text:
|Heavy Harry
"I'll finish securing this rope and be right with you" Harry smiles cheerfully.
Harry puts the gag back in, then moments later thrusts the dagger deep up and under the ribs. All the better to look into the Justices eye.
Coup de grace 2d4 + 3d6 + 14 + 10 ⇒ (4, 2) + (1, 2, 6) + 14 + 10 = 39 DC Fort Save, 29 Damage or dead.
"You lot have killed too many innocents to be given an offer of freedom, so now it's on me to do what must be done to make sure you don't get another go."
Harry then walks outside.
|Karlan Bladetwist
|Heavy Harry
I was actually hoping you'd open with 'Karlan expresses surprise that Harry comes out by himself all covered in blood - where is the Prisoner? he exclaims', so let me do it for you... :p
Harry comes forward all covered in blood...
"There's been an accident!"
"I went to check his bonds and tie him again to move him onward when a terrible glow came about his eyes and he started a devilish chant, all of a sudden he was wrestling me in my mind, but I felt my mind wandering like the ghosts did from that House, and knew I was about to turn me blade on meself, so I tried hitting the man to try disrupt his incantation... but I was holding my knife...I was set on cutting the old bonds when I had the new ones all firm...he's in a real bad way Sir Karlan, a real bad way, Celestra we will need your healing skills quickly!"
Harry looks a little vague and maybe in shock.
Bluff 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (19) + 9 = 28
|Celestra Zomesco
"Oh Miss Zomesco that call outside sounded like Sir Karlan, reckon you could be so obliging as to step out and give him a hand? Probably needs more rope. I'll just make sure the good Justice here is ready to move shortly..."
"Certainly, Handsome! I'm always happy to help whenever possible."
Celestra walks out to see what Karlan needs.
"What can I do for you, Karlan, Handsome said that you could use a hand.
"Celestra we will need your healing skills quickly!" Harry looks a little vague and maybe in shock.
Sense Motive 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19
"Dear Cayden, what happened? I hope this isn't some evil curse we brought from the Misgivings? Do you need healing Handsome? What can I do?"
|Ailetha Aurcalam
Having watched the events in the sawmill while making sure that the good cleric and paladin did not return: Yeh, it was unreal. I was speechless when I saw Harry struggling with something. I was about to blind them both and call for help. Then it was over in a flash, or a slash. Unfortunately I do not think that there is much that Cayden or Iomedae could do to help the High Justice at this point. Not that I think either good god would want to help him considering the vile deeds he committed.
Bluff(aid another): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (4) + 12 = 16
|Karlan Bladetwist
|Ailetha Aurcalam
|Heavy Harry
"Alright here Sir Karlan, carefull though Ms Aurcalam might be right, they might still have some accomplices hiding out. I'll fetch Thumper for another clearance of the place"
Harry gives the place a thorough search, Thumper by his side with his fine sense of smell...
Survival 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28 + Scent
Perception 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28 + Darkvision
|Perdition Banderflash
|Celestra Zomesco
"Unfortunately I do not think that there is much that Cayden or Iomedae could do to help the High Justice at this point. Not that I think either good god would want to help him considering the vile deeds he committed."
"What you say is quite true. Iomedae would hold him to the justice he deserves, Cayden Cailean would figure that he would not be fun to have at a party and simply not invite him, but Sarenrae, she is rather unique. She would forgive him if he truly showed some remorse. You know, my father was a priest of the Dawnflower, and himself would have given this man the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I have a little bit of him still in me, but I must still be careful. Considering all of the vicious, brutal creeps we have encountered, I am lucky to be alive!"
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes
There was a moment of shock as Ailetha had opened to the justice what the stars were about and he was just about to curse you, Xanesha or his fate when Harry finished him.
Thumper quickly races through the mill (at least once he is brought up the ladder) and after two minutes you are sure that the place is now free of cultists.
However, you still find some of their treasures, since they weren't very cautious and surely didn't expect someone to storm their hideout.
Their possessions consist of:
12 Masterwork War Razors
12 Leather Armours
15 Skinsaw Masks
1 Magical Mask (possessed by the High Justice)
1 Magical War Razor (possessed by the High Justice)
1 Magic Wand (possessed by the High Justice)
2 Magic Potions
a beautiful crystal decanter set with an obsidian stopper
a tiny wooden box containing three poorly cut diamonds
an array of sea charts
a painting of a strange city built entirely of ice
A wizard's spellbook containing all cantrips, Blink, Cat's Grace, Chill Touch,Enlarge Person, Fox's Cunning, Grease, Haste, Lightning Bolt, Mage Armor, Magic Missile, Scorching Ray, Shocking Grasp, Shrink Item, Spider Climb, and Web
A filigreed and illustrated book titled The Syrpent's Tane: Faery Tales of the Eldest
A slim volume that served as both ledger and journal for Justice Ironbriar
480 Gold Coins
You also find a rookery right under the roof where five tame messenger ravens are kept.
|Celestra Zomesco
"Look at all of these interesting items. The sea charts and the books look wonderful, but I can't see what use the masks will serve. Hmm? I know a good use for that crystal decanter."
"Now for some nice wine so we can toast the good Cayden Cailean!"
If the decanter is empty, Celestra will cast Create Water (Wine) and fill it with a beautiful rose red wine. She then starts pouring the wine into the glasses and hands them out to her friends. "Let us toast to our success and to Cayden Cailean, that we may always celebrate the wonderful energy he brings to this great adventure!"
After toasting and partaking of a few sips of wine, Celestra casts Detect Magic to look at the magical spectrum and see the auras these items give off, hoping to determine the properties of the magical items found.
Spellcraft Magical Mask 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (14) + 10 = 24
Spellcraft Magical War Razor 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 27
Spellcraft Magical Magic Wand 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14
Spellcraft MagicalPotion 1 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (1) + 10 = 11
Spellcraft Magical Potion 21d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25
Spellcraft Magical Other (if needed) 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14
|Ailetha Aurcalam
Spellcraft for anything Celestra missed on:
Spellcraft(potion): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (4) + 13 = 17
Spellcraft(wand): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (16) + 13 = 29
Knowledge(geography): 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (14) + 9 = 23 <-- Do I know anything about the maps.
|Heavy Harry
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes
Magic Revealed:
War Razor +2
Reaper's Mask
Wand of Cure light wounds (12)
Barkskin Potion
Potion of Cure Light Wounds
The sea charts depict the Lost Coast area from Magnimar to Riddleport and the Varisian Gulf. The maps are very detailed and show the locations of every notable reef.
|Heavy Harry
A good haul indeed!
"With these men all captured, I suppose its back to Magnimar to turn them over to the authorities. Need to let the shapeshifters free as well, deal being a deal and all."
"Once that is done, it's off to find this next layer of Evil to depose"
OK back and sell? I presume the wand and potions need keeping, a lot of the trashloot can be flogged off. The books might be worth a bit, any of our casties need?
|Celestra Zomesco
I am curious. Do any of you ever join Celestra in her toasts, or is she completely on her own in these cases?
|Heavy Harry
Harry has usually just finished being an axe wielding homicidal maniac just moments before the toast... perhaps if he weren't possibly moments away from hacking up another person with his axe he'd be up for it... like in a tavern. maybe not while he's 'on the job'... hes a professional an all :p
Harry also feels bad because although he's of the opinion that Judge got what he was owed, he knows Celestra and Karlan would not approve, so he's just had to tell a great big dirty lie to his friends to not only smooth over what happened, but to also avoid putting them into moral conundrums. Point blank being a big dirty fibber and then having the gall to slug back an ale in celebration would just be a bit much for a man as 'principled' as Harry...
|Celestra Zomesco
Fair enough!
"I always thought a mask would be a interesting decoration to add character to the walls of a pub, but in this case, I don't think this is what I had in mind. I suppose selling it would be more valuable to us. Perhaps the decanter would be a good thing to put in my tavern some day. It is always fun to be able to share with patrons a story of adventure that goes with the goblet they are drinking from. Hmm? What shall I say? This glass you drink from comes from the lair of a secret evil brotherhood dedicated to a mysterious deity of murder. Once we vanquished all of them, we stole their decanter. Well, perhaps steal is not the right word. We procured this lovely crystal set. Yes, that would make for an interesting tale."
|Heavy Harry
"Keep the decanter then, you'd get a fair use out of it with your Cayden habits. The mask I agree should be gotten rid of, a lot like that other horrible one, but even I take pause at the sort of person who might be keen on getting such items, morbid bloody things they are, and filled with magic black as pitch. Maybe a collector or magical academic might find use from them."
|Ailetha Aurcalam
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes
|Heavy Harry
hand in bad guys, release slightly less bad guys as promised, sell loot :p
"If we can find someone reputable to take the masks for coin then so be it. Otherwise they go on a pyre"
|Karlan Bladetwist
Same, we can't sell the mask but we can turn it in as evidence against the judge as it was technically his property. Then I think it would be best if we retired for the night and made sure our inn was secure before tackling the next bit of evil in the morning. After a shopping trip. I keep thinking about the lasts books climax and how rough it got at times. I'm also thinking that this book took the gloves off and we're nearing the end. Pardon me if I want to go into this next bit as well prepared as possible. Hell if I were playing any other character I'd suggest arson followed by arrow volleys on the survivors from the rooftops. Preferably with the entirety of the Magnimar city watch at our backs. As for toats I won't say Karlan never drinks. Let's just say he hardly feels like it's an appropriate time to toast. NEver mind what the faithful of Cayden do.:P
"Just turn it over to the guard as evidence. IF they wish it destroyed then so be it. We need all the evidence we cna get HArry otherwise it just looks like you stabbed a tied up man in cold blood after we beat him up. I don't trust his minions to be particularly truthful."
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes
|Celestra Zomesco
"Do with it what you will, my friends. I certainly have no plans to hang it in my pub! However, if you are able to earn any coin for any of these items, then I could sure use it to try and improve my gear!"
Celestra is happy to let the others sell the loot. She will help as needed, but if she is not needed, then she is happy to return to the inn, have a few drinks and try out her new flute.
|Heavy Harry
OK so the order is: Hand in bad guys, release informants, sell loot.
Looking at the Justice journal/records, is there any incriminating evidence? Similarly with the other books and painting, lets check that detailed stuff BEFORE selling
|Perdition Banderflash
I would be up for the wand. Too bad I don't get spells from a book. Pretty nice set of spells to find. Perdition on the other hand is a gnome and will be more than willing to join his friend in a drink. Just one more new experience, lol. Let me know if I need to make any skill checks?
"Celestra, my dear, I toast you and your lord. Without your lovely gifts we would not be bearly as successful in these little adventures of ours! Now. Should I torch this place and the bodies or just the place?"
|Ailetha Aurcalam
|Karlan Bladetwist
|Celestra Zomesco
"Celestra, my dear, I toast you and your lord. Without your lovely gifts we would not be bearly as successful in these little adventures of ours! Now. Should I torch this place and the bodies or just the place?"
"Splendid, Perdy! That's what I like to hear, but must we threaten to burn every place we come to? Perhaps I should get some flaming brandy for you to drink."
|Perdition Banderflash
|Ailetha Aurcalam
I listen as Celestra once again chastises the gnome. Then I turn to Karlan and Harry: I wonder whether the little fire bug has any notion of just how explosive sawdust is. It can pack a much bigger bang than oil and most fuel if lit properly, or in Perditions case, improperly. If he is going to torch this den of evil, I think we might want to move well back before he starts.
Knowledge(stupid things gnomes do): 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (3) + 9 = 12
|Perdition Banderflash
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes
If no one else, at least Karlan remembers that the sawmill is still a working sawmill and blasting it could be a heavy blow for the city's economy.
So fire or not, that's the question here.
The justice's ledger is full of papers related to his most recent cases, nothing of it hints at his secret second identity.
The paintings are unknown to you, you will need to find an expert on art to find out more...if there is more to be found out.
|Ailetha Aurcalam
I understand your interest in causing the spontaneous combustion of most every thing Perdition, but, isn't this a major employer of people in the city. I think that burning it might not be the best idea at present. I am sure that we will find something for our firebug to torch before long. I know that Cayden is a big fan of hot parties.
Knowledge(history): 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (19) + 9 = 28 <-- do I know anything about the paintings.
Knowloedg(local): 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (1) + 9 = 10 <-- or a good honest expert?
|Karlan Bladetwist
|Heavy Harry
"Were we on the high seas no doubt the Captain would order you to burn the enemy's structure or ship down to the waterline. Unfortunately in this case some restraint is needed, for this place is still crewed by people who feed their families with honest trade"
Harry looks as though he is a bit mixed, and that a big bonfire would be half welcome.
"Tell you what Perdition, sure as I was happy to sink my axe into earlier foes, I will keep in mind that you need a satisfying bonfire in reparation for the harms done by these evil bastards, and we will find a bit of tinder for your spark and send them a preview of the Hells they are destined for... just not today"
Noted on the ledger, and same on the painting, just wanted to be sure we thought to ask BEFORE getting rid of some important plot device or something equally embarrasing.
|Celestra Zomesco
"Perdy, I know you really like fires, but for the sake of the workers and the people who live nearby, let's save the mill to be used by the people and hard working carpenters of this town! Perhaps when we get back to the Revive, Bobo will let you stoke the fire!"
|Berry Peelyblossom
"Perdy, I know you really like fires, but for the sake of the workers and the people who live nearby, let's save the mill to be used by the people and hard working carpenters of this town! Perhaps when we get back to the Revive, Bobo will let you stoke the fire!"
No he won't. Berry would kill the both of them. Slowly. Over the course of many experiments.
|Heavy Harry
Harry blinks for a while.
Once he is sure he is in the right reality, he makes sure the prisoners are handed over to the authorities.
"A fair bit of this booty to sell off, shall be a bit of a long day"
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes
Slowly the dimensional rift closes again...
@ Ailetha:
You hardly remember it, but you once heard/read something about a ciy of gold high in the mountains of Varisia. When the sun fell on its golden roofs the light was reflected like it had hit an iceberg. And because the people in the surrounding valleys couldn't believe a city of gold existed high on a mountaintop they thought it must have been made of ice.
What happens to the bodies?
|Heavy Harry
|Celestra Zomesco
Forgive my last post, my friends! It was approaching midnight and I had just come in from teaching my dance class and I was apparently way way out of it! I remember that I was nodding my head as I was finishing my last post. However, when I read it this morning I cringed. Normally I am much better at keeping my campaigns straight.
"Well, Harry, shall we take these masked villains back to Magnimar to the authorities. You don't think we could get into any trouble with the fact that the High Justice died while in our hands? I know that he had clearly fallen from the grace of his position, but there was nobody else around to verify that. I just hope they all believe us! I know we are not in Sandpoint anymore."
|Heavy Harry
"He died fair and square castoing foul magics and died as a result. Nothing more or less, and no one is in a position to say different. That being said, perhaps it is for the best if the fine and upstanding Sir Karlan does the turning in, the man is well beyond reproach and his bearing unquestionable. Perhaps there's some wisdom in your words that...some of us...might not be extended the fullness of the benefit of any doubt. I shall instead see to the sale of our goods"
|Perdition Banderflash
"Murdered by the cultist I'd say.", the gnome comments with a tinge of disappointment at the lack of scorching things, then perking up,"At least I did get to burn a couple of cultist a good day indeed!" Looking at the body of the justice he says, "Or we could not identify the body due to extensive burns......Eppp, nevermind. I already know Karlan will complain about that one. Paladins....Never love to learn anything new. Like what a skinless elf face looks like."
|Heavy Harry
|Karlan Bladetwist
|Perdition Banderflash
|DM Zyren/ Heart of Runes


text:
Brewers outright Morgan to minors
Morgan slumped to .239 this year
Published On: Nov 02 2012 08:07:51 AM CDT
The Milwaukee Brewers have outrighted outfielder Nyjer Morgan to Triple-A Nashville.
Morgan hit .304 while helping Milwaukee win the NL Central in 2011, but slumped to .239 this year and the Brewers failed to make the playoffs. He is a .280 career hitter over six seasons with Pittsburgh, Washington and Milwaukee.
Milwaukee also announced Thursday that right-hander Jose Veras declined his assignment to Nashville and decided to become a free agent. Veras was 5-4 with a save and a 3.63 ERA in 72 appearances for the Brewers this season.
Copyright 2012 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

subset: commoncrawl


text: A new year is always a time for new commitments and new goals. And this year I' m trying to get healthier! Here are my 5 small steps I'm taking to try to get healthier this year -- what are yours? (let us know below and you can win a $1,000 gift card to help you achieve YOUR goals for 2013) 1. I joined a gym. I have been saying I would do it for years. And I finally did!! My goal is to go … [Read more...]


text:
How to Cook a Honey-Glazed Ham
Once you learn how to cook a honey-baked ham in your own kitchen you'll find it's just as easy to make one at home as it is to make the trip to a specialty store for a pre-sliced ham with a packet of glaze. What's more, you'll find the homemade version is considerably less expensive. Buy a pre-sliced ham at your local grocery store or supermarket. Then all you need to do is heat it through and bathe it in a quick, easy homemade honey-mustard glaze. Almost anything you make yourself tastes better than its store-bought counterpart, and saving a little money makes it all the sweeter. Baked ham often gets pigeonholed as the main course for winter holiday meals, but it's an excellent choice for summer picnics, too. Serve it up with a pot of baked beans and a bowl of potato salad and you have picnic spread everyone will love.
Hey everyone, I'm Judith with recipe.com. If you're looking for an easy way to jazz up your ham and impress your friends then I've got the recipe for you because today we're making a brown sugar honey-glazed ham. Doesn't that sound delicious? So what you'll need is 1 cup of Dijon mustard, half a cup of honey, a quarter cup of brown sugar, some olive oil for the pan, 3 tablespoons of minced garlic, 1 tablespoon of cider vinegar, and 1 tablespoon of ground pepper, and right here, we have a 6-pound cooked spiral cut ham. Now, we've let our ham stand in room temperature for about an hour so it's nice not too cold. So, first of all what we're gonna do is get our baking dish and we're gonna lightly drizzle that with some olive oil so we'll get our bun nice and moist for our ham. So once that stand, we're gonna place our ham flat-side down into the pan and we can just set that aside for a few moments. Okay next, let's whisk up a glaze to put on top of our ham. Now a lot of the time the hams actually come with the glaze. Our ham came with the glaze that was already pre-prepared and it's always better to do a home-made glaze I filled. So, what we're gonna do is gonna put our-- the rest of our ingredients, the Dijon mustard, the honey and who doesn't love honey mustard with ham really, really good and it's great to have a bit of that sweetness with ham because the ham is very, very salty so it's nice to just compliment it with that hint of sweetness. Our brown sugar goes in there, our garlic, our cider vinegar, and our black pepper and so we're just gonna give that a good stir/whisk all of that together and then emulsify it together and that is gonna be a beautiful sweet smelling glaze. Okay, so we're gonna set aside our glaze because that is gonna be going on top of our ham a little bit later. Now, we've preheated our oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit so our ham now is ready to go in there for one and a half hours then we're gonna to take it out and we're gonna glaze it with this lovely creation we've just made. Well, it's been about an hour and a half and we've removed our ham from the oven looking really beautiful and colorful right there so now it's time to pour on a glaze, which we prepared earlier. I've taken about 1 cup and put it on the side there because we can serve that with the ham a little bit later. So now, we can put that lovely brown sugar honey-glazed and just pour it all over there. Make sure we get in all the-- on all sides. You can use a basting brush after if you wanna cover all. Oh no-- I mean just look at that. That looks amazing. Your friends are gonna love you after that one and we'll just baste so we'll just cover all of our ham. Looking good, looking good so that is gonna back in the oven now for another 20 minutes. Well, it's about 20 minutes. We've removed our ham from the oven and that is just looking spectacular, smells spectacular and it's ready now to serve up. Now obviously, our glaze was much better than any store-bought glaze. That is your brown sugar honey-glazed ham. Well, thanks for watching everyone. For more great recipes and savings, go to recipe.com.
What You'll Need
- Olive oil, for pan
- 1 6 - 8 pound fully cooked spiral-cut bone-in ham
- 1 cup Dijon mustard
- 1/2 cup honey
- 1/4 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
- 3 tablespoons minced garlic
- 1 tablespoon freshly ground pepper
- 1 tablespoon cider vinegar
Step By Step
Lightly oil a shallow baking pan. Place ham, cut side down, in pan and let stand at room temperature 1 hour.
Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degree F and arrange rack in center. Whisk together remaining ingredients in a bowl. Transfer 1 cup of mixture to a serving bowl, cover and reserve, for sauce. Cover and set aside remaining mixture, for glaze.
Bake ham 1-1/2 hours. Pour glaze over ham, covering completely. Continue to bake until golden brown (and an instant-read thermometer inserted in center by 2 inches, without touching bone, registers 140 degree F), 15 to 20 minutes. Remove from oven and let stand 10 minutes before carving. Serve ham with sauce on the side. Makes 8 servings.
Lean ham is high in protein and in this recipe, for example, one serving is only 225 calories.
Knowing how to cook a honey-baked ham at home saves you money and time. And just think of all the things you can do with leftover ham. Fry up ham slices with eggs for a hearty country breakfast. Cut the ham in chunks and add it to soups and baked beans. Mix leftover ham with potatoes and cheese in casseroles. And always save the bone to make a stock for pea soup, bean soup, cabbage soup, minestrone or even traditional hambone soup.
nutrition information
Per Serving: cal. (kcal) 225, Fat, total (g) 5.5, chol. (mg) 45, sat. fat (g) 2.5, carb. (g) 21, fiber (g) 0, pro. (g) 18, sodium (mg) 1567, Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet


text:
Espionage! Skullduggery! Shooting people in the face with silenced pistols! Modern spy movies have given us a very specific picture of what an agent's job should involve. And while we all know that James Bond is a silly exaggeration, the Cold War featured some real spies whose adventures were only slightly less insane.
But real spycraft has changed massively since the Cold War. To find out just how much, Cracked got in touch with a civilian spy who worked with the Defense Department in Afghanistan. He assured us that ...
5Secret Identities Are Meaningless
Chad Baker/Photodisc/Getty Images
One of the most unrealistic things about James Bond -- that he goes around using his real name and showing his real face -- is actually the most accurate. The spy we spoke to spent years going in and out of Afghanistan, perfecting something he called "real name in plain sight." The "plain sight" part means you need a real reason to be wherever you're operating (say, running a fake charity). A fake beard and a forged ID don't go as far as they used to.
Paul Tearle/Stockbyte/Getty Images
In the '50s, this was as good as a passport.
This makes perfect sense, when you think about it -- every spot worth protecting features layers of technology that would make Ethan Hunt-style disguises pointless to the point of being laughable. Biometrics has done to clandestine tradecraft what the Internet did to newspapers -- spies today have to contend with iris scanners and facial recognition technology at airports and embassies.
But, fine, say you do come up with a disguise so sophisticated that it even fools scanners intended to look for your specific bone structure. You've now convinced the customs agent that you're really Chad Notaspy of TotallyRussian Boulevard, Moscow. The problem is that your cover will last right up until somebody on the other side opens up their Web browser.
"I'm allergic to social media. One 'Like' and I go into anaphylactic shock."
Yeah, Google and Facebook have also done their part to make Cold War-era tradecraft useless -- people today store every achievement of their life online. Imagine if you met some guy with no Facebook profile, no sort of digital footprint whatsoever: That dude would stick out in your mind, and "sticking out" is the worst thing an undercover operator can do. The government will sure as hell notice if someone with no credit or purchase history pops into existence, and that's something that can be checked instantly and effortlessly.
Photos.com/PhotoObjects.net/Getty Images
In the end, Jack NightPunch was brought down by his credit score.
So yes, you have to do your spying as yourself -- you just have to convince them that espionage isn't how you make your living. So how does a full-time secret agent pull off something like that? Well ...
4"James Bond" Sits in an Embassy While NOCs Do the Work
Sean Gallup / Getty
The spy we spoke to was a contractor for the Defense Department, which made him legally no different from any other American citizen. He lived "outside the wire" in Afghanistan (there were no American soldiers with machine guns watching his ass) and worked with a team of other civilian spy freelancers. In the world of modern espionage, they are the ones who do much of the work.
AFP / Stringer / Getty
On the plus side, they get to soak in more of the local culture.
That's because, in the real world, James Bond -- that is, an actual employee of the British Crown -- would be far too valuable to risk going out in the field and getting into snowmobile chases. He'd complete all his missions from the safety of an embassy, claiming to be a mere diplomat and knowing that diplomatic immunity can keep him clean from any sins.
Just this year, the Russians caught American "diplomat" Ryan Fogle trying to recruit one of their agents. Despite being arrested with disguises, money, maps, and a knife -- only slightly less damning than a CIA tramp stamp -- Fogle wasn't tortured or thrown in jail or even flown to Vladimir Putin's secret volcano lair for a monologue.
AP Photo/FSB Public Relations Center
"It's a black-tie lair, and my suit was at the cleaners."
Instead, Fogle was "asked to leave" and then gently shown the door. Like almost every spy in the employ of a modern government, Fogle had diplomatic immunity. The game has changed since the day when Her Majesty's Secret Service sent Christopher Lee out to stab people. Today, agents of the SIS (the real-life counterpart of Bond's MI6) are too valuable to risk.
So who is actually out in the field doing the dirty work? That would be the NOCs -- non-official cover workers, agents who exist in a nebulous position in which they work for a private company in a foreign country, secretly gather information for the CIA, but don't have the official protections that come with being a government agent. They range from former special ops folks who want to get back in the game to doctors who realize the greater good of whacking the bad guys to cyberpunk kids looking to get a thrill. They could turn up in any job -- they might run a bar and exchange free beer for information, for example.
Shah Marai / AFP / Getty
"Beard barber" isn't a great cover, but almost anything else could work.
Without NOCs, the modern CIA wouldn't be able to do things like infiltrate terror cells or hire double agents. Foreign governments are well aware that the embassies are full of spies, which is why Fogle got his ass caught the instant he tried something. NOCs don't have any protection, but that same lack of government connection makes them much harder to spot.
This guy sorta stands out.
And if you think it's weird that espionage has been outsourced to civilians, well, you don't know the half of it ...


text: MTV and its stars rock #SpiritDay MTV has been one of the biggest supporters of Spirit Day this year, spreading the message of tolerance. The network and tons of its top musical and entertainment icons have gone purple in a show of solidarity with its young LGBT fans, letting them know that they are not alone. Issues: Entertainment, Music, Television, News, Spirit Day, Young Adult


text:
"The Bachelorette" Week 1 Recap
The season premiere of "The Bachelorette" was everything we hoped for and MORE. All of the guys were extremely handsome and they all had a lot going for them as well (Des, I think all of the girls in America are envious of you)! They were witty and smart and kept us on our toes (the guys always make the show, and this group is AWESOME). I have some favorites so far so I'll get right into them.
I like Drew A LOT. Not only is he good looking but he also seems like a genuine guy. I think Robert looks exactly like Liam Hemswortth (one word-HOT). I couldn't stop staring at him, I kept being like, OK, yes show more of him...oh wait, go back to Robert please haha! I like Chris too, he is cute and his shyness was beyond sweet. Brian is smoking too and living 20 minutes away from my hometown is icing on the cake (but I don't know how I felt about that sports jacket even though Des liked it. Keep it simple Brian!). I really liked Brooks too (even though I don't like long hair, he was mysterious and sexy). I liked Ben BUT I mean come on, who brings their kid?! That's just wrong. He seems like a decent guy but there's something about him that's slimy (yes, I just used the word slimy…who uses that these days, I know, I know it's 2013). Speaking of slimy (OK, I used it again...I promise to think of a different word next time), Jonathan was a loser with a capitol L and has a lot of ba**s (I don't know if I can actually say that…), asking Des to come to the Fantasy Suite over AND over again…omg it made me want to VOM.
Good for her for getting rid of him right away! I did felt bad for the magician guy at the end (he really poured his heart out) but doing all those tricks was a little too cheesy for me (come on ladies, anyone like magicians out there?). And why did Des keep the hash tag guy…ugh! Seriously, did anyone like him? I hope she cuts him next, come on Des, really? (#whatwereyouthinking #ifhesaysthatonemoretimeimayscream?!)
All of the guys had really cute intros out of the limo (some were a little corny of course, but overall the guys were the two c's we are always looking for, cute and clever). This is the first time that all of the guys seemed super nervous though. I liked that because it showed how real this show really is. I think we can compare the group of guys to Emily's…quality, good looking men (a round of applause to the producers for picking some winners).
I think Des is going to make a really amazing bachelorette. She has a big heart and most importantly she is REAL…AND she just seems so grateful for this opportunity. Now she did cry a little too much (come on Des, I counted four times in the first hour) but again that just showed all of us how thankful she is to be the Bachelorette.
I liked how Des gave out roses as she pleased, if she had a good conversation with one guy, she'd give them a rose. If she wasn't feeling a conversation then she would just move on. She didn't seem too nervous at all, which was a good sign. I think she feels very confident in this process and knows that it can work. I really hope Des finds her prince charming at the end of this journey.
Alright ladies and gentleman, "The Bachelorette" Monday's are BACK and after the premiere we are down to 19 lucky dudes! Will one of these guys be Des's future husband? Who do you think is a good match for Des? Make sure to follow me @laurenjwang all season long and tweet #bachelorettehi! This is going to be one heck of a season and I cannot wait for everything to come!
XoXo ~ Lauren


text:
Choose the period
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML
by Sam / 12/02/2012 at 9:05am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 3:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML
by Ashley / 12/02/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML
by Anna / 12/02/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
by :/ / 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML
by disembob / 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
by Nick / 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
- 1
- « Previous page
- Next page »


text:
But the star running back never enrolled at UCLA and instead recently asked the Pittsburgh coaching staff about returning to the Panthers. Shell is from nearby Aliquippa, Pa., and has twin daughters living in Pennsylvania. The Los Angeles Times reported that Shell changed his mind about UCLA because he thought he would be too far from his family.
However, Pitt has not provided an opportunity for Shell to return. According to a tweet from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Sam Werner, Pitt "never seriously entertained the option of Shell returning."
---The NCAA argued that documents in former USC assistant Todd McNair's defamation lawsuit against the association should remain sealed.
McNair and his attorneys want to unseal the documents that they believe show that the NCAA acted improperly during its investigation of USC that ended three years ago.
The NCAA concluded that McNair provided false information when he denied speaking to agent Lloyd Lake, who gave benefits to running back Reggie Bush while he played for the Trojans.
---A second arrest was made in the burglary of Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops' home.
Police would not release the name of the suspect because he is a minor. The arrest was reported by multiple media outlets Sunday.
Stoops' home was burglarized early Wednesday morning while the family was asleep. No one was injured, but a vehicle and several other items were stolen from the home.


text:
"I've been a podcast listener for over two years. It's really been a blessing and helped me grow from a cafeteria Catholic to a real one."
"If you should be in foreign cities, do not simply ask where is the church, but where is the Catholic Church, for this is the proper name of this holy Mother of all."


text:
Wilmington University, Middletown
651 North Broad Street
Middletown, DE 19709
Ph: (302) 378-0360
Wilmington University is a private, nonprofit university committed to offering flexible and career-oriented undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral degree programs while maintaining small class sizes, individualized attention and affordable tuition. Offering both undergraduate and graduate degree programs, the Middletown location is committed to meeting the educational needs of the Southern New Castle and Kent Counties.
Wilmington University's Middletown location is near downtown Middletown, perfect for residents in the Middletown/Odessa/Townsend - MOT area, between our New Castle and Dover locations. WilmU also offers courses 100% online.
Whether you've taken a few classes or you already hold an associate degree, Wilmington University makes the transfer process seamless, and works with you to maximize your transfer credits.
See which courses will be offered for the current or upcoming semesters.
Discover the many ways WilmU fits your life, with flexible schedules, convenient locations, and online options. Learn more.
You shouldn't have to break the bank to earn your degree and work toward a bright future.Learn more.


text:
Oscar-nominated actress Keira Knightley said she leaped at the opportunity to star in "Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit," mainly because she was dying to do a movie where she wasn't, well, dying.
"I got to the end of 'Anna Karenina' and I went, 'OK, I really need to not do anything dark for a while because the characters I've been playing for the last five years keep dying. It's been all death and destruction,'" Knightley told me with a laugh in an interview while "Jack Ryan" was still in production.
New on Blu-ray and DVD (Paramount Home Media Distribution) Tuesday, "Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit" is an origins film based on the Tom Clancy's iconic spy, Jack Ryan -- who in his early career as a CIA analyst, is sent to Russia to thwart a terrorist attack that will cripple the U.S. economy. Chris Pine ("Star Trek") stars as Jack, while Knightley plays Dr. Cathy Muller, Ryan's future wife who's completely in the dark about her husband's spy mission.
Kevin Costner also stars as Ryan's boss, Thomas Harper, and Kenneth Branagh -- in addition to directing the film -- stars as Victor Cherevin, the mastermind behind the plot.
Knightley said the main reason she signed on to "Jack Ryan" was for her chance to work with actor-director Branagh, the Oscar-nominated actor-filmmaker whose career as a director has included mysteries ("Dead Again," "Sleuth"), horror ("Mary Shelly's Frankenstein") and superhero action adventure ("Thor") films. But it was Branagh's Shakespeare film adaptations that influenced Knightley the most.
"'Much Ado About Nothing,' 'Henry V,' and 'Hamlet' were such massive parts of why I wanted to be an actress," said Knightley, 29. "I wore out my VHS copy of 'Much Ado About Nothing' because I watched it so many times, so actually getting to work with him as an actor and director is amazing. It's fascinating watching him do his actor-director bit. One minute you're playing a scene with him, then all of a sudden he's running around the camera directing. It's really interesting watching him snap back-and-forth and watching him work. It's been a privilege."
Knightley believes Branagh was the perfect hire for "Jack Ryan" because of the way he has time and again realized his vision to make a film complete.
"'Jack Ryan' is a thriller, and thrillers are pieces of work that aren't being made very much because they're really difficult to make," Knightley said. "They require storytellers, and there are very few storytellers, really, and Ken is definitely one of them."
Look for Knightley next month in the music-themed dramedy "Begin Again," formerly titled, "Can a Song Save Your Life?" Like "Jack Ryan," Knightley embraced the role because of a change of pace from the more dramatic fare she's used to doing. The film also stars Mark Ruffalo, Hailee Steinfeld, Catherine Keener and singer Adam Levine.
"It's a lovely film about friendship and making an album," Knightley said. "It's very positive."
Tim Lammers is a nationally syndicated movie journalist and the author of the ebook Direct Conversations: The Animated Films of Tim Burton (Foreword by Tim Burton).


text: Choose a Category to Explore Since the Spring of 2010, I have been working with students in a large urban high urban school in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada to create designs that benefit ecological and human system. These are some of my thoughts. You Might Also Like: Media Coverage About The Author


text:
Raising your kids the French way
- Next1 of 11The Red Balloon: Lopert/Photofest
- Previous Next2 of 11Ponette: Arrow Releasing/Photofest
- Previous Next3 of 11Mon Oncle: Continental Motion Pictures/Photofest
- Previous Next4 of 11Être et Avoir: New Yorker/Photofest
- Previous Next5 of 11Au Revoir, Les Enfants: Orion Classics/Photofest
- Previous Next6 of 11Ponette: Arrow Releasing/Photofest
- Previous Next7 of 11The Red Balloon: Lopert/Photofest
- Previous Next8 of 11Innocence: Mars Distribution/Photofest
- Previous Next9 of 11La Vie En Rose: Picturehouse Entertainment/Photofest
- Previous Next10 of 11Au Revoir, Les Enfants: Orion Classics/Photofest
- Previous Next11 of 11Préparez Vos Mouchoirs: New Line/Photofest
- Raising your kids the French way5 Zodiac Signs That Party Hard
- Find out why some signs will never be BFFs
- Hollywood Hunks of Every Sign
- Yoga Poses for Every Sign
- 9 Things Men Should Never Say to a Woman
- 10 Best Beach Reads for June 2014
- Life Lessons Dads Can Teach Their Daughters
- 9 Conversations To Have Before Marriage
- 8 Things That Make Guys Feel Insecure
- 8 Proven Tips for Moving On After a Breakup
- What Your PDA-Style Says About Your Relationship
- 10 Things Guys Think When They First Meet You
- 12 Dating Rules to Break Now
- 11 Reasons to Consider Dating a Divorced Man
- What to Watch, Read & Shop in June
- 8 Things Men Learn in the First Month of Marriage
- 8 Proven Tricks to Strengthen Your Marriage
- 10 Things Men & Women Will Always Disagree On
- Fights Grown Women Have With Their Moms
French Lessons1 of 11
By Jessica Baumgardner
Like most American mothers, I worry about my parenting skills. I worry when I have to resort to bribery to compel my kids to do simple tasks—like getting dressed. I worry when I let them watch too much TV or eat too many Goldfish before dinner. So it was with real interest that I read the new book from American in Paris Pamela Druckerman, Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting. The French do everything better, from cheese plates to wearing the perfect casual sneaker. Could they also have the secret to raising kids?
No Interrupting2 of 11
French parents believe that when your child rudely interrupts you, you should calmly say, "I'm in the middle of speaking to someone. Please wait and I'll be with you in a moment." Et voila!
Obviously, no one likes being interrupted. But here's the thing: We've all tried this line. I've said it calmly and firmly and you know what happens? The kid pauses for about two seconds and interrupts me again, "But MAHMMM! I need to tell you something!"
Relax About Reading3 of 11
French schools don't push academics on preschoolers, instead focusing on teaching social skills and self-control.
If I've learned anything since becoming a mother, it's that the adults are not in control of the timeline. Want your daughter to read at four because that's what your mother-in-law claims your husband did? Nope. She will learn to read (miraculously, seemingly without help from you) when she is ready at six. Want your son to be out of his Pull-Ups by three? Think again, sister—he has other potty plans.
One Snack a Day4 of 11
French kids eat one substantial afternoon snack, called the gouter.
I'd love to live in a culture where I wasn't expected to carry saddlebags filled with crackers and apple slices. My kids whine if I don't have a buffet spread in the back of the Subaru for them to idly munch on during school pickups. But I don't think this technique would work here, unless all mothers agreed to ban on-the-go snacking; when left sans snacks, my four-year-old son Ezra begs for food from strange children and mothers, while I look like the negligent parent.
Hand Kids Over5 of 11
French kids start going on overnight school trips at the age of five, and many spend a week or two alone with relatives during school holidays.
In my daughter's kindergarten, a troop of parents "chaperoned" every field trip, even if it was just a walk down the street. While we Americans may be a bit overzealous about safety, this tip brushes over how kids feel when they are left at a young age. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger—true, but that's a tricky aphorism to parent by.
No Kid Food6 of 11
French moms don't cook their children separate meals of chicken nuggets or hot dogs.
Of course, the French are right about mealtime protocol—this is their area of expertise! According to picky eater pro Ellyn Satter, children need to be served a new food 15 to 20 times before they like it. While I do break out a box of mac and cheese on occasion, I try to follow this rule, too. I can proudly say my 6-year-old daughter ate all of her rainbow chard tonight. (Maybe because it has the word "rainbow" in it, but whatever.)
Back Off at the Playground7 of 11
French parents believe that once a child can walk on his own and safely climb up the slide, their job is to watch from the sidelines as he plays.
This might just be my inherent laziness talking, but I wholeheartedly agree. Every time I try to be a "fun" mom and play on the playground alongside my kids, my womanly hips get wedged on some intestinal curve of the spiral slide and I have to awkwardly dislodge myself.
One Curse Word's OK8 of 11
Parents allow French kiddies to say a special naughty word: caca boudin, or "poop sausage."
Everyone needs to say poop sausage from time to time. My 4-year-old runs into preschool every morning to exchange greetings with his best girlfriend, Coco: "Hi, Poop Face!" he screams, and she gleefully returns the greeting. Her parents and I shrug and move on because any attention given to the naughty nature of their language would likely lead to its increase. Now if only I could get him to stop saying the F word...
No Teepee in the Living Room9 of 11
The French don't let children's toys and games reside in common living areas.
First of all, some of those teepees on Etsy are totally chic, but I understand the motivation behind this one. If you're not vigilant, the colorful plastic detritus of childhood can overwhelm a space. I try to relegate toys to kids' rooms, but kids want to play where the people are, not alone in their rooms. That is, until they're teenagers and we cant get them to leave their rooms.
Your Bedroom Is Sacred10 of 11
A child doesn't have the right to barge into your bedroom whenever he wants.
When I was growing up, my sisters and I were terrified of going into our parents' bedroom. We knocked timidly on the closed door and waited for permission to enter, afraid we would see something adult. But, seeing as our bedroom door is made of glass and doesn't lock, my husband and I have zero privacy.
Treat Men Differently11 of 11
Frenchwomen think of their partners as "adorably hapless creatures" who are "biologically incapable" of keeping track of childcare details or doing the laundry.
Excusez moi, but this is a pile of caca boudin. If Simone de Beauvoir taught us anything, it's that France may be a bastion of style and culture, but its gender politics suck. Giving your husband a pass from being an equal partner in domestic duties because you think men are incompetent is insulting to both genders. And this is exactly what men want us to think when they accidentally-on-purpose incorrectly load the dishwasher.


text:
On this day: March 19
Published On: Mar 14 2013 01:49:34 PM CDT Updated On: Mar 19 2016 01:00:00 AM CDT
The Tuskegee Airmen are activated, Elvis buys Graceland, Bob Dylan releases his debut album, Texas Western makes college basketball history, and the invasion of Iraq begins, all on this day.
The views expressed are not those of this company or its affiliated companies. By posting your comments you agree to our Terms of Use.


text:
This years Leading with Meaning event will be held on Wednesday, October 9, 2013. Click here for the official Press Release.
We will be hearing from:
The event, held on October 24, 2012, featured top entrepreneurs and venture capitalists from Israel who have the inside scoop on Israel's economic marvel. Deemed the Silicon Valley of the Middle East, Israel, a country with scarce resources, has created a booming economy with tremendous growth in industries such as bio-tech, high tech and clean tech.
We heard from:
This event was sponsored by Avram Blumenthal in memory of his parents, Bernard and May Blumenthal z"l.
Yeshiva University
500 West 185th Street
New York, NY 10033
Yeshiva University
500 West 185th Street
New York, NY 10033
Close this window


text:
Every year, over 40 million tourists flock to New York City. If you are one of these tourists, it's inevitable that at some point a shady street vendor will try to sell you some shit. Maybe it will be something innocent, like a hand-drawn picture of Gary Coleman or a custom-made caricature of your daughter with inappropriately large breasts. But more often than not, they'll try to sell you a shady counterfeit version of some high-priced name-brand product. And when it comes to cheaply made knockoffs, nothing commands quite as much respect as the fabled $10 Rolex.
I've always been curious about exactly what a $10 version of a $10,000 item would actually look like. So, during a recent trip to New York City, I decided to seek out a fake Rolex of my own. Armed with nothing more than $70 and a lifelong dream of fooling people into thinking I'm rich by way of wearing pretend luxury items, I made my way down to Canal Street, the beating heart of the sketchy NYC street vendor universe. For added adventure, I threw on my very best "What do you mean I look like an undercover cop?" ensemble.
Sorry for the blurry image. You try taking a solid picture on a moving train.
Of course, there was no way in hell that I planned on blowing my entire budget on just one item, no matter how much of a bargain it pretended to be. So I figured I'd explore some of the other famously bootlegged items that the streets of NYC have to offer. Here's what I came back with ...
4Pirated Copies of The Grey and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo on DVD
Retail Value: Not yet available
Asking Price: $5 each
Negotiated Purchase Price: 2 for $5
Upon exiting the subway and stepping out onto Canal Street, I was immediately approached by a dude who wanted to sell me a designer handbag. I brushed off the implied insult in his offer without exploring it further and asked if he could point me to some bootleg DVDs instead. Without a second of hesitation, he turned to the right and yelled out "DVD lady!" in the general direction of an assembled group of women. And just like that, I was face to face with the DVD lady.
The Sales Pitch
Correction: I was apparently face to face with the woman who could take me to the DVD lady. That's her in the above picture. I'm sorry her face is somewhat obscured; blame it on my desire to not be targeted for death by whatever seedy international crime syndicate controls the bootleg DVD trade.
Anyway, I was told to follow her for what ended up being about three blocks. Eventually, I was instructed to stand by a van that can only be described as pedophilesque and wait. Nothing unsettling about that! I spent the downtime negotiating with an associate of the DVD lady for knockoff Hermes bracelets, mostly so I'd have a hostage to grab in the what seemed to be very likely event that the van doors flew open and someone snatched me up in hopes of selling me off to a human trafficking ring.
Pictured: Jewelry that will probably give you lead poisoning.
Finally, the DVD lady arrived with a stack of Hollywood hits in tow. And when I say "Hollywood hits," I don't mean films that you should legitimately be able to purchase on DVD right now. No, I mean current Hollywood hits, like shit that just hit theaters a few days ago. She was asking $5 each. I managed to haggle her down to two for $5. Savings!
"Sweet! Do you sell Blu-rays, too?"
After making her shuffle through the stack of films at least five times, I settled on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Grey. I chose The Grey based solely on that scene in the trailer where Liam Neeson and crew are being stared down by a pack of hungry wolves and, when asked what they should do, Neeson replies, "Stare back at them." Vintage Neeson badassery right there. Sign me up.
The Product
Look, nobody buys a DVD on the street expecting to come away with a retail-quality viewing experience. I'm not dumb. I was anticipating, at best, something resembling the Zapruder film in terms of quality. Or, at worst, just a couple of blank discs. Surprisingly, though, things weren't nearly as horrible as I expected. Of course, the presentation left something to be desired. Just printed sheets of paper that vaguely resemble DVD covers with completely generic DVD-Rs inside.
Princo Budget: The DVD-R of choice for discerning movie pirates.
But that's where the similarities between the two discs end. On one end of the spectrum, we have The Grey. As presented on this disc, the film literally starts with Liam Neeson in mid-sentence, walking toward a bar. Is that how the movie actually starts? No credits or anything, just a drop-in on Neeson while he's in the middle of completing a thought that the audience never gets to hear the beginning of?
Probably not. But hey, you get what you pay for, and in this case, what I paid for is the result of someone smuggling a piece of shit video camera into a movie and filming the action on the screen without the benefit of an external microphone. The audio sounds like it's being processed through a Progresso soup can tied to a length of twine, and the video is exactly what I imagine the early stages of glaucoma must be like.
Even at $2.50, it's a shitty deal. But things take a turn for the better with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Much to my surprise, in terms of both audio and video quality, this shit is THE GOODS!
For a DVD purchased from the underbelly of the overseas black market, you seriously could not ask for more. For all intents and purposes, this is pretty much what you would get if you bought the DVD at a retail establishment. If I had to guess, I'd say you could chalk this up to the fact that this DVD has a release date that is literally just a few weeks away. That means, somewhere, a legit copy of it has already been pressed. And through the magic of crime, some enterprising pirate got their hands on one of those copies, burned several thousand more copies and then sold one of those copies to me for $2.50 on Canal Street. Score!
Don't take this to mean that I'm recommending you buy all of your DVDs from random street solicitors, though. I'm just saying you should time it properly to get the most bang for your buck.
3Extasia by New Brand Cologne
Retail Value: Approximately $10
Asking Price: $45
Negotiated Purchase Price: $10
After the exercise in potential mugging victimry that was buying black market DVDs, I set my sights on another widely counterfeited product. This time around, I was in search of cologne. While I did walk away with a purchase that seemed like a steal at the time, what I really got was an important lesson in the dangers of negotiating for something you have absolutely no knowledge of.
The Sales Pitch
You'll note that there are no covert images of the street vendor I dealt with during this transaction. I apologize for that, but there's a simple explanation. To put it bluntly, this guy was fucking terrifying. My first mistake was making eye contact with this maniac. The moment that happened, he grabbed my wrist and sprayed some sort of fragrance in my palm and then yelled "Thees sells for 90 dollar but I give to you for 45!" Except imagine that sentence as just one long, aggressive, grammatically flawed word. I had little interest in buying the gasoline-scented concoction that now covered my palm (non-jerkoff hand, thankfully), but couldn't help but be a little bit charmed by the Justin Bieber cologne he had displayed.
Who among us wouldn't be?
I declined the cologne man's advances and counteroffered a crisp $10 bill in exchange for the opportunity to smell like a counterfeit version of a teen pop sensation. Unfortunately, my offer was met with nothing but pure, unadulterated rage. I might as well have been asking if he could sell me a cartoon drawing of ... never mind. I'm just saying, in some cultures, Justin Bieber cologne is not a commodity that's treated lightly. But somewhere in the tirade I heard "You take what I spray on you 10 dollar!" Fair enough, Salesman of the Year, bag it up and get me the fuck out of here before the bomb vest goes off.
The Product
I felt lucky to escape with not only my life but also a bottle of (either stolen or counterfeit) cologne that people with money to burn apparently pay just shy of $100 for. That is, until I got home and Googled exactly what I had purchased. Yes, the "retail" price is sometimes listed as being in the $75 to $90 range, but the most expensive purchase price I found on the Internet was $24.90, and that was at a site called UpscaleMenswear.com. Only assholes who actively try to impress people by spending more money than they need to would shop at a site with a name like that. As for regular people, you can buy this stink in a bottle on Amazon for less than 10 bucks.
You win this time, Canal Street.


text:
ECS | CeRTS | IWAS | Teachers
| Students | Administrators
| Student Assessment
| IL Learning Standards
| Programs | Forms
| Glossary Skip
over navigation
Springfield, Ill. The Illinois State Board of
Education will offer technical assistance meetings on
school restructuring issues for those schools that did
not make sufficient or adequate yearly progress over several
years. Those schools that did not make sufficient or adequate
yearly progress are required to write a restructuring
plan in early 2006.
Illinois is moving ahead with an Illinois e-Plan
which will simplify the process of submitting required
plans to local boards of education and ISBE. This toolkit
is now available through the Interactive Illinois Report
Card (IIRC) website for schools and districts. The toolkit
includes a School Improvement Plan Template
and an accompanying Guide and Peer Review Tool
to assist districts and schools in revising and submitting
school improvement and restructuring plans. A District
Improvement Plan Template and an accompanying
Guide will follow in the next few weeks.
Schools that have not made Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP)
for five consecutive school years must submit a plan for
restructuring the school, with the plan to be implemented
if the school does not make AYP next spring. District
and school planners should consider what has occurred
in a school that has brought it to the point of restructuring
planning. The restructuring plan should take into account
the school improvement and corrective actions initiated
in prior years. The actions required under the restructuring
plan may be seen as deeper, broader, or more targeted
to meet identified needs. Each restructuring plan must
be submitted to ISBE with the approval of the local board
no later than six months after the districts receipt
this summer of formal notification regarding the schools
AYP status.
The sessions will be from:
Illinois State Board of Education
100 North First Street
Springfield, IL 62777


text:
It's easy being green for 10 piglets in China.
Ten pigs born this year in Southern China's Guangdong Province -- including six born since August -- glow with a green tint when held under a blacklight, according to University of Hawai?i at M?noa. This wasn't a strange abnormality -- scientists made them glow on purpose.
Scientists at South China Agricultural University used a method developed at the University of Hawiaii to transfer plasmids containing a fluorescent protein from jellyfish DNA to pig embryos, according to the Hawaiian university.
The green glow is a sign the proteins were successfully made part of the pigs' DNA. It doesn't harm the animals, the scientists said.
The ultimate goal of the research is to create cheaper, more efficient medicines.
"[For] patients who suffer from hemophilia and they need the blood-clotting enzymes in their blood, we can make those enzymes a lot cheaper in animals rather than a factory that will cost millions of dollars to build," Dr. Stefan Moisyadi said in the UH press release.


text:
Home|Academics|Doctor of Chiropractic Degree|DC Clinical Opportunities|Radiology
B. The resident should spend an average of eight hours per week working directly with a staff diplomate and/or designated radiologist.
C. The duties in the Logan Health Center Radiology Department or other authorized sites assigned by the program director are as follows:
First Year - 20 hours
Second Year - 15 hours
Third Year - 10 hours
First Year - 20 hours
Second Year - 15 hours
Third Year - 10 hours
D. The assignment to certain classes by the program director for specific teaching purposes, assistance to the instructor, or specific laboratory, assignments relating to courses taught in the Radiology Department.
E. As scheduled, the resident will be present when film interpretation is done by the scheduled staff diplomate in radiology. Suitable quarters are supplied for film reading, in an area which facilitates and is out of the main stream of clinic traffic.
F. Other duties may include supervision of assistant to the technologist on duty in the clinic, inventory of supplies and consultation with clinicians, staff diplomate and/or the department chairman as necessary for appropriate patient care.
Reading assignments will correspond to the core curriculum, class syllabi and additions made from the listed books included in the required reading.
Publications Requirement
Submission requirements are:
Year 1: Two (2) Publications
Year 2: Two (2) Journal Articles
Year 3: Two (2) Journal Articles and 1 Research Paper
Primary authorship is required for fulfillment of the requirements. The designation journal articles refer to refereed journals. Authorship of publications in other material does not meet the publication requirement.
Residents with Grants-In-Aid Program must satisfy requirements as stated in the grant agreement.
Eligibility Requirements
The Council of Diagnostic Imaging Residency Grant is available to any full-time radiology resident engaged in a Council-recognized program in any chiropractic college accredited by a chiropractic college accrediting agency recognized by the United States Government's Department of Education.
The Council considers a recognized residency program as one that is conducted by a college meeting the accreditation status described in the preceding paragraph. Additionally, the chairman of that college's radiology department and any designated supervisor of a diagnostic imaging resident must be Diplomates of the American Chiropractic Board of Radiology or hold an equivalent status and be considered full-time faculty members of that chiropractic college. Also the Diagnostic Imaging Residency Program must be conducted in such a manner that the resident, upon completion of the program, will be eligible to take the examinations of the American Chiropractic Board of Radiology.
A full-time resident is defined as a resident whose primary occupation is that of a Diagnostic Imaging Resident. The resident is expected to be working under the close supervision of the chiropractic college's radiology department chairman and/or other designated resident supervisor. The training is to be conducted on the college campus, or in other institutions affiliated with that college for the purpose of training diagnostic imaging residents, and is to cover a minimum time averaging 35 hours per week over a period of three (3) academic years. It is to be expected that a portion of the resident's time will be spent in teaching undergraduate classes with the chiropractic college and that for college administrative purposes; the resident may be considered a member of the college faculty. A full-time resident is not to be self-employed or otherwise employed in the general practice of chiropractic nor in any other occupation or business as a primary occupation.
Diagnostic Imaging residents applying for this Council's Grant-in-Aid must be members in good standing of this Council for at least one year preceding the date of the grant application. (Student memberships and/or General memberships will be given equal consideration under this requirement). Membership in this Council must be maintained throughout the tenure of the residency program to continue eligibility for the periodic grant payments; however, residents will be afforded the privilege of maintaining membership at the same dues rate as Student Membership.
Implied in this membership requirement is the further requirement that the resident must maintain in good standing, their membership with the American Chiropractic Association in accord with applicable ACA dues structures and/or membership categories.
Grant Amounts & Payments
The grant payments are made in accordance with the Council on Diagnostic Imaging's fiscal year, which extends from July 1 to June 30. The amount of a grant is set annually by the Council Executive Board of Directors and is divided into three pay periods. The payments for each period are made on July 15, November 15 and March 15.
Applications can be submitted at any time, but the deadline for each of the three grant periods is July 15, October 15 and February 15. The earlier an application is completed and accepted, the greater the total grant amount that may be garnered. Applications accepted prior to June 15, would qualify for 3 grant periods in the ensuing fiscal year. An application accepted prior to October 15 would qualify for two grant periods in that fiscal year, and an application accepted prior to February 15 would qualify for one remaining grant period in that fiscal year.
Once accepted, applicants can continue to maintain eligibility for the grant payments until the end of their training program. Reapplication is usually not required and the residents will receive notification of the current annual amount of the grant at the beginning of each fiscal year. An eligible resident whose training period ends at same time midway in a grant pay period will find the last or final payment prorated to reflect the date their training period ends. Continuing eligibility requires the submission of a satisfactory progress report from the college radiology department for each grant period. These progress reports are to be received by the Council office on or before June 15, October 15 and February 15. It is the responsibility of the resident receiving the grant to see that the reports are submitted by the department chairman or college administration.
Every resident receiving grant funds during all or part of a Council fiscal year is required to prepare manuscript(s) acceptable for publication in Topics in Diagnostic Radiology and Advanced Imaging, the quarterly publication of the Council, according to the following guidelines:
The deadline for submitting this paper(s) is June 15 and January 15. Failure to meet this deadline(s), without just cause, will result in a denial of grant funds through the ensuring fiscal year. It is recommended that each resident submit his or her paper(s) far enough before the deadline to provide time for the revision of any paper deemed unacceptable for publication.
A resident's continuing eligibility to receive grant funds is also dependent upon the resident meeting the examination eligibility requirements of the American Chiropractic Board of Radiology (ACBR). ACBR requirements are set independent of the Council's requirements and/or this Council's Executive Board of Directors. Information regarding those requirements can only be obtained from the Secretary of the ACBR. The Secretary of the ACBR will provide verification, to the Council Treasurer, of each resident status in meeting the ACBR requirements prior to each grant pay period.
Request Info!
Start improving human health and performance today!
Request Info
Master's in Sports Rehab
Advanced degree option for sports injury management.
Learn More
Learn More
Request Information
Contact Us
Directions to Campus
Privacy Policy
Connect With Us
Contact Us
Logan University
1851 Schoettler Rd.
Chesterfield, MO 63017
Virtual Campus Tour
Call: 1-800-782-3344
Email: email@example.com
NOTICE OF NON-DISCRIMINATION: Logan admits students to all of the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the university. Logan does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex (and sexual orientation), national origin, religion, disability, age or veteran status in the administration of its educational and admission policies, scholarships and loan programs, and athletic and other university-related programs.
©2015 Logan University. All Rights Reserved.


text:
Hope Scholarship; Tax Breaks Will Help Students Attend College
The new HOPE scholarship and other features included in the federal Tax Relief Act of 1997 should make an education at Bluefield State College even more possible next spring than ever before. College officials say the new incentives could also help boost enrollments among both younger and returning students. "The HOPE scholarship program will really enhance the opportunity for both traditional and non- traditional students to obtain a college education, and we are enthused about the increased access to higher education that will be afforded by the program," BSC Interim Vice President of Student Affairs John Cardwell noted. Technically not a "scholarship," but a tax credit, the HOPE legislation allows eligible students pursuing the first two years of postsecondary education to receive a tax credit of 1 00 percent of the first $1,000 of tuition and fees, and 50 percent of the second $1,000 on their federal income tax. Students must be enrolled at least half-time (six credit hours) in a degree, certificate or other program leading to a recognized education credential. The measure takes effect January 1, 1998 and applies to education provided in academic periods beginning after that date. The Clinton Administration made the HOPE Scholarship a key part of its 1997 education/tax cut package, designing HOPE to assist in making the first two years of college the new standard for U.S. students. The tax credit is one of a series of measures aimed at making a college education affordable to the majority of low and middle income citizens. HOPE does come with some qualifications. Individual filers who earn more than $50,000, and joint filers with adjusted gross income exceeding $1 00,000 do not qualify. In addition, students convicted of a felony for the possession or distribution of a controlled substance are ineligible. And students who receive other forms of financial aid such as a Pell Grant will have the amount of their eligibility for HOPE reduced by the amount of aid their receive. In addition to the HOPE tax credit, a number of other Tax Relief Act features make college the best buy it has been in years. Tax credit beyond the first two years -- College juniors, seniors, graduate students, adults returning to college and students attending less than half time are eligible for a new lifetime learning credit. The credit is worth 20 percent of the first $5,000 of tuition and fees through 2002, and 20 percent of the first $1 0,000 after that. The same income restrictions that apply to HOPE are in effect for this benefit. The credit is available for expenses paid after June 30, 1998. Exemption of employer-provided assistance -- Section 127 of the IRS Code allows working adults to exclude annually from taxable income up to $5,250 in employer- provided educational assistance., The law is retroactive to May 31, 1997 and applies only to undergraduate programs. Deduction of student loan interest -- The new law allows a deduction of up to $2,500 per year of interest on education loans for expenses of students enrolled in higher education. The maximum deduction is $1,000 in 1998, increasing in $500 increments until it reaches $2,500. The deduction is allowed only for the first 60 months of interest payments, and has income level restrictions similar to the HOPE tax credit. Savings incentives -- Now individuals may make penalty-free withdrawals from an IRA to pay for higher education. The measure also creates education IRAs for children under age 18. Annual contribution to these accounts is limited to $500 per beneficiary. Exemption of scholarships and tuition remissions -- Section 11 7 of the IRS Code excludes from taxable income amounts received as a qualified scholarship, as well as tuition remission support for relatives of employees of colleges and universities.


text:
Brick Wall: Meet Head
Before today's game against the Cardinals, the Phillies announced that Jamie Moyer would be placed on the DL after injuring his elbow yesterday. Vance Worley, 22, was called up from AA Reading to take his roster spot. Nelson Figueroa was claimed off waivers from the Astros, which is not great news. But that was the chance the Phils took when they designated Figueroa for assignment. Andrew Carpenter, who pitched 3 innings last night, was sent back to AAA.
We may see a lot of odd moves this week as the Phillies are trying to make a trade, probably for a pitcher. Rumors have Roy Oswalt in the works, but it appears he want guaranteed money through 2012, which the Phillies probably cannot afford. Ruben Amaro Jr. is probably regretting kicking Brett Myers to the curb right about now, among other things.
The Phillies have not been playing well; perhaps this is an understatement. But what makes it even harder to swallow are things like this: With 2 outs and the bases loaded in the 7th inning, the Phillies do NOT pinch hit for the pitcher, Joe Blanton. With a 1-1 tie, knowing that Blanton has not gone past 6 innings all year without running into trouble, how do you not pinch hit for him here?
So the Phillies do not score as Blanton strikes out. Then in the bottom of the 7th, Blanton threw ONE pitch and it went straight out of the ballpark. Am I really the only one who saw this coming? Really? This is just one more piece of evidence to indicate that manager Charlie Manuel has NO confidence in the bullpen.
I do not know conclusively what Blanton's issue has been this year and I do not really care at this point. Because what I do know, with overwhelming evidence, is that he cannot be counted on past 6 innings, especially in a tight game like this one. He did not enter today's game with a 6.21 ERA for no reason. The Phillies have to know this as well, unless they are just closing their eyes and praying instead of watching the game.
Yes, the Phillies faced a very good pitcher today. So, knowing runs would be tough to come by, the Phillies should have been ready to use the bullpen. Blanton did get out of the 7th with just the one run, but he gave up the lead and then they sent him out again for the 8th.
And without recording an out, he gave up 2 runs to cushion the lead for the Cards, 4-1. Shocked? I was not. If Manuel keeps turning a blind eye in these situations, this team may not recover.
Fans are frustrated, and with good reason. Philly fans are passionate and understand the game. So it is easy to see how bad moves like we saw tonight infuriate people. We want to see our team win and these mistakes make it seem impossible. How many times do you have to bang your head against a brick wall before you realize it hurts? Not pinch hitting for the pitcher in the 7th inning with the bases loaded is equivalent to the brick wall-head scenario. Of course, that is just one gals humble opinion ;o)
So the Phillies went on to lose by a score of 5-1. The only run for the Phillies was a solo homer from Ryan Howard. Tomorrow afternoon, Cole Hamels will pitch and everyone is praying he can help this team avoid a demoralizing 4-game sweep. Game time is 2:15pm; tune in if you can stomach it. Just load up on Tums first.
Cartoon by http://carablake.wordpress.com/
*Read more about the Phillies at my other home page, Phightin' Phils Phorum in the My Team Rivals network*
1 Comment
Even I knew that not putting in a pinch hitter for Blanton last night was a poor decision. The other teams are banking on the Phils costly mistakes and that bothers me as well. They all have the Phils number. Ack! Frustrating. It's humiliating. The Phils have to blow the stink of of them now and go out and play one game at a time fully focused and centered in teamanship. It's just sad and I hate seeing the Phillies looking like lost puppies without a clue. They are more powerful than that. Barb


text:
Laurier Brantford
Career Planning Workshop
Apr 9/13
Date: Apr 9/13
Time: 9:30 - 10:30
Location: SCJ 214
Cost: FREE
Not sure what you want to do after graduation? Plan to attend this workshop! Find out about your career options and learn how to make career choices that best suit your values, personality, interests and goals. ** THIS WORKSHOP IS PART OF OUR CAREER DEVELOPMENT CERTIFICATE SERIES **
Contact: Jenn Hicks
Email: email@example.com
Phone: 5726
View all Laurier Brantford events


text:
Charles Town Police Department lands $10,000 in grants
CHARLES TOWN – The Charles Town Police Department found itself with $10,000 at its disposal after a recent city council meeting.
Sen. John Unger presented Chief Chris Kutcher with the grant money, which will be used for the necessary day-to-day operations of crime scene investigations, DUI enforcement training and narcotics investigation, Unger said.
"We have outstanding officers, but they are starving and thirsting for more training," Unger said. "As our community is growing, more issues are coming around. There's a lot of issues going on, so we need to make sure they are on their game."
Kutcher and Unger have been involved in the county's leadership academy, which trains officers in partnership with Blue Ridge Community and Technical College.
Unger said through working with Kutcher, they want Charles Town to serve as the coordinator for all law enforcement in the county to make sure all the departments are working and training together.
Grant funding was awarded to the department last year, which was for a simulation training exercise for all the police departments in Jefferson County to utilize. Unger described this form of training as "video-game like" which presents the officers with different scenarios, such as a hostage situation.
Unger also presented the city with a $2,500 grant for the Partnership for Affordable Housing in Jefferson County. The city of Charles Town will process and administrate the funds, which will be used for communications equipment.
"They don't have money to do reports or follow up on communications. You need that in order to be an organization, because people aren't going to give you money if they don't know what you're doing and if you can't communicate for contributions," Unger said.
Funding for the program itself comes from individual donors and government funding for the purpose of housing, Unger said.
The money will be helpful in raising funds. Among the items it will be used for are computer equipment and projection software.
– Staff writer Michelle Horst can be reached at 304-263-8931, ext. 138, or firstname.lastname@example.com.


text:
The Armament Systems: Guns, Ammunition, Rockets & Missiles Committee promotes the exchange of program plans, system descriptions, and technical approaches for present and future gun systems greater than Cal 0.50. The term "Gun System" includes guns, feed systems, ammunition and associated fuzing, fire control, and platform integration. The Committee strives to provide the forum for users, program managers, developers, and producers throughout the U.S. and international industrial and government communities. We emphasize the need to improve the mission and cost effectiveness of gun systems through the use of innovative techniques in the areas of unique materials and processes, novel warhead designs, guided projectiles, and advanced propulsion systems.
Chair:Mr. Matt SolversonGeneral Dynamics Ordnance and Tactical SystemsPhone: (618) 993-9306Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
NDIA:Mrs. Britt SullivanDirector, OperationsNDIAPhone: (703) 247-2587Email: email@example.com


text:
"Catholic Answers have given me more than what money can repay. Truth is very powerful stuff and I have found you unique in presenting it with love. You're a model to be followed. Great job, all of you."
~ -Steve, Detroit, Michigan
0 results
Subscribe to Catholic Answers Magazine
"May God never abandon me!"
~ Thomas Aquinas; philosopher, theologian, author, Doctor of the Church, patron of Catholic universities, colleges, and schools; reaffirming his total submission to the authority of the Church from his deathbed


text:
The Java 1.5 proposal offers programmers a false choice between desirable new features and readability. In fact, all of the proposed new features for 1.5 can be represented by clear, unambiguous, and readable constructs without breaking backwards compatibility. In the rest of this article I will illustrate this point by describing three alternative syntaxes I am proposing.
for Loop
Because of frequent requests for a more compact loop construct that works
with collections and arrays, Sun proposes a new
for loop that has
foreach semantics. Using an example from the Joshua Bloch interview, Sun wants to replace this:
void cancelAll(Collection c) {
for (Iterator i = c.iterator(); i.hasNext(); ) {
TimerTask tt = (TimerTask) i.next();
with this:
void cancelAll(Collection c) {
for (Object o : c)
The collection-iterating syntax is more compact, but the use of a colon to
foreach semantics is cryptic. (Is it supposed to resemble
a squashed equals sign? The ale must have flowed like water when they came up
with that!) There is a belief at Sun that
foreach is so commonly
used (it is a keyword in Perl, VBScript, Ruby, PHP, and Tcl) that adding a
foreach keyword now would break a lot of code that uses it as a
method or variable name. This is a strong argument, and I won't question it,
since I am proposing a backwards-compatible syntax, but that doesn't mean that
all other options are exhausted and we should resort to punctuation.
For example, why not simply add an
eachof keyword that turns
for loops into
foreach loops, resulting in
code like this?
void cancelAll(Collection c) {
for (Object o = eachof c)
eachof is not used in any of the
major scripting languages. For the very small group of people who might have
used "eachof" as a method or variable name, there is the
-source option.
Besides resolving the backwards-compatible keyword issue, this syntax has several other advantages:
eachof can be reused in other loop constructs. It can be
used more than once in a loop when two or more similar collections must be
traversed simultaneously. For example:
void cancelAll(Collection c, d, e) {
assert c.size() == d.size() == e.size();
while ((Object o = eachof c) != null)
((TimerTask) eachof d).cancel();
((TimerTask) eachof e).cancel();
eachof loops are readable and easy to understand. The
eachof keyword attaches to the nearest enclosing loop, in the same
way that
break and
continue do.
This is my proposal. Other people might pick another keyword. The point is
that with a little research, it is possible to find safe new keywords; it isn't
necessary to resort to punctuation marks to add a backwards-compatible
foreach capability to Java.
The major new feature in Java 1.5 will be generics, which will expand the range of static type checking greatly and take out a lot of the drudgery of working with collections. Some argue that in adding generics, Java should follow the syntax established by C++ and the Standard Template Library, which would mean replacing this:
static void expurgate(Collection c) {
for (Iterator i = c.iterator(); i.hasNext(); ) {
String s = (String) i.next();
if(s.length() == 4)
with this:
static void expurgate(Collection<String> c) {
for (Iterator<String> i = c.iterator(); i.hasNext(); )
if (i.next().length() == 4)
However, part of the reason Java has succeeded as well as it has is that James Gosling learned from the mistakes of the C++ project -- when he omitted multiple inheritance of implementation, for example, or when he made all reference types heap-based.
Java should continue this practice by adding the generic types popularized by C++ with cleaner and simplified syntax and semantics.
For example, many programmers seem to prefer a generics syntax with curvy brackets. The Generic Java proposal argues that that isn't possible, because it would lead to confusion between type parameters and value parameters. With a little thought, we can find another solution: put the type parameter in parentheses before the parameterized element, resulting in code like this:
static void expurgate((String) Collection c) {
for ((String) Iterator i = c.iterator(); i.hasNext(); )
if (i.next().length() == 4)
It might be said that the parenthesized expressions look too much like casts, but they appear in a different context than casts. Also, given the way Java Generics work (type erasure), it's not misleading for the construct to look like a cast. It can be thought of as a "declaration cast" that specifies in one place what cast the compiler should silently insert whenever extracting an element from the collection.
According to this proposal, the cast operator (
(TYPE)) is
generalized into a type expression. In assignment context it performs a cast.
In declaration context it specifies a generic type parameter. The two usages do
not overlap, so the kind of operation being performed is always clear.
It is interesting to note that this syntax closely resembles array declaration. In the following code fragment, for example,
String [] strings1 = new String [10];
(String) List strings2 = new (String) List;
List declaration and the array declaration are alike
except for the absence of parentheses around the array type declaration. If
Java 1.5 adds statically safe arrays, they can be distinguished from standard
arrays by adding parentheses, thus unifying array declaration syntax with
collection syntax.
To sum up, an inverted generics syntax has several advantages:
It leverages and generalizes existing constructs. The programmer's existing understanding of type casts aids the understanding of this syntax.
It is more readable than angle-bracket type parameters. This is a matter of taste, of course, and your taste may differ from mine.
It doesn't result in type parameters and variable parameters becoming "stacked up."
It reflects what actually happens in a generic system based on type erasure, such as Generic Java.
It starts to unify generic collection syntax with existing array syntax.
It maps simply to the standard Generic Java syntax, making it easy to modify existing tools.
The following example combines inverted generics syntax and the
eachof operator. Where Sun Java 1.5 would say,
void cancelAll(Collection<TimerTask> c) {
for (TimerTask task : c)
the proposed syntax would be:
void cancelAll((Timertask) Collection c) {
for (TimerTask task = eachof c)
The latest proposed feature for Java 1.5 is variance, which fixes some flaws in Java's type system and increases the range of static type checking. An introduction to variance is beyond the scope of this article, so I can only refer the reader to the variance white paper and the variance tutorial included with 1.5 Early Access, and move on to the syntax.
The proposed syntax for variance denotes:
Numbers as
Numbers as
Numbers as
Numbers as
The syntax for statically safe arrays is similar.
I submit that this syntax is confusing, especially for the programmer still trying to grasp the meaning of variance.
Instead of trying to map the types of variance to arithmetic symbols, let's
refer back to a basic feature of inheritance: a superclass precedes its
subclasses, chronologically. Given that fact, we should look for a way to
represent chronology typographically. The idea of "reading order" jumps out
right away. In English, at least, we start reading at the top left, and
continue down and to the right. A suitable syntax that agrees with these
observations is to represent a
Number and its superclass
ancestors, for example, as
"..Number", and to represent a Number
and all potential subclasses as
"Number..". For clarity, these
typeranges can have explicitly closed versions:
"Number..final". In either case, the relative position of
"Number" and the two-dot ellipsis determines the direction in the class
hierarchy signified.
Having introduced this construct, it is interesting to look back and notice
that it isn't unprecedented. Java and other C-like languages already use this
kind of positional notation when distinguishing between preincrement
++i), and postincrement (
i++), for example.
Here is an extended code sample from the variance tutorial, translated into my proposed syntax:
public abstract class Shape {
public abstract void drawOn (Canvas c)
public class Line extends Shape {
public int x, y, x2, y2
public void drawOn (Canvas c) { ... }
public class Polygon extends Shape {
private (Line) List lines;
public void drawOn (Canvas c) { ... }
public class Canvas {
public void draw (Shape s) {
s.drawOn (this)
// Covariant (read-only) list of shapes
public void drawAll ((Shape..) List shapes) {
for (Shape s = eachof shapes)
s.drawOn (this)
// copy from covariant list (read-only) to contravariant list (write-only)
public void copy ((Shape..) List from, (..Shape) List to) {
for (Shape s = eachof from)
to.add (s);
// copy from covariant array (read-only) to contravariant array (write-only)
public void copy ((Shape..)[] from, (..Shape)[] to) {
int i = 0;
for (Shape s = eachof from)
to[i++] = s;
This syntax has several advantages.
It can be compact enough to satisfy somebody writing complex type
expressions. The short form of covariance is
(Shape..) and the
short form of contravariance is
For beginners, a more explicit and verbose syntax is available:
(Shape..final) and
(Object..Shape). Without needing
to understand the underlying type theory, a novice programmer can easily
determine what kind of objects are permitted as method arguments, for
The positional notation is reinforced by Javadoc, which shows subclasses below and to the right of superclasses.
As I hope this article has shown, there are readable alternatives to the syntax developed by Sun for the new features proposed in Java 1.5 — alternatives that can maintain backwards-compatibility with standard Java.
What do you think? As Java programmers, do we need to compromise readability in order to get desirable new features? Are there realistic alternatives to Sun's proposal? Is the author's proposal readable or awkward? Does it improve on Sun's proposed syntax?
For comparison purposes, here is an extended example in Sun's proposed 1.5 syntax and the author's variation on that.
Java early access 1.5:
import java.util.LinkedList;
import java.util.Collections;
import static java.lang.Math.*; // import static
class Test {
// enum
enum Color { red, green, blue };
// varargs
public static void printf(String fmt, Object[] args...) {
int i = 0;
// foreach on primitive array
for (char c : fmt.toCharArray()) {
if (c == '%')
public static void main(String[] args) {
// Integer list
LinkedList<Integer> xs = new LinkedList<Integer>();
xs.add(new Integer(0)); xs.add(new Integer(1));
Integer x = xs.iterator().next();
Integer mb = Collections.max(xs);
// string list
LinkedList<String> ys = new LinkedList<String>();
ys.add("zero"); ys.add("one");
String y = ys.iterator().next();
// string list list
LinkedList<LinkedList<String>> zss = new LinkedList<LinkedList<String>>();
String z = zss.iterator().next().iterator().next();
// foreach on a collection
for (String s : ys)
// varargs and boxing
printf("Addition: % plus % equals %\n", 1, 1, 2);
// use static import
printf("sin(PI/12) = %\n", sin(PI/12));
// use enums
printf("Colors are %\n", Color.VALUES);
for ( Color c : Color.VALUES ) {
// switch on enum
switch(c) {
case Color.red:
System.out.println("found red.");
case Color.green:
System.out.println("found green.");
case Color.blue:
System.out.println("found blue.");
Here it is again with the author's proposed syntax:
import java.util.LinkedList;
import java.util.Collections;
import static java.lang.Math.*; // import static
class Test {
// enum
enum Color { red, green, blue };
// varargs
public static void printf(String fmt, Object[] args...) {
int i = 0;
// foreach on primitive array
for (char c = eachof fmt.toCharArray()) {
if (c == '%')
public static void main(String[] args) {
// Integer list
(Integer) LinkedList xs = new LinkedList;
xs.add(new Integer(0)); xs.add(new Integer(1));
Integer x = xs.iterator().next();
Integer mb = Collections.max(xs);
// string list
(String) LinkedList ys = new LinkedList;
ys.add("zero"); ys.add("one");
String y = ys.iterator().next();
// string list list
((String) LinkedList) LinkedList zss = new LinkedList;
String z = zss.iterator().next().iterator().next();
// foreach on a collection
for (String s = eachof ys)
// varargs and boxing
printf("Addition: % plus % equals %\n", 1, 1, 2);
// use static import
printf("sin(PI/12) = %\n", sin(PI/12));
// use enums
printf("Colors are %\n", Color.VALUES);
for ( Color c = eachof Color.VALUES ) {
// switch on enum
switch(c) {
case Color.red:
System.out.println("found red.");
case Color.green:
System.out.println("found green.");
case Color.blue:
System.out.println("found blue.");
"New Language Features for Ease of Development in the Java 2 Platform, Standard Edition 1.5: A Conversation with Joshua Bloch"
"JSR 14: Add Generic Types To The Java Programming Language"
"Prototype for JSR014: Adding Generics to the Java Programming Language v. 2.2"
"GJ: Extending the Java Programming Language with type parameters"
Stephen Jungels is a computer consultant with over five years of experience, currently specializing in Web applications development.
Return to ONJava.com.
Copyright © 2009 O'Reilly Media, Inc.