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Do you ever just feel like a big, old, socially inept dork?
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Mar 13 2008, 05:13 PM
Hi fellow inepties! Do you gals ever feel weird or out of place with your family too?? I just had a very weird awkward silence filled day with some of my fam. It was odd.
Mar 14 2008, 12:30 PM
we don't live near family, but if you'd count feelings of alienation from having to listen to 'your sister (who lives close to them) did this blah blah blah' constantly to the point where you think ' hey- do I even matter here??' then yes. ( & it sucks.) I am sorry if you had something like that happen, but dysfunction is the new norm ey?
we went to a dinner at the mr's work last night; our frecklettte was being honored for her volunteer work w/ them, which is totally cool & we are much proud.
but I'd forgotten how it is with those people... despite looking really cute (vintage floral dress w/ denim jacket over & sandals) I still, and always, result in feeling like the ugly troll there.
my first thought was ' shit! I forgot to get a pedicure.' which is what I always mean to do, but as it's just hardly spring yet, crazily it wasn't high on my list of ToDo's so far.
I sat in a corner looking I'm sure constipated for all my miscomfort.
I know no one can make you feel inferior w/out your consent but or ok so I guess then I give Them carte blance for it.
le sigh.
I even tried to weasel my way out by asking the mr to bring frecklette home sinse we had 2 cars there, but he hates the socializing there as much if not more than I do so he wasn't having it.
I believe I am just going to more actively avoid going there when possible, altho I know we have another meeting for frecklette there next week. = slip in/dodge out=
Mar 14 2008, 01:17 PM
QUOTE(konphusion26 @ Mar 13 2008, 11:30 PM)
Hi fellow inepties! Do you gals ever feel weird or out of place with your family too?? I just had a very weird awkward silence filled day with some of my fam. It was odd.
Family gatherings with my wider family can be unbearable
With closer family its not so bad because they know me enogh to know what im like and what im really like. Still can be awkward silences though. I think Im just a socially awkward person. I find it hard to make small talk. Conversations can be very stop-and-start-y. With most people it's usually a bit of an effort to make that day to day meaningless conversation for me. It never seems to flow :/. Probably why I stick to the people who Ive already got past that stage with rather than branching out to meet new ones...
Mar 14 2008, 01:41 PM
Only when we're off in the country by ourselves in the dead of winter (Christmas, actually) and everyone else is eating shrooms.
Mar 14 2008, 10:14 PM
Hanging out with my family at my parents' place is actually the only time I don't feel awkward. But put the six of us (or me and my parents) in a public situation, and I'm dying with my own embarrassment, as well as theirs, which they don't ever have.
I've been a total hermit lately. But tonight was the first in a series of monthly dinner parties. I brought a side dish, which went over well. I left early (but not first) and was beating myself up over it on the way home. But then I realized that it was pretty cool that I went at all.
How go the socially inept weekends? I've got a plan that keeps me from seeing anybody but the dog until Monday morning. Sigh.
Mar 15 2008, 08:20 AM
Reading this forums really helps me understand that other people have the same problems I have with social groups Hostly am shy really really shy . Am all ways afraid people are going to judge me and think poorly of me if I say something stupid. I all so have a hard time finding people I have a lot in common with. I think the reason I fear judgement so much has a lot to do with the people I hung out with in high school. There was a lot of talking behind peoples back a lot of judgement about people and pressure to fit in and like/dislike certain things . Even tho am far from those people now I still feel like am in that environment . I also have a great boyfriend who is as far from being a socially inept dork as poss but can be a bit of a hermit which doesn't help movtive me to get out of the house. When ever I get around new people even If it's doing something I enjoy or know a lot about my mind goes black. I just can't think of anything to say
and I end up looking like well a big old socially inept dork
. Am going to try Meetup.com and see if I can find a few groups I can drag my BF to.
Mar 15 2008, 08:50 AM
it is
to me how much we all seem to have in common! just about every post, i can read and be like, "yeah, that's me. oh that's me too. oh my gosh, that's totally me".. it's unreal. especially because these are things about myself that have always made me feel so isolated and misunderstood. it's pretty frikkin neato to be able to discuss such vague aspects of life that have shaped so much of my life. you know, the human dynamic.. the interactions between myself and others.
starship: "I dont get how I can be comfortable with who I am and yet still be that way. .. Is it possible for anxiety and awkwardness to become a sort of habit that continues even when you are happy with who your are?" i would say so. simply because i believe any behavior we develop over time, to help us cope with our reality, can become a habit without even realizing it. i have found the start of changing anything about ourselves that we would like to improve is awareness of whom we are, and a sincere desire to change. meaning, now that you know that's how you are, if you would like to stop it, you should try to change your behavior/reaction in the moment that you recognize yourself doing it. supplement with a healthier, more true to you, response. i've noticed for myself i have to be like,
uh i'm not shy anymore. i'm quiet, and i'm cautious, but not shy.
so i adjust my demeanor accordingly. feel it?
lilac: feel like we're homegirls or something. you sure you're not a midwesterner?
kon: yes. as i told i_am_jan (where is that busty by the way?), i grew up feeling completely out of place in my family. even still to this day i have a hard time making convo with them... which is kind of expected, so i just act cordial and polite and that seems to work out ok. like starship said, they know how i am so any common ground i can find with them is an improvement.
freckle: doesnt it suck how our neurosis/insecurities can take us away from some pretty important events? i think that's a main reason i've always wanted to be more confident, because i didnt want to miss out on anything simply because i didnt feel good about myself. i hate hate hate that annoying nagging feeling of being inferior even if that's not really the case. i find i cant even enjoy some shows out anymore if i feel too old or out of touch, which entirely sucks because that's not what the show is about anyway. know what i mean?
dusty: nice
lunia: i would have to agree, i experienced the same thing in hs. although i dont even talk to any of them and i've experienced so much more in life.... that seems to be a very memorable time in which we are learning about ourselves and how we imagine the world to be eh?
((socially inepts))
Mar 17 2008, 11:41 PM
I get amazed by how much we have in common too.
For my immediate family, I seem to do fine, but then again, it's just my parents and I. For extended family, I sometimes feel awkward, it depends on who I'm talking to and if we have anything in common besides shared ancestry. Usually my conversations with them are a lot like sharship's--very start-and-stop, and not much to say about every day life. I feel a little stupid asking my cousin about his kids when I already know, my mom is pretty good at telling me everything that goes on.
Knorl, I was born and raised in Minnesota, and if that doesn't make me a midwestener, then nothing will.
I moved down to Arizona almost three years ago, hence the "Great Southwest" location. I still see Minnesota as "home," though.
Lunia: I think part of my social phobia is from high school too, I had a group of friends that were mean to each other and I was pretty much on the lower rungs of the social ladder, so that makes me suspicious of trusting other people.
Oddly enough, I didn't pick up on people judging me until after I got out of high school, which doesn't help me trust others.
This past weekend wasn't too bad, I didn't go anywhere but I did volunteer for some archeology project in the area. I did talk to a few people, did lots of hiking, and found some cool stuff, but the only people who weren't retirees were the group leader and his intern. I've been out with them before, but we really don't know each other that well, and it still felt like awkward small talk. It was still nice to go out and do something outdoors.
Mar 23 2008, 02:27 PM
Oh hey everyone. I'm back in my busty saddle again. Missed you guys!! Yikes, it's been a grueling past couple of months for me. After the rageaholic moved out, with no notice, leaving me jobless with no computer, phone, etc. , your homegirl is back better than ever. Got me a new job clerking at a law firm (pays ridiculously well), a new computer, new phone, everything. I know he thought I was going to have to move out of this place once he left, it's pretty pricey for one person; however, surprise babe! I ain't leaving. I just moved here.
So in the meantime, I had to batton down the hatches (where have I come up with this saying?), work work work, but now I've got a little free time again.
Of course, I'm staying in as usual
Although I did go check out a couple bands solo last evening. Interesting. I just wanted to break the ice, as there have been certain shows I've wanted to catch, yet no one to go with, so I wanted to face the fear, go alone once, (I used to do it all the time! but it's been a couple years, since I had the BF, see?) But so I've done that now, next time I want to check out a band it won't seem like such a huge deal. Saw a couple people I recognized from the scene a couple years back. Said hi and stuff. Felt anxious, of course, but what's new. And I did feel sorta lonely went I left alone and came back to just Winky. But only for a couple of seconds. I'm sure it's cuz I saw all the couples out and stuff, you know girl.
Speaking of which, ladies: has anyone 'hooked up' online? I mean, like just TALKED (not met up or anything). I have this new internet 'boyfriend.' Yes, how unhealthy, right? Perfect for me though right now, ha ha. I actually had never done this before, I started when I would simply post comments on this 'chatboard' and a very witty guy from it began emailing me so it's been a back and forth thing. I never thought I was one who'd get hooked, yet I have! The only problem with it is that ya'll know how geeky I am about getting my reading done, and practicing my music and so forth. Well I've slacked off and lemme tell you, I'm feeling a little out of sorts! You know how 'disciplined' I am, ha ha! But he's fun, smart, funny, so I've thrown caution to the wind for just a little while. Am giving myself just enough rope to hang myself, as they say!
Ah, I noticed a conversation about midwesterners? No wonder several of us have so much in common! (*Knorl, I'm winking at you hon*) Yes, the midwest is certainly the home of the bubbly fine-dayers, overly enthusiastic small-talkers, as well as the forced smilers. Ah. Maybe there's a reason to feel particularly out of place here for a gal or six who are not so easily amused by this chatty 'gaity', ha ha!
Anyway, I have missed you guys (((hugs))). Can't wait to hear what's up. I'll see you in the threadz!!
Mar 24 2008, 02:53 AM
((i am jan)) welcome back! missed you! sososo happy to hear of all the good things you've created for yourself in your life as of late. you inspire me.
i think in this day with computers being such an integral part of our networking systems there's nothing wrong with meeting someone online.. just gotta keep your healthy skepticism sharp when getting to know them because it's so much easier for the creeps to pretend to be something they're not. kna'mean? have fun and keep us posted. .......... have you ever performed your music out, or considered it? just curious, i think that could be exciting.
lilacwine13: i knew it.
i am jan was right on with the social graces of the midwest. i too feel like relocating to someplace new. how well did the transition go for you, i get nervous about that large of a change..
Mar 24 2008, 08:37 PM
ive met up with a guy online before. I suprised myself because it's something i never imagined i would do. I dont see anything wrong with it but would advise to take everything with a pinch of salt and be wary before vesting any real emotions in that person. Sometimes it's hard not to when you talk to someone frequently and seem to get along so perfectly on paper. A lot of people feel the need to create an alternate persona online- even if there's nothing wrong with their real one...
Exam period is looming so there goes any shambles of a social life that I may of had. Im going to the cinema this friday, purely to save me from insanity. But not much else i suspect. Socialised quite a bit on my birthday last weekend-met a few new people and had some easy going conversations (almost felt normal). Also went with family to visit a sick relative over the weekend. Nothing too taxing and it all went smoothly.
Welcome back I_am_jan
Mar 29 2008, 04:50 PM
do any socially inept busties get overly frustrated with the complete inability to be like others? i dont really want to be like anyone else, i would just like the luxury to be able to do more with myself. anyone feel me on that? like i always feel so out of place with everything. even in the bust lounge sometimes. it's weird. like i know who i am for the most part, i know what i like, where i've been, etc, i just have this lingering feeling that i'm a fraud or inadequate. boohiss!! like i can know, "oh i'm an artist" or "oh i'm punk" or "oh i dig poetix" or "oh i get into philosophy" or "oh i care about this that or the other"... but none of that even seems to matter with the day to day bullshit of interacting with people. none of that comes into play necessarily when i'm feeling the negative or oppressive energy from others, you know, the stares, glares, condescending attitudes... perhaps it's by nature, or by choice, but it still leaves me feeling -lost- -frustrated- -immature- -unworthy-.... could be a manifestation of my own subconscious to keep me down so that i dont have to deal with more bullshit if i were to be confident and successful. the damn pressure!
Mar 29 2008, 10:20 PM
Yes! But my long post just got eaten. Boo. I vacillate between wishing I could just be like everybody else, and being glad that I'm not.
Mar 30 2008, 10:09 AM
Well yet another weekend at home . I just can't seem to get motived to doing anything any more
May be when the weather gets a little warm I can kind something to do in the city .
anna k
Mar 30 2008, 01:39 PM
With my new job, I'm working on the weekends, and by 6 pm I'm tired and want to go home. The last things I've done have been spending Easter with my family, seeing a play, and seeing a concert. I haven't been interested in dating and am more interested in building my career, saving my money, reading new books, and finding interesting things to do. I'm still signed up to Meetup.com, and am going to do some volunteer work at a homeless shelter next month.
That is so fantastic,
i am jan
Mar 31 2008, 01:22 AM
obelix: i made mention of that to my therapist a while back... saying that i think it would just be "easier" to not have to be so different. you know, sometimes i wonder if ignorance really is bliss. and she made the point that she believes an 'easy life' is a misnomer, that it's almost impossible to be free of (or avoid) conflict and problems in life. and it's really true. everyone's got something they have to deal with, that's the very nature of life... how we respond to what we're dealt, i think matters more. even a person who *appears* to have it all, not only could be putting up a front, but also there's no guarantee it will last forever. you know what i mean..? the potential for tragedy is almost inevitable for any human person. i think to lie to ourselves and pretend life is meant to be this bright happy shiny place is leaving one open for not only disappointment but also a major clash with reality - the likes of which some may not be able to recover. getting in touch with reality, i suppose that should be our number one priority, but it's not. we prolong, procrastinate, make up excuses, and live in a dream state in an attempt to avoid these everpresent problems with which we're all faced.
anyway. yeah, i'd much rather be like myself than anyone else, i guess i would just like to know sometimes what it's like to be considered "normal". but normal isnt necessarily the ideal.. especially among others who are like us, eh? xo. oh, and another thing, i hate the fear of being different. this anxiety we've all been discussing. living true to our ideals that individuality is a priority, may not (many times does not) match up with the belief system of the masses. that causes them to feel anger, fear, and frustration toward individuals who are not like them, which is why they react the way they do with oppression and disrespect. i guess the point i'm making, is that we all experience these emotions when interacting with one another in the world, especially when we are confronted with people who are not like us, of whom we have no real reference for: people who we may not fully understand. the key is to not allow it to affect our self worth or perception, and to attempt to get along with as much mutual respect as possible. IMO anyway.
Apr 1 2008, 10:10 AM
QUOTE(knorl05 @ Mar 31 2008, 07:39 AM)
i guess the point i'm making, is that we all experience these emotions when interacting with one another in the world, especially when we are confronted with people who are not like us, of whom we have no real reference for: people who we may not fully understand. the key is to not allow it to affect our self worth or perception, and to attempt to get along with as much mutual respect as possible. IMO anyway.
in regard to getting frustrated with being/feeling different: yes. No matter how much I like myself, the way that I am, enjoy my alone activities! I look around and see so many other people really connecting, making friends, connections, having fun with other people ~~ and mainly this: having easily flowing conversations that volley back and forth, seem totally natural and not a big deal to either party. This is where I am completely on the outside looking in. I am like you guys here: I am interested in things, I read about stuff, I listen to music, etc., etc., ~~ but does it serve to connect me with others? Not really. It just feels so awkward when these things seem so natural for most other people. And yes, I also feel fraudulent. I think it's the awkwardness ~ the uber awareness that you're so different in a fundamental way (socializing!?) ~ that makes you feel that. Because you have to pretend. To feel comfortable. That it's not a big deal. When it feels like it is. A huge deal. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I'm very sensitive. To the world, to other peoples' reactions to me, etc. In contrast, I see others have an awkward moment once in a while, or someone treats them with just a little bit of disrespect, and they don't seem to notice it. Don't even give it a thought, but go on their merry way. I sometimes wish I didn't notice things so much. Maybe it would help me to just 'go with the flow' more. But you know, it's not how I experience things. I feel this need to reflect on things inwardly, or something. Once in a while I'll try to fly by the seat of my pants and, again, 'go with the flow'. The most recent time, I went and hung out with some people after work, thinking 'hey, I haven't done this in a while, give it a shot, try something new, maybe it'll turn out differently this time', right? So, I go. It's a light-drinking situation, starting at some guy's house. (But it wouldn't have mattered even if it weren't a drinking situation): He's a good guy, these are good people, who really want to get to know me and are giving me their full attention/a chance. They are rather smart, fun, not too 'dangerous' or anything. But you know what? It felt dangerous to me. (Dangerous?!). Kept feeling like I needed to get home. It was like, the anxiety, I couldn't relax, no matter what happened, I was too uptight to really let go and 'have fun,' so...I was pretending to enjoy, I felt like a faker. And that seems to be the ending each time I attempt to venture out a little. Uggh!!! Yeesh girls it's really hard not to feel like a dork, and I'm not sure I've wanted to use throw that word around here too much but my gosh. Does anyone else feel like it's simply not going to be possible to get to know people unless it's over a long period of time? Because that's me. It's like, I need so much more than one or two casual social encounters to ever open up to people or be able to think about and get to know them as well? Like, it's a slower process than maybe what it is for others?
Apr 1 2008, 08:58 PM
iamjan - holy crap. I just teared up a little reading your post. Exactly! I see my acquaintances chit-chatting, playing volleyball, eating lunch together, and it's so
for them. They're not thinking about it every second like I do. "Should I talk now? Is my story as good as that one? Will it look like I'm trying to one-up somebody if I talk now?" On and on in my head, so I can't get the enjoyment out of socializing that everybody else seems to.
And yeah, it takes me waaaaay longer to get close to people than seems the norm. I'm always amazed when people will talk about their "friends". I use the word acquaintance, except for maybe five people. My definition is ~somebody I would call on a Tuesday night to go out and get coffee with~ and that is a tiny group of people. And even for those people, it would have to be a near-emergency for me to call. It's like I'm imposing on them by calling to hang out. Duh-that's exactly what I want them to do to me, so why doesn't it work in reverse?
knorl05 - it seems like you've got it right in your brain, rationally, at least. You'd rather be yourself than anyone else. That's great, and I feel like I get my head screwed on right and feel that way sometimes. But it seems like it doesn't make the anxiety go away, at least not for long.
Apr 2 2008, 12:33 PM
Does anyone else feel like it's simply not going to be possible to get to know people unless it's over a long period of time? Because that's me. It's like, I need so much more than one or two casual social encounters to ever open up to people or be able to think about and get to know them as well? Like, it's a slower process than maybe what it is for others?
Yes, yes I do. It used to infuriate me when AZ Guy would ask me why, after having a pleasant conversation with someone I just met, why didn't I invite the person out for coffee right then and there. I told him it didn't feel right, that it was rushing things, which he did not understand at all. I've had jobs where people are surprised that I have a sense of humor because for the first six months or so I'm quiet and don't feel comfortable talking to people.
And your entire post sounds like quite a few Saturday nights I've had.
Obelix, I have very few people I refer to as friends too, most of the people I know I call acquaintances. And yes, it would have to be a dire emergency before I contact them. I know they don't hate me, that if I ask them to hang out or send them an email they aren't going to laugh in my face and they will respond nicely. Yet I'm still afraid they aren't going to do so.
Knorl, you asked about relocating and I really wish I had a better answer for you. It hasn't been too easy for me, but that might have more to do with being shy, moving to an area where it felt more like AZ Guy's turf than mine, and taking a job that canceled out chances to socialize than the actual move itself. The people I seem to get along with best are, like me, Midwesterners who moved here or people who are complete and utter dorks (sometimes both). My guess is it has more to do with the people I meet than anything in particular, I'm sure there are other people out there who have the same interests as me, they just don't seem to cross my path.
Apr 2 2008, 05:16 PM
I totally agree . It's so difficult to me to take a friend ship from work buddy etc.. to a real friend ship out side of the work environment.
Does anybody find it difficult to be friends with guys who have partner(wife,girlfriends etc..). I know a bunch of guys that I would love to hang out with just as friends but the fact they have wife's or girlfriends makes it a lot harder. Normally we end up hanging out in big groups are going out as couples but never solo. I just feel it's odd how it works out.
I find that most of my anxiety about social groups goes along with big groups of people. If it's me and you and maybe J alone at a table it's a lost easier. Then siting around that same table with a whole group of people I become a wall flower.
Apr 3 2008, 03:15 PM
QUOTE(lilacwine13 @ Apr 2 2008, 07:50 PM)
I've had jobs where people are surprised that I have a sense of humor because for the first six months or so I'm quiet and don't feel comfortable talking to people.
I get this
the time! people either dont get to know me at all because im shy at first, or they do and are suprised when they realise i have a personality. Ive lost count of the amount of times ive heard "omg youre actually funny". I still havent decided whether that should be taken as a compliment or an insult
Does anyone else think that this all stems from being particularly empathetic and sensitive? I_am_jan mentioned it and ive thought it for a while. Im quite good at telling what people are thinking whereas other people either dont seem to notice as much or just dont care. I think in some cases its the latter but usually they just seem oblivious. Im not sure if youll understand the kind of thing im talking about- either because its just me or because Im finding it hard to explain what i mean :/
I find small groups best. Usually in large groups I just sit and dont say a word and if its just me and one other person it can be awkward as i struggle to make small talk. Obviously it depends who im with but thats how it generally goes
I love having close comfortable friends but find it such a hugeee effort to make them and get to that point
gah.we should all relocate to the same city and awkwardly dork about together
Apr 4 2008, 11:55 AM
I'm all for relocating.
I wouldn't say I'm more empathetic or sensitive, than the average person, although I do worry more about making people uncomfortable. In fact, I can be pretty bad at picking up things from other people, and some of my first impressions turn out to be false. I think one of the reasons I studied anthropology was to understand others better (it didn't work, but I still love the field).
For me, I have a weird, sarcastic sense of humor that can go flying above the heads of some people. I make references to shows that have cult followings and aren't really mainstream, so I usually like to gauge people's reactions first before I say anything.
I do better in small groups too, large groups intimidate me. Also, it seems like most of them end up being dominated by a couple people anyway, so chances are I'm never going to get a word in edgewise.
Apr 5 2008, 12:35 AM
Yeah, I definitely am usually sensitive to other peoples' behavior, reactions, generally observant of other peoples' behavior. Emotionally tuned-in to people and myself. It's weird. I also think I pay too much attention to other peoples' behavior. I think I do it because my mom was unstable. Growing up with her I really had to pay attention to what was going on for myself because she really didn't know what was going on and couldn't interpret the world in a logical way, she was a borderline/schizophrenic/etc. I also had to make sure I understood what she was going to do, I can to this day predict exactly what she will say or do. I also think I have a mindset, or a pattern. Like I expect to not have comfortable relationships with people, because I never have. I expect to not fit in. I go in, feeling like I don't belong. I've tried to break free of this mindset, be in the moment - present - try to catch a pattern when it comes up and then break free from it - I've never quite been successful. I am simply just not that comfortable hanging out with most other people, I'd just soon be alone. Unless every few years when it's a sexual partner usually for a bit of a relationship for a while. Also, like someone here mentioned previously, I too feel sometimes I may be keeping involvement in things away. Don't really know what to make of it. Not even sure why I'm so curious about it. I guess just because of the discomfort it does cause, and also just because something does seem ?______? when I go days without speaking to anyone or I feel like I feel more comfortable by myself the great majority of the time. I just feel as though maybe I really should be making some connections of some sort, but ? anyway, rant out.
Apr 5 2008, 01:10 AM
i am jan: was she borderline or schizophrenic? they are two different diagnosis you know. it's interesting to learn about and reflect on our family patterns to recognize what we have inadvertently picked up on through the years. to realize it's not our fault, then make serious efforts to change that which we want to change about ourselves. even though there are times i want to just give up or give in and be like,
oh well this is me
.. the more powerful drive within me is to continuously challenge the things i see and understand to get to a deeper and more accurate truth.
i guess what i'm saying is yes it feels more comfortable for me to be a recluse, but it's not really what i want and i know that. so what i must do, is keep putting myself in situations that challenge me to step outside of my comfort zone to allow me to grow and experience a more diverse and meaningful life. i think the ultimate challenge for any one of us, socially withdrawn or not, is to know ourselves. i find exposing myself to many different types of people places and things allows me the freedom and ability to gain deeper insight into myself and those around me. and that is more important to me than to live in a safe little bubble. other inepties feel me on this?
Apr 7 2008, 09:07 PM
Went to the mall (YIKES! social dork sensory overload) with the other bridesmaids and the bride to find shoes (which is going terribly by the way). And we came upon a few people we know from church. They're all really close to these people but I'm not, so i felt totally out of place and kinda backed off into my own lil space and proceeded texting my husband. It was very awkward - and I was so ready to go. I truly felt weird and frumpy around them. Just extremely uncomfortable. I'm ecstatic for my friends, I will be glad when this wedding stuff is over! Not my scene at all!
Apr 12 2008, 09:42 AM
kon: malls suck! total sensory overload. goodness even just thinking about it is making me all clamy. it's fun sometimes to get into what makes friends happy, is true. but i find it's always nice to get a break from the cheeriness that marriages seem to bring, perhaps because i've not really ever gotten into the idea. humph. although. lately i've been considering to get married for the experience.. seems like it could be fun. either way.
lovehugskisses to my fellow socially inepties.
Apr 14 2008, 12:18 AM
Hi - I'm new
I've been pretty messed up over the years. But I'm still here. I'm still trying. I've said stuff I shouldn't have, by talking about shtuff with the oh-so very wrong people - or so I think. I keep sabotaging myself, expecting the worst. But the worst has yet to happen.
Will it? I dunno!
I want to be happy, & I believe it's possible. I've been working on deprogramming negativity and wiring in a "happy mode" with Yoga & meditation. These are two AMAZING ways to
reclaiming control over the thoughts that enter your head, that by the way, we do this cuz most likely it's been programmed into us by our parents, friends etc. Daily mental exercise in resting my mind has helped me not only recognize, but also send away nasty negative thoughts & has allowed me to, eventually, ease into more positive social situations. Even just today I said something to a possible wrong person - & I am fighting off the "Why oh why" rumination as I write this. I trusted myself & them at the time. Why is it keeping me up so late?? It's tough!
Some say that positive minds positively affect health, prosperity. Negative thinking invites disaster. It alters your "vibration". People can sense it & will subconsciously react to it. I believe that it's my vibes that inevitably invite the very negative situations I fear. I've read that as we subconsciously vibe to the great grand universe about our fears, the universe, I believe, thinks this ruminating is us asking for a chance to stare those fears down because we're not sending any "hope" into the stratosphere. I've decided that for myself, in my life, fear & negativity isn't necessary. Ever since I said -" Hey Universe! I'm gonna start hoping for the best... okay? *cheesy fake smile* Thanks Universe!!" - It's been working. No kidding! And I read a book called "Cunt (A Declaration of Independence)" by Ingrid Muscio that discussed this stuff - she said it would take about 3 years to reprogram yourself to be happier, if you start today.
So yeah, I like to stay home - I think if you find other peoples energy is negative, & draining you of your joy - be okay with staying home. That's okay. Them's the wrong folks cuz they don't make you happy. It's not you - it's not them! You just simply don't mesh. All you need in the limbo between perfect pals is your self, a hobby/book/chore/etc. & you'll find your center. It may lead you to people who are more like you too!! It may also lead to less social outings buuuuuuuuut I don't feel the need to go out as much any more. I'm okay with that. But I do want to be able to... fit in, you know? But I know I have to stop expecting the worst cuz it's
making me happy. Right now I'm in limbo - I negatively ruminate & rebuff with - "no no no! Why would anyone do that?" & "People aren't that bad!!" & also, "I'M not that bad! Jeeeeeeeeze!!!!!"
"Hush BRAIN!!"
I'm just trying to convince myself, every single day, that the world is not such a scary place & that I don't suck & it's been working. I've been making more girl friends. Now I'm starting to discover we all have so so so much in common. I'm glad I found this thread. Yay!
If you don't agree, that's fine. I hope no one thinks that I'm like - "hey answers! Answers!! Do what I say!!!" This is just me and the way I see it. I wanted to share some hope
Thanks for reading my very long post
Apr 14 2008, 07:33 PM
Um. hi?
I had a socially inept freakout at work. I was standing between two seated coworkers, helping them with a computer problem. One complimented my shirt, and then it turned into a discussion of whether there was a tiny pink stripe, or if the red had just run. So there I was, in between two people staring very intently at me, scrutinizing my shirt.
I ran away. Literally. I stammered out something about not being ok with people being so close to me and I ran to the other side of the room. One coworker said "oh, that's right, you can't deal with people touching you". I finished explaining the computer thing from the far side of the room. Luckily, these are the two people who I spend 8 hours a day with, and they understand how I am. I was glad they just took it in stride.
But as I was doing it, I was thinking about how most people in the world could just stand there calmly and discuss a freaking striped shirt!
In better news, I stood up for myself like a bad-ass in a meeting, and afterwards held my own in a chat with the president of the company. I suppose I should be grateful that my social ineptness roars its ugly head at odd times, and takes a convenient nap at other times.
Apr 14 2008, 09:15 PM
Obelix2 - I don't like it so much when people get close to me, and I tend to wonder "why that is?" a little too much. But I notice, also, that other people are perfectly fine with standing up and saying "Woh!" without worrying about offending people. Then they walk about & act normal because they don't feel bad about it & no one blinks an eye. Most people can simply accept themselves but it simply radiates when you're seemingly sorry for what you did. I'd say people see it subconsciously as having the upper hand. So I wonder if I'm right, are
were worried about offending
Apr 15 2008, 12:02 AM
ladymiss: welcome! not only to this thread but also to bust. we're glad to have you.
i really identify with the things you've said, i thank you for your input. i guess i'm to the point in my life that i'd rather accept myself as i am, than try to alter myself to be "happy" or make others happy. this whole 'fitting in' idea with which we all seem to wrestle.. i've noticed for myself it is simply the
i get from social situations where i dont
like i belong. obvious. i realize. but the point i'm making is that it's not that we dont necessarily belong, as it is the
we get from those situations. i mean, does anyone really ever belong, and if they do, do you think they all feel like they do as well? i think that's why so many people are afraid to step outside of the norm, why they conform, why they act normal, why they do what they're supposed to do... out of fear of their fears. that deep down they feel like a dork weirdo outsider too. they (just choose to) or can pretend like they are normal though. but then shit, maybe they just are. and ghad, how boring can that be? normalcy is not the ideal in my humble opinion. i think what we should be striving more for is not only self-acceptance but also self-empowerment. i too am not trying to say i have the answers.. how boring would that be if i had life figured out.. but this is what i think about all that thus far.
obe: is cool they took it in stride. i used to be like that too... did not like people touching me or paying me too much attention that i didnt feel i could control. i think when you're around people who understand/accept/respect your quirks it makes it that much easier to just be yourself. kudos on the bad-assness at the mtg!!
Apr 16 2008, 10:53 PM
Ladymiss: Welcome. I really felt the stuff you said. I've thought about that negative vibrations thing too, realized that that's what goes on with me too. And yes, come the same conclusion however, that, if something doesn't feel right, don't do it. I find joy in my life in many moments, it's simply a struggle to get rid of negative thinking and relax. Your post was a total inspiration.
I'd like to share this poem I found recently:
There I stand,
Alone in the cold.
There is a storm
Constantly raging.
A tall brick wall
Stands in front of me.
On the other side,
I can hear the laughter
And see the light.
In my hand
I hold the invitation.
The door is within my reach.
But my feet won't move.
I am scared.
Will they understand who I am?
Not the act I perform around them,
But the real me?
Then I think,
Do I want them to?
~Kate Engelbert, 15
Apr 17 2008, 07:53 AM
*sticks head in*
very cool poem...
Apr 19 2008, 09:46 PM
I'll just go ahead and be a thread hog. I went to drag queen bingo! It was a pretty big step for me - I knew my friends would be there, but instead of carpooling with them, I decided to go by myself. I have this horrible fear of *not knowing something*, and just the idea of walking in the door and not knowing how much it would cost or how many bingo things I needed upset me. But I did it. And just to push my luck, during a break I walked all the way across the room to an acquaintance who I have a huge platonic crush on. She hugged me, and I rolled with it. Yay!
But it was too hot in there, and the music was so freaking loud. I left halfway through, but didn't beat myself up about not being social for another few hours. Baby steps.
And I agree, malls are horrible, or any big box stores. I get into mall-mode if I'm forced to go there. I walk incredibly fast and zig-zag through the crowds so I can get my item and leave. On the rare occasions when I'm there with somebody else, I get agitated by the slower speed. I had been shopping with my boyfriend a few times when he asked me why I ran away from him as soon as we entered a store; he was taking it personally. I hadn't realized it, so now I stay with the person instead of doing loops at my speed and finding my shopping partner occasionally.
How are the weekends going?
Apr 19 2008, 10:09 PM
I like that poem.
My weekend is...well, I got into a huge fight today with AZ Guy because he couldn't understand why I was depressed about most of the stuff that's been going on recently. I pretty much hung up on him because I didn't have the energy or the patience to put up with his attitude. Then I called my parents and went out for coffee. So yeah, today has sucked.
Yesterday, though, I went to the opera. That was fun, I sat next to an old woman who knew a lot about it and she was pretty cool about me being a newbie to it, explained a few things to me and talked about some of the performances she'd been to. It was also nice to get all dressed up and do something completely different for a change. There was a question-and-answer session after the performance, but I didn't stay for it because I was too tired and I wanted to go home. It would have been nice to go with someone, but that's another problem I have, nobody I know wants to go to the opera or stuff like that.
Earlier this week I ran into an acquaintance at a brew pub, and we talked a little bit. He said if I wanted to hang out with him sometime, I could and well, I'd kinda like to. I just don't know what to say. This is the part of the getting-to-know-someone phase that I really suck at--I know who they are, know a little bit about them, but not enough to know what to ask about next.
For some reason, malls don't bother me that much, but I seldom go into them, usually it's to remind myself why I avoid them in the first place. Obelix's way of maneuvering through the mall (or big box store) sounds an awful lot like mine--move quickly and get out.
Apr 20 2008, 11:52 PM
I just moved home, and I've been really hesitant to keep in contact with my roommates. I've e-mailed them a little but not nearly as much as I'd like to. I wonder if my hesitating to keep in contact with people is some kind of really, really watered down version of the suicidal impulse. Just the general suspicion that they'd be better off without me in their lives, even if they don't think so. This sounds really self-pitying, and I certainly don't consciously think this way, but there is definitely a lack of confidence on my part.
Apr 28 2008, 06:39 PM
Gypsymoth - have you tried contacting any old friends yet?
Gah! I'm so nervous. Some coworkers have started a monthly dinner, and it's at my house on Friday night. I'm scared that
-the food will suck (silly, I'm an excellent cook, and the homemade bread will win them over)
-they'll think the house is trashy (it's smaller than the other houses we've been to for dinner, but we're not frivolous with money)
-there will be no conversation (eek!)
-everybody will scarf down the food and hightail it out of here ASAP
-the lack of activities will be apparent, and we'll all sit around blinking at each other (the other hosts had ping-pong or pool in their basement)
I think that I might bring the board games out, in case somebody is into that. I won't suggest it - I'm afraid of forcing people to stick around when they want to run away out of boredom. I want it to be over.
May 4 2008, 11:06 AM
Oh boy talk about socially inept
The last few weeks have been well stressful. Me and Bf went out to eat last Friday with a close friend of his. We had a good time end up standing around the parking lot talking for a long time. The next day I get home from work and my BF tells me he got fired
great just what I need. Don't get me wrong I love my BF but there are times when want alone time for myself. This past week has been really busy at work and Monday was friends b-day dinner ( same friend as above). So Monday after a long day at work I found my self siting around a table with a group of people I really didn't know. Every body was nice but once again that over welling feeling that they where all judging me came over me. After dinner we stood around outside and talked . Well I should say they talked I stood there and nodded my head. At the end as the group was breakng up one of the girls said to me "you don't talk much" at which time everybody ( and yes I mean everybody) turned to stare at me
. Bf then chimed in they all know her she always like that
. I don't know wants wrong with me . It's like I need time to warm up to people. Once I have been one on one are with some one a couple of times and I can make small talk easily . Stick me with a group of people I don't know and I close up . No matter how hard I try I just can't open up to people.
Please excuse any spelling errors 12:49 is kind of late for me
May 6 2008, 11:45 PM
lunia: boo. i know that feeling. people used to say to me i was too uptight, too quiet, too this that or the other. bs. i am who i am. (popeye said it best). you should have turned to her and been like, "yeah well you talk too much". ahh. that woulda been funny. but then they prolly woulda seen you as the snotty quiet girl.
know what i hate? why they even care. you know? why did she even feel the need to bring attention to the fact that you didnt have much to say. annoying. as far as i'm concerned, if i have something to say, i'll say it. yes it can take a minute for me to open up to some people, but other times i'm just unimpressed with the conversation and dont want to partake. you know? it's like, how do you interject when the subject matter isnt your cup of tea anyway. "It's better to keep quiet and be thought an idiot then to open one's mouth and prove it." well not that we're idiots, but you know...
May 7 2008, 07:20 AM
truthfully lunia,
it's almost like that girl was feeling uncomfortable in the situation or herself even, and so directed the attention away from herself & to you maybe?
just a thought. I sometimes like to think that deep down, a lot more people are insecure (rather than callous & unfeeling & thinking) than they let on and it helps me restrain my inner choke-hold urges.
going to a professional graduation event tonight, one of the mr's co workers at some university;
stressed, bc one of the other spouses is almost openly hostile in her bitch attitude (to the mr too!) and I always feel like the female soldiers (she is active duty & works w/ all of them) look at me like
'oh, you're JUST a
' and it makes me crazi!! (altho strangely enough, several of my closest friends are former active duty women now- I guess it's just while they are In they act like that? go figure)
anyway, I'm giving up trying to be 'one of them' and will focus on just not talking at all if I can and making an early escape. the mr will probably agree to that too, unless there is a bar involved in which case I will be the dd and hating life all the more tonight. I'll be socially inept, insecure AND totally sober to endure it all the more clearly. hatin' life indeed.
and on a different side: I have to break up w a friend. I wrote about her in the Letter's thread yesterday and know now it's the best thing to do or she'll keep calling & calling and maybe even heven help us- show up at the house unexpected.
I might be socially inept and even occassionally lonely, but I'm a big one for cutting dead emotional weight. the big thing is: she hasn't actually Done anything to warrant it. not sinse the x-mas mess that is. (which was the final straw,but that was 5 months ago & not exactly current to use NOW) so I don't know what to say beyond ' I've outgrown you. you're at a different place in your life that I can't relate to anymore & I just think we're better off going ....' - no, that doesn't sound right either.
- help!
May 9 2008, 09:14 AM
" I don't make friends easily & I don't like people I don't know."
-Dr Hahn on Grey's last night
I heard those lines & thought ' she's socially inept too!
beyond continuing to dodge future ex friend, my former very bff/now regular (?) friend sent me a snail mail greeting card yesterday: it was a birthday card of 2 old women, riding in the backseat of a convertible w/ cool sunglasses & laughing their asses off and she wrote ' I know it's not your birthday but I hope this is us when we're 70.' very sweet, and yes, very much Us, but I'm still a little freaked out. it's like the 3rd type of card she's sent in the last few months, yet we hardly comminucate beyond occassional emails. like she's sending mixed messages or something and after the way she hurt me before, honestly, all it made me was
I miss the friendship we had before bc I've still never clicked w/ anyone else even near as close as her.
on a lighter note: the grad the other night wasn't so bad. short ceremony (preceded by an akward reception where I stood slightly behind the mr & pretended to be facinated by the looping slide show featured) and then dinner out a sea food place. one of the mr's friend's fanagled it that he & his wife (preveriously mentioned female soldier) & the mr & I sat at a booth just the 4 of us across from the bigger party sinse there wasn't room there, and it wasn't terrible. one of the other guys is a real snoooooze & his wife is super hyper & there are rumors of extracuricular joint marital activities and eww they're having a party this weekend that we got invited to. when the wife put my mr on the spot about going he said ' we'll try to make it' and I wanted to pound him!
it's " I'm
sorry but we already have plans." - fake sincere smile. DUH.
I think the next work-type party I will let the mr go to alone & that doesn't happen again.
le sigh.
May 11 2008, 07:58 AM
My boyfriend is leaving in a week to go overseas. He'll be gone for a month! I don't know what I'm going to do because I'm shy and socially awkward. Whenever something is going on, we know about it because someone called him, not me.
May 12 2008, 05:55 AM
do you mean overseas like in the military?
I'd say you have a month of 'freedom' to focus on yourself and things YOU enjoy.
be kind, be indulgent,creative, build or plant or grow or paint or read or something.
30 days on your own doesn't have to be a curse.
May 12 2008, 08:39 AM
He's an art student and he's going to the UK for some painting and photography credits. When he's all done I'm meeting him so we can travel Europe for a couple weeks.
At first I was kind of excited to have a month to myself, but I lost my job last week and I'm already bored and he hasn't even left yet! I really do want to do creative things (and exercise) during the day, and I'll be finishing the semester this week. I just wish I was more social so I'd have something to do at night. I feel like without him I'm going to be so out of the loop.
I know all I'd probably have to do is pick up the phone and call someone I'm fairly comfortable talking to, but when i imagine it in my head the person always says there's no parties or shows going on that night and me feeling like a desperate loser.
May 16 2008, 09:15 AM
ht: meeting him in europe?
I'd be so excited by that I'd concentrate on getting ready for that alone, guide books, websites, all of it.
of course, I'm really nerdy in that regard & tend to be uber "prepared" only to disregard most of the 'invaluable travel tips' I spent so much energy gleaning once I arrive & am in the midst of the local.
where specifically are you going?
I LOVE europe and would give a great deal to go back again so
post about it when you return?
till then I hope you stay busy while on your own & the time sails by.
xbff is starting to flake. I knew this would happen, don't know why I'm still hurt, altho not suprised.
she's starting to write things in emails that I know to be blantantly un-true, and mean, hurtful little things, kind of spiteful. maybe she's jealous bc in a lot of ways my life is going so well and there's some uncertainty in her, I don't know. maybe she's just really seriously disturbed (ok I already knew that) and I need to back away for good?
why why why.
and why can't my other friends, the ones I am really genuinely close with, not live in CO & NA & timbuctu while I am still lonely
anna k
May 17 2008, 09:44 PM
I felt lonely tonight. I went to a bar to hear live literary readings, but felt bored. I couldn't find anyone to talk to, and I just half-listened to the stories and drifted off in my mind.
Luckily I keep busy during the day with my job and talking to my co-workers. I just went out tonight so I wouldn't feel bored and lonely.
May 23 2008, 11:23 AM
Just wanted to say hey to everyone. Letcha know I still think about ya'll...and us...and the whole social sitch. Still come in and read all the interesting posts, just haven't had much to add lately. Nothing has changed on the social front...lately I've had my nose in book after book...I have gone out a couple times solo (I'll add here that it's great to find other gals in this thread are doing that too...it's inspirational to me, and I imagine to everyone else as well). Last Friday I treated myself to a viewing of "BabyMama" down at the local moviehouse, then bought myself a drink at the local music club afterward. Just sort of stood around and listened to the bands play. I sometimes wonder if people think I'm like, an escort or something. Looking for someone to go home with. I get these strange looks. Some of the looks seem like people pity me a little. Ha ha, which sounds funny to say. I'll admit, it is maybe a little "quirky" to go out alone to a rock show. Good quirky though, I guess
~ But not pitiful though. I mean, if you enjoy your own company, and you don't have anyone to hang with that you feel comfy with, that doesn't mean you have to stay home and miss out on the action, right? Go girl...go just as you are. Hope everybody has a great weekend. *smoochies*
May 27 2008, 09:26 AM
Flowergirl, there is no such thing as a "friendly cities." You don't have to worry about having trouble with people if you choose the right friends. I think every city has good and bad people. You will run across them all just choose wisely. I think that goes for anywhere in the world not just the US. I live in Los Angeles. Yeah we have crazy people out here compared to where I use to live (Baltimore, MD). I've met outgoing friendly people out here, however, I was also introduced to alot of ethnic backgrounds which made it more exciting. I'm a very open person and there is alot more to do in Los Angeles which makes it fun. It really depends on what type of person you are. If you like the city life, move to a big city. If you like it quite, move to a rural area or somewhere just out of the city. Skys the limit.
May 28 2008, 05:39 PM
Havent got much to input at the mo' but like i_am_jan I just wanted to say Hi
and get back on in here...
I was a virtual recluse for an entire month due to exams (arghh to say the least). Not being able to go out made me want to go places and do things, even though Id usually be more than happy at home. So since then Ive explored the city abit (which i really enjoyed) and made more of an effort to get out there. Ill probably be worn out with it all soon and return to my little cucoon...
I cant remember who mentioned it but I remember in my catch-up readathon someone said theyd gone to a bar by themselves. Id love to be able to do that! I dont mind (perhaps even prefer) going most places alone but I think Id feel way too self conscious strolling into such a social place by myself. If Im alone I like to be doing something or I end up feeling like all eyes are on me
Foreseeable plans- visiting someone across the country this weekend (bf-esque figure to sort 'issues' so probably not as fun as it sounds), meeting old school friends next week, more city exploring, end of term drinks, festival in august
, and im hoping for a bit of a holiday too if i can find the right place for the right price...nothing particularly exciting
Oh, and I think living just outside of a city is best personally. I like the way its not as busy as the city but not so rural that the whole town knows each others business. Plus I have both the city and the countryside at arms reach
People who comment on my quietness annoy the hell outta me. as if i didnt know already. People who talk loudly and constantly grate on me but you dont see me butting in to comment what a loud mouth they are. Its hard to reply to when someone says something like that too. Like what am I supposed to say :/...'yeah, i know'/'ooh thanks for pointing that out'/'get lost' ?? anywho....
hope youre all doing well x
May 29 2008, 06:25 AM
ditto on having been mia for awhile.
my family has been busy ( the mr is in & out a LOT latey & it's all I can do to keep up w. his coming & goings ) & I admit it- the mr & I set up a myspace page & we both totally got sucked into it.
it's good in the regard that it's actually gotten
to be more social- he's reaching out to old friends there that he won't call when we go back & visit his folks, and it's pretty cool to find old friends of mine from my homestate who have been looking for me all these years too.
- that's been enough for me, matched w/ a quietness in my own soul. a sort of real contentment and need to slow down & enjoy all the good things in my life.
it's so easy to loose focus of what's right in front of us that is good and uncomplicated.
frecklette: she had a youth group trip to dc last weekend, and the first night she called us telling us how horrible and snobby all the other girl's were; she chose to be by herself rather than follow around on their Fake coat tails, knowing she wasn't wanted.
she even = cried= on the phone to the mr.
the mr & I were LIVID at how bitchy they were being to her, but also told her she needed to try a little harder, that by ostracizing herself she was only compounding the situation and to rise above things and not let them see it was bothering her. (sigh)
so while that made her mad, the next time she called she was doing better and having a much better time and there are pictures to prove it. (tho w/out them I'm not so sure I'd believe it otherwise)
it just so freaked us out to know that she was wandering ALONE in the big dc hotel.. anything could have happened.
however, this is proof that being socially inept is apparently, genetic.
May 29 2008, 12:27 PM
Hi, Busties! It's nice to see everybody stopping back in here.
I recently realized just how isolated I'd become. Since I moved in with the boy, I have done almost no socializing, and the one close female friend I have in town has almost completely dropped out of my life. I really miss her. So I finally got my butt on Facebook, and I'm now up to 18 "friends" in 24 hours. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to make an effort to go out and interact with people.
It's just so easy to stay at home and do nothing. If I had to choose between 1)staying home and doing nothing or 2)going out on one occasion, I'd choose home. But when I look at it from a larger perspective, and had to choose between a month of 1)staying home and doing nothing or 2)going out once a week, I would definitely choose going out. So I need to force myself to go out on individual occasions so at the end of the month I can feel good about not being a hermit the entire month.
I so feel for frecklette. I can see myself as that teenager who isolates herself instead of putting up with snobby girls. It hurts just to think of being back there. Why are girls so mean to each other?
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text:
9-11 November 2006
The Rothermere American Institute, University of Oxford, invites single paper and panel proposals for a three-day interdisciplinary conference examining the subject of American national identity in the twenty-first century. The RAI welcomes proposals analyzing the historical, social, political, literary, and cultural meanings of the American nation.
After 9/11, there was an upsurge of patriotism among the American people but five years on, has this strong sense of united nationhood proved resilient? Can a national identity fuelled by fear and anger be sustained? Or can a more positive patriotism be fostered? Alongside the impact of 9/11, numerous changes in international relations and global affairs have transformed the ways in which the United States understands itself and in how others perceive it. From the collapse of the Soviet Union and the rise of China, to the spread of digital information technology and global corporatism, to the election of Bush and the invasion of Iraq, the pace of change is rapid and seemingly uncontrollable. Do the founding principles of the United States still translate into a workable creed for the globalized twenty-first century? Or have the pressures of multiculturalism, multilingualism, and transnationalism changed the shape and direction of the country beyond recognition?
This conference will engage with the meaning of the United States of America today and in the past, as a nation and as an international presence. It allows for interdisciplinary approaches, with the historical, political, cultural, and literary significance of American-ness all contributing to the constructions of the identity of the nation and its people.
Topics to be addressed might include one or more of the following themes:
• American patriotism post 9/11
• A divided nation? Red states and blue states
• The American Empire
• Hyphenated American identities
• The construction of citizenship
• 21st century immigration
• The quest for a distinctive American literature
• American civic values, past and present
• American exceptionalism
• America in the Global Age: unilateralism v. multilateralism
• The impact of transnationalism on US literary studies
• Legacies of the Civil Rights Movement
• A nation under God? American evangelicalism in the 21st century
• The influence of the media, the Internet and other new technologies
Please send one-page proposals with a brief CV by Friday 16 June 2006 to:
Cheryl Hudson, Assistant Director, Academic Programme, Rothermere American Institute, University of Oxford, 1A South Parks Road, Oxford, OX1 3TG, or e-mail email@example.com

subset: commoncrawl


text:
|RC sports teams ready to roll
Some squads begin practice on August 18
As the summer months draw to a close, Rancho Cotate High School's fall sports offer some students a smooth transition back into the school year. RCHS has seven athletic programs going during the fall, making it easy for any student to get involved.
Girls tennis, golf, volleyball and soccer teams start practicing for their seasons Aug. 18, along with co-ed cross country and boys soccer.
Rancho Cotate saw a number of talented athletes graduate in 2014, leaving some of the teams with young but promising rosters this season.
Girls varsity volleyball will begin this season with sophomore Kaela Velles and junior Patty Ward in the starting line up. Their first game is Aug. 26 against Terra Linda and should provide fans with a preview of what this year's squad is capable of by the time the North Bay League competition rolls around.
The boys' soccer team also features a young and rejuvenated team, so don't miss their first home game Aug. 26 at 6 p.m. against El Molino of Forestville. Dates for cross country and girls soccer will be announced soon.
Football practice kicks off Aug.11, with the Cougars' first game Sept. 5 at Alhambra High School in Martinez. Rancho Cotate last year defeated Alhambra 21-14 in the season opener. Rancho Cotate Athletic Director Henri Sarlatte feels the Cougars will bounce back from last year's 6-5 season, which ended with a 32-10 loss to Windsor in the opening round of the North Coast Section Div. II playoffs.
"It's going to be a competitive North Bay League, but we'll definitely be good," Sarlatte said.
Sarlatte has headed the athletics department at Rancho for eight years now, carrying on the legacy of his father, who served as AD from 1984-1999. Before his time at RCHS, he gained experience as intern athletic director at Natomas High School in Sacramento. He's also coached football, track, and basketball.
Over the last decade Rancho has earned a reputation for having one of the finest high school athletics programs in the county. The overwhelming community involvement RCHS sports receive is what separates them from other schools, according to Sarlatte.
"Everyone wants to think their school runs the best program, but that's not necessarily how it works," he said. "I'm very proud of the community and especially the parents for all the support we've received."
The success of the Rancho Cotate sports program relies heavily on team parents and support from local businesses he explained.
Despite the budget cuts to extracurricular activities that schools are facing nationwide, the Cougars have been lucky enough to offer their students three new sports in the last few years, making it a very exciting time in Rancho athletics.
The addition of a girls wrestling team has produced local legends such as Kayla Aggio and Vicky Espinoza. More standouts are expected to appear in a different sport this spring, as lacrosse is finally sanctioned by the state's high school sports governing body, the California Interscholastic Federation, for both girls and boys.
After years of anticipation, Rancho Cotate, along with Petaluma and Casa Grande, will be the first public schools in Sonoma County to offer lacrosse. The Rancho Cotate lacrosse club has agreed to help get the program started, and a coaching staff is currently being reviewed. The schools mentioned above will form a league with Cardinal Newman and Sonoma Academy, and most likely will compete against schools from Marin County.
Members of the Rancho Cotate volleyball and football teams have been conditioning all summer, but other fall sports practice on a voluntary basis. During this time, the school rents out its facilities to club teams, which are usually comprised of their own varsity athletes looking to stay in shape. Open gyms have also attracted wrestlers and basketball players from the surrounding area to prepare themselves for the winter. The offseason routines of all high school athletes are now facing a time crunch however, as the first day of school approaches them like it does every year…too soon.


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iRhythms A-9800 Passive Noise Reducing Ear Bud Headphones
Passive noise reducing ear bud headphones for iPod, white with acrylic finish, 3 sets of custom fit ear sleeves, 1 set of foam fitted ear sleeves, in-line volume control, travel pouch, 9mm neodymium drivers
ZERO AUDIO-ear stereo headphone carbo Tenore ZH-DX200-CT
"Saw some glowing reviews for these, and thought that for under $40 on Amazon it's well-worth finding out what the fuss was about - in short: well worth it! Set-up: LG G4 > USB Audio Player Pro (FLAC; ALAC) > Audioquest Dragonfly Black 1.5 Packaging/bundling They arrived from Amazon in a plastic box, but come with a neat cloth carrying pouch which is super handy - I use..." --Mightygrey
Zero Audio ZH-BX300
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text:
What is in this article?:
- Timely rains help Okla. cotton
- Late start
Oklahoma cotton got off to a late start with a cool spring, but timely rains have made a decent yield possible, if those rains continue.
More About:
JOHN SCHIEBER, Union City, Oklahoma, farmer is sorry he didn't plant more cotton this year. Before planting season, he, along with many cotton growers, believed continued drought would prevent another good cotton crop. A wet, temperate summer now causes Schieber to wish he had planted more cotton.
Late start
"My cotton came up in scattered bunches," he says. "It took awhile before the rows were filled in and all of the cotton was growing and in good shape."
Schieber is seeing pigweed in his fields with resistance to Roundup. "I can look over my fields and see several huge pigweed plants growing where I applied Roundup earlier in the year," he says. "Banvel and Roundup will take care of the resistance problem now, but I have to apply the mixture of herbicides at the right time."
Schieber likes to grow cotton in rotation with corn in no-till fields. "The cotton benefits from fertilizer applied earlier to the corn crop grown before the cotton. My corn and soybeans are growing well now."
He watered cotton from center pivot systems twice this year, applying one inch of water each time. Timely rain helped to fill in needed moisture.
Schieber also owns a module-building cotton harvester he uses to harvest his own crop as well as for other farmers around the state.
"We could see some two-and-a-half bale per acre cotton this fall," he said. "Maybe even some three-bale cotton."
Randy Boman, Oklahoma State University cotton research director, says "most of the 2013 Oklahoma cotton crop is blooming or nearly blooming. Where irrigation is adequate, fields are progressing well, he says in the Cotton Comments online report.
Dryland fields planted close to the final planting date of June 20 — to qualify for insurance — are a little late this year. Triple digit temperatures with high winds have returned to the far southwestern corner of the state for the past week, he adds. This has resulted in high crop evapotranspiration and is taking depleting toll what soil moisture is available. The Mesonet precipitation map (available at the Cotton Comments website) indicates although there has been some timely rainfall in July, it will be necessary to obtain additional rainfall soon in order to keep cotton crop progress moving in the right direction.
Farther southwest, Texas A&M University agronomists report conditions remain favorable for crops. Recent rains and temperatures in the high 90s to 100 degrees gave crops a boost during the past few weeks in the Rolling Plains. However, more rain will be needed if daytime highs continue to be near 100 degrees. Cotton plants grew more than a foot in the past week, the report states, and were squaring in some areas. This year's cotton crop will be a little late, but producers were hopeful for a late freeze to let the crop mature.
Also of interest:
Rain may help cotton farmers get through summer
Public cotton breeding fills a gap
Cotton Incorporated, Plant Management Network launch plant growth regulator…


text:
How to Change the Lock Screen, Start Screen and Account Picture in Windows 8
An article by Will No Comments
In this article I'll show you how to change the Lock Screen, Start Screen and Account Picture in Windows 8 CP.
Step 1:
Open you're Charms bar have moving to mouse pointer to lower right hand corner of the screen and click on Settings or press Windows logo key + I
Step 2:
In Charm bar Click on "More PC Settings"
Step 3:
The first Windows that opens up would be "Personalize"
Step 4:
On the right hand side you'll see the options to change the Lock Screen, Start Screen and Account Picture
You can click on the any one of these options to and click on browse to select the picture.
Once you select the picture it will save the setting automatically.
Hope this helps!
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Bob Mionske
|This biography of a living person needs additional citations for verification. (March 2016) (Learn how and when to remove this template message)
Bob Mionske, Interbike 2007
|Personal information
|Full name
|Robert Mionske
August 26, 1962
Evanston, Illinois, United States
|Professional team(s)
|Infobox last updated on
February 5, 2009
Robert ("Bob") Charles Mionske (born August 26, 1962) is a two-time U.S. Olympic racing cyclist (1988 and 1992)[1] and U.S. National Champion (1990). In the 1988 Summer Olympics, held in Seoul, South Korea, he placed fourth in the Individual Road Race. He retired from professional cycling in 1993 and is now an attorney based in Portland, Oregon, with a practice in bicycle law. He wrote Legally Speaking, a national column on bicycle law, between 2002 and 2009, and has also written Bicycling & the Law: Your Rights as a Cyclist, a book on bicycle law published in August 2007. In February, 2009, Mionske began writing Road Rights, a column on bicycle law for Bicycling Magazine.
Early life and education[edit]
Bob Mionske was born August 26, 1962, in Evanston, Illinois. During Mionske's childhood, his family moved to Wisconsin. When Mionske was seventeen, he spent the summer working for his father; at the end of the summer, he bought a new touring bike with his earnings. Mionske subsequently spent countless hours in the saddle of his touring bike, exploring the forests and lakes of Wisconsin. After graduating from Wilmot high school, Mionske enrolled at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, where he continued to ride a bike—an old cruiser—for transportation around campus.
Bob's entry into competitive sports began during his university years, with ski racing. Mionske reports that one day in his Latin class at the University, he noticed that one of his classmates had the shaved legs typical of a bicycle racer. Mionske struck up a conversation about bicycle racing with his classmate, who was an amateur bike racer and worked for Andy Muzi at Yellow Jersey, a bike shop in town. The classmate—Colin O'Brien, who later went on to set the national hour record in 1981, before joining the national team—gave Mionske advice about bicycles and racing.[2]
Cycling career[edit]
Mionske began bicycle racing as a means to improve his fitness training for ski racing. However, he soon discovered that he was better at bicycle racing, and directed his energies towards bike racing from that point on. He began racing for amateur teams beginning in 1986. By 1987, Mionske was racing for Andy Muzi's Yellow Jersey team. In 1988, he tried out for the U.S. Olympic cycling team; his third-place win in the road racing trials garnered Mionske a spot on the U.S. team. Racing for the United States in the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, Korea, Mionske came in a close 4th, achieving the same time as the 3rd-place winner, but losing the bronze medal by a tire's length. His performance at the 1988 Olympics was the best performance by an American cyclist at a "full-participation" Olympics (that is, an Olympics that had not been subject to a boycott) since 1912. In recognition of his achievement, the United States Cycling Federation honored Mionske by designating him as the U.S. Amateur Cyclist of the Year.
Following the 1988 Olympics, Mionske continued to race as an amateur. In 1990, he was the National Road Race Champion, after winning the U.S. National Championships in Albany, New York. On the heels of that victory, Mionske competed as a member of the United States World Championship Team in the UCI Amateur Road World Championships in Utsonomiya, Japan. In 1991, Mionske competed in the Pan-American Games, held in Havana, Cuba, where he placed 6th in the Men's Individual Road Race as a member of the United States Pan-American Championship Team.
The following year, Mionske again tried out for the Olympic team, once more winning a spot on the U.S. Olympic Cycling Team. However, competing at the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, Spain, Mionske was unable to repeat his 1988 performance. Nevertheless, he and teammate Timm Peddie were able to assist their teammate Lance Armstrong to a 14th-place finish.
In 1993, Mionske became a professional racer when the team he was riding for, Team Saturn, transitioned from an amateur to a professional team. Mionske won 8 races during the 1993 racing season; at the end of the 1993 season, Mionske retired from racing, but continued with Team Saturn as Team Director for the 1994 racing season. Mionske then left racing behind, entering law school at Willamette University College of Law.
Legal career[edit]
In 1999, Mionske opened his own law practice, focused exclusively on representing cyclists. Although bicycle law is now an established field within the practice of law, and continues to grow as the popularity of bicycling grows, Mionske pioneered the way as the world's first bike lawyer. With his extensive background in bicycle racing, Mionske has represented amateur racers, bicycle commuters, messengers, and recreational cyclists. In describing the cyclist-centered focus of his practice, Mionske coined the term "bicycle law".
In 2001, Mionske authored the legal analysis section in Bicycle Accident Reconstruction for the Forensic Engineer.
From 2002 to 2009 Mionske wrote the column Legally Speaking for VeloNews on bicycle law. In 2007, Mionske authored the book Bicycling & the Law: Your Rights As A Cyclist. In 2009 Mionske began writing Road Rights, a "Bicycling Magazine" column on bicycle law, and the social and political issues involved.
Mionske is a founding member of the The Bike Law Network, a national network of bicycle accident attorneys.
Bicycling & the Law: Your Rights as a Cyclist[edit]
Mionske's 2007 book Bicycling & the Law is a primer on all facets of U.S. bicycle law as it pertains to the average cyclist, and the first book on the topic written for the average cyclist since The Road Rights and Liabilities of Wheelmen, published in 1895.[citation needed] In The Road Rights and Liabilities of Wheelmen, cyclists were advised of their right to the road, which had been secured in a series of court cases and legislation in the 1880s and 1890s.
Mionske's book advises cyclists on their legal rights developed in the following century. In "Bicycling & the Law," Mionske advanced the argument that cyclists have a legal right to travel (that is, bicycling is protected under Freedom of Movement jurisprudence, in contrast to licensed forms of transportation, such as driving, which are not by right, but by permission only), a theme he first explored in his "Legally Speaking" column. Mionske was the first advocate of cyclists' rights to advance and explore this theory, which has now gained wide acceptance by cyclists and bicycling advocates.
Mionske's book also covers the legal rights and duties of cyclists, as well as how to handle traffic tickets; common bicycle accidents and how to avoid them; what to do if the cyclist is involved in an accident; how cyclists can insure themselves; legal responses to harassment of cyclists; lemon laws and warranties; how to protect against bicycle theft, and contractual issues commonly faced by cyclists.
1986 - The Wood Spoke - Batavus
- 1st, Clairmont 50
- 1st, Iowa City Classic
- 1st, Pepsi Challenge Road Race
- 13th overall, Tour of Belgium
- 6th, Giro di Sicilia, Italy (Best Foreigner's Jersey)
- 1st, Burlington Road Race
- 1st, Snake Alley Criterium
- 1st, Greenlake Criterium
1987 - Yellow Jersey
- 1st, Snake Alley Criterium
- 1st, Muscatine Criterium
- 1st, Holy Hill Road Race, Wisconsin Superweek
- 1st, WJBC Road Race
- 1st, WJBC Criterium
- 1st, Afton Alps Road Race
- 1st, Melon City Criterium
- 1st, Montello Road Race
- 1st, Otto Grunski Criterium
- 1st, Neena Criterium
- 1st, Riverfest Criterium
- 1st, Boiling Springs Road Race
- 1st, Temper Criterium
- 1st, Verona Independence Day Criterium
- Vulcan Tour, 4 Top 5 finishes
- Raleigh Tour, New Zealand, 6 Top 5 finishes
- 1st, Tauranga-Waihi, New Zealand
1988 - Sunkyong-SKC
- Tour of Texas, 5 Top 5 finishes
- Tour of Baja, 4 Top 3 finishes
- 1st, Preakness Road Race, Baltimore, Maryland
- 1st, Giro di San Francisco
- 1st, Palo Alto Criterium
- 1st, Pacientes Road Race
- 1st, Badger State Road Race
- 1st, Bloomington Criterium
- 1st, Danvers Road Race
- 1st, Mercy Springs Road Race
- 2nd, U.S. National Championships, Road Race, Spokane, WA
- United States Olympic Cycling Team
- 4th, Men's Individual Road Race, 1988 Summer Olympics, Seoul, Korea
- United States Cycling Federation
- U.S. Amateur Cyclist of the Year
1989 - Celestial Seasonings
- 1st, Sanger Criterium
- 1st, Snelling Road Race
- 1st, Campus Corner Road Race
- 1st, Tour de Tallahassee Road Race
- 1st, Dubbo Criterium, Australia
- 1st, Grafton Criterium, Australia
- 1st, Raleigh Times Capital City Criterium, Raleigh, North Carolina
- 1st, Stouffer Times Classic Criterium
- 1st, Park City Circuit Race
- 1st, Subaru Criterium, Dallas, Texas
- 1st, Tooheys Grand Prix Criterium, Sidney, Australia
- 3rd overall, Tooheys Grand Prix Criterium
1990 - Yellow Jersey
- 1st, Lake Front Road Race, Wisconsin Superweek, Milwaukee
- 1st, The Great Downer Avenue Bike Race, Wisconsin Superweek, Milwaukee
- National Road Race Champion, U. S. National Championships, Albany, New York
- United States World Championship Team
- UCI Amateur Road World Championships, Utsonomiya, Japan
1991 - Shaklee
- 1st, Alpine Valley Road Race, Wisconsin Superweek, Minneapolis
- United States Pan-American Championship Team
- 6th, Men's Individual Road Race, Pan-American Games, Havana, Cuba
1992 - Saturn
- 1st place team overall, Vuelta Castilla Leon, Spain
- 1st, La Primavera, San Marcos, Texas
- Tour DuPont
- 2nd, Richmond stage
- 4 Top 5 finishes
- 3rd, U. S. National Championships, Road Race, Altoona, Pennsylvania
- United States Olympic Cycling Team
- 75th, Men's Individual Road Race, 1992 Summer Olympics, Barcelona, Spain
1993 - Saturn
- Mountain Bike Champion, Wisconsin State Badger Games
- 1st Capital Concourse Criterium, Wisconsin Superweek, Madison
- Lance Armstrong: "He'll do anything to get your attention off the race."[3]
- Roy Knickman: "He was just a fighter on the bike. Very strong, very powerful. He could fight on the climbs and sprint with the best. Very few people have done that in American cycling." [4]
- Robert Egger: "I loved racing criteriums and time trials; I was Wisconsin state time trial champion a couple times, and raced with another Wisconsinite, Bob Mionske, who competed at the 1988 and 1992 Summer Olympics. He's now a lawyer in Portland. When I first met him he was riding a custom bike built by Mike Appel. He came from a skiing background - crazy, no fear. He didn't know jack about bikes, though. One time we were riding and he didn't realize the gooey stuff on his wheels was from the tubular glue. Another time he complained about his brakes making too much noise; I checked out his calipers and he had worn the pads down to the metal! He was crazy; physically not the strongest, but mentally, the toughest guy I've seen on a bike."[5]
- John Loehner, M.D.: "I had the pleasure (and pain) of racing with and against some incredibly talented people. Armstrong (pre-cancer of course), Julich, Grewal, Steve Larson, Darren Baker, Bart Bowen, the McCormack Brothers, and some big name euro pros - all of which deserve respect in their own right and most for more than one reason. Choosing one is difficult and unfair to many. However, if I have to pin down one rider my vote would have to go to Bob Mionske. We were teammates for a year and we were roommates for a number of the trips as well. His racing career speaks for itself regarding his talent and ability to win in pressure situations. He used psychology as well as his legs to win races and riled up a lot of people doing that. However, his sense of self - knowing who he was, weaknesses and strengths, tenacity, willingness to fulfill any role to succeed, and no BS attitude was among the highest I have come across."[6]
- ^ "Bob Mionske Olympic Results". Olympics at Sports-Reference.com. Sports Reference LLC. Retrieved July 6, 2016.
- ^ Mionske, Bob (December 11, 2008). "Can't we all just get along?". VeloNews. VeloNews. Retrieved 2009-02-06.
- ^ Rezell, John (May, 1994) "Bob Mionske's Views From the Van," Cycling USA, United States Cycling Federation.
- ^ Tims, Dana (July 18, 2005) "Bob Mionske: Portland lawyer cycles from wheels to deals," The Oregonian
- ^ Boulanger, Gary (September 13, 2008). "Interview: Specialized designer Robert Egger". bikeradar.com. bikeradar.com. Retrieved 2009-02-06.
- ^ Schmalz, Andy (September 18, 2006). "Interviews: John Loehner". Velocity Nation. Velocity Nation. Retrieved 2009-02-06.
Further reading[edit]
- Bicycling & The Law: Your Rights As a Cyclist, by Bob Mionske (Boulder, Colorado: VeloPress 2007) ISBN 978-1-931382-99-1, ISBN 1-931382-99-9


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Dad, Jasper, Jacob, and Emmett had just finished arranging all the furniture on main floor when Grandma came in from the kitchen, saying that dinner was ready, not that it affected anyone but me and Jacob. But we all went into the kitchen and sat at a large glass dining table. That was one thing about Esme; she did have a knack for finding beautiful furniture. Around the glass table were ten larg…
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Playoff shirts go on sale at NOON CDT. Buy them in store at Tree and Leaf or online. Don't miss out on the movement.
Jason Quick of the Oregonian with an interesting note about the last play: "From there, the Blazers hung on, throwing a surprise at the Thunder for the game's most important possession. With the score 90-87, the Thunder had the ball with 12.8 seconds left. The Blazers knew Kevin Durant would attempt a three-pointer, but instead of putting Batum on Durant, the Blazers used 6-foot-11 Camby to force Durant to shoot over his long arms. "We had been saving that," McMillan said with a smile. "We didn't know when we would use it, but we thought we would at some point because Marcus moves his feet so well and he is tough to shoot over."
Ric Bucher with a tremendous piece on Russell Westbrook: "But Thunder GM Sam Presti flew down to LA for a second look five days before the draft, showing up 30 minutes before the scheduled workout. Westbrook's agent, Thad Foucher, arrived a few minutes later. Together, Foucher and Presti called Westbrook. He answered as he stepped out of a car 20 yards in front of them. "This," says Presti, "was our type of guy."
You've got to appreciate KD's tweet following a tough loss: "Feel like I was jus in a 12 round fight.sleep is gonna be great tonight. thank God for givin me the chance to go out there n hoop. win or lose."
Ezra Caraeff of Portland Roundball Society: "Deciphering the NBA playoff tiebreakers is like trying to figure out the rules of Fantastic Mr. Fox's whackbat ("Basically, there's three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners…"). But following an impressive 92-87 victory over Oklahoma City in the Thunder Dome Ford Center, the Blazers now hold a decisive tiebreaker (at least for a few more days) against the Thunder."
Ben of Blazersedge: "Andre Miller came out of the gate looking to physically and mentally punish Russell Westbrook. Taking the promising youngster into the post and off the dribble, Miller unveiled the whole arsenal in accounting for Portland's first 11 points through his scoring and assisting. Oklahoma City's offense couldn't keep up, plagued by missed jumpers and turnovers and generally looking out of sync."
Also, on Blazeredge, everyone knows it's kind of the gold standard in team blogging, and they were rewarded with an awesome piece by the local news on the site. And as I watched it, it made me appreciate the strong community we've built here. It's not to the size of Blazeredge, but it's strong, active and most importantly, passionate. So thank you guys. (Attention local news: I'm available for interviews anywhere from 5-6 PM on weekdays. Ahem.)
Sebastian Pruiti of NBA Playbook breaks down OKC's final play again. Excellent stuff here.
John Rohde on last night's game: "The Thunder had just 13 assists, a tell-tale sign a team is not moving the ball. Brooks noted his team's poor spacing offensively. "We were playing too much one-on-one," Brooks said. No argument here. The Thunder was a half-step off, particularly at the outset, trailing by 10 early in the second quarter. With the playoffs approaching, this is no time for poor timing."
KD was named one of SI's most influential athletes and will get some photos in the new issue.
Dean Blevins talks with Sam Presti.
KD is second in NBA.com's Race to the MVP: "Sometimes less can be more: Durant blows up for 45 against San Antonio and the Thunder lose. He downshifts to 25 in 31 minutes two nights later, taking just 18 shots with four rebounds and three assists and his club cruises over Houston. It was the flip side of MVP worthiness, where a star player acts as lubricant (season-high 30 assists for OKC, 23 points by James Harden, 19 from Jeff Green)."
Magic Number Watch: Despite last night's loss, the number drops to four for Memphis and three for Houston. Can you taste the postseason? I can.


text: Hey everyone, im 16 years old and ive been boxing for a year now. Ive got good skills and i take boxing seriously. this whole time ive been boxing my school grades has been going down gradually. its like all i can think about is boxing, boxing, and more boxing. no one in my family wants me to box anymore and they want me to continue my education. all i really want to do right now is box. but i want to make my parents proud. And ppl have always been tellin me, "balance your time, balance your time" and im at the point where i dont want to deal with school anymore. so does any one have some advise for me. anything at all. im really stuck.


text:
Alison Knowles, a leading member of the Fluxus artist group, will be in residence with her collaborator, Joshua Selman, to re-stage her iconic event score Make a Salad on Open Field. While each performance is unique, the basic ingredients include Knowles preparing a massive salad by chopping the ingredients to live music, tossing it in the air, then serving the salad to the audience. Read more about the event here.
Alison Knowles, Make a Salad July 10, 2014 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm
- Start:
- July 10, 2014 6:00 pm
- End:
- July 10, 2014 8:00 pm
- Category:
- 2014
Google Map
- United States


text:
A friend of mine has a modded XBox which an Xecuter2 chip in, (no idea which one!) but it has a standard hard drive. We've been out today and bought a 160GB drive to replace the standard one. The tutorials seem fairly easy but...
( a ) The XBox came with EvoX already on and we have no idea where/how to make a boot disk from the files on the XBox;
( b ) Is it possible to just ghost his original drive to this one and plug that in?;
( c ) If not, do we have to format the new drive before putting it into the XBox?
Any help would be greatly appriciated,
Edited by PhilC, 02 July 2006 - 02:31 PM.


text:
One month after adopting a new policy of routine screening for HIV, Kaiser Permanente Northwest is apologizing to nearly 6,500 members in Oregon and Washington whose blood was tested without their knowledge or consent.
The testing in question happened between April 11 and May 5, after Kaiser Permanente Northwest implemented a new policy to screen the health plan's members between ages 50 and 65. The policy echoes a federal recommendation issued last month that virtually all adults be tested, as long as they're given the chance to decline it. Kaiser is phasing in the policy, starting with older patients, but neglected to inform many of them, according to the health system.
The new federal recommendation marks a big change. Previously, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommended testing only for people considered high risk such as gay men who engage in unprotected sex, or intravenous drug users.
The old recommendation hasn't curbed the spread of the disease, with 50,000 new HIV cases diagnosed annually. The new recommendation is intended to provide additional encouragement to providers and health systems. But for some people HIV testing remains a touchy subject, in part due to past stigmatization, experts say.
About a third of people diagnosed with HIV develop AIDS within a year, and about 20 percent of people with HIV don't know they have it, according to the federal recommendation. About 11 percent of cases are attributed to heterosexual contact.
Dr. Roger Chou of Oregon Health & Science University researched the new recommendation for the federal task force. He says it's the 20 percent who are unaware of their condition that the task force is trying to reach.
Since the first cases of AIDS were reported in 1981, more than 1.1 million persons have been diagnosed and nearly 595 000 have died from the condition, according to the task force. Now that HIV is so much more treatable, routine screening makes more sense, Chou said. "We want people to know they have the disease so they can make decisions to protect themselves," he said.
OHSU is adopting a policy of routine HIV testing and will inform patients about it, Chou said. "In the United States we value patients being able to make choices about what kinds of testing they want," he said.
Kaiser has been sending letters to members tested without their consent: "We're very sorry for the communication delays in implementing this important screening and for any concerns it may have caused you, or any of our members and patients."
Asked about the mix-up, Kaiser Permanente issued a general statement attributed to Tom Hickey, the system's chief medical operations officer. "We deeply regret that this lack of communication may have caused unnecessary concern for our members and patients," and Kaiser Permanente has "taken steps to ensure that members have an opportunity to opt out of the test going forward," the statement said.
Are you a Kaiser member who was tested? What's your take? Drop us a line here.
-- Nick Budnick


text:
wrote in message
news:firstname.lastname@example.com link.net...
> Me wrote:
> > Hi
> > Linux newbie here. I'm trying to get mysql / smb / httpd to auto-start
> > bootup of the server. From most of the documentation I found on the web
> > was supposed to
> > 1) copy the startup script to /etc/init.d (Did this , scripts work by
> > invoking them with a start parameter)
> > 2) create symbolic links prefaced with S and followed by a number in one
> > of the run level directories (I did this in rc3.d)
> > Rebooted the computer, they didnt work.
> > I then deleted the symbolic links and tried adding them using chkconfig
> > -add mysql.server (the mysql default script), following this chkconfig
> > --list showed mysql ON on runlevel 2 and 4. But it still didnt work. I
> > also added httpd at runlevel 3, no dice with that either (the httpd
> > did have the chkconfig values preset).
> >
> > Any idea what I'm doing wrong or not doing? Thanks a LOT
> >
> > Muhammed
> Are you sure you're booting into runlevel 3? The default on most distros
> runlevel 5 (graphical logon mode). Type /sbin/runlevel and check. If you
> see something like:
> This means your in runlevel 5 (It's the last number that tells the current
> runlevel).
> You can also check the runlevel by looking at /etc/inittab and looking for
> the line that says:
> # The default runlevel is defined here
> id:5:initdefault:
> If you are runlevel 5 you need to do your above changes to
> not /etc/init.d/rc3.d.
Hi again,
Thanks a lot , ur solution worked like a charm. I had erroneously thought
that all of the rcX.d scripts run , not only the ones in the same runlevel
ur logging in to. One other question, since the runlevel may be changed
later, to make sure that the services I want are running, should I add the
symbolic link to all the run levels 2 thru 5? No harm in doing that?
PS Thanks again


text:
A dermatologist is a physician who is trained to evaluate and manage patients of all ages with benign and malignant disorders of the skin, hair, nails and adjacent mucous membranes. A dermatologist has had additional training and experience in the following:
- The diagnosis and treatment of skin cancers, melanomas, moles and other tumors of the skin
- The management of contact dermatitis, eczema, psoriasis, acne and other inflammatory skin disorders
- The recognition of the skin manifestations of systemic and infectious diseases
- Dermatopathology
- Surgical techniques for skin lesions
Dermatologists also manage cosmetic disorders of the skin, including hair loss, scars and skin changes associated with aging.
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