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|Artemis Moonstar
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I have two Anecdotes to share. Great thread btw, haven't laughed this hard in a while.
Spoilered for... Not sure what but I'm not certain it's politically correct...
We track it all up and down the inner sea, using our half to find it. Dealing with various pirates, thugs, bandits, and wraiths and other ghosts an enraged Shelyn kept sending after us. Turns out Shelyn acts like any other woman when her heart is broken, and we were guilty by association (DM's words, not mine). Finally we get to one of the smaller port cities of the eastern inner sea, I can't recall each one, and we follow it's signature trail to a warehouse.
Long story short after some investigation, my inquisitor of Pharasma, the bard, and for some reason the cleric of Gozreh, decide to sneak in through the back. The rogue wanted to slide in through the roof. The Barbarian was off having her own sub plot at this point (which lead to her multiclassing into witch), while the sorcerer sat out front trying to figure out what she was going to do... Finally, she walks up to the door, and knocks.
Guard: Who's there? What do you want?
Sorc: I'm looking for something.
Guard: Oh yeah? What?
Sorc: Something I need.
Guard: And what do you need?
Sorc:... I NEED A MAN WITH A TATTOO ON HIS DICK!
At this point, the entire group busts up laughing. After about five minutes of breathing and stifling the giggles, the DM decides to roll with it.
Guard: A man with a tattoo on his dick huh? Hold on.
The guard calls Johnny over.
Guard: Johnny, there's a pissed off looking woman here looking for a man with a tattoo on his dick. Who's daughter did you knock up now?
Johnny: No one, I swear! At least, not that I've been told!
Johnny looks through and has no idea who our sorcerer is. So after a bit of back and forth I can't quite recall, she asks for confirmation he is who he says he is. There is some shuffling of crates behind the door, as Johnny stick his wang out of the peep hole (or whatever you call the sliding window door things).
Sorc: (out of character) I handle it for a few seconds to 'make sure', and afterwords.... MAGIC MISSILE!
Guy takes 3d4 points to the crotch, laughter is had by all (including Johnny's fellows). Thanks to Johnny being blown backwards enough, Guard finally notices that our rogue has been offing the people from behind and dragging them off to the shadows after he fell off his rope and into a barrel of fish. The rogue, at this point, was dragging the corpse to the darkness, stopped what he was doing, and announced he was the janitorial service. This opened combat with my True Shot -> Called Shot crossbow bolt to the FACE with a double crit confirmed (auto-kill in our group). To this day, "Man with a tattoo on his dick" elicits prolonged giggling, and the legend of Johnny permeates every game we have played since, even in different campaigns and different time frames.
Good times, good times. The only other anecdote of hilarity I can recall is from one of my oldest memories of my first gaming group.
I was playing a half-elf rogue in 3.0. Having maxed out and gotten as many bonuses as I possibly could to Pick Pocket, I was deemed the guy who could steal anything, in plain sight, in broad day light. Somehow the bard talked all of our way into a royal ball, so we could deal with the king's corrupt adviser. After the bard makes several failed diplomacy and bluff checks, I decide to liven up the rapidly darkening mood. The adviser found himself with no clothing, in the middle of a packed ball which has ceased entirely to witness the exchange.
This immediately swings things backs into the bard's favor, and my DM decides to give my womanizing, drunken, pocket filching rogue a reward for such quick thinking. The eldest, and sluttiest, princess finds her way over to him, having witnessed what he did while no one else had. Complimenting him on his fast finger work, she comments on the fragile delicate beauty of a woman's virtue, and how my character could probably steal the purity from a convent-bound princess. I decided to roll a pick pocket, and with a nat 20, declared "I already have..." while making my exit as smooth as any super spy movie.
This elicits quite a few laughs on it's own. What added to it was the DM expounded on that with her having to retreat to her bedroom to fix her dress and her hair... The smarmy barbarian (good friend of mine) goes "And thus begins the horrible legend of Kaelaran, the only man to be in and out in under two seconds."
Took us all ten minutes to recover from that one.... Man, humor was so different back then. Or at least that kind of humor was more humorous than what we got now xD.
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In my current homebrew campaign, one of my guys rolled a CN Serpentfolk Necromancer named Richard. Somewhere along the line he decided that he was being "corrupted" by the goodness of our Paladin/Oracle of Erastil(DMPC).
At one point he asked me(DM) if he could take on an apprentice(for story purposes) and I said sure. At which point he goes to the local orphanage and finds a 5 year old half-drow girl.
Now Richard uses a hat of Disguise Self to mask his appearance, and the first time he reveals himself to the girl the following conversation occurs:
Richard: *takes off hat and reveals true self*
Girl: *GASP*... *backs away slowly*...Why do you look like that?
Richard: It's my true form. It's how I was born.
Girl: Why did you look different before?
Richard: Because some people think I am ugly, and are scared of me.
Girl: *thinks for a moment and then slowly walks forward and hugs his legs* I don't think you're ugly mister Richard...
The whole table says aww... and another player points and says "Roll for warm fuzzies!" Everyone cracked up.
|Charlie Chase
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Playing a character based off of Charlie Sheen in a D20 Future post-apocalyptic (Fallout) setting...
When our party of 4 level 1 characters is facing down group of 10 fiends/raiders:
Ray - "They out-number us 2.5 to 1."
Charlie - "If Charlie Sheen can kill Two and a Half Men, so can we!"
Later on that session when hiding from a deathclaw:
Charlie - "If Charlie Sheen can kill Spin City we can kill a deathclaw!"
|Turin the Mad
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More from a while back.
After learning the villian they are after is travelling with an elf and a halfling;
W, human druid: "...the halfling is probably some sneaky sort- watch your backs."
D, half-orc barbarian/fighter with terrible mental stastics: "That's racist. That's profiling. That's wrong."
The above was made funnier by the fact that this was at a point where the second player was still young, quiet, and shy, and it was often difficult to pry any words out of him over the course of an evening other than "I attack," so it was incredibly unexpected. In recent years he has become a rather witty fellow.
Later that night;
W, after taking sneak attack damage from a scorching ray: "Called it, you jerks!"
|Kobold Cleaver
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we had a bunch of these last night. we were playing shadowrun and one of our contacts had just been kidnapped by the people-smugglers we'd been tracking, and they'd left a note saying 'go away or the girl gets it' or something to that effect.
now this contact had saved my character's life in his character history, and was a good friend reguardless. so naturally he gets rather cranky at the bad guys.
here's the rub. my character is crazy prepared, to the point where he has several LAW missile launchers and ammo burried around the city. which the GM wasn't exactly expecting (he'd okayed it earlier, but had obviously thought it was just fluff.) anyway, we track down the badguys and corner them in a building they'd fortified. i'm going in for a short-ranged assult, so i hand the LAW over to my buddy the sniper/mage.
The fight starts and it becomes clear that we can't get through the enemy's rediculous armour, to the point where one guy shrugged off full auto from our riggers drone... which was wielding a MINIGUN. so my buddy pulls out the LAW and fires. the missile kills the enemy sharpshooter and brings a section of the building down on the guy below, and i say it...
"Well, it looks like he fought the LAW, and the LAW won."
that did it. from then on everything we said about that rocket launcher was a pun. one enemy had a LAW of his own, but it got blown up by our mage when he hurled the guy into the ceiling. so someone said that he 'broke the LAW'. then another guy went down to a direct hit from a missile, and i said 'we're lucky we've got the LAW on our side'. we were tired of them by the end, but we had a ton of fun with bad puns on the way.
BTW i'm looking for something new to have stashed around the city so i can surprise everyone by breaking it out next time we cross the godzilla threashold. any suggestions?
|Turin the Mad
A safehouse in the lower end of town, very basic furnishings (i.e., nothing worth stealing), decent security.
Here's the trick: demo the crappy sheet rock when you guys come across vast piles of explosives - your fixer I'm sure can sniff out a suitable shipment to steal, drug dealers to wipe out or what ever.
All the explosives you get become "insulation". If you get cornered, head there. (Hopefully you have an exit plan ...)
When the baddies pounce, at the right moment, you detonate YOUR HOUSE.
|Turin the Mad
i like the way you think. i already maintain five safehouses, so rigging one or two to blow is probably not going to be that tough.
only catch is that my GM has been playing the badguys with exactly this tactic, so odds on he'll have a way around it.
Who says yours has a timer? ^__^
|CalebTGordan RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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Ok, this is from a 3.5 Forgotten Relams game we played for something like 7 years. Our party was notorious for disliking Cleric's because our first two Cleric's were DMPCs and both were Harper Plants as one of the party wizards was the son of the evil sorceress in charge of the Hosttower in Luskan, and the other wizard was the son of the Sorceress's Rival.
Anyway, we had problems with the Clerics reporting our movements to the Harpers, so the wizards were very distrustful of them.
The third Cleric in our party, a Priest of Tymora, got along great with us. We were very impulsive as a group, and often times managed to take on things more powerful than we should because of luck (Tymora). The Cleric, as we adventured, seemed very protective of the Rogue, Jack, for some reason we couldn't really figure out. Rod, the Cleric's a name, always went out of his way to save Jack and it seemed kind of odd. We also noticed that Rod never actually bathed where any of us could see him, always went out of his way to seek privacy when needing to use the bathroom, and never took of his armor. We later played through a module in which the BBEG was a Drow Priestess that had a conjoined twin that was an equal level wizard/sorcerer (not sure which). During the fight, my character failed a save against Harm and died. The Drow tried to hit the Rogue with a Finger of Death, and Rod stepped forward, knocked off his helmet revealing very feminine features, screamed, "You B~$+@! DON'T YOU TOUCH MY MAN!" with Righteous Might on and whopped that Drow's Ass.
Turns out she had a crush on Jack, always sought privacy because she was hiding she was a female. This revelation didn't go very well with the already Clerically paranoid Wizards, but they settled their differences and things went well.
Later on, we visited one of the layers of Heaven, and Jack and Rodellia (her name) had some special alone time. Later on, there was a situation with a steel predator mauling Jack. Rodellia, freaked out, screamed out something about getting off her baby's daddy. Then turned to Jack and said, "By the way, I'm pregnant."
The look on the guy playing Jack was... indescribable.
|Ed Girallon Poe
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Can't believe I forgot this one, old but great;
The party was about to scale a sheer cliff face to a cave and sends their rogue up first to scout ahead. A, the rogue, climbs up with little difficulty and finds a Minotaur within the cave mouth. The rogue thought he convinced the Minotaur to spare him, and even made friends with some quick wordplay, but the monster lured him within and sprung a trap, nearly killing him. Later the party's dwarven priestess, P, takes him aside to find out exactly what happened after they had to rush in and save him. Once hearing the story...
P: The Minotaur bluffed you? They have an Int of 7 and a -1 Bluff modifier!
A: What!? They're naturally cunning! It says so in their stat block!
|CalebTGordan RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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A (playing a paladin at the time) *after being paralyzed with Dexterity damage*: "Tie me to the fighter; I still have lay on hands left!"
The party had come to a door that appeared to only open to when smeared in blood, not wanting to hurt themselves, the party has the sorcerer use a Summon Monster spell to get a hound archon...
W: "Cut yourself and smear your blood on the door."
Hound archon: "You didn't summon me; I don't have to do what you say."
A (who summoned the archon): "Do what he says."
Hound archon: "Why didn't you get something non-intelligent if you just need it to bleed instead of torturing me?"
A: "Because you can cast aid on us afterward."
Hound archon *sighing*: "Once I'm done here I'm going to get my trumpet archon friends to come back and have a little talk about this..."
One time my friend had planned this encounter, with an NPc named Kyrk. He was some german pirate captain with these crazy iron guantlets. When the party met him, the DM introduced him as Captain.....Kyrk. Then he realized what he had done.
Another time, i was running a savage worlds game, and the party had to cross a river. It had rapids, but they decided to wade across. Well the first guy trys a strength check and botches his roll (critical failure). He goes whisking away, and attempts a swim roll (he has no swimming skill). Botches that roll and begins to drown. His friend jumps in to save him, and botches his swimming roll also, and begins to drown. The part cleric summoned a water elemental to save them. It was the highlight of the nite - i had not planned that outside of it being a river on the map!
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Recently, in our pathfinder game, we discover a plan by the creatures of the darklands to invade the surface during an eclipse, and work a ritual that will forevermore darken the sun. The party begins wondering what they should do about it. The magus in the party is a LE individual who the party is trying to rehabilitate, after capturing him (they want him to kill his parents, a graveknight and a lich, for them).
Magus: "I have an idea, but you're not going to like it..."
Cleric of Lore and Double Entry Book-keeping: "We never like your ideas Sear."
Alchemist: "You think about magic too much. You should think scientifically."
Magus: "Fine then, what do you think we should do?"
Monk: "Stopping the invasion sounds like a plan."
Cleric: "There's no way we can protect all the ways they'll come up to the surface."
Rogue: "We should assassinate their leader, and then everything will fall into disarray and we won't have to worry."
Paladin: "I won't be party to assassinations."
Magus: "We don't need to! The moon is the real source of the problem here. All we have to do is turn the moon invisible! Than the eclipse won't matter, and they'll crawl back to their holes."
A brief moment of silence follows, as the rest of the players check to ensure that the magus's player did not sneak into the liquor cabinet. We were planning on stopping soon, and they needed to be good to drive.
Cleric: "Well, the good news is that we're having a positive impact on him. This is the first time that he hasn't suggested horrific and costly violence as method of solving his problem."
Alchemist: "True. When he said the moon was the source of the problem, I was worried he was going to say we should destroy it. Then I'd have needed to invent the Laws of Gravity to show him why that would be a bad thing."
Paladin: "Aye, it appears this redemption thing is actually possible. I never would have believed it."
Magus: "And after we turn the moon invisible, we can steal the artifact the drow are going to use to lock it in place, and use it as a giant focusing lens to burn up everyone who doesn't do as we say."
Alchemist: "Ooh... that sounds like a fun project, figuring out the curvature we would need and the focal point..."
The rest of the party face palms.
Later in the journey, the party sees a group of tengu walking out of town in the opposite direction of them. The magus immediately turns to the cleric (our nominal party leader) and says "Can I have a friendly match with one of them? You should wager on it!" And runs over to issue the challenge without waiting for a response. Cleric sits there fuming as the match is fought (we're only holding up a meeting with the avatar of a goddess to do this).
After the Magus wins (it's a close call), he comes back, all proud of his skills and such. "So, how much did you win betting on me?"
Cleric: "I put the wager against you, so we lost a thousand gold. It's coming out of your share of the loot"
Magus: "Why would you wager against me? And why is it coming out of my share?"
Cleric: "No one beats tengu in a sword duel! Why would I wager that you could manage an impossible task? You knew it was impossible, so you should have known how I was going to bet and thrown the match, that's why it is coming out of your share!"
Magus walks away muttering: "That's why no one else wins against tengu. Because they won't get paid if they don't throw the match."
In my current game we have a very silly fighter. He almost always rolls 1s on perception. Our cleric finally said "Put your helmet on right Effsee."
He did and then rolled a 20 on perception.
The most fun we had was when I convinced the fighter that the will-o-wisps we saw through the mansion windows were actually giant fireflies. It went into a huge joke about how he needed a special net to catch them and a giant jar to hold them. I nearly had him racing back to town to buy them.
The rest of the group woke up due to his excitement and ruined my fun with it. He still wants to catch the giant fireflies though.
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Group is exploring the ruins of a lost Dwarven capital. They stone shape down into the caves, and come across a cavern filled with fungus (literally wall to wall fungus). They cut through it, then find more stone, and keep stone shaping through that. Eventually, they get out into a huge 2 mile diameter cavern... coated with 10 feet of fungus all around, and covering the floors. Mounds of fungus turn out to be 2 and 3 story buildings. One of the characters, a Gnome Oracle, is bummed out there's nothing to loot (given they'd have to excavate literally TONS of fungus to find anything). So, being bored, he's trying to find things to keep him busy. He tries a healing check to see if the fungus is edible, but fails the roll. Then he decides to start trying to find magic items using Detect Magic, after all if it will see through a foot of stone, surely it can see through 2-3 feet of fungus right?
Only the fungus is mildly magically active. So he can't see any auras through it. The inquisitor asks what kind of magic it is, and the gnome looks to the GM. The GM informs him it's a very minor necromancy aura.
The Gnome makes a disgusted face. "Oh yeah, well then I don't think I want to eat the necromantic mushrooms..."
Game stops while everyone laughs.
|CalebTGordan RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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The group is exploring the wilderness and spots a hippogriff flying high above. The party groups the horses and wagons to discourage attack and then succeeds on a High DC handle animal check to lure it to the ground. They gained a small bonus by leaving a pile of food and it landed and fed on it. The cleric wanted to get as close to it as possible and rolled a Handle Animal check for it. Natural 20 and the result was high enough to allow him to sit close enough to touch it without actually touch it. While he did that, the party discussed capturing it or finding some way to tame it. They eventually came to the conclusion that the best they could do was convince it to like them enough to follow it. The GM informed them that the DC was pretty high, and that it would take everything they had and all the luck in the world.
The entire party rolls, some only hoping to assist. The cleric rolls first and rolls a natural 20. The Sorcerer is next and rolls a natural 20. The Fighter rolls and, guess what, rolls a natural 20. The other two members only pull off assists. Everyone is freaking out about the three natural 20s in a row and the GM is shocked at what happened. Just for the heck of it, he rolls a d20 and... natural 20.
"Well," the GM quietly utters, "The dice have spoken. I'm going home."
He was joking of course, but the sight of him put his dice away and standing from the table just added to the moment and made everyone laugh.
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A party of 7 adventurers sneak up on 2 goblins.
Lance: They are only goblins so I attack
GM: roll for attack
Lance: rolls a 1
GM: potential critical fumble, roll to confirm
Lance: rolls a 2
GM: fumble confirmed, draws critical fumble card. You are unconscious for 1d4 rounds, rolls a 3
Goblin: Coude'gras
GM: Goblin did 6 dmage, you need a fortitude DC 10 + 6 or you die
Lance: rolls a 1 and fails fortitude save
GM: Yes they were only goblins
lol so much
Soaked in blood from goblins
Durgar: You smell like the captains old piss bottle he use to keep in his cabin.
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In a long ago 1e game; The party is stranded in the wilderness without a druid or a ranger and have finally run out of rations. Managing to kill a rabbit with a crossbow, one of the fighters takes the entrails and puts them on a rock.
Me (the DM): What are you doing?
Him: I'm going to use these rabbit guts as bait to attract game.
Me: *Blank stare*
Party: *Blank stares*
Him: What? Haven't you ever heard of using food to attract prey?
Other Party Member (OPM): Yes, of course. But...
Him: Well, dumba$$, that's what I'm doing.
OPM: Just exactly what sort of game are you trying to attract?
Him: I dunno, more rabbits, maybe? Some squirrels, maybe a deer?
Me: *trying not to step in and metagame as well as holding back a snicker*
OPM: *Shrugs and walks off* Ok, then.
Later I roll for an encounter check, and on my random table it comes up "Wemic hunting party". The Wemics, smelling the rabbit innards baking on a rock, come to investigate and find the party, who are interlopers in their territory, sitting around moaning about being hungry. The Wemics get the drop on them and attack immediately.
OPM: *during the fight* "Oh! Attract some game, he says! Rabbits and squirrels he says! Next time I'm using you for bait because I think you're nuts!"
We laughed. A lot.
|Sanakht Inaros
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My wife is pretty new to gaming. I'm running them through Carrion Crown. In the beginning of Broken Moon they run into a couple of large werewolves. One of them starts to talk.
My wife: "WTF? They speak? OH, hell no! I'm outta here!" The expression on her face and that she actually pushed herself away from the table, had us rolling.
My wife is good for a lot of one-liners.
Society play. They found out they were going to be facing off against a bard. They were like "We got this."
Four rounds later, I've mopped the floor with the party. She looks at me, "Bard's are gay."
Another player has a barbarian that has an ability that allows him to grow spikes. He demonstrated it by putting his hands next to his chest and pops out his forefingers and makes a popping sound. My wife: "Great. Just what we need. A barbarian with a tittie hard-on problem."
A party of 7 adventurers sneak up on 2 goblins.
Lance: They are only goblins so I attack
GM: roll for attack
Lance: rolls a 1
GM: potential critical fumble, roll to confirm
Lance: rolls a 2
GM: fumble confirmed, draws critical fumble card. You are unconscious for 1d4 rounds, rolls a 3
Goblin: Coude'gras
GM: Goblin did 6 dmage, you need a fortitude DC 10 + 6 or you die
Lance: rolls a 1 and fails fortitude save
GM: Yes they were only goblins
lol so much
Soaked in blood from goblins
Durgar: You smell like the captains old piss bottle he use to keep in his cabin.
And this is why we stoped using fumbles.
Our DM has converted Age of Worms to Forgotten Realms, so we are in Waterdeep. We've been investigating and trying to find out where the worms are going, and we're pretty damn sure that the arena is involved.
The leader (owner?) of the arena is this noble and former champion, all scarred up and badass, and almost certainly guilty as hell. But we can't prove anything.
We are hired to go fight in the tournament, and while we are there we do some more digging and find a bit scary temple under the arena with a big scary worm monster.
2 PC deaths later we are running off with two bodies and our buddies soul trapped in a chest to the nearest temple to fix it.
Back to the arena, it's time for our last fight, only ... well ... we failed to stop the worm under the area from spawning, it erupts out of the ground during our last match, and the noble in charge turns into a death knight or whatever and starts monologuing.
At which point my friend shouts: "HEY! THE JIG IS UP! WE KNOW IT WAS YOU!"
It probably doesn't translate well in text, but man, we were in tears. I still laugh about it.
|CalebTGordan RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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Paladin steps around a corner and looks in. He rolls a natural 1 on his perception check, and has the total result is below 5.
"All clear guys! It looks totally safe."
He moves in deeper. A dire boar charged him from the darkness. He takes a great amount of damage.
"Do I see him now?" Rolls again just for kicks, natural 1.
"Still safe guys! I just ran into something is all!"
I have two... the first was more a situation than a one liner.
The DM gave a young player a "Pick of Mundaneness" and player lite up thinking he got some cool magic item.
Needless to say, he wasn't laughing with the rest of us when he realized what mundaneness meant.
Yes the DM was a jerk... but it was funny.
The second was with my current group.
The player, an oracle, was asked how he knew his god was the right god or something to that effect.
In response he simply said, "Because she's white."
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My old gaming group had a on going Dragon-Lance game. It's an old school setting, I understand if newer players do not get the joke.
The DM's girlfriend wanted to play a Elf he had helped her roll up. She was not really understanding the cultural differences and we did our best to educate her when this gem slipped out. It went something like...
"There are different types of Elves you can choose from. The most common are the Qualinesti elves, the Silvanesti elves...."
She interrupts here:
"The LiptonIceTea Elves?"
I almost died laughing that night, no seriously, it felt like a sledgehammer had knocked the wind out of me. :D
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Friend of mine playing in Witchfire Trilogy (Iron Kingdoms RPG) he and his party and camped for the night with him on watch (he was playing a male elf gunmage) when a Slayer helljack (8 ton construct with a mean temper and acidic claws) walked up to the camp.
DM: roll for spot
Gunmage(GM): ...rolls a 1 'I keep staring into the fire'
(DM calls for another check with same result. By this time the Slayer had walked up behind him)
DM: The Slayer taps you on the shoulder, everyone but the elf make a listen check as the elf screams like a girl)
Paladin: I thought all elves were girls. this just confirmed it.
|Elinor Knutsdottir
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I was GMing "Curse of the Crimson Throne" AP in which the players receive 'harrow points' which they can use for a variety of things, in this case re-roll fortitude saves. During a fight with a bunch of were rats the druid got bitten. Afterwards -
GM - Right, fortitude save against lycanthropy.
Druid - 17
GM - Ok, that's fine.
Druid - can I use a harrow point to reroll it?
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Here's an oldie but a goodie:
We were doing a generic dungeon crawl when the DM suddenly had us swarmed by Kobolds who proceeded to surround and kick the crap out of the party. Finally after a decently long battle we win and as we go to open the door to the room the DM says, "When you open the door you see the Kobold chieftan waiting for his guards to return." The following conversation happens:
Fighter: OOH can I throw one of his own guards back at him?
DM: Uh, I don't know. Let me see your sheet.
Fighter: Ok *hands over sheet*.
DM: Nope sorry...
Fighter: Why not?
DM: You're not proficient in Kobolds.
I'm sure it's been used over and over again, but when we switched to Pathfinder first feat he took was Throw Anything.
From last week's mid-game digression (you know, that point where someone has to say something to break up the seriousness of the game, and the game devolves into a joke session for a few minutes? We've all had them...)
"Man, if we run into Jabba the Hutt in our next Star Wars game, and he stretches out on that big dais of his and says 'Ni shon wonna do nabba French Girls, Jack," I am OUT of there."
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Our dear DM often misspeaks. One of the most memorable was when we were exploring the second floor of a nasty, disgusting lumber mill that some blood cultists were using as a front. We see a 5' x 5' closet on the map, so we go explore it with good Perception rolls...
DM: "You find about twenty rogues in the closet."
Of course, he meant robes.
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I submit for you the following: back in 3.5 I played an insane gnome artificer who had a penchant for coming up with crazy devices without thinking them through. to this end I kept a notebook of ideas, and when the party provided inspiration I wrote them down, now matter how absurd. These are the best...
My group also had a thing about gnomish inventions. The two that I recall best were the voice-operated espresso machine... that the parrot familiar figured out. "*skwak* ESPRESSO-ESPRESSO-ESPRESSO!!! *skwak*" and The Boots. The Boots used to be a simple pair of sneakers but after years of meticulous testing and engineering, with dozens of odd components and exotic materials grafted on, they no longer squeak when you walk across a wet floor. Dry floors on the other hand...
|2 people marked this as a favorite.
In a d20 Modern GeneTech game I was playing a genetically modified anthropomorphic buffalo with a charisma of 7. We were breaking into the facility of a Russian drug cartel and had cleared most of the bottom floor, my character (the language expert) went to scout ahead. He encountered one of the bad guys coming down the stairs and a brief battle ensued. I did everything I could to keep it quiet, but the ensuing grapple involved a string of bad rolls and a lot of crashing into things and loud swearing before I could kill the guy. The rest of the crew upstairs heard the ruckus and shouted out "Peyter, what was that? Are you OK?", without missing a beat I improvised "I broke my leg!" ...in my deep bass rumble of a voice, with an American accent (rolled a modified 0 on my bluff check).
With modifiers for distance and for not being particularly concerned about the missing man (he wasn't very popular), they rolled less than zero. Hilarity ensued.
|1 person marked this as a favorite.
in a shadowrun game that took place in 98, myself and 2 friends were playing at the dinning room table. My friend, nicknamed GUMP had just purchased an uparmored ford american bison, in shadowrun terms thats an RV with a s$*%-ton of armor. I think it had an armor value of 24..
anywho, i digress, So gump is prattling on and on about his new ride, how cool it is, how it is all terrain this, and has more armor than a main battle tank, and so on, so i, being the uncaring ork, walk up to it and proceed to scratch the paint with a fork that the ork carried with him.
Gump gets upset, and starts swearing, pissing and moaning about his new rides scratched up paint.
looking through his books and papers, he suddenly exclaims AHA! The bison shocks you, preventing you from damaging it! both the gm and i look at each other, and ask How? as we grab his books and papers and scour through them looking for that one piece of gear that he bought that could do that. Finally, we look up at his smirking face.
Because it has living amenities
The GM and I look at each other again, and proceed to laugh. We laugh so loud that it brings in the GMS step dad and friends. We explain what is so funny, and the old guys crack up as well. One laughed so hard he sat on the floor to keep from falling.
Gump, in the mean time, has a scowl on his face. Finally, when the laughter dies down, he asks Whats so funny?
The guy sitting on the floor asks Do you even know what living amenities are?
gump Yeah, they are a security feature that protects the RV from damage he says
We laugh louder this time, and at the point that he begins to pack up his books and is about ready to leave, the GM explains what living amenities are.
Yeah, the GM and i kept laughing at gump for a solid month after that, until his next great proclamation Where's india?!
|2 people marked this as a favorite.
Because it has living amenities
This one takes some context, and I'm not sure if I'm telling it properly but it had us all laughing... Same character as above, the genetech game's overt bison moreau:
A cruise missile had experienced a malfunction in flight and failed to detonate. An unfriendly country had recovered it was gearing up to move it to an ultra-secure laboratory for reverse engineering. We hand once chance to recover it while it was still under guard at the military warehouse so we infiltrated the facility, took care of the guards, and left with the cruise missile (got to love the carrying capacity bonus for large creatures!).
The guards were fairly capable dog moreaus so we had to take them by complete surprise. My character had the stealth skills (I'd bought my Dex all the way up to 14, with the -4 racial penalty) so I got close, but was spotted at the last second. When I created the character, the GM had given me a fairly spiffy trait for my buffalo horns- he let them count as a natural weapon that I could use only during a charge to deal 1d20 subdual damage. I hadn't had a chance to use it yet but it seemed that this was the time. I rolled a critical, and the guard bounced three times before he came to rest.
We would often have little post-mission debriefings that were in the style of Ghost and the Shell's "Tachikomatic Days". In this one the forensics unit attempted to put together a sketch of the person who had infiltrated the facility. It was Merlin, on a hovercraft, with a bison's skull mounted to the grille.
|14 people marked this as a favorite.


text:
Law & Society Program
Academic Advising: Sara Neziol, (519) 756-8228, ext 5790, firstname.lastname@example.com
The Law & Society Honours BA and minor, and LY courses are only available at the Brantford Campus.
With contemporary studies, the Law and Society program will allow students to explore the relationships between laws, courts, and other social institutions, such as economics, morality, politics, and common sense. The program combines both theoretical and applied analyses of law and legal process so that you will emerge with a deep understanding of the role of law in our day-to-day lives.
Department Information on this page
Program Information
The following LY courses are only available at the Brantford Campus.
Academic & Related Dates 2009/2010
Other Calendars

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Issued by Google Internet Authority
With 2 subject alternative names this certificate can be used to secure multiple fqdn's. While the certificate has already expired and will cause a warning or error message in the browser it's still listed on this site to allow you to look back on previously issued certificates.
SHA1 with RSA
Server Authentication
Client Authentication
7 extensions
No unhandled critical extensions
This is not a CA certificate


text:
Attend CompTIA CDIA+, Project+ training in Boulder. NetCom Learning provides more than 1500+ IT and Business training courses throughout Boulder, CO and the country. Whether you're looking for customized onsite comptia-cdia+-project+ training for a private group throughout Boulder area or a public instructor-led online comptia-cdia+-project+ class, NetCom Learning has the solution for you.
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Private training is an excellent corporate solution to achieve maximum value for your training funds. Private group training is ideal for situations requiring more than 1 student taking the same training. NetCom Learning has been helping our clients achieve their private group training objectives since 1998. Our goal is to meet your learning requirements, with a strong focus on achieving excellence in all your interactions with us.
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VSEA elects new presidentThe Associated Press | September 20,2013MONTPELIER Members of the Vermont State Employees Association have elected a union official as the associations president for a two-year term, the union announced Wednesday.
Shelley Martin is a 13-year veteran of state government who works for the Department of Environmental Conservation in Montpelier and has served FOR four years as first vice president of the VSEA.
She replaces John Reese, who did not seek another term as VSEA president.
Martin previously had served in several other roles with the union, including on its legislative, member recruitment, special events and personnel committees.
She said her goals include enhancing empowerment of workers at their state worksites and organizing Vermont workers who dont currently have a union but would like to.
She moves into the top job following a bumpy year for the union. Its trustees fired the unions executive director, Mark Mitchell, in June, but changed course days later, instead placing Mitchell on administrative leave pending an investigation. Mitchell was reinstated in July, and two top lawyers with the union resigned.
VSEA is experiencing a lot of positive and in my opinion long-overdue changes right now, Martin said in a statement released by the union.
Like a majority of VSEA leaders, I believe that the times we live in dictate that our union begins to place a greater emphasis on empowering VSEA members at their worksites and growing our union by organizing more and more Vermont workers who currently dont have a union but would like one.MORE IN Vermont NewsMONTPELIER Rep. Peter Welch, D-Vt. Full StoryVermont Attorney General Bill Sorrell plans to join the U.S. Full StoryMONTPELIER Gov. Full Story
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Planning ahead; Lazy, hazy and crazy!
May 22, 2013 —
Ahhh. The good old summertime is almost here and (IMHO) none too soon. Personally, I love all of the seasons we in the Upper Delaware Valley have to celebrate, and each has its own merits, but with Memorial Day upon us, all thoughts lead to summer.
As for lazy, the region offers so many opportunities to bask. Lakes, ponds, rivers and streams beckon as the sun warms our favorite watering holes. The weather has been gorgeous and I made my first trip to Crystal Lake (www.dec.ny.gov/outdoor/61459.html) last week with the wonder dog in tow. Pristine, with the surrounding forest in full bloom, the 38 acre lake is within walking distance and serves as a backdrop for great fishing, hiking and (wait for it) berry picking still to come. While Dharma checked out the fat tadpoles lazily sprouting legs, I snapped photos and made plans to check out some of the other glorious lakes that dot the landscape. If you have a favorite spot, send your pics to email@example.com and we'll share them on Facebook in the coming months.
With another birthday right around the corner, (May 25—feel free to send cash) I'm a little hazy on where I went last year, but I know that I'll be returning to some of my favorite summer haunts. I spoke with producer Norman Duttweiler of the Forestburgh Playhouse (www.fbplayhouse.org) a few days ago and started making plans for the theatre's upcoming season. Although I'm convinced that I served as Duttweiler's inspiration for the 2013 roster of shows, he says it just ain't so. All I know is that I had star turns in "South Pacific," "Grease" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" back in the day, and now all of those shows are slated for the FBP; but Norman insists that it's "merely coincidence." Hmm. As if to appease me, Duttweiler asked Dharma to make a cameo appearance in Monty Python's "Spamalot" during its run (July 16 to 28) and suggested I might as well be on stage, too. Mark your calendars, plan ahead, and leave the rotten fruit at home.


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Eureka Seven AO
coral carriers
Episode 22 | TV-14
The confrontation with Truth brings to light new truths about him and the strange IFO-like craft called the Canon that is now a part of him. And these inconvenient truths begin to change things for Naru and for the Allied Forces.
Dub Expires: 12-26-2014
Official Site: www.funimation.com/shows/eureka-seven-astral-oceanHide Details


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Painting No. 4 (A Black Horse)
Marsden Hartley, American, 1877 - 1943
Made in Germany, Europe
Oil on canvasDimensions:
39 1/4 x 31 5/8 inches (99.7 x 80.3 cm)Curatorial Department:
American Art
1949-18-8Credit Line:
The Alfred Stieglitz Collection, 1949
Made in Germany, Europe
Oil on canvasDimensions:
39 1/4 x 31 5/8 inches (99.7 x 80.3 cm)Curatorial Department:
American Art
* Gallery 50, Modern and Contemporary Art, ground floorAccession Number:
1949-18-8Credit Line:
The Alfred Stieglitz Collection, 1949
A replica of this work is featured in Inside Out, a series of outdoor exhibitions throughout the region.
Social Tags [?]20th century [x] eight [x] fish [x] frame [x] horse [x] lgbtq artist [x] native american [x] primitive style [x] river [x] tepee [x] totem [x] water [x]
[Add Your Own Tags]
Painting No. 4 pays tribute to Lieutenant Karl von Freyburg, a German cavalryman killed on the western front in October 1914, shortly after the start of World War I. Marsden Hartley, who lived in Berlin from 1913 to 1915, was enamored with the young officer and the regimented pageantry that came with his military position. The loss of von Freyburg dealt a devastating blow to the artist, prompting him to create a series of moving and intricately symbolic paintings. This composition combines the bright colors, flattened space, and simplified forms of modernist painting with allusions to von Freyburg and to Native American cultures, the latter of which Hartley perceived as peaceful when compared to wartime Europe.
Explore the Collections
* Works in the collection are moved off view for many different reasons. Although gallery locations on the website are updated regularly, there is no guarantee that this object will be on display on the day of your visit.


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Preferred Stocks: An Overlooked Alternative
by John Deysher
Anxious investors looking to preserve wealth and pick up yield have increasingly focused on fixed income. But it's been a tough few years for yield-oriented investors—interest rates are low and the world is awash in liquidity.
As a total return–oriented portfolio manager, I'm constantly on the lookout for income vehicles that can augment our holdings in low-yielding common stocks. One solution: preferred stocks.
How They Work
Preferred stocks ("preferreds") have been around for over a century. They represent a slice of a company's capital structure that is senior to the common shares, but subordinate to the debt (both secured and unsecured).
As with common stock, dividends aren't guaranteed and must be declared by the board of directors, usually on a quarterly basis. The dividend is usually a specific dollar amount per share or a percentage of par/stated value. (Par/stated values normally range between $25 and $50 per share.)
Unlike bonds, preferreds usually have no maturity date for when the principal is repaid. However, most can be called or redeemed by the issuer at a specific date and price.
- Preferred status: Dividends must be paid on the preferred stock before they can be paid on the common stock. In a sale, liquidation or bankruptcy reorganization, the interests of the preferred holders usually come ahead of those of the common stock holders, but behind the debt holders.
- Liquidity: Most preferreds trade on the NYSE or NASDAQ in round lots of 100 shares, making them easier to purchase than bonds, which trade in lots of $5,000 to 10,000.
- Tax advantages: Currently, preferred dividends are taxed at an appealing 15%, but that rate—part of the Bush tax reduction—is set to expire on December 31, 2010. In 2011, dividends of all types will be taxed as ordinary income if Congress does not act.
- Accumulation: Most, but not all, preferreds are cumulative, meaning if a full dividend is not paid each quarter, it accumulates indefinitely until paid. No common stock dividends can be paid until preferred dividends in arrears are paid. Holders of a cumulative preferred may not receive dividends for a quarter or even years. Then, should the firm's fortunes improve, the cumulative dividends will be paid. Some investors buy "broken" preferreds. These securities pay no dividends, but trade at big discounts to par/stated value; investors will hold them until the arrearage is cured (not a certainty). The shares normally rebound once dividend payments resume.
- Minimal voting rights: Preferred owners can rarely elect directors. However, if the firm wants to issue senior securities, merge, or fundamentally alter the firm's financial structure, the preferred owners usually have the right to vote on these matters.
- Callability: Almost all preferreds are callable at par/stated value at the issuer's option, normally at a specified price after a specified time from issue date (usually five years). In the declining interest rate environment of recent years, many preferreds have been called, leaving holders with the challenge of replacing a high-dividend income stream. Companies are constantly looking to lower their cost of capital, and refinancing a high-cost preferred is one of the most logical ways to do this.
- Interest rate risk: Like most fixed-income vehicles, existing preferreds will rise in price if interest rates fall and decline in price if interest rates rise. (The preferred's vulnerability to a change in interest rates is similar to a bond with a longer maturity.) While there appears to be minimal evidence that rates are about to rise sharply, preferred owners should realize that risks increase as yields rise. Investors are best off buying preferreds in a stable or declining interest rate environment and avoiding them if rates are about to rise.
- Credit risk: Deterioration in a company's fundamentals could inhibit the ability to make preferred dividend payments. An issuer will eliminate a preferred dividend before it will default on its debt. Many preferreds are rated by Moody's and/or Standard & Poor's and investors should stick with preferreds that are rated investment grade (Baa/BBB) or better. A ratings downgrade is a sign that trouble may be brewing. To see how deteriorating fundamentals can hurt a preferred issue, take a look at the recent action in the preferred issues of Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae and others. Losses were huge, as investors questioned their ultimate viability.
The Preferred Line-Up
Now that you know the preferred basics, let's talk more about the types of preferreds:
- Straight preferreds;
- Trust preferreds; and
- Convertible preferreds.
Straight Preferreds
These are your plain-vanilla issues, which pay a fixed dividend on par/stated value.
Take a look at the issues in Table 1. Most of these are straight or trust preferreds taken from the www.quantumonline.com database. All are rated BBB or better and most are now callable. Issues that are currently callable typically trade at or below the call price. As noted above, you don't want to pay a premium to the call price today only to have the issue called at a lower price tomorrow. The average yield is 7%, well above what most bank CDs and money funds are paying. The higher return is indicative of higher risk including the credit and interest rate risk mentioned above.
|Axis Capital 7.2% Pfd A
|BB&T Capital Tst VII 8.1% Trust Pfd C
|Bank NY Mellon Cap Tst V 6% Trust Pfd F
|DuPont 3.5% Pfd A
|Everest Re Capital Tst II 6.2% Trust Pfd
|Goldman Sachs 6.2% Pfd B
|M&T Bank Capital Trust IV 8.5% Trust Pfd
|Metlife 6.5% Pfd B
|Partner Re 6.8% Pfd C
|Principal Financial 6.5% Pfd B
|Renaissance Re 7.3% Pfd B
|Simon Property 8.4% Pfd J
|Real Estate
*As of July 9, 2010.
Source: www.quantumonline.com
Trust Preferreds
These preferreds are backed by a bond issue held in trust and they provide the increased safety of bonds with the liquidity of stocks. The bond interest flows to the preferred holder, making them tax deductible to the issuer but fully taxable to the preferred holder.
Trust preferreds come in two flavors: those created by the company issuing the bonds, and those created by a broker-dealer using bonds it buys from the issuer for that purpose.
Company-issued trust preferreds are usually a bit riskier. They often have a provision allowing dividends to be suspended for up to five years under certain conditions.
Broker-created trusts (known as third-party trusts) don't have this risk and are usually rated higher than company-issued trusts.
Major issuers of trust preferreds include many utility, industrial, financial and communications firms. Denominations are usually $25 to $100 and redemption provisions can be tricky, so step carefully.
One advantage of this particular type is that, upon liquidation, a trust preferred's debentures generally rank as junior debt, ahead of a company's traditional preferred or common shares.
Convertible Preferreds
These provide the owner with the right to exchange a share of preferred stock for a share (or shares) of common stock in the same company based on a predetermined conversion or exchange ratio, which won't change. Upon conversion, the owner has the rewards and risks of a common shareholder. (I am excluding discussion of mandatory convertible securities, which are complicated with many special provisions and are most suitable for professional investors.)
Generally, the yield on a convertible preferred exceeds the common stock yield.
Because of the dividend, the convertible preferred will usually decline less if the common stock declines, providing a cushion on the downside. If the common stock rises, the convertible will also rise because of the conversion feature.
The convertible preferred provides the best of both worlds—downside protection and upside potential. To the issuer, a convertible offers the chance to raise cash without giving away equity too cheaply, or paying a high interest rate on a bond.
The decision metrics on a convertible preferred are fairly straightforward. Assuming you like the company on a fundamental basis, some key elements include:
Conversion value:
conversion ratio × conversion price
Conversion premium:
convertible market price – conversion value
Yield pickup:
convertible dividend – (common dividend × conversion ratio)
Breakeven time:
conversion premium ÷ yield pickup
For example, say the convertible preferred of Company X ($25 par) is trading at $33 and pays a $2.50 per share dividend for yield of 7.6%. The conversion ratio is 6.2—meaning each preferred share is convertible into 6.2 shares of common. The common stock trades at $4.80 per share and does not yield a dividend. Assuming you like the company's fundamentals and the convertible shares aren't callable for several years, should you buy the convertible or the common stock? Here is the math:
Conversion value:
= 6.2 shares × $4.80
= $29.80
Conversion premium:
= $33.00 – $29.80
= $3.20
Yield pickup:
= $2.50 – (0 × 6.2)
= $2.50
Breakeven time:
= $3.20 ÷ $2.50
= 1.28 years
Generally, a breakeven time less than two years is very good. In the above example, a breakeven time of 1.28 years means that the premium paid for the conversion feature is recouped in a little over one year. (In other words, an investor is compensated for the premium cost of the preferred via the payment of dividends.) Once the breakeven point is passed, the investor has "paid for" the conversion feature in full and now earns the higher yield as long as he owns the convertible. Longer breakevens mean slower paybacks and a less attractive investment.
Should the investor at some point wish to "convert" his preferred shares to common, unless the conversion premium is small, it's better to sell the convertible and use the proceeds to buy the common. This is because the conversion premium is valuable and exercising the conversion feature directly eliminates the opportunity to monetize that premium. (The idea is that it is more profitable to take advantage of the spread between the preferred and the common than to exercise the conversion feature of preferred stock.)
Evaluating Preferreds
Since a preferred holder lacks the enforceable claim to interest and principal at maturity that is enjoyed by a bondholder, and the right to participate in residual profits enjoyed by the common stock holder (except for convertible holders), sound analysis is essential. The investor must demand an extra margin of safety because of the discretionary nature of the dividend payment. Indeed, a generally profitable firm that incurs temporary losses is likely to suspend preferred payments, even though its cumulative profitability is more than adequate to make the payments.
For that reason, for a proper evaluation you need to focus on the following questions.
Do You Like the Company's Fundamentals?
The focus here should be on the company's profitability, growth prospects, financial strength and management depth. Profitability allows dividend payments after any interest payments are made, so accurate analysis is critical. Size and competitive position are equally important as contributors to earnings consistency. The nature of the industry is also important—growth and consumer products industries generally have better long-term prospects than cyclical or declining industries.
What's the Capital Structure?
Preferreds with no bonds, notes or bank debt in front of them in the capital structure usually do better than those with any type of debt (which is paid ahead of the preferred).
Sometimes a company will have multiple classes of preferred shares outstanding, so make sure you know which ones are the senior securities. Even if an issuer has no debt, or other preferreds senior to your preferred, it may have the right to issue new securities (convertible or straight) that would be senior to yours. The only way to find out and protect yourself is to read the prospectus!
What's the Call Risk?
As mentioned above, almost all preferreds may be called at a certain price (usually par/stated value) after a certain date. Make sure you don't pay a premium to par, only to have the issue called away shortly at par. Generally, an issue approaching a call date will trade close to its call price. Sometimes a preferred will trade at a premium to call price up to and beyond its call date. This indicates investors are betting the issue won't be called, usually because the company lacks the cash to do it.
A convertible preferred may trade at a significant premium to the call price because of the value of the conversion feature. For example, if the Company X common mentioned above was trading at $12 per share instead of $4.80, the conversion value of the convertible preferred would be $74.40 (6.2 × $12). Thus, the price of the convertible preferred would be driven by its conversion feature rather than its dividend.
Indeed, many issuers "force" the conversion of a preferred to common by calling the preferred at par or stated value. Continuing with the above example, if Company X called the convertible at par value of $25 a share while the market price is $33, my guess is they wouldn't have many takers. Convertible holders would either convert to common or sell their convertible shares to someone who would. In either case, the issuer succeeds in replacing a high-cost preferred with low-cost common shares.
Is the Yield in Line With the Risk?
The old saying "there's no free lunch" applies to preferred investing. If a yield appears too good to be true, it probably is.
Preferreds that have exceptionally high yields normally have them for a reason. Investors doubt the yield is sustainable because of fundamental issues and have priced the security accordingly, usually to reflect a looming dividend cut or declining credit quality.
Is There a Sinking Fund?
The presence of a sinking fund provides an extra measure of protection to a preferred holder by requiring the issuer to set aside cash (usually a percentage of consolidated income) for the express purpose of paying the dividend.
Again, such important details are normally buried in the prospectus.
Preferred Closed-End Funds
Investors who don't want the responsibility of building and maintaining a portfolio of individual preferreds might want to look at closed-end funds. There are both straight and convertible closed-end funds that offer the benefits of diversification, professional management and economies of scale.
Many also trade at less than underlying net asset value, providing the opportunity to buy a dollar's worth of assets at a discount.
[For more information on closed-end funds please see "Rodney Dangerfield Investing: Closed-End Fund Opportunities" by John Deysher in the April 2007 AAII Journal, available at AAII.com.]
Table 2 notes some reasonable closed-end fund offerings.
Preferred stocks occupy a unique position in a firm's capital structure and can provide attractive dividends and important tax advantages.
Convertible preferreds offer the upside of the underlying common and the downside protection inherent in the dividend.
Buying high-quality, highly rated preferreds at steep discounts to par/stated value during times of market turmoil can provide robust total returns.
There are numerous preferreds available, most of which trade on an exchange or NASDAQ (see www.quantumonline.com for a comprehensive listing). Another dedicated site is www.preferred-stock.com, but a portion is subscription based. Prospectuses may often be found on the EDGAR portion of www.sec.gov.
However, few preferreds are followed by Wall Street firms, and all are vulnerable to interest rate and credit risks.
Stringent analysis of operating fundamentals, coverage ratios and balance sheet strength is essential, as are patience and a long-term outlook.
Happy hunting.
Mike from CA posted over 6 years ago:
Great article! Helped me as a novice to clearly understand the world of preferreds.
Antal from FL posted over 5 years ago:
I'm new to this,but that was pretty clear and nice.
Robert from WA posted over 5 years ago:
Good article. Would like to see a screenable list of preferreds.
Gary from PA posted over 5 years ago:
Walter from PA posted over 5 years ago:
Hancock mutual fund has a number of preferred mutual funds all of which are currently paying around 8% in dividends. I currently have substantial holdings of preferred stocks this way, along with significant capital gains. It's been a no brainer for me along with a great source of monthly income without having to decide which preferred stocks are best at this time.
Larry from CA posted over 5 years ago:
This article unfortunately overlooked an entire category of preferrreds, which is floating rate preferreds. The "dividend" is reset quarterly at a contractual spread over LIBOR (or some other index), thus interest rate risk discussed in the article is avoided. An additional bonus is that most have a "floor" which limits the downside risk of low interest rates, such as now.
As always, Quantum on-line is the source for finding this subset of investments. Read Quantum's article on preferred stock symbols before getting started.
Note: The effective yield on such floaters will be lower than than for fixed rate preferreds, the difference being the cost of interest rate protection.
Sanford from OH posted over 5 years ago:
Have several preferreds and their price has held fairly steady versus the topsy turvy of recent market events. They do pay a healthy dividend and have enjoyed that income. I do have a floating rate preferred from Goldman Sachs and its rate which stated on previous comment from Larry based on Libor; it is a little lower then the others (GMAC and NEXTRA ENERGY) but, still has a div. of over 5%. Personally for it not having voting rights; I don't think the amount of shares that most individual investors have make a difference anyway even with voting rights.
Robert from WI posted over 5 years ago:
I have held preferred's for a number of years and they have held up well, continuing to pay their dividends during the financial collapse of 2008. If individual preferred's create too much risk, what's wrong with buying the ETF "PFF" and spreading the risk around? I would like to hear comments about this investment vehicle.
Robert from IL posted over 5 years ago:
FYI "buyer beware" on preferreds.I built the dividend income portion of my retirement portfolio on (mostly trust type) preferreds.
Most of these were issued by banks and REITs. . . Of those that remain, I have been advised by my brokerage that pending changes to bank capital requirements under Dodd-Frank will allow banks the right to redeem them anytime at par regardless of call date.
I don't know the status of other types of preferreds: non-trust bank preferreds, non-bank preferrds, et.al. Congress can and will do almost anything it wants to without grandfathering existing contractual agreements.
Donald from MI posted over 4 years ago:
Are there any lists of preferred stocks and their ratings eaisily available ?
Maryanne from SC posted over 4 years ago:
It would be helpful if you provided a list of preferred stocks and the yields of each one. Also, ranking them according to performance and quality would be helpful.
Wayne from OR posted over 4 years ago:
Good articel. We retired folks need all the help we can get!
Ed from NY posted over 4 years ago:
Good article. Found the info from Walter (PA) interesting. Fund prefereds seems a good way to go.
George from CO posted over 4 years ago:
Good Information, I have used prefereds
in my IRA account.
Ron from TX posted over 4 years ago:
I have included Prefereds in my portfolio for years. I have lost some money on REIT's but then regain some when the company returns to profit and pays back dividends. (recently $24,300.) I do worry about the upcoming tax increase.
James from IL posted over 4 years ago:
I hold issues of Prologis preferred in my IRA, Prologis is a REIT, well managed and they seem to have no interest in calling them. 6.75% at $25 per share works for me.
Richard Jochem from WI posted over 3 years ago:
Are preferred yields always so much higher than general bond rates?
Why would companies pay much higher rates to preferred stock holders, instead of floating much lower rate bonds?
Everett B. Guthrie from CA posted over 3 years ago:
It is critical you let one know how the 6.2 conversion ratio is calculate or were we find this critical value.


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Enjoy the colour and drama of India's festive pageantry
Chennai Dance & Music Festival , Tamil Nadu
Chennai Music and Dance Festival is a celebration of classical music and dance of South India (Carnatic style) and is held from mid December to mid January at a number of venues around the city. The city comes alive with the festival which has now developed into a cultural extravaganza with more than 2,000 participants. Performances include vocal and instrumental music, dance - solo and group, both by junior and senior artistes. Even upcoming artists get a chance to perform along with well-established artists.


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Sling Clutch Pod - Pencil Stripes
Price: $50.00Availability: In Stock
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My Super Secret Middle of the Week Wish
You know what this baseball season is lacking? A good brawl. In fact, I can't remember the last time I saw a baseball brawl that really made me stand up and cheer. I mean, there are classics like Pedro taking out Don Zimmer and Jose Offerman charging the mound with a bat. But these happened years ago. Where's the good stuff these days?
I'm not saying I've lost hope. The next few days will be all about the Yankees and Red Sox renewing their rivalry and we all know there's no love lost between those two teams. Maybe Beckett throws some high heat and Melky takes exception. Or it could be Mariano throwing behind Youkilis and Big Papi comes charging out of the dugout to right that wrong. It could happen.
But most likely we'll just see some baseball. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, New York and Boston squaring off is a time-tested showdown. Once again they're one and two atop the AL East and seem to be heading for another late-season showdown.
Is it wrong, though, that I want to see the fire? I love the idea of A-Rod saying the wrong thing to Papelbon and the whole thing disintegrating into yelling, shoving and then flying fists. Maybe it's because I'm from Michigan and the only thing we have going for us there is hockey. But Papelbon and Rodriguez throwing down brings a smile to my face.
Maybe, though, it's just a natural reaction to other world events. When female Russian handballers are going at it like Tyson and Holyfield while baseball players are meekly sitting the bench when their teammates get beaned, well, you know something is a little mixed up in the world. What, you don't believe me? Well, believe this:
My money is on the blonde.
-Video via Deadspin
14 Comments
I so agree! Give me a good brawl any day. And I think any player who doesn't join in the melee should be fined!
Carlos Zambrano had a fight with a Gatorade cooler, does that count? That poor thing was beaten so badly it has to be replaced. Which makes Ryan Theriot sad.
You've got a dang good point there, we really haven't seen any brawls since like last spring training with the Rays and Yankees… haha maybe you just said the magic word and one will break out tonight.
Mariano would never throw behind Youkilis. He's too classy for that. Now that Papelbon/A-Rod scenario, well, that's a different story.
Steve T.
I would like to see Allen take me on in a brawl. I give him three seconds before he's crying, begging for mercy. I'm a ninja.
That would make for great TV and video, but I do not see the troublemaker mentality on either roster the way it was in the recent two or three years.
Sure Josh Beckett or Jonathan Papelbon could mouth off a bit, but I do not see the aggressive brawling style that was there when Johnny Damon and Kevin Millar used to "Cowboy Up."
But as a great example, the small brawl last year between the Rays and the Red Sox was basically one-sided.
the Rays got the first good licks in before they all started the disco pattern dancing among the piles.
Nothing like classic beat 'em up because we can mentalities of the 70's and 80's.
But then again, money is involved now, and fines can take a moonlight dinner away from a ballplayer now.
Maybe the fans can egg them on this week in Boston. They are good at that!
Rays Renegade
I think the problem with Yankees-Red Sox is that while the fans hate each other, some of the players are buddies. A-Rod and Oritz were hanging out in the Dominican. And look at Jeter and Pedroia/Youkilis during the WBC. So instead of brawling, they'd probably HUG. Gross.
I see you almost got your wish last night, Allen. Of course, a brawl is almost inevitable whenever noted peacemaker A.J. Pierzynski is involved. It's a given that someone, somewhere, is going to want to punch him for some reason. It's just the way he is.
Why can't we all just get along? But yeah, you're right…I miss the fights too sometimes…but no worries; I am sure Zambrano will start one soon…
Occasionally in Arlington, they show the famous Nolan Ryan/Robin Ventura brawl on the Ballpark's big screen. Seeing Ventura in a Nolan headlock getting the snot pounded out of him brings tears of joy to my eyes every time.
There has been a lack of a brawl this season. There's always at least one good brawl every season. But I really don't see Rivera throwing behind someone. He is part of the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry but he's not that kind of player.
Hmm, I can agree with that one!
Although, Cliff Lee and Carlos Gomez had
a brawl this year, sorta. But it was stopped
by Victor. To bad, I would have liked to see Cliff
pound on Carlos, haha. I bet the Red Sox and Yanks
have a good chance of having one. Maybe even my
Indians and Royals tonight, who knows?
Hmm, I can agree with that one!
Although, Cliff Lee and Carlos Gomez had
a brawl this year, sorta. But it was stopped
by Victor. To bad, I would have liked to see Cliff
pound on Carlos, haha. I bet the Red Sox and Yanks
have a good chance of having one. Maybe even my
Indians and Royals tonight, who knows?


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I knew that SkyWalker was gone sooner than later after we tried to waive him to make room for JR.
Apparently this is all over twitter.
Walker isn't even making the trip to CLE. Gadzuric will be available for the playoffs.
I think this can only mean one thing, that Jeffries' condition is worse than it looks..
Anyhow, I would have rather them waive Bibby ... I like Bill Walker a LOT and he's gonna be missed.
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
I knew that SkyWalker was gone sooner than later after we tried to waive him to make room for JR.
This was a necessary casualty. Bill is a 2/3 , who would he get minutes from: iman,jr,landry,melo,novak?
Meanwhile if tyson or amare are in foul trouble or go down, we'll need a big experienced body up front.
thanks for the memories Billy boy
Last edited by NYallDay; Apr 20, 2012 at 12:07. Reason: spelling/grammar
Yea lets trade bibby and rely on an injured davis and douglas in playoffs. Get real son. Billy walker wasnt going to get mins anyway.
playoff basketball is an inside game. the more size we can add the better. Good move
I don't expect much from DG but it was a move we needed since JJ has knee issues and Amare still an unknown.
Real Talk
WTF!? Really!? My memory of Gadzuric was that he was past time long ago in GS. Jefferies must be worse than advertised, which sucks!
It's not like we needed Walker exactly, but man, he's a damn sight better than Douglas. Who, by the way, we extended @ $2M+
Quite the fan of Bill Walker, and I'm sure that Gadzuric will be an afterthought post doing absolutely **** all for us in the playoffs.
Desperate times desperate measures, I suppose.
Always good to have guys who can give a few extra fouls I guess. Not expecting much other than that.
Guys like Evans, Martin etc. went cheap a couple of weeks ago and were up for grabs, but we insisted in keeping our roster together, only to make changes now anyway....what's the point Glen?
We could have waived Walker earlier and sign a legit backup center/forward instead of Gadzuric.....and the same goes for PG, we're left with 2 have-beens and one never-will-be. We could have traded/cut/terminated Douglas for months and sign a better backup PG like John Lucas, Walker Russel, Mike James etc.
Damn it. Sometimes our front office makes me wanna
I guess it makes sense but we could have picked up Sean Williams who could have still been playoff eligible, nonetheless we need bodies inside
Damn, I like Walker. I don't know anything about Dan Gadzuric aside from him being a bid body (which I don't know if I would have known if it wasn't for this thread, I forgot).
Hope to see you back, Bill.
Sig made by Sons of Thunder


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September 25, 2013 —
NEW YORK STATE — There are many unknowns about the law that would allow non-native American casinos to be operated in New York State if voters decide in November that the state constitution should be changed to allow it. But using what information is known, and using assumptions that they say gives the benefit of the doubt to casino supporters, the Coalition Against Gambling in New York (CAGNY) issued a report on September 23, which says that for the overwhelming majority of New Yorkers the cost of casinos will outweigh the benefits.
The highly technical 20-page report finds that one cost alone, the cost of dealing with the increase in the number of "pathological or problem gamblers" that will be spawned by the additional casinos in the state, will dramatically outweigh any benefits provided to residents.
Click here [2] for the full report.
A summary of the report reads, in part, "For just a 20% increase in gambling disorders we assume would occur under the act, we show their quantifiable socioeconomic costs (QSEC) per capita adult alone exceed those disbursements for more than 99% of adults in the state. Per annum, the Upstate New York Gaming Economic Development Act of 2013's (UNYGED) funding provision would provide about $1 per capita adult in NYS to address gambling problems projected to rise by more than $50 under the act to $296 per capita adult."
The report says that while UNYGED calls for reports and studies on the economic impact to host communities on such things as traffic, infrastructure and the local economy, it does so only after asking New Yorkers to amend the constitution, and does not call for any studies or reports on what the report labels as "quantifiable socio-economic costs," which are significant and "arise almost entirely from problem and pathological gambling."
One of the conclusions of the report is, "Without an assessment of the potential increases in quantifiable socio-economic costs, and costs for other services and infrastructure under UNYGEDA… voters aren't receiving the information they need to make an informed decision in November."
The report also says that the distribution of benefits from the casinos to communities would be widely inequitable from one place to another. For instance, in one scenario, if a casino were to be built in the Concord site in the Town of Thompson, that town would receive benefits equal to about $490 per capita adult (PCA), while the rest of the towns in the county $75 PCA, and downstate communities would receive about $20 PCA. Many residents of the Town of Fallsburg would live closer to the casino than many Thompson residents and would experience the impacts such as increased traffic.
The report asks, "if casino expansion is to be so beneficial for all residents of the state, why should those in host towns receive a state tax benefit so much greater than everyone else? As host towns, presumably their 'casino dividend' already far surpasses that for non-host towns and counties."
Like other groups, CAGNY also opposed the language of the referendum question that will appear on the ballot. It will read, "The proposed amendment to section 9 of the Constitution would allow the legislature to authorize up to seven casinos in New York State for the legislated purpose of promoting job growth, increasing aid to schools, and permitting local governments to lower property taxes through revenues generated. Shall the amendment be approved?"
The report says, "Comparing this with the straightforward language of other amendments to appear on the November ballot leaves no doubt about the level of interference from the Governor and other Albany casino supporters in the process of 'let the people decide."
Go to cagnyinf.org to read the entire report.


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For Idea laptops preloaded with Windows 8, users can create a USB recovery drive. However, when performing system reset with the USB drive after replacing HDD or deleting original partitions, the system can not make a complete recovery and an error message pops up "Unable to reset your PC. A required drive partition is missing."
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For Lenovo OneKey Recovery, if the version is older than 22.214.171.1249, it will not support recovery from USB recovery drive after you replace HDD with a new one or delete original HDD partitions. Under this situation, if you want to recovery system and install operation system to HDD, you can use Lenovo RDVD. For the information about RDVD, please contact Lenovo local service provider (Click here to find the contact information).
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text:
By Mike Linn
Tiffany Rodgers, charged with vehicular homicide in the death of a 15-year-old boy, buried her head on her sister's shoulder Tuesday, her face swollen and red with tears.
It was only 25 minutes later that Rodgers, who pleaded no contest to the February 2002 crime that left Matthew Foley dead, received District Judge Robert Brack's sentence: six months in jail, followed by 2 1/2 years of house arrest.
To Foley's family, who along with Deputy District Attorney Andrea Reeb pleaded for the three-year maximum incarceration, Brack said: If this sentence doesn't fit the crime, "let the burden fall on my shoulders.
"I can't imagine losing a child — I have three of my own — let alone finding him the way you did," Brack said.
Reports indicate Rodgers drove a vehicle that hit Foley on Roosevelt Road P at night and then drove off, leaving him for his mother and his friend to find scattered 15 feet off the road in a pool of his own blood.
"Our hearts were ripped out…" said Kristynne Cranford, Foley's sister, in her victim impact statement.
Foley's family presented three statements of how life has changed since Foley's death. It was during these statements that emotions got the best of Rodgers, who several times buried her tear-torn face in her arms.
The eight-hour, emotionally-charged hearing, also included a handful of character references on Rodgers' behalf and hours of differing accounts on how much time Rodgers had to stop or steer clear of the darkly-clothed victim on a pitch-black county road.
New Mexico State Police Sgt. Phil Sexton re-enacted the event and measured that a darkly-dressed person walking down the road at night could be perceived within 185 feet, giving Rodgers enough time to avoid the accident had she been driving the 35 mph speed limit.
Two witnesses for the defense, however, said Rodgers could only have perceived Foley within 40 and 61 feet, which would be too close for her to avoid the victim.
On the morning of the incident, Rodgers had her wisdom teeth pulled and was prescribed the pain killer tylox, and a doctor warned her of the danger of driving, according to court testimony.
Whether the pain killer impaired her driving that night or not wasn't completely delved into on Tuesday by prosecutors.
But witnesses for the prosecution did mention that Rodgers' actions in the months following the incident involved under-age drinking and going to establishments for those 21 and over. Both testimonies exhibited that Rodgers, 19 at the time, had violated conditions of her release.
Witnesses testified that Rodgers — a Lovington native and former cheerleader and student at Eastern New Mexico University — has wished to die, lost weight and removed herself from friends since the incident.
"She was in a lot of pain, lost a lot of weight, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders," said Timothy Brown, Rodgers' pastor and close friend.
Since the incident, one witness noted that Rodgers drew the cross that rests on the side of the road on Foley's behalf, then had it tattooed to her back so that Foley would be with her forever.
Brack noted that his daughter reminded him very much of Rodgers and he contemplated his sentence both as a father and judge.
In conclusion, Brack told Rodgers to follow all the rules of her sentence, something he said she didn't do during her conditions of release.
"I'm showing some mercy in my sentence and I don't want to feel like I've made a mistake," he said.


text:
My Personal Scrapbook
- Next1 of 16Glo
- Previous NextWant It!2 of 16Courtesy of Net-A-Porter
- Previous NextWant It!3 of 16Courtesy of The Conran Store
- Previous NextWant It!4 of 16Courtesy of Chanel
- Previous NextWant It!5 of 16Courtesy of Zara
- Previous NextWant It!6 of 16Courtesy of Beyond Words Publishing
- Previous NextWant It!7 of 16Courtesy of Charm and Chain
- Previous NextWant It!8 of 16Courtesy of Calypso
- Previous NextWant It!9 of 16Courtesy of Chloé
- Previous NextWant It!10 of 16Courtesy of Z Gallerie
- Previous NextWant It!11 of 16Courtesy of Bounkit
- Previous NextWant It!12 of 16Courtesy of Oliver Peoples
- Previous NextWant It!13 of 16Courtesy of Calypso
- Previous NextWant It!14 of 16Courtesy of Calypso
- Previous NextWant It!15 of 16Courtesy of NARS
- Previous Next16 of 16Glo
- My Personal ScrapbookCeleb Fashion Face-Off: Moms vs. daughters
- 10 Secrets Every Woman Needs to Know Before Online
- Unrealistic Expectations Set By Fashion Bloggers
- 10 Revolutionary Fashion Brands to Shop Now
- 8 Most Flattering Colors for Blondes
- 10 Best Street Style Outfits From Brazil
- World Cup Kicks Off a Fashion Trend
- Easy Ways To Instantly Look More Fashionable
- The Best Of Cannes Street Style 2014
- 12 Stylish Alternatives To Wearing Jeans
- Fitness Clothes You Can Wear Outside the Gym
- Shop 9 Stylish Brands That Give Back
- Elle Cover: Anna Kendrick On Her Sex Appeal
- 10 Perfect Wedding Guest Outfits Under $100
- 10 Ways To Wear Orthotic-Friendly Shoes
- 10 Summer Trends In Plus-Size Clothing
- Elle Cover: Angelina Jolie Opens Up About Brad
- Where are these top models now?
- 10 Perfect Outfits For Your Engagement Photos
STYLE_Scrapbook_Lilah_v02a1 of 16
A New Suit2 of 16
A new bikini is first on the list. I love the exotic print on this style, and I bet the purple looks great with a tan.
SHOP NOW: JETS By Jessica Allen Bikini, $123
For The Backyard3 of 16
My husband and I recently moved, and while I'm pretty much done with the house, I have a new backyard to decorate. A few of these striped deck chairs would be perfect!
SHOP NOW: The Conran Store Deck Chair, $99
Mani-Pedi Time4 of 16
I plan to try all three of this summer's hottest nail shades, especially the dove gray by Chanel.
SHOP NOW: Chanel Le Vernis Nail Colour, $23 each
The Perfect Tote5 of 16
It's officially tote season, so I'll need this luxe gold style for work and weekends.
SHOP NOW: Zara Terez Tote, $250
Beach Reading6 of 16
I've already met my match but I find astrology fascinating, so this book by holistic doctor and astrologer Dr. Craig Martin, which explains how the four elements — earth, wind, fire and water — relate to our personalities and desires, should be a great beach read.
SHOP NOW: Elemental Love Styles by Dr. Craig Martin, $11
Cuff Me7 of 16
I'm accessories-obsessed, and can't wait to add this major cuff bracelet to my jewelery collection.
SHOP NOW: Erickson Beamon Cuff, $475
The Summer Dress8 of 16
I love the feminine crochet details at the waist and neck of this airy cotton sundress.
SHOP NOW: Calypso Dress, $135
A New Scent9 of 16
Full disclosure — I already have this fragrance and I adore it!
SHOP NOW: Chloé Eau de Fleurs, $135 each
For Entertaining10 of 16
Another pretty thing for the back yard. ...
SHOP NOW: Z Gallerie's Artichoke Beverage Dispenser, $70
For Date Night11 of 16
How beautiful are the soft, smoky colors of these gemstone earrings?
SHOP NOW: Bounkit Earrings, $395
Eye Candy12 of 16
I will admit to owning many pairs of sunglasses, but these tortoise frames are too cool to pass up!
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A Sunny Top13 of 16
A rich pineapple color, plus gorgeous embroidery and beaded details, equals a chic bohemian look for me.
SHOP NOW: Yoana Baraschi Tunic, $275
For The Weekend14 of 16
The espadrille is the quintessential summer shoe. This blue and white striped style is going to be my weekend go-to.
SHOP NOW: Musegroup Espadrille, $30
Lip Service15 of 16
Lips are as vulnerable to sunburn as the rest of your face, so I want to protect mine with a lip color packing sunscreen. Plus, I don't wear a lot of makeup so these sticks would add just the right amount of color to my face.
SHOP NOW: NARS Pure Sheer SPF Lip Treatment with SPF 15, $25.
Now It's Your Turn!16 of 16
I used my Glo Scrapbook to remind me of what I want to buy this summer. What will you use yours for?


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On this day: January 29
Published On: Jan 27 2013 11:33:53 PM CST Updated On: Jan 29 2016 01:00:00 AM CST
"The Raven" is first published, baseball and football induct their first hall of fame classes, the Gulf War fighting takes to the ground, and President George W. Bush coins the phrase "Axis of Evil," all on this day.
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text:
Bit Tidding Tidbits
Put away that bottle, throw away those needles, quit workin' that corner, folks! Baseball is back! Finally, we have something to live for again…
Here is but a sampling of the goings on around the league:
Alex Rodriguez Homers in Spring Training Opener
Immediately after he hit that bomb, all controversy of A-Rod's MVP PED use and the subsequent tarnishing and questioning of his character disappeared like the hopes and dreams of Pirates fans. Well, maybe not, but one can fantasize, right?
Ryan Dempster Has Yet to Say Something Stupid
Last year during spring training, Dempster guaranteed Cub fans a World Series title. His foot-in-mouth silence at the start of this season practically guarantees another stellar regular season record, followed by a quick division series exit to the tune of 101 years. Which leads me to the fact that…
Cub Fans Still Hungover from 2008, 2007, 2003, etc.
A simple stroll through Wrigleyville these days will yield much more than the average Barleycorn date-rape and trust-fund-baby all-night-party — both of which have long been synonymous with the neighborhood. Nowadays you can still see the aftershocks of that disappointing NLDS performance against the Dodgers in the face of this guy and this guy and these guys.
Khalil Greene On Pace to Replace Ozzie Smith as Shortstop Icon
Don't look now, but after one spring training game, off-season blockbuster acquisition Khalil Greene is on pace to hit .333 this year — which is way better than his .212 average of 2008! While John Mozeliak sits back and strokes his pompous ego, we Joe Six-Pack fans are left daydreaming of that fifth-place NL Central finish.
Yankees Lend a Helping Hand: Willing to Pay Off the Country's $1.75 Trillion Deficit
Okay, this is a lie; but the Yankees unwillingness to cooperate just proves how anti-American the organization really is.
Ann Coulter Is Still Crazy
An excerpt from her February 25th blog post reads:
"But as long as the nation is obsessed with historic milestones, is no
one going to remark on what a great country it is where a mentally
retarded woman can become speaker of the house?"
Ann, sweetie-pie, remember: we had a mentally retarded man with a fancy-rich last name as president for 8 years. Let us have our speaker and please stop talking.
Indians Fans and Cub Fans Breathe Collective Sigh of Relief
Joe Borowski, possibly the all-time scariest closer for all the wrong reasons, officially announced his retirement. There are parties in the street. Check 'em out.
Tigers Fans Better Off Watching Hockey
After my esteemed colleague and Tigers apologist Allen Krause wrote his annual lament on the sad state of his team, one clever commenter riffed:
"When the tigers crush your soul as they inevitably will, just remember to look on the brightside, we still have the Red Wings."
Enough said. Thanks, D.K.
No One Cares About Blagojevich Anymore
Or Roland Burris… or Dick Durbin strong-arming Burris to get out of town… or the poor economy… or world hunger… or the climactic dictatorship of one Hugo Chavez… dude, who cares? There's baseball to watch!
And at last…
The MLB Network Is Seriously Affecting My Loyalty to American Idol
I apologize to all my supporters, for it is true: in my living room, the MLB Network has temporarily taken the place of American Idol. Two weeks have gone by and I haven't watched a single A.I. episode. I know, I know. This situation is difficult to accept for all. But believe me when I say it hurts me more than it hurts you. For some reason, Barry Larkin's nonsensical ramblings and Al Leiter's delusions of grandeur are just way more entertaining than Ryan Seacrest's hair and Simon Cowell's cliche Britishness.
Don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.
19 Comments
Yep, ARod's home run means he has been clean ever since Texas. 🙂
I totally forgot to watch AI yesterday too…my kids are going to quiz me on it when I get home and I am so going to fail!
Jeffy – maybe instead of saving the country the Yankees should use their money to hire A-Rod a driver. Just a thought.
If someone mentally retarded calls someone mentally retarded, is it void?
I think Ann meant to say "a mentally-retarded woman can become the governor of Alaska".
Joe Borowski's retirement makes me sad. He and Javier Vazquez were my favorite pitchers in the AL Central. Oh well, at least I still have Kyle Farnsworth.
Jeff I have to agree on the MLB network, I recently discovered I pick up that channel along with Discovery Health. So now while im not yelling at the TV during MSU basketball games I can flip to and fro between two equally painful pieces of programming: Joe Magrane filling me in on how it is that a baseball diamond is actually a square, just slightly tilted (I think it has something to do with geology… or is that geometry.. ah well) and an orthopedic surgeon putting screws in someones femur… as I said, equally painful.
Joe — What else could it mean?
Jenn — I would fail as well. Why do we care so much? LOL.
Brian — It should be.
Erin — Ah yes, Farnsy… the scrub of the scrubs. How did he get a 2 year deal?
DK — Joe Magrane just screams "geology".
Oh, and Julia, by "driver" you mean the golf club, right?
I'm still shaking my head over the Ann Coulter line, although I shouldn't be surprised at this point. If she were a ballplayer, I would yell, "BOOOOOOOOOO."
Spoken like a TRUE Yankee fan, Jane. Thank you for your support🙂
It's pretty much Spring Training on AI right now. Obviously I watch it all but with the knowledge that the meaningful stuff hasn't startd yet.
Ah, yes. Ann Coulter. I can't think of a more valid candidate for…wait, can I say "************" on this site?
Apparently not.
Shame on you for not watching American Idol! haha I am pretty sure American Idol has conspired to make sure Clemson basketball fans can not watch a single singing episode because they are all on the nights we have basketball games. They even moved one to a game night (Wednesday)! Yeah I was pretty thrilled that Borowski retired. And I agree Tigers fans are much better off watching hockey.
In case I don't have enough reasons to make fun of Cubs fans when they start to irritate the crap out of me, I really need Dempster to say something stupid. I can never have enough material in my arsenal. 🙂
I have found that the new American Idol format has jettisoned some good singers because of stupid song choice. Guess that is their idea of staggering changes that will make it popular again…………….Not.
I love the comment about Ryan Dempster. He sure can make even Jim Rohm sometimes look like a genius. At least he doesn't scream at the ball like Grant Balfour.
Rays Renegade
Russell — You make a good point… but it also makes me feel like a Dodgers fan, y'know, don't show up to the game until the third or fourth inning. No good.
Chris — I know what you're saying and I agree🙂
Melissa — Being an Indian fan, I know you were partying after hearing the news of blow-the-game-Joe.
Jen — It won't be long. He'll say something stupid soon. I'm sure of it.
RR — For a second there, I thought you were referencing Ed Belfour (old 'Hawks goalie from yesteryear) and I was totally confused but now I hear ya. And yeah, AI kind of lets the singers choose the song… that's part of the game, right? Happy Friday!


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Educator Licensure
Previous Educator Qualifications
The ISBE Educator Licensure Division has released information regarding adding subject qualifications for Illinois teachers who have met previous assignment requirements in the past but do not meet current endorsement requirements for specified subjects. A teacher who has met previous requirements for a subject at a time when the requirements were in effect is still qualified and may be assigned to that subject. Regional Offices of Education have the ability to enter these "past qualifications" on TCIS. Please note: this is a voluntary service that Regional Offices of Education may offer. Please see the following for more specific information: