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Sound redundant? Read on to find out why it isn't.
Free software is great. But one of the biggest appeals of it is that it is free. In other words, you don't pay for it. Unfortunately, with online applications, that isn't always true. Take photo galleries for example. All I wanted to do was to create a photo gallery powered by Gallery2. The problem was, I share my web hosting. So I didn't have access to a MySQL database. Gallery2 requires MySQL. The obvious (sounding) answer was to buy hosting. But students don't make a ton of money. Besides, I wanted to use free software without paying. Thus began the search for a way for me to host a photo gallery without paying a dime.
Free hosting
When someone says "free hosting", you usually think of GeoCities or Bravenet. In other words, you think of bad looking sites that have tons of ads, offer little for client-side scripting languages and nothing for server-side, and (in the case of Bravenet) often give you unwanted tracking cookies. I didn't want that. But luckily, times are changing. Companies all over the place are popping up with free web hosting. Often, this hosting will come with PHP and MySQL. Sometimes it doesn't even have ads.
What I needed
My idea was to create a photo gallery so I could share my photos with my friends. I wanted to use either Gallery2 or ZenPhoto. Both required PHP 4.10+, and a database (for Gallery2, MySQL 3.x, 4.x or 5.x, PostgreSQL 7.x or 8.x, Oracle 9i or 10g, DB2 8.2, MS SQL Server 2005, for ZenPhoto, My SQL 3.23+). Gallery2 also needs ImageMagick or NetPBM, while ZenPhoto requires GD support.
I also wanted to make sure the host I ended up with had no ads, and used a subdomain for quick access. Lastly, I wanted the host to give a decent amount of space (my pictures are rather big).
The search
Although my specifications might seem big, there were five hosts that fit the bill nicely. I tried them out in turn and got some interesting results.
My first stop was AddYour.net. I had used them before, and had fond memories of them. The problem is, they take forever to sign up. It often takes six tries to sign up. Once you do, however, they're great. They give you 500MB of space, PHP, MySQL, and a ton of other stuff. However, there was just one more problem. When I visited them, their servers were down. Hosts that go down without warning are usually not ones to stay with. Scratch AddYour.net off the list.
The next three on my list were Quotaless.com, 789MB.com, and PutSpace. Unfortunately, I couldn't log into my FTP account in all three. Forget it. You can't upload ZenPhoto or Gallery2 through a web-based uploader.
I then tried 666gb.com. No, they don't give 666 GB of space. They give you 6.66GB of space, with 66.6GB of bandwidth. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, they don't support .htaccess, which ZenPhoto required. But Gallery2 doesn't require .htaccess. In addition, I found out that 666GB includes a nifty application installer that automates the installation of Gallery2 (they call it "gallery"). Then, I got a...
Error: Your version of PHP is configured with safe mode enabled. You must disable safe mode before Gallery will run.
You'd think that they'd actually want you to think that they were a good web host.
Alternatives: Software
Well, I was a tad upset. After all, I was going to have to go back to Flickr or Yahoo! Photos, neither of which are very customizable. Then, it dawned on me. Why not use a piece of software that doesn't use MySQL, and host it on my shared server (powered by GoDaddy)? After hitting my self over the head about six times, deleting the Gallery2 folder, and doing some searching, I found three options that seemed like they might answer: Gallery1 (the little brother of Gallery2), SimpleViewer (with the SimpleViewerAdmin plugin), or a JavaScript image viewer like TripTracker and SmoothGallery.
Gallery1 is the less powerful version of Gallery2. Unlike Gallery2, it doesn't require a database (making it perfect for me). In addition, it installed extremely easily. However, I didn't like it. The CSS looked horrible. The good news was that it was easy to upload photos to it via my photo organizer, digiKam. Unfortunately, the bad outweighed the good. I decided that I wouldn't use it unless there was no other alternative.
SimpleViewer is completely Flash based. The downside of this is that my visitors need Flash 7 or higher to view it. The upside is that it doesn't require any SQL or PHP. Unfortunately, SimpleViewer didn't work for me when I tried to upload some photos from digiKam (it couldn't create the FTP directory). In order to use SimpleViewer, I had to manually add the pictures by editing the XML file, uploading to Flickr and then importing them into SimpleViewer, or using the SimpleViewerAdmin plugin (which doesn't, as far as I can tell, support batch uploading).
The last option was to use JavaScript albums, like TripTracker and SmoothGallery. But for them, you'd have to manually add a link to each image. That was DEFINITELY not for me. I might as well just upload it via SimpleViewer.
Alternatives: hardware
I sadly went back to the Gallery2 page to mourn. Then, I saw something. It was a link to the Gallery appliance, which turned out to be a VMWare virtual machine. Suddenly, I wondered if I could host my gallery myself. But then, the reality kicked in. It might work for some. But I don't leave my computer on all day (I turn it off at night to save power). Besides, I've only got 1 GB of RAM. Running a server, KDE, Skype, Gaim, SuperKaramba, Amarok, CheckGmail, and KDevelop at the same time would't really work.
My other option was to use a physical computer as a server. In fact, I had an old computer (with 128 MB of RAM and a 20GB HD running Windows XP) laying around. But the problem was that I didn't know the IP address of that computer. Going to an IP detection site just gave me my router's IP address. And lastly, the machine could only connect to the internet via a wireless device (through USB 1.1 ). It was pathetically slow.
The solution
This is the part of the article where I magically produce the solution. Unfortunately, I don't have one. Basically, I have to either continue using Yahoo! Photos, Flickr, or PicasaWeb, or buy web hosting. For now, those are my only options.
HTML/CSS gallery
i'm not sure if i got your problem right (read it quite quickly). But doesn't digiKam (or some other photo album software) allow for an export into a complete HTML/CSS gallery? i mean, it just creates a folder.. Then you could host it on your shared server without needing PHP/MySQL.
I shortly used JAlbum in that way a long time ago. There are a lot of nice CSS-skins for it, however it is only free as in free beer... but probably there are similar, free, alternatives..
Yes, but...
You are absolutely right. However, the problem with exporting an HTML/CSS gallery is that then you have create a homepage with the same theme and then manually link to the gallery. Besides, with more advanced gallery software, you can do things like comment, or rate, something HTML/CSS just can't do. However, if you didn't want to use Flickr, and needed to host it yourself, this could be another good way.
Andrew Min
keep trying
If your spare computer is up to running XP, it'll probably be capable as a webserver, though will likely need more memory. We tried running gallery2 on a p350 with 256Mb of RAM, but it ran into swap. If you're at college, make friends with the IT dept, as in all likelihood they'll regularly decommission older machines, and may have memory spare for free, or at most beer money.
The wireless device should be fast enough to serve content at an acceptable rate.
Then you need to set up port forwarding for port 80 on your router, so any web requests at your router's IP get handled by your server.
It's a good opportunity to learn a lot along the way :)
Just ditch WinXP!
A server doesn't need a GUI; once ready, running it without X loaded (you can also remove sane, cups and all) it should fit the bill.
Now, you can configure your router so that ports 80/81 and 20/21 are always redirected to that machine (give it a static IP address on your subnet, HTTP/FTP access hitting your router from outside will be automatically redirected to that machine)
However, you need a GOOD web access to handle this kind of traffic... If you have less than 256 Kbps on upstream, forget about it - especially for a site with Content.
A computer is like air conditioning: it becomes useless when you open windows.
Why not?
What about actual software that you use on you computer to create the gallery and then just upload it. If not that then maybe there are some links here they you may find helpful.
I think needs MySQL-using gallery web-applications needs to start using sqlite. I wouldn't be surprised if that's supported just find by one or 2 of these free webhosters.
Possible with some tweaking, you could probably get those to work just fine with sqlite.
All you need is a technically inclined person to replace some PHP-code.
"Free software is great. But
"Free software is great. But one of the biggest appeals of it is that it is free"
No, not necessarily.
"Free software is a matter of liberty, not price."
Otherwise, nice strawman of an article.
How about only PHP?
I has similar problems a while ago when my girlfriend wanted to build pages for herself.
Fortunately I had 100 Mb of space hosted by a certain magazine. The problem was that the webspace had only PHP-support. I didn't even bother to search any free PHP-galleries, but wrote one simple myself. Of course it wasn't anything fancy; It just loaded picture thumbnails from a directory and the pictures from other, arranged them to a gallery and read the picture title and explanation from a separate file. The gallery's looks were defined by separate html/css -files.
Similar approach might fit to you too if you can find free php somewhere (might be easier than php+mysql).
I actually did try that approach, but I couldn't seem to find some good gallery software. The idea of building one myself never occurred to me (probably since I don't know enough about MySQL). Interesting...
Andrew Min
You could have saved a lot
You could have saved a lot of typing and simply installed Gallery 1.5.x from Menalto, which doesn't require a MySQL db.
Don't Give Up
I know you were looking for a free option, but for what you want, you more than likely will have to pay for it (bandwidth isn't free). What i recommend is trying a different web host. I use http://www.nearlyfreespech.net . While not free, they are extremely cheap, you only pay for what storage and bandwidth you use. About a year ago i set up an account with them and deposited US$20. Since that time, I have registered a domain and hosted several hobby sites with them, and I still have about a 1/4 of my initial deposit with them. I'm not saying that their service is right for everyone, but you might want to check it out.
Try WordPress
You could continue to use Flickr or Yahoo! Photos to host your photos, then set up a WordPress (WP) blog. You could set up a free WP blog with wordpress.com or install WP on one of the free hosts that you outlined. Then link to your Flickr (or whatever) hosted photos. If you wanted to get more advanced there are plenty of photo gallery plugins for WP. WP will allow your visitors to comment on the photos, yourself to provide text descriptions of the photos, & there are plenty of really good looking themes...
I hope this helps.
gallery2 and databases
gallery2 will run just fine with postgresql; I have been doing so on my home web server for the last three years.
Alternative galleries
Another flash gallery http://flash-gallery.com


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Showing off her gorgeous gams, Taylor Swift looked hot in a white Kaufman Franco plunging neckline dress at the 40 Principales Awards in Spain.
And here's Nicole Richie killing it in a black leather skirt and polka dot sheer blouse at the Ferragamo Presents Spring Runway Collection.
Downton Abbey's Lily James wore Donna Karan to Britain's National Television Awards and paired her crimson dress with a matching lip. Do we sense some V-Day inspiration here??
Revenge star Madeleine Stowe proves you can't go wrong in a belted Bottega Veneta cocktail dress with a tiered skirt. Can we look this amazing when we're 54?!
Rocking a sheer black top and neon yellow jeans, Shay Mitchell looked adorable at the L'Amour By Nanette Lepore For JCP Launch Party!
Rosie Huntington Whiteley was the definition of street chic out and about in New York City. Now this is how you do leopard on leopard accessories with a wide-brim hat!

subset: commoncrawl


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Unlocking the mysteries of animal movement through precision, near real-time tracking can solve major conservation challenges and transform wildlife science worldwide. For the past year scientists at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute have been working with aviation and aerospace leaders, led by Airbus Americas, Inc, to launch the "Partners in the Sky" program using aviation and aerospace technology to create a first-of-its-kind global animal tracking system.
Aviation and aerospace companies are volunteering their resources to help track the movement of thousands of animals, using technologies and programs similar to those they use every day–whether in satellite navigation, communication, and surveillance, or in high-fidelity tracking.
|Track Shanthi, an Asian elephant at the Smithsonian's National Zoo.
|Track black-crowned night herons as they migrate between the National Zoo and the Gulf of Mexico.
|Track wild elephants in Sri Lanka.
Real-time tracking is not yet live, but will be soon!
Position reports from three recently tagged black-crowned night herons will also be included, marking the first time that scientists will actually know the migratory route and winter destinations of these birds after they leave the National Zoo each summer.
An "Animal Trax" module will be integrated into the Zoo's app in mid-2014. Through "Animal Trax," users can keep track of the movements of their favorite animal.
These initial proof-of-concept technology demonstrations showcase the promise of Partners in the Sky.


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1962—50 years ago• The city rec department set its schedule for baton twirling classes from ages four through 11-and-up.• The days when draft horses were used for farming and hauling wagons officially ended in Redwood County when harness maker Chris Schulte decided to close his E. 2nd St. shop after 56 years in business.• Construction crews continued on the project to get natural gas pipelines available for use in Redwood Falls by Oct., 1963.• John Miller of Minneapolis won the Redwood Falls Golf Club's invitational in his first time competing. His score: two-over-par 107 for 27 holes.• At approximately 6:35 p.m. on July 10, 1962, Redwood Falls TV viewers got to watch tests for television pictures bounced off the Telstar communications satellite launched earlier that day. The test pictures were broadcast on all three television networks simultaneously.1987—25 years ago• A local group, Citizens United for a Better Educational System (CUBES) recommended the Redwood school district start a separate middle school for kids in grades six, seven, and eight.• Foreign exchange student Rosa Maria Lopez Jorrin of Madrid Spain, who attended RFHS in 1967-68, attended the class's 20th reunion.• Six teenage boys, who dubbed themselves "The Suicide Skaters" lobbied the city council to build a skateboard park either in Ramsey Park, or by the public swimming pool.• The Redwood Falls Morton High School Jazz Band performed at the dedication of the new Lions Club band shell next to Lake Redwood.• The city passed a new ordinance making it illegal to feed animals at the Ramsey Park zoo after the city's insurance company expressed fears of having to deal with potential injury claims.• After 50 years, the RFHS class of 1937 held its first-ever reunion.2002—10 years ago• Sharon Hollatz retired as Executive Director of the Girl Scout Peacepipe Council after 25 years with the organization.• To celebrate slow days at work, flight paramedic Cindy McAlpin would wander over to the pasture next to North Air Care to feed carrots to the horses.• Every child who brought a pet to the library's pet show walked away with an award, even of some of the categories had to me made up on the spot. Some of the categories: "Littlest, greenest, and most cold-blooded," and "Best resembling a Russian spy."• The old Morton high school building, one of three schools still licenced to operate a coal furnace, finally made the switch to natural gas.• On a trip to Alaska, Pat Schoffman of Redwood Falls spent 45 minutes fighting a 64-pound King Salmon out of the Kenei River.Schoffman and his friends were so excited weighing the fish once they got it ashore they didn't notice their boat floating away down the river.
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Location, ST | website.com


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Don't Get Bent Out of Shape — Open Your Hips!
Few things outrage me more than bad posture. I get really bent out of shape when I see people who are literally bent out of shape. It is so simple to improve your posture, and it is totally free and requires no gym membership.
Here are some Don'ts:
1. Don't lean into one hip and cock it off to one side.
2. Don't slump your spine like a willow tree.
3. Don't emulate the posture of Paris Hilton.
Here are some Do's:
1. Stand up straight.
2. Point your toes forward.
3. Have some respect for your own structure.
Okay, good, glad I got that off my chest.


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SNOWMASS VILLAGE - As our winter season finally arrives with the first significant snow, the 45th anniversary of the Snowmass ski area will be celebrated Dec. 16, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. in Base Village.
Entertainment on the Base Village Plaza will include DJ Ronnie, Dance Progressions, Anderson Ranch family activities, a scavenger hunt, prize drawing and much more.
While you are there, stop by Rob Carney's new Snowmass Bakery location on the first floor of the Red Barn building. It is the bakery's second location in Snowmass Village. The other shop is in the Snowmass Center between Cleaner Express and the Aspen Sports outlet.
Carney opened his 850-square-foot Snowmass Bakery on the Base Village Plaza on Thanksgiving Day.
"We couldn't be in a better spot," said Carney, as he took a quick break to down his lunch. In addition to opening his second Snowmass Bakery in town, Carney is currently remodeling and expanding his Snowmass Bakery shop at the Snowmass Center.
"We're right at the base of the mountain," continued Carney. "It's 55 steps to the six-pack and 42 steps to the gondola. We have this great sunny patio and a lot more visibility."
Rob Carney has been baking muffins, cinnamon rolls, cookies and other bakery items in Snowmass Village for almost 20 years. He began in 1993 at Paradise Bakery on the Snowmass Mall. When Panera Bread purchased all 75 Paradise Bakery locations in 2009, the Patterson brothers who owned the Aspen and Snowmass bakeries kept the Aspen shop and sold the Snowmass business to Carney.
Instead of opening up another Paradise Bakery franchise, Carney changed the name to Snowmass Bakery in 2009.
"We have had many of the same items on the menu for years," said Carney. "We freshly bake all of our muffins, croissants, cookies, cinnamon rolls, and other bakery items the first thing every morning. We will be baking the items for both locations at our newly expanded shop in the Snowmass Center."
In addition to those items at breakfast, you can also pick up bagels, breakfast burritos, fruit bars and fruit croissants. A new breakfast item this winter at the Snowmass Bakery is a fresh-baked biscuit with either ham and cheese or bacon and cheese.
Snowmass Bakery also offers a full range of coffee drinks, tea, orange juice, hot cocoa, soft drinks and waters.
"Last weekend in the snow we must have sold a couple of hundred lattes," said Carney. "So we're going to be a big coffee place for skiers and riders to stop in and get warm."
Since he's steps away from the Treehouse Kids' Adventure Center, Snowmass Bakery will also be a great place for parents to stop in before or after dropping their kids off.
At lunch, Snowmass Bakery offers sandwiches, wraps, salads and soups. Try the Mayflower, a sandwich with smoked turkey, cranberry sauce and mayonnaise on dark break or the Chicken Artichoke panini, which has sliced chicken breast, Swiss cheese and sun-dried tomatoes on ciabatta bread.
"You can always get a sandwich freshly made for your order at Snowmass Bakery," said Carney. "But new this winter are some "grab-and-go" sandwiches that are made each morning. You get potato chips or a cookie and can have lunch on your way up the mountain."
To expand into two locations, Rob Carney needed a partner, and he found one in his neighbor, former Snowmass policeman Brady Jax.
"There's no way I could have done this without Brady," said Carney. "He handles the construction and maintenance ends of the business, and he remodeled both the Base Village and the Snowmass Center shops."
Both Snowmass Bakery locations - Base Village and Snowmass Center - are currently open seven days a week from 7:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Catering available for meetings, parties, holidays and special gatherings. Please call ahead for large orders. 970-923-4712.
Steve Alldredge is the former associate editor/reporter for the Snowmass Sun. He now runs a local communications company whose clients include Related Colorado. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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This week we will be talking about how Jimmy Kimmel pranked America. Did you fall for it?
What do you think about Kristen Stewert accepting a $500,000 offer from an unnamed Middle Eastern prince just for a 15-minute chat? Or can you believe Sharon Osborne had a fling with Jay Leno?
What do you want to know about the latest in pop culture? You can submit your questions, comments or reactions in the comment box below. You can sign in using one of many social media accounts or you can enter a user name - no verification required. We want to hear from you and chat with you about the latest in Tinseltown.
This "Hollywood Gone Wild" chat takes place every Friday at 2 p.m. ET/11 a.m. PT.


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I am trying to find the right interval between a meal and a run. I thought 2.5 hours would suffice but I noticed that I am still digesting while running which is not comfortable at all!
How long do you wait?
I experience problems with low blood sugar if I don't eat anything for more than 5 hours, so I try to keep the time between a meal and a workout to the necessary minimum.But what is the right minimum?
I try not to eat too heavy, too fatty meals, I focus more on carbs such as bread rolls and porridge and add a few proteins (ham, buttermilk). I amtrying to figure everything out and appreciate your input!
Thank you!
I would say it depends how much you are eating as to how long you should wait. I try to eat a small snack (100 calories or so) within about 30 min of my run. If I'm doing a long run I'll eat a full breakfast (approx 350 cals) and wait about 2 hours before heading out to run. Occasionally, if I don't want to eat a meal and am worried about low blood sugar I'll take a GU packet about 15 min before my run and that will usually keep me going through an hour or so without issue. I'd recommend trying out different times and different amounts of food, everyone is a little different so what works for me might not necessarily work for you.
Good luck!
Race History
5K - Apr 2009: 39:00
5K - Jun 2009: 36:55
5K - Sep 2009: 34:06
10K - Oct 2009: 1:13:45
5K - Nov 2009: 34:23
5K - Feb 2010: 32:28
Half Marathon - Apr 2010: 2:39:06
5K - May 2010: 29:49
10K - Jun 2010: 1:01:48
5K - Aug 2010: 27:57
Half Marathon - Oct 2010: 2:12:18
10K - Nov 2010: 52:44 (PR)
5K - Feb 2011: 23:45
Half Marathon - Apr 2011: 1:49:18
Marathon - May 2011: 3:56:05
Half Marathon - Oct 2011: 1:49:14 (PR)
5K - Nov 2011: 22:20 (PR)
Marathon - Dec 2011: 3:41:42 (PR)
No offense but is sounds like you eat to much and or have digestive problems. Try a natural laxitive like peach or prune juice or a cheap Over the counter laxative and see if that helps you to make more room in your digestive track for food!
For me I had digestive problems so I know a little about it but I am good now. If you eat like a big meal with chicken potatoes vegtables and desert it might take over a hour to digest. For me if i just eat like a sandwitch i can run in 10 minutes if i didnt eat anything before that. And if i eat a big dinner where im "stuffed it takes a little over a hour but i usually never stuff myself.
Try to increase your fiber and water. And if that don't work try a natural latative like fruit juice then a pill if that doesnt work!
It sounds like you have a slower digestive track. I have the same issue, and when I eat red meats and bread products it's terrible - I feel sluggish and bloated like I'm running with a brick in my gut. Also, when I eat breads or simple carbohydrates my blood sugar can drop as well and I get shaky. I am an early morning runner, and usually do not eat prior to running. If I run later in the day, I make sure I eat a very small meal that does not include any of those foods that bother me (breads, meat). I will occasionally have 1/2 a banana if I find I'm hungry but if I eat a whole one I have issues. Just adjust and find what works for you. I've found that the longer I run the more aware I am of my body and how what I put in it affects my ability to run.
Kristy in NC
3/12/11 - St. Patricks Day 5K - First 5K - 43 min
7/4/11 - Peachtree Road Race - 1hr 30 min
9/2/11 - BB&T Sunset 5K - 40:48
10/22/11 - Rocktoberfest 5K - 38:53
11/5/11 - CommYOUnity 5K - 37:22
11/24/11 - Butterball 5K - 37:03
3/25/12 - Charlotte Motor Speedway 5K - 34:21
To some extent it depends on when you run and how hard you are pushing yourself, as well as what you are eating. Some foods take longer to digest. If I were running first thing in the morning, I wouldn't eat much, if anything, because it takes a while for my body to wake up. Since I run later, I'm usually okay if I run 2 or 3 hours after breakfast or lunch, as long as I eat fairly lightly. If I eat a heavy meal, I'll wait longer.
Hi Paula,
Try adding small snacks as opposed to larger, planned meals during the week in training. It is okay to eat something every couple of hours to offset spikes in sugar and avoid over-consuption late in the day. (Think about getting the majority of your calories in before 4:00 PM). Blood glucose levels drop at 3:00 PM and 3:00 AM , so often times I do get up in the middle of the night and eat a bite (literally a few, small bites of something to offset the next morning and stablize my energy levels).
Specifically, I had this same difficulty initially on training/ race days and I now limit myself to 1/2 fruit, 1/2 granola bar and a small serving of pretzels and raisins about two to three hours prior to running.
Hope this helps and wishing you many happy miles!
ACTIVE is the leader in online event registrations from 5k running races and marathons to softball leagues and local events. ACTIVE also makes it easy to learn and prepare for all the things you love to do with expert resources, training plans and fitness calculators.


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Members of the Satmar Orthodox Jewish community grieve over the coffins at the funeral for two expectant parents who were killed in a car accident, Sunday, March 3, 2013, in the Brooklyn borough of New York. A driver struck the car the couple were riding in early Sunday morning, killing both parents while their baby, who was born prematurely, survived and is in critical condition. (AP Photo/John Minchillo)


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Law Firm Is 'First Mover' for New Chicago Office Tower
Chicago's River Point tower has found an anchor tenant, the latest sign that the handful of new office buildings now rising out of the ground nationwide are having some success luring tenants despite the sluggish pace of the office market's recovery.
The law firm of McDermott Will & Emery LLP announced today that it signed a letter of intent with developers Hines of Houston and Canada's Ivanhoe Cambridge to lease about 225,000 square feet for at least ten years. The 45-story tower broke ground earlier this week in Chicago's West Loop.
McDermott Will has been considering both existing and proposed buildings in anticipation of its lease for its current Chicago offices at 227 West Monroe St. expiring in 2017. Earlier this month the Journal reported that McDermott Will was considering relocating to the building, and earlier Thursday Crain's Chicago Business reported that the firm had signed a letter of intent, citing an unidentified source.
The firm is choosing to move to the tower in part because the space will be more efficient than that in older buildings, said Jeffrey E. Stone, co-chair of McDermott Will. Mr. Stone said the firm had a competitive advantage in negotiations as it was exploring options just as a rising number of developers are dusting off plans and looking for new tenants.
"There's clearly an advantage to being the first mover," said Mr. Stone, though he declined to be specific about the terms of the deal. The building's location and views it will afford from its location overlooking the Chicago River were also part of the attraction. "We think this is going to be a site that is really a focal point in the city's development in the years to come," he said.
The site of the planned curved tower, designed by the architecture firm of Pickard Chilton, is located at 444 West Lake St. The approximately 900,000-square-foot building is expected to be ready for initial occupancy in 2016.


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- Pro-ready shots!
- Currently Unavailable
Learn to shoot like a pro with Tom Marechek. From his days at Syracuse to career with the Philadelphia Wings of the NLL and now with the Baltimore Bayhawks, Tom Marecheck is one of the most prolific scorers in the game. He plays with quickness, strength and great stick skills. This DVD includes highlight footage, an in-depth interview with Tom and detailed instructions for a variety of shots including a set shot, an on the run shot, a behind the back shot, a between the legs shot and much, much more. 35 minutes.


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AUSTIN (December 2, 2012)--Republican Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst is ready to tap the state's Rainy Day Fund, a surprise move considering that most conservatives have fought to preserve it.
Gov. Rick Perry has made maintaining the fund's $8.2 billion a top priority, but Dewhurst thinks lawmakers should consider taking $1 billion to start a "water infrastructure development bank."
Tapping the fund to create a bank is in keeping with Republican policies.
Perry tapped the Rainy Day Fund to create his Texas Enterprise Fund in 2003 and his Emerging Technology Fund in 2005.
The bank could become a self-sustaining way to prevent water shortages.
A plan approved that the Texas Water Development Board approved last year said the state should eventually spend $53 billion over the next half-century on new reservoirs, dams, pipelines and wells.


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Version: 2.2 || Release Date: 2010-03-17 || License: Freeware
App Owner: pedrotaquelim
5 Opinions
I did iPalette, save for some aspects. I think the GUI is a little bit confusing. I end up accidentally deleting color sets sometimes. Also, I'm wishing I could have an infinite (or close to infinite) amount of colors in a set, instead of locked to only 4.
I'll definitely have an eye out for this app i the future.
by mfichtner, 9 years and 181 days ago (score: 2)
The tool's new URL: http://ipalette.info/
As of 2-7-07, the page was down, but you can get it on macupdate.com
by gopherchucks, 9 years and 328 days ago (score: 1)
Small, lightweight, very functional. I love this product when I'm developing color schemes for web-design.


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English language edition with River tiles
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Product Description
Note: While the future printings of Carcassonne will no longer contain the River expansion, these copies still do.
The southern French city of Carcassonne was founded on an important trade route between the Mediterranean and the Atlantic. Because of its strategic location, the city was often conquered and has known many rulers. As a result of this varied history, the city is famous for its unique mixture of Roman and Medieval fortifications.
The players develop the area around Carcassonne by placing land tiles. Each turn the area becomes larger as the players expand and add roads, fields, cities, and cloisters. The players may also deploy their followers as thieves, farmers, knights, and monks to control and score points for the roads, farms, cities, and cloisters. As the players have only a few followers, the wise player will plan his moves carefully and deploy followers when and where he can earn the most points.
If there is any game that will attract new players, Carcassonne is certainly it. Even if one ignores the multiple fascinating expansions, the basic game takes tile laying and makes it an art. Players feel as if they are actually building a large puzzle - with scattered cities and monasteries amongst a network of roads and fields. Placing "meeples," miniature people to claim these cities and farms, players must tactically attempt to control the biggest cities and longest roads. It plays well in multiplayer mode (up to five) but also makes a tremendous two-player game. It's simple, easy, and fun -- and most new players will ask to play it again immediately!
Product Awards
Best Strategy Game Nominee, 2001
Game of the Year, 2001
1st place, 2001
Product Information
Klaus-Jurgen Wrede
Rio Grande Games, Hans im Gluck
Doris Matthaus
Year: 2000
Players: 2 - 5
Time: 30 minutes
Ages: 8 and up
Est. time to learn: 5-10 minutes
Weight: 779 grams
All-Time Sales Rank: #1
Language Requirements: This is an international edition or domestic edition of an imported item. Game components are language-independent. Manufacturer's rules are printed in English.
- 72 land tiles
- 1 scoring track
- 40 followers in 5 colors
- 1 rule booklet
Z-Man (Restocking)
Z-Man Edition (Temporarily Out of Stock)
Z-Man Edition (Restocking)
Z-Man Edition (Restocking)
New Edition
2015 edition
English language edition of Carcassonne: Neues Land (Restocking)
Product Reviews
Average Rating: 4.4 in 163 reviews
I bought this game for my kids for Christmas last year (ages 11 and 13) and it soon became the family's favorite game. We play it all of the time. I actually bought the big box which contains 5 expansion sets. I was taking a chance by spending so much on a game I never hear of plus the expansion packs. What if we didn't like it? Well, not to worry, we loved it the first time we played. We have tried two expansions so far and they just make the game that much more fun. This game if full of strategy, yet is so easy to understand that it can also be played by a younger crowd. We have shared this game with everyone who will play and they become hooked too.
The best thing about this type of game is that it is different every time you play. You build the playing board as you go and no two games are the same.
We love this game and highly recommend it to anyone who likes to play games.
Carcassonne is easily the most popular game in my closet. Simple rules. An ever-changing game board, hence a game that is never played the same twice, and a strategy that is always evolving. I think the one thing that makes this game the most popular in my group of players is that anyone, I have yet to have one that I have introduced into this game not like it and want to play it again, can pick this up learn the strategy and game mechanics in the first go through, and easily desire to play again.
Very good game to relax after a long week and laugh with some friends.
Carcassonne is a tile-laying eurogame, which was designed by Klaus-Jurgen Wrede in 2001 and was awarded both the Spiel Des Jahres and the Deutscher SpielePreis that year. Carcassonne is often touted as one of the best "gateway" games (along with Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride) for introducing non-gamers to the hobby of strategy board games, and it's true that the game can definitely be used as a "gateway" game. However, this review is meant to explain how Carcassonne can be played as a deep and heavy game along the lines of Tigris & Euphrates and Caylus. If played under the following conditions, Carcassonne can become a highly strategic and extremely replayable game with no more luck than a game of Tigris.
First things first, what do you get in the box? For a retail price of $24.95, you get the following components: 72 land tiles, 40 wooden followers (a.k.a. "meeples"), 1 scoring track, and 1 instruction booklet. The components are not spectacular, but they get the job done very well and don't leave anything to be desired. Although the scoring track is not necessarily the best way to keep score because it can get bumped during play and is not as reliable as paper and pencil. I'm going to reference two expansions for Carcassonne below, so I will mention their price and components here as well. First, Carcassonne: Inns & Cathedrals (a.k.a. I&C) retails for $14.95. I&C comes with 18 land tiles, 6 scoring tiles, 8 gray followers, and 6 large followers (a.k.a. "gianteeples"). The new land tiles match the originals nicely, the scoring tiles and gray followers are essentially useless, but the gianteeples are crucial to the game as discussed below. Second, Carcassonne: Traders & Builders (a.k.a. T&B) retails for $14.95 as well. T&B comes with 24 land tiles, 20 trade goods, 6 builders, 6 pigs, 1 cloth bag. All of these components are up to par with the original and are necessary additions to the game. Both of these expansions are a bit pricey, but can be found at discount online retailers. Both are integral to fully enjoying the game as I think it should be played.
How do you basically play this game? Carcassonne is a tile-laying eurogame, meaning that on each turn your basic action is to draw a random tile from the pool and add it to the board, which starts off with only one tile, but will be composed of 114 tiles by the end of the game. When adding your tile to the board you will have many choices as to where you want to place the tile and how you want to rotate it, but there are some restrictions. In puzzle-like fashion, you have to make sure that like sides match like sides. There are three land features to consider when matching up the sides of the tiles, which are farms, cities, and roads. This is an extremely intuitive system that must people can pick up and understand very quickly because it just feels natural to make sure that the green farms, brown cities, and white roads match up consistently across tiles. After adding your one tile to the board, you can either end your turn right there, or you have the option of placing one of your "meeples" on that tile. If you place a "meeple" on that tile then you have to decide where on the tile he will go. You can turn your "meeple" into farmers on the farms, knights on the cities, thieves on the roads, or monks on the cloisters. Cloisters are the fourth possibility for scoring points in addition to the first three, but are not a feature to consider in making tiles match because they don't touch the edge of a tile. Play will continue in clockwise order with everyone placing a one tile on their turn and having the option of placing one "meeple" on that tile, until all 114 tiles have been placed, at which point the game ends and final scores are tallied.
How do you score and win this game? You can score points throughout the game as features are completed and you can score additional points at the end of the game for uncompleted features as well as farms. First, roads are the simplest because they give you 1 point per tile and are completed when they have two end points. Roads also give you 1 point per tile at the end of the game even if they are not completed. Second, cities give you 2 points per tile and are completed when they are completely enclosed. However, cities only give you 1 point per tile at the end of the game if they are not completed. Third, cloisters give you 9 points and are completed when they are entirely surrounded by other tiles on all sides (including diagonally). Cloisters give you 1 point per adjacent tile (including diagonally) plus 1 point for the cloister itself at the end of the game if they are not completed. Finally, farms are the most complicated, but also often the most important scoring feature. Farms give you 4 points per completed city that they touch at the end of the game, but do not give you any points during the game. There is also an alternate farm scoring rule that has been designed since Carcassonne was originally released, which involves giving 3 points per completed city, but I will not get into that here because I don't think it's as good as the original rules personally.
What does I&C add that's so important? First, the 18 new land tiles add more possibilities, options, and variety to the base game with new configurations of farms, cities, and roads on them. In addition, these new land tiles add two new features, which are the inns for roads and the cathedrals for cities. Inns make roads worth double, and cathedrals make cities worth three points per tile. However, roads with inns and cities with cathedrals are worth zero at the end of the game if they are not completed. So there is some additional reward but obviously some risk as well. Knowing whether to place the tile with the inn or cathedral on one of your own scoring features to increase your score or whether it's late enough in the game to place the inn or cathedral on an opponent's scoring feature to make it worth nothing in the end is obviously very important, and takes practice to fully appreciate and understand. Second, the large followers (a.k.a. "gianteeples") are crucial for making the game more strategic. They function like normal meeples except that they count as two meeples for purposes of controlling a scoring feature. While the rules do not permit you to place a meeple on a city, road, or farm that is already claimed, the rules do allow you to place a meeple on a separate city, road, or farm and later join that feature to another feature for purposes of sharing one larger feature. However, if you manage to either join up two meeples then you will take all of the points because you have more meeples on the scoring feature than anyone else. The "gianteeple" is extremely important because it allows you to join up a single nearby city, road, or farm to take control of a valuable scoring feature from your opponent.
What does T&B add that's so important? First, the 24 new land tiles add even more variety to the base game with even more configurations of farms, cities, and roads on them. Second, the builders are as crucial as the gianteeples for making the game more strategic. The builders are units that you can add to an existing city or road that you are working on, which allow you to immediately take a bonus turn on any future turn that you add to that city or road. These bonus turns really add up, and make clever placement and use of your builder crucial for success in this game. Finally, the trade goods are an important addition to the game because they give you an incentive to complete an opponent's city sometimes. There are three trade goods (i.e., wine, grain, and cloth), which appear on various city tiles. When you complete a city with tiles that show these goods then you get a marker representing the goods on the tiles. However, you don't need to actually control and score the city, you just have to lay the last tile that completes the city. At the end of the game, the person with the most markers in each type of trade good receives 10 points. These 30 points awarded at the end of the game can often be decisive, and so you need to constantly monitor the tally of trade goods that you and your opponent have throughout the game.
Finally, these are my tips for making this game as strategic and deep as possible:
1) Three's a Crowd
Always play with just two players. The game claims to work with anywhere from two to six players (when you add in the I&C expansion), but the game really shines with just two players. With more players there is too much going on between each of your turns, and your level of control diminishes greatly. With only two players, the game becomes zero-sum so that hurting your opponent is just as good as helping yourself, whereas with more players it's not worthwhile to hurt an opponent's position because this will simply result in the third player gaining an advantage. The luck of the tile draw is reduced significantly if you can use tiles that don't help you to simply block and opponent, but doing so is not as good a play when you have multiple opponents. Moreover, with only 2 players you will be able to place 57 tiles during the game, whereas with 3 players you will only be able to place 38 tiles per game. This increased number of tiles placed per game is significant not only because it increases the importance of managing your supply of meeples so that you never have too few in your supply but you never have too few on the board, but also because it reduces the luck of the tile draw by increasing the number of tiles drawn. I'm not statistics expert, but I'm pretty sure that the larger the sample size, the more likely that your distribution is not skewed, so in a two-player game you are less likely to draw all of one type of tile for example.
2) Vanilla is just too Plain
Always play with both the I&C and T&B expansions. Not only are the additional 42 tiles crucial for adding variety to the tile mix, but also the two new unites (i.e., gianteeples and builders) add a significant layer of strategy to the game. Using your gianteeple and builder effectively is crucial to success. First, the gianteeple is critical because it facilitates stealing cities, roads, and farms from your opponent, so the game becomes much more about clever placement to take over an opponent's scoring feature or to block an opponent from stealing your valuable scoring features. Moreover, if you can lock-up your opponent's gianteeple early in the game in a position that is unlikely to allow your opponent to reclaim the gianteeple then you will often win, so it is very important to prevent your gianteeple from getting trapped on the board. Second, the builder is also critical because maximizing your number of bonus turns is extremely important to winning. It's pretty clear that someone who takes twice as many turns as their opponent will almost always win, so if you are constantly adding to the scoring feature with your builder then you will do very well, and if you can trap your opponent's builder on the board where he cannot add to the builder's scoring feature then you will also do very well. Deciding whether to place your builder on a road or a city is very important, and deciding whether to complete the feature with your builder on it to reclaim the unit and replace it elsewhere is also a very interesting decision.
3) There's no such thing as too Aggressive
The most important thing for making Carcassonne as deep and highly strategic game is to play as aggressively as possible. This means that you need to realize that stealing an opponent's city, road, or farm is often much better than simply starting your own. This means that you need to always be conscious of how your opponent may try to steal your own cities, roads, and farms, and you need to try to build these scoring features so as to minimize his opportunities for sneaking onto your features. You should constantly be thinking about how to get meeples into your opponent's cities, roads, and farms, especially once the cities are a couple tiles big, the roads are a few tiles long, and the farms are worth more than 12 or so points. In addition, if you draw a tile that isn't much use to you because you can't add it to anything you're working on and you're not in a position to start something new, then you should absolutely find the best place to play it to block your opponent. You should even think about block your opponent even if the tile could be used to help yourself because in a two-player game hurting your opponent is often as good or better than helping yourself. This means that you should minimize the number of tiles that would work for your opponent in a specific situation. If he needs one tile to complete a city then trying to place tiles adjacent to the space where he needs to place that final city tile. You should dictate whether the edges of that final city tile must have roads or farms on them so as to minimize his chances of completing the city. This is even more important if the city has either his gianteeple or builder in it. If you simply work on your own scoring features, ignoring what your opponent is doing, not only will the game not be very interesting or interactive, but you will lose consistently.
Enjoy Carcassonne!
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Germany's Game of the Year is an addictive adventure in which players lay colorful tiles depicting fragments of roads, cities, cloisters, and farms. Turns consist of picking a facedown tile, adding it to the expanding countryside, and optionally placing one of your pawns on the tile. You score immediately upon completing roads, cities, and cloisters where you have placed a pawn. The pawn then returns to your stock for redeployment. Pawns placed on farmland never return to your stock, but can yield lucrative scores at the end of the game--the larger the connected farmland, the greater the score. If you don't claim victory by having the most points when the last tile is laid, never mind; few other games let you enjoy such a gorgeous final canvas.
Carcassonne is a free-form tile laying game, in the course of which the players create a landscape made of walled cities, monasteries, roads and fields. Each component of the landscape will belong to one of the players, who will score points for it. A scoring component will normally be spread across more than one tile and this will sometimes create tussles for possession. The player with the most points once all the tiles have been laid is the winner.
The tiles are square and each one shows between one and three features. Some typical ones are a monastery surrounded by a field, a section of walled city with a road leading to it and three road segments meeting at a junction, with the rest of the tile being field. On your turn you draw a tile and place it next to one of the tiles already on the table. It is your choice which, but you must place the tile so that like features match up. So, if you place a tile with a section of road/city/field next to another tile, then the feature must be matched on the tile it abuts--road segment joining up to road segment, city area to city area, and so on. Having placed the tile, you then have the option of placing one of your men on one of the features of the tile you have just laid. Put him in a city and he becomes a knight; in a monastery and he becomes a monk; on a road a thief; and in a field a farmer. Cities, roads and fields will, in the normal way of things, spread across more than one tile and there is a restriction on placement which says that you may not place a man on a feature that already contains another man. For example, were you to place a tile which extended a road and were there already a thief on another part of it, then you could not place your own man on the road and would either have to pass up the placement option or place him on one of the other features. You only have a limited number of men and so passing up a placement option isn't necessarily a disadvantage.
This restriction on placements means that there is not a lot of conflict for possession, but it can occur when parts of roads, cities or farms that began as disjoint fragments join up as the result of the placement of later tiles. When this happens, possession goes to the player with most men on the road--ties being resolved on an amicable, both/all players score the points basis.
Most city segments will show a piece of wall with an area of city on one side of it. Place a certain number of these together and you will create a complete walled city, at which point the owner of the city scores the points for it and all the knights in the city are returned to their owners ready to be re-used. Similarly with roads: the end of a road can be either a city, a monastery or a crossroads and as soon as a road has two legitimate ends to it, it is scored and the men on it reclaimed. With both roads and cities, the bigger/longer they are, the more they are worth. Monasteries are also scored during the game, though here the basis for "completion" is a bit different. Farms (collections of fields bounded by roads and city walls) don't score until the end. Uncompleted features also score points at the end, but not as well as they would have done had they been completed.
This is a simple and elegant set of rules which makes your general strategy clear, while still giving you plenty of tactical choices to make on where you place your tiles and where you put your men. Your aim is to build valuable cities, create long roads and 'complete' monasteries while not running out of the men that you need to take advantage of the placement options that the tiles you are laying are creating. As I said earlier, your stock of men is limited and you will need to keep up a steady "complete a feature, score and reclaim" production line if you are not to run out mid-game and see your score suffer as a consequence.
The simple "draw a tile and place it" mechanism means that the game has a luck element to it, in that there will be times when you may or may not succeed in drawing the tile that fits nicely with your plans. This would be reduced were you to allow each player to have a holding of 2 or 3 tiles and to operate on a "play and then draw so as to replenish your holding" basis, but doing this would inevitably lengthen the playing time and I don't think that the change is actually necessary. Much better to accept the game for what it is, an unpretentious and interesting, middleweight game that lasts exactly the right length of time for the amount of entertainment that it provides.


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As promised, the season finale of "Scandal" on Thursday was one big can of crazy -- an episode packed with so many wild, whiplash-inducing moments that chiropractors all across America will undoubtedly benefit today.
Let's quickly recap:
-- Rowan survived the Maya stabbing attack. Doctors say the blade came THIS close to his heart.
-- Maya's bomb, indeed, did go off at Hightower's funeral. But Sally got out of the church alive and used it to her political benefit. (A ripped dress and some well-applied makeup helping the cause). Dejected, Olivia and Cyrus tell Fitz that he is sure to lose the presidency.
-- Huck and Quinn have sex. In the office. Yuck. (He later dumps her when she reveals to him his long-estranged family).
-- Olivia, for some reason, chooses the final depressing, dismal hours at the White House, to drop another kind of bomb. She tells Fitz the Big Jerry secret -- how his father raped Mellie years ago. All that talk of starting a family and making jam in Vermont is put on hold as Fitz rushes to Mellie's side.
-- With his family there for support, Fitz is ready to make one last big presidential speech, but -- WAIT -- his 15-year-old son, Little Jerry, begins to cough up blood. He hits the stage floor and dies from bacterial meningitis! Oh, Little Jerry, we hardly knew ye.
Olivia's first thought? Fitz is now going to win the election. She hates herself for it. "How did we get like this?" she asks Cyrus. "When did we stop being people?"
-- No surprise here: It was Maya who had the boy killed. Fitz wants her dead and Papa Pope is happy to oblige.
-- A SWAT team swoops in and captures Maya on the street, coming out of a bank. The apprehension seems way too easy. The president is informed that Maya has been disposed of.
-- In the midst of it all, Olivia drops another bomb. She's going to quit the fixer business. She's leaving on a jet plane and doesn't know when she'll be back again. "It's me. I'm the scandal," she tells Jake. "And the best way to handle a scandal is to shut it down."
Jake responds by asking Olivia to take him with her. Sure. Why not? Nothing really has to make sense on this show.
-- As Olivia and Jake take to the air, we learn what REALLY went down and why Rowan wanted his daughter "shielded" from it all. It was Papa Pope, of course, who orchestrated the boy's murder -- with the help of Secret Service guy Tom. It was all part of his brazen scheme to be reinstated as the big boss of B613.
But why kill the poor kid who never had much screen time to begin with? "He took my child. I took his," he disgustingly explains.
Harrison managed to figure it all out and he may have paid for it with his life, although we don't actually see him being killed. Meanwhile, Maya, was most certainly not killed. She's been put back into her cage like the rat she is.
Contact Chuck Barney at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.ChuckBarney, or Twitter.com/chuckbarney


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Please excuse the novel here... I tend to try to explain myself so clearly that I go overboard, so sorry about that. Also, sorry if this is in the wrong category; I wasn't sure where to put it.
I grew up in a pentecostal Christian household, Assemblies of God to be exact (extremely evangelical believe-every-word-in-the-Bible-exactly group, for those who aren't familiar with it). I remember being told things specifically like "You don't have a conscience; that's the Holy Spirit telling you you're sinning." I remember thinking, "Yeah, because I'm incapable of figuring out when I'm doing something wrong on my own... Riiight."
I knew what hell and demons and Satan were even in early elementary school. I have vague memories of speaking with my school guidance counselor about a ("real," as in not from a movie or a show but documentary style) exorcism I had witnessed. I remember being told horror stories from a youth leader about her experience with demons, which included physical assault on her. I still fear the idea of hell and I've always had a very strong fear of demons (which hasn't gone away).
Anyway, during my journey away from religion entirely I began to be confused by my own thoughts. When I no longer really believed that a God existed and I wondered, "What if I'm wrong? What if I go to hell because of this?" I've had a lot of fear even about just coming to terms with even using the word "agnostic" to describe myself.
Something similar is when I think of things like the fact that I'm going to make sure I have a wedding ceremony with absolutely no mention of God or religion of any sort, something in my head sort of mocks me by saying, "You're just trying to be difficult and defiant." I know that's not true; why would I risk eternity in hell if I really thought it existed? I don't know what that voice is though, or where it's coming from.
Those thoughts aren't always in the front of my mind by they are, and I just keep wondering if they're "God is trying to tell me I'm wrong" or if it's a totally normal human response because leaving a religion can be a scary experience on its own and my brain just needs to relearn things.
I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem, but in a way I'm hoping so because maybe someone could help me understand my "own" thoughts/why I'm having them. Is it normal? I don't really even know if this will make sense to anyone else.
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No problem, hon!
I wish both you and your fiance the best. :)
Aw, thank you! <3 :D
Hi dizzyduckie, I didn't see this post until now but wanted to share for support with what you're going through. We have had similar upbringings and experiences it sounds like. What you're saying makes *complete* sense. Saying this after writing out my post, sorry in advance for the length.
When I was young, I remember internally questioning a lot of the things I heard from my parents and their religious social circle. I remember distinctly having doubting thoughts as early as 6. Even though I was in highly religious circles until my mid twenties, I never regarded myself as highly religious. I feel that with the thoughts I had even as a child, I probably just wasn't wired to swallow religious ideas at face value 100%. However I did my best to try. It does have a serious effect on you, even if there is an internal struggle the entire time.
As for social aspects, my parents and my entire extended family are extremely religious (with the exception of some of my relatives that live in New York). And of course I grew up in a highly religious social environment. With meetings, services, picnics etc.
And so I feel for you feeling isolated. Don't let it get to you. And I say that knowing quite what you mean and feel. I've dealt with the same problems. Socially and internally. It's something I have dealt with for years in varying degrees.
To explain further, in my mid-twenties I permanently abandoned religion socially. I stopped going to church, and began a period of time, which I'm still not entirely over at 32 years old, of feeling somewhat isolated. Honestly I didn't take the time to sort everything out internally until a few years ago. I was certainly agnostic, but mainly in an apathetic way. So I was like a fish out of water until then, of sorts.
This all changed when I went on vacation with my then girlfriend and stayed for a few weeks at her mom's beach house. I had a lot of time to just relax and started poking around her library of books she let me look through. I began reading quite a few books while I was there and it became a critical point of my life, like my own personal Galapagos Island experience. I read many books from Dawkins, Shermer, and Hitchens.
Suddenly so many lights turned on my head. Not that they were off to begin with, but just not all the way on. However it was in many a ways a shock to my system. So many thought patterns that had been on autopilot in my mind suddenly made no sense. It was a rush, almost in a scary way, of different ways of looking at literally everything.
I distinctly remember for example looking at people around me and realizing, after conscientiously accepting evolution after intense honest study of it, that we weren't special progeny of some divine being and rather evolved primates. I swear to you that for a brief time (about a day or two) that people looked bizarrely different to me, like I was in the movie Planet of the Apes. I can't explain this exactly.
But the point is that the difference between the though patterns of someone religious, say a Christian, and someone who is not, viz. an Atheist, are so fundamentally and radically different, and they run so deeply, that it's no surprise you're feeling the way you do. And after going through this, I can tell you it just takes time. For a good while, I would encounter a situation that would trigger a thought process in the way I used to believe, and suddenly think, "Wow, that is completely invalid." They can pop up regularly over time, but slowly your mind changes. This sort of thing doesn't really happen to me anymore, but it's taken a few years of just time and experience.
I can relate to your fear of demons as well. When I used to believe they were real, I would have night terrors on a regular basis. I would lie awake in my bedroom and be expecting that any second one would physically appear, or I would just lay there in sheer terror. Not thinking of them even, but really feeling complete irrational fear, like a presence of fear in my room. All due to religion. Since I have consciously rejected the belief of these, I have not once since experienced this at all, even as an afterthought. Christians may say, "Well Satan has you now, he has no need to scare you." Don't let these self looping mental prisons distract you.
And on that note, getting back to the social realm, it also has a huge impact. Especially when leaving a religion, but not quite refortifying your mind with a solid foundation of reality. I was there, and it was a tough time period to be in. All I can say is it's good these thoughts are dropping off. And over time, as you educate yourself concerning, for example, discussions with other people about religion, you'll be more confident addressing it. After my epiphany I avoided talking to my mother for some time, and it hurt, because I adore my mother and we have always been close. Once I felt comfortable enough to just explain to her how I felt and my thoughts, I did so and it was freeing because I felt reconnected to her and she was obviously upset but accepting as well.
By the way, don't feel discouraged if you don't feel equipped enough to address your conclusions with people around you. I don't know if you do, but just remember that just because you don't know something concretely or understand it confidently doesn't automatically mean the religious person is right. It's a common tactic with religious to exploit an argument by inferring they are right because they can make de-facto statements without thinking. You don't have to know thoroughly why you are correct to know they are clearly wrong.
Anyway, sorry for the ridiculously long post, I just sincerely hope that my sharing is an encouragement to you. Feel free to message me or discuss more in your post. It's refreshing for me to see when anyone can relate to what I have been through as well.
Wow, Cliff Notes please. LOL I'm kidding of course, most of your posts I've seen I relate to on a lot of levels.
I've thought about coming out to my family in a "testimony" style. Something like when I was 4 and being baptized I had no idea what was going on. I remember thinking, why do I have to do this, is there something in the water? When I was 8 I remember wondering how the hell dinosaurs could have been alive with mankind. Noahs ark had every animal? How did he feed them? There's always apologist propaganda like that footprint in the dinosaur footprint thing. How could stars come into play with them being billions of years old how come they weren't considered "the light" spoken about in the bible. On and on all the clues along the way I noticed and then folded them up neatly and put them in the back of the mind closet.
If I had just taken an extra step and started reading about the time that bible was written I probably would have realized so much sooner. Instead my dumbass went on 35 years, probably closer to 25 but it took a LONG time for me to address god on a logical level and mostly just regurgitated misquoted scripture and stuff I learned growing up rather than investigate whether or not it was real. All better now though. Thanks for sharing Dennis that was some good reading for me.
Haha yeah I didn't want to unleash a Reply of Doom here. I really try to keep them to a minimum.
And I know what you mean. I feel like I wasted so many years, and with poor decisions along the way. I don't regret it, but it would have been nice to have the opportunity to have material out there today to learn from and, like you, wish I had sort things out much earlier in my life.
@ dizzyduckie: You're fortunate to be where you are, at your point in life. This may be some encouragement to you as well.
Hey, I appreciate the "Reply of Doom," haha! I could definitely use it.
To the few people I've expressed my beliefs to I've said that I feel proud of the point of clarity I've reached in my life and that I've never been so excited to learn about the universe around me. I don't have to stop at the answer "Because God did it," I can actually learn how things work and it feels awesome! The truth really does "set you free."
Sounds like you think about this pretty similarly to me! I remember having tons of questions that were generally waved off or answered with the "I don't know" of Christianity: "Because God made/wanted it that way." :/ They were all relatively small questions but all put together it just made my entire religious upbringing look like a worn-out, ratty blanket with tons of holes ripped in it that no one had bothered to sew up.
I do appreciate that I reached this point early(ish) though... I would hate to have gone my entire life believing a lie instead of questioning it.
Thanks for your reply!
Wow! Thank you so much for your long reply; it definitely makes me feel a lot less alone and like I'm starting to find the support group I've so desperately been needing!
I'm pretty tired at the moment so I can't quite formulate the thoughts to reply to everything, but you added me so I'm sure we'll have the time to talk at some point! Did you come from a Pentecostal background as well or was it just overall similar?
Again, thank you so much for your reply! :D This advice will definitely come in handy and I'm sure I'll keep coming back to it for reminders and encouragement. And I've got a whole slew of books in my Amazon wishlist right now (lots of Dawkins, hehe) that I can't wait to get a start on!
Well, when I was a kid, my parents went to a Presbyterian church. It was so dry and boring. And my extended family are hardcore fundamentalist Calvinists and I went to their cult church as well. Watching paint dry was sheer excitement compared. So in one sense, that is quite different than an experience in a Pentecostal environment. In another, it's all insanity. :-P Anyway, when I was older, I went to a Charismatic Episcopal church. It was much more like a Pentecostal church, with speaking in tongues and faith healings etc. No snake handling or quite to that level.
About your wishlist: GO FOR IT. I can't tell you how much it helps with the thoughts etc. to replenish your mind with solidifying truths. To share just a few of the things I read or watched: Dawkins (The Greatest Show on Earth, The God Delusion), Hitchens (God is Not Great, The Portable Atheist which was compiled by him), Sam Harris (mostly watched lectures and debates), Bart Ehrman (all of his books on textual criticism are great), and then any debates and lectures you can find on youtube. Youtube has a lot of stupid junk, but if you follow some of the well known authors and debaters, it's good for reinforcing your thought processes.You may even find you disagree with some things or points with all of this material. I certainly do. But that is for you to discern for yourself and yourself alone. And THAT is the key. But don't ever stop re-questioning.
Jerry Coyne's book "Why Evolution Is True" is a great book about evolution as well. He also has a site by the same name. Awesome site. onegoodmove.org is another site, but I'm not sure if the author blogs as much anymore.
All of this is really the tip of the iceberg of things I think you might enjoy, from my little experience. Even all this is just for starters, and I can easily produce tons of other things you may find informative, as many others can on this site also.
The main point is that the more you piece everything together, the more the thoughts you struggle with will turn more and more into the ridiculous. Everything I have searched out... well, as you do too, you'll begin to see how ridonculous those programmed hesitations are for yourself on your own terms. I can't stress how much clarity, as much as you may feel now, you will have gaining a comprehensive understanding of your conclusions. It turns into a mountain and it makes the alternative seem all the much more petty and insane.
Don't forget, the bible *just by itself* is plenty.
Sorry again for the length. Just want to help as much as I can.
I appreciate the length of your posts! I love that someone's taking so much time to help me in my journey because I sure felt like I needed some guidance, lol.
I put all of those on my wishlist and I do spend a lot of time searching out different articles/videos/what have you. I really can't wait to get to reading though! Dawkins is what I'm most excited about although I'm not sure why.
"Never stop questioning" is something I chose to live by the instant I decided to fully question my faith, and I won't! Falling into that kind of trap again is something I just can't let happen.
I always feel so strange not having a long comment in reply... I hope it doesn't make you think I'm not listening and I don't appreciate your help, because I genuinely do! :)
There's a lot of people in your position, more than I've even met on 4 forums, 8 podcasts, 200 twitter friends and growing. Your brain is just trying to rebuild the foundation of your mind that was shoved out when you realized there was no god. Reading books has helped me to rebuild that, reading the forums is probably the single most therapeutic thing you can do - matter of fact I bet after reading the responses above mine you are already starting to feel better about it.
I'm going through some of the same feelings and as you read through the new member section you'll get a kick out of seeing that you are completely normal. I'm just glad that you get to think rationally now, sans the creepy dogma stuff you're going to be fine and those thoughts will start to fade or you'll be in a better place to handle them after time. Welcome aboard!
That's pretty much what I thought... It's like I have to rebuild myself. At least I have to do it while I'm still young and probably able to at least mostly "bounce back."
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing but I'm glad to know I'm not alone! I'll definitely have to go through the new members forum. Thank you! <3


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- Aug 18:
- Reports that Jahi McMath is coming home are false
- Jun 18:
- Jahi McMath being kept at New Jersey hospital
- Jun 12:
- Jahi McMath getting diploma for eighth grade, family says
- Mar 13:
- Jahi McMath: Family calls state report 'B.S.'; new medical record details emerge
- Feb 20:
- Jahi McMath: Complete text of letter from brain-dead girl's mother
- Feb 19:
- Jahi McMath 'much better,' her mother says
- Feb 1:
- Jahi McMath: Is it safe to have tonsil surgery at Children's Hospital Oakland?
- Jan 27:
- Jahi McMath video claims to show her feet and toes move
- Jan 25:
- Jahi McMath: five similar brain death legal cases
- Jahi McMath: Could her case change how California determines death?
- Jan 9:
- Jahi McMath: Medical experts say organ failure inevitable
- Jan 8:
- Jahi McMath: Girl given breathing, feeding tubes, attorney says
- Jan 7:
- Jahi McMath: Streetfighting lawyer takes heat, death threats for brain-dead Oakland girl's family
- Jan 6:
- Jahi McMath: Family says brain-dead teen's body may be too deteriorated to save
- Document: Medical analysis of Jahi McMath's deteriorating condition
- Jahi McMath: Brain-dead girl moved to undisclosed care facility
- Jan 5:
- Jahi McMath: Brain-dead teen's family moves her from Children's Hospital Oakland
- Jahi McMath: Timeline of events in case of brain-dead Oakland teen
- Jan 3:
- Jahi McMath: Mom can remove brain-dead daughter from hospital, judge rules
- Dec 31:
- Jahi McMath: Terri Schiavo group secretly leading transfer efforts
- Jahi McMath: Hospital fights in court to remove brain-dead girl from ventilator
- Dec 29:
- Jahi McMath: Statement of Children's Hospital Oakland
- Jahi McMath: Mom and lawyer say only remaining option for brain-dead girl is a New York care facility
- Dec 28:
- Jahi McMath: Family, attorney release letter addressing critics
- Jahi McMath: Family trying to raise money to get 13-year-old airlifted out of state
- Dec 27:
- Jahi McMath: Children's Hospital Oakland agrees to release brain-dead girl to long-term care
- Dec 26:
- Jahi McMath: 2 years ago, a girl wound up severely brain damaged following similar surgery
- Herhold: At bottom, the Jahi McMath story is a tale of a mother's guilt
- Dec 24:
- Jahi McMath: A mother's undeniable love is lost in divisive battle
- Jahi McMath: Judge denies petition to keep girl on ventilator past Dec. 30
- Dec 21:
- Jahi, her mom and 13 days at Children's Hospital Oakland
- Jahi McMath: Medicine's ability to keep a heart beating complicates how death is perceived
- Oakland: Emotional letter from Jahi McMath's mom to keep daughter 'warm'
- Judge grants restraining order keeping brain dead Oakland girl on ventilator through Monday
- Dec 20:
- Family of Oakland girl on ventilator furious after meeting with hospital officials
- Dec 18:
- Jahi McMath prayer vigil: 'God knows we want a miracle'
- Dec 16:
- Oakland: Girl declared brain dead after tonsil surgery may be taken off life support Tuesday
- Oakland girl, 13, declared brain-dead after tonsil surgery
State health investigators probing Children's Hospital Oakland over its handling of Jahi McMath concluded that the hospital complied with medical regulatory standards in her case, according to the long-awaited report obtained Wednesday through a public records request.
The report answers some questions but leaves many more unanswered about what happened to the 13-year-old Oakland girl -- who came to Children's Hospital Oakland on Dec. 9 for tonsil surgery and two other procedures to treat her sleep apnea and left brain-dead.
Investigators reviewed Jahi's patient file and 28 others chosen at random from the same time period. Their report includes no specifics from her case and does not identify any patients by name.
The state's survey found one area of "deficiency" in how the hospital handled the patients' medical records, which were not always entered into an electronic medical database before surgery. Due to medical confidentiality laws, it is unclear if Jahi's case was one of those mishandled cases.
"We are very pleased with the results of the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services validation survey," said Dr. David Durand, Children's Hospital Oakland's chief medical officer. "We were found to be in compliance with CMS standards in every area. No deficiencies of quality of care were identified in the survey."
The report angered Christopher Dolan, Jahi's family attorney, who said the results illustrate why medical negligence lawsuits are necessary.
"The report is evidence of what the family has faced from day one, doctors covering for other doctors," Dolan said. "The family was not even interviewed, to my knowledge. How can a 13-year-old girl bleed to death in an ICU, and there is no evaluation or finding explaining that?"
A call to Jahi's family was not immediately returned.
State officials confirmed that the investigation was initiated after a complaint was lodged about how the East Bay facility cared for Jahi after she was admitted Dec. 9. Hours after surgery, while in the pediatric intensive care unit, Jahi began bleeding profusely before suffering a heart attack. Doctors soon declared her brain-dead.
Jahi's mother, Nailah Winkfield, criticized the reaction of nurses who told her the bleeding was "routine," according to court documents and a letter she released to media and an interview. She said the nurses left it to her and her mother to stem the flow of blood from Jahi's mouth and nose.
State investigators conducted the probe over Jan. 7-10, focusing on the hospital's governing body, patient rights, nursing services, surgical services and anesthesia services. They interviewed doctors, nurses and managers and reviewed records.
"CDPH determined that Children's Hospital and Research Center-Oakland was in compliance with the Medicare Conditions of Participation," state enforcement manager Rufus Arther wrote the hospital Feb. 18. General acute care hospitals must follow certain federal standards to receive Medicare and Medicaid funding.
The state found one area of deficiency under the hospital's "operating room policies." In eight of 29 patients reviewed, the state found the preoperative checklist was not completed; on some occasions not all the boxes on intake forms were checked off, and on others, the patients' histories and physicals were not included in an electronic medical file before surgery.
In one instance, detailed in the report, a 5-year-old boy admitted for eye surgery had no physical or history scanned into his electronic medical file. The assistant director of perioperative services told state investigators, "if there is no history and physical in the record there should be a 'Hard Stop' and the patient would not go into the operating room until it was completed and on the record." The child still had surgery.
Children's Hospital voluntarily reported a plan of correction for the deficiency on March 5.
The hospital acknowledged "inconsistencies" on checklists completed before surgery, and pointed to two issues: lack of education of staff and the November 2013 implementation of a new electronic medical record system, which required hospital employees to update medical records in a computer rather than paper documents. The hospital in its written response said all the proper documentation was there, just not all in electronic form.
Children's Hospital identified nine corrective measures taken since the survey results, including increased education on the electronic system and audits on the program.
The hospital has not commented on Jahi's care at the Oakland facility, citing patient confidentiality laws, only saying in court documents that she underwent a "complicated" series of procedures.
According to California surgery statistics, Children's Hospital Oakland had bleed rates following tonsil surgeries below the state average among more than 400 other hospitals.
The state statistics found one death following tonsil surgery at Children's Hospital Oakland, but bleeding is not the only possible complication. On Sept. 6, 2011, Rebecca Jimenez, of Rodeo, went to the facility for an outpatient tonsillectomy to treat her sleep apnea and suffered severe brain damage after brain swelling after surgery. The family of the 8-year-old sued and won a large settlement.
Children's Hospital Oakland has not received any penalties or citations related to tonsillectomies from the state in the past, according to the Department of Public Health.
As far as overall hospital care, according to state public health numbers, since 2004, Children's Hospital Oakland has received 44 complaints, 41 self-reported incidents, four state enforcement actions and 35 survey deficiencies. By comparison, Lucile Packard Children's Hospital in Palo Alto has received 43 complaints, 53 self-reported incidents, 10 state enforcement actions and 102 survey deficiencies during the same time period.
A claim is an alleged violation of federal or state law and reported by someone outside the hospital; a self-reported incident is reported by the hospital; a state-enforcement action is a penalty or citation issued; and a survey deficiency documents an action or nonaction that violates state or federal statutes.
Contact Matthias Gafni at 925-952-5026. Follow him at Twitter.com/mgafni.
hospital investigations
Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services develops Conditions of Participation (CoPs) and Conditions for Coverage (CfCs) that health care organizations must meet in order to begin and continue participating in the Medicare and Medicaid programs. These health and safety standards are the foundation for improving quality and protecting the health and safety of beneficiaries.
During a hospital survey, these are the possible findings:
Source: California Department of Public Health