text:
I notice you're all still here. That's because sex sells, but drama subscribes. Put the two together, and you've got an irresistible list of injuries. Let's all cringe together, because like so many women before you (two!), you and I are going to share some humiliatingly bad sex. These afflictions ooze from tolerable to terminal, and none of them is "Died of ecstasy with a Cracked staffer," if you were wondering.
I like my women like I like my coffee -- hot enough to hurt me.
Easing ourselves into erotic agony, here's a nice nonpermanent injury everyone can relate to: being crushed by a falling tombstone while having sex in public inside a cemetery while visiting a dead relative.
And really, we're with the dead relative who sent a tombstone tumbling onto her with ghost physics. Imagine how you'd feel if you woke up to two people sex-moving above you. You'd be either very upset or living on a college campus (in which case you're always upset, because college is a trick that adults and savages play on kids who want to better themselves).
New Line
If you didn't want to live in The Lord of the Flies, why did you pay a hundred thousand dollars for a useless education?
Sorry, I went to a liberal arts school.
Even I can admit that being dead is almost as bad as being a college student, since it lasts even longer. If the living are going to rub your face in it by actually creating life on your moldering bones, you have every right to curse them. Yeah! Curse 'em GOOD! That's how a New Jersey (of course) couple who were rutting in the silent kingdom learned that curses and their partner, seventh-grade physics, always have their revenge.
The Casualty:
Wounded leg crushed by necromancer-toppled tombstone. The 39-year-old woman was not terribly hurt, but for the rest of her life must endure an accusing ghost in her bathroom mirror. The real injuries are to the couple's reputations. While plenty of us have desecrated a tomb (again: college), very few of us were aroused by it, let alone with press coverage.
Cemeteries actually used to be popular date destinations in the 19th century, because that was the only way to meet a girl's family. Plus not even the ruffiest ruffian would dare prey upon a maiden's virtue in front of God, the Grim Reaper and the chittering dead. Only two out of three of those parties would be into that kind of thing. Oh, but you'll never guess which two!
Whee! Copyright free!
Cholera is an easy punch line, but a good one.
It led the Victorians to eroticize death so much that their ideal girl was the one who died without making a scene before you ever got to kiss her china-white hand. Nevertheless, we have to assume everyone in the 19th century eventually triggered the cemetery curse, because they all died.*
*Except for a few 120-year-olds still alive today, but they hissed incoherent warnings at the couple entering the cemetery before their eyes boiled out of their heads.
How It Could Have Been Avoided:
By finding a nice, flat crypt. Or by not provoking the cold wrath of the ancients. Neither of these, however, corrects their first mistake of being in New Jersey.
Ugh. Why would anyone want to live there?
If you're going to have sex on a tombstone, do it in winter, when the ground, like your lover and the flint eyes of the numberless dead, is hard and unyielding.
The Legacy:
Nicknames are reserved for only the most special sex moves, though special isn't necessarily good. Therefore, let us forever remember injury by tombstone mid-coitus as a Jersey Stunner.
What can be a pleasant tingle on the skin is, in a surprise to no one who has eaten Thai food, delicious murder on the mucous membranes. To put it another way, nobody goes to Ethiopian restaurants if they have to work the next day, unless they're a test pilot at a Japanese space-toilet developer.
And speaking of great food, let's visit Hell's Kitchen. Picture it, dear friends! Use the eroticmost powers of your fetid imaginations! A woman enters the emergency ward stiffly and with small steps but a wide gait. The desk attendant quite wrongly assumes the lady has ridden a horse without oiling its saddle. But no! She is something more. She is ... the Woman with the Red-Hot Labia.
Her lover -- who we all agree wears too many gold chains atop his oiled chest, right? -- had eaten hot sauce, then lovingly scorched her inner lady parts with his soft-obscenity-murmuring lingual ones.
That, or she was dating the devil, but that seems like the kind of thing you'd brag about.
This is why I'm not allowed to pitch to Marvel
Especially in Hell's Kitchen.
Doctors treated her burn by having a man who had just eaten yogurt go down on her.
The Casualty:
Mild burns down there. Also up there, if he knew what he was doing.
It's an eternal question -- is the pain of spicy food worth its delicious flavor? Now complicated by "Is it worth the orgasm if you don't get to taste it?" I just don't know. Ladies?
How It Could Have Been Avoided:
As an honest mistake, it's pretty understandable and avoidable. Just glue your labia shut so that no man can ever perform oral sex on you again! Problem solved. Because girls -- no way are you going to stand between us and Mexican food.
The Legacy:
Indian Burn, Southern Heat Wave and Spicy Fish Taco all spring easily to mind, but let's call this a Tralfamadorian Tamale, since the heat runs backward from your tongue to spice up the dish.
Warner Bros. owns these plot holes
But you won't listen, you buxom blonde in the basement of a horror movie.
Seriously. Not even Cheese's column can raise your spirits after what comes next.
This medical condition is so disturbing, it comes from an article listing every possible penis injury, and it still edged out the cracking sound, significant bleeding and "eggplant deformity" of a penis fracture.
There's an urban legend about a babysitter who gets a call from the police warning him that the stimulation is coming from inside his penis. That legend is true! Some folks really love sticking things up there. How many? Nobody knows! But what most people would pay vast sums to be unable to imagine, others do quietly in the privacy of their own BDSM dungeon. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of the people next to you is a urethral stimulator. Is there no one on either side of you? Then it's YOU. Hey, no judgments. Just deep and disquieted awe.
The important thing to remember is that everything hurts.
Now consider the young man who walked into a urologist's office and didn't even pretend the damnedest accident occurred while he was cooking dinner naked and aroused.
The Casualty:
He accidentally broke a piece of spaghetti off in his urethra. And yes, he was Italian.
A case like this raises lots of questions, the most important being -- did it come out cooked? Right behind that: Does this disprove God's existence, or demonstrate Satan's? Also: WHY, sir? That's the kind of thing Roman emperors only do after the thrill of humping the spear wound in a virgin goat's lungs has grown dreary. How bored can you get waiting for water to boil?
The X-ray on this must look like a four-dimensional view of the life of a kidney stone. It's one thing to want to hurt yourself. It's another to commit the original sin that hurts all mankind. Every case of erectile dysfunction in history is caused by the outward ripple of his mistake.
I will admit the pleasure index on this one makes sense. After all, the male urethra is the vagina of unimaginable agonies. But when a guy wants to know what a piece of raw spaghetti feels like inside his penis, he just deals with UPS customer service.
No one would claim responsibility
We like to have a lot of fun around here, but seriously, UPS: Pack it in, you're the worst.
Here's a tip for men: The next time you have sex, ask her if you can stick pasta in her urethra. After she recoils in horror, you'll easily bargain her down to conventional equipment up any other orifice, including the ear. Or the police will arrive for you. Either way, show more forethought than this fellow, who stimulated himself with the flimsiest stick imaginable. Literally anything would have had more integrity, even dry balsa wood or a Democrat's campaign promises.
And even if you don't break it off inside, what do you get? They say the man who reaches his pubic bone attains ultimate knowledge. For three seconds, you become God, and then the totality of omniscience incinerates your mortal husk.
But more likely you die of touching your prostate from the wrong side.
How It Could Have Been Avoided:
By not using an intraurethral device known for breaking when you stare at it too hard. Literally anything other than ground glass or panicked animals would have been a better choice: gravel, alligator fat, a rolled-up parchment of human skin inscribed with the final sin mankind will commit at the end of the world ... all of these, but not brittle spaghetti.
The Legacy:
An Italian going the wrong way to the wrong place but coming back with pasta and groin injuries? This is like some lousy Christopher Columbus/Marco Polo buddy comedy. But since there are probably Cracked articles on everything we know about them being wrong, call this one a Deep Dish Ditalini Diddle.
Thanks to poor product design standards, "April Bonjour" just went from being an even better name for Audrey Tautou to a top result for one of Google's Safe Search Off terms.
Yay, Miramax!
But then, so is Mademoiselle Tautou.
The California resident was using a vibrating sex toy, which in most other articles would be a great start to a paragraph. But, oh! Nothing is right in our world, ye sadistic sojourners of sexuality. A sharp pain, and her concerned boyfriend extracted a ...
Oh, no. No, no, no.
He extr-- Urp.
Extracted a bl-- Please don't make me type this, Jack O'Brien.
... extracted a blood-covered dildo.
"I thought, very briefly, that I had started my period," said the stoic mother who, like of all her gender, lives in a terrifying world where her genitals hemorrhage a dozen times a year. But this was no ordinary Stephen King tale about the horrors of menstruation; this was a Stephen King tale about possessed cannibal appliances.
The Casualty:
The bleeding intensified until it exhausted Ms. Bonjour's entire supply of sanitary pads and belief in a loving God. As she lost consciousness, her boyfriend called 9-1-1. Her son was by her side, convinced she was dying. Here are the reasons that is traumatizing for children and other living things:
Yours to cherish
And the dildo had six fingers.
For the world's most unfrivolous lawsuit, $25,000 is a modest request. Consider what sum it would take before you consented to internal genital mutilation. Pretty high, right? And that's voluntarily. Twenty-five keys is the surcharge you'd tack onto the bill for the surprise factor. Women already spend a quarter of their adult lives bleeding from their reproductive machinery without the option of suing God. They don't need this mandatory overtime malarkey.
How It Could Have Been Avoided:
By removing the pentagram from the device's schematics, prying down all fetal pigs nailed to the development lab's walls and kicking over the altar of skulls in the company cafeteria.
The Legacy:
This sex move can only be called the Curse of the Mommy's Womb. I know! It would have been perfect if this had happened at the cemetery. But it didn't, because sometimes life is sad. Usually not "murderous vibrator inside you" sad, but still.


text:
Technical information
Access starting point: Arosa railway station
Access point of arrival: Arosa railway station. Arrive and depart by train/car from Chur to Arosa.
From Zweisimmen to Lenk
Hiking time: 1 h
Season: Mid-June to October
Starting point: 1739 metres above sea level
Difficulty: easy
Difference in elevation: Downhill only
Gastronomy: Brüggerstuba, Prätschlistall, Burastübli
Take the Weisshorn cable car up to the middle station. From there, walk north through the aromatic Arlenwald. When you come out of the woods, as the track branches off towards the Prätschsee, bear right and head south towards the Prätschli area of the village. Then continue through the woods and back to the village centre.
Tour Overview
3D hiking map Download GPX coordinates Download KMZ (GoogleEarth)
The careful planning of a tour will ensure that you also derive the maximum pleasure and enjoyment from it. Please take the time to contact the local information centre and enquire about route and weather conditions before setting off. Your intended trail may be fully or partially closed, depending on the time of year and weather conditions.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Top Definition
to hurt deeply, usually in an emotional way. References the quick of a fingernail or claw and the pain that results when the nail is cut back too far and usually bleeds
Susie Mae's stealin' my boyfriend/brother just plain cut to the quick.
Por Walking Colloquialism 01 de abril de 2004
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
skip the fluff, tell whats important.
Georgie: bla bla bla bla bla
Reese: Cut to the quick Georgie, i havent got all day.
Reese: Cut to the quick Georgie, i havent got all day.
Por crayola 30 de marzo de 2004
Fuckin' in the butt.
Man you really cut to the quick, my ass hurts like the dickens, just like that time Mac Brown cut me to the quick!


text:
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text:
With winter beginning to settle in, are you ready for whatever the weather deals us this year? Are you one of those who like to trundle down to Florida or points southwest? Or will you do your best to enjoy our winter weather here in northeast Ohio?
Several members of my family have already gone to Florida to escape the cold and snow of our area. Some go to Lake Placid in central Florida, Winter Haven or Trenton, where there is less congestion than along the coastal areas that are very popular.
So far, Betty and I have decided to stay here and find ways to enjoy the winter. We have a number of things to keep us busy and don't have to go out if the weather is bitter cold or there is six inches of snow and more coming down.
Since we don't golf or go fishing, we are not sure what we would do to stay busy in Florida. Some folks, like my brother, do volunteer work such as helping in the local hospital or at a nearby church camp. Others enjoy playing cards, pitching horseshoes, golfing or taking long walks.
Yes, one can find things to do down there and that is true wherever one lives. Many opportunities are available to do volunteer work. People need to select those things they like and are able to do and get involved.
Planning things to do right around home also offers many opportunities. We enjoy looking out our living room windows and watching the many birds that frequent our two feeders or take bites out of the suet we provide. Studying the birds and trying to decide the various kinds that enjoy our feed is an interesting pasttime.
As the seasons change, so do some of the birds that visit our feeders. In the spring and summer we have two pairs of rose-breasted grosbeaks that have been coming back year after year. Usually they appear in early May and are active at the feeders until September. Then they just disappear without saying goodbye. They are pretty birds and we enjoy them. Some expense is involved in feeding the birds, but we think it is worthwhile.
Betty enjoys her scrambled word puzzles, and sometimes she will tackle a 500- or 700-piece puzzle. I spend considerable time researching and writing agricultural articles. A couple of groups that I am involved with and enjoy their breakfast meetings also occupy some time.
Church activities provide many opportunities. Again one can choose those of interest or that you are able to do. Woodworking used to be one of my favorite activities, but I have gotten away from it, mostly because of health reasons. With some nice tools sitting unused, there are times when I would like to pick them up again.
In many ways, we are fortunate. We hire the snow plowed out of our driveway. The man we hired automatically comes if we have four inches or more and does a good job of clearing the driveway and also shoveling our short walk.
We have a gas-fired fireplace in one corner of the living room that we enjoy using when it is snowing and blowing outside. It is an efficient fireplace with a double flue and burns outside air that comes in one of the flues. Exhaust gases go out the other one making it about 87 percent efficient, according to the manufacturer.
Wood trim around the fireplace is some old walnut that my dad saved. We had just enough to do the trim we wanted, and we do enjoy the personal touch it gives to the fireplace.
We listen to the weatherman. If he says we will have a lot of snow, we make sure we have plenty of milk and other food in the house. Then we don't have to go out if it is snowing and drifting outside.
Sure, there are times when it would be nice not to worry about wearing boots, heavy coats and hats. As winter goes along, it is important to stay busy, be active and get plenty of exercise to stay upbeat.
Parker is an independent writer for the Tribune.


text:
Top Definition
Parents who allow and aid thier children ages 12-14, to dress and act in a manor which is not age appropriate. See definition of Prostitots.
Only Pimprents would allow thier 11 year old daughter to dress like a whore at the mall.
di CBridges1977 07 giugno 2007
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?


text:
INCLINE VILLAGE, Nev. - As you would expect last week's election results have led to an enormous amount of opining from both sides on what it all means. There is debate on whether a margin of 2.5 percent in the popular vote constitutes a mandate or not, and in my view you can argue either way - "mandate" is not a fact, the truth of which can be argued and proven, but an interpretation of the data and no interpretation is ever right or provable.
So let's let the facts speak for themselves:
• As of Noon on Friday, with nearly all votes in, Obama led Romney in the popular vote by a count of 61,173,739, or 50.5 percent, to 58,167,260, or 48.0 percent.
• Obama won the electoral vote by a greater margin than Kennedy, Nixon, Carter or Bush.
• Obama is the fourth president to win two terms by 50 percent or more, joining Roosevelt, Eisenhower and Reagan.
• The Democrats gained two seats in the (already Democrat-controlled) Senate, and while they did not gain a majority in the House, narrowed the margin of difference.
• Far-right Republicans lost races they were expected to win (e.g. Mourdock, Akins, McMahon) or won by much closer margins than expected (Bachman, Heller).
• Tax reforms, particularly increasing the tax share of the wealthy was an explicit platform difference between the two parties, and the voters elected the guy who favored that increase.
• Marriage rights, a hot-button issues for the right wing, was approved in four states by margins of 3 to 6 percent.
I'm not going to argue whether these results constitute a mandate for President Obama and the Democrats or not. I am suggesting that they, along with a great deal of post-election polling, reflect a trend among centrist and undecided voters away from the Tea Party/Evangelical Right's positions and a growing disgust with the obstructionism by the Republicans in Congress that was fueled by their pandering to the extreme Right.
The results for Mourdock, Akins, and McMahon in particular, along with the defeat of Scott Brown by Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts and George Allen by Tim Kaine in Virginia should cause Mssrs. McConnell and Boehner to step back and reevaluate their tactics. McConnell proclaimed four years ago that the main task before the GOP was to make sure Obama was a one-term president - the main task - not the economy, not the endless wars, not poverty or health care. And they failed decisively at that task.
Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, so we could see the change of tactics (or not) as a test of the GOP's sanity.
A decisive majority of the voters have shown how they felt about all the issues the GOP bet their campaign on - tax reform, and Obamacare in particular. Post-election polling indicates that a vast majority of the electorate were disgusted by the campaign - its length, and particularly its mendacity. There was lying on both sides, but fact checkers across the spectrum agree that the dishonesty on the Romney/Ryan side was greater than on the Obama/Biden side by a large multiple.
Personally, as I've said in this space, I have no use for lying on either side, and that includes lies of omission and lies by telling half-truths, and the American people seem to be showing that they feel the same.
It's time now for both parties to get back to the business of governing. Liberal/Progressive as I am, I like the two-party system. It should serve to keep all parties honest and to ensure that the best aspects of both the liberal and conservative views are incorporated into policy. I like the parliamentary system of multiple parties better for the same reason, but third parties have never gained much traction here and when it operates effectively the two-party system should accomplish the same thing.
It can't, however, when either party decides that its survival and reelection is more important than what it was elected for and is willing to effectively stop the process of governing for four years in order to unseat a duly elected President.
Boehner has expressed some willingness to collaborate; McConnell still sounds intransigent. The future of the country may very well depend on their willingness to lead their party rather in cooperating to govern rather than maintaining their "my way or the highway" approach. Let's hope that underneath the bombast, the results of the election are speaking to them and their colleagues and that the next four years are more productive than the last.
- Ed Gurowitz has a doctorate in psychology and is a management consultant. He has lived in Incline Village since 1995 and is active in the Democratic Party. He can be reached for comment at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Notorious San Antonio killers
San Antonio is one of the oldest cities in Texas, so it should come to no surprise that S.A. also has a dark history of heinous crimes. Here are 17 killers whose crimes against children, city leaders and others won't soon fade from the Alamo City's memory. Source: San Antonio Express-News archives; Texas Department of Criminal Justice.
By Compiled by Merrisa Brown, mySA.com
Photo: LEFT: Bob Owen/San Antonio Express-News; RIGHT: John Davenport/San Antonio Express-News


text:
LISBON - There will be 993 more votes to be counted when the Columbiana County Board of Elections performs an official count of the Nov. 6 election.
The 993 represent additional absentee ballots that arrived following the election and provisional ballots cast election day, all of which which be added to 45,748 votes counted election day.
The elections board met Tuesday to decide which of the provisional ballots and late-arriving absentees ballots should be counted. Provisional ballots are those cast election day but go uncounted until questions raised by poll workers over voter residency or registration are resolved.
Board Director Adam Booth said there were 1,054 provisional ballots, of which 878 were found to be valid. The other 176 provisional ballots were rejected because the person was either not registered (110), they voted in the wrong precinct (54), and for miscellaneous reasons (12).
Booth said a significant number of the unregistered were upset about being turned away. "They said, 'I voted in 2000.' Well. that was 12 years ago," he said, noting federal law requires they purge the rolls of anyone who has failed to vote in the past six years.
Another 141 absentee, or early voting, ballots were received, of which 115 were deemed valid. Of the 26 deemed invalid, 23 were rejected because they were not postmarked by election day. This brings the total number of early voting ballots cast to a record 10,191.
The board is scheduled to meet at 5 p.m. Tuesday to approve the final results once the official count is performed by the staff.
Booth does not expect any changes in the candidate races with the additional 993 ballots because the margins are too large. It has been his experience that provisional ballots follow the same pattern as those counted on election day, and if there are any changes, they are usually only affect extremely close races.
Booth said that could be the case of a liquor sale issue for the Glenmoor Marathon station in St. Clair Township, which was ahead by two votes on election day. This will probably qualify for an automatic recount.
None of the close candidate races - state representative and county recorder - currently qualify for a recount, and Booth said it is likely to remain that way.


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Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Return
The Cubs moved yet another once-upon-a-time prospect in Ronny Cedeno today, along with left-handed pitcher Garrett Olson to the Seattle Mariners for Aaron Heilman. You'll remember Olson as the pitcher the Cubs received along with Hank Williamson for Felix Pie about a week and a half ago. That makes the net trade:
Cubs get: Hank Williamson, Aaron Heilman
Cubs lose: Ronny Cedeno, Felix Pie
Cedeno's fate was likely sealed when the Cubs acquired Aaron Miles and I'll shed no tears on this loss. Cedeno might be more talented than Ryan Theriot, but he's shown all the baseball intelligence of a junior high dropout. I also find it a bit amusing that the one rookie that Dusty Baker ever gave much of a legitimate shot of playing time to - besides maybe Matt Murton - was Cedeno in 2006. Dusty Baker's eye for talent strikes yet again.
Heilman has been on the Cubs radar for awhile, always known to be a Hendry favorite. The Notre Dame alum had a brutal 2008 season, with a 5.21 ERA for the Mets and was part of the three-team deal for J.J. Putz earlier this offseason. His K/9 rate went up to a nice 9.47 last year, but it went along with a skyrocketing BB/9 rate of 5.45. Fangraphs (using Pitch F/x data) says he throws mostly a fastball and change-up with the occassional slider, while Sportsnet says it's a splitter and fastball with the occasional fastball and change. He has also made it clear on many occasions that he would prefer to be a starter, which is probably why he got shipped out of New York.
Heilman signed a one year, $1.625M deal to avoid arbitration with the Mariners and is set to be a free agent after the 2010 season and the deal cleared a spot on the 40-man roster.
I assume many are worried that moving Garrett Olson means the end of the Jake Peavy sweepstakes for the Cubs, as the Padres made it clear he was a pitcher they desired. I, of course, have no idea if that is true or not. To play devil's advocate, it could mean the Cubs are now willing to move Sean Marshall and covet Aaron Heilman more for that swing-man role. I think that's less likely of a scenario, but it is possible.
In the end, the Cubs moved a useless part (Cedeno) and a promising player with no roster flexibility (Pie) for a pitcher I think is a pretty good bet to bounce back next season. From 2005-2007, Heilman put up ERA's of 3.17, 3.62, and 3.03 with anywhere from 76 to 108 IP. Considering the volatility of relief pitchers, there's certainly a good chance that he can rebound to those levels.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing
He seems like Jason Marquis with a lower salary and acquired for relatively useless parts. Gives more depth to the starting rotation which is always needed, esp with Harden.
I choose not to look at it versus a possible Peavy trade because we don't know, but suspect that it was going to be an arm and a leg to get him.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
It's been my dream for awhile to be the first commenter on one of these posts. It seems, somehow, unfulfilling now. Kinda like the Cubs' offseason moves so far.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
"you will also be banned. "
That's another dream of mine. At my age, that's about as exciting as things get.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Keep trying.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Forget first post. Aim for worst post.
Try posting something about how the number of games over .500 doesn't directly correspond to the number of games one would need to lose to return to .500.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
dude 1/2 games are real and you can play more than 162 games!!!!
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
dammit, CA-Phil. Dream shattered.
Re: pitcher I think is pretty good bet to bounce back next seaso
I hope you're right but your opinion is based on what? Heilman battled tendonitis in his left knee all last season. Is it better?
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
As was mentioned in the previous thread, Heilman was putting up with some tendonitis problems in his knee last season which may have been why he struggled. If I can dig up some more info later today I'll add to this. To get traded (twice) somebody must have been reviewing these medical records and signing off on them.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in
Heilman is not a starting pitcher. He had success as a reliever in NY, and got shellacked in his run as a starting pitcher.
Cedeno was not much, but now Miles is the one back-up infielder? Ugh..
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
Ok..who Juan Uribe? And add that to the pile of $$ the Cubs are spending.
What would that cost? Rich Aurillia?? Yikes...
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
There is no way Ronny Cedeno is worth that!!
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
Wait till you see the terms DB,
Juan Uribe
-Player option years 4 and 5
-5 Million buyout
-10% ownership in franchise
-His own interpreter
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
Don't forget that most of that contract will be backloaded too...
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
dug this up from the NY Daily News, circa 9-11-08
Jerry Manuel: Knee problem has hampered Aaron Heilman all year
BY Adam Rubin
Thursday, September 11th 2008, 4:00 AM
Jerry Manuel offered an alibi for Aaron Heilman's miserable string of outings. The interim manager revealed, and Heilman confirmed, the righty has been dealing with left knee tendinitis since spring training. Manuel said the problem affects Heilman's landing during his delivery and therefore his location.
Heilman surrendered a game-tying two-run homer to Cristian Guzman in the sixth Wednesday night in a 13-10 win over the Nationals.
For his part, Heilman tried to minimize how much it has accounted for his 5.38 ERA. "There were probably a handful of games where I felt it affected me," said Heilman, who has appeared in just two games this month.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Isn't tendinitis a recurring problem that never really goes away? And did we really just pick up another injured pitcher? This would be a fine strategy if MLB made an exception and allowed the Cubs to carry another 10 pitchers without it counting towards the 25 man roster limit.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
You misspelled crunch's name.
And, no, tendinitis is not a chronic condition. I am sure the good doctor can give a more thorough example, but I can fix my achilies' problems by changing shoes.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Similarly, I've got some shoulder tendinitis that is just fine as long as I don't do anything like throw a baseball.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
I've always read that tendinitis is diagnosed when they can't quite figure out exactly what the underlying problem is.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
also saw this history on Heilman from 2006:
Mets | Heilman has elbow operation
Mon, 23 Oct 2006 23:56:21 -0700
The Associated Press reports New York Mets SP Aaron Heilman (elbow) had surgery Oct. 23 for tennis elbow on his throwing arm.
The KFFL link has a boatload of stuff on Heilman with years of him being involved in trade rumors, one dates back to him being possibly acquired to compete vs Wade Miller for the Cubs 5th starter spot.
Also, it looks like he was getting the LaTroy Hawkins treatment from Met fans last year
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Heilman was getting racist letters too?
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
Lol....yeah...from Michigan fans??
If he is a solid reliever, great...and if not, again...lots of sound, no fury this offseason..
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
Heilman was getting racist letters too?
No, anti-Dome hate mail. Most were booing LaTroy just because he sucked as a Cub. The racist stuff was coming from the beyond, probably Commish Kenesaw Mountain Landis' grave.
Re: Dbacks get Garland
Wait...isn't he in our farm system? IS he out of options?
Re: Dbacks get Garland
Re: Dbacks get Garland
Man, you ARE gullible!
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
There was lots of angry in the last thread about this, but thanks to Rob for summing it up.
Those of us who want Peavy want to be upset because of Olson's name being linked to that trade. Understandable. But I highly doubt Garrett Olson will or won't be the deciding factor in whether or not we get Peavy. Having said that, did we pay a semi-high price for Heilman? Probably. But again, Jim's running out of time and (literally) options.
I wanted badly to see Cedeno succeed, and it never happened, and wasn't going to. Good riddance.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
The one reason I will miss Cedeno is the fact that he is the only man I ever saw run the bases as if we were playing a good old fashion game of pitcher's hand. Seriously did he run with his eyes closed? I will NOT miss him.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
I don't even know that the price is that high, when you aren't taking Peavy into account. Assuming he gets over the tendonitis, Heilman's a decent pitcher, and Cedeno probably wasn't ever going to get much in return. Olson, well... NOOOO! COME BACK, JAKE!
Another thing that's important is to avoid thinking of this as Pie and Cedeno for Heilman, because then the wrists start bleeding and that's just too messy.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
I just keep envisioning Hendry on the deck of the Starship Enterprise being suffocated by some devious Klingon weapon..crawling to the command console...just reaching up to press the life saving button..."Must spend money on middle relievers..."
I would have preferred a prospect and Olson.
Seattle got a starting spot for Ronny?
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno
yeah Betancourt is no Izturis or Neifi...erm.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I've said this several times - but in the fall of 2006, I was THRILLED that Dusty played this speedy, strong-armed, SS with some pop. "We FINALLY have a shortstop!"
Then 2007 came - he was given the gig - and blew it.
Like Rob, and the Dr. Aaron said, we got a living, breathing body for him. I'm fine with it. Who knows what will happen with Garrett Olson.
There are quite a few "If's" on the Cubs 2009 version - add Heilman to the mix.
Just wish he was a lefty. Lou kept the wrong one.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
I do worry that Jim has really thinned this roster out quite a bit.
I know its a stretch, but imagine if something along the lines of
-Bradley injury
-Harden injury
-Soriano injury
-Aramis injury
-Theriot/Miles/Fontenot either Don't repeat career year/Continue to suck/Doesn't turn into Micky Morandini 2.0?
I don't know that we have the depth to recover like we've had before.
Backloaded deals almost always come home to roost. And Jim's aversion to confrontation may end up being his undoing.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
This ("IF" injury scenarios) has been discussed ad nauseum. Ultra 3/44.
Now we may add a Heilman injury, too.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
I'd say more than 50% of that list is a foregone conclusion, E-Man
It harkens back to the good old days of peciling in Wood and Prior at the front of the rotation.
I can't wait until the "When Milton Bradley comes off the DL. It will be like making a deadline trade" routine.
As of today, without Peavy. This club could be anywhere from a 92-75 win Club.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
And with Peavy we'd be a 97 to 69 win club, but with $80 million more of backloaded contracts. What's the point?
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
I am starting to agree with this point of view. For the money, and cost in talent, I don't think Peavy improves us enough to justify the 5 useful bodies it would take, particularly Vitters and Castillo. Two way catchers are too hard to come by, and while you can debate the Cubs dubious record on developing front end talent, we really have not had a prospect like Vitters since I don't know when. And we won't be drafting #3 again any time soon. Marshall is a good #5, and cheap, and left handed, so has a lot of value.
But there are no teams in competition with us to land him, due to his no trade clause. They are stuck with him unless we agree to a trade. Hendry should apply the full leverage of this negotiating position if a deal is to be struck.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
Wait... you mean that if the a baseball team lost four of their best players, they would struggle?
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno;
No reason to be glib here Matt Lauer
you know that on most teams the chances of that happening to four of their best players are much lower.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
Heilman. From now on your Delta Tau Chi name is...Old Style.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
and after a bad outing they will probably say something about, hold the mayo
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher
awesome...i love it.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
found this ironic tidbit in a Will Carroll (Baseball Prospectus) column from 7/30/06:
The Mets haven't made the most of Aaron Heilman. Once expected to be a rotation fixture, the pitcher has instead found a home in the bullpen. He could find a home closer to his midwest roots if the information I got from a Mets official pans out. I'm told that the Mets are discussing shipping Heilman to the Cardinals in return for free-agent-to-be Jason Marquis.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
Unfortunately I can't find anything more specific on Heilman's tendonitis other than it was his left knee.
Tendonitis means inflammation of a tendon and there are several around the knee. The largest two are the quadriceps tendon (which inserts into the patella/kneecap) and the patellar tendon (which goes from the patella to the tibia below the knee) both are common. There are also hamstrings (medial or lateral) and even the gastrocnemius which is more of a calf muscle but the tendons go behind and above the knee attaching to the femur.
My guess is it was a patellar tendonitis as it's probably the most common of these conditions. In a pitcher, this would a significant problem for both push off and landing from a mound. Heilman played through it most of the season meaning it was nagging but not incapacitating . It wasn't disclosed to the press until the 2nd week in September where there are multiple articles (see the link above for one of these) explaining why they hadn't used him as much in early September. Of course blowing 5 of 8 save opportunities might just be a better excuse to skip calling him from the pen.
I'm sure they had MRI imaging on him as that would be useful to rule additional conditions inside the knee that might make the tendonitis a secondary problem (like a torn meniscus). The treatment is the usual rest and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications, better shock absorption in shoes. Therapy includes stretching and controlled exercises also various heat modalities to the inflammed area. In a pitcher it's unlikely to resolve until enough rest can occur, which means the off-season.
He didn't have this in 2007 so I'd expect him to be OK in 2009. I saw that he did have right (his pitching elbow) tennis elbow surgery immediately after the season on 10-23-06 by Dr. David Altchek (he's quite famous in Sports Ortho, who did similar surgery on Carlos Delgado that same week) and although it's obviously unrelated to his knee issues it is an example of a chronic tendonitis that rarely needs surgery but ultimately he needed it (and presumably got better from the surgery). His stats in 2006 (74 games, 3.62 ERA, 1.16 WHIP) were better than 2008 (78G, 5.21 ERA, 1.59 WHIP) so I guess it was the same nagging thing but he put up with it pretty well. He probably had a bunch of therapy, ultrasound/deep heat rxs and a few cortisone shots for it before the elbow surgery.
Patellar tendonitis can be chronic (which isn't all that common) and then the tendon can be surgically explored or consideration to ultrasonic shockwave rx, which is more often used to treat resistant plantar fascitis (arch inflammation). A variant on such an example of surgical treatment of a chronic tendonitis was the chronic achilles tendonitis in Cliff Floyd who had surgery (also at the same hospital/same week that Heilman had surgery, but a different surgeon) on it the offseason before he signed with the Cubs. Of course if you have HMO insurance like Neal, they just tell you to change shoes.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I wasn't on an HMO either time it happened. Both times I got it, I was living in Europe (London and CPH) and doing pretty lenghty walks 3 KM's or 5 KM's each way to work in dress shoes. I'd already partaken in socialistic medicine in both those countries so decided to forgo it if possible.
Doc Martins fixed it in London. In Copenhagen I just started wearing tennis shoes to work and changed at the office.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
just kidding Neal...
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
NY Times article on Heilman...nothing earthshattering but upbeat
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher
Does anyone feel that Orlando Hudson would significantly improve our middle inf?
Miles/Theriot/Fontenot just doesnt do it for me. Theriot played well everyday last year, but we could use more D and Offense out of that spot. And Miles and Fonty have never played everyday.
At this point Hudson is getting screwed with the #1 Pick compensation which I cringe at giving up, but it is pick 29. Its possible Hudson could be had for 6m/yr? Switch hitter, gold glove D?
Our farm system is so thin, I just don't see any other options.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher
Theriot and Fontenot seem like pretty good other options.
Hudson doesn't appear to improve our defensive shortcomings at SS, as far as I can tell.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
one more little detail I noticed from the Rosenthal article on the Heilman-Cedeno/Olson trade:
Hendry completed the deal while on vacation in Italy.
"He's got to feel pretty good about the deal — we finally solidified it when he was in Rome," Zduriencik said, chuckling.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
What? Why didn't he give me a call? We could have gone out for donuts (zeppole).
Seriously, why was he here? Surely not vacation.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I'm satisfied with Pie + Cedeno for Heilman, because I don't think anything of Ron Ce. Heilman has a track record of ML success, he had a bad year, looks like the Cubs buy low on someone for once. A 4th OF (Pie) with no plate discipline for a better version of Jason Marquis? I'll take that.
Now if Hendry can just eat a million bucks and dump Vizcaino off on someone, he'll be doing much better here. We have more pitching depth than just about any team in baseball.
I like the talk about Orlando Hudson BTW, push Fonty into a reserve role with Miles, that would make the bench look a lot better. And Hudson could leadoff, no? A slightly inferior version of Brian Roberts at the cost of a single draft choice and 8 million bucks? Do it.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I concur with both of you on Hudson.
Bats Lefthanded. Gold Glove defense. Perennial 800+ OPS guy from 2nd base. Could probably be had with a One year incentive clad contract.
Plus we can offer him arbitration next year and get the draft pick back.
I sure as hell like him more than Aaron F'N Miles
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher...
Count me in on Hudson. I agree with both of the previous posts. I've generally enjoyed watching Hudson play.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I'd have been all about getting Hudson instead of Miles + Gathright + Vizcaino. But where is the $8 mil gonna come from? Especially if, further down the road, they're going to entertain thoughts of Peavy?
I think the infield, after Uribe, is set.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
If Hudson will cost 6 and Uribe will cost 4 then it really should be a no brainer.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I'd be surprised if Uribe gets a guaranteed roster spot. I'd be flabbergasted if he gets $4 million.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
I know it gets beaten to death. But prime example of what Hendry does with his finances of the team. Which is better in your opinion?
A) Hudson,Fontenot,Cedeno,Koyie Hill,Pie
B) Miles,Fontenot,Uribe,Bako,Gathright
With a little bit of planning. Jim could have had either/or for about the same money
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
you missed a "." in the fonty money in a.
Re: Cubs Trade Ronny Cedeno; Get Living, Breathing Pitcher in Re
Heilman 1.625 in arbitration wouldn't have been added. So there is another 800K to close the gap.
I said about the same. In today's cubbie dollars. 1 million dollars shouldn't be a deal breaker.
Were paying that much to watch Jason Marquis pitch in Colorado.
Recent comments
A left-handed one...
lester going for #20...cubs haven't had a 20 game winner since d.ellsworth in 1963.
J-Hey not finishing with an offensive onslaught.
If Geoff Blum could be a Playoff hero, there is hope still...
Giants scare me. I think you're wrong about Bumgarner, he would pitch on short rest for Game 2 and then full rest for Game 5. Cueto would go Game 1, then short rest in game 4. Add in some really tough outs in that lineup and I want nothing to do with them. With that rotation they can easily steal a series.
Cards are a tough matchup. The rivalry evens out their comparable lack of talent. And like someone said, they love HRs, which is how to beat the Cubs. The upside is that I would feel really good about Lester twice against STL.
j.buchanan with a nice start...5ip 2h 1bb 3k, 0r/er
zobrist with 2HR and a double through 8
heyward 0-4 :(
Mark Gonzales @MDGonzales
Soler likely to return Sunday, Maddon says
Right now, I'd like to see the Mets first, Giants 2nd.
I believe that since most of the team from last years' NLCS is on the squad this year, they will really amp their game up even more to kick their ass in payback for 2015.
The Giants just do not have the depth in years past, and I think all things equal - and at Wrigley - they could handle them.
I do not want to see the Cards, period. Or their fans, media, or Joe Buck.
I don't want to play Braves in the first round. Any friggin team in the league can win 3 of 5..I hate the first round. Furthermore, I wanted to play the Marlins in 2003 and the Mets over Dodgers last year.
With that said in reverse order:
3. Cardinals: It will be devastating to lose in the first round, but even worse to their main rival. It is increased incentive for the Cardinals, especially after last year. Cards would have nothing to lose, Cubs have everything to lose.
2. Giants: Rotation in the playoffs scare me a bit, but what a lousy team.
1. Mets--because of the losses in the rotation
2. Giants--because they're not the team they were BUT they maybe have bullshit even-year magic?
3. Cardinals--because rivalry and not making the playoffs hurts them more than losing in the NLDS plus getting eliminated by them in the playoffs would make for horrible sports commentary next throughout next season.
Who's asking?
CLE/DET rained out last night already, possible rain-outs in New York (vs. Baltimore), Boston(vs. Toronto) and Philly(vs. Mets) this weekend too.
Not only games involving playoff spots that would need to be played, but any that involve home field advantage.
I got the first one! Second one I'm not even sure what even/odd betting is.
any opponent preference for NLDS?
Mets are down to 1 great pitcher instead of 4. Syndegaard may pitch Sunday which means if Mets win the WC game, he'd be set up for Game 1. There's a chance they clinch a spot by Sunday so he'd pitch the WC and then we'd probably get Colon for Game 1. They've certainly had the hottest bats over the last week and month out of the WC options.
A couple of Cub related puzzles.
Can't teach height and thinness
Hopefully Pirates don't call up A. Lincoln.


text:
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Is one of only 244 hospitals nationwide to earn distinction two years in a row
North Charleston, S.C./ September 19, 2012 For the second year in a row, Trident Health has been recognized as a Top Hospital in Quality by the Joint Commission, the leading accreditor of health care organizations in America . Trident, Summerville and Moncks Corner Medical Centers attained some of the highest performance scores in the nation in treating heart attacks, heart failure and pneumonia.
Trident Health is one of the 620 hospitals in the U.S. earning the distinction of Top Performer on Key Quality Measures for attaining and sustaining excellence in accountability measure performance. The ratings are based on an aggregation of accountability measure data reported to The Joint Commission during the 2011 calendar year. The list of Top Performers increased by 50 percent from its debut last year, and represents 18 percent of accredited hospitals reporting data.
Trident is the only Charleston area hospital and is one of only 244 (39%) hospitals that achieved the distinction two years in a row. Last year, Trident was recognized by The Joint Commission for its achievement on the following measure sets: heart attacks, heart failure and pneumonia. To be the only Charleston area hospital to earn this recognition two years in a row says a great deal about our commitment to patient care. This years achievement displays the high quality of care patients can expect to receive when they come to Trident, Summerville or Moncks Corner Medical Center, said Todd Gallati, Trident Health CEO.
Each of the hospitals that were named as a Top Performer on Key Quality Measures met two 95 percent (95/95) performance thresholds on 2011 accountability measure data. First, each hospital achieved performance of 95 percent or above on a single, composite score that includes all the accountability measures for which it reports data to The Joint Commission, including measures that had fewer than 30 eligible cases or patients. Second, each hospital met or exceeded 95 percent performance on every accountability measure for which it reports data to The Joint Commission, excluding any measures with fewer than 30 eligible cases or patients. A 95 percent score means a hospital provided an evidence-based practice 95 times out of 100 opportunities to provide the practice. Each accountability measure represents an evidence-based practice for example, giving aspirin at arrival for heart attack patients, giving antibiotics one hour before surgery, and providing a home management plan for children with asthma.
When we raise the bar and provide the proper guidance and tools, hospitals have responded with excellent results, says Mark R. Chassin, M.D., FACP, M.P.P., M.P.H., president, The Joint Commission. This capacity for continual improvement points toward a future in which quality and safety defects are dramatically reduced and high reliability is sought and achieved with regularity. Such day-to-day progress will slowly but surely transform todays health care system into one that achieves unprecedented performance outcomes for the benefit of the patients.
In addition to being included in todays release of The Joint Commissions Improving Americas Hospitals annual report, Trident Health will be recognized on The Joint Commissions Quality Check website (www.qualitycheck.org). The Top Performer program will be featured in the November issue of The Joint Commission Perspectives and the October issue of The Joint Commission: The Source.
Trident Health is an HCA health system comprised of two acute care hospitals Trident Medical Center and Summerville Medical Center as well as Moncks Corner Medical Center. The Joint Commission recently named Trident Health to their list of the nations top hospitals for quality and safety for the second year in a row. In 2011, Trident Health provided almost $45 million in charity and uncompensated care and contributed $38 million in taxes.Accredited by The Joint Commission, Trident Health is committed to providing quality health services along with wellness information and opportunities to the communities it serves. For more information about Trident Health, please visit our website at www.tridenthealthsystem.com or call 843.797.7000.
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text:
But as a gay woman, she also felt burdened by a policy written into the student handbook at her private Christian university, which banned homosexual behavior and advocacy for LGBT issues, she tells PEOPLE exclusively for a portfolio of gay professional athletes who discuss their decision to play and live openly. Watch a video of all the athletes below.
"I definitely wasn't hiding who I was at Baylor," she says. "It was never an issue to feel rejected by my teammates. They were definitely understanding and welcoming with me being who I am. The coaches were, too."
But after being out to friends and family at home in Houston from the age of 15, Griner, now, 23, says the school's official stance – which she didn't discover until the start of her sophomore year – caused tension, especially when a coach called Griner into her office after she sent a Tweet to her then-girlfriend.
"Other players, they can go out on Valentine's Day with their boyfriends and it'd be no problem," she says. "I go out with my girlfriend, I'm getting a phone call, 'Brittney, what were you doing on Valentine's Day?' I had to take my Tweet down. I was like, why do I have to take my Tweet down when my teammates don't have to take theirs down?"
"It definitely felt like there was a double standard."
After deciding to go public with the 2013 WNBA draft, and in a new memoir, In My Skin, Griner says she's put her suppressed identity behind her.
"People tell me I'm going to break the barrier and trailblaze. I just kind of look at it like, I'm just trying to help out, I'm just trying to make it where it's not as tough for the next generation."
She also hopes someday to help reverse the policy at Baylor, a school she still loves. "To break something, we have to bring it up, we have to get it out there, and eventually the topic will start to become more of a conversation," she says.
For more on Brittney Griner and the exclusive portfolio of gay professional athletes, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands now.


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The PB Fashion HK Army Side Skull tee is an extremely comfortable and stylish tee. One solid color with your favorite paintball companies supreme fashion design. HHHHHHHHH!
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text:
I have never met Dan Neil, the Wall Street Journal's automotive columnist, and the only man in history to win a Pulitzer Prize for automotive writing, but I already know there are several things we wouldn't necessarily agree on. His apparent obsession with his clothing would be pretty high on this list, but nevertheless I still respect the man. For the new year, he's published a piece in the WSJ explaining what he believes he got wrong last year. It takes guts to admit you're wrong and even more guts to tell that to millions of readers. Most notable this year was his flattery of the Fisker Karma, an extended-range EV about which Neil says "I tied myself in knots trying to praise the Karma." He says that the ugly political mud being slung at electric cars, and at companies that had taken DOE loans to get off the ground, had motivated him to root for the underdog that is the Karma.
As he put it, he was "too easy" on the Fisker Karma, and he now sees that it is "too heavy, too overpromised in terms of performance and efficiency, and it is just too durably weird-looking to love." I personally like the way it looks, but I see his point. Quite a lot of conversations about electric cars have been far from objective, and much of the time, when there are disagreements about these vehicles, it is politics and not cars that are being argued. An inability to tell genuine interest from political talk has also created a big problem for Nissan when it comes to trying to forecast sales of their electric Leaf, and reviews praising electric cars for no reason other than the fact that they are electric are only going to add to this problem. But Dan Neil has admitted he was wrong, going on to say that he was also too easy on the Dodge Dart. With the Dart, he says that his criticism of its underpowered engine fell much too short of expressing just how aggravatingly slow the car really is. There were some other small technical errors admitted to as well, but the point is that if you were thinking of buying a Karma based on Neil's word, now might be the time to reconsider.


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Who needs a chauffeur?
Not Prince William and the duchess, apparently.
Sans Prince George, William, 31, suited up behind the wheel to drive the new mom, 31, dressed in a black hat and matching coat, to a Sunday church service at Crathie Church in Balmoral, the Scottish summer home of the royals.
The Daily Mail" reports that the couple have been visiting the Royal Family at their Scottish holiday home.
Kate and William joined his grandparents, Queen Elizabeth II, 87, and Prince Philip, 92, at the service, which his father, Prince Charles, 64, and the Duchess of Cornwall also attended.
And William's not the only royal who enjoys a Sunday spin: Charles was also photographed driving Camilla, dressed in tartan, to church.
Prince William Drives Kate to Church in Balmoral
Goff Photos


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The 245 Dorado is the largest model in the Dorado fishing boat fleet--and is the perfect boat for both fishing and family fun offering the ultimate in comfort, style and performance. Designed with Scout's revolutionary NuV3 hull design, the 245 is incredibly fuel efficient and offers you tremendous savings on operating costs annually.
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Please Kenny, stay away from this one. I know you have the smarts not to touch this with a 10 ft pole but apparently, Sather and Tortorella are dumb enough to.
Bleacher Report - Radulov and Rangers Close to a Deal
Oh, they're trading his rights. Well, whatever.
Edited by Crymson, 08 June 2012 - 07:45 PM.


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When Homer arrived I heard he called himself the 'Demolition Man' and I was quite skeptical. You're gonna have to PROVE that I thought to myself. Well here we are all these years later and boy did he ever prove it. Holmstrom's legacy will be that whenever someone plays close to his style or takes abuse out front of the net to score a goal they'll be called a "Holmstrom type player" and that is high praise indeed having your own style. Rest your body Homer, it's too bad the fans couldn't have bought you a nice La-Z-Boy as a going away present.
I think it'd be hilarious if not against fire codes if they put a big bronze Homer statue blocking one of the doors at the Gordie Howe entrance at JLA.
Edited by Jersey Wing, 23 January 2013 - 10:04 AM.


text:
Top Definition
A man or woman, who is hot, sexy, and often has random people following him or her around or hiding in their bushes.
I'm going to ask Andrew out because he is totally stalkable.
Most celebrities are dubbed as stalkable.
Most celebrities are dubbed as stalkable.
מאת Allison Odle 4 בנובמבר, 2007
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
someone sexy or interesting that looks good enough for you to follow and take creepy pictures of
"He's so stalkable I could just rub him in chicken grease and follow his greasy scent everywhere."
מאת adiieee 2 באוגוסט, 2009


text:
A Sustainability Message from
Sr. Margaret Carney, O.S.F., president of St. Bonaventure University. Sustainability Message.
As a campus community, we joyfully embrace the challenge to live in "right relationship" with the environment, with one another and the surrounding communities. Following the spirit of Francis of Assisi, we are committed to:
St. Bonaventure's William E. and Ann L. Swan Business Center was built with adherence to a long list of sustainable building design components, from the use of groundwater for cooling to preservation of trees to reduce cooling loads in warmer months. Learn more about the Swan Business Center's sustainable design components.
St. Bonaventure's William F. Walsh Science Center and the Friedsam Memorial Library's Rare Books addition use underground water for cooling systems, reducing the release of carbon dioxide.
SBU participates in Recyclemania, a yearly contest to see which schools can recycle the most waste. Last year, we made great improvements, recycling nearly a quarter of all refuse.
Application forms, procedures and additional information
There are many ways to experience
St. Bonaventure for yourself
Learn more about the programs that interest you


text:
National Alliance on Mental Illness
page printed from http://www2.nami.org/
(800) 950-NAMI; firstname.lastname@example.com
June 22, 2005
Federal Mental Health Action Agenda Released
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), in collaboration with seven cabinet level federal agencies, today released an Action Plan describing initial steps to be taken as part of a multi-year effort to alter the form and function of America's mental health system. The plan, entitled "Transforming Mental Health Care in America: The Federal Action Agenda", represents an unprecedented collaborative undertaking to define the role of the federal government in giving shape to the New Freedom Commission's call for a fundamental transformation of mental health services in America. The Plan describes 70 action steps that will be taken in the coming months and years to improve collaboration and coordination between various federal agencies responsible for services to children and adults with mental illnesses.
NAMI Executive Director Michael Fitzpatrick, speaking at a press conference to announce the release of the Action Plan, hailed the plan as "an important first step in defining the role that the federal government can play, in partnership with states and communities, in establishing a coherent and cohesive mental health system in America. Today's release of this action plan is particularly timely as decisions about programs of critical importance to people with serious mental illnesses are made." In the coming months, decisions will be made about programs such as Medicaid, Section 8 housing vouchers and other programs of vital importance to people with severe mental illnesses.
A copy of the Action Agenda, the members of the Executive Steering Committee established to implement the agenda, and other supporting documents, can be found by clicking here.


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We're gonna win IMO.
Bowlers will have to be economical.
A follower of the schools of Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett and Benaud
Member of ESAS, JMAS, DMAS, FRAS and RTDAS
when you're winning, you have friends
scores and dozens, real friends
when you're winning, never lonely
when you keep winning
Just checking in to let you know you won't be winning this WC. Sorry. No hard feelings eh?
Oooh, forgot about this
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!
GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individual
Burgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.
Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers
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text:
on October 25, 2012 - 10:42 PM
The low-profile race for the 61st State Senate District seat pits a two-term incumbent against a financially challenged opponent.
Republican Sen. Michael H. Ranzenhofer, 58, won the seat in 2008 and now enjoys all the benefits of incumbency. That includes a load of endorsements from business groups and unions, and campaign contributions of roughly $290,000.
His Democratic opponent, Newstead Town Councilman Justin Rooney, meanwhile, has raised less than $5,000 and said he is counting on the power of grass-roots, door-to-door campaigning in a David-versus-Goliath race. He is also running on the Working Families Party line.
Rooney, 35, said he doesn't mind being taken for granted because the less effort Ranzenhofer puts into his re-election campaign, the greater the chances for Rooney's success.
"I think we're in the right position to do an upset," he said. "I am the average Joe candidate that has put in the time and effort. I still believe that anyone can run and win."
Both candidates will be on the ballot in a broad, redrawn district that no longer includes the City and Town of Tonawanda but picks up two towns in Monroe County, as well as part of the City of Rochester. The 61st District still includes all of Amherst, Clarence and Newstead in Erie County, and all of Genesee County.
The Democratic enrollment slightly exceeds Republican enrollment in the 61st District. Ranzenhofer, however, also carries Conservative and Independence party endorsements, which account for another 12,000 potential votes.
"I work cooperatively, in a bipartisan way, with my fellow senators and the governor to produce real results for the residents I represent," said Ranzenhofer.
Rooney, an Akron resident and GEICO employee, said that as a Newstead councilman for the past six years, he has lowered the general town tax, supported construction of the joint highway facility and courts building, and successfully worked with members of the opposite party to accomplish town business.
As a state senator, Rooney said, he would work to combine state services to save money, repeal the additional State Senate district created by Republicans and work to create a single primary date for both state and federal offices to save taxpayers money.
"I'm going to try to reduce the State Senate, not increase it," he said.
Ranzenhofer, an Amherst resident and lawyer who served as an Erie County legislator from 1989 to 2008, said he supported two on-time state budgets as state senator that lowered spending, cut middle-class tax rates and limited property tax growth. He also secured millions of dollars for manufacturing-related projects in Genesee County and supported restoring money for prescription assistance to low-income seniors, he said.
"We're running a very positive campaign, focusing on our accomplishments," he said.
If re-elected, he said, he will continue to close budget gaps with on-time state budgets that cut spending, support passage of the State Senate's New NY Job Creation Plan and push for additional state mandate relief to municipalities.
email: email@example.com


text:
New Island
this wiki
New Island is an anime-exclusive location featured in Mewtwo Strikes Back as Team Rocket's secret cloning laboratory.
It was operated by Dr. Fuji, a scientist who was forced into working for Giovanni in exchange for research funding. It was here that the artificially-created Pokémon Mewtwo was born, from a fossilized eyebrow of Mew. In its anger at the humans' ideals, Mewtwo destroyed the facility on the island, proceeding to transform it into his base of operations. He then restored the cloning facility, calling on the strongest Pokémon trainers to venture to New Island, in order to clone their Pokémon. After witnessing the lengths Ash would go to protect his Pokémon, Mewtwo saw the error of his ways, and left New Island with the clones. In a post-credits scene, Team Rocket were seen venturing through the abandoned New Island, which in disuse became enveloped in plant life.
In the movie, the distance that the trainers journeyed from Kanto to New Island was shown to be very short. However, this was before the change that saw New Island become positioned between the Sevii Islands and Orange Archipelago respectively.


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Reviewed By alfredo Q (PITTSBURG, CA) Reviewed for a 2002 GMC Yukon XL —4/9/2015 8:14 PM
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Evening Star
Lately, I have been playing occasional matches with
Sioux, and they do as great as iro! after seeing many troll strats, I decided
to contribute to agecomm, and post a strat I have being testing against a few people.
After all, hardly any decent strats have been posted for a while. As the title
enquires, this is a unique strat for Sioux, and it requires using Evening Star.
Now I know most of u hardly plays Sioux often, so you'll be asking… What the
hell is Evening Star??? Well I'll explain it to u later in this strat. Now I'll
just go into the basics of Sioux as I know most of you aren't familiar with
this civ.
1. Sioux
2. Sioux
3. Pros
of Sioux
4. Cons
of Sioux
5. Required
6. Recommended
7. The
Strategy Guide
8. Tips
9. Conclusion
Sioux cavalry
The Sioux have an
exceptionally wide range of cavalry.
Warchief - The Sioux OP unit.
He has a speed of 7.76 and boosts the speed of your nearby units.
Axe Rider - This unit has less
HP than a hussar, however, its beastly damage output + the warchief speed boost
makes it an epic combo for raiding.
Bow Rider - Good ranged
cavalry unit. Unlike most RC (ranged cav), it is available in the 2nd
age. To make matters better, it doesn't have a -0.5 multiplier against civilian
units making them speedy and deadly against settlers when mixed with warchief.
Rifle Rider -
Clearly the best RC against HI. RR can wipe out battalions of rodelero,
janissary, musketeer, and basically any HI, cav and artillery. Unfortunately,
this unit can only be trained in the 3rd age L.
Tashunke Prowlers -
This unit is totally UP when in low numbers. However, if u have all 12 of them,
then their attack and HP stack up to form a formidable army. Their stealth
ability can ambush armies and can take out a lot of soldiers if u unstealth
them right in front of your enemy's army. IMO the tashunke spam takes a bit too
long. I don't recommend it until you have mastered it.
Dog Soldier - I know u can only
spawn them via the firepit, but the 2 dog soldier shipment in age 2 can change
the whole outcome of the battle as dog soldiers = OP in age 2.
Sioux infantry
Hey guess what? Sioux inf isn't as bad as every1 expects!
Cetan Bow – The easiest Sioux
strat to master is probably cetan spam IMO, but that's not what this strat is
Warclub – The warclub just
isn't a great all-purpose unit. But, if u need a bit of siege and extra
anti-cav, then warclub is your man.
Wakina Rifle –
Wakina is really good IMO. They r cheap as hell and aren't that bad compared to
3] Pros of Sioux
No housing – Sioux start with
200 pop, so you don't have to worry about chopping wood for houses. IMO this is
what makes the Sioux rush only 1 notch below India and Iroquois. Also u can
send beastly outlaw cards without worrying about pop.
Warchief – The Sioux has the
fasted explorer unit in the game, so take advantage of that and scout scout
scout! Good to scout the whole map for good treasures and enemy TC. Also its
speed boost is very useful, so always make sure to put it behind cav when
raiding. Or put it behind RR (rifle rider) and it will be able to Hit & run
like no other.
Cavalry – Sioux has a wide
range of cavalry, and most of them r OP for raiding, so make sure u make the
right choice of cav combos. EG: RR + Axe rider + just a few Wakina Pwns most
Cons of Sioux
Walling – The great Sioux
nation has no walls, so always stay alert. And try not to lag the game to
industrial in a 1v1 where Sioux gets weaker.
Economy – The most know
disadvantage of Sioux is its apparent bad eco, but it doesn't seem that bad
IMO. Just don't go imperial fighting because the disadvantage of no walls + bad
eco will make u lose.
Now for the big question… What is Evening Star???
Evening Star is a card which will transform all your axe
riders to Rifle riders. Like I mentioned, the only true counter of RR is LI or
RC but RC can only be trained in age 3 so RR + Axe rider = formidable age 2
combo with no counter except
the Chinese Keshniks, Sioux Bow rider and the Indian Zamburuks.
Now ladies and gentlemen… I bring you the Sioux Evening
Required cards
3 villagers – I think none need
to be said here
4 axe riders –
Also obvious
700 food – This card helps u
get 5 axe riders out as they cost a LOT of food. Also, it helps u gain 100 XP
and that means a faster Evening Star.
3 axe riders – U
have a choice of either 700 food or 3 axe riders. I prefer 700 food as it gives
u that valuable 100XP, but if ur getting pushed back, then I recommend this
Recommended cards
700 gold – If ur RR r dead,
and ur enemy crippled, I recommend u fortresize and train a few of the OP
wakina and RR.
7 warclubs – To take down that
pesky TC.
10 pistolero –
This can actually be a very useful card. Good siege and big attack.
15 bison – Axe riders cost a
lot of food so if u run out of hunts, then send this card
4 villagers – A good economic
card. Gets that eco running again.
6 cetan bow/3 grizzly bears –
Just in case.
The Strategy
Standard age 1. I won't waste my time explaining what to
do. Warchief scout for good treasures. If u started with 100 gold, then scout
for XP treasures as it will help u morning star earlier. If u started with no
gold, then simply gather a few gold treasures. 1st card 3 villagers.
Age up around 3:00 with 'The chief' politician (400 wood).
Transition: depends on how much gold u have at the
moment. 100 gold: 2 villies on coin. 200 gold: 1 villie on gold. No gold: 3
villies on coin. Send villies to herd 2nd and sometimes the 3rd
herd in the case of Great Plains.
Age 2: as soon as u age, send the 4 axe rider card. It needs
to be out as soon as possible for raiding. Send 3 villies to gather wood. As soon
as u have 200 wood, send 4 villies to build a corral. 4 axe riders will arrive
around 5:20. Corral build around 5:25. As soon as the corral is built, queue 5
axe riders. Join the warcheif with the 4 axe rider shipment and raid. Raiding
is very important. Sioux has not so good eco, and the only way to balance that
is to degrade ur opponent's eco. 3rd shipment should be ready as
soon as ur 5 axe rider comes out. Queue another 5 axe riders and then send 700
food. Like i said, send military shipment if ur been rushed hard. But if u can
restrain it, send 700 food. Keep pumping out villagers! 2nd batch of
axe out around 6:45. Queue 1 axe rider and when the 700 food arrives, u should
have enough food to train 4 more. Always keep resources balanced. U need a 4:1
food to gold resource ratio as soon as 4th shipment is ready, send
Evening Star. 2/5 way though the shipment, line as much axe riders as u
possibly can. The point is for your current axe riders to transform info RR,
but ur going to have another 5 axe riders to take of those pesky LI. Keep queuing
Force: 19 RR (if ur 4 raiding axe rider didn't die) + 5
axe rider + warcheif and converted treasure guardians.
The RR can easily take on an army of 50+musketeers and
not die. Just hit % run because the muskets will run scattered so just pick
them off. The axe riders r important! They r the only way to destroy LI
efficiently. Make sure u micro well. 4th card is of ur choice. 7
warclubs if u think u need extra siege. 10 pistolero if u have enough coin.
Etc... Just pick the right card for the situation that u r in right now. From now
on, it's totally up to ur choice what to do.
8] Tips
The RR is VERY important. If they die, u can't
get them back until age 3. So make sure u have ur warchief behind and they'll
be able to hit & run like no other.
If your RR die it will have at least made ur enemy's
eco momentarily stun. And so I suggest u fortresize. U will be able to control
him better if u have an OP wakina + RR and they're fighting with colonial
units. Just keep on scouting out what he is doing, cause he's either doing 2 things:
fortresizing or massing colonial units. If hes massing colonial, then build a chop
wood and build a war hut. That way, as soon as u reach fortress age, u will be
able to train OP wakina.
The Evening Star Variation 2: instead of
aging up with 400 wood, age up with 500 food. U will be able to train more axe
riders however, u do need to chop 200 wood to build a corral. The reason I used
400 wood is because I can build a war hut or another corral when I need to. Its
totally up to ur choice. If u want a bigger force, then age up with 500 food,
if u want to train some war hut units (e.g.: warclub for siege), then I suggest
u age up with 400 wood.
This strat worked very well against Dutch. They
only have pike as age 2 HI and RR hit & run pike. U can use the cav's speed
to flank ur enemy and take down his LI etc. This strat works the best for civs
that don't have ranged HI. The only civs i don't recommend this against is
India, China, or another Sioux opponent. I saw this because they r all able to
train RC in age 2 and RR gets pwned by is infantry or RC.
Soz for the no replays. I forgot to make it recently. Well.
That concludes my Sioux Morning Star Guide. I hope u enjoyed it and feel free
to criticize and make suggestions about making this strategy better. i hope this helps u be more familiar with sioux.
so what do u guys think?
TacticalWillie:Troll should be banned, not only do they lower the quality of help, especially for new player asking for help or reading the forums they won't know what is viable strategy or a troll strategy.
I Like Sioux , that evening star card is good . Someone may be jealous of tactical willie though
RainbowZ:TacticalWillie should stop noobbashing colonels.
Grandevous:so what do u guys think?
This strat is awesome! normally i just cetan spam and attack with outlaw pistoleros, but i forgot that evening star can be used early on in game this is pretty good. However, you can make RR in age 2 with a port team mate, lol. (more expensive than Axe rider i think but still its possible)
@willie my iroqouis scout strat doesnt work really well at all and i just tried the spain perfection rush and got beat badly. This leads me to the conclusion that they really suck!!!
more tips:
-just before the evening star arrives, send all ur axe riders to raid. the point is to just let ur enemy have a peek of ur army. once he sees its all cav, he will train more HI and he will send his army after ur army. once the transformation is complete, his HI r gonna be completely smacked by the RR. its a good tactic to make ur opponent waste a lot of resources through military loss.
-few seconds before ur 4 axe riders arrive, scout ur enemy's TC with warcheif. if he has sent 700 gold as his 1st card, then i recommend u build a warhut and train warclubs to rip down that TC.
TacticalWillie:The OP Sioux war-chief and OP rr in age two, this is a revolutionary tactic! Definitely OP strategy! Combine this with, Skhsri's Iroquois stealth scout attack, My Perfect Spanish rush, and your Sioux Evening Star! That would be so much OP on one team nothing could stop us!
what do u mean us??? im not playing on ur team...
StormComing:great, post your horse porn for all to see
this proove how gud is irq and how bad is port
knight_br:Optimal explanation .. very succinctly
LordStefanIII: Unkown_Genius:Leave it to Age.Comm to get a thread twenty miles off topic.:)Or turn into a flame war.
Unkown_Genius:Leave it to Age.Comm to get a thread twenty miles off topic.
Grandevous: TacticalWillie:The OP Sioux war-chief and OP rr in age two, this is a revolutionary tactic! Definitely OP strategy! Combine this with, Skhsri's Iroquois stealth scout attack, My Perfect Spanish rush, and your Sioux Evening Star! That would be so much OP on one team nothing could stop us!
what do u mean us??? im not playing on ur team...


text:
Chef retiring after 24 years in BB Rooners' kitchen
May 14, 2013
SALEM — "I know one thing, we've sure had a lot of chefs come through here," Frank Engle said last week. He should know because at 66 he's retiring after 24 years in the kitchen at B.B....
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Prosecutors have charged a 23-year-old Kansas City with murder in connection with a fatal shooting late Tuesday near 75th Street and Troost Avenue.
De-Mon M. Woolridge, 24, of Kansas City, was shot outside a liquor store. Police said the shooter fled the scene in Woolridge's car. Witnesses said there had been an altercation in the parking lot between Woolridge and another man.
Officers traced the car to a home near 72nd Street and Lydia Avenue. After a standoff at the house that lasted several hours, police said they took a small group of people into custody.
Prosecutors announced that Raymond Douglas has been charged with second-degree murder and armed criminal action.


text:
on March 7, 2013 - 7:16 AM
Aug. 12, 1961 – March 3, 2013
William Martin Fallon, a decorated agent and one of the more public faces of the FBI in Buffalo, died unexpectedly Sunday in Millard Fillmore Suburban Hospital, Amherst. He was 51.
Mr. Fallon started with the FBI in 1998 and spent his entire career in the Buffalo office working with the FBI's criminal and national security programs. His assignments included the Joint Terrorism Task Force and the hostage negotiation team.
He was widely known throughout the local law enforcement community as "The Mayor" because of his reputation among his peers.
"Bill Fallon was liked and admired by all who knew him," said Christopher M. Piehota, special agent in charge of the Buffalo office of the FBI. "He was a genuinely good man, the likes of which you don't see very often. He was truly the mayor wherever he went."
Mr. Fallon was active in his community and church, St. Mary Catholic Church in Swormville, where he was on the Parish Council and involved in the Men's Retreat.
Family members say he had "passion for serving his country and local community," a trait that prompted his involvement with MIA and POW organizations looking into the fate of Vietnam War veterans. One of Mr. Fallon's uncles, U.S. Air Force Col. Patrick M. Fallon, is considered to be one of the 600 Americans lost in the "secret war" in Laos.
Mr. Fallon, who did temporary duty investigating Hurricane Katrina fraud and the Flight 3407 crash in Clarence Center, also earned accolades as an FBI special agent. He received an "Investigator of the Year" award from the Federal Law Enforcement Foundation and was presented the first ever FBI Agents Association's President's Award.
A native of Pittsburgh, Mr. Fallon was a 1984 graduate of St. Vincent College in Latrobe, Pa.
He received his master's degree in strategic leadership from Roberts Wesleyan College in Rochester last year.
Survivors include his wife of 25 years, Nancy; two daughters, Bridget and Alexis; three brothers, Jeff, Patrick and Dr. Regis Fallon; and five sisters, Maureen Bridgeland, Alice Callahan, Colleen Lenaghan, Eileen Henot and Dr. Sheila Fallon.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered at 10:30 a.m. Saturday in St. Mary's Church, 6919 Transit Road, Swormville.


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Beef Sustainability Project
Contact: , 308-697-3486;
The Beef Sustainability Assessment, which is funded by the Beef Checkoff Program, marks the first time any industry has ever measured the sustainability of its entire supply chain. This important work positions the beef industry to lead the conversations about industry sustainability.
The Beef Checkoff Program was established as part of the 1985 Farm Bill. The checkoff assesses $1 per head on the sale of live domestic and imported cattle, in addition to a comparable assessment on imported beef and beef products. States retain up to 50 cents on the dollar and forward the other 50 cents per head to the Cattlemen's Beef Promotion and Research Board, which administers the national checkoff program, subject to USDA approval.


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Top Definition
To not be able to be reached by standard means of communication (i.e. phone / email / txt) for a several hour period.
Bro, what happened to you last weekend, I couldn't track you down. Don't go dark on me again.
di sftron 09 gennaio 2008
Trending Now
Can you define these popular missing words?
To be outside communication range, especially after hours.
When the response team in Europe go dark, your call will be automatically rerouted to Australasia.
di yabbadabba 24 febbraio 2008


text:
Harley Pasternak Touts Protein Powder, Fiber and Vitamins
But even without me as a customer, the supplement industry is BOOMING. Americans spend billions of dollars on products touted to help them lose weight, boost energy, restore hair loss or improve sleep. Just yesterday I saw not one, but two different cast members of MTV's Jersey Shore hawking weight loss pills on Internet ads.
When I was in graduate school, I worked as a nutrition scientist for the Department of National Defence in Canada.
My first assignment was to review all the research that had ever been published on supplements that claimed to increase strength, endurance, energy and muscle gain.
I was shocked to learn that many of the "magic pills" marketed to the general public are nothing more than hype. From smilax to velvet deer antler, and boron to vanadyl, there was no evidence to show these things actually did much of anything helpful.
It made me wonder why no one was asking for proof. Where was the hard evidence these companies claimed to have that proved their products were as effective as the advertising promised?
These are supplements that provide us with a nutrient, or nutrients, in a convenient application for times when we are unable (or unwilling) to eat actual food.
These supplements don't make outrageous claims. They are not dangerous or controversial. And, they exist just to make it a little easier to get all the nutrients you need when you are busy, in a rush or have specific food allergies or aversions that make it difficult to get enough of certain nutrients.
Here are the three categories of "convenience nutritionals" I always keep in the house.
Protein powderThe body cannot store protein as easily as it can carbohydrates and fats. So, it is essential that we frequently ingest small amounts of protein throughout the day.
However, grilling a chicken breast or sautéeing lentils isn't always an option. That's why I always keep a good quality protein powder in the house to boost my smoothies. I personally like whey protein. It's a complete protein (has all of the essential amino acids), is easy for the body to absorb, and is lactose free.
Whether you choose whey or prefer other proteins like egg white (albumin), casein (the other dairy protein), soy, brown rice or another option, make sure there are no added carbohydrates or unhealthy fats!
FiberFiber makes you feel fuller faster, reduces transit time (time that food takes to get through your digestive tract and out of your body), can reduce bad cholesterol and various cancers.
When you can't seem to find enough fibrous fruit, veggies or whole grains, a good fiber supplement can make your day much healthier. But remember, fiber from actual food is always a better choice.
Try to aim for 30 to 40 grams of fiber a day.
Psyllium, Inulin (chicory root) and oat fiber are just some of the options most common in pharmacies and grocery stores.
Make sure to drink tons of water with any fiber supplement you take.
MultivitaminsBelieve it or not, close to 90 percent of adult Americans do not get their recommended servings of fruits and vegetables each day.
Needless to say, nothing is better than the real thing, and we need to make more of an effort to eat that apple a day. In the meantime, a daily multivitamin is a great insurance policy. It ensures you'll get all the micronutrients you need to be healthy, if you happen to miss one or more vitamins and minerals on any given day.
While recent research concluded that taking a daily multivitamin does not necessarily reduce your chances of getting cancer or heart disease, several studies purport health benefits like improving memory.
As I mentioned before, nothing is as good for you as eating real food. Whenever possible, try to buy local, in-season, and hormone-free produce and dairy!
What kind of supplements do you take and why? Tweet me @harleypasternak and share your thoughts.
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