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1999 Mercedes-Benz E-Class E320 4dr Sedan
I bought the 99 MB E320, with 98,000 miles on it. I have owned this vehicle for over 6 years. Had to replace the AC / $1500.00, replaced the belt / $700.00..routine oil changes / every 4-5 months / $98.00 per service, need motor mounts, need electric work on brake lights, paint is severely peeled on top, front and back hood / paint job: $1500. But, as for the driving of the car? Well, I now have $219800 miles on it. It still drives smoothly, very powerful, very safe, handles extremely well. Yeah, it needs some cosmetic work, but, this is the most reliable, safest car that I have ever driven! I believe that with continued routine maintenance, I could drive it another 220,000 miles..easy
Couldn't be a happier owner.Purchased a formerly leased car with 43,000 miles and have just crossed 275,000 miles with zero problems of any significance. Of course have had some things wear out that are normal, but the car remains powerful and absolutely dependable.Much better car than the 1990 Lexus 400 it replaced in 2003.
Dependability. Long engine life which is maintaining power at more than 275,000 miles.
Have taken great care of this car. Only has 120,000 miles and the body is starting to rust really bad. This car has been washed and not in Michigan winters but for only about 5 years. I have been told that this happens allot because of the poor quality of the steel they used in 1999. Is anyone else having some of the same problems. What is Mercedes doing to help repair these cars rust problems.
had my 99 E-320 for 2 years now it has 94k miles , ive had to put around 6k in repairs into it because i plan on keeping this car a long time, it has never had a single mechanical problem, only a few electrical items, and thats to be expected if you dont take precaution in florida heat. ( i learned and since no problems) the only thing i didnt like were the seats, they could be a little more comfy, almost like a board with very thin padding over it, besides that, i have absolutely loved everything about this car, the pickup on takeoff is very strong, the ride is smooth, and the look elegant. i would recommend this car to anyone looking to keep a vehicle for the long haul, and hey..its a MB
the room in front and back is spacious, very strong engine/transmission, very dependable
would improve the comfortability of the seats, need to be more plush and comfortable. the seats seem to be made for city driving and not for someone thats going to be driving for long periods
My glamorous E 320 @ 38k miles start to show rust bubbles all over the body and cracks around the passenger air bag on the dashbord, the wood finish on the center console is peeling out, the turn signal is loose from the base, I must say that this car is garage kept and no winters what so ever! so when I call MB they request pictures of the car, no problem, then Mary call me and refuse my claim saying that the car was too old to help me, I explain that I have a ML with more miles and no rust and there are more cars like mine around the globe with the same problems and how MB help them out again the anwer was no and also the supervisor said no!
The design is awesome but the water base paint and the dashboard & center console materals are not helping this car for a good review, I have checked out another cars like mine in used car lots and most of them have a terrible paint job to cover the rust, but the worst part is Mercedes Benz customer service they don't even want to say their last names and the only word they know to resolve everythig is NO!
Improve Mercedes Benz costumer service just because they have to understand that we are buying their products looking for the best! not for nothing
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Wii U
'Crysis 3' not coming to Wii U due to lack of "business drive"
Iamerror777 4 years ago#71
Currently Playing: Call of Duty Black Ops II (Wii U), Nintendo Land, Mario Kart 7
kissdadookie posted...
JKatarn posted...excitebike64 posted...If I recall, wasn't crysis 2 mediocre?
Yep Crysis, Warhead and Crysis 2 were great.
Eoin posted...
lt519 posted...Meh, not so much, the game was released before the Wii U even came out. Anyone that wanted the game had already bought it on a new console.
sorry there's no room for that type of logic on these boards. you must be a blind sheep to the company you have no vested interest in other than your homerism and attempt to deny any legit claims against said company/product unto the end days.
Paladinrja 4 years ago#74
Ness0123456789 posted...
From: Paladinrja | #013These companies didn't take advantage of the Wii, now it seems they won't with the Wii U. What makes me laugh is that with the Wii it was understandable
I don't fault EA for anything, other than they exist. That some of the games from developement houses, we like to play come from under EAs banner. So be it, but I won't give them a cent.
EA could bring out the best games of the year, surpassing even Nintendo themselves. I still will not put a single cent into that company.
MetroidJunkie 4 years ago#75
JKatarn posted...
Given Crysis focuses pretty heavily on the graphics side of things, it really IS better off on PC.
After the crap that was Crysis 2 I have to say I am quite thankful this next PoS isn't coming to the Wii U. The first Crysis was the only one they managed to get right.
A real gamer will buy any system and enjoy it, a tool will sit on a forum trying to bash one or the other!
Canas_Renvall 4 years ago#77
'Crysis 3' not coming to Wii U due to lack of Nintendo being EA's prison b**** regarding their online system
I'll be playing this on my PC anyway, if I even dare get it. EA blah blah bad company etc etc.
I don't see Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony. I see Mario, Zelda, Uncharted, Resident Evil, Gears of War, Alan Wake, Heavy Rain, etc. Play games, not companies.
Paladinrja 4 years ago#78
mcsmellington posted...
We're only a week into 2013 and we've already got a contender for 'Most Inane Ramble' of the year.
Comming from an EA apologist that means nothing.
Paladinrja 4 years ago#79
Iamerror777 posted...
Crytek shouldn't left Ubisoft.
BigAl519 posted...
After the crap that was Crysis 2 I have to say I am quite thankful this next PoS isn't coming to the Wii U. The first Crysis was the only one they managed to get right.
You call a game you haven't played a PoS, so you must be the "tool" your sig is talking about? If someone did that about a game that actually was on WiiU, you'd be crapping puppies while calling that user a "troll".
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Frankfort battled back from 13 down to tie the game in the final seconds, then outscored Baldwin 10-6 in overtime to advance.
Andon Ware led Baldwin with 24 points and Brandon Childress chipped in 23.
"It was a tight game, and we let the lead slip away," Baldwin coach Scott Pedigo said. "We had the ball with 18 seconds left in the fourth quarter and rushed a shot we didn't need to take, which gave them the ball back and allowed them to tie the game.
"At this level, you have to finish your shots, and we missed three layups in overtime. You can't rely on the referees to call the foul every time."
Pedigo said that after winning the district, he felt his team had a shot at winning the regional.
"I really thought we could take it," Pedigo said. "It wouldn't have been an easy task, and we he had no idea how it would turn out, but we felt like we had the talent.
"Give Frankfort the credit, they made good decisions at the end of the game and that allowed them to pull out the win."
Frankfort (19-5) advances to their first regional final since 1979, where they will face undefeated Bellaire at Wednesday at 7 p.m. in Traverse City Central. The Panthers' last regional title came in 1975.
Baldwin finishes the year at 18-5 overall and 7-2 in the West Michigan "D" League.
"We're graduating Andon, which is a tough loss, and three other seniors, but the majority of our team are sophomores," Pedigo said. "We're going to have a lot of returning talent next year."


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January 17, 2016
Windows 10 - 1 down, more to go
I downloaded and installed Windows 10 back in August. Since it was on my test laptop, I didn't really get a chance to fiddle with it much. But now I see my family is noticing the Upgrade to Win 10 nag screen on their computers. They're now starting to ask...
So I went back to the test laptop to check it out. I am so not happy about moving to Win 10 - but that's just because of the way I use my computers. However, I do see that it is inevitable and I'd rather upgrade now free than later and have to pay.
Like a good geek, I updated everything before I started poking around. You have to make sure that your Norton is updated before you upgrade. Since my laptop had been offline for a while, I tried to update... Failed. Norton tells you to install a patch. Failed. What I ended up having to do is uninstall and reinstall Norton to get it to work properly. Not a tremendous deal - but it's something you may want to keep an eye on.
Then I tried to look at some of the "new" apps that Win 10 has added. This is where it went sideways again. It asked me to log into one of my Microsoft accounts - and when I did, it changed my start up logon to be that Windows mail account instead of my local account. Grrr. Not nice. I was able to go into my account pages and set it back to the local account, but again - something to watch out for... How many users are going to realize what just happened and know to use the mail account/password instead of the password they have been using for years? They will think they just got locked out of their computer.
So once I had a reasonable handle on using this, it was time to start upgrading. I started with my mom. I took my test laptop to her house and had her use it for a little while. She seemed to have no problems with interacting with the new OS. She even watched a video on "Onenote" while I upgraded her machine. [Go mom!] I think Win 10 will be good for her and fit in with the way she uses her computer. All of the things I don't want - she could use. So I upgraded her laptop...
Just an FYI - the upgrade speed will depend on a number of factors. Do not try to do this when you're pressed for time. The upgrade on my laptop with my Internet connection took less than 90 min. The upgrade on my mom's laptop with her Internet connection took almost 4 hours. The RAM and CPU on that machine were chugging along as fast as possible, but it still took quite some time. So plan for the worst and hope for the best.
Mom uses Microsoft Live Mail for her mail accounts. Those transferred perfectly - no issues. It took a little juggling, but I managed to put the tile on her start menu for her. Note : the "Mail" tile is not configurable. What I ended up doing was - delete the mail tile and right click Windows Live Mail on the Start menu and select "pin to start" to get the tile to show up.
The "news" application is a bit annoying to me (but Mom is okay with it). You cannot configure the news sources or feeds. You can only configure the categories of content. The "Weather" tile is nice - and you can go in and configure your location. However, when you go back to the start menu to check it ...wait for it... yeah, there it is. It takes a while to show up once you change the location.
Cortana is not easy to get rid of... But you will probably want to go into those settings and fiddle with it a bit. Once it finally realizes you don't want Cortana but DO want the search bar - it shows up. But you have to fiddle with it a bit to get it to stay that way.
The Edge browser really really sucks. There is a difference between the "Start" page and your "Home" page. And it's really hard to get your settings for the browser to persist - unless the browser realizes that you've completed your configuration and that's really really the way you want it. Ugh. Change it. Check it. Close the browser and check it. Reboot and check it. And eventually it will give in.
Here's what I don't like about Win 10:
Much of the configuration is taken out of your hands. There are a lot of "automatic" things that you can't change or configure. I'm used to customizing things so that the computer adapts to the way I work, not me adapting to the computer. For instance : if you're going to give me a news reader - I would like to be able to adjust not only the categories, but also the sources. I would like to use my own feeds, not yours. If you're going to have a Technology category - I'd like to be able to put "real" geek sources in that - not your Washington Post Technology section. And...I don't need you to update my computer on me automatically. I have been doing that very well and diligently for over a decade. I also don't like the way it tries to invade your home and the other devices around you. That used to be a _feature_ that distinguished PC from Mac. Now you're just like Mac with its snooping and trying to connect with everything from the toaster to the tv. And someone somewhere probably got a bonus/pat on the back for the new start button menu. Everything is alphabetized - with a big LETTER between items. I don't like that - it looks ugly. Only your Internet Explorer bookmarks will migrate to Edge. If you have Firefox and want to switch to Edge, I suggest you export and import your bookmarks from FF to IE before you upgrade. Then import them into Edge.
What I like about Win 10:
The tiles don't take over the computer like Win 8. Windows Live Mail migrated without a hitch. If you know the application you want, you can use the search bar to get to it faster than the start button. You can tile your frequently used apps to make them more accessible.
I think Win 10 will be good for my family members. For the most part, they use their computers to read email and surf the web. Mom uses Facebook. I was able to upgrade and set up her start menu so she has easy access to all the things she uses. There was even a free Facebook app in the Microsoft store - which I put as a tile in her start menu. As for myself ( and those who enjoy customization), I think I'm going to start looking at the registry to see if the things I want to customize can be configured. I may wait a while before I upgrade my other devices...
Posted by BlueWolf on January 17, 2016
January 09, 2016
CCIE Security Written Attempt
Yes, I know it's been a long time between blog posts here. When I do get a chance to blog, it's normally on the CCIE Study Notes blog. If you look in the Cert Battle Status - the certs I am currently aiming towards are the CCIE (R/S and Security). The battle has not been going well, but is still ongoing and has recently renewed vigor.
The toughest part of any of this is doing it while employed. Sometimes projects at work take over your "extra" time or wear you down and you're too drained to study after work. Not that I'm looking to be unemployed - but I've heard from multiple people that the only way they got the CCIE was to take time off work (months) and immerse themselves in it. I hope to not use that technique because then you have a tighter limit on your financial resources - which can also hamper your studies. [Rack rentals are expensive and so are tests.] The contract I am on will end at some time in the near future (we still don't know when) - so I have planned for that possibility. I am interviewing, but since I still have a job at this time - I'm a bit more picky than if I were unemployed. And if the music stops at some point before I find my next position, I will immersion study while looking.
For those who don't see me on a regular basis - my emphasis has moved from the R/S track to the Security track. I will be pursuing both, but if I get the R/S CCIE first - I am concerned that I will be pressured back into a Networking position and I would rather be in Security. R/S is a means to strengthen my Security skills rather than an end to itself - for me. So the recent focus has been on studying for the CCIE Security Written.
And yesterday I sat for the exam. Notice it doesn't say "passed" and have multiple exclamation marks. I did not pass. There goes $400... Yes, the exam is $400 now (up from $350) and unless you pass, no workplace I know will reimburse you for the attempt.
The test has changed - drastically- and it appears I studied for the prior test. I've been through the first half of IP Expert's Video on Demand class. I went through the INE Advanced Technologies videos. I went through the All-in-One Study Guide. And I know the material. However I know it in the incorrect format. All the previous CCIE Written Exams I have taken (and I have taken and passed 3 times) have all been the same. This is different. It's like they went from multiple choice to answering in Jeopardy style (form of a question).
Previous format of the exam was mostly multiple choice. There were multiple choice with "best" answer and multiple choice where you have to select "all that apply" (which are harder). Then you had your 5 or so questions that used exhibits. They would have snippets of code and you would have to answer questions based on the code or configuration displayed. Or you would be given a diagram of an environment (with or without a small part of a configuration) and you had to select from the various potential configurations to complete some task. And then there were always the drag and drop questions to match terms and their definitions or order the steps of some process. But there were only a few of those and you could take your time on them because the single answer multiple choice can be answered so quickly. Granted, the "weight" of each question is a mystery and you always knew that you _had to_ get those exhibits correct or you would not pass. Maybe you could screw up one but if you nailed the others, you had it. That was the old exam.
Granted, I know that Cisco is striving for tough tests. They want you to know that passing the test MEANS SOMETHING because it's not easy. Back in the 90s they tried "toughening" the test with a lot of "trick" questions. Then later they "toughened" the test by not giving you enough time to thoroughly read and analyze the question. Then they turned to "configlets" and chopped the question into multiple parts with a scrolling screen and multiple areas to view scenarios and answer questions. It turned the "100" questions into really 120 or so with the little sub-areas of question X, but it was an attempt to raise the bar. Now their newest little trick is : more exhibits.
As I sat for the exam yesterday, one phrase kept creeping into my head: Death by Drag-and-Drop. This is the newest iteration I've seen for strengthening the exam. And I really think it stinks. That's not how we do our jobs. We don't put things in tables or order the steps of a technology. Most of those steps are involved WITHIN the technology itself and are transparent. Now I can see ordering the steps of the Security Agreement (SA) establishment. THAT has value. If you can figure out which step of the process is failing, you can more quickly troubleshoot the issue. But to memorize the steps of the things I saw on that exam - well...let's just say that some of them are arbitrary and just the way someone organized it in their head. Or the matching questions - it seemed like it was just a way to ask multiple questions within the same question number. It seemed like the drag and drop was put in there for the sake of dragging and dropping so it would be "harder" in some way.
And the content ticked me off too. There was a HEAVY emphasis on IPv6. Now, we knew this was coming... eventually. And there was a certain level of IPv6 familiarity that I already had down pat. After all, this content is also in the R/S exam that I passed three times - and the IPv6 questions were never a problem. One of the things about IPv6 is that it's only something that you use for the test. It will be a very long time before I work in an IPv6 environment. But I know that this is a _global_ test and those that work globally must deal with IPv6 in their jobs. So that realization became a point in their favor that I begrudgingly gave them and accepted. But I didn't see anywhere (blogs, trade articles) that this emphasis had arrived. I will be ready for it on the next shot.
IPv6 was not the only content that surprised/irked me. There are multiple tables of content that apparently they require you to know/memorize. And with the test I saw, it gave me the "flavor" of what could possibly be on the next test they put in front of me. Granted, some of the questions will be the same but there will be some different ones (or could be depending on the questions drawn from the pool).
Like I said, I studied for this exam. I believed I was prepared. Had I taken a prior version of the exam - I certainly would have passed. But this is different. None of the materials I used (IP Expert VoD, INE Advanced Technologies and All-In-One Guide) will prepare you for this current iteration of the exam. They are great prep for the prior exams - this is new. And there is nothing out there that will prepare you. I've been here before. For some reason the Security track often goes through periods where the source materials are either dated or non-existent. I dealt with this on my way to CCSP. I had to read the Raw Cuts version of the ASA book online before it was published to sit for my exam. And likewise - I will now have to create my own study guide from the source materials and the Exam Blueprint. Hopefully my next post will discuss how I passed.
Posted by BlueWolf on January 09, 2016
August 02, 2015
Win 10 Install
This is not a "how to" on the install. Seriously, if you need that either let your kids do it for you or shut your eyes, cross your fingers and click. It's a really easy install from the user perspective. Microsoft has this set up as a "Windows Update" in just about every way (looks like the way I upgraded my mac....) [Note: the entire upgrade process took over an hour - but less than 90 min. Your upgrade time may vary.]
So what I did for my install was that I turned off all the networking components on the laptop except for Microsoft Client and IPv4. I disabled my wireless card. Then I plugged my ISP provider's router into a switch - which then connected to the laptop being upgraded. I spanned the port to a connection on another laptop where I was running Wireshark to capture the packets being sent and received by the upgraded device. For the most part, this should capture traffic to and from the device as it is installing and upgrading. Note that the actual download of the software occurred "in the background" when I "reserved" my copy of free Windows 10.
Now look at what we think is going on... You think that you've already downloaded the operating system and all it has to do is install it. So why would it need an internet connection to complete? There were quite a few packets in the capture and it's going to take a while to go through them. But this will tell me what servers it connected to during the update. There were multiple public IPs in the capture. It will be interesting to find out if they all lead back to Microsoft or not.
One of the things I did not do during the upgrade was check the wireless traffic. I do have an AirPcap adapter so I could do that at a later date. I would like to see if the upgrade turns on your wireless card to see what other devices are on your network or in your vicinity. And I should probably check for any attempts to reach out to my Bluetooth devices. But that will be at a later date. And...regardless of install - I would think that if it wants to know about all your devices, it would poll at regular intervals after the install.
So if you read my previous post about the Agreement you signed for this... you will know that Microsoft wants you to agree to send them certain information. So Microsoft wants to know -where- you are using this software. What device in what location? Realize that you are sending that information and that is what you agreed to get this software for free. Oh - and that's just the start. If you think that the agreement will be different when you pay for it...no, it won't. Same agreement - more money out of your pocket.
Now, I'm not saying don't upgrade. And I'm not saying that Microsoft is doing anything malicious. What I'm saying is that you should be aware that you are giving out this information - and giving Microsoft more control over your computer than you may realize.
Let's say you're an upstanding citizen of the US. And you only use your desktop/laptop to surf the web at home. You watch movies, you send email to your friends and you sometimes use the computer for games when you're bored. Hell, yeah - save yourself some money and get your free upgrade. Let them look, you're doing nothing wrong and you put most of everything you do on Facebook anyway...
1) Know that if Microsoft (assuming well-intentioned) can see this data - so can a malicious person.
2) What if you're an upstanding citizen with a sensitive job?
More to follow once the trace file is analyzed.
Posted by BlueWolf on August 02, 2015
July 31, 2015
Free Windows 10
Long time no blog... but this new Windows 10 deserves a post.
Like many people, I got the notification that I could upgrade to Windows 10 FREE (for a limited time). Well, even though I signed up for it - I'm not going to just plop it on my main laptop. So I'm going to put it on one of my little mini laptops and see what it's like first.
Is anyone else surprised that Microsoft is giving away W10 for free? So I did a little search on it. Seems that the story is that Microsoft is doing this so that it can boost sales in other areas. Great. Let's all run out and buy a Hololens so we can live in a virtual world. I'm not believing it. Perhaps they need a large install base to keep their footing in the corporate space. Who knows? But for one year we all have the opportunity to upgrade our most current systems to W10 for free.
At this time (at the start of the rollout) expect it to take a while to kick in. My Windows7 mini took hours from the time I clicked to reserve and the time it was confirmed. In order to do this, I had to give Microsoft my email address. Then it took a few more hours for the upgrade installer to download. To be fair, this is new (released on 29 July), so I'm sure the servers are swamped. Depending on when you upgrade, it may take much less time.
So now I'm looking at the End User License Agreement... Who reads those? I do. Here are the pertinent items that I found while reading it:
1) You agree and consent "to the transmission of certain information during activation and during your use of the software as per the privacy statement described in Section 3."
Okay, so I can understand them wanting to verify that you are upgrading a valid copy of Windows... but during the entire use of the software? I guess it depends on what certain information that they are gathering. But it does give me pause. I will dive into this more fully before putting it on my main system.
2) If you don't like the software and you want to "return" it... "might require you to return the software with the entire device on which the software is installed for a refund or credit, if any." What? If I don't want Win 10 anymore, I might have to send them my laptop to "return" it? Are you kidding me?
3) The agreement "also applies to Windows apps developed by Microsoft that provide functionality such as contacts, music, photos and news that are included with and area part of Windows." (See #2 above...)
4) There are some strange remote access restrictions. "No more than once every 90 days, you may designate a single user who physically uses the licensed device as the licensed user. The licensed user may access the licensed device from another device using remote access technologies." Okay...so this sounds strange. I'm not sure what they're getting at here, but it looks like it relates to remote access - which most home users are not going to use. However, it can look like it is talking about user accounts - which wouldn't make sense. But then again, with the home user in mind - most just boot up under one account and everyone uses it.
5) "During activation (or reactivation that may be triggered by changes to your device's components), the software may determine that the installed instance of the software is counterfeit, improperly licensed or includes unauthorized changes. If activation fails the software will attempt to repair itself by replacing any tampered Microsoft software with genuine Microsoft software." Isn't this what malware does?
6) Updates - the EULA makes you agree to update your... no you agree to let Microsoft update your system when they want. "By accepting this agreement, you agree to receive these types of automatic updates without any additional notice."
7) And if you want to downgrade (go back to what you had before the W10 upgrade), it's basically on you to obtain that earlier version of software to use. "Neither the manufacturer or installer, nor Microsoft, is obligated to supply earlier versions to you. You must obtain the earlier version separately, for which you may be charged a fee."
8) Long section about disputes and legal proceedings. Note that you agree that you can't be a part of a class action lawsuit against Microsoft...
9) "The software will turn on malware protection if other protection is not installed or has expired. To do so, other antimalware software will be disabled or may have to be removed." Really? Again, doesn't malware itself do this?
10) "You may not use such versions of the software for commercial, non-profit, or revenue-generating activities." Do people know this? How does this impact BYOD? What if you're writing a book? Or using your laptop to create a report for a customer? Do non-profits know they need to buy the business version of the software rather than use their home desktops/laptops?
Granted - this is a licensing agreement (and is legal-ese by its very nature). But it looks more and more like you don't own the device you buy. Well, you own the hardware that you bought, but you're "licensing" the software.
From my experience with Microsoft, they have been reasonably fair. I've been able to get activation keys fixed - granted, they were replacing valid copies of Windows that needed to be reinstalled (which is the whole point). And I think that perhaps the auto-updates and malware removal stuff may be a reaction to consumer demand. Users are notorious for not installing updates and then wondering why their computer is so slow. Or go to "popular" or "free whatever" sites and getting malware (without buying or maintaining any kind of antivirus). So that may be reactionary on Microsoft's part.
Once I set up so that I can capture packets, I'm going to click the agreement and upgrade. Then I'm going to compare the "before upgrade" packet capture to the "during upgrade" and "after upgrade" captures. This might get interesting...
Posted by BlueWolf on July 31, 2015
April 04, 2014
The Accidental Certification
I really never meant to get the C|EH. It was somewhat interesting, but not compelling. But I do realize that many employers and managers respect the certification. And...I could always use the CPEs. So I signed up for the WSC's 14 week C|EH class/workshop.
The classes and workshops were very interesting - they are a great bunch of women. And each class had a hands-on component. For the most part, I knew the material inside and out, so for me it was more of a review. This series of classes focused on the v7 version of the exam and used the Official Study Guide endorsed by the EC Council. I happened to actually have that book and the Sybex Study Guide (Graves). Any time I look at something I always use _at least_ two books on the subject. I've never found a book yet that completely covers any topic. The Graves book had some things that the Official guide left out. And the Official guide had some things that the Graves book didn't cover. I read both.
Once you take a class or self-study, you have to apply to take the test. Expect that this application is going to take some time. From what I understand - if you take the official course through EC Council, you can directly take the test. But if you don't take their course - you have to fill out a form, pay $100 (non-refundable) and submit your request for approval. They will write to your references/verifiers who need to write back verifying that you have the required experience. I suggest you use people as verifiers that are willing to do that work. Many people will give you a good reference, but how many of them will fill out a form on your behalf? Pick them. And if you don't hear back after a few weeks, write to the EC Council. They will check for you and see what status your application has - and if you need to prod your verifiers or not. Sometimes that email might prod them...
Once all that is done, you will get an email with your approval. Then you buy the test on their site and have them match that up with your approval. You will get a voucher number and an authorization code. You use the voucher number provided to schedule your test and you take the authorization code with you to the exam. There are two different exams - one from Vue and the other from Prometric. They are supposed to be the same exact test, but you have to pick one and that voucher only works with that testing facility. The facility I test at locally works with both Vue and Prometric (and a few others). Some other facilities work with one or the other. You can go to the Vue and Prometric sites to find out in advance where the closest testing center is for your area. Do this before you buy the test on the EC Council site.
As you can see, this is a process and it takes time. Do not schedule the exam until you are completely ready. I have found that my testing center can accommodate a Monday morning test that was scheduled on Sunday night. Your testing center may not be able to do that - or all the available seats may be full. But don't schedule it a few weeks in advance in anticipation that you will be ready by then. Things sometimes happen and you can end up with unnecessary pressure on you as the date draws near. That's not the way to do it and it will make it harder to learn with test pressure on your mind. Remember - you want to actually learn the material and know it (that's the goal) not just memorize enough to pass a test.
The other thing that helped me (again) was having a Safari Online account. Once I was ready and got my approval, the version 7 exam was no longer available. I had no choice but to take the version 8 exam. The material was not that drastically different from what I studied. However, just to be sure - I was able to pull up the version 8 book in Safari and "flip" through it to be sure that I had covered every topic. From what I saw, the v7 to v8 update was more of an update of their course rather than a drastic change in the exam. [It was not the same as the NT4.0 to Windows 2000 changes by any means. Now that was a drastic change.]
I found the test itself to be rather straight-forward. If you know the material and understand the topics completely, you should be able to pass the exam. Note that the exam I took had the questions chopped up in little sections - each with their own time limit. So you don't get all the questions and all the time all at once... That may become important if you have a small number of questions in the section and a short amount of time and you need to go to the bathroom. Just sayin' - go to the bathroom before you start. There was no indication if you needed to pass each section independently in order to pass the exam. And the sections weren't labeled - so the grouping confused me a bit. But if you look in the corner of the screen, you'll see which question you're on, how many are left in that section, and how much time is left for that section. At the end, you will get your results on the screen and a printout of your results from the proctor. And now that you've read this you know exactly what to do and you will pass!
There is supposed to be a "welcome" kit mailed to you (certificate, etc) in a few weeks. It has only been 2 weeks since I passed, so I'm still waiting on the kit. [The Wireshark kit was really nice and came with stickers.]
Good luck on your journey!
Posted by BlueWolf on April 04, 2014


text:
Clinton Township remove suspected drunk driver from his car
Hunterdon County Democrat
Hunterdon County Democrat
Hunterdon County Democrat
on April 27, 2014 at 6:34 AM, updated
April 27, 2014 at 6:39 AM
-- A Washington man suspected of driving while intoxicated had to be pulled from his car to be arrested, police reported. Patrolman Peter Schlesier made the arrest Monday, April 21 around 7 p.m. after receiving a report of a possible intoxicated person seated inside of a blue convertible in the Annandale Square parking lot, at the intersection of Route 626 and Route 633. The officer found Thomas Maren, 48, of Washington, seated inside a 2002 Chrysler convertible. Maren had his seatbelt on, the vehicle keys were in the ignition, the headlights were on and Maren had his foot on the brake, Schlesier reported. Maren told the officer he was trying to get his car started so that he could go home. Schlesier detected the odor of an alcoholic beverage on Maren's breath and also noticed that Maren was slurring his speech. Maren repeatedly refused to get out of his car, police said, "and was therefore forcibly removed from it by Patrolman Harry Bugal and Patrolman Andrew McCluskey." Maren was arrested and transported to police headquarters where he refused to provide samples of his breath for chemical testing to determine the content of alcohol in his blood, police said. As a result, Schlesier charged Maren with obstruction of justice, driving while intoxicated and refusal to submit to a breath test. He was lodged in the Hunterdon County Jail in default of $2,500 bail and his vehicle was towed and impounded.
More Hunterdon County news:


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LJWorld.com weblogs The KUsports.com Ratings
Ben McLemore tops ratings against Cowboys
1. Ben McLemore: Took over the game for stretches offensively to help KU erase a 14-point, first-half deficit. His three-pointer with 15:16 left in the second half gave KU a 46-45 lead and was the first of seven straight points for the freshman. McLemore finished with 23 points on 9-for-17 shooting with 3-for-6 accuracy from three-point range. He also added five rebounds while tying a season-high with four turnovers in 33 minutes.
2. Kevin Young: As he often does, Young provided KU with a surge of energy in the first half, slamming in a poorly thrown lob by Naadir Tharpe to get the crowd going and force an OSU timeout. Young tied a career-high with four steals while also posting an efficient line: 12 points, 3-for-5 shooting, 6-for-8 free throw shooting with seven rebounds and just one turnover in 24 minutes.
3. Travis Releford: His second-half defense was part of the reason OSU's Markel Brown didn't score 50 points instead of 28. Releford had three steals and three assists with no turnovers. His eight points came on 2-for-5 shooting, though he did make both of his three-point attempts. It was the first time in 17 games that Releford failed to score in double figures.
4. Jeff Withey: It wasn't a typical Jeff Withey performance, especially with as much as KU has relied on him defensively this year. The senior posted 11 points (4-for-8 shooting) and made all three of his free throws, but he didn't seem to have as much defensive impact against an athletic OSU team. The senior added eight rebounds, one assist and three blocks to go with four turnovers in 30 minutes.
5. Andrew White III: White III played only one minute, but man he did a lot in that time. He hit a deep three, picked up a steal, was fouled twice and hit three of four free throws to finish with six points. KU coach Bill Self hinted after the game that he should be playing the freshman more, but unfortunately for Self, White isn't a ball-handler, which is what his team needs most right now.
6. Naadir Tharpe: The sophomore made some shots to bail out KU when it was running poor offense in the second half. Tharpe scored eight points on 3-for-7 shooting (2-for-4 from three) with four assists and one turnover. Self wasn't happy with any of his guards' defense, though, and that's an area where Tharpe still needs improvement.
7. Jamari Traylor: Performed well during limited playing time. The freshman missed his only field goal, but in eight minutes, he grabbed five rebounds (three offensive) with a block and a steal. He didn't appear to be overmatched athletically against OSU's talented players.
8. Perry Ellis: Played a better first half than second half. With Self giving Withey one final breather around the seven-minute mark, the freshman had a horrible stretch, failing to grab two defensive rebounds while also picking up a foul. Self was forced to go back to Withey probably a minute quicker than he wanted to. Ellis missed all three of his field goals but still contributed four points (4-for-6 free throw shooting) to go with six rebounds in 13 minutes.
9. Elijah Johnson: After the game, Self said this about Johnson: "We were definitely a better team with him over there sitting down next to us and putting somebody else in the game." Just last week, Self defended Johnson, saying he was doing a good job based on KU's record. Self has reversed course now, as the above quote appears to be a pretty clear challenge to the senior. Johnson posted eight points on 3-for-14 shooting, making one of seven threes. He also had six assists to go with four turnovers and was beaten badly on the boards by OSU's Marcus Smart (eight offensive rebounds).
KUsports.com Season Standings
1. Jeff Withey (160 points)
2. Ben McLemore (158 points)
3. Travis Releford (154 points)
T4. Elijah Johnson (116 points)
T4. Kevin Young (116 points)
6. Naadir Tharpe (101 points)
7. Perry Ellis (89 points)
8. Jamari Traylor (66 points)
9. Andrew White III (38 points)
10. Rio Adams (23 points)
11. Justin Wesley (9 points)
Big 12 Standings
T1. Jeff Withey (69 points)
T1. Ben McLemore (69 points)
3. Travis Releford (68 points)
4. Kevin Young (57 points)
T5. Elijah Johnson (40 points)
T5. Naadir Tharpe (40 points)
7. Perry Ellis (37 points)
8. Jamari Traylor (25 points)
9. Andrew White III (15 points)
10. Rio Adams (8 points)
11. Justin Wesley (2 points)
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The Vol junior made 6 of 8 field goals, 11 of 12 foul shots, scored a game-high 24 points, dished a game-high 8 assists and played 29 minutes without a turnover in leading Tennessee to an 88-58 blowout of No. 25 Kentucky before a CBS national audience and 21,678 stunned fans – some wearing blue, most wearing orange.
Neither fan base could have seen this one coming. The 30-point margin was the largest by Tennessee in the history of the series … 216 games in all.
Even with star shot-blocker Nerlens Noel sidelined by a torn ACL, Kentucky put some formidable young talent on the floor. It didn't matter, however, because Golden took over the game almost from the opening tip.
"I thought Trae Golden really led us from start to finish," Tennessee head coach Cuonzo Martin said. "He did a great job of running the team and being Trae Golden – attacking the rim and making plays. When that happens everything else falls in line: The shooters are ready to shoot the ball, we're dribble-penetrating, and they (opponents) have to identify five guys instead of two or three.
"We've gotten better on offense – the flow and the movement – but I think that all starts with Trae Golden. When he's playing the way we expect him to play, everything just falls in line and it becomes a fun game."
Early January was no fun for Golden, who struggled so mightily that he was benched. When Tennessee's turnovers soared during his absence, however, he rejoined the lineup. In the three games since reclaiming his starting job he has scored 52 points with 12 assists and just 4 turnovers.
The obvious question: Why has he been so up and down?
"If I knew I would've fixed it," he said. "There's a lot of valleys and peaks in this game, so I kept working, staying in the gym and trying to get better every day. It's starting to finally pay off for me."
That was evident from the opening minutes of Saturday's game. With the score tied 7-7, Golden made a coast-to-coast drive and two free throws in a 9-0 spurt that produced a 16-7 Vol lead. After a 3-pointer by Kentucky, Golden hit two free throws, a 10-foot bank shot in transition and a 3 from the left corner to spark a 19-2 explosion that gave Tennessee a 35-12 bulge with 7:22 left to intermission.
It was 50-26 at the half, as Tennessee shot 56.7 percent (17 of 30) from the field and 100 percent (4 of 4) from 3-point range. Playing "small ball" for the second game in a row (Jarnell Stokes and four guards), Tennessee's pesky defense limited Kentucky to 33.3 percent shooting (9 of 27) and forced 10 first-half turnovers.
Tennessee sank six of its first seven shots to start the second half, building the lead to 66-32 with 14:45 remaining. The bulge peaked at 39 points (86-47) with 2:28 remaining.
As expected, Kentucky crowded Stokes, the 6-foot-8, 270-pound Vol post who came in riding a streak of six consecutive double-doubles. Limited by fouls to 20 minutes, he saw that streak snapped (9 points, 9 rebounds). Ultimately, the Big Blue's focus on Stokes created more operating room for Golden.
"I just try to be aggressive," Golden said. "Obviously, they're going to sink on Jarnell. If they're going to stay with him, then I'll have a driving lane. If they come up I can pass it to him. There are different options, and I try to use them to my advantage."
Jordan McRae added 15 points, 6 rebounds, 3 assists and 3 blocks for Tennessee, now 14-10 overall and 6-6 in SEC play. Kenny Hall came off the bench to contribute 12 points. Fellow reserve Skylar McBee added nine, going 3 for 3 from 3-point range.
Kyle Wiltjer scored 18 points and Julius Mays 12 to pace Kentucky, now 17-8 overall and 8-4 in league action.
Tennessee shot a sizzling 58.0 percent from the field, 100 percent (5 of 5) from 3 and 80.6 percent from the foul line. The Big Orange limited the Big Blue to 35.8 percent shooting and dominated the backboards 39-21 in manhandling the visitors for 40 minutes.
Asked what it meant to hand Kentucky its worst loss in series history, Golden smiled.
"To me personally it means a lot," he said. "I think it means even more to Tennessee. I hadn't beaten Kentucky since I've been in college, so this was a great win for us today."
One can only imagine how big Tennessee's victory margin would've been if the Vols had a "true" point guard.


text: You are here: Home > Cuisine > Indian > Gujarati > Khichdi / Rice > Ek Toap Na Dal Bhaat ( Gujarati Recipe) Ek Toap Na Dal Bhaat ( Gujarati Recipe)by Tarla Dalal 23 Nov 2014 Tweet 5/5 stars 100% LIKED IT 2 REVIEWS ALL GOOD एक टोप ना दाल भात - हिन्दी में पढ़ें Added to 175 cookbooks This recipe has been viewed 38525 times Another popular one-dish meal from the kitchens of gujarat, ek top na dal bhaat is an ideal choice for the evenings. Here, rice and dal are cooked together with vegetables and a typical combination of gujarati spices. Serve with plenty of buttermilk, to complete a meal that is sure to leave the family happy and satisfied! Add your private note Ek Toap Na Dal Bhaat ( Gujarati Recipe) recipe - How to make Ek Toap Na Dal Bhaat ( Gujarati Recipe) Tags Pressure CookerPressure cookKhichdi / RiceOne Dish MealsOne Dish MealsOne Meal DinnerKhichdi / Rice Preparation Time: 15 mins   Cooking Time: 15 mins   Total Time: 30 mins     Makes 4 servings Show me for servings Ingredients 1/3 cup toovar (arhar) dal , soaked and drained1 cup short grained rice (chawal) , soaked and drained5 to 7 baby onions , peeled3 to 4 baby potatoes , peeled2 to 3 small brinjals3 tbsp ghee a pinch of asafoetida (hing)1/4 tsp turmeric powder (haldi)1/4 cup green peas salt to tasteTo Be Mixed Together Into A Masala Mixture2 tbsp coriander-cumin seeds (dhania-jeera) powder1 tbsp sugar1 1/2 tbsp chilli powder3/4 cup freshly grated coconut1/3 cup finely chopped coriander (dhania) a pinch of asafoetida (hing) salt to tasteFor Serving chaas Method Clean, wash and soak the tooaver dal and rice in enough water for 15 to 20 minutes. Drain and keep aside.Make criss-cross slits on the onions, potatoes and brinjals taking care not to separate the segments.Stuff each of the onions, potatoes and brinjals evenly with the prepared masala mixture. Keep aside.Heat 2 tbsp of ghee in a pressure cooker, add the, rice, toovar dal, asafoetida and turmeric powder and sauté on a medium flame for 1 minute.Add the stuffed vegetables, green peas, salt and 2½ cups of hot water, mix gently and pressure cook on a high flame for 3 whistles.Allow the steam to escape before opening the lid.Add the remaining 1 tbsp of ghee, mix well.Serve immediately with chaas. Other Related Recipes Accompaniments Chaas, Buttermilk Recipe, Salted Chaas Recipe RECIPE SOURCE : The Complete Gujarati Cook Book- New Edition


text: The primary objectives in establishing a fresh image for a profession may differ from that of a product or service, but the rebrand-ing process is largely universal, according to Society of Actuaries (SOA) director of communications, Lisamarie Lukas. Sure, the SOA and agency partner GolinHarris were faced with tackling centuries of stigma and an incomplete (if not inaccurate) public perception of the actuary. But Lukas says that regardless of industry, the goals and strategies must always be clearly demarcated and client-agency communication should be paramount.


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Silver Spur Motel, Lander
- Free WiFi and free parking
Main amenities
- 25 guestrooms
- 24-hour front desk
- Air conditioning
- Daily housekeeping
- Picnic area
- Barbecue grills
For families
- Microwave
- Refrigerator
- Connecting/adjoining rooms available
- Private bathroom
- Television
- Free toiletries
What's around
- Heart of Lander
- Museum of the American West (0.2 mi / 0.4 km)
- Lander City Park (1.4 mi / 2.2 km)
- Lander Golf Club (1.9 mi / 3.1 km)
- Sinks Canyon State Park (7.7 mi / 12.4 km)
- Wind River Heritage Center (25.4 mi / 40.8 km)
we stayed here twice, to drop off and pick up our daughter for a NOLS course. Originally…
Very old. Very outdated. Needs upgrading, linens were even old - rough and 'bumpy.' We…
- Riverton, WY (RIW-Riverton Regional) 42-min drive; 32.1 miles/51.7 km
- Free self parking
- RV, bus, and truck parking
Silver Spur Motel, Lander
Hotel Info: 866-539-8117from $75
- Room, 2 Queen Beds, Non Smoking
- Room, 1 Queen Bed, Non Smoking
- One queen bed non smoking
- Family Room, Non Smoking
- Two queen bed non smoking
Also popular with travelers from the USA
At a glance
Key facts
Hotel size
- This hotel has 25 rooms
- Check-in time starts at 2 PM
- Check-out time is 11 AM
- Express check-in
Required at check in
- Credit card or cash deposit required
- Government-issued photo ID required
Travelling with others
- No cribs (infant beds)
- Pets not allowed
- Free WiFi in public areas
- Free WiFi in rooms
- Free self parking
- RV/bus/truck parking
In the hotel
- Barbecue grills
- 24-hour front desk
- Designated smoking areas
- Picnic area
- Accessible bathroom
In the room
- Air conditioning
- Coffee/tea maker
- Iron/ironing board (on request)
- Private bathroom
- Bathtub or shower
- Free toiletries
- Hair dryer (on request)
- Cable TV channels
- Free WiFi
- Free local calls
- Refrigerator
- Microwave
- Daily housekeeping
- Connecting/adjoining rooms available
- Access via exterior corridors
Silver Spur Motel, Lander's small print
Also known as
- Silver Spur Lander
- Silver Spur Motel
- Silver Spur Motel Lander
The property has connecting/adjoining rooms, which are subject to availability and can be requested by contacting the property using the number on the booking confirmation.
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text:
Main Street point of discussion at Rotary
By: Jeannine LeJeune
CROWLEY – For what seems like months Crowley's Main Street Program has been a hot topic throughout the city.
Tuesday, the Crowley Rotary Club welcomed Louisiana Main Street Program Director Ray Scriber to speak about the program as well as historic preservation in general.
In 1977 the National Trust for Historic Preservation created a pilot program. In 1984, Louisiana joined the network.
From that point through 2007 (23 years), Louisiana Main Street has seen the creation of 1,740 new businesses and 7,424 new jobs. In those 23 years, $307 million was privately invested and $463 million was the total investment into the program. Furthermore, for every $1 given in grants by the program, $138 in private investments are made.
Crowley has been a Main Street community for several years.
"Crowley is one of our favorite towns that we work with," said Scriber. "The downtown looks beautiful, but there are other things that will be happening in downtown Crowley
He also reported that he spent Tuesday morning meeting with Crowley Mayor Greg Jones and reported that the Main Street program would continue but would be revamped with a larger focus on volunteers for the committees of the Main Street program.
Main Street, as Scriber explained, is a program designed to promote economic development through historic preservation. It's office is housed in the Lieutenant Governor's office.
He opened discussing how businesses view a downtown area.
"Having a vibrant, growing downtown area that showcase the community's vitality are important to businesses," said Scriber. "If they are going to bring a business to your community, they want their employees to have things to do so downtown is important."
Scriber pointed out how it is a symbol of economic health, a good incubator for small businesses and higher property values due to maintained buildings as reasons why the Main Street Program works and how it promotes economic development.
As he continued, Scriber also pointed out the importance of getting volunteers for the program's ultimate success.
He also stated that the program is working on reaching out to young adults.
Scriber added that the success of a Main Street Program is not only reliant on volunteers, but a community committment in general.
"Main Street talks to the thing that makes a community what it is," said Scriber. "Your downtown is the heart of the community. I can tell that most of you are involved and interested in the program.
"Your downtown area is what makes Crowley unique."
One of the more well known parts of the Louisiana Main Street program are the façade grants, which have been utilized throughout Crowley's Main Street.
"(Crowley) has probably capitalized on that program more than any other communities in the state."
The grants help buildings restore themselves to their original, historical look.
Louisiana has over 30 Main Street communities, many of which are located in south Louisiana.


text:
Jones comes to WVU after serving as an academic counselor for football student-athletes at Texas for the past three years.
He will administer the operation of the student services division and oversee the academic staff, assuring a commitment to academic excellence. He will work with student-athletes to establish academic goals and then organize and implement programs to assist the student-athletes in meeting those goals.
Jones will serve as the liaison to the University's academic community, provost's office, admissions' office, registrar's office and disability services. He will assist the student-athletes in identifying educational and career interests, selecting classes and determining academic majors.
He also will provide guidance to the student-athletes in meeting their educational goals, through monitoring and guiding during study hall, tutoring and assisting with test preparation, study skills and time management.
Prior to his stint at Texas, he was the assistant athletics director for football student-athlete development at USF (2008-09), assistant director of athletic academic affairs at Oklahoma (2005-08), assistant athletics director for compliance at OU (2004-05), director of compliance (2003-04)
Jones worked for two years at Nike, as the product line manager for baseball and football footwear, at its headquarters in Beaverton, Ore. He also worked as an account manager for the Zipatoni Company and Wieden & Kennedy, marketing and advertising agencies, servicing industry leading national corporate accounts.
He is a member of the National Association of Academic Advisors for Athletics, the National Association of Academic Advisors for Athletics APR Consultants and served on Oklahoma's Athletic Diversity Council and its Committee on Governance and Compliance.
Jones graduated with his bachelor's degree in sociology in 1995 from Dartmouth and earned his master's degree in journalism with an emphasis in advertising from Missouri in 1998. He was a four-year letterwinner in baseball while at Dartmouth.
Jones, a native of St. Louis, Mo., is married to the former Mary Ellen Enigk.


text:
Unfair pension changes leave NI women struggling to make ends meet, Assembly...
Mothers and grandmothers are being forced out to work, often on zero hour contracts, to plug a new gap in state pension provision, MLAs have been told.
Home › News › Northern Ireland
Mothers and grandmothers are being forced out to work, often on zero hour contracts, to plug a new gap in state pension provision, MLAs have been told.
The National Crime Agency (NCA) has warned that Stormont's finance committee could hamper its investigation into the Nama allegations, the Assembly has heard.
A man aged in his 50s has been left in a critical condition after he was seriously assaulted in Coleraine early yesterday morning.
Labour has made a multi-billion pound pledge to make up any shortfalls in funding resulting from Britain's departure from the European Union - including peace and reconciliation funds for Northern Ireland.
Residents reacted with shock and horror as news filtered through that an elderly man had been killed and left in the boot of a car.
Meet the Lisburn teenager who has become the youngest person in Northern Ireland to be given a guide dog.
The family of a Londonderry footballer left fighting for his life after a one-punch attack have said he has made 'significant progress' over the last few days.
A man has been arrested on suspicion of murder after a man's body was found in a car in Co Down.
A man has been arrested after a man's body was found in a car in the Limehurst Way area of Lisburn.
The Stone Roses will play Belfast's SSE Arena on June 13 next year.
Four men have been charged with a series of dissident republican terrorist offences after police seized an improvised rocket launcher loaded with a Semtex projectile in Northern Ireland.
Police have charged four men arrested in Lurgan as part of an investigation into dissident republican activity.
The mother of a tragic young chef has told an inquest she believes he was starved to death during a prolonged stay in hospital.
Belfast's Royal Victoria Hospital is experiencing an increase in the Norovirus winter vomiting bug.
Claims that a fresh Stormont inquiry into the Nama controversy would prejudice criminal investigations have been branded a smokescreen designed to thwart accountability.
A sea captain appeared in court on Monday accused of being drunk in charge of a ship in Belfast.
A Dublin-based gang suspected of smuggling nearly £1.5 million worth of cocaine and heroin into Northern Ireland warned someone would get "a bullet in the head" if the operation failed, a court heard today.
New figures reveal that the deputy First Minister's car has been involved in a number of incidents over recent years.
The Government has rejected a call from the Birmingham pub bombing families for a special funding model to help them pay their legal costs at the reopened inquest.
Sunday Life
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Fixed PriceDelivery by February 18, 2013
There is one image I need removed ASAP. The keyword has 3.3 million results on web search in Google. The image is currently ranked 3rd, 4th, or 5th. I need it pushed down to the 2nd page of IMAGE SEARCH results. I own a firm and good work will land you more contracts. I will NOT pay upfront until the job is completed. This can be done through flooding results with more images, negative seo or any other method. Need it done by the 15th and the earlier you do it the more jobs you will get in the future.
Skype: megadethfanboy
Include "image removal job" in your cover letter or be discarded.
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Published 21 Dec 2011
The clip mrs. hamlyn from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) with Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey I'm s...
The clip mrs. hamlyn from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) with Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey I'm supposed to come too! Listen, I'm just gonna go get a salad bowl. Can you stir the soup and keep an eye on Joel? Sure. He just likes to be near me. Absolutely! Clem? It worked. My God, look at this! Wow! It worked! Look! Look at this dress, man! Oh, my God! Look at it! I wish I could take it with me. Who am I? Mrs. Hamlyn. Right. Mrs. Hamlyn. I must be about four. Oh, my gosh. Found the salad bowl, so I'm serving salad and string beans. Is he okay under there? Peanut, are you all right? God, honestly, I feel like I could clean up all day. Listen, would you hate me if I asked you to clean some string beans? No, not at all. Oh, my God. I love this kitchen. Thank you so much. She's not looking at me. She's busy. She's not looking at me. No one ever looks at me. I want my mommy. Oh, baby Joel. Hey, Joely! Joely! Is every little peanut under there okay? Mm-hmm! He's fine. Do you have something to drink? Would you drink a cocktail at this hour? I mean, I know it's not 5:00. I would die for a vodka. Oh, hang on. Let me check if I have that. Okay! I'm just gonna wait right here. Joel! Hey, no, sweetie. Uh, Joely. Your mother wants me to mind you. Get back under the table. Ice cream. Ice cream. No, not until after, you know, you've had your dinner. Come on, Joel! Joel, grow up! Don't leave me, Clem. Oh, my God, Clem. This is sort of warped. I'm scared. I want my mommy! Don't cry, baby Joel. Baby Joel, it's okay. Joel. Joely. Joel! Stop it! Look, I think it's working. Look, we're hidden, Joel. Look! Hey, honey, look. Wait there. My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.


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Stainless steel promotional scissors with plastic handle.
Our mini custom stationery set is perfect for school or travel use.


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There's a HOT new Cedar Point coupon available!
If you are planning a trip to Cedar Point at all this year, then you may be interested in printing out coupon that'll help you save $7 off your admission cost!
I'm happy to see that this coupon has returned from last year! I know many of you were able to use this coupon to take a quick trip with your family for a day of fun for much less than it would normally cost. You are allowed to print two of these coupons per computer.
You be able to find & print your coupon here!


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Kevin Drum and Jonathan Cohn are giving Joe Biden the Veep nod (could Obama be far behind)?
Drum calls Biden "a good choice" and notes, "Big plus here — the press likes him, motormouth or not."
I'd say, scratch the "or not." "The press likes him, motormouth." TNR's Cohn, in a post titled, "Biden? Yeah, that works," notes, "you get the feeling that [Biden's] always on the edge of saying something imprudent. Like I said above, if Biden is the choice, the Obama communications staff will have many anxious moments."
Political reporters' favorite sort of moment.
Liz Cox Barrett is a freelance writer and graphic designer in Kalispell, Montana. She worked as a newspaper journalist in Denver and Kalispell for 20 years.


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5 How-To's for Upgrading an Old Piece of Furniture
DIY tufted headboard. • 2 Janel updated her desk with a few coats of high-gloss paint. • 3 Use our DIY expert Shelly's upholstery how-to's as a guide for your own project. • 4 Refinish old wood furniture by sanding and applying new stain. • 5 Have your upholstery cleaned or clean it yourself to get it back into top condition. For more how-to projects, check our online archives.


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StartUpHire is the place to find Resource Manager jobs. Review the list of Resource Manager career opportunities to the left. These Resource Manager jobs represent some of the most rewarding careers available.
You can refine your job search for Resource Manager career opportunities by adding a job title, company name, or keyword to the search box above … or click the "Advanced Search" link for more options.
Don't see the employment opportunity you're looking for? Check back soon for more Resource Manager jobs, or sign up for an email alert (link below) to receive periodic updates on new Resource Manager jobs.
HireKeep's skill-set matching engine utilizes data analytics and culture traits to generate "matches" between qualified candidates and high growth companies.This match is an Web Development Senior Manager role with a cutting edge website company. We have hundreds of clients9/17/2016 Chicago, IL Save This Job
To apply, send your resume in English to firstname.lastname@example.com Position Overview: LiveVox?s growth has generated a need for a highly-skilled HR professional to join our team as Human Resources Manager. This is an opportunity to play a key role in elevating our HR offerings and8/15/2016 San Francisco, CA Save This Job
In this role, you will work on the Site Reliability team as a manager and contributor, on a team that encompasses everything from datacenter operations all the way to developer tooling.9/28/2016 Chicago, IL Save This Job
Job Description Reporting to the Director of Global Engangement the Senior Project Manager will lead the implementation of enterprise-class Staffing and Recruiting firms onto Bullhorn?s industry-leading and award-winning Software-as-a-Service platform. They will develop9/1/2016 Boston, MA Save This Job
Engineering Kent, WA, United States More experience. More success. More breakthroughs. Novinium is the world leader in technology to rejuvenate and extend the life of underground electrical cables, with a success rate that provides a better-than-new warranty. Our culture of8/14/2016 Kent, WA Save This Job
08.31.16 Facebook Twitter Linkedin Talent Acquisition Manager The Talent Acquisition Manager will be responsible for overseeing all of the human resources functions at Clinicient. We are looking for a highly visible professional with outstanding character, entrepreneurial9/13/2016 Portland, OR Save This Job
Location: Apple Valley, MNDepartment: PublicationsType: Full TimeMin. Experience: Manager/Supervisor SUMMARY: The Editorial Manager trains, mentors, and supervises a team of Production Editors. The Editorial Manager is responsible for overseeing editorial work (proofreading,8/10/2016 Apple Valley, MN Save This Job
Client Management Houston, TX, United States The Client Services Manager is responsible for the financial success of aligned clients in support of the Client Service Group financial goals. From a people management perspective, the Client Services Manager directly manages8/22/2016 Houston, TX Save This Job
Location:San Diego, CA Job Code:1097 # of Openings:1 Description POSITION : Project Manager, III DEPARTMENT : Project Management (320) REPORTING SUPERVISOR : Director, Program Management Office DIRECT REPORTS : No FLSA : Exempt EMPLOYMENT STATUS : Direct Hire TRAVEL9/30/2016 San Diego, CA Save This Job
Marketing Redwood City, CA, United StatesApply Now Send Jobvite Senior Marketing Manager, Corporate and Brand Campaigns The Senior Marketing Manager, Corporate and Brand Campaigns will develop and execute strategic, integrated marketing programs that drive awareness and9/23/2016 Redwood City, CA Save This Job
Job Location: Chicago, IL Reports to: Director, Professional Services Description As a highly visible and customer-facing position, the Implementation Manager works with an exceptional professional services organization, including project managers, product owners, process8/30/2016 Chicago, IL Save This Job
Professional Services Austin, TX, United States Apply Send Jobvite Responsibilities: Program/Project Management Team Management Sales Professional Services Business Management Ensure that services are provided, implemented correctly and billed in a timely and accurate8/23/2016 Austin, TX Save This Job
Location:Maynard, MA Job Code:MPPR74 # of openings:1 DESCRIPTION Product Marketing Manager Stratus is currently seeking a Product Marketing Manager. Reporting into the Vice President, Business Line Management, this resource will be responsible for developing and implementing the7/31/2016 Maynard, MA Save This Job
at LogRhythm (View all jobs) Boulder, CO LogRhythm is looking to hire a Customer Relations Manager (CRM) that will play a critical part in customer advocacy and retention for an industry recognized product leader in network security. This role offers the opportunity to join the9/7/2016 Boulder, CO Save This Job
New York, NY Client Services TubeMogul is seeking a Sr. Account Manager who will manage our top programmatic clients and will blow them away with their impeccable client services skills and knowledge of the AdTech industry! In this role, you will wear multiple hats ranging8/13/2016 New York, NY Save This Job
PowerReviews works with more than 1,000 global brands and retailers to collect and display ratings and reviews on 5,000 websites. Ratings and reviews are an essential resource for consumers as they search and shop online and in-store: they drive relevant traffic, increase sales,9/4/2016 Chicago, IL Save This Job
Full-time - Chicago At Getaround, we believe that few things are more powerful than community. Our Community Team lives to help build thriving, carsharing communities across the country ? fundamentally helping to change the way people get around. The Community Managers are9/9/2016 Chicago, IL Save This Job
Location:Maynard, MA Job Code:MIIM75 # of openings:1 DESCRIPTION Reporting to the Vice President, Business Line Management, this highly visible, individual contributor role will be responsible for developing and implementing programs to expand the use of Stratus software products8/30/2016 Maynard, MA Save This Job
Location: United StatesDepartment: PublicationsType: Full TimeMin. Experience: Manager/Supervisor SUMMARY: The Graphics Manager trains, mentors, and supervises a team of Production Artists. The Graphics Manager is also responsible for designing educational products for our8/10/2016 Apple Valley, MN Save This Job
Location:Manassas, VA Job Code:1540 # of openings:1 Description Job Qualifications: Aurora Flight Sciences is seeking an experienced Program Manager to join our growing team. This position requires an action and results oriented individual who can effectively lead a program team9/22/2016 Manassas, VA Save This Job


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Ronald L. Motley was someone good to have on your side. In the courtroom, his high energy, extensive preparation and legendary litigation skills won substantial financial awards for thousands of clients.
Outside of the courtroom, the North Charleston native was known for being generous with the wealth he earned as a class-action lawyer.
Over the course of his legal career, he took on large, complicated cases that many thought didn't have a chance — and he won.
His hard work earned him a personal fortune, and also the reputation as "one of the most influential lawyers in America," as described by The National Law Journal.
Early in his career, he represented about 200,000 people against companies where his clients had been exposed to asbestos. He honed the practice of class-action suits. In addition to winning compensation for his clients, he is credited with causing the construction industry as a whole to eliminate asbestos.
Later, he sued tobacco companies on behalf of states saddled with public health costs because of smoking. In 1998, thanks in large part to the efforts of Mr. Motley and others at his Mount Pleasant law firm, the companies agreed to pay states more than $246 billion over 25 years — the largest civil settlement in U.S. history.
His trial work won recognition in "The Insider," a 1999 movie about a tobacco company whistle-blower. It starred Russell Crowe and Al Pacino. Mr. Motley was played by Bruce McGill.
Ron Motley, who died Thursday, built one of the nation's leading trial firms by taking on difficult cases, working hard and winning.
He will be missed by the legal community and the larger community, with which he shared his wealth.


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Description: This is a softbound collection of questions designed to help the reader prepare for in training or other board style examinations. It is designed to correspond specifically to the Sabiston Textbook of Surgery: The Biological Basis of Modern Surgical Practice, 16th Edition (W.B. Saunders, 2001).
Purpose: Questions are designed to allow house officers to review for routine examinations associated with their training and to permit the practicing surgeon to prepare for recertification.
Audience: The surgical trainee or practitioner awaiting recertification is an appropriate audience for this work. Authors from the corresponding surgery textbook have been retained.
Features: Although the parent textbook contains 13 sections and over 70 chapters, there are just 21 chapters in this review. Broader subject headings are used for this collection of questions. General topics are covered first, such as basic science and perioperative management. Later chapters address surgical principles for management of various organ systems as well as related surgical specialties of neurosurgery, orthopedics, gynecology, urology, and plastic surgery. Questions are given in a multiple-choice format where one or several answers may be appropriate. Each multiple-choice question is followed by a single paragraph discussion highlighting the rationale for the answer. The answer is then given with a reference to a specific page in the textbook for information on the topic. There are no references or illustrations. Questions in each chapter tend to begin with fundamental anatomic concerns and proceed through essential teaching points in clinical management. There are approximately 1,200 review questions.
Assessment: This is a worthwhile tool for the house officer or practitioner facing standard examinations. Coverage in all subject areas is not uniform, as one may expect when many authors contribute to a small collection of questions. Nonetheless, the format is user friendly and the content provides a thoughtful exercise for the reader.


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The Spencer County Middle School volleyball team will host a sixth-grade tournament Saturday.
Teams from St. Dominic, Central Hardin and St. Aloysius will also be participating.
Admission is $4.
"The girls have been working really hard to be able to participate in this tournament," organizers said in a news release. "Please come out and support the sixth-graders."
The first game begins at 8 a.m., and the tournament lasts until 4 p.m.
One of the first SOS classes this year was Finger Knitting, taught by Edith Judd and Polly Pennington, with help from Mary Trice. There were 18 attendees. Finger knitting uses the hand instead of knitting needles to create a scarf. The scarf can also become a rope.
I have loved granola since I was a little kid. My mama made it sometimes but since I was one of the only members of my family who liked it, she didn't make it often. I got granola bars or granola cereal from the grocery store. Granola was not cheap, so it was an occasional splurge.
Every year people who want to learn more about their family histories visit the office of the county clerk in Kentucky courthouses.
AutoZone is now open for business.
The staff at Seven Counties poses for a picture during an open house on Monday afternoon. From left are Terri Williams, Amanda Goodlett, Melissa Davis, Sharon Trew, Elizabeth Reichert, Stephany Pond and Thom Cherry. Seven Counties hosted the open house to invite community members into its new, larger office located at 80 E. Main St. Seven Counties is the state-designated regional behavioral health and developmental services center which serves Spencer County, as well as Bullitt, Henry, Jefferson, Oldham, Shelby and Trimble counties.
Army National Guard Pfc. Allison M. Davis graduated from basic combat training at Fort Jackson, Columbia, S.C.
During the nine weeks of training, the soldier studied the Army mission, history, tradition and core values, physical fitness, and received instruction and practice in basic combat skills, military weapons, chemical warfare and bayonet training, drill and ceremony, marching, rifle marksmanship, armed and unarmed combat, map reading, field tactics, military courtesy, military justice system, basic first aid, foot marches, and field training exercises.
The Spencer County Historical and Genealogical Society's annual dinner will be held upstairs at the Sanctuary Art Center, 95 East Main Street, at 6:30 p.m. on March 28.
Editor's note: The following is a continuation of local historian Tom Watson's column on historical figures important to Spencer County. See last week's edition of The Spencer Magnet for part one. Tom Watson also included the following note about last week's article: "Thanks to Charles Darnell for spotting a typo in the original article of March 9. John Speed was not a Confederate. It should have stated that he joined the Union service and was with Sherman's Army during the march to the sea."
"The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you." — Kendall Hailey
Copyright © 2016
The Spencer Magnet is your source for local news, sports, events, and information in Spencer County, KY and the surrounding area.


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January 27 2016 - Products
Grote Industries
Grote's BriteZone line of LED work lamps features six unique lamps including two handhelds and four colored lens attachments. The company previewed its product line at the Heavy Duty Aftermarket Week trade show in Las Vegas.
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September 22 2015 - Products
Grote Industries' 4-inch round light combines stop, tail, turn and back-up functionality into a single combination light.
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Grote has introduced a new family of LED 6-inch oval and 4-inch round Stop/Tail/Turn lamps, each equipped with an integral LED built-in back-up lamp.
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July 3 2013 - Products
Grote has added to its library of adapter brackets to provide an easy and inexpensive way to upgrade a vehicle equipped with older, less efficient 2-inch and 2 1/2-inch incandescent clearance/markers.
Tags: Grote, LED Lighting, Lighting


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The Amarillo Globe-News printed a five-sentence story July 7 about a man being bitten by a pit bull. There were no interviews, there was no information on the severity of the injuries - nothing but saying a man was bitten on the hand by a pit bull he was walking.
The only reason I can see for running this article, was to fan the flames of fear and hate of this breed.
Please do a little research, and you will see that this breed is not the most dangerous, according to many statistics. Many of the pit bulls that attack are mistreated, abused and poorly trained.
Shame on the Globe-News for showing once again how biased you can be.
Paige Ballard
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text: You are here: Home > Course > Starters / Snacks > Kebabs > Spicy Baby Corn Spicy Baby Cornby Tarla Dalal 16 May 2012 Tweet Added to 98 cookbooks This recipe has been viewed 29367 times A tempting blend of spices is used to marinate baby corn in this recipe...... feel free to use any other ingredients of your choice in place of the baby corn. Add your private note Spicy Baby Corn recipe - How to make Spicy Baby Corn Tags KebabsCocktail PartyBarbeque PartyBarbeque Preparation Time: 10 mins.   Cooking Time: 15 mins.   Total Time: 25 mins     Serves 4. Show me for servings Ingredients 200 gms baby cornTo be mixed into a marinade1 tsp chilli powder1 tsp grated garlic1/2 tsp carom seeds (ajwain)1 tsp oil1 tsp cornflour3 tbsp curds (dahi) salt to tasteFor serving1/2 cup chopped spring onions lemon wedges Spring Onion and Curd Dip Method Combine the marinade with the baby corn and leave aside for 15 to 20 minutes.Grill over a charcoal or electric barbeque, either by wrapping in foil or by Grill over a slow flame till the corn is almost cooked and the marinade is cooked and has coated the corn.Arrange on a bed of spring onions and lemon wedges and serve with the Other Related Recipes Accompaniments Herbal Lentil Soup Mixed Vegetable Brown Stock Soup Salad Nicoise Winter Vegetable Soup ( Soups and Salads Recipe ) RECIPE SOURCE : Sizzlers And Barbeques


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That device looks deadly if thrown. Hell puts a new term to homerow keying someone. LEL
Yeah it's real all right! They are on ebay. My guess is that it would work. I'm not going to be the one to buy and test though
Here's an adapter for sale...
An Here's The Search For Them...
That device looks deadly if thrown. Hell puts a new term to homerow keying someone. LEL
(1)Classic Controller
(VC)Super mario 64, Gunstar Heros
Seriously, The Wii should have a keyboard!
I'd buy it.. Obviously putting it away when not used. Though I might wait for a Wii one
No Longer Have A Wii
I remember seeing something similar for the ps2 a long time ago. Seriously though, I doubt that would work because anything gamecube seems to only work while playing gamecube games and personally, I'd just prefer a small, lightweight, bluetooth keyboard that doesn't require a cord running from the Wii to it like this gamecube controller/keyboard would. But maybe that's just me.
"Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it." - GANDHI
Picture created by: NateTheGreat
Do you go on I-A-B?Originally Posted by Prez


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Students looking for tutoring assistance can book one-on-one tutoring appointments in Biology, Chemistry, Linguistics, Marine and Environmental Sciences, Mathematics, Physics, and Psychology as well as a variety of other subjects via myNEU under TUTORING. For a complete list of subjects in which tutoring is offered, as well as both content specific and non-content specific tutoring resources, check the respective menu tabs above.
One-on-one Peer Tutoring appointments in these departments can be booked via myNEU under TUTORING or via this link: MyNEU Login Page
Students are allowed to book two tutoring appointments per week per course. Peer tutoring appointments may last up to one hour. Peer Tutoring services are FREE and open to all Northeastern undergraduate students currently enrolled in course(s) in which peer tutoring is offered. One-on-one tutoring by appointment begins the second week of classes and ends the last day of classes.
Additional Tutoring Services
Tutoring is also offered in the following departments by graduate Teaching Assistants (TAs):
Biology: TAs office hours at http://www.northeastern.edu/cos/biology/undergraduate/student-resources/
Chemistry: TAs office hours in Chem Central located in 115 Hurtig Hall
Physics: TAs office hours in the Physics Workshop located in the 3rd Floor of Churchill Hall are posted at http://www.northeastern.edu/physics/undergraduate/help-with-physics-classes/


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Of course I stop out what will probably be the low of the day.
A stop loss is the best way to loose money IMO. I think it's funny they didn't pay a special out.
BKE will come back. Still paying 3% dividend and is not precluded from a special dividend at year end in Dec.
No special dividend only regular dividend. The spent alot on buyback.
A nice morning drop that wakes me up.


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Search | KCET
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I think the entire project describes who I am My meet me project. I was absent the first day this project started and I didn't ...
Departures Youth Voices http://www.kcet.org/ socal/departures/youthvoices / googletag.cmd.push(function() { ...
[scald=40747:kl_image_original_context]LA River NELA Riverfront Collaborative Northeast L.A. communities along the L.A. ...
... {"additionalClasses":""}] Departures at Chinatown Summer Nights, by klxadm We celebrated Summer ... our community partners and city councilmembers, that made Departures such a successful project for us this year. We look forward to ...
... Los Angeles' current endeavor, the Northeast Los Angeles ( NELA ) River Vision and Strategic Plan, aims to do just that by utilizing the ... connecting the five diverse communities located within the NELA area, improving access and mobility in and around the River, and ...
Our team's community cause is to improve an empty lot in the Fletcher Square neighborhood, located at 3324 Chapman Street. This is important to our community because the lot has been empty for a very long time.
... Working residents of both NELA and the Greater NELA are more likely to in arts, design, entertainment and media occupations, ...
... potential of the burgeoning "local food" economy in NELA , as well as the potential for food hub models to serve community needs, ... an avenue for community-oriented economic development in NELA .This entity would be organized as a non-profit NELA Food Hub ...
... The end of the year is upon us, and our ever-evolving Departures project closes another year of exploring our city through the lens ... us about his life-long connection to the river. ***** NELA Riverfront Collaborative [scald=60583:kl_image_original_context] Our ... or an ad, culminating in a segment produced for KCET's SoCal Connected. ***** Exploring the City in Whole New ...
Ballot Brief
Is California in for a Shock?
"Trump just needs "one sane month" and he could well win."
California, Get Ready for President Trump
Youth Voices
Literary Riot: Giving a Voice to Immigrants' Struggles
Karla Gutierrez and Paola Gonzalez, an 18 and 17-year-old from Animo Inglewood Charter High School, perform an original poem that gives a voice to the struggles immigrants have and continue to face in America.
Literary Riot: Giving a Voice to Immigrants' Struggles


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I'll say this once: if you don't like haterfics, DON'T. FREAKING. READ THEM. Now leave. Leave! *Thank you*
"Eddykins, are you going to pack your things?" Mary Sue told Gary Stu.
"But you're the only thing I need!" Edward/ Gary Stu sparkled melodramatically. Nope, Edward doesn't just speak. He sparkles.
"Hee hee, RAINBOWS!" Bella/ Mary Sue exclaimed deliriously.
This was how things had been going for, oh, the past hour or so as they were packing for their pointless trip to Portugal. Though they liked to deny it, there was no reason to be going other than one whacked-up thing- to have more sex.
"But Eddykins, we can do that at home!" Bella Sue had squeaked when he told her about the trip. Mind you, they were in bed as they said this.
"Yes mere human, but you see, how else am I going to prove that I'm so freaking rich and sparkly that I can do whatever the fuck I want?" Edward Stu sparkled seductively.
"Hee hee, DOUBLE rainbows!" Bella Sue giggled.
Now, they arrived at the airport in Edward Stu's sports cars. ALL of them- at once (don't ask).
"Eddykins, do you think we should- ohhh, a butterfly!" Since Bella Sue was obviously a woman who doesn't need anything but a man- this includes brains- she didn't need to complete an intelligent thought for Edward Stu to understand her.
"We don't need to take a plane. We can fly using my SPARKLY GARY STU POWERS! I only bought us plane tickets to prove that I'm so freaking rich and sparkly that I can do whatever the fuck I want."
"Mmkay! Hee hee, double rainbows all the way across the sky!"
And so they flew.
When they arrived in Portugal, they landed in a dusty but busy marketplace. After the usual rounds of the citizens worshipping Edward Stu for his sparkly-ness and the menfolk flirting with Bella Sue, they decided to look for an uber expensive hotel. Just as they were walking down the road, something fell on Bella Sue's head.
"WTF?" she exclaimed. She looked up. There was a chicken, levitating in midair directly above her, who had just laid an egg on Bella Sue's head. Somehow, it hadn't broken open when it had landed on Bella Sue, probably because Bella Sue's head was so full of air. Well, actually, it was because it was a MAGIC CHICKEN ROMIGOSH!
"Bgaaawk," said the magic chicken as it strutted away, still levitating. The chicken spoke fluent Portugese and English, but Magic Chickens usually choose to speak chicken for cultural and religious reasons. Magic Chicken had spent hours devising a plan to better the world, but alas, this story is low budget and therefore can only afford to pay Magic Chicken to be in this scene. So he'll never get to see it pan out.
Bella Sue rubbed her head. Her surroundings had gone foggy. "Ouch," she said as things went back into focus. But something was wrong, very wrong. Everything looked less... sparkly than it did before. Less fluffy.
"What's going on?" However strange it was that Bella had actually uttered a phrase comprehendible to the intelligent life form, Bella herself didn't even notice the change. Nor did she notice that her name was no longer Bella Sue but merely Bella. OMGWTF... plot twist...! ! ! ! !
"Darling, I'm trying to get us a room so we can have sparkly vampire sex!" sparkled Edward Stu. Who was still a Gary Stu.
" Who' re you?" Bella wondered. She was standing next to a guy who was... oddly sparkly. Who obviously wanted to get laid. By her. Why in the world would she like a sparkly guy? Why would she even associate them in the first place?
Now that Bella was actually starting to think normal human thoughts, everything seemed out of place. Portugal? Really? She looked at the pictures of both her parents she had taped to her suitcase and drawn a big red 'x' through. Apparently, she hated her family. For... what reason? The last thing she remembered was- wait, what was the last thing she remembered? As the narrator, I will tell you that since all those memories containing Bella in Sue-form, aka hot air, had been erased from her head and replaced with- gasp!- SUBSTANCE, she literally had no memories.
"Dude, I don't know who you are, but-"
"Shh-shhhh," Edward Stu sparkled, caressing Bella in his ever most disgustingly creepy way. "I dazzle you. You're a weak human. I'm so freaking rich and sparkly that I can do whatever the fuck I want. No need for words."
Under normal circumstances, Bella would've gone off about how his flawless masculine figure resembled a marble angel statue, perfectly sculpted out of the finest porcelain and crafted with exquisite beauty and yadda yadda. But with all that stuff in her head called- gasp!- SUBSTANCE, there was no room in her head for things like that.
"Sir Sparkle, whatever you're called, I-"
"No words." Edward Stu proceeded to kneel down in the dust and chicken droppings and pulled out a guitar. The guitar was, unsurprisingly, sparkly. Then he started to... sing?
"I have died every day waiting for you! Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I love you for a thousand more!"
..." WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT BEEOTCH!" Bella did what anyone would do if a sparkly Gary Stu starting singing a sparkly song with a sparkly guitar. At least, she did what I would do if that happened.
"Bella, what happened?" Edward sparkled. He stood up (sparklily). "The reason I like you is because you're a Mary Sue with a head full of hot air! You don't question my Stu-ness because you love it so much!"
"Too bad, beeotch!" Just then, the egg that had fallen on Bella's head and brought her to sanity hatched! It became a beautiful hippogriff named Clawtalon or something else nice and mystically violent who cawed and flew gracefully next to Bella. She jumped onto his back, grabbed a frying pan from a nearby market stand, set a basket on her head to much resemble a hat, and flew off into the sunset singing The Ballad of Melvin the Magic Hot Dog. Because that's what normal people do. Or at least, people still wearing off from Extreme Sueness. I guess you can never really become normal after such an extreme case of it. The citizens of Portugal cheered and clapped.
She flew away to Scotland, where she joined Hogwarts, changed her name to Alison Marmalade, and never spoke a word about marble angel statues again. Edward Stu melted into a puddle of sparkly goo. The author of this story was given a restraining order and always kept at least three miles away from any caffienated drinks.
And yeah, that's pretty much it.