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6 Supposedly Fun Activities Nobody Actually Enjoys
#3. Working Outdoors
This was a last-second addition to the list, and it's all because I'm as guilty as anyone else of mistakenly believing that working outdoors is an activity I will someday learn to enjoy. In fact, I wrote the first half of this column while sitting on the deck of my apartment. And why? Because today was the first day of actual nice weather I've seen in months. So, for a couple of hours, I pretended that sitting outdoors was conducive to staring at a computer screen. For the record, this is what that computer screen looked like the entire time:
If the people at Asus are reading this, feel free to send me a laptop I don't hate. I'm only using this one because I don't care if it melts in the sun.
Those barely visible black lines are the early outline of this column. You may notice that, compared to the intense reflection of me and my surroundings, they are nearly impossible to see. Nevertheless, I stuck with it for two hours. By the time I finally gave up, I had put on a jacket because the wind was getting unruly and a baseball hat because my barren scalp tends to burst into flames when exposed to sunlight for extended periods of time. Fun!
Now, I can certainly understand why a person working a manual labor gig would prefer to be outdoors on a day like this. But for people who work on computers, which is a percentage that only writers far less lazy than myself should be expected to research and report to you, taking the show on the road and working outdoors seems like a dream come true. As a person who totally has the freedom to do that, let me assure you, it's not. I've already mentioned the near impossibility of seeing a computer screen in those conditions, but the reasons to shy away from hauling your laptop outdoors don't end there.
For one thing, the outdoors are riddled with bugs, which, ideally, your office is not. Nothing breaks the creative thought process like having a wasp land on your keyboard. That's a great way to go from zero to panic in under two seconds.
They also make angry comments.
And if you're one of those really ambitious people who thinks packing up all of your electronics and heading to a park or beach to get some work done is a good idea, I have two words you need to consider: bathroom break. You're going to have to take one at some point. Do you pack up all of your stuff and haul it with you to the restroom, or do you leave it there and hope that everyone in your vicinity works on the honor system and won't steal your shit while you shit? The answer, of course, is neither, because both options suck. Instead, get your work done indoors and then use your time outside as it's meant to be used. Specifically, use it to enjoy the fact that you're not working.
#2. Visiting National Monuments
Family vacation. Who doesn't look forward to that every year? The kids are out of school, the parents are off work and everyone is hopping into the car and going to do something rad. It's important to choose your family vacation destinations wisely. If you have children, go to an amusement park. If you have no children, sit on as many patios as you can while power drinking. But under no circumstances, ever, should you blow a family vacation on visiting a national monument.
I certainly understand the allure of driving hundreds or even thousands of miles to see the Grand Canyon in person. Actually, I'm just joking, I don't get the appeal at all. I've never seen it, but I expect it looks a lot like this ...
... except bigger, hotter and dirtier. Those adjectives are all fine and well if you're talking about a porn sequel, but when you're referring to something you can just as easily look at in pictures, it's far less titillating.
Another good example of this is Mount Rushmore. You probably know it from pictures, where it looks like this ...
But as someone who has seen it, I can vouch for the fact that, in person, it looks a lot more like this ...
Right, those are the exact same picture, because that's exactly what Mount Rushmore looks like in person. What is it that you think you're going to do when your Wally World-like trek to see four presidents' faces carved into the side of a huge rock comes to fruition? It's not like you can climb up there and take a picture of you pretending to put your dick in Lincoln's nose or anything. You're just going to stand there, take a few pictures that will look like the epitome of shittiness when compared to stuff you could just download from the Internet and then spend the rest of your vacation bored to tears because western South Dakota is a desolate hellhole with nothing even sort of fun to do. And it's going to be the exact same story at any of the other remote tourist destinations people flock to every year.
To its credit, though, Mount Rushmore does have fireworks every Fourth of July. Ha! Just joking. They stopped doing that years ago. But it doesn't matter, because the lamest of all lame outdoor activities is ...
#1. Fireworks
There is a very limited window of time when seeing a fireworks display is even remotely interesting. That window spans approximately from the moment you first learn that fireworks are a real thing to the moment you've finally finished watching your first fireworks display. Beyond that, you're literally just watching the same thing over and over and somehow expecting to be entertained by it each time. But fireworks aren't Arrested Development. There aren't going to be extra layers of jokes and interesting shit worked into the minute details that you missed the first time. They're just colors in the sky.
I have it on good authority that there hasn't been a new type of firework developed since the early 1980s. What authority is that? My own eyes, because that's when I saw my first fireworks display, and every one has been the same bullshit since then. And I'm just talking about seeing a fireworks display in person. Some people actually go so far as to watch that nonsense on television. Seriously, you could just stare at the screensaver on your computer if you're that easily entertained. There's just as much variety to be found there.
"Oh, but wait until the finale, that's when it gets good!" No, it doesn't. It's just the same thing the townsfolk have been "oohing" and "aahing" about for the past 30 minutes, except now it's happening in a slightly more rapid succession. Saying the finale makes a fireworks display somehow worth the boredom that leads up to it is like implying that filling out paperwork at the doctor's office would be more exciting if they just gave you a bigger stack of forms and less time to complete them. That's not adding fun, it's increasing the obnoxiousness.
Nevertheless, all the across the country, local governments will be shelling out anywhere from $5,000 all the way up to $6,000,000 to set off a bunch of pretty explosions in the sky.
Good thing the economy is so strong. Otherwise, that would just seem foolish.
Adam hosts a podcast called Unpopular Opinion that you should check out right here. You should also be his friend on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.
Check out more from Adam in The 7 Most Terrifying Corporate Mascots of All-Time and The 5 Most Ill-Advised Dating Sites on the Web.


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Top Definition
a large size male, over 6ft and weighs over 240lbs
that's a bigcountry nigga!, but I'll still kick his ass.
di grimey klient 28 giugno 2007
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
un-controlable inside scoring machine
di theman 27 marzo 2003
A larger then average male who is sloppy and breaks everything.
Big Country came to the party last night. Now I have 2 lamps and a window to replace.
di EHT 19 giugno 2011
A girl that sleeps around with every man in her county over 6 feet tall and ways over 200 lbs.
Big country just got in and she already walking out with 2 men
di dardn22 03 giugno 2015
Someone who is very patriotic about his country..
"Hey there's Big Country Chris, look at his flag magnets on his car there's like 25 of them. he's so patriotic."
di Loco Essay 27 ottobre 2005

subset: commoncrawl


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MCCLURE - The day Natasha Aitkin's son was born, she believed he would be a pastor.
Leland James Aitkins, the second son born to Natasha and Shawn Aitkins, of McClure, arrived on Sept. 1, 2009.
Leland, however, had a short time on earth. He died as the result of an accident on March 15 at 2 1/2 years old.
Article Photos
Submitted photo
Natasha Aitkins holds up an 'L' to symbolize 2-year-old son, Leland, who died in an accident on March 15. Leland's picture was printed on a notebook for brother, Aiden, to remember him by.
Natasha and Shawn believe the story of Leland's life and his journey to heaven are like a pastor's service to the people.
Since the spring, the couple has spoken in 15 churches locally, sharing their story of what happened to Leland and how life can end "in the blink of an eye," Natasha said, referring to scripture in I Corinthians 15:52 in which it is explained that Christ will return "in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown."
The petite woman speaks with joy about her pain, wearing a large cross around her neck and clutching a notebook with Leland's portrait on the cover.
"This story is not about Shawn and Natasha," she said, as she sat inside a Beaver Springs restaurant. "This is about how you can still have joy amidst the pain."
March 15 began as a normal day for the Aitkins family. Shawn kissed his wife and children, Aiden, 5, and Leland, 2, told them he loved them and left for work. Natasha recalled that Leland came to her crying shortly after her husband left about a cut on his finger. It looked deep, she said, so she packed up the boys in their vehicle and visited their family doctor in Middleburg. Leland received three stitches. Natasha was so proud of Leland for not making a fuss over the stitches.
As a treat, she decided to get the boys a sandbox they had wanted at a local store. She then visited her parent's home and took the sandbox out of the vehicle, sitting it off to the side just a few feet from her uncle's pick-up truck.
The boys were playing outside as Natasha went inside to chat with her uncle.
"We were talking about salvation of all thingsI was telling him that for anyone it could be your last day here on earth."
They ended their discussion and her uncle told her he had to get going. He headed out to his truck, near where the boys were playing.
"He started the truck. I heard it start and I just ran outside," Natasha said, recalling that her boys were close to the sandbox beside the truck.
"I just had this feeling of 'Oh, no.'"
Her instinct kicked in and she flung her body at the door, swinging it open, she said, and ran outside.
"All I heard him say was 'Momma, Momma,'" Natasha said, and then it was over.
Five-year-old Aiden was away from the truck as it went in reverse but saw the wheels back over his brother.
As Natasha ran to Leland to respond to his cry, she, too, watched the wheel run over his body.
She instantly knew it was his last words she had just heard.
"I ran over to himI remember picking him up" she said as she held out her hands reliving the moment.
As she cried and mourned, she held onto Aiden in one arm as she cradled Leland in the other.
"What are we going to do, mommy?" Aiden asked.
"We're going to pray," she told him, and they prayed for a peace for their family and that God be with them as Leland had gone to be with Jesus.
"I normally would have prayed, 'God save him, please save him.' But it was like God was telling me 'Natasha he is mine.' It was then that I had acceptance."
She noted Leland did not suffer or cry or scream in pain. His departure was instant, and for that she is grateful.
"I was spared to witness that. He went peacefully."
When emergency crews arrived, they were unsure as to what to do since the boy had already passed away.
The responders to the scene asked the grieving mother, "What do you want us to do?" She replied, "I want you to pray with me."
From that moment on, the family decided they would not question the circumstance or ask all of the 'what ifs.'
Two weeks after Leland passed away, the Atkins asked their church leaders at Bannerville Christian and Missionary Alliance if they could hold a revival service with local pastors preaching each night and the couple would share their testimony of how God was helping them with the grieving process.
"I mention how Leland was gone in 'the blink of an eye.' I tell them there is no time to wait. Don't be gambling with your last five minutes of life," she said, referring to how people have told her they would wait to decide about accepting Jesus when the moment of death is near.
She said as she stands in those church sanctuaries telling her story, it does not take long until she sees the faces of those unsure of where they will spend eternity give looks of fear and uncertainty and the tears start to flow.
The Aitkins also share the peace they have in their hearts despite tragedy. They openly share how they grieve their son and cry for him daily and also how they are content knowing God is in control of their lives and that one day they will embrace Leland again.
"I'm so homesick," she said as she looked off into the corner of the restaurant.
On Sept. 1, the couple is holding a party for what would have been Leland's third birthday. They are inviting the public to join them as they release balloons in his honor. The River Church of Mifflintown will provide music with their praise team as the attendees praise God for Leland's life.
The party will take place from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Sept. 1, at 595 Walk Snook Road, McClure.
The Aitkins have also started a foundation known as the "Love Jesus Always" Foundation which shares the same beginning letters as Leland James Aitkins. The foundation will help families facing sudden crisis and tragedy with Christian counseling and other needs. The foundation is in infant stages at this time and more decisions need to be made about the details of the group, she noted.
The message, though, is unwavering.
"We want people to understand that in the midst of pain, God is most glorified," she shared.
Natasha said on the day of Leland's accident, many individuals stood on their lawn and in their home for hours showing love and support. Among them were several pastors who were also friends of the family. More than one of them approached Natasha and reminded her of what she had said when Leland entered the world how she felt he would be a pastor.
Each of those pastors then told her as she grieved her son that Leland was and will continue to be a pastor. People will come to know Jesus through this tragedy, they each told her.
"I'm so proud of Leland," Natasha said as she clutched the cross around her neck, "He is our little pastor."


text:
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Handicap Accessible Rest Room Signs
- Polished plastic signs have printing protected by 1/16" thick clear plastic for longer life
- Signs have a self-adhesive backing for easy installation
- Indoor use
- Available in 2 sizes
SpecificationsSelect options above to see specifications.
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Need more details or have questions about this product?
We have experts on staff to answer all your questions Monday-Friday, 7:30am to 7:00pm EST


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Place your company logo and booth number in the hands of Snow Conference attendees. Attendees will carry hotel key cards with them from check-in to check-out and even longer when the key card is kept as a souvenir.
Sponsorship Fee: $2,500
Exclusive Sponsorship
APWA Priority Points: 3
Make a lasting impression and gain visibility with Snow Conference attendees through sponsorship of the registration bag. Your company logo will be prominently displayed along with the Snow Conference logo.
In its second year of being offered, this popular one-day certificate program is an ideal opportunity to gain exposure for your company as the education sponsor. Your logo will be displayed on the course notebook and meeting signage. Sponsors can provide a giveaway item for program participants.
Sponsorship Fee: $3,500
APWA Priority Points: 4
Sponsorship Fee: $1,000 per keg
Five Sponsorship Opportunities Available
APWA Priority Points: 1
An attendee favorite! Sponsor the badge lanyard and attendees will wear your company name around their necks. Many attendees save their lanyards to wear at other conferences.
Sponsorship Fee: $3,500
Exclusive Sponsorship
APWA Priority Points: 3
You will be given the opportunity to give a welcome to approximately 500 attendees. Your company logo will be prominently displayed on signage at the event as well as printed on napkins used at the event. The opportunity to have a booth or equipment display is available in addition to the option of distributing a promotional item to attendees.
Sponsorship Fee: $5,000
Exclusive Sponsorship
APWA Priority Points: 5
Host the Monday or Tuesday lunch on the exhibit floor. Your company name and booth number will be placed on the lunch tickets and on signage in the lunch function area. Your company logo will be printed on the napkins. You will have the opportunity to have a host table in the food and beverage area to distribute a promotional item to attendees.
Sponsorship Fee: $2,500
Exclusive Sponsorship-one on Monday and one on Tuesday
APWA Priority Points: 3


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EAST LIVERPOOL - The Columbiana County Port Authority has paid delinquent property taxes on two different sets of property it is in the process of selling.
Port Authority attorney Tim Brookes reported at Monday's board meeting the back taxes on their railroad property and on a parcel at their riverfront industrial park in Wellsville were paid to eliminate any possible impediments to both sales.
There is a tentative deal in place for Aqua Infrastructure LLC to purchase the former Youngstown & Southern Railroad from the Port Authority for $3 million, with the acquisition expected to be completed this summer. Aqua wants the run a waterline along the railroad right-of-way to transport water to oil and natural gas wells in the area.
The Port Authority also recently gave final approval for the sale of 3.6 acres at the Wellsville industrial park to Marathon Petroleum for $2.4 million as part of the company's planned expansion to create a staging area/transfer station to transport oil and gas by barge.
The back taxes on the railroad and land being sold to Marathon property totaled $64,000.
Brookes said the Port Authority is currently reviewing the tax status of all 100-plus parcels of property it owns to determine which ones may be eligible for an exemption under the law.
"We'll address the other parcels once we get these (railroad and Marathon properties) taken care of," he said,
The issue of the Port Authority's tax delinquencies came up at a recent meeting of county commissioners, where state Rep. Nick Barborak reported he was working on legislation to help government agencies and non-profit organization that owe back taxes.
Government agencies, churches and non-profit organizations are eligible for property tax exemptions but must prove they qualify. When these groups acquire a new piece of property they must file for an exemption, but many neglect to do so. When these groups eventually decide to file for an exemption, they must first pay what they owe, with the Ohio Department of Taxation refunding the money once the exemption is granted.
Commissioner and former Port Authority member Mike Halleck noted the Port Authority owed $706,992 in back taxes, and he suggested paying the debt owed on its non-exempt properties.
For most of the previous decade, Port Authority finances were stretched thin because of underperforming and failed projects. However, the organization's economic fortunes have turned around in recent years because of the oil and natural gas boom underway in the region.
Port Authority Chief Executive Officer Tracy Drake said their review indicated some of the property was granted an exemption by the state, but they were still receiving property tax bills from the county.
"Some of the exemptions we received were not put on the books," he explained.
An example would be the Port Authority's industrial park in Leetonia, which was granted an exemption in 1998. Brookes said the Leetonia industrial park accounts for more than half the delinquent taxes owed by the Port Authority.
"That would constitute a large part of our arrearage, and we believe it is all exempt," he said of the Leetonia property.


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For more information, call Vanessa at 304-267-2730 or Mary at 304-263-7841.
Shenandoah Memorial United Methodist Church, 436 Millville Road: 7:30 p.m. Sundays. Call Stephanie at 304-535-1427;
Shepherdstown Presbyterian, 100 W. Washington St., Room 1 (across from U.S. Post Office): 8 p.m. Mondays. Call Yvonne at 304-876-2480;
Martinsburg Trinity United Methodist Church, 220 W. Martin St. (follow signs): 8 p.m. Tuesdays. Call Barbara at 304-263-9582;
Heritage House, 300 S. Mineral St., Keyser: 7 p.m. Tuesdays. Call Vanessa at 304-788-3487.;
First United Methodist Church, 49 S. Green St., Berkeley Springs: 7:30 p.m. Thursdays. Call Donna at 304-258-6309.;
St. James Catholic Church, Crosswinds Drive, Charles Town: 8 p.m. Fridays. Call Dianne at 304-725-1630.;
ALATEEN meets at 8 p.m. Fridays at St. James Catholic Church, Crosswinds Drive, Charles Town. Call Dianne at 304-725-1630.
Visit www.al-anon.alateen.org or www.wv.alanon.alateen.org.
For more information, call 304-676-7395.
For more information, call Roger Williamson at 888-267-4111 or visit www.bism.org
Lighthouse Group meets daily at 209 Frederick St. (times vary per day);
Surrender to Win Group meets at 6 p.m. daily at the VA Medical Center;
Free at Last meets at 6 p.m. every Sunday and Monday at St. Mark's Episcopal Church, Berkeley Springs;
Stay in the Light Group meets at 7:15 p.m. every Sunday at the United Reform Church, 113 Burke St.;
Not High at Noon meets at noon on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Destiny Church;
Living the Program meets at noon every Tuesday at Mt. Zion Methodist Church;
For more information or a complete list of meetings, call 800-777-1515 or visit na2day.tripod.com.
For more information, call 800-468-6933 or visit www.stopaddiction.com
In addition, a Martinsburg group meets at 7 p.m. every Thursday at First Baptist Church, 315 W. King St. There is a fellowship dinner the second Thursday of each month at 6 p.m.
For more information, call Steve at 304-839-2467 or Paulette at 304-839-2400.
The Sex Offender Registration Tips Program provides the public an opportunity to report registrants who are failing to comply with registration requirements, employment or supervision restrictions or who are in positions of trust where they can access children. Tips can be provided via the Helpline or website at www.parentsformeganslaw.org. This program is not intended to be used to report police emergencies. Dial 911 or contact your local law enforcement agency directly for emergencies. Agency deputized staff work collaboratively with federal, state and local law enforcement agencies to facilitate the appropriate follow-up action.
All are welcome. Free to everyone.
For more information, call 304-702-7455 or email email@example.com.
For more information on services offered or times and locations of scheduled groups, call Daniel Speis at 304-264-3902 or email@example.com.
Information on all scheduled support groups is also available online at www.hospiceotp.org/upcoming-support-programs.
For more information, call 304-263-6128 or 540-455-6670.


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Additional Information
What the T-bone steak is to beef, the porterhouse chop is to pork. Chefs have known it for years, but the cut is not commonly available to the public.
We're changing that by offering this thick and impressive piece of pork to the home cook.
What's all the fuss about? Everyone knows that cooking meat on the bone adds flavor, and that the silky texture of tenderloin is especially satisfying. The porterhouse offers the best of the both worlds. Plus, each juicy, thick slab of gorgeous Berkshire pork weighs in at about a pound.
This is pork at its finest, with extraordinary marbling and a distinctive, rich taste that is typical of the Berkshire breed.
Because this chop is so hefty, you'll want to sear it off and finish in the oven. If you grill it, start it over direct heat and then move it to the cooler part of the grill to finish.
Just the facts
- Exceptionally tender, well-marbled style of pork
- Heritage breed pigs raised on pasture
- No antibiotics or hormones* from birth
- No animal by-products in grain diet
- Each chop is 16 oz on average
- 4 individually packaged pork chops
- Ships in an uncooked state
- Product of USA
*USDA regulations prohibit the use of hormones in pork.
Our mission is to find farmers that share our vision of a more humane and sustainable way of rearing livestock. We respect our place in the food chain, and see farmers as true stewards of the land and environment. This is why we build real relationships with our farmers, and work only with those who respect nature and focus on the best animal welfare practices.
Our Berkshire hogs are happy hogs, raised by a cooperative of small farms in Missouri at the foot of the Ozark Mountains. This group of about a dozen family farms raises Berkshire and cross breeds, which we refer to simply as "heritage."
The hogs are fed on pasture, with access to water and supplemental grain consisting of corn, soybeans and rolled oats. No pesticides, animal by-products or fishmeal are allowed. The majority of the farms are sustainable "circle farms" that grow and grind their own feed for the pigs. Families of pigs are left together, to forage and frolic outdoors in pasture land. The indoor spaces offer at least 15 square feet of space per animal, and sows are never put in gestation crates.
The cooperative is strict about banning the use of antibiotics and hormones* on each farm and limiting the number of hogs the farms raise. They seek to add another farmer to the cooperative before they add more pigs to any one farm, making the process more humane for all concerned. They are paid a premium for their humanely-raised pork, making the small family farm a profitable business, and proving that there might be a future in the old breeds after all.
*USDA regulations prohibit the use of hormones in pork
You Might Also Like:
Berkshire Pork
Berkshire Pork St. Louis Ribs$62.99 - $64.99
Dried Mushrooms
Dried Porcini Mushroom PowderN/A


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9 Simple Tasks That No One in a Commercial Can Do Right
You and I live in a world of amazing gadgets and helpful household products. Unfortunately, everyone selling these products seems to be living in some kind of dystopian dimension where even the most mundane task is a struggle. I've collected data from countless miracle washcloths and smoothie makers to compile this list of nine simple things no one in a commercial can do.
#9. Do a Situp
Situps are the most explored yet least understood area of human science. No commercial can agree on what makes one situp useless and another one pointless. All we know is that there are upper and lower abs, neither of them can ever be worked properly, and isolating your obliques requires several products and a degree in robotics. The situp is the first exercise we learn as children and the first movement we make each day, and yet every commercial for an ab device starts with some idiot kicking and screaming through a situp like Steven Seagal escaping a mermaid costume.
Look, if you can't manage a situp, that's fine. It's just your body's way of agreeing with you and pie that it's time to retire to a doughy cocoon. In fact, go ahead and lie motionless forever, because from what I've learned from ab commercials, the human skeleton was not designed to move. Unnamed fitness scientists and actors in lab coats both reveal that crunches and situps strain your back and neck in pulsing, painful ways. There is so much insane and misleading information in ab commercials that after watching one you might actually think an electric belt can remove fat. And if it can't, so what? It will at least cook the pudding mix you're eating.
Crunches were so treacherous in the '90s that millions of the lazy and gullible bought ab rollers. They were like training wheels for your torso. They helped make exercise easier, but unfortunately the word "easier" turns a workout into pointless wiggling. Progress still marched on, so soon ab rollers weren't easy enough. Rival products began using it as an example of how impossible situps can be. For example, this man from John "Fitness Personality" Basedow's Fitness Made Simple commercial demonstrates how hard it is for a stupid fucking asshole to keep his head on a speeding Ab Roller:
Is falling off a neck pillow really the main roadblock to rippling abs? Are regular situps actually difficult and dangerous? If you think so, you also think it's normal to run out of breath darting your head toward hot dog smell. You think "lower abs" are the muscles that ghost hunters heave out of the way to search for your penis.
I'm not a physical therapist, but there are millions and millions of 80-year-olds out there today with functional spines and necks. With the blinding speed of aerobics technology, those people grew up at least 450 generations of situps and toe touches behind us, and they're fine. In the '40s and '50s, women did crunches by tying their menstrual belts to a mule and asking their slaves to frighten it. Men only lifted with their legs as a way to signal other homosexuals. The point is, exercise isn't a complicated thing. Anyone telling you differently is trying to justify their physical education degree.
#8. Organize
Infomercials are great at building a whole new life for you inside your imagination. You see a little machine you strap to yourself for five minutes, and then you get fit! You can do that; why wouldn't you set aside all reason and embrace that fantasy? I mean, the whole reason you're about to get free, sexy abs is because you're not stupid and fat. This is the same lunatic reasoning they use in organization commercials.
Organization is like fitness in that you can't get it from a device. You either care about putting things away, or you live in a pile of garbage. I'm not here to be your life coach, though, so if you think a product will help you obtain a skill every living person and squirrel already has, fine. More logic for the rest of us. Here, let's look at a typical ad for getting your shit together:
Naturally, the Palm Wallet has to first show us how hard our life is with our current wallet. Our receipts get everywhere, it seems like we've had some serious chromosomal damage, our wallet milk is mixing with our wallet meat, and all that searching is disturbing our wallet hornets. And that barely scratches the surface of the dangers of disorganization. The man in that ad actually cried out in pain when he sat on his overstuffed wallet. That seems like a rare concern, though. Any gynecologist will tell you that if you scream from sitting on your wallet, you probably bit down on one of your mouth's ovarian cysts, you pussy.
Oh man, that fella has way too many pap smear receipts in his pocket.
Will a special wallet or a closet organizer really fix a disaster of a person? Say you order an Aluma Wallet to help yourself get together. Let's overlook the fact that keeping your money in a little folding file cabinet is the adult equivalent of orthodontic headgear. Storage capacity doesn't matter in an As Seen On TV wallet, because you only need to carry zero condoms. The first time anyone takes a prophylactic out of a Palm Wallet, it will only be to prove that you can buy them in extra small. Ignoring that, extra pouches don't change whatever led you to this point in your life, shrieking from atop a mound of receipts. You still have to dismantle your old wallet, organize your new one, and maintain this new lifestyle you hate forever. Of course, not being able to fit anything in your purse is nothing compared to another simple activity no one in a commercial can do ...
#7. Wear a Bra
Is there anything more difficult than breasts? They attract baby goats, they punch you in the eye while trampolining, and there's got to be a better way to make homemade trail mix. Any amazing new bra commercial will tell you that a woman's body is a minefield of dumb bulges painfully poking through fasteners and cups. Some ladies have it so bad, all they can do is stand in one spot shrugging and fussing about the kind of bullshit do-nothing Congress that would allow straps.
A breasted woman faces untold trials. If she doesn't buy a napkin for her chest, her boss can see down her shirt every time he lowers his head into her cleavage. If she wears a brassiere, her sternum is poked by underwire, her shoulders are scratched by straps, and her back fat is pushed in directions only a sausage maker with poetry experience could describe.
Every single bra commercial cites a study that found that 80 percent of women wear the wrong bra size. Wait, really? How can almost all ladies be wearing the wrong bra? I'm usually very wrong about women and their anatomy, but I know that two boobs and a band size isn't quite enough math to overload the female brain, even if a constricting bra is trapping her thinking blood inside her port-side thorax. How can only 2 out of 10 women dress themselves properly? Maybe those statistics include some really stupid woman with several million breasts. Ladies, couldn't you get better numbers than that if you leaped chest-first into Tupperware every morning? I'm starting to think the researchers who did that study were a little distracted at work by all those tits.
Let's assume the absurd data is accurate and everyone is wearing the wrong size bra. I still don't get how ordering your underwear over the phone is going to help. Do you tell the sales associate to listen carefully and drop a boob on the phone? If it slaps, you're a 34D. If it thuds, you're a 36DD. If it quacks, you're a hilarious prank caller. It's not like it matters. From what I've seen in commercials, women have more serious problems than wearing bras. They also can't ...
#6. Wear an Anything
It's true. Ladies don't know how to wear an anything. Their slacks catch on their high heels, their reading glasses are always escaping, and oh the panty lines. For men, putting on clothes is easy. We crush our love handles into Slim T's, lose those love handles in superheated spa pants, and then the bravest among us die trying to put on shoes without a shoehorn.
In commercials, women can't get dressed from the very moment they step out of the shower.
I don't want to brag, but I can keep a towel in place by simply reading a breast-feeding manual. I understand that female bodies don't have that option, but is it truly so hard to tie a knot? The makers of the Wearable Towel thought the secret to wearing an ordinary towel might be resting the corners on your tits and hoping Isaac Newton was a liar. And if that didn't work, their plan B was argh, just give up.
This is a perfect example of how these ads aren't trying to relate to actual, living people. Most of these products solve problems that cannot and do not exist, and nothing illustrates this better than showing someone fail at failure. This is an actress trying to market togas 15 centuries after the fall of Rome, and even she's not stupid enough to know how to screw up a towel. If murderous sheep burst into her bathroom to get revenge against the fabric industry, it would be a more believable scenario than her growing up in a world without knots. Advertisers might as well try to convince women they aren't capable of wearing a seat belt.
Oh, goddamn it.
So they can't wear bras, clothes, towels, or safety belts. At this rate, the only thing women will be able to figure out are blankets. No, wait. Shit.
I'm not sure how the Snuggie happened. Was there some kind of need for a filthy robe you store on the floor? Was the Snuggie a scheme by the barbarian community to make wizards look less fuckable? All I know is that when you're selling products to a demographic that has trouble with blankets, maybe it's genetically irresponsible to sell anything other than poison labelled as candy.
When they were developing the easier blanket, I can't imagine who they talked to for market research. If you asked a focus group what's hard about a blanket, they'd tell you, "We're happy our learning disabilities are finally coming in handy, but we don't get how a person can fuck this up." Yet somehow, the Snuggie marketers decided that a fussy lady cursing the impossibility of blankets was the kind of situation late night TV viewers could relate to. The success of the product suggests that they were right, but their follow-up product, Snuggie for Dogs, suggests that they might just hear whispering voices that demand the Harbinger's message be delivered in sleeves.
I thought we'd reached the limits of imaginary human ineptitude when advertisers suggested that we have to attach blankets to ourselves, but the selling point for the Phrobi is that Snuggies are too hard to work.
"Mother, cover yourself. We can see your hopeless despondency."
So yes, there's a product that fixes your inability to wear wearable blankets. Is there anywhere left to go from here? If this stupidity arms race continues, our grandchildren will be selling blankets to one another that attach with a chin strap and skin grafts.
#5. Cook
Preparing food is definitely more complicated than the other items on this list. It's why culinary institutes are more respected than colleges that teach you how to fit breasts into a bra and sit under a blanket properly. Yet despite all the complications with cooking, the products being sold on TV seem to only solve shit we can already do. For instance:
While those inventors were developing a robot hand to help the world crack eggs, their customers might have had more need of an egg that's easier to spell. There are so many egg-cracking products, and people keep buying them. Are you telling me your dad got through a hitchhiker's diaphragm and you can't manage to get through a chicken embryo's membrane? Not being able to crack an egg by yourself is your way of telling evolution you don't believe in it.
Meatloaf was developed in the fifth century, so anyone with a bucket of squeezable food and a heat source could master a dish. If you can smash meat into a pan without losing a sock in it, the world's greatest meatloaf expert has nothing more to teach you. So it's truly insane that someone decided we needed this:
The woman in that commercial was unable to move food across several inches, so she stopped serving dinner to look up and demand an explanation from God. That's not a normal reaction -- that's a madwoman one incident away from drowning her children. As fancy as it might be, draining the grease out of that lady's wad of beef is only going to give her something to throw at her husband when he forgets to replace the toilet paper.
I guess I don't see how anyone can physically or mentally struggle with meatloaf. Maybe you're a fish dying on the floor but helplessly compelled by Aquaman's command for the perfect meatloaf? If so, you must really understand the troubles presented in that commercial. But I dare anything to relate to the ads for the Perfect Patty or the Chef Basket. No one is stupid enough to just pound random piles of beef into a cookie sheet while making burgers or grab for a searing pot while boiling water.
I was starting to wonder if there was a way to show how useful a gadget was without bad actors pretending to trip and fall into boiling pasta. That's when I saw the Salad Chef. It somehow manages to sell a device without any pratfalls or attempted suicides. Let's take a look:
|Who has time for salad? Well, I always find it rude to answer a rhetorical question with a duh response, but you're advertising on TV at two in the morning. Literally everyone who can hear you can spare a couple minutes for salad. I get your point, though. You're saying salad is impossible. That's crazy, yet far closer to my reality than seeing anonymous hands baffled by an egg.
|While the commercial may overestimate the trouble with lettuce, no stuntwomen are being injured by falling vegetables, and there are no housewives mashing through food with a splitting wedge and panicking. It addresses both of the salad problems -- cutting a few leaves and scrubbing off Spanish bug poison. Now let's eat?
|Oh, right. We need to pour the dressing on or whatever. So your product is a bag of chopped lettuce with salad dressing already on it? Smart!
|Oh, there's more. Well, we already had the knife and cutting board out, so screaming about more chopping might be a little dramatic. Still, a bit more fuss is a perfectly normal expectation of the homemade salad process. If this were a commercial for that ludicrous meatloaf pan, the actress would have cut her fingers off by now and arranged them in a circle to ritually murder her croutons.
|Wrapping and sealing? Weird. I thought we were making dinner. Apparently this commercial thinks I'm some kind of ... salad museum curator? I'll have to shift gears a bit in my thinking, but wrapping, sealing, and storing salad is exactly the kind of thing I should expect in this line of work. Now that I'm a big time salad curator, I hope I can romaine humble. Ha ha ha, you must hear that one all the time!
|Holy crap, so I am making dinner? Then the hermetical sealing and storing of the salad was, what? A way to tease my family while they sat at the table and waited? What does this fucking product fix? Because it seems like the problem here is me, not salad. By this point, I wouldn't be surprised if people in commercials weren't able to ...


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I could tell you all the things that aren't missing, like the half-drunk bottled water from Saturday on the chest by the entryway, and the piece of orange thread - taunting me on the carpet or the back of my pant leg - that Ivy insists is her friend. How do you lose a giant pillow? How could Gray's book be here just a minute ago and now it is absolutely gone? And how can you miss a bright blue sock?
The other night I sampled a roll-on perfume and at first I did not like the scent at all. Until about fifteen minutes later, I couldn't get enough of it. It reminds me of the time in sixth grade choir when I sniffed a girl's hair and asked her what kind of shampoo she used and she said Hälsa. I went back and bought it yesterday.
- just write


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Ved brug af dette site godkendes brug af cookies til analyse, personalisering af indhold og annoncer.
Benefits of the e-Handover solution
Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust wanted to improve patient safety and productivity across the hospital teams. The Business-Critical SharePoint solution, Ascribe eHandover connects Microsoft® SharePoint® 2010 Enterprise with their
line-of-business systems, improving efficiency, transparency, and reputation. Now they are using SharePoint for a lot more than just managing documents, they are managing patients and improving patient safety.
Business Needs
Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust (BHRUT) provides care for two main hospitals in the United Kingdom with over 1,400 beds, serving a population of around 700,000 people. They have been facing challenges with clinical handover
for years.
• The patient's new team should have immediate access to all necessary clinical information
• After hours, doctors should be aware of the patients under their care who are particularly unwell
• Doctors should have sufficient protected time for patient handover
• Each clinical action and annotation in patient notes should be traceable to the doctor concerned
• A patient's resuscitation status must be stored sensitively, but also accessible immediately
• Doctors should know the outcome of their decisions
Very few organisations follow these guidelines, and even if protected time is given for handover, the meetings tend to be chaotic, unstructured and long. This typically means that handovers are combinations of verbal, personal, unstructured, unverifiable;
therefore, interventions and actions are missed. Furthermore, many handovers span multiple shift gaps. Transfer of responsibility was not documented either. Teams and individuals were working in silos with no interaction between disciplines or medical specialities.
While patient safety is undoubtedly the main driver in the need for a Handover solution, many healthcare organisations are being fined for the discovery of patient sensitive information outside the trust (in the form of paper handover notes), and are also
increasingly facing litigation when incidents have occurred. For the latter there is no secure audit trail of handover activities that have taken place for the patient.
While some EPR systems claim to have handover modules, they are cumbersome and inflexible and do not get used. The main patient administration IT system provided no such functionality that would facilitate handover. The trust had SharePoint in place but
they were only using it for document management.
*Source: The National Reporting and Learning System for England & Wales
Dr Aklak Choudhury at BHRUT wanted to do something about this, so he designed a process that would provide a structure and facilitate some of the key elements of handover. With the support of Ascribe, a Business-Critical SharePoint partner they started mapping
out their clinical workflow to facilitate the key elements of handover. The workflow was expanded across disciplines and specialities.
The goal was to improve handover processes and patient safety across the organization and to fill as many gaps as possible that their backend systems did not cover. Since SharePoint and the LOB systems were already in place, they were able to get more value
out of their existing systems and improve ROI without rip and replace.
The Ascribe eHandover solution improves business-critical processes and provides a list of patients and their applicable locations (wards, beds and specialties) within the hospital. From these patient lists, clinicians are able to create handover records
at any point during their shift. A handover list is therefore effectively built for each shift. In the first 14 months of its operation, 21,500 handover records were logged and actioned in the system by 332 separate clinicians, this was a remarkable testament
to the success of the solution give that it was adopted organically.
The business-critical SharePoint solution, has driven four main areas of benefit:
Patient Safety, Security, and Satisfaction
With Ascribe eHandover, clinicians and staff all have the up-to-date patient information at their fingertips. The communication gap has been bridged between teams working on different shifts, with different IT systems, and on different locations. For the
first time tasks can be set on a Friday and be allocated to be completed up to 4 days. These tasks still had an impressive completion rate of 98%. Sensitive patient information, such as the patient's resuscitation status is now stored securely but can be accessed
immediately by the authorized person when needed in case of emergency.
Improved Productivity Among Teams
The solution helped with more educated and collaborative decision-making, as several people can contribute to each handover decision real-time and in a collaborative manner. Now doctors are aware of the outcomes of their decisions. As part of the newly designed
process, the handover list is projected on to the wall in each handover meeting, and the solution is updated with additional notes and guidance during the meeting. As well as discussion of the clinical case, other data items that were typically reviewed at
the meeting included who and what grade of doctor will complete the handover tasks, setting the patient priority for review and discussion of the resuscitation. A wealth of clinical data is displayed in these lists in a user-friendly SharePoint handover board
– presented and managed in a way that doctors and nurses understand. The list of handover activities is then used as a task list for the clinicians.The speed of the handover meeting fell from 45 minutes down to 20 minutes
Transparency and Audit Trail
Now activities are recorded and structured. There is a safe audit trail of handover activities in case of litigation. Each clinical action is traceable to the doctor concerned. Functionality such as, procedure pathways, nurse task allocation, and portfolio
aggregation for junior doctors all contribute toward transparency and closing the communication gap among different teams. As all the patient lists were centralized on SharePoint, doctors were able to run their handover work completely electronically without
the need to print out lists. This led to safer information governance for the hospital.
Improved Reputation
The Ascribe eHandover system led to better reputation internally and externally. The solution centres around improvements in patient safety. The hospital has experienced a falling patient mortality on weekends over the last two years. Secondly, based on
an Ascribe eHandover implementation survey, the doctors showed greater than 35% point rises in satisfaction for production of handover lists, identification of sick patients in the hospital, and clarity of handover task status. In fact, the doctors in General
Medicine ranked BHRUT as #1 out of 34 hospital trusts in London, versus the year before when BHRUT ranked in the lowest third. Finally, BHRUT has gained reputation in the industry as a beacon site for medical handover and is now working with Medical Education
England to potentially set the processes as a "standard" for all health organisations in the UK. The solution has also won the EHI 2011 Award for "Best use of IT to promote patient safety" and the Microsoft Partner of the Year for Health awards.
Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust (BHRUT) provides care for two main hospitals in the United Kingdom with over 1,400 beds, serving a population of around 700,000 people.


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As a human resources executive, Jane Perdue dealt firsthand with hiring. In the typical telecommunications jobs she handled, women and men were offered the same salaries. But men were more likely to negotiate for higher pay.
And that first paycheck affects every future paycheck because most raises are percentages of current salary. (Men also were more likely to press for higher raises.)
A major problem hindering women today? The value they place on themselves.
The oldest of three daughters, Perdue was the de facto son to her businessman father. His advice? "If you put your heart and mind to it, you can do anything a man can do — and do it better."
Perdue believed it. Until she lived it.
She earned her MBA and spent 15 years as vice president at Fortune 500 telecommunications companies.
Often, she was the only woman at the conference table.
"I never suffered from that lack of confidence," Perdue said. "I worked really hard and was confident in my abilities. I never felt I wasn't supposed to be there."
Yet, one day a boss dubbed her Aunt Polly for being an inspiring colleague whom people could talk to. He never mentioned she had just overseen a $450 million consolidation project.
That's when she decided to take a new path.
"Leadership in business today was made by men for men," Perdue said. "Women take care, and men take charge. That is still very much alive."
But not true. Good leaders, she found, perform tasks well and excel at building relationships.
In 2011, she joined with Amy Diederich, friend and fellow former executive, to create Braithwaite Innovation Group, a female-owned professional development firm in Mount Pleasant.
When she moved here, she read a Clemson University study showing that in 2008 47 percent of South Carolina companies didn't have a single woman in a decisionmaking role while 82 percent had only one woman or none in those roles.
"That just blew me away," she said.
So she joined the Center for Women. Then she launched the center's Women's Leadership Institute. And now she is the center's new board chairwoman.
"Don't be afraid to step into your own personal power," Perdue advised. "Make your voice heard. If you don't, we as women are never going to hit that critical mass to affect the workplace."


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Heidi Adena Hunter was born Sept. 1, 1951, and was raised in Tahoe City, California. Heidi died Sept. 29, 2012, at her home in Tahoe City.
She married William Hunter in 1972 and raised two children, Everett and Carolyn. Heidi and her husband owned Bacchi's Inn and ran the restaurant together for over 32 years. In her spare time Heidi loved to write poetry and share it with others.
There will be no funeral, memorial service or rosary. Interment will take place at Trails End Cemetery in Tahoe City.


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on November 6, 2012 - 5:42 PM
LEWISTON – Last month's spectacular re-enactment of the Battle of Queenston Heights was on the minds of Village Board members when they presented certificates of appreciation Monday to the leaders of the program and looked forward to more of the same.
Certificates were awarded to Lee Simonson, organizer of the Oct. 12-13 re-enactment; Bruce Sutherland, director of field operations and president of the Historical Society of Lewiston; and Pam Hauth, executive director and curator of the Historical Society's museum. Sutherland also is a village trustee.
Mayor Terry C. Collesano said Lewiston's re-enactment of one of the earliest and most fierce battles of the War of 1812 was "a magnificent event" that drew accolades from many of the re-enactors from throughout the United States and Canada, and from some of the hundreds of people who gathered along the Niagara riverfront to see and hear the simulated bombardment by vintage cannons aimed at British military positions on the Canadian side of the river.
Simonson praised the "tremendous cooperation of everyone, especially the 250 volunteers" who made the program possible. Hauth called it "an amazing project."
During the battle, U.S. forces briefly seized Queenston Heights, but they ultimately were repelled by British reinforcements, causing severe casualties to both sides.
Simonson read excerpts from a handful of letters of thanks from re-enactors who camped here from distant communities, most of them saying Lewiston's program was the most satisfying in which they ever had participated. Simonson said many of their comments, and a large number of photographs, are being compiled in a 60-page limited-edition, hardcover book to be published next month.
The book is intended to be both a historical keepsake and a "how-to" manual for organizers of similar future events. Simonson said a re-enactment of the British burning of Lewiston is scheduled for Dec. 15, and a monument to the wartime role of the Tuscarora Indians is being planned.
Board members said they were so impressed by the fireworks that accompanied the October re-enactment that they authorized an $8,000 contract with the same company, Skylighters of Western New York, headquartered in Orchard Park, to put on a fireworks display next July 4 on the Lewiston plateau – "a longer show with larger shells."
In other business, Collesano announced:
• Raked leaves piled loosely at curbside in residential neighborhoods will be picked up until Nov. 30. Effective Dec. 1, all leaves must be packed in bags before they will be collected. The mayor explained that snow and ice make piles of leaves difficult to handle, and work crews will not pick them up after Dec. 1 unless they are wrapped in bags.
• Parking on village streets will be prohibited between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. from Dec. 1 to April 1 to facilitate snow removal. "Illegally parked cars will be ticketed," the mayor said.
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Hey guys, Thanks for your votes and messages this week! My back is better. All is well. It was touch-and-go for a while on Monday, but I felt better as we got closer to show time. I had to rest it for a few days and Amber had to see her doctor about her knee, so we didn't start rehearsals until Thursday. Luckily, we have the rumba this week, so it's ...
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Tiffin reports
Devontae Q. Knight, 21, of Tiffin, was charged with furnishing false information in order to obtain beer or an intoxicating liquor Sunday.
A man went to the station Tuesday evening to speak to an officer about being assaulted by his brother.
A woman went to the station Tuesday evening to report someone was threatening to kill her daughter.
A purse was reported stolen Tuesday night in the 2800 block of West SR 18.
A woman went to the station with her son Tuesday night to report he was assaulted on Sixth Avenue earlier in the day.
A 300-block Jefferson Street woman reported Tuesday night a man was threatening to beat her up.
Gregory S. Elchert, 39, of Tiffin, was charged with disorderly conduct Tuesday night.
A bicycle was reported stolen early Wednesday morning in the 300 block of South Monroe Street.
A first-block Noble Street woman requested to speak to an officer Wednesday morning about drug paraphernalia she found in her garage.
Everett M. Johnson, 25, of Tiffin, was charged with domestic violence Wednesday afternoon.
County reports
A first-block West New Haven Street person went to the station Wednesday morning to speak to a deputy about the theft of a china hutch.
A deputy was requested Wednesday morning at Flatrock Care Center, 7353 N. CR 29, for a box in storage that had wires sticking out of it. According to reports from the Seneca County Sheriff's Office, it appeared to be old blasting caps and possibly some dynamite. The items were later detonated.
A 7000-block North Fort Street woman reported a break-in Wednesday afternoon.
Fostoria reports
An assault victim was being treated Tuesday afternoon at Fostoria Community Hospital, according to an employee of the hospital. The victim told police he was involved in a fight that the other person started. He was advised of his options.
A break-in was reported Tuesday night in the 700 block of Lynn Street. Money and a ring were taken.
A 100-block East Fremont Street woman reported Wednesday morning a brick was used to smash a vehicle window.
A caller from Fostoria Iron & Metal, 636 Spruce St., reported Wednesday afternoon they located a stolen cash box.
State Patrol
Susan Feucht, 27, of Tiffin, was cited with lanes of travel upon roadway following a two-vehicle accident Tuesday afternoon in the 3000 block of East CR 50.
Tiffin fire
Firefighters were called to 359 Miami St. Tuesday afternoon for an unintentional smoke detector activation.
County fire
Bettsville firefighters were called to West TR 158 Tuesday afternoon for an uncontrolled burn.
Bascom firefighters were called to South TR 87 Tuesday night for a carbon monoxide alarm.
Bascom and Clinton firefighters were called to West TR 120 Wednesday afternoon for an uncontrolled burn.
Fostoria fire
Firefighters were called to an automatic fire alarm at 1000 Independence Ave. Wednesday morning.


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Updated: Whooohooo! I finished 14th out of 68 in my age group and 45/391 out of all the women racers. Not too shabby for a newbie!
A race is partially made memorable for me by the post-race foodstuffs. I have a ton of race shirts collected and I never wear them because most of them are big boxy boy style shirts which do not accentuate my figure at all. The only exception to this for me so far has been the Atlanta Women's 5K which gave out lovely turquoise Nike technical tees. So yeah – good post-race food is a much better treat for me.
Based on snacks alone, this is my second favorite race ever. The first being the first race I ever ran. After that race, I grabbed a little sample cup of what I thought was frozen yogurt but turned out to be key lime pie. I had never tasted key lime pie before and based on its similarity (in looks at least) to cheesecake (hate,hate,hate cheesecake) it was something I never would have tasted. Boy had I been missing out! I absolutely adore key lime pie now and regret years of missing this occasional treat.
This race had a ton of good stuff. There were little banana-strawberry smoothies (must stop by Robeks for one of these one day!), chocolate chip cookies from Sweet Tomatoes, bagels from Goldberg's, bananas and oranges. There were also biscuits from The Flying Biscuit Cafe. I've heard tons of good stuff about this local chain but I've never managed to try it. Well, I am adding it to the hot list after grabbing a biscuit topped with apple butter. I am not even a biscuit person but it was sooo good. I've never had apple butter before either but I will be cracking open the jar that has been sitting in my pantry forever tomorrow morning.
The actual running of the race? Awesome! I was supposed to hold back and use this as a training run with a pace of 8:45 min/mile but who was I kidding? It was a cool sunny fall day and my music was pumping. I was really feeling like a real runner today so I decided to go for it. The course was typical "rolling" Atlanta course – nice and flat for a while with a few ohmanwheredidthathillcomefrom? moments.
After a slow and crowded start, I hit my stride and didn't look back. The finish line clock said something like 42:38. I didn't cross the starting line at 0:00 because of the crowd so that is a bit off and this was a small race so there was no shoe timing chip. My finish time according to my Polar was 41:55 and that might be a bit over as well because it took me a while to turn it off after crossing the finish line. My mile splits were 8:32, 8:03, 8:03, 8:15 and 7:43 (!). Whooo hooo!
My first race ever as 3-month old runner was on 6/23/07. It was a 4 mile race that I finished in 38 minutes and change. What a difference a year and 3 months makes! I went from a 9:39 pace to a 8:07 pace in a longer race. Who'd have thought?
In middle school (only because we *had* to take the Presidential Fitness test), I ran a 16 minute mile. In my first long run ever (6 miles with Babs), I happily ran about 10.5 minutes per mile. I remember her asking me if I wanted to go faster and saying "Nope!" because I was comfortable (and scared that I wouldn't finish LOL). With time and diligent training *anyone* can get better. If I can do it, anyone can!


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The 5 Most Pointlessly Women-Specific Products
Sometimes women need different versions of certain products, such as smaller clothes or sappier movies or bras with larger cups than men's bras. But most products don't need that split, which is why you don't see Wastebaskets for Women or Ladies' Bookshelves.
They wouldn't be used for books, of course.
That doesn't mean people haven't tried to make a "for the ladies" version of everything possible, with products such as:
I don't know about you, but time and time again I find myself taking out a hard drive or installing a curtain rod with a Phillips-head screwdriver and going, "Man! I feel so uncomfortable using what is obviously a man's screwdriver! I wish I had one that was pink, and maybe scented! I sure would be able to install this curtain rod much quicker."
Well, I guess tool manufacturers were listening, because you can get pink tools -- just for women!
Via A1 Gifts
I guess this would be a Phyllis-head screwdriver! Ha ha! Ha ha! Eh.
I won't be buying any because I don't see anything about lavender and chamomile scents, or maybe some inspiring quotes from Oprah inscribed on the handles -- and I just don't feel feminine enough without that.
I know a lot of these "women's tools" manufacturers go on about how, no really, women have smaller hands so they really need different tools with smaller handles.
Via Yankee Postman
Are you a drag queen with small hands? Then this hammer is for you!
First of all, I have hands so small they're basically child-sized, and a tool handle would have to be of rolling-pin girth for me to have any trouble gripping it. Secondly, if it's that important, why not just make and market small-sized tools as small-sized tools? Then they can be used by smaller men and kids as well, instead of forcing those groups to buy floral-print hammers.
It seems like manufacturers are afraid women won't buy tools because they're associated with "masculine" activities, so they try to appeal to women by making them pink and having them host, er ... "tool parties." You know, just like Tupperware parties, except with tools -- or maybe more like sex toy parties, except with literal tools.
"Pink-izing" tools for dainty women afraid of "man things" might seem pretty silly, but that's because you haven't seen the pink guns.
That's right -- pink guns. If you're a woman who's put off by the macho violence of guns, maybe you'd change your mind if they were pink.
Via The Gun Source
This isn't a Photoshop.
I mean, I am really on the fence about whether I should purchase a gun for self-defense and recreation, or whether the safety hazards outweigh the benefits. But wait, pink you say? I'll take five! Look at how cute they are!
Is that really how gun makers think the mind of a woman works?
Well, I guess a lot of people think that. In a survey of gun-buying types, 50 percent of men and 40 percent of women thought that pink guns would sell well to women (not counting a special cause like a breast cancer awareness campaign). But only 20 percent of women said they'd actually buy one, and only 10 percent had actually done so. Half of the women actually said it was condescending.
Via Chandler's Watch
Now why would anyone say that?
So yeah, I guess ladies that buy guns think all the other ladies that buy guns are girlier than they are. "I wouldn't buy that, but there's a lot of sissy ladies out there and I'm sure they would." You kind of see this "more macho than thou" attitude across a lot of "manly" sports. Only 16 percent of women who fish want pink fishing products and hardcore women cyclists who are tough enough to ride with men often feel like it's hard enough to demonstrate they belong there without flaming pink "women's specific" bike gear undermining their efforts.
In general, people seem to overestimate how much appeal pink has to women. One popular study made the headlines showing that women are "biologically wired" to prefer pink, but a look at the actual graphs show the distribution isn't as narrow as the headlines make it sound. The number of men and women who like blues and blue-greens are almost the same and both sexes' color preferences are actually pretty spread out in general:
Via Bad Science
Secondly, a sample of participants in China (where red is culturally ingrained as a lucky color) turned out much different:
Via Bad Science
Which makes you wonder how they came to this whole "biologically wired" conclusion to begin with.
Anyway, making a few small runs of novelty pink guns for the tiny demographic of women who like guns and must have everything in pink makes sense, but considering the actual numbers above, there are way too many of these things.
Energy Drinks
Suppose you are a girl that needs to stay awake to study for your -- I don't know -- fashion marketing final or midwife practical exam or whatever. Should you drink a Red Bull or something? Hell no! It's so manly! It might make you grow a penis! You'd rather fall asleep, fail your exam and go back to hairdressing or stripping, am I right?
But wait! Now there's Go Girl -- the pink energy drink just for women!
Via Go Girl
I am waiting for them to make a smoothie called Mmm-Hmm!
Now, they do give some money to breast cancer, and the drinks have less calories -- so I guess maybe those are things you could say women would care about. But wait, it also comes with an "herbal appetite suppressant." Ouch. Any person with common sense knows that going up to a woman and saying, "I made this especially for you! It has a diet pill dissolved in it!" is a good recipe for getting punched in the face.
Or kicked in the balls. It's a risky proposition, no doubt.
So why make a drink that says that?
OK, what else have we got? Let's see -- the marketing blurb closes with, "Plus, it comes in a cute pink can ;)."
I'll be throwing this on the ground.
Via Rockstar Energy Shop
You too, Rockstar Pink.


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''Think you have heard everything? I work at the Crown Hill Burial Park in Vienna. For several years we have been a collection location for the Marines' annual Toys for Tots campaign.
Recently, the man handling this area had us photocopy his personal ID, and gave us explicit instructions to release the donations to him only. Seems some unscrupulous individuals have gone into collection sites to empty the boxes, and they were stealing the contents.
It's hard to believe that times are so tough it makes someone think it's OK to take toys designated for underprivileged kids. It's bad enough we see theft in our cemetery and items taken from graves, but stealing a kid's Christmas toy is truly despicable.
Lord help us all if this is what our society has come to.
Carol Waren


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Process Development Jobs Still the Most...
Wall Street Decline Takes Its Toll...
Adapting to Evolving Business Environments Is...
Quadruple Helices Appear To Have Role...
Microarray technology has come of age as a powerful approach to revealing the genome and its dynamic expression through the application of gene-hybridization or gene-expression microarrays. While the former are aimed at detecting the presence of specific genes in a sample, the latter are designed to measure the level of activity of genes in particular tissues.
Because gene-expression microarrays display the transcriptional activity of the tissue from which they are derived, they have the potential to reveal new and unanticipated gene functions, including unforeseen disease subtypes, new diagnostic markers, and mechanisms determining disease susceptibility.
As the technology has developed over the years, earlier problems of lack of consistency and repeatability have been addressed, and the data generated by these investigations is much more robust and comprehensive than in the early discovery period of this technology. A number of companies are moving forward on different fronts to make these improved and reconfigured platforms available to their customer base.
Much of the activity in microarray design is based on the custom requirements of investigators. The starting point is the basic material used in building microarrays, mainly oligonucleotides and peptides. Sigma Life Sciences, a division of Sigma-Aldrich, has substantial involvement in this technology with facilities throughout the world dedicated to their manufacture, according to Stacey Hoge, product manager for custom DNA and PEPscreen, and Carlos I. Martinez, Ph.D., head of global technology development.
"Given that we have many manufacturing sites, it is important that our technology be normalized and harmonized," Hoge explains. "Everything is made to order, but at the same time, we have to rapidly meet the needs of our customers."
Synthetic peptides can be important components of disease-monitoring technologies. Sigma produces overlapping peptides that represent strong HIV epitopes. They can be incorporated into 96-well microarrays and used to screen patient sera for HIV progression, as evidenced by the production of anti-HIV antibodies.
"Frequently, customers are looking to improve the quality of printing when they design microarrays, so we may use an amine linkage to achieve better printing quality," explains Dr. Martinez.
Monitoring and repairing errors that may be inadvertently introduced into the sequences of the reagents is an important component of the Sigma services, especially since the work is time-sensitive. Peptides and oligonucleotides are quality controlled through the use of MALDI-TOF and electrospray ionization.
"Analytical instrumentation is similar to the computer industry, in that it is constantly changing. The machines cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, so we can't be constantly replacing them; however we are adding minor upgrades and improved software all the time."
In fact, the lifespan of a typical instrument is about 10 years. "The benefits of this evolving technology are greater simplicity and lower operating costs, but this requires orchestration because all our centers must have identical approaches."
Affymetrix offers platforms for DNA copy number, SNPs, and RNA-expression analysis, according to Dara Wright, vp for clinical marketing.
"Recently, we commercialized the OncoScan FFPE Express cancer copy-number array service." This platform is designed to profile FFPE samples on the company's GeneChip microarray platform. These genetic signatures aid in clinical trial stratification and may ultimately lead to companion diagnostic and other clinical test development, Wright adds.
The technology requires a modest quantity of input DNA and yields copy number, allelic ratio, and somatic mutation data from the samples. The intention is also to develop an off-the-shelf product that customers can run in their own lab.
The challenges inherent in building microarray-based tests that can achieve FDA approval are well-known. "There is a growing body of literature and clinical studies detailing how multiparametric gene signatures can significantly improve diagnostic yield as compared to traditional techniques such as karyotyping.
"There is a consensus building in the industry concerning the optimal approach to validation and development of oversight guidelines for lab-based interpretations of complex findings. I believe it is likely that many new genetic tests for cancer diagnosis and prognosis will reach commercialization in the next few years."
To expedite the improvement of array-based clinical assays, the company has introduced the Powered by Affymetrix Program, which enables partners to build and commercialize tests for disease diagnosis and stratification.
A collaboration with The Medical Prognosis Institute (MPI) to develop microarray-based tests to determine which cancer patients have the greatest likelihood of benefiting from a particular drug exemplifies this approach. Using the FDA-approved Affymetrix GeneChip® System 3000 Dx v.2 and custom microarrays, MPI's Drug Response Predictor pairs its algorithms with a proven platform to help guide clinical validation and patient treatment.
In another partnership, Affymetrix is working with Signature Diagnostics, a German clinical diagnostic company with two microarray-based tests for colorectal cancer. Signature Diagnostics plans to launch these tests in Europe and will subsequently seek U.S. regulatory approval.
As a component of its partnership with the scientific community, Affymetrix participates in relevant scientific societies, consortia, and government-sponsored symposia. Through these efforts, the company helps promote the application and standardization of microarray technologies.
One recent example is its work with the MicroArray Quality Control (MAQC-II) initiative. "This is the second phase of a study that involved more than 400 representatives working to establish best practices for development and validation of predictive models based on microarray gene expression and genotyping data for personalized medicine."
K. John Morrow Jr., Ph.D. ([email protected]), is president of Newport Biotech and a contributing editor for GEN.
K. John Morrow Jr., Ph.D. ([email protected]), is president of Newport Biotech and a contributing editor for GEN.
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Created last Thursday, the Hidden Cash account already has over 150,000 followers – all in search of $100-filled envelopes that an anonymous donor has hidden in such spots as Dolores Park and City Hall. So far about 50 envelopes totaling $5000 have been claimed.
It's a simple concept with a rewarding payoff.
A hint is Tweeted as to where to find the money. When someone tracks it down, they Tweet their find – and a picture of themselves with the cash.
The playful donor behind the game wants to remain anonymous, but tells PEOPLE he is a wealthy real estate developer between 35 and 45 years old who builds homes and sells them for a large profit. Why share? He explains that he wanted to give back to the community in a fun way.
"There is nothing wrong with donating money to a traditional charity, but I also wanted to donate in a more spontaneous way," he says.
He adds that he's willing to keep the game going into the hundreds of thousands of dollars.
"This is intended to put a smile on people's faces," he says. "I can show people that they can pay it forward."
The most rewarding part for him so far is reading that people are doing just that. "They're posting that they're sharing the money they find. They're buying lunch for their office or sharing most of it with fellow beachgoers," he says.
One woman posted on Twitter, "I wish all millionaires followed @HiddenCash's lead. This IS the very meaning of paying it forward."
Next stop for the game: Los Angeles.
"I want this to expand to other cities," the donor tells PEOPLE. "I want this to become a movement."
Thank you @HiddenCash - made our day! #onlyinsf #dolorespark pic.twitter.com/ZEFUldDCaF— Brian Gale (@brino53) May 24, 2014
@HiddenCash thank you!! pic.twitter.com/KbcpLkR5YM— ✠ Quincy ✠ (@Quincy_Grim) May 24, 2014
Thanks!! @HiddenCash pic.twitter.com/DqE7FU9PCe— Olivia Benson (@GrijalvaOlivia) May 24, 2014
@HiddenCash thank you! I shared my find with @zumbamos and @porfitron pic.twitter.com/589Yq4wH7T— Pumpkin (@thebabypumpkin) May 25, 2014
@HiddenCash early bird! I love SF! pic.twitter.com/ei5yyS2xDk— Leopold Sunga (@PiMpsTyLeO) May 25, 2014
@HiddenCash the tv popped on in the cafe and mentioned you so I looked to see one pop up just one block away!! pic.twitter.com/TJ3t3Xg94I— Alexzandra Nirvana (@nirvanazana) May 25, 2014
@HiddenCash Big shoutout for this folks!! pic.twitter.com/D8tMnRSddH— Sergio Loza (@Big_Serg415) May 25, 2014
Painted ladies @HiddenCash pic.twitter.com/uoti5TBNkZ— mosholla (@mosholla) May 26, 2014
@HiddenCash YESSSSSS had to race another searcher but I WON. (Old catapillar bulldozer on ocean beach) pic.twitter.com/JsUxk7QXCv— Matthew Burkert (@mattypatty513) May 26, 2014
Thanks @HiddenCash pic.twitter.com/3rz29DGwXU— Tokatz (@juxedposition) May 26, 2014
thanks @HiddenCash, sharing most of it with other beachgoers. have a great day! pic.twitter.com/U5HDUTeQDT— Forrest Hanson (@gumplr) May 26, 2014


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Getting your little one dressed can be a battle. You want him to wear the new awesome Rockies tee you just bought, but he wants to wear the tee with the little yellow ducks on it. You don't have to accept defeat. Let your kid wear the cute ducky shirt, but make sure the latest addition to the Colorado fan club is kept warm in this Satin Snap jacket from Majestic. It features the Rockies wordmark embroidered on the left front chest and the team logo embroidered on the left sleeve. Teaching your future Rockies fanatic good fashion sense is what being a parent is all about!
- Material: 100% Satin
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20 Dairy Spring Cleaning Tips
20 Dairy Spring Cleaning Tips
It may not seem like spring weather, but spring is here! That means it's time to clean, replace, and check on your equipment and facilities. David Bray at the University of Florida provided several items on this checklist for your dairy farm's spring cleaning list. While Florida's summer climate is different than other regions of the U.S., the same concept can be applied in your area.
1. Clean out high organic matter dirt (MUD) in pastures and lots and add new dirt, especially in calving areas.
2. Clean your barn cooling fans now and whenever they look dirty. Dirty fan shields can cut fan efficiency in half. This not only moves air to cool cows, it also helps to remove moisture and dry the place out.
3. Make sure your sprinklers, foggers, etc, work. It was a cold winter, and many pipes froze and/or broke. Dirty nozzles don't add much water. Check timers for the proper time for adding water. Constant water is not as efficient as intermittent sprinkling and saves water. Set your sprinkler thermostat at 75 degrees F or lower during the hot season. Sprinklers need to run at night because cows get hotter at night than daytime on those hot nights. You need timers to control sprinklers at night, so they only run when cows are eating and standing at the feed line. Running sprinklers when cows are in the stalls will waste great volumes of water and raise the humidity in the barn.
4. Clean and rebuild your pulsators. Wash out and change the filters on your vacuum controller (unless you have a variable-speed drive); make sure all ATOs work. Believe it or not, dealers do sell new pulsators.
5. Replace all milk hoses, wash hoses, pulsator hoses and jetter cup holders. Replace all rubber hoses in the milk house that may add water to the pipeline and /or bulk tank wash. These hoses harbor pseudomonas and coliforms and can raise your bacteria count. If rubber hoses are used to wash udders, change them, also.
6. Check every cow in the herd for blind quarters. Band the cows' legs so they are not milked. This will lower your SCC and SPC. Consider drying off or killing these quarters.
7. Replace all of your floor-mounted cow wash sprinkler nozzles once a year. Spring is a good time to do this. They not only clean cows; they cool cows also. Several short wash cycles are more efficient and use less water.
8. Check the pipeline and bulk tank chemical concentrations. If you change brands or suppliers, they may need to be checked. With new LPC concerns, this is important.
9. Clean your condenser fins on your milk coolers. Dirty fans cut down cooling and efficiency, and you get warmer milk at higher electric costs. If they are near a dusty area, concrete the area to keep the dust off the condensers.
10. Cull your chronic mastitis cows now. It will lower your cell count, and your help is sick of treating them.
11. Clean out the back third to half of your free stalls at least 10 to 12 feet deep and add new sand. Keep your stalls bedded every 4 to 5 days and groomed daily.
12. Clean out cooling ponds. Pump out the water, clean out the sludge, and spread it someplace where the cows do not have access to it.
13. Let ponds sit dry for the sun to work on the bacteria. Mycoplasma and other nasty stuff live in ponds. You must clean them out at least once a year if you continuously add water to the pond. If you DO NOT continuously add water, you need to sample the ponds for mycoplasma, and clean out the ponds once or twice during the summer.
14. Mow and spray careless weeds in all pastures; calves, heifers, dry cows.
15. Remove nonfunctioning machinery from working areas and disregard items that are no longer used or ineffective. Throw away (recycle) bale twine or feed sacks that may have accumulated over the winter.
16. Tidy the farm, remove fallen tree limbs, plant some flowers. Show the pride you have in your cows, your management, and your homestead.
17. Repair or fix any gates or doors that may have been damaged over the winter. It is a safety concern for animals and people. It also affects the public's perception of how you manage your operation.
18. Replace light bulbs, and check batteries for those needing to be changed.
19. Keep a stiff upper lip. If you made it through last year, you can make it through this year.
20. Clean out your mind, go visit other dairies. Some of them are doing amazing things and others are not. You can get new ideas or be glad you don't own some of them.
While it seems there is less time in each day to get the needed tasks completed, we do need to make the time to get actual and proverbial wheels greased, the batteries recharged, and a spit-shine on those boots so that your operation can run smoothly throughout the upcoming year. Whether you take one of these items or all 20 to task, it's a great way to embrace the new beginnings of spring!


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- Date: to
- Day 1
- Devdays002
- Speakers: Scott Hanselman
- 19 comments
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Join Scott Hanselman as he explains ASP.NET MVC from File -> New Project to more advanced topics and ninja tricks!
Oops, something didn't work.
Really great session
there are some encoding problems on the web viewing at a few parts. But its a great video regardless.
Online streaming didn't work for me in IE8 or FF. So downloading...
why source code is not attached..?
It can help us learn more.....
Indeed the stream does not seem to work. Downloading it.
Was very excited to find this basic intro to MVC. One of the developers I work with recommended it. Much better than reading a book - but it doesn't stream. I'm resorting to downloading which seems slow, but to be working. - Snrky from http://www.snrky.com
Can't play the mp4 Zune file on a windows phone 7 device.
Getting the "Sorry, we can't play this file on your phone." error.
Video is not available :(
Great session!
Nice tool (glimpse) for debugging on the server.
It's very good video .. still I have many questions.
Ya its good for a beginer to have good idea on MVC 3
This video is awesome for the beginers....since i am fresher it helped so much to understand basics of diffrence between web forms,web pages,and mvc....i learnt how they are helping in developing asp.net application in different ways.Thats great upload the videos like this to make us happy....
This is a really informative and interesting video! I particularly like the brief intro and demo of Scott's favorite package add-ins (e.g. Modernize, Nuget, and especially Glimpse (which is brilliant) as Scott pointed out).
BTW: I downloaded the WMV and watched it without problems off-line (and didn't try to view it on-line).
Suggestion: It would be VERY helpful to have the links to all references made available in a small text file that could be downloaded. I'm now re-viewing the whole hour just to pause and write down the links manually (ugh!).
Thanks again Scott for your great work!
hey Scott ... great work!
its really a very helpful to me to start MVC3
good for a beginner to have good idea on MVC 3
Sorry guys, I may have missed the answer to this question in one of your comments...How can I get the width of my datepicker field to default down to the size of the other fields on the form? The fields are the same size in IE. What should I do if I'm using Fire Fox? Thanks.
Wow! Even long after Asp Mvc 3 it is just great to watch this video. We can very well see the teacher inside Scott Hanselman which makes this video clear and full of usefull information.
Thanks for the session
Great video, only thing is I am trying this with mvc 4. Its a different application I am building. I am using bootstrap and the way you did it for the datepicker. I tried it your way and its not working for me. Any way you can help me Scott?
Hi everyone ,
While implementing the same code I am facing on problem my db is created by default one ,may be because while making that object as global I am facing the prob of "The provider did not return a ProviderManifestToken string" at the Line in Personcontroller db.people.Add(person); .Can any one help me out why it is ? I will be thanx full to him .
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on November 16, 2012 - 8:30 AM
Something funky this way comes. While attending the Rubblebucket gig at the Rapids Theatre on Tuesday, I bumped into a friend and we engaged in the usual "Sup this weekend, dude?" banter. I said, "Dark Star Orchestra Saturday, of course!" My friend surprised me by countering, "I'm gonna have to skip it, unfortunately – Turkuaz is playing Nietzsche's!"
I froze. Should I come clean, risk appearing out of the loop and simply offer an honest "Who?" or take the low road, pretending I knew who Turkuaz was and sniff condescendingly like an indie-rock hipster type? Decisions, decisions!
Eventually, I went with choice A, confessed my ignorance and manned up for the consequences. "Man, you have absolutely got to check these guys out," gushed my friend. I assured him I would. By Wednesday morning, I'd discovered this Brooklyn funk collective; by lunchtime, I'd fallen in love with them. Good lord, these cats can play! See and hear for yourself at www.turkuazband.com.
Yes, I'm a total newbie when it comes to Turkuaz. But nonetheless, I feel completely comfortable recommending that you check the band out at 10 p.m. Saturday in Nietzsche's (248 Allen St.).
Be scene
The Tralf Music Hall (622 Main St.), welcomes soul jazz/R&B outfit Pieces of a Dream at 8 tonight. The legendary Philadelphia trio of keyboardist James Lloyd, drummer Curtis Harmon and bassist Cedric Napoleon is touring behind its recently released "Soul Intent" album. Tickets are $40 (box office, Ticketmaster).
A bushel of local bands is donating time and talent to the Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund at the Tralf beginning at 4 p.m. Saturday. The Informers Band, Hotel Bravo, the Heritage, Blurock, Early Attic, the New Marionettes and Blue Rootz are scheduled to perform.
Tickets are $10. All proceeds will go to the American Red Cross Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund.
In need of a little classic metal? 2 Minutes to Maiden, a tribute to Brit-Metal pioneers Iron Maiden, will play nothing but beginning at 10 p.m. Saturday in the Niagara Hotel (58 N. Transit Road, Lockport).
Thanksgiving Eve finds a few formidable Buffalo jam bands joining forces in the Tralf. "CranJam" will feature performances from Funktional Flow, the Maniacs and Slip Madigan beginning at 8 p.m. Wednesday.
Nonperishable food donations for the Food Bank of WNY will be accepted at the door. Tickets are $10 or $12 at the door.
Duke's Bohemian Grove Bar (253 Allen St.) hosts its own Thanksgiving Eve party beginning at 9 p.m. Wednesday. The "Jive Turkey Celebration" will feature a host of Buffalo DJs, including Daringer, LoPro, Camaican sensation, Charlie the Butcher, Shuteyes, Drop D and BearskinRug.
OLP helps out
Next Friday, you can shake off your "Black Friday" by attending the Our Lady Peace gig in the Rapids Theatre (1711 Main St., Niagara Falls). At the same time, you can join the band in helping out the Ray family of Grand Island. The family is reeling from a house fire Nov. 5 that left them homeless. Our Lady Peace will donate a percentage of its merchandise sales at the Rapids Theatre show to the Ray family, and donations of household items will be accepted in the lobby on the night of the show, beginning at 6:30 p.m. Tickets for the concert are $37 (box office, www.rapidstheatre.com, www.ticketfly.com).
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