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AN: Thank you so much to everyone who reviews and follows this story. I wish I could review reply to all of you, especially some of you guest who leave some pretty stellar reviews.
Also thank you to everyone who is sticking by this story and trusting my plot development. Your support and kind words seriously make all of this worth it.
If you haven't checked it out already, I wrote a one-shot called Colors of the Week that you can find on my profile. Just something quick I whipped up during the week.
Chapter 19
The following Sunday, Sheldon arrived in the laundry room at exactly 8:15.
"Why are you here?" Penny asked with a sharp voice.
Sheldon licked his lips as he balanced the laundry basket on his hip.
"Since I missed laundry night last week and was forced to wash my clothes on Sunday, my whole rotation is thrown off," he rationalized, a lie he had been spinning to himself the entire week.
Penny frowned and went back to throwing her wet clothes into the dryer. She could feel his eyes glued to her back. Goosebumps rolled up her spine, tickling the bottom of her neck as she tried to hurry.
Sheldon set his laundry basket down on the center washer, watching Penny closely as she leaned forward and transferred her clothes. He hadn't seen her all week. Much to his chagrin, she skipped her Tuesday shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Upon discovery, Sheldon concluded that Penny must be avoiding him which left a sour taste in his mouth. Every time he left or entered his apartment, he looked around hoping to see her, but he was met with no such luck. It was a stroke of probabilistic genius and coincidental bargaining that Sheldon stumbled upon her again this Sunday, the same night he saw her just a week before.
Sheldon noted her beauty in that moment. She wore her thin yellow t-shirt and floral cotton stretch pants with a pair of white flip flops. Her hair was curled in a light wave that reminded Sheldon of all the times he had touched her soft locks. Her skin looked soft and warm and his fingertips itched to reach out and stroke her arm as she tucked herself beneath his chin.
His mesmerized studying was interrupted by Penny spinning around and facing him. She planted a hand on her hip and a frown settled in her eyes.
"So are you going to be here at this time every week?" She asked, pursing her lips in defense. She wasn't sure whether the humming inside her was due to anticipation or dread.
Sheldon nodded, "Will you be skipping your Tuesday shift every week?"
Penny down casted her eyes and turned to slide her quarter in their slots, "Yes."
"Bernadette isn't as good a waitress as you," Sheldon blurted out, remembering the pint-size waitress that substituted in Penny's place (who oddly seemed to not mind Wolowitz's aggressive advances).
Penny shrugged as she pushed her change in to start the machine, "That's not my problem anymore."
Abandoning his basket, Sheldon stepped closer to her, his heart beating to a funny, frantic dance.
"I'm confused as to why we can't still be friends," Sheldon's fingers clenched and unclenched as he held them awkwardly by his sides.
Penny folded her arms over her chest turning her fiery eyes on him as she responded.
"Because you dumped me! And it hurts to even be near you much less pretend to be okay with everything that has happened between us!" Penny didn't mean to shout but her voice wavered in its intensity.
Sheldon blinked several times as he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I was only trying –"
"Save it, Sheldon," Penny waved her hand, interrupting him. "I've heard it."
"I want to repair this," Sheldon blurted out, preventing her from leaving. "All the social relationships in my life were supposed to return back to normal, but they haven't."
Penny stared up at him and a small piece of her was able to see past her pain for a moment and observe the insecure twitch in Sheldon's cheek as he wrung his hands together nervously. Something inside of her pinched her senses awake, telling her that this was the source of his motivation behind his actions. But her stubborn, defensive side reminded her of the hurt and isolation she had felt all week and she pulled her anger over herself like a protective cloak.
"You have a lot to say to me before anything can be repaired."
"Tell me what it is I need to say," he bore his blue eyes deeply into hers. "I can't formulate any hypotheses about what I need to do to fix this if you don't tell me."
It was so tempting to just say everything she wanted and felt for him. She could so easily shout, yell, and cry her needs. But Penny had promised herself that she deserved better this time around. She deserved someone wanting to tell her these things not just so she'll always be around for them.
"I told you," Penny shook her head, holding his stare. "You're going to have to figure it out yourself. It can't just be words you repeat back to me because you know that's what I want to hear."
She left Sheldon standing in the laundry room staring after her as she walked away. Every step she took up the stairs was heavier than the last. Her body was screaming at her to rush down the stairs and return to him, but her pride knew better.
Sheldon stood in the center of the room for a few long moments, his mind racing with Penny's words. She kept leaving cryptic puzzle pieces that had no logical starting place. Penny used to only speak bluntly to him. It was a trait he admired and took for granted as their friendship blossomed into something more. Her words repeated over and over in his mind, "it hurts to be near you." To Penny, he lost the privilege of her blunt forwardness the second he ended their relationship agreement.
As Sheldon finished his laundry, he wracked his brain, trying to decipher what it was that Penny needed to hear from him.
He understood that women liked to focus on how facts and events made them feel, rather than the actual statement or incident itself. He had tried explaining to Penny exactly why he needed to end things with her from a rational basis, but that seemed to upset her more than it helped. Sheldon had a suspicion that what she wanted from him was a declaration of his feelings for her. Rationality and facts Sheldon could easily maneuver, but feelings – that always left him stupefied and ignorant.
Sheldon was not one to admit ignorance on most things, but even he couldn't deny that many moments in his life he was left lost and scared when it came to other people's emotions. His father's rage frequently was directed either towards himself or his mother. Sheldon tried coding a particular pattern to predict his father's vitriol and violent outbursts, but in his short eleven years living with him, he couldn't successfully avoid his walloping smacks or whiskey breath screaming in his face. His mother's emotions could be just as erratic as his father's. Often he would find her crying, and at a very young age, he could remember her accepting his hugs - a mechanism he determined would console her since it was always something she did that brought him comfort when he cried. But at a certain point, she began pushing away his attempts to comfort her. It left Sheldon feeling helpless from his own emotional security and others. Numbers and formulas had constants and malleable variables all under his own control. People and feelings seemed to operate on a different plane that he long ago conceded he didn't have the capacity to grasp nor deserved his efforts or concentration.
Folding his laundry, he gazed at Penny's dryer which had ended its cycle an hour ago. He hoped she would come down while he still occupied the space and retrieve her clothes. One thing that proved constant in Penny's behavior was her insistence on avoiding him .All week he had moved through his schedule with Leonard, Howard, and Raj like old times, but he could sense a drastic shift in his experience. He had come to realize just how ingrained Penny's presence became in his schedule and without her sunny smile and sarcastic comments that 23/30 times had to be explained to him, his day to day actions colored gray.
Finishing his folding, he looked to Penny's dryer again. Sighing, he walked over and removed the basket from the lid.
Sheldon returned to his apartment finding Raj sitting in the center of the couch with his lap top open and Missy in the leather chair chewing her nails as she stared at him.
"I've told you, I'm a grown man and I will make decisions for myself now. Missy and I are staying married and that's final," Raj said, the finality of his tone matching his words.
Raj's mother's voice sighed from the computer, "If you want to marry an American and turn your back on your family, then that's fine. But you will not take a wedding away from me."
Raj twisted his brows together, "What do you mean? Missy and I already had a wedding."
"She means a real wedding. Not some drunken night in Vegas that you won't be able to tell your grandchildren about," his father corrected.
Raj frowned shamefully..
"So it's settled. In one month, you and your new wife will come to India and we'll have a traditional wedding," his mother annnounced with satisfaction.
Missy's eyes widened and she waved her hands to get Raj's attention, shaking her head furiously back and forth.
Eyeing Missy, Raj tried to interpret her gesture.
"I think that Missy doesn't want that?" he said it as if it were a question.
Missy dropped her head into her hands. Rolling his eyes at the pair, Sheldon left the room to put his clothes away. He still didn't understand why those two were even entertaining the idea of keeping their marriage.
"What do you mean she doesn't want that? Is she there right now? Let me speak to her!" Raj's mother demanded.
Missy turned green as she stared at Raj's face. He shrugged his shoulders, not knowing exactly what it was Missy wanted from him. Her nostrils flared as she shifted over to sit next to Raj. She instantly pushed the corners of her mouth into a fake smile, mentally calculating how she would kill Raj once this Skype session ended.
Waving, Missy greeted his parents, "Hello."
Raj's father's eyes widened as he examined the tall, brunette beauty sitting beside his son. "This is your wife?"
"Mommy, Daddy – this is Missy. Missy, these are my parents," Raj exchanged greetings.
"I'm impressed, son," his dad grinned widely. His mother turned her angry eyes to him which he coward beneath. Missy wished there was a way she could teleport out of the state.
"It's very nice to finally meet you," she said, turning up her southern charm.
Unimpressed, Raj's mother pressed forward, "So you don't want to marry in India, furthering stomping on our family and traditions?"
Shaking her head, Missy let out a laugh, "Oh no ma'am, I swear it's not that. It's just…" she tried to think quickly to save herself. "If we're going to have a wedding, my own family would want to be there for it. They're none too happy about us eloping either."
"So we'll have the wedding in America then," his mother insisted.
Missy exchanged a glance with Raj, hoping he'd save her. Raj remained quiet, not wanting to get between the two women that scared him most.
"Well," Missy turned back to the screen. "I guess maybe that could work but…"
"Excellent! I'll start looking up venues right now. We'll shoot for two weeks but if we have to wait three that will be fine."
It was Missy's turn to bug her eyes out, "Two weeks?! Um, excuse me, ma'am, but don't you think that is a little quick to be planning a wedding?"
Raj's mother snorted, "Please, not one of your simple American weddings. And besides, I want to make sure to see my son marry before I die and the sooner we get out there before you two call this off, the better."
Around eleven, Penny determined it was safe to retrieve her laundry from the dryer without running into Sheldon again. Opening her front door, she almost tripped over her basket sitting at her feet. She looked down and saw that her clothes had been neatly folded and stacked based on size and category. Penny turned her eyes to 4A, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. Picking up the basket, she brought the clothes inside, trying to push away her instinct to read into the gesture.
That night, Sheldon ended up alone with Leonard in the living room for the first time. Ever since his return from Vegas, though Leonard was cordial with him, he did not go out of his way to spend time with Sheldon outside of when Raj and Howard were around. But strangely enough, Leonard didn't hide in his room once Raj and his sister took their leave. They hadn't talked about their fight or his previous relationship with Penny.
Leonard felt ashamed hiding from Sheldon all this time. Though he still felt angry and embarrassed, he knew that his roommate made a big sacrifice and extended him a gesture he never expected or could ever remember receiving from someone. But every time he looked at Sheldon, he remembered his own failures and a hot, suffocating jealousy surged through him. In order to stop himself from saying anything stupid or hurtful, he usually left to wallow in his room. He still couldn't wrap his head around the idea of Sheldon and Penny. Penny wasn't supposed to like guys like them. He had fantasized and dreamed a lot about her seeing past stereotypes and social boundaries, recognizing the nice guy that he knew himself to be. Even if it took a few years, Leonard could imagine himself waiting on the sidelines for her to come around. He never expected her to go for a guy that even nerds found strange and were embarrassed to associate themselves with him. Not that Sheldon embarrassed Leonard… well… not much anyways. He did grow to appreciate and enjoy Sheldon's presence and friendship that he provided, however bizarre and lopsided it was. It's just that Sheldon was the last person he ever expected would be able to snag Penny. Not just from Penny's end but Sheldon's as well. As far as he had reasoned, Sheldon didn't have a deal. He never expressed any interested in women and whenever any of them did try and pursue relations with the opposite sex, Sheldon would chastise them for giving into their animal hindbrain.
Leonard might have verbally forgiven Sheldon, but his gut told him that he still had some issues he had to work through. And unlike what his upbringing taught him, instead of confronting it head on, he had been avoiding his friend and roommate since the discovery. He knew that if the giant elephant in the room was addressed, they'd both end up saying things that could permanently hurt their friendship forever. Leonard had never had luck with women, and addressing what had happened between Sheldon and Penny would force Leonard to look inwards and ask whether all these years of thinking there was just something wrong with guys like him was actually not the issue at all but rather only something wrong with him.
After a half hour of watching a documentary on super novas on the Science channel, with a running Sheldon commentary about the vague explanations and outdated inaccuracies of the program, Leonard excused himself to his bedroom.
Sheldon might still be squandering over what to do about turning back the clock on his relationship with Penny, but he understood enough to keep the issue with Leonard swept under the rug. He had done the only thing that demonstrated his loyalties to friendship, and it was now on Leonard to either truly accept his apology and move on or forever leave this wedge between them. Sheldon hoped it wasn't the latter because the possibility that he permanently damaged things with Penny and not be able to salvage his relationship with his best friend in the process casted a black worry over him.
As Sheldon moved about the rest of the evening, in the back of his mind he had been trying to figure out his situation with her. He wasn't sure what it was he exactly wanted from it, but he knew that where they stood now left him feeling queasy and on edge. Outside of his own reactions, what concerned him the most was Penny's obvious hurt and anguish due to his actions. If anything, he needed to find a way to right this again, if only for her sake.
The only conclusion that Sheldon kept returning to, no matter how uncomfortable it left him and the infinite number of alternative solutions he considered, was to explain to Penny his own feelings on their break up and the days following. While Sheldon Cooper operated under the guise that yes, he indeed had feelings though he strived to ignore them and live his life based on logic and reason, he still had a sensory and perceptive experience colored and affected by his emotional state. He denied it often both to others and himself, but due to recent events, Sheldon had been faced with a highly active limbic system that caused his mood to fluctuate severely. He wasn't sure how to convey to Penny his feelings when he didn't even fully understand them himself.
Finding a composition notebook in his bedroom, Sheldon relaxed over his covers, resting his head on the still unwashed pillowcase that Penny slept on a week before and started writing.
On Tuesday, Penny ignored the series of knocks at her front door.
After a few minutes, her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table.
Missy: I know you're in there and I'm not leaving until you open the door.
Sighing, Penny sagged her shoulders in defeat as she answered the door.
Leaning against the door frame, Missy smiled as Penny cracked the door to look out at her. Penny found comfort in Missy's blue eyes, so she opened the door wider to signal that she could enter.
"You doing okay, hun?" Missy asked as she set her purse down on Penny's side table. She just got off work at the University and had the boys drop her off at the apartment before they headed to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Already hearing Sheldon complain about the possibility of not having Penny waitress for them, Missy thought that she could finally corner Penny.
Penny shook her head, curling up on the couch and covering herself in her blanket.
"I'm sorry my brother is a bull-headed moron," Missy shook her head as she sat next to her on the couch.
"It's okay," Penny sighed. "I already knew he was a bull-headed moron before I got into this."
Missy gave Penny a once over before asking, "How have you been handling this?"
Penny shrugged her shoulders, "Fine, I guess."
It scared Penny just how much Missy resembled Sheldon when she gave her all-knowing, you-can't-fool-me expression
"I've been a mess, okay," Penny surrendered.
"That's understandable, sugar," Missy leaned forward and patted Penny's knee. "But you don't gotta shut me out, okay? I've been worried sick."
Penny's lips pouted out as she tried to hold back her tears. It seemed like the only thing she was good at these days was crying. "I thought that maybe you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore now that Sheldon and me aren't together."
Missy scoffed, "Hell no! I am so upset with Shelly for doing this to you! He's gotten more than an earful from me about it all."
A watery smiled pulled up Penny's features, "Really?"
"Yep. It's not right what he did. I know that he meant well and he was trying to fix that stupid spat between him and Leonard, but he shouldn't have just made that decision for the both of you," Missy explained.
"Thank you!" Penny shouted, throwing an arm out at Missy. "That's exactly what I've been thinking this whole time! He could have at least consulted me on this before just breaking it off." Sinking back into her cushions she added, "He probably just doesn't care what I think."
"Now that isn't true," Missy folded her legs up on the couch, preparing for a long discussion. "I can't explain to you completely what's going on in my brother's head, but I can tell when he's upset, and I can see that he is missing you."
Penny's eyes danced as she looked in wonder at Missy, "Really?"
Missy nodded, "He's moping around the apartment. He gets distracted and can't keep up with conversations half the time. And anytime that damn front door opens, he looks up all excited as if he's just waiting for it to be you to walk through."
Penny shook her head in disbelief, "I - I just can't imagine that. He was so cold and uncaring when he broke up with me. And when I've seen him… I don't know. I want to think he is hurting too, but I can't afford to think that way."
"Shelly doesn't know how to talk to people or express his feelings. He's also very proud and if he is regretting his decision like I think he is, I'm not sure how long it'll take him to come around and admit that he made a mistake."
Penny's eyes began to water and she threw herself forward, burying her face into Missy's shoulder. Her sobs shook her body as she clung to Missy's sweater.
"I just love him so much," she moaned as Missy patted her back. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to be the vulnerable one."
"I know, I know."
Penny sat up wiping her nose, "And I can't even hope for anything until I hear him tell me something real. Like, I'm not saying I don't believe you, but none of that matters unless he actually makes the effort to fix this. I can't go to him and try to make everything okay after he did that to me."
"And I don't think you should," Missy replied. "Shelly's gotta learn that people aren't disposable." An old anger billowed in her stomach as the words left her tongue.
Penny shook her head, "I just don't understand why I had to be the one thrown aside! I mean, I know he and Leonard have been friends forever, but why is it that all the burden falls on me when I did nothing wrong? I never owed Leonard anything. I wasn't the one who had any ties. Yet I'm the one suffering."
Missy reached over and grabbed a Kleenex box for Penny. "Thank you," Penny said as she pulled a sheet to wipe her eyes.
"I just had these hopes and ideas. I thought that maybe if I waited long enough, he would realize his feelings for me or want something more than what we were," her throat closed up again. "I'm just so stupid."
"You're not stupid," Missy fiercely said. "Leonard is stupid for taking his anger too far and Sheldon is stupid for getting into this with you behind his friends' back and then not standing by you when it blew up in his face."
"Look," Missy continued. "I haven't known Sheldon since we were kids, but I think that what I do know makes me a pretty good judge of him. And he has never acted like this with anyone before. Aside from sex since we both know he never has tried it until you. Even our mother and Meemaw, who Sheldon adores more than anyone in this world, he never made room for them in that head of his like he did for you. Despite what he says, Sheldon feels a lot. Maybe even more than us and that's why he is so confused all the time about what it all means. And even though he messed up and he still hasn't come to you yet, I know that you're special to him. You might be the only chance he has at having anything like that in his life. And I'm gonna make sure he sees that."
Penny launched forward and wrapped her arms around Missy's neck, "Thank you."
After pulling away, Penny wiped her eyes again. "You know, I've had a lot of friends in my life, but I don't think I've ever had one be this nice. I never really liked to show my friends when I was upset."
Missy nodded her head in understanding, "Well, you were so nice to me when I got here and made me feel welcome. Even though I didn't know anybody."
"I understand what it's like to be a stranger somewhere."
After a few quiet moments, Penny turned her attention to the tall brunette.
"So what's been going on with you recently? I know we haven't talked in a while."
"Oh," Missy cheeks blushed crimson. She had completely forgotten to tell Penny about her and Raj. "Well, I got married."
Penny snorted, "No you didn't."
Missy bit her lip and looked up at her through her lashes.
Penny gasped, "Shut up! Who? When?"
"Raj and when we went to Vegas."
Penny's jaw dropped, "Holy crap on a cracker! Were you drunk?"
"Very," Missy rolled her eyes. "But we decided that we're going to give it a try. The wedding – well, our "real" wedding as our moms are putting it – is in two weeks."
Her mouth still open, Penny's eyes opened wide, "Two weeks?"
"I know. You don't gotta to tell me. I think it's craziness but his mom is hell-bent on seeing us get married and she seems to think there is a quick expiration date on all this. And as soon as she got a hold of my mom, they've been conspiring together. Well, when they aren't fighting over what kind of religious ceremony it's gonna be."
Penny shook her head, "I just…. This is so bizarre. You and Raj. Do you even like him?"
Missy smiled shyly as she looked down at her nails, "Yeah, he's definitely a sweet heart. I had a bit of a thing for him before, but I didn't really know him. Still don't. I moved into his place and gave up my apartment search. We thought since we're giving this a try, might as well go all the way with it. He still won't share a bed with me though. He gets too nervous and moves to the couch. It's strange. We're husband and wife but it's like he's courting me. We've just been trying to get to know each other. Sitting around and talking about our lives."
For the first time in a week and a half, Penny felt a small glow in her heart, "That's really cute, Missy. I'm happy for you."
"Would you be in my wedding," Missy suddenly blurted out just as the idea dawned on her.
"Yeah, I want you to be my maid of honor."
"Oh, Missy, I don't know," Penny quickly backtracked, panicked over the idea. "Shouldn't you ask someone in your family or a really close friend?"
Missy shook her head, "I don't really have anyone else to ask. It's just gonna me my mother and Meemaw coming up from Texas. Please, Penny, I know this is a lot to ask."
Penny considered the idea. Her first instinct was to flee. This would be a lot of time she had to spend around Sheldon when she could barely hold herself together as it is. On the other hand, Missy had been a really good friend to her – much more than she could say of anyone else that she had met since coming to California. She didn't want to force her to ask someone randomly.
"I really want to do this for you, but I'm worried," Penny admitted.
"About being around Shelly?" Missy asked.
Penny nodded.
"If you don't want to talk to him, you don't have to. I'll make sure he knows that. But we'll be so busy with doing all that bridal stuff that I don't think you'll even be around him much."
Penny could already feel herself giving in but she considered it for a few moments.
"And your family? Do they know about us?"
"Not unless Sheldon told anyone, which I highly doubt. Mom has been so concerned with me leaving and now this wedding. Which she's none too happy about but I think she's giving in cause she always hated me "living in sin" with my previous boyfriends."
Penny nodded her head, "Okay, I'll do it. I'll be your maid of honor."
Missy smiled widely and pulled Penny into another hug, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
Penny thumbed through a bridal magazine while she sat on top of the washer, looking at the choices in maid of honor dresses that Missy had marked. They had shopped for Missy's dress earlier that week. Missy wanted to get it out of the way before her mother arrived so that she didn't end up in something poofy with a long train. Penny found that shopping with Missy and getting lost in this wedding planning really took her mind off of spending all her time being sad in her apartment. For the most part, Missy was an efficient and carefree bride, leaving most of the tasks like logistics, color schemes, seating arrangements, and catering to her and Raj's parents – mostly because Raj's mother had demanded control over the situation since she and Raj's father were paying for the wedding. After many executive decisions by both Raj and Missy that forbid more traditional Indian ceremonies as well as Mary's insistence that they get married in a Baptist church that Raj could be baptized in – they decided on a stylistic American/Indian blend that was more low key and manageable for the time-frame they were given.
Penny couldn't really say why she decided to do her laundry on a Sunday evening again. Sheldon explicitly told her that this was his new routine. She had purposely made it so that she avoided him at all other costs, but as it approached eight, Penny grew antsier. Though the thought of seeing him terrified her, a large, consuming force wanted to use this safe space to put herself in his way just to see what he would do. She already suspected that changing laundry night last weekend was an excuse by him. She knew that he could easily just go back to Saturday night. He'd have one less day of laundry to do but soon he'd be right on track again. That fact had been nagging her all week, and she had set it up in her mind that if he showed up tonight, maybe there would be a possibility of them having another chance.
As it got closer to 8:15, Penny turned the pages more frantically, to nervous to pay attention to the pictures anymore. Her stomach hurt and she felt like at any second her nerves would become too much and she'd bolt from the room. As her hair prickled on the back of her neck, she saw out of the corner of her eye Sheldon appearing with his laundry basket.
"Hello, Penny," Sheldon greeted her, setting his basket down on the middle washer adjacent to her. She didn't jump away, intending to play nonchalance and remain where she sat. She nodded her reply, her skin was set ablaze at his closeness.
Sheldon set aside his composition notebook as he began his washing routine. He gave himself a mental pep talk, practicing once more how he'd begin this proposition to Penny. He had been worried that after last week, she wouldn't be here again, but her presence in the laundry room indicated that he had an open invitation to try out this next experiment. Starting the washer and letting his eyes trail down Penny's body as she continued to stare at the magazine in her hands, he picked up the notebook and repositioned himself in front of her.
Penny blinked her eyes up at the sound of Sheldon clearing his throat. She caught sight of him hugging a black and white notebook to his chest, standing expectantly in front of her.
Once Sheldon saw that he had her attention he began.
"Last Sunday, you told me that I needed to say "things" to make up for the way that I have wronged you. You were very cryptic in what these "things" were that you needed to hear, but I've taken it upon myself to try and figure out this puzzle you've presented me. I call this Experiment 1 to my Penny Apology Study."
Penny set aside her magazine, holding her breath as she looked at him more openly.
"For the past week, I've been writing down my observations of the feelings I've been having since our departure. I'm not positive that this is exactly what you meant, but this is the first test of my hypothesis."
Sheldon opened his notebook and began reading.
"Sunday 11:10 pm: Penny told me today that I needed to tell her things before I can fix what I've done to her. Every time I see her, her facial expressions resemble hose that I've come to associate with sadness and anger. I don't like making Penny sad. When Penny smiles, I feel a calm peace knowing that she's happy."
"Tuesday 7:45 pm: Penny wasn't at the Cheesecake Factory and we once again had to be served by Bernadette. She's a fine waitress by most standards, but she isn't Penny. Penny would talk with us and touch my shoulder when taking our order. I hate being touched, but when it's Penny's hand, I don't think about the germs. It feels right when Penny touches me even though I don't have a scientific explanation of why that is."
"Wednesday 8:00 am: Every time I wake up, I still smell Penny's hair on my pillow. The only way I can describe the feeling in my chest is that there is a hole that grows larger every day. Were I a hypochondriac, I'd get a CAT scan to see what's wrong. But I know this isn't an issue with physiology. It's in the mornings that I miss Penny the most. I don't usually remember my dreams, and my nights since I terminated the relationship agreement between us have been long and dreamless. My only explanation for the intense questioning and longing I experience in the mornings is that I must have dreamt of Penny during my REM cycles."
"Friday 3:45 pm: Today at lunch was the first time anyone broke the unspoken silent ceasefire about my relationship with Penny. Wolowitz made a joke questioning whether we ever engaged in carnal relations at all because of my presumed status as an asexual and lack of functioning genitals. I felt a violent anger come over me that I don't usually experience from Wolowitz's berating jokes. He does only have a Master's degree after all, so what merit does his opinion hold? It occurred to me now that what made this moment different than other incidences that people have teased my lack of experience with women is that their jokes involved Penny. I don't like the idea of people thinking we were nothing. I'm not sure what we were or what all of this means, but we weren't something that should be a joke passed around a lunch table by fools dictated by jealousy."
When Sheldon finally stopped reading, he looked up at Penny. Her green eyes watered as she stared back at him, her hands firmly clenched to the edge of the washer on either side of her thighs. Sheldon panicked, worried that her tears meant he had only made things worse.
"I've upset you," he stated, his eyes scrunching in concern.
Penny shook her head and let out a tense, nervous laugh as tears streamed down her face, "No, you didn't upset me."
"But you're crying again," Sheldon pointed out. "I've written extensively about your crying also in my observations."
"You have?" Penny asked.
Sheldon opened his notebook again.
"Penny cried when I told her that we should end our friends-with-benefits arrangement so that I could apologize to Leonard. She also cried when I saw her in the laundry room on Sunday. Her quick need to escape my presence reminded me of my torment and isolation in childhood when people were afraid of my intelligence. I know though that Penny doesn't think of me in this manner so her need to flee must be indicative of just how badly I have wronged her. I don't like it when Penny cries. It turns my stomach and the dread I feel paralyzes me. I have no idea what to do to make her stop."
Penny wiped her eyes, her tears falling faster.
"These aren't exactly sad tears, Sheldon," she clarified.
"Then what are they?"
"Some happy and some sad. Thank you for sharing that with me."
Sheldon smiled at her, "So then I can write that this experiment was a success?"
They held eye contact for several moments. Penny had the strongest urge to kiss him and forget about her pain and their break up. After hearing his journal entries, Missy's words seemed truer to her now. She could tell this was his way of opening himself up to her, but Penny knew that she couldn't settle for just this. He had to realize what all of these feelings meant. He had to say the words to her and tell her that he wanted to be with her before she could let him inside again.
"It's a good start."
AN2: Let me know what you thought of this chapter by leaving your thoughts in the box below!


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Pleated midi skirt in cherry print
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subset: commoncrawl


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The Voice's Jordan Smith to Perform with David Foster at People's Choice Awards
Jordan Smith will be performing at the People's Choice Awards!
The award show's executive producer Mark Burnett told PEOPLE exclusively that The Voice season 9 winner is set to take the stage with 16-time Grammy winning record producer/musician David Foster.
"Just confirmed Jordan Smith performing, accompanied by David Foster on piano," said Burnett, who also is executive producer of The Voice. "They're in the studio now working on his album together."
Smith, coached by Adam Levine, won millions of fans over with his soulful voice, even topping Adele on the charts with his rendition of Queen's "Somebody to Love."
"Since the finale, Jordan has been mentioned so many times. America loves him," Burnett, 55, praised the newly engaged singer. "America is going to get to see Jordan Smith again, his first time back on network television since The Voice finale."
And the 22-year-old star has been keeping busy recording new music. The day of the PCAs, Smith and Foster will be "literally going to come in from the recording studio on the stage before they get back to work," Burnett explained.
As for Smith's recent engagement to longtime girlfriend Kristen Denny, the award-winning TV producer couldn't be more happy for the up-and-comer.
"He's just thrilled to have gone home as the winner and gotten engaged to his sweetheart," Burnett said. "He's been really, really honored in his hometown. I'm thrilled!"
Jane Lynch will host the People's Choice Awards, presented at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles on Jan. 6 and broadcast on CBS. It was just announced that Ellen DeGeneres will receive the show's Favorite Humanitarian honor.
Reporting by CHRISTINA DUGAN


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Since I posted last, year one plans for Drumbeat have gotten even more solid. We've updated the way we're describing Drumbeat and agreed on a set of initial goals. Also, a slate of 'bootstrap projects' is taking shape and early work on some of them has begun. Based on the updated year one plan I posted on the wiki last week, I've pulled out some highlights for people who are tracking Drumbeat but don't want all the details.
What is Drumbeat?
We continue to refine the language we're using to describe 'drumbeat in a nutshell'. This is the version from last week:
Mozilla Drumbeat is global community of people creating tools that enable internet users to understand, participate and take control of their online lives. Drumbeat provides an opportunity for these people to share project ideas — and finds contributors, funds and advice that help the most promising projects succeed. Mozilla also directly leads a number of Drumbeat projects of its own.
While this language feels pretty clear and solid, we'll likely iterate at least one more time.
What will you do in year one?
Short answer: pick a number of 'bootstrap projects' to get us rolling, and then use these to attract community members and more project ideas. More formally, we've agreed on three simple year one goals:
- Build and energize the Mozilla Drumbeat community.
- Find and set up projects that excite us. Mostly from people we don't know yet.
- Establish Drumbeat events as places where there the future of the open internet is being invented.
The idea is to build momentum quickly while at the same time testing our thinking about Drumbeat. You can see basic metrics associated with each goal on the planning wiki.
What projects and topics will you focus on?
The most critical goal for year one is 'find projects that excite us'. We'll bootstrap this process by starting work right away on a few projects suggested during the initial planning process — and that illustrate the Drumbeat concept. Examples:
- Simple privacy icon design challenge. Engaging design, law students and regular web users to accelerate the development of icons that make privacy policies easier to understand. confirmed
- P2P University and Open Web Tech: work with P2P university to establish courses where people teach each other open web tech as an alternative or supplement to mainstream tech certification. still exploring
- 'Visualizing the open internet' challenge. Engaging artists and web developers to create data visualizations that 'show what the internet looks like' using new open web technologies (e.g. processing.js). still exploring
- 'Fair Mobile' index, like the Economist's 'Big Mac Index' comparing purchasing power, but focused on comparing mobile markets for fairness and openness. still exploring
- Drumbeat Presentation Challenge. Give a 5 minute talk on one of two topics — Your Open Web Idea or the Ultimate Open Web Presentation — and then upload to the Drumbeat website. This is a project in its own right, and also way to get people and ideas into Drumbeat early on. confirmed
There is a full list of possible bootstrap projects on the wiki. More importantly, we're developing a process whereby anyone can propose and build a community around a project using the Drumbeat website. Over time, this will become central to how we find and support new Drumbeat ideas.
With all of this, we effectively kicked off Drumbeat 'year one' last week — with the idea that it runs until the end of 2010. We're actively working on at least two of the bootstrap projects and are vetting others. And website development work is well underway (will blog on this separately).
We definitely need alot more help as we move ahead with all this. If you want to get involved or just have feedback, please comment on this post, or join us in the Drumbeat discussion forum or on the weekly Drumbeat call.


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American psychiatry has been evolving over the past 20 years from a basically philosophical discipline with few ties to academic medicine into a scientifically based medical specialty. The field is complex and must cope with the basic issue of what constitutes a diagnosis as well as highly technical issues such as the localization of a specific neurochemical in a specific part of the brain. This volume lucidly highlights this complexity in relation to the psychoses, a concept cutting across many psychiatric conditions.
The book is divided into five sections, all of which concern efforts to establish the validity and reliability of the concept of psychosis. Data from such diverse disciplines as electrophysiology, psychopharmacology, neurochemistry, and genetics are presented alone and in combinations in the attempt to find the common elements, if any, linking the psychoses.
The 27 authors who contributed to this volume are aware of the need to delineate
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where the lobsters run like antelope
gonna go downeast fuh some chowdah
by Meghan Frederick November 14, 2006
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
The northern coastal region of Maine (Wasington and Hancock County). Called Downeast because in the days of sailing, the Prevailing Winds would blow the ships from Boston northeast, or Downeast. So if you in Downeast and you are going to Boston, you are going up to Boston.
Andrew, are you sailing Downeast to Bar Harbor?
by Maine Man April 12, 2005
washington county and hancock county in maine. lotsa good lobsters here.
by dave October 17, 2003


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on May 28, 2013 - 9:10 PM
Larger-than-usual crowds are expected at Buffalo Niagara International Airport during the next week as more than 700 veterans arrive to take part in the 27th National Veterans Golden Age Games in Buffalo.
The Transportation Security Administration advises travelers to arrive at the airport at least 90 minutes before their scheduled flights so they can pass through security checks in time to catch their planes. Veteran athletes are expected to begin arriving today.
The games begin Friday and continue through Wednesday.
The TSA says the airport is expected to be especially busy as veterans and their families head home Wednesday and June 6.
Golden Age Games expected to mean busy week for airport


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A couple of weeks ago, we finalized Norah's adoption in court. This makes her legally a Redfern. It was a beautiful day that we shared with family, dear friends, and Norah's biological family. They all joined us in the courtroom and then we shared a fancy lunch together at The Grand America and took photos…. [Read More]
36 Life Lessons I've Learned in my 36 Years
Today I turn 36. And I have to tell you, I have seriously loved getting older! Last night at Family Dinner, one of my brothers asked me what my goals were for this coming year of my life. I thought that was such an interesting question and I spent the remainder of the night thinking about… [Read More]
Photos and the Adoption Profile
This fall we had a Funbooth session with Lindsay Ross. These sessions are low-stress, all black and white (no matching clothes required–if you're into that), and super speedy. Translation: These sessions are perfect for families with small children. The photos were candid, real, and hilariously our family. I love them all. After she sent me the images, I… [Read More]
My kids are entitled to know their roots. | Mormon Channel Interview
Recently Josh and I were invited to the Mormon Channel for an interview with Jennifer Stagg. We didn't really know where the interview would take us and so we didn't prepare a ton other than bringing a "tech nerd heart for adoption" to the show and a decade of personal experience. We parked and held… [Read More]
Is someone missing from our family?
One evening this summer–June to be exact–I was sitting on the couch flipping through my Instagram feed. Scrolling through, a photo stopped me dead in my tracks. My friend Carina posted about her adorable daughter's reluctant entrance into her ballet class. I was overcome by the photo. My heart started racing and broke at the same time. This… [Read More]
New Mom and Blogging | The question I ask myself everyday.
Being a blogger, a work-at-home mom (I'm Editor-in-Chief of Adoption.com), a silversmith and owner at Charmed Collections (making personalized jewelry,) and a new mommy (not to mention those 3 mischievous little dudes) …everyday I'm hustlin'. And I don't mean "hustlin'" in the Rick Ross way. I mean, I am literally sweating and hustling and hurrying around my little… [Read More]
From love to love.
Just shy of three weeks ago, Josh and I were invited to be in the delivery room for the birth of our daughter. Today I felt this undeniable prompting to share the miracle of my experience. In fact, I was doing the dishes and the feeling came to my heart to "put the scrub brush down… [Read More]
I just met you and this is crazy.
Two and a half weeks ago, our lives changed forever when I answered my phone. My long-time friend Jessa called me via FaceTime. I answered and asked her how her recent retreat for birth mothers went. We chatted for a minute and then she introduced me to her friend Sage. They were sitting next to each… [Read More]
Be Courageous | National Adoption Month
In years past, I've issued a challenge to my readers for National Adoption Month. It usually involved an increase of adoption content on social media …you know, to increase awareness. But, this year I am issuing a different kind of challenge. And I am super excited about it. The challenge is this: BE COURAGEOUS. There is so much… [Read More]
Run Happy | This post is not about running.
I ran two half marathons within 7 days of each other this month. Kim and I trained and ran them both together. Well, we run together for the first few miles and then we usually run solo. In a time of my life where I am rarely alone–it's the running solo that I truly love. (Although,… [Read More]


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Let's meet this week's P1FCU "Prep Athlete of the Week" Lewiston High's Christine Sayler!
Lewiston High's Christine Sayler plays tennis...and that's it.
"I focus on a sport all year-round, and it gives me more time and dedication to it, rather than jumbling a bunch of sports around being mediocre," said Sayler.
There's a lot more strategy than people think!
"It's kind of like a chess game, you never know, and it's strategic," said Sayler. "It's not just trying to run it in the end zone; you have all these things that go into every single point."
She got into tennis like many of us got into our respective sports.
"My father played and just like all of us joked around as kids and then my dad just had me pick up a racquet," said Sayler.
And she's doing well in the classroom.
"Just A's and B's, just standard," said Sayler.
Her favorite class is history, for an impressive reason.
"Humans tend to make a lot of mistakes and history tends to show the lessons that we should be learning from," said Sayler. "And I think it's important that we don't make those mistakes again"
In addition to spending time with her family, she has another activity she loves.
"I volunteer at the hospital at the day care center....and I just love being around little children," said Sayler.
Christine has an interesting nickname that her grandfather gave her.
"Well, people call me cricket," said Sayler.
One of cricket's heroes is a local figure who is a hero to many people in the valley.
"Kai Fong...because he's a tennis player but not only that, he's just an awesome person and he never looks at your opponent, you look at yourself," said Sayler.
Congratulations to this week's P1FCU "Prep Athlete of the Week," Lewiston High Junior Christine Sayler!
"I think it's a blessing and an honor because, I don't know, you look at yourself and you're just like a regular high school student just like everybody else and to be acknowledged is huge," said Sayler.
We hope you enjoyed meeting Christine Sayler. Each week throughout the school year KLEW Sports and P1FCU team up to highlight a deserving athlete in the area. If you have someone you'd like to nominate, just go to klewtv.com, click on sports and then prep athlete. Every Wednesday those athletes are showcased right here on KLEW-TV for their outstanding accomplishments.


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From PAX's official schedule:
Friday, 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM, Unicorn Theatre
Memoirs of a Triple Agent
The game industry is like Starcraft: It has three sides (two of which hate each other) and you're likely to get destroyed when first you get near any of them. Developers, publishers, and the media continue to coexist in a tense symbiotic relationship, and in this panel, industry veteran Greg Kasavin will walk you through what it's like being on the inside of all three, and tips for how to deal with each. Kasavin's unique experience having worked as editor-in-chief of a major gaming publication, as a line producer on a noted development team, and on the publishing side of a company behind some of the year's biggest games has given him a broad perspective he hopes will usher in a new age of peace and prosperity in the industry. On second thought, he'd settle for you coming to this panel.
Moderated by: Greg Kasavin [Producer, 2K Games]
As a great admirer of Greg's, this is really exciting news. Any Giant Bomb fans going to PAX should attend. Greg is a very knowledgable man, and this should be a very interesting panel.


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Skip to comments.Sarah Palin Wants Levi Johnston To Disappear
Posted on 07/15/2010 9:54:16 AM PDT by My Favorite Headache
Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston shocked the world when they announced they were engaged again. The on-again, off-again couple seemed happy despite Sarah Palin's obvious disapproval of their reunion. It's no surprise considering her future son-in-law has betrayed and bad-mouthed the Palin clan on numerous occasions. According to a Palin insider, Sarah has already threatened him if he ever messes with her family again.
"Levi did everything he could to destroy Sarah and her family. He has accused Sarah of being a bad mother, a bad wife and a bad leader. How can he walk back into their life like nothing happened? He should think again," a Palin insider tells me. "He may have won Bristol back, but he will never gain the trust of Sarah. She doesn't forgive and forget."
Sources tell me that the 2008 Republican vice-presidential nominee is furious about her daughter's decision and thinks Bristol is making the biggest mistake of her life -- despite the fact that she and Todd eloped in 1988 without telling their parents. Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin
But it was ultimately Sarah who played grandma and comforted Bristol during her toughest times, while Johnston soaked up his fifteen minutes of fame by posing for Playgirl and hanging out with comedienne Kathy Griffin.
But it all comes back to politics. A Republican insider tells me Sarah is worried that her loose-lipped son-in-law will continue to ruin her political career and the public's perception of the Palin family.
"You can't control who your kids fall in love with, but Sarah wants this kid to go away. However, that doesn't look like it going to happen," the insider admits.
"So for the time being, Sarah is doing everything she can to protect her daughter and herself. And trust me, Levi has been warned. This isn't the sort of family you want to mess with twice."
"I haven't seen that kind of lowminded prudishness since the 1980's . "
Yes, cheer on "single moms"!
Is that what you have to do to keep endorsing Sarah Palin?
What in the world is a "co-religionist"?
I truly have no idea.
No, the truth makes tham crazy!
So like any other liberal mentality minded individual, name calling is the best they can do!
Plural's are not formed with apostrophe's!!!
Lowminded prudishness? Of course I meant passing judgment on others, trying to make yourself "better," and counting to see how long it takes a newly married woman to have her first child.
Sticking your nose in where it has no business being? Tell me, are you Relief Society President by any chance?
*rolls eyes* Sometimes life happens, even in the best of families. It has NO bearing on the suitability of Sarah Palin to be President.
Someone who shares the same religion.
Sarah Palin can pretty much forget about running for President in 2012. I mean this appear like a White Trash family to me.
I just know that when you GO onto Free Republic, people do not always JUMP to the same conclusions. This is why we engage in debate about the facts of who would make a great president. I am so sorry that I set you OFF, and I hope that we can find A way to BRIDGE our disagreements.
I kinda liked that one myself. :>)
Oh, I see, So it's OKAY for YOU to "pass judgment" on ME!
But I am NOT allowed to have an opinion based on FACT that disagrees with YOUR opinion.
Oh, see by belittling ME, this makes YOU the BIGGER person.
Facts are facts and now may I introduce you to HYPOCRISY?
You have just demonstrated hypocrisy.
Look at the facts and our differences will disappear.
As my friend told the son-in-law..."Touch her again and I'll kill you; not a threat, a promise."
What if Levi has been reborn, and saved by Grace. Has anyone considered that possibility?
Well, as the late, great theologian and philosopher, J. D. Sumner once said, "If an idiot is born-again, more than likely he'll simply be a born-again idiot."
I hope being Bible based has not turned into a crime on FR.
I also hope that facts, that don't soother Palin supporters don't make me some kind of social disease. Geesh!
I wonder if the lad is receiving some material benefits from some outside source to resume the relationship? It would be a great position from which to do severe damage to a presidential candidacy at appropriate moments with sudden focusing of the press on household problems and Palin's role as mother and mother-in-law rather than on issues and political principles.
Sarah's first child was born 8 months after she was married. You point it out like it means something and then call me a hypocrite.
Alllllrighty then.
Check the birth date of Patti Davis and the wedding date of Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis and then tell me if you voted for Reagan.
gliddy gloop gloopy....
Check the facts and put aside your feelings.
The manger seems to have acquired its dog.
Dang, I was worried about Sarah, but you're right. The first sign that Bristol has wised up and is looking for a way out, he'll have a tape out there.
I wouldn't forgive the kid either. At least not until he has spent years, many years, demonstrating that he merits forgiveness.
Could care less when her first child was born.
You're the type who would have turned away Joseph and Mary with the words, "there's no room at the inn."
One of your problems with Sarah seems to be that you think she's phony. On what do you base that opinion?
Bristol's take on the matter.....
Bristol blames their high-profile lives for the fall out. Had it not been for the fame and money in their lives, Bristol says, she and Levi would have been a happily married couple, leading a simple life.
I think Levi and I would be married, she told PEOPLE. He would still have his [oil] job on the North Slope, and we'd be in a one-bedroom apartment, scraping by.
The little twerp's Andy Warhol moment has ended and now he is looking for his "Sugar Momma" now that Bristol has started making some cash.
Forgiveness is a good thing but not in this case. Levi has shown himself for who he really is and has been found totally lacking.
The Palins were married Aug 29, 1988, Track was born April 20, 1989. Unless severely premature, Sarah Palin was 7 weeks pregnant when they married.
That's why they eloped!
The Palins were married Aug 29, 1988, Track was born April 20, 1989. Unless severely premature, Sarah Palin was 7 weeks pregnant when they married.
That's why they eloped!
You can't count.
I think the "Palin Insider" is their new neighbor.
If the kid is serious about not wanting to be a douchebag anymore, gets his life straightened out, marries Bristol and builds a life and career, I bet Sarah will eventually be just fine with that. And if he ever goes douchebag again...well, that disappearance can be arranged.
Let me give you a basic biology lesson. Let's say Sarah married on Aug 29 (she did BTW). Her last period was approximately two weeks prior to her wedding date on August 15th. To determine her due date we would consult this formula called the Naegele formula.
Last Menstrual Periord + 7 days - 3 months) = Due Date
Using Sarah's info ((August 15, 1988 + 7 days) - 3 months) = May 21, 1989. Track was born April 20th or at 36 weeks gestation. 36 weeks is considered full term.
Now, get your mind out of the gutter.
"Youre the type who would have turned away Joseph and Mary with the words, theres no room at the inn. "
There was no room at the inn. It was before a major Jewish holiday. You may not know this but it was prophecy that He would have a lowly birth and be rejected by Jews.
If I lived then, my Jewish teachings would discourage getting pregnant before marraige. In those days there was shame and restraint. When it did happen, people tried to marry quickly and not call attention to it. But, with people like you around, you'll CHEER on single moms. For you there is no shame.
Post Reply | Private Reply | To 121 | View Replies Sarah Palin Wants Levi Johnston To Disappear Thursday, July 15, 2010 10:42:18 AM · 120 of 130 colorcountry to nmh
"gliddy gloop gloopy...."
Yes, more impressive commentary from colorcountry.
It's all about $$$. Levi sees that Bristol is being paid a tidy sum to speak and he is never one to walk away from a business opp. Sad for the girl and her child.When Bristol is no longer in demand,Levi will slink away. Have seen it happen too many times before.Bristol has so much growing up to do. Thankfully she will have the emotional support of her family. She will need it when he leaves again ,with new fodder for the tabloids.
Maybe it is time for Todd to take Levi out on a hunting trip...
>>>Buy the kids a house two hours away by plane.
I predict something like this will actually happen; since Bristol has chosen her babydaddy over common sense, the Palins will end up shutting out Bristol.
"Lovely relationship between Bristol and Sarah ... if she can't raise her family well, imagine what she'll do for you as President. After all, Bristol got pregnant when she was a MINOR. Parents are responsible for their kids when they are MINORS."
You don't know much about kids, do you? BTW - how did you feel about Ronald Reagan Jr?
"He would still have his [oil] job on the North Slope, and wed be in a one-bedroom apartment, scraping by.
Careful what you wish for.
I agree with this. Ronald Reagan was divorced and remarried, two of of his kids grew up to become total weirdos, and yet he was still one of the greatest presidents we've ever had.
You need to read the book "All The President's Children" by Doug Wead. Bristol is tame compared to some of the other president's family.
The children of presidents tend not to fare well in life.
Read the history of John Adam's children. He rarely saw some of his children being overseas for most of their lives. As a father, he was a dismal failure IMO. Suicide and alchoholism is a common theme.
You are holding Palin to a standard that most US Presidents would be unable to attain. Why would that be?
The little man in the canoe must be doing the thinking for Bristol. It happens all the time.
"But I love him Daddy!"
"As a Mom, I can imagine Gov Palin whispering in Levis ear.......hurt her again and I will hurt you."
You cannot be serious with this ... the president of the United States is NOT a parent to the citzenry.
What the heck are you smoking anyway??
Go ahead. Cast the first stone.
"I also hope that facts, that don't soother Palin supporters don't make me some kind of social disease. Geesh! "
no worries...you've done a pretty good job of that on your own without any help on this thread.
I'm quite sure Sarah Palin does forgive, but "forgetting," that's a matter of interpretation. No one said forgiveness meant becoming stuck on stupid.
Bristol will have to be cut out of the family, essentially. Any information at all that might make its way to Levi, and misused by him, must be cut off. That won't stop him from making stuff up. But the fact remains that neither he nor Bristol can now be privy to anything going on in the Palin family.
Bristol is not only making a mistake for herself and her child, she seems to be little concerned with how deeply Johnston hurt her parents and her sisters who are still at home.
If she and Levi wanted to marry and live privately, that would be one thing. But announcing this nonsense in US magazine shows neither have learned or matured very much.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.


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Definitely sounds like pre-empting those specific periods where you feel you might stray could help!
Very stressful working week with v. long hours for me - have had lots of cravings but other than a couple of small squares of 80% chocolate a few nights ago that helped satisfy those - i've been good.
Have been living off shop bought salads as well as salads I have made for lunch (with lots of fats in) - but missing hot, home cooked meals at the moment
Should also say I don't have a lot to lose particularly, so 4kg felt like a huge loss in such a short space of time.
OK time to stop lurking, as focusing on LCHF and on day 4 now of no carbs (or pretty much no carbs). Am not tracking as I find it becomes a barrier to keeping it up - am eating a lot but the only cravings I have really had have been for more food, but I suppose that's a good sign? No sugar cravings at all - I have a very sweet tooth and so this is great news for me.
Down 4kg since Monday morning, however that was after a very heavy beer and food weekend, so it's probably more like 2/3kg down. I am the lightest I have been in over a year though, in only 4 days, so wondering if I really am not eating enough?
Usual day would be coffee and coconut oil, with 4 eggs and veg for breakastNuts or carrots to snack on
Large chicken salad for lunch
afternoon snack of nuts, or a second shop bought salad when they go half price at the local POD at 3:30
meat and veg in the evening, lots of veg
Feeling great after only 4 days, but haven't done much exercise. Will see how it goes when I try and go for a long run at the weekend and take no gels or anything with me
Good race BR. I'm also a chaser, and was supposed to be there last Sunday until a planned and then subsequently cancelled work trip meant that I didn't fancy paying the £120 for accommodation that it would have cost at the last minute! Great run split!
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- Ed Keane Associates (TMT Management)
- Janis Siegel ~ Website
- John Lochen ~ Monterey International (TMT Agent)
- Laurel Massé (Original TMT Member)
- Steve Hass (TMT Drummer)
- Tim Hauser ~ Facebook
- Tim Hauser's "I MADE SAUCE!"
- TMT on iTunes
- Yaron Gershovsky (TMT Pianist/MD)
Tag Archives: concert
Vocalese for the Benefit of St. Rose in Red Bank, NJ
Join us on March 28th for an evening of Vocalese benefiting the Music Department at St. Rose High School in Red Bank, NJ in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. The 8:00 p.m. show features yours truly, along with New York … Continue reading
Posted in Music, Touring Tagged alan paul, benefit, cheryl bentyne, concert, hurricane sandy, janis siegel, jon hendricks, music department, new york voices, st. rose, tim hauser, vocalese 1 Comment
Tour Update: We're Coming To Oakland, CA & Milwaukee, WI in February
We'll be at Yoshi's in Oakland, CA from Friday, February 10th through Sunday, February 12th, with 8:00pm and 10:00pm shows each night.
Then, on Friday, February 17th, we'll be at Potawatomi Bingo Casino in Milwaukee for an 8:00pm show. Reach the … Continue reading
Posted in Touring Tagged concert, milwaukee, oakland, potawatomi, show, tour, yoshi's 7 Comments


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You missed it This great deal for Anfinson Photography is over. But don't despair, we've got more great deals every day.
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Anfinson Photography
Walking Photography Class & Tour in Old Sacramento
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Most journeys begin with a single step; this one, led by photo pros Stephanie and Kevin, begins with a single-lens reflex camera:
• $39 (regularly $125) for a three-hour photography class
• Including a walking tour of Old Sacramento
• Sign up for a Saturday or Sunday session; 9 a.m. to noon
The Right Frame...of Mind
Perfect for beginners looking to master technical elements and composition, this workshop meets at the corner of I and Front Streets. A DSLR is highly recommended but not required -- just bring some sort of camera and an appetite to learn.
PAID VALUE EXPIRES ON September 30, 2021
PROMOTIONAL VALUE EXPIRES ON March 5, 2014


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Wizard101 is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) that's set in a school of witchcraft.
In Wizard101 you can play a young sorcerer's apprentice and learn spells that allow him or her to face the evil creatures that live in the city of Sorcelleville. A mixture between the world of Harry Potter and the fighting in the Pokémon, younger gamers will likely enjoy this MMORPG.
Getting started with Wizard101
To play Wizard101, you must first register online on the game's main page. Once you've created login credentials and installed the game, Wizard101 starts you out by helping you create your sorcerer. Depending on your personality and your tastes, you'll be sorted into a school of magic: School of Fire, Ice, Storm, Myth, Life, Death or Harmony.
The adventure continues with a tutorial about how to play Wizard101. You'll meet Merle Ambrose, director of the magical school, who will present the game environment. You will take part in your first duel too. You also meet the villain of the game, Malistaire, a wizard who turned bad and who you will have to confront at the end of the game.
Become the best Sorcelleville Sorcerer's Apprentice
Once you've completed the Wizard101 tutorial, you will be able to meet and converse with the non-player characters (NPCs) professors of magic, who will assign you missions. In Wizard101, your path will cross the other sorcerer's apprentices who are wandering Sorcelleville. You can also contact other players easily and add them as friends.
Battles against magical creatures and other players take a prominent place in Wizard101. Depending on your school of magic, magic cards, each corresponding to a specific area, will be awarded. This combat system leaves room for creative attacks. When you launch an attack, you will be treated to beautiful gorgeous graphic effects that show the forces and the conflict you started.
As you progress through the game, you will gradually find new magic cards, expand your powers of witchcraft and deal an unbeatable deck of cards. Later, you can even adopt a pet, which will follow your every move.
Wizard101 is a game with a colorful comic-style environment that is aimed at younger gamers.
- Customizable sorcerer
- Seven schools of magic
- Many magic cards
- Ability to battle other wizards
- More experienced gamers might get bored
- A little repetitive in some areas
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best game ever. pwns nintendo, xbox, playstation, etc. best of all doesn't make you angry and violent like crazy killing games (black ops, mw, ...) unlike ourworld, working around the chat filter is super easy. this is because it's made for more mature people. unlike battleon games, both w101 and p101 are updated and are multiplayer (MMORPG)
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Articles Wizard101
Three Kickstarter games that delivered
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Game of Thrones returned last week for Season 5. But before you start the new season, you should play... See more


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It is hard to believe that at one point this season the Gophers won the Puerto Rico Tip-off Tournament, were ranked 15th in the nation and were looking at a role in the Big Ten title race and a high seed in the NCAA tournament.
Fast forward to March 10th, the day the ninth seeded Gophers lose by 77-67 to the Northwestern Wildcats in the first round of the Big Ten tournament and it is clear that something significant happened along the way. This unimpressive loss capped a dismal finish to a once promising season in which the Gophers lost ten of their last eleven games.
What went wrong?
In this case, there is not one single factor that caused this meltdown. In fact, there are five distinct reasons that that led to the waste of one of the best starts in Golden basketball history.


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Thousands Evacuate As Typhoon Approaches
Category: World
/ Dec 03, 2012 2:28PM EDT
Thousands of people living in coastal communities fled their homes on Monday (December 3) in anticipation of a strong typhoon forecast to hit southern Philippines within 24 hours. Typhoon Bopha, with winds of 108 mph and gusts of up to 130 mph, is expected to make landfall early on Tuesday (December 4). A fire truck sounded its siren as it drove around in the city , warning residents of the approaching typhoon, locally named Pablo. Residents boarded trucks with their children and possessions and headed to basketball courts and school buildings that served as temporary shelters. Coast guard and rescue personnel in the southern Philippines were preparing rubber boats, lifesavers and emergency supplies in anticipation of the typhoon's arrival. The storm cloud approaching the country was 370 miles in diameter, and it would bring heavy rain that could cause floods and landslides. Disaster authorities have suspended ferries, banned small fishermen from going to sea, closed schools and suspended small-scale mining operations. Emergency shelters have been set up and soldiers, police and emergency workers are evacuating the entire coastal area in some regions. About 20 typhoons hit the Philippines every year, often causing death and destruction.
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In mybook®: Travel
Motel 6
1754 Thierer Rd, Madison, WI 53704
Open Now
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Since its light first turned on in 1962, Motel 6 had been synonymous with great value travel. Our brand promise – providing a clean, comfortable room and great service for the lowest price of any national chain – remains, but much has changed in the last 50 years. A passion for growth and innovation, in addition to our unwavering commitment to a great guest experience, is how we have and will continue to leave the light on.
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With a stay at Motel 6 Madison North in Madison, you'll be close to East Towne Mall and Olbrich Botanical Gardens. This motel is within close proximity of Madison Area Technical College and Warner Park.
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I thought the yellow pages were cool in the past they suck
01/16/2013 The management is poor. I had...08/24/2011
The management is poor. I had clothes stolen and they did nothing to help. In fact, when I informed the desk, the attendent laughed. Second, I was told they do not have weekly rates because they have had so many problems with their clientele. Third, the rooms smell moldy unless the air conditioning is cranked high. Finally, it was recommended that I park my car in front of my room window so I could watch it. Apparently, crime is high in this area. I recommend staying elsewhere if you have the option.
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This beautiful Valentine day colt is out of one of our best mares and by Flying Storm Kite. Rambo as we call him is pictured with his dam at only 2…SOLD
This mare was broke and started as a 2 year old, the owner started a family of her own & this mare became a broodmare. So she does ride although its been…SOLD
FR SKIPS LIL LYNX aka "Scooter"is a gentle, easy going mare with a jog trot you can sit in all day. She has had training in western pleasure and as a…SOLD
The gorgeous 2008 filly by Flying Storm Kite was to be a show project for our granddaughter, however boys have replaced any thoughts of the show ring.…SOLD
This mare is By Doc Red Man (APHA) 236,994, and out of Ladys Lenas Last (QH) 3,576,162. She is absolutely beautiful. She is talented and wants to please…SOLD
Gentle QH gelding, no bad habits. Leads, loads, trailers, and stands for farrier. He is all about the whoa but goes along without being prodded. He is…SOLD
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Bucket is Awesome! He is the whole package a Halter Horse that rides. I bought him with hopes of Showing Breed Shows and going to World. Unfortunately…SOLD


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To stock shelves in a way retarded monkeys would do so.
"man the black guy sammied all of aisle 3, it's going to take me all day to fix."
JK11 tarafından 23 Aralık 2009, Çarşamba
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taking in a large consumption of alcohol in a short period of time. symptoms include foaming from the mouth excess vomiting and sometimes even self induced pain.
i was tryna get a bop so i got this bitch drunk but she drank too much and got sammie'd and got alcohol poisening ):
Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezy tarafından 13 Nisan 2011, Çarşamba


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Deloraine is Godwin's last novel. It was published when Godwin, then 76, was experiencing a dynamic new period in his awesomely long literary career: Cloudseley (1830), Thoughts on Man (1831), Lives of the Necromancers (1834) are all major works published during this period. The connection between Godwin's novel and the story (including its literary representation) of Eugene Aram is well known. Aram had been a scholar and teacher who had murdered his friend mistakenly believing him to be having an affair with his wife. Aram lived for another fourteen years before his secret was discovered and he was brought to justice. Thomas Hood had published a poem on the subject in 1829 and Godwin's interest in the s…
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Allen, Graham. "Deloraine". The Literary Encyclopedia. First published 19 October 2004
[http://www.litencyc.com/php/sworks.php?rec=true&UID=5671, accessed 26 September 2016.]


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Newegg.com - A great place to buy computers, computer parts, electronics, software, accessories, and DVDs online. With great prices, fast shipping, and top-rated customer service - once you know, you Newegg.
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Home > Eyeglasses > Calvin Klein > CK5886 (001)
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Free outbound and return shipping
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Low prices
CK5886/001 Eyewear
With these designer eyeglasses, you are always perfectly dressed. Would another colour not be a better match for your favourite outfit? Check also the other styles of CK5886in our 2015, and 2016 Calvin Klein range.
With no frills and state-of-the-art materials and craftsmanship, these men's glasses stand for stylish design and self-confidence. Wearing full rim eyewear, you make it unmistakably clear that you are going the whole hog. The quadratic shape is a good choice, especially for softer facial features. The square glasses give more contour to a round face. The straight outer edges also give the impression that the face is longer. Plastic is a very lightweight and flexible material. This ensures a long life and a high level of comfort. Black eyeglasses are a must-have. They can be combined with anything and refine any style. Whether at your desk, in a club or at a fashion show - black always fits.
With the help of our digital dispensing optician, your prescription lenses can be configured according to your own requirements. Anti-reflective and cleaning coatings, antistatic and lotus effect are included as standard for plastic lenses.
The next shipment is on its way, so we will have your Calvin Klein back in stock very soon. We hope the unbelievably low price will be a consolation for the short wait. In our online shop we have consistently low prices. You won't get CK5886 at such a low price, not even in the sale.
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Treating ADHD and Comorbid Disordersby Steven Pliszka Larry Greenhill
Children and adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) frequently experience co-occurring problems with aggression, mood swings, tics, anxiety, or depression. Organized around detailed case presentations, this highly informative book helps the clinician make sound decisions when assessing and treating the full range of ADHD comorbidities. Experienced child psychiatrist Steven Pliszka offers straightforward guidance on how to avoid common diagnostic errors, develop an individualized medication regimen, minimize health risks and side effects, collaborate successfully with parents, and tailor psychosocial treatments to each family's needs. A reproducible structured interview facilitates sorting out symptoms and distinguishing between different comorbid disorders.
Select your format based upon: 1) how you want to read your book, and 2) compatibility with your reading tool. To learn more about using Bookshare with your device, visit the Help Center.
Here is an overview of the specialized formats that Bookshare offers its members with links that go to the Help Center for more information.
- Bookshare Web Reader - a customized reading tool for Bookshare members offering all the features of DAISY with a single click of the "Read Now" link.
- DAISY (Digital Accessible Information System) - a digital book file format. DAISY books from Bookshare are DAISY 3.0 text files that work with just about every type of access technology that reads text. Books that contain images will have the download option of 'DAISY Text with Images'.
- BRF (Braille Refreshable Format) - digital Braille for use with refreshable Braille devices and Braille embossers.
- MP3 (Mpeg audio layer 3) - Provides audio only with no text. These books are created with a text-to-speech engine and spoken by Kendra, a high quality synthetic voice from Ivona. Any device that supports MP3 playback is compatible.
- DAISY Audio - Similar to the Daisy 3.0 option above; however, this option uses MP3 files created with our text-to-speech engine that utilizes Ivonas Kendra voice. This format will work with Daisy Audio compatible players such as Victor Reader Stream and Read2Go.


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Gents run away with Patriot Relays title
LEROY – The Crowley Gents literally ran away from the field Friday evening at North Vermilion's Patriot Relays.
The Gents won eight events, all on the track, and racked up 139 points to cruise to their third team title in as many weeks.
Erath took runnersup honors with 100 points while Kaplan was third with 68.5. Notre Dame placed sixth with 48 points and Church Point was seventh with 30.
Crowley was led by Rontrevius Foreman who won the 1600- and 3200-meter runs and placed second in the 800 to earn the Outstanding Track Performer award. The University of New Orleans signee ran his best time this year in the 1600 (4:46.50) and won the 3200 in a time of 11:02.44. He ran a 2:06.06 in the 800.
Tyler Credeur was also a double winner after claiming the top spot in both hurdle events. He won the 110 hurdles in a time of 16.15 and the 300 hurdles with a time of 40.75. Both times were his best of the season.
Kirk Poullard also ran a season-best time of 2:04.09 to win the 800-meter run.
The Gents also made a clean sweep in the relay events, running season best times in the 4x100 and the 4x400.
Bryston Domino, Tyvon Griffin, Damon Malbrough and Chanz Moore teamed to run a 43.98 in the 4x100 while Moore, Credeur, Poullard and Thomas Cavell combined to run a 3:29.78 in the 4x400. The team of Poullard, Domino, Malbrough and Moore ran a 1:31.59 to win the 4x200.
Poullard also scored with a second-place finish in the 400 (51.66). Also earning second-place honors were Damon Guidry in the high jump (5-10) and Leighton Kilmer in the 1600 (4:58.15).
Cavell placed third in the 400 (52.46 and the javelin (144-11) and Moore was third in the 200 (22.71)
Notre Dame's Hunter Stelly earned the Outstanding Track Performer award after winning the javelin (180-11) and the shot put (49-10 1/4).
Andrew Breaux logged a second-place showing in the shot put (45-05) and Josh Kilgore was third in the 3200 (11:28.31).
On the girls side, Crowley placed fifth in the 10-team field with 54.25 points. Church Point was seventh with 26 points and Notre Dame was ninth with 15.75.
Mercedes Rogers led the CHS Ladies with victories in the long jump (17-2) and the triple jump (34-10 1/2). She also placed second in the 300 hurdles (48.74) and third in the 100 hurdles (17.15).
Notre Dame's Aline Gossen ran a 13:19.07 to win the 3200-meter run.
IOTA – The Iota Lady Bulldogs scored 135 points to claim the team title at the Iota Bulldog Relays Thursday evening.
Rayne was third with 96 points.
The Lady Dogs claimed five first place showings on the day.
Claire Regan won the 800-meter run (2:38.33), Jillian Boone won the 1600-meter run (5:58.24) and Madison Meche claimed top honors in the javelin (113-1).
Iota's team of Alexis St. Andre, Emily Navarre, Meche and Kate Lege won the 4x200 (1:53.56). Alexis St. Andre then teamed with Cambri St. Andre, Regan and Boone to win the 4x400 (4:38.47).
Iota's 4x100 team of Sarah Duhon, Lege, Meche and Navarre was second with a time of 54.36 while Navarre was also second in the 200 (28.78). Tori Fontenot earned runnerup honors in the 3200 (16:06.30). Cambri St. Andre added to the point total with a second place showing in the triple jump (31-8 1/2) and Ana Aguillard was second in the shot put (28-11).
Third-place finishers included Boone in the 400 (1:07.52), Cambri St. Andre in the 300 hurdles (53.06) and Aguillard in the discus (70-2).
Rayne was paced by Outstanding Track Performer Tristan Mouton and Outstanding Field Performer Tanner Wilson.
Mouton won 300 hurdles, placed second in the 100 hurdles and was fifth in the 100.
Wilson won both the triple and the long jump and also placed first in the 400-meter run and second in the 100.
Rayne placed third in the boys division with 89 points while Iota was eighth with 26.
Jalen Williams, the meet's Outstanding Track Performer, won the 100- and the 200-meter dashes and ran a leg on the winning 4x200 relay team. He also ran a leg on Rayne's second place 4x100 relay team.
Dakota St. Andre did most of the damage by winning both the 400-meter run (52.21) and the 800-meter run (2:10.50).