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Sanctuary for the Abused
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Married To A Narcissist & Waiting For Good Times To Return?
By Diane England, Ph.D.
When you said your vows, what were you expecting? I suspect if you were like most women, you thought you were entering a partnership. You would enjoy shared power, right?
I bet you've discovered something quite different, though. I bet he likes to have power over you, isn't that so? And to ensure he achieves and maintains this, he might well use emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, and even sexual abuse, too.
The thing is, you might not even realize that your relationship with your narcissistic spouse is filled with these forms of abuse. You might feel badly or experience emotional pain much of the time, but still not understand why. You might well believe your narcissistic spouse when he tells you how you are the problem, and if you just changed and did these things he wanted, well, life would be grand.
For him, that is.
He keeps emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, and sexual abuse in his marital toolbox because they work for him. Meanwhile, you believe that the two of you have a partnership.
Sorry, but a relationship with a narcissist is not about partnership.
Those suffering from unhealthy levels of narcissism don't know what that means. They are self centered. They lack empathy. And more than anything else, they are grandiose. Whether successful or not, they feel entitled to have what they want when they want it.
Rather like the two-year-old.
The narcissistic throw tantrums when they don't get what they want, too. The difference is, they scream more than how they hate you; those suffering from unhealthy levels of narcissism are inclined to scream obscenities and other hurtful things. All of them help your self esteem to plunge, plus make the anxiety butterflies swirl, wouldn't you agree?
Let me back up a minute here, though. Perhaps you might want to argue that your spouse has never been diagnosed with any mental health problems, and especially not Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. Please realize, however, that narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic symptoms can occur in varying degrees. So, someone need not be diagnosable as having full-fledged Narcissistic Personality Disorder to display what you'll see referred to in various internet articles as unhealthy, pathological, or malignant narcissism. However, even lesser degrees of narcissism can be problematic in your relationship.
I might not have to tell you that. Then again, have you ever suspected your spouse's emotional abuse and sexual abuse, for example, were associated with pathological levels of narcissism?
So, how many of the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder must your narcissistic spouse meet in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for you to be the victim of his narcissism - which could be fueling his abuse plus perhaps alcoholism or drug addiction?
Sadly, too often, these all come together in one neatly wrapped package.
But back to the question I originally posed; I really can't answer it.
What I will say, though, is don't keep you eyes shut because in the beginning, things were so good between the two of you. You might have believed you had finally met your white knight. You might have been so enamored with him because of the whirlwind romance that included flowers, candlelight dinners, outrageously expensive gifts considering the time you'd been together, and romantic getaways that also included great sex.
No, don't keep thinking if you can only get it right, or do all the things he asks, those days will probably return.
I rather hate to tell you this, but you're probably wrong. Oh, he might act that way now and then to keep you hooked in and believing you're about to rediscover Camelot, but he is only seducing you - again.
A narcissist is like a leopard; he can not change his spots. Okay, he might be able to change if he really wanted to do so. But if you are in love with a narcissist, you need to understand that you'll likely be seeking counseling on how to leave a narcissist long before he's inclined to seek help on how to alleviate himself of his narcissistic tendencies.
If you have a narcissistic husband, listen very carefully: Narcissists seduce you with their charm, the romance, and the great sex. Once they have you hooked, things change - and not for the good.
In fact, is the great sex still so great? Or instead, is it about him and his needs and wants? Also, you might feel he has to give a great performance, and you're always expected to commend him for a job well done, too. And rather than feeling closer to him, instead, have you felt you've become more and more merely an object to him?
There is even a chance the great sex has switched over into sexual abuse. Perhaps the transition has been so gradual, however, that you haven't actually seen the truth about what was happening - or where you have ended up as a result. But if you stop and think about your sexual relationship with your narcissistic spouse, you might realize you've been doing things that don't appeal to you sexually, but only to him. In fact, they might make you feel degraded.
He not only doesn't bring flowers anymore, but it is probably worse than that. You'd realize that if you got real about your marriage.
Yes, it is probably hardly a relationship in the sense that you define the word. Are you always worrying about what might please or displease him? And to ensure you do neither, do you do things against your personal values?
You probably want to avoid his narcissistic rage. And again, you hope if you'll only do as he wants, things will be like they were in the early days - when you held hands and made love in a romantic haze.
Again, it is time to get real. That was an act to suck you in. Now, though, if he is walking around being his self centered and grandiose self, engaging in emotional abuse and verbal abuse that causes your self worth to slip away daily, he is nonetheless likely being the man he will continue to be.
You might well be able to somehow survive the emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse.
You might keep telling yourself that the sexual abuse is not sexual abuse because you actually are okay with what he asks of you - as kinky (and comfortable) as it perhaps has become.
I suspect you might be shut down and out of touch with your feelings, however. You also might be taking pride in your ability to cope with things you shouldn't have to cope with anyway. And if that is the case, realize you are not the first and last woman to make this discovery. Frankly, I myself have been there; I took pride in my martyrdom. But really, what's the sense in that?
I decided I didn't like being in a relationship with a narcissist. I also knew I never wanted to be in a relationship with one again, though I suspect I met one or two along the path on my way to recovery.
Your life is yours to live as you please; you have to make your own choices. I suspect, though, that you give your life - and your narcissistic spouse - a good hard look. You might realize you've been bonded to a fantasy that was probably never more than that.
Meanwhile, you stay stuck loving a narcissist while he serves up a mixture of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse - and some great times, too - to keep you hooked in and doing exactly what he pleases.
Why should you expect differently? Remember, he is self centered, he is self absorbed, and he lacks empathy. And because of his grandiosity, he feels entitled to do as he pleases. In turn, everyone else is here to serve him and meet his needs.
They must be kept in line and under his thumb.
Yes, these are the spots of the narcissist. And no, they probably will not change. So really, is spending your life loving a narcissist the best use of both your love and your time?
I hope your moving your head back and forth.
Dr. Diane England writes for the woman married to a narcissist who is awakening to his narcissism, addictions, and perhaps not only emotional abuse and verbal abuse, but sexual abuse, too. If this is you, and you want to read more article on these topics, plus self development and spirituality or spiritual growth, visit her website at: www.NarcissismAddictionsAbuse.com
(NOTE: THIS SITE DOES NOT BELIEVE CODEPENDENCY EVER APPLIES IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS OR A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST. The Victim is NEVER EVER to blame in ANY WAY - NOR ARE THEY CODEPENDENT.)
Labels: abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, emotional rape, marriage counseling, narcissism, narcissist, ptsd, sexual abuse, trauma, verbal abuse
45 Comments:
- said...
I get something new or even more relatable information each time I read this one. Thanks
- said...
My ex wasn't openly abusive to me. He gradually eroded my confidence over several years. It was a slow process, but now I understand it was still abuse. At one point I actually thought I couln't make a sound decision. He bullied our oldest son which is what finally made me leave. He is re-married and wonderful to his new wife. He treats our boys like they are a drain on his finances. He targets our youngest as needing therapy. Actually tried to have his diagnosed as ADHD so the drugs would make him compliant. I have no problems with the kid. I could nver understand why therapists couldn't see through him. A few did: our marriage counselor when he said I should feel special because he married me and our oldest's therapist. I have been singl for 7 years now. I have trust issues. He told everyone I was the abuser, but he was able to find a new partner within 6 months of our divorce. When Ileft he said to me that it was my fault that he treated me poory, because I let him. I actually bought that at the time. I don't now. I'm a great gal that deserves to be treated well.
- said...
Mine sounds a bit like yours. We were married for 7 years and he was the most wonderful guy in the beginning. Very slowly however I was eroded also. He did his abuse in a quiet "iM THE DUMB GUY" way. His silence spoke louder than anything he even said. Our divorce has been final for 6 months now and he is getting ready to move in with another gal. Im sure she is a great gal and has a home of her own. She has no children so Im guessing they will live happily forever. I always felt that the biggest drain on my marriage was my baggage......OUR CHILDREN....The fact that he brought a pain in the neck daughter into our marriage meant nothing. this guy is a trip. I figure that EVERTYHING he told me and expressed in the beginning was all the opposite of who he is. I lived in a twilight zone. Wish I was a little healthier about it though.
- said...
I'm not sure what to do. I have been with my spouse for a few years now. There are immediate family members who stopped coming around because of all the promises made and big talk of grandiousity. We have lost just about everything because of this. I am afraid to come out and say something to spouse how I feel-in fear they would get angry and retaliate as they are very manipulitive and vengeful. I'm afraid a big blow up is going to insue between people I love and feel that I will be drawn into the middle where I will have to
- Barbara said...
get into INDIVIDUAL counseling ASAP. Make a plan and leave.
- Dean from Canada said...
In contrast to the previous commenture, I'm a man married to a narcissitic woman and I've seen all mentions of mistreatment in one variation or another. What woke me up was my sister who, after a call about 6 months ago, prayed for me over signs of abuse and narcissism she saw, and listened to me when my eyes were finally opened to the history of my now wife. What I revealed to her in both instances as well as e-mail exchanges left her shocked and she admitted, had she known of the information I sent to her several years ago, that she would have told me to run away as fast as I could from the woman. But, we share the most beautiful daughter we could ever be blessed with. And, like all fathers, I'm going to continue to do all I can for her, and to give her the love, approval and nurturing she needs.
- said...
I was married to a narrcisst for 22 years. I supported him in every way emotionally, financially and I took care of the children. It was about him and his grandiose plans all the time. I thought I could change him and he would be the man that I married. I kept referring to him as a sick version of himself. What I realized is that he was always who he was. It was my hope that he had this potential to be something better. I wasted a lot of time on him and his emotional abuse was horrific. He started dating while yes while we were still married openly in public not even two blocks from our home in front of our children. Why? He only cared about himself. He split me out of existence and started coming home at 6am. I kicked him out and hit a few speed bumps along the way but for the most part never looked back. Our divorce was official six months ago and he never sees his kid or provides child support. He has since moved in with the girlfriend. I suspect he has been living with her all along. The state is finally catching up with him and garnishing his wages. I since have moved away from him and started anew life with my kids. It is super hard but there is so much to be said for peace. From time to time he still tries to engage me but I only engage with him factually regarding the children. This isn't very often because he really isn't interested in the kids only how they make him look as a deadbeat dad. My family saw through him long ago. They respected my decision to my marriage vows but could see the toll he was taking on me. He sucked the life and my spirit put ou of me. They say I am doing well and have one less mouth to feed. His latest is trying to get the kids to meet his girlfriend. Again about him. Not about homework or taking them anywhere doing anything with them. About him. Since I kicked him out he has not spent one overnight with his children and rarely sees them. The both suffer from this and we have been in family counseling. I guess my advise is simple. Stop thinking the person will change. It's unlikely that they will I tried for 22 years and when I look back all the signs were there. I was in love with the man I thought he could be. Not who he was. As hard as it is get out while you can. Start taking care of yourself because he won't and find peace in that you can focus on you and healing. If you have children. Help them to heal.
- said...
Yet no place a look or call or go can help me get away from him without him getting visitation of my kids.
I'm all but dead from stress and worry and have no control I sit here paralyzed on a beautiful weekend day unable to take my kids out . I am depressed lonely and afraid daily and call every number I can find for help.
There is no help or refuge.
I can call cops on him but they actually left him alone and made me leave my place and run to my sisters as he was drunk.
I can't Live at my sisters. The shelters give me two weeks tops and with an apt in my name won't help me anyway.
Call the cops and he's back out next day seeking vengeance .
This article and the millions online describing the problem are getting me nowhere. So great I know the problem . Then they say get out and such . None are realistic and they just make me feel more and more hopeless.
- said...
I have been married to a narcissistic man for 23 years. In January it will be two years since he left me, after spending 1/2 of my inheritance from my mother and charging about $40K on my credit cards. He now has turned my three children against me and I am at a complete loss. There is nothing i can do or say to change what he has done. It is almost too much to bear.
- said...
Im married to a narcissistic woman. It doesnt get better, but far worse. I am a very passive man, I seen some signs early but didnt recognize then for what they were. Soon after we got married she became aggressive. Attacking everything I did. All of her shortcomings are my fault no matter how much I try to help her. I cant talk to her or she will rain down the wrath of GOD on me. She makes everything about her. Even my mothers passing last year. All this stress has been hard on my body and now I have health issues. (I still work, id rather be at work than home) whenever something happens to me she goes on a tangent and makes it about her. She ran off what few friends I have, and I stopped going to church. ( she will yell at me and be aggressive and loud anywhere, in front of anyone including my family) my family is now distant and I feel trapped. I know she does things on purpose to hurt me in some way, doesnt let me sleep, my things mysteriously end up missing or broken, when she does cook my portion is usually severely undercooked while hers is fine. (I have been hospitalized with food poisioning before). I have caught her doing or saying things and she will deny it, even if it was seconds later!!! Im contantly being accused of cheating. Ironically tired if her always going through my stuff I checked her email. In front of her and seen she had cheated on me. Even seeing the emails she denies it. I know I need ro leave her but she us emotionally unstable and I dont know what she would do.( to me or her) its funny um a big guy 6'5 265. But in a way I fear her. I have seen her truly angry before and she got physical with me. I woukd never and have never hit a woman. I was trying to walk out the house to get away. I eventually was able to leave, but she told her sister I hit her. The next day I got threatening emails from her family. I tried getting us a therapist but she wouldnt let him or me talk and it became a bash me session. When he requested to see me alone she called his office and raised hell to find out what was said. Needless to say thay ended that. My point is if you see the warning signs, man or woman. Run!!! It will only get worse!!!
- said...
Hello Everyone,
RUN do not stay with a narcissist!
I have been married to this man for forty-seven years. I finally left after I stood up to him and he hit me. This is not the first time this has happened but it will be the last! Now he is crying for me and has attempted to kill himself. Of course he never really kills himself. I am now waiting for the paperwork from the lawyer to be done.Then I do not know what will happen? Will he come after me and kill me? He has always said that "if he can not have me no one can" Let me put it this way. I rather be dead than live with him!
At least I will be free! They do not change ever!!!!!
- said...
is this site still active?
- said...
I am just shy of 25 years living with a narcissist. I have also supported him emotionally and financially. All the while having him verbally abuse me of all the things that I do wrong. The Narcissist has had no pressure, no stress and no nagging from me at all. Whenever I tried to disengage from him during his episodes -- he just kept up until I would finally confront him. We are just shy of 4 days from supposedly celebrating our 25th Anniversary and I asked him to move out. That will occur this weekend.
- said...
Most of these stories are a mirror image of my story. I am married for 20 years with a narcissist. On our 20th anniversary which also happens to be his birhday, He spent it with his mistress/co-worker who arranged an after work party ( Drinking, Dancing, smoking , you name it). Lies after lies. Came home @ 6AM. Lost his stable job. Night after night after work partying. I am not allowed to ask, get angry, or question all hi s inappropriate behavior. He has a nerve to scream & break things everytime he comes home drunk. I supported him emotionally, financially, physically throughout our marriage. He swept me off my feet in the beginning. We were childhood sweethearts so I thought. All along I thought We are going to grow old together in good times & in bad times but, it seems like I am the only one carrying all the problems while he is partying with his friends & mistress. Not to mention the the 35k he charge on our credit cards. While my 2 children are tightening our belts, he is living like an heiress/millionaire. He is sooo nice to his friends & strangers, but not to us. My children & I feel like we are walking in an eggshell. Outside the house he acts like the nicest person. He also has a problem with alcohol & smoking. He has 2 surgeries because of alcohol abuse, he has not stop drinking, smoking. He doen't listen to reasons. The worst part is He is driving while intoxicated. I don't know who to report this. He is not only a danger to himself but the worst part is he a danger to others. I don't know who to report to to stop him from Driving under the influence of alcohol, He's so called friens that he admoires & adores, don't even stop him from driving while intoxicated. He doesn't listen tome In his mind I am the enemy. He doesn't want to be told. I begged, cried for him to stop all the destructive behaviors that he is doing to no avail. I am drained mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, I don't know who to turn to. I am trying my best to be strong for my 2 beautiful children but it is not easy. All I can do is pray that he will come to his senses and grow up, be mature & responsible.
- said...
I dated a woman who was in a long term relationship with a narcissist. She had a series of very bad relationships, most if not all involving abuse, prior to him, who was just prior to me. When we dated, blinded by my infatuation, I did not see the signs of the abuse that she had suffered. She revealed to me that he repeatedly lied and cheated on her, and tried to mold her into a trophy wife. It was only towards the very end of our relationship, and after that the scales were lifted from my eyes, and it scared me, and made me fearful for her. Constantly putting herself down, not wanting to be noticed shrugging off and quickly denying that past abuse still had an effect on her, revealing information regarding ongoing terrible relationships in her immediate family, surprise that I was not prone to excessive profanity, bouts of extreme jealously, flirtation with other women while we dated. I did not "listen" like I should. I regret not saying something when I had the opportunity. When our relationship ended abruptly, I was in shock. I recently found out why. She got back together with him. Left the home and city and friends she loved, for a new job 1,000 miles away from all of that. And she got engaged to him. I am not a religious person, but I am still praying for her that she will find escape from his clutches and true happiness in life.
Do not be afraid to speak up. Find someone to help you take appropriate action if a loved one is in an abusive relationship. Support the person and help them break free.
- said...
My God reading your post I thought it was me writing. I too am married to a narcissists, been married for 10 years. I also married my childhood sweetheart. In the beginning he showered me with gifts all the time. Very charming individual I just knew I had married my king. WRONG!!! Well the gifts stopped, the flowers stopped use to get flowers and a beautiful card everytime he got paid. Not anymore. He doesn't even talk to me it has been about a month now and frankly I don't care anymore. I just wish he would move but he won't. Well I finally made up in my mind I deserve better. I owe it to myself to be happy. Why do I need you if we don't even communicate. I don't!! So I have file for divorce again filed 2 years ago but called it off. I will be so glad when this is all over. The funny thing about this is I still love him but I must love myself more!!!!!
- Danica Gale said...
I was married to a narcissist for 6 years. We have one daughter. We've been divorced now for 1.5 years. Now, he's trying to overturn our divorce and RE-divorce me in HIS new state. They never quit! Surely it won't go anywhere but it's scheduled for court soon. Read more here if you'd like:
- said...
Almost 25 yrs with my narcissistic husband. 3 daughters with this man. Only recently did I find out for sure exactly what the name was for the way he has treated me for all these years. From treating me like a queen in the beginning, spending too much money on expensive gifts for me, to now barely have 2 words to say to me. He would rather be out with friends hunting or fishing rather than spending time with his family or taking vacations, but then he says he missed me while he was gone. Sex has always been an issue with this man, if he wasn't getting any from me then I was giving it to someone else, so he accused me. LOL, sex isn't important to me and he has told me that I need to have my horomones checked, because I didn't need sex very often so there must be something wrong with me. He has alienated me from all my friends. Either by moving us away to remote Alaska or telling such horrible stories about me that nobody wants to talk to me. I can only speculate but I would have plenty of friends and people who would want to talk to me when they would see me then they would avoid me and I never knew why. Maybe it's me and I'm the horrible person and he is totally normal. For years I always said he was a chameleon. How many more years can I put up with this? I don't know. I've gone through severe depression because of the loneliness. I still have my girls at home so I do have them but if they weren't still at home? I don't know what will happen to me. If I could have only gotten out years ago, if I had only seen the signs and truely known the hell I was going to have to put up with I would have left him 24 yrs ago. We still sleep in the same bed but that is all we have in common. I was never able to work, he would make my life hell when I did. He would go into jealous rages or not help out with the kids or housework, frequently calling me at work or showing up way too much. He made me totally dependent on him. I'm in my late 40's and now it would be extremely hard for me to get a job earning enough income to support myself. I am making sure my daughters are getting a college degree so they will hopefully be able to support themselves and not have to put up with what I've put up with. I think they see but they don't say anything, I hope they understand and possibly prevent this from happening to them. Big hugs to everyone out there who feels as worthless and alone as I do. When I thought all the gifts and treated me like a queen was only a scam to get me hooked, pregnant and dependent.
- said...
JESUS! It will be 6yrs for me & I can't fathom the idea of 25! What is the deal w/ the financial instability, I was raised that the man was the provider, DEFINITELY NOT the case in this house
- #been.there.left.that said...
If you have kids... LEAVE! If not for your sake, do it for theirs. They learn what they live... To abuse or be abused.
If they threaten to hurt themselves if you leave... Don't believe it. They are so much in love with themselves, they couldn't do it. (Another attempt to control you).
If you don't feel safe leaving this person... Get some help from a domestic violence shelter. Make a safe exit plan. They are pros at that and can guide you through it.
TRUST ME!!! I HAVE LIVED THIS, LEFT THIS AND SURVIVED THIS. You will too.
Get some counseling for yourself and for your kids. You all must process this experience for what it is... ABUSE. You have to learn to recognize traits you never saw and help your kids to unlearn what they've seen as "normal behavior" between two people. It isn't normal.
- said...
My wife and I were the first lesbian couple to get married legally in our county and we were so happy to be able to finally say our "I Do's". 6months later she left me out of the blue! We had been together since 2012 with a 6 month break up. And after learning about narcissism through my counselor I now realize my wife is that and also a borderline! We haven't divorced yet but she has moved out! What was once a fairytale has now become a nightmare. And in the process of all of this I've been diagnosed with a rare cancer and she doesn't care! My health was getting worse prior to her leaving and I just kept avoiding going to the doctors mainly because I was scared of them finding something and also because I was too busy making her happy! She says it's my fault that I have cancer and that I should of listen to her in the past. All I did was devote my time, love, heart, compassion, and commitment to her and she sucked it in but gave nothing in return! I'm so hurt and confused and depressed! I'm struggling with the manipulation she put me through and pain she has cause while fighting cancer! I've been diagnosed with ptsd because of all of this and it sucks. I have days where I miss her so much but I have to remind myself that what I thought was my wife was just an illusion she never really truly loved or cared for me and that the last three years I got sucked into her world of misery. The struggle and pain she put me through is real but I still can't seem to get over her. The divorce is coming up soon and she still hasn't giving me closure except that she is getting help now and it only took her to realize she needed help after destroying my life! Battling her abuse and her lies hurts more than battling cancer! ��
- Anon said...
All of this is slowly killing me. I'm empty inside. I wish I had known about this before him. I have ruined my life. They sure know how to win you only to let you down. He is everything he said he wasn't and nothing he said he was. I give up
- Writings from Wolf Ranch said...
Thank you for that lucid web post. I thought I was going crazy for a minute there. I recently ended a relationship with a narcissist. It was a slow process and even though I didn't marry the fellow it eroded my self confidence and personality almost to the state of blank. From reading all of these heartfelt stories, I feel like I was the lucky one. His narcissism was intertwined with a severely advanced alcoholic disease state. He routinely disappeared. The last time he disappeared and hung the phone up my arm went into the air. I realized at that exact moment I was finally finally free. It saved me from so many terrors that awaited me in a future that I did not have to experience. I count my blessings every day now as never before. For I know I will never have the police in my front yard. I will never be bankrupt. The list is at least a hundred items long. In the end I learned more lessons from this experience than from any other. I now have healthy boundaries. I've learned to stand up for myself and actually take the initiative BEFORE I was cornered yet again by this person's attempt to reunite. Its just like Oprah Winfrey says, if somebody shows you who they are believe them the first time. Never before has that lesson Rung true deep into my soul as this experience. Ive learned to pay attention to those "inklings" I so often drowned out before. Even my body reacted to this person when I was physically near him. THAT was my first real clue. By God's grace and a physical distance of 200 miles I was able to discover my own inner strengths I never knew exsisted before. I think I can now allow myself permission to be vulnerable without being blind. To those still finding their way out of the pit, speak your truth and keep speaking it until your soul finds joy again..
- said...
I was with mine for 3 and I felt like it was a death sentence. The most suffocating and traumatic time of my life. My vulnerabilities were used to bully me and kept on eating away at my self esteem. I experienced all the abuse and thought he would change. I now realized people like him cannot love anyone be it a wife, friends or even their own family members. Everyone and everything is an opportunity for them to play their game. They want to get from A to B and they will no matter how many people get stepped on in the process. They are manipulators who use reverse psychology. Im glad i had the courage to say that I will not tolerate it and i deserve better!!!Good riddance and i feel that i can now breathe and enjoy the colours of life :-)
- said...
Sitting here crying; this article hits the nail on the head in a major way. I feel like I was duped with flowers and romance; he treated me so well when we met; we are going on our 3rd year of marriage and I feel like I don't even know this man anymore. Nothing I do is good enough. My efforts for anything, e.g., a nice dinner, date night, etc. go either unnoticed or I get a "yea, it was good". So sad. I don't know what I'm going to to.
- Bernadette Hamilton said...
Dear all.
I finally had the guts to leave my abusive cerebral narcissist of a husband today.
And I mean I had the entire house packed up.
Not going to give a long story about it as every story here shows everything he did to me.
Controlling, isolation of friends, trying to tell me what I feel, I had a drink problem (I didn't. He did. He drunk seven strong ales and 3/4 of a bottle of whisky one night! All Transference and projection!)
Only married 8 months. Four of those months he REFUSED to even sleep in the same bed as me. The verbal abuse and psychological abuse escalated so.... I finally had the guts to leave him today.
Cried and cried and cried and retching lots but I did it.
He watched me walk out the door and just had an absolute emotionless face.
Narcissist narcissist narcissist!
Still texting me as if nothing wrong. The man is in pure denial!
Now comes the no contact bit!
This is so hard!
- Becky Snow said...
I'm not 100% certain my husband is a narcissist, but he has a lot of the signs. I hear the daily degradation, with excuses & "you misunderstood me" if I call him on it. But the comments are so slight, just barely there. He blames me for everything, & I think he "loves" me because I'm pretty (yay?) Because he'll shell out the money to buy me nice clothing or gym membership, but if I ask to buy a used book for $10 I hear gripes. Not to mention I got rid of my library because he hated it.
But I think I could take all that if it weren't for the condescension & his cold eyes. When he argues with me (I'm a peaceful person, I hate yelling) he coldly says "you don't understand, do you". As if I'm some moron.
- said...
I'm looking in a mirror, reading all of this. It's been 15 years and I left once and came back. My sons are 9 and 11 now and the youngest is certainly picking up the negative vibes aND treating me the way he sees me treated. I am at a loss, scared and broken. I don't know where to start. I have no money, no possessions (that he'd let me have anyway) and no clue what to do. I've been with him since I was 18 and honestly don't know if I am string enough.
- said...
It's been almost 6 years I married this man and my life changed in more ways than I ever thought. While I was still trying to understand some of his negativity towards others I wasn't really prepared to face what was forthcoming as I became pregnant and had our first child...the relationship went downhill pretty fast, it was all about him in everything he does for himself and everything he does for anyone....I was living in denial and constantly battling with how his behavior was changing so dramatically and trying to talk and make sense of it and make it work. I ve been a strong independent working woman who's done well for herself before marriage...i just couldn't believe what I was made to think of myself now...it was always my fault and I don't take responsibility for my actions.....part of me was also blaming myself and then after a lot of self talk I would think I could deal with it..I should try to make it better now that I have a child..in making it better we have another child...relocated...left my job so he could provide and may be appreciate what my contributions were.... after some quite time....when I didn't agree to some of his expectations to use my savings where he wanted...it started all over again...as my delivery time came near...his behavior further degraded...my research did make me realize I've been abused...the treatment I got in this marriage was explained as form of domestic violence....I kept saying that I won't let that happen to me again....I won't be as vulnerable, I have lowered my expectations of him and have my family support this time.....it wasn't until recently that I found myself reading something I can so relate to...it feels like someone has put my experince in words...I have recently discovered And I am so sure that's it the real problem...my husband has Narcissistic Personality disorder....I do not want to put up with any of his tantrums any more...I need to get back on my feet again ...I do have two daughters with him and its unfortunate I do have to deal with him for their sake....just don't know how...just practicing separation under one roof...and keep wondering g and debating about my next step....
- said...
Good advise because a person who is dealing with a narcissist person feels very trapped, alone and isolated from the world. To have a friend who WILL LISTEN can save them in everyway...especially possibily give them the strength to leave. If nothing else it WILL help them keep their sanity...please share your knowledge with other people because so many people are in disbelief and make the victim feel like a liar. Im telling you and all who read this...your actions or non actions can save a life...or lives if there are childern and other family members involved. I have been married to one for about 8 years...its been a total complete nightmare. I dont even have one good memory. He has destroyed every holiday..every event...every vacation and the day to day is a roller coaster. I am disabled. I have fibro and im already in so much pain...and all the stress causes more. I havent received my benifits because they want to argue and say i can work. If i could...beleive me that i would not stay in this relationship. I have no income and altho he complains that im sick and dont do enough for him...he likes me being sick because the financial power is all he has over me. I havent been inlove for years. Hes cruel and takes no responsibility for anything..infact he lies and denys saying or doing anything wrong...and then tries to conveince me that i said or did things that infact I KNOW I DIDNT. It is a circle of games that he plays. If i try to ignore him...he will break something, misplace something...something and then deny that. Im tired. Hes a syco and i know i can not be a healthy person living with him..physically or mentally. Everyday its a challenge to take care of myself and still comply with his demands. And if he dosent get what he wants theres a list of threats and displays of action he goes thru. There is no such thing as happy. He hates happy. His happy is making me miserable and he dose a wonderful job. Hes done nothing but abuse me. I tried going to my church and they took his side...yeah really..and they baptisted him...but things have not changed at all. Infact his lies have got worse and my health is going down fast. I am trapped. I feel like a dog in a cage and he likes it because it gives him power. The ONLY good thing i can say about him is that he dose work hard. Thats it. His character is as fake as a 7 dollar bill. If you know someone who is going thru this...be a friend. Sometimes we just need someone to listen...we need a reality check. We are emotional because what they do is so crazy its hard for a normal person like us, to process. The abuse is huge and its powerful. But i do love God and i know God sees and feels all this man is doing. I know that when Jesus comes back and i hopefully go to heaven...all this pain will be gone...and he will have to answer for what hes done. I used to pity him..i thought he didnt really know what he was doing but i learned HE DOSE KNOW. And he dose it all on purpose. It hurts but i mostly just have anger now. But its my job to forgive and let revenge be Gods. So im waiting to leave, waiting to finally LIVE
- said...
Same story here but i had physical abuse too. He was arrested in Usa came back to india without completing Ltd .Capias was issued. So he can never get back to the USA . He took all these frustrations on me. It was me who bailed him out wen he was arrested . But his abuse never stopped .after giving a long hope at 3.5 years I decided to call it quits. I am happy now . I deservevto be treated better and I am sure that one day I will find a perfect person who deserves my love and reciprocated the same. This fellow dies not deserve my love and care . I am an Indian
- said...
Allow me to shed light on how we all ended up with a narcissist: likely, one of our parents was. We were conditioned as children to be their submissives. Now, as adults, we marry that image we falsely thought was a safe zone. This is me. I'm the daughter of a narcissistic mother, now married to one. I'm in absolute hell. I have sacrificed having children for this pathetic excuse of a husband. They will self-destruct in order to destroy you. You are the stronger one and a challenge for them to bulldoze over.
Stay tuned, our stories have only just begun. My childhood was especially bad, my marriage of almost 18 years now is the same road to hell. I'm writing a book now about this cycle and we are their prey.
- Debbie said...
I started dating my husband 5 1/2 years ago. He swept me off of my feet. Flowers, expensive jewelry and surprise trips. He asked me to marry him many times. We got married in August and he completely changed. He shit down and picked fights with me. Overly jealous and controlling of my time. Cut me off from friends and family. Stopped talking to me. Every thing was my fault. He cheated on me. But that was my fault. I just moved out a week ago because he thinks we need space. He says he loves me and wants to fall in love again. He's controlling everything including when we see each other and it's on his terms. I'm so depressed and cry all of time. I truly love him. I'm so lost
- Debbie said...
I'm going through the exact thing. Together 5.5 years. Married only a few months when he started this. I moved out a week ago. It's terrible. I love him.
- said...
I have been married for 7 years. It started out great - he put me on a pedastul and made me feel great. After marriage, sex was non-existent. I kept trying to figure out why. He was only interested in buying a boat, hanging out with guys and sailing. He wouldn't tell me when he would be home - he would just respond 'I can't say, this is how I role'. Finally found evidence that he had been having cyber sexual relationships since we were dating. He was never faithful to me. Even wih evidence and talking to some of the women, he still denies it and says they are lying because they wanted him so much and he denied them. He will apologize one minute and then say he didn't do anything wrong in the next. His game is a total mind game to make me think I am the idiot. I finally kicked him out. Now he says that I ruined our marriage because I invaded his privacy and found out what he was doing. It is hard to end things, but I don't feel the anxiety and neglect anymore. We have a one year old daughter and I will not let her grow up thinking her Mom is a miserable person. For all of you who stay, don't waste your time. I know everyone can change, but these guys think they are perfect and don't need to change. They will never apologize because they don't think they did anything wrong. I know I deserve better and that someone is out there for me. I just wish I hadn't wasted so much time with the idiot. I believe that karma comes around to everyone. He may not ever realize what he lost, but at least I know what I got rid of. I am going to stay strong and get through this. You all should realize you are worth it and do the same! No man is worth such agony.
- Unknown said...
Ive been with mine for. 8 years. And have nobody except my 2 boys i have a order of protection against him which is temporary i wish he was dead i believe hemay have sexual assulted my boys dfs was called and wont look into it any more because hes not around hes been gone a month im going crazy im moving us back home in two weeks if we make it because i will do anything to protect my children from a maligant narcissist sadist father i dont feel do alone since reading these and i know i can fo it for years he knew how to trigger my aniexty amd shut me down to where i was in a dreamstate not being able to find anything or see and hear thethings going on around me i would always wake up amd fight for my life and somehow he would get in my mind and it would be to much for me and i would forget everything its hard to tell reality from what he made me belive
- Solo said...
Excuse me. What do you love about him?
- said...
I just can't believe that it has taken me 20 years to figure out that my ex is the true definition of a narcissist. I think it might be because we married young, I was the one that had two affairs. One when we were first married and then another 13 years later after I grew tired of NEVER being able to make him happy.He was always able to use that and my guilt to make me feel like the cycle of loving me beyond words then hating me to the point that he turned cold as ice was normal. Making me feel like I was always in the wrong and I was a bad person.That others felt this way too, even got me to believe it a few times. After all I was the cheater. This has gone on for 20 years.. Even after we divorced and he moved on (with someone who he was cheating on me with but again that is my fault) he has still had me in chains. Up until nowv(when I finally figured out who he really is) I have constantly had hope that we could truly love each other with no conditions.
- said...
My final straw took place just last week. He remarried last October and I truly thought the cycle was over. Of course he chose to marry after we had a brief affair last summer in which he was going to leave her bc she was not making him happy and come back to me. Then I, of course did something wrong and he ran back to her leaving myself and kids confused and trying to wrap our brains around it, once again.
Then in December we started talking again and he convinced me that he was unhappy in his marriage, he never gave us a true shot, he loved me more than anything...same song and dance but my unconditional love for him made me once again decide to give him a chance...hoping this time would be different. From January to May he showered me with love and promises. "Good morning, you're amazing, you're my world, I have changed, I see you have changed, we are going to be so good this time, you're my soul mate, I love you more than you will ever know...blah blah blah." But I, once again fell hard and thought for the first time that we could do this.
- said...
He did fulfill his promise of leaving his current wife who according to him was "totally crazy, not affectionate enough, selfish, controlling, bad kisser, bad lover, rebound to help him get over me." Name it, he told me about it. And I believed every word. After all, we have been together since I was 16 and I knew that he just ran to her to escape me (which I do believe is true just didn't realize then that this cycle will never change). In June I started to feel an increasing feeling of fear and doom and didn't really know why. After all he left her, I was doing everything to ensure and protect us and our future. Our kids were told and on board. We even went on a family trip to Chicago during fathers day (this is actually when I started to have doubts bc he was still talking to his ex, wanted to keep us a secret from his friends and family to "protect me"). He was still being affectionate but has already started to fall into his old ways of being snappy, controlling, getting angry very easily, nitpicking at everything. The "good mornings" and "I love you" become less frequent and more forced (I am in no way a need person but when you go from that extreme to nothing it does leave one confused, especially since we have been through this cycle before).
It wasn't until June 25 when he was going through my phone (decided to be completely open I had nothing to hide so I let him go through everything). Opened up everything to him to show him that I was trustworthy. He did the same with me but I felt no need to trespass on him, I wanted to trust him and didn't feel it was healthy to "hunt" for flaws. On June 25th He found a text from a year ago that meant nothing to me, I didn't even remember about the text. It was irreverent to us then and now but it was a correspondence between myself and another male. Just to show that I have nothing to hide and I'm not trying to look perfect, it was at a time when Sean and I were talking last summer and even had even slept together a week before. But he was still with his fiancé (now wife) and I sent him a text the day prior telling him that we needed to stay away from each other until he figured out what he wanted. This however was inexcusable and the finger was once again pointed at me. This tripping block back into his narcissistic rage and his true self showed its ugly face again. He went cold, accused me of being a liar, a cheater, not changing, not being able to trust me again. Turned cold and as I recently found out (tried to hide it from me but my gut and the fact that he has done this before) he was secretly seeing and trying to work out the mess he made with his current wife all the while keeping me wondering and waiting what was going on. Feeling guilty for things that I should not feel guilty for.
Now here I am again, but I feel stronger and see him for who he really is. Still after all of this I have the desire to want to help him even though I am reading that there may be no help. For myself and my children who have suffered enough, I need to know how to heal and end this vicious cycle...FOREVER! I need to break the chains that he continues to put me in but I need all the help I can get! HELP!!!
- Finnally free💖 said...
I was married to mine for 29 years. He always made me feel unimportant. And the awful things he would say about me in front of the children. I can truly say birthing my 4 children was easier then the day I served him for devorice. I was terrified. So... proud!!!! I feel like I can do anything. 3 years to plan the devorice and be brave enough to carry it out.
- Finnally free💖 said...
3 years of planning. After 26 years of marriage, So proud And happy to leave the abuse behind. Almost devoriced for a year now. It can done. 😊😊😊
- Finnally free💖 said...
I was married to mine for 29 years. He always made me feel unimportant. And the awful things he would say about me in front of the children. I can truly say birthing my 4 children was easier then the day I served him for devorice. I was terrified. So... proud!!!! I feel like I can do anything. 3 years to plan the devorice and be brave enough to carry it out.
- said...
Waoh! I see myself in every comment right here. I thank God, I decided to end this and all hope that he would change. In this marriage of 4.5 years I've gone from a very happy and outgoing person to a constantly sad and withdrawn one. My husband has always played the withdrawal of love with me. No unconditional love at all. I will receive crumbs of affection when I please him. It is always my fault. I'm always seeing things. What I hate about him the most us that he look at other women when me and act totally distant from me outside. But he NEVER accepts it. I'm always wrong. He stopped sleeping with me a year and a half ago. Supposedly because I don't let him sleep with my talking when asleep. Then he left me and went out of the country cause he couldn't leave under the same roof with me. I got depressed. After one month I went to him. He treated me like shit. Sex was always lesser. I was the one always making the first move. But he could not have sex for weeks. He had never worked. He is waiting for that prestigious position or incredible business that will leave him tons of money. After 2 months I left and went to our home out of the country. We spent 3 months appart and comunication seemed better. We used to talk more by phone than together. I went to visit him again (he never did, stupid me). When I arrive at the airport he saw me as cold as I ever saw him. I ignored it and hugged him. He didn't even hug me back. He just padded me in the back. I was embarrassed of this scene. I spent one month with him and today is the third day I left him. I feel down in my bones is the true one. The last one. The real one. He haven't called me, not even once. Before leaving, I saw him behaving very excited and nervous around a friend. I suspected something. I confronted him. Of course he denied it. But I had a very strong gut feeling. And I decided to go with it. I stopped talking to him for two days before leaving. He was trying to make it up to me like never before. That's how I knew I was unto something. I wasn't going to sTay to be humiliated. I left him. I thank God, I have a very good guy friend helping me through it all. He has been able to open my eyes as a man. And it helped me to get out from the controlled and manipulative environment where there was no self-esteem and only Co-dependency. The thing is...I'm a clinical psychology doctoral candidate. None is exempt of falling into past habits. I grew up with a very distant, cold and emotionally unavailable alcoholic father. I ended up with my husband because of this. This need to prove that we can be loved and that we can really make them love us. Anyway, I've had to put all my career in a leave. Right know I'm lifting all the pieces of my life.I'm dealing with anxiety in all its forms; panic attacks, ptsd. Deppression and in the top of all Borderline Personality Disorder. May God help us all. I have faith in a better future and hope of new love.
- said...
I truelly doubt if he's the wonderful husband that you think that he is. I too fell deeply in love with a narcissist. He left his children's mother to move into my home. He lied to me and told me that they had been separated for a year. He was wonderful to me...at first and I became his tool of triangulation. He painted a beautiful picture of our relationship as well. I too allowed him to plaster all those happy go lucky pics on social media, knowing full well that those pics were taken in between stomp down arguements and chaos. Narcissist pretend so much that their mates learn to grin and bare it because they are too embarrassed to let the world know that they love a creep that treats them poorly. Please trust that our relationship was quite the contrary of what he portrayed it to be. I secretly hated him because i knew he was a selfish lying cheater! He left our home for a month almost every year of our relationship to go play daddy only to hoover his way back home. The last time he left home, I found out he was getting married just 30 days later. I was extremely shattered. It's just been about 2 weeks since his wedding and I'm starting to get over not having him around. I confronted him and his bride to be and upon a whisper from him in her ear they laughed a lil bit. I think I laughed harder tho because the poor soul doesn't know her husband like I do. We both stood there in the same jewelry and The same cheap azz engagement rings and she feel as though she won the prize. I feel otherwise. Peace of mind is priceless.


text: AdChoices Terms of Use Privacy Policy Hide TOP 10 Top 10 Dating Proven Ways To Prep For A First Date Share Tweet 0 Shares 10. Reconfirm your plans DieselDemon/Flickr Don't get caught by nasty surprises on your date. Double check reservation dates and times to set your mind at ease and ensure there were no mix-ups on your part or that of the person recording your reservation. Also, it doesn't hurt to have a "Plan B" in case "Plan A" falls through for some unforeseeable reason. Keep "Plan B" fun and simple -- like picking up some great take out and eating it in a park. Next Page TOP 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Comments Share your opinion Your name More Like This Dating Tips That Moment You Know There Won't Be A Second Date Read More Sex and Dating Too Much Tongue? Hair-Pulling? Save It For The Second Kiss, Buddy. Read More Single Girl's Opinion What Hot Women Really Want In A Guy Read More Dating News Trending News: Here's How To Make A Bad Impression On A First Date Read More Fun Lists Want To Immediately Impress Everyone You Meet? Here's What To Do Read More Fashion If There's Any Occasion That Warrants Looking Good, It's A First Date Read More Around the Web Special Features Special Feature Experts Reveal How To Get The Job Of Your Dreams Read More Guy Gear The Best Watches For Men Under $500 Read More Dating The Ultimate Guide To Hooking Up Online Read More Groming Guide 15 Best Beard Trimmers On The Market Read More Grooming Guide The Best Razors Of 2016 Read More Fitness Gear Finding The Right Gym Bag Read More

subset: commoncrawl


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CBS (8 p.m. ET)
Joe Namath hosts as squads from the universities of North Carolina (the '78 champs), Southern California, Tulsa, Mississippi and Michigan State leap. Guests include Lola Falana, Suzanne Somers, the Osmonds and Terry Bradshaw.
Picks and Pans Review: The 2nd Annual National Collegiate Cheerleading Championships
updated 04/16/1979 AT 01:00 AM EST
•originally published 04/16/1979 AT 01:00 AM EST


text: germany Archive Justin Bieber & Bryan Adams Performs Baby (Live & Acoustic) in Berlin, Germany -VIDEO Justin Bieber & Bryan Adams are performing Justin's hit-single "Baby" live and acoustic. Spontaneous duet of Posted by: jbz 16/9/2015 34 Read More Justin Bieber and Beliebers Take Over Berlin + Starbucks Chaos, Germany -VIDEO Justin Bieber arrived in Berlin on Monday to promote his new single "What Do You Mean?" Posted by: jbz 15/9/2015 31 Read More Justin Bieber Hits Paparazzi with Car Door in Berlin, Germany -VIDEO Justin Bieber arrived in Berlin, Germany on Monday, ahead of promoting his smash hit single "What Posted by: jbz 15/9/2015 20 Read More Justin Bieber pays $10,700 for Abandoning Mally Pet Monkey in Germany The German Federal Nature Conservation Agency says Justin Bieber finally paid out $10,700 last week, which Posted by: jbz 25/8/2014 10 Read More VIDEO: Justin Bieber Performing in Cologne, Germany April 6, 2013 Justin Bieber concert at LANXESS Arena in Cologne GERMANY on 06 April 2013. 15+ pics inside Posted by: jbz 7/4/2013 18 Read More Video: One Less Lonely Girl Cologne, Germany 4/6/2013 Justin Bieber Performing Live One Less Lonely Girl at ALNXESS ARENA 06.04.2013 Cologne Köln Believe Tour Posted by: jbz 7/4/2013 153 Read More 123456


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It is dangerous to limit the freedom of any living organism to adjust itself to changing conditions. In particular, the freedom to move about and change position is essential, and to restrict it is to invite serious trouble. The mass of evidence on which this conviction is based continues to grow. It has been augmented recently by two significant publications.
Lillington and his associates1 used the techniques of bronchospirometry to study the functioning of the right and left lungs separately in five normal men. The experiment involved the introduction of a bronchospirometric catheter under fluoroscopic guidance after appropriate medication and the use of oscillometric galvanometers and a photokymograph. This made it possible not only to compare the rate of volume flow on right and left sides but also to compare the rates of nitrogen clearance during oxygen-breathing on the two sides in different positions. The results confirmed earlier reports
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Why should home care be the theme on Understanding and Remembrance Day for Severe ME on August 8? Helen Brownlie of the 25% ME Group has written an explanation for Phoenix Rising ...
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Modern Family episode guide season 8
Modern Family stars the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan, a wonderfully large and blended family. Together these three families give us an honest and often hilarious look into the sometimes warm, sometimes twisted, embrace of the modern family.
All Episodes
S8 E1 Season 8 Premiere: A Tale of Three Cities
After recent trips take the Dunphys to New York; Mitch, Cam and Lily to the Midwest; and Jay, Gloria, Manny and Joe to Juarez, Mexico; the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan reunites.
S8 E2 A Stereotypical Day
Jay does not want to give the new family moving in across the street the wrong impression and goes out of his way to make sure they know he is the best kind of neighbor, while Manny decides that the best way to an attractive and radical-thinking teenage girl's heart is through his actions.
what's on tonight
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text: Jon and Kate Plus Eight Minus One 1 5/16/2009 1:30 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF ... equals sadness. But don't worry, wherever Kate Gosselin is, she's probably getting adequately body-guarded.Jon Gosselin and the rest of the clan spend some quality time together -- presumably while Mom gives another interview about her hair. See Also Kate Gosselin's Bodyguard -- The New Costner? 'Kate Plus 8' Takes Her Weave Shopping


text:
Box Chevy V Lyrics[Verse 1]
I'm out the gate like a race horse
Made in the A of course, that's A for Alabama
I'll be damned if I say Georgia
Tennessee in this bitch
I got some Hennessy I just paid for
Give me the big bottle, fuck it
If I break it, I'll pay for it
My ladies laying in the Chevrolet
And I say "lord thank you for giving me
This baby girl on a suede horse"
Yeah, this ain't no gay Ford
I'm pushing bowties till I die
And I'm gonna ride to my legs sore
Folks I got a six fo'
Plus a Beretta sitting in the floor
Better protect yours
In my Chevrolet, My Box Chevrolet
Got that Glock laid in my lap
In case you want to play
In my Chevrolet, My Box Chevrolet
Let's go get you all cleaned up
And ride around all day
[Verse 2]
(Still) hitting them corners on the low pro's girl
(Still) I'm an American Rock N Roll grand baby
Five generations of taking pictures with Grand-Am
The Chevrolet Slim Shady
There's no way you can save me
Bass boat flakes, you never seen such
Roll down my window like "Who I am? does it mean much?"
Burning treads of a thousand dollars tires with a clean touch
Six hundred horses running behind the mean clutch
Bitch I'm
[Verse 3]
Yea, windows washed, lookin' like a glass house
Glaze on the dash, leather is smelling like Ralph Lauren
Feels like I'm watching television on a couch snorin'
I must be dreaming leanin' back inside this chariot
Hitch on the back of this truck, my Harley I carry it
A chalice in wonderland, fill up my cup with, Jack D
And take my fucking keys that I don't, wreck it
Let me come sit on the passenger side and check it
How does it feel from over here? Oh blessed
This is for all the Chevy's that I collected
Big trucks, low riders, whatever the best is
To you man I just want to give you a message, oh
I used to sit on sidewalks like everyday
Watching punks and chumps and dunks get hella paid
But I just focused on my vision and never quittin'
Now man I'm sittin' in my vision with a reason to celebrate
I'm in my
[Hook: X2]
Si les paroles de 'Box Chevy V' contiennent des erreurs, laisse nous un commentaire. On fera le maximum pour les corriger dans les plus brefs délais.


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LOS ANGELES — More owners are reporting lost or stolen pets, but the online nation is coming to the rescue.
The number of dogs being stolen in the United States has gone up dramatically in the last few years, the American Kennel Club said. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said thefts skyrocket in New York every summer when residents combine walking the dog with running errands.
Police will take a report if there's a witness or if a pet is extremely valuable. But animal-loving social media bloodhounds have jumped in to help, alongside any number of dog-finding companies, devices and apps.
Nearly 70 percent more dogs were stolen across the country in 2011 than a year earlier, AKC spokeswoman Lisa Peterson said. "It was the largest jump since we started keeping track in 2007," she said.
The club collects media reports about stolen pets and retrieves data from the AKC Companion Animal Recovery database, a mix of microchip filings and customer calls, she said. In 2011, the AKC recorded 432 stolen dogs, compared with 255 in 2010.
The numbers only skim the surface, she said. Facebook and Twitter are flush with lost or stolen pets.
Better records are impossible because the law defines pets as property, so even if a police report is filed, it won't be flagged just because a dog was taken, Los Angeles Police Department spokesman Kevin Maiberger said. If an animal is valued at more than $950, the crime will be bumped up to grand theft, but it still won't mention pets except in the list of stolen items, he said.
A lack of records doesn't mean a lack of tears, Cora Bennett of Somerset, Ohio, said.
Marissa Banik, her daughter, didn't stop crying for hours after pugs Chloe and Pugsy were stolen from their yard on Aug. 20.
Bennett and Banik called animal shelters, put up fliers, posted the theft on Facebook and other sites, called police, searched the neighborhood, talked to neighbors, posted a reward and followed several leads, Bennett said. "They are her babies," Bennett said.
In Amarillo, Facebook was crucial in helping owners find pets who scattered when the Willow Creek Kennels were destroyed by wildfires in February 2011.
"Facebook was a miracle that really helped out to find him," Amber Howard said of her Great Dane, Herman.
Herman was one of the last dogs found of those that fled the kennel after it was destroyed by the wildfire that tore through tens of thousands of acres.
"I think it helped a lot in finding him," Howard said. "It let people be aware that if they see a Great Dane walking around, he's missing and has been in a fire."
To prevent loss or
theft of your pet,
Peterson said:
■ Don't leave a dog unattended in a yard, especially if it's visible from the street.
■ If a stranger approaches to admire your dog, don't answer questions about the pet's value or where you live.
■ Never leave a dog alone in a car. Thieves in search of GPS systems or laptops might let a dog out.
■ Don't tie your dog outside a store. If you have errands, use pet-friendly stores or leave your dog at home.
■ Use a collar tag and microchip with updated online information.
If a dog does go missing, an owner should contact local animal shelters and neighbors. If anyone saw the theft, police will get involved. Some local newspapers, radio and TV stations put missing pets on their websites.
Digital services like petamberalert.com, lost
petcards.com and find
toto.com are growing, too. Each year, there are 10 percent to 15 percent more callers to petamber
alert.com, founder Mark Jakubczak said.
HomeAgain offers a free app called petrescuers, which taps into a network of 900,000 people nationwide. You must be a member to report a lost pet, but there is no charge to those who find pets, company spokesman Ryan Smith said.
Other pet-finding companies include ipetalert, lostpetusa and lostpettracker.
Features Editor Chip Chandler contributed to this report.


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Grey Light Aqua
Seeley trainer by adidas
- - Built on the same frame as the Gazelle
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Footwear should be unworn and in its original packaging. Your refund will then be processed back to your original method of payment.Click here for more information on returns.


text:
Desiree de Moya, Esq.Shared publicly -
Free Divorce Consultation and Free Bankruptcy Consultation. We offer payment plans. 90% of our clientele comes via referrals from existing or former clients. I attribute our thriving practice to listening well, we legitimately care, we're straight forward and we work with people one-to-one. We provide personal and professional counsel to every client, taking the time to build a strong relationship in order to understand their specific legal concerns and objectives. We've recently expanded our staff to meet the needs of our clients. We want to become your 'Family Attorney', the lawyers you turn to when a legal issue arises.


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Getting started in the AJGA
PBE Map
Ten reasons to play in Qualifiers
Champions Report: August 31-September 5
Tour Highlights
Sign-up for Leadership Links
Three Things: Sunday at #JrPLAYERS
AJGA Girls Championship looks to add 2016 chapter
ACDS Junior All-Star Team Announced
The Insider: August 2016
The American Junior Golf Association is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to the overall growth and development of young men and women who aspire to earn college golf scholarships through competitive junior golf.
2016 © All Rights Reserved.
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- General information enquiries
- Call 00 800 6 7 8 9 10 11
- E-mail your questions
Directorate-General for Health and Food Safety
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The Committee provides opinions on health and environmental risks related to pollutants in the environmental media and other biological and physical factors or changing physical conditions which may have a negative impact on health and the environment (e.g. in relation to air quality, waters, waste and soils). It also provides opinions on life cycle environmental assessment. It shall also address health and safety issues related to the toxicity and eco-toxicity of biocides.
Without prejudice to the competences of the European Chemical Agency (ECHA), the Scientific Committee on Consumer Safety (SCCS) and other European risk assessment bodies, it may be invited to address questions on the toxicity and eco-toxicity of chemical, biochemical and biological compounds whose use may have harmful consequences for human health and the environment. In addition, the Committee will address questions relating to methodological aspects of the assessment of health and environmental risks of chemicals (including mixtures) for providing sound and consistent advice in its areas of competence and to contribute to relevant issues in close cooperation with other European agencies.
The committee usually produces its reports in response to a specific request.
At the end of the risk assessment process, the Committee adopts opinions. The Committee can also, at its own initiative, publish statements on specific topics.
For some opinions – of direct relevance to the public – a plain-language version is produced for non-specialists.
SANTE-C2-SCHER AT ec.europa.eu
Information on former Scientific Committees


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Shadow Wolf Mysteries: Cursed Wedding Collector's Edition
Average Rating 3 player reviews ( 3.7 out of 5.0 )
Break an ancient werewolf curse!
Game Description
Stop a vengeful werewolf in Shadow Wolf Mysteries: Cursed Wedding! After being called to Paris to help your friend Veronica, you find yourself in the middle of a shocking mystery. The ancient werewolf Mephistus has appeared in town seeking revenge on Veronica and her fiancé just days before their wedding. Explore the gorgeous streets of Paris as you uncover the truth behind the ancient werewolf curse in this thrilling Hidden Object game!
- Hours of bonus gameplay!
- Stunning wallpapers, screensavers and art
- Integrated strategy guide
- Downloadable music tracks
Most Recent Reviews To submit a rating or review, download this game
It worked until close to the end, when the items I would collect stopped showing up in my inventory, and I was unable to finish the game. It was pretty good before that, and lasted a long time, which I appreciate. See more See less
Good game for what I got to do in the trial...Makes you think about what you have to do. Great graphics, items not read hard to find. Mini games ok - not a fan of them. Lots of moving around but there is a strategy guide if you don't want to wait for the hints. Won't buy it at this price but maybe when the price goes down or it goes all acess. See more See less
For a howling good time... okay, that was bad. But this game is good. You have to track down a werewolf that is after a young bride. The HO scenes and mini games are easy. There is a lot of back and forth, but it is easy to keep track of what you need to do. No need for the hint button as there is a strategy guide that walks you through the entire game (but what's the fun in that?). The graphics are great. The characters interact, but you can skip through the dialogue if you like (but it is interesting to hear them speak!). Wish this was an All Access game. See more See less


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Here's the Story
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Chatbox Javascript
This project received 4 bids from talented freelancers with an average bid price of $159 AUD.Get free quotes for a project like this
Skills Required
Project Budget$30 - $250 AUD
Total Bids4
Project Description
I am running the basic irc webclient script "qwebirc" and need it altered into a simple avatar based chat. Please read the attached document.
Lots of work relating to this project when complete.
Looking to make some money?
- Set your budget and the timeframe
- Outline your proposal
- Get paid for your work
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Become a member and get unlimited access to the entire skills library of over 4,987 courses, including more Design and personalized recommendations.Start Your Free Trial Now
- Overview
- Transcript
- View Offline
In this exercise, we're going to add the dark circles around this guy's eyes, and we're also going to create some darkness under his lip that will help support the blood effect later. I've saved my progress as My friend the ghoul.psd, found inside the 07_refine folder. If you switch over to the Channels panel, you'll see that I've created this channel for you called shading. Go ahead and click on it to make it active. Now, it's nothing to write home about, which is why I've created this mask in advance. Notice that I've gone ahead and clipped away his eyes, so that we don't darken the interior of the eyes, that is. And then I've created these vague blobs around the eyes, and those represent the dark circles.
And I painted those in using a white brush, by the way. Then I reduced the brush opacity to 50%, and traced over the forehead, and around the cheeks. Then I painted a few times down here along the lower lip. Now, this is nothing more than a starting point for this mask, as you'll see. We're going to refine it a little bit in just a moment. But for now, I'd like you to Control+click, or Command+click, on the shading channel in order to convert it to a selection, and next, return to the RGB image. Switch back to the Layers panel.
Make sure that ghoul layer is selected, which should be the second to top layer in the stack, and I want you to dial in some new color values. This time we're going to go for a very dark red. So change the Hue value to 0 degrees. We'll take the Saturation value up to 50%, and then dial in a Brightness value of just 10%. Next, press the Alt key, or the Option key on the Mac, click the Black/White icon down here at the bottom of the Layers panel, and choose the Solid Color command. I'm just going to call this layer shading, and click OK.
Photoshop will automatically transfer the foreground color settings into the Color Picker dialog box. Now go ahead and click OK. The result is pretty darn gruesome, which is why we need to make some blending modifications. I'd like you to change the Blend mode from Normal to Overlay in order to create this creepy effect right here. And then press the Escape key here on the PC, so the Blend mode option is no longer active. My Rectangular Marquee tool is selected, so I'll press the 8 key in order to reduce the Opacity value to 80%. All right! Now, I don't want to darken anything outside of the guy's face.
So I'm once again going to clip this layer by pressing the Alt key, or the Option key on the Mac, and clicking that horizontal line between the shading layer and the ghoul layer, both of which have truncated names in my case. All right! Now at this point, I was looking at the image and thinking that it would be nice to go ahead and integrate some of this red coloring into the shadow detail inside the image. So I need to select that shadow detail using the Color Range command. Make sure the layer mask is not active here inside the Layers panel. If it ends up being active, like so, then go ahead and click on the Color Swatch thumbnail there on the left in order to make it active, and deselect that layer mask.
Next, I want you to press the D key in order to establish the default colors, so that black is the foreground color and white is the background color. That way the Color Range command will automatically use black as the key color. Then go up to the Select menu, and choose Color Range. I want you to take the Fuzziness value down to 100, and that's all you have to do. You don't have to click anywhere inside the image, because you're already selecting the shadow details. Click OK in order to generate a selection outline. Now at this point, I do want you to go ahead and click on the layer mask thumbnail in order to make it active.
Let's press Control+H, or Command+H on the Mac, to hide the selection outlines. And, assuming your foreground color is white, as it is by default, press Alt+Backspace, or Option+Delete, in order to fill the mask with White, which is going to darken up that shadow detail. Now, it goes a little bit too far, in my opinion. So I want you to go up to the Edit menu and choose Fade Fill, or you can press Control+Shift+F, or Command+Shift+F on the Mac. Make sure you do that as your very next step, because if you do anything else in the meantime, that command will disappear.
Now, take the Opacity value down to 50%, and then click OK in order to create a 50-50 mix of that white fill, with the original luminance levels inside the mask. I wanted to bring out some of the brighter details in the underlying layers. Go ahead and press the Alt key, or the Option key on the Mac, and double-click on that Color Swatch thumbnail there inside the Layers panel. Notice that your Blend mode is set to Overlay; your Opacity is set to 80%. I want you to press the Alt key, or the Option key on the Mac, and drag the left half of this white slider triangle until the value before the slash reads 200.
So what we're saying here is, anything with a Luminance Level of 200, all the way down to 0 for black, will be covered up by these dark details on the shading layer. And anything on the underlying layers, by the way, with a Luminance Level of 200 up to 255 will slowly make its way to the surface, and become opaque. All right! I'm going to go ahead and click OK in order to accept that modification. That is one exhausted looking ghoul. However, what I'm ultimately looking for is some blood coming out of his mouth, and I'm going to show you how to create that blood beginning in the next exercise.
- Setting up a workspace
- Working with the seven key selection tools
- Using the Color Range command
- Automating masking
- Matching a scene with Smart Filters
- Choosing the ideal base channel
- Converting a channel to a mask
- Painting with the Overlay and Soft Light modes
- Using History to regain a lost mask
- Working with the Calculations command
- Extracting a mask from a Smart Object
- Masking and compositing light
- Masking with black and white
- Working with path outlines
- Combining pixel and vector masks
- Creating and feathering a vector mask


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Important Global Message
The Miami-Dade County Emergency Operations Center has been activated and is closely monitoring Erika. For any updates about County facilities and services, please visit: http://www.miamidade.gov/emergency
Small Business Development Resources
The U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) has created a series of online resources available for entrepreneurs. The Small Business Resource Guide includes pages of ideas, references and suggestions covering issues related to starting a business and provides a listing of financing options available through SBA.
The local office of the Small Business Administration (SBA), SCORE and Minority Business Development Agency Business Center, can answer some basic questions about starting your business. We encourage you to start your research there.
- U.S. Small Business Administration: Steps to Starting a Business
- Florida Small Business Development Center
Local Business Assistance Offices
SBA South Florida District Office
100 S Biscayne Boulevard, 7th Floor
Miami, Florida 33131
Phone: 305-536-5521
Florida Atlantic University - SBDC
8500 SW 8th Street, Suite 224
Miami, Florida 33144
Phone: 786-388-9040
Dade SCORE
100 S Biscayne Boulevard, 7th Floor
Miami, Florida 33131-2011
Phone: 786-425-9119
Minority Business Development Agency Business Center - Miami
9499 NE 2nd Ave, Suite 204
Miami, Florida 33138
Phone: 305-751-2907
Marketing your BusinessBack to Top
Before you embark on your new business venture, it's a good idea to determine whether you have the right personality to start a business. To assist you with this, we have provided some links to help you decide whether entrepreneurship makes sense for you.
- U.S. Small Business Administration Self-Assessment
- Minority Business Development Agency Self-Assessment
Write a Business Plan
A business plan articulates what a business is, where it is going, and how an entrepreneur wants to take it there. A business plan will likely include a summary, a company description, a marketing plan, an operations plan, and management and organization information. A business plan is critical - without a business plan, a business may fail. Most banks require a business plan prior to lending.Back to Top Page Last Edited: Fri Jul 29, 2016 8:26:08 AM
You are now leaving the official website of Miami-Dade County government. Please be aware that when you exit this site, you are no longer protected by our privacy or security policies. Miami-Dade County is not responsible for the content provided on linked sites. The provision of links to these external sites does not constitute an endorsement.
Please click 'OK' to be sent to the new site, or Click 'Cancel' to go back.


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Take a Seat: Stools and Chairs in the Kitchen
Evan's Old-Timey Apartment & Studio Space - A companionable chair, tucked in the corner. • 2 Christen Carter's Bright and Serene Chicago Kitchen - A clever way to squeeze in a bar (and stools). • 3 Swedish Kitchen Tour: Chez Larsson - Stools tucked under a functional countertop. • 4 Kitchen Tour: Michelle Cooks with Art - A slim modern stool for a small city kitchen. • 5 Kitchen Spotlight: Giulia's Light and Airy - A seat — and a stepstool too! TOP ROW • 6 Kitchen Spotlight: Lisa's Bright, Rich Rental - Two stools make a countertop into a nice breakfast nook. • 7 Kitchen Spotlight: Stephanie & Bob's Primary Colors - What wonderful and colorful stools! • 8 Kitchen Spotlight: Megan and Sarah's Orange Nook - Taking seating in the kitchen to a new level — here's a reading nook! • 9 AB Chao's Gorgeous (Yet Restrained) Kitchen Reno - One petite stool. • 10 Chris & Hannah's Spectacular Reclaimed Loft - We love that old-fashioned looking stool. Do you have anywhere to sit in your kitchen? Related: Lamps and Wing Chairs: Living Room Details in the Kitchen (Images: See linked posts for full image credits)


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G2D Games
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Cool Fruit Ice Cream
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It's so hot in summer. Just look at these fruit, cool, isn't it? There're many fruits in the... (More) refrigerator. Do-it-yourself a fruit ice cream as soon as possible. Have fun.
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