text:
Three teams from the Mirror coverage area will attempt to defend district titles when the high school baseball season kicks off in the upcoming days.
Of those teams, Bedford has the most coming back.
The Bisons, who won the District 5 Class AA title with a victory over Everett last year, won a state playoff game before losing to Central in the PIAA quarterfinals. Bedford returns six starters, including Marcus Shippey, who made the first team on the Mirror's all-star squad last season.
Article Photos
Mirror file photo by Patrick Waksmunski
Jextin Pugh, who made the Mirror's first team all-star squad last year, returns for BG.
"Offensively we have a core group of returning starters back in the middle of the lineup," Bedford coach Scott Waugerman said. "[We're] hoping to make a run in the postseason again this year."
The team that stopped the Bisons' run last year, Central, has only three starters returning from the team that won the District 6 Class AA title and made it all the way to the PIAA semifinals. The year before, Central lost in the PIAA championship game.
"The kids have been working their tails off in the offseason and preseason practices," Central coach A.J. Hoenstine said. "We may struggle early to find the right lineup, but I am confident the kids will continue to work hard and peak come the end of the season."
The area's other district champion, Bishop Carroll, will have a tough road back to defend its District 6 Class A championship. The Huskies lost nine of the 13 players on their roster last season.
Tussey Mountain, which lost in the District 5 Class A title game to Salisbury Elk-Lick, has five returning starters but must fill several holes in key positions and adjust to a new coach.
The following is a capsulized preview for each team.
Coach: Tom Smith, 11th year
Career record: 85-98
Conference: Central Penn
Last year's record: 8-11
Returning starters: Christian Helsel, sr., inf.-p; Anthony Lombardo, sr., c
Other returnees: Jason Douglass, sr., p-inf.; Chris Sinisi, sr., inf.-p; Trevor Arnold, sr., of; J.D. Green, sr., of-p; Dylan Oswalt, sr., of; Ben Wyland, jr., inf.-p
Newcomers: Travis Baker, jr., inf.; Tyler Negri, jr., of; Alec Lytle, jr., p-of; Shea Strayer, jr., p-of; Marcus Wolfe, jr., inf.; Jake Chesney, jr., of; Dylan Conrad, so., c; Jared Berardinelli, so., inf.; Colby Fink, so., inf.-of; Ben Foose, fr., inf.-p
Strengths: "Good senior leadership from Helsel and Lombardo. They are two kids who lead by example."
Concerns: "Lack of varsity experience and having enough pitching. We are going to need to develop some pitchers rather quickly due to our solid schedule."
Overall outlook: "We graduated a lot of seniors last year so we have some younger kids battling for most starting positions. Our pitching and defense will dictate how much success we experience."
Assistant coaches: Jim Lowe, Troy Pincherri, Jake Hargreaves
Coach: Scott Waugerman, ninth year
Career record: 81-75
Conference: Laurel Highlands
Last year's record: 9-8
Returning starters: Marcus Shippey, sr., 1b-p; Tyler Black, jr., 1b-p-c; Aaron Henry, jr., 3b; Justin Himmler, sr., of; Zach Kendall, jr., 2b; Luke Campbell, jr., c
Other returnees: Alex Robinette, jr., of; Brad Painter, sr., p; Tyler Earley, sr., of
Newcomers: Mike Brett, of-p; Travis Hickey, of; Kody Blevins, of-2b
Strengths: "Offensively we have a core group of returning starters back in the middle of the lineup."
Concerns: "Pitching depth to handle three to four games a week is always a concern."
Overall outlook: "Hoping to make a run in the postseason again this year."
Assistant coaches: Gary Dudukovich, Gary Waugerman, Lee Roy, Ron Springer
Coach: Steve Conlon, 10th year
Career record: 95-86
Conference: Inter-County North
Last year's record: 8-11, 7-9 in ICC
Returning starters: Ryan Stuby, sr., 1b-p; Alex Dionis, sr., 2b; Haden DeGennaro, jr., cf; Bryan Lynn, jr., of; Seth Hunter, jr., p-3b; Danny Beech, jr., p-dh; Casey Gray, so., ss-p; Jake Stapleton, so., of
Other returnees: Josh Wertman, sr., of-p; Brian McCracken, sr., of; Tanner Snyder, so., inf.; Steffan Wyland, jr., c-p
Newcomers: Chad Luensmann, fr., 1b-p; Trenton Creppage, fr., c; Zack Mock, fr., 1b-of-p; Randy Zitterbart, fr., inf.; Tyler McNelis, sr., inf.
Strengths: "Team speed, depth in the pitching staff"
Concerns: "We are extremely young. We will play most of our games with only two seniors in the lineup."
Overall outlook: "We are looking forward to competing each day with the goal of improving and playing the best we can."
Assistant coaches: Tom Partner, Chris Miller, Justin Koleno, Justin Kobuck
Bishop Carroll
Coach: Matt Pfeil, sixth year
Career record: 42-41
Conference: Laurel Highlands
Last year's record: 15-9, 8-6 in LHAC
Returning starters: Tyler Strong, sr., 1b; Nick Maruca, sr., dh; Brett Sammarco, jr., cf
Other returnees: Ryan Caretti, jr., c-inf.
Newcomers: Matthew Deskevich, sr., p-inf.; Marty Lessard, so., p; Scott Lucas, fr., p-inf.; Brandon Martinazzi, fr., p-inf.; Dane Woo, fr., p-of
Strengths: "We have a good group of talented young players coming in with good fundamentals."
Concerns: "Must replace nine of 13 players from last year's roster, seven of which who were starters."
Overall outlook: "We need to play one pitch at a time."
Bishop Guilfoyle
Coach: Bill Wolf, sixth year
Career record: 56-62
Conference: Laurel Highlands
Last year's record: 8-11
Returning starters: Jared Keller, sr., ss; Jextin Pugh, jr., p-1b; T.J. Krol, of-c
Other returnees: Matt Stewart, so., p-inf.; Brendon Sweeney, jr., c-of; Pat Irwin, jr., inf.; Justin Wolfe, jr., p-inf.
Newcomers: Nick Johnson, sr., inf.; Mike Pleva, jr., c; Chris Michelone, jr., inf.; Dillion Adams, so., of; Jared Barber, fr., of; Morgan Litzinger, fr., inf.; Jordan Rhone, fr., of; Andrew Berger, fr., inf.; Tommy Bettwy, fr., inf.; Donny Gochnaur, fr., of; Derek Cursio, fr., of; Matt Young, fr., of
Strengths: "Team speed, very athletic, willing to learn"
Concerns: "The weather, pitching, lack of experience. We need to learn how to do all the little things it takes to win games."
Overall outlook: "We are a very young team looking to be a good team by the playoffs."
Assistant coaches: Steve Webster, Steve Trexler, Dale Rogers
Cambria Heights
Coach: Adam Sowers, first year
Career record: 0-0
Conference: Laurel Highlands
Last year's record: 8-11, 6-9 in LHAC
Returning starters: Nathan Bearer, jr., inf.-p; Andrew Brawley, jr., cf-p; Don Contorchick, jr., rf.; Tyler Crawford, jr., c; Dom Milanesi, jr., inf.; Ben Myers, jr., of
Other returnees: Matt Blake, sr., inf.; Alex Eckenrode, jr., inf.; Cameron Miller, jr., of
Newcomers: Jake Beach, sr., inf.; Brad Hoppel, jr., inf.-of; Eric Malloy, jr., inf.; David Woods, jr., of; Cody Baker, so., inf.-p; Isaac Sclesky, so., c; Josh Serafin, fr., inf.-of
Strengths: "Experience and starting pitching"
Concerns: "Depth"
Overall outlook: "We are a young team but have several starters returning with valuable playoff experience. Those returnees must be able to lead the way for us to succeed this season and make it back to the playoffs."
Assistant coaches: Mike Morealli, Tracy Neff, Dustin Neff, Ian Olsavsky, Tom Ertter
Coach: A.J. Hoenstine, sixth year
Career record: 75-42
Conference: Mountain
Last year's record: 18-6, 13-5 in ML
Returning starters: Brandon Negley, sr., lf; Kasy Hamm, jr., c; Austin Cunningham, so., ss
Other returnees: Ian Ebersole, sr., 1b-p; Brandon Nicewonger, sr., c; Logan Stern, sr., 2b; Cole Kreider, jr, 3b-p; Zach Croft, jr. p-dh; Todd Slick, jr. 3b; Bradi Moore, so., cf; Ethan Lewis, so., p-rf; Zach Slagenweit, so., p-rf; A.J. Frederick, so., ss
Newcomers: Tanner Zimmerman, jr., 2b; Jared Ponder, so., 3b; Ben Brumbaugh, so., p-of; Mike Mock, fr., inf.-p; Jay Stern, fr., 1b-dh; Jacob Mellott, fr. p-1b; Brenden Vollkommer, fr., 2b-p; Brandon Ritchey, fr., inf.-c; Colton Kensinger, fr., of-p; Cullen Gahagan, fr., of; Dalton Wilt, fr., of
Strengths: "Defense, team speed, hitting approaches, all team players and will play hard and play the right way"
Concerns: "Our pitchers have to throw strikes and not give up big innings for us to be successful. We have to have some pitchers step up. Schedule is very demanding as we're always playing a lot of quality teams."
Overall outlook: "The kids have been working their tails off in the offseason and preseason practices. We may struggle early to find the right lineup, but I am confident the kids will continue to work hard and peak come the end of the season."
Assistant coaches: Reggie Nevins, Robbie Keith, Jerry Albright, Jon Ewart
Junior high coaches: Paul Frederick, Dave Hoenstine
Central Cambria
Coach: Dave Moore, eighth year
Career record: 61-66-1
Conference: Laurel Highlands
Last year's record: 8-8-1, 7-6 in LHAC
Returning starters: Ryan Jo Jo Adams, sr., inf.; Justin Monito, sr., c; Josh Bracken, sr., inf-p; Danny Bowman, jr., inf.-p
Other returnees: Sean Love, sr., inf.-p; Donnie Ochenrider, sr., of-p; John Grimes, sr., of-p
Newcomers: Evan Melikant, sr., of-p; Sean O'Donnell Martin, sr., of-p; Randy Hodgson, jr., inf.-of-p; Anthony Berzonsky, jr., inf.; Dylan Bowers, jr., inf.-of; Jared Bowers, jr., c; Peter Schaffer, jr., inf.-of-p; Tyler Karlinsy, jr., inf.-c; Brandon Stump, so., of; Logan Brandis, so., inf.-of; Mitchell Vogatsky, so., of; Tanner Ambrisco, so., inf.-p; Scott Bauer, so., inf.-of; Ryan Drahnak, so., inf.; Will Seymour, fr., inf.-p-of; Tom Howell, fr., c-inf.; Trevor Zearing, fr., of; Gary Wahl, fr., inf.; Colby Crimmins, fr., inf.; Logan Homerick, fr., inf.
Strengths: "This is a strong core of seniors returning with some varsity and playoff experience. They have shown great leadership for the underclassmen and have had great work ethic. We have a nice group of pitchers returning."
Concerns: "As a staff, we worry each year that the weather will not allow us the opportunity to get quality outdoor practices in before the season begins."
Overall outlook: "As a staff, we believe our team can improve on a daily basis. The league is super difficult, and every game will be an incredible challenge. The playoff experience gained by this group last year has made them anxious for another opportunity to earn a berth."
Assistant coaches: Clinton Gochnour, John Dziack
Chestnut Ridge
Coach: Jim Skiles, 15th year
Career record: 141-137
Conference: Sideling Hill
Last year's record: 7-12, 4-11 in Sideling Hill
Returning starters: Brad Hengst, sr., p-3b; Josh Corle, sr., p-ss; Logan Noon, jr., 2b-cf; Brad Winegardner, c-1b
Other returnees: Jacob Mock, jr., p-c-of
Newcomers: Tony Montreal, sr., 1b; Dillon Bonnett, jr., of; Austin Hillegas, jr., of; Tanner Fleegle, so., c-of; Braden Hengst, so., p-of; Cole Miller, so., p-of; Sam Shank, so., inf.; Brandon J.D. Weyant, so., p-inf.; Luke Stultz, fr., 1b; Matt Wiley, fr., c-of
Strengths: "Intelligence, athleticism and enthusiasm"
Concerns: "Pitching and inexperience in key positions"
Overall outlook: "We will be competitive if our freshmen and sophomores mature quickly."
Assistant coach: Kelbi Berg
Junior high coaches: Brock Manges, Drew Manges
Coach: Justin Harris, fifth year
Career record: 36-30
Conference: Inter-County North
Last year's record: 10-9, 9-8 in ICC
Returning starters: Tyler Ickes, sr., 2b-p; Jared Ickes, sr., of; Ethan Miller, sr., of; Zach Helsel, jr., c; Devin Weyandt, jr., of; Trey Claar, jr., 1b-p; Zach Cox, jr., ss; Doug Knisely, jr., 3b-p; Cameron Strayer, jr., 3b-p; Matt Repko, jr., of
Other returnees: Dalton Harr, sr., p-of; Joel Hammel, jr., inf.
Newcomers: D.J. Mock, so., of; Nic Fickes, so., c; Nathan Musselman, so., inf.; Sammy Weyandt, so., 3b; Matt Anders, so., p-1b
Strengths: "Experience and team defense. We return 10 players that started at some point last year."
Concerns: "Hitting"
Overall outlook: "With all of our starters back from last year, we look to improve on last year's first-round playoff loss and make a run at a district championship."
Assistant coaches: Tim Oakes, Eric Claar, Joe Kitt
Coach: Mike Kline, 11th year
Career record: 130-72
Conference: Sideling Hill, Inter-County South
Last year's record: 13-7, 10-6 in Sideling Hill
Returning starters: Evan Woy, sr., of; Zakk Jays, jr., of; Dylan Foor, jr., p-ss; Jake Stover, jr., c; Kyle Droz, jr., 1b; Brian Greenwald, jr., of; Spencer McInroy, jr., 3b-of; Anthony Johnson, so., p-ss
Other returnees: Tanner Mellott, jr., 1b
Newcomers: Aaron Payne, sr., 2b; Reece Potts, jr., 3b-p; Jared Donaldson, so., c; Zach Zinn, so., of-p; Phil Cummings, so., 1b
Strengths: "We have experienced pitching with some depth and the core of our starters are returning."
Concerns: "Filling the void left by players who graduated last year. Also, with only 15 players on the roster, we will have to stay healthy."
Overall outlook: "The coaches and players have high expectations. We hope to continue to grow and improve off the success we had last year and look to be very competitive in each and every game."
Assistant coaches: James Eichelberger, Les Lepako
Junior high coaches: Travis Klahre, Scott Stover, Jim Pittman, Cary Lingenfelter, Banner Mann
Coach: Dan Sanders, second year
Career record: 5-13
Conference: Inter-County North, Moshannon Valley League
Last year's record: 5-13, 3-13 in ICC and 3-3 in MVL
Returning starters: Zarek Evanskey, sr., ss; Gus Gates, sr., rf; Mitchell Gedman, sr., c; Patrick Hamilton, sr., 1b; Jarid Ivory, sr., cf; Billy Sanders, sr., 2b; Timmy Sutton, sr., lf; Michael Wigfield, sr., p-3b; Justin Kephart, jr., p-3b; Tyler Potuschnig, so., p-inf.
Other returnees: Matt Bantley, jr., p-inf.; Keith Gates, jr., of-inf.; Brady Holland, jr., of; Matt Kimberly, so., c; Matt Schultz, so., of; Dakota Sinclair, so., inf.
Newcomers: Zach Gobert, so., 1b; Hunter Hamilton, so., 2b; Colton Kimberly, so., of; Greg Spencer, so., of; Craig Hewitt, fr., inf.-p; Alex Iraca, fr., of-p
Strengths: "Experience with many returning starters"
Concerns: "Pitching and finding depth at all positions"
Overall outlook: "Good, we should be competitive."
Assistant coaches: Tim Sutton, Ed Kephart
Coach: Jon Szynal, 14th year
Career record: 120-124
Conference: Central Penn
Last year's record: 11-9, 4-2 in CPL
Returning starters: Aaron Burger, sr., 3b; Jordan Baum, sr., inf.-p; Chris Storm, sr., inf.; Ian Ford, sr., 1b; Brandon Gallagher, sr., of-p; Dane Scallen, sr., of-p; Brett Hileman, jr., inf-p
Other returnees: Jeremy Yohn, sr., c-p; Brian Dinges, sr., of; Dominic Viduya, jr., p-of; Thayne Russell, jr., of; Tanner Claar, jr., of; Corey Sell, jr., of-p; Eric Miller, jr., inf.; Brian Urban, jr., inf.; Kaleb Springer, jr., inf.; Trent Sipes, so., inf.; Andrew Crum, so., inf.-p; Greg Dinges, so., c
Newcomers: Jordan McCall, fr., inf.-p; Luke Glass, fr., inf.; Reid Miller, fr., c; Ryan Waltz, fr., inf.-p
Strengths: "Depth on defense, experience"
Concerns: "Scoring runs"
Overall outlook: "Very coachable group of kids, great attitudes, very optimistic about adjusting to the new high school bat rules."
Assistant coaches: Dick Smith, Jeff Miller, Chad Swogger, Jarrod Klausman, Ben Layton, Ethan Ruggles, Garrett Miller
Coach: Brian Pelka, fourth year
Career record: 39-44
Conference: Mountain
Last year's record: 3-16
Returning starters: Nate Negri, sr., ss-p; Matt Kyper, sr., 1b-p; Nate Shope, sr., of; Jordan Weller, sr., p; Scott Alleman, sr., p-inf.; Josh Bafia, sr., inf.-of-p; Mackenzie Long, sr., c
Other returnees: Tanner Cook, so., of
Newcomers: Hunter Price, fr., inf.-p; Nate Gearhart, fr., of-p; Josh Foster, jr., 2b-ss-p; Adam Kifer, sr., 3b; Devon Claar, so., c-inf.-p; Rhett Stetchock, so., of-p
Strengths: "Varsity experience"
Concerns: "Pitching and defense"
Overall outlook: "We definitely took our lumps last year. I think this group has something to prove. We need to stay focused and be enthusiastic every inning of the game. Getting quality pitching and making the routine plays will allow us to be a quality team."
Assistant coaches: Pat Hurley, Rob Price, George Zanic, Nate Carlson, Bob Foster, Rich Weller
Juniata Valley
Coach: Bill Peters, 16th year
Career record: 136-127
Conference: Inter-County North
Last year's record: 13-6, 11-4 in ICC
Returning starters: Ethan Morrison, sr., ss; Billy Edmiston, sr., of-p; David Ormsby, sr., of-p; Mason Varner, sr., of; Trent Brown, sr., of; Wyatt Belinda, jr., 2b; Ryan Norris, jr., 1b-p; Tanner Perow, jr., p; Johnny Johnson, jr., 1b-dh
Other returnees: Nick Watson, sr., of-p; Derek Greene, jr., c-inf.-p; Troy Singer, jr., inf.-c; Zack Grove, so., inf.-of; Sam Gildea, so., 1b-of; Zack Faubert, so., of
Newcomers: Julius Koch, sr., of; Devin Low, jr., of-p; Shawn Houck, jr., inf.; Kyle Smithmyer, so., of; Jesse Claar, so., of; Dustin Houck, so., of; Sam Singer, fr., of-inf.; Zach Beam, fr., inf.; Konner Barton, fr., inf.-of
Strengths: "Experience, pitching, hitting and overall team speed"
Concerns: "Depth, replacing a four-year starter at catcher and power hitting"
Overall outlook: "Challenge for a league title and do well in districts"
Assistant coach: Don Price
Moshannon Valley
Coach: Justin Fye, fourth year
Career record: 21-38
Conference: Inter-County North, Moshannon Valley
Last year's record: 11-9, 8-7 in ICC, 4-3 in MVL
Returning starters: Zach Jasper, sr., c-ss-p; Derek Southern, sr., of-p; Jim McHugh, jr., 2b-of-p; Kent Stewart, so., 3b-of-p; Luther Harlow, so., p-1b-3b
Other returnees: Chris Kephart, sr., ss-2b-of-p; Andrew Ohler, sr., 2b-ss-of; James Stodart, jr., 1b-of
Newcomers: Joel Martin, sr., 2b-of-p; Dylan Ludwig, sr., 2b-of; J.J. Bacher, sr., 1b-p; Tyler Martin, sr., of-p; Sam Ohler, so., c; Jhett Wilks, so., of-2b; Stephan Kovalick, so., 2b-of
Strengths: "We have a lot of team speed. We also have a lot of guys who are versatile, which will help us throughout the year. We have a lot of guys who can pitch, which will help us when we get into the middle of the season, and we have good senior leadership."
Concerns: "We do not have a lot of varsity experience. We will have a lot of new starters this year. We have a lot of guys who can pitch, but I need to have a couple of guys step up and take control of the staff."
Overall outlook: "The coaching staff is very excited for this year. Even though we do not have a lot of letterwinners, we feel that this could be the best group of athletes we have had."
Assistant coaches: Derrik Eckenrode, Grant Stewart
Junior high coaches: Jim Hawkins, Grant Stewart, Jarod Bennett
Northern Bedford
Coach: Dave McIlnay, second year
Career record: 15-6
Conference: Inter-County South, Sideling Hill
Last year's record: 15-6, 11-5 in ICC and Sideling Hill
Returning starters: Jake Stern, sr., inf.; Logan Fluke, sr., p-of-inf.; Matt Sollenberger, sr., of; Cory Furry, sr., c; Eric Grace, jr., p-inf.; Isaac Stern, jr., inf.
Other returnees: Brendan Ebersole, sr., inf.-of; Tyler Petrou, sr., of; Garrett England, jr., p-inf.-of; Wes Foor, jr., inf.; Jourdan Miller, jr., c-of; Seth Clapper, jr., of; Thomas Foster, jr., of; Jacob Fredrick, jr., inf-of
Newcomers: Justin Brunner, jr., of; Jonas Bequeath, so., c-of; Kyler Diehl, so., p-of-inf.; Cory Zimmerman, so., inf.; Jonathan Petrou, so., p-inf.
Strengths: "Experience, pitching depth"
Concerns: "Consistency at the plate"
Overall outlook: "We have a strong nucleus returning from last season. There are several underclassmen that will need to step into different positions and produce. We have the experience but need to work hard every day to improve. Our goals are to contend for a league and district title."
Assistant coaches: Shane Suter, Justin Claar, Dan Oberman, Andrew Pepple
Junior high coaches: Corey Reffner, Tom Foor, Brian Fredrick
Northern Cambria
Coach: John Bonatesta, first year
Career record: 0-0
Conference: Heritage
Last year's record: 10-6, 9-5 in Heritage
Returning starters: Brian Laurito, sr., c; Josh Bonatesta, jr., of; Adam Polites, jr., of; Josh Prasko, so., p-of-c
Other returnees: Greg Wagner, sr., 3b; Adam Lieb, sr., 1b; Zack Yuhas, sr., inf.; Matt Eckenrode, jr., of; Chris Hornick, so., inf.-c; Evan Waldron, so., 1b; Cody Wissinger, so., inf.-of
Newcomers: Adam Mervine, sr., inf.-p; Jake Lieb, so., inf.; Nolan Paronish, so., of; Breanen Lee, so., inf.-p; Nick Hasson, fr., of; Evan McCombs, fr., inf.; Joe Olish, fr., inf.-p; Austin Tibbott, fr., inf.-p; Tanner Sunderlin, fr., of
Strengths: "Great senior leadership with a strong group of underclassmen players. We also have a great work ethic and desire to make ourselves better."
Concerns: "Pitching and varsity baseball experience"
Overall outlook: "The team has been working hard this offseason which hopefully pays off in the long run. We have a great understanding of fundamentals and are looking forward to having a good season."
Assistant coaches: T.J. Mullen, David Pawlikowski
Penn Cambria
Coach: James Poldiak, third year
Career record: 5-22
Conference: Laurel Highlands
Last year's record: 3-10
Returning starters: Jordan Fuller, sr., p-1b; Justin Myers, sr., p-ss; Joel Myers, sr., p-3b; Simon Itle, jr., p-2b; Josh Vinglish, jr., dh-of-p
Other returnees: Justin Fuller, jr., of; Jake Schwaderer, jr., of-p; Tyler Mento, jr., 3b; Dallas Jones, jr., 1b
Newcomers: Andrew Buck, sr., of; Brendon Eckenrode, jr., c; Dominic Farabaugh, fr., inf.-of; Dan Gamba, fr., of; Zane Itle, fr., inf.-p; Tyler Strasser, fr., c-of
Strengths: "Work ethic and wanting to be successful"
Concerns: "Youth and pitching"
Overall outlook: "We have a young team with a few returning starters. If we can limit mistakes and not give up the big inning, we look to be competitive in the Laurel Highlands."
Coach: Doug Sankey, 15th year
Career record: 197-108
Conference: Mountain
Last year's record: 14-6
Returning starters: Parker Watson, 1b-p; Mike Marcinko, ss; Robbie Smith, c; Mark Curtis, 2b-p; Cody Lee, p-of
Other returnees: Greg Belko, 3b
Newcomers: Andrew Greenawalt, of; Matt Carpin, of; Taylor Golemboski, of; Caleb Pepperday, of-p; Josh Dotts, of-p; Cody Ammerman, 1b
Strengths: "Pitching staff. Four starters are returning that combined to win 14 games last season."
Concerns: "New outfield/offensive production"
Overall outlook: "Good, we should be competitive."
Coach: Larry McCabe, 33rd year
Conference: WestPAC North
Last year's record: 13-5-1, 9-3 in WestPAC North
Returning starters: Jacob Bryja, sr., p-1b; Jesse Kreutzberger, sr., p-c-of; Derek Cyran, sr., 3b; Evan Price, sr., ss
Other returnees: Shane Baker, jr., inf.; Devon Harrison, jr., of; Brady Warner, jr., p-inf.-of
Newcomers: Cory Alexander, sr., p-inf.-of; Zack Coukart, so., c-inf.-of; Bailey Kerch, so., of-p; Brandon Madigan, so., inf.-p; C.W. Miller, so., of; John Stauski, so., inf.; Blake Swires, so., 1b-p; Joe Randazzo, so., of; Michael Bryja, fr., inf.-p; Brandon Vocco, fr., c
Strengths: "Four returning starters"
Concerns: "Inexperienced pitching staff"
Overall outlook: "We would like to play for the WestPAC championship and qualify for the District 6 playoffs."
Assistant coaches: Josh Burkett, Joe Klezek
Junior high coach: Travis Kargo
Tussey Mountain
Coach: Kasey Kuhns, first year
Career record: 0-0
Conference: Inter-County South, Sideling Hill
Last year's record: 16-4, 13-3 in Sideling Hill
Returning starters: Presley Swope, sr., p-inf.; Michael Runk, jr., p-inf.-of; Garrett Wilson, jr., p-inf.; Tyler Husick, jr., of; Wyatt Brumbaugh, so., c
Other returnees: Shawn Hotnisky, jr., of
Newcomers: Steve Carroll, jr., of-p; Koty Taylor-Chadwick, so., of; Tyler Swope, so., inf.-p; Darian Zelanko, so., of; Mitchell McDonald, so., inf.-p; Kyle Querry, so., of; Daniel Taylor, fr., inf.-p
Strengths: "Veteran leadership"
Concerns: "Young and inexperienced in a few areas on defense and also at the plate"
Overall outlook: "Outlook seems good. We are a young team that does not have a ton of experience, but we are getting great leadership from our players who have been contributing to this team for a couple years. Players are working hard and hopefully that will help make up for some of our inexperience."
Assistant coaches: Matt McCahan, Dave Leonard
Junior high coaches: Zach Treece, Nick Chamberlain
Coach: Mark Savino, third year
Career record: 12-24
Conference: Mountain
Last year's record: 6-11
Returning starters: J.D. Dorminy, sr., p-ss; Markus Wagner, sr., lf; Courtland Pannebaker, sr., cf; Jake Belinda, jr., p-ss; Seth Welch, jr., p-3b; Matt Hample, jr., p-1b
Other returnees: Kolten Taylor, jr., 2b; Joe Gearhart, jr., 2b; Ryan Fink, jr. 3b; Adam Flick, jr., c; Kaden Hunter, jr., rf; Anthony Zimmerman, jr., 3b; Brad Wirtner, so., c; Terel Albright, so. 1b; Freedom Sprankle, so., p; Jordan Miller, so., p-1b; Jake Dorminy, so., 2b
Newcomers: Mark Lewis, fr., c; Tristan Lingafelt, fr., c; Preston Mitchell, fr., 1b; Nathaniel Soellner, fr., ss; Joseph Steinbugl, fr., of; Levi Swogger, so., c; Aleic Hunter, fr., of
Strengths: "Good pitching depth"
Concerns: "Only three senior athletes"
Overall outlook: "Mountain League baseball has a lot of great athletes and teams. We hope to stay in the run for home field advantage in the district playoffs this year."
Assistant coaches: Marvin Murray, Mike Drum, Kevin Soellner, Andrew Stevens
Coach: Mark Welch, second year
Career record: 5-11
Conference: Inter-County North
Last year's record: 5-11, 3-8 in ICC
Returning starters: Mike McCall, sr., 1b; Dalton Price, sr., c-p; Jed Dishong, jr., p-inf.-of; Jordan Rabits, jr., p-of; Quentin Snyder, jr., of; Adam Wheland, jr., p-ss; Austin McMonagle, so., p-inf.-of
Other returnees: Sean McCauley, jr., dh-3b; Alec Plumley, jr., of; Tyler Bell, so., of; Caelan Hughes, so., of
Newcomers: Lucas Hearn, sr., of; Caleb Morrissey, so., inf.-of
Strengths: "Pitching, defense"
Concerns: "We have a small roster this year, so we need to keep everybody healthy, and we cannot afford any injuries."
Overall outlook: "From what I've seen in our practices, we should have a good team this year. The kids are doing what we ask them and working hard. We are looking forward to a strong season. We hope to win our league and make it to districts."
Assistant coaches: Dan McMonagle, Alan McCall
Junior high coaches: Thad White, Brady Appleman


text:
On Thursday, the Granite Bay Grizzlies were given a big sendoff by the high school as they took off to Carson, Calif., to prepare for the state title game against Long Beach Poly.
Dozens of students, parents and teachers came out to send the football team off in style.
Coach Russ Town said the players have a lot of pressure to win, because they face a team known for sending the most players to the NFL.
The Grizzlies are on an 11-game winning streak.
Players told KCRA 3 that no one should underestimate them.
Running back John Cooley said he's been waiting for this moment since he was 7 years old.
The championship game will take place Friday night.
The bus departed at 7 a.m.
About 70 students are now on their way to Southern California.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
6 Real How-To Guides You Won't Believe Anyone Needs
One of the best things about the Internet is that it contains a wealth of information to guide you through life's unexpected obstacles. If it wasn't for the wise words of complete strangers, I never would have been able to fix my own toilet, master a delicious lasagna recipe, and stretch my rectum to the point where I could successfully smuggle a kilo of cocaine through Guadalajara International Airport.
But in an attempt to provide guidance on every possible challenge someone could face, the Internet's how-to writers have crafted guides that could only be of use to the desperate or the insane. God help you if you ever find yourself consulting one of the following.
#6. How to Pierce Your Own Penis
Medioimages/Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images
Every man has thought about driving a steel rod through his penis at some point in his life. But some of us are hesitant to show our willy to Willy, the coked up ex-biker who will charge a hundred bucks to help you set off metal detectors with your dick. What's a shy, cash-strapped genital piercing enthusiast to do?
Thankfully, the good men and women -- nay, the good heroes -- at WikiHow answered the call of what has to be, like, six people, which is why I can no longer get an erection that doesn't immediately wilt away in terror. We're told that a dong piercing can improve your sex life, make you feel cool, and give you a piercing that "nobody knows about." The last point contradicts the first, and the second is the worst misunderstanding of what it means to be cool since the socially awkward started wearing fedoras.
Jupiterimages/Creatas/Getty Images
You think that dude can't take a punch? Look at him. LOOK AT HIM!
Credit where credit's due: This is a well-written guide. It's comprehensive and easy to understand, and I've had surgeries that took fewer sanitary precautions than they recommend. That makes it even weirder, because the best way to ensure that you don't get dick dropsy is to go to a goddamn professional. The guide even suggests this several times, and also mentions a few of the many, many ways doing it yourself can go horribly wrong. I don't know what sort of man decides to go ahead with the personal touch after reading these warnings, but I know I'd want him to have my back in a bar fight.
And oh boy, can this ever go wrong. It's suggested that you get a pair of clamps so that, when you make the first hole and start screaming like a little girl who's being mauled by a tiger, you won't accidentally miss your mark on the exit and give yourself a second urethra. If I ever follow the Internet's advice to apply a clamp to my foreskin, the next step in the guide had better be "Question every life decision you have made up to this point as you star in a Bulgarian porno to pay off your gambling debts."
Hemera Technologies/Photos.com
We'll now take a minute to let every male in the audience cross his legs and cringe.
Look, I'm no prude. If you want a genital piercing, go nuts (although not literally). But for God's sake, get it done by a professional. The "jam metal through a stranger's genitalia" industry is probably traumatizing enough without them having to worry about losing business to a self-starting go-getter. Not to mention that if you mess up, you'll have the most humiliating emergency room story ever.
#5. How to Give Yourself a Tattoo With Household Items
Ryan McVay/Photodisc/Getty Images
If the penis-piercing guide was written by a well-meaning professional who lacked foresight, this guide on tattooing yourself was put together by a man who spent a decade in prison putting these skills to use and could not give less of a fuck if you infect yourself, because he's seen shit that makes your infection look like a chipped nail. If going to a tattoo parlor while drunk is ill-advised, this is the equivalent of stopping off while on your way to rescue your parents from a Terminator.
We're first told that getting a tattoo requires "desciplin," so make sure you have whatever that is. Next you need to assemble a tattoo gun like you're MacGyver after he stopped believing in germ theory. Just tie a needle to a pencil and you're pretty much good to go! Maybe wash the pencil "a bit," if you're a "germophobe or even a little paranoid." Those nutty paranoids, always going on about how "the CIA's monitoring my movements!" and "breaking your skin with unsanitary equipment can cause medical complications!" Wackos.
Image Source/Photodisc/Getty Images
Look at this crackpot. I bet he's all "controlled demolitions!" am I right?
Next, get drunk. Just enough to dull the pain, mind you, because tattooing yourself while you're hammered would be irresponsible. The author doesn't specify what kind of alcohol to drink, but I assume he's put together a guide for making bathtub gin with nothing more than rubbing alcohol, juniper berries, and "this totally kickass chemical my cousin Marco scored, yeah of course it's legit, what are you, a pussy?"
Then, once you sketch the anchor or flaming skull on your skin, it's time to get some ink on your needle and start stabbing yourself. This can take a while, so we're told to maybe throw on a movie or something. Yeah, because who needs to pay attention when they're tattooing themselves? Hell, invite a few friends over, start a game of beer pong. You really only need one free hand.
But OK, as much as I mock, I admit that it would give you some pretty serious street cred to tattoo yourself with nothing more than supplies you stole from work. And the end result has got to be pretty ... Christ, what the hell is that?
Via Hubpages.com
"No, seriously, that was all freehand."
Is that a knife made out of a corncob? Nobody's going to be impressed by that. They're going to wonder what sort of ridiculous bet you lost that forced you to go to the worst tattoo artist in all of the universe's population of organic life. It looks like a cattle brand for LARPers.
So I'll say it again, kids: Always get your body modifications done by a professional. We're about a step away from having guides on how to give yourself breast implants, and no one wants to see the results of that.
#4. How to Become Good at Knife Fighting
Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com
Much like learning to play an instrument or picking up a new language, mastering the art of knife fighting is one of those skills we'd all love to do but can never quite find the time for. But then you find yourself in a foreign country and/or in the midst of a battle between two surprisingly well-choreographed street gangs, and you'll curse yourself for watching that Who's the Boss? marathon when you could have been slashing noses open. Thankfully, there's a knife fighting guide you can quickly consult after you try to ask a surly Moldovan where the nearest washroom is and accidentally call his mother an unusually unattractive yet embarrassingly slutty goat.
If knife fighting seems like one of those skills you'd pick up from experience rather than fancy book learnin', you are absolutely correct. Step one might as well be "plan ahead by pre-emptively calling an ambulance. Be sure to mention your blood type!"
Via Wikihow.com
This is what the average knife fighter looks like, apparently. You do not want to fight someone who looks like this.
This guide is a mixture of the obvious and the insane. "Be physically fit" seems implied, because I've yet to see a movie where the heroes are intimidated by an obese henchman who needs a breather after he's introduced. But then there's the step where you "get faster reflexes." Well, OK. Sounds good in theory, but how? Become Spider-Man? I'm just joking, of course, that would be silly. You should play racing video games and run in the woods.
Part of me always knew that the countless hours I've sunk on Mario Kart and F-Zero would prepare me for fighting knife duels. "Don't fuck with me, man -- I won the Star Cup on 150cc mirror mode," I'll say, as my opponent's eyes widen in fear. "And do you know how many forests I've run through? Like, all of them. I make deer look like shit!" Hell, I'll never even have to fight if I can trash talk like that.
David De Lossy/Digital Vision/Getty Images
"See this shit? I ran it. Yeah, that's what I thought."
We're also advised to "never get nervous," although there are no suggestions as to how to magically master our emotions. Just picture the 6-foot speed freak waving a machete in your face as a cherry blossom tree swaying in a warm spring breeze, I guess.
And, of course, practice makes perfect. Well sure, but what post-apocalyptic wasteland do you live in where you can get knife fighting practice on a regular basis? Is this part of a guide for being a Shadowrunner? I feel like if you're getting practice sessions, you don't need to consult an Internet guide, because you're already either pretty good or pretty short of a functional jugular.
Via Wikihow.com
"Whoa there, buddy. Not cool bringing those guns to a knife fight."
Speaking of which, the guide wraps up with a warning that we should always think about the consequences of knife fighting, because "Stitches, surgery, and perhaps a slow and painful death may await the person who loses." Are you saying that after all this awesome advice I could still lose? Goddammit, how many forests do I have to run through?


text:
Top Definition
A white girl who loves to be double teamed by two large black men.
Jane's a nasty bitch; Tyrone and Ray Dogg made her an Oklahoma biscuit last night.
DJ Travi-TRONによって 2012年01月20日(金)
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
An Oklahoma biscuit is a large, grotesque, venereal wart covering the entire head of a penis. Not to confused with a Pennsylvania ridge line
That girl is so ugly, it looks like someone pounded her in the face with an Oklahoma Biscuit
Barnwoodによって 2012年01月20日(金)


text:
HONOLULU (AP) - The White House on Sunday released lists for each state of potential effects of the automatic spending cuts that are set to take effect this week.
The White House compiled the numbers from federal agencies and its own budget office. The numbers are based only on the $85 billion in cuts for this fiscal year, from March to September
As to whether states could move money around to cover shortfalls, the White House said that depends on state budget structures and the specific programs. The White House did not have a list of which states or programs might have flexibility.
The cuts that could happen in Hawaii include:
* Military Funding: Approximately 20,000 civilian Department of Defense employees would be furloughed, reducing gross pay by around $134.1 million. Funding for Army base operation would be cut by about $106 million, while funding for Air Force operations would be cut by about $15 million. Maintenance and repair of the USS Chafee could be canceled.
* Teachers and Schools: Hawaii will lose about $4.7 million in funding for primary and secondary education, putting around 60 teacher and aide jobs at risk. In addition, about 9,000 fewer students would be served and approximately 20 fewer schools would receive funding. The state will also lose about $2 million in funds for about 20 teachers, aides and staff who help children with disabilities. Head Start and Early Head Start services would be eliminated for approximately 200 children.
* Environmental Funding: Hawaii would lose about $1.3 million in funding to ensure clean water and air quality, as well as to prevent pollution from pesticides and hazardous waste. The state could lose another $359,000 in grants for fish and wildlife protection.
* Law Enforcement: Hawaii will lose about $79,000 in grants that support law enforcement, prosecution and courts, crime prevention and education, corrections and community corrections, drug treatment and enforcement, and crime victim and witness initiatives.
* Unemployment: Hawaii will lose about $111,000 in funding for job search assistance, referral and placement for around 4,130 unemployed people.
* Public Health: Hawaii will lose approximately $130,000 in funds to help upgrade its ability to respond to public health threats. The state will also lose about $380,000 in grants to help prevent and treat substance abuse, and about $52,000 in funding for vaccinations for children.
* Seniors: Hawaii would lose approximately $189,000 in funds that provide meals for seniors.
* Women: Hawaii could lose up to $29,000 in funds that provide services to victims of domestic violence.


text:
CAT Scan Center - Palm Beach Gardens, FL
- WebMD Physician Directory of Palm Beach Gardens Doctors
- Related CAT Scan Articles
- Palm Beach Gardens Emergency Contacts
- Nearby Palm Beach Gardens Hospitals
- Find a Local Pharmacy on RxList - Palm Beach Gardens
Palm Beach Gardens Doctors and Specialists for CAT Scan
CT Scan (Computerized Tomography)
CT scan facts
- CT scanning adds X-ray images with the aid of a computer to generate cross-sectional views of a patient's anatomy.
- CT scanning can identify normal and abnormal structu...
Other Related CAT Scan Articles
Emergency Contact for Palm Beach Gardens
- In case of Emergency, call 911
Nearby Palm Beach Gardens Hospitals results
- 1Palm Beach Gardens Medical Ctr
3360 Burns Rd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33410
(561) 622-141
- 2Kindred Hospital Palm Beaches
5555 W Blue Heron Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33418
(561) 840-075
- 3VA Medical Center
7305 N Military Trl
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33410
(561) 422-826
- 4Jupiter Medical Center
1210 S Old Dixie Hwy
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33458
(561) 747-223
- 5West Palm Hospital
2201 45th St
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33407
(561) 842-614
- 6Gerome Golden Center
1041 45th St Frnt
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33407
(561) 383-800
- 7St Mary's Medical Center
901 45th St
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33407
(561) 844-630
- 8Good Samaritan Medical Center
1309 N Flagler Dr
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33401
(561) 655-551
- 9Sandy Pines
11301 SE Tequesta Ter
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33469
(561) 744-021
- 10Palms West Hospital
13001 Southern Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33470
(561) 798-330
- 11Wellington Regional Medical Ctr
10101 Forest Hill Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33414
(561) 798-850
- 12John F Kennedy Medical Center
5301 S Congress Ave
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33462
(561) 965-730
- 13AG Holley State Hospital
1199 Lantana Rd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33462
(561) 582-566
- 14Martin Memorial Hospital South
2100 SE Salerno Rd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 34997
(772) 223-230
- 15Bethesda Hospital West
9655 Boynton Beach Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33472
(561) 336-700
- 16Bethesda Memorial Hospital
2815 S Seacrest Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33435
(561) 737-773
- 17Martin Memorial Medical Center
200 SE Hospital Ave
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 34994
(772) 287-520
- 18Delray Medical Center
5352 Linton Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33484
(561) 498-444
- 19Fair Oaks Pavilion
5440 Linton Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33484
(561) 495-100
- 20Pinecrest Rehabilitation Hosp
5360 Linton Blvd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33484
(561) 495-040
- 21Alternatives In Treatment
7601 N Federal Hwy
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33487
(561) 998-086
- 22St Lucie Medical Center
1800 SE Tiffany Ave
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 34952
(772) 335-400
- 23Port St Lucie Hospital
2550 SE Walton Rd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 34952
(772) 335-040
- 24Boca Raton Regional Hospital
800 Meadows Rd
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33486
(561) 395-710
* Provider Directory Terms of Use:
The WebMD 'Provider Directory' is provided by WebMD for use by the general public as a quick reference of information about Providers. The Provider Directory is not intended as a tool for verifying the credentials, qualifications, or abilities of any Provider contained therein. Inclusion in the Provider Directory does not imply recommendation or endorsement nor does omission in the Provider Directory imply WebMD disapproval.
You are prohibited from using, downloading, republishing, selling, duplicating, or "scraping" for commercial or any other purpose whatsoever, the Provider Directory or any of the data listings or other information contained therein, in whole or in part, in any medium whatsoever.
The Provider Directory is provided on an "AS-IS" basis. WebMD disclaims all warranties, either express or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for particular purpose. Without limiting the foregoing, WebMD does not warrant or represent that the Provider Directory or any part thereof is accurate or complete. You assume full responsibility for the communications with any Provider you contact through the Provider Directory. WebMD shall in no event be liable to you or to anyone for any decision made or action taken by you in the reliance on information provided in the Provider Directory.
The use of WebMD Provider Directory by any entity or individual to verify the credentials of Providers is prohibited. The database of Provider information which drives WebMD Provider Directory does not contain sufficient information with which to verify Provider credentials under the standards of the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO), National Committee for Quality Assurance (NCQA) of the Utilization Review Accreditation Committee (URAC).
By using the WebMD Provider Directory, you agree to these Terms and Conditions.


text:
LAKE TAHOE — The Tahoe Regional Planning Agency is encouraging local residents and part-time homeowners to become "wildfire aware" by taking advantage of public education activities during Lake Tahoe Wildfire Awareness Week happening May 26 to June 3.
"With the fifth anniversary of the Angora fire coming up, this is a good opportunity for our community to discuss the importance of wildfire awareness," said Joanne Marchetta, Executive Director of TRPA, in a Thursday statement.
The theme of this year's Lake Tahoe Wildfire Awareness Week is "Your Home —Your Responsibility." The goal is to encourage homeowners and residents to gain the knowledge and skills to prepare their homes and property to survive wildfires and know how to evacuate safely.
Tahoe Basin fire agencies and partners, including TRPA and the University of California and Nevada Cooperative Extensions, are sponsoring a series of free webinars to help individuals and communities learn how to become more prepared. Each webinar will be held from noon to 1 p.m. and will be recorded and archived for later viewing.
To learn more about the webinar series and other Lake Tahoe Wildfire Awareness Week events visit www.livingwithfire.info/tahoe.


text:
TRUCKEE, Calif. - The City of San Diego leases popular Camp Balboa and the Youth Aquatic Center to the Boy Scouts. Camp Balboa offers an urban camping opportunity in the heart of San Diego and the Youth Aquatic Center on Fiesta Island in Mission Bay Park is used for aquatic activities like kayaking, canoeing and sailing. The leases cost the Scouts a dollar a year in rent but extensive capital improvements are required.
Plaintiffs Allege Discrimination
A lesbian couple and an agnostic couple sued the City and the Scouts claiming that because of their sexual orientation and religious beliefs, they cannot be Boy Scout volunteers. Further, they refuse to use the leased (public) parks because of the Boy Scouts "repugnant" discriminatory policies. The suit alleges violations of California's Constitutional "No Aid" Clause, Establishment Clause and Equal Protection Clause; and makes similar federal constitutional claims.
In short, the Plaintiffs allege San Diego is aiding the Scouts who are discriminatory; and the leases are "direct aid" of public property by the City for a religious purpose.
Scout's Honor
The federal Court of Appeals wrote, "While Scouting focuses primarily on outdoor activity, the Boy Scouts' rules include a prohibition against allowing youths or adults who are atheists, agnostics, or homosexuals to be members or volunteers." All Scout members and volunteers take an oath to "do my best to do my duty to God and my country," and to remain "morally straight." (I want to comment on that - but won't.)
Plaintiffs do not challenge the Boy Scouts' right to hold discriminatory views or arbitrarily limit their membership based on their views, but they object to the Scouts' favorable leases of Balboa Park and the Youth Aquatic Center from the City.
As you may recall, in 2000 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled the Scouts have a constitutional right to exclude homosexuals. This case centered on whether the City was aiding the Boy Scouts in violation of the California and U.S. Constitutions which prohibit "aid of any religious sect, church, creed, or sectarian purpose."
The Court of Appeals overturned the trial judge and ruled in favor of the City and Scouts. The Court noted that San Diego leases portions of city lands to 123 nonprofit organizations, almost all of which were secular and not religious. Certainly there was no preference for religion or any religious organization. The City's leases to the Scouts served the public interest and provided no more than "incidental benefit" to religion.
The leases do not violate federal or California law.
Concurring Opinion
The concurring judge agreed with the majority Opinion ruling for the Scouts and the City, but would have denied the Plaintiffs' "standing" to sue in the first place, keeping them out of court, writing: "Revulsion for a group (Scouts) so intense that one cannot bear to be on property they manage (City leased land) cannot, in a tolerant society, be deemed harm sufficiently concrete to confer standing to sue."
Jim Porter is an attorney with Porter Simon licensed in California and Nevada, with offices in Truckee and Tahoe City, California, and Reno, Nevada. He was the Governor's appointee to the California Fair Political Practices Commission and McPherson Commission, both involving election law and the Political Reform Act. Jim's practice areas include: real estate, development, construction, business, HOAs, contracts, foreclosures, mediation and other transactional matters. He may be reached at email@example.com or at the firm's website www.portersimon.com


text:
Saturday, April 12, 2014
This is the story of children who didnt fall through the cracks. Something stopped their fall.
For 25 Berkeley County students, that something varies. It ranges from overcoming anger issues to joining ROTC to making the move from the big city to the big country. But the catalysts are only part of the story since, as educators noted, it took each individual choosing to better himself or herself to make them successful.
On April 9, Berkeley County School District invited those students and their families to the annual Turnaround Achievement Awards held at Westview Middle in Goose Creek.
Each one of us has a light bulb inside of our head somewhere When that light is not on, some of us are in darker places than others, district Superintendent Rodney Thompson said during the gala. When the lights off, we tend to blame others When the light comes on, we start taking responsibility for our actions. I see a lot of bright, shining lights in this room, and I look forward to the light youre going to shine on others in the future.
The program began 16 years ago with partner Royal Z Bowling Lanes sponsoring the program for three school districts in South Carolina. The sponsorship ended three years into the program, and Berkeley County School District principals decided to keep up the program since.
Berkeley County senior Darius Ellington attended the gala and was one of the students recognized for his accomplishments.
Problems with Darius began after he lost his father in April 2009, according to his aunts Jackie Dawson and Marrie Dingle who now care for him in Moncks Corner. Previously, Darius was living in Brooklyn.
They were tight, Dawson said. That loss put a big dent in his life.
Darius said he had little interest in school prior to moving to the country. But after the move two years ago, the fewer distractions and the heavy emphasis on education by his family, he started putting more effort into his education.
Berkeley High principal Steven Steele said Darius came to BHS as a junior with only four of the 24 credits needed to graduate. Within two years, he earned the 20 credits. Steele said Darius did that by attending online school, summer school, and more.
If he didnt want it, it wouldnt have happened, Steele said. All children are offered that but not all take advantage of it he did He rose to the expectation and he chose to do that. He committed himself to that.
But while the turnaround couldnt have happened without Darius on board, Darius also credits his family for the change in his studies.
My aunts kept up with me, Darius said.
We stayed up late at night, got up early in the morning. And I constantly quizzed him and worked with him, Dingle said.
It took some getting used to, Darius smiled. Now he works as an intern at All State in Moncks Corner.
Darius has plans on attending Trident Technical College before transferring to another school. He said hes interested in pursuing a career in business and dealing with numbers.
Its pretty much wide open now, he said.
Darius family like all the other families at the gala beamed with pride at his accomplishments.
To excel in two years, to over-achieve thats a big plus. It should carry him onto his future endeavors, cousin DJ Dingle said. He just proved to himself what hes capable of.
Here are the names of this years recipients:
Katelyn Dekker, Boulder Bluff Elementary
TyMone Semaj Ronald Mack, Cainhoy Elementary/Middle
Jaelun Fitzgerald, Berkeley Middle
Gregoria Soto-Prieto, Berkeley Middle
Julie Howard, Cane Bay Middle
DeAndre Richardson, College Park Middle
Destiny Gadson, Cross High
Trevor Porter, Hanahan Middle
Thomas Moody, Macedonia Middle
Josh Shumak, Marrington Middle
Shanerio McHoney, St. Stephen Middle
Caleb Young, Sangaree Middle
Alexia Williams, Sedgefield Middle
Janie Woltz, Westview Middle
Adina Norris, Berkeley Middle College
Darius Ellington, Berkeley High
Kristin Ortiz, Cane Bay High
Cleveland Singleton, Cane Bay High
Jonathan Fontaine, Cross High
Xiomara Elisabeth Chavarria, Goose Creek High
Christopher Lee Theriot, Goose Creek High
Maurice Grant, Hanahan High
Austin Moore, Hanahan High
Sean Jenkins, Stratford High
Michael Ferguson, Timberland High
Turnaround students will go on a special field trip May 19 with Dragon Boat of Charleston.
© 2016 The Berkeley Independent an Evening Post Industries company. All Rights Reserved.
Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Parental Consent Form.


text:
American Public University System announces School of Public Service and Health Promotions
May 5, 2013
CHARLES TOWN — American Public University System has announced the following promotions in the School of Public Service and Health. New Program Directors ¯ Dr....
ok , i take it back. APU is an awesome educational institution. they take no funding from walmart. they dont accept walmart work experience for class credit, and they do an excellent job following the rules in the financial aid department. and lastly, for profit schools are great. schools should be more about making money and less about providing a quality education. I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT.
0 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
"because you read something on Google"
0 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Wow unsilentmajority I would watch out if I was you for your slanderous comments! It is obvious you have some kind of vendetta with APUS. NONE of what you say is true but is slanderous. Do you work at this institution? Or are you one of the leadership team or a professor or how bout a student? Were in the world did you get this stuff? Posting these sort of comment just because you read something on Google is presumptuous!
1 Agrees | 1 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
"What I said was true. Do some research."
I did and nowhere did I find that APU is funded "primarilary" by Walmart. No,I do not have an online degree and I also have zero connection with APU, however, I detest haters like you who lie and distort. I would suggest that you go back to whoever gave you your degree and ask them the correct spelling for "primarilary", you will find that you cannot even spell correctly. You also may want to find out the definition of the correct word "primarily". Maybe then you can understand the difference between a company offering education funding for employees and Walmart "primarily" funding APU.
3 Agrees | 1 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Lastly, most that enroll do not complete. They simply apply, get financial aid, and then quit. That's the reason for the investigation.
1 Agrees | 1 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
And one more thing, most colleges are not "for profit" institutions. But most online crap schools like APU are. I bet you went to an online college and are oh so proud of the overpriced joke of an education that you received. And yes, they receive huge funding from Walmart, in fact working at Walmart will gladly substitute many classes at APU. It is a fact.
1 Agrees | 1 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Dear reality check,
You are incorrect and obviously incapable of using google to verify my points. What I said was true. Do some research.
0 Agrees | 2 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
"The "college", and I use that term very very loosely, is a for profit institution funded primarilary by WALMART."
That's an OUTRIGHT LIE. The reason they are hiring is because they are growing. This sounds like sour grapes. I don't believe APU is out forcing anyone to enroll. And Of coarse it's a "for profit" business, do you know of any business that is a "for lost profit" operation. That makes you wonder where "Unsilentmajority" went to school.
2 Agrees | 1 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
The "college", and I use that term very very loosely, is a for profit institution funded primarilary by WALMART. Yes, look it up. This is a diploma mill and nothing more. Most of the professors are "graduates" of other shoddy online universities. This school is an absolute joke. It has been accused of fraud on many levels, look it up. The financial aide dept is under investigation. They will accept absolutely anyone with a pulse. The administration is concerned with making money and nothing else. The "professors" are concerned with putting virtual******in virtual seats. This school is a joke. They even have their own online mercenaries that delete and remove all negative press about this joke of a school. Read this comment while you can before the APU Gestapo pay the Journal to remove it. DO NOT PAY THIS SCHOOL FOR A FAKE EDUCATION. The professors are dumber than the students. It's unfortunate really. Also, APU is always hiring, makes you wonder why in t
2 Agrees | 2 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Ah yes, not Ivy, but all fine schools in the Honeysuckle, Kudzu, and Locoweed Leagues.
0 Agrees | 0 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Showing 10 of 10 comments


text:
Alex Karras, former NFL defensive lineman, dies at 77
DETROIT (AP) ? He was one of the NFL's most feared defensive tackles throughout the 1960s, but to many people, Alex Karras will always be the cowboy who punched a horse in "Blazing Saddles" or the lovable dad from the sitcom "Webster."
Karras died today at his home in Los Angeles. He was 77.
He had recently suffered kidney failure and been diagnosed with dementia. His former team, the Detroit Lions, says he also had heart disease and stomach cancer.
In April, Karras joined more than 3,500 football veterans suing the NFL for not doing enough to protect them from head injuries.
His wife, actress Susan Clark, says Karras' quality of life had deteriorated in recent years because of head injuries he sustained during his playing career. She says he had to give up driving and couldn't remember recipes for some of the favorite Italian and Greek dishes he used to cook.
Karras starred for four years at Iowa and was drafted in 1958 by Detroit, where he was a four-time All-Pro defensive tackle over 12 seasons with the franchise.
In his second career, Karras also had roles in "Porky's," ''Against All Odds" and "Victor/Victoria."
Source: Associated Press


text:
Our unique organization around Core Faculty labs, scientific Programs and scientific Platforms allows us to generate a lot of data and develop the cutting edge software tools to analyze those data. And we are committed to sharing all of it openly with the entire scientific community.
The Broad's Platforms are teams of professional scientists who bring the expertise and organization to collaborate on challenging projects that could not be done within a single research laboratory.
The Broad's Programs bring together scientists from across multiple institutions, working together to address major challenges in specific diseases or disciplines.
Data and software tools to analyze those data, which are generated from across the Broad Institute's multiple areas of scientific inquiry, are shared openly with the entire research community.
Core Faculty laboratories are similar to traditional laboratories in their structure and membership, but very different in their location and daily scientific interactions across the Broad Institute.
Copyright © 2016 Broad Institute. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy Terms & Conditions Intranet


text:
NBA Trade Rumors are all over the place right now. Despite the fact the NBA's trade deadline is still several weeks away, the rumors are coming fast and furious, and it's a good bet that at least some of the names that are being tossed about will be on the move in the near future.
Among the names we're hearing a lot are Mike Dunleavy and Andrei Kirilenko. Dunleavy, the Indiana Pacers swingman, is in the last year of his contract and there really doesn't seem to be much reason for the Pacers to keep him. As for Kirilenko, the Utah Jazz small forward is rumored to be the New Jersey Nets' Plan B in the event the Carmelo Anthony deal finally falls apart.
Indeed, until further notice, there are always 'Melo rumors. Will he go to New Jersey? Will he stay in Denver? Will the New York Knicks come up with an offer that the Nuggets can't refuse?
Suffice it to say that there's a lot to discuss, and we aim to do just that. For all the latest NBA trade rumors, just keep it here and we'll keep you posted.


text:
Bobby Thomson hits the "shot heard 'round the world," Woody Guthrie passes away, Germany comes together, and O.J. Simpson is found not guilty, all on this day.
1949: WERD, the first black-owned radio station in the United States, opens in Atlanta, Georgia. The station, headquartered in the same building as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Southern Christian Leadership Conference, would play a pivotal role in the Civil Rights Movement.


text:
In the duo's first promo for the Jan. 13 awards show, their brand of quirky comedy shines through.
"Amy Poehler and I are very excited to be hosting the Golden Globes this year," Fey begins.
"Because it's the greatest celebrity party slash awards show in all of Hollywood!" Poehler adds.
"We're so excited, we're going to be speaking in classic Hollywood voices for all our banter!" Fey says.
With nominees announced Thursday, Anne Hathaway and Sally Field (for their respective supporting roles in Les Misérables and Lincoln), Nicole Kidman (for HBO's Hemingway and Gellhorn and the film The Paperboy), Leonardo DiCaprio (for his supporting role in Django Unchained) and Argo director Ben Affleck were all recognized.
The awards, presented by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, will air live from the Beverly Hilton on Jan. 13.


text:
From SOSwiki
(New page: Cross listed with AA 547 and ME 547. * Instructor: Eric Klavins (email@example.com) * TA: Chris Takahashi (email@example.com) * Lecture: Mo, We, Fr 1130a - 1220p * Discussion section: Tu: 1130a - 1...)
|Line 5:
|Line 5:
* Lecture: Mo, We, Fr 1130a - 1220p
* Lecture: Mo, We, Fr 1130a - 1220p
* Discussion section: Tu: 1130a - 1220p
* Discussion section: Tu: 1130a - 1220p
* Place:
* Place: 202
= Overview =
= Overview =
Revision as of 18:04, 25 September 2013
Cross listed with AA 547 and ME 547.
- Instructor: Eric Klavins (firstname.lastname@example.com)
- TA: Chris Takahashi (email@example.com)
- Lecture: Mo, We, Fr 1130a - 1220p
- Discussion section: Tu: 1130a - 1220p
- Place: LOW 202
This course is an introduction to linear systems theory. It serves as the foundation for most of modern feedback control theory and is a prerequisite for most advanced controls courses. The course covers linear I/O systems in both discrete and continuous time. There is a strong emphasis on supporting results in linear algebra such as similarity, Jordan form, positive definiteness, and so on. Systems are represented in both state space and in frequency domain. The notions of controllability and observability are introduced and examined in some depth. Finally, we introduce several methods for designing feedback controllers and state estimators.
- Chi-Tsong Chen, Linear Systems Theory and Design, 3rd or 4th Edition, Oxford University Press, 1999.
There will be a written homework assignment due every Monday (or Tuesday if Monday is a holiday). Homework cannot be turned in late for credit. We will endeavor to post written solutions of the homeworks within five days of when they are due and to return graded homeworks within seven days. There will be approximately ten homeworks and they will account for 1/4 of the grade in the class.
Midterm and Final
There will be a midterm on Nov. 6 and a final at the university scheduled time on Dec. 16. The midterm and final are each worth 1/4 of the grade in the class.
Students will build a model of a system relevant to their research and then apply the analytical and control design techniques we learn in this class to that model, and to the models of other students in the class. The project is worth 1/4 the grade in the class. Some homework assignments will also involve working on the project.
We will cover chapters 1-6, chapter 8 and possibly chapter 9 of the textbook. My lecture style is to use the whiteboard almost exclusively.
More Course Materials
All course materials will be kept in a Google Drive, accessible to students in the class. Please contact Chris if you are having trouble viewing / posting documents.


text:
|Know How to Stay Safe After a Hurricane
For Immediate Release
Contact: Kyla Kruse, 217-546-6815
Know How to Stay Safe After a Hurricane
Give Your Family "TLC"
(SPRINGFIELD, Ill.) — Televised reports of natural disasters where wind is involved frequently display electrical arcs from power lines and damaged transformers. While spectacular in nature, they also illustrate the potential electrocution danger associated with natural disasters. Hurricanes can tear apart the electrical grid, increasing the danger for both the public and utility workers.
When Hurricane Hugo struck Puerto Rico in 1989 all nine fatalities were from electrocution, and four people who lost their lives were working to restore power after the storm. Three others died when they touched energized power lines. Hurricane Isabel's strike against North America in 2003 was blamed for the deaths of three utility workers who were removing lines from tree branches. In 2011, electrocution fatalities from Hurricane Irene included a man who tried to save his neighbors—a father and his 5-year-old son—who had come in contact with a fence that was electrified by a downed electrical line. The five-year-old was in critical condition for two weeks before losing his life as well.
"Power lines can be dangerous for anyone, even professionals," says Molly Hall, Safe Electricity Executive Director. "It is important for everyone to understand the dangers of electricity."
Safe Electricity initiated "Teach Learn Care TLC," an electrical safety awareness campaign to encourage everyone to "Teach what you know, Learn what you need to, and Care enough to share it with those you love."
"TLC is the fabric of preparedness," says Hall. "Remember TLC to ensure that loved ones know about electrical hazards that can be left in a disaster's wake."
Important safety measures include:
Make sure everyone knows what to do in the event of a disaster. To learn more about safety in the wake of storms, visit www.SafeElectricity.org.
# # #
The Energy Education Council is a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization dedicated to promoting electrical safety and energy efficiency. Established in 1952, the Council is headquartered within the University of Illinois Extension, and serves as a forum for diverse utility and energy organizations to collaborate on the mutually vital issues of efficiency and safety. Learn more at www.EnergyEdCouncil.org.


text:
Coroner IDs man shot multiple times by Erie police following bank robbery (Updated: 2:45 p.m.)
An Erie man was shot multiple times by city police when he drew a gun on officers who tried to stop him after he had robbed an eastside credit union on Wednesday afternoon, investigators in the shooting case said this afternoon.
Erie County Coroner Lyell Cook identified the man as Dionne Jordan, 30. Jordan was shot multiple times, and his death was ruled a homicide, Cook said.
An autopsy is still being performed on Jordan, who was pronounced dead on Wednesday at 3:10 p.m. behind the Tops Friendly Markets on East 38th Street.
Erie Police Chief Randy Bowers said Jordan had robbed the Widget Financial branch on East 38th Street shortly after 2:30 p.m. He said Jordan had a gun during the robbery and repeatedly threatened to shoot employees while he stole money from multiple locations inside the credit union.
Bowers said Jordan ran north from the credit union and went through a wooded area before reaching a sport utility vehicle he had parked behind the grocery store. Police confronted Jordan there and repeatedly told Jordan to stop, but he ignored their commands. Jordan then went into the vehicle, came back out and drew his weapon on the officers when he was shot, Bowers said.
Four police officers involved in the shooting are on administrative leave pending the outcome of an investigation into the shooting by Erie County detectives and the FBI.
See Friday's Erie Times-News and GoErie.com for more coverage.


text:
Private Actions Under the Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act
Milton R. Schroeder
Arizona State University (ASU) - Sandra Day O'Connor College of Law
California Law Review, Vol. 66, p.1, 1978
In this Article, Professor Schroeder examines the changes that the Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act brings to the law of consumer product warranties. Particular emphasis is given to the relationship between the Act and the Uniform Commercial Code and to the ambiguities created by the language of the Act. The federal action is parallel to and does not supplant state warranty remedies because the Act provides it does not restrict any 'right or remedy of any consumer under State law or any other Federal law.' Since the consumer may recover all litigation expenses, including attorneys' fees, in a successful Magnuson-Moss action, bringing a warranty action as a matter of federal rather than state law has advantages. There are, however, important differences between warranty recovery under Magnuson-Moss and under state law. This Article explores the new federal warranty law and compares it with the law of warranty which has developed under the Uniform Commercial Code (U.C.C.).
Number of Pages in PDF File: 36
Keywords: Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act, Uniform Commercial Code, consumer
Date posted: August 31, 2009
Suggested Citation
Contact Information
© 2016 Social Science Electronic Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
Contact Us
This page was processed by apollobot1 in 0.203 seconds


text:
See images from Himawari-8 in the new satellite viewer
This demonstration product is most suitable for people
with fast internet connection and high data allowance.
Low-definition satellite images
Satellite View Selection
15:30 AWST on Saturday 24 September 2016 | Cloud/surface composite, Australia
Images from Japan Meteorological Agency satellite Himawari 8 via Bureau of Meteorology.
IDY28000 Australian Government Bureau of Meteorology Bureau National Operations Centre Satellite Notes for the 0000UTC Chart on 25 September 2016 Issued at 11:00 am EST Sunday on 25 September 2016 The cold front that brought a significant cloud band and associated rain to southeast Australia has now moved off the east coast. Some low level cloud can be seen left in its wake. A second weaker cold front and associated cloud band extends over the far southwest of WA. A high centered over SA keeps the remainder of the continent relatively cloud free.


text:
Quinoa Tabbouleh {Food Matters Project}
I think you learn the most about someone through their food. You can ask them all sorts of questions, listen to their stories, but the easiest and quickest way to learn about anyone is through the food they like to eat and make. I had that experience through this recipe!
Quinoa Tabbouleh
from Mark Bittman's Food Matters Cookbook
1/2 c quinoa, rinsed and drained
1/3 c olive oil, more as needed
1/4 c lemon juice, or more as needed
black pepper
1 c roughly chopped fresh parsley
1 c roughly chopped fresh mint
1 c cooked or canned white or pink beans, drained, optional
6 or 7 radishes, chopped
1/2 c chopped scallions
2 ripe tomatoes, chopped
about 6 black olives, pitted and chopped, or to taste, optional
2 celery stalks, chopped
1/4 c chopped pistachios or almonds, optional
Put the quinoa in a small saucepan with 3/4 c water and a pinch of salt. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium-low. Cover and bubble gently until the quinoa as absorbed all of the water, 15 minutes or so. Remove from the heat and let rest, covered for 5 minutes. Toss the warm quinoa with the oil and lemon juice and sprinkle with pepper.
Just before you're ready to eat, add the remaining ingredients and toss gently. Taste and adjust the seasoning, adding more oil or lemon juice as needed, then serve.


text:
Source: Reuters
quote: The switch to ARM's Cortex-A5x series intellectual property (IP) cores could save AMD on engineering overhead. Versus the company's current monolithic complex instruction set computer (CISC) x86 cores, which are designed entirely in house, AMD's will only have to tweak, improve, and otherwise performance tune the IP-cores from ARM.AMD has not announced plans to discontinue development of monolithic x86 cores, but given the high costs and AMD's continual struggles with profit, it would not be surprising to see AMD make that move once it jumps on the ARM train. For now, AMD's greatest market success is leveraging its GPU product in CPU+GPU "accelerated processing units" (APUs), which have been scoring many laptop design wins.


text:
More children are overweight today than ever before and the numbers are rising. Overweight children and teens experience more health problems which can worsen as they grow into adulthood.
Yet parents, teachers, health care providers and policy makers struggle with what to do to address this serious problem.
The public is invited to participate in a community forum to discuss what can be done to encourage healthy weights among our children and youth.
The West Virginia Wesleyan College Sociology Department is sponsoring a community forum on childhood obesity and access to quality nutrition in the Buckhannon area at 7 p.m. today in the Social Hall in the Benedum Campus Center.
Dr. William Neil, head of Pediatric Cardiology at West Virginia University, will present a brief overview of childhood obesity and its health consequences.
Following Neil's presentation, student researchers from WVWC will discuss the results of a recent study of local accessibility to quality nutrition in the Buckhannon area to begin an open discussion about the resources Buckhannon already has which can address this issue.
The forum will bring together members of the community in a thoughtful conversation about what can be done to address the issue of childhood obesity in our community.
The goal of the forum is to consider individual, organizational, and community responses to the rising rate of childhood obesity.
Officials hope opportunities for community action will emerge from this discussion that will be best implemented by a partnership among the agencies and organizations in our community.
Interested parties can email firstname.lastname@example.com for more information.


text:
5 Reasons You Don't Miss Your 20s When They're Over
People tend to look back on their youth with rose colored glasses, which is fine because if you lived your life without the ability to filter out every little shitty thing that happened to you, you'd go insane. But there is this weird thing with your early 20s, where Hollywood portrays them as the fastest, wildest, road-trippingest years of your life ... but in the real world it's the age when suicide rates suddenly double.
So which is it? Are these the years everyone looks back on fondly? Or some of the hardest times of your life? Well, I've been out of my 20s for nearly a decade and I gotta say, that period when TV says you should be carefree and playing wacky fraternity pranks on your buds? From my experience, those rose colored glasses just show me rose colored turds. Mainly because ...
#5. You're in the Last Stages of Cool
Let's take music as an example.
In high school, music isn't just a matter of personal preference, it defines what social team you're on. In my school, the rednecks listened to country, the tough guys listened to metal, the weird kids had the alternative stuff. What came out of people's car speakers was as important as the clothes they wore, or the slang they used. And each group was grading how "cool" an outsider was by whether they liked that same music.
"Have you guys heard the new Creed son- OH GOD, WHY DID YOU STAB ME?"
Then at some point in your 20s, you get to experience the bitchslap realization that the music you loved as a teenager was specifically designed to appeal to teenagers. And man, I'm telling you, it happens all at once. You'll flip around the radio or turn on one of the MTV channels that still plays music, and suddenly it hits you that what you're hearing is just absolute shit.
It's because you've entered a state of adulthood that just isn't represented in music at all. You'll know when you've reached it because the music designed for teenagers now seems shallow and ridiculous, the stuff that's supposed to be "dark" and "soulful" suddenly sounds laughable and trite. Suddenly, every band is an inferior ripoff of something awesome you heard when you were 15. It's the reason your parents thought the same thing about your music when you were that age.
"Have you guys heard the new ABBA so- PUNCHING MY FACE IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE!"
So, you still have a part of you that wants to declare membership to a social group by liking their music, but now you don't like that group's music and, in fact, suspect that the music they're listening to now is bullshit.
But the music is just a symptom. Because now you look at the 16-year-old kids that, if you were 16, would be the kids you would hang around with, and suddenly see nothing cool about them.
But you're also not old, you're certainly not ready to turn into your Dad, proudly listening to Skynyrd in the garage and drunkenly proclaiming it to be the last "real" music ever made. You're still more likely to play pranks at Halloween than chase pranksters off your lawn. You're on a seesaw that straddles teenager and adulthood.
Yep, you look totally natural, buddy.
And it's the same with everything that could be used to define you. Like clothes. If you try to dress in whatever teenage fad is in style that month, you look like a creepy old guy who's desperately trying to look cool. If you resign yourself to dressing like what catalogs say adults should look like, you've just kissed goodbye any chance that you'll ever be cool again. This is why you go to a college campus and half the people just wear their pajamas to class. They're out of ideas.
When you get into your 30s, you get a little more resigned about this stuff -- you've reached the point where if you show up at a Justin Bieber concert, girls start ducking away and dialing three digits on their cell phones. There is no maintaining the illusion that you're young and cool. I've got to say, it feels good to finally let go of it. But damn the actual act of letting go is hard.
#4. Your Ego Gets Punched in the Dick
A guy I went to college with -- we'll call him Meatneck Flabalanche -- was known in high school as the class clown. He was exactly the same as the one in your school: loud, brash, would literally eat a live child if it made eyes turn his way.
The very first day in college, he started his routine in class, jumping in with "that's what she said!" when the professor said anything that left even the tiniest opening, using the lab's beakers like props from a Carrot Top show, you get the idea. Lighting his farts.
You know the type.
Anyway, that lasted about a minute and a half before the teacher finally had enough and just flat-out stopped her class and addressed him directly. "I'm assuming this is your first year of college so I'm going to give you exactly five minutes' worth of leeway. The next time you interrupt my class for any reason, you won't be attending it." And that was it. Shut down on the spot. As far as the school was concerned, that was his last trip to the "look at me" well ... because in college, there is no trip to the principal's office. Get kicked out of enough classes, and they boot your ass completely out of school. And all at once, there was no venue for the show this guy had spent his entire childhood perfecting.
This kind of thing winds up being the first in a long line of mindfuck realities that completely change how you view high school when you look back on it. High school is hard while you're there -- those are tough-ass years. But once you're out, you look back and realize that everything about the system was built to make it easier to succeed. Society needs you to get that diploma, and will do everything it can to drag you across the finish line. You were praised for getting a good score on a test. If you win a big game, you're revered. Hell, most schools even give out awards for perfect attendance.
You couldn't do math for fuck, but you did show up. Good job, Jennifer!
Then when you graduate, all of that gets stuffed into a cannon and shot into the sun. That is literally the last time society forces success on you. Suddenly it's, "We don't give a shit whether you succeed or not. If you mess up this (job/degree/relationship) there are a million people waiting in line behind you ready to take it."
You're quickly met with the dead, limp reality of, "All that ego-stroking? Yeah, that was bullshit we do to grease your way through your training period. Now you've been trained. Here's your shovel, help us move this shit pile from here to there." And though you may turn out to be the best shit shoveler who ever shoveled some shit, there's not likely to be any celebration for your shit technique and impeccable shit ethic. You did what you were paid to do. "Come back tomorrow and do it some more, or we'll get somebody else."
This starts all over again when you start your career, when suddenly everything you accomplished in the classroom up to that point again counts for jack shit. You're the new guy, there's one spot you can be promoted to, and there are six guys in line to get it who've all been working there since the '90s. And until they hire someone else, you will always be known as "the new guy." I used to work as the computer guy for an auto dealership, and we had the same "new guy" for two years before they hired some newer guy (who, by the way, was using his bachelor's degree in psychology to change oil for a living). To a 20-something, it just seems like more arbitrary unfairness and bullying.
"This is bullshit! It's age discrimination!"
Your perspective changes right around the first time you are old enough to have worked at a place for a while and seen a 20-something walk in the door, thinking his grades automatically earn him a salary higher than that of people who actually know what the hell they're doing. You chuckle and/or cringe at their sense of entitlement and realize, "Wait a second! Ten years ago that was me." And then you wonder how the other people in the office tolerated you.
I guess that's when you know you've gotten past it: the embarrassment. Just remembering how at that age you were positive that you had everything locked down and figured out. You figured you were educated and smart and awesome and there wasn't much left to learn. I wouldn't live through that again if I were forced at gunpoint by time-traveling Time Rapists.
"So who's up for some rape? Don't answer that, it kills the point."
#3. It's the Worst Dating of Your Life
This is the time of your life when you're most desperate to meet a girl or a guy, and it's the absolute worse time to actually do it.
Let's face it, besides school, parties and bars, there aren't a lot of avenues you can take to meet other single people. The reason is because it's much easier to get to know someone in a group setting before handing them your phone number and pointing out that if you add a letter, it spells out "FREE DICK." In college you have that group/school setting, but as anyone who is paying tens of thousands of dollars for a serious education can tell you, it's not exactly the "get drunk and fuck" atmosphere that the old National Lampoon movies make it out to be. People are tied up in trying to balance studying with a part-time job so they can survive. The last thing they have time for is a relationship that may or may not last through the end of the year.
So you end up latching on to whatever short term relationship you can get your hands on, just to fight the loneliness. And when that goes sour, you'll move on to the next, not fully realizing that committing to the chick you met by doing jello shots out of her cleavage probably isn't going to be the long term romantic connection you've been searching for.
And then when you do meet the one you think is your soul mate, you realize it's like meeting a girl at the airport. The odds that both of you are planning to wind up in the same place after graduation is astronomically small. He plans to move wherever a job opens up, she intends to go to grad school in Arizona. If you're not the same age, one of you will be in school for a year or more after the other has moved on.
Or longer.
And then there's the fact that at 20, everyone is in transition. This is why you go to a college campus and the girl who was prom queen two years ago now has green hair, and the minister's kid has dedicated his life to his freestyle rap skills. Everybody's trying on personalities like outfits in an '80s movie dressing room montage. The girl you fell in love with, is that actually her, or is that one of the personalities she's testing out? And are you the same person you'll be five years later?
The worst relationship horror stories I've ever heard have all come from this age group. It's a terrible hit and miss process, done at a time when you're most vulnerable and emotionally unstable. And every time you bounce back from a bad relationship and give another try, you're picking up a set of dice made out of your own balls.
"I'm here for our date, you blind fucking consumer. Let's talk about racism in Pig Latin."


text:
Updated: October 31, 2008
Barack Obama, the Democratic Party's nominee for President, has become a target for white supremacists and other extremists on various Websites and Internet forums since he began his campaign. White supremacists, not surprisingly, focus on Obama's African-American background and the threat they feel he poses to America's white population. Some warn people to be ready for an oncoming disaster if Obama is elected. Many suggest that Obama is a good target for an assassination attempt. Some anti-Semitic posts focus on how Jews control Obama and his candidacy. Still others claim that Obama has ties to radical movements or that his former church has carried out murders.The comments below are from neo-Nazis, white supremacists, and adherents of Christian Identity, a racist, anti-Semitic religion. Some are from well-known haters like former Klan leader David Duke and white supremacists Hal Turner and Tom Metzger while others are from unknown individuals posting to extremist forums and Websites and individual blogs. Most of the commentators use blatantly racist, hateful language to express their views.
� 2008 Anti-Defamation League


text:
Controlling Allergens: Pollen
Controlling Allergens: Pollen
Constant exposure to allergens means constant allergy symptoms. That's why controlling or avoiding the allergens that cause your symptoms is an important part of your treatment. If you are allergic to pollen, the tips below may help. The more you do to keep all allergens away from your nose, the better you'll feel.
|Keep windows closed, especially when pollen counts are high, and use air conditioning instead.
Pollen Allergy
The pollen that causes allergies is usually not the pollen in colorful or scented flowers such as roses. This pollen, which is carried from plant to plant by insects such as butterflies and bees, is large and heavy and doesn't travel through the air. The types of pollen that most commonly cause allergies are made by plants (trees, grasses, and weeds) that do not have showy flowers. These plants manufacture small, light, dry pollen granules that are blown from plant to plant by the wind. Pollen can travel through the air over great distances, and is hard to avoid.
Pollen Allergy Is Seasonal
People experience pollen only when the pollen grains to which they are allergic are in the air. Each plant has a pollinating period that is more or less the same from year to year. Exactly when a plant starts to pollinate seems to depend on the relative length of night and day—and therefore on geographical location—rather than on the weather.
Controlling Pollen
Below are some tips to help you limit your exposure to pollen:
Check pollen counts and avoid spending a lot of time outdoors when counts are high. Pollen counts tend to be higher during warm, dry weather. They also tend to be higher during early morning and late afternoon hours. In some areas, daily pollen counts are reported in the paper and on the radio.
After spending time outdoors, change your clothes, and wash your hair before bed.
Stay indoors on windy days.
During the height of the allergy season, try getting away to a place where your allergies won't bother you as much. Your doctor may have suggestions.


text:
Top Definition
When some dirty ass in a gas station, or a convenient store, man handles your hot dogs with their bare hands. You notice the dog tastes kinda like a durf. see durf. The person probably took a dump and forgot to wash his or her damn fingers.
"Dude check out that dirty ass makin' our dogs...damn hand dogs."
de pat and steve 02 Mai 2006
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
A frankfurter which is placed on a stick, dipped in corn batter and deep fried or occasionally baked. Often found at street fairs, carnivals, or flea markets, hand dogs are a cheap and delicious snack that are easy to eat with little effort. Also known as corn dogs.
No, it's a hand dog. Dumb ass.
de titsnbarrels 21 Septembrie 2010


text:
Queen Marguerite de Navarre, sister of Francis I.
Water Festival at Bayonne, drawing.
The Tempest, R.S.C., 1998: Anthony Ward: designer: Adrian Noble: director; Robert Glenister as Caliban.
Valois Tapestry of a Court Festivity, 1573.
Design for A Midsummer Night's Dream: Palace of Theseus, London, Princess Theatre, circa 1856.
Gabrielle d'Estrées
La Reine Margot (Marguerite de Valois) and Other Members of the Valois Court.
Love's Labours Lost, UCB 1977: the King of Navarre and the Princess with her Ladies.
"Reine Margot" (wife of Henri IV) was a brilliant if erratic figure at the court of her mother, Queen Regent Catherine
Love's Labour's Lost, UCB 1977: Rosaline and the French Princess.


text:
Seniors not a reason for ATV access
August 10, 2013
Editor: I would like to comment on a recent letter from Ken White. Ken's letter was truly spoken, these people in state and federal government are mostly out for themselves....
Colonel Sanders puts an addictive chemical in his his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly... but you don't hear "pure" complaining about the 100s of people that eat at KFC every weekend? Or hows about that awful train that brings em' in. A nice "local" scene that none of the "locals" can afford. lol
1 Agrees | 5 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
What to know the extent of a liberals' intelligence level? Read 'anti's' posts. His name even shows the low intelligence level. Liberals are so funny.....bwhahahahaha...
3 Agrees | 6 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
That's what liberals do. They USE others to get what they want.
I know a LOT of seniors and not ONE OF THEM said they'd even USE the trail and don't even OWN an ATV and wouldn't want to.
Mr. WHite is using seniors trying to get SYMPATHY. Liberals are dispicable dumb arses.
3 Agrees | 7 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Seeker, Your parents must have been related...
2 Agrees | 4 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
2 Agrees | 4 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Antipoop is a bit 'constipated.' It's past your nap time eh? You speak like my 3 year old nephew. That is how we know how 'UNEDUCATED' you are. You're even too dumb to realize everyone in here laughs at your stupidity.
2 Agrees | 4 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Antipoop......you just keep proving to us what a hillbilly you are.
2 Agrees | 4 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
I'm pretty sure I'm the only poster on this particular article that ISN'T from your backwards state... (hillbilly) lol... How old is this article? Do you just troll the IM website looking for someone who mentions you or any of your retarded kin? Keep it up. Everyone in my office loves your silly little rants. Hillbilly... Bwhahahahaha...
1 Agrees | 4 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Typical liberal response when they know they've been proven wrong.
2 Agrees | 3 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
I'm searching for a post where I was proven wrong beyond being called a "stupid liberal....bwahahahaha..."
0 Agrees | 3 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Nope... Seeker's still an idiot. Bwahahaha!!!
0 Agrees | 3 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
0 Agrees | 3 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
AntiPoop aka constipated.....yes, my parents are related; they are husband and wife moron. I guess that means YOURS are not married? Figures. Just proves the statistics that children without parental guidance never succeed in life; have lower IQ scores; do worse in school and society. Thanks, once again for PROVING my point. You never fail to help out in that respect. LOL.
1 Agrees | 2 Disagrees | Report Abuse »
Showing 13 of 13 comments
Post a Comment
You must first login before you can comment.


text:
Say what you want about Cracked Editor-in-Chief Jack O'Brien (communist? satanist? Belle and Sebastian enthusiast?), but I'll tell you one thing: The boy has an eye for talent. Sure, I thought my Big Book of Celebrity Sex Positions would do well, but who knew it would spend the last month shattering all records set by the Harry Potter and Girl With the Dragon Tattoo books? (Oh, I don't mean individually. Of course, all the Harry Potter and Lisbeth Salander books sold far better than mine. I'm talking about that self-published fan fiction written by a ninth grade girl in Kalamazoo, Michigan, about both characters in one fictional universe. My sex book sold better than that.)
Anyway, you know how it is with runaway success -- the people want sequels. That's probably why ol' Jackie boy offered me $25 and a Johnny Rockets coupon for free french fries to pump out this sequel. So here it is: The Big Book of Celebrity Sex Positions, Part 2!
That's not MS Paint. That's like totally the real cover!
#12. A Stevejob
Giving a Stevejob is an intricate process. This form of prostitution requires you to charge your partner a large initial fee for what seems to be a series of reliably delivered sex acts. Nevertheless, after about six months, you refuse to perform until an additional fee is paid for what promises to be even better sex. While getting Stevejobs can be costly, some continue to pay for them due to the promise of being virus-free.
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Introducing the Apple Condom in Beta mode. (Upgrade said to actually prevent pregnancy and will be available in about nine months.)
#11. Johnny Deppin'
The method is up to you, but the mantra of the Johnny Deppin' is pleasing your lover with a series of exotic and bold choices that, ultimately, are all kind of the same.
#10. Givin' the Ol' Bill Paxton
Stare at your partner during the entire sex act, thinking "Where do I know you from?"
Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Independence Day?
#9. The Jenny McCarthy
Be incredibly attractive and funny. Then go away for a decade. Come back and look shockingly good for your age. Then, just as your lover is at his most excited to see you, kill his erection by spouting paranoid, scientifically groundless rhetoric, leading to the needless death of children.
Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images Entertainment/GettyÂ
Exposing children needlessly to death is the new sexy!
#8. Ask Your Lover to "George Cloo-Me!"
This sex act may or may not include sex, but it does come with a granted request for your own private island after two years of dating.
Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
"All my exes are in Texas. Well, no, not Texas. Their own private island. Boy, I'm a nice guy."
#7. The Joss "R" Whedon
This sex act is named after Buffy and Firefly creator Joss Whedon. Whedon is also beloved for being the force behind one of the greatest comic movies ever: The Avengers. This sex act features mind-blowing sex with an incredibly hot, athletic woman who is also supernaturally strong in spirit and character. Basically, someone you could never attain. But on the off chance that you somehow do land her, she will leave you utterly drained and defeated until you're murmuring "Joss 'R' Whedon?" See? It's a pun. "Are we done?" Yes, a shitty, forced pun. I know. What makes you think I don't know? You think it's easy to pick celebs who can be satirized via sexual analogy AND have their names come out to be neat little sex puns? Well, it's not. Shut up. Don't look at me.
Ethan Miller/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Image
On behalf of Cracked and myself, I apologize, Mr. Whedon.