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Missouri City Burglary and Automobile Theft Task Force
Missouri City Burglary and Automobile Theft Task Force
3849 Cartwright Rd, Missouri City, TX 77459
The Missouri City BAT (Burglary Auto Theft) Unit is comprised of 2 Detectives and 2 Officers of the Missouri City Police Department who are committed to reducing auto theft and auto burglary in the city of Missouri City. The mission is to increase the quality of life for the citizens of Missouri City who reside in Fort Bend and Harris County through an overall reduction of automobile based crimes. Funded through ABTPA, the Auto Burglary and Theft Prevention Authority, we conduct investigations and operations aimed at the aggressive detection and apprehension of auto theft and auto burglary suspects.


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Farmers' markets to begin
FOSTORIA - The first Fostoria Farmers' Market is set for 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Saturday with a Mother's Day theme. The market is to set up at the downtown KeyBank, 133 W Tiffin St.
With Mothers' Day, approaching, a variety of gift ideas are to be available for moms of all ages. The vendors will have flowers and plants; jewelry, pottery, hand-woven and sewn items, including propane covers; fresh produce, homemade baked goods, jams, soaps; original artwork and photography; and items from Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Union Springs Wellness, Thirty-One and Scentsy. Also, home-grown canned beef, doggie treats, brooms, and flagpole sets will be offered.
In addition, raffle tickets will be available from members of the Fostoria Latino Fest committee and Tiffin St. Mary Church festival volunteers.
For more information, call Carol at (419) 435-1718.
Bridal show offered
ATTICA - "From This Day Forward" bridal show is to take place 12:30-3:30 p.m. Sunday in the entertainment building at the Attica Fairgrounds. Vendors are to set up in the 4,500-square-foot reception hall.
To learn more, call Cindy at (419) 937-7543.
Senior center serving chicken
Allen Eiry Center, 28 Hopewell Ave., is to serve a Sgt. Oinks chicken barbecue 4:30-7 p.m. May 9 at the center. The cost is $9 in advance or $11 at the door.
For more details, call (419) 448-9774.
Peace vigils in the works
FOSTORIA - Quad County Coalition for Sensible Regulation of Guns is to begin a series of "Second Friday" peace vigils, so named because the Newtown shootings happened on a second Friday.
The first vigil is to be at 4:30 p.m. May 10 at South Main and West Tiffin streets at the city building in Fostoria. The group may move to Risdon Square on Countyline Street on other occasions.
Self-publishing class on tap
FREMONT - For those who wish to publish a book, a travelogue of a memorable vacation or create a family cookbook using grandma's best recipes, the Hayes Presidential Center is offering a workshop this weekend.
"Make a Book" teaches how to use free online resources to self-publish a professional quality book in any quantity. The class takes place 9:30-11:30 a.m. Saturday in the Hayes Museum. Instructors Gilbert Gonzalez and Becky Hill explain the process of economically making a personalized book using Blurb.com.
Cost of the class is $10 for adults and $5 for students through high school.
Registration is required by calling (419) 332-2081, ext. 231.
Fused glass show coming
Elaine Bast, Jill Groves and Fran Jackson are the featured artists in a fused glass exhibition, "Three Artisans." The month-long exhibit is to open Saturday with a free reception and open house 4-6 p.m. at Tiffin Art Guild Gallery, 178 S. Washington St.
The trio is to be on hand to present their work and answer questions.
"Three Artisans" is to continue through May 31.
Gallery hours are 1-5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. For more information, call (419) 889-5828.
GED classes to begin
It is time to enroll in ABLE/GED Fast Track summer classes at Sentinel Career and Technology Center, 793 E. TR 201.
Classes, free to adults, are to begin 5:30 p.m. Wednesday and 12:30 p.m. May 15 in room 244 of the Family Learning Center at Sentinel.
Students are required to attend two classes per week June 3-Aug. 5. Morning classes are 9-11:30 a.m. and evening classes are 5:30-8 p.m. The official GED test is planned Aug. 6-7.
For more information, call (419) 448-5084.

subset: commoncrawl


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Meet George King Jr.
Age: 78
Education: Graduate Chandler High School, 1954; advertising and communicatio...
Meet George King Jr.
Age: 78
Education: Graduate Chandler High School, 1954; advertising and communications-related degree, Arizona State University, 1968; master�s degree in communications theory and film, University of Denver, June 1970
Family: Wife, Lynn; two daughters, Elizabeth Johnson, Glendale, Wis., and Jennifer Russell, Reston, Va.; two foster children, Laurel Taylor, Germantown, Md., and Francisco Velasco, Herndon, Va.; five grandchildren; five foster grandchildren
Hobbies: photography, genealogy, travel
Website: www.kingpastelart.com
Volunteerism: Chairperson for public relations, Springfield Art Association Edwards Place Fine Art Fair, 2006-09; member/founding committee, Lincoln Memorial Garden Art in the Garden; founder Illinois Prairie Pastel Society; member/board of directors, Prairie Art Alliance; member Springfield Art Association education committee; co-chair Prairie Art Alliance marketing and development committee; juror Old Capitol Art Fair 2009
Since pastel artist George King Jr. ended a 50-year, painting-related drought in 2003, his quest has been to learn as much as possible and to �paint, paint, paint,� he says.
In his journey, King has company with other pastel painters as founder in 2006 of the Illinois Prairie Pastel Society. The society initially had a membership of six and now has more than 40 people.
�We don�t go out and beat the bushes for members,� says King, the organization�s president. He also facilitates a pastel open studio session at the Springfield Art Association Monday mornings. �It�s grown because we believe we�re offering something for people who are interested in pastel painting, see the beauty in pastel painting, but also want to develop their skills and have workshops and show their work.
�I�m always interested in growing, discovering new things and new techniques and encouraging members of our organization to do the same.�
Largely self-taught, King�s current painting style is impressionism. He says he paints what he loves: �Tall Grass Prairie� area, where he now lives; France, which he visits often, and the American Southwest, where he was raised.
Favorite spot
King says his favorite �spot in the world� is Arizona, where he grew up and spent many years of his adulthood. Born in Dayton, Ohio, King left when he was 5 or 6, heading to Arizona for the benefit of his mother�s health.
King credits his stay-at-home mother, Virginia King, and his bookkeeper father, George King Sr. with fostering in him a recognition for volunteerism and that people are �all God�s children.�
King�s father volunteered as a firewatcher (for fires set by enemy bombs or saboteurs) during World War II and volunteered as an officer and member of the local Optimist Club. King�s mom and dad also volunteered to teach social dancing at the local youth center.
�I think what fostered the volunteering from my relationship with them was that they were very conscious of the needs of other people, relationships with other people,� King says. �They were very tolerant folks, and I grew up in a small community in Chandler, Ariz.�
When King was growing up in the 1950s, Chandler had a population of about 3,000 people with �all kinds of cultures and religious backgrounds.� He grew up with Hispanic-Americans, Mexican-Americans, African-Americans and American-Indians.
�We had Catholics and Mormons and Methodists and Baptists. We were quite an amalgamation,� says King, who was a high school student when a black high school in Phoenix was desegregated and kids formerly bused 23 miles from Chandler to Phoenix came to his high school.
�It was an enviable time because I don�t know any of my contemporaries who had such a group to grow up in, and that was in the �50s. ... It was a great time to be a kid but a greater time to be a kid among kids of all races, creeds and colors.�
Page 2 of 2 - Art drought
King has been a drawer �ever since� he can remember, but in his high school junior and senior years, his art became more formalized.
�We had just a fantastic art teacher. He could squeeze art out of a stump, I think. He was so good. He was really an inspiration,� King says.
King painted in watercolor and oil in high school and in college. But the 50-year painting drought began after he got a job in television his sophomore year in college. He left his art in a formal way, nurturing a career that shaped him into a public relations and marketing executive as well as university instructor in different locales including Arizona, California, Michigan, Washington, D.C., and Illinois until his retirement as public relations director for the Illinois Education Association in 2003.
�It always gnawed at me, �Why didn�t I pursue it?� � says King, who almost majored in art in college. When he retired, he vowed he would get back into art and �end the drought.�
Taking a watercolor class at the Springfield Art Association the year he retired ended King�s drought. Currently, he paints in pastels, but has been dabbling in oils.
Most of King�s volunteering since retirement has centered on the arts. He�s a board member of the Prairie Art Alliance and on the steering committee for Art in the Garden at Lincoln Memorial Garden.
Sue Scaife, membership/editor with the Illinois Prairie Pastel Society, says King has his fingers in �a lot of pots,� but that they all come back to something that�s artistic. His marketing skills help the organization to promote its work, but his mentoring ways offer encouragement to other artists, Scaife says.
�He has a real knack at selling anything,� she says. �He could encourage someone who�s never been interested in art to at least try it.
�He�s a cheerleader. He�s one of those guys who�s always wanting everyone to succeed. He does that by his gentle encouragement.
�He�s got a real fatherly quality that I think endears people who work with him because you feel that George genuinely cares about your artistic growth� Scaife adds, �and he wants you to succeed more than anybody else � sometimes even more than you want to.�
King�s hopes the arts reaches into the Springfield community.
�We�re trying to make it a town more accessible to the arts,� King says, �more interested in the arts, more stuff going on.�
Location, ST | website.com


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Saturday, September 7, 2013
State Farm agent Heather Bosse responded to the American Red Cross Heroes for Fire Victims Campaign appeal to support families who had lost everything in a home fire. Mount Pleasant Fire Chief Herb Williams, honorary chair of the campaign, presents Heather Bosse with a plague of appreciation for the family she supported.
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Systemwide Events Calendar
Passion in Paradise: Argentine Tango for EveryoneAugust 9, 6:00pm - 7:30pm
Manoa Campus, UHM Physical Education Complex Studio 3
Learn the fundamental elements of tango that will allow you to dance on the social dance floor. The course is meant for complete beginners or those who have some experience and want to practice or improve their basic Tango technique. Topics include the essence of leading and following, musicality, fundamental linear, rotational and traveling movements, leader and follower technique, social dance etiquette and moving around a crowded dance floor. No partner or previous experience is required. Wear clothing that is easy to move in and shoes that are tied or strapped on the feet with leather or slippery soles to facilitate ease of spinning and movement on the floor.
Each class is one and half hour long. A general course outline is given below. However, more material may be covered based on student ability.
Ticket Information
$105 (General), $95 (UHM student, staff) Register Online
Event Sponsor
UHM Outreach College, Manoa Campus
More Information
Jennifer Small Griswold, 831-239-6529, firstname.lastname@example.com, http://www.outreach.hawaii.edu/noncredit/courses/programdetail/2279
|Friday, August 9
|The Wellness Center - Fitness Class Schedule
Maui Campus, Pilina Bldg., Wellness Center
|Astronomy Final Oral
Manoa Campus, Institute for Astronomy Auditorium
|The end of business-as-usual? A perspective from the European Climate Foundation
Manoa Campus, Hamilton Library 3F
|Campus-wide Conversation for Staff
Manoa Campus, Kuykendall Auditorium
|Astronomy Final Oral
Manoa Campus, Institute of Astronomy Auditorium
|GES Senior Thesis Presentations
Manoa Campus, MSB 100
|Passion in Paradise: Argentine Tango for Everyone
Manoa Campus, UHM Physical Education Complex Studio 3
- Highlighted dates have scheduled events.
- Select the date to view all events for that day.


text:
Sources: New York Times, AnandTech
quote: What it really boils down to is that by using this single Tx chain, Apple is able to support a ton of LTE bands (more space for PAs and fewer transceiver ports used on SVLTE for CDMA networks) and also do it without making the iPhone very large. Moving to an architecture that works with SVDO and SVLTE would require an additional transmit path and antenna, and incur a size and weight penalty.
quote: Allowing simultaneous voice/data on Verizon/Sprint would have resulted in increasing the size of the phone.


text:
Top Definition
A person that cheers you up when you're down, stays by your side when the world leaves you, and do stupid crazy things with you. This person is your crying shoulder, your diary, and your comfort room.
May I have a picture with my closest friend? :)
yrame tərəfindən 09 Sentyabr 2012
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
Someone you is not your boyfriend or girlfriend but someone who lifts you up. They are probably more then a friend, but less than a boyfriend or girlfriend.
My closest friend asked if she could help me with my homework.
BlastGhost20115 tərəfindən 16 İyul 2016
Best friend
Out of 100 odd friends, Ramesh is closest friend of mine.
Rajesh Haldar tərəfindən 17 Aprel 2016


text:
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Price: £7.99Product ID: 114590
Add to wishlist
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The Algarde Under Gravel Filter will fit a 28x59cm size tank and works by water being drawn through the gravel as the primary filter media. It is important to filter your aquarium so that any waste products are removed to stop the fish tank from becoming contaminated.
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For orders with a total value below these amounts, delivery charges apply. For full details see our Delivery & Returns information
Please check your delivered goods carefully. You need to notify The Range of any queries within seven days from the day after your delivery by contacting our customer service team on email@example.com you will then receive a confirmation email and returns authorisation number (RAN) which you will need to add the details to the returns sections of your despatch note. Then simply ensure the item is safely packaged and return to the address on the despatch note.
Please note that when returning items, it is your responsibility to ensure that they are packed so as to avoid damage, as goods must be received by us in a re-saleable condition. No returns or exchanges will be accepted unless the goods are returned in their original condition and packaging. Postage will not be refunded for change of mind or goods returned without prior notification.


text: Spring is springing, y'all, and it's FINALLY time to start your seedlings for your Cleveland garden if you haven't already. You want to get things going as soon as possible so you can transplant and start enjoying your own home-grown produce; why waste any more money at the store, right? Whether you're gardening for the first time or entering your fiftieth year, the seed packets are a-callin'. See full article.


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Platform feeders are ideal for attracting ground feeders such as cardinals, doves, juncos, and jays. Hanging or post-mounted feeders attract birds that feed at branch level. Nectar feeders invite
orioles and hummingbirds.
Insect feeders attract robins, bluebirds, and purple martins. Hopper or open styles are better for larger birds.
Tube feeders are ideal for smaller birds like finches and chickadees.
Ports and Perches
Ports must be sized appropriately. Sunflower or mixed seeds won't fit through the smaller ports of finch feeders.
Offer multiple seed mixes in feeders with multiple seed tubes, and look for feeders with
adaptable ports so you can switch from mixed to thistle seed offerings.
Feeders with perches attract grackles, grosbeaks, chickadees, titmice, and other perching birds. Clinging birds, such as woodpeckers, finches, or nuthatches, prefer feeders without perches. To attract both varieties, look for feeders that feature removable or flip-up perches.
what to look for
Rust-resistant construction
UV resistant feed tubes
Squirrel resistant features
Solid, durable components
Price is a factor. Get the most for your money by weighing features, durability, and appearance against overall cost of the feeder.
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Although the state has discontinued tracking bald eagles, a few people in Seneca, Sandusky and Wyandot counties have continued logging information to make sure eagles don't lose ground.
"We know they've made their comeback, but it's nice to know they're continuing to do well," said Linda Rose of Seneca County Park District, who is working with Debbie Haubert of Sandusky County Park District to watch nests.
And Wyandot County Commissioner Steve Seitz is keeping track in his county.
Rose and Haubert collect information from anyone who volunteers to watch nests and record it.
"We've got 10 in (Seneca) County, maybe 11," Rose said. One has not been verified.
"And Sandusky County has 33 nests at this point," she said. Sandusky and Ottawa counties have the largest numbers of nests.
"We know that Ottawa County is real close (in numbers) to Sandusky County, but we have no firm numbers this year so far," Rose said.
Seitz said Wyandot County has 12 nests he knows about.
"I hear rumors of other nests, but those are the ones I found," he said. "We have more nests than any of the other inland counties."
Seitz said 62 of Ohio's 88 counties now have eagle nests, but he doesn't know if they are all in use.
Nobody is known to be collecting information on nests in Hancock County as a whole, but there is one near one of Fostoria's reservoirs.
Ron Minard, a longtime eagle watcher in the Fostoria area, said the Hancock County nest near the Fostoria reservoir hatched an eaglet, but the young bird is no longer there.
"Something happened to it, but I'm not sure what," he said.
He said the breeding pair at the Findlay nest, which he also watches, also was on eggs.
Nine out of 10 nests in Seneca County were incubating or brooding eaglets this year.
"There's just one that we haven't been able to get a good hold on yet," Rose said.
The nest of unknown status is in Eden Township, along with two other Eden nests.
Others in Seneca County are located mainly along the Sandusky River and its tributaries.
Pleasant Township also has three nests, while Hopewell, Scipio, Seneca and Bloom townships each have one.
"They kind of run down the middle of the county where the main waterways are," Rose said.
In Wyandot County, Seitz said 10 of the 12 usually active nests were active this year.
"I know one of our nests has failed," he said. "But the rest were either hatched or close to hatching."
The nests closest to Seneca County are two near SR 53 along the river and Tymochtee Creek not far from McCutchenville.
One is near Sycamore, and Seitz also watched one just inside Crawford County near Sycamore.
"That's a brand-new nest," he said. The former nest blew down last year.
Another is near Indian Mill on private land, and two are near Nevada. The Rebers Bottoms nest remains active along the river, and he said there are four nests in Killdeer Plains State Wildlife Area, but only two are active that he knows of. Another nest is on Tymochtee Creek near Upper Sandusky.
"I started watching eagles when I was 9 years old," Seitz said. "I never dreamed I would see 12 of them in my county."


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January 27, 2013, 07:52 PM
While doing some research on the federalists papers influence on the 2nd amendment I ran across the following site. It provides what I think is a great explanation of the 2nd amendment and provides links to other strong pro arguments. I am surprised that I had not run across this group before.


text:
Dezeen and MINI World Tour: in our next movie from Miami, show director Marianne Goebl discusses the trends that emerged from Design Miami 2013, including a renewed focus on female designers such as Charlotte Perriand and Maria Pergay. More »
Tag: Design Miami 2013
2013 was "a year of seminal women
Chair shaped like the tail of a peacock
by UUfie
Design Miami 2013: this chair shaped like the fanned tail of a peacock by Toronto design studio UUfie was one of the most talked-about pieces at the Design Miami collectors' fair last month. More »
OMA and Foster to work alongside
Hollywood duo on Miami Beach
Design Miami 2013: architects OMA and Foster + Partners will work alongside Hollywood power-couple Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin to create a new ocean-side cultural quarter at Miami Beach in Florida, it was unveiled during Design Miami earlier this month (+ slideshow). More »
Designer 3D-prints shoes representing
12 of his lovers
Design Miami 2013: artist and designer Sebastian Errazuriz used twelve of his former flames as the inspiration for these 3D-printed shoes, presented at a pop-up shop that opened to coincide with Design Miami. More »
Jacques Herzog: The Pérez Art
Museum "is a naked structure"
Dezeen and MINI World Tour: Jacques Herzog of Herzog & de Meuron explains how the Pérez Art Museum Miami was designed so that everything is visible and there is no strict barrier between inside and outside, in our second movie from Miami. More »
Herzog & de Meuron is "deconstructing
stupid architecture" in Miami
Dezeen and MINI World Tour: in our first movie from Miami, Jacques Herzog of Herzog & de Meuron claims the Swiss architecture studio is trying to create a "new vernacular for Miami" that eschews sealed, air-conditioned buildings in favour of more "transparent or permeable" structures. More »
High-tech lighting installation by Simon Heijdens
creates "3D drawings in water"
Design Miami 2013: designer Simon Heijdens has created a series of hand-blown glass vessels that turn data from wind movement into projected patterns of light, installed at Design Miami this week (+ slideshow + interview). More »
Juergen Mayer H exhibits stone sculpture
based on data-protection patterns in Miami
Design Miami 2013: German architect Juergen Mayer H is exhibiting a sculpture derived from the patterns used on the inside of envelopes to obscure personal information at Art Basel Miami Beach (+ slideshow). More »
Louis Vuitton realises unbuilt Charlotte Perriand
beach house in Miami
Design Miami 2013: a previously unrealised beach house designed by modernist architect Charlotte Perriand in 1934 has been constructed and furnished by French fashion house Louis Vuitton to coincide with this year's Design Miami fair (+ slideshow). More »
Daniel Widrig creates wearable sculptures
based on a 3D scan of the body
Design Miami 2013: London architect Daniel Widrig is presenting a collection of 3D-printed wearable sculptures during Design Miami this week, including one that looks like an exoskeleton. More »
Foster unveils extension plans for
Florida's Norton Museum of Art
Design Miami 2013: architect Norman Foster plans to add a row of stone pavilions to the Norton Museum of Art in Florida as part of a major overhaul that will double the building's gallery space, and he unveiled the designs yesterday during the opening of the Art Basel Miami Beach and Design Miami fairs. More »
A pile of sand marks the
entrance to Design Miami
Design Miami 2013: giant mound of sand appears to support an aluminium roof at New York studio Formlessfinder's Tent Pile installation outside this year's Design Miami fair, which opens to the public today (+ slideshow). More »
Herzog & de Meuron's Pérez Art Museum
creates new "vernacular" for Miami
Design Miami 2013: here's a preview of the nearly completed Pérez Art Museum Miami by Swiss architects Herzog & de Meuron, which opens tomorrow to coincide with the Design Miami and Art Basel Miami Beach collectors' fairs, and which suggests a new "kind of vernacular" for the city according to Jacques Herzog (+ slideshow + photography is by Iwan Baan). More »
Design+World event at Luminaire Lab
during Design Miami
Dezeen promotion: design brand Luminaire is presenting work by designers Tokujin Yoshioka, Patricia Urquiola and Daniel Widrig at an event in its exhibition space this Thursday evening, to coincide with Design Miami. More »
Ross Lovegrove designs 3D-printed
gold jewellery
Design Miami 2013: designer Ross Lovegrove will present a series of 3D-printed 18 carat gold rings at Design Miami next week. More »
Phaidon art and design books
to be stocked at Luminaire Lab
Dezeen promotion: design brand Luminaire will stock art and design titles published by Phaidon at its showroom in Miami, beginning in December to coincide with Design Miami collectors' fair. More »
Flow(t) glassware by Nao Tamura
at Luminaire Lab
Dezeen promotion: a chandelier of glass pendants that resemble fishing floats by designer Nao Tamura will be displayed at design brand Luminaire's exhibition space to coincide with Design Miami next month. More »
Drawing Glass by Fabrica
at Luminaire Lab
Dezeen promotion: a range of delicate glass objects by Italian research centre Fabrica will be on show at the exhibition space of design brand Luminaire during Design Miami 2013 next month. More »
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text:
MIFFLINTOWN - The planters are back on the sidewalks of Mifflintown.
Twenty flower pots, hand-painted with original designs reflecting the theme of "New Life," have been planted with summer blooms and placed along Main, Bridge and Lemon streets on display until they are taken to the Juniata County Fair in September for auction. Sealed bids will be closed at 6 p.m. on Sept. 7. Proceeds will benefit Mifflintown Crossroads Pregnancy Center.
This year's Planter Palooza winners were:
Article Photos
Sentinel photos by TIM SHUMAKER
The 2013 Planter Palooza winners are, from left, Ann Kroh, first place planter, 'Metamorphosis of Luna Moth;' Linda Geissinger, second place, 'Something To Crow About;' Adrienne Alderfer, third place, 'Heirs of Beauty;' student planters first place, Brianna Kearns and Molly Stumpff, 'The Purple of Life;' Mackenzie Bressler, second place, 'A Bug's Life;' and Tuscarora Valley Elementary School, third place, 'Metamorphosis.'
Participants in the Planter Palooza included, from left, front, Ann Kroh, Linda Geissinger, Adrienne Alderfer, Brianna Kearns, Molly Stumpff and Mackenzie Bressler; back, Connie Bowsman, James Gichner, Steven Kochenderfer, Donnie Martin, Aimee Hubley and Aidan Hubley. Brianna Graybill, Charlotte Graybill, Kathy Crownover, Misty Hoover, Rohini Stalker, Samantha Peterson, Juniata Arts Festival, Tuscarora Valley Elementary School and the fifth grade at Mountain View Elementary School were also participants.
First place planter - Ann Kroh, New Bloomfield, "Metamorphosis of Luna Moth"
Second place planter - Linda Geissinger, Mifflintown, "Something to Crow About"
Third place planter -Adrienne Alderfer, McAlisterville, "Heirs of Beauty"
First place student planter - Brianna Kearns, McClure, and Molly Stumpff, Belleville, "The Puzzle of Life"
Second place student planter - Mackenzie Bressler, Milroy, "A Bug's Life"
Third place student planter -Tuscarora Valley Elementary School, "Metamorphosis."
Other winning artists included: Aidan Hubley, Aimee Hubley, Brianna Graybill, Charlotte Graybill, Connie Bowsman, Donnie Martin, James Gichner, Juniata Arts Festival, Kathy Crownover, Misty Hoover, Rohini Stalker, Samantha Peterson, Steven Kochenderfer and Fifth Grade Mountain View Elementary School.
The Juniata Cultural Arts Committee and Hunter's Run Nursery are the sponsors of Planter Palooza, which is meant to draw together the community and businesses through the arts.


text:
Top Definition
noun:Vagina.The act of wanting or having sexual intercourse with female genitalia. Male to female or female to female - never male to male. Also see pussy, snatch, or pie.
John's not answering his cell phone because got up in some gunn ga after the club last night.
Smores BYFによって 2008年07月22日(火)
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?


text:
Tax increases continue, but still no budget passed
April 6, 2013
Editor: The U.S. Senate wants an income tax increase, in order for the Senate to do their constitutional duty by passing and implementing a federal budget....
Obama has NO clue 'how' to write a budget.
2 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
What...I see you're STILL pushing the Obama lies. Hilarious you liberals are. Thanks for the laugh .... again! You never disappoint. LOLOLOL.
2 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
TAX INCREASES are democrats FAVORITE topic. They dream of taxing citizens on EVERYTHING and under Obama's reign; that's exactly what we're getting. And Joe Manchin has NO problem with Obama's tax and spend agenda.
3 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Bwahaha...careful What....your utter stupidity and hypocrosy is showing. Making 'excuses' for your worthless inept Obama and democrats doesn't help your attempt to defend their uselessness. LOLOLOLOL
Under Bush...WHAT hypocritically STATED like ALL mentally incompetent lying liberals, that the PRESIDENT COULD lower gas prices. NOW that OBAMA the idiot is in office, the HYPOCRITE and LYING liberals have a DIFFERENT opinion...........(according to whose in office).
Liberalism: A mental disorder that makes one LIE, LIE, LIE and lie. Your credibility just flew out the window........or do you even 'deceive' and lie to yourself What????? LOL. You wonder why the majority are LEAVING the party of LIES? You just showed us. You are not credible when you defend one and condemn another for exactly the same thing. You're totally inept and stupid. And stupid you'll stay...all your life. Sad. Your choice. Your life must really suck.
3 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Democrat party NEVER saw a tax or an opportunity to tax that they didn't like.
I notice all the lefties keep "ignoring" the higher gas prices; but when they reached under two dollars a gallon when Bush was president; they went berserk. HYPOCRITES abide in democrat party.
3 Agrees | 1 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
What do you expect from radical socialist democrats? If you want real results and jobs and economic prosperity for those WILLING to work; vote the incomptent liberals out of office and watch what happens. Of course there's a few in here who don't want to WORK but want prosperity. They're useless to society.
3 Agrees | 2 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
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on November 12, 2012 - 11:42 PM
Was there any doubt that after a record-setting weekend that Niagara junior Casen Chubak would earn Atlantic Hockey Association Goalie of the Week yet again?
Of course not.
Chubak earned the honor for the third week in a row, after leading the Purple Eagles to a weekend sweep at Army. Chubak posted his nation leading fourth shutout of the season last Friday in a 5-0 win over the Black Knights, making 27 saves. In that win, he became the first Niagara goalie to record a shutout in three consecutive games. That was also his fourth shutout in as many starts (he relieved Cody Campbell and yielded one goal during a 4-4 tie at Clarkson on Oct. 27). Chubak also set the Niagara record for consecutive shutout minutes, a string that ended at 258 minutes, 32 seconds during last Saturday's 4-1 win at Army when the Black Knights scored with under seven minutes left in the game. That goal snapped a string of a 116 straight saves that began during a 3-0 win over UConn on Nov. 2.
Chubak (6-1-3) leads the nation in save percentage (.966), goals-against average (1.09) and his .750 winning percentage ranks ninth. Niagara visits local rival Canisius on Friday night at 7 at Buffalo State Ice Arena.


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Note: Please bring your laptop!
Until recently, front-end tooling for JavaScript web applications has played second fiddle to the server-side. Now, we're witnessing an explosion of great tools to keep you productive and happy while you create rich front end apps for the web. This session will serve as a brief survey of the sorts of front-end workflow tools that are emerging and a deep dive into one in particular, called Lineman ( http://linemanjs.com ).
Lineman is a framework-agnostic npm module that's chock-full of conventions and sensible default configurations for a bevy of webapp-focused Grunt tasks. Its objective is to help you get new projects up-and-running immediately, while also providing tremendous extensibly as the peculiarities of your application emerge with its growth.
Over the course of the session, we'll work through Lineman's features—from CoffeeScript & Less/Sass compilation to managing templates to heroku deployment. More importantly, we'll explain how it all works in conjunction with Grunt, and how you can start putting both tools to wrangle your own apps' productivity and deployment stories.
The workshop will be held in Metropolitan Hotel.
The time has come for the traditional Web/Desktop developer to branch out and start learning mobile. Trends are suggesting that the demand for mobile apps on iOS are rising and with iOS 7 bring a new UI and new opportunities.
This workshop is designed for the .NET developer, but anyone is welcome that is interested in developing apps for iOS, but doesn't know where to start. We will explain iOS 7 development with terms and tools a .NET developer is already used to. We will build several iOS 7 applications live and walk you step-by-step through the entire process. By the end of this workshop, you will be equipped with the knowledge to begin building your first iOS app.
It is highly recommended that you bring your own Mac with XCode 5 installed. However, if you don't have a Mac, we will have a limited number available.
The workshop will be held in Metropolitan Hotel.
Note: Please, bring your laptop.
There are a lot of new technologies being released these days and one of the major difficulties is to integrate them. In this one-day workshop we will build a distributed application end-to-end including various clients, HTTP services, and cloud hosting.
This day will not focus on any specific technology, but rather demonstrate the development and integration process with Windows Phone 8, Windows 8 XAML/C#, and Web-based clients, ASP.NET Web API and Entity Framework on the server, and Windows Azure as the cloud hosting environment.
The workshop will be held in Metropolitan Hotel.
Note: This is a bring your own laptop kind of workshop. You need to have Visual Studio 2012/2013 installed on your machines.
Most web technologies developed in the past had only one purpose: to offer the users a great experience, mimicking the one you normally get from desktop applications. One way of developing those kind of applications that emerged last year is Single Page Application where everything fits in more or less on one single web page.
In this workshop we will develop a SPA from scratch using technologies like ASP.NET Web.Api, Breeze.js, Knockout.js, Durandal.js, and Require.js. The resulting application will be yours to take home and to continue work with it, and learn from it.
For best experience the speaker recommends that you bring your own computer with Visual Studio 2012 installed on it, so you can tag along.
Please note that seats are limited!
Note: Please bring your own laptop. You need to have Visual Studio 2012 and Windows 8 installed on your machine (it can be in a virtual machine or on the metal). We'll make a limited number of machines available.
This includes choosing the right project template, building the UI, interacting with remote services, and integrating with the Windows 8 operating system through charms and other WinRT API services.
By the end of the day you'll have a good understanding of WinRT development and everything the Windows 8 platform has to offer.
Please note that seats are limited!
Note: Please bring your own laptop with Windows 7 or 8, latest version of Visual Studio, NUnit and Telerik JustMock installed. We'll provide some machines on site. In this hands-on workshop, Steve will review some of the basics of object-oriented software engineering using C#. You'll learn about the SOLID principles of OOP, and how to apply them to produce higher quality software. You'll learn about key metrics and code "smells" to watch, and how to refactor your code to improve its quality. You'll learn the difference between unit tests and other kinds of tests, and how to write testable code.
Finally, you'l learn the basics of dependency injection and using mock objects to work around infrastructure dependencies from within your unit tests.
This full day workshop will use C#, ASP.NET MVC, NUnit, StructureMap, and Telerik JustMock (free), as well as a variety of other tools.
Opening by Todd Anglin
Keynote by Stephen Forte
In this session we will start at the beginning and learn all about Web API and what it has to offer. The good news is that if you have used ASP.Net MVC then using Web API will be comfortable to you. This session will be an interactive demo session so we will be spending the majority of our time inside Visual Studio getting our hands dirty learning about many of the features of Web API. Some of these features include its hosting options, what actions are and how to use them as well as how routing plays a critical role in building endpoints.
Finally, Derik will give a demo on how to call a web API endpoint from Silverlight, along with jQuery.
Before our eyes, the practice of polyfilling is evolving from an HTML5 adoption technique to a full-blown design pattern that allows developers to "spackle" their browsers with whatever semantics they wish. AngularJS encourages this practice by enabling developers to use directives to add custom HTML tags and components to their applications.
Then there's the Web Components project, a set of W3C specifications designed to make the creation of custom semantics and components a feature of the browser. It's a powerful idea that could unlock a new set of browser capabilities, while adding new depth and richness to our applications.
In this session, Brandon will provide an overview of the Web Components technologies, demonstrate how these features work together, and show how developers can start experimenting with components right away.
Dependency Injection is one of those terms that advanced programmers throw out with an expectation and assumption of full understanding on the part of the receiver. However, I constantly get asked by attendees, students, and clients to please recommend a good DI product and show them how to use it; and when I proceed to start talking about the subject, it becomes immediately apparent that many don't even know what they're asking about.
It's easy to get infatuated by a cool buzz phrase, specially when you hear so many others using it. But to truly understand something you need to start by understanding the problem spaces that it is trying to solve. It's important to learn the concepts behind DI so you can write software that can be properly tested. So let's bring you totally up to speed then.
In this session, I'll explain dependency injection from concept to implementation, and use raw code samples to show you how it works and what problems it solves. I'll demonstrate how writing abstracted code can help you test your applications much better, whether or not use a DI container. Then I'll get into what a DI container is and some of the characteristics of the ones that are out there, including MEF. I'll finish by showing you implementation examples in three different platforms.
There are so many languages a developer could use today. Yet some developers still use C++. Some developers are learning C++ when they already know C# and other younger languages. This session will show you why that is happening, and why you might want to learn the new C++ yourself. It's nothing like the C++ you remember, and it can be a very useful language for you to know.
Once a software is released, the Engineering team is not going to have a rest. The Application Maintenance starts, which is often harder to manage than the Product Development, for various reasons like lack of communication between the Engineering and the Systems Administration team, missing information, etc. Doing it 'the Agile way' improves results by enabling the often missing piece between Engineering and Operations: communication.
In this session we are going to cover how to monitor, gather information, react and fix a production issue with Visual Studio ALM 2013 and its integration with System Center.
One of the things I've always said about WPF is that there is nothing I can't do in an application. When Microsoft set out to design WPF, Silverlight, and now WinRT XAML Apps, they architected it in a way that if you come across anything that they didn't think of, you can extend the platform yourself.
In this session I'll show you how to develop value converters, two types of behaviors, and your own markup extensions. Behaviors are elements that you set to something in order to add characteristics and functionality to XAML, while markup extensions are what you set properties to. The {Binding} markup extension is one that Microsoft provided for you, now come learn how to write your own, and then some.
This session will explain the benefit of using the cloud in Mobile solutions. A Demonstration of the Azure Mobile Services live and an introduction to other Cloud services like Amazon and Everlive to benefit native mobile development and Responsive Design.
Windows Azure is jam packed with features to choose from for building web applications and services that scale – but there are a core set of choices and features that are applicable to most scenarios. This session will get you up to speed on the essential features developers should be aware of, and how to apply them in practical scenarios. You'll learn how to choose between web sites and cloud services, and learn other practical tips for building Azure apps such as storing content, sending email, working with queues and choosing the right technology, and collecting important metrics for visibility into application health.
In a perfect world, we would write code once and run it everywhere. Well this is not a perfect world, but we are getting closer. Windows 8 and Windows Phone 8 both run on XAML and C#, and allow reusing tools, skills and a fair percentage of code. In this session, Laurent Bugnion, the creator of the MVVM Light Toolkit and an expert in XAML development, will present ways to share code (such as using the Portable Class Libraries) and how to structure your applications to minimize the amount of non-reusable code. We will also leverage modern development tools (Visual Studio, unit testing, Expression Blend) to see how we can adapt our skills and build apps for multiple platforms.
.NET 4 has brought us the DLR and C# 4 has brought us the dynamic keyword. With their powers combined, C# suddenly gets super powers! In addition, Microsoft has been working on a crazy not-very-little project named "Roslyn" that multiplies these powers! In this session Shay Friedman will show you surprising and practical things you can do with C#, the dynamic keyword, and Roslyn. You don't wanna miss that!
Take the next step in your Windows Store application development journey. In this session, we will cover some of the more advanced topics that you may encounter while developing your application.
First we'll learn about Live Tiles, badges and notifications, as well as how to give users the ability to create secondary tiles based on content in your application. Next we'll show you how to open your application up to new markets using Globalization and the Multilingual App Toolkit.
We will conclude the session reviewing a couple topics related security where we will show you how to protect locally stored data using cryptography and how to store and retrieve user credentials using the Password Vault.
Everyone seems to be talking about Responsive Web Design lately. Popular sites such as Mashable have declared 2013 the year of responsive web design even though RWD is relatively new, being only a few years old. In this session, we'll cover what RWD is and the problems it is trying to solve. We'll look at some templates and frameworks intended to make it easier to get started. Finally, we'll look at Edge Reflow, a tool recently released as a preview by Adobe that helps you lay out responsive designs visually.
One of the coolest and most exciting things to come out of Microsoft Research in recent years is The Kinect. Originally shipped for the XBOX the Kinect is also available for Windows. And it even has a powerful and use to use SDK and API for .NET. Currently in Version 1.7, it is a programming toolkit that enables NET application developers to build software that is driven by gesture and/or voice.
This session is an intro session to building (Natural User Interface) NUI solutions that will get you over the learning curve and well on your way to building gesture and audio based interfaces.
This session will also focus on the design of NUI applications which have to pay particular emphasis on usability and user experience.
The session was designed to show you real and futuristic application suites based in NUI whose services and structured storage are aggregated in the cloud and emphasize how they are architected built. And to get you over the learning curve of getting started in building voice and gesture based user experiences.
Most developers know how to use Visual Studio to do the basics of being a developer. You can create a solution, add projects to it, edit code, and run it. Easy, right? In this session, I want to show you how to be a better developer by using parts of Visual Studio you might not know about. Save hours of debugging time, move around your code more smoothly and don't lose your place, see what you want to see and find what you need to find.
Demos will be in C# with Visual Studio 2012.
Blocking is a common problem in SQL Server databases. There are some well-known recommendations for resolving blocking issues, and one of them is switching to Optimistic Concurrency model. Is it really a solution, when to consider it, how to implement and what to be aware of. The session explains everything you need to know about Optimistic Concurrency in order to make an informed and optimal decision for your solution.
HTML5 includes a Canvas element that allows for dynamic, scriptable rendering of 2D shapes and bitmap images. Using this, web developers can draw images directly in their web pages with JavaScript, enabling applications such as games, mapping, and data visualization to offload the rendering to the client. One problem with the Canvas, though, is that the rendered image is just that: an image. The user is unable to interact with any of the shapes that are drawn to the Canvas.
However, an open source library called Kinetic bridges that gap, allowing shapes or images to be drawn using the existing Canvas API, event listeners attached to them, and manipulated individually using mouse or touch (i.e., move, scale, and rotate). This session will introduce how to use the Canvas API and Kinetic.js in a desktop or mobile web application.
Browser testing is the bane of all web developers. Thankfully, things have improved dramatically and there are great new tools and techniques to help smooth the process.
In this session, Rey will provide real-world tips from the things he has learned helping ensure Internet Explorer compatibility for some of the world's biggest sites as well as show you how to:
- Evaluate web standards
- Take advantage of browser testing services like BrowserStack.com for multi-browser virtualized testing
- Leverage Modern.IE for pinpointing common compatibility issues
There are many tools to follow your application while you're developing in Visual Studio, but what happens when you release your application? This talk shows you how to track production applications on desktops on servers. If you're already tracing, this talk illustrates the massive evolution in the last few years. If you're not tracing now, this talk shows how simple and valuable it is. Modern tracing is built on Event Tracing for Windows which is a blazingly fast strongly typed tracing tool built into Microsoft operating systems. A huge number of events are already provided by the operating system and .NET about your running application. Tools like PerfView let you tap into this treasure trove, the .NET 4.5 EventSource class makes it easy to augment this stream and the Semantic Logging Application Block (SLAB) makes the tracing system friendlier to .NET developers. You'll see how to validate your tracing code and create different type of output streams. You'll also see how to alter trace filters and turn tracing on and off without restarting your application. This fast paced talk will give you a pragmatic strategy to know what your production code is doing. You'll leave surprised at how simple and fast modern tracing is.
If you have not been paying attention JavaScript has pretty much won the war of 'write once, run anywhere' as it can now run on both the client and server side. And if you're like most people who are new to JavaScript, it can seem scary and intimidating to try to pick up.
This is where Typescript comes in. TypeScript is a typed superset of JavaScript that compiles to plain JavaScript. Typescript tries to make sense of some of JavaScript's language 'issues' (aka wth does that syntax mean).
In this session we will focus on how to go from 0 to 60 in JavaScript in no time flat all because of the awesomeness that is Typescript. By the end of this interactive session you should be hooked on JavaScript , I mean Typescript, and the fear and intimidation of learning JavaScript should be gone.
What happens when an expert .NET programmer dives into Haskell? Find out while you bust out of your own shell of procedural thinking. Breaking out of that shell and considering functional approaches makes you a better programmer because it encourages you to view problems from new perspectives. Haskell is a great for this because it's pure, fast and standards based. Pure means a lack of side effects and this is one of the main challenges of switching to a functional approach. Haskell's purity means you can't cheat and it provides interesting solutions to common problems – such as using monads for IO. Haskell also relies on a powerful type system with clear declarations which makes it easier to initially understand how the code works. You'll then see the compiler infer the declarations and allow them to be removed to simplify the final code. You'll learn about features like purity, monads, lazy evaluation, pattern matching and typing. Functional concepts are popping up in procedural languages. The talk will close by briefly mapping a few functional concepts to C#. You can use these concepts to expand approaches in your favorite procedural language, or perhaps, you'll fall in love with Haskell and functional programming.
Single Page Applications (SPAs) are all the rage now days but if you've built a true SPA you know that they can be fairly involved to create. There are typically a lot of moving parts and scripts ranging from history, to navigation, client-side templates, to data access.
Have you thought through maintenance of the application down the road and how simple or complex it will be to make modifications as custom and framework scripts change?
In this session Dan Wahlin will introduce a new SPA framework called AngularJS that provides a solid base for building SPA applications. If you like to work with views, controllers, modules, plus tie into existing framework features without having to focus on all of the scripts under the cover then this is definitely a framework to check out!"
Join Tim Huckaby in a discussion of the lessons learned in 5+ years of putting interactive software kiosk systems into production. All the bad; all the good; and the tools, tips and tricks learned along the way that will help you in designing great natural interactive usability into your own software.
Way back in 2007, Microsoft shipped Windows Vista which was touch capable, but not touch usable. With Windows 7, Microsoft introduced NUI capabilities like Multi-touch native to the OS. Windows 8 is designed for touch. Hardware vendors are now shipping large form factor multi-touch capable HD monitors with native Windows 7 drivers at a consumer price point. Couple that with other form factors including mobile form factors where multi-touch is the norm and the power of WPF and Silverlight then you have a compelling low cost high fidelity hardware and software solution that is revolutionizing the industry. This session will also update you on the types of multi-touch capable devices available right now and those coming in the immediate future.
And what is now capable with .NET and WinRT in the multi-touch kiosk and interactive digital signage space.
But, frequently touch capability is not possible or just doesn't make sense. In many airports, for instance, you do not want to touch anything. It's just not safe. Bacteria (and other pathogens) live on touch screens in public places and are a real threat. In sterile environments like a hospital touch is legally not possible either. That is where gesture and voice controlled software comes into play nicely. With Microsoft Kinect (and other 3D cameras) innovation solutions are not only possible, but ultra-cool…and come with their own usability issues.
This demo-heavy session was designed to show you a number of real kiosk and interactive digital signage solutions and how they were built and all the usability problems they evolved through.
HTTP is by far the most common application layer protocol in the world. You have been using it in your applications for as long as you can remember.
But do you know how it really works? Have you ever wondered what is that "persisted-connection: keep-alive" thingy you keep seeing in fiddler? How HTTP caches really work? What the heck is HTTP Chunked transfer and what is it good for?
In this session we will take a look at some of HTTP's hidden gems and see how we can unleash them to enhance our HTTP based applications.
Michael Feathers defines Legacy Code as any code that doesn't have automated tests, and you agree that automated tests are an important facet of successful software development.
Then it happens – you get your next assignment, and it's your worst nightmare! You have to maintain and enhance a large application that has no tests in place, and there are parts that are just plain scary. Where do you start? Traditional Test Driven Development techniques don't typically work, since they focus on an inside-out development paradigm.
Phil will show you the patterns and practices that will help you turn the scary big ball of mud into a tested code base.
The new Microsoft Design Language (formerly known as Metro) has taken the tech world by surprise. It brings a refreshing change from hyper realistic design, and offers a welcomed alternative to the other mobile platforms.
From Zune and then Windows Phone, the Microsoft Design Language is now used on a number of platforms and devices, notably on Windows 8 apps.
In this session, we will see how we can practically convert the five design principles and put them to work, by studying real life applications and understanding how they were applied.
Fiddler is the world's most popular web debugging tool, used by developers, testers, and other web technologists worldwide. In this talk, Eric will show how to fully exploit Fiddler to debug traffic from client applications, devices, and web services.
You'll cover the latest enhancements to Fiddler to enable debugging on Windows 8's new application platform, and how to debug mobile applications running on non-Windows platforms. You'll look at Fiddler's new support for HTML5 WebSockets, and explore how Fiddler can be combined with other tools and technologies to enable comprehensive testing of sites and applications. You'll go beyond passive traffic monitoring to show how Fiddler can be used to modify and even generate web traffic to simulate clients or servers not yet built. You'll end with an exploration of existing extensions that greatly expand Fiddler's power, and how developers can easily extend Fiddler to meet their own specific needs.
"Oh my God! What did I do?" Chances are you have heard, or even uttered, this expression. This demo-oriented session will show many examples where database professionals were dumbfounded by their own mistakes, and could even bring back memories of your own early DBA days.
The goal of this session is to expose the small details that can be dangerous to the production environment and SQL Server as a whole, as well as talk about worst practices and how to avoid them. Shedding light on some of these perils and the tricks to avoid them may even save your current job.
After attending this session, Developers will only need 60 seconds to improve performance of their database server in their SharePoint implementation. We will have a quiz during the session to keep the conversation alive. Developers will walk out with scripts and knowledge that can be applied to their servers, immediately post the session. Additionally all attendees of the session will have access to learning material presented in the session.
Everybody's doing it – having developers test their code with developer testing frameworks like MSTest and NUnit. But like all frameworks, sometimes you need that little bit extra. What we need is a testing meta-framework: a tool that will let us write and customize a testing framework that is specifically tailored to our project.
In this session we will tell the tale of Company C, a successful ISV that found itself surrounded by heaps and heaps of evil technical debt. We will discuss some of the problems that Company C encountered and how a custom testing framework fairy helped in overcoming them. We will see the code for this framework and learn about Gallio, an open-source project for conjuring up testing frameworks. Attendees will learn the basic concepts of Gallio and how to apply them to their own projects.
The number of people using their smartphones or tablets to access the web has grown to the point where having a presence on these devices has become a must for anyone with a website. But to be truly successful your mobile presence has to differentiate itself from the mobile web entirely and straddle that line between web and native application. In the past this meant having specific styles and often views for each specific mobile platform you wanted to target, but this is no longer necessary thanks to HTML5 and some very slick JavaScript frameworks.
In this talk Keith will demonstrate how using HTML5 and frameworks such as Kendo UI products PhoneGap and Icenium you can write one application with a single set of styles and views that looks truly native on iOS, Android, and Blackberry. Keith will walk through creating a mobile application from start to finish including how to use PhoneGap and Icenium to package and deploy your web application to the major mobile application stores.
In this session you will be introduced to mobile development using Icenium, Telerik's cross-platform mobile development IDE.
Topics discussed will include: how to leverage your existing web-development skills to build mobile apps, using the Windows and web-based Icenium IDEs, Icenium's cloud services, using phone features, testing, debugging, and deploying to the app stores.
Knave Blackjack is a Windows Store app written by Jason Follas using HTML/JavaScript that is currently for sale in the Windows App Store.
This session will tell the story of how the game came to be, starting with a challenge issued by a Microsoft Developer Evangelist, through the weeks of development, followed by many repeated failures during the certification process, and finally what happened after the application was listed in the store.
Hear Jason tell of the many lessons learned along the way, and tips for making the process of writing your own apps more efficient.
You have invested countless hours mastering MVVM in XAML, in fact you might even consider yourself a XAML Ninja. Sadly, XAML is so last year. HTML/JavaScript/Jquery is now the new 'IT Technology Stack'. Fear not because all your Ninja skills are not lost because KnockoutJs is a killer MVVM library for HTML/JavaScript.
In this session we are going to learn how to transfer your XAML Ninja skills to the wonderful world of KnockoutJs. This session will be done in the 'hey, in XAML it works this way and in Knockout it works that way' format. By the end of this lesson you should feel comfortable with making the leap from XAML to HTML.
As developers, most of our time is spent working on existing software. Sure, occasionally we get the chance to fire up a new Solution in Visual Studio, and that can be exciting. But after the first day, we find ourselves once more having to deal with the work we did yesterday. And today, we know more than we did yesterday, so there are things we'd do differently, if we had it to do over.
Over time, software rots. If we're not diligent, our beautiful code can degrade into a worthless mess. Keeping our code in working condition is no different than changing the oil in our car – it's preventive maintenance. In this session, Steve will look at some common places to look for signs of degradation in existing applications, and steps to take to improve the code. Examples will use C# and primarily ASP.NET.
75 minutes, ten takeaways. Attend this session and learn approaches for making solid functional User Interface tests of web applications. In this session we'll quickly cover the fundamentals of how automated web functional tests work, then dive into practical solutions you'll be able use on a daily basis.
You'll see how to create maintainable tests using the Page Object Pattern, handle complex asynchronous (timing!) situations, and deal with common controls like complex grids, trees, calendars, and a number of other "interesting" automation scenarios.
You'll leave this session armed with knowledge you can immediately apply to make your automated functional tests faster, more maintainable, and easier to write!
Does the session title look a bit like a movie tagline? Maybe it does.
But this time, you'll get a lot of value for your money, that's a guarantee. In this session, we'll start from File New Project. After 75 minutes, we'll have a fully-working application (and I'm not talking about your average Flashlight application!).
Intrigued? Coming to theaters near you soon!
Too few people test their JavaScript, and examples of good tests are too rare. I've spent several years publishing testing tools and encouraging people to test JavaScript just as well as they would any other language. And yet, many struggle to start testing their JavaScript, often in spite of experience with test-driven development and exposure to all the requisite tools.
The missing link has been guidance on how to write clear and expressive unit tests effectively. Like in so many other ways, JavaScript has not traditionally received due attention with respect to excellent unit test design. In this session, I'll demonstrate building tests (exactly as I'd write them for a real application!) for common situations like events handling, sending XHRs, and DOM manipulation. By working through examples, I'll illustrate how the pain we encounter in our tests can encourage us to improve the design of our code.
One of the great promises of HTML5 is that you can create software that runs everywhere. In many ways, HTML5 lives-up to this promise, but as with any evolving standard, support across different browsers and devices is inconsistent.
To effectively adopt HTML5 today, developers must master the skills that fill-in the gaps and minimize the differences between HTML5 runtimes. In this session, you will learn the essential techniques needed to create HTML5 sites and apps that truly work everywhere, including old versions of Internet Explorer!
Microsoft has created a huge update for Windows 8, known as Windows 8.1. While the OS is definitely feeling much more polished, for developers, a lot has changed as well. The good news is that your apps still run without modification. The bad news is that, if you don't take advantage of the new stuff, your users will get a less-than-optimal experience.
In this session, we'll take you on a tour of all what's new in Windows 8.1 for developers. We'll take a look at the updates to XAML (WinJS isn't covered), the updated Search, the new tiles, the new screen sizes, the great new features in Visual Studio 2013 and much more.
These 75 minutes will make sure you're back on track for Windows 8 app development!
Join the .NET Rocks Live! JavaScript Libraries Panel with Justin Searls, Dan Wahlin, Phil Japikse, Richard Campbell and Carl Franklin
Brian freely admits that he will do anything for an achievement on his Xbox; after all he has four of them at home. One day Brian wondered if he could get achievements for just putting on pants going to this place called 'outside.' This thinking has led to the gamification of our world, where achievements, game design elements, and game theory have leapt from gaming across the wall to everyday life. Learn the how's and why of gamification. Everyone is using it to build wanted behavior, from enterprise developer teams, to sales teams, and to kids with diabetes. Being a gamer is not required, but we can't guarantee you won't become one when you are done.
In this presentation and demo the speaker will go through the various uses of Windows Azure for dev and test scenarios. The content will call out common current day flaws in testing (Don't test at all, poor/incomplete hardware, out of date builds in QA, can't test to scale, etc) The demos will include getting a trial (or MSDN), and building/deploying a simple ASP.NET MVC4 app for testing.
Moderated by:
Lyuben Belov, Managing Partner, LAUNCHub
Join the .NET Rocks Live! State of Mobile Development Panel with Laurent Bugnion, Gill Cleeren, Lino Tadros, Todd Anglin, Richard Campbell and Carl Franklin
This session will demonstrate the development of an application in Xamarin Monotouch, Xamarin MonoDroid, Icenium, Windows 8 and Windows Phone (8 or 9). It is important to see the same application being developed with different approaches, whether in HTML5/JS, Native or Mono while trying to reuse as much code as possible between all of them.
Processing and applying information from the previous projects, meetings, sessions, every-day conversations to positively affect present and future actions can be quite a challenge. Some of the feedback loops we regularly put into practice because the adopted methodologies prescribe them make the entire job easier, but not necessarily efficient enough. How important is it to you to hear what others think about your performance? How often do you give your feedback to the others? And what makes feedback useful?
These are some of the topics that we would like to cover in our session. Join us and, of course, give us your feedback!
Resonsive Design. The concept of creating a web application that adapts and changes as the screen gets smaller. Go from a full web application right down to a mobile application without ever leaving the page. One application that will run everywhere. It sounds too good to be true.
Twitter Bootstrap contains many of the tools that you need to get started creating rich web sites that scale to mobile. It gives you much of the JavaScript and CSS that you will need to make a truly responsive site. In this code heavy session, we'll build an app and explore the ins and outs of Twitter Bootstrap and it's responsive design capabilities. You will leave with the tools you need to start building responsive sites today.
An Agile Talk on Agile - join us and expect the unexpected
Are your applications aware of network conditions? Do you leverage network capabilities to maximize user experience? How do you harness the wealth of information available from the network? Did you think SDN was just about Openflow and Data Centers?
The Cisco Open Network Environment provides a unified architecture to build networks that become more open, programmable, and application-aware. It enables you to access the valuable data inside your network via easy-to-use APIs, to build and extend applications across your routers and switches, to servers and new business platforms. Automate current services or create new ones on demand, when and where you need them and faster than ever.
In this session we are using a combination of background theory and practical examples to review Network Programming architectures, the choice of protocols, industry standards, use-case based deployment models and integration experiences. You'll learn about the concepts, real-life experience and the relevant starting points. How will you use network programming? http://www.cisco.com/go/one http://www.cisco.com/go/onepk http://developer.cisco.com/web/onepk
TL;DR - State machines in JavaScript are awesome. Come see why. How do you deal with long-running asynchronously workflow in JavaScript? Promises, callbacks and events are all powerful tools - but they are often woefully insufficient on their own to produce an abstraction that not only properly models reality, but remains extensible and maintainable over time as well.
In this session we'll cover what finite state machines *are*, and then look at how they solve concerns such as online/offline connectivity management, initialization/boot-strapping, UI workflow and others. You will leave armed with pattern knowledge on how to tackle thorny problems as well as API knowledge of machina.js.
In this session we will look over the various ways .NET is collecting memory, tips how to help GC perform better and tools that will save your day.
This is a must attend session for those who still do not know how to troubleshoot memory issues. For the rest it is a nice refresh and new look of features in .NET 4.5. As usual there will be lots of demos.
HTML5 is all the rage these days but where do you look to find robust examples of using it along with jQuery, client-side templates, Ajax calls, data access technologies, and more? In this session, Dan Wahlin will walk through an application that demonstrates how key HTML5 technologies can be integrated and used to present data to users in different ways. Topics covered include exposing data to the client using Entity Framework and RESTful services created using the new ASP.NET Web API, using Handlebars templates to render data, JavaScript techniques for structuring code, the role of HTML5 semantic tags, as well as how technologies such as the canvas, SVG, and video can be used. If you want to learn server-side as well as client-side techniques and strategies then this session is for you!
Yes, it has curly braces. Yes, it has semi colons. And you can write C# like code in JavaScript. But should you? JavaScript programming has many paradigms that make it very different that writing typical managed code.
In this session, Phil shows you, the C# programmer, what you need to know to take your JavaScript to the next level.
Are you writing a lot of JavaScript code and finding that it's growing into an unmanageable mess as the application grows in size?
In this session Dan Wahlin will demonstrate how to clean up and fix common problems such as function spaghetti code, polluting the global namespace and writing messy code by using JavaScript patterns to create more modular and encapsulated code.
You'll leave the session with several tips on how to write clean, maintainable, re-useable and consistent code and learn about patterns such as the Prototype Pattern, Revealing Module Pattern and Revealing Prototype Pattern.
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A house fire was reported before dawn Monday morning on South SR 4.
The fire, reported at 4 a.m. at 7389 S. SR 4, started in the mudroom of the two-story home and caused roughly $40,000 in damage, Attica-Venice-Reed Fire Chief Brett Meyers said.
Its exact cause is not known, but it's believed to either be electrical in nature or to have started from a wood burner, he said.
"We have to look at that closer," Meyers said.
Meyers said the majority of damage was contained to the mudroom and a room attached to it. Smoke damage was reported in the rest of the house.
Meyers said the residents were not injured, but one firefighter was transported to the hospital with a minor shoulder injury.
He said the American Red Cross was contacted to assist the residents.
Meyers said temperatures were cold early Monday morning, but they didn't affect firefighters' ability to put out the fire.
"It didn't (affect us) besides it was freezing," he said.
A spokeswoman from the Seneca County Sheriff's Office said Bloomville and Republic fire departments and Attica EMS also were called to the scene.
Republic Fire Chief Jason Porter said one of Republic's fire trucks was involved in an accident as it was leaving the scene of the fire. He said a driver struck the front of the fire truck while trying to drive past it. A gust of wind and snow had made visibility difficult for the driver, Porter said.
He said the driver was not injured, but his truck was damaged. The fire truck was not damaged, Porter said.
Meyers said firefighters were back in service from the scene around 8:30 a.m.


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The Manchester Fire Department responded to a report of a fire on Edgemere Drive on Saturday night at around 6 p.m.
Upon arrival, fire officials found it was a small electrical fire that set the alarm.
Police say after the fire department left, a Manchester fire truck collided with another car at the intersection of Calef Road and Harrington Avenue. According to police reports, the streets were covered with snow and there was low visibility.
There was one person in the car traveling south on Calef Road who said she was unable to stop due to the conditions.
The passenger was checked at the scene and none of the firefighters were hurt. The firetruck was taken out of service due to damages.


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Wednesday, April 24, 2013
The Water Missions International seventh annual Walk for Water in Charleston raised more than $190,000 on March 23 in conjunction with World Water Day. Funds contributed from the event will allow the nonprofit organization to provide safe water and sanitation solutions to more than 19,000 people in developing countries and disaster areas.
The walk in downtown Charleston inspired more than 1,800 participants from all over South Carolina and surrounding states to experience the daily trek women and children in developing countries make every day to collect water that is unsafe for human consumption. Participants were invited to carry buckets filled with dirty water halfway through the walk. At the end of the walk, the dirty water was then filtered through the organization's Living Water Treatment System (LWTS), the primary treatment tool used in safe water solutions.
Team "Heart of the Lion" raised the most funds out of 130 teams, contributing more than $17,000. The team was formed in memory of slain teenager Marley Lion, whose life infused energy and love into everyone he met. Now, lives will continue to be transformed by the gift of safe water in his honor.
"'The Heart of the Lion' team was able to help our family beautifully honor our Marley Lion's great love of life by giving the gift of life and health to others," said Elizabeth Paige, mother of Marley Lion. "We could see our son's spirit reflected in many during the 2013 Walk for Water - his outgoing friendliness in the smiles of the walkers, his solid courage in the Kenyans leading the walk, his contagious joy in the laughter of the children and his amazing strength in the youth proudly carrying their bucket of water without complaint."
Notably, the inaugural 'Marley Lion Spirit Award' was presented at this year's walk, in honor of Lion. The award recognizes a passionate participant in the Walk for Water and an advocate fighting for the global water crisis. This year's award was presented to Mia Llamas, an 8-year-old girl who asked friends to donate to Water Missions International in lieu of presents for her birthday. She also held fundraisers in her hometown of Galax, Va., before traveling with her family to the event.
"Every year we continue to be amazed by the outpouring of community support," said Brittany Fogle, special events coordinator at Water Missions International. "We could not fulfill our mission if we did not have passionate sponsors and advocates for our organization and our cause."
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|An American goulash, made with ground beef, Italian sausage and andouille, tomato, garlic and pasta, and seasoned with the Trinity and a bit of Cajun seasoning.
Southern Beef and Sausage GoulashDon't you just love goulash? Now, of course, I'm talking about what we Americans refer to as goulash here, and not anything remotely resembling an authentic Hungarian goulash. Pasta, ground beef, Italian sausage, tomato, a bit of garlic, and in this case, The Trinity, a bit of Cajun seasoning, and some mild andouille sausage to southernize it just a tad, making it even better. Total comfort food, and ... it's all stovetop! So it's a quick & easy meal that is delicious. If you're looking for a very basic American goulash I've got that too! Click that link and we'll carry you right there!
Recipe: Southern Beef and Sausage Goulash©From the Kitchen of Deep South Dish
Prep time: 15 min |Cook time: 35 min | Yield: About 4 to 6 servings
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil
- 1/2 cup of chopped celery
- 1/2 cup of chopped green bell pepper
- 1/2 of a large onion, chopped
- 1 pound of ground beef
- 1/2 pound of Italian sausage
- 1/4 pound of andouille sausage, chopped
- 3 garlic cloves, chopped
- 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
- 2 large pinches of kosher salt
- 8 turns of the pepper grinder
- 1/2 teaspoon of Cajun seasoning (like Slap Ya Mama)
- 1 (8 ounce) can of tomato sauce
- 1 can of Rotel diced tomatoes
- 1 (14.5 ounce) can of stewed tomatoes
- 2 bay leaves
- 1 tablespoon of dried parsley
- 2 cups of beef broth
- 2 cups of uncooked, elbow macaroni noodles
Heat oil in a large pot over medium heat; saute the celery, green pepper and onion until softened. Add the ground beef and Italian sausage, cooking over medium high heat, until lightly browned and cooked through, breaking up the meat as it cooks. Add the andouille sausage and the garlic, stir and cook another 3 minutes. Add the Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, and Cajun seasoning, stir and cook another minute.
Stir in the tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, stewed tomatoes, bay leaves and parsley, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 15 minutes. Add the beef broth and pasta, bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until noodles are tender and liquids have reduced. Taste, adjust seasonings as needed, remove and discard bay leaves, and serve with a nice side salad and a green veggie.
Cook's Notes: Andouille sausage is a highly spiced smoked sausage that is blended with Cajun spices, adding a spicy kick and great flavor to these dishes. If you substitute kielbasa or other smoked sausages in recipes where it calls for Andouille, it will affect the outcome of your dish and you'll need to make adjustments in the seasonings you use. A side of this fantastic Hasselback Cheesy Garlic Bread wouldn't hurt either. Oh my gosh is that stuff to die for!
Source: http://deepsouthdish.com
Requires Adobe Reader - download it free!
©Deep South Dish
☛ Are you on Facebook? If you haven't already, come and join the party! We have a lot of fun & there's always room for one more at the table.
Check These Recipes Out Too Y'all!
Basic American Goulash
Southernized Baked Ziti
Hamburger Steak with Creamy Onion Gravy
Salisbury Steak with Mushroom Gravy
Images and Full Post Content including Recipe ©Deep South Dish. Recipes are offered for your own personal use only and while pinning and sharing links is welcomed and encouraged, please do not copy and paste to repost or republish elsewhere such as other Facebook pages, blogs, websites, or forums without explicit prior permission. All rights reserved.


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And now for the Original Take, which resulted in a busted lip.
Happy Mother's Day
37 comments:
How super sweet! I love the second video too. Shows the reality of motherhood. haha Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful mom!! (just found your blog and am totally inspired by you.)ReplyDelete
oh my goodness. these were great! sweet hubby. happy mother's day!ReplyDelete
Happy Mother's Day!ReplyDelete
LOL! "daddy stop it!" *hand up*ReplyDelete
your family is soo fun. lol
happy mother's day
I love your real life love... Super sweet. Happy Mothers Day! :)ReplyDelete
This is great! I especially love the second video. ;) Reminds me of my brothers and I when we were younger. We look back at videos like that now and roll laughing.ReplyDelete
I love the original take! Now that's how it would go down at our house!ReplyDelete
I also love how the Mr. learned from the first take, and did the kids individually in the second take! It's so sweet!
those videos made me want to laugh and weep at the same time. laugh at your sorrow and weep at the sorrow that is surely mine as i keep bearing more children. mazzle mazzle.ReplyDelete
Hi Emily.ReplyDelete
I've been a silent reader until now.
I've been following your blog for a few months now and your family is adorable.
It's been a rainy day here today and I noticed you haven't updated your banner at the top of your blog. I know you've been really busy and most likely haven't had time so I decided to make you one. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't use it, I had fun making it!
I used the pattern from Hadley and Kohens bedroom to fill the font. : )
This will go down in history. Hilarious. Is Caedmon's lip ok? Hahaha :)ReplyDelete
Ha! LOVE that you caught all of that sibling love on camera. My family still gets a kick out of watching the home video where my brother ruthlessly shoves snow into the face of the toddler version of myself.ReplyDelete
SO hysterical! Thank you, thank you, for showing the reality of the day to day. It makes me feel at home :)ReplyDelete
ps. where where you, why do they miss you?
HA! That second one looks like my everyday life :O).. thanks for keeping it real, hehe.ReplyDelete
OMG the second video! Both boys screaming, Hadley tucking her hair behind her ear and totally flirting with the camera! They are so sweet and obviously love you so much!ReplyDelete
OMG I AM DYINGGGGGGGGG The boys are fighting and screaming and Hadley is just smiling and posing and putting her hair behind her ears LOLOLOLOL seriously hilarious. DADDY STOP IT.ReplyDelete
{btw, why do they miss you?! :( we miss you too! hope you are okay!}
is elsa making out with that water bottle?ReplyDelete
They are SO cute! And Elsa.... adorable. She seems to adjusting so well! You are an amazing mother, I love lurking (and now commenting, hehe) your blog. You inspire me to adopt... I'm already warming up the Mr to the idea!ReplyDelete
Hope you had a Happy Mother's Day! You deserve one!!!
If you have time (and aren't too busy puking... =( ) link up and create a Monday Memory post on your blog with my new blog hop.
SO cute! Loved both of them, you have some pretty awesome kids there (even if the result of a cute video for Mom is a busted lip!) xReplyDelete
I love how the girls are just going on like nothing is happening...only when there is blood does Hadley acknowledge the shenanigans!ReplyDelete
It's the thought that counts :0). And double-points for Mr. Anderson to change the plan as opposed to doing a re-take ;).ReplyDelete
Happy Mother's Day Emily!!
love this window into your world. makes me miss you all the more. one month until we can see you. i can't wait to get all of the kids together and see how they interact. there will probably be plenty more busted lips...and that's okay. happy mother's day!ReplyDelete
The last video was HILARIOUS!!!!!!ReplyDelete
ha! reminds me of when i was growing up! hope you had a most fabulous mother's day!ReplyDelete
Love watching the fun chaos. Just like our house. Everything starts out fun and turns into something to fight about :)ReplyDelete
man, does he have an arm on him!! lol.. too cute.. 'deny, bye!'... they are all precious!!ReplyDelete
I wonder how many people who just saw that second video suddenly feel understood. Awesome.ReplyDelete
This totally reminds me of when I was a kid - I would have been Caedman trying to make it perfect then punishing Derrick (Milo) for not listening to me. The only difference is that I would have viciously retaliated for the cookie dough canister in the face, but Caedman was a good boy and walked away. :0)ReplyDelete
Happy Mother's Day!
silent reader until now...ReplyDelete
seriously the second video...Hadley primping for the camera = Priceless! That girl is hilarious! I hope you had a wonderful mothers day (how could you not with videos like that to watch!)
KUDOS to you, Anderson family. I found your blog thanks to Mrs. Loerke and your guest post (and have also been a silent reader till that video brought me out of the woodworks). You guys are AWESOME. I totally needed that laugh today. Keep on being real, and posting about it, and posting what real life is. THAT'S why you ROCK. And I have kept your new little surprise nugget in my prayers since reading about it. Sending prayers your way, always,ReplyDelete
Erica out in California.
Classic! Absolutely perfect and I'm sure you'll look back in years to come and yearn for these crazy day's!ReplyDelete
ahahahahah! omg this totally killed me. so much like my days as well. hahahaha. i hope caedmon's ok!!!!!ReplyDelete
sesriously the most realistic video i hav eever seen.ReplyDelete
i LOVE it.
the birth order!
the care taker!
the screaming!
the throwing!
the daddy still filming.
i would've kept filming too! because really at that point it can only get more interesting. there were either going to work it out and sing or do what they did.
i LOVE it.
I love the original, it makes me feel normal!!!! ;)ReplyDelete
Happy mother's day! Love the 2nd video :).ReplyDelete
i was in tears from laughing so hard seriously!!! my life is so boring compared to yours lol you are truly blessedReplyDelete
I especially love the sound of Mr Anderson snapping as if that is doing to stop the fighting! Ahhhhhhhhhh.............motherhood!ReplyDelete
Omg, your kids are adorable! :DReplyDelete


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Teleflex Replacement Stainless Steel Knobs And Handles
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Replacement handle for Teleflex SLT control
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Product DescriptionStainless steel replacement handles and knobs for binnacle mount controls. Both throttle and shift knobs are available with visual and tactile distinction in keeping with ABYC guidelines. Handles replace Teleflex SLT and Morse SR Twin control handles. Knobs fit Teleflex SLT controls and most other brands. Throttle knob features red grooves, while shift knob is smooth.


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Keeping Dry With Comic Books
Nerding Out looks at new Superman, Spider-Man and Wolverine prints
November 11, 2012
How does one batten down for a Frankenstorm? In Western New York, we were lucky to be so far removed from the brunt of Hurricane Sandy's effect....
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3 Movies They Don't Make Anymore (But Really Should)
#1. Mel Brooks Movies
(aka Smart Spoofs)
SR-71, a band that might be terrible but that I love unconditionally, has a song called "Politically Correct." The whole song is about how the world has gotten too soft and no one can joke anymore because they run the risk of offending someone, and if you offend anyone, anywhere, you're kicked out of society. The song's catchy, the lyrics are ... OK, but the important thing comes in the bridge, where the lead singer inexplicably scream-sings "You couldn't make a Mel Brooks movie today," and then quietly follows up this thought by saying, "I saw Blazing Saddles yesterday," before jumping back into their chorus about being unintentionally offensive.
(For full effect, here's all the sound and moving.)
It's probably one of my favorite musical moments of all time, a guy who pauses his song to tell us all that he saw Blazing Saddles the day before he wrote the song. No follow up. Just, like, "Man, wasn't that a good movie? Anyway here's the rest of my song now."
I also love that section because he's right. You're right, lead singer of SR-71; you couldn't make a Mel Brooks movie today. Nothing like Brooks' Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Space Balls, and Men in Tights (as well as the non-Brooksian Airplane, Naked Gun, and Hot Shots franchises) exists today. Which is unfortunate, because those movies plus The Simpsons basically taught me what comedy was.
Instead, They're Making ...
The Scary Movie franchise looks like it's trying to be the heir to Mel Brooks' throne, but they're doing just an awful job of it. A Mel Brooks movie was a smart love letter to a genre (sci-fi, Western, romance, etc.). Brooks knew how to poke holes in and deconstruct a movie genre, but it was clear that he could only do this because he genuinely understood and loved whatever he was mocking. Space Balls is a Star Wars/general sci-fi action spoof that also stands alone as a genuinely enjoyable sci-fi action flick.
And Bill Pullman is, frankly, dashing.
The Scary Movie franchise has no heart. It's a series of pop culture references and dick jokes (and, yes, I'm aware that that sentence also can be applied to my entire career/personality). Mel Brooks would look at what was good and bad about a genre and shine a loving spotlight on both. Scary Movie will hire Lindsay Lohan to get in a car accident, look direct to camera, and say, "Not again!" which might not but probably does happen in at least two Scary Movies. The few times I've tried to watch anything in the [Blank] Movie series, I had to give up quickly, because every scene looked like this:
[EXT. Day- A FART NOISE is heard.]
A Wayans Brother: Daaamn. Now THAT's what I call a Big Momma's House!
[We see someone dressed like Martin Lawrence as a woman in Big Momma's House]
Big Momma: Oh no you didn't! Now where's my Austin Powers?
[We see Austin Powers. Actually Austin Powers. Just him, Mike Myers as Austin Powers, not deconstructing or commenting on anything, they just got him for this movie.]
Austin Powers: Don't you mean Lady Gaga?
A Wayans Brother Dressed as Lady Gaga (in a Bill Clinton voice): I did not have sexual relations with that Charlie Sheen.
Charlie Sheen: (To camera) Busted!
This bothered me for a long time. I didn't know WHY we started dumbing down our spoofs, why we stopped doing parodies and started just rolodexing timely pop culture references and boner jokes, but then Abelman, one of our forum members, had a fairly convincing theory. He acknowledged the fact that all of the formal "parodies" are shit, and he thinks that the reason we aren't doing smart genre parodies anymore is because we can't. Because Hollywood is obsessed with reboots, and the reboots are doing the parodying themselves:
"Looking at a movie like Star Trek, one sees real characterization developed and a new story told that nevertheless spoofs some of the old tropes and infuses the film with some tongue in cheek humor."
That's Abelman, and he's right. There's no reason to do a Star Trek parody today. If I was going to make a Trek parody, I'd make jokes about red shirts, or I'd call attention to the fact that every time a complex scientific point is brought up, it's followed up by a really dumb, simple metaphor to explain it to the audience (a common Star Trek maneuver). But I'd have no reason to do EITHER of those things, because both of those jokes were already made in the Star Trek reboot. Modern Star Trek is already winking at old Star Trek, Die Hard 4 winked at Die Hard 3, and Superman Returns winked at the whole franchise. You could try to spoof popular action movie tropes, but why do that when The Expendables is basically a series of references and jokes about action movie tropes already?
When the opportunity for deconstruction or spoof is already taken away by reboots and big Expendables-esque team-ups, there's nothing for the spoof genre to do but rolodex pop culture references and dick jokes.
And when that happens, there's nothing for me to do but complain. About everything.
Or, I guess I could just keep rewatching Die Hard until this whole thing blows over. I'll probably do that.


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When Pavel Vogler left Krakow for Southern California in 1992, he brought almost 100 of his favorite paintings. The darkly shaded oil works in blue, black and purple show Vogler's vision of his hometown and its medieval Jewish quarter, Kazimierz, filled with empty synagogues. Moonlight, twilight and the glow of streetlamps illuminate Vogler's Polish works, where ghosts of a Jewish history haunt cobblestone streets. Vogler's first solo exhibit in the United States, now on view at A Shenere Velt Gallery, displays a range of the artist's styles and settings. In "Past and Present from Poland to Pico: Memories and Paintings," Vogler displays four series of work, created in Poland and his new home in West Covina. The paintings include "Shadows," the last painting Vogler completed in Krakow, and "The Sign" (left) a brightly colored, swirling print of a man holding a Torah, the first of Vogler's California works and a striking contrast to the dark Polish images.
The breadth of the artist's talent is evident in the series titled "Family and Friends," six portraits ranging from the agitated study in motion of "My Father" to the serene "La Paloma." Unlike much of his work, many of the portrait subjects are not Jewish. "I just love working with people," Vogler says.
Though the 38-year-old Vogler has exhibited his paintings widely in Europe, he is best known in America for his film work. Vogler's films include "Three Stories," based on the life of his father, Henryk, a well-known Polish author who was among the few Jews to return to Krakow after years in WWII concentration camps. Vogler is currently developing another film, "Moloch," based on one of his father's novels.
The artist hopes that this exhibit will lead to an opportunity for large-scale projects. "I'd love to do a series on Los Angeles," he says, "a whole exhibition on how Jewish cultures are crisscrossing and thriving here." Through Aug. 31. A Shenere Velt Gallery, 1525 Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (310) 552-2007 or visit www.fluxfire.com/pv.
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