoal or some dark oil. Seeming satisfied with the result, Vhalas eases the blade back into the sheath, but leaves his hand on the pommel.
Hey, I didn't put it in my sheet but my familiar has a perception of +7.
Turning to Dendarial's question "...about a hundred platinum altogether, but I'm no expert. In Osirion there's a ston-" Ziyad cuts short as he notices the others break into a loose offensive posture. He looks for the nearest treeline or some cover to put between him and the charging force.
If he can get out of line of sight he'll hide. If there is a tree to climb he will do so.
Stealth:: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18
Climb:: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
|Talia Grace
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
|DM Drider
With nowhere to run, Ziyad moves to the back of the party.
Now standing in the front of the group, Talia reaches out her right hand, palm facing forward, seeming as if to the rest of the party she were telling the riders to stop.
The cloud of dust dissipates as the rider at its head slow to a canter. They are barbarians by their dress, bearing distinctive patterns of war paint on their faces and shoulders, marks repeated in the same dark color on the necks of their equine mounts. They are three in number, although they are now followed by a train of a dozen additional horses. As they pull to a stop, they hold up their right hands, showing that they too brandish no weapons.
The leader of the group, a tall, sun-tanned man with long brown hair with a single braid, urges his mount forward a few steps before speaking. "Strange days these are when the sky is tainted by a dark mist, and the Elves wander from their forest. I am Windbraid. What brings you here?"
|Talia Grace
Hail Windbraid. I am Talia Grace. Here she pauses to allow the other to introduce themselves should they wish.
Following that
Strange days indeed, with many sights to be seen. My party and I are traveling south, toward the city of Riddleport, and heard many tales and legends of the Horse Lords and their great steeds. Do you by chance have any mounts bound for the markets there? Perhaps we can trade here, under the sun and sky?
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
Catching on to the open hand, Dendarial throws his bow over his shoulder before the riders close. When Taila pauses he also greets the riders. Well met Windbraid. I am Dendarial of the Wood Elves.
|The Killer Wasp
The Wasp hangs back and keeps her crossbow at hand until the horseman speak. Once their non-hostile intent is clear, she smiles and unloads the weapon, but hangs back.
If Talia has experience with these Varisians, best to let her to do the talking.
Even so, she sweeps her eyes over each of the men, taking them in, trying to get a handle on their strengths.
Detect Evil
Sense Motive 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (18) + 10 = 28
|DM Drider
Not Evil
His tone seems to imply that he is indifferent to your exhistance, and that something about the elves and their forest irritate him
Windbraid: "Well met. As you can see, there are many horses here, but they are not to be simply sold at market to the highest bidder. These horses have been raised free as a part of our clan, and we have spent our lives training and caring for them. I would need a reason to trust that you would treat them with the same dignity and respect that we do."
His eyes scan each of you, as if waiting for the slightest hostile action.
|Talia Grace
I fully understand, and while I will not claim to know all about your people I know the tales of their great steeds and the love they are shown. We seek partners in travel, not beasts of burden. Come, let us walk among them as see how they react. It is said that the wild horses of the plains can see to the hearts of men is it not? Let them judge us and find our worth.
|DM Drider
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
You discern nothing special. Seems like intimidating war paint.
Windbraid remains motionless for a moment, his facial expression remaining the same. After staring into Talia's eyes for a moment, he extends his right arm out to the side with his hand open, as if inviting the party to see how the horses respond to them.
Judging by his posture, and facial expressions, he does not seem to have been swayed by Talia's words. It seems apparent to you that he's intent on letting the horses judge you.
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
Already up with Talia, Den accepts the test and steps forward. They are truly marvelous creatures. he comments to Windbraid as he walks forward.
He approaches one of the horses he believes to be the best, speaking to it softly, but as an equal. He does not coo or talk down to the beast and reaches out to it first with his hand and then closes with it nose to nose, if the horse will allow. He wants the animal to get his scent.
Handle Animals: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
If the horse accepts me, may I ride?
|Vhalas Rhun
If I am being honest, I don't know a lick about horses. But I know what I like in a partner… quiet, unassuming, and easy to forget about. Strength should be hidden below the surface, like the still waters of a lake with a great beast below waiting to strike. That's what I am looking for in my steed.
1d20 + 9 ⇒ (13) + 9 = 22
"I prefer for my actions to speak for me."
With calm, quiet and lithe strides Vhalas steps forward towards the herd, moving in silence and without further words, he looks each of the horses in the eye.
If all this junk is true then the horse should know me, if not... well my feet have gotten me this far.
|The Killer Wasp
Wasp makes no move toward the horses, content to let the others mix with them. Instead, she continues to focus on the horsemen.
They don't trust us. Let's put them at ease.
She saunters over.
"I understand your hesitance to help a bunch of mysterious elves, wandering from the forest. You have no reason to trust us with your fine steeds. Perhaps there's something we can do for you, in exchange for your aid? Something that might prove our good intentions?"
She smiles demurely at Windbraid.
"Or maybe you'd even be willing to travel with us for a time? We're headed to Riddleport. With you three and your fine horses, we'd make better time... and you'd be able to take the horses back with you when we've arrived. Assuming you're headed that way."
She allows her eyes to wander over his broad shoulders and tanned skin.
"It would be safer to be in your company, my lord. And maybe you'd find our company equally... satisfactory?"
Diplomacy 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (20) + 10 = 30
|DM Drider
As Dendariel performs his woodland motions crocodile dundee check, the steed leans it's head forward, rubbing it's face to Dendarials. With a swift motion, Dendarial scoops his arm around the mane of the horse and mounts it. Without much effort, the horse seems to respond very naturally to Dendariels motions and thoughts, almost as if it were reading his mind.
"Hah, well done. It seems as though you have proven yourself. I will spare your companions the same test. Now, if you plan to take away from our tribe, you must give something of equal value in return. We have plenty to choose from, but heavy and light. Be warned, if we choose to trade with you, you must swear never sell or give these horses to another. One thing you should be aware of is this; if you are simply traveling to Riddleport, we fashion rafts to transport goods down river to sell. The rafts we dismantle and sell as lumber as well. What shall it be?"
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
Den rides for the joy of riding, making a large circle and coming back to answer the horse lord. I cannot speak for the others Windbraid, but for my choice, I will trade you for this horse, and gladly swear to never sell or give her to another. I follow the path of the ranger, and soon I will call an animal companion, I believe my choice has been made this day.
|DM Drider
"It would be safer to be in your company, my lord. And maybe you'd find our company equally... satisfactory?"BOOM! :D
Windbraid seems to be taken by Wasps words"As you like. A few of my men were planning to head south in the morning to patrol. We defend this land and our herds from the violent barbarian tribes of the region. If you have nothing to trade but would like to ride one of our horses down, I will accompany you instead, if you and your companions help me to destroy any barbarians we encounter. You (he says directly to wasp) may ride with me, or along side me. The choice is yours."Windbraid looks at Dendarial and says
"Any of our steeds would make a fine companion. What is your offer?"
Come to a consensus about which route you will take, and i'll continue from there.
|The Killer Wasp
Wasp's smile splits into a grin.
"I cannot speak for my fellows, but I would be happy to help you deal with your barbarian troubles in exchange for your company."
"Windbraid was it? My friends here call me Wasp." Her eyes wander back to his well muscled chest. "I admit I have little experience riding. But I suspect it would be a pleasure to ride with you."
Ziyad interjects himself "How many days ride do you know Riddleport to be, Windbraid? And what kinds of things do you value for trade? I would assume our metals and gemstones are of little use to you on the windswept hills." He pauses. "You say these horses are a part of your clan...if one were sick or dying, what would be the appropriate way to care for them?"
|Dendarial the Ken Hunter
First I offer my sword and bow to help you with your enemies. And I offer myself. The horse has chosen me and I treat it as a friend and ally all its days. Den watches the horse lord's eyes trying to read him. And I have these stones. Den shows both but offers one of the gem stones. I am an elf of the wilds. I do not know the value of such things. I will trust you to tell me if this is enough, and to take no offense if I offer too little.
|DM Drider
"Riddleport is two days travel from here. We find value in many things. Primarily arms and armor of high quality, but precious stones and gold have their place among my people too."
Okay, since these horses are a big investment, let me know what you're getting yourselves into. I'll post the stat block in the discussion section. If you're interested in buying, list whether you want the heavy or light version of the horse. Once that is settled, we can barter.


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Robin Realizes Her Dream with Next Steps Program
This is the story of Robin L. Fox. Robin is a Native American woman and an enrolled member of Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold, North Dakota. Robin dreamed of attending college and becoming a nurse. In 2004, Robin met Deb Wilson, the director of the University of North Dakota (UND) Recruitment and Retention of American Indians into Nursing (RAIN) program at a college career fair at Fort Berthold Community College (FBCC). The RAIN program is a major subcontractor and service provider for the Next Steps Project. Deb Wilson encouraged Robin to pursue her dreams of a nursing career. She offered Robin kind words, information on available services, and a path to follow.
Like many of her peers, Robin did not follow her dreams as a teen. Due to overwhelming circumstances, she felt her goals were unachievable. Robin was born and raised in Seattle, Washington and had a wonderful life until the loss of her mother. While her mother was still living, she encouraged Robin to apply for the RAIN program. She gave her daughter a RAIN pamphlet she found at the Seattle Indian Health Board office. After the loss of her mother, Robin moved from place to place before becoming homeless. She spent a good part of her life on the streets of Seattle, living out of a backpack. Despite these difficult circumstances, Robin never lost sight of her dream of becoming a nurse. Robin held on to that RAIN pamphlet and carried that information with her on the streets of Seattle. When the pamphlet became damaged or too difficult to read, she would go to the Indian Center in Seattle to pick up a new one.
Robin met her husband David in 2004 and moved to North Dakota. She enrolled in the nursing program at FBCC under the Next Steps program. Next, she obtained her License Practical Nursing (LPN) certificate and passed the State boards in 2006. In 2011, she was encouraged by her RAIN mentor to pursue her dream to becoming a registered nurse (RN). Robin successfully applied to the Dakota Nursing Program at FBCC, and graduated with her Associate of Applied Science (AAS) degree in nursing. After passing the RN State boards, she became an RN in 2012.
Robin continues her nursing education today. With the support and guidance of Liz Yellowbird, her Next Steps Program Mentor, she has entered the RN-BSN distance program at the University of North Dakota. Robin is happily married with five beautiful daughters and is currently residing in Parshall, North Dakota. Upon completion of her advanced nursing degree, she plans to work providing healthcare services in the scope of her practice on the Fort Berthold Reservation. Robin is very appreciative of the Next Steps Program and those early words of encouragement and support that Deb Wilson offered her so many years ago.
The Health Profession Opportunity Grants (HPOG) program provides education and training to low-income individuals for occupations in the health care field that pay well and are expected to either experience labor shortages or be in high demand.


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Interactive Travel Map|Text the Secretary | Trip Page
Today, Secretary Clinton visited Brasilia, Brazil, the fourth stop of her six-nation tour of Latin America. She met with Brazilian lawmakers, as well as Foreign Minister Celso Amorim. The Secretary and Foreign Minister strengthened bilateral relations by signing cooperation agreements for the advancement of women, expansion of work to foster economic development, improve health care and increase social inclusion in countries that face the greatest poverty challenges, and ways to combat climate change. You may read more about the cooperation agreements below.
After meeting with government officials, Secretary Clinton greeted Americans and Brazilians working at the U.S. Embassy. Secretary Clinton told employees that she believes the U.S.-Brazil relationship is one of the key partnerships in the 21st century. She noted that the United States was the first country to recognize Brazil's independence in 1822 and the first to move its embassy to Brasilia 50 years ago.
Highlighting the importance of the relationship with Brazil, Secretary Clinton said, "In the Obama Administration, we are trying to deepen and broaden our ties with a number of strategic countries and Brazil is at the top of the list. This is a country that really does matter."
She continued, "And it's a country that is trying very hard to fulfill its promise to its own people of a better future. And so, together, the United States and Brazil have to lead the way for the people of this hemisphere."
Later today, Secretary Clinton will meet with Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva. At 6:00 p.m. EST, 8:00 p.m. local time, she will participate in a live townterview (interview + town hall) in Sao Paulo at Zumbi dos Palmares University, Brazil's only Afro-Brazilian institute of higher learning. The townterview will be streamed live here on DipNote and www.state.gov.
Since leaving Washington on February 28, Secretary Clinton has visited Uruguay, Argentina, and Chile. In Chile, she pledged support to help the nation recover from last week's devastating earthquake. After leaving Brazil, she will visit Costa Rica and Guatemala.
Secretary Clinton and Brazilian Foreign Minister Amorim Announce Increased Cooperation for Advancement of Women | Secretary Clinton and Brazilian Foreign Minister Amorim Announce Trilateral Development Cooperation | Secretary Clinton and Brazilian Foreign Minister Amorim Announce Increased Cooperation on Climate Change
Ron in New York writes:
12th UN Crime Congress: Salvador, Brazil....
Brazil is to be commended for hosting the 12th UN Crime Congress in April. The issues on the agenda are global, and the global south is most impacted (and most progressive) in addressing them. USG/DoS should have a strong delegation at this important meeting; Global crime is sweeping all regions as the economic crisis deepens.
Nattan in Brazil writes:
Mrs. Secretariat
Even not sympathize with Mrs. have to agree that their concern and their government and its Department of Defense, is unfounded in the case of Iran and nuclear weapons. So I should know that Lula, Chavez, Morales and all other heads of state neo-communists who are ahead of Latin America are working together under the guidance of the Castro brothers for Iran to develop nuclear weapons. Put your personal and working better with more attention! And this is only happening right under the nose of you because they did not give due attention to the real enemies of democracy and freedom. Like you used and use the Arabs, these Latin American neo-communists are using Iran to equip themselves with weapons of mass destruction! The words of Lula and Amorim were emblematic in defending Iran and Dilma is not different from them.
A friend.
Donald M. in Virginia writes:
3 4 10
"They were smart enough to come up with methods to become self supportive and not demanding on other countries." Good Job!
The Country of Venzuala concerns should be of the world.
When the leader of Lybia and Venzuala get together, and theres mention how South America is building up the Arms race it should bring caution to our country. What I still do not understand after the multitude of terror acts Lt. Col Quadafi was apart of, he was allowed to be on American soil. How can anyone approve a visa or passport in the United States when they know he was guilty of terrorism. President Ronald Reagan would of been turning in his grave knowing this happened. The list of terror acts that was conducted by Lybia and suddenly they are our allies? I say to our Intelligence community to look at the facts and history of Lybia. I had read years ago how Quadafi bragged he would use computer virus to attack the west. This can be a form of terrorism. How many computer networks have been attacked over the years, constant virus attacks, people losing important data, and or equipment because of hackers or very bad people.
The United Nations should also conduct another check on Lybia to ensure they have complied with removing all Nuclear equipment.
Palgye in South Korea writes:
Dear to Brazil.
Brazil with the participation which high position 1% is active about support and future about uncertainty when there is support of the funds which does not have a doubt the reform succeeds and become the citizens where the economic units is common and they think the thing which will gratulate jump.
About Brazil while being interested which is personal will be selected in May which is one an interest which is temporary about the enterprise which is. Intervenes actively and but, thinks from this place that the reaction is cold about me. So far,
Thank you.
Neide in Brazil writes:
Honoravel secretaria
I sympathize with Mrs.. With dictator can not be much conversation. when Hugo Chavez he was in the U.S. He said the president was the devil.and I do not understand why he was not punished for it. Morales, Fidel,Lula Hugo Chavez!they want to destroy the E.U.A. DILMA wants to strengthen relations with Iran against U.S. A. She and dangerous!! and a snake.I ended saying that Mrs. and competent and very beautiful. I applaud you standing.


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Tonys Crew Chief
As a die hard SMOKE fan since his start with the outlaws and his start with JG Racing in Nascar cant help but keep wondering why since in my opinion a bad mistake letting Daryn Grubb go as crew chief that Tony has not put Zippy back on the box as he won 2 championships with Zippy and with no disrespect to his current crew chief I think it is Stanton ,but due for correction, as it is obvious that he jus cannot get the car set up for Tony to perform as every one knows he can. A great example is the race at Kentucky, Tony was starting to make advances and then after first pit stop and adjustments just went backwards and never recovered. I know that it always easier looking in from the outside but it is obvious that the driver -crew chief combination is not working for Tony.


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Premise: Close your eyes. (In your mind. Keep your eyes open to read this article, unless you know some other way.) Consider this:
I'll be taking next Friday's column off but, instead of leaving you with nothing, I'm thrilled to announce that Soren Bowie, (Agents of Cracked's own "T-Bone!") will be filling in for me. He's terrific, and I trust you'll treat him with the same total-absence-of-respect with which you treat me.
Got that? Open your brain-eyes. My question is... Do you fuck or fight yourself?
Now, that might seem like a false dichotomy, but I promise you it isn't. Further, I'm not trying to force the fight-or-fuck response simply because it happens to be the way I personally handle absolutely ever social situation, that's just a coincidence. And, to be clear, Fighting or Fucking aren't the most intriguing possibilities, they're the only possibilities, and I need you to understand that before we can get into the pros and cons of each. Understanding The Fight-or-Fuck Response When I bring this hypothetical up with people, I'm consistently shocked when some say they would just "talk" to themselves. If you're curious what you sound like, buy a tape recorder. If you're hoping to have a genuinely stimulating conversation, why have it with yourself? What value can be found conversing with someone who knows no more than you and can offer no fresh perspective on things you do know? There is nothing to be learned from someone who thinks exactly like you, you'd spend an hour just bullshitting and agreeing with yourself. Two people in a room with identical ideas who sit around confirming each other's opinions and beliefs is basically a circle jerk anyway, so why not go all out? [See: Clone-Fucking and You] You may agree, but you may still think you don't need to do something as drastic as fighting or porking, but I don't think you're really seeing the big picture. The bottom line is no one else in the world will ever have this opportunity, and it is impossible to recreate the experience. It's just you who has been given this chance. You have an hour in a locked room with a clone of yourself. One hour and that clone disappears. Gone. If you're the only person in history with the opportunity to do whatever you want with a clone for an hour with no consequences, do you really want to waste it having a conversation that is inherently designed to go nowhere? That would be pointless, it's out of the question. When we agree that "chatting" is taken off the table, we see that there's very little else left to do. There's nothing in the room to play with or watch or read. You can't go out and play pranks on people, you're locked in. As I see it, you only have two options if you want this experience to matter at all... Clone-Fucking And You For some people, brake lights are immediately thrown on at the prospect of having sex with a clone, simply because the clone is of the same sex.1 That's an understandable knee-jerk reaction, but I wouldn't say it's the full story. I'm going to ask you, as I do at the beginning of every column, to think about masturbating. You masturbate with your own hand or foot (if you're flexible) or tail (if you're a mutant). If the clone is you, then it is, theoretically, a physical manifestation of masturbation. This is just you and you, working towards your pleasure.
And here's something you should know about your clone up front. It has all of your memories, up to and including your decision to clone yourself for the purpose of fucking yourself. By making this decision, you're basically creating an inner contract with your clone going into the experiment. Your clone knows it has an hour left, and it knows why you cloned it and, hey, it's cool with it. It will have gone in with an internal resolve to let you do this because it is you, and is taking one for the team so you can experience something nobody else in the world will have ever experienced. That is one noble cause and, in fact, you should all follow this clone's example. Right now, make a deal with yourself. Agree with yourself to let yourself have sex with yourself, if you ever clone you. Which reminds me: Clone-boning should, theoretically, be the most pleasurable experience you will ever have. Because this clone is working for you, and who knows you better than you? You know all of your complex turn-ons2, your favorite spots3 and your ideal sexual execution, ("sexecution"). Every weird thing you've ever been too ashamed to admit to another person, it's all fair game in the temporary clone brothel. Nothing is off limits. Two Yous, with an expertly-detailed map of your sexual preferences and nothing on their minds except pleasure for You, locked in a room for an hour.
It can be also be learning experience for all of you shy, awkward folks out there. Are you a good kisser? Is what you think of as "gentle caressing" more like "clumsy pawing"? Some people have a trusting enough relationship with their partners that they can ask these questions openly, and some people are just naturally gifted (Booyah). But you? This is how you find out. The hang up that a lot of people have here is this: "Yes, my clone would theoretically know all of my turn-ons, but you know what probably my biggest turn on is? Women, and that's something the clone just can't provide." This is true, but shouldn't put the veto on the whole clone-boning outright, because it overlooks the big, sweeping PRO in the clone-fucking camp. Namely, the point is that, Hey, this clone disappears in an hour. You will never, and I repeat, never have the chance to full-on fuck yourself again. The experience, whether ultimately good or bad, is still an experience that you can only have this on time. And, as I said before, remember that you're the only one. The only one in history who could potentially know what it feels like to fuck yourself. Only one person in the entire world, in the whole spectrum of time can have this exact experience, that person is you. And you're going to pass? When I visited South Africa to find myself spiritually and lay low from some cops for a while, I made sure I sampled all of the local cuisine, no matter how smelly or clearly-made-out-of-monkey-brains some of it was because, shit, when would I be back to South Africa? Might as well slurp those brains while the chance presents itself, right? You probably regret certain actions you didn't take, trips you didn't go on, crushes you never talked to; do you really need another regret? Because on your death bed, you will regret the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity you passed up. Count on it. Go ahead and get your clone-bone on!
But, while you're doing that, I did want to run one more thing by you. It's true that the clone is an exact replica of you and, theoretically, an extension of you (which is what makes the masturbation angle sound), however, you're not sharing a mind or, to be slightly more abstract, a soul, with your clone, not in the present, anyway. So, while he was at one point a perfect copy of you, the instant he came into existence, he started developing his own memories, separate from yours. By virtue of the very fact that he knows he's a clone should tell you that you're already different people. He's in the room with you experiencing life in a completely different way, interpreting the surroundings in a way that's specific to him. After even a few seconds of being alive, he's no longer your clone, he's got his own memories and experiences and opinions and everything else that informs someone's unique personality. He looks exactly like you, yes, and shares all of your previous memories, but he's not you, not anymore. He's just some guy. And you're fucking him.
Clone-Fighting and You I like the New York Giants. Sometimes they lose. (Off the top of my head, like the last four consecutive games, for example.) However, even when they do lose (four straight games, Manning), I'm often happy if the game is close, or if it's a good match up. If the game's compelling to watch. Sure, it'd be great if the Giants won every game (or even if they just beat the goddamned Eagles), but as long as it's an exciting and entertaining game, I can consider it worth my time. To put it in boxing terms, I don't want to watch Tyson mow down opponents a quarter of the way into the first round. Or, to put it in late 90s World Championship Wrestling terms, I'd rather watch Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit grapple and wristlock for 85 minutes than Goldberg spear through the competition in 13 seconds. I'm a person who likes close, even matches, is my point. Now, there is no closer, more evenly matched fight imaginable than the one you fight against yourself. No one knows your intricate fighting style4 better than you; no one knows your weaknesses5 better than you; and no one is as intimately familiar with all of the shitty things you've done in your life --anything that might warrant a punch in the mouth-- as you are. And I'm a competitive guy as, I imagine, my clone would be, so this would just be a high-octane, non-stop, hate-fueled-thrill-ride of knuckles and cursewords that rocks all hour long. This would be the best fight ever. We might spend the entire time expertly blocking each other's moves like a couple of well-trained ninjas, or maybe we'll spend it alternating between groin kicks and recovering (from groin kicks), like a couple of really bad ninjas. I don't have to worry about the cops being called, or his friends showing up; we're just a couple of Daniels, doing some fucking deathmatching. And, at the end of the hour, I ultimately win, because he disappears. (Also because I'm so much stronger.) Also, like clone-fucking, clone-fighting is a terrific learning experience, if you want to improve as a fighter. You'll spot all of your flaws and the weaknesses in your attacks and you'll learn what to avoid in future fights.
Further, the clone-version of you is basically a crash-test dummy. All of the anger that you bottle up inside --whether the anger is directed at you or the government or your Editor or whomever-- all of that anger is just boiling inside you, and you can't let it out day-to-day because man is a socialized animal. Well, here's your chance. Work out all of your aggressions, the door's open. No consequences, let loose and resort to common, street-rat savagery, guilt -free. It's been a while since I ignored Philosophy, but I'm almost positive there's nothing morally, ethically or legally wrong with murdering your clone that's going to be dead in an hour anyway. So, really, you know. Go to town. This could be the most well-fought and satisfying moment of your entire life. Plus, I think that motherfucker just looked at you funny. What are you waiting for, take him down! Of course, while you're fighting him, I would like to call one quick thing to your attention. He's a clone and is in as good physical condition as you are, so you're a match there. But here's the glaring problem: He knows he's a clone. He knows it's only a matter of time until he disappears. You know how action movies make a big deal out of the tough hero "with nothing to lose"? That's your clone. He's the guy with nothing to lose. He's you, but with no strings, no concern for the future, and with a death sentence dangling right above his head. He's you at maximum capacity, accessing the kind of emergency reserve strength and speed that makes itself visible when the adrenaline that only accompanies desperation kicks in. He's you at your most brutal, thoughtless and primal.
Can you take that guy? Subquestion: Wouldn't it be easier just to fuck him? Conclusion The conclusion isn't mine to write, it's yours. What do you do? In all of my studies with this hypothetical, women are overwhelmingly more likely to have sex with their clone than men are, a statistic that is as interesting as it is totally fucking hot. I'd be curious to see if that holds true with our audience, or if I just happen to surround myself with the coolest women on the planet. So how about it? You're locked in a room with your clone, who, if he's anything like my clone, is smirking like an asshole. Do you fuck or fight yourself? _________________ 1 Interesting sidebar: Whenever I bring this hypothetical up in real life, if someone's on the fence, their deciding factor is always wrapped up in the same-sex aspect of the situation. In fact, the people who wouldn't have sex with a clone almost invariably WOULD if the clone was, somehow, the opposite sex. Exactly like you, but the opposite gender. No one, without exception, gives any pause to the fact that they're fucking an exact replica of themselves, the whole freak-of-nature aspect never registers as a possible concern. 2Having sex with a breathing human. 3The genitals. 4Punching, not getting punched. 5The genitals.
I'll be taking next Friday's column off but, instead of leaving you with nothing, I'm thrilled to announce that Soren Bowie, (Agents of Cracked's own "T-Bone!") will be filling in for me. He's terrific, and I trust you'll treat him with the same total-absence-of-respect with which you treat me.


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MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- A new Legislative Fiscal Bureau report shows the University of Wisconsin System finished fiscal year 2012 with nearly $650 million sitting in reserve, including $414.1 million in surplus tuition dollars.
The bureau released a memo Friday saying the tuition surplus was $212.8 million as of mid-2009 and $393 million as of mid-2011. Base tuition across the system's four-year schools has gone up 5.5 percent annually between mid-2009 and mid-2012.
Republican legislative leaders issued a statement blasting system administrators. They questioned how the system could justify raising tuition in light of the surplus and vowed to include a two-year tuition freeze in the 2013-15 state budget.
A spokesman says the system's cash balances have grown because of rising enrollment and the surpluses give the system a safety net in volatile times.


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Telco Depot is pleased to offer the LG-Ericsson as its premium digital Key Telephone System for the business with 2 to 40 users and wants the benefit of having all lines appear on all phones. If you are replacing an existing Key System, the LG-Ericsson LX allows for easy transition as your employees will use the new phone just like the old. We pre-program this system for you so all you need to handle is the connection to your phone lines and the internal wiring for your offices. You'll be able to do your own administration of this system and we'll back you up with free technical support via the phone or web.
This offers all the basic features of the Xblue X16, but adds advanced features and flexibility such as more flexible ringing plus allows for greater growth. And the Voicemail included in this package gives you one touch routing from your Automated Attendant and notification that you have messages in your voice mailbox. Every station port in the base cabinet connects to either the proprietary LDK digital phones or to a standard analog phone such as a cordless phone.
The LG-Ericsson LDK even lets you go VoIP. Add the VoIP gateway card and connect LDK IP phones for remote phones or VoIP line service. Get the best of both worlds; Digital and VoIP with the LDK. Telco Depot even offers VoIP line service configured specifically for the LDK. When you order the VoIP gateway card we'll give you 2 lines of VoIP service for 3 months for free.
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Pipeline: Opponents again make their voices heard
MIDDLEBURY A Plainfield man wanted in connection with a protest at the Vermont Gas Systems headquarters was arrested Thursday at a public meeting in Middlebury about a gas pipeline project.
The man, identified as William Bennington, 25, faces a trespassing charge.
A group that opposes the Vermont Gas plan to extend service to Addison and Rutland counties protested outside the companys headquarters in South Burlington on May 27. Police say a protester injured a worker while trying to chain a protester to the door. The employee was struck in the arm by the large chain.
Police said two other protesters went to the roof to display a banner. Bennington is said to have been one of them.
Police say theyre still looking for the other rooftop protester and the one who injured the worker.
Opponents showed up in large numbers Thursday for the second of two public hearings on the proposed natural gas pipeline that would serve the International Paper mill in Ticonderoga, New York.
Opponents of Phase II of the Vermont Gas Systems project cited a litany of mostly environmental, but also economic and moral, reasons the Public Service Board should deny a permit that would extend the pipeline from Middlebury, southwest to Shoreham and Cornwall, and under Lake Champlain, to the IP plant.
At the start of the three-hour hearing Thursday at Middlebury Union High School, 80 people, almost all opponents, had signed up to speak.
Many in the auditorium were wearing Stop the Fracked Gas Pipeline stickers.
Morris Palmer, of North Ferrisburgh, said human excess has left a burden for his generation. Im 23 years old and Im a little pissed because your generation got to enjoy cheap fossil fuel without having to worry about things like climate change, Palmer said.
Climate change and the environment were on the minds of others who spoke.
A Middlebury woman expressed concern about the future of Lake Champlain and the thousands of people who depend upon the lake for their drinking water.
She said burying the pipeline under the lake would stir up toxins from the IP plant that have remained in the sediment for decades.
So what were considering is threatening the health of Lake Champlain and the drinking water supply of nearly 200,000 people for the sake of a handful of Phase II gas customers, she said.
She also said the pipeline could also have a negative impact on tourism in Vermont and New York.
Another person, citing Section 248 criteria, said the pipeline does not meet the public good and will have adverse effects on public health and the environment.
Vermont Gas has promoted the pipeline as a way to provide a much lower-cost and cleaner-burning fuel alternative to other parts of the state. But opponents challenged those claims. They said the extraction method of hydraulic fracking, which pumps large amounts of water mixed with chemicals underground, releases methane into the atmosphere, which they said is more harmful than the carbon dioxide emissions from fuel oil. And they said the price of natural gas is forecast to increase as demand increases and supplies diminish.
The board also heard objections to the use of eminent domain, if property owners along the route of the pipeline dont grant easements to Vermont Gas.
David Mook, who teaches at Castleton State College, said his students raised valid questions about the project. He said one student found it hard to understand how Vermont could import fracked gas when fracking is banned in the state. She said that doesnt seem right, Mook recalled.
Some opponents made impassioned pleas to the board while others put their objections to poetry. Applause often greeted speakers as they left the podium.
There were a handful of pipeline supporters present, including Betsy Bishop, president of the Vermont Chamber of Commerce.
There is an overwhelming majority of Vermonters and regional partners who support this project and Im delighted to represent that majority, said Bishop, whose statement drew laughs and a few critical comments from the audience.
Another supporter was Paul Stone, an Orwell farmer and former state secretary of agriculture.
I agree with the Vermont goal of 90 percent renewables by the year 2050, but I also know that fossil fuels will be needed for a long time until renewables are online and dependable, Stone said.
He also said Vermont would benefit from seeing a reduction in emissions that the wind carries over the lake from the IP plant, which now uses fuel oil.
Dan Yonkovig, of Starksboro, equated natural gas with good-paying jobs.
He said if there wasnt natural gas in Chittenden County, IBM would have pulled out a decade ago.
Yonkovig said natural gas is just as critical for other manufacturers in the state, otherwise people will find themselves working at convenience stores.
America is a manufacturing nation, we cant all be farmers, housewives, retirees, school teachers, work on the road crew, he said. Some of us build things. We process milk at AgriMark, we bottle beer at Otter Creek, we make microchips, we make paper.
The Addison Rutland Natural Gas Project would extend the pipeline from Chittenden County in three phases. In December, Vermont Gas received a certificate of public good for Phase I. The first leg of the pipeline which is now under construction would extend south to Vergennes and Middlebury, serving both residential and commercial customers. Phase II would serve the IP plant while Phase III would serve parts of Rutland County. Because IP is paying $62 million of the $64 million cost for Phase II, Vermont Gas has said that infusion of money will allow it to bring gas to Rutland 15 years earlier than anticipated.
Vermont Gas, a subsidiary of Gaz Metro of Montreal, has been providing natural gas to Chittenden and Franklin counties since 1965.
The PSB continues to receive public comments on docket 8180. Comments can be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.com or write PSB, 112 State St., Montpelier, VT 05620.
@rutlandherald.comMORE IN Vermont NewsMONTPELIER Rep. Peter Welch, D-Vt. Full StoryVermont Attorney General Bill Sorrell plans to join the U.S. Full StoryAs Rutland prepares to welcome Syrian refugees to its community, some are continuing to voice... Full Story
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"I have been listening to you on EWTN for about one year now. I left the Catholic Church 42 years ago and have been attending Protestant churches. After many struggles during this last year, I finally went to confession on Sunday. Thank you all so much for helping me on my journey home."
~ Peggy
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"Behold, for a thousand years the pictures of your forefathers holding rosaries in their hands have stood in this church."
~ Cardinal Klesl, to the citizens of Sankt Polten (Lower Austria) during the Reformation, explaining the historic and ancient nature of Catholic praxis.


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text: You are browsing in Zazzle's Teacher kitchen supply area, where you will come across a huge range of Teacher kitchen gift designs ready to be personalised or purchased as is. Great for decorating any kitchen, Zazzle's kitchen & dining products are printable in full colour, and you can add photos or text for free. To see similar products, go to our main teacher page.


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We fed our DS solids for the first time today. I read about BLS just after pureeing all this food we got out of our garden, so we won't be doing that for a bit, until the pureed food is gone at least. I have a few questions. I apologize in advance for the length and appreciate anyone who is willing to read through the book so I can find out the answers.
first, when DS was eating, he gagged a lot. It didn't seem to be from the taste, because he didn't do it until after a few bites. Then I thought maybe what I was feeding him (sweet potatoes that were thinned out already with formula - because I was worried about wasting breast milk if he doesn't like it) was too thick, so I thinned it out. He doesn't seem to realize he needs to swallow. He just let it all sit in his mouth and was rolling it around with his tongue (although it was really thin at the time so a lot came sloshing out of his mouth). He finally gagged and sort of threw up, so I stopped trying. When does he get the hang of actually swallowing? Also, can I thin out the food with water rather than milk or formula or should I still thin it out with those substances?
Also, DS went to the Dr today for his 6 month check up (1 mo late because dr rescheduled for a vacation). DH brought him because I had a meeting. DH is very anti solids and he is partly why we waited until today to feed him solids (I was fine with it, but didn't want to wait until 8 months like he wished to). When DS was weighed and measured he went down from 39 percentile to 14 percentile (he dropped that much in both weight and height so he isn't skinny, he is proportioned for his height). DH said Dr wasn't overly concerned, but said that DS did need to be eating solids and she was glad we were starting today. She gave DH a packet about foods and it says that he should be eating solids 4 times a day, every 4 hours and should have 3-9 tbsp of cereal, 1/4-1/2 cup of each fruits and veggies in addition to 24-30 ounces of milk each day. That seems like a lot to me, but maybe that is why DS has lost so many percentile points, because I was thinking breast feeding was enough. How much solids and how often should he be eating them at this point? I want to make sure DS gets all that he needs to be healthy and grow the way he should, but don't want him to be obese.
So basically, my questions are these: When should my baby get to the point where he realizes he needs to swallow his food rather than play with it in his mouth? Does him playing with his food mean he isn't ready? Can I thin out his food with water rather than breast milk or formula? How much should I be feeding him to make sure he doesn't lose more weight and to help him grow taller and gain more?
Thanks in advance for any help.


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The average cost for a Canister Purge Valve Replacement is between $158 and $199. Labor costs are estimated between $61 and $78 while parts are priced between $97 and $121. Get a personalized estimate based on your location and specific car. Estimate does not include taxes and fees.
Canister Purge Valve Replacement Cost for Ford Expedition
Canister Purge Valve Replacement Estimate (National Average)
Validated estimate range for national average.
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Labor: $61 - $78
Parts: $97 - $121
Estimate does not include taxes and fees.
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We recommend using a factory canister purge valve replacement part and checking for any applicable software updates for the power train control module (PCM).
After replacing the canister purge valve, we recommend performing a complete drive cycle test drive to verify that the evaporative system is functioning properly.
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The most common symptom of a defective canister purge valve is an illuminated Check Engine Light triggered by one or more evaporative system codes. Usually, there are no noticeable engine performance symptoms associated with a defective canister purge valve.
Common Misdiagnoses
Evaporative system diagnosis can be difficult and trouble codes can be triggered by sensors and components other than the canister purge valve.
Last step before receiving your estimate:
* Estimate for all Ford Expedition model years. Get a more accurate price by entering in your year.


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- Hits at the lower hip (25" from shoulder).
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A scene midway through Gareth Evans' action-crime thriller The Raid 2 exemplifies the excruciating and exhilarating experience of the gripping paean to the ballet, brutality and blood of martial-arts films.
The players aren't the key ones, but the action is exquisite as two attractive 20-something Indonesian assassins, a brother-sister team, identify their target in a subway car.
In a tight space with other passengers, Hammer Girl (a mesmerizing Julie Estelle), her long hair swinging in time with the claw hammers she wields, approaches the prey; her brother, Baseball Bat Man (Very Tri Yulisman), is a shoulder length behind. The man, cornered and desperate, clutches his briefcase.
The kicking and bashing then come with such furious speed that, if not for the gush of blood and the crack of bones, it would be hard to follow.
This obviously isn't a film for everyone's taste. For fans of the martial-arts genre, though, Evans has created a scintillating, if sometimes-imperfect, chapter.
The movie picks up where the Welsh-born writer-director's The Raid: Redemption left off in 2011. The hero, a clean rookie officer named Rama (Iko Uwais), is forced into an undercover assignment working for Bunawar (Cok Simbara), whose team is targeting police corruption in crime-infested Jakarta.
The Raid: Redemption was a bloody, bone-breaking blur unfolding over a single day in a mobster's high-rise as an unsanctioned police raid goes terribly wrong.
The Raid 2, even more brutal and an hour longer, is far more complex, playing out over several years and allowing for the character development that was missing in the first.
The film follows Rama as he takes on a new name, Yuda, and a criminal identity to infiltrate Jakarta's most dangerous mob family. The first step is to get close to Uco, a local godfather's son who is in prison. As the two years Yuda spends behind bars shows, Uco (a smoldering Arifin Putra) is a hothead with none of the polished corporate sensibility of his father, Bangun (Tio Pakusadewo).
Yuda's infiltrating takes us into the grit and the grime of Jakarta's drug and prostitution rings, and to the placid green sugar-cane fields where the bodies are buried.
Putra is excellent as the entitled son who is ever-vacillating between defiance and submission.
But this is Uwais' movie. He is a remarkable athlete. The sheer precision, speed and artistry contained within each kick and punch is astonishing.
Raid 2 also gives the actor more to do than fight. He broods about his state of jeopardy, misses his wife and child, and rages against the machinations of both cops and criminals.
As inventive as the action sequences are, there are too many of them, and they tend to go on far too long.
Still, Evans' filmmaking has been impressively fine-tuned for The Raid 2. It is something to see — if you have the stomach for it.


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Barrett leads Democrats in Wisconsin recall primary
MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett hopes for the chance at a rematch with Wisconsin's Republican Gov. Scott Walker as Democrats decide who will take on the first-term governor in a recall election.
Barrett was one of four Democrats on Tuesday's primary ballot looking to take on Walker in the June 5 general election. The recall was spurred over anger related to a Walker-backed law that effectively ended collective bargaining rights for most state workers.
Polls have consistently shown Barrett ahead of other Democrats. Barrett has strong name recognition across the state, having just run against Walker for governor in 2010.
Other Democrats on the ballot are former Dane County Executive Kathleen Falk, Secretary of State Doug La Follette and state Sen. Kathleen Vinehout.
Copyright 2012 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


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Freedom New Mexico
A new law enforcement agency is growing quietly in Texas. While it's likely that few people see the motives behind this change as cause for alarm, it seems redundant, and therefore an unnecessary draw on tax funds that already are being fought over.
The Attorney General's office frequently gains a new department with police authority, to deal with specific crimes. Past legislative sessions have given the attorney general power to set up new departments and form task forces to deal with colonia development, identity theft and notary fraud along the border, among other issues.
Texas State Sen. Leticia Van de Putte, D-San Antonio, has pre-filed Senate Bill 89 for the upcoming legislative session to create a new branch of state bureaucracy to deal with human trafficking, specifically the crime of forcing people into the sex trade.
"It is vile," Van de Putte said at a Monday news conference in Austin that included Attorney General Greg Abbott. "It is almost unthinkable what happens to these victims."
Abbott focused on women and children forced into the sex trade. He likened it to slavery, and said the problem is getting worse each year. SB 89 addresses his desire to have the authority to prosecute such crimes. The bill also creates offices within the attorney general's department to track, research and investigate reports of human trafficking and sex crimes.
To be sure, such crimes are horrific. That is why they already are addressed in current state and federal law.
The Texas Penal Code already has provisions for kidnapping, unlawful restraint, unlawful transport and compelling prostitution.
Federal civil rights laws also deal with such matters.
Thus, local police and sheriff's departments, the Texas Department of Public Safety and U.S. Justice Department already investigate and prosecute such crimes. They do so through the state and federal district courts, which already exist to ensure the due process and open litigation that our criminal system mandates.
Adding another office, with its obvious need for a share of limited tax resources, to deal with these crimes deserves to be questioned. Instead of creating new departments, with their need for new offices, new personnel and new expenses, it seems more efficient to instead provide more support to existing agencies that already deal with these matters.
Doing whatever is possible to reduce and even eliminate forced and coerced labor and prostitution is a laudable goal. It seems, however, that the best way to address the problem would be to invest our limited resources in enforcement rather than bureaucracy.


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The event kicks off at 11 a.m. with brimming barbecue sirloin plates complete with all the trimmings and homemade desserts. The $8 plates will be served inside the parish hall until 2 p.m., or they can be picked up in the drive-through lane located on Travis street. Meat may also be purchased at the pit by the pound.
For those interested in finding unique items, the live auction begins at 12:30 p.m., and the country store and market will be open throughout the day and will include homemade jams, jellies, baked items and arts and crafts items.
Bingo will run from 2:30 to 6:30 p.m. Players can either bring their own daubers or they can purchase them at the hall. The prizes will be cash.
Other events slated throughout the day include children's games, silent auction and a parish raffle. Raffle tickets are $2 each and can be purchased from parishioners, or you may go by the St. George church office. The winners of the raffle will be drawn at 6:30 p.m., and you need not be present to win.
For more information or to purchase raffle tickets, contact the St. George Parish office at (361) 449-1893.


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The Mill Valley Police Department provides a Vacation Watch for city residents on request. This service is for residents who will be leaving their homes vacant, and consists of extra patrols of your home while you are away. When you click on the following link, you will see a form that you can fill in and submit online to MVPD. If you prefer to print the empty form and fill it out by hand, you can mail it to: MVPD, One Hamilton Drive, Mill Valley, CA 94941. You can also fax it to 415-389-4148.
To request a vacation watch, fill out our Vacation Watch Form. You can send it back to us via email (firstname.lastname@example.com), fax (415.389.4148), mail, or deliver it in person to 1 Hamilton Drive - across from Hauke Park)
VACATION SECURITYVacation is a time for fun and relaxation. Don't let your vacation be ruined by crime. Please follow these tips.
On the road
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text: RSS Events Feeds Missouri Personal Finance Challenge 10/7/2013 12:00 PM - 11/12/2013 2:00 PM After an online round in which nearly 1,000 students compete annually, 100 students are invited to the MO Entrepreneurship Challenge State Final on the second Tuesdeay of November at Missouri Western State University (the primary event sponsor). The students that participated in the online round work in teams of five to design a business plan addressing a different scenario each year. A group of volunteer judges reviews and scores the business plans. The judges are always extremely impressed with the creative ideas, but perhaps more importantly, the thoughtful planning demonstrated by these students.At the annual event to celebrate Global Entrepreneurship Week, 100 students compete to win cash prizes and scholarships to the Missouri Western University Craig School of Business. Learn More: Missouri Personal Finance Challenge


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Reviewed By Jaime G (OCEANSIDE, CA) Reviewed for a 2005 Mazda 3 —3/3/2015 8:12 AM
I replaced my original factory pads with 160K miles on them with these and I chose them mostly out of price and less for performance, and it claimed to be quiet. They are quiet and very easy to modulate with excellent feel all the way to the limit. I was pleasantly surprised. I have driven about 300 miles and they are quiet if a bit dirty but still very liveable for daily commuters. A definite worthy upgrade from the OEM pads.


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The Mill Valley Art Commission invites you to join us at one of our premier events, the First Tuesday Artwalk. On the First Tuesday of every month, between 6:00 and and 8:00 pm, we invite you to take a stroll through town to view exciting exhibits featuring a wide range of art by local artists.
Click here for the February First Tuesday ArtWalk Guide. Participating venues are listed on the Art Commission page.David Delany Exhibited at the Mill Valley Community Center
James Shay Exhibited at Robert Green Fine Art
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Graduation Announcement
Graduation announcements, thank you notes, stickers and other items may be purchased online beginning Friday, February 15 with Jostens. CLICK HERE to be directed to the Jostens website to view and purchase these items.
Announcement orders may also be placed with a Jostens Representative at GRADFEST! on February 26-28.
Order early to assure you get your announcements in time to mail out before Commencement!
Announcements will be received 2-3 weeks after the order is placed. See the Downloadable Jostens Flyer for pricing and information.
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January 22, 2014 —
HURLEYVILLE, NY — Jazz vocalist Donna Singer, a native and former resident of Sullivan County, will perform with The Doug Richards Trio at a dinner-concert event to benefit Literacy Volunteers of Sullivan County on Friday, February 21 at 6:30 p.m. at Nadia's Hungarian Buffet, 222 Main St.
Singer, an international jazz recording artist now based in West Palm Beach, is reuniting with the Doug Richards Trio. Bassist Doug Richards, pianist Billy Alfred, and drummer Mike Cervone combine their years of experience to create exciting jazz.
The Literacy Volunteers of Sullivan County 501(c)(3) is a not-for-profit organization that provides a variety of free services to help people achieve personal goals through literacy. Through a trained corps of volunteer tutors, it is their mission to foster and enhance family literacy, assist adults functioning at low levels of literacy, and further proficiency in English as a second language. It is the goal of Literacy Volunteers of Sullivan County to help adults obtain reading, writing and speaking skills to improve the quality of their lives. Connie Keller is the executive director and they are located at 63 North Street, Monticello NY, 845/794-0017.
Tickets cost $20 per person and include Nadia's all-you-can-eat buffet. The event is BYOB. For tickets and reservations, call Keller at 845/794-0017 or call Nadia's at 845/693-5104.