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Temps, Charts & More
By Rebecca Teti
Wednesdays: Natural Family Planning
(Join each day's Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)
This weekly thread is a place where you can share your struggles, triumphs, links, resources, concerns, and questions about all things related to Natural Family Planning.
Please join the conversation!
This is totally not applicable to today's topic... but I just want to air some anonymous concerns with other mothers. I have two kids- 2 and 5 months. I recently became a stay-at-home mom. I used to be the go-getter type (moved across the country by myself, used to do lots of fun sporting type events independently, had loads of hobbies and friends) but now I feel that I lost all of that. I don't know how to verbalize my concerns very well. I just feel like I am flailing. I miss my old activities but hate inconveniencing my husband to watch our kids. I know that sounds ridiculous. He says the 5-month-old cries the whole time I am gone and he freaks out if the 5-month-old spits up (which he does A LOT). I only get a break from my 5-month-old when I go to adoration weekly. My 2-year-old is very loveable and everyone she meets adores her. That said, she drives me CRAZY. Sometimes I want to spank her so hard for little things like whining or food pickiness or other annoying, yet, normal toddler activity. I cannot wait till she is no longer a toddler! Sometimes I stick her in front of a TV so that I can get a break from her. Its horrible. I absolutely love her, but she drives me NUTS. I know that none of this makes sense... but I just feel like I am having trouble. I have tried to talk to my husband about it and he gets angry at me for having any sort of negative feelings toward our "perfect" daughter. I have decided that I need to stop talking to him about it because it leads to more trouble. I feel selfish for having these thoughts. I pray for help. Today I began to wonder if I need to be on some sort of anti-anxiety med, but I don't want to be dependent on meds or have to go off/on it for pregnancies and breastfeeding. I have no concrete reason to feel this way, I just do. I just want to be a good mom.
You are a good mom because you can see that things could be better at home. God asks only that we try our best each day and he makes up for our deficienes (thank goodness!). This was/is a very difficult thing for me to learn/remember. That being said do you know other moms with kids close in age to yours? Getting together once a week with another mom (not necessarily the same one each week) helps me to see that 1) all moms have simliar feelings, and 2) my kids behavior is similar to others. It also givse me an opportunity to have a conversation with another adult and discuss different ways to handle situations that are driving me crazy (like my 10 year old who can't seem to put clean the bathroom up after he is finished taking a shower). It's okay if you need a break from the kids, that's healthy. I'm a big fan of mother's morning out programs. My three year old goes twice a week for 3 hours. He has so much fun and I get so much done during that time. I feel refreshed and ready to play when he comes home. As far as having friends, it is hard when your time is limited, your friends have their own families, and perhaps are scattered across the country. I do have one friend I have dinner with once a month. Also, three friends and I get together once a year for a long weekend without our husbands and children. I literally count the days down until the two events happen. Would something like this be feasible for you? I hope this was helpful and I'm so glad you get to go to weekly adoration alone. In fact I'm a bit jealous. I usually have at least one child, usually two with me and I'm so distracted by them!
Thanks, Jenny. I have taken many of the steps that you have advised. My daughter goes to a MMO twice a week for 3 hours, which is definitely helpful. I usually pack lots of play dates in each week so that I can talk to my mom-friends and let her get her energy out with friend's kids. I should take the time to get out of the house with a girlfriend or even my husband. Good idea. I guess I should have clarified... 3 years ago I was cycling 40 miles a day and skiing 3 days a week. Now? None of that. I sold my bike to help finance our wedding and I have skied twice in the last 2 years. I feel so antsy/on edge all the time. I do take the kiddos to the gym a couple of times a week so that I can get my energy out on the treadmill. My biggest concern is my thoughts of harming my daughter (spanking). I have spanked her before. I have yelled at her before. I hate how it makes both of us feel/act. I have promised her/myself that I would stop spanking and/or yelling, but then I find myself doing it again.. and again... I recently read a book called "Parenting with Grace" by Gregory Popcak. It made me feel like a complete FAILURE. I feel like I am losing all the attachment that I ever gained with my toddler and makes me feel like I can do nothing but fail my son someday, too. I don't understand why her normal toddler behavior can bother me this much. (ie-asking for snacks, refusing foods, asking me to do things for her while I am feeding the baby, running away when I need to dress her, etc). It should not bother me this much, but it does. She deserves better. Again, thank you, Jenny.
Oh, you sound like my twin, Losing my mind! I have been feeling the exact. same. way. lately. Truth is, who would sign up to work for a client who whined, cried, yelled, etc. like toddlers do?! Its normal to feel frustrated by facing it day in and day out! You have to "be the mom," though: you are in charge. Force some balance into your life... for everyone's sake! Here are the 10 things I am doing. It is helping, but has not been a "cure," so I hope others post here, too. 1) schedule a break for yourself. KNOW that you are going to park them in front of a wholesome movie for one hour at such-and-such a time. That way you KNOW you have a break coming! 2) schedule some quiet time. Quiet reading, quiet coloring, quiet resting/nap (if yours still nap), etc. 3) Schedule some one-on-one with each child. 20 - 30 minutes. When its over, you get up and go do something else for a little bit. But then you can continue on in your day, knowing you gave them some full-attentiveness. 4) Schedule a clean-up time. For us, its 15 mins before my husband gets home. I put on a movie (again) to park the kids, and I run around putting the junk away. It lasts all of five minutes after hubs gets home, but at least he walks in a a nice-looking place. 5) Daily bath time. Fill it with toys. Put down a high-quality no-slip on the bottom of your tub. Then, as long as you have independent-sitters, you can sit on the toilet seat and get some time not being touched by anyone! 6) Check out the stay-at-home-mom survival guide website. It has MANY ideas of things to do. 7) Get out for you, with them. I love thrift-store browsing. I pop them in the shopping cart and that is what we do once-a-month. My mom thinks its mean that I "make them tag along" while I try on stuff for myself, etc.... but I have my own sanity to keep, too! Don't listen to people who say you should only think about your kids, only! Watch them. They do NOT live this way. Even those Popcaks. Where do you think they find time to write those books?? (Not bashing them... just pointing out that EVERYONE gets away from their kids or does things "for themselves" with their kids SOMETIMES. They just may not acknowledge or admit it.) 8) Get dressed and put on make up everyday. I don't dress like I did for my pre-mama job, but I do dress "out to lunch with friends" style everyday. It keeps me feeling good about me. I used to lounge around in yoga pants all day, but then I realized my attitude was going down the tube, too. No good. 9) Start a journal and fill it with three POSITIVE things everyday. Three things you are grateful for. NEVER write anything negative. And don't duplicate what you have already written. Brainstorming for something positive to say (or actively trying to tuck aside a cute comment or fun moment for future writing-down) is a HUGE mood-booster! 10) Give options!!! But choose them wisely. For example, we love to offer our 3-year-old the option of eating all the food on her plate or just eating four bites (since WE make the "bite" sizes, "four bites" is usually a subtantial amount of food & sometimes happens to be the "whole thing," too, haha! Don't tell our daughter!) Other options, "Do you want to walk holding my hand or be carried to the car?" If she's been whiney all day and I need a break but she keeps INSISTING she will have ONLY ME (mom), we say things like, "Do you want Dad to read you a book *now* or Mom to read you a book *later*?" I'll post other ideas if I get them.... Sorry this is long and unformatted!
Losing my mind: I know exactly where you're coming from. I was so similar and I believe there is a difference between mothers who were always the homebody types and mothers like us, who were always doing, achieving, going, trying, succeeding, (I made $100k+ for quite a few years before I had kids), or at least, the kind of people who could not only survive on our own, but thrive by being alone. There's no doubt in my mind that infant/baby/toddler years are harder on personality types like ours. If you can at all get a babysitter, get one. I didn't have family, so I had to pay, but it was an investment in my mental health. And you will love it when they get old enough to go to school; you'll get part of your day back (no homeschooling for me; the very thought made me shudder). I was also a near-pro athlete, like yourself, but also very involved in the arts and successfully so. My saving grace was taking advanced classes/training in the things that I loved, so that I wasn't out of it. Once the youngest goes to school, the whole picture changes for the better. This is temporary.
Aaaahhh, thank you guys for responding! Jen, I am going to save you're entire dialogue for future reference and definitely reflect on what I am grateful for. The bath idea is wonderful, too. I, also, wonder about the Popcaks. HOW? HOW are they so patient? We just got back from the Library. A 50-something woman peered into my stroller and saw my sleeping 5-month-old and rudely said, "I bet he's sweating to death." I glared at her and almost screamed, "I'm TRYING, OK?" but I refrained and almost cried instead. Days like these are NOT easy on me. "It's temporary", I absolutely love your idea about taking a class. I definitely need a creative outlet (one that doesn't involve a paint-covered and running toddler, either). Thank you all for making me realize that this is normal. Despite being with other mom-friends a few times a week, we often don't talk candidly about these type of things.
Losing My Mind: I just wanted to say that I am really sorry for your experience with that woman and her rude comment. I know that is only a small piece of the struggles that you're dealing with, but that one resonated with me. I know how hard it is to avoid taking that kind of thing seriously, especially when feeling insecure about motherhood in general. (I also relate to overreacting to the normal toddler behavior; I get much more frustrated than I should about certain behaviors, even though I love these early years and love being home for them.)
We all lose our minds sometimes. When my first two were small, I started training to be a catechist with The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. While I love the program, the secondary benefit was that I had to use my brain -- read real books, do assignments, etc.. I joined our parish book club. Nothing like reading C.S. Lewis after a day of Dr. Seuss. Now that I have just one at home, I battle loneliness. I've always been a mother who needs a little extra mental stimulation and maybe a deadline or two to keep me moving and thinking and doing and, most of all, happy. I started blogging. I use my brain, record memories of my kids, and make a little money. The truth is not every age is appealing to every mother. My neighbor felt like the worst mother ever because she just did not enjoy babies. She is an exceptional mother to teenagers! Keep praying for grace, work on patience (right along with the rest of us), but don't beat yourself up.
@Losing My Mind. I would echo what everyone else has said that it sounds pretty normal to me--as I have said before 2 of my 7 have been well loved by their mother (me LOL) at age 3 but NOT well liked. Having said that I also think that the only person who can really tell if you need some extra help is you. By extra help I mean seeking out some professional parenting help so that you have other ways to deal with the little ankle biters! Most county extension offices offer these types of classes--if nothing else call the county social worker and ask about classes available for people who want to pass a home study for adoption/fostering. I know tons of people who have gained a lot from these classes--mostly people who just want to learn to be better parents! Just a thought.
Losing my Mind: I can SO relate! Especially about the negative thoughts about your children. Though I love my children so very much, at times, I feel a "mommy monster" has taken over me, and I simply cannot make myself be patient of kind for one more nano-second! This really bothered me for a long time (our oldest of 4 is 7.5) and has scared me in the past year. I have also read the Parenting with Grace book, which I love, but also makes me feel like a huge failure! I finally knew that something was just really off with my emotions/moods and have been a recent patient of the Pope Paul the Sixth institute in Omaha, NB. They have taken my blood work, and my monthly charts and we realized that I have very low progesterone levels (etc), which bring on depression/strange moods (negative thoughts!) through much of the month. When I read the accounts of other mothers struggling much the way you wrote about, and about how they found complete relief from the help of the Institute, I couldn't believe how similar my story is. I am praying that next month when I begin treatment, things will even out. I highly suggest you looking into the web site and reading up on Post pardem depression, or PMS syndrome, both of which are very REAL issues and could be a piece of your puzzle as well, especially with a 5 month old:) Also, maybe you read it, but at the end of the Parenting with Grace book is a beautiful section on how our lives have seasons, and we are able to do some things in certain seasons, which are not as possible in others. Maybe it isn't possible to do the 40 miles a day, but perhaps you could train for an upcoming Tough Mudder? Or join a baby boot camp? Whatever you do, please remember that you are certainly NOT the only one to feel the way you are towards your beautiful children, it is human, and sometimes, is hormone related. God Bless you in your parenting and hope to hear an update sometime soon:) MNS~
To Losing My Mind: I just want to second the comments of MNS and urge you to get some professional help if you suspect you need it. Every mother has bad days, and having little children at home is not the bliss that some women make it out to be. But as someone who has had postpartum depression, it is a totally different ball game than being bored at home with kids. I am in no way trying to diagnose you --- as someone else said, only you can know how deep your feelings are right now, and you need to listen to yourself. Maybe you were just having a particularly trying day when you wrote your comments. That being said, do not avoid seeing a counselor or doctor out of fear of what they will tell you. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression about two months after having my second child (my first was about 20 months old at the time). My midwife immediately recommended I try an antidepressant and I trusted her completely so I did. It was something I never thought I would end up doing, but it was the best decision I could have made. After a few days of feeling better, I really felt like I had missed two months of my daughter's life. I went off the medicine over the summer (daughter was born in November) and then the next winter I was depressed again. Turns out I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (basically, I am depressed every winter). I use a light box now and it works wonders. I am not trying to tell you that you are depressed. I am not urging you to go on a prescription. I am urging you to be open to getting whatever help you need right now, whether a doctor or counselor, a babysitter, whatever. Don't worry about future pregnancies right now!! Everything in God's time. Have you considered getting a part-time job? Don't box yourself in to "the one-and-only right way" of being a good mother. Good mothers sometimes need to stand up for themselves. Aside from seeing a professional, work really hard to get your kids on some sort of predictable schedule (if they already aren't). Work on getting them napping at the same time so you have a reliable break everyday. Babies and toddlers, even napping ones, need a lot of sleep, so get them to bed early. If the baby is sleeping, she won't cry for your husband when you grab a coffee break. Hire cleaning help if you can afford it, so you can just relax when they are napping. And, again, if you think about taking a coffee break and know that it isn't really going to help the way you are feeling, go talk to someone.
Thank you to "Losing my mind" and all of the helpful comments that were posted, too! I really feel better after reading through everything...and am going to try some of those ideas, for the good of my family. I will pray you have peace, and let mean people's comment/digs fly off of you like feathers...it's hard when you are really trying and it seems everyone finds fault with the way you are being Mom. I always felt panicky and slightly deranged from birth to about age 2, I was absolutely petrified something would happen to the baby. Then, at age 2 to 4 they have the tantrums and the "no" phase. I often just want to cry and curl up in a ball and I thought something was wrong with me! {I chalked it up to being an "Antique Mommy" who started having a family well into my thirties, who used to work out of the home and just needed to get my head around my new *job*}. Gee whiz, I truly loved my kids but didn't always like them much! One thing that helped us, was getting outside for them to use up their extra energy=stomping puddles, throwing leaves making a fort or other things that work for you. Hang in there, and thanks again for bringing your post to this forum!
"losing my mind," no time to read the other responders, but you're not along and you're not a bad mom. Trust me, your 2-year-old is not going to remember the few times you lost it. She's going to remember all the time and love you gave her. At 2, even the "experts" say up to 2 hrs. of TV a day is okay. Don't feel guilty. I recently created a schedule that really helps, very simple, like "bring Daddy to work; breakfast; play time; snack and a tv show; naptime." My 2 year old LOVES it. Then when he asks for a show, I can say "let's look at the schedule, it's not show time yet. It's snack time." And that will keep him happy. Be realistic: say to yourself, okay, ideally they wouldn't be watching TV, but since they end up doing it every day anyway, let's make a specific time every day for them to watch a show, so it doesn't get out of hand. I am on anti-depressants too but I think the biggest difference was seeing a therapist. I got married right out of college, so I didn't have to really give up a career or independence, but I _still_ feel like I'm stifling at home! I just got a part-time job that has REALLY helped. It's just at a supermarket deli--not a lot of money or challenging intellectual stuff--but just getting out and doing something adult and feeling competent has helped tremendously. And it has helped my husband to understand why I am bored and frustrated being at home, because he watches the kids while I work. Hang in there, ladies! I'm praying for you today.
I wish you ladies could all come over for coffee. I think all of you are so caring and helpful. I was fearful that someone would comment that I was indeed selfish. I am saying prayers of thanks for all of you. I am not myself... and I do miss myself. Sometimes, I do believe that I need to get over my shame of speaking with my physician about it. I have a good Catholic doc who may be able to tell if my progesterone is low, but I have not started charting, as I am often up through the night with the baby and my fertility has not yet returned. If I can work up the nerve to speak with him I will come back and let you know. Andrea, I have considered a part-time job, as I used to be a nurse and could easily work only a few shifts per month. That said, I am petrified of leaving my 5-month-old for such a long time. He's such a little "mama's boy" and is still nursing like a newborn. I am so glad that many of you can relate. Your words are on my heart and I managed not to threaten a spank to my 2-year-old this morning, despite several tantrums. She's quite emotional and JUST like ME! :-) God bless her. Thank you!
I wish I could have coffee with all you wonderful ladies, too! :) And this conversation has given me the courage to sit down and talk with my husband about how I have not felt like myself for awhile, too. I think I may have had PPD last year and never really gotten "better" (even though my son is now 15 months old). Never said a word to anyone about it, though. I know my husband has suffered quietly, though. Time to get some help...
Losing My Mind- You are definitely not alone! I can't add much to the great advice above. (In fact, I may have to steal some of it). But 3 additional thoughts.....1. If a "babysitter" is too much, get a mother's helper. Maybe a neighborhood middle school-high school kid who can come over to the house after school for an hour or 2 and watch your 2 year old. Then you don't have to leave the house, but they can entertain her and keep her out of your hair. 2. Consider reading "Love and Logic". It's a discipline approach for kids - mostly geared to kids over 3 but we have implemented a lot of things already (my twins are 2 1/2). One thing I realized reading it was a lot of the techniques they recommend really are about the parents learning how to handle normal and aberrant toddler behavior. So when one or both of my kids are throwing tantrums I think what I should be doing and try to keep my cool 3. Join a mom's group of women who do talk candidly about real life issues. My mom's group at church is very small but the women are real. I am blessed to know alot of women who can share their experiences and it is really helpful. Good luck!
Again, thank you! And, Jen, best wishes with getting help. I think I need to get help, too. I don't understand PPD very well b/c I absolutely LOVE my kids and feel like they have given me such a great appreciation for life. I felt a greater amount of love when I had a second child, too, which makes me look forward to having a third child some day (maybe). That said, these low moments are too hard to handle. This really is a roller coaster. Very high and so very low.
Wow. Such great comments from lovely people! I have a 4yr old, 2yr old, & 7mos twins....happy mom=happy baby/kids=happy home! So simple & true. After my 1st son I was hit hard w/PPD (overwhelmed, started many things but couldn't finish, felt like a cloud was hanging over my head)I felt embarrassed for going to the Dr. but was encouraged by my sister-in-law & husband. I got immediate relief from an antidepressant....& it changed my world. I dislike the stigma behind it---you are not weak for being on it. It's all brain chemistry & balancing you out again (pregnancy puts your body in a blender!)---so if you are curious ask the dr. Hang in there. I always thought "terrible twos" was just a myth....HA!!!!! You're not alone, my dear! God bless you!!
I miss Faith and Family Live and do not know if I am posting in the right place. I have a daughter receiving her First Holy Communion this year and am interested in chatting with other parents who want to get involved in the preparation but her Catholic School has not been very communicative at all about the celebration of the sacrament and I want to outreach to other parents.
Unknown, I am going to post your comment on this morning's (Monday's) coffee talk. Check there.


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Electronic trail helped MLB gain Biogenesis bans
In these 2013 file photos are, top row from left; Texas Rangers' Nelson Cruz, Detroit Tigers' Jhonny Peralta, San Diego Padres' Everth Cabrera, New York Yankees' Francisco Cervelli, Philadelphia Phillies' Antonio Bastardo and San Diego Padres' Fautino de los Santos. Bottom row from left are: Houston Astro's Sergio Escalona, Houston Astros' Fernando Martinez, now with the New York Yankees, Seattle Mariners' Jesus Montero, New York Mets' Cesar Puello, New York Mets' Jordan Valdespin and Oakland Athletics' Jordan Norberto. Alex Rodriguez remained the lone holdout while All-Stars Nelson Cruz, Jhonny Peralta and Everth Cabrera were among 12 players who accepted 50-game penalties from Major League Baseball on Monday, Aug. 5, 2013, as part of its Biogenesis drug investigation, a person familiar with the negotiations told The Associated Press. (AP Photo/File) by Ronald BlumAP Sports Writer NEW YORK (AP) — Facebook friends. Transcripts of BlackBerry instant messages. Records of texts. Major League Baseball's investigators used an arsenal of high-tech tools to collect the evidence that persuaded a dozen players to accept 50-game suspensions this week for their ties to the Biogenesis clinic. And when it came time to meet with the players' association, they flashed some of their documentary proof. While there was not enough time for the union to thoroughly examine what baseball had collected, there was little doubt there was an electronic trail, one of the people familiar with the meetings said. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because no public statements were authorized. "It both complicates things and adds a layer of proof that certainly wasn't available many years ago," union general counsel David Prouty said Tuesday.

subset: commoncrawl


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13 March 2006
"Nonrealist Fiction"
We're here to talk about "nonrealist fiction", but I'd like to begin, instead of with the non- of something, with the something itself first. If there is nonrealist fiction, there must then be something called realist fiction. (Of course, I'm skipping over the privileging of "realist" that "nonrealist" allows -- "realist" being the normative core of the word "nonrealist". But so it goes.)
The New England Puritan in me balks at the term "realist fiction", because it seems like a contradiction, a paradox. That -ist suffix makes an adjective out of the noun "real", and how, my inner Puritan asks, can fiction be real?
I don't listen too closely to my inner Puritan very often, because he tends to sound a lot like his friend Jacques Derrida, and that gives me the urge to deconstruct his membership in the New England Puritan Society. Nonetheless, it's, if not a good question, at least an amusing one: Can fiction be real?
A better question is: What do we talk about when we talk about realism? What is excluded from the terms realism and realist?
It's important to remember that realism is an exclusionary category, that it sets up borders and keeps things out. Every category does this, though, so I don't mean to beat up on "realism" unfairly. What I'm interested in is what might motivate the desire to privilege the exclusionary term "realism".
My short answer to the question of what motivates this privileging, this desire to create boundaries and to exclude -- my short answer is: I don't know.
My long answer, much too long for today, involves casual and suggestive mentions of child psychology, Stalin, Robert Penn Warren, Jean-Luc Godard, Sputnik, the year 1968, Richard Nixon, environmental degredation, gay liberation, the Equal Rights Amendment, Affirmative Action, Jerry Falwell, Tipper Gore, the Dead Kennedys, "The Real World", "Survivor", Al Sharpton, Oliver North, Dr. Laura, Oprah, The Daily Show, JT Leroy, plastic surgery, Jack Abramoff, Dick Cheney's shotgun, Myspace.com, Cory Doctorow, and that annoying Billy Joel song "We Didn't Start the Fire". Among other things. Welcome to the dessert of the real.
Because we have limited time, I'm going to ask you to imagine there is a real transition here, because I would like to seize on some ideas that spawned this discussion. One of the descriptions I got for this panel included the sentence, "The old notions of disparaging writing that incorporates strategies commonly associated with the labels of science fiction, fantasy, horror are shifting dramatically." Unless I'm misreading things, this assumes that science fiction, fantasy, and horror are nonrealist writing of some sort.
Therefore, it seems that there is an implied definition of realist writing here that excludes elements associated with science fiction, fantasy, and horror. Realist writing as it is constructed here seems to be writing that does not deviate from events we know are possible within whatever world it is we consider the real one.
Such a definition of realist excludes much of the best literature created throughout human history. That alone should be enough to make us say that nonrealist writing deserves to be valued as much as realist writing. Make a list of ten writers you think are the best who ever lived; how many of them wrote only about events and actions that could actually happen in the world they lived in?
But (I hear you cry) nobody is calling for good literature to be ignored, marginalized, laughed at, forgotten, destroyed. Of course not. Us? Even that bizarre old adventure writer Herman Melville wrote a couple things worth saving. No no no, the truth is we all know what we're talking about. We're talking about crap. Thankfully, publishers and booksellers label the crap so we can avoid it. If you want crap, buy something labelled science fiction, fantasy, or horror. If you want something that is great art, buy something labelled Fiction/Literature.
Perhaps you sense a note of sarcasm in my tone. I can't be the only person in this room who has walked through the Fiction aisle of a big bookstore and thought, "Oh my god, look at all this crap!" Any stroll through the Fiction section makes me feel like that character in Five Easy Pieces: "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap..." But the only time people notice is when I'm wandering through the Science Fiction section and saying the same thing. Then they think I'm insightful. Then they think I'm a man of discerning taste, a man of culture and refinement.
Okay, so I'm generalizing. But let me say this -- my problem is I don't particularly care what something is labelled, and I especially don't like issuing proclamations that all writers should or should not write in some specific way. What I desire as a reader and a writer has little to do with whether something fits anyone's definition of realist or not, and even less to do with how it fits into a marketing category. As a reader and writer, I find work compelling when it aims to push the possibilities of language and structure, of emotion and character, of ideas and effects. I grow bored with books that are a lot like other books and with stories that don't strive toward being something more than simple entertainment. These qualities can be found in works that fit just about any definition of realist or nonrealist, and they can certainly be found throughout the various sections of any bookstore -- and, conversely, these qualities are absent from many works that fit just about any definition of realist or nonrealist, and they are absent from whole shelves and cases of books in every section of every bookstore.
I'll leave you with what seems to me to be a question that flows naturally from these conclusions. If no definition of realist or nonrealist can be used as a value judgment -- if I can get the sorts of pleasures I desire from texts with stakes down in either camp -- what purpose do these labels serve?
I don't mean this question to be simply contradictory, because I do think there are times when we need distinguishing terms, even when we admit they are paradoxical and not entirely adequate. But we need such terms so we can express preferences, tastes, moods, inclinations, goals, ideals -- not to ghettoize and exclude, but to explore and describe, to express overlaps and disjunctions, to see what, previously, we might have been blind to. Just because we see things differently doesn't mean we should all stop looking.
8 comments:
- Spencer3/13/2006 5:42 PM
Dessert of the real or desert of the real? I'm confused.ReplyDelete
As written.ReplyDelete
You know what's funny? I've found that the definition of realist and non-realist fiction changes when you move out of the sphere of fantasy readers/writers.ReplyDelete
For example, most f/sf readers/writers would consider John Barth and Don DeLillo as realist writers, while anyone outside of the field would consider them non-realist, since they are not of the "realist" movement.
Wacky, wacky, wacky.
More and more I'm starting to wonder about the fragile nature of langauge as communication, esp when it comes to describing things such as genre.
i agree with so much of this.ReplyDelete
imagine a major art museum, containing a mix of old masterpieces and absolutely contemporary work, and all the best of everything in between.
and imagine that every single painting in that museum is a naturalistic landscape or portrait, rendered in oil, in the approved academic style of 1790.
it can't be done. it can't be imagined. that is not the history of great art.
and yet that (the equivalent of that) is what the literature section of most bookstores offers us.
by the way, it's maybe worth mentioning that "realism" used to be a new and radical style (zola, sinclair), since it included all of uncensored reality, as opposed to the incomplete realism of the victorian novel. so maybe naturalism is what we're talking about here.
but realism, naturalism, experimentalism, surrealism, blah--this is nothing for writers to waste their time thinking about. these are just label for journalists to apply, after the fact. let a writer discover exactly what work he should be doing, and never think of categories, never, ever. do your work, adhere to you-ism. that's what we need most of all.
I think as human beings we have a desire to be classified, to be told how we fit into the universe. I guess genre is a way of doing this- it's about as meaningful as knowing you are capricorn, a virgo or a taurus, but none the less people desire to be placed into catagories.ReplyDelete
I'm not saying that it's a good thing, but I think it's a part of human psychology to want to be put into some catagory, like genre fiction, just like some people love to be told that they will be the next "Hemmingway" or "Faulkner".
I myself think of it as a huge game. Call me fantasy, call me scifi, spank my ass and call me sally. I don't care as long as it's my own. I don't want to be the next Hemmingway, I want to be the next Paul Jessup, whatever the hell that means.
Thank you for this commentary and for your weblog in general.ReplyDelete
Your notes raise questions for me--and I mean the kind of questions that seem almost foreclosed by the AWP panel's debate.
1) Besides conferences like the AWP, and the categories that seem necessary for selling books (and "seem" is the optimal word), when are these labels of realist and nonrealist truly important?
2) Apart from the obvious capitalist concerns of publishing, why should practicing writers of stories, novellas, novels, and unchartered forms care about these classifications?
I often get the sad sense that readers and writers encamp themselves in narrow rooms of taste, generic fetishes, and stylistic obsessions and then ready themselves to battle those who depart from their passions.
When I am able to *get* the governing structural principles behind the work at the same time that I find something in the writing which interrogates what it means to try to live in our time, then I flock to the work, regardless of its presumed theoretical classification. Where are the generous people who, like me on most days, read just as much Barth as Dixon; as much Holly Black as Chip Delaney and O. Butler; as much James Purdy as Madison Bell, and Patricia Highsmith--to say nothing of Alexander Chee?
Well, there is also implications of narrative advantages (& disadv) as well as philosophical advantages (& disadv) based on the level of actuality* and possibility in a novel/short story/etc.ReplyDelete
For example, a novel using a more actuality slant can hit closer to home for readers, and bring in an easier suspension of disbelief. While, a novel with a more possibility slant can toy with ideas on the construction of the universe, and other abstract ideas.
Note: I use the term actuality in place of realism, since realism is also a literary movement, and I don't want to confuse terms.
Also, with realism you usually have realism and non-realism as terms, forcing everything to be seen through the eyes of what is real. While, with possible worlds logic, you have actual and possible as terms.
I've never understood the distinction, quite frankly. Realist fiction, while an admirable attempt to capture reality in all its glory and or banality, cannot ever approach true reality. The fact that a character makes up a character/s and constructs a plot (if not, a situation) is kind of like creating a secondary world, only on a much smaller scale. In both cases, you are attempting to bring something to life that does not exist...sounds terribly unrealistic and fanciful to me...ReplyDelete


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OAKLAND -- Port chief Omar Benjamin was part of a group whose $4,537 tab at a Texas strip club was paid for by the Port of Oakland, newly released expense records show.
Benjamin's name was redacted from copies of the receipt previously released to the press.
The Port of Oakland released the full version of the expenses records Friday as scrutiny over the spending continued, showing for the first time that Benjamin, the agency's executive director, helped run up the expensive strip club tab passed off as a normal business meeting.
The receipt from a party at the Houston strip club, Treasures, was submitted for reimbursement by James Kwon, the port's maritime director.
His name is second to Benjamin's on the receipt dated Oct. 21, 2008.
To have Kwon submit the receipt instead of Benjamin is a violation of port policy. Benjamin should have submitted the reimbursement request because he is Kwon's boss.
"Where more than one employee participates in a business activity, the individual at the highest level of authority should report the expense," according to the port's administrative manual.
In turn, Benjamin's expenses are supposed to be submitted to "a higher level of authority."
Port officials did not say what sanctions, if any, Kwon and Benjamin would be subject to.
They could be subject to dismissal if the investigation shows they improperly billed the port, according to the agency's administrative policies.
Benjamin and Kwon are on paid leave. Benjamin was paid $257,508 in 2011. Kwon's pay was $214,248.
"I am cooperating with the Port inquiry and will do whatever I can to resolve this matter constructively and in the interests of the Port of Oakland," Benjamin said by email.
The port hired Arnold & Porter LLP to audit port records for other expenditures, including other nightclub visits in Asia and Oakland billed to the port by employees.
After a special meeting Friday, board President Gilda Gonzales said the agency is pleased with the progress being made on the expense report investigation.
"The Board is eagerly looking forward to the conclusion of the investigation, and is confident that more definitive developments will be announced soon," she said in a written statement, which she read aloud during the meeting.
Port policy allows "reasonable and necessary travel, entertainment and other expenditures incurred in the course of conducting the business of the Port." It does not say where they can be entertained or how much executives can spend entertaining them.
However, reimbursement requests should show the amount of the expense, the date and place of the payment, names and titles of others attending, and the business purpose of the expense.
The delegation of BNSF Railway businessmen Kwon was supposed to be entertaining in Houston have said they have no record of being at the club or in Houston at the time, BNSF spokeswoman Lena Kent said. Their names continue to be redacted.
Kenneth Katzoff, Kwon's attorney, said his client returned from Korea, met with lawyers hired by the port for five and a half hours and "fully expects to be cleared of any wrongdoing." Kwon has returned to Korea to be with his ailing mother-in-law.


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Johnnie Helmer Kvendru, 101, of Belview, passed away Thursday, October 18, 2012 at the Parkview Manor in Belview. Funeral Service was held Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at Rock Dell Lutheran Church in rural Belview. Online condolences may be placed at www.sunsetfuneralassociation.com. The Sunset Funeral & Cremation Association of Echo and Wabasso handled the arrangements for the family.
Johnnie Helmer Kvendru was born June 2, 1911, to Halvor and Anna (Abrahamson) Kvendru on the family farm in Swedes Forest Township, Redwood County. He was baptized and confirmed at Rock Dell Evangelical Lutheran Church and attended School District #52.
He grew up in Swedes Forest Township until February 10, 1942, when he enlisted into the United States Navy in Houston, Texas. He was a Third Class gunners mate on the Merchant Marine Ships in the Persian Gulf during WWII. Upon his honorable discharge from the Navy November 9, 1945, Johnnie returned to the area and moved to a farm in the Sioux Agency Township.
On November 24, 1946, Johnnie was united in marriage to Clara Hegge at a parsonage in Granite Falls, and they made their home on the farm in the Sioux Agency Township.
He was a farmer his entire life putting in more than 63 years of work on the farm. Clara passed away July 30, 1970 in Rochester.
On June 3, 1972, Johnnie married Louise Schoeck Goetz at St. John's Lutheran Church in Renville, and they continued to live on the farm until 1978, when they moved into Renville.
On September 15, 2002, Louise passed away and Johnnie continued to live in Renville until August 2006 when he moved into the Parkwood Apartments in Belview.
Johnnie was a lifelong member of Rock Dell Evangelical Lutheran Church where he was active as an elder and trustee. He also was active over the years with St. John's Lutheran Church in Renville. He was a member of the American Legion and Farmers Union in Belview and was director of the Farmers Co-op Oil Company.
Johnnie enjoyed fishing, card playing, wood working, gardening, traveling to Alaska, Hawaii and Norway and spending time at his lake cabin on Lake Amelia.
Johnnie is survived by his three siblings, Adelaide Walseth of Echo, Glenn Kvendru of El Cajhon, Calif. and Arfield (Adella) Kvendru of Belview; stepson, Robert (Joyce) Goetz of Austin; step-grandchildren, John Goetz of Los Angeles, Calif. and Timothy (Ilia) Goetz of Breinigsville, Penn.; step-great-grandchildren, Adriana, Alexander and Andrew and many nieces, nephews, cousins and friends.
Johnnie's parents, Halvor and Anna, spouses, Clara and Louise, two sisters, Alma Enger and Katherine Hagen and two brothers, Melvin and Harold Kvendru preceded him in death.
Blessed be the memory of Johnnie.
Location, ST | website.com


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One, two, three, four....The clock in the kitchen struck twelve. How irrelevantly, seeing that time had ceased to exist! The absurd, importunate bell had sounded at the heart of a timelessly present Event, of a Now that changed incessantly in a dimension, not of seconds and minutes, but of beauty, of significance of intensity, of deepening mystery. "Luminous bliss." From the shallows of his mind the words rose like bubbles, came to the surface, and vanished into the infinite spaces of living light that now pulsed and breathed behind his closed eyelids. "Luminous bliss." That was as near as one could come to it. But it---this timeless and yet ever-changing Event--was something that words could only caricature and diminish, never convey. It was not only bliss, it was also understanding. Understanding of everything, but without knowledge of anything. Knowledge involved a knower and all the infinite diversity of known and knowable things. But here, behind his closed lids, there was neither spectacle nor spectator,. There was only this experienced fact of being blissfully one with Oneness.
Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
Source: Island (Perennial Classics), Pages: 308..309
Contributed by: Nara-Narayana
Copyright © 2016 Gaiam, Inc.


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Last month, the Democratic governor released a budget plan that proposed drastic changes to the way the state distributes money to schools. Brown has said such a change is necessary to provide more help to low-income schools, but some lawmakers have expressed concern that it would mean less funding for wealthier districts.
"Growing up in Compton or Richmond is not like it is to grow up in Los Gatos or Beverly Hills or Piedmont," Brown said last month in explaining his proposal. "It is controversial, but it is right and it's fair."
The figures released Wednesday by the state Department of Finance offer more details about how the proposal would affect every school district if lawmakers approve it. It is available at the Finance Department's website.
Under Brown's plan, schools with high proportions of English learners, foster children and low-income students would receive additional grants.
For example, in Los Angeles Unified—where 71 percent of students qualify for free and reduced meals, and 28 percent are English learners—funding per pupil would rise from $7,509 this year to $11,993 once the governor's proposal is fully implemented.
At Beverly Hills Unified—where 6 percent of students qualify for free and reduced meals, and 6 percent are English learners—the district's per pupil allotment would rise from $7,838 this year to just $8,523.
According to the Department of Finance, the "vast majority of school districts and charter schools (approximately 1,700) will receive moderate to significant funding increases." A district's overall per pupil spending could be more because of federal support.
Brown's overall budget plan calls for $2.7 billion more for elementary and secondary education and community colleges for the next fiscal year. Much of the funding will come from recent voter-approved hikes in the state sales tax and income taxes on the wealthy.
Finance Department's funding estimates: http://bit.ly/YHwj31


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SMC men's basketball looks to stay unbeaten
Published: Friday, February 22, 2013 at 6:53 p.m.
Last Modified: Friday, February 22, 2013 at 6:53 p.m.
Top-ranked Spartanburg Methodist could move a step closer to a perfect regular season when it hosts Denmark Tech at 4 p.m. today.
SMC (28-0), the only undefeated junior college team in the country, will finish its schedule at home Wednesday against the Limestone junior varsity team. The Pioneers, by way of their Region 10 regular-season title, have already secured a berth in the NJCAA championship tournament, a 24-team, single-elimination event next month in Hutchinson, Kan.
The Pioneers earlier this season won at Denmark Tech, 94-56. SMC was up by 24 at the half and all 15 players on the roster scored by the end. The Region 10 tournament, which will award a second team a berth in the national event, begins March 7 in Walterboro.
Reader comments posted to this article may be published in our print edition. All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published without permission. Links are encouraged.


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PLEASANT HILL -- As the temperatures soared into the upper 80s Wednesday, a man briefly stood alone, decked out in a dark suit and with a sports jacket and tie.
Yet Matthew Kimball looked hardly uncomfortable. A rather warm suit on a very warm day was nothing considering what the person in the spotlight shouldered, he said.
"Ryan Andresen to me is inspiring," the Eagle Scout said. "You can't understate how much courage this took."
Andresen, who turned 18 earlier this month, is the gay Moraga Boy Scout who was denied his Eagle Scout designation because of his sexual orientation. He turned in a petition against the action with more than 400,000 signatures to his Scout Council on Wednesday.
Kimball, 30, was there to give Andresen his Eagle Scout badge. And because he's been out of the closet for two weeks. And because he earned his Eagle badge from Scout Troop 212, the same Moraga-based Troop that was forced by the Scouts' national policy to turn down Andresen. Kimball said he knew he was gay 12 years ago, but only gained the courage to come out after Andresen's story emerged.
"If a 17-year-old kid can do this, then so can I," Kimball said. "Scouting is wonderful, but they undo much of the good they try to teach with this policy. You can't, as an organization, tell someone to be of faith and then force that person to lie to himself. You can't resolve that. It's not right."
Kimball said he was giving his Eagle badge to Andresen, not because he didn't want it anymore but because he was more proud of it than ever.
"I think Ryan deserves to have it," Kimball said. "What he's doing is going to -- already has -- helped a lot of people."
Rick Hurd covers breaking news. Contact him at 925-945-4780 and follow him at Twitter.com/3rdERH.


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Why the exodus? And what does it mean?
Less people means less money. And while they still work and play here, many people are choosing not to live in the garden city.
It's no secret...lots of folks are leaving Richmond County, and many aren't going far, moving right down the road to Columbia County.
And there's no single reason why.
For homeowner Iris Souza, it's a no-brainer.
"Everything is happening in this county," she says.
She's lived in Columbia County for 25 years, and she says she understands why it's a hot spot for folks leaving Richmond County.
"Parents feel that the children get a better education out here," she says.
One of those parents is Misty Kilpatrick. She and her family recently made the move. Kilpatrick says a booming economy and higher test scores were factors, but safety was an even greater concern.
"The trouble--we have trouble here, don't get me wrong, but it's so much trouble on such a regular basis over there and in the neighborhoods," Kilpatrick says.
IRS data shows nearly 1500 people are moving to Columbia County from Richmond County each year.
Other data shows Richmond County's population has slightly decreased in the last five years, while Columbia County's has increased by over 11,000 people.
Richmond County Population
2000: 199,548
2005: 199,300
(down by 248)
Columbia County Population
2000: 89,829
2005: 101,380
(up by:11, 551)
source: N. Augusta Economic Profile
Liz Manthei still lives in Augusta, and she says there's another major reason people are leaving.
"I think there's a lot of corruption in Richmond County, more than in Columbia County," she says.
"I disagree," says Augusta commissioner Betty Beard. "I disagree with all of it."
But some Augusta leaders say Columbia County migration is a temporary trend. They feel that those who've left the Garden City will eventually see the grass isn't so green on the other side.
"Now that they're moving to Columbia County, have you noticed crime seems to be increasing?" Beard says.
"The same people that left Richmond County because of the perception of better schools in Columbia County, once their kids get in school, they'll move back to Richmond County," says mayor Deke Copenhaver. "I have no doubt in the world."
Some Augusta leaders say the large amount of people leaving is affecting the tax base, which does add to the budget deficit.
The majority of people we spoke to say the prospect of better schools was their main reason for moving.
While people may be moving out of Richmond County, they still seem to be spending a lot of time there.
The US Census Bureau keeps up with how many people commute to a city every day. The numbers from 2000 show while people may live outside the city, they're still working in Augusta.
During the day, the city's population grows by about 13 percent, to more than 220,000 people.
And the numbers show that surrounding communities lose people during the day.
North Augusta has a daytime population decrease of almost 13 percent. Martinez loses over 16 percent. And Evans loses almost 20 percent of its population during the workday.


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I have found that peat mixes almost always seem to promote algae blooms for some reason, and lowers the pH quite a bit. The Aldrovanda does best with some clay and leaf litter with a neutral pH=7.0.
I find that algae is present, but not in long strands. It almost always forms near U. inflata, but never smothers any plants. Our water here is quite hard and alkaline... the peat was put in mostly to buffer the water back to a neutral pH. The outdoor setup has an inch layer of our soil... which coincidentally is adobe clay. That tank is always devoid of algae.
I should also mention that Aldrovanda has a horrific winter fatality rate, up to 95%...
In the summer, I will probably reintroduce some Aldrovanda from my indoor stock back outdoors. I have a feeling that I won't find any there come spring, but only time will tell.


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HOME Wisconsin Badgers Gear Wisconsin Badgers Sweatshirts & Fleece Wisconsin Badgers Sweatshirts & Fleece Ladies (75 items) Product ID: 888857
Main Content
This item ships within one business day.
You don't always need the trendiest Badger's apparel to show off your team spirit. Sometimes, it's better to get back to basics. The Wisconsin Slouchy pullover sweatshirt sports a school logo with "Wisconsin" lettering across the chest in distressed screen print for a simple and effective display of your team pride. Rock this pullover during lazy days at home, studying at the library, running errands or anywhere else your day might take you.
- 50% Cotton/50% Polyester
- Distressed screen print graphics
- Made in the USA
- Midweight hoodie suitable for moderate temperatures
- Officially licensed collegiate product
- Soft fleece lining
- Crew neck
- Screen print graphics
- Pullover
- Made in the USA
- Brand: Signorelli
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Manufacturer direct items are shipped directly from the manufacturer. These items are not available for international or expedited shipping.
Customized items can be personalized with options such as your name, your favorite number, and/or designs. Some options may be limited by league rules.


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The Morning Leverage: It's About To Get Harder To Go Public In Hong Kong
Top stories in this morning's LBO Wire:
Can you hear me now? MSouth Equity Partners is looking to make that phrase a thing of the past, putting up $80 million to back Eco-Site Inc., which is working to build towers in dense urban areas to meet increasing demand for wireless spectrum.
And a few stories exclusively available to LBO Wire subscribers: Pantheon and Commonfund Capital are both out on the market with new emerging markets focused funds . . . Jonathan Shieber has details about talks about a new venture between EnCap Flatrock Midstream and the principals of Cardinal Midstream LLC, a company the firm recently sold for $600 million.
(LBO Wire is a daily newsletter with comprehensive analysis of all the investments, deals, fundraisings and personnel moves involving private equity firms. For a two-week trial, visit our homepage, scroll to the bottom and click "try for free.")
Elsewhere on the web:
Hong Kong's Securities and Futures Commission is implementing a set of rules with investor protection in mind, but some argue that they will only serve to steer banks away from high-growth, high-risk Chinese companies. The Wall Street Journal's Nisha Gopalan and Prudence Ho have more here.
KKR's bid for Renesas Electronics has been rendered moot as a group of Japanese manufacturers including Toyota MotorPanasonic and Canon have stepped in with more than $2 billion in financing for the chip-maker.
Deal Journal Australia's Gillian Tan reports that Champ Private Equity is seeking an exit for Golding Contractors, hiring Macquarie Capital to run a process for the mining and infrastructure services provider.


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Sam, beloved son of mother, Terryl Detmar of Palo Cedro, and of father and step-mother, Bill Brophy and Kay Clark of Santa Cruz; and beloved brother of sister and brother-in-law, Hillary and Jeff Jones of Shingletown; and beloved uncle of niece and nephew-in-law, Rebecca and Martin Rizzo, and of nephew, Nathan Jones, both of Santa Cruz; and beloved step-brother of Chandra Redinger, brother-in-law, Brian Redinger, and uncle of Josephine Redinger, all of Washington, died peacefully at home in Palo Cedro on May 18th, 2012, after a long illness.
Although born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, Sam's true home and heart resided in the beauty and wilderness of the Sierra Nevada, specifically the Lake Tahoe Basin and surrounding mountains, and the Eastern Sierra Nevada. A mountain and road bicycle builder and mechanic at an early age, Sam was renowned for these talents by friends and co-workers, and was considered by famous bicyclist, Greg LeMond, to be the "best bicycle mechanic in the Sierra Nevada". His other skills included those of ski repair and his exquisite craftsmanship as a finish carpenter.
Sam's professions reveal his passions and, whenever possible, he sought peace, inspiration and freedom as a solitary and accomplished mountaineer, expert telemark skier, and of course, phenomenal mountain bike rider.
Sam, we will love you forever, and with you we send these soothing and freeing words of John Muir written in 1898, and for whom they could not be more true:
"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings./Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees./The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves."
Sam will be buried in the family plot in Redding Memorial Park with a memorial planned for later in the summer in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Those who cared for Sam may contact sister and brother-in-law, Hillary and Jeff Jones at email@example.com for information regarding the memorial.


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Federal regulators say natural gas has stopped flowing from a well that had been ablaze in the Gulf of Mexico and only small flames remained in the pipe.
The Bureau of Safety and Environmental Enforcement says the well "bridged over." That means sand and sediment collapsed into the area being drilled, blocking the line.
Both BSEE and the Coast Guard have flown over the well to check this.
The well blew out Tuesday and caught fire late Tuesday night.
No one was hurt, and the incident is now under investigation.
Sign up for our email newsletters to get breaking news right in your inbox. Click here from your desktop computer to sign up; on our mobile website, use the drop down to the right to "Get Email Alerts."


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This problem occurs when the paint film erodes and the resulting residue appears chalky.
What Causes It?Chalk run-down occurs when paint erodes excessively onto another area below (a brick foundation, for example), ruining its appearance. The problem has a number of causes.
First, the use of a lower-quality, highly pigmented paint or an interior paint can cause the paint to erode prematurely. Factory-finished metal siding can also erode to cause this problem.
How to Solve ItFirst, remove as much of the chalk residue as possible by scrubbing any stained areas with a stiff brush and a detergent solution. Then, rinse the surface thoroughly. In cases of severe staining, an acid wash may be necessary. Either way, if the affected area dries to a different color, consider painting it with a quality latex paint. Eroding aluminum siding should be thoroughly cleaned (power washing recommended) before painting with a quality exterior latex paint.
Note: Images provided by The Rohm & Hass Paint Quality Institute.
Note: On-screen and printer color representations may vary from actual paint colors.


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SPRINGFIELD, Mo. (AP) — A dozen Drury University students will spend their winter break working in orphanages and clinics in South Africa.
The Springfield News-Leader (http://sgfnow.co/12AaRSD ) reports that the students and two professors will leave Friday for Cape Town and return Jan. 16.
They'll stay in homes with South African residents. Many of the children they'll help have been affected by HIV.
Most of the students on the trip have an interest in the medical field. They have all participated in an HIV/AIDS awareness program, and they'll continue that training in South Africa.
Location, ST | website.com


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Rising Yields Nothing To Fear for Stock Investors
Investors have nothing to fear from the 10-year Treasury yield's rise above 3%, one analyst says.
As long as the economy continues to grow, BTIG chief strategist Dan Greenhaus suggested that yields and stocks can keep rising together.
"We have been writing all year about interest rates and the fact that higher rates were not, and are not, on their own something to fear," Greenhaus wrote in a note to clients. "Indeed, rates have moved markedly higher in 2013, but so have stock prices."
The 10-year Treasury yield reached an intraday high of 3.019% Friday, the highest level since July 2011, before pulling back to 2.993% in recent trading. The yield has climbed from 1.756% at the end of 2012, the biggest annual increase since 2009.
Meanwhile, the S&P 500 has surged 29% this year, hitting 44 record highs along the way, and is headed for the best annual performance since 1997. The index was little changed at 1841 in recent trading.
The 10-year yield started rising sharply in May after the Federal Reserve indicated that it could start winding down its bond-purchase stimulus program. That led to a 5.8% slide in the S&P 500 from May 21 to June 24, the biggest pullback of the year, but the index was back to hitting record highs by July 11.
In the meantime, Greenhaus noted that economic growth has improved markedly from +0.1% in the fourth-quarter of 2012 to +4.1% in the third-quarter of 2013.
"Simply put, if the U.S. economy is going to perform better in 2014 than 2013 — and we expect it will — then yields will have to move higher," Greenhaus said. "Not because of the Fed tapering, although that's part of it, but because that's just what happens."
In 2009, yields rose from 2.244% to 3.843% and the S&P 500 climbed 23%. GDP improved from -8.3% at the end of 2008 to +3.9% in the fourth quarter of 2009.


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The Buffalo Bison football team traveled to Green River Friday to take on the top-ranked Green River Wolves and came away with a 17-14 win in overtime.
Buffalo, outscored 14-0 in the first half, came roaring back in the second half to tie the game and send it into overtime.
Green River had the ball first in overtime, but Buffalo held the Wolves on three downs before blocking their field goal attemp on fourth down.
The Bison then kicked the winning field goal on first down to escape with a 17-14 overtime win.
LARAMIE (AP) - Wyoming Offensive Coordinator and
Quarterbacks Coach, Gregg Brandon, knows Bowling Green well. Bowling Green, Ohio, is where he got his first chance to be a college head football coach, and where he spent nearly one-third of his 30-year coaching career.
FOOTBALL - The Sheridan Broncs beat Evanston 42 to 35. Jordan Roberts rushed for 354 yards and four touchdowns. The Broncs are back at home next Friday when they host Rock Springs.
The Big Horn Rams go to 2-1 after shutting out Wright 31-0 Friday afternoon. The Rams play at Glenrock next week.
Both the games will be broadcast live next Friday.
The Wyoming Cowboys play at Bowling Green today; kickoff is at 10:00 on AM 1410 KWYO.
The Big Horn Rams cruised to a convincing win Friday afternoon with a 31-0 drubbing of the Wright Panthers.
The Rams have now won two in a row and sit at 2-1 on the season.
They will take to the road next Friday night to battle the Glenrock Herders.
FOOTBALL - The Sheridan Bronc football team heads for Evanston today for a big early season 4-A showdown both teams are 2-1 heading into the game.
Last week senior running back Jordan Roberts scored six touchdowns the most by any player in a 4-A game this season Broncs Head coach Don Julian says Roberts is only getting better as he learns and gets more comfortable with the Bronc offense.
Julian expects a good game tonight with the Red Devils as both teams are alike in many ways.
Kilpatrick Creations Dolphins 4 0 0
First Interstate Broncos 3 1 0
Exterran Water Mgmt Colts 2 1 1
Pepsi Packers 2 2 0
Powder River Energy Chiefs 1 2 1
Wendy's Vikings 1 2 1
Mullinax Concrete Cardinals 1 3 0
Budget Blinds Steelers 0 3 1
For an indepth interview with Shauna Smith (click here)
FOOTBALL - The Sheridan Bronc football team loads the bus tomorrow for Evanston in a big early season 4-A showdown.
Both teams are 2-1 heading into the game the Broncs had no problem with Cheyenne South last week but Head coach Don Julian says they got some good things out of that victory.
The match up with the Red Devils tomorrow is big in the fact it could come into play late in the year for playoff seeding.
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I'm dealing with the same problem as leklausm and RicoPS3. Win7 32bit. It always gets stuck at 49% on http://radio3.sikhnet.com/siknetradio-channel3.mp3.m3u. If you let it run long enough i get a "Run-time error '14': Out of string space"
Removing the last line, the half of a line that's usually there, from the World-Radio.dat will allow you to get through Step 2 and Step 3 without issue. But then you only have 49% of the stations? I get 20373 lines in the World-Radio-Web-Conf.txt file.
I tried StreamJunkie's idea of removing all instances (lines 6545 and 6855) of the problem site from the World-Radio.csv. Then deleted the World-Radio.dat and ran it again, but the PS3-Radio.exe just re-downloads a new World-Radio.csv with the bad site.
6545 "India","SikhNet Radio Classical Raag","http://radio3.sikhnet.com/sikhnetradio-channel3.mp3.m3u","",Classical,Unknown,Unknown,"32K","M3U"
6855 "India","SikhNet Radio - Classical Raag","http://radio3.sikhnet.com/sikhnetradio-channel3.mp3.m3u","",60s,60s,60s,"32K","M3U"
Is there anyway to exclude bad sites? or have a timeout on bad sites and continue on?


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Police Report: Nov. 26 - 28, 2012
Published: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 at 6:42 p.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 at 6:42 p.m.
Nov. 26, 2012
Portions of the following information are based on facts provided by the arrested individuals. Those individuals have been booked with, not convicted of, the offenses shown. All accused should be presumed innocent until proven guilty.
Thibodaux Police Department
Tom Robertson, 70, 110 Red Rd., Gray, issuing worthless checks.
Lafourche Parish Sheriff's Office
Bryce Uzee, 19, 224 Country Village, simple burglary.
Gary Washington, 61, 309 Triple Oaks, Raceland, contempt.
Nov. 27, 2012
Lafourche Parish Sheriff's Office
Brandon Faucheaux, 24, 121 Rochelle Villa Ct., Gray, contempt.
Mark Guidry, 44, 117 Edgar Ln., Lockport, contempt.
Melissa Tillman, 46, 271 Brocato Ln., Raceland, two counts contempt.
Kandace Stegall, 33, 114 Lucille Ct., Houma, contempt.
Stephine Chiasson, 32, 1922 W. Main St., Schriever, three counts contempt, Writ of Habeas Corpus.
Dana Trahan, 30, 165 Pitre St., Houma, Writ of Habeas Corpus.
Javone Miles, 21, 310 Eauclaire Dr., Thibodaux, two counts contempt.
Larry Dupuy, 24, 166 Leonard St., Raceland, possession of marijuana — 3rd offense.
Cynthia Snyder, 53, 4016 Hwy. 1, Raceland, simple assault, resisting an officer.
Thibodaux Police Department
John Ruiz, 31, 1058 A People St., Thibodaux, theft of goods.
Terrebonne Sheriff's Office
Derrick Gerod Keith, 27, 115 Richard St., Elton, holding for other agency.
Douglas Anthony Authement III, 19, 222 Santa Monica Drive, Houma, probation violation.
Tiffany Lynn Eschete, 35, 616 Point St., Houma, 18 counts issuing worthless checks between $100 and $500.
Gabriel Michael Verdin Jr., 17, 320 RJ Drive, Chauvin, aggravated assault.
Gary Anthony Rodriguez Jr., 46, 104 Mimosa Lane, Montegut, failure to appear.
Joseph Webster Carmouche III, 33, 3620 Euclid St., Houma, failure to appear.
Zachary Darnell Smith, 24, 503 East St., Houma, failure to appear, DWI.
Houma City Police
Jermaine Joseph Netters, 28, 330 American Blvd., Houma, simple criminal damage to property, aggravated flight from officer, failure to pay fine and costs.
Nov. 28, 2012
Thibodaux Police Department
Larry Coleman, 22, 609 Grant Rd., Napoleonville, fugitive of Terrebonne. Rhalaya Armont, 24, 215 N. 9th St., Thibodaux, stop signs and yield signs, possession of alcoholic beverage in motor vehicle, suspension revocation/cancelation of license, fugitive of Terrebonne, fugitive of City Court.
Reader comments posted to this article may be published in our print edition. All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published without permission. Links are encouraged.


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My IL's have always been very disrespectful to me and have always been boundary stompers in regards to my children. I was very young when my husband and I started dating. I was 14 and he was 16. We've been together for 13 years now, married 6. We have 3 kids. Even though there is a lot of BG I'm only going to give a little so you can judge what you would do over this one situation.
My FIL is an alcoholic and stays up late most weekend nights. He doesn't live far from us and GMIL (his mom) lives next door. She is 70, still does everything on her own and gets around still just fine. I love her and help her when I can. FIL thinks that because he stays up late that everyone does or should. He also only listens to my husband's opinion and nothing of what I say, even when it comes to my kids.
Onto last nights situation, it was 12:30am and everyone was sleeping at my house. My kids had a sleep over so I had 5 kids at my house. The baby's room is next to ours. I get woken up by banging on the window and his grandma yelling to turn on our phones. She was saying how she heard a noise and was scared. I was aggravated as anyone would be getting woken up by someone banging on our bedroom window, but she's old so we made sure our phones were on.
She was outside of our bedroom window talking to someone which sounded like my BIL. After a minute or two they walked back to her house. We went back to sleep. About ten minutes later FIL starts banging hard on our other bedroom window! He's yelling to my husband saying "You need to turn your phone on. Your grandma heard something and she's scared!" Keep in mind he already knew GMIL came to the window and he saw her! I believe he only did this because he was mad that he had to stop drinking to come over. My husband told him "We know and I have my phone on if grandma needs me." FIL then starts yelling to grandma's yard saying "I'll make sure his phones on right now!" I yelled at that point that we have kids sleeping and call the police if there's a problem. I was mad to say the least. FIL called my husband's phone which was on loud and yells to grandma that it was on. FIL yells once again(still at our window) "You better answer if grandma calls!"
I could tell my husband was mad, but he never said anything to his dad about banging on our window or screaming or calling his phone. I was mad and wide awake. I told my husband this is ridiculous and your dad doesn't respect you or our family at all!
This morning my ODD (11yrs old) comes to me with her phone and says "Mom look, papa called my phone twice in the middle of the night once around 12:35am and 12:45! Why would he do that? I was sleeping!" I told her not to answer his calls. I was furious! He has no right to call a child a that time of the night.
I called my husband and once again told him I am done. I'm still not talking to him and taking a break from them. His response was "OK." Then I told him that the kids are included and aren't seeing him either. He sounded mad. I told him these are our kids and his dad was disrespectful to them too. I told him about his Dad calling our ODD. He got mad and hung up.
I haven't talked to his family in a few months and haven't had my kids around them either because of something much bigger than this incident. I'm continuing the TO with no end date. Since my husband thinks I'm being mean please tell him what you would have done in this situation? I will be showing this to him.


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CEO goes Finance
09.04.2013 - Wellington Partners has appointed Stuart M. Essig as a new Venture Partner for its life sciences investment team.
Essig comes from global medical device company Integra LifeSciences Holdings Corporation where he was CEO and Chairman of the Board from 1997. Before joining Integra, Mr. Essig supervised the medical technology practice at Goldman, Sachs & Co. as a Managing Director. Mr. Essig brings ten years of broad health care experience at Goldman Sachs, serving as a senior merger and acquisitions advisor to a broad range of domestic and international medical technology, pharmaceutical and biotechnology clients. Mr. Essig also serves on the Board of Directors of St. Jude Medical Corporation and ADVAMED, the Advanced Medical Technology Association. Mr. Essig received an A.B. degree from the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University and an M.B.A. and a Ph.D. degree in Financial Economics from the University of Chicago, Booth School of Business.http://www.european-biotechnology-news.com/people/bio-people/2013-01/stuart-m-essig.html


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- ASmall Text
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Some radioactive material from Japan's troubled nuclear reactor has made its way to New Hampshire.
Scientists from Dartmouth College said they've found isotopes from the disaster in some ground and water samples.
The Fukushima-Daiichi Power Plant melted down following a strong earthquake and tsunami in Japan in March 2011.
While radioactive at one point, researchers said the New Hampshire findings pose no danger to the public.
Researchers are now studying how the material traveled to the Northeast from Japan through the water cycle.


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Rhubarb – The Spring Treat
Often regarded as a fruit, but technically a vegetable, this hardy herbaceous perennial is grown for its edible leaf stalks which can be used for jam-making and desserts for several weeks beginning mid-spring. Rhubarb is a cool-season crop and does best grown in the northern third of the U.S. It requires a cold period to break dormancy. A rhubarb plant forms a large mound, almost 3 feet wide and almost as tall. Its huge leaves are supported by stalks that are usually red, but some varieties have green stems.
Rhubarb can be grown in the same spot for many years, so it's important to choose a location where plants will not be disturbed for several years. The site should be free of perennial weeds, especially quackgrass, and should have good drainage and fertile soil. Prior to planting, cultivate the soil to a depth of about 12 inches and incorporate plenty of organic matter. A full sun location is good, but rhubarb is the only vegetable able to tolerate a half-day of shade. The east side of a building works well, where it can escape the hot afternoon sun.
Plant the crowns in spring, spacing about 3 to 4 feet apart, with the young shoots or "eyes" about 2 inches below the soil level. If planted too deeply, the eyes will rot away. Mulch the crowns well, keep the soil moist, and provide generous amounts of a balanced fertilizer through the growing season. The next spring, top dress the young rhubarb plants with manure or a granular or liquid fertilizer. The more food and water you give rhubarb, the more stalks it will produce and the thicker it will be. There is little danger of overfeeding. Cut off any flowering spikes as they emerge in the spring and summer, and remove any spindly, unwanted leaves as they occur. Apply mulch around the plants after the first frost of fall, but don't fertilize late in the season. Although best planted in spring, rhubarb can also be planted in early fall, but a mulch should be applied for the first winter.
Don't harvest any stalks the first year of growth; the second year, harvest a few stalks from each plant. Beginning the third year, harvest for up to two months, but don't' remove more than one-half the stalks at any one time so food reserves rebuild in the roots.
The rhubarb crop can be advanced by as much as 3 weeks if covered with loose straw or an upturned pot or pail to protect the developing leaves and stalks from frost damage. Pick the rhubarb when the stalks are about 10 to 15 inches long. Grip each stalk as close to its base as possible and pull them away from the crown at a slight angle. It's the best practice to pull the stems, not cut them, but if you prefer harvesting by cutting, do so by cutting 1 to 2 inches above the crown, making sure not to cut into the crown. Discard the leaves as they contain oxalic acid, are toxic and should not be eaten. When most of the emerging stalks are thin, usually when weather turns hot, it's time to stop harvesting.
It is recommended that rhubarb be divided every 4 to 5 years, or sooner if the stalks become thin and spindly. In early spring, cut down through the center of the plant with a sharp spade leaving half the plant intact. The removed portion can be divided and transplanted to a new location, but dust the cut surface with a fungicide and set in the sun for 2 to 3 days to callous and then replant.
Rhubarb is quite free of insects and diseases. A disease called crown rot can occur if rhubarb is planted on poorly drained soil or if new plants are set in the same location where grown previously. A copper fungicide will help in controlling this problem. If any plants die of this disease, they should be removed and care taken to prevent contamination of healthy plants.
Great recipes using rhubarb are plentiful. Here is one of our favorites we want to share.
1 ½ cup brown sugar 2 cups flour
½ cup margarine 1 tsp. baking soda
2 eggs ½ tsp. salt
1 cup sour cream 1 ½ cups diced fresh rhubarb
Cream sugar and margarine. Add eggs, beat well. Blend in sour cream. Combine dry ingredients together and blend with creamed mixture. Fold in diced rhubarb. Pour into a greased 9"x13" pan.
½ cup sugar 2 tsp. cinnamon
½ cup chopped nuts 2 T. margarine
Mix above ingredients and sprinkle on top of cake batter. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes.


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|Van, Texas
|High School:
|Van HS
|Previous College:
|Eastern Illinois
|Opposite Hitter
2010 (Sophomore): Played in 28-of-30 matches during the year and her 20 starts were the fourth-most on the team ... finished with 163 kills, the third-highest total among Islanders, and had a 1.75 kill-per-set average throughout the year ... finished with 123 digs to go along with 32 total blocks ... had 24 service aces and 16 assists as a sophomore ... against Maryland Eastern Shore (9/4) she recorded a season-high 11 kills while surpassing the double-digit kill mark three times during the season ... 11 digs against UTPA (10/19) and seven blocks against Sam Houston (9/30) were season highs ... had double-digit digs three times during the year.
2009 (Freshman): Played in 28 matches with three starts ... recorded the third-best total in kills with 122 ... tied for second-best block total among returning players with 20 ... had a career-high 14 kill performance against Penn (9/11) ... recorded a career-high two blocks in a match five times ... had 42 digs during the season with a career-high of seven at Stephen F. Austin (9/19).
Prior to A&M-Corpus Christi: Redshirted during the 2008 volleyball season at Eastern Illinois University.
High School: Played at Van High School for coach Kim Welch ... averaged 12 kills, 10 digs and four blocks-per-match during her senior season ... recorded 250 kills during her final year with the Vandals ... was District 14-3A MVP and Second Team All-East Texas ... named to First Team All-District in her junior season ... helped her team to district, bi-district and area championships while reaching the quarterfinals of the state playoffs ... lettered four years in volleyball, four years in basketball, three years in track, two years in softball and three years of cheerleading ... Second Team All-District in basketball her junior and senior seasons ... cheerleading All-American.
Personal: Born Shannon Grace Hullum on March 26, 1990, in Tyler ... daughter of Amy White and Bill and Angie Hullum ... has three older siblings and three younger siblings: Kristen, Amy, Aaron, Michael, Braydon and Cooper ... accounting major.


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Yoga — Why So Serious?
I don't mean to Bikram-bash, but my first yoga studio experience happened to be in a Bikram studio, and it wasn't great. What turned me off the most about the experience was the energy in the room. Nobody was smiling. I can't stand being places where no one's smiling — my defense mechanisms kick in, among them a very snarky sense of humor. I found myself trying to fight laughter from the jokes I was telling myself internally to qualm the awkwardness, while staying as silent externally as everyone else. It's difficult to ground yourself and balance on one foot when you're shaking at your core from fighting hysterical laughter!
This isn't the way a yoga class should be. Yoga is fun. I enjoy the practice. So why do most yogis seem so serious all the time?


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gland 1
1An organ in the human or animal body that secretes particular chemical substances for use in the body or for discharge into the surroundings.
Example sentences
- It releases stimulating hormones that signal the thyroid gland, adrenal glands, ovaries and testes, directing them to produce their respective hormones.
- A CT scan, however, reveals these bones and organs as well as your pancreas, adrenal glands, ureters and blood vessels - all with a higher degree of precision.
- Hypoplasia of other organs, such as the adrenal glands, kidney, pituitary gland, and thymus, may also be attributed to tetraploidy.
1.1A structure resembling this, especially a lymph node.
Example sentences
- Mumps is caused by a virus and symptoms include swollen glands, pain when chewing and fever.
- Other symptoms might include swollen glands, fever, recurring sore throat, memory impairment and/or sleep problems.
- 'My father had experienced flu-like symptoms and swollen glands for a while before diagnosis,' Rob recalled.
1.2 Botany A secreting cell or group of cells on or within a plant structure.
Example sentences
- The latter often produce copious secretions to the plant surface, outside the cuticle, or stored within glands.
- The report states that nectar glands occur only within the genus Eriocaulon.
- The family is characterized by various kinds of sclereids, hypophyllous glands and specific nectary bracts.
Late 17th century: from French glande, alteration of Old French glandre, from Latin glandulae 'throat glands'.
Words that rhyme with glandand, band, bland, brand, expand, firsthand, grand, hand, land, manned, misunderstand, offhand, rand, righthand, Samarkand, sand, stand, strand, thirdhand, underhand, undermanned, understand, unplanned, untanned, withstand
For editors and proofreaders
Syllabification: gland
Definition of gland in:
gland 2
A sleeve used to produce a seal around a piston rod or other shaft.
Example sentences
- Engine access, for such routine maintenance as changing the oil filter or adjusting the packing gland on the shaft, is poor.
- The major disadvantage is that the packing gland is beneath the engine and transmission, making service and alignment more difficult.
For editors and proofreaders
Syllabification: gland
Definition of gland in:
What do you find interesting about this word or phrase?
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AS per the sticky up top, I have filled in the Problem reporting Matrix... However - So far throughout my testing the issue seems to be server side, and I am wondering if it just because PMS works like this, or if it is a permissions issue, or what?
Once PMS starts up and is loaded (not running as an auto started Windows service / Daemon) - Whatever media exists int he shared folders is all that will ever be displayed in the media list... Until PMS is restarted; then it will happily enumerate all the new files and serve them just fine.
My issue, is that as files are added to the shared folders, they will not show up. Nothing I do on the client side effects the listing of the new files int he shared folder... Only thing that does is when I kill, then restart PMS.
IS there a fix to that? Otherwise, I absolutely love this app as my first choice in UPNP / DLNA media Server-ness... But for Pete's sake... What am I missing here?
Thanks, I am sure (and hopeful) that i was just a a buffon who missed something Blaringly obvious, and so please sass / belittle / flame away... Just please tell me how to fix this.
My Google fu is lacking here, which usually spells "It's just you that is having this problem".
1- Your computer specs (cpu, memory, O/S) and the precise version of PMS that you're using (eg 1.10.51 or r409, not "latest version")
Immaterial, however i5, 8GB RAM, 120Gb SSD, 2 x 2TB WD Black HDD, 2 x Radeon HD 6950, etc. Windows 7 pro x64
PMS Version 1.30.1 (and past few versions that i have used)
2- Device you are streaming to (PS3, XBox360, etc) and the .conf file if using a custom renderer profile
Various - all have same issue - It appears to be Server side
3- Your local network setup (WAN/ISP bandwidth does not matter) including connection type (Wifi, homeplugs, 100mbit ethernet, gigabit) and what you're connected through (direct connection, switch, router) --> e.g. PC <-Wifi G-> Linksys WRT54G Router <-100mbps-> PS3
10/100/1000 Wired Ethernet - Via Gigabit router - others Via Wireless G lan. Same router. PC -> TELUS Supplied gigabit / wireless G Router -> Devices
4- Which engine you are using if you're transcoding (MEncoder, AviSynth/MEncoder, TSmuxer)
5- Detailed information on what is not working
Any new files added tot he shared folders will not appear no matter what is done to the client devices. Will appear instantly upon restart of PMS. Is this by design? Or is there somethng I missed? Or will ic onstantly have to get up and go and restart PMS to watch something that just finished ripping / downloading?
6- A debug.log file excerpt or the whole file - http://ps3mediaserver.org/forum/viewtop ... 484#p38484
7- The text output from MediaInfo (it's a program, click the link) can usually help figure out what's going on if you're having issues with a specific file or file type.