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Neked Funny Videos
Watch the most popular, latest and new neked funny videos and neked funny video clips. Make sure you check out the latest funny videos and new videos.
Three Headed Broadway StarHilarious clip from classic improvisational comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway with Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie and Wayne Brady.Tags: comedy, whose line, ryan stiles, funny
Frog Playing Video GamesFollowing on from our video of the lizard playing video games, here's a frog playing the same game, but don't try to take it off him!
Buying Things With Blank PaperDerron Brown travels to America to pay for stuff with blank pieces of paper. Funny how the only person who doesn't fall for it is a hot dog more..
No Glass In The Door AccidentsNot sure if this is meant to be a prank or what, but it has some funny results when people are expecting there to be glass in the more..Tags: glass door, prank, accident, funny
Plastic Bag interrupts News ReportA plastic bag gets bored of this new report and decides it's time to do something about it.
Hilarious Movie FailsHave you seen them all?
Camel Interupts InterviewThis camel mustn't agree with the views being put across in this interview as it gatecrashes it, then chases everybody away.


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Monday, May 13, 2013
Tweet, synopsis, brief bio, snippet, the words terrify me. Try as I may to keep up with the pace of technology, I just can't reduce my conversations down to the attention span of a society who regularly communicates in 20-word tweets or texts. Although I am good at texting, I am not brief. I have one friend who told me that until me, she had never received a six page text on her phone.
I am an observer of earth and its inhabitants. While watching people I pick up on subtle nuances and body language, an astute survival skill. I know when body language suggest you move along: disingenuous smiles, lack of eye contact, key jingling, repetitive phrases "text me," "call me."
I need to see you to read you.
Text example:
Me: "What do you want for dinner?"
Don: "Whatever"
Me: "Whatever like you are going to do what you want anyway or whatever you like sweetheart or whatever I don't really care. I mean really is it Whatever :) or Whatever?" Because one of these will determine the mood I am in for dinner now :)
Anyway, for fear of the jingling keys and repetitive phrases of rejection, I found that I wasn't engaging as well. Oh, I could put it all out there in writing and social media, but the majority of my daily conversations collectively sounded like a Macaw. "Hello, goodbye, have a good day, have a good night, call me, text me."
While on my coffee high one morning I vowed to engage myself in conversation with whoever came in my path that day. It was a rather flippant decision, resembling others I make (and break) before 9 a.m. like no carbs today, drink water, exercise, pray more, drink less wine tonight.
Well, true to form. I got behind from the beginning. Maybe I should nix the vow. Walking to the car, I blew out a flip flop. I drove to the Waves store to buy a cheap pair. While in the parking lot my phone rang, I found myself preparing a few one liners to get off of the phone. Realizing my faux pas, I opened the car door, leaned back in the seat and had a 40 minute conversation in the parking lot. I have a trucker tan on my left arm to prove it.
The manager of Waves looked up quizzically as I step-dragged instead of flip flopped past him. He quickly resumed hustling stock to the floor like he was expecting a rush. I dropped my new flip flops on the counter as he came up from his boxes. I remembered the vow. Noticing his fervor in putting up stock and crushing boxes I hesitated at first but continued "That sure is a lot of stock to put up. You need to schedule help on the days that truck comes in."
He hesitated too. Maybe a flippant answer - take her money and get the heck back to the stock. But no, while crushing a box he decides to engage back. "If I let someone come in and do the work for me then I wouldn't be able to keep the girls happy with this physique," he answered in syrupy European laced English. I laughed. "So, how's that going for you?" I asked.
"Well, not so good, I was in Miami...the girls ...they think I don't have how you say....the whole package. New York, the same thing and then before I knew it they must have all moved here too. It's too easy these days. It's all about appearances."
I shook my head. "I know people who have been hurt deeply and are alone now." I can't believe I just said that to a complete stranger."
"Tell them don't give up, but being alone is better than being in a shallow relationship." He says while putting my change in my hand.
He heads back to his piles of boxes. I turn around and go back to ask his name. "Daniel, and what is yours?" I tell him my name and goodbye again. Walking out Daniel called out to me and I turned. He tossed me a box of salt water taffy.
I was still grinning when I slid into the car but within seconds I felt behind again. I rushed into the grocery store and tried my best not to make eye contact with the newspaper solicitor. "Free paper" he rings out. "No" I answered and tried to move on.
A Pepsi vendor had me temporarily stuck in place. I considered a grocery store cart trick jump over the pallet jack of carbonation that would make Tony Hawk proud. The crier cried on "Well, why don't you sign up for the free groceries while you are waiting?" My eyes plead with him to leave me alone. "Just sign up, worth a shot."
I don't want to, but realized that once again, it was an opportunity to show that I had some patience left with mankind and maybe it with me. We ended up talking for 30 minutes. Everything from how he met his wife to where he moved here from to how he lost his business and ended up here. As I left him, I think he felt lighter.
I am now at that point where, whatever needed to be done so urgently today, was just not going happen. As I was leaning over the fresh meat counter, the lady next to me lifts her sunglasses to exclaim, "Oh my gosh...look at the price on this stuff." At this point, I just laughed. I realized that I was not manipulating this day. It was shaping me. Okay, let's see what happens.
I spent another half hour in the grocery store while I engaged with one of the most interesting characters that I have had the pleasure to meet in a long time. I was literally bent over slapping my legs in laughter at this lady. Our meat counter engagement ended with us swapping business cards and hopefully meeting again.
I mulled over the morning on the way home. Unfruitful in the measurement of a checked off list, but a treasure in participation. And you just can't tweet a day like that.
And contrary to popular belief, piddlin' is not always leisure time. Piddlin' can be anything from bush-hogging a field to snapping a bushel basket of green beans on the front porch. Visit Renae Brabham's website at www.renaebrabham.com.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Cruisin season begins Friday
CHARLES TOWN -Cruisin the Cone Zone begins 6 to 9 p.m. Friday and runs every Friday until Sept. 28. All makes-models-years welcome. Oldies music, 50/50 raffles and prizes. Big Daddy's BBQ will also be at the Cone Zone serving BBQ pork and chicken dinners.
For more information, call 304-724-8374.
Trivia nights set at Daily Grind
MARTINSBURG - Daily Grind, on Foxcroft Avenue, will hold a trivia night at 7 p.m. every Monday.
Trivia nights set throughout area
MARTINSBURG - Trivia Tuesday and Wednesday will be held at various locations in West Virginia and Maryland. For more information, specific times and locations, visit facebook at www.facebook.com/trivia tuesday.
Ghost tours of Frederick on tap
FREDERICK, Md. - The dead come alive when the candlelight ghost tours of Frederick begin April 13. Participants will hear about gruesome acts of revenge, horrific deeds, spiteful exploits, blood-thirsty mobs, embalming and more.
Candlelight Ghost Tours of historic Frederick are available various weekend nights, April 13 through December. Private group tours available year-round. All tours depart, rain or shine, from Brewer's Alley Restaurant and Brewery, 124 N. Market St. Cost is $10 for adults, $8 active military and seniors, $5 for children 7 through 12. Tours are approximately 90-minutes in length and leisurely cover 1.2 miles. No reservations are required, except for groups of eight or more. Discount coupons for Brewer's Alley Restaurant and Brewery provided with each ticket purchased.
For more information, call 301-668-8922 or visit www.marylandghosttours. com.
Dance photo exhibit on tap
HAGERSTOWN, Md. - The Washington County Arts Council is pleased to announce the April 2012 North Gallery Exhibit, "Dance, Dance, Dance" photos by Don Viar. Viar's photos depict the many faces of the Barbara Ingram School for the Arts dance students.
Viar has been an art teacher in Washington County Public Schools for 35 years. He holds a B.A. in art education from Shepherd College and a masters degree from University of Maryland, Antioch College. He has taught classes in art, studio practice, photography, ceramics, sculpture and printmaking.
The Washington County Arts Council will host an opening reception from 5 to 7 p.m. Friday at the gallery located at 14 W. Washington St. just off the square in downtown Hagerstown. The exhibit runs through May 1.
For information, call gallery manager, Ashley Durboraw at 301-791-3132 or email gallerym gr@washingtoncountyarts. com.
Wildflower festival set for Saturday
SHEPHERDSTOWN - The Potomac Valley Audubon Society will hold its annual spring Wildflower Festival from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. April 14 at the Yankauer Nature Preserve. Held rain or shine. It will include guided wildflower walks through the preserve for advanced and beginner families, children's activities and refreshments.
For more information, call 304-676-3397 or visit www.potomacaudubon.org.
Library to host book signing
CHARLES TOWN - Charles Town Library will host a book signing for Ann Khiel Fern, author of "Charles Town, WV - A Haunted History," currently in its third printing, at 11 a.m. Saturday. Fern will also share new terrifying tales from recent tours and answering questions.
For more information, call the library at 304-725-2208 or Fern at 304-724-6741.
'Nature as Healer' event set Saturday
MARTINSBURG - Race Street Artist's Cooperative is pleased to present "Nature as Healer," a solo exhibition of new work by Eleanor (Ellie) Parker. An opening reception will be held from 7 to 9 p.m. Saturday at 410 Race St.
Alpaca Farm Days set in Boonsboro
BOONSBORO, Md. - The fifth annual "Alpaca Farm Days 2012" will be held from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday and Sunday throughout the area. Six farms will be on hand with alpacas and products, along with vendors, seminars, demonstrations, door prizes and snacks.
For more information, call Nancy at 301-393-5878 or visit www.hagerstownmarylandalpacas.com.
DVD/CD release event set Sunday
SHEPHERDSTOWN - Come celebrate the brand new DVD/CD "Gustafer Yellowgold's Year in the Day" at 2 p.m. Sunday at the Shepherdstown Opera House. The New York Times says, "The show is a cross between 'Yellow Submarine' and Dr. Seuss." Admission is $10 per adult and $5 per child.
For more information, call 304-876-3704 or visit www.operahouselive.com.
Garden Week Tours on tap
LEESBURG, Va. - This year Oatlands is offering special guided tours of its spectacular gardens during Historic Garden Week in Virginia. The Historic Garden Week Tours at Oatlands are outdoor walking tours that will give visitors a chance to explore the beautiful gardens at Oatlands. The Historic Garden Week Tours at Oatlands will be offered at 12:30 and 2:30 p.m. Saturday and at 12:30 p.m. April 20 through 28.
During the Historic Garden Week Tours visitors are given a rare chance to walk the gardens of Oatlands with a knowledgeable guide, who will talk about the different types of plants that can be found on the property and the history of the garden. There is a $12 fee for the tour. Come enjoy the scenic and historic beauty of the gardens at Oatlands.
For more information, call 703-777-3174 or visit www.oatlands.org.


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Top Definition
Short for James Earl Pwns, Indiana Pwns, and Al Capwn (the three gwnages (gods of ownage)). By using all three names in one (such as Jeiacpwnage), you refer to the twnage (triforce of ownage), which is the highest possible level of ownage.
Beküldő: drsquar 2006. október 17.
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Meandering 469 miles from Shenandoah National Park in the northern Shenandoah Valley of Virginia to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina, the Parkway follows the Appalachian Mountains and boasts some of the most spectacular scenery in the world.
A hundred species of trees, a variety of flowering shrubs and wildflowers as well 54 different mammals and 59 species of birds live along the Parkway - more than the entire European continent!
Skyline Drive connects to the northernmost section of the Parkway, winding along the crest of the mountains from Waynesboro northward 105 miles to Front Royal.
Developed sites along the Parkway make it easy to stop, park, stretch, visit restrooms and exhibits, hike and get a bite to eat. Lodging and campgrounds are available with opportunities to fish and view wildlife.
Appalachian Cultural Sites | Campgrounds and LodgingHiking Trails and Wildlife | Fishing and SwimmingMilepost Services | Just Off the Parkway
See remnants of the oldest settlements along the Parkway, learn a bit of the history from exhibits at the Visitor Centers, and read all the overlook signs. Highlights include:
Milepost 5 - Humpback Rocks - See old Appalachian farm buildings of the 19th century at the Mountain Farm Exhibit. During summer months, enjoy living history demonstrations. The Humpback Rocks Visitors Center features exhibits on housing, community, transportation and entertainment of the region.
Milepost 34.4 - The Yankee Horse Ridge Parking Area features narrow gauge railroad track once known as the Irish Creek Railway. See an exhibit on logging, too.
Milepost 63.6 - James River Visitor Center features an exhibit on the James River and Kanawha Canal, which was once a primary commercial route. A trail takes you to a restored lock dating from the mid-19th century.
Milepost 85.9 - Peaks of Otter - The Johnson farm is a living history farm during the summer. The Polly Woods Ordinary served as a lodging establishment for travelers in the early 1830s. Both are two structures reminiscent of a bygone era.
Milepost 120.4 - Enjoy a 3.7-mile side trip to Roanoke Mountain. Roanoke is where the Great Wagon Road branched south into North Carolina and west.
Milepost 154 - The Trail Cabin, circa 19th-century, represents the isolation of mountain residents. The location has been described as spectacular!
Milepost 176.2 - Mabry Mill is not to be missed. Explore the mill, a blacksmith shop, wheelwright's and a whiskey still. Demonstrations take place spring through fall.
Milepost 189 - The Puckett Cabin, also 19th-century, was the home of Mrs. Orleana.
Milepost 213 - The Blue Ridge Music Center features an amphitheater, where a Summer Concert Series is featured each Saturday evening June through September.
Campgrounds are open from May to October and are maintained and supervised by National Park Rangers. They are primitive sites without hookups, but each is equipped with restrooms, drinking water, picnic tables and grills. Sanitary dump stations are available, too. Campsites cannot be reserved, but please make reservations if you're staying in a lodge. Lodges are open year 'round.
Milepost 16 - Sherando Lake in George Washington National Forest is about 4.5 miles off the Parkway on Highway 814.
Milepost 60.8 - Otter Creek Campground provides 45 tent and 24 trailer sites, restrooms, water, and a campfire circle. Many of the campsites are along the banks of Otter Creek. The James River Visitors Center is a 3.5-mile hike on the Otter Creek Trail.
Milepost 86 - Peaks of Otter Campground offers campsites and non-electrical RV sites. Within walking distance of the Abbott Lake and Peaks of Otter.
Milepost 85.6 - The Peaks of Otter Lodge is open year 'round. It has 62 rooms and a 24-acre lake for fishing! Amenities include a gas station, restaurant, gift shop and picnic area. Bus rides to the Sharp Top Summit are available from the Visitors Center. Sharp Top Summit is the northernmost boundary of the Cherokee Nation. The area has a gas station, 62-table picnic area, campstore and 141 campsites with 53 RV/trailer sites.
Milepost 161 - Rocky Knob Campground features 81 tent and 28 trailer sites, restrooms and a dump station for RV's with a campfire circle that accommodates up to 150 campers. The picnic area consists of 72 tables, restrooms, phone and picnic shelter. Route 758 is accessed on the West Side of the Parkway and leads to the Rocky Knob Housekeeping Cabins one mile away.
Milepost 176 - Spectacular views, mountain-top chalets, elegant dining, conference facilities, and a wide array of recreational activities await you at Primland Resort. Fish, hunt, ATV, golf and so much more all while staying in an elegant resort.
The following hiking trails include only those that are about a mile or longer. Other easy to moderate "leg stretching" loops can be found all along the Parkway, especially to points of interest.
A state fishing license is required and creel limits are enforced. Please inquire at Visitor Centers or Ranger Stations along the Parkway.
Milepost 16 - Sherando Lake is a recreation/camping area in the George Washington National Forest. Swimming facilities include a sandy beach, a shaded grass area and a bathhouse with warm showers.
Milepost 58-63.6 - Otter Creek runs 10 miles down the Blue Ridge to the James River, and Otter Lake is accessible from the Otter Creek Campground. Fishing only.
Milepost 71 - Petites Gap to Cave Mountain Lake, seven miles off the Parkway in Jefferson National Forest, is ideal for swimming and fishing.
Milepost 84-87 - Peaks of Otter Lodge features a 24-acre lake stocked with smallmouth bass, catfish, golden shiners, sunfish and blue gill.
In case your trip down the Blue Ridge Parkway requires replenishment, visit one of the communities just a hop, skip and a jump away.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is a Virginia Green attraction!
Last Updated: 04/20/2016
Find out what's going on around Virginia. Subscribe to the Virginia eNewsletter.


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INCLINE VILLAGE, Nev. - Still trying to decide what to be for Halloween? Need some decorations for the party? Dress the Part(y) has got you covered.Since opening in 2006, the store has been the go-to place for costumes and party supplies in Incline Village. Located right in the middle of town, Dress the Part(y) has everything from costumes to party decor to wigs to makeup.The store, which is owned by Linda Offerdahl, offers customers costumes for every occasion, to buy or rent. It offers costumes from companies such as Elope, Leg Avenue and Be Wicked, as well as offering Ben Nye makeup. Additionally, if the store doesn't have what you're looking for, its staff will order it for you.With Halloween rapidly approaching, store manager Alyssa Aninos has been busy trying to help others perfect their costumes."I've always been artistically driven," Aninos explained. "Fashion has always been huge."Aninos explained that this is a very busy time of year for the shop, as staff just finished providing outfits for spirit week at school, and are now looking forward to Halloween and the holidays. Aninos added that the store has much more than just costumes, as it offers decorations for parties."(When planning a party) people will feel at a loss, saying 'I don't even know where to begin,'" Aninos said. "(The store) is a creative resource."Dress the Part(y) has a whole room devoted to party decor, including a section with Halloween and Thanksgiving themed items. The staff, which may or may not be in costume, is eager to help you find exactly what you need to take your costume, party or event to the next level."(It's about) helping people create their own vision," Aninos said of helping customers find their costume.If you're still without a costume for Halloween or that special event you have coming up, Aninos suggests to look toward current events to help. For example, following the recent presidential debate, Aninos was sure to order some Big Bird costumes. Another guideline for creating a unique costume is to add to whatever costume you may buy."Instead of being just what's on the package, put a twist on it," Aninos added.One last tip if you're still stuck, Aninos said, is to take anyone from the past, and bring them back to life.When asked what she was going to be for Halloween, Aninos thought for a second, before responding with "a dancing Grateful Dead bear," citing her ties to music and interest in being somewhat scary for the big night."I try to make it fun and creative. That's my goal with every outfit," she said.Dress the Part(y) also prides itself in being an active member of the community, helping out at various events year-round."Whenever there's a charitable event going on, we work with event planners to meet their budget," she explained, adding that event planners may just be a parent hosting a birthday party for their children.The store has been involved with various High Fives Foundation events, as well as Red, White and Tahoe Blue, Star Follies and the Tahoe SAFE Alliance/Project MANA Chocolate, Wine & Roses Festival."All of North Shore is a family," Aninos added, citing the importance of giving back to your community.Aninos added that the shop offers a locals discount for community members. The store is also planning on starting a frequent buyers club for loyal customers, which is set to begin in January.Whether it be a Halloween costume or holiday decorations, Dress the Part(y) has got you covered for your next big event.
Back to: News
October 26, 2012
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Arable reversion and climate change: Humberhead Peatlands case study (TIN109)
provide case
Year of Publication2012
This is one of a series of notes explaining how land management can contribute to climate change mitigation and adaptation. TIN107 Environmental Stewardship and climate change mitigation explains how Environmental Stewardship (ES) options can be used to reduce the scale of climate change. This note and TIN108 provide case studies highlighting different aspects of land management to address both mitigation and adaptation. These notes have been written for advisers and farmers working on ES and other environmental land management initiatives.
This item is categorised as follows
- Subject Collection > Arable & industrial crops
- Subject Collection > Environmental impact > Managing land for environmental benefit
- Subject Collection > Environmental impact > Climate change
- Subject Collection > Soils & water > Soil management
- Subject Collection > Greenhouse Gas
- Subject Collection > Environmental impact
- Subject Collection > Greenhouse Gas > Carbon Capture & Storage
- Subject Collection > Greenhouse Gas > GHG Reduction
Additional keywords/tagsenvironmental stewardshipes
Natural England works for people, places and nature to conserve and enhance biodiversity, landscapes and wildlife in rural, urban, coastal and marine areas.Website
What Next...?
- Use the search box above to find similar items
- More on Carbon capture and storage
- View the full record
This is a brief summary of an item in the OpenFields Library. This free online library contains items of interest to practitioners and researchers in the agricultural and landbased industries.


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To pull down or take off one's pants (short for 'drop trousers').
Tony got us arrested when he decided to drop trow at the Abercrombie & Fitch counter.
додав roahboah 06 Жовтня 2003
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Top Definition
The act of dropping one's pants around the ankles while standing. This is usually a precurser to mooning, pissing, or receiving a blow job.
This girl wanted me so bad when we left the bar, I dropped trow in the alley and she eagerly went down!
додав Joey Jo-jo Jr. Shabadu 02 Жовтня 2003
A trowel is a simple hand tool used to layer or "slot in" mortar between stones or bricks by a mason. While the spelling has changed, "drop trow" is long forgotten slang from the masonry trade meaning to immediately "drop the trowel", stop working, and/or walk away from the job. The term was often used in reference to unionization and labor strikes in the 1880's through the 1950's in the United States.
I'm droppin' trow'-- I quit.
додав J. Fine 24 Травня 2005
To remove ones trouser or if you live in the US, to remove ones pants.
Kevin was in need of a banging shit so he dropped trow and squeezed out a cleaveland steamer on his partners chest...
додав Garf 16 Листопада 2003
pull down your pants and / or show off your butt
the nurse told me that that my arm wouldnt work, so I had to drop trow and take the shot in my rear end
додав Joel 02 Жовтня 2003
take down one's pants. Defined in the Preppy Handbook.
I dropped trow on the dance floor just to see what would happen
додав julie 05 Жовтня 2003
to drop one's pants, to either prepare for intercourse or making a "mangina"
"There are four easy steps to making a mangina: drop trow, spin arou, turn that frow, upside down!"
додав Butters McWorthington VII 14 Жовтня 2009


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Now more than ever, we need your support! Become a Supporting Subscriber today.
Tim Drury's Scoop
Just had a very excited @tdrury on the phone - he has a Doctor Who Scoop! He caught Matt Smith filming near Western Canal Wharf in Cardiff
followed by a tweet by @vegan_sarnie Please RT: Matt Smith is filming at an antique shop in Cardiff!
Matt Smith of couse in full costume.
It certainly has made Tim's day in Cardiff!
Cheers daveac - for Tim


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Softball Opens Play At War Eagle Classic Friday
► THIS WEEK IN BALL STATE SOFTBALL: The Ball State softball team opens its six-day, eight-game spring break road trip Tuesday at Jacksonville State with a scheduled 6 pm ET / 5 pm CT first pitch ... Wednesday, the Cardinals are slated to play a 3 pm ET / 2 pm CT doubleheader at UAB ... Ball State opens play in the three-day War Eagle Classic hosted by Auburn Friday with a Noon ET / 11 am CT contest versus Alabama A&M.
► FOLLOW THE ACTION: Ball State fans can follow the Cardinals over spring break at the links above ... Torey Fox, the play-by-play voice of Ball State softball, is slated to make his 2014 season debut at the War Eagle Classic and will carry the action LIVE and FREE on BallStateSports.com ... Fans can also get regular updates by following the team on Twitter: @BallStateSB - Instagram: ballstatesb - Facebook: BallStateSoftball
► CARDINALS ALL-TIME: After posting a 5-2 record in the state of Arizona, the Ball State softball program enters Tuesday's game at Jacksonville State with an 866-919-4 (.485) all-time record in 39-plus seasons of play ... Established as a varsity program in 1975, Ball State has won four Mid-American Conference regular season titles (2009, 2010, 2012 and 2013), two MAC Tournament championships (1998 and 2010) and advanced to the NCAA Tournament twice (1998 and 2010).
► HEAD COACH TYRA PERRY: A two-time Sun Belt Conference Coach of the Year (2009 & 2013), Tyra Perry was named the eighth head coach in Ball State softball history Aug. 6, 2013 ... Perry enters Ball State's spring break trip with a 354-348-1 (.504) career record, including a 12-4 ledger so far in her first season at Ball State, including a 3-0 win over then-No. 3 Arizona State (March 2) ... Prior to coming to Ball State, Perry had six-year head coaching stints at both Western Kentucky (2008-13) and Birmingham-Southern (2002-07) ... In 2013, Perry guided WKU to the program's first-ever NCAA Regional appearance and to a final ranking of 26th in the NCAA Ratings Percentage Index (RPI), the highest final ranking in program history ... The Lady Toppers also posted the program's first 40-plus win season (43-18) under Perry's tutelage in 2013, and earned its first SBC regular season title with a 20-3 league record.
► SCOUTING THE CARDINALS: Ball State enters its eight-game spring break road trip with a 12-4 overall record ... The Cardinals posted a 5-2 record in Arizona, including a 3-0 victory over then-No. 3 Arizona State (March 2) ... Sophomore center fielder Briana Evans leads the Ball State offense with a .467 batting average, while senior left fielder Jennifer Gilbert and senior first baseman Taylor Rager are batting .408 and .404, respectively ... Ball State currently leads the league with a .354 team batting average and its 6.31 runs-per-game average is almost 1.5 runs better than Central Michigan (4.89) in second ... In the circle, sophomore Kelsey Schifferdecker owns a spotless 6-0 record and threw the Cardinals' first complete game shutout of the season versus George Mason (Feb. 16) ... Schifferdecker owns a 2.97 ERA over 40 innings of work and has struck out 18 batters while issuing just 11 walks ... As a staff, Ball State's pitchers have a combined 4.24 ERA.
JACKSONVILLE STATE: The Gamecocks enter Tuesday's showdown versus Ball State with a 13-5 overall record ... Last week, JSU was able to play two games at the rain-shortened Chanticleer Challenge, posting wins over Appalachian State (5-0) and Furman (3-0) ... Sara Borders leads the Gamecocks with a .517 batting average, which includes seven doubles, six home runs and a triple ... In the circle, Jacksonville State has five different pitchers with at least one start ... Tiffany Harbin has a team-high eight appearances, posting a 3-3 record and 4.76 ERA over 32.1 innings of work ... JSU is batting .328 as a team, while holding opponents to a .231 average ... Ball State and Jacksonville State will be playing for the first time in softball.
UAB: The Blazers enter the week with an 8-12 overall record after opening Conference USA play by going 1-2 at East Carolina last weekend ... UAB's lone win in the three-game series was a 5-4 (8 inn.) victory in the nightcap of a Saturday doubleheader ... ECU won the first game 2-1 and picked up a 7-1 victory Sunday ... Caitlin Attfield leads the Blazers with a .377 batting average and is second on the team with 12 RBI ... Leigh Streetman is UAB's top pitcher, owning a 6-6 record, a 1.59 ERA and 86 strikeouts over 70.1 innings of work ... UAB is batting .237 as a team, while holding opponents to a .253 average ... Ball State holds a 3-0 lead in the all-time series, including a 3-0 win the latest meeting March 5, 2010, which also saw current BSU assistant coach Erica Sisson playing first base for the Blazers.
ALABAMA A&M: The Lady Bulldogs enter the week with an 8-13 overall record after dropping a pair of games to Austin Peay last Wednesday by scores of 15-6 and 4-0 ... Raven Grubbs leads the squad with a .358 batting average and 13 runs scored ... Anisa Britt has pitched a team-high 52.0 innings this season and owns a 4-4 record and 5.71 ERA ... Britt does have a complete game shutout to her credit this season ... The Lady Bulldogs are batting .266 as a team, while allowing opponents to connect for a .308 rate of success ... Ball State won the only previous meeting by a score of 11-1 (5 inn.) March 10, 2001.
RADFORD: The Highlanders enter the week with a 4-10 overall record after going 2-1 in games played at Elon last weekend ... Radford picked up a 2-1 (11 inn.) win over Towson Saturday, before suffering losses to Towson (9-6) and Elon (3-2) Sunday ... Jessie Hutchens has a team-best .357 batting average and three home runs this season ... In the circle, Rachael Walters owns a 4-3 record and 2.08 ERA over a team-high 40.1 innings of work ... Walters also has 39 strikeouts on the year ... Radford is batting .222 as a team, while allowing opponents to hit .273 ... Ball State holds a 2-1 lead in the all-time series despite suffering a 4-3 loss in the latest meeting March 19, 2011.
AUBURN: The Tigers enter the week with a 19-4-1 overall record after going 2-1 versus LSU last weekend to open SEC play ... LSU won the first game of the series by a score of 4-1, before Auburn rebound for 6-4 and 7-0 victories to conclude the series ... The Tigers are led offensively by Kasey Cooper who owns a .409 batting average, six home runs, 30 RBI and 30 runs scored ... In the circle, Lexi Davis has a 9-4 record, a 1.53 ERA and 74 strikeouts over 87.0 innings of work ... The Tigers are batting .285 as a team, while limiting opponents to a .211 average ... Auburn holds a 4-1 lead in the all-time series, including a 9-0 (5 inn.) win the latest meeting March 13, 2002.
IPFW: The Mastodons entered Monday with a 14-6 overall record and are slated to close play in the Aces Invitational later in the day with games versus Murray State and host Evansville ... On Sunday, IPFW scored a 7-2 win at Evansville, before suffering a 1-0 loss to Murray State ... Larissa Franklin, a teammate of Ball State's Jennifer Gilbert on the Canadian National Team, leads the squad with a .477 batting average and 21 runs scored ... In the circle, Miranda Kramer paces the squad with an 8-3 record, 115 strikeouts and 1.37 ERA over 71.1 innings of work ... The Mastodons are batting .275 as a team, while limiting opponents to a .202 rate of success ... Ball State holds an 8-5 lead in the all-time series after the squads split a April 3, 2013 doubleheader in Fort Wayne ... The Cardinals won the first game 3-1, before suffering a 3-1 loss in the nightcap.
SAVANNAH STATE: The Lady Tigers enter the week with an 8-9 overall record after going 4-0 at the HBCU Classic Tiny Laster Tournament held March 1-2 ... Savannah State scored wins over Alabama State (8-2), Mississippi Valley State (4-1), Alabama A&M (4-2) and Grambling State (11-8) at the two-day event ... Torrian Wright leads the Lady Tigers with a .366 batting average and four home runs ... Amanda McHowell is SSU's top pitcher with a 4-3 record, 5.79 ERA and 47 strikeouts over 56.0 innings of work .... The Lady Tigers are batting .279 as a team, while holding opponents to a .247 average ... Ball State and Savannah State will be meeting for the first time in softball.
► LEADING THE NATION: Jennifer Gilbert enters the week as the NCAA Division I active career leader in both RBI (206) and runs scored (182) ... She is also second among active NCAA Division I players with 62 career home runs, trailing only Oklahoma junior Lauren Chamberlain who blasted four long balls last weekend to raise her career total to 66.
► CHASING THE CANADIAN RECORD: While she only has an slim chance of breaking the NCAA career record of 90 home runs, Jennifer Gilbert needs just four long balls to become the NCAA career home run leader among Canadian-born players ... The current title of Canada's top NCAA softball slugger is held by Jen Yee who racked up 65 career home runs while playing for Niagara (2006-07) and Georgia Tech (2009-10) ... Ironically, Gilbert and Yee are currently teammates on the Canadian Senior Women's National Team and helped guide the squad to a silver medal at the VII Women's Pan American Championship (Aug. 10-18) in San Juan, Puerto Rico.
► RACKING UP THE AWARDS: The Ball State softball team continues to dominate the league's weekly awards, picking up at least one honor in four of the five weeks of play this season, while sweeping the honors twice (Feb. 10 & March 3) ... Jennifer Gilbert has been named MAC West Division Player of the Week twice this season (Feb. 24 & March 3), while Kelsey Schifferdecker has picked up a pair of MAC West Division Pitcher of the Week honors (Feb. 10 & 17) ... Senior first baseman Taylor Rager earned player of the week accolades Feb. 10, while sophomore Nicole Steinbach garnered pitcher of the week March 3 ... Last season, the Cardinals had at least one MAC weekly award winner in 10 of its 12 weeks of play, including sweeping the awards five times.
► THE RAGER FACTOR: In addition to being the program's record holder for career double plays turned at 54, Taylor Rager is also quickly climbing up BSU's career offensive charts ... Based on the strength of her .404 batting average this season, Rager is currently fourth in program history with a .355 career batting average ... Her 30 career home runs rank third in BSU annals, while both her 148 career RBI and 46 career doubles are fourth.
► WALK IT OUT: Taylor Rager enters the week ranked seventh in MAC history with 92 career walks, including four this season ... In addition, senior third baseman Audrey Bickel is tied for 19th on the league's career walks chart at 77, including five in 2014 ... The only other active MAC player ranked in the top 20 on the league's career walks chart is Ohio senior Raven King with 84 career free passes.
► Ball State posted a 3-0 win at then-No. 3 Arizona State March 2, marking the highest-ranked opponent the Cardinals have defeated since a 2-1 victory at then-No. 3 Missouri March 19, 2010.
► Briana Evans led the Cardinals with a .550 (11-for-12) batting average over the team's seven games in the state of Arizona ... Of her 11 hits, seven were infield singles and one was a double ... Evans currently leads the Cardinals with a .467 batting average this season.
► Junior left fielder Loren Cihlar remains the top base stealer in program history based on percentage, with a .926 (25-for-27) rate of success ... She is 5-for-5 in stolen base attempts this season, earning her first swipe of the year versus Virginia Tech (Feb. 16).
► After serving mainly as a pinch hitter/runner last season, sophomore Emily Dabkowski has stepped nicely into the starting role at second base for the Cardinals in 2014 ... She has reached base safely in all but one of the Cardinals' 16 games this season and drove in what proved to be the game-winning run versus No. 3 Arizona State (March 2) with a two-out RBI single through the left side in the top of the seventh inning ... Dabkowski also showed a flair for the dramatic versus Murray State (Feb. 22), blasting an eighth inning walk-off two-run home run over the left-center field wall to give BSU the 5-3 victory.
► Audrey Bickel blasted a double in each of Ball State's games at No. 7 Arizona last Tuesday ... Bickel enters the week rank second on the squad with seven doubles so far this season ... Bickel's previous career high for doubles in a season in nine, which she recorded in both 2011 and 2012.
► Of the Cardinals' nine position starters, six are batting .388-or-better this season ... Eight different players have blasted at least one home run for Ball State this season, with Jennifer Gilbert leading the way with six and Emily Dabkowski following at three.
► Jennifer Gilbert enters the week averaging 1.31 runs and 1.31 RBI per game, with 21 in each category over the first 16 games ... Emily Dabkowski has scored 19 runs (1.19 per game) and tallied 17 RBI (1.06 per game) this season ... Ball State the only team in the MAC with two players averaging over 1.0 runs and 1.0 RBI per game.
► In four at bats this season, sophomore pitcher/outfielder Sammi Cowger has collected three doubles and two RBI ... In the circle, Cowger leads the squad with a 2.33 ERA and has racked up a 1-0 record and a save ... Over 9.0 innings of work, Cowger has collected six strikeouts and limited opposing batters to a .156 average.
► Eight of the nine players in Ball State's projected lineup this week have at least one career home run, with seven of them going yard at least once this season.
► Senior first baseman Lauren Schroeder blasted her fifth career home run to complete the walk-off, run rule victory over Texas A&M-Corpus Christi (Feb. 8) ... Of her five career home runs, one has been a two-run shot, three have been three-run blast, while the fifth was a walk-off grand slam to cap last season's run rule of Butler ... Of the nine active players with at least one home run, Schroeder is the only one to not have a solo blast.
► Uniform Watch 2014: Ball State enters the week with a 6-1 record in its white uniform, a 5-3 mark in its black uniform and a 1-0 ledger in its grey uniform ... The Cardinals have yet to play in the red uniforms, which are packed for the spring break trip.


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A flood warning was issued late Monday night for the Fox River in Waukesha.
At 10:15 p.m. Monday, the stage was 6.5 feet. Flood stage is 6.0 feet.
VIDEO: Northwest side Milwaukee rain
VIDEO: Flooding near 54th, Capitol
WISN 12 News viewers reported seeing larger-than-quarter size hail in around the area, including Elkhorn, Burlington and Racine.
The views expressed are not those of this site, this station or its affiliated companies. By posting your comments you agree to accept our terms of use.blog comments powered by Disqus


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Despite the indefinite postponement of the Eastern Sports and Outdoor Show in Harrisburg, which had been scheduled to open today, Jaffa Shrine Chairman Rex Johnsonbaugh said the Jaffa Shrine is standing firm and organizers will not restrict any vendors at its annual sports show, scheduled for Feb. 22-24.
"As a person, as a Shrine, we fully believe in our constitutional rights, no matter what they are," Johnsonbaugh said. "We are in full support of the Second Amendment of the Constitution."
"Our agenda is already set. ... We don't worry about the rest of the sports show groups," he said.
Article Photos
Mirror file photo by Gary M. Baranec
Mike Bollinger from Big Sky Outfitters based in Broadus, Mont., answers questions about hunting trips to his state for muledeer last February during the Jaffa Shrine Center's annual outdoors show.
Two weeks ago Reed Exhibitions, the England-based events company that organizes the Harrisburg show, the largest outdoor show in America, at the Farm Show Complex, unexpectedly announced a ban on the sale and display of military-style assault rifles and high-capacity magazines.
The company's President for the Americas Chet Burchett told news outlets the decision was "simply a product decision" to preserve a focus on hunting and fishing and prevent negative attention.
Reed's Senior Vice President Ed Several said the decision was made in consideration of the Newtown, Conn., school shooting and ongoing gun control debate.
"We thought, 'Let's take a break for a year,'" he said.
The ban would have affected only five vendors out of 1,200, according to several sources.
But vendors didn't see it as a "product decision" and threatened a boycott. Within days, more than a fifth of the show's 1,200 vendors had pulled out, and on Jan. 24, Reed announced the postponement.
Mirror outdoors columnist Walt Young said although military-style semi-automatic rifles aren't permitted for hunting in Pennsylvania, hunters from other states use them, and the boycott was more about taking a stand on gun rights.
"It hit a real nerve," Young said.
He added the Harrisburg show's postponement "might be a death knell" for that event and it would take a long time for Reed Exhibitions to heal its wounds and draw vendors and attendees back to the show.
Johnsonbaugh said the Jaffa show's gun exhibitors represent only a small number of the more than 130 vendors. About half of the vendors are hunting- or firearm-related though, he said.
"Our show is geared toward our community and "involves multiple types of outdoorsmen, including hunters, fishers and campers, he said.
A National Rifle Association spokesperson will be attending the show to present seminars about the group and issues facing hunters and gun owners.
Johnsonbaugh said he expects to draw 14,000 people to the show, and said many attendees decide to come back later to explore the region.
While having one fewer competitor might be a good thing, he said he wishes the Harrisburg show was still happening.
"On a personal level, it's a shame, No. 1, that [Reed] took that standpoint, but also that things are changing" and influencing companies like Reed to make the decisions they did.
Mirror Staff Writer Kelly Cernetich is at 946-7520.


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How to Make an Art Portfolio for Kids
Do you have a lot of artwork from your kiddos? We sure do. A great way to keep it all nice and safe (as well as be able to look at it instead of cramming it in a box) is to make an Art Portfolio. Its so easy and so fun. Your kiddo can decorate it any way they choose, and you can look at the precious artwork whenever you want.
Want more activities? Sign up for our Newsletter (over on the right⇒⇒) to receive weekly email updates every time we add a new activity. Plus, get an ebook filled with over 40 Nursery Rhymes just for signing up.
Have you tried this activity? Let us know how you liked it in the comments below.
- 3 Ring Binder
- Sheet Protectors
- Camera
- Artwork
- Markers and Stickers
- Decorate the outside of the binder with the markers and stickers.
- Fill it with sheet protectors.
- Use these to keep your child's artwork.
- If it is a big project, take a picture and put the photo in the sheet protector. (If it's digital, you can blow it up and print it on regular paper so it fits.)
- Great for when you refrigerator fills up.
Submitted by Diane Eblin- Th... (not verified) on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 14:39 Permalink
Wish I had this before
This is a great idea and I wish I would have had that when my kids were little. I think I still have a box of art around somewhere. I guess it's never too late!
Submitted by mum on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 20:28 Permalink
Thank you!
You are right, Diane. It is never too late. If you still have the artwork, at least. I'm just starting the artwork collection with Max, so I have a feeling I am going to have a lot of portfolios.
~Tia (Mum)


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Bronga repeats academic all-district award
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A first-team all-district recipient for the second straight year, Bronga earned the honor with her 3.99 overall GPA in civil engineering. The East Anchorage High School product was the Rocky Mountain Intercollegiate Ski Association women's Nordic MVP in 2012 and skied to her fourth career All-America finish at NCAAs.
Part of the Capital One/CoSIDA Academic All-America program, the 'at-large' teams consists of student-athletes in sports other than soccer, basketball, baseball, softball, volleyball, football, cross country or track & field.
As an all-district selection, Bronga now advances to the national ballot for a chance to repeat her 2010-11 Academic All-America status.
2011-12 Capital One/CoSIDA Academic All-District 8 'At-Large' Team
NCAA Div. II – Women
Claire Pierce (Water Polo) Cal St. East Bay, Jr., Perth, Australia, 3.79, Kinesiology
Shelby Hooper (Golf) Chico State, Sr., Incline Village, NV, 3.93, Business
Christie Lau (Tennis) Cal State LA, Jr., Chino Hills, CA, 3.88, Kinesiology-Exercise Sci.
Emily Adamczyk (Swimming) UC San Diego, Jr., Altadena, CA, 3.34, Biology
Megan Northey (Crew) Western Washington, Sr., Brier, WA, 3.92, Kinesiology
Jaime Bronga (Skiing) Alaska Anchorage, Sr., Anchorage, AK, 3.99, Civil engineering
Spencer Heller (Golf) Sonoma State, Jr., Turlock, CA, 3.74, Kinesiology
Mary Hanson (Swimming) Cal Baptist, So., Ridgecrest, CA, 3.93, Engineering
Marit Rjabov (Skiing) Alaska Fairbanks, Jr., Voru, Estonia, 3.91, Psychology
Alexandria Taylor (Golf) Western Washington, Sr., Sammamish, WA, 3.78, Mathematics
Nikki Smart (Water Polo) Cal St. Monterey Bay, Sr., Clovis, CA, 3.35, Kinesiology
Jackie Walters (Water Polo) Cal St. Monterey Bay, Jr., San Diego, CA, 3.51, Kinesiology


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Top Definition
see cunt, fish mitten, snatch.. etc..
Her squish mitten was drippin after I pulled out my fingers..
by D.J.H. August 31, 2005
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
An exceptionally warm and cozy vagina.
That girl's squish mitten felt as good as warm apple pie.
by lambaa August 07, 2008
a term used when refering to a woman's vagina. see also Quiver Bone
I put my quiver bone in her squish mitten
by otsego December 10, 2007
Another name for the vagina. Of course getting its name from the soft squishy feeling, and mitten.... well because things go in there.
After I was done with her squish-mitten, I came in her face.
by iplaywithsquirls October 18, 2006
Quite simply a vagina. This comes from how it fits around you like a squishy mitten.
How'd your date go? I beat the squishmitten up all night.
by Lewisville Slugga February 25, 2010
whisker biscuit
i slapped her squish mitten with my pork sword
by bbc123456 March 31, 2009
a vagina, pussy, or any other connotation you can think of.
Nordaby can get squish mitten any day of the week.
by Jammal Taylor April 28, 2008


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From Mirror reports
As a sophomore, Altoona Area High School's Ryan Steinbugl finished seventh in the state in the Class AAA pole vault, but he missed out on a chance to improve on that last season when he was overcome by cramping calves at the District 6 championships.
Steinbugl is ready to head back to Shippensburg University's Seth Grove Stadium with a vengeance.
Based on the 15-foot, 4-inch height he cleared at last week's 6-AAA meet, Steinbugl is the top seed in the PIAA Track and Field Championships, which will be held on Friday and Saturday. The seedings were announced via the PIAA website on Sunday afternoon and are compiled entirely on performances at the respective district meets; Steinbugl has achieved as high as 15-10 this spring.
Although the Mirror coverage area didn't produce as many top-eight - the achievement needed to medal - seeds as usual, Steinbugl was one of four local top-three seeds.
Bellwood-Antis' four-by-400-meter relay is ranked second in Class AA, just seven-tenths of a second off the pace of West Philadelphia Catholic. In addition, Blue Devil triple jumper Jeremy Claypoole is ranked second to Schuylkill Valley's Jared Horne after his personal-record of 45-8.25 at districts; the event is filled with area seeds, with Chestnut Ridge's Michael Young fourth and Cambria Heights' Zack Prohonic and Northern Bedford's Tayler Pressel tied in the eighth spot.
Ridge's Matt Dull, like his teammate Young, will be shooting to medal for the second straight year. Dull is seeded third in the Class AA 300 hurdles and also is 11th in the 110 hurdles.
Zach Pressel, Tayler's twin brother, also is going for a repeat medal and is seeded fourth in the Class AA high jump. Pressel's Northern Bedford teammate Justin Baker and Tyrone's Charles Wilson-Adams are part of a three-way tie for the seventh seed. Wilson-Adams has jumped 6-10 and 6-8 several times this year, which would put him in the mix for the gold medal.
Altoona's DeShae Lee is seeded in a 10-way tie for sixth in the high jump in Class AAA.
Bellwood could have two relay teams medal, as its 400 team is ranked sixth. Altoona's four-by-800 relay and Tyrone javelin thrower Corey Snyder are just outside the top eight, sitting in the ninth position in their respective events in Class AAA and AA.
The best opportunities for area medals on the girls side are in the Class AA 3200-meter run and the Class AA pole vault. Central Cambria's Alyssa Brandis is seeded fifth in the two-mile run, and Northern Bedford's Maria Snyder, while ranked 20th by her District 5 meet time, is the defending PIAA runner-up and has posted results that would figure to put her in the top three if she could match them.
Brandis also is part of an eighth-ranked Lady Red Devil four-by-800 relay.
Bedford's Carrie Baker and Everett's Keira Bair, meanwhile, are tied for sixth in the pole vault.


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UNIVERSITY PARK -- Silas Redd loves PlayStation 3, and he's sending out a challenge.
"I'm calling it. Anybody want to play me in PS3, any sports game -- doesn't matter, hockey or whatever -- I'll beat you,'' Redd said.
Penn State football players beware, Redd is bringing his video games to University Park. Nittany Lion opponents, he's bringing his football game with him.
Redd, the highly-touted 5-foot-10, 191-pound prep running back from Stamford, Conn., scheduled a meeting with Coach Joe Paterno first thing this morning to give the Lions his verbal commitment. Redd and his parents were in State College Saturday for the Nike Football Training Camp and stayed overnight so he could make his pledge.
"I'm glad he's one of my guys,'' Sto-Rox quarterback Paul Jones, who committed to Penn State in January, said of Redd.
Redd is the fourth recruit in a 2010 class expected to number around 18.
Redd's father, also named Silas, possesses an iron handshake that his son calls the "grip of death,'' and it seems Penn State long had just as firm a hold on the younger Redd. The Lions had been considered the heavy front-runner for quite a while to secure Redd's services over Boston College, Stanford, Oregon and seven other programs that offered him scholarships.
"I've been wanting to go here since I was 7. Why? I don't know. But getting the scholarship was a dream come true,'' Redd said. "One of my first Pop Warner coaches went here, played here, and I guess he just instilled in me when I was a young kid that I like Penn State, and it just stuck.''
In fact, Redd's room is decorated with Nittany Lion memorabilia.
"I've got a few posters, a few autographs here and there. I've got LaVar Arrington's autograph, Ki-Jana Carter, Chuck Fusina,'' Redd said. "My coach would get me the paraphernalia. I've been coming to camps here since eighth grade.''
Scout.com rates Redd as the No. 14 running back in the country, and Rivals.com has him as a four-star recruit. Last season, Redd, an extremely-muscular back who has timed at 4.42 seconds in the 40-yard dash and is best known for his foot quickness and change of direction, rushed for 1,350 yards and 14 touchdowns on 122 carries for King & Low Heywood-Thomas High School.
"He's very agile, quick. He never stops running. He flies out,'' said Stamford High School's Khairi Fortt, one of the top-ranked linebackers in the nation and Redd's workout partner back home. "I didn't get to go up against him in the one-on-one drills [Saturday], but I knew that was going to be a fight. He's very quick.''
Fortt also described Redd as a very motivated, determined competitor, mentioning how Redd passed up an invitation to the U.S. Army All-American Combine as a defensive back because he was adamant on playing offense at the next level. Penn State, in fact, initially recruited him as a cornerback, and Redd said the Lion coaches' decision to take him as a running back played a big part in his early commitment.
"The only thing that was holding me back before was that they were going to stick me at corner,'' Redd said. "I'm better on the offensive side of the ball. I guess they went over some film and said, 'Hey, we like this guy at running back.'''
The 17-year-old Redd, who plans to major in business and eventually get a master's degree in finance, said another factor in pulling the trigger so early was so he can better enjoy his senior year without the stress of recruiting. Like Jones, Redd plans to enroll at Penn State in January.
Redd is a former lacrosse and basketball player. When he's not playing, he said he likes the performing arts, spending time with his friends and girlfriend and watching movies. However, he's at least got one new activity on his plate now -- getting Fortt to join him.
"I work on him everyday. We're good, good friends. I'm always in his ear saying, 'Hey, I know you want to go to Penn State. You're just too scared to say it,''' Redd said. "I think I got him.''
For more on Saturday's Nike Training Camp at Penn State, please see Philip Cmor's blog.


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Gov. signs bills to help veterans
Gov. Susana Martinez signed bills into law on Tuesday designed to support New Mexico's veterans and their families.
One is designed to help recent military and veteran transplants and their spouses land New Mexico jobs quicker.
Martinez also signed House Bill 175 that allows a member of the armed forces deployed for more than 30 days to suspend utilities and municipal services without having to pay a reconnection fee after returning home.
"We have to do everything we can for our heroes, to make life easier when they to drop everything and move to another state or move to another country to protect our rights here in America," said Martinez.
The governor signed a third bill that creates a scholarship fund for military war veterans.
Copyright 2013 by KOAT.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


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Top Definition
Long term relationship is a common, contemporary term for intimate interpersonal relationships that may be lifelong and may or may not consist in marriage. Long term relationships are considered the opposite of casual relationships, which tend to be short in duration. The notation "LTR" is used to designate "long term relationship" in "personals" advertisements. When a long term relationship that is neither a marriage nor a civil union ends and both partners have a financial interest in the relationship, a suit for palimony may be filed by one or both of the partners. This is especially the case when one of the partners is wealthy or a gaylord.
I have been in a long-term relationship with my boyfrined for 2 years.
بواسطة Puerto Rican Italian Mami نوفمبر/تشرين الثّاني 23, 2006
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
more than 2 months
me and my ex only lasted for 2 days thats not a long term relationship


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Stage and television actor and writer Esther Chae is not afraid of adventure, having climbed the Indian Himalayas, Mt Kilimanjaro and Machu Picchu, among other epic journeys. Here, she shares with the Fellows blog an unusual teaching experience that took her into an altogether different context for her craft, and changed her perspective on the importance of film, acting, and art. Chae recently closed a performance of Extraordinary Chambers, in which she portrayed a survivor of the Khmer Rouge, in San Diego, and is currently developing her one-woman show, So the Arrow Flies – about an alleged North Korean spy interrogated by the FBI – as a feature film.
A few years ago, TED Fellow Kyra Gaunt asked me to write about my experience teaching in Abuja, Nigera, to include in her e-book, "The Audacity of Humanity." I'd like to share it here on the TED Fellows Blog since it is one of the rare moments my limits both as an explorer and actor (acting teacher in this case) were tested at the same time. There is a strong correlation between the two: both require one to stay vigilantly present in the moment, to be open to unexpected challenges and to persist through that uncomfortable place of extreme vulnerability. That compound effect was intense.
How on earth did I end up here in Africa…?
That's what I was thinking as a howling sandstorm ravaged Abuja, Nigeria. With bandanas covering our faces and sunglasses protecting our eyes, we stepped outside the classrooms. We looked like a group of bandits about to rob a bank, not fancy artists sent to teach filmmaking. As my students were rehearsing their assigned scenes, I suddenly felt like Coolio, singing in my head how kids in the hood had been spending most their lives living in the Gang-sta's Paradise. I felt like I was in some intense music video and I needed to rap my way through it.
In the spring of 2010, I was part of a group of American teachers who were "planed over" to help build Nigeria's first official film academy. I was hired to teach Acting for Film. Somehow I missed the memo that I was going to be playing Michelle Pfeiffer's tough character in the Nollywood (Nigeria's version of Hollywood) edition of Dangerous Minds, teaching "gangster rebels." Craft service and make up were certainly not on this set, though.
The makeshift film school was located in an abandoned governmental structure, and the water stopped and electricity went out every day (but not at the same time). This was a stress factor for this gal who was trained (and tortured) under her über-fastidious Korean mom. I could see Mom tsk-tsking, shaking her head at me. "Now look at where your horse traveling spirit has brought you to. And this place, so dirty!"
In the first few days following our arrival, one of the African-American teachers, who was overwhelmed to be "back" in Africa for the first time, broke down in class. He was so excited about and focused on teaching his students, he did not even notice those sandstorms. He lost his voice and then got a sinus infection from the dust. I had to take over his class on top of my already five-class load that first week.
The production assistants were not doing so well, either. Not only were they younger and less experienced working in developing countries, but they did not have the benefit or gratification of working with the students. They didn't get to see the students' lightbulbs turn on and creativity flow, like we teachers did. Instead, the PAs had the harsh task of managing the expensive film equipment, which started fraying in the heat and dust, to over 200 confused students who were completely new to film production and constantly fought over time slots and camera equipment. Their duties were stressful, and it started to take a toll. I would see mounds and mounds of hard liquor bottles and cigarette packs outside their hotel room doors.
I knew Nigeria was one of the most recently volatile regions in Africa. Before going there, I had spoken with friends familiar with the area who thought tough Esther could handle it. Okay. I've trekked the Himalayan mountains in India, bamboo rafted across Thailand's rivers, and even survived tiptoeing across the frozen Neva River in Russia in the dead of winter. I could do it. I'm going to Nigeria! But when I first arrived there, I felt I'd made a huge mistake.
When our group of fifteen-some teachers from Los Angeles and New York landed, we were greeted by an equal number of uniformed guards all armed with AK-47s. They shuffled us into the vans that were waiting to take us to the the crumbling "five-star" hotel. This was not customary, but the US-affiliated film academy insisted that we – and the expensive equipment – be guarded for safety. I think I would have felt safer without the guns. The guns stayed with us the entire time we were there.
But later, I understood why. Ten days after our team of U.S. instructors had arrived, more than 500 civilians, mostly children and women, were killed at a church in the nearby city of Jos. It was surreal to watch the CNN news in the hotel lounge, knowing the brutal massacre had happened only 160 miles away from where I was standing. It was the latest in a sickening cycle of retaliation due to differing political and religious beliefs and ethnic backgrounds, all which were too complex for me, the foreign teacher, to decipher…
One of the screenwriting students mentioned that the Nigerian press reported that the US Film Academy teachers were there to rehabilitate the rebels of the Niger Delta region. The Niger Delta region is the southeastern area between Lagos and Cameroon, home to nine Nigerian tribes whose land contains vast reserves of oil. The area had become a scene of horrific bloodshed and violence as the conflict between disenfranchised populations, oil conglomerates, and the government played out. Apparently, many of our students, who were former rebels from that region, were fully funded by the Niger Delta government to come to this Film Academy for "rehabilitation."
Well, that was helpful information. No wonder some of the students looked so completely lost and confused! The students all had stories of how they'd found themselves at the film academy: cousins who'd applied on their behalf, church pastors who'd reached out, radio advertisements they'd heard while driving. Those students wanted to learn filmmaking. But the other students from the Niger Delta region had been granted scholarships to go to Abuja and had no idea what they were doing or what they were in for. These students were "rebels" indeed. I would like to imagine they were the ones who had the opportunity to actually defy violence and conflict in their region, the ones who'd traveled from far and further afar to Abuja to learn filmmaking, acting, editing and animation. They were eager 20-somethings desperate for a creative outlet to spread their war-weary wings and fly. Hopefully we teachers could help them arm themselves with art and the power of storytelling. Their pens had to be mightier than the sword. They were now rebels without machetes or guns but with pens, scripts and acting in hand. I had to show up for them, however fatigued, uncomfortable and confused I was.
The sandstorm eventually subsided. The AC started working again, and we picked up where we'd left off. As I walked around the classroom checking in with my students, I heard the song beats of "Gangsta's Paradise" in my head again. I smiled as my "rebel students" rehearsed their scenes, hoping to fulfill my role as the inspirational teacher that they'd never forget. I hoped many of them would become the Nouvelle Vague of Nigerian cinema, if not civic leaders who questioned their current political and social circumstances through the arts and storytelling. It was in that moment that I figured out the how and why I ended up in Africa. I was there as both a teacher in front of the class and a student of this particular life experience.


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LORETTO - A cash reward for information leading to an arrest in the investigation of a slain bald eagle has increased to more than $5,000.
Officials hope a $250 reward from the Pennsylvania Game Commission and a $5,000 reward from The Humane Society of the United States and Humane Society Wildlife Trust will lead to information about the slain bird, which was discovered May 10 in Allegheny Township, Cambria County.
A group of passing ATV riders discovered the injured bald eagle in a field near Lincoln Road and Sharpe Road, said Tom Fazi, Game Commission Southwest Region education officer.
Wildlife Conservation Officer Shawn Harshaw transported the bird to the state veterinary laboratory in State College, where the bald eagle later died from an apparent gunshot wound.
"I'm asking the public for help," Harshaw said in a press release. "If anyone knows or hears anything about this incident, I encourage them to call our regional office. Any information we do receive will be held in strict confidence."
"This senseless act sickens me, and I will pursue every lead to find the responsible person or persons and bring them to justice," Harshaw added.
Officials have been following leads throughout the week, and the investigation is ongoing, Fazi said.
"Everybody knows not only is it not legal, it's not right to shoot a bald eagle," Fazi said. "Everyone knows it's not the right thing to do."
Bald eagles are a threatened species in Pennsylvania. If convicted of the bird's death, the culprit could face a fine of up to $5,000 plus additional federal charges, Fazi said.
The Game Commission is monitoring an active bald eagle nest near Prince Gallitzin, but the slain eagle was not from that nest and had not been tagged by the Game Commission, Fazi said.
"They're still a threatened species in Pennsylvania," said Sarah Speed, Humane Society Pennsylvania director. "And as a national symbol, there's never an excuse for the intentional harm of a bald eagle."
"We are just thrilled that the Game Commission is taking the case so seriously," Speed said.
Anyone with information about the bald eagle shooting is encouraged to call the Game Commission's southwest regional office at 724-238-9523 or the anonymous tip hotline at 888-742-8001.
Mirror Staff Writer Zach Geiger is at 946-7535.


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This. Isn't accepting the use of the word by one race and not by another considered racist? If people want the word to be off limits then stopf****** letting others use it, "regardless of color".
I'm confused, black people call each other n***ers and its ok but if a white guy calls a black guy a n***er he should get the book thrown at him?


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Error in Figure. In the article titled "Backward Masking Performance in Unaffected Siblings of Schizophrenic Patients: Evidence for a Vulnerability Indicator" published in the May issue (1997;54:465-472), the numbers given for the x-axis in Figure 5 (on page 469) were printed incorrectly. Figure 5 is reprinted correctly here. The journal regrets the error.
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Duplex Messaging in .NET 3.5
- Posted: Jun 26, 2008 at 8:37AM
- 1 comment
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Hi Jennifer,
I am confused why Duplex is described as a communication pattern for WCF, yet to implement requires the code to set up key pieces such as Context. I would have thought that the framework would encapsulate this so that newbies like me would not have to deal with it.
Have I missed something about binding/channels that defines/establishes a servce as duplex?
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Enroll Now!
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QuickBooks Premier Contractor 2013 for Windows, Microsoft Windows 7, 8, 2000, XP, or Vista. QuickBooks Software must be installed and fully operational before the course begins. When installing the software using the Premier version, be sure to select the contractor's edition. QuickBooks Pro 2013 is acceptable for this course, but please be aware that the Pro version is missing certain features that are only available in the Contractor's Edition used in this course. The Macintosh, Simple-Start, and Online versions of QuickBooks are not supported in this course.


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Quality Education in the Benedictine Tradition
December 9, 2011
Kari Ann Maurer, senior elementary instruction and early childhood education major of Pittsburgh (15220) has been named to the 2011 edition of Who's Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges and was recognized as an outstanding campus leader during the annual Saint Vincent College Founders' Day Vespers and Honors Convocation Thursday, November 17 in the Archabbey Basilica.
Ms. Maurer, daughter of Kevin and Karen Maurer, is the founder and president of the Early Childhood Education Club and president of Best Buddies International Club. She is a member of the Activities Programming Board, Kappa Delta Pi, and orientation committee. Ms. Maurer has worked as a Challenge Camp Counselor and was on the Dean's List. She is a 2008 graduate of Bishop Canevin High School.
The Who's Who students are selected by campus nominating committees and editors of the annual directory on the basis of their academic achievement, service to the community, leadership in extracurricular activities and potential for continued success. They join an elite group of students selected from more than 2,300 institutions of higher learning in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and several foreign nations. Outstanding students have been honored in the annual directory since it was first published in 1934.
Photo: Br. Norman W. Hipps, O.S.B., left, president of Saint Vincent College, presents Who's Who Award to Kari Ann Maurer.


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Youth and parents supporting drug-free fun have organized NEO Fridays, when stores and restaurants in western Nevada County offer discounts.
The program also supports local businesses during a tough economy, and offers families and youth an inexpensive way to have drug-free fun.
Recently, NEO organized a sandwich-eating contest at Port of Subs and a Wii dance party at Keva Juice in Grass Valley, and an evening of pizza at Miner Moe's followed by board games at Cafe Mekka in Nevada City.
More NEO Friday events are planned:
• March 18: Movie night at Blockbuster Video, 736 Taylorville Road, Grass Valley, (530) 271-0628. A current movie, to be announced, will be shown for free on the store's large-screen, Blu-ray television. The event is from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m., free popcorn and candy will be served, and candy will be available for purchase. Bring blankets and pillows.
• March 25: Dance party and night miniature golf at 49er Family Fun Park, starting at 7:30 p.m., 314 Railroad Ave., Grass Valley; (530) 272-4949.
More activities are being organized for April.
The program is hosted by NEO, the youth outreach arm of Coalition for a Drug-Free Nevada County. The main goal of NEO Fridays is to give youth another choice for living a healthy lifestyle. We hear a lot of youth say there's nothing to do, and if there is something going on, it costs too much money.
Businesses that support NEO Fridays will give discounts to anyone wearing a NEO T-shirt who comes into their stores on Fridays
Businesses including Good Times Board Store, Caroline's Coffee and Tour of Nevada City Bike Shop were quick to jump on board with this new idea of making their businesses more youth friendly by participating in NEO Fridays. This helps create a positive relationship between youth and adults in the community, reduces youth isolation by providing a place for youth to go, and helps prevent drug and alcohol abuse.
"Most of the time when kids come into the shop, they tell me that they aren't riding their bike because it has a flat tire, and they can't afford the $5 to purchase a tube to fix it," said Tour of Nevada City owner Duane Strawser.
Now, youth wearing their NEO shirt into Tour of Nevada City on Fridays can now pick up a free bicycle inner-tube and get 10 percent off anything that they purchase in the store.
"We offer a free movie rental to anyone wearing their NEO shirt every Friday and invite you to our monthly movie nights every third Friday of the month," added Blockbuster store manager Sonia Britt.
To participate and receive discounts, patrons must be wearing a NEO T-shirt. They are sold for $12 at the events and at Make Local Habit, 122 Mill St., downtown Grass Valley. The store is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Friday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, and 12 to 4 p.m. Sunday; (530) 477-5100.
Grass Valley resident Halli Ellis is the NEO youth coordinator and also works at the Lyman Gilmore After School Program. For more information about NEO, visit www.ncneo.com or call (530) 273-7956.


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Kuan Yin (also known as Quan Yin or Guan Yin), the bodhisattva of compassion, is depicted here in the aspect of Universal Mother. The Kuan Yin with Baby statue is handcrafted of durable resin and finished with a warm cream colored glaze that resembles antique ivory. Made in the USA.
2" w x 1 1/2" d x 4" h
Order any time: 800.794.9862 . FAX 978.620.1352 . www.dharmacrafts.com Contact Customer Service©2000 - 2016 DharmaCrafts, Inc.


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Well, I am so sick of this whining about the lack of movement at the deadline, but it's going to keep on flooding in with abundance. I haven't seen a deal happen yet this year that I felt like if Detroit had made it, they would be in better enough shape to make a Cup run to outweigh the worse shape they would be in going forward. And LA did win it last year. Deal with it. But, but, but, boo freaking hoo, bingo bango all you want. It happened last year. Edmonton made it to the Cup finals and took it to 7 games in 2006 as an 8 seed. And, it remains a possibility this year.
Pittsburgh just lost 4-1 at home to Buffalo. I don't think the Pens have a chance now! They clearly suck terribly. Oh wait - that's just one game and is totally not indicative of the season and even less so of the yet to happen playoffs.
given last years playoffs performance, it actually may be indicitive of what may be in store for the pens


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Top Definition
Online alias of the owner of Goshi-Dan's Arcade. He makes his own video games in his spare time and whatnot.
Some kid: OMFG I wish I could make games like that Kitsune Yamato guy!
Other kid: STFU NOOB.
Other kid: STFU NOOB.
viết bởi Kitsune Yamato Keitsuken 17 Tháng mười một, 2004
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?


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Monday, December 23, 2013
Hannah Manzi, a student at Academic Magnet and a vegetarian, strives to make healthy eating choices. So buying the school lunch in the cafeteria hasnt been an option for her for a while.
This fall she decided to see if she could change that. For her senior thesis, she worked with the cafeteria staff, the head of Charleston County School District Food Services and Dr. Ann Kulze to devise a plan to implement healthy lunch choices at her school.
She created a new cafeteria lunch menu to sell to students once a week for six weeks. One day each week she set up build your own food bars. Different choices were offered each week and varied from salad and burritos to sweet potatoes and pasta. A yogurt bar was included also. Students had multiple choices for toppings, sauces and dressings.
Dr. Kulze helped her with recipes and ideas on what items to serve. She worked with Walter Campbell, head of CCSD Food Services to order, prepare, cut up and cook the food. The school cafeteria manager and staff also assisted in preparing the food.
The sweet potato bar included items such as asparagus, cinnamon, honey and brown sugar. The salad bar contained option like Romaine lettuce, mesclun greens, black beans, sunflower seeds, carrots, croutons, tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, Mandarin oranges and a choice of healthy dressings.
She named her lunch venture Happy Belly Foods, and approximately 450 students were served. The once-a week healthy lunch option averaged 76 customers a week.
Well use Hannahs research on what kids like as far as healthy food choices go as we roll out new lunch choices from school to school next year, Campbell said. The district food services is testing entire new menus for next year. Students really want a salad bar. We learned that from Hannahs research. They will be serving Salanova lettuce, a very nutritious lettuce locally grown by Jimmy Cobb at his farm in Reevesville.
Hannahs project created a lot of buzz. It showed us what students will buy, Campbell added. Even if a students only buys the school lunch once a week, its good.
Helping others
The majority of the food was purchased through Charleston County School District (CCSD) Food Services, and a profit of around $1,000 resulted from the project. When Campbell learned that Manzi was going to donate any profits she made from selling the food, he donated the cost of the food, making it possible for Hannah to give a check to Crisis Ministries. This charity focuses on easing hunger in the Lowcountry and is also looking to offer healthier choices.
There are a lot of tongs to this fork,said Judith Peterson, principal of Academic Magnet High School. What these theses are meant to do is to connect kids to the real world through research and betterment.
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This is an image of the brief trial scene (III.vi.35-56) in which Lear, sheltering from the storm in a hovel with three other outcasts, imagines his daughters are before a judicial bench on trial for their cruelty to him. This seeming hallucination is the nearest Lear comes to real madness and it is very significant that these 21 lines are dropped from the First Folio's revised text:
Lear. I'll see their trial first.--Bring in their evidence.
[To Edgar.] Thou, robed man of justice, take thy place;--
[To the Fool.] And thou, his yokefellow of equity,
Bench by his side:--[To Kent.] you are o' the commission,
Sit you too.
Edgar. Let us deal justly.
Sleepest or wakest thou, jolly shepherd?
Thy sheep be in the corn;
And for one blast of thy minikin mouth
Thy sheep shall take no harm.
Purr! the cat is gray.
Lear. Arraign her first; 'tis Goneril. I here take my oath before
this honourable assembly, she kicked the poor king her father.
Fool. Come hither, mistress. Is your name Goneril?
Lear. She cannot deny it.
Fool. Cry you mercy, I took you for a joint-stool.
Lear. And here's another, whose warp'd looks proclaim
What store her heart is made on.--Stop her there!
Arms, arms! sword! fire!--Corruption in the place!--
False justicer, why hast thou let her 'scape?
Adrian Noble, director; Anthony Ward as designer; Simon Russell Beale as Edgar; Robert Stephens as Lear; Ian Hughes as the Fool;David Calder as Earl of Kent. "Designer Anthony Ward provides a stunning, increasingly potent image of disintegrating humanity with a monumental globe suspended within suggested mountain ranges, sometimes wreathed in etheric blues and vaporous clouds, at others a blood red aura emanating from its rim when this most violent of plays is at its height. Heart-stoppingly, just before the interval, it cracks open to release a stream of sand steadily trickling to the ground." Carole Woddis, What's On 26.5.93. Donald Cooper : photographer: courtesy of ahds.rhul.ac.uk; Designing Shakespeare Collection.


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Report (in print)
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State of the World's Volunteerism Report 2011
The first State of the World's Volunteerism Report (SWVR) by the United Nations Volunteers (UNV) programme was launched at the United Nations General Assembly in New York, United States, on 5 December 2011 and about 80 countries around the world.
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8 Criminals Who Took Dumbassery to Staggering Heights
Sometimes I ponder trying my hand at being a criminal mastermind. Like if I really stopped to think about it, couldn't I pull off a really great heist? The reason most criminals get caught is probably lack of planning. For instance, how many people just commit a robbery instead of a heist? The moment it becomes a heist, you've really elevated the whole scene. It's like Crunch Berries in your Cap'n Crunch -- that stuff was just half a bowl of manky sugar shit previously, and now it's a goddamn meal. But then I read about dummies like these people, and I think maybe I'll just start getting stupider as I commit my crimes and it'll be hopeless.
#8. Driver's License Thief
Daniel Kaesler/iStock/Getty Images
Let's roleplay (for you Aussie and/or Kiwi ladies, you keep what you're thinking under your hat and we'll chat later on Twitter. I'll get my schoolgirl uniform ready). I want you to pretend you're underage and wanting to get drunk. You're a bit of a shady troublemaker, not above committing crimes, and you're also desperately, hopelessly stupid. Like if a scientist was looking at your brain, he might call in a colleague just so other people could marvel at how dumb you are. So it goes without saying that you're also at Applebee's. Now, how do you get a drink?
If you answered use a stolen ID, you're still not thinking dumb enough. No scientist is marveling at how misshapen and useless your lobes are. No, what you meant to say is use an ID stolen from the waitress who is currently serving you. Yes, that's quite stupid.
This circus of buffoonery occurred in Lakewood, Colorado, when a waitress lost her ID, only to have it turn up again two weeks later when a customer came into the Applebee's where she worked and handed it right to her while ordering drinks. The waitress acted quickly, not even wiping the drool off of the card, and just handed it back to the exceptionally shitty identity thief before going to call the cops.
#7. Epic Petty Theft
AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images
Some people seem to be so lucky in life that you'd swear their asses were packed with horseshoes. These are the kinds of people who win the lottery twice. Some people, conversely, never seem to catch a break. These guys get a new job, then break both legs on the first day. And then there are people like John Fletcher, who spent 23 out of 24 years in prison back in the 1950s and '60s as a result of committing over 100 thefts. A hundred thefts that netted him about $150 worth of loot in total.
Fletcher's final crime spree saw him rifling through three schools only six days after getting out of prison and stealing a whopping $3.60. I've walked through schools and accidentally stolen more money than that. There's more money than that in my couch right now.
Taking pity on the world's biggest sucker, a judge gave him probation and allowed him to try to take up work as a tailor, something he'd picked up during his remarkably long previous stay in jail.
#6. LoJack Thief
Enigmangel/iStock/Getty Images
If you had to make a list of things worth stealing, way down on the bottom of that list, around Susan Boyle's panties, you'd also find a LoJack. You know, a GPS tracking device that they slap on Lohans every now and then? And if you were also listing why it's a bad idea to steal these things, you might point out that the only reason those monitors exist is to track the movements of criminals, meaning if you have it in your possession, you are being monitored by law enforcement. So it must have been after a few cans of Duster in his system that a 40-year-old man in Wisconsin spied one on someone's porch and then sticky-fingered it back to his own home.
The monitor was originally owned by someone on house arrest. She still had the ankle bracelet on, but the stolen device was sort of the central hub, the tether, if you will, that kept her grounded to her house. It stays put and she stays put. If it leaves, well, satellites track it where it goes because it's not supposed to leave.
Only two options make sense in this scenario: The thief either didn't know what he was stealing or he did. If he did, then he probably eats a lot of lead paint, because stealing something that tells police where you are is a terrible idea. If he didn't, then what kind of compulsive kleptomaniac is this man that he sees just a random device on someone's porch and decides "That thing is gonna be mines"?
#5. Take a Bat to a Gun Fight
Ivan Grlic/Hemera/Getty Images
Derrick Mosley is probably not all that bright. Like, have you ever had a cat and watched it chasing something so intently that it just ran headfirst into a wall? Imagine that moment when the cat just bounces off the wall being encapsulated inside a man. That man may very well be Derrick Mosley.
In need of some cash but lacking the brainpower to fathom a way to get it that didn't involve smashing stuff, Mosley took his baseball bat from the mantel and headed out into the world to seek his fortune. Would he pan for gold? Invent a newer, better dildo? Of course not. He would rob a store. A gun store.
As Babe Ruth rained down holy hell on a display case of unloaded guns at the store, the shopkeeper, who was packing a fully loaded one, put Mosley in his place in a way only an angry man with a lethal weapon facing down a moron with a stick can. When police arrived, Mosley was face down in some broken glass with a gun pointed at him, because obviously he was.