text:
Welcome to the official thread where I, JMD031, will not only be reposting my now imfamous rants but also will be producing new ones for you to enjoy.
Since these were originally posted in the "Do Not Reply to This Thread" thread (this is not a time for jokes) I will encourage others to post here much like they posted there. If anything it will give me fuel for further rants.
So enjoy, and if you don't like my rants you can (expletive deleted) a (redacted).
This first rant was a short one and one that was probably the most random. It's about Space Weasels and was suggested by TOZ.
I live in a semi-rural environment. Semi-rural meaning that I'm not out in BFE, but I don't live in the big city. Some people may call it the Suburbs but those people can go (expletive deleted) themselves. Now it just so happens that I have a small garden in my backyard, nothing spectacular mind you just a small assortment of herbs. For a good while now, I've had no problems with my garden and I've had some nice home-made spices to use when I cook. But recently, something has been happening to my herbs. They're coming up missing, or trampled on, or even discolored. The culprit? Space weasels. That's right, (expletive deleted) Space weasels. "How can you be so sure?" you might ask. Well, shut up a minute and I'll tell you. You see, I thought long and hard about this for about 5 minutes and it occurred to me that at night some weird things have been going on recently. There are strange lights coming from outside and my clock radio is picking up weird signals. Not to mention the tiny foot prints on my back porch. I'm telling you its down right spooky. Sounds crazy? Well, you go ahead and don't believe me if you want to, but I'll be sitting here in my basement with my tin foil hat and shotgun loaded for when those (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) space weasels come to (expletive deleted) all of us.
Tune in tomorrow when I rant about World of Warcraft.
This next rant was about World of Warcraft. It's funny because as I'm re-reading it, I've noticed that while the initial "anger" about the expansion has gone down nothing has really changed except how they were doing the Beta which is pretty much allowing everybody the chance to play it. Whatever, enjoy.
World of Warcraft? More like World of Borecraft. If I wanted to do the same repetitive boring thing for hours on end I'll go watch reruns of As the Paint Dries. Don't get me wrong, I'm two years clean. Isn't that sad? I'm talking about quitting the game as if I'm a recovering addict, but that's another rant. One of the things I hated most about the game was the superiority complex people would get about it. "Your gearscore isn't high enough for this raid that's obviously going to fail because we care about imaginary numbers more than player skill" or "This game was better back in vanilla where when things were much harder and the fights weren't just different variations of the same concepts just with different polygons". On that last note, how many fights can you conceivably come up with that amount to "don't stand in the fire" and yet still have people fail these time and time again. Another thing I hated about the game was that after you reached max level you were practically forced to either join a raiding guild or PvP, because there was nothing to do but *shudder* dailies. Who thought this was a good idea? "Let's have all the players do the most boring, menial 'quests' we can come up with for the sole purpose of *snicker* (air quotes) making money". Seriously, these (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) really grinded my gears. So now they have announced a new expansion, keeping in mind they have yet to release the final content for their current expansion, and what do they come up with? PANDAS. That's right, (expletive deleted) pandas. Really? I mean out of all of the things they could have added to the game at this point...Pandas. How do you go from having people fight Deathwing the Destroyer to introducing Pandas to the game. This isn't just jumping the proverbial shark, this is more like parachuting into the shark's mouth while waving around a flag that says, "Go (expletive deleted) yourself fans!" Now, they (I'm refusing to call them by name for fear of summoning one of thier evil minions) are telling us that this is something that fans have been wanting for a while, which I will give them, but that was like two expansions ago. I mean lets really look at this, you go from 'vanilla' to BC and fighting Demons to Wrath of the Lich King where you fight...the (expletive deleted) Lich King to Cataclysm where you fight a (expletive deleted) super pissed off Dragon/God to messing around on some (expletive deleted) island because ???. I'm guessing that they are so busy with thier new pet project 'Titan' that they have decided to just let WoW die. Truth be told, I could go on, but I just realized I spent way to much time ranting about this (expletive deleted) game that not only to I no longer play, but I couldn't even be bribed into playing at this point.
Tune in tomorrow for when I rant about...airplane disasters? Seriously? Because let me....no, not until tomorrow.
It should be noted that this was the first time I decided how I was going to end all of the rants. A preview of things to come in a way, was how I looked at it.
The next rant was about airplane disasters. It was here that I started to realize that I likely wouldn't be able to keep up the pace I had originally set for myself. Mainly because I started to question how funny the rant was. I now know why Dave Chappelle quit his show.
So today I'm suppossed to talk about airplane disasters. Want to know what the real disaster is? Paying (expletive deleted) $75 for your luggage to fly with you. Let me ask you something, how is it that it costs any more for one piece of luggage to travel under the plane than it does for you to fly inside it? Now I'm no engineer, but if the plane can lift X amount of weight every single time and will likely spend the same amount of fuel to do so every single time, it stands to reason that it doesn't cost that much more to fly an empty plane that it would to fly a completely full one. Does your automobile expend more fuel when you cart your friends around or your groceries? Not (expletive deleted) likely. And while we are talking about airplane disasters, why is that everytime one of these (expletive deleted) things fall out of the sky it makes national news YET is still considered one of the "safest" methods of travel? I don't know about any of you, but if I was on a flight to Seattle for say Paizocon, and the (expletive deleted) thing went down, I would be madder than Freehold DM at a Joss Whedon fan club convention. Truth be told, from where I live it would pretty much cost the same amount for me to just drive there with the only difference is the amount of wear and tear I would put on my car. Speaking of airplane crashes making the news, what the (expletive deleted) makes it news? I think it is some morbid curiousity we have with stuff that crashes, which explains why the (expletive deleted) NASCAR is so (expletive deleted) popular. How often do you drive to work and wonder why the traffic is slowed down to find out that there was an accident IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. (Expletive deleted) that (expleteive deleted) me off. If I seriously wanted to know about death and destruction I would just move to some inner city location and hang a sign outside my door with enough racial slurs to (expletive deleted) off everyone. News isn't that anymore. It is all about the shock and awe....but I'm getting off-topic. What was I ranting about? Oh right, airplane disasters. Who picked this topic, because its not a very good one. What the (expletive deleted) were you expecting me to rant about? (Expletive deleted) this, I'm done.
Tune in tomorrow for another fun filled rant about The Euro Currancy Crisis....seriously? Man, who came up with this (expletive deleted)?
This rant was one I wasn't really happy with. It was just very meh. It didn't have any bite to it, but I also think that had a lot to do with me trying to force the issue. It is after this one that I decide to not pressure myself and just let the rants flow from within. Anyways, here is this one about the Euro Currancy Crisis.
The Euro Currancy Crisis is probably something I should be more concerned about...except I'm not because I'm an American. See, that's the American way. We act all oblivious to problems that will effect us and then (expletive deleted) about it when it actually happens to us. But this is supposed to be about Europe, not America. The way I see it, (and trust me it's from the standpoint of someone who really doesn't know what is going on) this whole thing started as a semi-good idea that has now blown up in everyone's face. Initially, all these countries were cool, each contributing what they could to ensure the survivial of the currancy and things were good. Then, someone had to go and (expletive deleted) it all up. This particular country (I'll not name it for it's own good but it sounds like an old movie with John Travolta and Olivia Newton John) is in serious debt for some reason I couldn't tell you. But the end result is like living with a drug addict, where you know that any money you give the person you will never see again. If I'm correct, this is pretty much exactly what these other countries have decided, they basically said, "Well (expletive delted), that's money we'll never see again. Might as well take the loss and move on". The question is, will it work? Of course it won't. Much like the drug addict, I'm almost positive this particualr country...or one like it, will continue making bad financial decisions. I know this as much as I know that the sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar...(expletive deleted) now I got that (expletive deleted) song stuck in my head. My point being, just because the debt is being forgotten about, it doesn't mean that suddenly the country will start turning itself around and start producing like it once was. No, in order for that to happen, lots of money needs to be put into restoring it to what it once was, with the promise that this time they will pay it back. However, where is this money going to come from? And furthermore, if they were able to come up with the money, which country would cause the next crisis from bailing this one out? It seems like they are in a never ending cycle of debt. Which is sad but at least the Euro is still worth more than the American dollar...which really isn't saying much. Hmm, this rant wasn't as ranty as it could have been. Perhaps it's because of my American heritage and my obliviousness to all things not American that has curbed my fire this evening. Hopefully, I will be able to provide you with a more entertaining rant when I rant about...France - The Nation or the National Identity. Oh that will be a good one I'm sure.
This rant I felt very good about, although the original was lost due to internet malfunctions. This started the trend where I would open up a Word document and type up all of my rants and then simply copy and paste them after they were done.
Alright boys and girls, time for another rant. This time I've taken precautions to ensure I don't lose my rant before it's posted. Today I will be talking about France – the nation or the national identity. Yesterday I had this whole thing where I first talked about how I don't hate all French people, just a certain subsection. So, I'll pretty much start from there. A good portion of the French people are ok in my book. This is because they remember what happened during WWII and are grateful for the efforts of the allies during that time. Unfortunately, a small minority don't remember and are also the most vocal. These pretentious (expletive deleted) are so full of themselves that they likely couldn't enter into a room because their heads are so over inflated. Honestly, I hope those (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) choke on their (expletive deleted) own (expletive deleted) while another (expletive deleted) person (expletive deleted) them in their (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted). Why do you ask? Because they're a bunch of (expletive deleted) elitist (expletive deleted). Don't get me wrong, Americans can be a bunch of (expletive deleted) elitist jerks, but at least we admit it and, sadly, pride ourselves on it. The thing that really bugs me is how people from that country will sit there and act all high and mighty, telling other people how to act, pretending like their (expletive deleted) doesn't stink, and all the while being a bunch of (expletive deleted) hypocrites. "What do you mean by hypocrites?" Well, shut the (expletive deleted) up and I'll tell you. From my vantage point, this vocal minority that I despise so much, talks a big game about how they are better than the rest of the world because they are not war mongers and are more civilized than the rest us. (Expletive deleted). These (expletive deleted) are no better than anyone else because they, like the U.S and others, have nukes. Not only that, they are actively testing them. Now for what reason would a country need nuclear arms for? These are not defensive weapons. The only reason to use a nuclear weapon is if you want to ensure that your opponent will never (expletive deleted) with you again AND no one will ever what to go into that location ever again. I do not believe that they have these weapons "just in case". Just in case of what exactly? When they get a (expletive deleted) up their (expletive deleted) and decide to end everything? Not on my watch froggie. The only other reason to have "the bomb" is for the power that comes with it. Every major country in the world today has it and every country that wants recognition as a big name is trying to get it. Don't believe me? I believe North Korea and Iran may beg to differ. No bomb, no respect. Getting back on topic, if France is so sophisticated, why do they still have nuclear weapons? Why don't they start the trend of not having to have nuclear weapons and still being a major force in the world? Maybe then I'll have some respect for the country, but until then they will always be the country that got the (expletive deleted) kicked out of them in WWII.
Tune in next time for a rant about...severed limbs. Hmm, I'm going to have to really think about that one.
This rant is another short one and to be honest I kind of just phoned this one in...metaphorically speaking. However, I feel is was one of my better rants only because of the incoherent thought train and the argument with myself at the end. Enjoy.
Time for a new rant. Today's rant is about…severed limbs? What exactly am I supposed to (expletive deleted) say here? That severed limbs are gross? I mean they are but seriously, what can you say about them? Was this meant to be a joke, because it's not (expletive deleted) funny. Seriously, what sort of deranged and twisted (expletive deleted) would want to hear a rant about severed limbs? A severely sick, deranged and twisted (expletive deleted), that's who. When I was younger I was in the Boy Scouts (no jokes please, you sick pervs) and my scout master was missing his left hand, it really creeped me out. Like I wanted to know how he lost it…yet at the same time I didn't. What is it with our sick fascination with morbid things like that? Why do we have to slow down and watch the car crash scene? This is beginning to sound like my airplane disaster rant, so I'm going to move on. Do you know the hardest thing about doing these rants? Asking these stupid (expletive deleted) rhetorical questions like I'm going to (expletive deleted) get an answer. Seriously, what kind of pretentious (expletive deleted) am I? See, there I go again, it's like I'm addicted or something. Alright, this rant officially sucks. But it is a necessary evil to get everyone closer to the rant they want to see…The TOZ rant which is not coming up next time. Next time I will be ranting about Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition. Notice what I did there? I didn't give a specific time that way you are not disappointed when it doesn't show up tomorrow. Pretty slick, huh? Man, I really do sound like a (expletive deleted).
This rant is one of my favorites and is also the first time I started being concerned about length. Truth be told, I could have gone on and on about that topic, but I thought to myself "where is the line?" I thought were I ended it was a good place because it made it seem like I had so much more to say but I didn't want to bore everyone with it.
JMD031's Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition RantI had to put a lot of thought into this one. When I saw this topic I was like "(expletive deleted) yeah!" but then I realized that I could potentially rekindle the (expletive deleted) edition wars. And that got me to thinking (expletive deleted), I don't want to do that. So, let me just start out and say that this is not an "Anti-4th ed" rant. On its own, I kind of like the system. I've recently ran a game of Gamma World and that was a blast. The system has a lot of good qualities but like any system it is not without its flaws. Now, it is story time. Years ago when I was but a young lad I had no knowledge of Roleplaying games. I was, however, really interested into Video Games mainly fighting games, but that's a story for a different time. One year I really wanted a Playstation, mainly because I wanted to play Final Fantasy 7 which was my first experience with RPGs. Some of you may scoff at this, but keep in mind we have to start somewhere. So, there I was playing Final Fantasy 7 when a friend of mine asked me "would you want to play this game for real?" The rest as they say is history. I started playing during the end of 2nd edition. So I don't remember things like colored coded boxes for adventures, or coloring the numbers on the dice, or even when elves were a class and not a race. I do remember things like THACO and how a low level wizard was pretty much (expletive deleted) after he casted any spells because he had no other options. When 3rd edition came out, I was skeptical but as I read it I realized that it wasn't all that different from 2nd, keeping in mind that I didn't know the rules that well but the general concepts were the same. I started playing 3rd edition the second it came out and (expletive deleted) was I hooked. When they updated the rules to 3.5, I was fine with that as nothing is perfect and they fixed quite a few things. Then they decided to upgrade a new edition. Like many people I was skeptical, but initially I was ok with it. Why? Because I was told that the Star Wars Saga edition would be a "preview" of the changes to come. I liked the way the Saga edition was set up it made things simpler yet retained a lot of the feel of 3rd/3.5. Then 4th edition was released. Like many fan boys I rushed out and purchased the books. It wasn't until a few weeks went by that I realized what I had in my hands… Now, on its own, without the word Dungeons and Dragons on the cover, I would consider it a good system and I might even use it for some kind of game. But I do not feel it is Dungeons and Dragons. To me it is the (expletive deleted) lovechild of a miniature game, a card game and a video game with "roleplaying elements". Now I'm sure you can play the game however you want but the rules of the game from the book pretty much spell this out. The other thing that really (expletive deleted) me off about it was how the first set of books were "incomplete". It really (expletive deleted) me off to know that I would have to purchase more than 3 books just to play the game. (Expletive delete) that. So then I started looking for an alternative. Why? Because while I could have continued playing 3.5…I no longer wanted to. I felt betrayed by the company that I spent soooo much money on the past several years. Keep in mind that I have no issues with the system, it's just not DnD and it should have never been. Why do I feel betrayed? Simple, I've put the better part of 10 years into playing a particular version of the game, I know the rules, I'm familiar with them and with some minor tweaking they could be really great. Now, you might say, "Isn't this like when 2nd ed came out?" You are right, but not all at the same time. When 3rd ed came out, I really didn't know 2nd ed, but I dove head first into 3rd and honestly the changes between 2nd and 3rd were big but not in such a way that you couldn't recognize the game. Fourth is nothing like Third except in a skeletal sense, i.e. you roll a d20 and you have skills, feats and levels and such. Other than that, it's a completely different game. It's saying "The White Wolf system is exactly like DnD because you roll dice." Alright this rant has gone on long enough, and if you are still reading well (expletive deleted) kudos to you. Tune in next time when I rant about Dead Middle East Dictators.
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Anklebiter Humperdink
|Gruumash .
This next rant is one I'm pretty happy about. It was the right length and on topic. I really like the comment "Live Middle East Dictators = bad, Dead Middle East Dictators = Good". Enjoy.
I'm feeling like doing a little ranting. Let's check the list shall we? Dead Middle East Dictators? Alright, here we go. You know what the best thing about Dead Middle East Dictators is? That they are (expletive deleted) dead. Seriously, who the (expletive deleted) do these guys think they are anyways? And for that matter, how the (expletive deleted) do they rise up to power anyways? They are like one guy, and there is like a very large number of other people in the country. Why are they letting one guy rise up and take that kind of power? Ignorance, that's how. Most people don't really know what's going on until it's too late. This is all changing however with the rise of communication technology. Look at Libya. They had this (expletive deleted) guy running the country for years and boy was he crazy. Anyways, the people began to see things beyond their country and they were like, "Hey, why don't we have that?" Now, in some countries the (expletive deleted) uses this to his advantage and says "Because the United States doesn't want you to have it" but that is becoming harder and harder to sell since all we do is tell people, "We want you to be like us…just not as successful". Back to the Dead Middle East (expletive deleted), because of the rise of technology, they are unable to have the strangle hold they once had because people are able to see their lies for what they really are…lies. So, in the end, who wins when a Middle East Dictator is dead? Everybody, the people of the country, the US, and everyone else. What we definitely need in this world are less (expletive deleted) like that Ahmadinejad (expletive deleted) and others like him. The Holocaust didn't happen my (expletive deleted). Where was I? Oh yeah, if you think about it, only good things can come from the death of a Middle East Dictator. For instance, the people won't be run into the ground by some (expletive deleted) military force run by the (expletive deleted) dictator. The people may actually get basic needs met like food and shelter instead of living in fear that some bat(expletive deleted) crazy dictator is going to get a wild hair up his (expletive deleted) and start (expletive deleted) killing people or what not. Ok, I think this rant has gone on long enough. To sum up, Live Middle East Dictators = bad, Dead Middle East Dictators = Good.
Tune in next time when I rant about Space Weasels….didn't I already do that one. That should be an easy one.
This next rant started out as a cop out rant because I simply reposted my first rant as it was the same topic. I added a little extra so it didn't seem like it was a complete cop out.
New rant time! I know what some of you are thinking. Is he really that (expletive deleted) stupid to rant about the same thing twice? The answer is no. Instead I'm going to give you a blast from the past.Me wrote:I live in a semi-rural environment. Semi-rural meaning that I'm not out in BFE, but I don't live in the big city. Some people may call it the Suburbs but those people can go (expletive deleted) themselves. Now it just so happens that I have a small garden in my backyard, nothing spectacular mind you just a small assortment of herbs. For a good while now, I've had no problems with my garden and I've had some nice home-made spices to use when I cook. But recently, something has been happening to my herbs. They're coming up missing, or trampled on, or even discolored. The culprit? Space weasels. That's right, (expletive deleted) Space weasels. "How can you be so sure?" you might ask. Well, shut up a minute and I'll tell you. You see, I thought long and hard about this for about 5 minutes and it occurred to me that at night some weird things have been going on recently. There are strange lights coming from outside and my clock radio is picking up weird signals. Not to mention the tiny foot prints on my back porch. I'm telling you its down right spooky. Sounds crazy? Well, you go ahead and don't believe me if you want to, but I'll be sitting here in my basement with my tin foil hat and shotgun loaded for when those (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) space weasels come to (expletive deleted) all of us.
Update: Those (expletive deleted) things haven't been around much and some might say that's because it's winter here in the US of A but I think it's just a way for them to lull me into a false sense of security so they can strike when I least expect it.
Tune in next time for when I rant about Root Canals.
This rant was difficult to do because while I hate root canals, what more can you say about them except that you hate them? Besides this rant was in the way of the TOZ rant so I kind of rushed ended it quickly in order to get to that one.
JMD031's Infamous Rants. Brought to you by some corporate industry. Anyways, this rant is supposed to be about root canals. I've never had a root canal so I really can't rant about them. But I have been to the dentist and I can rant about that. Do you know what (expletive deleted) me off about dentist? When these (expletive deleted) guys have their hands in your mouth and they talk to you. What the (expletive deleted) is that about? Do you know how hard it is to talk with someone's (expletive deleted) hands in your mouth? And what's with all the pain inducing tools? Seriously, if it wasn't for the fact that you could die from diseases of the mouth, I'd be perfectly fine with getting rid of the whole profession. What really gets me is these guys know less than a doctor but charge just as much as a doctor. Is it really worth that much just to look at someone's teeth? Sometimes I wish I would have become a dentist so I'd have a reason to hate myself. Seriously, the only profession that (expletive deleted) me off more are cable repair technicians. "I'll be over to your house to overcharge you for cable sometime between tomorrow at 8AM and then end of the year. If you are not home at that time you'll have to call back and reschedule for the end of never. [insert evil laughter here]" I think there is a special place in hell for these (expletive deleted) people. Cable TV just pisses me off anyways. How can you have over a thousand channels of content and still have (expletive deleted) nothing on? Where was I? Oh, I'm supposed to talk about root canals, well (expletive deleted) that. That is a stupid topic and whoever came up with it needs to come up with better ones. Ok, rant done. Tune in next time for a rant about TOZ…(dun, dun, dunnnnn!).
This rant is very bittersweet for me. It is one of my better rants, but it was done after some very bad stuff happened in my life. Part of me thinks that doing this rant was, in a small way, a way to move on. Anyways, enough rambling on my part, enjoy the TOZ rant.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for….THE TOZ RANT!!!!!! *dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn*
First a brief interlude. I was all set to writing this when I had a terrible thing happen to me, the details of which are not important because the last thing I need is for some (expletive deleted) random (expletive deleted) giving me grief about this event. Anyways, I had it all planned out in my head. What I was going to say, how I was going to say it, all of it. And then I just didn't feel like it. This wasn't laziness or apathy, it just didn't seem important at all. I have spent the past several weeks trying to do two things: make sense of what happened and to put my life back to some sense of normalicy (whatever that is). For a while I had no intention of doing any other rants. I mean, why? What was the purpose? It wasn't until I was able to answer those questions that I was able to decide to continue what I started. If for anything but to do exactly what I feel I need and that is to have my life back to the way it was. Alright enough of this (expletive deleted) touchy feely stuff, on to the rant.
I want to start off this rant by saying that I think TOZ is a great guy. I mean that. He's a stand-up guy who speaks his mind and doesn't give a rat's (expletive deleted) what anyone says about it. He's funny, insightful and generally makes the forums a better place. Now I realize that some of you are wondering "where is the anger?" or perhaps "this isn't a rant, this is a (expletive deleted) contest". Well, I'm getting to that. To me, TOZ is a likable guy and if you don't like TOZ well you are just Un-American. That's right hating TOZ is the equivalent to liking Al-Qeada. Why is that? Because TOZ stands for all the things that makes America great: Being confident, speaking your mind and generally not giving a (expletive deleted) what others people have to say. On top of that, TOZ is an American Soldier. While that may not mean a whole lot to some, it means a whole lot to those who are in the service. See a lot of people in this country (expletive deleted) and moan about every little thing that is wrong with this country while expecting their every demand to be handed to them on a (expletive deleted) silver platter. Some of you know what I'm talking about, the so-called "Fat lazy American". Well, to me TOZ is a shining beacon of hope against that stereotype because unlike those other people, he (like many other people) are doing their part to keep this country safe from foreign threats. Now I'm sure some of you out there will try to argue with me about the ethics of what the American military is doing, but that's not what this is about. In a lot of ways, the American military members are cogs in the "Great Wheel" that is this country and much like cogs you would find in a machine, there are all kinds with many shapes and sizes, good ones and bad ones, and so on. What makes TOZ stand out is that he has all of the good qualities that you would expect from someone representing our country and (at least to my knowledge) none of the bad qualities. So, if you hate TOZ, you might as well move to Afghanistan right now because only terrorist could hate someone so (expletive deleted) cool.
Alright, that is enough (expletive deleted) about TOZ. Tune in next time when I rant about…llamas. Seriously? Llamas? Who came up with these topics? I mean (expletive deleted) this whole thing is…
I believe this is the last rant of the thread before it was closed. And it was about such a fun topic, llamas. I basically just looked up wikipedia and then typed some stuff and while I was doing that remembered a bit from The Whitest Kids You Know about how the teacher hated Wikipedia and decided to do this instead. Enjoy.
On this edition of JMD031's famous rants, Llamas. What on earth am I going to (expletive deleted) talk about in regards to llamas. All I know about llamas is that they are mammals and they are used in the same manner as donkeys and goats are here up north. Other than that I know there is a bit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail about llamas. Which means I don't know jack (expletive deleted) about llamas. But that hasn't stopped me before! Now I'm not entirely certain on this but I believe that llamas have a tendency to spit and also have pretty nasty tempers. So that makes them pretty (expletive deleted) disgusting animals. I mean I've seen pigs living in their own (expletive deleted) and that's probably the only other animal that is more disgusting to me. I made a comment earlier that llamas are akin to donkeys and goats and would appear to be some weird hybrid animal with all of the bad parts of both. They are (expletive deleted) stubborn and are pretty much just used as beasts of burden. So why are llamas so important? (Expletive deleted) if I know. I know they are primarily used in countries that have a lot of mountains and they are good climbers so they do have that going for them. Wikipedia says: llamas originated in the central plains of North America about 40 million years ago and then migrated to South America about three million years ago. You know what? (Expletive deleted) Wikipedia. That's right, you heard me, (expletive deleted) Wikipedia. How could anyone know that? Was there anyone around 40 million years ago to know exactly where these animals originated from or are they just guessing based off of (expletive deleted) fossils. That whole thing sounds like a load of garbage anyways, 40 million years ago…might as well be 100 million years ago. Alright, this rant is looking to be a tad on the long side and I'm certain most of you won't even read it…unless you are a llama sympathizer. Tune in next time when I will rant about that (expletive deleted) guy who said I should stop ranting. Man that was a while ago…I'm going to have to bring up his post so that everyone will even remember that. (Expletive deleted)! That means I have to (expletive deleted) go back through the (expletive deleted) thread. (Expletive deleted) me.
Remaining topics to rant about:
That (expletive deleted) guy who said I should stop ranting.
Followers of [Redacted]
That darn draft that keeps coming in through this thread
Some one suggested I rant about a random list of monsters but I think we can do better than that.
Since I'm done mourning the loss of my old thread, I will try to work up some good rage for the next rant. But until then please offer your suggestions for rants that are not about Leafar the Lost.
|gran rey de los mono
How about any of the following:
Those annoying automated telephone menu things (you know, press 1 for blah, press 2 for blech, etc...)
Customers who bug me while I'm trying to do something important, like browse the Paizo message boards
People who talk in netspeak (LOL, OMG, ROTFLMAO, etc...)
|Turin the Mad
Those jackanape "debt collectors" that mistake you for some one else - as if you have any more money that the guy who shirked on the "debt" the jackanapes are now determined that YOU owe them for.
Spam that the e-mail filters fail to catch. Or spam that cleverly dodges the nets during its annual spawning runs up long Alaskan rivers. Or both.
|The Un-Believer
|Gruumash .
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Gruumash .
|Gruumash .
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Marijuakurion {4:20}
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Gark the Goblin
|1 person marked this as a favorite.
Okay so I see that there's a rant thread, and I think to myself, why the {bleep} does this {bleep} {bleep} get to have his own thread for ranting? No one deserves their own thread. Not even guys who are the alter ego, of Leafar the Lost, who is basically Aroden. I mean, where the {bleep} do you get off making a sock puppet? How {bleep} sick do you have to be? And to make a bunch of {bleep} rhetorical questions? That's seriously delirious {bleep}. Guys who have the nerve to talk about root canals when their own avatar is a skull with white polished teeth deserve to have a blue slaad {bleep} them in the {bleep} and turn into a {bleep} protean. That's another thing. Proteans are basically slaadi, and it's a really cheap ripoff. They're frog-shaped, lack any hierarchy, and have {bleep} rainbow skin! I haven't read the Pathfinder books, but I just hang out in the political forum and it's really uninspired. To be quite frank, I'm not even sure how Paiso hasn't gotten sued yet. Probably because they're part of the infernal militariy indrustralia complex. Wizards can't touch them. You know who else are wizards? Liches. I'm assuming guys with white teeth are liches and - and where the {bleep} do liches come from anyways? Are they German or something? We defeated Germany in the War of 1812, we don't have to take their {bleep}. I'm getting off topic. A personal thread is the apex of narcissism, and anyone who makes one deserves a swift boot to the kick.
Join me next time where I rant about a topic I pulled from GoogleAds while searching for {bleep}!
Oh and I guess the only guy who deserves his own thread is a god.
Leafar, we miss you.
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Gruumash .
|Pillbug Toenibbler
|Don Juan de Doodlebug
|Pillbug Toenibbler
Ok boys and girls, time for a new rant. First things first, here is the offending post. Now you may be asking: Why the (expletive deleted) do I care about a post from six months ago? Why? Because (expletive deleted) it (expletive deleted) me off. On top of that it has me asking more (expletive deleted) rhetorical questions again, but that is a rant for some other time. This rant is about some (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) who thinks he can tell me what to do. Who does he think he is? (Expletive deleted), why do I keep doing that? It's like I have a (expletive deleted) disease or something. Anyways, that (expletive deleted) guy can go (expletive deleted) himself while choking on a (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) and then getting (expletive deleted) in the (expletive deleted) so hard it will make his (expletive deleted) eyeballs pop right out of his (expletive deleted) head. Let's take a look at this post again. First of all he insults me by stating that I'm a part of "some people". How racist is that? Don't answer that. Then he talks about how there is like a book's worth of words but these rants are hardly the length of any book, so he's totally wrong there. And then there is the part where he is all like "I'm not going to read them". Well good for (expletive deleted) you! These rants are not for people such as yourself anyways. Anyways I hope this guy does us all a favor and quits trying to be one of the (expletive deleted) kids who are all like "I put everything down cause putting things down is cool". (Expletive deleted) that. Alright, enough ranting for one night.
Tune in next time when I rant about [redacted]? [Redacted]? What the (expletive deleted) is that? Man, I hope I don't have to go back through the Don't Reply to This Thread thread (NO (expletive deleted) jokes) again. Wait…it's coming back to me… The next rant is about Doodlebug and his alter ego Lanfer the Unfound. Yeah, that was totally it.
Updated list of topics I'm going to rant about:
Doodlebug and his alter ego
Followers of Lanfer the Unfound
That darn draft that keeps coming in through this thread (???)
Those annoying automated telephone menu things (you know, press 1 for blah, press 2 for blech, etc...)
Customers who bug me while I'm trying to do something important, like browse the Paizo message boards
People who talk in netspeak (LOL, OMG, ROTFLMAO, etc...)
Those jackanape "debt collectors" that mistake you for some one else - as if you have any more money that the guy who shirked on the "debt" the jackanapes are now determined that YOU owe them for.
Spam that the e-mail filters fail to catch. Or spam that cleverly dodges the nets during its annual spawning runs up long Alaskan rivers. Or both.
Why Gruumash is so Awesome?
That should keep this going for a while.
After some debate, I have decided to change my avatar...again. I think this guy looks pretty cool with his sunglasses which I'm assuming he wears at night and he doesn't look evil so there will be no mistaking that I'm not the bad guy in the fight against Doodlebug and his evil twin/alter ego/whatever we decided he is this month.
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved
|Acolyte of Leafar the Loved


text:
Chevron Tie-Waist Tube Top
Style: 570079161
Out of Stock
Just a glimmer of gold metallic runs through chevron stripes on a silky pointelle knit top. With or without straps, a flounced neckline creates flirtatious movement at the top, and a drawstring waist allows you to blouse a little or a lot. 95% Rayon, 5% Other. Machine wash. Imported.
- Dropped waist with drawstring blouses the fit.
- Removable adjustable knit straps.
- Silicone edge at the top prevents shifting.
- Unlined.
- Hits at mid to lower hip (27" from shoulder).
Read more… Read less…

subset: commoncrawl


text:
view full screen
Gold/Silver Bauble Hoop Earring
Style: 570097406
Out of Stock
Goldtone hoop has a faceted crystal cube dropped below a mix of silver and gold sparkle.
- Lever back. 1.25" drop.
- Clear and silvery glass crystals. Acrylic gold bead. Goldtone metal.
- Custom designed exclusively for WHBM. Handcrafted with nickel-free and lead-free metal.
Read more… Read less…


text:
Please answer the following to help us personalize your content.
Please indicate the description that pertains to you:
I am or have been a Precept Bible Study Leader
I am or have been a Precept student studying with others
I am or have been a Precept student studying by myself
I represent an Organization or Church
None of the above
* In order to register with this account type, we will need a little more information. Please complete the following fields:
Address: Address required:
City: City required:
State/Province: State/Province required:
Postal/Zip Code: Postal/Zip Code required:
Country: Country required:
Organization Name: Organization Name required:


text:
By: myfoxatlanta.com - Feb. 11, 2013
Monday officially kicks off the Girl Scouts cookie season in Atlanta! Even though you may have seen Girl Scouts taking orders for the past few weeks, today you will see them selling at booths outside malls and grocery stores.
High school junior Meghan Devine, 17, is the queen of booth sales. She has been involved with scouting since kindergarten, and has sold over 13,000 boxes of cookies over the course of her scouting career. Her father, Patrick, says she definitely has a future in sales.
"My mom was my troop leader. She did an amazing job, taught me how to love Girl Scouts. Taught me about everything I can get out of Girl Scouts," said Meghan.
She's certainly made the most of it. Meghan has some of the highest cookie sales in the state of Georgia and ranks high nationally.
"Over 12 years of selling cookies. Right now it's around 13,000 boxes," said Meghan.
That's nearly $46,000 worth of cookies sold. Her smile may be the secret to her success. Meghan says she doesn't go door-to-door anymore. She sticks only to booth sales, and she never passes up an opportunity to up-sale.
People don't seem to mind digging into their pockets when it comes to buy the iconic sugary treats, especially when it's for a good cause. On Friday, several Atlanta troops set up booths early to raise money for victims of the tornado that devastated parts of Gordon and Bartow counties.
"I think it's great the Girl Scouts, like the Boy Scouts, are involved in the local communities here and makes you feel good about putting a cookie in your mouth," said cookie buyer Steven Renner.
Meghan only has one more year after this one to sell, then she's off to college. Her dad says she won't have any problems getting a job, especially if it's in sales.
"She's been out standing out in front of a Starbucks at six in the morning selling cookies when its freezing, and we actually had a real-estate lady pull up. She up-saled the real-estate lady in the drive through and the lady handed her a card, and said 'when you graduate from college call me. I have a job for you,'" said Patrick.
Meghan hopes to attend Notre Dame, and she will likely major in engineering. She says a portion of the sales from all those cookies go their Girl Scout troop. From that money, the girls are able to take educational trips all over the world. She's already been to Switzerland, and will go to Costa Rica this summer.
The organization recognizes girls who sell 1,000 boxes in a year as top sellers. Meghan has consistently sold anywhere between 2,000 and 3,000 boxes per year.


text:
Clean Water Means Life to These Indian Moms
Celebrating World Water Day 2016
USAID Water and Development Strategy
Safeguarding the World's Water: Report for USAID Fiscal Year 2014 Water Sector Activities
Check out the latest issue of USAID's Global Waters magazine.
From the Field: Ethiopia
Water is essential to health and food production. Currently, nearly 800 million people lack dependable access to clean water and about 2.5 billion lack access to modern sanitation, putting them at risk of disease. Food production is the largest consumer of water, and also represents the largest unknown factor of future water use as the world population continues to increase. Global population growth projections of two to three billion people over the next 40 years, combined with changing diets, are expected to increase food demand 70 percent by 2050.
Our Water and Development Strategy steers USAID's water programs toward key themes consistent with two of the most important ways we rely on water: water for health and water for food. It is our hope that improvements in WASH programs, and sound management and use of water for food security will save lives and advance development.
That's why we are committed to integrating a focus on water across our agriculture, health and climate work by:
- Expanding access to water supply and sanitation to promote better hygiene and fight preventable disease, especially to vulnerable communities;
- Increasing water productivity in agriculture and industry to boost output while conserving a precious resource;
- Improving water resource management and reforming governance and regulations to equitably share access and defuse competition; and
- Strengthening resilience and response to disasters in order to help countries adapt to a changing climate.
We have a long history of delivering results:
We've brought safe water and sanitation to more than 50 million people, while assisting governments and private firms to plan, manage and distribute water more equitably and affordably.
USAID's partnership with the Government of Kenya and 45 Kenyan public and private sector organizations helped 112,676 smallholder farmers adopt good agricultural practices that increase their yields and incomes and improve nutrition in FY 2013. So far, 2,200 growers in eastern Kenya have been trained in water-harvesting techniques and have established 60 water ponds that serve 4,750 farmers in the region
In Indonesia, USAID works with government agencies, water utilities, water associations, and non-governmental organizations in 54 municipalities across the country to help increase the demand for services, while also building the capacity of public and private institutions to meet this demand. As of FY 2013, we have reached 1,163,855 people with water services and 77,655 people with sanitation services.
In FY 2013, 280,385 Zambians (134,841 male and 145,544 female) gained access to clean drinking water, and 168,823 students and teachers (86,053 male and 82,770 female) gained access to improved sanitation facilities, such as latrines, toilets, and washrooms. Sanitation facilities ensured convenient access for girls; some were equipped so girls could bathe and maintain menstrual hygiene.
In FY13 alone, USAID's programs resulted in more than 3.5 million people with improved access to drinking water supply and nearly 1.3 million people with improved access to sanitation facilities.
To learn more, read:
Last updated: May 12, 2016


text:
"Catholic Answers Live has been there for me, through God's infinite wisdom, and oftentimes answered questions I had been thinking about myself. Your radio program has been very instrumental in my conversion to the Catholic Faith."
~ Ross, Portland, Oregon
0 results
Subscribe to Catholic Answers Magazine
"I did not think anything like it or anything so holy could be received in this life."
~ Richard Rolle of Hampole, 14th century solitary and writer, in describing passage through the purgative, illuminative and contemplative ways.


text:
Sure, diary entries can be revealing, but most are relatively tame compared to the brutally personal tunes Evan Weiss pens under the name Into It. Over It. The emo-leaning musician has written songs about trading punches with a skinhead (a true-life tale based on a late-night exchange outside a Chicago bar), his attempts at quitting smoking ("New North-Side Air") and, of course, the bitter feelings that linger in the wake of a painful breakup ("What is this new person you've become?" he sneers on "Spatial Exploration"). Don't expect Weiss to hold back when he swings into town for this local stop.
The World Is a Beautiful Place and I Am No Longer Afraid to Die (editor's note: whew!), A Great Big Pile of Leaves and SRVVLST open the show.


text:
Another Take on the World Series
So, here we go. The Yankees and the Phillies. New York and Philadelphia. The poorest borough of NYC versus the most wannabe borough of NYC. Should be quite a series.
Oh, you noticed that? You noticed that I really don't seem all that excited? Hm, perhaps that's because I'm not. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the inevitability of it all. Maybe it's the East Coastness of it all. Maybe it's the jackwits who are eating this up right now. Whatever it is, it just leaves me a little cold.
I think it has a little to do with the Yankees spending more than a billion dollars over the past five years to get to this point. You'd like to think that money can't buy you championships but the Yankees are set to prove that one wrong. It definitely has something to do with the Tigers losing that playoff. And even though Jeff is right in saying that baseball is baseball is baseball, I just can't get myself to be all that excited.
But, on the bright side, at least Dane Cook is dead and won't ruin any more of those World Series ads. Oh, really? He's still alive? Hm, I guess I just assumed he was dead. Sorry about that. My bad.
4 Comments
Allen – One of your funniest post this year…. You know it's okay to be jealous of those teams that made it this far…. I hear that they have some good property prices in the Detroit area should you want a closer domicile to your beloved underspending team….:-)
Outside the Phillies Looking In
Okay so you were way too quick to visit my blog…I thought I would have had the post up by the time you got home drank a couple of brewski's etc..etc… I hope we can defeat the evil empire…
Outside the Phillies Looking in
Do I want to see the Yankees win? No. Do I want to see the Phillies win? Not really. Is it time for Spring Training yet?😉
You're in the same boat as so many other people right now. Gone and done with it as soon as they're teams are out. Ya can't blame ya or anyone else. Your team is you team and that's where your passions lie. It's all good.


text:
"Catholic Answers have given me more than what money can repay. Truth is very powerful stuff and I have found you unique in presenting it with love. You're a model to be followed. Great job, all of you."
~ -Steve, Detroit, Michigan
0 results sorted by popularity
"That by her holy prayers she may reconcile me to her Son, my Lord Jesus Christ."
~ William the Conqueror, King of England, Duke of Normandy; who died asking for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary.


text:
Y-Time: Popular Soccer Program
Mark Martin and Andrea Morgia volunteer to coach in the Watertown YMCA's very busy soccer program.
Click on the picture to hear their story.
For information, call or visit any of the YMCA's locations:
- Downtown, 315-782-3100
Or visit www.watertownymca.org.
Most Popular
Friday, December 9, 2016, Watertown, NY


text:
Freedom Newspapers
Fort Stanton, near Ruidoso, has had a varied and long history, but according to those working to preserve it, the former cavalry post remains in remarkably good condition.
Located in the shadow of the Sierra Blanca mountains, Fort Stanton was established on May 4, 1855. It was named for Capt. Henry W. Stanton, who was killed by an Apache during a skirmish, according to the Fort Stanton Web site, www.fortstanton.com.
A museum documenting the history of Fort Stanton is operated by volunteers, working to preserve and maintain its heritage and the buildings of the fort, said Joe Arcure, museum volunteer. Built from rock instead of adobe, the fort has been in near constant use since Apache warriors roamed the area, said Arcure.
Abandoned to Confederate soldiers in 1861, the fort was burned but the fire was extinguished by rain, leaving it somewhat intact. In 1862 Kit Carson and his troops moved into what was left of the fort to campaign against the Mescalero Apaches. Buffalo soldiers took over the fort after Carson left and resumed the campaign against the Mescalero Apaches, according to the Fort Stanton Web site.
In 1896, the U.S. Army decommissioned Fort Stanton.
The fort saw many other occupants come and go over the next century. Gen. "Black Jack" Pershing served two tours at the fort. Col. Nathan A. Dudley was stationed at the fort and was involved in the Lincoln County War during his stint. Gov. Lew Wallace also spent time at the fort writing his novel "Ben Hur."
"The National Park Service has called the fort the 'Crown Jewel' of all the cavalry forts," Arcure said.
According to the Web site, Fort Stanton had the first hospital dedicated to the treatment of tuberculosis patients from the Marine Services and housed Capt. Wilhelm Daehne and 410 of his fellow German sailors. In 1953, the state of New Mexico took over the fort and continued to operate it as a sanitarium for 14 more years. In 1966, it was converted to Fort Stanton Hospital and Training Center for the Developmentally Disabled, and in 1996, it became a state corrections facility, the Web site reads.
A national maritime cemetery for Merchant Marines and their families is also located just down the road from the museum. The National Veterans Association has plans to expand the cemetery and open it up to all veterans, said Arcure.
"There is so much history that's happened here over the years. I think it is very important that it becomes a national sanctioned museum," Arcure said. "It's our history, and it would be a shame to lose it."
Travel from Clovis on U.S. Highway 70 to Roswell.
From Roswell, take U.S. Highway 380 to N.M. 48, turn left and travel to Fort Stanton.
Approximate driving time is 3 hours, 40 minutes.
10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Thursday-Monday
More Information
Telephone 354-0341or Web site www.fortstanton.com


text:
Over the years, North America Heavy Equipment Training Services (NAHETS) has earned a terrific reputation as being a leader in the heavy equipment training industry, and rightly so. However, most who know about NAHETS may think we only offer classroom training. The fact is our high-quality training is completely mobile. We can create our training… Read more »
Some of the $1 Billion in Annual Heavy Equipment Theft Can Be Prevented Through Training
Seemingly every day, a piece of valuable heavy equipment is stolen from a jobsite or a construction company yard. According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, up to $1 billion might be stolen annually with only a small percentage of the missing equipment recovered. However, we here at the North America Heavy Equipment Training Services… Read more »
Rigorous Construction Training Is Key to Engineer Commandos on the Front Lines
This might be our most explosive blog post to date! Of course, we aim to inform our readers as to the best ways to train operators and identify relevant, unique applications but this subject matter is truly starts with a bang – literally. Military Sappers. One website describes what Sappers do as "clearing the way… Read more »
Historic G.W. Van Keppel Company Entrusts Safety Presentation to NAHETS Executive
Safety on the job site is, arguably, the number one concern for construction and equipment companies. So when a major and historic company like G.W. Van Keppel organizes a safety presentation as part of an open house, it's safe to say that executives will ensure that whoever speaks on the subject of safety is a… Read more »
Demand for Qualified Heavy Equipment Operators More Than Supply
According to the Associated General Contractors of America (ACGA) 74% of construction companies answering a survey reported that they are facing worker shortages. The ACGA represents more than 30,000 companies and results of the survey revealed that the three fields lagging the most behind demand are; laborers, carpenters and equipment operators. Heavy equipment operators are… Read more »


text:
Today's Focus: Mr. and Mrs. S
Household members: 5
Children: 3
Special circumstance: Mr. S is having a hard time finding full time work, since his wife Mrs. S has cancer and needs transportation to doctor visits. They are having a hard time paying bills.
Their holiday hope: They want the best for their children this holiday season.
Clothing needs: Pants and shirts size 10 boys and shoe size 4 youth; pants and shirts size 5 boys and shoe size 1 youth; Girls, pants and shirts size 4T and shoe size 9 children's.
Toys list: Remote control cars, toy cars and trucks, dress up clothes for a little girl and play dishes and dolls, games and books.
Who's helped: Around 500 families who've asked the Salvation Army to help make Christmas special.
Donations: Can be dropped off at the PNT, 101 E. 1st St., or mailed to P.O. Box 88, Portales, NM 88130. They can also be dropped off at the CNJ, 501 Pile St., or mailed to P.O. Box 1689, Clovis, NM 88102. Envelopes should be clearly marked "Empty Stocking Fund." Checks must be payable to "The Salvation Army."
Contributions will be forwarded to the Salvation Army office, 317 E. Second St., or gifts may be purchased for specific children by choosing an Angel tag off trees located at North Plains Mall and Wal-Mart in Clovis.
If you would like to help "Mr. and Mrs. S," call Jim Gallop at the Salvation Army at 762-3801.


text:
She was born Lavena Mae Smith in 1921 in Angleton, TX. She attended various schools throughout South and East Texas during her childhood and graduated from Angleton High School, Angleton, Texas, in May 1939. She attended Southwestern Business School in Houston prior to marriage to Ernest Otto Schmidt of Taft, Texas.
She lived the bulk of her adult life in San Patricio and Bee Counties, Texas, where she and Ernie raised their family. Lavena was the chief domestic engineer, bookkeeper, chauffeur and cheerleader for a household of active kids, a busy husband, and a bustling farming and cattle feeding operation. She also worked in the Tax Collector's office in Beeville for several years. She was much loved and respected by all who knew her and she will be sorely missed.
She was preceded in death by Ernest Otto Schmidt, her much loved husband of many years; her parents, Roland Galger Smith and Lonie (Sims) Smith of Angleton, Texas; and her sister, Genevieve Smith Freudenthal of Algiers, La.
She is survived by her son, Ernest Paul Schmidt (Cheryl); daughters, Barbara Schmidt Teer (Ken), and Judy Schmidt Troell (Mike); grandchildren, Bradley Schmidt (Caye), Justin Schmidt (Crystal), Kelly Schmidt Pool (Jim), David Teer, Brett Troell (Tami), Becky Troell Beatty (Galen), Sarah Troell Meyer (Chad), Mary Troell Simmons (Garry); 17 great-grandchildren; and numerous nieces, nephews and the greats in Texas and California.
Visitation was held from 6 to 8 pm, Monday, April 29, 2013, at Galloway & Sons Funeral Home, 409 N. Tyler, Beeville, Texas. Funeral services were conducted at 2:30 pm, Tuesday, April 30, 2013, at Galloway & Sons Funeral Home Chapel.
Pallbearers were Bradley Schmidt, Justin Schmidt, Jim Pool, David Teer, Brett Troell, Galen Beatty, Chad Meyer, Garry Simmons, Wesley Schmidt and Juan Molina.
Galloway & Sons Funeral Home


text:
Browser yang tidak didukung terdeteksi
Website Lenovo Support mendukung Microsoft© Internet Explorer 10+, Mozilla Firefox 29+, Chrome 34+ , dan browser modern lainnya.
This article is an introduction to how to find the Serial Number (S/N) on Lenovo machines.
The above symptom may occur on the following systems: All Idea/Lenovo laptops and All Idea/Lenovo Desktops
Location of serial number : IdeaPad and Lenovo 3000 Notebook S/N number: The serial number is printed on the label at the back of the machine. For selected models, the serial number is a combination of 10 letters and numbers, i.e. EB12345678
Rules : Please check the number after S/N. The serial number length of current products is 10, of which the first two are letters and the rest are Arabic numbers, for example: EB01570001. Just input the string. If the code shaped like "S/N": XXXXXXX", which has only seven characters, "NB0" or "EB0" is needed to added manually during input. For instance, S/N:1234567 and you should input NB01234567. Another few host serial number shaped like "S/N XXXXXX" only have six characters and "NB00" is needed to add manually during input. The standard to distinguish adding "NB0" or "EB0" is: input "NB0" if the serial number is smaller than1570000 and input "EB0" otherwise. Product Number: For selected models, the product number is a combination of 7-digit Type and 7-digit serial number. Please enter 14 digits (Type plus serial number), i.e. 2668KHU7812AB3.
Fig.2 2. IdeaCentre All-in-One Desktops
Location of serial number : For Idea Centre all-in-one machine, the serial, composed of two English letters and eight Arabic numbers, is located on the back of the machine.
Rules: Serial number can be found on the nameplate at the back of the machine. Moreover, host serial can also be found on the bar code label at the back of the host.The first ten numbers of the bar code is host serial, of which the former two are English letters and the latter eight are Arabic numbers.


text:
Kelly Slim Ankle Jean
Style: 570097822
Out of Stock
Spring's freshest color cleanly detailed with a single crystal rivet on the coin pocket.
- Our universal fit. Eased through the hip and thigh, sits just below the waist. Formerly our Blanc fit.
- Slim ankle-length leg.
- Logo shank closure; zip fly. Belt loops. Metal logo on back pocket. Silvertone hardware.
- 92% Cotton, 8% Spandex. Machine wash. Imported.
- Inseams: regular 30", short 27.5", long 32".
Read more… Read less…


text:
Bill would shield social media during hiring
MONTPELIER That mortifying Facebook photograph your old college buddy tagged you in last week? It may not be such a deal-breaker after all.
Vermont lawmakers want to shield the social media accounts of job applicants from the prying eyes of their would-be employers.
For the second year in a row, Sen. Dick Sears is pushing legislation that would make it illegal for employers to request from job seekers their passwords to Facebook, Twitter and other social media accounts. He attached similar language to ill-fated jobs legislation last year; Sears said Tuesday that hell seek passage of the provision as stand-alone legislation in 2013.
Sears said hes unaware of any instances of Vermont employers demanding access to applicants online profiles as a condition of employment. He said reports of the trend nationally, however, merit some proactive steps in the Green Mountains.
Its sort of like saying, when you come in for your interview, bring your diary with you, and were going to read your diary, said Sears, a Bennington County Democrat and chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee.
Vermont isnt the first jurisdiction to tackle the issue of human resources personnel hunting for skeletons in online closets. Federal lawmakers last year considered a ban on the practice; in September, California enacted legislation prohibiting employers from requesting passwords to social media accounts.
Its a practice that has (increased) over the past five years, and I actually know younger people coming into the job market who are naïve ... and who are asked as a matter of course to provide Facebook and Twitter password information, the rationale being that (the) company didnt want to be embarrassed, and you have nothing to hide, Sen. Philip Baruth said.
Allen Gilbert, executive director of the Vermont chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, said Sears diary analogy effectively conveys the scope of the intrusion when companies gain access to applicants social media accounts.
People are assumed to have reasonable expectations of privacy in their jobs, and I think theres a reasonable expectation that what you write ... in what is essentially an online journal a Facebook page is private, Gilbert said. And an employer should not be able to make it a condition of employment to make you ... provide them with access to personal information that you might not want them to have.
Human Resources Commissioner Kate Duffy said the administration supports the bill, on the condition that it waive the prohibition on online scrutiny for applicants to the Vermont State Police. Background checks for these individuals is fairly significant, Duffy said. I think we hold troopers to a higher level and do kinds of checks on troopers we dont do with the average state employee.
Duffy said the state also wants to ensure that the law wouldnt prevent her department from accessing employees social media accounts even with a subpoena.
peter.hirschfeld @timesargus.com
peter.hirschfeld @rutlandherald.comMORE IN Vermont NewsMONTPELIER Rep. Peter Welch, D-Vt. Full StoryVermont Attorney General Bill Sorrell plans to join the U.S. Full StoryAs Rutland prepares to welcome Syrian refugees to its community, some are continuing to voice... Full Story
- Most Popular
- Most Emailed


text:
Trey Foshee manages the demands of a high-volume restaurant complex.
Trey Foshee navigates a lot of waves as executive chef and partner at George's at the Cove. This La Jolla, CA, seaside institution houses three restaurants: California Modern, Ocean Terrace and George's Bar. Ever on the lookout for ways to keep George's at the top of its game, Foshee most recently rolled out three new "dining experience" menus spotlighting local ingredients at the sophisticated California Modern. Foshee spoke recently about the demands of a ...
Register to view this article
Why Register for FREE?
Registering for Premium Content on Restaurant Hospitality will give you INSTANT access to invaluable articles and media content that industry professionals rely on. You will have access to our special reports, feature articles, and industry analysis. It's FREE, easy and quick.


text:
Oil painting has caused me to see the world differently. I find myself studying clouds and landscapes. I like to see the tumbled down houses and barns as we travel along the highway. I wonder what stories they could tell of days gone by. How did they live their lives? Did they leave their home with regrets or did they just walk off and leave it? Did they make every day count? Were words left unsaid? Were opportunities missed? I wonder how they were remembered.
Every day you and I are leaving memories and those we leave behind will remember what we left behind. I remember my grandfather with such admiration. His kindness to everyone he met left a life-long impression upon me. I never saw him angry, upset or unhappy. He found humor in simple daily life. His daily prayers reflected his strong faith and he faced death triumphantly. Occasionally I meet someone who remembers him and they share a happy memory that reminds me of Proverbs 10:7, "Good people will be remembered as a blessing, but evil people will soon be forgotten. (NCV)
Granddaddy's love for my grandmother is filed in my memory. Our children and grandchildren will long remember my husband's love for me.
We are given just so many years with the gift of life. How we spend them are so important. Have we just taken up space or have we made our lives count for something?
We may not be rich by the world's standards, but we can give what we have. Everyone can have a smile, a caring attitude and a compassion for a needy soul.
Make and leave good memories by giving yourself away. Would you have the abundant life? Lose yourself. "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39 NIV)
Every day is a miracle in some way.
Look forward to the new day with thanksgiving.
Birds praise their maker each morning. We can too.
Be amazed with sunrise and sunsets.
Gaze into a baby's face to see God's wondrous works.
Send your treasures on to heaven to be a "million heir."
Here are some scriptures to help you have no regrets:
Are you heavy-hearted? "He is the God of all comfort." (Isaiah 66:13)
Are you fearful? "He is bigger than any problem." (Isaiah 35:4)
Are you lonely? "He is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)
Are you weary? "God has a rest for his children." (Psalm 37:7)
Are you sick? "He is the God who healeth thee." (1 Peter 2:24)
Are you anxious? "He is the God of all peace." (Ephesians 2:14)
Are you downtrodden? "He will make your feet like hinds' feet." (Psalm 18:33)
Are you sad? "He gives you a merry heart like a medicine." (Proverbs 17:22)
Are you worried? "He is your shield and buckler, a mighty fortress." (Psalm 91)
Are you carrying guilt? "Repenting removes your sins as far as the east is from the west." (Psalm 103:12)
Are you in need? "He is Jehovah, Jireh, and your provider." (Philippians 4:19)
God will never leave you nor forsake you. He is with you even through the shadow of death with his rod and his staff to comfort you. He is Jesus in you, the hope of glory.
I have been blessed. My memories include little school children's smiling faces, my husband's goodnight kiss, the "I love you, Mom" phone calls, and the many words of encouragement I have received from so many.
Leave loving memories and you will have no regrets.


text:
Over the Rainbow
Tag: discrimination
Sen. Bill Nelson co-sponsors Employment Non-Discrimination Act
- 10:10 pm Tuesday, October 29th, 2013 by Aleese Kopf
On Monday, Sen. Bill Nelson became the latest senator to co-sponsor the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The bill is just a few votes away from clearing the 60-vote threshold in the Senate.
If passed, the legislation would prohibit employers from engaging in workplace discrimination on the basis of an individual's actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity.
In many states, including Florida, there are no laws to prevent an employer from firing or refusing to hire someone because they are gay, lesbian or gender non-conforming, according to the Palm Beach Human Rights Council.
"It's shocking, but it's true," said Rand Hoch, [More]


text:
"Your radio show changed my life. As a result of listening, I converted to Catholicism at 53 years old. I was a very active Protestant my whole life before becoming a Catholic. Keep up the terrific work!"
"God pardon you and make a Paul of your Saul. I heartily forgive you."


text:
If there's one thing humanity likes, it's control. Nobody wants to be the unwitting steel ball in the giant pinball machine of life, helplessly bounced around by the immortal tentacled space monster operating the paddles. That's why we as human beings take pride in this neat concept called free will we've stumbled into and fully intend to abuse at every opportunity.
Sadly, you may not have quite as much control over your life as you think. We're not saying any of the following 100 percent come down to genetics (nothing does, really), but it's also impossible to ignore the genetic links to ...
5Your Political Preferences
Comstock/Stockbyte/Getty Images
In your ongoing efforts to be a good citizen, you try to keep your finger on the pulse of politics (assuming the country you live in lets you do that kind of thing). So you keep up with the issues, carefully consider each party's position, and most importantly, always take care to make a rational decision when Election Day rolls around. And then you wind up voting according to your biology.
Pablo Blazquez Dominguez/Getty Images
Along with other assorted activities.
Yeah, science says there's a decent chance your political beliefs are less the elaborate chess game you imagine them to be and more like a professional wrestling match: awkward, telegraphed, and completely predetermined. In this study on biological differences between liberals and conservatives, scientists found that there are actual physical differences in how Democrat and Republican brains function.
Pixland/Pixland/Getty Images
Or, more commonly, how they fail to.
The skull-sponges of Democrats focus on broad social connectedness, meaning that they value friends and the world at large. Meanwhile, Republican gray matter exhibits narrow social connectedness, which means they value family and country above all. You may recognize these traits as the exact goddamn cookie-cutter stereotypes every halfwit pundit always tries to force supporters of both parties into.
Wait, it gets better: In another study, researchers noticed that the brains of liberals have a larger anterior cingulate cortex, which is used to process conflicting information and cope with uncertainty. Conservatives, on the other hand, have a larger amygdala, used to identify and respond to threatening situations. Hawks and doves, anyone?
Comstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images
"Actually, I'm registered Reform Party."
Apparently, this brain-assigned division of population extends to pretty much all aspects of life: Surveys have revealed that the living spaces and workplaces of conservative-minded people reflect structure and order, while those of liberals are more cluttered. Conservatives also appear to be better at blocking out distracting information and focusing on individual issues, but also tend to see the world in black-and-white terms. Meanwhile, liberals are more open to new experiences and better at accepting uncertainty, but also tend to be more scatterbrained.
"But Cracked," you exclaim, clearly unfamiliar with our stance on the brain's true nature. "Surely our brain can't pull a dick move like that. There must be some leeway to the whole business -- there's no way the setup of our brain can always predict everyone's political opinions correctly."
Creatas/Creatas/Getty Images
"Never question my ability to pull dick moves."
And you are right. It only works about 83 percent of the time.
4Your Belief in a Higher Power
There are many reasons to be religious, and despite what the army of Internet atheists (and the entire concept of Scientology) would have you believe, many of them are pretty difficult to criticize, as personal choices go. Maybe you were raised to be religious. Maybe you had a near-death experience at some point in your life, leading you to re-examine your spirituality. Maybe you wrestled with existentialism your entire life and finally decided to embrace your belief in a higher being.
Or maybe you were simply born with the potential to believe in God.
In an unsurprisingly controversial 2004 study, a molecular geneticist called Dean Hamer analyzed over 2,000 DNA samples to conclude that a person's tendency for spirituality is linked to one gene that regulates the flow of mood-altering chemicals in the brain. To the surprise of absolutely no one, the media immediately dubbed the discovery the God gene.
Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images, Comstock/Stockbyte/Getty Images
"We were worried the graphics guy might cock up the spelling of 'ecclesiastical.'"
According to the God gene study, people with the gene are more likely to believe in a higher being of some sort, and their belief can develop independent of their upbringing (an atheist family's child can totally find religion, and vice versa). This find was further clarified by a separate study, where identical twins were asked to describe their religious history. As kids, the subjects were likely to share the same religious beliefs as the rest of their family, but once they got older, the twins (who have the same genetic makeup, remember) tended to share religious beliefs with only each other. This suggests that religiousness isn't ultimately determined by your upbringing or experiences, but by the DNA you're born with.
Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty Images
Or however you came by your DNA.
The God gene study obviously has its detractors, but that doesn't mean there isn't something going on with this whole religion/brain setup thing. A more recent study from 2013 found that people who had a thicker cortex (the brain's outer layer) were more likely to be spiritual. And while this study couldn't conclusively prove that the thicker cortex was the cause of spirituality, they did find another interesting correlation: The people who were more likely to be spiritual also ran a lower risk for depression.
And no, this says absolutely nothing about whether God exists. If you want to use this as an excuse to have that argument, that's on you.
Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Getty Images
The "if" in that sentence was purely a courtesy.


text:
PARCC Field Test Alert - ELA PBA Prose Constructed Response Items
Dear Spring 2014 PARCC Field Test Participants:
The purpose of this communication is to address questions regarding the time students are taking to complete the ELA Performance-Based Assessment (PBA) sessions and the extent to which students are expected to respond to Prose Constructed Response (PCR) items.
PARCC has received numerous reports of students completing the ELA sessions in much less time than originally estimated. The first two test sessions (Literary Analysis and Research Simulation) include tasks that require reading/viewing multiple passages/multi-media. The third session includes a Narrative task that requires reading a single passage. Each task culminates in a PCR item, which requires an extended response. For the Literary Analysis and Research Simulation tasks students are expected to cite evidence from the passages in their responses, while the Narrative task, in most cases, requires students to use the passage as a springboard for an original, student-crafted story.
The PCR items are intended to elicit extended written responses. Students are expected to draw on evidence from the passages they have read to support the points they make in their written responses. PARCC's timing policies have been developed to provide students with time to both read multiple passages and write well-developed responses to PCR items.
In order to provide students with additional guidance and to ensure PARCC is gathering the most meaningful data from as many students as possible, new language has been developed to replace portions of the scripts for the PCR items (i.e., constructed response questions). This language can be found in the attached document. District Test Coordinators should communicate information to school officials to ensure that this information is shared with Test Administrators as soon as possible. Optimally, the new language will be used by Test Administrators administering ELA PBA sessions beginning on Thursday, March 27 and thereafter.
For more information regarding PARCC and the 2014 Field Test, please visit the PARCC website at http://www.parcconline.org/field-test. If you have questions regarding the administration of the PARCC Field Test, please contact Pearson's PARCC Support Center: 1-888-493-9888 (open Monday through Friday, 6:00am to 8:00pm CST) or firstname.lastname@example.com. We appreciate your support in the PARCC field test! Sincerely, Pearson PARCC Program Team


text:
Submit News
Steve Ballmer: Vista Was "Not Executed Well"; "There's Nothing Free About Android"
Jason Mick
May 22, 2010 12:00 AM
Recipient E-mail
Sender E-mail
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer was pretty mad about the performance of Windows Vista, which is his own words was "not executed well".
(Source: Tech Digest)
Listen up, adds Ballmer -- "There's nothing free about Android."
(Source: Yahoo Video)
Microsoft CEO's keynote was full of juicy comments
This week such noted guests as Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah of Jordan and Jeff Bezos — chairman, president and CEO, Amazon.com — landed in Redmond, Washington for the annual Microsoft CEO Summit. Unsurprisingly, the keynote speech was given by none other than the CEO of the world's largest tech company and
of tech pioneer Bill Gates,
Microsoft's Steve Ballmer
Ballmer is one of the most energetic and influential figures in the tech industry. He is also known as one of the most polarizing, for his wild antics and
unscripted sound bytes
. Thus you could virtually guarantee his keynote would be pretty interesting.
At the speech Ballmer let his fellow CEOs exactly how he viewed Windows Vista -- an overambitious product botched by a poor launch and poor timing. He
, "Just not executed well. Not the product itself, but we went a gap of about five, six years without a product. I think back now and I think about thousands of man-hours, and it wasn't because we were wrong-minded in thinking bad thoughts and not pushing innovation. We tried too big a task, and in the process wound up losing essentially thousands of man-hours of innovation capabilities."
The admission was surprisingly forthright, when contrast with Ballmer's early statements on Vista's performance. Initially, despite poor sales Ballmer
blamed factors such as piracy
, refusing to blame Vista. As time has passed he has slowly
grown more critical
of Vista. Of course the operating system is no longer Microsoft's flagship product, so that could have something to do with his changing attitude as well.
Many analysts have been highly critical of Windows Vista's performance. The OS came at a $6B USD research and development cost to Microsoft, yet failed to come anywhere close to surpassing its predecessor, Windows XP, in market share.
The upside to that flop, though, was a rich operating system base that allowed Microsoft to push out Windows 7 -- essentially a performance tuned Vista with some extra gloss. Windows 7, by contrast, has been a wild hit,
passing Windows Vista in seven months
and cruising towards passing Windows XP. While that success can't entirely numb the sting of Vista among Microsoft's brass, it does provide a degree of vindication of their overall strategy.
Despite his candor about Vista, Ballmer had no qualms about saying that the super-hot selling
Android smart phone operating system
from Google was inferior to Microsoft's own smart phone operating systems.
In an
Ballmer commented, "I think what you mostly what you see in the market is that there's a lot of dynamism. You know, people are up, they're down, they're sideways, they're this. The whole market is growing. But, in terms of share and popularity there's still a lot of opportunities for innovation."
"And I think Apple did some good stuff, but they're not number one in the market. You know, number one is still Nokia, number two is still RIM. And they did some good stuff. And you know Android is done more of a... Google has done more of a software only approach. Which has advantages. That's our approach. They hit the market with a good window relative to touch."
When asked about Android giving away Android for free versus Microsoft, which charges smart phone carriers, Ballmer took issue with that assessment, stating, "And there's nothing free about Android. I mean at the end of the day as we certainly have asserted in a number of cases you know there's an intellectual property royalty due on that.
Whether they happen to charge for their software or not is their business decision."
Ultimately Ballmer is right -- Android isn't free. It's certainly an expensive project for Google. However, it's hard to deny that Ballmer essentially dodged the question. At the end of the day Android
is free
to handset makers and consumers. That answer would be a tough one for Ballmer to give, though, when the upcoming Windows Phone 7 comes with a fee, which is ultimately passed down to the consumer. And then there's the additional fact that Android currently has some abilities that Windows Mobile does not, like
copy and paste and multi-tasking
. Ballmer's response, while technically correct, thus left plenty unsaid.
"This is about the Internet. Everything on the Internet is encrypted. This is not a BlackBerry-only issue. If they can't deal with the Internet, they should shut it off." -- RIM co-CEO Michael Lazaridis
Related Articles
Google Unveils Killer Android 2.2 OS Update, 100K Android Phones Sold a Day
May 20, 2010, 3:05 PM
Windows 7 Passes Vista in 7 Months, Becomes World's Second Most-Used OS
May 3, 2010, 2:59 PM
Windows Phone 7 Series Gets Fully Exposed at MIX10, True Multitasking Appears to be Missing
March 15, 2010, 3:18 PM
Ballmer Blasts Apple, Says Customers Paying $500 for a Logo
March 20, 2009, 1:20 PM
The World According to Ballmer
October 2, 2008, 2:39 PM
Latest Headlines
WhatsUp with WhatsApp?
August 29, 2016, 5:23 AM
Fuchsia – Google's New Open Source Operating System
August 17, 2016, 6:30 AM
Windows 10: End of an Era & A New Beginning
August 1, 2016, 9:59 AM
Free Windows 10 offer ends July 29th, 2016: 10 Reasons to Upgrade Immediately
July 22, 2016, 9:19 PM
Quick Note: Whoops, Microsoft Pushed Unwanted Windows 10 to Some Users
October 15, 2015, 9:04 PM
Quick Note: Windows 10 Insider Preview Build 10565 Fixes Boot Camp 6.0 Issues
October 13, 2015, 11:39 AM
More Headlines
Most Popular Articles
What Can You Do with Your New Echo Dot?
December 3, 2016, 5:00 AM
Google has developed Deep Learning Algorithm to detect Diabetic Eye Disease
December 4, 2016, 5:00 AM
Sound Blaster Z SBX PCIE Gaming Sound Card - Superb High Performance Sound Card
December 6, 2016, 1:00 AM
GizmoTab – Verizon's new $80 Tablet for Kids
December 4, 2016, 5:30 AM
Foscam R2 Home Security Camera System – High Quality High FHD Security Video Footage with No Monthly Fees
December 1, 2016, 2:00 AM
Latest Blog Posts
Some News
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 10, 2016, 5:00 AM
Today's Talk
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 9, 2016, 5:00 AM
Latest Tech News
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 8, 2016, 5:11 AM
In The News
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 7, 2016, 5:00 AM
e Guide: Mobile Security for 2017
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 6, 2016, 5:00 AM
Apple Car is Not Dead
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 5, 2016, 1:00 AM
More News
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 4, 2016, 5:00 AM
More News
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 3, 2016, 5:00 AM
Top News
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 2, 2016, 5:00 AM
Surface Ergonomic Keyboard
Saimin Nidarson
Dec 1, 2016, 3:01 AM
Chapeconense plane crash: Football rallies around Brazilian Team
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 30, 2016, 1:00 AM
How to Extends Your iPhone's Battery Life
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 29, 2016, 12:49 AM
Top Stories
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 28, 2016, 1:12 AM
News: Fidel Castro
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 27, 2016, 5:00 AM
Top News
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 26, 2016, 5:00 AM
Changes in Social status affect the way genes turn on and off within immune cells.
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 25, 2016, 5:12 AM
Austrian far–right hopeful Hofer may back EU vote.
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 24, 2016, 4:00 AM
Final Fantasy XV Leaked Before Nov 29 Launch Date
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 23, 2016, 1:00 AM
Top Stories
Saimin Nidarson
Nov 22, 2016, 2:26 AM
More Blog Posts
Copyright 2016 DailyTech LLC. -
RSS Feed
About Us
Terms, Conditions & Privacy Information
Kristopher Kubicki


text:
One of my favorite utilities in the ports collection is the network analyzer, Ethereal. I've used NT's Network Monitor and Novell's Lanalyzer, but I've found that neither matches the functionality of Ethereal.
If you've never used a network analyzer before, you may wonder why you'd want to use such a utility. If a network administrator is experiencing slow network performance, a network analyzer can help him pinpoint which NICs, cable segments, and protocols are generating the most traffic. The results can be used to determine if he needs to upgrade his cabling, change a faulty NIC, install a bridge, reorder his network bindings, consider using less chatty protocols, etc.
A security engineer can use the results to determine if his firewall system is responding to requests according to his security policy.
And finally, the results of a network analyzer provide the best learning environment to gain a practical understanding of the OSI model and how protocols actually interact with each other.
One word of caution before firing up any network analyzer: These utilities are designed to capture and show the contents of every frame that passes through a cable segment. Don't monitor a cable segment that is not part of your LAN unless you have explicit permission to do so.
Before you can use Ethereal, you'll need to configure your X Server and Window Manager. Once you have these, the easiest way to build Ethereal is from the ports collection. As root, and while connected to the Internet:
cd /usr/ports/net/ethereal
make && make install
Once this is finished:
whereis ethereal
Running a network analyzer is an administrative task. If you want to add
Ethereal to a menu in your favorite Window Manager, you'll have to start
your X Windows session as root. Alternately, you can start your X Window
session as a regular user, open up an xterm,
su to root, and start
Ethereal from the xterm. If you start Ethereal as a regular user, the
utility will launch but it won't display any interfaces to monitor.
Ethereal has the ability to use display and capture filters; creating these is beyond the scope of this article, but you can get more information on using filters by doing a:
man ethereal
and by checking out the main website for Ethereal. The FAQ will get you started and the useful links page is outstanding, especially if you wish to do more research on protocols and network analysis. Don't forget to order your free protocol posters when you visit the protocols.com site.
Let's do some example captures. We'll start with a simple ping. I have a computer named alpha with an IP address of 10.0.0.1 and another computer named gamma at 10.0.0.3. I've fired up Ethereal on gamma, clicked on the capture menu, and pressed start. Because I'm root, I'm presented with the list of interfaces on gamma; I choose the one attached to my LAN cable segment and click OK. To make things a little more interesting, I'll forget to power on the computer named alpha.
Don't be afraid to try this exercise yourself; just ping a host that is either down or non-existent. I open up an xterm and type:
ping 10.0.0.1
and wait; not surprisingly, nothing happens. I press Ctrl-C to end the
ping and my xterm now reads:
PING 10.0.0.1 (10.0.0.1): 56 data bytes ping: sendto: Host is down ^C --- 10.0.0.1 ping statistics --- 7 packets transmitted, 0 packets received, 100% packet loss
Going back to Ethereal, I stop the capture and look at the results. I do have 7 packets listed, but they are all ARP (address resolution protocol) packets, not the ICMP echo/reply packets you would expect with ping.
For those of you who never had the opportunity to yawn your way through a lecture on the OSI model, I've just demonstrated the first rule of transmission on a TCP/IP network. No unicast packets can enter the wire until the MAC address of the NIC who will receive the packets is known; this is the job of ARP, the address resolution protocol.
As you can see from your capture, ARP isn't that complicated a protocol. It sends out a broadcast (the destination of ff:ff:ff:ff:ff:ff) onto the cable segment that asks who has 10.0.0.1? tell 10.0.0.3. This is the equivalent of your four-year-old yelling into a crowded room, "Where is my Mommy?" It's not the most elegant way of accomplishing a task, but it's usually quite effective.
Because 10.0.0.1 wasn't available to answer, there was no MAC address to
send packets to, and
ping was unable to send out its ICMP packets.
Let's fire up alpha, start another capture, and try pinging 10.0.0.1 again.
ping 10.0.0.1
PING 10.0.0.1 (10.0.0.1): 56 data bytes 64 bytes from 10.0.0.1: icmp_seq=0 ttl=255 time=0.675 ms 64 bytes from 10.0.0.1: icmp_seq=1 ttl=255 time=0.522 ms 64 bytes from 10.0.0.1: icmp_seq=2 ttl=255 time=0.508 ms 64 bytes from 10.0.0.1: icmp_seq=3 ttl=255 time=0.498 ms 64 bytes from 10.0.0.1: icmp_seq=4 ttl=255 time=0.509 ms 64 bytes from 10.0.0.1: icmp_seq=5 ttl=255 time=0.524 ms ^C --- 10.1.0.2 ping statistics --- 6 packets transmitted, 6 packets received, 0% packet loss round-trip min/avg/max/stddev = 0.498/0.539/0.675/0.061 ms
If I end the capture, I'll see that 14 packets were captured. Two of these
will be ARP packets; the first of these asks who has 10.0.0.1? Tell
10.0.0.3. The second is the reply from 10.0.0.1 with its MAC address. The
other 12 packets are ICMP packets; half of these are Echo (
ping) requests,
the other half are Echo (
ping) replies.
If you repeat this capture again and transmit 6 packets, the capture will only show the 12 ICMP packets. What happened to the 2 ARP packets? To find out, from your xterm type:
arp -a
alpha (10.0.0.1) at 0:0:b4:3c:56:40 [ethernet]
ARP utilizes a cache (area of memory) where it keeps a list of which MAC addresses it has recently resolved; this cuts down on the number of broadcasts. Since ARP already knew alpha's MAC address, it didn't have to issue another request for it.
If you type:
arp -d -a
you will remove all the entries in your ARP cache. And an
arp -a
will just return you back to your prompt.
If you now repeat the capture and ping, you'll notice the 2 extra ARP entries will reappear. And
arp -a
will show alpha's MAC address again.
Now let's look at some FTP traffic. At gamma, I've started a capture. At alpha, I've typed:
ftp 10.0.0.3
Connected to 10.0.0.3
220 gamma FTP server (Version 6.00LS) ready.
Name (10.0.0.0:genisis):
530 User anonymous unknown.
ftp: Login failed.
Remote system type is UNIX.
Using binary mode to transfer files.
I haven't set up an anonymous FTP login account at gamma, so the login failed. When I stop the capture, I have a total of 10 packets.
The first three packets used the TCP protocol and represent TCP's three-way handshake as the flags were set at [SYN] (step 1 of handshake), [SYN, ACK] (step 2 of handshake), and [ACK] (step 3 of handshake). No FTP packets were sent until the handshake process finished successfully.
The first FTP packet was sent to alpha, and contained the information that first appeared on alpha's screen:
220 gamma FTP server (Version 6.00LS) ready.
This is actually the first packet we've captured that had a data payload attached to it. Highlight it in Ethereal and look at the second section of your Ethereal screen where it says:
+ Frame4 + Ethernet II + Internet Protocol + Transmission Control Protocol + File Transfer Protocol
This section allows you to view the various encapsulations that each layer of the OSI model added to the original data packet, from the physical layer up to the application layer. If you click on the + next to a layer, you will expand all the gory details that that layer added to the IP header. If you highlight something interesting, note that a portion of the data in the third section of Ethereal will become darker. This section of Ethereal shows the actual 1s and 0s (written in hex) that were sent to the NIC. Keep in mind that your NIC is actually raising and lowering the voltages on the cable segment to transmit all these 1s and 0s. Isn't networking amazing?
The next 2 FTP packets are alpha's login information and gamma's response:
530 User anonymous unknown. ftp: Login failed.
The last 2 FTP packets are alpha's request for system information, and gamma's response:
Remote system type is UNIX. Using binary mode to transfer files.
Note that the FTP utility on alpha modified gamma's actual response slightly when it displayed it on alpha's screen.
The rest of the TCP packets are acknowledgements, as TCP is responsible for ensuring reliable delivery of data.
I've kept the FTP prompt at alpha, so let's start another capture:
ftp 10.0.0.3Connected to 10.0.0.3. 220 gamma FTP server (Version 6.00LS) ready. Name (10.0.0.3:genisis):
genisis331 Password required for genisis. Password: 230 User genisis logged in. Remote system type is UNIX. Using binary mode to transfer files. ftp>
If I end the capture and analyze the packets, the first 2 packets are the TCP packets that ended the failed FTP session. Note that alpha sent a [FIN, ACK] to request the connection be closed, and gamma responded with a [RST] to reset the connection to make it available to other potential TCP sessions.
This was followed by another three-way handshake involving 3 TCP packets. Take a close look at the FTP response/reply pairs. When the user genisis typed in the password at alpha, the FTP client did not display the password at the terminal. However, this information was sent in the clear to gamma and wasn't hidden from the packet analyzer -- one of many reasons why you don't analyze the traffic on other people's networks.
These exercises should provide you with a starting point for using Ethereal. If you are interested in how various operating systems send and receive network traffic, here are some interesting exercises to try on your own:
Start a capture on a cable segment with an NT Server and an NT workstation; power on the NT workstation and end your capture once it has successfully logged into the network.
Start a capture on a cable segment with a Novell server and a Novell client. From the Novell client, attach to the server and map a network drive.
Start a capture on a cable segment with an NFS server. Have an NFS client mount a filesystem being exported by the NFS server and copy data to and from the mountpoint.
Dru Lavigne is a network and systems administrator, IT instructor, author and international speaker. She has over a decade of experience administering and teaching Netware, Microsoft, Cisco, Checkpoint, SCO, Solaris, Linux, and BSD systems. A prolific author, she pens the popular FreeBSD Basics column for O'Reilly and is author of BSD Hacks and The Best of FreeBSD Basics.
Read more FreeBSD Basics columns.
Discuss this article in the Operating Systems Forum.
Return to the BSD DevCenter.
Copyright © 2017 O'Reilly Media, Inc.