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From staff reports
LEWISTOWN - More than 75 people marched through the streets of Lewistown to protest legalized abortion Sunday during the annual Pro Life March.
According to a press release from march organizers Citizens Concerned for Human Life of Mifflin-Juniata, the march started at Dorcas and Third streets in Lewistown at 1 p.m., and proceeded to the Bethel AME H.O.P.E. Center.
Article Photos
Photos submitted by FRANK CUNNINGHAM
The Rev. William Weary from Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church leads the Lewistown Pro Life March down Market Street Sunday.
Photo submitted by FRANK CUNNINGHAM
State Rep. Kerry Benninghoff, R-Bellefonte, speaks to a crowd of pro-life supporters Sunday at Bethel AME Church during the Lewistown Pro Life March.
The local march began three years ago when a member of the group decided to organize a rally for people who were unable to attend the national March for Life in Washington, D.C.
Events surrounding the 39th annual national march begin this weekend in Washington, D.C., with prayer vigils, banquets, youth rallies and other gatherings. The actual march will be held Monday, beginning at the National Mall.
The rally is held annually near the date of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision to legalize abortion.
Groups from the Lewistown and Huntingdon areas have scheduled a bus trip to the march.
After the Lewistown march, the participants gathered to pray and listen to speeches.
The Rev. Michael Bailey opened the program stating how football player Tim Tebow had the opportunity to grow into a respected individual because his mother refused to have an abortion.
The Rev. Bernard Carpenter of Bethel AME Church introduced Cindy Mansberger, executive director of Crossroads Pregnancy Center.
Mansberger asked the audience "What does God want us to do?"
The answer to that question was strongly represented by all the speakers, the release states. The answer was to pray for the unborn and their parents and to vote pro-life, according to the release.
The Rev. William Weary spoke of God's forgiveness using St. Augustine of Hippo as an example. Augustine had a life of debauchery before his conversion with many seductions of women, the
licentiousness of other students, the theatres, the intoxication of his literary success, and a proud desire always to be first, even in evil.
Before long he was obliged to confess to St. Monica, his mother, that he had formed a sinful liaison with the woman who bore him a son, an entanglement from which he only delivered himself at Milan after 15 years of its thralldom. St. Monica prayed for her son for more than 30 years.
Michael Ciccocioppo, Pennsylvania Pro Life Federation director, discussed his organization's efforts in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania emphasizing the need for families to promote pro-life and oust anti-family politicians. He said there are 33,000 abortions every day in the world.
Ciccocioppo said $60 billion in U.S. federal spending is given to the United Nations Population Fund, which works "to ensure that every pregnancy is wanted" in 150 countries.
Key note speaker for the event was state Rep. Kerry A. Benninghoff, R-Bellefonte, of the 17th Legislative District.
Benninghoff emphasized voter's contact their representatives on the issues, otherwise the representatives just pass bills without any debate.
"If you don't act you get what you get," he said.
He continued: "God came as a baby, not an adult. If a baby is good with God a baby should be good with men and women."
Teaching children about pro-life is one of the most effective ways to eliminate abortion, Benninghoff said.
Citizens Concerned with Human Life is a 501 non-profit organization devoted to education about the sanctity of life.
To learn more or get involved in the group, call 667-9334 or write to firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Jack Speaker by Ben Wahrlich for ANAESTHETIC
interviewed designer Joey Roth, we mentioned we thought his ceramic and wood speakers were at the forefront of a new category of beautiful handmade sculptural boutique audio pieces. Ben Wahrlich's Jack speaker seems like a handsome relative... "The Jack speaker housing is made of concrete which has been hand mixed and hand cast, ensuring the unique varied characteristics of the material, while the crossbar is made from turned hardwood. An exclusive concrete formula has been produced over several months of development, which boasts a compressive strength that is more than 10x that of standard concrete. This mix is specifically designed to achieve high strength with reduced weight, meaning safer shipping for international customers."

subset: commoncrawl


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Top Definition
crack and methamphetamine - "Mexican speedballs" is a code phrase which means the same as crack cocaine
mexican speedballs
door xoxvic 16 juli 2009
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Combination of smoking Weed and drinking Coffee. Immerses the user into a energetic, yet hazy world. Usually done first thing in the morning
Morning dude, lets have a lil Mexican Speedball sesh.
door TheREALDEAL12369 26 oktober 2010


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Top Definition
While titty fucking a girl you nut all over her breasts and proceed to take her credit cards and cut them up and let the pieces of plastic land in your jiz.
A great way to get back at your mall addicted wife is to give her the angry shopper.
dodane przez Cblue Crawford maj 08, 2008
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Angie Schneider
Angie Schneider '99
Angie Schneider graduated from Westminster with a BS in psychology in 1999 and runs a small pottery business out of her home, ACS Ceramic Arts. Angie picked up pottery from taking classes at Westminster and it quickly became a passion. Angie is a board member of Clay Arts, Utah, and in 2010 helped start a local gallery, Ephemera Arts. Her work at the studio allows her to be a leader and a teacher, but also a team member: she is able to teach people the art of clay work, but also learns and creates along with them. Angie also works as a sales coordinator at Warner Truck Center, where she started working part time as a Westminster student. Her job at Warner Truck Center helps support her love of pottery and clay work.


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on February 27, 2013 - 3:59 PM
Prosecutors say their case against Tonawanda Coke is about profits versus safety and greed versus health.
Defense lawyers say, no, it's really about state and federal regulators stacking the deck against a company that always played by the rules.
Those claims and counterclaims are at the heart of one of the biggest environmental trials in years, a criminal prosecution that is unfolding in Buffalo federal court this week.
It's a case of the government accusing Tonawanda Coke of 19 separate crimes, including polluting the air and ground around its River Road plant in the Town of Tonawanda and then trying to hide that fact from government inspectors.
"We all know a business operates to make money, and there's nothing wrong with that," Assistant U.S. Attorney Aaron J. Mango said in his opening statement Wednesday. "However, in our society, we don't believe in profit at all costs."
The company will likely counter with records indicating it passed inspection after inspection, year after year, until state and federal regulators "stacked the deck" by changing the rules.
Tonawanda Coke will point to its 30-plus year record of compliance with environmental regulations and suggest that changed in April 2009 when state and federal regulators conducted a weeklong inspection of the plant.
"The government's case in this prosecution is backwards," said Gregory F. Linsin, a lawyer for the company. "The evidence will show that for more than 30 years, from 1978 through April of 2009, the company worked hard to understand those regulations and comply with those regulations."
In the end, when the lawyers are all done, a federal court jury will decide whether Tonawanda Coke is guilty of the 19 criminal charges that prosecutors claim are rooted in a business strategy that stressed profits over safety.
Wednesday, the first day of the trial, lawyers on both sides used their opening statements to provide a blueprint for the case.
Mango, for example, promised to prove that Tonawanda Coke and fellow defendant Mark L. Kamholz, the company's environmental control manager, repeatedly violated the federal Clean Air Act, accounting for 15 of the 19 charges against the company.
At the heart of the prosecution's claims is the allegation that Tonawanda Coke repeatedly – and illegally – spewed coke oven gas with benzene into the air, often through a pressure relief valve.
Mango said the company led regulators to believe the valve was inconsequential because it rarely opened, a claim later found to be untrue.
"Every half-hour, every 20 minutes," Mango said of the frequency of the valve opening. "Sometimes, these emissions were continuous. The valve was open all the time."
Prosecutors also plan to challenge the company's use of two "quenching towers" and the towers' lack of baffles, a piece of equipment designed to reduce the particulate matter in the coke oven gas produced at the plant.
"Clear as day," Mango said of the federal regulations requiring baffles, "but the evidence will show that neither tower had baffles."
Defense lawyer Rodney O. Personius asked the jury to wait for "the rest of the story." He said the evidence will show that Tonawanda Coke and Kamholz had a reputation among state and federal regulators as straight shooters willing to work with them.
At some point, he said, the state Department of Environmental Conservation and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency changed their approach to the company.
The company is expected to argue that the valve was exempt from state law and that the towers lacked baffles because the company had an "explicit exemption" for that as well.
In all, the company faces 19 felony charges. Most of them are violations of the Clean Air Act, but the company also is accused of violating a federal law known as the Resource Conservation and Recovery Act. The law covers the storage and treatment of coal tar sludge, one of the byproducts of the making coke.
The company also faces a single charge of obstructing justice, a reference to the April 2009 inspection and the allegation that Kamholz and others tried to conceal information about the valve from the inspectors.
The company will no doubt argue that the government's prosecution is flawed, the result of regulators not dealing fairly with the company.
A civil suit on behalf of residents who live near the plant was filed in 2010 and suggests that dangerous levels of benzene, a carcinogen, were found at the plant. The lawsuit asks for "substantial" punitive and compensatory damages but does not specify an amount.
email: email@example.com


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Top Definition
A gentleman's stitch is the stitch the doctor gives to woman after birth in the vaginal opening to make sure that future sexual activity will remain satisfactory to the man. The woman is made "tight" again for the man. Sometimes, after a child going through the birth canal, the vaginal opening can become stretched and loose which is not conductive to good Sexual activity. Does the phrase, "you could drive a Volkswagen through there" give you a hint?
When the ultrasound showed how big the baby was growing, I told the doctor I was going to need a gentleman's stitch after it was all over.
โดย plagerist 27 กรกฎาคม 2010
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Top Definition
Also referred to as "Teh Addition"
The person of your desire. Called the addition because you think being with them would be a positive thing for you.
Mandi: "OMG I am madly in love with the addition."
Me: *points* There he is.
Mandi: "STFU!"
dari Heather (Ya Know) Senin, 26 November 2007
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on February 4, 2013 - 1:00 AM
Women should choose adoption over abortion
In a recent letter, a member of Planned Parenthood emphasizes that a woman's decision whether or not "to take an unintended pregnancy to full term is complex, nuanced and intensely personal." It is indeed quite true that such situations are often very difficult for the woman: there are financial questions, there are fears that she might not be ready (mature enough) to raise a child, there are worries that her educational/career plans might have to be radically changed and similar issues.
If she feels that she just can't raise her child, she might be able to find a grandmother, sister or other family member or friend to take on the task. Failing that, she could put her baby up for adoption to be raised by a loving couple eager for a child.
We in the right-to-life movement lament only one option: to pay a doctor to destroy the baby growing within her while pretending that the baby is hers ("a part of my body") rather than a separate human being who possesses the right to life.
Dan Mattimore
West Seneca


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*If you know me well, you know that I would never wish my kids any harm, but this was just.too.funny. You had to be there. I am still laughing about it.
June 29, 2007
Yup, It's Officially Summer
*If you know me well, you know that I would never wish my kids any harm, but this was just.too.funny. You had to be there. I am still laughing about it.
11 comments:
I totally would be peeing, er um... laughing right there beside you!ReplyDelete
YOU AWFUL AWFUL MOM! NEVER LAUGH AT SOMEONES MISFORTUNE! LOL...ReplyDelete
kidding... :-D
I would of cracked up!
Glad it wasnt glass tho.. ;-) Wheres a camera when you need 1.
Oh my gosh, folks, Stephanie SQUEAKED she was laughing so hard. I had to make sure poor Carter was ok, then I started rolling.....ReplyDelete
It was a scene from a movie!!!
Thanks for coming Steph...time well spent!
- HeatherJune 29, 2007 7:05 PM
OMW!!! I would have laughed my fanny off!! Did he get all indignat that you laughed at it? See I have a girl - and she would have gotten all indignant.... ;-)ReplyDelete
haha! I still remember my brother doing that as a kid. Hilarious. It's like something from a cartoon.ReplyDelete
I am guilty of a mommy laugh a time or two ;) I'd have been laughing as well. heheReplyDelete
So funny! My friend has walked through my parents screened door! It is funny when someone does it!ReplyDelete
I would have been laughing hard, too! Glad he and the screen are okay.ReplyDelete
I know...Steph called me on her way home and was still laughing about it...I can just picture it..ReplyDelete
Poor Carter!! I'm sure he would have laughed if he saw himself, too! :)ReplyDelete
Jane, P&B Girls


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A good citizen will make the right election choice
To the editor:
It's that time again. Election day 2012 is approaching quickly. Are you registered to vote? Are you a good American citizen? Do you care what America means to millions of U. S. citizens? I hope you do, but let me say a few things.
That rumble that occurred some time ago was said to be an earthquake, or was it the founding fathers turning over in their graves? They were wondering what was going on in the country they founded and put into being. This country was founded on three written items: The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution, and The Bible. Now we hear from our President that we are no longer a Christian country. The Constitution is being broken by government on a continual basis. The country is going deeper in debt by the minute. The law officials will not protect Americans from illegal immigrants. Is it time for a change?
The answer to that question is an individual decision, and you have a part in that decision, but only if you vote. Before you vote you must answer some questions for yourself. Since I believe in the three documents mentioned above, the answer for me came easy. I want the United States to be free, prosperous, a help to the oppressed, and an envy to the world because of what we enjoy as Americans.
If you believe as the President does: abortion on demand, give your tax dollars to those who cannot, will not, or choose not to work, put thousands of coal workers out of jobs, bail out other worker's employer while they send their company's products and technologies to China, spend money by the trillions, believe that pro choice is the right of a women to kill a baby (by the way, most women are smarter than most men so the choice is to have sex or not -not to kill the results of sex), then vote for him. If you believe in the three documents as I do, vote for the man you think will uphold those principles. If you have questions, as I do about which candidate can do that job, welcome to the confusion; however, the best man or woman to uphold the truth of those documents may not even be on the ballot, but we have to choose the best of those who are.
For those of you that want to respond to this letter, don't bother. Just get registered and help make the decision on what kind of country you want to live in.
This writer takes an opposing view on election
To the editor:
Mr. Romney has shown once again that money is his bottom line and not people. I say, people do matter in this country. "Forty-seven percent" of us do not just want a hand out. We are so much more than that. We have gone to school, worked, raised our families, paid our "fair share in taxes," tried to save for retirement and be generous with our money when possible.
I completely disagree with the thought that it is the government's job to create wealth as well as the notion that 47 percent of us want a hand out. Oh, by the way, who is the wealth for? The wealthy have failed to create jobs or even keep them in this country.
We are so much better than what Mr. Romney says we are. We deserve our government leaders to care about all Americans. We all need to work together (which is a cliche) but it is true.
We don't need people in Washington whose only goal is remove Mr. Obama from office, not because of the job he has done or not done but because he is Mr. Obama.
We need to exercise our right to vote. It matters! Use the right that we have fought for to decide our government. Vote -vote - vote. Do not let anyone take away that right or say it does not matter! Especially with all the money being spent to say it does not matter and that "47 percent" of us do not matter.
American voters - Don't let the right wing conservatives, the tea party or Karl Rove and Co. or anyone else steal this election. Check on your status or update it if need be but make sure you vote! Call the Democratic headquarters if you need help. They care about people.
Young people need to vote with logic and not emotions
To the editor:
To quote from his book "Obama Zombie's" Jason Mattera writes "Young people in their hearts of hearts actually believe that a scrawny street-agitator-turned-presidential-candidate could save mankind, renew our faith in American politics, and restore out faith in government. It was a message that hoodwinked my generation. A message of false inspiration in bureaucracy not in individual freedom and initiative-that turned out a generation of zombies. And it was a message of a heat-seeking missile aimed at other wise clear-thinking individual who come from the most coddled, overprotected, information-drenched generation in American history. We are the "give me, give me generation. And the Obama team and its marketing mavens know every button to push to program us like an iTune play list," end of quote.
Pretty rough stuff and I don't necessary agree with every thing the man said, however voting records do indicate the young voters were 80 percent in favor of Obama in the last election and it looks like it will be the same in this coming election.
When I hear of some of the reactions that occurred at several of the colleges following the last election, when people acted like they had just elected a God as their president. I wonder how many of these young people when they again enter the voting booth will this time apply logic rather than emotion.
In my numerous contacts with young liberals I find their philosophies be very much alike. All their arguments appear to come from the same source and I find it difficult if not impossible to penetrate or have any effect on their train of thoughts.
As I write this we have a president who is kowtowing to the rest of the world and showing a weakness no other president has ever expressed. His liberal far left philosophy has caused this country to lose all respect in the eyes of the world and the inevitable monetary collapse of the greatest economy the world has ever seen.
We have a pied piper in the White House, who is rapidly leading us into the false Utopia of Socialism. There as he has promised, we shall all share in the wealth and oh yes, live happily ever after.
Presenting 'The Great American Challenge!'
To the editor:
The Great American Challenge!
I have to preface this by saying that I do not support either candidate for president. This certainly is not a tip of the cap to Obama.
However, I'd like to present an assignment to many readers and I hope to generate some responses.
Without further ado:
Without using the word "Obama," or relating to him at all, please explain why you like Mitt Romney and want him to be your president.
Best of luck to all.


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Open source news this week: August 25 - 29, 2013
Weekly wrap-up: New Zealand bans software patents, open source is for lovers, and more
Open source news this week: August 25 - 29, 2013
What other open source-related news stories did you read about this week? Share them with us in the comments section. Follow us on Twitter where we share these stories in real time.
- New Zealand bans software patents. Chances are you've already heard that New Zealand passed a new Patents Bill this week making software patents illegal. So rather than summarize this news story, let me just pass along some links to articles that take a look at various angles on this exciting news:
* Quartz explains how NZ banned software patents without violating international law.
* Washington Post writer Timothy B. Lee outlines why the United States should follow in NZ's footsteps.
* Want to know what others like you think about the ban? Scroll through the zillions of Slashdot and Reddit comments.
* Finally, I smiled at Jolie O'Dell's brief post in VentureBeat, in which she writes, "Time to bust out the champagne*, neckbeards!" She later clarifies at the bottom of the post: "*Just kidding. We know you drink craft brews, not champagne."
- Track sharks in real-time. It is now possible to track the paths of sharks in real-time thanks to the OCEARCH global shark tracking project. The OCEARCH website offers a variety of tracking data for sharks that have been tagged by researchers. Computer World does a nice job explaining how the technology works and what researchers are already learning. OCEARCH expedition leader Chris Fischer touts the research as open source because anyone can access the data at the same time and nothing is proprietary. If you're worried about whether sharks are swimming close to your favorite beach, you may want to avoid this website. After all, ignorance is bliss.
- Now Hiring: Open source support. If you're Drupal savvy and you're seeking a job, you may want to consider heading to Australia, where the government reports the need for more open source support. Australian government CTO John Sheridan says Drupal is so popular with the country's government agencies, that government's vendors are having troubles staffing qualified employees to meet the demand, reports ZDNet's Josh Taylor. Of course, depending on where you live, flying to Australia isn't cheap. So you may want to find a job there before you pack your bags.
- I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. Linux celebrated its 22nd birthday this week with founder Linus Torvalds riffing off the famous email he sent 22 years ago by writing on Google+ it's "just a hobby, even if it's big and professional." There was no shortage of news coverage of this anniversary, but I enjoyed the ReadWrite post, which includes interviews with Eucalyptus CEO Marten Mickos and Clouder Chief Strategy Officer Mike Olson. In their interviews, the pair reflect on how far open source has come and where it may go from here.
- Open source is for lovers. The matchmaking site eHarmony has found a match in open source software. eHarmony CTO Thod Nguyen tells V3.co.uk that after a long search, his department chose MongoDB to help improve the speed of its matching systems, a move that ultimately reduced matching times by 95%. The company also uses Hadoop, Hive, and Hibernate, reports V3.co.uk. eHarmony has also released its "seeking" library on GitHub. So if you're an eHarmony user, should you bring up your newfound knowledge about eHarmony using open source software on your next date? I say why not. If the site paired you with someone you're compatible with, they'll probably be interested in your passion for open source.
5 Comments
Go Aotearoa! (Not that this makes up for the recent GCSB related shenanigans.) ANZAC Biscuits for everyone! You'll have to 'compile' your own though. ;-)
Hurray for New Zealand.
Steve Stites
It's good to know that the New Zealand government cannot be bribed by big companies with lots of money, like they are in the USA. Let's hope this sets the bar for other countries to follow.
Bravo New Zealand! Here's to showing the World that there's "another" way to get things DONE!


text: Zach isn't impressed with his new dog, Larry, at first. He'd hoped for a chocolate lab or a spaniel, not this funny looking mish-mash of a dog with a great long tail. And who names a dog "Larry," anyway? But Zach discovers that when Larry twirls that ridiculously long tail – Labracadabra! – amazing things happen. It's not very long before Zach knows that he and Larry will be Best Friends Forever!


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12 Dangerously Irresponsible Steps to Building Your Own PC
If you're anything like me, you prefer to do things yourself -- whether that's fixing your car, building a shed or, in this case, putting together your new PC. If you're anything like me, you're a wildly incompetent borderline alcoholic narcissist with rage issues and an irrational distrust of technology. If you're anything like me, this is not going to go very well for you ...
Step 1. Assess Your Needs
Are you absolutely sure that you need a new computer? If your games are sluggish, a dose of RAM and a new video card might do the trick. If you're running out of space, that's just a new hard drive. If porn sites aren't letting you in anymore, just steal someone else's credit card. All of those are way easier fixes than building a new rig from scratch. Pretty much the only reasons to purchase and construct an entirely new custom PC is if you ...
A. really know what you are doing,
B. do not have any kind of computer at all, or
C. are very drunk, and somebody told you that you couldn't do it.
Well, fuck you, Gary -- you don't know me. You don't know my history. I'll build -- I can build whatever I want. I can build a boat. And I'll call it the S.S. Suck My Boat-Dick, Gary.
Step 2. Acquire the Parts
Now, before you go off and do something drastic, like "shop," you'll want to take a look around you. Why buy new, when used might do the job just fine? Don't be a wasteful member of our consumerist society. Odds are that your friends and neighbors all have computers. You know what's easier than buying and building a brand new PC? Petty larceny!
If you're worried about getting caught, here's a trick: Only steal one part at a time. Plenty of people will call the cops because somebody stole their computer -- nobody calls the cops because they're "pretty sure the dirty-bathrobe guy from next door jacked my heat sink."
If you're encountering some difficulty with this step, and a good, heavy brick doesn't quickly alleviate the problem, you're going to have to go to a store. You could probably order online, but man, if you had access to a working credit card, you'd still be getting into porn sites and there would be no reason to build a new PC, right?
Step 3. Shopping
If you're outside of a major metropolitan hub, the only electronics store near you is probably a Best Buy, in which case: Congratulations on your new HDTV and Xbox Elite Madden Edition Bundle, which "Chad" from the "computers and shit" department insists is "totally like a computer, but not for fags."
PROTIP: Get the extended warranty! They're all already laughing at you anyway.
If you're lucky, however, you might have a Fry's that is precisely one hour farther away from you than you would ideally like to drive this weekend. If that's the case, you might actually come out the other end of this guide with something like a PC. The key here is to stride purposefully and manfully into the Computer Parts aisles, pick up two boxes and carefully consider them until somebody comes over to help you.
Wave him away. Wave them all away.
You want the absolute last guy who comes to help you. He's going to be the last guy because he's the only one currently busy actually helping somebody else instead of Googling "what is a PCI bus some kind of bus or car" at the least conspicuous workstation. Be patient: The man you want will come to help you, eventually. He will have a beard. His name will be Alan.
He will be magnificent.
He will be helpful and patient and kind, like a lover. His strong but gentle hands will whip hard drives from the shelves like ripe apples; he will slap inferior video cards from your hands like a worried mother; he will be everything you've ever wanted in a customer service employee.
Alan will disappear exactly halfway through the shopping process, and he will never return. He will be replaced by a boy whose name tag reads "Billiam." Billiam will have terrible allergies, and will somehow manage to wear a belt wrong. He will insist that the first product he grabs is the best one, but only after a long pause and a frantic glance around for help. Just buy whatever he tells you to.
Hope left a long time ago; too late, you realize its name was "Alan."
Step 4. Prepping for Assembly
Shit, what is all this stuff? SATA cables? Solid state drives? Terabytes? What the fuck is a terabyte?! Do we -- do we not use gigabytes anymore? Is this like a VHS/Beta situation? God damn it.
God damn it.
Gary was right. You're not smart enough for this.
There's only one solution ...
You're going to have to get really, really drunk.
Drinking builds confidence, and confidence is 99 percent of PC assembly. Sadly, the only liquor available in the house will be old, dusty wine or some kind of flavored bullshit that seemed like a good idea at the time, but turned out to taste like someone ran booze through a prison convict's ass and then filtered it back out with a Pixy Stick. Take your Bushmills Irish Honey whiskey into the office, close the door, put on the most esoteric Japanese neo-punk you can find and steel yourself: This is going to get weird.
And it's going to taste like you're tossing a bee's salad.
Maybe we can make a game of it: Every time you have to stop and flip through the manual to figure out an acronym you don't understand, take a drink. Ready? Go!
Shit, BIOS? Really? Right out of the gate?
You'd better put the hospital back on speed dial.
Step 5. Assembly
Terabyte? More like ... more like GARYbyte ... s my cock. Ha! That's good. That's good stuff. Look at this fuckin' thing:
What the bullshit are you? You're clearly supposed to go in that slot.
You too good for the slot, hombre? You remind me of Gary. With your flashy gold pin things and that stupid goddamn look on your non-face.
Yeah, ahah, what's up now, dick? This is slot-town, population: Dick. (That's you.)
God damn it, I'm so lonely.
Step 6. Call Your Exes
Vaaaannnesssaaa ...
Haha, what, baby? No, that's dumb; don't be dumb. I never promised that, I-
Vanessa, come on, hey. No, just listen. Just listen for a second, OK? I just want to say one thing, I promise, and then I'll -- you can hang up. Just one thing. S'important. Promise.
OK? Here we go: Why were you always such a bitch?


text:
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Source: CNET
quote: You'll never understand that it's your useless rude crap you post here that is the reason for all the trouble you got. If you grow up and stop posting your usual shit here - the situation will improve quite a lot. Just try it once, it will help your condition, I promise.


text:
5 Popular Excuses That Are Totally Meaningless
#2. "I Don't Trust Myself to Own a Gun"
(I can't bear to be misunderstood on this topic, so let me just say that this entry has nothing to do with the shattering events in Connecticut. It's not my attempt to be timely or "funny" about tragedy. It was written prior to those events. It's also not meant to be a catalyst for a debate about gun control in the comments.)
Several times, I've heard people say, "Oh, I don't trust myself to own a gun." They're not talking about being clumsy or accidentally capping the dog during a shotgun cleaning; they're talking about their anger-management issues. They're saying that they are such uncontrolled bottles of rage that they don't trust themselves to own a weapon without murdering someone.
"Yes, I just acknowledged that not having a certain possession is the only thing keeping me from homicide. What's the problem?"
Yes, I'm super glad that there are rageaholics who don't own guns. Still, not buying a gun does not solve the problem. Do you hear yourselves? You're scared that the only thing keeping you from murder is not owning a murder weapon. So yeah, it's a good idea to keep suicidal patients away from straight razors, but that's not the end of the therapy.
#1. "I Don't Like Conflict"
Some people avoid confrontation because they "don't like conflict." That's a big excuse in the comments every time I've ever written about the value of debate and argument. But this statement implies that anyone willing to engage in a confrontation must enjoy conflict. Not true. Know who hates conflict? Me. I absolutely cannot stand conflict. It gives me a sick feeling of dread.
But there are a lot of things that don't feel good that need to be done: going to the dentist, getting chemotherapy, telling Soren Bowie he's the "prettiest boy in the land" so he'll come out of his After Hours trailer and not ruin the big shoot. Not enjoying something isn't always an excuse, is my point.
"Where's my beautiful man? Come out of the trailer, baby."
Like I said, I hate conflict, but I hate what happens by avoiding it more. If you run away from conflict, some sort of injustice will occur. It could be something small and inconsequential, or it could be big. So it's not the biggest deal in the world if a waitress brings you the wrong food and you eat it anyway because you don't like conflict. But what about when they bring your kid the wrong food? Are you going to make Junior eat it because you don't like that squiggly feeling in your tummy when you and a stranger disagree? What if it's something worse than a botched order? What if someone actually means to do you harm, or at the very least take advantage of you?
Saying that you "don't like conflict" is an invitation to the world to behave badly knowing that you won't get in its way. It works the same for little old ladies trying to cut you in line at the bakery or dictators imposing their will on the masses. It just requires passivity. No one except the worst people in the world actually enjoys conflict, but there is no shortage of scenarios when it's required.
New episodes of HATE BY NUMBERS are almost here. Have you seen this one? Also, be sure to follow Gladstone on Twitter and stay up-to-date on the latest regarding Notes from the Internet Apocalypse. And then there's his website and Tumblr, too.


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The 7 Most Condescending Sports Euphemisms
There's sort of a weird dynamic in the world of sports commentary where red-blooded sports-watching men have to tiptoe around certain subjects as delicately as Victorian gentlemen. You can't bring up race, you can't call someone a jerk and unless you're a pundit or columnist, you can't straight out say someone sucks, even if his suckage is so blatant that pre-verbal children are pointing it out.
Instead, you end up using these euphemistic code words that are in some ways almost worse than just dissing people straight out. Like:
Role-player/Journeyman/Utility player
Real meaning: A mediocre player who will never be asked for his autograph.
Sometimes a player will get subbed into a game and the commentator's first thought is, Wow, what a complete non-entity. But because it's unprofessional for some reason to call a spade a spade, they'll instead point out that he's a "role-player" or perhaps a "hard worker," which is as condescending as someone telling you that your handwriting is very good when you ask them what they thought of your story.
Via Keith Allison
Nazr Mohammed, literal live action role-player.
In basketball, you might call someone a "banger" if they are willing to get under the basket and take a lot of tough physical contact from other players. Which seems like a compliment until you notice that nobody who can actually, you know, shoot, ever gets called a "banger" no matter how much pushing they do in the paint.
Via Keith Allison
Dirk Nowitzki -- proof that Neanderthals mated with modern humans? Perhaps. Banger? No.
Basically they're evading the implied question of, "Is he a good player?" by answering, "Well, uh, he works really hard and is OK with getting hit a lot."
Occasionally, you get someone trying to throw role-players a bone by saying they "can be stars in their own way" or are an Important Part of the Team, really! Which I would think is worse than being ignored.
Other uses:
When an announcer says: "With a seventh-round pick, they'll probably be picking up a role-player."
He means: "Apparently all that's left in the seventh round this year is a bunch of useless players nobody cares about."
When an announcer says: "A journeyman center acquired last year in the [star's name] trade."
He means: "I guess this guy must have been attached to that package in that big trade last year along with the players I've actually heard of."
Real meaning: Small, probably white.
Sports are full of unusually large specimens of humanity, so it's only natural to do a double-take when you see a player much shorter than his teammates, and only natural to want to point it out. The problem is that you usually want to point it out after he's done something impressive, effectively saying, "Even though Wes Welker is so tiny you can fit him in a teacup, he was somehow able to jump up and catch the ball. Oh, good for him!"
Via Official Star Wars Blog
Sometimes news outlets will mistakenly run a photo of Warwick Davis alongside a Wes Welker story.
So you have to go about it in a roundabout way. You use words like "scrappy"or "feisty" or say he's "a real sparkplug" -- words that are ostensibly about someone's energy and enthusiasm, but would clearly never be used for a large or average-sized person. So you can pretend you're talking about how he caught the ball because he's got so much energy and enthusiasm, and not saying he caught it despite the fact that he is an adorable munchkin.
But it's kind of depressing to compare someone like Wes Welker, who is actually an average American male at 5'9", to this:
Via GeekCast Radio
To be fair, size is pretty important in a lot of sports and affects a lot of what a player can do. But why do you need to mention that a hockey player is 5'8" (and "feisty") in order to point out that he's good at avoiding penalties? He doesn't do it by ducking under them.
And is being 5'7" really some kind of Lifetime Channel handicap you have to overcome to succeed in baseball? Really?
Would you really want your MVP celebration to be commemorated with phrases like, "the little shortstop stood tall?" Did you just win the championship of Major League Baseball or the Little League World Series?
Real meaning: Asshole
I've gone over this before regarding Chargers QB Philip Rivers. When the game is going terribly for him, he steps up by yelling at his teammates a lot. Of course, when he's winning, it's a totally different story. He instead yells at the other team a lot. Or their fans.
Via The Baltimore Sun
And don't get me wrong, some of them totally deserve it.
And as a commentator, you can't avoid saying something about it when he's doing it right in front of the viewers. So you go, "What a ... competitor! Yeah. Let's go with that. Rivers has got a real ... competitive spirit." Or maybe he's just really "passionate."
Via NeonTommy
The fans, the bloggers and the columnists can feel free to use words like "jerk," "punk," "dick" and "asshole," but commentators have to pretend they're angels with no negative thoughts about anyone.
So they have to play it like the only reason he's yelling at his own teammates is because he really, really cares about winning the game. The problem is that this implies that the other players who aren't yelling at their own teammates don't care as much about winning the game. That they're driven by a sort of laissez-faire attitude where it's OK to win or lose, as opposed to grownup self-control in the face of massive frustration.
Via michael248
Like Tim Duncan, four-time NBA champion, who clearly doesn't care very strongly about winning.
Of course it's not just Philip Rivers, whom I tend to pick on because I don't like his smug, frat boy face. Athletes in any sport are always making dick moves, and no matter how awful they are, there will always be some people somewhere excusing them as merely being "really competitive."
Via NFL.com
Andrew Bynum being competitive.
Real meaning: Hitting people hard and probably dirty.
Even if you don't know sports, you can already tell "physical" is a euphemism because how the hell is a player or team going to not be physical? While a phase shift to the noncorporeal realm would be awesome for passing through defenders, I don't think I've seen a single professional player in any sport capable of pulling that move.
But it sounds distasteful and barbaric to say, "The Lakers really need to start hitting the other team harder when the referee isn't looking," so they go with, "The Lakers really need to bring a more physical game here in the third quarter to keep pressure on the Celtics."
Via CBCSports
Your average hockey headline.
There's a lot of nuance to the term, though, so while one fan might really be asking his team to push opponents around and stand their ground in a legal and honorable way, another fan might be asking for nut shots.


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The recent thread on the government giving "illegals" 4 billion in free, free, free tax money! got me thinking.
Many people said that the immigrants should just pack up and go home, and when they can get their proverbial shit together and be all nice and legal to come on back.
Most of us were, of course, grandfathered into this country, but if for some bizarre reason we were all told to pack it up and "go back where we came from"...
Where would you go? I'm a mix of a few nationalities, and although my grandma (RIP) insisted I'm part Hillbilly, I don't know where that may be, and I don't think Italy and Ireland would just let me in to get my shit together.
Debate: Where would you go if you had to pack it up and leave? Or would you hide and try to stay under the radar for as long as you could?
ETA: Would you want to go back to where you "came from"?


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A Windsor businessman who previously pleaded guilty to stealing more than $150,000 from his elderly business partner was sentenced this week to two years in prison.
Garry Kohler, 37, was charged with four felonies last year and was accused of bilking John MacQueen Sr., then 82, out of $157,702. Kohler was accused of skimming from work invoices, double and triple billing for work through his construction business and failing to repay a personal loan, according to an affidavit.
MacQueen had hired Kohler for construction work and later entered into a business venture with him. But when Kohler took over the company's books and didn't allow MacQueen to see them, MacQueen found an accountant to audit the financial records, according to the affidavit. That's when it became apparent Kohler was issued two extra paychecks, transferred money to his personal accounts and used company funds to pay personal bills.
Several other felony charges were dropped as a part of the agreement where Kohler pleaded guilty to theft between $1,000 and $20,000.
A $50,000 check was given to MacQueen at the sentencing as a part of the plea, the Weld County District Attorney's office said.


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UT president announces suggestions to save $490 million by 2023
AUSTIN — The University of Texas at Austin Committee on Business Productivity released its final report Tuesday of suggestions to improve UT's business operations and generate savings of about $490 million over the next decade that will go toward teaching and research.
But achieving that will require an overhaul, the report says.
The committee, formed by President Bill Powers and composed of 13 national business leaders, turned out "Smarter Systems for a Greater UT," which focuses on ways to streamline and improve administrative functions, commercialization of technology and use of assets.
To do that, and possibly save some money for a rainy day, the university will have to consolidate business and administrative functions so that some faculty members and academic departments coordinate teaching and research. Possible gain: $200 million over 10 years.
"I want to dispel any notion that this will be simple or easy," Powers said in prepared remarks. "Indeed, if successful we would be the first university in America to overhaul its operational models in all three areas under consideration. But little worth doing is easy, and if it were easy, it would have been done already. This will be a major effort. It won't happen overnight."
Other suggestions include licensing as many projects as possible and letting the private sector pick the ones that will succeed, and better leveraging university assets, like selling excess power ($92 million over 10 years) or outsourcing food or housing, as Texas A&M University did in 2012 ($240-$290 million).
Overseeing the task will be UT's vice president and chief financial officer, Kevin Hegarty.
Equating the university to a business, Powers said it's important for the UT community to remember the "academic nature" of their business.
"It is crucial that we direct more of our resources into our teaching and research," Powers said. "And we need to do that to foster a civil society, to bolster our understanding of the universe, to bolster our understanding of our place in that universe, to collaborate with fellow institutions across the world in building humanity's body of knowledge — then teaching our students about it, and about how they will create more of it."


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Yesterday we had an impromptu picnic at the park with Crooked Eyebrow and Beth. It was the first time our children had ever met, but within less than two seconds they were already buddies.
All six of them.
What happens in the time between that and, say, our age? It's a phenomenon to me, how kids can instantly run off playing and have the BestTimeEver when they've known each other all of ten minutes. And why don't we do that more as adults?
Oh, and yes. I didn't know I wasn't before, but I do feel better now that I got to be with my friends.
Photos by Beth & Crooked Eyebrow.