text:
All Blog Posts Tagged 'out' - Atheist Nexus 2016-10-26T20:17:47Z http://atheistnexus.org/profiles/blog/feed?tag=out&xn_auth=no The "A" Word tag:atheistnexus.org,2015-03-29:2182797:BlogPost:2586771 2015-03-29T19:55:16.000Z Donald R Barbera http://atheistnexus.org/profile/drbarbera
 I have long ago grown weary of euphemisms used to blur, mislead or hide actuality. For instance, once I am dead, I died. I did not "pass on;" "go to a better place" or "transition." I died. Although, I have a personal euphemism that I like, some people would not like hearing that I "croaked." My thoughts about using…

I have long ago grown weary of euphemisms used to blur, mislead or hide actuality. For instance, once I am dead, I died. I did not "pass on;" "go to a better place" or "transition." I died. Although, I have a personal euphemism that I like, some people would not like hearing that I "croaked." My thoughts about using the word atheist are much the same.

 Although, there are different grades of disbelief or doubt of a supernatural entity controlling the universe, out of earshot, you are an atheist. That is not my pronouncement; it is just an unpleasant fact of life in the United States, as well as many other countries. Skeptic is a great word. Cynic is an even better one. Nonbeliever, agnostic, freethinker, etc. are all legitimate and fairly self-explanatory words unless ones' vocabulary is extremely unworldly and naïve. As already mentioned, self-description and public interpretation, usually fall to the easiest and most prejudiced understanding, even though the differences are clearly understood among those falling into the various categories.

 So far, I've purposely stayed away from the "A" word to "seed" the field before fertilizing, growing and harvesting the crop. The "A" word, as you already know is "atheist," a seven-letter word that strikes fear into the hearts of the ignorant and uninitiated. Thoughts of communistic heathens marauding in the streets, eating children and desecrating religious icons frightens many who believe the prejudicial and erroneous gibberish pushed by religionists.

 The plain fact is; they walk among us unknown to passersby or theist. There is no "Scarlet" letter (although the "A" would be appropriate), no racial identification or team colors to differentiate an atheist from anyone else. Nevertheless, there is no particular benefit in announcing atheism. In fact, there are considerable consequences and repercussion in revealing an atheist identity.

 I'd rather know who is a racist, than not. I feel the same about atheists, understanding that revealing it has no benefit in many situations in the United States, such as remaining employed, becoming employed or avoiding a lynch mob. In such cases, it would be foolish to jeopardize such serious considerations with an announcement of atheism.

 The above considerations aside, closet atheist s are probably the worst avoiders of their own stance, again taking into consideration the realities mentioned previously. Otherwise, I can think of no reason to avoid the word as a self-description. I feel the same about closet homosexuals, unless as mentioned before facing the serious and real repercussions that could result from such a disclosure.

Nevertheless, atheist is nothing but a word although for some people it has more meaning than its definition. That it carries more power than its seven letter indicate is a testament to the narrow-minded, shortsighted and bigoted history of the nation.

 Atheist is a noun or a descriptive adjective (it can also be used as other grammar devices) to indicate a disbelief in gods of any nature. Nevertheless, the word has carried far too much power despite the small numbers attached to the word. Another euphemism I disavow is "Brights." To me, it is just as repugnant and self-serving as, say; the "A" word is to many, but I'll save that conversation for another day.
 Born this way... tag:atheistnexus.org,2014-12-30:2182797:BlogPost:2525798 2014-12-30T17:30:05.000Z notelmotel http://atheistnexus.org/profile/notelmotel
I am an atheist; I've always been such. I was dragged to church - sometimes literally - as a child, and I hated it. I liked the singing and didn't mind the arts & crafts stuff, but the Sunday School bible lessons left me baffled.

I was too obtuse to understand that I was offending people: I asked "Why" far too often, and occasionally responded to the answer with, "But that doesn't make any sense!" I didn't understand why that offended, or maybe even get that did offend, but I…

I am an atheist; I've always been such. I was dragged to church - sometimes literally - as a child, and I hated it. I liked the singing and didn't mind the arts & crafts stuff, but the Sunday School bible lessons left me baffled.

I was too obtuse to understand that I was offending people: I asked "Why" far too often, and occasionally responded to the answer with, "But that doesn't make any sense!" I didn't understand why that offended, or maybe even get that did offend, but I surely did feel the hatred that people began to have toward me.

I finally got out of having to go to church; probably because I got old enough to stay home alone and I had worn my mother down a bit. I did not understand, until my mother was on her deathbed, that the anger and judgment I felt from my family all of my life was tied directly to my rejection of religion.

I didn't even think about rejecting religion - it was as reasonable and normal to me as rejecting astrology and mind-readers. I thought nothing of belittling that whole scene, and my family joined me in rejecting astrology and the like. I never really noticed the silence when I made cutting comments about religion.

I remember the first time I saw a "Church of the Immaculate Conception," and I laughed as only a teenage girl can. I couldn't believe anyone would seriously give a name that silly to a church! Mom didn't see the humor in that. Kind of like when I read Twain's Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.

When Mom died, I was charged with writing the obituary and eulogy. I was pleased enough with the final result, and totally taken aback when my sister blew up because I never mentioned "her faith." As though I could have found a way to spin that little character flaw so it didn't sound like a mental illness.

I gradually put that incident together with the stories I read of other atheists coming out, and the light came on, finally. I began to realize why my sister and my mother so despised me....how could I have gone on so long not understanding? I'm still not really "out" - too much depends on it, but I am really glad to be at peace with what I am.

Many thanks to Sam Harris for speaking so eloquently, and helping me to realize that the moral compass that I am told exists in the bible really is not there - I had been baffled for years by people calling this horrible book "good," and it's a huge relief to find others who see in it, the same grotesque mockery of morality that I see. It's good to find friends.
 Coming out as an Atheist to my mom. tag:atheistnexus.org,2013-02-20:2182797:BlogPost:2167770 2013-02-20T11:56:16.000Z Ronni http://atheistnexus.org/profile/Ronni
Greetings fellow non-theists!

First thing you gotta understand about this coming out story is that BOTH of my parents are ordained Christian ministers. Second you gotta realize that I already came out to her as a bisexual, a bit before I was ready, but at least I'm out now, even though it felt wrong, because I feel more .... homosexual than bisexual, but that's beside the point.

I am friends with my mom on facebook, since she lives in a different state. And we…

Greetings fellow non-theists!

First thing you gotta understand about this coming out story is that BOTH of my parents are ordained Christian ministers. Second you gotta realize that I already came out to her as a bisexual, a bit before I was ready, but at least I'm out now, even though it felt wrong, because I feel more .... homosexual than bisexual, but that's beside the point.

I am friends with my mom on facebook, since she lives in a different state. And we caught each other online so I seized the opportunity to tell her my most recent revelation that I was currently revelling in. So, I told her and she asked why. I told her that it was because, I had been or a while and just hadn't embraced it, or broadcasted it. She asked what caused this change of faith. I told her learning and reading, that it was sort of like a pandora's box, you tumble down the rabbit hole you don't come out the same. Even mentioned the quote that I still don't know the source of, but the quote is " a mind once stretched cannot return to its original dimensions." and she didn't seem to understand that I could walk around with this 'hole in my heart' where a creator could fill me up, instead of filling that 'hole' if there was one and go on a ...continue a quest for truth and knowledge and such.

In the end, she told me why she believed and that she would pray that I would find my way. Whatever that means. I think she took it rather well. But when it comes to the Reverend. My dad, who wishes he was born Jewish instead of grafted in, probably, he would probably take my copy of the God Delusion away, along with my Humanist Bible and say that I've been corrupted by one of my online friends or someone I work with and not to associate with them any more, quoting that bible verse, 'bad company corrupts good morals' or whatever. That could just be my paranoia talking, but the fact remains, I'm not going to tell him until I am not living with him and moved out on my own or with my fiance and such.

But I took a step and told one of my parents, and my coworkers know, I told my sister who is a deep christian and a biology major at a university. And yeah. Woo, just wanted to share that. It feels so right saying ' I'm an atheist' no uncertainty or anything of the sort that lingers when I say I'm bisexual, which just means I have found my spiritual label but not quite my sexual one...

Well, this blog has come to an end.

Until ...

Ronni over and out.

 Why I Stopped Believing in God tag:atheistnexus.org,2012-12-08:2182797:BlogPost:2118619 2012-12-08T18:11:55.000Z Zach Jones http://atheistnexus.org/profile/ZachJones
 I guess the title of this article is rather quite sufficient. Before I go back and delve into the many reasons why I don't believe in God anymore, I'm going to go a little over my background a little bit.

 First of all I was raised by great, Christian parents, and my youth was a pretty "normal" upbringing. I was born in 1982 and that's where we start. I remember growing up and hearing about the Genesis story and how God created the entire Earth, Moon, planets, stars,…

 I guess the title of this article is rather quite sufficient. Before I go back and delve into the many reasons why I don't believe in God anymore, I'm going to go a little over my background a little bit.

 First of all I was raised by great, Christian parents, and my youth was a pretty "normal" upbringing. I was born in 1982 and that's where we start. I remember growing up and hearing about the Genesis story and how God created the entire Earth, Moon, planets, stars, animals, etc. From what I can remember, there was never a time I wasn't immersed into Christian theologies and dogmatic practices, I thought that was normal. I was a child of five years old and remember attending a Billy Graham seminar with my parents in Denver, Colorado. We lived there because my father was stationed out of Fort Carson while serving in the U.S. Army and from what I can remember; church and Christian theologies have always been a part of our lives. Anyways, I remember being at the Billy Graham "crusade" and he had an altar call, he asked that if anyone hasn't received Jesus in their heart to come on down and say the "Sinner's prayer," and then we'd receive Jesus in our hearts and be "born again." I can remember wanting to go down there and get "saved" because all I knew, at five years old, was that I was a bad boy and that no matter what I was going to do, I'd go to hell. What's wrong with this picture? I remember going down there, saying the prayer, and feeling like something great and special happened. If I said I didn't feel anything, it'd be a lie, but I did. I saw how proud my mother and father were that I, at five years old, made the decision for myself to accept Jesus as my personal lord and savior. Looking back at this, I know why I felt that way. I didn't receive anything different in my life; it was the satisfaction that I made my mom and dad proud of me. Keep the previous statement in mind, because that will come up a lot later on. I felt like I did something great and I was really special in God's eyes.

 All throughout my youth I remember praying many occasions for various things to happen and for God to change my life, and it really was hard and difficult. I felt like no matter how hard I sought God I was missing out on something. I was missing out on a lot of things, but let's push that back a bit. I can remember moving from church to church, house to house, city to city, because my father said, "its God's plan." All throughout my youth we moved a total of thirteen times in twenty years searching for "the right place." I know this sounds a bit reminiscent of Goldilocks saying, "It's just right," but it's true. We moved so many times, uprooted us out of school, torn away from friends, just because we were chasing what God wanted us to be doing as a family. I can remember getting comfortable with our surroundings, school, and possible friends and then having to get up and move again. It really was a hard life for me, and it was grueling to be moving around so much.

 All throughout those times of moving, church shopping, and friend searching we rarely found anything up to God's standards and having to re-pack and move on out again. It wasn't until the 1990s until we started settling down. We moved into Berlin, WI and everything seemed to fall into place. I remember joining Faith Community Church, which is an offshoot of Assembly of God affiliation, and it seemed like we were home. We found a great church, great school district, and were able to settle down for once. I remember going to church every single Sunday morning, night, and Wednesday night to stay strong in my faith. I joined the youth group in FCC and started immersing myself into youth ministry and really looked forward to sharing the word of God with my friends that weren't saved at Berlin High School. It certainly was difficult then because I started making friends, good friends and now I was worried about them and going to hell. That's what every Christian is taught, no matter how good of a person someone may be, if they didn't believe in Jesus, they would die and go to hell. No matter how much I cared for my friends, I was always told that they were sinners and were going to hell.

 During that time I shared God's word many times with many of my friends then and I prayed and prayed and prayed for them and cried for them because I knew that they were going to die and go to hell. I didn't just believe that, I knew that. During that time I ended up discovering heavy metal music and I instantly fell in love with it. If anyone out there is familiar with Christianity and heavy metal's reputation can foresee that is going to be a problem. At that time I was growing up, adolescence setting in, and naturally like all teens, I started rebelling. I started questioning my faith, my life, God, everything. I started thinking that I was actually possessed by demons because I enjoyed heavy metal music. I remember many times getting into arguments with my dad because heavy metal was "demonic" and I constantly struggled with it. There were actually a few times I actually took my CDs and destroyed them to "free" myself from the addiction of heavy metal. Even though, heavy metal, helped me coping with growing up, friendships, school, and heartache, I felt like I was wrong for enjoying it so much. I struggled with this for my duration of high school and into my twenties.

 During that time I grew really fond of music and wanted to learn how to play an instrument. Of all people that really supported me in this was my best friend Kurt at the time. I ended up talking to my dad about it and he wasn't really supportive of me playing music because of the type I listened to and the type of music I wanted to play. I am so fortunate that my mom really supported me in music and it was through her I was able to get my first bass guitar and start learning to play music. It was then and there I fell in love with music. I then was later supported with music when I decided to play it at church for a worship group, but that was a little too late for me to accept that.

 Later on, when I turned 18, I started smoking cigarettes and my dad found out. I ended up getting kicked out of the house for doing that and I moved in my friend Don and his family. At that time I was out of high school and was working at Rippin' Good Cookies during the graveyard shift. I had a good time living with my friend and his family, but naturally I missed living at home. I missed my family. During that time I attended church as well out of respect to my parents, and I started losing interest in it. From my dad kicking me out of the house and the lack of compassion I have seen, I started to wonder. Why would God allow this? Why would God do this to me? I was a pretty decent kid until high school, and I wondered if I was encouraging God's wrath at the time. I then moved back home, still working, and still followed the rules at home. I didn't know what I was doing with my life then. I was still working at the factory, graveyard shift as usual, and I still had to go to church. After being up all night until seven in the morning I still needed to make it to the service and stay awake to run the P.A. system. Then I started having problems at work. I started falling asleep while driving, falling asleep on the line, and getting into trouble because I was losing out on sleep, just so I could go to church. My sense of being and soul was intact but I endangered myself and others every time I would drive to work and home after work because I would fall asleep at the wheel. I would beg and plead with my dad to let me skip church and catch the night service, but he wouldn't hear it. As long as I would be living under his roof I would follow his rules, which is understandable. That is just the beginning of my fall from God, and from church.

 After many failed job attempts and losing jobs, I finally decided to join the U.S. Navy. I wanted to go to college eventually and they had the G.I. Bill, and plus with some issues at home with my dad, I just wanted to get away. I wanted to live my life for once and be able to do what I wanted. Granted I was pretty immature for being 19 years old, I enlisted with the navy. I finally had my chance to get out of a dead end town and a dead end job market. One of the events that happened that helped make my decision to join the navy was 9/11. I remember praying about that and questioning God about that. Why let all those people die, and it turns out it was apparently God's wrath for living in our godless nation.

 So I go off and join the navy, go to boot camp and start my training. It was the first time in my life I was able to get out on my own at the time and get some structure and discipline that I desperately needed. It came up to the first Sunday we were there and found out they had a chapel there. I started attending chapel just to get away from the regular daily routine of boot camp. Everyone else stayed around the barracks to shine their boots, write letters home, and iron their uniforms. I just went to church like any good Christian would and still followed God. I then started noticing a lot of talk during the sermons about Iraq, "the enemy," praying that God would help out our brothers in arms to defeat the "bad guys" and it started to hit me. We were actually praying to kill the bad guys and for God to watch over us while killing people because they were different than us. I really started to question God, my faith, and why we were praying for that. I remembered getting mail from my family and my dad always telling me to, "Keep the faith," and it was slowly fading from me. I always said I would keep it and try harder to be a better witness for Christ so the rest of my division could see that God loved them.

 Boot camp soon ended and it was time to go to school, get my technical training, and get ready for the fleet. I was stationed in Pensacola, Florida. Then on out my faith started bleeding out like a severed artery, I actually thought that there was something wrong with me. Truth is, I was starting to get tired. I was tired of church, tired of staying up late to read the bible, tired of praying and getting no results, just tired of everything. I wanted out and I was too afraid to get out of Christianity, mainly because of my family. I never went to church once since I was stationed down in Pensacola and to be honest it was nice. Although I was in the navy, I actually started to feel free for once. Free from going to church, free from feeling obligated to read the bible, free from praying…I just felt free.

 Eventually I was stationed out in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii and I loved it. I had a great ship, great crew, great shop, great work center, and great friends. It seemed that things were working out for me for once. I started feeling bad that I wasn't going to church or praying anymore and I was eventually was sought out by some navy guys that had a home church. I went with them once and it started to feel odd. People speaking in tongues, rolling around on the ground, and just acting crazy. I then distanced myself from that guy and his friends and eventually they stopped calling me and coming to the ship looking for me. That was the last time I ever went to church.

 Finally after spending about 5 years in the navy, I got out. My wife and I decided to stay in Hawaii and make our life out here. Granted it was hard after I got out. I spent many years abusing alcohol to cope with my feelings of abandonment and feeling alone, I finally gave it up. Don't get me wrong, I still drink from time to time, I just don't abuse it anymore. Throughout that time I went into Alcoholics Anonymous and decided to get the help that I needed to kick alcohol. I thought it was a decent support group system and guess who decided to rear their head and make it into my life again, god. They preached about having a "higher power," God, giving your life over to AA and becoming a servant to their organization for life while serving them and others. It was a good concept, but after about 90 days of that, I quit AA and attained sobriety on my own for two years. During that time I didn't pray, I didn't go to church, I did it on my own. I made the choice to drink; I made the choice to not drink. God had nothing to do with it.

 During the time I started AA and my sobriety I was hit with a bombshell…after 29 years of marriage my parents were splitting up. I was told many different things on both side, and it doesn't matter anymore. At the time I was devastated, I was an emotional wreck. I started praying and seeking out god again to deal with my pain and the depression I was in. I still stayed away from alcohol, I still tried to become a Christian again, and it worked out for the time being. I actually stopped talking to my mom for about a year because she was a "sinner" and I totally cut her out of my life. After that was done for a year, I finally started talking to her and found out there are always two sides to every story. I found out where "God" really played out in this and my life and realized that God is nothing more than a lie. God is the reason my parents split up, God is the reason why I almost took my own life. God was the problem, not the solution or the answer. Also after starting college and learning about science, philosophy, and history I drew the conclusion that religion is dangerous and its followers can be dangerous as well. With all this science out there, our solar system, our universe, our galaxy, I think it is impossible for there to be a God. To think that one supernatural entity created the entire universe out of nothing is ridiculous. I no longer follow God; I am no longer a Christian.

 Ever since the wake of me walking away from Christianity and god, this is the first time in my life I feel like I am free. I am no longer weighed down by guilt nor am I forced to go to church and belong to something I don't believe in anymore. I have relaxed a lot, grew up substantially, and am finally to move on with life and finally treat all people with kindness, love, and respect. Although, as humans, we are all different and have different beliefs, I accept you for who you are and will care about you no matter your faith, sect, religion, race, sexual orientation, or whatever. I care about you for the human you are and for the life that you bring to our world and our existence. I can honestly say that in all my time in Christianity and religion, if you weren't interested in our church or converting, I wouldn't have given you the time of day and told you that you were going to hell. Now I see a person, a human, and an equal standing before me. It doesn't matter to me what you believe in or who you are, I care about you for the person that you are. That is why I don't believe in God anymore. I care too much about people and the world to let myself ever get bogged down by religion ever again.

Close

 Josephine tag:atheistnexus.org,2012-03-23:2182797:BlogPost:1898080 2012-03-23T23:03:22.000Z Godless Poutine http://atheistnexus.org/profile/GodlessPoutine
 "Surely the day will come when color means nothing more than the skin tone, when religion is seen uniquely as a way to speak one's soul; when birth places have the weight of a throw of the dice and all men are…

"Surely the day will come when color means nothing more than the skin tone, when religion is seen uniquely as a way to speak one's soul; when birth places have the weight of a throw of the dice and all men are born free, when understanding breeds love and brotherhood." - Josephine Baker

As we tick down the hours to the Reason Rally, I write about how Josephine Baker has inspired me with her many battles against fascism and racism and wonder whether she would support our cause. Would she attend the rally?

If you're interested, read the rest here: Josephine

 On "Coming Out" as an ATHEIST.... tag:atheistnexus.org,2012-01-04:2182797:BlogPost:1809752 2012-01-04T16:01:41.000Z Starland Seay http://atheistnexus.org/profile/StarlandSeay
I am 45 years old. I live in what has been called "The Buckle of The Bible Belt". Well, maybe that was true at one time…back when black and whites had separate drinking fountains and buses and schools and women all stayed at home…barefoot and pregnant and homosexuals were considered mentally ill "sodomites". But…now…in the early part of the 21st century….more people are coming out of their "closets" and apparently(and fortunately) the "Bible Belt" is worn out and is about to "break".…

I am 45 years old. I live in what has been called "The Buckle of The Bible Belt". Well, maybe that was true at one time…back when black and whites had separate drinking fountains and buses and schools and women all stayed at home…barefoot and pregnant and homosexuals were considered mentally ill "sodomites". But…now…in the early part of the 21st century….more people are coming out of their "closets" and apparently(and fortunately) the "Bible Belt" is worn out and is about to "break". One thing hasnt changed much here though. People here just do not understand when you tell them you are an "atheist"! You mean…."You don't believe in God? The Bible? You'll go to Hell!" and various…sometimes more hostile things are/will be said. Homosexuality and lesbianism are tolerated better here than atheism. Almost every family here has someone who is gay or who is bi or who is a lesbian….but not many friends and relatives are going to walk in at the Christmas party and say "Well…I've got something to tell you…..I don't believe in God or The Bible as his "Word" or Hell or any of that nonsense that I've heard here my entire life! I'm not even sure Jesus was actually a real person to tell the truth…and guess what? I enjoy my life a lot more without all of that shit!" (Jaws drop) Yeah…and where I live, there are still peckerheads around who belong to the Klan or other groups of fucking idiots who "represent" their idea of "Gawd" and who would not mind to burn a cross just for the hell of it (while they swill their Bud Light beers and use child support money to buy cigarettes). There are churches (mostly baptist) almost everywhere you look here and they are full of people whose family always has went there and their kids and their kids go there too…and they just whisper about "so in so" there who doesnt believe in Gawd and must be a satanist or a homosexual or a child molester etc etc. One thing that does help is the internet. I have a Facebook profile and gradually have been coming out as an atheist. My "religious views" say ATHEIST…and so I am sure that my "friends" will get the picture. Some will (have) dropped me but most have not (believe it or not) and I have even added some since shown to be an "infidel". I don't miss Christianity. Ted Turner once said that it was for losers. At the time I disagreed…but nowadays…it sure looks like that to me too. It is something from another age…another time…when they had no idea of evolution and science and how things actually worked. It belonged to the days when people believed in witches and magic and demons and ghosts and shadows creeping up to "punish" them for their "sins". People here don't believe in vampires or werewolves or ghosts (well for the most part) but they do believe in a book of Hebrew myths that tell them that they are cursed because a man made from clay and his wife who was made from one of his ribs…listened to a talking snake and ate from a magic tree that was forbidden ( and ironically was put there by God) and so SINNED and their sin meant that ALL OF US were DAMNED TO HELL if we didnt live according to his "Word" and did what his priests and preachers said to do…which usually amounted to giving them money money money and giving up anything fun…and seeing sex as "dirty" somehow. I now see this as the biggest mindfuck of human history. Millions and millions have lived and died for this idea….and it is a MYTH!!! Well I am not enslaved to their MYTH and their GOD any more. 2012 is the beginning of my OUT as an unbeliever. I have been on both sides and am in a dark land of ignorance…but trust me…FREEDOM is far better than dark superstition.

(originally posted in my Blog "Questioning" Jan.4th 2012)
 Ask an Atheist visibility project tag:atheistnexus.org,2011-10-11:2182797:BlogPost:1690239 2011-10-11T19:50:51.000Z Judy Saint http://atheistnexus.org/profile/JudySaint
Our local atheist group wears bright blue t-shirts with "Ask an Atheist" boldly printed front and back while we walk in pairs at events, the mall, etc. Our purpose is visibility and availability to answer questions. We've done this 3 months now, with generally supportive response. The visibility is working.

Please see http://outatheist.info for more info and photos. You will find resources in case you might consider starting such a project in…

Our local atheist group wears bright blue t-shirts with "Ask an Atheist" boldly printed front and back while we walk in pairs at events, the mall, etc. Our purpose is visibility and availability to answer questions. We've done this 3 months now, with generally supportive response. The visibility is working.

Please see http://outatheist.info for more info and photos. You will find resources in case you might consider starting such a project in your area. It's very simple, yet highly effective and rewarding. Check out the small website to see what we've done, and to see some tips if you might consider the same for your local community.

I think it's the most important thing we atheists can do right now in this country. Not all atheists are prepared to go out visibly, so I feel it is more important for those of us who can to do so. But, then, I've always been a risk-taker.

Often we have tag-along atheists who do not answer questions, but walk with us in support. In fact, we even have had believers walk along with us in support.

It's working. It's what we need, especially now in America. Join us?
 New to atheism: Coming out tag:atheistnexus.org,2011-05-29:2182797:BlogPost:1300445 2011-05-29T03:55:11.000Z Eric Keyte http://atheistnexus.org/profile/EricKeyte As published on God Hates Atheists - GodHatesAtheists.net

 Having family members who are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Catholic, or just theists in general can make for an interesting mix. But there are ways to avoid nasty conflicts to improve the situation, or maintain a good relationship with the ones you love. I can only speak about my relationship with my parents, as the one with my girlfriend's family has been somewhat strained for a… As published on God Hates Atheists - GodHatesAtheists.net

 Having family members who are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Catholic, or just theists in general can make for an interesting mix. But there are ways to avoid nasty conflicts to improve the situation, or maintain a good relationship with the ones you love. I can only speak about my relationship with my parents, as the one with my girlfriend's family has been somewhat strained for a lot of different reasons.

 Establish respect for their beliefs and demand that they respect yours

 Respect is a two-way street. It's important for you to show respect for your family still, despite the fact that you might totally and completely fundamentally disagree with what they believe. You don't have to respect their beliefs, but by not discussing them, or debating in a very non-confrontational way is the best recipe.

 If you're new to atheism, it's hard to not get hyped up about your newly-established views. You're very zealous about what you believe and don't believe, and it can be very enticing to debate. But having debates with your family isn't usually the best use of time with them. If you do have debates, it's important to remember the following:

They don't see things the way you see them. This is a more obvious point to consider.

They aren't going to change their minds even after the most compelling of arguments.

They're getting comfort and emotional support from their beliefs, church, or religious activities.

Anything you say against their faith, god, religion, or beliefs will be taken as a personal attack.

They may think that you're threatening their salvation or eternal fate by even discussing beliefs with them.

It's their duty to keep you in the faith.

 Theists take their beliefs very personally -- much more than we atheists or agnostics do. You're essentially embarking (most likely) on a fruitless journey by trying to convert them. My advice: don't do it.

 That doesn't mean that you can't take some valuable time to clear their misconceptions about atheism. After all, if they're getting all of their information from a pastor or priest, who could be scaring them with fables about how atheists eat babies and worship the devil. Nevertheless, if you do have any discussion about this, they'll probably be pretty quick to tell you what they think about atheism since there isn't really any logical argument against it.

 When you do have these conversations, be nice, and talk about what you believe and think in a positive way. And remind your family or in-laws that you're still you, but you just don't share their beliefs. Tell them that you still love them and respect them, and that you expect the same. They can't make you think or feel a certain way, but tell them that you trust that they won't be proselytizing or preaching at or to you. You will do the same. And mean it.

 Part of respecting your family members and

 It's not worth losing family over

 Hopefully your family and friends don't totally disown you, like in the case of Damon Fowler, a fresh graduate of Bastrop High School in Bastrop, Louisiana. If they do, don't lose your head over it. Just remind them that you love them and you hope that you can have a relationship with them after the shock settles. Things won't ever be back to normal, but you can always establish a "new normal".

 Your family loves you and doesn't want you to burn in hell. That's the biggest reason they want you to believe in their god or Jesus. So it doesn't make sense that they would totally cut you off. This may not be a good point to bring up in argument (you tell me...), but remind them that they said they love you, and if you're not going to be with them in heaven, to make the most of their time with you on earth.

 In all seriousness, it's not likely that theist relatives will entirely disown you, but it does happen. You will probably know how your parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are going to react if and when you tell them. If you think they'll fly off the handle and totally reject you, then just don't tell them. If you're young and you're depending on your family to provide you with a roof, hot meals, and a place to sleep, then forget it. Unless they're open-minded and accepting of others' viewpoints, it's best left alone. If they're paying for your college and you think that would jeopardize your future, then leave it alone. It's just not worth it. It's best to reveal your beliefs (or lack thereof) when you're independent and aren't relying on outside help.

 Determine when to tell them by "taking their temperature"

 If you can't stand being untrue to yourself, and just have to tell them, then start slowly. It's best to take their temperature first by talking about famous atheists around them. You might mention reading Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged", and then commenting on her religious views. Or talk about how a kid in class who's an atheist. It's wise to see how they're going to react, and you'll know immediately what they think about your atheism.

 "Coming out" is no longer a term reserved for homosexuality. Atheists have to face enormous challenges in society just for not believing in a god. 76% of people in the USA claim Christianity, while around 90% believe in a higher power. Your odds aren't great while wearing that scarlet A on your shirt.

 Are you an atheist?

 Atheism is one position you can subscribe to. But there are other labels that you can call yourself that don't sound as harsh. The most obvious is "agnostic". It's not that bad, and agnostics aren't all that different from atheists. Richard Dawkins outlines the dichotomy between atheists and agnostics in his book The God Delusion, and there is one, but it's not likely that they will know all the specifics. It's a good way to be fairly honest about yourself without dropping such a huge bomb on them. While agnosticism refers to what you know, and atheism refers to what you believe, in this case, it probably applies.

 Another term is "humanist" - call yourself a humanist, or secular humanist. Humanism speaks more directly to your position on others and your desire to create a fair playground for all. Most likely, your family members will not be very familiar with the exact definition of the term, or will just think that you're a bleeding-heart. Humanism doesn't depend on atheism, either, for many theists are also humanists. Some theists can even be secular humanists, where they believe in a god but understand that secularism is what keeps everyone free to believe what they want without unnecessary impositions on differing viewpoints. Surely they will have more respect for you if you use one of those terms, and you're basically leaving your religious beliefs out of it.

 Maintain control so you tell as few lies as possible

 Lying is bad. It's still bad even now that you're an atheist. But you knew that.

 If you can maintain control of the discussions surrounding your beliefs (or lack of them), then you will be less apt to have to lie in a bind. Lying isn't good, because if and when you do tell them that you're an atheist, they'll be upset with you for being dishonest. They'll never point out that they made being honest such a difficult task to begin with, but you may want to bring that to their attention if that comes up.

 Plan the discussion the best that you can. If you think that it's going to require some time to tell them, then plan, plan, plan! You don't need to announce the news 5 minutes after you decide to. Keep your religious beliefs off Facebook and anywhere else that they might be easily seen. When the time is right, you'll know.

 It's probably not going to be as bad as you think

 You probably aren't going to get locked up in a room with a TV playing evangelistic sermons, only to leave for bathroom use and dinner in the mess hall. It might seem that way, but overall, many parents will feel a little heartbreak and probably not bug you too badly about it. They'll talk to you about it, try to change your mind, beg and plead with you, offer you the ever-famous Pascal's Wager argument (among other fallacious ones) to get you to stay within the faith. What can you do? Listen, gently refute, and remind them that you've made your mind up. They know that they can't change your mind for you, so heavy intimidation and hostility isn't very likely. And it's probably not in their best interest to be overly mean about it anyway since it doesn't help their cause.

 But if you think the shit will hit the fan and it'll be a bad situation for you, just think things through and be smart about your actions and you'll be okay.

 Special note to Muslim apostates

 Don't say a fucking word. Islam doesn't talk nicely about apostasy. If your family or close friends are fundamentalists or very devoted to their faith, then don't talk about it. If coming out means losing your life or possible violence against, you, then keep quiet. It's not worth it. Figure out a plan to get away from it and just think clearly and rationally about every step you take.

 The Christian bible doesn't talk nicely about apostates either, but the degree of biblical literalism and fundamentalism is demonstrably less violent. Nasty words might be said, but violence is much less likely.

 Conclusion

 Leaving a belief-system altogether is hard to do. It's even harder to share it with friends and family, especially when you know they'll take it hard. But being true to yourself is the most important thing -- as Shakespeare said:

This above all: to thine own self be true [...]

 Preserve your relationship with your family by making sure everyone respects each other, and don't talk much (or at all) about the differences in faith. Differences seldom bring people together, so focus on what you do love about them, and encourage them to focus on what they love about you and you'll be okay.

 Footnote:

 I need to print a retraction, so-to-speak. I have mentioned in a few posts that I was raised atheist. This is not entirely true, as my parents have mentioned. They are very loving, generous, and spiritual people, and they were quite upset when they read that. I don't wish to unfairly misrepresent my upbringing, but by pure definition I was raised as an atheist to the Christian god. My parents believe in a higher power, and that there is a supernatural element to life. I disagree with this position. My upbringing could possibly be better described as agnostic, but I claimed atheism in high school. About two years after I graduated, I spent nearly three years in the Christian faith before rejecting it. My apologies go out to anyone who is offended if I've not been entirely clear about my upbringing and beliefs. Coming out to Mom tag:atheistnexus.org,2011-01-11:2182797:BlogPost:1077627 2011-01-11T23:56:57.000Z Jessica Lenehan http://atheistnexus.org/profile/JessicaLenehan I came out to my mother on Christmas. It wasn't planned that way, she simply sat next to me at dinner. I thought I'd be safe at the kid's table. But the number of kids has been slowly dwindling over recent years, as they grow up and move off to the eagerly awaited table of "grown-ups". I saw this opportunity to return to the safety of the kid's table and quickly set my can of Dr. Pepper to claim my spot.
 I was more than a little surprised to see my mother sitting next to me when I returned with… I came out to my mother on Christmas. It wasn't planned that way, she simply sat next to me at dinner. I thought I'd be safe at the kid's table. But the number of kids has been slowly dwindling over recent years, as they grow up and move off to the eagerly awaited table of "grown-ups". I saw this opportunity to return to the safety of the kid's table and quickly set my can of Dr. Pepper to claim my spot.
 I was more than a little surprised to see my mother sitting next to me when I returned with my plate, after seeing that my own two young-in's were served and seated. It was an incredible meal. I do love my prime rib and mashed potatoes. Fresh Parker rolls, steamed broccoli with lemon-Dijon-butter sauce, and the gravy was for the potatoes, not the meat. It didn't need it. It was just that fabulous. And now I'm hungry just thinking about it.
 We kept to small talk as we shoveled the food in. But eventually we ran out of food on our plates and pleasantries , and I delved into more meaningful conversation.
 I wanted to share my newest passion, this incredibly freeing understanding of the world around me. The realization that I am free from that god I grew up fearing. The all-knowing mind-reader who had a special plan for me. Creepy guy in the sky. Of course I wanted to share this important realization with my mom. While we haven't been very close lately, I still love my mom. And while there are other meaningful topics I could have engaged in... okay, maybe one other topic. But I don't want to talk about my health. I want to share something important to me. I was literally bursting at the seams to share my news.
 And so I did. I told her that I had recently decided that I was no longer agnostic, but that I'm atheist. And not only that, I tried to explain that I have concerns about religion that may make it difficult to just sit back and let others believe in something that could be potentially harmful. I went on to explain that I feel like a young atheist because I don't yet have the words to explain how I feel about it. I don't yet feel armed with the arguments to express how I feel about religion. I feel that I need to learn the verbiage, understand better the concepts and concerns, so I can communicate my passion with others.
 And I would think that any mother would want that for their child... to feel passionately about something that they can share with the world. I know that as a mother myself. Don't take heaven away from me! tag:atheistnexus.org,2011-01-11:2182797:BlogPost:1077624 2011-01-11T23:53:59.000Z Jessica Lenehan http://atheistnexus.org/profile/JessicaLenehan An imaginary interaction with my mother in which she poses the point "I'm at the end of my life when I must look forward to meeting my maker and going to heaven, and you want to take that away from me?". In my mind I feel her agony at the thought of it all being a lie. I know this pain because I've felt it myself. It's not all that dissimilar from the feeling I had when my father came clean about Santa Claus. It's a let down to know it was just a big scam.

 In my mind I attempt to… An imaginary interaction with my mother in which she poses the point "I'm at the end of my life when I must look forward to meeting my maker and going to heaven, and you want to take that away from me?". In my mind I feel her agony at the thought of it all being a lie. I know this pain because I've felt it myself. It's not all that dissimilar from the feeling I had when my father came clean about Santa Claus. It's a let down to know it was just a big scam.
 In my mind I attempt to sympathize with her dilemma, having been there myself. But I want her to know that understanding the truth about god and the promises of an afterlife can be incredibly liberating. It's a freedom from the big creepy guy in the sky. Yes, with that comes the let down of realizing there is no heaven. There will be no long awaited reunions with ancestors gone before. There is no heaven and there are no past lives.
 My mother uses her intimate knowledge of her past lives as proof of god. She looks to me to explain how she could have had these experiences if she hadn't lived them herself. I can not explain other than to offer the incredible power of the human brain. That the brain holds within it many mysteries that we can not explain. But the likelihood of a past life memory being that of an actual past life, is not great. I don't want to dismiss her experiences or beliefs, as I've always been convinced that it is wrong to do so. Nor do I wish to dismiss her capacity to understand and appreciate the truth. But the later point is likely lost on my mother when posed with the possibility that I speak the truth.
 I wish nothing but the best for her and want to share with her the freedom I've gained from my new-found knowledge.
 I have yet to have that follow up conversation with my mother. But it's on my mind and destined to happen soon. Why I will never come out of the closet as an Atheist tag:atheistnexus.org,2010-12-13:2182797:BlogPost:1053925 2010-12-13T01:37:37.000Z Shannon http://atheistnexus.org/profile/ShannonTalton
It's cowardly I know, then again most people are cowards about most things. I will never come out as an Athiest. My two sons are scouts, my daughters best friend is a fundamentalist, and my boss is an Evangelical. Scouts have to believe in god as well as be heterosexual. My daughters friend would not be allowed to play with her if it was known that we are athiest. My boss would hound me mercilessly if he found out I didn't believe, first in an attempt to save me, and later in anger when I…

It's cowardly I know, then again most people are cowards about most things. I will never come out as an Athiest. My two sons are scouts, my daughters best friend is a fundamentalist, and my boss is an Evangelical. Scouts have to believe in god as well as be heterosexual. My daughters friend would not be allowed to play with her if it was known that we are athiest. My boss would hound me mercilessly if he found out I didn't believe, first in an attempt to save me, and later in anger when I did not conform. I have seen this happen. Most difficult of all- my husband is religious.

My four children began to question god early on. The furious reaction that they encountered shut them up quickly. I came to them and told them that people were easily frightened when others questioned gods existence. They were young when they decided this, 9, 11, 12, and 7 yo when they started questioning. Im proud of them, but I also fear for them. Our society finds it easy to discriminate against athiest. The devil fearing, and effectively devil worshipping, public has amost no tolerance for the non-believer. I felt my children need to know what they are up against and that they need to pick their battles. One believes he is a homosexual (13 yo), and another is a staunch advocate for rationality and science. I know it's not good to hide the truth of oneself from the world, but we can't pretend that such honesty has no cost. We talk all the time about these things. My main message is- come out as an atheist when you are ready but be willing to face the consequences and pay the price. It's very difficult to live in such a narrow minded families. You can love them all you want but it is never enough to dispel their fear of your 'thought crime." The pain inflicted on both sides, the believers and the rationalist, would be immense and strain relationships. I have relatives who would worry incessantly about my children going to hell as much as I worry about their children not receiving modern medical care because of their belief systems. The crazy never ends. Im certainly glad it's more theirs than mine.

I know I will get a lot of flack for this blog. I accept your opinions. I also beieve that there is no one right answer to any common problem and that even the most rational of people make irrational decisions all the time. There is no area of my life that is not impacted by extreme christians. I went out of my way to allow my children another view of the world. I told them I would accept whatever they decided as their choice. How could I do otherwise with everyone else insisting that there was only one truth? I will not become an ass in response to asinine people. They know theirs is a bright and broad future for them with many many people who believe as they do although there doesn't seem to be many of them out there at the moment. For myself- I do not see a day where the benefits ever even remotely approach the cost of coming out as an Atheist.
 Love tag:atheistnexus.org,2010-12-08:2182797:BlogPost:1050477 2010-12-08T20:02:02.000Z GodMockingBitch http://atheistnexus.org/profile/Michelle255 When I came out as an atheist to my entire family, it was hard to do. My mother Patricia W. does not agree but understands. We could all learn something from mommas love. Its a love that look past self, to embrace a loved one no matter what. I love you mom now and always. When I came out as an atheist to my entire family, it was hard to do. My mother Patricia W. does not agree but understands. We could all learn something from mommas love. Its a love that look past self, to embrace a loved one no matter what. I love you mom now and always. Dear Family tag:atheistnexus.org,2010-08-06:2182797:BlogPost:935677 2010-08-06T03:00:00.000Z deletedsoul http://atheistnexus.org/profile/deletedsoul A couple of months ago I posted here that I had decided to come out to my family (specifically my parents) as an atheist in a very indirect way - by inviting them to Facebook. They never joined, which means it's on to plan B - the direct approach.

This urge to finally get this over with stemmed from my father lashing out at me this past week because of my political views on the health care reform bill, and berating me to some extent for being a "liberal". I think the time has come to… A couple of months ago I posted here that I had decided to come out to my family (specifically my parents) as an atheist in a very indirect way - by inviting them to Facebook. They never joined, which means it's on to plan B - the direct approach.

This urge to finally get this over with stemmed from my father lashing out at me this past week because of my political views on the health care reform bill, and berating me to some extent for being a "liberal". I think the time has come to lay all my cards out on the table.

I've written a letter. A letter I intend to read to my parents and mail to the rest of family. This letter covers all the things I've not been up front or vocal about as I evolved into the person I am.

If I can muster the courage, the following letter will be presented to my parents and family within the next couple of weeks.

Dear Family,

I'm writing to get some things off my chest that I've been mulling over for awhile.

I'm not a very social person. I spend maybe 25% more time with "friends" than I do "family", and that's only because they are within throwing distance from my house.

I'm not as connected to all of you as I would like to be, but I am working on that. Mostly, I am working on being more open about myself and my life to those I care about. In my daily struggle to avoid conflict and my consistent tendency to be non-confrontational, I withhold a lot of information about myself and my day to day life that I feel might make others uncomfortable. However, I am trying to resolve that first with this letter; then with an attempt to be more involved with everyone in my life, and truly try to reconnect.

It's my thought that in order to do this, I need to be up front about both the ways I have changed in the last few years, as well as the ways I have stayed the same.

I'm still me. I'm still a bookworm. I still love music. I still try to find the best in people, even when the best tries to hide. I still have a really, really goofy sense of humor. I still try my best to treat everyone as equals, and try to root for the underdog - just like Mom taught me. I do my darnest to stand on my own two feet and not depend on others for my livelihood - just like Dad taught me.

 I still hate small talk and unexpected visits. I still hate math. I still love cheese.

Now, for the ways I have changed. I'm a little more talkative than I used to be - but only to people I know well.

I LOVE scary movies. I never watched them as a child, since they gave me nightmares, but now I have a shelf full of them.

I think both men and women are beautiful, attractive beings.

I tend to fall on the liberal side of politics. My views are a mish-mash of ideas gleaned from those who I respect, and my own research. I make an attempt to not base my opinions on pundits or the media's opinion, but to form my own based on the facts.

I think government assistance programs should be structured in a way to prevent abuse. I do not think there should be monopolies and exorbitant prices on essential items such as utilities, telecommunications, information technology and health care.

I think that what we do with our own bodies, with each other and in our own homes should not be the government's business at all - as long as we aren't harming others - that includes what we read, watch, drink, smoke, and love.

I believe that marriage should not be a government recognized institution; I think that any two consenting adults should be to obtain and civil union license and that "marriage" should be defined within their own relationship and religion. I don't think "married" people should get tax breaks for being married, or any other special privileges.

I feel that we should switch to the Fair Tax system and eliminate income tax altogether.

I believe marijuana should be legal, regulated and taxed - even though I don't smoke it.

I assert that the government has no business telling us how to worship, when to worship or even if to worship at all.

I stopped considering myself to be a religious person about four years ago, after many questions about religion, god, faith and the universe as a whole. While I'm sure this will cause a lot of confusion and even pain to my family, please rest assured that I am not struggling in darkness or fighting any demons. It was no one's fault; I didn't become angry at god, the church or anyone at all. I was fine as a believer, now I am fine as an atheist. I just stopped believing in god; I stopped having faith. It's as simple as that.

I am somewhat of an online activist. I write, petition and blog a lot about my opinions and ideas, especially about human rights, politics, skepticism and the supernatural.

I do love you all, and I invite anyone to call, write or connect to me on the internet if you have any questions or concerns about my Big Revelation. :)

Much Love,
Me

 A Social Exercise tag:atheistnexus.org,2010-07-13:2182797:BlogPost:906694 2010-07-13T00:30:00.000Z Jeffrey P. Murphy http://atheistnexus.org/profile/spectrm312
So, I did something 'a little wacky' - or as my fiance refers to it, childish. I think it's an important, if overstated, attempt at what I've been trying to do for a long time. Enough preamble.

I went to Walgreens and bought a package of 15 'Hello, my name is' tags. I scratched the 'my name is' and underneath wrote 'I am an' and in the space for the name in bolded letters: 'Atheist'.

I should explain why I'm doing…

So, I did something 'a little wacky' - or as my fiance refers to it, childish. I think it's an important, if overstated, attempt at what I've been trying to do for a long time. Enough preamble.

I went to Walgreens and bought a package of 15 'Hello, my name is' tags. I scratched the 'my name is' and underneath wrote 'I am an' and in the space for the name in bolded letters: 'Atheist'.

I should explain why I'm doing this:

1a. to gauge reactions and interpret changes in demeanor and behavior from clerks, servers, and passersby

1b. this is not to 'invite conversation'...people's crosses don't invite conversation...people's pagan or political insignia's don't invite conversation, and so some labeling of myself as the carrier of a belief shouldn't either...I've even mentioned to some at work who ask about it that I'm not interested in a conversation on it, it's merely a labeling exercise.

2. to 'come out' - I've been a known atheist with my family since I was 16 or before (my immediate family since about 3mo before my Confirmation), and most people at work have lain, baited, set, and fallen victim to their own theological traps by engaging in debate with me. But people on the street still, for the most part, aren't aware that atheists are common - or that I'm one

3. as a 'rally flag' - I figure (2) applies to a lot of other atheists (hell....I read the boards), so if I stick a flag in the air, there's a better chance someone on the same team will see it and come to rally

As a disclaimer, I'm doing this in Chicago, a fairly secular city with a strong artists community, so people are used to wacky things. And I'll be honest, the response is not what I thought it would be. I've been conducting this exercise for 2 business-days and 2 weekend-days, thus far and, since there are 15 nametags, 2 weeks would be a good span, I figured. I should also mention, I did this same thing out of hubris in high school, to a much more violent response (I actually got into a fist-fight that I was blamed for...the school's security camera's vindicated me in the ensuing 'disciplinary hearing', which could be equated more to an inquisition).

So, besides familial responses (I'm not counting those), I've only gotten a few verbal responses:

FREQ - RESPONSE - COUNTER

2x - "Well good for you" - none warranted

3x - "I'm sorry to hear that" - "don't be"

?x - a glare - dead-eye stare

10x - a constant stare - eye-contact and then away

5x - a positive approach - I'll explain

2x - "No you're not!!!" - "Yes I am!!!" (wash, rinse, repeat)

6x - some warning about the dangers - admission and acceptance...I'm a man of principle, after all

I want to, at this point, address the 'positive approaches' people have made to me with this. I've had three people thus far, after drawing attention to the sticker with some joke, go on to say "I'm agnostic myself. Maybe I just don't get all the big deal. Some people believe some things, some people believe others, but I don't buy much of any of it." One person saw the sign, walked up to me, and said "I think I should do that, myself". The final person (of the positive response crew) was a woman who sat next to me on the train and said "Thank god!! Someone who ain't afraid to say it" after which we had a great conversation and she attempted to give me her number, which I politely declined (I'm 'married' after all). I did, however, note the irony of her statement to her, and popular vernacular became a main thread of our conversation.

Now this is only a small way through the exercise, and I know that as the week wears on, people who ride the train everyday may finally muster the guts to say something, but for the time, it's been relatively peaceful. People see it - I can see they see it. I overheard some people talking about it, but couldn't make out enough content for it to mean anything. I also heard a ~12yo ask his dad "What's an atheist" - the father didn't see my sticker and I didn't hear his response.

As a side note, and as often happens, someone may not contend with the 'statement' directly, but they let it color their conversation. One of the train overseers was one who said "Sorry to hear that", but nothing further. But the conversation we had was colored with implications that I follow a Democrat agenda, or am arrogant, or am overtly liberal (none of which is true in the Platonic sense).

I'll be posting further with any significant updates (and counts of responses), but at this point, I'm not expecting enough response to write much about. I might have to go a state lower in the Union, I suppose.

EDIT: So, a few interesting things have happened since this post. One in particular I'll address as I should have anticipated it a little more carefully and prepared the proper logical arguments to address it.

For one, the sign is getting noticed more. I've had people ask about the sign, but I refuse to talk about it or explain why - that's not the purpose of this. I permit the person to make their comment, whatever it is, and then move on. But if someone wants to discuss the topic or simply asks why I feel the need to do anything (a sort of restatement of what I refuse, but this is at least framed in a way that deserves an answer), I'm game. I had a number of people scream to "take that thing off" - amazing what people will do when it's a drive/walk-by.

The issue I should address is: I considered that many of the discussions that might arise would be intellectual mismatches. At the very least, a better majority of them would be educational mismatches (besides theology, I do everything I can to learn and read anything I get my hands on). But I hadn't considered the sheer volume of mismatches that would be present (by ratio). I also hadn't considered the depth of mismatch. The first question usually asked is "How can you be an atheist?". The simple answer, of course "Because to believe anything, I need evidence. And as there is no evidence for a god, I don't believe in one. All things being equal, I would pose the same question to you but on the flip: how can you believe in god?" 100% of the time, thus far, this threw them completely off. Tossing that question back at them is essentially the fatal blow - and the first - as they've never dealt with it before, or so rarely that they never gave it much consideration outside of the Bible (or whathaveyou). At this point, they start grasping at straws - changing the subject and, essentially, offering various analogues to 'the argument from incredulity'. If only they could apply the same incredulity to talking snakes. And, as usual, there is a disconnect in 'evolution' being a strictly atheist thing. Two men were surprised that the Vatican endorses evolution and three others denied it.

(an excerpt)
"But atheists believe in evolution - it's the atheist religion, right?"
"No. It's a scientific theory. And atheists don't have a religion...that's the point"
"But atheists get their morality from evolution." (alluding to the 'morality taught by evolution' not that developed by it)
"I certainly hope not - at least not literally."
"But, like, lions kill antelope and lots of animals kill each other, so atheists have to believe killing is okay."
"Not in the least. Lions kill antelope to eat - we kill all manner of plants and animals for the same purpose. Animals can, and do, kill each other. But you're making apples and oranges out of apples and more apples - human beings *ARE* animals."
"So we *SHOULD* be killing each other!"
"I say no, because I respect that this life on earth is all I, and my neighbor, have in this universe. I can't take that from them for no cause. But for the religious, why not kill? God does it!!"
"What? God doesn't kill people!"
"Sorry, sir, but I have to get back to a meeting. You should read the Bible one day, though. God has killed thousands, not including the destruction of entire cities and the flood."
"But those people were evil - god was only killing evil"
"Quite a respect for free will, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah, I suppose" (confused look)

A lot of the exchanges have been a myriad non-sequitor. I'll post any more significant updates.

UPDATE - 7.16.2010:

So, as the days press on, people are noticing more. Apparently if it's something you see one day, you don't pay much mind. When you see it day after day, it sinks in. Even so, I'm finding out this exercise is less about me or atheism in general.

In the past two days - perhaps three - I've had no less than three people approach me with approximately this story (sort of a composite of the three I remember):

HIM/HER: I've seen you wearing that and was compelled to say something, but I didn't know what.

ME (apprehensive): Okay.

HIM/HER: What I came up with was "Thank you".

ME (still skeptical): You're welcome? But for what?

HIM/HER: My (spouse) thinks I'm crazy.

ME (curious): Why?

HIM/HER: cuz I don't believe it anymore. My (spouse) is (christian|muslim), but I've given up on it, and they think I'm nuts.

ME: How do you feel about that?

HIM/HER: I don't know, but I know how I feel about what you're doing.

ME (apprehensive again): How's that?

HIM/HER: Glad to know someone will tell me I'm not the only one.

And another, who's 1st generation MexAmerican with a very Catholic mother but she is agnostic, and who's boyfriend is 1/2 Polish, 1/2 Philipino, raised Jewish (from the father), but is atheist, who is glad someone else could explain some things so she can relate to her boyfriend better. She'd just never heard much of the argument, and her boyfriend keeps it inside for "fear of reprisal" - his words through her.

I don't mean to abandon all humility, but what I thought was going to be a string of shouting matches for me to partake in (which can be fun, sometimes...) has become the rally flag I hoped it would be. I don't know if anyone is taking inspiration from it, but many people appear comforted or assured.

A couple notes

* the best time to get responses appears to be ~4:30pm - people are on their way to the train but technically have an hour or so before their family will count them as 'late'.

* a friend of mine at work gave me a great idea, which I convinced him to half-fund: write up one of the stickers, Xerox it into a grid, cut and laminate and attach some simple (cheap-o) clips and give them out on the street. People may not have time to talk to me, or may assume I'm just a student (I look young, dress in jeans and a t-shirt for work, and am in love with my messenger bag [FYI - Fossil: affordable (mine was $150), lifetime warranty, good-looking, high-quality]), but many folks just might tack on an 'atheist' or 'agnostic' sticker, perhaps some just 'non-theist' ones for a day themselves.

* I had someone ask "what is it, like atheist pride week?", to which I explained the 15-count package I bought, but I have a joke answer, too. "I'll stop wearing it when everyone at work who is comes in with one, too" - didn't go over too well, as the person in question is from Southern Illinois (which if it isn't, might as well be part of the Bible-belt).

* We've already had one female QA engineer (and quite good at it) leave because her husband didn't like her working in the same room with a man who isn't her husband or family member. So now she doesn't have a career.

* another employee is married to a middle-eastern man so he can gain citizenship in canada, but he objects to his brother marrying some girl for love instead of by arrangement.

 Shouting from the Rooftops tag:atheistnexus.org,2009-07-12:2182797:BlogPost:413610 2009-07-12T19:30:00.000Z Jennifer E. http://atheistnexus.org/profile/jeckert4 You know how when you fall in love, you just want to tell everyone? To shout it from the rooftops? It's so exciting and fresh, and you want everyone to know. That's some of what I'm feeling right now. I stated in my "about me" section that I am a new atheist. It feels a lot like falling in love. I want to tell everyone! I want everyone to know what I've discovered so they can discover it too! But, exclaiming my realization that religion is a bunch of baloney won't garner the same response as… You know how when you fall in love, you just want to tell everyone? To shout it from the rooftops? It's so exciting and fresh, and you want everyone to know. That's some of what I'm feeling right now. I stated in my "about me" section that I am a new atheist. It feels a lot like falling in love. I want to tell everyone! I want everyone to know what I've discovered so they can discover it too! But, exclaiming my realization that religion is a bunch of baloney won't garner the same response as professing my love for my husband. I've only told 3 people: my husband (of course), a friend of mine from work, and my sister. All of these people are very open-minded about religion. My husband views himself as an agnostic or, perhaps a deist. He believes there's a possibility of a higher power, but not one that interferes in our lives. He has a hard time grappling with the "what's it all for" question with no god in the picture. My sister is very much the same way. My friend from work calls herself a Christian, but doesn't really attend church and doesn't subscribe to any of the "give you heart to Jesus" stuff - she's not much of a Christian! Her response has been the most delightful, actually. When I first told her (it just came up in the conversation, oddly enough) she was really interested. She asked about what I believe and what I don't, and why, and how I got there, and how I respond to claims by the religious. It was a wonderfully stimulating and fulfilling conversation.

 Aside from those 3 people, the only other "coming out" I've done (and I imagine it's a lot like coming out about your sexuality) is to change my religious views to Atheist on Facebook. I have several VERY Christian friends on Facebook and I haven't gotten a single comment. They probably aren't looking. It's frustrating because I want to tell people - my parents, all my friends, all my coworkers. But, that would most likely be detrimental to my friendships and my career. Most of my friends would be fine with it, and honestly, I'm not that worried about them knowing. If they don't want to associate with me based on my beliefs, then that's their loss. I'm most worried about my career. I'm an elementary school librarian and I love my job. I work at a wonderful school with an outstanding administration. I love my principal and assistant principal, but they're both pretty religious, as are most of the parents at our school. I'm afraid if word got out that I'm an atheist, I would somehow be forced out of that school. I'm afraid my performance reviews would arbitrarily go down and that parents would complain about me. It's very frustrating, especially because it's a public school and religion should have no place there! As librarian, I make sure that my collection is diverse and presents many view points. It's important to me that each child be able to see him or herself in the books we have. I have Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series, but I also have C. S. Lewis' Narnia series. In the 200's, I have at least one book on every religion, except non-belief - it's very hard to find a nonfiction children's book about atheism, or any kind of non-belief. I certainly don't want to press my views on the students. But I'm afraid people would think that I do if they know I'm an atheist.

 It's a double-edged sword, really. On the one hand, I'm bursting with excitement about my new-found freedom from superstition and I want to share it with the world. But, on the other hand, I'm scared of being discriminated against. I've never been in this position before. I want to be proud of who I am and not cower behind old beliefs. But I don't want to compromise my career and friendships. I suppose this feeling will fade, just as it does with new love, and I'll come to be more comfortable with it. I won't feel the need for everyone to know. But I never want to lie and if it is brought up, I intend to be truthful. As far as work goes, like I said before, religion doesn't belong there at all, and that includes my lack thereof. So, I'll try to control myself!

 I just have to add that this post has not gone the way I intended at all. I was reading my "about me" paragraph and wanted to expand on my journey from believer to non-believer. I guess I'll have to save that for next time! Phone Call with religious mother tag:atheistnexus.org,2009-03-02:2182797:BlogPost:242718 2009-03-02T06:30:00.000Z Ida http://atheistnexus.org/profile/LogicalSanity So last night(march 1st), I received a call from my dad and all we talked about was how school was going for me and just life on campus.

 He then handed his phone to my mom, who sooner or later asked me if I had been going to church. Mind, you my parents don't know I'm an atheist per say, but I've given them hints that I don't like church (Not getting up to give money during 'offering time'). I'm usually on the phone for about 3-5 minutes with my parents, but this time was different.We talked… So last night(march 1st), I received a call from my dad and all we talked about was how school was going for me and just life on campus.

 He then handed his phone to my mom, who sooner or later asked me if I had been going to church. Mind, you my parents don't know I'm an atheist per say, but I've given them hints that I don't like church (Not getting up to give money during 'offering time'). I'm usually on the phone for about 3-5 minutes with my parents, but this time was different.We talked for over an hour. I told my mom "You know I no longer go to church," and she said, "Since when?" I then said "Remember when I told you last November that I don't go to church on campus anymore?"

 Well this conversation went back and forth for a while with her trying to tell me that we don't do things by ourselves, but God is the one in control. I then asked "Do you even know what an agnostic is?" She kept stuttering and said "I have an idea, but you tell me what it is." I had a feeling she didn't know what it meant, but I really wanted her to define agnosticism. She couldn't, so I told her. Then right after that, I told her I am an atheist. (Want details, message me :))

 Long story short, she said she was disappointed in me and that she's seen more in her lifetime that would warrant God as a powerful creator, so I shouldn't feel like I've found all the answers (Basically, I should give God time, haha). I told her that I don't like any religion and that religion is just to control people. She seems open minded about my atheism so far, but I don't think she understands atheism just yet. We will see when I get back home for Spring Break. ^_^ Welcome to the light tag:atheistnexus.org,2009-02-19:2182797:BlogPost:231171 2009-02-19T15:36:25.000Z Kristine Robinson http://atheistnexus.org/profile/KristineRobinson Welcome to the light. This was a comment on my previous blog post (thanks, Felch). Reading this, I thought I'd share my coming out story.

 A year ago I was a religious nut. Not totally insane/loopy... simply Pagan. I knew evolution was real, I knew magick didn't work unless you used it to change yourself, I loved science, I loved questioning how things worked. I was down to earth, I believed in following a mundane path if it existed and only turned to magickal means or divine… Welcome to the light. This was a comment on my previous blog post (thanks, Felch). Reading this, I thought I'd share my coming out story.

 A year ago I was a religious nut. Not totally insane/loopy... simply Pagan. I knew evolution was real, I knew magick didn't work unless you used it to change yourself, I loved science, I loved questioning how things worked. I was down to earth, I believed in following a mundane path if it existed and only turned to magickal means or divine intervention for really big things, and I was willing to listen to other people's theories. I thought that was all I needed.

 I just didn't question the right things. I didn't question the origin of my channeling sessions. I didn't question how I could be right when I read tarot cards for complete strangers. I didn't question who it was moving the glass on a ouija board... These things worked for me. I was psychic, I had multiple gifts.

 About seven years ago I was diagnosed with a problem in my temporal lobe. This had already led me to researching it, and I was well on the way to accepting that the "spirits" I'd been seeing/hearing all my life were simply malfunctions of my brain.

 Even so, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to atheism. I got mugged on the Myspace Religion and Philosophy Forum. It's a great forum, I recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good, heated debate about theology. A little rough at times (actually all the time), mainly because there's a mix of everyone there. All spectrum of Christians, atheists, Muslims, Pagans, Satanists, Buddhists, Jews, I think I even saw a Hindu poster on there a couple of times.

 As a Pagan, my default setting for dealing with fundamentalist Christians sided with the atheists, and the atheists (seeing my penchant for a well rounded argument) wormed their way into my brain with reasoning and Penn and Teller You Tube links. I held out for three months on there while everything I had previously seen as proof was consistently demolished. It was the most devastating time of my life. It was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me.

 Most of my friends and family know now. There were a few hairy moments with some who didn't understand, but all in all the transition was fairly smooth. My father still doesn't accept it, even though he's never been a hugely religious man, but that's his choice. But all through the process I was bouyed up by the friends I had made who I'd once argued so vociferously with online.

 This is a completely different way of looking at the world than I ever experienced as a theist. I feel freer. I feel complete.

 I love being an atheist. A little Background.... tag:atheistnexus.org,2009-02-10:2182797:BlogPost:220109 2009-02-10T13:00:00.000Z John Camp http://atheistnexus.org/profile/JohnCamp When I was about 12 years old I came to the realization that god was not real. As I stare into the picture of the virgin Mary it occurred to me, why do i have to do this(pray before her)? He might not even exist? When I came to this conclusion I felt it necessary to share it with my parents. There response was to send me to church more often...thinking that all I needed was "Jesus in my life", this, it turned out made me an atheist. When I was about 16 however I could contain it no longer, I… When I was about 12 years old I came to the realization that god was not real. As I stare into the picture of the virgin Mary it occurred to me, why do i have to do this(pray before her)? He might not even exist? When I came to this conclusion I felt it necessary to share it with my parents. There response was to send me to church more often...thinking that all I needed was "Jesus in my life", this, it turned out made me an atheist. When I was about 16 however I could contain it no longer, I openly admitted to not believing in god. If you had asked I could not have told you why, but something just didn't feel right with this god character. I knew that when something is "not" ok to talk about then it must have some degree of truth. This lead me to do hours upon hours of independent research about god, Jesus, and life. Although I was ashamed of not believing in god since my family acted as if something was wrong with me or that I didn't know what they knew, it had always made me afraid to speak out. I'm 18 now and I fully understand my lack of a belief and others on a daily basis feel uncomfortable with my willingness to talk and criticize there religious belief.For Example, a man walked up to my fiance and I when were leaving Jason's Deli, he presented me with a paper saying how his organization was helping drug attics, and former gang members find there way in society. I really did like his idea, but... the way this came about was not rehabilitation but to find Jesus! I gave him back his paper and told him that "sorry I do not agree with or believe in Jesus". In a split second he turned on me as though I was the devil himself, he was shouting about how Christ died on the cross for you(me) and he asked "well how did we get here". My response was that we came from our mothers, from them we came from biological evolution, from that we cam from dead stars, and from that we came from the singularity that expanded into what our universe is today. He then told me that science wasn't real and that god made everything. I turned away telling him to "fuck off you stupid asshole", as he was walking away I could not help laughing at his expression on his face when I said that I did not believe in Jesus Christ. I'm a Agnostic Atheist and I would love to hear your story... How To Come Out As An Atheist tag:atheistnexus.org,2008-12-20:2182797:BlogPost:170697 2008-12-20T02:31:03.000Z Kate Holden http://atheistnexus.org/profile/KateHolden I look at my search engine results quite a bit and have noticed that several people find my blog by typing in the phrase, "How to come out as an atheist" so I've decided to write a bit from my own experience for those who are seeking inspiration.

 Step One: Realize you're an atheist. This may seem to be a given but for the longest time people will have the knowledge that they don't believe in a god and still label themselves otherwise. You're an atheist. If you can't share this with anyone yet,… I look at my search engine results quite a bit and have noticed that several people find my blog by typing in the phrase, "How to come out as an atheist" so I've decided to write a bit from my own experience for those who are seeking inspiration.

 Step One: Realize you're an atheist. This may seem to be a given but for the longest time people will have the knowledge that they don't believe in a god and still label themselves otherwise. You're an atheist. If you can't share this with anyone yet, refer to yourself as one privately.

 Step Two: Tell a trusted friend, mentor or family member (preferably someone who isn't too religious himself). This is a test - not for the person you're telling (well, maybe a little) but to see how well you handle his reaction. Having your friend accept you is the best possible outcome but isn't guaranteed. If you meet rejection or criticism, don't be discouraged. You'll meet much more in the coming years. If you don't get the reaction you hoped for try coming out to someone else. People will always surprise you.

 Step Three: Join an atheist/humanist/skeptical/freethinker meet-up group in your area. If there isn't one in your area, consider joining atheist-friendly forums like the Richard Dawkins Foundation or the James Randi Educational Foundation. You should definitely join Atheist Nexus where you'll find tons of like-minded individuals and causes to suit your tastes. You can start your own group, post in the forums or write your own blog entries.

 Step Four: Get used to the controversy. A good way of doing this is starting your own blog and receiving negative feedback online which is much less intimidating than someone belching out fiery hallelujahs in your face. Eventually it won't affect you and you'll learn that the sort of people who write the most vitriolic responses are not people you'd have in your life in any fashion anyhow.

 Step Five: You should have the cojones now. You don't have to introduce yourself to people by saying, "Hello. My name is Kate Holden and I'm an atheist. What now, punk?" but if the subject is being discussed you should have no shame in sharing your world views. I'll admit that at my last job I used the term 'not religious' as I worked with highly religious people in a small conservative bible-belt town and felt my job would be in jeopardy if I came out to them. That's pretty much the exception, though.

 Step Six: Remember that you're not alone. Participating in meet-up groups and forums will help you feel like you're a part of something, especially if you live in an area of the world where being an atheist is particularly bad for your social status. And if all else fails, come out to me. I'll accept you.

 Cuddles I'm Neece and I'm an Atheist tag:atheistnexus.org,2008-08-18:2182797:BlogPost:85174 2008-08-18T20:20:50.000Z Neece http://atheistnexus.org/profile/Fruitloop Ok.. I decided. I need to be myself. I wrote about it here. I want to change my name on here to my real name. I just wanted to let you know... Fruitloop is a nice nickname, but I'm Neece and I'm an Atheist. christians can just deal with it.  Ok.. I decided. I need to be myself. I wrote about it here. I want to change my name on here to my real name. I just wanted to let you know... Fruitloop is a nice nickname, but I'm Neece and I'm an Atheist. christians can just deal with it.  Coming Out To Family tag:atheistnexus.org,2008-07-18:2182797:BlogPost:37188 2008-07-18T06:48:07.000Z Alex Uzdavines http://atheistnexus.org/profile/AlexUzdavines I recently got back into Irvine after a trip up through a large swath of NorCal to visit friends and family. I really have two sets of family up there; one is my "older brother" (met many moons ago through the Big Brother/Little Brother program) with his family in the Bay Area and the other is the group of actual genetic family in the Sacramento area.

 I've mentioned being an Atheist and being a member of Atheists, Agnostics, and Rationalists at UC Irvine to my brother and his family, but I… I recently got back into Irvine after a trip up through a large swath of NorCal to visit friends and family. I really have two sets of family up there; one is my "older brother" (met many moons ago through the Big Brother/Little Brother program) with his family in the Bay Area and the other is the group of actual genetic family in the Sacramento area.

 I've mentioned being an Atheist and being a member of Atheists, Agnostics, and Rationalists at UC Irvine to my brother and his family, but I still haven't to my family in Sacramento. Most of my hesitation to "come out" with that side of the family is the fact that they're all deeply christian and (actually not good) lean towards an ID view of the world which actually bothers me more than the theist/atheist divide.

 I had promised to myself that I'd try and bring up the topic while I was up there for this visit, but didn't end up going through with it. Started to sound out my cousin while he was firing up the grill in back, but ran into the ID/Evolution wall and decided to cut my losses there.

 I really don't think my family would go ape-shit and cut ties if they officially found out as I think most already know to some extent, but....I'm just not sure. In my head there's a less than 1% chance of it being really bad, but I don't really want to risk it.

 The truth is that for the most part my family lives up the good ideals of Christianity that we (Atheists) tend to forget actually exist. For all the blowhard Ted Haggard assholes there are going to be 10 people like my family who really believe and that belief is a cornerstone of their philosophy, but also don't really go out of their way to impede progress for the rest of humanity. For the most part they just want to live their lives, worship as they see fit, and move on.

 So this lead me to the thought (mostly self-justification) that "coming out" them isn't worth the less than 1% chance of a bad reaction. I enjoy spending time with them and 90% of the time that I spend up there is doing the same old family shit that most American families do. BBQing, watching movies, and just shooting the shit about the everyday events in life. It's like a sanctuary for me from the rest of the world and I'm not sure how much risk to that I'm willing to go in to for a topic that I know isn't going to get anywhere on either side. Sunday, July 13 tag:atheistnexus.org,2008-07-13:2182797:BlogPost:20931 2008-07-13T15:30:00.000Z Jones, M. http://atheistnexus.org/profile/JonesM I live in Indiana. If I wear the scarlet A shirt, what will happen? We must begin to identify as atheists if we want to change things. But each individual must consider their particular circumstances before doing so. Those who feel they can must absolutely begin to say in some way to those around them: I am an atheist. As long as we are an ostracized minority our voice of reason will not be heard. That is what "they" want. I live in Indiana. If I wear the scarlet A shirt, what will happen? We must begin to identify as atheists if we want to change things. But each individual must consider their particular circumstances before doing so. Those who feel they can must absolutely begin to say in some way to those around them: I am an atheist. As long as we are an ostracized minority our voice of reason will not be heard. That is what "they" want.