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The 7 Worst Lessons 80s Cartoons Taught Us About Drugs
The cartoons we grew up on were about men in fur underwear wielding magic swords. We didn't expect them to teach us a lot about real-world problems. But either because of political pressures during the Reagan administration, or as a way to cover the fact that they were aggressively high while making it, many of them felt the need to include at least one anti-drug episode. These were exactly as informative as you'd expect.
He-Man -- "Hypocrisy and Violence Are Fine (As Long As You Win)!"
Cartoons had two choices when portraying drug addicts: turn one of the main characters into an idiot or import one specifically to hook them on drugs. The creators of He-Man chose the second option harder than they get when they see shirtless men. Enter Teela's friend Illeena, who is weaker than natural selection in John and Kate's house and even more annoying to watch. Illena is visiting, and while everyone on Eternia has a stupid superpower, Illeena skips the middle man and sets about proving that stupidity can be its own superpower. Her first words are, "Are we there yet?" after the ship has already landed. We soon learn that her defense against minefields, magic spells and meeting friends is to sit down and whine.
She's also the noble for whom a boob tube would be formal wear.
You'd cheer anything which changed her personality, up to and including decapitation. An evil wizard agrees and gets her hooked on a magic potion. He-Man, who secretly hides from his friends to inject magic strength-boosting power into his body with a pointy metal implement at least once every 27 minutes, disapproves. He also forcibly injects a friend against their will so that they can have a better time together, making him the Titanic Team-Up version of date rape.
Not pictured: consent.
He couldn't have been more hypocritical if he'd started campaigning against fur and public nudity, and his brilliant plan is to call the dealer and start a fight. WARNING: THIS ONLY WORKS IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY HE-MAN. Having defeated evil magic and common sense, He-Man then dares logic to kill him by staring directly at the camera and saying there's no such thing as a magic solution to all your problems.
Fortunately, irony bounces off He-Man like lasers and homoerotic subtext.
Galaxy High -- "Winners TOTALLY Do Drugs!"
In Galaxy High, aliens sent people to high school instead of anally probing them. Of course, if you're the sort of person who fondly remembers Galaxy High, high school probably seems like the worse fate. This episode mocks both jocks and drugs, which is bad news for Doyle, a jock who takes drugs. The alien "Brain Blaster" drugstitute can make you brilliant at any one thing but criminally retarded at everything else.
What drugs looked like in 80s cartoons.
The Brain Blaster is dealt by Punk McThrust, the best porno name ever accidentally given to a cartoon character. It reduces Doyle from idiot to criminal bum in about 15 minutes. Doyle then becomes convinced he needs one last hit to play in the Psyche Hockey Championship. Fortunately, his friends rescue him, throw away the Blaster, tell him to believe in himself and he finds that inside him all along was the power to have his ass handed to him in public. He is absolutely destroyed. No one has lost a public sporting event so humiliatingly since Spain entered healthy basketballers in the 2000 Paralympics.
But it magically works out when his opponent is revealed to be using a Brain Blaster, just like Doyle wanted to. Everyone in the championship was either on drugs or sucked. There is absolutely no middle ground. Winners DO Take Drugs -- it's just that they get caught and punished.
Update: nope.
At no point is being on drugs anything less than fantastic -- it's only not being able to afford the drugs or being caught that suck. When addicts would agree with your anti-drug episode it may have a few problems. Fortunately, kids were quickly cued into the fact that this space cartoon doesn't cohere to real life since athletes actually surrender their awards and go to jail when caught.
Via 80s Cartoons.net
Anything to get them away from that audience.
Smurfs -- "Violence Solves Everything, Especially If You're Tiny"
It's hard to talk seriously about drugs when you're bright blue, living in a giant mushroom and have replaced 50 percent of your vocabulary with your own species' name the same way stoners say "man" every second word. Which is probably why Smurfs got it ass-backwards with a drug that makes them work harder and also means wow we're really talking about Smurf-cocaine here.
Via Costume Fail
In retrospect we should have suspected something.
Poet Smurf is hanging out by a babbling brook under the bole of an old oak tree, the Smurf equivalent of an inner-city ghetto, when an evil witch gives him the magic orb. This orb makes Smurfs work 10 times faster but also makes them terrible at their jobs. And when you're named after your occupation, that's a drug-fueled existential problem way more serious than "What's it all really all about, Smurf?" When Grandpa Smurf confiscates the orb, it results in a Smurfian crimewave: a single count of breaking and entering. Well, "entering without asking" because Smurf doors don't have locks. But that's just as serious when your entire society depends on everyone A) being best friends and B) not doing anything hasty about how there's only one girl.
Hefty Smurf tip: Giving the strong guy a tattoo saves you from learning to draw a different shape.
Discovering that his friends are addicted, Hefty Smurf destroys their supply and shouts at them. Demonstrating a very unSmurfy understanding of the real world, this doesn't work and instead drives the Smurfjunkies into chemical slavery. That's when Hefty singlehandedly attacks the witch's stronghold. The addicts then smash up her magic crystals and Jokey Smurf blows her up with one of his "joke gifts" -- or as we'd call it now, an IED. So the Smurf response to drug dealers is unrelenting violence, making Hefty the smallest, bluest Punisher in history.
And the only male smurf to ever inspire voyeurism.
GI Joe -- "You Can Abandon Every Other Moral as Long as You Don't Take Drugs"
GI Joe and COBRA discover "Spark" when a lunatic gets high and charges into a civilian airport armed with missiles and more drugs. GI Joe caught terrorists so often that he spent the entire decade fighting the same exact ones, and this episode is no exception. The drug-crazed airport attacker is none other than the Joe's own Lt. Falcon, whom you might remember from other episodes as the team screw up. If there was a mistake to make, a female Joe to harass or drugs around, Falcon was on all three (until the woman punched him).
Lt. Falcon's preflight checklist. When most people get high they don't add "altitude" and "explosives."
In this episode, he's defeated by drug dealers, gravity and a door before Duke kicks him out of the Joes for being on drugs. Duke then rewards COBRA for not being on drugs and teams up with him, despite the fact that he's still the evil terrorists he's sworn to destroy. Every single other Joe is against this plan, and Bulletproof opts for a less drastic more sane option: advising Falcon to get help.
When your common-sense guy carries two live grenades at all times, you're in trouble.
Nobody listens to Bulletproof's logic, which is fortunate, because the combined Joe/COBRA force ends up fighting the greatest drug villain of all-time. The Headman looks like Miami Vice created their own Joker by knocking a villain into a vat of concentrated 80s, and is so evil and high that he cannot keep his voice the same tone, accent or volume for two consecutive syllables.
More proof from the 80s that you should shoot men with blond ponytails on sight.
The Headman takes on every single enemy next to his huge vat of drugs and he ends up overdosing and exploding. And then he's dead. It's the only official death in a series where everyone's primary occupation was "Fire guns at each other."
If you only have one death for the whole series, it might as well be Mr. Pedostache here.
To quickly recap: The Joes abandon their job, their morals, start hanging around with COBRA (GI Joe's resident wrong crowd) and eventually kill someone for the first time, all because of drugs. For a group so violently opposed to drug addiction, that sounds a lot like being a violent drug addict.


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subset: commoncrawl


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I'm glad to be back.
It was fun.
I met awesome people.
We did stuff.
What do you want to know?
See Part 1 answers here.
See Part 2 answers here.
See Part 3 answers here.
Subscribe to my blog here
Twitter me- I'm babysteph
Do airlines let you wear your baby onto the plane and in your seat?
What was the biggest challenge traveling with Ivy?
(Can you tell I've never traveled with an infant?)
Is Ivy feeling better? Did the awful cough leave your home?
Who is your very most favorite blogger from the conference? (Kidding, that wouldn't be a fair question, it's a joke...)
I want to know what you thought of Jenny and Emily from Mommin'It Up. Were they everything you HOPED they'd be?? :) Srsly, your writing with passion panel was my FAVORITE one and I gave you girls a shout-out on Mommin' It Up today. Thanks so much, it was awesome to meet you!ReplyDelete
I think what stood out to me the most was the value of relationships - true ones.ReplyDelete
It sounded like you guys were having so much fun. I am really sorry I missed it. DO you and Ivy feel better? I was thinking of you all day yesterday having to travel while you were sick.ReplyDelete
Ha! Get some rest girl!ReplyDelete
Glad you girls had fun! Hope you two are both feeling better after your nasty colds!
Did you enjoy TN?
Did any speakers share something that really sticks out in your mind as a reason to attend an event like this?ReplyDelete
I want to know how it was to travel with your baby. How was it on the plane? Did you have to bring a car seat for the cab or do they provide one?
Oh and if you have pictures and fun stories I'd love to know that kind of stuff ;)
OHHHHHHH - And HOW did it go for your first speaking gig? I assume this was your first?ReplyDelete
Did you cloth diaper Ivy while you were at the conference? If so, how did it go?ReplyDelete
Are these conference for ANYONE? or just "professional" bloggers?ReplyDelete
Did you laugh a lot?
Did you borrow anyone's really cute, really adorable shoes?
Did you eat ice cream?
who did you meet, what did you do? did you enjoy yourself? bought anything?ReplyDelete
How did your panel go? Were Beth's shoes even more gorgeous in person than in photos? Because I was drooling.ReplyDelete
what types of things do you learn at a blogging conference?ReplyDelete
OH, I want to know everything! Just run down your days and all the best parts!!!ReplyDelete
Welcome back momma!
How did Ivy's first plane ride go?
You were a speaker at Blissdom,how did it go?
Can't wait to hear all about it.
This post made me laugh.
I'm glad to hear they let you wear Ivy on the plane. I'm not sure exactly why Northwest wouldn't let me wear Baby Buddy during take-off, but I followed the rules as they were given to me. :-)
As a Nashville native I'm curious what you thought of the city.
What did you learn?ReplyDelete
Glad you had a great time! I hope this week goes well for you. I always had more trouble with the fallout after I got home than with the actual time being gone.ReplyDelete
Yeah, I just want to know everything since I wasn't there and feel like I totally missed out.
Spare no detail, girl!!
Guess who's sling should be here in just a couple days :) Thanks for your help!! JenniferReplyDelete
Did you have fun despite being ill?
Did you have fun despite being out of sorts and knocking things over all the time?
Did you get enough Little Debbie snacks?
Sounds like fun. Seems like you summed it up nicely.ReplyDelete
Hi there!
I just wanted to let you know that I left you an award!
It was great chatting with ya on Saturday night - hope you're resting up after all the excitement! :)ReplyDelete
What did you learn that you'll be applying to your blog?ReplyDelete
Define "stuff"!ReplyDelete
Did you learn the secret blogger handshake?ReplyDelete
Oh, I want to hear all about it! And did you take lots of photos? Please do share.
More specifically, I'd love to know:
1. Who were the top 3-5 bloggers that you really "connected" with and/or enjoyed meeting?
2. How did Blissdom compare to BlogHer? Which conference would you recommend to a mom blogger?
3. I know Walmart was one of the sponsors. Did you learn anything new/interesting about the company? How are they hoping to work with bloggers in the future?
4. Were there any panels about "monetization" and, if so, what were the best "take-away" tips?
I hope you and Ivy had a wonderful time!


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I had my cry and it felt good. I don't know how to say thank you enough.
It was the most beautiful day today. Ashlee & I drove up to the city to see Jaymi and her new little Popeye. We were bearing lots of goodies thanks to some wonderful Mamas in our park playgroup like Robin & Jen.
Deep breaths, prayer, sunshine, & friends
will do a weary heart good.
Selah, Xavier, & Gray...
There is just nothing like good friends.


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If you like the way it smells then it's a good batch.
Ordered the 4.0 oz. for my dad for his birthday wanted to know if this is a good batch
lot: S42B12C01
If you like the way it smells then it's a good batch.
Looking for 15U11 Creed Aventus!
Where did you get it from
Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2
I think someone mentioned on this forum that they purchased their Aventus from scentedmonkey and they really liked it. Dunno if they got the same batch as you though.
Have a tester of Aventus with that Batch number. Smells great to me. That's all that matters man.


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Nightlife Photos
Party Pics: A girls night out for 'Girls' screening at the Granada
Photo: Jerry McClure/Special Contributor
Lisa Donohoe, Jenny Berger, Thais Moses and K K Roberts attended the Granada Theater's Girls Night Out party celebrating HBO's third season premiere of hit series "Girls."
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Director Chris Cunningham created the film for Flora by Gucci, starring model Abbey Lee Kershaw. The campaign captures the fragrance's seductive, ultra-feminine nature while also emphasizing its power and confidence.
A young woman in a diaphanous Flora print dress
stands waist-deep in a pristine field of white flowers, illuminated from
behind by the setting sun. She bends and channels the power of the wind
to bring the blossoms to life before shape-shifting into an ephemeral,
dancing form of fabric and golden light.
Shot over four days in Latvia, the film's field was created using more than 20,000 fake flowers.
Discover all Gucci Parfums videos on our Youtube channel


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In his individual events for the weekend at the WVU Invite, Bohman won three of four events, nearly taking another pool record this season in the 200 back, with a time of 1:48.19. He also won the 100 fly (49.80) and 100 back (48.49). In the 50 free, he finished second with a time of 21.06. In Bohman's relay events for the weekend, all four teams he was on placed first. The 200 free relay team set a new pool record with a time of 1:21.66. Bohman also swam on the winning 200 medley relay (1:31.58), the 400 free relay (3:02.61) and the 400 medley relay (3:23.85) teams.
WVU Athletes of the Week
Fall 2013
Week 1: Kelsie Maloney, Women's Soccer
Week 2: Brittany Sample, Volleyball
Week 3: Andy Bevin, Men's Soccer
Week 4: Jordan Anderson, Volleyball
Week 5: Frances Silva, Women's Soccer
Week 6: Kate Schwindel, Women's Soccer
Week 7: Karen Verwey, Women's Rowing
Week 8: Haily VandePoel, Women's Swimming & Diving
Week 9: Kelly Williams, Women's Cross Country
Week10: Bryce Bohman, Men's Swimming & Diving
This Week in Women's Soccer
The No. 6-ranked West Virginia University women's soccer team is idle this week in prepartion for the Big 12 Conference tournament in Kansas City, Mo., from Nov. 6-10.
Last Week in Women's Soccer
The Mountaineers concluded their regular season on the road at Oklahoma and at No. 7 Texas Tech ... WVU came back from a 1-0 deficit against the Sooners on Oct. 25 to clinch the Big 12 regular season title, 2-1 ... the Mountaineers suffered their first regular-season loss in conference play since joining the Big 12, falling to the Red Raiders, 2-0, in Lubbock, Texas, on Oct. 27.
Notes and Quotes
Senior forward Frances Silva tallied her team-high 12th goal of the season to knot the the score at 1-1 at Oklahoma ... Silva assisted the golden goal scored by junior forward Kate Schwindel in the 102nd minute against the Sooners ... Silva's assist broke the single-season program record (13) ... sophomore midfielder Amanda Hill was credited the assist on Silva's goal, her second of the season.
Coach Nikki Izzo-Brown: "To win four straight conference championships says a lot, not only about the alumni but also the character of this program and this team. It's a great feeling to witness this team play again and see how much they battled for another championship. I'm so excited we get to bring this home because this is a great one."
This Week in Men's Soccer
The Mountaineers will travel to Buffalo for their final road game of the season on Friday, Nov. 1, at 7:30 p.m.
Last Week in Men's Soccer West Virginia 0-0-2 with a pair of scoreless draws … WVU traveled to American on Oct. 22, before hosting Western Michigan in Mid-American Conference action on Oct. 26.
Notes and Quotes WVU records sits at 6-6-4 overall and 1-2-1 in Mid-American Conference play … junior goalkeeper Lee Johnston has now posted three-straight shutouts and WVU is unbeaten in four-consecutive matches … the Mountaineers combined to outshoot the opponents 27-19 in those two matches.
This Week in Volleyball
West Virginia will face in-state rival Marshall on Tuesday, Oct. 29, at 6:30 p.m., for the 46th time in 40 seasons, and conference foe Texas Tech on Saturday, Nov. 2, at 1 p.m, with both matches played at the WVU Coliseum.
Last Week in Volleyball
The Mountaineers fell to No. 1 Texas on Wednesday, Oct. 23, and at Oklahoma on Saturday, Oct. 26 ... the Sooners marked WVU's third-straight opponent ranked inside the RPI top 15 ... freshman outside hitter Jordan Anderson recorded 16 kills in each match.
Notes and Quotes
Freshman outside hitter Jordan Anderson continues to lead the Big 12 in kills per set for the fourth-consecutive week … West Virginia leads the all-time series against Marshall 28-17, with the Herd claiming nine of the last 10 meetings … WVU will face Texas Tech on Saturday for the second time this season ... the Mountaineers won the first meeting between the two schools in Lubbock, Texas, on Oct. 5 in four sets.
Coach Jill Kramer: "We'll get in the gym and will get better. We have played three teams consecutively who are ranked No. 1, No. 11 and No. 15 in the RPI, respectively, and that will make us a better team, because we have competed hard against them."
This Week in Cross Country
WVU women's cross country travels to Waco, Texas, for the 2013 Big 12 Cross Country Championships on Saturday, Nov. 2, on the Cottonwood Golf Course.
Last Week in Cross Country
The Mountaineers were idle last week.
Notes and Quotes
WVU won the PSU Nationals in its most-recent competition on Friday, Oct. 18 … the Mountaineers posted a season-low score of 28, with four runners claiming top-5 finishes.
This Week in Tennis
WVU women's tennis concludes its fall season at the Big Green Invite in Hanover, N.H., from Nov. 1-3.
Last Week in Tennis
The Mountaineers were idle last week.
Notes and Quotes
At the ITA Atlantic Regionals, sophomore Vivian Tsui tallied two wins on day one to qualify for the main bracket, where she won her first round match on day two before falling in straight sets ... doubles pair of sophomore Hailey Barrett and junior Ikttesh Chahal tallied a win in the second round after having a first-round bye as the No. 7 seed ... freshman Kaja Mrgole recorded her team-high sixth singles match win on the third day ... the freshmen tandem of Mrgole and Oana Manole won three consecutive doubles matches before falling in the quarterfinal.
This Week in Rifle
WVU will host two teams this weekend… the Mountaineers will host GARC foe No. 13 Mississippi on Saturday, Nov. 2, and No. 16 Akron on Sunday, Nov. 3…both matches will be held at the WVU Rifle Range, beginning at 8 a.m., with the last relay scheduled to be shot late afternoon.
Last Week in Rifle
WVU (3-0, 2-0 GARC) shot in their second GARC match of the season against No. 12 Army (2-2, 1-2 GARC) at the WVU Rifle Range, with a 4695-4669 victory over the Black Knights… the Mountaineers won air rifle 2349-2335, while the Huskers won smallbore 2315-2307.
Notes and Quotes
Sophomore Garrett Spurgeon placed first in smallbore with a 586 score ... Spurgeon also placed second in air rifle with a score of 590 ... Spurgeon shot a match-best 1176 combined score, improving on his season high … junior Maren Pre¬diger won air rifle with a 596 score … junior Meelis Kiisk shot a 585, placing third in smallbore … junior Thomas Kyanko placed fifth (583) and sophomore Patrick Sunderman placed sixth (583) in the gun … senior Daniel Sojka placed third in air rifle with a 589 score, a new season high and one point shy of his career-best score.
Coach Jon Hammond: "I am pleased with this week. We had really good scores in smallbore and we were consistent. Nothing was spectacular, but everyone improved across the board. We were surprised to see how high the team score was."
This Week in Swimming & Diving
The Mountaineers are off this week ... WVU's next competition is in Charlottesville, Va., where they will compete with Virginia, Texas and Penn State from Nov. 8-9.
Last Week in Swimming & Diving
The Mountaineers hosted the WVU Invite featuring men's and women's teams from Villanova and Cincinnati, as well as the women's team from James Madison.
Notes and Quotes
The men's team finished first in the standings with a total of 1,373 points, while the women's team finished third with 747 total points … in the men's 200 free relay, the "A" team of Squires, Vialette, Bohman, and Glegg capped Friday night off for the men's squad with a new pool record and a first-place finish with a time of 1:21.66 … in the men's 200 medley relay, the "A" team of senior Bryce Bohman, junior Christopher Brill, junior Julien Vialette and junior Tim Squires won with a time of 1:31.58 … in the men's 400 IM, freshman Nate Carr took first with a time of 4:05.58, while Querciagrossa took third with a time of 4:11.59 … in the women's 100 fly, Ogden took the event with a time of 57.45 … the men swept the top three spots and six of the top eight in the 100 fly, with Bohman winning the event with a time of 49.80, followed by Marsh in second (51.93) and sophomore Chase Williams in third (52.45) … sophomore Keith Carmichael took the 3-meter for the men with a score of 329.55, qualifying for the NCAA Zone Championships ... senior Liam McLaughlin placed second with a score of 291.10 … junior Haily VandePoel won the 1-meter for the women's team with a score of 279.00 ... sophomore Lindsay Schmidt finished third with a score of 231.05.
Coach Vic Riggs: "We had two very strong sessions (Saturday). These were quick sessions and several of our kids had two really strong swims with a short turn around in either the morning or afternoon session."
This Week in Rowing
The Mountaineers travel to the Head of the Occoquan in Fairfax, Va., on Saturday, Nov. 2 ... a select varisty squad will compete in the Collegiate Small Boat Challenege on Sunday, Nov. 3, in West Windsor, N.J.
Last Week in Rowing
WVU rowing competed at the Head of the Schuylkill on Saturday, Oct. 26, in Philadelphia.
Notes and Quotes
In the Frosh/Novice Open 4+, the crew of Madison James, Louisa Morgan, Megan Brophy and Abigail Fondren took 23rd with a time of 23:29.74 ... oin the Open 4+, Elizabeth Duarte, Elizabeth Kantak, Karen Verwey, Courtney Schrand and Emily Deming earned bronze with a time of 16:55.31 ... Melinda Sharon, Bethany Anne Sapen, Mollie Rosen, Tamyra Roberts and Sarah Dodd finished 10th of 40 in the Open 4+ with a time of 17:38.05 ... Lisa Deklau, Kelly Kramer, Jes¬sica Hurlbert, Rachel Cokeley with Caitlin Madamba took 15th of 40 with an 18:01.90 ... In the Open club 8+, Melinda Sharon, Kelly Kramer, Hannah Onians, Tamyra Roberts, Mollie Rosen, Megan Brophy, Elizabeth Duarte, Courtney Schrand and Morgan Leach finished 8th of 40 with a 16:42.58 ... the crew of Kaitlyn Eason, Bethany Anne Sapen, Alison Coates, Susannah Hartlove, Lisa Deklau, Louisa Morgan, Madison James, Marika Hoskins and Alexandra Basil crossed the line in 16th of 40 in 17:27.52 ... Caroline Mullins, Allyson Pytlak, Kimberlie May, Kendra Welker, Addie Dulaney, Summer Socha, M. Kaitlyn Cook, Sarah Taylor and Brittany James finished 34th with a time of 18:36.90 ... in the Open Heavy Champion¬ship 8+ final, Elizabeth Duarte, Kelly Kramer, Mollie Rosen, Rachel Cokeley, Jessica Hurlbert, Elizabeth Kantak, Karen Verwey, Courtney Schrand and Mallory Fisher crossed the line in 12th place of 20 boats in 16:46.80. Coach Jimmy King: "Our top Open 4+ crew raced to a bronze medal finish, and although it has been a while since WVU earned a medal at the Schuylkill, there was a bit of disappointment in an opportunity lost coming so close to a win."
This Week in Wrestling
West Virginia University wrestling open up its 2013-14 season at the Virginia Duals on Saturday, Nov. 2, in Charlottesville, Va. ... The Mountaineers match up with Gardner-Webb, Anderson and Virginia.
Last Week in Wrestling
WVU did not compete last week.
Notes and Quotes
Senior Nathan Pennesi returns after competing at the NCAA Championships last season and tallying 22 wins on the year ... junior Brutus Scheffel and sophomore Bubba Scheffel return after each recording double digit wins in their respective weight classes.


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Reading this, I can't help thinking that Forbes data set is seriously flawed.
according to forbes, 13 teams are losing money
Economics 101 would teach you that the value of a financial asset is roughly proportional to the income that this asset provides, with some caveats.
If that is true, then Forbes numbers make no sense. Teams that lose money should not be worth anything,let alone $145 mil. This suggests to me that not all income that the hockey teams provde to their owners is accounted for here. There must be some creative accounting going on.
And even if we accepted these numbers, still, the league made $250 mil. in income. ($8 mil.+ per team). That suggests either expanded revenue sharing or a drastic contraction of the money losing teams are in order. Since teams that lose money are still spending more on salaries than they have to due to the cap floor, the problem is not labor costs, but irresponsible financial management.


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Top Definition
A boring little town with a LOT of freaks that live there. There has got to be at least 20 fast food resturaunts and 8 gas stations. There is nothing to do, unless you want to go grocery shopping, or get obece. There are 2 grocery stores, an elementry, and a middle school. There's only 2 stoplights. Theres a few other things. If you want fast food or pizza Miltons gotcha covered!
If you want to go somewhere fun, never go to Milton, WV.
Beküldő: whatintheworldisapseudonym 2011. augusztus 1.
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Can you define these popular missing words?


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About two weeks ago, my husband presented me with the idea that he had volunteered our family to be a part of a Fox 31 News Special about being an "unplugged" family.
He said we wouldn't be able to use social media for a week. I thought to myself, "I got this. Not a big deal at all!"
So I agreed, and later that day he called and let me know that the news crew would be over the following Monday (last Monday) for our initial interview and to officially "unplug."
Along with the no social media rule was no TV, no movies, no Kindles, no computers, no Internet and no texting.
No Pinterest? Wait, what? Why was I just thinking this was a Facebook fast? My confidence slowly dwindled.
The only technology we COULD use was the radio, and might I say I think that saved me this past week?
Remember, I am a stay at home mom. Don't you know my routine of folding clothes revolves around my DVR'd shows?
Not only that, but the Monday that the news crew came over, I woke up with a headache, sore throat and body aches. Don't you know all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV when I don't feel good? Yeah, pretty funny, huh? Let me rephrase: I WISH I could just lay on the couch and watch TV when I don't feel good.
We made it through Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday… and that's when it hit me. I had "one of those days."
I felt awful, I was exhausted, I missed my husband (he had meetings the two nights prior) and this stay at home mom just wanted to watch a little "Glee." Is that too much to ask? After having a little pillow talk with Ray (and after he went and got me a grape Gatorade and some convenience store nachos) I felt much better (and, no, I'm not pregnant).
Friday came around and they called to ask if they could get some footage of what we are doing to keep us busy with no technology. Perfect, that is the night we decided to have a campout in our living room.
I'll just say this: I would never make it on a reality TV show. Having someone film every move you make while trying to act "normal" is the most nervewracking feeling in the world (I am not surprised that Ray, Emaleigh and Eydan loved every minute of it, though).
During our campout, we made s'mores, and I guarantee that my five minutes of fame is going to be me smiling with chocolate smeared all over my teeth… just wait and see.
Anyway, we are now two hours away from the news crew showing up to do our final interview. We have been unplugged for 168 hours. I must admit I cheated a few times. I recorded Emaleigh's Views of Youth program for school (on my phone), I responded to a text from a mom of a little girl that I watch (technically, that was work), and I am using the computer to type my blog right now.
I feel so rebellious.
This week has been trying but worth every minute of it. I just realized this morning that I haven't heard my kids say, "We're bored! What can we do?" once! They know they have to keep themselves entertained, and they've done a great job.
It's OK to put your phones on the counter and leave them there. Facebook, Twitter, Words with Friends and even random texts can wait. Your family should be the most important thing in your life. Don't miss out on the little things in your own home because you're so focused on what everyone else is talking about in theirs.
Can I encourage other families out there to unplug? Even if it's for a week, a couple days, or even a few hours, you and your family will be better for it in the end.
I'll be sure to let you all know when this airs on the news. Yep, that's me…the one with the bright cherry red face and black teeth acting as normal as possible.
Caiti Mondragon is married with three children. Read her Tuesdays on Greeley Moms. Also check out her personal blog at mrsmomdragon.wordpress.com.
During our campout, we made s'mores, and I guarantee that my five minutes of fame is going to be me smiling with chocolate smeared all over my teeth… just wait and see.


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This collar is a fantastic choice for any dog who loves nature! The color is sweet and light, a fantastic way to bring a soft touch of springtime to your dog's wardrobe! Little butterflies flit and fly around the collar, adding a dash of fun! Never again will you have to suffer with a boring collar. This is the perfect choice for you!
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Tahoe Parents Nursery School in South Lake Tahoe will hold a special fall open house on Monday, Sept. 10. The schools' teachers will be available to answer questions and help interested families become familiar with the preschool program.
The meet-and-greet event will be from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Al Tahoe Learning Center, 1100 Lyons Blvd., South Lake Tahoe.
Families interested in attending preschool can come and meet the teachers, tour the school and apply for the 2012-13 school year. Families with children currently younger than preschool age may also visit and learn about adding their child to the future waiting list. Call 530-541-8767 for additional information.


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Takahashi - Large Juraplate for Mewlon 250/Losmandy Mount
Use this large adapter plate to attach a Takahashi Mewlon 250 OTA to a Losmandy mount.... Learn MoreModel#: TAA0250
Takahashi - Band Adapter for 2-Hole Telescopes to NJP Mount
This Band adapter allows 2-hole (8mm X 1.25 screws) Takahashi tube holders, and other accessories that match that pattern, to attach to the NJP, a 4-hole mount.... Learn MoreModel#: TBA0100
Takahashi - 2x Barlow Extender
The Takahashi 2x Barlow Extender is excellent when using it in combination with apochromatic refractors.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TBL0002(48 States)
Takahashi - Collimating Eyepiece for Newtonians & Cassegrains
Great tool for collimating a Newtonian or Cassegrain telescope. This item should be used with Takahashi collimating tube (sold separately).... Learn MoreModel#: TCE0020
Takahashi - Newtonian Collimating Tube with Crosshair
Tube with crosshair for use with collimating eyepiece (sold separately). For collimating Newtonian telescopes.... Learn MoreModel#: TCE0030
Takahashi - Collimating Telescope for Refractors, Cassegrains, & Ritchey-Chretiens
Designed for use on refractor, Ritchey-Chrieten and classical Cassegrain telescopes. The Takahashi Collimating Telescope is also used on the Takahashi CN-212, Mewlons and refractors of 820mm or more in focal length... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TCE0100(48 States)
In Stock$284.00
Takahashi - Temma-2 GoTo Conversion Kit for Takahashi NJP Mount
Add GoTo capabilities to your NJP mount with this 350X Temma II Conversion Kit. Includes software & cables. A PC or the optional Temma Hand Controller is required for GoTo operations.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TCK0001(48 States)
Takahashi - Temma-2 Jr. GoTo Conversion Kit for EM-10 USD Mounts
Add GoTo capabilities to your EM-10 USD (not USD III) mount with this 250X Temma II, Jr. Conversion Kit. Includes encoders, electronics, control box, cables and software.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TCK0003(48 States)
Takahashi - Temma-2 Jr. GoTo Conversion Kit for EM-10 USD III Mount# Add GoTo capabilities to your EM-10 USD III mount with this 300X plug-in Temma II, Jr. Conversion Kit.# The kit includes encoders, electronics, control box, cables and software.# This kit is for USD III versions of the EM-10 mount ... Learn More
FREE SHIPPINGModel#: TCK0004(48 States)
Takahashi - Temma-2 Jr. GoTo Conversion Kit for EM-200 USD III Mounts
Add GoTo capabilities to your EM-200 USD III (not USD) mount with this 300X Temma II, Jr. Conversion Kit. Includes encoders, electronics, control box, cables and software.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TCK0005(48 States)
Takahashi - 1.3-lb. Counterweight for Teegul Sky Patrol II Mount
Did adding accesories like a big eyepiece, or a camera unbalance your Takahashi Teegul Sky Patrol II Mount? Then you need the Takahashi TCW0006 counterweight add-on. This convenient and genuine Takahashi counterweight measures in at 0.6kg (1.3 lb) and is painted Takahashi green.... Learn MoreModel#: TCW0006
Takahashi - Tube Weight (3.5-lb) for Takahashi TOA-130
Have you recently added larger eyepieces or a finderscope to your Tak TOA-130? Did the addition of camera or CCD equipment unbalance the load?... Learn MoreModel#: TCW0130
Takahashi - 10-lb. Counterweight for EM-10 Mount
In case your EM-10 mount isn't weight balanced, solve your problem with the Takahashi 10Ib countweight! The weight of this counterweight is 10 pounds.... Learn MoreModel#: TCW0200
Takahashi - 11 lb. Counterweight for Takahashi EM-200 Mount
Is your EM-200 Takahashi mount have a weight imbalance, use the 11Ib counterweight-problem solved.... Learn MoreModel#: TCW0230
In Stock$235.00
Takahashi - Dovetail Saddle Plate for Takahashi NJP or EM-500 Mount
Dovetail saddle plate for Takahashi NJP or EM-500 mounts. Accepts any standard dovetail plate.... Learn MoreModel#: TDJ0001
Takahashi - 2" Mirror Diagonal with 1.25" Adapter
Don't rob yourself of the extra light by using a 1.25" diagonal... Get the full effect by going to a full 2" with the Takahashi TDM0200 Mirror Diagonal.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TDM0200(48 States)
Takahashi - 2.8mm ED LE 1.25" Eyepiece
The 2.8mm six element parfocal Barlowed Abbe Orthoscopic eyepiece by Takahashi is excellent for observing planets. It has a 42º apparent field of view and eye relief of 5.8mm.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TEA0028(48 States)
Takahashi - 3.6mm ED LE 1.25 " Eyepiece
This 3.6mm eyepiece has a barrel size of 1.25" and provides 9mm of eye relief.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TEA0036(48 States)
Takahashi - 5mm ED LE 1.25 " Eyepiece
Takahashi eyepieces have their lenses matched and assembled by hand at their plant in Japan.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TEA0050(48 States)
Takahashi - 7.5mm ED LE 1.25 " Eyepiece
The higher magnification eyepieces in the line (2.8, 3.6, 5, and 7.5mm) use ED (extra low dispersion) glass for the best color correction. This is really a bonus when observing planets! All are fully multi-coated for ultimate light transmission.... Learn MoreFREE SHIPPINGModel#: TEA0075(48 States)
In Stock$265.00
Takahashi began manufacturing telescopes in 1967 their 35th year of business. They began and remain in the sand casting business today.
Their first model was TS-65 a 65mm x 900mm achromat. By 1969 they produced their first 65mm triplet semi-apochromat and 100mm f/10 reflector in 1969.
The TS80 built in April of 1972 was the first triplet apochromat Takahashi telescope built. Then in 1973 their first fluorite triplet telescope was used too photograph the total solar eclipse on June 29th of that year in Africa. It was an 80mm x 1200mm and in the same year they produced their first equatorial mount with a polar telescope.
In 1977 Takahashi introduced their second triplet fluorite apochromat the TS-90 a 90mm x 1000mm and the 90S mount and the famous JP mount in 1979. The NJP mount as it is called today is still in production. The JP and NJP mounts can be converted to Takahashi's Temma "go to" system. This is a testament to its timeless design. Then followed by the introduction of famous Sky Patrol portable mount in 1981, this mount was a favorite for eclipse chasers. It features a polar alignment telescope in the R.A. shaft and integral 40mm guide scope. In that year the fluorite Series FC 65, 78, 100, and 125 were introduced. This series remained in production until 1994.
Takahashi developed the camera angle adjuster which is a bearing device that allows the camera or ocular to be rotated 360° without loss of focus. This rotator device is still used today for all Takahashi focuser from the 2" to 4" focusers and all astrographs.
From this time Takahashi used a compression ring ocular holder to provide precise centering of the ocular and optics of the telescope.
In 1983 introduced their Epsilon Series of Hyperbolic flat field astrographs with the 130, 160, 200, 250 and 300. Takahashi was able to perfect the process for grinding hyperbolic mirrors and is doing so today for its current Epsilons and corrected RC astrographs. This was also the year they introduced the prototype FCT-150 fluorite triplet apochromat and the revolutionary EM-2000 mount which used electric clutches and had a direct read out of R.A. and Dec. This mount could be transported to remote sites because it broke down into three parts.
In 1985 the triplet FCT Series included a 65, 76, 100, 125 and 150mm fluorite triplets. The Mewlon Series Dall-Kirkham Cassegrain telescopes were the next series in sizes of 180, 210, 250 and 300mm were developed along with the CN-212, a convertible 212mm classical Cassegrain f/12 and corrected Newtonian convertible telescope.
In 1989 Takahashi introduced their famous TSC-225: a 225mm Schmidt-Cassegrain with innovations such as 10 baffles in the baffle tube and a rear cell fan for cooling of the optics. The 225 used white German optical glass for its corrector plate. Ever the innovator Takahashi produced the carbon fiber Epsilon-250 in 1992 closely followed by the carbon fiber Epsilon-210 hyperbolic astrographs.
Takahashi also makes observatory telescopes which include: 350mm hyperbolic astrographs, 300 and 400mm Cassegrains, 200, 250 and 300mm triplet apochromatic refractors and the large EM-3500 mounts to carry them.
Takahashi's manufacture of refractors, Newtonian reflectors, Cassegrain/Newtonians, classical Cassegrains, hyperbolic astrographs, corrected Baker RC astrographs, mounts and oculars makes it one of the most versatile companies of its type in the world.
The current line of Ortho Apochromatic refractors use a design that is absolutely color free, will include a 110mm, 130mm [currently produced], 150mm [introduced 06/05] and a 180mm. Coming also is a line of Ortho Astrographs.
Their manufacturing facilities are located in Urii, Japan with their headquarters located in the Itabahsi prefecture of Tokyo. The facilities include the main assembly and design facility where the instruments and optics designed, are tested and assembled. The second is the sand casting factory. The third is the facility where the observatory mounts the EM-3500 and EM-2500 are assembled along with the machining shop next door to their warehouse facility. The fourth is the mirror grinding, polishing and testing building.
Takahashi's staff includes: optical, design and mechanical engineers many of whom are amateur astronomers, who have discovered new asteroids one of which was named Urii in honor of the city where the Takahashi manufacturing facilities are located.


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Sources: Florida State Senate, AP
quote: But to be fair. It drives me a little nuts when those that think a hole in the ground, a couple thousand rounds of ammo and an AR-15 are all they need to survive their fantasy end of the world.
quote: People will help other people and form communities.


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HOME NFL Baltimore Ravens Gear Baltimore Ravens Mens Baltimore Ravens Mens Jackets (49 items) Product ID: 1696503
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Cheer on your Baltimore Ravens in the Microsuede Roosevelt jacket by Cutter & Buck! A distinguished Baltimore Ravens fan like yourself needs a jacket that will protect you from the weather and rock your team pride at the same time. This jacket sports a synthetic microsuede shell that resists moisture and staining. With two front pockets, buttoned cuffs and two interior pockets, this jacket provides comfort and convenience. An embroidered Baltimore Ravens logo on the chest lends this stylish jacket a touch of team spirit.
- Material: 100% Polyester
- Interior zippered large chest pocket
- Locker loop
- Embroidered
- Tagless
- Two front pockets
- Adjustable snaps at cuff
- Full Zip
- Machine wash
- Officially licensed
- Brand: Cutter & Buck
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Special event items are produced by manufacturers only after the outcome of a game or event. These are advanced sale items and will ship immediately after they are received in our warehouse.
Manufacturer direct items are shipped directly from the manufacturer. These items are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


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Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Basically, this is Disney's attempt to try something that doesn't involve a big-breasted little girl without a mother and lots of cute, song-singing animals to keep her company.
|06/15/2001 - 15:08
PlayStation and Xbox geeks will probably cream their jeans at the thought of this futureworld. The rest of us get to enjoy a film with all the storytelling complexity of a preschool alphabet reader.
|01/20/2001 - 15:29
|Babe: Pig in the City
What you don't see are the dozensof stunt piglets that were killed or maimed during the action sequences. The scene where Babe bails out of a flaming Air Force One must have burned through ten alone.
|11/25/1998 - 21:06
|Bad Santa
The "look at Santa vomit and cuss" joke is funny the first 30 or 40 times, but by minute 45, the gag smells about as pleasant as a rotting fruitcake.
|11/26/2003 - 21:20
|Bad Teacher
It probably helps if you're high too when checking out "Bad Teacher," as that might help you get through the film's excruciating lack of plot, combined with a cast of characters that might as well have been lifted directly from every single fucking movie about a school ever made, ever.
|07/01/2011 - 08:26
If Lawrence Kasdan were black, this is the kind of film he'd make.
|09/13/2002 - 21:29
Just once, I'd like to see a conspiracy film drum up a real conspiracy, one that doesn't lead to drugs, aliens or aliens on drugs.
|03/28/2003 - 21:35
|Batman Begins
Was the cameraman being chased by a bear? That's how chaotic the action scenes are.
|06/15/2005 - 21:46
|Bed of Roses
"Bed of Roses" is a combination love/horror story that boldly asserts that rich people deserve to be happy too.
|01/26/1996 - 15:16
Personally, I think committing the crime of ripping off any Jean-Claude Van Damme movie should involve jail time.
|08/25/2006 - 15:21
|Before and After
Truth good; cover up bad. In Hollywoodese this translates into: You stupid; story simple.
|02/23/1996 - 15:23
Thank you for the rose colored glasses, the very gay senior citizen, and for reminding me that dogs can keep secrets, too.
|07/20/2011 - 04:20
I briefly considered starting a heroin habit of my own just to get through Bertolucci's pointless exercise in pretentious impenetrability.
|05/21/1999 - 15:31
|Better Than Chocolate
"Better Than Chocolate" also wins an award for most dildos in a movie.
|07/08/1999 - 15:40
|Beyond Borders
Another great thing about this movie is the fact that whenever Angelina travels to one of these refugee sites, she's always wearing a fabulous hat.
|10/24/2003 - 15:46
|Big Trouble in Little China
Can you imagine Barry Diller -- the chairman of 20th Century Fox, for Christ's sake, and ostensibly a guy with years of experience in the film industry -- watching a cut of this film and missing the utterly obvious fact that is wasn't meant to be taken seriously?
|08/18/2000 - 16:11
|Black Swan
Let me tell you the inescapable truth of a movie about ballet: it is as mind-blowingly dull as the real ballet.
|01/09/2011 - 12:27
|Blade 2
You'd swear Frank Oz is going to pop up from behind a curtain and pull his arm out of Kristofferson's withered rear end.
|03/22/2002 - 16:40
|Blade Runner
Slick science fiction masterpiece, you say? How about Freudian nightmare?
|08/18/2000 - 16:43
|Blood and Wine
A variety of things go wrong as a variety ofdysfunctional relationships undermines Alex's quest for happiness, independent wealth and uninterrupted sex with a woman a third of his age.
|02/27/1997 - 19:33


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Zip Front Hooded 3/4 Quilted JacketGet yourself this convenient and practical 3/4 length quilted jacket that comes with a zip front to keep you secure and snug. It's an ideal choice if you need a jacket at all times, as it is designed to serve its purpose in all 3 seasons. The knee length design provides comfort and keeps things warm. A zip-off hood also proves to be quite handy, when the temperature drops way too low. Convenience is offered in the form of two intside pockets and two outside, resulting in plenty of storage space. The lining is made of polyfill and the water resistance capability keeps all the moisture out. Learn More
Regular Price: $130.00
Special Price $65.00
Womens Faux Shearling Go-To JacketWho said you have to put on something drab to stay warm? This Faux Shearling Go-To Jacket makes sure that staying warm does not compromise good looking style. The simple yet striking jacket catches your attention with its versatile features - fully bonded acrylic pile and faux suede with kangaroo pouch pockets. Sure to be your go-to jacket, it also has adjustable roll-up sleeves and a front zip closure as well as leather look piping. The Faux Shearling Go-To Jacket will surely become your favorite go- to jacket in no time! Learn More
Regular Price: $200.00
Special Price $100.00
Three-In-One Puffer CoatThis is an amazing coat! It's three coats in one, and you get to choose how you want to wear it depending on the weather. Outside is a smooth water resistant shell with a front zipper, snap placket, and zip-off hood. Inside is a quilted coat, also with a front zipper. Both pieces have their own side pockets and a warm poly fill lining. The best feature is that one fits perfectly inside the other! For those colder winter days, choose to wear both of them together as shown on the model. 34" back length. Imported. Learn More
Regular Price: $140.00
Special Price $70.00
Quilted Winter ParkaNeed a perfect parka for the winter? Then this quilted winter parka is what you're looking for. The parka comes with a classic quilted silhouette design to make you look like a star. A snap on and off faux fur collar adds flexible style and keeps you warm. The best part is you can choose to keep it on or off, depending on the weather and your needs. You can also create a fitted appearance by tightening the drawstring around the waist area. Other key features include a zipper closure, two snap-close chest pockets, fashion snaps, zippered horizontal pockets, and flap front pockets. Learn More
Regular Price: $150.00
Special Price $75.00
Quilted Hooded JacketWelcome the winter with this hot new lightweight short jacket designed to make you the center of attention. This well-crafted jacket comes with a diamond quilted silhouette that shouts style. A functional hood will keep you warm when things get a little too cold. The jacket also comes with water resistant capability, making it an ideal option for inclement weather. Convenience comes in the form of two inside pockets for extra storage, two zipper side pockets for storing all those important little things and a polyfill lining for added warmth. The jacket is a must-have for the winter months! Learn More
Regular Price: $100.00
Special Price $50.00
Quilted Full Length CoatBe ready to take on the winter chills with this stylish Quilted Full Length Coat. This full length coat has been made available because so many of our customers asked for it! The detachable hood of the coat with a faux coyote trim is certainly an eye-catcher and also keeps you feeling all comfy and cozy. The coat is water resistant, so snow should not be an issue either. You get an extra layer of protection with the warm poly fill. The full-length coat also has two zipper pockets, while the inner cuffs are knitted. Finally something to keep you warm and in style when you are wearing those sexy dresses! Learn More
Regular Price: $170.00
Special Price $85.00
New Zealand Lamb 3 Button BlazerNothing says stylish and polished quite like a blazer with the right cuts and silhouettes and these New Zealand Lambskin Leather Blazers do just that! The blazer uses soft and supple lambskin leather and has three buttons that run down the front to secure its closure. The diamond quilted lining and light polyfill incorporated in these Lambskin blazers make them wearable not just for their style, but for their ability to keep you warm when the weather gets too cold to handle. The two slash pockets in the front add to the stylish detailing. Learn More
Regular Price: $350.00
Special Price $175.00
Look fabulous and stay warm!Why does it always have to be a choice between looking fabulous and staying warm? Why can't you be both at the same time? With this classy jacket you can do just that! Stay much in style without giving up on your comfort and warmth in this double breasted jacket. The big gold colored buttons with black enamel stand out on the black or brown acrylic wool blend fabric while the patch pockets add to its detailing. The rich faux fur collar further makes the jacket a must have for winters. Warm poly fill with designer quality animal print lining completes the look and makes this coat a real winner! Learn More
Regular Price: $160.00
Special Price $80.00
Leather and Stretch Knit Jacket for a fabulous fit!It will be difficult to take your eyes off this absolutely stunning lambskin leather jacket. It combines chic and cool in the same sentence. The fine detailing and the diamond quilted design are the high points of this jacket... besides the the fact that it is made of lambskin leather which screams pure luxury in itself! The stretch sides that are specific to this jacket lets it sit comfortably on you giving you a great fit and a contoured look. Other detailing includes a stretch knitted matching collar and a poly fill quilted lining for added warmth. Learn More
Regular Price: $320.00
Special Price $160.00
Lambskin Leather Scuba JacketThis stylish lambskin leather jacket is both smart and sexy. Its smooth and buttery soft lambskin makes it an instant favorite and it happens to be one of our most popular styles. With this jacket in your wardrobe, you will look forward to the dipping winter temperatures. Other detailing includes a full front zip, two bottom slash pockets to keep your hands snug and warm, and princess seaming. The 26" jacket is fully lined with a poly quilted lining to keep you warm and comfortable throughout the winter. Learn More
Regular Price: $340.00
Special Price $170.00


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Closed Captioned
Sew beautiful quilts that come together with ease, using precuts, yardage or fabrics from your stash. Best-selling author Kimberly Einmo uses templates and rulers to make cutting, piecing, appliqué and machine quilting easy and fun! Make one of five included patterns, or use what you learn to create your own designs. Kimberly will share her techniques for invisible and contrasting thread machine appliqué. Learn how to create flying geese units, stars, checkerboards and more. Gain the confidence to combine fabrics, experiment with color and use your leftovers.
Meet your instructor Kimberly Einmo and learn about the importance of creating a creative workspace.
Kimberly leads an in-depth discussion on the supplies you will need -- threads, rotary cutters, rulers, marking pens and more.
Kimberly walks you through your first quilt, Jacob's Ladder, as you learn to make perfect points, use half-square triangles and put the block together.
See how quickly Kimberly's Chain Saw quilt comes together using a jelly roll and a layer cake.
Put the finishing touches on your Chain Saw quilt as Kimberly demonstrates how to add sashing, quilting and the binding.
Use jelly roll strips --�or fabric strips cut from your stash -- to make Kimberly's Lonestar Strip Magic quilt.
Assemble your points into blocks and then arrange your blocks to create your quilt top. Kimberly then demonstrates a variety of quilting options.
Make stunning cathedral window blocks using precut charm squares.
Add appliqu�d details using decorative stitching and learn how to assemble your quilt top. Kimberly demonstrates how to chain stitch to keep everything in order.
Kimberly shares her clever trick for creating a stunning Flying Geese quilt that looks like it's sewn on point but isn't!
"You are a wonderful teacher, Kimberly! You explain and demo every step so well and give options; I like that. ... You've got me re-evaluating several of my UFO's to finish with the methods you taught. Many thanks! I'll be visiting this class over and over again."
- AllisonBayerTX


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Cedars-Sinai offers a full range of conditions and treatments to promote the best health possible for women. To learn more about what we offer, click on the topics that interest you.
Maternal Fetal Medicine
- High Risk Pregnancy
- Diabetes in Pregnancy
- Infections in Pregnancy
- Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS)
- Amniocentesis
- Fetal Ultrasound
- Stress and Birth Outcomes
Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgery
Reproductive Endocrinology
- Urinary Incontinence
- Prolapse
- Overactive Bladder


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ANIMART Launches Dairysan™ Product Line
ANIMART Launches Dairysan™ Product Line
ANIMART, Inc. announces the recent launch of their Dairysan™ dairy sanitation product line. ANIMART's Dairysan™ product line includes teat dips, bactericides and sanitizers, as well as CIP, manual, and laundry detergents and cleaners. Chuck Hutchens, Milk Quality Manager at ANIMART, will oversee the Dairysan line in addition to ANIMART's Milk Quality Assessment services.
The introduction of a dairy sanitation product line is to further provide solutions to dairy producers by providing the highest quality products at an economical level to maximize profitability and increase milk quality.
"ANIMART's Dairysan™ line uses leading edge technologies to supply dairy producers with economical, effective and environmentally safe sanitation products," stated Dan Ellsworth, ANIMART President. "ANIMART is committed to assisting dairy producers in achieving milk quality goals to maximize the profitability of their dairy business."
ANIMART's Dairysan™ line is environmentally safe with low/no phosphorus and NPE-free products to prevent soil loading and reduce negative environmental effects. ANIMART also provides iodine alternative solutions to dairy producers as a more economic teat dip without sacrificing effectiveness. For more information or to schedule a wash-up analysis, call Chuck Hutchens, Milk Quality Manager, at 920.342.3067 or visit www.aninmart.com/dairysan.
Established in 1982 and headquartered in Beaver Dam, Wis., ANIMART, Inc. provides animal health products and veterinary supplies to dairy and livestock producers. ANIMART is committed to offering a full-line of products supported by outstanding service. For more information, visit www.animart.com.


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For some time now, many Christians have felt as if their faith was on the defensive. Adherents to some other faiths mock ours. A few claim their differing beliefs justify murdering Christians.
Even here in the United States, where the vast majority of people are Christians, the faith has been under assault in some ways. Christians are told that displaying our own beliefs is viewed in some manner as wrong.
But any defensiveness Christians feel comes to an end tonight. It is Christmas Eve, and tomorrow brings the joyous celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.
Special Christmas Eve church services will be held throughout Columbiana County tonight, as the faithful prepare our hearts for the day to come.
Tonight, our preparations for Christmas wind down to a close. On this most special of all evenings in the year, peace and calm wrap Christians in a warm embrace.
The words of beloved old hymns come to mind, whether we are able to hear them from carolers or church choirs - or only in our minds.
"Joy to the world - the Lord has come ..."
"Oh come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant ..."
"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed ..."
"Oh little star of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie ..."
"Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing o'er the plains ..."
"Hark! The herald angels sing, 'Glory to the newborn king' ..."
"It came upon the midnight clear, that glorious song of old ..."
"The first Noel, the angels did sing, was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay ..."
"What child is this, who laid to rest, on Mary's lap is sleeping ..."
In stages for some, quickly for others, the confidence of Christianity among believers reaches a peak tonight. The criticisms and skepticism of others matter not. It is Christmas Eve. On the morrow those of the faith - more numerous, incidentally, than adherents of any other religion in the world - will revel in our celebration of the most glorious birth in history.
Tonight, there is no room for doubt. There is only the beauty of our faith.
"Silent Night, holy night
"All is calm, all is bright
"Round yon virgin, mother and child
"Holy infant so tender and mild
"Sleep in heavenly peace.
"Sleep in heavenly peace ..."
Merry Christmas!


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on February 1, 2013 - 9:53 PM
A Selkirk Street man identified by Buffalo police as a registered sex offender in Connecticut has been charged with possession of obscene sexual performances after he was reportedly caught with child pornography on his laptop computer.
Daniel Cay, 25, was taken into custody at 7:15 p.m. Thursday. According to police documents, Cay has not registered with New York State authorities as a convicted sex offender and allegedly is in violation of his status as a registered sex offender in Connecticut.


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on April 16, 2013 - 11:29 PM
, updated April 17, 2013 at 12:22 AM
Buffalo Bills General Manager Buddy Nix said Tuesday there is a quarterback worthy of being taken with the eighth overall pick in the NFL Draft.
"You know, I think there is," Nix said Tuesday at the team's annual pre-draft news conference. "And also I've said from Day One this quarterback class is better than everybody thinks it is. It's better than the publicity they get. By that I mean there's about five or six of those guys, maybe seven, that do a lot of things good and do 'em good enough to win."
Nix didn't guarantee the Bills would take a quarterback with the eighth overall pick. But he did nothing to quell the notion that the Bills are going to pick their "quarterback of the future" at some point early in the league's annual selection meeting, which starts on April 24.
None of the quarterbacks in this year's draft are as highly rated as the top two in last year's draft – Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III. Most draft analysts rate last year's third QB, Ryan Tannehill, over this year's candidates, as well.
Nevertheless, Nix said: "I said this from the start, that two or three of these guys will be franchise quarterbacks. I believe that."
Many draft analysts rate West Virginia's Geno Smith No. 1 among quarterbacks in this year's draft. The obvious target for Buffalo could be Syracuse's Ryan Nassib, who played the last four seasons for new Bills coach Doug Marrone.
"Everybody assumes just because we have Coach Marrone that he became in the forefront," said Doug Majeski, Bills coordinator of college scouting, of Nassib. "He was a good player as we go through our scouting process from beginning of his senior year all the way through. So he was a guy that we were aware of. We went to see him a couple times play just because it's so easy for us to get to Syracuse and to see him play live."
Here were some other highlights from the 45-minute session, keeping in mind that NFL executives are especially guarded about their intentions leading up to the draft:
• Nix didn't seem to gush about Florida State quarterback E.J. Manuel: "I've seen him make NFL throws. He made them at Florida State. He's maybe a little inconsistent with it, but he's got plenty of arm and great athletic ability. It's a matter of whether or not you can get him consistent in that part of it."
• The Bills have six picks, having traded away their seventh-rounder, and Nix didn't sound like a man eager to trade up: "I hate giving up draft picks. I hope in some way we get that seventh back."
• Nix on safety Jairus Byrd, whose rights have been retained with a franchise tag: "There has been some contact and we're making an effort to try to get a long-term deal done with Jairus. … There's nothing that we can do except try to get a contract done. If it doesn't work, then the ball is in his court. He comes basically when he gets ready."
Nix said Byrd was the only player not in attendance for the Bills' three-day voluntary minicamp, which started Tuesday.
• On the fact Tennessee receiver Cordarrelle Patterson, a top-15 rated talent, entered the draft after just one big year of production: "It scares you. You have to think those guys might not help you out immediately if that's who you take. Those guys are raw. You're going to have to groom them and be patient with them."
• Nix said wide receiver, safety and tight end are among the positions that are especially deep in the middle rounds.
"There are more safeties, good safeties available this year in the draft than I've seen in 10 years," Nix said.
• On the need for a guard in the wake of the loss of Andy Levitre in free agency:
"Our roster in house is better than I think we get credit for, especially offensive line. We're pretty deep there. We've got six guards, and we think a couple of them can play. Now having said all that before you write that we're not going to take a guard at No. 8, it's hard to pass up two players like the old boy at Alabama and the kid at North Carolina. Both of those are great players, so you have to give that a lot of thought when they come up."
Alabama's Chance Warmack is the top-rated guard in the draft. North Carolina's Jonathan Cooper is next. The Bills have one incumbent starter at guard in Kraig Urbik.
Among the other guards on the roster are: Colin Brown, a fifth-round pick of the Chiefs in 2009; Keith Williams, a former sixth-round pick of Pittsburgh in 2011; and David Snow, undrafted out of Texas last year.
email: firstname.lastname@example.com


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Serves 6 |
Prep Time 20 minutes |
Cook Time 12 minutes
8 Eden Whole Shiitake Mushrooms, soaked 20 minutes in 1 cup hot water
1 Tbsp Eden Toasted Sesame Oil
1 1/2 pounds green string beans, stems removed, cut into 2 inch lengths
1 clove garlic, minced
1 Tbsp fresh ginger root, peeled and finely minced
1/2 cup water, including reserved shiitake soaking water
2 tsp Eden Shoyu Soy Sauce
2 tsp Eden Kuzu Root Starch, dissolved in 1 Tbsp. cold water
1 Tbsp lemon juice, freshly squeezed
1/4 cup slivered organic almondsor chopped pecans
Remove the stems from the shiitake and discard. Reserve the soaking liquid. Slice the caps. Heat oil in a large skillet. Sauté garlic and shiitake for 1 minute. Add beans, ginger and almonds. Sauté 1 to 2 minutes. Add water, soaking water and shoyu. Cover and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes until the beans are tender. Remove lid. Slowly add the kuzu to the skillet, stirring constantly to prevent lumping. Squeeze lemon juice over and serve.
American, Eastern, Good/High Fiber, Japanese Food, Low Sodium, Macrobiotic, No Sweetener Added, Oils, Side Dish, Vegan


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We have written before about the "unprecedented window of opportunity" for wealthy families to save tax as a result of CRA's historically low 1% rate on prescribed rate loans. See our blog post A window of tax saving opportunity…for how long? The prescribed rate dictates the minimum interest that must be charged on income-splitting loans to spouses and family trusts. A popular, low-risk form of tax planning with many of our clients.
Truth be told, when we wrote that blog piece back in 2010 we didn't expect the 1% rate would still be in effect in 2013. And from what we hear, it won't be much longer. [read more >>]


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'Cameros ' | Textured Italian Leather Belt by BOSS
Style No. 50266985
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This belt by BOSS is crafted from 100% Italian leather with a textured woven finish for a unique look. A pin buckle with a shiny gunmetal finish and a square end complete this look.
- Textured woven Italian calf leather
- Zinc square pin buckle with shiny gunmetal finish and engraved logo detail
- Square end
- Width: 3.5 cm (1.3 in.)
- Handcrafted in Italy


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New York BB
Free pick-up from Pescara Airport with a minimum 5 night stay. Independent building in the heart of the city, near the beach and all the means of transportation. New York B&B is part of 'Pescara Accommodation' run by Adriana & Domenico, professionals in the field of B&B accommodation. The B&B is situated in a quite neighborhood. All rooms have private toilets, shower, hairdryer, TV, Wifi available. Beach Service is included in the price with a minimum of 3 night stay.
Upon request: short tours to wine galleries, the parks and Rome. Domenico has grown up in New York and he is mother tongue, he speaks French as well. Pescara is one of the few Italian cities whose city center is right on the beach (the Adriatic). The Abruzzo Region has 3 National Parks, beautiful mountains: Gran Sasso, Majella which are just 30 minutes away from the beach.
Languages Spoken: English, French, Spanish.
It is located 200metres from the railway station and the beach. Just 4 kms from the airport.
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Payment: Cash only, on arrival.
Please advise arrival time.
Availability & RatesTo view availability and prices please select dates and click 'Update Dates'
B&B Facilities & Policies
- Air Conditioning
- Airport Transfers
- Bicycle hire
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- Free Breakfast
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From the Airport take Bus 38 to Corso Umberto.
By train - Pescara Centrale -
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By car A14 exit Pescara Sud take Asse Attrezzato to Pescara Centro.
Located Near


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View our feature on Marjorie Liu's Darkness Calls.Demon hunter Maxine Kiss, inked with living tattoos, is on a mission to rescue the man she loves from a bloodthirsty army. To save him, Maxine has only one choice: to lose control—and release her own powers of darkness.
Watch a video
Demon hunter Maxine Kiss is from a long line of women tasked with protecting the Earth from the demons breaking out from behind the prison veils. By day, her tattoos are her armor. By night, they unwind from her body to take on forms of their own: demons of the flesh, turned into flesh.
Passed down from mother to daughter, only the demons decide when the time is right to leave a host. When that happens, when the mother loses their protection, she is murdered by those she hunts. Usually in front of her daughter. Fathers are not talked about, ever. Fathers are never acknowledged. There is no family but mother and daughter—and the demons who protect them.
Maxine changes everything, in more ways that one. She's fallen in love with a former priest whose secrets are almost as terrible as her own. Grant can alter the nature of a human—or demonic—soul with nothing but his voice, and he's been using that gift to help others, to make the world a better place. Maxine and Grant are determined not to lose each other, no matter what—no matter who comes for them. But there's a lot of uncertainty in their lives, and risk.
One day Maxine will have a daughter. Grant hopes—and believes—that he will be the father. And this is a letter to that unborn child, a way for him to be with his little girl. Just in case the worst happens. Just in case he never gets to meet her. He wants her to know she's loved.
For more about the series, check out Marjorie's website at www.marjoriemliu.com
* * *
To my darling daughter,
You do not know me. Maybe you never will. You do not exist yet, but you are coming. You are part of me already.
I am going to be your father.
Maybe that is presumptuous of me, but in this I can be bold. I have no alternative left but certainty. I love your mother. I will always love her. Not with blind eyes, but with truth.
Because I can see her soul.
A long story, another letter. Maybe you will have the same gift. Maybe it would be better if you did not. It can be a burden, knowing the truth about people. Always seeing the truth, and the darkness.
You learn about yourself when you see the darkness. You learn what you can tolerate and what you can forgive, and what you cannot. You learn how dark your own heart is when you see the darkness in others, and you learn how strong your light can be, when confronted with the endlessness of human suffering. Everyone, baby, feels alone. Everyone aches for kindness.
* * *
Your mother is kind, though she would deny it. She would be embarrassed. But she is kind, and against the odds, sweet—and she is filled with that rarest form of compassion, a sympathy for the suffering of others demonstrated only by saints, and the fearless.
Don't mistake me : Your mother is not fearless. But she is brave. Never doubt it. Your mother cannot walk away. You understand, baby? Your mother, when she sees something wrong, cannot walk away. No matter what. No matter who stands in her path, no matter how much she might want to. Your mother's heart is relentless.
So let me tell you about your mother, because no one else will, certainly not her. She will never say these things out loud. Not because she doesn't love you—because she will love you, she does love you, she will fight for you and die for you, and be your friend past death. But she will not tell you about herself—her real self—because she will never believe that there is anything worth telling. Because she does not see herself as I see her. Your mother is too close to her own life, as we all are too close to ourselves, but her burden is unique—and she is blinded by it, and the hard choices she has had to make.
Your mother saved my life. She might tell you that, I suppose. She saved me from being murdered, but that's a story for another time. What I want to tell you is that she saved me, in more ways than one.
* * *
I was so alone.
More alone than I realized. A man like me, a woman like your mother, must wear masks, tell lies. As will you.
But you cannot be with someone, hoping for love, and live that lie. Truth may not bind two hearts, baby, but it is one of the legs that love stands upon. Especially for people like us, where too much is at stake.
You don't need to be told what's at stake. You'll know by the time you read this letter. We'll have taught you, prepared you—sheltered you as best we can, when we can, for as long as we can. And maybe, by that time, things will have changed. Perhaps the stakes won't be as high. Possibly, hopefully.
But no matter where you find yourself, make this a letter to your life: an ode, a reminder. Because there will be bad moments, times when you lose your mind, your sense of self to the world, to this existence beyond your skin. You will never suffer the raging quiet, but will always move inside your mind, down those labyrinths; and you will imagine yourself lost, sometimes.
Do not be lost. No matter what pressures come to bear upon you, they are not the end of you, and they are nothing in time. Even you are nothing in time, in the scope of time, but a footprint, a soul print, an opportunity given, for a moment, to be a burning light.
* * *
Your mother burns with light—as will you. Never stop. A command, you know, that cannot be easily dictated—or, as the recipient of such orders, controlled. You cannot control the world around you, not as you wish. Nor can you entirely control yourself —you, who are buried in mystery.
But you can be the mystery. You can be the riddle and the heart, and dwell in possibility. You can gaze with wonder upon the world, this terrible and lovely world, and love each moment, each breath, and fight to bring such love unto others. You can be the warrior and the poet, searching for the eternal in the labyrinth of your mind, and you will be the flame. You will burn. You will never stop burning.
Live in service to the heart. Be free. Be kind. Do not be afraid.
You are loved.
You are loved.
You are loved.
Your adoring father


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Another group is giving Penn State's Bill O'Brien consideration for national college football coach of the year.
The Maxwell Football Club on Wednesday joined the Football Writers Association of America and Liberty Mutual in making O'Brien a finalist for its award. O'Brien also is on the watch list for the Bear Bryant National Coach of the Year Award.
Notre Dame's Brian Kelly and Kansas State's Bill Snyder are the Maxwell Club's other two finalists.
O'Brien was named Big Ten coach of the year by both the media and conference coaches after leading the Nittany Lions to an 8-4 record in his first year at the helm in spite of harsh NCAA sanctions that led several of the top players in the program to transfer just weeks before the first game. In their season finale, the Lions beat eventual conference champion Wisconsin in overtime.
The Maxwell Club will announce its coach of the year on Dec. 19. The club announced earlier this week that is was giving its 2012 Thomas Brookshier Spirit Award to the Nittany Lions senior class in recognition of their commitment, leadership and effort this season.
- Philip Cmor


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Collectible tin sign features the Protected by Smith & Wesson logo. Perfect for decorating the den or recreation room. Also makes a great gift!
Size: 12-1/2" Wide X 16" High
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I love any and all moments of silence in this house of three boys.
- multi-colored (uncooked) veggie pasta down the basement stairs
- maple syrup on the kitchen floor and hands/face/pants
- removing games and/or shutting off daddy's Xbox repeatedly
- mommy's makeup in the garbage
- mommy's knicknacks in the garbage
- who-knows-what-else ended up in the garbage, guess we'll see what turns up missing later this week
Ah, the list could go on... thankfully this all did not happen in one day. Just one weekend.
We want that little toddler to be quiet and entertain himself, but then reality hits you and you wonder just what is keeping him so quietly occupied all this time?


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Read Publications about the Environment
Browse the library to find carbon neutral digital publications that other YUDUfree users have published about the environment. Add them to your library and share them with friends and colleagues.
environment Publications
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Thousands of titles on the environment are stored in the YUDUfree library. Here you can browse for items on the environment, view them page by page, or search inside for specific topics. You can also add comments and bookmarks, and choose titles to include in your own library and share with friends. Climate change, wildlife, population, migration, marine, pollution, recycling, waste disposal, urbanisation and deforestation are just some of the subjects covered. Other areas include new technologies, green energy and more sustainable lifestyles. Many YUDUfree publications are packed with pictures too, bringing to life the environment for you.


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The 4 Biggest Missed Opportunities in Fiction
#2. Superman Returns
I say Superman Returns, though this also applies to Superman III. Basically it refers to any third Superman movie (Bryan Singer treats Superman Returns as a sequel, of sorts, to Superman II).
The original Superman was a great, classic origin story. We got to watch an alien boy grow into a man and accept his rightful place as Earth's protector.
Superman II tells a good follow-up story that feels like a natural evolution of the first one. Once the thrill of accepting the responsibility of being Earth's protector is gone, and the Superman honeymoon period is over, Superman has a crisis of faith and realizes that maybe he doesn't want to be a superhero anymore. He wants to live a normal life, so he abandons his powers, abdicates his responsibilities and tries to move on and live happily ever after with Lois. Until, of course, he realizes that he can't give up. He needs to save the world, so he regains his powers and fulfills his destiny.
"How about 'punch,' asshole!"
Then Superman III happened, and it sucked in some very profound ways (one of the characters is a "psychic nutritionist"). It's just another basic Superman story, except worse. There's a high school reunion involved. Someone is trying to monopolize the world's coffee crop. In my memory, Superman fights a computer at some point, but that can't be right.
Superman Returns, similarly, is another straightforward Superman movie. Superman shows up and does a bunch of Superman stuff until all of the bad guys are gone. Just like we've seen him do before.
But What if Instead ...
Most superhero trilogies follow the same structure as the first two Superman movies (movie #1 is an origin story that ends with the hero accepting his role as a hero, movie #2 is an expansion on that where the hero questions himself and temporarily quits before realizing that he must keep fighting), and then they all sort of fall to shit around the third movie.
Why hasn't there been a Godfather of superhero movies?
Why hasn't someone made what, to me, is the logical extension of those first two movies: Hero grows resentful of the ungrateful people he's sworn to protect and becomes the villain.
That's what I want to see. The origin, the acceptance of power and then the corruption that absolute power inevitably leads to.
Imagine a Superman movie where Superman is tired of protecting the people who have absolutely nothing to offer him. These stupid people, running around and constantly getting into trouble -- what could they possibly do for Superman? They're just accident-prone little children, and when you're the parent of a child, your house is not a democracy; it's a dictatorship. Superman III (or Superman Returns) should be Superman coming out and saying, "Look, I want to keep you safe, but because you're so bad at staying safe, I have a new rule: Do whatever the hell Superman says."
It would work. Superman is all-powerful, so all he'd need to do to protect everyone is rule them with an iron super-fist. No one would break Superman's laws or else he'd fry them with laser vision. America would be full of completely safe slaves.
How much would you pay to see a Superman movie that was all about Superman's corrupt abuse of power, and the only one who could bring him down and save the world is the brilliant and technologically creative Lex Luthor (the son of a bitch always has kryptonite)? The people turn to Luthor to protect them from Superman? I would pay all of the money to see that trilogy.
More like a thrillogy. Or a trilorgy. SOMEONE MAKE THIS MOVIE.
#1. The Star Wars Prequels
Twice a year, fellow Cracked employee Cody Johnston and I make it a point to drink a whole lot and talk about Star Wars. It's a fun and important tradition, usually done on our birthdays. Sometimes we talk about how great Star Wars is, but mostly we talk about how great the prequels could have been. It might be my favorite thing to do.
Let's get something straight before we move on: A lot of people talk about very obvious, superficial ways in which the Star Wars sequels could have been saved. Get rid of Jar Jar. Make it less about the Trade Federation and a powerful Sith Lord's rise to power under the guise of a corrupt bureaucrat and more about other things that aren't that. Hire someone who knows how to handle George Lucas when he gets all ... George Lucasy. And they're right, but fixing a movie shouldn't just be about getting rid of the shitty stuff.
Some people think that the prequels never should have been made at all, and that the original trilogy, while not perfect, is perfect enough in our rose-tinted imaginations that any additions to the franchise not only won't live up to the originals but will actually undermine the originals and highlight all of their flaws. Any Star Wars fan who is vocal about their hatred of the prequels based on the woodenness of the acting, the awfulness of the dialogue and the goofiness of some of the characters is forced to confront the fact that all three of those flaws were also very present in the original trilogy.
They think the prequels shouldn't have been made because no matter how good they are, they can only taint our memory of the originals. But I know the prequels should have been made, because I've talked about them with Cody.
But What if Instead ...
For starters, there never should have been any impetus to bring absolutely every plot point or character in Star Wars full circle. No one needs to know where C-3PO came from, especially when his back story (he was built!) isn't all that exciting. No one needs to know where Boba Fett came from, especially when his back story (he was cloned!) isn't all that exciting and doesn't help you understand the character any better. Just as one broad, sweeping decree: Not every character ever brought up in Star Wars needs to be represented in the prequels. No one needs to see a few seconds of Chewie and a few seconds of Jabba, because no one has any reason to wonder, going into the prequels, "Hey, what do you suppose Jabba's doing during this whole pod-racing adventure?" Don't force answers to questions we have no reason to ask.
Here is the only question you should be answering in a Star Wars prequel:
How did Anakin become Darth Vader?
George Lucas went wrong when he made the prequels an origin story for everything, when he should have made an origin story for Vader. That is an intriguing story worth exploring.
With that in mind, imagine, if you will, a Star Wars trilogy that was all about the close friendship and eventual ruin of two great friends, Anakin and Obi-Wan. Even though Liam Neeson was the best part of Phantom Menace, I don't need Qui-Gon. I don't want to see Anakin as an annoying little boy who can't act, and I don't want to see him as smart-mouthed teen who makes Obi-Wan look like a cranky, overprotective mother. I want to see two 20-something badass wizard-knights trolling the galaxy and ensuring order.
There's a scene in Revenge of the Sith when Obi-Wan and Anakin are laser-sword-fighting on the hell-planet when Obi-Wan, clearly feeling hurt and betrayed, yells out, "You were supposed to be the chosen one!" And we, as the audience, feel nothing. The ultimate divorce between Obi-Wan and Anakin carried no emotional weight. The only evidence of their friendship was when Anakin said something along the lines of "You know, Obi-Wan, you've always been a good friend to me," at some point in Episode III, about 30 minutes before they fight each other. That's the only glimpse of friendship we get. When a character flat out tells the audience, "No, we're very good friends, trust me."
"Character development, character development, exposition, tragic flaw, character development."
But let's say that the first two movies were devoted solely to Obi-Wan and Anakin training and being Jedi warriors, kicking ass and being best friends. They're Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, in space. A friendship that you believed as strongly as you believed that Luke, Leia and Han would be forever bound to each other. Not only would movies about two Jedi warriors be objectively more entertaining than movies about trade federations, galactic senates and stuffy, over-bearing Jedi councils, but it would make the eventual Obi-Wan and Anakin betrayal so much more powerful. We already knew going into the prequels that Anakin was going to turn into Vader, so making him a whiny, aggressive, cocky little shit does nothing for the character. When Obi-Wan slices up Anakin on the hell-planet, we shouldn't be saying "Finally," we should be heartbroken that a character that we'd spent two movies knowing and loving had to chop up his best friend, another character that we'd spent two movies knowing and loving. The only way that Anakin's transformation into Vader can make any kind of impact is if his fall from grace is an actual fall, and not a stumble.
I want to like Anakin. Luke was a whiner, but you still liked him. Anakin was just a dick, and you couldn't wait for him to get his ass laser-chopped. You could make a Star Wars movie that was, essentially, a buddy cop movie set in space with an enormous budget, setting up Anakin as the space-Riggs to Obi-Wan's space-Murtaugh.
Once the friendship is established, the betrayal that leads to Anakin's eventual turn to the dark side a) will have more of an impact and b) could be about almost anything. Cody's pitch is that Anakin and Padme were a loving married couple, but Obi-Wan was always secretly in love with her and, eventually, acted on that love. Your wife cheats on you with your absolute best friend and mentor; that sounds to me like a pretty good reason to flip out and kill all of the Jedi. Certainly a better reason than whatever they did in the movie (Padme died in a dream? Obi-Wan wouldn't let Anakin be a Jedi Master? Something something, Sand People? I honestly can't remember what Anakin was so mad about).
"Yoda thinks I'm too unstable to be a Master so I am going to SLAUGHTER JEDI CHILDREN."
It would also explain why Obi-Wan feels such a strong responsibility to hang out and watch over Luke. If it hadn't been for Obi-Wan's affair with Padme, Anakin never would have flipped out and Luke would have had a father growing up who wasn't Darth Vader.
So that's our Star Wars prequels. Two best friends patrol the galaxy until one breaks the other's heart so profoundly that he dedicates his life to wiping all Jedi out of the galaxy. I think that's slightly better than the tricky nuances of trade negotiations and asthmatic Sith lords, but hey, that's just me.
Daniel O'Brien is Cracked.com's Senior Writer (ladies), and this column is dedicated to Kiera McCourt (Ms. McCourt).
For more movies given the Dan O'Brien treatment, check out If 'Twilight' Was About Dragons (And Contained More Fisting) and My Brief Time as a Student at Hogwarts.