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Cabins and horse trails among wish list for Palo Pinto Mountains State Park
STRAWN — —You could tell this was a fine historic church by its lack of air conditioning.
But despite the warmth, the 116 attendees remained in the pews Thursday at the Opel Guest Chapel. They paid keen attention to everything Chris Beckcom had to say about the future of Palo Pinto Mountains State Park.
Beckcom is a park planner for the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department. The evening presentation gave the public an overview of ideas the agency is considering for the park.
"We felt it was best to throw different combinations and ideas out," he said afterward. "I've often said that when doing park planning, you have puzzle pieces that are very similar, but in each park they fit together differently to make a new puzzle."
The purpose of the meeting, he explained, was to get the ideas on the table and see what resonates with those gathered.
"Not just say, 'Here's the plan,'" he said.
Palo Pinto Mountains is the state's newest park. It was featured in Big Country Journal on May 16 when park superintendent John Ferguson led a guided tour for a group of interested people.
"I'm very encouraged by the turnout tonight, we had 116 people here. The population of Strawn is 700, so do the math," Ferguson said with a laugh. "Some of the folks were from out of town and I'm very glad they felt it was important to come here."
One of those out-of-towners was Gary Carter from the Texas Astronomical Society of Dallas.
"We were here for a number of reasons," he said. "One was to congratulate Strawn on putting up the light shields that help protect the night sky out here at the park."
Carter said they had worked with town to put caps on the tops of their streetlights.
"The wasted light that you see on the old mercury vapor lights illuminating the night sky — the moisture, and the dust in the atmosphere which causes us to lose visibility — is all controlled," he said. "Properly installed, you could actually reduce the amount of power that lights consume."
That's a big plus for stargazers. If you've ever opened your moonroof or stuck your head out the window driving through the rural Big Country on a clear night, you've seen more stars than you can count, not to mention the Milky Way. The only Milky Way you'll see in Dallas is in the candy bar display next to the register at 7-11.
Carter was interested in how the park could be developed to hold the same kinds of star parties they put on up at Copper Breaks State Park near Quanah. He described the night up there second only to Fort Davis as the darkest skies in Texas.
Up to 130 people with 20 to 30 telescopes will show up for their monthly star parties at Copper Breaks. Carter wants to see the same thing happen at Palo Pinto Mountains.
But aside from astronomy, cabins and equestrian access were the other topics of major interest. That was no surprise to Beckcom; he knew horseback riding had a deep, rich history within the area.
"That's why, right out of the box, we said we were going to have equestrian use. We believe it's a good use, we're going to support it," he said.
That's what had Barbara McKnight high-steppin' after the meeting.
"I live north of Stephenville and I'm always looking for ranch property to ride," she said. "I was excited like crazy to see this much property available for horses."
McKnight, a member of the Texas Equestrian Trail Riders Association, said they've had three work days on which four different riding groups came to work on trails, clear brush and generally help out.
"I'm as excited as I can be about Palo Pinto Mountain State Park," she said.
Greg Crawford sat in the back of the room, fanning himself and his wife, Joni, with one of the state park maps. Longtime Strawn residents, he said they too were excited.
"I think it's going to be great for this area," he said. "The best thing would be for the Legislature to fund it fully at once, and in five years it'll be done."
And that, as they say, is where the hoof will hit the trail.
When the state Legislature meets next year, one of the budget items they'll have to take up is funding the 4,200-acre park. Roads, cabins, camp grounds, parking lots and a myriad other infrastructure-related items will need to be installed.
Jim Keffer, state representative for District 60, which includes the park, also was in the room. He said he asked the parks department representatives in the room for a ballpark figure on what it could likely cost.
"I know we don't have it all down yet, exactly what we're going to do," Keffer said. "But for the next session, it's a lot better to get it within the Parks and Wildlife core request than in an amendment down the road.
"Even though it won't be exact, the sooner we can get a figure to start working on down in Austin, the better off everybody is."
There aren't a large number of state parks in the Big Country. Many parks seem to be clustered in other parts of the state. McKnight had a final thought about that.
"I think that the lushness of East Texas and Central Texas has probably had something to do with it," she said.
"It takes a special person to love West Texas."
Comments and ideas for Palo Pinto Mountains State Park will be taken until Friday and will be incorporated into the next public meeting.
Email John Ferguson at email@example.com or write to 1915 FM 2372 Strawn, TX 76475.
Twitter: @RonsBigCountry


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The latest uniform combination for the Oregon Ducks has been unveiled. Oregon will be playing at Arizona Saturday, with a trip to the Pac-12 title game on the line, so looking good will be paramount.
Defensive tackle Jared Ebert tweeted out this picture of the matte black and silver helmets, white jerseys with silver wings and silver pants:
Our swag for the day @Uniformswag #GoDucks pic.twitter.com/ltuJ1cg382— Jared Ebert (@J93bert) November 23, 2013
Here is a full length shot of the combo:
What do you think of this unique combination?
Here is the Oregon uniform combo for today pic.twitter.com/PHAuNKzXFd— Ryan Dunn (@RS_Dunn) November 23, 2013
Thanks to Jared Ebert and Phil Hecken for the find.


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Large Venue Projectors
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When it comes to resolution, common knowledge gives people 720P, 1080P, or even 4K when shopping for televisions, so they have a comparison, however, projector resolution is quite different.
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Dark Chocolate Flourless Cake Recipe
- 1 cup pomegranate juice
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 pound bittersweet chocolate, chopped
- 1/2 cup butter, cubed
- 6 eggs, lightly beaten
- 6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
- 3/4 cup heavy whipping cream
- Optional garnishes: whipped cream, pomegranate seeds and confectioners' sugar
- 1. Line the bottom of a greased 9-in. springform pan with parchment paper; grease the paper and sides of pan. Place on a double thickness of heavy-duty foil (about 18 in. square). Securely wrap foil around pan.
- 2. In a small saucepan, bring pomegranate juice and sugar to a simmer, stirring to dissolve sugar; cook and stir 8-10 minutes or until syrupy. Remove from the heat; stir in vanilla.
- 3. In a large saucepan, melt chocolate and butter over low heat, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat; stir in pomegranate mixture. Cool to room temperature.
- 4. Whisk eggs into chocolate mixture. Pour into prepared pan. Place in a large baking pan; add 1 in. of hot water to larger pan.
- 5. Bake at 350° for 40-50 minutes or until center is just set and top appears dull. Remove springform pan from water bath. Cool completely on a wire rack.
- 6. Carefully run a knife around edge of pan to loosen; remove sides of pan. Place cake on a serving platter. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool slightly, stirring occasionally.
- 7. Pour over cake, allowing ganache to drape down the sides. Let stand until set. Just before serving, garnish with whipped cream and pomegranate seeds and dust with confectioners' sugar if desired. Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 16 servings.
Nutritional Facts
1 slice (calculated without garnishes): 356 calories, 28g fat (15g saturated fat), 110mg cholesterol, 73mg sodium, 32g carbohydrate (26g sugars, 3g fiber), 5g protein.
Reviews for Dark Chocolate Flourless Cake
"I served this intense chocolate cake after my New Year's Day dinner. It received excellent compliments. It is very filling so serve small portions."
"I make this cake for Christmas and I've had people drop by just because they know I've made it. Sometimes I add dark cherries instead of the pomegranate seeds. It's great either way."
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"This cake is fabulous!! I made this cake for Christmas and everyone loved it. I followed the recipe exactly without any problems but did skip the garnish. It was wonderful all by itself but I think it would be incredible with a raspberry sauce drizzles on top!"


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Anxiety Trumps Law in Party's Crackdown on Activists
By Stanley Lubman
Recent trials of activist protesters show continuity between Chinese law before post-Mao reforms and the Chinese law of today. The Party continues to twist the use of the criminal law and procedure to meet the perceived needs of the moment— which are propelled by a fundamental anxiety over the possibility of losing control of society.
The Beijing First Intermediate People's Court's decision to sentence activist Xu Zhiyong to four years in prison for "disturbing public order" by encouraging demonstrations against official corruption by his supporters in the New Citizens Movement surprises no one. The heavy-handed violations of Chinese criminal procedure law that marked the case, both before and during the trial, were part and parcel of the departures from Chinese law that have often marked prosecutions of activists protesting official illegality.


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When the chicks fly the coop we lose the built-in community that comes with raising a brood. Gone are the sports team gatherings, the school plays and scout meetings.
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We were surprised by a TV crew on Valentines Day after our maiden skydive in Queensland, Australia! We were totally thrown off guard – proven by how completely wind-blown we are!… Enlarge video and leave us a comment >>
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Earth Scrub (a green "soft scrub") all-purpose cleaner
Total Time
Prep 5 mins
Cook 0 mins
This is a great "soft scrub" for counters, sinks, tubs, shower stalls, etc. You can optionally add an essential oil to scent. (I use Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castille soap, so I don't need any extra scent.) It's important to use liquid soap, not detergent, because detergent makes it much harder to rinse. Castille soap is best; it's available at health food stores. It's great to use this and know you're saving money while being kind to your lungs and the planet at the same time! I got this recipe from Karen Logan's book, Clean House, Clean Planet (a great book!). You can add a few drops of tea tree oil to make it disinfectant and use it for a toilet bowl cleaner.
Ingredients Nutrition
- 1 2⁄3 cups baking soda
- 1⁄2 cup liquid soap
- 1⁄2 cup water
- 2 tablespoons white vinegar
- Stir liquid soap into baking soda.
- Add the water, and stir to be as smooth as possible.
- Add the vinegar and stir again.
- Pour into a squeeze bottle.
- (A clean, empty ketchup or syrup bottle works well.) Shake well before using, and keep tightly closed between uses.
Most Helpful
This is definitely a great recipe and one I've already used and enjoyed. However, I add the vinegar while I'm cleaning, rather than adding it to the original mix. The vinegar and baking soda neutralize each other when mixed, so the combination doesn't add any extra cleaning power. I'd suggest adding an extra tablespoon of water to the original mix to get the desired consistency, and then adding a little vinegar if needed when cleaning.
I made this specifically for my glass cooktop, which I always used commercial brands for. I wanted a non toxic, less expensive alternative, and this worked perfectly! I used castille soap from Trader Joes, and sifted the baking soda first, and it came out perfectly smooth. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I love this cleaner. It's inexpensive and works really well.


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text: This wine is very good, however, this 2012 vintage is not what was sent to me. I received the 2013 vintage and when I contacted customer service, they told me that the 2012 was no longer available. I have tried the 2012 vintage and feel it is superior to the 2013. Just be aware that if you order, you will get the 2013.


text:
This property has been removed by the agent. It may be sold or temporarily removed from the market
3 bedroom detached house for saleWELLS CLOSE, Newcastle upon Tyne
Offers Over £279,950
Property Description
Full descriptionA DELIGHTFUL, THREE BEDROOMED DETACHED HOUSE SITUATED ON THIS VERY POPULAR, SMALL DEVELOPMENT OF EXECUTIVE HOUSES CLOSE TO ALL LOCAL AMENITIES AND WITHIN EASY ACCESS OF NEWCASTLE CITY CENTRE. THE PROPERTY HAS GAS CENTRAL HEATING, DOUBLE GLAZING AND TASTEFUL DECOR THROUGHOUT. THE ACCOMMODATION BRIEFLY COMPRISES: ENTRANCE HALLWAY WITH GROUND FLOOR W.C., TWO RECEPTION ROOMS, RECENTLY RE-FITTED KITCHEN WITH INTEGRATED APPLIANCES, THREE BEDROOMS, MASTER WITH EN-SUITE SHOWER ROOM AND FAMILY BATHROOM WITH WHITE SUITE AND POWER SHOWER. THERE IS A SINGLE GARAGE, BLOCK PAVED DRIVEWAY AND WEST FACING GARDEN TO THE REAR. INTERNAL VIEWING IS ESSENTIAL.
Radiator in decorative case, stairs to first floor, cloaks cupboard, inset
Radiator. Low level W.C. & wash hand basin.
LOUNGE 5.38m(17'8)x3.66m(12'0) Approx
Two radiators. Beautiful fire surround with cast iron inset and coal effect gas fire, T.V., point, ornate coving.
DINING ROOM 4.32m(14'2)x2.79m(9'2) Approx
Radiator, ornate coving, double glazed patio doors to garden.
KITCHEN 2.95m(9'8)x3.25m(10'8) Approx
Re-fitted with a range of wall and base units with laminated work surfaces, inset single drainer stainless steel sink unit, integrated dish washer, fridge, AEG gas hob, John Lewis self cleaning electric oven, extractor hood, Amtico flooring.
Halogen lights, access to loft.
Chrome ladder style radiator, modern contemporary suite with shower bath and power shower, wash hand basin, low level W.C., fitted vanity unit, storage cupboards, tiled walls and floor, halogens lights, airing cupboard with hot water tank.
MASTER BEDROOM 3.86m(12'8)x3.99m(13'1) Approx
Radiator, fitted wardrobes, Door into En suite.
Chrome ladder radiator. Villeroy Bosch suite comprising wash hand basin, low level W.C., walk-in shower, tiled wall and floor, halogen lights, shaver point.
BEDROOM TWO 3.23m(10'7)x3.76m(12'4) Approx
Radiator, fitted wardrobes, windows to the front and side.
BEDROOM THREE 2.03m(6'8)x2.84m(9'4) Approx
Radiator, fitted wardrobes, storage cupboards and drawers.
West facing lawned garden to the rear with borders, patio area and decking. Lawned garden to the front with block paved driveway for two cars.
GARAGE 5.82m(19'1)x2.57m(8'5) Approx
With up and over door, plumbed for automatic washing machine.
This is to be advised. Any interested purchaser should seek clarification from their Solicitors.
Energy Performance Certificates (EPCs)
To view this media, please visit the on-line version of this page at www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-37000388.html
Listing History
Map & Street View
View in fullscreenView in fullscreen
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Market Info
Disclaimer - Property reference BOW0BOW3003643. The information displayed about this property comprises a property advertisement. Rightmove.co.uk makes no warranty as to the accuracy or completeness of the advertisement or any linked or associated information, and Rightmove has no control over the content. This property advertisement does not constitute property particulars. The information is provided and maintained by Bowes Mitchell, Benton. Please contact the selling agent or developer directly to obtain any information which may be available under the terms of The Energy Performance of Buildings (Certificates and Inspections) (England and Wales) Regulations 2007 or the Home Report if in relation to a residential property in Scotland.
Map data ©OpenStreetMap contributors.


text:
13th June 2016:
The report and photos of the 2016 AGM are now available in the "Members Area", the 2017 AGM will be held on the 11th March 2017 again at the Hallmark Midland Hotel, Derby, Further updated details are here.
Ron Smith has found the following link to this site which has loads of great photos: http://www.bahnbilder-
8th February 2016:
The 2016 Nuremburg Toy Fair Report can now be seen in the "Members Area"
October 2015:
The Society has a Facebook page -
We also have a Facebook Group where Society Members can post information and ask questions.
Please become a member of the group here.
SRS News
The cog wheel and Helvetic cross logo is copyright and shall not be reproduced without the permission of the Management Committee
The Society has no connection whatsoever with any commercial site having a similar URL
Copyright © 2016 Swiss Railways Society
The Swiss Railways Society was formed in 1980 for the purpose of bringing together those interested in Swiss Railways, but over the years has attracted those with a liking for other forms of transportation such as trams, boats cable cars and funicular railways. Our numbers include many whose technical knowledge is slight but whose love of Switzerland and its railways bring them comfortably into contact with the historically and technically minded member as well as model makers at all levels of experience. For details of membership click here.
The September issue of Swiss Express includes the following features:
Page last updated 19th October 2016
Latest News
Please note that the Society can now accept credit and debit card payments for Membership or Sales transactions via PayPal or by on-
Swiss Travel Centre -
Some of the Society's Branches now have their own web page. See the Branches page for more details.
The September issue of Swiss Express was dispatched to members at the end of August.
The 2017 AGM and Spring Meet will be held on the 11th March 2017 at the Hallmark Midland Hotel, Derby.
More details are available here.
Sales News
24th July 2016:The EGM was held at the Hallmark Midland Hotel, Derby on 23rd July 2016. The voting, including postal votes, was as follows: 316 in favour, 2 against and 1 abstention. The proposal was therefore overwhelmingly carried and the Society will convert to a Company Limited by Guarantee on 1st January 2017. A copy of the updated Memorandum and Articles of Association of the Society are available in the Members Area.
Access to the Members Area is restricted to 2016 Members only. Your logon details are printed in the current issue of Swiss Express and your password is printed on your 2016 membership card.
Society Contacts -
Swiss Travel System -
The SRS Sales Stand will be attending various events this year for details please click here.
4th October 2016:
You can now buy Perren DVDs in our On-
We now have the latest Perren Cabride DVDs in stock, titled " Furka Bergstrecke" it covers the preserved railway between Realp and Oberwald in both directions on a single DVD lasting over 2 hours 40 minutes. The price is £19.00 and it is available now from SRS Sales.
19th October 2016:
All pre-
19th October :
The 2017 Swiss timetable is now available on-


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Experience the Yes I Can!SM philosophy of Radisson Blu as you enjoy all of our 1st-rate amenities. Take advantage of services like 3-hour Express Laundry or Late Check-Out if you have an evening flight. Our friendly staff is here to serve you and uphold our 100% Satisfaction Guarantee.
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Check out from Radisson Blu hotels as late as 18:00 (subject to availability) instead of the normal check-out time at no extra cost. Our aim is to accommodate the needs of our guests and offer tailor-made, flexible solutions.
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The average guests stays at a hotel for less than two days, which makes getting laundry done a complicated matter. But at Radisson Blu we have dispensed of this complication with 3-Hour Express Laundry. All shirts, blouses, socks, underwear, pants and other pieces of clothing, handed in before 8pm. will be returned fresh and clean that same evening.
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Hazy Days
Style up your separates ready for the Bank Holiday.
Photos Hill & Aubrey
30th April 2014
Summer separates seen through a haze of London sunshine. A colourful shoe, a print scarf – accessories are the exclamation point of any outfit.
Tweet or Instagram us your Matthew moments with hashtag #ohMW.


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After hunting for quail in southern Georgia, we asked Chef Peter Dale at the National in Athens, Ga., to prepare our birds and share with our audience his recipe for grilled quail with green garlic. "With wild game," he says, "it is important to pair ingredients that are not only complimentary but also acknowledge the animals' terrain."
Most of us can convincingly fake a restaurant's wine menu, but walk into a Japanese restaurant and peruse the sake menu, a Zen study in minimalism, and most of us are totally lost. Fret no longer. Abby Shultz, our colleague running Barron's Asia Penta, has written an illuminating cheat sheet that is easy to follow and filled with wise suggestions about how you can develop your sake palate and find ideal pairings.
Taking the family to London this summer? There is a once-in-a-lifetime exhibit to see called "Defining Beauty: The Body in Ancient Greek Art" at the British Museum. Even if you are on a short and harried business trip to London, duck out of your meetings for half an hour and treat yourself to a brief visit. It will renew you – and make you want to go to the gym.
I don't say this lightly. My daughter works in the British Museum's press office, so I have long given her finger-wagging lectures on how she can't pitch me on the British Museum's exhibits – for conflicts-of-interest reasons. But when my wife and I showed up at the museum on a Friday evening, to pick up our daughter after work, she took us through the Defining Beauty exhibit that will be running until July 5th. Not bringing this extraordinary exhibit to the attention of Penta's readers, due to some purist journalistic ideal, suddenly seemed far the worse crime.
We entered the exhibit's darkened first room – and my jaw dropped. There were three statutes in the confined space: Straight ahead, crouching, was Aphrodite, the goddess of love, her rounded alabaster buttocks the definition of soft, feminine sensuality, her head turning to glance at me over her right shoulder, with just a few fingers of her right hand emerging over her left shoulder, like she was personally beckoning me to come around to take a peek at her body. If you do, as I did, beware. She is divine and when you circle around to get a frontal look, her dangerously hard stare won't let you easily forget her exalted state.
Whether you are looking to entertain family or business relations from out of town, jazz supper clubs are a relaxing way to spend an evening. Jazz drummer Art Blakey once said, "Jazz washes away the dust of everyday life." So true. Once the band is in a groove and your feet start tapping, the stress of work seems to melt away and become a distant memory. Here are three great-value New York jazz-and-supper clubs—a venue for formal entertaining, a laid-back barbecue joint, and an intimate uptown lounge.
What are some of the best-value wines on the market? That's what we asked Daniel Johnnes, both a wine director for Daniel Boulud's Dinex Group and a successful importer of wines.
Last time we visited Johnnes in his downtown digs, we asked the oenophile to identify the truly special wines he would serve his nearest and dearest over Christmas. (See "Three Magical Wines for the Holidays," Penta, Dec. 9, 2013.)
Wall Street's well-paid wine junkies didn't bat an eye at his list, but some Penta readers—and a few colleagues—wagged their finger at us for soliciting what Johnnes calls "once in a lifetime" wines and vintages.
To experience the essence of Switzerland, forget Interlaken and Geneva, and head instead to Central Switzerland, to the lakeside village of Weggis in Canton Luzern.
In 1897, Samuel Clemens, otherwise known as Mark Twain, was experiencing financial difficulties and in mourning; his daughter had just died of spinal meningitis, at aged 24, in the Clemens's home back in Connecticut. But forced by financial pressures to go on a speaking tour to London, Twain, his wife, and two surviving daughters eventually retreated to Weggis in Switzerland, a village found halfway down the Lake of Lucerne. Seeking a low-cost place to regroup and mourn their loss, Twain stayed 10 weeks in a simple guesthouse, with his family, while he worked on his book, Following the Equator.
"I believe this place [Weggis] is the loveliest in the world, and the most satisfactory. The scenery is beyond comparison beautiful," he wrote in a letter that year. But he also noted, in his droll way, "Sunday in heaven is noisy compared to this quietness."
We went to Genoa, Italy, in search of fish. We found fish in The Acquarium, but we more interested in the kind of pesce that ends up on a Genoese plate. It is not for nothing that 12th Century Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa demanded "sea dates", a now protected type of mussel that grows on the underwater belly of the region's cliffs.
We arrived in the bustling Ligurian port just as the Slow Fish Biennial, a trade fair devoted to eating sustainable fish, was getting under way. Many of Genoa's interesting local restaurants go unexplored by outsiders; exhausted travelers don't have the energy to stray far from their hotels where they usually find expensive but forgettable dinners.
That's because the city is built on the hills and Apennine mountains that surround the harbor. Buildings are jammed together on raked slopes, providing the intrepid tourist with haunting rooftop views, bathed in golden Mediterranean light. But climbing the stairs to catch the view is sometimes brutal, and scaling the steps inside the medieval city gates had us gripping the rail for dear life.
The passageways known as vicos are often just eight feet wide, prone to sudden twists, easy for a cigarette-smoking Vespa-riding demon to dispatch you to the hereafter with no-one the wiser. Henry James called the city's Genoa's streets "the crookedest and most incoherent" in the world.
But that is the heart of Genoa. You never know what is around the corner. It could be a medieval tower, a heavenly chocolate mousse, or a puppet show. Or a delicious platter of freshly caught and cooked fish.
by Ellie Winninghoff
How do you profitably invest in the veggie farms, grass-fed beef producers and artisan goat cheese-makers that make up the burgeoning local food system? When Woody Tasch, in 2008, published Inquiries into the Nature of Slow Food: Investing as if Food, Farms and Fertility Mattered, and launched the nonprofit Slow Money to help guide the flow of capital into small and local food enterprises, he did not have a clue. But he captured the zeitgeist.
Five years later, 650 farmers, ranchers, local food entrepreneurs, food activists and investors met at the fourth Slow Money Gathering in Boulder in late April, trying to better understand the economics of financially viable local farms. As Penta reported in its December cover story, "The New Philanthropists," figuring out how to profitably integrate local, bio-diverse farms into food delivery chains is consuming many fine minds, including Microsoft millionaire, Narendra Varma; it's wise to be aware of what is going on in this corner of the food and agricutlural industries.
Michael Brownlee, co-founder of Localization Partners, LLC, a Slow Money affiliate based in Boulder, said at the conference the food localization effort in Colorado is no longer about a "preferential lifestyle," but rather about an economic development strategy for an agricultural state. Sounds a bit grand, but Denver's Mayor Michael Hancock recently announced the city has an official food localization goal of 20% by 2020. Brownlee says Slow Money will be a key part of Denver's strategy.
By Phil Roosevelt
When my son Danny and I headed off for a five-day, food-themed vacation in Paris, we each had something in mind. Danny is a 22-year-old aspiring chef and wanted to scope out the latest happenings on the French culinary scene. I am a middle-aged food rube and hoped to refine my palette beyond turkey burgers and scrambled eggs. At the Pierre Gagnaire restaurant, a short walk from the Arc de Triomph, we both found what we were looking for, and then some.
Chef Pierre Gagnaire is a hero to the world's most adventurous eaters. He mixes and matches flavors, textures and colors from various cooking traditions to create entirely original dishes. Each meal consists of extraordinary variety—mine came in 19 separate dishes—and Gagnaire constantly refreshes the menu, surprising even his regulars. These experiments in "fusion" cuisine have earned him three stars from Michelin and serious admiration from other top chefs. As a trusted Parisian source of Penta put it, the restaurant is "definitely the most fascinating gastronomic experience at the moment in Paris."
This wasn't hash browns at my New York diner. It was potatoes from Noirmoutier, an island off France's Atlantic coast whose soil is rich in sea salt. Fertilized with seaweed, they are considered the best, most expensive potatoes known to man—the Rolls Royce of Potatoes. Paired with white asparagus, potatoes from Noirmoutier arrived at the table as one of our many appetizers, along with such imponderables as "fennel water flavored with tarragon" and "Aspic of anglerfish spiced with tandoori."
At one point early on, our highly attentive waiter swooped in with a basket of bread. As you might suspect, it was not just any bread. It was insanely good and Danny, who had been working at an excellent bakery in upstate New York, Mrs. London's of Saratoga Springs, knew exactly why. The baguettes, for instance, were made with "a darker wheat flower than you usually see in baguettes," he told me. The "delicate, almost nutty" flavor of the flour permeated the bread. To Danny's clear satisfaction as a baker, the bread, with its accompanying French butter, was "treated as its own course rather than a mere afterthought."
When packing bags for Britain, I follow in the footsteps of Geoffrey Chaucer's pilgrims. The Canterbury Tales opens, with good reason, "Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote…." The pilgrims knew, after a gray British winter, that April is a light-filled canvas of budding trees, yellow daffodils, and rolling white clouds. The air is crisp and butter-bright; the renewing showers come and go quickly. I think T.S. Eliot got it entirely wrong, weather-wise, when he claimed in The Waste Land that "April is the cruelest month."
We lived in London for 17 years – our daughter was born there – so landing on British soil always feels like a homecoming of sorts. During those ex-pat years we always rented a cottage, in a different part of the country, during that unique British stillness that falls between Christmas and New Year. Historic cottages are easily had through the National Trust and English Heritage.
But one corner of Britain we never explored during our posting in London, much to our regret, was the Lake District of Cumbria. It's home to Britain's highest peaks and deepest lakes, and inspired early 19th century writers like William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, collectively known as the Lake Poets.
So this April my wife and I made our pilgrimage to the northwest corner of England. Insiders recommended that we secure a room at either The Cuckoo Brow Inn, The Drunken Duck Inn, Kirkstile Inn, L'Enclume, or The Punch Bowl Inn. Every room was taken; disappointed, we checked into Applegarth Villa, a five-star bed-and-breakfast in the town of Windermere and overlooking the lake.
Written with Barron's wit and often contrarian perspective, Penta provides the affluent with advice on how to navigate the world of wealth management, how to make savvy acquisitions ranging from vintage watches to second homes, and how to smartly manage family dynamics.
Richard C. Morais, Penta's editor, was Forbes magazine's longest serving foreign correspondent, has won multiple Business Journalist Of The Year Awards, and is the author of two novels: The Hundred-Foot Journey and Buddhaland, Brooklyn. Sonia Talati is Penta's reporter about town, both online and for the magazine. She previously worked for the Wall Street Journal and various television station affiliates around the country. Sonia has a B.A. in economics from the University of California, Los Angeles, and an M.A. from Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.


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Students have a berry good time
"Natanya Johnson serves up a huckleberry pancake to first grader Jessica Dunn. Johnson, along with other AmeriCorps team members, made the pancakes with berries picked by the students.Matt Johnson / staff photosHuckleberries become a science lessonDr. Huckle and Dr. Berry were hard at work in the woods Monday.Leading more than 20 first graders through woodland trails behind the South Whidbey Intermediate School, the two young doctors taught the children everything anyone would want to know about huckleberries -- a common shrub in young, Whidbey Island forests. The two doctors, actually local AmeriCorps team members Tony Napolentano and Patrick Helm, did not have to do much teaching about one huckleberry fact: the berries taste good.The outing was on the second of two days of the second annual Huckleberry Festival at the South Whidbey intermediate and primary schools. Scores of children trooped out to the school district's woodlands during the festival to pick tens of pints of berries and to learn about forest ecology.The forest, which was clearcut about 10 years ago, is a story of natural recovery. Seeded with trees by students and volunteers, the land is covered with 5- and 10-foot trees and many low bushes and shrubs that cannot survive in a full-grown forest. The huckleberry is one of those plants. Huckleberry bushes grow thick in the little forest and produce huge amounts of berries every fall.While in the woods, Irene Talbot's first-grade class could almost hear the bushes growing and producing berries, thanks in part to descriptions provided Dr. Huckle and Dr. Berry, and by a woodland fairy played by AmeriCorps' Jessica Raymond.Dressed in flowing pink and brown garb, Raymond spoke about the bushes as though they were people.This bush is so loud, she said to the children. Can't you hear it?Raymond explained how the plant's roots, branches, leaves and berries all work together to keep it and its species alive. She sang songs with the children about the huckleberries, and about the trees and animals that surrounded them.Of course, a few of the students' minds were drifting back to their favorite aspect of the huckleberry -- the taste. Earlier in the day, the students pulled the stems off the berries they'd harvested during a walk through the woods. Then they ate huckleberry pancakes prepared by the AmeriCorps team. Some of the students, like Chris Van Riper, would have been happy just with the berries.I can't stop eating them, he said, popping the berries in his mouth as fast as he could.Other students were not prepared for the sweet and tart of huckleberry pancakes. Although she enjoyed eating the berries off the bush, Jessica Dunn said did not like them once they were cooked into pancakes. She told her teacher they would be better with maple syrup.AmeriCorps team leaders Will Black and Tom Sanford said educational days like those during the Huckleberry Festival will be the focus of this year's AmeriCorps team. Last year's team concentrated on work projects, such as building trails in the school district's forest and at Possession Point Park. The team's members specialize in outdoor education. "
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Five Best Books on the Progressive Era
1. Twenty Years at Hull House
By Jane Addams
Macmillan, 1910
Social and political activist Jane Addams penned this book in her 50th year, aiming to "trace the experiences through which various conclusions were forced upon me." As that vow suggests, the memoir overlooks Addams's agency at every turn, so that the reader has little sense of her accomplishments. With the observant eye of a novelist, Addams attends instead to her confusions and self-doubts and the struggles of those who lived in the working-class neighborhood of her Chicago settlement house, a forerunner of the community center. She describes her anguish over the violence used to put down strikes, and she relates stories about neighbors' frustrations with the problems of poverty. Along the way, Addams enlists the reader's imagination to teach lessons from human experience. In seeking to bridge the class divide, this memoir was in itself an act of reform.
2. Theodore Roosevelt: An Autobiography
Macmillan, 1913
If a man thinks he should strive in "the battle of life," as Theodore Roosevelt did, then the autobiography he produces may well be a story of battles, defeats and triumphs. And Roosevelt's is. Writing in 1913, fresh from his defeat as the presidential nominee of the newly created Progressive Party, Roosevelt restored his battered self-esteem and contributed to the historical record with this lively, opinionated account of his life from birth to his departure from the White House in 1909. Roosevelt, the author of more than 25 previous books, was a professional writer always in control of his pen; he omits much intentionally and, like many memoirists, generally takes his own side. But he writes with clarity and verve, and his ideas about the role of government in the economy and about achieving justice for workers are always more complicated than the anti-business or anti-labor stereotypes of him suggest.
3. The Autobiography of Lincoln Steffens
Harcourt, Brace, 1931
The famous muckraking journalist Lincoln Steffens spent his Sacramento childhood on horseback, riding free in all directions, sometimes lost in his imagined role as Napoleon or Richard the Lion-Hearted. The boy's dreaminess became the man's. His idealism fueled his groundbreaking articles and books about municipal political corruption, his fascination with socialism, and his later romances with revolution and communism. But his studies of politics also made him respect the shrewdness, practicality and personal integrity of the working-class bosses who really ran the cities. One must look elsewhere than this sometimes lyrical, sometimes hard-hitting life story to learn of Steffens's reputation as a "crank" who carried ideas too far. His vivid depiction of life as a big-city reporter and of his encounters with men like Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson make this an absorbing memoir.
4. All in the Day's Work
By Ida M. Tarbell
Macmillan, 1939
Remarkably, the first widely respected investigative journalist in the U.S., and the person credited with inventing the paper-trail school of journalism, was a woman. Ida Tarbell launched the approach with her 19 investigative articles (later expanded and published as "The History of Standard Oil Company") that helped to end John D. Rockefeller's oil-industry monopoly. Her passion stemmed from growing up in northwestern Pennsylvania: She writes of witnessing firsthand the suffering that Standard Oil brought to small businessmen, like her father, who worked in the oil business. The book is best at revealing her fair but dogged methods of "getting the facts."
5. The Autobiography of William Allen White
Macmillan, 1946
William Allen White was the editor of a smalltown newspaper—the Emporia Gazette in Kansas—who nonetheless knew everyone of importance on the national stage and never missed a historic event if he could help it. Exuberant, politically shrewd and full of opinions, he helped found the Progressive Party in Kansas, worked behind the scenes for Theodore Roosevelt at the 1912 Progressive Party Convention and even ran for governor of Kansas in the 1920s. He was a lively stylist with a reporter's eye for detail—the young Roosevelt is described as "hard muscled, hard-voiced, even when the voice cracked in falsetto, with hard wriggling jaw muscles and snapping teeth, even when he cackled in raucous glee." The book is hard to put down.
—Ms. Knight's "Jane Addams: Spirit in Action" has just been published.


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With a stay at Hotel Le Isole, you'll be centrally located in Venice, steps from Church of San Zaccaria and San Zaccaria Waterbus. This hotel is close to St. Mark's Basilica and Rialto Bridge.
Make yourself at home in one of the 13 individually furnished guestrooms, featuring minibars (stocked with some free items) and LCD televisions. Complimentary wireless Internet access keeps you connected, and satellite programming is available for your entertainment. Private bathrooms with shower/tub combinations feature rainfall showerheads and designer toiletries. Conveniences include phones, as well as laptop-compatible safes and desks.
Make use of convenient amenities such as complimentary wireless Internet access, concierge services, and babysitting/childcare (surcharge).
Enjoy a bite to eat at a coffee shop/café, or stay in and take advantage of the hotel's room service (during limited hours).
Business, Other Amenities
Featured amenities include a computer station, express check-in, and express check-out.


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$9.99Rachel Carson's Silent Spring was first published in three serialized excerpts in the New Yorker in June of 1962. The book appeared in September of that year and the outcry that followed its publication forced the banning of DDT and spurred revolutionary changes in the laws affecting our air, land, and water. Carson's passionate concern for the future of our planet reverberated powerfully
$14.39From the most celebrated heir to Darwin comes a groundbreaking book on evolution, the summa work of Edward O. Wilson's legendary career.Where did we come from? What are we? Where are we going? In a generational work of clarity and passion, one of our greatest living scientists directly addresses these three fundamental questions of religion, philosophy, and science while "overturning the famous
The Meaning of Human ExistenceNational Book Award Finalist. How did humanity originate and why does a species like ours exist on this planet? Do we have a special place, even a destiny in the universe? Where are we going, and perhaps, the most difficult question of all, "Why?" In The Meaning of Human Existence, his most philosophical work to date, Pulitzer Prize–winning biologist Edward O. Wilson grapples with these and other
$11.99The two-time Pulitzer Prize–winning biologist delivers "an astonishing literary achievement" (Anthony Gottlieb, The Economist).Winner of the 2010 Heartland Prize, Anthill follows the thrilling adventures of a modern-day Huck Finn, enthralled with the "strange, beautiful, and elegant" world of his native Nokobee County. But as developers begin to threaten the endangered marshlands around which he
$11.99One of the world's most important scientists, Edward O. Wilson is also an abundantly talented writer who has twice won the Pulitzer Prize. In this, his most personal and timely book to date, he assesses the precarious state of our environment, examining the mass extinctions occurring in our time and the natural treasures we are about to lose forever. Yet, rather than eschewing doomsday prophesies,
$11.19Pulitzer Prize–winning biologist Edward O. Wilson imparts the wisdom of his storied career to the next generation.Edward O. Wilson has distilled sixty years of teaching into a book for students, young and old. Reflecting on his coming-of-age in the South as a Boy Scout and a lover of ants and butterflies, Wilson threads these twenty-one letters, each richly illustrated, with autobiographical
The Leafcutter Ants: Civilization by InstinctFrom the Pulitzer Prize-winning authors of The Ants comes this dynamic and visually spectacular portrait of Earth's ultimate superorganism.The Leafcutter Ants is the most detailed and authoritative description of any ant species ever produced. With a text suitable for both a lay and a scientific audience, the book provides an unforgettable tour of Earth's most evolved animal societies. Each colony
The Creation: An Appeal to Save Life on EarthThe book that launched a movement: "Wilson speaks with a humane eloquence which calls to us all" (Oliver Sacks).Called "one of the greatest men alive" by The Times of London, E. O. Wilson proposes an historic partnership between scientists and religious leaders to preserve Earth's rapidly vanishing biodiversity.
Half-Earth: Our Planet's Fight for LifeHalf-Earth proposes an achievable plan to save our imperiled biosphere: devote half the surface of the Earth to nature. In order to stave off the mass extinction of species, including our own, we must move swiftly to preserve the biodiversity of our planet, says Edward O. Wilson in his most impassioned book to date. Half-Earth argues that the situation facing us is too large to be solved piecemeal
$49.99"Biophilia" is the term coined by Edward O. Wilson to describe what he believes is humanity's innate affinity for the natural world. In his landmark book Biophilia, he examined how our tendency to focus on life and lifelike processes might be a biologically based need, integral to our development as individuals and as a species. That idea has caught the imagination of diverse thinkers.The
Why We (Usually) Follow the Golden RuleWe remember the admonition of our mothers: "Treat others as you want them to treat you." But what if being nice was something we were inclined by nature to do anyway? Renowned neuroscientist Donald Pfaff upends our entire understanding of ethics and social contracts with an intriguing proposition: the Golden Rule is hardwired into the human brain. Pfaff, the researcher who first discovered the
The Boy Who Loved Ants: Edward O.Wilson*** As a boy, famed scientist Edward O. Wilson spent his happiest days outdoors hunting for fish, snakes, and bugs in Florida and Alabama. Drawing from Wilson's autobiography Naturalist, author Sara van Dyck shows how the shy boy who loved ants grew into the man who became a world leader in nature conservation. He believes that there is always more to discover and has dedicated himself to


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Anyone have this problem: High pitched echo from headliner speakers?
I have the "premium Alpine" system but I changed out the dash and front door speakers for the Mopar Kicker and added the Mopar Kicker 10" Sub (still have OE amp for speakers). It seems recently that my headliner speakers have started producing a high pitched echo that has become very annoying. I thought that maybe I had just blown the speakers so ordered new ones but still have the same issues. I tried plugging in the larger dash speakers just to see if that changed it but still same problem. Im not really sure what to do now and I don't want to spend the money trying to add new speakers if that doesn't work. It seems most prevelant when I'm listening to Sat radio. Anyone else experience this?
It's hard too tell from the description (I know it's like describing that noise to your mechanic LOL) but it sounds like maybe a Room Enhancement Mode might be engaged in a DSP setting and they never work properly. Or Maybe there is to much delay on the tweeters.
Fiddle with the Sound Enhancement Modes, If it's a delay thing you might need to find an advanced menu or time alignment or delay menu.
If this is no help at all get back to me with a Model # of the head unit so I can look it up online.
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Germans beat Brits to world naked sledging title
DPA/The Local · 17 Feb 2014, 11:03
Published: 17 Feb 2014 11:03 GMT+01:00
- Horse moves into home and won't leave (13 Feb 14)
- Your guide to all things German (30 Jan 14)
- Naked sledging race nipped in the bud (23 Nov 12)
Contenders, clad only in underpants, a helmet, boots and gloves, contended for the fastest time, sliding down a custom-built 25-metre ramp of artificial snow on an inflated rubber ring.
Anika Langsfeld, 24, from Saxony-Anhalt became the women's world naked sledging champion, beating 20 competitors from various countries at the bizarre competition held near Magdeburg.
While the 13 degree C temperatures may not have been too punishing, the topless would-be-champions tried their luck in front of around 8,000 spectators on artificial snow.
CLICK HERE for photos from the contest
Germany's reigning "jungle queen" Melanie Müller from Leipzig, who became the latest winner of the German version of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!" in early February, lost out in the semi-finals.
And this year the event featured its first ever British team, according to website Chilli Sauce.
It reported it had recruited plucky Brits, Holly Garshong, 29, and 21-year-old soldier Thomas Chrusciel out of over 500 applicants.
But the British were swiftly dispatched by the competition with Garshong knocked out in the first round by home favourite Müller.
Chrusciel fell in the second round to 25-year-old Maurice Berg from Lower Saxony, who went on to win the men's competition. The winners won €1,000 each.
For more news from Germany, join us on Facebook and Twitter.


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All Articles Tagged "titles"
The Road To The Altar: Do You Call Your In-Laws "Mom" And "Dad"? Because I Don't Want To
I probably don't always show it in their presence, but I love my mom and dad. Like, I love them to death. They're not only my parents but at this stage in my life, now that there is a distance between us with me living in New York while they are still in Chicago, they're like my close friends. I talk to them about just about everything, and I'm the child they say calls most consistently. I get some snarky comments about my bond with my parents from my siblings, but what can I say? I'm the baby of the family. And my parents just love me more than them.
Just kidding!
But seriously, my connection with my parents is part of the reason I feel weird about the idea of calling my fiancé's parents "mom" and "dad." Lovely people, they truly are, but it almost feels like a slap in the face to my biological mom and dad.
It all started when I visited with my fiancé's parents a couple of weeks ago to get measured for an aso oke for our wedding. When referring to my fiancé's father while he was knocked out on the couch taking a nap, I called him "Mr. ___." To which, his wife, my future mother-in-law, responded with "Who?"
When I repeated what I said, albeit a little nervous as I felt I had said something wrong, with a confused expression, she looked me square in the eyes and said, "That's daddy. I'm mommy. We're family now."
The way she addressed me wasn't aggressive or creepy at all, but those two words, "daddy" and "mommy," literally threw me off. So I just responded with "Yes, ma'am," a smile and a nod, and carried on with other conversations with her. But it stuck in my head for days. Weeks actually. Right up to now, as I write this, I've been thinking about it. Yes, I'm obsessive like that.
As Nigerians, it's common to call elder women "mommy," older sisters "Auntie ___," and men in general "Brother ___," including your actual brother. But did I mention that I'm an unconventional Nigerian in these streets? My dad didn't really teach us our language (Bini). He didn't tell us we had to curtsey to our elders. And we used to call our aunts and uncles "Aunt ___ " or "Uncle ___," instead of just auntie or uncle, which I was later told was disrespectful by a relative. Excuuuuuse me.
Maybe if I had known all these things and practiced them from a young age, I would have no issue calling my future in-laws "mommy" and "daddy." But as it stands, a.k.a., me being who I am, it feels like I'm betraying my real mom and dad.
There's just something odd about bestowing individuals with the title of Mom and Dad when they had no role in providing for me, raising me or supporting me through the ups and downs of my life. They didn't shed any tears for me. They didn't work long hours to put food in front of me or send me to college. They didn't give up their opportunities and jobs to be a stay-at-home mom for my siblings and I. They didn't clean my wounds. They didn't wait up late for me on prom night, or any other night when I came home late. They didn't give me my first job selling traditional Ankara-fabric clothing and handmade jewelry at festivals in the city. They didn't teach me to drive. They didn't come to my volleyball games, basketball games, choir or band performances, or my chess matches. (YES, I was in the chess club. You don't want these hands.) They didn't stay strong and go on for me after my brother died. They didn't call and support me during my breakdown freshman year of college. And they didn't drive 13 hours with me, and all my things, to New York City when I told them I had a dream I wanted to fulfill.
They're not my mom and dad. Or "ma" and "daddy" as I call them.
They will be, in another way. And if I'm lucky, I will probably create a bond with them that will allow me to feel comfortable with them. To say that I love them. To call them weekly. And to not have a second thought when it comes to calling them my parents. But we're not there yet.
People might think it's easy to up and call someone whatever they ask you to refer to them by, but some titles come with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears behind them. And in most cases, they need to be earned through trust and time together. This is just the beginning…
Tags:in-laws, the road to the altar, titles
Ask A Very Smart Brotha: We've Been Living Together For A Year, Why Won't He Commit?
You asked and Damon answered. Today during our biweekly live chat, Damon Young of Very Smart Brothas answered several relationship questions regarding commitment, dating and living together. Check out the questions and the responses on the next few pages.
Fight For The Film Title: Lee Daniels May Have To Change The Name Of His New Movie "The Butler"
I'm sure that most of you have seen a preview, still photos or at the very least, heard about Lee Daniels' new movie, The Butler.
But by the time it is actually released, there's a chance that the movie will have a different name.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the Motion Picture Association of America's (MPPA) Title Registration Bureau ruled that the film's production company, The Weinstein Company, could not use the title for the movie, primarily due to violations on how titles are approved.
This all stems from Warner Bros. filing a claim against TWC saying that they have a movie of the same title, released in 1916, which has been designated as a permanent original release since May 2010 – before TWC every started promoting the Lee Daniels film.
Warner Bros. lawyer, John Spiegel, stated that TWC started promoting their version of The Butler in September 2010 – before they ever got the title registered. When their request was denied by MPAA (presumable because there's already a title of the same name), Spiegel says TWC waited four months before reaching out to Warner Bros. for a waiver. In the film industry, plenty of movies have the same name; the process, however, is that the film company that would like to use the title must first get permission and a signed waiver from the original owner of the title in order to use it. Warner Bros. denied TWC from using it (they feel that TWC thinks they're exempt from all the rules) but they continued anyway.
Lee Daniels has since written a personal letter to Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara asking him to allow them to use the title; Tsujihara responded in a private letter and although it wasn't published, most believe the answer was "no."
In their version of the story, The Weinstein Company says they continued to use the title because an executive at Warner Bros. told them they didn't forsee any problems with them using the name. Apparently, that wasn't true.
Warner Bros. says they told executives that they could still use the word 'butler' but slightly change the name; in fact, they say, TWC could have used the title Lee Daniels' The Butler and they would not have contested it. Instead, they say, TWC used illegal practices and now they want to shut it down completely.
The final ruling from MPAA came down July 2nd and The Weinstein Company will face a $25,000 per day fine for continuing to use the title.
The Butler, or whatever it will eventually be called, opens in theaters on August 16th.
Tags:lee daniels, mariah carey, movies, oprah, The Butler, titles, Warner Bros
Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Is A Label Really All That Important?
Hi Damon,
I've been seeing this man for six months. I really like him and we spend a lot of time together going on dates etc. We've even had discussions about being monogamous. We've agreed that neither one of us will date or sleep with anyone else. Yet he refuses to give me the title of "girlfriend." I've explicitly told him that the title is important to me because I think it teaches people how to act in the relationship and with others. But he has yet to ask me to be his girlfriend. I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable. Is a title really all that important? But I'm concerned because he's said that the next woman he dates he plans on marrying. Which left a bitter taste in my mouth. Should I leave him alone or am I placing more importance on titles than necessary?
Living For A Label
Be Honest: Are You Chasing A Title Or A Relationship?
In college, life was in a stage of transition. We are transitioning in our academics, and we're transitioning within ourselves. We go through so many changes and these have an impact our relationships. Our wants and needs in relationships can change as well. In college, we forged many new relationships with each other. It is also often said that you'll meet some of your lifelong friends in college.
In college, we built strong bonds with people; some of which are translated romantically. The nature of your relationship with someone really depended on whatever medium the two of you meet. When I say medium I am referring to an agreement or compromise. To be clear; relationships and titles were two totally different things.
Were you engrossed in the feeling and validation of a title? I.e. being a boyfriend or girlfriend — or do you appreciate a companionship more? The truth is, back in college, there were many people with titles on their relationship so that others could define what they had. It gave you a sense of security if you were not sure what you meant to someone.
Titles offer validation, some authenticity; just like a title on a car or deed on an apartment. By no means am I against the institution of a relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend, but such relationships must be forged in the right spirit. You want both parties to be willing and able to contribute the way that they should.
Your relationship is really where things happen. Your relationship is the foundation, which should be higher on your priority list. Your relationship is the bond you share with someone and to me, is the core of anything resembling a title. I say that to say this, a relationship may allow more flexibility than a title. Believe it or not, titles conjure up some obligations that aren't always able to be met. Although these obligations may be few they may be hard to always keep up.
Read more on SingleBlackMale.org
Tags:dating, relationships, single black male, titles
Ask A Very Smart Brotha: In A Relationship, Does Your Partner "Own" You?
Hi Damon,
I recently started seeing this guy. Right now, it's not anything serious. I'm just enjoying his company. Anyways, in one of our conversations he mentioned that he doesn't particularly like titles in a relationship because then people start feeling like they own one another. Initially, I thought he was being ridiculous– of course you can't own another person. But the more I talked to others in committed relationships they started speaking about the expectations and even the way their lives included other restrictions once they were in a relationship. For instance, one woman said her boyfriend doesn't like for her to wear certain types of revealing clothing when he's not around. Do you think there's any truth to this "owning" people thing?
As we speak, the Supreme Court is hearing arguments about same-sex marriage. And, regardless of where you stand on this issue, it's easy to recognize that the main point of contention isn't necessarily just about equal rights but the idea that same sex marriages should recognized as marriages. Not civil unions, not partnerships, but marriages. Basically, the label, that "insignificant" word, matters.
Lastly, I know (some) people will take issue with the implication that a person in a relationship has the right to "tell their mate what to do." But, if you look at relationships like jobs—with contracts and clear/defined job descriptions—then it makes more sense. Some people are okay with relationships where things might be a little more controlling, a little more limiting. Others aren't. This is why it's paramount to have clear expectations before entering a relationship—a clear understanding of what each person thinks it terms of how a mate should and shouldn't act. Now, if a person completely changes up once titles come into the picture, that (obviously) is cause for the "contract" to be restructured or rendered obsolete. But, aside from abusive situations, if both parties are happy—and have an agreed upon set of behaviors—there really is no "right" or "wrong" way to be in a relationship. Lemme put it this way: Being told what to wear may seem too controlling. I mean, who needs to be told what to wear?
But, what if you were blind?
Why "It's Complicated" Is Just Foolish
Yesterday Jazmine Denise Rogers reported that that despite years worth of stories of a relationship between Ashanti and Nelly and then a rumored breakup of this said relationship, Ashanti set the record straight, by telling radio DJ Sway, ""Who said we had a relationship?…"
First whenever I read about Ashanti, I always think of that track where she (and her team) masterfully flipped Biggie's smash hit,"One More Chance," (originally DeBarge's "Stay With Me"), to "Foolish" describing how stupid we can be over some dude. And then that always makes me think about a saying I once heard, "Youth is wasted on the young."
Ironically, it was an ex-boyfriend, who told me that. He was ten years my senior. He also said those words belong to George Bernard Shaw. Back then I took it as an insult, which is why we are probably not together anymore. But now, a little older, I definitely "get it." I was strong, vital and in my best physically but I lacked both wisdom and at times, basic common sense. I could have saved myself a lot of heart ache and unnecessary stress, if I knew about life – and more specifically love – then than I do now.
Years ago, I was having an awkward phone conversation with my father about a guy I was seeing. I normally don't discuss the guys I date with my dad. We just don't have that type of relationship where I felt comfortable to let my guard down to share. He wanted to know if I had a boyfriend. I told him I had a "friend." I heard him sigh and then he said something to the effect of, "that's the problem with your generation, you don't know how to properly define yourselves. You call relationships any-and everything but relationship even though you do this and that."
This and that, was my father's coded way of saying "sex" but without having to acknowledge that he once little girl wasn't a little girl anymore. Nevertheless, I was irked. For one, I felt like he had no right to make a judgment about the guy I was dating, for whom he had never met. And secondly, how could you hold my relationship in judgment when I was conceived out of one of those "friendly" affairs? Sort of in the spirit of Sade's Babyfather? But that's where his unsolicited advice came from: the experience. You know, the whole "youth wasted" saying?
Mainly because he was partially right: I made the mistake of telling my "friend" that I wanted more. It was nothing something that had sprung up over night. To be honest, I had always wanted more from him. He told me then that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship. And after six-months of hanging out in that gray area, not much had changed. "I'm just not into that right now. I got a lot on my mind right now. You know, my baby mom; I'm not exactly where I want to be in life; emotionally I'm just messed up, right now…" blah, blah blah. Basically, he was saying that despite spending time with and being sexually intimate with you, I'm just not that in to you. If I was, I probably wouldn't be seeing all these other women besides you.
But I really liked him. Or I thought I did. Looking back, it was probably out of fear of rejection combined with fear of being alone. And I accepted it because I wanted to believe that if I just held on that one day, he would change his mind. I wouldn't let the thought cross my mind that he might be using his baby mom as an excuse. For what? Who cares? Point is, he wasn't being totally honest. And if I am truthful, I wasn't being honest neither.
I was dishonest with him for leading him to believe that this complicated situation we had was okay with me. But more importantly, I was dishonest with myself. Despite how Musiq Soulchild makes it sound, being "friends" with someone you want more from ain't always sunny. In fact, it's a very uneven relationship where the power dynamic didn't bend in my favor. Simple couple decisions, like when and how you should meet, become non-negotiable for me. For the most part I felt powerless. And the emotional stress from my chosen indentured servitude started to take a physical toll including being marked by anxiety and bouts of depression. For me, our friendly relationship became very unhealthy. And lying to myself about the affect it was having on me was the equivalent of labeling flu-like symptoms as "just a cough."
Being honest with myself meant knowing how to articulate – and most importantly stand by – what I wanted in a relationship. If you're not into a relationship, than by all means, don't have one. In fact, I would suggest you don't. However, if a relationship is what you want, don't settle for him (or her) calling you – as well as being – anything and everything but. Sure, it is not going to be pleasant. And you might have to cut ties and spend time alone.
But being alone ain't that bad, especially when you learn to love yourself. Then you realize just how much fun you really are. I think my overall point is that, life is too short to be on some friendly, aka Ashanti Foolish, aka Biggie's One More Chance, mess – if you don't have to.
Don't Ever Talk To A Guy Who Says He Just Has A Friend
People love to tell you that women cannot stop running their mouths. And I'm not really here to argue that women don't generally talk more than men. What I am arguing though, is that every once in a while, you'll stumble across a man who does a whole lot of chatting, often to his own detriment. I ran into someone like this, this past week when I went to get my hair done. My hairdresser just so happened to be a male this time and homeboy said more than he should have. Without any prompting from me, this 45 year old man started talking about his career goals. His long term goals were to be an architect; but in the interim, he was going to stack money by doing hair at the shop and in his house… well, not exactly his house, it was his friend's. He made sure that I knew it was a female friend. (As if that made the situation any better.) This friend of his not only opened up her home to him as a residence, she told him that he could make a little money on the side by doing hair there. She even offered to install a washing bowl in her home. He declined. That was a bit much. Well, that seemed like a lot of support to me. So I said, "That was nice of your friend." That's when he told the truth about his "friendship."
"Well, if she were here, I'd have to call her my girlfriend."
"So is she your girlfriend or not?"
"Well, you know…we…you know we…yeah she's my girlfriend."
At this point, I had officially written him off as a shady character; but just because I was done with him, didn't mean he was done talking. A few minutes later, he was telling me about a woman he knew who recently published a book. After promoting her book, he said, "I could call her my girlfriend too. We…you know, we…"
Ugh. So done with you sir. At this point I was silently praying that all shady, no good, low down dirty vibes would not be transmitted into my hair.
Not only was he talking too much in general, the gall of him to be speaking about his triflin' ways in front of another woman was… not very smart. It wasn't smart for him speaking like that in front of me and it wasn't smart discussing the intimate details of his personal life with a client. Here is this woman going out of her way to support his dreams and he couldn't be honest about how he saw her in their relationship. Do you think if she knew homeboy was calling her a friend in the street, she'd even think about offering to install a whole sink in her home, let alone allow him to stay in her house? Probably not. I'd bet she's thinking she is doing all of this for her man, not her friend. Just be honest. But then he might run the risk of being homeless out here…and it's wintertime.
For me, it just served as another warning that these men out here, even if they're in their 40's, can be scandalous. I suggest you heed the warning as well. You can't always know how your man is describing your relationship when you're not around; liars will be liars. But until you're absolutely sure that you both agree on the nature of your relationship, don't inconvenience yourself or allow yourself to be used by a man who's just a friend.
Tags:lying men, relationship titles, shady men, titles
"Don't Call Me a Baby Mama!" What's Really In A Name?
As you all know from my first "Where Are They Now" articles, I was a fan of what I like to call "VH1's Golden Age of Reality Television." Not only did I watch (and own) all the seasons of Flavor of Love, I Love New York, For the Love of Ray J and I Love Money, I was also a fan of Rock of Love. But one of the things that always struck me as odd were the high number of strippers on the show; however, when confronted, they would say, "I'm a dancer." Unlike my confusion of what an exotic dancer was when I was younger, I couldn't understand why the women would insist on the word "dancer," and get offended if someone called them a stripper. I mean, if you take your clothes off for money then you're a stripper, right?
It wasn't until a little while ago when my ex-husband called while he was around his family and I heard someone yell, "Who you talking to," and he responded with "My baby mama." I was so insulted! He came back to the phone, we finished the conversation (with some definite ice on my end) and then hung up. With the same look that Regina King had on Poetic Justice after Joe Torry punched her (mouth agape and slowly shaking her head from side to side), I grabbed my phone to call one of my best friends to tell her what happened. In the middle of hitting my speed dial, I stopped. I mean, what did he really do that was wrong? He didn't openly disrespect me. He didn't call me the slang version of a female dog. He just called me his "baby mama." But why was I so offended by it?
I started thinking about how politically correct our society has gotten. In a restaurant, you're not supposed to call the person who takes your order a waiter anymore, they're your server. The people who help you to your seat on an airplane and tell you what to do in an emergency are no longer stewardesses, they're flight attendants. When you call an office, the person who answers the phone and take messages are no longer secretaries, they're administrative assistants. Why the change? Because the former titles had a slightly negative connotation to them. You see this happen all the time in society.
I started realizing that the reason why I was so taken aback is because the term "Baby Mama" (besides the fact that it is grammatically incorrect – it should be baby's mama, but whatever) has such a negative connotation to me. My mind immediately went to those girls who have their baby on their hip, parking lot pimping at the local gas station during the day and collecting a child support check or a "crazy check"/disability check in lieu of working. Their babies are crying because they want to be home and the hair is sticking up on the toddlers' heads while their mother continues to talk (with her luxurious new weave) to her girlfriends and check out the dudes who were also parking lot pimping in the middle of the day.
That phrase just seemed to remove all of the positive things I've done in my life. It doesn't address the fact that we were actually married at one time, and I'm a working college graduate. Though descriptive in its basic form (yes, I am the mother to his child), it's still offensive to me. Not wanting to create a fuss by telling him not to call me that anymore (because then that'll be "Baby Mama Drama"), I just left it alone. But I will say this: instead of wondering, "what's the big deal," if someone is insistent on being called a title, I'll abide now. Dancers, servers, administrative assistants, I feel you now. I really do.
You can call Kendra Koger a bunch of things, just do it on her twitter @kkoger.
Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live: Signing Papers & Dating Younger Men
Shari: As a slightly older female, how should I go about dealing with a guy who is younger than me?…The attraction is there, but I'm a little hesitant because I've always been into older men? Thanks.
DY: The answer depends on how much younger he is than you. If it's a few years, I don't think things would be much different than dating a guy a bit older than you. If it's over a decade or so, though, you run an increased risk that the guy isn't in the same "place" you are, and isn't looking for the same things from a relationship. Either way, I'd advise you to proceed the same way you should with anyone else — with caution.


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Bring Back Penn Station
Let New York's rail hub be a temple—not a rats' nest of tunnels.
Please join us and help support our next foreign policy conference.
So-called "humanitarian" EU policies are exacerbating migration problems in Africa.
Deploying an army of stars in the nation's darkening skies
Words on the Street highlights the week's best writing on cities.
Progressives can't embrace identity politics for certain groups without implicitly sanctioning them for others
The U.S. shouldn't keep its forces where they aren't wanted, and it shouldn't want to keep security dependents that no longer desire our presence.
Thousands of private contractors are in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now they may be in Syria, too.
If more Republicans are souring on "internationalism" in foreign policy, that's the least surprising development of all.
The Trump Tapes reveal a soulless bully with contempt for the weak
Must we go to war over rocks in the South China Sea?
The nuclear deal wasn't going to be an issue that determined many votes.
Russell Moore's generation-defining Erasmus Lecture inaugurates a new era for American religious conservatism
McMullin is an anti-Trump candidate whose main appeal is to Republicans that remain deeply committed to a very aggressive foreign policy.
She accused a rival nominee of being a stealth agent of a foreign power.
The coming civil disobedience from orthodox Christians who refuse any longer to shore up the decadent imperium
The idea that Obama has pursued "indefatigable sponsorship of Iran" is a lazy smear that is utterly divorced from reality.
The Donald's defiance comes as many of his supporters have lost faith in the system.
Against the corrupting view from the incense-filled sacristies
Increased U.S. meddling in the Middle East is presented to the public as if it were a necessary and unavoidable course of action when it is neither.
What will be with Hillary Clinton in the White House, and what might have been if Trump had not been a nut
By returning to their roots, gritty places can prosper outside established economic structures.
Is law in a liberal democracy sustainable without a tradition rooted in transcendence?
The new UK prime minister has a powerful center-right message.