text:
As Immunotherapy Revolutionizes the Cancer Treatment...
Developers of DTC Genetic Testing Are...
LC-MS Gains Favor Due To the...
Wall Street Decline Takes Its Toll...
The discovery that 20,000–24,000 protein-encoding genes exist in the haploid human genome (a key finding of the Human Genome Project) fueled initiatives to map gene interactions and characterize the genetic circuitry in cells.
Radiation hybrid mapping, a strategy in which high-dose X-rays randomly introduce chromosomal breaks that shatter the DNA into tiny fragments, was initially used to generate high-resolution physical maps of the human genome.
The strength of this strategy is its ability to identify genetic markers that are close to each other. The closer two genetic markers are to each other on the chromosome, the more likely it is that they will be located on the same chromosomal fragment. Moreover, the frequency of breakage between markers can be used to reveal their order on the chromosome.
"We realized that we could ask a different question from the one that radiation panels had previously explored," says Desmond J. Smith, M.D., Ph.D., professor of molecular and medical pharmacology at University of California, Los Angeles. Dr. Smith and colleagues proposed that radiation hybrid mapping data from mammalian cells could be used to delineate genetic survival networks for proliferation.
Central to this endeavor was the concept that if an extra copy of a gene may lead to cell death, this toxic effect could be blocked by an additional copy of another, distant gene. "And if that was true, we could expect to see the two genes co-inherited more often than expected by chance in the panel of radiation hybrid cells," says Dr. Smith.
By looking at all potential pair-wise interactions between all the genes from the genome, investigators in Dr. Smith's lab delineated an unbiased network of interactions involved in cell proliferation and survival, and subsequently applied this knowledge to address a question relevant to genetic circuits that underlie malignancies. Some cancers have a survival advantage as a result of copy number changes, such as the amplification of genes that increase cell proliferation and the deletion of genes that block proliferation.
"Most investigators examined these copy number variations in isolation," says Dr. Smith. The question that investigators in Dr. Smith's lab addressed extended beyond the simple characterization of isolated copy number variations (CNVs) in cancer. "We wanted to know whether the amplification of a gene affected in cancer is accompanied by the amplification of a distant gene somewhere else in the genome," says Dr. Smith.
This strategy helped characterize the survival network of cancer cells, which is a subset of the survival network that is unveiled by the radiation hybrid data. In addition, this strategy bypassed one of the most significant challenges in characterizing copy number changes, the frequent involvement of multiple genes, which historically made it difficult to point toward the specific genes contributing to the resulting phenotypes.
"This is not the case for radiation mapping hybrid panels, where X-rays fragment the DNA and the resolution is very high," says Dr. Smith. Overlapping the cancer interaction network with the radiation hybrid network provides opportunities to better understand, at single-gene resolution, the involvement of specific genes in disease. "We hope that these networks can ultimately be exploited for cancer treatment," says Dr. Smith.
In recent years, array comparative genomic hybridization (CGH) was recommended by several professional societies as a first-line test for the prenatal detection of CNV. "But this approach suffers of low resolution, and … it misses balanced chromosomal structural variants, such as translocations and inversions," says Yu-Ping Wang, Ph.D., associate professor of biomedical engineering at Tulane University.
With the emergence of next-generation sequencing, investigators in Dr. Wang's group turned their attention toward this approach as a way to improve the accuracy of CNV detection. "Next-generation platforms can detect CNVs with a higher resolution, which is unattainable with other approaches, such as array CGH," says Dr. Wang. By using next-generation sequencing data based on a total-variation-penalized, least-squares model, the first time this statistical approach was used to analyze CNVs, Dr. Wang and colleagues developed CNV-TV (total variation). "We found this tool to provide higher accuracy and robustness for CNV detection," says Dr. Wang.
Several depth-of-coverage, next-generation sequencing strategies are currently available to detect CNVs. In a comprehensive survey comparing six publicly available platforms, Dr. Wang and colleagues revealed that each of them presents specific strengths and weaknesses. In addition, some are superior to others for specific applications, underscoring the need to integrate multiple approaches to more robustly capture genetic variation.
While most approaches focus on detecting CNVs from individual samples, or by comparing CNVs from patients with disease with those from controls, Dr. Wang and colleagues applied non-negative matrix factorization to detect recurrent CNVs within a population, and showed that two ethnic groups can be distinguished based on differences in their CNV pattern clustering. "Technically there is still room to further improve our ability to detect CNVs, and we are currently developing a strategy to detect CNVs from multiple samples," says Dr. Wang.
"Structural variants in the human genome have mostly been studied for their clinical implications, but not a lot has been done to understand the evolutionary implications of these genomic segments," says Charles Lee, Ph.D., scientific director of the newly created Jackson Laboratory for Genomic Medicine.
Work in Dr. Lee's lab showed that the copy number of the amylase-encoding gene, AMY1, is under positive evolutionary selection. Fewer copies were found in populations consuming little starch, but the copy number increased to as much as 15 per cell in individuals from populations having a high intake of this carbohydrate. In contrast to humans, only two copies of the AMY1 gene were found in cells from the chimpanzee, a species that consumes very little starch.
More recent work in Dr. Lee's lab, at the interface between structural chromosomal variants and evolution, identified an approximately 36 kB noncoding locus in the human genome containing transcribed and putatively regulatory sequences, which exhibits a copy number variant that is thought to predate the divergence, over 500,000 years ago, of the modern human and Neanderthal lineages.
While most CNVs, like single-nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs), appear to be bi-allelic in a given population, CNVs have the potential of "mutating" faster, making their analysis more challenging. "They are also often embedded in complicated regions of the human genome, enriched for repetitive DNA and other genomic rearrangements, making them difficult to accurately genotype and thereby hindering their incorporation in most genetic studies," says Dr. Lee.
While array CGH and next-generation sequencing continue to help unveil and characterize structural variants, insights into their evolution and mutation rates are accompanied by technical hurdles. "To understand how they arose, we need to accurately characterize the boundaries and content of each of these structural genomic variants at the nucleotide sequence level. We've gotten better at this over the years, especially for deletions, but we still have a ways to go for other structural variant types," says Dr. Lee.
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text:
on October 1, 2012 - 12:13 AM
, updated October 1, 2012 at 12:32 AM
In the end, you could only conclude they were messing with the Bills all along, appearing meek and looking weak and fooling them into believing Sunday was the day they would rule the schoolyard. And by the time the Bills understood what hit them, they were balled into a fetal position with blood gushing from their noses.
Tom Brady and his gang from New England, you see, were just toying with Buffalo. They allowed the Bills to land a few punches and build false confidence in the first half. And when they decided enough was enough, the Patriots pulled the Bills' jerseys over their heads, humiliated them with a noogie and pummeled them in front of their friends.
OK, so not much has changed.
"Yeah, that was really embarrassing,'' Ryan Fitzpatrick said. "We have a lot of pride in this locker room, and right now we have our tails between our legs. We got our butts kicked. Unfortunately, we've been in this situation before.''
The Pats effectively and convincingly put the Bills in their proper place, back down there, back where they belonged, with a 52-28 throttling in Ralph Wilson Stadium. The 70,684 fans started believing the gap had narrowed between the two teams in the first half, but they couldn't have been farther apart Sunday.
Forget the first 30 minutes because, well, that's precisely what the Patriots did before scoring 45 points over the final two quarters and delivering their customary beatdown. They were trailing by two touchdowns. They avoided a crisis when C.J. Spiller fumbled near the goal line late in the first half. They were the receiving team in the second half.
One score, then another and .
No, the Pats weren't worried.
"We've been in a lot of dogfights,'' Brady said afterward.
The Patriots expected victory because they're the Patriots and the Bills are the Bills, and you know how that rivalry has gone for more than a decade. The Patriots have won nine division titles in 11 years since Brady took over as the starting quarterback. Brady had an 18-2 record against Buffalo before Sunday.
One loss came last season when Brady threw four interceptions in a rare bad day at the office. The other came in 2003, when Drew Bledsoe led the Bills to a 31-0 victory in the season opener before Brady returned the favor in the finale. Otherwise, the Bills have been the gift that keeps giving.
Why would the Patriots think the showdown Sunday would be any different? Because the Bills added reinforcements and beefed up their defense during the offseason with defensive ends such as Mario Williams? Because the Patriots had lost two straight games? Because the Bills had a 21-7 lead in the third quarter?
New England's scoreboard deficit wasn't a sign of trouble so much as a minor inconvenience. Disregard the AFC East standings showing both teams are 2-2. If the game Sunday was an indication, light years separate these two teams. The Pats abused the Bills' defense for 580 total yards, the second-most allowed in franchise history.
Pats punter Zoltan Mesko should have hit the showers after the first possession of the second half. New England finished the game with six straight touchdowns before adding one last kick to the face, a 30-yard field goal from Stephen Gostkowski after the two-minute warning. The win was so convincing that Bill Belichick smiled after the game.
"I wasn't really all that concerned,'' receiver Wes Welker said. "I just wanted to make sure we were still battling and fighting and making sure everybody was doing that. It tells a lot about a team whenever you're down like that and you keep on fighting. You keep staying after it. Eventually, good things happen.''
Brady apparently had enough sleep in one of our finer hotels, although he didn't play like a demigod in the first half. He was ordinary before settling down and making the proper adjustments, the way he usually does. He finished with 340 yards passing. He threw three touchdown passes and ran for another, all in the second half.
And he wasn't the guy who killed the Bills.
Ten others inflicted equal damage, which is how gangs usually work. Welker and Rob Gronkowski had more than 100 yards receiving, but the Patriots pounded the Bills because they pounded the ball. The offensive line dominated.
Brandon Bolden, who had 15 yards on seven carries going into the game, averaged 8.6 yards per carry and finished with 137 yards rushing and a touchdown. Stevan Ridley had 106 yards rushing and two TDs.
The Patriots rushed for 247 yards, including 159 yards in the second half.
"They were challenging us to run the ball,'' Brady said. "They had some little guys on the field with our big personnel groupings.''
Big guys picking on little guys. It sounds about right.
The Patriots play Peyton Manning and the Broncos next week. You might say New England's game against Buffalo was a tuneup.
email: email@example.com

subset: commoncrawl


text:
SHENANDOAH JUNCTION - At about 4:30 p.m. Monday, the driver of a minivan lost control of her vehicle and struck a power pole in Shenandoah Junction.
According to Chief David Ransom of the Shepherdstown Police Department, the vehicle rolled over several times before striking and snapping the power pole at the intersections of Ridge and Luther Jones roads in Jefferson County.
"Three people were in the car - an adult female and two children," Ransom said.
Article Photos
Journal photo by Michelle Horst
Police respond to the scene of a single-vehicle accident Monday in Shenandoah Junction.
One of the children, an 11-year-old boy, was ejected from the vehicle. According to scanner traffic at the time of the accident, the occupants of the vehicle were not wearing their safety belts, but that could not be confirmed by police.
West Virginia State Police are handling the investigation. According to a supervisor at Jefferson County Central Dispatch, the child who was ejected was transported to Winchester Medical Center by ambulance. None of the injuries were reported to be life-threatening.
No additional details were available Monday evening.
- Staff writer Michelle Horst can be reached at 304-725-6581 or email@example.com.


text:
CLEMSON – Chad Morris hopes he's done riding the roller coaster.
Who: The Citadel (4-6, 4-4 Southern) at No. 8 Clemson (9-1, 7-1 ACC)
When: Nov. 23, 12 p.m.
Where: Memorial Stadium, Clemson
TV: ESPN3.com
The production of junior wide receiver Martavis Bryant and the attitude of freshman offensive tackle Isaiah Battle have each provided challenges for Clemson's offensive coordinator throughout the year.
The roller coaster slows to a crawl. Bryant's a 6-foot-5 gazelle who yo-yos in his trust level with quarterback Tajh Boyd, at one point letting freshman wideout Mike Williams jockey for equal playing time. Battle's a 6-foot-6, 280-pound behemoth who hasn't mastered the entire playbook and is as much the object of his coaches' affection as he is their constant cajoling.
The roller coaster reaches its apex after a steady incline. Now Bryant is the newest ACC receiver of the week after setting a Death Valley record with 176 receiving yards against Georgia Tech, a game in which Battle earned the start at right tackle and earned positive reviews from Morris and head coach Dabo Swinney.
Where does the train go from here? Does it cruise into a sweet ride with reasonable twists and turns, or does it veer off course?
It boils down to this: have they matured over the past three months?
"I would say so, yes. Yeah," Morris said. "Most definitely Martavis. Isaiah's a guy that's trying to figure it out."
In a weird way, Bryant and Battle are inextricably knotted to one another. Each player was suspended for separate reasons in the third game of the season, a 26-14 win at North Carolina State on Sept. 19.
Bryant made a throat-slashing gesture after scoring a touchdown, sitting him down for the first half of the next game; Battle's transgression was far more severe, punching a Wolf Pack player to get himself ejected from the game and serving a one-game punishment a week later vs. Wake Forest.
Bryant meandered his way through the next month, catching 10 balls for 202 yards and one touchdown over four games. That was after a no-catch effort and two drops in the opener against Georgia.
Since then, in three outings, he's recorded 14 catches for 336 yards and one score, a 76-yard touchdown Thursday night.
"I know he had a rocky start the first few games," junior cornerback Bashaud Breeland said, "but the player you see now is the player he is."
Bryant has 14 catches gaining at least 20 yards – the exact same amount as his much more heralded teammate, Sammy Watkins.
"I think he's playing with great confidence in himself," Morris said. "I think more than anything where it's kind of turned for him is he sees and recognizes that Tajh has confidence in him. I think that's really helped him out."
Battle had to be even more patient. He did not participate against Wake Forest or Boston College, and was used only sparingly in three other games before drawing the start at right tackle against Georgia Tech and gutting through 37 plays, injuring his shoulder but returning to take on a few drives.
For now, Battle remains the starting right tackle on the depth chart, backed up by fellow rookie Shaq Anthony. Opening week starter Gifford Timothy is now backing up Brandon Thomas at left tackle, opening up more reps for Battle and Anthony.
Offensive line has been a subject of scrutiny all year long. For the first time in awhile, Swinney and Morris each sounded rather encouraged by the line.
"We're starting to play with good chemistry and good confidence," Swinney said. "From that individual position, I thought he played at a very high level. (Battle) played well for a young guy that hadn't played right tackle at all. He handled the mental aspect of it very well."
Highly talented and turbulent, Battle and Bryant have three more games – Saturday vs. The Citadel, Nov. 30 at South Carolina and a bowl game – to prove their worth as consistent playmakers for an offense still trying to peak at the perfect time.
"Much like a lot of the younger players that haven't played – you go through that growing-up process over the course of the season," Morris said. "You hope at some point in time the light bulb will click on. It's going to, it will for every player, but some sooner than others.
"When it does click on, you hope it's at the point of the season that you need it."


text: Salem High School Fall Homecoming Queen candidates, from left, first row, Lauren Atkinson, daughter of Judi Atkinson of Salem and John Atkinson of Salem; Mallory Maher, daughter of Bruce Maher of Salem; Allison Moore, daughter of Stacey Moore of Salem; back row, Samantha Reedy, daughter of Ron Reedy and Laura Stewart of Salem; Taralynn Williams, daughter of Shari Williams of Salem and Rob Warren of North Benton; Hannah Rohrabaugh, daughter of Dave and Mary Shears of Salem and Roy Rohrabaugh of Boardman; and Mallorie Davidson, daughter of Doug and Lori Davidson of Salem. The queen will be crowned during halftime of the varsity football game versus Alliance tonight. Troll's Jewelry in Salem donated the tiara. The homecoming dance, themed "Big City Lights," will be held Saturday night in the high school cafeteria. (Salem News photo by Kevin Howell)


text:
Top Definition
The slang spelling of a rather offensive word. Some people have a hard time trying to figure out what it means.
P.S. I dare you to write it in chalk on someones driveway!
P.S. I dare you to write it in chalk on someones driveway!
Fuh q Krahn! Fuh q!
بواسطة Mrs. Bobo the Clown يوليو/تمُّوز 17, 2006
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
12 year olds should try sounding this out in front of their parents
FUH Q chelsea baby!!!!!
بواسطة b rendan أكتوبر/تشرين الأوّل 4, 2007
pronounced as spelt. When one has the inability to seperate both fuck and you, which results a slur of the two words, and a "Q" is clearly heard.
r s t u v?
r s t u v?
بواسطة blahblahblahblah2362 يونيو/حَزيران 7, 2009
The way that Northwestern Europeans, typically Southern Irish and Scots pronounce the phrase "fuck you". Because of their unique brogues the two words often sound as one making for a linguistic phenomenon. Consumption of alcoholic beverages can increase the speed and ferocity of this word. However, this word is only said among friends poking fun at one another, which is unlike its two worded cousin "Fuck You",a separated and slower phrase said so that a person's enemy might better understand.
A. She said you've got the smallest cock she's ever seen.
B. Fuh-Q boyo she hasn't seen yours yet.
B. Fuh-Q boyo she hasn't seen yours yet.
بواسطة KiloSierra مارس/آذَار 14, 2008
Shorten term for Fuck You, often used in online conversations. Tends to be an insulting term.
Fuh-Q, you stupid Byotch!
بواسطة Veena أكتوبر/تشرين الأوّل 18, 2004
The instant message abbreviation for fuck you.
ThomasIM: You are a zombie!
JonIM: FUH-Q
JonIM: FUH-Q
بواسطة ilaugheverytimeitypethisinabox ديسمبر/كانون الأَوّل 16, 2008


text:
Source: GM
quote: This is dead before it even started. Waste of time and money.
quote: Overall this technology should reduce the cost of vehicles compared to electric and hybrid, and should also reduce the carbon foot print including all the negatives about electric energy coming from polluting plants and batteries being made from toxic materials.


text:
In the tradition of Mark Kurlansky's Cod and Salt, this endlessly revealing book reminds us that the fiber we think of as ordinary is the world's most powerful cash crop, and that it has shaped the destiny of nations. Ranging from its domestication 5,500 years ago to its influence in creating Calvin Klein's empire and the Gap, Stephen Yafa's Cotton gives us an intimate look at the plant that fooled Columbus into thinking he'd reached India, that helped start the Industrial Revolution as well as the American Civil War, and that made at least one bug—the boll weevil—world famous. A sweeping chronicle of ingenuity, greed, conflict, and opportunism, Cotton offers "a barrage of fascinating information" (Los Angeles Times).
"I have to hand it to Mr. Yafa. Cotton rules." —The Wall Street Journal
"With wit and intelligence, Yafa demonstrates how a good deal of history can be learned by following a single thread." —The Washington Post
"A comprehensive and often surprising history [of a crop that changed the world]." —USA Today
Table of Contents
Introduction 1
1. Spun in All Directions 9
2. Star Turns 25
3. The Barber from Preston 39
4. Revolutionary Fiber 70
5. Camelot on the Merrimack 91
6. Looming Conflicts 118
7. Southern Exposure 147
8. Changing Fortunes 173
9. Two-Horse Power 202
10. Boll Weevil Blues 233
11. The Shirt on Your Back 270
12. Fields of Conflict 305
Afterword 338
Glossary 345
Notes 349
Bibliography 375
Acknowledgments 381
Index 385


text:
GE Profile 20.7 cu. ft. Counter-Depth French Door Refrigerator - White
1 year parts and labor
The 20.7 cu. ft. counter-depth GE Profile™ Series PFCF1NFWW French door refrigerator is designed to look like a built-in without the added expense. A fully lit BrightSpace interior and freezer and large French door access makes it quick and easy to locate the item you need. The temperature management system is easily controlled with the upfront electronic digital display to keep your food evenly cooled and extremely fresh. The white GE Profile Series PFCF1NF French door refrigerator has a factory-installed ice maker located in the freezer that's ready to start making filtered ice as soon as your new refrigerator is plugged in and connected to a water line. Experience true convenience and freshness with GE.
- The GE PFCF1NFCWW's counter-depth configuration creates the look of a built-in without the added expense
- High-gloss doors with top and bottom bevels accentuate kitchen decor with designer style
- Temperature management allows for even cooling throughout the fresh food section to help keep your foods extremely fresh
- Upfront temperature controls display the actual temperature
- It's easy to find your favorite foods under bright, clear lighting
- Factory-installed ice maker has water filtration system
- Adjustable humidity-controlled crisper drawers keep fruits and vegetables fresh
Specifications & Dimensions
Product Documentation
Owner's Manual - English (Warranty)
Product Warranty - Spanish
Product Warranty - English
Energy Guide


text:
BURNHAM - Through the slums of Cape Town, South Africa, a clear, strong sound of hope called out to those who would listen.
First, the children ran out of their ramshackle homes eager to see what the noise was. Soon, the adults peeked out of the windows and doors with critical, curious eyes. Then they, too, stepped out to join the growing crowd.
In the center of the group were two men, oddly dressed. One was blowing a trumpet.
His name is Randy Stahl, a pastor's son from Burnham who founded a ministry more than 20 years ago to share the Gospel through trumpet music.
For many years, Stahl said his ministry consisted of events around the east coast and Canada; but in 1991, God opened the doors to expand his work to South Africa.
Stahl remembered playing in a large church in Toronto when an elderly woman sitting in the balcony caught his eye.
"She grabbed a hold of me," Stahl said. After the concert, "she looked at me and said, 'Never put your trumpet down. Never turn your back on God.'"
She told him that God would use his ministry locally, nationally and across the world, Stahl said.
But it was not until 2006 that he first traveled to Cape Town, South Africa, he said. He went there again in 2007, then this May.
With the help of missionary Dirk Wood from Rise and Shine Evangelistic Association, Stahl said he travels throughout the Cape Town area to play and share his testimony with Christian groups, businesses and poor communities.
Stahl said he chooses to minister in some of the roughest, most crime ridden neighborhoods in South Africa.
Dressed in eye catching, specially-designed suits, he and Wood drive into the flats, get out of the vehicle and begin playing the trumpet, he said.
"When they see that we're not a threat, they come out," Stahl said.
Stahl said he plays his trumpet for the crowd, ministers to them, prays for them and often hands out bread.
Stahl is no stranger to street ministry. His father, Jim Stahl, worked with one of the most well-known contemporary street evangelists in the United States.
Jim Stahl was friends with New York City evangelist David Wilkerson during some of his first mission efforts to the city gangs, he said.
As told in Wilkerson's book "The Cross and the Switchblade," Jim Stahl played his trumpet to call the neighborhoods out to hear Wilkerson's message, his son said.
Jim Stahl played in some of the roughest places in New York City, and Stahl has followed in his father's footsteps in Cape Town.
"I know what my dad was feeling," Stahl said. "But I'm not afraid. I felt the protection of God at all times."
The South African culture is "dark with witchcraft," but the people are receptive to the message of Christ, he said.
Most have heard the Gospel message before, yet they welcome the ministry more than Americans would, he said.
"It seemed like the doors just opened in Cape Town," Stahl said of his recent visit. "We got calls from all over (asking me to play)."
Even businesses welcome Christianity, Stahl said. During his month-long stay, he played for the Old Mutual Insurance Co. in Cape Town, a business complex that holds weekly praise and worship services for its employees, he said.
"Where in America could you have that?" Stahl said.
Personally, Stahl said the trip opened his eyes to see what God has planned for his ministry.
"I've only just touched on what he has in store for me ministry-wise," Stahl said. "... he knows where I'm going before I do."
The trumpet player said he plans to return to Cape Town in two years to continue to preach and play his trumpet there.
Meanwhile at his home in Burnham, Stahl said he plays concerts occasionally. Stahl said he produced one self-titled CD, and he is working on a second.
"Psalms 98:4 says, 'Make a joyful noise unto the Lord,'" Stahl said. "That's what I'm doing. This is not about entertainment. I'm out to minister."
To learn more about Trumpet of Praise Ministry contact Stahl at email@example.com or 242-9426, or visit www.trumpetofpraise.com.


text:
County Clerk Misdemeanor Collections
This online payment center is designed to make payments of fees, fines and other county services fast, secure, convenient and easy to use.
Before you begin...
Payment Options
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Article 102.072 of the Criminal Code of Procedures allows for an administrative fee of $2.00 to be collected for each transaction through the County Clerk's office relating to the collection of fines, fees, restitution or other costs imposed by a court.
Browsers & Security
You are about to leave the Dallas County on-line system and enter Chase's on-line system to input your personal information. The Bank of America is not an agent or a representative of Dallas County.
Dallas County is not responsible for any errors, failures, virus or malfunctions, or other problems associated with the use of this computer or any online systems. Dallas County is also not responsible for any unauthorized access to your personal information. User hereby shall forever waive, release, indemnify and hold harmless Dallas County, its Commissioners Court, County Judge, assigns, officers, employees, agents and representatives from and against any and all losses, damages, injuries, causes of action, claims, demands, and liabilities related to this transaction.
Please "log off" completely at the end of your transaction! Failure to do so will allow another user to access your personal information.
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To exit the application at anytime, you may click on the CANCEL button located at the bottom right of each screen.


text:
Top Definition
a girl usually with a big ass and even bigger personality. she's smart and witty but you would never get it looking at her.
I knew she could outdrink me, but when she did my math homework afterwards it made her a total Micaelle
von thiswunrytchea 4. Februar 2010
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?


text:
Flash Cookies and Privacy
Ashkan Soltani
University of California, Berkeley - School of Information
Shannon Canty
Clemson University
Quentin Mayo
Jacksonville State University
Lauren Thomas
Louisiana State University
Chris Jay Hoofnagle
University of California, Berkeley - School of Information; University of California, Berkeley - School of Law
August 10, 2009
This is a pilot study of the use of 'Flash cookies' by popular websites. We find that more than 50% of the sites in our sample are using flash cookies to store information about the user. Some are using it to 'respawn' or re-instantiate HTTP cookies deleted by the user. Flash cookies often share the same values as HTTP cookies, and are even used on government websites to assign unique values to users. Privacy policies rarely disclose the presence of Flash cookies, and user controls for effectuating privacy preferences are lacking.
Number of Pages in PDF File: 8
Keywords: Privacy, tracking, flash, cookies, local stored objects, usability, online advertising, behavioral targeting, self-help
JEL Classification: D18
Date posted: August 11, 2009
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text:
5 Shocking Failures in 2013 We Should Have Seen Coming
American culture is famously amnesiac -- spending a decade in our country is like trying to watch Dude, Where's My Car? with Guy Pearce's character from Memento without the evening ending in an explosion of confused violence. I think the media are largely to blame for this condition, because the media are largely to blame for rap metal, and I still haven't forgiven them for that. The news media would cease to exist if we didn't desperately care about every single thing they report on, so they fuel our curiosity and outrage by treating every story as an unprecedented, scandalous mystery and challenging us to come up with the answer.
For example, a young pop star getting drunk and acting like an asshole becomes "IS [insert soon-to-be-irrelevant name here] OUT OF CONTROL?" even though we already know that half of all famous people are raging shitheads and most of us have been guilty of the exact same type of behavior at one time or another. A relatively minor yet inconveniencing procedural error in some company or government-run institution becomes "[mistake] LEAVES HUNDREDS WITHOUT [non-vital good or service], WILL YOU BE NEXT?" even though we know that the inconvenience is temporary and nobody's life is in danger. But every year we make an unspoken agreement with the media -- they will bring us the news as if they just arrived on planet Earth and have no memory of the previous centuries of human existence, and in turn we will selectively ignore huge chunks of our own knowledge and experience, just so we can pretend that the news is interesting.
Here are five of the most ridiculous questions we were asked in 2013 that we should've already known the answers to.
#5. Who Could Have Predicted That Blockbuster Films Like The Lone Ranger and Pacific Rim Would Fail to Find a Mainstream Audience?
Walt Disney Pictures/Legendary Pictures
You Heard:
Both The Lone Ranger and Pacific Rim -- colossally budgeted at around $200 million each and expected to kick off new franchises -- bombed catastrophically, like a fat astronaut in a low Earth orbit. This totally unexpected outcome signals something foreboding about the film industry. Clearly the age of the big blockbuster is over; the only things we can count on now are sequels of proven franchises and Sandra Bullock.
20th Century Fox
The Truth:
This outcome should have been obvious all along, because 100 years of moviemaking have given us absolutely no excuse to think otherwise. The Lone Ranger and Pacific Rim were blushingly expensive movies in two genres that have never been huge box office draws. Why would bathing each production in a $200 million shower of hubris suddenly convince audiences to go see them?
Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Getty Images
"What if we throw in the car?"
No Western or giant-monster film in history has ever grossed $200 million domestically. The closest Westerns have ever come were the True Grit remake, which pulled in $175 million on a budget of $38 million, and Unforgiven, with a lifetime gross of just over $100 million on a budget of $14 million. (It's actually tied with Maverick, but Maverick is immediately disqualified due to my suspicion that it was partially funded by Mel Gibson's Nazi gold.) The two most successful Westerns ever made, combined, cost less to produce than Disney spent to shelter and feed Johnny Depp and apply his Glenn Danzig face paint.
Walt Disney Pictures
There was also a substantial earmark for dead birds.
The giant-monster genre is much more of a wasteland. (Please note that I'm not counting the Transformers movies as "giant monster" movies, because they aren't. They're Transformers movies.) Cloverfield is the biggest success ever -- that movie managed to earn $80 million (a little over three times its budget) based on a hugely successful viral marketing campaign that deliberately told you absolutely nothing about the film except that a bunch of douchebags were going to be imperiled by a Statue-of-Liberty-decapitating mystery beast. That's like handing a kid a present shrouded in Space Tyrannosaurus wrapping paper -- the present itself may end up sucking, but there's no way that kid isn't going to open it and make sure.
The only other monster "success" was the 1998 Godzilla remake, which earned $136 million on a budget of $130 million. Most of that blazing 5 percent profit was based on Independence Day juice -- there wasn't a single preview that didn't make it abundantly clear that the bards behind this spirited retelling of Godzilla were the same two blind squirrels responsible for Independence Day, the 1996 tidal wave of American currency that Will Smith surfed to international superstardom. The movie was so terribly received that TriStar executives immediately cancelled its plans for a Godzilla trilogy and narrowly avoided being executed for war crimes. However, since the obvious decision is to revisit it 16 years later and throw even more money at it, 2014 will bring us yet another Godzilla reboot, starring box office champion and electrifying hit-streak machine Aaron Taylor-Johnson (star of Shanghai Knights and Kick-Ass 2).
Legendary Pictures/Warner Bros. Pictures/Toho
Historically speaking, this can do nothing but succeed.
Pirates of the Caribbean is largely responsible for this trend. Before 2003, pirate movies were box office poison. Film students kept copies of Roman Polanski's Pirates on their desks like shards from the Challenger explosion, warning them against the dangers of dreaming too big. Children hung copies of Cutthroat Island above their beds to catch nightmares. If you brought either of those films into a Blockbuster, they would instantly erase every other tape in the store like a haunted magnet.
But Disney poured $100 million into their pirate movie anyway and cast Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush as the two most captivatingly entertaining pirates in cinematic history, and Hollywood mistakenly believed it was the "$100 million" side of that equation that resulted in the film's success (judging by The Lone Ranger, Disney thought the winning recipe was "$100 million and Johnny Depp"). People would've watched those two characters play backgammon on a tugboat through a black and white Kinetoscope if the writing was good enough. Money doesn't create interest -- it just makes interesting things look better.
#4. How Could Sony and Microsoft Release Such Unreliable New Game Consoles?
You Heard:
Sony's and Microsoft's new systems, the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, are bricking straight out of the box. People are getting screwed out of their hard-earned cash -- these companies willfully shipped products that were broken because they only cared about their bottom line. They owe every single customer an immediate replacement, somebody needs to lose their job, and they'll be lucky if they don't get sued.
The Truth:
Every television, toaster, VCR, DVD player, video camera, and yes, even video game system ever manufactured has an allowable failure rate, meaning a small percentage of them will be completely functionless the instant you take them out of the box. It's just part of buying and selling merchandise that requires an intricate network of interwoven parts to operate correctly. Think of every mechanical and/or electronic Christmas gift you've ever received as the pyrotechnics team at Madison Square Garden. If even one of those guys shows up drunk, Metallica is going to look like a middle-aged ping pong team instead of a quartet of flame-shrouded rock Olympians. The same is true of your new gadget.
Scofield1/Photos.com/Getty Images
"Why aren't you Metallica?!"
However, according to the Internet, this is the worst human rights violation that has ever occurred. Seriously. Do a quick search for "Hutus and Tutsis" and "PS4 failure," and see which one gets you more results. Never mind, I'll save you the trouble:
In reality, the failure rate of the latest PlayStation and Xbox consoles is probably lower than 1 percent, which seems like a large number when that translates to thousands of consoles, but they sold a million of these things in one day (and 1 percent of 1 million is 10,000). Whether we like it or not, that's an expected (and acceptable) failure rate, and we know it. There is no conspiracy, no disgruntled factory employee sabotage, no CEO that needs to be fired, and no drastic company-wide initiative that needs to be taken.
All of those consoles will be repaired or replaced in time, just like that microwave you had to send back to Samsung the day you bought it because it failed to cook your tater tots. The difference is that nobody has ever sold a million microwaves in 24 hours. That 1 percent failure rate is usually spread out over several months. Also, most people only fill out customer feedback questionnaires when they are angry. Think of how many "rate your purchase" emails from Amazon you've ignored -- you don't leave feedback when you are totally satisfied, you just enjoy your new item and go on with your life. So, you have between 10,000 and 30,000 bitterly dissatisfied customers (per system) leaving frothingly melodramatic 1 star reviews on the Internet in a single day, which makes Sony and Microsoft debuting a new product that no one is required to buy look like a violation of the Geneva Conventions.
Arman Zhenikeyev/Photos.com/Getty Images
"The PlayStation 4 sustains itself with human blood drawn through
palm-boring octopus pincers set in the grips of every controller!" -Sony
#3. How Could the Obama Administration Unveil a Broken Health Care Website?
Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
You Heard:
The Obamacare website's debut was marred by constant crashes and lockouts. It is a shocking display of government ineptitude and a clear sign that the program is doomed to fail.
The Truth:
This is how every single government program has always worked. The DMV takes forever to do anything (and only recently moved to a website), filing your taxes is an archaically circuitous process, and most military contracts go way over budget and schedule, but we're shocked that a website designed to accommodate hundreds of thousands of people simultaneously through a complicated process wasn't flawless on Day 1? Not even Blizzard can do that, and that is the only function they are required to perform -- their servers crashed the day Diablo III was released from the surge of people trying to play it and World of Warcraft at the same time. Few major systems dazzle right out of the gate like Emmitt Smith, let alone anything designed by the government.
Lucidology/Photos.com/Getty Images
"OK, so we're all in agreement -- we're just going to smash these things together until medicine comes out." -the government
More importantly, every government program is perpetually a decade behind technologically. Every single government institution I have dealt with still charges a "convenience fee" whenever you pay with a credit card, as if it is a baffling new trend that they are graciously accommodating. People have been using credit cards en masse since the nineteen fucking eighties. The only people who carry large amounts of cash nowadays are drug dealers and time travelers, so implying that the "convenience" is anyone's but their own suggests that they have the same view of technology as Brendan Fraser in the beginning of Encino Man. If I try to file my state taxes online, I get charged an additional fee, because the Department of the Treasury is apparently so frightened and confused by the idea of glowing desktop knowledge boxes that they prefer me to cram a laborious stack of papers in an envelope and have it delivered to them by a fellow government employee two days later. We should be amazed that the Obamacare website is more than an Angelfire page with frames and a Web counter that charges you a convenience fee just for accessing it, rather than the fact that it's taking them time to iron out all the bugs.
Darko Novakovic/Photos.com/Getty Images
"The computer somehow knows I'm sick. The website is a complete success!"


text:
For the past three years, every time Linda Trimberger came back from a Colorado Association of School Boards conference, you knew immediately what the first thing on her agenda would be.
The student groups were so wonderful, she would tell the board, "we really need to have one."
The groups she was referring to were groups of students from across the state that reported directly to their respective school boards and helped keep them informed on things affecting students.
Trimberger asked for one every year, and finally, last year she got everyone to listen and the Council of Student Representatives was created. The inaugural students are in their first full year and are already making an impact on everyone they meet.
Three or four students from each high school were chosen by their principals to represent the school based on their grades and ability to lead, so it's not surprising that when you get a group of them together, they can impress the best of them.
"We have seen firsthand a greater population in our schools that need extra resources," said Steve Marcantonio, a senior at Greeley West High School, of whether the district needed additional resources. "If we did have the money, I trust this school board to spend it on those items."
A Greeley Central representative, junior Patrick Ryan, said he never doubted officials when they said this district was one of the worst funded, but when he got involved with the CSR and got an inside look at things, it really drove the message home.
"It didn't shock me," he said. "Being a student, people tell you all the time you can't afford something. But this really put it into perspective where we are compared to other districts."
The students recently presented their first major project, "The Year of the Student," to the school board at a regular meeting. The project is part of a statewide initiative that asks the Colorado Legislature to address Colorado's poor funding mechanism for K-12 and higher education.
"We just kind of hopped on the bandwagon," Steve said with a laugh.
On Jan. 30, the group along with several dozen other student groups presented their message to the Legislature and governor via a petition that said lack of funding can't be business as usual this session. The petition was signed by more than 8,000 people from across the state.
The experiences that this opportunity gives to students are some they will never forget.
"This really broadened my horizons in understanding the challenges the district truly does face," said Jacquelyn English, a sophomore at Northridge. "It has also allowed me a closer relationship with Trimberger and (Superintendent) Dr. Lang."
The students said when they first learned about CSR they were excited to get on board because they want to help their district get better.
"I really like the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than myself," said Amanda Cary, a Northridge junior. "I wanted to have a broader role in my school."
Northridge Principal Wes Paxton sponsors the group. He said when he first learned about the idea he was excited to help out anyway he could.
"Working with students in District 6, you see they want a voice," he said. "You see they want to change the community for the better. They want to bring students together to give them choices and to make a difference."
Aaron Zimola, a junior at West, said getting students to sign the petition at his school was pretty easy. He said he and Steve used the same line on everyone.
"See that roof three feet above you that's about to fall? If it falls on you, it will give you cancer," the two said with a cautious laugh about the condition of West and the asbestos it holds in its rafters.
"We want them to know this district is great already, but it could be so much greater if we had more money," Steve said.
"We have one of the highest percentages of poverty, but one of the lowest budgets," Aaron added. "And we are the future."
Marlee Snyder, a junior at Northridge, said they all know it takes a lot to change policy but they just wanted the legislature to hear them out.
"If they think about it, it means more coming from us," Marlee said. "Because we're the kids that see it everyday."
The students will now begin to work on their next big projects which include hosting a leadership conference for eighth-graders in the district and a walk to educate the community about the schools and what they mean.
"They are hoping if people will walk with them they will realize that this district has good students, good teachers and good administrators," Paxton said. "And that they are doing good things and care about these kids."
Trimberger said this was exactly what she hoped for when she envisioned this type of student engagement.
"It has been an honor to work with this group of students," she said during the board meeting on Jan. 28 when the students presented their project. "They really are the future and probably will be sitting in these chairs some day. They are a great group of students."
Sherrie Peif covers education for The Tribune. Her column runs on Mondays. If you have an idea for a feature, contact Sherrie at (970) 392-5632 or by email at email@example.com.
We want them to know this district is great already, but it could be so much greater if we had more money.
— Steve Marcantonio, Greeley West High School council member


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CHARLES TOWN - Strange things happen in the swamp.
With nothing but the light of the moon and a warm slight breeze rustling through the stalks of the sugar cane fields, two spinster sisters await their destiny only to find that things are not always what they appear to be.
Hailed as a true Southern gothic comedy, playwright Nathan Sanders brings to light all the eccentricities that come with a dysfunctional Southern family.
Article Photos
Journal photo by Ron Agnir
Bishop Crumley (Keith Shifflett) and Faye Nettles (Amy Hebb) star in 'The Sugar Bean Sisters' at the Old Opera House in Charles Town.
Set as one night - the night before the 20-year anniversary of aliens landing on their property - sisters Willie Mae and Faye Nettles discover shocking truths about their family's past. On this evening they are visited by a Mormon bishop, a reptile woman and a bird-like woman - all adding to the absurdity of the night.
"I'd say this is part 'Steel Magnolias' and part 'Weekly World News,'" said director Will Heyser. "Sort of magical realism."
Trying to stave off spinsterhood, Willie Mae just wants to find a "good Mormon husband" while Faye wants the "space people" to come back and take her away.
"There is a lot of meat to these characters," Heyser said. "There's a lot of emotional life in (them) and seeing the relationships develop is one of the really nice things about this play."
Keith Shifflett plays the role of the transplanted Mormon bishop who has come to convert the sisters to Mormonism, but then gets caught up in their craziness.
"(The play is) very eclectic," he said. "It's not your run-of-the-mill kind of show. It gives an outside perspective to what most people consider normal. It's very interesting."
Shari Shrewsberry Martin portrays Willie Mae Nettles and she describes her character as being similar to Blanche in "A Streetcar Named Desire" - someone who is very dependent on her sister and loves her sister, yet can't stand her at the same time. Even though there is drama between the characters and Martin says mysteries will be solved and secrets revealed, she reminds everyone that it is still a comedy.
"It's outrageously funny," she said. "It's mostly what the characters say and the outrageousness of the characters."
"When it starts out, the audience is going to be wondering what the heck is going on," said Amy Hebb, who plays Faye Nettles. "I think it's a show about dreams. Each one of these characters has a dream. I don't think you'll see anything like this. It's a diamond in the rough show."
Shrouded in secrecy, all cast members admit there are strange things lurking in the swamp, but reveal little more. With plots and subplots twisting and turning like the roots of a cypress tree in the murky waters of the swamp, audience members are promised many surprises with a shocking ending.
"People aren't always who you think they are," Martin said.
"There is a definite dramatic arc in the play with a very satisfying conclusion," Heyser said.
"I think if people come and see it, they will love it," Martin added.
For more information or to purchase tickets, visit www.oldoperahouse.org or call the box office at 304-725-4420.


text:
On this day: August 21
POSTED: 12:02 PM PDT August 20, 2012 UPDATED: 11:00 PM PDT August 20, 2016
Lincoln and Douglas square off for the first time, Oldsmobile begins production, Hawaii becomes a state, and The Mona Lisa and the Mars Observer go missing, all on this day.
The views expressed are not those of this company or its affiliated companies. Please note by clicking on "Post" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms.


text:
Welcome to Glock Talk
Why should YOU join our Glock forum?
- Converse with other Glock Enthusiasts
- Learn about the latest hunting products
- Becoming a member is FREE and EASY
If you consider yourself a beginner or an avid shooter, the Glock Talk community is your place to discuss self defense, concealed carry, reloading, target shooting, and all things Glock.
9mm guys, will you switch in a post-ban era?
Discussion in 'Caliber Corner' started by SoldMyHat, Dec 19, 2012.
Page 1 of 15
Page 1 of 15


text:
This camping guide will help you prepare for your first camping trip, or brush up on the knowledge you already have. Camping has always been...
More and more people are taking up running these days, whether it's to help shed some weight for the summer, to improve your fitness or to...
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text:
(based on 6 reviews)
Ratings Distribution
5 Stars
4 Stars
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1 Stars
of respondents would recommend this to a friend.
Reviewed by 6 customers
Displaying reviews 1-6
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(1 of 1 customers found this review helpful)
My new favorite
By CSEducator
from College Station, TX
Comments about Visconti Rembrandt Fountain Pen:
To celebrate a promotion, I purchased the ivory Visconti Rembrandt. I have a Visconti roller ball (different model) and I wanted to try the fountain pen. It is wonderful. Writes well, very reliable, has enough heft but not too much, and is beautiful. Although the price might seem high, for a Visconti it is a very good value.
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
Was this review helpful? Yes / No
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Lovely pen.
By MassimoV
from Porlezza IT
It is a handsome pen with unique color options. My fine nib is a little stiffer and broader than I usually like. But I grew rather accustomed to it after a while. The spring clip and magnetic cap are neat features. The styling is very fine and the build quality is solid. The pen size is medium/large. If you like a hefty, tough fen, with unique features, buy this one. If you like a finer instrument, you might prefer a Sailor 1911.
By MJFCA
from San Diego, CA
This pen is beautiful and I wanted to love it - but the fine nib writes like a medium and more important, I can't get the ink to start and continue flowing without constant priming. The magnetic cap is wonderful, though it would take time o get used to it. Sadly, will be returning.
Bottom Line No, I would not recommend this to a friend
Merchant response: Thank you for your review. I am sorry that the Visconti Rembrandt did not work out for you. I will send you an email on how we can handle this issue for you. I will also forward you comments on to our Project Development & Design Team.
Outstanding Quality!
By gr8tchr4u
from Vancouver, WA
I chose this pen as a reward for finishing my Ph.D. I have been an 'admirer from afar', never actually choosing a fountain pen. It arrived early this morning. With a squeal, I opened the box to find my purchase nicely packaged and my pen encased in a padded box!I've never had such a quality pen! The balance is amazing, the ink flow incredible, and the lovely magnetic cap is so easy. I was thrilled that after attaching the ink cartridge, I didn't have to prime the nib or have a huge inky mess (literally) on my hands,papers, or other things.All it took was a firm press of the cartridge to the nib, to screw in the nib to the barrel, and I was done. With a gentle rock back and forth, the ink flowed! The attention to engineering in this pen is simply incredible.I am so impressed, I've not been able to put the pen down all day. I chose this pen because the barrel doesn't have a screw-on cap to rub my fingers. The nib is also STEEL, not nickel, a metal I am allergic to. This feature allows me to write without discomfort.I chose the fine nib and found it a bit wide; between .07 and .09 width. I'm not complaining, it just seems a bit wide to me. I would love to see finer nibs and the ability to buy one nib at a time, rather than the set of four.This is truly the finest pen I've ever owned. I look forward to owning more of Levenger's fine pens.
Merchant response: Thank you for your review. I am sorry that the Visconti Rembrandts Nib is not fine enough for you. Unfortunately fine is the smallest nib we have it in at this time. I will forward your comments along to our Product Development & Design Team to see if an extra fine is available.
Great Pen
By Flip
from Undisclosed
I have several pens in my collection. This has been the best pen so far! It writes smooth as glass. It does not dry out like others. Highly Reccomend.
Eloquently designed pen
By Staff
from Delray Beach, FL
Eloquently crafted of smooth resin. Variated color shading gives it a unique look. Antique feel boasts from the engraved silver trim and signature appointment. Like writing on a cloud...ultra light and smooth ink flow. Love the magnetic cap closure.
© Copyright Levenger Company
2016. All Rights Reserved.


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Every so often, we stage a campus photo shoot to capture images of students, faculty, and staff. We especially encourage our students to bring along items that speak to their individuality.
Photoshoot, November 2004
Instructions: click thumbnail for preview; click preview to download hi-res photo; use arrows to navigate thumbnails


text:
Beginning July 4th, the fourth iteration of the annual World eBook Fair kicks-off. For one month, the World eBook Fair gives you free, full-text access to over 2 million PDF eBooks–short version: you can download as many eBooks as you want directly to your desktop for free.
For those of you who read on-the-go, some of these titles are compatible with mobile devices.
Major contributors this year include: Project Gutenberg, E-books About Everything, Internet Archive, and World Public Library amongst many others.
Go now, download, and read!


text: A ride through Beatenberg, Europe's longest village situated high above Lake Thun, on the wide-track scooter-bike is an invigorating and fun experience. One starts at Vorsass, the intemediate station of the Niederhorn train. There are two trails to choose from, the short and steep «Direttissima» (6 km) and the leisurely «Flanierama» (12 km). The helmet is included in the Trotti rental fee.


text: Reports last week that Gov. John Kasich wants to provide additional state help to school districts with meager property tax bases no doubt was received happily by some area education officials. While the plan should help meet a state Supreme Court ruling on school funding equity, there is another excellent argument for it: It's the right thing to do.


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Scrapbook MAX! Digital Scrapbooking Software
Archival Quality Digital Scrapbooking Software
hello eye... I've been busy at work I've been working with two jobs now that's why I am hardly here but don't worry ones i get the chance to go online again i will visit and participate like i use to thanks for the msg really appreciate it
Whers are you.Have noticed you not being on.Hope all is okay.
Thanks Sharon... Same to you too happy holidays to you as well. Sorry for the late reply we've been busy relocating to California with my husband's family.
Happy Holidays dearest
hi there, haven't seen you around for awhile, so thought i would just skip by and leave you some hugs and love....hope all is well with you...I have missed seeing you around
thanks rachel
I have added you to my friends list. I will be sending those files you ask for in a couple days as I am n the process of remodling the diningroom
You are welcome sharon. I Love your blog i was so amazed about your designs. Thanks for dropping by.
hey there and welcome! Thanks for the friendship!
Thank You... Actually this is the first time i joined in and show my new layouts and templates. I am still learning on making some more thanks for the compliments. I really do appreciate it.
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New Mexico prison officials in early March will begin moving the first of 288 violent or predatory sex offenders to a privately run detention facility in Otero County.
Corrections officials believe the move will save money and provide better treatment options for sex offenders, while key lawmakers have questioned the wisdom of putting sex offenders in what they described as a "county jail."
A legislative committee has questions about whether the private firm that operates the facility can securely house the prisoners.
The firm also was in charge of the Kingman, Ariz., prison when three prisoners broke out in 2010.
New Mexico prison officials say they are confident the Otero County facility will be secure.
Information from: Albuquerque Journal


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|Generator Safety
|| Print |
Generator SafetyPortable generators come in handy during long-term power outages. However, if you do not know how to use them properly, they can be dangerous. Safe Electricity has the following tips to use generators safely. Contact a qualified vendor or electrician to help you determine what generator is best-suited to your needs.
Safe Electricity suggests that these safety guidelines and basic operating instructions be posted in the home and with the generator. Remember to read and follow manufacturer's instructions with all your electronics.


text:
You realize how long Green Day has been around (and how many hits they've scored) when you ogle their audience Monday night at the Verizon-Wireless-Amphitheatre-at-Encore-Park in Alpharetta.and see hundreds of Moms and Dads in their 30s, 40s and 50s bringing their children — and even grandchildren — to see the venerable punk rock band.
Is Green Day punk? How can a punk band sell 15 million copies of its major label debut? What punk band writes an opera that gets produced on Broadway?
And if Green Day is punk, what were all these little kids doing out on a school night, shoving their


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Pancreatic Cysts Center - San Angelo, TX
- WebMD Physician Directory of San Angelo Gastroenterologist Doctors
- Related Pancreatic Cysts Articles
- San Angelo Emergency Contacts
- Nearby San Angelo Hospitals
- Find a Local Pharmacy on RxList - San Angelo
San Angelo Gastroenterologist Doctors for Pancreatic Cysts
Type of Physician: Gastroenterologist
What is a Gastroenterologist? A subspecialty certification by the Board of Internal Medicine; practitioners focus on the stomach, intestines, colon, liver, and gallbladder (digestive organs). The gastroenterologist treats conditions such as abdominal pain, ulcers, diarrhea, cancer, and jaundice and they consult with surgeons when abdominal operations are indicated.
Specialty: Gastroenterology
Common Name: GI Doctor
Gastroenterologist Doctors in San Angelo * results
- 2
Edward J. Artnak
Family Health Center Of Ozona
120 E Beauregard Ave
San Angelo, TX 76903
(325) 658-1511
- 41 years experience
- 1 office location(s)
- 3
Stephen W. Coates Jr
Family Health Center Of Ozona
4450 Sunset Dr
San Angelo, TX 76901
(325) 481-2197
- 17 years experience
- 2 office location(s)
- 4
Eugene W. Stokes
Family Health Center Of Ozona
4450 Sunset Dr
San Angelo, TX 76901
(325) 481-2197
- 35 years experience
- 2 office location(s)
- 5
Robert J. Danbert
Community Medical Associates
2142 Sunset Dr
San Angelo, TX 76904
(325) 245-4000
- 22 years experience
- 1 office location(s)
- 6
Laura R. Chancellor
Family Health Center Of Ozona
4450 Sunset Dr
San Angelo, TX 76901
(325) 481-2197
- 2 office location(s)
Don't see your city? Use the WebMD Physician Directory to expand your search.
Pancreatic Cysts
What is the pancreas?
The pancreas is an organ approximately six inches long that is located in the abdomen behind the stomach and in front of the spine and aorta. The pancreas is divided into three regions; the head, the body, and the t...
Other Related Pancreatic Cysts Articles
Emergency Contact for San Angelo
- In case of Emergency, call 911
Nearby San Angelo Hospitals results
- 1Shannon Medical Center
120 E Harris Ave
San Angelo, Texas 76903
(325) 653-674
- 2Baptist Retirement Community
902 N Main St
San Angelo, Texas 76903
(325) 655-739
- 3Shannon Behavioral Health
2018 Pulliam St
San Angelo, Texas 76905
(325) 659-730
- 4San Angelo Community Med Ctr
3501 Knickerbocker Rd
San Angelo, Texas 76904
(325) 949-951
- 5River Crest Hospital
1636 Hunters Glen Rd
San Angelo, Texas 76901
(325) 949-572
- 6Ballinger Memorial Hospital
608 Avenue B
San Angelo, Texas 76821
(325) 365-253
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Linda Sue Smith Wamsley, 63, a resident of the Back Road, Mill Creek, went to be with her Lord, Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2012, in Monongalia General Hospital at Morgantown. She had been in declining health for the past five months.
She was born Thursday, Jan. 20, 1949, at Mabie, a daughter of the late Woodrow Calvin and Mable Sneed Smith.
On Nov. 15, 1965, she was married to Bobby Wamsley, who survives. They had celebrated 46 years of marriage.
Article Photos
Also surviving are five children, Steven Lynn Wamsley and wife, Rebecca, of Valley Bend, Robert Allen Wamsley of Dailey, Cynthia Lee Wamsley and fiance, Michael Gibson, of East Dailey, Christine Elaine Shrader and husband, Mitch, of Valley Bend and Celeste Kay Wamsley of Mill Creek; three brothers, Woodrow Calvin Smith and wife, Wanda, of Valley Head, Edgar Alan Smith of Pennsylvania, and David Smith of Mill Creek; two sisters, Erma Smarr and husband, Delmas, of North Carolina, and Edith Kerr and husband, Jack, of Pennsylvania; one brother-in-law, Roger Wamsley; four sisters-in-law, Sandra Haden, Betty Pritt, Linda Toni Croston and Sherry Sprinkle; and nine grandchildren, Paul, Kyle, Mykayla, Amber, Clarissa, Jarit and Anlyne; and two step-grandsons, Hunter and Devon.
Preceding her in death were two sisters, Wanda and Penny; and one son-in-law, Curtis Howard.
She attended Valley Head Elementary, Moon Township, Pa., and Ambridge Junior High School, had worked for the housekeeping department at Silver Creek Resort, Colonial Place, Dr. Skinner's office and Davis Memorial Hospital for many years.
Linda loved the outdoors, going up to Cheat Mountain and walking through the woods. She enjoyed having cookouts in her backyard, where she took great pride in her flowers and the pond with a waterfall, where she spent time with her family. She was a member of Tygarts Valley Baptist Church at Beverly.
The family will receive friends at Lohr & Barb Funeral Home of Elkins from 6 to 9 p.m. Saturday. Final rites will be conducted at the funeral home chapel Sunday, Oct. 7, at 1 p.m. The Rev. Mike House and the Rev. Tristan Tenney will officiate, and interment will follow in the Brick Church Cemetery at Huttonsville.
Lohr & Barb Funeral Home is in charge of the arrangements for Linda Sue Smith Wamsley. Condolences may be expressed to the family at www.lohrbarbfuneralhome.com.


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From Bill's Blog:
Part two is on Monica Wood. What a sweet, smart and humorous writer! I really enjoyed "When We Were the Kennedys." I read it in an odd order. I read the first ten pages, then the last one hundred because I thought the interview was the next day. This strategy helped get me through college! I then went back and read pages 11 through 100 which is where I was when I interviewed Monica. I then finished the book about five days later. Monica and I were born two weeks apart, so we have that in common, but little else. She is a very bright, thoughtful, perceptive person whereas I'm more of a bull in a china shop, but I really enjoyed meeting her. I highly recommend her books as does my wife who is an insatiable reader.


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EAST LANSING, Mich. - Daryll Clark was still in bed Saturday morning watching ESPN when analyst Todd McShay popped on the screen and began discussing quarterback play.
McShay promptly called Clark "an interception machine."
"I was like, 'man, that's kind of messed up,''' Clark said. "I thought it was a low blow. I was upset, really upset, but I couldn't let it affect me."
Clark kept his emotions in check - "you can't play quarterback angry," he said - and he led the Nittany Lions to a 42-14 victory over Michigan State in arguably their most impressive performance of the season.
In shaking off a slow start to wind up 19 of 27 for 310 yards and four touchdowns, Clark etched his name in the Penn State record book by becoming the all-time leader in single-season yardage (2,770), single-season touchdown passes (23) and career TD passes (42).
As usual, Clark accepted the accolades with humility.
Fact Box
1. Daryll Clark (2008-09).42
2. Todd Blackledge (1980-82).41
2. Tony Sacca (1988-91).41
2. Zack Mills (2001-04)..41
3. Kerry Collins (1991-94)39
4. Chuck Fusina (1976-78)37
1. Daryll Clark (2009)..23
2. Todd Blackledge (1982)22
3. Tony Sacca (1991).21
3. Kerry Collins (1994).21
4. Doug Strang (1983).19
1. Daryll Clark (2009).2,770
2. Kerry Collins (1994).2,679
3. Anthony Morelli (2007)2,651
4. Daryll Clark (2008) 2,592
5. Tony Sacca (1991) 2,488
"They definitely mean a lot to me," he said in the trailer outside Spartan Stadium that doubles as the visitors' media room. "Kerry Collins was a very good player, and for me to surpass him [in season yardage] is special. But I've been blessed with a great group of guys and coaches who have made it happen."
Clark was easily more pleased that the Lions kept themselves in consideration for a berth in the Bowl Championship Series and assured themselves of a second-straight season with 10 or more victories.
"After last week [against Indiana], to come out and play this way, on the road, the last game of the season, it really feels good," he said.
NCAA statistics are kept differently than they used to be. The teams of the 1970s and 1980s only played 11 regular-season games, and bowl games weren't included. Now the teams play 12 games and bowl stats are counted.
In that regard, it's tough to compare Clark to Collins and Todd Blackledge and Chuck Fusina. Each quarterbacked the Lions to an unbeaten season or a berth in the national championship game.
At the same time, the game is bigger, stronger and faster now than it's ever been, and Clark, unlike any of his predecessors, has only been a two-year starter.
Whether he ever takes an NFL snap - and, despite what McShay suggests, he'll at least be in somebody's camp, as a draftee or a free agent - Clark can surely feel good about being 21-4 as a PSU starter.
There are a whole lot of former Nittany Lion quarterbacks that can't claim that.
"Daryll's gotten a lot of criticism because he hasn't won in the quote-unquote big game or played well," quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno said. "[But] last year Michigan State came in and we were tied for the conference championship, and he threw for a zillion yards. Oregon State [he played well]. We went to Wisconsin and won, and we beat Michigan for the first time in a while. He's done a lot of things."
Clark was sacked four times Saturday and took a while to get going, but when the Lions needed him most, when they opened up the offense, he was more than up to the challenge, completing all eight of his second-half throws for 147 yards and three scores.
"He's lost, what, four games in two years?" Joe Paterno said. "The kid's a darned good quarterback."
The coaching staff helped Clark against the defenseless Spartans. Unveiling speedy Curtis Drake has helped back off the defense plus the Lions used routes to the fullback and the tight end up the sidelines that picked apart Michigan State.
Clark admitted a couple of the plays were gimmicks and smiled when asked if he likes them.
"When they work," he said.
Regular-season losses at Penn State aren't easily forgotten, and Clark readily admits the Iowa game "is definitely the one I'd like to have back."
At the same time, he's looking ahead at a strong opponent in a bowl game - the Orange, Fiesta or Capital One.
"To go through the ups and downs of the season and end it this way means a lot," he said. "I'm very fortunate to be around a great group of guys who have made plays. Without them, my name may not even be mentioned. I'm very proud of this football team."
And it is proud of him.
Regardless of what Todd McShay says.
Rudel can be reached at 946-7527 or email@example.com.


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Paul Huang, violin22-year-old Taiwanese-American violinist Paul Huang is a recipient of the Juilliard Achievement Award and the 2012 YCA Helen Armstrong Fellowship. He has performed with American and international orchestras. "An artist with the goods for a significant career" (Washington Post), Mr. Huang plays a 1638 Nicolo Amati violin.03/17/2014Time: 7:30 pmRodef Shalom, 4905 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh, PAwebsite | map
Recital & LuncheonPiano recital by Laura Williamson followed by a light lunch.03/18/2014Time: 12:00 pmLocation: First Lutheran Church, 415 Vine Street, Johnstown, PA website
Laura Williamson, pianoCanadian born-and-trained Johnstown pianist Laura Williamson performs "a romantic piano sampler" including Beethoven's Fur Elise, some Schubert waltzes, four of Grieg's Lyric Pieces, and a Paderewski menuet. A light lunch follows the recital.03/18/2014Time: 12:00 pmLocation: First Lutheran Church, 415 Vine St, Johnstown, PAwebsite
Music 101 - Rebecca CherianPSO Co-Principal Trombonist Rebecca Cherian gives an informal lecture/performance, titled "From the Back Row." Brown-bag lunches can be ordered ahead or you can bring your own to the Regency Rooms at Heinz Hall.03/20/2014Time: 12:30 pmHeinz Hall, 600 Penn Ave., Pittsburgh, PAwebsite | map
Neshome - New & Old Yiddish Music: Classic, Klezmer and moreThe Three Rivers Klezmer Festival presents Pittsburgh Symphony concertmaster Noah Bendix-Balgley; pianist, accordionist and Brave Old World director Aland Bern; and clarinetist Suzanne Ortner-Roberts playing traditional klezmer melodies and Jewish-themed classical works. Free admission.03/20/2014Time: 7:30 pmLocation: Rodef Shalom Sanctuary, 4905 Fifth Ave, Pittsburgh, PAwebsite
ABBA Mania03/20/2014Time: 8:00 pmLocation: Palace Theater, 21 W. Otterman St., Greensburg, PAwebsite
Bach Birthday concertRenaissance at Redeemer features a Bach motet and canons from the Musical Offering in performances by Chatham Baroque, with Justin Wallace, harpsichord, and vocal ensemble conducted by Don Franklin. Reception follows with Birthday Cake.03/20/2014Time: 4:00 pmLocation: Church of the Redeemer, 5700 Forbes Ave., Pittsburgh, PA website
Highlights from "The Ring" The PSO presents Euphonic Blues by Pittsburgh Composer of the Year, Nancy Galbraith. Mendelssohn's Piano Concerto #1 features acclaimed British-born pianist Stephen Hough. Donald Runnicles conducts famous orchestral excerpts from Wagner's epic opera cycle, Der Ring des Nibelungen.03/21/2014 - 03/23/201403/21 - 8:00 pm03/23 - 2:30 pmHeinz Hall, 600 Penn Ave., Pittsburgh, PAwebsite | map
By the Way, Meet Vera StarkVera Stark is a budding actress in an era where the only roles for African-American women are maids. When she is cast in the same Southern epic as her employer, an aging star grasping at her dwindling career, sparks fly. Written by Lynn Nottage and directed by Tome' Cousin, "By the Way, Meet Vera Stark" is a hilarious satire of race in the glamorous days of Old Hollywood.03/21/2014 - 04/06/2014Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Avenue Pittsburgh, PAwebsite | map
Music of ChileLuz Manriquez, piano.03/21/2014Time: 4:00 pmLaughlin Music Center, Chatham University, Pittsburgh, PAwebsite | map
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INCLINE VILLAGE, Nev. — There is a side of Vladimir Putin only his mother knew, and it is starting to emerge now in unguarded moments, that is to say, his mystifying love of animals and his secret desire to be a bird ... not just any bird -but a Crane.
This fantasy of Putin's was realized last week on the Yamal Peninsula in the Arctic, when Vladimir donned a feathery white suit, pulled on a white helmet, though passed on strapping a beak to his face. Casting aside that Dirty Harry look that has become his signature, he smiled a thin smile, climbed into a motorized hanglider, started up the engine and gave it the gas.
As a feathered Vladimir Putin took to the skies several Siberian Cranes looked heavenward and saw what they had been longing to see, a grampa to lead them to their winter home.
So there he was, Russia's Supreme Leader, replete with crane costume, leading a half-dozen teenage cranes fighting frantically to keep up. One wonders if he made crane calls, or was even able to make crane calls with his cheeks flapping in the wind so. Crane calls or not, these young cranes were looking for a way out of Siberia and here was their ticket.
But of course Vladimir is a busy man and as it was, had an appointment with the Asia Pacific Economic Forum in Vladivostok the next day and did not have time to fly six cranes to Iran, so to the disappointment of his faithful flock, he set down, handed his Big Bird suit off to another pilot, wished his adopted grandkids good luck, and hurried off to Vladivostok.
So what does Vladimir do when he arrives in Vladivostok? He goes straight to the new aquarium there in the city, where the animal that wins his attentions and affections is an octopus. Apparently, this octopus gave Vladimir a smile that only a true lover of animals could recognize, as Vladimir advised a staff-member that he'd like to pet the octopus. The staff-member quickly checked his book of rules, remembered who he was talking to, and instead of allowing Vladimir reach inside the aquarium, he hauls out the octopus, who is suddenly nonplussed. Putin, unaware of the change of humor in the octopus, commences to stroke one of his four pairs of legs, which is bad judgment, as unlike the young cranes, this old octopus does not recognize President Putin as his grandfather and makes a stab for his hand with his beak. Luckily for Putin, he was not trying to kiss the octopus at the time, or he might have had a close encounter photo that would not be flattering to a manly-man like Vladimir.
So what is next for Putin? May I humbly suggest he don a polar bear suit, I'm sure Greenpeace will loan him one, and lead the polar bears out of the arctic, where Gazprom is about to pioneer deep oil drilling. He could run ahead of the bears to that new zoo in Vladivostok and be a hero.
Yes, this is the Vladimir only his mother knew, and I imagine only she could tell us what to expect next from Russia's Supreme Leader.
— Learn more about McAvoy Layne at www.ghostoftwain.org.


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Jenny Hack began her advocacy journey at the Patient and Family Seminar in Boca Raton in February 2013. Talking with Jenny at the advocacy table, I asked if she would be our Advocacy Liaison to the North Florida Support Group and she stepped up immediately. Given it was already March 1, first on her list was making sure her town of Palm Coast declared March Myeloma Awareness Month. By the end of the month not only did Jenny have a proclamation, the mayor presented it to her at their city council meeting!
We honor her as Advocate of the Month due to the amazing success she has had with her friends and family emailing their legislators this fall. Not only have they all completed postcards to their legislators, but they took the extra step to send an email, so the message got there instantly. Jenny is going to deliver their postcards next week to reinforce the messages. Jenny shared with us about her journey and why she got involved.
I got involved in advocacy because I wanted to help in some way. After speaking to Aimee, I thought it might be a good fit for me; I want to support others by being an advocate for them. It was much easier than I thought to advocate for H.R.1801, The Cancer Drug Coverage Parity Act. Once I would explain the benefits of passing this bipartisan bill, people were more than happy to help, however they could. Whenever my husband and I would go to a party or get together, we would explain the bill, have folks sign the postcards and then we would collect them. In addition, our support group in Jacksonville, Florida participated in getting the word out and in getting the postcards signed.
After months of trying to get a meeting with my representative, I was able to speak with him about supporting H.R. 1801 right before Thanksgiving. I shared how I know what it feels to be asked for $8400.00 a month for 21 pills to save my life. Moreover, that I was more upset by that news then when I was diagnosed. Fortunately, this was only a mistake in coverage, but for many others it is a monthly reality. I made sure to mention that HR 1801 has republican cosponsors and remind him that cancer is a non-partisan issue. I see this bill as a way to unite our representatives to do something positive for their constituents. He gave no commitment except that he would look into the bill, so I wanted to make sure I reinforced my message.
I did not know when I would have the time to go to his office to drop off the postcards, but I wanted him to see the outpouring of support right away. Therefore, during Thanksgiving, we had our guests log in on my computer, complete the easy to use form Aimee created, and support the bill.
Through Aimee, and the IMF, it is easy to be an advocate. They have done all the work for us. There are standard forms that are customizable to our particular situation. They have made it simple for us to participate as an advocate and to get all the information we need as myeloma patients.
Lastly, I ask myself daily, "Am I living or just existing? The choice is ours, and I am certainly living."
Thank you Jenny for your great work over the holidays! We know with your commitment and living each day to its fullest, you will win Congressman DeSantis over and solidify his support for H.R. 1801! Have you sent an email to your friends and family asking them to take action? Click here to do so today!
On October 5th, the President signed the Improving Access to Clinical Trials Act into law.


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The hotel is right by the water's edge with wonderful views of the mountains.
The deep-blue, mirror-like lake is a little gem of national importance and home to the famous Blausee organic trout. The lake is located in the large car-free park which covers 22 hectares around the hotel.
Twisty paths invite visitors to wander among the mysterious boulders left by a prehistoric rock fall, and the unusually tall fir trees.
Here by the Blausee you can enjoy peace and quiet and the beauty of nature, wonderful food and a hotel with a very special atmosphere.


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This promotion is for Rewards members only. To take advantage of exclusive offers like these, join Office Depot® OfficeMax® Rewards now!
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Snacks & FoodView all 430 items
Be sure your staff stays energized and enthused by offering an array of office snacks. Whether you're stocking up on healthy office snacks for the morning crowd, quick meals for those staying late or party food for the next corporate function, there are plenty of satisfying choices sure to make any workday or special occasion more enjoyable. Keep a variety of sweet and salty snacks available not just for employees, but also for the reception area and clients dropping by for meetings.
Breakfast & Cereal
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Chips & Pretzels
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Make sure the office never runs out of salt or pepper. Choose from single-serving packs or shakers.
Cookies & Crackers
Keep everyone at the office smiling with the sweet goodness of various cookies and the satisfying, salty crunch of crackers.
Fruit Cups
Offer fruit cups packed in 100% juice as a nutritious office snack.
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Give your team the nutrition it needs by keeping an ample supply of nutritional drinks in a variety of flavors.
Nutritional, Granola & Trail Mix Bars
When there's little time for healthy eating, nutritional bars, granola bars and trail mix bars can ensure the body gets what it needs and can push through the workday.
Enjoy a quick and satisfying ready-to-eat meal, even at your desk.
Salty Snacks
Make snack time exciting with a variety of nuts, popcorn and jerky.


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This item is out of stock and will never be back in stock. If you purchase this item we will remove it from your order and refund you the purchase price. The page is here for reference only.
The Ninja Paintball 68ci/4500 PSI Carbon Fiber HPA tank is a DOT approved carbon fiber tank mounted with one of Ninja's supreme Regulators. Every one of the regulators mounted is an ATSM compliant (Bonnet Thread/DOT Burst Disk/Restrictor, Bleed Hole, and Safety Groove) Regulator made right here in the U.S.A that has an SRT piston (Sonic Recharge Technology), MFV (Mini Fill Valve) and a SPA (Shim Pressure Adjustment). These bad boys are hand crafted, factory tested and have a super low response curve of 0-50psi from full to empty.
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5 Deceptive Ways to Make Yourself Hotter (Temporarily)
As you've no doubt noticed, I'm a sensual man. I try to strike a balance in life between my serious, stoic, and business side and my irresistible, sexual-circus nature. It's a balancing act of awesomeness. But alas, like you, I find myself adrift in a sea of sexual deception with slowly deflating pool floaties and a semi-turgid pool noodle. How can we trust anything we see and grope in these days of butt implants and artificial strap-on vaginas? And it doesn't even have to be as permanent and expensive as surgery; there are plenty of low budget ways to turn yourself into a sexual tyrannosaur. It's becoming a chore to know if what you see is really what you're going to get when there are so many ways to make yourself appear more alluring that may literally fall apart when the lights turn off. Or turn on, if you're into the strobe light thing like I am.
Digital Vision./Digital Vision/Getty Images
There's an infamous advice column out there from the year 2005 in which a woman wrote to her paper asking for help with her godson and his potentially unwholesome interest in camel toads. Basically this lady was concerned that her godson was maybe getting high off of frogs when, in fact, he was just an ardent supporter of visible vagina. Snopes tells me that whole exchange was legit and that lady had merged camel toes and the practice of licking toxic toads into what would arguably be the coolest thing in the world if it were somehow true.
For those who don't know what a camel toe is, welcome to the Internet! My name is Felix, and I will be corrupting you from here on out. Please read some of my older work for insight into other awesome things like orgies and horror movies. Anyway, a camel toe is what we call it when a lady's gitch is vacuum sealed around her bits such that the outline is coming at us in 3D and does look, after a fashion, like the foot of some kind of dromedary. Though often unspoken, there's kind of a general assumption in the world that this look is undesirable. Most women, I think, based on no research whatsoever, probably don't want me and you and the bus driver to know the inner workings of their labia.
Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
"Next stop, Puffy Clam Station!"
Despite my belief that camel toe is generally unfavorable, there's no such thing as a guarantee and nothing in this world is 100 percent. So there's a market out there for camel-toe-enhancing panties, padded underwear that actually makes you appear to have meatier curtains than your average abattoir. For what purpose would someone want to overemphasize the stature of their female genitalia? I can't say for sure, but honestly, I'd look and keep looking. I'm not a good man.
I can't help but wonder to what degree these things accentuate and promote your goodies, if it's enough that you'd be stymied when the pants came off and the real deal was less ostentatious. If anyone has experienced this, please let me know.
#4. Bulge-Enhancing Undies
We've covered these on Cracked before, but I feel it would be a disservice to my column here to not pay lip service (a term I specifically chose for the awkward imagery it invokes) to the male side of that camel toe coin. As an aside, is "moose knuckle" the only male term we have that comes close to "camel toe"? I don't feel it lives up to the glamour of "camel toe"; we need something like "tapir's leg" or "sloppy Oktoberfest" or something.
The world of bulge enhancement is vastly more complex than you'd imagine. For instance, some companies exist solely to outfit female-to-male transgendered persons who want to fully and completely look like dudes, or at least the sorts of dudes who walk around bulging their junk all up in everyone's business all the time. Other companies provide "pouches" that you have to jam your bits into. Why? Seems like I should quote a website here -- "The back of the pouch softly hugs the area behind your scrotum with just enough tension to lift your genitals up and forward, preventing your boys from falling between your legs and providing a natural bulge-enhancing effect." It softly hugs your taint. You know what else softly hugs your taint? Cell mates.
Darrin Klimek/Digital Vision/Getty Images
"Gonna get all up in that taint, sweet thang."
You can buy dong-shaped inserts that make your business look larger or simply get push-up undies that have some kind of table or ramp or whatever sewed into them that you place your goodies on to make them stand up proud for all to see. But at the end of the day, you're being very deceptive if your balls naturally dangle halfway down your thighs and you're trying to present everything like a tight package of mighty crotch fortitude. Anyone you sex is going to be wise to this once the pants come off and they see that you've got mechanical parts or hilarious pouches holding and stretching your bits all catawampus.
#3. Boob Cutlets
The first time I ever heard the word "cutlet" was maybe when I was 6 or so and my mom bought a box of frozen chicken cutlets. We had them for dinner and they were jacked. Just rancid little shitlets of brown C.H.U.D. meat assembled into something like a burger and breaded so I wouldn't see the affront that was about to befall me until it was too late. I have to assume the meat was mostly asshole and knuckle meat that had been stripped off with a power washer and crammed together in some kind of deep-ocean pressure tank. Shit.
Since my childhood, I have obviously had an aversion to any kind of cutlet, and it's no wonder, since these boob cutlets exist and are potentially even more offensive and damaging than chicken cutlets. What's a boob cutlet, you ask? It's a flappy little wingding of silicon or some similar rubbery material that can be jammed under a boob in order to lift it and make it appear bigger and more wonderful. Well, a pox on you, boob cutlets.
100 percent pure chicken anus.
First, boobs are pretty great all the time. Only a small handful of boobs are ever worthy of disdain, and those are weird Tarantinoverse boobs that are sinister and maladroit, like the ones on that lady in the tub from The Shining. Horror titties, basically. All other boobs are wonderful, and ladies, stop thinking that anything else is the case.
All cutlets do is set up false expectations. Most of us are well aware of the nature of gravity, the elasticity of flesh, and what happens to a human when they lie down. Don't feel weird about boobs going off in crazy directions -- I could tell you some stories about what my balls do during the day. That's just the way people are, it's fine. Boobs are fine. But when you subject one to cutlets and suddenly the rest of us are thinking your boobs were mounted on a 90-degree angle and are made from firm, supple boob molecules when, in fact, removing the cutlets is like removing the jack from under a '77 Pontiac and the whole chassis is going to come crashing down, it's just weird and unkind.